#i'll try again another day. today has been really frustrating for me so i don't wanna roll another boulder up the hill as it were

[mango-dolphin]

TO THE ANON WHO SENT ME AN ASK ABOUT TRANS MEURSAULT: I WROTE 20 PARAGRAPHS AND THEN TUMBLR ATE. MY POST. EVEN THOUGH IT TOLD ME THE DRAFT SAVED.

I AM IN HELL

[star-stilinski]

stiles with virgin reader? maybe she's like insecure or like is just scared he'll look at her differently 😩😩 everytime i watch the eichen house basement scene i literally die because he is so sweet and gentle and GHRHHSHEHDH

okay so i actually have that written from before i deleted my blog... would you guys want me to write another?! i'll repost the one i have but this concept is really super fun to me and i like writing it a lot so... maybe you guys would want to see more?? anyway here's the old one!

☆

yep, stiles is perfect. dominant, but just to guide you. observant and overly educated (he once spent an all nighter researching female pleasure and orgasms. he stayed a virgin for a long time after, but at least he knew!). he wants you to feel good.

i feel like he had a conversation with allison once when she was really frustrated with scott where she basically ranted about how he was great in bed, really, but he sometimes got too excited and forgot about her until later. or his wearwolfness made him a bit rough. stiles just kinda stood there, but he was determined to keep that from being his reviews when he finally got laid. it was very educational.

set right before season 4.

you're reading up on the spanish mafia on your bed while stiles types away on his computer with one hand and breaks to texts scott with the other. he seems to be especially stimulated today.

"i think my excuse will be that we're camping." he mumbles randomly, setting his phone down face-up to take a swig from your water bottle. you frown. he smiles. "when we go get derek."

"for your dad?" you set the library book on the floor and scoot up on your bed, sitting back against the pillows.

"yeah. he's all worried i'm isolating myself after... everything. so he'll like that anyway. hey, scott invited us to the lake later tonight, wanna go?" your boyfriend talks so quick you almost get dizzy. that subject change was so stiles though, and seeing him as himself after those worrying days of the possessed, zombie-eyed shell of a man he was makes your chest feel fuzzy.

but at the mention of swimming, you glance away from him. you hadn’t been feeling super awesome about your body lately. It’s just… stiles is amazing, really, but he never says much about your looks and you’re scared he’s not into that part of you. It’s not like you need to be constantly hit on, but knowing that he wanted you in every way would be… well, it would make you feel better than you do.

so you hesitate, at the thought of being in a swimsuit in front of everyone. “uh, i dunno, i have a lot of homework.”

he laughs and his eyebrows shoot up. "what? we got ahead on, like, everything. did you fall behind again?”

"okay, first off, we did not get ahead on everything. we did everything due this week. you’re just used to waiting until the night before to rush through. second of all, i’m not really feeling the lake right now.”

“why not?” he frowns, tilting his head at you. you roll your neck and sigh, wishing you hadn’t said anything. It was so annoying to try and explain it.

“i mean…” you shift uncomfortably on your bed. “i don’t know. i’m just feeling weird lately.”

stiles stands, grabbing a stray pen to fiddle with as he stretches his legs, pacing your bedroom floor. "yeah, that's what you say, don't you? that you’re feeling ‘weird’.”

"you're weird." you deflect, watching him pace. he likes it when you do that, you both realized one day a long time ago when his hair was buzzed and you had braces. a lot has changed since then, but he still liked to know that you’re listening when he has to move around.

"and yet here you sit, after inviting me over to listen to me ramble." he teases back, throwing you a look before turning to walk the other side of the floor. he scans the pictures and posters on your wall, back turned to you. "seems like my weird is good weird and yours is bad weird."

you're thankful he isn't watching as you flush a light pink color in the cheeks. it's the stupidest stuff getting you flustered recently. the other day he said 'atta girl' to you and you were still blushing ten minutes later. kira actually thought you were sick. 

you know why. Part of you just wants to ask him, but a larger part of you assumes that -even as his girlfriend- he’ll be grossed out if you asked to have sex. He’s just not into you like that.

stiles swivels around to look at you, frowning curiously. "you went quiet."

"oh, um," you shift on the bed and fiddle with the hem of your shirt. he watches you do so with a look on his face before stepping closer to the edge of the bed while you scramble to remember what you were talking about. "your weird is tolerable weird."

he smirks and scoffs but it's kind of a laugh, one that makes your stomach swoop pleasantly. "what makes yours bad weird?"

"it’s nothing, sti’.” you fiddle with one of your stuffed animals, growing antsy under his gaze. “just thoughts.”

you feel the bed dip beside you as stiles sits, feeling his shoulder brush with yours. there's plenty of room on the bed. you know he did it on purpose.

"i like to know your thoughts.”

"yeah, well, sometimes i prefer to keep them in my head." you huff, still not looking at him. “and anyway, they’re just-”

"weird?" he interrupts and you look up at him. he's smirking, brows up, eyes sparkly.

you frown at his cockiness. you were going to say weird, but still. you can hear him silently asking you to elaborate.

"you’re not allowed to get all pitying, okay?" you feel yourself about to spill anyway, so you might as well tell him. it would usually take a lot more encouragement for you to say anything, but it's stiles and he's using his stupid pretty eyes on you and you trust him with your life. “lately i just feel kinda… just like, um, not great, i guess? i’m just scared i’m not doing enough for you, or something’s wrong with me because you never say anything about my looks and i dont need you to, but if you’re unsatisfied i want to change that because i want you to be happy in every area to do with me.”

stiles is silent for a moment. you look up and catch him look away from you. he frowns and looks back, meeting your gaze head on.

"that's not weird.” he says, quietly, brows upturned. “you… wow, you’re dense.”

you laugh abruptly at the jab stiles pulled, embarrassed. "stiles! I’m not upset or anything, i just dont want you to not be into the way i look. which might be unrealistic, i guess. not everyone is going to be physically attracted to me. that's fine."

"you say that a lot." his tone drops to something more thoughtful. you give him a face and tilt your head.

"what? no i don't."

"yeah, you do. 'oh, well, lydia's the beauty out of all of us anyway.' 'malia, you should dance with kira to blend in. that would be casual and guys will find you two hot, anyway.' 'that isn't my color.' 'i'm breaking out.' 'i'm bloated.' 'i don't think anyone would want to see me in something that revealing.'"

you feel heat crawl up your neck as he quotes stuff you've said the past few weeks. you scramble to make him wrong. "stiles, literally all of those were different sentences."

"no, they were not." he shifts, like he's revving up to explain something. you press yourself against the pillows to create space between you two. he notices. "you keep saying you think you're ugly. just the other day, a girl you didn't even know came up to you and said you were pretty and when she walked away you said she was lying. i remember, you were convinced. thought it was just to be nice because you had let her cut you in line for drinks. it was at the movies."

you look away from him, narrowing your eyes. you're embarrassed right now, and he knows. why isn't he stopping? "she was lying, stiles. you're a guy, you can't see that stuff like girls do."

"i'm a guy, i'm not blind." he gets hotter in his voice. both in tone and in attractiveness, getting sterner. saying 'i'm right' without saying it. "are you blind? you're so pretty. like, objectively."

"stiles, can you drop this? I shouldn’t have said anything." you curl in on yourself, drawing your knees up to hide your body. you feel so exposed, like he tugged the part of you out that you don't really like to talk about.

stiles goes soft. like a flip being switched, he loses his fight and shifts to face you better, placing a hand on your knee. "hey, i'm sorry."

you desperately want to go back to when he was a safe distance away and pacing your room and teasing you. you hate it when you ruin the mood with your feelings. you hate how much you love it when he touches you, especially since he'd never want you the way that you want him.

"it's fine, i promise." you claw around your brain for something to change the subject, but you feel it short circuit as stiles' hand begins to hold your cheek. he lifts your chin to look at him. you feel your cheeks flame hot and your whole body warm at his touch. you stare at him as you feel your resolve practically melt away.

"do you think you're pretty?" he asks, curiously. like you're something he doesn't fully understand yet, but he's on his way and he's getting excited to speed up the process. it makes you nervous.

"umm... i don't know..." you don't think so. you're very confident that you're ugly. but telling stiles that is letting him win. and you don't know what you'll do with a cocky stiles when he's already ballsy enough to corner you like he is now.

"i do." he says with finality. stiles gets closer and his hand leaves your cheek, only to part your legs gently and crawl in between them. "i think you’re hot. and pretty. and when you focus you nibble your lip and it kinda makes me want to pin you to the nearest flat surface and eat you out.”

now your legs are on either side of stiles and he's leaning over you, eyes roaming over your face hungrily. you stutter dumbly for a moment, face flushed and feeling like a cornered bunny getting stared down by a wolf. his scent becomes stronger and you resist the urge to ask him to do just that, opting instead for feeling like a gross creep and fretting if you’ve shaved well enough.

"you don’t have to say that..." you trail off, still flustered at stiles' boldness. "i just didn't really know what you thought about my looks, i guess. b-but i guess that’s kinda conceited, huh?" you laugh weakly at your joke. stiles doesn't laugh at all. instead, he watches you quietly for a moment, a hand landing on your knee again.

"i don’t say anything because i never want you to feel uncomfortable." he states breathily. you squirm under him as he leans forward, a determined look in his eyes. “do you want me to tell you what i think about you?”

"stiles, c'mon." you turn your head away. maybe you can resist this question by acting pathetic. it's not really working, and stiles just gently guides your chin so that you're looking at him again. he knows the answer. he kinda has to, doesn't he? otherwise he wouldn't be doing this.

"I want to hear you say it." he looks into your eyes like it would actually literally kill him if you said no. you feel that rush you get when he talks like this, all quiet and deep like he's breathless. and despite you thinking that stiles thought of you as a low-physicality girlfriend, you find yourself nodding slightly.

"yes, i do."

stiles sighs out like you just healed every one of his wounds and leans forward, shifting himself so that he's propped on his hands and knees above you. one hand moves to your waist and the other holds his weight as he leans down.

the kiss sends a spark down your spine. as he goes back in again, kissing you harder, deeper, gently guiding your mouth open, you think it's better than any other kiss you've experienced. his hand inches your shirt up to reveal your stomach and he pulls back.

"you're beautiful. okay? i feel like you're not hearing me. i want you to see it." he says, still upset about that. you're still a bit flustered by the quick change of events, so you don’t respond.

he frowns at your lack of response but it softens as your hands slide onto his neck, pulling him down again. he smiles and goes back in for another kiss.

this one's even more than the last. stiles' tongue... well, it works. that's all you can describe as he makes you gasp in surprised pleasure from just a kiss. you can feel his slightly cocky smirk as he kisses again, but it gets lost when you rake your nails lightly against the back of his neck. he manuvers you both further down the bed so you're laying more comfotably and kisses you deeply again, like he can't get enough. 

he presses his knee up against your core as you kiss and it sends a pulse of pleasure up your body, making you pinch your brows. stiles pulls back abruptly, and you're both panting. you can see your spit making his lips glisten prettily and you want to hide under the covers and pull him back into you at the same time.

"hey," stiles dawns a little smile. it's sweet, and when he tugs at the hem of your shirt gently your heart flutters. "can i take this off?"

you pause at that. if he takes your shirt off, he'll have to see you shirtless. you didn't wear a nice bra today, just the grey t-shirt bra you got at walmart. but he wants to see you shirtless. and you want to see him shirtless.

then again, you’re no pornstar-level body. maybe stiles will be disappointed. or laugh. no, no, he won’t laugh. but if he doesn’t like it, he won’t say anything, and you’ll be stuck wondering what he’s thinking again...

"i can hear you overthinking, you know." stiles' big palm lands on your bare waist, his thumb rubbing your skin softly. "we can stop if you want."

you meet his eyes. he looks like he really means it, like he'll pretend none of this happened if you asked. his hand leaves your waist, cups your cheek, and his thumb presses against your bottom lip softly. you breathe in. "i don't want to stop."

he nods, smiling. it's crooked and you almost giggle because of course stiles is excited to keep making out. and then his gaze shifts and he takes his hand off your cheek to tug on your shirt again. his brows lift in question.

"uhm, yeah." you nibble your lip. fuck it. "take it off."

"that was not enthusiastic enough."

"i-?! don't blame me if you don't like what you see! i just don't want you to be unimpressed!" you squeak defensively. he laughs and pulls you up just enough to lift your shirt off.

"you can be so obtuse sometimes." he mumbles as he tosses your shirt out of the way. you're propped up on your forearms when he turns back around and you can practically hear the breaks in his brain screech to a halt.

his eyes roam your body in a way that makes you flush and his hands aren't much better, spreading over your now-exposed middle like they have a mind of their own. he lets out a breath and blinks a few times, one hand sliding up to cup your bra. “s’ this okay?”

you swallow and nod. it is. really. you like the way stiles’ hands feel on you and how his eyes track over you like he wants to devour you but doesn’t want to hurt you. you like how eager he is to touch you. it makes you feel like maybe he really wants to.

he leans over you and presses a kiss to your neck. you tilt your head back on instinct as he grows more persistent, pressing open mouthed kisses along your jaw and nibbling your neck to pull a sound out of you. you gasp when he nibbles your earlobe and he reacts positively, hands getting more confident as he cups your breasts or you waist or whatever he can get ahold of.

you feel him press his knee up against you again and it makes you jolt momentarily. your thoughts are getting hazier, you feel yourself relaxing every second you spend underneath him. his hand travels up your back and finds your bra clasp and he kisses down your collarbone as he undoes it.

“you’re so pretty.” he starts, pulling back. you blink up at him as he sits over you. “you are, I don’t care what you think. I can’t believe you’re so convinced otherwise.”

he pauses, giving you time to reject him or tell him to stop or do anything. instead, you tug at his shirt, pulling it up.

he takes it off immediately and you press your hands against his bare skin. “stiles, i’ve never done anything before. I’m not gonna be good.”

he scoffs and shakes his head, toying with your loose bra strap. it’s still on, unclasped. he’s waiting.

“you’re doing so good right now, idiot.” he hums affectionately as he traces the seam of your bra, fingers brushing your breast. you suck in a breath. he watches your chest rise. “i’ve, um, thought about this before. a lot. and it’s ten times better having you under me than daydreaming about it.”

you blush at that. he traces the underside of your breast, fingers slipping under your bra to feel your skin. “I want to make you feel good.” he whispers, meeting your eyes. you nod slowly, fingers running along his abdomen as you admire him.

“you do?” you ask, as if he wasn’t practically pinning you to the bed already. he nods eagerly and it spurs you on. you shift, slowly pulling your bra off. he helps you and tosses it away with your shirt, but his eyes never leave you. instead, they dart all over your chest, hands cupping your tits. he sighs and his thumbs swipe over your pebbling nipples, making you squeak in shock.

“you’re so beautiful. ‘m gonna make you believe it, okay?” he says with finality, maneuvering so that he can kiss your breasts. you gasp when his tongue flicks over your nipple and he pulls up just to envelop your mouth. “you sound so pretty. just relax, I’ll take care of you.”

you’re embarrassed at how easy it is for you to make noise and how eager you are to listen to his instructions. you sink into the pillows and let your eyes flutter shut as stiles kisses you. it's soft and slow, but it makes you a puddle anyway.

stiles gets the both of you down to your underwear shortly after. his hands are incessantly gentle and when he does something new he leaves a sort of gap for you to tell him to stop.

you never do.

he's mouthing at your neck when he first presses his long fingers against your clothed clit, and you sigh lightly in relief. the pressure was more than enough and you had completely soaked through your panties anyway. he pulls away from your neck to watch you as he rubs a slow circle against your nerves, humming in approval when your lips part and your brows pinch.

"does that feel good?" he questions quietly, still rolling a circle against you with his middle finger. you nod and hear him swallow as his eyes roam from your exposed tits to your wet spot and everywhere in between, locking eyes with you at the end.

"i can't wait to hear you. you're gonna sound so good." he mumbles, mostly to himself as he slowly pulls your panties off. you whine in embarrassment and cover your face with your hand.

"don't say stuff like that!" you huff, scrubbing your face like it will make the blushing subside. "you're getting your hopes up."

"jesus christ." he groans, and it sounds super fucking hot. you peek through your fingers and see him looking at you like you've wounded him. "you've exceeded every single one of my very high hopes i've been getting off to since freshman year so far. you-i mean, look at what you're doing to me."

he gently takes the hand you're using to cover your face and guides it against his bulge. he's hard as a rock, and when you press your hand against him he tilts his head back and sighs out. "seriously, you're so gorgeous. and you're a great kisser. you're doing so good. i mean..."

with your panties off and him in between your legs, he has easy access as he slides two fingers through your slick. you can both hear it in the quiet of the room and you feel that heat rush of embarrassment again, eyes widening as he literally moans. "you're so wet. just for me."

and as he presses his finger to your clit, it feels ten times better than it did with your panties on. you gasp and your eyes flutter closed as you whimper "god," completely on accident. his hands aren't amazingly skillful, but the way he watches your reactions and tweaks his performance, fucking a finger into you and keeping his pace on your bundle of nerves-it's almost hotter than a guy who isn't looking to improve, because stiles is adjusting things to your preference. not just what every woman would generally like.

"how's it feel, pretty girl?" he hums against your stomach, kissing down your body. you don't know what the hell he's doing but most of your mental focus is on how stiles is making you feel, anyway.

"feels good, sti'," you gasp, feeling his mouth against your thigh. he moans when you say his name before sucking a hickey onto your inner thigh. your eyes snap open and you prop yourself up to look at him, eyes wide. "are you leaving a mark?"

stiles looks up at you, and then at your neck, and then your tits. he pulls away from your skin slowly and mumbles "uhm..."

"whatever, just... don't make it ugly. hickeys can look so weird." you flop back against the pillows and sigh, but your thoughts are cut short as stiles-

"oh, fuck," you moan, rolling your hips against stiles' tongue unconsciously as he presses his mouth on your clit. he flicks his tongue and you gasp out another moan, hips lifting.

his big hands land on your bare hips and press them back down, holding them there as he looks up at you. meanwhile, his tongue is laying claim on you in a way no one ever has, and he's making you feel better than you ever have. you sit up on your forearms to watch him and he sucks on your clit, making your eyes roll back. "stiles, oh god, that feels really good-"

he moans at your noises, mouth moving with more fervor against you, hands pulling you closer to him. he's doing everything perfectly, or so you thought, until he pulls a hand away from your hip and presses two fingers inside of you. it's a stretch, but it feels amazing, and your brain is fried as you feel yourself hurtling towards that edge-

and then he pulls back.

you look down at the speed of light, glaring at him on accident. "wha-? why-?"

his eyes are dark, something you haven't seen in them before. his mouth is covered in your arousal and he's sitting up, leaning over you. "i really want you to finish with me inside you. does... is that...?"

your previous annoyance falls away and you bob your head enthusiastically. "yeah. yes. please."

he grins and licks some of your slick off of his lips before kissing you sweetly. when he pulls back, you look down to take his boxers off but realize he took them off already. you also realize you've never seen stiles' dick before.

"your staring is making me nervous." he teases, rubbing your thigh. you blink and look back up at him, smiling sheepishly. he smiles back, and it's crooked, and he's tilting his head and panting and sometimes his eyes are wandering to your tits before snapping back up to your eyes. and.

"you're the hottest guy in the whole world, i think." you hum, reaching up to cup his cheek. his eyes go wide and he laughs, kissing your palm.

"is my dick that big?"

"not what i meant."

"it could be."

you laugh, biting the inside of your cheek. "'s it gonna hurt?"

his eyes go soft, a bit worried. "proabably for a second, but we'll go at your pace so you can stretch out properly, and if it's too much i can just finish the way i started, kay?"

you nod. stiles would never, ever hurt you. and with the way he's looking at you and how he moans when you feel good and how his hands always have to find a way to pleasure you... something in you switches and you realize he really wants you to like this. that he's being honest when he says he's thought about it a lot.

so as he quickly rolls on a condom (which included him admitting that he usually grabs one before he leaves to see you) and presses into you -slowly, slowly- you try your best to relax against the pillows. it's not unbearable, but you have to ask him to pause sometimes. he always does, and layers praises on top of each other while he does it.

"you're doing so well. just breathe, okay? just like that. holy shit, you feel amazing- b-but how do you feel? you alright?" he rambles halfway inside. you nod, breathing deeply.

"it actually feels... good..." you close your eyes and pull on his waist, urging him forward slowly. he bottoms our and gasps out a moan at the same time you do, feeling him reach the spot you're never able to. his hand snakes in between the two of you and presses against your clit. you gasp out his name, tilting your head back. it's almost too much.

almost.

as you urge him to move, he presses slow circles against your bundle of nerves and kisses any patch of your bare skin he can get ahold of.

"just relax, baby- fuck, god, you know how may times i've thought about this?" he pulls out slowly and pushes back in, and all of his stimulating mixed with his moans and his words... he's doing a good fucking job, that's for sure.

you moan when he moves a little quicker, gasping. he presses his tongue into your open mouth and kisses you sloppily, going a bit faster with every thrust. you whine when he flicks your clit almost crudely, pressing your head back against the mattress and gasping, "faster, sti'"

he obeys without further encouragement, snapping his hips a little quicker than comfortable. you feel your body adjust and watch stiles as he leans back to admire you.

his eyes rake over you, one hand cupping your breast and kneading it softly. he lets out a higher pitched moan than you've heard from him when he sees the point where your bodies connect, slowing his thrusts just to watch. "you're perfect, i swear to god."

you can't respond, not when he's already leaning down to overstimulate your nipples. your brain feels like it's in the other room and has been replaced with stiles' hands, almost solely focused on his kneading of your tits and his circling of your clit. his mouth makes its way back up your neck and he kisses you again, still with very little concern for the proprieties of it.

it's sudden, the feeling that crawls up on you as his hips snap quicker and praise falls from his mouth in between kisses. you gasp for air and tug his head back by pulling his hair, causing a loud moan from him that you'll have to unpack later. you're arching your back, whimpering "faster, faster," squeezing your eyes shut as you feel that sweet release low in your belly. he speeds up his hips, but more importantly his fingers on your clit. your vision goes white for a split second as you cry out, chanting his name like a prayer. you hear him moaning too, and it only helps you as he rides you through your orgasm.

"holy shit," you gasp as you come down. he nods, pulling out of you carefully, and you both lock eyes. you're smiling and he's kissing you and everything feels kind of perfect for a split second. then you remember him, and feel like an idiot. "oh, did you, i totally forgot, did you-"

"don't worry," he laughs sheepishly and glances away from you. "i did. it was, um, when you pulled me away from kissing you."

"when i pulled your hair?" you ask incredulously. he buries his face into your neck and groans.

"maybe we should focus on you again." he kisses up your neck and all over your face. "you did so good, you're so perfect and pretty and oh my god you thought i wasn't attracted to you. you're so out of it sometimes."

"stop insulting me! you never said anything!" you defend, slapping his shoulder. he laughs and cups your face.

"i'm going to say every thought i have now. okay?"

"i feel like this isn't going to end well..."

he grins mischievously. "you look so good when you're cumming. let me make you make that face again?"

you close your eyes and sigh. "yeah, i knew it. this is going to be the death of me."

he laughs, loudly, excitedly, and kisses you. "it's funny how you think death will help. i bet you'd be a sexy ghost. oh, fuck, now i'm thinking about that. yep, it's hot."

you shout and push him off of you, laughing.

☆

when i wrote this originally, i wasn't super happy with it. even now i'm like... ehhh.... i dunno.... so if you guys want more of stiles with virgin/inexperienced reader, i have a lot of ideas and would totally post some if given the 'okay' from my fellow stiles lovers! let me know!!

(please say you want more because i want to make more lowkey tho just lowkey like idec but please)

[lalalabelle]

"Everything i ever did, i did for you.."

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Warnings: just a lot of angst and some swearing

Summary: Yelling at Megumi about his stubbornness that reminds him of you.

Masterlist----check out the other stuff

"Why can't you just trust me?" Gojo chuckled to hide his frustration from Megumi while training at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. He didn't like having this conversation over and over again every time he went to train him and his other students.

"You can't just put someone in danger especially if it's your student!" Megumi was baffled at how unfazed his mentor was at the thought of another student risking his life to save his friend, to save him.

In truth, Gojo didn't like the thought of someone risking their life too but some things must be done in order to protect his loved ones and the son that he's adopted. He saw how willing Yuji was to fight for his friends and he just needed a little more increase in strength and power, that's why they have been training nonstop for the past few days and Megumi did not like that.

"Why can't we just be a team? Why can't i help him? We are supposed to stick together, doesn't that mean-" Gojo was pissed off now, he doesn't know how many times Megumi has argued with him about this and usually he would be calm about and try to reason with him but today wasn't a good day.

"In a real battle, you would not be there to protect him." Gojo glanced at Yuji and then back at Megumi. He did not understand why his student felt the need to question what he was doing when he has explained countless times that this was for the better.

"WHY NOT?!" Megumi was in disbelief when his teacher could only resonate that he would be out of the fight and that his friend was just going to fight for him. Gojo was shocked at his student's change in tone as he looked at him disapprovingly. "I WILL FIGHT. I'LL BE THERE-"

"Megumi..you don't know that." There was a lot of things he wanted to say, how his mind wasn't thinking clearly, how unpredictable the future is, how undefined the battles and wars are going to be, how even he doesn't know if everyone is going to live another day.

"YES. I. DO." Megumi was being stubborn, willing to do whatever it takes to convince his mentor that this wasn't what was best for him or what he wants. "If Yuji is going to fight, then we're going to fight together. All three of us"

Gojo looked away and closed his eyes, composing himself before saying something he might regret later. "You shouldn't even be near a fight! You are too important." He tried reasoning but he knew that it was hopeless, it was really hard to be on the sidelines and watching others fight for you when you are fully capable of doing it yourself.

"IM NOT!" Megumi yelled

"YES. YES YOU ARE" Gojo is getting impatient

"NO!" Snap!

Something broke inside Gojo as he felt tears on his eyes, threatening to fall.

He grabbed his blindfold and harsly ripped it out of his eyes and his tears were fully visible, looking at Megumi with desperation and sadness. "FUCK! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU (Y/N)!" He yelled at Megumi then his eyes widened, he can't believe what he just said. He dropped his blindfold to the floor and walked away. "Enough about this. I'm done talking about it."

Megumi felt bad about the whole thing and went to comfort him under the large tree in their training grounds. "Gojo-sensei.."

"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have yelled at you today. It's just you look so much like her and it's funny 'cause you're not even related" He laughed bitterly and wiped his eyes looking at sky.

"She actually gave me something, it's like a hologram of our shared times together.." Megumi saw Gojo click something and then a hologram of you showed up infront of them, standing and smiling. Gojo kneeled to you like you were the most precious thing on this planet.

"Satoru.." The hologram of you spoke, frowning as you said his name. "Yes, love?" He replied back, eagerly looking at you like he had lost you for years.

"I want to be a sorcerer and protect people on this planet...you don't have to do this with me.." The hologram continued and looked at him sadly. "But i want to!" "I know you do.."

The hologram knelt down to his level and placed a hand on top of his. "Please understand..there's a possibility that we could die but even if we don't, we can never go back to our old lives again..."

Gojo shook his head as if saying that he does not care about those things if he can get to be with you. "Why would i want to go back to my old life, if you're here?" He tilts his head to the side and gives the hologram a grin that slowly turns into a sad smile.

You chuckled at his cute antics and cupped his cheek, looking at him fondly. "My satoru.."

"You're perfect..I-" When he went to touch your hand that was cupping his cheek, the hologram suddenly malfunctioned. Gojo looked down and sighed.

He sat back against the tree, looked at Megumi thrn back at the distance. "Everything i did, i did for her, and now she is in shoko's office passed out because i accidentally hurt her"

Megumi stayed silent and just listened to everything his teacher was saying.

"I guess since you were so much like her that i wanted someone to protect you too.."

[busycloudy]

hii if that's okay can I take a coffee mixed with tea with a muffin and a dragon? Thank you so much in advance!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

A Comforting Dragon

Coffee + Tea(Comfort) Muffin(They walk in to see you crying) Dragon Lollipop(Malleus Draconia)

A/N: Hello Lilian! Sorry if this is ooc, I haven't really wrote for Malleus yet! I do hope you still enjoy this!

You slammed your room door in Ramshackle shut. The dorm shook. You hopped onto your bed and laid there, just staring at the ceiling.

Today was a frustrating day. You were on your last straw, but even that had been taken from you.

You had the worst headache ever after taking care of the first years and making sure Grim didn't burn anything. Grim had nearly burned your whole dorm down a few minutes ago actually. Then Crowley had sent you to do some things, and now you have to study and do some homework.

You did not have the energy to do that right now. All you wanted to do was relax for once. But then again, everything was due tomorrow. "Better do it now then...." You mumbled, grabbing the papers.

You took a seat back in your bed, looking at a sheet of paper. Your frowned. You read it again. "What?" You read it another time. This made no sense. No matter how many times you read it, it didn't make any sense. "Ugh, I'll just move on to the next paper" You muttered.

You moved on to the next paper. Still, it made absolutely no sense. You moved on to the next one, and next thing you know you're back at the first paper after looking through all of the papers. Nothing made sense right now.

All you wanted to do was cry with how frustrated you were now. Nothing made sense, but they were due tomorrow. What the hell were you supposed to do? All this frustration was starting to get to you.

You started to think about everything that has happened to you every since you came here. One thought only lead more. You couldn't stop thinking.

A salty tear rolled down your cheek. One tear turned into more. Your thoughts started consuming your head.

Time started passing. Maybe minutes later you heard your door open. You looked up, wiping your tears. "Oh.. hey Tsunotarou..." You sniffles. Malleus then had a bit of a frown, and you could hear lighting strike.

Malleus then walked over to you, sitting beside you on your bed. "My love, what happened?" He said, a worried look on his face.

You just sniffled. "Nothing... " You muttered. "Do know you can speak freely with me" Malleus reassured you. " You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but now I'll always comfort you and be by your side" He sympathetically smiled.

You gave in. Telling him your frustration about all the work, and how thoughts started going through your mind. How ever since you had arrived here it had felt like hell. Sure, there were good moments! But those bad moments made everything shit.

Malleus comforted you while you said this. Staying quiet, and letting you talk. He rubbed your back to try and calm you.

You finished talking, then looking at him. "I.. I'm sorry. I'm probably just overreacting..." You wiped your tears. "Dearest, your not overreacting. I'm glad you decided to tell me this. I'll help you if needed" Malleus answered. You shook your head "Please do" You sniffled. "Anything for you, my treasure"

Malleus would help you live in this world. He'd help you every step of the way. No matter the cost. As long as you're happy.

[kaliforniahigh]

Be my baby, I'll look after you.

Noah x reader with needle phobia.

TW: mentions of hospitals, needles, blood and medications.

WC: 1.2k

Noah cradled you in his arms as you cried on his bed. The room was pitch dark and the curtains were drawn. Your migraine has been giving you a hard time ever since the beginning of the week. With today being Wednesday, you couldn't take it anymore and finally broke down.

Your medicine wasn't helping and neither was the cold cap that Noah kept in the refrigerator for you, to be used in moments like this. You were frustrated because nothing seems to be working for you.

Granted, your crying wasn't helping either, but you couldn't care less at this point. Your head already felt like it was going to explode.

"Sweetheart, you haven't eaten anything all day, maybe you're hungry and it's making your headache worse?" Noah tried to reason with you, even though he knew when you were like this, chances are you're going to throw up anything you tried to eat.

"I don't want to eat, I'm afraid I'm going to throw up" you told him in a small voice.

"Oh baby, but maybe that could make you feel better?" you shook your head, not understanding how throwing up could possibly make you feel better.

He laid there with you in his arms, feeling his heart break every time a sob racked through you and every time you cradled your head to try and make the pain go away. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Baby, we're gonna have to go to the hospital" as soon as he said these words, your grip on him tightened and you shook your head vigorously. He already knew this was going to be another battle completely.

"I don't want to go there, you remember what happened last time, I don't want that to happen again". And of course he remembered, how could he forget?

You went to have your medication administered. Noah asked you if you wanted him to go with you, but you refused, you actually thought you could do this yourself.

10 minutes later, a nurse went to get him in the waiting room and he found you sitting on a recliner, tears streaming down your face, your arms already purple from the prodding. He really had to control himself so as not to give the nurses a dirty look. He knew that most likely it wasn't their fault.

He crouched down next to you. "What happened, sweetheart?"

"They poked me 4 times with the needle! And every single time my vein blew and there was blood all over my arms" you cried out, trying to dry your tears with your hands, but they were flowing rapidly. "I want to go home, I don't wanna be here anymore. Please take me home".

And honestly, how could he deny you? He just wanted to get you in his car, take you home, give you a shower and then cuddle you until you felt better.

"Do you feel ok to stand up?" he asked you and you nodded. "Ok then, baby. Let's get you home".

He helped you get up from the recliner and you instantly clung to his side.

"Sir, her medication has not been administered. By taking her home, she'll be refusing treatment."

"That is ok, ma'am. I'll be taking care of her at home"

After that day, he knew you took several steps back in your journey to try and overcome your fear of needles. But, unfortunately, at some point, you would have to go back to the hospital, and he really couldn't see you suffer like this anymore.

"How about this, I take you to the hospital and I don't let you out of my sight, and if something you don't like happens, I'll take you home immediately".

You thought about his words, and you knew he meant them. You also couldn't bear the pain in your head anymore. And you knew if you just laid there it was never going to go away.

"Ok, you can take me, but it has to be a different hospital this time" you looked at him, but he was already getting up from the bed.

"That's a deal. I'll help you put on some comfy clothes and then I'll drive us".

The ride to the hospital was mostly quiet. You worn a sleep mask so the light wouldn't bother your eyes so much.

Part of you hoped the doctor would just give you some oral medication, but you already knew that wasn't happening. Noah answered some questions on your behalf, and you even heard him explaining about your needle phobia, but you couldn't understand much due to your foggy mental state.

He prescribed you an IV and the nurse led you and Noah to a treatment room. As you laid down on the hospital bed and saw the nurse preparing the medication along with the needle that was about to pierce your skin, you paled and began to hyperventilate. You looked at Noah as if to say "please help me, I don't think I can do this".

Noah, who always paid close attention to your reactions, noticed immediately that you would soon have a panic attack, and he had to do something about it before it got worse.

He called out for the nurse, who turned around and looked at both of you with kind eyes. "The doctor mentioned that intranasal sedation could be an option for her since she has needle phobia. I was wondering if we could try that before you try to put in the IV?"

"Yes, of course. Is that something you would be interested in, honey?" She asked, turning to you. Sensing your apprehension, she explained to you that intranasal sedation involved spraying in your nose a small dose of sedative, that would make you relax and just a tiny bit groggy. But, would also make the situation less traumatic and painful for you.

You looked at Noah, trying to gauge his opinion, but he just nodded, communicating with you that this could be a good option.

As the sedative did it's job, your head instantly felt lighter, your hands unclenched and your body relaxed. You heard Noah say something along the lines of "you're doing so well and I'm so proud of you", but you just concentrated on the feeling of walking on cloud nine. You really couldn't remember the last time you were so at ease inside a hospital.

When you turned your head to the side, Noah was looking at you with so much adoration you felt at a loss for words. He was slowly stroking your hair and slightly massaging your scalp. The stress and exhaustion from the week finally caught up to you and you drifted into a peaceful slumber.

Meanwhile, Noah felt at ease watching you being at ease. Witnesseing you struggling and crying every time he had to take you to the hospital absolutely broke his heart. He hated watching the love of his life suffer and he ultimately felt helpless.

He was glad that today he could help you somehow. And he knew he would do it every time, he would protect and defend you every time if it meant making life easier for you.

[bingbongsupremacy]

Happy Anniversary

Pairing: Ellie Williams x Reader

Warnings: Creep, pet names, use of y/n

Summary: An anger filled fight doesn't stop Ellie from Standing up for you.

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

*****

" -god, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm fucking sorry, okay? I completely forgot about our date. It's been a long week. " Ellie groans, running a hand through her messy hair.

" Our date? " I narrow my eyes in disbelief. " It's our anniversary, you absolute ass. I've been reminding you about it for the past fucking five days. I planned everything, Ellie. All you had to do was fucking show up and you couldn't even do that. "

Ellie's jaw clenches in frustration. Her eyes darken. Annoyance seeps through her tone. " It's one fucking day. I get it, we've been dating for an entire year, whoopie. " Ellie mocks. " We don't need to plan something on a stupid fucking day to remind ourselves how long we've been together. "

Sadness fills my already rage filled heart. Did she really not give a shit? " That's not the point, Ellie. I barely see you anymore. You're always on patrol...I just wanted to spend time with you. And-and you can't even spare an hour for me anymore! "

Ellie's eyes narrow. She stands up, finally meeting my gaze. " Don't even. You spend all your time in that stupid bakery. Doing what? Baking fucking cakes. At least I'm trying to protect us-keep the fucking bad shit outside so you can keep on baking pastries. I'm on patrol for us. "

Rage seeps out of Ellie's every pore. Her face is lit up from the fire place, casting a dark shadow across her tired features.

My heart shatters. Stupid pastries? Does she think that little of my job? " I don't need you to protect me. I can take care of myself. " I spit. " I've survived without you for years, Ellie. I can do it again. I don't need you. "

For a moment Ellie's angry expression seems to break. Sadness flashes through her eyes, leaving just as fast as it came. Could it be the lighting?

" You don't need me? Fucking fine. " Ellie snatches her worn coat from the floor. " I'll see you around. " Ellie snaps towards the door.

Regret floods my body. " Ellie-Wait! I didn't mean it. " I chase after her. " Ellie! "

Ellie doesn't respond. Instead she slams my front door, stopping me from continuing after her. The loud sound bounces off my dark walls, mocking my hurting heart.

All I wanted was to spend time with her.

---------

Ellie doesn't need me either.

For weeks I've thought back the our argument, where everything went wrong. I doubt Ellie has. She's spent the last 3 weeks partying with Cat.

It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the quietness filling my house. I spend most of my nights alone, only having another person there when Ellie sneaks in after patrol. This time, the silence is haunting.

Ellie's still pissed. She hasn't bothered to pick up anything of hers. Whenever we're in the same area, she finds a way to get out of there fast.

Honestly, I'm still pissed at her. The one time in 2 weeks I ask for her to make time for me, and she still can't find the fucking find a way to.

I make my way out of the bar, flinching at the freezing temperature outside. The streets are quiet. Only the flickering lights from nearby street lights break the darkness. Everyone's home.

I make my way down the street, taking my time look at the night sky.

A shiver runs down my spine when the sound of crunching snow fills my ears. Not from my shoes. From someone else.

" H-hey, baby. Where're you heading off to all alone? " A slurred voice asks.

I turn the face the owner. It's one of the newer people Tommy brought in today. " That's none of your business. "

I shove my freezing hands into my pockets.

The mans' eyes narrow. His grinning expression fading into a more frustrated one. " That's no way to talk to your new neighbor, sweet cheeks. Especially when he's being so nice to you. "

Disgust and fear fill my stomach. This guy can't be serious.

The tart smell of booze oozes off of his clothes. He certainly didn't wait long to find the bar.

" Why don't you leave me alone, neighbor. " I try to stand up straight, make myself look intimidating. Inside, my heart pounds quickly.

The man steps closer to me, causing me to take a step back. My heels makes contact with the snow covered curb. My body falls backwards, my arms stretching back to catch my fall.

A stinging pain fills my left hand. The white snow underneath quickly turns a cherry shade of red. The icy dust enrages my cut hand, making the injury hurt so much more.

" You just saved me a whole lotta time, baby. " The man chuckles, stepping towards me, grabbing ahold of the back of my head.

" Hey you, ugly motherfucker, back the fuck off. " Ellie's familiar voice cuts through the bitter air. She steps out of the shadows from behind the man, carrying a blade in hand. " Now. "

The man chuckles. " What? Is this your little bitch? Shoulda known, they look like a- " The man doesn't have time to finish his sentence.

Ellie lunges at the man, taking him off guard as she loops behind him, holding the shiny blade to his neck. " Unless you have a death wish, I suggest you shut the fuck up. "

His hand lets go of my head, obviously surprised by the sudden movement. The mans eyes widen in confusion and shock. " Hey- "

Ellie presses the blade in the mans throat. Not hard enough to kill him, but hard enough to draw a few beads of blood.

" Please! " The man begs, obviously not expecting this outcome.

Ellie pushes the man away. " Get the fuck out of here, you fucking coward. "

The man scrambles away from us. He hurries back in the direction of the bar, clutching his veiny neck with his large hand.

" Thank you. " I let out a breath of relief. " I had no idea- "

Ellie turns her eyes towards me once she's sure the man has gone away. " What the hell are you doing out here this late? Are you fucking crazy? What the fuck is wrong with you! " Ellie steps towards me. " You could've been hurt! God, do you even think? "

As much as want to fight back, I know she's right. I should've left with Jesse and Dina. So many new people have been brought into Jackson, too many to meet them all. There's bound to be some shady characters in the mix.

" I didn't think anything would happen. " Tears sting the back of my eyes. I tear my gaze away, not wanting Ellie to see me weak.

Ellie scoffs. " You're not a fucking ghost, y/n. People can see you walking out here alone and the fucked up ones will want to hurt you. "

" I know. " I whisper, trying to cover up the shaky sound of my voice.

Ellie's eyes soften. " Y/N..." She sighs. " I didn't mean-Is that blood? " Ellie rushes towards me, snatching my hand from the ground. " Oh my god, why didn't you say anything? "

I try to pull my hand away. " It's just a scrape. "

" Your hand looks like a fucking Saw movie - " Ellie holds my wrist tightly, not allowing me to break away.

" Ellie! What the fuck. " My stomach churns at the sight of my hand. I didn't realize it was bleeding this bad.

Ellie puts her other hand on the side of my waist. " Come on, we need to get this fixed before you get an infection. Who knows what that fucker was carrying and if it spreads. "

I stand up and I'm quickly ushered towards Ellie's garage. " You're not funny. "

" I'm not trying to be. Did you see the crust on his eyes? I don't think that's natural. Not to mention his dirty fingers. " Ellie mutters.

We walk the rest of the way in silence, Ellie not moving her hand from my waist.

Light cuts through the darkness of Ellie's garage as she flicks on the switch. A pile of clothes sits in the corner next to her bed, obviously dirty from patrol. Various things liter the floor, just the way it was before I met her.

" It's a bit of a mess...I wasn't expecting company. " Ellie rubs the back of her neck, obviously a little embarrassed by the sight of her room. " I've been pretty busy. "

I roll my eyes. " With Cat, I know. "

Ellie's eyes widen. " What? Cat? "

" I know you've been hanging out with her. " I don't meet her gaze. I don't care if she hangs out with Cat. It's just the fact she didn't tell me about it. I guess we were on a break...She didn't need to tell me anything.

Ellie grabs a small bag from on top of her desk. She gently pushes me onto the bed before pulling open the bag. " It's not like that...We didn't do anything. " She dabs the cut with a little towel.

" Yeah, for sure. Look Ellie, I don't give a shit who you fuck. " I say through clenched teeth. Obviously I'm lying. " Just don't pretend you having been with someone else. "

Ellie's eyes meet mine, confusion filling her expression. " Y/N, it's not like that. Cat and I...we aren't anything. I met with her 2 times to talk to her about...fuck about how to make everything up to you. I didn't fuck Cat. I would never do that to you. "

My eyes widen. " What? "

Ellie continues to bandage my hand. " I told Cat what happened. She thought it was pretty shitty of me to stand you up on our anniversary. " Ellie sighs and lets go of my hand. " Look, I've never done this before. I've never been in a relationship this long. I-I'm fucking terrified. What am I supposed to do? " Ellie admits.

I've never seen her this...vulnerable before. She tends to keep things bottled up, something I've tried to get her to stop doing for her own sake, but it's never worked.

" I don't want to ruin you, y/n. I've ruined everything else in my fucking life. No one I love ever fucking gets a happy ending. I mean, look at Joel and Riley...I don't want you to end up like them. " Ellie's voice cracks.

" Ellie...I had no ideas..." I put my hand on her arm.

" How would you? I've been ignoring you for months. I just...I didn't want something to happen to you. I know that's a shitty excuse, but it's true. You mean so fucking much to me, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you. " I scan Ellie's face for any signs of dishonesty. She's sincere.

" Nothing is going to happen to me. Ellie, you can't do this to yourself, blame yourself for everything that happened. You had no idea what was going on. You have to stop torturing yourself with this. You aren't going to be able to live a full life if you're living in fear. " I try to reason with the woman.

Ellie swallows. " I just don't want you to get hurt. "

" Ellie, if something were to happen to me, I know you'd be right there to help me. I mean, look at what happened a little while ago. I'm going to be okay. Just please...don't ignore me. I want to be here for you. I want to spend time with you. " I pull the girl towards me. " I love you, Ellie Williams. I fucking love you so much. "

I feel Ellie tense at the words. We've never said I love you before.

Ellie shifts so her face is next to mine. Her hot breath fans over my cold lips. " I love you too. " She whispers.

I kiss her, pulling her body towards me. " You owe me a date. " I pant once we pull away.

" I owe you a lot of things. " Ellie sets her head on the crook of my shoulder. " I'll start with another kiss. "

[kai-anderson-whore]

Could you do a fluff imagine where Evan is starting to film Dahmer and his mental health isn’t the best and y/n is helping cheer him by visiting him on set, being there for him at home, etc?

Yes so this is kinda short I wanted to write longer I now have work so I apologise I couldn’t write more like I originally intended to do.

You need a break (Evan peters x Reader)

Summary: Evan’s mental health had took a toll since filming dahmer so you decided to cheer him up

Warnings: fluff, mentions of mental health, filming the dahmer series, mentions of Jeffrey dahmer

Word count, 1.2k

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•.

The cold wind clouded around you as you made your way through the busy streets of lox angeles county. Two cups of coffee secured in a cardboard cup holder in hand. You set out to visit your boyfriend Evan peters on set hoping to cheer him up and make his day somewhat better.

You knew that some of his newer roles took a toll on his mental health after playing Kai Anderson in American horror story, but with his newest role of the infamous serial killer Jeffrey dahmer he was spiralling into the darkness once again. You couldn't blame him when he has a role he researches the role non-stop and detaches himself from his co-workers to get into the character.

It was unhealthy but it was his strategy for this role. You just wished he picked something more healthier for his own mentality. You walked on to the set luckily they were on a break, you searched for Evan but you bumped into Niecy Nash, "hey y/n you looking for Evan" she asked giving you a polite smile. "Hey yeah have you seen him I can't find him" you replied the cups of coffee slowly getting colder in your hand.

"Have you tried his dressing room?" She suggested pointing to the end room you thanked her wishing her luck on set before heading to the dressing room labelled peters, you knocked on the door incase he was busy. "Come in" you heard his voice through the door with your free hand you let yourself in seeing Evan on a chair scrolling through his phone doing more research on his role so he wouldn't miss a thing.

"Hey babe" you smiled placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Hey thank you" he smiles as you handed him the Starbucks cup. "So how was it today?" You asked striking up a conversation. "A bit stressful trying to portray the role but got there in the end just doing more research so I get it just right" he sighs clearly in another world right now.

"Maybe take this as a breather to be Evan for a moment instead of focusing on being dahmer for a while". Evan nodded his head at your words but you knew he wouldn't take your advice. "I can't what if I can't get back into the character or mess up the scenes I can't risk it" he protested you let out a soft sigh taking a sip of your bitter caffeinated drink.

"I'm just looking out for you Evan I mean look what happened before and this is a more serious and sinister role, I don't want you to spiral again." Your voice was low almost a whisper. Evan knew that you were looking out for him, he knew it wasn't fair on his own health and for you too but it was his job.

"I know you're just looking out for me and I'm appreciative of that don't think I'm not I am, it's just it's not fair on you having to worry about me" he said running his hand down his face in frustration. "What kind of girlfriend would I be if I wasn't" you teased to lighten the mood a little which kind of worked since he let out a small smile.

"Ryan says we get a break for a few days next week you know for a breather" Evan informed you let out a smile nodding your head. "Well tell you what we'll stay home I'll for a few days off of work and we can just stay at home and relax how does that sound?" You offered since Evan started filming the series you barely had time for yourselves at all. You've been busy with work and Evan with the show only time you both really saw a glimpse of each other was going to bed and waking up in the mornings.

"Sounds great" he smiled at you placing a kiss on your lips. "Right I better get going I was only on an hour break but I'll ask my boss for that little break next week and I'm all yours" you said before placing another gentle goodbye kiss on your boyfriends lips. "I love you" you heard him say behind you. Turning your head facing him once again "I love you too Evan" you smiled leaving him in the dressing room.

———

The next week came long you were in the kitchen doing some laundry folding the clean clothes up and throwing the dirty ones in the washing machine. Waiting on Evan finishing filming the final scene before his few days off. You wanted the place to comfortable for him so he can take this time to relax.

You spent the day making sure everything was perfect for him. Buying all his favourite snacks and treats for him coming home, you had planned on spending the evening in bed watching movies and stuffing your faces with food. Once you were finished with all the laundry you had some time to space you decided to order some take out from Evan’s favourite place while you waited for him to come home.

About twenty minutes later Evan walked into the door feeling exhausted. Tossing his keys into the little trinket dish you laid by the door sluggishly walking into the living room running a hand over his face. “Hey babe” he smiled lightly seeing you sat on the sofa with some tea. “Hey how you feeling?” You asked noticing his tired expression. “Alright just want to relax with you for the next few days” he sighs plopping down on the sofa resting his head on your lap.

Your fingers played with his hair, his eyes closed feeling more relaxed leaning into your touch. “I went out and bought your favourite snacks and I got takeout from your favourite place, I was thinking we could watch a movie and just have a very chill night” you said now holding his face in your hand’s running your thumb along his cheek bones. Evan smiled nodding his head at you. “Sound amazing babe”.

And if so it was clockwork the doorbell sung it’s little tune. You and Evan got up to answer. “Evan you sit I’ll get it” you instructed he complied sitting himself back on the sofa. You went to the door thanking the delivery driver and tipping him extra closing the door. “Dinner is served” you said setting the food on the coffee table.

After dinner you and Evan went into bed with all your snacks putting a movie on. You both cuddled up stuffing your faces with popcorn. It was relaxing and you noticed it lifted Evan’s mood his mind wasn’t thinking about work anymore. “Thank you I really needed this” Evan smiled looking down at you.

“No need to thank me Evan, I’m just glad your taking a break you deserve it” you replied meeting his gaze pressing your lips on his momentarily. you focused on the movie for another ten minutes till you heard light snoring you turned your head seeing Evan out cold his arm still over your shoulder. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself gently getting out his grasp to put all the snacks away and turn the tv off. You climbed back into bed cuddling Evan drifting into peaceful slumber.

[dorotontheglow]

Structure for Improvement

Having tried different systems over the years, I have realized that I improve the best in a structure. Having a routine, knowing what I need to do and when I need to do it helps me a lot. However, with improvement knowing isn't enough unfortunately, it is the first step. What's important is taking action. And today, I wanna share some of my routines that I'll be following for improvement!

MY WORKOUT ROUTINE

I love the body weight lifting gives people so that's what I have been doing for quite sometime now but the problem is that I don't really have a routine for it. Some weeks I lift weights for five days and some weeks it's two days. I have seen results, nevertheless, but it is something I wanna do constantly as I have bigger body goals aesthetically. So here's the routine I'll follow:

Monday : Arm workout (Weight lifting)

Tuesday : Arm + leg workout (Weight lifting)

Wednesday : Ab workout (Weight lifting)

Thursday : Rest due to school

Friday : Rest due to school

Saturday : Leg + ab workout (Cardio)

Sunday : Full body (Weight lifting)

Plus, walking or biking once the weather gets a little better<3

MY LEARNING ROUTINE

This is, perhaps, what I struggle with the most. Years in the education system ended up making me burnout. I couldn't learn anything for the sake of learning it. I always had to learn something that would be useful for my studies in school. However, this has to change. I have so many things that I'm interested in and so many things I want to learn that it would be unfair to myself to not create a learning routine. (Not a studying routine, but a learning routine! Completely different in my eyes.)

Every week, I will choose a topic to do research about. I will read books and articles. I will watch videos, interviews, documentaries etc. I will try to learn as much as possible about the topic that I am interested. And then write an essay (2000 -2500 words) about it at the end of the week.

Another learning goal is learning a language. I have been trying to learn Korean and Spanish back to back which I couldn't for years! So frustrating. But for the past few months I have been learning Spanish and it's going really well. Learning a new language is really important to me because I am a language student and it's an essential personality trait of mine. So it hurts me when I get lazy or unmotivated about it. I haven't decided on my routine yet but it will probably look something like this:

Monday : Learn 10 new words + a grammar topic

Tuesday : Learn 10 new words + watch a Ted Talk in Spanish

Still a work in progress!

MY SELF-CARE ROUTINE

I think every one of these routines are under the umbrella of self-care but for the sake of giving a name to this category, I'm going to call it the Self-Care Routine.

This routine includes:

My at-home laser hair removal routine and

My skincare routine

I am starting at-home laser hair removal treatments, again... I have realized that I had spots on my legs that don't really grow hair from previous treatments so I decided to try it again. I will shave every Saturday and do the treatments on Monday. Places include : Legs, tummy, private parts.

I already have a skincare routine that I follow somewhat religiously. But I do experiment with products and I still haven't perfected it. There is an egg white face mask I bought that works really well so I'll be doing it three times a week on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.

Right now, these are the core routines and as I'm following them, I will add or remove things accordingly.

[ishkabibblethings]

March 23rd

A fluffy Suits ficlet | Marvey (established) | Rated G "I had your secretary clear your afternoon. It's time we hit up that spa again, especially after the last few weeks." Harvey declares distractedly as he flips through their mail. Mike is still working on his breakfast at the kitchen counter and only mumbles an agreement. A real vacation is out of the question while they're so occupied at the firm, but an afternoon off together still sounds beautiful.

"I'll make us something nice tonight," Mike offers.

"Let's go all in, I'll find us a table somewhere good," Harvey replies and Mike can't find a reason to disagree. Mike secretly suspects that their time at the spa is more for Harvey than he'll admit but he's got no complaints.

"That sounds wonderful. It's been, what, like a year since we had a day like this? Good idea, dude." Mike moves around to the sink to drop off his dishes and pecks Harvey on the cheek as he passes by. "I'll just be a few minutes and we can head out."

"Don't call me dude, puppy," Harvey responds with a grin and watches Mike disappear into their bedroom.

Mike is in the bathroom wondering what it was that made Harvey plan another spa trip. Was his personal grooming slipping? They've been living together long enough but he's heard no complaints. He thinks back to their last trip, and the one before that, just when they'd started dating. It's a rare indulgence, and now that Mike thinks about it, it's always happened in the early spring.

Wait, now that he really considers it, picturing his work calendars, it has happened on this date each time. March 23rd. A knot starts to form in Mike's stomach. Fuck. Some sort of anniversary, it has to be something important for Harvey to move work around for it. Mike searches his brain, picturing every calendar he and Harvey kept, trying to remember similarities and differences, the reasoning behind the repeated treat day.

He must have taken longer than he realizes because Harvey comes to check and see if Mike's ready to go.

"You okay?"

"Uh yeah I'm good," Mike responds and checks the mirror again. He slips on his shoes and grabs his messenger bag.

In the car, Mike checks Harvey over for signs of emotions tucked away - disappointment, grief, frustration - notices nothing alarming and finds himself relaxing just a bit. Nothing he's done wrong, at least. Time to test his hypothesis.

"You know what, Harvey I forgot I've got a thing with Katrina this afternoon. Let's move the spa appointment to the weekend?"

"What thing with Katrina? Your secretary said she could move everything."

"I don't know if it ever made it in the books, she needs help with an in house thing for Louis." Mike bluffs.

"Well I'll encourage her to let you reschedule. It was hard to get these appointments today and you deserve a break." Harvey reaches for Mike's hand between them and laces their fingers together.

"Harvey, what's special about today?" Mike tries to keep his tone neutral.

"Aside from my stunning good looks and charm?" Harvey hams, and Mike actually scoffs.

"That's the same every day and you know it. Really Harvey, what's today?"

"I just want to give you a treat today, can't I do that as your loving boyfriend?"

Harvey's gone playful, so Mike knows he hasn't messed anything up. Harvey is also still avoiding the question so Mike knows he's on the right path.

"Of course you can. And I accept. But when my loving boyfriend happens to want to take me to a spa and dinner yearly on the same day without context, one is driven to wonder."

Harvey chuckles, knowing he's been caught.

"You really thought I wouldn't notice. Me, of all people? Twice is a coincidence, three is a pattern."

"Oh really, smart ass? Think back further." Harvey challenges.

"We weren't dating bef-"

"No we weren't together before that. Think back anyway."

Mike's eye focus on nothing in particular, and Harvey trusts he'll find it.

"The ties. You gifted me ties." Mike's head tilts a little in confusion and it's all Harvey can do to hold back a laugh.

"And lunch too," Harvey offers, feeling generous.

"I don't get it. Harvey, tell me. What's today? Why today?"

"So it started as a stupid joke, but you never caught on so I just kept going with it to see if you ever would." Harvey shrugs like he's almost embarrassed it's become a thing. Mike just watches him expectantly.

Harvey leans until his breath and lips are just close enough to make Mike's ear and neck tingle. Harvey's voice is private and Mike can hear his fond smile. "Happy National Puppy Day, Mike."

[akookminsupporter]

New day, same shit, same fandom

From the moment you come into this fandom one of the first things you learn is that the main "enemy" of BTS is kpoppies or fans of other K-pop groups; what no one tells you and what you have to learn on your own is that Jimin's main enemy is their own fandom.

Generalisations are never good, but for the sake of this conversation, I'll talk about fandom in general with the understanding that not everyone in it thinks or acts this way.

When hickey-gate happened or we learned about it the fandom collectively didn't know how to act. Everyone concluded that what Jungkook had on his neck was really a hickey and that it was Jimin who did it - the reasons each fan believed were different.

That day was funny because everyone, with a few exceptions, couldn't justify what they saw, what Jimin and Jungkook showed us and what they told us, but deep down we know that many didn't like it and were uncomfortable with what it possibly meant. I know and many of us know that many were dying to o7ify that hickey and today in a way they managed to do so.

In today's Wlive Joon clearly had a hickey on his neck, he tried to hide it, downplay it and in the end, gave a not-so-plausible explanation, but that's what he said and we have to respect it, the problem is what happened afterwards or the reaction of the fandom. Their chance to o7ify that moment between Jimin and Jungkook finally came. This time, in the form of " jokes".

Many immediately came out tweeting that that hickey was obviously done by Jimin because we all know he's a biter. Others said that Jimin probably does the same thing to all members or that he has given every member a hickey, that's his thing! Some said. At the end of every tweet or in a different tweet they make the disclaimer that it was all a "joke".

All of us who have been paying attention know of the thousand and one hurtful, offensive and cruel narratives that the subgroup has raised against Jimin, one of them being that Jimin is basically a slut that members pass off on each other and these "jokes" that many are making today only perpetuate that narrative.

It's frustrating how those people don't understand how offensive those "jokes" are and it's frustrating how their arrogance doesn't make them understand why many of us are upset and it's frustrating how they don't understand that those jokes give more validation to the subgroup to keep saying stupid things about Jimin.

Joon at no point mentioned Jimin, but somehow they concluded that it was Jimin who did it to him. It's funny how many in this fandom get offended when someone even hints that another member is lgtbi+ but has no problem joking about Jimin in that context.

It's frustrating how many in this fandom still have this misconception about who Jimin really is and don't understand that Jimin is the most respectful member of BTS. And that's something I won't argue with anyone. Jimin knows boundaries, he knows where to stop and unlike what many want to believe, he doesn't behave with all members the same way he behaves with Jungkook. And no, this is not me trying to make it all about JiKook, this is about telling many of you that you don't really know Jimin.

The most frustrating thing about this is that several jikookers and vminkookers also made "jokes" about this. They are also normalising behaviour in the fandom in relation to Jimin which is toxic and dangerous, and that is frustrating. Once again I wonder why the aversion against Jimin? why the fear towards jikook?

A few days ago the subgroup demonized Jimin's donation to UNICEF for the affected children in Türkiye (Turkey) and Syria and no one did anything. Interesting how they didn't say the same about Hobi, who did exactly the same thing. The problem is when Jimin does it. The problem for many is Jimin.

Will I ever stop making posts like this?

Jimin is a wonderful, talented, respectful and private person. With a beautiful soul. super talented, funny and LOVED by MILLIONS of people in the world. Jimin will continue to succeed, and make lots of money and his detractors will continue to be bitter in the darkness of their bedrooms.

[astaroth1357]

Proposing to Simeon

I found this sitting in my old drafts and it felt too good to let gather more dust.

It'd be plain to say that the MC was nervous… so incredibly nervous.

Simeon loved them, they had no doubt about that, but despite their feelings there was always an unspoken distance in their relationship…

He was an angel, a being of pure grace, and the MC was a lowly human… So many things about their love brought up questions… Was it permissible? Are they breaking any rules? Did they even deserve him...?

Some of these questions don't have clear answers and the MC was too scared to ask anyway… But they loved Simeon desperately with all their heart and soul. They couldn't imagine a day without him…

Despite their worries and their fears… they knew that they wanted him to know that. They wanted to make it official!

When they got to Purgatory Hall, Simeon was in his room toiling away at another draft. They could tell it was giving him some trouble, but he greeted them with a smile nonetheless…

No matter how busy or frustrated he was, he could always make time for them. Just another one of his angelic qualities, of course.

Simeon: "MC! What brings you here?"

He had to turn his desk chair to face them directly, but when he did they could tell he knew something was wrong… In truth, MC wasn't really hiding their nerves all that well and it didn't take anyone particularly empathic to know that.

Simeon: "Is something wrong?"

His worry was clearly evident in his voice as he got up to hold them immediately. Though the MC would usually never begrudge their angel's speedy reaction to their discomfort, they had to take a step back from him when he tried to approach them in the doorway...

Of all the times for him to act so perfect… Should they even be trying this?

MC: "Uhm… Simeon? Can I have a minute? I have a question to ask…"

They could see that he was stunned, and maybe a little hurt, from their sudden withdrawal from his arms but he didn't make a move to stop them.

Simeon: "I… Yes, of course… What is it?"

Given the go ahead, and knowing it's now or never, the MC hung their head to speak.

MC: "I've been wanting to say that… I… I've been so happy with you, Simeon. And I know that doesn't sound like much, but I mean it. Every day with you has felt better than the last but I feel so selfish because I know what kind of problems that I cause for you and I just-!"

A gloved finger softly silenced their rambling before tilting their head back up to look into their angel's eyes, warm with admiration and love.

Simeon: "I've told you before, my love, that none of that troubles me… I'll be here for you today just as much as I will be tomorrow and anyday after that."

MC: "... Really? 'Anyday'...?"

Simeon blinked, caught off guard yet again by the question, but nodded affirmatively.

Simeon: "Yes, that's what I just said…"

MC: "Well, how's about 'every day' instead? 'Till death do us part..?"

Reaching into their pocket, they finally pulled out the source of their hesitation all evening… A little white velvet box so small that it could only hold one thing and both of them knew it.

For the first time ever, the MC saw their angel pale somewhat at the sight of it - like he was witnessing a nightmare - and they felt an instant pange of regret. They shouldn't have tried this, it was much too soon!

Before they could hide the jewelry box away again, Simeon's hand took it from theirs with all the reverence of a priceless artifact… They watched quietly as he held it in his palm then, eyes glistening with tears, brought it close to his chest.

He didn't respond to their question, perhaps he couldn't or maybe just shouldn't, but he didn't need to anyway. They knew from his smile, his beautiful, honored smile, that they had their answer.

Now if they just had his Dad's blessing...

[queen-dahlia]

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭

ღ 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝟭 & 𝟮 ღ 𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ღ 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘂𝗺 𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ღ 𝗘𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 ღ

Kougyoku/Ruby/Red Jade. I decided to go for the Ruby Country instead, will edit this once Act 3 is out

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback

The incident occurred just as I was getting used to life in Obsidian, a country of military and ore, and was beginning to relax.

Emma: "Gilbert!"

Gilbert: "Hey, little rabbit. What's the matter?"

(… It's Gilbert.)

(It's not an illusion... right?)

I approached Gilbert, who was writing at his desk, and placed my hand on his arm.   //   I approach Gilbert, who is writing at his desk, and place his hand on my arm.

The feeling of cool skin is definitely the person himself.

The next thing that came to me was an uncontrollable rage.

Emma: "Where have you been! All day, without saying a word to anyone..."

(I was scared...)

This morning, Gilbert suddenly disappeared.

He did not tell his aide, Roderich, or the soldiers working at the castle where he was going,

He disappeared like a bubble, and I could not find even a trace of him.

(Both Roderich and I were really worried.)

I've been to the city as well as the castle, but I couldn't find him anywhere…

Roderich was calm, saying that it was "a common occurrence,"

He also said that each time he does this, it chills him to his core.

(The situation without Gilbert in the castle is traumatic for both me and Roderich.)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "Surprised?"

Gilbert: "I wanted to see the little rabbit crying her eyes out."

Gilbert: "But still, you look terrible... Hehe, you must have been so sad."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(一I don't want to run around the castle looking for Gilbert like that again.)

Emma: "If you're going to leave, at least say something to someone!"

Gilbert: "Hehe, you look like you're about to cry."

Gilbert stands up from his chair without showing any guilt and embraces me.

The sound of a slow, pulsing heartbeat reaches my eardrums, and my eyes are burning.

Gilbert: "Little Bunny doesn't want to be away from me even for a day."

Emma: "… I don't mean that in that way."

Gilbert: "Eh, isn't it? You're a bad girl for getting my hopes up and then dropping them."

Emma: "Don't try to mislead me! Where were you and what were you doing today?"

Gilbert: "Oh, I get it. You were worried I was seeing another woman? Ahaha, Little Bunny is jealous."

Gilbert: "But rest assured, all I see is you, Little Bunny."

Gilbert: "If you're still worried about me, I'll kill any woman who comes near me."

Emma: "So..."

I looked up, frustrated at the lack of engagement in the conversation, and a short kiss was dropped.

Gilbert: "Let me reassure you right now. I'm devoted to you… okay?"

(Why are you deceiving me? What was it that you didn't want anyone to know about?)

Gilbert never lies.

But sometimes the truth is hidden in a deep fog.

Once covered by fog, it is difficult to make it clear.

(If you have something to hide from me, there are two possibilities...)

(Either you've done something bloody that you can't talk about, or you're not feeling well...)

Gilbert repeatedly kisses me, and his cold lips become warm.

I felt like I would be swept away if I didn't, so I protected my lips with my hand in between the non-stop kisses.

Gilbert: "Heh, that's what you do?"   //   "Heh, are you going to do that?"

His red eye seems to narrow, and he bites my finger lightly.

Emma: "… I'm sure you know what I mean, Gilbert."

Gilbert: "Then you know what you're getting into. I'm a tough guy."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "It's okay, look."

He grabs my hand, which still has bite marks on it, and has Gilbert place it on his own cheek.

Gilbert: "At least I'm here now."

Gilbert: "That's why... okay?"

(In the end, I don't know why Gilbert disappeared without telling anyone...)

(… Certainly, if you're with the people, that's enough.)   //   (… Certainly, it would be fine if the people came.) **

Emma: "I understand. Just remember this."

Emma: "Gilbert, there are people who worry about you when you disappear."

Gilbert: "Hehe… I know. But I like your crying face."

(This big villain…)

I remove my hand from Gilbert's cheek and try to wipe the tears that are about to spill, but he grabs me as if to blame me.

Instead, his lips were of a comfortable temperature, and he wiped my tears away.

Gilbert: "… Little Bunny, are you sulking?"

Emma: "Just a little..."

Gilbert: "I see. Then I guess I owe you an apology."

Emma: "Rather than an apology, I'd like you to promise me that you won't disappear on your own in the future."

Gilbert: "I see... Well, then I have a good idea."

(I don't think there's anything like a "good idea" in a mere promise.)

Gilbert: "I hope you like it."

(... This smile... It's a hunch that comes from experience, but I'm a little uneasy...)

══════════════════

一After that, Gilbert took me into his bed without releasing me, and the next morning greeted me.

When I woke up and got up, I saw a wedding dress in my sleepy vision.

(Wow, so beautiful. I've never seen a pitch-black wedding dress before, but the shape is elegant and stylish一)

(… A wedding dress?!)

Gilbert: "Good morning, little rabbit. You've been looking funny all morning, haven't you?"

Gilbert seems to have been up first and stands next to the dressed torso in a perfectly prepared state.

No matter how many times I stare at it, the view remains the same.

Emma: "Gilbert, that's..."

Gilbert: "A Wedding Dress for You."

(If I didn't see it wrong, I wasn't mistaken!)

Due to the shock, I accidentally dropped the sheets I was holding onto.

My naked body was exposed to the soft sunlight of the morning, and I hurriedly grabbed it again.

Emma: "… Why…"

Gilbert: "Apologies for yesterday."

Emma: "Your apology is a wedding dress?"

Gilbert: "Yes. Because you want a promise that I will never leave you, right?"

Emma: "… A promise not to disappear on your own."

Gilbert: "It means the same thing."

(I-I guess...)

Gilbert: "And you see, the wedding was kind of a mess, wasn't it?"   //   "Besides, you see, the wedding somehow ended up being irrelevant, didn’t it?"

Gilbert: "Let's take this opportunity to do it."

(Marriage...ceremony...)

Gilbert: "What's with that look? You and I are already in that kind of relationship, aren't we?"

Gilbert: "You chose to become a member of the royal family. I won't let you tell me it's different now, okay?"

(... I know that. I know that, but...)

Some time ago, when Obsidian had the opportunity to sign non-aggression pacts with neighboring nations, including Rhodolite,

I once went to the signing ceremony as a "proxy empress" with the emperor's mandate.

In exchange for peace, I offered to become a member of the Obsidian royal family…

In other words, in other countries, I am already married to Gilbert.

(Gilbert hates lies, so it was something that had to be true at some point.)

(But... now?! In my opinion一)

Emma: "A dress is not something that can be made overnight, is it?"

Gilbert: "Yes. I've been secretly preparing it since the day I measured you."

(I mean, Gilbert calls it an "apology," but it was planned for a long time.)

(I don't know what to do... I'm so surprised I can't think straight.)

At least Gilbert's eyes were serious enough to make my heart flutter.

Emma: "Are you really in your right mind... about having a wedding?"

Gilbert: "Yes, I don't lie. You wouldn't say no, would you?"

Emma: "I won't say that, but I will say I'm not prepared..."

Gilbert: "I've given you plenty of time to prepare, okay?"

(I don't know if I had time for that.)

(No, we didn't have a wedding right after that day when I went back to Obsidian from Rhodolite...)

(Now that I think about it, it may have been Gilbert's mercy and consideration.)

(…But no one would expect him to suddenly come up with a once-in-a-lifetime wedding proposal like this!?)

Emma: "Just a little bit more..."

Gilbert: "No good. I want to get married officially as soon as possible."   //   "No. I want to make this marriage official as soon as possible."

Emma: "Why?"

Gilbert: "I love you too much."

(His smile is even more dazzling than usual.)

Even my sleepy head was gradually coming to grips with reality.

Seeing how happy Gilbert was, it was difficult for me to continue to resist.

(But I wonder what it is.)

(It should be a happy thing, but this feeling like my chest is turning black...)

══════════════════

Gilbert released a sudden bomb that afternoon.

A book merchant who regularly comes to sell books to the royal family visited Obsidian Castle一

It was Mr. Akatsuki, the owner of the bookstore where I used to work.

Gilbert: "一So, Dad. We're officially getting married."

Akatsuki: ". . . . . ."

Akatsuki: ". . . . . . . . ."

Akatsuki: "…… I'm gonna kill you."

Emma: "Owner!?"

The owner, who hails from Ruby Country, wears flashy clothes as usual and mercilessly tries to pull out the katana that he carries at his waist.

It was both reassuring and heartbreaking to see him stand his ground without regard to the royalty of a great nation.   //   The sight of him standing up to the imperial family of a large power without hesitation was both reassuring and heartbreaking.

Gilbert: "Ahaha, Papa is stubborn. But your daughter is going to leave the nest someday, right?"

Akatsuki: "It's about someday, not now."

Gilbert: "That's not for Papa to decide, is it?"

Akatsuki: "It's advice from an elder. What are you in such a hurry for?"

(… "In such a hurry"…?)

The owner finally comes to his senses, takes his hand off his katana, sits back in his chair, and reaches for the tea I have prepared for him.

The situation had calmed down, and I sat down next to Gilbert with my chest heaving.

Akatsuki: "I understand Emma's position. It is truly regrettable, but externally she is already a member of the Obsidian royal family."

Akatsuki: "It's not surprising that the idea of marriage is being talked about."

Gilbert: "If you understand it so well, why can't we get married?"

Akatsuki: "I say it's too soon. You don't know each other yet."

(Oh... that's it.)

(I'm sure I had that stuck in my mind.)

Marriage is supposed to be a process of getting to know each other deeply,

But the time that Gilbert and I spent together was still shorter than that of the owner, at least.

(I'm his lover, but I don't know everything about Gilbert.)

(I'm not sure if it's really a good idea to get officially married in such a state.)

Gilbert: "It's not too late to get to know each other after we're married, is it?"

Gilbert: "If we're going to get married anyway, why not do it now or a few years from now, when the outcome won't be any different?"   //   "If we're going to get married anyway, the result won't change whether you get married now or in a few years, right?"

Gilbert: "I want us to get married and call me 'Gil' as soon as possible."

(... I guess Gilbert doesn't think like I do.)

Akatsuki: "If you go through the formalities, Emma will lose her chance to escape before she even knows about you."

Akatsuki: "You may want it, but I won't allow it."

Akatsuki: "Marriage is only possible when you know Emma better than I do."

Gilbert: "Oh no, I know a lot about the little rabbit, too, don't I?"

Akatsuki: "Then you know what I'm talking about. What do you think Emma is thinking right now?"

The owner and Gilbert's eyes turned toward me in unison.

I had never had a chance to intervene, but it seems that the opportunity has finally presented itself.

(I'm sorry, Gilbert.)

Emma: "I am closer to the owner."

Emma: "Even if we were to get married someday, I'm not sure I could consider you family just yet, Gilbert."

Gilbert: "... Hmm? That's the extent of the love that the little rabbit had for me."

Emma: "I'm being cautious because I love you."

Emma: "I don't want to be dishonest to you, Gilbert."

(Even more so because I know the feelings that Gilbert has for me...)

Gilbert: "Dishonest, huh…?"

(Uh…)

Gilbert, who narrowed his red eye, stood up from his seat一

He went behind me, put his hands on both my shoulders, and looked into my face.

Gilbert: "I care about you more than my family."

Gilbert: "Because, you see, I didn't kill you. Whatever you do, I won't kill you."   //   "Because you didn't kill me, did you? No matter what you do, I won't kill you."

Cold fingers crawl down my throat, and my body stiffens involuntarily.

Gilbert: "Hey, isn't that what family is for?"

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(Not killing is family, I guess.)

(... No, it's a normal thing to do, but for Gilbert, "not to kill" has a special meaning.)

As a member of the Obsidian royal family, Gilbert's "I will not kill" means the same thing as "I love you."

(But that's something different from the definition of family...)

Gilbert: "Isn't that right?"

As if seeing through my heart, Gilbert smiles.

Emma: "… I don't know how to put this into words..."

Akatsuki: "Give up on marriage, Gilbert. If you're going to force her一"

The owner, sitting across from me, puts his hand on his katana again.

Gilbert: "Ahaha, scary."

While saying that he was scared, Gilbert pressed his lips against my forehead.

Emma: "Gilbert... someday I want to wear that wedding dress."

Emma: "But we have a lot of time ahead of us, so there's no need to rush, right?"

Gilbert: "A lot, huh..."

(What's with that face?)

Gilbert smiles with his eyes downcast and moves away from me.

It was just a momentary, trivial flicker of facial expression, but my heart was flaring. **

(... I feel like I shouldn't pretend not to notice the look on your face right now.)

Gilbert: "I don't have a choice. I'll do a lot more bad things to make the little rabbit feel that way."

Akatsuki: "... Do anything poorly, and you'll lose your life."

(The owner is right, I guess I don't know everything about Gilbert after all.)

(. . . . . .)

(… Ever since yesterday, I can't stop feeling bad about it.)

(I was trying not to pry too deeply into what Gilbert was doing...)

══════════════════

Walter: "Lady Emma? Did you get hurt somewhere!?"

That evening, I stepped into the doctor's office under the watchful eye of Gilbert,

Walter, the court physician, welcomed me with a panicked look.

Walter: "If anything happens to you, all the soldiers serving at Obsidian Castle will go to the gallows."

Emma: "Don't worry, I'm in perfect health!"

Walter: "Oh, good... Thank goodness."

(I can't help but laugh at the fact that he's overreacting...)

Walter: "Then, is there something wrong with Lord Gilbert?"

(Yesterday, when I looked around for Gilbert, I didn't see Walter either.)

He is Gilbert's personal doctor. Either he didn't happen to be there, or一

Emma: "I thought you might know, Walter. I was wondering if you knew why Gilbert disappeared yesterday..."

Walter: ". . . . . ."

Walter, who had been talkative up to that point, instantly stopped talking.

Emma: "I knew you knew it."

Walter: "… Doctors do not release patient information unless there is a very good reason."

Emma: "I already know. Walter's reaction is enough."   //   "I understand. Walter's response is all I need."

(If only the resident doctor knew, then he was sick and recuperating somewhere.)

(... Gilbert still does not show me any weakness.)

(No, it's not only me but also his aide, Walter...)

I am not trying to condemn it or tell it to stop, but it is just so empty.

(I think the act of showing weakness by the Obsidian royal family is directly related to death.)

(In this country, where corruption and deceit were said to be prevalent not long ago, killing each other is a daily occurrence...)

(No matter how close we get, it can be scary to show weakness.)

Of course, that is not the only reason; perhaps he is also worried about me.

However, if this kind of thing continues, it is likely that one day Gilbert will really disappear like a bubble and not come back to the castle forever without knowing the cause.

(Really, we shouldn't get married under these circumstances.)

(I'm just a person Gilbert can't trust yet.)   //   (Because I am the one that Gilbert can't believe in yet.)

I thank Walter and leave the infirmary.

(What should I do after this? Do I go to Gilbert's room, or do I just go back to my room...)

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I could not react quickly when someone suddenly covered my mouth from behind.

Emma: "Hmm...!?"

(What!?)

[lucy90712]

Hii, can you please write a Pedri imagine where yn is really stressed because of uni and Pedri has been feeling unloved so they end up fighting but in the end make up???

wc: 2300+

Being in my last year of university has been so much harder than I ever imagine it would have been. It has been constant studying and exams the entire year and now that the end is in sight it's only ramping up even more. The last week I've barely left my desk as I have some really important exams coming up which I need to do well on to get a good degree. Having to study so much has been tiring and I miss having a normal routine but I mostly miss spending time with my boyfriend Pedri. 

I have felt so awful because every day when Pedri gets home he comes to spend time with me and every time I brush him off and only see him again when I get into bed after he's already fallen asleep. Shutting him out is the wrong thing to do and I know that but I really need to concentrate and I know I'll never go back to studying if I start spending time with him. Not being able to talk to him about training or watch his matches has been difficult but I've stayed strong and have kept focused on studying no matter how boring it gets. 

Today has been the worst day as nothing has gone right I just haven't been able to take in any information and I've just been really frustrated with everything. All of this isn't helped by the fact that I barely slept last night as I was worrying about my first exam which is in just two days now. I have always been that person that gets overly anxious about exams even when they don't mean anything so when an exam is really important I'm just a constant ball of nerves. Just as I was actually getting into studying and starting to understand the content I heard the front door open and close meaning Pedri was home. I love Pedri so much but I was kind of hoping that he wouldn't come in to see me as I don't want to be distracted but of course a few seconds later he came in and stood in the doorway. To be kind I looked and and smiled at him before going back to making notes but as soon as I did I heard him sigh. 

"Is everything ok?" I asked while still writing 

"Not really no I've miss you you are always in here studying all day and I don't see you at all" he said 

"I'm sorry Pedri I wish I could spend more time with you but these exams are really important and I need to do well" I said 

"I know but I barely see you for a minute every day it's like you're not here" he said 

"I'm sorry why don't you come and sit with me so we can be together" I suggested 

That was all it took for him to get another chair to pull up next to mine which seemed to make him happier. Right away he tried asking me questions about what I was doing which is why I've wanted to be left alone as he just distracts me but I answered his questions anyway while trying to keep focused. He kept talking about everything that's happened in the last week which I wanted to listen to but I was trying to block him out as I noticed my mind drifting from studying and luckily he didn't seem to notice as I know it would upset him if I wasn't listening. We sat together for a while with him just talking before he started to put an arm around my waist which was fine until he tried to move me closer to him. When he did that I gently moved his arm off me and moved my chair back to its original position which was a bit further away from him. 

He left me alone for a while before moving closer again grabbing hold of my arm that wasn't writing to hold my hand and then rested his head on my shoulder. It was annoying but I let it happen until he started to press kisses to my neck and jaw which usually I love but today I just wanted to be left alone. I let him do it for a while before I realised that I hadn't written anything since he started kissing me. It pained me but I had to move away slightly which meant his lips detached from my neck and I took my hand back to turn the page on my textbook. As soon as I did that he got up and went to leave but he stopped in the doorway again to look back at me. 

"I would say I'll see you later but I know I won't see your for another few weeks" he said 

"Pedri wait I'm sorry it's just this is really important" I said feeling bad 

"I know it's important but so is our relationship y/n I'm starting to think you don't really care about me" he said 

"Don't be like this you know I care about you I'm just busy it's not like you spend loads of time with me either I mean you didn't exactly make an effort during the World Cup" I bit back 

"That was different I was playing in the biggest football maybe even sports tournament" he said 

"Just because you play football doesn't mean you are more important than me my exams are a big deal to me and you should be supportive because I always support everything you do even when it impacts me" I argued 

"I am so supportive of you don't even start this" he said 

"Then just leave that way I can't start anything" I said sarcastically 

"I was going to leave anyway" he replied while slamming the door 

As soon as the door shut my head hit the desk and tears started to fall down my cheeks at a rapid pace. I never wanted to argue with Pedri nor did I mean to push him away and make him feel like I don't care about him. The things I said were swirling around my head as I scolded myself for even thinking them let alone saying them out loud. I know Pedri is supportive of whatever I do and he tried his best to talk to me as much as possible during the World Cup but I just had to get back at him somehow as I know I'm in the wrong. His comment about not seeing me for another few weeks hit me hard as it made me realise that when I’ve been struggling to sleep or focus on studying it isn't because I'm worried about exams it's because I miss spending time with Pedri and having a break each day. 

After crying for a while I made myself stop and get back to studying for a bit because I know Pedri won't want to talk to me so I might as well make use of the time until he'll have calmed down. When I picked up my pen I tried to read through the textbook in front of my but all the words became jumbled and the tears started to leave my eyes yet again. I just didn't want to study anymore I wanted to make it up to Pedri as he's more important to me than some stupid exam. One bad grade won't kill me but losing Pedri might so I put away all of my things and left to go and find Pedri. 

Pedri's POV

The second I slammed the door I regretted it I don't know what came over me but I started a stupid unnecessary argument and now I've made the both of us upset. I feel awful as y/n has been working non stop studying for her exams which are coming up and I know they are really important to her which is why she's been working so hard but I had to go and make her feel bad about it. Everyday she has shut herself away and spent every waking minute looking at textbooks or materials online which has annoyed me as I barely see her at all every day but thinking about it more I realise that she wouldn't do that unless she had to as no one wants to spend their life that way. 

I'm such an awful boyfriend instead of just being there to support her and help her realise that she needs some time to relax I started an argument instead. She's probably so stressed already with her exams and I've probably made it 10x worse by making her think I'm mad at her when really I'm not I just miss her. I'm used to coming home from training and being greeted at the door and getting to snuggle with her in bed at the end of the day so not doing that has affected me more than I thought it would and I'm just aching to have her next to me again but now I've made her feel awful. The things that keeps going through my mind is what she said about the effort I made while away for the World Cup because she's right sure I was busy with matches and training but there is time I could've spent calling her but instead I went out with the team while she sat and waited to hear from me. 

After thinking for a while I couldn't just sit there anymore I had to go and apologise to y/n and try and make it up to her for being such an awful boyfriend. Before going to apologise I ordered her favourite desert so that I could give it to her to help her studying and also say sorry. Once the order went through I got up and went back to y/n's office but before I could open the door I heard sniffling from the other side of the door and then I heard her actually crying. As soon as I heard that I just stopped I couldn't open the door knowing that I was the one that made her cry. I've never made her cry before at least not from sadness and it really hurts to know that I'm the one that has made her so upset because I never want to hurt her but now I have and I feel awful. I didn't want to open the door and see her like that but I also wanted to stop her crying so I took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Your POV 

I have no idea how much time had passed but after crying into my textbook for a while I heard the door open which I knew would be Pedri so I didn't look up not wanting him to see me like this or to start arguing again. I was hoping he would just leave again if I didn't look up but he didn't instead he came over and put a hand on my back to rub it gently. His actions made me look up to see him standing next to me with a sorry look in his eyes which made me feel worse than I already did. Once I was looking at him he crouched down in front of me and wiped the tears from my face then leaving his hand to linger on my cheek for a second before putting it back by his side. 

We looked at each other for a few moments before I couldn't handle being apart from him any longer I just needed to be in his arms and to forget about everything that happened earlier so I threw my arms around him. He accepted my embrace straight away and lifted me up to bring me out of my office and to the bedroom where he sat down on the bed with me on his lap. Being back in his arms felt so good I've really missed our daily cuddles and just spending time with him. Even after being such an awful girlfriend for the last week Pedri still just moved on and started to take care of me even though I'm the one that should be trying to make it up to him. 

"I'm sorry" I said after a while of sitting in silence 

"It's ok I'm sorry too I shouldn't have started an argument" he apologised 

"No it's my fault I'm sorry I've shut you out this week I just really want to do well on these exams and to stop myself getting too stressed I have to study" I explained 

"It's ok love I understand you don't need to apologise I should be supporting you and trying to help not making you feel bad" he said 

"Can we both agree that we should've done things differently and move on I'll try and take more breaks to spend time with you and then we won't argue anymore" I suggested 

"Of course love I just want you to be happy and not so stressed so if you need to study don't worry about me as long as you make it up to me after exams are over I'll be fine" he joked 

"Oh I'll definitely make it up to you" I teased 

I regretted my teasing straight away because he tackled me into the bed and started pressing kisses all over my face and neck. He was teasing me now but I didn’t care it was just nice to be spending time with him again. In that moment I decided to spend at least some time with Pedri everyday so that we can talk like we always do or do what we are doing now anything to relax with him. 

[brightdrawings]

Comforting Cuddles

The portal work has been slow, luckily you know how to help turn a certain conman's smile upside down. also on ao3!

With the long day behind you, Stan and yourself decided to retire to bed together. Hand in hand like love sick puppies still going on their first date. You would have told Stan the thought, but you were enjoying the warmth of his hand in yours too much to want to spoil it with mockery.

You part hands momentarily, but even that felt like too long as the pair of you took off your clothing. Not torn off in the excitement of a night of passion, instead you left your clothing in a pile on the floor, ready to be added to tomorrow's laundry.

Stan got into bed first, lifting the cover to let you follow him, which you did with little hesitation. You wrapped your arms around his waist as the pair of you got comfortable on the mattress. You peppered the back of his neck with kisses leading up to his cheek.

He sighed, letting himself melt into your embrace. A silent admission of trust, that he needn't hold up and barriers around you as he allowed you to shower him with affection.

You spent a few minutes kissing him up and down before he placed a hand on your face to push you back.

"Jeez, what's with you today?" He asked sarcastically.

"I just want to make sure that you know how much I love you" you replied innocently, placing a hand on his chest.

"You plan to keep me up at night with kisses to do that?" He asked, quirking up his eye brow.

"If that's what it takes to let you know how much I love you, than yes." You smirked, planting a kiss on his lips.

"Ugh, I knew I should have been careful when dating a sap like you." He groaned, but begrudgingly let you nuzzle up to his back.

"You looked really down today," you said after a beat. "I wanted to help cheer you up"

"Babe-" Stan cut himself off. "It's not that I don't trust you. I just-"

"You know, if you're having trouble I can help you right? I'm not as smart as Ford but a partner's job is to support one another in their time of need." You spoke gently into his ear. He gave a heavy sigh before speaking again. "It's been a month and we still haven't made any progress on the portal. It feels like I'm just hitting wall after wall."

"It's normal to struggle." You said.

"But if I don't get him back-"

"He didn't build that thing in a day Stan" your scratched his hair. "Taking some time to repair it without the instructions isn't going to be exactly easy."

"I feel like such a failure. Like, maybe if I had paid attention for once in school then maybe things could have been different." His voice was soft but shaking.

You frowned, pulling him closer to you so that he could feel your chest against his back. Your heart beats gently in tandem with his own as you let him vent his frustrations about his failures and inadequacies.

"I've just been on the run since then, and now I'm thrust into this, trying to understand something that I doubt anyone could." He sighed. "I wish I could see him. Even for a moment."

"What would you do?" You asked, rubbing gently against his scalp.

"I'd say I was sorry for always being a screw up. That I'd go back and kick myself in the head for not wanting him to go to his fancy school. To say that I'm sorry he didn't have a better brother." He was added under his breath.

"And you'll get your chance to say that you're sorry and prove that you're a good brother," you said. He grunted. "You're the most stubborn person I know. If anyone can make it work. It will be you. I know you won't give Up no matter how long it takes you to get him back. And I'll be here with it every step of the way." You added one final kiss to his neck for the night.

"But why?" He asked. Not rolling over.

"Because," you flicked his nose. "I love you. And if we were reversed I know you'd have done the same for me."

"Yeah. That sounds right." Stanley said calmly. "Thank you."

"Anytime my love. Any time" you said cuddling into his back, taking in his pine tree and cigar scent before closing your eyes for a well deserved rest. It was a good several minutes later, when you were sleeping soundly with your gentle snore filling the room, that Stanley finally spoke before closing his own eyes for the night. "I love you too."

[computer-cacophony]

Eventful, But Nice (Journey Blog #2)

Since my first blog post a few months ago, a lot has changed.

First, I found out that I'm trans and bi with a lean towards men. For the first time in a while, I feel... so comfortable and so secure. I know I went back and forth about who or what I was, but I think a lot of that was my God-fearing guilty conscience talking.

Second, no luck on the job hunt so far, but I am planning to go back to college. Originally, I was planning to try and find a trading school and learn to be a mechanic, but I'm now pursuing my Associate's Degree in Computer Sciences. Or I should say, I'll be starting next month. To be honest, I never wanted to be in the medical field. The only reason I chose it was because Mom said that it would provide job security. And that may be, but she didn't tell me that, compared to a lot of other fields out there, the competition for said jobs are BRUTAL. They probably are in I.T. too, but at least I'll be going into something I really want to do. (I would have also accepted a culinary degree :P ).

Then there is what happened today. A few weeks ago, I got a summons for jury duty. I thought, what the hell, I'll do it. I filled it out, turned it in, and today I showed up to the courthouse to see who would get picked. As it turned out, I didn't, but that's okay. For the next few months, I might end up getting summoned again and might actually be on a crew. I honestly expected to feel guilty. Jehovah's Witnesses are not supposed to be a part of the world! But I didn't. I wanted to do it. The offer of $54 a day was nice, but also, I've just been tired of being so idle. I want to do my part to help serve and protect the community. Though admittedly it was a little awkward passing by the courthouse (going to a gas station to pick up some breakfast) and seeing a couple of sisters sitting out in front of it with a cart. I don't think they saw me go in, though. I went in by another road and parked behind the courthouse next to the food pantry.

So much is happening, some of it frustrating and stressful, but others are wonderful. I hope I can get enough money soon and finally have the chance to leave. There's so much I want to do. I want to be a better person. I want to have friends, I want to be in love and love someone, I want to be reckless and crazy and unfettered for a night.

It may take some time, but slowly but surely, I will escape. And if there are any fellow PIMOs out there reading this, you can get out, too. I'm here for you. And even if you're POMO or have never been a part of us, I'll be happy to talk. We've all got to stick together, at least in spirit.

[psychocharlie]

Electric Dream Machine 2.0

Disclamer: the song I used here is NOT mine. The song is called Kill you by Dethklok. All rights to the song belong to Dethklok and Brendon Small. Please don't throw me in Mordhouse's secret prison for this, I used it just for fun. The post with song lyrics is here and the previous AU post is here.

The day after that conversation about Uncle Jack, Charlie doesn't show up at Paddy’s. Dennis thought he had managed to calm him down and put the matter to rest, but apparently it didn't go as smoothly as he'd hoped.  

When Dee asks about Charlie's absence, Frank shrugs and talks about trying to get him out of bed, but he didn't want to go and said he'd stay home in bed. And in fact, the oldest member of the gang assures him, he's been kind of weird and moody lately, and even stopped playing Nightcrawlers. A heavy sigh completes the last words, and Frank's frustration is visible to the naked eye.

– Anyway, – he continues, – I figured I'd better leave him alone, the guy deserves a day off. 

Mac rushes to go check on his best friend, but Dee stops him: 

– Where the fuck you going, asshole? Frank said our guy's in a bad mood today and you got the empathy of a toothpick.

– YOU THINK YOU BETTER, BITCH?! – Mac is outraged, he immediately turns to yelling, and the usual Gang’s bickering begins. Dee retorts that, unlike Mac, she has no plans to go bothering Charlie, who just needs to be left alone for today.

Dennis watches this silently with his arms crossed over his chest. Yes, he wants to see Charlie. Yes, he needs to find out how he's doing and try to calm him down somehow. But he's already too wary of spending too much time with Charlie, especially for Mac. Mac is possessive and jealous of everyone. He’s jealous of Charlie because he's his best friend; he's jealous of Dennis as his roommate and, almost obviously to Reynolds, as the object of his unrequited crush. And because of his jealousy, he becomes increasingly unstable. So Dennis didn't want to provoke him any further and kept quiet.

– Will you two just shut the hell up for a second?! – Frank didn't often raise his voice, but he was really tired of Dee and Mac's pointless arguments, and his concern for Charlie seemed to get the better of him. – You two are just going to piss him off, so unless you want something thrown at you on the way in, stay out of it. – Frank stops talking for a moment, opens a beer can and turns to Dennis. He takes a big sip and looking at him a little too intently. – If you want to go and check him out, let Dennis go. You have a strange way of calming him down, – the man says that words directly to him, – maybe he'll even want to join us at the bar afterwards.

And that's it. This is exactly what Dennis was waiting for, without interfering in the Gang's arguments. That things would somehow work out so that he would be sent to Charlie's and he wouldn't look suspicious in his concern for the janitor. 

– Yeah, you're right, I'll go see him. 

Only Mac explodes with resentment again, like a kid who's been robbed of his candy.

– But Charlie's my best friend! 

– Nobody takes your best friend away, you prick. - Dennis snorts and heads for the exit, thinking that he should do something to distract Mac before he gets even more irritated.

***

When Charlie hears a knock at the door, he hesitates to open it, and Dennis stands under the door for another five minutes, knocking and begging Charlie to open it. He finally gives up and lets the visitor in, but immediately returns to his couch without even looking at him, muttering «don't bother me» instead of saying hello. 

A very peculiar picture appears before Dennis's eyes: Charlie, wrapped in a blanket, sits on the edge of a couch that looks like a battlefield, with a synthesizer and a coffee table piled high with some junk. On the table are two half-empty cups of what looks like very strong brewed tea, empty beer bottles, an open can of glue, a can of spray paint with a sock on it, and most importantly, a notebook covered with incomprehensible scribbles and crooked drawings. Charlie was writing something down, but no one could make out his notes but himself. Well, maybe Artemis, if she's lucky.

Dennis looked from the messy table to Charlie himself, disheveled, unwashed, with red, watery eyes and a face stained with colored markers. Charlie Kelly had always been known for his disregard for personal hygiene, but now he looked as if he hadn't washed his face since he was born. And he was clearly wasted from the chemicals and alcohol. 

– Hey, buddy, what are you doin–

– Shh! Shut up, and let me work, I told you! – Charlie shushes him and starts tapping his fingers on the table. Not paying any attention to Dennis anymore, he mumbles something to himself, barely audible. – I don't want to...have to...kill you.

Reynolds can barely hear anything, and he moves closer, listening to his friend's faint murmurings. – They'll fnd out... I... feel blue, – Charlie slurring some words and quickly sketches something incomprehensible and schematic in his notebook, lest he forget. 

– Are you writing a song? – Dennis connects the dots, sits down on the couch next to his friend, and gently touches his shoulder. But Charlie, lost in the creative process, seems to have forgotten that he's not alone, because the touch startles him so much that he jumps up, screaming. 

- I'm sorry, man, it's okay, it's me. It’s just me. – Dennis frowns, a little startled by this sudden and intense reaction, and moves away from Charlie so as not to stress him further. The disheveled man still doesn't answer the question, instead he brings the jar of glue to his nose and inhales a few times. He hands the jar to Dennis, grumbling to himself that he can't think of a follow-up. 

Dennis resignedly accepts the glue, closes his eyes and breathes deeply over the jar, trying to ignore the swarm of restless thoughts in his head, mixing with Charlie’s quiet mumbling.

– Like to take all the skin off your face.

Dennis opens his eyes and places the glue on the table. His hands are shaking. He seems to got out of huffing glue, which is why his head starts spinning so quickly after just a few minutes of deep breaths he makes over the glue jar.  And the dizzy head makes the whole thing even more surreal. 

He looks at Charlie: his movements are jerky, sometimes he taps his drunken fingers on the synth keys, playing something, but he's displeased – «no, no, no, not like that, it sounds like shit!» – and he looks like a big sad moth under his old brown blanket. – Like to take all the skin off your face.– He repeats it again, picks up the melody, and finally seems to find the right sound, because a triumphant smile lights up his face. He plays the melody again, repeating the same line a third time, tasting it.

Mesmerized, Dennis watched the process, no longer interfering. There's something beautiful about this spectacular sight. 

– Like to smash all your... brains, – Kelly continues to mumble, scribbling crooked letters in his notebook, but this time he has some difficulty. – Like to smash all your brains... all your brains... Shit! – man slams his fist on the table, unable to find the right words, and the beer bottle falls and breaks. But the sound of breaking glass suddenly evokes some interesting associations in Dennis.

– Like to smash all your brains with a... vase? – Dennis asks quietly, touching Charlie's hand with his fingers to get his attention. His touch is as gently as possible. The janitor's eyes widen, and he stares at Dennis for a few seconds, his pupils so damn dilated that his eyes seem almost black.

– Like to smash all your brains with a vase. – He repeats Dennis' sentence twice, tastes it on his tongue and nods contentedly. – Yeah, yeah, that's good!

After that, Charlie stopped seeing Dennis as a stranger and even perked up a bit, allowing him to join in the creative process. Lines are written, fanciful pictures are drawn in Charlie's imagination, a simple but appropriate melody follows the words, and Dennis feels like he's stuck in one of his strange dreams. The pictures Charlie's imagination paints are both strange and bloody. It's unlikely, Dennis thinks, that he himself could come up with an epithet about a fly laying eggs in a dead body, but Charlie, with his abstract imagination and strange ideas, does, and Dennis really likes these macabre line. 

He gives in to the urge, and during the simple playback between these lines and the next, he jumps off the couch and dances around singing «Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!» like those old glam rock songs he used to listen to in college. Well, not just in college. He still likes to listen to good old Guns n' Roses, Kiss, Mötley Crüe, Queen and of course his main idol since he was a teenager – David Bowie.

And Charlie, unexpectedly, appreciates the impulse, nods enthusiastically and smiles at Dennis, letting him know that he'll leave it in the song. Later, Dennis adds a few more «danceable» moments to Charlie's lyrics in the same way, enlivening them and giving the otherwise somber lyrics some drive. But the author himself doesn't mind, he starts to have fun either, even though he continues to pour his anger into the lyrics. And Dennis belatedly, but still realizes for whom and what about this song is written. 

He does, but he keeps distracting wasted Charlie with more cheerful melodies. Kind of therapeutic, huh? There's a reason Dennis studied psychology. It works.

Charlie's song is creepy and bloody, but not in a realistic body horror way, but in a cartoonish way: absurd in its cruelty and non-obvious methods and instruments of murder. The mere desire to break his face with ice cream cone is worth a lot. Weird, cartoonish, but undeniably violent. For some unknown reason, Reynolds finds Charlie's out-of-the-box thinking very inspiring. And the whole situation - writing a song together, Charlie, gloomy and now cheerful, glue, spray paint, beer, disheveled hair, dancing together – it all seems so vaguely familiar to Dennis, as if it had all happened once before... a very long time ago. But it all feels so pretty familiar. He's sure he's seen it before.

– Oh, that was a great song, man, –Charlie says, almost falling on Dennis due to the amount of inhaled chemicals and beer in his bloodstream. But at least he's quite happy now. – Thanks for helping me out. I like the way it turned out. 

And then Dennis remembers why this moment seemed so familiar. Years ago they had written and even performed Dayman in a similar way. Oh shit. – Yeah, that song is real rock 'n' roll, man, you're a talent! Too bad Electric Dream Machine doesn't exist anymore, we could even play it on stage.

– Noooo, – mooed his friend, already half on his shoulder, shaking his head languidly from side to side. – No one can hear this song. Only you. You know why. You know. – Charlie's voice becomes more and more slurred as he slowly falls into a sleep of exhaustion and glue. 

The smile fades from Dennis's face, erasing any trace of his former mirth. The song, though it was catchy and fun despite its somber lyrics, still reflected real emotion, serious emotion, and was a heartfelt wish from Charlie for Uncle Jack, who totally deserved it. 

When Dennis looks at Charlie again, he is already asleep on the couch, hugging the blanket with a silly smile on his face. At least that makes Dennis happy, at least he's not dreaming about something creepy and bloody. He finds another blanket on the floor, covers Charlie and moves the junk-filled table and the synthesizer away from the bed so that his friend won't knock it all over when he gets up to take a leak. Then he leaves quietly.

***

– Hey, Dennis, did you go see him? How's he doing? Still won’t leave the house?

Of course, Reynolds is greeted with questions when he comes back. He calms everyone down by saying that Charlie is better now, but he fell asleep, which is why he didn't join him at Paddy's. The gang is somehow satisfied with this answer and he's left alone. 

But Dennis still has some lines from Charlie's new song running through his head. And he can still see his friend's sleepy but momentarily serious face repeating «You know why. You know». And then Uncle Jack's face appears. Deep in his thoughts, the man doesn't notice that he's humming.

– I don't want to have to eat you 

   I won't fit into my swimsuit.

– What are you singing there? – he's called out by Dee, who's already slowly getting ready to go home. 

– Mm? – Dennis flinches in surprise and shakes his head. – Nothing, just a song, Dee. Just a song.

Dee shrugs and just walks away while Dennis stares at her leaving for a long time. Then he turns around and goes into Paddy's office, locking the door behind him. There he goes through the drawers for a long time, goes through old newspaper, takes some, also takes scissors, a sheet of printer paper and starts to cut something out. 

After a few minutes, he has a crooked inscription made of different-sized letters  cut from newspaper headlines, which says: «I know what you did».