#i wish i could help you more concretely anon

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

vibes have NOT improved 3 hours later -_-

[ardenrosegarden]

What was Bertha de Cornouaille's second marriage like? From what I can tell her first marriage doesn't seem to have been very good (although she outlived him, slay!) but im a bit confused about her second

Lmao yeah, slay indeed, get that Honour of Richmond 💪💯 At the end of the day I have to respect the grind even if it sounds like her time in England was a bit rough :')

As for Bertha's second marriage, that also seems to be quite murky, she was rarely (from what I can tell) acting very independently (the only known charter we have of hers is from her time in England), so it's hard to get a clear picture from the little information we have how she may have felt about Eudon.

On one hand, it could have been a pretty politically advantageous marriage- Porhoët was pretty expansive, which is kind of important if you're concerned about a potential power vacuum destabilizing your family. Unfortunately that call kind of came from inside the house.

I've seen some writers claim that when Eudon and Conan IV fell out, she took Eudon's side and others claim the opposite, so it's hard to get an idea of where she would have been in all of this. I tend to lean more to the latter opinion, given the commentary from Judith Everard and Sara McDougall which suggest that Conan III's decision to make Bertha his heir instead of her brother was a cooperative family effort to increase their family's influence, which to me colors how she may have seen Eudon's grab for power.

On the other hand, Eudon was claiming Brittany in the name of the daughter he had with Bertha (Alix), so I can also understand on there being some messiness for Bertha on a personal level if she felt she had to choose between her daughter and son's livelihood.

[puckinghischier]

Fallen

Nico Hischier x fem!reader

summary: part 2 to falling

notes: hello!!! considering it’s after midnight, i’m giving you guys a gift for my birthday. this was very fun to write and i continue to just make myself sad that i don’t have a nico in my life. i hope you enjoy! happy reading! 🫶🏼

this is unedited!!

request: anon requested a part 2 to falling

[4.9k]

“I really wish you’d let me carry something, Neeks,” you whine out, pressing the button to call the elevator down to the parking garage.

“Nope. I’m perfectly capable of carrying your groceries on my own,” Nico dramatically swings the reusable shopping bags over his shoulder, walking a few feet away before turning and striking a pose.

Your laugh echoes around the concrete garage, amused at his theatrics.

It’s been about three weeks since your accident at the rink, and Nico hasn’t left your side since. As long as he’s in Jersey, that is.

After that first night he’s only really left your apartment to either go to practice and games, or to sleep. Sometimes even the latter not being true, considering there’s been a few nights he’s crashed on your couch after late-night movie sessions or particularly rough games.

During your follow up appointment your doctor told you to keep the sling on for a few more weeks, not wanting to add any unnecessary strain to the healing muscles in your shoulder. After you told Nico the sling was here to stay, he insisted he was going to, literally, be your right-hand man.

You were also told, as long as you and the sling are one, going to work is on your list of restricted activities. So is any form of strenuous activity, lifting anything over ten pounds, and whatever else Nico deems unsafe for you to do. Like carrying your groceries.

Nico has shown up at your apartment every morning with a cup of coffee, either bringing you breakfast or offering to cook for you. He takes his post-practice and pre-game naps on your couch in case you need him to do anything for you. After home games he shows up with takeout and candy, keeping you company while you’re stuck in your apartment day after day.

When he’s on the road he enlisted the help of Jesper’s girlfriend, Nicole, to come over and check on you at least once a day. Anytime he’s playing in a different state, no matter where he is, he always manages to have dinner delivered to your house, making sure you’re not stuck eating microwave meals and simple dinners, thanks to your limited cooking ability and lack of being able to drive at the moment.

Before he has to leave for stretch of away games, he always makes sure he takes you to the grocery store, stocking your pantry and fridge to make sure you have everything you need while he’s gone. He calls you every chance he has on the road, wanting to check on you and how you’re feeling while keeping you up on the team happenings, knowing how eager you are to get back to work.

Today is one of his ‘preparation’ days, as you’ve dubbed them. He showed up this morning with a coffee and a bagel, cut into quarters instead of in halves, so the insides wouldn’t slip out of the other side when you tried to take a one-handed bite. He did your dishes and folded your laundry for you while you showered, twisting your hair into one of his trademark braids after you were dressed before ushering you out of your apartment, claiming the two of you had errands to run.

The first errand on his list was taking you to the rink, a satisfied feeling settling over him when he saw the large smile on your face when he told you he asked if you could sit in on practice today. You were practically buzzing with excitement, not having been at the rink since the day of your fall. You had grown to love the sport of hockey during your time at your job. Missing the chill of the air, the sound of pucks sliding across the ice and the scrape of their skates as the players come to a stop.

Several of the players slide over to the bench where you sit, just as excited to see you as you are to see them.

Jack and Luke come over first, telling you how ready they are for you to be back, having given themselves the job of Puck Police, ensuring that all of the pucks are cleared out of the skate path leading towards the benches.

Jesper, Timo, and Holtzy tell you how much they miss the jokes you would tell them so they would quit mean mugging and actually smile during arrival pictures.

Dawson, Johnny, and Curtis joined the gathered group, bringing you a card that everyone from the team had signed. It was a giant novelty card, clearly custom made, considering there was a picture of the whole team on the front, the inside reading “Sorry you fell over our pucks. We feel really pucking bad about it.”

You were doubled over in laughter the entire time the team spent chatting with you before their practice officially started, fulling understanding the sentiment that laughter is the best medicine. You were even able to give the young girl filling in for you some pointers, helping her adjust the settings on the camera for different shots, happy you were able to sneak in a little bit of work to your visit.

After practice was over and Nico was showered and ready to go, the two of you went out for lunch at a small café just down the street from the rink, their large bakery selection immediately catching your eye. You ended up having cake for lunch, telling Nico to mind his own business when he asked if you wanted any ‘real’ food.

Once lunch was over, he took you to the grocery store, helping you pick out ready made meals and a few other essentials before bringing you back to your apartment, where you were currently witnessing Nico’s wannabe model moves.

Once the elevator lifts you to your floor, you walk over and unlock your door, leaving it open behind you for Nico to walk through, following you straight to your kitchen to put away your groceries.

You grab a box of cereal, setting it down on the counter before reaching up to open your cabinet door. Just as you’re reaching up to place the box on the shelf, you hear something fall, a bottle of water slipping off of one of the shelves in your fridge. You jump slightly, trying to turn your body at the same time, the sudden movement pinching one of the nerves in your shoulder, causing you to let out a hiss.

Nico immediately clocked the displeased noise, jerking his body into a standing position and walking over towards you.

“Are you okay? What happened? Did you try to lift this up with your bad arm?” he asks you, arms hovering around your frame, eyes glued your slinged shoulder.

You finish pushing the cardboard box onto the shelf, closing the wooden cabinet door.

Rolling your arm a bit, you turn to face Nico.

“I’m fine. Just jumped a little and it caught my shoulder in a funny way, I guess. No big deal, just more uncomfortable than anything,” you assure him.

He narrows his eyes at you, trying to gauge if you’re lying to him or not.

Narrowing your eyes back at him, you pull a face at him.

He backs up, laughing, seemingly convinced you’re fine.

Walking back over to finish placing the several salad kits you bought in the fridge, Nico starts talking with his head fully inside of your fridge.

“So, we leave out around six tonight and I won’t be back until late Friday night,” he tells you, meaning he’ll be gone almost four full days, considering today is Monday. “Nicole offered to stay over here if you wanted her to, incase you needed to go anywhere.”

You’ve gained a friend in Nicole through this whole process, enjoying her company. You didn’t have many girl friends in the city, your job taking up the majority of your time. Nico was the person you spent the most time with, even before these past few weeks, but you occasionally tagged along to outings with the team, growing close to Jack, Luke, Timo, and Jesper, too. You figure that’s why Nico chose to ask Nicole to help out, seeing as you’d spent some time with her during celebratory bar nights and get togethers at Nico’s apartment.

The two of you were friendly before, but now you would consider yourself good friends, going out to lunch together and watching bad reality tv during the day when she would come over. She even helped you do your skincare routine one night before bed, giving you different tips and tricks on the order of application. It felt like you were in middle school again having a sleepover with your best friend.

“I might take her up on that. I think there’s new episodes of The Circle on Netflix. We could binge them while eating ice cream!” your eyes light up with an idea.

Nico laughs and shakes his head at you while shutting your fridge door.

“I really don’t understand your obsession with these awful shows. Jesper and I were talking about how we wouldn’t be surprised if the two of you signed up for your own spot on one soon.”

The thought of Nico talking about you when Jesper is talking about Nicole makes your brain stutter for a moment.

You can’t deny that your new found feelings for Nico have continued to develop during the time he’s spent being your self-appointed helper. His insistence on being your personal chauffer, showing up every day like clockwork, even going as far to tell the media team the alternate captains are going to have to do post-game media for home games until you’re back to work causes your feelings to grow each day.

You haven’t told your mom about the arrangement with Nico, not wanting to get her hopes up, still not entirely convinced Nico isn’t just being nice. The two of you haven’t shared any intense moments like the first night he braided your hair, now the braiding sessions being filled with small talk and laughter.

Hearing that Nico is bringing you up when Jesper is talking about his own girlfriend, however, sparks a seed of hope in you.

“And if we do, you and Jesper can be our cheerleaders from the other side,” you tell him, sticking your tongue out.

When Nico finishes putting away the rest of your groceries, he takes the reusable bag and returns it to its hiding spot under the sink.

At this point, Nico knows your apartment as well as you do. He knows where all of your dishes go, because he unloads your dishwasher and washes anything by hand that won’t fit. He knows where all of your clothes go in your room, helping you wash, fold, and put away your laundry – with the exception of your underwear, he hasn’t earned access to that drawer yet. He knows where everything in your bathroom is, having to take a shower one morning after he crashed on the couch. He even knows which junk drawer has which random items in it.

You’ve become so comfortable with Nico being here, it’s like a tiny part of you doesn’t want your arm to heal, just so he has to continue coming over and playing roommate.

Nico walks over and leans against your stove, facing you.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine while I’m gone? It’s the longest stretch of away games we’ve had since your fall.”

He looks genuinely worried, the thought causing a familiar swirl in your belly.

“I’ll be fine, Neeks. This thing comes off next week anyways,” you lift the arm in your sling for emphasis. “I’m going to have to get used to you being gone again, anyways. This week will be like a practice run.”

You catch the way Nico’s eyes just slightly fall. If you weren’t always paying attention to his beautiful eyes, you would’ve missed it, perking up just as quickly as they fell.

“God, finally. Thought I’d have to be your maid forever,” he exaggerates his words, making a big show of rolling his eyes and throwing his arms up above his head.

“Oh shut it, you love hanging out with me,” you step towards him, wagging your finger in his face.

He tilts his head, pretending to think about your words. “Yeah, I guess you’re pretty good company,” he reaches out, grabbing the finger a few inches from his nose.

The two of you stand there, his hand not letting go of your finger, letting it drop in-between your bodies.

His lips fall from his wide smile, slightly separated as he stares at you.

Feeling the energy shift, you stare back at him, not knowing what exactly is happening. Neither one of you have spoken for a solid minute now, your finger still trapped in his hand.

Your eyes flick down to his pink lips, and back up to his eyes. He darts his tongue out to lick his dry lips, unable to move your gaze from them this time. Thinking about what his lips would feel like on yours, the alarm bells start going off in your head.

Clearing your throat and stepping back, you break the moment, not knowing what else to do.

Nico drops your finger, bringing a hand up to run through his long hair, looking away from your face.

Was he thinking about kissing you like you were thinking about kissing him? Would you have really let him? Why did you interrupt the moment? You like him you idiot!

When Nico pushes himself off of your stove, you start ignoring the voice in your head.

“I need to get going. Still need to stop by my place and grab a few things before heading to the rink,” he says, still refusing to meet your eye. “I’ll, uh, call you when we get there, like usual, okay?”

Nodding at him you reply with a “Yeah, sounds good.”

“Alright. Good. I’ll see you in a few days?” he walks over to you, hands twitching at his sides like he wants to give you a hug, but doesn’t know if he should.

You eliminate the space between you, wrapping him up in a hug. “Sounds perfect. Play safe.”

He hugs your body to his for a few more moments before letting go, a small “Bye” leaving his mouth before he grabs his keys off of your kitchen table and exits your apartment with a wave.

You stand in your kitchen thinking about your interaction, deciding a phone call to your mother was needed.

———————————————————————————

Grabbing the bowl of freshly popped popcorn, you walk back over to your living room and plop down next to Nicole.

Tonight was the night the boys are supposed to be getting back from their road trip. Since they weren’t supposed to be getting back until late tonight, you decided to spend the evening watching some of your favorite rom coms to pass the time.

Nicole always said waiting for Jesper to get home on the day of was the worst, because she knows its so close but the time always seems to drag. You surprisingly understood, the past week feeling like the longest of your life without Nico’s presence around your apartment.

After your phone call with your mom the other night, you allowed yourself to realize you want to be with Nico. Your confession to her that you did actually have feelings for the hockey player earned a squeal of joy and an extremely enthusiastic “I told you so!”

Talking with your mom about his actions throughout your whole accident and healing process really opened your eyes to how long you’ve really had feelings for him. You weren’t completely blind, finding Nico attractive from the very beginning, but you hadn’t really let yourself go all the way. Preventing yourself from getting your hopes up and embarrassing yourself, you kept using the excuse of him just being nice to justify why there were no feelings involved in your friendship.

You realized what a load of bullshit that was, though, considering how often you found yourself calling him to tell him good news whenever you received any. Or wanting to have a movie night anytime you were upset or sad, knowing your mood would improve the second Nico walked through your door. Or all the times at the bar when you would ignore men’s advances, wanting to just spend time talking with Nico the whole night.

Your mom recounted all the times she knew, once again marking that first time he helped you on the ice as the moment. She’s still not able to convince you that it was then, considering you and Nico didn’t even really know each other then.

Thinking back on your phone call with your mom made you think about how you hadn’t heard from Nico in a while, pulling your phone out to see if he had given you any update on where they were.

Nicole threw a handful of popcorn at you, fussing at you to pay attention to the movie and that they’ll be home when they’re home. You surrendered to her wishes and placed your phone face down on the coffee table in front of you.

Your third movie of the night was about halfway over when you heard a key turning in the lock on your door, knowing that only one other person had a key to your apartment.

You grab the remote and pause the movie, turning your body to face behind your couch, waiting for Nico to walk around the corner.

As he rounds the corner, suitcase in hand, you can’t help the grin that breaks out on your face.

“You’re back!” you exclaim, fighting the urge to leap off of the couch and crush him in a hug.

“I’m tired,” he responds, his smile bright but eyes tired.

The dark skin under his eyes confirm his words, assuming he had been asleep on the plane until they landed.

“Well, I guess that means I need to get home to Jesp,” Nicole says, sitting up and grabbing her shoes.

Nico looks over, mumbling out a “Good to see you Nicole, thanks for keeping her company this week,” before looking over at you, yawning as he told you he was going to take a quick shower then crash on your couch.

You give him a nod, telling him the stuff he bought last time was still in there.

Nicole gives the two of you a look, waiting until she hears the bathroom door shut to speak up.

“He keeps shower stuff here?”

Looking over at her you explain the time he fell asleep here and needed to shower that morning, stating you had too many expensive looking products to waste on himself, so he bought his own shower essentials and uses them anytime he decides to shower here after practice.

“So let me get this straight. He comes home to your apartment after a long road series, keeps his own products in your shower, has a key, and stays the night sometimes?” she watches you nod, her words not sinking in. “So, he does all of this, but the two of you still claim you’re just friends?”

Not knowing how to respond, you just stare at her. She keeps looking at you, waiting for your answer.

“Well…I mean…I don’t know,” you finally spit out.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” she questions.

“I mean, there’s little moments here and there that lets me think we could be more than friends, but I don’t want to bring it up because what if he’s just being nice? What if he agrees that we’re really just friends?” you open up to Nicole, the only other person you’re able to talk about this with being your mom.

She scoffs at you. “Are you kidding me? What kind of moments? Because from where Jesper and I are sitting, we keep expecting you guys to make it official any day now.”

Your cheeks heat at her words. “Well, like the fact I never even had to ask him to do all of this stuff for me, he just did. And he admitted that he drove all the way to the hospital the night I got hurt because no one had any updates, then drove here with no socks on when they told him I had already come home. He keeps getting all of these restaurants to cut my food up in weird ways so it’s easier for me to eat with one hand. And if they don’t do it, he will,” you keep rambling, not focusing on your surroundings enough to hear the shower shut off. “I mean, he offered me skating lessons when he saw me stumble on the ice once, then started coming over for dinner multiple times a week, unless they’re on the road.”

Nicole looks past you down the short hallway, noticing the light shining through the open bathroom door.

You keep talking. “The biggest one, though, is that I think we almost kissed before they left on Monday,” you tell her, causing Nicole’s eyebrows to shoot up.

“SPILL,” Nicole insists, her interest at an all time high.

“Well, we were standing in my kitchen just goofing off and I stuck my finger in his face. He grabbed it and wouldn’t let go, then we just kind of started staring at each other. Before I knew what was happening, I was staring at his lips and he was staring at mine, then I got nervous and stepped back before anything could happen,” you tell her with a shrug.

Nicole groans. “Are you serious!? You could have kissed him and you chickened out? What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know! I was thinking ‘what if I just have something on my face and he doesn’t actually want to kiss me.’”

She shakes her head at you. Movement down the hallway catches her eye, watching Nico step out of the small bathroom, and idea forming.

“I mean, you do like him, right?” She watches Nico’s figure stop in his tracks.

You sigh at her, letting your head sag a bit.

“Of course I like Nico. He’s kind, funny, takes care of me,” you start, a dreamy tone making its way into your voice. “Not to mention he’s insanely attractive. I just…don’t want to mess things up.”

Nicole flits her eyes over to Nico while you’re not paying attention, watching his face morph into shock.

“Y/N, the only way you’re going to be able to know if he feels the same way or not is to tell him. Forget about making a fool of yourself. Nico won’t shun you if he doesn’t feel the same way, he’s not that kind of guy,” she assures you.

“I know, Nic. But how do I even bring it up? How do I find the right time to slide ‘hey, so I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, let me know if you feel the same!’” You pull a thumbs up at her, pulling a sarcastic face.

Nicole smirks at you, confusing you until she says “Just like that,” before pointing behind you to a freshly showered Nico standing in the hallway, having heard every word you just said.

You turn around, snapping your head back towards Nicole when you see Nico. You don’t move, too petrified with the fact he just heard you say you were in love with him.

“Y/N, is that true?” Nico calls out, cautiously walking towards your couch.

Nicole stands, claiming it was time for her to go before she hastily made her exit.

Your eyes are squeezed shut, trying to pull off the ‘if I can’t see them, they can’t see me,’ move.

“Is what you just told Nicole true? You’re in love with me?” you hear from in front of you now, feeling the couch dip.

You refuse to open your eyes, wanting to disappear into thin air. When Nico reaches his hand out, grabbing your non-slinged hand in his own, your eyes snap open.

He’s looking at you with an expression in his eyes you’ve only ever seen a few times before. Once when you wore his jersey for opposites day at work, handing him your camera to tote around all day as you, very poorly, skated around the ice, trying to scoot a puck around. The second was when you surprised him with a pan of brownies for his birthday, knowing how much he loves the chocolatey squares. The third was when he braided your hair for the first time, recognizing the softness of his eyes through the mirror. The most recent, aside from right now, was earlier this week, during the same moment you just described to Nicole.

“I…” you try to speak, but you’re still stuck in shock.

Nico chuckles and drops his head, looking at your hand in his.

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, too?” he repeats your words, looking up and into your eyes as he says them.

Your mouth snaps shut, a new kind of shock entering your system.

“I think I have been since that first time Jack almost took you out on the ice,” he starts. “I had seen you before, but we only really spoke when you were telling me how to pose for pictures. Or making me smile for arrival pictures,” he reminisces, a fond smile on his face. “I always thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, but I knew I had to get you to talk to me somehow, the skating lessons being my perfect in,” he tells you, squeezing your hand.

You can’t believe your mother was right. The lessons were a calculated move for Nico to establish himself in your life.

Nico keeps talking, pulling you from the realization. “The more we spent time together, the more I realized I wanted you to be more than just my pretty coworker I taught how to ice skate. So, when you offered the dinners after lessons, I jumped. I was hoping it was your way of telling me you had feelings for me, too, but when you kept telling your mom we were just friends, I figured I could wait it out a little longer,” he references all the times you complained about your mom jumping to conclusions. “I kept lying in wait, trying to find the perfect moment to make my move, and then you got hurt. I was so worried when they told me you fell and they had to take you to the hospital. Got scared it was my fault, that I told you the wrong thing during a skating lesson, or I pushed you to skate on your own before you were ready,” he starts rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand.

“When I realized you would need major help while your arm was in that sling, not even being able to brush your hair by yourself, I knew this is where I could tell you. Maybe bring it up when I was braiding your hair, or slip a note in your bagel bag one morning. Hell, I even thought about spelling it out with sushi pieces that first night, but figured that might be a bit tacky,” you laughed at his words, remembering wondering what was taking him so long to bring your food to you. “But then, every time I thought about it, I chickened out. The closest I ever got was the moment in your kitchen, every muscle in my body screaming at me to just lean in and kiss you,” your laugh is cut short at his confession. “When you pulled back before I could, I assumed you didn’t feel the same way, so I left. I was embarrassed, not wanting to sit in the rejection any longer. But this week, being away for so long after spending nearly every day with you for the past three weeks, I knew I had to tell you.”

You’re glad he was as affected by not being around you this week as you were, not feeling as pathetic anymore.

“Was going to tell you when I walked through the door actually, but then I saw Nicole here and didn’t want to do it in front of her. That worked out great, didn’t it?” he laughs at the situation, Nicole clearly having different plans.

You scoff out a “Yeah, clearly, considering she railroaded me without me even knowing.”

“Well, I’m very glad she did, because now I can stop talking about you like a lovesick puppy to them,” Nico tells you, confirming your earlier feeling that Nico brings you up during ‘girlfriend talk’.

“My mom is so totally going to freak out when I tell her we’re dating,” you tell him, stopping yourself. “We are dating, right?”

Nico laughs as he brings his hands up to cup your face, pulling you in for a kiss, his lips as soft as you imagined they were. He keeps the kiss light and sweet before pulling back.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” your cheeks flush, earning another laugh from the man in front of you.

“C’mon, I’m tired and would love to sleep in an actual bed tonight. We can talk details tomorrow, girlfriend,” he emphasizes the word. “Right now, I need cuddles and sleep,” he stands, holding his hand out for you to grab as you stand, leading you down the hallway towards your bedroom.

Thinking back to what lead you to this moment, you giggle quietly to yourself, finding it a little comical that it took you literally falling on the ice and injuring yourself to realize you’d already fallen there once before.

[o-sachi]

Busted Lip ‧₊˚ ⋅ One Shot (Request)

ଳ an ice pack should be enough to heal a busted lip, but you have another trick up your sleeve

ଳ character; hiragi toma (wind breaker)

ଳ tags; fluff, soft toma, gn reader, no y/n, ume silliness

[🐟]: To anon who requested a hiragi fic... thank you from the bottom of my hiragi-loving heart.

This was far from an unusual sight—Hiragi coming back from a scuffle and requiring you to patch up any injuries he sustained. But, as often as it happened, he would still insist that he was "a grown man" and that he could handle first aid on his own.

Too bad for Hiragi but you were more stubborn than he was. Despite his protests, it would always end up with him yielding to your commands.

He'd try to look annoyed and displeased with that grumpy look on his face, but the slight tint of red on his cheeks would betray him each time. At the very least, you'd spare the poor man of your teasing.

The Vaisravana unit came back to the school grounds a little later than expected. You were sure that if it were anyone else dating Hiragi—they'd already be shaking in their boots. But not you. You trusted Hiragi and his strength that no one would be able to take him down. Besides, you were also being pep talked by Ume as the two of you waited for them on the Furin rooftop.

"Ume-san, which part of town did they even go to? It's taking so long and I miss Toma already."

A booming laughter erupts from his chest. "They probably took a detour—buying us some food or something. Don't worry."

Oh well, it was always food with Ume. But if he isn't worried then, why should you be? You sat back in your seat, marveling at the setting sun before you while Ume continued taking photographs of his plants.

You sigh, longingly—and as if on cue—the doors to the rooftop swing open abruptly. A smile stretches on your face upon seeing Hiragi and all the other members on his unit. But your smile quickly turned lopsided once you noticed his busted lip. Hiragi thought he was being smart, trying to turn his head sideways and hoping that you wouldn't notice the glaring injury on his face.

Ume, on the other hand, was frowning for totally different reason and it had something to do with them coming back emptyhanded.

"You guys took so long and here I thought you were bringing back food..." With the way he pouted, it was almost impossible to tell that he was the top dog of Furin.

"Who said we were bringing ya back food?" Hiragi retorts, scratching the back of his neck.

Suo steps in with the usual calm expression. "It took us a while to come back because we encountered a couple of townspeople who requested our help."

Ume nodded. "How about we go get some food then and enjoy it up here? Hm? How does that sound?"

Nirei and Suo were on board as they always were with Ume's plans. Sakura insisted that he'd be heading home already, but that wasn't allowed on their watch. And Sugishita would go just about anywhere Ume wanted them to.

You already knew how Hiragi would respond, but would you felt being a little cheeky today in exchange for him making you miss him too much. Standing up from your seat, the grainy sound of the wooden chair against the concrete floor prompted the boys to look at you.

"Toma, you stay here with me," you say, firmly.

The others started snickering and teasing Hiragi who had the biggest scowl on his face—a scowl which was directed at them, of course. God forbid that he look at you with such a nasty expression.

They bicker a little more, wishing Hiragi good luck before he faces your "wrath". Exasperated, he shakes his head while everyone else filtered out of the rooftop. Once it was the two of you left, Hiragi glanced over at you.

"Ya thought that was funny hm?" he asks as he made his way over to you.

You watch as he pulls a chair closer to yours and you smile sweetly at his question. "They did laugh though, didn't they?"

He plops down on the chair with an exaggerated huff. Walking all afternoon was tiring enough and here you were—being brazen as ever. In front of the others too no less.

"You're a real piece of work," he murmurs. Normally, that sentence would have you raising your brow, but it came from Hiragi. He had a strange way of showing affection—not like you minded it.

You point a finger at his face, more specifically, the lip that was swelling up. "That. That's the real piece of work here. What happened to you huh?"

Hiragi clicks his tongue. It was naive of him to think that you'd let him get away with it without so much as an explanation. Seems pretty easy to do, but the fussing that would occur thereafter was the one thing he wanted to prevent.

Looking off to the side, he muttered beneath his breath. "Sakura hit me with a sign..." He spoke so softly as if the less you heard, the less you'd care about his busted lip.

Your brows furrow in confusion. You understood what he said, but at the same time you didn't.

"A sign? What sign? What were you guys up to?"

"We were helping an elderly couple put up a new sign on their store. So all of us hoisted up the sign and we were supposed to do it on my count of 3. But that damn kid doesn't know how to listen and hoisted too early."

His gaze wandered down to his feet, perching his elbows on his knees. "...Hence the busted lip."

A sigh of relief left your lips. Thankfully it wasn't a result of a fight this time. You could already imagine the kind of back-and-forth they had earlier with that sign. It made you giggle a bit—thinking about Hiragi and Sakura pointing fingers while everyone else stood awkwardly.

As soon as you stood up, his eyes were on you. "Where are ya going?"

"To the infirmary, duh. I'm getting you an icepack for that lip."

You were already a few steps ahead when he stopped you. A firm grasp was on your wrist as he held you in place. "Ya don't have to. Just stay here. It'll get better on its own."

You turn to look back at him. His gaze was firm, telling you that he was absolutely adamant that you stay put. Not wanting to be that overbearing partner, you give up on it.

Instead, you looked back at him with the same intensity. You two did this quite often which resulted in the others calling this little thing of yours as "flirting". Your own brand of flirting that is.

But a cheeky grin broke out on your face again at a silly thought that had crossed your mind.

"If you don't want an icepack and if you don't want me to move... well, I thought of a remedy that doesn't require any icepacks or me leaving here."

His interest... or trepidation, rather—was piqued.

Whatever "remedy" you have up your sleeve, he knew it was just another way of saying, "Oh I have another way to tease you and make you look like a fool in love."

Great. Just great, knowing that he had to indulge you as the good boyfriend that he is.

"What is it th-"

His sentence cuts off once you had your hands cupping his face and your lips on his. For someone weaker than him, you sure were strong enough when it came down to it. You pulled him down to your height while keeping your lips locked.

For a moment, you let him pull away. You wondered what kind of expression he'd make after this stunt that you pulled.

"Seriously?"

Once again, he tries to convince you about how disgruntled he was. But with the way his lips bent, it was clear he was trying to suppress a smile. How adorable, you thought.

The only attacks Hiragi couldn't defend against were the flurry of kisses you planted all over his face. His lips, cheeks, the tip of his nose, forehead—none of those were safe from your affections.

Before you knew it, the smile he had fought hard to subdue had made its way on his face. His own hands cupped your face, finally reciprocating the fondness you so kindly showered him with.

Your little moment, however, was interrupted by a squealing Ume.

"Hey, Nirei, get this on camera!"

... to which everyone else face palmed.

Not only did he ruin your fun, but he gave away their presence. So nothing was caught on camera that day.

Hiragi let go of you, giving you one last gentle gaze before scowling at the idiots that interrupted the two of you.

Well, he had to teach them a lesson before they could tease him, right?

ε( ε ˙³˙)ɜ ｡° ⚬ ｡ likes and reblogs are appreciated

pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.

o-sachi © 2024

[gofishygo]

giggling ab this okay so

imagine gaz n reader, they've just started to date

and reader is trans (ftm) but gaz doesn't know that yet

but then after a few weeks of dating reader is taking their T in the bathroom/bedroom and had forgotten to lock the door & gaz walks in oh no,,

YEAH so!!! i hope that's enough to.. you know. yeah!!!! i 💗 ur fics sm.

(we need more ftm fics RIGHT NOW!!)

whoEVER ANON IS . I LOVE U . Thank u so so so so much 4 this request my fingers have been acting to write m or ftm content u have appealed to my deepest desires . myways this rq is super silly i love chilled out gay mf and nervous closeted trans mf dynamic so much. 

Also posted on trans visibility day lets GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

the same (always changing); kyle 'gaz' garrick + trans male! reader (979 words)

notes: some implied and described internalised transphobia, mentions of transphobia, mentions of gender dysphoria, reader does not have top surgery yet, partial nudity on reader (non-sexual), little hurt/comfort type w/ fluff at the end !!

-

It wasn’t meant to be a secret. It really wasn't.

But here you are, cooped up in the cold premise of your shared bathroom, waiting for the gel to dry into your skin as you stare at your figure in the mirror, noticing the little changes with a strange sense of europhia. You wished you could run back to the arms of your boyfriend as you ramble about how good the hormones have been working, how you can see your outer shell peeling open to show the man who's been living in the inside, a feedback loop that had you seeing yourself in reflections instead of skin and hair and face that you'd barely recognised. Maybe his face would melt into that gorgeous smile, arms pulling you closer to him like he's seeping off the happiness he swears he sees seeping off your skin's pores. But it's the flip of a coin, a winning ticket in an uncertain lottery.

you're not so sure if Kyle would love the kind of person you were.

gender hadn't ever been a point of focus in your conversations, never something that had to be caught and pinned down with word or thought. he was a man, you were a man, and you loved each other. both of you did your best to keep it at that simplicity. but part of you, like the serpent to adam and eve, had always doubted whether kyle would look at you with the same eyes if you somehow ended up showing him your childhood photos or now-invalid passport, the face that was still soaked with dysphoria-ridden tears. 

the gel is still sticking to your ribs when the door practically flies off its hinges slamming against concrete walls and gaping open your closed eyes with ugly sound. There's a groan of exasperation that should make you giggle, but only makes already tense muscles almost turn to stone. "honey, you done ? really need to take a fat shi-" 

And then there's that silence both unsurprising but dreaded, how it felt to inhale smoke. 

You hate the shock as his eyes run over your bare chest in realisation, feeling any words about to come out crawling back into your windpipe as he notices the thin layer of gel and the label of the bottle on the sink. 

"love?" he calls, an endearing substitute replacing your name. you didn’t know if he'd call you that, even after this revelation. Or did he not know what else to call you now that this had been revealed ? "kyle," you echo. 

please just look at me, kyle. 

his eyes still look the same as how they look at you; stormclouds that accompany you on lonely and rainy nights, and your eyes can't help on focus on the pretty shade of grey instead of the battering of water droplets hitting against tin. Not once  does it ever shift to malice or hatred- only worry, for you, maybe. 

"do you want to talk about it right now ?" isn't the response that you expected. It's an gentle offer, and extended hand waiting for you to take or push away, more freeing than astute observations of your perceived identity or the bitter words hissed out when others had realised. You can only nod your head in response. 

"im sorry," you say, and you don’t know how much (what you're) apologising for. Sorry for never telling you. Sorry for making a distance that could have been avoided. Sorry for being this without your permission, anyone else's permission. 

but he's quick to hold you and the shame that you carry , not minding any of the gel residue on his shirt. "hey, no, it's okay," his voice is gentle, reaching out for your secluded self. "remember what I told you when we first started dating?" he puts a hand to your head, playing with your hair as he pulls you closer to him. "I love all of you, dove. Everything." he rests his chin onto your shoulder, murmuring the words into your ear. And you can't help but hug back, clinging to him like a lifeline. Your lifeline. "I love you too," you muse.

you both stay there for a minute before he pulls away with a complaint of some back pain from a recent mission, and you kiss his nose, allowing yourself to smile for the first time since he'd entered the room. "so.." you start, now perched on the rim of the bathtub. "you're ok with me being trans?"

you giggle when he deadpans at you, "love, I just hugged you for 5 full minutes after seeing you apply testosterone instead of taking a shit. I don’t really care if you're trans." 

and after your testosterone dries and you put on your shirt, you both in bed, tangled up in each other's arms. ramblings about little stories or town gossip. professions of grandiose love guised under quiet murmurs. the hormones are still a little crusty on your skin, but they're doing the work that should have been done since birth. 

The same, always changing. 

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Hello! I know you're one of the people who ship Moon and Solar (TSAMS) And y'all have gotten me into the ship as well! XD I'm not caught up on the lore of the show(s) So i haven't even seen Solar IN SHOW before (i am very behind to before Lunar was Sun and Moons brother :' D) But I have some ideas I'm debating writing for the ship buttt....I have no clue how Canon Solar acts??? Do you know if theres somewhere I could find a Summary on his personality? (and I suppose...new Moon?) I'll probably unintentionally make them OOC...never written for anything TSAMS related, but i'll try!

And is there a ship names thats...like used for them instead of Solar X Moon or is it just called that?

Anywho, I hope you have a good day/night!!! You make awesome stuff! (And I know theres been some people making drama over the ship, I hope you don't let them get to you too much tho!! <3 /P)

🦈Anon

AWESOME!

Heheheh. Thank you. I've been shipping these two since June 2023 so I'm glad I can share the brainrot and some people are more welcoming and cool then I expect. (mostly the ones who can't think critically are the youtube audience but that's expected. Since a lot of the youtube target audience are... like.. minors or really young adults who can't conceive the concept.)

I rewatch that Episode where Solar changes his name and rebuilds the Daycare in a week just for Moon constantly cause it's just... so much admiration and appreciation Moon has for Solar in that episode. I swear I don't know if it was a flub on the actor's part... but I swear Moon calls him 'sexy' as he's dragging him to charge. the stock sound effect of "OOOOH" doesn't help my APD and I've listened so many times and I have no possible idea what Moon could be saying to Solar other then 'come here you stupid, sexy-...." (trails off) sooo... idk. I might have misheard that severely but that's just what I'm hearing.

Like, in terms of New Lore of the show, it gets pretty complicated.

So complicated in fact, TSAMS themselves released a new video on the subject.... But it's NOT a very good guide, as it misses a lot of things. (and no I don't mean the stupid guest cameo stuff) this is more or less an abridged take on what happens with no emotional impact:

Like, this is a good starting point if you want the barest of bones, but it misses so much stuff. I think they don't even mention how Solar gets introduced into this family. lol. Just like "yeah Im here and I helped kill Eclipse" fheahehf. It's a super well made video though, and I don't mind the editing mistakes (clearly when the actors change the avatar on screen.... whoops. Happens a few times)

There is also the Fan Wiki, but as of now, it is incomplete, (@twinanimatronics is working tirelessly on updating the wiki and I wish they got more reconignition from the tsams community as a whole ) but it does give a decent look into Solar

There is also the huge TSAMS Lore Document, which Ceph(twinanimatronics) also worked on which contains a further detailed explanation of the story so far, for those who don't have time to watch 2 years worth of youtube content that aren't in a concrete playlist. (TSAMS. PLAYLIST YOUR STUFF PROPERLY. YOU HAVE TWO YEARS OF LORE HERE)

Liike.... yeah... this is okay but like..

This is VRchat. Aka the lore. Which also includes when they play videogames in VRchat, which don't impact the story... Like Uno, Amongus and SCP stuff.....

And it doesn't divide the arcs. Something that TSAMS severely needs more then any other SB Show channel.

Also, in the early days, the gameplay videos USED to be part of the lore. As the concept of Eclipse itself, being a rouge evil ai that lived in Sun's head (as it was presented initially but we know the truth it was the killcode moon planted in Sun when they separated.)

These days, they kinda dropped the gameplay videos being directly connected to the over arching plot. Other then just saying that their vids are pre-recorded or "we're back" after an annual halloween takeover.

Not to mention... When Earth and Lunar got a show, they became intertwined with the Sun and Moon show. LAES is very much it's own thing, but it's the ONLY Security Breach Show that consists of two Original Characters spawned from the Sun and Moon show. A rarity. So their lore continues off from the Sun and moon show, giving more info on Lunar these days and Earth (their sister)

Then you have the Monty and Foxy show (which is my least favorite of the shows... Personal Preference. I try not to complain cus I know some people like it. But I do not like the plot points in that show, or the character writing and weird directions they take while being connected to the same universe.)

And Monty is a character voiced by Davis, who also voices Sun. So Monty started out as a prominent character on the Sun and Moon Show, and then got his OWN show... at a point in TSAMS history after Eclipse got the star and killed Lunar.

So yeah. I wish the playlists were better organized here. So we knew when each era starts.

(people say Matpat should get on this show lore... And noooooooo no thanks. Keep him away. We got you covered. Ceph honestly has enough info to make a video guide at this point.)

But long story short, Solar is a "Good Eclipse" from another dimension that the Old Moon introduced to Lunar, when Lunar was struggling with his trauma of leaving Eclipse. Good Eclipse and Lunar become friends.

Anyway, here are some key episodes that outline NewMoon and Solar's relationship, as Solar had never met the Old Moon.

Old Moon had never met Solar. It was New Moon who introduced himself to Solar to help defeating Eclipse once and for all. (and by this point lunar had died)

He was actually surprised that this Moon was a chill Moon and could be reasoned with and talked to, considering he was living a rather oppressive life from his own Moon.

There's also a whole episode saga of just these two bantering and talking while they work on the satellite together. I can't remember which specific episodes those are.

You can also see the difference between the Evil Eclipse and Good Eclipse here in one of my all time favorite episodes:

Moon saving Solar's life: (also the death of the bad Eclipse)

Everything is good and happy after Eclipse dies for awhile. (aside of Ruin and Bloodmoon wrecking shit) He goes back to his own dimension... and you get to see what his sad life is like:

From his Moon calling him "byproduct" and failure very often.

But... Something happens and Solar is forced to come to Moon's dimension

here's Solar at his poor little meow meow "I have nowhere to go" stage and just... thought to go to Moon immediately due to their history.

Moon's only question about Solar moving in, is that if he wanted him to blacklist his dimension once he heard what was going on with his Moon.

And immediately, Solar jumps in to help Moon with his problems.

Also during the halloween takeover part 2 electric boogaloo, Solar was the one to help get Sun and Moon back after being teleported to a different dimension with no hopes of returning

Also, after Ruin was cured and Bloodmon ran off, Solar rebuilt the ruined Daycare in a week. And Moon is so grateful for it. (i rewatch this episode a lot. It cemented the ship in my mind and built the commodity that they've been building up for months)

We also get what Solar's daily life is like so far... How out of place he feels, being someone from a different dimension, despite the Brothers (and sister's) insistence, he still doesn't really feel like he's part of the family. He feels like an outsider. (He also has less opportunities to hang out with Lunar. As he expressed interest in playing games with him like the good old days, and as of recently, they have not yet)

also a good example of the Celestial family changing minds on family dynamics because they are robots. Lunar flat out rejected Vegeta-Animatronic is his brother even if he technically is. Like, they're robots. They can change their relationships to each other based on their word. I like to see it more flexible then it is in reality with actual people/humans.

Moon also trying to make Solar feel comfortable and feel like he's adjusting well here. Expressing his concern for him doing so much for him and his family. And hoping to not pressure him into so much work.

As of recently, his Sun died, and he killed his Moon. And in his therapy session (on the Lunar and Earth Show) he expressed regret over "Leaving" them...

But he has not properly told anyone about this.

My reasoning is that he probably thinks that the family will jump on the chance to call him "Evil" .....They don't have good luck with Eclipses.... and every Eclipse they met other than him has been Evil. (that must weigh on you. Every version of yourself is deemed as evil across every dimension. You are the only good one. Maybe there is something wrong with you)

I'm already at the video limit, but on Lunar and Earth show, there is an interesting episode where Lunar goes into Solar's head, and his mindscape looks like the Willy Wonka TV room, because it was a movie he watched with his Sun before they separated and Sun died. Showing that he did care about his Sun a whole lot... Which is probably why he doesn't interact with our Sun that much alone.

He also compartmentalizes everything before he can feel emotions, playing his own memories in third person as if he's not experiencing them.

Not to mention, he organizes and separates his thoughts on NewMoon and HIS Moon, just so he won't associate the two.

I also missed what episode it was, but Solar is always the first to call Moon out when he's being angry, or irrational, and Sun admits in his therapy session, that Solar is the only person who can calm Moon down. (mainly cus he's used to it, but unlike his old moon, this moon listens)

Anyway...

I love Solar a lot, can you tell?

[britishassistant]

Bc I love badass yuu moments

I can only imagine if Villain!yuu got one of those.

Like, some other supervillain is trying to take their Territory and it would be a job to the league to take care off, but Crowley put them in charge just to prove something but THEN

This new villain kidnaps one of the first years or yuuken and Yuu goes full on super-badass-villain mode, noone tortures theirs, maybe, sorta, kinda, only friends!

Without any super powers Yuu banes the other villain like the goddam badass they can be and the boys are just .... "that was hot" "oh God I wish that was me"

Anonymous said: When things do go Villain!Yuu’s way, it helps cement that despite their pitfalls they ARE still Crowley’s chosen heir. A new gang try’s to edge into Yuu’s territory and start causing more devastating damage to the city? The next day news reports that old warehouse that the group was using blown to Timbuktu and all the gang members are now being treated for injuries that would have killed them outright if whatever caused the damage wasn’t so scarily precise. Those state officials that were swindling the water treatment plant? They can never work a job ever again with the shear amount of evidence of other crimes they’ve committed being leaked through their own social media accounts.

Thank you for the asks, dear anons!

“Well, aren’t you a sorry lot?”

Jack snarls, twisting in the ropes tying them all to the central pillar in the car park in such a way that the material digs in even harder into Ace’s stomach.

“Agh, quit, you ass-!” He’s barely able to gasp out alongside Deuce’s groan and Epel’s muttering of “Tight, tight, too tight!”

Ortho doesn’t say anything. Hasn’t since one of the guys who took them hit him with some kind of tazer-stick-thing.

The villain just chuckles, strolling around so he’s got a good view of Jack. “Really, when I heard the Supervisor was the Night Raven’s heir, I expected some panache, some machismo from the trusted minions they left guarding their lair. Not…this.”

Epel lets out a wordless growl of rage.

Ace is very aware of the pizza sauce stain on his pants, the beer he spilled on his shirt giving off a wheaty smell.

But he’s never been very good at keeping his mouth shut.

“And I expected that the biggest guy here would actually get his hands dirty rather than hide behind a buncha meatheads,” He calls out. “But I guess we’re all getting disappointed today, huh?”

There’s a pause, and then the sharp click of dress shoes against the concrete.

“I don’t know if the minger here really has the room to criticize, does he boys?” The supervillain makes a show of looking around the hired muscle pretending to lounge about the room, waiting for their mandatory laughter and agreement. “Especially not after the gaffe he pulled.”

Ace glares as this asshole gives him a truly unpleasant smile.

“A-Ace?” Epel says, peering at the side of his face.

“Oh? You mean they don’t know?” The villain mock-gasps. “Well, listen up kiddos, because this is how your little buddy well and truly fucked you over.”

“You bastard—!” Deuce growls, riled up already.

“There he was, ready and poised to hit some button to seal us in or shoot us or unleash whatever toys the Supervisor has tidied away.” The villain boasts dramatically, “But, in the hour of your deepest need, what does our friend here do? Does he act to protect the lair, his comrades?”

Sebek is turning red in a way usually reserved for those who insult his “Malleus-sama”, glaring furiously between Ace and this guy.

“No! Instead, our ginger minger abandons his duty so he can shove some whiny tot into an air vent!” There’s a raucous chorus of laughter and jeering that sets Ace’s teeth on edge. “And then he let himself go down trying to keep you boys from grabbing her! I’d be moved to tears, if it wasn’t so hilarious!!”

He feels his jaw grind so hard it hurts.

“What sort of moron sacrifices himself so a brat could get away?” The villain looms over Ace. “Some friendly advice, newbie. The infant and her sippy cup aren’t going to save you.”

The gob of saliva that hits him in the eye stings.

“Better that than going around with a face like some kinda freakish overgrown rat.” He snarks, the smirk on his face almost a snarl. “Seriously, have you ever even looked in a mirror? Or wait, my bad, is this what you look like when you’re actually trying to look normal?”

The laughter cuts off.

It’s fast enough that Ace feels the ropes shift as the others look around.

Blinking to try and clear his vision, Ace glances up.

The villain’s face has gone a deep puce, blood veins bulging in his forehead, eyes, and neck, a fearsome grimace turning his expression truly bestial.

“Tazer!” He snarls.

“But boss—!”

“Tazer!!” The villain roars, spittle frothing at his lips.

Some muscle-bound chump scurries up with his tail between his legs, offering that black stick that took Ortho out so easily.

It whines as the villain jams it on, sparks crackling off the end.

“A rat, am I?” The villain mutters, advancing on Ace as he presses himself back against the pillar. “A rat?! You dare…I’ll show you. I’ll show you what a rat looks like, you miserable, squirming vermin!!”

Ace can’t help yelping as he sees the baton come down, eyes squeezed shut—!

There’s a shout and a…caw?

Ace cracks one eye open.

The villain is clutching his baton hand, dripping blood from deep gouges into the meat of his fingers.

Staring after a huge, familiar black bird that’s flying off with the baton in its talons.

“Di-Diavolo!” He hears Deuce call out.

He watches as Diavolo soars up into the rafters, and merges into the darkness above them. Darkness, he realizes with a start, that has somehow grown teeming with thousands of beady eyes and rustling feathers.

Black birds.

Hundreds upon hundreds of them, staring down at them from the walls and rafters with an intent that sends chills down Ace’s spine.

“Wh-what the hell?!” Yells one of the thugs.

“You know, Ace,” Comes a voice that could be called nonchalant if it wasn’t for the slight tremor in its words. “You can be really cool when you let yourself be.”

Ace can’t help the grin that curves across his face even as he want to break down. “Like you’re one to talk!! What the hell took ya so long?!”

Yuu gives a tiny smile, and huffs a small, wry laugh.

Then the expression drops from their face, and the Supervisor glares imperiously down at their enemies.

“And you.” The click of their high heels is as sharp as their tone. “You’ve got some nerve, attacking my lair, hurting my minions.”

The villain scoffs, attempting to slick his hair back as he turns to face them. “The Supervisor, I presume? I’m—”

“I don’t care.” The Supervisor cuts in. “You’ll be nobody once I hand you over to that detective waiting outside. Nice guy, even bothered by a small timer like you.”

“Small timer?!” The villain growls, sweat beading his brow. “How dare you?!”

Grim lets out a low, growling cackle from where he’s lounging across Yuu’s shoulders, looking menacing for once in his life. “Yeah, rat-face! A rodent like you better bow down before the great Grim-sama!”

The villain bulges in anger, tremors wracking his frame.

“Ge-GET THEM!!” He yells. “BRING ME THAT UPSTART’S HEAD!!”

The thugs advance on Yuu, brandishing pipes and knuckle dusters.

“Alright, guys.” The Supervisor rolls their neck as Grim rises to pounce. “Lab rules. This’ll get loud.”

At those words, Ace’s eyes automatically shut again and he turns to press his face into Sebek’s shoulder, as he feels Epel press against his.

There’s a cacophony of caws and the rattle of their dropped cargo. The blinding blasts of light and BOOMS of the charges detonating flash against his eyelids, feeling the foundations tremble under him.

He opens his eyes to see the goons on the floor, groaning in pain.

The villain is the last left standing, heaving in outrage before charging at the Supervisor with a reckless, infuriated scream.

Grim rears up and unleashes a torrent of fire in the bastard’s face.

As he stumbles away, scrabbling at the flames on his hair and clothes, the birds descend upon him in a flurry of sharp beaks and talons.

With a yell he swats out, attempting to drive off the flock. And some of them do retreat, descending on the thugs that were trying to get up.

Creating an opening for the Supervisor to drive the baton into the villain’s throat with ruthless efficiency.

There’s the whine of electricity and a high-pitched scream.

Ace watches as the bastard topples to the ground.

The breath rushes out of him.

“Human!” Sebek shouts, blowing out Ace’s eardrums. “Quit resting on your laurels! The robot needs medical attention, urgently!”

“R-right!” Yuu straightens, rushing over with a pair of bolt cutters, babbling as they saw at the ropes. “I-Idia’s waiting back at the lair to fix him up, we’ll go out the back so we can avoid the detective, and the heroes. Diavolo and company will make sure these jerks aren’t going anywhere we don’t want them, and meet us back at the lair later. I don’t think they can arrest birds, so it should be fine?”

“Right. Let’s move.” Jack still has the burr of a growl in his voice as he shakes off the ropes, turning to Ortho besides him and scooping him up gently.

Epel is scavenging a pipe while Deuce is already up scouting out their escape route. Sebek begins bickering with Grim over whether he has to call him “Grim-sama” now or ever, taking a protective position at the rear.

Yuu falls back alongside Ace, offering a shoulder for him to lean on.

“Elena’s alright.” They mutter to him quietly. “She was in a bit of a state when she found me, but she’s home safe and sound. I promised we’d call in the car so she could hear you’re all okay.”

Ace can’t help the small grin that quirks his lips. “A~ah. At least that turned out okay. It’d be a real pain if she got herself kidnapped after all the shit I went through.”

Yuu smiles, broad and real. “Mr. Martin and Mr. Jon are very grateful to you, you know. I think they’re going to give you a present. A homemade sweater perhaps.”

“Geh!” He scowls at them. “What, is that some kinda punishment?! If they wanna reward me, I’ll take cash. Or food. Either or, I’m not picky.”

“The hell you sayin’, yer bein’ picky right now.” Epel interjects ahead of them.

Ace blows a raspberry. Jack lets out a chuckle and Yuu giggles next to him. Ortho somehow looks more like he’s sleeping than he did before. Sebek and Grim’s argument is reaching new levels of volume. Deuce is holding the door open to where the escape vehicle is parked outside on a double yellow line.

Ace lets himself be hustled into the car, and enjoys the moment of comfort and safety.

[pavedinashes-if]

Im feeling kinda down mentally so I want some Sam snippet finding mc crying on the stairs while they are little drunk and can't find their keys.

Gotchu Anon. Here's an absolutely not cute nor awkward snippet.

You're going through your pockets for the millionth time, and still without any luck, you're starting to get really frustrated now. "Oh, come on, please. Where... Ugh..." Your keys are nowhere to be found, neither in your backpack nor your jacket, pants, or hoodie. Not knowing how much time has passed since you sat down on the stairs of your stepmother's house, you decided to finally give up now and lower your face into your hands, wiping away tears. Maybe you just need a moment to breathe.

"Mc?" the sound of your name and approaching steps on the concrete catch your attention, making you look up lazily.

"Everything ok?" Sam asks, clearly worried, once your teary eyes lock, and they see the tiredness on your face.

You roll your eyes at them, "Yes, everything perfect. Just amazing. I just wanted to get some fresh air."

Sam sighs but stays silent for a moment; their eyes then wander up the house front, noticing all lights are turned off. "Is nobody at home?"

You dig your face deeper into your hands, a mumbled "No." being all that you manage to respond.

"Mmh." their eyes fixed on you, their mind running wild. "It’s getting cold, why don’t we go to my place for a bit, so we can figure something out together?"

"Why...? I told you I am fine." you protest, irritated from their offer.

Another sigh, deeper this time, with a hint of annoyance.

"Mc?"

"Yes?" you hiss back, but this time your voice sounds more fragile.

When you meet their gaze, something changes inside of you. You can see an honest worry, and immediately feel bad for lashing out. Yet, both of you stay silent, looking at each other. Your face feels warm, and you are sure it is not from the drinks you had earlier. Sam’s expression changes, a soft tiny smile tugging at the corner of their lips. Not knowing why you feel embarrassed so suddenly, you quickly look away.

"Maybe a little warm up won’t hurt." your words breaking the silence, while you are still avoiding their eyes.

Sam offers you their hand, the motion surprising you so much that you tense up a little, staring at it. You consider declining it, but quickly brush this thought off, then reach out. Their skin is warm, completely in contrast to yours, it’s softer than you had expected too. Sam pulls you up with a careful yet controlled motion, and wouldn't it be for the alcohol you consumed, it would surely be a smooth movement overall. Instead, you miss the moment of balance and bump into them, exhaling in a high-pitched note. Sam grabs you, holding you close, and right now, right here, you wish you could stay with your face against their shoulder. The embarrassment soaking you up - that’s a good place to die, you think to yourself, your face burning hot.

Sam, on the other hand, stands still. You are sure they feel the heat radiating from your face, and yet, nothing. Interestingly this is exactly what helps you calm down, relax a bit. You stay like this for a bit, your mind getting lost in the comfort, your body almost aching for this closeness. But then you slowly push back and find them looking at you the moment you created that little space between you both.

What is this expression on their face? You are not sure you have seen it before. It feels so intimate, so personal, so hopeful?

When you step back, they watch you closely. You are indeed a little wobbly on your feet, maybe more than you expected to be. Sam decides to give you a little respectful distance, but never more than an arm’s length away - just in case.

Two houses down, Sam opens the door. It’s a large beautiful building, with a cute welcoming entry. You always wondered what it looked like from the inside, though all you managed to glimpse was the staircase and a peek at the letterboxes. You follow Sam further inside, your eyes absorbing all the little details of this wonderful old building, the pretty vintage walls in dark green and the dark black floor tiles.

You two stop in front of the staircase, and Sam’s eyes inspect them before they turn around to you. "I guess I forgot… we don’t have an elevator here. Are you... ok to get to the second floor taking the stairs?"

Your eyes wander up the massive staircase too now, and you swallow. "Eh, sure." hoping you did manage to hide your doubts while your head spins just from the look up the stairs.

Sam was watching you the whole time, walking next to you, and not just one time you saw from the corner of your eye how they reached out behind your back, so that they would be prepared in case you’d lose your balance. What a stressful experience. All because you decided to decline their offer to take their arm on the walk up.

After what felt like climbing Mount Everest, you finally reach the second floor, breathing heavily, head dizzy.

It’s a loud metallic knock when the key unlocks the door to Sam’s apartment. They hold the door open for you and wait patiently as you almost stumble inside. You slowly remove your shoes and walk further inside, noticing all the lovely details in their home. Sam must have spent a lot of time carefully decorating this place; you instantly feel welcome.

"You can just get comfortable on the couch if you want. I’ll get us something warm to drink. What do you like? A coffee? A tea maybe? Something else?"

Moving your backpack from your shoulder, you sit down on the couch and place it on your lap. "A tea would be nice. Maybe a green one?"

A relieved smile graces Sam’s lips. "Sure." then they disappear in the kitchen, or at least that’s what you guess.

The living room is held in dark cozy colors, completed with dark heavy wood and details that seem to tell a life story of their own. It’s a wonderful sight, and yet you are surprised to see this kind of interior. You would’ve never guessed this style of design to match their exterior. Maybe you did judge them too early.

The warmth of this room, the sound of boiling water nearby, the smell of leather and flowers - all playing their part in your slowly fading stress. You manage to relax, to feel safe, and to … doze off. You quickly blink. You don’t want to; you can’t fall asleep right now. You smile to yourself, what a weird day and what an unexpected development. You blink once more, your vision becoming blurry, your smile stays. Then you fall asleep.

When Sam enters the living room a few moments later, you are fully asleep already, your head resting on the back of the couch, your backpack fallen to the ground, its contents scattered on the floor.

Sam places the tea cups on the table next to where you are happily snoozing. Then they take a closer look at the scattered items, considering whether they should collect them for you before you accidentally step on them once you wake up. And then their eyes fall to your keys. Were you searching for them? Is that why you were sitting outside your stepmom’s house at night? Did you not know they were inside your backpack?

Sam decides not to pick up your things, worried you might see this as an intrusion into your privacy. Instead, they pick up the blanket on the other side of the couch and unfold it. Yet, then Sam hesitates. Would this maybe wake you up? Is this… too much? Their heart is racing, they cannot deny this. Taking a deep breath, they then shake this thought off and slowly, very slowly place the blanket over your body. When they are close to you, the moment they softly wrap the corners of the blanket over your shoulder, they hold their breath. Did they ever notice how beautiful you really are? They doubt it. They never had a chance to look at you for more than a short moment, without one of you looking away quickly. What an odd moment. An involuntary smile crawls up on their face. What the hell are you doing, you creep!? Their eyes open wide at the realization of the proximity and what it must look like from an outside perspective. Sam quickly retreats, shaking their head, blushing. They pick up one of the cups and walk over to the dining table on the other side of the room. One last look in your direction. What am I doing here?

[dearweirdme]

I have concrete evidence--not even concrete, more like steel reinforced BRICKwork with scaffolding support level of evidence that Taekook isn't real. Okay, like I promise I'm not a Kookminer. I'm really not. My bias is actually Suga and I used to like Yoongmin so I have no dog in this fight BUT---

I accidentally watched five Kookjiminie videos on YouTube and I saw something that now has me questioning; was Taekook ever real !?? In these videos (I wish I could find them but I can't sorry and they seem to have disappeared from my YouTube history) but I noticed a disturbing pattern. In one of these video clips, I noticed that Jimin's husband, Jungkook, blinked three times in a row at Jimin and only two times in a row at Taehyung and that's when I knew, Taekook was over. This might surprise some people who don't know me but I actually studied Body Language Language to an FBI level and I specialised specifically in Blinkage and Morse Code of The Eye. I have attended every YouTube tutorial video in that free online course so I can assure you my skills are legit.

Don't get me wrong. I do think Taekook dated when they were like 17 or something but then I also think Taehyung's soulmate and Tae's boyfriend fell in love with each other and just couldn't help but have an affair or maybe Tae and Jimin's lover, Jungkook, broke up and then Jimin decided to swoop in then and steal his soulmate + best friend's ex boyfriend because hoes before bros and dates before soulmates, right?

I know it might seem like I ship Jiminie❤️Kookie but I swear on my mother's grave that I don't. I'm actually more of a Jihopie shipper but listen, I grew up in an orphanage since birth and I've never had any family but myself so even before I became an expert Body Language expert, I knew better than anyone how to observe people's intentions and I hate (honestly I HATE) to say this but I think the real ship might be JiminKook4eva. I really do. I swear on my father's life that I don't ship it but I can't deny it that there's a LOT of evidence that they got married in Japan.

They were both in Japan for a start.

I know I probably won't convince you and I'm honestly not here to try to but I've got five more essays lined up about why you should listen to me and believe what I'm saying and stop shipping Taekook because let's be real, Taehyung has literally said that he hates it--and I know some people think he was talking about the fan fantasising about Jimin's life partner, Jungkook, but that's only one interpretation so he literally hates it.

Please, please listen to me for some reason. I don't really know what that reason is because I swear I'm not a J+M+RingFinger=JikookieMarried shipper at all!!

Just listen to me because you're going to be sorry and crying if you don't when you read my 10900 word dissertation of PURE concrete evidence with compiled pictures, videos, fanart and fan theory that I have attached to this ask. I used an AI program to help me put this portfolio together so obviously, you know that it's legit and 100% correct (Hopefully the attachment shows up but if not then I think it sadly might have disappeared with the YouTube videos)

Lots of love from ~Turn the V upside down and you get A for ARMY~ xx

Omg anon… you totally opened my eyes!

[satellitedusterart]

How do you get your drawing ideas? My head is so empty all the time.

1. usually, from other pieces of art! paintings, poems, written stories, music, animation, tv shows, etc! i make a habit of saving anything that inspires me, or interests me, or reminds me of an OC/storyworld. it doesn't always push me to draw, but it does help get me thinking about a character and what i could do with them. something in particular i'll do is save a post, an image, a video, even a song if the mood fits, and add a small blurb to Put a more concrete image or idea in my head. that way, when i actually get to drawing, it comes back to me quicker and i'll have an easier time drawing more in the process!

[also worth saying i keep a disturbingly extensive discord server where i save all of these ideas. so everyday im essentially praying that discord doesn't go down or explode forever <3]

2. writing! not just plot stuff, but journal writing helps me get a lot of ideas on paper, whether through sheer mental spewing, or ruminating on a topic, or just pure exploration. there's a common experience among OC artists on here in which they develop their characters better when they talk about them to a friend/a server/ etc, and frankly, that's where alot of my own developmental work has been done! [shoutout to my friends also for listening to me ramble about my lil guys here and there. mwah]

3. this is less of an answer and more of advice, but i don't draw every idea that i get, i don't write down every idea that comes to me, and i don't always get inspired from the things that i like. sometimes you have to wait for inspiration to strike, and in the meantime, let life come to you as it may until it does! take pictures, watch a new show, listen to a new musician, go through some old art and try remaking something you like, study something that you've been meaning to work on, do something different that you might enjoy!

tl;dr i try and engage with a lot of art that i like, i talk to myself more than is probably healthy, and i tend to write down drawing ideas more than i actually draw! all this means is i won't run out for a long time :3 and i wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, anon! art is a challenge, and i don't back away from one if i can help it! 💜

[tubbytarchia]

still anon from the previous ask, i went to check on the "Gem doesn't want to be draw as a deer" thing and it does not make sense, in the same reddit post it says she likes seeing people draw her as a deer, she's simply talking about breaching out more with her character and brand. I wish people could interpret text better. I say don't worry too much about it, it's a case of people taking vague posts and running with it as a hard no-no. take care and draw what makes you happy!

Aghh I thought the same but didn't trust myself because I'm just upset right now at both those people and the prospect of having to give up on my design for Gem's character (though, the upset absolutely doesn't lay with Gem herself for even a moment, of course!!! Love her to bits and want her to be comfortable and her wishes respected!! I will make necessary changes if its what the lifers etc would concretely want)

Thank you for this addition, it helps ease my heart... continuing to love you lots kind anon!!

[lyranova]

Okay, last chance... to spoil you, Yuno x Neva for Love Me Like You Do with prompt 8 💝

-----

Hiya anon! *squeal* I'm so glad you asked for my babies and fed into my self-indulgence (I've been slacking off on requests and stuff lately lol 😅), and I'll admit this came out pretty long and is very hurt/comfort and angsty. Because the song you chose the lyrics for are pretty dramatic and sad, which helped fuel this lol 😆. But I hope you enjoy~!

Word Count: 2,674

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mafia AU! Mentions of death, has a happy ending!

-------

This wasn’t supposed to be how things went. They were supposed to find William, their Mafia leader, and come back to headquarters afterward, so they could re-group and plan their next attack. But that didn’t happen.

It didn’t happen that way at all.

Yuno had begged Neva not to come with him, had told her it was too dangerous and that she was too injured after the attack on their headquarters. But Neva was determined, and was going to go with him whether he wanted her there or not. The two argued back and forth before he finally relented and allowed her to come.

Oh, how she wished he had argued with her more.

After the two successfully infiltrated the Zogratis headquarters, they had decided to split up and search for William. Which seemed like a good idea in theory, at least until Neva was blindsided and hit over the head after she ran across one of the Zogratis family’s many secrets.

“ Looks like this little swan has lost her way,” The voice had taunted with an evil smile. “ Where’s her mate? Don’t swans travel in pairs?”

“ He’ll arrive later. Take her down to the basement…”

That was the last thing she heard before she blacked out.

When she awoke, she had found herself chained to barrels of accelerant with multiple different wires attached to them. Neva’s eyes widened as they followed the wires up to a metal box with a timer on it.

She struggled against the bonds that held her down in the chair, she began to shout and scream loudly, so she could let people know that she was down here and that she didn’t have much time left. But being surrounded by thick, concrete walls and with what appeared to be a heavy metal door blocking her only escape…it made her attempts futile.

At least, until she heard banging against the metal door.

“ Neva!” Yuno had shouted as he rattled the chains that kept it locked and began to bang on the door to see if it would budge. Neva felt tears well up in her eyes, he came for her…just like he had promised.

But her eyes turned to look at the clock on the timer, they only had 20 minutes before it detonated, and her eyes returned to the door. He wouldn’t be able to get it open in time, they both knew that.

“ Just go,” Neva said, her voice cracking from the tears and realization that this would be their last conversation. “ I’ll be alright, just leave!”

“ No, I’m not leaving you here!” Yuno shouted as he continued to rattle and bang on the door. It just wouldn’t budge!

“ Please go, get as many people out as you can, we only have 15 minutes left before the whole place blows up. So please just leave me here and save everyone you can!”

She suddenly heard the rattling and banging begin to slow before they stopped completely, and she swore she heard something softly hit the floor, she hoped he finally listened and decided to leave. To save himself, and any of the others that were still in the building.

“ I can’t leave you here,” She heard Yuno speak softly and she heard a soft thud against the door, as though he were sitting with his back against it. “ I won’t leave you here. If you plan on dying here, then I’m going to die here too. If you can’t leave, then I won’t leave. I’m with you for better or worse, Neva. If you live, then I’ll live. If you die…then I’ll die too.”

Neva began sobbing at this point and began to fight even harder against her restraints as she cried in agony. Her heart was angry, in pain, and was sad. Why couldn’t he be selfish just this once? Why wouldn’t he listen to her now, just like he always did? Why was this the hill he was planning to die on?!

“ Please, Please…” She begged as she continued to try to get out of this awful situation, she looked back at the timer, they only had 10 minutes left…

“ Didn’t you hear me? I said no. I refuse to live in a world without you in it, so I’m just going to sit here and talk to you until that timer goes off. And maybe, in our next life, we’ll meet again. Fall in love again. And be able to live happily ever after.” Yuno told her softly, his voice going hoarse before breaking a bit towards the end.

“ Just do me this one favor, Neva, please just let me stay here with you.” Yuno muttered softly and Neva cried before nodding her head, even though he couldn’t see it.

“ This is my last favor to you, Yuno.” She said softly, and tried to sound teasing, she heard him snort quietly on the other side of the door.

Suddenly, the couple heard footsteps running towards them and shouts.'

“ We found you! We brought the tools!” Klaus Lunettes shouted, Neva frowned as she heard shuffling and moving around on the other side of the door. She began to hear a whirring and cutting sound for a few minutes before she heard a ‘clang’ and chains fall to the floor. She watched the door open and saw Yuno, Klaus, and Mimosa standing on the other side.

Yuno smiled at her before he rushed over, held her face in his hands, and gave her a sweet kiss of relief. Which she reciprocated. He reached around behind her and began to undo the restraints before helping her up.

“ Can you walk?” He asked as he began to look her over for injuries, Neva nodded.

“ I can walk, albeit a little slower than normal.” Neva tried to joke, causing him to chuckle.

“ We don’t have much time, we need to go, now!” Mimosa shouted as she and Klaus grabbed Neva’s arms and threw them over their shoulders before they began to carry her out, with Yuno following close behind them.

When suddenly a loud gunshot rang out, causing Klaus, Neva, and Mimosa to pause and turn around. When they did, their eyes widened and a small ‘drip, drip, drip’ echoed throughout the basement. Yuno just stood there, his amber eyes wide in shock and surprise, and a huge blood stain suddenly began to appear on his chest and bleed through his white dress shirt.

“ Yuno…” Neva stammered, her voice so quiet that it barely registered as a whisper. She moved her arms and began to slowly make her way towards him when she stopped as a chuckle rang out, and Zenon Zogratis appeared behind Yuno.

“ Did you really think I was going to let you leave here?” He asked coldly and with a mad look in his eye. “ After all that you’ve done?!”

Yuno suddenly seemed to regain his sense of awareness as Zenon shouted, he suddenly took two steps back into the room where Zenon and the bomb were, and his hand reached out towards the metal door. He looked at Neva with a warm, but sad and regrettable smile.

“ And consider this my last favor to you…Neva.” He said as he began to close the door.

“ No, Yuno wait!” Neva shouted as she tried to run towards the door, the bomb on the other side only had a few seconds left, he wouldn’t make it out in time!

She screamed as she felt Mimosa and Klaus grab her arms to hold her back, she began to scream, yell, and fight against them. She couldn’t let him die like this, she couldn’t let him die alone, this wasn’t fair!

Then, the bomb went off. And Neva, along with Klaus and Mimosa, fell unconscious.

After a few days, Neva woke up, her memory of that day a little fuzzy. Until she saw the looks on everyone's faces, especially on Williams face. She began to deny it, began to yell at them all that they were playing a sick and twisted joke, and it wasn’t funny. But when she saw the looks in their eyes, and the sad shakes of their heads, she knew what they said was true:

Yuno was dead.

The moment that realization sunk in, they watched the light in her eyes instantly disappear, and watched her spiral into the darkness of grief and agony. They tried to talk to her, but she refused to speak to them, she refused to eat, she was basically a dead woman walking.

For the next few months they would watch her sit in her and Yuno’s room, or beside a window, or outside in the field where she and Yuno would lay about, and she would just look…lost. As though she were daydreaming. But William explained that wasn’t what she was doing, instead she was living inside her memories. Sometimes she would suddenly burst into tears and just scream and cry as though she were being tortured, she was breaking down, she was falling apart, and there was nothing that could fix her.

—---

6 months later

Neva quietly walked down the small street that was situated beside the river in the Capital. She never recovered after that day, the day the darkness swallowed her whole and refused to release her. In a way she didn’t mind it, she had been in this darkness before, and honestly felt quite comfortable here.

But there were times when the darkness became suffocating, and she would find herself gasping for air, begging to be released. And it would refuse, every single time.

She had left her Mafia family, even though they protested and said that she shouldn’t be alone, but she refused. Saying that she needed some time alone, and that right now their headquarters…had too many painful memories for her. So she had to leave, for her sake, and for theirs.

They had already seen so much death, sadness, and pain the last few years. They didn’t need to see anymore when they looked at her.

Her heeled boots clicked against the ground at a steady pace as she looked around. The world used to be so full of color and warmth when he was with her, but now that he was gone it was cold and grey. She laughed, who knew one person could change the world for you so much?

She continued walking until she found an area of the river where no one was at. She walked over to the railing and stared at her reflection. She hardly even recognized herself anymore. Her face was thin, her once long and shiny hair was now short and dull, and her eyes…her eyes looked completely lifeless.

The whispers of her Mafia family were right, she looked like a ghost, or more accurately a zombie.

The memory of Yuno’s words suddenly popped into her mind, they had promised to be there for each other for better or worse, and that they would live together and die together. A sad smile appeared on her face, in her next life, she hoped and prayed to any deity that was listening that she be allowed to meet him again. To fall in love with him again, and to grow old with him.

Before Neva could step up onto the railing, she felt someone's arms wrap around her waist and pull her away. She began to struggled, but they only tightened their grip.

“ Neva, don’t do it, please!”

She immediately stopped struggling and froze. That voice…that voice belonged to Yuno. But there was no way he could be alive, he died, and she saw it!

“ You’re not real,” She muttered softly as she felt tears well up in her eyes, sometimes she would get so lost in the memories of her and Yuno that they would become eerily vivid like this. She would swear she had seen him in a coffee shop, a library, sitting in their favorite field at Headquarters, or just walking down the street. But every time it turned out to be her imagination, and every time it always hurt.

“ I am real! Look, if I wasn’t real, would I be able to hold you like this?” He asked urgently as he put a little more pressure around her middle, but she still shook her head.

“ You’re not real, you died, that day in the basement of the Zogratis’s headquarters. You died…” She trailed off, Yuno sighed and turned her around in his arms. He kept one arm firmly around her waist and grabbed her hand with the other.

“ I’m not dead Neva, see? I’m right here, alive! So please…don’t do this.” He pleaded as he placed her hand on his face and looked at her with tears in his amber eyes.

Neva frowned, he felt…warm. And his skin was as smooth as it always was. She had had vivid memories, but never one this vivid. She felt tears fall onto her cheeks as her other hand shakily moved towards his chest, and she rested it on his heart.

‘Thump thump, thump thump.’.

 Neva’s eyes widened…his heart was beating! Right there, underneath her palm, he was here…he was alive.

“ We live together, we die together, remember? So if you jump off that bridge, I’m just gonna have to jump off it too.”

“ Yuno…” She suddenly began to sob as the tears flowed freely. “ Yuno!”

The man wrapped her in his arms, he hugged her tightly against his chest. He felt her shoulders shake with each sob, and his heart broke, he hadn’t meant to hurt her so much.

“ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Neva.”

“ Where were you? Why didn’t you come back to headquarters? How are you still alive?” She cried into his chest, her tears going from sadness, to shock and disbelief, and now to happy and relieved.

“ Apparently, when you were shouting for help, Asta and some of his Mafia members were underground and heard you. So they began cutting a hole into the floor, and just as the bomb went off, the floor where they had cut collapsed and I fell in. Which ended up protecting me.” Yuno said softly as he began to move pieces of her hair out of her face. “ As for my gunshot, they have a pretty good doctor in the Black Bulls, they got me to their headquarters quickly and were able to patch me up.

“ This whole time, you were with the Black Bulls?’’ Neva asked softly as her sobs turned into sniffles, and Yuno nodded.

“ I was, we all thought it would be safer in case any of the Zogratis family was still alive. But now that we’ve confirmed they aren’t I can go back to the Golden Dawn.” Yuno said softly, as his hand rubbed her back gently.

“ But,” He continued. “ There were times when I would sneak out to see you, once at a coffee shop, once in our field, and even walking down the street. Actually, you almost caught me that time on the street, which is why I disappeared for a while.” He admitted with a nervous chuckle, and she looked up at him in surprise.

“ All those times when I thought I was imagining things…it was really you? You were really there?” She asked, and he nodded in confirmation. She suddenly leaned her forehead against his chest.

“ You’re a freaking jerk.” Yuno chuckled as he kissed the top of her head and apologized.

The two stood like that for a while, their silence speaking all the words that they couldn’t say. And they just held each other, making up for the last 6 months when they were unable to.

“ Now, let’s go home, everyone’s waiting.” Yuno said softly as he pulled away from her a bit, and she nodded in agreement.

“ One thing first though,” Yuno looked at her in confusion before she jumped up, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him down into a sweet, warm kiss.

His amber eyes widened in surprise, but soon he closed them and wrapped his arms around her waist. How he missed the warmth of her kisses. How he missed the way they could tell him all of her feelings without ever letting a word slip pastime, and how he missed the way she poured all of her love for him into her kisses. Just like he would do when he would kiss her.

The couple pulled away, rested their foreheads against each other, and smiled lovingly at each other.

A beautiful bright light finally appeared, and was able to pull Neva out of the darkness, and she no longer had to live inside her memories.

------

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[raw-law]

1. Opinions on hatsune miku?

2. This is something I'm curious about, music taste. And since i don't have much idea on what either of you would listen to (if either of you even like music) I'll list some of my favorite songs!

"Bust your kneecaps" by pomplamoose

"Self care" by Penelope scott

"People eater" by Sodikken

And the last one I'm listening,

"Mucka Blucka" Cover by Chonny Jash

Light:

1. I haven't listened to any of her songs, but she's pretty famous in Japan here, isn't she? And it's probably for good reason...I hear she's been gaining popularity outside of Japan as well? So, good for her and her creator, I suppose. That's all I can say on the subject, sorry...

2. And for music taste? I rarely listen to music. On the rare occasions I do, it's one of those YouTube videos of classical music. I find that it does help, though, I just don't have any particular favourite songs. However, if I had to pick a particular 'breed' of the same genre, I'd probably pick Ghibli piano music. It's calming and relaxes the nerves; what's not to like?

Thanks for asking, Anon. Hopefully Ryuzaki can provide you with more concrete answers...music isn't really my forte.

L:

1. iconic. the greatest staple in our society to ever exist. i don't listen to any vocaloid songs, but i'm smart enough to recognize when one of the best bots in existence is programmed. i can only hope to live up to her legacy, especially with that "Anonymous M" song... oh how i yearn to return to the days of cryptic messages spread across billboards...

2. sadly, i can't give much of a concrete answer either. i try not to listen to music too much. i can't have my thoughts being drowned by ghoulish vocals. the most i really listen to is white noise, and i doubt that was the kind of answer you're looking for... if it counts, matsuda has shown me some pop songs every now and then? i never listen to them willingly, but i certainly know of them. if anything, i wish i could forget the horrors "cupid" has brought me....

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

how often is it okay to eat chocolate or desserts?

I've gotten asks like this over the last couple of days, and I have a feeling that a lot of it's from the same anon. I wish I could give you an answer that would help you feel better, anon, but I don't think that I can.

I think possibly you are looking for a concrete number of treats that you can eat to guarantee that you never experience a health problem. Unfortunately, because digestive needs and genetic bodily predispositions vary so greatly, I really do not have one concrete answer for how often it is okay to eat desserts. I'm also hesitant of posting stuff like that on this blog, because I know that a lot of people with EDs tend to get compulsive and I wouldn't want to disrupt anybody's intuitive eating journey by imposing my own personal limit on sugary treats.

I get the sense that you are very, very scared, both of eating the "wrong" things and of getting sick down the line. This is understandable. I have a chronic health condition, and being sick is scary. It sucks. But more than that, it's stigmatized, especially health conditions like diabetes that people always assume are linked to fatness. But even so, there's no morality (or lack thereof) in getting sick. Obviously we should take steps to prevent it when we are able, but the fact is that human bodies are never infallible, and people can make all the "right" choices and still become sick. Or they can become so obsessed with making all the "right" choices that that becomes a sickness in and of itself.

I really don't think I'm the person that can help you with this. Maybe you could talk about your concerns with a therapist to address where your eating concerns originated and how you can become calmer around food. If you have a nutritionist or a doctor who is more familiar with your personal health needs, they might be able to have a conversation with you about an ideal overall amount of sugar. I truly hope you are able to find a balance of foods that keep your body and soul well, anon.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello. I hope you are doing well. If possible, I would very much appreciate if you could assist me through assessing which type is more likely to be me. I have been pondering this matter for a while, and I suppose I have managed to narrow down my type to two possibilities: ISFJ and INFJ. I would like to believe that I am almost certain that about having Fe and Ti, and that my type might be the latter (INFJ). However, I wished to receive a distinct perspective from you, because I believe that it might still be possible for me to either have Si as a dominant function, or, the function order to be more different from what I had in mind, thus indicating other type that I had not put into consideration.

For more information, I am 19 years old, and I suspect having clinical depression, anxiety, and autism, as well as trauma and having issues involving difficulty recalling events in the past and lack of attention. Therefore, I believe that these factors could potentially alter the assessment.

Evidence for INFJ:

Introverted Intuition (Ni):

I feel ecstatic when I have a purpose, or something to strive for in my daily life. Ever since I was a child, that was manifested within me as a dream that I ought to achieve. There was an abstract image in my head, where I would be in a state that which not only mostly brought joy and fulfilment to myself, but to other people, too. I felt like I could contribute, somehow, and that I was meant for something rather important. I did not know through which means and processes I had to undergo, and to tell you the truth, that didn't seem to be important to me at the time. As long as I had the results that I wanted, all was well. I also remember me being eager to start working so that I could achieve whatever I had in mind at the time.

On the flip side, when I feel as if I do not know how to proceed without any guidance. I could not help but feel incredibly lost. I have been trying to find something that I can strive for and that is mostly fixed, that will not immediately be modified, because I feel uneasy at the prospect of having a goal that which has its uncertainties. This is why I no longer believe that my existence can be a significant addition to people's lives; they can leave me at any moment, for any reason.

I would like to say that I am able to synthesize information to discover interesting ideas and implications, although, I often felt that my visions hardly concretizes because they are engulfed in imagination. It feels as if my mind is “empty” and murky, and, due to the information I gained, I have a new guess that is seemingly based “out of nowhere”. An example to that would, perhaps, a couple of people that I have known of in an online platform (and it was an one-sided meeting, they likely didn't know anything about my existence. I had a gut feeling that something was very off about them, as well as their attitude. I have not seen people with such a type of behavior before. But, because I did not have any concrete evidence back then, it was just an assumption, and nothing more, so I brushed it off. Months passed, and it turned out that I was right; these two individuals were exposed as gross and despicable.

In general, I have difficulties to make decisions. I guess that, without any fixed values or support, it gets even difficult, because… what are you doing this for? Who are you doing this for? What's the meaning of it all? You are getting tired, and for who, or for what?

I think an example to that would be my studies. I have been needing to talk myself into not succumbing into sleeping and waking up early to review the subjects, because I don't see much purpose in doing that (even though I would find myself satisfied at the ending, for managing to succeed a goal).

I suppose another instance would be the fact that I practically gave up on making friendships in real life within educational settings. Why should I do that? It's not like we are going to keep contact after we are done with our exams. I have a hard time with initiating conversations because I struggle to find anything to talk about, and it is not uncommon for the other party to not reach out, either. Therefore, in most of the cases in my lifetime, this “friendship” is set up to fail due to seemingly mutual lack of interest.

I am always trying to visualize and predict how a situation will play, and, due to that, I end up rehearsing and preparing myself for when it eventually happens. It's as automatic as breathing; it's not something that I can just stop at will. I always try to foresee the “ideal” reactions that others will have at what I do or say, as well as the “ideal” place and time for that. This is why I do not tend to enjoy people who have an often an unpredictable personality, because they make me feel genuine dread. For such people, I take more time to try to guess how my interaction with them will go. Even then, I am not totally confident that the idea that I had in my mind may even become true. Perhaps I am a perfectionist who feels terrible when their ideals are not concretized. An example to that is when I manage to set a scenario in a conversation with people, and it concretizes almost flawlessly, with only a few tolerable changes, I get frustrated when someone or something, that I did not call for to be part of it, decides to interfere by inserting its existence in it, modifying it almost immediately.

As for controlling tendencies… I think I can relate to that, to some degree. My controlling urges manifest as a desire to “fix” something, to go in a different way. An instance would be when someone does something that I find “unacceptable” (even though their action is not really engulfed with ill intent). My initial thoughts are, “That's not how you should behave. That's not how it should go.” However, most of the time, I simply puts such thoughts aside because I know that I should not behave like that.

I suppose the quality of my life is determined by aspirations, yes, and whenever I could not follow them, as well as my ideals that I imposed on myself, I felt as if my life got progressively bad, in a sense. An example is when I wanted to be an artist (mostly for fun, although I did consider it as a possible career one time, only to be discouraged). When it reached a point where I could no longer draw due reasons like lack of motivation, lack of free time, and distaste towards my style, I decided to quit. I felt as if my days got more dull after taking such a decision.

I often find myself feeling as if nothing that I do has any significance — it does not help that I have decided to make nihilism a philosophical part of me, recently. Whenever I contemplate the thought of my future being uncertain, opaque, and not meeting my expectations, I suffer. I fear that the life of happiness and comfort with the people that I adore will never occur, and that I will be stuck in here, in eternal pain, unwanted and unneeded. When I contemplate the thought of not being able to afford a home of my own where I can not only be myself, but also, to be much more happier than I am, it brings a pain to my stomach. I failed at everything that I promised to myself, because my disabilities wouldn't allow me to be an “overachiever” anymore.

I can say that, while do I tend to not have an enjoyable time individuals who were described like that in the guide (“brash”, “shallow”, “fickle”, “narrow-minded”, etc), it should be said that I used to be like that, too. I recognize myself in these descriptions, and, as such, I don't dislike them as much. Still, I don't like to entertain the thought of being perceived as either shallow or narrow-minded, and I make conscious efforts to be not seen like that. My answer on this is twisted and contradictory.

In terms of feedback, one of the only things that would apply to me would be “vague”, “too serious”, “distant” and “unfun”. These were ones that were directly spoken to me, and that I remember.

I remember the fact that me being vague and biased led me to have troubles with my family; they wanted more precise information, not something that could be interpreted wrongly. Therefore, as a result, I forced myself to be as detailed, clear, and precise in my explanations as I could. But that's not something natural.

It is a pattern that I prefer living in my own head instead of being present in the reality. I was even called out on it, saying that not everything is “the perfect fantastic world of my room”, which is where I tend to be most of the time to engulf myself in my daydreaming and find comfort. The reason why such a phrase was associated with me is because, rather than allowing myself to learn essential life skills, I willingly let myself be trapped in my own bubble.

I look at my online friends enjoying themselves in whatever activity they are, and I cannot help bit want to be a part of it to some degree. However, rather than taking any initiative and trying to make new experiences myself, I fantasize about the scenarios of interactions in my head, I encounter me being amused with just their conversations.

As for unrealistic expectations, I suppose an example to that would be my tendency to think that I can still do the things that I used to do as a child, with little to no difficulty. I believe that my disabilities are not “that bad” and that “they won't interfere in my life”, and that I do not require support from other people. It's faulty and illogical, I am aware of that, but I still try to press on, thinking that I can still handle it.

In the same coin, I have also been having the proclivity to see my life as “over”. It's too late for me now, I wasted the opportunities I had. If only I had snatched the chances, if only I were not too fatigued to do such things, if only I had not fooled around during all this time… I shall have to endure the pain now. I doomed myself.

Now, onto my evidences for Se being an inferior function…

Extraverted Sensing (Se):

I appear to have troubles with impatience. When I am forced to stay away from my habitual environment to do something that requires either a lot of processing, or, being aware of my reality, I get restless and irritated, wanting to get over with it as soon as possible so that I can be left alone and/or resume whatever activity I was previously doing, frequently not considering the consequences and repercussions of having such a brash temperament. I guess such a tendency is another reason why I can often be blundering, and this is may be why I often make repeated mistakes.

Whenever I reach a breaking point, I simply need to be left alone, dwelling on the feeling. This has happened several times, where I would cry in front of people due to an undesired change (or an implication of a change) that, to others, did not mean much, but it meant a lot to me. I would feel myself paralyzed, static, unmoving, and almost silent. The intention is not to manipulate others in order to get attention and support. In fact, I do not want their comfort and sympathy at all! I simply wanted to dwell on that for a while, until I felt myself better to proceed. Ignore me and my existence. If you tried to support me, I would most likely not give it a heed, because the world around me is blurry.

I have a policy that, even though it does not work perfectly now, and I know how flawed it may seem, I still cannot seem to let go of it: “Work now, have fun later.”

As a child, I would often place focus on my work. The sooner I finished it, the sooner I could find myself relaxing and enjoying my free time. However, nowadays, I sense a reversion at play; whenever I try to focus on a task involving college, I suddenly decide, “No, this is getting tiring. I am going to listen to music/rest/scroll through social medias/talk to my friends.” And I don't seem to have notion of time passing, so, when the day ends, and I realize that I was not as productive as I wanted to be, I feel guilty, and sometimes even punish myself because of that. I recently decided to implement break sessions to my studies (because I have never had that). But, even then, when I am working, there is this urge to procrastinate even when it's within my study sessions.

Another example would be in this semester in my college. I was so fatigued and fed up with my studies, as well as issues related to my mental health, that I could not find will in myself to give attention to what my teacher was saying in regards to his subject. That was an occasion that was uncharacteristic of me, as I always tried to at least give my utmost focus to my classes and studies, since I appear to lack attention in almost every other area. Abruptly, I decided that I would do well conversing with my online friends in the middle of the lecture. It did not do much, though, as I still felt awful.

I also realized that I have the proclivity to only pay attention to my surroundings in order to complete a goal. Generally speaking, I tend to feel anxious whenever that happens. This is elaborated on my comment about my family calling me “vague”; I forcibly developed the ability to speak in great amounts of details because my explanations were seemingly lacking. On the days of exam, I always tend to quickly and desperately skim through my papers in order to refresh my mind of the details, because I know that it does not matter if I understand the general concept, there might be something in specific that I do not remember that is most likely going to be present in my tests. Other than that, I cannot bring myself to be fully present. The issues were already present even before I found out I often have depressive and dissociative episodes; I was (and I still am) often called out for not being attentive.

Onto the auxiliary…

Extraverted Feeling (Fe):

For example of resisting Fe, I have developed the habit of distancing myself from others whenever I feel as if my presence is not wanted or needed, I am not doing well, but I would rather not tell anyone and simply isolate myself, or that I did something that hurt someone I cared about (regardless of them confirming that directly). I also have been keep my relationships at an arm's length because I fear that, if I get too attached, in the long run, it is going to wound me even further should they leave me (or I decide to leave them, because they wronged me). Nevertheless, I still find myself craving for emotional intimacy, even though I also fear it.

I have a difficult time seeing people having differences and complexities of their own, specially when I see myself in them (or when we are too alike). An instance would be making a type of joke that I think the other person would find amusing because that is what I would find laughable. There have been occasions where I genuinely hurt people with my antics, and that I have not realized that I did that until it was too late. I was under the impression that we were having a good time, and that they were not taking it seriously. I was incorrect in that, however. I can hardly tell whenever I go too far with my jesting, so, because of that, I got into the habit of making little to no jokes, having a “humourless” demeanor in the process. That is something that I am trying to change, however, and I do make sure that the jokes, as unfunny as they may seem at times, are not harmful.

The greatest example that I can provide of overindulging Fe is silently allowing people who are close to me to unintentionally overstep boundaries that which I have established. They are a great addition to my life, and they contribute positively to my happiness. But, sometimes, they will do things that make me uncomfortable without meaning to. And, I quietly endure it whenever that happens, giving excuses to not remind them not to do that, because they are either going through an arduous time, or, the interaction that we are having is very entertaining and joyful… I don't want to ruin it — or make it worse, should they feel bad during the conversation — with my selfish reminders. I am too afraid of doing that, because it's not the right moment. I can certainly handle the discomfort; right now, they are more significant. Their thoughts on me are very important, and I wouldn't want them to think negatively of me in any manner. I often sacrifice my own needs and thoughts in order to meet theirs. I nod to some ideas that they have — reasonable ideas, of course, not those that could be extremely harmful — even though, many times, I don't initially agree with them, or have different thoughts because their concept is not what I had in mind. My values, opinions, and ideals, though seemingly rigid, commonly shift quickly when I meet a new person and I desire them to stay in my life. It's a chance to make a new friend, so, I often try to find common ground between my perspective and theirs, and if I have to change an opinion of mine for that, so be it. I am often dreadful that my friends might despise me in some manner, due to a wrongdoing that I may have done to them at some point. Because of that, in an eventful day, they decide to either leave me behind and cut ties with me, or, severely scrutinize me.

I am afraid that I am not sure if I can provide a great instance of “healthy Fe”. I actually believe that I am quite unhealthy. However, I will try.

In occasions where it is perceived that my Fe is healthier, I frequently give room for others to place their thoughts in situation first, before I say anything. Sometimes, I will even incorporate some of their takes and concepts into my belief system, sucking them like a sponge (although, I am aware that type of behavior can, too, be considered unhealthy). I will try to understand their side to the best of my capabilities. This means a lot for someone like me, who, admittedly, tends to be quite self-centered and does not often regard other people's views. This part of me got diminished over the years, however, due to me willfully wishing to change that. I have a more fair comprehension of people, holding a less partial nature, and being more respectful of their boundaries and wishes. I will do antics if it means I can put on a smile in another person's face.

Now, onto the next function…

Introverted Thinking (Ti):

For a moment, I thought I would be a thinking type because I have been shown to be logical-driven; I often put emphasis on reason, and on things that make sense. Yet, whenever my seemingly sound declarations are put into question, or, I sense that someone is judging me with a criticizing tone, I flinch in fear, because I cannot quite explain further than what I had planned to say. This logic is mostly performative, it is based by other people's reactions.

Whenever people would praise me, they would mention my “intelligence”. And, to tell you the truth, I was proud to know that. It basically went over my head. And, nowadays, being as self-deprecating as I am, I genuinely reached a point where I see being smart as my only redeemable trait, the only thing that I am actually positive about myself. If I am not even intellectually exceptional, then… I don't have anything to talk about myself as a person in a positive light.

I am a fairly emotional and sensitive person, and, like I previously said on a few occasions as while writing this, I am terribly self-centered. That combination is not great, because that would mean that I could not feel joy for a friend who was happy for something good happened to them, when I was suffering. I was mostly thinking about how I was feeling, and that I wanted the person to feel the same.

I learnt, though harshly, that having intense emotions to certain topics, as well as being as egotistical as I used to be, wouldn't do me good. People could take advantage of that, or get away from me. In situations where I would explode in anger during arguments (justifiably or not), such a reaction only made the situation worse on my end. So, I decided to try to supress my emotions at once, thus making myself appear detached to them, and emphasizing rationality. And, I could not see that not expressing them properly could be unhealthy in any manner. I often think how I am aware of my flaws and my wrongdoings, but, when it comes to emotions, I simply put them aside. “I don't get upset easily. What else do you want to know about it?”

I adopted the principle of being impartial to most topics unless I have a deep understanding on things, because “that is the most logical thing to do”, and, “I would rather not share my immediate opinion on something until I have enough information than to quickly form a view on something I may not be knowledgeable at all.” That's hasty, and we don't want to do that, my view may immediately and probably suffer change as I gain information, and in order to not be perceived as someone who modifies their thoughts in the blink of an eye, I would rather just watch and see. Until I have fully comprehended it, I will not speak at all. I would take it to such an extreme that I often disregard my initial feelings on the matter in other to be as neutral as I can.

I have this desire of being as accurate in my judgment as I can, not only in order to make me proud, but in order to please others, too. The more precise, the better, is what I tend to think, because it is more efficient and brings more satisfying results in this manner, even if it may be energetically draining at times.

Now, here is my argument for why ISFJ could be plausible.

Evidence for ISFJ:

Introverted Sensing (Si):

I often feel comfortable when something in the concrete world happens exactly as I expected it to happen, and I get immediately thrown off by sudden changes. When I don't know what to do in a new situation that which is unlike anything I have ever experienced, I almost immediately find myself shaking. An example to that would be the time where I had to take the train to go to a course of mine from a different track by myself. I was feeling quite desperate, because I did not know that, regardless of which track it could take, such a vehicle would lead you to the same path. This information never came to me about that because it was assumed that I already knew of such a thing.

I am not certain if I can fully relate to the “when feeling low, I compare my negative experiences in the past with my positive experiences in the past” statement. Perhaps, as an instance, I could attribute that to my frequent astonishment whenever I speak to literally anyone I have not spoken in a good while. I perceive their changes in their physics, as well as their personality, and I compare to what they were like when I first met them. Sometimes, the alterations are so drastic that it does not feel like I'm speaking to the same person! It feels a little odd, to tell you the truth. Then, I compare myself, and I notice that… I may not have changed a lot. Sometimes, that makes me feel a little upset, because I feel like I should change to some degree, too, but there is this sensation that I am “stuck”, somehow, and that I am unable to proceed in life because of that.

In terms of feedback, I was called stubborn and narrow-minded a few times because I would often go do things in my way, even if they were made in the “wrong” way. It is simply because I got used to do it in such a manner. An example to that would be my family teaching me how to clean the floor with a broom. I guess it's because of my carelessness with physicality that I cannot quite sweep exactly in the way they want me to sweep, but, I cannot quite seem to stop doing it, even when I know that it is not in that way.

I would say that, although I do enjoy to have some routine in order to bring a sensation of stability to my life, I am not fully averse to change. However, it ought to occur in my terms, or be something minor (and even then, I am not always pleased at the possibility from the latter statement).

A manner at which I acquire knowledge is when I recognize patterns and immediately assume that it's going to happen like this because of experience. For example, whenever someone quietly stares at me in a certain way, due to something that I most likely did “wrong”, I swiftly assume they are going to speak something, and if I know the answer, I respond to their unspoken question as soon as possible because, as well as not handling the silent judgment, it has always been like this. For other example, I notice that, for food that I have never tasted, I take a look at its texture, appearence, and smell, and envision the taste in my mouth. When I do that, I tend to compare the possible flavor it has with the flavors of any dishes that I have had in the past before even trying it. This way, I immediately have an assumption of what it is like, and whether I will most likely be prone to enjoy or dislike the nourishment.

I like to go with already established procedures because, as well as providing a sensation of security and familiarity, it is more efficient to go by them, as thinking of alternative processes to take can be quite taxing. Even if the standard instructions do not always work for me, I still try to follow them.

Now, for the inferior function…

Extraverted Intuition (Ne):

I am a person who tends to mostly see only the negative outcomes that a possible action can lead to. Sometimes, in moments of stress, I will allow myself to indulge in more optimistic scenarios. Although, these thoughts are short-lived, and in a matter of seconds, I find myself falling into the urge of being pessimistic once again, automatically thinking of the worst and mentally preparing myself for it (assuming that I cannot avoid it). An example to that could be when teachers in high school go with an approach to their tests and exams that which differs from the standard. I don't remember if they warned beforehand, but, I think they did not do that. I break down because I am certain that I will fail, and thus repeat the year, and that makes me awfully afraid of how my future is going to turn out.

Admittedly, describing what an inferior Ne looks like to me is where it gets tricky, because I feel as if I either have not experienced an Ne grip at all, or, my bad memory makes it arduous to recall if I have had any more moments of grip, or, it is actually because Ne is not present at all (or it is actually a higher function). Hence, this is why this argument looks short. However, I still believed the possibility for ISFJ due to the fact that I believe that I have some similar tendencies that Si dominant users tend to have.

That is it. Thank you very much for reading it thus far. I hope that my analysis has followed the correct requirements for the assessment.

----------------------

I don't think dominant Si and inferior Ne fit very well, whereas INFJ functions fit better. I agree that INFJ is most likely correct.

[not-poignant]

When it comes to your original fiction did you post them on tumbler before making them available as an e-book. I want to write original work but am scared of posting it on here or a03.

Hi anon!

I actually personally (I can't stress this enough, this is a me thing) really hate posting (and reading) fic on Tumblr. You can't tag it properly and people can't filter it out effectively, it's a pain to read (lots of scrolling), and it's a pain to archive. So that was definitely never an option for me!

My original novels never went anywhere before they became novels, partly because if you 'dry run' stories like that, Amazon and other distributors can get tetchy and say it's no longer a first edition and sometimes even pull your ebooks offline without enough paperwork, lol. So I just...would not do that because even if it all works out, knowing how other authors have been treated re: this issue, I would not!

I'm a big believer in just kind of taking the leap and putting fic up wherever you feel comfortable. If that's AO3 or Tumblr, then do it! The fear is normal, it is a normal part of writing, and a normal part of facing that gap between 'only I've seen it' to 'now other people will see it.' The good news is you can always delete the fic if you don't like it. On AO3 you can delete any comments you don't like. But those kinds of worst case scenarios are incredibly rare.

What's (sadly) more likely is just that not many people will necessarily read it at first, until more people start finding your writing and your tags, and that can take a little time!

It can be good sometimes to sit down and really figure out what you're scared of re: posting a story. Because a lot of the fears have concrete answers:

Scared of people hating it? Most people will just click away if it's not their thing, and if they try and make it your problem, you can delete and/or block everything to do with them.

Scared no one will notice it? Well, that is actually a normal part of writing for almost all of us when we just start out. You're part of a huge community of writers experiencing exactly the same thing you are. You are never alone as a writer, even when it feels lonely. Sometimes you can find Discords and similar groups to get more notice, but often it's just a matter of taking the time to put more words out there.

Scared someone will be mean to you? Understandable! However, you don't deserve bullying from anyone. Block these people and then go find a space that feels good to you or watch something that feels wholesome or go outside or do something that doesn't feel 'chronically online.' (It's amazing how much trolls don't matter as much when you're looking at a sunset, or eating your favourite food).

These are all pretty universal fears in writing (and the arts) before posting something, and after posting something, and I wish I could tell you they'll all go away one day, but I think what happens for many of us instead is that we learn more tools to deal with these fears. It helps knowing that most folks get them to some degree, and most of us have learned ways to deal with them - that's why authors will tell you to block trolls and delete troll comments, and that's why authors will reassure you that they started out in a place where no one noticed them at first too, and that's why authors will sometimes talk about how folks have been mean to them and how they were impacted by it, but also remembered to ground / reminded themselves who their real friends are - and that doesn't necessarily stop the fear and the pain, but the solidarity can help.

Post your writing on Tumblr (ignore my personal thoughts on Tumblr fiction, that's just my feelings and they are not universal lol, lots of people love Tumblr fics), post it on AO3, post it on Tumblr first and then AO3 later!

AO3 is a great place to put fics, because you can write about anything and put it up literally any time, and even orphan it / make it anonymous or delete it if you want to. You have complete creative control.

You'll never get to see what's on the other side of your fears if you don't take the leap.

But it's also okay if you're just not ready yet. :)