#i will think of a tag yall can filter i promise

[gardenerian]

lmao there are 77 posts scheduled for march 28 you have been warned askljhf

[jabberwocky-warrior]

Random dating headcanons for every NRC Student

Featuring all NRC students [[Platonic Ortho]]

All headcanons are based on you dating the characters. Only pronoun used is "you". Can be read as Prefect/OC/Selfinsert I think

Tags: Fluff, random dating HCs, Platonic Ortho,

TW // Food mentioned in multiple, these are dating headcanons,

A/N I strongly believe in Leona's. I didn't word it perfectly but i love these.

734 words | Not proofread at all |

Leona waits for you to start eating first. Eating first is a big deal in a lot of animal behaviors and in royal etiquette, the monarch eats first but for you, he’ll always make an exception.

Kalim plans for your trip to his home ahead of time. IT’s not even like in an itinerary way but a safety. All guard/servants are informed before your arrival. He makes sure their is a list of who will be cooking food for you. He even asks jamil for insider knowledge on which servants to watch out for.

Malleus really really really wants to see you in traditional Briar valley garments. Like REally Really Really badly wants to see you in them. Especially ones that match with his own.

Lilia wants to take you to a classic Fae revelry. To dance all night with you. Dont worry about the dangers of having your name taken. A simple fix really. Let him take your last name and replace it with his.

Azul took one of his old quills that were worn out and turned it into a necklace for you. He’s also turned his other old quills into other trinkets like bookmarks, pins, etc.

[[Platonic]] Ortho loves playing 20 questions with you about random human things.

Deuce sends his mom selfies of you two on dates all the time. She loves seeing him so happy with you. His mom will send a selfie back with the snapchat dog filter. One time it started a Selfie war.

Sebek loves when you lay your head on his lap and vice-versa. His favorite thing is you laying on his chest while he reads a book. If you ask, he’ll read it out loud to you.

Vil sews your initials into his dorm uniform. He’ll add his initials into your clothes if you’ll let him.

Epel loves walking hand in hand with you through the woods on campus. It reminds him of home and having you here makes it even better.

Cater created a private magicam account just to post candid photos of you two together. Its private so No one can see them but him. He regularly checks it when hes feeling down.

Ace loves when you have cuddle dates. He doesn’t even care if you fall asleep early. He just loves the company. Sleep comes to him quickly with you by his side.

Silver asked his dad to secretly follow yall on your first date and wake him up every time he fell asleep. You date was a picnic surrounded by trees just to make sure Lilia had ample space to hide from your sight.

Riddle he convinced you to have a big study date for a big exam coming up. When you arrived at heartslabyul though, he lead you to the garden where he had a romantic dinner set up.

Rook carves your name into his bow. It’s in obnoxious cursive and he adds poetry in french next to it.

Jack brings you to his family BBQs. He loves watching you play with his siblings and seeing how perfecting you fit in with his family.

Ruggie reverse pickpockets you. He leaves you favorite candy/snacks in your bag. If you text him complaining that your hungry but cant get a snack, he just tells you where to check in your bag.

Jade will try any food concoction you make as long as you’ll try his. If you hate mushrooms he will willingly leave them out of the dish.

Jamil loves when you come to watch his basketball. It’s one of the only times he can go all out. He cant help but smile seeing you in the crowd cheering for him.

Trey will scheme his way into being partnered with you as often as he can. He’s not above calling in a favor but normally promising sweets is enough.

Floyd got you a giant eel plushy. It the size of a pregnancy pillow and is the shape. When he comes over to your room he will hug it until you get into bed with him.

Idia will pull for characters that remind him of you. Whether its just their hair or their personality, it doesn’t matter. You know when someone builds a character that isnt meta and isnt that great and they turn them into a DPS GOD. Yeah he does that with those characters.

I love them all your honor.

I hope you enjoy this post. Feel free to send in asks/requests.

If you notice any mistakes please let me know!!

[freddie-77-ao3]

sup yall we're vibing here

anyway. hey, my name's freddie, and i'm finally trying to write an actual intro/master post which... we'll see how this goes.

important stuff is highlighted in orange.

so, basic stuff:

as I said, my name's freddie. he/him pronouns. i'm a college student (majoring in accounting, might add a psych minor). not gonna say which college but i'm currently in california.

i've been on tumblr since 2019 i think? not under this account, this started as a fandom account and then spiralled out of control... really fast. um, my regular tumblr which i've not actually opened in ages is @chronicchthonic14 so. yeah.

not particularly relevant to this blog, but i might mention it at some point so, i have autism and adhd. and some other things but. like. that list is very long and those are the two most relevant because i promise if i come off wrong/mean, i didn't mean to, i just forget to make my words normal. but. those are the two most referenced. if for whatever reason someone wants to know more or has questions you can send an ask ig?

i'm scottish, born there. moved to US when I was four. finishing uni and moving back.

some quick warnings

this blog definitely contains cursing/vulgar language, whatever you want to call it, so if you're not comfortable with that, probably not the blog for you, as i don't tag cursing or anything for you to filter out.

if, for whatever reason, if i ever reblog something that contains a slur (against racial minorities, queer people, anything) i will ABSOLUTELY tag that though.

also if anyone has any trigger warnings they think any content needs, please let me know-- asks, dms, comments, reblogs

the cursing thing also applies for sort of dirty jokes? think that only applies to like. two posts and very not explicit. those aren't currently tagged but if they get any more explicit they certainly will be.

queer identity because the explicit reminded me, i'm asexual, and probably straight. maybe bi? dunno, don't particularly care. and i'm trans. ftm. this isn't the blog i talk about that on usually though, unless it relates to a specific ask or a fandom thing.

which, getting into what this blog is for because i can't think of anything else i need to add here (guys let me know if i forgot important stuff, please, i'm an idiot!!! i will forget the important stuff and write random shit instead!! i've already deleted three tangents from this!!)

sooooo

fandoms!! ones i write and/or post about or will potentially post about

percy jackson extending to hoo, toa, tkc (definitely post way less about this), mcga (again, way less). haven't read TSATS or COTG yet, but spoilers are fine. i post way more about minor characters. write fanfiction for and have some posted (both on here and ao3) and a bunch of snippets.

dcu-- films, comics, animated shows, all of it. personally, my favorites are young justice (the comics, not show version), new teen titans, and batman inc (batgirls, nightwing, and red robin esp). late 90s yj run is my favorite, and i loved the DCeased event. favorite batman comic is definitely court of owls run. no fanfics posted, but some on docs.

mcu-- way less so, but have a stucky oneshot. slowly making my way through in timeline order.

throne of glass. i'm an aedion and chaol apologizer because they do a bunch of dumb shit but then WHO DOESN'T in this series. fanfics in doc, not posted.

this would go on for ages if i listed everything so instead, here's an ask i answered on my fandoms/genres and everything. feel free to send me asks about anyone. if you send me something about radium girls i may cry though (tears of joy) so there's your advanced warning.

main things you'll see on my blog are incorrect quotes, snippets, and the occasional fic

this^^

my... idk, contact policy? seriously what do i word this

asks are always open, anon is on.

if you send hate... whatever. i'll probably delete it.

unless i find it funny. then I'll post it. there's really little you could say to me that would hurt.

when i say asks are always open, you can drop anything you want.

literally anything

you need to vent? want advice? want to request headcanons? request a fic? give me a prompt? ask random things about me? something else I've forgotten? go right ahead

if you want to ask me to update my fics? go right ahead. sometimes i forget i didn't post something.

send as many asks as you want, i don't care if it might be spam

i can't promise i'll respond to asks in a timely manner, sometimes i open my inbox and forget they exist for months, i'm sorry. if it's something you really want answered you can send another one

dm's are alright? if you want to be friends or something, go right ahead.

anyone can reblog any of my posts/comment/heart, i don't care. you want to heart 50 things in a row? i adore you. if i had kids, you would get my firstborn

if we're mutuals you can ask for my insta/give me yours.

now, other accounts:

anyway, i think that's it?

[ratwars]

Housekeeping. Long af, but important if you give a shit about my tagging system or actively use it to filter or regularly search my blog.

When I first started this blog I didn't know wtf I was doing or how to use tumblr. However as someone who loves making things searchable and sortable I quickly fell in love with the tagging system, and started extensively using organizational tags. I quickly settled on a consistent system I have been using ever since.

I used to never talk on here either but eventually decided to do that more but when my follower count was lower (which I miss tbh) it was super obvious when ppl would unfollow me, which tended to happen after personal posting. So I created a -pers tag so ppl could shut me up but still get 24 hr reblogs. Because I did have a queue going for the better part of those 2 years.

My queue ended a couple times in the past 6 months and I haven't had the time or energy to put it back together again. I miss having it. I also have less time and energy to deal with my own tagging system causing me to do most of my reblogs in 2 parts. Drafting things when I see them. Tagging and posting them later sometimes weeks later as my drafts build up. I have been even worse about leaving compliments and comments in tags as well because of this. I am tired and busy but I miss it.

In order to combat my issues and take the burden off of myself that I put on myself, and allow me to hopefully do more of what I enjoy while still sharing lots of rbs with yall, I am doing the following:

I will no longer be consistently tagging individual bsd characters except for a few. Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma, and Dazai (because I regularly search them on my own blog). And possibly characters who it is more of a rare treat to rb fanart of them, like Higuchi and Mori. I will no longer be tagging bsd posts that have other bsd tags in them as bsd separately (so the common "bsd fyodor, bsd fanart, bsd, would become bsd fyodor, bsd fanart.)

I will still tag new chapters on chapter release days and the day after, as well as continue to use the bsd spoilers tag for even longer.

For other series that are not bsd, I will only tag the series and no longer tag characters or use a fanart tag separately, with the exception of the dialovers Carla and Yui Komori tags.

I will no longer tag nature.

I will no longer tag quotes.

I will only use the "art" tag for non fandom related art, I will no longer use the illustration (or illlustration) tags.

I will use weirdcore or dreamcore tags but not both on the same post. It is important to me that ppl can still filter these out.

I will use -pers and -vent still, but with absolutely zero further promises that I will tag my own talking consistently. I will still put long or (things that I think would be) super upsetting under cuts like I have in the past. I will probably still delete things regularly.

I will no longer tag me reblogging my own posts as self rb.

I will keep my -whump on main tag, so ppl can filter that still. I will still tag cw eyestrain and cw flashing for accessibility. I will still tag blood and gore if it is intense and I post it here instead of my sideblog but I do not promise consistency.

I will still use my ask and tunes tags, and if I do special queues (like the friday fyo queue) I will tag those. I do plan on using my old queue tag as well or making a new one.

If I have gotten rid of anything that you actively filter please feel free to unfollow me even if we are mutuals. I also don't find it weird for people to visit my blog and interact with me without following me, so if you do feel you need to unfollow me but still want to search your blorbos on my blog, send me asks, or talk in my tags and replies, please do so and of course reblog and spam reblog from me to your heart's content. If you want to unfollow me and we have ever talked in dms before my dms are still open to you then as well. It doesn't bother me at all. This isn't so much of a new thing either in regards to my feelings about that, just a clarification I thought I should explicitly point out rn given the fact more of you might want to bail if you can't hide my bird posting for instance.

I might change or drop any of this if I feel like it. I enjoy being consistent, but I don't like feeling bound to it. And I realized I was which made me want to abandon my blog and start over without the imagined expectations. Instead I am trying this.

[nightswithkookmin]

Uhmmm,

Stigma or no stigma I'm unapologetically me💀

I'm not knocking down your doors to read my posts hell I stopped using tags on my post cos I ain't trying to be found by no one.

I'm unaligned, I don't play by any body's rules. So whatever unstated moral codes yall have don't apply to me. I'm late on the dues and you can't collect🙂

I just try to be respectful as much as I can and I don't have nefarious intentions towards the people I ship- except for Jimin. I WANT TO FUCK HIM.

As a wise Asian philosopher once said; drink on live, life's too short.

At some point you gotta stop caring about people's judgement of you. Me, I just don't give a rats ass. The only thoughts I can't say outloud are thoughts I'm not having. If I can I thinketh it I can sayeth it. The only filter I need is Jimin.

But you right, it's annoying seeing people reinforce negative stereotypes and engage in primitive behaviors such as ostracizing people based on individual differences. Oh he's gay, he must be a child molestor, she's black she must be a criminal, she's into true crime oh she must be a creep.

It's old. Its tired. Stupid and boring. And you can tell not a lot of people are evolved from the way they talk about people. What's that saying, when you judge another you do not define them. You define yourself.

I'm not gonna go on a end all forms of social stigma campaign that's for unicef and BTS.

But isn't it ironical that Tae writes songs about stigma, Yoongi writes Polar night talking about selective hypocrisy and how don't care about facts just as long as you are on their side.

Which is an apt description of this community. It's all about sides and trying to convince people to be on their side by fabricating lies, exaggerating issues, demonizing people, stigmatizing folks, baiting, entrapping, won't let slide cos that's their only window to take them down.

It's almost as if all the hateful things that go on in the Fandom is being projected onto them and they experience the same things some of us experience at the hands of their so called fans.

The hypocrisy of these same people yelling protect tannies, they don't deserve this, that's racism and xenophobic against them yet they will turn around and perpetuate these same stigma against whomever they deem is in the "minority" or different to them.

So judgy and for what.

Personally, I'm having a blast out here to care what anybody thinks. I'm doing things that make me happy and if it's imaging Jms dick with veins on them then so be it🙂

Misery loves company so you'll see them convening on people's blogs and in chat groups to discuss their misery.

It's a shame that someone's opinion, choice of lifestyle, decisions on how to use their platform can make others soo miserable because it screws with their idea of what this space should look like.

I'm doing my thing and I'm glad that thing brings a little joy and laughter to others.

For any one my posts make miserable, sorry

I'LL DO IT AGAIN

THAT'S A PROMISE

[purrincess-chat]

I feel like I've been hit by a sledgehammer bc of this ep. Understandably so that people who didn't want pre reveal Adrienette dating are upset and I can get behind that. But I feel like I'm bummed out bc now I think that pre reveal Adrienette dating is not well and terrible. I do enjoy it, but seeing other people's opinions just made me disheartened. Makes me feel like I'm the best who's dumb or stupid for enjoying it.

So, a couple bits of advice that I find work quite well for me:

Stop reading people's salt posts because they're almost always written in bad faith from places of anger, meant to antagonize, and they pass their opinions off as fact, so of course anyone who dares disagree is a fucking idiot because they deem their opinion as the only valid one. (which people like that in general are just yikes)

Filters are your friends. Tumblr has a quite effective filtering system. You can filter words, phrases, usernames, tags, literally anything you don't want to see. If it's someone that you generally like and don't want to unfollow them because of their opinions, ask them nicely to use a specific tag for those kinds of posts so you can filter them. Now you don't have to look at them.

If fandom is stressing you out, take a break. It's the holiday season. Go visit friends and family, decorate some cookies, eat something delicious, go outside and go for a walk and get some fresh air. I am a strong advocate for taking breaks from fandom to clear your head and realign your priorities. Fandom is supposed to be fun. Sometimes people just forget that and take things way too seriously. Take a week off. If that's too much, take a day. Do something else for a bit, and I promise when you come back you'll realize how silly it is to let other people dictate your feelings.

And if anyone is angry at you for having the audacity to *checks notes* enjoy something and is telling you that you're stupid for enjoying something, then that says a lot more about them than it does about you, babe. People can vague post about me until their fingers fall off, but I have neither the energy nor desire to care because I'm not sorry for enjoying what I enjoy. Art and media are subjective, and plenty of people enjoy different aspects of the same source material based on their personal experiences, beliefs, and preferences. One idea isn't better than the other, no matter what anyone says. If you like something, that is totally and completely valid. You don't need to justify it to anyone. (not to mention arguing over the same two ass people has always been and always will be silly to me like the reveal is gonna happen and everything is going to be one dynamic anyway so why are yall pressed)

Additionally, if it helps, I can tell you the reasons why I love their development this season.

As someone who has always related to their dynamic in particular, and whose favorite part of their side is watching Adrien fall for her, the whole shift this season has had me really giddy. From the very first episode of this show, Marinette has been scheming and planning ways to get Adrien to notice her/tell him she loves him. We've seen her grow and overcome her jealousy, we've seen her put him first, we've seen her care about him when no one else did, we've seen her fight for him, which most of those he never even knew because she didn't do those things to make him love her, she did them because she loves him. I've loved the direction they took their dynamic this season with Adrien finally realizing that Marinette means so much to him and coming to understand those special feelings for her are love at the same time that Marinette is dealing with heavy trauma surrounding him. And just the absolute tender way Adrien approaches her and tries to help her through all of that is just *chefs kisses*

It shows huge development on their part for Marinette to even be able to admit that she loves him and wants to be with him (even just by raising her hand). And Adrien meeting her where she is and not putting her down for not being able to speak her mind, but instead being so incredibly patient and gentle and understanding. Adrien loves her in spite of all of her antics. He finds her quirks charming, and he sees through all of it to the girl underneath. She didn't need to go through with some crazy scheme or grand gesture to confess her feelings to him. They just needed to get down on each other's level and talk and communicate with each other and learn to understand each other. It's high time that the show brought the two of them closer and let the two of them work through her anxiety around him together. I completely love the two of them ditching their friends' ideas of what their relationship needs to look like and instead opting to figure out what works best for them together. Having the two of them date pre reveal and sort through that trauma together and learn the ways that they need to be loved is going to help them tremendously when the reveal eventually happens, and I can't wait for that!

And that's just a portion of my feelings for them this season because I don't want to spoil later episodes that people haven't watched yet, but yeah, I think their development is so sweet and satisfying to watch. And if anyone is mad at me (or anyone) for just enjoying the show, then that's their problem. I have better things to do than worry about people being mad at me for liking something because imo, that's a really dumb reason to be mad at someone. Like can you imagine someone being like:

"Hey, I really like chocolate milk."

Then someone else being like:

"Um, how fucking dare you? Strawberry milk is the only good milk, and anyone who likes chocolate milk is fucking stupid and should feel bad for liking it."

You see how silly that sounds? Don't let other people convince you that chocolate milk is gross if you like it. They can get over it or die mad, either way you have a tasty beverage. Let them ruin their own day, not yours. But that's just my approach. I am a very laid back person who's never really given a fuck about what other people think of me tho. That portion of my personality has only strengthened with age because I find that it rarely truly matters, especially when it comes to fandom. If they're not paying my bills or putting food on my table, then I don't particularly care if they don't like the way I feel about fictional teenagers. But I get not everyone is like that, so go with my 3 tips above. Subjecting yourself to salt posts is only going to warp the way you view the show and ruin your overall enjoyment of it. (trust me, I've been there) Leave the salters to their bitterness, and just enjoy the show. You'll be better off for it.

[faunina]

I posted 16,541 times in 2022

20 posts created (0%)

16,521 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@villalunae

@modmad

@stay-xen

@2percentsugar

@andrea-csenge

I tagged 5,622 of my posts in 2022

#spn - 562 posts

#the untamed - 347 posts

#dracula daily - 338 posts

#ml - 216 posts

#deutsch - 210 posts

#cats - 129 posts

#batman - 112 posts

#terminal baby disease - 111 posts

#laugh rule - 109 posts

#birds - 87 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#also like. all my love to all the jess/sam truthers out there bc yall really took a woman that was invented to be killed off after less than

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

a super late little entry for mermay: Tuyet and Cetus, from A Queen For The Kingdom, a retelling of The Little Mermaid by @shanastoryteller !

30 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

#4

gay people. gay people in my inbox

bonus: jonathan you tried to do WHAT

55 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#3

they got bitches in castle dracula???

bonus:

94 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#2

We could think about flowers, we could think about cake We could think about wonderful promises we have the power to make There's an awful a lot of awful things we could be thinking of But for just one day let's only think about love!

they have been married!!!!! for a full year now!!!!!!! and on their first anniversary dean wakes cas up with some aggressively snuggly “hello good morning i love you !!” kisses, and cas is happier happier happier than he can EVER remember being

ID: A drawing of Dean Winchester and Castiel lying in bed, from a top-down view. Dean is dressed in dark grey boxer shorts and light grey shirt, he is wearing dark nail polish and a tattoo of Castiel’s handprint is visible on his shoulder. Castiel is not wearing any clothes, except for the wedding band on his left ring finger. The dark green duvet covers them from about the waist down. Dean has one leg swung up around Castiel’s waist and is clutching at his face, pressing a messy close-mouthed kiss to his cheek. Castiel is clutching back to him and laughing. Bright morning light filters over them in the shape of a window. A line of text above the image says “Happy Destiel Wedding Anniversary!”. End ID.

aaaaaaaaaaaand the linework! just because i really liked how this one turned out, even tho i specifically didn’t sweat the anatomy as much

See the full post

243 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

HAPPY NOVEMBER 5TH TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE!

click for a surprise :)

[ID. Digital art of Dean Winchester done in black lineart. He’s holding his own hand over Castiel’s handprint, which is red, and looking forlorn. When clicked, the transparency reveals Castiel with his wings and a halo, holding Dean by the waist and resting their foreheads together. End ID.]

1,828 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[elprupneerg]

I woke up and didn’t want to end it all just to end the pain. Still sore, but not “suicidal intrusive thoughts have returned with a vengeance” sore. This is a massive improvement compared to the past month or two (it was lowkey starting to get scary how often I was having those thoughts come back. I’ve got ways to deal with them, but realizing I was using methods to keep myself around that I’d thought were put away for good once I’d started saving up to go back to school has not been fun)

Also, I think I’m gonna try and tag my medication adventures going forward with “elprup does drugs” so people can filter it if needed. Can’t promise I’ll actually stick with it but I’ll do my best. Also not sure how often I’ll be posting in there, but given my usual over sharing habit I’ll assume it’ll be quite a bit. I’m just really fucking excited to have treatments yall. Like holy fuck I haven’t had this much energy in months, it’s awesome

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

yee ty for answering that murder-mama ask!! I guessed it was Wanda but I couldn't be sure of myself heheeh. 100% agree with everything you said too. I think about Wanda and immediately go an listen to my body is a cage by arcade fire and little pistol by mother mother

Yeah, no worries!

I've got a lot of thoughts about her, as well as the tragedy that seems to follow her everywhere. Also wow woman

I'm gonna confess, I have 2 secret fics that feature her. And I make her so much worse.

The fics haven't been released to public eyes yet due to... Insecure author.

They feature 2 OCs who learn some very important lessons.

Letting someone's shitty behavior run wild because you love them is a very easy way to get people, yourself included, hurt.

Just because someone is family, does not mean they have your best interests in mind.

The first OC is Violet Darling. I like rotating her in my brain, my sad, messy scrunkly. She's head over heels for Wanda, but sadly was a bit too late to the party. She gets virtually dragged through the events of Infinity War, Endgame, Wandavision, and Multiverse of Madness, hopelessly in love, but too scared to say anything. She sides with the Scarlet Witch during the beginning with the Kamar-Taj raid, but gets yeet into America and Stephen's Multiverse Hopping Adventure via the lovely "stood too close to the portal and got sucked in" method and, after a lot of prodding, finally opens up about why she's so angry and bitter about the world. She enabled Wanda constantly and did anything she asked, refusing to see the monster she was becoming.

The other is Rose, no last name. Sweet baby girl. Never done anything wrong in her life. Finds the Scarlet Witch in a not-so-good state, and, after a convincing sob story, promises to help her find her poor sons, tragically kept away from their mother by 2 very cruel people. In exchange, Rose will get help finding her own mom, who abandoned her as a newborn. Rose is really hoping though, that this perfect, loving mother, will take on a third child...

I wonder how well that's gonna go?

Anyways if you wanna send more asks I'm happy to take em! I'll tag with #marvel talk so anyone who doesn't like it can filter them out. I know some of yall are just here for kitties, and I respect that! Maybe one day I'll post the other fics alongside WCR.

[a-haunting-of-endermen]

head in hands this is the only thing i'm gonna say abt the matter

two wrongs don't make a right.

was it shit of the pollmaker to downplay jellie, and rehash the whole "lmao there's a few bad MC YT so they're all stupid and cringe 🤪" we've heard a million times by now? Yes!

was it shit of some of us to kneejerk and escalate to the point of spitting venom and sending actual death threats, harassing OP to the point where they deactivated? Also yes!

I absolutely, 100% understand that jellie's passing is still very, very, very recent. My heart is still hurting. OP hit a sore spot, yes — probably a bigger one than they were anticipating.

But what would Scar think about this, hm? Would he want this stupid little stink to be jellie's last impression on the world? Do we want to honor her memory like... this? Nah fam. I really, really don't think so.

I'm gonna leave with this: disengage, and block, filter, ignore.

Things in online spaces may make me mad sometimes. That's bound to happen. I can't control what someone else says, but I can control how *I* react to the thing. It's easy, WAY too easy, to want to respond right there and then, bc your phone or computer is right there — you're *reading* the ugly thing right this second.

But. Take a moment, let the spark of anger dull, squeeze your fists together, punch a pillow, say "BUBBLES" angrily, take an anger walk, just do. something to dissipate that initial anger. Then, come back to tumblr. Use the block button liberally, my friends. I promise you; the block button is your bestie. Filter out any tags from the OG post. Do not betray your hard work by engaging with the post in the future.

I love yall. And I appreciate everything that our wonderful community is. But we're much too large to let things like this get out of hand.

/done. Lmao.

[returnofahsoka]

im gonna temporarily unfollow some folks im sorry i just cant deal with this atm

[pdfbabe]

getting a lot of Soup Traction from my soup post (ig now its the headache post) so. Pinned post ig? I'm on mobile so this will be a mess

I'm Maggie or Mags or Tag. 20. I was r2-dj til a few months ago. Any pronouns, pref. they/them or zie/hir. uhh yeah.

This is my main; polygon/podcast sideblog is @dapperdasha, supernatural sideblog is @angel-derogatory. No promises on activity there <3

Minors, blacklist #nsft. i don't post anything explicit, but. I would prefer it.

I tag oc with #maggie.txt, college/academic stuff with #maggie goes to college. My older brother ben, who is an icon, has a devoted tag: #known brother ben. You may be interested in my #soup tag, my #ibuprosting or my #pdf postin. You can filter out #ask game if im spamming it. If you ask me to i will absolutely tag a cw or tw.

omg also!! my little gay tag about my little gay girlfriend (@lesbian-sailor) is #🌻mercury tag hehe hoohoo. so there's that.

everything is ok to rb unless otherwise noted! i tend to ramble in the tags as is my god given bisexual right.

Please DNI if: terf/swerf/radfem, ace exclusionist, pro-ana/ed, inc*st shipper. I will block you if you pop up but. Don't <3

If we are mutuals please tag eyestrain and flashing gifs!! Thanks babes

Uhhh idk what this is. It is 10 pm and i am flaring up so ✌ love yall!! Also i am a friendly person i think and love 2 talk to folks so feel free to send asks or dm!

[nako-doodles]

check in tag 😌

tagged by the cutest babes @jaehyukkies @gimbapchefs @taesjpg @joenns @honsool @taehyungq @himbojin @jiminswn & @kimtaegis  mwah! ✨✨

1. Why did you choose your url?

namjoon bought a duck mold, ventured out into a snowy day in winter, and gave me the greatest tweet i have ever seen

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them

the day i gain the ability to wrangle more than one blog ill let yall know

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

*starts calculating time furiously and almost burns out her single braincell* ive been here since like freshman year high school.....so............2010? 2011? ive deleted and restarted like 3 times tho so.........also you can calculate my exact age now (as if I dont have my age on my carrd aiowgjiorajgo)

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no we dont tag we just chaos in this house *finger guns*

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i took a break from tumblr and kpop and then decided I wanted to make a bts blog out of the blue

6. Why did you choose your icon?

i drew all these tiny snow ducks i might as well capitalize on them yknow? really embrace my duck persona (Kim Namjoon witness the person you have made me)

7. Why did you choose your header?

honestly my entire blog brand at this point can be narrowed down to the hour ish (probably) joon spent wrangling snow into duck molds, placing them together for the twt, and captioning them ducktan sonyeondan (im on the look out for new ideas im ready for a change lmk if you have ideas 🥰)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

i think its this post?? of the babies on rollerblades from that one iconic dynamite stage. and on that note tumblr should be able to let me filter based on note count instead of forcing me to rely one my shoddy terrible no good math skills. asking me to compare numbers bigger than 0? despicable. 

9. How many mutuals do you have?

absolutely no fucking clue 🥰🥰🥰 i do love them to the moon (Kim Seokjin) and back tho!!!!

10. How many followers do you have?

ngl its still wild for me that even one of yall follow me thank you 🥺🥺🥺 its a great honor that you have bestowed upon me

11. How many people do you follow?

303 bc I like it when numbers are palindromes and also bc im bad at checking new blogs

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

would like you to direct you to my #shirley you cant be serious.txt tag

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

i try my best to “clean out” my blog (reply to my dms/askbbox, check out my mentions, scroll for new content i may have missed etc.) in the mornings and evenings when i have the time. ive been kinda bad at this lately bc its been hectic here in shirley headquarters but ill get to everyone soon I promise!! (this sounds like bad. its not!!! its just that leaving things stresses me out? like how i like replying to texts as soon as i see them or reply emails as fast as i can. ‘unresolved’ correspondence feels rude.)

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

no im the type to unfollow/block/ignore if someone did or said something i dont agree with without a word

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i get the need for those signal boost posts and promulgating important information but (and this is going to sound selfish) tumblr is my destress zone. i go here when the world is being overwhelming and terrible. i certainly read and educate myself as much as my mental health will let me, and i try my best to promote information and donate whenever i can, but i feel like social media has caused some people here to be too into canceling, managing, and being performative in their ‘wokeness.’ like you HAVE to have a blackout pic on instagram and you HAVE to reblog all these posts and you HAVE to immediately cancel everyone who has ever made a mistake EVER with no nuance or context (or dare i say......humanity). like fighting for human rights and speaking up again racism and bringing attention to societal problems is just a checklist to go down instead of being things you should understand and try to improve? like being ‘unproblematic’ starts and ends with mindlessly reblogging ‘woke’ content. idk sorry for going on a rant. going back to your regularly scheduled lighthearted content in 3...2...1

16. Do you like tag games?

ABSOLUTELY TAG ME IN EVERYTHING PLS AND THANK MWAH

17. Do you like ask games?

ofc!!! i used to do a lot of ask games back in the day but work and the pixel art ive been working on has been eating up all my extra time (and i always feel bad if I leave asks unanswered for too long see: q. 13) i do have that clover moots post saved for when my mental health is up and i have the time to tho!!!! 

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

ngl the idea of being tumblr famous is hilarious to me bc it usually just the same 10 moots who share a braincell bouncing posts back and forth each other, but i do think all my moots are superstars that even class o super giants millions of millions of miles away are turning green w envy 🥰🥰🥰

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

i have a confession i have to make........i have a big phat standing crush on all my moots........its really embarassing............thats its bigger than even tae’s tush or joon’s tits..................pls let me down gently if you dont feel the same................

tagging: @cafejoon @stargazingjin @yoobijin @jinbestboy @jintae @jinv @taemaknae @butterful & anyone who wants to ✨✨

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 1]

Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 2]

A/N: There's 2 parts to this chapter because the post was way long. Part Eighty-Four will be posted tomorrow night. I love yall and hope you enjoy, goodnight!!

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: Explicit language, drug abuse, violence, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, explicit sexual situations

Tag List: @unknownoblivion  @edwardtriggerhandzz  @haileynicoleseavey17  @cierrasixx19  @oskea93  @mgkobsessed  @sharon6713  @itsametaphorbriansblog  @miriampraez  @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx  @rebeccaphillips14  @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie  @emariehorror  @divaanya  @6ixx6ixx  @ratedrkohardychick91  @floregrohlssard  @oldschoolimagineblog  @thanks2pete  @abaldboi  @liith-ium  @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels  @ytwahsog  @scarecrowmax  @random-internet-user-4471  @solohqrry  @sparxx27  @kaitieskidmore1  @cruecifymesixx    @meetthesixxter   @sublimeprincesswasteland  @arianareirg  @gingerspicetalks

@fancywasmyname1  @teller258316  @ggorehorror  @blowinmeupwithherlove  @xrosegoldwolfx  @mylifeisjustafeverdream  @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"The ambulance is on the way." I hear someone say over the noise of the running water and the blood throbbing in my ears from my mind racing. 

My heart feels like it's about to burst, my lungs feel flat, like they don't have the muscle to expand and let me catch my breath. 

Duff's t-shirt that I'm wearing is soaked with freezing cold water, Nikki's grayish-yellow skin now blue… 

We've been trying to get him to wake up. 

Slash is passed out, being knocked out by his girlfriend, Sally, once he realized what was happening and had a drunk meltdown. 

Me, Sally, Duff and Steven get Nikki from the cold shower and get him back in the living room floor, tearing at his shirt and the buttons fly off. 

"Holy shit." Steven says just under his breath as I go to start cpr but I'm stopping when my hands hit something like ice.

I quickly see what it is and I nearly fall back. 

It's my crucifix that I thought I had lost when I left it in Duff's hotel room a couple months ago…

TWELVE HOURS AGO

"Nikki's getting home later than the rest of the guys." Karen informs me as I finish wiping down the kitchen counter. 

"Why?" I ask and she sighs. 

"He told me he missed the flight." 

"Of course he did." I mumble and she sighs. 

"Well, after that stunt he pulled, I'm surprised he's even getting to come home." She states and I furrow my brows. 

"What stunt?"

"Doc didn't tell you?" 

"No?"

"...Nikki and the guys were on a bullet train and something riled Nikki up and he threw a bottle of Jack at a window and it busted and got all over the passengers, then when they got stopped and the cops got ahold of him, Tommy punched one of them so they'd take him, too." She explains. 

Am I surprised, no. Shocked, no. Disappointed, no. Annoyed? Yes. 

"They are so freaking embarrassing." I sneer to myself.

"Oh, the worst part is what he told the police chief, in Doc's words, 'if my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?'" 

I widen my eyes, blinking slowly. 

"He said the man couldn't understand exactly what he said so the translator told him Nikki said he was very sorry and they got off." She adds.

"Of course they did." 

She just looks at me for a moment before letting out a soft breath. 

"Vivian, do you think...even the slightest chance you two can--"

"--If there was a chance, I would've gone to Japan with them." I tell her.

She's quiet. 

"I need to feed the dog." I say to her, dismissively, and as if on cue, Whisky is darting in here. "Hey, baby!" I pipe, excitedly, still feeling Karen's gaze on me before she steps out of the kitchen. "Mommy's trying not to kill Daddy." I tell him, pouring his food in his bowl. "She's really trying."

A couple hours later, I'm putting makeup on to go meet Duff when the phone starts ringing. 

"Hello?" I answer it in the bedroom, sitting on the bed. 

"Hey, beautiful, it's Robbin." I hear from the other side and I roll my eyes, chuckling. 

"Hey, beautiful, what's up?" I reply in the same tone. 

"Nothin'." He replies. "I was wondering if your daddy was home, yet?" He asks in reference to Nikki and I scoff. 

"My father is at home with my mother, probably praying or reading the Bible or secretly listening to The Cult records in the garage." I reply. 

"You know who I'm talking about, c'mon." He laughs. 

"No, Robbin, your boyfriend isn't home yet." I tell him. 

"Do you know when he will be?"

"Not too long from now, probably."

"Well, when he gets in, tell him to gimme a call." 

"I might not be here but I'll leave a note." 

"Where you going?" He asks. 

"Out."

"With who?" 

"Robbin."

"Why don't you ever come see me anymore? I haven't hung out with you in months." 

"Because I don't party and that's all you like to do at night." 

"Well, bring your ass with Sixx when he comes tonight."

"Robbin--"

"--Please, for me?" 

"I'll think about it, alright?" 

"Okay, just don't forget to get him to call me." He reminds me and I nod.

"I will."

"See you later...maybe." 

"Later."

We hang up and I groan and fall back on the bed, looking at myself in the mirrored ceiling, before calling Duff to postpone our plans by a couple hours so I can go hangout with Nikki and Robbin.

Once I'm dressed, I fall back on the bed, waiting for Nikki to get in…

I turn over on my stomach and reach for the little radio clock on his side of the bed, my finger pulling the switch on. 

Dopey Christmas music filters through the room and I turn it back off, sighing. 

Whisky jumps up on the bed with me and I sit up so he doesn't lick my makeup off, giggling at his happy-go-lucky demeanor, but something's off in his eyes. 

"He'll be back tonight, baby." I promise, scratching at his chin. "I miss him, too, you know? I know that's hard to believe but I do." I admit to him and he blinks at me. "And if you tell anybody, I won't give you table scraps anymore." I add, the corners of my mouth tugging. 

I kiss his head, leaving a smudge of lipstick and I wince, forgetting I even had the stuff on. 

"Oops." I go to the bathroom and get a wet washcloth, srubbing it off his fur as best as a I can. 

That's when I hear the door open and slam, and I exhale, standing up, tossing the cloth aside and peeking my head out of the bedroom door to see if it's Karen or Nikki. 

"Hey," I say to him and he looks at me. 

He looks like absolute hell. 

"You can stop looking at me like that." He mumbles and I try to speak but can't find the words. 

"Sorry." I finally get it out and he goes to the bathroom and shuts the door. 

I hear the shower start and I thank God because he smells horrendous. 

I light a few scented candles while he's in there, trying to clear out the smell. 

Then I try to search his suitcase for drugs, to no avail. 

"I threw them out before I got to the airport." He says and I freeze up, sighing when he reaches past me and grabs the suitcase, tugging it to the floor before grabbing at my waist, making me turn around to face him. 

I just try to keep my expression neutral, not knowing if he's in a mood or not. 

"You smell better." I tell him to avoid an awkward silence as we're uncomfortably close. 

"Yeah, so do you." He replies and I roll my eyes, about to move out of his grasp. "Wait, wait, no, no, c'mere." He grabs at me tighter, holding me still, chuckling boyishly and I give a sharp breath. 

"You're high," I state, trying to nudge him away from me to give me some space. 

"Hey, I'm being nice." His expression shifts, eyes cutting at me, mouth snarling. 

"Nikki--"

"--No, when I'm pissed you get bitchy and when I'm in a good mood you get bitchy. You're just a fucking bitch. Always have been. Always will be." He snatches himself away, kicking the suitcase out of his way. 

"I'd rather be a bitch than a junkie." I reply as he goes to the bathroom and he's turning around in milliseconds. 

"Fuck you!" He shouts, grabbing my jaw, forcing my back down to the mattress, "fuck you, you condescending, manipulative, evil little witch!" He barks in my face and I keep myself as calm as I can, not wanting to make it worse. 

I shouldn't have even called him a junkie to begin with. 

I knew how he'd react. 

"Don't you ever call me that again, Vivian, do you fucking understand me?! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of your shit and your endless whining when I started shooting up because of you in the first fucking place and I keep shooting up just to escape from the reality that I'm fucking married to a twisted, sick, sneaky cunt like you!" 

My eyes water, a lump in my throat…

"Then divorce me." I let out weakly, my voice cracking. "If I'm so awful then just leave me, Nikki." 

He looks at me, tears in his own eyes, before he gets off of me and goes to the bathroom to finish getting ready. 

NIKKI

I thought couldn't do that. Even when I was miserable with her, I was in love with her. That's contradictory to how I acted and treated her but it wasn't necessarily an endless doting, constant lovey-dovey, in love, thing. It was a poisonous, constant merry-go-round and anytime I would try to get off she'd pull me on again without even realizing it. She'd wear a hot dress, or laugh, or smile, or do something for me, or just say 'Nikki', and fuck, I'd be on her again. The Duff thing wasn't even on my mind that night. I got home, saw she was there, went inside and saw her and it took everything in me not to fall to my fucking knees...only for her to call me a junkie. I shouldn't have grabbed her like that, but at that point I was tired of the going around and around, spinning, dizzy, exhausted from puking...she wouldn't leave me. So I was trying to scare her off. 

I realized after my overdose that there was no scaring her off. She was as sick as I was, she needed help like I did, and until we got it we would still be on the ride. That's when I filed for divorce. I thought of it as my final, "I love you," because I really did it for her, knowing she wouldn't file after I OD'd. We were torturing ourselves at that point. We both needed to just get away from one another. And we did.

"You coming or not, Vivian, c'mon!" I call into the house when the car gets here, rolling my eyes as she takes her sweet, precious time, deliberately, staring me in the eye as she slowly steps to the door, her brow raised, red lips keeping restraint from curling at the sight of me. 

When she walks past, I'm tempted to rear back and hit her ass as hard as my hand can muster, just to see her look at me with her unamused, pissy little look she gives me when I'm being an asshole. 

We get in the back of the limo and she sits as far away from me as possible. 

It's silent on the way to town, the light flittering, through the windows in the back cast light over her face every now and then...we'd be in the floor tearing at clothes by now if this was three years ago. 

Fuck.

How the hell did we go from not getting enough of each other to fucking despising each other? 

Again, like I've been doing all year, I remind myself it's because I fucked up with Vanity.

I hope she doesn't tell Vivian I called her in Japan...It's  like I really miss her or anything, I was just lonely and Vivian wasn't taking my calls. 

She was under Duff, the demon in my ear laughs out and I look at Vivian again, seeing her quickly look away from me as if she'd get caught for staring. 

I wonder what she's thinking about right now...I wonder if she really has been with Duff this whole I haven't been home. 

Not that I have room to bitch, I spent my whole time in Japan with my head in drugs--which might as well be a fucking mistress. 

I give her one last glance before clearing my throat and leaning my head back to rest my eyes for a moment. 

Soon, we stop, and the door flings open, Robbin, Slash, some chick, and Steven all pile in, Vivian scooting over so there's more room for everyone to sit. 

I go to the other window, letting Slash and the girl I'm assuming is with him get beside me. 

Vivian's between Robbin and Steven, and it's evident they've been having some fun before meeting us. 

"Sixx!" Robbin lets out, kicking the seat I'm in.

"King!" I reply, kicking his seat, and he chuckles. 

"How was Japan?" He asks, rubbing his nose. 

"I barely remember." I admit with a laugh and he joins me, nodding. 

"Nikki, this is Sally." Slash tells me next and I lean over him to see her. 

She's pretty hot. 

"Nice to meet you." She tells me.

She's Scottish...interesting. 

I hear Vivian giggle and I peek out the corner of my eye and see Robbin whispering something in her ear, and she elbows him, jokingly. 

"You are, just saying." He says to her and she rolls her eyes. "Just get more and more beautiful the longer I go without seeing you." He adds. 

"Shut up." She nudges him. 

"You are." He chuckles. 

"Sleepy is what I am." She states as Steven tells me something, and I try to hear him, but I'm too focused on what Robbin's going on about. 

"Here," he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a baggie of coke, grabbing his keys and getting some on the tip of it, holding it up to her nose. 

She wrinkles her nose and shoos him away. 

"No, no, no." She shakes her head. 

"C'mon."

"No." She keeps her voice light but stern and he lowers it and looks at her with a smirk on his lips. 

Next thing I know, she's laughing out, "Robbin, stop," while King's dumping the dab of coke on the smooth skin of her tit that's pushed up slightly in her strapless dress. 

She squeals and laughs as he snorts it off, I guess because the scratch of his five o'clock shadow tickles or she just gets off on making me mad, then he starts quickly trailing little kisses up her cheek to her ear and she tries to put her ear to her shoulder, laughing more when his other hand tickles at her stomach…he's nearly got her laid out on the seat. 

My foot makes contact with his stomach and I'm nearly barking when I say, "sit your ass down, Robbin," sharply, making it clear I'm not bullshitting him.

"I was just playing, Sixx, damn." He sniffles, wiping his nose.  

"You don't 'play' like that." I throw at him. 

An intense silence falls over all of us and Vivian just brushes what's left of the coke off of her chest and straightens her dress before giving him a soft, reassuring smile. 

Great. Is she fucking him, too? 

When we get to the Cathouse, Vivian stays close to Steven and eventually Sally when the two of them warm up to each other. 

We make it up to V.I.P. and Viv makes a point to try to avoid sitting beside me. 

But I wait for her to sit and I'm sitting right beside her with a smug smirk while she glares at me. 

"What's wrong, baby?" I lean into her ear and ask over the loud music and she just shakes her head. 

I pat myself on the back when she eventually gets up, mumbling about the bathroom, and leaves us. 

After a few (several) lines of blow, I head to the bathroom to piss, deciding to stop by the women's restroom to see what the hell Vivian's doing. 

She probably snuck out of the window. 

I hear the very faint but distinct sound of Vivian crying, guilt stabbing at me. 

I think I took it too far earlier when I called her those shitty things. 

I just go to the men's bathroom and splash my face with water, the buzzing of coke beginning to numb my mind, thoughts of my imploding marriage, band, and life, being locked up and discarded into a black sea of, "it can wait." 

One thing is retrieved, though, thrown a life line and brought back from the depths. 

I look at myself in the mirror, staring myself down as if saying, "don't you fucking do it." 

Once the high kicks in, I can just feel Sikki scrape me from control, locking me away momentarily. 

Next thing I know, I'm standing in the women's bathroom, Vivian still sniffling in the stall...I don't think she knows I'm in here. 

"I got you this far, you fuck." The demon snarls in my ear.

I swallow and clear my throat, making Vivian go silent. 

"Viv, what the fuck's wrong, now?" I ask and she sighs, staying quiet. 

"Nothing, Nikki." She says and I scoff, rubbing my jaw. 

"It's clearly not 'nothing' because I heard you blubbering the past ten minutes." I point out and she opens the stall, door, looking me dead in the eye before pushing past me. 

"A lot on my mind, alright?" She mumbles, going to the sink and I lean against the stall, crossing my arms. 

"Like what?" 

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki." She tells me, trying to wipe the smeared mascara away. 

"Well, I can't read your mind, Vivian, so if you're upset with me about something th--"

Her head hangs low, a small sob coming from her throat, tears dropping into the sink, her hands white-knuckling the side of the porcelain…

"I'm upset with you about everything." She admits to me, sorrow lacing her words. 

I haven't seen her like this since Vanity aired our dirty laundry out. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you act like--" she cuts herself off, and I realize she's referring to me telling her I loved her while I was in Japan. 

"Where were you, Vivian?" I ask her out of nowhere, getting defensive. 

"Where was I?" She turns to look at me, wiping her tears, rolling her jaw. "Where were you?" She snaps at me. "Where have you been the last four years?" She asks me. 

"I'm not doing this shit here." I grumble, turning to go. 

"You asked me what was wrong, Nikki, and I'm telling you what's wrong because you asked--"

"--I also asked where you've been while I've been out of town, Vivian!" I turn on my heel, snarling. 

"I've been at home, Nikki!" She yells back. "I've been here, and I've been here for six years! Thinking you'd be right here with me but you're not! That's what's wrong! I've wasted six years of my life on someone who--" 

"--You wasted six years of your life?!" I laugh out humorlessly. "How the fuck do you think I feel? How many things I've missed out on because, 'oh, nah, my wife wouldn't like that'?!" I scream. 

"Must not have been too bad because you sure as hell weren't passing up the opportunity to have a year and half long affair with Vanity!" She wretches and it takes everything in me not to tell her I know about her little thing she has going with Duff. 

"Ya know what, I felt bad for calling you an evil bitch and a cunt earlier but fuck it, you are." I reach for the door and I feel something hit at my back, her heel hitting the floor by my boots. 

I turn at glare at her, her emerald eyes lined black, thick lashes blinking slowly, lips parted slightly as she takes in a heavy breath.

I take a step to her, then another and she steps back to the sink. 

When our lips meet, I'm putting her on the sink, wasting no time to get her dress pushed up her legs. 

"Wait, wait, wait," she gasps out, nudging me away while I unbuckle my belt. 

I catch my breath as she gets off the sink and turns around, looking at me in the mirror. 

I just lift her dress and bend her over, pulling her panties to the side before--

"God, you are so high." She grumbles, pulling me from my imagination, picking her heel up and shoving past me.

Damn her. 

I follow after her back to the guys, and within another hour, once she realizes she's just going to be babysitting us--since she's not fun enough to participate in the coke, pills, and booze--she stands up.

"I'm about to head home." She tells us, and the boys groan. 

"Oh, c'mon, Viv!" Steven complains as she leans down to hug him and tell him bye. 

"I'm tired, Stevie." She states, chuckling, wrapping her arms around Slash's neck from behind him, and he pats her hand. 

"See ya," he tells her. 

"Bye." She says. "It was nice to meet you." She says to Sally, next. 

"You, too." Sally replies. 

"C'mere, c'mere, c'mere!" Robbin calls over the music and she raises a brow and stand behind him, leaning over to see what he wants. 

He just grabs her hand and puts it over his heart. 

"You feel that?" He asks her. 

"Yeah, it feels like you're about to go into cardiac arrest." She comments. 

"It's because of you." He dopily replies and she rolls her eyes and pushes at his chest, shaking her head. 

"You're a mess." She tells him and he kisses the top of her hand. 

"Goodnight, Viv, it was good to see you again." He tells her. 

"It was good to see you, too." She replies, smiling, before pulling away. "Bye, Nikki." She says to me in passing. 

"Fuck you, too!" I call after her as she heads to the stairs. 

The next time I'd see her, she'd be trying to help Sally, Duff, and Steven resuscitate me, and eventually trying to throw herself from the balcony in an attempt to not be left behind while I moved on to where ever the hell we go when we die, begging me not to leave her. I didn't, thanks to adrenaline...but even if I did die, if I had anything to do with it, I still wouldn't have left her.

[savedbybangtan]

Let Me Love You

Summary: She lucked out one too many times. Luckily, Jimin was there to ‘save’ her.

2,916 words

Warning tags: smut, dubcon, stalking, possessive, unprotected sex (wrap it up yall), slight yandere?

                                         Let Me Love You

Food.

Water.

 Death.

 Three things immediately popped out in your mind that you begged for, that you needed.

These days, the pain in your body didn’t even allow you the few seconds to fantasize that you were in your parent’s home on a weekend morning where you did not have any work today. The pain was too great for you to ignore so that, as soon as you woke up, you were reminded of your grim premise.

You open your eyes, too tired and weak to be disgusted by the scent of yourself, vomit, and reliefs that were soaked into the naked mattress in the floor. There were two small windows on one wall, short and almost reaching the ceiling indicating that you were in a basement, but sunlight never shined through them. They were being blocked from the outside.

Footsteps could be heard on through the thin ceiling. It sounded as if he were entertaining guests with given the thumps of the music and feet.

If you called out right now, you may be able to alert one of the guests to help you out this situation.

You knew it wouldn’t make any sense. He would find you. Besides, your throat was too weak to make any sound above a hoarse whisper and the music was too loud.

Someone opens the door (the only entrance to the basement) that sat on top of a long staircase. Dim lights filtered in and you squinted at it, sensitive to the light.

The door is closed but you made out the silhouette before you were engulfed in darkness again.

“Hi, sweetheart. I’m entertaining upstairs – so I can’t stay for long – but I really missed you and wanted to see you,” you heard the angelic voice apologise to you.

“…min…Ji-min…” you managed to hoarse out.

“What is it, baby?”

“Thirsty.”

“Already? I just gave you water and food two days ago,” he chuckled. I couldn’t see him, but I could tell he had that wicked glimmer in his eye that did not go with those rose powdered cheeks he sported by now.

He walked to a corner of the room, far from where your chain would allowed you to reach, if you were even able to walk. The light from the fridge illuminated his outfit. He wore a black turtleneck, black jeans and of course, black boots. When you had first met him at that bar, he wore the same colour palette. If you only knew.

He came back with a bottle of water that he poured slowly into your mouth as you drank in large gulps.

“What do you want to eat,” he asked sweetly – the same tone he used when he asked what you were drinking that night.

You hesitate to answer.

“I can promise you I will probably have anything you ask of me. I know all of your favourite foods and bought them.”

                                                            🌃

The blue and lime green lights darted manically about the bar. It was loud and filled with cigar, weed, cigarette, and hookah smoke. The scent, four gin and juices, and bottle of wine (that was finished before you even entered the club) had you feeling free. You didn’t want to think of your dumb boyfriend who broke up with you because of a few male friends you kept.

You didn’t want to think about your so called “friends” who had taken his side.

You definitely didn’t want to think about how you were fired, yet again, for rejecting the advances of yet another coworker. They tell you to report the matter to HR, but you believed in an eye for an eye. Someone who smacks someone’s ass should get smacked across their face – not relocated to another desk.

You danced crudely to the music, obviously drunk.

It wasn’t safe for a girl, wearing such a revealing and tight lavender dress to go out by herself. Especially not in this crowd.

Still, you needed to get lost in a crowd of people and let loose. You were sick of your parents breathing down your neck about moving out now that you finished college and secured another job. There was no way you were telling them how you were fired again. You needed to get out of the house.

The upbeat tune of Raising Hell by Ke$ha was exchanged for the smooth beat of BMO by Ari Lennox. You were too drunk for this song. You started to slowly grind your hips into the air, trying to mimic the moves of an exotic dancer.

A pair of soft hands grabbed you by the waist and danced against you, obviously having trouble trying to keep your nonexistent rhythm.

It was hot.

His hands were all over you. You glanced back and saw juicy lips that you suddenly wanted to kiss, but you were already short of breath. As if the final ounces of alcohol had finally ran through your bloodstream, the room swayed and it got dark.

“Shit,” you heard someone say. You couldn’t tell if it came from you or him.

You felt yourself being dragged away, too weak and too inebriated to care.

Before you could even reach an exit, you passed out.

You woke up and could tell you were in a moving vehicle. You saw the same stranger driving, but that “new car” scent put you back to sleep.

You woke up to the sound of keys jingling about, you noticed that this was not your house and that the man carrying you was that same stranger from the club. “Hey! Where are you taking me!” You slurred, fighting the urge to pass out once more.

You shouldn’t have estimated the power of that wine you drank in one sitting.

He flashes you a perfect smile that oozed excitement. “I’m taking you home, y/n.”

“This isn’t my…home.” You let the darkness engulf you as it was getting too hard to fight.

You were too drunk to question how he knew your name.

Minutes, hours, or days passed before you woke up in a crisp, white bedroom.

You spat some of your hair out of your mouth.

With a stretch, you take in your surroundings.

What happened last night? The last thing you truly remembered was chatting up the handsome bartender.

You scratched your head and that’s when you realise you were in nothing but a large tank top, obviously male.

Fuck!

Not again, you thought. You can’t believe you were in this situation again.

You spotted a bathroom through the open door and ran into it. There were no love marks on your skin. Your make up was removed pretty well and the clothes you wore last night were folded neatly on top of the counter, including your panties which you found a little embarrassing, imagining someone folding them.

You slowly brought your hand to your entrance, feeling for any kind of tenderness or fluids that would indicate anything out of the ordinary.

If something did happen, at least they weren’t rough.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything to you. I didn’t want our first time to be like that.”

You removed your hand and spun to look at the owner of the voice.

Who the hell was this? You eyed him wearily.

Ignoring your glare, he spoke again, “I washed your clothes for you! They might be uncomfortable, so you can wear my shirt instead if you like.”

“Um, do you mind telling me who you are?” I couldn’t sense any danger from the angelically handsome silver haired man who spoke to you so innocently.

“Oh, I’m Jimin. Park Jimin. I’m 25 and I work as a police officer.”

“I meant, why am I here?”

“You fell out in the middle of the dance floor last night.”

“Why?”

He laughed again, turning his eyes into little upwards crescents. “I think that’s enough questions before we eat. I cooked breakfast. Its downstairs. Come down once you’re done in here.”

With that, he left.

Oh, he’s a police. That explained why he would bring me home. He felt the need to serve and protect. You were lucky this time, but this will have to be the last time you go out drinking alone. You quickly chucked off his tank top and got dressed in the same clothes as last night. You were indifferent to the walk of shame by now. Walking outside in club attire in broad daylight was bound to catch a few stares, but you didn’t care what people think.

You searched for your shoes and realized he probably had them downstairs.

By the time you gotten down and found the kitchen, he was just about to sit down.

“Look, I really want to thank you for saving me. Something really bad could have happened last night. I tend to have this self-destructive streak about me that I can’t quite shake off, but I promised myself this would be the last time I pass out from drinking.”

He smiled at your words. “That’s great. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you are never that careless again. Please, have breakfast.”

“Oh no, you’re too kind. I’ve already bothered you enough.”

“Come on, now, Y/n. I’ve already cooked it. I don’t want to waste it.”

You shrug and sat. “Fine, if you insist.” You start to dig in immediately. It was amazing and settled your stomach. You could already feel the hangover nausea kicking in.

You horsebacked the rest of the hot tea and stood abruptly. “Thank you so much! That was really delicious. I hope one day I can repay your kindness.”

All of the joy in his eyes dissipated as you moved to leave, but you didn’t notice.

“Can you tell me where my shoes are?”

“How about you stay for a while longer?”

“I couldn’t possibly.”

“Are your parents waiting back for you?”

“No, I tend to not even come home most weekends and- wait,” you stopped, eyeing him suspiciously thinking it was weird that he assumed you lived with your parents although you were obviously an adult. “I’m a grown woman, you know. I may act like a teen, getting drunk like that, but I’m 21. I can do what I want.”

“And you were fired recently, meaning you don’t have anything better to do, right? Please, stay with me.”

Revelation.

Before you thought to wit your way out of danger, you stammer.

“How did you know I was fired from my job?” You started to slowly back away.

If you were not in the current predicament, you might have noticed how beautiful and genuine his smile was. “Oops, looks like I blew my cover! I guess I can drop the façade. I love you, y/n. I had for a while now, but I couldn’t talk to you because I know someone boring like me wouldn’t stand a chance.” His eyes furrowed in mock sorrow, but those plump, tempting lips pulled into smile. “If you’re good, I’ll let you stay in the house…I really do not intend to hurt you.”

He reached and arm out for you slowly, but you evaded his touch as if he was fire. “Let me out of here! You stalker!” You dashed to what you assumed to be the front door with the crooked cop trailing behind you slowly.

“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n!”

You looked back for a moment as you grab frenetically for the door handle. He waltzed toward you with his hands in his pockets. He had on his uniform, the only thing missing was the hat and shirt.

Clammy hands finally got the door open and you charged through it without taking your eyes off the monster behind you. Even when you fell down the stairs, you did not turn your neck to see that the door you took so long to open was your personal gateway to hell.

Instead of seeing the bright lights of morning, you are greeted with darkness. When your eyes adjusted, you realised that it’s a basement.

“FUCK!!!” You screamed in agony clutching your broken leg.

Park Jimin tutted and cooed toward you. “See what you did to yourself? I told you that I don’t want to hurt you. Let me see…” He reached out for your leg but you pull away from him quickly, the action eliciting a groan from you. “Hey, I’m trying to help.”

“Then take me to a fucking hospital!”

“You probably don’t even need one. The fall wasn’t that high. It was about seven steps. I took a course in first aid.” His voice was something lethal. How was he so calm with you shouting at him? You gave him your leg.

Gently, in his crouched position, he rotated your leg, massaging it to assess where it had broken. “Shh, shhh, shhh, its okay,” he cooed at you mindlessly. With a deep gulp and wide eyes, he warned, “Suck in your breath…” You did as he said, in too much pain to argue. “It’ll take a sec…” He snapped your leg again with a grueling sound similar to a branch breaking from a tree during a hurricane.

You screamed.

And screamed,

And screamed,

And blacked out from pain.