#i’m so sweet and funny and loyal like a dog

[emimayooo]

can everyone be my friend. I’m so fucking good at it.

[sanarsi]

Man’s Love

no-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel is your neighbor who doesn't hide his feelings for you and won't give up on winning your heart despite your rejections. Warnings: +18, MDNI, age gap (reader is 34, Joel is 40), smutttt with soft!dom!Joel (exactly how you like him), friends(?) to lovers trope, fingering, unprotected PIV Wordcount: 3,5k An: So again… I’m just a slut, you’re just a slut, we’re happy about it, enjoy bestie xx Music I worked with: OMG What’s Happening - Ava Max

Masterlist

You were happy.

You were fulfilled.

You lacked nothing.

A small house by the ocean, a stable job, friends.

But your neighbor thought differently.

Joel Miller would randomly run into you on his way home from the store at least once a week. Too bad the store was in a completely different direction. And at least once a week he invited you out for dinner, a glass of wine, a walk, and a million other things.

His intentions were clear. He never hid how much he liked you when he moved here. Oh man, he was crazy about you.

On the first day he came with a bottle of the best wine to get to know you. He was handsome, charming, funny and talkative. He definitely didn't miss anything. He even managed to steal one kiss from you. But he wanted something more. He wanted something permanent.

And you? You didn't need problems.

You thought you were too old for puppy love. Your previous relationships always gave you headaches. So why should it be any different with him?

That's why you refused him every time. Every time you told him that nothing would come of it. That you weren't what he was looking for.

But it didn't discourage him even for a moment.

Every few days you would find fresh flowers under your window, a basket of fruit that grew in his garden or colorful seashells. Every time you accepted his gifts with amusement.

Oh, he fucking fell for you. He was in love like a teenager. Even when you pushed him away he couldn't stop smiling. You looked beautiful when you tried to be mad at him because he came to you like a loyal dog again. But you couldn't and always ended up laughing, amused by his stubbornness.

He loved coming to your house and sitting on the wall watching you do ordinary things. How you hang laundry, how you care for your flowers, even how you read a stupid newspaper while ignoring him.

Despite his advances, your relationship was friendly. You sometimes went shopping together in the city. Joel sometimes fixed something in your house. You sometimes brought him sweet baked goods. You met at parties you organized for friends.

Yeah… Joel was a friend.

Even when he visited you just to convince you to like him more than just a friend. Like today. On Valentine's Day.

He stood before you with a bouquet of red lilies, a bottle of wine, and a small gift bag. He smiled broadly when he saw your surprise when you opened the door. Frowning, you looked at him carefully, scanning every inch of his body.

"Joel..." you started, sighing from exhaustion.

"Before you start saying you don't need a relationship," he interrupted you, holding up a dark bottle. "I brought your favorite wine," he said, smiling like an idiot. You blinked a few times, looking from him to the bottle of wine. He was so proud of himself that you couldn't help but roll your eyes and smile a little. "Come on, sweet girl. You can't say no to me," he encouraged you, and you just burst out laughing, shaking your head in amusement.

"Fine," you nodded and stepped aside. His smile only widened as he approached, pressing a bouquet of fragrant flowers into your hands and pressing a firm kiss to your cheek. With a quiet laugh, you closed the door behind him and followed him deeper into the house.

Joel felt at home here. He immediately started bustling around the kitchen, preparing everything he thought was necessary. Humming to himself the song that was playing quietly on the radio, he pulled out two glasses and began preparing snacks from what he found in the fridge. You put the bouquet in a vase and silently admired their intensely sweet scent. Joel always knew which flowers to choose to bring a smile to your face.

Or simply anything he did would bring a smile to your face.

Just like that.

You managed to put the vase on the table in the living room when he had already prepared everything on the terrace. You watched with amusement as he walked back and forth almost in a dance step.

He needed so little to be happy.

The sight of you was enough.

You went out onto the terrace and after a moment the music on the radio got louder. You shook your head and sat down at a small table. You grabbed one olive and popped it into your mouth the moment Joel left the house holding two glasses and an open bottle of wine.

"That thing you call a corkscrew should have ended up in the trash a long time ago" he said lightly and put everything on the table. You leaned back comfortably in the chair raising your eyebrows with a smile.

"Just because you don't know how to use it doesn't mean it's broken" you replied watching as he poured the golden alcohol into half of each glass.

"If you can use it then you're a witch" he said glancing at you before he put the bottle down and handed you one glass.

"You only noticed now?" you laughed under your breath. Joel plopped down in the chair across the table with a sigh. You took a sip of wine, looking out at the waves crashing against the stones.

“Yeah, that would explain why I am crazy about you,” he said, sipping his wine slowly. You raised an eyebrow at him in amusement. “You know, all those love spells and stuff,” he shrugged. You reached across the table and smacked his arm. Joel laughed under his breath, moving out of your reach.

“Idiot,” you muttered under your breath. You took a sip of wine and he bent down, reaching under the chair. You looked at him as he held out a small gift bag to you. You set your glass on the table and glanced suspiciously at the gift and back at him.

“Joel-“

“Yeah, I know. Just open it,” he interrupted you and nodded encouragingly at the bag.

You took the gift, still not convinced by the whole idea. You took out a small decorative box and your gaze immediately fell on Joel. He nodded again encouragingly and took a sip of wine, watching with a small smile. You rolled your eyes and continued until the glint of a thin bracelet made you stop. You stared at the thin chain with a pendant in the shape of your favorite flower. You felt a lump in your stomach as you tried to swallow. It was beautiful. Perfect for you.

You glanced at Joel who was watching you carefully as you took the bracelet out of the box. You looked at it closely, wondering how much money he had to spend on it. Fuckin’ idiot.

"Joel, I can't-"

"Yeah, I know. Let me put it on you," he interrupted you, already kneeling next to you. He took the jewelry from you and gently fastened it on your wrist. His warm touch sent a wave of shivers through your body. He grabbed your hand and looked at how the ornament looked on you before leaning down, placing a soft kiss on the back of your hand. “It’s bad luck to return gifts,” he said with a wink before returning to his seat. You looked at him, unable to say anything.

You looked at your wrist again with the new trinket and wanted to start cursing him for it. Why did he give you such gifts if you kept rejecting him? He didn't gain anything from it.

But you had to admit that you felt warmth in your heart.

A warmth you didn't want to feel.

You defended yourself from him as much as you could and yet somehow he broke through the walls around you. He made you feel like you were the center of his universe. You felt desired by someone. And you were just a human being with human needs and desires.

Fuckin’ Joel Miller.

"Do you like it?" he asked, breaking the silence that had been prolonged by your thoughts.

You smiled fondly and nodded. You finally looked at him. "Yes. Very much" you said which made butterflies flutter in his stomach.

He felt like a stupid teenager around you. And he wasn't going to let that feeling get lost because of your stubbornness.

Because Joel had already learned everything about you. And he knew that the only reason you refused him was fear. Fear that you would give him your time and end up with nothing.

The best way to avoid a broken heart?

Don't let anyone in.

But unfortunately you came across the most stubborn man in the world.

And it was with this stubborn man that you spent half the night, laughing, drinking another bottle of wine and talking about stupid things. It was with this stubborn man that you danced at sunset to radio songs. It was with this stubborn man that you felt like you were seventeen again.

Standing in his arms you let him lead the slow dance. His wide smile making you smile as he told you yet another stupid story.

"Yeah and then she looked at me like I was an idiot" he said and you threw your head back and started laughing. He loved watching you laugh. You looked so radiant then. His arm tightened around your waist.

"I'm not surprised" you said looking at him again. His gaze was so damn warm when he looked at you.

With love.

With love which you forbade him.

He stared at you like you were a work of art.

And only after a while you notice that you were just standing in the middle of the terrace. His arms wrapped around you and the calm music in the background. You gently tightened your fingers on his arm, feeling that he was walking on thin ice.

“Joel-“

"Have I told you how beautiful you look when you're happy?" he interrupted you. You blinked with your lips parted. But the damn wine made you snort under your breath.

"Yeah, three times this week," you said, amused.

"I like it when you're happy with me," he admitted, looking at you with a tender smile.

"You keep making me happy, so there's no other option," you laughed sweetly, and only when you noticed his gaze did you understand what came out of your mouth. You froze with your lips parted.

"I make you happy?" he raised an eyebrow, teasing you. He loved catching you by your words. In moments like these, he often got things he wanted out of you.

"Did you get me drunk on purpose?" you asked, frowning.

"Are you?" he asked with a smirk. You rolled your eyes with a wide smile.

"No, but that's not-"

"And you're still happy?" he interrupted you. You looked at him and your smile dimmed a bit. He was serious. And he was looking at you seriously. He waited for your answer. He waited for you to understand.

“Joel, we’ve talked about this so many times. Please.”

“Please for what? To stop making you happy?”

He hit the nail on the head.

You fell silent, realizing how hopeless this all seemed.

That you were the problem.

Not him. Not that he was pushing. Not that he was a pain in the ass.

You.

His hand found its way to your cheek, gently stroking your skin. You looked at him with those big, shiny eyes like a startled deer, and he couldn't help but want to finally cross the line.

"Baby, please," he said softly, sliding his fingers down your jaw to your chin. "I just need one chance." He stroked your chin with his thumb, leaning in a little closer. Your heart was pounding in your chest. "I won't ask for more." He ran his thumb over your bottom lip. Your hot breath bounced off his skin. "One chance," he whispered, nuzzling your nose. You could barely breathe as you watched him intently from so close. "I promise." His lips brushed against yours with every word and then you were gone.

Your eyelids fell and your body stopped resisting his closeness. And he felt it immediately. His lips were on yours in less than a second. He started slowly and gently not wanting to scare you away. His arms held tightly to him not allowing any space between you. But when your hands wrapped around his neck, he allowed his tongue to sneak into your mouth.

You didn't push him away.

So he started kissing you harder.

You gasped into his mouth as his tongue began to dominate yours. He kissed like he was hungry.

And he was.

He was hungry for you like a mad man.

You didn't even notice when he pressed you against the wall, his hands gripping your hips. You moaned into his mouth, tangling your fingers in his hair. You clenched your fingers around them, trying to return his intense kisses. But you failed.

So his lips moved to your neck. You threw your head back, panting heavily as his tongue left wet marks on your skin and his teeth, bites. His whole body pressed you against the cold wall as his hands began to slide down your thighs, squeezing every inch of your soft skin. He groaned thirstily into your neck as his hands began to roll up your dress so he could get to your underwear. You did nothing to stop it.

His lips collided with yours again, making you moan. His tongue immediately found yours, just like his fingers the elastic of your panties. And he couldn't wait when he finally had you so close.

His hand dove into your panties and his fingers immediately found your wet slit. You both moaned at the same time before his mouth attacked yours again. You dug your nails into the back of his neck as his fingers began to spread the wetness along the length of your pussy. Your knees trembled beneath you as he teased your clit with every movement.

You panted, trying to kiss him back, and you clung to him tighter as his fingers entered you. He rested his forehead against yours, letting you breathe. He watched you as you both panted against each other's mouths as he fucked you with his fingers.

"You're fucking beautiful," he breathed heavily. You looked up from his lips to his eyes, moaning louder as he curled his fingers inside you.

It had been so long since anyone had touched you that it didn't take much to feel your orgasm approaching. You tightened around his fingers and gripped his neck tighter. His lips began to place slow, wet kisses on yours. His cock was already painfully hard when he had you in front of him like this. Your moans sounded even better than in his dreams.

“Joel…”

Oh and his name on your lips made him shiver in his pants. Your fucking voice alone brought him pleasure. He was like a horny teenager who finally got into someone’s panties. But the difference was that now he knew how to take care of a woman.

That's why when you came on his fingers he felt so damn proud. He kissed every moan that escaped your lips before he pulled his fingers out of you, letting your orgasm begin to soak through your panties.

You were already drunk from his touch when he attacked your lips, starting to drag you into the house. You submitted to everything he did, moaning every time you hit each wall, too absorbed in each other. Joel managed to get rid of his shirt before he started unbuttoning your dress. You hungrily responded to his every kiss as your fingers worked to fasten his pants. Finally your dress fell to the floor.

Joel pressed you against the wall and his hands immediately began to explore your bare skin. He embraced your waist with one hand and his other hand found its way to your breast. You moaned into his mouth when he gently squeezed his fingers and his thumb ran over your nipple which immediately hardened under his touch.

You finally managed to unbutton his pants and you were about to plunge your hand into them but then Joel pushed you back and you landed on the soft mattress. You supported yourself on your elbows, panting heavily as he took off his pants and boxers in one move. You slid down his body thirstily.

You fell back onto the bed with a smile and slid your panties off and threw them at him. Joel laughed under his breath as they bounced off his chest and fell to the ground. You bit your lip in excitement as his body finally walled up above yours.

He hummed in satisfaction at the smile you were trying to hold back. He leaned down connecting your lips in a sweet kiss. You placed your hands on his cheeks holding him close to you. And you had to admit that it felt so damn good.

You felt his tip slide through your wet slit, making you gasp. And when he slowly entered you, you both broke the kiss, moaning into each other's mouths. Joel rested his forehead against yours, panting heavily as he buried his entire cock inside you. It took him a few seconds to wrap his head around the fact that he was finally inside you before he started moving his hips.

You tangled your fingers in his hair as he began to kiss your neck. His cock slowly rubbed against your sweet spot. He groaned as he thrust into you all the way over and over again. His hands slid down to your waist and hips and he gripped them tightly to hold you in place as he began to thrust into you with more energy.

Harder.

Deeper.

Until your legs began to tremble.

You closed your eyes, arching your back as his cock brought you closer to the edge with each thrust. He straightened up, panting heavily, and looked down at you as you arched in pleasure. He ran his eyes down your naked body, feeling like he'd won the fucking lottery. You looked like all of his fantasies came true.

Probably because you were his only fantasy.

His gaze fell on the spot where his cock disappeared inside you.

Oh fuck.

His hips slowed as he began to enjoy the sight of your wet pussy surrounding him perfectly. He growled throatily, stroking his hand over your thighs.

"You look amazing taking my cock like this," he said, making you moan. Not only was he a good fucker, but he also used dirty words. And who was perfect for who here?

His hands gripped your hips again as he sped up his thrusts into you. The air left your lungs and your ragged moans mixed with his soft growls. You clenched around him, feeling the pleasure too intense. And Joel continued to thrust into you like an animal.

“Oh baby I hope you’re close because I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold back,” he breathed, watching your face bathed in pleasure.

"Yes, yes" you almost squealed feeling like you were fighting for an orgasm with every movement he made. Joel smiled with satisfaction and leaned down to connect your lips. But the kiss quickly turned into an exchange of moans.

You dug your nails into his skin not knowing what to do with your hands as his cock hit the sensitive spot in your pussy every time. Until finally you felt a wave of orgasm take over your body. You moaned loudly clenching on him hard barely allowing him to move inside you.

"Oh fuck baby," he groaned feeling your orgasm perfectly along the entire length of his cock. And he didn't stop thrusting hard into you, prolonging your pleasure and chasing his own.

Your cunt creamed his cock so hard that the wet sounds could be heard in the room every time he entered you. Until he began thrusting slowly but so hard that the bed hit the wall as he came, moaning loudly. He thrust into you a few more times, coming deep inside you.

Your wet foreheads rested against each other as you both panted heavily. Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt your body relax from the weight of your orgasm. Joel leaned down connecting your lips in a soft and slow kiss and you wrapped your arms around him, tangling your fingers in his wet hair.

“One chance,” he whispered against your lips, glancing into your eyes. You fell silent, watching him and pursed your lips as a soft smile spread across yours.

“Okay,” you nodded quietly before his lips crushed yours again.

[writing-with-moss]

TF141- what their type would be/ a little bit abt how they’d be as partners

(authors note) this is pure headcanon, but I try to stay close to canon as much as possible going off of their personalities, much love, Moss <3

Ghost~ this man is not picky when it comes to looks, he views it as pretty shallow and vain to focus so much on someone’s physical appearance. But he’s into all the normal stuff, good hygiene, good health. But personality? He needs someone patient, this man is a PTSD riddled introvert with trust issues, he’s gonna need someone who will wait for him to warm up. I think he also needs someone who would be fine with him keeping secrets and being deployed for so long. And with what happened to his family I think he would have insane commitment issues or keep their relationship super underwraps. But I would never see him as abusive or cruel or generally mean, he’s not a bad person. Maybe in a different AU but in my headcanons he’s a pretty good boyfriend/fiancé/husband. I honestly can’t see him with a bimbo!reader or someone super stupid or over the top sexual (no offense to any writers who write bimbo!readers, they’re honestly kinda cute just doesn’t fit my headcanon). Also they gotta like his dog.

Soap~ I think Soap would go for someone with a little curve to them (this man loves some ass I’m sorry I don’t make the rules). I also think he would want someone from Scotland or Ireland or generally in that area, would love the accent and needs someone who understands what the fuck he’s saying (Scotland 🤝 Ireland). He would want someone pretty funny, someone he can banter with and have fun. This man’s super sweet, and an all around nice guy, so I think he’d want someone who would match his energy a bit. He’d want an extrovert because Soap (in my mind) is a very social dude and wants to show of his significant other <333. I can’t imagine him sharing his partner or doing threesomes (no offense just my tasteee), when something is his, he wants it to just be his y’a know?

Price~ I’m so sorry but I cannot imagine anyone 25 and under with Price. He’s not Leonardo DiCaprio (no offense to any writers who write Price with a younger reader 🙏🏻, y’all doing good work out there just not what I personally imagine) . This man loves a good mom bod, more to grab onto in bed. Price, when it comes to personality, just wants someone family oriented. I don’t think he’d minds shy lover but he definitely wants someone a bit more mature and can handle him being away and being on dangerous missions. Would want someone to settle down with happily with a bunch of tykes running around in the yard.

Gaz~ I feel like Gaz would want someone with a pretty smile. Like he loves pretty smiles, especially when their eyes get all squinty or if they have dimples. Buddy gets weak in the knees for a cute girl/boy/person with a cute smile. Personality wise? Very loyal, I feel like he would want a fellow quiet mature introvert like he is. He’d want someone with a hard work ethic to match his own, someone who is especially kind towards others- even if they’re strangers. Politeness especially too, he falls head over heels for politeness.

[anifever]

omggg I love ur Lottie!reader hc’s! Could you do one where the reader acts like Tiana? A super independent, great cook and no-nonsense gal with good humor is someone I think the whole gang would rlly love

Gang w/ a Tiana!Reader ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The Outsiders x Fem!Reader

୨୧ : Curtis gang with a reader who’s like Tiana from ‘Princess and the Frog’

A/N : Why does my theme mess up when I do requests kms. Once again, sorry if these are a bit short <\3 I have so many other requests I’m working on so bare with me

˖⁺‧₊˚ 🐸 ˚₊‧⁺˖

Darry

୨ IMO, he’d be the best choice for someone with that personality to be paired with

୨ The gang is terrified of pissing either of you off

୨ My ongoing hc/scenario of him = throwing flour at each other whilst cooking together continues to hold up

୨ He thinks you’re the perfect mix of sweet with a bit of sour

୨ If you have a little restaurant, etc; he’s always gloating about it

୨ He’s honestly a little shy about it like one of his coworkers asks abt you during a lunch break and he’s just like “Well….🤭🤭🤭”

୨ You guys both share your parents recipes with each other

୨ He’s the one who’s always cooking for his brothers/the guys, so it’s helpful when he gets a bigger range of things to make

୨ Also helpful that you offer to cook with him or just do it yourself sometimes

୨ He gets pretty worried when he notices you overworking yourself (ironic.)

୨ You both try to help each other through it and take some burdens off one another’s shoulders

୨ You’re both super independent; power couple

Two-Bit

୨ You love to cook, he loves to eat

୨ You’re his saving grace

୨ You also match his sense of humor which makes you the full package in his eyes

୨ He can’t compliment you without you brushing him off and he hates it LMAO

୨ He just wants to butter you up but you’re so humble

୨ Then again, he gets all shy when you start sweet-talking him back

୨ You spoil him with food constantly

୨ “Baby, you’re an amazing cook ‘n all, but I’m gainin’ a bit of a belly-” then you just shut him up by stuffing his mouth with more food

୨ You don’t gaf about his weight you just like coddling your funny lil’ handsome guy

୨ Like I said, he cannot stop complimenting you, like it’s impossible for him

୨ He thinks you’re perfect and feels the need to constantly rub it in other people’s faces that they don’t have someone like you

୨ Like he bagged a woman who can cook, is funny, nice, gorgeous, and stays humble about all of it????

୨ It will forever be his greatest achievement

Steve

୨ You keep him in check

୨ He can be such a smartass sometimes but he learned not to mess around with you fast

୨ Just sits and watches you cook sometimes because he’s so mesmerized by it

୨ He debates on stealing ads for your restaurant he sees around town since he’s so proud of you but then he decides it’s probably bad to lower your promo

୨ He says “There’s my favorite chef 😋” with the dumbest grin on his face whenever he sees you after a while of being apart

୨ If anyone dares to say something bad about you or your food, etc- his ass is NOT having it

୨ His smart-ness comes in handy in cases like that

୨ Like I said, you can handle your own and he’s lowkey giggling and kicking his feet on the inside whenever he gets to witness it

୨ He’s like yes!!!! That’s my girl!!! 😣😣

୨ Borderline moans when he tastes something new of yours and you can’t tell if he’s playing it up or being serious

Dallas

୨ You walk him like a dog I’m crying

୨ You’re really kind most of the time, but he loves that you’re also able to handle yourself

୨ Like going to Buck’s together and some guy is being weird, he thinks he’ll have to step in but you handle it just fine on your own

୨ He wanted you to have his children after that.

୨ Anyways, you’re also really caring over him

୨ Not to mention super loyal which he’s not used to

୨ You always clean him up after fights (not without scolding him tho)

୨ Once again, if you own a place yourself or at least work somewhere, he’s always showing up out of the blue

୨ He reluctantly agrees to be on his best behavior when he visits

୨ That being said, when he hangs out with Pony and Johnny, he’s always bringing them there for food

୨ He tries to flirt with you whilst you’re on-job and you do not have any of it

Soda

୨ He’s always ready to be a taste-tester whenever you try a new recipe

୨ He’s just so supportive I’m sobbing I love him

୨ You pack him lil’ sweets for him to snack on during his shifts at the DX

୨ He watches you passionately talk about cooking/your job with hearts in his eyes

୨ Whenever girls come into the the DX to flirt with him, he takes the chance to promote your business/the place you work LMAOO

୨ He worries a bunch when you start working more than normal

୨ He tries to get you to take breaks but then you’re like “?? You do the same thing with your job” and he’s just like “Ah.. well, you got me there.”

୨ Realistically though, he gets where you’re coming from about “the only way to get what you want is through hard work” and relates to it

୨ That still doesn’t stop him from pouting when you seem more tired than usual when you take longer shifts, etc

୨ You start helping him and his brothers out financially once you start making more money

୨ He cries.

Johnny

୨ You try to help him with his confidence since you’ve got a lot of it yourself

୨ You make him feel secure

୨ You’re also a pretty big inspiration for him

୨ He doesn’t eat great considering his living conditions other than when he goes over to the Curtis’, so he’s basically getting full course meals when he’s with you

୨ You encourage him to get multiple helpings/take a few bites before the food’s done but then scold the other guys when they try to LMAO

୨ “Oh, so Johnny can eat it early but not us??”

୨ “What- was I supposed to let him STARVE?!?! 🙄”

୨ You care about him so much and always make sure he’s away from his parents as much as possible

୨ You’re aware he can also handle himself the same way you can, but you’re still protective over him nonetheless

୨ You have confronted his mom before and desperately tried to keep your usual down-to-earth and kind demeanor, but it didn’t work. At all.

୨ You and Two-Bit are one in the same when it comes to that woman

Pony

୨ He is SCARFING your food down

୨ I’m dead it’ll be gone so fast, he can’t help it

୨ Loves that you’re so headstrong since he’s the same way

୨ Anyways, imagine he brings home a small box filled with something you made him from school & Steve’s like “Where’d you get that from?? 🤨” and he gets all smug about it

୨ He refuses to let him have even the smallest bite

୨ You get along really easy with everyone and he loves that about you

୨ You’re always sticking up for him if he’s getting made fun of at school, on the street, etc

୨ It makes his lil’ heart hammer in his chest

୨ He visits you during your waitressing shifts

୨ Like he studies and does homework up at the counter while you work and he takes glances up at you every now and then AHHHHH

୨ He also probably does yours for you depending on how busy you are

୨ You repay him with food on the house though 😊

୨ Darry’s always asking him where he’s been and he’s like “… the diner in town…🧍” and he’s still suspicious but he’s just glad he’s not getting into trouble

[vxiphoid]

PIXELATED ZEN

❨ summary ❩ genshin › genshin men playing minecraft with you ((ft. alhaitham, itto, cyno, diluc, kazuha, kaeya, heizou, & xiao))

tags ✧ modern au, drabble, fluff, chaotic energy, not proofread, cursing, ooc(?), established relationship, gn!reader, kaeya sets a forest on fire, alhaitham does not appreciate bees, mentions of pixelated deaths

amanuensis’ message ⊹ IM NOT TRYING TO KILL MY OTHER FANDOMS I SWEAR… im gonna back up from twst for a bit (im literally posting scarabia soon.) you can clearly tell who my favorites are… this unlocked a whole different part of my brain holy shit im deceased

⌜200+ e/chara ⌟

♫ blossom - t. shan

genshin masterlist

ALHAITHAM

╰┈➤ tbh he thinks minecraft is stupid, i mean, why not read a book instead of burning the images of pixels into your eye sockets😒 yeah, he’d just rather books. its a game about blocks, what could possibly be so interesting? he will admit the music is… nice. its nostalgic even though he’s never heard the track before. his favorite animals are the axolotl idk they’re his little pookies. its their little stick arms, they look so silly… as soon as haitham found out that you could color things its over, he make some sweet things like putting a sign on top of your shared house with both initials with colored dye. he’s so happy, just not very vocal about it, but he has the smallest of smiles. he definitely has headphones with the crochet sprout on it omg😭 alhaitham does not like bees whatsoever, they stung him for trying to get food. he just wanted honey :[

“look, the dog’s collar is blue. and the sign’s letters are green and then if you add a glow squid’s ink, it lights up.”

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ARATAKI ITTO

╰┈➤ he has waited YEARS for someone to play minecraft with him omfg. certified snack hoarder for times like these. you both literally hit each other to show love, you’ve accidentally killed him once bc he didn’t tell you that he had like half a heart… itto likes the water, hates the guardians because who do you think you are attacking him out of nowhere??? gets one shotted by the elder guardian while trying to fight it with a stick and then blames it on magma blocks pulling him down. GAMING WITH HIM IS NEVER CALM GODS💀 you cannot lay on him or anything bc as soon as those cave sounds or disc 13 start playing, he’s already done sprung out of his seat. his screams are actually really funny though, you got him a cat from how much he’s been assaulted by creepers. when you introduced him to shaders, he was so in awe. “babe i have a shadow!” type of excitement JAKEJEJDMnda.

“the cat’s name is sir arataki the third, you are now my loyal guard cat. who’s an adorable little guy?”

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CYNO

╰┈➤ look at this nerd (affectionate), ofc he plays cubecraft. loved it so much that when he didn’t have the actual game, he would play the really bad knockoffs💀 plays on console so you can sit between his legs, lean back, and game with him. cyno hate the split screen because he always gets confused on what side he’s on so he lets you use his switch, that way you’re both still comfortable. he’s more of an explorer if you do get mod packs for him, likes the horror ones the most. there’s nothing like hitting the enemy or shit talking the thing that could potentially one shot you with your s/o‼️ yall crouch a lot, its like a little dance. he really likes the disc “far” it itches his brain in the right way. definitely downloads the little raccoon mobs but then regrets it because he gives up all his berries to them, look at their little begging arms, literally how can you say no to that?? AND THEY WASH THE BERRIES. you both fall asleep to the ambience and to each others breathing all cuddled up ‘n warm. cyno absentmindedly sings the music while chopping wood or mining that shit has you SLUMPED. he kisses your head when you fall asleep, smiling like a silly goober.

“do-do-do-do do-do-do-do do, neow neow neow nneow neeeowwww… huh? oh, i’m almost done then we can go to bed, yeah? i’ll charge the switch too, don’t worry. just rest.”

(he’s singing that one part in danny lmfao)

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DILUC

╰┈➤ diluc does not understand the concept of minecraft but its okay, he’s just happy to be here. he also doesn’t call it minecraft but “cave game”, the original name, he did his research though it is rare that he actually calls it minecraft. found out that you could breed animals and accidentally made a pack of wolves. diluc is really good with redstone its actually insane😭 he’s the type to protect you the whole time while you’re getting flowers for the house, boyfriend bodyguard. diluc doesn’t play much because of his job but when he does, he’s prepared to sit for hours and spend time with you :(. these are the times where he’s most affectionate, randomly kissing your cheek, getting water for the both of you before you play, etc. luc loves the mod pack “industrial”, he can build machines, how neat is that??? also it has way more OMFP with the added features it has yk? he likes the trains :D

“is the water running…? the water’s running, they have moving windmills!”

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KAEDEHARA KAZUHA

╰┈➤ kazuha has the most expensive equipment yet doesn’t use this shit half of the time unless he’s streaming with heizou??? like im talking msi infinite rs pc, multiple monitors, a graphic drawing tablet, headphones with immaculate sound quality AND!!! the ear cups have fucking cyberpunk 3d wing guards on them. but anyways, minecraft, yes, he plays. in fact, kaedehara has about 10 beaten hardcore worlds every time a new update comes out, he must beat the game again. he rarely plays minecraft without his shaders so when you want to play the original og minecraft, he doesn’t mind, he actually enjoys the nostalgia. so much so the music is actually his background music when he’s just lazing around. words cannot express how much he dislikes (hates) wardens omg. he’ll protect you from them but if there were diamonds behind a warden, ig he’s going somewhere else😭 kazuha gives you random shit, weather that be something really sweet or questionable…

“love, do you want my rotten flesh? here<3 oh! and, i also got you some steak, you’re low on hearts…”

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KAEYA

╰┈➤ he’s heard of it, watched people play, just never played it. but when he does… he’s a menace. kaeya got his hands on flint and steel and set an entire jungle on fire… but he can be sweet sometimes! you’re the one protecting his ass while he walks around at night UNARMED to gather blue flowers for you. like you’re cute, but take a shield or something😭 he’s jumped off of a tall building before and landed on half a heart for a stack of bread you didn’t want. he’s rather oblivious to the mobs around him, he once thought shulkers were friends because they were just “silly little guys in little boxes” yk until they almost killed him. you bought him his own skin and introduced him to parrots and now its his favorite animal, he looks like a pirate!!! kaeya is chaotically sweet.

“yes, you almost died protecting me but how could you resist my everlasting love plus pixelated blue flowers?”

(has a cat unironically named ice spice LMFAO)

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SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

╰┈➤ your boyfriend is good at literally anything else BUT minecraft. its the way this game constantly has it out for him too like what did bro do??🙁 heizou stream’s with kazuha every now and again and on those, he still doesn’t know what to do… he’d rather play on the servers, bedwars in particular. extremely good at bw, you’d rather NOT be his enemy😭😭 wins almost every single game even when he carries, rank 98 in the server. yet when it comes to a casual server between you and him, the chats are filled with his deaths and his hashtagged rages💀 heizou despises silverfish which is also why he hates going into strongholds, they could get stomped on for all he cares! >:( he has texture packs with really beautiful skies and then a picnic mod so he can stargaze with you and eats minecraft cake :(<3

“oh. babe, green is heading for our bed, no pressure or anything. i loovveee youuu😚”

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XIAO

╰┈➤ xiao has the MOST downloaded mod packs, shaders, and worlds. not very expensive mod packs most of the time but when they are, they’re always good. spends his time fighting off mobs at night, #1 totem holder. he even has his own custom skin!!! he’s kinda been waiting for you to ask so when you do play mc together, you already have your own room, but when you voluntarily move your bed into his room to sleep… he melts. xiao loves cuddling while the two of you play, he’d rather your arms around him than the other way around, feels more intimate. you have matching hoodies for occasions like this. he has the dragon mod pack and has his own golden and orange dragon named ‘li’. he doesn’t talk while gaming, curses silently when he gets hit, but other than that doesn’t talk. if you want to talk, he’ll listen, he likes hearing about your day :].

“no, keep talking. i’m listening. see, li’s listening too.”

[obstinaterixatrix]

Do u know any good mob psycho 100 fanfics?? Or authors??

well obviously my sister but I’m guessing you’re the same anon so 1) you already know her fics 2) you want different recs from what’s on her list (some of them being fics I rec’d to her lol). recs will skew heavily seri/rei and I’m just going through my bookmarks so it’s gonna be most recently read to oldest read. also seconding sister’s recs of bobmoss and crookedturtle. but I’ll add a fic from each anyway because I already wrote something for one while I was drafting this (oops)

Recollection by CowardlyBean

This is the journal of missing 31 year old Reigen Arataka, distributed with permission from friends and family. The version presented in this document has been kindly edited with added commentary by a loyal customer of his. -Editor’s Note

gen, experimental and in progress at 14k so definitely deserves more love than it’s getting. inspired by house of leaves; as the summary says, it’s some rando writing annotations about reigen’s journal, but Something Weird Is Going On. the 4th chapter updated so I actually need to catch up. also, sister rec’d this fic to me

Like Acid Reflux, or Love by partingxshot

Dating Reigen is like dating a single dad—only with more children, weirder scruples, and an extreme ruthlessness vis-à-vis group takoyaki discounts. He's not hot enough for this.

OR: "Me, You and Steve" by Garfunkel and Oates but with fifteen million teenagers.

OR: Outsider POV exploring Reigen’s dedication to his gaggle of bizarre children through an ill-fated dating attempt.

OR: Serizawa gets bruxism.

gen(/pre-relationship seri/rei), oneshot, 7k. oc/reigen breakup lmao. extremely funny concept, extremely good execution

Dream Dial by Alakazamboni

For the better part of nine years, Arataka has proudly worked in customer service at a behemoth of a company. At least, that's what he remembers, but a strange illness and a mysterious caller keeps trying to convince him otherwise. It doesn't help that this caller has the power to distort reality.

seri/rei, in progress, 16k. great uncanny atmosphere, and also reigen is trapped in time prison as a miserable office worker. hasn’t been updated for a while but read it anyway, the stoping point is fine

What We Make by crookedturtle

Reigen and Tome are kidnapped from the Spirits and Such office to be used as leverage against Mob. They have two goals: to contact the outside world, and keep each other safe. In doing so they engage in a dangerous game of lies and manipulation with their captors—a game with potentially deadly consequences.

gen (bg seri/rei), complete, 36k. Good for whump and high stakes interpersonal maneuvering & drama. I liked how the story extends beyond rescue and goes into how everyone navigates the fallout

Man's Best Friend by bobmoss

A cursed dog gets left at Spirits and Such. Anyone who pets it is doomed to die a horrible death.

Reigen, of course, pets it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. funny and cute and sweet :) there’s a very charming tentative & tender vibe

heart line by ruthwrites

It doesn’t really matter, he reminds himself. He’s making a change, just like all of Reigen’s clients. What’s on his hands isn’t set in stone. He just has to make sure Reigen doesn’t see it— even if it might feel nice to have that steady attention, Reigen’s hands that are so much nicer than Serizawa’s folding around his.

(or: Reigen starts offering palm readings as a service, leading to Serizawa having to confront his feelings for his boss.)

seri/rei, oneshot, 6k. getting together fluff, a fun light read that also highlights serizawa’s insecurities—the internal narration has good character voice

If you won't believe me when I say it, believe me when I don't by deathdefied

Two years after Reigen invited Serizawa to work for him, he still can't quite categorize his feelings for his coworker. Instead of actually dealing with those feelings like an adult and talking to his friend, he decided to get really paranoid and overthink everything Serizawa does.

seri/rei, complete, 26k. reigen drives himself nuts lmao

Obvious by skeilig

Tome’s perspective on Reigen and Serizawa’s developing relationship.

gen (but about seri/rei), oneshot, 3k. I like outsider perspective getting together fics, especially when the perspective character is like ‘I’m actually not invested in this except when it affects me directly’

Cover Me by flecksofpoppy

Reigen’s shadow seems longer as the days move forward, more solitary. The cuts on his face heal and the ache in his bones go away, but a new sting replaces it. It’s loneliness, the thing he had managed to avoid ever since a primary school-aged kid who could make cups float stumbled into his office so many years ago.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. getting together fic that shows off a little of reigen’s gloomier side, it’s cute

loved you just a little too much by shcherbatskayas

You learn how to let go.

(It doesn't come naturally.)

gen(ish), oneshot, 2k. 2nd person character study of serizawa’s relationship with touichiro, I liked the ambivalence; effectively captures development over time with a relatively short wordcount.

offering genuine help with genuine results by suitablyskippy

“The curse was pretty clear on me not telling lies,” concedes Reigen. “It was pretty clear on me telling the truth. But,” as he lifts one finger, already sliding into the same educational tone he generally uses for imparting wisdom to Mob about life and love and the overall holistic benefits of making sure he’s always available for unexpected overtime work on weekends, “telling the truth isn’t necessarily the same as being honest, is it?��

“You’re the professional liar,” says Dimple. “You tell me.”

(Being cursed to only tell the truth and being cursed with Dimple as an employee are pretty much equally bad, as far as Reigen's stress levels are concerned.)

gen, oneshot, 2k. the tags include friends with no benefits whatsoever, which is very apt. Very funny to have reigen and dimple be petty and shady

a slightly more miraculous miracle by suitablyskippy

“Rumour has it that something impossible’s happened. Something that could never have happened. That shouldn’t have been able to happen.” In a single slick move Mezato produces a tiny voice recorder from an inside pocket, flips it open and active, and holds it up before Mob’s mouth to ask him, in a tone of devastating intensity: “Do you know anything about… a miracle, Mob-kun?”

Mob doesn’t hesitate. “We had maths homework to hand in,” he says. “But now we don’t have to. We don’t even have to go to the lesson.”

(The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Salt Middle School has been closed by an unexplained miracle, and the only thing wrong in Spice City is the fact that nothing is even slightly wrong at all.)

teru/mob, incomplete, 55k. for the most part I haven’t been repeating authors on this list, but listen. listen to me. I need you to listen. it is extremely unlikely for this fic to ever be completed. but hark, lest this sad probability turn you away and leave you dispassionately scrolling to the next fic, I need you (you specifically) to know that if I were in the same room as you, I would be wrestling the phone/mouse/trackpad/touchscreen/etc from your hands and furiously clicking the link. when I bookmarked this fic in 2017 I described it as having “some breathtakingly sensical prose and the funniest misunderstandings I’ve ever read”. trust me from seven years ago. open your heart.

skylight by inexhaustible

unconnected snapshots in what might, in some worlds, be something a little like recovery.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. character study that nails the tension of an escalating romantic atmosphere.

come on, come on, come over (take it off your shoulder) by mortarsmayfall

Reigen's free hand cradles Serizawa's head, curled under his ear just so to turn it for a better angle. He feels his pulse pound under Reigen's fingers, shivers just the slightest bit. If Reigen notices, he doesn't say anything about it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. when I first read this I saved it as a private bookmark because I was so embarrassed by the sheer intimacy of haircuts with severely unresolved sexual tension. I’m guessing this was written after studio bones gave us reigen cutting serizawa’s hair. crumbs no more; for once we had a feast to enjoy. short & sweet getting together fic

Off-White by reigreitz

Some habits are tells.

seri/rei, oneshot, 1k. snapshots of pre-relationship and established relationship scenes, I’m quite fond of it. on my first reading I’m pretty sure I remember not paying attention to the habit piece at all (even with it being right in the summary) so at the last scene I was hit by the double whammy of ‘oh so that was what serizawa was reacting to’ and ‘AW… THAT’S SWEET…’; I think the fic does a great job of hiding/not acknowledging certain things the perspective character knows and is reacting to, which makes it fun to reread and pinpoint what exactly serizawa’s previously more opaque train of thought was. like, it’s the same stuff, but you get to read into more nuance.

the seven stages of falling in love by reigen arataka by matsunoble

You suppose one of the weirdest times to realize you've fallen deeply and irrevocably in love is when it's fuck o'clock in the morning and you're blearily checking your fridge for leftover curry.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. I was quite taken by the mundane (and sometimes unappealing) descriptions of love, and I like when serizawa has the upper hand

Mr. Psychic by beefstatic

Looks like trouble in Spice City...

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. Serizawa Acts Like An Intimidating Bodyguard During Tense/Shady Situations. fun emphasis on that potential aspect of his character, I like how it’s done.

Late by hamlingo

For the first few days after hiring Serizawa, Reigen couldn’t help but be alarmed when the door opened at eight o’clock sharp in the mornings. He got used to it eventually, and in a month’s time he was more surprised when the door didn’t creak open right on time.

This was one of those mornings.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. this is actually among the first seri/rei fics I bookmarked so I can say with relative certainty that on may 20th 2017 I decided that maybe seri/rei was not just a joke of me indulging my own spurious unreasonable whims. fun character study and has that enjoyable tension of pleasant pre-relationship uncertainty.

Quiet Talks by krypkaktus

At some point, Reigen cutting his hair twice a month had turned into a mutual habit.

seri/rei, oneshot, 600 words. another charming snapshot of pre-relationship uncertainty, pleasantly embarrassing unresolved romantic tension.

walk in by ruthwrites

It was then he realized that the reason Reigen and Serizawa were standing so close was because they were kissing.

Mob was not really sure what to do with that information.

(or: mob leaves something at the office, comes back, and walks into something he wasn't supposed to)

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. an extremely popular fic for extremely valid reasons, this is a shining example of the outsider POV shipfic where the perspective character is like. I’m 14 and did not want to see you guys kissing. and the couple is like. we also did not want you to see us kissing, this is excruciatingly awkward.

tomorrow isn't always another day by suitablyskippy

It’s like Reigen’s been waiting for the question. He stops dead on the pavement, grips Mob by the shoulders, and stares down into his eyes with an expression as haunted as though every ghost the pair of them has ever exorcised has taken up residence behind it. “Mob,” he says. “Mob,” he says again. “Tell me, Mob. Look at me and tell me. Tell me truthfully. Do I look cursed to you?”

Mob looks at him, and tells him truthfully. “No.”

“Well, you didn’t look very long,” says Reigen. “Let’s just stand here for a moment, like so, and you can have another look, a nice long look, and really think about it...”

(There's nothing strange about being called back to exorcise the same haunted photocopier six days in a row. It must just be a very haunted photocopier.)

gen, oneshot, 18k. I didn’t mean to rec the same author three (3) times but this is also one of my top faves. extremely funny time prison where nobody is on the same page ever.

space voyage by Anonymous

Tome Kurata is slightly famous—or notorious, more like—for being... a weirdo, to put it simply. She's definitely a person of interest. Just not exactly in a newsworthy way, which is obviously the only way that matters.

mezato/tome, oneshot, 1k. charming pre-relationship contention, they’re the same type of self-absorbed and tunnel vision (affectionate)

I was thinking of not writing up recs for sister’s fics but since one author got three (3) fics on the list I’m gonna also put 3 of my fave fics of sister’s

Reigen's Comprehensive Fool-Proof Guide on How Not To Be Next Door Neighbors With Your Employee (because that'd just be creepy) by MalkyTop

Reigen hires Serizawa and they somehow end up as roommates.

seri/rei, complete, 17k. a fic sister wrote for ✨ME✨ that shows off reigen’s neuroticism and his decidedly not-normal attempts to come across as Extremely Normal, The Most Normal Man Alive. there are so many comedic setups and payoffs. there are so many shenanigans. reigen gets frog-boiled into romance. actually, I drop that term a lot but I’m not sure it’s a common enough to intuitively understand. it refers to the boiling frog metaphor

If At First You Don't Succeed, Find a Loophole by MalkyTop

Reigen keeps dying; Serizawa keeps trying to save him.

seri/rei, complete, 18k. sister was insane for this because she trapped all of her readers AND herself in time prison by releasing one chapter a day. it was really funny to witness because I was the only person not in time prison by virtue of editing privilege. while we were watching mondays: see you next week (an office time loop movie), sister was saying she was impressed at how effective/efficient the movie was at picking which scenes to repeat. this is to say, as someone who notices these details, sister was very intentional about when things changed and how things changed from the perspective of a character completely unaware of time prison. also, the emotional momentum is extremely good, I loved reading serizawa’s increasing desperation from reigen’s context-less perspective.

in absentia* by MalkyTop

After what was supposed to be a routine exorcism, Reigen wakes up in the wrong body.

serirei, complete, 26k. slowburn bodyswap with mystery and intrigue. a solid casefic! I can be biased and right. there are metanarrative elements that I find fun and that, in my opinion, highlights how sister did in fact get a degree in philosophy. there’s also some fun subtle and messy characterization notes, like when serizawa asks reigen not to cook for him. it’s hard to talk about what I like about this fic without giving away a lot of specifics, so go read it.

[queerdiazs]

snippet sunday 🫧

hi friends, i'm late but i'm here and once again i'm sharing something from hoa eddie because he's going through it and i like to make him be silly

“What was that all about?”  Eddie sighs. “She gave me a citation,” he answers, holding up the piece of paper for Buck to take. “Apparently, I joined a mandatory HOA when I closed on the house and the only way to get out of it is to sell and move.”  Buck leans against the door, too, close enough Eddie can smell sweat and sweet lemonade. “Well, that sucks,” Buck says, ever eloquent. “What’s it for, anyway?”  “We were being too loud.”  “She said I didn’t need to apologize for that!”  Eddie chuckles. “You don’t have to,” he says, turning his head so he can meet Buck’s eyes. They’re awfully bright, even in the dim light. “Me, on the other hand? Pretty sure she wants me begging on my knees.”  “You’d look good on your knees.”  Heat crawls up Eddie’s neck. “Fuck off,” he says, laughing, and shoves at Buck’s shoulders until he giggles and rolls away. “You’re not funny.”  “I’m a delight.” Buck tugs at the hem of Eddie’s shirt, the same place he was picking at earlier, and draws him away from the door. “Come share a beer with me.”  Eddie smiles, warm in his tummy from both the tequila and Buck’s superpower of making everything okay, and says, “Yeah, okay.” He allows Buck to pull him along, trailing after him into the kitchen like a loyal dog. 

i was tagged by @watchyourbuck, @honestlydarkprincess, @hippolotamus, @callmenewbie, @jeeyuns, @try-set-me-on-fire, @wildlife4life, @giddyupbuck, @exhuastedpigeon, @daffi-990, and @wikiangela and since it's so late the only person i'm tagging is @eddiediaztho because britt needs to see this scene

[loonyoz]

All I’m saying is that id kill for a bg3 characters but Buffy au. I really wanna hear what other people think but here are my ideas so far:

gale as willow cus they both sweet nerds that eventually become powerful magic users (but like kinda problematically). Although i am considering him playing the role of Giles cus he could be using his knowledge as a mentor figure rather than as peer support.

Astarion as Spike cus I feel like that goes without explanation. Idk whichever emo fucked up but lovable vampire works best right?

Wyll as Buffy cus both are charismatic monster hunters weighed down by their responsibility to others. Also Wyll is absolutely the type of bitch to say shit like “well you were mythtaken”.

Maybe lae’zel as Kendra? They’re both very task oriented no bullshit type of people. But if the focus is to make the bg3 6 into season 1 main characters then It’d be kinda funny for her to play the role of Cordelia. Both bitchy and reluctantly helpful but in different ways

Maybe Karlach as Xander? Both have that loyal puppy dog vibe with a dash of horny lol. Problem is that karlach is more the reckless brawn charging in and Xander is more Everyman that’s realistically scared in difficult situations.

Shadowheart as Giles. Both have that sassy “I’m above this shit” attitude but helps anyway and genuinely cares. Both have a dark and mysterious past lol. Idk if that really works for her character tho

I admittedly have yet to finish watching Buffy don’t hate me but this idea has gripped my brain

[cyberphuck]

Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part One

EDIT: Tumblr randomly swallowed like 500 words in the middle of this, so I've added that back in.

I am finally embarking on my long-threatened project to summarize all of the Farseer Trilogy for my friend Razz so they can understand my shitposts about it but don’t actually have to read it. I started with this post about the cast of characters in the first book.

This is being broken up into sections because the trilogy and AA in particular (as well as Royal Assassin... whew, that one’s gonna be hard) is so insanely long and complex.

And now, Ladies and Gentlequeers, AA Abridged: Part One.

We open on the narrator musing both about writing a history of the Six Duchies (but being unable to because every time he tries it turns into a salty rant about everything bad that's ever happened to him) and also about how very old and decrepit he is. He is hunched over his writing desk, his fingers gnarled and knuckly, literally crumbling away like a Thanos-snapped MCU character as he sorrowfully attempts to make some record of the long and storied life he's lived before he lapses into the sweet void of death.

Fitz is 35.

"I bet you're wondering how I got here," Fitz writes. "It all began when I was born. Neither of my parents bothered to show up."

Actually, the curtain opens on Fitz as a six year old, being hauled up to the front doors of a fort by a cranky older man. "Surely you must have memories of your childhood before six," someone in the audience asks, but Fitz replies "No, I definitely don't, I never did and I'm tired of you asking me that." It never really becomes super important what he was doing before he was six, unless you count the time where he was traveling from the King-In-Waiting's ballsack to the sweet hot vagina of Some Lady He Never Spoke To Again.

Fitz is scooped up and brought inside the fort, and presented to Prince Verity. You'd think Verity would be at least a little upset that his older brother has muddied the line of succession with his long-ago nut, but Verity acts as if Fitz's existence is the funniest thing he's ever seen. "Yep, looks just like him," Verity confirms, then instructs a soldier to bring Fitz to Burrich.

That's right, the cranky old man hammers on the front door, waits for someone to open it, says "this is Prince Chivalry's kid and I'm tired of dealing with him," and then walks off. Despite this, Fitz never develops any abandonment issues and only has healthy and honest relationships with people for the rest of his life.

"Those are all the memories I have of that fort," Fitz writes, "except for that one night that Prince Verity, Burrich, and Prince Regal stood and looked in on me in the stall and Regal complained that I was muddying the line of succession."

Burrich does not think this situation is as funny as Verity did.

But he's honest and loyal, so he sighs and says "C'mon, Lil Accident, I'll find a place for you to sleep." That place is in a horse stall with Vixen, the hound dog, and Nosy, her pup. Burrich looks down at all of them, mutters "Patience is gonna have a fucking aneurysm" and then walks off.

After a couple of weeks, Burrich puts Lil Accident on a horse behind him and they ride away from Moonseye and towards Buckkeep. During this time, offstage, Fitz's father Chivalry gets word of his appearance and does the only sensible and logical thing, which is to ollie out the window while flipping everyone off and yelling "GOOD LUCK FIGURING THIS ONE OUT, LOSERS!" He abdicates and retires to a farm with his weirdo wife, which pisses off basically everyone.

Burrich and Fitz arrive at Buckkeep, the capital of the Six Duchies, a tall castle on a hill overlooking the ocean. Burrich is the stablemaster, in charge of all the critters large and small at the keep. He'd also been Chivalry's right hand man until he'd jumped in front of a boar to keep it from killing the Prince and fucked up his leg. Burrich comes home to Buckkeep with a bad leg and a six year old bastard to find that his bestie has just fucking peaced out without saying anything to him. He's kind of having a bad day. He hands Fitz off to stableboy Cobb, who leads him and pup Nosy to the kitchens to get something to eat.

Cobb sits FItz-and-Nosy just outside the kitchens and goes inside for delicious pie. A burly man walks by Fitz, does a double-take, then points and yells, "Hey everyone! It's Chivalry's Bastard!"

Fitz shrinks down.

"I heard you don't even have a name!" Burly man hollers, then gets right up in Fitz's face. "Is that true, tiny and defenseless six year old boy that I'm accosting? You don't have a name?"

Fitz yells "NOOOOOO" and, like a tiny, dirty Jedi master, force-shoves the man onto his ass. The crowd, assuming that the dude was just a coward who couldn't handle being yelled at by a toddler, has a laugh and carries on with their tasks. Fitz gets up and he and Nosy run away and spend all day hiding in a hole.

Burrich does eventually find him, and with a hearty "what the fuck you can't just burrow underneath the shed, get out of there," returns him to the stables, where his new home is Burrich's little bachelor pad above the stalls. In the days and weeks that follow, Fitz wakes up, eats breakfast, and immediately escapes the keep to go down to the town and run around with a bunch of street kids.

Fitz doesn't say much but he's game for anything and he has a dog, so he's accepted into the gang as "Newboy." He and his new friends generally just run around making trouble, stealing food, and bothering people. One of the notables in the bunch is Molly Nosebleed, called that because she always looks like someone just got done beating the shit out of her. Wholesome!

One sunny day, Fitz, Molly and Nosy are on the rocks near the beach looking for sheel to eat. I have no idea what sheel is and neither does Google. Then Molly's dad shows up to hit her with a stick to teach her a lesson about having a drunk, violent dad.

Alarmed, Fitz force-shoves Molly's dad into the sand. Molly immediately freaks out and struggles to get dad back on his feet to stagger back to their candle-making shop (or chandlery if you're feeling fancy). Fitz is confused at the intricacies of abusive relationships, but relieved that no one yet knows that he has force-shoving powers.

Aside from his brief encounter with childhood trauma, everything is going great for Fitz. Then one day, while he and his fellow urchins (and Nosy) are running from a dude whose sausages they just stole, Fitz runs right the fuck into Burrich.

"You get your butt right back up to the castle, young man," Burrich says, dragging Fitz along by his ear. "And if I EVER find out you've been down in town hanging out with someone again, I will personally have sex with them a bunch of times," he added foreshadowingly.

"I don't have to do what you say," Fitz barks.

"Bark," says Nosy.

Burrich's eyes narrow. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he asks.

"I don't really know numbers," says Fitz.

"Bark," says Nosy.

"Nosy says that's three," Fitz translates.

"Alrighty then, no more puppy for you, the puppy is going to live on a farm upstate," Burrich says. He drags the puppy outside.

Presumably something cool happens to it.

So now instead of slumming around Buckkeep Town, Fitz spends his days following Burrich around and being taught how to manage horses and dogs but not birds because birds apparently hate bastards. Fitz is careful not to let Burrich see him being friendly with any animals.

One day, Fitz is sitting underneath a table in the Great Hall, being friendly with a bunch of puppies. It's the morning after a party and there's plenty of leftover food to be had, and he's happily stuffing pies down his shirt and sharing pieces with the pups. Then he hears footsteps and who should show up but KING SHREWD!

Shrewd is technically Fitz's grandfather but has never really spoken to him. He's walking along with Prince Regal (*crowd boos*) and the king's new fool, a weirdo albino child who's just cartwheeling along behind them.

Fitz goes "hmm, time to bounce" and crawls out from under the table. Shrewd stops to look at him. "Ah, the Little Accident," he says. "If you leave weapons laying around, someone will eventually pick them up and stab you with them."

"What?" says Regal.

"What?" says Fitz.

"I am not going to leave you laying around for someone else to kill me with," Shrewd says. "Lil Accident, take this pin. I am going to to feed you, train you, house you and clothe you. If anyone's got shit to say about it, show them this pin. It means you belong to me."

"...Okay, sure," Fitz shrugs. He puts the pin into the collar of his shirt. Shrewd nods magnanimously and walks on. Regal flips him off. The Fool cartwheels out the door as they leave.

That night, Fitz goes home to Burrich's bachelor pad, but Burrich turns him right back around. "You done gone and did it now," he says. "King Shrewd noticed you and now you're gonna have to go live inside the castle like a fancy lad. Go on."

"But despite my fear and resentment of you, I see you as a protector and father figure," Fitz says.

"Oh little boy who blew up my life, I love and resent you too," Burrich assures him. "If you get lonely, you can come back down here and I'll murder another puppy for you."

Fitz trudges up to the castle. He has a room of his own. There's a fucking weird tapestry on the wall of the ancient King Wisdom consorting with... what is that thing? Slenderman? It's creepy.

Weeks go by. Fitz is kept busy with new lessons in reading and writing and 'rithmetic, as well as swordery. Once in a very long while, he makes the trip back down to the town to visit his buddies, but those trips become fewer and farther between.

It's the middle of the night.

Fitz wakes up to a draft and a light in his face. There's an old man at the foot of his bed, holding up a lantern. "Come with me," the old man says.

"Oh," Fitz yawns, getting out of bed. "It's the call to adventure."

The old man leads Fitz to a doorway in the wall that hadn't been there before. This is where the draft was coming from-- a steep staircase leading up between walls. Old man leads Fitz up a maze of passageways and then finally to a huge hidden room with all the amenities a crazy old wall-man could want, like a fireplace and comfy chairs and a big bed and a library and a science lab.

Also, the old looks like he took a hot frying pan to the face. Like he really looks like hell.

"Wrow," Fitz says.

"Wrow indeed, boy," the old man agrees. "My name is Chade. I bet I look familiar to you. Well it's because I'm King Shrewd's brother and I blah blah blah I have a weasel named Slink. Next you're going to ask what the fuck happened to my face. I can tell everything you're thinking, because I'm a master spy and assassin and-- now this part you should take to heart-- I am always right about everything. Never doubt me."

"Okay," Fitz says.

"Good. That out of the way, let's train you to kill people."

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

Hiii my love, can I ask for a ship? Sorry if it’s long or formatted wrong, thank you in advance 🫶🏼🫶🏼

I’m a female (she/her) , i have big heart, i’m funny, I like to relax, and I can be a bit of a grandma sometimes when it’s just me around the house, but otherwise i’m quite energetic . I love to chill and listen to music. I can have a bit of a short temper at times (I just think it’s because I don’t put up with peoples bs LMAO), I can also be very stubborn, i’m very loyal, like VERY loyal and I will always stick up for the people i love and go above and beyond to make the people around me happy. (which I think that can also lead me to being hurt or misused by friends)

I can be a little emotional at times, maybe a little dirty minded too lol, i love to cook, i’m a dog lover (really just an animal lover at that), and i’m competitive and passionate. I’m a very driven person and if it’s something I want to do i’ll make SURE it gets done. I Make up my own rules and I don’t give into unfair ideas that are put up around me. I lead with my heart and my emotions and if that gets me into trouble then so be it. i also LOVE scary movies, true crime, all that stuff, i’m also a SUCKER for reality tv 😭 (tlc does have some good drama though)

I would say I’m charming and it’s more of my words and my smile that gets the guys. I’m a bit of a germaphobe and maybe little ocd. Imma southern gal who’s very short, (5.0) I think I have more of an innocent look (despite my wild attitude LMAO) I have big brown eyes, wavy light brown hair, big lips, only like a couple light freckles on my nose ( you can see them better in the summer) , button nose, and an olive skintone that has paled over time, I would say I have more of a petite/hourglass figure but I think my chest is what catches people’s eyes (Im a size DD LOL) I have high standards, I can be very sympathetic, and I also can usually tell when people are in pain or when their vibe is off in general. I usually just joke or “laugh it off” and I can be very deadpan when something bothers me, or if it’s something that really hurt me I usually just shut down and become cold or distant. i’m an INTP, My hogwarts house is Hufflepuff ( even though I honestly thought I was a slytherin for so long 😭) My love language is physical touch for giving and acts of service as receiving (it’s really just the little things and showing that you care about what I’m saying or just being thoughtful). I grew up with brothers so i love watching sports and playing them (We grew up in a very competitive household lol) i’m very very family oriented, I’m a sagittarius, I like to play the piano, and read and write in my free time. and In the summers I love to fish and swim at my boathouse. And springtime is my favorite season.

For a guy, I wouldn’t really care about looks or any of that! I don’t have a type at all 😅 Just someone that can take care of me right. Sorry if this is long! Love you, Em!!!! 🩷🩷🩷

MY LOVE NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH OF AN ASK I THRIVE OFF OF IT AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Alright so this one just kinda came to me out of nowhere while I was reading your thing and the more I read the more it just seemed to fit!! I ship you with…

Floyd Talbert!!

Song from my playlist that reminds me of y’all - Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen

How you met

So you both were in the pub in England where Buck and everyone were playing darts

Tab was just being his usual flirty self until he saw you

You were out just having a blast with your friends and he saw your smile and just

That's it he's Sold

So he sauntered over to you to try and put on his usual charm but your own way with words and just how PRETTY you are completely threw him off

So yeah sweet boy stumbles over his words and when you call him cute he just

Talbert.exe has stopped working

Suddenly your friends call you over so you give him a little wave before walking off but not before he asks you to dinner

Cue Talbert sneaking off in the middle of the night to see you whenever he can so y’all can sneaky make out like a couple of teenagers

How he knew he loves you

Ok so I picture it happening maybe you met up with him in Paris while he had some leave time

You and Tab and your friends were all out drinking and having a good time

Until someone bumps into one of your friends and gives them a glare

Like “watch where you’re going asshole”

And because your hands are rated E for Everyone of course you try and go to town

Until Talbert holds you back because he doesn’t want you to get hurt

Just… seeing your passion and loyalty to your friends, how much you cared, the fire in your eyes…

Something just clicked for him, he knew then and there he was in love with you

He tells you as he walks you back to your hotel room, standing outside the door, arms wrapped around your waist

He’s worried you won’t believe him because of his flirty reputation, but the look in his eyes when he says he loves you makes your heart just MELT

Of course you say it back because who wouldn’t

Before his leave is up y’all make the decision that you’ll go back to Kokomo with him after the war

A conflict and how y’all resolved it

So it’s after the war, both of y’all had long days, already on edge

Tab comes through the door and, instead of the welcome home kiss you always expect, he just goes straight to the kitchen, right passed you

You follow him because you’re worried about Tab, like, this never happens?? Tf??

You knew Tab had a temper but this felt different

You ask if he’s okay and he just stays silent

You ask him again in a quiet tone, “Floyd, talk to me.”

“Why should I? You don’t tell me everything. Why should I tell you anything?”

It just comes out of nowhere and cuts like a knife

Tab kept ranting, and you’re able to gather that apparently, a coworker that loves to get under Tab’s skin mentioned that he saw you at a bar flirting with a bunch of guys (literally never happened, you’ve been at home taking care of Trigger all week cuz he was sick)

Just… 1) the fact that it’s a lie… 2) the fact that Tab believed him??? Did he really have that little faith in you and your relationship????

The fight just blows up out of proportion, tears are shed, voices go raw, feelings DEFINITELY get hurt

Finally y’all just hit a wall so you just take Trigger out for a walk without saying a word

During the walk your brain just goes a million miles a minute

You thought your relationship was deeper than this?? Has it been like this the whole time but you just had rose colored glasses on??

You didn’t want to go home, but you knew Trigger was getting tired, and it was getting dark.

When you walk in the door, you see dinner on the table (your favorite), and Tab waiting for you, his eyes clearly red and puffy

“I… I can’t begin to say how sorry I am…”

He just looks at the floor ashamed

Tab takes a moment before quietly explaining that, when his coworker said what he did, it just hit different…

Tab never told you this, but he really doesn’t feel like he deserves you

Like, in Tab’s brain, you could go and pick someone ten times better than him, so why don’t you?

Tab got so scared, but he didn’t want to show it, so he got angry

By the end his cheeks are stained with tears, still looking at the floor

He’s so shocked when he feels your arms around him

“Floyd, you’re the silliest man I know”

At first he’s super confused, but you explain how much you love him and how you can’t imagine your life with anyone else

He just lets out a sob of relief and kisses you with the most love and passion you ever felt

Honestly it was rough but you’ve never felt closer to Tab than in that moment

Your Happily Ever After

Always taking care of Trigger together

Trigger needs a bath? Floyd “accidentally” aims the hose at you and starts a water fight

Trigger needs a walk? You have his leash on one hand, and Floyd’s butt in the other

SUPER romantic relationship, like, y’all are just constantly flirting with each other and it’s simultaneously disgusting and adorable

A silly headcanon about your relationship!

Ok but hear me out…. Once a week, y’all have a self-care night and it’s SO CUTE

Y’all help each other put on face masks, give each other massages

You just love to help each other relax and feel refreshed and rejuvenated after a long week

Sometimes Trigger gets in on the fun and y’all give him a little paw-ssage and he is in heaven

Honestly just being in that space with the two boys you love most feels like heaven to you

Aaaaaaa thank you for being my first ship Mac!!! Hope you like it ❤️✨

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Cats Can Bear Rings, Right?

Satan x GN! reader

Summary: You and Satan discuss some interesting ideas for the both of yours wedding.

AN: I had a busy week, so I didn't get a chance to write. But I'm back! And don't worry, I don't see Satan as just a huge cat guy. But the thought of this was kinda funny so here, take it. 👐🏻

TW: None

“Okay, that’s the last of the invitations mailed out.” Letting himself into the study of your shared apartment, Satan came to stand behind you, watching as you browsed through the many pages of wedding decor. “Though I still think we should’ve excluded Lucifer from our guest list.” He added with a grumble. 

You giggled before spinning the chair around to face your now fiancé. “Well, think of it this way, with him at our wedding you can gloat all you want that you got married before him.” 

A wicked smile spread across Satan’s face. “You are devious, my dear. Why didn’t I think of that?” He chuckled. “What would I ever do without you?” Leaning down he softly placed a kiss on your temple. 

“You’d be alone with only the company of books. And a house full of cats.” You watched as he playfully rolled his eyes at your remark; his focus shifting to the computer screen just behind you. 

“So, what’s next in our planning?” Your mouth flattened into a straight line in thought as you swiveled back around to the desk. You grabbed the notebook that hadn’t been closed since the day after your engagement, and began to gloss over the long list of things you still needed to do. 

“Umm… next we need to figure out who the ring bearer is going to be.” You stated. Satan placed his hand on the arm of the chair, leaning over your shoulder to take a look at the notebook. You watched his emerald eyes scan the page. His eyes met yours shortly after, a softness reserved only for you swimming in their edges. 

“You’ve already gotten your wedding attire?” 

“Yes, that’s already been taken care of. Courtesy of Asmo asking every five seconds if he could tag along. And even when I said yes, he continued to call and message me about plans- giving his opinions on what designs and fabrics would be best. So, I got it done early to get him to leave me alone.” You let out a laugh at the memory. Satan added a chuckle of his own, reminded of Asmo’s ways.

The softness made an appearance across the demon’s features once more before he spoke again. “I can’t wait to see you when you walk down the aisle. I just know you’ll take my breath away.” 

A blush consumed your cheeks at Satan’s sweet words. He was too romantic for his own good. After successfully flustering you, Satan straightened himself as he brought the original subject back up. 

“Well, if you want my opinion on a ring bearer, I can’t think of anything more purrfect than having a cat escorting the rings to us-” Satan paused. “Even better, we can have two cats. One for each ring. Not a bad idea, right?” 

You looked at the blonde incredulously. He couldn’t be serious. What a terrible idea, not to mention the terrible pun he added as if it would help seal the deal. 

“Umm, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I was actually thinking of asking Luke to do it.” Now it was Satan’s turn to mirror the look you had previously given him. 

“So, no cats… But you’d rather have the chihuahua deliver the rings instead.” A light biting undertone wove itself through his words. You gently swatted his arm, huffing out a playful breath. 

“Be nice. I think Luke would be a wonderful ring bearer. We certainly wouldn’t have to worry about him running off with the rings like the cats might.” 

“Are you implying that the cats would steal the rings?” Satan’s hand made contact with his chest, almost offended at what he was hearing.

“No, but cats kinda do what they want when they want. I’m sure the cats would wander off somewhere with our rings. Dogs, however, are loyal and stay when asked. Luke probably wouldn’t let himself leave our eyesight as long as he was in possession of the rings.” You giggled at the thought of Luke following the two of you like a little, lost puppy. 

It wasn’t too far from the truth with the way he trails Simeon around. 

Satan guffawed. “I was only joking about the cat thing. I’m certainly not opposed to having Luke be our ring bearer. I think it’s a wonderful idea.” 

“Great! I think we should ask him in person. I’ll send him and Simeon a message and invite them to have lunch at our place.” You picked up your D.D.D that was sitting off to the side and began typing into The Angel’s group chat. 

Satan hummed in agreement. A few beats of silence passed before the demon spoke once more. 

“I do think we should incorporate cats into our wedding. It’d be a nice touch. Maybe we could have one cat per guest.” 

He could not be serious. 

[one-strugling-bean]

DSMP Fanfic Rec List because I’m bored Part 2

(IF YOU READ ANY OF THESE, DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT - even a simple "great work" or "this was a lot of fun" suffices, just  comment)

Happy Duo & Egg Lore (the fluffy and the saddy)

OrphanDuo + Skephalo AU by cawthelesbian 

Techno discovers the Skeppy cage and remembers Skeppy's claustrophobia, which leads him unable to keep his anger and disgust in check.

-

This series is what made me love these three dummies. Seriously, there's so much unexplored potential here.

I love how close Techno and Skeppy are, how much Techno cares for Skeppy despite how different they are, and that Skeppy is considered one of the few that have always been loyal to Techno. It's just sweet, ya know?

Adding Bad to this mix just makes it all that much better. Techno and Bad aren't very popular together, but I personally love imagining their possible interactions and how they view each other.

I loved getting Techno's pov on the Skephalo relationship as well - how Techno trusts Bad to take care of Skeppy because he's seen and been proven that they are that important to each other.

I can only wish this series gets continued at some point, or someone else picks up on the idea because I'd kill to see more of this concept.

___

What's a Skeppy? by 42starsintheuniverse

When he has the capacity to, Bad uses higher order thinking. In those times, he is well aware that the Skeppy is as much of an individual as he is. That it presumably managed for a long time before him, that it was good at surviving, and he’d come to learn, excellent at fighting and defending itself. The Skeppy is very capable. But Bad is nothing if not flawed, and one of his flaws is that he is very eager, and very happy when he finds things to collect. So he’d sort of... Unintentionally taken the Skeppy. It wasn’t a plan, exactly. He’d carried it home that first day and assumed it wanted to stay with him.

-

"For a long time, Bad thought all he would ever be was a Bad. But when a Bad finds a Skeppy, suddenly a Bad becomes... A happy." If this quote doesn't make you want to read the fic, I'm not sure you're okay, I'm sorry.

This fic is literally the cutest thing, istg. I dare you to try and find me something that's more wholesome.

Bad and Skeppy are both not-quite sentient creatures - Bad is a Nether demon, Skeppy is a diamond golem - who find each other by chance and just, connect and stick together and do shenanigans.

The genius of this fic for me is the "not-quite sentient" part. They're not people, they're creatures, and it shows. They remind me a lot of the dragons from HTTYD, as in they possess a higher order of thinking than a dog or a cat, while still being somewhere lower than a human. Does that make sense?

They can't communicate with each other the traditional way - aka, through speech - and so have to find ways to get around that, which is a trope I love.

Also also, this author is amaaaaaazing at writing Happy Duo, I very very much recommend checking out any of their other works - Flickering Flame and Your voice: The Sound of your Laughter are two of my faves, but really, all of them are more than worth a read.

___

My sunshine by Redbug

There's something wrong with the world around Bad, and reality isn't making any sense. No one is, and it's starting to eat away at his mind.

-

This series is pure pain and yearning. I'm not even trying to be funny, it simply is. Maybe it's because Bad and his "predicament" reminded me too much of a family member of mine, but this fic really just hit me like a truck out of nowhere.

I don't want to spoil much, but i love what the author did with Bad's backstory. Who he is, his connections with XD, how he got to have the life he does in the present. He's so tragic, it's painful to read all that suffering (but in a good way, because it's also beautiful??)

The way Rain cloud ended threw me for a loop a bit, but I think that might've been the point - it also made me cry actual tears, sooooo, there's that :p

But yeah, go read this right now if you feel like BBH-centric angst with lots of worried Skeppy, some functional Karlnapity, and a kind of confusing but still very envolving plot.

___

dripping with red gardenia by kirichin

A sardonic smile tugs his lips up as he watches the petals curl up, catch fire, and turn into ashes. He was sure there is a metaphor there somewhere, between his love and the pathetic flowers turning into ashes.

-

or Skeppy gets blessed with Hanahaki.

-

Happy Duo writers really do love their angst. And Hanahaki too, apparently.

Techno is MVP. He and Skeppy continue to warm my heart with their brotherly bond. Skeppy and Bad deserve all the hugs.

It's been a while since I last read this one, so I don't remember the plot too well, but I do remember I stayed up 'til 4am to finish it and I hate going to bed late, so I hope this speaks for itself on how engaging the fic is. Go read.

so this is love by Isi_Khan_3000

You’ve always been a clingy person – always had a hard time letting things go.

It’s not really all that surprising that that was your downfall.

OR, the Skeppy POV we all want and need (featuring some extra commentary from somewhen else.)

-

(Yes, I'm self-advocating, leave me alone.)

This was written immediately after the Egg Lore finale. It's basically my personal take on what Skeppy was up to while Bad was busy building himself a cult. It spans from his death by lava bath to him killing Bad after the Banquet.

It's sad, angsty, and full of my fave headcanons for their DSMP characters (which means lots of happy duo family). It is also my first try at writing 2nd person, so yeahhhhh, please give it a read, and feel free to yell at me in the comments.

Anyway, go check it out if it sounds interesting, please and thank you.

[lightsoutletsgo]

Hello love! Could I request a ship please? Two would suffice, but idm three either! Whatever works for you! I mainly used the prompts cause I have no idea how to do this sorryyy

I’m British and 5’3” with dark brown hair. Some of my favourite music genres are rock, alt-rock and alt-pop! I’m also really into movie scores/soundtracks. My top three artists are Arctic Monkeys, Hans Zimmer and Paramore. My dream holiday destination is a nice little villa on Lake Como in Italy! I’m currently studying social sciences, which is basically a blend of psychology and sociology. I work part-time in a cinema; it’s pretty boring but I like the discounts on food and tickets! I love movies so much — I write film reviews in my spare time as a hobby! My favourite food is pasta, especially pesto pasta with pine nuts and bacon (it sounds odd but it’s delicious, trust me!) I also love bananas. My fav dessert is raspberry cheesecake, although I’d eat anything sweet tbh. My favourite drink is water; it’s boring but I just don’t like anything else. My dream date is probably something simple yet romantic: for example, maybe a nice candlelit dinner? It could be out at a restaurant or at home. I’m more of a staying in person myself but I don’t mind going out now and again! Movie dates would also be fun, where we’d rant about the film at the end.

I think people would described me as quite introverted and quiet, but I can be very talkative when I really like and trust someone! And I have a habit of ranting about stuff I’m really interested in. When I like something, I love it. My uni work, for example: if you ask me to explain something, I’d just accidentally go on and on. I’m quite sarcastic, but not in a mean way. I know when to stop.

In a partner, I look for someone who is loyal, trustworthy, kind, funny but knows when to be serious, romantic, and gentle. Someone who likes dogs would be a bonus as I have a dog myself!

I’m so so sorry for how long this is, love! I clearly have a bad habit of oversharing. I hope you don’t mind ❤️ congrats on 500 followers!

— ☀️

ahhhh tysm! this was so fun to read and think about who to pair you with hehe so I hope you like it! happy reading mimi 🤍

CARLOS SAINZ ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you mi cielo or mi corazón - loves your hair! he's always asking if he can touch it and he loves playing with it when you're cuddling, he finds it really soothing - his love language is acts of service and quality time - loves spending time with you when it's late at night, just candlelight from the coffee table illuminating the room as he holds you close to him carlos loves listening to you jam out in the car, even if he doesn't know the songs, he's still headbanging, doing his best to sing along. he loves when you drive on longer roadtrips because he gets to have deep uninterrupted chats with you about anything and everything. one of his favourite dates with you is driving late at night to the restaurant you both love just to pick up dessert to bring home and eat in your cosy blanket pile while you watch cult classic movies. carlos uses the fact you're distracted by the film to steal a bite of your cheesecake, laughing when you notice and pretend to tap the back of his hand with your spoon as you pout. but don't worry! he always gives you his last bite! whether you're at home, on a date or out with friends, carlos will always tell you he's full and that you can have the last bite of his dessert even if he reeeally wants it.

while carlos knows you're introverted and wouldn't change it for the world, he loves when you get passionate about your interests and he watches as your eyes widen and you ramble, your smile growing more by the minute. even when you pause and apologise when you realise, he's shaking his head and grabbing your hands and asking you to carry on talking because he was really interested in hearing your final point.

carlos gazes at you with a fond smile as you sit next to him on the couch, rambling about the new film you'd just gotten home from seeing with lando, "I mean lando says he didn't like the ending but personally I feel like that's just because the director left it open to interpretation by each person that watches it! I really liked it so maybe I related to the movie more as a whole?-" you cut yourself off, hands covering your mouth as you realise you've been talking at carlos since you got home. "I'm sorry..." he's quick to hold your hands and squeeze them gently, "mi cielo, never apologise! I love hearing you talk about the things you're interested in! I could never get tired of listening to you talk." you smile at him, feeling your cheeks get warm. he pulls you into his side and you settle down to cuddle him, "so the ending was open to interpretation? what do you think it meant?"

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

GEORGE RUSSELL ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you darling or my lover - loves your height! you make the perfect cuddle buddy, loves to fluster you by pulling the booktok bf move and trapping you between his chest and the wall - his love language is quality time! - george adores you and his camera roll is full of pictures of you with various puppies and dogs that belong to friends and family or that you see at the park george loves teasing you, he knows you can take it and your sarcastic replies alwasy crack him up! but he's also a sweet attentive boyfriend. always ready with kind words or encouragement when you've had a bad day or need cheering up. he loves reading your movie reviews and lewis and alex and lando often tease him because any and all of his recommendations are based on your own reviews and recommendations, "oh don't watch the remake, y/n said the original is way better." "y/n said the cinematography in this film is amazing!"

george loves making dinner for date night and just getting to be domestic together. it makes him think about the future with you and how it would look if you one day lived together or got married. he's such a melt for you that he has a playlist on his spotify of beautiful movie scores and soundtracks and he's always pulling you away from the stove or the chopping board to dance with him around the kitchen just so he can hear your laugh and maybe steal a kiss or two. he won't tell you yet but he's already thought about what movie soundtracks you'd use at various points on your wedding day if you ever got married.

with george it's all about the little things, helping you fasten your seatbelt, refilling your water bottle, slow dancing round the kitchen, candid pictures of you on his phone, foot rubs after a long day, helping you do your hair and skincare because he loves taking care of you. he's just so in love with you and wants to show you in any way possible.

"can you pass me the salt please darling?" you don't even look up from the saucepan you're stirring as you wordlessly pass him what he needs. "thank you love." you're not even aware of the way you start humming along to the music that's playing from the speaker on the island counter, george's phone shuffling your joint playlist of top movie scores. he stops what he's doing to turn and look at you, leaning back against the counter, crossing his arms with a smile, "I forgot how much you love this one." you jolt at his voice and turn to see him staring, "well I like it because it's from the first movie we ever watched together!" george feels his tummy flip a little at your answer, "is that so?" you nod and he crosses the room to lean into you, hands falling either side of your body so you're surrounded by him.

a nervous giggle leaves you and he nuzzles his nose into your neck before planting a soft kiss, "dance with me?" he doesn't give you a choice, instead taking your hand in his and tugging you to where there's a little more space, pulling you into a loose ballroom hold and swaying side to side. as the music picks up pace and crescendos, george spins you round faster, relishing in the way your giggles get louder before you're begging him to stop and grabbing him to stand upright, the laughter spilling out of him too. as the song comes to a close he gently holds your face, eyes searching yours before he's placing his lips against yours in the sweetest softest kiss.

[spitinsideme]

Peach blossoms and wolfsbane

By writer anon

Chapter 2 part 1

Yellow Smooth Violets

Tw:Homophobia briefly mentioned

Author’s note:Hello! I’ll be using flower language in these chapters from now on due to the fact that this is a Victorian era fic and back then people used to use flowers to communicate in secret so I thought it was fitting I’ll put the flowers symbolism at the bottom of the page! Hope you enjoy! I’ll also be adding music to certain parts too to help elevate the ambiance the story has Without further ado lets get into the story!

Edit note: there isn’t any music in this chapter since I couldn’t think of anything for it sorry! I’m open to some suggestions thou!

The train gently moves along the track swaying the cars ever so slightly. The train whistle blows and the train pulls into it’s stop. Agatha looks up from her newspaper and folds it neatly before getting up and stretching. Then she turns to her very sleepy body guard and gently taps her wake. “Winona we’re here hun wake up.” She said in slight hush tone. “Waz that Waz happin.” Winona drowsily says. “Welcome back to earth cowpoke we are about to get off the train.” “Oh finally i’ll go get our bags from the over head. Winona groans and stretches up and out of her chair. She yawns showing off them sharp pearly whites once more. Agatha could not and would not miss an opportunity to tease her loyal guard.”You sure you ain’t part dog or something? With teeth like that you otta be tearing meat off a bone.” Winona may be tired but she isn’t a fool and whips her head around “For the last time I ain’t no damm house pet.” She said with a growl. Agatha snickered “ Ya know what you are right you are more like a stray instead of a house pet.” Winona huffs” Why do I work for you again.” Because I’m very nice and sweet.” Agatha said with smirk. And with this Winona finally laughs at something Agatha said howling with laugher Agatha now agitated asked”And what is so funny?” Winona barrels over and wipes a tear from her eyes “ Ya know that was the funniest joke you said all day.” She barked. Agatha fed up with Winona shenanigans” Just carry the damn bags to the carriage. Don’t forget you to have to dress up for the ball.” She said “Ugh don’t remind me.” Said Winona wincing at the idea. They finally exit the train and walk a few paces away from the station to find their carriage. The driver opens the door for Agatha while Winona helps load up the suitcases and bags. She eventually also climbs in the carriage. As they are being pulled along the road Winona takes in the scenery of the city noting that it’s smells like grime and smog. She sighs she has only been in England for a short while but she already misses the Country side. Some time has passed now and As the carriage pulls along wheels turning on the the now dirt road Winona sees that the city getting smaller and smaller in the distance. She feels as though she finally gets to breathe and takes a big whiff of the country air. “Ahhhh this is much better.” She said. Agatha looks up at her “ Heh you were never really a city slicker.” She said with a smile. With a big toothy grin Winona replied “Yes ma’am I ain’t much of a city folk.I prefer to be wild and free in the country side. City is much too stuffy and even dirtier than a hog’s pen.” Agatha nods in agreement. “ Indeed the city ain’t for folk like us we enjoy the simpler things in life. I just wish my damn husband felt the same materialistic bastard.” “Why marry the fella if ya don’t fancy him?” Winona asked Agatha sighs “ It’s cuz my daddy caught me kissin a woman so he tied me off the nearest man.I don’t like men in that way so being married to him is the absolute worse it’s like bein in a jail cell with no door or window.” She said with a sad tone in her voice. Winona recoils a bit from what she heard “ Damn forgot bout all that sorry. Men are fowl creatures in my opinion so never felt the need to have one in my bed.” Agatha with an empty laugh states “Yeah just be lucky then that you don’t have to lay next to one and be grateful you have freedom in that regard.” Winona head hangs a bit low and she now is clasping her hands and twiddles her thumbs. An awkward silence fills the carriage then after it seems like an eternity Agatha clears her throat “Anywhosit I hope you did actually pack something nice to wear. This is a formal event not a night at the saloon here.” She said. Winona scoffs “ Yeah I know I got somethin don’t you fret. You just worry about rubbin elbows with them other rich folk.” She said with a small smile. They let the carriage fall in silence for the rest of the ride…

To be continued in part 2 of chapter 2

(Tumblr wouldn’t let me fit the whole thing :(

From,

Writer anon

verg long story .. eoah .. vrrh good do far 👍👍

[oliviasturniolo21]

today's video was so funny lmaooo need matt to be more sassy robot 😭🙏

anyways how are youuuuu

we'll definitely get dogs after getting married 🤞 i saw the cutest baby sweet sweet dog on reels and it reminded me of you🤭 can we pretty please live in the middle of the woods like cottagecore gfs 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

i never asked my friend why she didn't come (i didn't want to hurt my female ego 😔😤)

i have nothing interesting to tell you (i do i'm j lazy to type) but i have my farewell party soon so yayay it's also 5.19 am as i type i should go sleep but eh

give me some tea pls i'm dying i need drama idc i don't the people involved in the drama i j need the dramaaaaaaaa

i also got my periods and my back is killing me and i want to kill my ex how dare he

🎀

OMG I FULLY AGREE MATT WAS SO SASSY IT WAS SO FUNNY TBH 😭. i’m good hbu babesssss. YES LETS GET AT LEAST 2 DOGS AND MOVE TO THE WOODS 🤞🤞. DAMN GIRL GTS. I don’t have much drama, except for smt that happend like a week ago but i’ll tell you anywayyy. SO I have a really close friend from kindergarten, keep in mind i’m in senior year atm. BUT SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN LOYAL TO ALL HER PARTNERS, and last time she went to a party (it was on a saturday night) she went and cheated on her bf…. THE THING IS, her bf DESPISES ME BC I TOLD HER SHE SHOULD BREAKUP W HIM AND HE OVERHEARD (he’s a shitty person who like is hella homophobic and believes men and women don’t deserve the same rights) But anyway he asked me abt it and was tryna get me to say she cheated. I’m not a snitch tho so obv i didn’t 😉. They broke up (THANK GOD 🙏) and she may or may not have become fwb with the guy she cheated on him withhhh.. (they moving on fast asf 😭) I’m on my period rn day 4 and it sucks 😭

[sirjuggles]

Worm Reading - Part 7, Arc 7 Buzz

Ok so confession time, last night I got really wrapped up in the story and read up to Arc 10 without taking notes. I’m gonna go back and skim the previous chapters and record some thoughts. I’ll try to keep knowledge of future chapters out as I go.

Hah Taylor has such a crush. Boy ever since Lisa made her actually notice those feelings she has not been able to get that out of her head has she? I wonder what Lisa’s motivation was behind bringing that up? Hoping Taylor’s romantic feelings will encourage her to stick around?

We can actually draw an interesting little analogy from this sparring scene. Taylor is smaller and weaker than Brian, so she has to be very careful in how she approaches him, and given the chance should choose to just wait out of reach until an opening presents itself. When he attacks her, on the other hand, she has no real way to effectively fight back. This is basically the same situation the Undersiders would be in if they officially take over a territory for Coil. They are weaker in combat than most of the other teams in the city, and have only been effective because they can pick and choose their engagements. They have little to no defensive ability.

Oooh some background on Alec. That’s a crummy situation to come out of, definitely abusive and cult-y. We haven’t really seen the depths of depravity that super-powered individuals can get up to yet; Empire 88 and ABBs are scummy, but mostly in sadly common ways.

Honestly feels a little crummy the way the whole group is pressuring Alec to talk about his past. I get why they need to know the level of threat, but some of this just feels like them wanting to hear the juicy details of life around this famously evil person.

I love love love this entire section of Taylor hanging out with Rachel. I’ve made no secret that I’m a fan of Rachel, and this is exactly the sort of interaction she needs to help her make connections with people. It’s been so obvious from the beginning that Rachel relates more to dogs than she does to people, and she needs someone to be blunt but loyal. Someone who will put in the work to show Rachel that they’ll treat her fairly and carry their own weight, and who cares about her without being condescending. This whole section is so satisfying for me.

Taylor’s new suit-of-bugs approach is handy, though even with her bug-affinity powers I gotta admit I don’t think I’d have the stomach to cover myself like that. I wonder if she’ll lean into this angle? I can picture an older Taylor having a really intimidating appearance as being cloaked in bugs almost like Grue is cloaked in darkness. Assuming she grows more powerful over time, could she reach a point of controlling large swarms into large shapes or figures and using that offensively?

Brian and Taylor are totally correct on the dogs being a liability and in a bad/indefensible position. I understand that Rachel wants to run a punk canine rescue program, but she straight-up does not have the resources to keep these dogs safe, and it’s a problem. This is a time where her defensiveness and instinct to insist she’s self-sufficient is a serious liability.

Awwww Rachel gave Taylor dating advice. That’s both funny and subtly sweet. I just want Rachel to have a friend.

And we have the info bomb with all of Empire 88 getting doxed. I’m actually a little bit surprised, from the interlude with Kaiser and Purity I had kinda gotten the impression that their secret identities weren’t that secret. Maybe I read it wrong, or maybe it was the kind of thing that only people in certain circles knew the truth.

And we have now made my point from earlier about the sparring. The Undersiders are very much not equipped for a defensive fight. Going to ground is the right call, though hopefully there won’t be too much collateral damage from people trying to hit them where it hurts.

Ah, it’s Sophia! I was actually wondering when we were going to run into one of Taylor’s schoolmates eventually. This is, unfortunately, basically the worst one of them to come across...

(Future Knowledge for a moment from reading ahead, spoilers for Arc 9) Kind of hilarious how Sophia blatantly checks out Brian when getting on the bus. If she knew that was Grue her reaction would be sooooo different.

Aww yeah! Distraction makeout! Go for it girl! Let the people who tried to tear you down see you flourishing in the life you’re living now! Admittedly it’s not a totally truthful portrayal, but I can appreciate the sentiment.

Jesus H. Christ! Sophia is a psycho! I mean... I guess that shouldn’t come as a surprise after what she’s already done but like... still kinda caught me off guard a little there. I understand why Taylor doesn’t use her powers on Sophia, and objectively it’s probably the correct call, but I don’t think I’d have the self control to resist covering her in wasps after all this craziness.

Ugh god and she lies to the shopkeeper and slips away again. I find most of the villains in this story entertaining, but I gotta admit I really dislike Sophia and Emma. Which, I mean, they’re serving effectively in their story roles but bleh blech gross hate them.

Awwwww Brian with the shootdown! Huh. I really got caught up in the narrative of Taylor having a crush, I didn’t really consider that his answer would be “Oh uh nah.” His answer was relatively straightforward, I don’t think he handled it poorly, but that sort of rejection hurts no matter how well it’s given. Poor Taylor. Just when she was thinking that her future with this group might be nice.

Uh-oh Purity’s snapped. I recognize various powers have their pros and cons, but I do feel like high-powered flying blasters like her are basically untouchable if they decide to fully let loose unless you have an equally powerful flying blaster/shielder.

Hang on someone took her kid? Oh that’s a whole separate issue from this doxxing thing. Wow that strikes me as a super dumb idea on whoever did that.

I don’t have much to say about the fights with Empire 88

Interesting that Grue’s power makes him scentless. Rachel’s dogs mentioned it in the interlude earlier, and Hookwolf said the same. Honestly, basically none of the fights the Undersiders have been in would have been at all feasible if not for Grue’s ability to heavily shape the battlefield and allow them to break contact when needed.

Speaking of power effectiveness, we have seen a number of fights now where Taylor’s bugs are basically ineffective due to the physiology or abilities of her opponents. I know they haven’t had much down time, but long run if she’s going to be a frontline fighter she needs to sit down and strategize some ways to make her bugs more of a threat. Maybe that means getting her hands on more dangerous types of bugs, maybe that means finding a way to have a larger size swarm at hand, maybe that means experimenting with the limits of what she can and can’t control. But with bigger threats, she needs a better plan of action than “sting them and put flies in their face.”

Wow after you just got trounced by the Empire lieutenants, you’re immediately going out to take on the captain? Uhhhhh that’s not a plan, it’s a recipe for disaster.

Oh New Wave is already here and handling the situation! And the Wards! Undersiders, you need to learn to recognize when a fight is Above Your Pay Grade, and this one is! Sit this one out, let the big guns do the work!

Geez this fight got so ugly. I’m gonna skim over this one in the interest of time. I do like the way that Night has specialized in all sorts of ways to blind her opponents and obscure observation. It’s kinda funny to realize that part of Night’s power must basically be a video-game-style Detection Indicator that tells her if she’s being observed or not at all times.

So Tattletale just straight up tells Purity where her kid is. Probably the right move to bring the heat level down, but... what did this whole escapade accomplish? For anyone? I guess Empire 88 leadership got their cover blown, but somehow I don’t see that hurting them that much in the long run unfortunately. I don’t see what Coil or anyone else gained from this.

Interesting to see the inside of Coil’s operation looks like. He truly is a supervillain, complete with a lair and an army of henchmen. There are logistics associated with that which are usually glossed over by superhero media, I’m curious how deep into that this series will go. Will we see his HR people who hire his mercenaries? The cafeteria and showers? The janitorial staff who clean the place?

Oh oh oh! The missing girl! I did catch that when it got dropped in the news story earlier! Oof. Yeah, we are starting to see that, while Coil is a pragmatic villain, he is still a villain. If he was all on the up-and-up and going to only do nice things then he wouldn’t be playing the game they’re all playing.

Oh now this is interesting. Technically what I just said about Coil also goes for the Undersiders, and I think Taylor has been letting herself forget that recently. Taylor is jaded with the heroes, for good reason. But the truth is people who take the Villain title and roll around in the villain turf wars are out there committing crimes and hurting people. Taylor has only done a couple of actual jobs with this crew before everything switched into Villain vs. Villain warfare. But in the long run, if she stuck around, what would they end up doing? Crimes of some sort. That was what the Undersiders did before she came along, and the others had no problems with it. All of her teammates are here because they want to look out for themselves, even at the expense of others. If that wasn’t the case they could go Vigilante like Shadow Stalker, or Rogue like Canary or Parian. They chose a life of crime, and Taylor let her attachment to her friends blind her to that.

This is also a very visceral character moment for Taylor, because she is basically in the shoes of her old teacher Mr. Gladly. She has just seen someone being victimized right in front of her by someone who she is nominally allied with. Is she going to turn around and walk away because it would be too inconvenient for her to step in?

I hope Angelica recovers ok. I care about the puppers very much.

And she chooses to leave. And they choose to stay. At least for now. That sucks, but I think it’s in-character for both sides. But what does she do from here? If she’s staying true to her moral compass, I think the answer is she should try to bust Dinah out of captivity. But honestly I don’t think that’s feasible within her capabilities alone. And the only way she would be able to get support now would be to go turn this info over to one of the hero teams, which A) she doesn’t have much confidence in, for good reason, and B) would be tantamount to declaring war against Coil and her former teammates. I’m not sure Taylor has it in her.

Ooooh Endbringer. Well, I kinda take it that all of this juicy tangled web is about to get sidetracked. Wonder how Danny is handling all of this?