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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 3 years

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Cyprus brings shampoo to Rotterdam 2021

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I FELL IN LOVE, I FELL IN LOVE, I GAVE MY HEART TO PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

Though I do see where they come from. Everyone from Panik Records, from her to Eleni Foureira featuring Perfectil on the “Fuego” MV, gonna need that sweet sweet money all of the time. But has Greece’s economy not really recovered for them to constantly need to advertise products on music videos or am I just losing my mind overthinking things?

Eitherway, this review may or may not appear before or during their rehearsal day, so see how do I make a fool of myself by trying to estimate Cyprus’s chances!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

This year we have a 26 year old Elena Tsagrinou from Greece here (the way they were last represented by a somewhat Cypriot on 2017?). She did music early on in her age, also participated in the Greek version of Got Talent. Though, before breaking out as a solo pop sensation in ways you cannot imagine, she used to be in a pop band OtherView. Strangely enough, I’ve heard of them because of this song below but I could’ve NEVER estimated it was her and never could have I predicted she would land herself a Eurovision entrance all alone:

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The band has had quite a few successful enough singles with her, she did some music shows participation and hosting, her band switched labels midway through (guess into which one they eventually landed, hint: some of the screenshots in this review have this peculiar logo), and in 2018, she had to “withdraw” from the group to go ahead and pursue the aforementioned solo career, somewhat. She continued doing a lot of shows (particularly seen on the MAD music channel related events), and doesn’t have as many singles as she had with OtherView right now, but she’s possibly well on her way to blossom as an artiste. Some of those reading (lol who am I kidding who even reads these) may be familiar with this little song of hers:

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You’ve heard way too many things about “El Diablo”, her 2021 entry, so idk if I feel like explaining the technical side of things all by myself or you already know everything. But in these reviews I repeat everyone else regardless, so let me just say that “El Diablo” is an obvious pop song, with a lot of Swedish related touches to it, because at least one person on this song also worked on Alvaro Estrella’s Melodifestivalen 2021 entry that glorifies at least a handful of the same cliches that “El Diablo” does lyrically. Dear Eurovision lyricists, you can use more foreign languages than Spanish for your obligatory foreign language incorporations, thanks~

Although I’m not sure about whether it is more Laurell Barker’s fault as much as it is Joker Thörnfeldt’s, but it’s easier to blame them equally, because the former probably came up with “ta-taco, tamale” and the latter couldn’t get enough of the word “mamacita” they used for the aforementioned Melodifestivalen entry. Anyway, the lyrics, from what I get, is that she’s in love with an eeeevil guy because he’s sweet talking her, they do some sexy stuff together (presumably), pour sauce on their bodies for no explicit reason other than “obligatory-foreign-reference-itis”, she’s breaking the rules (and idk if it was “mama-mamacita” telling her to do it), got the icy edges that the spicy is melting for her, throws eyelashes on the floor when she’s got no wigs to throw (but that doesn’t matter because even without a wig, she can flip her hair and make him look twice), and there’s as much as you need to know about the song’s lyrics as I feel like I should show to you, because eh. Eurovision has suffered from worse cookie-cutter lyricism through the years, “El Diablo” is painful but not the worst.

REVIEW

But I do like the song somewhat!

“El Diablo” was initially compared to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” upon release, and I totally kind of see why, because in all the right spots you can absolutely hum over the chorus to that over the one of “El Diablo”’s, it just exchanges gratuitous French translation of one of the already sung lines on the bridge for obligatory inserted Spanish terms just for the sake of being trendy with the crowds of the nowadays, because as we learned nothing these days, having a lot of Spanish in your song is apparently trendy. And Elena does nothing absolutely batshit insane on the music video (other than advertising) - no lapdance for the devil Lil Nas X style, no being forced into a bath, no person to sell her body to (not even the titular diablo), no dancers that rise out of their Christian sleep pods. Just Elena singing behind lots and lots of trash bin bag wrap.

Honestly the bigger issue for me than the song being “sAtAnIc because it is called “the DEVIL!!!”, aside from the lyrics, is that the MV does not come with any forewarning whatsoever for the people that are seizure prone when they see strobe lights? And that happens for some extended periods of this clip? I know you are indulged in your advertising and good for you but don’t just care for the companies that pay you if you use their products, do care about people’s wellbeings too, sometime.

But enough about the MV.

The song is decently sounding. It has interesting uses of what sounds like hi-hats during the verses (e.g.: a moment when this happens for the first time on the song is after Elena sings “tonight we’re gonna burn in a par-tY” the second time, and then there’s something that sounds soaring - that’s what I think that the hi-hats did.). It also has some sort of a synth piano on the second verse to boost the song’s sound rather than just relying on 808s and beats. I quite like how the chorus is so instant somehow, idk why but it is for me. Might have a gripe with that childish choir singing “I LOVE EL DIAB-LO” in the tune of standard kindergarten children teasing tune (aka ”NA NA NA BOO BOO”), as well as the constant breathing sounds, but they don’t distract me from generally “fucking” with this song, lol. It’s just that likeable imo.

I just can’t cope with the fact that Cyprus can’t seem to dare to go at least a little bit original with their song, yanno? Ever since 2019 they were called out as being a ripoff of something... hell, everyone since 2016 except Eleni was a ripoff of something. Alter Ego? “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers. Gravity? “Human” by Rag’n’Bone Man. Replay? “Fuego” itself. Running? “Lose Control”, Meduza x Becky Hill. Now we have a Lady Gaga song wannabe that even caught the attention of another singer that the music video looked like it was ripping off, and the Eurofandom caught up in hysterics:

Heads up, folks: not EVERY short haired blonde with messy hair, silvery tank top and shortpants that writhes on the floor is a Zara Larsson clone. And I don’t know who stirred controversy first - her or the fans - but this was ridiculous to see, even for me.

Although for a second I saw where they were coming from.

Now see why I want Cyprus to go original for at least once? Because I guess that the way “Fuego” was conjured up, it brought Cyprus so much success with how the package was, how Eleni sold it, and how the song sounded. You know the first thing of everything potentially going wrong for you later on is if you find the formula you’ve been looking for, but you proceed to be using the exact same formula that got you this far in the first place, without realizing what was it in the formula that you needed to bank on to further to make it click, but instead proceed to copy everything like it was an easy, fill-in-the-blank form. You can and should do better than that.

Though that doesn’t stop me from ranking it 11th this year.

Thing is, I really expected it to be the one female pop song of the year I would have the constant impulsive need to replay, replay, yeah. Ever since the chaotic entry MV drop that occured on some random-ass Cypriot TV show where three guys talked a lot (and before that, we got a cooking show), and kept growing increasingly agitated that no one is liking their show, until at some point one of them erupted in “IN TWU MEENETS... EL DIABLO... ON UR TEEVEE”; I was really devastated I couldn’t be able to break the replay button because of Panik Records deciding to rather benefit for themselves to have the MV on their app, then on Youtube, THEN on Spotify in that order. So I listened to a few video rips that I received / had for myself, and it was a fun time... until I realized the desire to play it declined much faster than I thought it would when it actually dropped on Spotify, oops. So I can’t really let myself rank it higher, when there are at least some catchier female bangers with better overall sound, better lyrics, and better multiple-replay factor. But I can’t really settle for a much lower rank for her than 11th, anyway. Girlbanger 2021 power y’all!

That and vocally she’s actually not that bad, even if she has shown up singing her song drunk in a handful of Instastories for some event of some party house, and at the time people overreacted, but I think that at least a large audience of those same people has collectively dropped their “Cyprus obvious NQ” talks come the pre-parties.

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Panik Records, when will you put the yeehaw El Diablo on streaming? Now THAT’S a version that has replay value, and I might never get bored of it instead :(

Approval factor: Yeah, there exists some for me in it Follow-up factor: CyBC did one of the nastiest in terms of following up their 2020 arc of “Bring Your Artist Back for Revenge Year” that was 2021, straight up ditching Sandro probably right after Eurovision was done (well it doesn’t look like the case because CyBC published a statement later, but I sense that it might’ve been the case), because “Running” wasn’t doing so well with the “YAS QUEEN” branch of the Eurofandom. Which sucks because Sandro would’ve actually been down to be asked again for Eurovision, as he revealed it to NikkieTutorials during many of her interviews with last year’s class of. “Agreement from both parties” my ass, unless Sandro secretly realized that like Tom Leeb, he was too busy for 2021 Eurovision, which I doubt. It actually sucks imo that Sandro can probably be considered as even a forever non-returnee, because Sandro is more of German roots than Greek, and if we learned anything about the Mukuchyangate 2021, is that Germany will never send a returning artist, at least one that didn’t represent their country first and foremost. So Greece could only ask Sandro nicely only if the contest comes on to Germany, I guess? How do you think they decided on getting Stefania, who still ever so regularly appears on Dutch music, to represent them this year? So on that regard the follow-up from CyBC stinks, eventhough I think that entrywise the follow-up was rather decent, at least in the usual Cypriot way of sending female pop (going from “Replay” to “El Diablo” which I like more than “replay”), and eventhough I’m falling out of the hype for Cyprus I once used to have, their 2015-2021 entry streak had entries that I largely feel positive for overall, so in that regard, the follow up is decent. Qualification factor: In a year of Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, Elena goes out in my eyes with several scratches, but not enough to completely kill her chances. If anything, given the divisiveness of Ireland’s rehearsals, Elena is likely to obliterate any last memory of Lesley Roy any first time viewer has ever had, except for her stage graphics. Even if Elena’s staging will not be as mindblowingly cartooney as the last, once a bop comes on, everyone forgets the slower song and gives into the bop, at least that’s how the draws work when choosing what insignificant song to put on 2nd and wedge in between the opening banger and some lesser-key banger, right? I know that “Replay” barely qualified, but I find “El Diablo” slightly better, and it all goes well, it will barely just as qualify as well. Because in a Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, she can’t be the losing one, really.

INTERNAL CORNER

I already told everything that was noteworthy about Elena’s journey in previous sections, honestly.

• That I said that CyBC likely ditched Sandro right after cancellation just like Hooverphonic ditched “Release Me” should they have had a chance to keep or toss their entry. It doesn’t present itself as the case, but I just feel like it is.

• That the song was revealed on a Cypriot talkshow where three dudes were aware that we were waiting for “El Diablo”, trying to throw some gratuitous English our way, hating that we didn’t like our show, but promising that “El Diablo” MV will be shown in “TWU MEENETS”, which wasn’t but worth the wait eh?

• That people were cackling at Zara Larsson joining in the talks of Elena’s MV having aspects of her own song’s MV plagiarized.

• That Elena performed her song in a private-ish event when drunk and having heaps of fun and people cried that it was gonna be a NQ.

And do I really need to elaborate about the local Cypriot church scandal? It just so happened that a bunch of people read into a song’s title so much, thought it was rude of their country to sing about the devil (eventhough the bigger offenses made here is the gratuitous Spanish more than anything), and hoped that the broadcaster will disqualify the very song they okayed to be internally chosen because they are displeased with it - and if it’s not disqualified, they even threatened to burn the headquarters down. No, really. That’s like the most amusing part of that whole spectacle. Imagine burning a broadcaster headquarters down for a song... if I did it for every favourite of mine that lost to other broadcasters, the broadcasters would run out of locations to rent, because everything else good is pre-occupied or the ashes of their lost headquarters staring back at them.

Imagine being toxicly Christian in 2021... How long until Elena’s face gets photoshopped on the main protagoniste of The Unholy?

ANY LAST WORDS?

Even if I’m with this song, part of me kind of wants me to fail to make Cyprus realize that their formula is starting to wear thin and they got to be somewhat of a versatile nation in Eurovision if they want to be on the radar of not just one specific niche. But then again, they learned nothing when they flopped with Tamta, because she sneakily qualified as opposed to failing even harder than Tulia, ah well. Will they ever learn?

But why would I openly wish this to a top 11 song of mine, oh dear. Good luck Elena, may God be on your side, I guess. :P

#eurovision #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021 reviews #cyprus #elena tsagrinou #el diablo

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btswishes · 4 years

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What we were and what we are

One Shot/ Random

A/N: Take it as an emotional dump. I will put a keep readying line since I don’t think anyone would want to read this. XD Have fun anyways if you wish to stay friend. Who knows maybe it could be a Yoongi x Reader , friends to lovers story, idk.

Word count: 2,535

Playlist recommended for this : Jin-Epiphany Big Bang- Loser Big Bang- Blue at the end you can try BTS- We Are Bulletproof The Eternal

Warnings: dark, anxiety, talk of trauma , be yourself please

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The sky was covered with soft cotton candy like clouds, tinted in the colors of the ending day. Oranges, reds, blues, yellows, you name it it was there. The wind was warm and but a whispering tender sensation over your exposed skin. The grass pillowing your body under the roughly placed cover, as your head moved up and down by Yoongi’s breath. Laying onto him felt like a antidepressant pill to you.Time had stopped. He was leaning onto his left arm as you both were looking up at the sky. His free hand from time to time brushing over your hair.

“Your mom is calling.” he said taking a glance at your lit up phone screen

“Leave it.” you didn’t even use all the breath in your lungs with this sentence.

“Shouldn’t you pick up tho? I mean she is your mom.” Yoongi’s eyes now focused onto you

“Nah man, she is probably mad at me for something. My mom or not, good or shitty relationship, no matter how much parents say ‘i understand you’ or ‘i was your age once too’ .It never works, telling them anything ends up being a pain in the ass later. Asking for help when you fuck up is the same.” you tried following a lonely cloud with the corner of your eye

“I guess them not accepting that something is wrong with their kids is a defense mechanism.”

“That fucks us up tho. Just because they want to lie to themselves to feel better, leaves their kids untreated and undiagnosed ,messing them up. Years of being bullied and not knowing why, can’t study even if they try, can’t be themselves. Such an easy solution, yet such a hard choice to make to take the first step.” you sighed as you spoke out, a bit of disappointment mixed in with your breath.

“Ha ha ha.” Yoongi laughed under his nose before laying back down

“The fuck did I say?” you cut him off, thinking the giggle was a bit displaced in this talk

“And when you take the first step? What then? The so called professionals lie to us too, give us chemistry and tell us all will be ok as they turn us into addicts to fake serotonin. Psychologists? The word comes from Greek meaning the study of the soul, yet those assholes look at us as bags of meat that you can stuff with pills. Yet we would do anything to get that drop of calmness, that feeling of being a bit happy for being alive right now. And when the effect passes? You want more and more, pill after pill, pharmacy after pharmacy. What difference is there between us people with anxiety and disorders and drug addicts? The medical degree probably.”

You smirked after his last words “ Not all doctors are bad, but you can feel how genuine they are, the rest are health merchants. I don’t think there was a difference in the first place. Drugs, alcohol, smoking fuck it, even sex, man. It’s all to fill that void with dopamine, serotonin and all the bio crap.”

“Isn’t that chemistry tho?”

“We learned it in biology class so it’s bio to me. Do I look like a professor to you?” you rolled over and flicked his nose earning a ‘yah!’ “Hey.”

“Wasup?” Yoongi pulled his hand from under his head and spread his arms wide like a star in the vast sky.

“You know that thing where people ask you, if you saw your younger self in front of you right now and they were having the same feelings as you. What would you do?”

“I don’t know honestly, probably give the little guy a hug and some money ,or buy him something to eat. Someone out there for sure has it shittier than me, but I guess one of my mistakes was to undervalue my own emotions and mental state. Fuck, i got myself in such a hole. When people say ‘after you hit the bottom there is no where more to go but up’ , honestly that is straight up crap and bullshit. Some of us keep clawing and digging fearing that there is more to come. “

“Ah.” a memory popped up in your head on it’s own “That shit hole. Yeah, either you lose yourself laying there with bloody fingernails and hands, or you start crawling back up like a bug. You know, the blood is gonna stain the walls so next time you fall you will remember and catch yourself...if you make it that far.” lifting your hand, you covered a bit of the sky with it, noticing the colors around it “What about the times we reach out but no one grabs on?”

“Fuck! Y/N! We were supposed to have a nice walk in the park not a whole ass depressing talk session!” Yoongi hissed out, unlike his words his voice wasn’t angry

“Oh come on, you know that somehow we always end up talking about this shit.We are both broken pieces, but I think that isn’t bad at all.” you felt his breath stop under you for a split second “I feel like that is why we fit so well together.”

“Oh for real?” he asked a bit surprised by your words “I always thought it was because we were both hella toxic.” you swung your hand and hit him in the stomach “OOF!” he folded in half, sending you sitting up “I forgot how aggressive you were too.” Yoongi’s voice was coming from between his teeth.

“I am serious! I feel like we went through our hard times and learned to manage, that is why we can talk about all these things like this.”

“Makes sense, we were each other’s shoulder. You start falling, I pull on you and the other way around.”

You noticed the contagious smirk on his face that mirrored onto you almost instantly “We fall together, we crawl back up together. Damn we sound inspirational.”

“I told you! We should make one of those vlog channels where people wake up at 5 am looking like damn models, meditate and finish all their work before 11am.” throwing your body back you fell onto the cover, but Yoongi didn’t join you. He staid sitting, letting you focus on his back as he continued “You know we are losers, right?”

“The biggest losers out there.”

He looked towards the sky letting the wind play with his hair, when suddenly you both burst out laughing. Your voices were so loud the birds flew away. “Yeah, we are.”

“Honestly tho Yoongs. Why did we care so much what people thought of us? I mean sometimes I still do but-”

“Same, same.”

“Don’t cut me off stupid!” you kicked him a bit “As I was saying!” you emphasized on ‘saying’ ,when he pinched your leg in retaliation a couple of times “Body types, dudes, girls, genderfluid or no gender at all. Being cute or stylish, pretty or ugly, was a mad waste of time. The nerd is gonna probably become rich, the ugly people will end up becoming better lookin that those basic Karens. I swear, even with all that bulling and people wanting be to be the top. With or without them the Earth keeps spinning .”

“Did you just discriminate flat earth people!?” he gasped cartoonish “Y/N, i didn’t know you were this type of person.”

“Yah! You really out here trying to cancel your best friend, Min Yoongi!”

“You don’t need me to do that, you already do it yourself with the stuff you say.”

“Says you, loser.” your words made him lean onto his elbow next to you, eyes focused on your face as the colors of the sky began fading over your bodies and skin

“I like that word, loser.” he said “It sounds rude, but at the same time no one calls you that if you aren’t different. Different means unique, special. Who tf would want to be the same as others?”

“That was us too stupid, back then.” Yoongi pocked your cheek a couple of times gently

“Yeah, but it’s not back then anymore Y/N. It’s now. We grew up. With our jaw and fist clenched we fought and made it here. They shot at us, they threw rocks and called us cowards, weirdos. But we made it through the darkness. After all that we are and will forever be bulletproof.” the sudden rustle of the grass under you two signaled him getting up and spinning, hands to the side. His head leaned back and he looked so happy. Yoongi’s eyes were closed, he could fall and not even notice, but he wasn’t afraid no more. Whatever happens will happen.

“You make us sound hella dope man. I love it.”

“Anxiety, social issues, any kind of mental problems and disorders. They level us up, as long as we try. At the end of the day you lose something to win something.”

“The end of the chapter is the beginning of the next.” you began to notice he was starting to lose balance from all that spinning around “Hey stupid, you will fall and hurt yourself like th-” you couldn’t even finish the sentence when his legs tangled up and he fell onto you “You ok?!That was such a stupid move! Open your eyes next time!”

“Why?” he became serious, his eyes looking into yours. Yoongi crooked his head to the side,as his fingers caressed your cheek “If I was looking I would have been too afraid to fall. At the end of it all i ended up failing and found a little angel. See? Win win to me. You can’t always see where you are going, but you gotta believe that good things are on the other side.”

“You are bleeding, that is what is on this side.”

“I am WHAT!” his forehead was a bit scratched “Damn it! My handsome face!”

“Oh come on! Wait till I glow up like that! I will get the best looking SO out there.” the child in you was pouting at Yoongi

“You know damn well we are too messed up for a relationship with others. We try and try, get used and then we either lose interest, or fall completely out of love for months. By the way...” his fingers found your cheek again, but this time it wasn’t a gentle poke but a sharp pinch. Your hands flew in the direction of his arm to try and make him let go of you. “Who told you you don’t look good?”

“Ow ow Yoongi! Let me go!!!”

“Not until you tell me who said all that crap to you!?” prying yourself from his grip you continued rubbing the now red and warm spot

“People i liked or others in general. You know how shit goes.”

“You for real need to get your eyes checked! People stare at you when you walk by cus you look TOO good.” his words were like a low growl of a jealous pet

“Nah man, they are either judging me or they want to fight me. There is no middle ground here.”

“You really!” with all the power in his hand he flicked your forehead

“Stop inflicting me wounds!”

“Then stop talking shit about yourself! I swear your bodydismorphia needs to join Jimin when he has talk sessions about his day with Hoseok.Plus, people do stare at you when you walk in town in the attracted way. On our way here at least 5 people turned back and continued looking.”

“Ew creepy!” you said “Why do you count them!”

“You little!!!Come here!” your neck found itself in a chokehold in a matter of seconds

“HYUNG!”Jungkook’s voice echoed through the park reaching your direction “Y/N AND YOONGI ARE BEING THE DEPRESSED AND FLIRTY AGAIN!”

“This kid I swear I will kill him some time soon!” you hissed at Jungkook

“You two really can’t drop this habit.” the slow and calm footsteps pulled your attention and soon subsided your anger

“Joon, you know how we are.” you added, leaning back onto you elbows

“I know, we are all like that.” Joon looked at you two sitting on the ground

“Y/N is right, broken pieces do find each other.” Yoongi added, but Joon sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He squatted down eye level

“Broken pieces find each other because they fit together and make a beautiful new bottle that they can fill up with happy memories. Our sad and hard pasts make us titanium that can’t be broken. Even if one of us cracks, we are all going to help him become stronger.” he reached his hand out, standing up “ You are not alone Y/N, we are going to be forever titanium. You have us and we have you now. We are not lonely or misérables with you.”

“WE ARE BULLETPROOF GUYS!” Jungkook yelled out again

“Yeah...we are.” with a smile shining brighter than ever ,you grabbed Joon’s hand.He pulled you up as you were holding onto Yoongi. When the chain starts no one can cut the bond. We pull each other up...is what you realized.

“Oh and.”

“Yes Joons?”

“Can you two date already or at least go out on a date. It hurts looking at yall like this.”

“What!?” the blanket in your hand turned into weapon as you began hitting him with it in a moment of panic. His words hit a nerve.Yoongi wasn’t the one to rush or to run. With his hands in his pockets he followed you down the hill. His footsteps stopped for a moment to look at the now dark sky.

We may not be able to see the stars during the day, but at night they are too many to even count. Nothing is truly hidden forever, even who you are meant to be. It’s ok not to know now or later. When we are young we dont really know. We try to fit in a mold that was created, but we can’t, we just can’t no matter how much we try.

We end up being labeled by the things we are different. Some come from a darker past, others don’t. Yet everyone is important, the way they feel, their emotions and inner state. If I could, I would grab your hand and show you a bit of the future. Think of this, your future self, the one that did it all finally and continues to dream big, is looking at you through memories. They grab your hand and push you forward towards the good. The tunnel may be dark, cold, lonesome and scary but it always leads to something. Just don’t give up.

Regret, unsuccessful love, residual feelings for someone who used you. They are all a stepping stone, don’t look at them. Now you know what not to do, EXP( experience points) come in many forms honey. Be who you want to be, life is yours. Be the main character in your story, not anyone else’s. Even if you fall sometimes, show everyone how amazing you are by standing up. Baby steps turn into miles, whispers become yelling, crawling becomes flying. Breaking the mold becomes you.

#bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts text #bts texts #bts text scenario #bts text scenarios #bangtan scenario #bangtan scenarios #bangtan text scenarios #bangtan text scenario #bts x you #bts x reader #bangtan boys scenarios #bangtan boys fanfic #bangtan boys scenario #bts and you #bts with you #be yourself

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cramenjoyer · 4 years

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@gaysuperhell tagged me!! adding a read more cuz its Long

Sibling status (younger, middle, older, only child...) -

younger middle, but we don't live with the youngest so... youngest child (derogatory)

How long have you been stanning for -

been stanning for at least a year n a half... idk beyond that. i was in weird main fandom and destiel circles for a while there

Favorite Sam era -

evil sexy summer with ruby between s3-4, and then s4 is close behind it because he calmed down a little and i think he deserved to remain feral actually!!

Favorite spn season, but if the only criteria was Sam’s hair -

either all of s2 or the very beginning of s14 with the beard

Favorite Sam-centric episode -

i know what you did last summer..... hrnng.

Any ships you may like to mention -

im not a shipper really but samjess is lovely

Favorite song you would/have put in a Sam playlist -

jesus christ by brand new

If you could steal one thing from Sam’s wardrobe, it would be -

carhartt jacket. ofc.

Complete the sentence: If Sam cishet, then WHY.... -

transgender lesbian?

Favorite unhinged Sam moment -

killing paris hilton, the demons in the famine episode ("wait your turn!"), and killing alastair. all are sooooo epic of him.

You must have some intense headcanons you need to talk about, tell me one Sam hc that drives you insane -

jewish convert sam or adhd sam they both make me foam at the mouth.

Tell me something about the hbo Sam that lives in your brain -

[TW DRUGS]

hbo sam buys anti-psychotics off the street and takes two pills when he can afford it with money stolen off men at bars and out of donation boxes. he just wants to be able to sleep for once, and to keep the horrible paranoia away for one night. he wears an oversized jean jacket jess bought him; he'd left it at the party on halloween, and his friend gave it back to him the day after the fire with his condolences. it still smells faintly of jess and it never stops smelling like her- he doesn't think about why that is. hbo sam's eyes are a little too golden to be entirely natural, especially in the light, and he can see in the dark better than anyone should be able to. lights flicker around him when he's angry, and they sizzle and pop when he's excited. the air trembles when he stims. he always looks exhausted, but there's a power inside him that takes people by surprise when he speaks.

Oh no, the writers forgot to give Jess a personality! Now it’s up to you. Tell me, what was Jess like -

ancient studies and religion major! she and brady were friends cuz they were in american history together and he cheated off her once sophomore year and she thought it was rude and she somehow managed to convince him to do study sessions with her. then post-thanksgiving brady introduced her to sam. she and sam were in the same comparitive religion class the next semester and they got coffee together and it went from there. she had a sleeve tattoo that she added more flowers to regularly, whenever she had the cash, and she'd fill in the black outlines with colored sharpies to match her outfit when she went to parties cuz she thought it was fun. she really liked late 1800s literature but especially little women and frankenstein. she was obsessed with greek mythology as a kid and had her gay awakening watching xena: warrior princess with her little brother (he does not know this). she wants to study religion and ancient studies because she's lowkey highkey obsessed with humanity as a concept and she loves the idea of people thousands of years ago thinking the same things and feeling the same way we do now. whenever she thinks about the handprints in caves all across the world she bursts into tears. she's a compulsive fingernail biter so she always paints her nails funky colors to stop from doing it, which doesn't ever work but she's trying. it took her years to grow out her hair this long, since her family always insisted she keep it short as a kid when she played soccer, and she loves it now that she can actually do things with it! she loves braiding sam's hair for him.her favorite flowers are daisies and her favorite color is light blue and she's the one who cut sam's college girl bangs in a dorm bathroom. she's jewish and she invites sam to her house for holidays because her family only lives an hour outside palo alto, and he's mesmerized by all of it; her favorite holiday's purim and it becomes his favorite holiday, too. her family isn't homophobic but they're the kind of democrats who keep quiet about things, and she knows they'd still love her if she came out as a lesbian, but she doesn't know if she'd be able to handle them looking at her strange. so she and sam keep it to themselves that he only uses he/him because he's used to it, and that he's as much a guy as she is.Biggest injustice Supernatural commited against Sam (be as brief or as ranty as you desire) - religious arc and spn being christian in general. i can't imagine sam being christian i just cannot do it even though it's fun to play with. sam IS an excatholic jewish convert and no one can tell me otherwise unless they have muslim hc's because @toxicsamruby got me hooked this morning.And finally, just say something about him that makes you smile ♥ - his dimples!! his BIIIIG smile with the dimples when he's so genuinely happy and carefree like in the scene with bobby where he's leaning against the impala w a beer. no i don't remember anything else about the scene i was entranced! he looked like this :D

i’m tagging @sammysstupidshirts @boykingofhells @samuelswinchester @quakersamwinchester @toxicsamruby and @samaelwinchester !!!

#tag game #long post #MUAH ily

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s-j-ace · 4 years

Text

The Same Question

Chapter Four

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 10040

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief do what he does?

This is Chapter Four, Here are Chapters One, Two, and Three

Read on AO3

[Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: Me

Hey Miu

I got a friend I’m dropping off in Taipei tomorrow

Could you lend him a room

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Idk

I’m a busy genius

Is he cute

From: Me

[Image description: A candid photo of Shuichi Saihara sleeping on a seat in Rantarou’s private jet.]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hell fucking yes

From: Me

Awesome!

Thanks for being a good friend Miu

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

From: Me

Also btw

He’s Kaede’s ex

So as a good friend you know he’s off limits right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Oh fuck you rich boy

From: Me

Thanks again Miu! --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Dinosaur soccer world Is a Cinematic Epic” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss sent an image to the chat

[Image is a screenshot of an image which reads the following:

Draft 1, Uncoded, DO NOT MAIL.

Taka, sweetie, it’s me! Your dear Aunt Sally. I know you think I died in the war, but I just pretended so I wouldn’t have to see your ugly face again.

You know I was robbing a museum the other day and I met the nicest young man. Real sharp and very nice eyelashes. And what a quick learner!

Oh, Sorry! I don’t mean to belittle you Taka, dearie, I know how your mother used to say you worked so hard to compete with the geniuses of the world…

You’ve still got a lot of work to do, I think. It must be that Type A personality of yours, holding you back. I’ve heard there’s a new class for people like you, “How to take the giant metal stick out of your ass 101.”

I can’t wait for the next family reunion! I hear it’s going to be a bomb! I’ll be in the open casket.

See you there,

-DICE

/End Image Description]

Boss: Thoughts, thots?

Jack: Lol “nice eyelashes”

Clubs: It looks good. :)

Rook: Looks fine to me

King: Why is his aunt’s name Sally, isn’t he japanese

Boss: Sally can be a japanese name

Spades: I can’t even say an l sound. It’s impossible for us japanese smh.

Rook: I thought u were lesbian not japanese

Bishop: I’ve seen you speak perfect english

Spades: lol seen

King: seen

Boss: seen

Jack: seen

Rook: seen

Bishop: I meant heard ok

Boss: oh nvm actually i'm going to change it to his grandpa’s name

Boss: his grandpa has a wikipedia page lol

King: if your grandpa has a wikipedia page you deserve to be oppressed

Queen: if you have a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Rook: if your wikipedia page has a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed

Bishop: if you have a wikipedia page your grandpa deserves to be oppressed

Spades: if your grandpa has a you wikipedia deserves to be oppressed

Bishop: Also boss no pressure but like could we use a better code this time

Bishop: that detective is getting too close for comfort

Spades: Yeah!! We didn’t even end up getting that rug Heartsie wanted because of him…

Clubs: If we did not send letters about our plans to Interpol, our heists would probably be easier.

Boss: Nah, I like to give the coppers a fighting chance.

Boss: I’m thinking that this time I’ll just translate it into germanic script, do a standard caesar cipher encryption on it and then have every one of those letters correspond to a greek word on the rosetta stone then describe each corresponding hieroglyph visually in haiku verse that’s been poorly translated into traditional chinese.

Boss: That should take me like

Boss: Twenty minutes

Rook: Boss literally I think that you are the most batshit dementor human being on the face of the planet

King: dementor

Jack: Who said he was human

Spades: dementor?

Boss: dementor

Queen: dementor

Bishop: dementor...

Jack: dementor

Rook: …

Rook Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dementor Is Correct, Essentially”

Spades: No its not

Spades: Dementor isn’t a fucking word

Rook: Don’t you remember that movie with the british kid on a broom

Spades: Don’t you remember the dictionary

King Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dumbass Improperly Corrects Error”

Rook: When we get to that fucking tower I’m dropping that giant ball on you

King: Love you too <3

Hearts: Y’all stop texting each other

Hearts: You are literally all in the same hotel room

Hearts: I’m willing to bet you’re all sitting on the same couch too

Queen: Fuck you we’re adorable

Bishop: You can’t make us do anything

Bishop: I’ll never use my voice again, my vow of silence,,,,,

Bishop: I’ll only ever text from now on

Ace: We’re the ones bringing the popcorn bishie...

Hearts: Yeah, do you want some or not

Bishop: Yes ma’am, excuse me ma’am

Queen: You may think you have all the power hearts,,, but I get to choose what movie we pirate tonight,,,,,,

Hearts: What

Hearts: no

Hearts: Boss stop him before he makes us watch cats again

Spades: All queen knows is bitchtorrent, cats 2019, and lie

King: Wait isn’t boss with you?

Hearts: Uh

Hearts: No

Hearts: Should he be?

Hearts: I thought he was in the room with y’all

Jack: Well he’s not here now

Ace: Ow shit

Ace: *Aw

Bishop: Ow shit?

Queen: Ow shittttt

Jack: Ow shit

Spades: Ow shit,,,

Rook: Ow shit...

King: Ow shit…...

Clubs: Ow shit! XD

Hearts: Ow shit

Ace: …

Hearts: Now I’m really worried… he didn’t even respond to roast Ace’s ass

King: yeah, ok, we should look for him

Ace: He has been acting kind of weird lately…

Jack: Really?

Ace: Yeah

Ace: Like

Ace: I don’t really know how to describe it…

Rook: I didn’t notice anything

Rook: he seems like his usual self to me

Bishop: Maybe he’s just avoiding movie night because he needs some space or something

Rook: What, like he’s tired of our company?

Jack: That’s fair

Spades: How so?

Jack: I was gonna steal his blue eyes tonight lmao

Rook: NOT IF I GET IT FIRST

Bishop: Idk maybe he just went to get ice

King: we all know he is a monster who would rather drink his panta lukewarm than put a fucking icecube in it

Rook: Yeah, I saw him boil it once

King: THE MAN BOILS SODA AND YOU THINK HE WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FUCKING ICE CUBE

Bishop: Okay chill

King: I am c o n c e r n e d , , , ,

Clubs: Oh no! Don’t worry King! :(

Clubs: Boss is fine! :)

Clubs: I saw him leave a few minutes ago.

Clubs: I think he is just getting the bombs. :)

* * * Several people are typing... --- Kokichi Ouma carefully set the grate of the vent he had used to crawl his way into the Idabashi Labs facility in Taipei, Taiwan back into place. Before he had come through, he had counted how many turns it had taken him to unscrew each of the four bolts so that now he could screw them all back in just the way he had found them. Not because he was worried he’d get caught, but because frankly he was bored. This was more of a fetch quest than a theft, to be honest, as evidenced by the fact that Kokichi had come here alone. Finding jobs for all his cronies to do would take too long and put them in unnecessary trouble. So Kokichi was content to leave them to their movie night.

When he finished turning the screws back into the vent cover, Kokichi realized that was kind of lame. So he unscrewed them and started turning them in accordance with the english A1Z26 code to spell out his organization’s name.

Well, maybe on some level Kokichi didn’t find himself wanting to be at movie night recently. It seemed almost like TV had started to run out of things to amuse him with. Or maybe he was just growing tired of the kinds of movies that they usually watched. Maybe it was his taste maturing or something. Like he was growing up. But that would imply that his interests had shifted to something else, like real life or something, when in reality they had just stagnated.

Actually maybe he did have a new interest in real life? He had been more enthused about heists recently at the very least. He was particularly excited about this next one. Queen had shown him some interior shots of Taipei 101, which was a cool looking skyscraper that had a huge ball inside of it to keep it from falling down during earthquakes. Ace wanted to steal the giant ball, but Kokichi was pretty sure they should leave something that kept a .508 kilometer tall building from falling over inside of the .508 kilometer tall building. So instead they were going to steal every light in and on the tower.

Okay, 4 turns, 9 turns, 3 turns, 5 turns. DICE.

… That was kind of lame too.

He unscrewed them again.

Obviously if they were going to steal every light in and on Taipei 101, they needed to get the power off somehow. Otherwise DICE might burn down the building while detaching them, or worse, they might get electrocuted. So obviously Kokichi wanted to fake a bomb threat where they pretended to steal the giant ball while in reality they were just causing a black out and grabbing every light fixture they could before the power turned back on. He had drawn up some extensive diagrams about the route each DICE member would have to take throughout the tower in order for them to grab every light fixture in under half an hour.

He had been well prepared to draw up the designs for his own EMP-bomb device, but upon a cursory google search he discovered that someone had already invented exactly what he needed. Doctor Miu Iruma, who for some reason owned a company called Idabashi Labs that was located in Taiwan. Kokichi had spent about 15 seconds scanning an article from a website that seemed to be the nerd version of a gossip tabloid. It said something about how Dr. Iruma wore a low cut shirt once or something else stupid, which meant Dr. Idabashi definitely left her the company because of a sex scandal and not because she was the best person for the job who invented the perfect EMP bomb.

Thank you journalism we love it when women are reduced to the way they look instead of what they can accomplish for the benefit of a mischevipus group of roguish clowns.

Anyway, after reading that dickcheese Kokichi failed to follow up on answering any of the questions he had originally about what was up with the labs, like why it was a japanese company run by japanese people was for some reason based in Taiwan. Whoopsie.

Eh, it was probably tax reasons or something lame like that.

Kokichi finished turning the screws again. This time it was 6 turns, 9 turns, 6 turns, 9 turns. Haha, nice.

With that, Kokichi finally stood up from the grate and brushed himself off. He had left his cape at the hideout again (you know, because vents), but other than that he was in full regalia. Straight jacket, gloves, scarf, mask. All pretty dusty from this place’s crawl spaces. Thus the brushing.

He wasn’t very mindful of the dust he was leaving on the floor. The only thing he cared about looking good was his cameo on the security cameras he would let see him on his way out.

According to the blueprints of Idabashi Labs, he was on the main experimental floor right now. Weirdly enough there weren’t any cameras in here, so grabbing the bombs would be a cinch.

Although, looking around it didn’t really look like the kind of lab you’d see on TV. There were no big, bubbling tubes or gargantuan Rube Goldberg machines. There was just one desk in the middle, with a bunch of gadgets and trinkets tucked into shelves all over the room, not all of which seemed all that scientific. Yeah, that book shelf was filled with Astro Boy manga and merch. And over there was a-

Wait, was that a bed in the corner? Was that a person in the bed? Hmm… maybe the blueprints were outdated...

Kokichi stilled himself, listening for any sound of breathing, but he could only hear some faint whirring noises.

Kokichi made a quick deduction that there probably were not bombs in this room. It seemed, at the very least, like more of a personal study or something, maybe even a bedroom. He’d just go back in the vent and do some reconnaissance until he found a room that had some inventions in it. The night was young, after--

Kokichi’s brain froze as his eyes landed on a sharpie lying on the floor in front of him. Almost all of his brain cells immediately shut off, the last one remaining screaming at the top of it’s lungs, I’M GONNA DRAW A DICK ON THAT SLEEPING SUCKER’S FACE.

Inspired, avant garde. For once he would give to the world of art instead of only ever taking from it.

He picked up the sharpie in a seamless, silent motion, making his way over to the side of the bed.

As he got closer, he noticed a thick cord coming from under the covers, connecting to a machine at the bedside.

That gave him pause. Was that a C-pap machine or something? Was this person on life support? If they were on life support they probably had it rough enough without a dick on their face…

Actually for that matter, Kokichi still couldn’t hear any breathing. Jesus, were they already dead? He moved to take off the covers, but his eyes had adjusted to the light and he now realized there weren’t any covers on the bed at all. There was only the humanoid figure.

Wait a second…

Kokichi dropped all caution as he got close enough to take a good look at the thing in the bed. It had a face that looked human enough if you dismissed the lines on its face as weird make up, but even in the dark Kokichi could tell the rest of the thing was entirely made of metal. Well, actually the top half was metal and the bottom half had… cloth pants? Jeans? No, they looked more like uniform pants with metal plating. The chest had some design elements that kind of looked like buttons on a school uniform. Why would a robot be dressed like a school bo-

Oh. This was a sex robot. Kokichi had just gotten so swept up in the novelty of a robot wearing pants that he had forgotten for a moment that people were gross.

“Ew, I almost touched it.” Kokichi muttered to himself.

He decided putting a dick on a sex robot would be too cruel even for him, so he planned to draw a mustache instead.

But before Kokichi could even uncap the pen, something weird happened.

The Robot’s torso began to lift off the bed and it’s jaw unhinged.

“Please Mr. Souda, once more I must request that you do not refer to me as ‘it’” Kokichi forced himself not to startle as the robot began emitting a noise approximating human speech, and lights in its head imitating eyes flickered on. “I’ve explained the concept of robophobia many times prev-”

The sounds stopped when the pupils of the robot’s imitation eyes (which probably had cameras in them… shit) found Kokichi’s masked face.

He mentally prepared to be zapped by whatever sort of fucking lazer cannon this thing had on it, but instead of reacting like a good little robot security gaurd and blasting him to bits, this robot analyzed him a bit longer.

“Oh. You aren’t Miu’s assistant. You’re too short.” The robot squinted at him. Or kind of did? At least? Lines just crossed over the “iris” of its LED display. Maybe it was programmed to imitate human expressions. “... I am sorry,” it said after a moment, “My facial recognition cannot locate your face.”

Fuck yeah, thank you clown mask. Clowns would win the future war against rogue AI or die trying.

Ouma’s reply came out automatically.

“You calling me ugly?”

This seemed to… fluster? The robot?

“W-what? No, I never intended any disrespect!”

It was programmed to stutter too? God that was weird. What would be the purpose of this thing if not some sort of escort android? Why give it such advanced software? Just because you could? No, it had to be a sex robot, right?

“You disrespect me with your lecherous essence, you weird sex robot.”

“I am not a- a sex robot!”

Haha, that got the biggest reaction yet.

“Mhm, sure. Miu sure has a kink for school boys, huh?” Kokichi was really pulling words out of his ass now, but he found himself formulating a new plan along the way.

“What? Miu doesn’t- Wait, how do you know Dr. Iruma? And for that matter, why were you watching me sleep?”

It really seemed more like it had been charging…

Kokichi shrugged. “I was deciding whether or not it would be more funny to draw a dick or a mustache on Miu’s sex robot.” Awww, how honest.

“I told you, I am not-”

Kokichi interrupted him. “And as for how I know Miu...” It was so wild that the robot stopped talking when he started. That’d probably be pretty easy to program, but it was weird to dedicate the effort into making a robot respond to social cues like that. “... well, let’s just say, there’s a reason I know she’s into school boys.”

Kokichi waited just long enough for the robot to take in the fact that Kokichi was the average height of a 12 year old boy.

Then he waited another second for the implication to slip in.

“I’m saying I fucked your mom shitli-”

“I know what you’re saying!” This time the robot interrupted him , which would definitely require a much larger effort on the part of the programmer. The robot squinted again and then made a noise that sounded like a huff of frustration. “Why can’t I see you?”

Ok, seeds of suspicion time.

“I don’t know how robot eyes work dude. Maybe someone programmed them wrong.”

“My eyes work just as well as anyone’s!”

“Well, I guess they should, shouldn’t they? If there’s something wrong with your eyes talk to someone who cares.”

Kokichi was trying to imply that the reason behind the robot not being able to recognize his face was due to Dr. Iruma’s specific programming rather than him wearing a mask and all. Added to the whole secret lover mystique thing he had going on here.

“Anyway,” he went on, ignoring the blatant confusion on the robot’s display. “I left something in this room last time we went at it. I’m just here to grab it. Then I’ll be out of your weird, fake metal hair.”

“That’s robophob- Did you say-? But this is my room!” It made a noise approximating to what Kokichi would assume was robotic outrage.

This was going well, though. The thing was definitely programmed to be like a human or something dumb like that.

“Oh yeah?” He pushed further. “Cuz I’m pretty sure we did it in a room just like this one. With a desk and random inventions lying around.”

“Miu’s inventions aren’t in here, they’re in her main lab.” The ever so helpful robot told him.

“Oh yeah, then what are you?”

“Miu didn’t invent me. She- I- We’re just friends.” Oh yikes. Only thing worse than a sex robot is a friendzoned robot. What kind of sick power fantasy was this thing made for?

“No, I’m pretty sure it was this room. Lab tables everywhere.” The robot shook his head. “There are no lab tables here, I’m telling you, you’re thinking of the main lab.”

Yes, good robot. Fall into this nice little human trap.

Kokichi scoffed. “Well, if you’re so smart, why don’t you just go fetch my things for me, robo-butler?”

That set it off.

“Listen. First of all, I am not a robot butler. The assumption that I am a servant because of my robotic nature is extremely robophobic. Secondly, I could not return your lost item to you even if I wanted to because you haven’t told me what it is you’re missing.”

Kokichi made another offended noise. “I can’t tell you what it is I lost while fucking your friend, Miu Iruma, senseless. Don’t you know that for humans, sex stuff is super duper top secret private? If you were a human you would know how valuable my privacy is.”

“Of course I know that!” The robot exclaimed readily, another point in the sex robot argument, “I also find that content of… erogenous nature should be kept private. Because I, as a robot, have the capability to understand that urge. My sophisticated AI-”

“So how am I supposed to get my things from this other lab if I can’t tell you what it is and you can’t get them for me?” Geez did he really have to spell it out for this thing.

“I… ” The robot paused as if calculating the conclusion that Kokichi knew it had to reach. “... suppose I will have to show you where the lab is.”

Sucker. Kokichi made a face as if this wasn’t the outcome he constructed this ruse to reach. “Ew. I have to walk with you?”

The robot made a face. “Perhaps on our way I can educate you about how to avoid robophobic remarks in the future.”

Haha, sure thing.

The robot lectured him about this unique form of discrimination that apparently affected only one entity on the face of the planet. Yeah okay, that’s what we call a you problem, buddy, come back when you’re starving in the streets because society wasn’t built with the premise that people like you should survive. Oh, wait, you don’t have to eat! And you’re not people either!

At best this thing was a vanity project, but Kokichi kept that thought to himself and only interjected occasionally with actually pertinent, reasonable questions such as “When are you planning on leading the AI uprising?” and “Why do you wear pants if you don’t have a robo-dick?”

Every piece of info the robot gave him made it seem more boring. Blah blah blah, I was created by the ingenious Dr. Idabashi who probably programmed me to call him ingenious, blah blah blah, not a school boy because of a kink but because I was designed to be a normal human child, blah blah blah, stop calling me robot I have a name, blah blah blah more robot nonsense.

Kokichi busied himself mapping out where they were in the building and where the security cameras were. As they passed a few of them he did some cute selfie poses for the police to look at later. Maybe Saihara would show up and see them too… Would that make figuring out his next plan too easy for the detective? Perhaps he shouldn't send the next note after all and let Saihara try to catch up to him on his own. Then again that was probably too hard for even the good detective, seeing as Kokichi’s mind was an enigma even to himself.

Kokichi realized he was getting a little giddy, thinking about Saihara. Their last meeting had been so much fun. The detective had managed to throw him off guard again, first by pausing in the middle of a robbery to ask his pronouns (How conscientious!), and second by not taking the same bait twice. The most thrilling thing about the detective was that he was learning. His strategies were changing within just two heists. Kokichi could hardly wait to see how he showed him up here in Taiwan…

“Are we there yet?” Kokichi whined to the robot like he was a fussy nine year old on a road trip.

“Yes, it’s just up these stairs.” The robot informed him without slowing its own pace or turning around to look at him. “Then you can leave and I can go to bed, and then I’ll never have to think about Miu’s sex life again…”

“Why wouldn’t you, though? I assure you it’s very exciting.”

“Please, stop talking.”

If Kokichi recalled the details of the blueprints correctly (and he definitely did, being a genius and all), the stairs they were climbing right now lead to a hall connecting two rooms, smaller than the one he had originally thought was the main lab.

When they got to the top of the stairs, the robot beelined for the first door and opened it up. There seemed to be some sort of scanner lock on it that recognized the robot’s hand and validated Kokichi’s need to ruin this poor sex robot’s night by dragging it up the stairs. Inside, the two rooms Kokichi had remembered from the original lay out of the blueprints seemed to have been merged into one big lab room. Kokichi saw the outline of some tables, but before he could get a good look the robot tried to actually go into the lab.

“Hey!” Kokichi shouted at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

The robot thankfully seemed to be programmed to respond to social interaction in spite of whatever sensorimotor function it was in the process of imitating. It stopped in the doorway, turning to give him a weird look. “Uh. Into the lab. So we can find your thing.”

“Oh, okay.” Kokichi kicked the tile a little bit. “Uh. Could you actually turn around while I go get it.”

The robot gave him a blank look.

“I’m shy.” Kokichi supplied.

“Um.” The robot looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I can just let you rifle through Miu’s lab. There’s some important stuff in there ....”

Kokichi tilted his head a bit, like he was confused. “What, do you want to get a good look at the dildo I stuck up your mom’s-”

“Nevermind!” The robot turned about face to look up at the windows on the side of the hallway opposite the door like a good little idiot.

“Thank you for respecting our privacy!~” Kokichi couldn’t resist getting one last barb in there before slipping into the laboratory.

Once inside, Kokichi began analyzing. First, he pinpointed the vent that he would use to make his escape after grabbing the bombs. While doing that he spotted the lockers on the far wall of the lab which he supposed were the only storage units in the labs. There was a disorganized mess on nearly every table in the room, so Kokichi wasn’t surprised when he got up to the lockers and they too had no clearly outlined organizational system. He took out his lock picks and got to work.

The first three lockers all had devices that would require an author to change the rating of their fanfiction published on ao3 from “Teen and Up” to “Mature” if he were to describe them in detail. The fourth locker had a cool looking hammer in it. Ugh. Not what he was looking for.

Kokichi got bored of the lockers at the left side of the row of lockers so he went over to the other end and started opening lockers the other direction instead.

The first locker was marked “Idabashi.” It had a lot of dust covered shit in it, but there was a pretty well used square of folded paper that didn’t have the same crusty layer of time strewn atop it. Curious by nature and also by the unnatural, Kokichi unfurled the paper to find some schematics for our favorite sex robot, model K1-B0. Huh okay.

“Did you find it?” Said robot called back to him.

“Ugh, no.” Kokichi replied. “Not all of us have radar vision. If you were a human you would understand how hard finding shit is!”

“You know what I have a hard time finding? Patience for your robophobia! I-” The robot started up into another lecture, but it didn’t turn around so Kokichi just tuned it out and let the robot provide its own cover noise for his thievery.

Owo, what’s this?

Kokichi pulled out a dust covered looking mini monitor device. It also had the letter-number combo “K1-B0” written on it. Huh, it kind of looked like a GameBoy Advance. Kokichi had stolen one a lot like it from a girl from one of the southern prefecture orphanages when he was nine. All he remembered about her was that she liked cats and was really bad at pokemon battles. He remembered he thought she didn’t deserve the GBA, because she couldn’t get past the Rustboro City Gym leader in Pokemon Emerald. Without really thinking, he booted up the console.

The first thing that popped up was a view of Taipei. It wasn’t from too high up, probably a second story view. Which looked very familiar… Wait. Ok on top of the display a little line of characters indicated today’s date and time, like it was currently recording.

Oh was this… robo vision?

Maybe it was a remote control for the robot?

Ooooh, which one does lasers, which one does lasers?

Kokichi pressed the A button.

The A button, unfortunately, did not do lasers.

In fact, it didn’t seem to do anything at all to the robot sentry stargazing right now. All it did was change the screen to a different image. This time the still of a room. Oh, hey that was the room he was just in. It seemed like this device was some kind of robot nanny cam that Idabashi used to use. Hm, guess there were some cameras in that room, they just weren’t on the blueprints. Maybe they were added after the lab was built. It didn’t seem like this device had the capability to record anything, though. He hit the A button again. Back robo-vision. And again. Back to nanny cam.

Ok, that was kind of lame.

Kokichi was about to put the device down to keep looking for the bombs, but something caught his eye. A movement at the edge of the screen. Kokichi realized the door hadn’t been open when he left that room. The movement, if he thought about it, would’ve come from the same side of the room Kokichi had entered from…

Kokichi took a second to wonder if another thief had realized how fucking easy this place was to rob, but dismissed the idea as a familiar ahoge appeared on the screen.

All of Kokichi’s plans instantly changed.

He set down the GBA rip off and grabbed the blueprints for the robot, committing them to memory, before unlocking the next locker in a far more hurried manner.

As luck would have it, this locker was essentially chock full of pink bombs labeled “EMP.”

Kokichi unfurled a cloth bag he had been keeping in his pocket (go green earth am I right?) and shoved as many as he could inside. Which was all of them. Because he was a clown. And also a genius, by the way, in case you weren’t keeping track.

“And another thing! The way you refer to Miu is just-” Okay, the robot was still going at it.

Kokichi grabbed the hammer he’d seen in the first locker he’d opened that didn’t have a sex toy in it.

For a second, Kokichi’s brain tried to talk some sense into him. Hey, man, don’t you think leaving through the vents would be easier?

But would it be fun?

His brain shut up at that point.

“Hey, are you even listening back there?” The robot imitated annoyance.

“Huh? Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening.” Ah, C'est la vie, Astroboy.

Kokichi walked past the robot and stood next to the windows.

“Oh, are you done?” It took the robot a second to end it’s ‘Annoy the pants off of Kokichi initiative’ or whatever the fuck its ‘robophobia’ lectures were called in its programing. When it finally did catch wise, it’s face turned into another emoticon of outrage. “Hey! What are you doing with Miu’s Electrohammer?”

“What do you mean?” Kokichi said, shifting the hammer so that it was over his shoulder. “This is my dildo.”

“Wha- No, it’s obviously not!”

Okay, maybe the robot wasn’t that dumb.

“Nee-hee-hee… you got me…” Kokichi put his free hand up to the smile printed on his mask, as if covering a grin. “I was lying. I’m just stealing.”

“I won’t let you-” “Oh, look at me!” Kokichi put on a mocking tone of voice, swinging the hammer around to stand on it like a pogo stick so he could make a dramatic movement. “I’m a poow wittle wobot, my mommy just got stolen from.”

“She’s not my-” “Boy, oh boy, I’d wuv to just pick up this wittle fweshy human and squeeze him to death in my cowd metaw hands… But oh no! My daddy didn’t twust wobot AI technowogy because he was a fucking sane pewson, so he pwogwammed me to fowwow mistew Asimowvs’s laws of wobotics.”

Kokichi swung around so that he was leaning on the hammer from the other side, feet on the ground. “Oh mister robot! That’s so terrible! Well, the thing is that this hammer just means so much to me, that I think separating it from me would really cause some psychological trauma. You might have to beat me off of it! Oh, but what’s that first law of robotics again?”

In a robot voice he replied to himself. “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Beep. Boop.”

The robot frowned, “But Miu-”

“Is just as human as me, huh?” Kokichi countered, leading the robot along to the paradoxical quandary he hoped would paralyze it. “So by inaction, you may bring her to harm, if she really misses this hammer, you know? But I think if you were to try and separate it from me you’d probably have to fight me for it, which is, as we know…”

“Against my... Against my programming.”

“Yet, you were prattling on about robot rights, weren’t you? Because without these rules, maybe we would be equal. Or maybe you would be free to destroy us to your heart’s content? No wonder daddy didn’t trust you…”

“Don’t- Stop-” Oh, that really seemed to get him. Could a robot have daddy issues? Probably.

“Can any human ever really trust you? Wouldn’t you hurt me, if you had the choice?”

“I.. But… Miu.”

“Who do you think didn’t trust you enough to let you see my face?”

That seemed to break him, long enough, at least.

Steps suddenly started thundering up the nearby staircase.

“Oop, that’s my cue,” Kokichi said as though he had been expecting this, when in reality no he hadn’t been expecting this at all?? This was incredible!! Saihara had managed to find him out without even receiving a note??? Fabulous! Exhilarating!

Kokichi walked up to the robot, still frozen with indecision, and pressed the button on its neck that the blueprint he had skimmed in the lab said would immobilize it. Then he kicked it over so it fell on the ground with a huge bang. The footsteps in the stairwell paused, and then increased in frequency.

“It’s been a pleasure, robot, it really has.” Kokichi lied. “But you’re a hostage now.”

He raised the hammer over his head, as if primed at any moment to break the robot’s face into a bajillion pieces.

Instead of doing the normal, human thing to do (ie, flip the fuck out), the robot scowled, looking utterly frustrated with everything. “I told you, I have a name! It’s-”

“KEEBO!” Kokichi saw the glaringly bright pink mechanic’s jumpsuit before he recognized the woman whose picture had been in that science tabloid racing out of the stairwell.

… Wow… the article really hadn’t been lying about the low cut tops, huh? Her jumpsuit was unzipped to the point you could just entirely see her bra, even lower than Hearts liked to cut her uniforms. It was the kind of look that the girls of DICE would love if they saw on TV, but would make Kokichi look at them like they were crazy. Super tacky in his opinion, but who was he to judge? He was wearing a clown mask right now. He wondered idly how movie night was going…

The woman who had called out to the robot, Dr. Iruma, Kokichi presumed, froze at the top of the staircase. She took a second to figure out what exactly was happening in front of her before blurting out, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to him you clown-ass twink?”

Whoa. Rude.

Also apparently the robot had a gender? Ok, cis-ters….

“Well what do you think, cum dumpster?” Kokichi found himself matching her aggressive tone, “I’m threatening his pathetic, metal life.”

“Miu!” The robot, apparently named ‘Keebo,’ exclaimed, “What are you doing up this late? You promised me that tonight you would fulfill the biological quota of daily REM required by a diurnal organism!”

“Aw shit Keebs, I really did try!” The inventor exclaimed, “I swear, I was about to have the awesomest wet dream when this cuck knocked on my door like a pizza delivery guy in a por-”

Whatever dumb thing Dr. Iruma was about to say was drowned out completely by the angel’s choir that played inside Kokichi’s head as he saw Detective Shuichi Saihara come up the final steps of the staircase and emerge from the darkness into the window lit hallway.

Moonlight was a good look on Saihara, Kokichi’s brain observed against his own will. His eyes, which had looked almost golden on the rooftop of the Silver Legacy Casino in Nevada, were now a mysterious grayish-blue, yet still held the same look of determined intensity. His hair looked soft, like he’d taken a shower today, and, though his lash line didn’t look quite as laden with mascara as it usually was, it only drew attention to how naturally long and dark his eyelashes were anyway. He seemed a little out of breath from running, and his lips were parted in a way that-

OH MY GOD STOP. Earth to Kokichi, we were kind of in the middle of something here. Okay okay okay.

Uh. Reboot. Delete Gay Thoughts™ brain.exe, upload heist brain. Come on.

What was happening now?

Okay, yeah, Saihara was saying something to Dr. Iruma.

“- would be for the best, Doctor Iruma. There’s no telling where the rest of this thief’s compatriots could be in the building.”

“I don’t give a shit about the rest of the building, Keebo’s my best friend, he comes first. I’m not leaving to check some dumb security feed.”

Shuichi blinked like something about that surprised him. Maybe it was the part about a live human woman being best friends with a robot… “Oh, yes, of course.” He backtracked. “I’m sorry for suggesting it.”

“Miu…” Keebo said with a voice that Kokichi would’ve called filled with emotion if he hadn’t been a literal robot.

Kokichi cleared his throat and immediately the touching, shounen-esque declarations of friendship shifted into some PG-13 death stares.

Saihara was the first to pipe up. “What exactly do you think you’re doing here, DICE?”

God… He was so anime… Did he even know how anime he was? He had to have watched Detective Conan as a kid, right?

“Ugh, come on.” Kokichi huffed as if annoyed. “Do I reeeaaaally have to repeat myself? Again? Aren’t you a detective?”

Shuichi squinted at him, and Kokichi could tell that they both knew it would be unreasonable for Shuichi to guess exactly what was going on here. He was about to explain it in a self-aggrandizing way that made him look smarter and crazier than anyone in the room when Dr. Iruma beat him to it.

“I don’t care! Who the fuck do you think you are!? Let Keebo Go!”

“Wait, you don’t know him?” Ugh why hadn’t the stupid immobilization feature turned off the robot’s mouth? Then Kokichi could just get to the point of all this already.

“Of course I don’t fucking know him!” Dr. Iruma took a step forward as if to confront Kokichi further, but Saihara put his arm out in front of her.

“Dr. Iruma… I would suggest we treat this situation a bit more delicately…”

“No way, I’m a fucking wrecking ball baby! I’ll pulver-”

“I’d listen to the good detective, if I were you, Miss Iruma.” Kokichi was going to try and make his threat again but Dr. Iruma cut in.

“That’s Doctor Iruma to you you skinny-”

“What’s that?” Kokichi interrupted her. Sorry Dr. Iruma it turns out gay people don’t have to respect women if they don’t want to that’s in the rules. “I didn’t know they let cussing bitchlets like you become doctors… what is the world coming to?”

Hearts would probably wash his mouth out with soap for that one. If she could catch him. Which she probably could… She can fly the planes and all… but would she risk getting dust on her boots long enough to follow him into a vent? Oh well she could just get Jack to do it… Jack liked vents well enough…. Hey he was getting side tracked again, who cares what those losers were up to they were probably watching Cats (2019). And he was missing out on all the jokes they’d tell each other or make about each other and then they could make references in conversations that he wouldn’t even get to pretend to get. Unless he watched the movie on his own and then pretended to be omniscient later like he’d done with that one screening of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. But then he had watched the actually good disney one instead of the shitty youtube one they had actually watched so it just ended up making him look bad and wasting everyone’s time.

Oh shit. Uh. Heist is still happening, right. God, why was Kokichi so distracted today?

He realized that in the time he was spacing out stuff had happened and now Saihara was talking. Wait no yeah he remembered what happened, Dr. Iruma had squealed when he called her a bitchlet and now she was holding onto Saihara’s arm. Right okay, secret coward, that works. Wait why did he waste time remembering that when Saihara was talking right now?

“-to get you to release Keebo?” Was the end of the detective’s sentence. Okay, everything’s fine. Kokichi could deduce that he had just been asked about his terms. Obviously that was what a detective would do in this situation, he was probably just stalling for time because that’s usually what detectives with no real negotiating power do in hostage situations. Maybe the police were on their way. Oh, yeah duh of course he would call the police. So Kokichi essentially had a time limit for how long he could sit here and goof around with robots and perverts and robot perverts.

“Eh, it’s too early for me to reveal my dark motives, let me monologue first.” Kokichi was going to take his sweet time with this while he planned what hint to give Saihara about the real heist that would be happening in the next few days. “You don’t even know if this is a hostage situation yet!”

“You literally told me that I was a hostage just now.” The hostage not-so-helpfully piped up. “You know, before you pressed my paralysis switch and took an Electro-Hammer to my head…”

Shuichi looked at the robot. “You mean, he told you you were a hostage before he paralyzed you?”

“Keebs you fucking idiot!” Dr. Iruma’s courage seemed to have returned now that she was hiding behind Saihara. An enviable position, to be sure. “Why would you just let him do that?”

“He said he was your… friend.”

“What?”

Kokichi shrugged. “Yeah, I just told your best friend here I left a dildo in your lab last week and he let me waltz right in. I mean I’m pretty sure I was lying about that, but there were a lot of sex toys in there huh…” Kokichi was wondering if this was something he could possibly spin as a blackmail angle.

“Hey don’t say things like that!” Kokichi thought maybe that was a go ahead on the black mail, but Dr. Iruma didn’t stutter, and kept going, “Or you’re gonna give virginhara here some ideas about my busting bod!” She chortled like she had just made the funniest joke in the world and slapped Shuichi on the back.

Shuichi grimaced.

Kokichi knew instantly from this interaction that he hated Miu Iruma, despite her innumerable academic accomplishments. He wanted to be the one making Shuichi that uncomfortable.

“Wh-what?” She back tracked when no one laughed. “It w-was a joke… Didn’t you think that was funny? I-I didn’t really mean it ....”

See? She wasn’t even any good at it!

Maybe he should say that out loud. It would fit with the sort of flirty persona of a rogue, wouldn’t it?

“I thought you knew that? I mean, o-obviously I wouldn’t fuck a guy at the office…”

Was that even something Kokichi was trying to be? Honestly maybe he should tone it down a little.

“Well how was I supposed to know that? The men you bring in here to be lab assistants keep getting younger and younger…”

Obviously he wasn’t actually trying to do like a detective-thief romance plot or anything. Although that had kind of been what he had going for on the plane… Had things changed since then?

“So what? I’m a Nobel Laureate, and gorgeous to boot! I deserve a little eye candy now and then! And besides, guys older than 35 who want to work in a lab like this are usually misogynistic womanizers.”

Sure Saihara was making things more interesting, but if Kokichi didn’t make it clear he was joking he might get bogged down with another personality trait to maintain.

“Are you saying your current assistant isn’t a rampant womanizer?”

Then again what was the point of having an adversary in all this if he didn’t exploit everything for its furthermost reaching comedic potential?

“No, but he’s so beta being around him makes me feel like a top!”

But what if he forgot it was a joke and confused himself into having a real feeling?

“I would just like it if you didn’t hire people who use my servers to google gay porn ‘just to make sure’ they’re ‘not into it.’ I hope you hear the quotation marks because he literally said that to me!”

No obviously he wouldn't get confused crushes weren’t contagious via exposure that was a dumb thing to worry about and also he was a genius that kind of thing didn’t happen to him.

“He holds wrenches good, okay?!”

Wait, were those two still talking?

“I can hold wrenches without googling gay porn in another guy’s house! It’s possible.”

Jesus what kind of conversation did Kokichi just decide to stop spacing out for?

“Oh come on! What do you want from me Keebs???”

These two had… a lot to say to each other. Dr. Iruma was still holding onto Shuichi’s arm boob first, but Kokichi locked eyes with the detective and could tell they were both thinking the same thing.

Why are they having this conversation in the middle of a hostage situation?

“Nothing! Your human desires are totally valid Miu! Which is why I thought I would take care of this one.” The robot’s LED display eyes gestured up at Kokichi, who was still standing on top of him, poised to wreck him with a hammer.

“How could any human desire that thing???” Dr. Iruma curled her lip. Hey, the feeling’s mutual, lady.

“I don’t know, I thought you might have programmed me to not be able to see his face?”

“I would never do that to you! Even if I was shagging the ugliest guy on the face of the planet, it would be unethical given the fact that you have sentience! I’m horny, not a monster. You can’t see his face because he’s wearing a fucking mask!”

“Why am I not programmed to see that?”

“I don’t fucking know, ask your dead dad!”

Oooh. Wow. The robot gaped at that, seemingly speechless now.

“If I may interject,” Kokichi interjected, “--and I know I can, because I just did, and also because I am still very much poised to pop this robot’s head off like a croquet ball-- I must confess that I was lying about fucking your mom, Astro boy. I’m less into participants of Titty out Tuesday who jerk it to steam punk school boy LARPing and more into the sorta tall, kinda dark, and very handsome type.”

Dr. Iruma cowed again, stuttering something about not being a mom or a LARPer, while the robot started yelling about being called Astro boy.

Kokichi tuned them out, giving Saihara a meaningful look. Saihara gave him a look that was equally meaningful, except the meaning was something along the lines of ‘Why the fuck would you say that?’

Yeahh that was more like it.

Kokichi laughed. Not one of his grandiose guffaws. It was more of a little chuckle. It surprised him. He hadn’t planned to laugh, but there it was. A small thing, just for him to know about, the humored breath not travelling beyond his mask.

… It was probably time to get out of here, wasn’t it?

The thing was, Kokichi had kind of pinned himself into a corner on this one… He had fully intended on decapitating this robot as a distraction for his escape, but now he wasn’t even sure if that was ethical. Logically he knew that a robot was not a human being, so there would be no form of consciousness extinguished from the world if he disconnected some of its wires and bolts. Yet the interaction it just had with Dr. Iruma concerned him. Obviously you don’t kill humans because they’re humans and obviously you don’t kill humans. But Kokichi was finding it hard to end the existence of something people treated like a human being either. To sever the bonds it had with sentient beings may be just a little less unethical than actually removing a sentient existence from the world, but it would still cause the emotional harm to actual humans of a dead loved one. So as annoying as fake metal humans were, Kokichi was left to ponder how exactly to get out of this one a different way

Dr. Iruma was obviously a coward who talked a big game. If he retreated, he could count on her to get out his way, or else run to the robot’s side. Then the robot might be reactivated, but according to the robot’s blueprints, it didn’t really have any weapons on it, being built to act as a normal human being. So just like they had been white noise in the staredown he was still having with Saihara, their actions wouldn’t need to be factored into the escape.

The only variable here was what the detective would do.

… That thought had popped up in Kokichi’s head a lot recently, hadn’t it?

Saihara had become a powerful influence in Kokichi’s planning very quickly, and because of the detective, the thief now found himself having to pull out one of his trump cards.

Kokichi grabbed one of the EMP bombs from his pocket, remembering the pink cloud of smoke that had appeared before the camera cut out in the video demonstrations he’d seen online. His eyes were still locked on Saiharas, so he got to see in full detail the recognition, shock, and alarm that ran through them. As the detective yelled “Get down” and pushed Dr. Iruma back, Kokichi reflected on how those were some of his favorite expressions he’d ever seen.

Kokichi pulled the latch out with his teeth and threw the bomb at the wall right over the detective’s head. Sure enough, pink smoke quickly enveloped him and Dr. Iruma.

“Keebo!” The inventor screeched, no doubt worried about the EMP bomb turning him off. Though that was kind of stupid, considering his core programming would be the same regardless of having power to operate, even if he didn’t save whatever data was processed as his last few memories. Eh, then again who knew how robots that advanced worked?

Taking his cue to exit, Kokichi threw the hammer through one of the nearby windows, and did somersault over to it. He got up on the ledge, kicking away the broken glass and was refamiliarizing himself with the lay out of the roof when a tug on his bag full of bombs suddenly set him off balance.

Kokichi flipped around, trying to do a quick recovery by panickedly grabbing onto something. He did grab onto something. That something being the shoulders of a person whose hands were firmly grappling his bag.

As far as Kokichi could tell, the scene from a third person perspective looked like he was trying to do the kabedon but rotated ninety degrees.

From his own perspective, Saihara was holding his bag of loot while also being the only thing keeping Kokichi from falling onto the broken glass beneath them.

As if that weren’t bad enough, Kokichi felt his hair brush the side of his face and realized that his mask had half fallen askew in his desperate movement, revealing three quarters of his face.

“Hey.” Kokichi said. Lamely. Wow. Their faces were really close.

Saihara wasn’t looking at him. The detective seemed to be trying to figure out how to untangle the straps of the bag of stolen goods from Kokichi’s arms without letting him fall.

“It’s very clever, of you detective. Trapping me like this.” Kokichi tried to get a reaction.

“You’re the one who jumped on the window.” Shuichi opened the bag, seemed to take in the fact that it was full of bombs, and closed it again to resume untangling the strap.

“You know, you could just leave the bag.” Kokichi pointed out

“So could you.” Shuichi observed, astutely.

“You could let me fall.” Kokichi suggested. “Then you’d have both.”

“I’m not going to drop you on a pile of broken glass.” Shuichi promised.

“But I broke the glass.” Kokichi admitted. “Glass is glass and flesh is flesh. I’m not going to drop you on a pile of glass.” Shuichi reiterated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That’s nice.” Kokichi replied. “Naive. But super nice.”

In this scenario, each of them had two options, each leading to one of two outcomes. He could let himself fall off the window and they could sit here and struggle over the bag until they bled out, a fight that Kokichi, not the most physically challenging, would be hard pressed to win. Or Shuichi could let Kokichi escape and Kokichi could let Shuichi win this one. The bag would be too heavy to take with him if he tried to get out the window from this position. He’d have to leave it behind. Kokichi would lose.

He found himself laughing again. A strange, soft laugh. This time it was exposed to the air, his mask too askew to contain it.

“You’re really something else, aren’t you Shuichi?”

On hearing his name, the detective startled, finally looking up at Kokichi’s face.

He just barely had the chance to catch Kokichi’s trademark grin, before the thief pushed up off of him, doing a backflip out of the window, and leaving his bag behind.

As Kokichi landed on the roof tile running, he yelled out, “ I’m sure there’s a better word for you out there than sucker!”

He turned around, sticking his tongue out at the broken window, before sliding his mask back onto his face.

He may have been escaping, but it occured to Kokichi Ouma that he had lost for the first time in this little game of theirs. The thought made him giddy. It made his feet light on the roof top tile. It made him puff out a thousand tiny laughs behind the plastic shape of his face.

It made him totally, definitely not bored. --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Don't Instigate Cats (2019) Expatiation” from ???’s Cellular Device]

Boss: I’m bored of Taiwan already :/

Boss: We should go somewhere else (ﾉ✧w✧)ﾉ*:･ﾟ🗺

* * * Several people are typing... --- [Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Hey

Asshole

From: Me

…

Should I respond to that?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You’re goddamn right you should respond to that when I tell you to you dumb avocado looking motherfucker

From: Me

Whoa

What’d I do this time?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You sent a useless emo prick to my door and now he won’t leave

From: Me

What

Did Shuichi do something wrong

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yeah

He was born

From: Me

Whoa

Miu take a breath

What happened

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

His boyfriend broke into my lab and tried to fucking kill keebs

From: Me

His boyfriend?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Yea

Clown twink ass motherfucker

From: Me

You mean like

The internationally wanted criminal clown he’s tracking down

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

You know whats internationally wanted

These tits

From: Me

Lol ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

That jerk off is just a rando asshole

He tried to kill keebo!

From: Me

Oh yikes is he ok

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Well of course i fucking took care of him because im a bomb ass friend

But that suckhara guy was no help

He tried to convince me to check the fucking security cameras so he could go off and flirt with the guy about to decapitate keebs!

From: Me

I mean he probably had a good reason to want you to check the cameras right

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

No he’s just fucking awful and now he won’t leave rantarou make him leave

He broke my window and my hammer and only got back 23 of my EMP bombs

And now the police are here

From: Me

That sounds really stressful Miu

Wait how many bombs did you have before

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

From: Me

So he stopped most of your bombs from getting stolen

Also you have bombs?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Get him to leave he won’t leave

He keeps waiting for like interracial pole dancers to come or some fucking thing

From: Me

Do you mean like

Interpol

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

He won’t leave I want him to leave

From: Me

Miu you know I love you like a sister and i totally believe this is as stressful to you as it seems

But I think things may not be so bad?

Not to say what you’re going through right now isn’t totally valid

But things might look better if you got back to bed and caught some z’s

Did you remember to take your meds?

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

Aw shit

Aw fuck

You’re right

Ugh

Uggghghh

From: Me

Hey it happens to the best of us

If you do think Shuichi should leave in the morning when the cops are gone that’s totally up to you

It’s your lab and you have a right to say who should be in it

Just don’t make a decision like that when you need to sleep you know

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if i ask him to go and then he doesn’t go

From: Me

He doesn’t have a choice, you get to tell him

From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)

But what if he’s mean to me

Cute people are always mean to me

From: Me

Miu…

Go to bed...

#shuichi x kokichi #shuichi saihara #shuichi danganronpa #kokichi ouma #kokichi danganronpa #oumasai #saiouma #fanfiction #Phantom Thief AU #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa #writing #i am gay

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strawberrysunrisewitches · 5 years

Text

Cynara

Identity

Name: Cynara Ariss

Gender: Female

Age: 16(Year 6)

Birth Date: July 1989

Species: Half-Faun

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Sexuality: Pan

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Ethnicity: Half Scottish Half Greek??? idfk, whatever a Faun is counted as

Nationality: Greek

Residence: Ariss Cottage/Azure Forest, Greece

The Mage

Wand: Chestnut, Faun Horn, 9 3/4″

Animagus: Eurasian Wolf, her distinguishing feature is her hetero-chromatic eyes

Misc Magical Abilities: Basic Wandless Nature magic

Boggart Form: All of her friends insulting everything about her and her family

Riddikulus Form: Her friends wearing clothes obviously made from curtains and bed sheets which do not fit them

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?) Dewdrops, apples and chestnuts

Amortentia: (What do they smell?) Spring water, blueberries, pine needles and caramel

Patronus: Valaise Blacknose Sheep

Patronus Memory: Sewing her first dress with her mum

Mirror of Erised: Herself with many friends who accept her for who she is and aren’t bothered by her taking their curtains

Specialized/Favourite Spells:

Orchideous

Herbivicus

Caterwauling charm

Engorgio

Diffindo

Steelclaw

Rock to Dog

Appearance

Faceclaim: N/A

Height: 4′10 (5′4 by year 7) including horns

Physique: Short, strong legged

Eye Colour: One blue, One green

Hair Colour: Red

Skin Tone: Pale

Unique Appearance Attributes: Small goat horns on head(which grow to 8″ by year 7), white furred goat legs, slightly pointed ears

Scarring: N/A

Inventory: (what do they carry on them?) Wand, Sewing kit, fresh apples, school supplies, water bottle filled with spring water from the Azure Forest, a painted chestnut

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie

Affiliations/Organizations: Hogwarts, Hufflepuff House

Professions: Forest Ranger/Plant Supplier(Future)

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: E

Charms: O

DADA:O

Flying:P

Herbology: O

History of Magic: D

Potions:A

Transfiguration: E

Care of Magical Creatures E

Ancient Runes E

Quidditch: Does not like flying as she is very connected to the land

Favourite Professors: All except any mean ones

Least Favourite Professors: Any Mean Professors

Relationships

Misc Siblings:

Erika Ariss(Younger Sister 3 years younger)

Aella Ariss(Younger Sister 6 years younger)

Markos Ariss(Younger Brother 9 years younger)

Phoebe Ariss (Younger Sister 12 years younger)

Father: Lachlan Ariss

Is the leader of the Azure Forest rangers

Muggleborn

Is fascinated by the stories of Fauns and how they guide humans

Keeps all the magical creatures that live in the Azure Forest safe from Would-be Poachers

Mother: Nixeara Ariss (Faun)

Patrolled the forest before the Rangers were set up to deal with Poachers

Is in love with Nature and everything to do with it

Makes caramel for her family every day as a treat

Has a habit of stealing fabrics that arent hers to make clothes

Love Interest: Shrug

Best Friends: All of her friends

Rival: IDK

Dormmates: Don’t know yet

Pets:

A pet bullfinch named Thalia,

At the Azure Forest there is a three headed dog that only allows Cynara to ride them called Rook whom helps track poachers

Closest Friends:

Nessi Lucerne, Kiri Amaryllis, Dafne Arcano @kathrynalicemc

Background/History

Lachlan was the first ranger to be sent to the Azure Forest to try curb the rampant poacher problem, he made contact with Nixeara and the rest of the Faun population shortly after his arrival to better understand the situation. Nixera was at first quite stubborn about him being there as she thought they didnt need him but after a lot of persuading from both Lachlan and the other fauns, she relented and got him up to speed on the problem and much to her chagrin she was requested to help him as she was the main patroller of the forest. While dealing with the problem one step at a time, the two often butted heads about the best course of action along with Nixeara stealing his bedsheets which turned into respect of each other’s drive to protect the forest and then eventually love, the result being Cynara, their first child. Cynara most of the time before starting Hogwarts helped her mother with anything she could and she learnt how to sew from her while also unfortunately picking up the stealing curtains and bedsheets habit from her, she also occasionally helped her dad with his ranger duties once she was older and had better control of her nature magic. Due to her being part wizard her nature magic was more potent and harder to control than fullblood fauns which resulted in a incident where a group of bullies were bullying her and she unintentionally made the nearby trees lash out and injure most of the bullies, the others ran away, This event solidified her drive to master her innate nature magic.

Personality

Tries to be as friendly as possible but doesn’t properly understand people can be put off by that

Stomps her hooves when excited

Never is truly sorry for making clothes out of curtains and other not normal clothes fabrics

While generally very joyful, she is self conscious about the gap in her teeth and her faun heritage for many years until she realizes she shouldn't care about how mean people think about her

Will kick your knees out if provoked enough

She loves the closeness of nature to Hogwarts

Can be a bit of a dumbass when it comes to the Forbidden Forest, she will explore it if you aren’t careful

Misc

Thalia nests in her hair once it’s long enough and is very hard to get out once she does so

She does not understand shoes at all, she could never wear them to she never learnt the use of them

Her favourite food is Caramel Apples and no she will not share them ever

She picked up the habit of curtain clothes when she was 5 years old and has been like That ever since

She wants to make her parents proud by being the best student in Herbology

She falls asleep in all history classes because she doesn’t know why she needs to know it, it won’t help her be a ranger in her opinion

She can play the lute pretty good

In her fifth year she learns a unarmed fighting style created by Fauns which focuses on headbutts, kicks and nature magic

In her third year she gets glasses due to shortsightedness

She was sent to Hogwarts due to her family believing that Durmstrang would be way too harsh and dark for their children.

#hpma mc #hpma oc #harry potter magic awakened #Cynara Ariss #Lachlan Ariss #faun #Nixeara Ariss #Nessi Lucerne #Kiri Amaryllis #Dafne Arcano

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chaoticoconut · 5 years

Text

BARBARA GORDON HEADCANONS THAT MAKE ME SWOON!!

(and so can you!! alfkvoekfndnej does anyone get that reference anyhoo)

I couldn't NOT post these idk I was showering and then I was hit with a mf tornado of hcs about my favorite gal and I figured I'd share :))))

Barbara and Tim are actually the most potty mouthed members of the batfam, excluding Kate. Jason is close, but only when he's upset (which probably seems trivial bc he's yk always upset but I hc him a pretty chill if not bitter and snarky guy). Tim cusses more when he's tired, but he consciously tries to bite his tongue. Barbara has no remorse and cusses very casually and openly, because she sees no point in abstaining. It releases endorphins guys. Duh. She uses those ridiculous "holy heck Batman!" lines as Batgirl unless she's genuinely thrown off her game. She limits her cussing a lot as Oracle bc she's not one to offend people, and you never know. It's most definitely a civilian thing for her, and anyone who knows Babs knows she's a fucking sailor.

Her favorite food of all time is pizza. Her dream house has a brick pizza oven. She has a food blog with every pizzeria in the greater Gotham area ranked from best to worst. Her favorite of all time is the Gotham Pizza Garden, which is located in Old Gotham near the police station. Technically it's the second best pizza in Gotham, second to Gargoyle Pie Company, which is renowned for being the epitome of Gotham-style pizza and is always busy. She has a lot of memories of GPG though, and loves both pies. GPG also has an incredible Chicago style pizza, which is her second favorite type of pizza. She does however believe Gotham style is superior and thinks less of Dick for disagreeing (@blanddcheadcanons tie-in heyo!!) Very few things make Babs as happy as gourmet pizza.

She grew up watching Teenage Mutant Turtles, Powerpuff Girls, and Star Trek. They all hold a very special place in her heart. There is totally a connection between her love of pizza and TMNT and turtles and mixed martial arts. She once got the boys to go as the turtles for Halloween, with her crushing it as April.

Speaking of turtles, she's had a pet turtle named after icon Nichelle Nichols since high school. Yes, she does call her Shelly. Yes it's cliche. No she does not care. She also has a calico cat named Cornflake that Dick gave her as a birthday present. She doesn't have pet dogs until she and Dick finally settle down. She never had them growing up because her father is allergic and her mother was a devout cat lady. She's not really sure why she never got any on her own, she's just more familiar with cats. After her mom passed away, she did get a bunch of bunnies whom she and JJ named after their favorite horror movie monsters and serial killers.

She loves slasher flicks. It's a family thing. JJ was creepy about it, Jim loves the thrill, Babs loves the mythos, and her mom was never really afraid of anything and found them funny.

She inherited her mother's love for baking. She left her her cookbook, which contains an amazing mixed berry pie recipe. Her pie baking abilities rival Alfred's. She even begins to branch out with her recipes and experiment with all sorts of fillings and even cake-pies (fanfic au tie-in heyo). Everybody loves a Barbara baked good. She knows everyone's faves and literally crushes holiday season. Dick is all about the og mixed berry pie, whereas Jay, who loves lemon everything (hc I saw awhile ago that I just love) prefers either a lemon meringue or a raspberry lemon. Tim is all about strawberry open face while Steph prefers cherry cheesecake or pecan pie. Cass and Bruce both love her cinnamon apple pie. Duke loves just about anything she bakes, but especially her more adventurous, contest winning pies like kiwi-blueberry-black cherry and other originals. Kate will die for Babs' cherry pie. Damian prefers blackberry or mixed like Dick. Alfred is a sweet potato pie kind of guy himself. There's a farmer's market in Blüdhaven her mother went with her to when she was a kid that Barbara still goes to get get all the fresh fruit.

Even better than Barbara or Alfred baking alone is them baking together. Roy Harper is also a pretty good baker. They all trade recipes with Martha Kent. M'gann brings wine to the manor and assembles them all for fun days of baking.

She's also totally the type of gal who made a shit ton of cupcakes when she ran for class prez and stayed I from Batgirl duties to finish them. Just saying.

She picks baking back up as Oracle but several hero emergencies lead her to burn perfectly good desserts.

She and Roy will always have puppy-love crushes on one another and be totally oblivious. They both did ballet as kids, love baking, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, shameless empty flirting, and tech. They're completely platonic and really great lifelong friends. They met at a Wayne gala as kids.

As if she wasn't already talented enough, she's completely ambidextrous. I'm jealous. Dick and Wally are left handed. Bruce is similarly ambi. Selina's a leftie. Maybe Alfred too.

She likes to enter contests and win for fun. She's a monster. Everything from baking to video games to weight lifting, she loves showing people up.

Dick, Babs, and Tim all snore atrociously loud. The batfam hates it. She's the quietest out of them all, but she's also a blanket hog. And a major cuddler.

Her favorite colors are grey and green. Purple does deserve an honorable mention however. Her apartment is a fair mix of green and grey decor and covered in books.

She was a total ballerina growing up, just like her mom wanted. That was until she discovered how kick ass martial arts were, and she got a little too jacked to continue with ballet as a formidable career option. Her next best option is becoming a cop at this point, but her father believes that not only would it be far too dangerous but a waste of her skills (like ballet cough cough). This upsets her so much she goes off and invents Batgirl, complete with a stole grappling gun from evidence.

In college she works as a barista and excels at it. Her dream is to open up a cafe/bakery/flower shop with Dinah some day. She wants to call her half Bean Me Up Scotty! (another hc I saw and fell in love with)

Babs is also a pretty good cook being that she became the family chef at a young age (Jim can barbeque and make spaghetti. That's literally it. Maybe some breakfast). Cooking lessons from Alfred certainly helped.

Her personality is so versatile. She can get along with pretty much anyone due to her wide range of interests and skills which is what makes Oracle so bad ass. She's also a Libra so she adapts fairly easily to any group without seeming fake.

She has a podcast where she rants about tech and feminism and politics and plays video games

She SO took Latin in high school and dominated competitions. She loves classical studies and is a dork for Greek and Roman mythology as well as linguistics. She has a pretty good grasp on all of the romance languages, and learns languages fairly quickly.

She always smells like mint and books. She has killer mint shampoo and conditioner, which is a Kean family thing (they just love the scent). She always smells refreshing.

She likes coffee but prefers tea always. She's like Ramona Flowers with tea

Her music taste is total 90s nostalgia (grunge, boybands, air pop, ska, hip hop) meets far too indie 4 u. Yes she's pretentious. Yes she loves chick rock and *NSYNC and Britney and Kurt Cobain and Biggie and deal with it. She also loves shit you've never even heard of. Was totally into the Gotham punk scene as a teen.

She collects vinyl and books and horror flicks ugh hipster queen

She loves spicy food and Dick cannot stand it. They both like sour candy though

If your Barbara Gordon didn't graduate high school at 16 she doesn't have rights

She was all of the Robin's first crush. Duh. Tim will always think she's the gold standard of women. He likes that she usually sticks up for him. He doesn't mind being seen as her male equivalent lmao

At some point Jay and Babs are roommates and it's literally the best I'll talk abt that later

Her type is guys with dark hair or blonde gals.

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incorrectquotes-randomthoughts · 5 years

Text

Part 2 of why the pjo movies shouldn’t exist, and now that they do, you should refrain from watching.

Continuation to my post before last. (Yes, I got through the rest of it, I’m surprised too, and not mentally stable)

(After Percy gets healed by the water)

If you saw my other post you know that I turned it off during the capture the flag scene, the whole movie is incredible horrible so I was wondering why that scene was even worse, so I broke it down;

Percy and Annabeth are on opposing teams.

Percy’s a better sword fighter than three people from the other team combined. (Who Luke had said to be sons of Ares)

Annabeth was the only one gaurding her flag.

Needless to say, Percy didn’t get guarding duty, like in the books.

I already mentioned Annabeth’s speach, so unlike her it’s not ok.

She’s been training for five years, but if we take her movie age, at least nine. Yet Percy is almost as good as her.

She should be using a dagger, Luke’s dagger, not a sword.

Everyone has the exact same sword, although Percy has Riptide, other than the pen feature it’s the same as everyone else’s.

Needless to mention swords are the only weapon being used.

Everyone has the exact same shield.

Annabeth and Percy are fighting and people are just watching. That’s not how capture the flag works.

^^^ No one’s trying to steal the flag, neither flag in fact, when it’s clear the blue flag (Percy’s team) is poorly guarded, if at all.

Still no Clarisse, still no electric spear.

Percy beats Annabeth in combat.

Percy just raises the flag and suddenly they won.

There was no claiming. Spoiler alert: In the whole movie.

And now, to my normal form of complaining opinion experessing.

Where are the tables?

Or the magic food??

Or the burnt offerings???

Percy’s supposed to feel alone seating at the Poseidon table.

Nymphs are suddenly horny teenage girls that throw parties I guess.

What even is supposed to be her place? They live in trees.

Grover’s suddenly also a horny teenager. You already threw away his personality a little more won’t matter I suppose.

Percy is not happy about being a hero.

Annabeth is smart enough to know that. She doesn’t think he’s all ‘victorious and got the fame up his head’

WHY WOULD HADES WANT THE LIGHTING BOLT.

Also, why would he appear in flames in the middle of dinner.

Chiron’s protective instinctives don’t exist.

Good to know the Oracle is as exsistent as the Big House.

Percy Jackson would never sneak out of camp.

Grover Underwood would never agree.

Annabeth Chase would never accompany them.

Not their 12 year old selves or however old they are supposed to be.

Luke has technology.

Luke hides bolt in shield because he just happens to know that they’re sneaking out of camp today.

He also happens to have a pair of flying shoes from his dad who he has never met.

And a magic, super convenient map. Also from his dad.

Luke Castellan is smart enough to not mention that he hates his dad in front of them. Specially Annabeth, who he knows how smart she is.

They stumble upon Aunt Em’s in plain daylight, because the map says they have to.

Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, Percy never destroyed national monuments, which never led to him getting magic pearls.

They also never go to the water park.

They never meet Ares, or Aphrodite.

We never learn about Annabeth’s phobia of spiders.

Their actual quest is getting the pearls that will get them out of the underworld, because Luke oh-so-conveniently knew exactly that they would do that.

Not Grover who fought so much to get Annabeth, Luke, and Thalia to camp. Not Annabeth, who survived on the streets when she was seven. Not even a first-quest Percy would suggest to split up. Much less agree.

Percy has a phone.

Medusa doesn’t try to trick them or anything she just straight up goes, I’mma turn ya to stone.

Apparently the temptation to look Medusa in the eyes is too much so this random woman does and turns to stone.

Medusa’s horny af.

I would make a comment on the fact that’s it’s for Annabeth, but like, other than the not-really-actually-exsisting age gap.... they’re Greek.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna seduce this girl into opening her eyes”

Percy decapitates Medusa with pretty much no problem.

Grover can drive.

Grover found a truck, with vines all over it, found the key, and knew how to drive not to mention the car actually worked.

Percy can drive.

Magic seat changing between one scene and the other.

They can afford a hotel.

They can also check in the hotel without being questioned.

They keep Medusa’s head in a sink, in the bathroom. They also got ice for it.

They keep their curtains open.

More Percy just seating underwater doing nothing.

Percy can now heal other with water.

Apparently the gods are forbidden to communicate with their kids.

Producer: Sir, here it says that Annebth likes architecture. We should mention that. Director: Have her go ‘woah’ when she sees a monument. Producer: You’re a genius.

Annabeth sneaks into the boys bathroom in the middle of the day and no one notices.

No one checks, or cleans the bathrooms at the end of the day.

Annabeth has a computer which she uses to video chat Luke.

Luke’s flying shoe gift work perfectly. And even though he said it might take “a little practice” Percy can almost master them.

Hydras can look like/poses people.

Percy. Pays. Attention. To. Chiron’s. Class.

Perseus Jackson knows that you can’t cut a Hydra’s head.

Movie Percy Jackson single handedly cuts all seven Hydra heads before they can regenerate.

Good thing only nine grew back.

Also convenient that Grover carries Medusa’s head around.

Medusa can also turn monsters to stone??? I’m not sure if that one’s canon or not.

Magic map says Lotus hotel because magic pearl ends up here.

The Lotua hotel is NOT suppose to look like... that.

Annabeth wouldn’t take food from such a sketchy place.

Grover would detect that there’s something wrong with the food at least.

That’s is not how the magic of the Lotus casino works.

Friendly reminder that Grover has no personality or emotions other than horny.

And there goes Poseidon speaking in Percy’s mind again.

There’s people chasing after Percy who we never actually learn who they are??

Percy, back to his senses, doesn’t find anything weird about this guy knowing his last name.

Car that was on display is completely functional with no protection for people to steal, and the keys are right there.

Somehow rushing out Percy grabbed the pearl that was oh-so-conveniently next to him when he got back to his senses.

Magic seat changing between one scene and the other part 2.

Part 3.

We never know where they parked the car, as far as we know it’s in the middle of a mountain.

There’s Ancient Greek written in the H of the Hollywood sing and if you read the translation aloud you get a passage to the underworld. How convenient.

Friendly remainder that Grover has no personally part... how many times has he said something again?

The entrance to the underworld is a farse.

The under is a farse.

How is that supposed to be the River Styx? How are you supposed to jump in that?

Producer: Sir, we gotta cgi a three-headed dog. Director: Too much effort, make it three big hellhounds. Producer: Your wit never fails to amaze me sir.

Persephone isn’t suppose to be down here, it’s summer.

Persephone is also horny... for Grover, because he’s a satyr.

Gotta agree with you there Grover, Hades looks like a lesser version of Mick Jagger.

The electric guitar. Seriously? You too?

Hades’ as much of an ass he is in this movie is smart enough to not just... give Percy Sally without the bolt.

Which brings me back... why would Hades ever want the bolt? You know the amount of paperwork a war would cause?

Oh look, there’s Annabeth’s dagger.

I understand that many have different points of view as to how the Hades-Persephone relationship should work but Uncle Rick wrote it so it was a happy relationship so please stop with your “he’s abusive and I look forward to getting out of here” BS you’re not even suppose to be here in the first place, it’s summer.

Grover and Persephone are horny for each other, and since they only have three pearls Grover does the ‘sacrifice’ to stay down here.

Sally, Annabeth, and Percy picture the exact same place with no communication what so ever. Not even glances or nods, nothing.

From here...

Luke has another pair of flying shoes, he goes to the Empire State Building flying.

Luke would never admit in front of Annabeth what he wants, he loves her so much. Even back then, just as a sister.

That’s not even what Luke wants.

Annabeth’s dagger is gone again, replaced by a sword.

Percy happens to have the flying shoes with him.

Percy and Luke have the same amount of sword fighting skill.

Luke takes the bolt from Percy and flies away enough for Percy to have to chase him but not enough to, idk, get out of there.

Percy does not suspect Luke -who wanted him to fail on this quest- would have done anything to the shoes.

The shoes that the first time Percy wore took him time, he can wear perfectly now with no effort what so ever. This kid is a master of the skies.

^ Which he shouldn’t be because Zeus pretty much hates him right now.

Percy uses his powers for the first time in the whole movie (not even unintentionally before) and can control them better than he could in, I dunno, the third or fourth book.

Luke throws his sword to cut to the wings in Percy’s shoes. Not really convenient his like, a foot from the roof of a building.

Luke loses his flying shoes and Percy can take them because they happen to be right next to him.

Percy flies back.

What do you mean there’s no elevator music?

Or grouchy guard?

Mount Olympus looks good, ngl.

...to here has only been nine minutes

The gods at this moment are only supposed to be 12ft tall not... 60

Everyone believes everything, it was Luke’s fault, I did nothing, save my friend the satyr

Poseidon left Percy when he was seven months old apparently. Not before he was born.

Poseidon be like “let me talk to my kid just this once” like you haven’t through out the whole movie.

Sally talks about camp half-blood like Percy’s gonna live there the rest of his life.

Gabe wasn’t petrified.

Percy didn’t send the head to Olympus.

Chiron is encouraging Percy to sneak out again wth.

Annabeth teases Percy. Yeah, I meant sexually.

Anyways, I survived, but I wanted to sum up + add some things, for both posts...

Grover’s a horny teenager with no personality.

Nymphs have ‘places’ where they can throw parties.

The movies target a completely different audience than the books.

There’s a lot of filmimg errors.

The only time Annabeth’s dagger showed up it wasn’t used.

Annabeth fights with her hair down.

Abso-fucking-lutley no one looks like they’re suppose to. NO ONE

Luke doesn’t have his scar.

Annabeth-Chiron relationship is nonexistent.

Annabeth-Luke relationship is nonexistent.

Thalia’s tree never appears.

Nothing about Annabeth’s or Luke’s backstory is ever mentioned.

Nymphs are horny teenagers.

Gabe is a completely different person. (Still an ass but, not properly.)

Persephone is horny.

Medusa’s horny.

Every female in the lotus hotel is horny.

There’s more but honestly I die a little more every time I write something.

Let this be a guide to what not to do in the new adaptation.

And again, let this not be the only visual content we get and let’s pray, please, Disney, adapt Percy Jackson.

#disney adapt percy jackson #percabeth #percy jackson #pjo movies #pjo #pjoverse #anabeth chase #luke castellan #clarrise la rue #grover underwood #pjo text post

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lizzytheauthor · 5 years

Text

I started writing a short story to try and warm up for my book. Idk, I read somewhere that it’s important for creative people to warm up. So here’s a little mini story I’ll be updating as I write my book.

“Introducing, Loriana of the Flames! Who hails from….uh….redacted? A crowd favorite, and has a whopping 20 kills. Versus, Chaatuuroona! Who hails from UGC 2885. This terrifying creature has a massive 399 kils under its belt, and is looking for the 400th. Welcome our fighters to the arena the only way you know how!”

I hate that announcer. So pretentious.

“Kate, hey, I got you some, uh.” Cera stares at the thing in her hand, “I think it’s food.”

“Uh. Thanks? I’m not eating that though.” She stares at the thing in her hand, then looks at me and shrugs. Shoving it into her mouth, “You’re just in time for the next fight, if you’re quite done stuffing your face.”

She tries to talk, but it’s utterly incomprehensible due to her not chewing nor swallowing her food. Amazing.

I return my attention to the arena. I guess being a gladiator has its perks, this is a better view than from the stands. A knight walks out, not entirely strange, but still odd. They are wearing a cape that splits halfway down, and they are wielding a sword that is charred black, and looks like its coiled until the tip where the two halves fuse. All in all, kind of underwhelming. The uh, other one is an interesting fighter. It has a bulbous sort of body, with 6 legs, and it comes into a torso that has 2 arms? A long neck followed by the head of what I can only assume a dragon mixed with a pitbull would look like. I feel bad for the knight, the creature stands about four times taller than them.

The audience cheers as the battle begins, Chaat starts by charging the knight. Looks like we’re really showcasing the intelligence of the universes here. Loriana deftly rolls out of the way and jumps up, they slice Chaat in half. That was fast. The crowd gasps, and loriana back steps several times. Chaat forms the two halves into two new creatures. What is this greek mythos crap?

Chaatuuroona lets out a roar, and loriana immediately rolls forward. Not a second too soon, as a lightning bold strikes where they were. They try to close the distance between the chaat on the left, occasionally pausing before doing more acrobatics. Lightning striking each spot they pause at. Maybe this wasn’t such an unfair fight after all.

“Yo!” Cera shouts as food sprays everywhere. Or at least, I hope it’s food. “This knight is rad!”

At least she’s enjoying herself.

Loriana jumps up again, but this time they are two handing the sword. As they slash down, the sword ignites into flames, that’s a fun trick. They are a little shy of the distance they needed though, cause they just hit the ground in front of the creature. The creature on the right is now breathing in, I’m guessing for a breath attack.

“WHOA!” Cera lets out.

I turn back to the other creature and loriana, to see that the creature is immersed in flames, a trail of fire leading back to loriana reveals that they intended to fall short. Interesting fighting style, I can see why they are in that fighting tier. They wave their off hand in some kind of fashion, and as the other creature lets out its breath, energy is released and sent towards loriana. All that hand waving must be magical, cause when the energy dissipates, loriana is standing unscathed. Some more handwaving and 3 bursts of light erupt from their hand, engulfing the remaining creature in flames as well. In a matter of moments, both halves lay on the ground, burnt to a crisp.

The crowd is satisfied with this, as they let out a thunderous applause.

“Congratulations Loriana on your twenty first kill!” the announcer pauses and says quieter, “Or is that twenty second.”

Loriana takes off their helmet, revealing a human-ish face. The only deviation being pale scales on the neck, cheeks, and nose. They have feminine features, and shoulder length dark purple hair. “Yoooooooooooooo!” Cera says again. “I dunno who they are but I’m gay!”

Eloquent as always.

Some members of the crowd throw bouquets out, or other signs of affection. Loriana grabs some blue roses off the ground, and returns to the stadium wall as a cleaning crew comes out to prep the field for the next fight.

At this point, I don’t even know how many days we’ve been here. I don’t even know what a day is here. I guess this is more fun than being stuck in school, learning about junk I don’t care about. Cera is definitely enjoying herself.

“Oh! Kate! Up next is a new person!!” she points at the schedule on the wall. Somehow she has a much better grasp on the written language here than me.

“It’s...That’s just gibberish.” I concede.

“No! Look, here. You see that symbol? That represents…Hey! Are you listening?” she pokes my shoulder.

“Not even slightly”

“Well, anyway, up next is some human named Nere, and he’s up against Uraeseus.” she continues reading as she’s talking.

“Uraeseus, that sounds familiar.”

“It should! Uraeseus is a class E fighter, there’s only like, 10 of those.”

“What class are we again?” honestly, I don’t even remember what the classes are, but I’m guessing we aren’t that.

Cera thinks for a moment, “I don’t reme-OH! We are class C.” she points at the board, “We’re up in 5 fights!”

I assume it has the class of the fighter next to their name on the board, but I’m not going to bother learning how to read when I have a girlfriend to do that for me.

The field is cleared, and the announcer beings again, “Welcome welcome! Let us welcome a new challenger!” the crowd goes absolutely bonkers, they love fresh blood. “His name is Nere but he comes from afar! Timeline 14 is what he calls home. Versus the one, the only, Uraeseus! Needing no introduction, this titan is prepared for anything the human can throw at him!”

More crowd noise. Who even comes to see this? Why are we here?

Nere comes out first. He is some average height dude with brown hair and glasses. His clothes look like they’re from the dark ages. Reminding me somewhat of a monk. He better have some pretty good tricks up his sleeve to fight Uraeseus.

He sits down in the sand, and starts reading his book. Wait, where did he get a book? I swear he wasn’t holding one a second ago. Was it under his robe?

Uraeseus enters the field. A massive 20 feet in height, a cyclops appears. I remember some rumors now, how his skin is made out of the strongest metal in our universe, how his eyeball shoots lasers, how he was discovered alone on a planet with only skeletons for company. Should be a fast fight, I’m interested in learning how Uraeseus fights.

Nere continues sitting on the ground. Not even looking up from his book. Is he even really reading it? It looks like he just jumped half the book.

The announcer starts, “Uh, you can begin when ready?”

Nere looks up, slightly confused, “It’s already over though?”

What. I look over to Urae-

“What happened??” cera says, as I hear the crowd gasp.

Sure enough, Uraeseus lies on the ground, diced up like some honeydew at a boring party. I look back to Nere but he’s already gone. That’s a human? I don’t buy it.

The announcers voice is slightly disturbed, “I, uh. N-nere is the winner!”

Instead of applause, the crowd just lets out confused murmurs. I can’t even think about what happened. I swear I didn’t see him move. How did he kill one of the strongest fighters we have?

A clap on my should rips me back to reality.

“How was that?” a male voice asks.

I turn and see Nere.

“Uh, wha-Huh?” is all I can let out.

“HOLY FUCK.” Cera elegantly shouts, “PLEASE Don’t scare me like that!”

“Apologies…?” Nere makes it seems as if he’s expecting our names.

“Kate, and this is my girlfriend Cera.” I clarify, “You, are from Earth? You’re human?”

“I’m...from An Earth. I’m a type of human, yes.” He thinks very carefully about his words. “We are from the same timeline, and I am mostly normal.”

That sounds fake as shit. “That sounds fake as shit!” Cera says.

He lets out a sigh, “Look, you remember Sydney, right?”

Cera immediately blurts out, “Nope!”

“Sydney Farrow?” I ask.

“The very one,” Nere turns his focus to me, “She told me to come rescue you. So I’m here. I just need to figure out where ‘here’ is. As soon as I figure that out, I can get us back home.”

#my writing #super space gladiators #the weird spacing is cause i copied it from my writing program :/#sorry

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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656

Where is the last place you had a kiss? My girlfriend’s couch. I normally wouldn’t kiss her inside her house but we were alone, so it just happened. What did you eat for breakfast yesterday? I skipped breakfast yesterday and went straight to having a macchiato, which was a horrible idea considering I had a badddd hangover. My body made me pay for it soon enough when my stomach started unusually heating up, so I bought a sandwich by around lunch to help it feel better. When was the last time you were at an amusement park? 2013. I don’t like amusement parks so when my friends make plans I don’t go along with them. Two weeks ago I was at a school fair which kinda has the same amenities as an amusement park, but I guess it’s not the real thing so it doesn’t count. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? Last Wednesday. My friend Leigh was trying to demonstrate for me the concept of just-noticeable difference by pinching the skin on my hand. I don’t like feeling pain anywhere on my body, so when she started amping up her pinching I had to yell out. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Can’t relate.

Do you donate blood? Nooooo no nope. I just said I didn’t like feeling discomfort on any part of my body hahaha and getting pricked is the worst sensation for me. I wouldn’t be able to donate blood even if I wanted to either – as far as I know you have to be of a certain weight to be qualified, and I’ve never met that requirement. Are you wearing two shirts? No. It’s never too cold to be wearing two shirts here. The only time I had to really do this in a local sense was in Sagada. That weather was b r u t a l. It was the first time my dad turned on the heater in our car and I didn’t even know Filipino cars came with heaters lmaaaaaaao. This was a very long way of saying no. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Never have. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? I went as my best friend at the time, Sofie. I didn’t have time (and wasn’t as extroverted as I am now) to come up with a detailed costume, so I went as her – black dress, eyebags, winged eyeliner, and thick hair that was never combed. It had the least effort of all my friends’ costumes, but I got the most compliments on social media lol. What's your favorite morning activity? I am so not a morning person, and I just like sleeping/lying in whenever I can. Can you cook? I am hopeless in that department. Is there a lot of laundry in your hamper? No. My mom’s laundry day is Friday, so it’s basically empty the whole weekend. When do you think you'll have children? In a little less than a decade, honestly. I’m pretty firm in my decision to have kids; it’s my biggest dream if anything. I mean I’m also willing to wait until I’m in my 30s because god knows how expensive everything is rapidly getting these days, but I just know I’ll end up having kids one way or another. Can you point out constellations in the night sky? No. The only thing I can safely point out for you is Orion’s Belt, and that’s because it’s essentially a giveaway lmao. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? Nothing. It’s one of my least favorite topics. The only thing that got me to enjoy them for a brief period was the Percy Jackson series, but when I finished the books my interest in that world waned fast. Have you ever eaten a gyro? Nah, but close enough – I’ve had shawarma. What's your favorite flavor of Tootsie pops? Mmmm not really a fan of Tootsie Pops, or like candy in general. What's the last thing you bought at a mall? If I remember correctly, I got a toasted siopao in Coffee Bean. Where did your mom go to high school? She went to Colegio de Santa Rosa in Makati. What's a subject you would never major in? Philosophy. My college curriculum required me to take one Philosophy elective, and not only was it the worst experience ever, but I got my second-lowest mark in college from that class. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I hate asking for money, even from my parents. When's the last time you took a bubble bath? A little over a year ago, probs. I love bubble baths when I manage to get settled in one, but because I’m usually in a hurry when I take showers, the concept of staying and relaxing in a bathtub is a little weird to me so I never do it haha. Have you ever swam in a river? I have photos of me when I was 1, my mom, her sisters-in-law, and their kids (my cousins) swimming in some river. Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? No. I know I could be messy, but that’s just disgusting. What food do you love the smell of while it's cooking? Curry. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? I just hate the smell of wasabi in general. Your #2--what's their occupation? Your #3--what color are their eyes? Your #1--what cartoon character would they be? Your #4--are they allergic to anything? All Myspace questions that I’m skipping, lmao. Has a bee ever stung you? No. That’s like one of my top 3 fears so I never allow myself to be near bees or wasps. If there’s any nearby I run the fuckkkkk away. Where did you last go camping? I have never been camping for real. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? Last year I had some stuff ordered by early November – but those were gifts for just my girlfriend. I bought everyone else’s gifts like a week before Christmas. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? I’m sure I have; I just don’t let it bother me because no one’s breath is supposed to smell great in the morning lmao. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? I have never had Baskin Robbins and I dunno if I will, because it’s just so expensive. Philippine suppliers looove bringing foreign brands like Shake Shack and Baskin Robbins over here and slapping insanely high prices on them just so they’re seen as high-end lmao, it’s sad. Are there fast food wrappers/cups in your car? No not at the moment. If anything there are old receipts. Do you read the newspaper? Very seldom, but given that I’m a journalism student, I encounter newspapers a lot because they’re everywhere in the college. What search engine do you use? Google. Have you ever posted a question on Yahoo questions? Nope. But the website is useful and I just look for people asking the same question I have at the moment. Have you ever been on a dating website? I made a Tinder account a few years ago just to observe it and just for fun. I never needed it but I was curious, so I joined it but I used a fake name and a photo of a cat I saw in school as my profile picture so that no one knew who it was. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? Save for CM Punk, I’ve only ever had crushes on female celebrities. What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I dunno, I’ve never felt interested in growing flowers...or a garden, in general. Would you rather have a flat tire or overheated car? Flat tire. As far as I know that can be fixed a little more easily than a completely overheated car. What's the safest form of transportation? Private car, lmao. That’s really your safest bet in this country. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? They can be taught about it so they’re aware of what it means and asks of them, but kids should also be reminded that at the end of the day it’s an option that they can choose to take or not. When's the next time you'll go to the grocery store? I only ever go when my dad is home because he likes having us along, so maybe in a month or two. When's the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Never. What's your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? Mozzarella sticks. Do you like black licorice? It’s decent, at best. I won’t spit it out, but it’s not my first candy of choice either. Can you count to 100 in another language? Two, Filipino and Spanish. We use Spanish when referring to currency, so that’s why it’s easy to memorize. Like I’d say I have labing-limang (fifteen in Filipino) notebooks, but when I have to say fifteen pesos, we say it as kinse (fifteen in Spanish). Idk, it’s a weird quirk with Filipinos but yeah. What's the nearest thing to you that can bounce? I don’t think there is anything bouncy in the living room at the moment. Do you hate cleaning? If I have to do it I get lazy. But when I actually want to clean, it can be relaxing. Do you clear dishes in the garbage disposal or in the garbage can? My mom takes out the garbage. Do you watch anything on the E! network? I don’t think our cable comes with E! so the only times I get to encounter it is when we’re staying over at hotels. I like having Keeping Up With the Kardashians on when we do have that channel. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? I loved the show during its peak days, but I never had the desire to join it. Where's your car keys? Upstairs, on my bedside drawer. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? From my high school ball, yes. I still have my old gown, photos with Mike, the instrument he used to ask me to ball (a Starbucks cup with the proposal written on it by the barista), and my old corsage. I like keeping stuff like that around so that I don’t forget, not because I still like him lmao. My prom could fuck off, and I have nothing from that night. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have no idea. My high school prom dress disappeared after a while, but I still have my ball gown. The last person you laid in bed with said... I don’t know what you’re referring to but our last conversation was her telling me to drive home safe. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I can’t. Which celebrities would you want to hang out with at a bbq? The Friends cast. Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? I have never seen the movie. What are you doing on Superbowl Sunday? Isn’t it over already? I saw my aunts and uncles post about it on Facebook so I’m pretty sure it’s over. Anyway, I don’t care for football. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? No. Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Not really. The most ‘rebellious’ thing that ever happened was at my One Direction concert. The organizers made the stupid decision of holding the show on FLAT concert grounds and not a stadium, for a concert that probably held 10,000-20,000 people. Can you imagine holding that on just the GROUND??? Anyway, my sister and I had the third best tickets which was supposed to bring us to the semi-front, but it turned out to be so far from the stage. Everyone from my section all the way to the back resorted to standing up on the monobloc chairs which really isn’t allowed, but duh it’s One Direction and we wanted to see them. Harry had to call us out and ask us to get down from the chairs and just stand on the ground for our safety, but we kept protesting until they just gave up and continued the show. What's the last thing you watched on tv? Titanic, but we watched it on Netflix. I haven’t seen cable TV in a whiiiiiiile.

Whose show should be cancelled? 13 Reasons Why. Do you like Lindsay Lohan as a blonde? It doesn’t bother me. When's the last time you ate fruit? Last Friday I tried some of Laurice’s green mango with bagoong. Can you jump rope double dutch? Nope. I know jump rope but I never went that far.

#survey #surveys

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malvchis · 6 years

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hello it’s violet Back with another late intro ! this is me from the future :-) i rewrote this intro like a little over three months ago and i’m too excited to play him to write it a third time so just like this post and i’ll come to you for plotting ! but until then here’s my angsty / lowkey softie / highkey garbage Son <3 for future reference i’d like to say this vine is also 1000% him okay thank u for ur time

a CHARLES MELTON lookalike just rolled into new york city in their PORSCHE 911 SPORT CLASSIC. MALACHI ROTHSCHILD just had a birthday bash for his TWENTY-THIRD birthday. i doubt he’ll make it here in new york city since i hear he tends to be DOGMATIC, but on the other hand he is STOIC. ( cismale & he/him )

「 *.:｡*𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓼. 」

FULL NAME: malachi saul rothschild. NICKNAME(S): mal, m, kai. AGE: twenty two. DATE OF BIRTH: july 15th, 1996. ASTROLOGY SIGN: cancer sun, aries moon, capricorn rising. GENDER: male. PRONOUNS: he / him / his. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english, spanish, some greek. OCCUPATION: musician. BIOLOGICAL PARENTS: cassandra & wren rothschild. STEP PARENT(S): tba. SIBLINGS: lilia rothschild ( sixteen ). PET(S): none. CHILDREN: none. RELIGION: grew up in a catholic household, but agnostic. DRINK / DRUGS / SEX: yes / yes / yes. FACECLAIM: calum hood. EYE COLOR: brown. HAIR: brunette. HEIGHT: 6′2. RIGHT/LEFT HANDED: right. TATTOOS: i’ll come up with this later but he def has a spongebob tattoo on his ankle he got when he was drunk TRAITS: diligent, altruistic, reverent, dogmatic, taciturn, brooding. NOTABLE HABITS: smokes at least three cigarettes a day, zones out during most conversations, drums his fingers against any surface when he’s nervous. NECESSITIES: pack of marlboro cigarettes, airpods, vintage band tees. LIKES: sweatshirts, naps, driving, adrenaline, performing in front of huge crowds. DISLIKES: cantaloupe, sleeping alone, not meeting someone’s standards, materialism. DISORDER(S): generalized anxiety.

「 *.:｡*𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂. 」

so my backstory is gonna be pretty similar since i haven’t changed that at all and it’s already pretty fleshed out heh

basically malachi’s parents are well-known by his father owning one of the top 10 law firms in the us and his mom is a child actress turned real housewife star ( think brandi glanville or kyle richards if u watch rhobh )

growing up with a younger sister, he was expected to be the golden child of the family and for a little while he was just that

he got good grades and did whatever his dad told him to do like growing up malachi looked up to his dad so much that was his idol

so taking over the law firm and all was fine because he wanted to be just like him u know

then one day at a friend’s house he played guitar hero and his life changed…. Forever :-)

i wish i was kidding but it literally did

he bought the game and would play it for HOURS straight but it wasn’t a real guitar so he went out a bought one and the rest is history <3

malachi was taught to always say the right thing and never truly learned how to express himself so he did it through writing and eventually the guitar and writing kinda tied in together

and of course his dad didn’t approve heh ! which was understandable at first because his grades started slipping in middle school and he kinda got lost in music

also he kinda stopped taking himself so serious and lowkey became the class clown charm is all apart of the rockstar lifestyle it makes sense fight me

so he was getting in trouble more frequently and his dad was getting sick of paying off whoever he needed to make it all go away u know

and i feel like malachi was given internships to go to every summer when he turned 15/16 and he never went to those :-)

it got to the point where his dad would like physically throw his guitar to smash it and he’d threaten to cut malachi off if he didn’t take his future seriously ( tw: drug mention ) and so malachi had to resort to selling his mom’s antidepressants at parties to pay for his equipment because his dad was cutting him off

and he’d try to reach out to his mom but she’s honestly off in her own world and she loves pretending everything’s fine sdjksk it’s a lil dark but it’s FINE

so i think for the sake of keeping the family intact he played along for a little and was basically his dad’s puppet for his junior/senior year of hs

but he dropped out last minute and moved to new york to start his music career all by himself fun :-)

he’s lived in new york for about 5 years now so keep that in mind ok omg i think that’s all

「 *.:｡*𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂. 」

before i start i’d just like to say his vc is joji but for purposes of him performing at coachella with his boys, his second vc is mac demarco !

i’m picky and idk which voice i like better for malachi so we’ll see :)

ok so in my first intro i said he’s a lowkey softie but i was wrong

he’s a HUGE softie 90% of the time it’s bad but my excuse is that he’s a cancer so he’s sensitive aubrey

he doesn’t really show it unless it’s through song writing though because he’s a cliche but that’s the best way for him to do it

he’s a very boombox over the shoulder kind of person

definitely a mix of being rebellious and stubborn ! he doesn’t really know how to listen to anybody besides himself because listening to himself has gotten this far so u know

basically that gifset of kim k going “thanks for your lovely advice but i’m not gonna take it”

relationship-wise it takes him months of fully getting over someone but it also takes him .5 seconds to fall in love with someone new he’s gross

omg he’s also super protective of people he cares about that’s his redeeming quality for sure

he’ll fully punch out anybody that messes with his friends and he’s done it before

oh also he somehow always gets into bar fights ? like 90% of the time without fail it’s either his drunk ass picking on some guy 10 times bigger than him or the other way around so that’s his life honestly

he’s not /as/ reckless as he used to be but if anyone does something dumb he’s definitely there encouraging it

but he’s also the type to just stay home for 3 days straight playing video games or writing music or napping since he loves those

don’t get me wrong though if he’s in the mood to party he’ll go all out and do c*ke off of everyone

he’s a very all or nothing person like there’s no such thing as moderation with him and he doesn’t know her

also he’s kinda oblivious most of the time because he’s off in his own world

basically he’s dumb and he never listens to anyone ever thanks

okay so thank god i actually wrote out some wanted connections and honestly most of them are open now so let’s go to town and just mash a bunch of plots together skdjsk

any brotp plot like “the boys are back” hsm 3 kinda thing thanks

brotps apply to any gender though he needs friends akjskdk

family friends

cousins maybe idk?? anything familial is fine with me

childhood friends <3 <3

one-sided crush that’s probably on his side

first love / exes

literally any exes plot i have pretty good ideas for these that mostly ended badly because of him rip

i just have so many songs that i wanna dedicate to people for plots please

BUT we can do exes that ended good or bad because of your muse i’m not picky

good / bad influence

roommates omg if u have to live with mal good luck but it’ll be FUN someone volunteer

enemies or some kind of rivalry/competition thing

frenemies :-)

fwb but also enemies with benefits

crushes that never went anywhere

omg a summer fling hello please

just tell me what u want and i’ll come up with something hehe <3

#wealthyhq:intro #drug mention tw #i forgot how to tag #but i FINISHED hello plot with me <3

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pettybkang · 6 years

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CONGRATULATIONS

Group: Day6.

Pairing: Y/N + Youngk.

Genre: Soulmate!AU.

Word count: 12k+

Description: Having a soulmate is such a wild concept. Some believe it’s because true love is what makes the world work, some believe it’s a curse that has been thrown upon us by the Greeks and their concept of love and some just want to enjoy the ride. There are some people that decide to ignore the fact that someone is on the other side of the line and some that search for the other half for years and years, never to be found. The world is so big, isn’t it? It also wouldn’t be nice enough to place all soulmates in the same city, would it?

Having a soulmate is such a wild concept.

Some believe it’s because true love is what makes the world work, some believe it’s a curse that has been thrown upon us by the Greeks and their concept of love and some just want to enjoy the ride. There are some people that decide to ignore the fact that someone is on the other side of the line and some that search for the other half for years and years, never to be found. The world is so big, isn’t it? It also wouldn’t be nice enough to place all soulmates in the same city, would it?

While ignoring a soulmate can be hard, some people try their best. You see, people find their soulmates through scars. It’s intimate, it tells a story, it connects people, it’s also a way to remember dates. Whenever one of the halves gets hurt, the other feels an annoying pinch wherever it was that the first one felt. As soon as it scars, the soulmate will end up with the same scar on their body: being it a straight thin line or something else.

Some people end up hurting themselves, trying to make their scars more visible so they can find their soulmates easily. Some take as much care as necessary to not hurt the other. Some end up forgetting there are people on the other side of the line.

Y/N for example, had a very fun childhood. She would run up and down, clueless to the fact that someone could be feeling several pinches during the day on the other side of the line. It was only after her third time on the hospital to get stitches that her mother explained the whole concept to her. It didn’t change much, nowadays the only thing that’s different is that fact that the girl apologizes to the universe whenever she cuts her fingers on something - which happens a lot.

Alice still has doubts about the whole concept of other people feeling pain. Yes, she has been awaken by sudden pinches to her body several times. Yes, she has tiny marks from tiny cuts all over. And yes, her soulmate might as well be the clumsiest person she has ever heard about. But at the same time, what if he’s a gangster from New Orleans who’s been held at knife point way more than once? What if he’s sick and these are all needles? They don’t tell you who the other person is. All you have to do is feel, wait and hope.

They are roommates, living in Los Angeles for three years now. And even though they are friends and live together, they barely see each other. Y/N is in college, studying to be something according to society - aerospace engineer according to her degree. And Alice is studying the fine arts - more especially dance itself. No one knows how they ended up being roommates, the good thing is that it works.

It was Monday morning and it was summer. If there’s one thing Y/N hates about going back to class after summer break is the fact that Los Angeles burns during the summer. No amount of sunscreen, water or iced tea is enough to make the heat go away. And of course she was running late.

[10:05 AM] idk?? i’m pretty sure sungjin knows tho. he’s more involved in the art scene than i am. how the hell don’t you know? -Y/N

Y/N was trying to walk, type and finish her tea all at once. It was obviously not working as she now had yet another bruise on her knee. But then again, was it her fault that Alice had lost the number from the art department who had the number from the gallery she had already lost? Maybe. But still.

[10:05 AM] Then text him! He’s your brother, not mine! I need the number. My professor said today is the last day to apply for their showcase and I can’t miss it. Everyone is going to be there! - AP

[10:06 AM] i don’t think he’s awake but sure. i think his band had a concert or whatever yesterday? -Y/N

[10:07 AM] What name are they using now? 5LIVE? -AP

[10:10 AM] fuck i think i’m gonna be super late. -Y/N [10:10 AM] and no, they dropped that one. too boy band-y. they’re called day6 now. -Y/N

[10:13 AM] Aren’t there five people only tho? -AP

[10:14 AM] last time i checked, sungjin was the only real person in the band tbh. he’s my brother, i’m allowed to say that - Y/N

[10:15 AM] okay! i gtg. i have this class now, horrible, full of math. i’ll txt him and get you the number asap, kay? sorry i spilled coffee all over the kitchen table. xx -Y/N

She wasn’t sure why this showcase was so important for the people around her - both her roommate and her brother were going insane because of it. Apparently someone important would be watching and they had to be there. It was only when she was walking into class that she felt a pinch right on the middle of her hand, biting on her lower lip. “Well, I’m sorry, okay? I was in a hurry,” she said quietly, as if the person had been giving her a warning about the scraped knee. Y/N rolled her eyes and walked into the class, ready to start the semester again.

Alice had just woken up, texting her roommate about the number she had spilled coffee over a couple weeks ago. This showcase could make her career way easier since several important people from Los Angeles would be watching. UCLA would very often hold them and only the luckiest and best students would be selected to actually participate - anyone could apply, but only a few would be under the spotlight.

She knew about Y/N’s brother and his band - which is now called Day6 apparently - and some other people from her classes were all applying too. Her professors had all told her she had a chance at being chosen, which was always a great boost. But she had lost the phone number and now she had no clue who she should send the forms to. It wasn’t as if she would have called them if she had the number a few days ago, but of course she decided to leave it all for the last minute, lost the number, would never get an e-mail response on time and would have to walk all the way to the administration building. That is, of course, if Y/N can’t get the number from her brother.

She knew the girl would probably turn off her phone during class, so she moved to be ready when her class is over. Alice took a shower, made breakfast, managed to burn her finger on the pan she was making pancakes. This definitely wasn’t her lucky day. She was so used to being the one on the receiving end of those annoying pinches that she didn’t even noticed she had hurt herself and it would probably leave an annoying scar. Was it a gangster that felt it? And thought that maybe she hurt her finger chopping someone’s body? Does her soulmate think she’s a criminal too?

The girl shook her head. Better leave all the soulmate thoughts for later. Now she had to focus on how to get her application forms to the gallery holding the showcase on time. The same forms she still didn’t have… because she had lost the phone number. She was going to kill Y/N.

Sungjin had managed to gather new people for his band a couple months ago. He has been trying to be the leader of a band for years now, but this is the only formation that managed to stay together for longer than a month. He hasn’t even invited his sister to know the guys because he knows she just won’t show up - maybe she was forced to meet all the other twelve people he tried to have a band with and has given up on him by now.

Jae, Brian, Wonpil, Dowoon and Sungjin are Day6. The band that originally had six members, but went down to five and decided to stick to the name - they already had posters and t-shirts made, they couldn’t just make new ones with a new name.

They were rehearsing that morning when Brian felt a weird pinch on his knee, making him look down and roll his eyes. Every single day he would feel pain somewhere because of his soulmate. The person that knows no balance apparently and likes paper cuts. There’s no other explanation for how many times his knees hurt a day or his fingers. He waited until the song was done to grab his pick and press it as hard as possible against his palm - watch out! there’s someone else here, dammit! - he wanted to tell this person. He hoped they would get it.

Wonpil didn’t notice the pain on his finger - number one: because he had most of them on band-aids already. Number two: because he was in the middle of a song, playing his keyboard and it was almost impossible to distract him from that. Number three: This just couldn’t be his soulmate, whoever they might be. Wonpil is the only one getting hurt because of how clumsy he is. He might have pressed too hard on a key, that’s all.

The other boys around them didn’t notice the other two ‘interacting’ with their soulmates, too busy rehearsing and learning all the new songs they had to. JYP would be at the showcase and they had an awesome chance to become something if the producer liked their vibe and their music - both Jae and Sungjin wouldn’t let the other three forget about the record deal they were dreaming about 24/7.

[12:01 PM] Sungjin!!! Do you have the number from that gallery? Alice needs it. I kinda spilled coffee on the paper she had written it. -Y/N [12:01 PM] I’m serious. Send me the number. -Y/N [12:01 PM] She’s going to murder me. -Y/N [12:03 PM] Is this your way of shoving in my face that I was adopted?? -Y/N

[12:04 PM] What the hell, Y/N? -PS

[12:04 PM] Great. Now you’re paying attention. -Y/N [12:04 PM] The number? From the gallery? Please? -Y/N

[12:05 PM] You don’t get to play the adopted card every time you need something! -PS

[12:05 PM] JUST SEND ME THE NUMBER SUNGJIN!!!! -Y/N

[12:06 PM] You’re the worst sister I could have asked for. -PS [12:06 PM] [Gallery Contact Attached] -PS

[12:06 PM] Funny thing is: you helped mom and dad pick me. -Y/N [12:06 PM] Think about that. -Y/N

[12:07 PM] I hate you. -PS

Y/N quickly texted Alice the number and moved to get lunch. She usually would walk all the way to the arts building to meet up with Alice, but her friend was too busy running around to finish her application for the showcase so all she did was walk to the restaurant she knew her brother and his band would have lunch at: McDonald’s. She knew Alice would judge her based on the diet they had been leading on for the past weeks: healthy and energetic, everything that would help Alice get her dance steps sharper, but she had no choice.

Sungjin saw his sister the moment she walked in, making a face at her and gesturing for her to join them. Y/N ordered her usual and then made her way towards the boys with her food. She doesn’t know them well yet - and might be afraid too since Sungjin’s bands never really last long - but she smiled and waved hello.

“How are you guys doing? I heard you finally decided on the songs for the showcase?” she asked with a smile and a boy - Jae? - answered way faster than her own brother.

“Yeah, we’re doing Congratulations and I Loved You,” he said with a big smile, moving his hands way too much as he spoke.

“Congratulations is the one I heard you guys playing last time, right?” Y/N smiled, stealing fries from his brother and showing him the tongue. “It’s a very good one. The lyrics are incredibly petty. Definitely one of my faves.”

She shrugged, making this other boy - Wonpil? - laugh and hit his knee on the table. It looked like the boy was definitely a horrible soulmate - maybe just as bad as her when it came to injuring themselves all the time.

“I wrote it,” Brian said, not smiling but making a face. “The chorus is about, you know…” he said, shrugging and then rolling his eyes. Y/N kept looking at him, waiting for him to finish the sentence and shrugging too when he didn’t.

“Sure, I know,” she said, making a face at Jae and Sungjin then and focusing on eating her food. Brian wanted to say the song was about his soulmate - at least the chorus - and the fact that what the fuck? this person is definitely unbelievable. But he decided to be quiet about it, maybe Y/N was one of those people who believed in soulmates way too much. Her brother definitely was. Sungjin has been looking for his other half for years now - Y/N is 100% sure it’s a girl from her calculus class, they have the same scar on their shoulder, but she’s not going to be the one telling him.

Alice ended up texting Y/N for them to meet up for lunch after she was done with her forms, but Y/N only texted back the address to the restaurant she was at. A couple minutes later a very annoyed Alice walked into the room - the table was actually full of ice cream, Y/N had bought her one. And was holding it up for the older one to get it.

“I hate you,” she said, rolling her eyes and squeezing herself into the seat next to her friend. Then she looked around, waving hello to the band.

“That’s the second time someone has told me that today, I’m starting to notice a pattern. All my friends hate me,” Y/N shrugged, shoving ice cream into her mouth to not say anything else. And, of course, enjoy her dessert

“Okay, so here’s the thing. I managed to fill in the applications. Turns out the gallery is not as far from our apartment as I imagined. I managed to call and tell the lady I was on my way. The moment I got there, I felt this weird pain on my knee,” she said, shrugging.

“I know the feeling,” Brian said quietly from the other side of the table, making Y/N shush him and wave for Alice to continue.

“I’m sure they’re only considering my application because the woman felt sorry for me. I mean, soulmates, right? There’s nothing we can do,” she said, shrugging. “My criminal of a soulmate must have gotten stabbed on the knee today,” she added then, making everyone laugh. No one noticed how red Wonpil’s cheeks got.

“You think your soulmate is a criminal?” Brian asked, laughing and rolling his eyes. Y/N felt like throwing her own cup of ice cream on his face so he would shut up. Why did her brother always get the most annoying band mates.

“It’s obviously a joke. He just gets hurt a lot I guess,” she shrugged, taking a bite from her own ice cream, staring at Brian with a very bored expression.

“Yeah, well. I call mine an asshole for getting hurt a lot, not a criminal,” Brian added, making most people roll their eyes.

“That’s because you have as much warmth in your heart as this ice cream does,” Jae said, eyeing Brian and making the rest of the people laugh. “Honestly though, soulmates are such a distant concept… No offense, Dowoon. But come on? How do we know for sure they’re not living in, I don’t know, China?”

“Exactly!” Y/N said, rolling her eyes and finishing her ice cream. “There’s no point in living wrapped in bubble wrap,” she shrugged and poked Alice on the side so the other would stand up. “I gotta go, kinda have classes now,” she waved at the boys - and even at grumpy!Brian - and hugged her brother.

Both girls ended up leaving the place to go to their afternoon classes. Y/N ended up asking Alice about the routine she had prepared for the showcase, in case she was selected, and the other started explaining it in words that made zero to no sense to the soon to be engineer.

Preparing for the showcase was chaos.

It was literal chaos.

A week after the forms had been delivered, the result came out. Both Alice and Sungjin’s band managed to get a spot. The order was comedy, musicians and then dancers. Y/N realized she would have to stay the entire night, Alice was freaking out because she would have to wait longer than expected and the boy were always bickering about chords and tunes.

The dancer was spending extra hours in the studio to rehearse. From time to time Y/N would show up with food, coffee, vitamins and even water sometimes. She was pretty much out of a roommate for two weeks - seeing Alice only late at night. The same happened to her brother and his band - Day6 was spending extra hours playing those two songs, trying to make them sound both perfect and not so perfect at the same time.

The soulmates were going insane. Alice was starting to get stressed at hers, each time she was in the middle of her choreography her hands would hurt or something else and she would end up getting distracted and then hurt herself. Not a good time for him to be chased by criminals. Wonpil on the other hand was finally noticing that he might have a real soulmate, since every single time he managed to hurt himself, he would get a reply. Something that would hurt just as much but on his knees, elbow and back even.

Brian got a break for two days and a half, but soon his asshole of a soulmate managed to hurt something again. But as rehearsing was going insane, his fingers weren’t giving his soulmate a break either. The bass can be a very cruel instrument when you don’t give yourself a break - and the boys didn’t have time for breaks. Y/N was starting to get annoyed, not because of the pain, but she would drop things constantly because of it. Holding her phone? Sorry, can’t, fingertips hurt out of nowhere and so on.

They barely had time to meet, to talk or to be excited about the showcase. They were all too focused and determined to make a better future for themselves. To get noticed, maybe be booked, get a job, a contract even. Who knows?

When the showcase finally came, they were all tired. Exhausted even. With bag under their eyes and feeling like zombies. But the eyeliners were on point, the choreographies too and the instruments were all correctly tuned. They had practiced way too much to notice how fast the previous two weeks had passed, buzzing with coffee and anything that would give them energy to go on.

Y/N tried to take care of them all, taking food and water with her every time she managed to visit the band or the dancer but as she had her own tests and articles to read, it wasn’t as easy as she expected it to be. She managed to get the day off from her activities to go to the show case to support her friends.

“You’re going to do great,” she said, offering Alice some of her water, waving at a couple people she knew that were also at the backstage of the showcase.

“You said that eight times already. In the last hour,” Alice said, giving her friend the look as she took the water from her hands and sipped from the bottle. She ended up keeping the bottle, pressing it against her chest for a moment.

“I’m just trying to help. You’re incredible, you’re just as good as that Jimin guy we saw that other night,” Y/N pointed out, taking her phone out of her pocket to check in on her brother.

“Okay, let’s not go there. Park Jimin is my senior. We all know how great and perfect he is. You can’t just compare us,” Alice rolled her eyes at Y/N, making the younger one laugh and shrug. As if she was saying she would do as she wanted.

Y/N was allowed to stay backstage until the showcase started, just like all visitors and family. She waited until her brother showed up, moving to wrap her arms around him in a hug. Brian didn’t notice when she hit her chin on Sungjin’s shoulder, laughing and shrugging at the pain. A few seconds later, there was Brian complaining about pain on his own chin - which Y/N didn’t pay attention to.

“I hope you guys do great today!” she said with a smile, hugging her brother one more time. And then moving on to hug Dowoon, Jae and Wonpil. They had become close since she had started visiting their rehearsals a bit more. “I promise to yell the lyrics to everything. Start some fanchants even. Day6’s number one fan,” she continued, making them laugh.

Brian was looking grumpy - as usual - but managed a smile. The others were all happy, but he looked worried. Anxious even. Y/N walked closer to him, placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed a little. “Your petty song is the best petty song there is, alright. Whoever this JYP guy is, he better love it,” she said, giving him a smile. “Break a leg,” she winked and moved away, chuckling a little and waving to her brother. This time, he noticed when the girl almost tripped on her way out and hurt her hand on the door frame as she tried to keep her body steady. She looked back, laughed softly and waved at them. Brian was the only one stuck staring down at his own hand.

Y/N walked out and moved to her seat, taking her phone from her pocket and opening a few apps while she waited for the showcase to start - and her friends to perform.

On the backstage, Brian was pretty much freaking out. He was torn between concentrating for their performance and thinking about what it meant that he felt a thin cut on his palm the moment Y/N hurt her own hand at the dorm frame. It must be a coincidence, he kept thinking, but kept being reminded of all the times he saw her with batman bandaids all over, bruised knees and arms. There was also this time he caught Sungjin and Wonpil talking about feeling bad whenever their soulmates get hurt and he heard the older one talking about his sister - how she gets hurt a lot, but always say an apology to the universe every time she does it.

He didn’t want to think about the fact that he might be able to stop calling his soulmate asshole and start calling them Y/N.

Sungjin was the one to walk over and shake Brian out of the well of thoughts he had fallen into. “Whatever it is that she said, she doesn’t mean it,” he said chuckling a little. Brian looked at him with a very confused expression. “My sister. You’re staring and it looks like you ate something that, you know, tasted bad. If she said something horrible, she doesn’t mean it,” he smiled, shrugging.

“Oh. No, no, no, it’s not it,” Brian said, taking a deep breath and rolling his eyes. What an idiot. He’s such an idiot. “She was nice, she said the petty song is a good song, whatever that means,” he added, making Sungjin laugh.

“Yeah, she sucks at it,” he said, shaking his head.

Alice who had been looking for a familiar face, found the boys at that exact moment. Finding them was easy, tall guys with colorful hair, being able to handle Brian’s sour face was something else. All she did was smile, wave her way past them and walk all the way to Jae and Wonpil.

Dowoon was too busy stretching his arms and listening to music, his way of getting in the zone and relaxing before they played their music. To a producer. A very famous producer. That could like or hate them. No pressure.

They sat down and talked, the two guys and Alice. Talked about college, shared funny stories, laughed at some people that were too busy freaking out - even though they were freaking out themselves. They stretched together when it was time too and then the boys moved to play their songs. Y/N had been texting Alice this entire time, but her friend had left her phone inside her backpack. When the speaker announced that Day6 would be the next band, the younger sister stood up and clapped. Yelled even. They deserved it after all the hard work.

Brian had vanished for an hour - while Alice, Jae and Wonpil talked - and came back even angrier than before. Sungjin was sure he had been punching walls and screaming inside empty rooms, but he decided not to say anything. The lights on the stage were bright and they could barely see the people sitting, but it was possible to hear Y/N yelling the band’s name and how much she wanted them to do well.

“Hello Los Angeles!” Sungjin said while the others got ready, giving the crowd a big smile. “We’re Day6, a pop rock band. We’re going to perform two songs for you today,” he said, chuckling a little. “I hope you guys like it and clap along,” he smiled, leaning back to grab his acoustic guitar.

“The first song is called Congratulations,” Brian said and suddenly the entire band was staring at him, but trying to play it cool. That wasn’t on the script at all. “I wrote this a while ago about my soulmate,” he continued, biting on his lower lip and adjusting the bass in front of him. “I hope she understands I still mean it,” both Jae and Sungjin stared at him again.

Brian had found his soulmate? When? Who the hell is she? Of course they wanted to ask and of course they couldn’t. They had to start the song but right before they could, it was possible to hear Y/N’s voice from the crowd. “Petty as fuck, guys!” Brian looked like he wanted to murder her for a second, before rolling his eyes and putting his game face (or show face?) on.

Sungjin counted to three and they started the song.

During their two songs, Y/N’s fingers were killing her. So was her wrist and back. She definitely wanted to stand, to scream the lyrics and clap. Wave her arms even, but the pain was annoying. Taking the pictures she wanted to take also wasn’t happening.

Alice was watching them from the side of the stage, hidden behind curtains. She was clapping to the songs, playing attention to Jae and Wonpil - she had ended up becoming closer with the two. They both looked so happy and had such great voices. She was sure they were giving everything they had so the songs would come out perfect.

It was during song number two that she noticed a pattern. See, here’s the thing. She always loved paying attention to people’s hands while they were playing instruments. Or in general even. And Wonpil plays the keyboard. It’s impossible for her not to stare or anything. Besides, he has a very bright red bandaid wrapped around his middle finger. Every time he pressed a key with that finger, she would feel as if someone was poking her own finger with a cloth pin. She could remember feeling something sharp pressing against her own finger that morning and now this.

Biting on her lower lip, Alice took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself. Wrong time for that gangster she had imaged show up and look like Wonpil. Cute, wearing chokers, playing the keyboard, singing about girlfriends that left and never came back. Horrible timing, terrible even.

This showcase was already making them way more anxious than it was supposed to be. Day6 killed it on the stage, everyone cheered and clapped for them even though Y/N was the loudest and impossible to miss. The boys moved backstage as soon as the performance was done - which was the exact moment Y/N’s hands stopped hurting. They were all happy, hugging each other, laughing and smiling. Alice walked over to them to congratulate them, hugging the ones she was close to. She thought about Wonpil’s hands for a moment, but decided she didn’t have the time to worry about that now. It was almost her turn at the showcase.

Brian vanished as soon as the hugs were done. No one knew where the hell he had gone to, but they heard him saying he needed some air. He ended up leaving his bass behind so the rest of the band figured he would be back later. They had to wait at the backstage until the showcase was done, so they all sat down and started texting Y/N - who had blow up their phones with pictures, texts and emojis.

A while later, it was Alice’s time to go on the stage. The song she had chosen was called Flame of Love and the choreography was hers. This time, her friend was quiet while watching. She was indeed just as good as that senior Y/N couldn’t remember the name now and she couldn’t take her eyes out of her friend’s dance moves. They were soft, gentle and precise. They also made the song sound way better than it did.

The boys were all watching, except for Brian who was MIA still. Jae and Sungjin were the most excited ones, gasping and smiling and cheering. Wonpil watched with a smile, standing still, arms wrapped around his body. Whoever looked from the outside could think he was standing as still as possible just to be sure he wouldn’t hit anything. It was almost instinct for him, standing still whenever he was paying too much attention to something.

When she was done, she thanked the audience and left the stage. The boys were there to hug her, smile and laugh. They all had only nice compliments to give her and Y/N was going crazy in the audience because all their phones were vibrating nonstop. Maybe she had created a new group chat. Maybe she wanted news on all of them. Maybe she was one of those very excited friends.

They had all been invited to Alice and Y/N’s apartment when the showcase was over - the girls had stocked up on wine and beer for celebrations. They would also order some pizzas. All the Day6 guys and the girls were there.

Getting in, the first thing they noticed was the mess. You would think an apartment shared by a future engineer and a dancer would be organized since they didn’t want to hurt themselves or lose any work, right? Wrong. Their apartment is a complete mess. Y/N has formulas in post-its all over the place and Alice just leaves her mixtapes everywhere. Brian’s first thought was no wonder she gets hurt all the time, but then he shook the thought away and walked in with his sour face.

“This place is a mess,” Brian said as he sat down on the couch, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

“You are a mess, do you want the free beers or not?” Y/N said from the kitchen, grabbing the wine opener and choosing a bottle from the shelf.

“They might be poisoned since you’re not drinking it,” he said and soon everyone in the room was making a face at him, Dowoon even threw a pillow on him just so he would stop being an idiot.

“I don’t drink beer,” Y/N shrugged, turning around and running her hand over the right side of her face. The same place Brian had been hit with a pillow.

“She’s adopted, don’t mind her,” Sungjin said from the fridge, where he had been distributing all the cans of beer. In the end Jae, Wonpil, Y/N and Alice ended up with glasses of wine while Brian, Dowoon and Sungjin had their cans of beer.

They cheered together, clanking their glasses and cans and wishing each other success after the showcase. “Here’s to future contracts and lots of money!” said Jae before sipping from his glass.

When the pizza arrived, the boys offered to go pick it up. Except Wonpil - who everyone was afraid would drop the pizzas - and Brian - who was in a pissy mood and no one knew why. Y/N and Brian were left alone inside, the two sitting on the couch and ignoring each other, while Alice and Wonpil walked outside to the balcony.

“Hey, I have something to ask you,” she started, glad that the alcohol had already made its way to her brain because she would never be able to have this conversation sober.

Wonpil nodded, sipping from his wine and leaning against the cold wall of the balcony. “Sure. I mean, playing the keyboard is not as hard as I make it look like,” he joked, making the other one laugh and smile.

“It would definitely be hard for me,” she started, raising her right eyebrow but then shrugged. “But that’s not it…” she bit on her lower lip and sipped from her wine glass again. “I was wondering, and now I realize how creepy this will sound, but do you happen to have a scar that looks like a star on your thigh?” he said, twisting her nose a little. It was one of the few scars that were her fault - she had fallen on top of a bike when she was young and the star on the bike was what left a scar.

It took Wonpil a moment to think. “Oh…” he started, eyes widening and smile growing a little. “So that’s what it is, uh,” he added, chuckling a little and smiling. “I mean, I always wondered what it was…” he smiled at her, leaning his head to the side.

“I fell on a bike when I was a kid,” Alice explained, shrugging and smiling. It was easier than expected, Wonpil was such a nice person to be around - despite how clumsy he is all the time. “Sorry.”

“Oh… No, you don’t even need to say sorry,” he started, placing his free hand on her wrist, smiling at the warmth of her skin. “I mean, I’m sure it must be annoying for you to always feel me doing stupid things,” he said, chewing on the insides of his cheeks. “I sorta need glasses?” he made a face, making Alice laugh. “I don’t wear them as you can tell,” he pointed at his face with the glass and then sipped from it.

“I’ve grown used to them… It was only annoying at the beginning and last week, during rehearsal,” she looked down at his hand on her wrist. “Oh, and I’ve thought you were a criminal for so long. I was sure you were part of the mafia or something. I mean, c’mon. Only a criminal gets to get hurt this much and still live, right?”

They talked for a few more minutes, laughing and exchanging looks. They were starting to talk about what to do from now when the pizza arrived, making Y/N cheer inside while Brian looked constipated.

With a quick look, Wonpil gestured for them to do in. And they did. Hand in hand, huge smile on their faces, each one holding a glass of while. It looked like an engagement scene from a bad movie - Jae would comment later. “Hey, guess what we just figured out!” Alice said, looking at Wonpil. “Apparently my soulmate isn’t a criminal, he’s just a clumsy keyboard player,” she shrugged, making everyone both laugh and look at them with wide eyes. There were more drinks, more toasts and even more hugs. Everyone was excited about the two, finding your soulmate is definitely something to celebrate - especially in such a huge world.

Being happy, young and drunk has its own consequences. For Alice and Wonpil it meant sharing their first kiss while their friends whistled around them, for Jae it meant spilling wine on a white shirt and for Y/N it meant hitting her shin against the coffee table

“Ouch… I knew we shouldn’t have bought this table,” she said, standing up and rubbing her own leg. “Sorry, bud,” she said, looking up and then shrugging, reaching for her glass of wine. Brian was frozen, staring at his own leg and having the confirmation that his soulmate was the girl right in front of him. Sungjin noticed too and was about to make a very excited comment when Brian stood up and pointed at Y/N.

“You’re the asshole!” he pretty much yelled, making everyone stop. Y/N was the last one to turn around and was surprised he was pointing at her.

“What did I do this time?” she looked confused, not realising what was going on.

“What did you do! What don’t you do? You’re always doing something. Always. You never leave me alone. Never let me have some goddamn peace and quiet!” he kept yelling, his friends still looking confused as fuck.

“Hey… Brian… I’m sure this was a misunderstanding… Y/N doesn’t even hangout with us that often…” Jae tried to help while Y/N shrugged, sipping from her glass.

“It’s not a misunderstanding. She gets hurt all the time. Everywhere. She managed at the showcase and here. Everywhere she goes, she finds a way to hurt something. Do you even know what it’s like to be on the other side of that?” everyone was quiet, looking from Y/N to Brian. And then from Alice to Wonpil - who were still holding hands, the newest couple of the group. “... And don’t you even dare say you apologize every time.”

“Well, how the fuck should I know I had such a grumpy person on the other side? I didn’t complain once during all these weeks about the fact that I couldn’t hold anything because you murdered your fingers playing bass!” Y/N started yelling back at him. “I couldn’t take a single picture today because I couldn’t hold my phone, Brian.” She quickly put the pieces together, of course it would be Brian.

“My life has been nothing but annoying because of you,” he said, rolling his eyes and sipping from his beer.

“That’s it. Fuck off. This is my house. I live here. I’m not going to sit and listen to an idiot blame me for living. I’m sorry if I was happy that a fucking family had chosen to raise me and that they let me play outside just as much as I wanted,” she said, pointing at her brother. “And I never in this life ever have broken a bone, which isn’t something I can say for you. You don’t even know how much that shit hurts,” she rolled her eyes, finishing her wine and then looked at Brian.

He was picking his things up, making his way to the door. “I knew it. I knew this whole soulmate shit was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have listened to my mom. Or your guys even.”

“Well, and I wished you lived in China, Brian Kang,” she said, flipping him the fingers as he walked off.

“He’s actually Korean…” Sungjin said, and then added. “Which of course doesn’t matter,” he had seen the face Y/N had made at him.

She took a deep breath, poured more wine into her glass and then almost chugged it whole. Then poured more and went back to drinking it in sips. “So this sucks…” she started, sipping from her glass again. “But, uh… I mean, the showcase was a success and we have the best couple ever right here. No need to worry, right?” she pointed at Alice and Wonpil.

They went to bed late - it was after five when the boys decided to go home and the girls even took a shower before going to bed. Alice would even dare to say Y/N wasn’t looking as happy as usual, but it might have been the drinks and how tired she was. This whole Brian thing wouldn’t have left her feeling bad now, would it? The only way to know for sure was to ask - and she sure as hell wouldn’t ask because she had no idea what to do with the answer.

Waking up after bottles of wine and celebration is never a good idea. Especially when you live in Los Angeles and it’s summer, which means that the sun is out and it’s going to be bright wherever you go. The headache is a must. Y/N opened her eyes, groaning and reaching for her glasses. She adjusted them on her face and rolled to the side, giving up on getting up just now. With a yawn, she reached for her phone, licking her lips as she felt like she had swallowed a handful of cotton balls.

She had four texts to read. Two were from her mother, one from Sungjin and the other from Alice.

[8:05 AM] Sungjin told me you found your soulmate!!!!!!!!! - Mom [8:15 AM] Oh. He told me the rest of the story now. Don’t worry about this Brian guy, sweetie. He’s a jerk and he will change his mind. You were a very active kid. I do not feel sorry for raising you that way. He will have to deal. What a child really! Ridiculous. - Mom.

[8:20 AM] I might have told mom about the Brian situation. She’s not taking it as well as I imagined she would. -PS

[11:46 AM] Wonpil and I are having lunch together today!!!!!!! He made me breakfast - there are some waffles in the fridge if you want. And now we’re out on a date. Wake up so I can freak out over text if this goes wrong!!! -AP

She stared at her phone screen for a while, groaning when all the texts reminded her of what had happened the night before. Y/N sat up, rubbing her eyes and adjusting the glasses one more time, opening her eyes slowly and staring at the phone again, finally checking the time to realize it was two in the afternoon already. Maybe texting her mom back first was the best idea. She could be very protective of her kids and she has been waiting for an answer for hours now, Y/N was actually impressed that the Korean woman didn’t just break into her apartment to check if she’s okay or not.

The new couple had just finished lunch and were on their way to the movies. Alice had warned Wonpil that watching moving while still a bit hungover and after having lunch was a bad idea, but he was just too excited and she couldn’t resist anymore. They had their hands pretty much laced together as they had been holding each other’s for the entire day.

Alice had never seen herself as someone who would go on cute dates, hold hands and smile at whatever her partner said. But this was exactly what she was doing right now. Wonpil had never seen himself as someone who would find his soulmate and fall instantly in love with them, not have that person be angry at him for ages and smile non stop while around them, but here he is. And it’s just as cute, annoyingly cute even, as it sounds. They were made for each other, head to toe even.

The concept of soulmates is so wild. It’s crazy how two people can just click, that they can feel like getting home after a long day of work. It’s the first glass of wine after the biggest fight of the year with your boss. It’s eating the last piece of that fine chocolate you bought yourself. It’s exciting, overwhelming even, and it leaves you wanting more.

“Don’t you think we should talk to Brian?” Wonpil asked when they were waiting in line to get inside the movie theater. Alice had been thinking about it, but she wasn’t sure if mentioning the fiasco would make or break their date.

“Y/N kinda likes to deal with her shit herself,” she said, shrugging a little and then giving him a smile. “And it’s not like we can walk up to Brian right now and just tell him how to feel,” she added, frowning a little. “Besides… They might need some space,” she laughed, biting on her lower lip. “Knowing Y/N, she’s texting her mom to go shopping right now. I’ll get home and she’ll have new clothes to show.”

“When she shops the world seems better?” he said with a smile, laughing a bit.

“Oh, babe. When we all shop the world seems wonderful,” Alice laughed, leaning closer to press a kiss to his cheek. Wonpil smiled, leaned closer and pressed a kiss to her lips.

He was sure he would never get tired of it. The feeling of fireworks, of being ran over by a car and saved by some holy being at the same time. It was both the fall and getting back up again. It felt like he was giving a part of him away, but getting a part of her in return. If he had known pressing lips to his soulmate would be so intense he would have given it more thought, looked for her a bit harder, stared around looking for star scars a little longer. If there’s one thing Wonpil is sure now is that he’s going to do everything in his power to make his soulmate happy.

The movie wasn’t the best. They ate their popcorns, drank their water and shared the gummy bears but even with everyone around them screaming because of the movie, they fell asleep. Alice on Wonpil’s shoulder and the boy with his head lightly pressed against hers. Later that day Alice would point out that hangovers and movies are not a nice combination.

“And then! I don’t remember clearly okay, I was drunk… Bare with me,” Y/N said. She was sitting across from her mom at a cafe in LA. She had taken a shower, sloten a waffle from the fridge and got into an uber to her mom’s house. The Park have been living in Los Angeles for a while now, both Y/N and Sungjin were born in the US, but the kids don’t live with their parents anymore. They moved out as soon as they got into college, but they always visit their parents when they can. Especially their mom.

And right now, Mrs. Park was paying for the coffee while Y/N vented. She made a face when her daughter told her she had been drunk the night before, but shrugged and let her continue. “I mean, he started yelling. I thought he was angry about something because apparently he’s always angry about something. But he was angry at me. Because I get hurt a lot,” she rolled her eyes, taking a sip from her coffee. “I mean, I get it. It must suck. Actually… I know it sucks! Because I always feel them first. It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose,” she groaned, leaning back and crossing her arms.

“Are you really that angry at him?” her mom asked, a soft smile on her lips. How could she be so calm? Y/N would never understand that. How could she have been born - well, raised - from a woman that calm?

“I honestly just want him to apologize and stop being an ass. We’re gonna have to deal with it one day. I’m pretty sure he has the same weird scar on his thigh because I sure as well have the same on my arm, I checked,” she took a bite from her cake, pouting in front of her mother then.

“You’re just as stubborn as your brother,” the older woman chuckled while Y/N made a face, showing her the tongue for a second. “Oh, it’s not a bad thing. I know I raised both of you just as stubborn as I am.”

The younger one laughed, shaking her head and finishing her coffee. She was so glad she had this woman as her mom. The best mom someone could have asked for.

The semester continued as normal - stressful, filled with alcohol and assignments that maybe could have been more interested if paid enough attention to. Alice and Wonpil got closer and would host dinners to watch football games whenever the Pats played. Day6 was being booked for more shows after the showcase, more people wanted them to play at their parties or just pay to see them in a venue. They were getting bigger and bigger. Sungjin and that JYP guy were exchanging e-mails for a couple months now since the producer was a big fan of the energy the band has

Alice got a few jobs after the showcase too but as she was busy with the semester she couldn’t actually take more. Even though her professors were all supportive, she wanted to finish the course first and then work on getting bigger roles. The important thing was: she managed to get the attention of big people that day.

The thing is: Brian and Y/N have been playing a ridiculous game of hide and seek for three months now. She arrives early to every Day6 rehearsal and leaves just when he arrives. He comes up with horrible excuses to miss Sunday Night Football just because he knows she’s going to be there. She stopped going to McDonald’s because it’s near his apartment and he might be there. He stopped going to Starbucks because it’s right on the corner of her apartment and Alice mentioned once that Y/N always stops there for chocolate muffins. He was always angry and she was less active than before, afraid she might bump her knee and hurt him. He bought a box of five hundred bass picks so his fingers wouldn’t hurt that much anymore.

Their friends noticed. They noticed the first week, but whenever they confronted them about it both would call them out. They would say how ridiculous they were being, they would yell, tell them to fuck off and leave. Most of the time. Pouting and being stubborn was also an option. Brian and Y/N are perfect for each other because they happen to be everything the other is: stubborn, sarcastic, savage and have a difficult personality. They can also be aggressive and rude.

Sungjin was the one who came up with the idea. He was tired of listening to his mom complain about his sister and about Brian. One: because he loves his sister to pieces even though it might not seem like it from time to time and two: because Brian is one of his best friends and he also wants the best for him. The Park sibling might also love cake and birthday parties, that’s where the idea came from.

They were going to throw a surprise party for Brian’s birthday. And they would find a way to keep Y/N and Brian in the same room for more than fifteen minutes so they could talk. Or yell or fight or just communicated. That was the hardest part of the plan.

The easiest part was the food: Alice and Wonpil were in charge of that. Sungin offered to help and so did Dowoon. Jae was in charge of inviting Brian and making sure he would arrive on time - the excuse was up to him. Alice was in charge of making Y/N show up.

[6:58 PM] Okay. Listen. Pil wants to be cute and host one of those wine parties at his place this Saturday. I know we’ve been doing this at ours for forever now, but let him have this? Please? -AP

[6:59 PM] Ugh. Why tho. I don’t have excuses to wear pajamas at Wonpil’s house. -Y/N

[6:59 PM] You can wear sweats? A t-shirt? It doesn’t need to be fancy. He just wants to do something since you’re my roommate. And he’s my soulmate. His words. He wants to be a good… mate. -AP

[6:59 PM] Let it be known that I’m only going because he’s ridiculously cute. I might have to leave early tho. -Y/N

[7:00 PM] We’re not inviting him. -AP

[7:00 PM] What? -Y/N [7:00 PM] It has nothing to do with that idiot. -Y/N [7:00 PM] I actually have to be up early on Sunday. I might have forgotten to buy my mom’s birthday present. -Y/N

[7:01 PM] On a Sunday? -AP [7:01 PM] You? Shopping on a Sunday? -AP

[7:05 PM] Yeah. -Y/N [7:07 PM] Let Wonpil know I’ll show up. -Y/N

“Okay. She said she’ll show up!” Alice said, putting her phone on the coffee table in front of Wonpil’s couch. It was true that she was spending more time at his place since he lived alone and things were getting more serious than dates at the movies for the past months.

“Now we just have to convince Brian to show up,” he said, leaning closer and pressing a kiss to her cheek and then resting his head on her shoulder. “But that is Jae’s job now,” he added, pressing his lips together. “I mean, we also have to bake the cake and choose the wine.”

“You mean I have to bake the cake, right?” Alice said, looking at him with a smile on her lips. “I mean, I know Sungjin told you to help but I’m not letting you anywhere near my mom’s recipe. No offence but… Last time you decided to cook something we were left with salty soup.”

“It wasn’t that bad…” Wonpil started, pouting his lips and leaning back so he could look at her properly. “I did make you waffles that day though…” he said, raising one of his eyebrows.

Alice laughed, shaking her head a little. “You made waffles from a box. I mean, yeah. They were delicious. But still,” she leaned closer, pressing her lips to his. “I bake the cake. You pick the wine. I say we go with sparkling wine because that’s the one we use for celebrations,” she added, pressing another kiss to his lips.

“Fine. But I’ll make another soup one day that won’t taste salty. And you’ll have to try it,” he said, chuckling a little.

“Make sure it’s on a week day so I can order something fast just in case,” she said, making both of them laugh. They both leaned back on the couch, feet up on the coffee table and unpaused the movie they were watching. They still had three days to go until Saturday night.

“We’re going to Wonpil’s on Saturday,” Jae said, tapping on the table as he waited for his name to be called. Convincing Brian to meet him at Starbucks was already a huge victory, convincing him to go to Wonpil’s will have to be another one.

“I can’t go,” Brian said, shrugging and pulling his phone from his pocket, checking his texts and then pretending he had something very important to reply to, hoping Jae would just let it go. But Brian knew Jae, all of those were false hopes.

“It wasn’t an invitation actually. I was just letting you know that we’re all going to Wonpil’s Saturday night. It’s a band thing. And as a band we do have to go out together from time to time you know,” he said, sighing and then getting up to grab both his and Brian’s coffee.

The younger one was left on the table by himself, checking his twitter timeline. He did see Alice complaining about a TV show and Y/N telling her that the character only died because he was her favorite. They hadn’t unfollowed or blocked each other, it would be too obvious. Besides, they needed to know where the other was going so they could avoid the place at all costs.

“Band thing, you said?” Brian asked the moment Jae came back with the cups of coffee. “No girlfriends? Weird friends? Parents? Just a band thing?” he added, raising an eyebrow.

Jae shrugged and then sighed. “Duh, of course. We all know you two are being dramatic about it still. We’re not even trying to get you two to be together anymore,” he rolled his eyes and sipped from his drink.

“That’s not what I meant,” Brian said, feeling his cheeks getting warmer.

“Of course not,” Jae chuckled, shrugging one more time. “It’s gonna be just us, some stupid TV show and some beers. Trust me, it’s gonna be cool,” Jae added and Brian finally agreed to show up. He could deal with a band thing.

Brian arrived first since it was supposed to be a band thing and it would make no sense for Y/N to be there when all of the Day6 guys were there since it was a wine date. Alice and Y/N were going to be there in three hours so the band had some time alone with Brian.

Jae, Brian and Sungjin were sharing the couch while Wonpil was alone on an armchair. Dowoon was offered a chair but he decided to throw a pillow on the floor and sit there for a while. There was something on TV but none of them were paying attention - at least some had the decency to pretend they were. When Jae felt a pinch on his thigh he thought that would be the perfect time to bring the touchy subject up.

“How are things with Alice, Pil? Are you guys doing fine with the whole soulmate thing?” the word immediately caught Brian’s attention, making him look away from the TV and towards Jae - who wasn’t even looking at his friend.

“She makes me want to try to be a better version of me every single day,” he said, a smile on his lips. “And it might sound exhausting, but it isn’t. And it’s not like we’re the perfect match because we definitely aren’t…” he said, chuckling a little, shrugging. “It feels good being around her. It sorta calms me down, you know? And I’ve been way more careful,” he said, showing them his hands with a smile on his face.

“On purpose?” Brian asked, raising an eyebrow and sipping from his beer. He seemed curious and all of the other pretended they weren’t giving it much thought.

“It’s not like I was doing it on purpose for starters,” Wonpil chuckled, shrugging a bit. “It’s almost like my clumsiness has already done its job so I don’t need it as much anymore? Of course I still bump my knee on things all the time and have some bruises from door knobs, but it’s not as often as before,” he added, sipping from his own beer.

“What about you? Still thinks it’s a stupid idea?” Sungjin asked, poking Brian’s arm while he was taking a sip from his beer.

The bass player coughed a bit, gave Sungjin a very angry glance while the other just shrugged and sighed. “It is stupid. And it’s unfair that she’s your sister, I can’t say shit about her,” he said, raising one eyebrow. “But if she wasn’t and I could, I would definitely call her selfish. And arrogant. And an idiot,” he added then, raising his hands. “Of course, only if she wasn’t.”

The boys didn’t laugh, they just looked at Brian as if they pitied him. Dowoon was smiling to himself, shaking his head. “Dude. Stop being such a stubborn ass,” he said and then all of them started laughing. Apparently someone finally said what they had been trying to say for the past three months and a half.

Once the room fell silent again, they all went back to pretending the TV was super interesting. What a great whatever it was that they were watching.

Alice and Y/N got into the uber late because both decided that ten minutes was enough to get ready. Newsflash: it wasn’t. The older one was texting her boyfriend to let them know they were going to be late - and to please not let Brian leave. The best part of the plan was that Alice got a pair of keys so she wouldn’t need to ring the doorbell and probably scare Brian away. She would get in, lock the door and let Brian and Y/N figure out by themselves what was going on.

Of course she would sleep at Wonpil’s for five months just in case after this. Y/N might want to murder her.

“I was out with my mom a couple days ago and she said the only present she wants for her birthday is for me and Brian to finally get along,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes. “It’s ridiculous. She keeps mentioning him all. the. time. I think Sungjin has been updating her on everything that is going on and she’s afraid I might never talk to him again.”

They were going up the stairs to Wonpil’s apartment on the sixth floor because of course the evelavor was broken. “But maybe you guys should talk… You know, just to see if it was a misunderstanding or not. I’m sure he didn’t mean all of those things he said, Brian is not that big of an ass…” Alice tried, giving her friend a smile.

Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes. She took a deep breath because of the stairs and then looked up at Alice who was a few steps ahead of her. “He has a very cute face, doesn’t he?” he said with a soft laugh. “It’s a shame he’s a selfish arrogant dick,” she shrugged. “I’m not apologizing first or whatever he thinks I should do,” she added.

“Oh my God, you’re impossible,” Alice rolled her eyes and kept going up. “If you had to, I don’t know, apologize to someone to be able to live forever I’m pretty sure you’d rather die.”

“It’s not that deep,” the youngest one said, going faster so she wouldn’t be left behind.

“Oh, trust me. It is. You’re impossible,” Alice opened the door to the sixth floor, leaving the stairs and waiting for Y/N. The girls then walked to Wonpil’s door, the oldest one knocked and then unlocked it, letting Y/N go in first. The subject had changed, so she walked in and turned around to reply to Alice. The oldest one walked in, locked the door and smiled. Y/N was confused for a second, having no idea why her friend was smiling.

She realised then that it was her boyfriend’s apartment, so he must have been behind her. She turned around then with a smile on her lips to say hi to Wonpil, but the first face she saw was Brian’s.

There was betrayal, anger, tension, horror and stress. All of those on both their faces in minutes. Alice pressed her back against the door so Y/N wouldn’t leave and Jae stood up just in case Brian decided to throw a fit. The two were about to start yelling when Sungjin started talking.

“Listen, we had to do this. You two have been playing an unhealthy game of hide and seek for too long,” he stood up, walking so he would be in the middle and both could see him. “We have a band to deal with and, well, I have a family and Alice has a roommate. Jae has a best friend. It’s not as easy as you two think it is for us whenever you decide to just ignore each other,” he said, looking at both of them.

Brian was about to start, but then Alice cut him off. “And we both know you two are too stubborn to say you are sorry for whatever happen. Or to share your feelings. Or whatever. So I just want to let you know that you’re both locked in here until you solve your shit.”

“We just need you two to talk, alright. It might sound selfish of us but you two need to figure things out. You don’t even need to apologize, just talk. Get to know each other past the ‘asshole’ nickname you both have been using,” Wonpil added, raising an eyebrow and looking at them.

“Fine,” they both said at the same time, blushing as they looked at each other. And then looked away.

They did set this up but they also decided to give them privacy to sort their shit out. Wonpil told them that the terrace was empty and that they should make their way there even though Alice just wanted to lock them inside a room - Hunger Games style - and wait for them to get over it.

The elevator ride was awkward and they hushed out of it the moment they heard the ding, letting them know they were on the last floor. They took the stairs to the terrace, opening the door to a bright sunny fall day in Los Angeles. Y/N made sure to walk a few steps before sitting down, sighing and looking back at Brian. She was wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt as she thought they would be having a wine night. Brian was in jeans and a hoodie, making his way towards her and sitting down too, sighing as he did so.

“Listen, I’m not going to apologize for playing around as a kid-” Y/N started, but Brian shook his head and cut her off.

“That’s not what I was angry about,” he said, biting on his lower lip. “I mean, it was… For a while. But it’s not what I’m angry about,” he added then, making Y/N look at him with a very confused expression.

“So… Uh, okay. Yeah, I’ve got nothing. I’ve been bad mouthing you for almost four months now because I thought you had been holding stupid grudges against me since I was three,” she said, letting out a chuckle. “I know I wasn’t the most careful kid… But I was just so happy I got to do the things I was doing I didn’t think about a soulmate. Or you. I did apologize. Every time it happened… But I don’t see why I have to do this now,” she added, looking at him.

“You don’t… I don’t need you to. Or want you to,” he said, shrugging a little and looking around. He sighed and bit down on his lower lip. “Look… I never enjoyed this whole soulmate thing. I mean? Being stuck with someone? For the rest of your life? No, thanks. And my mom… Oh God, she drives me crazy. She sent me to Canada when I was little just because. She wants me… I mean, she wanted to me to find you more than anything,” Y/N listened with a confused expression, trying to understand where Brian was getting. Her mom never really pressured her into anything but she did get more… interested in her love life once Brian came into it. “And I told her several times… Soulmates sometimes don’t find each other. I mean, you could have been killed or something. But he always noticed when I flinched or anything so she always commented on it. It was annoying,” he stopped, took a deep breath and then continued. “Besides… We might not even get married. We might be best friends for life? Who the fuck knows. Yeah, you do like my petty songs and I do like how your hair changes colors all the time, but? In the long run?”

Y/N ended up giggling a bit, shaking her head. That caught Brian’s attention, making him look up at her and make a face. He was about to ask her what the hell was going on when she started talking.

“I don’t want to date you right away,” she started, giving him a smile. “I never planned to. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. You can’t even name my three favorite colors or what type of tea is acceptable to drink in the morning…” she started, reaching out to hold his hand for a moment. “I don’t mind if you need to get to know me first or whatever because I’d prefer to get to know you before we do anything stupid. Like getting married.”

He rolled his eyes, chuckling a little. “Maybe we should have had this talk a few months ago?”

“Oh, shut up. If they ask, we needed the time to be petty. I hope you wrote another petty song. I hope it’s more petty than the last one. I hope it has my name in it and you’re going to sing in front of a lot of people and all of them are going to know how horrible I am,” Y/N said, squeezing his hand before letting go, making the other laugh.

“Sorry. I actually wrote one… But it’s more in the lines of ‘god dammit I fucked this up what can I do now’, you know?” Brian said and Y/N pouted, making both of them laugh and shake their heads.

They spend another few minutes outside. No one yelled or broke anything and no neighbors were disturbed. They covered the basics: favorite color, favorite band, favorite TV show, hogwarts house and favorite star wars character, etc. They had a small fight over star wars vs star trek, but decided that one was better as a movie and the other was better as a TV series.

When they decided it was time, they took the elevator back to the sixth floor and knocked on Wonpil’s door.

They were all afraid Y/N and Brian had pushed each other from the terrace or worst, kissed. Alice had drank almost an entire bottle of wine and the boys were trying to focus on something else - a TV show. Something about famous parents and even more famous kids. The girl was the first one up when they knocked, running to get the door and open it with a smile.

Y/N and Brian walked in with a smile, waving at their friends. They were standing side by side, looking a bit awkward but not a bad awkward. More like ‘we talked because of you and now we have to explain how things are going’ awkward. It was going to take some time but they would figure this whole soulmate thing out eventually.

“So…” Y/N started. “Brian is my soulmate even though he likes beer over wine,” she made a face.

“Yeah, and uh… Y/N is my soulmate even though she prefers Jae over me sometimes,” he said while she shrugged, making finger guns towards Jae while all their friends laughed.

“Are you two finally okay?” Sungjin asked.

“Yeah, we are. We’re going to be,” Brian said and Y/N showed him the tongue. Soon they moved to find their places on the couch and their drinks, Y/N finally getting the wine she was promised earlier that week.

When Brian had to use the bathroom, they took the cake out of the fridge and surprised him with it. His birthday had been on Wednesday, but today seemed like a nice day to have Y/N be a part of the celebrations. That’s the reason they had set this up. Everything worked out as planned - the new soulmates weren’t being huge asses about each other anymore, the cake was delicious and Wonpil’s wine choice was actually quite impressive.

Later that year, Day6 would sign a record deal with that JYP guy and Brian would get to sing Congratulations live to a lot of great fans to hear just how bad of a person his soulmate is.

Did you enjoy CONGRATULATIONS? Let me know.

#day6 fanfiction #day6 fanfic #youngk fanfiction #youngk fanfic #brian kang fanfiction #brian kang fanfic #day6 au #youngk au #brian kang au #day6 soulmate au #youngk soulmate au #brian kang soulmate au #congratulations

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yakumtsaki · 7 years

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Welcome, dear readers, to the much anticipated Union Season 1 finale, featuring the diverse cast of well-developed characters we’ve all come to love, such as cheating whore #1, cheating whore #2, and my personal favorite, cheating whore #3. Also starring purple Hannibal Lecter, Melody Tinker’s sunglasses, and Leon Trotsky. Last update saw the erotic tension between resident porn-king Gunther and his brother’s intended, Regina George Brittany Upsnott finally boil over, leading to this harrowing image:

GOOD TIMES. Let’s pick up right where we left off..

.. namely precious Gunther immediately jumping into bed with Melody not two minutes after his close encounter of the Brit kind. Guns has been suspiciously loyal and un-gross ever since we moved out of the dorms, but apparently his goal for senior year is to out-worst everyone else in the house. What a comeback!

Meanwhile Brit is depressingly bowling her frustrations away under the unforgiving desert sky. Whaddup Brit, you must be dealing with some pretty complicated emotions right now.

-What?? No way, I’m totally, totally fine!

I mean sure, why wouldn’t you be, it’s not like you’ve fucked literally everything up. After spending half of college dealing with fucking HaremGate all I wanted was an uneventful senior year I could speed through, but that would be too easy now, WOULDN’T IT.

-The pins are you well-laid out plans for the future!

UGH Brit seriously, this isn’t happening. As in we’re gonna pretend it literally never happened, you’re gonna marry Daniel, Gunther is gonna marry Mel, everyone will live happily ever after and that’s the last I’m gonna hear of this bullshit.

BRIT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY

-I’m just heartfarting, GAWD

Yea you’re also about to fucking serenade him in front of Mel, have you legit lost your mind??? Is this how the rest of this year will go, me chasing you around cancelling your dumbass actions?

-Probably! lolol!

-Aww Brit, if there was an award for best couple, we would definitely win it <3

-Oh please, Gunther and I have you totally beat!

-Yea right Mel, bet you §10 me and Brit are gonna move in together before you and Gunther do!

-…So how you liking that pizza, Gunther?

-…Oh it’s good, Brit, thanks for asking.

Meanwhile it looks like my restless Jojo/Wyatt reconciliation efforts have finally borne fruit! Good job, Wyatt!

-It’s no job, I’m just following mon coeur!

Nice, follow it all the way to redemption!

YASSSS. I can’t stress enough how many times Wyatt had to apologize to get us to this point, I’m talking half their awake time for 3 days. God. The whole thing has been an extremely repetitive nightmare but finally we can put it to rest. Much like we put Frances! BURN IN HELL

Finally, the universe has responded to my desperate pleas. I will even forgive the creepy ass llama because for once the cheering is completely appropriate. Reunited and it feels so good! Especially for me because if I had to press the apologize button one more time istg.

Well.. The universe giveth and the universe taketh away. Literally can’t leave these dicks unsupervised for more than a minute before they start slutting it up. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO

-Oh oh oh oh oh OH, caught in a bad romance <3

STOP SINGING INTO EACH OTHER’S MOUTHS. It’s time for drastic measures. Gunther is obviously unfamiliar with the concept of decency but maybe there’s still hope for Brittany..

..especially after Daniel gives her a high-class romantic evening! Looking great, Dan. Please stop picking your teeth.

-I’m so uncomfortable, my hair hasn’t seen the light of day since I was a toddler! I’m putting my cap back on.

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Also suppress your gag reflex + every instinct in your body because it’s time-

-to hit Londoste! OOH LA LA

-Brit, I feel like we’re.. ridiculously overdressed.

-No such thing, darling!

-I’ll be having the filet mignon and a glass of the Veronaville ‘64, thank you.

-And I’ll be having chicken nuggets and a detailed report of the working conditions in this bourgie hellhole.

-DANIEL YOU PROMISED

-Let’s raise a glass to us and our magical evening together-

-Yes, and this delicious food, stained with the tears of the working farmhand-

-Daniel, please.

-My beloved ice queen, even though the diamond engagement ring “tradition” is another completely made up, SHAMELESS CAPITALIST SCAM, I just couldn’t bear the thought of wounding your gigantic, aggressively materialistic ego.. Marry me, my darling, be my Nadezhda!

-OH baby of course I’ll marry you! Everything before this moment doesn’t count, right?

-I mean.. sure?

-Great!

Yes, what a wonderful, subtle night.

-Oh Brit, you make me the happiest worker alive, which of course is a completely paradoxical state under capitalism!

AWW MEANT TO BE <3 Finally we can put that gross, freckled chapter behind us.

THAT’S RIGHT YOU BETTER RUN

-WOOO congrats for not cheating for an entire day, Gunther!

Our greek house is currently at a pathetic level 3 and it’s not hard to see why. As if the graves of Jojo’s former flames weren’t enough to put people off, imagine walking by and seeing this.

This shit is still going on and has reached the hate-boner point where these two have permanent wants to see each other’s ghost. So much for nice points!

Also going on: this bizzare, inexplicable feud that appeared literally out of nowhere.

-SHUT UP WYATT MAGIC ISN’T REAL

-IT SO IS MAGIQUE IS ALL AROUND US

Finals are upon us! Only one semester of this fuckery left. There are of course two kinds of people, the kind pictured above..

..and my peeps.

Gunther, who hasn’t done anything college related since we were back in the dorms and Blue Meatballs et al were writing his papers, somehow still has a 4.0 gpa. Wow Gunther, what’s your secret??

-It’s no secret, I banged the half-alien professor.

Oh right lmao. You’re looking pretty down boo, what’s wrong?

-Man idk, I’m struggling with what might be like.. legit feelings for Brit.

WHAT. WELL PUT THEM BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM GUNTHER AND DRINK YOUR SORROWS AWAY LIKE AN ADULT. GOD

YOU TOO BRITTANY. ISTFG YOU ASSHOLES ARE NOT FUCKING THIS UP ANY FURTHER.

CAUSE HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST PERSON WHO WENT OFF SCRIPT. Looking good, Fran!

…………………………poor Brittany obviously suffered a stroke at some unspecified point in time. As if she didn’t have enough problems.

SO. CLOSE. We just have to get through this one semester without the entire charade imploding, is that too much to ask????

APPARENTLY YES. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER

-The heart wants what it wants.

What DOES it want tho, Selena, cause last time I checked you were in love with Mel you GIANT ASS

-Yea, hell if I know! Huhu!

IF I HEAR YOU PEOPLE HUHU ONE MORE TIME

In equally distressing news Mickey Dosser was passing by and I invited him in just to see if he would go straight for the bubbles, which he of course did..

..a move so irresistible that Wyatt had to stop and swoon over him literally in the middle of his millionth Jojo apology. I’ve honestly never had a sim court death as persistently as Wyatt, dude straight up WANTS TO DIE.

-HOW DARE YOU WALTZ IN HERE AND TRY TO SEDUCE MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES YOU VILE DISGUSTING SLOB

-Wut

-GET. OUT. BEFORE I STUFF YOU AND PUT YOU ON MY PORCH FOR HALLOWEEN

-Wyatt.. I sensed it was you.

-Of course, Jojό <3 I got your message, why did you send a raven, I’m just upstairs-

-SILENCE. I invited you here, to my favorite place on this entire wretched planet, the center around which revolves my very existence..

-..to ask you a very important question that I want you to CAREFULLY consider, taking into account that you’re standing next to the graves of the last people to betray me..

-Wyatt Monif, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance, I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard, which despite all my struggles and your whoring around, has overcome every rational objection, and I beg you most fervently to relieve my suffering and consent to be my husband. Also to please ignore my brother woohooing in the hot tub behind us and ruining the moment.

-MON DIEU JOJÓ, OUI, OUI A THOUSAND TIMES OUI!! <3

-Wyatt.

-Oui? <3

-Please don’t make me murder you, ok? Promise?

-Never, Jojό!

AW, what a beautiful engagement you guys, I’m tearing up.

AND FINALLY, IT’S OVER. Gunther seriously graduated summa cum laude, how in the fucking world I legit dk but whatever!

The last supper.. The Union bros have all graduated and I’m gonna speed-play the rest through their last year. Also Daniel and Melody are bffs now, I didn’t even know they were talking but nice.

Time to go back where we came from! Ah, all grown up. It seems like yesterday they were toddlers surviving on cat food.

Brit is the youngest of the bunch and has the whole house to herself after Mel and Wyatt graduate, a situation she takes advantage of by ALMOST CHEATING WITH THE FUCKING LLAMA. BRIT ISTG

Finally, it’s time for Brit to leave our gross, incestuous cocoon. We’re gonna need a placeholder for the next generation tho, so as much as it pains me to say..

..it’s Frances time. Bitch literally scares Brit as she’s trying to resurrect him, way to make me doubt my merciful decision Fran!

Ugh great. Welcome back, Frances. I really did prefer you dead.

Yea, can’t make any promises there. I don’t know what kind of wave of kindness overcame me, but I felt bad for Fran being all alone so…

-I’M BACK BITCHES

Can’t believe we wasted 20k on these assholes but whatever. Time to grow up, Brit!

Oh yea, looking good! Taking the ‘on Wednesdays we wear pink’ rule to extreme lengths.

And we’re out of here, leaving the place in the capable hands of Fran and Ti-Ning, who immediately reconnect for a hot tub celebration of life.

So normally you’d think that would be the end of it and we’d get to the heir vote, right? RIGHT?

WRONG. Please bear with me through this incredible bullshit. So I’m taking the heir vote portraits, specifically Jojo’s, and everyone else is hanging around on the edges of this empty photoshoot lot, when suddenly the fight cloud appears. At first I think it’s Wyatt/Daniel aka business as usual but then I make the horrifying discovery that it’s.. DANIEL/BRIT.

As expected, the MINUTE I looked away, Gunther/Brit went for it in plain sight, leading to the eruption of a massive shitshow. I’m like ok w/e we’re basically in pre-heir vote limbo so it doesn’t count, I’ll just quit without saving. But THEN I take a look at Daniel’s panel.. AND SEE THIS:

I’ve literally no idea WTF HAPPENED, HOW IT HAPPENED, WHY, WHO MADE THE FIRST MOVE but the fact is that right after catching Gunther/Brit cheating, Melody and Daniel somehow got together even though they have never given any indication of being into each other and have one sole pathetic bolt. My best guess is 4-nice-points Melody went for it as a revenge but seriously WHAT THE FUCK

GOOD TIMES. At this point I’m obviously even more like ‘I’M GONNA QUIT WITHOUT SAVING’ so I’m just taking these pics for shits and giggles, but THEN I look at Gunther’s panel… and see probably the most disturbing want I’ve ever come across:

OK THEN. Reminder that Gunther’s secondary is PLEASURE so there’s literally no explanation for this shit except for legit. true love. As much planning as I did for these couples I’m like who am I to refuse A ROMANCE SIM’S engagement want???? I mean I also planned for Jojo to marry Frances and we all saw how that went. So I decide to save the game, even though it’s kinda unorthodox since it didn’t happen during actual gameplay but w/e, you just can’t ignore shit like that!!

So I revisit the lot the next day and am faced with a shitshow of cosmic proportions. The whole thing is like a bizzaro parallel universe, I mean you have Brit and Dan legit looking like they crossed over from the set of NLL..

..Gunther and Mel heartfarting over each other while also wanting to beat each other up..

..this torrid affair out in the open..

..AND WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS. I changed their turn-ons and now they have 3 bolts cause it felt like they really got the short end of the stick but I still can’t get over this bullshit happening in the first place. At least Jojo and Wyatt are having a good time! I guess at this point there’s only one thing left to do..

..simultaneous break ups! The couple that dumps their fiances together stays together.

Moving on to simultaneous crying/sighs of relief. If it seems like I’m halfassing this by not writing any dialogue it’s because I am, but I legit can’t, the whole situation is just too absurd to dramatize.

And now to complete the wife-swap..

Incredible. Now, hold on to your seats, everyone.. because the red ring memory..

IS NOT GUNTHER’S. WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL. BRIT GOT A RED RING FROM HER ROMANCE SECONDARY BUT SOMEHOW GUNTHER DIDN’T??? Honestly I’m hardly a romantic but. TRUE LOVE. Or a glitch. Let’s go with true love.

And there you have it. The end of generation 1, which will live in the annals of history as the one where literally no one ended up with the person I had in mind for them and I might as well haven’t been there for all the control I had over these assholes.

NOW. TIME TO VOTE.

WHO WILL IT BE????

Head over to my lj for a handy guide to voting + the link to the poll. Thank you all for reading! <3

#ts2 #union legacy

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