#if I’m lonely it’s because I chose to be. If I’m sad it’s because I chose to be and I do not deserve to feel like I was abandoned

[cherrysnax]

I’ve been. having dreams about people we used to know

[genshin-obsessed]

POCKY I HAVE A NEW IDEA 👀

With any of the boys you feel like writing for:

(Both star rail and genshin are fine! But if you could include Cyno and perhaps Gepard that would be lovely <3)

Reader who accidentally loses their engagement/wedding ring. Maybe they took it off to shower and it got lost or (if you want angst) they got into a serious accident/were kidnapped/etc. and it was lost in all the excitement. In any case reader feels terrible about it and is crying and apologizing to him and we get lots of comfort at the end hehe

✧ Ooh I chose to do both fandoms! This sounds super cute and fun! This was a lot more fun than I thought it would be! I hope you like it ✧ Includes: Cyno, Kaveh, Alhaitham, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Blade. ✧ Extra: I think I’m starting to like my ooc Blade… also it's a bit lengthy!

✧ ─ GENSHIN IMPACT ─ ✧

» Cyno «

Cyno had actually had the ring custom made. It was one of your few cherished possessions. You looked at it multiple times a day. Any friend you met, you’d happily show them the ring to which they just chuckled. Newly engaged couples tended to do that.

You did your best not to take the ring off willy nilly. If there wasn’t a reason for it to come off then it didn’t need to come off. You also placed it in one place if you ever did take it off, in a jar on your nightstand.

You… weren’t sure what the hell happened but the ring kinda vanished. It was one minute and then it wasn’t. You knew you didn’t take it off. But it was gone.

At first, you were in denial. There was no way it just disappeared like that. But it wasn’t on your finger, so where was it?

You had practically destroyed your bedroom in search of that ring. The fact that it wasn’t on your finger was sending so much anxiety through you, it was bringing you to tears. You hadn’t even realized what ruckus you’d caused since you were too busy in your own head.

“(Y/n)!” A loud voice called, finally breaking you from your trance. You looked up to see Cyno standing there with wide, concern-filled eyes. “What happened? Did someone hurt you? Are you ok?”

When you saw him, you started crying even harder, feeling the guilt well up in your chest. You knew it was difficult for Cyno to have that ring made and you just went and lost it like an idiot! You covered your mouth, trying to muffle your sobs.

Cyno, on the other hand, was also panicking, wondering if his simple entrance had ruined your day. Of course that sounded ridiculous so he slowly approached you, grabbing your shoulders.

“Hey, hey, ok, just- just breathe, ok? I won’t understand anything and I can’t help if you keep crying like this.” It took you a good five minutes before you were able to calm down enough to explain what happened.

“I-I lost the ring.” You managed how, holding your hand up to show your finger with the ring missing. Cyno felt both relief and sadness. He was relieved that nothing serious had happened such as someone threatening you, hurting you, or someone you loved. But he was also sad that you lost the ring- mainly because of how much you were crying. He loved how much you loved the ring, but it was never worth this many tears.

Cyno sighed and took that same hand, placing a kiss on your now lonely ring finger. He leaned in and kissed your forehead too, giving you a hug.

“It’s just a ring, my darling. I know you loved it- and I’m happy- but I don’t want you to cry this much over it. It’ll be ok, we can find it. Or get a new one.” You immediately shook your head at his last offer.

“No, I want that one. I don’t want a new one.” You said, looking up at him. He smiled a little at your stubbornness.

“Ok, then let’s start looking.”

It took a little while- almost an hour- before you two were able to find the ring. Apparently, you had placed it in the drawer of his nightstand accidentally and didn’t think to check it because you don’t usually touch his things. You felt a little silly but you were over the moon to have your ring back.

» Alhaitham «

Alhaitham’s ring for you was nothing short of magnificent. Everyone noticed it without you saying anything as it was so eye-catching.

Because of this, you were extremely careful when going anywhere alone. The ring was no doubt expensive, and you didn’t want to take any chances.

The thing was… sometimes people just followed without you realizing. Normally, if you were Alhaitham, he’d notice almost immediately. You on your own, however, could not do that.

You hadn’t even realized it but there was a thug in front of you demanding you hand over anything of value to him.

You scrambled to give him all the money and jewelry you had, hoping he’d let you go free. Then his eyes fell on your beautiful, sparkling ring. You felt your heart sink as he pointed to it.

“That too- gimme that too!” He yelled, wanting to show you that he wasn’t scared or in the mood to waste time. You slowly shook your head, feeling the fear spreading further through your body and solidifying your legs to the ground.

“Please l-let me keep this, I gave you everything else.” You said, tears blurring your vision, forcing you to blink to get them out.

“No, no, I want that too. You either hand it over or I take it off your corpse.” He growled, glaring at you. Realizing that Alhaitham would be even more angry knowing you put yourself in harm’s way, you found what little courage you had and slid the ring off of your finger. Your hands were shaking and there was a vice grip on it because you didn’t want to lose it. But eventually… you let go. The thug took it and ran off, leaving you standing in the dark, crying.

It was almost ten minutes later when you found yourself having the energy to walk back when you saw an extremely worried Alhaitham racing towards you.

“(y/n)! Where have you been?! Do you know how worried I was?!” He yelled as he instantly engulfed you in his arms, squeezing you almost too tightly. You hugged back immediately, needing that comfort desperately. 

Finally, you mustered up the courage to tell him that you’d given up the ring. Willingly. Kinda. 

“Good,” Alhaitham said, making your eyes widen. “It’s better than your life. I could buy a thousand rings like that, but I only have one of you.” He said as he took your face, gently wiping your tears away. “You did the right thing, we’ll get you a new ring.”

His words did bring some level of comfort to you, but you still felt a little guilty for having lost such a beautiful ring.

“W-what if I want that one? And only that one.” You asked, sniffling a little. Alhaitham smiled, kissing your cheek.

“Then we’ll get that one back.”

As promised, Alhaitham didn’t rest until he caught the thud, making sure to retrieve all of your items- especially your ring. He also made sure he was the one who slid it onto your finger- again.

» Kaveh «

Kaveh’s ring was intricate and on the inside, had an engraving which translated how much he adored you and that he would forever. That ring was something you cherished so much. You showed him every single day how beautiful it looked. He just chuckled and nodded, always kissing your ring finger.

You tried to keep the ring on your finger 24/7, making sure it washed well with every hand wash. You didn’t like taking it off very often, always worrying it might just get lost.

If you did take it off, you actually kept it in sight. Placing it in the center of the counter and making sure it would just fall off or something.

One day, you’d had a particularly busy day and you were pretty exhausted. You’d remembered taking your ring off for a minute to wash up but when you came back… it was gone.

All that exhaustion was gone and suddenly, all you felt was panic and dread. Where did it go? Where did the ring go?! You looked everywhere you possibly could, trying not to think of the worst. But with every passing second you couldn’t find the ring, those thoughts invaded your mind and all you could see was a very angry Kaveh.

You began to tear the entire room apart, throwing things around as you started to search in every nook and cranny. Of course, you didn’t realize Kaveh was even in the room until he grabbed your shoulders, making you scream.

“It’s me! What are you doing?” He asked with a look of concern as he gestured to your shared bedroom. You paused and started looking around- it was a disaster. Everything was everywhere and it would take hours to clean up.

“I-I’m sorry…” you mumbled in a small voice, wiping your cheeks. Kaveh’s expression didn’t change but he took both of your wrists and slowly pulled you to the bed, stepping over all the clothes and items.

“Sit.” He said as he grabbed a water bottle from off the floor. He took off the cap and held it out to you. “Just take a second and tell me what’s wrong.” He said before he kneeled in front of you, rubbing your thigh a little to comfort you.

You sipped the water, taking a few deep breaths to calm down so you could actually explain what was going on. You could see just how worried he was- not to mention, you could see the slight redness and glossiness in his eyes. Kaveh hated it when you cried- if you cried hard enough, that pain transferred to him and sometimes… he’d tear up a little.

“I lost the ring.” You said as you showed him your left hand. “I-I just set it down and I don’t know where it went.” You sniffled feeling the tears come back, but Kaveh grabbed your hands and kissed your ring finger.

“It’s ok, love. We can find the ring if it’s in here. But there’s no reason for you to be this upset. It’s just a ring, I could get you another one.”

“No, I want that ring.”

“What if I got you a ring that looked exactly like it?”

“It’s not the same one. I want that one- not another one.” You said, frowning at him. Kaveh only chuckled and nodded, standing up and lifting your head to kiss your lips.

“Ok, then let's start looking.” 

It took a grand total of two and half hours for you to clean up everything and finally find the ring. It had landed under the bed, right next to the leg hiding from view. You were so happy that it was back on your finger that you swore you’d never take it off no matter what. Kaveh just felt better knowing you were ok and happy again.

✯.⋅ HONKAI STAR RAIL ⋅.✯

» Gepard «

Your engagement ring was like your most prized possession. You looked at it every single day since Gepard had proposed and almost never took it off. Even after a month, it was still the most beautiful piece of jewelry you owned.

You were still very careful with everything you did, treating it like glass at times. You even had little covers on the drains so it never fell down the drain. Your worst nightmare was the ring falling down the drain.

There were times you did take it off. Drying your hands was easy without the ring so when you washed your hands… you took it off.

You had ended up getting distracted and when you came back… it was gone.

Panic. Full fledged panic. You looked everywhere you possibly could for that little ring but it was just gone. You even went through the phase of looking at your own hands as if you could forget the feeling of the heavy gem on your hand. 

At this point, you were in tears- absolutely distraught. That’s when Gepard walked into the room.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” He asked with a frown as he walked to you, seeing your state. He was extremely concerned as you were safe in your home so nothing could've happened. But he'd seen too many things to not start panicking a little himself.

“I-I lost it! I can’t find it- I looked everywhere!” You yelled, the tears just pouring down your cheeks. Your heart was beating out of your chest, especially now that Gepard was here. You weren't able to find your ring before he came home.

“Wait, ok, breathe.” He said as he took your shoulders and made you look at him. “Just breathe for a second. What did you lose?” 

You took deep breaths but held up your left hand, showing the missing ring. Gepard frowned and now he understood what made you so upset. 

“Ok, ok, don’t cry. We can find it. We’ll find it, so please don’t cry.” He said as he reached up and dried your tears. He knew the ring meant a lot to you but he didn’t realize how much. It was sweet… but he also hated it when you cried.

“It was s-so expensive! And I-I lost it!” You said as you looked around as if you'd just end up spotting it or something. 

Gepard sighed and shook his head, making you look at him. His warm thumbs slid under your eye to catch the oncoming tears.

“So? Besides, we’ll find it so there’s no reason to cry this hard. Come on, we’ll look all day if we have to.” He said, kissing your forehead. You could feel the intense relief, knowing he wasn’t angry at you or disappointed in you. Now you just had to find the ring. 

And you did. It had fallen and landed behind your desk. It was hard to see with how little room there was between the wall and desk.

» Blade «

You loved that ring. Honestly, even after a month or so, you still hadn’t gotten over how beautiful the ring was. You adored it.

When you took your engagement ring off, you had a special little box you put it in. You closed it and locked it every single time.

This particular time you were a bit busy and frazzled. You weren’t thinking and you just realized the ring wasn’t on your finger. So you went to your box to get it. 

It was gone. Like it grew legs and walked off! Panic set in immediately because there’s no way you left it anywhere else.

“Ok, ok, just… breathe.” You told yourself as you took slow, deep breaths. They were so forced that it made you even more anxious.

Tears blurred your vision as you tried to think where you could’ve left it. No location came to mind- only a very angry Blade. God, you were so irresponsible! That ring was so expensive and you lost it about a month after getting it!

So you began to tear apart your bedroom in a desperate attempt to find the ring. That’s when Blade walked in, but you were too busy to notice him. He looked around both confused and concerned.

“What the hell…?” His voice makes you yell as you turn around and his eyes widen a little at the sight of your tear-stricken face. “What happened? Are you ok?” He asked as he walked to you, stepping over the items thrown about.

“I-I lost it. I’m sorry! I’ll find it so don’t worry! I’ll look everywhere.”

“I’m sure we can just buy it again.” He said in his usual monotone as he began to wipe your tears with a tissue he grabbed from nearby. He had no idea what you were talking about at first, but if a missing item made you this upset, then he'd just get it for you again. Simple.

You just held your hand up to show the missing ring making him stare for a moment. Oh.

“Yeah, I can buy another one of those too.” You shook your head, sniffling. 

“N-no, I don’t want a new one. I want that one.” No ring could possibly compare to that first one. You refused to give up. If someone stole it- highly unlikely- you’d find them and take it back. You were that desperate.

“Fine. We’ll find it then but you’re not gonna see anything with all those tears in your eyes.” He said as he dabbed your eyes again. He wrapped an arm around you, giving you a tight hug, rubbing your back. It upset him when you cried… so now he really had to find that ring. 

You two eventually found it, you’d actually left it on the kitchen counter when you were going to cut the chicken, not wanting to get any on it. You didn’t put it away because it was only a few minutes that you’d be busy.

Somehow, the ring had fallen onto the ground and rolled under the counter. When Blade found it, he made sure to be the one to slip it back onto your fingers, asking if you felt better now that you had the ring back. You did. 100%.

» Jing Yuan «

The day Jing Yuan proposed to you was one of the happiest of your life. You flaunted that ring everywhere to the point where some of his friends were concerned you might get attacked for the ring. It was definitely expensive.

Removal of the ring was near impossible, you didn’t take it off for any reason. If you were doing something that might stain- you wore thick gloves. But taking that ring off never happened.

It was endearing for Jing Yuan. He’d often catch you just staring at it with that goofy smile on your face. And it brought him a world of joy. He was worried you wouldn’t like it.

But right now… you kinda wished you had been a bit more careful. You showed off your ring too much.

“A-and the ring! Gimme that ring!” The man said as he pointed his gun at you. You were willing to give over anything except that. You covered your ring with your hand and shook your head.

“N-no… no, I can’t give you my ring.” You said with a frown.

“I’ll kill you! Give it to me!” He threatened and you were terrified but you shook your head.

“Please don’t take it. You can take everything else just n-not my ring.” You said with the tears in your eyes. Your hands were shaking and your heart was pounding in your chest. 

A yelp escaped your lips when the barrel of the gun touched your forehead. All you could do was stand there as he reached over and slid the beautiful ring off your finger and scoffed.��

“Idiot.” With that, he ran off. You were frozen in fear, unable to move or breathe as if you were wondering if he’d return. 

You heard yelling only a few moments later but it didn’t matter to you. You just stood there, feeling the anger and frustration in your heart. Why didn’t you do something else!? You just stood there!

“(Y/n)!” A voice called but you were too busy in your thoughts. “(Y/n)!” You only registered the voice when you felt your shoulders move. It was Jing Yuan. He looked both angry and terrified as he tried to bring you back from your shock. “It’s ok, it’s just me.” He said when he saw you flinch.

You wasted no time hugging him so tightly as you felt a pang of guilt. You lost the ring. You never listened and now the ring was gone. You could just cry as he held you, trying his best to give you a moment. 

“H-he took it! He took m-my ring!” You said, barely able to breathe. 

“Shh, it’s ok, it’s fine. I’ll get you another one.” He said as he felt his own heart break at your distress.

“N-no! No, I want that one!” You said as you looked up. He frowned as he took your face and wiped your tears.

“Ok, I’ll get you that one. I promise, just please don’t cry.” Jing Yuan wasn’t one to cry but if you were crying this badly, then his eyes do get a little teary as well. He feels your pain, no matter what kind. Once you were calm, he made sure to take you back home, assuring you his men were out looking.

Eventually, you two were met with good news. The mugger was arrested only an hour or so after the crime and all your belongings had been taken back by the knights. Including your beloved ring.

[ariesmoontarot]

Important Message From Spirit🦋

The Piles:

Book A Personal Reading Here

The collective is in this very emotional energy. It’s like feeling so imaginative, passionate, in love (even if you don’t have a lover), & so sad and lonely at the same time. We’ve been feeling everything so deeply and our intuition is extremely heightened during this time. We’re very sensitive to energies and other peoples feelings, even our own feelings. This reading is timeless so whenever you come across this, it’ll be meant for you.

♡Pile One♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you might’ve found love in the city, out of town (or they were out of town), you could be from a city or the other way around, but overall there’s this energy of looking for spiritual love. You want a deep connection that connects you to deeper parts of yourself. For some of you it could be that maybe you are finding love within yourself and learning to live in your truth. I see you expressing yourself authentically and being open and honest about how you feel and what you’re thinking. I also see some of you having a conversation with someone who will be expressing how they truly feel for you.

Channeled Song: We Found Love -Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris ( when she says “we found love in a hopeless place”) Hey There Lonely Girl -Eddie Holman (when he says “hey there lonely girl, lonely girl, don’t you know this lonely boy loves you”.) , Confidence -Ocean Alley (when he says “It’s all about confidence, babyyy”.)

I’m seeing you in this soft, nurturing energy. You’re loving yourself more, taking care of those around you, for some of you taking care of your kid(s), family, & the things you cherish most. You’re feeling really appreciative or you will be. I also see that someone has really nice eyes. Could be blue, light brown, or greenish hazel. Spirit is saying that you’ve been really patient, dedicated, & efficient. You’re putting in efficient effort into your priorities, goals, & connections. For some of you I’m hearing you’re focusing on nature or connecting with animals, taking care of animals/pets. Take that how it resonates. You’re reaping some type of reward for your hard work and discipline and it’s related to a relationship or important connection in your life. I’m hearing you’ve healed something that was hurting you and you’ve learned to love yourself and the things around you more deeply. You’ve connected to your roots and strengthened your faith and in doing this, you’ve removed illusions and feelings of confusion because you’re more grounded within your energy. You were feeling stuck in a temporary situation and it could’ve been in a connection for some of you. It was causing anxiety, stress, fear, & imbalance in your life. It definitely took up a lot of your thoughts and I’m seeing a change happening where you’re taking back your power and gaining control over your mind. Now isn’t the time for you to do anything impulsive or risky. Like diving into some kind of situation that you know isn’t good for you, that will resonate for some of you. It’s like someone left you out in the cold, kicked you while you were down, wasn’t there for you when you needed them most and everytime you’re thriving, looking good, healthy etc. they want to come back in and try to trick you into focusing on them or what you could’ve had with them. Don’t let this person in your energy for those that resonate with this. For my feminines I feel like you’re finally tapping back into your loving, compassionate, and nurturing energy. You’ve manifested communication with someone that you share a deep connection with and I’m sensing you really trust this person or you will. It can be a friend, lover, family, whatever. There’s distance between you and I feel like you’ve both been alone for some time. You’ve spent time in solitude, self reflecting, and so has this person. Trust your intuition and how you feel. I feel like this is a connection that is meant to heal you and it will bring you so much joy and happiness. it is the type of connection that will heal your inner child and bring back out your creativity. I feel like whenever you met or got closer to each other you both were in a period of your life where there was a lack of faith and hope. It’s like where hard times meet and end for the both of you. Not necessarily end, but they get so much easier to deal with when you’re with this person or have each other in your lives. Both of you could’ve grew up in families, or in an urban city/ place that was of low income. This connection is divinely guided. For those of you where this is a romantic situation, I see them hiding how they truly feel about you behind this cold demeanor because they’re still learning how they feel so they can better understand it. However, they are very honest and blunt with you. I feel like they could be a little distant at times or when you communicate with them it’s very quick and doesn’t necessarily last for that long. The conversations are short between you. They’re very patient and kind towards you. I feel like they really value this connection with you. Romantically speaking, they want to take their time with you and I see them wanting a very long-term commitment with you. For others there is some type of investment that you and this person are working towards together and it will be successful spirit is saying. Things might feel stagnant like they are moving slow or not exactly going at the pace that you want but I feel like this is the pace that you need.

This person feels a little bit stuck right now because they are gaining clarity about how they feel and trying to figure out a way to offer you something. it’s like they’re trying to figure out a way to communicate with you that they want a relationship with you, and they want to be able to invest in a future with you but they need a little bit of time to come forward, but they will. For others I feel like there are some type of ideas or plans that are being made and this person involved needs time to be able to think about what they wanna do and how they wanna go about these plans. Romantically they don’t wanna lose you. They are already sad as it is because I feel like they know that you’re holding back a deeper part of yourself, and they want to see and experience that deeper part of you. They want you to express your love for them and they want you to be nurturing and I’m seeing that they think that you are their person and they are hiding how they feel because of fear. They’re also letting go of bad habits and their pride. What’s next for you guys in romantic situations, I see this person coming in fast and they’re ready to tell you how they feel because I feel like they can’t see life without you in it you make them so happy and having you in their life feels like a blessing. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow but it’s coming really really soon. For those of you in other situations that aren’t romantic I see this person getting really inspired by something and that specific idea or feeling that they have, they’re going to tell you about it and it’s going to be something that is really smart and it will make the both of you very happy. For those of you who have kids and it’s not with this person, I see you getting in a relationship with them and they’re being very loving and supportive with you and your child or children. They want to take care of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Two♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’ve been very emotional and tapping into a deep part of yourself. You could be spending time alone, meditating, & learning more about who you are and what you believe in. Spirit is helping you learn to be more honest with yourself and others about how you feel and developing healthy ways of expressing it. Life could be flowing easily and I’m getting this energy of peace and serenity.

Channeled Song: No Air - Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown (the part where she says “if I should die before I wake, it’s cause you took my breath away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air.”)

There’s a connection in your life that you’ve been really patient about and I feel like things haven’t progressed the way you wanted. I’m hearing you put so much energy into it, but this person involved hasn’t shown up and offered you anything. You’ve put your focus and intention on loving yourself and those you cherish. You’re also focused on your responsibilities. 1111 can be significant. Communication, understanding, and honesty has been so hard with this person because when you try to talk to them it’s like they come off so cold and turn everything into a disagreement. They give you the cold shoulder and try to undermine you. I’m seeing that they always make it seem like things are harder for them and don’t consider your feelings, what you’re thinking, or even what you’re saying. It’s like talking to them is a losing game. However you’ve been independent, determined, confident, loving, & nurturing. You haven’t let this situation affect you. Or at least you aren’t anymore. You’re standing your ground. I’m seeing you manifesting clarity & you’re learning a very important lesson here. This person hurt you and has no intention of showing up the way you need them to. This could be a past person for a lot of you. They were blocking your blessings because you’ve held on and waited for them meanwhile they didn’t acknowledge it. You felt stuck and didn’t want to free yourself because you loved them. However it caused a lot of anxiety, confusion, indecision, & fear for you. It imbalanced your spiritual and emotional side. For a lot of you it’s that there’s a past person you’re holding onto that must be let go of in order for your blessing to be revealed. There are illusions and deceit in your life. Maybe it’s you just deceiving yourself because you know this person isn’t good for you. You’re self sabotaging yourself by allowing someone who’s only holding you back stick around. You don’t need this person, you want them. They don’t benefit you. You were drowning in emotion trying to save this person and just simply love them, but I’m hearing it’s time to let go. If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it’s for you, but if it doesn’t then you’ll know. Sometimes people will come back just for unhealthy reasons tho but when I say come back I mean come back and show up. Im hearing you take no chances of missing out. You’ll love someone for as long as you possibly can. You’ve been tossed to the side, left behind, lied to, and pushed away, but you still love endlessly. It’s time for that chapter of your life to end. You’re stepping into a new phase of your life and all that being breadcrumbed, confused, misled, lied to, and manipulated is in the past. You’re setting boundaries and you no longer tolerate it. I’m seeing you have the upper hand in a situation and you’re abundant. With energy, resources, whatever it is you may be abundant in you are able to share this with people who need it. I’m hearing you’re generous with your time and energy and you don’t mind spending quality time with those who need a light in their life. There is multiple energies around you. Multiple people who want your attention. I’m seeing you have your eyes set on what you want and you know exactly what that is. You want a deep connection with someone you can trust and commit to. I’m hearing you’ve checked out. You’ve put your emotions aside and now you’re giving off more of this intellectual energy. More aware, understanding, honest, smart, strategic, & blunt. You have very good discernment. Especially when it comes to other people’s energies and what is good for you and what isn’t. Trust what you know. Right now I’m having a hard time getting your messages out and I feel like spirit is saying the focus is you. You are the main highlight right now and you’re stepping into this divine feminine energy. If you don’t have feminine energy you’re stepping into a more intuitive, empathetic, nurturing energy. You are a healer whether you know it or not but you attract people who need you and your energy.

Just be careful not to let others drain you. Whatever blessings are coming for you spirit isn’t revealing too much. You’re diving deep into self reflection and spiritual awareness and I’m seeing you aren’t focused on love or relationships. Those come when you aren’t expecting it. Right now spirit is teaching you important lessons.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Three♡:

Based off the picture you chose I’m getting this energy of you feeling a bit melancholic and nostalgic in a bittersweet way. You’re spending time alone and focusing on tapping in with yourself because you’ve been feeling detached and disconnected from your feelings, maybe even your surroundings.

Channeled Song: Lose Control -Teddy Swims (specifically heard the part when he says “problematic, problem is I want your body like a fiend, like a bad habit. Bad habits hard to break when I’m with you. Yeah I know I can do it on my own, but I want that real full moon black magic, and it takes two.”)

I’m seeing that there are outside factors disrupting your life. It’s like situations that happen may feel like nothing ever goes your way. You’re holding back so much love and emotion and in this energy of hiding your love, hiding how you feel, being closed off emotionally, & feeling like you’re having a hard time letting go of emotions from your past. Maybe you’re having a hard time letting go of the way someone has made you feel. It’s like the feeling of rejection is weighing on you and maybe because of that hurt you’re isolating yourself and feeling lonely. You’re keeping yourself from being able to open up emotionally in connections. You know how you feel and why it is you feel the way you do but you’re still holding onto that hurt due to fear and anxiety. There is someone that God has for you and I’m seeing they will help you see through the illusions of your own emotions. Maybe even your pride is in the way. However this person is very emotionally intelligent and understanding they can just come off as very private at times. They know when to speak and they’re both logical and Intuitive when it comes to expressing themselves. They can be very passionate and flirty at times and sometimes be very rash about what they say or do. There’s a feeling either you’re feeling like you aren’t being appreciated enough or they are but I feel like spirit is telling you to step it up. Don’t hold back. Be open and free spirited. Allow yourself to feel and enjoy the feeling of love. Maybe you overthink too much at times and don’t allow yourself to feel. Some of you take your person for granted by not being emotionally there and making sure their needs are being met too. You’re very guarded about letting them in because of your boundaries. Spirit wants you to do what brings you joy. Don’t keep the sun out of your life because you’ve been hurt. I’m also hearing that no matter how other people act or what they say, never stop being you. You can come off with this very rigid and vain energy at times and I’m hearing it’s your ego. Listen to your intuitive side and give the love you want to give. Don’t listen to your fear. You are holding yourself back from receiving the love spirit wants you to receive. You’re hurting yourself because you won’t open up about how you feel to someone. I feel like you avoid conflicts and have a fear that you opening up about how you feel will start an argument. Know that hiding how you feel and refusing to communicate will only make things worse for you. It’s okay to feel passionate and excited. It’s okay to want someone and it’s okay to express how you feel to that person. I also feel like you don’t open up when you’re sad and you try to hide everything. Not everyone can read your mind. If you feel really overwhelmed take some time for yourself and then open up when you feel ready. Try to balance yourself out so your love life can be balanced as well. The more you’re in harmony with yourself and in tune with your emotions the more your love life improves. You miss opportunities when you refuse to make a choice and stay in a period of inaction. If you know what you want then act on it instead of letting the world make decisions for you. You will feel so much better when you allow yourself to do what you feel guided to do. Treat your partner with lovingly and morally. I feel like you want marriage and there is someone you deeply love in your life. This connection has the potential to lead to marriage. All you have to do is be honest. Even if this relationship doesn’t work out with the person you have in your life right now, you being honest and open will help you evolve and learn new lessons you need in order to move forward. I am seeing a positive result coming from your honesty though. Be sure that you know what you want before you act on it and plan your approach before taking action. All you need is confidence, courage, and drive. I feel like you’re picky about your lovers and so is this person. You both need independence and your own alone time.

Spirit is saying to be patient when it comes to this person. You both feel the same about each other honestly. I feel like if you say I love you to each other it’s genuine. If you haven’t said it yet you both love each other unconditionally. You’re ready to move forward and come towards your person. You might be scared because financially maybe you don’t feel stable and that creates insecurity within you but know that it’s okay. You don’t have to feel insecure about it with this person. Or with anyone for that matter. You may not be where you want to be financially but you don’t have to let that stop you. They think you are very intelligent and it’s a turn on for them. They are so attracted to the way you think and I feel like they admire the way you see life. They feel like you are their person and the relationship with you is very strong. It’s best to treat each other with gentleness and empathy because this relationship is very passionate so sometimes if not treated the right way anger or frustration can be an issue. You both want the traditional structured relationship and I’m seeing very high potential for this to happen. Be positive and do what you feel guided to do!! Pile one might resonate with some of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Four♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’re gaining clarity on a situation you didn’t see clearly before. Spirit is showing you the truth about something you’ve been feeling and it might be a truth that hurts, but it also lifts a weight that was holding you back or stagnant. It doesn’t have to be a truth that hurts though, that’s only for some!

Channeled Song: Counting Stars -OneRepublic (it’s crazy to me because in this song he says “in my face is flashing signs, seek it out and ye shall find.” And obviously lightning flashes)

You’re feeling a bit sad and disappointed because of a situation that happened in the recent past. I feel like you’re focused on the hurt rather than the positive side of things. Spirit is saying there are opportunities that are for you right now but you aren’t seeing them because you’re focused on negative feelings. However there is a wish fulfillment or something happening for you that will inspire you and give you hope. It’s like a divine revelation. You must get out of your own way. There are negative thoughts and fears circling your mind and this leads to self sabotage and constant hopelessness. There is abundance, love, happiness, and so much more waiting for you but you must let go of your worries. It’s easier said than done but when you tell yourself there is better you will eventually start to believe it. I see a romantic connection in store for a lot of you. For others I feel like a truth about a connection in your life has been revealed and it’s made you sad but it was for your own good. Things haven’t progressed the way you want them to but it’s because you aren’t focused on watering whatever it is you want to grow. I feel like some of you got clarity about how you feel towards someone and because you’re focused on how disappointed you are from other situations you’re not focused on this person. However they are abundant, nurturing, empathetic, intuitive, supportive, and understanding. They have love for you and I feel like they will understand how you feel if you open up to them. For others you’re not watering yourself enough. You aren’t loving yourself or realizing how much of an inspiring, kind, intelligent, divine being you are. Spirit wants you to devote more time and energy to yourself. I feel like communication with someone is happening very soon and there will be clarity and understanding in this conversation. Things will be balancing themselves out pretty quickly but there is a need for honesty. Take that however it resonates. I feel like some of you feel pessimistic about love and moving forward in life but spirit wants you to open up and enjoy the beauty of it. There are better times ahead and I feel like you are going to be receiving some type of good karma for all the hard work you’ve done in the past. You’ve been through so much and God is blessing you with something that will bring you so much peace. Just try to open yourself up to it and let go of the unnecessary burdens you’ve been carrying. Whatever hardships you’ve been facing I see you overcoming them and coming out stronger, more confident, & resilient. I also see you letting go of bad habits and making commitments to a very important job, person, or investment in your life. There will be plenty of opportunities coming your way.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

[oh-my-bindery]

Drarry: I love that Harry the hero is down for murder. But Draco the guy who comes from a long line of a family of dark magic is the one that hates murder (it's literally canon Draco can not kill anyone for shit) and it gives me so many feels. It's partly because I love healer Draco. But also because Harry is reckless and does not have a lot of self preservation. His idea of justice is like you die by the sword.

Definitely! I draw all my conclusions from canon.

Buckle up bc I went on a rant here

The way Draco is written and what we are shown of his actions and character, we can clearly conclude at least few things:

- Draco is a person who fights with his words, that cut deeper than a knife. He knows what he is doing and wants it to hurt. I believe he does it to feel better about himself.

- Draco can’t kill. He literally can’t kill. Even his wand (that chose him) is one that has the most difficult time turining into Dark Arts. It reflects on his character. He is different from his family.

- Draco is a very sensitive boy as we are told by Moaning Myrtle in HBP. We also get to see him break down and for the first time show his real emotions which is a new thing from him. Harry has never seen him cry. Which leads me to ask, why? All 6 years and no one saw Draco cry before? No one saw him express deeper emotions that his usual proud and snarky / bully mask? It is definitely connected to his family, most likely Lucius, as Narcissa is the one who even though believes in blood purity shit, never takes a Dark Mark, never fights for Voldemort, her main concern is always Draco. She has so much love for him. It is probably why Draco even knows that he can allow himself to cry, even if it’s on his own.

- Moaning Myrtle also tells us that Draco is lonely.

- On Harry Potter wiki and Pottermore (I think) it says that Draco was never able to produce a Patronus spell as he didn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory - well that’s sad seeing as Harry was able to do it with how shit his life was.

Draco is supposed to seemingly be rich, get everything he wants, he has a family that is alive , Mother who loves him SO MUCH, father that would she if anything happened to him (well he failed to protect Draco from the worst and then did nothing after the fact, continued being awful but that’s another rant), Slytherins seem to like him, he has some friends although I’m not even sure he likes them or if they like him (from canon we know that by Deathly Hallows - Crabbe and Goyle hate him. Draco never really liked Blaise (or wasn’t fond of him. He tolerated Pansy and had some trust towards her.)

So even though Draco smilingly has all, he doesn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory.

- Draco is terrified of killing someone, so much so he stops eating, keeps to himself and stops being himself when tasked with killing Dumbledore.

When Harry sees Draco in his Voldy visions - Draco looks terrified and broken when asked to torture Rowle - the sight of how Draco is being pushed into doing those horrible things and how much he could be suffering- canonically makes Harry try to get rid of the visions because he doesn’t want to see Draco torture people or if he refuses/ can’t- see Draco being tortured or killed.

- Draco doesn’t care if he dies. Why? Who knows? But he literally lies to his whole family that are depending on him to identify Harry as Harry Potter at the manor and he just doesn’t. He knows what are the consequences of failing to capture Harry are (probably being killed by Voldemort, him and his family.) and Draco knows it is Harry. If he was cruel and and awful person he would say “yep, that’s Potter” but instead Harry notices that Draco looks just as terrified, hands shaky as Harry was. Draco literally would rather have Harry survive and himself die than other way around. It is SO CANON.

And Harry wise

- Harry is super hot-headed as we know.

I think looking at his reaction when Sirius was killed, he literally sprung from Remus’s arms, shooting, shooting curses after Bellateix. He crucioed her. No, thinking, he just does.

When people whom Harry loves / cares about are killed or harmed Harry has no thoughts just do. Give them hell. He will deal with consequences later - he is bad at the ‘dealing with the consequences bit though. He doesn’t want to be a killer, and hates himself for being capable of it.

When Snape kills Dumbledore, Harry is in SO MUCH RAGE. He goes after Snape and literally uses Sectumsempra on him, knowing what it would do- if not helped Snape literally would die lol.

But when it comes to Draco and Harry almost killing him, knowing about Dracos Dark Mark, him being suspicious all year, being horrible to him all other years - ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE.

He leaves Draco alone even after he find out Draco was going to kill Dumbledore.

In conclusion, Harry would 100% kill for Draco, no questioning it. He wouldn’t feel bad about the person being killed but about the fact that he is capable to killing.

[nuumbie]

BRIGHT STAR

Prompt: And so live—ever or else swoon to death. Dain, what does that strand of hair mean to you? Someone you must kill? Or an object of your penitence?

Author’s Note: The Road Not Taken Trailer stuck with me. Abyss Prince/Princess ! Reader. Something overtook me while writing this… I wrote this so I’ve officially have proof of writing for all three fandoms this blog writes for… but at what cost… ( my sanity )

Trigger Warnings: Depression and not being mentally good is pretty heavy handed, the idea of “missing” someone, grief and loss, just generally upsetting mental concepts. And of course. Genshin Spoilers…

Codependency, babes!

Cursed to live as an immortal. His life no longer belonged to only him. For every life which could no longer speak. He would live in their place. Until his body had decayed. Until he could no longer move. Until he had lost all vigor and passion to try.

That day would never come. Even now. He’s never lost focus from his dream.

When he meets you all he's managed to save is the sky.

The sky to the world which has taken everything from him. He wondered if his brethren would be happy to continue the shared existence of this world even after they’re gone. To care for the soil which they once lived. The same world that had taken everything from him was once his home. For every beauty, there was a sadness. He was still preserving its existence. Because. If he hadn’t there would be nothing left of him.

Yes, he was a traveler back then — directionless and without a purpose. Without meaning. A wanderer without a home to return to. Only memories.

Such different lives. Yet you met at the same road at the same time. Khaenri'a Land. He remembers the destruction, the screaming, all the lives lost while he watched helpless.

You share those memories. Why was it. That fate chose to let you both live? Was it destiny’s cruel game? That you both found yourselves in the same world with the same matching wounds.

He wonders when you changed paths?

The world moves on while you both stand there. Firmly rooted in that place and time. Perhaps, he could have stayed there forever.

He remembers— you’re the one who broke the silence. The memory grows farther and farther. But his time with you is something he’s yet to let go. He holds onto it. The memory is similar. It brings him comfort and pain. That’s why it’s meaningful.

“The Gods.” you walk next to him, you’ve already seen to found your answer as you tilt your head up towards him. You’re the first pair of eyes in a long time who’s peered into him to acknowledge his existence. To stare at him. To see him. He hasn’t communicated in awhile. He can’t remember how long. So, it’s somewhat affirming to have someone stare at him. To see him. “Are the worst.”

He stares out at the fallen rubble before meeting your gaze. There’s a burning light behind your eyes. Something that rivals the force of the sky. “They are.”

“The Gods look down at the people all the same, yet they meddle with their lives and twist them so.” you laugh. “It’s just not fair. Why is it out of my control?”

Dainsleif’s eyes catch the bodies underneath the rubble, crushed fingers grasping for things they’ll never reach. “It’s not fair. You’re right.”

“Hey, you’re traveling too, right? I know you are.” You glance over the fallen wreckage as if that’s proof enough that he’s lost. “I’m a traveler too… I’m looking for my sibling.”

He can hear the yearning in your tone. You have faith unlike him. You still have a chance.

Your voice says you believe that so firmly with all of your heart. Dainsleif glances at the gathered proof there’s nothing left for him at his feet.

“…”

“Come with me.” You finally say. “Travel with me.”

“Why?”

“I’m lonely.” Is your only reply. You don’t look at him. A life-long regret. He’ll never have gotten to known what you were thinking.“You seemed lonely, too.”

Did he?

He hadn’t noticed. He hasn’t seen his own face in a long time. At that time — it felt so simple. There wasn’t truly any deep, meaningful, reason to accept your request. He could have easily parted ways there. What difference would that have made on your journey?

But… perhaps he was lonely. For he had so far to walk. And he had nothing else to do but to live.

“500 mora.”

“Huh?” You squint your eyes somewhat baffled by how quick of a response he shoots ought. “I— that’s too cheap. Why? Is this a weekly payment or something?”

“In a way it is.” He sighs while turning his back and already beginning to walk. “500 mora every week.”

“It should around as much money needed to buy the ingredients for sticky honey roast.”

You give him the stink eye.

But you’re lonely enough to begrudgingly take the mora out into his hands. You make a point to showcase your discontent as you scrounge through your wallet. You don’t have very much money on you at all.

But you pay the fare so you both go on a journey.

People change lives. You’ve changed the impact of his.

-

Your first stop is Mondstadt. He’s buying the ingredients for tonight’s dinner. He has a bit extra change to spare. Mondstadt’s prices are cheap.

It’ll get harder to save when you reach the other nations. So, it’s better to save up now.

He realizes you’ve escaped his side a little too late. He looks around— when he isn’t looking you’re already a distance away from him. Even though you’re the one who asked him to walk this path with you. You’re always walking ahead or too far behind.

You’re staring at the Mondstadt Fountain. In hindsight. It’s a very pretty fountain. Simple but effective. But you’re staring at the water a bit too closely. He walks up from behind you and stares at his own reflection which looks back at him. You’re rather enamored by your own face.

You both do look strange in comparison to the locals. People have been giving you both odd-stares. He makes a face at the water and tries to smile.

He doesn’t look very accommodating nor welcoming at all. His smile drops rather quickly when it looks strange on his face. Unnatural.

Dainsleif is secretly glad that your eyes are always directed everywhere but him.

Glancing towards you. You don’t look at the water like it’s a reflection of yourself but someone else looking back at you.

You finally notice his staring though it’s far too late. You jump up a little — but you pretend like you weren’t so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed him sneak up on you. Like always. He doesn’t tell you he knows. You’ve fallen into a pattern like that.

“Do you have a coin?” You glance at him and try to change topics quickly while holding out your palm. “Dain.“

“Ah.” He looks at you and blinks as he realizes what’s going through your head. Though, he wonders if it’s something else. You were staring at your own face. “Oh… that is a Mondstadt Custom. Making wishes… I see. Are you curious? Then…”

He takes out the coin. The leftovers. It’s a meaningless gesture. But, you stare at him like it’s what matters most in this world. So he indulges in you.

The borough keeper does not have anything to wish for. He realizes rather quickly. He glances down at the coin in all its glory. And there is nothing in the world he can realistically get that he truly wants.

His hand grows a little shaky at that thought. Nothing to wish for. So he instead directs it towards you and drops it into the palms of your hand like it’s precious.

“You should do it, then.” His voice is impassive as usual. “You’re the one who has a wish. So, why should I?”

Somewhat dumbly you take the coin in your shaky palms as he gives it to you. “Huh? Seriously…?”

“Fine… I guess I will then…”

You think— it doesn’t take that long. The coin hits the water with a somewhat disappointing ‘thump’.

Not nearly as long. You’ve already have your mind up. You glance at the water. “I’ll have to make it come true myself in the end. I’m still going to work as hard.”

“Then, what’s the point of the wish?” Dainsleif asks.

“It’s insurance.” You sigh. “It’s comforting. You seriously have no trace of romance in your heart.”

“What did you wish for?” Dainsleif looks at the coin sunken at the bottom of the fountain. ( It will be gone when he comes back to reflect on the memories. A world which people resort to stealing wish money from wells. )

“If I say it then it won’t come true. You’re meant to keep it a secret, Dain. That’s how wishes work.”

Is that so?

He knows what you wished for. But he doesn’t say it.

Some things are better kept never never said.

-

He's growing older.

You travel to a Liyuan Village, Quingce. It's the perfect day. You’ve both arrived at perfect timing. They’re holding a small festival to celebrate the living at the time with bright lights and fireworks in the sky. Momentous and bright.

The joy they experience is vibrant. Savory smells wafting through the hair. A memory which will be long-lived in each villager’s mind. In comparison. The both of you stand out. Throughout the laughter, the joy, you both sit there in relative silence alone together. Two unhappy people painted against a happy scene.

The sky being dyed in such unnatural colors reminds him of the day the sky was bathed red. Do you see the same sky as him when you stare up at such flashing lights, too?

You're whispering. Do you expect him not to hear? The sound of the fireworks is loud. Each with a loud snapping pop. He wouldn't expect you to be paying attention to him instead of the loud bursts of flashing lights. So he assumes you’d have the same line of thought. Somehow, Dainsleif’s eyes always find his way to you.

"We don't belong in this world." Are the words that leave your mouth. He doesn't respond. You repeat it quieter. "We don't belong here."

You’re looking at the children who dance among the bright stars together. He notices a pair of children holding the other’s hand tightly.

You’re curled up in fetal position. Your knees pressed against your chest. It looks painful.

l. You stand at a ten foot distance to him.

You don’t say anything else and continue to watch the fireworks. Not once does a smile ever cross your face.

When you walk back to your hotel room your voice is weak and you’re clutching tightly to your own shirt.

“Dain.” You make conversation. “Do you think we could be happy?”

He doesn’t know.

“There’s still a long way ahead. Don’t lose hope.”

“I know I can’t.” You sigh. “I know that.”

“It’s just hard sometimes.” You look outside your fingers brushing against the glass of the window against the painted sky and the people packing up. “They don’t know a thing.”

“It’s just unfair.” You laugh. “Why can’t I live like that?”

“But that’s how it is.”

“…”

There’s a silence which lasts only a little. It seems you don’t wish to continue down this line of thought. You give.

“Guess so.” Your eyes meet his and you smile sheepishly. “I’m glad I know you. I’m not alone.”

But you are. That’s why you asked. Because you felt there was nobody who could understand.

And, perhaps, he still doesn’t know you either. No. He’s sure he doesn’t.

When you bring a topic up. It’s very likely you never bring it up again.

He doesn’t usher it out of you. The next morning you wave the children and all the adults goodbye wishing them happy lives. They’re kind and wish him and you both the very same.

They’re younger than you both yet you’ll both grow to outlive them. You’re fundamentally different. He will never be able to understand them.

Dainsleif presumes that’s the same case with the two of you as well.

-

In Inazuma you take a quick resting stop before you reach the grand island You plan on camping that night among the dangerous but beautiful land. You seem enraptured that night. You’ve gone into the slow flowing river. It seemed clear. So he hadn’t stopped you from dipping your feet.

You reach your hands towards the bright sky and the stars above.

You’re in a far off place. He wonders if he could reach you if he had actually tried.

He doesn’t bother.

Dainsleif sits there and watches your distant figure watch the stars.

He watches after you. Some days. Just bystander in your life.

You stay like that for awhile before you finally return to him. You’re holding your shoes in your hand— you drop them before awkwardly plopping yourself next to him.

“They told me if I was ever lost. All I needed to do was look up to the stars because we’d be looking up at the same sky.”

"I wonder what they'd think if they saw it. The stars are beautiful here. Even though the sky itself is the cause of all my problems. I still love the stars. This place won’t ruin it for me.”

“Dain, what do you think?”

You’re not really asking him.

“It’s nice.” He responds. “I think they’re beautiful, too.”

You rarely talk about yourself he notices. You rarely think about yourself. About this sibling he doesn’t know. About their interests and likes.

“Do you like it?” He asks gentler than he intends.

“I do. But it hurts. Does that make sense, Dain?”

“It does.” He replies and he hopes that gives you some ounce of peace.

You smile a little. He wishes it could last.

You’re someplace far away. He looks down at you and making a move for the first time he offers you his hand.

You take it and fall asleep against his shoulder.

He clings to your warmth and holds you closely thinking little of it.

When he wakes up you’re already gone.

You revert back to your normal and neither of you bring it up. But even if it’s left unspoken.

It’s already been said.

-

In Sumeru while exploring the wilderness you’ve sunken to your knees. The sight of something has caught your attention.

It's rare to see you stray from your goal.

You gaze down at the white flowers for a few seconds. Most often your eyes dance around but you keep walking forward. It's very rare that something strikes you enough to linger on. To hold still for just a moment in time.

It's rare that you let anything hold you back. Each nation. You grow a little faster. A little more distant. A little ahead.

You glance up at him wordlessly as you go to kneel to clutch the flower between your palms, it's rare that you do things just like this. Ask him to speak up on the matter and info-dump so you can understand the world better. It's the little conversation you both have.

“Dain, what is this?”

"It's a flower native to Kharenri'ah." His heart winces a little at the word. It appears that the wound has not mended itself. It won't ever. He's made peace with that. He merely wonders when he'll learn to live with that truth. "It's called the Intreyvat. It has 2-weeks before it wilts. It's aligned with elemental energy as for why it glows. Elemental Energy isn't edible nor does it taste very good for those who've tried it. So please do not eat it."

You don't respond. So he continues with other facts assuming you're not satisfied. "It's called the wanderer's flower for it's properties which--"

"I'm not going to eat it, idiot. I'm not insane to eat flowers. You're my emergency food rations." Contradiction. He thinks that cannibalism is more insane than eating flora. But, he chocks it up to either sarcasm or a testament to your oddities. It's likely the former. Your face warmed up. Embarrassed that he’d even imply it. Melanin rushing straight to your face to the tips of your ears. you whisper, hushed, as you cradle the flower delicately in your hands. Like it can hear your argument. It can't. It’s not alive in that sense. a fact he would point out. But he knows it’s not the time for that. He opts for silence as he usually does. "They just grew these back home. My actual home. Before it got destroyed."

You have a deep longing in your eyes. All-consuming devotion. "Some things remain constant through different worlds. There's likely another you somewhere on one of the many worlds that exist."

"I saw these with my sibling when I first arrived at Teyvat. The flower were the first thing we saw. A field of them." you churn out. your grip on the flower grows tighter. it's petals crush beneath your fingers at how tight you hold it. you don't seem to notice. " All things meet similar fates. So, of course these flowers were meant to fade away in this world too."

"It’s okay. These aren’t actually my homeland’s flowers. It’s not mine.” You laugh as you let go of the flower. leaving the crushed white petals lay dirtily discarded on the floor. "It was never mine. But the sight of it regardless bought me joy."

It's left in the dirt. You stand on wobbly knees. He thinks to mention it but you have enough to worry about already.

Dainsleif knows it’s better not to linger as well. So he chases after you. At some point it changed from him walking meaninglessly.

He drifts after your footsteps. Behind you.

-

You’re always changing. Slowly, bit by bit, the person he met so long ago becomes a stranger distant in his mind. The current you is just as much of a puzzle.

Time is passing. He doesn’t keep track of how many days that have gone by. Some days blur.

When you’re at Fontaine you finally let yourself break.

It would explain why you finally go mad. The process of traveling place to place without ever stopping.

It must have been draining.

His hand curls around your face as you lay at your camp. You’re both doing an odd-job for money to travel so often from place to place.

You’ve both finished killing another hilichurl camp which stood in the way. Wiping the splattered blood from your cheek. Too little distance but you don’t seem to mind how close he is. “Is it yours or theirs?”

You don’t answer. Which does nothing to ease his worries. He goes to wipe the rest of the blood to see if you have any injuries. This isn’t like either of you. To dote on another like this. These moments are sparse few and far between in your own words until you’re at a certain breaking point — nothing more than travel companions until you need someone to catch you before you fall. That’s why you called for him.

Because you were alone. Because he was alone.

It’s transactional.

It should be, anyway. You tremble and bite your lip hard enough that it bleeds. What you have feels heavier than that.

“I don’t want to ever kill another hilichurl again.”

Ah.

“We’ll never have to kill another one again.” He tries to soothe you. “We can stop taking requests like this.”

It must be bad. You’re holding still. Barely reacting to the feather-light touch. He squeezes your face.

You react at that. Your eyes narrowing ever so slightly. He lets go once he sees that’s enough to rouse you out of your own head.

“We should take a break.” He finally says. “We haven’t had one in awhile-“

“I don’t want to stop.” You reply back. “It gets worse when we stop.”

You‘ve been tired for a long time.

Wiping the rest of the blood on his cape. He doesn’t struggle. But that doesn’t mean he’s entirely indifferent to the process. But he never struggles against you. So he doesn’t even budge. He just looks at you with that prey animal stare reserved for only you. “Ah.”

“My cape.” He holds the tassel and flops it around. As subdued and subpar as it is. “Isn’t a napkin.”

“We’re both dirty, now.” That brings an odd joy he’ll have to worry about later because those words are not happy. They’re sad. You should both be clean. But, there’s a certain joy to sharing your lows. You ramble as you use it to wipe your tears away as well. “Now we both need showers and…”

“…”

“Dain.” You ask quietly. “Why do you stay with me?”

Oh.

You’re not yourself. You’ll regret this conversation and feel nothing but regret about it later. He comforts you now and answers regardless because he would regret leaving you unanswered now even more.

“I care about you even if it doesn’t seem that way at times.”

You stare at him like his words are hard to believe. Your mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. Is it so hard to believe he cares after you’ve spent so long together? He can see the thoughts racing behind your eyes. But, what you settle on is— “You’re so stupid.”

You don’t seem entirely unhappy with his answer despite the words that you say considering you’re laughing. It’s an oddly sad laugh. A laugh which threatens on a sob.

He tries to ignore the pink color that rises to his cheeks.

“So stupid.” You cry a little harder and hug him. He caresses you and lets you cry into his chest.

He knows you wish someone else could hold you.

It isn’t the same nor will it ever live up to the real thing. But you always pretend.

-

You both never kill a Hilichurl again.

He does his best to avoid them on the roads. Whenever you see one a deep sadness falls over you. So he does his best to stifle that grief and ease that burden by avoiding every chance he has.

You haven’t asked as much questions lately since arriving at Natlan. You’ve quit speaking entirely at some points in time. Some days he wonders if you’ve forgotten to speak at all.

The light behind your eyes is a distant memory.

“Dain?”

“Why do you travel at all?”

He stares at you through a mouthful of mushroom-chicken skewers that he’s cooked. They’re burnt. He’s not very good of a cook.

You’ve never asked before. You’ve asked all sorts of questions. But never that.

“It was sort of implied at the fountain that you didn’t know… I remembered and got curious… so I asked.l

“Did you figure it out, Dain?”

…

Maybe he did.

He thinks about keeping it to himself. Holding on to that answer just this once. You’ve done the same to him.

But maybe it’s something worth saying.

No, maybe it’s something…

He just wants to admit. To say out loud. Just once.

Even though he knows you know.

“I want to see your journey to its end.”

You instantaneously groan like he’s said something embarrassing.

“I’d thought you’d answer that.” You pout with crossed arms. “When did you grow so obsessed with me?”

He doesn’t know himself. He doesn’t know why or how. He doesn’t know if he should.

“You should live for yourself.” Hypocrite. “Beyond Khaenri'ah and beyond me.”

Dainsleif sighs and…

He continues letting his judgement not get the better of him.

“I really like you.”

Time stops.

He’s a little surprised the words actually came out of his mouth. But they did.

He can’t take it back now that it’s been said. That’s how it works.

“Huh?”

He could pretend that his words had a different meaning. He could create some lie. And you would just eat it up.

But he chooses not to. Why is that?

“I like you. That’s why I wish to see it through with you. I wish to see you happy. Typically. You wish to be with the people you like happy.” He repeats. Louder. So you can’t misinterpret it or pretend you’ve heard him wrong, He chews on the mushroom skewer. Feeling his face heat up. Some days. He wished his mask covered the entirety of his face. It feels like he’s gone as crimson as the moon.

He feigns how okay he is with these words leaving his mouth. Pretends like he isn’t pouring a deep part of himself out to you. “Don’t mind where. I just wish to be by your side.”

“You’ve been my reason for awhile now.“

And he continues. A little too much. He realizes. He stops and looks at you to use as measure for how much he’s talked.

Quite a lot. You stare at him in abject horror.

“I— don’t repeat it!” You yell and look around like somebody can hear you both. There’s nobody for miles. In the end. It’s always you both alone. “What’s gotten into you?”

“You asked.” Dainsleif points out and bites down on the shame. “I answered.”

“..-!?”

“It wouldn’t work.” You stumble. “You and me—“

“It doesn’t have to be as lovers. My… current goal… the… reason I’m traveling with you… what I want most is just… to see you be okay.“

“Your terminology was confusing! It’s not my fault—“

“But if you want to entertain the idea… of… us being partners and such. I wouldn’t mind traveling with you. To see other worlds. If you could bring me.” He can’t bear to look at you. “Though, I have a task as a Borough Keeper… I…”

“You wish for me to live for myself. Is that not proof I am? Willing to find a reason to live past that role?”

“T-Travel with me…” the room grows hotter. “Wait, that’s not the point!”

“It still doesn’t work!” You yelp. “Just…”

“…”

“Maybe at the end of the road when I reunite with my...” You mumble. “I… no…”

“No… I don’t think… you… we should.”

…

“We shouldn’t.”

You don’t explain why.

Dainsleif flushes… and looks away. Understanding. He tries to be understanding.

Even if he’s not very good at it. Understanding other people. He tries to emphasize and nods his head.

“I understand… I told you. I just… wish for your happiness.”

“You shouldn’t.“

…

And you don’t elaborate. You never really do.

He doesn’t understand how bad it gets until it’s too late.

-

Because you were right.

Thinking about it now, it was an omen, a warning more than anything. You likely should have thrown him loose a long time ago.

Did you not think about that? Or was it now when everything’s finally proved that this was where your path must lead? Were you hoping that there was another option?

Was this your last choice?

Well, it’s already history. You must have known that. That’s why you were so insistent on it. To limit the heart-ache. The tragedy. If you held on even tighter. Then the pain of separation would hurt even more.

You should have never offered your hand to him at all then. But it was this journey it was knowing which made you into this, wasn’t it?

He was there to witness your unraveling. And he didn’t do a thing to stop it. He allowed it.

The sword has pierced through his stomach and severed through. He’ll survive. That’s what he was cursed to do. To eternally live and grieve until there was nothing left to lose. You know that. You aren’t actually trying to kill him. You’re sparing him and leaving him to live with this loss. And that’s even more painful.

There’s no light in your eyes. You’ve chosen the road ahead. It’s a road you cannot travel back from. You will destroy everything. And you will repeat the endless cycle of bloodshed. And then you will most likely die against the weight of the heavenly principles.

This is the second time his reason for living was entirely stolen. How fun. How grand. How sick. But he should have known, too. Even if you’re immortal as well—

The things he loved were bound to get torn from him. His life will forever be a game of give and take.

“There’s nothing else.” You glance out into the darkness. “For me to see. I’ve seen it all. And it’s driven me mad.”

“I understand now. You don’t have to follow me anymore. You’ve done your job of seeing me through to the end. And I thank you for that. You’ve been a good guide. I’ve cherished this time together.”

Like this isn’t it. As if you aren’t severing your paths entirely. You dig the sword deeply into his stomach like you’re cutting whatever has connected you both all this time to each other.

But it did matter. Everything mattered. It mattered so much to the point where you’ve come down to this. He holds the sword and tries to push it out.

You’ve detached. When was it when you pulled yourself away from him entirely? He never noticed the gap between you had grown as deep as the abyss.

“Dain.”

“You’re not joining me are you?”

“I’m not.” He responds from the floor. He chokes on his own blood. It isn’t the first. Nor will it be the last time. He can see his future from here. Because life refuses to let him live languid life. He could never agree with the tragedy you intend to cause. The world you wish to ruin— still belongs to him. “You’re right. I can’t agree. I could never agree.”

And more than that, you’re likening yourself to a monster. This path. Paved in blood. If you walk it you will be no better than them. You’re making a mistake. You’re so much more than this. And he knows. Because he was there for you for so long.

“If this is the path you plan to take. I will oppose for eternity.” He spits.

For some reason that gets you to share with him a rare smile.

The way you smile at him then still haunts his dreams.

“I knew you could do it.”

It is your hands which he trusted so which push him and led to his fall. The hands which he had done his best to have lovingly hold. It is his first betrayal.

And yet he still tries to have faith.

Your paths diverge…

But regardless of that.

You’re not out of reach.

He can still save you he thinks with grasping hands.

Is this how you’ve felt all this time? With a flickering inch of hope? Given so little yet still believing in that faint chance of reunion?

He’ll force your paths back together himself.

-

Mondstadt.

He’s begun to try to count the time.

He just measures it against the day which took everything.

500 years.

He's come here before. The bar called Dawn Winery’s-- it's peaceful in comparison to the other worlds. Though so dreadfully close to Celestia. You’re close. He knows you are. Thus why he’s here to begin with.

The bartender has changed again since he was last here. He’s witnessed many faces since that time so long ago. He almost got mistaken. It seems it’s the previous incarnation’s son? He wears his father's skin, has his bright crimson hair, the only thing lacking is the life in his eyes. He must not be have taken the loss well.

Dainsleif's taste buds have faded with time. But the wine goes down as easily as he remembers. He relies on his sight to enjoy it. It’s changed over the years. The bottle itself. The liquid’s color isn’t as he remembers and it never is the same—

Footsteps.

A familiar voice.

He can feel time pause.

“Hi… I’m an adventurer from the adventure’s guild!”

He doesn’t respond.

The voice is insistent despite him clearly ignoring them.

“How do you do… I’m an honorary member of the Knights of Favonius!”

If he turns around, if he wants so deeply, then it feels as if it’ll be even farther. If the very act of wanting will make it so Celestia tears it away from him.

But the voice continues. A different one. There’s another. There’s two?

“Wow… he has no intention of paying us any mind.”

“So… uh… I’m a traveler.”

Two people, one pair of footsteps. This isn’t an ordinary person.

…

Dainsleif doesn’t look back but he repeats a question. A question from a long time ago.

“A traveler you say. Why do you travel?”

He can feel the awkward smile tugging on the other party’s lips. There’s a light. Unending. Unendurable.

“Well… looking for my lost relative… could it be possible that you’ve seen them?”

[formulapookie]

💛💛

Under the cut to read on Tumblr, here to read on Ao3 ch1; ch2; ch3; ch4

Les fleurs du mal ch.5 rosquez, 2.1k words

It’s nine in the morning of a beautiful Sunday, he finally got all the truth Uccio for God knows what reason had chosen to change, corrupt, modify for him to see a distorted version of reality.

The telemetry, that shit was just made up, by a jealous? angry? Uccio, who chose to ruin the one good relationship in forever like that, like it had just been a flash, instead of the sun in his life.

He wanted to call Marc, hell no drive until Cervera and say he was sorry, that he had been an asshole, a terrible person, but to please forgive him because he had been shielded from the reality and couldn’t see.

That now tho he sees the love Marc always reserved for him, he sees how much Marc is willing to sacrifice for them, for the love they share.

There’s a voice note in his notifications, along with two missed calls, from Marc.

And a text from Lorenzo.

“Vale?”

“Mh?”

They’re laying in bed, at Vale’s house, softly surrounded by pearly colored sheets, the sound of the town filling the outside world.

“Do you ever think about like, the future?”

“In general or us?”

“Both”

“Well of course amore, I think of my racing career and more titles and of the time when I’ll inevitably have to retire.

And I think about us, free from the media attention, in a beautiful house near the see.

No neighbours, just us, and you are sunbathing naked next our pool and then I-“

Marc blushes, hiding his face more in the crook of Vale’s neck

“What amore? It wouldn’t be the first time I see you naked eh. I think I saw you pretty clearly last night”

“Vale! This was supposed to be romantic!”

“Is it not romantic? Making love to you in a house we share?”

“I - yeah it is”

“See? And you? You think about the future?”

“Yeah. I see us in a house in the middle of the countryside tho, with animals.

Dogs, a lot of dogs, and your strange red cat too”

“Rossano is not strange!”

“He looks at me funny whenever I’m here.

But anyway, a cute house in the countryside, just the two of us, it’s peaceful”

“But? I feel like there’s a but”

“But I also think about the sport and the danger and - Vale are you scared of death? I am terrified by it. It’s just - one day you just cease to be and I cannot think the universe is so cruel to do this”

“Amore, of course i’m scared of it, and it. In our sport it can happen. It took me years to get over the fact Marco was gone. But life ends in death no matter what we do, we have to live it at our fullest still”

“Im scared thought, I don’t like the idea of it. It’s cold you think? When you”

“I don’t know. It could be. Or it could be warm like drifting asleep with a blanket on and just - sleep”

For Marc it’s cold when he dies.

Freezing even, and so so lonely.

When Roser finds him, curled beside his bed, clutching in his arms the helmet signed by that man, it’s like being shot in the heart.

She tries to wake him, tries to call him, but he’s cold.

Unmoving.

Still like the moment she finds herself in.

Marc is holding onto that one piece of his heart like he’s still alive, the strong grip seemingly coming from a strong person.

But when she looks at him all she can see is her little boy, her son.

Pale and tired and sad.

He looks like he’s having a bad dream, the unsettling kind of dreams where you don’t precisely know where you are and can’t get out.

There’s petals on the ground.

Yellow. 

So much yellow and she just wants to burn it all away.

She cries more, calling for Marc again, trying to get him back.

But Marc can’t hear her, the only sounds in the room are Roser’s sobs and the repetitive buzz of Marc’s phone.

When Marc wakes up in the middle

of the night he’s cold, shivering.

The fever is taking over, he’s hallucinating again.

He reaches out for Vale, why is he not in bed? 

Oh right, he’s still not back yet.

But it doesn’t matter.

Because they have time.

The scratch in the back of his throat seems to be less excruciating too, like it’s being kept at bay.

Well this just means Vale is close right? 

He’s coming, finally he’s coming home to tell him he still loves him, and - and the roots will go away the same way they arrived.

“Oh I need to set the room up, Vale has to see my collection has improved, yes, he needs to see it”

Marc unpacks the two boxes Roser had stuffed full, carefully taking out the items in them.

The cap and the picture first, he places them on the shelf next to his bed, close, so close the cap covers half the picture, the half where Marc is.

Then it’s the bikes turn.

Slowly, methodically, precisely, Marc takes them out the box one by one, placing them in the same exact order he had bought them.

He sees Alex in his room, he’s not happy.

“Marc come on stop you look ridiculous”

“Ah Alex stop it, you’ve just never been in love, when you’ll be you’ll get it”

He’s standing on his bed, mattress dipping under his rapidly decreasing weight.

“You see, Vale is coming and the room has to be nice for him, I want it to be more beautiful than ever, he deserves the best”

Marc is smiling, like a kid on his birthday, waiting to blow the candles.

“Oh he’ll want the 2004 Yamaha to be the most visible for sure, he loves that bike God how he loves it”

He keeps talking to a non existing Alex, while he feels colder and colder.

“I better put on a hoodie, don’t want to catch a cold before Vale arrives for sure”

He goes pick up the one hoodie Vale left there, in his home.

It still smells like him.

He sits on the bed, legs crossed with his phone beside him, facing the door.

He stays there for minutes, maybe an hour even.

There’s no sudden buzzing of the phone, no sound of a car parking outside, no knocking on the door signaling Vale is there.

Well not yet, maybe he just doesn’t like to travel with the dark.

Yeah it - it must be that.

Because it’s either that or.

Or Vale isn’t coming.

Not now, not in a million years he’s gonna spend tidying up his room to welcome Vale back in it.

When the fever lets go of him and he sees clearly again it hurts.

Physically, mentally, emotionally it all hurts like it’s been crushed by tons and tons of rocks thrown on top of him.

Hot big tears fall from his eyes, follow the now slim outline of his cheekbones, and collect under Marc’s chin.

“He is coming. He is coming. I know he’s coming”

He tries to convince himself of this, even with the hallucination gone, he gets up and sets up the room.

It has to look exactly like it did when Vale came here last time, little bikes in their precise fragile order.

The last thing he takes out the boxes is the helmet.

Signed, a little note left for him by Vale, unmistakable messy handwriting on the clean visor.

He takes his phone, it’s stupid, childish but he can’t do otherwise.

He calls him.

Twenty, twenty five seconds of his phone ringing. No answer.

He tries again. And once again there’s no answer on the other side.

He opens their chat, it’s still on hold since the last text Vale sent.

“Good luck for the race babychamp”

He presses the button to send the voice note, the first few seconds just of silence.

“Vale. It’s me. I - please Vale it hurts so much, I can’t breathe I need you to come here quick I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry for what I did, all of it, I’m sorry I didn’t want you to lose, I didn’t want to do anything against you. I never - I never went to him, I would never cheat on you, I only ever had you please believe me Vale. Vale I love you. I’m home and, and it hurts so much. Please I need to see you. Please. I need to feel your hugs again. I’m cold Vale so cold”

The voice note sends, but there’s no blue ticks to signal it’s been read.

Marc climbs off the bed, his phone beside him, holding the helmet between his arms like it’s the most prized possession of his, he fears it may scratch, or get ruined if he accidentally bumps into the shelf he usually laid it on.

All his words now barely a whisper, he’s trying to stay anchored to reality by clutching at that damn helmet, it’s almost sunrise, almost sunrise and there’s no sign of Vale.

He abandoned him.

Vale abandoned him.

He truly hates him, he truly wants Marc to not represent a menace at all.

That’s fine. Vale will be fine without him too, he was fine before meeting him, there’s no need for Marc to exist in Vale’s life.

Maybe he’s gonna be a weight less, he will just go away, like he came in.

A breeze.

Marc can feel himself getting colder, and the petals in his throat now make it impossible to breathe.

He vomits them rather than coughing, a sea of yellow hollowness making its way out of his body, the everlasting presence of Valentino beside him even right now.

“you promised it was going to be warm like falling asleep with a blanket, but it’s cold, it’s so cold”

He’s still waiting there, looking at the door like a dog waiting for his owner does.

Argo had waited for Ulysses for years before he came back, and had died right in his arms.

But Marc knows his Ulysses won’t arrive, not even to hold him as he leaves behind the ugly and hurt of the mortal world.

He’s an abandoned dog. Even if he was loyal. He’s been abandoned.

He cries on the helmet, the last tears he can still produce, before his life abandons him too, the last breath used to hope, to call Vale’s name.

When Roser finally looks at the ID of the caller on her son’s phone she is angry.

She wants to smash that phone against a wall, make it shut up once and for all.

“Vale💛💙” identifies the person calling, the rage she feels is unexplainable through words.

She doesn’t answer. He doesn’t deserve to know from her what happened to her sweet boy, he will forever live with the guilt of having killed him. 

She only manages to call Alex and their father two hours later. 

She tells them to come there, that Marc has gone to sleep the night but hasn’t woken up now.

When Alex barges in he’s red in the face, crying and cursing.

He runs to the room they used to share, and sees how Marc has set it up once again, memories of Vale on all the shelves.

He also sees the many yellow petals littering the ground of the bedroom, a dark feeling taking residence in his chest.

“Marc? Marc it’s me, it’s Alex, I know you can hear me, you’re just sleeping, but you have to wake up, mom is getting worried. You need to wake up Marc please, I don’t know what to do without you”

“Alex he’s not-“

“HE’S ALIVE HE’S JUST - he’s just making a joke mom he - he can’t be dead mom he can’t be”

“Alex come here”

“No. No he - it’s not right. It’s not right he shouldn’t be, it shouldn’t end like this, he promised me we would’ve been together on the podium one day, he promised”

Roser has to drag Alex away from Marc, he doesn’t want to let go, he wants to save him.

“Alex. Look at me. You have to think of what Marc wanted ok?”

“Marc wanted to live! He wanted to race and win and - he wanted so many things! He’s scared of death, terrified of being alone! AND HE WAS ALONE!”

“But he wanted you to live too, he wanted you to be there on track, to be here with us. Please don’t - don’t make me lose you too Alex”

“No no i’m not going anywhere mom I promise. I’m not going away, sorry sorry sorry mom I’m staying here”

“Can you? I can’t call anyone to tell”

“Yeah yeah i I’ll uh ill call people”

“Be kind with yourself, as kind as your brother was with you ok?”

“Ok”

They think about removing everything from the room.

Putting it back in boxes.

But Marc’s last wish was probably for the room to be like this, and they couldn’t go against his wish.

[unformula1]

in that kind of way (ft. AA23, LS2, OP81 & LN4)

in that kind of way (ft. AA23, LS2, OP81 & LN4)

valentines day series - valentines’ day countdown: D-DAY!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

synopsis: you talk to a bunch of people about your single-ness.

You sit next to Logan in his driver's room. It’s been a few minutes since you self-invited yourself into his room and laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairing: -

featured: alex albon (740 words), logan sargeant (531 words), oscar piastri (468 words) & lando norris (630 words)

word count: 2369 (wow that's long)

a/n: no relationships in here just buncha amazing friends!! also ft. my 4 fav drivers vroom vroom. if yall want a part 2 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi!” He says with a smile, even though you know it’s 8pm and he is on the verge of just falling on the ground and sleeping.

“Alex!” You cheer and invite him in, letting him sit on the couch.

He takes a seat and leans back, but keeping his posture well like a gentleman would. He’s such a gentleman. You sit down next to him throwing your feet onto the couch and crossing your legs, turning to face Alex while hugging a pillow.

“You know what day is coming up?” You ask him.

Alex thinks for a while, “Don’t… know.”

“Valentines Day.” You say.

“Oh! Yea.” He replies, “What about it? You got someone this year?”

“Haha.” You deadpan, “That’s the problem.”

“You… don’t have someone?” Alex connects the dots.

“Mhm, and I know you don’t relate but being this single is painfully tiring.” You tell him, letting out a loud groan as you say it.

“It is?” Alex asks.

“Yes. Very much so.” You tell him, putting on a sarcastic smile.

“Well I don’t think there’s much I can do to help-”

You interject, “I’m just gonna vent, so-” You do some weird motions with your hands, “If you wanna leave do it now.”

He purses his lips and nods, “Go ahead.”

“This is why I chose you!” You let out a thankful sounding sigh.

You take a deep breath, “Seeing couples out on the street being such adorable lovebirds and having the most perfect romance is going to send me jumping off a cliff one day; I am resisting the strong urge to throw rocks at them when I see them.”

“Wait- You’ve thought about throwing rocks at couples?” Alex asks, his face looking slightly shocked.

You nod in response.

“Couples like me and Lily?”

“Oh- No…no…” You shake your head and hold up your hands, “Not you two, you two are the exception.”

Alex chuckles and nods his head, “Okay.”

“Anyways! It’s starting to get to my head because what if I stay single for life and I’m stuck being this sad and lonely person who just takes care of cats all the time!”

“Sounds like a pretty good life.” Alex comments, shrugging as he does so.

“Okay- it kinda does but my point is I don’t want to be single for life!”

“You’re not going to be single for life.” Alex assures, patting your shoulder.

“How would you know?” You shove a finger into his chest.

He grabs ahold of your hand, patting it and reassuring you, “Because you’re an amazing person and there is 100% someone out there for you, you just haven’t found them yet.”

“Mhm and what if there isn’t anyone for me and I’m just destined to be single?” You question, throwing yourself into the backrest of the couch, hugging a pillow a bit too tightly.

“Highly doubt that.” Alex says.

You shove your head into a pillow and scream before looking back up.

“There’s definitely one person out there for you.” Alex says, patting your shoulder.

You pout, “Definitely?”

“Mhm.” 

“Doubt that!” You say kicking your feet out.

“I think you deserve someone so perfect and someone that is absolutely gorgeous. Trust me. You deserve the world from your perfect love. Just wait.”

A slight smile forms on your face.

“Thanks Alex.”

He pats your shoulder and pulls you in for a tight hug. You hug him back. 

“This usually ends up with me in tears but I guess not this time.” You say while hugging him.

“Oh really? Who have you been consulting?” He asks you.

“Logan.”

“I would think Logan would be pretty good at this?” Alex asks

“Yes. He is, the tears are happy.”

“So you’re calling me… bad at listening.” 

“No! Stop twisting my words, you’re good in your own way!”

He lets out a gasp and you playfully punch his shoulder.

Maybe you were destined to be single, you would never know. You probably might take a while to find someone but at least you had people to make it less tortuous.

You think Alex is pretty cute.

Not in an 'i love you' kind of way.

But in the way which would let you could cling onto him forever

In a way which would make you feel like you could sit by him forever and nothing would change about your friendship with him.

Like a stuffed animal kind of way.

In that kind of way.

--------------------------------------------------------------

You sit next to Logan in his driver's room. It’s been a few minutes since you self-invited yourself into his room and laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling. You laid out on the floor, like a starfish and stared into the white ceiling. Logan sat on the cushioned bench with his hands on his lap. He tapped his foot while you laid there, motionless.

“Are you alive?” Logan asked.

You replied with a noise you didn’t know you were capable of making.

“I’m so lonely, UGH.” You kicked up your feet and punched the ground.

“Don’t do that. You might hurt yourself.” Logan says, shifting himself to sit on the floor next to you.

You lazily roll over to get closer to where Logan was sitting. 

A smile forms on your face as you chuckle, “You’re too nice.”

He smiles too, and his smile is like a cat, “Thanks.”

You cover your face with your hands and let out a loud groan before rubbing the temples of your forehead.

“This is too much for me to handle. I’m running on hopes and prayers.” You complain again, slamming your fist into the floor and kicking your feet up and down like a child.

“I’m serious, stop doing that or I’ll tie your hands to your body.” Logan says, sounding dead serious.

You let out a laugh, “Too nice, as usual.”

“What would you suggest I do?... For this Valentine’s Day?” You ask him, turning your head finally to look at him.

“What would you usually do?” 

“Throw rocks at couples or cry in bed.” You deadpan.

Logan covers his mouth to hold back a laugh.

“Rude-” You feign offence as you sit up.

“Sorry. That’s just pretty funny.” 

“My suffering is funny.” You nonchalantly reply.

“No! 100% not!” Logan quickly responded.

“Okay! Then what should I do?” 

“Go out with friends?” Logan suggests.

“Friends?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Yea, sometimes friends mean a lot too. They can be super helpful when it comes to managing your feelings, you know?” Logan does those weird hand motions with his hand as he speaks.

“Mhm.”

“Like for me, personally, I would rather have an amazing and sweet little friendship than a million romantic loves.” He shrugs.

You make an unintelligible noise; it sounds like a laugh but you would never laugh at Logan…ever.

“Seriously!” Logan says, a chuckle escaping, “Sometimes friends can be so great!”

“Friends like you.” You say, cheekily smiling.

“Awww, you’re too sweet.” Logan says, touching his heart.

“You’re really sweet. Like a little cat.” You smile and point to him.

“I would say Oscar’s more of a cat, but that’s cool.” Logan replies.

“Fair.”

Logan had a pretty great point, your friends meant a lot to you and they were one hell of a group of people to be around, you wouldn’t trade them for the world, like ever. 

Logan made your heart warm.

Not in the way which would make you fall in love with him.

In a way which would let you feel at home with him, wherever, whenever.

In a way which you knew he would always be there for you.

In that kind of way.

-------------------------------------------------

You see Oscar sitting down on a chair, scrolling through his phone and tapping his feet, humming a simple melody. He looks like he’s in a peaceful state, which means you have to disrupt it, of course.

“I don’t understand how you do it.” You say, sliding into the chair opposite him.

“Do what?” Oscar raises an eyebrow, placing down his phone and looking at you.

“Get laid.” You were pretty straightforward.

“Woah.” Oscar said, raising his hands up, “Slow down there.”

“I’m being genuine. How does it even work?” Your hands support your chin as you lean closer to Oscar.

“Be nice?” Oscar says, “Don’t be a dick.”

“So… not my thing then?”

“Well you’ll find someone that suits you.” Oscar shrugs.

“You sure???” You lean closer into Oscar, who doesn’t bother shifting away from you. 

“Yes. Very sure.” He says, unfazed by your unpredictable next action as you scan his face, looking him up and down.

You fall back into your chair, “Right.”

“And if it all fails, you still have your friends.” He adds.

“Friends.” You chuckle.

“Excuse me?” Oscar says, faking an offended look.

“What friends?” You laugh harder at your own joke.

“Excuse me? What am I? A roach??” Oscar says, doing a fake eye roll while he’s at it.

“You’re more like a dad!” You compliment, or at least you think you compliment.

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?” Oscar asks you.

“Yes. Did it sound rude?” 

“Kinda.”

“Well rest assured, it’s a compliment. I’m calling you wise.”

“And old.”

“Pick your poison.” You scoff, leaning back, almost falling off.

Your chair tilting back a bit too much causes your life to flash before your eyes as you let out a shriek, pulling the chair back. This sends Oscar into laughs and giggles. 

“What a douchebag. Laughing at me almost dying.” You give him a dissatisfied look.

“You’re like Lando. A small child.” Oscar remarks.

“I agree with both of your points.”

Before Oscar can say anything his phone rings and it’s Lily. He looks at the contact name then back up at you.

“You should pick that up, I’ll b on my way!” You point to his phone, which is still ringing and vibrating.

“I’ll see you around.” He says, picking up the phone.

You swiftly get up, wave goodbye to Oscar and run off.

Oscar’s pretty sweet. You like that. He’s someone you can always talk to and you love that.

He’s not sweet like a way which would make you want to be his Valentine’s.

But in the kind of way which you would probably be fine with him seeing you cry.

In the kind of way you wouldn’t hesitate calling him at 3am if he needed you, or if you needed him

In that kind of way.

----------------------------------------------------------

“LANDO!” You shout from the level above him.

He spins his head in different directions before finding you and giving you a big wave. He then gestures for you to come down and join him. 

“COMING!” You shout before sprinting for the stairs.

You run down the stairs and toward Lando. You pick up speed as you close in on Lando.

“Wait no I’m not read-” Lando tries to warn you but it’s too late.

You lunge yourself at him and crash into him, he fails to catch you and falls backward. You land on top of Lando, both of you laughing.

“Jeez. One way to say hi.” Lando smirks.

You get off Lando and help him up. He gets back on his two feet and does a weird back cracking thing.

“Old.” You say which gets you a gasp and a shocked look from Lando.

“Well now we’re not friends anymore.” He says and does a sassy little hair flip. 

“So be it!” You say back.

“Kiss me already.” He says, raising his eyebrow and scoffs.

“At least take me out to dinner first.” You reply, leaning on one leg and returning him the raised eyebrow.

“Can’t do that if you don’t confess first.” Lando says back.

“Touche.” You pout your lips and pat his shoulder.

“So, what brings you around?” Lando says, smouldering slightly before posing as if there’s a camera somewhere, “A perfect man like me?”

“Out of all the people I’ve approached, you’re the furthest from perfect.”

“Lies. Slander.” He shakes his head and punches your shoulder.

“Are you sad you don’t have a valentine this year?” You ask him.

“I have the car.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“Does count.”

“Does not.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“I disagree.”

“Well I disagree with your disagreement.”

Lando lets out a hmph before crossing his arms and looking away from you.

“If you’re lonely you can just say so… I am too.” You tell him, giving him a little bit of sass.

“I have plenty of choices.”

“Like?”

“Don’t question me.”

You chuckle and pull Lando in for a hug. You don’t know why, it just came over you in the moment and it felt necessary. Lando mattered a lot to you.

“Okay. So if you’re lonely, I have evidence now.” Lando insults but he still hugs you back, and even tighter than your hug. 

You almost struggle to breathe at one point before he releases your hug.

You dramatically pant and take deep breaths, to which Lando gives you a glare.

“Even if your love language is physical touch, that was both too physical and too touchy.” You say in between over dramatised breaths.

“Can’t help it. You’re too huggable.” Lando shrugs and looks at with innocent eyes, like a child.

“Right… Go unleash your hugging energy on Oscar or something.” 

“You dislike my hugs?” Lando’s jaw drops.

“No- Did not say that.” You cross your arms.

“YES YOU DID!” Lando says, giving you that look as if he’s about to break out in tears.

“DID NOT.” You argue back.

“Prove it!” He says, crossing his arms and pouting at you.

“Or what?” You taunt.

“I’ll cry.” Lando says, looking at you like a child who just got told ‘no’ to ice cream.

“No you won’t.”

“Yes I will.”

“Won’t.”

He looks at you with those large doe eyes. 

He’s not actually going to cry right?

Right?

“Asshole.” You say before hugging him. 

He smiles and lets out a little cheer before hugging you back and squeezing you tighter.

You love Lando.

Not in a romantic way.

In a way where you would probably jump in front of a bullet for him.

In a way where you wouldn’t be afraid to hug him in public

In that kind of way.

[venture-through-the-mist]

Thoughts on The Lotus Eaters

As I’m sure is obvious, this will be discussing the Lotus Eaters quest in detail, so if you haven’t played it yet, I’d suggest skipping this post! I don’t want to spoil it for anyone (because even though it’s a short quest, I still think it benefits from being played with no prior knowledge of what it entails), so the full post will be below the cut.

Alright, I have SO many thoughts, so I’m going to try and keep this somewhat concise…ish. This is mostly just a bunch of rambles, so I apologize for any grammatical errors or if it’s hard to understand. I just kinda…wrote what came to my mind.

First off,

The Music: I briefly mentioned this in another post, but holy shit the music for this update is amazing. I mean, we all knew it would be, Warframe has a tendency to put out absolutely awesome songs, but oh my god. We get two more versions of what is one of my favorite songs in the game. The loading screen version of ‘This is What You Are’ has to be, by far, one of my favorite things I’ve heard from this game. I love the feel to it, like a combination of ‘old’ Warframe with ‘new’, 1999-era Warframe. I’ve had it playing on repeat almost all day because it’s so good.

Now, for the version of ‘This is What You Are’ that we actually get during the quest, the one that Lotus is singing to herself. I, admittedly, didn’t pay too much attention to it when I was actually playing the quest, at least not beyond “omg Lotus is singing, that’s awesome” (I was just too excited about the actual quest lol). However, when I listened to it again, I was fascinated by the subtle differences in how this version sounds compared to the ‘normal’ version of the song, or even to the new version in the loading screen. The singing is a lot more staccato, and the notes don’t flow into each other in the ways they normally would. It’s almost as if Lotus is having to concentrate more on what comes next (at least, that’s my interpretation), which makes sense given that we know that she’s singing in order to drown out the Indifference’s voice. Her singing also sounds a little sad, or maybe just lonely, to me. Her mind is filled with the Indifference trying to influence her, and she’s taken it upon herself to be a barrier (or as she says it, a “distraction”) between It and the Tenno. She’s secluded herself (again), and her tone of voice seems to reflect that.

Also, after the quest, if you go and talk to Daughter/Kaelli in the Necralisk, ‘Party of Your Lifetime’ plays now, instead of whatever song was playing before. I just think that’s neat (and also brings in some interesting ideas for 1999…what did our Drifter do?).

Moving on…

The Story: I had absolutely zero idea where the story was going to go from this update, but I was a bit worried about how they’d go about locking us into playing as the Drifter for 1999, since — although I 1000% agree with why the Drifter is definitely going to be the one going back in time — I’m definitely someone who would rather play as my Operator for my own lore reasons (and I can’t think of a reason that my Operator would let the Drifter do this instead of her). I was actually wondering if they’d actually lock us into the Drifter without giving us a choice, or if they just wouldn’t give us the option to do the romance stuff if we chose Operator (for obvious reasons…bc yk, they’re a child). But, I really enjoy the route they went down, how Lotus knows that the Drifter has to be the one this time, because if the Operator does, that might just be giving the Indifference exactly what it wants. She’s, once again, protecting her kids in the way she knows how, by taking them out of the conflict in any way she can.

But, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, so let’s backtrack a bit and talk about how cool it is that we see the Operator and the Drifter interacting with Lotus at the same time. I may have missed something in the quests leading up to that, or this might just be something attributed to the Man in the Wall’s hijinks, or…something, but I thought that they couldn’t be in the same place at the same time/in the same ‘reality’. So, I was quite surprised (pleasantly, ofc) to see both of them. I really love the difference in the dialogue options when we initially talk to Lotus. The Operator is torn between wondering if Lotus is alright, and also being super worried about what the hell the noise is, in a way that makes me think they definitely suspect that the Indifference is meddling with things again (which makes sense, given that they’re actively in the Sanctum). Honestly, the Operator was probably waiting for something like this to happen. They know, or at least suspect, that Lotus saw the Man in the Wall after the battle with Ballas, it was only a matter of time before that became important. The Drifter, on the other hand, is more concerned with Lotus herself, warning her to be careful, reassuring her, but also wondering what she means by “It’s you”. Maybe the Drifter doesn’t really know the extent of the effects that the Indifference has on the System, maybe the Operator is just trying to protect Lotus in the only way they know how…get the perceived danger away from her first, ask questions later (I’ve noticed from their dialogue throughout the game that the Operator tends to have a bit of a sharper temper than the Drifter does…perhaps bc they’re younger). Either way, it’s nice that they have different responses to seeing Lotus and hearing the noise.

I chose the “Are you okay” and “What do you mean, ‘it’s you’?” dialogue options, and I absolutely loved that my Operator’s line was “This isn’t just a bad memory, it is? This is new”. This acknowledges, at least in my interpretation, that Lotus does have lingering emotions from everything that’s happened in the past (Ballas/The New War, Hunhow, etc). Once again, Warframe surprises me by remembering to make the trauma that a character has gone through actually relevant to the story even after we’ve dealt with the source of the problem. I probably shouldn’t be surprised at this, but most video games I’ve seen don’t tend to do that. Usually characters are…somewhat fine after experiencing something horrific, so it’s refreshing to see a different (more realistic, imo) take on it. This isn’t even the only time we see this in this quest/afterwards. Lotus outright confirms it herself (“I will not let it devour one instant of my pain. Not even Ballas. Not even the Jade Light.”), and in doing so, is also showing us how she’s dealt with the events of the prior storylines. She’s gone through a series of extremely traumatic events, and she still has those painful memories, but she’s not going to succumb to the Indifference, even if It promises to take that away. She’s been hurt, yes, but she is healing, and she’s finally in a place where she can actually do so as herself. That doesn’t mean it’s easy for her to ignore the voice that’s calling to her —the voice that only she can hear— but she’s determined to. I’m curious if the voice-lines after the quest are different if a player had chosen Margulis or Natah instead of Lotus after the New War, though.

I find it very interesting that Lotus calls the Drifter ‘my champion’. I just really enjoy the fact that she definitively sees the Operator and the Drifter as two separate people, as opposed to ‘her child’, and ‘her child but older’, because I feel like that fact could have certainly been a cause of a bit of discomfort and a learning curve for both her and the Drifter after the New War.

Now, onto the 1999 portion of the quest, which, even as short as it was, was quite interesting. It was really weird to be in the Mall again and not hear ‘Party of Your Lifetime’ playing or see other Tenno dancing around the stage (like how it was during TennoCon). It was quite eery, and I love it. Also, we got to see Kalymos again, so that’s a plus.

All in all, this quest answered a lot of my questions about how the game is going to transition to 1999 (and even answered questions that I didn’t know I had). However, I am slightly (read: very) concerned at the same time, mainly because of the line with Lotus saying “If I become something you do not recognize, do not mourn”. I feel like that’s potentially foreshadowing something…They don’t usually put lines like that in without reason. Maybe I’m just reading too far into that…but I suppose we’ll see when 1999 comes out.

Anywho, another thing that I wasn’t expecting but am really glad that we got was the continued acknowledgement of Lotus/Natah/Margulis being a system. This happened not once, but twice (to my knowledge), and I think it’s really great that they didn’t just disregard the whole “I am not one” thing from The New War after we made our choice between the three of them. It’s really nice to see that that wasn’t just a one-off line, especially as we continue to get more and more moments where the game references them.

This is already way longer than it probably should be, but what can I say? I like well-written characters, and this game has so many of them. I’ve definitely forgotten some things that I’d wanted to put in this post, but ah well.

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Grief Week!

Thank you for the tags @lonestar-s5countdown @sugdenlovesdingle @bonheur-cafe @decafdino @literateowl @she-walked-away @ladytessa74 💕

1. Which character death in 911 Lone Star hit you the hardest?

I think initially Charles, because it was so unexpected and I really loved him. Tommy coming home and finding him is so shocking and deeply upsetting, and then the aftermath of Tommy’s anguish and finding a way to tell the twins. It’s heartbreaking!!

In terms of overall lasting effect it’ll have to be Gabriel for me. There’s just so much lost potential there as far as how he and Carlos had sort of just started really building some bridges and rekindling their relationship after a rocky decade or so. I know there was a lot left unsaid, and a lot of pain there, but Gabriel was clearly a devoted husband and a loving father, and I’m sad we won’t get any more resolution there.

2. What is your favorite grief-related moment in the show?

It’s gotta be the 2x02 montage after Tim’s death. It’s sad but also so beautiful to see everyone come together as a family to comfort and support each other.

3. Do you think there will be a character death in season 5? If so, any guesses about who it might be?

Enzo’s gonna die and leave Jonah to Tarlos. There is more to my theory but I don’t wanna get into it on main 🤭

4. Which living character’s death would destroy you the most?

Aside from Tarlos, Marjan! I am bracing myself for the potential of Natacha not returning if we do get a season 6, but I know if Marjan leaves Austin TK will visit her all the time wherever she goes 🤭

5. Which character’s childhood trauma do you think shaped them the most?

I think all the characters’ childhoods have shaped them. Since I have written extensively about Marjan’s I’m going to choose her!! She was the lone survivor of a horrific car accident, and she wasn’t able to save her best friend or his family. Then she persued a life of service, entering a career that was considered highly unusual and dangerous for a woman, in part I’m sure to make up for not being able to save her friend. She fought an uphill battle to get to where she is today, facing raised eyebrows from folks within her community and in the fire department. She had to be a lone wolf at home and at work her whole career until she got to Austin. Then she found she had this group of people who didn’t see her as an outlier or a statistic, they saw her as a competent and compassionate and kickass firefighter and a wonderful friend. And once she chose to make these people her family, she found her true home. She’s not alone anymore, these folks will hunt her down and drag her ass home when she’s in trouble. And she will never be in a position again where she can’t save her best friend and his family. (Taking down Sadie when she hurt TK and Carlos, helping Paul’s mom with her RV, literally saving Paul’s life!!!!!!)

Tagging @thisbuildinghasfeelings @tailoredshirt @tellmegoodbye @chicgeekgirl89 @guardian-angle22 @carlos-in-glasses @whatsintheboxmh @fitzherbertssmolder @firstprince-history-huh @messymindofmine @goldenskykaysani @toomanycupsoftea @fitzherbertssmolder @just-inside-her @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @carlos-tk @captain-gillian @herefortarlos @reasonandfaithinharmony @eclectic-sassycoweyes @fangirl-paba @lemon-drop151 @ironheartwriter @tinyluminaryzombie @never-blooms @happilylovingchaos @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @reyesstrand @reeeallygood @shes-an-oddbird and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[m-jelly]

The Crow's Song - Chapter 1

Prince Levi x Witch Reader

Royal Romance with magic.

Plot: Prince Levi works and trains too much, which concerns his parents. After trying everything to get him to rest and enjoy life they reach out to you as their last resort. Many in the palace thought you'd have a hard time working with the prince, like many before you, but instead, the Prince is very taken with you. Levi learns to relax and you learn to trust and together you learn to love. Things are never easy. While the two of you learn many things together and unlock love and powers in Levi, many things are working against you. Greed can appear in many ways, from power to attention. Both you and Levi have to face demons together, the rich and powerful want to stop you, a greedy ex wants to stop you and bitter rich ladies. When a witch hunt is started, Levi must do what he can to save the woman he loves before it's too late.

In this chapter: The king and queen show their concern for their son. You confront and ex and move on with life. You accept your job and meet the handsome prince.

Ao3

Part 2

Levi was uncomfortable.

He was sat in a meeting room on a sofa with his parents staring at him. The gentle scent of warm tea and cakes drifted through the room, but it brought no peace to him. No matter how much they tried to make it a comfortable meeting, it was never going to be. This meeting was all about how Levi was living his life.

It’s not like his parents, the King and Queen, were disappointed, they were just concerned about his well-being. All Levi ever did was work and train, he had no time for personal things or to relax. Levi had friends and social things to do, it’s just he chose to work hard because he wanted to create a life for his parents where they had nothing to worry about. He wanted to be strong and fix his country’s issues so his father could pass the crown on and have zero worries.

The problem with Levi’s thinking was he was working every second of every day, he was barely sleeping, barely eating and had no time for his friends and family. The life Levi was leading was going to be a very lonely one. Levi had tried to have a relationship, when he was a bit younger and just became an adult he romanced a noble lady, but it ended because she was not his priority. Levi wasn’t deeply hurt by the breakup because he wasn’t fully invested, but he did have his firsts with her so there was a slight pain and sadness to it.

“Levi.” Kuchel’s voice was so soft and gentle. “We’re not having this meeting to tell you off.”

“Far from it.” His stoic lovesick father interjected. King Sebastian was a devilishly handsome man with well-tamed stubble, shoulder-length black hair and the most charming smile but his eyes were slightly cold no matter how happy he was and Levi had inherited them. Sebastian had a very big heart. “This is a meeting to talk about how concerned we are about you.”

The two of them held hands and gave Levi a sad gaze. Even though the room was full of light and reflected so beautifully on the polished wood floors generating a warm look, the room seemed heavy and dark. A nice cool breeze drifted into the room from the two open double balcony doors, it provided some relief to the moment.

Levi was agitated and annoyed; normally at this time, he was practising his magic abilities to ensure he was a deadly knight. The problem was he struggled to say no to his parents, so no matter how much he wanted to escape the room and practice his magic and sword skills, he remained in the room with his overly concerned parents who loved him more than words could describe. Due to Levi’s deep love for both, he let them keep him in this meeting.

A light tink from Levi lifting his teacup from its saucer cut the silence in the room. “You’re both always so concerned about me.” The light flavour of Earl Grey spread in Levi’s mouth, he adored this tea. “What is it this time? I’m sure I can fix it.”

Kuchel leaned forward in her delicate flowing dress. “Levi, you work too much. You barely eat or sleep. You are exhausting yourself.” Tears filled her eyes. “You’re always working so hard and never have time to spend with us or your friends.”

Sebastian wiped his wife’s tears away. “Son, we love you so much.” He turned to him and smiled. “We understand you are working hard for us and our country, but you have to slow down. We’re a blessed family. We live longer than most humans because of our magical abilities and a powerful God has blessed us.” He rubbed Kuchel’s back. “Your mother was accepted with warm arms by our God and now she lives for a long time like us.” He released a long sigh. “Levi, if you keep doing what you’re doing you will be working for a very long time because you have an incredibly long life. Yes, you’ll have policies to your name, but what about other things? Friends are important.”

“Levi Ackerman.” Kuchel slapped her hand on the table. “Have you ever had a girlfriend? Or had sex?”

Levi slammed his cup down, he was not expecting his mother to ask that. “Ma.”

“Don’t you Ma me! I know that being with someone makes you happy or being with someone is the only way to be happy, but damn it Levi I want to be a grandma!”

He placed his head in his hands and huffed. “I have had a girlfriend before, yes we had sex and no we're not together anymore because she left me.”

“When…” She paused a moment as her frustration went and she was slowly comprehending her son’s words. “When were you in a relationship?”

He lifted his tired head from his hands and pushed back his soft raven hair. “A few years back when I came of age. We were both adults, it was a silly simple relationship with light feelings. She took all my firsts and I hers. It lasted just over a year, but she didn’t like that I was always working.” He rubbed his jaw. “I know, I know, I’m just proving your point.”

“You know what we’re concerned about, you can see it for yourself.”

Sebastian kissed his wife’s cheek. “Dove, give him a moment.”

She gazed at him with pure adoration. “Sorry, my bear, I just worry.”

“I know you do.” He nuzzled his nose against hers. “My beautiful dove.” He kissed the end of her nose before turning to his son. “You’re young. You can take your time and enjoy yourself. Please, spend more time with your friends, go on trips and go on dates. Just, be happy.”

Levi understood where his parents were coming from, he did need to relax a lot more but his goal was to ensure his parents and people were safe. For everyone to be safe, he had to make sure he worked hard so he was strong and smart. “I’m doing all this for you.”

Kuchel covered her mouth with her hand as she felt so touched. “That’s so sweet of you, but we never asked you to do this. You work too much and too hard.”

Sebastian smiled. “What your mother is trying to say is we love you deeply, we’re so damn proud of you and you’re an incredible example to Princes.”

Levi’s brow raised. “But?”

“But you are pushing yourself too hard. We might be stronger than your average human, but we can still get sick. You’re on your way to being very sick and you might cause irreversible damage.” He opened his hand to show red and black smoky magic dancing above his palm. “Our magical abilities rely on us being centred and healthy. The more you neglect yourself the more you will suffer at the hands of your own magic.” He clenched his fist and sighed. “We are trying to stop you before you get sick.”

Levi rose to his feet. “Thank you, both of you for caring so much about me.” He moved over to them and kissed both on their cheeks. “I’m touched that you care so deeply. I will try my best to behave.”

After exchanging some concerned and unconvinced looks, the couple hugged their son and let him go. The royal couple remained in the meeting room while the Prince went right back to the endless duties he set for himself. While the Prince practised with his magic and sword, he had a moment that concerned those watching. He came to a stop as a dizzy spell hit him and blood dribbled down from his nose.

Whispers started and soon the event that Levi quickly covered up soon made it to the head butler. Charles rushed through the halls and into the meeting room. He bowed to both. “Your majesties, I come with a report about the Prince.”

Kuchel clasped the hand of her husband. “What’s happened, Charles?”

“The Prince went right to training and I am sorry to say he has bled from his nose.”

She dropped her head into her hands. “Oh, Levi.”

Sebastian rubbed her back. “What are we to do with him…”

An idea struck Kuchel, she was shocked that she had never thought about it before. For a long time, she’d been trying to set Levi up with beautiful women but none of it worked and he rejected them. She came from a magical background and knew that often influential people would have a magical assistant. “I’ve got it!” It was the perfect plan and she knew just where to go and who to see. “We need to get him a magical assistant. He will work with them, but they’ll secretly be working for us! They’ll help us get him to rest, take care of himself and they’ll report to us.”

Sebastian hummed. “I want to be honest with our son. We’ll tell him the magical assistant is there to help him relax more.”

“Okay, we’ll do that!” She grinned. “Thank you for supporting me.”

“Anytime.” He frowned a little. “Where to go and who to see though.”

“Well, I know where we can meet them, but I don’t know who the best is at the moment.”

Charles bowed. “I will gather the information for you.”

“Thank you, Charles.” She stood up and made her way over to the butler. “I know of a few places you can go to find good magical users.” She read out a few as Charles noted them on his little notebook. “They have to be someone who will grab our son’s attention. They have to be powerful, strong, smart and funny. You know the Prince well, you helped us raise him.” She leaned closer and whispered. “Pick a witch. Make sure she’s curvy with a good bust on her.”

Charles chuckled. “Yes, Your Majesty.” He bowed before leaving the room and checking his list. “Hmm, I’m sure I can find someone that meets these requirements.”

“Requirements?” Levi’s tired voice echoed down the hall. “What’s going on, Charles?”

He smiled at the Prince. “Your parents are looking to hire someone, that’s all.”

Levi dabbed under his nose. “Really? I thought we were fully staffed.” He pondered for a moment. “I’m curious.”

“Really?”

Levi nodded. “I would like to meet them, whoever they may be, even if it is a small role.”

Charles smiled fondly at the prince. “Well, you do like meeting all the staff. I will notify you when they are hired.”

“Thank you.” He winced a bit. “I’m going to rest. I think I’ve pushed myself too much today.”

“Rest well, Your Highness.”

The deadpan look you gave could not be played off or excused, it was clear to everyone that you didn’t want to be in the hall in front of the King and his slimy advisor. You were a strong witch and people admired that, but it wasn’t the only reason people took notice. The way you dressed was in a very confident manner. You wore mostly black, but your dresses were always low cut to show off your large cleavage and sometimes your dresses would flash your legs.

The King wasn’t the one that really wanted you there. King Rowen was known to be a bit of a gullible idiot who wanted only money, booze and women. People mocked him for being weak and a puppet because the real leader of the country was his warlock advisor. Since the moment his advisor slithered his way into the palace, he had King Rowen under his thumb.

Vance Noir, the warlock who put a bitter taste in your mouth. The two of you had a history and he was not going to let you forget it. Before he lost himself to his powers, he was a wonderful man who wanted so badly to be strong so he could help, but something corrupted him. He was tall and lean, which was incredibly attractive to most. His nose was slender, his lips slightly plump and his eyes incredibly intense that drew you in and you’d become lost in the purple colour. His was very pale but seemed to be a bit off in colour, you could never put your finger on it. The black soft wavey hair, which was parted in the middle, always seemed to frame his beautiful face. His voice was a silken smooth deep one that would lull you into a hypnotised state.

As you stood listening to the King, you could feel Vance’s gaze on you and you had eyed him too. He was in all black with dark gold and black armour clasped on parts of his body and a deep purple cloak with a collar and a broach to keep it in place. He had a firm grip on the top of the throne to assert his dominance. When you took in a deep breath, which caused your breasts to almost spill out of your dress, Vance gripped the seat harder.

It was a few years ago that you and Vance met. At first, you were friends with each other but you did become romantic and physical. The relationship was passionate and full of fire, but that fire burned too bright too fast. After a few months of deep feelings, Vance developed a deadly ego and became a bit of an egotistic dick. So, when it got too much and it was all about showing off and being stronger than others and not about helping, you kicked his ass out of your life. The problem was, no matter how much you tried to get away from him, he always seemed to pop back into your life.

You yawned a moment before huffing. “Look, Your Majesty, I appreciate the job offer but I’m not interested. I like being a free witch doing odd jobs. I mean…” You spoke in a mocking tone. “You have the great and powerful Vance Noir.” You smirked and held back a laugh. “What more could you want?” It seemed that no one picked up on your rude and sarcastic tone, which was good for you. “I’ll be on my way.” You bowed deeply. “Goodbye, Your Majesty.”

The moment he waved you off you raced out of there like your ass was on fire. You skipped down the hall feeling a lot better. As you moved down the long hall thinking about a meat-filled bun at the local baker you liked a cloud of dark purple smoke formed at your side. Vance strolled out of the smoke, his long legs allowing him to catch up with you easily. Although he looked a little fragile he was incredibly strong and was the object of many women’s affections.

Vance looked desperate and irritated, but he managed to hide it well behind a charming smile. “My sweet doll, can we talk?”

You flicked your gaze over to him before holding your head high and looking away. “What’s there to talk about? I said no to the King and that’s that.”

He stepped right in your path causing you to come to a sudden stop and almost slam into his chest. His gloved hands gripped your upper arms. “Think this through.”

You looked up at him and couldn’t believe that you used to look at this man with deep love. “Vance, I said no because this wasn’t the King’s idea, it was yours. There is no value to me taking the offer.”

He rubbed his thumbs on your skin as if he was trying to arouse you. “I’m the value.”

Your face dropped and you gave him a deadpan look. “Gods you’re such an egotistical dick.” You took his hands off you. “I’m not interested in your offer, Vance. Now, let me leave.”

He said your name sternly but had a smile on his face. “Please, reconsider.”

You smiled at him as you shimmered and turned into little sparkles of light and passed through him. Your sparkles danced until you came together outside on the grand stairs making the guards jump. “Sorry gents, didn’t mean to scare you.” You wiggled your dress up a bit. “Mm, time for a meat bun.”

The double doors behind you slammed open. Vance’s hair was a little messy, his eyes a more toxic purple and his teeth a little sharp as he gritted them. He almost shouted your name. “I wasn’t done talking to you.”

You smirked at him. “I was done though. There’s nothing more to say, Vance. I’m not staying here.”

A guard sniggered a bit before talking under his breath, but it wasn’t quiet. “Women can reject the warlock.”

Vance flew towards you, his cloak flowing around you with his magic. He lowered his voice. “Stop this childish behaviour. You know you and I belong together. Come back to me.” He reached up and lightly held your neck as he said your name. “Please. We need each other.”

You laughed and stepped back. “You need me. I don’t need you.” You turned and jumped off the steps and floated down to the floor. “Vance, you need to accept we’re over. There are a lot of other women out there you can be with romantically. The time we had together was lovely, but I’m done.” You blew him a kiss. “See you around.”

As soon as you left the palace grounds Vance no longer followed you. The man loved money and power too much, so the idea of leaving the grounds repulsed him. So, you were happy and safe now from your frustrating ex. You turned into your sparkles of light and moved over the land until you reached the bakery. You became your normal self and bought a freshly made meat bun.

After getting your food you made your way to your magical carriage. You climbed inside and ate your delicious meal in the comfort of your large home. You relaxed for a while before using your magic to set your carriage on its course to the next country, one that you knew was ruled by rather nice people, was a good size, by the ocean, by the mountains and was just so perfect.

A loud knock on your door woke you up from your deep sleep indicating you had arrived in the new country. You sat up, fixed your dress and hair before shoving the wooden serving door open. You rubbed your eyes as the sun shined brightly in the sky. “Mm.” You winced a bit before looking down to see a sharply dressed man. “By the looks of you, you are a butler.”

Charles smiled at you. “Indeed I am.” He gripped a piece of paper in his hands, as it crumpled a bit you could see it was an advert for your services that the good people of this country handed out when you arrived. “I heard a lot about you from the people. You’re very popular here.”

“It’s probably because of my infectious smile.”

He chuckled. “Possibly, you are a very beautiful lady.”

You hummed a laugh. “Buttering me up, huh? What might I call you.”

“Charles.” He bowed to you. “Wonderful to meet you, my lady.”

“You too.”

“May we talk? I have something rather important to discuss with you.”

You eyed him a moment and noticed the pin he had was the coat of arms for the Ackerman royal family. “How about you come in here and chat? I can imagine it’s something you want to talk about in private, hmm?”

Charles smiled softly. “If that is okay?”

You opened a door. “Come on in. I’ll pop the kettle on.”

He climbed inside with a soft frown, he wasn’t sure if there was enough room. As soon as he got inside the door closed behind him and the tiny carriage was huge inside. He admired the room full of blankets and cushions. Everywhere there was a place to sit was full of comfort. Plants hung from the roof and others were resting on tables and sides.

You walked over from your old kitchen area and handed him a cup. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“This…this is interesting…it’s so small on the outside.”

You hummed a laugh. “Magic is fun.”

“Thank you for the tea.” He took a sip and hummed in delight. “This is divine.”

You sat down and grinned. “I make my own tea.”

He eyed you and almost choked on his tea because of how you looked, you were an incredibly beautiful woman. “I ah.”

You reached over and wiped his face with a hankie. “Too hot?”

“You could say that.” He was talking about you. He flinched a moment when he realised why he was there. “I have a letter for you.” He placed his cup down and pushed his hand into his inside breast pocket. “King Sebastian and Queen Kuchel are in desperate need of help.”

Your shoulders slumped at hearing those words because you couldn’t help but feel like this was another royal who wanted your power. “Right…we’ll I won’t fight in any battles or wars.”

Charles gasped as his eyes widened. “Bat…oh! No, no! This is different. Please, read the letter.”

You took it from him and read it slowly. “Oh…oh you’re right…” You lowered the paper. “How old is the prince that you all need to do this?”

“He is in his mid-twenties.”

You stared down at the letter. “Hmm…I…I…wow…the poor man needs to have some fun.”

“So?” Charles shuffled closer. “Will you aid us?”

You tilted your head. “So, all I have to do is just look after the prince?”

“Yes, and you get paid a lot of gold for it.”

You released a long sigh. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

He released a long sigh. “Thank the Gods.”

Two beautiful royals stood before you with pleading looks in their eyes. Your heart went out to the two of them. They loved their son so much that they wanted him to get better and have some light in his life. They had tried everything to get him to relax and have fun, but he was so focused on being the best Prince and future King that he neglected himself.

Prince Levi was a strong and smart man. He gave everything he could to those around him to prevent the loss of life. Every second of every day he worked hard. No matter what was said to him he continued to push himself beyond what a human should be doing.

As a strong witch, you could enchant people and heal as well. It made sense to you that they would request help from someone with your talents. You were a little embarrassed when you met them because your attire was a little on the revealing side. The dress you wore was a low cut to show off your chest that was held up by a corset. A slit went up the side of your leg as a nice peek-a-boo.

You smiled brightly at the beautiful couple. “So…Charles told me all about this…job.” You cleared your throat. “I am rather happy to help out. Do you need me to prove my magical abilities?” You turned into light sparkles and appeared above them and floated around. “Oh! I could grow some plants…” You hummed in thought. “Maybe I could create something!”

Kuchel giggled. “You don’t need to.” She offered her hand to you. “You’ve just shown your abilities without realising.”

You floated down. “Sorry, I tend to fly when I get excited.” You smiled brightly. “I would love to help your son out.”

Sebastian shook your hand. “Wonderful news!”

Kuchel eyed you, you were a stunning woman and the power flowing off you was incredible, but she could see a dark mark on you and it concerned her. Something bad had noticed you and she wasn’t sure if she could let her son near that. “Mm, perhaps you two should meet first? Levi has to like you.”

“Darling dove?” He moved her to the side. “What are you saying? She’s perfect. I think she could bring out Levi’s hidden ability.”

“Sweet bear.” She held his hands and whispered. “Something dark has touched her. It’s not strong, but I’m concerned.”

You leaned closer. “It’s probably my ex.” You smiled when both jumped. “Sorry, I’m a quiet thing. I used to be romantically involved with a warlock but he turned out to be a dick. I saw him yesterday but it was for business reasons. I rejected his offer. He grabbed my upper arms, so you’re probably sensing that.” You smiled. “I promise he’s no longer involved with me and I am a good clean witch.”

Sebastian smiled. “Let’s give her a chance.”

“If I suck, I will give you back all of the gold you pay me.” You landed and bowed to them both. “I can give you daily reports.” You stood back up and smiled again. “Maybe you could put me on a month trial period?”

Kuchel sighed. “We won’t put you on a trial period. I trust this will go well. Just know that if I think you are dangerous, we will force you to leave.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll take you to him.” She softly smiled at you. “Come with me.” She moved out of the room with you. “You really are a beautiful thing.”

“Oh, why thank you.” You fiddled with your dress. “Not as beautiful as you though.”

“You’re too kind.”

Queen Kuchel led you down a grand hall as she told you all about her son. At first, you thought the Prince was someone young and this was a nanny thing. However, that was very wrong. When the Queen opened the study door you saw a handsome man in his mid to late 20s. He was so beautiful to you.

Kuchel released a long sigh. "Levi? Son? You know how your father and I have been very worried about you."

Levi ruffled his hair as he scribbled away. "I told you, I am fine. You have nothing to worry about." A gasp escaped him when his papers began to float up away from him. "Tch, shit, come back!" He jumped up to grab it. "Damn it!"

You hummed a little laugh causing Levi to glare at you. You gave him a playful wink and saw him slowly take you in. The glare he gave you slowly turned into a strong blush, his pupils dilated and a shiver ran right through him. He stopped jumping and just stood there and stared at you with a longing look in his eyes. Your aura, presence and looks instantly tamed the Prince. This had never happened to you before, so you were very interested in the Prince. Perhaps he was your soulmate.

You returned his papers to his desk and introduced yourself. You moved over to him and offered your hand. "Pleasure to meet you. I'm your witch. My job is to make sure you keep on top of your health and to also have a bit of fun."

Levi took your hand and kissed the back of your fingers with his soft warm lips. "The pleasure is all mine. When do you start?"

"Right away!" You glanced over at Kuchel. "Right, Your Majesty?"

Kuchel smiled brightly, which just lit up the room. "Yes! I'll leave you both alone."

You floated up and sat on Levi's desk. You made sure that your ass was right on his work. "So, what do you want to do? Do you want to read a book? Go on a walk? Take a long relaxing bath?" You leaned forward and pressed your breasts together. "How about a massage?"

Levi shivered. "I...I...I...uh..." For once in his life, Levi couldn't function or process any thoughts. You had truly captured him in a spell without the use of magic. "Boobs."

You blinked a few times before you started laughing at Levi's face going pink. "They are very nice, huh?" You reached towards him and grabbed his tie. With a gentle tug, you pulled Levi towards you. "Why are you so far away, hmm? It's okay to get close." You played with his tie a little. "You're so handsome."

"I...uh...um...th-thank you."

You took his hands and started massaging them. "So much tension in your hands." You pressed his hand on your chest above your breasts. "I need to work a lot on your body."

Levi whimpered a little as he became overwhelmed by your beauty and your warmth. "You...you do?"

You ran your hands up his chest as you read his aura. You cupped his face in your hands and hummed. "Yes, yes, you are rather unwell. I need to work hard on fixing your aura, mana and your body." You floated off the table and grabbed his hand. "Come."

Not a single thought went through his mind as you pulled him down the hallway. His eyes locked onto your ass as it moved with each step. He felt like he was drooling at the sight of you. Something was between the two of you, he could just sense it. There was this magnetic pull and he wanted to keep you close to him, always.

With your powerful magic, you filled his large pool bath with water and special fragrances that would help him out the best. Once completed you ushered him towards the water. After turning your back, Levi removed his clothes and walked down into the water. It didn't take Levi very long to relax. He was almost out like a light.

Levi released a long moan as his body relaxed. "This...this is incredible."

You pulled your dress up and sat on the edge of the bath with your legs in the water. "My special healing magic."

Levi turned his head and gazed at your thighs. "Uh...umm." His eyes trailed up your legs to see your dress just about covered your underwear. He gulped hard before looking up at you. "Th-thank you."

You reached over and began massaging his shoulders. "Let me heal you. I have an incredible touch."

He shivered and moaned as your hands moved against his skin. "Mm."

You leaned closer. "I want to get to know every inch of your body, your highness." You pushed your fingers up into his hair and massaged his scalp. "What you crave, desire and need. I want to give you everything."

“I-I don’t n-need much.”

You pushed your hands down onto his pecs. “Do I make you nervous?”

Levi pulled your hands from him. “This is just a lot, that’s all.”

You got up and stretched. “Shall I leave you for now then? It is rather late and you should get some rest.”

“Rest? But I have work to do.”

You crouched down next to him and leaned closer to him so he got a face full of your breasts. “If you don’t go to bed right after this bath, I will lock you up in your bedroom and treat you like a silly little bratty princess. Is that what you want?”

He gulped hard. “N-No.”

“Plus, if you do as I say I’ll give you a reward.”

His brow raised. “Reward?”

“Yep.” You jumped to your feet. “Exciting, right?”

“Mm. I’ll go to bed.”

You hummed a laugh. “Good boy!”

Levi watched you leave and felt a lot of joy go with you. He released a long sigh and ruffled his wet hair. He thought about going back to work, but a part of him really wanted to see what his reward would be. “Aaaaah…fuck me.”

[meganslife]

Pen pals - p. parker

TASM! Peter Parker x Fem! reader

summary: peter parker is your pen pal.

warnings: none so far!!!

hello helloooo!!! i had this idea because i myself have a pen pal, and it’s honestly really fun and reminds me of peter. this will be multiple parts!! anyhoo, happy reading!

Having a pen pal was fun. It gave you something to look forward to whenever you needed to open the mailbox. It was nice, although your lovely pen pal, Peter, was on the other side of the country. You were in Seattle. He was in Queens, New York. It was a nice arrangement that you two had. No phone numbers, just handwritten letters, and cute little pictures.

When you opened your apartment mailbox and saw that you had a letter from Peter, your heart felt warm. It was the warmest you’ve felt in a while.

Y/N,

My apologies for not writing you back sooner. School is kicking my butt recently, and I moved back in with May (hence why a new address is on the envelope). My old roommate went BALLISTIC on me for little things, so I decided I needed to leave. May is a better person to have around, anyway.

The fall semester ended last week, and I wish I could say that I passed my finals. My professors are just mean, I think. I’ve been super stressed out lately, and writing this letter is helping me. You’re my savior. Also, the pictures you sent me of you in Tennessee are amazing. You should be a model! I’m sure you hear that a lot because of how pretty you are;)

I hope it’s not too cold in Seattle. I took some pictures of random things I thought you’d like, maybe that’ll distract you from how cold it is. I know how much you hate the cold. (You chose the wrong place to live!)

Anyhoo, I’m sorry this letter is short. My wrist is cramping up and May needs help with dinner. Write back as soon as you can.

Much love,

Peter ♥

Photo one: Peter in an obnoxiously large New Year’s Eve hat, grinning from ear to ear with his friend(?)

Photo two: A Polaroid of stray cats bonding in what you assume is Peter’s front yard.

Photo three: A Polaroid of Peter that was clearly taken by May. Peter is holding a tray of muffins, and he looks really stupid in his apron.

You get to writing him a letter right away.

Dear Peter,

I love the pictures. I’ll add them to my growing collection on my wall:)

My day has been so shitty. I wish you were here. It gets lonely, sometimes. I have friends, I’ve told you very little about them. They’re great, don’t get me wrong, but living alone is just lonely. Maybe I should get a cat or something. I need something to come home to. (Sorry for making this portion of the letter sad. I just needed someone to talk to.)

The weather in Queens looks nice. You’re awfully lucky, Peter. It’s cold and slushy here. I’m cold to the bone. Like, nothing will warm me up. It’s annoying. I just want it to be summer again. I hate being pale and cold.

I don’t have any pictures as of right now, so I’m sorry about that. I have some drawings I could give you.

My letter is short too, so I guess we’re even. I need to nap the sadness away.

Cold and loving,

Y/N ♥

~

The next letter you receive from Peter is about a week later.

My dearest Y/N,

I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well.

I know we said we wouldn’t exchange phone numbers, and I respect that, but I just need to give you mine. I need to. Just in case. I don’t want you to be sad and lonely and have to wait for my letters to come. I like you. I like you A LOT– And I honestly want to meet you in person but that’s a conversation for another day. I’ve been saving up for it. Maybe you should come during the spring? You’d love it here, I know it. Or I could come to you? Whatever, we can talk about it more over the phone.

My phone number:

(718)-XXX-XXXX

Call me;)

Love always,

Peter ♥

You immediately spring up to your feet and grab your phone. Your hands were shaking as you dialed the number and called it, praying he wouldn’t think it was a spam call.

“Pete?” You ask, voice higher than you meant it to be.

Boyish laughter erupts on the other end of the line, and you already know that it’s Peter. Of course, his laugh would sound so sweet.

“Hi, lovie.”

[hannahssimblr]

“Do you feel weird?” Jen says, the car window rolled down at the wind whipping her new hair back from her forehead to reveal the smear of dye along her hairline. 

“No, it’s just another normal summer,” I reply. The road to Wexford stretches out ahead of us and the sky looks big, vast, flat, like porcelain.

“Without your family.”

“Yeah, it’s a relief. Can you imagine Chris and Colette in close quarters like that? Howling at each other all summer? I think I’d drown myself in the sea.”

“Well, I think you’re a fool to let the Shane and Joe stay.”

I pull a face, “Why?” 

“Because they’ll ruin the place. They won’t clean up after themselves.”

“Neither will I,” I grin at her as she scrunches her face up in disgust, and I mess up her hair, subtly checking my hand in case any of it came off on me, “You chose this, Jenny, a summer with the boys. It's days of playing PlayStation and leaving our dirty dishes in the sink.”

“Wouldn’t you have rather we'd gone to Italy or something?”

“What? No. I love the beach house. It’s going to be fun.”

She eyes me sceptically, and I know that she can tell that I’m putting on this positive attitude to disguise the weird, empty feelings left since the breakup. That version of me, the sad, longing, regretful one, though, is not for Jen, it's for me alone, in the lonely hours when night spills into morning, and my thumb hesitates on Michelle’s number.

I’m always on the brink of calling her and taking it all back, because I miss her, and being with her again is a guaranteed way to make this rotten heartbreak disappear, or even just to postpone it until the last moment, until I really have to leave. 

It’s never felt like this before. I never walked away from a relationship with this cocktail of tumultuous emotion swirling around in me, like anger, sadness, grief, longing, yearning for her and the way it felt to touch her, while at the same time practically shuddering with relief that it’s over. When I think about the bad things, the shouting and ranting and the throwing and the silent treatment, it’s easier for me. Easier than remembering the good things, like right now as I grip the steering wheel and visualise that series of moles on her hip that looks like a constellation of stars. I relive the moment I kissed them one by one, the way that she laughed as squirmed as my lips tickled her skin and I threw my arms around her to hold her captive.

I refocus. Jen is saying something. 

“Kelly?” I repeat, plucking one of her words out of the air, “um, sorry, what did you say again?” 

“Yeah, about Kelly and her friends,” she says, “I said Shane is driving them down tomorrow.”

“Oh, surely they’re not staying with us too, are they?” there’s only so many rooms at the beach house… 

She snorts, “No, they’ll be in the Healy’s mobile. Their parents are letting them use it.”

I pause, “I didn’t know Kelly had friends.”

Jen slaps my leg and I flinch away, cackling. 

“You have to promise me that you’ll be nice this summer,” she warns, still holding up her hand like she’s ready to smack me again, “you have to promise that your days of bullying Kelly are in the past.”

I gasp in mock outrage, “she bullies me!” 

“She clearly has issues. You have to stop provoking her. And Liam too!”

“I do not provoke Liam.”

“No, but you’re… generally not nice to him.”

“Not true.”

“You are! You and the boys, you become this nasty little mob when you’re all together, and you’re not as funny as you think you are.”

“I’ll be perfectly nice to everyone this summer,” I insist. “I won’t put a foot out of line.”

“I don’t believe you,” she says, but I can tell she’s done talking about it. 

She slumps back in her chair and turns the radio on. Again, it’s Jason Derulo. 

“You know this song is growing on me?” She says, and I just groan. 

We let it play. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[olasketches]

WHAT R UR THOUGHTS ON THIS CHAPTER!!! id love to hear what u think of megumi's speech & yuuji's response & the significance of kid megumi and thar specific memory but yuuji being there instead

hi anon! I’m sorry for keeping you waiting I needed some time to process everything that happened in the recent chapter lol about my thoughts… honestly, op of this post summarised my thoughts on this chapter perfectly. I wouldn’t have put it better. the only thing I could talk about is the significance of that specific memory and how yuuji appearing in gojo's place makes the whole moment so bittersweet. we all know that memory. we all remember that it was the time first time megumi meets gojo. what gives these two parallel such strike contrast is how gojo in the original memory came to magumi not out of altruistic reasons or to help him, but to recruit him. he gave this 5 year old kid a choice that wasn't really a choice. it was either going with him to work as a sorcerer or let him be sold to the zenins where tsumiki would be abused. this is moment signifies a big shift in megumi's mindset and self worth because now he has to work hard and be able to keep up with gojo to keep tsumiki safe... but what makes it even more sad that no one ever asked megumi what he actually wanted and all he ever dreamed of was to live a normal and simple life. that's what makes this memory and yuuji appearing in it so bittersweet, because it's the first time someone sees megumi for megumi and not his "potential". funnily enough both gojo and yuuji came to megumi feeling lonely, but it's yuuji who tells megumi that he can't ask him to live and keep going after what he's been through, which is a big contrast to what gojo told him "you better get strong"... but then he added "don't get left behind." and what yuuji tells kid megumi when he meets him :"))??

"I'll be lonely without you around... fushiguro"

throughout the manga megumi always chose to be at yuuji's side, even when that costed him everything... and even after all that, in his dream world, all he ever wanted is to walk by yuuji's side. that's what made him fight back, cause in the end, he didn't have to be strong to not get left behind, but to be strong enough to not leave yuuji behind.

[livingthedragonlife]

i make good playlists too sometimes. listen to it maybe?

explanations for why i chose the songs under the cut because i miss 8tracks. BIG HUGE SPOILER WARNING if you haven’t read/finished the manga!!!

Pure Love by Mother Mother — I always liked this song as a comforting presence but you could also read it as a sinister one. Definitely leaning into the sinister version here. I was also thinking of the innocent beginnings of the Winged Lion, just a little speck granting tiny desires before it was drawn "like a moth to a flame" to bigger ones. And the rest is history.

Remain Nameless by Florence + the Machine —

But know I'll always be around This can remain the same

Call me when you need me Call me anything you want Darling, believe me Nothing I haven't done before

The King by Anjimile — This one just gives me the vibes of how the power of being a dungeon lord drives everyone insane.

The Cage by Vera Sola — Deeply Mithrun

Under A Dome by Of Monsters and Men —

I'm taking over my own throne I’m holding my heart and it's overgrown I'm kicking out and I’m full of life So why should I cry over northern lights? And it's over now and I'm falling

It Will Come Back by Hozier — This WHOLLEE song is just. The Winged Lion in a nutshell. It's the entire premise.

Thousand Eyes by Of Monsters and Men — The dungeon lords can see through all their monster servants. A thousand of them even

Everybody Wants to Rule The World by Lorde — "uh oh shit is getting real"

Moderation by Florence + the Machine — The Winged Lion having absolutely no chill

Never Pleased by Portugal. The Man —

No I'm not Jesus but I'm more than a man I'll never grow old or lonely or sad Still I'm never pleased I'm never pleased

From the corners until I wake up walking as careful can be Careful to miss out on all that I see I'm never pleased

Tethered to the Dark by Anya Marina — The way the Winged Lion can manipulate you in fucked up ways you didn't even know were possible

Dangerous by Son Lux —

Are you dangerous? Carved right into my bed Quick lobotomy Then left me for dead

Mr. Lonely (feat. Fat Lip) by Portugal. The Man — Ultimately, being a dungeon lord leaves you alone and obsessed and with ultimate power that you don't even have full control over.

Forever by Mother Mother — Marcille's motivation but also the Winged Lion's? Marcille essentially never wants to see anyone her loves die ever again, and the Winged Lion wants to feast on desires forever. Unfortunately, entropy.

Guilty Filthy Soul by AWOLNATION — The Winged Lion doing some more crazy manipulation.

Propaganda by Muse — Obviously the dungeon lords are taken in by the Winged Lion's "propaganda," it "eats souls," it "toys with the truth." BUT!! Mortal desire is also something the Winged Lion "can't refuse." It's convinced by its own lies. Did I just blow your mind

Carnivorous by Band of Skulls — Eating yummy desires om nomnomnom

Little Monster by Royal Blood — The Winged Lion wants to eat Laios sooooo bad and this is a song about that.

Animals by Muse — LAIOS IS GONNA ENSURE HIS OWN SURVIVAL!!!!!!!!

Leave My Body by Florence + the Machine — The Winged Lion leaves its own body to steal Laios', for "one grand moment." Laios leaves his own body to be become a monster. But the Winged Lion loses a lot more than its mind in that arrangement! I feel like the "Your history keeps pulling me, pulling me down" part can be interpreted in this context as like... the history of life. Of survival. Finite resources, something the Winged Lion will never understand. Florence Welch did not intend for this to be what her song was about but I don't care it's blorbo time

[gojoest]

I know his schedule is something trivial and pretty good information but honestly, it just makes me feel sad😭🥺 like the whole thing is just so lonely I mean on top of barely getting any sleep, working all day as a teacher and doing the thankless job that is being a sorcerer he’s still makes time for the kids😭😭 I mean bro doesn’t even have his own HOUSE.

 wanna bet that his room isn’t even personalized because he’s only there to sleep, like I mean MINIMAL shit is in there save for a few photos on his desks and stuff (I mean yeah he probably does have clothes but that’s like probably the one of the only things he actually chooses for himself aside from food) but like I mean there’s NOTHING on the walls. Not even furniture that he chose himself;; it’s not lived in, it just has basic stuff there for him😭😭

yes, it makes me really sad :( and then i keep thinking about other known info and putting 2 and 2 together after his insane schedule was revealed, like how he doesn’t have any hobbies, it’s said bc he can pull off anything he tries his hand at, but it looks more like he doesn’t have the time for hobbies :,) his entire existence revolves around jujutsu to the point where what he enjoys the most is once again related to sorcery and it’s meeting ppl with talent as a jujutsu sorcerer

i like to think he probably does have his own house but it’s more convenient to stay in the school dorms bc it saves time and he doesn’t have much of it anyway. and yes his room is probably pretty simple too and doesn’t have that specific scent of a place where somebody resides in bc he only sleeps there, 3 hrs. you know what i’m talking about right? how each home smells different, the so called occupant odor :,) i don’t think his room has it, he doesn’t occupy that place as much for it to sink in *cries*

[loserchildhotpants]

there is something so sad abt this exchange, and so foreboding.

Aziraphale is still so focused on Heaven and The Rules™️ and he’s so frightened— it’s funny for a while, up until it’s not, and Crowley winds up feeling the need to save Aziraphale from that fear.

"Well yeah, you did but...I'm not going to tell anyone. Are you? … well, then nothing has to change.”

He says it lightheartedly, but it defines their entire relationship; he knows Aziraphale won’t go confessing to being anything other than Pure and Good in the eyes of Heaven, even if he knows so well already that he did the right thing. It’s not right by Heaven’s rules, so Aziraphale can’t speak of it with anyone outside of Crowley, and even then, he’s so scared to speak of it, he barely can.

Crowley tells him nothing has to change.

“You won’t say anything, I won’t say anything, and nothing ever has to change.” — “we never speak of this blossoming thing between us, i swear I’ll never so much as mention it, because I know this scares you — that I scare you — and that probably will never change. And I won’t make you change. I won’t ask you to. Silence will keep us safe — as long as we don’t define it, you and I, we never have to lose us.”

And then we pivot into the subject of the inherent loneliness of their shared Otherness, and that of course Crowley lies — he’s a demon. It’s like a mockery of Aziraphale, “see, I do The Bad Thing of lying, because I’m simple and evil, you don’t have to think anymore on that. Probably shouldn’t, anyway. If you do, you might notice that I did it to protect you, that I care about you, that good and evil aren’t so simple in reality, and that will make you more scared, more lonely, but I don’t mind protecting you from that, so all you need to know is that I’m a demon and I lie because of course I do.”

He bears the terrible weight of Knowing, which ofc is v fitting of the serpent of Eden, but at some point, Aziraphale has to choose to know, to truly understand the difference between good and right and bad and wrong, and this is where Crowley’s been stuck at for eons.

When he spoke about their love out loud, he was breaking The Unspoken Agreement, he was exposing Aziraphale to the ambiguity of right and wrong, the uncomfortable truth that they can choose who they are, in the world and to each other, and that they should choose each other — that he wants them to.

And he knew Aziraphale would be scared, so he chose his words very precisely, was up and ready to go to the Ritz and fly right by it all, just get it out in the open and maybe wait another thousand years to see if Aziraphale might be willing then to entertain the thought of holding hands or maybe a kiss if he were being very brave — but fear won.

Crowley thought, “I know I promised not to mention it, that neither of us would — but it’s wrong not to. I think the right thing now is for us to speak about it out loud, to just let us love one another — that can’t be wrong, right?”

And Aziraphale said, “you’re the bad guys,” and Crowley realized he’d said what was never supposed to be said, all for nothing.

Aziraphale insisted that he not worry, because he can change Crowley back into a Good Guy, just the opposite of what Crowley said to him back then, saying “I won’t ask you to change, we never have to say it out loud,” — and Crowley’s just back on that rock, just as lonesome as he’s ever been.

I guess the biggest difference with the kiss is that he says not to bother forgiving him. Maybe Aziraphale did forgive him for lying about the inherent loneliness of being Other, but this time? Crowley’s too hurt — and whatever, he’s a demon, right? He’s just a bad guy. What’s worth forgiving?