#im really self conscious while i write things that are self indulgent

[bitchfendi]

thinking abt my ocs for layton and vibrating bc i dont have motivation to draw or write them right now

[ihave-atummyache]

3 way with ur roomie, hey roomie

ot8 blurb/imagine

stray kids

just my personal thoughts on the topic of ur skz!bf sharing u with another member (;

1.5 words

just hard thoughts i guess? idk im just horny and thinking

bang chan:

would share u with seungmin.

i feel like they would have very different approaches to how they are intimate, however, they both very much so give off brat tamer vibes in my opinion! i think seungmin would be more of a hard!dom brat tamer and chan would be more of a soft!dom brat tamer or even like more of an emotional brat tamer than a physical one. in the context that seungmin would spank you, smack you, spit on you, degrade you, chan would rather have you write that youre sorry 100 times on a piece of paper. im sorry its hot idk dont ask me!

i think their dynamic would work well together because they are so opposite but also so similar that it would be really easy to break you.

also they both would definitely love to see you cry. idk thats what theyre saying!!

lee know:

would share u with chan.

okay, hear me out. i know most people would think that he would share you with jisung but i so disagree!! minho is a possessive, jealous, mfer (hot). that being said, he is also basically joined at the hip with jisung and when you come around, its probably quite often the three of you together.

i dont think minho could stand the idea of you being around someone 24/7 that has seen you naked and felt every inch of you. hes sooo jealous.

but!! i think minchan would make for a great time tbh. theyre both so strong and yummy that it could get really rough, fast!! they're both very conscious of your body and how it is reacting to everything and they work in perfect tandem to make sure youre having a good time :p

you definitely cum so many times you can’t walk by the end of it all!

oh! and they both have greatttt stamina so i can just imagine you guys going at it for hours and hours.

most likely to have been made self indulgently, fueled by my own personal desires.

-on my knees for minchan.

changbin:

would share u with hyunjin.

changbin is so obsessed with hyunjin and its the cutest thing in the world. he thinks he can never be more obsessed with anyone but then, he meets you!

the idea of the two people he adores most in the world being intimate with him at the same time??? hot. hot hot hot. i also think that binnie is such a visual person. seeing you and hyunjin together is probably just pure art in his eyes.

i think that it would actually be super intimate. it would definitely not be something that happens often or casually. it probably happened one night on accident and it was a lot more intimate and intense than you all figured it would be.

changbin and hyunjin definitely kiss while they eiffel tower u. im sORRY!

hyunjin:

would share u with felix.

hyunjin loves felix so much. we all know this. i think that it would be very important that you and felix get along for hyunjin to make the relationship work.

honestly, it wouldnt surprise me if hyunjin were to make you two meet before you meet anyone else. he just values lix's opinion so much and its so cute. with that being said, i think that the idea of sharing you would kind of come naturally.

you and felix have GREAT chemistry and i think it would be hyunjin that suggests it. you three are probably sitting around the table or in the living room and he's just listening to you and felix talk and then he just speaks up with something stupid and hyunjin-like, for example: 'do you wanna have a threesome. like us three?' and obviously you and felix are quite surprised but after it being talked about, youre all down.

felix is probably a little softer in bed and i imagine hyunjin being the same way, except if he get particularly worked up. i imagine sex with hyunjin is usually pretty intimate and more like love-making. he is just such a romantic and values intimacy so much.

theres probably a lot of you receiving great head from the two boys and a LOT of kissing. and they have such nice lipshshshsjash

u definitely have a few bruises left as a reminder.

han:

would share u with minho.

okay okay okay so

im sensing the dynamic of minho actually not really participating and youre both kind of submissive BECAUSE voyeur minho>>>>

him telling jisung exactly how he should touch you or what he should say to you and then he gets all frustrated when jisung doesnt do it right and pushes him out the way and is like 'do it like this' and then showing him exactly how its done.

you're definitely being treated like an object more than a person and it's embarrassingly just that much hotter. i feel like jisung would follow every one of minho's commands without much thought. he trusts him whole heartedly even when it comes to you.

when you do actually have sex with both of them, it’s probably super rough. i feel like jisung would feed off minho’s energy and try to match it, yk?

felix:

would share you with changbin.

okay....hear me out! why do i lowk feel like you could dom changbin and felix so well.... and theyre so muscly and like masculine but you can get them both on their knees for you????? HOT

anyways, felix trust changbin a lot and he has said that changbin is his ideal type in men so... youre his ideal type, changbin is his ideal type, felix is in heaven.

a lot of praise from you has them both flustered and blushing and like putty in the palm of your hand. they could definitely dom you too tho!!! dont get me wrong.

manhandled, thrown up against a wall, rough, marked up, the works. they would probably hold you up at an insane angle so they can both fuck into you at the same time. some crazy karma sutra shit. i think they would be the first ones out of all these duos that would be found out. the way that changbin just suddenly gets a lot closer and touchier with you and the way the three of you would interact, it would be suspicious

most likely to end up in a poly relationship, methinks!

seungmin:

would share u with i.n.

THATS HIS BRO FR.

"seungmin, how do i make a girl cum with my fingers?"

"i can show u better than i can tell u"

and thats how you end up sprawled out on the bed getting edged over and over and over until you can barely feel your body!

"no angle your hand like this, there you go! you feel how this pretty pussy just clenched around you? thats good"

"you could probably make her squirt, she does all the time"

seungmin's words would be filthy. actually talking like youre just a sex doll that they can use for their own pleasure. i.n would probably often return and ask you and seungmin different questions and then youre all in the bedroom

he just happens to be more of a visual learner is all!

least likely to become poly, methinks! im under the impression that out of everyone, seungmin and jeongin would be the two that are most likely to keep things platonic. i think these would also be the most likely two members that have a friend with benefits and genuinely never catches feelings, yk?

okay and maybe it's just my own personal hand kink.... but they both have such fucking pretty hands like oh my goshdmsmshx put them down my throat pls!

i.n:

would share u with jisung.

tbh i think jeongin would be the most likely to share you with multiple members (maybe at the same time but uh anyways) but him and jisung just work.

jeongin is genuinely sooooo fond of jisung and you can just tell. he takes good care of jisung, even though he's younger and i think he trusts him a lot.

however, i think there could be a crazy dynamic here...

dom i.n x sub hannie x sub you?????

why is that kind of hot... and you all know im a big advocate for dom!han but i imagine him being a softer dom, at least a lot softer than jeongin. i.n and minho seem like they would be very similar in their dom ways.

i just cant imagine jeongin being a sub!!! like he IS an aquarius…lets not forget.

him and han’s dynamic is very silly and you can tell that they love each other dearly and feel very safe with one another. like they’re very much themselves around one another. i think thats why han would be able to sub to jeongin. and the irony of him being younger and he’s bossing him around… he would dig. jisung a freak!

han is a certified pussy addict. he eats coochie off the bone!! im imagining you sat back against i.n’s chest and jisung is between your legs just devouring and jeongin has his fingers practically gagging you omg i gtg N O

[hollowfyshunsuikubo]

Mayuri Kurotsuchi Headcannons

A/N: Thie fic itself is going to take a while (Uni started up again and I am Suffering) so to feed yall before the self-indulgent smut im going to write, here's some SFW and NSFW headcannons. NSFW (and NSFW contents + warnings) is below the cut!

Mayuri Kurotsuchi x Gn!Reader (but Fem!Reader mentioned for NSFW)

Warnings: Smut, general Mayuri insanity, Slight Yandere themes, mentions of minor surgery, goofy silly moods

SFW:

You and Mayuri tend to have a very argumentative relationship once you've been dating for a few years

In the beginning, he was very possessive but also distant

He was very in denial that he felt anything, but he opened up after a while

You two have lots of arguments over morals and people

He believes that as long as you're safe, everything is fine

You're just trying to tell him that yes, you're safe. But the damned shinigami noble on the table getting a second heart because they paid for a years worth of funding is definitely not at that particular moment.

Hes often rude and blunt, but he means it in a good way. He'll often sound disinterested, but if you ask him about what you were talking about, he'll repeat it word for word and ask if you're going to continue or if he can keep working.

His version of being sweet is showing you his Lans and creations, but keeping you close my his side, his long nail always touching you if he needs to move forward or a little further away to show you something

Has definitely tried to show you how to dissect something odd, like another shinigami he picked up stole from the 4th Division. Needless to say, a fight broke out between you two, which ended with a scalpel and Akon both being thrown.

He also likes to have you sit on his lap while he's working.

Did he make a chair that he can sit in comfortably while you sit on his lap? Yes.

Does this chair have more comfort than any other chair in the 11th Division? Also yes.

Hes quite big on quality time you see, mixed with physical affection

Though some days, when he's more on edge than others, he'll opt to keep you in sight, but doesn't want to be touching you.

Like cuddling with you at night, when he can be bothered to sleep.

When he is very busy and can't make it to bed, he'll send Nemu with his regrets. He'd prefer to go himself, but it's far too busy.

He has contemplated installing a lavish, closed off, private, quadruple password locked room for you in his lab, just so he can see you easier, but he felt it may be too dangerous for you

He also enjoys seeing you chat with Nemu, though he does reprimand her if she gets too 'free' with you. Nemu is just happy her master is happy.

Nemu treats you like a mother. Yes I believe that Mayuri and Nemu are father daughter and not husband and wife come @ me. She enjoys going on "surveillance trips" with you (AKA walks around the Seireitei)

Moving on to nicknames and pet names, he doesn't really use them, but he does have clear favorites when he's in the mood. Baby and my dear are his go-tos if he feels mushy, but sweeting and rabbit are for his muh softer moments. He likes using rabbit as a teasing word. Not bunny, rabbit. He doesn't like bunnies.

He likes making sure you have things to do if you want to spend time alone, or if he's too busy.

His Captain's salary used to fully go towards funding the lab, but buying you things you want is also a good use of his money.

Hes never overstepped that particular boundary of excessive buying, though, especially if you're money conscious (all my people raised poor wya!)

Being with Mayuri is generally just an odd, but fun, if a little strained, time.

Tiny drabble:

It was cold today. You were bundled up as warmly as possible, attempting to not freeze before you go to Mayuri. You'd hoped to see him last night, you even stayed up far past your usual time, but Nemu poked her head around the corner and said that he'd regretfully be spending the night in the lab. You were welcome to join him, though.

You declined. It's been getting much colder, so you stayed in bed.

Now you wished you hadn't. You're tired and cold. A few Division members say hellos to you as you walk, and when you finally reach the lan, you see Mayuri in his chair, hunched over the console, looking at data.

"Nice of you to join me. Come, sit, now." He waved you over, not taking his eyes off the console. When you pause to wrap yourself up a little more, you hear the clacking of his fingers on the keys stop. "Sweeting, come here."

You forget about how cold you are and hurry on over. He's already leaning back in his seat, his hands away from his console, his brow irritated that he has to wait for you. You slide into his lap, and the smart chair registers that you're there. Another back pops up behind you, soft and squishy. But you opt to snuggle into Mayuri. His headpiece is a little annoying, but it's more endearing knowing you've seen what's underneath. That handsome face, alongside the soft lips that aren't covered with paint. He is finally able to get back to work, not saying another word.

That is, until he notices how many layers you're wearing.

"This lab has the best technology in the entire Soul Society, underfloor heating, and is warmed precisely so nobody is every distracted by the cold. If you're feverish or sick, go back to my room. I will provide you with warmth and a cure-all for your sickness." He doesn't look zt you just yet.

He feels a little insecure. How would you get sick? Is he not doing enough to keep you safe and healthy? Does he need to strengthen your immune system so he can spend more hours like this with you?

"I'm just a little cold, that's all." You reply gently. "There's nothing wrong with it. I'm not sick." Your reassurances did nothing to persuade him, but he supposed he could at least keep an eye on you while you're with him. At least you're with him. If you weren't, he have to take drastic measures to make sure you were. Nobody else was going to have you, that was for sure.

"Hmph. Fine." His clacking increased in speed. You closed your eyes, ready to finally cure the tired part of you, when you heard the clacking stop again and fabric wrap around you.

You opened your eyes to find he's wrapped his Captain's cloack around you, pulling you closer to him while also keeping you warm. The combination of his body heat the warmth of the cloak, and the renewed rhythmic tapping of his fingers on the keyboard fixed all your ills. The cold and your tiredness ebbed as you fell asleep in his arms, nestles close to him.

Despite the fact he was still working, he cursed you fot breaking his concentration. You were a little pest sometimes.

But at least you were his pest. He'd been working all night, after all... having you asleep with him, providing hum some much deserved affection as a reward for his hard work was worth it. After all, he was the most intelligent man in the Soul Society. He deserved to have a beautiful woman on his arm, in his arms, providing him with pesky emotions he didn't exactly not like, but rather enjoyed. He especially liked the strange fuzzy feeling he gets whenever he sees your peaceful sleeping face. What was that feeling called again?

NSFW:

a/n tried to keep it as gn!reader as possible, but there is ONE mention of a womb and pregnancy. (I fully believe Mayuri would give a biological male a working uterus and womb just to get them pregnant though)

WARNINGS: Sex toys, marking, nipple play, slight exhibitionism, breeding kink, degrading, power play, mentions of branding, mentions of knifeplay, semi-public sex, creampies, mentions of cock, womb mention/s (f!reader), masturbation, implied yandere in drabble

So, he likes toys.

Hes even made them for you.

Vibrating dildos in the shape of his cock to keep you coming while he's not there.

Vibrating panties that are so silent you can't hear it when you're right next to them.

A little toy kind of like the rose toy, except it's unsettlingly like his actual tongue

Needless to say, he's got you covered while he's away

When he's with you?

RIP.

Throwing it out there: he's a scientist. He's made his dick bigger. We've all seen how he carries Ashisogi Jizo. BDE.

So: 8.5 inches (cut, he likes to be clean) he keeps it unpainted (most of the time) and his balls are clean shaven, having slightly low. Good girth on him, enough to be somewhat of a stretch but not unpleasant. Really good hygiene down below too.

Anyway, he likes to study your reactions

The first few time you had sex, all he did was watch you. He even took notes.

You can't find the notes he took but you're sure that if you can't, nobody else but he can.

He's memorized your weakest, spongy spots

knows you live having your nipples sucked and licked and gently pulled.

those first few times were just you orgasming over and over and over again

loves biting. Marking is a big thing for him, as it shows that you belong to him.

Doesng like to mark with you cum though, as he feels it's a waste

Breeding kink? No

Hatred of wasting perfectly good seed with the potential to grow a genius nearly at his level within your womb? ✨️yes✨️

Is a more dominant man in bed, though likes to power bottom if you really want to ride.

The few times he's properly subbed for you, he didn't mind it, but he'd rather not

You made your sexual boundaries clear, but he's always asked permission to test them. A small brand he healed and got rid of here, a few interesting nights with knifeplay there...

Mayuri may be off the rails, but he'd do anything to keep you by his side. He knows your boundaries, and he knows his.

Moving on, he loves to degrade you.

Filthy slut, naughty whore, stupid bitch, and little cumdumpster seem to be his favorites

He loves the risk of being caught, as he loves the risk of you being humiliated

But he always makes sure you're never caught.

You'd be in an alley way, his cock thrusting in and out like a piston, one leg hoisted into the air, the cold air hitting your most sensitive part while he uses you like a toy, his other hand gripped firmly under your chin to tilt your head back to look at him.

You're dripping everywhere, the sounds of his dick going in and out of you something so lewd and pornographic you can't even contain your moans.

"You'd like to be caught, wouldn't you, you little whore? Go on, cum then, give the men who will walk past something to lick up and stare at."

When you cum, he shoves two fingers in your mouth, causing you to choke a little. He doesn't stop his hips, but you can feel your eyes rolling as he keeps abusing that sweet, sensitive spot inside you

Without warning, he's all the way in, his tongue running down your neck to bite the junction between your shoulder and neck as he cums deeply inside you.

Theres always a lot of it, to the point where it's almost like hes got years worth just stored there (even though your sex life is somewhat regular)

Oh yeah. I don't think Mayuri has a high sex drive, per se, I just think he likes to be close with you. Any chance he gets, he's like to be spending quality time with you and touching you in some way, and sex is quite good for that.

aftercare is pretty odd tbh

"You did better than I thought you would."

he generally likes to hold you close, and uses his captains hoari to wipe you down, if you want to be wiped down.

not many kisses, but he'll talk about the most insane things (i.e, how exciting it would be to study Ichigo Kurosaki, how annoying Captain Shunsui is, nitpicking over Akons work in the lab) quietly to help you get to sleep

once you're asleep, that's when the real aftercare starts

If your an afab, as much as he hates wasting it, he gives you a little injection to prevent his seed from taking hold in your womb

because of course, he's modified his semen to bypass any and all forms of birth control

after that, he cleans himself up, becayse he actually hates feeling sticky (as fun as it all was, that's one of his few icks when it comes to sex) he gets all the cum, the bodypaint, the sweat, and blood (if there is any) off before going back to bed

lastly, he'd make sure the bed was comfortable enough for him to settle down into, and he cuddles with you for as long as he can before either morning comes or he has to go back to work

he likes to cage you to him while you sleep, making sure you really can't escape

Tiny nsfw drabble:

His mouth devoured yours, much like how a lion would devour it's first meal in days. In the tiny corner of the lab, a hidden room long covered over but with no dust on any surface- he must have planned this, you think -he presses you against the wall, kissing you with such passion yet such possessiveness, you wonder if this is how the moon feels knowing the sun chases her. Knowing such heat is so close, yet only the sun can demand when you shine from it.

Everything in your mind turned into mush as he shoved you further against the wall, the pommel of Ashisogi Jizo pressing into your stomach, pushed a little further out than normal from his hard cock, still confined into his pants.

You tried. You really did. You knew his rule -"No touching until I tell you," -but it was so hard to abide by when you hadn't had him in over a week. It had been so busy, what with his newest big project...

So your hands moved to the front of his hakama, gently cupping his growing bulge through the fabric. You were rewarded so kindly for your disobedience, with a low growl from him and a hand flying to your throat to stop you from moving anymore, but the gentle grinding of his clothed cock against your hand. His lips nipped at yours and when you opened your mouth to gasp, he slipped his tongue inside, Ashisogi Jizo pressing painfully into your stomach as he leaned his entire body against you, quite desperate now to relieve himself of how hard he was. When he took his hand away from your neck, for a brief moment you had perfect clarity, and realized he wasn't going to punish you today.

Mayuri needed you. Over a week of yearning, battling himself and working so hard for his projects costs and hard work to pay off, he deserved to just stop talking. He deserved to not have to speak, to not say any words or make any sound. He just needed you.

The air was hot as you two writhed. His needs were coming and coming fast, much before yours, but when he dipped his head to bite and suck on your neck, his headpiece digging into your jaw, if felt as if you were about to orgasm just from that.

His hands were rough, pawing at your waist and ass, as if he could tear off your clothes and skin and get to the bones underneath, and make messy, bloody, raw love to your insides. Mayuri was a mess, to the point where he himself, who prided himself on his sharp mind and ability to be clear-headed through anything, began just desperately thrusting his clothes cock into your hand.

Your moans and little gasps when he kept attacking your neck with his lips and teeth, his body pain leaving marks of his lips all over your skin, but not marks like he loves to give, bruises formed by his lips that both adored and condemned you. Lips that lied and manipulated and coerced you into staying once, lips that now tried to make up for all lost time.

As soon as Mayuri found that sensitive spot on your neck- he didn't go straight for it this time, odd... -you scrambled wit your hands to pull down his hakama pants and grabbed ahold of his bare cock. The fleshy hardness of it, the girth, and the length... you couldn't do it alone, but he would help you out. He groaned into you neck, the second sound he's made since he dragged you into this small, abandoned room, pleased with you. He began thrusting, sloppily, into your hands, as you tilted your head back as he kept on kissing and marking your neck. One of his hands moved to paw at your chest, blindly reaching into your shihakusho to toy with one of your nipples as his tongue lapped at your neck.

You're breathy moans and whines, mixed alongside his occasional grunts, echoed in the room, and despite the locked door, he selfishly wished he'd dragged you anywhere else, just so nobody would hear you but him.

At the reminder to himself that you were his, his alone, and his until he chose to discard you (which he would never do), he grunts then exhales from the back of his throat, his cum coating your hands. He slowed his thrusts down, he stopped kissing your neck so hungrily, and he withdrew his hand from the inside of your shihakusho. His breathing was heavy still, and he looked at you with half lidded eyes filled with fire.

You felt a pull in your gut as his cock, which had been softening ever so slightly, hardened again. Mayuri kissed your neck softly, featherlight, before pulling his head back, but he didn't move his hips, or try to escape the grasp your hands had on his dick.

"You're not going to waste the next few, are you, my dear?" His voice is husky, raw with emotion. The look in his eyes reminds you of a man starved, a softly boiling rage born from need of something just beyond his reach. Mayuri leans forward to brush his lips against yours, his long nail on his right hand slowly tracing down the front of your disheveled shihakusho, opening it for his eyes and his eyes only. To see your skin, unmarred for over a week, displayed before him...

"I won't."

Your voice breaks him from his thoughts, and his gaze flicks to yours again. He grins, a predator, a man who will take what he needs to soothe his hunger.

"Good. On your knees then, and don't be wasteful."

[manicpixiefelix]

I just read part 7 of your salt burn series and IM IN LOVE! I loved the dynamics between Felix and reader and the Oliver and reader throughout! Everything is so detailed and paints such beautiful imagery in the mind. I’m honestly speechless and it’s so hard for me to put into words how much I love this series and just the over all writing. I really like how much of the reader we got and how they interacted with not only both the boys but the friend group as well. Felix and reader getting so intimate and then Oliver and reader fucking too which MAKES FELIX JEALOUS. Then Felix reaching for her even without meaning too and the part where only she calls him FI! All this reader stuff makes me feel so special. I love this like favoritism (I think I would say, not sure if that’s the right word) that reader is getting. OBVIOUSLY I LOVE FELIX AND OLIVER TOGETHER TOO but there is just something so rbjdkenodmebsubfi about the complexity and sensuality with reader and them.

AHHH I MEANT TO RESPOND TO THIS DAYS AGO IVE BEEN EATING SAND ABOUT IT SINCE I READ IT YOU'RE SO LOVELYYYY!!!

seriously though, thank you so much for taking the time to indulge in my writing, and to send such sweet, detailed thoughts (they feed me and boy you have made me well fed, fam. sorry i refuse to phrase things in a normal way).

i work very hard, especially in my longer fics, to make it feel like the reader has a place in the world and in the story, like if im giving you the same essential beats as saltburn, i want there to be a reason for you to stick around, to see what's different, to see what this film would be like if you (or this version of you that i've created) lived alongside these character.

still there's absolute favouritism; it's a wish fulfilment fic, of course there's going to be favouritism! i think the reader allows felix to somehow be both better and worse than what we get in canon, we give him the support and genuine love he barely even receives from his family, while also enabling his, at times, self-obsessed hedonism. that's something that i've actually wanted to talk about it that is one of the ways that Oliver and Reader differ despite their relatively similar functions in felix's life. where Oliver calling Felix messy and cleaning up for him and forcing him to see how much people have to pick up after him is Oliver bringing up uncomfortable truths, when it's established that one of the reader's habits is looking out for felix and getting him whatever he wants/helping out all the time, that's an established Game for them, that's their roles, the reader does it without any kind of resentment, and has made it clear they take joy in it.

anyways as much as i love oli, and the dynamic he's building with fi and reader, fi and reader themselves have something so damn special honestly. love love love them looking out for each other, being jealous, being in love, but still being weird and image conscious and unwilling to let their youthful, stupid freedom go and fully commit to each other. they'll get there. <3

[everythingelseisextra]

oh wow i adored horse to water! it’s one of my favorite installments of the series. im personally a sucker for hurt/comfort when the reader is giving the comfort rather than receiving (although receiving comfort is always nice ^_^) can’t wait to see more of the series!

THANK YOU! I just remember desperately wanting Tommy to get some comfort while I was first watching the show, and Only The Wild Ones is the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written, so... he gets his comfort. At the same time, the reader also gets some comfort; it's an equal relationship.

I was worried about Horse To Water being too long or too... I don't know, bad? I'm always self conscious about my writing, so I'm really glad to hear that you liked that part. It means a lot.

[txmxkis]

Rinii, what do you think kuroo would say or react when reader starts feeling self-conscious about readers body, like if reader asks "am i getting fatter" or "do you think im fat?"

ohhhhhh i did not plan to do this but this is something that is so personal to me

warnings. gn!reader, fluffy and probably cheesy as always, chubby!reader is implied but i tried to keep it as inclusive as possible, reader is insecure. again, apparently i can only write self indulgent things my bad

you were supposed to be ready to leave the apartment half an hour ago. you weren't usually one to be late to anything, in fact it made you incredibly anxious when you were. however, today your insecurity outweighed your need to be punctual, and you just couldn't leave while looking like this.

actually, today you couldn't leave looking like anything. pieces of clothing lay strewn across the room, hangers discarded on the floor next to the closet. you had tried on every single one, and still there were none that looked flattering on you.

"oi! are you ready yet? i mean, take your time 'n everything, but technically we're late."

kuroo's voice calling from the other room pulls you out of your thoughts momentarily. he never rushes you, which is something you appreciate greatly. it helps that he knows you well enough to know that you would never be late without good reason.

"is there something i can help with orrrr?"

you could hear his voice getting closer and you really didn't want him to see you in this state right now.

he pokes his head past the doorframe and makes a noise of astonishment.

"a tornado go through here while i was gone or somethin'? or are you just trying to spontaneously reorganize things again."

you roll your eyes at that second thing.

"noooo, i just can't decide what to wear. nothing looks good on me today."

he's standing fully in the doorway now, hands in his pockets as he raises an eyebrow and looks you up and down.

"then wear nothing, it looks great on you."

he smirks and you make a futile attempt not to crack a smile as you feel your face start to burn. suddenly you're even more self conscious, so you grab the nearest piece of clothing to hold in front of you.

"tetsurou, i'm being serious! we needed to leave like forty minutes ago and i can't wear any of these clothes without looking-"

you stop yourself just before you could say fat. you hate giving the word a negative connotation. there's nothing wrong with being fat, nothing that should make you feel like this, anyway. like you wanted to crawl out of your skin. usually you were pretty neutral about your body, on very rare occasions could even love things about it. sometimes, it all catches up to you, though.

all the whispers in your head that come from no one but yourself, degrading you and making you feel worthless because of how you look. logically, you know those thoughts are complete and utter bullshit, but it's so hard to continuously fight against them. today, you're slipping a little.

"i know exactly what you're thinking over there. something about your clothes not fitting quite right and that somehow it makes you unloveable."

you don't even have time to pretend to be shocked that he knows you so well before he just keeps on going.

"well i've got news for you, babe, i've never seen you manage to look bad. i actually think it's impossible for you or something."

for a few moments too long, you just stand there gaping at him. he takes that as his cue to walk towards you, remove the sweater that you've been using as a shield, and toss it off to the side.

"there. better."

you finally snap out of it and smack him on the arm, but before you can pull away, he catches your wrist. he brings it up to his lips slowly, and kisses right where your pulse is probably hammering away at the moment, locking eyes with you as he does.

how are you ever supposed to argue with him if he keeps stunning you into silence?

"i don't think you'll ever understand how much i love you, doesn't matter if you change physically or not. and it doesn't matter what you wear either, so can you pleaseeee put on something so we can go. we both know you'll look perfect in anything."

"ugh, fine! but you get to help me pick."

he rubs his hands together with a devious grin, and you know he'll be grabbing the most revealing thing he can find. you know him well, too, after all.

"something appropriate."

"awww, damn."

[bubbledumbbinch]

Heya! Congrats on the 100+ followers!! Your writing is really good and I enjoy reading your works!

If you dont mind, what would be your headcanons on the TWST dorm leaders of what prefrences they have for a S/O? Like what would they want in an S/O? (Also Im sorry if this has already been asked Im also kinda new to your blog as well ;w;)

Hii!! And thank you 🥰🥺💕 that means a lot to me!! I hope you stay and continue to enjoy yourself here!This hasn’t been asked before so I hope you enjoy!!! ;w; I hope you all enjoy I had a fun time (and a difficult time) writing this out! I think I made it too long, again ;w;

I made this SFW uwu just some fluff!!!! But please keep in mind before you follow me, I MOSTLY POST NSFW works.

Warnings: slight story spoilers for episode 5, for Idia’s part, if u squint

Pairings: Dorm Leaders x Reader

I put things under a cut for length!!

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle would probably want a partner who does well in school - at least someone who tries to! It would go against his own desires to do well in life if he has a partner who doesn’t have the drive to succeed like he does.

He isn’t particularly fond of people who have a lot of potential yet waste it on being lazy. Like I said before, it goes against his own morals.

I also see him wanting someone fun-loving! Riddle grew up in an environment where fun was essentially taboo so he would be drawn like a moth to a flame to someone who has so much energy in them. Remember one of his best childhood friends is Che’nya so he would probably not hate the idea of joking around and being silly once in a while!

Someone who would love sweets like him! Not too often so he could maintain his shape, but someone who would love to indulge him once in a while!

Riddle would love to see an S/O who makes time for him and the unbirthday parties that Heartslabyul hosts! He feels like a good dorm leader and seeing you make an effort to come makes him feel like a great boyfriend too!

“Ah, Y/N, I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to make it today.” Riddle sighed to himself in relief. He feared his rose would come to the party late. “Ah, sorry Riddle! I was late because I was studying for Professor Crewel’s exam but I lost track of time!” You breathed out, a bit exhausted from running.

The redhead only nodded and smiled at you. “Don’t worry about it, my rose. We’ve only just begun the party, so no need to fret.” Riddle’s gentlemanly ways never failed to make your heart soar. “No no, I’ll make it up to you! I’ll bake you a tart sometime, you’ll let me right?” You playfully nudged at your boyfriend’s arm and smirked.

Riddle could only blush furiously. “Th-that would not be a bad idea. I suppose I would accept the gift graciously, dear, but only if we can cook it together. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us to learn!”

Leona Kingscholar

Someone who loves to nap with him like all the time

Leona would definitely want someone who is willing to praise him a lot. Growing up he never really had that and felt like he was overshadowed by his big brother, so this guy needs validation like crazy. Tell him how strong he is, how much you love him, how warm he is… he’ll scoff and look away but you could see the faintest blush on his cheeks. He secretly loves it.

I feel like Leona would like bratty tsunderes, for some reason. He would be the perfect teasing type for them and I think I can just picture Leona and his S/O getting into play fights that lead to something more, if you catch my drift.

Someone who can be “refined” enough for show so that when he brings you home to his family, they can accept you fully. The last thing he wants is his family pestering him about how his potential mate isn’t a good fit.

As tough as he may be he def wants someone at the end of the day to stroke his head and calm him down after a long and stressful day.

“Oi, herbivore, come here and be my pillow.” Leona’s gruff voice broke the silence of his room. He was sitting up on his bed while you studied on his desk. Giggling, you made your way into his bed, crawling over to where he was. Leona pushed your torso down gently and started nuzzling his head on your chest, and you could feel the vibrations coming from his body that was like a low growl. Or was it purring?

“Of course, anything for my big strong boyfriend, the best Magift player in the school, my one and only love~” you endlessly praised him, smiling at him as if he were a rare diamond. Leona only huffed as he wrapped his muscular arms around your form, effectively preventing you from leaving.

“Tch…. Damn right….” Leona mumbled. “Why don’t you tell me more while I start drifting to sleep?” Leona smirked. Running your fingers through his hair carefully, you obliged, feeling Leona’s breathing become more calm as you continued.

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul would ALSO want someone who praises him, due to his years of being bullied. Call him beautiful, smart, tell him he’s the most cunning man on campus. He EATS IT UP. This man will swear on his life for you.

He also would want someone who has the ability to work hard… what? The Mostro Lounge needs extra workers sometimes! Azul thinks that if he can own the lounge, manage contracts, AND study hard for school, his S/O should be able to match him!

I can see Azul absolutely praising/spoiling his S/O too. Since you give him so much happiness in his life he should pay it forward, no? What would you like, a new dress/suit? A new piece of jewelry?

Someone !!! Loyal!!! Azul wants someone who he can feel secure with in a relationship, so he probably wouldn’t want you to flirt with anybody else since his insecurities will SPARK UP like crazy!

Azul wants someone who loves him for who he is, unconditionally!

“Angelfish… hello, good evening. I’m sorry if I am a bit more tired than usual, I just finished with ordering more inventory for the lounge and dealing with some paperwork.” Azul sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. You dropped your bags on one of the chairs of the VIP room and walked over slowly to your octomer boyfriend. Bringing your arms to his shoulders, you slowly begin to knead and massage his arms gently. Azul groaned at the contact, muscles aching.

“How is this, Azul? I know how hard you work, you deserve to take a break too, sometimes…” you spoke gently into his ear, kissing the shell of it. The contact gave him slight goosebumps. “Ah, I would love to but, I have so much more to do… I know it’s going to be a late night for me, so why don’t you head on to sleep?” You tsked, upset with his answer. “I know it’s late Azul, that’s why I’m here. You know, if you keep doing this you’ll get wrinkles, right?”

“Ahem! Well. Then, this might be a good place to stop if that’s the case…” Azul huffed, standing up quickly to retire to his room, you in tow.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim wants someone who is cheerful! They may not be a ray of sunshine like he is, but I honestly can’t picture him with someone smug/gloomy. Kalim might be dense but he isn’t THAT stupid. I think he would be able to notice if you were upset which makes him upset.

Someone who is down for anything, Kalim would love to take you on a ride on his magic carpet at random hours of the day so be prepared to drop whatever you’re doing if you want to appease your impulsive boyfriend!

A fun loving person for sure, who isn’t super self conscious about what people think. If he asks you to dance with him he would really love for you to join! He wouldn’t want you to say something like, “oh, but I’m a bad dancer…” Kalim would shake his head and ask you why you would say that! It’s all about having a fun time together, right?

A patient lover is what Kalim would want as well, someone who’s kind, too. At the end of the day when Kalim is ready to sleep after his crazy antics, he wants a partner he can be able to lay next to and feel like himself.

Someone who loves him even if he weren’t rich, Kalim would want someone for their personality and not materialistic things or beauty. Kalim sees someone for their heart ! (*´꒳`*)

You yawned heavily while rubbing your eyes. Was that a tapping noise coming from the window? “Ugh…. What time is it?” Checking your phone, you saw it was 1:30am. You also had a text from Kalim.

*tap tap tap*

You groggily walked over to the window and opened the curtains to see Kalim sitting on his magic carpet with the biggest grin upon seeing you. Opening the window, you giggled lightly. “Good evening Kalim, fancy seeing you here so late.”

“Hi, Y/N!! I woke up and felt bored so, you wanna join me on a night ride around campus?” Kalim practically beamed at you, even this late at night. His smile never failed to make your heart flutter. The boy’s positive energy also transferred to you, effectively waking you up.Stepping onto the carpet from your window was your answer. After getting situated, you kissed Kalim’s cheek and held his hand. “Of course Kalim, I would love to.”

Vil Schoenheit

Someone who can tough out his callous words and treatment. Vil might be a bit much, but the reason why he does this is because he does it with the goal of ultimately helping you. He only wants to see the best out of people, including but not limited to his little sweet potato!

Someone who is patient. He knows he checks who the most beautiful person is quite often and he doesn’t do it to annoy you, it’s just for his own personal validation issues. Lay a hand on his arm, back, or head to give him praises and let him know he’s beautiful to you no matter what.

Someone who is willing to pepper him lightly with kisses (not the face though, he has makeup on!). He definitely eats it up and loves it so much, he feels like you are treating him like a king. He’ll pay that back tenfold and give you beauty treatments, it’ll feel like you’re at the spa on a weekday!

Vil is constantly posting on Magicam, depending on whether you’re comfortable enough to be posted on there he would want to make sure you are okay with him constantly taking photos to be posted on there. Whether it be food you cooked, matching couples outfits, or even pictures of you without makeup, be ready to face comments of all sorts coming from his fans.

“Mira Mira on my phone… Currently, who is the most beautiful of all?” You heard Vil speak outside of his room. Currently you sat on the small chaise at the foot of his bed. Vil told you he needed to step out for a second, so you could get ready for bed now. After putting on your sleeping clothes, Vil finally came back in, seeming more irritated than before. His eyebrows furrowed and his body looked tense.

“Vil, are you alright?” You questioned him as you made your way to his bed, slipping under the covers. Vil only sighed and exchange a quick “Mm.” as he changed into his pajamas and came to join you. He was turned so his back was facing you and he was a bit distant. You knew he didn’t get the answer he wanted when he got those search results back. You didn’t know how to convince your boyfriend otherwise but you decided you needed to talk to him.

“Vil, darling…” you spoke gently as you nuzzled closer, your chest pressing into his back. Your arm wrapped around him to pull him closer, to which he responded with finally relaxing in your touch. “You’re one of the best things that’s happened to me, Vil, I don’t know if you realize how lucky I am to have such a loving, caring, and talented boyfriend like you. Your beauty is simply the cherry on top of the person I fell in love with. To me, you’re perfect. I love you.” You ended your tangent by placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder, dozing off.

You couldn’t see Vil but he trembled lightly as tears silently fell down his face. “Thank you… I love you too, my sweet potato.” Vil whispered into his pillow. With you, he always felt like the most beautiful person.

Idia Shroud

Personality wise, I don’t think Idia would be picky. He’s a shy person and honestly would be surprised he could get an S/O at all! So is Ortho!

Speaking of Ortho, Idia wants someone who is kind and loving to his little brother. Knowing his partner loves his brother would only make him fall for you harder!

Probably someone who would give Idia his own space until he finally felt comfortable and wanted to take it further, he would prob take a few days to even kiss you!!!

Idia wants someone to be his player 2 :) like actually, come over and game with him and he’ll probably be the happiest boy ever.

Big big bonus if you love anime, cosplay, gaming, etc. It’s one thing to be an otaku like Idia but when he has a partner to fully indulge in his interests with?? It’s a win-win situation for everyone! He wants to do a couple cosplay one day if he gets the courage to ask you.

Someone who won’t pressure him too much. If you remember how Riddle pressured Idia into trying to speak publicly, you know how much of a scary situation it put Idia in, even though he was able to do it. Stressing him out is just gonna make him unhappy :(

Someone who enjoys spending as much time inside as he does! I’m not talking a hikikomori but someone who wouldn’t be opposed to staying inside with him 99.9% of the time lol

“Y-Y/N-shi, would you like to g-go on a date with me soon?” Idia fumbled with his fingers, looking away as he asked you. You raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Idia, this is the first time you asked me to ‘go on a date’. Don’t tell me, are we actually going out somewhere?!”

“Eek! D-don’t be ridiculous, Y/N!!” He almost screeched the words out. Suddenly he pulled out a couple of VR headsets with hand controllers, and handed one to you. “Fuhehe, I just made a bunch of simulation locations. We could go to the park, a restaurant, even an amusement park..!” He grinned showing off his teeth.

You giggled at Idia’s enthusiasm, loving the way he gets after speaking about his own creations. “What a wonderful idea, Idia. Maybe we could take Ortho to the ‘amusement park’ too? We’ll be a big family.” You mused. Idia’s face brightened and a faint pink tinge covered his cheeks.

“F-family, huh? Ah, Y-Y/N-shi…. That would be n-nice…” Idia blushed as he considered what the future would bring for the both of you.

Malleus Draconia

Malleus would also mostly not have preferences on a person’s personality. Like, he wouldn’t say something like: “I want someone shy vs someone bold.” Anything his child of man does is interesting to him and he’s entranced by you!

That being said, Malleus would not tolerate rudeness, disrespect to him, Lilia, or his fellow dorm mates, etc. He may love you but he values those bonds more, especially Lilia’s and his grandmother’s.

Malleus wants someone who is willing to teach him human tendencies, since he is curious about them. Malleus will also probably never stop asking you about your life in the previous world, and listen passionately as you describe the hobbies you had, family members, etc.

As long as you continue to love and treat Malleus like a normal person and with kindness, he will continue to love you endlessly. He’s so unused to it that he will feel so special as you only coo in awe instead of fear away, if he showed you a magic trick or maybe donned more of his draconic features like his tail or long claws.

You walked with Malleus under the bright moonlight in the woods near Ramshackle dorm. His height and charm never failed to impress you. And his face, he was so very handsome. His striking green eyes always made you feel hypnotized and his horns were so well taken care of, you almost wanted to reach out and-

“Hm, Child of Man… you do know it’s quite rude to stare, yes?” Malleus chuckled and suddenly broke the silence, making you gasp. “Ah, sorry Tsunotarou. I-,” searching your thoughts, you just couldn’t think of anything quickly enough. “I just couldn’t help myself. You’re very attractive.” You murmured, admitting defeat.

“Oh? Do I not intimidate you, my dear? Usually humans and even other fae fear my features and tend to shy away…” Malleus looked down in thought as he continued walking. You wrapped yourself around one of his arms as he walked, effectively stopping him in his place. “Well, you don’t intimidate me! I like being around you, so, let’s keep it that way. I want to stay with you for a long time so don’t get too tired of me okay, Malleus?”

Hearing you say his given name only made the fae’s heart beat harder in his chest. Surely you knew what you did to him. He smiled down at you, green eyes softening in your gaze.

“I assure you I won’t, little human.”

[writingsbychlo]

💭

Ayyy Congrats Chlo! Can I get a 💭 of Noah when his girl is pregnant? Like how is he through it snd when she's in labor?

no more requests, the sleepover is over, I'm just finishing up what's in my inbox!

I got so carried away with this

he would be so good by the labour stage

but lets be real, he takes a hot minute to get adjusted

now, don't get me wrong, this was planned

and he is damn excited to be a dad

you've been taking folic acid and vitamin D and all the good stuff

and you were both elated and crying when the test came back positive

but he does take a moment to actually realise what it means

like he did not think that far through, if he's honest

rubbing your back throughout morning sickness

but like, he doesn't quite get it

you have a significantly lowered sex drive

breast tenderness and morning sickness and he is kinda sexually frustrated

it takes him a moment to adjust to that because y'all had been pretty active before, and he has to take care of himself now

not to mention, you're a lot more sleepy

he knew you'd get sleepy, but he expected it to come later, not as early in the pregnancy as the first few weeks

so there's a lot of things that have to be cancelled

like concerts and things

but he was looking forwards to them

and it causes some arguments to begin with

like when he went to the concert with boyd instead

and you'd put a blanket and pillow on the couch for him

or the argument that came with him insisting that he could ride the bike a little longer

and the little strop he gets in when you throw out all the foods on the list your midwife gave you after your first antenatal appointment

"you can't eat them, but I can! why do we have to throw it all out?"

"because you're supposed to be supporting me!"

"I am supporting you, but I still want to eat my food!"

"fine, keep it then!"

and he feels bad two weeks later when you go to game night

and derek and stiles have laid out an awesome looking spread

with charcuterie boards and cheeses and crackers and wine

and he knows how much you love all of that stuff

and you literally can't have any of it

in fact, you brought your own meal, which is a salad and plain crackers and it's not exactly game night material

and so he does some research into food and writes down everything you can and can't have

and he watches a video on best recipes for pregnancy and he makes one for you

a little surprise dinner for when you get home from work

"what's all this?"

"well, you know, your meals look kinda' miserable. but, you're literally growing our child, so you should get to eat nice things, and I googled a good recipe for pregnancy safe meals."

noah getting laid that night

and afterwards, when you're asleep on his chest, he realises how easy it is when he stops thinking it's gonna be a struggle

at around about 7 weeks, you start getting more emotional

crying more at movies and getting mad at random things and being a lot clingier than usual

which he doesn't mind, of course

but it freaks him out sometimes

"noah, what the fuck?" while in tears and he's freaking out because he has no idea how bad he fucked up or what he did "there's a dead bird in the garden, noah, that's got to be some kind of omen, oh my god, what if you die? why would you just die, noah?"

so he cleans up the dead bird

but now you're mad because you're worried about him abandoning you

"baby, if I was gonna' abandon you then why would I have married you, huh?"

and it takes him a hot minute to get used to that too

however, he also learns how to direct it at other people for his own amusement

"hey, baby, did you know that stiles wears socks to bed, even in the summer?"

"you wear socks to sleep in the summer? you're sick, stiles. you're sick. I don't want you near my child, you're weird, you and your socks and your sweaty toes can stay away. you're so gross."

"what the fuck?"

and noah just laughing his ass off about it

you also have to pee a lot more so noah has to take that into account

you're still fully able to go hiking and do the things the two of you love doing

but he has to plan in your pee breaks

not to mention, you're still throwing up every morning

so, he can't plan too much, but he does plan a little weekend getaway for you both

with a privately rented cabin so that you can throw up each morning in peace and don't feel like you're being watched

panicking when you get spotting at week 8

and that really throws you both through a loop

rushing to the hospital and he's unfamiliar with driving your car

so it stresses him out to know he's useless in emergencies

it turns out to be nothing

but noah is pretty sure he's never cried that hard

not to mention, in a public bathroom, just so he didn't scare you

and when he gets home, like, fuck, it's a reality check for him

he starts getting driving lessons

he has a license and all but he's rusty

and he wants to be prepared, so he starts taking lessons

he also starts checking out bigger cars for the two of you

because your little car won't do in a few years

"you know, not that I'm complaining, but I've noticed you aren't wearing bras anymore."

watching your cheeks go fucking warm as you get all embarrassed

"do you wanna go shopping, get some comfier ones?"

"you are gonna go pregnancy bra shopping with me?"

"well, considering how proud I am when I get to go regular bra shopping with you, I think pregnancy bra shopping is the same."

going with you to get tests and scans done

literally crying again when you hear the heartbeat

"we made that, oh my god."

texting everyone he knows when you get your due date estimate

holding your hands when you have to get your pregnancy vaccinations

actually taking notes when the midwife starts talking about making a birthing plan and getting things sorted before you get to the third trimester

and he does a lot of research on birthing plans and starts prepping

going on every shopping trip with you

"I want to get the nursery painted, like, a while before the baby comes. so we can air it out for fumes."

"we can go check samples out this weekend."

"well, I mean, that's soon, like, really?"

"yeah, whatever you want, sunshine."

getting laid again

and when the morning sickness goes away, he starts getting his late morning sleep back

starting to get self-conscious about extra pregnancy weight gain

and noah doing everything he can to reassure you

but as you get into the second trimester, your sex drive suddenly jumps back up

and he fucking loves it

because that's a lot of unprotected sex and a lot of making out and a lot of touching

and honestly, something about it is really turning him on

"baby, I don't know if it's your glow or the fact that I am literally so in love with you, or maybe the months of not having sex, but I've literally never been this hard."

"shut up and fuck me, you can compliment me later."

"'kay."

throughout your second trimester, you get everything done

the nursery gets decorated and the furniture is built and it's perfect

there's only the little touches now, like mobiles and clothes and such

he also bought the new car, and traded yours in

and he arranged for you to get lessons in it too, so you know how to drive a bigger car before you get too pregnant to drive safely

crying the first time the baby moves. so much fucking crying.

and getting so excited every time

it's few and far between in the middle of your second trimester, but it's so meaningful

starting to go to pregnancy classes

and he also signs you both up for a pregnancy exercise class

that is supposedly meant to make labour easier because of the pelvic floor exercises

having a few days where you're nervous around him

thinking he did something wrong

"I think I'm gonna want to take an epidural."

"that's what you've been so worried about?"

"well, yeah. I read all these pamphlets about how it's so controversial and sometimes the dads don't like it, an-"

"I want you to be happy, okay? it's gonna be a happy time, so whatever you want, we'll do, okay? I want you to smile when you look back on the birth of our baby."

"I love you, so damn much."

"I love you so damn much."

finding out the sex of the baby, neither of you wants to wait

telling everyone it's a secret until the baby shower

your bump really starting to come in at the end of the second trimester

as well as headaches and backaches and stretch marks

and noah always making sure to kiss it better

a lot of nice warm baths and washing your hair for you

the baby starts responding to touch and sound, though

noah starts talking to the baby a lot

telling them about your day and rubbing lotion on your stomach

the baby getting hiccups for the first time

in the beginning of the second trimester, you start choosing names

more tears when you settle on a name

the third trimester is where you really start feeling it

you’ve got mood swings, you’ve got backache, and you’re getting a lot of odd cravings

all of which noah indulges for you

some make him gag and he actually cannot watch you eat it

banning food in bed

it caused an argument but he won that one

announcing the gender at your baby shower

you and noah dressing in white while waiting for everyone’s guesses

it’s a girl!

you announced it via a little cake cutting ceremony that was pink inside

using those last few weeks to decorate the nursery with teddies and buy clothes

when you finally go into labour it’s actually while you’re hanging out with stiles and derek

thinking it’s just cramps for a while

because you’ve been having cramps, you think it’s fine

until

“uh, (Y/N), you know I love you, but did you pee on my couch?”

“excuse me, I did not pee on your couch an- oh my god, they’re contractions.”

noah literally choking on his drink

you rubbing his back as he tries to cough it up

panicking so much that his whole fucking birthing plan goes out of the window

“the bag is at home!”

“what about your pillow?”

“fuck! fuck! fuck!”

derek is the only calm one because stiles is;

“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE AN UNCLE, GIMME A NEICE!”

and noah is 

“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE A FATHER!”

so derek coordinates it all while you just kinda sit there and watch it all

“okay, well, her contractions are now, like, eight minutes apart, so maybe we should get a move on.”

telling stiles to take you to the hopsital while he takes noah to pick everything up

and off you go

stiles is fucking buzzing the whole way there

calling your hospital to inform them you’re on your way

getting to the hospital and being greeted by your midwife

“lovely to see you again, mom and dad”

“I DIDN’T MAKE THAT.”

“thanks, stiles.” your midwife being confused. “this is the uncle, they’re twins. dad is on his way.”

“I’M THE UNCLE!”

“stop shouting stiles, the baby won’t come out, you’re scaring it back up.”

“sorry.”

stiles holding your hand

noah arriving five minutes later with more than enough stuff

“I didn’t know which pjs you’d want after so I brought options!”

after a good few hours of labour, and noah being there for all of it, your baby is born

literally crashing right after and sleeping for a while

“‘bout fuckin time you woke up, noah won’t let me see my niece ‘til you have. hurry up.”

“I will punch you so hard you’ll be glad you’re in a hospital.”

“that’s my wife”

“sorry.”

meeting your daughter with noah, and having a moment

because he’s put her in a little pink striped onesie and she’s got a baby beanie on

“she’s got your nose.”

“you can’t tell that, she’s like six hours old.”

“i can hope.”

finally taking her to meet stiles who practically dies on the spot

he cries a lot when he finally gets to hold his niece

“stiles, derek, meet ‘hope claudia stilinski’.”

[too-much-sunshine]

Fangs for the Hospitality

Chapter 3

Summary: After Roman leaves his family reunion mad at Remus, his car breaks down. The huge snow storm forces him into the forest hes always been told to stay away from as a child. Who will he meet? And why are they being so nice? Most importantly, why are his teeth so sharp?

A/N: My self-indulgent magic/vampire fic! Let me know if I need to tag something or you wanna be tagged!

Relationship: Familial DAM, Eventual Roceit, Eventual Intrulogical

Warnings (per chapter): Panic attack, self-deprecation (Roman), and being quite confused (also Roman)

Word Count: 2817

Catch up!: Master list, Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Read on AO3!

The door slowly creaked open to reveal a small face with large peering eyes. The child only opened the door enough to see their face, and small hands wrapped around the edge. They seemed to be only 7 or 8 years old. There was so much curiosity in their wide eyes.

“Hello! I’m Patton. Who are you?” The small child asked, still hidden mostly by the door.

“H-h-e-ell-o m-m-my-y n-n-ame iss R-roman. I n-need sssome h-help.” Roman slurred, swaying back and forth in place.

“Patton! Close that door right now!” An older sounding voice yelled from further in the house. Roman thought he also heard some frantic footsteps as well.

This “Patton” turned around, opening the door more, and yelled back into the house.

“But dad! This guy said he needs help! He can't talk right! I wanna help him!!” As Patton said this they opened the door the rest of the way and wrapped their arms around Romans waist.

Roman could no longer comprehend what was going on really. He was quite sure if he stayed standing any longer, he would finally pass out. He couldn't feel anything anymore, which was probably bad. Everything felt like it was slow motion as another face showed up through the door. It seemed like this new person was trying to talk to him but everything sounded like it was underwater.

His vision was definitely getting worse. He tried to blink away the dark ring around what he was seeing, but everything was getting too heavy. He was feeling very, very light headed. With the last of his consciousness he pulled a few words together.

“I-i-im s-s-sor-ry-y.” and everything went black.

~~~

The world came back to Roman very slowly. He felt warm. So, so warm. He was glad he made it home. He vaguely remembered that his car had broken down at one point. The weird part was that he didn't remember how or when he had gotten home. But he did remember being very cold, and now he's not.

With his eyes still closed Roman shuffled around a bit. He was feeling more relaxed in the warmth around him then he remembers feeling in a long time. He let out a contented sigh, burrowing into the blankets around him further. The bed was so soft.

Wait.

He didn't own a bed. He slept on a couch, with a scratchy wool blanket. And last he checked his heater was broken. What was going on?

There was a small chuckle to the left of him that surely did not help his confusion and trepidation. It did help to raise his heart rate though. Slowly Roman opened his eyes to see a dark bedroom. He could see a flicker of light to the right of the bed he was still lying in. It seemed like a lit fireplace, which was adding heat and light to the room.

After blinking around trying to garner his surroundings, Roman realized all he was really looking at was the dark ceiling. He tried to push to sit up in the bed to see around more. But this proved to be much harder than he was originally anticipating. He still felt very weak. What happened?

“I wouldn't suggest that darling, you are still recovering from being frozen solid.” A voice from his left stated, causing Roman to startle back against the bed. He had completely forgotten there was someone else in the room. His breathing and heart started to speed up significantly more, freezing in place. The voice chuckled again.

To say Roman was scared would be a bit of an understatement. He didn't know where he was, how he got here and who was talking to him. Though at the moment he was sure he couldn't speak back anyway.

Finally the owner of the voice from the left came into view. They walked over to peer over Roman on the bed. Roman heart was beating out of his chest as looked back at the person above him. He stayed frozen. He was pretty sure he didn't know who this person was. Which definitely made this situation worse since he was in a house he didn't know, with a person he didn't know.

In the dark room it was quite hard to make out any definite features of them. They looked to be shorter than Roman, and a little leaner too. Which Roman distantly heard a voice that sounded like his mother say that wasn't hard to pull off with his slightly thicker size. This person also had darker hair and a slim face.

They gazed at Roman and searched his face, which Roman was sure just showed his fear. The stranger seemed to have some pity on him as they backed up and finally spoke.

“Well aren't you a pretty little thing? Showed up right at my doorstep.” They said with a smirk.

Roman felt his face grow a bit warmer. This person was just making Roman more and more confused as time went on. He opened his mouth to respond to find he couldn't speak a word. The words got caught in his throat and he couldn’t make a sound. This wasn't the first time this had happened, nor the most inconvenience. But it was still quite embarrassing. Roman tried to speak again but only ended up looking like a fish out of water.

This happened when Roman was too anxious. So much so to where he just shuts down. It happened quite a bit as a child, especially after getting yelled at for a while. Or after he would freak out too much. Remus and him had even learned a bit of sign language to help him during these times. Sadly this still happens actually quite often to the poor stage hand. He was surprised he lasted as long as he did at the party.

The party! That's right he was at a party! Then he...left? Maybe? Why did he leave? And that still doesn't answer where he is… How did he get here then?

Seeming to realize that Roman was a bit lost in thought, they spoke up again, breaking Roman out of his own dissociation.

“Cat got your tongue? That's alright I can get you something to write with. One moment please.” And with that the stranger walked out of the room.

Roman took this time to try and calm his racing heart.

‘Its okay. It's okay! This is fine Roman...just breathe...They would have hurt you by now if they wanted to…’ Roman thought to himself over and over. ‘Do that thing Remus taught you. Look for five things...was it five things or six? I don't know! I’m fucked! I’m going to die and no one will know where I am and..and...and…’ Romans breathing got worse as he tried and failed to calm himself down.

Tears were starting to gather in his eyes as he started to hyperventilate. He realized that he was having a panic attack but he was too far gone to help himself.

‘You really deserve this dumbass. You're the one who got lost or something!’ Roman kept thinking to himself as he continued to breathe too much. Tears were streaming down his face, and he couldn't even move his arms enough to wipe them away.

Just as his vision was going a bit dark around the edges the door opened back up again. Distantly Roman realized that a person was in the room which really didn't help his panicky state. There were only two people in the world that wouldn't make him worse when he was in this state. He tried to back up in the bed but he was too weak to even move more than an inch.

“Hey hey hey it's alright. I’m not going to hurt you. Calm down.” The stranger said as they slowly walked to the side or Romans bed. “I’m going to help you okay. Listen to my voice. Breathe in for me. Breathe in for four seconds. Come on it's okay try again. There ya go, hold for seven second. Now release for eight. There you go, let's do it again.” They kept speaking in a soft murmur guiding Roman though the exercise.

Once Roman seemed to be breathing a bit better, the stranger spoke up again.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, we are not used to having visitors around here. Here is the pen and paper, let me help you sit up a bit.” They said softly.

Roman was still freaking out a bit, so he was having trouble putting a full sentence together. He nodded his head anyway so he would finally be able to sit up and look around. Once he was finally sat up the stranger placed the pen and notebook in his lap, looking pointedly at Roman.

“I think you are just as confused as I am. So how about we go back and forth asking questions okay?” They asked. Roman nodded, signally for the stranger to start. “Okay, who are you?” They asked.

My name is Roman Prince.

   Where am I?

“Hello Roman. You are currently in the guest room of my house. The house itself is in the... forest. How did you get here Roman?”

As they spoke they seemed a bit reluctant to give out the information. This did not help Romans nerves about the whole situation. He felt this person was being very nice, and for what reason? He wasn't used to free kindness.

I

Roman paused his shaky writing, not knowing how to answer the question he was asked. How did he get here?

I don’t know… I was at a family reunion in the countryside. Then I left because...I don't remember...and then my car broke down and now I’m here. Which i'm sorry about. I didn't mean to interrupt or impose I can go if you want me too.

Roman showed the journal to the stranger, who looked at it confused.

“You do know there is about 3 feet of snow outside right now right? Even if I wanted you out, I couldn't let you in good conscious. You'd freeze to death. Well...again.” They said.

Wait.

I froze to death?

Roman wrote, significantly more pale than before.

“Ah ah that's two questions in a row, but I’ll answer. You did not literally freeze to death sweetie. You are very much alive. During the storm you showed up on my doorstep confusing it for death's door. My...son was a bit too friendly with you and you passed out right as I came to the door. Sorry if he scared you. He's not used to people coming to the door. But after you fainted I took you inside. You were hypothermic and soaked to the bone, so I decided to warm you up. Lucky I did because as soon as I took you in, the snow started back up again. You're lucky I’m nice, not everyone in these woods would have done the same.” They warned. “Now it's my turn. How old are you darling?

Man what was with all these pet names? Roman was starting to breathe funny again and this time he wasn't quite sure why.

I’m 25. Why?

“Really? You don't look a day over 20.” They smirked at Roman as his face started to heat up again. “My my you are quite easy to fluster.”

A bit flustered Roman started to write back quicker than before.

My family would disagree about my looks, but thank you I guess. But you didn't answer my question. Why ask about my age?

“I just wanted to make sure your parents were looking for their lost child.” They smirked.

Roman gave a small smile back at that.

Even if I was that young, I can guarantee she wouldn't come looking for me.

The stranger was giving Roman an odd look while reading what he'd written. It made Roman realize that they were on the topic of himself for too long. He wanted to change the subject to literally anything else. Most people didn't like when he talked about himself and his family. He always over shared and drove everyone off.

Sorry. I think I got off track talking about myself. Sorry, I tend to talk too much. Where is your son?

The stranger gave him a slightly concerned look, clearly noticing the change of subject, but gracefully let it slide as they answered the question.

“It's okay hon, I did ask about you after all. Anyway, which one son do you have in mind? I've got two. But I’ll assume you mean the one you met. Patton should be sleeping right now. It is the middle of the night.”

At that Roman blanched. How long had he been here? Ruining this poor person's night and probably next day. Even their poor kid was involved in his mess.

I’m so sorry. You should be asleep too not worrying about me. I’m so sorry.

Roman fanatically wrote to the kind stranger. They seemed a bit confused by his sudden change in pace.

“No no, it's fine. I don't sleep much anyway... “

Still I’m sorry that I’m here. I was just so lost I didn't have a phone and couldn't stay in my car so I decided to go into the woods after seeing the light of your house.

“It seems you've picked up a bit of your memory. Barring the fact there no way you should have been able to see my house from the road, if I didn't want to help you I wouldn't have. It's okay for you to be here. Okay?”

It's not okay though. I shouldn't be here imposing here taking up your space. I’ll leave as soon as you want me too.

The stranger seemed to be taken a bit back. They paused and looked passed Roman, lost in thought. After Roman started thinking that maybe he should just stop talking forever and leave through the window, they finally spoke up again.

“What if I want you to stay here?” They asked, still not looking completely at Roman.

Roman froze, very confused by the question. Stuntingly he wrote a very elegant response.

I- what?

“Hon, I don't want you to leave yet. You can't even walk yet. It's okay for you to take up space. Besides it might be nice to talk to someone who isn't less than 8 years old. Will you at least stay till morning?”

Roman looked into the strangers face as he finished speaking, his eyes starting to sing a bit. Nobody had ever wanted him around before. This random stranger was getting weirder by the minute. After a moment Roman wrote back.

As long as I’m welcome I’ll stay if you want... Who are you?

“Oh where are my manners! My name is Janus, it's a pleasure to meet you Roman.” Janus smiled at Roman in the dim light, the little light there was reflecting on their sharp canines. Romans eyes widened a bit, then he squinted to try and see better in the dark room. It didn't help.

“Why don't you try and get more sleep Roman. I’ll bring you something to eat in the morning to gain your strength back. If you need me, call me. I’ll hear you.” They started to walk to the door when they paused. “And Roman, I trust that you keep to your room. This house is quite old, don't want you getting hurt anymore then you already are. Goodnight!” Then they finally walked out of the room.

‘What did I just get myself into? I must be tired...I think I’m starting to see things that aren't there...’ Roman thought as he shimmied back into sheets.

Roman closed his eyes, not realizing how tired he was until he was laying down again. He was asleep again within minutes of Janus’ departure, slipping away into pleasant, warm dreams.

~~~

Janus closed the door behind himself as he walked out of the room. He let the friendly smile he was carrying before slip off his face, replacing it with a small scowl. He pressed his back against the door and listened until he was sure Roman had fallen back asleep.

Maybe he got himself into more than he should have. But he couldn't just let this guy walk away after being able to walk into the woods. Plus he looked to be dead on his feet.

Janus let out a sigh and spoke a small incantation under his breath. The guest door glowed a soft yellow around the edges, signifying that the spell had worked. The door was now not locked, but would let Janus know if anyone opened the door.

With that Janus walked down the hall leaving the man to his sleep. He's gonna have a lot of work and paperwork to fill out with this one.

~~~

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@primaveradoodles

[hyliansnsfwblog]

What do you think gaster’s kinks are?

okokok i put off answering this for too long bc ITS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION i wanted 2 giv a longer response bc,,, my good sir w. d. gaster is REALLY into some things that sometimes make sans (or whoever his partner is) probably a Little nervous at times loL

(response is somewhat ns /fw so it’s going under the cut for ppl who are 18+   ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ )

for one, gaster is a HUGE sadist.  like he looooves causing pain and seeing the effects of it, and i say this across almost all interpretations of him.  like in the experiment au (referring to the one i write bc there are endless interpretations of experiment AUs lol) obviously he Loves causing sans pain and goes out of his way to do so, sometimes even outside of planned tests/experiments.  in the vampire gaster AU, even if it's a Good version of gaster, if his instinct takes over while he's feeding and he notices the person he's feeding from is in pain/starts to struggle against him, it makes it Harder for him to stop himself and regain control of his actions bc the Literal Predator in him enjoys the pain he causes :'D.  and fiNALLY if it's a more Normal version of gaster where he's a sweetheart, he still,,, secretly likes it, but ofc he only indulges in it in consensual contexts in that case lol, and he also feels a lil bit self-conscious about it.  (i know you didn't ask for sanster headcanons lol but) sans totally loves indulging gaster's sadistic side, and will really play up any sort of pain gaster causes him 'cause he knows gaster loves it so much.  afterwards there's definitely times where gaster gets like REALLY self-conscious about being a sadist because a part of him can't deny that he's Really Concerned about Just How Much he loved seeing sans in so much pain oOPS but luckily he's a sweetheart with self-control so it's not like it ever becomes a problem (at least pre-DT before he loses his sanity but hey *casually inserts link to Fool Me Once here* that's another discussion right)

kind of going along with the sadism here But More Intensely Perhaps, i feel like gaster's really into CNC ("consensual non-consent") roleplay, but he's always certain that his partner is well-aware of how to stop him, and probably makes sure there are Multiple safe words/signals to get him to stop.  of course if gaster is Not a sweetheart/Normal Person, this is a lot more fucked up because he doesn't care about the "consensual" part,,, see also: experiment AU ᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ

idk if it counts as A Kink exactly but size differences are another thing he Appreciates A Lot, like,,, not the extremeness of macro/micro so much as He Enjoys Being Naturally Twice Sans’ Size :’D and I knoW IM talkin abt things I Write Specifically a bit here, buT.  experiment!sans in particular is much Smaller than sans usually is (he’s a full-grown adult but gaster,,,  does not feed him well enough.  and the trauma he goes through means his soul is a lot weaker than a Normal sans’ would be, so his soul wouldn’t be able support a larger body either way 😭) and gaster from that au Loves how small he is and how that makes him feel like he has even More power over him ;~; BUT him enjoying his Size Advantage is true with all gasters, just in other cases its more Healthy than in the experiment AU i write about :’D

off-handedly i’m also gonna say i feel like probably Some Versions Of Gaster have a bit of a daddy kink (both ways actually, being called and calling someone), but personally that’s not a kink i’m too compfy with so i don’t think on it much and don’t rly include that in what i write usually  ᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ

ANYWAYS tht is all i can think of for this rn, this was a great ask thank u i cherished it

[councilestatebarbie]

can i be annoying and ask for the same thing you did for sid with shawn mendez ? thats rhe first atrology write up ive read that actually makes sense to me like you wrote it in a way i understand. Im interested in shawns chart but everything is confusing so if you have time could you plssssss do a write up for shawns chart? thanj you :)

(note that his rising is only actually libra if his birth time is actually around noon idk anything about him so i’m just going off of info ive been told / found)

leo suns obvs have a reputation of being full of themselves but tbh they’re just self-aware. they’re rly hardworking and mostly motivated by the ppl around them - if they have a specific affection for someone / something they’re gonna do all they can for them / it. they can come across as kinda lazy at times (duh they’re lions) but once you get them going, they’re determined to keep going. they can be pretty traditional (as they’re a fixed sign) and are fiercely loyal when they form connections, so they’d rather work something through for a long while than give up and move on. and although they have that reputation for being overly confident n self absorbed they’re usually really humble and tend to blame themselves when things go wrong -- they’re pretty self conscious and self aware.

sun opposing moon people tend to struggle with their needs and wants, and their indecisiveness results in a lack of focus when they decide on one tour they are often pulled in another direction bc they are always aware of the opposite view, they tend to question their stance a lot

sun conjunct mercury ppl are usually rly intelligent n great communicators - they’re v prideful of their intellect, but they can be not as great listeners as they are speakers bc they’ll be thinking of what to say next. and although they like expressing themselves they tend to not dominate or be v active in conversations bc of this. though when they do speak it may bruise their ego if they feel criticised or pushed aside. also tend to be p animated speakers 

sun opposing uranus means they have a strong sense of personal freedom so it can be hard to get them to do something they aren't particularly interested in. it can be hard for them to maintain routines and often work in spurts, so when they’re having a creative burst they put everything into it, but when they’re not in that creative space it can be hard for them to put much effort into things

aquarius moons can be p sociable but are natural loners, n bc of this they tend to feel like they don't fit in. they also will reject any negative qualities / emotions they possess in order to appear / feel above things which they consider to be more trivial. n when this gets too outta hand is when they come across as aloof and detached. they’re rly tolerant in personal relationships tho - they give a lot of independence and enjoy kinda ‘weird’ behaviour that others might not. they’re a fixed sign too so they’re less flighty than other air signs, n in the long haul prefer things to be more constant, but can be unreliable where the little things in life are concerned.

moon in 10th house people are rly family orientated n like to stay at home a lot. they also usually have strong maternal influences. they might also move around a lot or change up the insides of their homes bc they’re looking for a place to really belong.

moon trine lilith people have an affinity for romantic and sexual relationships, and come come across as charming and intriguing.

moon trine ascendant ppl are good family influences and have good family influences in return, they love giving back. they also love change and travelling, and they’re rly open to other people, and love personal contact.

leo mercuries are good, natural problem solvers. they’re usually rly friendly and positive figures, n can be rly charming w how warm they are. they’re amazing speakers - enthusiastic, sincere, authoritative. but bc they can be authoritative they can come across too strongly sometimes.

mercury in 10th house means the most important things to them are the feelings of home and comfort. they're also smart with languages and can attract careers surrounding language.

venus in cancer tend to be quite sensitive in love. they show their love by caring for you, and paying close attention to your behaviours and feelings more than things you actually say to them. though they can be p moody and give silent treatment etc if they don't keep their moods in check. they love sentimentality and are turned off by affections that feel too impersonal and generalised. they need to feel confident and content w you bc of how attached they are to their family and home.

venus in 9th house people tend to find love with people abroad / not from their home, and they feel v happy abroad. they’re attracted to ppl from different cultural backgrounds, and they like partners who have a sense of adventure and enthusiasm.

venus opposite neptune means they may lack self confidence and are generally easy going - they might let their partner take initiative and just follow suit more than not. these placements are also often in love with love, very compassionate, and will usually go above and beyond for those they love. 

venus square ascendent means they may indulge in things they find pleasure in excessively, and be surrounded by company that is questionable to others. they may also come across differently themselves than they may initially be perceived. 

venus conjunct midheaven brings a very affectionate nature and close relationships w their friends. their friends may be important to their careers in some way. they also tend to have good reputations in their careers and are well-liked for what they do.

cancer mars ppl can be v passive aggressive and try to avoid direct confrontations. they tend to be pretty protective and use this as a way to turn ppl on sometimes, also they can be particularly turned on by the idea of having a baby lmao

cancer opposing neptune is a challenging placement. they have a hard time being direct and proactive with what they want, and they can feel like they aren't entirely deserving of what they do what bc of low self confidence. they fear rejection and criticism. they have strong imaginations and as much as they imagine the ways in which things go wrong they also use it to imagine their ideal scenarios and other good things. they’re likely to fantasise and experiment quite a bit sexually and can be into things others may consider to be weird or taboo. bc of their fears of criticism and inadequacy, they will either go in complicated, roundabout ways to achieve what they want, or will actively seek out situations in which they're almost guaranteed positive feedback and praise

[inyoursheets]

writer asks

tagged by the wonderful @bourbon-ontherocks, @mego42 and sorta by @sothischickshe whose attempt to tag me made me laugh 

ao3 name: 

nomind. im not even sure why at this point

fandoms: 

ive only published good girls fics on ao3, but there may or may not still be some terribly written unfinished hp fics (probably x reader) made by thirteen y/o me floating about online somewhere.

number of fics: 

i keep thinking the answer is like, three, but it’s actually five. that’s how memorably my fics are lmao

fic i spent the most time on: 

oh, for sure my latest, warm water. ive never spent this much time plotting, editing, thinking things over. as evidenced by the rest of the fics ive published lol

fic i spent the least amount of time on:

i thought it was maybe the spanking fic but that one actually sat unfinished in my drafts for a long time now that i think about it, bc it wasn’t gonna get its own fic, it was supposed to be part of chapter two of the never have i ever fic . i think it was how do i even... say that? bc once i knew what i was trying to say with it, it got real easy to write, but im not sure! 

most hits:

this is so funny bc i had no idea -- i expected the answer to be warm water, but that one is just barely third, almost fourth! the winner is actually my super self-indulgent never have i ever fic that i can’t believe so many people fuck with, some time in your sheets

most kudos:

now that one is warm water

most comment threads:

also warm water! and everyone is so sweet! but also so frustrated! which is very fair haha, im frustrating myself by writing this tbh. but i think the frustration is gonna be worth it. i hope?

most bookmarks:

once again, warm water

highest total word count:

warm water and im very excited about the fact that i've only published like, half, and i still have to write a couple of scenes, some of which i expect to be pretty girthy. im so happy i finally managed to start a (proper) multi-chapter fic.

favourite fic i wrote:

i think either how do i even... say that? bc the subject matter matters to me and actually grew out of my own need to process some things -- verbalizing what you want during sex is scary ok! -- and i think people also took it that way? there have been some really kind comments on it, specifically about the message i was trying to convey/stumbled upon while writing, so that is wonderful! i actually never responded to any of those comments bc i suddenly got self-conscious about author comment etiquette and im thinking it would look weird to do so now, but i am really surprised and humbled by them!

 or warm water for reasons im not gonna go into until ive finished it, but yeah, it gets a special place in my heart, too, trust me on that. it also unfolded in such a great way as i was writing it, it really took a different turn from what i had originally planned out, which has been such an interesting process and it really made me feel joy to be writing again, you know? when characters/scenes just sorta take over? so it’s been definitely the most enjoyable to write i’d say. but also the least haha, which makes it so special.

fic i want to rewrite/expand on:

i feel like my very first fic could lend itself pretty easily to being expanded and becoming a proper AU, it would be pretty hassle-free to continue, but i don’t know if that’s a path i wanna go down. maybe some time in your sheets bc i did weave in that they’d been fucking regularly and i kinda liked their dynamic there, but my goodness, it’s so plotless! all my smut fics are so plotless! technically even the spanking fic could like, get another chapter of more spanking, but what would be the point? 

maybe how do i even... say that? would be the most interesting to continue, to see how beth learns how to vocalize her wants and needs in bed, how she grows in that, but idk if i am equipped to write such a thing. hmm. im gonna think about it, after i finish the beast that is warm water.

share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on:

so ive got some dialogue between beth and stan sitting in my drafts bc i love a beth/stan friendship, but it didn’t fit in anything else i wrote, nor will it fit with an AU like warm water. im excited to use it one day, not bc the dialogue is any good (it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if literally none of the actual dialogue ever makes it to the actual fic) but i love the vibe in that scene. they discuss d*nsie, so unfortunately that fic must include that douche canoe, so that’s sad

what i also have is a barely-there rough draft/idea for a beth/rio/rhea threesome fic (mostly inspired by one particular sex position i wanna see them in) that is gonna take a while to actually write bc as @foxmagpie has pointed out it’s really hard to try and make that not be completely ooc, and i think im not gonna start until finish warm water.

and that’s that! im tagging @missmaxime @fairhairedkings @sothischickshe (who i now realize probably already did this?) and @sdktrs12 if you feel like it!

[lieblingspulli]

Yes Your Majesty

a/n: Ah! Here’s my self-indulgent story about how Paterson met his future wife (in my head they are a poet and a book store clerk/ keeper pair)! I love the idea of them properly meeting at a Halloween party or something really cute. Enjoy! I might make this a multi-chapter thing.  <3

wc: 1.9k 

Summary: Paterson finds that one cute woman from the bookstore and they have a fun time. Unknowingly meets his future wife. Fem(y/n)

Masterlist!

“I just feel like it’s a little overboard.” 

Paterson felt unsure about this whole situation. Just because he saw a cute bookstore clerk at the local store did not mean it was an invitation to be all gussied up and dramatic about it. Right? Yea, Halloween was time to dress up and all, but it seemed a little out of his element. Especially to draw attention from someone he had just met. 

“What? No. It’s perfect.”

“But… It’s… um, I don’t know. It stands out?”

“That’s the point. It’s supposed to draw attention.” 

Marie had invited herself to help Paterson get ready for tonight’s costume party at the bar after he mentioned meeting someone interesting at the store. After everything, he seemed a little less lonely when he talked to her and it felt nice for a change. That's at least what he told Marie one night. She thought it would be best to catch her attention, in a big way. Paterson did not like big ways. Or attention. Not anymore. He just wanted to be left alone to write and read with no distraction. That’s what he wanted so bad and it led him right to this clerk. 

“I still don’t know about this.” He looked incredulously at his costume then at Marie. This was not what he had in mind. He’d rather be on the couch writing poetry or reading a classic. Or rereading. That was totally fine too. Being at the bar on a night like this meant having to socialize and do friend stuff. It just didn’t feel right.

“It’s fine. You’ll be fine. It’s only for one night.” Says the girl who’s going as a witch, thought Paterson. He deeply inhaled and exhaled. Oh god, why did it never cease? He could turn back now. He could just say no. Right now, no. He could take everything off and just say, actually I don’t feel like it. Or, no thanks, you go on without me. It was so tempting to think about. This was uncomfortable and not even in Paterson’s range. It didn’t feel right. He could feel the anxiety of talking to someone new and he just wanted to crawl in bed. Paterson wished Marvin was still here to give him the excuse, aw no thanks, I actually have to take care of my sick dog. 

“I hope you’re satisfied with this.” 

Paterson immediately regretted the words that just tumbled out of his mouth. This was going to be a really long night. Are costume parties even long? How do people stay in costumes all night? Was he going to come home early enough to be in bed on time? What was he even thinking, he’s a grown man, bedtimes don’t even exist. This was more stressful than it had to be. 

“Thank you! I was hoping you would say yes.” 

“I’m still not so sure about it though.”

“Come on, let’s go before you change your mind.” Paterson gathered his keys and wallet before heading out with Marie and meeting up with another of her friends. He walked behind them. 

The whole walk over there, Paterson was a nervous wreck. He didn’t even know if she was going to be there. Again, Paterson just hated the prospect of being there. If he was her, he wouldn’t even bother. 

By the time they reached the front door, he was almost prepared for what the night had in store and by the guesses of it, no. He was not going to bed at a reasonable time. The whole bar was decorated with crazy orange pumpkins. There was an old couple handing out candy outside. They probably didn’t want to be in the middle of a crowded bar tonight. Maybe Doc asked them to. Children were passing by in their little mermaid costumes and Scream masks. Grown adults were walking in the bar in costumes that left little to the imagination. Paterson felt uneasy as he opened the door and walked into literal chaos. 

He had to close the door and walk back out to take a deep breath. This can’t be as hard as it seems. Not to a regular person. So it won’t be. Paterson frowned and walked back in with a little more confidence and observed the surroundings. 

Doc’s bar had transformed into a haunted buffet with themed food and drinks. It was a bar after all, so there were martinis with eyeballs, beer served in skeleton cups and shot jellos the color of blood. How amusing. The lights changed colors from red, to green and then blue. Everyone seemed to be dancing already and having a blast. There were a couple of people sitting at the actual bar, the rest were up and at it. 

Paterson suddenly didn’t feel as self-conscious anymore because here he was in the middle of a very large group of people dressed as ghouls and goblins. It was almost like living in Halloweentown. God he loved that movie. 

As he sat down at the quite possibly furthest seat from all the action (which was really hard because the bar itself was tiny) Paterson picked up a skeleton head and checked it. Just in case. He took a sip and deemed it okay because this was Doc’s bar after all and everyone here had to be over college age. The barley taste soothed his palette as he smiled when a mummy sat next to him and ate an eyeball. He nodded and the mummy nodded back. 

He had lost Marie and the others almost instantaneously when they walked in so it was only him. Me, myself, and I, Paterson thought. As usual. 

Paterson knew he couldn’t keep drinking when he finished this cup so now was big decision time. He also knew everyone was in costumes so his so-called “mission” as dubbed by Marie, was probably getting thrown out the window. How could he possibly know who the clerk was? He didn’t even know her name. That made Paterson look down in a sort of shame. Here he was trying to find this woman, he didn’t know anything about her except that she worked at the Lovegood Bookstore on the corner of Maple and Monroe avenue. In the middle of a costume party, that was worth less than a dust bunny.

 Paterson frowned deeply and downed the last of his beer. Maybe this was kind of useless and embarrassing. If he left now, no one would notice. No one would say, “Hey Paterson! Where are you going? Gonna miss all the fun?” No one would care. He wasn’t going to dance anyway. A tall, lanky man like him couldn’t dance, even if he tried. As Paterson made the mental decision to just leave the party, someone tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up. 

“Hey! Aren’t you that guy I saw the other day at my store?” The stranger giggled and kept her hand on his shoulder. Paterson blinked. 

He managed to stammer out, “Hey, maybe.” It was the best he could do, she was all giggly and probably drunk. Ah, a drunk red queen of hearts. Magnificent. “It looks like the mad hatter could use a madly good time! Drink?” 

The red queen giggled as Paterson smiled and hesitantly took the cup, being careful to not offend her by not drinking out of it. He answered dramatically, “Thank you, your majesty.” Paterson laughed at his own Alice in Wonderland reference. He duly noted not to do that again in front of a girl. She started to laugh uncontrollably at his reference. She understood it? Surprisingly she remembered it in all her glorious drunk state. Her red heart lipstick was kind of smudged from drinking. 

“Well if my mad hatter won’t be mad about the drink at least tell me your name.” She sat in the stool next to him. Paterson’s brain started to swim, this was overwhelming. He smiled and kindly answered in a really bad British accent, “Paterson, at your majesty’s request.” She giggled and huffed a fake breath. 

“I could never say off with your head, let’s dance shall we?” She was getting smooth with the references. “Wait.” Paterson mentally kicked himself. Wait? What was he gonna ask her? Something deep? Jesus man. 

The red queen swiveled around from her already starting position and stared at him with a smile. She waited for a reply. 

Out with it Paterson, you got this. “I don’t even know your name.” 

“You don’t remember me? Im (y/n), from the bookstore.” 

The bookstore? The bookstore! This was she.

She didn't seem offended but Paterson still felt bad for not remembering. He put his hands over his chest and tipped his fake hat. “Forgive me (y/n). How could I forget such a face.” He practically had to shout. Paterson felt strangely more confident in this costume and it was purely a large coincidence that she was matching with him. The irony. (Y/n) took his hand so fast that Paterson barely had time to put his cup down. 

He felt suddenly so much better and blamed it on the amount of beers he had drank before the queen had whisked him away. 

They spent what felt like hours dancing and every once in a while, they would take a break. A drinking break. But only for her, he still had to get home on his own. Marie had her friends. He didn’t. Throughout the course of the night his hat had been shed somewhere and her shoes for whatever reason were lost. Paterson hoped she had an extra pair. 

It was almost two in the morning when the party decided to die down and wither away. Paterson almost felt bad that the whole ordeal had to end. Contrary to how his night had started, he actually felt weightless, like all his fears had walked away with the rest of the trick-or-treaters. It felt good. Uplifting. 

As people filed out the door, Paterson helped (y/n) sit at a table and he asked a very tired Doc for a glass of water. She drank three. 

“Thank you.” The frazzled and very drunk red queen croaked. Paterson offered her more water and a napkin for her makeup. He stared at her as she wiped it mostly off. 

“Do you have any friends that can take you home? Anyone you came with?” Paterson folded his hands over the hat on his lap slightly concerned. The red queen wiped her tired eyes and then they widened. “My friends. Oh gosh I left them!” She frantically looked around but everyone was pretty much gone except for the occasional drunk, doc and the pair. 

Paterson gave her a sympathetic look. “It seems like they’ve left you.” He grabbed the napkins and threw them away. “Do you need me to walk you home? Do you live far?” He checked his watch and deemed it ungentlemanly if he didn’t walk her home. 

She blinked and cracked a smile. “Why thank you kind sir. I would like that very much.” 

Paterson smiled too and thanked whatever god was out there that she wasn’t the type to argue about being walked home. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. 

“Well then, my Red Queen of hearts. Shall we go?” He got up, offered his hand and looked at doc for a split second. Doc just smiled and tipped his hat. 

The red queen just blushed and took his hand. “Lead on Mad hatter.” Paterson really liked this outcome of the night. It sure beats being a mad hatter alone. 

[ididntlookback]

IDK I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING BUT PLS WRITE SOMETHING CUZ IM DESPERATE AFTER S6

that’s a big phat mood so have this super self indulgent things i wrote. This is what i picture having happened right after where s6 leaves off. Btw, because i’m klance trash i put a tiny little romantic undertone here but feel free to read this and just think of it as a friendship (wc: 2,000)

Keith looked up into space. He looked as far as his eyes could reach, and he saw things- stars, planets, whatever else was out there- he saw them sparkle. They’d glow brighter and then they’d go back to normal. They’d shine for a few seconds and then tone back down.

Keith saw space like that every day he’d been away from earth, especially on the back of that whale- there hadn’t been much more to do than look up. These sparkles, though, they felt so different as Keith stood on a random rock in space, his temporary home gone but his brother back.

It felt like those stars were shining for Keith and his team. The stars and the unknown were applauding them.

Or maybe Keith was just really out of it.

He felt as though he hadn’t sat down in ages. A small bit of adrenalin was still coursing through him from his fight with ‘Shiro’ and Lotor. His heart was still pounding from how close he had been to losing Shiro.

The team was still on the same rock they landed on to heal Shiro. They had decided to go back to earth, but after such an intense day they needed to rest before their long trip home.

Shiro- new and improved- was resting in the Black lion. Pidge and Hunk were doing maintenance on the Lions but taking frequent breaks in between their work. Allura was taking it easy as well, the magic having taken a lot out of her. She, Coran, and Romelle were chatting about the new Altean that Keith and Krolia had discovered. Krolia, her mother’s instinct acting up, was checking up on everyone to make sure they were okay.

Keith didn’t know what he was doing. Shiro was okay, and so was everyone else. For the time being, the team didn’t have a mission- they certainly weren’t going to free people of galra control with just the lions and no home base. With nothing big on Keith’s plate, he just… didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know what he was suppose to be doing.

Keith had gotten pats on the backs and ‘good jobs’ from the team after their battle, plus a hug from his mom. She had told him to sit and rest, but at the time Keith was still hopped up on adrenaline.

Keith looked up at the sky and felt the stars applauding them. That was what he was doing.

There was a certain star that shined more than the others- it must’ve been a planet. Keith took a few tentative steps toward it, as if those few steps would reveal the mystery of the lights identity to him.

He found himself doing the same thing as before, just watching the sky shine.

“What are you doing?”

Keith was so out of it that he almost yelled at the sound of the voice, surprising him. He looked at the source of the sound and saw Lance only a few feet away. He was sitting against the red lion, his arms folded and his legs crossed in front of him.

“Hm?” Keith asked.

“What are you doing?” Lance repeated.

The question wasn’t snarky, which was the tone Keith most acquainted with Lance, it was just curious. Keith couldn’t help but notice that it sounded worn, as well. His voice was a bit gritty, and it wasn’t as loud and piercing as Lance usually sounded.

“Oh,” Keith said. “I don’t really know. What are you doing?”

“Just sitting,” Lance responded.

“Why aren’t you over with the others?”

“There’s not much for me to be doing over there.”

The two didn’t talk for a few seconds. Keith didn’t know what to say.

“Uh, can I sit?” Keith asked, gesturing to the open space next to Lance.

Lance’s eyes squinted slightly, but he nodded yes after a few seconds.

Keith sat, one knee up against his chest and his other leg straight in front of him, next to Lance’s legs. He placed his arm on his propped up knee.

Once he was situated, he looked over at Lance. Lance looked far away, his mind both nowhere and everywhere. He looked… different. Or maybe Keith just didn’t pay close enough attention to Lance before he had left for the blade of marmora.

“Good job,” Lance said, breaking the silence. “You know… leading the team and stuff.”

“Thanks,” Keith said. He glanced over at Lance, who was looking straight in front of himself and into space. Maybe he was looking at the stars as well. “Sorry for snapping at you when I first got back.”

“It’s whatever,” Lance shrugged. “You had bigger things to deal with.”

Keith sighed slightly. What he needed was a joke or two, or at least some sarcasm. The usual team producer of just that seemed out of business, and it was weird. “You alright?”

Lance looked over at Keith. “Yeah, i just have a lot on my mind.”

Keith looked at Lance’s eyes and saw clumps of his long eyelashes dried together. They were from dried tears.

“What did you mean before?” Keith asked, not being able to help himself. “You said that Shiro had tried to contact you.”

Lance sighed and cleaned dirt out from underneath his finger nails. Keith suspected it was more of a way to keep himself occupied than to keep up his hygiene.

He didn’t respond for a few minutes, and neither of them talked. Keith knew that there was nothing else underneath Lance’s fingernails, but he kept picking at them.

“We went on a mission a week or two back,” Lance started, “and we all went into this weird… astral plane thing. I guess it was the consciousness of our lions or something. One by one we disappeared until it was just me and Shiro left.”

Despite sitting by himself and not talking for however long they’d been on that rock, Lance’s voice sounded dry and worn.

“He tried calling out to me. He told me to listen to him, but I couldn’t hear him well. It was kind of like a staticky radio station. Then, we were out of the astral plane. I asked Shiro- or… fake Shiro about it, but he said he didn’t know what i was talking about.”

Lance looked over at Keith, his eyes dark and heavy.

“That was the real Shiro. He was trying to tell me, but i just- i didn’t know- I didn’t figure it out. If i had, we could’ve saved him earlier. But… I didn’t figure it out.”

“Lance,” Keith said gently, “you can’t blame yourself.”

Lance scoffed. “Yeah? Why not?”

“Because you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not that you didn’t figure it out, it’s that you couldn’t possibly have figured it out. You didn’t have enough to go on. If Pidge or Hunk or Allura were in your place, they wouldn’t have been able to figure it out, either.”

“You don’t know that, thought.”

“I’m pretty sure of it,” Keith said. “And anyway, it doesn’t matter, Lance. No one got hurt, and Shiro’s okay now.”

Lance looked over at Keith and looked like he was at least considering Keith’s words. “He’s missing an arm.”

“That’s on me, though,” Keith said with a raised eyebrow. “And he was missing an arm before, anyway.”

Lance laughed lightly. He still looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he looked a bit better. Keith was relieved by that.

“Wait here,” Lance said after looking over at Keith.

He walked into the red lion and emerged a few seconds later, holding a metal box Keith identified as the first aid box they all had in their lions.

“What are you doing with that?” Keith asked.

Lance snorted. “Have you looked in a mirror in the past day?”

“There’s… no mirrors to look into,” Keith said, suddenly feeling self conscious.

“Well, you look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

Lance pried open the box and took out a sterilizing wipe. “Can I?” he asked.

Keith didn’t fully process what he was asking, but he said yes.

Lance scooted closer to Keith and lightly pressed at the long burn on Keith’s face. Each dab sent a spike of pain through Keith, but it was bearable.

He was a little surprised at the caring role Lance was taking on. Would he have done this for Keith before he’d left for the blade of Marmora? Then again, would Keith have tried to comfort Lance as he had just done before he had left with the blade?

“Did you mean what you said? That I’ve changed?” Keith found himself asking. Lance was still cleaning his wound. Keith could feel Lance’s breath. His hands were warm.

“Well, yeah,” Lance said. “Your hair’s longer. And you’re taller. And kind of jacked- uh, not that i… pay attention to how jacked you usually are. You’ve also got a mom now, and you just… seem more complete? I don’t know if that makes sense. I just think you’re more confident in who you are now.”

“Oh,” Keith said, surprised by the answer. His heart fluttered a bit.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Lance backtracked. “I still totally hate you. Yuck. As if i’d ever enjoy your presence.”

Keith smirked, Lance’s hands leaving his face after he finished placing a bandage on his cheek. Lance smiled back at him, the air clear and light. There it was, the sarcasm that Keith needed.

Lance sat back where he was before, and Keith relaxed again against the lion. “So, what are gonna do when you get back to earth?” Keith asked.

Lance smiled at the reminder of their destination. He didn’t stop smiling. “I’ll go see my family. I miss them a lot, and I have… however many months we’ve been up here of noogies to make up for to my siblings. No scalp is safe from my wrath.”

Keith laughed at that.

“What about you?”

“Dunno,” Keith said with a shrug. “Not like I have a ton to go back down there for.”

“You can come back with me,” Lance said. He looked a bit surprised by his own words. “If- if you want. You don’t have to. My family is kind of a handful, so i’d get it i-”

“I’d love to meet them,” Keith cut in. “I mean, we’re all a family now, too, right?”

Lance relaxed a bit. “Yeah, we are.”

The two didn’t speak for a while longer. It was comfortable, though, and Keith felt like he just discovered something that he’d been missing.

Lance still looked a bit lost, but who wouldn’t be after what they’d been through the past few days? He seemed distracted from the negative thoughts Keith knew were hacking away at his brain, and Keith was glad he had some relief.

“I missed you, you know,” Lance said quietly.

Keith looked over at Lance, and Lance looked at him. Keith smiled a smile that he didn’t know he had in him. “I missed you, too.”

Lance flashed a smile as bright as the stars Keith had been so hypnotized by before. “Tell my about your time away. Tell me about your mom.”

So Keith did. He talked with Lance for what seemed like forever, the pain in his cheek subsiding but the deep fatigue he felt slowly dawning on him.

This was what Keith was supposed to be doing. He was supposed to be with his family, both old and new.

He looked back up at the applauding stars and imagined how different they’d look on Earth. How different they’d look from a planet that once was so lonely for Keith; how different they’d look when Keith returned to that planet, no longer alone.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic Writer Meme! tagged by @aban-asaara, thank you!! a nice meme to self-indulgently wind down with after a stressful day...

What is your total word count on AO3?

160,546. I had forgotten all about the AO3 stats page until having to dig that out, oops. I have more short drabbles etc on tumblr as well (and a LOT of stuff I just... never finished/posted anywhere).

How often do you write?

varies hugely depending on what else is going on in my life. In good times, I aim for daily, at least 500 words. During years I participate in NaNoWriMo, 1500-2000 per day in November. Other times I just can’t make even 500 happen with work/etc. Still more other times, my depression kicks in and I’m pretty useless at everything, and unfortunately go months with no writing at all. 

Do you have a routine for writing?

I try to write in several short bursts. If doing 500/words/day, then two chunks of 250, and some editing/planning on top. If during NaNoWriMo, 4 chunks of about 500 words each. If I really push myself to get them done in sections, I spend less time fiddling around, but the break between them makes it still relaxing/fun.

I also have a computer/document setup that works very well for me. I write on a laptop that can scroll between several different ‘desktop’ screens. I have one for fun stuff, and set one aside for writing. The only browser window/tabs allowed to be open on that desktop are writing-related ones--research, youtube clips of scenes, wiki articles, etc. All other fun stuff goes on the other desktop where it can’t distract me while I get through a section. Then over the browser I have two word documents: one on the left titled “[StoryTitle.docx]”, and one next to it titled “[StoryTitleNotes.docx]”. On the left is the “final version” of what I’m working on--aka the working document, with the most current edits/chapters/etc. The right “Notes” one is for outlines, summaries, lines I had to delete but might want to use somewhere else, passages I haven’t gotten to yet but wanted to sketch out before I lost the inspiration for them, quotes that I want to echo the feel of, copied dialogue from the game so I don’t forget it, etc etc. Anything related to the story in the working document that I might want to reference. The notes doc can be fairly messy--my level of organization for it changes from project to project. But it makes it WAY easier for me mentally to delete and tweak things when I can put them somewhere else just in case it turns out the first way was better. 

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

Ohh... my pairings are pretty obvious, I’m really into Lavellan/Solas, Hawke/Fenris, and Shepard/Garrus. 

But what I’m really into is Hawke/the concept of found family and also various coping mechanisms+mental health issues; Lavellan/the weight of duty above all else, Shepard/the giddy knowledge that you won’t survive what you have to turn yourself into in order to save everything you love, Ryder+Sam/breaking the boundaries of what it means to be a single conscious entity...  

my big literary kinks are pretty much any narrative that has to do with one or more of the following: self-sacrifice, the transcendence of humanity in pursuit of a goal, the knowledge of the futility of one’s actions, the duality of self plus other, the terrifying and terrible beauty of rage, stubborn and violent perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds, the frailty of people who nonetheless fool everyone into believing they’re not broken. I am also a very big fan of nontraditional formats, and the meta-narrative of a story over usual structure. 

tl;dr: I like my fiction weird. 

Like... I recognize that most of my fics. Do not include a majority of these. And the ones that do aren’t really very popular. The one that gets closest to these concepts is probably the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive which very few people read and got almost no attention. But I knew that when I posted it. I wrote it for me, after finishing the ME trilogy for the first time. The above tropes show up way more in my original writing, while I use fanfiction as a break from these more complicated/heavier themes, and to just have some fun with less technical writing. They’re there, just in smaller doses.

Fics with that sort of bend are WAY harder to search for than ones based on pairings though so like... if you have recs for anything that follows the above themes. please send them to me. i’m dying. please. 

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

How can I not answer this with Fallout from the Fade? It’s my baby. It’s the longest thing I’ve consistently written, without getting bored and abandoning it halfway through. It will probably take me a while yet (depending on mental health/writing pace/etc) to finish but I know how it ends, and most of how to get there. It’s also the third fanfiction I had ever started writing. The beginning feels rough to me when I go back to it (which an inevitable fact of my decision to post as I write/not use beta readers, which I still think was the only way for me to do this story), but I still think a lot of my ideas were clever and my execution may not have been perfect but it was pretty good. I’ve learned a lot while writing this fic.

And also I love to make people suffer. Knowing that people have shed literal tears because of things i have written fills me with the delightful glee to push forward. 

But really. Comments mean the world to me. They spur me on through rough patches where I otherwise abandon works. I’m really not used to having an audience: most of what I’ve written in my life is original content that I don’t post/share. Having other people also invested makes me feel accountable, in a good way. 

Other honorable mentions: I think Grief is one of my best fics in terms of execution and balance. Less a man than a wild cat and A Slip of the Tongue were both exercises in pacing/timing as well as forays into the highly unfamiliar territory of comedy. The aforementioned the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive satisfies my eternal desire for weird presentation and ideology taking a front seat over narrative structure (I have like. 4 other partial fics similar to this that will probably never be posted because I know they’re what I want to explore, not what other people actually want to read).

Your fic with the most kudos?

Fallout from the Fade, with 626.

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

I wish I was more consistent about sitting down and working. I managed it for 6 straight months when I started the fanfic gig, but to be fair, during that time I also had no friends and spent 5 days every other week camped out in Death Valley with no internet and nothing to do but write and brainstorm. Having the barest scrapings of a social life now that I’ve moved doesn’t do much for wordcount, it turns out.

Now something you do like?

I think I can write about mental illness realistically without it coming across as either overdramatic or idealistic. I like my descriptions, when I allow myself to use them (y’all don’t want to see how flowery most of my works would be without my self control). I have visibly improved since I started writing in 2015. 

i feel like a lot of my original circle on tumblr isnt active/writing anymore but gonna tag some people w/ no obligation… @leviathanmirror  @seekingidlewild @littleblue-eyedbird @loquaciousquark @kayla-bird and anyone else who wants to answer!! feel free to tag me if you do it, im lonely... 

[squishyharold]

I’m in love with the shape of you

Narry Fanfiction. Words: 3463 Summary: Niall has been getting off with strangers via webcam for a while now. No one intrigued him like the guy with the pretty tattoos though. SMUT.

Dedicated to @leprechauncupcakes​ and @littlemissmeggie​ because I love their narry stories ✌💛🌞 and @harry-nofookingway-styles because she’s amazing

Niall hits the spacebar again and again, one boring bloke replacing the next one. He's not sure why he's so into that webcam thing, why it thrills him to get off with strangers. Maybe it's because he feels a little less vulnerable, a little more confident about his body than he usually does. When he's at a bar with his mates and a boy or a girl start to hit on him he turns into a tongue tied idiot, already putting himself down. He points out his flaws to them and himself, making it obvious how scared he is of being close to someone. 

In the end he's too much trouble, especially when all they're looking for is a shag. Louis and Liam keep shaking their heads at him but he can't help it, he can't get out of his own skin. Only when he's in front of the webcam his flaws turn into strengths and he never once wastes a thought on what the other person might think about him.

But tonight he feels jittery, restless, and no face or body showing up on the screen interests him for longer than a second. It's all very shallow of course but that's what you get yourself into when you're doing stuff like this. So he keeps skipping to the next connection with his chin resting in his hand and a bored expression on his face. No one can see it anyway because he only ever shows himself from the neck down. He's too paranoid for more and his face, his crooked teeth, it's one of the things he feels most self-conscious about.

But suddenly he stops thinking, stops his hands and just hovers over the spacebar with his eyes glued to the screen. The first thing he notices is the ink on the boy's body. Birds above his chest, a butterfly right underneath and the hint of leaves cut off right above the edge of the desk he's sitting at. There's more on his arm, a heart, two hearts, a ship and Niall can't stop staring. He's so toned and probably works out on a regular basis.

Stranger: Are you from Ireland?

The message pops up right next to their webcam screens and Niall blinks in confusion for a moment, until he remembers that there's a huge Irish flag on the front of his low cut tank top. It's what he feels most comfortable in while still showing some skin.

You: You're a right Sherlock aren't you?

It's ridiculous how focused Niall is on the way the muscles in the stranger's arms work while he types out his next words.

Stranger: Don't be mean :( Some people wear shirts with flags just for fun.

You: Sry, just fucking with you.

Stranger: Fucking sounds good :))))

Niall shouldn't be choking on his own spit because that's exactly what they're here for but he does anyway, feeling his cheeks and his throat flare up with heat. He bites at his bottom lip and tries to ignore how nervous he is. He has done this a thousand times before, it's just getting off with a stranger. Granted, this is the hottest one he's been with so far and he doesn't even know what the bloke's face looks like but it doesn't matter. Niall is hooked.

Stranger: I usually don't talk much about myself but I'm a student and I want to major in gender studies, so I'm all about equality and stuff. So... it's not fair I'm the only one shirtless. Take off your top for me?

Niall doesn't even bother to write back, the fingers of one hand are already bunching up the fabric of the hem of his top, pressing down on his dick beneath the desk, out of sight. Okay, he thinks to himself. Just getting off with a stranger, as usual. So he slowly drags the top over his head, making sure his face doesn't get into the view of the camera. When he throws it behind him and moves his arm to straighten his mussed up hair he can see the stranger's body closing in to the screen like he's trying to get a good view. Niall's heart is hammering in his chest when the other boy types out a comment, probably a judgement of Niall's body and skin. He's usually not that nervous and if someone doesn't like what they see they just skip him, it's no big deal, he does the same. But he doesn't want to be skipped by tattoo-guy.

Stranger: Shit, you're gorgeous... not too small and I bet you would look lovely in my lap.

"Oh fuck," Niall whimpers to himself, rubbing over the back of his neck as goosebumps spread all over his body. The stranger has already leaned back with one hand still on the keyboard while the other runs along the button of his seemingly tight jeans. Niall swallows hard, his mouth completely dry.

You: You're not so bad yourself. I like your tattoos and your arms, fuck. You could probably hold me up against a wall.

Stranger: Never tried it

Stranger: But I could see myself with you

Stranger. In you

Stranger: Place and time doesn't matter

Niall is already rock hard in his loose joggers and he just has to shift back in his chair to let the stranger see it. He suddenly feels just as shy as he does in real life and he doesn't understand why. But this is different, not just because the boy is hot but also because there's usually no talking involved. You either get off together immediately or the speaking narrows down to 'show dick' or 'touch urself' which isn't hot at all. But the way he talks, like he really wants Niall, it makes him feel wanted despite being messed up in his head.

So he decides to be bold this once, pulling back a little and trailing his finger over his waistband before he pushes inside with his hand flat against his stomach. He rubs over the head of his own dick while he reaches out to the keyboard. Typing with one hand is a bit slower so the stranger beats him to it. He's pressing his hips hard against the edge of the desk and Niall wonders why.

Stranger: Shit, warn a guy!! I'm almost coming already. Where you this hard from the beginning??

Niall snorts to himself, deleting the bits he wrote to type out something new.

You: Nah, just you and your tats, your arms. It's why we can never meet, I'd probably get horny just from that while you introduce me to your parents :/

He can see shoulders moving on the screen like the stranger is laughing. Niall feels oddly warm, knowing he could make the bloke laugh despite his shaking hands when he starts to write an answer.

Stranger: Our love is already doomed, I can tell :(( won't stop me from making sweet love to you while you scream my name into the pillow.

Niall's hand moves down to grab the base of his cock, a tight grip to calm himself down because holy shit is this guy for real? He's ridiculous and Niall loves it already.

You: Don't know your name tho

He can see the stranger's hands still for a moment before they flex above the letters, contemplating an answer. Niall's not sure why he even said it, why he wants to know his name but maybe he got a little caught up in their fantasy. He tries to convince the stranger by moving his hand in his joggers, stroking himself just a little bit to tease the name out of him.

Stranger: Jesus

You: I doubt that's ur name

Stranger: It's Harry and now I wonder what it would sound like coming from your lips, with your accent

Niall rolls his eyes because yeah right, a hot guy like that is called Harry, as if! But he indulges him anyway, if that's what he wants to go with.

You: bit kinky aren't ya harry?

Stranger: only with you it seems

It's stupid but Niall blushes anyway, feeling more heat pooling in the pit of his stomach and making his skin prickle with want. He's not used to feeling like that, it's not how it usually goes. He sees someone's dick, gets off and it's done, he just feels it between his legs. But that guy is under every bit of his skin already with nothing but words and his body.

You: im Niall. Joinme now?

It already gets harder to type and just the idea of seeing Harry's dick is driving him insane.

Stranger: whatever you want Niall

He finally moves back in his chair again and Niall moans when he sees the thick bulge in the front of his trousers. He's popping the button with one hand before he pulls down the zipper and gets his hand in there. Niall fumbles with his own joggers to finally pull his dick free and when Harry does the same his breath hitches. He's hard and so bloody thick Niall would be scared to get that inside of him. Not that he knows what it would be like since he's a fucking virgin but no one has to know that, especially not this beautiful stranger. He's not a stranger anymore, though. He's Harry and Niall tightens his grip around his length when Harry does the same, already dripping wet and smearing it across the head of his cock.

You: whatever I want? Fuck I wanna go down on my knees and get u in my mouth.

A moment later he sees Harry's hips move, like he's thrusting up into his hand and Niall wonders if it's from the comment he just made. He feels like he's in the twilight-zone because in what world can he make such a hot guy hot for him? But he should probably stop thinking about it and focus on getting off because the need is building up under his skin and he's vibrating with need as he strokes himself harder. Harry just does the same while he types furiously with his free hand. Niall notices the little cross inked into his skin between thumb and forefinger and the anchor above his wrist. He's curious if Harry has more tattoos on him that aren't visible at the moment.

Stranger: fuck you'd be so good for me wouldn't you? I'd take such good care of your needy mouth

Stranger: but I rather wanna kiss you while I prep you with my fingers and get you all wet and ready for me

"Oh god," Niall moans and tips his head back for a moment, closing his eyes to picture this faceless Harry that he wants to snog the hell out of. His dick is twitching with the need to come and he's never been so close so fast before and he doesn't want to stop.

You: from what I can see ur fingers would feel so fucking good in me

You: stretch me so well

You: Id probably come twice before u get the chance to fuck me

He loves how Harry's hand speeds up at that, how he's squirming in his chair like his own hand isn't enough, like he needs Niall there with him.

Stranger: fuck Niall ur so perfect just look at you, with your skin all red and beautiful

He wonders what Harry's voice sounds like, is it high or low? He hopes he has a low voice that can purr praises into his ear all night while he's being fucked into the sheets. He feels his dick twitch in his hand and he crosses his ankles below the desk, curling his toes because he tries to hold back. He usually doesn't care, it's usually a race between him and the person behind the other screen. Whoever comes first is lucky and just logs off while the other has to try and find someone else. It's selfish but he doesn't want to be selfish right now, he wants to be... good. He pulls away from his cock to get both hands on the keyboard and it will be gross but he can't help it.

You: can I come

You: pls pls pls can I come

He stares at the screen and watches Harry arch his back on the chair, pumping his cock slower but with more effort as he starts to type. Niall already pulls back his hand to touch himself again but stops himself midway when he remembers that he's waiting for permission and he doesn't even know why.

Stranger: of course baby

Stranger: come for me

Stranger: wanna see

Niall falls back into the chair immediately, closing his eyes again as he wraps his hand back around his cock. He doesn't have to look at Harry, he can already see him behind his eyelids, can imagine his heavy body covering Niall as he gets him off with his hand and whispers into his ear. Come for me, baby, wanna see the mess you can make. 

He wants to make it good for Harry, wants him to see how good he feels and he blindly grabs at the backrest above him to keep himself on the chair, he already felt himself sliding down just a little bit. He's so close, so fucking close, dragging his hand up and down and then he comes without a warning, with the thought of mouthing against Harry's tattoo on his collarbone while riding out his orgasm.

His whole body trembles and his hips jerk when he comes all over his hand and probably his desk, too but he doesn't care much. He just bites at his lip and moans loudly, unapologetically, because he has his own flat and that must have some perks at least. He feels like he's coming forever and just keeps stroking himself until the last drop, sucking in huge gulps of air to calm himself down. He's not quite ready to open his eyes again, the aftershock making him feel all fuzzy around the edges.

When he does though it's right in time to see Harry come as well. He shoots white stripes of come across his abs with one hand out of the frame like he's pulling his hair or something. He's beautiful, glistening with sweat and all Niall wants to do is lick him clean. His eyes travel down Harry's body to the end of the screen and then he notices his own screen beneath and almost faints.

Harry can see his face. Niall has been so into it that he slipped all the way down and now Harry can't just see his cock still in his hand but also his whole fucking face. Niall takes in his own messy hair and red face with his mouth hanging open since he's still panting hard. Shit, that definitely wasn't the plan. But now it's done and it looks like Harry didn't mind the way he looks, not even the bit of crooked that peeks through.

He also needs just as much time as Niall to get down from his high and it fills Niall with a weird sense of pride, even though this is not the first guy who got off on him. They both clean themselves up after that and Niall doesn't bother hiding his face again, it's too late now anyway. Still, he's reluctant to write, doesn't even know what to say after revealing that much of himself. So he's relieved when Harry doesn't even bother to tuck himself back in and gets his hand on the keyboard instead.

Stranger: Holy shit Niall

Stranger: You're so fucking gorgeous I almost died

Niall can't hide his face this time and he smiles shyly, chewing on his bottom lip before he sits up properly and adjusts the webcam so harry can see him properly.

You: will you believe me when I tell you that showing my face was an accident?

Stranger: I figured. Somehow that made it even hotter, seeing you go wild when you thought I couldn't see you. It was so good, Niall

Niall swallows for the third time in ten seconds because Harry makes him want to drool all over the place, it's ridiculous. He never got that far with anyone on the internet anyway and he certainly doesn't talk, doesn't flirt. Are they flirting? He should find out.

You: Well you didn't even show me your face but it was enough to get me off, so that's a win for you. But since you're all about equality...?

He hopes he doesn't look as nervous as he feels and it takes a few more moments until Harry reads his message and processes it in his head. But then his hand moves to the screen to nudge up the webcam and Niall's heart skips a beat when he's met with a pair of green eyes. Well, Harry's body definitely matches his face with all the sharp angles and those sinfully plump lips. His hair is put up in a bun but it's all ruffled on one side which means he has been pulling at his own hair. Fuck, he's probably the hottest person Niall has ever seen and in real life he would've avoided him because he knows how to choose his battles. Harry is way out of his league and he hates how his cock already twitches with interest again.

You: what the fuck

Stranger. What??

You: how are you that beautiful??

He can see Harry laugh while he rubs one knuckle over his eye like a sleepy cat. Niall calls bullshit, there's no way he's real.

Stranger: Thanks I guess? I think the same about you though.

You: You can't just say SAME, you have to come up with your own compliments

Stranger: Ok how about that: I hooked up with strangers for over a year now but I never came so hard in my life.

Niall snorts.

You: yeah... Same :P

He already loves the way Harry smiles and laughs and it's just through a screen, what the fuck. And the thing is: Niall doesn't want to disconnect, he wants to keep talking to Harry and maybe get off with him again and he doesn't know how to say it because that's not what this place is for anyway. And then his phone vibrates next to him, reminding him that he's meeting up with Louis and Liam in two hours and he still has to shower and stuff.

"Shit," he mutters and even though Harry's typing again he has to get in first.

You: fuck, I gotta go... forgot that I'm meeting up with a few friends later and I can't meet them when I look like I've just been having the best shag of me life.

Harry raises his eyes when Niall's message pops up on the screen and his smile falls with a slight frown and then he fucking pouts. It's endearing and hot and beautiful and Niall squirms on his chair.

Stranger: Oh...

Stranger: Well that sucks

You: yeah...

They both stare at the screen, not writing anything, they're not even moving. Niall wants to ask for his number, for his dick and maybe even his hand in marriage. But that might just be the endorphins still coursing through his body. Harry chews on his own lips and then puts on a determined expression before he types again.

Stranger: Ok I'll just do the reasonable thing now and ask you for your number. Fate smiled upon us today but I'm not ready to let you go yet, love.... (you can say no of course)

Ridiculous. That's all Niall can think of and he laughs hysterically because that's exactly what he wants.

You: A+ argument, so reasonable and I feel very flattered. Pls don't turn out to be an axe murderer though that would be awkward.

He types out his number next and just hits enter before he can have second thoughts. Harry only grins in victory and leans back to pull out his phone and save his number. A few moments later he gets a message from an unknown number.

I'm not an axe murderer, cross my heart. Maybe just a hot cam boy by day and a creepy clown by night. X

Niall smiles at the screen one last time before he disconnects. Well, this was a fantastic day and he'll never tell Liam and Louis about it because he just knows they'll interrogate him for the rest of the night. No, he'll keep it to himself instead and maybe jerk off again when he's in the shower. Absolutely no one has to know about it.

That eases my mind, thx Harry. See ya soon.

You bet. X

Other stories I wrote:

 a pack of misfits

In The Stars (the dark narry demigod AU)