Hard to sleep
bsf!ellie x bsf!reader
Masc!ellie x fem!reader
summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)
It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪
(Happy End)
c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!
authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆
“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”
You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.
“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.
“Holy fuck”
You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.
“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”
You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.
“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”
“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”
You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.
Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.
“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.
“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”
“Um I do?”
You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.
You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.
You just don’t want to fuck this up.
“You should wear a skirt today”
“Huh?”
Ellie appears in the door.
“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again
“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”
Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”
“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine
Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.
“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”
“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”
“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”
You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.
It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.
That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.
“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”
Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.
And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.
You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.
“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”
Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.
But she just keeps walking and looking forward.
“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”
Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.
“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.
Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.
You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.
“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.
“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.
“Iris. I sit with her in biology”
“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.
Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.
“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”
Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.
Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.
Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.
“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.
Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.
“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.
You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.
“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”
“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”
“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”
She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?
“Okay she’ll be there”
“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.
“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”
“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting
“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.
“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.
“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.
It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.
“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.
“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.
“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”
“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”
“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.
Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.
You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.
The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.
You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.
You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.
“Fuck” you whisper annoyed
You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.
I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay
What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?
I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party
You don’t have to do that Ellie
I get it really
I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?
I can hear you say this in my head
Shut up and get ready dork
You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.
In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.
You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.
There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.
You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.
You smile excited and do a little spin.
“is this okay?” You ask her
“Pretty. You look very pretty”
You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.
Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.
“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.
She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.
A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.
Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.
“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”
You whisper in her ear
“I love you too…”
You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.
“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”
“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”
Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.
“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.
Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.
It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.
Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.
“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.
She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.
“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”
“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.
“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip
You take a step back and look at her really mad now.
“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.
You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.
“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”
Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.
“Don’t fucking Touch me.”
And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.
You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.
You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.
You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.
After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.
Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.
You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.
“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.
“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.
“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”
You look at her with your mouth a bit open.
Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.
“Yes… yeah sure why not”
The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.
You Open a window and lean on to the wall.
“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.
The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.
“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.
“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.
You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.
You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.
“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.
“No but I don’t smoke often”
“Hm”
“Sorry what’s your name?”
She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.
“Abby”
“Nickname?”
“Yeah for Abigail”
“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.
“Thank you… so what do you study?
“Psychology” I murmur
Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.
“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.
“No, general”
“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”
You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.
“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.
“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.
“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”
And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.
“Pre-med”
“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.
“You might become a fucking doctor”
She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.
“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.
You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.
Fuck this woman has some muscles.
You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.
“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.
Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.
You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.
She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.
“What the fuck?”
Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.
“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”
“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”
You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.
But never this mad.
“We’re going”
Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.
“Sorry but you can’t just do that”
“You don’t know shit”
Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.
“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”
Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.
You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.
“Get in” she hisses
You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.
“Ellie-“
“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”
She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.
The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.
You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.
You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.
“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”
Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.
“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“
“I would always choose you”
This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.
“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”
Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.
She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.
You’ll choose each other.
You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.
“I want you to kiss me-“
She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.
If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.
And you would still kiss each other over and over again.
Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.
Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.
“Wait - wait”
She stopped immediately.
“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.
Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.
“I couldn’t do it”
“Couldn’t do what?”
Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face
“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”
Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.
“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”
Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.
“Give me a second”
You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.
Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed
And don’t worry about Ellie
Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.
“You’re okay with sleeping here?”
Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.
“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”
You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.
“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.
“N-no im fine Are you fine?”
You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.
“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.
“Yes I can do that”
You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.
“Can you open my dress for me?”
She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.
The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.
Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.
The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.
A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.
The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.
Her eyes wander over your whole body.
Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.
Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.
“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.
You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.
“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.
She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.
“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.
Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.
It’s all you ever wanted.
All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.
You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.
Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.
“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.
You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”
Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.
Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.
For a while both of you almost fought about the control.
“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.
But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.
Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.
“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.
You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.
“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.
Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.
“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.
It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.
Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.
“Here”
Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.
“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.
The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.
You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.
Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.
You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.
She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.
“I really love these fuck” she whispers
The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.
“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.
“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.
“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“
the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.
“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.
Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.
Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.
She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.
Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.
“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.
“Nothing just happy to be here”
You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.
“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.
Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.
“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“
Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.
“You taste so good, just like I imagined”
Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.
“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”
You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.
“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.
Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.
The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.
Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.
“Ellie- please don’t stop”
She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.
“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.
“Fuck- so close god-“
She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.
“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.
“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”
You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.
You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.
When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.
“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”
You said chuckling.
“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.
“Ew ellie”
“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.
You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.
“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.
“Ellie is this just-“
“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.
“What”
“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”
Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.
She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.
You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.
“I also love you… that for a while as well”
A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭
And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!
Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!
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