#im not even at home and i cant stop drawing fuck

[sillygh0st]

// wip

This is going to take so long oh god

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[weenhands]

im more aware about my behaviors/pattern of behaviors and i have clarity and understanding about them after realizing i was autistic but the trauma from middle school really makes me wish i took that awareness and hid every single special interest of mine

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

[sleepysnoots]

Hi! I saw your requests were open for ramshackle, so if that’s ok with you can i ask for a stone x male/gn!reader where the reader has a black cat (let’s call it maxie)? like how would he act towards it, i imagine he’d be wary at first but eventually warm up to it

anyways, thanks for listening, sorry if there’s any mistakes, english isn’t my first language :D

Ahh omg i love this idea!!! im sorry if this is ooc but i tried my best :D i just reread ur request and this isnt exactly what u were asking for but ih well hope u like it 😭

-————————————————————————

“Stoneeeee”

You hum as you come next to him a huge grin on your face, your arms behind your back like your hiding something

He looks at you with a nonchalant expression as he raises a brow at your excitement

“Yes ?”

Stone says glancing at you for a second, before taking another drag of his cigarette

“Look at what i found!”

You gleam as you pull out the black scruffy cat you found on the streets, holding it up so stone can look at it

Stones eyes widen as his eyes shift to you then the cat giving a concerned look

“What the fuck?”

He said looking at your happy expression as you hold the scruffy thing

“His name is Maxie! I found him in the trash, he kinda reminded me of you”

You giggle as stone looks at the cat with mixed feelings about it

“We cant keep it, we cant even feed ourselves let alone an animal! Also that thing definitely has rabies”

Stone muttered flicking the end of the cigarette as he glanced at you

Your expression drops as you bring the cat to your chest the cat curling up in your arms

“Well.. vinnie has rabies and we kept her!”

You say back seeming almost upset at stone for saying that

Stone sighs before chuckling

“To be fair but still look at it-“

“Him. Maxie is a boy”

You correct as stone rolls his eyes

“Whatever”

Stone mutters before you hum softly

“Stone look i think youd really like him!”

You chuckle as stone looks at u with an unsure expression

“Never really been a cat person”

He mutters looking at Maxie watching the cat cuddle up to your chest as you scratch the back of his ear watching him begin to purr

Stones eyes soften as he looks at Maxie before shaking his head

“Fine we can keep him…. but ur feeding him yourself!”

Stone mutters annoyed before smiling at your happy reaction

“OMG REALLY THANK YOU STONE!”

You jump up happily smiling at stone he rolls his eyes at you before smiling softly to himself

-————————————————————————

Stones sat in the alleyway outside their little home, looking up into the night sky as a takes out a 6-pack of cigarettes, bringing one to his lips and lighting it as he enjoys his alone time.

Suddenly he hears a small meow from his side he looks down questioningly before noticing its Maxie

Stone stares at maxie with a cold look before maxie comes up to him brushing his body against stone whilst he purrs causing stones eyes to widen as he smiles softly deciding to give the little guy some attention

Bringing his free hand down to pet Maxie’s head and scratch just behind his ear feeling his surprisingly soft fur on his fingertips

Maxies soft hums dont stop as he jumps onto stones lap stretching before curling up onto his lap and falling asleep there

Stones pupils widen as he looks down at maxie curled up in his lap as he just gazes at him in awe

Stone stays incredibly still as hes just sat there on a crate the yellow streetlamp emitting faded light on him as he finishes his cigarette with the small kitten cuddled up on him and a small smile plastered on his lips.

-————————————————————————

I might have to draw that cause i think itd just be such a wholesome image 😭😭😭

Anyways i really hope u guys liked this

[mylarena]

i dont see enough soulmate aus so. inspired by this post by @hyperfixationwizard, soulmate au where drawings and ink on skin show up on ur soulmates skin (not scars bc there would be so fucking much going on with that and im not gonna write abt itdgthfgh)

anyways. soap has always love doodling- with anything. pencil, pen, crayon, marker, whatever he could get his hands on. he’d doodle on anything and everything. the walls (when he was a kid, mainly), paper, cardboard, desks in school, napkins... but by far, his favorite was to draw on his own skin. the thought of his work showing up on someone else, someone he was practically made for and they for him- something that they could share, something that they could keep secret and hold close to their chests- it was enough to make him giddy.

so, he doodled. a pretty flower he saw on his walk to school, curling around his wrist. a bird perched on the bench across from him at the park, taking flight on the back of his hand. the stray cat that hung out on his porch, draped across his thigh. sometimes if he didnt have a notebook with him, messy schematics and notes for devices- no, ma, thats not an explosive, he swears- scrawled on his forearm.

he never sees anything from his soulmate- he checks every single day for any new marks, any words, but he never finds any. still, he keeps drawing. it doesnt usually get to him, the fact that his soulmate doesnt give him responses, but sometimes he cant help but think too much. he wonders if his soulmate likes the drawings, which leads to the thought of them not liking them, or finding them annoying, or if they think theyre bad.

one day, he caves under his thoughts and writes his first question to his soulmate, right under a bundle of primroses- “do you want me to stop?”

he waits anxiously for hours, not knowing if he’ll be able to feel the reply, or if he has to look for it, or if there even will be one-

then he feels it- a sort of pins-and-needles sensation on his left arm. he frantically rolls up his sleeve and his eyes are immediately drawn to the letters that appear on his skin. once the writing stops, he stares with wide eyes at the single word left behind- shaky, smudged, and a bit runny in some spots-

“no.”

and so he doesnt stop.

he keeps drawing, slowly moving from small little doodles of primroses on his arms and songbirds on his hands to sprawling meadows that wrap around his forearms and ravens spreading their wings across his thighs. sometimes he adds words- always short encouragements, positive quotes, or funny thoughts he has. he never gets responses, but he knows that his soulmate is still around by the occasional ink smudge that appears. anytime one appears, he incorporates them into a drawing. sometimes its a silly little doodle, and other times he spends hours creating beautiful, complex landscapes centered around them.

for years, his soulmate holds their silence. soap doesnt mind. he knows that they appreciate his art and words. at least, thats the thought he holds onto. he never holds it against his soulmate- the whole not-responding thing. hes well aware that he can be a lot to handle; hes heard it constantly from the majority of the people in his life. he just hopes that maybe his soulmate can tolerate him more than most.

he was 14 when things changed.

he had gotten home from school, completely ignoring his parents in the kitchen and opting to power walk to his room. it had been a shitty day; he had overslept and missed the bus, causing him to be late to class, and then some dickwads from the year above him decided that he was a good target to snag lunch money from, (really? stealing a kids lunch money? why would they pick something so fucking cliche? god, get some fresh material,) and to top it all off he got a shit grade on his book report.

as usual, his solution to a bad mood is to draw, get his emotions out on a page instead of letting them linger in his mind. unlike usual, though, he decides to bypass his notebook and instead grabs a pen, chooses a clear spot on his arm.

it took a while, but he finally ran out of steam to continue- it had been nearly two hours since he began. he was about to walk over to his bed and flop face down into his pillow when he felt it- the pins-and-needles of words being written that he had only felt once before. his eyes zeroed in on his arm, right under the drawing he had finished.

“two goldfish are in a tank. one turns to the other and asks, ‘do you know how to drive this thing?’”

soap snorts, more due to the situation than the shitty joke itself- and rushes to grab his pen again. no chance he was letting this opportunity slip by.

“why was the strawberry crying?”

“why?”

“because he was in a jam.”

and so the night continued like that- they exchanged shitty jokes back and forth for hours that night, up until soap was called for dinner.

[cherllyio]

You’re scenarios for parent Pigsy were really fun 🤩

If you take requests could you make something similar for ShadowJadePeach (Macaque, Wukong, and Nüwa) being parents (or at least awkward step-parent in Macaque’s case) to MK (and maybe Bai He (LBD’s host)).

Please 🙏😊

I would love to! Lets go!

Macaque, Wukong, and Nuwa trying to be parents to MK( plus Bai He)

List:

Macaque and Wukong deal with all their issues, while trying to MK from going Apeshit.

Nuwa thinks she understand humans, because she made them, she doesent

"Nuwa, Wukong and Macaque babysitting Bai He and MK"

The scenarios are mostly silly little stories of them trying to be good parental figures or scenarios that could possibly happen in season 5.

Also, if anyone wanna draw or use any of the scenarios in any way, im completly happy with that! Just tag me, so i can reblog it and love it forever :)

Scenario 1: "Macaque and Wukong deal with all their issues, while trying to stop MK from going Apeshit"

This is acutally something, i think, could happen in the show.

So, Macaque and Wukong are trying to deal with all their past issues(which there is a lot of). And tts not going great though, and they end up having an argument again.

Suddenly MK steps into the room. He is really struggling with all the "mystic monkey busniess" going on in his life, so he thinks talking with the "mystic monkeys" would help.

Problem is, Wukong and Macaque are too mad eachother to do anthing to help, other than making it worse soooo. MK just leaves, now having it even worse with his "monkey fate", since earlier he had a small fight with Mei. Nothing big, but with Macaque and Wukong fighting, and them being an awfully lot like him and Mei, he is starting to get scared that they will end up like them. And that he will end up hurting Mei.

So in the middle of MK having this chrisis, a sort of Steven Universe future panic(if you know the refernce), Wukong and Macaque finally come to their senses and reailise something very important. To help MK, they have to understand what went wrong with them, so MK and Mei dont end up on the same road.

And in that way, we get the "Macaque and Wukong backstory" :D

Scenario 2: " Nuwa thinks she understand humans, because she made them, she doesent"

One day, MK goes to pick up Bai He from school(big brother and little sister vibes). Sadly it starts raining(a lot), so they cant get home. (Kinda like this scene from my neighbor Tortoro).

Nuwa sees this and picks them up, where she is then thanked and told that they quickly have to get Bai He home, before her parents get too worried.

But instead of just driving a little bit faster Nuwa goes almost full GOD MODE, and drives faster than fucking Wukong on his cloud. They almost drive several people over, several cars crash into eachother because of it, and a lot of people have gained new trauma because of it.

The kids are screaming, yet Nuwa just interepts this as to go FASTER.

They make it to Bai He's home, safe and sound, but lets just say that MK and Bai He are just gonna wait next time it rains that much.

(The reason MK didnt use his staff? He forgot)

Scenario 3: "Nuwa, Wukong and Macaque babysitting Bai He and MK"

Pigsy was supposed to take care of Bai He, because her parents were doing something that day, but something came up. And MK cant do it, because he accdently broke one of his legs, and Pigsy doesent wanna push him too much because of it.

And since neither Mei, Tang, Sandy or any resbonibly adult he knows, can help, he calls Nuwa, Wukong and Macaque.

The little trio sees this as a great possibilty to get closer to the kids, but its gets a biiiit chaotic with the following things happening:

Macaque gets a bit jelaous, and tries to train MK a bit, yet this ends in MK breaking his arm too(dont ask, neither of them dont know how it happend)

Bai He asks Nuwa if she can help her with her homework. This though ends up in Nuwa crying over Math homework.

Wukong tries to cook some food, but gets too cocky, and ends up making litteral poison, that could kill a god.

Dont worry, they order some Pizza, put on a show and they actually have quite a nice time after that.

Pigsy just finds them sleeping together on the couch, and suspects nothing. (though he was surprised the house wasnt burned down)

[cosmal]

hozier—

omg tell me what you think about hockey player!steve

omg ive done baseballplayer!steve but this is amazing shut up.

he's definitely a douche at first idc. that king!steve hockey player rep.

he's good. really good and he fucking knows it too.

he doesn't take shit from the ref. he'll yell about an unfair call or what he thinks is unfair.

he can get violent. fights about things that he usually starts. god. the bloodied noses. and when he gets pulled off some other guy, he's all smartass smiles with blood in his teeth. panting and shit ughhhhhhhh.

and then he notices you, of course, how could he not. you come to most of his games. he wants to believe you come for him.

then he finds out you're the coach's daughter.

how he's never met you before is beyond him but he really wants to. it's embarrassing really.

eventually, after a game, he runs into you leaving the coaching box.

because he's a charmer, he gets your number after a ten-minute talk he was lucky enough to get out of you.

you go on a few dates. the movies. the park. the arcade at your request. and he finds out, much to his delight or not he's not sure, that he genuinely likes you.

you're smart, way too smart for him, he thinks, funny, fucking hilarious, shy went you want to be and loud around your friends. worse than him, he thinks.

you're much more than the past girlfriends he's had.

when he finds out you've never skated before, he's amazed. being the coach's daughter.

he finds you a pair of skates straight away and takes you out on the ice.

"steve, im gonna fall on my ass."

"I won't let you. promise."

you shake like a leaf, gripping way too hard onto his hands as he guides you out onto the ice.

"alright, now stand up a bit - yeah that's it, baby. straighten your legs up."

"I can't."

"yeah, you can."

you do as he says and honestly, he's shocked you trust him this much. it hits him right in the gut.

"Im sorry, your poor hands."

"im fine, promise. had worse."

"I've seen the black eyes, steve."

"exactly."

he gets you so wound down, you don't even notice when he lets go of you.

he skates away from you, cheering.

"that's it! look at you go!"

"steve! what the fuck, come back!'

'you're doing so well, baby!"

eventually, you fall on your knees and feel like a complete fool.

he helps you up and he has it in him to feel a little bad.

"you okay? your knees okay?"

"just a little embarrassed."

"right. well, let's go get some food, yeah?"

eventually, you go to all his games just for him.

he blows you kisses before the game starts and comes up to the plexiglass after to fog it up and draw little hearts like a total cornball.

you've totally turned him into some lovely fool that puts king!steve to shame.

still, he gets into fights because he cant help himself.

he feels bad, really, awful, when he finds you on the sidelines looking a little upset.

he gets patched up by a medic and goes to find you straight away.

"your nose is bleeding."

"I'm okay."

you reach up and cup his face. "your lovely eyes, steve."

"I promise I'm okay."

"that's gonna bruise."

he lets you take him home and ice him up. he takes the scolding and the warnings because he deserves them.

"did you really need to hit him once he was down?"

"probably not."

"probably not. stop getting into fights, steve. you're gonna end up seriously hurt."

he promises to never get into another fight once he sees you crying.

he doesn't.

-

stopping the read more glitch <3

[yourtouchismidas]

im begging for literally anything written about george. i love that man so much

ok so i've just been in a hot country with my bf so lets imagine this.

george is off from tour so you both get cheap plane tickets and fly out to an island, george wearing big sunglasses and a hat, just in case, but rarely recognised in the same way his lead singer is.

he sleeps on the plane while you read, holding your hand and absentmindedly mumbling your name in his sleep and every time he does you look over to him, expecting him to be calling for you, and instead your face breaks out into a smile and you think about how lucky you are, chuckle and go back to your book.

you land and the hot air hits you, and george's hands are already on your waist as you climb the stairs out of the airplane, needy for you and needing release, again, from missing you so much on tour. (he woke you up twice last night despite the day of travel ahead, to fuck you slowly and moan into your shoulder, before rolling away for a second and breathing out "fuck i missed your body so much. i missed what it does to me.")

so you rush through security and into a taxi to the villa he has booked out for you, him scrambling with the keys and dragging you through it while you're trying to look at the decor, searching for the bedroom, and when he cant find it in the maze of white tile stairs and brown locked door closets, he pushes you against one of the walls and fucks you there instead until you can only see stars and feel heat.

you're there for a week and you barely leave the villa, george picking somewhere completely in the middle of the countryside so he can have you to himself away from sight seeing and culture, just you and him and a blue pool and the sun and your skin, which he rubs suncream into everyday and then you lie out, both holding books, but never actually getting to them, just talking, talking and talking and talking, about everything that happened on tour and back home, everything that has happened to each of you ever, the same way you talked over coffee this morning, and talked yourself to sleep on the aircon cooled pillows the night before.

during siesta sex you suck his dick and watch him grab the clean white sheets of the bed in his fists, hard, to stop himself from going over the edge too quickly, trying to savour it, to savour you, but he can never do it, and afterwards he puts his hand under yours and lifts your face to his and says, "its because you're my weakness," and you go weak at the knees.

you giggle all the way down to the tiny village at the bottom of the hill, you in a dress and kissed brown from the sun and him in a soft tshirt sporting a pink nose. the waiter calls you beautiful and tells george to look after you. "you should marry her," he says, "before someone else does." he laughs at george's bleached hair, rubbing his own dark head and asking if he should do the same. you both laugh with him, and with each other, until your sides hurt.

you walk back up to the villa, hand in hand, stretching apart and then coming back together but never letting go. all the pent up tingling energy, the burning desire, the desperation, has gone now you've fucked each other over and over and over, and you wonder when it will come back, because you know it will, maybe in a few minutes, maybe an hour, maybe tomorrow but for now you are content to just pull up a deck chair, climb into his arms and both fall asleep as the sun sets, ignoring your flight home in a few days, ignoring george's return to tour, ignoring your return to the dull british weather. ignoring everything, even the sunset now as it draws to a close and your eyes fall shut, except the warmth of each others bodies. ignoring everything but each other.

[blueiight]

🔥

Do you agree with the (parts of) fandom take that there was "mutual" toxicity btwn Loustat? I'm trying to think of what exactly Louis does that's so toxic that would make it remotely mutual

i think the urge to find “mutual” abuse shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what power dynamics even look like lol theyre just discomfitted theres near zero openings for them to make a black male character out to be be a big brute and self insert into the fictional man of no color. louis is a master of language, and he never actually says ‘i love u, lestat’. people fixate on it for the wrong reasons, or misinterpret ppl pointing the fact that louis never said those 3-4 words as some false attempt at looking for “mutual abuse”.

louis is not withholding, but trying to claim some semblance of power thru his mastery of language. like @lynnenne said:

Over the course of the season, we see that Lestat is hurt that Louis never says, "I love you." On the surface, this seems like a personal argument between them, but it's actually a symptom of a huge structural problem in their relationship. How can Louis ever make a credible declaration of love when the power gap between them is so huge? …Louis could tell Lestat he loves him morning, noon, and night, but it would be meaningless. And Louis knows this. The one time he tries to leave, Lestat beats him nearly to death. When Claudia tries to flee, Lestat tracks her down and drags her home. They're only as free as the colonizer allows them to be. Lestat believes that vampirism will set Louis free, but he won't even set Louis free. Expecting society at large to be cowed by Louis's vampirism is a delusion on his part.

telling lestat “ima boutta lose the last fucking thing i ever cared about”, “u gone always be alone” [an echo of what armand and nicki told lestat in the books..] & insinuating lestat somehow knew the race riot would occur somehow is incredibly cruel if not erring on delusion w the belief lestat could predict racism but do recall lestat was just as incredibly cruel himself. louis tells lestat in the beginning of episode 3 how theyd gore runaway slaves in jackson square, lestat is a crash test dummy in response to the city leaders cracking down on the azalea, treating this enterprise of pimping as a mere “hobby” of louis like a husband talking down on his wife’s “hobbies” as both lestat and louis can both hear how racist the city leaders are.. was lestat tryna take a seat back& let louis kill them himself? yea and also this passivity in the face of men far weaker than lestat was w/ zero of louis’s obligation to ‘save face’ is jarring. so much for “if disrespect was done to u i wouldve killed him myself” hann les? and in the race riot lestat’s even tryna seduce him& have the riot be their anniversary? in wider context , louis saying those words is a lashing out, a response to treatment already present... and theres no equivalent to what lestat does physically to louis in ep5 that we see so far, and i guess that unnerves ppl& makes them want to draw upon mutual abuse theories? which is crazy cuz im p sure them mens of no color yall watch be tearing eachother up& yall have no problem shipping them otherwise w/o mutual abuse theorizing but i digress. imo what louis placed on & has done to claudia is far worse than w/e hes done to lestat but we all know fanon is generally far more sympathetic to fictional men of no color than they are to a fictional black woman... if by toxicity , they mean that lestat along w/ turning louis out [cant find a better way to phrase this] also draws out louis’s vile attributes & fans the flames for louis’s capacity for cruelty [embrace the beautiful things u r & embrace what u r, ur a killer, louis.] that was already there n i wrote this entire think piece for nothing, then i agree. but mutual abuse theories is just😂😂 i just want ppl to embrace we r all here for the problematic yaoi n stop tryna play stan wars.

[whitemonsterenjoyer]

Stupid stupid rant about my friend

TLDR: Friends are disappointing! I should just isolate myself and focus on ⭐ving instead!!!

honestly kind of fucking hate my friend right now. he gets pissed off over the smallest fucking shif and he never fucking says anything. he like hates communication. its gotten to a point where i dont want to play games with him and our other friends because he just gets annoyed and yells at us. i always feel like im doing something wrong! im so uncomfortable all the time! and then they get confused and upset when i dont feel like playing again. buddy, how can i fucking enjoy anything when youre making me feel uncomfortable at best the whole time????

he reminds me of my ex so much its awful. i cant stand him sometimes. if you dont respond the right way or at all hes say some shit like "i should just die" or "you guys hate me" and i just! hate it! and he refuses to communicate ANYTHING. hed rather give you the silent treatment IN THE FUCKING VOICE CHAT. you ask him a question qnd youll have to keep repeating it for like ten minutes before hell answer because he got mildly upset. he got snippy with us because we didnt have the game open the moment he joined the call. he got fucking mad at us for mentioning school while were on break. like???? im fucking sorry that we briefly mentioned something thats been a part of our daily lives for the last like 12 years? and we barely even actually talked about school. i just got upset that ill have to sit with the annoying kids in my first period, and our other friend said that her voicemail was full of colleges doing college shit. not only that, its just really fucking dumb that hes upset over talking about school during break. its literally fucking ending, you cant not think about it. and does he think that hes the only one stressed over school?? one friend doesnt even have freetime during the week a majority of the time because shes doing so much school shit. i almost committed in freshman year! and even now, i need hours after school every day to decompress because im so fucking overstimulated and overwhelmed all day! and the third other person is taking FIVE AP CLASSES. their ass is swamped with work too!!! meanwhile, he can get home and have the time and energy to draw and play video games and record and edit videos all in the same day. if snything he doesn't get to say anything about not wanting to think about school while relaxing bc hes the most relaxed!

i asked him why he didnt tell us smtg would upsst him before we did it and he just responded with "i assumed you guys were cool." ok.

i mentioned that i had stolen sone of my parents alc while i was doing online school. yknow that period of time where i was struggling with dissociation and thoughts of committing? and nobody was fucking talking to me? he said that made me a bad person.

our friend has a girlfriend and naturally they spend a lot of time together. he gets upset seeing that theyre playing the same game or knowing that theyre hanging out without us. i dobt mind, i just wished shed let us know that she had plans rather than leaving out of nowhere. but he genuinely like despises her for spending time with her significant other.

ive stopped making plans with him because he kept flaking. he was always so indecisive and he would cancel plans the night before so often. sometimes even the MORNING OF. he would want to save money even if he wouldve spent a total of 10 dollars, or hed be too tired bc he refused to stop playing games the night before. i always go to bed earlier if im doing something the next day. i dont know why im not worth the same energy. honestly im not sure he actually likes hanging out with me, im just the only one willing to do the same things as him. the only plans that worked out were things he was absolutely going to do regardless of anyone going with him.

i dont wven know how to breach the subject with him because, again, hes so much like my ex. i know that if i make him feel bad, hell either get defensive or just freak out and cry about it. i listened to my ex say id be better off if he was gone in response to me venting way too many times to want to express my feelings about people ever again.

and it really sucks bc other times hes really nice and fun to be around. i just wonder if he dies actually like me at all. i feel like he sees me as less than sometimes.

idk i stopped being mad and got sad.

but i mean hes implied it before. he wants more friends to play cod and fortnite with and go to the park at night with. he never asks me to do thise things. im willing to play fortnite. i want to play cod. i want to do literally anything at night especially go to the park. he especially wanted more guy friends to do things with.

hed be happier being friends with the kids at school who hate me

idk. this is dumb. its 3am.

[slytherinshua]

On the scale of 1-10, how would you rate your closest moots?

omg lmfao umm... i hope u meant like rating them as ppl vs rating how close they are to me (does that even make sense??) AND YES I GAVE EVERYONE A HIGH RANKING CAUSE I ACTUALLY CANT BEAR TO GIVE ANYONE A LOW RANKING THEYRE ALL SO PRECIOUS TO ME <//3

@eternalgyu okay listen in my head she's a 10/10 CAUSE SHE RLY IS THE BEST FRIEND IVE EVER HAD. but no one is perfect and no one is getting a perfect 10/10 so if im like truly rating her based on everything i'd say maybe a 9.998/10? she can't spell and fr she has this problem of attacking me 👹 but she's the best person i know and always will be completely irreplaceable to me <33

@wheeboo 2/10 8/10!! rania is rly fun to talk to and be around and i think our senses of humour match rly well (since we're always fighting and then saying ily the next second 🤺) our countless kdrama nights and music sessions are some of the most relaxing and nice times of my life so even tho i say i hate her prob once a week (SHE DESERVES IT CAUSE OF THE FUCKING ANGST) we all know i don't mean it <3 divorced for life ☝️

@blue-jisungs hmmmmmm 8.5/10? maybe its cause i've known axe for a very long time and she's kinda a big multi like i am, its like nostalgic and comforting to talk to her?? she's rly goofy so she makes me laugh a lot but it just makes me feel at home.

@haecien 9/10 and yes he gets extra points for being the only guy friend ive ever had a good experience with to this day 😍 that's actually such a feat like congrats cien ily <33 but srsly hes so amazing and its so fun to attack talk to him abt seungwoo and harua and all the ppl we love to simp over together

@weird-bookworm another 8/10 👹 she always calls me a lil gremlin and says i need to sleep 👹👹👹👹 but i love her i know she's just worried abt me (stop being such a mother sky sheesh 🙄) very very chaotic always and def the biggest army i still know which makes me feel a little nostalgic also cause i probably would go weeks without hearing abt bts if it wasn't for her 🥹

@caramel-maveeato my actual wife like i HAVE to give her at least a 9.5/10 like!! she's just that amazing <33 her writing skills???? her DRAWING skills??? and she's so fun to talk to!! (rizzing me up every moment but its okay i flirt back 😣)

@candewlsy OKAY MIZU LIKE KSJDKS. esp recently??? i feel like she got herself some extra points CAUSE HER HUMOUR HAS CHEERED ME UP SM RECENTLY. so i'm giving her a 9.25/10. if ur friends w her and see her humour then you'll know like SHES SO FUNNY

@evalevaeva actually #1 fuma simper w me. i think she gets at least an 8/10 for FEEDING ME DELUSIONS. but like the angst that you've written eva 😓 STILL CANT FORGIVE IT. but def always fun to talk to her even tho she might be a beomseok simp 🤨 she's in denial but 🤨 i see it okay 👹

[scorchedhearth]

If you could fukky control and write about Jason as character what would you do?

oh thank you for indulging me :] i suffer from cant shut up disease so i had to put a cut there

ok so, first of all, i don't really follow what he's up to nowadays, i've read a couple of issues here and there but mostly it bores me so i dont have the fine details of continuity, no idea how to tie my hypothetical changes with what's currently going on

what i'd want to do is give him back the crime boss persona. not like he was in utrh, not entirely, but give him an attitude, set of values and principles that isn't the regular approach vigilantes have of investigating crimes and acting as aftermath. that's what's most interesting to me about red hood, that he takes proactive actions and has this 'control to prevent' attitude, there's a lot to be done with a 'good' guy doing something pretty much all of the heroes look down upon, things to explore and question and measure, and im not just talking about the 'to kill or not to kill' problem, but also 'is it ok to break in and beat people as a vigilante? where do you draw the line of what's admitted or not for a vigilante to do just because they've got good intentions even if legally it is a crime? you can leak drug deals information to the police but cannot do them yourself to manipulate the results as you want? what's moral, what's accepted as good and bad actions?' and all that jazz

first and foremost in the plot of this hypothetical run i'd be given, i'd have him give up the crowbars (fucking stupid choice imo), pick up guns again and stop running around doing patrol like every single other gotham vigilante do, there's spoiler to keep an eye on the narrow if he's worried about his home neighborhood. what i want for him is to do a lot of investigation and research and planning like he does pre-utrh, spending time making up complicated plans and then striking and unfolding it piece by piece with extreme meticulousness, showcasing his many skills (yes, fighting skills but also people skills like manipulation or reading people, making bombs, traps, poisons, using politics and all those things he learned)

i'd have him turn away from the batfam, at this point they've reached a status quo of as good relations as they'll get, by now jason has run dry his fantasy of good family attitudes and settled for what he'll get, stop trying to reach for their attention (admitting he's no longer 19 but in his 20s now). but, and that could be the new conflict, this new indifference could be a point of contention for bruce, who cannot use his desire for recognition as a way to weigh in jason's decisions. basically, emancipation from the daddy issues for my boy <3

for the story itself, im half temped to put black mask against, first because their interactions were amazing in utrh, and second because i think black mask having red hood sicced on himself twice is hilarious, man getting his office blown up by the same rogue vigilante twice, more news at 8. i would want something a lot more grounded, not magic or science fiction, just jason going up against gotham's mafia and slowly mowing them all down, getting his fingers into all the corrupted pies of gotham officials and pulling strings to his satisfaction. there would be lots of political plot points i think, jason growing bored of them to rely on his own methods, the slow gears of how crime actually works in real life

and! on a personal life note, have him bond with other people, not in his personal life because i still want him messed up and refusing genuine human relationships, but on a general human level. actually show why he's doing this, show the drug users getting compassion from the operation he's setting up, show him watching over the kids needing help, dismantling cover-up for abusers, etc. show that despite what he lets on, jason actually cares about other people and that's why he's doing this, to make gotham safe and protect victims and innocent people

the book ends with jason as this new gotham kingpin that even batman can't take down (and batman genuinely tries to, he just can't because jason is competent, he was trained right), thus putting a new status quo for following writers to stick to in the coming years, and maybe then we'd get stories that are deeper than just 'oh is killing good or bad? what does my dad want me to do because i don't have a personal moral anymore'

[oldmemoria]

lmao i fucking forgot to share this

not only do i have unorganized miguel heacanons but i have unorganized HOBIE ones too

i have unorganized random headcanons for all the characters i brainrot over these two are no different!!

identity headcanons first hehe:

hes trans. he probably diyed his hrt and also has top surgery somehow hes magic. (i also think he'd have tattoos over his scars, either super cool bat/devil wings or an intricate spider design on their whole abdomen cant decide ill draw it later 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉)

he, however, doesnt really have any specific sexuality or gender labels they feel like they fit into. theyre attacted to all genders of varying degrees but doesnt really put a label on it. he just exists.

also doesnt mind what pronouns you use for her. any/all. basically.

also also would encourage people to use the weirdest and coolest neopronouns they can think of for zem like REALLY go out there WHATEVER YOU CAN THINK OF.

ADHD haver?? MAYBE???

to the rest acaksdlfj;akdjf:

theyre very crafty and dabble in basically every form of art. music, graffiti, painting, sculpting (mainly with trash or scraps or random discarded items he finds, more on that later on), sewing, whatever. if he can learn to do it she will.

he is super touchy and likes being close to people, but also understand boundaries.

very emotionally intelligent, i feel like this is canon anyway but ill just put it out there, ze can basically sense if someone is upset.

LOVES ABSOLUTELY LIVES FOR talking to new people, will go out of their way to introduce himself to basically everyone, especially new spider-people she meets.

he is a bit of a joker, ofc, but he wont try and push boundaries that he clearly sees or hears from the person theyre talking to. hi people who hc him as being an unself aware dickhead shut up you are very wrong did you even watch the movie.

this one is probably my favorite but he will pick up random things he sees around him and keep them for art projects. cool rock on the sidewalk? its a rock, hes gonna take it. funny lookin bug? might pick it up for a little to look at it and put it back in a safer spot. bottle cap? "mine now". like i said before he likes using litter to make art.

he will stop mid-mission if he sees something cool that he can take home like "oh [riff] cool leaf" and put it in his pocket.

i was referencing this post btw i love this headcanon, absolutely genius, i will steal it ty /lhj

this stealing of random objects from all around the multiverse has caused many lectures for miguel (they arent listening)

they have some kind of control over what texture/color they turn into if xey really think about it but most of the time he just kind of.. lets it do its thing. (sort of like a RainWing?)

shockingly good at vague yet oddly specific threats that are unrealistic but if you really think about it it's like "oh yeah he could totally do that..." but she wouldn't. yknow what im saying right???

while he does live in the 70s where technology was uh... not as popular nor as advanced as they are now, he's aware of modern tech through Gwen, Miles, Pav, DEFINITELY through Margo and Miguel, but she doesn't really use it often. doesnt really see the point.

along with that he also is aware of modern music as well, he has mixed feelings (gwen is probably the biggest influence though she is such a Pinkshift/Paramore/My Chem girlie it hurts to think about)

100% collects record of artists, especially smaller artists, that they like.

if you get them going about music he will talk for HOURS. HOURS until you tell him to shut up, even though fae totally wont listen and will keep going anyway. (just like me teehee projecting is fun <3 )

while hobie does use his guitar as a weapon for some reason he is quite protective of it. they wont try and stop you from touching it or playing it, but he will watch you like a hawk. half out of "oo look another person is interested in guitar" and the other half of "👁️👁️ dont break it i can only do that /j" (a lot of musicians are like that, i would know, im one of them. ha)

loves stray animals. cats, dogs, birds, anything. he will stop to pet them if they let him.

he also will talk to cats like any other person. especially spider cat. spider cat could make a cat noise and he'd act like he understood it. "yeah totally man, i get it. meow."

he can sing like... averagely? he has a good sense of pitch and timing, as most musicians do, but she isnt professionally trained or really does it too often

they will scream though

also really likes messing with makeup and bodypaint. he will spend hours on it if he can.

FUCK I AM SO HAPPY I DIDNT POST THIS IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I KEEP REMEMBERING THINGS ACK HERES ONE LAST ONE POST THIS AFTER ASH I SWEAR (edit from two weeks later: i forgor): he definitely isnt a morning person. he loves to sleep in. definitely values rest, like a lot. miguel will call him at like 7 am and hobie will flip him off and say 5 more minutes when they really mean 2 more hours.

do i have any more?? hmmm maybe if i remember but this is what i have so far. mostly just silly lil headcanons that arent entirely plot relevant as most of my headcanons are.

[cluelylikesporn]

okay exam update cuz im actually really pissed off.

so im autistic + adhd, and only been diagnosed relatively recently, so i havent really been getting assistance until now. (autism diagnosis last year, adhd 2 years ago.)

my last exam was (still is) this period, and im going home once i finish it. one of my other exams i was sent to special ed (it’s called different things in australia and other schools but i dont wanna get doxxed) and the chick helping me (we’ll call her charlie) told me she couldnt even read the questions out to me… like i legit get more help in my normal exam conditions.

she told me WHILE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK “i think i know why your so upset, because you know you dont listen in class and just sleep and draw on your hand.” cunt, what..?

HOW ARE YOU WORKING WITH NEURODIVERGENT KIDS..?

i literally have spent my whole life wondering why i cant listen in class and hearing “just reread it.” or “your not listening hard enough.” is so fucking tiring. maybe explain it? she refused to help me because i “wasnt approved” to have a helper

the school knows im autistic so why do i have to be approved to get the help i need? like you dont have to make up all these forms and files. you have teachers who can help me literally in the building who could help me but you refuse.

okok i got rlly off topic but tldr on what happened today:

my teacher sent me to the special ed area to do my exam (last time he did they told me to go back) also shout out to my english teacher hes a legend. he gave me my sheet, i took a ritalin, said bye to the people i liked and left. (i used to take ritalin daily but now i jst take it to focus better in exams and shit)

i went to se and saw a couple kids i knew. one i hated and didnt know why he was there, one who has some mental problems so i understood why he was there. hes a sweetie. and some chick i knew who broke her wrist and had to write on a laptop.

so one by one they were assigned a teacher who would sit with them and help them/ read out questions and then the lady said “oh chloe your not supposed to be here, you have to go back to class.”

are you fucking kidding me.

i completely understand its not her or my teachers fault im not meant to be there, but im allowed to be a little frustrated. i asked why i kept getting sent here and why i couldn’t get help.

same shit about documents and boring stuff.

keep in mind i get ndis funding so i thought that would impact my education experience but nope, literally nothing. i also understand there could be things my mum hasnt done and that’s completely ok she has her own life, but also THE SCHOOL KNOWS IM AUTISTIC. that should be enough. its like i only get the help if i start ditching class and become an eshay or some shit like i shouldnt have to become a troubled kid to get help.

so the lady said my only benefit i even got from the school is like 5 minutes extra time. and she told me i could either go back to class or do my exam here( which means i could get no help/ questions read to me.)

ngl this was dumb of me but i said ok bc i didnt want to go back to class after saying bye to everyone😭

so i sat there with one airpod in, a pen that didnt fucking work, the only help i could get was eavesdropping on what the assistant teachers were saying but they were so quiet. i did manage to write some stuff but it was pretty fucking stressful. i couldnt stop thinking about what charlie said (the lady helping me with my maths the week before.)

this may sound super dumb but i saw a crow fly onto a table outside and i felt like it was watching over me. like it was looking right at me. it made me feel a bit better and i got some work done.

it wouldve been fine if those fucking assistant teachers didnt keep giving me pitiful looks like bro. i know im fucked.

anyway i finished my exam (barely) and went to the bathroom to tell my friend ab what happened, caught a bus home and am about to play dbd 😾

sorry for the long post im jst so pissed😭 but ily guys and ill post i swear🙏

song of the day: