#if it doesnt work out you will lose something much more important

[wind-becomes-lightning]

I have an on-off crush on my best friend and have had so for at least 6-ish years now. Currently it's back on. :(

:C sucks man, I'm sorry I'm the worst person to talk to about this because im veryyyyyy firm believer of "dont date your best friends" so my advice to you would be DONT, just dont! and that I'm very sorry its back on that sucks.

[4unnyr0se]

❥ OHMAMI | hajime iwaizumi

warnings: timeskip! iwaizumi, fem! reader, car sex, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, hickeys, degradation, manhandling, slight fingering, finger-sucking, riding, oikawa is mentioned a lot tbh, protective and possessive iwa

MDNI | 18+ content

word count -> 4.9k

a/n: okay i started this in early june and now im finishing it so im sorry if it doesnt make sense aaaa

❥ song: OHMAMI - chase atlantic

Iwaizumi was never the one people thought of when asked who their favorite member of the Aoba Johsai team was. He grew to accept it over time, albeit with spite and anger. Everyone was always wrapped up in what Oikawa was doing, wondering who would be his next girlfriend of the week. It was gross how Oikawa hogged all the girls; how could he be so selfish? Fucking jackass. 

Naturally, it was a relief when he graduated. Sure, Aoba Johsai never went to nationals (and yes, it very much stung), but the memories were important, right? Hitting perfect spike after spike, smacking Oikawa around, hearing that glorious school cheer, Iwaizumi had to admit he would miss it. Not the part where Oikawa kept all the girls to himself. 

Graduation came and went, and so did university. It was a breeze. Sports medicine was not a challenging major; he was just really good at the subject. Another graduation came, and Iwaizumi could only think about you and that pretty, perfect face. You were his closest friend in high school, and sadly, you drifted apart during university. You were studying Japanese literature or something, he didn’t remember. It’s not his fault; he was just too busy getting girls for the first time in a while. Totally not his fault…right?

Iwaizumi wasn’t doing himself any fucking favors, he thought about you too much for his own good. Whether Aoba Johsai lost or how insufferable Oikawa was, you were always there for him. You let him lean against your shoulder and complain about his day, his disheveled and messy uniform giving him an even more thuggish appearance. The way your soft, almost angelic hands massaged his scalp, assuring him that he would be okay.  Oh, how he longed for your fingers in his spiky hair again. He had forgotten your scent, your sweet floral scent. Was it roses or lavender? Maybe lilac? Although all the girls in high school wore the same body sprays, yours was different. Was it because you were never scared of him to begin with? Fuck, he missed you.

He sat on the bench in the empty locker room of the gym he worked at, a hot towel draped around broad shoulders as he began to lose himself in his fond high school memories. Images danced around in his mind of your sweet face smiling at him for the first time, the words “Don’t worry, I’ll help you study for the English test!” leaving your soft lips. At least, Iwaizumi thought they were soft. No, he knew they were soft. God, you were so kind to him. You even ignored Oikawa’s advances towards you, which made him blush and gain so much respect for you in an instant. “Man, I’d really like to punch that guy in his dumb face.” you snickered, covering your bright smile. Iwaizumi swore he could marry you right then and there.

From that moment on, he was your closest friend. You went to all his practices and games, cheering for him when no one else would. “Nice kill, Iwa!” you would shout from the bleachers, proudly wearing a spare version of his jersey. His jersey. If Iwaizumi had no supporters, you were dead. The two of you were inseparable until university rolled around, and Iwaziumi became stupidly popular with the ladies. And sure, college girls were pretty and incredibly loose, but they weren’t you. No one was you, and he missed you every day.

Iwaizumi grunted as he stood up, tossing the towel into a basket. He stepped out of the locker room with his hands in his pockets, whistling a song from his cardio playlist. It was around ten at night, and his gym was one of the few open so late, so there wasn’t anyone there except the front receptionist girl who flirted with every guy who walked in. Truly, he couldn’t ask for better entertainment. 

“Yo,” Iwaizumi leaned across the desk, stealing an electrolyte drink from the employee minifridge. There’s no one here; you should just go home. It’s getting late.” The cool drink touched his lips, the cherry flavoring subtle. “If the boss gives you any crap, you can blame me. I don’t mind.”

The receptionist eagerly stood up and practically ran out the door, throwing her time card at him. “Clock me out!” she shouted halfway out the automatic door. Iwaizumi sighed and shoved the time card in his sweats. She really was a ditz, but at least she got people to sign up for VIP memberships. 

He clocked her out and went to his favorite spot in the gym where he usually deadlifts. Unfortunately, there was no one to spot him. Iwaizumi was a jock, but he certainly wasn’t dumb. There was no way he was dying because he got crushed by a fucking barbell. There is no chance in hell. 

His rough and calloused hands decided just to lift weights instead. That was simpler, more safe. He flipped on his headphones and selected a tune from his more…sensual playlist. It's a sensual indie R&B song that could make anyone feel like a sex god. Why was that song on his playlist? He couldn’t tell you. Once again, Iwaizumi became lost in his thoughts as he lifted the weights up and down with such ease. He worked out for health benefits, but just something about staring at his physique in the mirror made it all worth it. Damn, did he look fine as hell. He was ashamed of how long it took him to realize that he was stupidly attractive, and it took a lot of skill not to develop a massive ego around his looks. 

The automatic doors slid open, the dinging sound drowned out by his noise-canceling headphones. His green eyes locked on the floor mat below him, concentrating on passing the time by any means necessary. He paused briefly when he saw two tiny white sneakers enter his field of vision, standing considerably close to his muscular form. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled, placing the weights on the ground. “Music’s loud, y’know?” His eyes trailed upwards until they finally met your gaze, his pupils shrinking in shock. His hands gripped his headphones, softly filling the room with sensual music. “Holy shit.” Iwaizumi’s mouth was agape. He looked like a fool. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi, Iwa.” you smiled brightly, taking his headphones from his rough hands and placing them around his thick neck. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Three years, I think.” Fuck, he forgot how much smaller your hands were to his own. It’s so cute.

“Three years since university, yeah,” Iwaizumi mumbled, wiping the glistening sweat away from his forehead. “I can’t believe it’s been that long. You don’t look any different. Not that it’s a bad thing!” he stumbled on his words, silently cringing at his immature actions. He never got this flustered. He hasn’t been in a while. Less than a minute talking to you, and he was a stammering mess. This wasn’t like him at all. His tough persona might as well be tossed out the window. 

You offered him another sweet smile and rubbed his shoulder, the sweat not bothering you in the slightest. “Change is a good thing, y’know,” your words were gentle and comforting, oozing with wisdom beyond your years. Another thing Iwaizumi thought was perfect about you was that you always knew the right thing to say. “You’ve changed too. You’re way more buff than the last time we saw each other!”

“Damn right,” he smirked, subtly flexing his biceps. Were you looking? He hoped so. “I’m a personal trainer, so I gotta stay in shape. Plus, I train Oikawa, so whenever I’m pissed off, I just do a couple sets.”

“You still hang out with Oikawa? I thought you hated him.” you raised an eyebrow, placing a hand on your hips quizically. 

“I’m getting paid to tell him what workouts he should do. Can’t complain about that money,” Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his head, fluffing out his spiky hair. “Besides, I’m allowed to kick his ass whenever I want. That asshole deserves it. He somehow got even more cocky after he got back from Argentina.”

You rolled your eyes and found a nearby workout bench, crossing your legs over each other. “I didn’t think Loserkawa could become even more full of himself. You’d think being in a foreign country would humble him slightly.”

“Right?” a deep chuckle escaped his chapped lips as Iwaizumi sat beside you, minding the distance. He bit down on his lower lip slightly, just for a moment. Would you mind if he sat closer to you, like in high school? “He even started speaking Spanish, but he’s not allowed to do that around me.”

“Because you’ll throw a dumbbell at him?”

“Because I’ll throw a dumbbell at him.”

You giggled and scooted closer to Iwaizumi, the scent of sweat mixed with his cologne filling your nostrils. He smelled more mature than in high school, but that’s a given. “I see you’re still the same ol’ spikey-haired guy.” you ruffled his hair, knowing that you were the only one who could do that without getting a beatdown. 

Iwaizumi blushed, averting his eyes from your gaze. Fuck, he really missed your touch. “So, uh, what brings you to the gym? Were you looking for a membership or something?” 

You shook your head, casually wrapping your arm around his shoulder. Were you trying to kill him? “Nah. If I’m being honest, I saw you in one of the windows while I was out for an evening walk. It’s been a while, so I wanted to say hi.” You momentarily looked down at your shoes, a faint blush gracing your cheeks. “Besides, I missed you.”

“You walked here by yourself? At night? Are you crazy?” Iwaizumi shouted, grasping your shirt to pull you closer. “It’s not safe at night. You didn’t have anyone to protect you! Do you know how stupid that sounds?” his nostrils flared, a mixture of anxiety and rage overcoming him. “What if something happened?”

You gasped, your brow furrowing. “Well, excuse me! I didn’t know I needed permission from someone I haven’t spoken to in three years to take a fucking walk!” you ripped his hand away from your shirt. 

Iwaizumi groaned, hanging his head. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just…” he took a deep breath. “It’s not safe for someone like you at night, and I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because you wanted to see me.” 

You rolled your eyes and pulled his chin up, staring into his oceans of green. “Just because you’re worried about someone doesn’t give you an excuse to be an asshole about it,” you smiled in assurance. “Next time, I’ll bring something to defend myself. Okay?”

Iwaizumi smirked. “You’re the only person allowed to call me an asshole, y’know that? If you were anybody else, I’d beat your skull in.

“Then I’m lucky that I happen to still be Hajime Iwaizumi’s favorite person after all these years,” you bit down on your lower lip. “Unless…you have a girlfriend. Then she’s probably your favorite person.”

“No girlfriend, I don’t have the time,” he shook his head, moving himself closer. “I had a girlfriend before, but then-”

“Oikawa took her from you?” you cut him off.

“Fucking Oikawa took her from me. He dated her for two weeks, then dumped her for someone he met at a bar. Can you believe that?” he clenched his fist.

“Unfortunately, I can,” you gave an exasperated sigh. “I guess Oikawa will always be Oikawa.”

“God help us,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “Hey, I gotta lock up the gym. Can you wait outside, and then I can drive you home?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna be a bother.”

“Why would you be a bother? I’m just keepin' you safe, dummy.” Iwaizumi assured you, getting up and brushing off his pants. “Wait here. I’ll come to get you. I don’t want you standing outside. There’s a lot creeps around here who want nothing more than to get close to a pretty girl like you.” he turned around, not realizing that he had just complimented you. You were left with a brighter blush on your face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Did Iwaizumi think you were pretty after all this time?

Eventually, he finished what he needed to do to close up the gym: he wiped down all the machines and ensured everything was organized for the morning shift. He grabbed you by the wrist and practically dragged you out of the gym, having an unusually tight grip.

“Dude, what are you doing? I know how to walk,” you tugged your wrist away from his hand, rubbing it. “You’re acting weird. Did something happen when you were cleaning up? “I just don’t want you to stray too far, that’s all. Keep close to me, or else I might end up killing somebody.” he shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweats, making his way to the car. He was weirdly protective over you, but it only bothered you slightly. 

Having your big, strong best friend wanting nothing more than to keep you safe in a parking lot was…well, it was sexy. Iwaizumi was sexy, and he knew it. You wondered if he knew that you thought so, too. How, when you were in high school, you would daydream about him pinning you against the wall and kissing you until you couldn’t breathe. How your mind would wander in college, staring at him from across the dining hall, watching as he unconsciously flexed his biceps in such a way that made you swoon every single time.

With his hand wrapped protectively over your shoulder, he clicked the keyfob and unlocked his car. It was a larger vehicle, boasting proud rims on the tires. “You can get in the passenger seat. I have snacks in the glove compartment if you’re hungry.”

“Since when do you have snacks in the car?” you sat in the passenger seat, buckling up. “That doesn’t seem very healthy, Mr. Personal Trainer.” you giggled, making air quotes. 

He playfully rolled his eyes, getting into the driver's seat. “I have to drive long distances for work sometimes. So, to keep me sane, I keep little snacks in my glove compartment. Granola and crap like that. Protein bars.” 

“Oh, so snacks that aren’t actually snacks?” you winked. 

“Shut up,” he clicked his seatbelt in, revving the car. “Do you wanna choose what we listen to or not? Also, type your address into the GPS while at it.”

“Or I could look through your messages.”

Iwaizumi shot you a glare. “Don’t even joke about that.”

You giggled, typed in your address, and then opened Spotify. “You have a lot of playlists. Why?”

He shrugged his shoulders, flexing the muscles. Fuck, he was so fucking sexy. “I dunno, I guess I just have one for every occasion. When you’re working with Oikawa, music typically helps,” he smirked, raising an eyebrow. “You can pick from any song on any playlist.”

“Then I choose this one,” you selected OHMAMI, handing him back his phone. “It’s from your playlist that has a heart emoji as the title. What’s that for?”

Iwaizumi felt his face become overrun with a blazing blush. His hands gripped the steering wheel as he pulled out of his parking spot, turning the car towards the exit. “Oh, uh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“But I wanna know!” you whined, crossing your arms over your chest. “C’mon, we just caught up a second ago, but you never kept any secrets from me.”

He sighed and bit down on his bottom lip. “Fuck, okay. Fine,” he took a deep breath. “It’s…this song is from my sex playlist. Specifically from college.”

Your pupils blew up, your hand immediately flying to your mouth to stifle a chuckle. “You have a sex playlist? And this is a song on it?”

“That’s what I just fucking said, didn’t I?” his face was red and anger and embarrassment. “See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you!”

“Iwa,” you tapped his thigh. “Sorry for laughing. It’s just that sex playlists are usually romantic and, no offense, but you never seemed like a romantic kind of guy.” 

He furrowed his brow. “I can be romantic, “ he made a sharp left turn. “I just haven’t had a reason to in a while, that’s all.”

“Aw, I’m sorry, man,” you pouted. “I’m sure someone will come along that can make you want to use this playlist again.” you smiled at him, flashing your teeth.

“Yeah, hopefully,” Iwaizumi sighed, stealing a glance at you. You were perfect, absolutely perfect. He was mentally kicking himself for not making a move. But then again, there was a sexy song playing, so the mood was set. Maybe you wouldn’t mind if his hand squeezed your thigh, dancing lower and lower. Maybe you wouldn’t mind at all. 

He continued to drive, the music from the stereo being the only thing to prevent the car from being silent. His mind wandered places: obscene, filthy places. He wondered what noises you would make if he ate your pussy out in the passenger seat. Would you taste as sweet as he imagined? Iwaizumi just knew your pussy was tight, how it would flutter around his cock as he bounced you up and down on it in the backseat, your hand flat against the roof of his car with the music blaring. He was so deep in thought that he neglected to realize the tent growing in his sweats. But you noticed.

Your eyes darted back and forth to his hard-on, squeezing your legs together at the sight. You suspected he was hiding a monster down there, and now you were sure of it. Surprisingly, Iwaizumi never got hard around you before today, at least not to your knowledge. It was like it was calling you to, desperate for your hands to slide up and down.

“Uh, Iwa?” you groaned, crossing your legs over each other. 

“Hm?” he didn’t take his eyes off the road.

“You have like…a huge boner right now.” you blushed furiously, cringing to yourself. Could you have chosen a more awkward set of words?

Iwaizumi choked on his breath, swerving the car slightly. He glanced down at his sweats, and lo and behold, he was hard. “O-Oh, fuck. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to happen.” he groaned, clenching onto the steering wheel once more.

You squirmed in your seat. “Hey man, don’t worry about it. You can’t control when you get hard, right? S’not a problem.”

He thought for a moment, mumbling under his breath. He canceled the navigation and pulled the car into a parking lot by an abandoned gas station frequented by local teenagers. Luckily, there was no one there right now. “I can’t,” he breathed in, refusing to meet your gaze. “I can’t control it when I’m around you,” he parked the car. “You drive me so fucking crazy.”

You squeezed onto the leather seats, your face still blazing red. “You’re telling me that I made your dick hard?” 

“Yeah, that’s what I just fucking said.” he groaned, unclicking his seatbelt. His eyes finally met yours, full of want. “You made me hard, princess.”

Princess. The nickname rang in your ears. Fuck, it was like hot honey rolling off his chapped lips. “Iwa…” you breathed out, gasping as he tugged on the collar of your shirt, pulling you closer to him. The center console was the only thing that separated you two. 

“Princess,” he whispered. “I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. Ever since you said, you wanted to punch Shittykawa in the face.”

“Really?”

“Really.” his eyes landed on your lips, beautiful and begging to be kissed. “I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. Please,” his hot breath grazed your cheek. “Please tell me that you want me to. But I’m warning you right now,” he kissed your burning skin. “Once you tell me you do, I won’t hold myself back anymore.”

A sensation began to bubble inside your belly, his words causing your core to throb with want. You parted your lips, wetting them with your tongue. “Iwa,” your voice was barely a whisper. “Please, I want you.”

Iwaizumi let go of your shirt, his eyes flaring with passion and lust. “Get in the backseat, now.” he growled, climbing over the center console. You eagerly followed him, finding a spot on his lap. His hands secured themselves on the fat of your hips, making sure you didn’t go anywhere. It's not like you wanted to, anyway. 

“I’ve been waiting for this for so fucking long, princess,” he groaned before slamming his lips against yours in a frenzy. His lips assaulted yours, greedy and shameless. Your mind became TV static, your lips dancing with his as if it was a reflex, as if you had done this a million times before. You moaned into the kiss as he groped you without a care, his hands slipping under the hem of your gym shorts. You gasped as his warm hands wandered, exploring you as if he was attempting to map out your perfect curves.

His hand was scolding hot as it ventured to finger the elastic, ripping the cheap fabric. He swallowed your surprised gasp, smirking into the kiss. “Fuckin’ cheap fabric,” he growled, his hand massaging up and down your panties. “I’ll buy you a new pair, don’t worry, your pretty lil’ head about it.” 

Iwaizumi broke the kiss, resting his head in the crook of your neck while his fingers continued their gentle dance across your clothed, dripping cunt. The digits ran up and down the soaked material, causing him to shudder. “Fuck, you’re this wet from just a kiss?” he groaned against your neck, the sharpness of his canines grazing the sensitive skin. He could have sworn he could hear your heartbeat coming from the veins. Your pulse was thundering, it was fucking addictive. His lips ventured up and down your delicate neck, leaving wanting, open-mouthed kisses in the spots that made you squirm so beautifully on your lap. His teeth nibbled down on your sweet spot, causing your hips to buck into his hard-on.

“Needy fucking girl,” his voice rumbled, fingers dipping into your panties to toy with your sobbing slit. You whimpered, resting your forehead onto his own as the calloused pads of his thick fingers teased your clit. “Fuck, you’re soaked. D’ya even need me to finger this pussy, or are you such a fucking slut that you’re this wet all the time?” his hands cracked against your ass. “Hm? Talk to me, princess.”

“Only you!” you yelped. Iwaizumi chuckled darkly, lifting his head from your neck to greet you with a blown-out stare. His eyes told you everything you needed to know; they told you that he wanted to fucking ruin you on his cock like he’s been wanting to all these years.

“That’s what I like to fucking hear,” he slapped your ass again, making you gasp and jolt. His lips quickly met yours once more as his finger bullied its way inside your cunt, curling inside without mercy or forgiveness. “Shit, you’re squeezing around my finger. Do you really need to get fucked that fucking bad, hm? Is my girl a little slut?”

“M’not a slut!” you sobbed, tossing your head back. Your hands gripped his muscular shoulders with white-hot-knuckle strength, making Iwaizumi hiss in pain. Not that he was complaining. He fucking loved it.

“Fuck, I can’t take this anymore,” he pulled his finger out of your weeping cunt, licking off your slick. “Ya taste so fucking good, shit,” he groaned, sliding off his sweatpants and boxers so that his cock could spring free. You moaned at the sight, taking in his magnificent length. He was small by no means necessary, boasting a lengthy and girthy cock with an angry red tip that was leaking precum. “Turn around and hover above it.”

You did as he instructed, pushing your ruined panties to the side so your pulsating core was just above his angry cock. His hands snaked around the small of your waist, pulling your flush up against his chest. “You’re gonna be a good fucking slut and let me fuck you on this cock, yeah? If I think you’re being too quiet for even a second,” his voice dropped to a deadly whisper. “I’m gonna fuck you stupid.”

“Iwa,” your words died on your tongue as his fingers were abruptly shoved into your mouth, making you gag.

“Don’t fucking call me Iwa,” he demanded, his cock teasing your entrance. “It’s Hajime now. Don’t be a dumbass and forget it when I’m breaking you on this cock. Am I clear, pretty girl?”

You nodded, tears swelling in your eyes. His fingers slid out of your mouth and back onto your hips, squeezing the fat. “Be a good little slut and take this cock,” he growled, biting down harshly onto your neck before slamming you onto his cock without mercy, refusing to give your tight pussy anytime to adjust. 

“Oh god, yes,” Iwaizumi moaned against your neck, bouncing you expertly on his length. His eyes were hooded with lust and desire as he looked over your shoulder. The sight of your pussy swallowing his cock was magnificent. Especially how you struggled to take his length, you poor thing. Maybe he’ll be nicer to you next time. “Do you see yourself, princess? That pretty pussy is swallowing me whole. Good fucking girl.”

You writhed and squirmed on his lap, helpless as Iwaizumi used you like a toy. His hands reached around to pull down your top, exposing your bralette to the hot atmosphere. He pulled your bra down as well, shamelessly pinching and squeezing your pillowy mounds as his cock drove itself inside you with reckless abandon. 

“Y’been hiding these perfect tits from me too? Naughty fucking girl,” his hand dropped your breast and smacked your clit, earning a shriek from your bruised lips. “Can’t believe I waited this fucking long to grope these tits, fuck. I wonder what else you’re hiding, hm?” his hips never relented, continuing their rushed and desperate pace in harsh and fast strokes. 

“You look like such a slut right now. God, I wish I could see that pretty face,” he purred against the shell of your ear, licking the cartilage. His praise was so fucking addictive, making you shamelessly clench on his cock. “Oh, y’like when I call you pretty? Get fucking used to it.”

“I’m gonna make you ruin yourself on me,” his voice rasped, the tip of his cock twitching inside of you. “You’re gonna cum all over this fucking cock, and then I’ll cum inside, yeah? No one’s ever gonna fuck this pretty cunt again unless I say so. Until your Hajime says so, okay, princess?” he smacked your clit again, gathering your slick on his fingers. “Who’s the only one that can fuck this pretty pussy?”

“You! It’s yours, Hajime!” you sobbed, the rest of your meaningless rambling dying on your lips as he shoved his fingers inside your mouth once more. Your tongue wrapped around the digits, tasting your delicious slick. Your pussy fluttered around his cock, trying to pull him impossibly deeper inside of you. You were so fucking greedy.

Iwaizumi snarled against your neck, fucking you even harder. His hips continued to snap as he drove himself deeper and deeper inside, the sensation of your pussy doing its best to milk him being all that he needed. “You’re gonna fucking cum, yeah? That’s it, princes, make a fucking mess on me. Get your Hajime all sticky with your cum like a good fucking girl.”

With Iwaizumi’s encouragement, you finally let go. You came with a wanton sob, the bubbles in your belly boiling over to send you crashing over the edge and into oblivion. You could have sworn you saw white. Iwaizumi fucked you through it, whispering sweet nothings as your release coated his cock. 

“Oh, shit,” he groaned into your neck, biting down once more on the bruised skin as his cock twitched one final time, his release spilling inside to fill your cunt up so nicely. “Good fucking girl, take it all.” his hands fell to his hips, slumping against the leather seat.

“Hajime,” you groaned, reluctantly pulling yourself off his cock. His cum ran down your ruined thighs, mixing with your slick. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that.” you offered him a weak smile, staring at your ripped and forgotten-about jean shorts. “Dammit, you ripped them! These were my favorite pair. And now I don’t have any pants!” you scolded him, hitting him over the head with the fabric. “We’re in a parking lot, and I have no damn pants!”

“Relax,” he sighed, pulling up his pants and boxers. “Did you forget I was driving you home? Besides,” he pecked your lips. “I’m coming over, and we’re gonna cuddle and shit. Whatever you want.” he blushed, not meeting your gaze. He was still scared of you seeing him blush even after you were so intimate.

“Whatever I want?” you teased. “You’re cute when you get all flustered, Hajime.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

[ohdeerfully]

hello there!

was wondering if I could request Alastor and reader having a debate over whether radio or the newspaper is better than the other (reader was a journalist in 1930’s New York in their past life). Heated debate that ends with fluff.

thank you!❤️❤️

hi thanks for the request!! honestly it doesnt really end with fluff, more just alastor being confused and also confusing, and im super sorry for that :sob: but i hope u enjoy it anyway!!! kiss kiss

What Would the Papers Say

Alastor x Reader (not explicitly romantic)

TW: none! join my discord!

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Alastor stood in front of you, a tight smile and narrowed brows decorating his face as he stood ominously over you. You swallowed, hard, as you had to crane your neck significantly to look him in the eyes. He waited impatiently for your words, his smile inching to become larger and more sinister by the second.

You took a deep breath and steadied your gaze against his, staring into his maliciously red eyes.

“Why can’t you just admit your wrong,” You said snidely, “The newspaper reached so many more people. And gave more people jobs. And was just better in general, really.”

Alastor laughed at you with closed eyes, something he would tend to do in arguments. He liked to make the other person feel ridiculous. 

“How wrong that is!” He snapped back, eyes settling on you again. “My dear, the radio had much more value. Could your rolls of paper play music? Speak to people? All I see is a boring, colorless, dry wad of useless writing.”

You balled your fists in anger, restraining yourself from getting physical. You wouldn’t be able to land anything, anyway, so there was no point in trying. 

“That ‘useless writing’ was my life’s work, you dick!” You spat, heart clenching slightly at the thought of him considering something so important to you useless. “Some people don’t like to listen to an annoying asshole yap in their ear for forty minutes!”

Alastor waved his hand dismissively at your attempt at an insult, his smile never faltering in the slightest. If anything, it grew wider when he saw your growing frustration. “But more people like listening to the asshole’s stories than reading the drab paper, no? News travels so much faster verbally! Why else do you think the paper lost popularity after the radio was introduced?”

You lost any response you had, eyes falling to the floor in defeat. Your stomach churned with unease, hating that you were losing an argument to Alastor. Yeah, it was hard to win against him in the first place, but it still pissed you off.

“At least we had fun comics to read…” You muttered in a weak attempt at a retort, folding your arms.

Alastor only barked a laugh in response, stepping forward and grabbing your chin with his sharp claws to tilt your eyes back up to him. He wanted to see your eyes glimmer with defeat, it was something he loved to see when he beat somebody in an argument—especially over something they were so passionate about.

However, his smile weakened by a hair when he saw your eyes, slightly shining with held back tears. You still had a look of frustration and you were confidently staring right back at him, but for once… he didn’t really like the look of miserable defeat. Not on you. 

Alastor’s grip on your chin dropped so fast, as if you burned him, and his eyes darted away from yours. His brows were furrowed in what you perceived as confusion, but the expression vanished nearly as soon as you recognized it. 

“Agree to disagree, then,” He said finally, looking back down at you through slitted eyes. He turned with a dramatic flourish, briskly walking away. He turned his head slightly towards you as he spoke one last time, “though, the radio’s never been used for fire kindling.”

Alastor did not like the way you made him feel. He didn't like that your grief made his own emotions go haywire. He was going to find out what it was about you that made him feel... weak, was it? He wasn't sure, but he just needed to get out of there.

You cursed at him, though he paid your words no mind. You could tell by the way his ear flicked in your direction that he had at least heard your frustrations. You finally let your confident face fall, and with a pout you traveled towards the hotel lobby. You needed a drink.

“Bold to argue with Alastor like that,” Husk gruffly commented as you sat down, slumping your shoulders. His arms were folded over his chest, and you awkwardly rubbed your arm.

“You heard all that?”

“You aren’t exactly the quietest.”

You sighed, resting your head against your palm and drumming your free hand against the bartop. “That’s embarrassing,” You said simply, chewing on the inside of your cheek. It wasn’t uncommon for racket in the hotel, but you typically held yourself to a higher standard than being the cause of said racket.

Even though you were upset about the argument, you couldn’t help but visualize that expression on his face when he looked at you earlier. What was that? Concern? Regret? Or were you just reading too much into it? And why did he leave the room so quickly?

You pondered over this as Husk slid a drink over towards you, the glass leaving a watery trail from building condensation. You gave him a small smile and silently sipped at it for a few minutes.

You tried to tell yourself you didn’t care one way or another what those emotions Alastor displayed were. He was a jerk. He put you down for what you were passionate about, and what you had dedicated your life too. What a dick. You didn’t care. Nope.

With a groan, you tilted your head back to finish the glass and nodded a thanks to Husk again before you made your way up the hotel stairs. Without realizing it, your legs seemed to take you to a particular floor and to a particular room that you would’ve rather avoided. You briefly wondered how strong that drink was that Husk gave you.

You held your fist up, paused for a few seconds, and then knocked. Why were you even here in the first place? You weren’t going to apologize. You opened the door yourself when you heard a faint ‘come in,’ slowly pushing it forwards and cracking it open just enough to peek your head through. Your eyes trailed around the room before you finally saw the demon in a bayou-like setting. 

Alastor was sitting leisurely on a metal chair, one leg thrown over the other as he sipped on a mug. His eyes were barely open as he relaxed, and you could only slightly tell that he was looking at you.

“It’s rather impolite to interrupt somebody’s alone time,” He quipped as you walked the rest of your body into the room. “Especially somebody you pestered and yelled at only an hour ago.”

You bit back an angry comment, and kept your breathing level. You shouldn’t let him get under your skin like this. You clenched your fists, but otherwise maintained a cool attitude. You walked towards the corner of the room, examining the scenery before you. You wondered if the forest was actually that big, or if the wall was just an extremely well illustrated illusion. It wouldn’t surprise you if Alastor was eccentric enough to manifest a whole bayou in his own room.

Alastor looked up at you from his seated position, though he still seemed incredibly tall even as he sat. He had a grin spread across his face, and his head tilted slightly at you.

“Need something?” He tried prompting a word out of you. You hadn’t said anything since coming in, and curiosity began gnawing at his thoughts. He was frustrated, truthfully, about the earlier experience he had with his own confused, jumbled thoughts.

You honestly didn’t know why you came to his room. You didn’t really know what to say. You weren’t going to apologize or grovel for forgiveness, and you knew he would never ever admit he was wrong, either.

“You know,” You started slowly, voice just above a mutter. “The newspaper and radio could’ve worked together… one doesn’t have to be better than the other.”

Both grin and eyes widened at your comment. A wave of Alastor’s hand materialized an identical chair across the table, and you sat yourself neatly—and, a bit awkwardly—when he gestured for you to join him.

“What a thought,” He replied, bringing the mug to his lips again. His comment didn’t really give you any insight to what he actually thought about your statement. Though, you should’ve guessed. He has a superiority complex so big he would never admit to anything being on an equal level to him.

Still, you smiled weakly at him. You watched as his gaze studied you, maybe a bit too intently, and you momentarily saw that strange expression shift across his features. Just as before, you barely had time to consider it before it vanished.

“Tell me,” Alastor said, leaning back into his chair. A mug manifested in front of you as he spoke, and with a smell you could tell it was your favorite tea. You wondered if he actually knew, or if it was just something he could do magically. “If you are so keen on the radio and paper working together…”

He paused dramatically, and you clenched your jaw in response. How aggravating his knack for showmanship could be.

“Would you care to make a deal?” There was a sinister look in his eyes as he said the words, his grin twisting up his face with his sharp teeth bared at you. You felt a prickling at your neck, a bit uncomfortable.

“I don’t really… want you to have my soul, dude,” You responded, fiddling your fingers around the rim of the mug in front of you. 

That sinister expression lightened, and he cheerfully waved a hand at you. “No, no, no,” He laughed, leaning forward and letting his elbows rest against the table. “No soul contract. Just… say, a mutually beneficial partnership. Radio Demon and Newspaper Demon. Interesting, right?”

“I… guess,” You replied slowly, considering it. Hey, if your soul wasn’t involved, what was the big deal? How much power could Alastor hold over you if he didn’t have your soul?

A lot, probably.

You shrugged. “Sure, deal.” 

Immediately after your response, a shining sheet of paper and an outdated quill appeared in front of you. You eyed Alastor warily as you took the sheet, reading over the terms of your deal. Honestly, it didn’t seem that bad. It only really iterated your loyalty to him, and in return he’d give you the same. 

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this was a weird attempt at courting you. Weird.

Your eyes moved back to Alastor, who was watching you intensely. He had that strange expression once again, and it was starting to frustrate you. Why did he keep looking at you like that? And what did it mean? The room was silent for a few moments, save for the flickering noise of the ever-present radio frequency that followed the demon in front of you.

You took the quill, signed, and after a dramatic flash of light the paper was gone and you saw Alastor sitting with his eyes closed in an overly pleased smile. He clapped his hands together for a moment, before settling his sharp gaze on you once again.

“Well, my dear,” He leaned his chin on top of his hands, which were clasped together. He had a dangerous glint in his eye. “Mind if I take you for lunch to celebrate our new partnership?”

[nixthelapin]

A Jekyll&Hyde type akuma whose power is to bring out a hidden or repressed part of your personality (but like, making two of you instead of switching in one body), and when Chat gets hit suddenly there’s both “normal” Chat (I’ll get to that in a sec) and Cat Walker/Patte de Velours at the same time.

(Cue Ladybug freaking out upon learning they’re the same person)

“Normal” Chat looks the same, but is just a bit more intense (since this is Adrien’s way of “letting loose” to not be how he is as a civilian, he’s not too different, but because of the split he does lose some usual traits). I.e. *heavily* flirting with LB, going at it with the puns, more agressive and impulsive with the akuma, doesnt like following orders (especially with the remaining feelings of anger towards the partnership being put further into question as LB prefers CW), heart on his sleeve

Cat Walker is also not super different to the episode he was in, but is also more intense thanks to the akuma: all business- no nonsense, doesn’t laugh at jokes (even in a “I’ll laugh if you want” way, like in Kuroneko), cordial to LB, follows LB’s orders to a T (to the point of not making his own decisions in battle), calm and collected (almost emotionless, even with that plastered smile)

CN starts to hate CW as the fight goes on, because LB seems to prefer him (and she’s understandably getting annoyed with CN’s impulsivity). CN gets territorial, saying that he’s LB’s partner. CW: “then why did she replace you with me?” (Man, look at all the self hatred in Adrien’s psyche!)

So CN runs off and leaves them alone to fight the akuma. This ticks LB off even more, but she has an akuma to deal with- and she has CW- so she lets him go.

As the fight goes on, some of the same issues from Kuroneko occur, so she also gets frustrated with CW too.

Since he’s acting more extreme than normal (more like someone awaiting orders than a partner due to the Jekyll&Hyde thing), it causes more problems (like him waiting for her decisions leaving openings where he could’ve done something proactive)

She actually blows up at him, asking why he didn’t do anything (“I was waiting for you to tell me the plan!”), and she says he should be able to think on his own, he doesn’t need her to tell him everything, but- “I thought I was just being what you wanted.”

(He’s shocked and genuinely hurt- though it’s still pretty quiet emotion, subdued and apologetic)

And that’s when it clicks for her what becoming CW was back in Kuroneko. He was molding himself for her. And this version of CW is even more of that. She realizes just how much CN suppresses, not just for her, but for everyone- why else would this be a major aspect of his personality?

(Also, Patte de Velours? Velvet Paw? That’s basically saying he’s been declawed. Yikes.)

She makes CN get his butt back to the fight (or she finds him- he may have been doing something while away like talking with someone, maybe Alya or Nino, or Luka). CN and CW argue more, with insults. Then she goes on a whole rant/lecture to them about how important they both are, both to her and to each other, how they are one person, and their traits are both important, but each extreme is not great. Ex: instinct/impulse and service/obedience (the key is self control, so that your emotions aren’t controlling you, but neither is another person). He is allowed to be both! Neither personality is bad, and hating one is just hating himself- he can’t just reject a fundamental part of himself.

She makes them agree to work together to defeat the akuma. It’s awkward at first, but they get a rhythm by seeing where each one is needed in the plan (LB does still do that, but how they follow is more fluid now). Two cataclysms now! Yay! (Maybe they used their powers already and have to de transform, and they see themselves as Adrien- the same one, not different, and it gets through their skulls. Idk I’m spitballing).

They have a quick talk between the two about accepting each other, it won’t be easy, I’m nervous, we’ll be okay (“yeah, I think we will :)”), etc.

Ends with them combining back with the ladybug cure. Surprise! His outfit is combined too! (Honestly, I just want the ponytail with the fluffy hair)

LB and CN have a talk after recharging about everything. CN apologizes for lying about CW and explains why and how he did it. LB didn’t realize how much he hid. She never meant for him to change or hate parts of himself. He thought she didn’t like the CN parts of him, but LB promises that isn’t true. She admits she did get… annoyed, but never hate! She loves both sides of him. Besides, CW didn’t work out that first time, remember? (Though she very much leaves out her intense crushing being the deciding factor there)

CN admits he feels more, well, not whole, exactly, he’s actually still pretty uncertain about what all this means for “who he is,” but… he can at least say he feels less like he has to perform all the time. He loves being Chat Noir, but he is exaggerating a bit when he transforms, in part to be not like his civilian life. He tells her he’s not like that as a civilian, but he’s also not like Cat Walker. But he’s not really sure who “he” is yet. (What I’m getting at is Oblivio!Adrien- dorky, but not over the top, in love, trusts his lady to make the plan, but is still proactive, etc.)

LB says that’s okay, he doesn’t have to figure it out right away. But she’ll be there to help him figure it out.

END

[420technoblazeit]

I think you're right that the otherization is kind of the point but it becomes a more valid criticism in the later seasons where I feel the writers really lose the vision and start to treat hunting like some super cool heroic dream job where sam and dean gun down anything that doesnt pass the vibe check and then pat themselves on the back for being the good guys who save the world

no youre right. unironically as supernatural went on it became less political and that was definitely a bad thing. i was specifically talking about early show spn bc if i remember correctly the op of that post mentioned those plotlines. to me hunters as a concept worked best when they were intentionally written as emblematic of the flaws in american society, as eric kripke originally intended. there's a reason why a lot of early show hunter culture shares traits with military culture, for example. and i think the fact that john was a war veteran is very important context for understanding his motivations, especially in how he raised sam and dean

as much as i love seeing different kinds of hunters in the later seasons (love u garth miss u garth) their appearance coincides with the loss of discussion of yk. just how flawed america is and that's when the show starts to lose it's spirit to me. like that merch you see everywhere with the tagline 'join the hunt'. hunting wasn't originally meant to be seen as something you wanted to do. becoming a hunter was often a decision made out of grief and a consuming desire for revenge. hunters dont even live to thirty sometimes and they all know it, you quit or you die. that was the point

[goodolddumbbanana]

Do you know who else is a cannibal AI? Dark Sun. Babygirl eats his own brother to gain his intelligence and maybe because of out of spite.

Btw, I see something very intriguing about the episode today.

1. Moon seems to trust Sun a lot, compared with someone who never shares anything with Sun in the past.

Okay, it's kinda hard to explain but the way I see it, Moon and Sun truly are twins. They understand each other in the deepest level and without saying anything, they still find some way to know what each other wants in some of these important moments.

We both know Sun understands Moon a lot. About what he thinks, how he works... Sun might not know about all of Moon's secrets, but it doesn't stop him from knowing exactly how his siblings feel or think in the present moment. (Like how Sun predicted that Nexus might hurt Freddy, or how Moon has a lot of back ups, or Moon's code...)

But, we forget that Moon also knows a lot of what Sun thinks. (Maybe not as much on an emotional level, but still)

That is why Moon knows Sun was lying to him about killing BM, that is why despite all the bulls Moon put Sun through, he still knows the exact words that make Sun forgive and forgive him again and again. And that's why, Moon locks Sun in the invisible cage, because Moon knows Sun will snap out of it later.

(Still not justified Moon's actions though, Moon still treats Sun like crap and gives Sun tons of trauma. But what I try to say is why Moon did that. Because in some ironic nasty mental state Moon is at, Moon subconsciously thinks Sun as invincible, the one despite everything, would never break down.)

And that is why, though Moon downgrades Sun's intelligence a lot in the past, he always counts on Sun when it comes to saving him. Moon knows what Sun's capable of, and is not afraid to use it for his own advantage.

(making Sun learn magic in the shortest ever time that I have seen to kill Eclipse v1; predict Sun will lose control and Eclipse come out to kill the Guards, never doubt Sun can kill BM, just shock that he lied to him; and the newest event, Sun saves Moon from Creator without they two even interact. )

Different from Nexus, who seems like little brother for Sun to me, who only asks Sun for help because there is no other choice.

He doesn't understand boundaries when it comes to pranking much (joking about Roxane Wolf, pushing Sun go to speed date, nonchalant sometimes about Sun's hallucinations,...);

He is kinda co-dependent with Sun when it comes to emotions levels (Almost spilled the bean that he wants to sacrifice someone for Solar, saying Sun is the light of his life, almost hesitant when Sun says he disappointed at him, seemingly only care it would hurt Sun's feeling when Sun and Moon move to the new house, asking Dark Sun to be his brother,...) and feels the need to protect Sun from everything. (Working with Solar instead of Sun, taking charge of the last blast that killed Eclipse v2, believing Sun will hurt himself for some sacrifices nonsense, care more about Sun's feeling and health than Nexus would ever be.)

Sun also takes care of Nexus more compared to Moon. (Take care of Nexus since day 1 he wakes up. Always stay on Nexus's side when they get yeet into Ruin's dimension. Knowing Nexus has some problems, and ask it indirectly without any information that tell Nexus has gone mad. (Earth has Eclipse to inform her, Monty has caught it red handed, only Sun who doesnt know anything, feel like something went wrong.)

With Nexus, it feels weird. Like there still has some disconnected between them, like they are not synced together. Sometimes because Sun gets caught too soon, sometimes because they are separated. Most of the time when they stay together, it is surprising that while Nexus is the smarter in the duo, Sun usually takes charge of talking (Eclipse v2, Ruin Monty, Creator..). And that is why it makes me feel bad because it seems like Nexus works better with Solar.

And with Moon, Sun has done a lot of dirty work for Moon, both when they were shared the same body and when they are separated. Sun is truly the brawn while Moon is the brain. Sadly that Even though they know they care about each other, They rather die than say it in others' faces, which leads to them only saying things like 'i love you brother' when they almost die. They are totally in sync with each other, and I think these are some interesting things to notice.

2. Creator seems like Sun more than Moon, although he downgrades Sun a lot.

From all the people l, I noticed that only Sun Creator never threatened to kill him. (Earth, KC, Lunar, Solar... Sure but never Sun.)

He straight up re-programmed KC when he turned good, he threatened to hurt Earth because she got in his way and didn't listen to him anymore. He wants to dismantle Lunar and seeing Eclipse like a annoying flies that he didnt pay attention too much. And today, he almost straight up killed Moon if not because of Sun.

Something strange about how with Sun, Creator always talks about how others would get hurt if Sun doesn't do what he says but not him threatened to kill Sun, not in a single episode.

(One when Creator trapped to forced checked Sun's code; and one when today.)

We can see In the episode today, due to Creator 's speeches, Moon is the one un-finished. I think in the start Creator only wants to create Sun with the KC but then he realizes Sun getting too smart may be out of control for him, so he separates the AIs into 2.

Because when Creator seemingly talks bad a lot about Sun, he just straight up doesn't care about Moon. He thinks of Moon as some obedient tools that he created and easily disposed of when it causes too much trouble. He usually called Moon as a violent beast, something can't control.

But with Sun, he seems to take some unexplained interest in him. Not in the way he can use Sun for something, but in some strange father and son relationship.

Don't believe me, okay, let me explain.

Creator called Sun's cats as his grandsons. Creator like trolling Sun because he likes seeing Sun squirm. Creator helped Sun when Moon got yeet in the portal.

(It may be because Creator has some hidden plans for Moon, but it still does not explain why he said Sun was lucky because Creator gave him a family. )

Furthermore, Creator checked Sun but not Nexus. He seems to like to interact with Sun more than Moon, and says that only because Sun is more easily manipulated and weaker than Moon.

But we both know that is not true. Sun is not afraid of Creator. Sun sasses him more times than I can tell. And he also has not threatened Creator once, but twice and maybe third times. He is also really good at reading Creator's intention, and can ask him some questions that really hit the chest and make Creator have to go away.

The relationship between their two is really interesting because it seems like to some degree, subconsciously, Creator truly thinks of Sun as his son, or at least, someone too value to be disposed of right now.

And sure, Moon has Creator's biggest ego and his intelligence, and Earth, while she is the nicest person that I know, still has a bit of ego and selfishness, (which is good for her thought, have some boundaries for herself) but Sun, I feel like there is more to tell.

Because with people Sun really hated, his tones changed. He does not stutter, or nervous. He speaks slowly, and puts his threat down as a promise and waits to see if the other is going to throw hand first or not. He is also very good at reading people, and can see what others don't see. And things he predicted often turn out to be true. (Like how suspicious that he feels at Evil Earth Dimension while Nexus seems nonchalant)

And with Dark Sun like some twist reflection of a future that Sun no longer cares about anyone. We can see how cold blood and different Sun can be. And how good at reading people and manipulating it for his own advantage Sun can be. Dark Sun and Creator share the same way of thinking, of looking at the big picture, of overlapping plans and projects.

All of these characteristics while it does not feel like they come from Creator, but from his partner, I still think some layers of Sun have Creator's trait in it. That might be the reason why Creator love to see Sun suffer so much but still be concerned if Sun truly dies.

Sidenote: Something is biting Creator's ass right now. Because he seems very eager. Wonder what will happen on July 16th

[xiaonyc]

Digital detox diet: how to clean up photos

Im tidying up my phone today and had trouble figuring out what i need to keep and throw away, and where to even start. Its a mess! But i started anyway and my icloud can finally back up. Theres more i want to clean but i made a good start and set some simple parameters to help:

Delete:

✿ bad photos: photos taken badly, have higher standard for myself for photography and improving at it

✿ repeat photos: when you spam photograph and leave all 20 photos, just go through and pick the best 1

✿ photos that dont bring me joy: Any remaining that no longer bring me joy: friends im no longer close to, when i feel ready I can let it go

✿ screenshots: if its of something i can write down, write it down instead to save space, otherwise if its screenshots like receipts or temporary photos that served their purpose: delete

✿ internet photos: drawing references i no longer need (i can always look it up again), inspiration that ive outgrown

✿ personal work: keep the minimum documentation (at highest quality), delete process photos that served their purpose

Mindset:

✿ Be ready to confront yourself at various stages of your life while clearing digital clutter, meaning reflect on past experiences, "embarrassing" photos of an old you, appreciate your growth, keep what warms your heart, and let go what has served its purpose. Its all part of your journey.

✿ Don't hoard out of fear: hoarding is fear-based: "i need to keep all these 20 photos in case i lose one, what if i forget about this experience and never experience that joy again"= fear-based. Instead,

✿ collect and curate: what you want to remember and what is important to you in THIS MOMENT while appreciating in your heart the experiences that led up to it

✿ Digital clutter is still clutter like physical, we can just cram so much of it into a harddrive that it doesnt seem that way. But it still takes up mental space, so do your best to free up mental space by putting in the work to tidy up

Lastly so the effort doesnt go to waste:

✿ Back up phone to computer or harddrive (not cloud)

Thanks for reading ♡

[nekropsii]

im thinking about the relationship between kankri and porrim because its just so fucking WEIRD like theyre obviously important to eachother or care about eachother to some extent but we dont really know why?? like they dont seem to get along very well

she patronizes him constantly (which is VERY loaded considering they lived on fucking beforus) and ignores his boundaries (calling him patronizing nicknames he doesnt like, wiping his face while he tried to push her off) and he constantly makes insensitive bitchy bigoted comments that go against all of her values and make her angry

and theres not the same dynamic dolorosa and signless had where she raised him like theyre the same age so why do they even talk to eachother?? what is their relationship?? like were they childhood friends or something?? itd make sense if they were both a little different as kids and therefore got along better but then why do they still talk to eachother when they really dont now ITS SO WEIRD

It's... Complicated. They go way back, as far as I can tell.

The way I see it, they do not have a "Mother and Son" relationship- I find that most who assert this often place far too much maturity onto Porrim, who is literally 19 years old. It's more like an Adoptive/Found Sibling relationship between someone with a severe case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and the social conditioning of a higher-end Midblood on Beforus, and someone with a chronic case of Only Child and the social conditioning of a Mutant Lime on Beforus. The relationship makes more sense to me when you view it this way. It's just... A fraught sibling relationship, formed under societal pressures we can't even fathom. Porrim Maryam, trained by society to cull those beneath her, trying hard not to, and for the most succeeding outside of someone very close to her, and Kankri Vantas, culled and isolated his whole life, becoming a total suck-up to the deeply misogynistic, ableist, hemoloyal culling system as both a method of self defense and as a wielding of the only weapon he really knows. It was used against him all the time, and it works, doesn't it? If sucking up to Able-Bodied Male Highbloods and ridiculing everyone beneath that golden standard is the best way to ensure safety, then he's gonna do it. He's essentially a lifelong voter for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

Ultimately, I think what keeps Porrim by his side is that... I think she believes in him. It's like watching yourself lose your sibling to the Alt-Right Pipeline. I think she thinks he doesn't actually believe most of what he's saying, and that this is all deeply reflexive. She's smart enough to recognize the real systemic issues at play here, and that he's essentially caught in chains between 5 different machines that all want him dead. And she's right. When you actually read the shit Kankri's saying, it becomes almost immediately apparent that he's spouting bullshit, and that he absolutely knows this. I think what keeps Kankri by her side is that he knows she cares about him. There isn't any denying it. She might infringe on boundaries, or be generally annoying to him, and keeps doing that frustrating little thing called seeing through his and everyone else's bullshit and calling them out on it- not just including but especially his- but she cares. I think he knows that at the end of all things what he'd have left is her. Is this to say that if you got Kankri to grow a spine and genuinely believe in things that aren't spoonfeedings of the latest Conservative Highblood Talking Point/Psy-Op, he'd be a good person? Hell no. No way. He has a raging savior complex and is way too eager to throw other people under the bus and insult/ridicule them to their faces. He's an asshole. Just completely slimy.

But, again, sibling relationships know no bounds. This kind of dynamic just feels so... Realistic to me. The way their relationship is so strained but still so strong and ongoing just feels so human. I don't know. This is pretty meandering, I just think about them a lot.

[moonssalad]

Am I the only one who is disgusted by seeing how many people actually seriously excuse Rhysands fucked up actions?

I have seen so, SO many people talking about how he hid the truth about Feyres pregnancy from her and always excuse it by saying how he didnt want to stress her out 💀. Or that he was looking for a way to save them before he told her, like he shouldve told her right away. And how he told the IC about it before he even told Feyre and told them to keep their mouths shut too and even worse is that they fucking listened to him, like what the fuck?? And how always in discussions about only Rhysand keeping it from Feyre people always start talking about how Madja didnt tell her either, like dude this is a conversation about what an asshole Rhysand is and not about Madja, keep to the topic! And how people hate on Nesta for telling her, like fucking hell. Ive even seen people say that Rhysand not telling her is AS BAD as Nesta telling her to hurt her or whatever. Its just insane, I think I lose braincells every single time I see posts like those 🤯. Feyre literally says throughout the books multiple times how she hates when people choose for her or dont tell her something because they think it would be too much for her and Rhysand literally keeps one of the most important things from Feyre.

Also what the hell was that bullshit about Amren saying how Rhysand should be High King? Hes literally one of the worst options for it. Bro cant even handle 2/3 of his court 💀. And lets so many people suffer in Illyria and Hewn City even though he has had CENTURIES to change something. Honestly none of the IC even try to change something about the Hewn City, like are you seriously telling me that Mor was the only person who was good in that shithole? Whats even more insane is how Mor doesnt change anything about it when she had LIVED THERE for years and now has the power to do it! And Illyria, Cassian seems to be the only one who is actually trying to make it better even though its not really working. Why the hell cant healers heal wings but can heal someone whos guts are basically spilling out?? Hell why the hell doesnt anyone know about c-section? Just insane. What the hell does Rhysand even do for his court? Just sits on his ass and thinks only about Velaris? Because it seems like that.

And am I the only one who was mad how Rhysand chose to show off Feyre as if she was his plaything in the Hewn City. Like yeah yeah keeping up appearances or whatever but how the hell will they see Feyre seriously after that? I think Feyre was in the Hewn City two times and the second was when she was High Lady and Rhysand got her to sit on the throne after the first time he showed her off as his toy. You cannot convince me that the Hewn City residents take Feyre seriously and its all Rhysands fault.

Talking about keeping appearances, the whole 'mask' thing is so stupid. When someone doubts the IC intentions they have the fucking audacity to be mad about it as if they arent the ones who made sure eveyone thought they were all incredibly evil.

I dont even want to start talking about UTM and how fucked up it was.

People always say that he does things like these because he is 'morally grey' but to me hes just a toxic asshole. You dont write a 'morally grey' character and then excuse every fucked up thing he has done, its just not how it works.

Rhysand is literally the worst MMC ever and its insane how so many people say how wonderful he is, how he is the man of their dreams 💀, fucking worried about yall if you seriously think that.

Feyre should take Nesta, Elain and Nyx and get the fuck out of there because they all deserve so much better than this.

[malwaredykes]

honestly tbh leigh's relationship with the ncr is REALLY funny because. she hates them. she has 0 allegiance to them. she doesnt help THEM she resolves matters in ways that often happen to benefit them in some way or simply prevents needless loss of life, but it never is about them and aside from that shes always stealing, sabotaging, disrespecting them, turning people against them, encouraging members to desert, putting their legitimacy into question, especially the legitimacy of them being in the mojave in the first place, and exposing their ineffectiveness. she has 0 intention of venerating The Republic that she comes from. she thinks its hilarious that anyone should take that stuff seriously.

but she ends up being a celebrity to them. because crocker likes her despite everything, and hsu likes her, and because shes from new cali but important in the mojave, and because shes done stuff like calm things down in the freeside and help at refugee camps and retake nelson. which makes her even more of a problem in a way. if she were Only a nuisance thatd be one thing, theyd just put a bounty on her. but shes a celebrity. she has a status in new vegas and in the ncr. shes kind of untouchable. and her crimes and sabotage can never quite be proven. of course to the higher ups theres having proof and theres Knowing. shit only gets worse when she and her buddies storm the legion fort and kill caesar and free a bunch of slaves because like. this strengthens her vip status AND is absolute humiliation to the ncr. like they cant take the credit and instead they have to live with the fact that what a lot of them dismissed as some upstart with a bunch of clueless locals backing her did something they never couldve achieved. "oh this was pretty much an angry mob of townies and misfits" yeah and they got caesar in his own fortress. shes out there making the ncr look like shit and pointing people to seeing the ncr as the problem and yet she never does it in a way that she could be prosecuted for. by the time the ncr realizes shes a lot of trouble they also know they would lose a TREMENDOUS amount of support if they did something to her

like shes never openly hostile. she never provokes open hostility. shes not Openly Antagonistic to the ncr but its not exactly a secret shes got something planned and would like them to leave. young ncr recruits seeing her are like Omggg ma'am its an honor!!!! ^_^. there are officers and rangers whod be REALLY appalled if you said anything bad about her because Well she sure has done a lot more for us here on site than any of you government people. and that was her goal. that is the game shes playing. folks youll eventually realize its not the ncr that has done good in the mojave despite its flaws, but yours were the hands doing the work, and all the reasons one might consider ncr good or necessary are within you, Are you, the people who joined hoping theyd make a difference. folks youll realize that the ncr has to lie and obfuscate and make bullshit orders and directives to maintain claim over that good work and whitewash its own crimes. folks, i have this ex-ncr friend here. do you know what the ncr got him? complicity in atrocities (lyrical miracle), ptsd, apocalyptic thinking, countless biases to unpack, hopelessness, enemies where he shouldve made friends. and so on. and do you know what he got from *me*? a chance to actually do good. a chance to question those false beliefs of his. a friend. new opportunities. 40 rolls of duct tape. new rifle. lots and lots of soda. TWO toy trucks. and an apple. just ask him

[neobora]

I need some advice please…so here it is since 2020 that I manifest my db, I went through a lot of methods of all kinds like many people, but without ever. Normally, when I was not feeling well, I was able to encourage myself. I discovered not long ago the states, it changed a lot my vision of things and I was very optimistic at the beginning but recently I am more and more complexed with my weight/body and the sun starts to come back so I have to buy clothes (which I didn't do anymore because of my complex for years) even if I feel good in my 4D, I have the impression that my 3D catches up with me. I get depressed a lot I don't know what to do anymore I feel like I'm missing out on my life by dint of hiding… I'd like to lose 16kg, I know it's not the kind of state I should be in but right now I just really need advice… thanks <3 :(

"i have the impression that my 3d catches up with me"

waitwaitwait…. i think this is your problem. you need to stop giving the 3d so much power and seeing the 3d and 4d as separate.

the 3d is your mind reflected. it always reflects you. the 3d is not something you HAVE to be afraid of! no one is doing that to you but yourself. it just shows you what you assume within. don‘t try to force a change in the 3d, you can only change by changing SELF. i know what it‘s like to constantly be scared of the 3d and worry about it. even when you‘re 'trying to manifest' but at the same time you are scared of what the 3d shows you, you can never really fulfill yourself.

here i explained that you need to identify with the INNER MAN. right now you are doing the opposite, you FEEL like you are stuck in this outer world with circumstances you don’t like. but that’s just tricking yourself into forgetting who you are at your core: the inner man. you are always the creator, no matter what, you constantly create what you see in the outer world. you create assumptions, fears, doubts, worries etc. but that does not mean you have to FEEL them and identify with them! once i became aware that i don’t have to FEEL like something i see outside or hear in my mind is true, i stopped caring about the 3d. if i do not feel (identify with) it, it‘s not important to me and doesn’t say anything about me.

i think fear is what stops most people. "but what if xyz happens? what if it doesnt work? what if…." where is all of that happening? in your mind. and who has complete control over your mind? YOU.

this is something you can do when the fear hits that i discovered while i was really struggling: make yourself aware that you are creating ALL OF THIS. then instead of forcing the fear away or forcing good feelings, let the fear pass over you while identifying with the inner man and see that even though it is there, you do not have to identify with it. when i did this the fear turned into pure freedom and adrenaline after a while, it was such an insane experience ngl. it felt so good and freeing. i think i‘ll make a separate post for fear sometime to explain it further.

from there you can fulfill yourself in your imagination without the constant fear nagging you. but it‘s important that you stay persistent without falling back into old states or identifying with your doubts. you created them, remember? you can choose what you feel. what‘s helpful here is seeing the 3d as a dream or (literally) as your mind. if you see something you do not like, remind yourself that‘s not you anymore and you already KNOW you have all you want because you are the creator. you don‘t have to feel urgency or ask "where are my desires?" because you already have them IN IMAGINATION, in your mind, the only thing that gets reflected.

[anittam]

ToT Theory: We Already Passed The Prologue, We Just Didn't Realized It

Hi, nerds! I been on a break from playing tears of themis, bc for a while it stopped being a game I enjoy playing and started feeling more and more like a chore, but recently I started playing again, so I think I will start posting again, so yeah.

Yesterday when I got home from work, instead of my brain helping me relax, it kept bombarded me with abstract and useless concepts, preventing me from sleeping, and just like that, this theory was born.

Warning: Crack theory (I meant it), and spoilers.

I have no clue of how long you been playing tot, but let me tell you something, early game tot fandom were fighting for the lives, because of the game's prologue, that shit was crypted (I not sure if I used this right) as fuck, for no good reason. Trust me when I say, people were losing iq points trying to get some sense out of this.

So many theories were made, some saying that vyn was the villian, rosa was a traitor or amnesiac, stuff like that, but what most theories had in common was that the prologue happend somewhere in the future of the game, that eventually we would do a full circle and go back to the begining of the game.

So here is my sleep deprivation theory on this subject, the prologue happended somewhere between the blossom chapter 4 and the first year anniversary.

Hear me out, at this point of the game I fully I believe that the dream sequence was really a dream, and not a trance vision. Rosa, our sweet sweet Rosa, just received love confessions from her four good male friends, and she doesnt know what to do, she is overthinking and overanalyzing trying to decide who she should chose, because she likes all four of them in a romantic way. She is thinking about it so much that she even started dreaming about it.

In the dream sequence, she sees the boys, Luke, Artem and Marius, and its connection with them, being represented by 3 objects.

If you paid attention to the blossom chapters, you would realize that thoses objects where thing that represents Rosa getting closer to them, by the way, all of those objects where introduce in the first blossom chapter (I think is because the writes just had a general ideia of the way the story would go so they just putted there in the beginning so they wouldnt have to think to much about them). The 3 objects were, luke's box, which is a central point to his personal story, a painting Marius gifted Rosa, and a bouquet Artem sended to Rosa (I know the flower is not the same, but the change is to represent Rosa's feelings at that moment).

These 3 things, although important in helping Rosa and the ones she loved build a strong relationship, it also brings her sorrow because of her indecision. Because she cant possibly love four people at the same time, thats insane, and cruel on them.

But anyway, after that she sees herself in vyn's office, and he say some weird shit, which phrase referring to one of the boys.

Luke: he talks about the chest of memories, rosa spent 8 years think about luke, what she did wrong, why he abandoned her, just for him to throw some bullshit excuse at her, in luke's first bithday card, Rosa say that she hated luke, but she cant stop loving him. But since he came back, she started to learn more and more about him, and his new life, and she is not exactly thrilled. When it come to she and Luke, there are trust issues, that are very hard to overlook, but they learn to work it out.

Marius: he talks how Rosa pretends to be okay and she is not, and that my friends is a recurring theme in their relationship. And not only her, but Marius is the same, they are constantly trying to not let the other know whats going on, they put on this facade of "im fine, dont worry" which just let the other more concerned. They have communication problems, but as the story they learn to be more open, and properly communicate their needs and concerns.

Artem: this part is the most used in "Rosa is a traitor" theories, because vyn talks about standing by your convictions but betraying your heart. And seeds of this happening was already presented in cannon storyline and in the Artem's personal story, in chapter 3 of the cannon story, Rosa strongly believes that the law is wrong, because if mother killed to save their child, they shouldnt be punished. And Artem's blossom chapter 2, Rosa wants to go against her clients wishes and push her to put her husband to trail for domestic abuse. In both scenerios, Rosa show herself to be a very closed mind person, and if she thinks somethinf is right, she would stand by it to the very end, what ends up causing friction between her and Artem. But in the end she give up her ideials, to do the "right thing", and that is her greatest conviction, doing what is right, she doesnt always agree, and sometimes she gets hurt in the process, but she done right nonetheless. Alternatively, it could also mean, think she has to choose one boy, even if she likes all four.

And after that she start feeling overwhelmed, she is in pain, and vyn makes her go to sleep again.

Now, what about vyn? What is his part in all of this? Since they barely touched on the hypnosis subject on the game, we could link this to one other moment in the game, in vyn's blossom chapter 4, Rosa witness vyn hypnotizing a pacient to help her realize that the one she loved was only using her, which left an impact on Rosa. Maybe her subconscious thought that such practice would help her decided which boy she should choose, but that didnt help her, just left her more confused.

And then she woke up. Without having her response, and still not knowing who to pick.

And this is my theory.

[nanaloco]

Being bestfriends with Jeno

'You know, I think I like you'

Warnings : none (I only write fluff)

Genre : fluff, Bestfriend!Jeno x Gn!Reader

What it would be like to be best friends with Jeno ( who secretly likes you)

Disclaimer, I'm not claiming I know anything about them, this is pure fiction for fun :)

• Your friendship is almost like a sibling relationship

• Like twins

• Not in a weird way, you two just act like you are

• You always look out for eachother,

• Will always stand/sit next to eachother

• Move in sync and sometimes say things at the same time

• Bicker a lot and share the same mannorisms

• It's just because you two hang out so much and  you soak up eachothers personalities like sponges

• So you're both kinda a mix of Y/n and Jeno

• It's gotten to the point where your friends (the dreamies) question it

• 'Theres no way you two didn't grow up together'

• Despite the sibling dynamic, theres always some sort of tension between you two

• Too many almost kisses to count

• And shyness every now and then

• Jeno is overprotective of you

• A hand behind your back in crowded places

• If you ever pop to the store real quick during a group hang out, you'll always bring the other their favourite snack

• 'Im jealous, why can't Y/n bring me food everytime she goes to the corner store like she does for Jeno' - probably haechan

• 'Theres obvious favouritism here'

• He's probably the person you call when something bad happens

• 'Jeno, I've just bumped the back of this persons car wtf do I do'

• 'Jeno I need to take my car to the mechanic please can you come with me'

• 'Jeno theres a cockroach under my bed!'

• 'Theres no more icecream in my fridge'

• No matter how ridiculous it is, he'll come running

• You and jeno probably end up on the same side in group arguments, not because of eachother but because you both agree with the side you're on and more the less think the same

• You two have matching shiba inu plushies, his is the black one and yours is the orangy beige one

• Tries to get you to be active with him, will try to make it fun,

• 'If you go on this 1 hour bike ride with me, I promise I'll get you food after'

• 'If you hike this hill with me, and make it all the way to the top, I'll buy you your favourite expensive meal everyday for 2 weeks BUT if you fail, you have to join me on my wednesday morning jog everyweek for 2 months'

• His over protectiveness took new heights when you got pushed to the side by an old man trying to get to his bus late at night

• And his idea of a solution was to hold your hand at all times

• Which slowly shifted from late at night coming home from the gaming cafe you all stay at late at night

• To the grocery store

• To school and the cantine (if u want to imagine you 're in school / uni)

• Essencially, he started holding your hand everywhere

• For safety, because you always are losing your balance

• That's a logical solution right?

• As long as it's not infront of the dreamies it's fine right?

• Until one day you two showed up to your meet up spot, holding hands

• 'Somethings not right here, Jeno and y/n came here TOGETHER, HOLDING HANDS!?'

• 'Well maybe we did'

• Jeno just shrugs, not letting go of your hand despite your loosening grip

• As you guys are just walking around, Jeno would just turn to you and say

• 'You know, I think I like you'

• Leaving you in absolute SHOCK from the sudden confession

• The thing about Jeno is that he's a very direct person

• He doesnt beat around the bush with things that are important to him

• And he's willing to put in the work for however your relationship changes

Just wanted to add this picture because jeno is such a cutie

Thank you so much for reading 💕💕

Requests are open literally spam me!!!!

[hiemaldesirae]

Swap AU:

Val wasn't too slow, he didn't come at all to Vox's distress call. He thought Vox could handle it. He spends the first 4 years as Alastor's thrall dead, as do most of the soul that Val owns. (Angel included.) Killing Valentino and the souls he owns gets old, however and sinners are getting tired of the same old pornos, so Valentino gets to go back to work, but thanks to their multiple horrible deaths, Valentino and his contracted souls are alot closer. They even have a discord server dedicated to bitching about Alastor. Now that Vox is back, they've added a sever dedicated to getting pictures of Vox for Valentino so they all don't die horrible deaths--and also, Valentino rewards everyone with every new picture with a raise of 50 dollars, so it's nice incentive.

Alastor on the other hand beside killing Valentino and his contracted souls for the first 4 years, made a shrine with Vox's heads--except for the very first one. That one he slept with. That one remain's in his (formerly Vox's) bed everyday, waiting for Alastor's return everynight so he can curl around it and murmur the words he never got to say to his beloved Vox one last time.

When Vox returns, Sir Pentious joins the hotel because Vox has always been his favorite of his favorite of the Vees, and if he's joined another Overlord and started something else, the Sir Pentious will try it out!

Angel Dust is there because he doesn't want to go through the absolute HELL the first 4 years under Alastor was, he wants no repeats. No one Valentino included DOES!

Husker actually loves working with Vox, and loves sending smirks at the very pissed off shadow Alastor (not knowing Alastor is watching from the Shadow's eyes.) and the side hugs, the cuddles, Yeah, they might piss off the Shadow and Alastor even even more but he deserves it--Vox still has nightmares about his near death.

OHH okay okay i see. that clarification. Actually made things 1000x worse for me actually im gonna throw up. this val trusting in voxs abilities to the point where it made him lose one of his best friends for years vs show val jumping to vox the moment that it became clear the other couldnt hold his own..... so sickening what the hell. the guilt that val must feel in specific for voxs disappearance and presumed death- honestly hes probably glad for dying so much those first four years because it took his mind off the fact that it was HIS fault all this happened to vox and him and vel. i just want an oddly tear filled reunion scene with the two vees where vox is like "i thought you guys just didnt think i was important enough to come help" and voxvel start actually bawling bc theyve missed him so much and theyre so glad he's back and *safe*. also the discord server inclusion is hilarious as hell thank you for that mental image nonny

oh my GODD thats actually so sweet im gonna be sick. i just know those former heads are kept clean and swept everyday both by niffty and alastor himself, and the one in his bed is probably propped up by all the most comfortable pillows while alastor himself just goes without a pillow.... WHAT WORDS. what FUCKING words if it was i love you ill actually just implode on the spot nonny ill get raptured and itll be all your fault /lh

+ pentious finally gets an audience with his idol! aww this is so sweet im gonna get cavities. hopefully he doesnt get hit with the kys this time but oh well if he does cause i support my wife committing crimes

Also. Vox having nightmares about the time he nearly died.... do you think that he has like ptsd flashbacks or something everytime he sees a radio. im gonna be SICK fuck oh my god. do tou think ohe day he just . meets al again and immediately tries to run away or something while the other hotel members go to his defense because they know the shit hes been dealing with from al....

p.s. nonny are you planning on turning this into a fic or something anytime soon? because if not.... can i write one based off these ideas 🥹

[pacifymebby]

hi, can i request peaky blinders reaction to reader coming out? i'm doing mine today and i'm kinda scared of my friends' reactions :( feel free to ingore my ask if you don't feel comfortable writing it!

Aw hey! First of all I'm sorry i think u sent this last week? Im only just seeing it!!!

I hope your coming out went well and that your friends showed u all their love and support. (u have all my love and support)

I'm bi, but i never had an official coming out I just sorta awkwardly would say gay shit in conversations until people just accepted that i was queer haha.

Tommy

🌿 You've been close with Tommy for a little while, working at Shelby Company Limited. He took a shine to you in a way neither of you really understand... Anyway the point is you feel like you can trust him, and because of that you feel guilty for keeping this a secret

🌿 You're so nervous to tell him and actually he's been thinking you've been being odd all day. You keep looking at him funny, like youre about to say something, like youre really thinking about saying something... But you haven't said anything yet and its beginning to worry him

🌿 So when he feels your eyes on him again he doesnt even look up, he just carries on writing, "alright y/n i can tell youve somet to say so why dont you just say it eh... What is it? You have a problem with how I spoke to Lizzy earlier? You don't like Michael? You think am dealing with these Italians incorrectly? Come on what is it?"

🌿 You're completely stunned and your heart starts racing in a panic as you stumble your way through "what? No i mean... You were pretty harsh on her weren't you but... Wait Michael? What? And I... I don't know how i think you should be... Why would I have an opinion on..." your cheeks are burning as you realise youre losing control of your voice, getting flustered and making a fool of yourself, but worse than that, Tommys looking at you with a smirk on his lips, leaning back in his chair, hands folded over one another on the desk.

🌿 Tommy probably already knows what youre going to tell him, because he has eyes everywhere, and because he himself is observant. Hes seen the way you look at women/men... He knows what you are but he doesn't care. He just wants you to tell him so that he can tell you he doesn't care, that it doesnt effect the way he thinks of you. That you'll always be welcome at the Shelbys.

🌿 Just because he knows doesnt mean he's going to take your moment from you, he doesnt know why but he feels its probably something you need to say out loud, to him, no interruptions. Your sexuality might not be a thing that concerns him or even really interests him but he understands it as an important thing for you, something you need to feel confident taking ownership of... So he just waits quietly.

🌿 When you finally say it he sits quietly still, he nods his head, he lets you believe that this is news to him, he doesnt tell you he already knew.

🌿 "Well," he says calmly, "I'm glad you've got that off your chest y/n, and am touched that you trust me with this information..." he's a little awkwardly formal about it, because he doesnt want to make a big scene or embarass you, but he doesnt want to make you think he isnt bothered...

🌿 "You know who you love, thats your business and nobody elses, and I know the world doesnt understand that yet, but I do, and my family do, and youll always be welcome where the Shelby family are concerned... Youre part of this family y/n, this doesn't change that... "

🌿 Youd feel so relieved and also so loved and accepted. Youre glad Tommy didn't get too dramatic about it, youd been worried he'd get angry at you for having kept it a secret so long... But his calm presence was reassuring and you feel secure.

Alfie

🐻 Alfies noticed you've not been yourself for a few weeks now, hes getting worried about you because you seem much more nervous and mousy than you used to be... He's worried something bad has happened to you that youre trying to hide from him.

🐻 So he calls you into his office one day, gets you where you can't escape him (because every time hes tried to talk to you recently youve managed to avoid a real conversation and ducked away from him)

🐻 You feel like youre in trouble whenever he calls you into his office but you feel worse just now because you probably are in trouble. You can't stop thinking about this big secret youve been hiding. It isn't fair, it shouldn't have to be a secret. Other people don't have to hide when they fall in love...

🐻 Alfie is wearing his usual frown, he looks mean, grumpy, intimidating. "Alright y/n treacle I think you an me need to have a little talk yeah... Just a little one don't worry don't worry i won't keep you long... Know youve probably got somewhere to rush off to, thats all you seem to do these days... Rush off places... Run away from me... Feel like we haven't had a proper conversation in weeks and well you know me... Miserable old sod, spend all me time on me own... Been starting to miss you haven't I treacle so..."

🐻 Youve always been so impressed by the way Alfie can talk and talk and talk his enemies into a nervous sweat but you arent really feeling appreciative of it just now. Actually youre beginning to sweat yourself. Now youee sure you're in trouble.

🐻 But youre not. And Alfie doesnt know... Even though you think he must know, he doesnt have a clue. His concern is completely genuine. He thinks his friend is hiding something, some kind of trouble, and he wants to help you if he can...

🐻 "So come on then treacle, why don't you tell your old pal Alf just what's goin on.. Why ain't you stopping by anymore? Why am I missin you?"

🐻 You think about lying to him but only breifly because you know he will be able to tell.

🐻 And when you do tell him your voice is shaking and you're convinced he's going to turn on you, be digusted, all the negative thoughts youve had about yourself bubble to the surface and you can barely keep it together...but

🐻 He just does a big sigh of relief and youre just looking back at him confused.

🐻 "Well i must say treacle I'm a little relieved..." "W.. What... Alfie I just... That was so hard to tell you and youre... Youre relieved? Why are you relieved? This is..."

🐻 "What? This is what exactly treacle? I hope you aren't going to say bad cause well, you and me both know that that, well that just ain't true is it..."

🐻 He'd give you a whole speech about how you shouldn't think badly of yourself, that your sexuality is completely valid, love is love ect, "its a miserable old world we're doomed to live in, why deny yourself the one joy god gave us eh..."

🐻 "You know I've been worrying about you treacle, i thought something really bad had happened to you... Thought you were caught up in some bad shit... Italians or peaky boys shit you know? But this... Well... Treacle I'm happy for you..." "You're happy for me?" you look back at him a little dumbfounded, still a little shocked hes taking it so well.

🐻 "Thats right, I'm, thats me Alfie yeah, Im happy for you, thats you y/n l/n... I'm happy that you've found some understanding, and I hope that you can find some happiness and peace and... And i hope you stop lookin so worried all the time... Come on, cmere, give your old pal a hug,"

🐻 You're getting bear hugged to hell and back.

Arthur

🍂 I'm not going to lie, Arthur would be confused at first... As in not, what do you mean why are you gay? But more, i don't understand, why are you telling me that?

🍂 Really really tries to say the right thing, says the wrong thing.

🍂 He'd get so flustered because he knows this is a big and important thing you've told him and he needs to say exactly the right thing to show he loves and supports you...

🍂 But he's terrible with words and even though he's trying really hard it's all coming out wrong and he's getting embarassed and confusing himself, tripping over his words and stuff.

🍂 But its lowkey endearing seeing him trying so hard for you, thats always been how you've known arthur cares about something or someone because he gets embarrassed whenever he has to show it.

🍂 He'd tell you that if anyone else doesnt accept you or says anything "homowhatsit" about you, you tell him their name and he'll sort them out. No ones gonna bother you about this.

🍂 He'd end up just giving up, giving you a hug with one of those awkward male clap on the backs, then he'd ask you why you chose to tell him this and not "someone smart like Ada" and when you tell him its because he's your best friend and you needed him to know first he's very touched, gets embarassed all over again. Secretly very proud.

🍂 Probably waits until you've come out to Ada and then goes to her to ask her what he should have said. She laughs at him, tries to tell him he probably said the right things in his own way, but he insists he has to say it properly. So she practices with him and lets him rehearse it with her..

🍂 Then when he tries to take you asside and tell you it all over again he does exactly the same thing as before and messes up all head in hands "sorry love I'm so fuckin stupid with words an you know all this... Feelins like.."

John

🌼 If you're a lass he's definitely making the "what you mean you don't fancy me then? Thought that was the whole basis of our friendship..." joke which makes you roll your eyes and knock him with your elbow.

🌼 If youre a lad, "and youre telling me this because naturally you're in love with me eh...knew it nobody can resist the..." youd cut him off with a shove and a shut up and then he'd laugh and say sorry

🌼 "only messin mate..." as he puts an arm around your shoulder.

🌼 He'd be very supportive of your coming out but he wouldn't want to treat it like it was too "serious" or really acknowledge the dangers it posed to you.

🌼 He wouldn't want to talk to you about those dangers or think about them because deep down he'd be incredibly worried for you and his mind would be working over time to think how he can protect you.

🌼 He'd probably start spending more time with you and you'd end up jokingly reiterating the fact that you don't fancy him he should leave you alone

🌼 But he'd be like "used to spend this much time with you, nothins changed don't be daft"

🌼 Wants to meet any man/woman you start seeing so he can vet them and make sure theyre good enough for you

Bonnie

🍀 Being your best friend he's very in tune with you and he's quite sensitive to a change in your mood or behaviour.

🍀 He's kind of always suspected you might not be straight because its always the girls that seem to get you shy and not the lads. When you're with him and the other lads you're confident and you speak your mind but when one of the pretty girls joins you get quiet, he's caught you starring so many times...

🍀 And so when you tell him he's really really really happy because he's been waiting for so long for you to realise who you are and stop being scared or ashamed of it. He was worried for a long time that you'd keep it secret your whole life and make yourself miserable.

🍀 Literally, youre shaking with nerves and hes just sat there grinning like a stupid little boy on christmas. He can't wipe the smile off his face and why should he? He's so happy for you and so proud of you.

🍀 "Brilliant, thats brilliant, youre a wee star! Brilliant..." you get shy and remind him you havent actually found a girlfriend yet but he completely ignores that point. "Yeah but you will soon won't you youre a heartbreaker in the makin i reckon..."

🍀 He'll get even more protective now when lads hit on you because he knows for certain their advances arent welcome. And once other people start to find out, if anyone says anything, to your face or behind your back Bonnie has the temper to knock them down and make sure they never say anything again.

🍀 He wants to meet anyone youre interested in, hes always trying to wingman you... Just wants you to be happy!

🍀 If he thinks you're crushing on someone he'll tease you about it so badly!

Isaiah

🐀Similar to John, if you're a girl, he's going to make that joke. If you're not and you say he's not your type hes actually going to be a bit offended. Its really going to wound his stupid ego and he'll have to try not to sulk about it.

🐀He obviously isnt making said jokes to belittle or not take you seriously, its friendly teasing, he wants to put you at ease and make you laugh.

🐀 He knows what its like to be a minority though, to have something people treat him like "less" for. So he's empathetic and will stand by you no matter what. He'll make sure you know that it doesn't make you a bad person, that its not you thats the problem.

🐀He knows youre worried about what other people will think so he tells you, "doesn't matter what other people think are gonna think, first thing people see when they see a peaky blinder, is a peaky fuckin blinder..."

🐀Will try to talk to you about women as if he was talking to a lad... Which is embarassing as hell for you and makes you visibly squirm... Which he finds very funny.

🐀He's actually really proud that you chose to tell him first and he gives you advice on how to tell everyone else... Honestly none of its that good, most of it sounds silly or embarrassing...

Michael

☘️ Honestly out of all the blinders i get toxic masculinity/homophobic vibes from Michael the most because he's the only one who hasn't experienced growing up as some kind of prejudiced against person BUT

☘️ I think he'd change for and because of you... See any snide comments he'd ever made, any judgemental things he'd said, he wouldnt ever have thought they were hurting his friend!

☘️ You're genuinely terrified to tell him and jt probably slips out in the messiest way possible... He says something about someone else being an *f slur and you very sharply counter with "whats so bad about that... Dont see how its any of your business is it..."

☘️ He'd get defensive and youd argue about it and when he tries to turn it on you with a "Don't see how its any of your business what i think of..." "Because thats me you're talking about! Every fucking time you say something like that you're hurting me Michael!"

☘️ Teary explanation and him immediately going quiet, guilty, he didn't realise and he feels terrible for hurting you like that.

☘️ It might take him a day but he'd apologise to you, he'd tell you that he might not understand but he wants to be there for you, it doesnt make you a bad person, nothing could stop him from loving and caring about you... He will probably really uncomfortably admit that its his problem and not yours

☘️ And then he'll be your biggest cheerleader and defender, he'll support you as best he can, he'll become a better less judgemental person, driven to become kinder because of you and realising how wrong he was before.

☘️ It will take time but even in the awkward beginning he wont let you doubt his love/care for you as a friend.

☘️ "You're still my best friend y/n you always fuckin will be and nothings gonna change that, and anyone... Anyone at all ever says any of that shit I used to come out with, to you or about you, I'll fuckin kill em..."

☘️ The way hes suddenly the fastest to shoot down other peoples homophobia. If he sees Isaiah or someone else laugh at a homophobic joke he'll shove/hit them to shut them up.

☘️ He can tell when you're crushing on someone and will be fucking brutal about making you talk to that person. Coming up to you at parties and lightly bullying you into flirting with them.

☘️ "You going to stand here staring whistfully at them all night or are you gonna grow up and talk to them?"

[hanasnx]

Read all your asks about the IWMFLY au and i cant stop thinking about what the reader might think if she knew why he married her. Like, she know he loves her, but if its just platonic love, i dont know...what would she think?

Platonic love is by no means less important than romantic, but the reader, if i understood right, loves Logan, platonically AND romantically. I would personally freak out about this, i would lose my mind trying to understand why he married me if he didn't love me like that. To me, marriage is something deep lovers do, and this would bring me to shreds.

The reader loves Logan and Logan loves the reader, theyre just two different kinds of love...but its much more suffering loving romantically someone that doesnt want you like that...and in marriage, its much worse.

As i said in one of my previous ask, i think the reader in this situation is going to burst out into tears every time the touch briefly AND everything he says "i love you" too her.

Sorry for the long message, i just want to share my thoughts on this.

i appreciate that you read all the asks about it! that makes me so happy actually to see someone so interested, i loved that u shared all your thoughts with me i wanna hear everything

reader’s not completely clueless on all this. she may try to hide the truth from herself, stay in some safety of denial but logan’s never touched her even before marriage so there’s a level of suspect to it. she’s got hope it’ll change, but it dwindles with passing time. there’s not a way for them to have a conversation where he outright says that what he feels for her is completely platonic, it would just never be in the cards. logan wouldn’t know how to say it and he also wouldn’t say it. reader wouldn’t pry bcos she’s not, by nature, a pry-er. part of why this drabble works and can afford that air of open ended mystery is bcos the characters as themselves work for that goal

for now, i haven’t devised a direct conversation about it, but i doubt logan would be able to understand the depth of his feelings for her enough to put it into understandable words—if he’s even capable of voicing deep feelings like that at all

reader agreed to this marriage too. agreed to being protected, agreed to staying with logan no matter what. it’s not that she expected to be untouchable, and is now unhappy with that circumstance, but that she had a different set of things to worry about at the time of the proposal. now that those worries are gone, she’s moved on to worrying about being unwanted sexually which is a completely normal doubt to have in ur life. the drabble takes place in the very beginning stages of overcoming it

people can get married for any number of reasons. ppl can get married for tax benefits, for hospital rights, for life insurance claims, for platonic friendships, etc etc you don’t need some deep inherently sexual and/or romantic reason for getting married. there are no rules. only consent

if it helps, i don’t even think logan says i love you. and if he does, it’s very very special occasions. he knows it’s a heavy phrase to say, and he doesn’t like saying it unless he’s ready and the time is right. so at least the reader you described wouldn’t be spontaneously bursting into tears a lot