#i'm trying to get better at letting myself be a bit more open online

[wispscribbles]

why are you and your drawings so cool 😭🙏

afdsasdfasg thank you !! irl ppl would laugh at me being called cool lol - Have a ghoap as thanks <33

[unofficial-underfell]

Hey guys, I've been thinking about making this post for a long time and I think its finally time I do so. After realizing that some of my last work was done over a year ago, I don't think I can really ignore it anymore. While I haven't quite thrown in the towel on this quite yet, it's pretty evident to me and I'm sure to everyone who still follows this blog that my fervor for the project has drastically decreased. And has been kind of dead for a while. The comic has not been a priority to me, or posting online much at all actually. I did some soul searching and found that I'd started relying on outside approval for my art instead of doing art for the sake of wanting to tell a story and express myself throughout my work. I have limited energy and depression and sometimes it feels like i get such little progress done even though it takes all of my energy. While I'm trying to go to the gym more and build better habits my energy levels and mood still have a lot to be desired, and I'd rather use the limited energy I have to work on something I'm more passionate about.

I've been trying to grow my skills and absorb more stories and I've moved around a lot and started to listen to what I really felt, and I found that a lot of the art I want to focus on deals with heavier and more mature topics. I do love this story, and all of the characters and I feel like I could make a really clever subversion of what is expected from an Underfell comic. But I feel like in these uncertain times with the world and with all of the stuff going on right now, I'd like to use my energy to work on stories that hit closer to the things that I feel are important. So that's why I've not been posting much.

I'm working on a book, and I've actually got quite a lot of progress done on it, but because of all the horror stories online about people stealing author's original works, I'm kind of holding off on publishing any chapters before I can copyright the first draft of the novel. So my online activity will still be pretty scarce for a bit, though I'll still post occasionally on my @cosmicpixel01 account. I'll try better to not be so radio silent though lol. Even if that means I'll post something boring about my dog or books I'm reading just so everyone knows I'm still alive.

I don't want to call it quits on the story. But I also feel like you guys have been kept waiting to see what happens for a really long time, and that makes me feel so guilty. I will try to finish up the pages I have in the works, and I'm probably going to switch to a different format that is some drawings, some writing to finish the story. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to finish it the way I intended for you guys, even with all of the support and kind words and even the fanart that I've kept in a folder on my desktop. I am letting a lot of you down, but I feel like the radio silence is probably more irresponsible than just going out and saying something. And I'm sorry I've kept you all waiting for a not-so-happy update on the blog.

I hope that some of you will continue to follow me for some of my other exploits and see whatever other things I have going on, but I understand that you all followed me for Undertale so I don't want you to feel any sort of guilt if you decide not to. I'm just happy you all supported me for so long.

I'll try to work on this blog again soon, and if anyone has any questions, my asks are open, though I'll probably keep the asks private. Until then I hope everyone stays safe out there. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

-Avery

[the-offside-rule]

Lando Norris (McLaren) - Pizza Delivery

Requested: yes

Warnings: nope

Y/n sat reading through her notes in her parent's house. She had a big exam coming up soon and she had been doing nothing but studying and she was sating with her parents due to her learning being online now. "Y/n? We'll be back soon. We're just going to the shops." Your mother announced. "And we'll be back if I'm lucky." your dad muttered earning a glare from your mother. "That's fine. See you later then." She replied not even turning her head from her book. "Don't forget to eat darling. You haven't even left that seat." Y/n just blocked the noise out and continued on studying by herself. It had been a good hour or so when she was torn from her thoughts by the doorbell ringing. She let out a loud groan and walked towards the door to open it, only to be confronted by a pizza delivery guy. She looked down confused and realised he probably messed up the addresses. "Oh, I didn't order a pizza."she said politely. "For Lando Norris, he doesn't live here?" the delivery guys asked. Y/n shook her head. "Nope." she said popping the 'p'. "Well I have to leave it somewhere." He said handing it over. "Fine, that's fine. I'll just...ask around for where this Lando guys lives then." she said. "Thanks miss."

Y/n called their neighbour and asked who Lando was. She was given a few suggestive answers, almost as if she knew who this Lando person was but she shrugged it off. She had to get back to studying quickly, no time to waste. She eventually found out it was the guy to their left so she grabbed a jumper and put it on before walking out to go to the mystery person's house. She knocked on the door a few times and waited patiently for him to answer. He seemed to be taking a long time but he eventually answered. "Oh hi there." A brunette boy said opening the door. She practically swooped, even though she didn't entirely know in that moment. His green eyes were gorgeous, that much she figured. "Oh hi. I'm your neighbour to your right and well your pizza was delivered to my house by mistake." she explained trying to keep the stuttering to a minimum. Lando watched her, taking in all her features. She was quite pretty and she seemed like a very nice girl but he'd never met her before, never even seen her around. Maybe she was new.

"But anyway, I guess I'll be off. Enjoy your pizza." Y/n smiled before turning around to leave, only to be called back by Lando. "Wait, I can't possibly eat this whole pizza by myself. How about you come in and maybe have a slice yourself?" She had to study but before she realised what she was doing, she nodded her head and accepted the offer. She sat down and the pair started talking for ages, both had forgotten whatever plans they once had and the time for that matter.  She looked around and saw multtiplee different helmets and then came the conversation about him being a driver. "It must be so cool going around to all these different places and just driving." She smiled. "It's amazing, I really love doing it." he replied. "What about you? What do you do?"

"You're a racing driver, I'm sure you have a lot more interesting things to talk about than asking what I do." she chuckled. "Yeah but, I'd like to get to know my neighbour a bit better." Her heart fluttered. What.the.fuck. What a gentleman! "Oh well, I study physiotherapy in-" she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. Without even looking at the ID, she picked it up. "Hello?" she chirped. "Y/n! Where are you?! We're worried sick!" She realised she was meant to be at home, she was meant to be studying. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I'll be back, I just went for a walk." She hung up and quickly stood up. "I'm so sorry to cut this short but I have ton get home. It was lovely meeting you though." Lando stood up and walked her to the door. "Yeah, dont worry about it." he said opening it for her. "Maybe we could continue our conversation some other time." she said. "I'd love to, just call around anytime after four. I'll probably be at home by then." Y/n and nodded. "Will do. See you around Lando!" she said walking away. "See ya!"

Once she got out of his driveway, she began sprinting back to her house, nearly falling multiple times too. She finally got to her house and basically crashed through the door. "I'm back!" she announced, trying to make it sound like she wasn't just out of breath. "Where the hell were you?" her mother asked taking her coat from her. "I just went for a walk down the street." she lied. Her mother gave her an unamused look. "What?" she asked confused. "Y/n, can a tree move by its own free will?" she shook her head. "Can it write?" she shook her head again. "Then I doubt a tree left you their phone number in your pocket." Her face went red as she saw a piece of paper come out of her pocket and in her mother's hand. She snatched and scrunched it up. "It's about time you tried to get a boyfriend though." She laughed walking away. "He's not my boyfriend! He's a neighbour!" she retaliated and let out a loud sigh. "Fuck sake." she muttered before opening up the piece of paper and smiling at thee message.

Here's my number in case you ever want to stop by and do a pizza delivery again

-Lando

[tmntkiseki]

Diary of an Idiot Trying to Learn to Draw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Part 1: Escaping the Comfort Zone)

Before we talk turtles and the early steps of my art journey with them, let's talk about me for a little bit.

Hello, most people know me by my online nickname, Star. I'm a perpetually tired gremlin in her late 20s from New England who still lives with her parents and two brothers. (I'm the middle child!) I love my two dogs to bits, I have a weird fascination with shipwrecks and maritime disasters, and I am a known art enjoyer to point of attempting to draw her own pictures. Sometimes it goes well, other times... ah, we'll get to that.

When I think about my history in terms of drawing, it all starts with anime. My first exposure anime was through a fairly obscure one called Sky Girls; I encountered it through Dance Dance Revolution: Super Nova 2 on the PS2, as the opening to the original OVA was one of the songs available in the game. I ended up watching most of the television series and I was quick to discover that, hey, there's an entire genre of animated television series that originate from Japan; subsequently, I ended up watching several anime that were popular during the late 2000s with Lucky Star, Haruhi Suzumiya, Clannad, and Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni all being shows that I watched during this period. It's difficult to say what entranced me so much about the art style quirks we so heavily associate with anime, but it's definitely had the biggest influences on my art; not just anime itself, but video games with anime art styles as well. If I had to name which pieces of Japanese media have affected me most in terms of art development, it would be Odin Sphere, KyoAni's works (especially Violet Evergarden), and Hidari (the character designer for three of the Atelier games and Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia.)

"Okay, but what about when you actually began to do your own art?" WELL, I can definitely say throughout elementary school I absolutely LOVED being in art class, but I didn't start seriously practicing until I was around 13; this was when my depression first reared its ugly head, but it was also about when I first got into fandom online. Now, the first fandom I actually made "content" for was Pokemon, but that wasn't drawing; that was fanfiction. The first fandom I actually drew for?

Call of Duty: Zombies. Yeah, I think we all have that one fandom we're embarrassed to mention that we were ever involved in. Regardless of the cringe factor, it was still important for me because that was when I first started interacting with other fanartists online and if I hadn't spent so much time drawing fanart of a bunch of WWII stereotypes while I was in high school, I wouldn't have laid the groundwork for what came afterwards.

In terms of overall skill, I'm definitely way better than I was back when I first started out, but there is still so much I have to learn; I do often look at other artists who are around my age or, hell, are even YOUNGER than me and think to myself "Why am I not that good?" and, ya know, art is an acquired skill that requires a lot of practice and due to my mental illness and lack of confidence/self-worth, there were periods where I would go for MONTHS without drawing anything, so the fact I'm not where I feel like I should be skill-wise is ultimately circumstantial (there are other personal shortcomings that have also been holding me back, but we'll get to those later). I have managed to learn to stop being so hard on myself and not be as perfectionistic, and I find myself drawing more and more for the fun of it and learning new techniques that'll result in better pieces rather than anything else. These are some of the Rune Factory 4 pieces I drew last year (all Arthur/Frey ship art, oops) and at this point I can look at them and think "Yeah, they're not perfect, but I also did a pretty good job."

All right, this is the part of the post where we finally get to talking about my experiences learning how to draw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles--specifically, the 2003 versions. It's been about a month since I started studying the show's art and even if I'm not the best artist on the block, I still have a decent amount of experience under my belt that learning how to draw them shouldn't be too hard, right? Right? I mean how hard can it be to draw four humanoid turtles?

Oh boy, of all the fandoms I've drawn fanart for, TMNT 2003 probably has one of the steepest learning curves that I have EVER experienced.

All right, what are some of the advantages do I have going in? There is my existing experience drawing, but I'd argue the fact that my brain is so hardwired to draw anime is an advantage in some ways. When I first looked at the show's art style (more specifically that of seasons 1 - 5), I was thinking to myself "How the everliving FUCK am I supposed to draw this?!" However, when I actually sat down and studied the model sheets, I was delighted to discover that a lot of the basic fundamentals that I already learned drawing anime bodies can be applied to the turtles; one of the only major adjustments I had to make was exaggerating the muscles of the arms and legs. Not only that, but one of the less human aspects of the turtles IE the plastron is actually incredibly useful as a makeshift guideline for the torsos; it quite literally divides them into chest, abdomen, and pelvis areas and I absolutely love it!

Unfortunately, that's about where my happiness with drawing the turtles ends and where my actual struggles start.

("Nekomata Mikey" from January 7th, which is probably my best and favorite turtle attempt thus far)

So, I suffer from a little something called "not liking to leave my comfort zone." It's not something that I'm incapable of doing, but getting me to break out of a repetitive routine and try something new or challenging is insanely difficult--no idea if it's a result of my autism spectrum disorder or not, but it definitely explains why I've hesitated to experiment more with my art and try new things... which is important if you want to further develop your style and improve. Oooooooh boy.

Now, I'm not necessarily looking to accurately replicate TMNT 2003's style, but I am hoping to maintain certain aspects when I draw the turtles. Stuff that is definitely contradicting what I'm comfortable with when it comes to drawing; the thick lines you see in a lot of the official art, the fact this show really likes using sharp angles to define physical features, the dark color palette of the first five seasons, the fact those seasons break the rule of "don't shade with black" that I've been taught from the beginning--a lot of stuff that I'm just not used to. It's hard not to become frustrated because half the time you have no idea what you're doing and have no idea whether it's going to look good or not.

Beyond that, there is the matter of the less human aspects of the turtles that are giving me a run for my money. I can somewhat handle the chunky three fingered hands and large two toed feet, but when I get to the heads and shells, that's where I start tearing my hair out. Even with multiple reference screenshots from the show and sassatello's tutorial on the head structure handy, I still find myself fumbling and making heads that are too angular and chunky (especially in the cheek area) or heads that are too round to the point of almost looking babyish. The shells are another matter entirely; it's weird because they are basically a dome-shaped backpack, but something about those things keeps throwing me for the loop no matter what angle or pose I'm drawing a turtle from.

*LOUD SIGH*

For all the struggles and frustrations I have, I'm still very happy to be studying and practicing how to draw the turtles. It's been about a month since I started pouring over the model sheets, taking screencaps from individual episodes to examine and annotate, and just drawing, and I've already learned so much. Not only that, but this whole experience of trying to figure out how to draw the main characters from an (almost) 21 year old cartoon has pushed me to look up... A LOT of tutorials for art skills I've admittedly been neglecting. Basic shapes used in the structure of the body, color theory and shading, all that good stuff. It is also a fact that studying the art of TMNT 2003 is exactly what inspired me to start posting all the model sheets and concept arts I have saved on my laptop. When you have a ton of art resources at your disposal, why not share them? Someone else might need them as much as you do.

I'm hoping to make another post like this in a couple months or so just to see how much I've improved, where I'm still kicking and screaming, and what areas I ought to focus on. Until then, take care and have a good day!

[monorayjak]

I... it's getting hard to live like this. Hiding who I am to so many people. It hurts. I wrote a thing earlier today and I felt I summed up the feeling pretty well I think, reworded a bit to sound better:

"It feels like torturous self harm to be fully aware of who I am and yet imprison myself in a fortress of a false identity that's slowly caving in around me."

What I'm getting at here... I think... I think it might be time for me to come out to some people...and I really need some advice.

As of now, only four people IRL know about me, that's my therapist, my cousin (who was genuinely more like a sister to me), a friend at college (I knew they were extremely supportive and they had no connection to other people I know, so it seemed like a safe bet to tell her (I was right)), a friend I interacted with occasionally in high school who has since come out as trans herself (actually what got me to message her, saw her online and wanted to ask so I didn't misgender her or anything, and we got talking and I quickly realized she'd understand.)

At the moment, I'm still living with my mom, which is fine, I know she'll support me in her own way (she's queer herself, she has internalized issues, but she tries). I know my university I go to, despite having once been a "christian college," have opened up and been supportive of most of the students who do come out in one way or another. I know at least a few of the professors there who are absolutely trying to be supportive to everyone to the best of their abilities. My therapist knows, as mentioned before, but he is also... well, he ain't exactly a pro with gender and sexuality stuff (still a good guy, he just messes up what he's talking about here and there, like using masculine pronouns when he talks about a transwoman (largely I think its because he usually talks about them when they first started transitioning, and I don't think he thinks about gendering them correctly in reference to them coming out... if that makes any sense).

The issues... well, for one, I live in the bible belt. My extended family (who we are finally trying to cut ourselves off from now that the only think holding us together (my grandmother) is gone) lives all around me and the majority of them are.........well lets just say they really don't like my mom being gay, and one of them bullied a kid he was fostering because, in his words, "the kid's a fucking sissy!" Yeah... not a fan of that uncle. (In related news I am genuinely afraid of that man because he is very fucking clearly not mentally stable and has talked about killing himself and others before (while preaching at church!) and he is... really aggressive and has access to guns) I'm too poor to even consider leaving the state, and with... well frankly I'm a bit of a fuckup who really can't live on their own... yeah... fun times. Insurance may cover parts of things, but... honestly I don't even fucking know. Like I said, I know my mom will try to support me, but she is also... well, how do I say this? She tends to not know how to react to stuff. A large reason I don't talk about stuff with her is that she has a habit of turning it around into something about herself (not in a manipulative way, mind you. I just think she doesn't realize why it feels bad to tell her something like this and then have her break down a bit because I didn't tell her sooner or because she didn't work it out herself or anything like that). Basically, if I tell her, its either going to go one of two ways.

She reacts negatively and turns it around about herself and takes the moment to be hurt she didn't work things out or that I didn't tell her. (Literally once opened up to her when I was little (like 11?) about how much I hated myself... she said the next day she spent the entire night crying because she thought she failed... I understand what she was going for, but, honestly not something you should tell your kid who just opened up. Practically had it ingrained internally "If I feel bad, hide it. Because my mom will be devastated by it.")

She goes too supportive and expects me to be willing to open up immediately. Basically just forgetting she can't push me into being out and honest because it takes time to work up the courage.

Both of these options are... iffy. To say the least.

[mejomonster]

Okay so hello friends I discovered this site today, when trying to find an app/place to write with low distractions:

So its got: dark mode, light mode, you can set a timer (good for a writing sprint), you can set a word goal, it shows just your writing and word count at the bottom, it has a tool to export your writing as a txt file when done. Its features appear the same on laptop or phone, useful if you're like me and sometimes type on the phone.

Of particular note: you can only backspace through a word, not further. I'd suggest trying to write for a while before deciding how you feel about it. I was initially annoyed, since I couldn't delete a sentence I disliked and could only really fix small scale initial typos. But I just started typing // when I didn't like a prior line so I could just go delete it later in editing, then I continued writing the sentence I'd want instead. After the first several minutes, I decided I kind of like this feature. Why? Because it got me to WRITE. I couldn't really second guess myself much, because re-reading and editing wasn't an option during writing. It will be an option LATER, but not during this writing sprint. Justwrite as another feature, doesn't really let you scroll up. Annoying to me, somewhat, since I couldn't scroll up and double check I was remembering certain details right. But it makes up for it again in getting me TO WRITE. I wrote 3000 words an hour in Justwrite. Just because I HAD to move forward and just tell the fucking story. A lot of what I wrote was good stuff! And I left myself little // to find and fix bits I wanted to work on more. And maybe useful in a story sense, I found my scenes felt they were flowing in pacing better. Possibly because I had to write them timely enough to remember what I was writing ToT (I don't have the best detail memory) so scenes couldn't dawdle long enough to get super stuck or linger on something for an amount of time that would start getting a reader lost or bored. In summary: the particular quirks of not allowing much backspacing and not much upscrolling? Make for faster writing, and a bit more of an incentive to keep a writing flow going while its fresh in your mind.

Anyway I wrote 7000 words today thanks to this site (and the app version on my tablet).

I really appreciate Low Distraction writing tools since seeing even just words underlined or editing tabs above a document quickly gets me distracted. Some current favorites: justwrite (site and app), https://novellla.web.app/ (I like this but I prefer the computer version as the phone version has no night mode), Writer Lite (a phone app I love for organizing writing as it works very minimal distraction but lets me change fonts and organize chapters and notes and projects and check word counts by project/chapter/entire directory - in that app I've written 192,000 words this year, it backs up to google drive and I have not explored exporting options yet but its definitely my favorite phone app for writing project organizing), notepad (when Im om my computer Im not kidding - the lower the distractions the more likely I'm going to use the tool), and honorable mention app.gethermit.com (its a useful site for sharing writing to someone to look at with password protection, and its also got projects/chapters organization, I both appreciate that it includes spellcheck and also hate that it's spell check means I NEVER write on the site I just use it to quickly store a copy paste writing backup online so I can open it up on another device).

[animehouse-moe]

The Iceberg of Online Manga - A Reading List and Print Wishlist

We get a lot of manga in English, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. We get a hell of a lot of fan translated manga, but even that doesn't cover the whole thing. Separated by language and culture, the "untapped" potential of manga is foreign to a lot of readers, myself included really. But it's because of that deficiency that I decided to start taking a look at interesting fan translated titles to find series to recommend to publishers (and potentially read), so this is a sneak peek into my ever-growing list.

It's also an open request for people to share their favorites from the online manga sphere! As a single person it's impossible to find all the hidden gems, so being able to share titles between one another can really help widen horizons.

Sui and Neri of the Twilight Planet / Tasogare-Boshi No Sui To Neri

In a way, it reminds me of Girls Last Tour, a sunsetting planet that explores the oddity of a du in their life. Not quite as bittersweet or contemplative through what I've seen so far, but still very pretty and detailed. Lots and lots of hand drawn background art, and some really good layouts and paneling.

Poison Poison Forest Forest /Doku Doku Mori Mori

Mushroom on Mushroom violence, with a healthy side of grim visuals. It's got all the punch you could expect, and has a pretty novel approach to what you could consider a revenge story. Still early on so not a mountain of stuff to go off of, but at the very least what there is is good.

Captain Momo's Secret Base / Momo Kanchou No Himitsu Kichi

Tsuruta Kenji, the mastermind behind the art of Emanon (and other series), need I really say more? Regardless, with Tsuruta's art behind a lighthearted and curious series of a woman travelling through space alone with a cat, it's an undeniably enjoyable ride. Though do be warned, there is quite a bit of nudity featured as Momo prefers going commando to wearing clothes.

Every Every Night / Yona Yona Yona

An incredibly strikingly designed robin hood-esque story, Yona and her crew go on nightly missions to try and steal back art that was originally stolen by a corrupt police force. Creative, expressive, fun, and impressively detailed and unique, it's got quite a bit of potential!

The Feared Witch of Tasihou / Taishou Kitan Majo

Mixing the Western practices of Witchcraft with a Taishou-era Japan setting? A cultural combination that I'm truthfully surprised we haven't really seen yet. Add onto that the incredibly unique and sketch-like art style (and the wonderful color pages) and it's just a super easy pickup.

Welcome to Hotel Metsäpeura / Hotel Metsäpeura e Youkoso

A little hard to explain succinctly, but this is the story of a trio, two men and a teenager who they find standing outside their hotel in the Finnish wilderness in the middle of Winter. Characters with... interesting pasts, it's a story about providing not just a house, but a home to this young boy on his own.

The Ends of A Dream / Yume no Hashibashi

This is one that I'm really quite desperate to get in print. It's an emotional story of a pair as they retrace their forbidden romance through the years that have evaded them as they reach the end of their lives. A painfully beautiful concept that I really hope to see licensed someday.

Will You Clean This For Me? / Kirei Ni Shitemoraemasuka

Alright, something a little more light and fun! A story of a laundry (though it's really sorta general cleaning) shop as they go about their daily life, even offering a few tips and tricks to better cleaning things. Simple idea that has some pretty clear care put into it, and is just the right thing to relax with.

Amber Days and Golden Nights / Kohaku no Yume de Yoimashou

Let's keep the good vibes rolling! Another specific interest series, this time about craft beer. Kenzaki Nana's a burnt out employee at a Kyoto advertising firm, but happens to stumble across the Shirokuma bar. With just one night she ends up pulled into the world of craft beer, and our story begins! Very fun and light, and a really cool area to see explored by manga.

The Dragon, The Hero, and The Courier / Ryuu to Yuusha to Haitatsunin

Nothing like some good old comedy at the expense of someone else. Yoshida, a half elf, is a mail carrier for the Imperial City of Idazig that will deliver mail to anyone, anywhere. With the breadth of fantasy and middle-ages history expressed early on, there's a lot of creative potential for humor alongside the really wonderfully scratchy and sharp art.

Deep Sea Aquarium Magmell / Magmell Shinkai Suizokukan

My friend Phantom would kill me if this wasn't on the list. Anyways, it's a series about a deep sea aquarium employee in Tokyo. Very cool, very informal, and incredibly beautiful. I love how much they work with blacks and darkness in the art.

A Coffee Shop in the Unwaking Town / Samenai Machi no Kissaten

I love stories that are incredibly odd and quiet, and this is no exception. Suzume one day finds herself unable to wake up, stuck in the unwaking town Lutetia. It's in this town that she works at the coffee shop known as 'Quatre'. From the moment I laid eyes on it I knew I'd enjoy it, a unique concept paired with standout art, it has such a comfortable feeling to its experience (as well as offering a few recipes).

Living In an Antiquarian Bookstore of The Karakida Family / Karakida-ke no Kosho Gurashi

A simple story about three girls inheriting their grandfather's shop in the heart of the largest collection of used bookstores, Kanda-Jinbouchou. A very calm and borderline mundane story that is supplemented with some truly beautiful art.

And that's all this list has in it for now! Of course I've got more I can chat about, but I thought these to be the most promising in my perusing of the internet. Best of all though? All of these are available (to some degree) on MangaDex! If you want to give them a shot they're there. And really, do feel free to add to this list with your own online finds, I'd love to find all sorts of unique and creative manga that we don't get to hear about in the English sphere!

[nhasablogg]

My goals for this blog in 2024

'Tis the season of overanalyzing everything about your life! So naturally I've been thinking a lot about the different spaces I occupy, such as this one, and decided I need to be a bit more intentional with how I spend my time online and offline. I'm trying not to overdo it though. Sometimes you also just have to exist.

Be transparent when I want attention. This makes it sound as if we're in a relationship LMAO, but honestly, a lot of the time I will pop in here with a random post, or a request for prompts, and it will be more a cry for attention than the actual need for prompts (although not always). Prompt + filling of prompt = validation and love and attention. But usually that won't be enough because I'm not always in the mood to write, or I'll write something short and not very good, and then I won't get the attention I was craving and I will get sad. Also not every fic will be a hit anyway. It's a fickle thing to base my emotions around. SO. Solution for this is to just tell you when I want attention, because that way I won't feel annoying and bad about myself afterward. Obviously this might not result in attention whatsoever, and also why is it your job to give it to me anyway, but that way I won't feel as desperate as much as I will at the very least feel authentic about my neediness. I am human. Sometimes I need things and have no idea who to turn to. I often turn to social media. It happens. I just want to be more honest about it next year. Maybe as a sort of therapy.

Kind of related. I want to be a bit more intentional with the fics I post. I've gotten better at leaving fics be if they're not working, rather than trying to finish every single project, but I want to let them take their time and not post fics just to post them if I'm not happy with them. That doesn't mean I can't post shorter, sillier fics I had fun working on even if they're not masterpieces. My enjoyment is just as important as the final product.

I'd also like to write more long, intricate fics, kind of like my Criminal Minds case fics. It's fun to challenge myself, as longer fanfic writing isn't my forte.

Figure out if I want prompts to mostly be open or not. I keep opening and closing them, mostly because I sometimes get in the opposite mood of wanting attention and get overwhelmed and don't want people to "demand" things from me (I know they're not demands, but you know how your brain sometimes gets). But I feel like the best prompts are the ones people will send really randomly because they suddenly got an idea. But maybe, if I stop making those "send me prompts!!!" type of posts I won't get overwhelmed by the amount of them. Does anyone have any input on this?

Stop thinking I need to do certain things to be a part of the community. I keep thinking that I should maybe interact with other people's fics more, or try to be a part of the community in ways I used to when I was younger, but the truth is that I'm not a fanfiction reader at this stage of my life, and rather than lamenting that I need to just accept it. Maybe that makes me a hypocrit, but I don't believe in forcing things like that. Maybe once I stop pressuring myself it will come naturally instead, but if not I need to just be okay with the fact that I'm mostly here for my own fics. Maybe that's selfish, but it's the truth. I have enough problems in my real life to create new ones for myself here.

Stop trying to restore the old blog. It's gone. I was the one to delete it, and with that a lot of followers who never returned, and everything I did on there. It's fun getting to give advice, but people don't turn to me for them like they did back in the day and that's okay. I'm not who I was back then. I don't have the same amount of time. Instead of trying to bring back traces of the old blog I just want to focus on what I want to do with this one, in the moment and in the future. This community has changed anyway. It's time I accept that. (this does not include my Throwback Project, which I will be doing as a way to honor the past rather than try to bring it back)

Do you have any goals? Did any of this make sense? Am I overanalyzing things TOO much? Let me know your thoughts if you have any!

[dogesterone]

Fellow HEMA gal here!

Any recommendations for good videos/visual how-tos of solo practice exercises (German longsword ideal, but i'm open to anything helpful). My instructor is great and all, but I need some more resources for outside of class and our club is not super 'online' so I don't really have any video or photo guides handy for the stuff we do during practice and the books/written guides he recommends/made only go so far when I usually need to watch someone do a movement to properly grasp it.

I've been getting over a leg injury for a few months, so I'm hoping to brush up a little so I don't totally embarrass myself when I show up again in August after missing most of March-July 😅

okay i got around to answering this WAY LATER than i hoped to but here are a few things that immediately come to mind that you don't need a sword for:

Cat toy (Point control) - Attach a tennis ball to a string and hang it from high up, like on the ceiling or in a doorway or something. Have the tennis ball at around chest or neck level. Using a sword of your choice or any approximation of said sword, try thrusting at the tennis ball. If you hit it, great! do it again. You can let the tennis ball swing to increase variability and difficulty in this exercise, and you can tie knots in the string to raise the tennis ball up to head level, if you'd like. Start from close enough that you can hit the ball with just an extension of your weapon with your arms, then back up enough that you can use a small step once you're comfortable with that. As you get more comfortable, you can increase your distance so you're taking larger and larger steps to hit the tennis ball. The idea behind this drill is to help train your ability to hit the target you're aiming for while thrusting.

Shrimping (Hip movement) - Start by lying on your back on the floor. Make sure there's plenty of space around you. Keeping your knees together, bring your feet up as close to your butt as you can, keeping them flat on the ground. From there, push up with your hips to lift your lower torso up off the ground as high as you comfortably can. The soles of your feet and your upper body should be the only things touching the ground. Then, quickly pull one side of your hips back down. If you do this right, your butt will shoot off to the side opposite of the hip you're dropping, your legs will straighten, and your body will curl into a shrimp-like position with your body on its side. The point of this drill is to train your hips to be the main driving force when cutting with a longsword. While cutting, you should see benefits from pulling back with the side of your hips opposite of the side you're cutting from, just like how you dropped one side of your hips during this exercise.

T-Rex Arm Cutting (Hip movement) - Where the previous drill focused more on hip rotation, this drill helps train hip rotation and sinking the hips. Using an exercise band or even a long-sleeve shirt, tie it around your upper body so that your elbows are pinned to your sides. You might need an extra set of hands to achieve this. Then, using a sword or sword-length wooden stick, try cutting at a tire swing, pell, or even just an imaginary target in the air. You'll notice it's really hard to cut with your arms, what with them being tied down, and all. To get your cuts to work now, you have to really get the most out of your hips. As you cut, pull back with your hip on the opposite side from the side you're cutting from (so if I were to throw a cut from my right hand side, I would pull my left hip backwards). As you do this, also bend your knees to sink your hips downwards and lower your body. These two actions in conjunction with each other will really help you improve cutting power without relying on your arms, which are better for controlling range, angle, and alignment than for generating power. Once you've done that for a little bit, try it again without the restraint around your arms.

Here are some videos of other drills you can try if you have a sword:

Make sure while you're doing cutting drills that you never lock your elbows at any point, as that is really hard on your joints.

Hope this helps!

[gren-arlio]

Puyo Fans are in a drought. I'm here to give a bottle of water to them all. Or at least, I plan to.

All jokes aside, hello there. First time poster here, but I want to explain myself for that header. Currently, as a mere Puyo fan myself, we're going through a real bad drought, like we're rhinos who haven't seen rain in a decade. Besides alts from Quest, we really don't get much things nowadays when it comes to stuff, and a majority of the Madou Monogatari games are sadly not translated, besides Madou Saturn and maybe 2 other games I'm forgetting. Even the Puyo Nexus is running a little dry with that sort of stuff.

So why don't we change that?

I have a very specific game in mind: Waku Waku Puyo Puyo Dungeon. From my findings from both online and on this site, there doesn't seem to be a translation for the entire game. For small sections? Yeah, I've seen them, and I'm happy they're there, but we can do more than sections. How about...a majority of the main story?

...At least for Schezo's route.

For those unaware, the game has 3 stories, the protagonist varying, but it's the ARS Trio from COMPILE, Arle, Rulue, and Schezo.

AKA: These Guys.

And I plan to translate a good amount of Schezo's story for the time being. This is mostly for the main story, as mentioned before, and some stuff mentioned in the in-game Bulletin Board. If you wish to try to do the other two, by all means, go ahead, the more the merrier. I've done some bits already before even making this post, and some parts range from Schezo calling Rulue a bitch to him giving Serilly therapy (Trust me, it makes sense.) It's a chaotic ride and I'm all for it.

So how will I do this, you may ask.

Unfortunately, I have a severe case of I'm Broke As Hell and cannot afford a SEGA Saturn, let alone the game itself. Thankfully, I do have what other people gave back then, especially on more niche YouTube Videos, Niconico, list goes on. If someone has the game and is willing to help just a bit, please let me know! Any help would be greatly appreciated.

This is one of the videos in question. It's the opening to Schezo's story, probably the best story out of the main ARS Trio. It shows off a bit of the gameplay as well as bits of story. As of posting this, I'm only about halfway through the video itself (When you fight Skeleton-T) and trust me, doing this takes a lot of time.

I also just want to mention that Schezo swears. A lot, actually, no one is truly safe from his way of words. On one hand, if we want to stick to the kid friendly Puyo stuff we're mostly used to, I could edit them out...But on the other, he does so often that I just want to keep them to show how funny he is with this stuff.

A few more things before I conclude:

I do NOT speak fluent Japanese, at most I can do a few phrases. This is mostly being done with stuff like translators, context clues, and some help from friends.

Translating takes time. A lot of it. Please do not expect me to do full videos within a day or two. These can take as long as a few weeks, or about as short as three or so days. Also, I have school, so there's that. However, if you wish me to translate a few bits of lines to see what they mean, that's fine!

Some of the translations might not be correct, and if they don't seem correct, or flat out aren't, let me know! I won't take any offense to it and it'll help out a lot!

Credit is something that might get brought up. If someone uses this to make let's say...a English Patch, then yeah, I'd like to be noted for that. Otherwise, it's for everyone.

If you wish to do your own translation, or do another storyline, by all means, go ahead! I'd love to see what others see, and it'll make the workload a lot better for everyone.

With that, that'll be all. Thanks for reading!

[fairytalesandfandoms]

I survived the Rhys Darby show, it was good

Managed to NOT be late despite the buses and trains, as the time listed on the ticket was actually when doors opened and not when the show started. On the one hand I'm glad I wasn't actually as tight for time as I had expected, on the other hand I was slightly annoyed at them not being more specific. Yes it probably is common sense, however when have I had that?

I had never been in the Pavilion before. It had all the usual cupids and curlicues and so on, but someone had decided to paint everything in gloss paint in shades of pink, cream, and beige. It was like being inside a Victorian ice cream and it was awesome.

I completely forgot I'd booked a seat in THE SECOND ROW. I was like 'I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die of fandom'

Needless to say *Gonzo Muppet Christmas Carol voice* I did NOT die

Janey Godley was on first, and I've seen one or two of her Nicola Sturgeon voiceover things ages ago, but I've never seen her on stage. She was pretty good.

Steve Wrigley was on next and also pretty good, there were a couple of his jokes I think weren't my sense of humour but like, overall it was fine.

Then they had a BREAK (I had to try not to be annoyed, but the whole way through I was trying to do maths to figure out when it was likely to finish so I could get the train back)

Then they had THE MAN HIMSELF

Somehow even better than I expected

He was doing different bits he'd done before, most of which I'd seen online but that didn't make them any less funny, and he managed to do all the ones I'd hoped he'd do

Seriously, I forgot how good he was

I actually had tears in my eyes from laughing at the imaginary jetpack

To all the Darby fanciers out there: yes he was looking... good? I mean, he looked the same as he does in pictures or videos, but I wasn't, like, overawed by any one physical aspect. He was Rhys Darby but also Just Some Dude. I did try to do the whole '👀 I am looking respectfully' thing, especially when he was doing a joke about skinny jeans and wallets, but I always feel like I'm missing some important frame of reference for that sort of thing. I was too busy laughing, I guess. And I'd been trying to mentally prepare myself for his entrance before the show started, so it must have worked.

I know, I know, I feel like I've let the whole fandom down

ANYWAY.

You know how people always go 'don't make that face, it'll stick when the wind changes?' That's how my face felt afterwards, like it was going to be stuck laughing forever, which I suppose is not the worst thing (tries not to think of the Joker)

And, cherry on top, you can see me in the crowd selfie he and Steve did at the end (bright blue jacket on the left)

After getting the train and bus home I got back at about midnight but it was SO worth it and I managed not to fall asleep at work today.

[nian-7]

Heyo, I think matchup reqs are open but if not feel free to ignore (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

If it's alright I'd like a romantic and platonic match up for Pjsk and bsd (if not just romantic/ pjsk is fine)

Info:

My names Karma

I'm a minor, 17

I'm afab but I'm Genderfluid and use all pronouns

I'm pretty short for my age, 5’1 the last time I checked unfortunately, sobs. I don't get out much besides going to work for money so I'm pale as hell. I have freckles pretty much everywhere not a whole lot but they're definitely noticeable. I am cursed with a baby face, it gets better when I put on my glasses though, im cursed with terrible vision, I'm not allowed to drive without my glasses it's that bad

My hair is a shaggy wolf cut with curtain bangs, I'm a natural blonde but I always dye my hair ginger cause it's my favorite look on me (I'm trying to look like Chuuya cause I love him sm)

I'm an INFP-T, I'm also Asexual and Panromantic (slightly woman leaning but not an insane amount) I dress in dark academia style almost always: cardigans, sweater vests, long over coats paired with sweaters underneath. I'm very much trying to be that person you fall in love with in the book store 

When I'm in public alone I am very much socially awkward and anxious. I keep to myself and I am terrified of causing trouble for anyone

I tend to be drawn to more loud people; or more like popular/louder people adopt me out of the blue and I go along with it (which is funny considering I'm usually quiet) 

Once I've warmed up with people I very much match energys with whoever I'm with, typically just trying to make friends laugh. I value people's happiness very much

If we're out at a mall or something I'm quieter, but in private I can get very loud 

I also have a very close group of online friends all over the world (Some of us are meeting up soon and I'm very excited)

A lot of people have said that I also have big sister vibes

I do have diagnosed Anxiety and depression, typically I try not to let anyone see that side of me. I can spiral a bit into episodes where I just kind of ghost people and ride out whatever feelings I'm dealing with, then come back about 3-6 days later

I don't really do well with anger in general, weather it be my own or other people's

I also don't really have any appetite most of the time (I'm not sure if it's medical or not) but this can cause me sometimes to get super dizzy out of nowhere because I've forgotten to eat/drink 

I'm a digital artist, and I actually write fanfiction on Tumblr as well. I absolutely love cats, I’d talk about my cat Hazel for hours if I could (She's mean to me but I still love her </3) I also really like Vocaloid/Hatsune Miku music (kinda not surprising considering pjsk lol), I don't usually mention it in person though cause it's embarrassing to explain that shes just a singing hologram

I also have a fox obsession, I own a huge fox plush that takes up a designated corner of my room lol

I don't mind most things personality wise in people, but I do wish to be respected obviously

I like someone I can poke fun at casually and who can poke fun at me as well

My love language is big gift giving (wether it be buying or drawing occasionally) and physical affection (Cuddles always ╥⁠﹏⁠╥)

I've gotten tones of jokes that I only go for gingers, but I have zero preference for looks

I'm an overly patient person and get a little annoyed when people aren't as patient (but it's not a complete put off or anything) 

I also am very much someone who has to be on time. If I am not on time I lose it a bit

I think that's all (Maybe too much ´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`)

But thank you so much in advance! I hope you have an amazing day/week 💟

hi, anon! i haven't read bsd in a while so i'm a little rusty so i only did prsk. hope you still enjoy!

I match you with... (platonically)

Saki Tenma!

-The biggest thing for you to be matched with Saki was the big sister vibes that you mentioned. The dynamic would just be too cute to pass up on!

-I tried to pick a more 'loud' or extroverted person and although I decided to opt for Saki instead of Tsukasa, I think you both would mesh together even when she's not necessarily as loud as her brother.

-Saki is like the person you can fall back onto in social situations when you get anxious. She doesn't mind taking the lead and helping you out when you get nervous.

-She's not someone who gets angry often and tries to be there for you when you ghost her or others. She tries her best to understand what you're feeling and tries to sympathize with you.

-You both having the same energy is something that would make the whole friendship mesh well and she has the capabilities to be calmer or quieter if needed.

I match you with... (romantically)

Shizuku Hinomori!

-Although Shizuku is somewhat different than Saki, I think she's the best match overall. The physical affection she gives to you is one of the big factors.

-As someone who enjoys pda/affection, Shizuku would love to cuddle or hold hands with you all the time. She kisses you in public and just loves to be near you.

-She loves the gifts you give her as well no matter what they are. She'll always gush about them whenever someone asks about something relating to it (whether that embarrasses you or not).

-She's a very light teaser and it comes off more lovingly than anything but she enjoys it when her partner gives her attention through light teasing too.

-Although a bit airheaded, she's treating you similarly to Shiho. Asking always if you're hungry or thirsty, being the talker in public if you need it, etc. She just gives you more romantic affection than sisterly affection (obviously)

[caffeinated-enigmathing]

Some personal stuff...

I have some things going on in my life right now that are affecting how I'm functioning on a basic human level and will limit how much I post, write or interact with all of you here. If you wish to know more, I will explain a little further below, but just know that I'll still be lurking here even if I don't write anything or interact with the community. I'll get to responding to any messages in time and when I'm having those better moments. Ty all for being amazing, inspiring people that continue to lift up others. ♥

My dog, Maxim, passed away on May 15th last year and with his death anniversary coming up I've been having a hard time enjoying the continuously increasing sunny days, feeling a bit like it's just an awful reminder of the grief I'm still processing. Also experiencing some spring fatigue and my sleep has been all over the place even more than usual. It's not been an easy month for me. Last week my parents dog, who was also Maxi's brother, passed away as well. And while the grief I'm experiencing for him is not the same, it's still very painful and also triggers a lot of memories that feel crushing right now. His death hasn't really hit me yet as I have not been to my parents (and my childhood) home to truly feel his absence. It will become a harsher reality when I visit them. I'm trying my best to prepare for that and also process everything.

Finding the motivation to write or enjoy things other people are sharing is becoming increasingly harder as the shock fades away and the numbness dissipates. I hope that's understandable.

I am truly blessed to have an amazing family and friends who are my support network in life and with their help I will get through this difficult time, although most of the work on that I will have to do myself. The pain of a deep loss is something you just have to go through and fully experience. I don't believe there are shortcuts.

Mental health struggles are something I think everyone goes through and I wanted to share my journey a bit with you all to remind you that even though we are all just strangers online, we share our humanity in many ways. The love, passion, creativity, pain and frustrations are things we can draw from to relate to one another.

All of you, no matter how you create or interact with the community here, have managed to inspire me and make me laugh, even when I'm going through the sadness of it all. For that I am grateful and wish all of you health and happiness. Thank you for taking the time to have this small glimpse into my life.

And as always, my inbox and messages are open, even though it may take me longer to get to responding right now.

I'll be back and I'll be ok.

And on that note... I truly hope anyone who reads this doesn't take offence in me grieving our beloved furry family members and any sort of comments of them being 'just dogs' are not needed or wanted. Let's all give each other grace and be respectful. ♥

[pbandjesse]

I am not feeling great today. Both physically and emotionally. I probably should have taken today off. But I did not. I pushed myself to hard and I honestly feel really bad right now. But I am trying to remain positive.

I slept okay last night. When we got home I got a shower and tried to be in a better place mentally but I was just feeling really down. I wanted to be with my family more. I wanted to feel more settled. I wanted another day off. I was very upset and James was trying to help but I was just kind of falling apart.

Sleep didn't help as much as I hoped. My dreams didn't really bring me any comfort.

I got out of bed and was coughing and uncomfortable. But I wanted to go to work. I did not want to go to work but I also did and was just having a lot of mixed and weird emotions.

James had packed me a lunch but I wasn't excited about eating at all. The bagel they made me was good. I ate it on the drive in to get and perk myself up. And it wasn't a bad drive. It wasn't even a bad day. I just did not feel great.

When I got to camp I got right into working on the drawing for the iron workers who are going to make the long house super structure. This was actually kind of hard. It was a bit like drawing a lobster cage. But I think I got the message across. And if they need more instructions or directions I can do my best.

I would do some more work on the schedule and specifically the cabin choice programs. Me and Heather had a conversation trying to work out more what the vision is. And I think we have a better handle on it now. The work continues but I think it's going to be really good in the end.

I would take a lot of breaks. I was coughing s lot and just feeling out of sorts. I considered leaving early but in the end I toughed it out.

I had my lunch over a two hour block while still typing away and watching TikToks. I would also do some sewing if the little felt bears I found in my sewing bag. It was nice.

I was frustrated that I thought my two packages were going to be at camp when I got there but they weren't and I was bummed. But we had some slips for packages so I was sent on a errand to get them from the post office. Where I had the most bizarre conversation.

The woman, when I handed her my four package slips, said "oo someone loves you" and I was like well someone loves camp. And she's like oh are you guys out there? And I'm like yeah we're actually open all year. And she goes oh I know that. And I was like oh okay. Like I thought she just was surprised about us being there. Then she goes I'm just surprised we have packages. And I'm like oh yeah we were surprised too because the note online said our business was closed. And she was like oh well we never drop off packages to you guys, we have had a deal since 2003. And I'm like. Oh? And then she alluded to it being weird I was coming to get packages. I left this conversation absolutely baffled. It was like talking to a wizard.

I walked to the 711 and got a donut and candy for later. And went back to camp. I would wait until I got home to open my packages. But the two others were camp things. One for Joe. And the other the contact paper we ordered to cover the branding on the signs.

I was very proud how close the color was. It almost looks intentional now. Me and Sarah would walk over to the woodlands village and it took a bit of time to measure out the pieces but we got them all cut and installed and it looks great. I was worried it would look like we photoshopped it so I had Sarah take a picture of me installing it to to send to the Smithsonian people. And pretty quickly after Heather sent the photos off they responded and thanked us for cooperating and we thanked them for letting us still have the signs. All is right in the world.

I would go home soon after that. I was tired. It was starting to rain. I was only leaving a little early. I talked to Heather about some of the stuff I could handle tomorrow. And then I was off.

I would get home around 430. And I was really excited to see that all of our stuff is finally in the house!! James had texted me through the whole thing this morning. The moving guys were apparently great and the one even asked for Tina's contact info because he liked the apartment so much. I thought that was so sweet.

I had thought maybe I would lay down for an hour when I got home but James was almost done making dinner so instead I got in the couch and opened my packages. The one was my birthday gifts for myself. A baby baggu, a baggu minu crescent bag with embroidered hearts, a t shirt that says "my favorite T-shirt" in flocked lettering. It also came with some free gifts. A note book and pens. A stress ball shaped like a half an orange. A charger cord. Some trinket dishes I'll probably regift. It was fun.

The other package was the wall sconces I ordered. We will probably try to figure those out soon. But I was not in a place mentally to figure those out.

James would go up to their room to record their podcast and I would spent the next two hours moving the shelves around in the living room to work best. They are not in the originally planned lay out but this ended up working out way better. There is still a lot to put away but I made so much progress. I even started hanging my looms on the wall. I'm really excited for the progress. I hope to start hanging more and putting more things away over the next few days.

I enjoyed my podcast while I was doing all of this. I worked on organizing our new pantry bookshelf in the kitchen. And moving things around. But I was getting frustrated because James said we would go get groceries together after they recorded and I felt like they record for to long. Like I know they are having fun and having hobbies but also. Hang out with me.

They would finish around 730. And they would help me hang a shelf before we put our shoes on and headed out into the world.

First stop target. My tension rod for the pantry bookshelf was lost during the move today. So James got me a new one. And I wanted binder clips for a storage idea I had. I also insisted on getting a $1 yellow chick but James said I could only have it if I carried it in the air the whole walk around the store and by God I did it. Silly time.

Then we want to Harris teeter next door. I started very very much not feeling well in that store. On the drive to the shopping center my ears had closed up and all of a sudden in the seafood section of the store they opened up and everything was so loud and I felt very sick.

But I held it together. We got the things in our lists. And went to check out.

The line was confusing though and three people jumped us and we were in line for a seemingly long time. But it didn't help that I didn't feel good. I helped James scan by passing them things from the cart. It didn't take long once we were at a register. I was just happy to get out of there.

We got home and brought everything inside. I went and fo up and a table cloth and set up my sewing machine on the ground to fashion a curtain for the pantry. And while it's a little short I think it looks darling. And after James got all the grocery says they took the trash out and moved all of our Lego flowers to the top of the kitchen cabinets and it looks so sweet. I really love how things are coming together.

Now we are laying on the couch. Sweetp is here. Things are good. I took the inhaler. Which has been an almost daily occurrence. And it helped a lot. But I am still very tired. I want to wash my hair though and get in bed. And I really hope tomorrow will be better.

Sleep well my friends. Be safe. I love you.

[dearemmett]

Dad? Is it really you? I don't know if you remember me, but I remember you

It is! I've changed @ so many times by this point ;3; But yes, it is in fact me~ (life updates under the cut, where I've been, what my plans are, etc)

TLDR; I left Tumblr for quite some time, as I made changes to my life and dealt with everything else. I'm finally on anti-depressants and trying to get back into the art grind.

But to fully update you all, I went to a really bad place mentally. I didn't want to keep going or do anything. The pandemic made things inherently worse as I was kept inside with nothing to do. I turned to streaming, but there's only so much that can do for me. I had a fight with my mom, moved out and to another state to live with friends, where I barely left the house, barely went outside. I was chronically online (Twitter mostly), and without a job, I had nothing to distract me at all. There weren't even any sidewalks where I was, so I wasn't able to walk anywhere. Shoutout to my friend Aimee for taking me Pokemon hunting or buying me gifts because it boosted my mood a bit.

My physical health also tanked. I do not have a single tooth that is not decaying and/or broken. I dealt with a few UTIs, and since I had no insurance, I had to deal with it by myself, that led to a kidney infection. I was in pain for a whole month. My knee is fucked up because I slept on a tiny couch. My sensory issues have gotten worse. My eyesight has also gotten worse. Apparently I'm also allergic to animals, so that explains why my breathing and allergies were super bad while living with my friends.

Another thing that tanked my mood were the gacha games. I got into Genshin, and lets just say the RNG hates me. I'd get increasingly frustrated and upset at having to pull till damn near hard pity, or losing 50/50s, seeing everyone have this amazing luck, that it was depressing. This one's no one's fault but my own, of course.

Now, though, I'm back in with my mom. She's a hell of a lot more understanding, I think, or at the very least we came to an understanding. She still struggles with my being trans, but we're working on it. My dad calls me Q, or Cubone (q-bone, get it?). I'm still struggling to find a job, and so I stream every night on Twitch, as well as having art commissions open. I also have a Ko-fi. As I stated, I'm on anti-depressants now, after so many years of being without, on the max dosage of Lexipro. We're in an AirBNB right now, as my dad was transferred up here, and is going to get transferred again at the end of summer, so moving isn't done yet.

All in all, things are (hopefully) getting better. The Pasta Mafia is still here, it's just changed shape. My current community molded it a little bit, so it has lore now, blah blah. You can find the blog here at @slimesyndicate, and I plan on posting shenanigans when I finally get the chance. Other than that, here is all the places you'll be able to find me! :) I do plan on coming back to Tumblr, slowly but surely. I miss it here. It's mostly still just going to be binges here and there for the time being.

For those who are still from the glory days of the Pasta Mafia, please know that I've remembered you and keep you in my heart to this day.

I love every single one of you <3

Twitter Twitch Ko-fi Instagram Discord Server

[megsforpresident]

Hello lover!

Can you write for Niall.

Y/n can sing and play guitar but never preformed in front of anyone because she gets scared and insecure . until one day Niall saw her playing and singing in his room but didn’t know she could sing and play an instrument because of how good she was he convince her to record a video of them both sing together and he wanted to post it which she agrees but under one condition which not to show her face cuz they are in a private relationship

I absolutely adored this request! its so fluffly and cute!

and as a guitar player myself was fun to bring this little scene with my favourite irish boy!

since Niall posted a vídeo singing cardigan i used that, hope thats okay!

thank you so much for the request!!!

i hope this meets your expectations! and send more if you'd like <3

okay here we go!

You were home alone since you knew Niall was out with Lewis for the evening, so you grabbed his precious guitar and sat on the bed, back against the headboard and started tuning it.

You and Niall had been together basically since he left the band, even if you had just stayed friends for a while, quickly that changed and you had been living together for about 3 years.

Something you both agreed on was keeping your relationship 'inside'. Is not like Niall wouldn't show you off or take you out all the time to spoil you and everything, you just agreed that it would be better for you. Niall loved you too much to let you be affected or even a part of his public life.

He had started it way too young and he knew how much that could affect anyone, so he never wanted to expose you to that. And you, well, you liked to keep it more to yourself.

Your work was enough and you liked to know a part of him that no one else knew. Also, you were his biggest fan and you really didn't want to be 'defending' your title online.

So now, here you were in your shared bedroom with his precious guitar and a whole bunch of papers with chords.

You were never to think you were a profissional or even that good, it was just a hobby you had. Maybe that was why you never really told Niall you could play, scared that you would disappoint him for not being that good or that he would laugh. Not that he would, you know that, but that early in a relationship and with Niall playing the guitar for about 10 years made you feel real intimidated.

When you finished 'Hotel California', feeling satisfied with yourself you moved on to Taylor Swift. Both you and Niall really liked her music and you were trying to learn 'lover' being one of your and his favourites.

Playing it slowly, you kept coming back to the start until you finally got it right. When you got halfway through, you messed it up and you joked around a bit before getting back to your goal.

That's when Niall walked in. He found it weird at first, thinking you were playing some kind of acustic version he hadn't heard of but then he recognised your voice and tried as careful as he could not to disturb you with a smile on his face.

The thing about Niall is that he knew you well enough to know you had a smile on your face. He opened the bedroom door, keeping very still so you wouldn't notice him as you kept playing.

You were halfway through the chorus when you opened your eyes to check if you messed up or not, and you noticed Niall. Immediately you froze.

"Hey babe." He smiled, getting closer to you and giving you a quick kiss on the lips before sitting in front of you. "Don't stop on my account." His tone was a little teasing but it helped you calm down the nerves, so you got back to playing the tune since you got it right and Niall started singing with you.

You laughed when you finished, carefully putting the guitar a side before reaching to hug him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"I don't think you can just get away with saying sorry with talent like that." He joked again, making you laugh. "How long have you played?"

"Since I was 15." You looked at your fingers, now in your lap. "It was always just a hobby and since you are a professional I guess I was just scared."

"C'mon, we gotta play together." He said, completely ignoring you. you both knew you were okay, and this wasn't a thing to fight over or for you to feel bad about. Niall just wanted to show you how proud he was, so he left the room to get another of his acustic guitars before sitting back on the bed with you.

He looked through your paper before setting his phone on the night stand, hitting record. He chose 'cardigan' also by Taylor.

"What are you doing?" You asked with a laugh, looking at him going back to his place in front of you but not before leaving a kiss on your lips.

"Gotta show my girl and her talent off." He smirked against your lips.

quickly he gave you a sign and you both started playing. You took it as a hit to start singing first and you kept switching until the song was over.

You both sat the guitars aside before niall crushed you into a bear hug like he usually did, making you laugh out loud, hugging him back and loving to feel his weight on you.

"Is she amazing or what?" He said to the camera when he stopped recording.

He laid back down next to you and you both watched the video before Niall asked you to post it, giving you a million kisses before you finally said yes.

After the dinner you both cleaned the kitchen together, with you singing as loudly as your voice would let you, a smile present on yours and your lovers face.