#i’ve been talking about this on discord but i think this is important to consider

[arcadianico]

sorry i promise i’m normal about this poll (i’m not) but i do think it’s interesting 👀 that all but one of the last four ships are one hispanic person and one native english speaker. 3/4. on the hispanic mcyt ship poll. even the ships with non hispanic latinos (spiderbit, 4max etc) have been voted out in favour of ships whose members have not interacted on stream since the day the brazilians arrived at most recent

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friends i love them?

okay, hear me out before writing this off as fake or “trying to make the other party look bad”. i promise this is a genuine problem i need to have figured out.

i (20) am autistic so i have a hard time telling when i do something wrong, and it’s difficult for me to make friends. however, i was part of an online friend group for ~3-4 years. i was the oldest and the others (17-19) all knew each other irl, so it felt a little awkward (to me) for me to be there, but i considered them my closest friends and my only safe space to be myself.

in the time we were friends, i made some mistakes, some of which i’d rather not get into for personal reasons. but recently the group decided they didn’t want me there anymore, so i was kicked from the discord server and they all blocked me. i was sent a long message about why, and that’s where my confusion starts.

in the message, they brought up some things that didn’t make sense to me as a “bad” thing.

1. they said i’d talked to them about drugs and alcohol “while [they] were still minors”, which is true, but misleading when it’s just said like that. what i actually did was infodump about safe use, because it happened to be one of my fixations at the time, and sometimes mention being high in my channel, but nothing more than that. as for them being minors, some were 17 and some were 18, so it’s really not that different to having DARE come and talk to you about drugs, at least in my eyes. i never encouraged them to use, i never told them to use, and i never gave them resources to use. i only talked about safe use.

2. this is where my title comes in. they told me i was guilttripping and manipulating them by talking about them being my “longest friends” and telling them i loved them. point blank, nothing more to it, that’s what they said. along with that was an added “we know that’s not how you meant it but the effect was there”. this is what i don’t understand and why i need to know if i’m actually a bad person for this or not. yes, i’d talk about them being my longest friends, because i was grateful they had stuck around so long. i’d tell them i loved them just off the bat, whenever i wanted to tell them. it was never about guilttripping or manipulating them, it was always about wanting to show that i appreciated them.

3. this one is a hard one i think. they said that i’d “never disproven [my] ex’s accusations”. i don’t really want to get into what happened which my ex since i know i made mistakes in that relationship, but what’s important to note here is that i had sent my ex’s accusations to one member of the group who’d then sent me a text telling me that they believed i was different now.

this is the text copy-pasted:

“it's definitely a rough situation. but since i know *y'all*, i definitely believe your side. not to mention, you acknowledged your mistakes and the things you did. and i think for all the statements they made about "they knew we had [this traumal", they should've had proof of y'all discussing that. like i can say my girlfriend knows i have body image issues, but i could totally be pulling that out of my ass, you can't just take my word for it. they can't just say things without proof, especially if the things they say could *ruin* y'all's life.”

but in the message as to why i was no longer in the group, they said that actually they didn’t believe me at all, which completely contradicts that text.

and yeah, that’s my explanation of the situation. i genuinely don’t know if i’m the asshole or not, and i’ve been beating myself up about it. this whole situation has made my trust in friends go down, especially since i trusted that group with everything about me. any advice is welcome too.

thank you for listening. have a great day. :)

What are these acronyms?

[nothorses]

Sometimes I’m scared of becoming a toxic asshole for thinking these things, but when I saw the transmasc separatist dude, some of the things called for were things I already wanted to do. Like, seeking out transmasc authors and read their books, or transmasc musicians and listening to their music, or only dating other transmascs, or sticking to transmasc spaces. But I don’t want to do this because I think non-transmascs are incapable of not being transandrophobic. I want this because I’ve been hurt and all this feels like a way to give me some room to breathe and heal. And it’s frustrating cause the separatist stuff feels like it’s inviting me in for that but I don’t think it will help but I’m scared of others telling me I’m no better than them for needing space. I don’t know. Maybe I just suck at unity. Hate to think that tho.

I think there's a big difference between, like, "it feels good to discuss common experiences with people who understand them" (extremely normal and fine), and "it is only safe to interact with people just like me and everyone else is trying to hurt me" (unhealthy and counterproductive).

Everyone wants to see themselves in the things they read and watch. Everyone wants to relate to other people.

And I mean, I created a discord server for Transmascs for this reason; there weren't really any spaces where transmascs could talk about transmasc experiences with each other, and the lack of any kind of transmasc "community" was very sorely felt. I guess you don't see it as much lately, and I'm so incredibly grateful for why that is- but a lot of the early conversations around this stuff talked about how being transmasc was considered shameful or regressive; it wasn't something we were supposed to find joy or pride in, and it wasn't something you were supposed to connect with other people about. And that did so much damage to transmascs! It made us isolated and lonely, and it made it so hard to talk about anything we were going through that we often bought into the lie that none of it was real, or important enough to discuss. Not to mention the impact on our ability to share and get relevant information or resources.

There's nothing wrong with needing some space to talk about shared experiences with people who get it- and I'd argue that this kind of space is deeply necessary. We don't need to give that up. That's not what unity is.

Unity is recognizing that other transmascs are not the only people we share common experiences with. We're not the only safe people, or the only people with talking to, or the only people we need to be fighting for.

It's good to connect to your community! Keep doing that! Take the time to grow your identity, connect to that part of yourself, and work to heal the ways in which that lack of connection has impacted you.

Just don't do it out of fear of the people who aren't just like you, and try not to limit yourself to one community, or one type of person, exclusively.

You are a multifaceted person, and even the trans community itself is incredibly diverse; you will likely find, if you take the time to listen, that a lot of transfems and unaligned nb folks share a lot of the same experiences, too! Even ones connected to manhood, masculinity, or our perceived inability to be autonomous.

And honestly, it sounds like you know all this already- and like you're maybe afraid you have the wrong intentions, or you might mess up, even if you're honestly just trying your best.

Feel free to disregard this bit if I'm wrong, but if I'm not: trust yourself. Trust that you do not have secret, evil intentions or hatred hidden even from yourself. Trust that if you mess up, you will do your best to correct it when you find out about it. You're doing fine, anon, you don't need to be hypervigilant about your own thoughts and feelings. And maybe you'll find that if you can work towards that goal, you'll start to worry a lot less about Becoming A Toxic Asshole for, like, correctly identifying the kernel of reasonable motivation that lead to someone else's wrong conclusion.

[eclipse15]

TW: Programming, Abuse & RAMCOA talk (Nothing graphic or too descriptive), Intra-System Discord?

Hi. A question regarding suspected programming vs. conditioning. 

I’m in a bit of an interesting position regarding my/our RAMCOA experience in that we were already dissociative (Already DID, I’m pretty sure) before the RAMCOA started. I was wondering if programming could still occur in that circumstance, or if it's conditioning instead. 

I’ve never seen an experience exactly like ours in that we were already an “organic” system (not endogenic, to make it clear, just non-RAMCOA abuse) before the RAMCOA, and I was wondering if that meant we weren’t programmed b/c intentionally creating DID is kind of the whole purpose as far as I’m aware? Can programs be implemented in a system after its creation? If yes, is it only on parts created after and not already existing ones? 

I was wondering because I know there’s an age cap for DID development, as a child passes certain developmental stages once the personality integrates, and programming can’t occur past that age bc of no DID, but if someone already has DID beforehand would that still apply?  

I, personally, have terrible amnesia and even though I’m (currently and before the RAMCOA) “host,” I have several years unaccounted for and am only aware of the RAMCOA because I was told by a few other parts. One part, in particular, says there’s a whole programmed side-system shoved in a corner somewhere, but I don’t think we’ve experienced any programs running/activating/or whatever since I returned to my “post” as the most frequent fronter. The closest thing was two very bad instances of nausea, vertigo, and what I term “doom-vibes,” which culminated in me blacking out; First, when I tried getting anywhere near/interacting with the side-system, and later when I attempted to bring up this new development to my therapist. But that’s it, as far as I’m aware. They felt like a regular traumatic reaction (Maybe on the more extreme side, but that’s understandable) to the RAMCOA memories and not programming to me. Also, I'm writing about this right now, so...

That part says there’s a whole gamut of stuff in there; beta, omega, delta, etc… And I’m not saying they’re lying, but it feels odd to me for there to be programming within our system and it not come up at all. That part says it hasn’t come up because ever since we were “discarded” by the group, so to speak, the side system has been basically dormant, as many of their cues are very specific. That part states that when they were co-host, (Early-Mid Teenage years, Near the end of the RAMCOA) it was chaotic and programs were being triggered constantly. That was during the years when I was M.I.A, so I obviously can’t corroborate, but I think that part might be considering some severe conditioning to be programming instead. That part is arguing that I’m being affected by some sort of denial programming. I don’t think so, as I would assume there to be at least some feeling, sensation, or awareness accompanying that.

This is causing some major discord within our system, and that part is refusing to speak with me until I say I believe them. They're very dear to me and very important to our relatively stable functioning. If this keeps going on, I might just lie and say I believe them bc things will start falling apart. If I'm wrong and this kind of thing can occur, I'll obviously apologize, but we both feel a bit biased rn.

Thank you sm.

TW: ABUSE TALK

To answer your question in simplest terms it’s possible but usually doesn’t happen because of a few factors, and it can only happen if all of these factors are out of the way:

Programming is usually being built up before the age of the DID cut-off, so if one has DID before they could’ve still missed the programming cut-off age (this isn’t to say programming can’t continue past this age, but it can’t start and succeed)

If you don’t miss the cut-off, it’s uncommon that you already have established DID because of how extreme the trauma would have to be at such a young age-usually this trauma comes from programming

If those are out of the way than it is possible, but those are pretty big factors that usually cause people like you (if you have programming) to not be that well-known.

I’m not going to say that you have progs or no, but if you’re in the right headspace and have the resources for self-discovery I’d listen to those parts. Again, if. One of the points of programming is that the non-programmed parts don’t notice it.

Hope this helped

[fabfabanni]

Dungeons & Daddies fic 2/∞ (season 1&2 spoilers)

I see there are a whopping 2 likes on my previous post, which is honestly 2 more than I thought I'd see. To celebrate that, here's part two of my silly Grant&Marco fic. Thanks for the brilliant people in DnDads discord who gave me the inspiration for this one! <3

---

I have a weird feeling about this. To start with, it’s ludicrous I agreed to go on a date. After pulling an all-nighter no less. I had to stop Lark from setting the shooting range on fire on two different occasions. One might think you wouldn’t need to babysit an adult man at his own company. One would be wrong. 

Marco smiles at me from the driver’s seat. I do feel a little bad about how I make him work for it. His words, repeated just a minute ago. He talks, I answer. I should be asking questions, and holding up my part of the conversation. It’s just, I’m fucking tired. Literally and figuratively. 

He drives well, the acceleration is smooth and I can feel him releasing his foot off the gas way before he needs to start braking. Dad would be impressed. Not that he’ll learn about this, date, thing. There’s no reason to get his hopes up over nothing, this thing will crash and burn before we finish the pancakes Marco keeps talking about.

“This is it,” Marco says, pointing a little ways ahead of us. I see the blue text on a white background and scoff loudly before I can reign my reaction in. 

“IHOP, really?” I seriously doubt we’ll even see the menu before this is over. I could be palming a handful of melatonin and crashing on my mattress to the sounds of my rainfall soundtrack right now. 

Marco’s hand settles behind the back of my chair as he parallel parks to a spot right in front of the diner. “It’s not IHOP, not as in International House of Pancakes. The letters stand for something else,” he says. “I forget what they stand for, but I’ve heard this place is all the rage. My friend has been raving about it for weeks.”

Somehow that rings a bell in my mind. I’m not sure why Marco’s explanation is familiar, I do not follow social media. I shrug off the thought and step out of Marco’s car. From the outside, it looks exactly like an IHOP. Maybe I’m being scammed? Now that I think of it, I can’t even recall what Marco’s position is at D.A.D.D.I.E.S. It has to be something important if he has clearance to my floor. Unless he stole a badge, twice since I saw him on Monday too. 

The inside of the restaurant is somehow the opposite of IHOP if that’s possible. Instead of faux leather seats and cheap laminate tables, nearly everything is made of warm, amber-colored wood. Marco greets the host behind a counter covered in moss and greenery. The space smells like fresh air and fruits, a vast difference to my memories of burner grease and lemon-scented cleaning spray. I swear I hear birds singing behind the greenery fixture that covers the whole back wall. 

“Li for two? Right this way,” the host says and takes two wooden menus from the counter. This place is ridiculous. Just the sort of place my uncle-.

“Grant? Is that you?”

I turn in slow motion towards the familiar voice. For a fraction of a second, I consider just leaving Marco here and bolting out of the door. Alas, however bad my reputation is, ditching a perfectly kind man without explanation is where I draw the line. 

“Uncle Henry,” I notice my pitch is higher than usual. Clearing my throat I continue, “What are you doing here?”

Henry wipes his hands on an apron and steps out of the open-concept kitchen. I see he hasn’t gotten rid of his Birkenstocks still. He looks good, not only because he is ridiculously healthy and doesn’t seem to age. He looks happy, too. Content. 

“What am I doing here, you ask?” His voice is bright and a little too loud, like always. “This is my restaurant, I Heart Our Planet. IHOP".” Uncle Henry sounds so proud as he gestures around him. There’s a diminishing, hidden part of me, that feels some kind of way seeing that. 

“That’s what it was!” Marco says behind me. 

Henry’s eyes fixate over my shoulder. I try to think of ways to lie myself out of this. Henry is not known to be subtle, and asking him to keep this a secret feels shitty. 

“Now now, who’s this gentleman?” he asks, with a smirk so wide it should be illegal. 

“Marco Li, a pleasure to meet you, sir,” he answers and offers his hand to my uncle. “I’ve heard amazing things about this place, it seems you have something great going on here,” he continues. 

“I like this one,” Henry stage-whispers to me and I want to sink underground. He wraps an arm around both of our shoulders and ushers us towards a booth set up against the greenery wall. The table is unadorned, set with cloth napkins, sturdy-looking silverware and glasses that look like they’ve been made out of the bases of glass bottles. 

“I’ll leave you to peruse the menu,” Henry says as the host hands them over to us. “My favourite is the sunrise,” he points to the top of the menu, “but you boys order whatever you like. It’s on the house! And all plant-based, and very healthy for you of course.” 

Uncle Henry likes to ramble on, I let him. When he finally takes his leave, Marco turns to me and says, “What a funny coincidence this is your uncle’s place.”

“Yeah, funny,” I say.

Marco orders oat-banana pancakes with banana-peanut butter nice-cream and rooibos tea. I might get full on the hyphenations on that order alone. Instead of figuring out something to order for myself, I ask for the same.

“How was the night shift?” Marco asks when the waiter pours us both a glass of water and takes away our menus. 

“It was fine.”

“Don’t want to hear how my night was?” he asks.

“I assume you were sleeping.”

Marco rolls his eyes at me and for some god-forbidden reason, I find that attractive. This must be sleep deprivation. He takes off his glasses to clean them with the hem of his shirt and I see a peek of his stomach over the low table. Now, that is a whole other thing. 

Settling the glasses back on, Marco continues. “Is there something you’d like to talk about? I was never very good at racket sports and this solo tabletop tennis I’m playing is getting a little tiring.”

I huff out an uncomfortable laugh and scratch my neck. The image he is painting of me is not very pretty. “Why did you ask me out then if I’m that insufferable?” I ask. There is no heat to my words, even though the sentiment is there. 

Marco tilts his head and there’s a soft smile forming on his lips. I kind of want to get lost in it. I shouldn’t, but I want to. Everything about this man feels different. He seems sincere, but I can’t quite put a finger on why that is.

“The things I’ve heard about you are not flattering,” he starts. I think my original guess that this date thing will be done before we even get to the pancakes is not that far off. 

He continues, “Still, I can’t help but think there must be more to you than that. I want to get to know the man behind the rough reputation and short surly sentences.” Marco takes a sip of his water and smiles mischievously. “Also, I think you are really fucking cute.”

“Here are your pancakes,” Henry singsongs right next to us, handing over the plates. His voice is even louder than usual if that’s possible. My uncle’s smile is so big it’s a surprise there are no tears at the corners of his lips. As I lift the cloth napkin off the table to make space for the plate, I can’t help but think he must have heard what Marco just said.

[thefact0rygirl]

Hi Vee, the last few anons about engagement have really resonated with me and I want to add my own feelings. This is not directed at you, I just appreciate how you answered those anons and thought you would be the safest person to say this to.

Everyone is a lot busier now as we are forced back to the pre-pandemic 'normal'. Readers don't have the support system that writers do, so they're less likely to stay. And I think your point about fandoms growing and shrinking naturally is also true of this fandom. It is simply something that happens.

Writers responding to previous anons that they're not getting notifications of comments and posts not appearing in the search again is annoying. Readers have had these problems for months, but it is never considered in posts about engagement. They just do not have a platform to talk about these issues because readers follow writers, not vice versa.

I find other fandoms to be more welcoming where readers can discuss with writers in separate posts, but this does not seem to be the case here. Reaching out to writers through asks or DMs is almost never reciprocated, so advice for people to do so falls flat. Some writers are on discord where they have their own discussions, but readers are not included and there is nothing similar just for readers. While it's not the writer's fault, there is a perception of a hierarchy where readers are only that: readers. They're not people to include or interact with, they're just the people whose job it is to reblog and that is all they are good for. The writers who say 'cherish your writers otherwise they'll leave' could take a step back and ask themselves how they're treating everyone else. Do they cherish their readers? If so, do they communicate that? Do they engage with/reach out to readers, or do they stick with other writers? If readers feel like they're not actual members of the fandom, why would they stay?

A previous anon said that posts about low engagement are off putting and I agree. There are writers, who I have reblogged, posting about how current interaction is not enough which has made me feel incredibly unworthy. I might make a shorter comment than others do or add only tags, but that plus the time spent reading it in the first place is time and effort I could have given to someone else. It is this, and the difficulty in making connections, that make me seriously consider deactivating. After all, what is the point of me being here if all I am is an outsider? I'm here to talk about Star Wars and make friends with like minded people but I'm not good enough to create and it is very clear that is the only thing that matters here.

Sorry for the essay Vee

Hi babes 💜 There is no need to apologize! I’m honored that you felt safe enough to send this. The previous anons brought up what a lot of people have been feeling (myself included). 

Interaction is a sensitive topic - one without a clear and definitive answer - and that is frustrating. It’s not a comfortable conversation, but it's still worth having. Especially when so many people are feeling the same way.

You brought up so many important points, especially from a reader’s perspective! Thank you for sending this in. I’ve been thinking about this recently, and you articulated it so well!

We always say that fandom is a community, but there absolutely is an emphasis on writers. More often than not, we stress how readers should be interacting, but rarely is the opposite discussed. It's presented almost like a one-way street, and that doesn't exactly promote a community that is inclusive of both readers and writers. I can see how that might make a reader feel that they are only good for reblogging. That sounds really unfair, especially when many writers know what it feels like to be treated like writing machines.

And you're right. It's discouraging to feel like you're not good enough. If you always feel second best then why stay? No one wants to feel like that. I don’t blame readers for leaving or stop reblogging. 

Interactions are a complicated thing, and to truly understand it we need to look at it from everyone's perspective. It's not to assign blame to anyone (tbh I don't think that is helpful), but to understand what is happening and look at our own actions. Everyone's experience in fandom is valid. Thank you again for sharing this 🤍

[16woodsequ]

Hi! I’ve been following your Steve fics for a while and just wanted to say I really really love everything you’ve written, especially the Alternatively series.

Idk if you give writing advice and sorry if this comes out of the blue, but do you ever struggle comparing yourself to other writers on Ao3? I’ve been posting on and off lately but get so discouraged when I see fics with hundreds of thousands of hits and thousands of kudos and comments. I just don’t feel like I’ll ever compete with that, you know?

Hello! Thank you for your kind words! It always lifts me up to hear things like that :D

I've been thinking about this ask a lot to think of how I handle that feeling. Because it might surprise you considering how many people read my fics, but I also feel discouraged sometimes when fics don't get the engagement I'd love sometimes.

Here's some things I've done to help myself:

First, I added a skin to my AO3 to turn off numbers on fics. This blocks comment numbers, hit counts, kudos, that sort of thing. @ao3commentoftheday has good tutorials for ao3 skins. I made a google docs with the coding for the skins I use if you're interested.

I find hiding the numbers really helps me, because I found I was beginning to focus a lot on the numbers of my fics. These skins block the numbers on your fics and other people's. Doing this helps me not fixate on the numbers and take more happiness in the fics themselves.

When I first changed my ao3 skin I didn't turn it off for several weeks, to wean myself off of it, but now I turn it off on Sundays and give myself the day to enjoy looking at the bookmark numbers and stuff like that, because now it sparks joy more than discouragement, which is the goal.

Second, I try to treasure the good stuff. When creating things I find it very very important to remind yourself of the good things. Our brains are kind of wired to forget the positive reception we've gotten for things and we keep chasing more, which can leave us discouraged.

So find ways to treasure whatever happy things you've gotten from your fics or fandom experience online.

For example, I have a personal discord serve with just me where I save screenshots of amazing comments, touching notes, tags, bookmarks, asks etc that people have left on my fics and posts. This way I can go back and look at them anytime.

I also save my favourite comments in my ao3 inbox instead of deleting them.

And I've also started a scrapbook with my favourite comments so I can hopefully really remember them and imprint them into my brain.

Train yourself to truly appreciate the interactions you get. That's a whole person there! And that's pretty amazing.

Third, often what fandom people are truly looking for is community. That's why we want people to comment on our fics and art because we want to share this amazing idea we had and we want to talk about this thing we love!

So find a community that will listen to you. On tumblr or on discord or with a mutual. Find people who will be excited when you share a headcanon with them or a meme or an in depth analysis of a character.

I find that helps me feel appreciated and excited for what I'm working on and that really really helps.

Fourth, Don't compare your fics to someone's fics that have been posted for a year of more!! This is really easy to do, I do it with my own fics all the time.

But we forget that numbers accumulate over time! Of course your new fic doesn't have as many hits or kudos or whatever as a fic you posted three years ago!

Comparing the two is like getting to the party, putting your cake down and feeling bad because no one's taken a bite, while Brenda's cake, which has been here for two hours is mostly crumbs. These things take time sometimes!

Anyways, I hope this helps. Thanks for the ask!

[roleplayfinder]

Space adventures: 3.O

Hello ladies, gents and fellow rpers. After having to take an unexpected but necessary break from the wonderful world of rping I’m ready to dive back into the waters of writing and make some amazing new stories with some new partners. I’ve been in the writing game for over ten years at this point and consider myself to be fairly experienced when it comes to rping. That being said, I do not require you to have decades of writing experience in order to rp with me. In fact all I ask for anyone thinking of reaching out to me is that:

-You write in third person past tense and have decent spelling and grammar. I’m not going to be put off by the occasional bout of typonese, but I’m definitely going to be put off by writing that I cannot read at all or by noticeable mistakes that are left uncorrected.

-You are capable of writing at least three well fleshed out paragraphs per response (this might change depending on what is going on in the rp at the time) with at least seven or more lines. One liners are a very strict no go for me.

-You can respond at least once or more per day. I do not mind what time during the day that response happens as life comes before rp and I do not want you skipping over important things just to get it done.

-You are 18+. I’m in my twenties and not comfortable rping with minors as my role plays contain NSFW themes and other mature content. Your characters are also required to be 18+ as well.

-You are comfortable with rping against (but not necessarily as) alien characters that aren’t technically just humans from other planets.

-You are capable of bringing ideas to the table, love to world build, adore talking about our characters and aren’t afraid to throw in a plot twist every now and then.

-You will let me know if you have any problems with the rp and work through them with me as well as let me know if you need to take a break or might be busy. I will make sure to do the same.

-You are looking for a long term rp. I want this to be something that spans for months, maybe even years. Not just a couple days or weeks.

-You are comfortable with both MxM and FxM romances. I have no preference as to which one we do.

-You have discord.

I also ask for you to please not godmod, control my characters or spam me with hey/are you there/when are you going to reply/etc.

I AM NOT THE RPER FOR YOU IF:

-You are looking for a fast paced/rapid fire/one liner/short term rp. These types of rp’s just do not hold my interest.

-You are not comfortable with rping with non-humanoid looking aliens. That means anything that may have/has fur, scales, fangs, claws, tails, feathers, the ability to walk on walls or climb ceilings, multiple limbs, etc. If you are not comfortable with aliens that may have one or more of the above traits then please do not reach out to me.

-You are not looking for a slow burn romance or you fade to black when it comes to smut. Slow burn romances are a requirement for all of my rp’s and I feel that skipping out on the smut means we miss the chance to write about very important moments occurring between the characters. To put it simply, smut is important to me. Neither romance or smut will take over the main story of course.

-You are looking for someone to play as a female main character. I only play male main characters and cannot be persuaded to do otherwise.

-You cannot reply more than a couple of times a week. I tend to lose interest/motivation if I don’t get a reply at least every other day.

-You don’t have discord. I rp only on discord because I like making servers to keep things organised, other platforms just don’t work for me.

-You are not interested in doing a sci-fi rp. I’m not looking to do anything that isn’t sci-fi so please do not waste my time to message me and ask if I’m interested in other genres.

With that out of the way, let’s get onto the ideas! Down below are the ideas that I’ve been hoping to write with someone. I’m open to brainstorming or mixing them together to create something new. Nothing is set in stone and I’m hoping to keep whatever plot we decide to do/make mostly fluid or free flowing, meaning that the entire course of the story isn’t entirely planned out at the beginning and we let the actions of our characters determine what happens next whilst occasionally planning what they next major plot point of the story is when we decide it’s time to fill our characters lives with even more drama.

First contact:

Whenever someone read a headline that spoke of how it was possible that alien life forms could very well be not that far beyond the few solar systems that the humans had managed to claim for themselves, many scoffed at the notion that there would actually be any sentient aliens out there who’d even want to interact with humans in the first place and continued to believe that such creatures only existed within the realm of fiction rather than reality despite the few clues found by space explorers that suggested otherwise. Little did anybody know, their extraterrestrial neighbours were much closer than they thought and were not keen on the idea of ever welcoming humans into their little corner of the universe. When a human ship is sent crashing through space and the only survivor ends up being found by an alien, the two species must Learn to put aside their differences in order to stop a war that no one can win from happening.

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the alien, You will be playing the human survivor that they find.)

Taking over:

The lifespan of a captain could sometimes end up being tragically short. It was the captain who was supposed to be the first to jump into their starfighter and guide their crew to victory whenever their ship was under threat, It was the captain who was expected to always be able to know what decisions were the right ones to make in regards to the welfare of the crew and it was the captain who took an oath upon receiving the keys to their ship to never put their own life before someone else’s even when faced with the most difficult decision of all. When the much loved captain of the alliance ship Maelstrom loses their life after a mission gone wrong their second in command is the one who is chosen to take their place as the new captain despite the angry protests from some of the crew members. Will the new captain be able to follow in the footsteps of the one before them and lead the Maelstrom to success whilst earning the respect of the crew, or will the burden be too much to bear?

The kingdoms conquerer:

The right to wear a crown on one’s head without judgement was a birthright. The right to sit on a throne and command an army was something only blood could give. The right to a kingdom was something only a royal was supposed to have. Many had forgotten that the rights to ruling a kingdom could be earned by fighting until news of the old queen’s death spread through the fodrua quadrant like wildfire, with many fearing what the future would hold for them now that Malgor was under the control of an alien who had been deemed to be nothing but ruthless despite the fact that it was his right hand man who had dealt the final blow to ensure that there was no chance that the old queen would still be reigning by the time the fight was over. Whilst the few surviving members of the old royal family mourned their beloved queen a new king, who had been deemed to be a false king in the eyes of everyone but those who’d helped him, sat on his throne and laid his plans out for his future in front of him with the expectation that fate would not decide anything for him. Little did the new king know, fate had different plans that not even he could control.

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the new king’s right hand man. You can be a member of the old queen’s family, a knight, a commoner or someone else entirely.)

The mission:

Seven. Seven alliance ships had disappeared without a trace or been destroyed by unforeseen yet suspicious circumstances. Mining asteroid explosions, ambush attacks, ship failures, all unfortunate yet unpredictable occurrences that were happening far too frequently for anyone to be able to just comfortably sit back and go on with life. With tensions between the alien and human race at an all time high, the alliance itself was desperately trying to find a way to keep the peace without causing a panic. Eventually, a proposal was made. In an all time first since the end of the great alien/human wars, an alien would be chosen and sent to work onboard a human ship. This was considered to be a very large step given many planets were still hostile to one another and the rumours circulating about the missing ships were sparking some strong reactions from both sides but the alliance was desperate….and so was the alien they were planning to send onboard. For them, it was their last and only chance to start a new life and to put a difficult past behind them. Little did anyone know, the appearance of this newcomer was more than just the first step towards changing life as many knew it for the known galaxies.

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the new alien crew member who is sent to work aboard an alliance ship with a human captain and crew. You can play as anything from a regular crew member to the captain.)

Stowaway:

Life in the known galaxies was harder for some than it was for most. Whilst many people were able to live freely with little rules and regulations as to what they did, others were bound by law to follow a certain way of life. Most accepted their predetermined paths and did their best to stay out of trouble, whilst for others it was just that little bit harder to accept the way things were supposedly meant to be. Especially when things could go downhill very quickly if one happened to be on the wrong side of those laws. Whilst many people frowned upon ship jumping, the act of sneaking onboard a ship and hiding away from its occupants in order to travel, some people felt like it was the only way to reach their destinations when a fresh start to their life was in order. When a stowaway is caught trying to hijack a ship, will mercy be given? Or will they find themselves facing a new threat?

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the stowaway. You will be playing the ship’s captain.)

Future defenders:

To anyone who’d graduated from The supernova space and military academy, the feelings were shared between everyone. The promise of freedom and the satisfaction of having managed to not flunk on the final exams that saw them earn a position on the alliance ships themselves was one of the highest achievements a cadet could earn. Now they got to experience the real deal first hand, some getting accepted into the jobs they’d dreamed of since their first year at the academy whilst others were put in a position where there was the chance to move up and an equal risk of being unlucky enough to move down. The one thing everyone enjoyed was the fact that their life was now somewhat less restricting than it had been prior but now was not the time to get slack. Now was the time to show just exactly what it was they’d learned and put it to the test, a now or never situation where everything they did was under the watchful eyes of their captain and superiors. The newest members of the space force were due to be deployed upon the Galactica, one of the most famous ships the galaxy alliance owned and flew, and no one would’ve known it yet but beyond the stars was where it really all began.

Changing ways:

As a royal, one could always predict how their life would pan out. A royal didn’t need to worry about working to provide money, food, clothes and a house over their heads given they were almost always born into a family with unfathomable amounts of wealth and servants that catered to their every need. Many people hated the idea that some people got to eat off a golden plate whilst they had to clean it. As a result, royals were not favoured amongst most people that roamed the known galaxies. Both parties scoffed at the idea of a royal ever being put in a position where they had to work. When a new crew member arrives in the form of a prince/princess from one of the most important royal families within the known galaxies, many start to panic that they will be replaced. Can differences be put aside for the greater good of the galaxies? Or will old rivalries surface?

(Important point of notice: you will be playing the prince/princess. I will be playing a crew member or the captain depending on what we come up with.)

Where no one dares go:

Life in the known galaxies was once a peaceful experience. Aliens and humans alike peacefully lived their lives knowing that they were safe and mostly free from criminal encounters under the protection of the planetary leaders that formed the United worlds galactic alliance. Nowadays, such hope that any of those so-called leaders would look up from the desks that they were busy counting their money on was nonexistent. If you weren’t a criminal or someone who knew how to play their cards, life got pretty tough. Criminals ruled the roost with an iron fist, many species had gone back to the old ways of thinking less than highly of one another and most simply believed that perhaps this was the way things were meant to be. As a new threat slowly creeps over the horizon, it’s up to two unlikely heroes to team up and go further than anyone ever has before.

Runaway royalty:

The life of a Royal was simple yet complex at the same time. They were weighed on hand and foot and never had to lift a finger to do anything provided there was a maid or servant nearby willing to do whatever task the royal had for them, yet they were also expected to grow into decent and respectable leaders who could rule a planet fairly without any struggles. Many royals were more than content to follow this regularly repeating path of effortless “destiny” that their ancestors had set them on……All but one it seems. When a prince/princess decides that there is more to life than just having someone else live it for them and leaves the safety of the castle walls and their planet, they find out just exactly how hard life in the known galaxies can be in a place where their status means nothing to those have to do what is necessary to survive in a galaxy that is much crueller than anyone dares to acknowledge.

(Important point of notice: you will be playing the prince/princess. I’ll be playing the character they run into.)

The price for freedom:

The number one rule for any criminal, whether they were a fearsome pirate, a smuggler with a tendency to shoot first and ask questions later or a wannabe thief who had yet to go beyond attempting to steal someone’s sandwiches without anyone noticing, was to never let themselves be put in a position where their freedom was at risk of being taken from them. Freedom was a gift that was not given on a whim to those who’d found themselves on the wrong side of the law with no intention of changing their ways and it was not something that came without a price on the rare occasions that it was offered to someone who had been on the path to a life where such a thing would never be granted. When one of the galaxies most feared criminals is finally captured and the alliance ship they are imprisoned on crashes after being targeted by a unknown organisation that is intent on taking over the universe itself, they are forced to work together with the only surviving crew member under the promise that they will be exempt from the punishment they once faced for their help. Will the promise be kept, or will it be broken in the worst way possible?

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the criminal. You will be playing the only surviving crew member of the ship that captured them.)

Enslaved:

imagine living the life of one of the most successful people on the run that could exist. Galaxies trembled at your name. You and your crew swam in wealth and the going was good. Mutiny, sadly and sometimes not sadly, exists on its own accord. One person in particular reflected on this as they were forced to their feet. A collar attached to a chain and electromagnetic handcuffs prevented their escape as they stood for all those who cared to glance as they walked by in the market to see. No one wants to have their only life’s purpose be to serve another……only sometimes people don’t get that choice.

(Important point of notice: I’ll be playing the slave/servant. You’ll be the master/mistress.)

Invasion:

March 18th in the year 6000 was the day that the humans had invaded nexus seven, a planet known for being the home of thousands of species of aliens that came from many different planets. The humans had clearly been planning the invasion for some time as they had come prepared and easily took out nexus seven’s defence forces after decades of war that had seen the humans emerge victorious. No one knows exactly why the humans sought to take nexus seven for their own even after all the years that have passed since that fateful day, many aliens believing this had simply just been the first step to the humans conquering the known galaxies one planet and one solar system at a time despite the fact that the invaders have made little progress in doing so. Attempts by the people of nexus seven to contact their allies on the outer worlds had ended in failure and any hope of someone coming to their rescue had long been lost. Surely there was no one who could save them now….at least that was what they thought.

Betrothed:

Long before other planets had even been discovered, and for far longer than anyone could truly remember, there had always been arranged marriages. Arranged marriages, or betrothals as they were more often called, consisted of pairing two people together and making them get married regardless of how they felt about one another in order to secure ties to another land or another planet for what many hoped would be forever. Political marriages benefited everyone but the married pair it always seemed. After all, no one could possibly be happy being married to a complete and utter stranger, could they? How does one who is betrothed build a life of love and prosperity when the one who bears the rings of their union is not the one who also bears their heart?

Last chance:

Criminals, ranging from wannabe thieves to true crime lords, have been around long before anyone had even thought of the idea of building a spaceship and go where no one had ever been before. They’re often cunning, tricky to catch and more often than not are clever at disguising themselves whenever those wanted posters come up. It takes true talent to be on the wrong side of the laws that had been made by those long gone and get away with it. When a criminal that has been giving the alliance a run for their money has finally been captured, they are given a second chance to redeem themselves by having to work alongside the crew of the ship that captured them and even aid them to defend the ship if the need arises. Will this be enough to encourage a change of heart, or will it be the downfall of the crew and the alliance itself?

(Important point of notice: I’ll be playing the criminal, you will be playing as one of the crew members or even the captain of the ship.)

To those who have made it this far, thank you for reading! If you are interested in rping with me please do not hesitate to reach out to me via email (I do not rp through email but I’m more than happy for it to be where we first introduce ourselves to one another before moving to discord) or discord. Please note that I am in the eastern australian time zone so it might be a while before I respond/accept any requests you send my way due to possibly being asleep or busy depending on what time zone you are in. When you reach out to me please tell me what idea you liked, why you liked it and any ideas you may have. Please also include a little introduction and tell me what your favourite food is so that I know you’ve read the whole ad. My contact information is down below:

My discord: tiberionwars

My Gmail: lleo52560@gmail.com

Can’t wait to rp with anyone interested!

[hacked-by-jake]

hey! don't you think jake might be a red flag? he is manipulating mc + didn't he confess his love to mc too soon? i mean, yeah, he was in danger, but still. didn't he and mc fall in love too quickly with each other?

when i first played duskwood, for some reason this reminded me of those creeps in discord who propose to you when you had only been texting for a week LMAO

(anyway, i still love jake, but i don't wear my pink glasses anymore)

Hey Ho, Anon. And first of all: Thank you a lot for asking! :D

A short preface, I took this as always very seriously and tried to talk absolutely nothing nice. I also related this a little bit to real life and I also incorporated some of my own experiences. I don’t want to attack or anything like that, but I haven’t romanticised things like jealousy here. Please don’t feel offended or blame yourself or anything.

And now: Welcome to "the destruction of Jake"

Okay, that’s a little too much. Let's just start. xD

Are you asking me if the manipulative government wanted hacker we know absolutely nothing about is a red flag??

I would say no. xD

He is not only a red flag, he is a red neon sign that says "DANGER" 😂

Okay, joke aside.

Yes, I definitely think that Jake is a red flag to some extent, but only to some extent. We have to, of course, think about the strange situation we are in.

First of all, on the subject of manipulation: Yes, Jake is very manipulative, in some cases it’s absolutely not cool. However, if we consider that he is trying to save his sister’s life then I can understand that to a certain point.

But it gets bad when Jake tries to use our feelings for him even though we are worried that something could happen to the others in the group. He keeps asking us if we want to keep going, but I’m sure if we say no, that we want to stop, then he wouldn’t accept it. I think it sounds like he wants to put us in a strange situation and always wants to make us say yes, even though we might not want to continue.

Confrontation is difficult for many people and in order to avoid unpleasant moments, the answer is often chosen in which you know that it is the answer that the person who asked the question wants to hear. Unfortunately, this is also a little manipulative.

I also like to mention that we, MC, also manipulated Jake quite often and used his feelings. Maybe not on issues like his, but we did.

And Jake’s hands are tied, and he can’t do as much to help Hannah as he would like. Because he is wanted, etc., it is simply not possible for him, so it is all the more important for him that MC stays. And I think as long as he doesn’t threaten us or really forces us to keep working on the case, it’s still okay and understandable.

Then there is this situation here, when it comes to checking Hannah’s phone in episode 9.

I even made a post about this part and said "this is probably one of the healthiest answers I’ve read" maybe the words are not quite right but the context is the same.

So yes, I think at the moment all this is still on a scale between Red flag and the guy is healthy.

I often have those moments in the game where I think "Oh, dangerous statement, red flag!!" I pay attention to this and have already posted a few times about it.

So, let’s get to the topic with 'this all goes too fast'

Yes, it goes, absolutely, at least in my eyes. But I think here we have to leave the game and talk about reality, because it is unfortunately just a game with 'only' 10 episodes. Playing Duskwood now takes several days. But it’s not a game that lasts a whole week or maybe even two or more until you reach the end. So we have to keep in mind that there is simply not enough time to build a complete and very slowly growing relationship.

So, back to the game or back into the game, haha.

I think what’s also a point is Jake’s situation and how long he’s been all alone and has no one. And suddenly MC comes into his life under these strange conditions. But we trust him immediately (a little naive of course) but we have no other choice. Although we always have the opportunity to say a few critical things about Jake, but we do not condemn him for his mysterious appearance and this thing with "my identity doesn’t matter". We work with him and we don’t ask questions, at least almost none, and if he doesn’t want to say anything, we accept that. In short, we treat him like a human being.

And I think this is also a big point that might make Jake build up feelings faster because we’re probably the only person in his life, and that after several years, who are also a little interested in him as a human being and not just for the hacker. So I can imagine that there is a certain dependency between MC and Jake. Because, as Jake says, we finally give him hope, and I don’t think he wants to lose that hope again. And I think that’s also a reason why it’s going very fast, because he might be clinging to that little spark of hope, MC. And this can of course trigger a kind of fascination that can lead to a quick building of romantic feelings.

Well, and if it goes so fast but MC feels the same, why deny? Then we can also tell the truth when he is ready to take the first step.

In addition, of course, comes the general terrible situation in which Jake and MC are.

The darkness that surrounds them, the fear, the danger, the uncertainty, it’s just a sad situation that is overwhelming. And I think they both cling to the spark of light they see, so to each other. The more-personal conversations or small jokes etc, which distract a moment from everything terrible and help the two also breathe a little. And since it happens to each other, I think that an emotional level is automatically built up because the brain remembers "This person distracts me a bit from the bad and helps me" and that demands the brain again and again. And so it happens.

Of course, what is also a huge red flag is his jealousy. And yes, that’s a red flag and in reality there’s nothing sweet about it. I don’t want to attack anyone or anything, but jealousy is not normal and shouldn’t be. I mean, Jake wants us to promise him that we’re not going to Duskwood. The main reason is probably the danger, but it comes right after the conversation about Phil.

And that’s very strange, I mean, it’s no secret that Jake is absolutely not a Phil fan. And yes, I’m also a little fan of Jake’s jealousy but also because my own self-esteem is not so stable and so, it feels special. I only accept this situation because it’s a game. If all this were reality, I’d tell the guy to find a therapist and then we can talk again. Sorry not sorry. xD To bring in a bit of my own experience, which I gathered from 5 years of toxic (from both sides, him and me myself) relationship: I know that jealousy can be sweet and it feels special or something, but in real life it should not be so. Jealousy shouldn’t be an issue. And if your partner may not be jealous, then that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, but that he may just have a strong self-esteem, which is a really nice and good thing. Because very few people still have that today. I myself am unfortunately also insanely jealous what has to do with my mental health, but I know and have learned that as I am in a relationship, if I would want to have a relationship at all, then I would not enter into a relationship as I am at the moment because I could not guarantee a healthy relationship. So I let it be from the beginning (I’m trying to do at least a little moral work xD) He’s already starting to make us promise that we’re not going to Duskwood, and that’s critical, more than critical. That screams "Don't look back, run away!"

Although Jake later says that he has no problem with MC and Phil having contact, he just has to get used to it. But oh, that’s almost a bigger problem. Because sorry not sorry, you have to get used to it otherwise you see me waving goodbye my friend. We barely know each other, you have absolutely no right to tell me if I can have contact with Phil or not. And his "It doesn’t bother me" is almost again a bit manipulative because it clearly bothers him. Sure, he has to get used to it, ok, and hopefully he does, but this statement alone is very difficult. Actually it is already critical that he says it at all because he actually has no right to it. That counts for a game as well as for real life, please don’t think jealousy is normal.

Even if it can feel good, it also shows problems on both sides. I learned this painfully and have been very critical since then. Please don’t take my moral speech badly, as I said, I don’t want to attack anyone or anything, but it’s important to mention that, and not just romanticize it.

And I mean, of course, his jealousy is a little understandable. He knows how difficult a relationship with him would be and that it would not be a normal relationship. He knows that we would have a much more normal relationship with Phil. Phil, a bar owner in a small town. Jake is a government wanted hacker, somewhere in the world, always in different places. If we looked at everything superficially, Phil would be the smarter choice, but that’s not how it works at best. Jake’s jealousy has reasons I can understand, but he has to work on it.

So, let’s get to the last point: His really fast and unexpected "I love you" at the end.

Yes, it comes really very quickly, and absolutely unexpected, but I actually think that we have to pay attention to his situation here again. Jake probably wouldn’t have said it so quickly if it hadn’t been so uncertain if he’d ever see us again. Suddenly his pursuers were closer than ever. They were standing right above him while he was trapped in the mine where he was just to save his sister. He doesn’t know what will happen to him if the FBI catches him, if he ever sees daylight again or what they do to him. And I think at that moment he just didn’t want to leave his feelings unsaid. I think he just wanted to say that in case he never had the chance to do it again. And I think if the situation had been different, he wouldn’t have said it, it was the stress, the fear and the uncertainty. And the need to leave nothing unsaid.

And we also have to note that Jake’s social skills are not quite developed at the moment and he sometimes doesn’t know exactly how to behave. And we can also see how much he feels insecure because of it. I think Jake has little experience in relationships etc. and will have to learn a lot. So to speak, he is still a child who has to grow up to understand how it works. But I think Jake will make it with MC by his side and hopefully with Hannah and Lilly. And maybe even the group. :D

So I think, until now, everything is still based on a rather brittle ice surface. Everything is rather superficial and yet very strong. But it can quickly break. How it will be, and whether Jake really is such a red flag, will only be shown when the two can break out of the cycle of criminal cases and can only focus on their personal relationship with each other. If and if it really works will only then show. But I firmly believe that it works and that the behavior of Jake will change. Because in general I see my Jake as a very healthy Jake. In my head canon, Jake is a bigger feminist than I am, and I am. xD (Btw I already started writing a headcanon about it some time ago, Healthy Jake, I hope I will finish it soon) Because for me there is only one Jake who definitely takes healthy moves, otherwise I would not care about the character pretty quickly.

I see it like you, Anon, I love Jake, but I don’t wear pink glasses. :')

Ok, have a great day/evening/night! Take care of yourself and stay healthy!💚 Be careful with government wanted hackers. 😅

[turtlecleric]

Things in Symphony that I'm still wondering about, even after Chapter 22

1. This line: Now that you’re keeping your window locked pathologically, the old game of sneaking in via the fire escape is off the table.

2. The guy who beat up the asshole in the coffee shop. Is he actually just a random person? Or will he come back and turn out to be important later?

3. "lbjean_87’s Insta profile" is a reference, I'm sure, but idk what exactly other than the "87" for the 87 cartoon

4. “Oh, that’s such a relief,” he says, closing his eyes and sighing into your palm. “I’ve been making spreadsheets of things I’ve wanted to try for several days and wondering how best to bring it up, especially considering—well. It’s quite helpful that you did so yourself. Excellent work, consultant.” What would Donnie have said after "especially considering" if he hadn't cut himself off? Is that a nod to him thinking she likes Leo?

5. “I won’t change my mind,” he [Donnie] assures, making you shake your head. He sighs. “Yes. I promise.” In his mind, why is he so sure he won't change his mind about conducting the touch experiment? Because it's such a relief to touch someone again? Because he loves her? Because he's just that curious about the results/committed to seeing it through so he can touch his family again? Does he even know why he's so sure?

6. Sinclair at one point refers to a Ren. Renet, maybe?? 👀 Will we ever meet her?

7. Vi's visceral reaction to Leo scaring her in the kitchen vs. All the times she's been in genuine danger. With strangers she isn't afraid to stand her ground, even with guys much bigger and stronger than her who are actively trying to hurt her, she still doesn't react like she does with Leo. Is that because Leo is Just That Scary or does she have a history of people, specifically people she trusts, people who are close to her, being violent?

8. [Raph talking] "you can’t be stupid like that,” he says, making you flinch. I've noticed, even before chapter 20 when it gets really really bad, she often refers to herself as stupid or uses stupid as an adjective when describing what she's doing. Her flinching when Raph uses that word specifically has me wondering if "stupid" was used against her a lot in the past (by Alopex maybe?) or if she's always had A Thing about thinking she's stupid.

9. Donnie's various reactions to Vi being in danger/insulted. He reacts VERY strongly to her being bruised by coffee shop guy and when they run into her old standmate and he insults her. But after the thing with the guy in the park and the time she was almost SHOT his reaction is really... mellow. It confuses me.

10. Engage alarm 16-44-SD - I wonder what the significance of the numbers and letters are?

11. Why does Vi call Sinclair by her last name instead of her first name (June)? Grace calls her June... Is it because Vi is so bad at names and by the time she finds out Sinclair's first name is June she's already spent too much time referring to Sinclair by her last name to really change it?

12. What WAS Leo doing while Vi was showering before the 4th of July party? Was he really just eating cookies?

13. “He’s got me on security protocol 27-L-Alpha, but family’s allowed through on that one, so you can go ahead in,” Shelldon says - Again I wonder about the significance of these numbers and letters.

14. Donnie uses italics in the group chat. You can't do that in regular text chains, right? Is this like a discord-type situation? Or is it because they're all using phones (most likely) made by Donnie and he somehow added that feature? (This is so not important, I know, I know, but I'm curious okay?)

15. Chapter 20, during sex - He’s saying something; his mouth is moving but you’re too fuzzy to think, too lost to hear. I wonder what he said?

16. Also Chapter 20, after she Realizes - If Donnie says anything, you don’t hear it. I wonder if he said anything here. Was he still talking to her, trying to figure out what was wrong? Or watching her in confused, shocked silence? I don't know which is worse.

[findroleplay]

Space adventures: 3.0

Hello ladies, gents and fellow rpers. After having to take an unexpected but necessary break from the wonderful world of rping I’m ready to dive back into the waters of writing and make some amazing new stories with some new partners. I’ve been in the writing game for over ten years at this point and consider myself to be fairly experienced when it comes to rping. That being said, I do not require you to have decades of writing experience in order to rp with me. In fact all I ask for anyone thinking of reaching out to me is that:

-You write in third person past tense and have decent spelling and grammar. I’m not going to be put off by the occasional bout of typonese, but I’m definitely going to be put off by writing that I cannot read at all or noticeable mistakes that are left uncorrected.

-You are capable of writing at least three well fleshed out paragraphs per response (this might change depending on what is going on in the rp at the time) with at least seven or more lines. I want someone who is capable of matching the effort I put into my replies and isn’t afraid to spend time making something chock full of detail or go over the discord word limit when it comes to writing a response. One liners/very small or short paragraphs that lack detail are a very big no go for me.

-You can respond at least once or more per day. I do not mind what time during the day that response happens as life comes before rp and I do not want you skipping over important things just to get it done.

-You are 18+. I’m in my twenties and not comfortable rping with minors as my role plays contain NSFW themes and other mature content. Your characters are also required to be 18+ as well.

-You are comfortable with rping against (but not necessarily as) alien characters that aren’t technically just humans from other planets. I’m not looking to rp as a human main character regardless of what we end up doing so please keep this in mind.

-You are capable of bringing ideas to the table, love to worldbuild, adore talking about our characters and aren’t afraid to throw in a plot twist every now and then.

-You will let me know if you have any problems with the rp and work through them with me as well as let me know if you need to take a break or might be busy. I will make sure to do the same.

-You are looking for a long term rp. I want this to be something that spans for months, maybe even years. Not just a couple days or weeks.

-You are comfortable with both MxM and FxM romances. I have no preference as to which one we do.

-You have discord.

I also ask for you to please not godmod, control my characters or spam me with hey/are you there/when are you going to reply/etc.

I AM NOT THE RPER FOR YOU IF:

-You are looking for a fast paced/rapid fire/one liner/short term rp. These types of rp’s just do not hold my interest. I’m also not looking for anything that isn’t a 1x1 rp (group rp’s are just not my thing) and I do not double.

-You are not comfortable with rping with non-humanoid looking aliens. That means anything that may have/has fur, scales, fangs, claws, tails, feathers, the ability to walk on walls or climb ceilings, multiple limbs, etc. If you are not comfortable with aliens that may have one or more of the above traits then please do not reach out to me.

-You are not looking for a slow burn romance or you fade to black when it comes to smut. Slow burn romances are a requirement for all of my rp’s and I feel that skipping out on the smut means we miss the chance to write about very important moments occurring between the characters. To put it simply, smut is important to me. Neither romance or smut will take over the main story of course.

-You are looking for someone to play as a female main character. I only play male main characters and cannot be persuaded to do otherwise.

-You cannot reply more than a couple of times a week. I tend to lose interest/motivation if I don’t get a reply at least every other day.

-You don’t have discord. I rp only on discord because I like making servers to keep things organised, other platforms just don’t work for me.

-You are not interested in doing a sci-fi rp. I’m not looking to do anything that isn’t sci-fi so please do not waste my time by messaging me and asking if I’m interested in other genres. I am also not currently interested in doing anything that isn’t one of the ideas I have listed.

With that out of the way, let’s get onto the ideas! Down below are the ideas that I’ve been hoping to write with someone. I’m open to brainstorming or mixing them together to create something new. Nothing is set in stone and I’m hoping to keep whatever plot we decide to do/make mostly fluid or free flowing, meaning that the entire course of the story isn’t entirely planned out at the beginning and we let the actions of our characters determine what happens next whilst occasionally planning what they next major plot point of the story is when we decide it’s time to fill our characters lives with even more drama.

Taking over:

The lifespan of a captain could sometimes end up being tragically short. It was the captain who was supposed to be the first to jump into their starfighter and guide their crew to victory whenever their ship was under threat, It was the captain who was expected to always be able to know what decisions were the right ones to make in regards to the welfare of the crew and it was the captain who took an oath upon receiving the keys to their ship to never put their own life before someone else’s even when faced with the most difficult decision of all. When the much loved captain of the alliance ship Maelstrom loses their life after a mission gone wrong their second in command is the one who is chosen to take their place as the new captain despite the angry protests from some of the crew members. Will the new captain be able to follow in the footsteps of the one before them and lead the Maelstrom to success whilst earning the respect of the crew, or will the burden be too much to bear?

New recruit:

Whenever talks about potentially receiving some new crew members came around it wasn’t uncommon for people to get a little bit crazy. Not everyone hated the idea of seeing a new face or two running around given it meant that there could potentially be less tasks for them to do before they got to clock out for the day, but that didn’t mean they were exactly okay with the idea that their job was potentially at risk of being handed to someone else if the captain decided that they were no longer performing at the required standards. Many of the current crew members took great pleasure in reminding any newcomers about their place on the ship and weren’t afraid to use their rank to get away with a little less than friendly behaviour when it came to doing such things to the point where it was often an unspoken rule amongst the other crew mates to not interfere with the “initiation” process lest the wraith be turned upon them instead. When the “initiation” process itself stopped depended on when the captain finally cared enough to intervene. When a new recruit arrives in the form of a previous high ranked person who was stripped of their title for insubordination, chaos of an entirely different kind takes hold.

The mission:

Seven. Seven alliance ships had disappeared without a trace or been destroyed by unforeseen yet suspicious circumstances. Mining asteroid explosions, ambush attacks, ship failures, all unfortunate yet unpredictable occurrences that were happening far too frequently for anyone to be able to just comfortably sit back and go on with life. With tensions between the alien and human race at an all time high, the alliance itself was desperately trying to find a way to keep the peace without causing a panic. Eventually, a proposal was made. In an all time first since the end of the great alien/human wars, an alien would be chosen and sent to work onboard a human ship. This was considered to be a very large step given many planets were still hostile to one another and the rumours circulating about the missing ships were sparking some strong reactions from both sides but the alliance was desperate….and so was the alien they were planning to send onboard. For them, it was their last and only chance to start a new life and to put a difficult past behind them. Little did anyone know, the appearance of this newcomer was more than just the first step towards changing life as many knew it for the known galaxies.

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the new alien crew member who is sent to work aboard an alliance ship with a human captain and crew. You can play as anything from a regular crew member to the captain.)

One unit, one goal:

When someone was part of a team, it felt like the people who fought beside them were all that really mattered. They cried on each other’s shoulders. They cheered each other on. They were there for each other through thick and thin. Most of the pilots who served under the galactic alliance were pretty tight knit with one another, meaning the pain of loss was worsened whenever such a tragedy struck. When a member of one of the alliance’s top intergalactic defence force teams loses their life during a search and capture mission that had gone wrong a new pilot is sent in as a replacement. As they struggle to find their place amongst people that seem to have no intention of moving on from their loss, a new threat slowly begins to rise with the intention of causing chaos and destruction on a scale that no one has ever seen before.

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the new pilot. you will be playing as a member of the team they’re joining.)

No easy way out: It was very rare for those who believed that their sole purpose in life was to reign terror and destruction upon those who dwelled within the known galaxies to take prisoners, even more so when said prisoner actively tries to fight back against their captors rather than quietly submitting and accepting their fate, and allowing them to live despite the trouble they cause. When a lone spacer is attacked by a captain who leads a crew of fairly notorious criminals that have been seen on more than just a couple of ruined wanted posters they are given one of two options to choose from: serve alongside them as a part of their crew in exchange for being allowed to live, or be left to face the vast depths of space alone in a ship that would soon become their tomb due to the state of disrepair it was in. Will the spacer accept their fate? Or will they take their last stand right there and then?

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the captured spacer. You will be playing the captain of the criminals.)

Stowaway:

Life in the known galaxies was harder for some than it was for most. Whilst many people were able to live freely with little rules and regulations as to what they did, others were bound by law to follow a certain way of life. Most accepted their predetermined paths and did their best to stay out of trouble, whilst for others it was just that little bit harder to accept the way things were supposedly meant to be. Especially when things could go downhill very quickly if one happened to be on the wrong side of those laws. Whilst many people frowned upon ship jumping, the act of sneaking onboard a ship and hiding away from its occupants in order to travel, some people felt like it was the only way to reach their destinations when a fresh start to their life was in order. When a stowaway is caught trying to hijack a ship, will mercy be given? Or will they find themselves facing a new threat?

(Important point of notice: I will be playing the stowaway. You will be playing the ship’s captain.)

Enslaved:

imagine living the life of one of the most successful people on the run that could exist. Galaxies trembled at your name. You and your crew swam in wealth and the going was good. Mutiny, sadly and sometimes not sadly, exists on its own accord. One person in particular reflected on this as they were forced to their feet. A collar attached to a chain and electromagnetic handcuffs prevented their escape as they stood for all those who cared to glance as they walked by in the market to see. No one wants to have their only life’s purpose be to serve another……only sometimes people don’t get that choice.

(Important point of notice: I’ll be playing the slave/servant. You’ll be the master/mistress.)

Across a sea of stars: Although they’d abandoned their less than humble watery origins well before the first spaceship had even been invented, Pirates were believed to be one of the biggest threats that anyone could encounter within the known galaxies. Those who were brave enough to attempt to navigate through the vast starry seas of space without a small fleet rallied behind them would often meet their fate at the hands of the bloodthirsty buccaneers whose lust for wealth and power had completely overtaken their ability to feel remorse for their actions. Any twinges of guilt that did attempt to surface were often easily washed away by consuming vast amounts of alcohol and then drunkenly brawling with other members of the crew during the celebratory dinners that came after a successful day of looting or the claiming of another captain’s ship as their own. When a ship is captured by the most feared pirate of all after accidentally flying into their territory and the crew fearfully plea for their lives, fate decides to take matters into its own hands in a most unexpected way. (Important point of notice: I will be playing the pirate captain. You will be playing as a member of the crew they’ve captured.)

Last chance:

Criminals, ranging from wannabe thieves to true crime lords, have been around long before anyone had even thought of the idea of building a spaceship and go where no one had ever been before. They’re often cunning, tricky to catch and more often than not are clever at disguising themselves whenever those wanted posters come up. It takes true talent to be on the wrong side of the laws that had been made by those long gone and get away with it. When a criminal that has been giving the alliance a run for their money has finally been captured, they are given a second chance to redeem themselves by having to work alongside the crew of the ship that captured them and even aid them to defend the ship if the need arises. Will this be enough to encourage a change of heart, or will it be the downfall of the crew and the alliance itself?

(Important point of notice: I’ll be playing the criminal, you will be playing as one of the crew members or even the captain of the ship.)

Betrothed: Long before other planets had even been discovered, and for far longer than anyone could truly remember, there had always been arranged marriages. Arranged marriages, or betrothals as they were more often called, consisted of pairing two people together and making them get married regardless of how they felt about one another in order to secure ties to another land or another planet for what many hoped would be forever. Political marriages benefited everyone but the married pair it always seemed. After all, no one could possibly be happy being married to a complete and utter stranger, could they? How does one who is betrothed build a life of love and prosperity when the one who bears the rings of their union is not the one who also bears their heart?

To those who have made it this far, thank you for reading! If you are interested in rping with me please do not hesitate to reach out to me via email (I do not rp through email but I’m more than happy for it to be where we first introduce ourselves to one another before moving to discord) or discord. Please note that I am in the eastern australian time zone so it might be a while before I respond/accept any requests you send my way due to possibly being asleep or busy depending on what time zone you are in. When you reach out to me please tell me what idea you liked, why you liked it and any ideas you may have. Please also include a little introduction and tell me what your favourite food is so that I know you’ve read the whole ad. Anyone who simply sends “hey I saw your ad and was interested!” Or some variation of that without an introduction will be ignored, simply sending me your favourite food will not work either as I use introductions to not only get to know the person I’m writing with a little bit and see if we click but to help break the ice a little bit and get the conversation going. My contact information is down below:

My discord: tiberionwars

My Gmail: lleo52560@gmail.com

Can’t wait to rp with anyone interested!

[theangryjikooker]

Personally I dont like vminkook dynamic. Sometimes they're weird together. Sometimes some of them (no name) seem jealous or petty, Sometimes I think they don't like each other. They're more comfortable together when there is Hobi. Did you notice that vminkook never hang out together? It's always jikook or taekook or vminkook + hobi. Vminkook never spend time together alone, not anymore.

This ask just seems underhandedly snarky towards the members, and from the way you ended it, I doubt you grasped anything my post was conveying–or at least failed to fully understand it. I literally mention this in my main Vminkook post that they’re not seen out together often (if at all, which mostly went without saying), but I’ve made no mention that this is somehow indicative of the type of relationship they have.

You don’t have to like the Vminkook dynamic, and they might seem weird to you–sure. There’s a reason why some of us are drawn to some of the members’ dynamics more than others. But you lost me as soon as you made jealousy/pettiness/general dislike of each other a specific focal point about why their dynamic seems off.

I talked about this under NAJ, which many of you aren’t privy to, but I’ve said before that Taehyung and Namjoon share a similar love of art, and yet we’ve neither seen nor heard of them hanging out outside of their job. You would think they would, all things considered. As far as the maknae line is concerned, Namjoon seems to spend the most time with Jimin. This must mean Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jungkook dislike each other, right?

Jungkook has collaborated with Yoongi, but as far as we know, they haven’t really hung out (unlike in their past where Yoongi took him out for skewers). Their dynamic has changed, and that’s quite weird too, right? To only use somebody when it works professionally but not enjoying R&R together?

Taehyung seems to find the most comfort within Wooga Squad in a way he can’t consistently get in BTS. His relationship with BTS seems disingenuous, then, right?

Jimin is notoriously close to Hoseok and Jungkook, sometimes Namjoon, but doesn’t spend a lot of quality time with the remaining members. There must be something going on there, right?

Jin frequently asks the members out for drinks, but it doesn’t seem like any of them readily take him up on his offer. The members must hate him, right?

Do you understand how insane all of you sound when you question their dynamic in this manner? 

I’ve never said that the members’ lack of quality time outside of work meant they’re not close. Do I think it’s odd? Yes, but it’s not a question of closeness but rather suggests something about their individualities and interests that I’m keen to look into. I want to get to know the members as people first and to respect and understand why and how they’re so different. We’re not in the BTS chapter anymore; we’re in the Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook chapter.

The one thing I won’t stand for, if I’ve not made it obvious enough, is people undermining how important they all clearly are to one another. To suggest that they don’t communicate their feelings should there be any discord when in order to become as big as they are, communication has been a key necessity, is so out of touch. They’re mature adults. They’re allowed to not like or enjoy the same things but still consider themselves close. 

The only people who can’t seem to understand this concept are those who are either too young and/or lack experience in navigating close relationships with varied personalities and knowing how and what it takes to maintain them.

So maybe Vminkook get on better when they’re in a work setting, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean they’re not close or harbor any ill feelings towards one another. Seriously, where have you been?

[beatrice-otter]

Fic: Schoolwork

Title: Schoolwork Author: Beatrice_Otter Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Characters: Jake Sisko & Kasidy Yates Written for: Ericine in Heart Attack Exchange 2023 Rating: K Length: 10k AN: Thank you to sixbeforelunch for the beta, and sovik on the Vulkhansu Discord for information about how long it takes to get from Bajor to DS9. According to secondary canon, Andorians have four sexes (zhen, shen, chan, and than), and these are important enough to be part of their names. On the show, what few times we see an Andorian, they use 'he' or 'she' which does not make sense to me if they genuinely have four sexes. (The show does tell us that Andorian marriage requires groups of four.) So I decided that the Andorian OC appearing in this fic is going to be of the chan sex and that the name of the sex doubles as a pronoun. At AO3. On Squidgeworld. On Ad Astra. On Dreamwidth. On Pillowfort. "So, when are you coming home?" Grampa asked. Jake made a face. "I don't have any plans for a vacation to Earth in the next few months," he said. "There's a lot going on here, and will be for a while. And the Federation News Service doesn't have anybody else on the station—it's a great opportunity, I don't want to miss it." They'd spent half the call so far talking about how busy he was, so he wasn't sure why his grandfather was asking when he was coming home. "I understand all that," Grandpa said with an air of patience. "But I mean, after that. Things will quiet down eventually, or they'll send someone else to cover things. Your father isn't stationed there any longer, and who knows how long it'll be before he gets back from wherever he is? And besides, you're a grown man; you don't have to live out in the far reaches of the galaxy just because it's where Starfleet sent your dad." "I know that," Jake said. If he hadn't been a grown man, he couldn't have stayed on the station when the Federation pulled out. "What's your point?" "I was assuming that you'd want to come home, to Earth," Grandpa said. "You talked about getting a writing fellowship at the Pennington School." "Grandpa, that was years ago," Jake protested. "A lot has changed since then!"

Grandpa waved his hand. "After all you've done, and the things you've published, I'm sure they'd be happy to have you. Or maybe you're interested in journalism school, instead?" "I'm getting some pretty good on-the-job training, and that's more important than anything I'd learn in school," Jake said. "Yes, but in the long run, a degree will do you good," Grandpa said. "You're good at academics, and going to college always helps broaden the mind. If nothing else, it's good to spend time with people your own age." "I think my mind is pretty broad, after all I've seen and done here on DS9," Jake said. "I don't know, maybe I'll see if Bajor has any writing schools or something—they had a really good educational system before the Cardassians, and they've been working to restore it." "You mean you're not even going to consider coming back to Earth?" Grandpa said, voice rising. "To be with your family?" "I have family here," Jake said. "And close friends. If I'm not here, who's going to teach my little sibling how to cook? Kasidy would never move to Earth, her shipping company has too many contacts in this part of space." He frowned. "Did you really think I was going to move back to Earth?" "Yes!" Grandpa said. "The posting to Bajor was only ever supposed to be temporary, of course I thought you'd come home!" Jake thought about that for a few seconds. "I've lived on Deep Space Nine longer than anywhere else I've lived in my life. And if you're talking about Earth … I've never actually lived there. The closest to Earth I've actually lived was Mars, when Dad was stationed at Utopia Planitia. Earth is your home, and Dad's—" although, actually, Dad had made it pretty clear he now considered Bajor his home, but this probably wasn't the time to remind Grandpa of that "—but it's not mine." Grandpa was taken aback. "You know," Jake said, "you could come out here. You did it once, in the middle of a war, no less! It'd be a lot safer now. Besides me, you're going to have another grandchild soon, and Kasidy is even busier than I am, with less reason to go to Earth. Don't you want to meet your grandbaby?" "Of course," Grandpa said. "But a visit isn't the same as having you living nearby." "I know, but Aunt Judith has been the only one of your kids living on the same planet since Uncle Nathan moved to Luna before I was even born," Jake said. "You must be used to it by now." "Used to it, yes," Grandpa said. "Happy with it, never. I thought, with four kids, surely at least one of them will have kids and live on the same planet!" Jake made a face. It wasn't that Grandpa complained about that often—he respected the life decisions of his children, and was proud of all of them—but it was heart-felt and deeply emotional when it did get made. "Don't make that face at me, young man," Grandpa said. "You'll understand what I'm saying if you have children of your own one day. Though at least I hope all of yours will stay on the same plane of existence, even if they do live scattered across the quadrant." "Yeah," Jake said with a sigh. "Me, too." He didn't think the Prophets would take an interest in him or any future children he might have, but what did he know? It wasn't something anybody could have predicted with Dad, either. "And who's going to run the restaurant with me gone?" Grandpa said. This was complaining for the sake of complaining; Jake knew his grandfather well enough to tell. Grandpa was never so happy as when he had something to complain about. And Jake didn't miss the fact that Grandpa was already taking a visit to the station as a done deal. "I can count the number of cooks I'd trust with it on the fingers of one hand … and most of them are busy. And don't suggest your Aunt Judith—even if she didn't have her own life, she's not one of the people I'd trust in my kitchen. Not when the food is being sold with my name on it." Jake shrugged and didn't bother suggesting either of his two uncles. Uncle David lived on Proxima and rarely came to Earth, and Uncle Nathan lived on Luna but couldn't cook to save his life. Normally, Jake enjoyed listening to his grandpa grouse, but the mention of his dad's absence touched a nerve. "If you can't find someone to take over for you, I'm sure it won't kill you or your customers to have the restaurant closed for a month or two." Grandpa grumbled a bit more, and before long, the time was up on the call. …… When there were no ships going through the wormhole—and that happened regularly but infrequently, these days—the view out the windows on the Promenade was much the same as from any portal on a ship or station. A starscape—pretty, but ordinary. "You look lost in thought." Jake smiled and turned to face Colonel Kira. "I was seeing how many Bajoran constellations I could recognize and remember the stories of." "How were you doing?" Kira asked. "I knew more of them when Dad and I were sailing that lightship," Jake said. "Even with all that happened on that trip, there was a lot of time that was pretty quiet. We read Bajoran stories about space and the constellations during some of it." And he'd shown Dad his first real story. Dad had read everything he wrote. Until he joined the Prophets. Kira didn't say anything, just put a hand on his shoulder. Jake appreciated that; there wasn't much anybody could say that hadn't been said. Bajoran or Federation, everybody had an opinion on his Dad, most of them thought they knew what Jake was feeling (or should be feeling), and none of them actually did. "I was just going to get lunch in Quark's," Kira said. "Want to join me?" "Keeping an eye on him?" Jake said, and they made their way down to the lower level. "He has been the perfect picture of a legal and upstanding businessman recently," Kira said. "So naturally you're suspicious." "So naturally I'm suspicious." Kira shrugged. "I haven't even been able to catch him running a betting pool on the next Kai." "That doesn't sound like him," Jake said. "There's a limit to how quiet you can keep something and still pass the word along to your customers, and Quark always errs on the side of more customers." "Exactly!" Kira said as they entered the bar and took a table off to the side. They were a little after the lunch rush, so there was plenty of room and things weren't too noisy. Broik was there to take their order as soon as they sat down. "Colonel Kira! Jake! Always a pleasure to have you here at Quark's. How's Captain Yates doing these days? Has she picked a name?" "She's fine," Jake said. If he said anything more than that, it would be all over the station in ten minutes, and all over the system in half an hour. "I'll have my usual," Kira said, and Jake was grateful for the interruption. Broik turned to her. "One ratamba-and-cheese sandwich, with fried bonja on the side." Jake almost asked for shrimp and grits, and then realized that asking for something his Dad used to cook would only make him miss him more. "I'll have katterpod stew," he said. Dad had tried a few recipes with it, but never gotten something he liked enough to add to the regular cooking rotation. Broik smiled toothily at them and whisked away to the replicators. "Maybe I should be looking for a betting pool on the baby," Kira said. "It wouldn't surprise me," Jake said. "But as long as they don't bother me or Kasidy about it, I really don't care." Kasidy wanted to keep the baby as out of the spotlight as possible, which Jake thought was a good idea, and part of that was not announcing sex or name or due date or any other detail until the baby was born. But discussing any of that here would be as good as announcing everything to Quark, and thus feeding the rumor mill. "So how are things in Ops these days?" Jake asked. "Strictly off the record," Kira said—she always did that, now that he was a regular reporter—"it's all routine. The diplomatic stuff is all handled by people a lot more senior than I am, and neither the Dominion nor the Breen have been making trouble, so we're back to the ordinary stuff. Handling wormhole traffic, cargo ships …" "… keeping Quark in line," Jake said. "Exactly!" Kira said. "It's amazing how quickly things just … went back to normal. It's so different from the end of the Cardassian Occupation." "Bajor was lucky," Jake said. "Neither the station nor the planet suffered much under Dominion rule." "The prophets were looking out for us," Kira said. "Warning us not to join the Federation before the war. Things would have been very different if they hadn't." Every Bajoran over the age of seven knew, from first-hand personal experience, just how bad things could have gotten. The Prophets had shielded them from the Dominion. They hadn't shielded them from the Cardassians before them. "Here we are!" Broik said. "Ratamba-and-cheese sandwich for the lady, and katterpod stew for the gentleman. Can I get you anything else?" "No, we're fine," Kira said. They applied themselves to their meal, and the conversation turned to lighter subjects. Jake recounted his call with Grandpa Joseph. "So now I'm wondering if I should be looking into schools on Bajor," Jake said. "See what kind of programs they have for writing or journalism." Kira shrugged. "I can't advise you there," she said. "It's not something I've ever had any experience with, or even known anybody who did. And before the Occupation my family were artists, artisans, crafters—not the caste that went to university. Pretty much all I can tell you is that our universities are actually one of the sticking points in the negotiations for Federation membership." "Really?" Jake said. "How's that?" He'd been keeping a close eye on the news stories coming out of the Bajoran capital, and none of them had mentioned the universities as anything more than a side issue. "The universities that survived the Cardassians—or which have managed to re-establish themselves since—are prickly and proud of their heritage. They used to be some of the best in the sector, you know." "I did know that," Jake said. "Even the Cardassians sent people to them, before the Occupation." "Exactly," Kira said. "But our ways of doing things don't quite mesh with the Federation educational systems. I don't understand all the specifics, and frankly, some of it seems a bit … petty. They agree on all the major points! But I don't know how long it's going to take them to come to an agreement. I don't think it will hold up the main talks, but it's certainly not helping them along." "Maybe that's something I should look into," Jake said. Much of the negotiations were happening behind closed doors, of course, and there were a couple of Federation journalists covering the talks who had much better chances of getting things out of the Federation negotiators than Jake did, given their experience and connections. But that meant they weren't getting much of the Bajoran perspective on the whole thing. Kira shrugged. "I wouldn't mind something in the Federation news about our side of the story—I know there's grumbling in Starfleet about us, that we backed out of joining before the war and aren't gratefully falling at their feet now." "But Bajor was crucial to the war effort," Jake protested. "The final victory couldn't have happened without you guys. And if you'd resisted earlier, who knows if you would have been in a position to do something once you actually had a shot?" "But we did sit out a lot of the war, while your people were fighting and dying," Kira said. "I don't blame them for it. In their shoes, I'd probably feel the same. But I don't want them taking that resentment out on us when we do join." …… "Do you have any contacts in Bajoran academia?" Jake asked Kasidy the next night. He was cooking jambalaya for dinner, since she was craving spicy food right now and it made him feel closer to Dad. He never cooked when it was just himself—too much effort for one person. "Not really," Kasidy said. She was sitting on the couch watching him cook. "Bajorans train spacers through an apprenticeship system that's separate from the academic aspect—they have sharp distinctions between different types of higher education, and I'm not quite sure where all the differences are or why they divide it up the way they do. Or even what parts of the system are remnants of the way the Cardassians did things, what are from the original Bajoran educational system, and what have been cobbled together in the decade since the Occupation ended. What I care most about is can I trust the dockworkers and maintenance engineers to take care of the Xhosa, and can I get crew I can rely on to help me run her—and so far, I've been really impressed with the training and professionalism I've seen." She shifted and adjusted the pillow behind her. "Why do you ask? Are you thinking about going to school on Bajor?" "No," Jake said absently, skewering a piece of porli to taste it. Porli didn't taste like chicken (though they did look a little bit like chickens when they were alive), but Jake actually preferred the Bajoran bird to the Terran one. "I mean, yes," he said, catching himself, "but that's not why I'm asking. Colonel Kira said something about one of the factors holding up the negotiations for Federation entry this time around is the universities, but none of the reporters covering the talks have mentioned it. I wanted to see if I could find anything, see if there was a story there." "Makes sense, but I can't help you," Kasidy said. "I wondered what the hold-up was—they've been talking about it for years, and last time they got right to the brink of signing, and would have signed if Ben hadn't warned the Bajorans off." "Last time, there was the pressure of the Dominion hanging over everything," Jake pointed out, "and Bajor didn't want to chance an invasion without Federation protection. Maybe there were compromises that were worth it under that kind of pressure, but not if they have some breathing room." "Good point," Kasidy said. "How long is it going to be? You know I love your Jambalaya, but if it's not ready soon I'm going to have to eat this couch." Jake eyed the amount of liquid left to be absorbed by the rice with an experienced eye. "Give it another five minutes? I won't be offended if you replicate a snack, you know; you're eating for two." "I think I can last five minutes," Kasidy said. "But next time, I probably will get a snack, if you really don't mind." "I really don't mind," Jake said. "Maybe I should look through the names and biographical information for the people on the Bajoran negotiating team, see if any of them have worked in a university, and just send a request for an interview out of the blue. It's awkward, if I don't have some sort of an introduction, though; Bajor didn't have a unified tradition of investigative journalism, just a series of newsletters and magazines collecting items of interest for different professions and castes. When I want to interview a Bajoran, I usually have to explain what news media is, first." "I'm sure they'll say yes to an interview from you," Kasidy said. "I'm sure they will, too," Jake said. "But I don't like trading on my Dad's status as Emissary, which is what it really boils down to." "I'm afraid that as long as you live in Bajoran space, that's going to happen whether you want it to or not," Kasidy said. She rubbed her stomach. "I didn't realize how much Dad was insulating me from that aspect of his life, until he wasn't here to do it any more," Jake admitted. "I think people care more about you now that he's with the Prophets, too," Kasidy said. "Most Bajorans will never go through the wormhole, never even come up to the station to see it, and they certainly won't ever see an Orb in person. For a few years, Benjamin was a tangible connection to the Prophets. Now he's gone … but you're still here to be a tangible connection to him. And a reason for him to come back someday." "I hope it's sooner rather than later," Jake said, staring down into the pot. "So do I," Kasidy said. "And between the two of us, I hope we can keep the little one protected from all of that," Jake said. "I'm sure we will," Kasidy said. "You're going to be an excellent big brother, Jake." "Thanks," Jake said. He turned off the stove. "Dinner's ready." Kasidy heaved herself up from the couch and joined him at the table. "Mm! This is so good, Jake," she said as she swallowed her first bite. They talked while they ate, eventually coming around to the subject of the house she and Dad had been planning to build on Bajor. "I just don't know," Kasidy said. "It's a lot of effort, building a house, and it's just far enough from the capital to be inconvenient for business purposes. It might turn into nothing more than a vacation home, and I don't know if that would be worth it. But then I ask myself, wouldn't it be wonderful to have it ready for him when he comes home?" She sighed. "What do you think?" "I think that if Dad wants that house so much, he can come back from the Celestial Temple and build it himself," Jake said. "Until he does, you're the one who'd be living there." He pushed some of the rice around his plate. For all that his Dad had talked about building a place on Bajor, it was hard to imagine him anywhere but the station, or some other Starfleet posting—the house would probably have been a vacation getaway no matter what, somewhere to retire to, not something to live in right away. A symbol of his roots on Bajor, more than a home. Kasidy hadn't been exaggerating how hungry she was, Jake noted; her first helping disappeared before he was even halfway through his plate, and she went back not only for seconds, but thirds. "It's nice to be appreciated," Jake said with a grin as she spooned out a generous helping. "You know how good a cook you are," Kasidy said. "And the baby is a true Sisko—loves those spices!" "Have you decided on a name?" Jake asked. "Not yet." "You don't have much time," Jake pointed out. "I know," Kasidy said with a sigh. "It's just hard, without Ben here to help. We hadn't really talked about names, before he left. Everything was so busy. I was wondering if maybe Joseph would be appropriate?" "I'm sure he'd have liked that, and I know Grandpa would," Jake said. "But Dad already got a chance to name a kid. This baby is his second, but your first. Maybe only! I don't know if you two would consider a second kid even if Dad comes back tomorrow. So you should name it what you want." "I'd like to name it something Benjamin will be happy with when he comes back," Kasidy said. "Yeah, well, if he wanted naming privileges maybe he should have stuck around," Jake said. He knew it hadn't exactly been his Dad's choice, and that whatever had gone down in the Fire Caves, the Pah Wraiths were evil and powerful enough that one person sacrificing themselves to stop their rise was more than worth it. And that the Prophets could have just let him die there; taking him to their plane was better than being dead. At least this way, there was a chance he'd come back. But it still hurt, and Kasidy was one of the few people he felt comfortable complaining to. Kasidy sighed again and changed the subject. "You know, I've had a number of people trying to volunteer to be the baby's nanny?" "A nanny?" Jake asked, wrinkling his nose. "A professional child caregiver who works for only one family, instead of for multiple families in a creche setting," Kasidy said. "I know what it is, I just didn't know they still existed outside of Victorian novels," Jake said. "Apparently they exist on Bajor. In some ways, I'm torn," Kasidy said. "Benjamin and I planned to do it the normal way—take turns staying home when the baby is young, and then put them in a creche while we work once they get a couple of years old. And in some ways, I'd like to do that. But it's a lot more practical with two parents than just one." "And it's also more practical when at least one parent has a stable job," Jake said. "You spend so much time moving around. Not just cargo runs, but also trips to Bajor and back. Without Dad, you're going to have to take the baby with you. And your ship isn't big enough to have a creche." "Exactly!" Kasidy said. "I might as well hire a nanny. I'm just not so sure how to find one on Bajor that isn't doing it just because they want to be closer to the Emissary, or mold the Emissary's child in some way." "Hiring someone from the Federation would prevent that," Jake said. "But then you'd have all the political questions of why you didn't hire a Bajoran, since you live here and work for the Bajoran government." "Not to mention, it seems like an awful lot of hassle," Kasidy said. "One of the managers at the Ministry of Commerce has kids, maybe I'll ask her what she would recommend." "Maybe you can ask who I should be interviewing for the Bajoran perspective on the negotiations, while you're at it," Jake said. …… In the end, Jake got his first contact by looking for academic connections on the negotiating team and sending out an interview request. Nemjon Lelra, Arch-Chancellor of the University of Kenda (the second-most prestigious university on Bajor), Doctor of Philology from the Ilvian University of the River (the most prestigious university on Bajor), Chair of the Institute of Historical Linguistics, and a few other impressive sounding titles that Jake didn't have time to fully research, was happy to grant him an audience. And 'grant an audience' was the right word, Jake thought, as a robed student showed him into Doctor Nemjon's receiving room. It was clearly not an office, nor a conference room, in the Federation sense. It was a large room with windows on three of the walls looking out on the gardens. The fourth wall was intricately carved, with scenes of scholars surrounding the university's emblem. Along that wall was a dais, and on that dais was a table, with Doctor Nemjon sitting in the middle of it, back to the carved wall, reading a PADD. She was an elderly woman, with immaculately styled white hair, deep wrinkles, and the sort of translucent skin the very old sometimes got. She was old enough to remember Bajor before the Occupation, maybe even old enough to have finished her schooling before the Cardassians showed up. She looked up and smiled as the student escorted Jake in. "Ah! Mister Sisko! I have been looking forward to meeting you. How kind of you to wish to share our side of the story." "Doctor Nemjon, it's an honor to meet you," Jake said. "I'm here to try and see that all sides of the story are covered, and I thought you might know the needs and wants of the Bajoran educational system better than anyone else." "Of course," Doctor Nemjon said. "Though I will note that while 'doctor' is not inaccurate, the title that you really should use is Arch-Chancellor." "I'm sorry for getting it wrong, Arch-Chancellor," Jake said. "I'm not very familiar with the titles and honorifics system in Bajoran academia, and I wasn't able to find many resources on the subject. Could your office send me a style guide?" He'd been speaking Bajoran, but he used English for the last, because he didn't know the Bajoran words for it. But the Universal Translator didn't translate it, so it must not be a concept Bajor had. "A what?" Nemjon said. "A document that has a guide to what titles are used, what they mean, and how to address people with them, and how to refer to them in writing if that's different from the way they should be spoken," Jake said. "Oh yes!" Nemjon said. "I believe we have something like that in our orientation packet for foreign students." "Actually, I'd love to see the whole packet, if it wouldn't be too much trouble," Jake said. That would kill two birds with one stone. It would be background for his article and it would be a place to start his research on whether he wanted to go to a Bajoran school. "I'll see that you get it," Nemjon said. She rose and came around the table, stepping down off the dais, robes swirling around her feet. "Now, I researched your Federation news service when the reporters showed up to the negotiations. It does seem to be an effective way of disseminating information, although I'm not sure I care for the way that internal affairs are made public for all the world to see. So I believe I know what to expect." She led the way over to a pair of upholstered chairs by the windows and sat in one, gesturing for Jake to take the other. "Great," Jake said as he sat down. "With your permission, I'll be recording this interview for my notes." Nemjon nodded. Jake tapped the 'record' button on his PADD. "Arch-Chancellor Nemjon, as I said in my interview request, I'm investigating the effect the dispute over academic oversight is having on the negotiations for Federation membership. You're a junior member of the negotiating team, can you explain what your role is?" "Certainly," Nemjon said. "My role is to represent the universities of Bajor, to see that our needs are respected in the negotiations." "What about the other schools of higher education that aren't universities?" Jake asked. "Do they get a seat at the table, or do you represent them, too?" "Schools of higher education?" Nemjon asked. "I'm not quite sure what you mean." "Schools that people go to after completing the basic level of education that all Bajorans are expected to finish," Jake said. Nemjon frowned, thinking that through. "Do you mean trade schools and lower colleges and guild schools?" "Yes," Jake said. "I'm not sure that I'd call what they do 'higher' education, unless the universities are 'highest.' Why should they need a seat at the negotiating table?" she asked. "Of course we are proud of the high quality of education in schools of all levels, but … they don't have the same weight of tradition that universities do. Nor is their work so abstract. The Federation has an excellent educational system, and I'm sure they'll be able to adapt quite well to the Federation system." She tilted her head. "That's actually one of the major sticking points, for the universities. The Federation educational system is very focused on metrics. Tests. Proving, objectively, how much a person knows about a given subject, and then ranking them against other students … and judging the university itself by how well its students do on such tests. Which is all well and good, and some subjects—including things like mechanical skills such as one would learn at a trade school—would do very well with that approach. But university education is, in the Bajoran tradition, quite different. The emphasis is on teaching how to think, not what to think. Especially in disciplines such as philosophy or literature. There is no single right way to be a philosopher or a writer; there is no technique or structure that is universal. And being able to describe the techniques and why they're useful wouldn't tell you anything about a person's ability to use those techniques or the quality of their thought. And it's quite possible for someone to create something that is flawless on a technical level, and has no soul. In fact, computers do it all the time. The aim of a Bajoran university, Mister Sisko, is to teach things that cannot be done by computer. To teach the art of our subjects, not the mere rules of them." "A commendable goal," Jake said. "How does it work in practice?" "Every student has both a professor and a senior student as a mentor," Nemjon said. "They work together to devise a course of study that suits both the student's strengths that should be nurtured, and their weaknesses that should be remedied. There are classes, of course, but also a great deal of individualized instruction with both professors and senior students. And peer study groups and peer critique are both essential parts of the system, as is research for fields in the sciences. When a professor believes a junior student in their care to be ready for promotion to senior student, they present them to the rest of the faculty, who then evaluate the student, and either agree to their promotion or give them areas to concentrate further study in. This happens again when the student is ready to matriculate. The specifics of what is required to progress to senior, and then to matriculate, are left to each department." She wrinkled her nose. "There are no set curriculums that are merely items to check off on a list. No one graduates without being worthy of being called a scholar of Bajor." "What happens when there is a conflict?" Jake asked. "When a mentor is wrong about whether a student is ready or not?" "That happens very rarely," Nemjon scoffed. "Students work with many professors besides their own mentor. When it happens that a professor is reluctant to promote a student for unworthy reasons, the rest of the faculty can exert pressure, and in certain circumstances overrule them. And of course either student or professor may request to sever the mentor relationship at any time, and the student will be taken on by another professor who may evaluate them differently. A student who believes the entire faculty is biased against them can receive an evaluation from a board of professors from other universities. Usually in such cases, the student is merely over-eager and perhaps a bit arrogant. But if they find that the student has been treated unfairly, they have a variety of possible responses, up to and including declaring themselves that the student is ready for promotion or matriculation, and the student's own university must then abide by that decision. But, again, the system very rarely breaks to that extent." Jake wasn't quite sure he believed her; the bit about tailored curriculum sounded great, and when the system worked he could see that it would provide a custom-tailored education to each student. But nothing was perfect. Still, that wasn't what his article was supposed to be about. "So, what's the specific problem with joining the Federation, for your universities? Federation policies don't usually govern internal affairs of schools." "Accreditation," Nemjon intoned. "The Federation wants us to prove—using the sort of metrics they care so much about—that our universities produce a quality education. Oh, we can arrange our own internal affairs, but in order for our scholars to be accepted at the same level as those of existing Federation universities, we would have to alter the degree requirements to fit Federation specifications. Of course I understand that there must be standards—if there aren't, there's no way of telling what schools actually turn produce scholars worthy of the name, and which don't. You can't simply go by reputation and history, because these things do change, unfortunately. And nobody wants people without qualifications to call themselves a university and give out honors people haven't earned so they can inflate their reputation without actual understanding to back it up. But still, there must be a better way to do it." She waved a hand. "The Federation's position on the whole issue is ridiculous. Before the Cardassians invaded, the Federation's university system recognized Bajoran universities as granting degrees of rough equivalence to their own. We have long-standing ties with a number of Federation planets, with regular exchanges of scholars and students, including Vulcan! There are existing reciprocal acknowledgments that should be the basis for our relationships going forward. But under the current terms the Federation is trying to insist upon, Bajoran universities would no longer be recognized unless we alter our curriculum and system of evaluation to fit within the Federation's requirements for university accreditation and degree conferral. Which is simply absurd. If our system was good enough to be accepted by the Federation when it was completely separate, why should it not now be sufficient? And to allow fitness for graduation be determined—even in part—by something so rote as test scores and objective evaluation and number of hours spent in a classroom … the very notion is an insult to our way of instruction. And every seven years we would be examined by Federation examiners to see that we are complying with their regulations and teaching with their pedagogy, not our own." Nemjon continued on, listing other points of contention, but accreditation was the main one. She required little input from him to lay out everything she thought in tedious detail. There were a few places where Jake thought she was wrong about what the practical requirements would mean for her university, and a couple of items he'd have to look up, but Federation stuff was easy to research, so it wouldn't take much time. Skeptical as he was about certain aspects of the Bajoran system, Jake thought it was pretty stupid that the Federation would recognize their worth when they were a foreign planet, and then turn around and not recognize them when they tried to join. He listened to her arguments, asked a few questions for clarification here and there, made notes of things to research further, and when she seemed to be running out of steam, he turned to a more practical question. "So," Jake said. "You've been quite thorough in explaining the reservations you have about the proposed changes to the university system that the Federation negotiating team has included in the current state of the treaty. And on the Bajoran negotiating team, you are a junior member. How much influence do you really have? What would you say are the chances they will override your recommendation and sign the treaty to join the Federation with these requirements in it?" Nemjon narrowed her eyes, slightly, and her lips curved in a slight smile. "Of course, nobody can say for certain, the team is quite large and I am, as you say, a junior member, at least in theory. But I am a member with a specific area of great importance as my sole responsibility. If everything else in the treaty was perfect, with no drawbacks whatsoever, I suppose it's possible they might ignore me. Or if the Dominion were to come charging back through the wormhole, or the Breen showed up on our doorstep with an armada, and we needed Federation protection to survive, then I would change my recommendation. Survival is more important than tradition, after all. But …" she spread her hands, "… under the present circumstances, I would be very surprised." …… Jake got a tour of the university after the interview, from one of the students. It was a lovely campus, though Jake couldn't quite picture himself studying here—everyone wore robes, and he wasn't sure he'd be comfortable in them. They weren't like the robes of Bajoran monks that he was used to; the style of tailoring was quite distinct, and there was a different color scheme, and they had hoods instead of hats. The student gave him a thorough tour of the place and then handed him over to the administrative offices, where they provided him with the foreign student orientation package and several other documents they thought might be useful. Glancing at them, Jake thought they probably would be, and wished they were publicly posted somewhere so he could have read them before the interview. In the Federation, data like this was easily available for everyone, and Starfleet had automatic access to most private or secure databases. Even if Jake, a civilian, couldn't access them, his Dad would help him out if he had a good enough reason for it and the information wasn't too sensitive. Starfleet as a whole might not have access to Bajor's private databases, but Deep Space Nine did, because it was a joint station. But Dad wasn't here to pull up information from him. Jake could have asked Colonel Kira, he supposed. Or Dax. Either would have done it, at least in this case. It just … hadn't occurred to him. He checked the messages on his PADD. There was one from Kasidy: a friend in the Ministry of Transportation had suggested he interview the Arch-Chancellor of a different university, who was apparently an up-and-comer in Bajoran academia, and might have a different perspective. Jake sent a message asking for an interview, and spent the rest of the day in the university's library at a com terminal that had a permanent hookup to the main Federation databases, looking up what the actual policies were for university accreditation and what the existing exceptions were. There were very few Federation policies that didn't have exceptions in specific cases; it was the only way to govern a society that large and diverse. Once he was done with his research, he ate dinner in one of the dining halls at the university—the food was pretty good, for institutional cooking, but it was from a different tradition than the Bajoran food they tended to get on Deep Space Nine, with less meat and more spices. Afterwards, he went to a concert put on by a group of students. It wasn't a style of music he was familiar with, but it was interesting. And he didn't get to go to many concerts; Deep Space Nine's permanent population wasn't big enough to support much in the way of music or theater groups. All in all, it was a good evening. If this was what university was like, he could see himself enjoying it. He got back to his hotel room and found a message from the guy Kasidy's contact had suggested, with an interview the day after next. Jake hadn't been planning on staying on Bajor for that long, but he put the time to good use, getting some of his research and notes into something like a rough draft. …… Chacos University of Lorojha was, in many ways, similar to the University of Kenda. There were the same sorts of buildings (though there were one or two here that had obviously been built under Cardassian rule), with lots of gardens in and around them. People walked around in academic robes, though as he was walking from the train station at the edge of campus to the administration building in the center, he did see a fair number of people in ordinary street clothes instead of robes. He felt a bit less conspicuous. At the administration building, they confirmed that Arch-Chancellor Ruce was indeed expecting him, and he was escorted to an audience hall very similar to that in Kenda. Three walls of windows, one wall of intricate art focused on the university's logo, with a dais and a long table under it, and a few seating arrangements of comfortable chairs scattered around the edges. But Ruce was waiting at one of those, rather than at the dais, and he invited Jake to join him right away. Jake did so, studying the scholar as he did. He hadn't had time to do much research on the man, just what he could dig up in the public records. And what he could dig up was a string of publications he hadn't had time to read, mostly focused on adapting the educational system as a whole to the post-Cardassian world. He'd been cited a lot in a bunch of other papers, too, and seemed to have quite a number of admirers, from what Jake could tell at a glance. He'd won a number of awards, too, both for individual writings and for work on various projects. Arch-Chancellor Ruce Vasun was much younger than Arch-Chancellor Nemjun; he'd been born and grew up during the Occupation. He was a powerfully-built man in his forties, with the scarred hands that told Jake he'd been used to do something hard, heavy, and dangerous under the Cardassians. Jake introduced himself and explained what he was here for. He summarized Nemjun's position, and asked if Ruce had any comment on the issue. Ruce considered this for a few moments before speaking. "Arch-Chancellor Nemjun is a wise and experienced scholar," he said. "And I absolutely agree with her on the value of the system we have now. It allows for us to tailor a course of study precisely to the needs and abilities of each student, and under ideal circumstances, the university is a carefully tended garden that helps the brightest minds on Bajor—and the surrounding sector—to grow and flourish. Certainly, there are many things that we should never compromise." "But?" Jake asked. There was definitely a 'but' coming. "But Arch-Chancellor Nemjun has dedicated the last decade of her life to trying to restore the university system to exactly what it was before the Cardassians came," Ruce said. "And that system, for all its many strengths, had serious flaws as well. For example, I would never have been allowed to attend university, in the old days." "Why not?" Jake asked. "My family belongs to the lowest caste," Ruce said. "Not allowed to own land, not allowed into most jobs or trades requiring any skill, in many cases not allowed to finish even secondary school, but expected to go to work as an adolescent. The Cardassians were terrible, of course; but life for my family didn't actually change all that much. It was only that under the Cardassians, most other Bajorans were suffering, too. And you may say, that's all so long ago, what does it matter that I would never have been allowed to dirty these halls with my presence a century ago. I'm here now, aren't I?" "And what would your response be to that question?" Jake asked, gamely taking the leading question when it was offered to him. This was wonderful. Not only was the whole issue one the Federation hadn't noticed yet, but he had intra-Bajoran disagreement as well. This would be a great article. "I'm here, but how many like me aren't?" Ruce said. He spread his hands. "There is still discrimination. I never personally experienced it—I was considered a brilliant, rising star from the moment I stepped foot on campus—but I saw it happen to others. Constantly. When the most average, unmemorable member of the scholarly caste gets promoted to Senior Student in under three years, and low-caste scholars of ten times their ability get passed over routinely and must take five or six years of study before reaching that same promotion—well. It's quite obvious that for all their noble words about only caring about training people to be their best, they have different expectations and different criteria for people of different castes." "Have you talked with Arch-Chancellor Nemjon about this?" Jake asked curiously. "What does she say about it?" "She tells me I'm a credit to my caste," Ruce said. "And that obviously, if the other low-caste students were as brilliant as I, they would have succeeded, so if they haven't it's proof that they are being treated fairly." He rolled his eyes. Jake winced. "You know, we used to have a caste system on Earth, too." Jake said. "Actually, we had different caste systems in different parts of the planet. But in America, where my family is from, that caste system was based on something called 'race.' Which was a combination of skin color and facial features. My Dad and I are what was called 'Black' in that system. It was the lowest caste. Our ancestors were enslaved, and it was illegal to teach us to read and write. And even after that was outlawed, there was a lot of injustice. I'm not as much of a history buff as my Dad is, but they used to say that sort of thing about us, too. That if we succeeded, we were a credit to our race, and proof that discrimination didn't exist, and if we didn't succeed, it was proof that we weren't worthy and the treatment we received was just." "That's very interesting," Ruce said. "I'd like to learn more. Did your father have any favorite books on the subject? We hear about his work as the Emissary, and as a Starfleet officer, but nothing about Sisko the man. And yet, of course, who he was as a man was what allowed him to do all the great things he did, and, Prophets willing, will continue to do." "I'll go through his library and see," Jake said. He smiled. Dad had always felt caught between his human heritage and Starfleet, and his role as the Emissary. People on either side of the species divide only ever saw half of him. It would be good to change that, in some small way. "Thank you!" Ruce said. "I don't have as much time to read for pleasure as I would like, but reading things outside my field of study is so important for spiritual and mental nourishment." "You're welcome," Jake said, and tried to drag the interview back on track. He probably shouldn't have derailed it like that. "So are you in favor of the Federation system being imposed on Bajoran universities? After all, with more weight on grades and objective evaluations, and less weight on how professors feel about their students, surely there would be less room for prejudice to affect someone's course of study." Ruce shook his head. "I'm not naïve enough to think that professors with a bias against their low-caste students will grade them on the same metric they grade their high-caste students," he said. "Outside of tests on facts memorized, any evaluation has room for mis-assessment. And rote memorization has little place in a Bajoran university. Having to put a number value on an essay's quality won't make someone miraculously more just in appraisal of its merits. It will only teach them to better justify their biases. And if all you care about are a bare recitation of facts, well, a computer can do that better than any living being." "So what do you think should be done?" Jake asked. "Oh, I have a lot of ideas about that," Ruce said. "Though whether any of them will be practical once we join the Federation will depend on a great many other factors. But! My first suggestion would be that any time a student of a low caste is to be evaluated, at least one academic from their caste should be on the panel of professors. If there isn't one at that particular university, they can bring in one from another university. It's something we do in other cases when a student might not be judged fairly, for one reason or another—a feud between their family and one or more of the professors of their university is the most traditional reason, but there are others." Jake wanted to hear more about such feuds, but that wasn't what his story was about, so he didn't ask a follow-up about that. Instead, he asked about other ideas for improving Bajor's higher education, and what Ruce thought about the Federation's system. …… Once the interview was done, Ruce walked him back to the train station personally. "I did look you up, Mr. Sisko," he said as they strolled down a tree-lined path. "And you are an excellent writer, but I notice you haven't attended university yourself. Which is curious, because I understand the Federation puts almost as much stock in education as Bajor does." "I always assumed I'd go, and probably will sooner rather than later," Jake said. "But then life kinda got in the way." "It does that, yes," Ruce said. "Have you ever thought about attending school on Bajor?" "Yeah," Jake said. "And it'd be very convenient, and you have a lot of schools with really great writing programs, which is great. But right now, I'm already working in the field. I'm a journalist, and I like doing it, and I don't want to stop doing it or take time off. And Bajor doesn't have journalism as a field, so you don't have it as a course of study that I've found." "We don't," Ruce confirmed. "And you don't have provisions for part time study or distance learning, so it would be hard to continue working as a journalist and go to school at the same time," Jake said. "On the other hand, if I go back to school on Earth, I definitely couldn't keep reporting on Bajoran matters, and that's where all my knowledge and contacts are. There are a lot of journalists on Earth—I'd be a small fish in a big pond. Here, I'm the leader in the field." He hadn't mentioned any of this to Grandpa or Kasidy, or even Dad before he joined the Prophets, because he knew what they'd say: that was short-term thinking, he had the rest of his life to be a journalist, and education was important. But he had the rest of his life for education, too. And he didn't want to leave the field and go get a degree, only to find out when he got back that others had taken his spot and he'd have to start from the bottom again. Ruce hummed. "You know, the great benefit of the Bajoran system—the lack of a set curriculum that so distresses the Federation—is that we can tailor a course of study to a particular student's interests and skills," he pointed out. "And when we don't have the particular expertise needed here, we do collaborate with other universities on other planets. The Vulcan Academy of Arts and Social Wisdom is particularly receptive to long-term partnerships. We just had a student matriculate who had two mentors: one on the faculty here, and one at the Vulcan Academy. I believe she took some of her classes over subspace, and worked closely with her Vulcan mentor over subspace, though they never met in person. We might not know journalism, but we know writing, and we could find a mentor at a Federation university for the things specific to your field." "That sounds amazing," Jake said. "I never thought of that." "Why would you?" Ruce said. "But it is a possibility, and having read your essay 'Nor the Battle to the Strong,' I think you would do very well with Doctor Zaje as your mentor." "I'll consider it," Jake said as they arrived at the train station. "Safe journeys, Mr. Sisko," Ruce said. "I hope we meet again." "Likewise, Arch-Chancellor," Jake said. …… Jake spent the train ride back to the capital organizing his notes from the second interview and figuring out how to re-arrange the article to accommodate them. He got so engrossed in work that he forgot to eat on the train, and had to grab something quick and greasy in the station to eat on the way to the large Cardassian-built office building where most of the ministers had their offices. He got a five minute interview with the head of the negotiating team—five minutes was all he needed to get a quote from the article—and then to a hotel room where he finished a rough draft of the article, sent it off to a few Federation universities to see if they had any comment on it, and collapsed into bed. The next morning he checked his messages: most had either not replied yet or sent back a polite 'no comment.' The Vulcan Academy of the Arts and Social Wisdom, however, had a long response from the head of their interplanetary collaboration unit. Jake skimmed it. It was fairly long-winded (unsurprising), but it didn't come down on either side of the issue. The interesting thing it pointed out, however, was that the basic Federation evaluation criteria and guidelines for higher education had been hammered out at the Founding and largely ignored thereafter. It reflected a four-way compromise between Humans, Vulcans, Andorians, and Tellarites … and every other planet that entered later had been shoehorned in willy-nilly, on the assumption that the Federation system was the best way to do things. It ended by saying that perhaps the Federation system was due for a reappraisal. Jake didn't have room for the whole thing in his article, but he summarized the most important bit and added the closest thing to a short, pithy quote in the whole response. Maybe he could get his editor to include it as a sidebar. After an hour of writing and editing, the article was in much better shape. Jake could fuss with it more—he could always fuss with his writing more, he sometimes got stuck in edit mode, chasing the impossibility of perfection—but he had an appointment. He had an actual press conference to attend this morning. They weren't a Bajoran tradition, so he'd only rarely been to them; but the Federation Ambassador was having a question and answer session with the three Federation journalists covering the talks, and it was open to anybody, and Jake was going. …… The press conference was in an ordinary room in the Ministry building, a small room with no windows, that could have been on the station. It had that same vibe of "Cardassian aesthetics, with Bajoran and Federation elements to lighten it up." The podium with the Federation seal only added to the effect. Jake recognized the three Federation civilians already in the room as the journalists covering the talks. They glanced over at him, but showed no interest, continuing to talk amongst themselves. Well, he supposed this was normal for them. They'd been here for months, the talks were stalled, and every week someone on the Federation staff gave a press conference about what had been accomplished (or not accomplished) that week. Lately it hadn't been very much. Jake was lucky; the job of talking to the press was rotating between the Ambassador and his two top aides. And today, it was Ambassador Eshes ch'Shratis chanself. The ambassador was right on time. Chan walked briskly into the room with a PADD in his hand and took chans place at the podium with the ease of long habit. Chan was wearing a yellow suit that was of a color fashionable on Bajor right now, and which contrasted nicely with chan's blue skin. Eshes scanned the room and blinked when chan saw Jake, but went right into chans prepared speech. Apparently nothing of note had been accomplished that week, but chan was adept at saying nothing at great length. At last it was time for questions. The other reporters had a few—nothing terribly interesting, because nothing interesting had happened—which the ambassador answered at just as great a length as chan's initial speech. Jake kept raising his hand, but chan called on him only after answering questions from the three reporters chan knew. "Jake Sisko, Federation News Service," Jake said, when he was called on. "Ambassador, what is your position on the Bajorans dragging out the negotiations because of the university issue? Is there room for compromise with Federation educational standards?" "University issue?" Ambassador Eshes said, squinting at him. "What university issue?" "Bajor is extremely proud of its universities," Jake explained. "They've put a lot of effort into restoring them after the Cardassians left, and the professor on the Bajoran negotiating team—Arch-Chancellor Nemjan Lelra of the University of Kenda—is absolutely opposed to the imposition of Federation-style academic metrics onto the Bajoran universities. And the rest of the team is listening to her. That's one reason things have stalled. What do you think about the issue?" "I have a great deal of respect for Doctor Nemjan," Ambassador Eshes said. Not, Jake noticed, enough respect to have learned her proper title. "And certainly, we have had many discussions about how best to handle the issue of university accreditation and the standards required for various degrees," Eshes went on. "But it hasn't been affecting the rest of the negotiations. Things have stalled based on a variety of other factors, which I have just finished explaining." "That's not what Minister Jekkuk said, when I asked him about it," Jake said, speaking quickly before Eshes could list all the factors (again). "When did you speak to the Minister?" Eshes asked. Chans antennae quivered but didn't quite draw back. "Yesterday, after the close of negotiations," Jake said. "Would you like to hear what she said?" "Yes, please," Eshes said. Jake had the audio clip cued up and ready to go. He set his PADD's speakers to max and hit play. Minister Jekkuk's voice filled the room. "The issue of university governance is not the only issue at stake, of course; but it is the most serious one on which no fruitful discussion has been possible. Federation intransigence on this issue, so core to our peoples' history and tradition, has certainly caused me to reconsider the benefits of Federation membership. If they treat our great wisdom-leaders thus when they are negotiating, how badly will they treat them—and the rest of us—once we have joined?" The clip ended, and the room was silent. Eshes stared at him, antennae low. "Any comment, Ambassador?" Jake asked. "No," Eshes said, and walked out of the room. The other reporters went a bit nuts. …… "How'd you get Jekkuk to talk?" the Tellarite journalist demanded. They'd calmed down, a bit, after that first rush when they'd been asking so many questions at the same time that Jake couldn't hear any of them. "I asked," Jake said. "You're the Emissary's son, aren't you? Nepotism." He snorted derisively. "Maybe a little," Jake said. "But I think it was more that I started with Arch-Chancellor Nemjun, and asked for the Minister's comment after I'd already talked with her. And used the right title. 'Doctor' isn't inaccurate—it's just lesser, and less formal. And unlike the Federation, Bajorans have different words for different types of doctorates, and the universities are stuck up that their degrees are more prestigious than degrees from the other schools that the Federation also calls doctorates. So being called a Doctor in Bajoran—using the correct word—is informal but not bad. Calling her 'doctor' in Federation Standard, in Bajoran eyes, is demoting her to the status of someone who went to a trade school or something. I've got a whole information packet on stuff like that, if you want it." "Yes, please," the Betazoid said. "Why isn't that publicly posted anywhere? I knew the Bajorans got prickly whenever she was addressed, but I didn't know why. It's not like anyone was trying to insult her." Jake shrugged. "It wasn't publicly posted anywhere, but I asked her university and they gave me the information packet they give new students from off-world, and that's part of it. I don't know why nobody said anything." "So what tipped you off?" the human reporter asked. "Colonel Kira, commander of Deep Space Nine, gets the Bajoran government's internal reports," Jake said. "She mentioned the issue, and I took it from there." "A good friend to have," the Betazoid said. "What other friends have you made while researching this subject?" Jake opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. "You're reporters, aren't you?" he said. "Get your own sources." The human laughed. "I like you, Jake Sisko. Will you be around for drinks tonight?" "Nah," Jake said. "My shuttle back to the station leaves in three hours." "He swoops in, scoops the lot of us, and swans back out without even having a drink," the Tellarite said. "Next time, you watch yourself, I'll be scooping you." "You can try," Jake said. …… Jake found a café and ate lunch while adding Ambassador Eshes' 'no comment.' Then he found a public comm terminal and sent his article off to the Federation News Service. He got to the shuttleport in time to buy a ticket for the late-afternoon shuttle to the station, and settled into his seat. The trip took almost six hours—the ancient shuttle, stuffed to the gills with passengers and cargo, was not as fast as a runabout, and Bajor's current place in its orbital cycle took it far from the station. Jake used the time to poke through his father's history library. He found some about racial categories and history in the United States that he thought Arch-Chancellor Ruce would like, and a general primer on Earth history for background, but hesitated before sending them. Should he send a clean copy, or one with his father's notes included? In some ways, he wanted someone to see his father as the man who read history, not the Emissary. But there was no guarantee that anyone else would see what Jake saw in those notes. Ruce seemed nice, but … Jake didn't know him well enough. He sent the books clean, without the notes. …… Kasidy was off on a cargo run when he reached the station, so the Sisko quarters were empty and echoing. Jake holed up in his bedroom and checked his messages—and found to his dismay that his article had been rejected. He called up his editor, and got the night-shift editor instead. "Nobody in the Federation cares about Bajoran academics," the night-shift editor said. "It's about the negotiations for Bajoran entry," Jake said. "And there are a lot of people who care about that. The academics is why the talks have been stalled for so long." "Are you sure about that?" "Did you even read it?" Jake demanded. "I've got the university Arch-Chancellor on the negotiating team saying that they're not going to sign a treaty she's not happy with unless the Dominion comes boiling through the wormhole again, and Minister Jekkuk basically said she was right! And I've got a comment from the Vulcan Academy of Arts and Social Wisdom on the whole thing." "Fine, I'll take another look." "Do that," Jake insisted. "There were other reporters around when I asked Ambassador Eshes for a comment, I'd rather the story gets published before one of them files a story on the issue." …… Once the call was over, Jake wandered out into the living room to get dinner from the replicator. He didn't take his food back to his room, because that would only highlight that Dad wasn't here. In the Sisko home, meals were eaten together whenever possible, and even when it was not, you ate properly at the table. The last time he'd been so alone in his quarters, it had been during the Dominion occupation of the system. But Dad had been alive and corporeal then, just on the other side of the sector, doing his best to come back and retake the system. There was no Dominion, now, hanging over everything. Jake didn't have to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing and being executed as an example. Which meant he had more time to notice how empty things were. Jake ate his dinner, and thought about Ruce's offer of a custom-designed journalism degree. And spending a few years on that beautiful, tree-lined campus. It sounded a lot more attractive now than it had when he was in the middle of chasing down people to interview and getting to ambush an ambassador with questions he wasn't expecting. …… "That was a great article, Jake," Nog said the next day over lunch. Jake had been reading in an out-of-the-way corner of the Promenade, preferring the hustle and bustle to the tomb-like quiet of the Sisko quarters. Nog had spotted him and dragged him to the Replimat for lunch. "Thank you," Jake said. "What was your favorite bit?" Nog shrugged. "I think it's that you clearly laid out the benefits and drawbacks of both the Federation system and the Bajoran one, so people can draw their own conclusions about what they think about them," he said. "And what would have to change to make Bajor fit the current Federation system as-is. It really showed what's at stake." "Good," Jake said. "I worked hard on that bit." "I would have talked more about who profits from the current systems, and how," Nog said. "Nobody profits," Jake said. "The Federation doesn't work like that." "Benefits, then," Nog said. "Not all profits are financial." "True." Jake shrugged. It was a good point, and he'd keep it in mind for the future. "I think it's all a stupid fuss over nothing, anyway," Nog said, "but if the Bajorans think it's important enough to hold up the negotiations, it's worth paying attention to." "Yeah," Jake said. "Arch-Chancellor Nemjon made it sound like the Federation system was completely unreasonable, but we've got a lot of good schools ourselves." "From your article, it seems like Bajoran universities aren't very … practical," Nog said. "Not like Starfleet, which balanced theory with training on how to handle real-life problems. A little dose of having to apply their high-minded rhetoric to something a little more concrete might be good for them." "What's higher education like on Ferenginar?" Jake asked. "Expensive," Nog said. "And the quality varies—if you're not paying through the ear, you're probably not getting very good teachers. And they don't tend to spend much time at all on theoretical stuff, unless it's necessary to understand something that might turn a profit. I could never have afforded a school worth going to on Ferenginar, and I wouldn't have learned as much about myself and the galaxy, anyway." "So you liked Starfleet Academy?" Jake asked. "There were good parts and bad parts," Nog said. "It was a lot harder being the only Ferengi there than it was being the only Ferengi kid on the station. But it helped me grow and learn about who I am and how I relate to the people around me, and what I care about, in addition to the stuff about engineering and piloting and combat and how to handle first contact." Jake hummed thoughtfully. Nog's comm badge chirped. "Nog here," he said. "Lieutenant, I'm sorry to bother you at lunch, but there's been an accident on the docking ring," the Ops officer on duty said. "No casualties, but it's messed up all our docking and cargo transshipping schedules, and you're needed to sort things out." Nog sighed. "I'll be right there," he said. "Can we do something this evening?" Jake asked. "Maybe something on the holosuites?" Nog grimaced. "I'd love to, but I have a double shift," he said. "One of my people is sick, and another had a family emergency and had to leave, and we're still not back at pre-War staffing levels yet so we don't have coverage for emergencies. Hopefully things will calm down soon." "All right," Jake said, disappointed. "Well, good luck." …… Kassidy was gone for almost two weeks this time, and Jake spent the time writing a few other articles—mostly puff pieces—and responses to comments on the university article. There were four different editorials on the subject of Federation university accreditation in major news outlets by the end of the week, which was a much stronger response than Jake had gotten to any of his articles since the war had ended. Grandpa sent a message with congratulations on the article, and complaints that arranging travel to Bajor was almost as complicated now as it had been with a war on. The proposed visit was now a certainty, but it might take a while, because his grandfather was going to stop by Proxima to visit Uncle David first. When Jake wasn't working, he read books from his father's library. He'd sorted them by which ones he hadn't already read, and then by which ones had the most comments. Dad had been a very well-read man, and Jake found them all interesting. It helped him feel a little closer to his father, but it didn't help the quarters feel any less lonely. "How was your cargo run?" Jake asked when Kasidy got back. "It's always good to be out among the stars, with no other concerns than running the ship," Kasidy said. "Congratulations on the article, by the way." "Thanks," Jake said. "It seems to have touched a nerve. I've actually gotten a request to appear on a panel discussion about it." "Did you accept?" Kasidy asked. "Are you kidding?" Jake said incredulously. "Everything I know on the subject ended up in the article. I'm not exactly an expert on Bajoran education, just the only person who asked the right questions to the right people." "Don't sell yourself short," Kasidy said. "That's probably the most important thing a journalist can do, I'd think." "I'm not selling myself short," Jake said. "I'm just saying that knowing what questions to ask is not the same thing as knowing enough on the subject to talk intelligently about it on a panel discussion. I've never even been to university." "Is that something you're interested in?" Kasidy asked. "Your dad said something about a school back on Earth, after the war was over?" Jake rolled his eyes. "Not you too. Grandpa wants me to come back to Earth for college. I don't want to give up being a reporter now that I've got my foot in the door. And if Dad does come back in a year—or yesterday, whatever that means—I'd rather be closer when he shows up."  He paused. "Actually, I've been thinking about going to school on Bajor. They don't have journalism programs, but they do customized courses of study and they've got some really good writing programs. And because they focus more on individualized learning than on taking set classes, it'd be easy to make time for reporting." "Sounds like it's right up your alley," Kasidy said. …… The next day they spent working together in the living room. Jake had a bunch of PADDs spread out around him on the couch, and Kasidy took over the table with her paperwork. "You don't usually spend this much time on administrative stuff in a single day," Jake noted that afternoon. "I wasn't able to get as much done during the run as I usually would, and we're shipping out again tomorrow," Kasidy said absently without looking up. "Tomorrow?" Jake said. "But you just got back!" "And in a few months I'll be taking a year of parental leave," Kasidy said. "I've got a great crew, but there's some things I like doing myself, and there's a lot to do to get ready." She was right, of course, but that didn't make the thought any easier. Jake sighed. Kasidy looked up, frowning. "Is something wrong, Jake?" "These quarters are really empty with both you and Dad gone, is all," Jake said. "Ah," Kasidy said. She sat back in her chair. "I noticed the same thing, when you left for Bajor for your article. But I had a cargo run to make, and the ship really hasn't changed since before the war, so it felt very homey." "I've thought about asking for quarters of my own, but space is at a premium on the station," Jake said. With the war ended and trade with the Gamma Quadrant resumed (even on a limited basis), the station was a very busy place. "You could probably get something if you really wanted, but you might have to trade on your Dad's status as Emissary," Kasidy said. "And it didn't help that Nog was really busy and didn't have time to hang out," Jake said. "That's actually one of the reasons that university on Bajor sounds so good right now—a different setting, but close enough I could still visit the station pretty easily, and see you and the baby and hang out with Nog. And enough work to keep me really busy." Kasidy considered this. "I think you'd do well in university, and a change of environment might be good for you," she said. "But also, you'll get more out of it if you're going to school because you want it, not because you're trying to escape from something else." "I just don't know where else I'd go, on Bajor," Jake said. "I know I don't want to live on Earth, like Grandpa wants me to." "There's the house," Kasidy said. "The construction crew is going to be breaking ground next month. You could go and keep an eye on the whole process, and then move in when it's done." "You're going ahead with it?" Jake said, cocking his head." Kasidy shrugged. "I love your father, but I'm not going to put my life on hold waiting for him. Being able to go outside and play outdoors is good for babies and small children. And I could do with a change, myself—and even after I'm done with parental leave, I don't have to base myself here on the station. I don't trade through the wormhole very often, so for most things being based on Bajor itself would be at least as handy. I live here because it's where Ben was stationed. But he's not, any longer." "Yeah," Jake said. He thought about that for a bit. "I think … I wouldn't mind helping build the house, but I wouldn't want to live there. For me, it'd feel like … like I was just treading water, waiting for Dad to come back. I don't want to put my life on hold, either." "He wouldn't want that, for either of us," Kasidy said. "Would going to university feel like you were moving forward?" "I think it would," Jake said. "I really think it would."

[custom-emojis]

genq do you ever wonder if it’s like. worth it. bc if i were y’all id have deleted my entire social media presence 12x over by now

Oh every fucking day. Y’all have no idea 😂 like I don’t wanna complain or seem all woe is me. But i have considered burning this blog to the ground multiple times and especially lately it really does kinda take a toll on me. Here’s a list of various things I deal with due to this blog AND it’s associated discord;

I cannot talk about any of my interests or opinions lest be ripped apart and have my income demolished

People purposely going out of their way to trigger me? For some reason

Blatant transphobia and misgendering ? For some reason?

Death threats????? For some reason???????

Directly being told I deserved and likely enjoyed my abuse

Having my content stolen, reuploaded and edited near constantly

Having said stolen content made into stickers and sold on websites like Aliexpress where I can’t get them taken down

People making literal hate videos about me because I… expressed my sexuality?

This is lesser but. A lot of people just fucking demand content straight up? No thanks, no please. Not even context. I get a lot of asks that are just ‘x emoji’ or just a single word of what they want with no explanation.

People coming into my DMs and just venting and traumadumping to me COMPLETELY unprompted when I’d never talked to them in my life because I’m ‘popular’ and I guess that’s just acceptable to them?

People entirely only interacting with me with the intentions of boosting their own shit / getting stuff out of it ?? Which like idk I don’t mind helping people out but I would prefer if ppl also like. Interacted outside of that

People going out of their way to just straight up ask my discourse opinions? Or just straight up telling me theirs! No matter how many times I say it’s a trigger and that I want no part in it. Similarly, people just fucking assigning a discourse opinion to me that they feel fits best and spreading that as if it’s fact when I’ve not said anything about it.

People just. Straight up thinking I’m their best friend? Or even being actively affectionate or even romantic towards me when we’ve never interacted before?

A whole slew of the weird and absolutely absurd shit ppl send to me on anon. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time you’ve surely seen some

People like. Obsessing and idolizing my relationships? Like it gets really creepy sometimes how much ppl get rly into my dating life. ^^;

And like. That’s just what I thought up on the fly with my husband. And sure to an extent some of this is just tumblr being tumblr. Or people being shitty. But the fact all this happens and revolves around an emoji blog is a little wild. Don’t get me wrong- I love running this blog. And I will continue to. I definitely think the pros outweigh the cons. But I also think a lot of ppl don’t quite realize how much comes from it bc I really don’t post as much abt the bad as I used to. Ppl… complained abt it lol ppl complained abt me answering anon hate and complained that I posted negative content at all, so I just stopped unless I feel it’s

Important

Funny or I can make fun of them

Something I need to set a hard boundary on.

Anyways I didn’t rly expect to go on such a rant. I’ve just been super burnt out and thinking abt this a lot lately. I don’t plan to stop doing it anytime soon but I’ve been trying to kinda. Be a bit more stern on shit and hold my ground a bit more. Thanks for the ask honestly, gave me a reason to sit down and explain some of this.

[talenlee]

Game Pile: Scourge, the Magic Set

Magic: The Gathering has some really interesting things recently coming into my space. In the past literal full year at this point, Wizards of the Coast have released products that do nothing but personally irritate me, and the horizon shows no abatement on that score. I hate Urza, I hate Mishra, I hate the Phyrexians and the only reason I don’t flat-out hate Dominaria is Kelly Digges’ work on worldbuilding that space being absolutely breathtaking to consider as a form of craft. These are spaces for which I have literally no actual emotional attachment, stories that I want over and gone as soon as possible so that Wizards can maybe pursue the dream of twenty years ago presented by Mirrodin of maybe not just continuing to write the same story in the same generic fantasy plane over and over, badly. But then they went and hired the Pinkertons.

I didn’t want to talk about this article this way. I wanted to reflect on the twenty years I’ve been playing this game and the twenty years I’ve been designing custom cards for it. I wanted to reflect on the importance of a game that maybe, part of me wonders, could have been my life, and which could have connected me even closer to some people who I think of as incredible and amazing and beautiful, but talking about that, and reflecting on that, feels deeply irresponsible because wizards went and hired the Pinkertons.

I know that I started playing Magic: The Gathering in 2003. I know the day even. I know because the day beforehand, I called the comic store and asked them about what would be involved to get into Magic: The Gathering. They told me that hey, come in tomorrow, buy a precon from the brand new set, Scourge. I literally started playing this game on the release date for Scourge and that means that I know definitively, that I’ve been playing this game for twenty years, sandwiched between the very last set printed on the ‘old’ card face and this year, where Wizards have printed ten nostalgia sets in a row, one of which resulted in them hiring the Pinkertons.

Sometimes it’s strange to me to see the way that Wizards engages the nostalgia of long term fans of Magic: The Gathering. I am one of those long term fans. I have been engaged with Magic: The Gathering for all of those twenty years. It got me writing. It made me connections between people who were important to me at the time, and at least one person who – and I know this sounds like nothing, but – when Twitter collapsed, was one of those people I contacted to send my Discord information to. Magic The Gathering is part of my Masters thesis, it’s part of my PhD, I’ve pushed to put its idea space in inclusion in general media studies. It’s such an important part of my life, and yet by and large if you ask me about what sets are about and the characters they’re about, I dislike most of it. The whole of the history of Magic from the moment I got started on to now is a neverending series of complaints, like how earlier this year they hired the Pinkertons.

When I started with Magic: The Gathering, part of the problem was the story. I could tell there was something, and I wanted to learn about it, and I read a bunch of the novels and the lore that was available at the time. This is, in hindisght, a terrible idea, because Magic’s story wasn’t very good at this point in time. The Odyssey and Onslaught storylines were an attempt to make a fresh start from the story of previous editions, the Invasion storyline and its prior narrative. That story focused on the narrative of Gerard and Volrath, following on the story of Urza, a genocidal eugenecist. These characters, broadly speaking, all sucked, and were dead when I arrived, and ‘our side’ of them, the one we were meant to regard as a tragic hero was a literal actual eugenecist and committed genocides, so I kinda didn’t… care about them? They’re bad. They’re assholes. Tell you what, Urza wouldn’t find anything wrong with hiring the Pinkertons.

The story we got in OTJ-OLS was full of problems and ideas I disliked, too, and uh, it just wasn’t really well written. These novels sucked, too. The big culmination of them was hey, you know these two women who are fighting each other (because the boys that own them want them to)? Well, instead they made another woman, and her card sucks. And then she got weird in the head and died and the whole story kind of farted out, like they’re hoping the story about them hiring the Pinkertons would.

This means that I started Magic when the story sucked, and all the story before that point sucked, and then the story promised it was launching off into brand new spaces that didn’t have to relate to those old story pieces and the Cabal and Kamahl and Jeska and Phage and Akroma and Ixidor and Gerard and Urza. We got Mirrodin, which was set on a world made by Karn, Urza’s silver golem, where we learned that Planeswalker sparks can be used to raise the dead and also the Mirran keep slaves and we’re meant to think of them as heroic and good people that aisde. Mirrodin also was an unprecedently unpleasant time for the tournament environment, with the bannings of Tinker in Extended and the subsequent bans of the Affinity deck pieces in Standard. It was known at the time as slaying the Dragon, showing that they had done something serious to try and solve the enormous problem presented to them, like they’d gotten rid of it by hiring the Pinkertons.

Scourge is notable for its impact on Magic long-term, though not how it seems to think it should. Its theme was biggest creatures ever, and didn’t have the biggest creatures in Magic’s history, and had this whole subtheme of mana value (‘converted mana cost’ we called it back then), but none of the cards using it were good. It did involve printing the Storm Mechanic, which history has shown is probably the most dangerous, overpowered mechanic in Magic’s history, a mistake overshadowed by hiring the Pinkertons.

Magic the Gathering is a truly unparalleled game, with non-stop expansions over the course of the past thirty years and non-stop mechanical and functional innovation. It is a game that could not exist without an empire to sustain it, and part of that empire is the huge community of fan media and fan work that Wizards couldn’t reasonably stop and you know they want to. If Wizards of the Coast disappeared tomorrow there would still be a new Magic set every month and some of them would even be good, and talking about that sort of energetic creativity is beautiful and I’d love to do that but wizards went and hired the Pinkertons.

During this time I went from investing in standard decks and extended decks to try and play tournament Magic, to focusing on the lower-tier competitive scene of FNM, to then the landscape of Magic Online until I wound up where I am, a player who loves this game and makes custom cards for it (a card a day for four years), but who has played the game itself maybe five times in the past year. I play vanilla creatures and sorceries with my niblings in mono-coloured goofball decks. I like Magic Online that lets me play the game for pennies and not buy actual product because Wizards of the Coast keep putting out product I don’t like, and sometimes defend that product breaking street date by hiring the Pinkertons.

In 2022, we saw Kamigawa, Neon Dynasty (which I loved!), then Streets of New Capenna, and then eight more set releases that I have actively disliked because of their focus on the history of Magic and the need for it to drive at the history of Magic: The Gathering, the tragedy of losing Mirrodin (a shit plane that sucks whose population can all burn for all I care) and Dominaria (a shit plane that sucks whose population can all burn for all I care) in March of the Machines and Aftermath (which was the set that resulted in Wizards hiring the Pinkertons).

I have played this game for 20 years and during that time, it feels the overwhelming memory of it is that maybe the next set of cards will be about a story that doesn’t actively focus on things I hate. And I mean hate in the low key unimportant things of a card game having a story I dislike, not like how I hate knowing that they hired the Pinkertons.

Look, I don’t begrudge any content creator their current situation of being stuck in a way next to an empire that is doing something that is 100% justifiable from their position and their priorities. Wizards of the Coast had no legal redress to do what they wanted to do to control their product, and a lot of people’s jobs and work product relied on that and that sucks for them, especially since the pool had been pissed in and there was no real way to un-piss in it. But even if you accept the idea that Wizards did need to do retrieval and extraction in some way, whatever system they used to do it is being done as a matter of communicating with a public and branding that experience as being how Wizards does things, and in this case, wizards hired the fucking Pinkertons.

This game’s great.

I’ve never felt nostalgic for it despite it being literally half my life.

Shame about all the capitalism surrounding it.

Don’t hire the Pinkertons.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#GamePile #Games #Magic:TheGathering

[double-knots-archive]

So update: my gram is doing waaaaay better. things are returning to a weird semblance of normal. nothing is normal, but its ...closer than it has been. I am managing to not just ... sleep or zone out for hours on end at the end of the day. I have cider’s ashes, and his stuff has been mostly cleaned up. I’ve been forcing my cat to spend time with me as a way of dealing with his absence. Its not really working, but i’ve gotten some cute cat pics ( cat tax )

now for tumblr,  I don’t know yet my plan 100%. but i do know:

Double-knots is gonna get a rework, and will probably move to a new thing. same url, but it’ll be fresh and new and new icon, graphics, etc 

Speed: I’m still gonna be slow as fuck because grad school, babysitting, & care giving are still things. just, ya know, less than it was. 

New blog? I am considering making a side blog to double-knots that’ll focus fully on my original characters from my original world :) 

Alice is still gonna be alice. She’s going to be the most active out of all of my blogs for now. Since ,,, all her shit is done, and everyone likes her xD 

Canon blogs: i haven’t decided what to do with my canon stuff yet, but im formulating ideas slowly. i am starting to think about shuffling around mains, as well as what blog is the main vs sides, etc etc etc 

Drafts: no idea what im gonna do with those yet. not important yet. meh

inbox: will probably get deleted. maybe not all of it, but meh. not important yet

icons: i am just gonna stop trying lmaooooooo i am just gonna get rid of the whole border idea. as much as i like it, tis too much work. the serotonin of using them =/= the sucky feeling of making them 

Other: uhhhh i still got discord if y’all want to talk / check in on me  lol