#if i write it maybe i'll put it on my main handle instead of my pseud

[xdjville]

wayv and pda

pairing: wayv x gn!reader

cw: none

author's note: guess who's back from the dead! long story short i've been booked and busy, and since i started this blog purely to post if and when i have an idea and/or inspiration, i didn't want to push myself to put out just anything. i'll continue to write as motivation comes though, so please stick around 🫶

#kun

not really huge on pda. he prefers to keep intimacy for, well, intimate spaces, but still enjoys showing his affection for you to the level that says "this is my partner and i love them" without making any of the parties involved uncomfortable. that said, he prefers to do it with actions over touching, like opening the doors for you, walking on the side of the sidewalk that's closer to the street, or helping you out of your outerwear, but linking your arms or wrapping his hand around your waist is also very welcome. he's extremely observant too, so he'll move your necklace if the clasp has shifted to the front, fix your hair or head accessories, or take care of an eyelash that fell on your cheek. bonus: not exactly pda unless someone else is in the car, but he will put a hand over your thigh when he's driving.

#ten

honestly couldn't care less. not that he doesn't show pda, he does, a lot, but he never does it on purpose. he'd just casually put a hand around your shoulders when you're walking, on your thigh when you're sitting down, or place his chin on your shoulder when you're waiting in line out of habit. he'd touch your arm or shoulder when he's talking and lightly slap your arm while laughing because it feels natural to him. he's mindlessly reaching for your hand and intertwining your fingers when he's absorbed into telling a story, and give it a little squeeze when he's done and realizes it. most of those he would also do to his members or other close friends, but none of them would give him that familiar feeling in the stomach when reciprocating his affection like you do.

#winwin

not a fan, at all. not in front of strangers, not family, not the members. you'd have to take things slowly and look out for his reactions to get an idea of what he's okay with, or simply just sit him down and get it out of him. he will get shy and embarrassed, and that's the main reason for why he's not big on pda, but unless you plainly don't respect his boundaries he won't be uncomfortable to the point of getting annoyed either. he can handle a few teasing comments from his members and probably will gradually accommodate, but he still prefers when there's only one pair of eyes watching him. when it comes to holding hands, please link your pinky with his, for the sake of his heart (he also thinks it's cute).

#xiaojun

gets shy about pda but does it nevertheless. what can he say? he's whipped for you and he couldn't go an hour without a peck on your head, at the very least, and if someone happens to be in the same room at the time, then that's what the universe must have wanted. he's really just slightly less clingy in public than he is in private, and maybe will limit the amount of kisses according to who's there with you, but won't really complain about anything you initiate. will he blush all the way to the tips of his ears if anyone comments on his display of affection? yes. is he going to do it again in the span of the next thirty minutes? also yes. is he going to get over the shyness anytime soon? probably not.

#hendery

no amount of eyes can stop hendery from showering you with all the kisses and touches you deserve. he loves you and he's not afraid to show it - more than that, he might even get a slight ego boost from a stare or a teasing comment (to which he will respond with something along the lines of him being able to pull someone like you and make you embarrassed instead). he lives by the rule that if he can see you, he should be able to touch you and will sulk if you sit too far away for his liking. got past the stage where the members would tease him for pecking your lips by throwing shade back at them and now wouldn't even flinch if they walked into the room right into your make out session (which may or may not have happened).

#yangyang

he doesn't mind pda, but most of the time won't initiate it either. he's fine with more casual things like holding hands, hugging, or an occasional kiss on the cheek if that's something you're into, but he will get embarrassed and slightly uncomfortable if you do anything more without a warning, espacially in front of a bigger group of people. he has pretty strict boundaries in this matter but he's more than happy to communicate them to you and make sure he's aware of your own, as well as make sure that you don't feel pushed away. yangyang's also not a fan of showing affection in front of his members. he'll throw an arm around your shoulders when you're all watching a movie together if you've already been together for a while, but that's about it. you'll get all the cuddles and kisses in the world when you head to bed for the night though.

#taglist ➼♡ @0-hoony @suzayaaa

©xdjville

[duhragonball]

End of Evangelion: 25'

Yeah... that's...

"You don't understand!" is pretty much Neon Genesis Evangelion in a nutshell.

Or "You do (not) understand! (true²) Director's Cut" is how the franchise would put it.

Let's just get on with this.

I watched End of Evangelion last night. Well, early A.M. I took a nap and woke up at midnight and it seemed like the right time to watch a thing like this.

I did not enjoy the movie. I'll explain this, of course, but I wanted to get that out of the way up front. There are positives, sure, but I went into this thing hoping for a more satisfying conclusion than what was presented in the TV show, and I didn't get it. Both endings suck. There you go.

Let me back up a bit. So the TV series ran from 1995 to 1996. The final episodes, 25 and 26, were controversial because they were expected to wrap up the whole story, but instead they went in a bizarrely abstract direction. Both of those episodes apparently take place inside Shinji Ikari's mind as he struggles to accept being part of a collective gestalt of every human mind on Earth. This is the result of the "Human Instrumentality Project" a concept mentioned in Episodes 1 -24, but never adequately explained. The final episodes just skip past the part where Human Instrumentality was achieved and shows the result, without bothering to discuss the background or the cause, or the long-term ramifications.

From what I gather, the main reason Episodes 25 and 26 were Like That was because the studio was short on time and money, so a more satisfying conclusion was not practical. But since the series turned out to be so successful, they were able to take another crack at it with End of Evangelion. The film is very clear about its purpose as an "alternative" to Episodes 25 and 26. It's divided into two sections, numbered 25' and 26'.

I'm not sure the viewer is expected to pick one over the other. The original 25&26 take place in Shinji's mind when Human Instrumentality happens. 25' and 26' take place in the outside world, showing the events leading to Human Instrumentality and the aftermath. There may be some continuity issues to iron out, but a fan could easily accept both endings as canon.

That's not my problem here. The problem is not that there are multiple endings, or that the endings are too "abstract", or that the endings aren't "happy". Fundamentally, my gripe is that the endings are confusing. Perhaps it might be said that the endings are pathologically confusing.

I think this is one of those Big, Emotionally Raw Works, where you can't really discuss it without revealing something about yourself in the process. So let's do that. End of Evangelion makes me feel stupid. There's parts of the movie where I'm just completely confused and I have no idea what is happening or why. It feels less like entertainment and more like I'm about to take a test I didn't study for.

Except I did study, because I've literally been taking notes on this thing for the past three weeks. I was looking forward to this, and last night I'm near the end of the movie wondering what the hell I'm going to write here, because I don't understand what the hell happened in the movie.

So I poked around a fan wiki for a bit, trying to get a handle on some of the major concepts, and as I read the articles, I realized that a lot of this information just stone cold never made it into the TV show or the movie. There was one thing I looked up that had to reference a Playstation 2 game that released six years after the movie premiered.

It's not that I'm too stupid to understand Neon Genesis Evangelion. It's that the franchise appears deliberately designed to hide information from the viewer. You're just supposed to roll with it, I guess. Or spend days researching all this side material. Read the manga, read the wiki, read fan commentaries. I hate this. I hate this so much.

So maybe I'm not stupid. Maybe the anime was just badly designed. That would be comforting, except I still feel stupid for investing so much time into trying to understand this thing that seems purposely rigged to defy understanding. It's not just the ending. That's what everyone talks about, but the ending is just a symptom of a bigger problem. The beginning is really slow. Then the middle starts to get weird, and there's a lot of mysteries and subplots and lore that gets set up with the implied promise that "we'll explain later". And the ending(s) drop that ball. The surgery was a success, but the patient died.

I feel stupid because I got a reply to one of my liveblog posts, I think Episode 12, in response to some comment I made about all the characters having the same backstory. Ritsuko has a complicated relationship with her workaholic scientist mother. Misato has a complicated relationship with her workaholic scientist father. Shinji has a complicated relationship with his workaholic scientist father. Is that a theme or did they only have one idea? My point is that eventually it stops being clever and starts being redundant. Later, we learn that Asuka has... a complicated relationship with her workaholic scientist mother.

"What, are you stupid?" asked the reply guy to my wry observation. They deleted it a few minutes after I saw it, so maybe they felt some remorse over the comment. Normally, I let these things slide. I might respond if I get legitimately hot about it. But this one got to me. "Am I stupid?" I asked myself last week. I seem to be complaining a lot about this show, but it's supposed to be a classic. Am I not giving it a chance? Am I missing something here? Am I just not smart enough to appreciate this thing? Am I just not trying hard enough?

If you're reading this, Reply Guy, please know that I didn't take it personally. I'm not upset with you at all, but I am trying to be honest with myself about this. This Neon Genesis Evangelion business has been frustrating me all month long. Now I'm at the end and it all feels very hollow, like I wasted my time.

I think that's my philosophy on life. I try to seek out new things to explore, usually stories, and sometimes they don't work out the way I wanted them to, and that's okay, because it's the journey that counts. Shinji Ikari keeps shutting down throughout his story, asking why he should bother doing anything, because he's too terrified of the possible outcomes of his actions. My thing is that bad stuff happens all the time no matter what, and you just sort of have to recover and move forward, because that's the only way to see what happens next. So I'm not sure if I can relate to Shinji or not.

Anyway, let's talk about Shinji masturbating in a hospital room over Asuka's comatose body.

I had heard about this scene, but I didn't realize how long and pathetic it is. Asuka had a nervous breakdown in Episode 23. This movie has to follow up on that, becuase Episodes 24, 25, and 26 each refused to pick up on her character arc.

Meanwhile, Shinji is wracked with guilt and dread over his battle with the 17th Angel in Episode 24. He had to kill Kaworu, but in spite of Kaworu's betrayal, he was still a friend to Shinji when he needed it the most, and he was such a good sport about getting killed, you know?

So this movie has to get us back to that moment, when Shinji and Asuka are at their lowest ebb, and I guess they decided that Shinji should go see her in the hospital because he's desperate to talk to someone about what's he's been going through. But Asuka's unresponsive, so he starts shaking her like he's trying to wake her up. Instead she just rolls over, which somehow exposes her half-naked body, and Shinji is so overcome with lust that he rubs one out right there and then. Doesn't even get a Kleenex, doesn't find a place to sit, he just whips it out and goes to town right in front of her.

I guess this is supposed to be a joke, but it doesn't land. It's not even a matter of the joke not aging well. Yeah, this is a 27 year old movie, but Shinji admits this is terrible behavior almost immediately. The "joke" didn't age at all. It was stillborn. This is like when you go to a graveyard and you see one of the tiny graves and the dates are from the same year. That's how funny this is.

The most charitable reading I can give this scene is that it represents the hypocrisy of Shinji's whole deal. He constantly insists that he can only do as he's told, because he's afraid of people not liking him if he makes a mistake or thinks for himself. But here he's doing some pretty disgraceful shit, and I sure as fuck didn't tell him to do this. did you? Did anyone? Of course not. He goes limp for most of the rest of the movie, but not here. Nossir. Seems pretty sure of himself in the minute or so it took him to finish his business.

The other aspect of Shinji on display here is that his ideal social interactions are one-sided. He's most comfortable with people when they can't see what he's doing, when they can't touch him back. That's why he wished for isolation in Episode 25. Here, with Asuka unresponsive, he's basically got the same thing.

I suppose the flip side of this is when Asuka kissed Shinji in the TV series. Her hangups are kind of the opposite of his, where she wants to be in charge of everything and everyone constantly showers her with praise for her achievements. She wants to kiss Shinji but she can't be vulnerable enough to admit that, so she orders him to just stand there and be kissed because she wants to "pass the time". And she makes him hold his nose shut because she doesn't want to be breathed on while she does it. I mean, they both have intimacy issues, but at least Shinji had a chance to consent to her weirdness.

In the NERV base, the crew wonder why they're still on alert status, since the last Angel was defeated. There should be no more threats, and it kind of makes sense for NERV to be disbanded. The only business left is the Human Instrumentality Project, and none of these ham-and-eggers know what that is.

But Misato has some information about it, which she mulls over while she's in her car. I guess? Let me explain this in more detail, because the movie never totally gets into the "why" of it all.

Okay, so the SEELE group has access to something called the "Dead Sea Scrolls". According to the NGE wiki, SEELE got it from the two angels that came to Earth, Adam and Lilith, in the distant past. SEELE has used the information contained in the scrolls to establish themselves as the secret rulers of the whole world. And they founded NERV, and its predecessor organizations, to study the Angels and figure out how to preserve the human race.

They talk a lot about Second Impact on this show, but they never explain exactly what caused it. Second Impact was not a meteorite strike or a rampaging angel who self-destructed, or even a lab accident. It was caused deliberately by SEELE, as part of an effort to contain Adam, who lay dormant in Antarctica.

If I understand correctly, this was necessary because at some point, Second Impact would occur anyway, and then Adam's children, the fifteen Angels we saw in the TV series, would come looking for Adam's body and unite with it, triggering a Third Impact that would definitely wipe out humanity. This is all supposedly explained in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

So SEELE's play was to trigger Second Impact deliberately, so that they could confront the Angels on their own terms. This gave NERV time to develop the Evas to fight the Angels, and to shrink Adam down to a more manageable size so he'd be harder to find.

Once the Angels were all defeated, SEELE could then trigger Third Impact. See, the TV series made it seem like the objective was to prevent Third Impact, but that was never possible. Third Impact is inevitable, I guess, so the only way to ensure humanity's survival is to evolve humans into something that can withstand the disaster. Thus, the Human Instrumentality Project, which will combine all human minds into some sort of disembodied superorganism at the moment of Third Impact.

However, throughout the TV series, SEELE has butted heads with the NERV Director, Gendo Ikari, about how this plan is to be implemented. Gendo wants to transform humanity into something new. But SEELE seems to want to retain their human nature and just use the plan as a lifeboat until the disaster has passed. At least, I think that's the disagreement here. Like I said, I had to learn about SEELE's agenda from the description of the PS2 game. It's not exactly a shock that the cabal of worldly oligarchs should want to save themselves and hold onto their wealth and power at the same time.

Gendo, on the other hand, seems mostly fixated on reuniting with his wife, Yui Ikari, who apparently died in 2004 during an experiment with Eva Unit 01. In the TV series, it was heavily implied that Yui lives on inside of Unit 01. Since Gendo's version of Human Instrumentality involves drawing up human minds into a noncorporeal union, I guess he figures that this will include Yui's mind, even if she has no body. It's unclear in this movie if Gendo actually intends to include anyone but himself and Yui in this merger, but in Episodes 25 and 26 of the TV show, Human Instrumentality is presented like it's all humans, even dead ones, and Gendo Ikari talked about it like that's what his version of Third Impact was supposed to be.

I suppose the only thing keeping Gendo and SEELE from turning on each other was the Angel threat, but now that this is over, SEELE attacks. First they try to hack NERV's supercomputers, but this is foiled when they recruit the aid of...

...Ritsuko Akagai, who betrayed NERV in Episode 23 when she destroyed all the Rei clones they had in storage. But she's the only one smart enough with computers to block the hack, so she crawls back inside one of them and uses her dead mother's notes to build a more robust firewall or something. I think she j-pegged a RAM or something, I don't know.

Ritsuko wonders why she's even bothering, since she already turned on Gendo. They had been banging on the down-low, but she got fed up with him when she realized he loved his dead wife more than Ritsuko or her mother, who also used to bang Gendo on the down-low.

With that cyberattack fended off, NERV now has to brace for an actual attack. Admiral Clownshoes notes the irony of NERV defeating all those Angels, only for their final opponent to be the humans they were trying to save.

Tactically, the entire battle is a formality. SEELE runs the whole world, and they can send wave after wave of soldiers into the NERV facility, which is already badly weakened after months of Angel attacks and budget cuts. NERV's defenses were designed for dealing with Angels, and their greatest weapons were the Evas, except Unit-00 was destroyed in Episode 22, and Unit-02's pilot has lost the ability to sync. Nonetheless, Misato wants the pilot kids secured, since she knows SEELE's goons will try to take them out first. She orders Shinji to deploy in Unit-01, and even though Asuka's in no condition to fight, she has her put in Unit-02 and then sent to the bottom of the lake. It's not much of a hiding place, but at least she'll be safer there than inside the base.

Where's Rei? Well, no one can find her, but she's gone down to the room where they keep Lilith and she's soaking in that orange goop they have down there.

Perhaps anticipating this, Gendo excuses himself and orders Clownshoes to take over the defense of the base. Clownshoes seems to know what he's up to, and sends his regards to Gendo's dead wife.

At this point, it's basically a race to see who can trigger their version of Third Impact first. SEELE wanted to use the Lance of Longinus and Lilith somehow, but since the Lance is in space now, they now plan to use Unit-01, the only Eva created from Lilith. That's what makes it special, apparently. Units 00 and 02 were made from Adam, I guess?

Anyway, Gendo plans to do it by combining Adam and Lillith together. He's got Adam's body within his own, and he wants to join with Rei, who contains some essence of Lillith. This was Rei's main purpose all along, I think.

Meanwhile, Misato leaves her post to find Shinji, who was sulking in some corner instead of reporting to his Eva like she ordered. She saves him from some goons, but they're cut off from Unit-01, so she has to find a way to get him where he needs to go. She also has to convince him to cooperate, since Shinji's completely gone to mush in the midst of this new crisis.

As she drives him to where they need to go, she explains (most of) the necessary backstory to him. Second Impact was triggered deliberately to buy time for Human Instrumentality, and humans are descended from Lilith, just as the Angels came from Adam. So in that sence, the human species is collectively the 18th Angel, just another candidate to inherit the future of Earth. Humans, like any of the fifteen Angels spawned from Adam, have the opportunity to trigger Third Impact and secure their place as the dominant life form of Earth, but we had to beat all the Angels first to do it, and then find a way to survive Third Impact when it finally happened.

And while Gendo plans to do with with Adam and Lilith, SEELE wants to use the Eva series, somehow, so it's vital that Shinji use Unit-01 to destroy all the other Evas.

Speaking of destroying Evas, Asuka finally wakes up in Unit-02, which is currently getting battered with depth charges. She still can't control the Eva, and she just keeps whimpering that she doesn't want to die. Eventually, she hears her dead mother promising to protect Asuka, and she realizes the truth: that Asuka's mother, Kyoko Zeppelin, was absorbed into Unit-02, much the same way Shinji's mom was absorbed into Unit-01.

Now, at long last, Asuka can operate her Eva again, and she goes apeshit on the SEELE troops. They sever her power cable, but she doesn't care, boasting that five minutes is plenty of time to take out these creeps. This is honestly the best part of the movie, because they had reduced Asuka to a pitiful shell for so long, and now she's finally taking charge and whoopin' ass.

It won't last.

With the conventional forces beaten, SEELE sends in nine Eva Units of their own. These are units 05 through 13, but they all look the same, and I'm not even sure they have pilots. It's a pretty cool design for a "bad guy" Eva, but they don't figure into the plot very much. They're here to destroy Asuka and Unit-02, and Asuka has to destroy them to stop SEELE.

Meanwhile, Misato has almost gotten Shinji to the Unit-01 launch bay, but she got shot, so she tells Shinji he's on his own from here. Shinji continues to resist taking any responsibility here. He says he's not worthy to pilot the Eva because he hurts people. He killed Kaworu, and he "did something terrible to Asuka". So at least the movie recognizes that. I guess it was included just to show the audience that Shinji isn't exaggerating when he doubts himself like this.

Misato refuses to indulge his self-pity, and she doesn't care how much he cries or tries to use his past actions to disqualify himself. She tells him she's made plenty of her own mistakes, but she still learned something about herself anyway. Hey, I guess Misato kind of gets what I was saying earlier. I guess this makes her my favorite character?

Well, yeah, but I don't like how she gives him a long kiss goodbye, then promises they'll "do the rest" when he gets back. I mean, she dies immediately after he leaves, so I think she was just feeding him empty gestures to motivate him while she still could, but... that's kind of fucked up.

Meanwhile, Gendo and Rei reach the room where Lillith is to begin their attempt at Third Impact, but they find Ritsuko waiting for them. She pulls a gun on Gendo and tells him that she sabotaged the supercomputer while she was reprogramming it to stop SEELE's hackers. Except... when she tries to execute her plan, the computer doesn't do it. This is because it's been imprinted with the mind of its original creator, Ritsuko's mother, and apparently mom still carries a torch for Gendo, even after Gendo screwed both Akagis over. Gendo then pulls a gun on Ritsuko, and says "I truly..." but the sound cuts out as he says the rest of it, so we don't know what he wanted to tell her.

In any case, she calls him a liar after she hears it, so either he told her he loved her and she didn't buy it, or he said something really cruel and she knew he didn't mean it. Either way, Gendo shoots, her which normally would suggest his true feelings, except I think this Human Instrumentality business works on dead people too, so life and death kind of becomes meaningless in this movie. We see a ghostly apparition of Rei as Ritsuko falls into the LCL fluid. We also saw ghost Rei when Misato died, so this seems to be a thing now.

Meanwhile, Shinji makes it to Unit 01, but it's immersed in Bakelite, which Misato had ordered dispersed through the base to impede the invading goons. I'm not sure how it got here, though, unless the bad guys used Misato's own trick to secure Unit-01. So it looks like Shinji can't get in the robot, even though it's not a robot, and he doesn't even have to be inside the stupid thing to control it. He literally proved that on his first day on the job. Yo, Shinji, get in the robot, your mom loves you.

Meanwhile, Asuka seems to be doing just fine killing the bad guy Evas without Shinji, but just as she finishes the last of them off, the Lance of Longinus suddenly flies back to Earth and improbably stabs Unit 02 through the face. Uh... how? Why? What the fuck?

Also, all the Evas Asuka defeated suddenly reactivate. With her battery drained, Asuka is helpless to stop them as they crack open Unit-02 and eat it. I'm pretty sure Asuka herself is killed during this, but we don't see a body.

I guess this was the catalyst to get Unit 01 off its duff, as it finally breaks out of the Bakelite and grabs Shinji like it's gonna put him in. Unit 01 busts out to join the battle, and it's thig big impressive spectacle. It even has angel wings now.

But it doesn't actually do anything. Shinji just gets a look at what's left of Unit-02's mangled corpse and screams.

And that's the cliffhanger for 25'. There's a credits sequence, then a dedication note from the director, and then the second half starts as Episode 26'. So this is a good place to take a break.

If you're curious, the part where Eva 05-13 show up to confront Asuka is about where things ended in "Evangelion: Rebirth". But 25' is about twenty minutes longer than that, so I'm not sure what the significance of that cutoff point was supposed to be. I guess it works as a cliffhanger, but it's kind of dumb to have Asuka finally wake up and kick ass, only to get utterly destroyed a few minutes later. Then Shinji shows up to set up the real cliffhanger.

To be fair, this half of the movie is better than the second half. Mostly, it benefits from the parts where they actually show the characters recovering from Episode 24 and beginning to move to the next phase of the story. This was what the TV show failed to do with its Episode 25. Now, we get to see the SEELE vs. NERV battle that was only implied before, and we get to see how Human Instrumentality is arranged.

We also see why it needs to be done. In the original ending, it seemed completely arbitrary, like Gendo Ikari just decided this was a cool thing to try and he just did it to the whole world without asking anyone's permission. Here, it becomes clear that if Gendo doesn't pull the trigger, SEELE will, and it's just a race to see who can get their vision accomplished first.

And we actually get to see the other characters in this version. Asuka wakes up and gets her groove back, Rei's part in the drama is revealed, and Ritsuko and Misato get shot. Seeing this stuff makes me even more irritated that the TV series just jumped right past it all.

Still, this half of the movie has problems. For one thing, a lot of runtime is spent just showing troops slaughtering NERV personnel, and showing Misato leading Shinji to his Eva. Also, there's a healthy dose of Gendo and Rei just staring pensively at Lilith without actually doing anything. A lot of the footage doesn't actually progress the plot, and only Misato and Shinji's scenes are useful for providing exposition. Gendo and SEELE's words are too cryptic to be of much use.

The main point of this installment was to reinforce things we already knew: Rei's important to all of this somehow, Shinji is a sad sack, and Asuka is helpless. And maybe it needed to be reinforced in July 1997, more than a year after the TV show ended, but I don't think it needed to be hammered home this much.

And like I said from the start, this whole thing relies on a lot of ridiculous stuff that I feel like I should have been told about in the TV series. How did the Lance of Longinus come back? SEELE couldn't have arranged this, since they were the ones who were so upset about losing it in the first place. Why are there two methods to trigger Third Impact? How did Asuka's mother get sucked into the Eva and yet she remained in human form long enough to go insane and hang herself? Why did the bad guy Evas suddenly recover from their injuries when it was convenient for the plot?

Perhaps most critically: Why are they just treating Third Impact and Human Instrumentality like the same thing? Like if you do one, then the other one just automatically happens? Is that how it works? Then why were they so worried about the progress on that project? It could be done at will, right?

Oh, and how did SEELE figure out how to do all this stuff? They have their own fleet of Evas, which seem to work better than NERV's. They made their own Angel in the form of Kaworu. They seem to know how to make Third Impact happen, without Gendo's help. And however they got this far, they seemed to pull it off without anyone from NERV knowing about it. So why did SEELE even need NERV in the first place? As it currently stands, the only reason Gendo's ahead of them is because he's physically closer to what he needs to work with. SEELE could have nuked the base from orbit and hauled Eva Unit 01 from the wreckage.

Again, the whole movie just makes me feel like I missed an episode, except I didn't. I watched the whole thing, which leads me to assume that the next chapter will clarify everything, except it doesn't, as we'll see next time. See you there.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Why do you think the writers give Adrien's role to Alya and Félix instead of let him doing it himself?

Also

Do you think there will be a consequences for Marinette choosing Alya as her partner? Since y'know Alya's identity is already revealed and Lila who steal Gabriel's data about miraculous most likely know her identity.

Sorry for my bad English!

Your English is fine! As for your questions...

My best guess is that Adrien's downgrade occurred for one of two reasons:

They didn't want to deal with the fallout of Adrien learning Gabriel's identity as that's a pretty freaking serious thing to try to handle. Every time I write a Gabriel reveal, the Adrien element is the hardest part to get right. I don't think I could do it if you made me fit it into 20 minutes and those 20 minutes also had to contain a cool fight to entertain the kids.

It's near impossible to involve Adrien in the parts of the plot that Alya and Félix get without leading to a love square identity reveal and this show is not going to let that reveal happen until they're dead certain that the show is ending.

Since the writers have straight up admitted the Adrien was never going to be at the final fight because they wanted BugNoir to happen, my guess is that it's more option 1 than option 2, but it could also be a combination of the two. Hard to say without insider knowledge.

As for the Alya thing, no, I don't think that's going to have any sort of negative consequences. After all, Alya's identity was revealed to Gabriel three times (Rena Rouge, Rena Furtive, and Scarabella) and he never once stopped to say, "Huh, maybe I should look into Alya's friends a little more or threaten her family again?" I believe that the show's head writer has straight up said that Gabriel wouldn't try a plan more than once because "he already knew it wouldn't work" or some similar confusing nonsense logic that may honestly have been a language gap thing since, "we don't want to repeat plots" is a reasonable stance even if it makes your villain look rather unintelligent.

Language barrier or not, this means that it's highly unlikely that Lila will be allowed to do the same things Gabriel already tried. We also don't know what knowledge she has. Like I call serious bullshit on her knowing that Adrien is a sentimonsters based on Nathalie just sending her a picture of Emilie and one of the Agreste's rings because why would Lila know that broken miraculous make people sick? Like there are a lot of mental leaps you have to make and a lot of additional knowledge you need to have to go from those pictures to the actual facts.

Then again, Lila learned Gabriel's secret identity by reading Nathalie's lips so who knows what BS the show will claim she knows next. Her writing is aggravating to the point when I'm not planning to watch season six because she's the main villain. The most I'll do is put it on in the background once it's all dubbed and streaming.

[adviceformefromme]

Sis, please tell me, how do I LISTEN?

It’s not that I can’t HEAR, I can feel it, it’s just that I’m not LISTENING.

How? How do I listen to my Body? How do I listen to GOD? How do I listen to my spirit, to life, to the experiences and lessons that come for me? I keep ending up in the same situations over and over again: broke & unemployed, angry and short tempered, desperate, lonely and self-isolating; overwhelmed with all the negative and all I WANT to be doing that I shut down and turn everything off and close my mind and my heart to everything and everyone.

I lost my brother 4 years ago, the love of my life, my best friend & cheerleader, virtually my dad, as I didn’t grow up with mine. I couldn’t handle it, I’ve never experienced loss like this. I turned it all off and threw my spirit, along with my hopes, dreams, will to live and self worth into a box and down into a Black Sea of grief and heartbreak 💔 Now, I can’t find that box anymore…I can HEAR it screaming to me, but I’m not listening close enough to find it. What do I do?

Hey Sweetie, sorry to hear of your pain! I can relate as I lost my brother suddenly over 7 years ago and we were sooo close. It was pain I had never experienced. As for closing off and shutting down, this was also my coping mechanism. The main thing is, is that everything you write is totally possible to overcome. I'll put some tips below, take what you need and DM me if you need more support xoxox

The broken record, the keep making the same mistake pains. Spend some time analysing these. Where was the window that you could of made a change? For example. If in relationships you loose your temper when a guy doesn't message back. Where is the window in that process for change? Bring light to it. Is it learning to say no to men who show you early on that they are crappy with messaging? Is it not sleeping with them too soon so you can see their true colours? Really observe the cycle. And drill down on where you can see your set back. Once you can see the pattern and the behaviour keeping you stuck. You can move into prevention. If X happens, I will now do X. Keep reminding yourself of this. Keep reminding yourself of your new behaviour.. Daily, even outside of the situation, keep reminding yourself if X happens I will now do X. And this is the PRE step , this is making the change before you end up in the gutter. This is your preventative action. When you feel ready ask God for a test. He WILL deliver.

Stop breaking your own promises. Learn to build trust with yourself. Start small, this is how you build self respect, and move forward. This really affects your whole being. If you say you are going to make your bed start making it. Start small and build some trust inside, this is how you gently start listening to yourself, and responding. Once that trust is there and you become that person to yourself that you can rely on you can move to bigger goals.

Have an outlet to process your emotions. Create space to cry and feel if you are someone who does not have ability to do this day to day. Carve out some you time for reflection. I struggled to cry when I was grieving as a child I was not allowed to show emotion with my abuser, so during my grief my emotions became so clogged up. I would have to carve out time to FEEL. Sometimes it was journalling, but movies allow me to feel so i would sit with a box of tissues sobbing my heart out to any random movie. Do what you need to give yourself space and freedom to process and feel.

Get a therapist if possible, if not lean on youtube, podcasts, books. There are so many amazing books, I recommend Marianne Williams - Return to Love. This is a great book for healing and references to God.

Find a community, you need a support system. Through Church, through new hobbies, through existing friends let them know what you are going through and let them know what you need from them. Maybe you just need your best friend to listen instead of doing xyz, let them know. Part of asking for help is knowing what your needs are. What are your needs for yourself? What do you need right now? What do you need from you ?

Become DEVOTED to your self - care and self - love. This should be your first and foremost priority. Healing from deep wounds of loss requires extra love and care for you, so let this be your main priority.

Cleanse your life of all the pollution. See yourself as the ocean, keep your ocean clean. What music is polluting your ocean? What people are toxic to your waters? What actions are you taking that harming your beautiful seas? Take inventory and start making adjustments. Remember, the ego will be overwhelmed if you go hard on all these changes. Imagine a swinging pendulum. Going too far to one side will only mean swinging to far to the opposite side. With the above, try to find some middle ground when introducing new habits. Be kind to yourself, and keep a check of your inner voice. Are you living in an internal war zone? Imagine yourself as a small child, how would you treat her? Love her? Care for her? Wash her? Feed her?

[minevn]

(I'm sorry for the mistakes) Are you okay? Sorry to intrude, but I hope your mental/physical state is ok and you are taking good care of yourself! (^-^*)/

Hi! It's okay, thank you for asking! I typically like to do asks in order, but I thought this would be a good ask to kind of get things out there and talk about what's been going on with me and Mine!

As for if I'm okay, I don't really know. I can't say I'm okay but I know that it could be a lot worse(because I've felt way lower then this before) I'm not really sure how to take care of myself other then repressing things but I am seeing a therapist and we've been talking about how to handle my emotions as they come. I do wish that I was able to see a therapist before my repressive coping habits took over but due to circumstances I'll get into later I just wasn't able to.

As for Mine stuff, I am still very slowly but surely working on my asks. I do have a few done but once again I like to answer my asks in order. Last night I thought it would also be smarter to do my asks backwards from how I've received them so that way I could just que them all up instead of writing the first ask I got and then lacking motivation and ideas for the later asks. I guess rn I'm going through a bit of writers block? I think it's that mixed with my extreme lack of motivation. As for my event, I have thought about lowering the number and then raising the numbers again for a later milestone! I tend to always put a lot on my plate and 50 requests may have been a bit more then what I could handle as of now. Another thing as well is that even though I love drawing, I don't draw super often. I get hit with random waves of motivation and it's very easy for me to lose that motivation. So I have the sketches mostly done for the drawing requests I've gotten, but if I have no motivation to draw then the drawings turn out looking wonky and just all wrong and then I'm no longer proud of them. I still plan on doing the events and I'm so sorry that my lack of motivation happened like as soon as I hit 100 followers, It doesn't feel fair to you all but I seriously cannot thank you enough for your continued support. Everyone has been so nice and no one has come into my dms rushing me with anything, seriously thank you all so much for that! Another thing as well is that Mine is not my only story, if you follow my main account I have most of my stories listed there and there's like over 50 stories. it's like that because I have so many ideas but once again I lose motivation so easily, and as mentioned earlier I like to put a lot on my plate, I don't like to just work on one story at a time and it causes me to get burnout which I'm sadly going through with Mine. I was answering asks nonstop when I got them, getting asks motivated me to get up out of bed, I was so happy and overjoyed to get asks, and don't get me wrong I still am! I love getting asks and seeing what ideas you want me to write for, although I was also overwhelmed at first, I had gotten so much support which I hadn't expected to ever. I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to like my stuff but I was ready to still work on Mine because I work for ME. But I wasn't happy with how the sprites were turning out, I wasn't getting inspiration for any music soundtracks, and I'm struggling on the script, I've got Minato's week planned mostly but it just feels so BORING! He's the first route, it needs to drag you in a bit more. So far there's been like no yandere tendencies which sure maybe that fits for Minato, but I'm just not proud of it at all so I need to rewrite Minato's week planning. The more I wrote asks the more I felt disconnected to these characters, it felt like I wasn't writing them like I was before, which I tried telling myself that it was fine because when I first made this blog Mine hadn't even been in the process for a year and I thought we could go through developing these characters together, but it just didn't feel right. I also started to dislike their designs. I felt that I had designed more interesting characters before and they just felt so boring, I like their hair and faces, mainly clothes design is where it felt lacking. Jun, Aki, and Yani have the designs I like the best honestly, their clothes feel more intricate.

Anyways yeah that's me and what's been happening, sorry for the long post and venting. I'm still working on asks when I find the motivation to and I did make some progress on them a day or two ago. I hope I can get out of this slump and come back better then ever. Once again thank you all for being patient with me and for supporting me still! I love you all!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I'm going to go a bit more in depth with things, sorry for the long post! You don't have to read what below if you don't want to, it mostly explains more of what's been happening with me, but I've also touched on a lot of my reasons for not posting above! Honestly I lot of it is venting, so please don't read if you're struggling with any below!

TW FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEATH, ABUSE(?), MENTAL ILLNESSES

So a couple years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I didn't really understand it, like it didn't feel like it's affected me that much but I've learned a lot more about it and can definitely see in which ways it has impacted me. When I started Mine I wasn't exactly in a high state of Mine but getting asks and seeing people like my work for once in my life really raised my moods, but I really struggle with staying happy. No matter how much I want happiness to stay, it always leaves. Right now I'm going through one of my lows. Honestly, I typically ignore my lows the best I can, It sometimes work and sometimes it doesn't, this is one of the times where I can't repress my feelings, and as mentioned earlier I do think a part of it is because I've been talking to my therapist about embracing the negative feeling, admit that I'm not happy and work through it instead of hiding it. Not that I blame my therapist, I'm really hoping that it works and I'm choosing to listen to my therapist because I want to get better, honestly I could've ignored everything she told me and kept repressing my feelings but I want to be happy so I'm really trying to embrace the fact that I'm not okay and work through it! I don't know how long this low will last, but when I get out of this low I want to work on Mine and get the same excited and happy feelings I had when I first started. Mine might go through some changes but overall I want these characters to have the same personalities and backstories, the only thing that might change with them is their clothes.

Along with my bipolar disorder, I've been diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features, anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. Needless to say these all impact me greatly. The lack of motivation, struggling to get up out of bed or go to sleep at a normal time, and even eating and drinking and going to the bathroom. I've always found it easier to take care of others rather then myself because that's just how I was raised. To always put others above myself. As I've gotten older I realized that that's not how that should work, but it was already pushed into my brain and I still struggle to take care of myself. I'm always stressed, can't sleep right and I can't wake up before 5pm. Sometimes I'll sit in one spot, fidgeting while I wait for some motivation to strike. But I can't even think because of course when I think my mind never goes to good things. Thoughts about just wanting to give up(Which don't worry too much, I won't do it, even if the thoughts get to be too much), my repressed memories coming back, mom and her death and neglect before dying, dad and his temper tantrums, my grandma and how she's one of the only people in my life to care and love me, and how I wish I could talk to others easily but of course my mind gets fuzzy and I can't speak and how almost all of my friends have left me, how I feel defective and unlovable. The thoughts don't stop, every time it just gets worse and worse and I can't stop questioning what I did wrong and why no one wants to be my friend. People just use you and then toss you out when they're done and it's so cruel, I want someone who actually wants me in their life and who values me as much as I value them, someone who treats me like a person with actual feelings rather then a robot or an object. But it's so hard to find people like that, as I said there's a lot of cruel people out there and to those who aren't cruel I have a hard time trusting them due to past experiences and I know it's not fair to those kind people but gosh being vulnerable is so hard. And I know it's really early to question if I'll ever meet anyone I can trust 100% because I'm only 18 but gosh do I know about death, I know that death doesn't care about your age. I could die later tonight or sometime this week or next month or maybe I do die in many years, but then what about the people I meet and value, will they be taken away from me as well? Do I want to put my heart on the line just to end up losing them eventually? Could I handle another death? I don't know? I really don't, It already hurts to think about losing my sister and my bestest friend in the entire world, I'm already so lucky to have them in my life, what if I lose them too?

I'm going to start getting into things that I didn't get into earlier this post. I put it down here because it might be triggering and I didn't want anything too sensitive to be at the beginning, I want people to be able to skip this stuff for their own mental health. As mentioned earlier I wasn't able to get therapy for a bit because I didn't have a legal guardian. My mother passed when I was 11 and I've never met my biological dad. My sister I mentioned earlier is my half-sister(I call her sister cause it's easier and no matter what she's still my sister) and her dad took me in very shortly after my mother had passed(I won't be calling him my stepdad, once again because it's easier to just say dad and no matter what he's still my dad, no matter what grudges I have against him) Anyways I didn't have a legal guardian for 6 years, finally getting adopted in January. I had no insurance as well(Btw I don't blame my dad for any of this, he kept getting scammed by the shitty lawyer. So yeah I couldn't get therapy and well I learned how to repress my feelings because of my dad, because y'know he can throw tantrums and be angry and cry all he wants but god forbid someone else is angry or sad. Looking back at it though, mom played a part as well, she just neglected me and didn't give a shit and I learned that no one cares about me.

On a lighter note because gosh I need it. I don't plan on going until I get out all or most of my stories! But my stories have a lot of morbid themes and concepts. One because me too, but I still think it's important to touch on things I haven't been through because others might have and it's a morbid world. I want those people who feel alone in this world to feel seen and heard. Abuse does happen, death happens, suicide is very real, hate crimes happen every day and yet I feel people don't talk about it as much as they should. Like sure the topic will blow up, but after like a couple weeks or months, boom it's forgotten and that's just...wrong. I plan on making it very clear that the topics I write about in my stories are not meant to idolize or romanticize these topics or to make jokes at them, it's just that messed up things do happen. I know how it feels to be and feel alone, like no one will ever understand what you've been through, and I want my stories to be some kind of comfort for those people. I'll put clear disclaimers and tw's on my games and stories so those who don't want to witness that stuff can avoid it. I understand that as well! Like yeah the world is messed up but I already go through that and I don't want to see it in media and stuff, I've definitely been there too. I think I want my games to encourage people who might be struggling to not give up though! You see these characters go through something tough but they're still alive and they get there happy ending(Though not all of my stories have happy endings)

Anyways yeah that's me and what's been happening, sorry for the long post and venting. I'm still working on asks when I find the motivation to and I did make some progress on them a day or two ago. I hope I can get out of this slump and come back better then ever. If any of you are struggling with anything mentioned above, I hope you're able to get help, please don't give up, you're important! Once again thank you all for being patient with me and for supporting me still! I love you all!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[penrose-quinn]

Hiii Pen, dear. I just saw your thoughts on Tokyo Vice and omg yess, it's sooo goood, Hayama was a real piece of shit and the way Sato handled him was stellar, from his restraint to his patience to do it in the right moment, and the fact that he bowed to the Chihara-kai insignia instead of Hayama, mad respect and it showed how deserving he was to become their leader at the end. As for Tozawa, you're right, another piece of shit, but he was a piece of shit with a VISION and very smart, which made him such a incredible villain, but he really sucked with the way he handled his inner circle, specially his wife, and this was his biggest mistake because if he treated the women in his life and other people better, they would have all rallied for him like Samantha and Gen did for Sato and he would have lived, and his wife ended up being one who ultimately gave his death sentence. Yeah, the Yakuza it's still pretty much alive and kicking, maybe not operating in the same way as before, but they're still the main driving force of the Japanese underworld, and there's also so many other criminal cases that happened the writers could explore, I hope we have a s3 🥺

Hi Nonnie!!

So, so sorry it took awhile for me to reply, but I was so ecstatic reading your ask! I've been dying to talk abt Tokyo Vice s2 bc goddamn it deserves its laurels for being a phenomenal show.

(spoilers under the tag)

I wasn't expecting Sato's arc to head the way it did, but I agree and the writing for him was great! I also love how we start in the first ep of s1 with him watching the yakuza ceremony as a member of Chihara-kai to the last ep of s2 in another ceremony being appointed as the next Oyabun. Felt like a milestone. Also special shoutout to my boy Gen. I hated him like Hayama in s1 but his character development? His loyalty?? Also he left the gang for Sato??? Omg ik he's just a side character, but I love how he's always been there for Sato this season 🥹.

RIGHT?? I really liked Tozawa as a villain! Istg his whole scheme was frankly both genius and terrifying. Imagine the yakuza going corporate and controlling the country's resources and economy, and by the extension the government. He'd been so formidable and elusive. His ambition matched his corrupted morality that it was fitting that he had caused his downfall in a way. Really should've not made an enemy of his wife, like she was even willing to set aside all their bad blood at some point but he had to fuck it up hdkdkd. Also love that for his wife too! Kazuko always came across to me as someone who had this dignified, subtle power to her and I'm a sucker for coldly reserved and intelligent female characters so I was glad she had a bigger role this season!

I'll put a disclaimer abt what I know from articles like the ones from Unseen Japan and Japan Times, but yeah, I'm glad you agree with me about that part! Although recent, it would be interesting for there to be an exploration of the hangure and tokuryu coming to be as a result of the weakening yakuza, post-disenfranchisement from the law. I believe Jake Adelstein has a book sequel for Tokyo Vice, Tokyo Noir, that explores some of those aspects. While a season 3 would be cool, I personally think season 2 is a fantastic final end to the series :')

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #115

Up late again last night having important conversations with J. My brain is having a really rough time of it.

Well, that's okay. I got a bunch of insecurities out in the open instead of holding them in and trying to deal with them by myself. My delivery of my thoughts was clumsy, and we were both very tired, and so naturally the result was that J and I were frustrated and frightened. Thankfully, both of us work hard to be people who do not take our fears or frustrations out on other people, so instead of shutting down or getting snarky with one another, we simply kept trying to work through the things until we came to a mutual understanding. That was good.

The main crux of the issue is that my brain is mean to me. I generally feel unworthy of being loved by others (or even of being alive, most of the time), so when expressions of love or praise come my way, it's hard for me to accept them without becoming uncomfortable and shying away. As such, my response to any kind of praise or recognition has set a precedent where it becomes hard for other people to give it, because I am doing everything I can to avoid or deflect it. I'm working on it, but I come from an environment where praise was rare, and if you DON'T deny it, then you leave yourself open to accusations of being full of yourself. So, it's going to take me a hot minute to get it together and learn. But that's okay. I have time, and I can learn difficult things, even when it's uncomfortable, and the health of my relationships depends on my ability to work on the issues within me that I've put on the back burner in favor of tending to literally anyone and anything else.

Br came over today in the morning, and she will stay overnight. I was able to go over my struggles with her as well. We talked over the tea we made together. I had the maple black tea, and she had the maple herbal tea. We both sweetened ours with maple sugar and heavy cream. Here's how mine turned out:

Here's how hers turned out:

Fortunately, she was able to respond much less defensively than J did, so I came away from the interaction feeling seen and understood. Ultimately, correcting the way my brain treats me is my responsibility and mine alone, but feeling as though I am understood and supported helps me to have the strength and courage I need in order to do the necessary work to change the way I look at myself.

J and M are working from home still, so Br and I went out on a date to the Galleria 7 place. As it turns out, the empanada place is gluten free by default! So I got lunch for her, lunch for me, and lunch to bring home to J, and M didn't want anything. I got tacos. They were awesome! And I got some horchata, too, and this was also good! I'll show you:

I brought with me my small tree orb; last time we were there, the lady who runs the trinket/empanada shop expressed an interest in selling my handicrafts. I didn't know how to price it though, so I asked for suggestions. So now my little orb is amongst the other trinkets, with a price tag of $20:

…I wonder if anyone will want it.

My other orb is still drying just a little. That one will be going to the other side of the planet very soon for a person who needs it. I hope it will serve him well.

I am trying to think of things to write to you. But I am very tired and my brain isn't doing the things properly. So I guess I'll end this one here.

Hey. In the future, Sephiroth. If you're struggling with doubt, pain, and insecurity, instead of bottling it up and spending a week in a terrible place trying to handle it yourself (and failing miserably, because humans are NOT built to handle things themselves, no matter what anyone tries to tell you), you gotta talk about it to the people around you, okay? Zack is maybe a little oblivious and silly, but he's good people - one of the best. Don't struggle alone. Please. I'm sure if you set down the weapons and promise not to fight, he'd try to listen to you and understand you. So give it a try, okay?

Because… if you don't turn yourself around, Sephiroth, you're gonna get erased. Please don't get erased. If I have to get on my hands and knees and beg you not to make choices that will get you erased, I will. So come on… I'm counting on you. I'm counting on you to make it. I'm counting on you to eventually be okay.

I'll write again tomorrow. I love you. Stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[enchanted-lightning-aes]

Prompt time 😌

Hwan and Tegan + cooking

Ahh, thank you for the request, Kly! I had fun writing this tidbit! This probably takes place off-screen.

However, just know this also includes some mentions of a misunderstanding. . . in a comical manner. :p

send me a prompt? for any oc, dynamic, fandom characters, concepts.

Word Count: 788

T.W/C.W: food since it's a main topic

***

Packets and containers sprawled over a row of counters. Consisting of spices, some ingredients, vegetables, and some grains.

Hwan opens a cupboard, taking a pressure cooker and pan out. She puts them on an empty spot near the sink.

"I didn't think you'd also show up here," Tegan says while her pulse insists on racing.

Hwan adjusts her glasses, her expression slightly vacant. "Um, my sister invited me over, so yeah. She'll be too tired to cook anything after work. And I'm here to prepare some for her."

Ah. Great. Tegan nods, darting her eyes onto the ceiling.

Somehow, Nijiko managed to roped Tegan into visiting her place. Via a text message. Only to learn that her sister, Hwan, happened to be there instead. And she isn't even here.

So, she can probably help Hwan prepare dinner for Nijiko before she gets back.

But a little part of her had a sneaking suspicion that her best friend ditched her on purpose. With some intentions to nudge them into hanging out together.

Maybe it's to just keep her sister company.

After all, why would Nijiko have set Tegan up for that? Especially since she told her that Hwan's straight and wouldn't be into her.

Right? As a sister, Nijiko probably took it as a duty to encourage her little sister to get along with her best friend. No homo. Pure platonic reasons.   Nothing more, nothing less.

So, she clears her throat and braces herself.

"Well, I can help." Tegan tries smiling. "Considering there are some stuff I'm familiar with."

"Wait, you cook for her too?"

"Sometimes, whenever we both have a day off, we do that. Since we have utterly different culinary styles, I cook some Indian food that she hasn't tried. And she does the same for the Japanese and Korean food."

"Ah. Makes lotta sense."

"Hey, so, do you think you can tolerate spicy food?" Tegan asks, picking a moong dal packet.

Hwan arches a brow. "All have you know I've lived in Japan. And I can definitely handle anything with an abundance of spices. And I've eaten tons of kimchi soups and stews before I went there."

"Huh. Nijiko knows how to cook some mean kimchi soups."

"Yeah, wait until you try mine. In fact, I'm gonna prepare some while you cook your curry."

It might be her imagination yet Hwan's mouth quirks up at a corner. Just a fraction yet visible all the same. Kicking up her heart rate into high gear a little bit.

Tegan averts her eyes, rummaging through ingredients gathered at the counters.

Oww. She just had to be cute, huh?

"Okay then. I hope you can eat this Parippu curry. Once I'm done cooking it, of course."

Hwan just watches her, tracking her movements as she proceeds with the Parripu curry. Getting it's ingredients. Cumin seeds, asafoetida, turmeric powder, coconut oil, dry red chillies, chili powder, mustard seeds, mung dal, grated coconut, curry leaves, pearl onions, and garlic.

She rinses one cup of mung dal into a bowl, putting turmeric powder, asafoetida, and two cups of water into the mix.

After setting a pressure cooker on the stove, she lifts the lids. Then pours the moong dal from a bowl, filling it up. She switches it on at medium and steps back.

"You're gonna have to wait for it to boil," Tegan explains as Hwan raises her brows. "And I gotta make some coconut paste to add into it."

"Got it. I'll go ahead and start with my kimchi stew."

Hwan flips a chopping board then settles it onto a counter. She whips up a knife out of a drawer. She rolls a batch of napa cabbage over it.

Tegan's jaw slacks at how she chops it into bite-sized pieces within two minutes. Somewhat like a ninja, who's got mega fast reflexes.

As the pressure cooker goes off at it's first whistle, it sends a jolt into Tegan. Snapping her back to her current surroundings.  

Darn it. She can't get carried away by this. Her poor brain would be tricked into thinking it's some date or something. And she can't let that happen.  

With a grimace, she squeezes her eyes shut.   Maybe her best friend set out to torture her with this. Showing her on who she can't be with.  

Oh, well. She's gotta manage, somehow. Especially when Hwan throws an expectant look at her.  

For whatever it has to be. . .  

Tegan blinks and smacks her forehead. She turns the stove down and the fire goes out. She removes the lid, instantly greeted by a waft of steam.  

Gee, right. She has to work on the coconut paste before she fully cooks the parripu curry. So, she gets a blender jar.

***

[namig42]

okay so two OC questions:

one, if you've made it to act 3, i'm very curious what Sahed's thoughts on Lorroakan are

two, in the backstory situation, does velora ever end up escaping? bc you personified her a bit too well and i'm a lil (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) at the thought of her just stuck down there forever

An ask? About my OCs? I'm so honored, I may just cry a little

First question! I'm still only in Act 1 of my Sahed run. I finished the Grove/Goblin situation and have just made it to the Underdark. Honestly, I have no clue how Sahed would react to Lorroakan yet! I'm still figuring out his dynamics with the rest of the party, let alone other NPCs. His dynamic with Astarion is really clear to me, but Gale and Shadowheart (my only two surviving companions at this point) are still a bit blurry, so I'm trying to piece it together. Give me like two weeks and I'll probably be in act 3 lol

Second question! So I wrote Velora's story as part of a side quest for a DnD campaign I'm writing, and I wanted her narrative to be tied to the main storyline. In the campaign, if and when the party does find her, she'll have been trapped in the cave for 20+ years at this point and kept barely alive by a barrier Sahed put into place. There's an elf named Elysia living in a bathhouse above the cave with her husband, and Elysia also happens to be a cleric. The poor girl managed to stumble upon the cave one day and found Velora, and Velora, in a moment of desperation, knocks Elysia out in order to maybe find a way to get the healing chains onto her instead. If Velora leaves the barrier, she has such little life force left, she'll die within minutes, so she needs something to keep powering the healing springs so she can use their powers to restore the life force stolen from her. If she can find a way to break her chains and put them on someone else who has strong healing powers similar to hers, she may be able to live.

With that backstory all established, there are multiple ways the party can handle this situation! They were asked by Elysia's husband to find the elf and rescue her, but would they leave poor Velora stranded down there? There are multiple outcomes, some that end well for everybody, and some that end poorly for everybody too. Depending on the party's choices, Velora can possibly be freed and be added to the party. She's grateful for being rescued and is interested in joining the party since they happen to be hunting some golden dragonborn that sounds oddly familiar to her heheheh. There are also versions where she either perishes or is left to rot, so you decide!

The story of how Velora ended up trapped in the first place is also pretty rough, so if anyone's interested, I'd be happy to share! I'm very proud of that whole side quest and how many possibilities there are.

[cloudbells]

4, 9, 18, 38 for your mcu ask game! ILY❤️

HI THANK YOU ILY TOO MWAH MWAH <3

4. NOTP (Least favorite ship)

I have a couple answers to this that I can be normal about hating…but I fear the facade of me being not absolute bonkers coo coo crazy has long faded. So I will answer this with truth.

If I could mentally eradicate the existence of WinterIron from the minds of every single person who has contributed to its success…I’d wallow in the ethics of that for about 5 minutes and then immediately do it #mindwipingiscoolactually #giveMEthemindstone. I truly, truly, despise that ship with everything in me. And this isn’t a secret! Anyone who has ever spoken to me knows I hate this ship. Just the mere sight of it makes me sick to my stomach oh my goodness. Everyone knows to the point where I'll get disclaimers about any hint of winteriron in fic recs (also i love you guys who do this y'all are so REAL). And it’s not even for, like, morals reasons. I just hate it so much because of how I’ve seen it portrayed. I wish I could say the ship not making sense is the reason I hate it most, but it isn’t! Even though I firmly believe it makes no sense. That’s not anywhere near my main problem with it because I have plenty of ships that don’t make sense (Never ask user cloudbells what her current favorite ultra-sparkly rare pair is [the two characters aren't in the same fandom or even sister fandoms]). 

I hate it for petty reasons. And I hate that it’s so popular. Why is it one of the most popular ships?! Why do people like them? Well, I know why people like them, but I wish I could live my entire life with never seeing it ever again. Every time I’ve ever saw it, it involves some weird ass Steve characterization. But also, I just hate the idea of taking Steve’s top ships and making them in love with each other and then all the weird hateful undertones when it comes to Steve? Plus, in no way are Tony and Bucky ever getting together. I can’t even stand them as besties if we’re gonna get real lmao. I can handle them becoming friendly…maybe friends eventually, but anything further than that and I need Ativan or something to chill out. Omg, I can’t think about this anymore, someone get the straightjacket. I’ll admit myself to residential. But I do always love the chance to talk about things I don’t like. 

9. Favorite fight scene

Gotta say I’m a sucker for the scenes in CATWS where Steve fights Bucky. I love them so much. I love how you can clearly see the way his body twists, the way his muscles tense and release, the way his strikes flow - how sharp his jumping, punching and kicking are. UGH. It does everything for me. I loooooove Steve’s fighting choreography. He fights so clean…at least to me, someone who isn’t a trained fighter. Hm, well, maybe with this in mind, I should say I love the elevator fight. Or Hell - Natasha’s fight scenes. Side note that has nothing to do with the MCU: this just reinforced how much I love hand to hand. I remember when I watched Naruto and used to complain constantly over the lack of good taijutsu fights. I like seeing contact!!

18. Things you'd do if you're one of the MCU writers

Erm…SteveTony canon? Just kidding. But I wouldn’t say no to adding more undertones.

In all honesty, if we’re not talking about re-writes…I would absolutely give more weight to the Clint and Natasha relationship. I just mentioned this to someone, but I would do anything for a movie or mini-series or something just to see the moment where Natasha came to kill Clint and he instead decided to take her in, convince Fury to help, assisted with deprogramming her, ect. I’d love it. Seeing Natasha learn to trust again, seeing Clint struggle and being active in her healing. Natasha coping with everything she’s done, ect. Their bond forming…I need it. If any has any fic recs…

If we’re talking about Steve specifically, I would single-handedly force everyone to keep his deleted scenes and find somewhere to put them. I just wish we had more context on Steve himself. Like, I don’t need to see him having a self vs self angst we see with many other characters, because he’s not the type that needs that - but his external circumstances are fucking shitty and I’d love to see those explored more. I’d rewrite CACW to be more blatant on Steve’s motivations. I mean Hell, they were pretty damn clear to me, but apparently I can’t use myself as the leading authority on things like this (boooooo) and since it’s a CAPTAIN AMERICA movie, it should center around him. I shouldn’t have to defend Steve from the fandom concerning his own damn movie. 

I have some more thoughts but this post is getting long omg, I might not have enough space.

38. Favorite and least favorite villain

Favorite? I really like the potential Kang has (though he wasn’t really…great to me in Ant Man tbh). But anyways, my favorites are Alexander Pierce and Killmonger. I’ve mentioned why I like Pierce as a villain before, but it boils down to how calmly and near seamlessly he executed his power. I’ve always loved a villain that is so outwardly calm and calculated and manages to manipulate even the most suspicious of people, precisely because from his view, his goals aren’t very different from some heroes’. And because he believes in his evil so deeply, it makes him more patient and determined to carry forward. I like that. Chills!

My like for Killmonger is more…it’s a little removed from the MCU verse. I’m a black American, so I really understood where his anger and sense of betrayal came from. I mean, we're also from the same exact city. And I grew up with all typa diaspora wars between black people and African people that felt reflected in the movie…it all just really connected with me. He’s still the villain no doubt for how he went about it, but I truly, truly got his resentment. His emotions and motivations make sense! And I love a character that makes sense. 

Least favorite? The Howard guy in WandaVision. Ouuuuu, put me and him in a room for 2 minutes and he’ll be handled, permanently! I don’t even think he’s a badly written character because he (unfortunately) makes sense. But oh my goodness, I hate him so much. Now, least favorite as in boring or bad? Ultron, in my opinion. He could have been so much cooler, much more formidable, much more terrifying…but if they really dived into it, Ultron’s reign wouldn’t have started and ended in just one movie. But damn, was he disappointing.

Oh! If Namor counts as a villain (he does) I really like him. And NOT just because he's sexy and I have had a period of time where I had a very guilty and shameful crush on him.

Thank you for the ask!! <3

[stfu-im-thinking-abt-blorbo]

The critical hit portraits are at nearly 300 notes whilw im writing this and I am beyond happy so many people enjoy my silly little idea. The AU is still sitting in my brain and I'm writing headcanons for it.

Idk if I'm going to separate them by character with little character references, or just infodump it all into one page. For now here's some general stuff I've come up with. I'll put it under a readmore after the first five bc there's a lot.

Also if anyone wants to send asks about the AU, I think that'd be pretty neat 😳

Setting is a blend of Ninjago City in the show and the 10 or so minutes I saw of it in the movie before Luh-Loyd happened.

Shadows attack the city regularly, but only at night. In the AU, they're spawned from the Overlord and cannot handle natural sunlight.

I'm limiting Shadows to only be active at night to mimic the Dark Hour in P3 while still being separate, and to give myself plenty of opportunities to use P3-5's social sim aspects like Social Links/Confidants.

I'm only gonna refer to Social Link/Confidants as just Social Links (SLs), but they'll still have the same kind of benefits as Confidants.

There won't be any other world the group goes to in order to fight Shadows. The Velvet Room is technically the only other world present, but only Lloyd and Wu can go in there.

The main group are all teenagers and in school, it wouldn't be a Persona AU if they're weren't lol.

Cole is 18 and in 12th grade. Kai and Jay are 17 and in 11th grade. Nya is 16, but skipped a grade and is in 11th with Kai and Jay. Lloyd is 14 and in 8th grade (middle school). Zane and Pixal (I've decided she will be part of the main group) are a bit of a special case.

Both of them are still robots like in Ninjago. They're Anti-Shadow Supression Weapons created by Borg Industries (they kinda serve the same function as the Kirijo Group in P3.) Zane was a prototype and was due to be scrapped as he had become outdated. He ended up joining the party shortly after its formation instead. Pixal is a much more recent model and will be the very last member of the party.

Since Anti-Shadow weapons are still considered fairly new in the AU, Zane would be roughly between 8-12, but have the mental functions on par with the older members of the group. So he's treated as being the same age as Cole. He does attend school with the group and is in the 12th grade as well. I'm kinda mimicking what was done with both Aigis and Labrys in P3 and P4 respectively.

Pixal was built much more recently, maybe 4 years prior to the AU? Still figuring that out. She's practically a walking computer with an internet connection and all, but she's considered as young as Nya. They even parallel with Pixal being like a younger sister to Zane. (Sorry, I'm not a big PixZane shipper.) Pixal does not attend school at all and has no desire to. For Pixal, I'm kinda treating her based off of what I understand of Sophia in P5S even though I haven't seen much from that game at all yet.

Wu and Garmadon are from the Velvet Room. They both regularly left the Velvet Room to enjoy the human world. Garmadon started a family with Misako and had Lloyd, but later went missing and hasn't returned to the Velvet Room since.

First Spinjitsu Master and Overlord kinda take over the role of Philemon and Nyarlathotep. FSM isn't ever present, he leaves everyone to their own devices. Overlord, on the otherhand, is the main antagonist and is the reason why Garmadon is missing.

Wu is the current caretaker of the Velvet Room, Igor is on vacation or something.

When Wu isn't present in the Velvet Room, Morro watches over it. Morro will also be Lloyd's Attendant. They don't like each other 💔

Cole, Nya and Lloyd won't be getting their normal elements. I'm sticking to P5R's battle system and elements, as well as weaknesses and technicals for enemies. I wont be using anything in P1, the P2 duology, or other parts of MegaTen because most of their systems are insane and have too much going on lol.

For Cole, there is an Earth element, but it hasn't been used since P1 and the P2 duology, and was included in a few other parts of MegaTen. His Persona will mainly have Physical skills, since that still fits him. Maybe a few Almighty skills just to give him a bit more variety too lol. Probably gonna base his skillset off Shinjiro's in P3.

Nya is in a similar spot to Cole, yet somehow worse. Water is also an element in the series, but from my understanding it was ONLY used in the P2 duology and nowhere else is MegaTen. P5 does have Ice, but that's kinda stepping Zane's toes. She'll have a few low level Ice skills, but I think I'm gonna test out a skillset centering around Nuke for her. If that doesn't work out, then I'll have to come up with something else.

The closest I can pin to Lloyd is Force, but again I'm sticking to P5R. Next best is Curse, Bless or Psychokinesis. Lloyd is also the main Wildcard, so it doesn't entirely matter, but for now I'll just be giving his initial Persona Curse skills.

I'm running with my headcanon that there can be multiple naturally chosen Wildcards, but only one can reach the true potential of the ability. So both Lloyd and Kai get the Wildcard ability, as a sort of nod to how Kai was originally going to be the main protagonist in the show before Lloyd was added.

Kai's Wildcard is similar to Akechi in P5. He can only summon two Personas. His own initial one, and one to represent his bond with Nya.

Also Kai does not have Velvet Room privileges.

I think have the Arcana of the party figured out and some of the SLs:

The party itself: The Fool (SL only)

Lloyd = The Fool, Judgement (Kai SL)

Kai = The Chariot

Nya = The Empress

Zane = The Star

Cole = The Emperor

Jay = The Magician

Pixal = The Lovers

Wu = The Moon

Garmadon = The Sun (Lloyd SL only)

Misako = The High Preistess (Lloyd SL), Hierophant (Kai SL)

Morro = The Tower (Lloyd SL only)

Skylor = Death (Kai SL), TBA for Lloyd's SL.

Chen = Hunger/Lust/Strength (Kai SL only)

Ronin = The Hanged Man

Dareth = Jester /hj

[awritingcaitlin]

🔥Find the Word🔥

I was tagged by @mjjune for the words play, medicine, spray, shoot, fire

I'll be tagging: @legiomiam, @juls-writes, @baroquesse, @muddshadow, @tananaphone

For the words: plan, blink, swore, small, run

Snippets are from Siege of Berthingtonn

🎻PLAY🎻

“So what’s the plan?” Taryn asked once they reached it.

“Well, I wanted to go to Temple, but that’s out of the question,” Rinnie said.

Taryn grimaced.

“So let’s actually enjoy the nightlife.”

“Glad to see you becoming more of yourself again,” Taryn said.

They walked down the street the palace was on and turned down a thoroughfare into the town proper. As soon as they did, they were accosted with sights and smells of everyone in Berthingtonn, it seemed, being on the streets. Vendors had tents set up at every corner. Performers had set up stages to dance, play instruments, and other more complicated performances.

.

🩺MEDICINE🩺

Nathaniel blinked at her. “Did you go to school?” he asked after a moment.

“Mmhmm,” Rinnie said. “I had to, to become a doctor. I did that after I was a surfer. Though, to be fair, I didn’t plan on going into medicine.”

“I had wondered,” Nathaniel mused, taking the fish out of the pan and putting them onto a plate. He put some cooked vegetables next to them. “What did you go to school for originally?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Rinnie said bitterly. “The Navy told me I couldn’t do it anyway. I had to be their pet theramancer instead.” She focused on cutting the carrots into perfect coin slices.

Nathaniel licked his lips. “Isn’t that what the military does though?”

.

💥SPRAY💥

“Frechit-nayn,” Kanjo swore, handing the notes back.

“Am I right?” she whispered.

He pursed his lips. “The correct thing to do would be to warn people. Perhaps even stop them.”

She swallowed. “I had thoughts so.”

They heard artillery in the distance, sounding like pillows being smacked together. Rinnie looked south and saw the prismatic spray of colors from various attacks. Everything had taken on a greenish-greyish hue. Overhead, a Berthan light bomber, one engine trailing a thick stream of smoke and multicolored sparks, indicative of badly channeled energy, was being escorted to the main city by a single small, wedge-shaped fighter. Rinnie shivered again.

.

🔫SHOOT🔫

Riela held a small revolver in her hands. It seemed out of place there as she stood out by Mama’s garden. She knew virtually nothing about it. It would hold six bullets. Mama’d told her the bullets were .38 caliber. The numbers meant something to a part of Riela buried deep. Yet even that part of her hadn’t used guns much. They were hard to come by and required perishable ammunition. All the escapee kids kept to knives. They’d rather steal food.

Riela handled it hesitantly.

“So, you’re gonna learn how to shoot this gun,” Mama said, a smile playing on her lips.

Riela was still unsure. “Oh, I don’t know, Mama, I’ve never needed a gun before.”

“And you’ve always had to sneak up on your enemies to kill them,” Mama replied. “I’d much rather see you face off against some sorceress with a gun than a knife.”

.

🔥FIRE🔥

“Maybe it’s time I stop running,” she argued. “Put my skills to use.”

“Are you sure you mean that?” Adler asked. “Because I can bet that whatever you saw back in Eswaisil is nothing compared to what’s coming. War is ugly. It’s painful and you don’t want to be here for it.”

Riela slammed her glass down on the counter and marched up to Adler, fire in her eyes suddenly. “How can you even begin to say what’s coming will be worse when you don’t know what you’re comparing it to?” she seethed. “I watched my friends die one-by-one as we were picked off by the authorities. I escaped prison multiple times and not unscathed. If it wasn’t the cruel bitches, it was hunger, or infection. I’m the only one of our whole group that made it out of Eswaisil.”

Adler swallowed. “Riela, that will happen again. Your bag’s already packed. Just go. You don’t need to do that to yourself again.”

“So I go in there and leave you to it?” she spluttered. “That’s no better.”

[carcharsaur]

wol questions 27 and 30? or maybe 27-30 but no pressure if thats too much lol

NO WORRIES I love answering questions thank you :D

27. How did the events of Shadowbringers impact them?

this one is kind of a doozy... for the main version of caranar I run with it's the first time he's recognized as a hero front-and-center since he gets labeled as the warrior of darkness rather than eryna. it's simultaneously something that really touches him and also really upsets him because he feels like he can't do enough to justify the praise he's given. by the end though, he can come to accept that anyone can be a hero... shadowbringers was a like intense character development arc for him but it's hard to describe succinctly... but he definitely wouldn't have been able to survive endwalker without it, I can see him otherwise becoming a blasphemy for sure. him and thancred in the early thavnair quests like "wait you guys haven't thought about killing yourselves? that's crazy"

more under cut AAGAGH

for kozu shadowbringers was like the emotional equivalent of throwing a brick into an empty running dryer I really put him through the ringer. him having a year or so in the first before shadowbringers msq proper starts gives him a lot of forced time to slow down and reflect, since most of his personal issues aren't really resolved in arr-sb. he got called to the first during the CS that the exarch first gets to properly talk to the wol during the zenos-elidibus instance. he bums around the crystarium for a while with like extreme numbness. separated from everything he built, everything that mattered to him, and placed in a world where his at-the-time main job (whm) is something I'd imagine people are genuinely kind of scared of if not unsettled or disgusted by. he helps out at the medical section for a while, and tries to get into the facets but bounces off due to his state. exarch is like "get help!!" and calls urianger in. and then kozu decides to fully switch over to red mage while heading out to il mheg to help out urianger's tasks/goals there. I could write about that for WAY too long but basically SHB is when kozu starts being truly emotionally open with the people around him, airs out his past with the scions, etc. and he was so glad to have been able to help save a world that wasn't his own. he still misses the first, especially the crystarium and the fae, a lot (moogle and sylph experience paid off with handling the fae also LOL) when kozu gets back to the source he's like way more chilled out and just wants to embrace his wanderlust while also helping people instead of getting himself stuck. does this make any fuckign sense good lord.

28. Were they suspicious or open to Emet-Selch's presence when he first appeared? 

kozu just fucking ignored him as best as they could I'll be real. didn't feel the need to give him the time of day, felt as if even his half-hearted words didn't match up with his actions most of the time. caranar though butted heads with him ineffectively and would have tried to chase him off or at least annoy him any time he showed up. my guys are haters not only for the ascian thing but like bro the imperialist father of the empire trying to be buddy buddy? FOH

29. Did your WoL suspect anything was amiss with Urianger or the Crystal Exarch? Did they feel betrayed? Upset? When the truth finally emerged? 

caranar was extremely suspicious of crystal exarch but not in a "I think he's evil" way just in a "he is NOT telling us the whole truth" way. in the SB patch content and VERYY beginning of shb he'd be a little more dismissive and angry at him but as soon as he understood the state of the first and the work the exarch put into saving it he'd pull back a little but something would be nagging at him the whole time. especially since the exarch claims g'raha wasn't in the tower just SOMETHING AINT RIGHT. and by the time we get to the pre-gulg leadup he knows that's g'raha but isn't sure what he could do or say about it. and regrets he didn't say more before he got FUCKING SHOT but he never felt betrayed or upset with him about it. a self-targeted upset maybe also caranar never interacted directly much with urianger before SHB so both in HW patches and SHB he had no idea. in HW he was legit mad for a bit but in SHB he gets why he did what he did, doesn't hold it against him but does feel stupid and guilty for not putting stuff together faster to help g'raha earlier for kozu.... I'm still of two minds.... I need to like replay because kozu as he is and the exarch have some parallels that I still need to consider more. duty bound by both hope and guilt... a 100 year vigil where they hold others away from them... their sense of identity slowly wearing away... disregarding the value of their own life in service of others... BASICALLY he wouldn't feel betrayed or angry he would just feel very conflicted. and sad. urianger, kozu was very suspicious of him in the HW patches even though he didn't have free movement for most of hw to like potentially keep an eye on him he knew something was off but wasn't sure how. until he saw him in his disguise he was like COME ON MAN. and was mad but in a "I'm gonna set his ass straight" way not "we've been betrayed" way. in SHB he could tell there was something he was hiding but he didn't want to pull at it recklessly, he just wanted urianger to share his burden with him; didn't want him to suffer alone as he clearly was. and the fact he didn't confide really really ate at him and nagged him... when the truth came out he was angry but like. sad-angry. thinking he was unworthy still of full trust. he still forgave him but he made him swear not to hide things anymore. (AND I KNOWWWW HE TECHNICALLY DOES IN EDEN AND ATTEMPTS TO IN ENDWALKER ON THE MOON but this is relationship drama fodder to me. also the eden one he would've keyed kozu in)

30. What was their highest point in Shadowbringers? Their lowest? What caused it? 

highest point... hmm I think for caranar it'd be the end of the base expac, graha saved and his wife's soul not about the explode into a million pieces the relief and the WE FUCKING DID IT!!! WE LIVED!!! of it all would've given him a huge boost ever since that point like. DAMN we can do ANYTHING actually. his lowest point is definitely pre-gulg whereas everyone else is feeling hyped up, it's when eryna takes any of the light he insisted on carrying himself from him and he just feels like he can't help anyone, that his efforts are always in vain (the ardbert parallel hah). he feels he's not worthy of even being a figurehead. the g'raha emo peptalk was so needed

for kozu, I think his highest point would be the end of 5.3, the past laid to rest, everyone made it, life is returning to the empty, and they can go home... he'd cry when he woke up in his body on the source I think, joyfully but also mixed with a little sadness that they can't watch over the first ever again. his lowest point was right when he arrived LOL as ascribed above

[thewritersafterglow]

how to actually meet your writing goals: the guide we all need

Intro

hey everyone! today's post is inspired by all the super fun struggles i've been having during nanowrimo. i still don't know if i'll win or not... i guess we'll see. anyway, hopefully these tips can help you actually meet your goals for progressing in your writing <3

Be realistic

this might be a bit hypocritical for me to say, considering that i am attempting to write a f*cking novel during exam season, but it is very important thing to keep in mind.

when you're sitting down to plan your goals, think realistically about the week/month/year ahead of you. what are your commitments? what other things will you have to put time into? are there any other activities that you will have to prioritize?

based on all of these things, you need to choose a word count goal that makes sense and is something you can actually achieve in that time frame. there's a difference between challenging yourself a healthy amount and setting goals that you'll never be able to achieve.

Plan, plan, plan

yeah yeah, i'm aware that this is my advice for everything writing related but, what can i say? it's the key to staying on top of writing. you have to figure out how you're going to divide up the word count so that you hit the goal, while still staying realistic and not pushing yourself too hard.

there are loads of websites you can use for this, such as nanowrimo.com and pacemaker.press - or, you can just do the math yourself if you really want.

this step also involves deciding which days you're going to write more and less - for example, i always set more words to be written on Fridays and Saturdays, since i can stay up late those nights without worrying about school.

Staying motivated

i know, i know. "we all want to stay motivated, Rayne, but it's not that easy." i'm aware of that, don't worry lmao.

i have a whole post on how to stay motivated, but here's the general gist. the main way to keep yourself motivated is to have an internal motivating factor. this means something that is not at all influenced by external factors. for example, an internal desire to become a published author.

however, it's useful to have external factors that can help amp up your willpower to write on days where you might be a bit more tired. for example, watching writing videos/content of authors, pinterest boards, playlists, aesthetics and more!

How to handle an "off day"

this is what can really throw you off from writing. you have one day where you feel like you can't write anything... and then another... and then another. suddenly, you're twenty thousand words behind where you should be and-

but that doesn't have to be the case! having off days is okay, and honestly? it's kind of necessary. but the main point is not to let that off day throw off your stride.

if you have a day where you can't write (not enough time, too tired, burnt out, etc), try planning out your schedule for the rest of the month/whatever time frame so that you still hit your goal. ex, maybe you're going to write 1.2k every day instead of just 1k, for the rest of the month. replanning your schedule can make having an off day feel much less overwhelming.

Outro

thanks for reading through this post! if you don't know me, i'm Rayne H. Olivia, the admin of this account and the founder of the writer's afterglow.

here on instagram/tumblr, i post daily writing content/advice, and i also have a podcast called "the writer's afterglow" (available on spotify, google podcasts, and my website in my bio!)

if you want to see more of my content + stay in touch, please consider following my account! if not, i understand, and hope you have a nice day :)

keep writing,

Rayne <3

[protect-namine]

I have a terrible idea for a fic which means if I ever write it I'll probably archive lock it

[cephei-ea]

Helllooo!! hope you’re doing well :) I was wondering if you could write a reader x arlo angst? i feel like a main flaw abt him is his tendency to expect too much while also being too “lecture-y” or condescending even when talking to ppl close to him. so maybe reader is his gf and couldn’t finish some responsibilities cause she had a rough week and his flaws pop out before he realizes she’s having a hard time? thank you!!

Hi anonnie!! I'm doing well, I hope you are as well! Thank you for being my first request <33 (And I am so so so sorry for answering late, forgive me) I am not super familiar with his character, as it's been a while since I caught up with UO, but I hope you enjoy !!

Genre: angst to comfort

Warnings: argument, cursing, Arlo says some mean stuff, (I rushed this, I’m sorry, I usually don’t :( I wanted to finish asap)

Synopsis: Arlo treats you poorly when you're having a bad week, seeing your tears fall because of him seems to flip a switch in his mind.

Word Count: 1.7k

___

It'd been cruel how the universe truly believed in how much you could handle. It's not like you were a god, after all, a few exams and plenty of expectations from everyone around you piling up was enough to wear you out. It would anyone. It felt as though you hadn't seen your boyfriend properly for days and getting back home, all you were hoping for was to fall into his embrace and sleep until your issues were forgotten, even if it were fleeting. Your bag was heavy, your belongings weighing down your arm as you dragged yourself through the door and shut it behind you with a foot. You immediately dropped your bag to the ground and slipped off your heels. You really hated that pair, but you had to wear them for a meeting with a few higher ups and now your feet screamed at you for rest.

"Arlo? Love, where are you?" You heard a gentle hum resound from the bedroom down the hall and quietly made your way down; the walk torturously long. "What are you doing here all alone? How's your work going?"

"Could be better." He answered curtly. You could tell he was irritated just by his attitude and the tone of his voice, but the way he stood staring at the basket of unfolded laundry on the floor made you feel like you should just focus on something else. You wandered over to the closet to grab a change of clothes and began to slip out of the uncomfortable clothes of the day. It was late, you noticed, eyeing the clock on the adjacent wall.

"Can I help you feel better?" You smiled softly, your eyes full of sleep as you reached behind you to unclasp your bra. Arlo turned suddenly and a perpetual frown seemed to stain his features. You quickly grabbed your night shirt and covered your half exposed chest, feeling shy under his intense gaze. "W, why are you staring?" You tried to laugh off the confusion in your voice, instead it came out as scratchy and cornered.

"You didn't do the laundry." He stated as though he wanted a yes or no answer, despite clearly seeing it hadn't been done.

"No, I haven't had time to, I've been really busy with school work, I'm sorry!"

"We're you half asleep when you put the dishes away? They're all in the wrong spots, did you truly not notice?"

"O...oh. I'm sorry, I'll get them done tomorrow if that makes you hap-" you sighed, finally realizing he was having a little tantrum of his. Arlo and his systems.

Though, you had to give it to him, he was persistent. He wanted every dish in a specific spot behind another specific dish in the right cabinet or in the right drawer. It came with the package that was him, you were fully willing to work along his schedule, it just got a bit overwhelming sometimes.

"-Forget it. You can't seem to do it the way it's meant to be done, so I'll do it." He grumbled, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I mean, come on. I've told you countless times how it has to be, can you really not even accomplish something as simple as chores?" You clutched your shirt to your chest, feeling small; smaller than you should. Vulnerable with nothing but a pair of underwear firmly on your body. But his eyes that burned into you had made you feel as though you couldn't move. The gaze that looked down on you and made you feel like a useless child.

"Arlo, I don't think it's a big deal, I mean all the cups are going in the same place anyways. Why should it matter which-" his voice suddenly boomed over yours.

"Because it just matters okay!?" He actually began raising his voice, and you weren't nearly in the mood for an argument. But this was outright ridiculous. He picked up the basket of laundry and carelessly dropped it onto the bed, allowing the laundry to spill all over the sheets and the basket to fall to the floor at your feet. Your eyes followed, jaw working with frustration. He thought you incompetent. "A child could do this better than you, do I seriously need to remind you everytime-" the rest of his speech about 'the way things must be done' because 'there is an order to everything' that must not be looked past, went in one ear and damn straight through the other. He still had the mindset he did when he was infatuated with the hierarchy. "-Are you even listening to me!!??" He yelled, eyes piercing through you as he let his emotions rip through your resolve. "You can't do anything right; all I want is to come home to the place in order and this is what I-" he paused suddenly, when you made your way promptly out of the room with your clothes and a pillow in tow. "Where are you going!? Are you seriously walking away from me right now!!?" His eyebrows furrowed deep into the crevice between them, his irritation gaining. Quickly, you slipped into your shirt and slid a pair of shorts on, feeling tears drip down your cheeks and a slight dizziness prompted behind your eyes. Arlo was fast in catching your wrist, halfway down the hall to your living room and he was, to say the least, shocked to see the tears that stained your beautiful face. "Are-..."

Was he the cause?

Of the one thing he hated most?

He swore to never hurt you and yet you stood in your own home, crying because of him.

His entire mood switched up like a light switch.

"Are you...?" He began, his voice now soft as he took in your pained expression. "...crying?"

"I tried!! I'm trying, damn it!! Arlo, I can't do it all, everything is piling up, it feels like the world is on my shoulders, how can you try to argue with me right now!!??" You sniffled, trying to tug away from his grip. "How can you put so much on me!!?? Have you even noticed that I've been stressed out of my mind or that I've been coming home later every night or that I'm touch starved or that I miss you!!?? Why are the dishes and laundry more important!!?? I'm sorry I can't do it right but I'm... I'm-!!!" He pulled you into his strong arms, heart heavy in the cavity of his chest. Arlo placed his chin atop your head, any issues he'd had a mere minutes ago been completely forgotten. He was too upset with himself to care about the damn dishes anymore. He let his frustrations get the better of him and his emotions cloud his judgement. "How can you be so condescending!?" Your voice cracked horribly, nose squished against his firm chest as you cried into his shirt. "How can you treat me like a toddler!? I'm your girlfriend, Arlo, not your employee or your inferior or your-" he hushed you softly, sitting you both down onto the couch, he shut his eyes, wishing he had a reason to justify the way he spoke to you. Alas, he did not and his stomach merely churned fit the idea that this could have been the last straw for you. "I'm your girlfriend..." you barely whispered, frustration lacing your tone with sadness. Arlo couldn't find his words, for once. You were the one and only person that could render him desperate and speechless at the same time.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know... I don't know why I said those things, I,I didn't mean them-"he paused, pulling you away to wipe the tears gently from below your eyes, his fingers grazing your soft skin and holding your face like you were a jewel he couldn't drop. "I was just taking my anger out on you, I would never say anything like that in my right mind- I... I'm sorry." He kissed away your last tears and met your eyes. "I don't care about the chores, I don't." You sniffled a time or two and Arlo felt his heart break in half. He never would have made you cry had he been himself and not allowed his feelings take control of him. "I love you. I can't lose you. Forgive me. Please, love; I will never speak to you that way again. I was frustrated, I’m sorry I didn’t think about your issues as well. I would never say those things to you of all fucking people in my right mind, I know it’s not that important, of course I do… I miss you so much and I haven’t seen you all week— and it’s making me anxious, I just handle it the wrong way... It will not happen again, I can asure you.” He chanted out in hopes you would believe him. “I don’t know what came over me…” he whispered to himself. He treated people like his inferiors in the past, it was no secret. But you? Of all people, he lashed out at you? It’d never really happened before and for a second, Arlo realized he could have single handedly pushed you away for good. His blue eyes bore into yours and the gentle blonde locked from his head fell against your temple as he stared at you. “I love you. I apologize.”And despite the anger and frustration and sadness you'd been feeling mere minutes ago, it all felt washed away when your boyfriend lifted your head between his hands and hesitantly leaned down to meet your lips in a soft, deep kiss. He felt unsure as to whether you were still too mad to want to touch him, but with the way you leaned into the kiss as if you didn't want to part, told him otherwise. In fact, Arlo began getting worried for your oxygen supply or lack thereof when you wouldn't take a break, even as he leaned away to part...

However when he did manage to break away (for both of your sakes), and you told him that, "It's okay." And that, “I forgive you.” Arlo felt as though he was the one who had lost his air. He smiled wide and crushed you against him, leaving himself a mental note to finish the house chores for you today, so that you could sleep.