#ill give you one hundred thousand dollars

[grantwilson]

☕ I'm doing it again because you put more work into my random reverse vampirism bit than I thought you would.

Give me thoughts on what a fun villain version of yourself would be like (feel free to give them superpowers or otherwise)

ooh this is fun. ok i'm thinking like, evil scientist mixed with witch? like their potions and alchemy are all just chemistry, but also they do cast spells with a wand. ooh and their wand is like a test tube! or a syringe. you remember those old-ass gates from the fence question? yeah those are all around my lair. it's a castle on a hill, somehow there's always a thunderstorm circling directly above it, you know the deal. im realizing this is less of a traditional supervillain and more like "what if victor frankenstein had magic" but you shouldn't ask me open ended questions if you dont want a longass barely relevant answer. anyway now im gonna try to figure out a name for this guy.

ideas:

-the witch doctor (pretty sure that's taken)

-my alchemical necromancer (not really a name for a person but it's fun)

at this point i started going through fantasy name generators, as i so often do. but i realized that this character's name needs to be completely original. i cant just steal a sick name i find online.

something combining plants with science is the direction im leaning towards. an alchemist and a druid. shit im doing slightly more fucked up poison ivy. ok less of the science/plants angle and more of the potions/tonics/chemicals. to the wikipedia. wait what am i searching. something that's a pun on a scientific name but not just like, Cy Anide or whatever. i sure hope looking at the wikipedia page for poison doesn't put me on a list. "Poison is something that causes harm." thanks wikipedia.

-colonel mustard gas (that's really stupid)

-belladonna could be something

ok im gonna try looking at elements. there's gotta be something in there.

i like cadmium. i could do something there.

belladonna has to have been used for something like this, right? too bad, i've been thinking about this for way too long and im getting bored.

name: Dr. Bella Donna, aka The Witch Doctor

gender: lil scamp

color scheme: purple/green/black

alignment: chaotic chaos

should i delete all of my ramblings: definitely. but im not going to

[trivia-yandere]

payment plan

your husband and you find yourself bankrupt and dead broke thanks to his gambling problem. his younger brother - successful businessman kim seokjin - offers a helping hand free of charge. unbeknownst to his brother, you would be the one paying seokjin for his charity. @momnomnom @darkuni63 @sweetempathprunetree @minshookie29

valentine’s day masterlist | part 2 (coming oct.12)

word count: 5.509

warning: non-con/coercion, cmnf, smut, dub-con, degradation/humiliation, dominant jin, submissive reader, collaring, affair, unsolicited touching, impregnation kink, thigh riding, oral sex/deep throat, dirty talk, kissing, creampie,

“Your collar…” Jin murmurs, his eyes staring at the pink collar he has given you. It has diamonds wrapped around and in the middle, is a gold shaped heart. “...is so cute.”

“Thank you, sir.” you murmur, your thighs clenching together nervously underneath Jin’s intense gaze.

“Isn’t it sad that your husband is away?” Jin scoffs, a wicked smirk forming onto his lips - rosy and plump.

Kim Seokjin, tall with a slender build. Dark hair and even darker eyes. He’s beautiful - utterly gorgeous. His beauty is often compared to that of a God; ethereal. He carried himself as such, strutting into any room and completely holding the attention from everyone occupying it.

Kim Seokjin, wealthy - one of the richest men in the nation. He owned several businesses that thrived; all of which funded his life. He had enough generational wealth that his great-great grandchildren wouldn’t have to work - and he’d often boast about that fact. Kim Industries were one of the most well known and luxurious industries to be a part of - employees were even looked at as better off just for being apart of the business. 

Kim Seokjin, your brother-in-law. The very man who stood besides your husband, his elder brother, while you and he were wed. He gave a speech about the love you and your husband had was that of true love and raised his glass to give you a celebratory toast - “to my sister-in-law, Y/N. Welcome to the family.” 

Kim Seokjin, your brother-in-law, and the same man you are having an affair with. 

“It is sad, sir.”

Jin tilts his head a bit. “Then why don’t you look it?” he questions. “Maybe you’re happy to be with me instead of your good for nothing husband?”

You swallow at Jin’s harsh words, appearing physically ill at them. Jin doesn’t care, however, and openly berates his brother around you at any given moment.

It was 5 months prior when your husband came to you and confessed that he was completely broke - that you and he had not a dollar to your names. It came as a shock. No, your husband was not as wealthy as Jin - but he was nowhere near broke. Their father had helped start up a business before allowing them out in the world. While Jin branched out and became a big name in multiple industries, your husband was smaller. However, the Kim name had benefits. 

“How are we broke?” you asked with wide eyes, not believing your ears. “We have a few  hundred thousands saved up for a rainy day.”

Your husband had confided in you that the money was gone - everything that was saved has since been wiped away. 

The home you and he bought had to be sold, along with the cars. You were homeless, and the only way your husband was willing to turn was his younger brother.

Seokjin had welcomed you two with open arms and gave his brother a job at one of the many businesses he owned - it was an ego killer. Your husband was the older brother, but yet, the younger one was more successful and thriving. You and your husband moved into Seokjin’s home (even if he did have enough money to lend you a vacation home) and allowed you to borrow his cars whenever needed.

The hours your husband worked were always long, working from sun up to sun down. He came home exhausted and didn’t want to do anything but rest - and you understood. You contemplated asking Jin if there were any available openings in his business for you to work, but your husband shot you down. “I’m the man, Y/N. I have to be the one providing for you.”

As much as you appreciated the efforts your husband set in place, you wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth - that you trusting him got you nowhere. You were homeless, staying in a (large mansion, yes) with his brother, becoming a complete burden on him. 

Your feelings were never stated aloud, but it showed in your actions. You loved your husband to death truly, but you didn’t want to be around him. You soon got your own room in the mansion and to keep yourself busy, decided to take on chores. You cleaned from top to bottom and cooked constantly. As much as you were annoyed with your husband, you always assured he had three meals a day that you cooked personally.

“I am happy to be with you.” you murmur to Jin, understanding that it’s what he wants to hear. Despite being highly successful and wealthy, hearing that he was better than his elder brother brought satisfaction over Kim Seokjin.

“I know you are.” Jin brings a hand up to touch your cheek softly. “Isn’t this why you allow me to do whatever I want to you? Because my good for nothing brother puts his lovely wife…” Jin trails his hand down to your collared neck. “...in the hands of another man.”

You swallow the lump in your throat nervously. 

“Nothing in this world is free, Y/N-ah.” you recall Jin speaking those very words to you for the first time. You had just gotten out of the shower, strolling into your bedroom in nothing but a robe to find the man on your bed. He sits poshly, waiting for you. “I give my brother a job, a place to stay and in return…” Jin trailed off, having since pushed himself from your bed to come to you and without a warning, hands dipped between your robe.

Jin never forgot to remind you that you lived in his home - that you husband (though his  brother) worked right under him and if he truly desired, could fire him at any given moment just because. 

Maybe that’s why you never told Jin no - that you allowed him to touch you. In the beginning, it was only that; touching. He would come up behind you while you washed the dishes and press himself firmly against you, his hands gripping your waist before they rub up your sides - but then he’d leave you be. 

But of course, with you never stopping him - it escalated. Jin was no longer satisfied with just touching you because what was the fun in that? Your husband's work load became longer until he had no days off - and he never went against it. That only meant that you were alone with Jin more often. 

“You keep clenching your legs together.” Jin notes. “Are you rubbing them together because you want some type of friction?” he then shakes his head with a scoff. “Just like a whore would.”

Jin turns away from you and ventures into the bedroom - his bedroom. You swallow, now remembering that you and he were just in the hallway of the large mansion. “Come.”

And you do, following him into his bedroom. You never been inside his room before - he always came to yours. But it’s large and as luxurious as the rest of his home. His bed is large - possibly a California king - and it sits right in the middle of the room and behind it is a large window that takes up nearly the whole wall. It’s snowing, the trees outside are covered in beautiful white snow and the amount of it covers the ground completely. You are in awe at the view that Seokin has just outside his window that has such beautiful natural light that there wasn’t any need for one inside the room to be on.

Your eyes scan over the rest of the room and it’s then you notice just how it’s covered in mirrors - even on the ceiling. You wonder if this is a room Seokjin sleeps in, or just takes whatever flings he has.  

“Come.” Jin repeats, venturing towards the left of his room to a cushioned seat - it’s gray and matches his bed perfectly. He takes a seat, eyebrows lifting for you to come to him. “I’m glad you wore the lingerie I bought for you. Pink is so cute on your skin.”

Jin’s complement causes your body to flush with heat. You could never grow accustomed to it - maybe it’s the way he speaks. He’s always so smooth and his words come out so natural.

“Sit.” Jin commands and you venture over to him. His eyes lower to your crotch, satisfied with himself that he got crotchless lingerie for you to wear. As much as he enjoyed your naked figure, there was something about the pink hue against your skin that he loves to stare at.

“On my thigh.” Jin commands once more and you know where he’s getting at. You swallow once more, seating yourself on his clothed thigh.

Jin loved when you were naked - or nearly - and he was fully clothed. There was something about getting you out of your clothes that drove him crazy, even if he was able to mask it perfectly - and you never fought him about it, either. You were the perfect submissive woman he needed - and the fact that you weren’t his woman made it better.

“Don’t just sit there shy, Y/N.” Jin speaks. He widens his legs, manspreading to get comfortable on the chair. “Go ahead and rub yourself on my thigh. It has to feel better than squeezing your legs together.”

You don’t fight Jin - you never do. Your hips begin to buckle. You never liked when Jin’s eyes were on you - they were so dark and voyeuristic; always watching you whenever he saw fit. However, there’s nothing you could ever say to him about it - he made sure to remind you just who signs your husbands paychecks.

Every Time you do this with Jin - cheat on your husband with his brother - it always ends with you regretting it. But, in the moment, you don’t allow yourself to ever deny him - you tell yourself because your life depends on him, but there was another side of you. The reality of it all that you were enjoying this - secretly enjoying the affair and how scandalous it was. You enjoyed the way Jin would touch you, sometimes even sneaking touches when his brother was around.

“You’re so wet, Y/N. You’re ruining my suit pants. It’s expensive - far more than anything your husband can afford.”

You think Jin enjoys talking down to his brother but cannot understand why. Your husband never does, you note, and when they’re around one another they appear to be close; often laughing and sharing stories of their childhood.

Jin places a hand on your thigh to squeeze it. “Go faster.”

You do as you’re told, a low groan releasing from your lips. You bite your lips to hold back another, but Jin slaps your thigh. “Stop hiding your moans. I want to hear you.” 

You moan a little louder, the friction against your clit feeling just right. You begin to rock your hips in circles, whining at how good it truly felt - and how pathetic you were for allowing this to happen.  

Jin’s eyes darken and he licks his plump lips. There was nothing like a woman - someone like you exactly - grinding against his thigh and chasing her own orgasm. You were considered off-limits - not only a married woman, but a woman who is married to his brother. You were like a forbidden fruit, something so tempting but he shouldn’t have; out of his reach.

But, you weren’t that. Nothing was out of Kim Seokjin’s reach - not even you. You wore the collar that he gave you willingly, along with the lingerie and now, your pussy is drenched and staining his suit pants. “Go ahead and cum for me, Y/N. I know you want to.” Jin says, squeezing your thigh even harder in encouragement. 

Your pussy is so warm and wet; it drenches through Jin’s suit pants and he can feel just how excited you are on his own thigh. 

Jin loves to watch you - loves to watch you come undone just for him. You grind against his thigh harder, whimpering freely as your eyes begin to roll in the back of your head.

Jin slides two fingers beneath your grinding pussy to have a feel of your wet clit and it takes everything in him to not groan at the juices that coat his fingers. “How slutty.” Jin’s voice is raspy as he responds to you.

Your body shudders with goosebumps with how deep Seokjin’s voice becomes. You’re now grinding against Jin’s fingers and you cum almost instantly, a shrill cry releasing from your throat.

Jin places his fingers into his mouth and hums. “How sweet you are, Y/N, cumming all over the place.” he pops his fingers from his mouth. “I let you cum, Y/N. I want you to do the same.”

“Yes, sir-”

Jin is already pushing you off of him and forcing you to your knees. Your eyes open instantly when your knees hit the cold floor, but you don’t protest. 

Jin shakes his head while a smirk forms onto his lips. “You’re so obedient, Y/N. You do everything I tell you to do without question.” he then places a hand against your cheek. “Isn’t that right?”

You nod your head. “That’s right, sir.” you respond. 

Jin hums, his eyes zoning in on your face. His thumb traces your lips softly for a bit, and you’re confused as to what he’s doing and what the hold up was. “I was thinking about giving your husband a raise. He’s been doing such a good job lately.”

There’s malice in Jin’s tone as he speaks; spite. He scoffs a bit after he says it and you swallow at what he’s about to say next in anticipation. “Depends on how well you treat me, Y/N.”

And there it was - you’ve known as much. Jin wasn’t doing anything out of the pure kindness of his heart; he was sleeping with his brother's wife after all. This was nothing but a game to him - whatever issues he had with his brother, you’d never know. 

There’s nothing for you to say in response to Jin. You only nod your head, your hands tangling with his suit pants to take him out. Jin watches you with fierce eyes, never leaving you once. 

Your hands are trembling under his gaze, but this isn’t something that you need to mess up.

It’s sad - and you cannot be upset with anyone but yourself. You’ve allowed Jin to grow comfortable with disrespecting your marriage - you allowed him to talk down about your husband to the point that he does it constantly, even in moments such as this. There’s a part of you that hates yourself for allowing yourself to be used by this man.

But then the other part of you is attempting to give yourself grace. The other side of you wanted to blame your husband for losing everything in the marriage; so much so that you felt like you needed to do this with Jin so the man wouldn’t grow spiteful - so you could remain in his home while your husband continued to work in his brother's company. 

Jin notices your internal dialogue as you begin to remove his cock from his underwear, but he doesn’t bring himself to care much. After all, he never heard a no from you - you gave him what he wanted without a fight.  

Jin was no monster - but you weren’t a saint either. You moaned for him loudly when he was inside of you. You begged for more when you were drunk off of pure pleasure. Your fingernails scarred his back and your juices would stain his clothing.

You wanted this just as badly as Jin did - you were just a married woman who, at the end of it all, had to look herself in the mirror. He didn’t have a wife he had to look at after fucking you - and he could care less about looking his brother in the face.

“You’re doing this for your husband.” Jin says to you, your hand wrapped firmly around his erect cock. His plump lips offer you a smile - that looks more like a smudged smirk - but all he wants to do is make you more comfortable. 

Your lips wrap around Jin’s tip, tongue swirling as if it was a lollipop. There’s pre-cum on it, your tastebuds swallowing the salty substance. 

‘You’re doing this for your husband’ Jin’s words ring through your ears as you do, your hands pumping the shaft of his cock. You couldn’t be so sure you were doing this for him anymore - as selfish as it sounds.

 Losing everything in a blink of an eye has you constantly fearing going through it once more and the selfish side of you was enjoying the attention you weren’t getting from your husband, but from his brother. You were enjoying the expensive gifts that he’d give and the random money he would wire into your account - even if it did eat away at you to accept them.

You continued to suck harder, taking Jin deeper into your mouth. He winces, his hands clenching slightly. Licking his lips, Jin tilts his head at you. “There’s my Y/N.” he moans, hooded eyes watching how purely whorish you appeared taking him fully. “There’s my girl coming out.”

His Y/N - Jin told you time and time again that a part of you - the side that accepted the affair - would come out. This was the side that would moan freely, would hug him closer and the side that would beg for more. This was his Y/N - the Y/N that was determined to make him cum by any means necessary; that would fuck him like her life depended on it (and of course it did).

Your eyes glance up at him and for a moment Jin is stuck. His cheeks flush at you - and it wasn’t something he needed you noticing; he had to have the ultimate control at all times.

The solution? Forcing your head down, taking him even deeper. Your nose hits the cleanly groom patch of hair on his pelvis, his cock hitting the back of your throat. You gag - but it only edges on Jin further. 

“Don’t do it for your husband, Y/N. Do it for yourself.” Jin says, his head firmly on the back of your head to keep you in place. “Maybe that would make you act a little better.”

Your tongue lays flat as you suck, your head managing to lean back so only the tip is in your mouth, and quickly before Jin could react, you take him back into your throat, sucking with all your might.

Jin hisses, his toes curling inside his dress shoes. The noises that echo off of his room are filthy - his moans mixed with your slurping and gagging.

“How selfish my Y/N truly is. You like having a cock in your throat as long as the cock is providing for you, huh?” Jin squeezes his hand into your hair to keep you firmly in place, panting at just how good you were taking him. “I guess I’ll have to spoil you after this, huh? Not like your husband could.”

Your eyes begin to water, but you refuse to stop your sucking. Jin’s hips are moving a bit, and he’s cursing low to himself. He wants to tear his eyes away from you - but he’s mesmerized. There’s drool running down your chin and your eyes are watery and to him you look absolutely beautiful -  how could he not want to wire you thousands of dollars after this?

You pop off of Jin’s cock with a loud ‘pop’ing sound, saliva connecting your lips to his cock. Your hands immediately wrap around his length to jerk him vigorously, your tongue twirling on the tip for him to cum.

“Oh, fuck.” Jin groans, right as your eyes and his connect. You were jerking his cock with need - as if you were the one that was cumming. He begins to whimper, his thighs trembling. The familiar bubbling in his abdomen is returning - like it did time and time again when he was with you. “So good for me, baby.”

Jin’s praises shouldn’t be getting to you, but they do. They always do. He could be demanding while you and he were intimate, as well as degrading. However, there were times in which he did speak to you nicely; complimenting you at how good you were to and for him. He’d often call you beautiful and assured that you would always be taken care of regardless of the situation you were in - in the end of it all, you took it as nothing but pillow talk. 

However, you were now in the moment just as Seokjin was and you were determined to make the man cum. You bring the tip of his cock back into your mouth and you continue to suck, your palm jerking him to cum. Doing this, Jin begins to pant, his speech cut off. His head hangs back and his eyes are rolling with pleasure - such a beautiful sight, you think. Even when convulsing in pleasure did Kim Seokjin look beautiful.

Jin groans -  a groan that comes from deep in his throat. He wants to praise you and tell you just how good you’re doing; but maybe that was the side of him that likes you. That, of course, he can’t. He’s unable to form any words and all he can focus on is the pleasure that runs through his body entirely. It was as if his brain was shutting down and fuck did it feel amazing.

Jin’s thighs are quivering and he’s cumming, his breathing coming out in hushed stutters. He cums so much, thick white robes painting the inside of your mouth. It’s so much that it surprises you that it begins to seep out of your mouth, but you assure yourself to swallow as much as you could.

You release Jin’s cock and heave, the air hitting your throat refreshing. You’re sure you looked a mess; tear stained cheeks, blurry and red eyes and drool (and cum) mixed on your lips. But you don’t dwell on the fact - it wasn’t anything Seokjin wasn’t accustomed to seeing already.

It takes a few moments for Jin to compose himself. His eyes are closed and his thighs gently tremble until they stop completely. His mind is flooding with just what he has gotten himself into with you - an act he does each time you manage to make him cum.

“Sir?”

Jin snaps his eyes open and looks at you. You’re on your knees - where you belonged - and looked at him with a tilted head.

Jin leans forward, licking his plump lips. “You’re so obedient.” he murmurs to you, the Jin you knew coming back like a full circle. “The collar suits you.”

You yelp when Jin snatches said collar and yanks it harshly. His lips meet yours in a rushed kiss - an action he’s never done. You and Seokjin don’t kiss; it’s an act far too intimate for two people having an affair. He never initiated it before, and neither have you. Yet, kissing Jin felt right and there's electricity running through your veins. His lips are warm and soft to the touch and though you never initiated a kiss with the man before, you don’t find yourself pushing away from it.

Jin is amused (and satisfied) when you softly protest when he pushes you away from him. “You look like a kick puppy, Y/N. When was the last time you kissed your husband?”

Jin snickers when you glance away - you did because even you didn’t know. Jin kept his hours long (intentionally, now you know) and there was never any time for you and him to ever be alone. And even though you loved your husband for wanting to be better and get out of the financial bind he put the two of you in, there's a sinister side to you that still despises him for putting you in that situation to begin with.

“Come.”

Jin yanks at your collar and has you standing to your feet along with him. He pushes you towards his bed and you fall back with a low yelp. 

“Open your legs.” Jin demands and instantly, you comply. “Good girl.” he murmurs.

Between your legs was Jin’s favorite place to be - being inside you or his tongue buried in your pussy. Your pussy is always wet for him; warm and inviting. You gave it up to him so willingly and each time he took it with gratitude. 

Jin couldn’t get enough of you - and it had to be a deeper reason. You weren’t his woman to have, but he took you selfishly. He buries his tongue deep against your clit, not taking another second away. He laps against your pussy eagerly, eyes glancing up to see your shocked (yet satisfied) face - brows knitted and mouth agape as a moan draws out.

Jin’s hands place themselves on your outer thigh, allowing you to slightly cage him in between them - because that could never stop him from having his taste of you. He has no choice but to bury his face deeper into your pussy, suckling even harder against your swollen clit.

“F-Feels so good, sir.” you wail and Jin knows this. His eyes never leave your face as his tongue continues to lap. “G-Gonna cum already.”

Jin snickers - you were always so quick to cum when he had you like this. Like the perfect little whore you were, he thinks. He knows his brother could never please you the same way he does - you always walked around so uptight and shy. Your legs clenched together for whatever friction because his brother was far too busy to pleasure you.

 Now, you had that glow to you. Jin assured that you’d cum each and every time you and him were together - just like now.

Jin slams your legs open, pinning them against your shoulder. The position is as lewd as his actions, but that doesn’t stop him. He devours your pussy entirely, tongue ravishing your clit so loudly that his suckling is dancing off of the walls.

“S-Sir, slow down-”

Jin didn’t want to hear anything you were about to say. You didn’t tell him what to do - he was Kim Seokjin. If he wanted to lick your clit until you were squirting against him he would - because he was Kim Seokjin. 

Jin’s hands hold your thighs apart even tighter to assure you have no way to escape him, his tongue sliding against your clit entirely and entering in and out of you. Your eyes snap shut, squeezing so tightly. You were being swallowed up by the black hole of pleasure. There’s whimpering coming from you as well as the familiar moisture at the corner of your eyes. 

Jin shoves you away hastily. “I’m going to fuck a baby into you, Y/N.” Jin says suddenly - an act that is just as shocking as him kissing you.

You don’t get time to protest before Jin is flipping you onto your stomach and forcing your ass into the air. He’s behind you, positioning himself at your entrance.

Jin enters you without hesitation, needing no time to prep you because of how wet you are. He starts off rough, cock so deep that it brings back the familiar black hole of pleasure. 

Jin is brutal as he fucks you - but he was a man on a mission. He’s clouded by his own lust and selfish desire that he doesn’t hold back any of his own thoughts. 

“You’d want that, wouldn’t you?” Jin asks harshly, pulling both of your hands behind your back to hoist you up. “For me to fuck a baby into you?”

“Y-Yes, sir!” you wail, far too gone in pleasure that you don’t completely take in what Jin is saying. 

“You’re so drunk off of dick that you’ll say anything. There’s my Y/N.” Jin cracks his hips deeper and deeper into you, hitting your sweet spot with each thrust. Your juices are leaking down your thigh and staining his bedsheets, but he would never care. “I’m going to get you pregnant and watch my pathetic brother raise the child as his.” he laughs gleefully, his plan completely insane. 

You’re pushed away from Jin and you fall completely against the mattress. Jin hikes a leg up so he can go deeper into you.

“But don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll make sure our child has the best of the best.” Jin groans, eyes focused on the way your ass bounces against him. “And when they’re of age, I’ll tell them the truth. That the pathetic father they thought they had was not really their father.” Jin leans down, both hands firmly against the mattress for support. “And they’ll inherit millions from me. It’s better than having nothing like my pathetic brother.”

“Feels so good!” you moan into the mattress and all Jin could do is laugh - because you were far too gone to notice anything he was saying; and just how real his plans for you are.

“Yeah?” Jin manages to flip you again and now on your back, he allows you to wrap your legs around him. “So good for me, Y/N. Such an obedient little whore.”

Jin connects his lips to yours again and instantly, you wrap your arms around him. You were determined not to let him go this time - and he allowed it. Kissing you felt right; even when it was wrong. Not only because you weren’t his woman (because he was well aware of such and didn’t give a fuck) but because it was a sign of affection.

“Want you to fuck me all night.” you plead against his lips, holding him so close that you coild feel his own heartbeat. 

So dick drink, Jin thinks, but he doesn’t respond. He’s unable to, far too focused on giving you exactly what you want. 

Jin ponders how his brother wasn’t fighting him to have more time off of work. Your pussy is amazing - carved from the Gods. You’re gripping him so tight with a pussy that’s so wet that if he was in his brothers position, he wouldn’t be at work now - no, he’d be fucking you into the mattress.

But Jin wasn’t your husband and he was doing exactly what he should be doing to you.

“Squeezing me so tight, Y/N. Gonna cum already?” Jin taunts, but even he was ready to cum inside of you.

 The thought of getting you pregnant is stuck deep in Jin’s mind; watching you grow heavy and round with his seed. He would have a deep bond with the child, assuring that he would be loved far more than his brother would be with the child. He would be impressed with how large your breast would be as you grew with his child and how beautiful you’d look pregnant.

“Shit,” Jin’s forehead presses against yours. He plunges his cock inside of you with need now - the need to impregnate immediately - and to do this as many times as it takes for you to conceive.

Warmth floods deep inside of you just as you’re reaching your high. You squeeze Jin, hugging him closer to your exhausted and convulsing body and never wanting to let the man go.

You and Jin fucked for hours in various positions you’ve never been in. You had awoken suddenly, body exhausted in a bedroom that didn’t belong to you. Jin wasn’t there, you noticed, and that was your cue to take your leave.

Doing the walk of shame back to your bedroom was something you’d have to look yourself in the mirror about later. Your body was aching and all you truly wanted to do was have a soothing bath and then go right back to sleep.

You opened the door to your bedroom and stopped in your tracks. Your eyes scanned the room entirely.

Balloons littered the ceiling entirely - all red, white and pink. Your bed - king-sized that sat in the middle of the room, sat rose petals shaped neatly into a large heart. In the middle of it sat a small envelope, but that was the least of your concerns. 

Flower bouquets are surrounding your bed - all roses of different colors - and there’s dozens of gift bags waiting to be opened.

You enter your bedroom and close your door behind you. You ponder did your husband do all of this for you - and if he did, just how did he manage to do so without wondering where you were at the entire time?

Your heart sinks at the thought of your husband doing this for you and you were cheating on him with his brother.

You grasp the small envelope on your bed and open it. It’s a card - something simple written inside of it but it causes your heart to swell with realization.

My Y/N.

Happy Valentine’s Day

-Seokjin

part 2 (coming oct. 12) | teaser to part 2

[ofsappho]

HOW BADLY DO *YOU* WANT A HEARTLESS UPDATE?

Because I’ve got one that I’m working on…. BUT

(Inspired by @cuckoo-on-a-string )

I want to make art that helps do good. I want my fic to be a haven for the underrepresented, the marginalized, fat people, queer people, disabled people, people of color.

But making art isn’t enough. So I offer a proposition: I will complete and post this chapter of Heartless IF AND ONLY IF Heartless readers collectively donate FIFTY ($50) USD to this gofundme for my friend Lina

Lina is an incredibly brave and strong young woman. She’s a 25 year old woman from Gaza and a new mother. I first got to know Lina when I started donating and boosting the gofundme she made when she was NINE MONTHS PREGNANT to help evacuate her and her husband to Egypt, so she could safely deliver her son Omar.

Remember that miscarriages are up over 300% in Gaza. Remember that tens of thousands of babies, some born and some still in their mothers’ wombs, have been bombed, starved to death, torn into pieces, died from illness, all because of the illegal Israeli occupation and genocide against Palestinians.

We refused to let Lina and her son Omar and her husband Yousef become another family exterminated by Israel. We raised enough money for Lina and her husband to get through the Rafah Crossing into Egypt, where Lina had Omar in a hospital, with anesthesia, antibiotics, doctors tending to her. Not a tent in a bombed refugee camp with no food, water, or medicine.

Now Lina is raising money to help get her family out of Gaza, along with the money necessary to help sustain her and her husband + son’s life in Egypt. Her brother is a heroic paramedic who helped saved countless Gazan lives in the past months of the genocide until he was too injured to help any longer.

I myself have already donated a lot of money towards her cause (I mean in the hundreds). But I can do more and we can do more. If even TEN Heartless readers give $5 USD, we’ll have hit the goal and I will update AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

How does this work? Send me proof that you’ve donated (whatever amount you can) via my ask inbox or my direct messages, I will reblog this post to let everyone know how close we are to our goal + check with Lina to make sure she’s got the donations, and that’s it! Easy peasy.

Every dollar counts. You can also share her gofundme with YOUR friends and family, ask them to donate. If they do, send me the same proof and I’ll count it towards our goal!!!

Through collective people power, we saved Omar. He and Lina would’ve died in Gaza if Lina had to give birth there. He is an innocent baby boy who has the right to grow up in a peaceful, loving, healthy environment with his family. He deserves that.

Please only give what you are able to. If you can’t give anything, share Lina’s gofundme with anyone who can give. Help us save Lina’s family and give baby Omar the chance to grow up, and get some fic out of it.

[verdemoun]

i'm sorry i have to ask for more Callander boys stuff in the timewarp au please and thank you

yes i am a little in love with them

kieran is convinced the magic of friendship would have meant him and mac would have been friends even in canon era due to their love of horses and general complimentary personalities

mac would laugh at this suggestion. he had been the one to suggest the gelding tongs as an intimidation tactic, and if he had been there when they captured kieran it wouldn't have been just a threat. part of bill's enthusiasm to use them was to be able to tell mac the story afterwards (but mac never came home)

it really threw the gang that mac was the one who was able to settle down out of the two. davey had always seemed like the more level-headed, and sort of his brother's keeper. davey only had to say the word and mac would snuff out whatever red-tinted spree of violence he was on

the difference is, when mac was asked 'what are you good at other than robbing, smoking, shooting and killing', he admitted he didn't know. davey insisted that was all he was good at, and it was all he wanted to be good at.

mac had a very normal childhood. the callanders parents both worked, his mom was a seamstress, his dad worked at the general store. mac went to school. he wasn't a good student, wasn't a bad student. he had the perfect, average, nuclear 1870s life.

their father was crushed by a wagon in a freak accident, and their mother passed away of illness shortly after (she had turned to prostitution to keep her boys fed, which is something mac did not know. following her death, mac would react violently whenever someone mentioned it)

mac was raising davey from the time he was 10, and davey was only 4. mac would have done anything to give his brother a normal life - if davey had ever wanted a normal life. but when mac was insisting he would teach davey how to read and ride a horse, davey was asking how to shoot a gun, how mac steals things from stores without getting caught.

yes davey was too young to remember any different and yes maybe davey could have been a different person if he actually experienced a stable life but by the time he timewarped he didn't have the desire to. it was too alien. davey was a willfully lost cause

despite being brothers they just had insanely different mindsets based on their experiences despite sharing them. mac is capable of choosing good, but situations where he sees violence as the only option is most situations because he will catastrophic think into how it could be a threat to himself or davey's life so readily

davey, however, would always choose violence. people would rather rob with mac because sure there's a 90% chance of it becoming a shoot out but if a coach had women and children in it? mac would walk away. davey would argue that it just meant it was an easy target but because he could be reasoned with, unlike mac who would make a decision and stick with it, none of the gang saw it as a red flag

when mac was learning how to be a functioning adult post-prison in timewarp someone as a joke got him a bright 'nervous rescue give me space' shirt and it is unironically one of the comfiest things he owns so he wears it constantly

lenny never liked davey and this only worsens as post release. sean immediately offers to take davey out to a casino which becomes a regular thing because they were similarly reckless pals back in the day. except davey hasn't changed at all and sean loses hundreds if not thousands of dollars in poker before lenny puts his foot down

[heyteenbookshey]

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

So this came out when I had started grad school and was struggling big time with my undiagnosed OCD. I read one chapter and it freaked me out so much I gave it to my friend to read. Like a year later I decided I wanted to try it again and asked to borrow it, but she had gotten BED BUGS and had to throw it out and THAT freaked me out so bad I waited another five years and one severe OCD diagnosis to try again.

Turtles All The Way Down feels exactly like what it's like to be inside the mind of someone with OCD. John Green discussed* his own experiencing with OCD in a vlogbrothers video a few months prior to release saying, "it seems to me that the stuff happening way down inside of us is difficult to talk about, partly because those experiences aren't really accessible by the senses.  You can't usually see or hear psychic pain and it's difficult to describe without simile or metaphor..."

I can't be anyone but someone with OCD reading this book, already armed with knowledge of the psychic pain, but reading it feels like you are inside Aza's anxiety wracked terrified mind from start to finish.

Oh, here's the Goodreads summary:

Aza Holmes never intended to pursue the disappearance of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Pickett’s son Davis. Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts.

WEIRDLY I am not going to talk about this whole mystery thing more than to acknowledge that it's part of the plot and I don't know why? It's such a strange plot that doesn't feel fully realized. I couldn't help but read it in terms of how it highlighted Aza's OCD (contact with things that scare her like a germy river, struggling to connect to others) more than the plot itself. Which I can excuse, I always feel internal conflicts are more interesting than external ones but in this case internal is SO MUCH bigger and more compelling, having an elaborate and strange mystery surrounding it just felt odd. The campy nature of the mystery in conflict with the gritty realism of mental illness felt unbalanced, like you couldn't process both at the same time.

It is a testament to how compelling Aza's struggle with OCD is that I'm still giving it 4.25 stars. I would recommend this book for anyone with a friend or family member who is struggling with OCD and want to understand more completely what is happening. Green doesn't shy away from the gross and scary and honestly OCD can get really gross and scary. It's awesome to read it done so well.

Possibly the best thing about this book is Aza's relationship with her best friend Daisy. Daisy is a highly successful Star Wars fanfic writer (fanfic portrayed right by the way!) who works so freaking hard--she works at a Chuckie Cheese type restaurant and does all her schoolwork on her phone, working hard to get to college and willing to go to great lengths for her friends and her personal goals. She's awesome, and I would pay any amount of money for to read Daisy Ramirez spin off.

While I could have done without the PLOT of it all, I can always do without the plot of it all. It's possible that having such a sticky strange plot to occasionally cling to balanced things out. Without something happening outside of Aza this book could have been one big long thought spiral.

I do recommend my fellow people with OCD be thoughtful about reading it (I recommend that of anyone reading a book that they will read in some way as being about them). There's a reason I ripcord ejected from it at the height of my illness. But reading it from a balanced (if not cured) place? It's just EXCELLENT

Date Published: October 17, 2017

Date Read: May 17, 2023

Rating: 4.25/5 tuataras

*possibly for the first time publicly, but I no longer have an encyclopedic memory of vlogbrothers videos

[courtana]

Those are fair points, and it is reminiscent of the hoops that people have to go through proving themselves applicable for aid. Though some of it is still weird to me from a decision standpoint - knowing what the vetting guidelines are can only increase trust when they are difficult, or ideally impossible, for scammers to replicate - speaking Palestinian dialect arabic or having proper records. I still think the UNRWA is the ideal choice for giving aid out to people trapped in this. The benefit of a dedicated team whose sole work is providing aid through the difficulties of the system.

As I stated, there is not enough aid and supplies entering Gaza for us to put all of our faith and all of our organizing solely on UNRWA. UNRWA was de-funded recently by various of their partners, and they are a target for the IOF in their bombings and killings. UNRWA themselves have stated this in their public communications. These are recent images of what their Gaza City offices looks like:

Furthermore, they've stated that they are not able to meet all the demands for basic necessities among displaced Palestinians in Gaza:

Most importantly, you totally seem to misunderstand the goals of these GoFundMe campaigns versus the goals of UNRWA.

UNRWA was the backbone for Gaza's social services & healthcare prior to the acceleration of Israel's genocide in the region in Oct 2023. It operated as a "substitute" for the state, providing education, food aid, health care and relief services. In short, the purpose of UNRWA in the new & different context of the genocide is to relieve the suffering of Palestinians by providing them basic goods and some protection (if possible) from Israeli aggression. However, UNRWA themselves have been attacked and killed by the IOF, they do not have enough basic goods to circulate, and they do not have the resources nor capacity to treat people with severe illnesses since most medical systems have collapsed. Even if they did, there are various new epidemics gaining ground in parts of southern Gaza and just recently their solid waste management system has collapsed. UNRWA at its current state—especially with frequent evacuation orders and airstrikes—does not have the power to address that type of violence. Which is another key point: UNRWA cannot stop the snipers piercing children's heads nor can they stop the Israeli bombs raining in from the sky. Fear of death from IOF themselves—not just from illness or starvation—is one of the many common themes you can see in Palestinian testimonies.

Meanwhile, the goal of these GoFundMe campaigns is for families who have vulnerable members (e.g., sick children, people with chronic illnesses, people with mental & physical disabilities, pregnant or nursing mothers, elderly parents & grandparents) to leave Gaza. I've seen hundreds of these campaigns, read them all carefully, and have internalized many of these people's stories. They cannot live any longer in the tents that UNRWA themselves are giving them. They are trying to evacuate via the Rafah crossing to Egypt, a trek that can cost thousands upon thousands of USD dollars. It is not to buy flour or water or maybe a new tent. It's so they can rebuild their lives outside of Gaza with dignity, since conditions will only grow harsher and the war is not slowing down; it is only getting worse. Knowing this, people across the world (including on tumblr), in solidarity with Palestinians, are donating to their evacuation funds. Note that UNRWA is not evacuating people, nor are they funding their evacuations. They are only trying their best to relieve suffering at the most basic level in Gaza with some basic goods and some bare-bones education programs in the midst of a genocide. But they cannot do much more than that.

If you really are so concerned about scammers taking advantage of tumblr users' sense of humanitarianism, there are ways to prudently parse through accounts to see if they're legitimate or not. One way is to look at whether it's verified by 90-ghost, el-shab-hussein, nabulsi, etc. Another way is to look up the tips by actual dedicated scam-busters on tumblr, like: @anonthescambuster, @kyra45, and @azalea-alter, among others. Note how they can spot scammers without being an asshole harassing Palestinians.

I'll leave some of their tips here:

And lastly, subjectnamemissing, if you're not sure if they're a scammer or not, stop start spreading disbelief and suspicion publicly on a Palestinians' text posts in the name of trying to be some tumblr vigilante. This can actually slow down their donations and have people take back their donations, as it happened recently to Shahed and Shaima and Muhammad's campaigns. You'll notice the person @/javert that was also chiming in on Heba's post with you has a notorious track record of just smearing Palestinians' campaigns:

[giritina]

When I lived in San Francisco, I saw a lot of people's reactions to the homeless. Even leftists would often be terrified of them. Most of the time they had a sympathetic reason. I knew many women who had been yelled at or even chased, and their relatives and friends further fed into the fear by trading vague warnings about areas with lots of homeless people being dangerous. What worried me was how these conversations often ended up devaluing the lives of those homeless people over the perceived potential victims. There was not a conversation about what fears and reactions were irrational or unfair.

As someone with psychosis I realized most people do not even have the first brick to build an understanding of psychosis. I learned this through how they viewed the homeless. A stranger, even one who was clearly suffering, who yelled at or even just spoke to you was considered a real threat to your safety. People who were especially willing to call the cops or avoid even setting foot near the homeless showed a similar discomfort when they found out I was mentally ill.

If you haven't had psychosis, I will try to describe the terror of it a little bit. It is like running from something trying desperately not to die, but everything around you is so horrific you wish you were brave enough to just give up. Everyone is scary but you are also more evil than them. Nothing is safe. Even the things that feel safe inside the delusion can really be killing you in the real world. You are tunneling inside your own brain endlessly, every moment you are about to die and also trapped in an unmoving millisecond of immortality.

I think it is very difficult to be on the street and not deal with some amount of psychosis. Not because it is the only reason people end up homeless, but because you are so profoundly isolated from the entire world. You are constantly beaten by the elements. By your body. By every conceivable thing. And just trying to keep living involves being constantly and ignored even in the most visible of places. In San Francisco most homeless people probably get ignored by thousands of people a day. Imagine existing in a world where the common wisdom is for people to put their heads down and not make eye contact with you, not speak to you, not acknowledge you in ANY way except to make the moves necessary to avoid touching you. You have now been cut off from the world of the everyday and only seem to be able to get the attention of other people who are cut off. Now on top of your poverty, health problems, addiction, trauma, racism & other isms, you are developing a consuming madness from the isolation.

I would also scream. I would also try desperately to get the attention of someone, anyone, in any way. I have known what it's like to feel like the only way to exist is to do something so insane people can't ignore you. I can't even imagine how hard it is to feel like that and also have nothing at all to support you. I can't imagine going through that and also being treated like you are genuinely invisible by hundreds of people.

I don't have a concrete solution for you except maybe to keep fighting for free ethical housing and every other human right. But I think you should consider that most people are not a threat to you and there isn't an easy way to figure out who is. People who are sane will hurt you and people who scream on the streets will not, and vice versa. But I have been hurt by many more privileged and together people. I kind of just ask that people who can't sleep because someone outside is screaming and crying out of obvious terror consider that they are inside on a bed and only inconvenienced, and the other party is trying to express they are in a living hell. And also maybe to say hello or spare a dollar for people so they can know you see them.

[thejoysofdessert]

Autism, a history (mine)

I had multiple neuropsychology evaluations growing up. The second grade one told me there was no sign of autism and the other two didn't even mention it. I talked to the neuropsych testers and therefore couldn't be autistic.

I was an "unruly child" at home but perfect in school. Because I was unruly I was taken to a psychiatrist and given high for an adult doses of mood stabilizers to get to me sit down and shut up. I was unruly (read "manic" by my psychiatrist) because when I was stopped from doing favored activities I would rage and flip from happy bubbly kid to force of pure anger in an instant and as soon as I was given space to calm down or given transition time I was right back to happy and bubbly. As such I spent my entire childhood on lithium, Wellbutrin, and carbatrol and labeled bipolar.

After graduating high school and becoming an adult every adult I met who knew what autism was asked me if I was autistic at some point in my knowing them. Being autistic but undiagnosed, I said no.

When I was 23 I went to my therapist and said I think I'm autistic. He laughed uproariously in my face and said with the utmost paternalism "you're not autistic. Why do you think that?" And I went back in the closet once more.

Cut almost ten years and hundreds of "are you autistic?"s later, I realized I may be autistic. I asked my therapist of several years what they thought and they reminded me of my first visit when they asked "have you ever been diagnosed with autism?"

I paid almost three thousand dollars through the nose for a neuropsychologist to say I was very obviously autistic at our first meeting, before any psychometrics were given, and that she would be glad to do the testing to give due diligence. Funny that...

She told me I am autistic and have ADHD (among other things). No kidding. I was shocked! /s

I truly wonder what my life could have been like with early intervention, were it not for both of my parents likely being autistic and otherwise mentally ill themselves.

[death-munchkin]

Everyone should remember the story of the Radium Girls.

Haven't heard of it? Let me give you the short version. Early 1900s Radium has been discovered and the dangers of radioactivity was rapidly being discovered and understood as well. A handful of greedy men realize they can make radioactive paint that glows in the dark, and use it for (among other things) painting clock faces to make glow in the dark clocks. So, they start up 3 factories where radium gets ground into a powder and mixed into a paint solution called "undark". This process is done by men wearing thick lead lined aprons and gloves, not even allowed to touch the radium with their hands and instead instructed to handle it with tongs.

The paint then gets handed over to hundreds, thousands of women and girls, who are only told that they are hired to paint the clock faces on clocks and watches. These innocent, unsuspecting, uninformed women and girls as young as fifteen are instructed to paint with "undark". First, they are instructed to dip a fine tipped paint bush in water. Then, they are instructed to form the tip into a fine point with their lips, putting the still paint stained brush directly in their mouth. Then they are instructed to dip the brush in the paint, and paint a stroke. And then repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Hundreds of strokes a day. Thousands of strokes a week. Each time consuming a little bit more. And a little bit more.

Some time into production, they even take away the water, as to not "waste" any of the paint, because why not shave a few cents off production?

Some of the women worked there for mere days. Others months. Some for years.

All the while the company was fully aware of the theoretical risk posed to the women. All the while they never told them.

Eventually, when the women started getting sick and dying off one by one, the company blamed it on STIs, which I assume most of you are aware what stigma that implies.

And even when five brave women came together to sue their employer, now that they were ill and dying, the company tried to avoid responsibility by delaying the process month by month, year by year, hoping that the women would die before they could sue.

And finally, finally, when the women decided to settle out of court to see even a pittance of reimbursement before they inevitably die, the company blamed it on its (not direct quote) "Over abundance of kindness", saying it hired people who are "poor, sickly and (c-slur)" and that it's now that "kindness" coming back to bite it. This happened in the USA, less than 100 years ago.

This is why we should remember the radium girls. Not only because of how they were treated. Not only because of how they were killed for money and power. Not only because how their names were smeared even as they were suffering horrible ailments and death due to malpractice. But also because around the world similar things are happening every single day. Yes, in your country too. Everywhere there is a rich person, there is someone they're willing to destroy to stay that way and gain even more power.

The rich do not care about you. They do not care about your children. About your life, about your health. They only care about what you can give them with your blood and sweat and tears. They will put chemicals in your system which burns holes in your bones and eats away at your muscles if it saved them a penny on the dollar.

But please, continue to tell me how more money for Elon Musk means a better future for me.

[lenbryant]

(Long Post, Sorry) Hitting Theater Hard: The Loss of Subscribers Who Went to Everything

The subscription model, in which theatergoers buy a season’s worth of shows at a time, had long been waning, but it fell off a cliff during the pandemic.

As a group of stagehands assembled train cars for the set of “Murder on the Orient Express,” Ken Martin looked grimly at his email. His first year as artistic director at the Clarence Brown Theater in Knoxville, Tenn., was coming to an end, and the theater had missed its income goals by several hundred thousand dollars, largely because it had lost about half its subscribers since the start of the pandemic.

“I’ve already had to tear up one show, because of a combination of cost and I don’t think it’s going to sell,” he said. “I’m in the same boat as a lot of theater companies: How do I get the audience back, and once I get them in the door, how do I keep them for the next show?”

The nonprofit theater world’s industrywide crisis, which has led to closings, layoffs and a reduction in the number of shows being staged, is being exacerbated by a steep drop in the number of people who buy theater subscriptions, in which they pay upfront to see most or all of a season’s shows. The once-lucrative subscription model had been waning for years, but it has fallen off a cliff since the pandemic struck.

It is happening across the nation. Seattle’s 5th Avenue Theater had 13,566 subscribers last season, down from 19,770 before the pandemic. In Atlanta, the Alliance Theater ended last season with 3,208, down from a prepandemic 5,086, while Northlight Theater, in Skokie, Ill., is at about 3,200, down from 5,700.

Theaters are losing people like Joanne Guerriero, 61, who dropped her subscription to Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn, N.J., after realizing she only liked some of the productions there, and would rather be more selective about when and where she saw shows.

“We haven’t missed it,” she said, “which is unfortunate, I suppose, for them.”

Many artistic leaders believe the change is permanent.

“The strategic conversation is no longer ‘What version of a membership brochure is going to bring in more members,’ but how do we replace that revenue, and replenish the relationship with audiences,” said Jeremy Blocker, the executive director of New York Theater Workshop, an Off Broadway nonprofit that has seen its average number of members (its term for subscribers) drop by 50 percent since before the pandemic.

Why do subscribers matter?

“No. 1, it reduces your cost of marketing hugely — you’re selling three or five tickets for the cost of one,” said Michael M. Kaiser, the chairman of the DeVos Institute of Arts Management at the University of Maryland. “No. 2, you get the cash up front, which helps fund the rehearsal period and the producing period. And No. 3, subscriptions give you artistic flexibility — if people are willing to buy all the shows, some subset of the total can be less familiar and more challenging, but if you don’t have subscribers, every production is sold on its own merits, and that makes taking artistic risk much more difficult.”

There’s also a strong connection between subscriptions and contributions. “Most donors are subscribers,” said Maggie Mancinelli-Cahill, the producing artistic director of Capital Repertory Theater in Albany, N.Y., “so there’s a cycle here.”

Theaters are simultaneously trying to retain — or reclaim — subscribers, and also reduce their dependence on them. Many are experimenting with ways to make subscriptions more flexible, or more attractive, but also seeing an upside in the need to find new patrons.

Programming is clearly on the mind of lapsed subscribers around the country. Even as subscriptions have fallen sharply at regional nonprofits whose mission is to develop new voices and present noncommercial work, they have remained steadier at venues that present touring Broadway shows with highly recognizable titles.

“There’s so much going on with the ‘ought-to-see-this-because-you’re-going-to-be-taught-a-lesson’ stuff, and I’m OK with that, but part of me thinks we’re going a little overboard, and I need to have some fun,” said Melissa Ortuno, 61, of Queens. She describes herself as a frequent theatergoer — she has already seen 17 shows this year — but finds herself now preferring to purchase tickets for individual shows, rather than subscriptions. “I want to take a shot, but I don’t want to be dictated to. And this way I can buy what I want.”

But there are other reasons subscribers have stepped away, including age. “We’re all old, that’s the problem,” said Happy Shipley, 77, of Erwinna, Pa., who decided to renew her subscription at the Bucks County Playhouse, but sees others making a different choice. “Many of them don’t stay up late anymore; they’re anxious about parking, walking, crime, public transportation, increased need of restrooms, you name it.”

Arts administrators say that many people who were previously frequent theatergoers remain fans of the art form, but now attend less frequently, a phenomenon confirmed in interviews with supersubscribers — culture vultures who had multiple subscriptions — who say they are scaling back.

Lisa-Karyn Davidoff, 63, of Manhattan, subscribed to 10 theaters before the pandemic; now she is far more choosy, citing a combination of health concerns and reassessed priorities. “If there’s a great cast or something I can’t miss,” she said, “I will go.” Rena Tobey, a 64-year-old New Yorker, had at least 12 theater subscriptions before the pandemic, and now has none, citing an ongoing concern about catching Covid in crowds, a new appreciation for television and streaming, and a sense that theaters are programming shows for people other than her. “For many years, I’ve pushed my boundaries, and I’m just at a point where I don’t want to do it anymore.”

And Jeanne Ryan Wolfson, a 67-year-old from Rockville, Md., who had four performing arts subscriptions prepandemic, is just finding she likes an à la carte approach to ticket purchasing; she kept two of her previous subscriptions, dropped two, and added a new one. “I was paying a lot of money for the subscriptions, and some of the productions within those packages were a bit disappointing or might not have the wow factor I was looking for,” she said. “I think what I want to do is pick and choose.”

Martin said the Knoxville theater’s staff has spent much of the summer discussing the drop in subscriber numbers — the theater had about 3,000 before the pandemic, but 1,500 last season — and hired a marketing firm to study the situation.

Then comes “Kinky Boots,” the kind of uplifting musical comedy many of today’s audiences seem to want. (“Kinky Boots,” with a plot that involves drag queens, also makes a statement for a theater in Tennessee, where lawmakers have attempted to restrict drag shows.) There will be more adventurous productions, but in a smaller theater: “The Moors” by Jen Silverman, and “Anon(ymous)” by Naomi Iizuka.

But selling tickets show by show, instead of as a package, is challenging and expensive.

“It takes three times as much money, time and effort to bring in someone new,” said Tom Cervone, the theater’s managing director. He said the theater is trying everything it can — print advertising, public radio sponsorships, social media posts, plus appearances at local street fairs and festivals where the theater’s staff will hand out brochures and swag (branded train whistles to promote “Murder on the Orient Express,” for example) while trying to persuade passers-by to come see a show.

The theater, which is on the flagship campus of the University of Tennessee, is less dependent than some on ticket revenue, because, like a number of other regional nonprofits, it is affiliated with a university that subsidizes its operations. Still, the money it earns from ticket sales is essential to balancing the budget.

“It’s been scary some days,” Cervone said, “like, where is everybody?”

Michael Paulson is the theater reporter. He previously covered religion, and was part of the Boston Globe team whose coverage of clergy sexual abuse in the Catholic Church won the Pulitzer Prize for Public Service. More about Michael Paulson

[chainsawmascara]

Hhhhh

Deeply concerned by the current fibro flareup.

Please remain a flareup.

If this turns into an episode, everything I've worked desperately to claw myself out of hell for the past six months will be rendered moot.

And oh, oh, how i have clawed my way out of hell. Out of 30 years of abuse, two cults, a nightmare of a partner (several - we're focusing on the most recent) leeching everything good in my life until i lived with fucking rats after running club nights in the city with hundred dollar bills jostling in my bag like a normal tuesday, out of the sex work i never wanted to do, out of misery i believed endless, out of grief all consuming from losing a child, i have walked through the fires of hell and I've SURVIVED.

I cannot afford an episode. I cannot afford to lose the positions i hold. Especially being burnt out on a business i ran myself into the ground running for at least 14 years (traveling as a merchant was wonderful - work in malls, work in stores across the country, music festivals, art festivals, fundraisers), with that on pause the physical job is my main hustle. Cyberbullying men out of their money (consensually) and into vacations is a sprinkle atop the cake for fun and profit.

I cannot afford to lose. I cannot afford to fail. I cannot afford to be trapped in a bed. I have a child, he must thrive, i will give him everything, i am his mother, i have to be his father for his father is. Oh. Oh, that creature. One who has a new reason for taking estrogen every week, not a single reason boiling to "I'm trans" with the weakest justifications I've ever heard - "i wanted to wear skirts in high school so uh. I didn't like playing basketball." Fuck OFF. It's easier to be a begger when you can hide behind labels that shuffle you into minority boxes, and we all know. That. That infuriates me nearly as much as the utter horrors i suffered for five years under them. I will not expand upon it. I wish not to think of most of it. I fucking survived it.

They continue attempts to drain me monetarily, to force me into the street with them as they remain strictly from actions of self admitted spite like a fool. Creating their suffering and hurling blame towards me as if I'm the monster.

I am, most certainly, not.

I cannot afford to fall into the levels of pain i held years ago. I need to lift, move, coil, jump, pull, swing, push. I need all the strength of which i was stripped for years. I cannot afford weakness. I cannot afford my illness creeping upon me. I cannot afford to slip for a moment.

This is my month off. I can be ill during January. I can be ill for the next week, maybe two. After, though. After, i must force every ounce of energy i can find into a candle burnt at both ends. I can die every january so long as I'm able to run my body into the ground the other 11 months.

I have a child and a lizard and i will break my body over and over and over for them. I cannot suffer an arm that cannot move, a back that feels so broken i cannot stand. I cannot. Let blinking hurt, let speaking and eating be like gargling glass as always, let every step feel like a thousand knives, but let me do it. Let me do it. I have no choice. Let me do it.

[roseband]

not helping my fiance tutor his brother cause he won't listen to "a woman"

also.......said a horrid "how are you okay with her making more money than you"

shut up mr. 700 SAT scores (fucking 3rd percentile...literally pathetic), 2.8gpa, no extracurriculars, failure boy. Pathetic...... I was 3.8 gpa, 99th percentile SAT scores, multiple extracurriculars including 6 days a week band and two arts clubs including running one, shut up FAILURE BOY. The only thing you have is sexism cause you're a failure same as your whore mother. Only FAILURES are sexist like this and both of you are failures.

wanna leave the man who came out of a family of sexist good for nothing freaks, don't want them any where near me....i don't want them in our apartment, if they're going to pull "tradition" while in MY HOME im not paying any bills. you want to allow your good for nothing "traditional" family to talk down to me, then be a traditional provider and ill pocket all my income. i make more money than ANY of these useless people. im the highest earner. get them under control or i do not pay any bills. My moms higher earner than them too before she was retired, and on early retirement her yearly income of stock gains and her pension is nearly as high as mine.......They're FAILURES. They only care about money and cock, but they sure ain't good at getting the money. If you only care about money and penis, but you can't get money, then you're a dick lmfao.

don't want to hear my fiance screaming at his whore mother that we're not buying an apartment to put my share in her name "cause she's mother of son" waaah the good whore fucked right. dumb teenagers have kids too, you're not special, prostitute. that's yet again the slut planning on stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from me. and her son having to call her the slut she is on the phone cause she wants to steal hundreds of thousands of dollars from his partner. she wanted me to pay for down-payment and into mortgage but her name on it instead of mine, uh NO ONE WILL DO THAT SLUT. That's when he told the slut I make more than him, because we can buy an apartment together, not him, us...and if I was alone, I can buy myself a studio right now. So I don't need him and he was trying to get the slut to understand I can leave.........so it turned into "woman shouldn't make more than you cuz woman" and his dumbass brother is parroting it when he can't even get a fucking average sat score.

don't want to have a security guard at our wedding cause "mother of son" wants to wait outside the venue to steal cash gifts....he hired the security guard cause he knows he came out a useless greedy whore. Why does my fiance have to hire a fucking security guard cause his freak mother is a thief. If she does anything I'm pressing charges, no escorting out, jail for whore. Whores deserve jail.

don't want to hear him having to tell the slut that she can't have my salary. Where'd whore come up with that, only whores get paid for fucking. But "she had a son"

And I won't have a WHORE who beats her children tell me to hand her a baby ever again, sluts don't deserve grandchildren.

and now i don't want a good for nothing, barely getting into community college, failure 17 year old, telling me to QUIT MY JOB as a woman

im done with these good for nothing useless people. he's having his dad change how that property that his mom wanted to use against him is legally set up, and the second everything is finalized (paperwork is already signed because his dad is greedy but not a complete psycho), im threatening the blackmail of all the illegal bullshit they do.....im going to blackmail them into stopping or im leaving him.

i don't care if it affects his spineless dad, get your useless housewife whore wife and stupid child you neglected for close to two decades under control. You're the MAN get your pet hooker under control or I will make your life hell. Get them under control or I give michael and ultimatum of me or them........

I will not tutor a dumb boy who's shit talking me (especially not when I literally work for his favorite brand and he doesn't believe it cause vag)

I'm not hearing these fights about me anymore, I'm not going to sit for these fights about me from a slut and her fail son who's fallen into the tate hole.

I'm not taking it???????? Get them under control or they don't come to our apartment.

[roobylavender]

Sometimes I feel like the older I get the more I hate social media and truly feel bad for the generation of kids who have to grow up with it especially without any direction from the adults in their life because social media is still new to them as well. Like kids from the age of 15-21 because truly I feel like adulthood and the dumb mistakes have the most around this age and it isn’t until you are like 24/25 where things feel like they start to work themselves out.

Also I would never ever want to be famous. Like imagine everything you do being there for the world to see. If you have a mental illness it plays itself out on a large scale. Can’t even imagine people who have major anxiety and that much attention on them for everything thing they do.

And it’s funny because I feel like you don’t realize how old someone is until you past a certain age. Like to me 21 is still a kid like it is also the age where most mental illnesses like bipolar etc start to present themselves and like by then parents can’t help because under the law they are adults.

Sorry I know this is random but your soccer post just made me think of how we treat people who have eyes on them and etc.

yeah for sure. and since you bring up football what i will mention is i find it curious how we've started to have conversations about the harms of child labor in the film/tv industry but do not apply the same rhetoric to athletes. i really don't think there is anything useful in nurturing athletes to debut at a senior level on a renowned stage so early bc there are simultaneously two things that happen when they have access to that kind of stardom. it makes them into easy prey for people who want to manipulate that stardom, and it completely warps these kids' sense of wealth and maturity and boundaries. they don't live a real life. they don't grow up in an environment where they're allowed to make mistakes and actually learn from them bc on one hand their audience of thousands or millions would never dare to give them the space to learn and on the other hand their amount of wealth inevitably makes them immune to wanting to learn. like when you're more or less insured bc of the fact that it took your club or team or whatever to buy you for several hundred million dollars, they will do whatever it takes to protect you bc you're an investment. so you're subsequently robbed of actually learning to live like everyone else bc the scales of accountability and failure are completely skewed for you. and it makes me deeply sad bc like, why! there is no need to start a career so early into your life. obv sports are something you commit extensive time and practice to and that's understandable but i do think young athletes being thrown into these senior level teams on the world stage is something that should be cut back on. i think i remember seeing a chart recently of the number of top five league games some retired players in jude bellingham's position had played by the time they were his age and the difference is simply astronomical. not only are we committed to a culture that sets up these young people to have warped psyches, we're also destroying their body early on while they're at it. it's just so deeply sad and at some point all i can feel is pity for the people who are a part of it. the cost of living that kind of life is enormous and most people simply don't recover or ever regain the self awareness they were robbed of as young adults

[homesbymiriam]

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[song-tam]

i made several notes during this time, enjoy:

[when neil goes into the bathroom pukes about signing onto the team and apologizes to his dead mom] "oh. fuck me i am emotionally attached now ig"

[on description of neil's last moments w his mom] "OH. OKAY" (pikachu face at the angst)

[kevin freaks out & andrew talks him down the first time] "INCH RESTING" (what the fuck what the fuck what the fu)

[the??????? taking out contacts scene??????] "ah i am sensing a hint of romantic tension"

"me when some dude who is in his fifties calls me a fucking idiot and tells me to call people next time and stop trying to do everything alone even though it is a knee jerk instinct. also what the fuck (in tears)"

[upon neil speaking in german to andrew for the first time] "LMAO" [upon The Conversation and the "Whatever this look was, it was dark and intense enough to swallow Neil whole."] "LMAO WHAT THE FUCK"

no notes but highlighted these two lines wordlessly: "Are you stupid?" Seth asked. / "Yeah," Neil said.

[on random moment where aaron and nicky are fighting or something and then they all go dude shut the fuck up and then seth just, CALLS NICKY A FAGGOT AND LEAVES?] "i am fucjing crying"

[THE FUCKING?????????????? CLOCKING BETSY AS OCD HCJWHCJFHFJDHKFNDNDJFLSHCMWNFKBXMAJDKAJFBSKJDKSJFJ??????????????] i dont have any commentary this is what i did though i laughed so hard i knocked my yarn off my bed

"ok what the hell kind of a loser team is this why are they not playing on CRAPPY TARMAC why the fuck do they have a HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR COURT"

my guy slighting renee like ten times "oooh the cross necklace and smiles ooh she must be innocent and not know what gang violence is or have any otherwise tragic backstory whatsoever because she is christian and has a positive disposition" staring directly at my entire family

im gonna go through and repsond to these in order hold on

OKAY YEAH emotional attachment to neil josten is unavoidable. theres just something about him. like you cant not be obsessed w this man its impossible

REAL AND TRUE oh god theyre sooooooo complicated i love

kevin and andrew. have real tension going on ill be real. like whats happening there??? insane

romantic tension. does it ever go past that. well youll see wont you

OH MY GOD THAT SCENE!!!!!!!!! wymack is SUCH a dad and i am sososoososo obsessed with him hes their coach hes their father figure he gives a shit abt them im soo not normal

god yeah no theyre so. like whats happening there miss nora. what were you thinking. why is he a wattpad bad boy

seth and neil. theyre. interesting

SETH BEING A HOMOPHOBE WAS THE MOST IRRELEVANT SHIT EVER LIKE WHY WAS THAT EVEN NECESSARY ITS BARELY ADDRESSED i cant

BETSY !!!!!!!!!! but yeah the whole neil & betsy dynamic is an intersting one i wish i could say it gets better and it. slightly does but only slightly

did i mention i love tfc. anyway

NO LEGIT like renee is so terrifying shes like a silent killer i would not trust her at all in a game of mafia also i think the foxes should play mafia together that would be fun

ANYWAY!!!! glad youre enjoying the next two are even more of a doozy so thatll be fun <3

[freewayinsurance]

4 Reasons Why Pet Insurance Is Helpful

Whether you’re single or the head of a household, health insurance is one of the most important factors in keeping your family healthy and financially stable. In fact, it’s one of the top benefits most employees look for when accepting a new job.

Unfortunately, most companies do not provide a policy that covers all your family members. Sure, an insurer will provide you with options for an individual plan, one that covers you and your spouse, and a family plan. However, that family plan often leaves out one loving, caring, and devoted member — your pet.

As a dog lover or cat person, you might want to consider finding an insurance company with a policy to cover your BFF (Best Fur Friend). Here are five reasons why pet insurance is helpful, starting with love.

1. Your Pet Loves You Unconditionally

If you’ve ever had a dog greet you with its tail wagging, tongue hanging, and wildly jumping on you when you come home from work at night, you know that your pup loves you unconditionally. What happens if that four-legged embodiment of pure joy falls ill or suffers a traumatic injury? The veterinarian may be able to help, but that medical care may also run up a bill of several thousand dollars.

It’s one thing if your dog is already 14 years old, slowing down, and not expected to live much longer. It’s an entirely different scenario if your new puppy is sick or injured at just 5 years old or even younger.

You want what’s best for your furry family member, regardless of age. When they have a lot of life to live and love to give, however, we can’t imagine denying them the medicine, procedure, or surgery that will get them back to good health. That’s when having the right pet insurance can be incredibly helpful in reciprocating the unconditional love your animal provides you every day and night.

2. The Cost of Veterinary Care is Rising

The annual costs of owning a cat or dog cannot be overlooked. Most people who have a pet can expect to pay hundreds of dollars for an initial exam and the necessary inoculations in their fur friend’s first year alone. Routine visits and follow-up shots thereafter can continue to add to the cost of maintaining your pet’s good health. Now for the bad news … these basic costs of veterinary care are rising.

The increasing cost of healthcare for your domesticated animal is a good reason to get it insured and protected. Most plans will cooperate by covering at least a portion of that first well-being checkup, shots, and follow-up care, which can be of great assistance.

3. There are Options for Different Coverage

There are various options for coverage for your pet. For example, your perfectly healthy kitten may not need as much coverage as your 12-year-old golden retriever with a penchant for eating shoes, woodwork, and any food that drops from a kitchen table (some of which could be poisonous to a dog).

Luckily, you can find options for pet insurance coverage with all levels of pricing from most providers. Shop around, make phone calls, and ask specific questions about what the best coverage might be for your situation. You can acquire a cheaper policy for less money or buy more extensive coverage for a higher cost.  

Finding the option that strikes the balance between peace of mind and cost helps take the weight off your shoulders and frees you up to enjoy your life with your pet.

4. A Pet Insurance Policy is as an Installment Plan

Pet insurance can be useful when we think of them as installment plans for paying for costly procedures. Some complex surgeries, like repairing a cruciate ligament injury for a dog, can be several thousand dollars. Most people don’t have the money to pay for this all at once, but if your pet is insured, you will usually pay the deductible and get reimbursed for up to 90 percent of the cost of the repair, depending on your specific policy.

Understandably, many folks find $50 per month for a good plan to be much more helpful than $10,000 all at once.

Find an Affordable Pet Insurance Policy Online Today

Now you know some of the reasons why affordable pet insurance is a good idea for your family’s furry member. Get a quick online quote for pet insurance, reach out to Freeway by phone at (800) 777-5620 or stop in one of our convenient locations today.