#i'm talking about literally any show i have watched less than 3 minutes watching | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

highfantasy-soul · 7 months

Text

Ok, here's my breakdown of Jessie Gender's video on NATLA. I decided not to post this as a comment on the video because I just don't feel like it would be productive, but I needed to refute the points she was making as she's a quite respected (at least, I really respect her opinions on things) video essayist and I felt like this video was...wild.

So, I guess it's best to just watch along with her video and read my commentary side-by-side because I don't give much context for my points, this is just a stream-of-consciousness style response.

To be perfectly clear - this is not intended to be a 'hate post' about her, this is just me feeling very strongly that the interpretations of things she had in her video needed to be talked about and another perspective given.

I shift from saying 'you' to 'Jessie' like halfway through (when I decided not to post this as a comment) but I don't feel like going through and changing all those, so yeah, just ignore it.

1) you insulted a martial arts kata as 'a mildly choreographed dance' - it shows a complete lack of understanding of other cultures and a desire to take a quick dig at something you didn't like in a way that insults a cultural practice. I really didn't expect to hear that sort of comment from you so it was pretty jarring when you said it. Ironically, you say that Sokka was wrong to assume the Kyoshi warrior's kata was a 'dance' because that's 'a girl's place' when...you literally made the same insult with not a hint of recognition just a few minutes earlier about a movie you didn't like…

2) I felt that the live-action really deepened a lot of the themes from the OG - take Iroh's storyline for example, fleshing out Suki's character so she's...you know, her own character and not just there to teach Sokka a lesson, and delving into how hard of decisions you have to make during a century long war. Idk, I'm just really curious as to how you felt quite literally the polar opposite of me

3) Sokka's sexism: the animated show handled it one way, but Sokka's treating women as 'less than' wasn't a core part of his character - in all honesty, it doesn't actually make any sense as he was raised by Hakoda (who we never see being sexist), Gran Gran (who left the NWT due to its sexism), and was surrounded mostly by older women. The sexism storyline in the cartoon was to teach a very blatant lesson to kids "don't be sexist, boys!" while the live-action made Sokka's struggles much more realistic and in line with the world building: he struggled with non-traditional masculinity and if he was 'allowed' to be that way while they were at war. For me, it's a much more important message for young men today than the very dated 'women can fight, too!' message that was needed in the early 2000s. It's very odd to me how you claim that Sokka always taking charge isn't ever challenged when...in literally the scene you're showing when you say that, Katara challenges him.

4) I'm sorry, but I cannot possibly see how Suki is her own person more in the animated version than in the live-action. She was literally created solely to teach Sokka a lesson and have no character traits other than 'I'm a strong woman warrior' where 'woman' means 'I like romance' rather than...I'm a whole person with my own wants and desires and fears that have nothing to do with a love interest as is shown in the live-action. You keep comparing the animated and live action as though they were trying to tell the same story about Sokka's journey with his role in the world, but they weren't. Of course Suki's attitude toward him is going to be different, of course he's not going to need to tell her 'you're right, I'm a dumb, terrible man, pretty please could you teach me', because it's a different dynamic they're going for in the live-action.

5) When Sokka pinned her in their lesson in the live-action idk how you got that she was 'demuring herself' to Sokka? Just as in the cartoon, he managed to get the upper hand - which she promptly took back, teaching a lesson along the way. She didn't make herself less so Sokka could feel secure in his masculinity - it's a bit odd you feel that showing respect to someone and helping them learn is 'demuring yourself'. I much prefer them respecting each other than the animated version of them seeing each other as less than and then...her giving him a kiss to prove 'see, I'm a romance-loving girl, too'.

5) To me, Suki beating Sokka in the live-action when the first sparred wasn't her being mean, it was her not understanding how much less experience Sokka had fighting - she genuinely thought he would be able to hold his own against her because he had told her he was the best warrior in his tribe. Her face clearly shows 'I have no idea what I did wrong - I thought that type of sparring is what everyone did for fun, why was he uncomfortable with it?' Not really sure why you made the connection that us seeing Sokka's abs was meant to indicate that his insecurities are unfounded when...literally the whole season shows us that Sokka's struggles aren't "end goal = big strong warrior" but rather "you don't have to be a big strong warrior to help, you are allowed to delve into other aspects of who you are and those are just as important". Just because he has muscles, also doesn't mean he's a competent fighter - those two things aren't the same.

6) It feels like you took certain scenes and made wildly left-field interpretations of them and then claimed that that's what the show was intending you to take from it. It's like saying that the scene that cuts from Sokka saying he bets Momo tastes like chicken and cutting to the scene that shows people cooking meat actually means the showrunners are saying Sokka is going to cook and eat Momo this season and that will then give him the powers of the Avatar. It's very clearly not what the showrunners were saying, but if you interpret it in the least forgiving way and then make a wild leap off that, then yeah, you might get upset with that made-up interpretation. Same with the reasons they didn't put Sokka in the Kyoshi outfit - there is 0 evidence of them nixing that part due to transphobia. I didn't see it as any malicious intent, just a streamline of the plot so Sokka doesn't have to go change before running away on Appa.

7) I feel that the live-action DOES challenge the Fire Bender's colonialist rhetoric in the Kyoshi Island episode, but the animated...doesn't? At all? It's solely about girl power - and as we see with Azula and all the women fire nation soldiers, the fire nation doesn't seem too caught up in sexism. You know what they are caught up in? Which you mention? Bender supremacy. And that's what the live-action directly addresses with Sokka being so surprised that Suki is able to hold her own so well even though she isn't a bender. He's seen just how powerful benders are (they destroyed his home, killed his mom, and beat his ass last episode) and it's in line with the worldbuilding that he feels like he's already several steps behind in being a good enough warrior because he doesn't have bending (a storyline that isn't brought up until an episode in season 3 of the animated show). To me, the live-action Kyoshi storyline refutes the Fire Nation's imperialistic themes much better than the animated show does.

8) The live-action's lesson wasn't that might makes right - Suki never did any strength training exercises with Sokka, she taught him how to control his body and use his opponent's strength against them. Fight smarter, not harder. Know what you're fighting for, not just that you want to fight. Even if you don't have the resources of your opponent, it doesn't mean you're doomed from the start. That last one is particularly poignant when we look at how much stronger the Fire Nation is than the other nations they're subjugating: it's the classic 'oppressed rising up against their oppressors and not winning because they just punched harder, but because they used what they had to fight for a righteous cause and didn't just give up because the other side was more powerful'. That's quite directly what the live-action was saying - the exact lesson you thought it should be saying. You have to do some serious extrapolating from the animated episode to get to those themes while the live-action drew that concept up to the forefront immediately.

9) Aang's journey to accept his Avatar responsibility and the previous Avatar's enforcing this is directly from the animated series. Like, directly. It's not the live-action show saying 'colonialism good'. Showing the Avatar power wasn't the showrunners saying 'see, this OP is good and cool', it was to show the magnitude of it - something the animated show does too. The live-action does talk about how terrifying and damaging that power is - literally the previous episode has Aang almost toss Katara and Sokka off the mountain and they mention it. Just earlier in that episode, Sokka talks about Aang almost killing them and Aangs major hang up about embracing it is that he might hurt someone. Kyoshi argues that not learning to control it will hurt more people and - y'all, individuals are allowed to have their own views of the power that everyone doesn't have to agree with. What happened to 'make strong characters with flaws in their world view?' did you all of a sudden decide that's NOT actually good writing? So having the Avatar who used her powers liberally, and as the video states, used them maybe too much, telling Aang that he needs to use his own powers a lot is…consistent characterization? Which is then challenged by Roku later as he tells Aang that all the Avatars are different and have different views on the power of the Avatar. Why is Kyoshi's opinions suddenly taken as wholly accurate in representing what the show overall is trying to say? She's giving her opinion to Aang - an opinion that has some truth to it, but also some flaws that Aang will need to navigate on his own journey. Kyoshi and Roku's stories are not compressed all into Kyoshi - only the aspect of Roku taking control of Aang and using his body to fuck shit up in the Avatar state is compressed - not the ideological aspects of it

10) Sokka supporting Katara's fight against Pakku is a culmination of his arc to let go of obsessively protecting her and actually letting her decide her course of action herself - because his arc was different in the show than in the animated series. Trying to say that the reason he told her to kick Pakku's ass didn't fit because he was never sexist wasn't the reason - it WAS a culmination of his arc, you just refused to see it by clinging to the old one.

11) The whole argument as to 'why show genocide' I already made a post about, but to condemn the depiction based on the way you interpret the showrunner's quote is disingenuous. Again, it's taking something and making up a narrative around it so you can feel justified in hating it. It's important to show a culture before they are killed because they deserve to be seen as people, not just martyrs. They had lives. They lived and were happy and had a rich culture. They were not just 'fated to die and be told of in history books'. Genocide is disgusting and hard to watch - it's calculated and brutal. Showing that drives home just how awful the actions of the fire nation are in practice rather than just theory. Yes, the airbenders fighting was 'cool' to see - in the way that all action is 'cool' to see. But no, the genocide wasn't played as 'look at neat fighting!' in the live-action. It was shown as brutal and terrible, horrifying and surprising, and the airbenders didn't deserve what happened to them. It also gives you a direct view of what the fire nation is capable of when they come to the south pole and the northern water tribe: you've SEEN the devastation first hand and you DON'T want to see it again. The threat isn't theoretical, it's very real.

11.5) To take a CHILD'S quote about the sequence being 'so cool' is absolutely WILD to me. GORDON IS A CHILD! No, he's not going to have the most sophisticated and politically nuanced sound bite to say about the action sequence in an interview. HE'S A CHILD! Holy mother of god. To use that to bolster your point that 'that's the way it was intended to be viewed and how everyone is going to view it!' is just…..holy shit. You're taking media interpretation from A CHILD??????? Do you think, if we interviewed a child about the OG show, they'd talk about the fucking colonialism??? How Azula was abused too and didn't deserve her fate?? Or do you think they'd say "The fight between the Fire Lord and Aang at the end was so cool!" Honestly thought Jessie Gender wouldn't try to bolster her interpretation with a quote from A CHILD, but I guess here we are…

12) It's wild that she makes the point that conservatives are incapable of reading deeper than just the surface-level visuals of a story while…she's doing literally the same thing just in the opposite way. The live-action depicted the genocide, therefore they MUST just want to 'cool' visual of firebenders fighting airbenders! There can't be any other things at play here! No story being told whatsoever because all it is is spectacle! That's all I see! Ironically, she's falling into the same trap of not looking deeper at why one might depict the horrors of genocide and the battle against people with no army.

13) Aang actually treats the genocide as more immediate in the live-action than he does the animated show. Most animated episodes, you can forget that it even happened, while in the animated show, it pops up a lot in some unexpected ways like when he's uncomfortable waterbending because Gyatzo had always been his teacher, when he yells at Bumi for making light of the genocide, his desire to get to the north to keep it from happening again, when Zhao proclaims that he can wipe out an entire race of benders and Aang says he knows exactly what that's like, when he constantly stays to help people because 'I couldn’t help my own people, but I can help them'. Not only through Aang, but also through every child in the series - like with the animated show, the live-action shows how kids are shaped by the generational trauma of the war plus the immediate effects of it: Teo ready to fight, Jet making compromises to fight back, Sokka shouldering too much responsibility so young, Katara's trauma around her mother's death and her waterbending, Bumi losing his faith, Zuko and Azula being shaped by their father to be the perfect weapons to continue the war.

14) Interpreting Zuko's comment of 'sometimes the weak can become strong' right after his father mutilated him for showing compassion is not meant to be taken as a thesis that 'Zuko just needs to get better at fighting, this is what the story is saying, I am very smart'. It's showing HIS CURRENT view of the world - the idea that his father has taught him that he needs to be strong and Zuko has bought that and wants desperately to earn his father's love. Zuko's story through the series is showing that 'strength' isn't what his father defines it as (or what Jessie defines it as in her video) but rather it's strength of character - compassion is not weakness, it's strength, and no, that doesn't mean if you have compassion you punch harder.

15) The live-action show makes the Fire Nation MUCH more nuanced than the animated show - we see how Ozai and Azula aren't just maniacal villains, but we see the pain and torment their upbringings deal out to them, and in turn, deal to others. It shows the cycle much more clearly and showing fire nation citizens who disagree fleshes out the culture even more.

16) Jet was much more nuanced in the live-action as he's RIGHT about the mechanist being a spy and the king being lax in his duties. He's created a community of people to try to heal from the harm the fire nation has caused them and he gives actual good advice to Katara, helping her emotionally heal and remember the good aspects of her mother.

17) The argument that 'the live action is trying to ignore the past' is a massively simplified narrative. The live-action is showing Aang stuck in the past, unable to take large steps into the future. Pain, trauma and loss can anchor us in the past - it's HEALTHY to keep moving forward rather than only thinking about the pain in the past (ie Jet's advice to Katara). Aang was continually trying to avoid the genocide happening again while simultaneously trying to get past Avatars to do the big hard work for him. His lesson is not to 'forget the past just live in the now' but rather, don't let fear of what has happened in the past stop you from making a difference in the future. Yes, war is loss and suffering, but if you get paralyzed by not being able to prevent that, the fire nation will just keep marching across the world. It's about not letting the past immobilize you to the point where you stop fighting back against oppression - or getting together with a community to help you fight for fear they'll die just like those in the past did.

17.5) Letting go of the past is a buddhist philosophy that is a lot more complicated than Jessie is making it out to be here. Just as in the animated series, characters can come to realizations about lessons they need to learn while still taking seasons to fully learn the lesson - just because Aang said he's ready to let go of the past doesn't mean he's now ignoring it and all will be smooth sailing. It means he's ready to start taking steps to do that and approach life in a healthier way. It's wild that Jessie took the direct quote "I need to let go of the past to focus on my future" and then states that the show is saying "the character's aren't seeing future possibilities and hope, they're focused on the now" when, quite literally, the quote she just referenced….is talking about building a better future.

18) Then, she references later seasons (Aang in the fire nation school) a lot to indicate that the live-action is ignoring those concepts from the OG when….we're talking about season 1 here - not season 3. Why is the world not allowed to organically grow? Why would you make the argument that 'season 1 didn’t explicitly deal with these concepts that aren't brought up until season 3, so therefore they are ignoring them'?

19) Jessie uses a lot of clips from a Daily Wire (conservative talkshow) guy as if that has anything at all to do with the live-action ATLA. She's trying to draw a line between that ideology and the ideology of the show and I feel like she had to bastardize the NATLA show in order to do that so horribly, her interpretation of the story and themes is completely unrecognizable to what is actually shown on screen.

I usually agree with her takes on media, but this video was not it. Every interpretation she had, I interpreted the scenes/lessons in the exact opposite way and, I believe, I interpreted it closer to what the showrunners intended.

Oh no, i just had a thought: this is The Last Jedi all over again! I saw so many negative interpretations of that movie that I just sat and scratched my head over like "How in the WORLD did you get to that conclusion??" when I thought my own interpretation was just...the obvious way to view the movie. I had no idea my views on it would be so controversial. Here we are again. Time is a flat circle. Life is a meaningless cycle of disappointment and confusion, neverending.

#natla #natla positivity #netflix avatar #netflix atla #this isn't intended as hate to Jessie Gender - only a response to her publicly posted video

49 notes · View notes

pinksmonkey · 2 months

Text

The Ultimate Byler Evidence/Analysis List (Part 2)

If you missed part 1, here it is: Part 1

100. They Are In Love

101. Songs Associated With Mike And Will

102. We've Seen This Plot Too Many Times

103. Byler Isn't Far-Fetched

104. Byler Endgame Makes So Much Sense

105. Pocketgate

106. Hosegate

107. Love This Detail

108. Phallic Imagery In Season 4

109. I Didn't Notice The Queercoding

110. So Unserious

111. It's Supposed To Be About Love

112. How You Doing?

113. Mike Is Not Into Girls

114. Mike And Lucas Parallel

115. Not Love At First Sight

116. Mike Is Protective Of Will

117. To Illustrate How Weird This Shot Is

118. Yeah, Imagine

119. Still Dizzy

120. The Biggest Byler Proof For Me

121. These Scenes Happened Less Than 5 Minutes Apart

122. Mike Is More Attentive To Will Than Any Other Character

123. Oh, Love At First Sight

124. They Said I Love You

125. Byler And Heartstopper Parallels

126. I've Been Chasing After Some Other Kid

127. Jancy And Byler

128. Mike Feels Like He's Not Worthy In His Relationship

129. Why So Many People Complain About Mike's Character

130. That Boy Is In Love

131. Mike's Attention To Will And El

132. Mike's Self Acceptance

133. Mike's Playlist Is 10x Gayer Than Will's

134. No Homo Though

135. This Masterpiece

136. Mike's Guilt

137. El's Superhero Identity

138. It's Time To Switch Things Up

139. Why Byler If No Byler?

140. Mike's Playlist In A Bisexual Interpretation

141. Will's Playlist Analysis

142. Mike's Love Drives The Story

143. Will Deserves Love

144. From Anti-Byler To Pro-Byler

145. Mike And Locker Rooms/Bathrooms

146. Genuine Question About The Cabin Scene

147. Mike Literally Blinded Himself

148. It's Not Even Subtle

149. The Best Thing I've Ever Done

150. Will Deserves Better?

151. Will's Feelings For Mike Are Crucial To The Plot

152. Will's Love Is Beautiful

153. It's A Pattern

154. Mike Is Deliberately Queercoded

155. We're Friends

156. The Writers And Their Sense Of Humor

157. They Still Don't Understand Personal Space

158. There's No Point To The California Storyline If Not Byler

159. Let's Start A New Party, You And Me

160. Mike's Insecurities

161. They Told Us Exactly What's Going On With Mike

162. Find Someone Who Looks At You Like This

163. Heartstopper Parallel

164. Lettergate, Younger Mike To Older Mike

165. Everyone Is Disappointed

166. I've Been So Lost Without You

167. Mike's Gayest Scene

168. Reactions To Hugs And Kisses

169. No Platonic Explanation

170. They Have To Be Joking

171. Lighting Analysis

172. Hidden Expressions

173. The Papa Script

174. Refuting Anti-Byler Points

175. El Likes The Idea Of A Boyfriend

176. Are We Watching The Same Show?

177. I'm Not The Only One In Love With My Best Friend

178. Mike Is So Hopeless

179. Will You Be Like My Brother?

180. Bedroom Decor

181. Will Doesn't Want "Better"

182. Best Friends

183. The Truth About Hosegate and Lover's Lake

185. The Culture of Bylerism

184. Talking About Fictional Teens and Sexuality

186. Mike's Sexuality Is Tied To The Narrative

187. Not Production Errors

188. Good Writing And Bad Writing

189. Shared Shoes And More

190. Smalltown Boy Coded

191. Trying To Act Normal

192. It's Called Foreshadowing

193. More To Their Relationship Than Friendship

194. Refuse To Believe This Was Unintentional

195. There Has To Be An Important Reason

196. Byler Rain Fight Vs Mileven Breakup

197. The Eyewitness And Dawson's Creek Parallels, Too Gay To Be Straight

And unfortunately Tumblr will only let me add 100 links per post, so when I've posted part 3 of this list, I'll link it here: Part 3

19 notes · View notes

amhrosina · 2 years

Text

MCU Men Raising an Infant With You (Pregnancy Headcanons//Pt.4)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST FORM

Requests are open!

A/N: This is part 4/5 of the pregnancy headcanons that were requested a while back! I have one more part planned covering the men raising a toddler/young kids, etc. Basically, it's going to be domestic bliss! Also, currently getting ready to watch game 6 of the world series, and as a life-long Astro's fan, I'm asking for prayers that we win tonight! Send one up for Altuve, y'all. That man is my baby daddy fr.

Link to Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Frank Castle:

When you wake up in the middle of the night in pain and clutch Frank’s shoulder, he’s up and moving before you can blink.

He had packed a “go bag” a few weeks prior, just in case the baby came early.

You waddle to the door, clutching Frank’s shoulder as another contraction hits you.

As Frank drives you to the hospital, the concern on his face grows as your contractions get closer and closer together. He knows every woman’s birth is different, but yours seems a little too fast to be safe.

He doesn’t mention any of this to you because he doesn’t want to scare you.

As soon as your doctor sees you, she rushes you into the delivery room, Frank hot on her tail.

Frank holds your hand throughout the process, not even blinking when you squeeze his hand hard enough to break it.

He mumbles encouraging words in your ear as you breathe through the pain.

Your labor ended up being less than 90 minutes long, the fastest birth Frank had ever witnessed, and your baby girl was deemed healthy and so cute.

Frank tears up when he finally gets to hold her, rocking her gently and cooing.

Frank swears she looks just like you but you definitely see some Frank in her.

“What should we name her?” You ask, content to watch Frank in this moment forever.

“Anything you want, baby.”

“Lucia Maria Castle? We could call her Lucy.”

“That’s perfect. You’re both perfect.”

When you finally get to bring the baby home, Frank takes a solid 15 minutes to climb the two flights of stairs to your apartment with Lucia in her baby carrier.

Frank holds her like she’s the most precious thing in the world (she is).

Frank has to remind himself that this is your first baby, so he takes things slow and explains things to you patiently, but only if you ask! No mansplaining in this house!

When Lucia wakes up hungry in the middle of the night, Frank insists on being the one to go get her and bring her to you. He doesn’t want you to strain yourself too much while you heal.

He stays up with you, running his fingers through your hair while the baby’s being fed.

If you ever mention something about your post-baby body in a negative way, Frank shuts that down real quick.

“You created a life, and you looked beautiful doing it. You’re always beautiful, sweetheart. Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

Sometimes he’ll play the guitar while you hold her to help her fall asleep.

Even though you’re both sleep deprived and exhausted, he always makes sure to show you love and affection throughout the day and night, especially once the doctor gives you the okay to make more babies.

He’ll hug you from behind while you’re cooking or kiss your forehead as he walks by you in the hallway.

Frank is a literal sweetheart of a dad to Lucia, and you very nearly cry every time you see him interacting with her.

His big ass hands holding such a tiny little baby I can’t take it anymore someone give Frank a baby NEOWWWWW

One night, after rocking Lucia to sleep, you tell Frank you want another one once Lucia gets a little older. Frank is all too happy to take you up on that offer.

Matt Murdock:

Watch me make shit up about Matt’s hearing abilities

A few days before your due date, you’re reading to Matt when he visibly stiffens and sits straight up, looking at you with concern.

You have no idea what's going on, but Matt rushes to the bedroom to grab the bag of stuff you had packed for the arrival of the twins. You can hear him calling Foggy in the other room.

“Matt, is everything okay?”

“Labor. Twins. I can hear it. We gotta go.”

You didn’t fully understand how Matt’s abilities worked, but you trusted him enough to push yourself out of your chair and waddle towards the front door.

Foggy showed up so fast you were half convinced he had been sleeping in his car waiting for Matt’s phone call.

You didn’t grasp the situation until you were walking into the ER entrance at the hospital and a sharp pain ran through your stomach.

The labor delivery nurses said it was ‘such a weird coincidence’ that you happened to be walking into the ER while you went into labor. Matt smiles politely as they complement how well you knew your own body.

The birth is rough – you clench Matt’s hands, Matt prays under his breath, you push not one but two babies out of you.

The twins are born 8 minutes apart, happy and as healthy as can be.

Matt’s in utter shock for a few minutes, completely overwhelmed with emotions as he holds the twins for the first time.

You and Matt had decided on names for the twins weeks ago but saying them out loud for the first time turns Matt into a blubbering mess: Elias Nelson Murdock and Rosalie Blaire Murdock.

When you introduce Foggy to Elias and reveal his middle name, Foggy also turns into a blubbering mess.

When you bring the twins home, you can tell Matt is anxious, but trying his best to help you in any way he can.

Being that he has such keen hearing, he’s a master at rocking the babies to sleep. He’s also in tune to their breathing, so when they inevitably wake up in the middle of the night, he’s usually already halfway to the nursery.

One night, after putting the babies to sleep, Matt asks you to describe what they look like to him. He has his own picture, and he’s able to feel their faces to fill in the gaps, but he wants to know how you see them.

“They’re perfect, Matty. They have your strong nose and your beautiful eyes. They look like little versions of you.”

Matt wraps you in his arms and leaves kisses all over your face and neck, whispering how much he loves you and the family you gave him.

Billy Russo:

Billy is a nervous wreck when you go into labor.

When he’s not holding your hand through a contraction, he’s pacing the hospital room.

When the doctor says there’s a complication, Billy’s face goes white. He grabs your hand and pulls it to his chest, directly over his heart.

The baby is caught up in the umbilical cord, so they’re going to have to perform an emergency c-section.

“I want to be in there with you, but it’s up to you.”

“Of course I want you in there, Billy. You’re his dad. You’re my...baby daddy? Roommate? Boyfriend? What do I call you?”

“Let’s get married.” Billy breathes.

“Oh my god. You would pick right now to propose to me, Billy.”

When they pull the baby out of you, Billy looks like he’s going to pass out. (Did y’all know they have to remove your organs to get the baby out????? Like they fr put your intestines on the table next to you!)

You can’t feel a thing, but when the baby lets out a loud wail, tears begin to pour down your face. Billy rubs your head, kissing the tears as they fall and smiling down at you.

Billy is smitten with the baby as soon as he holds him in his arms.

You both decide to name him Theodore Russo – Theo for short.

The first night you and Billy bring Theo home, Billy sits in the chair next to Theo’s crib all night, watching him sleep.

Billy is a literal super dad to Theo.

He always offers to change Theo’s diapers and will quite literally run to the store to get you anything you need while you recover from the c-section.

He constantly refers to you as his fiancé, even though you technically didn’t say yes when he asked.

You both know that your answer is yes anyways lol.

When Billy has to go back to work, you and Theo end up missing him more than you expected to.

Billy tells you to visit him at work whenever you want, and the first time you and Theo show up, Billy takes you and Theo around and introduces you to everyone (and I mean literally everyone).

He’ll be instructing a team on some kind of military tactic while also holding an infant in one of those fuzzy bear onesies. (im melting someone give ben barnes a CHILD!!!!!)

Bucky Barnes:

When it’s finally time for you to be induced, Bucky is so excited he has to keep himself from jumping up and down.

Due to the high risk of your pregnancy, a c-section ends up being the safest birth plan.

Bucky looks so cute in the blue hair cap and scrub gown.

The birth goes as smoothly as a c-section can go, though Bucky does apologize to you for knocking you up after he sees them cutting into you.

Bucky’s smile is so wide when he finally gets to hold the baby.

You name him Jessie Steven Barnes, after Steve Rogers (because let’s be real, bucky would DEFINITELY name his first born after steve).

You fall in love with Bucky all over again watching him rock the baby to sleep.

“You look so natural like this. As a dad.”

“Wanna know something crazy? I think this is the most terrified I’ve ever been.”

“What do you mean?”

“I met you, and now we have a family, and I feel like this is the first time I’ve ever truly understood what peace feels like. It’s scary, because it’s new. I’m excited too, though. For this life with you.”

You and Bucky constantly argue over whose turn it is to hold the baby.

Bucky warming up his metal arm before picking up Jessie so he doesn’t get too cold.

Jessie ends up having the same icy blue eyes that Bucky does, which is aggravating, because you know he’ll be able to get away with anything by just batting his pretty little eyes at you.

Bucky and you haven’t talked about having more kids together, but you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t like the idea of another high-risk pregnancy for you. If anything, surrogacy would be the route of choice.

When you ask Bucky about it, he tells you that he’s happy no matter what you choose to do. More kids or not, he’ll be happy with the life he gets to live with you.

Peter Parker (Tom Holland):

Peter is already an anxious son of a bitch, so when I tell you this man is ANXIOUS AS HELL when you go into labor, I'm not exaggerating.

Peter is one of those people that rambles when they’re nervous, so he pretty much doesn’t stop talking until you cover his mouth with your hand and tell him to breathe.

The irony of you telling him to breathe while you’re literally the one having contractions is not lost on either of you, and you both giggle about it.

He’s a doll during the birth – pushing your hair out of your face, holding your hand, telling you how good you’re doing.

You’re both anxious to find out the gender of the baby, so when the doctor announces that it’s a girl, both of you are overwhelmed with emotions.

“Have you decided what you’re going to name her?” The doctor asks, handing you the baby.

“May Parker.”

Peter is a puddle of tears in this moment don’t even get me started.

"Who do you think she looks like more?"

"I can't tell. She sort of looks like an alien right now."

"So definitely you then?"

Having a boyfriend with spider-like powers ends up being so helpful while taking care of an infant.

Peter doesn’t have to worry about forgetting to grab anything when he’s changing May because he can just grab whatever it is with his webs lol.

May loves to take naps on a little web cradle Peter designed and has to remake every few hours.

It may all seem like sunshine and rainbows, but it’s just as hard as you thought it would be.

Whenever you and Peter think you have extra money, something comes up for May.

Neither of you complain about it, because May is this beautiful little human that you both created and love, but it would be nice if Spider-Man was a paid gig.

Even when both of you come home from work exhausted, you’re both so excited to be parents that you don’t let it affect how you interact with May.

You spend your nights cuddled into Peter’ side, forever grateful for the strange and unconventional family you have.

End Note: I hope you enjoyed this! I tried not to overlap any of the headcanons, but we all know these men are freaking sweethearts and would LOVE a baby so much. If you want to be added to the tag list for the 5th and final part, you can fill out this form!

Tag List:

@purple-amaranthe @raajali3 @kokoterainonago666 @minervadashwood @emiemiemiii @h4rrys @mylifeispainandiloveit @alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv

(Also tagging the people who asked for specific character tags below!)

@xleiaorgana @mukbee @dilfs5678 @blackwidownat2814 @mymamalife @messymissy @soft-emo-enby @brookiecookiez0 @raajali3

788 notes · View notes

itrithenbartist · 11 months

Note

I love you headcanons for sunny day jack. I was wondering if you have headcanons for Joseph Cullman too? You don't have to if you don't want to, but thanks for reading this!

yesssssss i would absolutely love to do this. sorry it took a second, i'm recovering atp. but yea!!

THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI OR YOU'LL BE BLOCKED AND ANY AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED TOO

with that out of the way, enjoy <3 gn as possible

-Joseph.......loves praising mc???? but like also in a degrading way than the way jack would. think more towards 'you're such a good sl*t' etc etc

-loves public s*x...there's no way you can look at the man and say he doesn't. of course doesn't want to get into trouble with the law or terrify children, but think of it as a game. see how many times mc can nut on his fingers. before the two of them have to finish this...elsewhere

-loves to tease, doesn't matter about what, just to see mc flush and try to hide is just so appealing to him. even more so when they're going at it in the bedroom and watching mc fall apart with his c*ck and his voice??? mmmm he'll take that everyday

-loves pet names. mc calls him something like "my love" or "baby" or "honey" don't ask him why his first response is to get excited...he's such a lonely man.

-if you want to try things in the bedroom? he doesn't care. mc wants to call him different names/titles? 100% is on board. when him and mc figure out the best title? oh man he's gonna use it against mc everrrrrryday.

-just like last post, he's absolutely for sloppy toppy. he can't get enough of it. tho it's more like an appetizer than like him actually wanting to finish, mc other holes are his main dish he wants in all the time.

-instead of praising when mc tops? filthy talker. goading mc to go harder/faster with whatever equipment they got (bought or organic is fine, he's not picky). even will ride mc to get the results he wants. he's not no pillow princess

-doesn't really sub, more like less domineering than anything else. doesn't mean to? but will laugh in mc's face if they suggest being in charge.

-shouldn't tell him how much you love any part of his body...especially his c*ck....he's gonna be an unstoppable force of nature and it's so sexy scary seeing how he uses this to his advantage

-love's bondage, especiallyyyy on mc. seeing them wrapped in whatever rope/silk? hard, matter of minutes. so turned on

-size different? esp if mc is shorter than him? he's in heaven. he loves that mc gotta crane their neck to him to do anything

softer hc's i think i got all the major k*nks i can think of.

-loves being little spoon. like don't get him wrong he loves dominating mc, and caring........but sometimes he wants to be held??? wouldn't flat out ask for it, but if mc does it on their own? joseph's smitten.

-since he's not rich/doesn't make a lot of money...his idea of love and showing affection is just mostly spending quality time. oh mc gotta do grocery shopping? he's with them. doing basic tasks? follows like a an obedient puppy.

-loves soft touches. when mc just randomly touches him? cups his face? strokes his hair? trace his back? it's a wrap. he's literally gonna be so smitten and soft for mc

-never had someone care about him. so when mc see's he's struggling? and helps give him a 'self care day'? he doesn't know how to react. genuinely stuck between wanting to cry and rejecting the idea of it. fully accepts it after awhile. it's his favorite thing to do with mc

-loves when mc plays with his hair, likes brushing it? and just being so gentle? (actually figuring out that 2-in-1 isn't actually good) and takes the time to let mc take care of his hair. it's so soft and nice now.

-can only cook the essentials...........like eggs and ramen. if mc can cook better than him? well he's been sold for everything else, but this is just a bonus.

-doesn't really speak. genuinely loves hearing mc talk about their day/in general because he thinks their voice is so lovely.

-wants to take care of mc no matter what. mc is the first person to care for him, he wants to make sure they're taken care of.

personally this is a little adhd snippet? i personally hc him that has adhd

-he's weird? he can maintain eye contact, but if you're talking to him, he's walking while listening. so he can actually Listen

-was always shit on for having hyperfixations, esp as a kid...mc makes it safe for him to explore himself and his childhood.

-cannot watch anything without subtitles. it's like...without the subtitles he can't understand shit

-can get really good at something in a matter of days then just dip....because it doesn't stimulate his brain as much as it did

enough adhd content, also it's MY hc because i have audhd, skip over it if you don't want to read it

-joseph loves all shapes mc would be in....just really really loves fat mc. like he loves tummy.

#sunny day jack #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sdj joseph #lemon #citrus #joseph cullman #sunny day jack x reader #sdj joseph x reader

125 notes · View notes

nowoyas · 1 year

Text

Edible Arrangements 39

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Read on Ao3

A/N: howdy folks and strokes it took literally all my strength not to post this chapter early yeehaw

if you're interested in a spicy little oneshot, please direct your attention over to Legs Spreadable Arrangements for all your smutty spinoff chapter needs!

please note that this chapter is more than twice the length of recent chapters before settling in to read. please enjoy with responsibility to your sleep schedule! <3

Summary: You're making amazing strides. So is the hunt.

Warnings: oh man haha let's think uhh some talk of death, food mentions including some gross shit, mind fuckery things, implied parental abuse

Word count: 5000+

The students in the day ahead of him are fresh-faced, not yet tainted by the drag of the semester ahead of them. [name] sits at the farthest seat in the back of the room, Ochako sitting with two seats of space between them. Ochako is flashing sweet, pleasant smiles at the other students as they enter. Like this, Izuku almost forgets that Ochako is their aide, here to get them through this class. He wishes he had that privilege. Every time he thinks he can handle this, surreptitiously glancing up from papers to scan the room, he sees their face and feels his heart shatter into powder.

Already his regrets have dragged on for a month. They were, by everyone's judgment, prepared for this, and yet, he doesn't feel like it now. He's not prepared for it, either.

He inhales. Exhales. Checks his watch. Twenty-five students in the course, twenty-one bodies in the room, one of them extra seeing as Ochako isn't technically on the roster. He’d had to remember to add her to the list so no one notices when he calls roll that she's not on it.

Class start time in two minutes. Five no-shows, but they still have time.

He hates this. He hates teaching in-person classes. He hates the moments before the class starts, casing the students out for who he can rely on, who may need to rely on him. Connections to make, or, more likely, to inevitably fall apart as his words tumble, rather than slip, from his mouth.

Class start time in one minute. Two stragglers, running into the room last-minute and skidding into seats at the back, filling the spots between Ochako and [name].

Oh. That won't be good.

They cast a panicked glance Ochako's way, but neither of the two appear to say anything.

Why did they sit apart to begin with? Is [name] less comfortable with being around people now? Is that enough to leave the risk that two stragglers—that he's now growing increasingly angry with—would fill the seats between them?

Class start time is now.

He stands up, clears his throat. Waits for the few surprised looks that are inevitable when he says he's Dr. Midoriya, the professor, and not a TA or a student making a power play.

He's somewhere over fifty years old, thank you very much. How old? Hell if he knows.

So he squares his shoulders, reaches for his list.

"A-alright, I think that's everyone who's showing up, so without waiting any further, hello everyone! I-I'm Dr. Midoriya, I took over this course from Dr. Hakamada in light of his... untimely circumstances." His eyes come to rest on [name], staring blank at their desk. He hesitates. "I know things aren't—things aren't what everyone expected right now, but I expect that all of you will be able to make it through this course if you're willing to keep working and come to me if you have any issues! Before we get into the syllabus for this course, I'm going to give us all a chance to, uh, to break the ice."

Some attentive stares. Some blank. The expected anguished looks from students who don't want to speak up for any reason, let alone to introduce themselves.

"Now, I know some of us are more socially-inclined than others, so I'll let all of you take this at your own pace. Feel free to decide the order you go in, but let's all take a moment to introduce ourselves. How about... name, major, year, and a fun fact about you? I-I'll start!"

Dammit. Stop stuttering.

"My name is Dr. Izuku Midoriya, I teach in several different areas, but specialize in Quirk Theory. A fun fact about me is that, judging by the way most of you assumed I was a TA or another student, I actually have the worst babyface on the planet!"

A few students let out polite laughs. He gives them nods of appreciation in reply.

"Wait, so how old are you?" a girl in the front row asks. She has her chin resting in her hand. "No offense, Professor, but you look younger than nearly everyone in this room."

He laughs at that. It's becoming easier, so long as he doesn't look at [name] in the back. So long as he doesn't acknowledge the heartbreak in the room. "I stopped counting after I hit my fifties."

"Oh, there is no way you're actually in your fifties."

He smiles, nods to her. "Alright then, it sounds like you're volunteering to go next!"

She rolls her eyes with a smile. "I guess I am." She rattles off her introduction—well-practiced, as many are, after several years of several classes all requiring her to rattle off the very same information. Quick, dirty, easy.

He checks off her name and scans the room for the next volunteer.

And his eyes land on [name].

Staring right at him.

With that very same look that tells him they're confused and definitely caught information with their quirk that he didn't think about communicating to them.

He chooses the next lazily raised hand and tries to brush it off as they tap something on their phone—not too discreet, [name], but he'll let it slide—and Ochako reaches for hers moments later.

Oh, to know what information they were exchanging now.

"Good to have you!" he says and checks off the next name to introduce themselves, searches for his next victim. "Next, how about..."

He pauses, tries not to freeze.

"You, in the back."

"[full name]. I'm told I'm in my senior year, and I'm a quirk theory major." A pause. "I like to read, and I don't like to talk."

He laughs softly, more dumbfounded than anything. "Same here. You'll be happy to know that I offer options to turn in papers instead of present in front of the class for every relevant assignment, and that goes for all of you. Now, who's next?"

He eases into it. Tries not to bubble over with relief and maybe excitement at seeing [name] make such a stride in his class. Gets through the icebreakers, goes over the syllabus in detail. He even manages to completely stop stuttering by the end. It's never been about the actually teaching the class, anyway, just the anticipation of where it could go wrong in the moments leading up. And nothing goes wrong!

At least, not until the end of class. He watches his students filter out, watches [name] and Ochako wait. Ochako appears to be chatting with them, ostensibly to make it less obvious that they're waiting to talk to him. He goes through the motions, answers the questions of a stray student, and watches as the pair approach him from the back of the room.

"[name], you did great!" he gushes when he's sure the others have left the room. "I'm glad to see you making an effort to speak up!"

They give a little half-shrug, favoring their unstabbed arm. "I had to ask Ochako what year I was in. I didn't remember."

"Well, that's understandable. I forget my own age, after all!"

Ochako pulls a tight smile. He has the sense that she does a lot of customer-service smiling around him. "[name] had something to ask you?"

They blink in confusion, tilting their head at Ochako. "I thought you did?"

"No, remember? You texted and asked what year you were in, then asked if we could stop after class to ask Dr. Midoriya a question."

She holds up her phone, shows [name] the texts.

"Oh," they say after a moment. "I don't remember, so it probably wasn't important. Sorry."

Oh. He knows what that’s about, doesn’t he?

The look on their face as he joked about his age. The way they can’t process it now.

Another wrench of guilt. He smiles anyway. “Well, if you do remember, you know how to find me! Good work today, both of you.”

A flash of pink at the door. Mina is there, arms crossed, glaring him down while waiting for her friend. When Ochako and [name] leave, Mina lingers a moment longer, just glaring.

He shrugs it off and packs up his things. Class is over. He can handle the rest. Not without issue, of course. The issue was always him.

Besides, soon enough, this will be over. He’s gotten his affairs in order. [name] may never understand it, but they’ll understand the money, the house. They’ll understand Sbeve. If they’re smart—and he knows they are—they can live the rest of their normal life on his dime and never know why. He doesn’t need forgiveness. It won’t do him any good where he’s going.

[name] sits on the edge of the couch, listless as the others chat over pizza. In total, there’s five people in the living room, aside from [name]. Whatever they’re talking about, [name] hasn’t been listening, and they’re still not listening when a plate with a slice of pizza is balanced atop their knee.

They eat, mindless.

“[name], honey, are you listening?” Mina elbows their side gently. “Do you remember Tenya? We’re really worried about him right now.”

A flash of recognition. It fades away, slips away from their mind in real time.

“Is Tenya important?”

They don’t miss the looks of pity they receive, though they don’t understand why they receive them. As their attention falls back away, the others turn on to other topics that don’t matter.

None of it does, really.

“Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

“You’re sure of it?” Tenya spurns his pleasantries with little more than a look.

He sits across from Izuku, looking entirely out of place sitting peacefully in Izuku’s admittedly drafty living room. He really should get that door fixed before [name] inherits it.

“Yes. The Death Adder has been staying in the area. It has to be because we’re here, though I’m not sure he knows we’re working together or even know each other.”

“After he attacked [name], I admit that he knows you’re here. You were probably his target that night.”

“I know. But, look. I was reading the paper—“

“Really?” He raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t think anyone still got paper copies in this day and age.”

“I’m fifty years old, so sue me. Anyways!” He lays out the classifieds in front of Tenya, tapping a circled paragraph.

I know where you are, my children. I’d like to see you again someday. DA.

“DA for Death Adder. We’d be his children, in a sick way that makes me even more geared up to do this. But that alone isn’t why I asked you to come here.” He spreads out another paper, this one more recently dated, and taps the circled section on this sheet. “I replied.”

DA - You made me into myself, so many years ago. I’d like to return the favor. If you truly want to see me, you know where to find me. If we meet again, I’ll happily pass on the message you taught me. IM

“That was two days ago. Now, I’ve been getting the paper daily. There was nothing yesterday, but in today’s paper, we have this.”

IM - You will see me again, a week from today. DA.

Tenya looks up from the paper with hardened eyes. “So we have a week.”

“Get your affairs in order, just in case. I’ve already established everything to pass on to [name] once I’m gone. I suggest you figure out where all you have will go.”

Tenya nods. “Do you still have our weapon?”

“[name] secured a bottle of holy water for me, before all this happened. We’ll have to be careful with it, obviously.”

“A week to get my affairs in order and take down a serial killer.”

“No going back?”

“No going back.”

When they open their eyes, it is morning. Normal morning, not some obscenely late-in-the-day morning like the ones they’ve been waking up in. The clock reads 9:09 AM, and because it is a weekend, their alarm has not gone off. They sit up in a haze.

This is their bedroom, but this is not the apartment.

No, wherever they are, it is so familiar and so unfamiliar but it is theirs.

Their phone buzzes. It is atop their eight-drawer, fine-wooded dresser. The piece of furniture is more expensive than anything in the apartment. The sight of the mirror attached to it fills them with a strange dread, but they must answer the phone. It’s important. It isn’t important. It’s so, so unimportant. It is Nothing.

They slide out of bed.

What doesn’t matter is how large the bed is. What doesn’t matter is how empty it felt to sit alone on its edge. What doesn’t matter is that it is not the bed they fell asleep in. What doesn’t matter is the depression beside them, where someone laid not long ago.

Who decides what is important and what is not, except for them? Who decides for them?

Bare feet sink into a plush rug. The sensation is familiar, soothing. Lazy mornings before the world stopped making sense and began making change.

Bare feet pad across the room, to the dresser. The phone has stopped buzzing, but they still know they must reach it.

Was the mirror covered before? They can’t remember, but the sight soothes them. They can’t see themselves. Not now.

Beside the phone is an arrangement of fruit skewers in a vase. The card attached to the vase with a simple green ribbon is blank. Nothing is written there. The fruit is rotten, and its heady, alcoholic scent draws them in even as the scent warns of danger and disgust forgotten. Somewhere behind them.

Behind them.

behind you

They turn. Nothing is behind them. There is Nothing in the bed.

Nothing behind them. What is behind them in life? There cannot ever be nothing, not really, but the past must not have been important, if they lose hold on it so easily.

The past, too, must be Nothing behind them.

The buzzing of their phone, once again, but once they turn, it falls away to Nothing.

There is Nothing covering the mirror now, the sheet Nowhere to be seen.

There is a skewer of rotten fruit held to their lips. When did they pick one up?

Their phone is at their ear. They don’t remember answering it.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” They do not know this voice.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you sure? You’re crying.” They know this voice.

What? No. They can’t be. Why would they be crying?

They put down the phone. The fruit in their mouth squelches as they bite into it, the flesh giving beneath their teeth with the faintest pop. Beyond the skin it is liquid. The flavor is sour and burns their nose as they chew, although there’s no need to do so. Their teeth are sharp, their jaw strong, and the flesh sludge. It leaves them drunk as it melds past their teeth. Although their body protests, they swallow it without a thought and take another bite. It leaves a metallic-tasting burn in its wake.

They look in the mirror, now that they know they can. They shouldn’t be crying. Why would they be crying?

It is now that they realize what is wrong.

The thing about Nothing is that it matters. It matters so, so much. When there is Nothing where there should not be, there is a problem.

They look in the mirror to inspect their tears, and Nothing is there.

When they open their eyes, it is morning. Normal morning, not some obscenely late-in-the-day morning like the ones they’ve been waking up in. The clock reads 10:08 AM, and because it is a weekend, their alarm has not gone off. They sit up in a haze.

This is their bedroom. This is the apartment.

This is familiar, and it is theirs.

The knowledge feels good, that there is something that is theirs and cannot be taken from them for at least the year. They feel good, that they have slept well and made it through a week of classes and classwork and physical therapy and worked hard at getting better. Their memories aren’t returning, but their soul is, and that, in itself, feels good. They don’t remember when last they were truly in their body.

They dreamed, they’re pretty sure. Of what, they’re not sure, but phantom aches linger about their throat in pinpricks and bruises, and when they check their reflection in their bathroom, they find no source.

They think back to last week. They had been rude, hadn’t they? They’d completely ignored those questions about Tenya. Their friends were worried, they think. Their friends have been so good to them, and they were rude. They need to do better.

They pad out of the room in their pajamas, not bothering to change, and find Mina and Tsuyu commiserating over breakfast, scrolling their phones in silence.

“Mina? Tsuyu?”

The girls look up in tandem. “[name]. Sleep okay?”

“I’m sorry about last week. You guys were talking about Tenya. You were worried. What’s wrong with Tenya? Can I help?”

“It’s… a lot.” The girls share a look before Mina continues. “We can get into it, but it’ll take a lot out of you, and we’ll need to invite the others back over. The guys, at least. Itsuka isn’t really involved.”

“I feel good today. I think there’s a lot of me to take.”

“If you’re sure, there’s no backing out, okay?”

“O…kay?”

Tsuyu nods, adjusting her posture to focus on the phone in her hand. “I’ll call the boys.”

Their friends sit around them in a rough imitation of a circle. They are sat in the center, turning their head nervously as the others settle in.

“Tenya can’t come,” Mina sighs, pocketing her phone, “he says he has plans, but at least you guys are here. Neito, did you bring the stuff?”

“Of course I did. We’re really doing this?”

“Look at them. Their eyes are brighter than I’ve seen them in months. I think we can get them.”

“So how are we doing this?”

“We rely on their quirk,” Neito declares. He’s got a box with him. He reaches in, pulls out an old journal that has something scratching on [name]’s memory. “[name]. This belonged to you. Do you remember it?”

They shake their head. “That isn’t mine.”

“Look at it. Tenya was holding onto it for you for all this time. Will you read it?”

“I don’t—I thought this was about Tenya.”

“It is about Tenya,” he says simply, and it isn’t a lie.

They take the journal. They open it to the first page.

In younger, scratchier handwriting than theirs today, the first page details their name, a phone number that was once theirs, and an address they almost remember writing. They trace a fingertip over the letters. They didn’t write them, but it is undeniably their handwriting, so long ago now.

“This isn’t mine.”

“It is.”

“It’s not!”

“[name], listen to me. You used to be in love with Tenya. The two of you dated for years. You lived with him after cutting ties with your parents.”

“No,” you reply firmly. “That didn’t happen. I don’t remember it.”

“You don’t remember anything.”

“You’re just—you’re just saying things, but that didn’t happen. I don’t know Tenya that well.”

“You did. You used to be inseparable. He still hasn’t gotten over what happened to you and your memories.”

“You’re lying.”

“Look at any of us and tell us whether we’re lying.”

You look. You slip away into them again. “Then you’re wrong.”

Tsuyu slides several photos toward them. [name] picks them up blankly.

They were younger, when these photos were taken. They see themselves, leaned against Tenya’s chest, and they don’t remember ever seeing Tenya, but they know it is him, looking at them with soft eyes.

It is you and him.

Your head hurts.

“Can… can we stop this? I don’t wanna help anymore. This doesn’t—this isn’t important.”

“I’m sorry,” Hitoshi says. “We have to keep going.”

“It’s not just that you used to date,” Neito insists. He has produced a folder that they do not recognize, and their head aches sharply. “We want to give you this to read. A few years back, you were attacked just like you were all those weeks ago. Do you remember? Tenya lost his brother, and you changed. Do you recall what happened?”

They don’t open the folder. “Nothing happened. Nothing.”

“You know that isn’t true.”

“If it isn’t, then—“

“It isn’t. Look at them. It’s notes from your therapy sessions with Dr. Fuyumi. Why would you lie to her in therapy, if all of that was untrue?”

They lift their hand, but can’t open the folder. They’re frozen, stuck in the headlights.

“No.”

“No?”

“No!”

The folder is flung, papers fluttering around the room as they bolt for their bedroom. Hitoshi is up and after them, grabbing at them a bit too harshly. “[name]! Didn’t you want to help Tenya?”

“Not anymore!” They bite back. In the next moment, they slip away and stop struggling in his hold.

“Sit back down in the middle of the circle,” he orders, and they obey.

The papers are collected and placed in their lap, roughly back in their same order.

“Speak if you want to. Read the papers you’re holding.”

They tilt their neck downward, eyes roaming over the pages. “These are real?”

“They’re real. We got them from Dr. Fuyumi herself.”

The words ring true. Even without being able to turn to see them, no glow edges at your vision. No evidence of lies.

Your head hurts. Worse and worse it hurts.

The more evidence they pile on, the worse it feels. Unable to look away or run, they whimper out protests. Old texts talking about Tenya. Social media posts long since forgotten, tagging Tenya or talking about a boyfriend or their parents. Another old photo. [name] with a slice of cake, sat next to Tenya.

They—you—keep returning to the notes. “How do you know these notes are real?”

“We stole them from Dr. Fuyumi’s office.”

He isn’t lying.

The words on the page are the truth.

You were attacked by whoever killed Tenya’s brother. Tenya had been acting distant in a way that didn’t seem like grief. You wanted to understand it better and help your boyfriend through a difficult time.

Your boyfriend.

Ex? Boyfriend?

“Hitoshi,” you say, voice hoarse. “Let me go.”

“Are you going to run?”

“No. Let me go.”

He lets you go.

You hunch over, letting the folder and the photos slide off your lap as something strikes. A match against damp sandpaper.

What is he now? Who are you now?

When it comes together at last, the pieces snap into place. You would swear that there was an audible click, or perhaps a cracking like a bone, snapped from crashing your bike into a tree while chasing your dear neighborhood friend.

something is creaking something is bending something is straining under the weight and you cannot understand you will not understand you are not to understand you are to look away you are to forget but you cannot

forget

it is Nothing but the thing about nothing is that Nothing Matters and it is nothing and so it matters

what are you looking away from why are you looking away look at it look at him look at your past look at it look at it LOOK AT IT

…are you looking?

…are you looking.

…do you see it?

they come back to you in fragments. your own wrist, blurry. faint scars there. a soft shade against your skin. a pattern of bite marks.

do you remember who put those there?

it was tenya, wasn’t it? you asked him to. he only fed from you once. something went wrong.

something?

what went wrong?

what’s wrong?

nothing’s wrong.

You’re crying.

The fragments slip from your grasp as you come back into the moment. Mina is holding you as you thrash, holding you as you sob. Your vision is white, and you are screaming, and it is normal, and you are staring at a photo on the floor of you with Tenya and remembering the day it was taken.

He had planned a surprise party for you. It was your first birthday away from your parents. He’d declared it a necessity for a proper birthday party to be held, and so it was, with cake at his parents’ dining room table and all kinds of gifts and an innocuous sheet of paper declaring you officially emancipated from your parents.

The headache is blinding, less so as you latch onto the memory and find more attached.

The fragments come up like a system of roots and fungus, a mycelial network of all the things you’d forgotten you’d forgotten.

Tenya, chasing off bullies for you with nothing but a glare and his size, being an older kid. Tenya, never raising a hand and yet protecting you all the same. Tenya on one side of you, Tensei on the other, explaining in dire words the situation you were in and couldn’t you stay for a while? Tenya’s mother, smiling and nodding and saying she’d speak to their father but they have an extra guest bedroom in the meantime if you’d like to spend the night.

“How long?” You whisper, and it is you, but it is not. All of the things you remember as though they were yesterday, and yet, you cannot find Yesterday among your memories. There is a gap, or more like a ravine, stretching between you. When was Yesterday? Where are You?

“Years.”

“But that isn’t everything, is it? There’s more. More than just that my… boyfriend? Ex? Best friend? Fuck, I don’t know, that he’s a vampire? That vampires exist? The lifetime of tragedy I couldn’t save him from?”

“No. There’s more. It’ll take more pain, but we’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

There isn’t a moment’s hesitation, only a question. “Tenya was never coming for this, was he?”

“No. He doesn’t know we’re doing this, and he’s off doing god knows what.”

“…I don’t know if I want to know what it is I forgot.”

“You do.” Tsuyu’s voice is firm. “You just can’t know you want it.”

“Don’t you want to know why you’ve been so despondent? Don’t you want to remember what you’ve done? The months leading up to your stab wound? Me and Hitoshi?” Neito’s voice is low.

You don’t want to know. You don’t want to know.

You don’t—

“Unlock your phone.”

You listen, though you don’t have to, and wait for further instruction.

“Have you been without your phone at all since you woke up without your memories?”

You shake your head.

“Look back at your old texts. What do you notice?”

You look. There are ones where your eyes glaze over, where you just can’t focus on the words or the photos. They must be talking about other texts, anyways—

“Look at the ones you don’t want to look at. There’s someone you’ve forgotten. Not me or Neito, but someone else. There, stop scrolling.”

You stop on a photo of you. It’s a selfie. Someone is beside you—a man with a cute face and fluffy green hair and freckles. “I know him,” you mumble. There is a flicker of hope as they gather around you. “He’s my professor.”

The hope flickers but does not extinguish.

“He’s more than that. Don’t look away. When did you meet him?”

“Dr. Midoriya and I met a month or two ago, I think. Ochako took me to meet him so I would be able to get ready for the summer semester.”

“No,” Hitoshi starts to say, but Mina cuts him off.

“What do you remember about that meeting?”

“Um… I don’t know. Dr. Midoriya was lying about it being nice to meet me?”

“Why would he lie about that?”

“Because I’m a pain in the ass with a lot of accommodations…?”

Mina coos with pity, then shakes her head. “Remember, there are usually other explanations that don’t involve self-deprecation. Why else might he lie about it being nice to meet you?”

You pause for a long time, staring at the photo even as your headache rears its hideous head once again. “It wasn’t nice.”

“Or…?”

“He wasn’t meeting me?”

“There you go. That wasn’t your first meeting. Look at the date on that photo.”

October 31st, 2050. During the Yesterday you’re missing.

You put down the phone. You look away, rubbing your eyes. Your head is split.

“Come on, [name], don’t look away now. Just a little further and you’ll remember. If you can’t look at the photo, look at me. All you have to do is verify whether or not I’m telling you the truth.”

A whimper. You open one eye to look at Tsuyu as she speaks. “You were in love with Izuku. You lived with him for months. You kissed him on New Year’s and you had a cat together named Sbeve.”

“I’ve met Sbeve,” you manage. “He was sweet. I guessed his name right.”

“You named him. When you stopped living with Izuku, you had been sleeping with him for months.”

They’re telling the truth. Why are they telling the truth? Would it kill them to lie to you? Would it kill them? Won’t this kill them?

the bending the creaking the snapping of the pressure in your head but it isn’t enough it won’t be enough

“Do me a favor and look at this.”

you are looking.

there is a phone in front of you. the camera is on. the screen shows not your face. the screen shows your neck. someone guides your hand to touch the throat. you watch the hand move, reflected in the camera image on the screen. something changes. you must not understand. you are beginning to understand. you cannot look away. something changes.

your neck is littered in bite marks

and

you

snap.

Tags: @tooloudarts @xxangelpridexx @lirinstaalem @izoodles @denise-the-death-goddess @themerpenguin @sincerelybubbles @fudobaby @imabootywarrior @chickynn @fuc-kingmonkey @the-secret-thief @kc-korra @kiliakit @hay-leeeah @meowkid1000 @mha-baku-todo-deku-kiri @jojo-buttercup @starfishlovingbnha @wwwwyamd @omiwashere @emilytheeggy @subwayslander @thelittle-witch @sparkexplosive @shoutaaizawas @vanilladyfics @stargazerunlimited @chaoticevilbakugo @deeplightgarden @stxrrielle @idonthaveanameideayet @snowymaltese @bnha-babygirl @graywrites20 @dusstory @sky-angel101

If your name is on the list but not underlined, I was unable to tag you! If your name is on the list and in bold, this is my second attempt to tag you. You will be removed from the taglist after a third attempt. Please ensure that your blog is set to appear in search results to be able to be tagged on the taglist! If you would like to be added or removed from the taglist, please fill out this form! No hard feelings if you want yourself removed for any reason! <3

#my fics #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #vampire midoriya izuku #bnha x reader #mha x reader

43 notes · View notes

mellohiizz · 1 day

Note

Heh.... guess whos back to yap even more.... (its glitchduo anon) if this is too long and you dont want to reply thats totally cool however i saw you were interested in ashs character and i just HAD to assist...

(Everything neg here is about the characters not ccs btw, most of it is /aff anyways :3)

Ok so im assuming you know the general gist of s4 which is kind of all i know about it aside from like one or two vods ive fully watched. You also probably know about swagdoons which are the enemies to lovers (sometimes) of lifesteal and they try to kill each other but kiss afterwards..... they are the yaoi ever but ill try to be less insane about them to keep this rant focused

most of my REAL info about ash is from mid s5 and s6 which is when i started watching streams more than the videos, however i know he tries to portray himself as the big scary villain in s4 but honest to god he was apologizing PROFUSELY for the smallest things that guy is NAWT a truly heartless villain although he is pretty selfish and greedy but. Well:

before getting into his character i thought he like fully hated everyone, would never try to help someone else, was a general asshole etc etc but the more i paid attention to him the more i realized that yeah i guess he is those things but there is at least one person he gives a shit about (squiddo) and by god does he care a LOT about her

he also is pretty pathetic actually.... when his peace thing in s5 didnt work out he immediately went back to trying to be evil and selfish in s6... hmm its almost like he reverts back to hating everyone before they think hes a loser hmmm... its also really funny because this guy can BARELY pvp so he's very all or nothing on his dramatic gestures (eg he cant take over the server with pvp so he does it with the wormhole which imo is 500% more impressive, although i dont know very much about pvp)

despite him being pathetic he is def a force to be reckoned with, hes very idle until provoked and the provokation is usually out of spite and malice but that guy will stop at Nothing to get what he wants once he has a good enough motive (and doesnt have collage work)

he also gives me false god vibes but like... hes sort of AWARE hes a false god but does not want to admit it At All. i think its really interesting that the season after he became god he was made a host for a god (he actually confirms hes possesed by the commisioner/overseer/lifesteallord when he talks as them btw absolutely wild) and i think it would be cool if that was intentionally to like. Humble him. Show him a real god, not just an immortal guy with flying powers

(This is a little more of a headcanon but i think its feasable) i think that since his s5 loss, being his first major loss in any season ever, hes lost a sense of self in lifesteal, sitting in his house thats too big with empty walls and emptier reasoning. not to mention hes teamless and his only ally/friend is squiddo and thats not even official 😭😭

so yeah my guy is Going Through It... someone get this man hot chocolate and a warm blanket or maybe a picnic with his Best and Only Friend 🙁🙁

(Oh yea if you want a general idea of s5 onwards and dont have time for streams or really long cinematic videos i would recommend squiddos videos on it, theyre rarely over 15-20 minutes and there are only seven right now so you can get through them in a few days if you're REALLY crunched for time ^_^)

hello again glitchduo anon!! giggles i kind of know some general lore?? but mostly out of things i see on here about it, or like clips/vods i'm able to watch when i have time? so yeah... ash's character is very interesting to me, and honestly, what you said about him aligned pretty well with what i did see of him, but like... not in lifesteal, but the character he played in spoke's unstable videos. bro was literally begging for attention and alliance, and then turned around and BOOM twist villain jumpscare he's actually evil... he was acting off the whole time (ignoring mapicc, probably because he knew mapicc was harder to manipulate, and being very obnoxious about getting close to spoke in particular), so that checked out (sorry, i can yap about unstable for so long, im so insane about it) but yeah, i really really enjoy watching him do his thing, and i want to study him in a lab like a weird microorganism or something definitely was getting the false god vibes too btw from i did see of him in lifesteal (which was mostly just other people's vods) actually the whole being host of a god sounds so interesting?? that's definitely the first time i heard about something like this and i love everything having to do with possessions and stuff like that definitely one of the top characters i actually want to know more about (second close is minutetech i'd say) and don't worry, i really like reading what you send in, it actually helps a lot and it's very interesting!! the moment i opened my inbox and saw a lot of text i was like "oh yeah i know who this is from" (/hj/aff btw) thank you for taking the time to give me more knowledge i guess :33 !!

#also gives me an excuse to yap as well soooo #this is fun :33 #i love yapping especially about things that interest me so dont be shy to yap in my inbox if anyone wants lol

6 notes · View notes

heyftinally · 2 months

Note

Worst cartoons you ever watched?

Oh damn, alright, let's go. I'm a cartoon lover, so this is gonna go hard.

For the purposes of fairness, I'm leaving out anything intended for the preK-2nd grade ages. If it airs on playhouse disney/disney jr/nick jr/PBS/etc, I'm not counting it, because it's for a much different audience than stuff like what airs on normal Nickelodeon. I'm also not counting anything aimed at middle/high schoolers or adults, because I wasn't allowed to watch any of it.

Also, disclaimer: I do not watch most current kids cartoons. They don't interest me. I don't care how much anyone wants to hype up Steven Universe, Owl House, or whatever else - they just aren't things that interest me at this point in my life, so all of this is going to be very late 90's - 2010's centric and specifically shows that I watched more than a single episode of, either because I chose to or because my younger sibling liked it (mostly that).

1) Fairly Odd Parents. Look, it was okay in the beginning. I used to watch it if there was nothing else on, because it was better than being bored, but the longer that show ran, the more it sucked. They had virtually zero continuity, and they ran out of ideas WAY early on so they just started adding characters and throwing out their own rules for the sake of a half assed gag. It should have been canceled a *looooooong* time ago. And now apparently they're rebooting it?? I have very little hope for that.

2) Fish Hooks. In a time where most Disney Channel shows were still good, this was just crap. It was crass, relied on cheap toilet humor, and they officially lost me when they started making death/zombie jokes about a fishstick. I honestly rarely like shows like that anyway (ed edd & eddy is the only one that comes to mind), but especially from Disney Channel I expected better.

3) Adventures In Odyssey. Look, I was heavily raised on PBS. If you wanted to watch TV, PBS was sometimes your only option. And when you're trapped in an evangelical home with WAY too many restrictions on what counts as "appropriate", this was often something that I was more or less forced to watch. I don't care that it was aimed at ages 8-12, I was their target demographic and I hated every minute of it. I was already sick of constantly having religion shoved down my throat, and this show didn't make it suck any less. I genuinely remember thinking parts of if where it got extra preach-y were just flat out stupid. It's probably at least 50% trauma talking, but I hated that show so much. I'd have rather watched literally anything else.

Dishonorable mention to Ren & Stimpy - I wasn't allowed to watch it, but just the commercials gave me nightmares.

This list honestly isn't very long, because most cartoons that I hated (that I wasn't banned from watching) I watched less than a single episode of, got the ick for whatever reason, and never tried it again. Most of the ones I truly hated were the ones aimed at preschoolers, because my sibling would watch them and I would be subjected to them (notable ones I hated were Word World and Wow Wow Wubzie or however it's spelled). There were also honestly a few that I hated simply because my sibling loved them, and us having differing opinions on a show was one of the only ways I could feel like my own individual person, so I hated them on principle - had it not been for my sibling/how we were raised, I *might* have liked at least some of them.

#ask #anon

5 notes · View notes

phantom-of-the-501st · 2 years

Text

Some Ep 5 Thoughts

Spoilers for TBB Season 2

So can we talk about the scene where the group got separated by the rockfall for a moment? Because what was the actual point???

As soon as they got separated I thought that there would be a half and half split of the episode where we followed Hunter, Omega and Phee for some scenes and then Tech, Wrecker and Echo for the rest before they ultimately ended up in the same spot at the end. I got really excited to see some content from team Tech, Ech, and Wreck because I feel like that's a combo we don't see enough of.

But we didn't get that!

Instead we spent a few minutes watching the other three sort out the tunnel puzzle thing (Hunter pls stop falling off/down things) and then cut to the others for... nothing.

Wrecker thought he heard a noise, the other two are like "nah, it's in you're head", they turn a corner and THEY ARE RIGHT BACK WITH THE OTHERS.

WTF WAS THE POINT? THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING???

I really feel like the entire point of that rockfall was to get the three of them out of the way for the tunnel scene so that they could keep it a little more focused and less cluttered. But they didn't actually do anything with them. They literally just tucked them away in a dark corner for a few minutes.

This scene just sums up one of my general frustrations with this episode, which is just how useless some of the Batch feel this episode. Wrecker gets to pull some rocks out of the way and swing a monster around and then Tech and Echo... what do Tech and Echo do?

They don't have any particularly interesting dialogue. They don't really do anything that impacts the mission in any way. Tech is just there to talk about how old the rock is and Echo is there just because.

It feels so much like when they got sidelined in season 1 which is why it's so frustrating.

If you're going to put all of them in, do something with them. Really this entire episode could have just been about Phee, Omega and Hunter.

And I do wonder if this coming off the back of eps 3 and 4 influenced the way I felt about this episode. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love those episodes, but we've had one ep without the Batch, one with half of them and now one where there might as well have only been half of them.

Wrecker got a bit last episode and a little less today, Hunter got nothing last ep but actually had something decent this time, Tech had the entirety of episode 4 but nothing this episode, and Echo has done fuck all since episode 2.

I think that had they put an episode like this after a few episodes with the whole Batch, it wouldn't be so bad. But with the Batch as a whole not really getting a lot atm, it makes me feel like we're straying a bit.

I was really hyped to see more stuff about the conflict between Hunter, Echo and the rest of the Batch. I wanted to see more with Tech questioning their choice to stay with Cid. And this episode didn't really deliver on anything.

I'm not really sure what the point was and this cave scene pretty much summarises that. Half the Batch felt completely unnecessary in their own show.

Hopefully we get something more next episode. If "Tribe" is about the wookies then Echo might get to shine a bit, seeing as we see him with just Omega and Gungi.

I don't hate this episode but it really fell flat for me. It felt pretty meh. I'm not expecting every episode to be amazing but I hope it picks up a bit after this.

Wow, this ended up being a lot longer and angrier than I intended. Oops. 😅

#the bad batch season 2 spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #star wars #wrecker #tech #echo #hunter #omega #phee genoa

36 notes · View notes

emometalhead · 1 year

Text

My Eras Tour Concert experience!! (7/28/23)

Let's start at the beginning! Immediately after we got through the gates, people approached my friend and I about trading bracelets! (We also gave bracelets to the parking lot attendants!!) The energy was so fun! On our walk from the parking lot, and the entire time we were in the stadium, I was complimenting people's outfits. Everyone looked gorgeous!!! I have never seen so much glitter and sequins!!! It was so cute!! Btw the first bracelet that someone chose to take from me was "Three Sad Virgins" lol.

We walked around the stadium for like an hour. We talked to quite a few people, and traded several bracelets. We met up with one of my dad's former co-workers too! She was super sweet, and I gave her a bracelet. We went to the Capital One booth to do the Taylor elevator video thing, and it turned out really cute!! It's posted on my Instagram if any mutuals want to see. Since we were walking around and stuff, we ended up not watching the openers. It wasn't a horrible loss for us, because none of us were familiar with their music.

We were shocked when we found our seats. Our view was incredible!! We were directly in front of the stage, and we were in the first row of our area. No one was in front of us. We literally could've sat through the whole thing and still would've had a perfect view. (That being said I stood the whole time lol.) I got so excited when I heard Misery Business and Immortals play btw!! I love that Taylor has Paramore and Fall Out Boy in her pre-show playlist! Also I hadn't seen the clock countdown before. The crowd energy was insane, and I was legit about to cry before she even came on stage.

I didn't cry when she came onto the stage, but I did scream a lot lol. As expected, it was super fun to sing along to Miss Americana and YNTCD. Also as expected, my dad sang along to YNTCD! He recorded lots of stuff for me throughout the concert too. Being able to yell "shade never made anybody less gay" was a great experience btw. I started crying during Lover, and I cried again during The Archer. I really wasn't sure which songs would make me cry, but I've got to say I didn't expect Lover lol.

Onto the Fearless era! That was my first time hearing the song Fearless! She didn't play it at my reputation tour concert. It was so much fun!!! I was jumping around and dancing through the whole era. I saw my dad singing along to YBWM! As excited as I was myself, I was also happy that my dad got to hear songs he was familiar with this time. I will always cherish the memory of doing heart hands with Taylor + everyone in the stadium.

You guys have no clue how loudly I screamed when I saw Haim come onto stage in their Bejeweled dresses!! I'm so obsessed with them! Hearing no body, no crime live was incredible. What surprised me most about this era was the fact that I sobbed through marjorie. (Very intense, ugly crying.) That song does make me cry often, but I failed to consider how hard it would hit live given I recently lost one of my grandmas. The song is a beautiful tribute, and I love that Taylor gets to honor her grandmother in such a special way. My dad hugged me through most of the song while I cried. champagne problems was exactly as cool live as I expected. The crowd energy was WILD!! I will always love the intensity in Taylor's eyes when she drops the f-bomb line lol. tolerate it live was also incredible. One of my favorite songs forever and ever!! Btw we cheered for over 3 and a half minutes after champagne problems. (That's a whole minute longer than night 2.)

I have no words for how hot reputation Taylor is. I ascended watching her. I can't believe I essentially got to see a second reputation era. I have the least to say here because I had already heard the songs from this era live, but I had so much fun dancing around and I am just so so gay.

Now for Speak Now!! I had entirely avoided spoilers of what the stage looked like for this era. I was in awe of how beautiful it was! I am so happy to have heard Enchanted live, and the fireworks were perfect!! (The fireworks were not part of the show, but still very cool. Levi Stadium is across a parking lot from Great America, so we experienced the amusement park's firework display during Speak Now and Red.) I cried again during Long Live! I thought I'd be safe since I heard it during the reputation era, but my love for Taylor got to me lol. I love her so much, and I am so glad she gets to be celebrated each weekend.

The transition into the Red era was fun! I hadn't seen anything about it online, so it was totally new to me. This is the era that I could tell my dad had the most fun in. He sang along to 3/4 songs. He didn't know the words to All Too Well, but he did record the entire song for me!! Also he sang the correct words to Trouble lol. This era was so fun to dance around during. I hadn't heard any songs from this era live previously, and my dad and I fueled each other's hype!

God the folklore era was amazing. I had so much fun screaming along to betty!! It's been one of my favorites since the album came out. My inner 2020 self was LIVING!! My jaw locked during illicit affairs, which really sucked, but beyond that it was a wonderful time during this era!! The stage setup was gorgeous!!!!!

Oh. My. God. The 1989 era!!!!!!!!! So damn fun!!! I was jumping around and dancing the whole time!!!! I don't have the words, but it was EVERYTHING!!!!! I was so hyped and also knew we were right around the corner from the surprise songs!!

The surprise songs were right where you left me and Castles Crumbling!! You guys don't understand how insane my friend and I went. We knew Aaron Dessner was at the show, and we jokingly were like "haha what if we get rwylm or peace". We had also been talking about those songs in the car prior to knowing Aaron was there, and my friend said that rwylm was one of her biggest hopes. (It was in my top 10 too!) So imagine how excited we were when Taylor brought Aaron on stage and the song started. We looked at each other, screamed, and hugged. It was such a good moment. Then after, we just had no clue what to expect from the next song. Taylor started playing the piano, and the crowd went silent. I screamed so loudly it hurt my throat when she sang the first line of Castles Crumbling. I had been intentionally avoiding speaking my surprise song hopes out loud, because I was scared of like jinxing it or something. It was everything to me to hear that song. I was completely not expecting it, but Taylor knew I'd go crazy for a Speak Now TV vault song and she delivered!!!! Those song choices were perfect. It was fun going on Twitter after the show and seeing all of the memes from people that weren't there. Usually I'm right there with them and Like everything, but I got to be like "yeah sorry I was actually there" lol. Btw now that the second night has happened, I'd just like to confirm that we won lol.

Last but not least, the Midnights era!!! So cool! Just so so cool! I made my dad record Vigilante Sh*t, because I was losing my goddamn mind. That was the sexiest thing I've seen in my life. Holy wow. No thoughts just gay. I was sad because I knew we were at the end of the show, but I was having too much fun to really think about it. Taylor is such a force. Her care for her fans is so evident, and I'm so grateful she broke curfew to be with us. My love for her is infinite, and I'm in awe that I got to see my favorite person irl for a second time.

Btw I got my favorite outfits for most of the eras, and I still can't get over that. I will never stop talking about this concert!!!! My dad is going to show me his videos on the TV today, and I'm looking forward to reliving everything!! Shoutout to the #1 Swiftie dad for taking so many photos and videos! I didn't take out my phone during the concert because he was totally on top of it all. He let me live in the moment, and I'm very appreciative. Also I know he recorded me a couple times, so I'm curious to see that footage lol.

Here's some photos that my dad sent me!!

#it was really just the best time #I'll never get over it #taylor swift #the eras tour #ashley overshares

7 notes · View notes

dovveri · 4 months

Note

Hi dovee how are youuuuu?

I actually feel rly bad for her cuz before they even found out she was trans, there were a lot of men who were being rly degrading to her in her comments and also threatening to start stalking her. Like she had to make a post about how she felt uncomfortable and for them to please stop making threats to her safety. This discourse of men and bear tbh gives me headaches cuz men are so butt hurt that they made a video (ai) of a zombie-like bear (slippery skin if I'm not mistaken) that would "definitely kill women" because its literal goal is to brutalize women but only those who chose bear over men. Like imagine having your ego so hurt that you make this as a response to a hypothetical question that was made to inflate the ego of a man who was trying to flirt. And again, because they fail to have any common sense they can't understand the question and why people answer the way they do😭 I saw a 3-minute long video of a girl explaining the answers so that that kind of men could understand and on the comments, there were still some guys who were like "oh, but the bear would definitely kill you!" like-

HIIIIII OMG my fav person to talk to abt 🤢men🤮 omg i didnt know they were saying that stuff to her even before they found out she was trans? thats terrible omg i genuinely think the less centralised womens lives are around men the more misogynistic they get like did u see the recent bumble billboards? a man HAD to have made that and crazy too as like a response to the 4b movement gaining traction in the west they had to be like “celibacy isnt the answer guys!” like what?!?! u can also be celibate and still date men?? and from BUMBLE too like the platform that was meant to champion women making the first move and everything its so disappointing

ok i recently also watched poor things and i DESPISED it like it got so much love and wtv from being a ‘feminist’ film but um????????? no absolutely the fuck not all it did was champion pedophilia like the director (A MAN) ltr just put all his kinks in one movie and called it feminist bcs it was ‘sexually liberating’ and GOD I HATE THIS ARGUMENT like i HATE that the only thing men have gotten out of the feminist movement is “oh! women enjoy sex too? amazing go women!” like NO SHUT UR ASS UP sexual liberation was important bcs it gave women autonomy about WHO they wanted to have sex with, if they even WANTED to have sex with people, it gave them more purpose to sex than just bearing children it allowed them to enjoy sex just as men have been able to for centuries. but feminism is SOOOO much more than that but ofc thats the only part that men pay attention to right? UGH i ranted abt this film more in my letterboxd review LMAO but i wont text dump here

OMG YES EXACTLY THAT LIKE THE MAN V BEAR QUESTION WAS POSED BY A MAN like exactly what u said he asked it bcs he thought it’d be an easy ego boost since in his head there was no way a woman would choose a bear over him. and this zombie ai thing?? wtf theyre literally going to show EXACTLY what we’re talking about bcs people that r making that are also the ones killing women in video games and normalising violence against women and combining it with sexualisation of women? so its rly if they had the tools to do it they would and THEY HAVE THE TOOLS so no wonder we’re terrified?

last point i swear but the line between lust and anger? is SO CLOSE lots of men dont realise it but they can go from being absolutely in love with someone and willing to do anything for them, to wanting them dead or worse (junko furata)

#losing more faith in men everyday #ur so right #man v bear gives me a headache too

1 note · View note

maya-matlin · 1 year

Note

Dumb question but your replies to asks are my favorites on this whole site, so I wanted to send an ask! Here it is: are there ships that you thought you'd love based on gifs but ended up not really liking once you saw them on tv or in youtube videos? For me one of them is Brulian. I kept hearing what an adorkable cutie Julian was and loved how happy Brooke looked in their gifsets but then when I actually saw them I just thought the chemistry was forced, Julian was a TOTALLY different character his first two seasons on the show and a lot less likable initially, and the acting and writing just didn't work for me? I expected them to be an otp but ended up meh at best on them! And I thought I'd ship Barchie because they're an iconic comic book couple, I'm much more of a Betty than Veronica personally lol, and their gifsets are gorgeous, but then when I watched the show I'm like, no, Varchie and Bughead are meant to be imo and Barchie doesn't do it for me at all. And one final example - Piper/Leo from Charmed. They're adorable in their gifsets, but it turns out the gifsets highlight literally the only times they're remotely happy?! Post-S1 Piper is perpetually angry, critical and miserable, she complains and snaps at everyone (especially Leo) every minute, Leo is so flat and personality-free, and their chemistry and connection are just lacking to me no matter how many times the show tells me their love is epic :) I can't wait to read your choices!

I don't think it's a dumb question! You're seriously sweet. <3 I feel like I'm really bad at replying to asks, so I'm glad you think that LOL

I think I might have to slightly alter this question to mean ships that I'd heard of, period, or had seen advertised and believed I'd end up shipping only to end up either disliking or feeling neutral towards. I only say that because for the past few years, I've really tried to keep an open mind when starting new shows so that I wouldn't go in with any preconceived ideas about what couples I'd root for.

Those are all interesting examples!

So when it comes to Brulian, I kind of agree. That being said, I did ship them the first time I watched season 6 and for the first half of season 7. But eventually, I was turned off by the Brooke/Julian/Alex arc. While I understand Brooke's LP trauma continuing to haunt her years later, it was just frustrating to watch it all play out again and for Brooke to devolve back into the most insecure version of herself. In some ways, I actually prefer Julian with Alex over Brooke. I still love the idea of them and think they had sweet moments, but their relationship never hit the same way Brucas did. It's an acceptable endgame for Brooke, but it will always kind of feel like second best. I'm sure that's an unpopular opinion, but oh well. I didn't force Chad and Sophia to have such strong chemistry or make the writers execute their seasons 2 and 3 arc so well.

Funny you should mention Barchie, because I had a similar experience in some ways. To be clear, I never read Archie Comics, but I vaguely knew some of the basics. The week Riverdale premiered, I'd been talking to a friend who rooted for BA in the comics and was excited to see Riverdale's take on their relationship. So, I watched the pilot episode to see what it was all about. I guess I shipped Betty and Archie then? But only in the sense that for the first couple of episodes, I was honestly cool with any outcome except Veronica/Jughead. That changed very, very quickly. Pre-Bughead, I was all about Beronica. Archie in contrast just wasn't as compelling to me and seemed to have a revolving door of love interests - something I'd heard was also somewhat the case in the comics. In the long run, BA became a good representation of everything I hate in a fictional couple. Their relationship is one of the laziest things I've ever seen. I truly mean that. Their fans did almost 100% of the work trying to piece that shit together because the writers were NOT writing a slow burn. The Riverdale writers seemed to deliberately avoid kicking off a story arc with any awareness of how it was going to end. The sad excuse for off screen, pre-series childhood anecdotes replacing any true development from episodes 103-416 didn't impress me. I hated watching Betty slowly sacrifice everything she wanted for her life just so she could conform into being Archie's ideal woman as he sacrificed absolutely nothing in return or ever once showed he had any true understanding of Betty. She needed extensive therapy, not the golden boy's dick. Anyways. Bughead forever, Varchie over BA because at least effort was put into that relationship.

As for Leo/Piper, you make some points, but I have to disagree. I can't help it. They were my favorite couple on Charmed. That being said, I acknowledge there was a lot of unnecessary angst, particularly during the later seasons. Leo's actor, Brian Krause, was also incredibly weak and nowhere near as talented as the women on the show.

Now, on to my answers. I already explained my history with BA, so I'll skip that one.

Bangel and Spuffy - Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I'd heard positive things about both couples, so I had no clue going in which I would end up shipping. As it turns out, the answer was neither. The Buffy/Angel arc was fine for a while, but at a certain point Angel was just kind of there. As much as I liked the guy, their romance was one of my least favorite aspects of the show. So it was a relief when he moved onto his own show, where his character improved tremendously. I also liked Angel better with Cordelia, so there's that. In the case of Spuffy, I'd heard about the slow burn and the enemies to lovers arc. So I was curious how all of that would happen. I didn't expect Spike to be such a creep towards Buffy. Season 6 wasn't great for them as it was, but the painfully long, attempted rape scene was the last straw. There was no overlooking that, yet season 7 basically had Buffy bending over backwards to defend Spike just because he had his soul back. That sucked. Out of the two love interests, Angel > Spike, always. But truthfully, the only Buffy ship I was ever passionate about was the potential one with Faith.

Jonah/Frankie - Degrassi Next Class: I don't know what I was expecting from these two. They seemed to have chemistry based on the promos Netflix and F2N released. I naively thought Winston had been such a dick that any guy would be an improvement over him. Jonah seemed like an overall decent guy in season 14 during his relationship with Becky, even if he was still haunted by some demons. Unfortunately, Next Class Jonah was a cold, judgmental, arrogant asshole. At least towards Frankie. The writers seemed to want an enemies to lovers situation, but mostly it just felt like Frankie being berated by her older boyfriend. She was an insecure mess with him, and he got away with emotional cheating.

EJ/Gina - HSMTMTS: Looking back at all the signs, it's very obvious Ricky and Gina were intended to end up together from very early on. But I was so certain that Ricky/Nini was the Disney ship that HAD to end up together, so I didn't think my ship stood an actual chance. EJ was transforming into a good guy and I wanted Gina to be happy, so I thought they'd be pretty good together. Sadly, they didn't have a single ounce of romantic chemistry. It was painful to watch. Gina's one episode almost romance with a guest star shined a light on what was lacking with EJ. Watching them fumble into their awkward romance was the worst. Which is a shame, because their platonic chemistry was pretty solid.

Duncan/Veronica - Veronica Mars: This was a VERY long time ago, and my reason was shallow: based on pictures, I thought Teddy Dunn (Duncan) was cuter than Jason Dohring (Logan). I knew nothing of their relationships with Veronica, just that Logan was more popular. I'm not particularly attracted to either guy physically now, but it's very obvious it's all about the charisma. Logan had it and was played by an extremely talented actor. Duncan didn't, and his actor was considerably weaker in comparison. Logan and Veronica demanded to be written together regardless of what Rob Thomas wanted. Duncan as a character was never able to keep up with Veronica and kind of like BA in some ways, it felt like a regression whenever Veronica was with Duncan.

Honestly, there needs to be a category for ships you initially liked solely because it was the only thing being offered at the time and less that the ship was anything special. Because I decided against including several ships for that reason LOL

#Anonymous #rape tw #Long post

1 note · View note

beanswrites · 2 years

Text

We need to talk about anxiety.

okay so recently i've been having like increased heart rate and stuff like that and i've been so worried

AND I JUST REALIZED THAT I'M FINE, I JUST HAVE ANXIETY??

neat.

literately all the symptoms of an anxiety attack are MY symptoms

So, if you:

- suddenly have increased heart rate

- are trembling

- feeling weak

- having stomach problems

- feeling nausieted

- feel weak, and/or tired

- are breathing heavily

- sweating more than usual

You're okay, you're probably having an anxiety/panic attack. So, relax, breath slowly and gently through your nose, have a glass of water, eat something, watch something to distract yourself, listen to music. Basically, just try to distract yourself as much as you can. I know that it's not possible to "jUsT nOt Be AnXiOuS" or "jUsT dOn'T tHiNk AbOuT iT", but seriously, distracting helps.

I'm no professional, but I am someone who didn't know what was wrong with me until I realized this. And it helped me, quite a bit! As soon as I realized that I'm way too anxious today, I started watching this compilation that's 3 hours long of my favorite show, and it relaxed me!

Things that could also help:

- Try talking about it with someone as it happens. I find that I feel much better if I tell someone what's going on and they reassure me that I'm gonna be fine. Just talking about my anxiety with my sister already makes it feel better!! It's not for everyone, but it does help!

- Take a shower. Preferably, a cold one. It's gonna relax your muscles and help you think, plus it helps A LOT with the sweating. However, if you're trembling way too much to stand for 10-15 minutes under the shower, lay down, deep breaths and watch something.

- If you are wearing tight clothes (tight shirts, shorts/pants that are way too tight in the waistband, bras, binders, corsets, anything that restricts your stomach/chest), take it off. You'll feel much less pressure, meaning that your heavy breathing and/or stomach problems won't be as triggered.

- Not while you're having an anxiety attack, but after, think about what triggered your anxiety attack. It's not that easy (sometimes it might seem like you're anxious about nothing in particular) but killing the source of the problem always helps.

- Once you're relaxed or half-relaxed, try not to go back to the anxious state. Even if you feel like you're fine now (for example everything is fine but you're still trembling/shivering a bit), continue distracting yourself. There's been countless cases and even is common for people to have two panic/anxiety attacks in a row, because they calmed from the first but couldn't keep relaxed. (Had them myself, 0/10 would not recommend, not fun in the least)

- if you can, try to sleep. anxiety attacks and anxiety in general can be really tiring lol

- listen. anxiety is a bitch and it acts all crazy. your nerves are gonna be triggered, so don't fear too much if you accidentaly twitch or tic, or even feel light numbness in your fingers/arms/face. it's normal and usual for anxiety, so don't put more panic on yourself if that happens.

- i'm almost never for forcefully vomiting, but if you're really feeling sick, TRY. TO. VOMIT. It will take that pressure out of you if you do and make you feel better. But only if you feel like you really need to.

- also, if you're having stomach pains and cramps, try to take a dump. helps for the same reasons as vomiting.

Once again, by any means I'm NOT a specialist for anxiety (or mental health, for that matter), a professional, or a doctor. I'm literately just a very anxious (sometimes too paranoid) girl and these are my personal experiances and things that help me. I'm not saying that they're gonna help everyone (everyone's anxiety is different), but it might help someone!

Here are some more links of research, symptoms and help for anxiety/panic attacks:

1. The symptoms of an anxiety attack

2. The difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack

3. Ways to prevent/help for anxiety/panic attacks

4. Breathing exercise

5. 3 hours of calming music

6. 3 hours of Ink Master livestream because it's so good??? And distracting??

7. 1 hour of Bob Ross because there is nothing more calming than this man

8. Games you could play to lessen you anxiety, if you're more for games, my favorite is Stardew Valley and Sky

9. The national hotline for anxiety is +18663079551. Talk to someone on the phone (or text) if you can't talk to someone in real life

Another way to prevent this (if you have any anxiety disorder), is by taking medicine. However, I didn't list that since:

- They are expensive

- There's not much research on them/some of them might not be safe

- Not many people are privileged enough to get a perscription and/or professional diagnosis

As someone who is from a very conservative, small-minded country (therefore the concept of mental health doesn't exist to them), I've never been diagnosed profesionally there, since people brushed it off as the usual: "Silly teenager! Silly teenager worry? No, no! Worry for old people! Teenager just dumb!" But I wasn't fucking dumb. I've been to actual, professional doctors where I live now and they told me that even though my illnes wasn't as severe as some other people (don't need meds, but still have irregular attacks of panic and worry), it's still real.

I'm not hating on the medication by any means!! If you take meds for anxiety and they work for you, that's awesome, I'm really glad you found a way to deal with it!! I'm just saying that it might not work/be the best solution for some people.

---

Sorry for the rant, I just felt like I needed to share since I found this out only recently and am glad that I finally know what's wrong. You can take my advice, or not, but do what you feel like will help you! Hope that you can find something that helps you calm down in this looooooongg post of my little things that help me!! All of my fella's with anxiety disorders, have a lovely day/night, have a good rest, and be safe ♡︎

57 notes · View notes

omegas-spaghettios · 3 years

Text

The Batch can 100% rescue Crosshair, y'all just haven't thought about it.

I have seen some posts and comments bemoaning Crosshair fans' frustration with the Batch not rescuing him. "Omega is their priority, they can't do it without putting her at risk, the Empire is too powerful.", all things I have read that supposedly make it so the Batch can't attempt to liberate Crosshair.

All of them are false.

I am going to go into excruciating detail of all of the ways I can think of that the Batch could reasonably do it.

Also, all of these are not just my ideas! I talked with @bimormondisaster pretty lengthily about this, a lot of the ideas are hers, check her out!

Now, the first "reason" why the Batch can't.

1) They can't put Omega at risk

I agree that taking Omega to try and liberate Crosshair is putting her at risk. But guess what? Cut Lawquane exists.

Cut has already shown he would happily take Omega in and raise her in his family. I seriously doubt Rex or the Batch have lost contact with him when he moved, they could contact him and ask him to watch Omega, he almost certainly would. Best case scenario the Batch succeeds and Omega just got a fun few days at Cut's house, they all have a reunion where Crosshair gets to see Omega and Cut again, they can have a nice reunion and celebration party. Worst case? The Batch fail and die, where Omega is safe and in good hands with Cut's family. Since the Batch's chips are removed and there is no evidence in canon to suggest they can be replaced, there is little risk of the Batch being reprogrammed and hunting after Cut.

Omega is also just part of the Batch now, guys. They've said this. The Batch has agreed to let her take any risk they take, and she could be incredibly helpful on a Raid on Kamino if it came to it, she could be a big help in saving Crosshair and I'm sure she would LOVE to help.

2) Kamino/The Empire is Too Powerful

First of all, no they aren't. The Clone Wars has shown us on multiple occasions that Kamino is able to be infiltrated. During the Rookies arc, we see that Ventress made it on planet with Aqua droids. They relied on Debris to build attack ships, but Ventress and the droids got there BEFORE Grievous did. This shows it is possible to get on planet undetected. Then the Conspiracy arc shows that if you are smart, you can navigate Kamino's defenses. Fives and AZ ALONE managed to infiltrate the medical bay, the DNA chambers, and the place where the earliest clones were being grown. They did that on there own! Not to discredit Fives, he is incredibly capable. But so is the Batch. Tech probably already knows that place inside and out, but if he doesn't he can learn very quickly. Omega also likely knows the facility incredibly well. If they don't, they could just convince a Droid like AZ to help or flat out reprogram them. Also, once in the facility, Hunter would certainly be able to track Crosshair. Bonus points, Fives got from the water up into the facility undetected, so between those two TCW arcs there is a clear demonstrated path to get into and around the facility.

Also, the Batch's entire Clone Wars career was designed around impossible missions. They were the ones called in when literally no other clones could cut it, I seriously doubt Kamino is the worst thing they have waded in to.

But even if it was too hard to do that for them (it isn't), they could try other avenues. The Batch could create a staging ground and dare Crosshair to come after them, which is almost certainly would. The Galaxy is so freaking big the writers could come up with countless planets and staging grounds for the Batch to create a good defensible position, but a good idea is a CIS war outpost.

We saw in Rebels that many old outposts and forts from The Clone Wars were abandoned. While I severely doubt that the Republic ones have been abandoned by this point in the timeline, they could have pretty good luck finding a CIS one. Most of the droids were deactivated, so finding a Fort or outpost or armory and seizing it should be easier than storming Kamino. They may have to deal with scrappers or pirates, but they are decidedly less intimidating than Kamino. Take a CIS post, take a few days to learn it, get it running, and modify it for a battle, and they're golden! Those facilities were DESIGNED for war, the hard part is just getting it functioning. They could fix it up, dig in their heels and dare Crosshair to attempt it, which they could capture him during the battle.

3) "They don't have the manpower"

Sure they do, I have already established that Kamino is not impossible to get around, one clone and Droid did it, for Christ's sake. But fine, they don't want to do it with just Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, and Echo. Good news! They have allies!

They could ask Rex. Rex at least has Trace and Rafa, undoubtedly more. If they went to Rex and asked for his help in exchange for their help in the future, that can boost their numbers.

Then they have Cid. Now she will charge. But if they spend time doing jobs and saving up, they could pay for Cid's help in acquiring supplies or allies who would be willing to help for hire. Cid also might just be willing to point them in the direction of someone who could help.

Then there is Saw Gerrera. They would have to find him, but I'm SURE he would help. If they went to him and said "hey, we need your help rescuing a brother, in exchange for your help we will give you guided access to Kamino and help you sabotage or damage it while we are there." Saw would almost certainly jump at the chance.

Then, absolute worst case scenario, they could find battle droids. We have already seen in the series where they could find some, they are probably not incredibly hard to get. They might even be on Bracca, too. They could take some time and find droids to reprogram and build themselves a force that way.

Even just ONE of those 4 options could help. If they went for all 4, they legit have the allies to form a small army, that's enough.

4) How to remove Crosshair's Chip

This isn't criticism I have seen but it's more evidence, you can remove his chip easily. Do it on Kamino during the raid, for one. The procedure itself takes only a few minutes. Granted, that is a lot of time in a high stress situation. But even if Crosshair took as long as Wrecker to recover, taking an unconscious Crosshair out of Kamino would be just as easy if not easier to take than an unconscious or tied up Crosshair with an active chip.

I also doubt the empire figured out why the Batch were on Bracca, most likely thought they were just scavenging. They could return to Bracca on another ship and use their facility. But if they don't want to do that, the ship Rex went down on in Season 7 has one. If not that, Tech has worked personally with the equipment on the ship, he could certainly find somewhere in the Galaxy with comparable equipment to do the procedure.

In Conclusion

Please stop saying shit to Crosshair fans about this. The Batch is well within their power to do this, they have the resources available. They can do it now, but they haven't yet. I am aware a lot of these resources were found during the first half of the season. But now they have them and no explicit goal, they can 100% look at all of these ways or even ways I haven't thought of, pick one, and do it.

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #the clone wars #tcw #hunter #omega #crosshair #tech #wrecker #echo #fives #battle droids #AZ #saw gerrera #rex #cid #cut lawquane

115 notes · View notes

maplecornia · 3 years

Text

Chapter 4

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 3.06K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: this one is literally just revolving around one of the BTS members. i don't really have much else to say other than HYUNJIN'S BACK and I'm crying.

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne

Kim Namjoon never imagined he would lose his assistant.

JaeJin was a great worker and a great friend. He loved music and expressed it through his very soul, his every move whenever he danced or helped Namjoon produce a song. Namjoon smiles as his hand hovers over the soundboard.

In the back of his mind, he remembers the days spent here ever since Jaejin was promoted to his assistant. He remembers the first time he met his dear friend, how nervous Jaejin looked, unspoken excitement reverberating off of him in waves.

As Namjoon pushes up the volume on the soundboard, he thinks back to the moments spent as Jae learned how to be his assistant, as Namjoon taught him as much as he could. How what started as respect turned into a mutual friendship, and later, a brotherhood.

Though Namjoon is sad to see JaeJin go, he is happy to see his dream accomplished. He will miss Jae's smile, his laugh, and his good heart, but he knows that just because Jaejin is taking a different path doesn't mean they will cease to be friends.

As soon as Joon finishes a part of his song, he sighs, pulling away from the board and whipping out his phone.

He doesn’t know why he started thinking about him all of a sudden, he was one of the first people to know that Jae was leaving. Besides, he would see him soon, it’s not like Jaejin leaving for a couple of months means that he won’t ever see him again.

Standing, RM walks out of the room, leaving Suga to continue by himself.

He's lucky that Yoongi has his headphones on. If he caught Namjoon slacking he wouldn't get off easy. Carefully, RM exits the room, shutting the door softly behind him as he leans against the wall next to the door to the studio. Turning his phone on, he checks the time, his heart thumping slightly.

8:30 am.

Perhaps the reason his mind is so full of nostalgic memories is that he’s been waiting since last night to meet his new manager.

Jaejin said that his replacement should show up around this time, but he hasn't given much information other than that. Namjoon pockets his phone and heads down the hallway towards the front lobby.

Staff members pass by him, some working for TxT, others for the new girl group they put together about 3 years ago, and even more for the new boy group that BigHit began putting together in 2020.

Namjoon finds their presence surreal.

The members of BTS's staff have been around ever since their debut, and even more, have joined the crew over the years. These staff members will no doubt do the same for their groups, maybe stick around till the very end.

If anyone asked Namjoon's opinion, he would say it was the staff that had to do the real work. And all from behind the scenes. They are the ones who help them put on a great show. They are the ones who tutor them, provide for them, allow them to create their vision, their masterpiece. They are the stitches behind the fabric.

To Namjoon, BTS is just the face. The whole idea of them, of their message, was created through everyone's effort. Including ARMY, including their staff, including BTS themselves.

Losing one of their members would be like trying to fill a hole that cannot be filled.

Perhaps that's why Namjoon is so worried about Jaejin's replacement.

No one can truly replace him.

Namjoon never wanted a new manager.

There was a reason he chose Jaejin out of all the others, a reason he turned a backup dancer into his manager. He needs someone with the same passion, the same grit, the same determination that he has. Jaejin had that, and more. He was able to keep up with Namjoon’s crazy schedule, his unhealthy habits, his tendency to overwork himself.

Normally it was Suga trying to keep up with him, trying to help him, trying to do the best for him, but when he met Jaejin, he found exactly what he needed in a manager.

Will his replacement be able to do the same?

Entering the lobby, he knocks on the counter, where a receptionist is taking a call. She looks up at his knock and he smiles at her, receiving the usual smile back and a slight blush on her cheeks.

After a moment of their little staring contest, Namjoon grows impatient. He indicates silently that he’s waiting to speak with her and her eyes widen in realization. She nods sheepishly at his signal, holding up one finger to signify to him that she'll talk to him in a second. He complies, settling in as she continues her call, faintly aware of Kim Namjoon behind her.

Namjoon is never sure how to feel about these types of things.

People recognizing him in the street, others noticing him even with a disguise, he doesn't know what to do with the attention.

Why didn't people pay attention to him before? When he didn't have all the makeup, the money, and the influence? Are they looking at him because they appreciate who he is as a person?

Or because he is Kim Namjoon?

RM of BTS.

Putting the thought out of his mind, he turns his back to the receptionist, unlocking his phone, and opening the chat with Jaejin. He doesn't see any sign of his replacement, but then again, how would Namjoon know what she looks like?

Hey

YOUNG APPRENTICE- oh hi, what’s up hyung?

When was your replacement supposed to be here again?

YOUNG APPRENTICE- ummmmm, 8:00 am or so, why?

RM pulls away from his phone, looking around for any sign of a girl who looks lost or out of place in the lobby. Every time Jaejin talked about this so-called friend, he referred to them as a “she” so the only thing Namjoon knows about this new manager is the fact that she’s female.

Sadly, as he desperately scours the lobby, there's no sign of anyone there that fits the description. The one girl who was waiting in the waiting area has just been called aside and led to a meeting room. Namjoon, a little worried, bites his lip before a buzz in his hands causes him to glance at his phone.

YOUNG APPRENTICE- Namjoon?

Yeah?

I’m sorry it’s just….she’s not here yet

YOUNG APPRENTICE- WHAT

Namjoon rolls his eyes playfully at Jae's reaction before walking out of the lobby. If she's not here, there's no need to hang around, and it doesn't seem as though the receptionist is paying much attention anyway.

As he leaves, the receptionist stares after him almost hopelessly, Namjoon oblivious to the longing gaze.

He glances at his phone once more maneuvering his way through the hallways of the building.

YOUNG APPRENTICE- are you sure?

YOUNG APPRENTICE- I'm gonna murder her

Well I can’t know for sure

Could I have a picture or maybe a name?

YOUNG APPRENTICE- I never gave you one?

Not to my knowledge

YOUNG APPRENTICE- oh I am so sorry hyung! Her name is Lin Yen and just give me a minute and I'll find you a picture

"Lin...Yen...." Namjoon murmurs, pondering it in his mind.

"Just who exactly are you?" he whispers, putting the phone down once more as he comes to a stop in a corner of the hallway.

Yen...he repeats in his mind, playing around with it, trying to see how it sounds on his tongue, how it feels circling in his thoughts, how it plays on his voice.

It's a beautiful name, one he hasn't heard often, and for some reason, he feels as though it's foreign. Another vibration from his phone jolts him out of his pondering thoughts, and he looks down at the screen, immediately bursting out laughing.

Jaejin has sent the picture of you, but it's not just any picture.

It's a picture of you eating salad.

But that's not what makes it so funny.

You and Jaejin are at a Korean BBQ in the picture, and you hold the signature salad bowl up to your face, your chopsticks hooked around an enormous bite. You're shoving the bite into your mouth, your cheeks puffed up like chipmunks, your eyes wide and nose pinched.

Your expression, your face, the fact that you're attempting to shove a huge bite into your mouth, everything about the picture is hilarious, and Namjoon can't stop looking at it.

He can't stop looking at you.

Now he is sure that you are a foreigner, with that complexion and your facial features. You aren't necessarily tall, but not super short either. Then again, Namjoon doesn't think that Park Jimin is short, so what does he know?

One thing is for sure, though…

You are beautiful.

And it’s not only the physical things that make you beautiful, though they are a contributing factor.

It’s the personality.

The charisma that exuberates off of you, managing to touch him most charmingly through a mere photo. The way you smile, how it lights up your eyes. The blush of your cheeks, and even the color of your hair. Everything about you has captured his attention, and he can't look away.

His smile doesn't want to fade, so he covers his face with his hand, leaning against the wall. No doubt he looks like an idiot, but he doesn't care.

You have that gift.

The natural gift of familiarity when you are less than strangers.

And it has surprised him. The cool, calm, professional, wise Namjoon wouldn't have thought that such a thing could reach his heart...and yet he can't stop smiling.

"Namjoon."

Startled, the smile fading just as quickly as it began, Namjoon jumps, his phone slipping out of his grip. Frantic, and a bit embarrassed, he fumbles to catch it before it falls, but to no avail.

He watches in hopeless despair as the phone hits the ground with a sickening thud, the screen immediately cracking at the impact of the harsh tiled floor.

Namjoon lets out a groan, while a slender, pale hand reaches out and picks it up. Wincing, he glances to his side.

Where Min Yoongi holds his phone in between his fingers as though it were a dirty piece of trash; looking unamused. Glaring at him with a stare as cold as ice, he drops it into RM’s hands before folding his arms across his chest. Namjoon rolls his eyes at his luck, sighing inwardly.

He doesn't look too happy.

"Hey, Yoongi, I--"

"Yes, please explain, Kim Namjoon." Yoongi drawls, his voice monotone and sending shivers down Namjoon’s spine. Almost shamefully, Namjoon turns off his phone and slides it back into his pocket, avoiding that icy stare.

"You're supposed to be helping, yet you left for what? To laugh at memes? Now is not the time to be fooling around with Jackson for heaven's sakes!” Though Yoongi doesn’t raise his voice, the severity of his tone is enough to make it seem as though he has and Namjoon has to restrain himself from visibly flinching away from him. After a moment of silence, Suga sighs, rubbing his temple with frustration. “Why are you so distracted today?"

Joon has been asking himself the same question.

"For one thing, they weren't memes and I wasn’t talking to Jackson. It was a picture of Jaejin's replacement. I was trying to see if she's arrived yet." He explains, a bit indignantly, before walking away towards the studio once more, hoping to escape the conversation.

He should have remembered that nothing escapes Yoongi.

"And did she?" Suga follows Namjoon, managing to walk fast enough to catch up with him and yet still look nonchalant and unbothered. RM sighs at the question, speeding up his pace, as he notices the studio door in the distance.

Jumping at the opportunity, Namjoon makes a break for the door, Yoongi calling after him in surprise. He reaches it, leaving Suga behind in the dust. Opening the door he sinks into a chair as though it were a refuge from the uncomfortable situation he found himself in. As Yoongi comes to a stop in front of the door, Namjoon acts as though he were there the entire time.

"Do you need something?" he asks innocently, and Yoongi rolls his eyes, walking in and closing the door behind him before settling into a chair of his own.

"Yes. I need you to focus on this project. This is important, and is nowhere near done if it's going to be our next title track." He murmurs, immediately setting to work, his mouse echoing in the silence. Biting his bottom lip in guilt, RM turns back to his phone, frowning a bit at the sight of the cracked screen.

Yoongi is right, Namjoon knows this.

They dedicated this day to work on BTS’s new title song.

Namjoon especially wanted Yoongi to produce it because of his incredible skill and work ethic. He practically begged him to take time off from his other projects to work on this with him, Yoongi is sacrificing a lot of his time just to be here.

Namjoon knows how important time can be.

It doesn’t help matters considering how this song is so essential to their comeback album. Promotion is still far off, but it doesn't change the circumstances. ARMY waited for them for so long to come back to them, it’s only fair that they give them the most groundbreaking album they can.

But RM can't focus.

And it’s for such a stupid reason.

Just because Jaejin is gone doesn't mean the world will fall apart.

He knows this, it's just...

Namjoon smiles a bit bitterly, turning back to the booth as he resumes his work once more.

"She wasn't there." Suga turns to Namjoon at the sound of his voice. Namjoon notices but doesn't pay any mind, continuing to play with the soundboard, creating his type of spell, his sort of magic. "In response to your question."

Yoongi doesn't respond, waiting for Namjoon to finish. That's the way he is, sometimes RM can’t finish a thought in one sentence and it takes him a moment to piece things together, what with everything else running through that expansive mind of his. Suga knows when to wait, when to stay silent, and allow RM a chance to tell him everything he needs to.

He's no stranger to listening to people, especially when it comes to Namjoon.

Sometimes, Joon just needs to let something out without anyone saying anything, and Yoongi won't say anything unless he feels it's necessary. He’ll listen, and be there for anyone to lean on, able to offer them the emotional support they need to carry on.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm a little nervous to meet her." After a moment, Yoongi responds to him, his soft voice carrying across the room in a comforting murmur.

"What's the big deal? If she's professional, she'll be perfect. I'm sure there's nothing to be worried about." He reassures him. RM nods, trying to concentrate once more, and put the thought of your arrival to the back of his mind.

Maybe Yoongi is right, maybe there is nothing to be worried about.

However, Namjoon can't help but think that your arrival will change their lives.

And who knows if it'll be for the better?

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: how are you guys liking Jaejin now? lol

chapter 5 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

86 notes · View notes