#if one of these is you and i don't have you tagged please let me know so i can add your tumblr name | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lxcalmenace · 1 day

Text

Some silly scenarios with bluelock boys

Based on this headcanon post

Characters included < Isagi, Bachira, Nagi, Rin, Sae and Kaiser > X gn!reader (separate)

tw: none?

⟡Isagi Yoichi - Gets into twitter discourse.

After what felt like months, it seemed that yours and Isagi's schedules had finally aligned. You entered his apartment and made your way to the living room to greet Isagi; just then you saw him sitting on the couch, a furrowed expression crossing his face and his phone in his hand. He was aggresively typing and scrolling on his phone that he failed to notice you taking a seat next to him.

"Oh shoot I didn't see you, sorry", he mutters as he shifts, allowing you to sit comfortably.

"Are you seriously arguing on twitter?," was all you said that made Isagi look away in embarrassment. Ofcourse he didn't want to admit it straight away but he was indeed losing the said argument.

"You know you don't have to prove anything to anyone right? And who even takes twitter seriously nowadays?"

You watched as Isagi let of a small huff before turning off his phone. Without a word, he pulled you in a gentle embrace as the rest of your evening blurred out into soft giggles and tender moments.

⟡Bachira Meguru - Very willing to eat inedible things.

You have been waiting to buy those food inspired scented candles for God knows too many days now; until finally, you managed to get your hands on one of them recently. It was a pancake inspired candle. It was so realistic that you could barely tell it was fake—if it weren’t for the wick sticking out of the top, you might have thought it was an actual pancake

As you opened the box, the mouthwatering, sugary smell of pancakes hit you, spreading throughout the room. This candle was too realistic and just like that, Bachira was willing to sink his teeth into the wax block.

"If it smells so good, it has to taste good too! Let me have just a bite please [name]," he whined. Bro dropped to his knees begging and pleading in exaggerated desperation- as if he would've perished due to hunger right then and there. You couldn't help but chuckle at this sight.

"Ok fine...A little bite won't hurt, but don't come complaining to me later," you sighed as you surrendered the candle to Bachira.

Disgust. Pure disgust washed over his face after he took the bite. He looked at you with teary eyes as he desperately tried to get rid of the nasty taste of the wax; which in response, you just shrugged in a 'I told you so' manner. After helping him wash his mouth and feeding him chocolates to counter the unpleasant flavor, you both finally settled down. Bachira swore that he wouldn't eat anything weird after this incident.

He tried eating cotton the next week.

⟡Nagi Seishiro - Uses two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

Nagi was out shopping for some groceries while you were tagging alone for some snacks. It was a sunny day, you both entered the supermarket; Nagi took the basket as you made your way inside. He thinks shopping for basic necessities is a hassle and thus the reason for you tagging along to keep him company. You were free to get anything you wanted so you looked around the store, but nothing caught your eye. So you decided to go back, you spotted your tall boyfriend and made your way towards him. He was in the hygiene isle, eyeing down some shampoo bottles.

"Do you seriously use 2-in-1 shampoo? -" you ask, raising your eyebrow. Nagi looked at you with an unbothered expression as he shrugged, "Uh, yeah. Been using that since forever"

"Why are you asking me this, something wrong with it?" the tall male added while casually putting another bottle in the cart.

"Your hair is always so silky and soft; Its hard to believe that a simple 2-in-1 could give you those results. I mean, people spend a ton of money on haircare products, to achieve what you have, you know?" you replied.

"Then, thanks to my genes, I guess," he smirked as he turned around to look at you. You couldn't help but sigh and let out a chuckle. There was absolutely no point in arguing with Nagi- He always managed to win, even when he wasn't trying. You raised your hands as if you were surrendering, and then you both made your way further into the store.

Nagi is a simple guy, and slowly over time, you are starting to find comfort in his simplicity.

⟡Rin Itoshi - Plays roblox.

"Rin, dinner's ready, come down!" You yelled from the kitchen whilst serving the food on the table. A few unresponsive minutes passed, so you decided to fetch Rin yourself; thinking he might be in the shower or taking a nap. Making your way to the shared bedroom, you knocked on the door before poking your head through.

There he was, sitting on his gaming chair, with the lights out, playing..roblox..? You observed him for a couple of minutes, his face was illuminated by the screen, ever so unfazed; Rin was too immersed playing The Mimic that he failed to notice you slowly creeping up on him. The only time Rin was caught off guard was when you tapped his shoulder to get his attention. You swore you saw Rin's face go pale for a second as his eyes widen in surprise. "You play roblox?," you asked as you raised your brows in amusement.

He took off his headset and he nodded, "Is dinner ready?"

"It is"

"Alright"

You both stared at each other.

"Can we play Dress to impress later? Rin please-"

"NO."

Few moments later, the dark haired striker was seen playing Dress to impress, all the bright colors and outfits flashed on his screen display.

"You're doing incredibly well, who would've thought you had those designer skills in you Rinnie," you teased him

"Oh shut up...I just don't like losing, ok?" he scoffed but there was a small smile creeping on his lips.

You rolled your eyes playfully, knowing very well that he only agreed to play this if only you were ready to join him in his horror games. It was a win-win situation for both of you.

⟡Sae Itoshi - Had an emo phase

Your phone was buzzing for quite some time now so you finally decided to check who was texting you at this time of the night. Sae was on his way home from practice; Deciding to stay up and wait for him to get home, you layed down on the couch while keeping a random movie playing in the background. As you opened the chat, you couldn't help but burst into laughter- There were old pictures of Sae; eyes lined with eyeliner, hair was dyed dark and swooped to a side and he was wearing dark clothes. You saved all the pictures one by one as you swiped for more, that's when you heard the door open- signaling that Sae had returned home. Quickly turning off your phone, you were trying so hard to contain your laughter, but a giggle escaped your lips.

Sae muttered a small, "What are you up to [name]?" before raising an eyebrow at you. He knew that you had something cooking up due to the way you were smiling at him.

"Sae," you purred, "if hypothetically someone were to leak your embarrassing pictures, what would you do?" you grinned.

You watched as Sae's expressions went from neutral to that of pure horror.

"[Name] don't you dare-" he warned.

"I'm not saying that I have any embarrassing pictures of you tho," you replied, "It was a hypothetical question, unless," a smirk formed on your lips as you looked at Sae. "You never know what could happen next."

His eyes widen in disbelief, he knew that you had something against him. "Fine, I don't have the energy to do this. Tell me what do you want," he sighed, giving up. "But atleast show me these hypothetical pictures you have acquired, and where did you even get them from?"

You giggle as you showed him all of the pictures; to which he openly cringed hard. He was definitely not expecting this. It brought back so many of his memories before going to Spain. He sighed as he accepted his faith and made his way to the bedroom to freshen up. You typed a quick 'Thank you' and sent the chat.

"Rin reacted '👍' to your chat."

⟡Michael Kaiser - Sleeps in till noon

'12:27'

It was past noon. You had finished making breakfast, eating it, doing some chores around the house, watering the plants, having a small snack and watching a few episodes of your favorite show, and yet your boyfriend was still in your bed, sleeping peacefully. You would've chalked it up to him being tired, but he had gone to bed exceptionally early too. It was starting to concern you now. What if he was not feeling well? You made your way to the bedroom and entered it silently. There he was, soft breathing and sleeping peacefully. You sat down beside him and gently touched his forehead to check if he was sick. Everything was fine. You decided to run your fingers through his messy bed hair, untangling any small knots. Michael slowly started to stir and the first thing he did was kiss your hand, which made your lips morph into a small smile.

"Good morning, mein Schatz," He mumbled groggily, "What time is it?" he asked while rubbing his eyes. He let out a yawn as he sat up your bed

"Its good afternoon now, wake up Micha," you continue to run your fingers through his blonde locks as he embraced you, still feeling sleepy.

You pat his head, "C'mon have your lunch, you must be hungry."

"Are you on the menu?" he muttered against your shoulder.

". . ."

"Then no, I dont want to eat"

"Michael no-"

Not proofread so ignore any mistakes and ty for reading !!

174 notes · View notes

winchester-with-wings · 1 day

Text

Training Room Tension (Wolverine x f!Reader, smut)

Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!reader

Summary: Training is just another form of foreplay between you and Logan. That's why no one trains with you guys anymore. It's just awkward.

Tags/Warnings: 18+, smut with a hint of sappy love and security at the end, dirty talk, taunting, unprotected sex, biting, spanking, rough sex, Rest In Piece(s) to your undergarments hehe, takes place in the X-Mansion, reader is some type of invulnerable mutant like Logan.

Word count: 2400

Author's Note: First time writing in forever! Praise be to "Deadpool & Wolverine" for bringing back my love and lust for Hugh Jackman. Wolverine in particular is one of my first loves. Shout out to by Bitchachos for reassuring me this obsession was okay. Love you guys! Thanks for reading and thanks to @pagesofivy for the title suggestion! I'm picturing older, thicker Logan from the 70s cuz of that mirror scene iykyk. But also love these XMen gifs. Ah hell I can't pick a favorite. He has aged sooooo well.

Hope people enjoy this and please don't be afraid to let me know! Words of Affirmation is my love language. LOL

I made a wolverine sideblog too because I want to reblog everything Logan and D&W related hehe ----> @feral4wolverine

Mobile Masterlist

The team rarely trains with you and Logan in the same room anymore. For a good reason too. Sure, in short exercises, they can manage you guys. You're both part of the team after all, but the longer training scenarios, they'll make do without. They just know their feral, indestructible teammates will do their part in the real world fights.

Because as much as Logan admires your strength and determination...he also cannot stand it. You're stubborn. You're defiant. You're a tease and he can't take it anymore.

“You’re slowing down, babe, and pulling your punches,” you tease, dodging his swing and sweeping his legs out from under him. He hits the ground with a loud thud. He rolls over, grabbing your ankle before you can get back up. He drags you along the mats as he stands. “Ah, nonono!” you laugh, your arms waving and trying to get a grip on the floor. You get your other foot under you and turn yourself over trying to kick or hook your leg around his neck to take him down.

It doesn’t work this time but at least he lets go of your foot. Back on even ground, you’re swapping blows, punches, and blocks. You curse almost as much as he grunts.

"Run that pretty little mouth one more time," he growls, his arms interlocked with yours as he blocks your attack again.

"Or what, old man?" You push back, breaking his hold, your skin is slick with sweat and it gives you an advantage over Logan…in more ways than one. You’re slippery and fast and his reaction time is slower as his gaze lingers on every inch of exposed, glistening skin.

He pounces and were he not already so close, you would have been able to dodge him. Your feet don't have a chance to gain traction though as you scramble to get away. He swiftly grabs you by the waist, tossing you over his shoulder.

The action is fast enough that it steals your breath away. You're kicking and protesting as he carries you out of the gym. All the tech and weaponry in the Danger Room have borne the brunt of Logan's claws too many times, so the two of you have been banished to the school's gymnasium. Logan takes two stairs at a time as he carries you off in the direction of your shared room. It’s far from the student’s quarters and the walls are soundproof from back when Logan’s nightmares were more frequent. They’re all but gone since you maneuvered yourself into his life.

(It’s technically still his room only, but he was never going to ask you to move in, so you’ve just started sneaking things in and leaving items behind until it was obvious. You know he’s noticed and cleared space for your abandoned items in his dresser, closet, and bathroom. He’s just too stubborn to admit defeat. And you’re happy to spare his ego and let him be the one to finally mention it.)

If anyone in the mansion hears your grumbling and cursing, they tune you out–already accustomed to you and Logan bickering. Your protests die in your throat as you take a sharp intake of air when he smacks your ass, his large hand definitely leaving a stinging mark. If it's not already red, he may spank you one or two more times...especially if you mouth off.

Once in his room, he tosses you onto his bed but you bounce back up and try to shove past him, a half-assed attempt to keep playing cat and mouse, to make him chase you some more. He hooks you around the waist and throws you back on the bed, this time bearing down on top of you. His body is strong, solid, and heavy with adamantium as he pins you down, his chest vibrating with a growl.

"No more talking."

"Oh baby, that's not how I fuck," you moan and hook one of your legs around his waist. One hand grabs his ass, giving you leverage to grind against him.

"Such a filthy mouth," he snarls, his teeth grazing your jaw before he nips at your ear. His facial hair scratches at your skin, raising goosebumps along your flesh. Your nipples tighten and ache, desperate for his mouth.

"You love it."

His chest vibrates with another deep growl just before he claims your mouth, your lips smashing together hard enough that your teeth make contact, and your lips get caught in the crossfire. There's a brief taste of iron but whomever it belongs to heals quickly, the sting relieved as his tongue delves into your mouth.

"Can't...stand it...anymore. Can't take it," he groans as he kisses you. He pulls away just to kiss and bite along your jaw, down the column of your throat.

"Poor thing, powerless to resist me?" you keen, your breath hitching as he bites your neck a little harder, his tongue soothing it a second later. You grind your hips, answering with your own moans, proud of yourself for getting a rise out of him. Your nails dig into his back, definitely tearing at his shirt. He pulls his head back and hisses as the sensation rides the border between pain and pleasure. He reaches for you, his hands shackling your wrists and pinning your arms by your head.

"Be a good girl for once and don't move," he commands you, releasing your hands so that he can take off his shirt and rip off his belt. He yanks your pants down, getting increasingly agitated as he struggles with the fabric. With your shirt, he pulls it up until it bunches around your wrists, effectively shackling you. As for your sports bra and underwear…

"Nonono!"

SNIKT!

"Sonuvabitch!" you curse as he cuts the fabric with one of his claws. He just chuckles. He's slowed down just for a moment to drag a single claw down the middle of your sports bra, along the line of your cleavage. Your breasts spill out as he cuts the straps next. Your breasts are bared to him and he lavishes them with the attention you crave. You no longer keep your hands above your head as you card your fingers through his thick hair, pulling on it as you arch your back and press your breasts further into his hands and mouth. He bites at your supple flesh as his fingers knead your nipples into aching peaks. A mewling whimper escapes your lips as you roll your hips against him some more but his jeans are still on.

"Are you gonna fuck me, or do I need to get myself off?" you challenge him while biting your bottom lip. His answer comes after he slides a hand down your body and rubs your pussy through your soaked underwear.

"Nobody makes you come but me, sweetheart," he says gruffly, his own arousal evident in his voice before he kisses you again, deeply, passionately, possessive. He steals your breath away and when he lets you up for air you gasp, your chest heaving as he's pinned your breasts between you. You love the feeling of his chest hair against your skin.

"Then prove it…Bub," you gasp, surprising yourself and giggling at the use of the nickname. He shakes his head with amusement, only slightly cringing at your joke.

The next thing you know, he's sitting up, unzipping his jeans and ripping your underwear off without the use of his claws. (You don't wear your nicer panties when sparring with Logan is on the schedule.) The sports bra, you'd thought you could save. His dick is straining against his boxer briefs but you hardly get a glimpse of his perfectly thick cock before he's pushing inside you.

Normally, you like it when he fingers you first. When he stretches you out with two or three fingers while he tongues and sucks on your clit. You lament the opportunity for beard burn on your inner thighs but you’ll make up for that some other time. For now you’re just as desperate for him, as he is for you.

"Mmm fuck," he growls as he bottoms out. "So fucking tight. So wet. Love the scent of you on my sheets." He hunches forward, burying his face in the curve of your neck. He bites and sucks a mark into your skin. It'll heal, but at least the two of you will know it was there. You rake your fingers through his hair, pulling on it, your nails scraping his scalp. You wrap your legs around his waist, locking your ankles in the small of his back.

"Yes, Logan, yes baby fuck me. Fuck me hard. Make me come," you urge him on, trying to roll your hips to match his rapid rhythm, but you can't keep up. The sensations are intense and overwhelming, until you've lost the strength in your arms and you just let yourself go. You submit to him in every way, allowing yourself to be used for his pleasure just as you know your pleasure is his. "Fuck, Logan, I'm so close…" you moan.

Your body is languid, liquid heat beneath him, your skin scorching hot no matter where he touches you. He drags his big hands down your body, starting at the base of your throat, over your heartbeat, kneading your breasts before sliding them down your stomach and grasping your hips. Changing pace to long, hard strokes, he rubs your clit with his thumb as he raises your hips off the bed. Your hips start bucking like you're trying to get away from the intensity of his thumb on your clit, but he keeps pulling you back to him, thrusting deeper as you two battle for release. You cry out, coming so hard your legs are shaking. You reach out to him and he extends one of his arms. Your fingers dig into his forearm as you hold on, feeling like you could fly off the bed, but Logan has you. He'll never let you go.

"Ohh, fuck," he groans, his mouth hanging open and his lips almost pulling back to bare his teeth like an animal. His eyes roll back as he nearly loses himself to the feeling of your orgasm, the pulsing sensation of your pussy squeezing him tight. You keep rolling your body, pushing and pulling with your grip on his arm, drawing out your climax. His fingers dig into your hips. He finally bares his teeth, growling, his face twisting into a feral snarl. "Fuck, baby."

He pulls out suddenly and you cry, mourning the loss of being full. But then he flips you over, fast enough to elicit a startled giggle. His smug chuckle is lost as you end up face down on the bed. You're about to get up to your hands and knees when Logan slams back into you, going deeper from this position. You moan into his pillow, noting his own unique smell of leather, cigars, and pine. His hand holds onto your shoulder for leverage as he starts piston his hips at a rapid pace, fucking into you from behind, pressing you into the mattress.

“Don’t stop. Keep going,” you urge him on, knowing that the moment it’s too much for you, if you say stop, he will. “Oh my god, fu--I'm gonna come again," you whimper. He lets out a rugged laugh and spanks your ass...once, twice, and then rubbing your skin to soothe the red marks before he grabs your ass to help you push back and ride his dick.

"Yesss," he hisses, "Yeah sweetheart, let it go, come again. I've got you," he grunts, the words oddly sweet in contrast to the pounding you're getting.

Your next orgasm is matched by his. You can't see him behind you but you know what it looks like when Logan comes. You love the way his nose scrunches up, his head falls back and then rolls to the side like he's about to crack his neck. Then he shakes head like he's clearing his head from the fog of mind-blowing sex. His body shudders, all of his muscles are tense, flexed, rock hard. If you were on your back, you'd be kissing and nipping at his broad chest as you rake your nails down his abs. For now, you can take in the sight of him by straining to look over your shoulder. His thrusts stutter to a complete stop as he fills you up.

"Yes, baby…yes, feels so good," you pant, praising him. The corner of his mouth turns up in a proud smirk. He takes a few deep breaths and slides his hand up and down your spine. You fully sink into the mattress, boneless and spent, and he leans over you, propping most of his weight on his arms beside you.

Your breathing synchronizes as you lay there together. He peppers your shoulders with open mouth kisses and gently nips at the curve of your neck as you expose it.

"You like that, sweetheart?" he murmurs softly in your ear.

"Mmm, yes," you answer, "always." Your eyes are closed as you focus on the remnants of pleasure coursing through your body. You press your ass against him, earning yourself a few more lazy, taunting thrusts from him. He pulls out, his dick still hard and throbbing with a stamina unmatched by your own. You clench your legs shut, determined to keep his seed inside you, as you both love a messy round two. He rolls onto his side, taking you with him until you're on your back and looking up at him.

"You drive me crazy, baby girl," he grumbles…with obvious affection as he nuzzles you and then softly kisses you.

"You love it," you defend yourself playfully.

"Mmmhmm," he growls his agreement before kissing you again, one hand slowly exploring the planes of your body once more. He loves it when you play hard to get. He loves it when you talk back and antagonize him. He loves having a partner who keeps up with him and then still kicks his ass in training. He loves it when you challenge his lone wolf act. He loves it all, because it makes these moments happen--moments where two seemingly invincible people can come together and feel safe enough to love and be loved.

-----

It's been 2 years since I posted any fics... I hope ya'll liked this! Let me know!

p.s. made a wolverine specific sideblog: @feral4wolverine

205 notes · View notes

bunnys-kisses · 1 day

Text

some women don't want the bear

john 'soap' mactavish

cw: smut/pwp, predator/prey, cnc, roleplay/fantasy, forest sex, messy sex, unprotected sex, after care, gunplay, degrading language, dirty talk, (partially) clothed sex, pussy slapping, filth (!!!)

bunny says! reblogs, tags & comments feed the rabbit!

you never really thought about scotland having forests. you always imagined the rolling plains and large cows. not dense forests as you hastily ran pass trees and tried not to trip over roots.

your heart was racing, your breathing ragged. you needed to get away from the man in the woods. he had found you cabin for the week and had tried to get his way inside. the only way for you was out the door and into the forests before he could harm you.

"shit, shit, shit." you panted as you tried to get further into the forest, only getting more lost. you felt panic all of as you ended up in a clearing.

you wanted to scream for help, but no one would hear you. you were a lost little thing, all alone in the woods with a big scary man. a man who wanted to take you apart.

your knees felt weak as you looked around, the afternoon light shined through the thick foliage of the trees. you eventually crumbled to your knees like a dying deer when you heard the snap of a twig nearby. you quivered and whimpered when the heavy footsteps came closer.

you felt yourself be yanked by the hair and forced to look up at the man in front of you. you bottom lip wobbled, "please don't kill me, sir."

he chuckled and tapped his pistol to your nose, "cute. i don't like 'em dead, bonnie. i like 'em when they struggle." then pressed the gun to your lips, "c'mon. be a good little whore and suck. or i'll find another way to get this thing wet." his eyes cast down to your lap.

you carefully licked the gun and the intruders eyes were on you. his blue eyes gleamed like sapphires, full of danger. you never got his name as you continued to suck off his gun.

you prayed it wasn't loaded.

"pretty girl for me." he said, "bet you're popular with the boys at uni." he laughed before he used his other hand to comb his fingers through your hair, "don't worry about that. once i get my seed planted in ya, you'll be too tired to think about other boys while you're chasin' my boys around." he pinched your cheek, "hard to finish school when you're nursing one babe and pregnant with another." he chuckled.

you hated how hot it felt. it flooded your core and made your face hot all over. your heart raced as you continued to lick the weapon.

his words kept coming, "you, me and our little mission to repopulate that big cabin you were staying in. you were tempting me with that, one woman doesn't need that many rooms. you were hoping i'd come and give you an excuse to fill 'em up. better i come and seed that little cunt of yours before a big bear or something comes and does it instead.' he laughed at the improbability of that.

you looked up at him, your eyes gleamed in the afternoon light and it made the intruder's cock twitch in his pants. he patted your cheek a little harder than you liked before he wanted you to have the real thing.

he tossed the weapon to the side and pushed you down onto your back. he got on top of you and he could feel the heat of your core through those thin tights. he didn't give it much time before he ripped the cheap fabric at the crotch, followed by your panties ending up in tatters too at the seam.

"good hold you got there, bonnie." he purred, "a nice tight little cunt that i'm gonna enjoy ruining." he chuckled as he sank two thick fingers into your sweet puffy hole. he sank in like a hot knife cut butter, "oh, someone's a little whore, huh? do you let all the big scary men of the forest fuck you? or am i just special." he smiled with all teeth and you felt wetness grow between your legs.

he crowded your space, his weight on top of you kept your pinned. you weren't as strong or as big as him. he was muscular with a mohawk and a tattoo. you could already feel his length pressing against you through his jeans.

he was going to split you in half with that thing!

"ya want it, bonnie? do you want me to fuck you raw. ruin you for any other man so much so that another man could even breed you. get that pretty cunt addicted to my cum." he patted your pussy before he sank his fingers back into you, now using his thumb to play with your clit.

you sent electricity through you, you tried to find some support from the forest floor to get yourself out from under him. but there was no escaping him. you were going to be bred by this monster.

you wanted to hit him, but he was a bulk of solid muscle. you would break your hands before you made any dent in him. you laid there and kicked out your legs but you were pinned under him.

he took his fingers out of your slick pussy and licked your wetness off of them letting out a soft moan, you tasted so good. he said, "a wife's gotta taste good, even when heavy with bairn." then placed a broad hand on your stomach as he got his cock out of his blue jeans.

the birds chirped and the sun beamed down on you as you laid in the mess of leaves and twigs. you could feel the man's heavy gaze on you. you swallowed at the sight of his cock, it was thick. you swore his balls were heavy, ready for breeding.

he kept his hand on you as he guided his cock into your sweet, slick pussy. he groaned a little bit as he pushed into you. your pussy felt so good enough his cock.

he chuckled, "where have you been all my life?" his pace skipped pleasantries and soon he was bullying it deep into your womb, "a pretty little thing to breed and keep. you, me and a bunch of babies." he was so large compared to you, you couldn't fight him off. he looked like a military man, even if you could get out from under him, he would stalk you through the forest. he groaned, "you're so good for me, lettin' me use that sweet cunt of yours. i'll keep this little cunt." he patted it before he gave it a firm slap.

you panted and squirmed under him, a fruitless attempt as he fucked you with a fury that you couldn't find words for. his cock felt like it was in the back of your throat.

the harshness of his thrusts made your head spin as you gripped onto him and tried to get him off of you. but he wasn't going anywhere, he was too busy having his cock into you. he wasn't going anywhere until he was finished with you.

you were his now.

regardless the pleasure coursed through you and the pace made you hot all over. the feeling was overwhelming and you knew you wouldn't last long. you panted and moaned, your entire body was burning from the intense pleasure.

"please." you whimpered.

"what?" he asked, curious what you had to say.

"please don't kill me." you whimpered.

"no, no.. shh, shh. no way." he said, his voice overly sweet, "i would never. now c'mon, bonnie. cum for your husband." as he continued to thrust up against you cunt.

you then gripped onto the forest floor as best as you could and arched your back. you then climaxed. you felt your body betray you as your pussy clenched around him as you it all became too much. you felt like an animal being bred in the forest. "fuck." you gasped.

"so good. fuck, i'm gonna ruin that little pussy. don't worry, bonnie.

he spurted inside of you with a heavy grunt before he slowed to a stop. his heart hammered in his chest as he admired the sight of you. he gave you pussy a firm slap before he pulled out.

"good girl." and after that, the little roleplay ended. and the man you loved came back. he got you in his arms as he kissed at your face, you were still in a state of bliss as your orgasm still came through you.

johnny then picked the twigs out of your hair, he got his jacket around your shoulders. he may have gone a little over kill with ripping your leggings and panties. but you were safe with him now.

"did you like that?" he asked as he rubbed your shoulders before he helped you onto your shaky legs. he'd carry you if he had to, that what was what a husband did for his wife.

even if she wanted to have crazy, kinky forest sex during their honeymoon. but he'd have to admit, it did excite him too. using those skills of his to good use. so before he picked you up and brought you back to the cabin for some nice tea and food, he waited to give him a response.

you looked up at him, as if your cheek was scraped from the debris on the forest floor. your eyes gleamed, almost excitingly as you said, "can we do that again sometime?" <3

294 notes · View notes

yolli-es · 3 days

Text

Please, I'm really sorry

Tags: NO spoilers for season 2, sadness, rude treatment, mentions of death

I doubt this is in character, so treat it as a silly sketch. Writing text is harder than headcanons..

MY ENGLISH IS BAD AND THERE MAY BE MEANING ERRORS

You adore Jinx; you love and tolerate her. Your acquaintance was unexpected, and your subsequent friendship was spontaneous. You were choking with tears after losing your mother when she found you. This girl saved you so easily, as if it were so easy. Jinx never told you about the past, but when the voices in her head became too loud, you didn't need an explanation. You saw how bad she becomes and what consequences it can bring. Afterwards, you promise yourself to always be there so that you can prevent the irreparable. This was not always successful.

After Silko died, things got really bad. Jinx tried to continue his work, to be strong and collected. But this is Jinx. Your Jinx. And she never was and never will be like this. Maybe that's why she's been so rude to you, taking it out on you because she's under so much stress. Sooner or later it will all end, and she will be able to look at you again without irritation.

You forgive Jinx for everything: the harsh words, the insults, the hits. Because she always apologizes after. And you don't care that it's not sincere at all. You love her; she is the only thing you have.

The day started out quite normally. You and Jinx were sitting in Silko's office, which is still called that way to this day, on the initiative of Jinx herself. It was all quite nice: she decided to share with you many thoughts about the future, which happened quite rarely. But then Sevika came in. And with her came terrible news. Shimmer production had been disrupted again. The enforcers blew up the plant, dealing with the guards there without any particular problems. And she just walked out after saying that. Just one look from Jinx made it clear how bad she was feeling right now,

"It's not your fault, and..." — you're interrupted by a rude "shut up." Jinx, who had been sitting on the table quite relaxed, now clutched her head, her eyes closed, and her breathing quickened. Just a few moments ago she was vulnerable, and now she's rude to you again. "You don't understand me at all," Jinx said in a breaking voice, hiding her face in her knees. It was painful to hear. We have been through a lot together. But she's worse off, and you step over yourself again: "I love you, Jinx. What do you want me to do?". You tell her this so often, so sincerely and naively. Her reaction to your words is always different; you can never guess, and now she again hits you: "I want you to stop being so useless and just help me." Jinx whispered, still struggling with her emotions. She hadn't let herself get angry, panicked, or sad that easily since Silko died. No tears. She kept herself under control. And is that what she thought all along? It's your fault; you're just doing a shitty job. Obviously, sitting here with her is not what she wanted. It looks so painful for you. The girl you love is suffering so much; why don't you just make it easier? That day you stayed, having endured many insults and a couple of blows.

Usually you stayed by Jinx's side, always supporting her and helping her with many tasks. For example, maintaining her authority in the city, keeping an eye out for possible rats nearby, and always saving your love from nervous breakdowns. But now you're by Sevika's side, at a shimmer production plant. You didn't tell Jinx anything; you didn't even think she would ask and worry. You need to act more decisively, as she wanted it. The task was simple: wait until the enforcers come here and destroy them. You were never a good fighter, just a decent shot. Your skills were enough to protect yourself on the streets of Zaun, but they were nothing against well-trained law enforcement officers. That's why you stayed on the sidelines, watching from above and covering Sevika.

You realized how much you screwed up with this shit when you found yourself in the middle of a shootout. Things didn't go according to plan when Sevika was shot, and now you had to save her. Letting the woman lean on you, you ran upstairs. The sounds of gunshots, explosions, and screams confirmed your fears: this plant is finished. Neither the shimmer nor the people were saved. Adrenaline was pumping through you, and you didn't notice anything except the cherished goal.

You reached a safe place and fell. The rest was like a dream. Sevika sat next to you, trying to close the open wound. She tied it with a rag, shouting something about the presence of shimmer nearby. The wound seems to be on your legs, chest, and head. It was painful and cold. Severe weakness. How the hell did enforcers get you? You couldn't think, let alone remember. This woman was shaking you, trying to make you think, but you had already given up. You had lost, and you had screwed up so badly, Jinx would never forgive you. Sevika shouted something, and you didn't really listen; you just couldn't. And then your gaze focused on a blue spot... Jinx? You wanted to look at her one last time. She may be disappointed in you, angry, or simply empty towards you, but all this will not matter as long as she is here. Your eyes closed for just a moment.

" ...orr..."—You can't see, only distantly hear. Such a nice sound; you've heard it before. The noise makes you open your eyes again. A flash of light disorientated you. Straining your eyes, you managed to make out a silhouette in front of you. It was Jinx, and... she was crying. She was in complete disarray, desperately holding your face. She bit her lips every time she wanted to swallow the lump in her throat and continue talking. She was talking to you. What was she saying? Your damn body is so weak. "Hold on, just breathe. Please, I'm really sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you...",-She repeated it over and over while you felt the shimmer being injected into your body. You wanted to calm her down, to say "I love you" back. And all you did was watch silently. Your eyelids were so heavy, and your body suddenly seemed too weightless. You were being yelled at, shaken, and pricked with a shimmer stabbed over and over. And you were too weak to respond to it, closing your eyes one last time.

Jinx sincerely apologizes this time. It's a pity that your mind was too weak to realize this.

it was short, unclear and stupid 🥴 Wrote this in a hurry while I'm taking a break from studying and writing other things.

#jinx x reader #arcane jinx #arcane x reader #arcane jinx x reader #jinx x fem!reader #jinx arcane #arcane netflix #arcane league of legends #arcane #jinx league of legends

105 notes · View notes

i-hate-peas · 1 day

Text

The Old Guard Fic Recs

So I've been a long time lurker within the fandom without ever getting particularly involved, but I wanted to show some appreciation for some of the super talented people who go here, because I have read a lot of incredible TOG fic.

Most (probably all) of these authors have loads of other amazing fics, but I've tried to just chose one from each, to keep the list a vaguely reasonable length. Although then I cheated and did some honourable mentions.

** just a note to say I started this list year (s) ago and forgot about it until literally today when I saw fic recs going round. Any of these fics I haven’t put a description for it’s because I didn’t do it at the time, and if I go back to reread them all this would never be posted, not through any lack of affection or enjoyment **

If any writers want tagging/ untagging etc please let me know! (i knew/ could find some blogs more easily than others lol)

Within Canon

Old Olives by aeli_kindara

Garden of Gethsemane mention = instant tears

Death in Her Hands by superblackmarket

Nile's growing relationship with Joe and Nicky. All of their fics are so beautifully written, but I especially love Nile's relationship with the boys and her facing her own immortality.

Honourable mention: Station to Station

Between the Hour and the Age by hauntedjaeger (@hauntedfalcon)

Andy! Nile!

Ouroboros by CypressSunn (@cypresssunns)

Set after the film, literally just read it.

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience by Jack_R

A pair of early days Joe Nicky fics that reminds me of 'my wife is a bitch and i love her so much'

let's give them something to talk about by lacecat

When The Cherries White With Blossoms, Be Ready & Be Brave by chapstickaddict

Unearthed by merle_p

I think this is one of the most kudosed fics in the AO3 tag, but it deserves the hype!

Kidnapping for Dummies by Amiril

Similar to above, already very popular, but great and very funny!

The Last Man on Earth by Survivah (@optimismology)

I will admit I don't normally go for Booker/Nile, but this fic sold it to me. Looking at them and their developing relationship as the newer immortals.

Canon Divergent

Retrograde by Pinkninja

I mean this fic is the Big Bitch of the fandom for me, if you haven't already read this, where have you been? But also if you haven't already read this I am so jealous, read it and take your time with it and bawl your eyes out over it and appreciate the joy of reading it for the first time. The level of detail and planning in this fic is indescribable. It follows Nicky trapped in a Time Travellers Wife style life where he jumps back and forth throughout his own timeline, whilst Joe lives his life in chronological order. Exquisitely written.

If Never Again, If Every Day by gallifreyburning and takiki16 (@gallifreyburning, @takiki16)

Another absolute Titan of the genre. I know you’ve already been recommended this 500 times, what more can I say.

though I'm dying to (fall in love with you) by yusufsmoon (@babygirlyusuf)

Travellers from an Antique Land by kaydeefalls (@kaydeefalls)

Andy, not Quỳnh, trapped under the sea. I love all their fics.

AUs

Makes Me Want You More by Sixthlight (@sixth-light)

Perhaps not the typical favourite choice from Sixthlight, one of my absolute favourite TOG authors, but one that is funny and lovely and sweet that I keep coming back to. Shorter than many of theirs but perfectly formed.

pumpkin gnocci verse (series) by Liadan14 (@bewires)

I mean it's got estranged family, suspenseful chronological structure, cooking, spies, intimate and honest sex scenes, hilarious misunderstandings involving keeping halal, lovely found family moments, and the actual recipes used. What more do you want.

The Reality of Everything by Marbletopempire

One of the fics I desperately waited for each instalment for. Very funny, lots of sexual tension, plenty of Cate Blanchette spotting opportunities.

sine qua non by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar)

One of the first of their fics I read, with a very sweet build up of misunderstanding to friends to lovers, involving growing up, discovering sexuality, trying to be nice about your best friend's bad boyfriend, and a long suffering sofa.

The Brooklyn Verse (series) by GayLittleEarring, yusufsmoon, nicelytousled (@marwankenzarisgaylittleearring @babygirlyusuf @nicelytousled)

I saw the creation of this on Tumblr before it was a fic, and it lived up to every expectation. Very sweet and sincere, with lots of great discussions about art, whilst also very funny (Lamp the free loader, Joe sending thirst traps out of irritation) and hot. ItalianAmericanNickyfromBrooklyn and Joe my beloveds.

a good (eighth) impression by deaniker

I love a good hook-up to 'oh shit I have feelings' fic, and this is even more entertaining because Nicky is Lykon's ex, and Joe has very much seen him at his worst.

You do not have to be good by emjee (MerryHeart) (@emjee)

At one point a tumblr post about Joe the Professor and Nicky the Priest got very popular, and I'm not sure if this fic was inspired by that, but is one of the great fics with similar concepts. Such a lovely, gentle fic about love and also identity, featuring also Nile and a very sweet snail.

it's such an almighty sound (series) by raedear (@raedear)

A secret service AU that goes full enemies to lovers, with lots of tension, plotting, betrayal, frustration, and tenderness.

Honourable mention: take my hand (you got me rockin' and rollin')

fight 'til the day that i die 'verse by incurableromancer

Suspenseful, noir, super hero AU that has such a great writing style and is very atmospheric.

if you do take a thief by knoepfchen (@knoepfchen)

Cluedo style AU with lots of fun twists and slow building of backstories, with the whole gang.

Honourable mention: life is not the things that we do (it's who we're doing them with)

#the old guard #fic rec #champagne?#now I need to go back and reread all of these

91 notes · View notes

suplicyy · 2 days

Note

heyy hope you’re gonna take this request, can you write something about canon kuroo confessing?

No time skip please. Like with a female reader which doesn’t act in love with him like the rest of the girls, she’s not pick me or stuff like this.

So Kuroo can do nothing but finally talk to her because he can’t stand the fact that she’s different from other girls.

I can’t really picture canon Kuroo confessing, that’s why I’m asking, I really like your writing!

Thank u so much

Notice me Please!!!

Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

— Summary: He has his eyes on you, but for some reason you don't look back.

— Tags/Genre: Fem!Reader | Fluff

— Warnings: None!

Kuroo drums his fingers impatiently on his desk, and with one hand resting on his chin, he stares at your figure across the classroom. You seemed quite entertained listening to music, which he has no idea what it is, but that sight makes him feel something inside him.

Frustration. He admit that he can't stand seeing you like this, because you're never like that when he tries to talk to you, and that made him feel a kind of jealousy, even if it was for something inanimate.

Every time you talked to him, you seemed indifferent, almost as if you were uninterested. Damn, why don't you look at him with the same twinkle in your eye when you're listening to something on your stupid headphones?

It's been a while since Kuroo started to have strong feelings for you, your heart skips a beat every time you pass each other in the school hallways, with Kuroo always looking back when you pass by him. But he never revealed that to you of course.

And no matter how many bad jokes or flirtations he told you, how many little gifts he left in your locker or on your desk in secret and then hinted that he was the one who left them there, it seemed like you never cared about his desperate actions for your attention.

At first, he thought this was just the way you acted, that you were more shy and reserved. But then he noticed the giggles you had with your friends, how talkative you seemed to be around them.

Now he thinks the problem is with him, that maybe you hate his presence, or just don't care about him.

He is a relatively popular person at school. His volleyball team reached the Nationals, which gave great prominence to all the team members, especially him. So it's no surprise to hear girls gossiping about Kuroo in the hallways.

To tell the truth, he didn't care much about it, sometimes he would even tease Yaku for having more fans than him, but that was it.

The only person he craves attention from is you.

But he doesn't know if you feel the same way, or at least care about his existence.

So that's why today would be the day he would bring the whole truth to light. His only option now would be to confess to you. Maybe it was a last choice made out of desperation and doubt, but he can no longer bear your indifference towards him.

Your club activities are over, so you can finally go home after a tiring day of boring classes and uninteresting people.

Now, you were walking towards the school exit, but you soon stopped when you saw a certain boy with a peculiar hairstyle standing at the gate, almost as if he was waiting for someone.

You figured he was waiting for Kenma to go home since they were best friends, so you didn't care much about it and continued walking to the exit.

"Hey, [Name]!"

A familiar voice calls you. And as you turn to the side, you see Kuroo walking towards you, waving at you.

"Let's go home together, shall we?" you look around, and then you look at him again, raising an eyebrow. "Aren't you going with Kenma?" "He said he needed to go somewhere else to buy a new game, something like that. And since I'm alone... I thought about going with you."

He gives you a smile that would make anyone fall in love immediately, but it never seemed to have any effect on you.

You looked at him with an enigmatic expression, almost as if you want to read him through his actions and words. "Um, sure." You say as you adjust your backpack hanging on your shoulder, soon starting to walk, with Kuroo by your side.

Your house wasn't that far from the school, but in the situation you were in, it felt like an eternity had passed since you left the school gates and started walking.

Neither of you exchanged a single word, except for Kuroo who was humming some random song.

"Y'know..." he says after a moment, which made you direct your gaze to him, who was still staring at the path ahead.

"I once heard you listening to this song. You turn your music up so loud that anyone who passes by can hear it coming from your headphones." your expression changes to one of surprise.

"S-Seriously? I never realized that..." you laugh awkwardly, looking away to the floor.

"Yeah... but it's not because of music or headphones that I called you to walk with me." Kuroo stops walking unexpectedly, making you stop too.

Looking back, you notice his expression is more serious, almost as if he is a little nervous.

"Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you."

His tone of voice seemed to have changed too, which left you confused, or even a little nervous, as much as you didn't want to admit it.

"I...like you, [Name]." As he uttered these words, it was almost as if a weight had been lifted from the boy's shoulders, his previously tense posture allowing himself the luxury of relaxing, even if for a brief moment.

However, the opposite seemed to manifest in you. Previously unconcerned about what this simple walk would offer you, it was almost as if your breath was suddenly caught in your throat. Your heart soon feels like it's leaving your body, hammering in your chest in a fast, nervous rhythm.

"Huh?" you say in disbelief at what you heard. Shock quickly turns to annoyance, his eyebrows furrowing in disbelief. "Look... don't think this kind of joke is funny, because you won't hear me laugh about it."

"Joke? Why would you think that?" Kuroo says this right after with a nasal laugh.

He walks closer to you, and you instinctively step back, until your back is in contact with a large tree that was close to the sidewalk. He stops right in front of you, and looks at you with a touch of doubt, almost as if he had heard something incredible.

"Why do you think I would make fun of something like that? You- my feelings for you... would never be a joke to me." he says with an affectionate tone, his eyes softening for a moment as he maintains eye contact with you.

"Maybe this could have been just a challenge your friends arranged for you, like in those cliché movies." your tone conveys sarcasm, but with a touch of bitterness "Or maybe some pretty girl rejected you, and is now looking for solace in anyone even remotely close to you..." "Or even-"

Your words are cut off as you feel Kuroo's lips land tenderly on your cheek. His hand reaches out to cup the other side of your face, and the other lands on the tree behind you, pinning you there.

"I like you, [Name]." he whispers in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "And I will tell you this until you can't prove otherwise."

Kuroo takes his hand off the tree and takes your hand, then looks at you seriously. "And I mean it."

You feel your cheeks heat up, but you quickly compose yourself, and a small smile appears on your face, but this time it's genuine.

"Hmm, so you want to win me over, huh?" you push yourself away from the tree, placing your free hand on his shoulder. Your sudden closeness makes Kuroo surprised, making him suddenly feel shy.

"Only words won't convince me... you better work hard for it, Tetsurou." you move away from him, and start opening your backpack, looking for your headphones.

You give a small wave to Kuroo, but without turning towards him, focusing only on the path in front of you.

Dumbfounded, Kuroo waves back, his cheeks dyed with pink in embarrassment.

"Thank you for accompanying me, but I can go on my own from here." You say as you fit your headphones onto your head, putting on a random playlist that you made in honor of your little crush, who is definitely not Kuroo Tetsurou (it is).

— A/N: Uh........hi........I'm back.............

First of all, I want to apologize a thousand times to whoever sent me this request, I'm really sorry it took me SO LONG to post this. In addition to apologizing to everyone who follows me here, for not having given any sign of life for more than a month....😭

I really don't have a real excuse for doing this other than a total of 0 creativity and several hours of my life in hell (school), so I really needed to take this time for myself, until I felt more comfortable coming back here again.

I'm currently feeling quite creative artistically, mainly because I'm watching MHA again (which I'll probably bring here on my page) and also because I'm reading the Haikyuu manga. Plus, I passed pretty much every subject at school, so I don't have to worry so much about grades.

So...I'm officially back now!! I apologize again, and in compensation for this, I am already writing 3 more new things for you (2 are from MHA😜😜🤪); and I also won't open requests until I finish writing these, so stay tuned!!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu oneshot #hq #hq x reader #hq fluff #kuroo fluff #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #haikyuu x fem!reader #haikyuu x female reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader

91 notes · View notes

dear-ao3 · 2 days

Text

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long).

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go.

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now.

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness:

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago.

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki.

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding.

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Scuderia Ferrari HP (@scuderiaferrari)

instagram

then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where!

ferrari? no that would be too obvious.

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show!

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025.

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power.

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari.

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical.

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can.

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile.

but! there is more!

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off.

and with that. the baku lore.

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events.

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

youtube

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls.

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right?

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying.

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say.

but alas. qualifying.

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE.

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box.

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that.

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster)

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won.

and franco has never been to baku before.

i think that's all the exposition that we need here.

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3.

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice.

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando.

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault)

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag.

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader.

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up.

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled.

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow”

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon.

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th.

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race.

steaming on forward to q3.

we had, for review, in q3 the following:

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri.

right out the gate it was wild.

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment.

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer.

here were the standings:

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap.

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results:

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit.

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race.

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth.

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid.

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a spot to nico.

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio.

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being.

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL.

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past.

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break.

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th.

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap.

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo.

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly.

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando.

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do?

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race.

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits.

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo.

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control.

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done.

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place.

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said.

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.”

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not.

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to.

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working.

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando.

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too.

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct.

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem.

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.”

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship.

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!!

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened.

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash.

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mahir (@f1trollguy)

instagram

but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car.

which meant

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3!

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit!

“yes!” he whispered over the radio.

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

he also got driver of the day!

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting.

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner”

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice.

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled:

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran:

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically.

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters.

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖦𝗈𝗈𝖽. 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖶𝖺𝗒𝗌. (@f1foryou1)

instagram

-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now”

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.”

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram.

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today!

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now.

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren.

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise.

see you all soon!!!

#not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #im so sorry this is so late i am sooooo sorry aaaaaa #i will get my shit together #baku 2024 #Instagram #Youtube

100 notes · View notes

hotvintagepoll · 9 hours

Text

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS poll blog!

The Scrungly Little Guys (gender neutral) Contest will start THIS THURSDAY, September 26th. All contestants have now been processed and are ready to scrungle it up for your enjoyment. Reminder that this contest enshrines the weird, the off-putting, the comic, the character actor, and the strange cinema legend. If you need a reminder of what scrungle means, this picture is the golden standard.

All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, the Dracula Daily polls, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. I am working on a more complete tagging system so people just here for the polls can navigate the blog more easily, but that's still in the works.

FAQs:

“Define scrungly?” For the purposes of this tournament, a contestant must noticeably present in some way as at least one of these: odd, bizarre, off-putting, disheveled, creeping, feral, small, filthy, silly, funny, kooky, comical, exhausted, or just plain strange. This contest presents a wide array of scrungly appeal, so not every contestant will hit every single one of these (but should, ideally, be a few of them). Scrungles were chosen based on how convincing their submitted propaganda was. This contest is all about oddball character actors, creeping henchmen, comic relief sidekicks—the side characters who never get the credit they deserve in proper rundowns of famous old movie actors.

"How do I decide who to vote for?" Vote on whoever seems scrungliest to you. Do not vote for someone based on hotness alone. The video propaganda, included under the cut, is highly encouraged for showcasing scrungles.

"Is this just like the hotness tournaments?" No. This contest is sillier.

"Hey! Some of these guys sucked and they shouldn't be here!" Yes, some of these guys sucked. I agree with you. For reasons I've gone into before, I don't exclude anyone from the contest for moral reasons, even if I personally think they were garbage. I do this because I cannot responsibly research and vet every competitor's background and legacy, and I'm not comfortable being the moral barometer for everyone, even in cases where I think it's really obvious. You are welcome to vote against people for moral reasons, but as mod I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about anyone.

If I see repetitive, trolling, or bigoted remarks in the comments, I will block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a competitor’s problematic aspects in the replies, that’s fine, but if I see bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked. I will also block if you start harassing other people voting on the polls. If you really hate that someone is winning, please post positive propaganda for their opponent instead.

I welcome additional propaganda for the scrungly little guys in reblogs or asks. I boost the best propaganda I see and try to boost equally for everyone. I don't accept propaganda that’s post-1970 or from non-film appearances. When sending your propaganda, please don't send me too many pics or videos at once (I max out at about four per ask.)

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t alter submissions beyond fixing obvious spelling mistakes. I do choose the poll pics, purposely trying to pick the silliest ones possible for this contest; if you think I could do even sillier, send me one I can use instead. If you think a contestant needs more propaganda, send me an ask with some and let me know if you'd like it added to the poll post if they make it to the next round.

“Who won the major hottie tournaments?” Eartha Kitt and Toshiro Mifune are the reigning hotness champions. They are both living it up by the pool in the sunshine, as far from the shadow realm as possible.

“The....the shadow realm?” All hotties who fail to continue in a hotness tournament are sent to the shadow realm, far below the crust of the earth where the sun never shines, a dark and dismal and gloomy place. (Boris Karloff keeps making everyone try his brandy-based guacamole.)

“Was [this famous person] submitted to any of the tournaments?” Try a tag search for them (ie, [#famous person name] in my search bar). If you still haven’t found your hottie, they either did not fit the criteria of working in movies from 1910-1970, weren't convincingly scrungly in their submission, or were not submitted at all.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the polls.

Tournament schedule post-hiatus:

Ongoing: Dracula Daily casting polls

Starting September 26th: Scrungly Little Guys contest (gender neutral)

After that: Ultimate Hottie Tournament (top brackets of the hot men & hot women competing together)

TBD: Hottest On-Screen Couples (Astaire and Rogers, Bogie and Bacall, etc)

TBD: Horror Hotties (Frankensteins, Draculas, Brides, etc.)

TBD: Dandy Detectives (Marples, Sherlocks, Nancy Drews, etc.)

fun mini polls that pit sets of characters from the same movie together, like the Philadelphia Story or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers ones (these can be found in the #minis tag)

#housekeeping #scrungly 1 #scrungly little guys #hotvintagepoll

73 notes · View notes

cryvelv3t · 1 day

Text

Cody x domtop! Male Reader

Warnings: Oral, Breeding, rough fucking, Semi-public/locker room, Praise, Musk, Feminization

"So, what's next for the tag team champions?" A reporter asked you and Cody "I don't really know; all I know is that we're going to beat everyone that comes at us." Cody responded, his hand finding your shoulder. You smiled in agreement and placed your hand on his thigh, Cody's smile faltered slightly as his cheeks flushed. "Any more questions?" You asked while slowly bringing your hand down to the bulge in his pants, "Yes! Cody, why did you choose him as your tag team partner? I'm sorry but it all seems so sudden." He smiled "So, um. My friend here is-" His voice broke as you began to apply pressure on his bulge. He let out a heavy breath "Sorry, I got a little distracted, but he's really fun to work with. And he's a stronger fighter while I'm a stronger talker." You smiled at his answer before pressing a little harder, Cody's hand went up to hide his face. You could hear a low groan come out of him; his hand able to hide the sound from the mic in front of him. "We really are the perfect team." Cody took his hand off your shoulder. He looked at you for a few seconds until a reporter called you name "Yeah?" you responded quickly "It's similar as the question before what made you agree to Cody's offer?" You smiled widely "Okay, the story is pretty long both in the ring and in the dressing rooms. But long story short I hated him when he first asked but as I watched how hard he worked in those matches and how much strength he has. It changed. The man has a lot of will power and I respect it." You released the pressure off his bulge "Wha-" Cody's eyes were wide, and he had a huge smile "What? Too much admiration?" You smiled lightly. Cody shook his head quickly "No, no it was swee-"Don't ruin your moment." You cut him off applying pressure to his cock once again, his head dropped and fell against the table "You good?" He nodded and brought his head back up. Cody's face was redder than a tomato. He looked around waiting for someone to ask a question before he hears someone say something about how the conference is coming to an end.

You and Cody both walked out off the stage and into one of the locker rooms. "What the fuck was that?" He turned around quickly as you closed and locked the door. "What? You don't like the princess treatment." You leaned in to kiss his neck. Cody lets you, his hands finding his way to your biceps "That's not princess treatment, that's humiliation." "Hm, either way. You love it." Your hands make way to his waist to bring him closer. "Fuck." He groaned lightly as he felt your erection rub against his own. "Please, please." He brought his hands up to your face "Kiss me.". With no hesitation you roughly pressed your lips to his. His breath got heavy, and his moves frantic to work off his jacket. "Fuck baby, you're so beautiful." You breathed out, your hands running up and down his body. You sat him down onto a bench in the locker room. "God you're so fucking perfect." You praised. He smiled at your kind words, letting you do whatever you wanted to his "perfect" body. You kissed down his body as you got down on your knees. "Lay down on the bench." You ordered, his eyebrows furrowed "Wh-"Just trust me and do it baby." His eyebrows relaxed and laid down. "What are you going to do?" He asked as he leaned up on his elbows "Just wait, and you'll find out." You hooked your fingers under his belt and pulled them down to his ankles. "I think I have an ide-" his little comment was interrupted by a loud gasp at your warm mouth wrapping around his cock. "Fuck!" He brought a hand up to his mouth. Your cock twitched at his little whimpers; they were so high compared to his normal voice. "God, fuck." He groaned as your sucking became more enthusiastic. He tried to tell you little random things, but it came out as unintelligible babbles.

Your mouth trailed lower and lower to his surprise. "Wait, what are you doing?" He leaned up on his elbows again. Your head popped up "Why? You don't want it?" You climbed back up "No, no, it's fine but what were you doing?" Your eyes widened slightly

Your relationship was still fresh, and it was constantly interrupted by work and your storyline together. And you suspect that you might be Cody's first boyfriend. Because of this new relationship, you want to make him as happy as possible.

"I was going to eat you out. Is that okay?" You asked hoping for clear communication. Cody's eyes widened slightly; he stutters a bit obviously shocked but gives you the okay. You smile at him before kissing down his body, trying to get him to relax. You give a long lick from the base to the tip of his cock, reviling in the way he groans at the action. "Fuck, you smell so good." Cody makes a confused noise, you just got done with a match, he's covered in sweat, and he probably smells like it too. All those thoughts were wiped the moment he felt your tongue swipe his hole "Fuck!" He gasped out. You groaned into his hole as you finally pushed you tongue in, he tasted amazing. This is your new favorite food; your tongue's movements were fast and almost desperate. You were practically making out with Cody's hole, and Cody loved every second of it all. It felt filthy all of it, the sounds, your praises, the action of it, and the fact you were getting off on it too. You pulled away and let your thumb drag across the rim, tugging ever so slightly. You watched as spit dripped out of his messy hole. "Fuck, your cunts so wet." His back arched at the use of the word "cunt". "You like that? You like your hole being called a cunt? Is that right, my good girl?" You whispered the last bit into his ear before dragging your teeth along his ear lobe. He cried out pleading for you to fuck his tight cunt.

You smiled and leaned back down to lick at his hole only this time you added a few fingers. Your fingers searched for that perfect spot inside him "Fuck! Right there. Oh shit! Right there." He let out a string of curses as you abused his prostate with your fingers.

It didn't take much more for Cody to tip over the edge, all it took was one slurp and he came harder than he ever has. "Fuck, oh my god." He breathed out, his breath heavy and hot. "You okay baby?" You climbed back up to be face to face with him "I'm okay." He said quietly "Good." You gave him a small kiss before pulling away to clean him up.

Cody made a disapproving sound "Oh no, we're not done!" He grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to him. "Baby, I don't have a condom, lube. Nothing." "I don't care, you're fucking me." His hands found their way to the sides of your face and kissed you forcefully. You felt your cock twitch at his desperate sounds he let out into your mouth. You let out a light groan as you ground your erection into his. Quickly, you unzipped your pants, eager to feel him wrapped around you. "Fuck. Please daddy." He whined at the feeling of your dick teasing around his hole. He froze up once he said that "I-" He pulled away from you with wide eyes "I'm sorry," You cut him off with a deep kiss "That's a good girl, let daddy take care of you." You whispered into his mouth. He moaned loudly, back arching once again making him pull away from your mouth. You leaned up to look down at his hole before spitting directly on it as a replacement for lube. You heard a small whimper punched out of him. You lined up your erection with his hole and pushed in slowly.

The two groaned out in sync "God, you're so tight." You said through gritted teeth. Your body bent over him, your forehead bumping against his collar bone "And you're so big. So full." He whispered out, his head thrown back. Once you bottomed out both of you completely stopped moving, no sound other than your hands rubbing his skin and the sound of heavy breathing.

"Move. Move please." Cody's voice was breathless and higher than normal. Genuinely how could you deny such a pretty boy, with a pretty voice to match. You began thrusting slowly but harsh and deep. Cody moaned out at the action. "God, your cunts taking me so well." You groaned, watching your cock disappear inside him. Cody moaned out a string of curses as he shakily leaned up on his elbows to see before immediately laying back down at the sight, crying out even louder. If you weren't so entranced by the beautiful picture Cody makes you would be more worried about the crash you heard when his head made contact with the bench. "Kiss me, kiss me, please daddy!" He moaned, reaching his arms out to grab you. You obliged, leaning down to capture his lips in a messy kiss. He could barely kiss back he was such a wreck. Drool pooled out of his pink, swollen lips, and he could not stop moaning as your thrusts became more and more harsh. The onslaught abuse to his prostate made him sensitive, he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. "Close." He managed to spit out "Me too, baby." "Inside, inside please." You smiled "okay, baby. You want me to breed you full?" "Yes! Yes!" He moaned, nodding desperately. It only took a few more thrusts before he came on the two of your stomachs. "Fuck." You groaned at the tightness that made you spill your load.

"So, so fucking full. Thank you, daddy." He smiled as he worked to calm his breath. "I love you, Cody." You whispered into his neck "I love you too." He wrapped his arms around your neck and kissed the top of your head.

"Hello?" You heard someone yell outside the door. "Fuck." You whispered; both of your eyes wide. "Dammit." You two rushed to get dressed.

#top male reader #wwe smackdown #wwe raw #cody rhodes #wwe #dom male reader

42 notes · View notes

callisteios · 2 days

Text

it is time for The House Spreadsheet

so yeah for those who don't know i have spent like two years making (and constantly mentioning that i am making) a spreadsheet to track several things in the 2004-2012 tv show house md

I'll probably rb with details/graphs but without further ado:

Here it is!!!

some disclaimers:

I may have got things wrong!!!!

PLEASE note above, i am just one person with a poor attention span, i did my best but may have missed instances of something im tracking.

if you do notice something wrong you can let me know (timestamps please) and if i verify i'll update the sheet

please don't take the notes seriously, they were just a stream of conciousness reaction to keep me sane

re: the things wrong point, i definitely got the medical categories wrong so if anyone has better suggestions i am Begging You please come to me

If you make anything with this i'd love to see, so please tag me when you do :)

#house #house md #hate crimes md #this wasn't actually that fun! except the formulas i love formulas #the worst part of this is no matter how miserable it became i still want to do this for like 3 other tv shows #ouat and criminal minds being the ones that immidiately come to mind #criminal minds would be so easy bc a very similar format though i never finished the show #ouat because its so fucking funny #counterpoint: id have to watch ouat again AND i couldn't skip when it gets boring #honestly i don't know what the banner is about i made this post over a year ago #i don't stand by it i think it looks ugly #but let's give her this #im going to reblog this 15 million times maybe

41 notes · View notes

snoopledrooplecheesedoodle · 2 days

Text

Fall Yandere Prompts

Fuck Me I put prompts on the other thing at didn't actually put prompts, I suck anyways here are a few prompts made by yours truly. Others are free to use them just please tag me. Thanks. I'll make more Halloween ones if people like these.

Apple Cider: A sweet yet tangy that leaves a warm feeling. Your eyelids start drooping after drinking every drop.

Bonfire: Dry sticks and leaves are so easy to burn in high bright flames. Be wary of what the light attracts.

Crows: Inky black birds with a glimmer of intelligence in their eyes. You feel a dozen pairs of eyes watching your every move.

Dry Leaves: Crunchy and brown and always fun to mess around in. You hear a second set of feet slowly trotting behind you.

End: Autumn signifies the end of Summer and a change in season. It also signified the end of your freedom.

Flannel: The warmth of this fall apparel is so comforting in the crisp weather. Don't you like it, they picked out just for you.

Grain: Bountiful and golden, shaking in the cool breeze. You meet a friendly stranger standing in the grain field, holding a scythe.

Harvest: Fall provides us with a bountiful harvest of corn, pumpkins, apples, pears, and grain. Such bounty requires a sacrifice to be made.

Indoors: Why go outside when you can snuggle under the covers and keep warm? Just because it's your home doesn't mean you are safe.

Jack-O-Lanterns: Grinning gourds light up the night, carving them is a fun activity. They want to participate but got a little too creative.

Kettle: Boiling water for a hot beverage on the stove is so nice. The water isn't quite done but you still hear whistling.

Leaf: Colorful trees make such wonderful leaves they look good pressed in a book. You see one on your bed side every day, they have a distinct metallic scent.

Mushrooms: Clustered together they're a fungi to be around. More seem to grow near you each day in strange patterns.

Nutmeg: Fall spices are aromatic and make every dish warm with flavor. If your running low the next-door neighbor might have some, might as well come inside while they look for what you need.

Orchard: Fruit trees tended to with tender care, baring crimson fruit. Picking just one won't hurt.

Pie: Steaming goodness wrapped in a golden shell. Have another slice there's plenty to go around.

Quiet: Many an autumn night is filled with sweet and calming silence. It feels a little too quiet tonight, might want to retire early.

Reaping: How to harvest the crops grown, you reap the rewards of the Earth. Someone has come to take you or your soul, they're not very picky.

Spider: Dainty legs weave beautiful webs, enticing as they are dangerous. Any prey they catch, they won't let go.

Tree: Majestic and tall these ancient plants reach up to the dwindling sun with aching branches. Haven't you seen that tree before, you must be hopelessly lost, perhaps that's better than being found.

Umbrella: The cold weather makes rain extra chilling; with a warm smile you share your umbrella. No good deed goes unpunished, as the storm outside isn't what you should be worried about.

Vermillion: Beautiful shade of red found plentifully in the fall, its beautiful yet it can be a dangerous color too.

Wind: Rattling trees and blowing the leaves to the ground, the wind tickles your ears and nips at your nose. It carries with it the unhinged words of a person you never want to see again.

Xenial: Being most hospitable is a must during autumn. This does not change when a stranger shows up at your front door requesting shelter.

Yarn: Soft threads of vibrant colors used to create warm clothes, blankets, and other things. The string prevents you from moving while someone knits in the corner, eyes focused on you.

Zipper: Better zip up when it's so chilly outside, wouldn't want to catch a cold. You also might want to zip it before they hear you.

#yandere x reader #fall prompts #male yandere #yandere oc #yandere #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jjba #yandere twst #female yandere #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere obey me #yandere prompt #yandere hetalia #yandere honkai star rail #yandere pokemon x reader #yandere total drama

46 notes · View notes

renaiswriting · 2 days

Text

Shadows of desire (part 15)

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan/Reader

Summary:

You always thought the only romance you would experiment with in your life was the one between pages under the flames at midnight. That was until you found him, because the feel of his fangs digging into your neck was more than addictive.

Word count: +2.4k words

Warnings: mentions of blood, burning and pain. I think that's all.

Previous | Shadows of Desire Masterlist | Next

Shadows of desire moodboard

Shadows of desire playlist

The Desiree's series' Masterlist

Masterlist

If you want to be tagged, please fill out the tag list form.

Taglist: @phoebe0 @sahhmochi @darkdayelixer @hipsdofangirl @ryusha-rose @arcofagamotto @lexix001 @mhlsymlysn @porridgesblog @asyre @flwrrchild @lustfulpjm @leicy0756 @zaggprincess2 @vannabanana1995 @skyeliteratures @oxuminaa @the1nonly-lr @questionsdearreader @lovecleastrange @black-swan-blog27 @scorpiobitch88 @skyeliteratures @oxuminaa

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

An icy finger was moving the hair that was falling over your closed eyes, and it wasn't until you felt the digit of his finger gently rubbing between your eyebrows that you realized you were frowning.

The cold finger was only part of the reason you felt like you had goosebumps covering all of your body.

It felt like your whole body was resting on a large chunk of ice; it was firm and held you tightly, as if it were afraid that if it loosened its grip on your waist a little, your whole body would start to melt.

Your teeth chattered loudly. You bit down hard on your lower lip, trying to stop the trembling a little, and it partially worked.

The original finger had been joined by four others, sliding delicately across the creases of your face. Outlining the contours of your lips and the bridge of your nose.

You tried to pull away, wanting to find some warmth outside of the icy grip, but a sharp pain in your neck forced you to abandon such a mission.

"Shhh," a thick voice whispered. Even feeling the warm breath close to your ear, the voice sounded distant, almost as if it were speaking from across the room. It sounded weak, almost without energy.

"Mmh?" You were able to ask, but your throat made it hard to speak, and even making sounds took much of your effort.

Your eyes were heavy, but with what little you had been able to see through the coarse line that had been created between your eyelids, you were in complete darkness.

You wanted to cry, but you didn't even have the strength for that.

"Does anything hurt?" The voice asked, and fingers quickly came to rest on your chin, moving slightly in the direction of what you suspected was his face. You let out an involuntary moan of pain.

Fingers rested on your aching neck, and for the first time, the coldness emanating from that body was welcomed by your own.

You tried to speak, but your dry throat could only emit a sound as wrenching as the pain you were feeling. Almost as much as the throbbing headache you had begun to notice was present every time you moved your head in the slightest.

"Don't speak," the voice hastened to instruct you. "Point it out to me."

Your eyes slowly opened, blurry figures welcoming you into a completely dark place except for a small window that could be no bigger than the palm of your hand, which was almost at the end of the wall, touching the ceiling.

You could witness a dark light, so you determined that it was soon to get dark.

How long had you been there? You had no idea.

A pair of thin, icy lips touched your forehead, placing a small kiss there. "You're alive." The voice sighed, sounding relieved.

Your eyes finally focused on Jeonghan's long blond hair; it looked much more unkempt than the last time you had seen it, and you wondered if this was also a creation of your mind, if you had finally gone without return to no sanity, and if, as many of the other children had told you as a child, you were going to follow the same fate as your mother.

But it felt so real.

So beautiful.

That for a few moments you didn't see what the problem with it would be.

You wanted to cry.

Maybe this shrinky moment would allow you to see your mother too? You didn't need much time; if that was an impediment, you just wanted a hug from her.

You missed her.

Very much.

The expression on Jeonghan's face slumped a little, and his shoulders slumped as if all the pressure in the world was there, resting on his back.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, his arms squeezed tighter around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his chest very carefully as he heard the first sob.

You wanted to open your mouth and tell him that nothing was happening, that the whole world was decaying in front of your very eyes, that you were afraid it was going to happen, that you wanted to run to your parents' bed like when you were a child and be held tight as you went back to sleep to protect yourself from the monsters, that you wanted him to promise you that it was real, that everything would be okay... But instead, hide your face in your hands with what little strength you had.

"(Y/N), it's okay, everything's okay, I'm here." Jeonghan whispered, stroking your hair, pulling it away from the wound on your neck. "Are you in any pain?"

You shook your head, pulling away from him after allowing yourself a few minutes of silence to compose yourself.

Your throat was so dry that even breathing made you ache. "Water," you asked as best you could. "Water, please." You repeated, afraid he couldn't hear you. You felt such desperation as if your life depended on every word and every second, and maybe, in a way, it did.

"I don't have any," Jeonghan swore, moving gently out of the place where you both were laying together. Your body shook when the icy feeling left your skin, but your heart ached for the feeling to come quickly back to you. "I have searched day by day and I couldn't find anything; they didn't give us anything. The little I could find in an old glass, I used it to try and clean your wound; it was kinda—er, it didn't look the best, and it was hard for me to be in this place with you like that." Jeonghan jumped really high, reaching the window and looking outside. You wanted to warn him that was dangerous but couldn't do more than a weak sound of protest. "I don't hear them here; I haven't heard anyone in a while now. They usually go to haunt at this hour since it is darker, but..." Jeonghan clicked his tongue, coming back to you. "Is your throat alright?"

"Just dry." You replied, sitting down.

"Slowly," Jeonghan mumbled, helping you. "Hi." He said with the same low and intimate voice, looking into your eyes. Even though the situation was awful and you were probably looking as bad as you were feeling, there was a small smile on his face.

"Hi." You mumbled back; the scene was so real that you were amazed by how well your mind worked. Even the wounds on his face couldn't take away his beauty. His hair fell on his eyes as if it were a curtain, and when your fingers reached out to touch it, you gasped at how real it felt. "How long are you going to be here before you disappear? I missed you so much."

"What are you talking about, love?" Jeonghan frowned, finally sitting down with you.

"I guess I finally lost my mind." You laughed, "It's okay. I guess this is better than nothing. I would rather be with an imaginary version of you than with not you at all."

"(Y/n), what are you talking about?" Jeonghan asked softly, "You're starting to scare me, love."

"Nothing," you reassured him, moving closer. "How long have we been here?"

"Around a week together, now you have been way longer on your own, and I got here a day or two later. I tried to find you and rescue you, but we'll, I guess that didn't work out as well as I expected." Jeonghan laughed with no humor at all.

"What happened when I left?"

"I got worried; I turned around, and you suddenly were nowhere to be found." Jeonghan started; his voice was chilling cold. "I started calling your name out loud, screaming so loud that I annoyed Soonyoung enough for him to start looking for you as well, we couldn't find anything but a slight scent of your perfume."

"I wanted to follow it, but it was almost morning and the sun was starting to make its way, so Soonyoung dragged me inside. He said I should wait until next night to follow it, that I couldn't go there on my own, but I couldn't help it; I was worried sick. Each minute inside my room meant a minute too late from rescue you, and I just couldn't stop thinking on the worst-case scenarios... So I waited until Soonyoung was busy enough to not pay me any attention to get outside the house and deep into the forest. Unfortunately, I didn't make it that far away before the burns on my skin were so bad that I was screaming. Soonyoung came in a second and dragged me back inside. He even told Vernon to keep an eye on me. I tried—trust me, I tried to come here quickly, to come back to you faster, but I just couldn't. Seungcheol apparently had already made it to their last stop before coming home and had managed to talk some vamoires into helping us, but it would take around another week for them to come back, and that was way too long. You could have been dead by the time they were back, so I took things into my own hands, and as soon as the sun was away, I escaped."

"I reached the house within hours, but in all that time I wasn't feeding well and my skin was still with pretty ugly burn spots; I was weaker than I thought; I put on a fight; don't take me wrong, but I found myself in this room way quicker than what I thought. That vampire, Mark I heard they called him and had your brother by his side. I tried to talk with him to warn him about what Mark was because, well, he was in danger, and so we're you, but your brother just stood there... It took me longer than I would love to admit it, but once I saw the dark eyes and the way there was dry blood in his lips, I knew we were dumbed. I thought maybe he was forced into drinking it—you know, some vamoires can be a little too—but then the night was coming to an end and suddenly he was being rushed inside the house."

"No." You shook your head. "Luke would never..."

"So I stayed here day and night, attempting to get out. But as the days passed, I wasn't feeding on anything; I still was starving and getting weaker and weaker. A vampire can't technically die by not feeding, but I felt as if I was dying. I was reaching the dying phase... And then I heard you screaming. I don't know where the strength came, but suddenly I was able to fight... Me, the one that minutes before couldn't even stand up. Anyways, once I got you out of here, you passed out, and I just kept taking care of you. I had to make sure you kept breathing at night because the temperature drops."

"No one came here; I did hear someone having a discussion downstairs, but I couldn't really make out what they were saying. I think someone left the house because after that, the whole place became so silent that it creeps me out." Jeonghan finished his story; his eyes were on the window, and for a fraction of a second you saw two birds flying freely. You never wished to be a bird as much as you did right there.

"What are we going to do?" You asked after a terrific thought had made its way into your mind, "Are we going to die in here? Am I going to die?"

"No." Jeonghan growled, "I will never let you die. Never. I kept you alive all these days, bearing with the burns that come from the sunlight through that window to let you die just like that. There's no way. We will get out of here somehow, even if it is the last thing I do."

"Then how are we going to get out of here? Not even the house; how are we going to escape this room?" You asked, feeling like the walls were closing. "How many of them are here?"

"Last time I checked around ten." Jeonghan sighed, throwing his hair out of his face frustrated. "Now there could be less, but I couldn't be sure."

"How many of them can we beat?"

"In our current situation? One, if he's weaker than me and we're lucky enough that he's a vegetarian."

"We can't beat them." You realized.

"Not alone." Jeonghan nodded.

"Seungcheol and the others," you remembered, "could come here and..."

"My scent would be gone by the time they got home; I doubt they would know where I went." Jeonghan punched his head. "I should have listened to Soonyoung; maybe I should have brought him or even written a note. I don't know; I was so stupid. I wasn't thinking."

"You're not stupid; this is my fault; I should never put a foot outside."

"It isn't." Jeonghan reassured, searching for your hand in the darkness of the room; you could barely make out his factions with the lack of light. His fingers interluded with yours, and the gesture was so comforting that for a second you thought you could make it out of this prison. "I should have kept an eye on you. I would have been out of your life; if anything, this is my fault, but I promise you, I will save you."

"If we want to make it out alive," you mumbled, almost as if it were a secret for you both and the moon to keep, "you need to drink."

Jeonghan stayed silent, and if it wasn't for his hand holding tightly your own, you would think that he had vanished.

You held it as tight as you could; you didn't care if it was hurting his fingers or yours; you were scared that your kind would give up on you for real and the ghost of Jeonghan would disappear forever.

"You're real, right?"

You felt two thin lips coming into gentle contact with your own. A hand caressed your right chin, and without knowing it, your lips were moving in a slow dance that you both seemed to know for lives before this one.

He was real.

He was going to save you.

You would be alright.

"I trust you." You mumbled against his lips. Moving the fabric that was covering your neck.

"You sure?" Jeonghan asked, moving his hand to the side of your neck that wasn't hurting.

"We need to get out of here, and you can't do it if you're weak."

Jeonghan took a deep breath before moving his mouth to the skin there, and you felt how your lungs were fighting for more air when you felt his fangs breaking the skin.

You both would be fine.

There was no coming back now.

31 notes · View notes

my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction · 1 day

Text

Trine [7]

Anselm Vogelweide X Blue Jones X F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Part One • Trine Masterlist • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? • request info • ko-fi •

Series Masterlist

Summary: Anselm and you have meetings all day, and Blue isn't amused.

A/N: This hasn't been proofread, I don't know what I'm doing or what happened this just sort of appeared in my brain.

Warnings: crying, Blue being a bit bratty and then emotional and needy, Blue having emotions?? Whaaat?, oral (m! receiving), reader is married to Anselm, Anselm refers to reader as ‘my love’, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 2813

Blue glares daggers (and bullets and some kind of illegal toxin that makes its victim's skin fall off) at the man sitting opposite you. He couldn’t be bothered to learn his name, refused to, he was fed up of all of the useless and boring people that had been demanding your time today.

His expression quickly changed when you noticed him standing in your office doorway, he smiled sweetly at you, batting his eyes and walking over when you grinned.

“Hello, sweet thing.” You say softly, moving a little and pushing your chair out from your desk a fraction.

Blue leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek then nuzzling into your neck and breathing deeply.

“You okay?” You whisper.

“Hmm, I miss you.” He mutters, putting on the sweetest voice you have ever heard while sneaking a vicious scowl at the gentleman you were having a meeting with. Practically snarling.

You knew exactly what Blue was doing.

But you liked to indulge him.

“Aww,” you say, lightly stroking his hair. He presses himself closer to your hand, like a pampered housecat. “I won’t be much longer, I promise.”

He pouts lightly, a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Come sit with me while I finish this meeting?”

He grins wickedly the second you finish speaking and climbs eagerly into your lap when you tap your thighs. Warmth rolls off his body as he settles, kissing your neck lightly and wrapping his arms around you before he looks back across your desk.

He maintains eye contact with your meeting as he puts his heels up on the edge of your polished wooden desk, something he has asked your permission about before. He wiggles his house slippers, trying to be as much of an annoyance to the man as possible.

To his credit, the man glances quickly back to you, and stays quiet.

You tut lightly and with humour, gently tapping Blue’s shin. “Behave.”

Blue chuckles. “I’m sorry.” He whispers in your ear, very unapologetically with unbridled glee in his voice.

You nod, “Continue Theo.”

Blue rolls his eyes, ugh, as the man across starts to talk. Some nonsense about profits and manufacturing and blah, blah, blah.

You answer every now and then, occasionally questioning and nodding. Blue likes it when you talk, the way your voice rumbles through your chest into his skin. The sounds of your sweet and silky voice forming the syllables.

You don’t get up when Theo finishes and thanks you for your time, due to Blue, but you do shake his hand.

Blue nearly throws a punch when Theo has the gall to ghost his lips over your knuckles. The only thing that stops him is your hand on his waist.

You wait until he’s left and your office door is closed before you regard Blue with a smirk.

He grabs your hand hastily, and licks over the spot Theo’s lips touched before he sucks on your skin.

You chuckle at his little display, at the frown that has formed on his forehead. “Did Anselm kick you out of his office?”

Blue pouts, and eventually pulls his mouth back far enough to answer you. “No.”

“No?”

“He was being dull.”

You laugh. “Dull?” You tease.

“He said I was a distraction. And he was ignoring me.”

“Aw, poor baby.”

Blue nods, squirming a little in your lap. “I am.”

You stroke his hair with your free hand.

“He wouldn’t even let me sit near him.” He sulks, “I had to sit on a regular chair with the other people. Like I was just some business associate.” He grumbles, his frown growing.

You bite your lips together to stop your smile, you’d never seen Blue in quite such a bad mood.

The agreement had been that Anselm would keep Blue with him while you attended to your meetings today.

Blue keeps your hand close, squeezing it rhythmically. You don’t think he consciously realises what he’s doing.

“He’s really upset you, hasn’t he?” You ask softly and Blue nods.

“Yes.” His voice is grumpy and rough, a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“I’ll make sure he makes it up to you later, hmm?” You stroke your fingers down to his chin, taking hold of it and lightly turning him to fully face you.

He shrugs, the pout still on his lips.

Oh, Anselm had really upset him.

“What did he do?”

Blue’s eyes flick to you before looking back at your hand. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Hmm.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” You tease, trying to lighten his mood. But he just sighs and just snuggles closer to you, curling up and pressing his head into your chest.

“Hey,” you say gently, wrapping your arms around him and kissing the top of his head. “You’re ours, you know that right? We love you very much.”

“You love me.” He grumbles, and you laugh.

“We love you.”

“Hmm.”

You squeeze him tighter, just holding him for a moment while he relaxes into your embrace.

“I could get him in here right now,” you say, “make him get on his knees and stuff his mouth with you until you forgive him?”

Blue snorts but shakes his head.

Oh, now that’s really, really worrying you. You pause, thinking. “We could go home? I could put you in that chair I’ve told you about, the one dildo and fleshlight?”

He squirms a little at that, his breathing hitching ever so slightly as he buries his face further into your neck. But it’s still not the reaction you’d come to expect from him.

A little smile spreads across your face, “I have another meeting.” You say softly, and you feel the scowl on his face. “Come on, sit up.”

He groans a little, but does as you ask, expecting to have to get off and leave. Instead you guide him into sitting with his feet flat on the floor and his back against your chest.

“Keep your hands on the armrests, understand?”

He swallows and nods, curiosity mixing with arousal as you unzip his trousers. He’s unsurprisingly hard.

Blue whines the second your fingers touch his length, pressing back closer to you and moaning lightly.

“You know what to say if you want me to stop, yes?”

He nods, swallowing. “Yes.”

“Good.” You kiss his temple and then lean to the side and hit the intercom to your receptionist with your free hand. “Send them in.”

Blue squirms, his breathing catching in his throat as he fights to keep his hips still.

“You like being on show for me?” You whisper in his ear, kissing just below.

He nods, pressing his back as close as he can to your chest. Something settles uncomfortably in his chest, normally this would be driving him crazy. He’d want an audience, demand one. But now…

“Wait…” He grabs your free hand, suddenly unsettled. “I don’t want…”

“Blue?”

“Yellow.” He repeats and you stop instantly, quickly hitting the intercom, “Cancel that, I’m not ready for the next meeting.”

Your receptionist's voice replies with a quick confirmation.

“Blue,” you kiss his cheek while you rub his arm, “my sweet.”

He nuzzles into you, letting out a little heartbreaking sigh.

“I need you to speak with me. Is that alright?”

He nods, fiddling with your fingers. You know it’s difficult for him, communicating. There are walls inside him where most only have open fields.

“What did Anselm do?” You ask gently.

“Nothing.”

You let it rest for a moment.

“It’s me,” Blue says shyly, his voice almost timid. “He didn’t do anything.”

“What happened?” You kiss his temple and he lets out a little soft whimper.

“I was being…”

“Dramatic?” You tease playfully.

“Difficult.” He rephrases, but there’s humour in his voice. “As normal.” He threads his fingers with yours and holds his hand close to his chest.

“Anselm likes it when you’re difficult.”

“I know. And he was only doing what we normally do, I’m… bratty. And he ignores me and then pretends to get annoyed and then…”

“He punishes you.”

He squirms a little, his skin flushing with heat as he nods. “Yeah…”

“And you like that normally.” He nods.

“What was different this time?”

“I… I don’t know.” He swallows, his voice thick. “It felt… I didn’t like him ignoring me.” He presses his face to your chest. “I didn’t like it… it felt… upsetting.”

You listen, giving him room to speak.

“And then…” He swallows again, “I didn’t tell him I didn’t like it, I know I should have… but I didn’t want to, in front of the other people.”

You nod. “I understand.” You soothe. “You know if you had he would have doted on you? Either fucked you in front of them or sent them all out to do it in private.”

Blue nods against you. “I know, I know he would. Part of me… the…” he taps his head, “knows he would have. But,” he presses both hands, and yours in the process, to his chest. “Here was…” His voice breaks a little.

“It’s alright,” you kiss his head again, squeezing him into a hug.

“I should have told him.”

“Sometimes it’s difficult to do things, I understand.”

He nods, swallowing and blinking hard.

“It’s good you came to me though. Better to come to one of us or both rather than just be alone.”

“Hmm,” he lets go of your hand to rub at his eyes.

You let him for a moment and then tilt his head up. There’s wetness on his cheeks.

You kiss his nose, his forehead and cheeks until he’s smiling.

“I’m going to get our husband,” you kiss his temple.

Blue gives you a dopey love sick smile at your turn of phrase, “You don’t have to, I don’t want to bother either of you-”

You shake your head, kissing his nose again. “You are never a bother.” You smile. “Unless it’s in a fun, oh no, you’re so naughty way.”

He smiles, pressing closer to your neck as you.

You call Anselm, who answers immediately, and speak quickly in rapid fire German to explain the situation. Blue tries to listen and pick out words as best he can, but the conversation is lost on him.

When you put your phone down you gently urge Blue to get up and fully redress himself before guiding him out of your office and further down the corridor.

You take him to a side room, using your thumbprint to unlock the door and lead him inside.

It’s fair size, decorated in lots of dark wood and wine red. It reminds Blue a little of a fancy presidential suite, but with more touches that are tailored to your and Anselm’s tastes.

“I didn’t know you had somewhere like this here,” he says quietly, touching the bookshelf.

“It hasn’t been used in a while, there was a time when business was a little more unstable.”

His eyebrows pinch together and there’s a rawness in his gaze. He nods, looking a little frail and lost.

“Here,” you take his hand and sit him down on the large plush sofa, wrapping your right hand over his shoulders as you rest next to him.

He presses closer instantly, snuggling into your embrace. He breathes deeply, his lips against your neck, the action quickly becoming light kisses to your skin.

“Blue,” you say softly, trying to deny the heat that pools in your stomach. “You don’t have to.”

He whines gently for you, the sound almost purring. “Need you, always need you.” He mutters, littering your jaw with kisses until his lips find yours.

His mouth is hot and needy, desperate as he strokes your tongue with his own. His hands pull at your hips, urging you closer.

He breaks the kiss for a moment to undo and pull off his shirt, leaving it uncharacteristically in a hasty mess on the floor.

You run your hands through his hair when he kisses you again, dragging your nails across his scalp and grinning when he shivers and sighs.

Blue doesn’t hear when the door opens, too lost in the feel of you, but you do. You open your eyes as Anselm walks in quickly. There’s a pained expression on his face.

You kiss Blue’s cheek, moving back and holding his jaw softly but firmly when he tries to follow you.

“My kleine blau,” Anselm’s voice rumbles as he reaches the sofa and sits down behind him.

Blue turns, looking down and hesitant. Embarrassed, you realise.

“I didn’t mean to get you out of your meeting-” Blue begins, but is cut off by Anselm’s hand on his cheek, pulling him closer, and his tongue down his throat.

Blue whines softly into the embrace, reaching back and tangling his fingers in Anselm’s wild hair.

You lean up and run your tongue along his collarbone, sucking at his pulse point. Blue’s muffled cry raises in pitch as he grabs hold of your shoulders, pulling you closer.

“I did not realise you were distressed, my love,” Anselm mutters between kisses, his voice low with lust but also pinched with worry. “You are more important than any meeting.” He doesn’t give Blue a chance to answer, swallowing his words every time he tries. “Ever. The most important.”

Anselm moves, lightly touching the back of your neck and pressing warm kisses to your lips. “Thank you for telling me.”

You smile and stroke your husband's cheek. He rests against your palm instantly, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for-” Blue tries to start again.

“Nothing. You are sorry for nothing.” Anselm growls while you kiss Blue to silence him.

“Our Blue,” you mutter into his mouth.

“Our Blue.” Anselm echos as he kisses down Blue’s chest.

Blue moans, squirming ever so slightly as Anselm undoes his belt and slides his trousers from his hips.

“You don’t have to…” He groans loudly as you suck a love bite into the spot just below his ear.

“We want to,” you whisper as Anselm removes his boxers and flicks his tongue against Blue’s tip.

He gasps, muscles twitching as he bucks up.

“Poor thing,” Anselm hums, “being so needy for so long.”

Blue bites his lip and nods, his eyes rolling back as Anselm sucks the head of his cock into his warm mouth. He lets out a string of whimpers and expletives, mumbled pleads as he gasps for air.

He presses his head back against the sofa, sinking into the sensations and grabs for both you and Anselm, taking your hand in his left and Anselm’s in his right.

Anselm sinks lower, taking him further into the tight heat of his mouth.

“Please, please, please,” he whines, not really knowing what he’s saying fully. He squeezes both of your hands desperately, needing you both so badly that it’s painful.

He hiccups, gasps, “I…” but doesn’t know what he wants to ask for.

“Here.” Anselm pulls away and presses at the back of Blue’s thighs, practically bending him in half on himself. He licks up the length of him before moving down and lapping at his balls.

Blue cries out, shivering and shaking in both of your arms.

Anselm licks lower, “my love?” He nods to you and you know what he plans instantly.

You move down and flick your tongue over Blue’s slit as your husband dips his head and spreads Blue wider.

Blue mewls, practically sobbing as you sink deeper, swallowing around his cock as Anselm licks his hole at the same instant.

“Oh,” he bites his lip, his hips bucking and stomach clenching as you bob your head and Anselm laps. “Oh, god.”

He’s going to faint, he’s going to pass out from the feeling. Both of your mouths so hot and wet and perfect, focused completely on him while he writhes at your mercy.

The tight ball of pleasure twists and tightens desperately in his stomach, tingles along his veins. His emotions twirl, combine and threaten to pull him under so suddenly.

The head of his cock bumps against the back of your throat as you swallow, just as Anselm presses the tip of his tongue inside.

“I’m, I’m,” Blue bites his lip, trying to stop himself but finding himself wanting. “I’m gonna cum.”

Both of you moan as he speaks, the hum vibrating so desirously along his nerves, making him delirious from pleasure.

He cries out, his back arching as he comes.

You swallow eagerly as he spurts down your throat, coming and coming so hard that his voice breaks from his scream.

It’s only when his muscles finally relax that you both break your mouths away from him, kissing up his stomach and nuzzle against his skin, wrapping your arms around Blue and hugging him tightly.

He breathes deeply, sweat cooling on his flushed skin, as he clings onto you both, needing the safety of your embrace.

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @whatthefishh

@romanarose @strangerhands @saturn-rings-writes @lonelyisamyw-0love @queerponcho

@steven-grants-world @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @lunar-ghoulie

@silvernight-m @autismsupermusicalassassin @apesarecuul @reallyrallyauthor @basicalyrandom

@alwaysmicado @mangoslushcrush @marc-spectorr @spxctorsslxt @novarosewood

@pygmi-cygni @hammerhead96 @emma23 @sub-aro @killerdollz

@maplemind @mwltwo @loonymagizoologist @dameronshandholder @queerly-anxious

@homuraak3mi @swiftiegirliepop @oscarssimp @milkypompon @eternallyvenus

@mandytrekkie @lounilu @avengersinitiative2012 @pigeonmama @marcsb1tch

@iolaussharpe-24 @chaithetics @krakenkitty @ominoose @purple-amaranthe

@marcsb1tch @dowbastan

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

36 notes · View notes