#im so desperate to socialise

[thursdayg1rl]

my friend actually invited me to go to the barbie movie omg

[gunkbaby]

headcanoning as shuu tsukiyama w bpd or autism or both bc im projecting and rly confused by all my diagnoses

[tainsan]

opposites attract.

↳synopsis: you are on the verge of being expelled, so your teacher helps you find a tutor, yet what you weren't expecting was much more than just tutoring sessions.

↳ word count: 14.3k

↳ a/n: i know this isnt misfits or misfits related but i wanted to give you guys something whilst you wait for the next chapter. i havent been active due to a majot burnout, but im getting into the swing of it again. I hope you enjoy this one shot whilst you wait for the next chapter <3

↳ warnings: fem bodied reader, mentions of alcohol, explicit smut, fingering, oral (f rec), unprotected sex (wrap it pls), gn pronouns but Yunho calls reader a good girl.

MINORS DNI 18+ CONTENT AHEAD

"Expelled, what do you mean?" you exclaim, the words of your professor hitting you like a sudden, unwelcome storm.

Your professor leans forward, her expression grave. "If you don’t make a change," she replies, her tone weighted with concern. "Your recent academic performance has been far from ideal, and it's no secret that you'd rather be out partying and socialising than studying. I've tried to advocate for you for the past few months, but even the student council is beginning to lose faith. You need to make a change, or else they will remove you from this program."

The news leaves you feeling torn. You have always been drawn to the vibrant social scene on campus, and it was no secret that you enjoy a good party. Balancing your studies with your social life has been a constant struggle, and it has finally caught up with you in the form of this dire warning.

Taking a deep breath, you try to gather your thoughts, your mind a whirlwind of confusion. "I don't know what to do, though," you admit, your voice tinged with both desperation and uncertainty.

Professor Turner fixes her gaze on you, her expression stern yet caring. Her half-moon glasses perch on the edge of her nose lends an air of wisdom to her appearance. She had always been one of the few teachers who genuinely believed in your potential, even if you hadn't quite lived up to it yet. 

She leans forward slightly, her eyes locked on yours. "You can start by addressing that persistent partying issue," she says, her tone deadpan but not without a hint of exasperation. "I've always seen your talent, but it's time for you to believe in it too. My patience for you is wearing thin, and the threat of expulsion is very real. You need to get your studies together, and fast."

Her words strike a chord, and bow your head down, tears starting to form in your eyes. The urgency of the situation finally sinks in, and you know it is time to make a change. 

Professor Turner's expression softens, and she leans back in her chair, understanding the turmoil in your eyes. "I know it can be challenging to balance both, but it's essential. Perhaps you can establish a more structured study schedule and limit your social activities during the week.”

Looking up at her, you notice the warmth and unwavering belief in her eyes, which provides a glimmer of hope amidst your uncertainty. 

She continues, "In fact, I found a tutor for you. Someone had to cancel on him at the last minute, and he's willing to take you on until your grades improve. He’s an incredibly sweet person, his grades are the best in my class."

Although you would rather avoid any study sessions or anything to do with your university academics, you reluctantly take the paper showcasing the number of the tutor your professor found for you. The paper displays the name "Jeong Yunho" along with his contact number. You have never heard of him before, which was unusual considering you considered yourself as a social butterfly who knew nearly everyone on campus. It occurred to you that there truly was a first time for everything.

As you held the paper, a sense of curiosity overcame your reluctance. You pondered the mystery behind this unknown tutor and wondered what kind of person Jeong Yunho was. 

—

Clutching your bag tightly under your arm, you reluctantly made your way towards the library on a Friday evening. With every step, you grumbled to yourself, yearning to be at a lively party instead, drowning your sorrows about the looming threat of expulsion. The future seemed bleak, and hope was a distant memory. When you left Professor Turner's office earlier, you almost crumpled the paper she had given you, fully intent on disregarding any contact with whoever the hell Yunho is.

The journey to the library is slow, partly because you have never set foot in the place before, and partly due to your resistance against the impending academic endeavour. You had never planned on being a library regular; it wasn't part of your college vision. Yet, the harsh reality of the potential consequences weigh heavily on your mind. Losing your education at this point would not only set you back years but also jeopardise all the hard work you have invested to even make it to this esteemed school in the first place.

With every reluctant step, you can’t help but reflect on the choices that have led you here. It was time to face the music, find this enigmatic Yunho, and see if, against all odds, he held the key to salvaging your academic future. 

Pushing open the heavy wooden doors of the university library, you're immediately greeted by the familiar scent of aged books and hushed whispers. The soft lighting casts a warm glow over the rows of shelves filled with knowledge, and you can't help but feel out of place in this quiet atmosphere. You've rarely ventured into this sanctuary of academia, and your lack of familiarity is evident as you scan the cavernous space, unsure of where to start

Stepping further into the library, your frustration and reluctance grow. You have little idea of who you're even looking for. The notion that Yunho might be some stereotypical "nerd-looking" guy briefly crosses your mind, and you can't help but feel a twinge of guilt for the shallow assumption.

After several minutes of wandering the labyrinthine aisles, you find yourself standing in the centre of the library, defeated and ready to give up on this wild goose chase. You can't even muster the energy to be disappointed; you're too focused on your own internal battle between academic responsibilities and your desire for the social scene.

Just as you turn to head for the exit, your hasty retreat is halted by an unexpected and rather forceful collision. You practically bump into a broad, solid chest that seemingly appears out of nowhere. Startled, you stagger back a step, nearly dropping the papers that you have clenched in your hand.

Looking up, you're met with the sight of a tall man, much taller than you. The first thing you notice is his thick black-framed glasses perched on his nose, giving him a rather studious appearance. However, his eyes sparkle with warmth and curiosity, and his friendly, wide smile catches you off guard.

"I'm sorry," you stammer, feeling flustered by the unexpected encounter.

The man's voice is deep and soothing and light-hearted as he replies, "No need to apologise. Are you looking for someone, or can I help you find a book or something?"

You hesitate for a moment, unsure if you should reveal your purpose in the library. But the kindness in his eyes and the genuine desire to assist make you decide to share. "Actually, I'm trying to find someone named Yunho. I was told he could help me with my studies."

His smile widens, his eyes scrunching in the process, and he extends a hand in greeting. "Yunho, at your service. It's nice to meet you."

You shake his hand, feeling a mix of surprise and relief. Yunho is not what you had expected, and the moment you assumed he'd be a stereotypical "nerd" is now a distant memory. As you look into his friendly eyes, a sense of hope and optimism begins to replace the frustration and doubt that had plagued you earlier.

"You're Yunho?" you ask, a hint of surprise in your voice, as he begins to lead you towards where it appears he was sitting.

"Yes, is it hard to believe?" Yunho responds, a slight nervousness in his tone. "I can get my ID out if you're sceptical." He quickly reaches into his pocket, his ears turning a shade of red as he rushes to grab his ID.

Hastily, you halt him, not wanting to put him through the trouble of proving his identity. Silently, you smile to yourself, he is sweet.

You and Yunho take a seat at a quiet corner table within the library, and you find yourself fidgeting with unease in your chair. Yunho, observant of your discomfort, wisely refrains from commenting, valuing your need for privacy.

"Alright," Yunho began, adjusting his glasses with a hint of nervousness in his demeanour. He reaches into his bag, carefully pulling out two well-worn textbooks and a stack of papers, placing them on the table in front of you. 

"I wasn't entirely sure which topics you needed help with, so I brought materials for all five modules you're studying this semester."

You examine the books, their covers showing the marks of countless readers who had delved into their pages. 

"Are these your books?" you inquire, surprised by the thoughtfulness he has put into his preparation.

Yunho shakes his head, his cheeks flushing slightly as he admits, "No, I borrowed them from the library. Microbiology isn't my field of study."

Your disbelief is evident as you fix your gaze on him. The rosy hue on his cheeks deepens as he fiddles with the sleeves of his oversized sweater and adjusts his glasses nervously. "You don't study microbiology?" you ask, genuinely surprised.

"No," Yunho confesses, his embarrassment now fully on display. "I just study it as a hobby."

You can’t help but be impressed by his dedication and the sheer audacity of teaching a subject purely out of passion. 

"That's impressive," you state. You were well aware that to tutor a subject officially, one typically needed to pass a test administered by the school, certifying one's proficiency. The fact that Yunho was willing to help without any formal obligation was both admirable and unexpected.

Curiosity gets the better of you, you inquire, "What else do you tutor?"

Yunho hesitates for a moment, his fingers still absently adjusting his glasses. "Um, history, algebra, and applied sciences," he finally reveals, his modesty and shyness contrasting with his evident knowledge.

As you listened to him speak, you found yourself captivated not only by his academic prowess but also by the way he wore his thick glasses and his endearing shyness. Yunho was turning out to be a surprising and impressive individual, and you couldn't help but feel a growing fascination with the person who had just entered your academic world.

“So how much do you know about Microbiology?” Yunho questions, thinning through some of the papers in front of him.

“Uh, the basics I guess.” you mumble, your knowledge not the best seeing as you have missed many lectures the past few months.

Yunho's gaze meets yours, and you sense him observing your unease as his eyes traverse your form. 

With a soft tone, he reassures you, "it’s okay, you can be honest. I'm here to help you, so you have to be honest. Then I can help you in the best way possible.” 

For a fleeting moment, his words touch your heart, a warmth spreading within. Yet, you quickly suppress the feeling, reminding yourself that there is no time for such emotions in your busy life.

“I’ve forgotten a lot, to be honest.” 

“That’s okay, we will start with the basics today, to refresh your memory.” 

Under the soft glow of the study lamps in your cosy corner of the library, Yunho begins to unravel the basics. The excitement in his eyes was unmistakable, his passion for the subject evident with every word he spoke.

"Alright," he begins, tracing his finger along the pages filled with complex diagrams and scientific jargon. "As you likely already know, microbiology is the study of tiny organisms, like bacteria, viruses, and fungi. These microorganisms are everywhere, and they play a crucial role in our lives, from the food we eat to the diseases we encounter."

Yunho's explanation is clear and concise, making sure to break down complex ideas into easily digestible pieces. 

He continues, "Uhh, the basics: the three main types of microorganisms. First, there are bacteria. They're single-celled organisms that can be both good and bad. Some bacteria help with digestion in your gut, while others can cause diseases."

You nod along, your memory starting to be refreshed. Yunho's enthusiasm is contagious, and you find yourself getting more and more interested in the subject.

He flips to a page with colourful illustrations of various microorganisms. "Then there are viruses, which are even smaller than bacteria. They're not considered living because they can't reproduce on their own. Instead, they need a host cell to replicate. Viruses are responsible for many illnesses, like the flu or COVID."

You absorb the information, appreciating how Yunho made the complex concept of viruses relatable. "And the third type?" you prompt.

"Ah, fungi," Yunho smiles. "Fungi are more complex microorganisms. They can be beneficial, like the yeast used in baking bread, or harmful, causing infections like athlete's foot. They're known for their unique cell structure and reproduction methods."

Whilst he explains, he encourages you to ask questions, making sure you are following along. The library's serene ambiance, coupled with Yunho's patient teaching, created a comfortable learning atmosphere. He didn't rush, taking his time to make sure you grasped each concept before moving on.

He continued to cover the basics of microbiology, including the significance of studying these microorganisms, their role in medicine, agriculture, and environmental science. Yunho's passion for the subject was evident in the way he animatedly discussed the various branches of microbiology, from medical microbiology to environmental microbiology, each with its unique focus and importance.

In the quiet of the library, during this unexpected first study session, you find yourself lost in thought. This wasn't how you had imagined it would go, and you can’t help but be impressed and thankful for Yunho's extraordinary patience and intelligence. 

You had initially expected a conventional tutoring experience, but Yunho has proven to be so much more. His explanations were crystal clear, his passion for the subject contagious, and his willingness to help you with genuine enthusiasm is striking. He isn’t just a smart individual; he is a rare combination of intelligence and empathy.

You marvel at the fact that he wasn't the stereotypical snobby, know-it-all type who might look down on your abilities. Instead, Yunho is an embodiment of understanding and non-judgment. As he continues to make the complex subject of microbiology comprehensible, you can’t help but feel immense gratitude.

The study session with Yunho nears its end and you find yourself in a much different frame of mind than when you had started. Initially apprehensive about having a tutor, you have been pleasantly surprised by the experience. Your worries have somewhat melted away, replaced by a growing sense of confidence and gratitude.

Yunho, having covered a significant portion of the microbiology basics, closes the textbook with a satisfied smile. "I think we've made some good progress today," he says. "But there is still a lot we have to cover before exams next month. I expect to see you every Wednesday and Friday until then." Yunho attempts a stern voice, jokingly pointing his finger at you.

You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “Yes sir.” you salute him, acting back on his funny actions. 

Gathering your belongings, you prepare to leave the library, yet Yunho surprises you with a genuine offer. 

"If you ever have questions or need further assistance, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here to help, and I enjoy teaching. We can meet on more days if you need."

You smile at the sincerity in his voice, “that’s okay, Yunho.” you say before turning towards the exit.

Walking out of the library, a lightness seems to settle upon your chest, replacing the initial apprehension with a sense of accomplishment. Glancing at your phone, you note that it is only ten in the evening. This realisation fills you with a newfound sense of freedom and opportunity.

With a contented smile, you contemplate the evening unfolding before you. The memory of the house party, just a short walk down the road, initially seemed distant due to your earlier commitment to the study session with Yunho. Despite knowing that you should be heading home to review your notes, a mischievous thought crept into your mind – what Yunho didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

A sly smirk plays on your lips as you begin to make your way toward the house party. You can’t deny the allure of a night filled with fun and perhaps a little indulgence. Yet, as you take your first steps, a fleeting moment of hesitation overcomes you. You pause, reflecting on the considerable effort Yunho had put into helping you today.

It is a big realisation. Few, if any, have ever invested so much time and effort in your growth and success. Your heart warms for a brief second at the thought, but just as quickly, you push aside those emotions. You have your reasons – a past that still haunted you, and the fear of getting your heart broken once more. You can’t afford to be vulnerable.

Despite your better judgement, you continue your journey to the house party, determined to enjoy the night to the fullest. 

Unbeknownst to you, though, Yunho's presence would linger in your thoughts throughout the night.

—

Several weeks have passed since the start of your study sessions with Yunho, and it has been quite the transformative period. Initially, you had been reluctant to engage in any additional study outside of your scheduled sessions with him. But over time, Yunho's presence had become a reassuring constant in your life, offering a sense of peace and support that you couldn't quite admit to yourself.

During the past couple of weeks, you found yourself increasingly immersed in your books and studies, even sometimes choosing academic pursuits over the lively parties that your large, party-loving friend group frequented. 

The shift in your priorities had not gone unnoticed by your friends, who seemed disheartened by your withdrawal from their activities. A residue of guilt clings to you every time you opted to hit the books rather than attend a party. Your ‘friends’ have grown vocal about it, casting you as a bore and a waste of time, berating you for supposedly losing your popularity.

Amid this turmoil, your study sessions with Yunho had become a sanctuary, a refuge from the social pressure and expectations. What you didn't fully realise was the profound positive impact these sessions were having on you, not just academically but also in terms of your personal growth.

Just a few days ago, you faced your first exam since you had started your sessions with Yunho and today you are receiving the results. You are well aware that if you do not pass this, it is not a huge deal seeing as it is not a final exam. Yet you do need to prove yourself to the student council by at least getting a D. 

The anticipation is palpable in Professor Turner's classroom, the air thick with nervous energy. She stands at the front of the room, clutching a stack of papers that hold the results of the previous week's exam. Your heart races as you sit there, your anxiety mounting with each passing moment.

Whilst Professor Turner begins to distribute the grades, your palms grow clammy, and your heart races even faster. 

As Professor Turner finally reaches your desk, she hands you the paper with a warm smile that holds an underlying pride. In the corner of the sheet, a vibrant red 'C' was marked. It isn’t the highest grade in the class, but at this moment, it feels like a monumental achievement.

A sense of accomplishment washes over you like a warm wave, as you realise that all the effort, Yunho's unwavering support, and Professor Turner's belief in you is beginning to pay off. 

You cannot wait to let Yunho know about the news.

The campus courtyard was alive with activity as students milled about, enjoying the pleasant weather and the break from their studies. Among the various clusters of friends, you spot Yunho, standing with a small group of his own. His friends seem to be engaged in an animated conversation, their voices and laughter filling the air. 

You observe Yunho for a brief moment, his expression appearing neutral as he attentively listens to his friend's conversation. Your gaze then drifts down to the sight of Yunho pulling up the sleeves of his knitted sweater, revealing his unexpectedly well-defined forearms. The contrast between his baggy clothing and his toned physique momentarily catches you off guard.

But as you approach, your excitement is impossible to contain, the momentary thought of how toned Yunho is elsewhere leaves your mind. Your heart races, and you feel a surge of joy within you. The sense of accomplishment overwhelms you, and you can’t wait to share the news with Yunho, regardless of the audience.

Without hesitation, you stride purposefully toward him, determination etched across your face. The moment you reach him, you suddenly feel a little small under the eyes of his friends who seem to have noticed you approaching.

“Yunho,” you say gently, attempting to get his attention.

Yunho turns around, surprised to see you talking to him outside of your study sessions.

“Hey, what’s up?” Yunho questions, his attention fully on you as he forgets his friends existence.

“I passed the exam,” you beam, “well barely it was only a C.”

Yunho’s eyes widen as his face breaks into a bright, genuine smile. His eyes, behind his thick glasses, now sparkle with delight. 

"That's amazing! I knew you could do it!" he exclaims, his enthusiasm matching yours.

His friends can’t resist exchanging glances among themselves, finding it rather peculiar to witness your conversation with Yunho. After all, you are a highly popular figure in their school, while Yunho remains a reserved and relatively unknown individual.

The smile of pride that graces Yunho's face stirs a flurry of butterflies in your stomach, a sensation that has become increasingly common in recent times. Yet, you can't quite bring yourself to acknowledge the feeling, even to yourself.

Yunho's hand rises with a touch of hesitation before gently resting on the top of your head, playfully ruffling your hair to convey a silent 'good job.' Your entire face warms at the simple gesture, a blush creeping across your cheeks.

"Now, it's time to focus on those major tests, okay?" Yunho exclaims, his voice brimming with enthusiasm as he makes an effort to infuse you with the same excitement.

"Yes, sir," you respond with a playful salute, evoking a chuckle from his lips. Saluting Yunho has become somewhat of a habit, and he finds it endearing every time you do it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 

You offer a nod, a warm smile gracing your face as you wave and bid farewell to Yunho and his friends.

Walking away, you feel a deep sense of gratitude for Yunho's unwavering support, not just as a tutor but as a friend who is being a great help in your journey toward success. 

His encouragement had been a driving force in your recent accomplishments, and you couldn't have been happier to share this victory with him and his friends in the vibrant courtyard, a testament to the bonds forged through your academic pursuits.

As you depart, Yunho's gaze lingers on your retreating figure, a faint smile gracing his lips as he replays the conversation in his mind. The moment you vanish from his sight, his friends swivel toward him, their faces etched with bewilderment and curiosity.

"When you mentioned you were tutoring someone, you didn't say it was them?" Wooyoung exclaims, genuine confusion stemming from the exchange they just witnessed.

Yunho, momentarily caught off guard by their reactions, inquires, "What do you mean?" He shifts his attention toward the group, ready to address their inquiries.

"Dude, she's the most popular person in this school; you don't just get to talk to them," San chimes in, his astonishment mirroring Wooyoung's.

Yunho, however, didn't buy into the notion of social hierarchies. He pokes San in the forehead, responding, "We're not in high school anymore, and there's no such thing as popular girls and guys."

Wooyoung's expression softens as he mulls over your interaction. "And they were so nice," he continues, noting Yunho's reaction. "I didn't expect someone with their status to be so nice."

Yunho's annoyance flares at the stereotype implied in Wooyoung's words, his brow furrowing. "Don't hold such stereotypes," he chastises his friend. "They... they are the sweetest person I know."

San's eyes widen as he glances at Yunho, connecting the dots. "Holy moly," he exclaims. "You like them, don't you?"

Yunho scrambles to hush him up, his cheeks flushing. "Shut up," he grumbles, though the embarrassment in his voice hints at a deeper truth.

—

“Ugh, I’m never going to pass this test,” you groan as you throw your head into your hands, frustration emitting from your every fibre.

"Come on, don't be so pessimistic. You've got this, and I believe in you," Yunho exclaims, his warm smile casting a ray of encouragement over the room. He watches as you succumb to a hissy fit, a mix of frustration and self-doubt, a smile covering his features at your actions.

"You always say that, but this time I am doomed," you groan, your voice muffled by your hands as you bury your face in them.

Gently, Yunho reaches out and takes your hands, coaxing them away from your face. The contact sends a brief tremor through your heart, and you can’t help but notice the warmth of his touch.

"You can do it; you're the smartest person I know," Yunho says softly, locking his eyes with yours. His words catch you off guard, and you look at him, a puzzled expression furrowing your brow. 

"I'm not smart; if I were, I wouldn't need a tutor," you state flatly, a hint of self-deprecation in your tone, which elicits a chuckle from Yunho.

"I'd be an idiot not to see your potential. I just think you had your priorities muddled when you first came here," he remarks.

Curious, you probe further. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it's no secret you enjoy a party," Yunho replies.

"No, before that."

"Oh," Yunho responds, and he continues, seemingly on a roll, "Well, I'd have to be blind not to see how smart you actually are. You're very capable of applying knowledge and solving problems. You have an excellent memory; most of the time, I only have to explain something once, and you've already processed it and applied it. It's very impressive. You're incredibly talented too. I see all the drawings you do in your book when you’re bored."

Yunho continues his praise, yet he is unaware of the emotions that well up within you. When he eventually glances in your direction, he is taken aback to find your eyes glistening with tears and a smile gracing your face.

"Did I say something wrong? I'm so sorry if it wasn't my intention," he inquires quickly, a sense of concern crossing his features as he worries he may have inadvertently hurt your feelings.

You shake your head and wipe away a tear, still smiling. "No, Yunho. It's just... no one really sees me like that anymore."

Now Yunho is confused for a different reason. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, most people see me as the 'popular girl' or 'the life of the party.' I don't know. It's nice to be seen as something other than the stereotype.”

"I know what you mean," Yunho says, his hand ruffling his hair as his cheeks turn a faint shade of red.

"What do you mean?" you ask, intrigued by his response.

"Well, I'm usually seen as a nerd or a loner. People only talk to me when they need help with assignments or answers for exams. It was nice at first, feeling needed, but now it just feels like I'm being used in a way. I only have two friends, and they spend more time with each other than they do with me." Yunho admits, his gaze drifting down to his fingers, where he idly picks at a piece of dead skin on his nail.

"I know it's weird coming from me since you're literally my tutor, but I don't think your intelligence defines you," You begin, causing Yunho to look up at you with a puzzled expression, waiting for you to elaborate.

You continue, your words flowing with sincerity, "You're a sweetheart, Yunho. I see you helping people, not because you have to, but because you genuinely enjoy it. You're kind, a gentleman, and incredibly thoughtful. Your sense of humour is beyond anyone I've ever met before; it's refreshing to talk to someone whose humour isn't just 'your momma' jokes or making others look bad to get a laugh."

Yunho furrows his eyebrows, taking in your words, his expression almost studying them.

"Plus," you add, a warm smile gracing your face, "whether you like it or not, I consider you my friend."

—

The evening sun casts a warm glow over the campus as you join your friend group in the bustling cafeteria. Laughter and chatter filled the air as you settled in with them at your usual table. The topic of conversation quickly turns to the party happening later in the night, an event that has become increasingly rare for you to attend. The thought of partying when there was a crucial final exam on the horizon weighs heavily on your mind.

"Hey, you are coming to the party tonight, right?" your friend asks, a glimmer of anticipation in their eyes.

You hesitate for a moment, knowing what your priorities were. "I wish I could, but I really need to study for the final exam," you explain.

Immediately, your friends' expressions grow sour, and they exchange incredulous glances. "Again? You're always studying or making excuses. It's like you're avoiding us," one of them remarks, frustration creeping into their tone.

Their words sting, and you feel the pressure of their expectations bearing down on you. "I'm not avoiding anyone; I just have to prioritise my studies, you guys know I might get expelled." you insist, your voice wavering slightly as you try to maintain your composure.

But your friends aren’t satisfied with your explanation. 

"You never come to parties anymore. You're turning into a loser nerd, just like that loner Yunho," another friend declares with a snide tone, and the others chime in agreement, chuckles leaving their mouths.

The words strike a nerve, and you can’t hold back any longer. How dare they insult Yunho, who has been there for you during your toughest times of studying? The anger that has been building up inside you erupts.

"Yunho is not a loser," you snap, your voice filled with indignation. "He's been more of a friend to me than any of you. If you can't understand the importance of my studies and support me, then I don't need ‘friends’ like you."

At that moment, you make a decision. These friends are just immature individuals who only care about getting drunk and partying. They value popularity and shallow connections over your well-being and academic success. You have had enough of pretending to be something you weren't just to fit in.

"I don't care about popularity if it means I have to be fake and have fake-ass friends," you exclaim. With that, you push your chair back and leave the table, leaving your former friends behind, realising that true friendship means understanding and respecting your priorities, not forcing you to compromise your goals.

Walking away from the cafeteria, you feel a mix of anger, relief, and sadness. It was painful to let go of friendships that had once meant so much to you, but you knew that your academic journey is more important than trying to fit into a mould that didn't truly represent who you were.

Tears well up in your eyes, and you can’t prevent them from spilling over as you stand just outside the school gates. You pay no mind to the curious glances of onlookers, for your emotions are too overwhelming to be hidden. You aren’t entirely certain if these tears are born of sadness, frustration, or a turbulent mix of both.

Without even thinking, you pull out your phone and dial Yunho’s number. You are not sure if you want to be alone tonight, yet you definitely do not want to go to a party. The only person you know will be available is Yunho. Maybe you can have an extra study session tonight.

It takes the phone only five seconds before Yunho picks up, his voice bright as he greets you.

"Hey, Yunho," you begin, attempting to maintain a sense of composure, but the tremor in your voice reveals your unease.

Yunho's keen ear picks up on the shakiness in your tone, and concern washes over him as he responds with a soft, soothing voice, "What's wrong?"

You sniffle, trying to brush off the emotions threatening to overcome you. "Nothing, it's nothing," you reply, your voice still carrying the traces of distress. "Are you free to study? I don't have anything to do, and I need to go over a few things."

Yunho is aware that a big party is scheduled for tonight, information he had gathered from Wooyoung, who also enjoys such gatherings. He finds it puzzling that you, too, had initially expressed an interest in attending the event, but he refrained from voicing his curiosity.

"I am free, but the library is closed today, and the school is closing soon too," Yunho explains, an idea begins to take root in his mind, and he hesitates before asking, "You could come to my place?"

The offer hangs in the air for a moment, full of unspoken implications. Yunho's excitement about the prospect of having you over is palpable, yet he tries to maintain his composure. He knows that his place will offer a quiet environment for studying.

The offer hangs in the air, and for a brief moment, you hesitate. You are well aware that accepting Yunho's invitation would signify a slight shift in your academic tutor relationship. The unspoken implications dance in the silence between you.

Yunho, on the other hand, finds his nervousness manifesting in the way he chews the inside of his cheek. His heart races as he awaits your response, unsure of how you would react to his proposition.

Despite your initial reservations, you can’t seem to bring yourself to decline his offer. The warmth and genuine concern that Yunho has consistently shown makes you feel safe and comfortable around him, and you find it difficult to resist the idea of studying in his presence, even if it means stepping slightly outside the boundaries of your tutor-student dynamic.

“What’s your address?” 

Making your way to Yunho's apartment, the anticipation of seeing him outside the usual academic setting adds an extra layer of excitement to your steps. The prospect of stepping into his personal space, even for a study session, feels like a small adventure.

You reach his apartment door and take a moment to collect yourself, your heart beating just a bit faster with each passing second. When you knock, the immediate rustling sounds from the other side of the door indicate that Yunho is indeed home.

The door opens, revealing a sight that takes your breath away. You are accustomed to seeing Yunho in smart attire, his hair always neatly styled, and he consistently looks presentable. However, the man who stands before you now is quite different.

Yunho is dressed in a loose grey T-shirt that hangs comfortably on his frame, and he wears a pair of black sweatpants that appear as cosy as they are casual. His hair is fluffy and untamed, in stark contrast to his usually well-groomed appearance. Yet, for some reason, this version of Yunho is just as captivating.

He still wears his thick glasses, but the way he looks now, so relaxed and approachable, makes your heart flutter. You can’t help but notice the subtle differences that render him all the more appealing. Your eyes linger on his toned arms, a part of him that was typically concealed beneath his attire. The sight of them, revealed in the simple T-shirt, is enough to send a rush of warmth throughout your body.

Yunho's appearance today is a stark departure from his usual academic demeanour, and it leaves you both pleasantly surprised and, admittedly, a little flustered. 

"Hey, uh, you can come in," Yunho stammers, a faint blush covering his cheeks.

You step inside, casting a brief but appreciative glance around Yunho's apartment. The space is on the smaller side, but it exudes a cosy charm that instantly puts you at ease. The apartment is immaculately clean and well-organised with a sense of tranquillity that contrasts with the bustling student life outside.

The living room is adorned with shelves, and the shelves are full of an impressive array of books, neatly arranged in rows. The sight of so many books gives you a glimpse into the depth of his knowledge and his passion for education.

As you look around, you notice a comfortable-looking sofa with a warm throw blanket tossed over it, a sign of a space that was both functional and inviting. The soft glow of a desk lamp illuminated a study area with a well-kept desk, hinting at countless hours of diligent work.

Yunho's apartment is not large, but it feels like a haven for anyone seeking a peaceful refuge from the outside world. It reminds you of Yunho.

"Do you want something to drink or eat?" Yunho asks, his voice tinged with a touch of nervousness as he observes your exploration of his apartment.

You take a moment to absorb the cosy ambiance of his living space before replying, "Have you had dinner?"

Yunho's cheeks flush a deeper shade of red, and a small, endearing smile graced his lips. “I haven't yet, I was going to order something later.”

“Can we eat together? I haven't eaten since this morning.”

Yunho grumbles your name, reprimanding you, "I told you, you need to eat regularly; it helps with..."

You finish his sentence with a soft chuckle, "Concentration, I know, Yu."

The use of the affectionate nickname "Yu" slips easily from your lips, and you are unaware of the profound impact it has on Yunho. His heart races at the sound of it, though he tries to hide his reaction with a smile. 

You continue, "We can eat while studying, right?" Your suggestion seems to lighten the mood, and Yunho is more than willing to accommodate your request.

“Of course.”

Yunho and you sit on the floor of his living room, your books and notes spread out on his coffee table, which also hold the remnants of an empty pizza box from your meal earlier. This makeshift study space is cosy, and the atmosphere is filled with the shared pursuit of knowledge.

Yunho is positioned in front of you, as he often is during your study sessions, carefully watching you as you diligently take notes. He couldn't help but admire your dedication and determination, and his heart swelled with pride as he saw your progress. 

As you write, a strand of hair slips from behind your ear and falls in front of your face. It is a simple, everyday occurrence, but to Yunho, it is a moment of subtle beauty. He feels a strong urge to reach out and tuck that strand of hair behind your ear, to be close to you in that small, intimate way. However, he holds back, not wanting to push any boundaries that existed between you. 

He watches with fascination as you decide to tie your hair up, using a hairband that was on your wrist. The act of gathering your hair and securing it in a ponytail seems almost magical to him. Yunho can’t deny the allure of how you look with your hair up, a sense of casual elegance that tugs at his heart.

In this moment, his thoughts stray to less innocent territories, but he quickly redirects his focus to the task at hand. He can’t afford to let his mind wander too far, not when the two of you are deep in a study session and he is fairly certain you would never harbour feelings for him in that way. 

However, the image of you with your hair tied up stays with him, etched into his memory, a reminder of the many facets of your charm that make it increasingly difficult for him to keep his feelings at bay.

You furrow your brows, attempting to decipher a particularly complex passage about pathogens. It is a subject that has always managed to baffle you, and tonight was no exception.

Glancing up, you are caught off guard by the intense gaze of Yunho. He was already intently staring at you, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. Clearing your throat, you shift your focus back to the book, feeling the weight of his attention. Yunho immediately averts his gaze, pretending to be engrossed in his own book.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to take a chance and ask the question that has been bothering you about the microorganism. "Yunho, can you help me with this? I don't quite understand this."

Yunho's attention snaps back to you, his eyes focusing on the book. However, as he leans in to get a better look, the words on the page seem to blur. Determined to help you, he moves closer, sitting next to you on the floor. His arm brushing against yours, his thigh lightly touching yours, creates a subtle yet undeniable physical connection.

Yunho looks down at your bare thighs and he mentally curses you for wearing a skirt, he isn't sure how to pay attention when you are so close to him.

Yunho begins to explain the terminology and you find it increasingly challenging to concentrate on the subject. Your eyes are locked on his face, drawn to the way his lips move and the subtle changes in his expression as he explains the concepts. His proximity was both distracting and comforting, and you can’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in your chest.

You cannot deny the allure of Yunho's presence. His crisp scent, a mix of a rich, woody sweetness and a hint of cologne, fills your senses and sends your mind racing. It is an intoxicating aroma that evokes a sense of freshness and warmth, creating an almost magnetic pull.

Listening to Yunho's explanations, you struggle to keep your focus on the topic at hand. Your eyes remain fixed on his face, capturing the play of emotions and the genuine care he puts into helping you understand. In this moment, the connection between you is undeniable, and the unspoken tension in the air seems to grow with each passing second. Little did you both know the profound effect you are having on each other as you lean against one another, on the verge of something unspoken. The second Yunho moves back to his seat, you suddenly feel awfully cold and empty, yet once again you push the feelings away.

The two of you continue your study session, when Yunho suddenly removes his glasses and rubs his eyes in a gesture of weariness. His actions catch your attention, and your gaze remains locked on his face, momentarily entranced by the change in his appearance.

In all the time you have spent with Yunho, you have never really taken into consideration how handsome he might be without his glasses. Now, as you observe his bare face, you are struck by his natural beauty. His features are chiselled and symmetrical, and there is a timeless quality to his face that make him incredibly appealing.

Yunho's clear eyes, framed by long, dark lashes, hold a depth that you haven't fully appreciated before. His skin was smooth and unblemished, and his lips had a natural rosy hue. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a different charm to him that you have never taken the time to notice.

For a moment, you find yourself in awe of how genuinely handsome he is, and you can’t help but appreciate the sight of him with his glasses off.

The study session is coming to a close, and as you gather your books and notes, you notice a curious look on Yunho's face. It is evident that he has something on his mind, and your curiosity gets the best of you.

"Is there something??" you inquire, your voice soft and inquisitive.

Yunho hesitates for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully. "When you called, you seemed upset. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I was just worried."

You look at him with a touch of surprise at his perceptiveness. 

The fight with your friends wasn’t something you had planned to discuss, but you can sense the genuine concern in Yunho's expression, and you feel compelled to share.

Taking a deep breath, you begin to explain the situation, recounting the immaturity and unfair accusations that had led to the fallout. Yunho's shock and disbelief at their behaviour is palpable, and his expression reveals a mix of sympathy and frustration on your behalf.

"I can't believe they'd act like that," Yunho exclaims, his voice laced with sympathy. "It's their loss, you know. You're an incredible person, and they're the ones who are missing out."

Yunho's words are comforting, and the warmth of his understanding makes you feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. It is a rare and welcome feeling to have someone truly empathise with your situation, and you find yourself grateful for his support.

Yunho watches you with a tender look when suddenly his curiosity gets the best of him, and he asks, "What does your boyfriend think of you coming to my house and spending so much time with me?"

You let out a sigh, the question touching a nerve you are not quite ready to address. "I don't have a boyfriend," you confess, and for a moment, there is a hint of vulnerability in your voice.

Yunho, genuinely surprised, raises an eyebrow, trying to hide his excitement as he peers at you. "Why not?"

You sigh again, your gaze dropping to the floor. "Most of the boys I'm around aren't ready for a relationship. They just want something casual, and I don't want to get my heart broken."

Yunho's brow furrows as he considers your response. "I didn't expect that," he admits, his voice tinged with surprise.

"What do you mean?" you ask, genuinely curious about his reaction.

Yunho sets a piece of paper he had been studying in front of him, "I mean, you have guys falling at your feet. Don't you have one person you enjoy spending time with?"

You ponder on his words, your eyes lingering on Yunho, who is now fully engaged in the paper. He isn't looking at you; instead, his gaze is focused on the words before him. 

After a moment of contemplation, you respond, "I enjoy spending time with you."

The second the  words leave your lips, Yunho looks up from his reading, and the world seems to momentarily stand still around you. His heart skips a beat, and for a fraction of a second, everything else fades into the background. Your words hang in the air, and Yunho lets them sink in.

In this suspended moment, it is as if the universe conspired to create a connection that went beyond friendship and tutoring. Yunho's heart pounds in his chest, and he can’t help but meet your gaze with a mixture of surprise and affection. 

Yunho cannot deny the impact of your confession. It is a sentiment he has quietly harboured but never dared to voice. Now, as the reality of your words settle in, he can’t help but feel a sense of joy and gratitude for the special bond that has grown between you, transcending the boundaries of tutor and student.

—

The night is alive with the promise of revelry as you arrive at a party, a whirlwind of colour and sound. It has been some time since you'd attended such an event, focusing intensely on your studies. But tonight is different. Hongjoong, an old friend who had no knowledge of falling out with your other friends, had invited you. You trusted him not to judge your academic priorities, and the prospect of enjoying yourself was too tempting to resist.

You had chosen to let loose for the evening. After an intense study session last night, you felt you deserved a break. You wear a stunning deep purple dress that hugs your curves, accentuating your figure in all the right places. The fabric clings to you like a second skin, and its elegance draws the admiring gazes of many in attendance. Though you are well aware of the attention, you can’t help but feel indifferent to it now. Your priorities have shifted, and the superficial desires of others hold little sway over you.

Entering the party, the vibrant atmosphere envelopes you. The music throbs with an infectious beat, and the dance floor pulses with people lost in the rhythm. Laughter and conversations fill the air, and the warm glow of colourful lights creates a dazzling backdrop for the night's festivities.

Spotting Hongjoong in the kitchen, you make your way through the bustling crowd. He is deeply engrossed in a lively conversation with some of his friends, a characteristic grin lighting up his face. A sense of nostalgia and anticipation welled up within you as you drew closer.

You approach Hongjoong, who is mingling near the drinks table, a welcoming smile on his face as he spots you. 

“Do you want a drink?” He offers, but you decline, stating that you have an early lecture the next morning. 

Hongjoong nods understandingly, knowing you are dedicated to your studies. You are grateful for his response, as he does not press the issue but simply smiles and continues with the conversation.

“So you’ve gone back to your nerd roots,” Hongjoong jokes as he hands you a cup of cola.

You laugh as you take the cup, “it’s been a while since I've studied this hard,”

“You were always stuck in a book in highschool,” 

“It’s nice to feel like my brain isn't rotting anymore,” you exclaim laughing.

“I’ll cheers to that,”

As you chat with Hongjoong, you enjoy catching up and the lively atmosphere of the party. When all of a sudden you see a familiar figure from the corner of your eye. At first, you thought your mind might be playing tricks on you, but as you turn your head, you realise it was indeed who you thought it was.

Quickly, you bid a quick goodbye to Hongjoong and make your way through the crowd, heading straight for the person, who seems to be stumbling around slightly. 

Concern etched on your face, you approach him and ask, "Yunho, what on earth are you doing here?"

Yunho's expression is a mix of surprise and embarrassment as he struggles to regain his composure. "Uh… I’m not really sure," he admits, his voice tinged with nervousness.

You can’t help but feel a combination of amusement and warmth at his unexpected presence. Yunho, who usually exudes an air of composed intelligence, seems to be a bit out of his element in the party scene. Nonetheless, you appreciated the effort he made to be there. 

"Are you okay?" You question, his anxious eyes dart around the crowded room, taking in the chaotic atmosphere of the party.

Yunho hesitates for a moment before admitting, "Would it be weird if I said I don't like it here?"

A warm smile graces your face, understanding his unease in this unfamiliar setting. Without hesitation, you reach out and gently grab his hand, your fingers interlocking boldly. Yunho is taken aback by the physical contact, feeling the warmth of your hand in his, and his heart flutters in response.

You lead him to a more secluded area of the house where the music is not as deafening, and the crowd is much thinner. The change of scenery provides a welcome respite from the overwhelming chaos of the main party area. Yunho can’t ignore the way your small hands feel in his large ones, the sensation sending a shiver down his spine. It is a simple gesture, but it makes him feel closer to you, dispelling some of his unease.

In the quieter, more secluded area of the house, you and Yunho find a temporary refuge from the bustling party. 

"What are you really doing here?" you ask, curiosity in your eyes.

Yunho's expression shifts, and he admits, "Wooyoung dragged me here. I didn't really want to come, and I already don't like it." His eyes scan the room, taking in the scene around him.

For a moment, Yunho's gaze settles on you, and he notices your choice of attire, a short, form-fitting dress that accentuates your curves. It is a striking sight that leaves an indelible impression on him. His mind wanders to non-innocent places, etching the image of you in this dress into his memory. He can’t deny that you look stunning, and his thoughts momentarily venture into uncharted territory.

Although his initial discomfort at the party has faded, the sight of you in that dress stirs something within him, something he has only thought of late at night. It is an unexpected sight that leaves Yunho in a state of internal turmoil, struggling to keep his thoughts in check as he tries to focus on the conversation at hand.

The pulsating music and the chaotic atmosphere of the party seems to close in around you. Suddenly a thought crosses your mind, and you turn to Yunho, considering your options.

"Do you want to get out of here?" you ask, your voice barely audible over the party noise.

Your question snaps Yunho out of his thoughts, and he looks back up at you as if he had been caught taking in your form. His gaze meets yours, and for a brief moment, you can see the vulnerability in his eyes. It is a rare sight, and it makes you feel even more connected to him.

It takes less than a second for Yunho to answer, "Yes."

Without further hesitation, he intertwines your fingers with his, and you both rush towards the exit of the house. Yunho's larger frame shields you from the reckless partiers who are going strong, ensuring you don't get caught in the chaos of the crowd. The touch of his hand is both reassuring and electrifying, and it feels like an unspoken agreement between the two of you; an escape from the madness into a more tranquil and intimate setting.

You are not sure how you ended up at Yunho’s apartment, yet you cannot quite complain. Since the study session at his house you have desired to be back at his, it was so comforting and peaceful in his house and you love it there. 

"You can make yourself at home, I'm going to grab us some food," Yunho explains as he opens the door to his cosy apartment. He moves to grab his wallet from the coffee table, ready to head out to pick up the food. 

However, as he attempts to pass you and make his way to the door, you stand in front of him, blocking his path. The look on your face reveals your disappointment, and it is clear that you don’t want him to leave so soon.

"Can we order it?" you ask, your voice filled with a longing for his company.

Yunho hesitates for a moment, weighing the options, but he ultimately replies, "It'll be quicker for me to get it now."

Despite his practical reasoning, you insisted, "Please stay with me Yunho."

Yunho can’t help but be touched by your plea. The vulnerability in your voice causes a flutter in his chest, and he is acutely aware of the genuine connection that has developed between you. He smiles and relents, realising that he doesn’t want to leave you either.

"Okay," he speaks softly, "I'll order it."

Your gratitude was evident in your eyes, and you knew you had made the right decision. Yunho's presence is something you cherished, and you are both beginning to understand just how much the other means to you.

You settle onto his couch, and soon enough the Chinese takeout that you had ordered arrives, the delightful aroma filling the room. It is a welcomed comfort that you both enjoy as you unwrap the containers and share the delicious meal. 

You watch as Yunho picks a movie that he recommends, and you were intrigued to see his choice.

As you and Yunho start to watch the movie, you can’t help but feel a chill in the room. The soft glow from the TV illuminated your silhouette, the short dress you are wearing now seems impractical in the cosy setting.

Yunho, ever attentive, notices your discomfort and decides to speak up. "Are you cold?" he inquires, a hint of concern in his voice.

You hesitate for a moment but soon admit, "Yeah, a little."

Without further ado, Yunho offers a solution. "I have some warmer clothes you can borrow if you want. I could grab them for you."

His thoughtful gesture leaves you flustered, but you manage to stammer out a grateful "Yes, please." Your heart warms at the consideration he shows, and you appreciate his willingness to make you more comfortable.

Yunho quickly gets up and disappears into his bedroom. He returns with a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, both of which were his own. His choice of clothing was deliberate, as he handed you his favourite hoodie. He has often wondered what you would look like wearing it, and now he has the perfect excuse to find out. The hoodie is warm and smells like him, making you feel closer to him in a way you hadn't anticipated.

Yunho can’t help but watch you with a warm smile as you accept the clothes. However, the smile quickly fades as he realises his mistake, and he feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"Oh, sorry," he quickly stutters out, chuckling nervously as he ruffles the back of his hair, "You can change in my bedroom."

You laugh gently at him, he is so cute.

“Thank you,” you smile before walking into his bedroom.

Entering Yunho's bedroom, you can’t help but take in the clean and organised space. His room is a testament to his meticulous nature, and you appreciate the attention to detail. But what truly catches your eye are the posters of various games adorning the walls. You admired the artwork and can’t help but think that they add a personal touch to the room.

Shaking off the distraction, you proceed to change into Yunho's clothes. The hoodie he has given you is larger than you expected, enveloping you in warmth and reaching down to your mid-thigh. The realisation of just how big Yunho begins to dawn on you.

His hoodie seems to swallow you in its comfort, and you can’t help but feel a little bit smaller. His physical presence is undeniable; he is taller than you, his shoulders are broad, and his hands are significantly larger than yours. The contrast is alluring, and you can’t deny that the thought of him towering over you, his sheer size and strength, stirs something within you.

You feel arousal pooling in between your legs, but you push aside the feeling, not sure if Yunho would feel the same way.

The hoodie is so long, you make a bold choice to not wear the sweatpants, seeing as the hoodie covers everything. Plus, there's no harm in seeing Yunho’s reaction.

You step out of the room, and Yunho is skimming between channels, trying to find a different movie to watch.

When Yunho hears your footsteps approaching the living room, he turns around to look at you, expecting to see you in his clothes. However, what he sees leaves his heart nearly stopping. There you stand, wearing nothing but his hoodie, your legs exposed and on full display. 

Yunho's breath catches in his throat, and he swallows deeply, trying to suppress the flood of sensations and indecent thoughts that surge through his mind. His cheeks flush a deep shade of red, and he is unable to tear his eyes away from you, his gaze inadvertently lingering on your enticing figure.

In this moment, he finds himself captivated by your beauty and the unexpected intimacy of the situation, struggling to maintain his composure. The sight of you in his hoodie was something he had never expected, and it sends his heart and mind into a whirlwind of emotions and desires.

"What's wrong?" you inquire, noticing the wide-eyed and bright red expression on Yunho's face as he gazes at you with an intensity you haven't seen before.

It is as if a switch has flipped in Yunho's mind, and suddenly, confidence takes over his being. You watch in amazement as he stands up from the couch and moves with a determined purpose towards you. 

With each step, it is evident that he is almost out of breath, his chest heaving with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. He stops in front of you, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sends shivers down your spine. For a moment, you feel like you are the only person in the world for him, and the possessiveness in his gaze doesn’t go unnoticed.

Yunho's large hands land gently on your shoulders, and they slowly trail down to clasp yours. His touch is electrifying, and as he guides you backward, you soon find yourself pressed against the wall, pinned there by his presence. The air seems charged with an unspoken desire, and you can’t help but be captivated by this new side of Yunho.

Yunho murmurs your name, his voice thick with desire and uncertainty. He continues, "You can tell me to stop if you want..."

You don’t hesitate for a moment. In a hushed, eager tone, you reply, "Yunho, just kiss me for fuck's sake."

Yunho gently cups your cheek, his dark eyes locked onto yours with a mixture of tenderness and desire. Leaning closer, his lips press against your cheek, leaving a trail of fire in their wake as they venture down toward your mouth. He pauses for a moment, watching you closely, his breath brushing across your face, sending shivers down your spine.

With careful consideration, he presses his lips to the corner of your mouth, testing the waters, and eliciting a soft gasp from you. Feeling the tightening grip of your hand on his shirt, he gains the reassurance he needs to continue. Slowly, he deepens the kiss, his lips melding with yours, the softness and warmth sending a wave of astonishment through your body. His lips move against yours and all the feelings of the past few months pour into the kiss.

Yunho delicately probes his tongue into your mouth, you can’t help but respond. Your fingers tighten their hold on his shirt, and a surge of electric sensations course through your body, leaving you breathless and eager for more. 

Yunho's kiss tastes like pure indulgence, a blend of desire and longing that leaves you yearning for more. The feeling is exquisite, and you can’t help but moan softly in response to the intensity of the moment. 

His lips leave yours, trailing down your neck from the curve of your jaw. Soft gasps escape your lips as he explores the sensitive skin of your throat, sending shivers down your spine as he presses you harder against the wall, the heat of the kiss overcoming the two of you. The pleasure is overwhelming, and you instinctively threw your head back, granting him better access to your neck. 

Yunho breaks away from the kiss, a hint of frustration in his eyes as he tosses his glasses aside, irritated by their intrusion. His dark and intense gaze is now fully revealed, making you realise the depth of his desire. Without delay, he reconnects your lips with a hungry passion that leaves you breathless.

His hands begin a journey down your waist, their touch igniting sparks of pleasure. With astonishing ease, he lifts you off your feet, his strength both surprising and exciting. Instinctively, you wrap your legs around his waist, and that is when you feel his hardness prodding you through your underwear. You suddenly feel extremely thankful for not wearing the sweatpants as he now has easier access to where you want him most.

Yunho carries you toward his bedroom with an air of urgency, his strides confident and determined. With a swift, well-placed kick, he sends the bedroom door wide open.

He gently sits on the edge of the mattress, you find yourself in his lap, the warmth of his body enveloping you. The world outside fades into insignificance, and you are left with a sense of anticipation that sends shivers down your spine. The connection between you and Yunho grew stronger, and the intensity of the moment only heightened your desire for one another.

Yunho’s hands travel to your hips, where he kneads the flesh appreciatively. With a calculated move, he pushes you down onto himself, grinding you against his hardness. This causes the both of you to moan into the kiss, the both of you addicted to the sound.

“Yunho, please,” you mutter into the kiss, needing relief that you know Yunho will provide.

“What do you want, beautiful?” Yunho groans back against your lips when he feels you grinding yourself onto him.

“You.” you say with confidence, “always been you.” you declare and it has Yunho’s heart racing even faster in his chest.

Yunho realises the fun he can have in this situation, and he feels addicted to the control he has over you. You bury your face into Yunho’s neck, your embarrassment becoming apparent.

“How badly?” Yunho teases as he places long hot kisses on the side of your neck.

“Please Yunho, please.” usually you would feel humiliated, yet you have no time to feel any form of embarrassment, your desire is too strong. With a swift yet tender movement, Yunho deftly flips the two of you over, your back now resting on the plush comfort of his bed. He settles between your open legs, the space between you filled with electrifying anticipation as the world around you blurred into obscurity. 

“Since you’re such a good girl, I have to take care of you, don’t I?”

Yunho's transformation is nothing short of mesmerising. The once innocent aura that surrounded him has gone, replaced by a commanding presence that leaves your head spinning. It is as if he has unlocked a hidden side of himself, and the intensity of his actions and words leave you completely captivated and yearning for more.

With a gentle motion, Yunho pulls the hoodie off, revealing your bare chest to his hungry eyes. He takes in the sight of your naked top half and your panties and it is better than all the times he has imagined it. Your nipples immediately harden in the chilly air and you hastily rush to cover yourself.

“Do not,” Yunho's gentle yet commanding voice holds you in its sway, preventing you from covering yourself. He takes hold of your wrists, his words alone enough to convey his desire, and you obediently nod in agreement, unable to resist his irresistible influence.

“Gorgeous,” he whispers as he scans over your body.

Yunho begins to leave soft kisses across your collar bones, reaching your shoulders and neck as he simultaneously massages the flesh of your breast. He leaves open mouthed kisses on your skin, suckling and biting marks into your skin that only he gets to see.

Slowly, he takes one nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, sucking it, and biting the sensitive nub, an action that has you arching and moaning into his touch.

“You sound so beautiful moaning for me.” Yunho growls before moving to your other nipple and giving it the same attention, making sure to watch your every reaction.

In an agonising pace, Yunho trails his kisses down and you can almost feel yourself shaking from excitement as he nears where you need him the most.

You almost explode the second you feel Yunho’s mouth trailing along your thighs, his teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh.

Yunho chuckles darkly when he hears your excited gasps and moans, the sounds are like a beautiful melody to him, causing him to want more.

Yunho's sudden act of sitting up to remove his jumper catches your attention, and your eyes remain fixated on him. What you see beneath his clothes surprises you. His toned, well-defined upper body, his waist is slender, his shoulders are broad, giving him a somewhat hourglass-like figure. While he isn’t overly muscular, his physique was indeed a captivating sight. Chiselled abs adorn his stomach, and an irresistible desire wells up within you, compelling you to kiss every inch of his flawless skin.

Yunho's chest swells with pride as he observes your intense gaze on his body. He can hardly believe the turn of events and the desire he sees in your eyes.

Yunho smirks as your hands fumble towards his belt, desperately wanting his pants off. 

"Patience, doll," Yunho asserts, his voice exuding confidence as he helps you remove his belt.

Left in only his boxers, you can see his length outlined through his black boxers and your breath is momentarily taken away. He is big, very big. You cannot help but let out a whimper of desperation as you look back up Yunho, who has a cocky grin on his features.

Leaning down, he starts placing light kisses on your stomach and thighs, getting close, but not quite close enough for your liking.

Instinctively, you run your fingers through his locks, trying to push him closer to where you need him. You hear Yunho chuckle at your eagerness, his heart racing knowing you want him as much as he wants you.

You watch Yunho’s every move, wanting to imprint every moment deep into your memory.

Yunho presses a gentle kiss against your clothed core, eliciting a soft mewl from your lips and Yunho hums in appreciation. You feel your whole body heat up in embarrassment as Yunho pulls your panties down, tossing them to the side of the room. You attempt to close your legs, feeling extremely exposed. Yunho feels himself losing self control as he looks at your soaking core, yet he tells himself to control his urges, wanting to make this last for much longer.

Yunho isn’t pleased with this and he lets out a growl as he speaks, “open those legs and let me see that pretty pussy.”

He grips your thighs, forcing them open and you can't help feel another rush of arousal course through you from his strength. It annoys you how slow he is, taking his time to get where you need him, he is too busy enjoying every small reaction, your desperation and eye fucking you, gauging every one of your gasps and twitches.

Yet the second his lips are on your core, the loud moan you let out is close to a scream and you feel him raviging you. His mouth works expertly against you, his tongue alternating between flicking your clit to lapping at your soaking hole has you seeing stars. 

Your body squirms with pleasure under Yunho's skilled touch, your fingers instinctively weaving into his hair as he eats you like you are his last meal.

“Yunho, please…” your voice is hoarse as you look down at him.

Yunho gazes up at you, a teasing smirk playing on his lips, making your thoughts hazy.

“Please what, pretty?” Yunho questions, yet as you are about to answer, he slips in one of his long fingers into your core. The second he feels your warm walls around him, he feels himself fighting the urge to destroy you right there and then. You jolt at the sensation, tears lining your eyes because of how desperate you are to be filled by him.

“Want you…need you…” you say, your voice shaky as you throw your head back against the pillow.

“Oh baby,” Yunho tuts, his voice almost condescending as he stares up at your fucked out state, “your pussy is so tight, I need to prep you before, don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Yunho's words send another wave of desire coursing through your veins. The contrast between his stern tone and his evident care for your well-being leaves you feeling both dizzy and achingly needy.

“You don't want to get hurt, do you now?” Yunho questions, gently slapping your thigh to get your attention back on him.

“No, I don’t,” you exclaim, doing anything to please the man in front of you. 

“Good girl,” 

He's ruthless, entering another finger into your wet hole, his tongue alternating sucks and nips on your clit. With ease, he manages to find the spot inside you that sets fireworks through you and you feel the coil in your belly starting to tighten in pleasure. 

"So fucking good, doll." He groans, his face pressed against your core has your cunt throbbing. “Can you even take my dick? I don’t want to hurt you when you’re being so good for me.”

You feel yourself on the edge of an orgasm, desperate to topple over the edge. All you need is a little encouragement, and you're extremely glad Yunho is so good at reading you.

“Let loose, baby. Be a good girl and cum on my fingers.” 

You let out a loud moan, almost a scream as your orgasm hits you and Yunho holds your shaking body down, licking your clit softly as you finish.

Before you can finish riding through your high, Yunho continues to kiss your pussy gently while adding a finger, the sudden stretch in your hole has you whining and writhing around from the sensitivity, his rough movements from his long fingers has you shaking even more. You beg for him to slow down and, thankfully he leans back, a satisfied smirk on his face as he watches you twitch beneath him.

Before you can comment on anything, Yunho leans down and captures you in another heated kiss, and you moan when you can taste yourself on his lips, a new rush of arousal flooding through your body.

“Do you want to keep going? We can stop if you want to.” Yunho's voice, filled with concern, warms your heart, but you can't help the groan that escapes your lips. 

"I’d love to continue," you rush on your words, your enthusiasm unabated. Chuckling at your eagerness, Yunho moves back slightly, running a hand through his hair as he gazes down at you, a mix of pride and desire evident in his eyes as he looks at your fucked out state.

“Wait shit, I don't know if i have a condom,” Yunho says, worried as he ruffles through his bedside table, not able to find any.

“Wait really?” you question, not even the slightest bit worried about him not having a condom, in fact you almost try to hide your excitement, “it’s okay.” 

“What?” 

“We don't need it, I'm on the pill.” You exclaim, pulling him by his hand closer to you, so he sits on the bed next to you.

Yunho is taken aback by your boldness, yet he finds it extremely hard to hide his excitement. The low groan that escapes his lips doesn't go unnoticed by you, further fueling the growing intensity of the moment. Yunho looks up at you, his eyes dark as he studies your face for any form of discomfort. When he doesn't see any, he almost moans at the thought of finishing inside of you. “Fuck, baby. You're going to be the death of me.”

The second Yunho removes his boxers, your mouth is almost watering at the sight of his length. Not only is he long, but he is girthy, standing tall. Your mouth hangs slightly open as you take in the sight. You can feel your pussy throbbing at the thought of how well he is going to stretch you out.

“Like what you see?” Just like that, the caring Yunho is once again replaced with the cocky Yunho that you just love.

Instead of firing the bratty comment that is on the tip of your tongue, you simply nod your head, too overcome with the need for him to just destroy you.

Yunho leans over you again, spreading your legs wide to fit right between them, he takes his time rubbing up and down your slit, gathering your arousal to lube himself up. Your whines and whimpers are like music to his ears, and he doesn't know if he can ever get enough of you like this.

Lining up with your entrance, he takes his time to gently slide just the tip in, causing you to gasp lightly. Yunho buries his head into your neck, biting his lip as he attempts to maintain his composure. He knows he needs to take it slow in order to not hurt you, but the way you are clenching around him has his mind spinning with arousal.

He gets back up, his intense gaze watching your every expression as he eases himself in, going at a steady pace. The sting is definitely present and you squint at the light pain.

“Deep breaths, beautiful. You’re doing so well.” 

You grab his toned arms as he pushes himself further in, his own breaths getting shallow as he feels your warm walls envelop his length.

‘Stay focused, Yunho,’ he thinks to himself, over and over, desperately trying to keep his composure, yet it proves more difficult by every passing second that your tight pussy sucks him in.

Pleasure surges through you but the only thing you are able to focus on is how full you feel. Your breath catches in your throat and you tense up as he gradually bottoms out, groaning, "So big."

“Yeah, does it feel good?” Yunho’s voice is raspy as he cages you in his arms, his eyes scanning your face.

“So good… please move.” is all you manage to say.

Yunho starts with some slow, teasing thrusts dragging his cock out before pushing it back in and it has you mewling out in pleasure.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” Yunho chokes out, his sanity practically gone as he feels your tight walls hugging his cock so nicely.

The beautiful sight of him on top of you, sweaty and lust ridden has you moaning and clenching around his cock. Wrapping your arms tightly around his strong back, your nails dig into his skin as he increases his pace. 

"Does this feel good, pretty?"

You are only able to manage out a moan of approval, letting him know, yes, he is doing good. Yunho chuckles against your skin as you let out noises of pleasure, every one spurring him on and making him desperate to make you finish again. In a purposeful movement, Yunho leans his hips back slightly, so his cock is angled in a way where it hits your g spot perfectly with every thrust. Yunho knows he has found it the second your words and moan become a mixed blabbing mess, with this he smirks. He almost doesn't want to stop, he is having too much fun with you.

Yunho grunts as he starts thrusting even faster, his hand coming down to flick your clit, needing you to come on his cock. He needs you to finish before him.

You feel your orgasm approaching fast, and Yunho can tell by the way you clench and claw at his arms, pulling him down to lock him in a heated kiss, he swallows your moans and whimpers happily.

Yunho pulls away from your swollen lips to bury his face in your neck, whispering praise into your ear. 

“Who is making you feel this good, doll?” he whispers in his deep voice, “do you want to cumm, pretty girl? Be a good girl and cum on my big dick, I know you want to.”  

The coil in your belly tightens even more, your legs starting to shake around him as you moan out his name pathetically. 

“That’s it, beautiful, milk my cock dry.” 

“Need to cum,”

Yunho’s chest tightens at the desperate tone in your voice and for a moment, he knows he is definitely able to get used to your desperate whines.

“Go ahead, baby cum for me, let the whole neighbourhood know how good I’m making you feel.”

That's all it takes for the coil in your stomach to snap, and your orgasm hits you hard. Intense pleasure ripples through you like tsunami waves, shaking your whole body and making your toes curl as your fingernails dig into his arms. The sensation overwhelms you as your world narrows down to the electrifying connection you share with Yunho.

Yunho follows in suit, his hips stuttering as he cums deep inside of you, his choked swears and moans in your ear as he wraps his strong arms around you, securing you in a tight embrace as the two of you ride out your orgasms.

After a few moments of silence, the only sounds to be heard in the room are the deep inhales and exhales of you and Yunho, the two of you lost in the aftermath of your passionate encounter. The intimacy lingers in the air, wrapping around you like a warm, comfortable blanket.

Yunho gently sits up, his arms shaky as he tries to regain his composure. A layer of sweat covers his face, and even in the low light of his room, you think he looks absolutely handsome. His dishevelled hair and flushed cheeks only add to his charm, and you can't help but admire him as he catches his breath.

Slowly, he pulls out, his seed spilling out of your swollen hole, a sight which has Yunho getting hard once again, yet he pushes the thoughts to the side and quickly rushes to the bathroom to grab a washcloth for you.

You can't help but feel a wave of insecurity and vulnerability as Yunho steps away to fetch the washcloth. The moment he disappears from your sight, a rush of unease washes over you, and tears begin to pool in your eyes. You never expected this level of intimacy, and now, seeing him leave even briefly, you fear he might be having second thoughts.

When he returns with the washcloth, he immediately notices the glistening tears in your eyes. Panic sets in, and he rushes to your side, cradling you in his arms.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice filled with genuine concern. "Did I do something to upset you?"

You sniffle and shake your head. "I'm sorry. I thought you disappeared for good, and I got scared."

Yunho's expression softens as he caresses your cheek, his thumb gently wiping away a tear. "Oh, baby, I would never do that. I promise you, I'm here for you. I'm so sorry for putting that thought in your mind."

He holds you close, offering the warmth and comfort you desperately need, reassuring you that he's not going anywhere.

“Yunho?” You look towards Yunho, whose gaze is already set on you with an affectionate gaze. Tenderly, he pushes a stray hair behind your ear, and a sense of comfort washes over you.

Leaning down, he places a soft kiss on your forehead, murmuring, "Yes, baby?"

Your heart flutters at the endearment as you continue, "What are we?"

Yunho raises an eyebrow, his lips quirking into a warm smile. He knew this question was coming, and he's more than prepared to answer. "Well, if you'll have me, I'd love to be your nerdy boyfriend."

A surge of happiness fills you, and you can't hold back your grin. "Only if you'll have me as your 'not so nerdy' girlfriend?"

Yunho chuckles and cups your face with his hands, sealing the moment with a sweet kiss. "Deal," he whispers against your lips, his arms wrapping even harder around you, securing you in a warm embrace.

“Let’s clean you up, pretty.”

—

“Sitting in Professor Turner's office, you're feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness. Yunho is right beside you, his presence giving you comfort and assurance. Professor Turner, the mentor you deeply respect, and her opinion matters greatly to you. You've been working tirelessly to improve your grades, and this is the moment of reckoning. To tell whether you are going to be expelled or not.

Professor Turner reviews your recent exam results, and you can't help but glance at Yunho. He's been your constant support, helping you study, explaining complex concepts, and motivating you to push your limits. There's a fond smile on his face, his warm eyes reflecting his pride in your accomplishments.

Finally, Professor Turner finishes her review and looks up at you with an encouraging smile. "I don't know how you did it, but your grades have not only improved, they have excelled. You are somehow one of the best in my class right now."

Your heart swells with pride as you realise the significance of her words. Tears fill your eyes and you feel the heavy weight that has been on your heart for months finally lift.

Yunho's proud smile widens, and the love in his eyes grows even more apparent. You feel a deep sense of accomplishment and happiness, knowing that with his help and your dedication, you've managed to exceed your own expectations and impress one of your most respected professors.

You look over at Yunho, gratitude shining in your eyes, and say,

"Well, I had an amazing tutor."

{i didnt proof read this, so if you see mistakes i apologise, im very tired}

[voidfluid]

making vent art again can you tell I'm at my lowest

[jgracie]

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

masterlist | rules

❝ Can you please writhe a one shot with Jason and daughter of Psyche reader based on the song “I can fix him(no really i can)” by Taylor?Like imagine some time later when Jason is finally free from his demigod duties and goes to college with his friends,here he meets reader.Since she is a daughter of Psyche (the goddess of the human soul)she understands him immediately and she help him understand himself,discovering what he likes and to heal from his past and of course they fall in love. ❞ — anon

in which they shook their heads saying “god help her,” when you tell ‘em he’s your man

pairing jason grace x psyche!reader

warnings feelings of self loathing, slight bullying

on the radio . . . i can fix him (no really i can) (taylor swift)

an they r in new rome uni in this !! i feel like jason is a tad ooc but also its 11:30pm as im posting this and im tired

Everything you heard about Jason Grace screamed ‘red flag’. Son of Jupiter, ex-praetor, raised by wolves then sent to camp at the mere age of three or four - what was there not to be afraid of? To add to that, the way he carried himself exuded power in a way that would make anyone cower in fear. His face was inscrutable, crystal blue eyes unreadable in the same way the storms his father made were

However, you weren’t anyone. Your mother was Psyche, goddess of the soul. And as a daughter of Psyche, you could see right through just about everyone, including Jason Grace. Whenever you tapped into his energy, you couldn’t help but feel he was the complete opposite of what he presented himself as. While Jason seemed content with solitude to everyone around him, you knew that deep down, he was just seriously misunderstood and in desperate need for some loving

You were right. Jason’s life had been hell, especially the past couple years. His memory had been taken away from him, making him lose ties with all his friends and a potential lover, Reyna. Then, he’d gotten a new girlfriend and new friends, only for his girlfriend to dump him and his friends to all be too busy to spend a single second with him. Still, Jason had persevered. He applied and got accepted to New Rome University, he attended all his lectures, he got perfect grades, he tried his best to socialise. 

The latter never worked out though. People either saw him as Jason the traitor, the guy who’d chosen to leave with the Greeks instead of fighting for his camp (Jason would stifle a laugh at the phrase ‘his camp’ - if this were really his camp, they wouldn’t have easily found a guy who’s the epitome of everything un-Roman to replace him. They weren’t any better), or as Jason the soldier, the man who’d toppled Kronos’ throne and won in a fight against the titan Krios, absolutely untouchable and worshipped in a way that would make his father seethe with jealousy

Eventually, he gave up. If that’s how they wanted him to be, so be it. He shut himself off from the world, focusing solely on his studies and his plans for shrines for every God and Goddess. Little did he know, a certain someone was formulating the perfect plan to become his friend

Your plan backfired. You’d spent weeks keeping note of all the classes you had with Jason, even occasionally following him to see where he’d go after class (his dorm, immediately), and yet you couldn’t seem to get a single conversation out of him. The closest you’d gotten was when you sat next to him in one of your lectures and dropped your pen - he’d simply handed it to you without a word. For the split-second your fingers brushed, you took on all his pain and felt it pull you apart. How could he cope with all of this baggage? 

Luckily for you, the fates work in mysterious ways that in this case, happened to be in your favour

“Oh, I’ll leave. Sorry.” Someone mumbled from behind you. You had been having a hard time sleeping as it was exam season, meaning everyone’s late night stress as they did last minute cram sessions piled onto you, so you decided to go to the one place you knew would be quiet. It was a small garden you’d discovered as a freshman and dubbed as ‘your spot’, and you’d often come when you were feeling extra overwhelmed

Turning your head, your eyes widened as you saw none other than Jason Grace, who was about to go back to his dorm

“No, wait! You can stay, I don’t mind,” this was a first for Jason. Usually, people would go the other way at the sight of him, not offer to let him sit with them. He felt a gut-wrenching, yearning feeling in his stomach, and you felt it too. Softly, you patted the spot on the bench next to you. It was quiet between you, but with that simple gesture, you had made an everlasting mark in Jason’s mind

After that night, instead of leaving his bag on the seat next to him, Jason would put it on the floor in hopes that you’d see the empty seat and choose to sit there. You, ever the empath, did. The more you sat with Jason, the more words were said between you. You started the conversations, of course, asking him about his day and telling him about whatever minor inconvenience you had that morning

“I ran out of toothpaste,” Jason had said to you one day as you took your laptop out of your bag. This was his first time initiating a conversation. He wasn't sure why he did it, and cringed internally the moment those words came out of his mouth - toothpaste, Jason, really? - but you’d smiled and asked if he wanted to come with you to the shops after class, since you also needed to stock up on some supplies

That was the day Jason’s walls began crumbling down. Suddenly, he seemed to loosen up. His posture slackened and he smiled more often, told more jokes and even engaged in your banter. People gave the two of you weird looks as you walked around New Rome in fits of laughter, but neither of you cared 

Well, not until one fateful day. Jason had been making his way to class with two coffees in hand, one for you and one for himself, when he’d overheard two people deep in conversation. He’d never been one to eavesdrop, but when he heard your name being mentioned, he couldn’t help himself

“That poor girl, she has absolutely no idea what she’s getting herself into,” one of them said. The other hummed in agreement, pity laced in his voice 

“She thinks she’s doing a good thing, being friends with him and all, but he’s just going to break her heart like he did Reyna’s. Jason Grace is no good.”

He nearly dropped his coffees. Suddenly, all the confidence he’d built came crumbling down, being quickly replaced with those walls he knew all too well, the only things he could trust other than you. Since he loved you so dearly, this was for the best. You’d find some other guy to befriend eventually. If all of Camp Jupiter could replace him after years of service, who’s to say you couldn’t after a couple months of being friends?

Coincidentally, you happened to be looking for Jason when you saw him standing there, a blank look on his face - the same one people had warned you about in your first year at NRU. This time, however, they didn’t have a fighting chance in fooling you. Even without your powers from being Psyche’s daughter, you knew Jason was a sweet guy with the kindest heart

“Jason, are you alright?” You asked, reaching to place a tender hand on his shoulder. He pulled away and your face dropped as you tuned into his feelings and realised the old Jason was making a comeback. It’s not like he’d ever been gone, no one ever gets rid of lifelong trauma and horrible experiences that quickly, but Jason’s aura hadn’t felt that self-loathing in a very long time

Looking behind you, you saw a couple give you a pitying look and the pieces clicked immediately. Scowling at them, you took Jason by the arm and dragged him to that garden where you first spoke. The garden that was no longer just your spot

“Whatever they said, I don’t care,” you told him, “they’re wrong, Jason. You can’t listen to them. From the moment I met you I knew they were wrong. Don’t let them win.” His eyes stared into yours, completely emotionless. His guard was up, and you didn’t know why (slight btd ref!!). Didn’t he trust you? 

His voice monotone, Jason replied, “this isn’t just about them, Y/N. You have no idea what I’ve been through. You don’t deserve to have to deal with that, it could affect you too. You could be making so many friends right now and yet you haven’t, because you chose to stick with me.”

The tension rose between you and you knew there was only one thing you could do: succumb to the pull he had on you once and for all. Grabbing him by the collar, you pulled Jason closer to you and kissed him fiercely

When you pulled away, you took a second to take in Jason’s dishevelled look before replying, “I don’t care. I’ll choose to stick with you in every lifetime.”

[atom-writings]

Can you do headcanon about 2p russia with s/o with golden retriver energy?

2p! hetalia russia with a golden retriver s/o

0.8k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: yuri is not a . perfect boyfriend

a/n: SORRY GUYS . i want to write more but my life is a continuous train wreck. im doing my best. i care about u all so much :sob:

- This dynamic would be a classic, a ray of sunshine and a ray of darkness. Except, I would say that no matter how upbeat you are, Yuri can bring you down.

- When you two first met, he was incredibly... rude. He saw how excitable you are, and his immediate reaction was to try to break that spirit by whatever means possible. Of course, he didn't do this just to be mean. He sees your kindness as a weakness.

- Yuri does not like weak people.

- But if you keep up that manic puppy energy despite his protests, he'll start to see it differently. Yes, you're overly caring, but you can't be brought down as easily as he's seen others fall.

- That's what got him interested at first. If you can withstand his incessant verbal abuses, then clearly you're stronger than he thought. So that gets him thinking, why? Now he's curious.

-  He wouldn't apologize for his past behaviour but would start trying to be nicer, at least. And as you warm up more to him, he warms up to you.

- Once he gets to know you, his attitude completely switches. Before, he would've smacked that dopey smile off your face in a heartbeat, but now, he'd do anything to protect it.

- Suddenly, it seems like everything in your life is going wrong in (admittedly minor) ways that only he can fix. Your sink doesn't work? Guess who was already in the neighbourhood. Yuri was, and every second he doesn't spend complaining about being used for free labour will be used for trying to suppress his stupid smile.

- He'd never let you see him be sensitive like that. Never when you're just friends, and only sometimes when you're dating. Sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall!

- If you try talking about your feelings towards him, he'll run in the other direction.

- It's unlikely that he'd confess first, but even so, he'd like to ask you out before you ask him! And if you try getting more emotional about it, he'll just try desperately to avoid you.

- He has the emotional intelligence of a potato and the social battery of a TV remote. So your endless positivity... freaks him the hell out.

- But if you two figure it out, he'd be a surprisingly ok boyfriend other than the fact that he won't accompany you to any social gathering.

- (If he does, he'll just be your weird scary dog that follows you around. He is not doing any socialising of his own and he is asking to leave before 6 pm to watch the news.)

- Yuri has quite a temper, but it's rarely directed towards you. He'll scream at the TV every day, but only scream at you once a month when he's drunk.

- He's weirdly patient when it comes to your feverish excitement. You bouncing around the house, singing songs, and generally acting like a fairy, can't even force his head out of his book.

- In fact, some of the only times he'll ever smile, is at your postivity. When he sees you nearly cry at a video of a puppy growing up, he chuckles to himself and acts like he just finds it childish. But really, he's gonna be thinking about that moment the rest of the day.

- Plus, he thinks it's pretty cute if you dress all bright too. You, with your loud summer clothing, versus his dollar store goth aesthetic, creates a picture that he likes a lot.

- If you ever got overly excited and broke anything, Yuri wouldn't be mad. He'll scold you like he would a child, but he's pretty excited to have something to fix.

- He does draw the line at indulging in your wild impulses. No, he won't take you nor let you go on a random cross-country road trip. That's how people get murdered, you know?

- Also, he'll always say no to buying you anything, but end up caving later. If you ask for a plushie, he'll tell you they're for children, but then you'll wake up to find that plushie in his place in bed.

- You make him soft. Not actually soft, but soft for Yuri.

- Because of that, you're not coming to anything that has people he knows. Then they'll see how... weak you make him! He has a reputation. Whenever you're in public, he immediately becomes very cruel and demanding because of this.

- He's a little embarrassed not just about how much control you have over him, but also because... you were never who he pictured spending his life with. He always wanted some traditional marriage with two depressed people who hate each other, but now he's HAPPY? Horrible.

- But you do make him feel young. Now he can't bear the thought of anything happening to you, so he's not gonna leave anytime soon.

- So, basically, GOLDEN RETRIEVER PARTNER. You can do better. But if you make it through all of his desperate attempts to keep everyone at arm’s length… it’ll be at least a little worth it.

[scaranation]

hi is it alright if i request modern au kaeya inviting a very introverted and awkward reader to a party he's hosting bc he really likes her and she has her first kiss with him there. thank you <333

yeah it’s been about two months since I got this request… IM GOING TO STOP SLACKING OFF I SWEAR BUT THIS WAS SO GOOD 😭😭

As an introvert myself I feel like writing this was low key projecting but Kaeya’s such a comfort character oml <33

༊*·˚ 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓

Pairing: Kaeya x Reader

Content: Fluff, shy reader, mentions of alcohol, pining (modern au)

a/n - just realised the last line seems mildly suggestive, it rlly isn’t supposed to be but just interpret it how u want ig 😀😀

You and Kaeya were two very different people. Whilst he was always the centre of attention, the epicentre of every crowd of people, and the object of countless people's affections, you were the one who's name was easily forgotten. He was outgoing, and you went out of your way to avoid interaction. Not because you hated it, but because you were afraid of messing up. That student that greeted everyone good morning when entering the lecture hall? You'd take the other route to prevent embarrassing yourself with a response that was too short, or delivered in the wrong way. You were the type to curb your steps to avoid bumping into someone you knew but weren't comfortable enough to awkwardly walk next to, whilst Kaeya would speed up at the possibility of a conversation.

All in all, it almost seemed as if you two lived in different worlds. He was socially adept, easily making small talk. His laugh could be heard from the other end of the auditorium, the ring of people surrounding him laughing too in agreement with whatever he'd said. Every word that left his lips was so seamless, so natural. Even the letters K.A always made all students at Daena University think of the same person, every eyepatch conjured up the blue-haired man's unmistakable image. He was, quite literally, the pinnacle of popularity - an icon at your university. You'd met him in middle school at a holiday program, and had been comfortable talking to him for those weeks. His outgoing nature had shocked you when you met him in university. Assuming that he wouldn't want to socialise with someone as unknown and irrelevant as you, you only avoided him. Unlike magnets, human opposites do not attract.

On the other hand, Kaeya desperately sought after you. Due to you adamantly pretending not to know him, he almost thought you'd forgotten him - but the glance you'd send his way every once in a while suggested otherwise. He was a little hurt at the drastic measures you took to avoid him, and tried to take any opportunity he could to catch up with you. Your avoiding skills, however, surpassed his socialising skills. Especially with the throng of people he seemed to have permanently attached to him, it was difficult for him to talk to you.

News about Kaeya’s party spread fast.

It seemed that everywhere you turned, there were people talking about it - snatches of conversation in the hallways, excited whispers snaking through courtyards. The only thing was, the party was highly exclusive. Only the social elites were invited, and the rest tousled amongst themselves for an invite.

You trudged wearily down the corridor, tired. Nobody would stop talking about the party. It was as if the very air of the campus was electrified in anticipation for the coming Friday night. The most popular guy hosting a massive, exclusive get-together at his presumably massive house? The event was on everyone’s mind, whether they liked it or not.

“Hey,” you felt a light tap on your shoulder as you strode hurriedly to your next class. It was Kaeya, the very man everyone was speaking of.

“Hi, I’ve uh, got to go to my lecture. We can talk later,” you smiled awkwardly, eyes darting around to look for an exit.

“Wait! I’m hosting a party this Friday, and I was wondering if you could come…” Kaeya handed you an envelope, almost sheepish.

“… What?” You looked at the invite, confused. In your very hands was the thing everyone had been dying to get their hands on, the object of attention for the past week.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, I just thought it would be nice if you could. Maybe we could catch up?” Kaeya winked.

“Oh,” you pressed your lips into a line.

“I don’t want to force you or anything, don’t feel like it’s compulsory. It’ll just be some fun, yeah?” Kaeya added quickly. His smooth smile did little to quell his heart. Sure, he could arbitrarily hand out dozens of invitations to random people, but this was the one he cared about.

“Yeah, I’ll come,” you did your best to smile genuinely. Kaeya’s face lit up as he grinned in response. He opened his mouth to say something else, but you quickly ducked away before he could. You didn’t hate him, but you didn’t want to prolong that awkward conversation, either.

“Why are you in such a good mood?” Diluc muttered, watching with mild irritation as his half brother dashed into the house with an almost giddy delight.

“Ah, something pleasant happened today,” Kaeya responded. He relaxed onto the plush couch, smiling softly at the memory.

“Did they accept your invitation? Get over yourself, Kaeya. You look like a fool.”

“A fool in love,” Kaeya mused.

“Hopefully they don’t fall in love with you too, then we’d have two fools.”

“Are you trying to sabotage me?”

“Of course not, I’m fully supportive of the two of you getting together. Perhaps then you can cease your mindless whining about how they always ignore you.”

“Oh, but they didn’t ignore me today. Maybe they do feel something for me after all.”

“Responding to a conversation is hardly attraction, Kaeya.”

Kaeya only scowled, before smiling with delight again at remembering his interaction with you.

That fateful Friday night finally arrived, enshrined in mystery and radiating an air of social excitement. You were busy trying on different clothes, tugging at the sleeves and waistbands in the mirror of your dorm. Would the others at the party judge you? You'd never felt the need to buy particularly fancy clothing, but you were quickly beginning to regret that choice. You winced just imagining the countless eyes that would be trained on you when you entered - questioning gazes raking over your body. Why were you there, of all people? Why did you dress like that? Why weren't you talking to anyone? Why were you so-

You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, breathing deeply. You insisted to yourself it was all in your head, as you finally made up your mind on what to wear. You almost panicked again, however, upon seeing the time. You were late - but you hadn't even begun to tidy yourself up, apart from choosing an outfit. You told yourself that nobody would notice if you were slightly slow in arriving, and swiftly continued your slow preparation.

Meanwhile, one person did notice your absence. Kaeya searched the foyer of his sprawling estate, sending rushed smiles to the guests on the way. You were nowhere to be seen, and the party was well underway. Did you change your mind about coming...? His hand clenched a little tighter as he went from room to room, almost beginning to curse how large his house was. Whenever he asked someone if they'd seen you, they'd shoot him a confused look before asking who you even were. Kaeya only sighed, resorting to tepidly relaxing into the exuberant atmosphere. It wouldn't do him much good to care too much, and hence, he did his best to let things unfold naturally. After all, he prided himself on being a spectator, not an instigator.

Despite his nonchalance, Kaeya couldn’t suppress the relieved sigh that left his lips at the sight of you in the doorway - fidgeting nervously. It was adorable to him, the way you’d tried to dress up extra nicely. If only you knew how perfect you looked in his eyes, even when you rushed into lectures with unbrushed hair and clothes that barely qualified as not being pyjamas.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Kaeya laughed over the loud thrum of the music indoors, gently holding your wrist to guide you in.

“Uh, yeah,” you mumbled. What else could you even say? He’d just stated that you’d turned up, so there wasn’t much to elaborate on. Archons, he probably thought you were so awkward-

“Want a drink? Don’t worry, we have non alcoholic ones too,” Kaeya smiled. He shooed away the people that attempted to approach him, his gaze settling firmly on you. You squirmed under the attention, only managing to nod.

Kaeya watched your expression coolly as you took a tentative sip of the glass he handed you, noticing your nerves. He saw the way your eyes darted around the room, the way your breathing quickened when someone approached the two of you. He should’ve known you’d be uncomfortable - how stupid was he to force you into something you obviously were nervous about?

“Would you like to go somewhere a little quieter? It certainly is a little loud,” Kaeya leaned forward to pull you closer to him. You nodded shyly in response, letting him guide you through the thick knots of people - trying your best not to notice his hand resting on your shoulder. Countless faces swept across your vision as people blurred past, and you faintly registered the friendly remarks Kaeya would utter to everyone else.

Finally, the two of you arrived in a secluded balcony - the cold air a pleasant contrast to the heated enclosed space. You realised your cheeks were burning as Kaeya touched them with a cool hand, looking at you in concern.

“Are you alright? I’m really sorry for forcing you into this kind of thing,” Kaeya murmured.

“No, no! It’s fine, it was just a little warm in there. I’m not used to large social gatherings. Well, that was probably obvious, I mean… You know what kind of person I am - wait, you probably don’t, because I’m barely relevant, and…”

“Shh, you’re the most important person to me. Don’t worry about useless things.” Kaeya pressed a finger over your mouth to silence your awkward blurting. Your cheeks burned again, except this time it wasn’t from the heat. How many other people had he done this to? He was notorious for his naturally flirtatious personality. You struggled to convince yourself not to read into it.

“Okay,” you nodded, grimacing at your lack of a creative response. You weren’t too sure of how to continue the conversation from there, so you simply turned to look at the view.

“Hm, distracted already? Why won’t you ever look at me?” Kaeya mused. This time, it was even harder not to blush furiously.

“The view is nice,” you stated bluntly. You heard Kaeya’s signature laugh behind you, and you felt your heart drop, thinking he was deriding you.

“I mean, it just looks nice, I’m sorry-”

“Quit apologising, sweetheart.”

Your breathing faltered as you realised Kaeya’s face was much closer than you expected. You could see each vibrant filament speckling his navy blue eyes, watch the light quiver of his lips. No, not watch - feel. You could feel the quiver of his lips, because they were on yours, and oh-

Oh.

In your defence, you’d never been taught how to french kiss before, nor had you any experience, so you were justified when you violently pushed Kaeya away in embarrassment.

“I… don’t know how to kiss,” you muttered, staring at the floor. You winced stay your own awkwardness. What a way to kill the mood.

“It’s fine, we can do it slow. Just focus on one lip, okay? And don’t stress out over it. I’ve been with plenty of words kissers,” Kaeya smoothly dismissed the interruption to draw you back in. This time, he let you make the move as you hesitantly pressed your lips against his.

You were clumsy, and nervous with your first kiss - but it was sweet. You never thought someone else’s lips could taste like this. Perhaps this was the feeling all those romance novels described, that peculiar fluttering of the ribcage. That lingering taste on the tongue, that candid beat of silence after pulling away.

“Not bad for a first kiss,” Kaeya remarked.

“Thanks?” You smiled awkwardly in response as he laughed and pinched your cheek fondly. The dull pain barley processed under all the adrenaline running in your veins, quashed under the almost vehement beating of your heart. This was quite a lot of shock for one day.

“Oh, and did I mention? I like you, so let’s do that again sometime,” Kaeya added - almost an afterthought. His face broke into a carefree grin as you stuttered over your next words, your heartbeat growing impossibly faster.

“I- me too. As in, I like you too, not I like myself, obviously-”

“Shh.”

Kaeya cut you off with another kiss, lightly laughing into it as you remembered to close your eyes.

The talk of the university after the party was where on earth the host had been the entire night.

༊*·˚

[remediesremedy]

YOU CALLED AND IM BACK (a little late but back regardless)!!! Green apple anon at your service 🫡 🍏

Ideas have been dull but trust, I am as insane as ever.

-qsmp!Quackity needing help with pruning his wings, but it's such a struggle on his own. Especially since (my headcanon)- his wings are torn up from the countless times he's blown up tnt.

-But since everyone just flat out doesn't trust him especially because of, like I mentioned, the times and times again where he's blown up places with tnt to try and kill people. He doesn't know who to go to- if anyone at all.

-Then we have qsmp!reader, the saint who convinced qsmp!Quackity to not kill Tallulah. Who understands what he goes through emotionally with the loss of a kid. And the only one who seems to not be a snob and turn their nose away from his when he walks past.

-Quackity feels embarrassed about it, especially since the reader has seen him do various uhhh.. not so good things across the server, but he solemnly makes his way up the rugged path to the reader's house with a thin blanket covering his back. He then asks them if they can help with pruning his wings.

(Honestly I see them as being purely platonic with their relationship with one another, just two people who are trying to get through the grief of it all!! But if it's a little romantic idm?!)

hello my favourite anon <3 i love this idea and i totally agree that it’s more platonic than anything, just a mutual understanding that grief needs comfort.

warnings: blood, injuries, grief, past tense remembrance of death

The recent weeks had been busy, bustling little eggs coming in and out of your care, finally socialising with the island a little more after what happened, overall things were doing a little better.

so when faced with a day filled with nothing, no schedule, absolutely nada, it was hard to fill the space. these were the moments you thought about otto, when the world went completely quiet. Adjusting without him was an impossible feat, you still made dinner for two, your fingers still twitched at night to tuck him in, and a lullaby always sat at the edge of your tongue for him.

The potted flowers in the kitchen had long ago wilted, simply now shreds of brown that threatened to crackle at the slightest breeze. However you couldn’t find it within yourself to rid of them, Otto found them for you, beautiful daffodils, he had frantically tugged them out of the ground, squinting to make sure he got the roots. He had been so excited, filled to the brim with energy as his dainty hands shoved the messy bouquet in your face.

it had been an almost impossible feat to get up in the morning, and with nothing to distract your clouded mind, the only plan was to rot away in the comfort of your bed until you were needed. The covers were cold, shrouding your body, and for a second, you looked like the state otto was found in, still, huddled under cold blankets. your head moved on its own, your face was greeted with a pillow, and your hands encased your ears, in a desperate hope to make it all stop. The incessant torture never dulled, in these moments it was so blaringly loud, alarms of depressions and guilt streamed into every crevice your brain held. 

then, a knock. enough to dissipate the smoke that had invaded your mind. The thuds against the door were hesitant, unsure, a sense of deja vu hit you. It was most likely a lost egg at your door, or a tired parent, but it gave you something to do. Still in tattered clothes, you opened the door gently, coming to face the person you least expected.

The raven with golden wings, feverish eyes and a bruised face. “you look awful” you blurted without thinking, scanning the rest of his body which was equally as bruised.

“thanks.” Quackity huffed, stepping backwards as if to turn away, like coming to your home had been a mistake. before he could retreat any more, you spoke up.

“come in.” you creaked the door open further, and the avian hesitated, but it seemed he gave in, his marred and wounded skin too pained at the thought of standing longer. You wondered how things had gotten so out of hand for him to sustain these injuries. You watched the tenseness in his body disappear, it was almost like he was being watched until now. “what have you gotten yourself into?” you murmured, finding more scratches on the man the longer you peered at him. His eyes betrayed him, full of guilt, regret, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out he had instigated what had happened.

The look on hie face was enough to make you divert the subject, “never mind that, why’d you come here? if you’re here to sleep over, that’s fine but only for one night because i’m not the biggest fan of holding fugitives-“

“it’s not that!” he waved his hands to stop your train of thought, frustration tugged at his brows, it was odd to see him at such a loss for explanation. he wrung his hands, gaze locked into the floor as his lips pursed and then reluctantly opened, spilling the reason he came to you. “my wings.” he paused, you had been too caught up looking for injuries on his body you hadn’t even considered his wings, you could see some golden feathers poking from behind him, but his actual wings were covered by a blanket you previously hadn’t noticed.

“are they okay? is it fatal?” your speech came out fast and laboured, worried that you had a dying man just standing in your house. The violent shakes of his head told you that he was okay, okay enough at least. “then what is it?” you prodded, inching closer to the tense man.

His cheeks flooded crimson, a blush beginning to coat his beaten face, “it’s, it’s embarrassing.” He sighed, he couldn’t avoid it, he had come to your door on his own accord, it was childish of him to almost avoid your questions. “my wings, sometimes they get dirty, or there’s loose feathers, i can’t reach them.” realisation dawned upon you, your eyes couldn’t help but soften at the disheveled avian.

“you need them preened.” He nodded stiffly, gently you stepped beside him and removed the thin blanket that draped over his large wings. Quackity’s head tilted down, it was shame, he felt shame for having no one to go to, and that he couldn’t even do it himself. “it’s okay, i’ll help, you just need to tell me how okay?”

He lifted his head once again, a strained smile encompassing his lips. With a quick relocation you were upstairs, he sat awkwardly at the end of your bed, while you settled behind him on your knees, finally getting a look of what you had to deal with. Broken wings, some feathers looked painful in the way they stuck out, there were holes and scabs, from observing them for only a few seconds, you knew he could no longer fly. Quackity’s voice filled the room, “Wilbur used to help me with them, and right now i’m sorta enemy number one, i didn’t know who to really go to.”

you hummed, listening to him talk while you ran your hand through his feathers, smoothening them out best as possible. Gently, you pulled loose feathers out, fingers skimming across more injured sections to deal with later. Quackity kept his head bowed, his speech once again coming out in a shy murmur, “i don’t even know why you’re helping me.” he admitted, and you chose to say nothing about his admittance.

“i need to pull out the broken feathers and clean your wounds.” you softly spoke, grimacing as your index and thumb tugged on a stray feather, coated in blood. His hiss made you feel momentarily guilty as you eased the first one out, as swift as possible, you plucked them out, hushing him every time he cried out. “it’s okay, almost done.” you promised, pulling the last remaining ones quickly. “there.” He sighed in relief and began to let his shoulders relax.

“i still need to clean your wounds don’t get too comfortable.” you chided, getting up off the cotton covers to retrieve a rag and warm water. While you were gathering the materials you heard the low annoyed groan of the avian, and it almost felt like you never had a day off in the first place. Just another vulnerable person in your care once again.

you realised that maybe otto was sending these people to you, giving you a purpose, and a sad smile appeared at the thought. Otto never got to socialise much, and never got the chance to have an uncle or an aunt because of it. You never got a pairing either, you only had each other. What if you had socialised him more, even when he didn’t want to go? so that maybe people would have remembered to take care of him.

it was easy to do this, go back and forth between the blame. It was a battle that went on most nights, who would hold the title of it being their fault. And as the days went by, the tally on who was most guilty ended up being you. You weren’t there, and that gnawed at every little healthy cell in your body, you were sick, making yourself sick with blame. oh. oh how you missed him.

your sweet little boy.

the call of your name took you back to the present, and you made your way back to the avian again disoriented. “sorry.” you spoke unsurely, words waiting to offload from your tongue, to tell someone else the extent of your blame. But you held it, “i just zoned out.”

Quackity looked unsure at your answer, but he nodded anyway, instead preparing himself for his wounds to be touched and cleansed. When you settled down again, you noticed some of his wounds had been weeping, trickles of blood dripped down onto your bedsheets. Your eyes softened, it was easy to villainize quackity, with his wrong doings and his slimy behaviour, but behind it all was just a clueless and afraid man. So you wiped the blood on his ruined wings, you gently dabbed his wounds until they were clean. His feathers were finally looking golden again, and no longer appearing as a dull amber, the dirt and grime was now washed away. And a part of you hoped it also washed away some of his hatred and disdain for the world.

“are you done?” Quackity asked after a moment of silence, and you answered his question with a hum. Out of instinct you went to help him up, and then realised he was a full grown adult, not one of the eggs you’d been caring for lately. You coughed, stepping aside and watching him rise from your bed more at ease, he honestly looked kinder, softer.

you hoped some kindness would change him.

“thank you.” He softly said, and with a surprise, his lips upturned into a smile. a beautiful smile.

“you should smile more.” you commented bluntly, watching crimson flood to his cheeks once again. He cleared his throat, about to say something when you followed your statement with another sentence, “it suits you.”

His eyes softened, and for a moment it seemed he was a regular man, a kind man. Then his irises looked hazy and his body tensed, all in the span of a second. a fast change that looked so wrong. It was like his very being had been altered right in front of you, worriedly you stepped forward, ready to look the avian over for any unseen injuries, when his voice wrung out through the air, low and shocking.

“i can help you get him back you know.”

[donshowmachine]

I shall request romantic scene:

agent reader with a bunch of soldats surrounding them, and reader thinks the soldats are going kill them.

But the soldats are like "date us or die"

That's all could i think of....the end

I can only imagine the soldats being aggressive when asking someone on a date

AMAZING request and taste, anon! :D i hope you will enjoy. <3 And i can also write sequel if someone ask ;D

Gender neutral reader, crying reader, bad english probably because im not native and don't have beta. 1K words. And soldats acting like agressive bullies and scare the hell outta poor reader, be cautious :D

It was scary to apply to AAHW. You tried to calm yourself with thought that they shouldn't treat newbies bad if they're so desperate to recruit new workers, and promised payment at least good. But it's funny how because of the heavy schedule and the mere apocalypse in Nevada, You had nowhere to spend your money, and no time. When you understood this, you only was like "Aha. Good job, Auditor." And sarcastically applaused. You was bited, but at least you had "home", bed, food, no personal space, and... "Family", as many of agents called this military hell. They were born here, of course, technically clones here were genetically identical, so, siblings, and this is their real family, but you always wanted to scream: "WHAT'S SO FAMILYISH HERE, NAME IT?!"

But you never will, because you would be the wrong one, and no one will understand you. "Wdym, Y/n, here is family dinner, family training, family dying. We're just amazing big family. Name one thing that isn't family here."

You always feel uncanny here. Not like life in Nevada wasn't crazy, but here it is crazier. You weren't ready. Not for schedule and physical trainings, but for how all other workers behaved. It was a crazy mixture of excessive friendliness, and complete disregard and disrespect, at one time.

The most scary part were ATP soldiers. They were trainers, and oh god, they were stern and loud. You started shaking, when they yelled at you at training sessions, and it happened everyday. Of course, your fear caused bad performance, more yelling for that, and it turned into self-repeating loop.

"I-i can't perform better when im s-stressed!" Finally you had determination to speak, barely holding on to trembling legs. The black glasses hid the fact that you were almost ready to cry, but not flushed face. The soldier looked at you with an unreadable, cold expression on his face.

"Oh, you poor little thing!" Soldat said sarcastically, approaching you obscenely close and caressing your cheek. You only felt worse from the touch. "You will poop yourself out of fright when you hear your own dying scream, BECAUSE IT WILL BE LOUDER THAN THAT! NOW CLIMB ON THIS WALL. NOW."

You wish you could quit, but the contract said that your whole life now belongs to AAHW. Aw crap. Oh damn.

ATP soldats never acted friendly, they sure had some arrogance and disrespect for all agents, they just show it passively. It would be weird if they could bond, since they're modified only for one purpose, they never socialised the way you are, and now you were Inadequate freak for your normalcy, because mostly everyone around you aren't. They're isolated in AAHW, like this is some kind of military sect.

Just the sight of their glowing yellow lens made you feel worse. And you haven't even met Hank yet!.. But you believed you would be less scared then, because Hank at least wouldn't yell in your ear and demand something from you...

But this is worked somehow. Now, you were training alone, without even those yellow lenses of hell glowing on your back... The big training rooms were so peaceful and calm when you're here alone. Of course, you were forbidden to sit back, and you were watched, but this was much better. Even if it wouldn't last long. Now You were next to the wall you jumped off. It was funny how many trainings is just climbing on ropes, walls, breaking windows from the outside, And, of course, the most unexpected and funny thing - crawling on ventilation.

Door is opened, and bunch of ATP soldats arrived. With weapons. They aimed their guns at you. They looked angry.

"...Good morning, Y/n." this was most threatening way to say good morning to someone.

"We have one topic for you." Started quietly one of them, still aiming at you. You heard him perfectly in eerie silence. Your uplifted hands trembled, and you couldn't say a thing, scared of possibility of being killed... If It was a possibility, and not your immediate future.

"Wh... What i did?"

"We noticed that you have feelings for us..."

...

...What? Why the hell they even would think so? Now you're more confused than scared.

"Wh-w-w... Why y-you would ever think so?" it sounded much more calm in your head.

"Look at you! Can't even connect two words, always shaking, blushing when you see us, avoiding us..."

From fear and from urge to cry. How they didn't understand that?!

"Even sobbing, because you think we are such an attractive men, who would just reject you when you confess, am i right? We are tired of waiting. DO IT NOW! DON'T PLAY SHY."

"No... It isn't... Like that! You completely misun..." You barely can talk, only sobing. "Misueueghhnghh... Misunderstood me!"

"We said CONFESS, NOT PLAY SHY." The soldier shot into the wall centimeters from your head. You squeak from surprise, and then burst in tears, unable to contain your voice. Soldat speaks again. "You played enough for us to get bored. If you're so timid to take next step, we will teach you HOW. CONFESS YOUR FEELINGS."

You cried, as you were trying to grab wall behind you, In order not to fall. You tried your best to confess your "love" that they imagined, with your messy breath and sobs. It turned out something like "i lu... Whhww... Hnnggh... I lov u..."

"LOUDER."

You screamed it at them, drowning in tears, your voice cracked like a teenager. It was it. The breakpoint. You couldn't feel worse now.

"NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DATING US. UNDERSTOOD?!"

"Y-yes, sir!" You cried, as you fell to your knees, and hid your red mess face with your hands.

"Aww, look at them, they're so happy they can't even stand!" One ATP soldat whispered to other. "Aww. Look how defenseless and weak they are..." Soldats didn't know word "cute", so this is closest thing they had in their dictionary. If you had force to look at them, you will notice how yellow they became from your cuteness, no one aiming now. You can hear how they remove the guns, and walking closer to you. Now they're just covering you like snow on the asphalt, hugging, stroking you, bumping each other's elbows, silently, but agressively fighting for a territory where they can touch you. You sure now look like very upset christmas tree with all those yellow lights.

[queenofsimpsblog]

insecure - shuri x reader

A/N: YALL IM SO SORRY IVE BEEN MIA LIFE IS SUPER HECTIC RN BUT I GOT THIS IDEA SO

kinda wrote this for myself cuz self confidence is smth I’ve struggled with my entire life lol

shoutout to the plus sized girlies, we all gorgeous and deserve to feel like it <3

also just in case you forgot, you’re very pretty and i love you <3

@locoforshuri you alr knew i was gonna tag you <3

you gasped as the air was leaking in and out of your lungs. you trudged on the pathway while shuri was way ahead of you. you convinced her to take you for a run today, and regretted your decision moments after. shuri was easily able to run laps around the park while you felt like someone kicked you in the stomach repeatedly.

“so then i told okoye that maybe she should consider wearing something different so that riri wouldn’t—” shuri spoke and turned to look at you, but then stopped running when she realised you weren’t right next to her.

“over here!” you wheezed out from way behind her. you normally exercised but you did pilates and yoga. you hated anything related to cardio, especially running.

“sthandwa? are you okay?” she asked you and you managed to shoot her a smile, which soon turned into a groan. shuri sighed and turned back, squatting slightly and gesturing you to get on her back. you did as you were told and got on, gripping onto shuri’s shoulders so that you wouldn’t fall. she got back up and started jogging again. bast bless her new found strength. she resumed her rant about riri and okoye, but you found yourself zoning out.

the reason why you were exerting yourself so much was pretty simple. there was a big gala coming up in a few weeks, and you wanted to look your best for it. the last one was about 6 months ago, and you didn’t exactly have the best experience there.

*flashback brought to you by shuri’s smile which is SO CUTE*

it was a crisp autumn night, and the ballroom the gala was being held in was packed. people were roaming around, socialising, forcing themselves to laugh at some old white guy’s joke, drinking, eating, dancing. you and shuri looped your arms together as you went to talk to some UN members you recognised and were on good terms with.

you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, and while you were in the stall, you overheard some girls talking.

“did you see that girl with queen shuri?”

“oh yeah, what about her?”

“her outfit? eeeks, she way too big for a dress like that.”

“oh my god, yeah. i don’t get why she thought it was a good idea.”

“seriously! what is the queen doing with her? she should be with me instead.”

the girls laughed and left the bathroom. you left the cubicle and took a good look at your reflection.

your heart broke as you looked at the way your dress accentuated your body. those girls were right. you took some tissues and used them to soak up the tears so that it wouldn’t spoil your makeup. sighing to yourself, you left the bathroom to go find shuri.

*flashback over*

soon enough, shuri decided to end her run and walked back to the palace to take a shower. she set you down gently as you reached the palace doors, and made your way to your shared quarters.

“you mind if i shower first?” shuri asked you as you entered your room. “no sweetie, go ahead,” she smiled and kissed you, letting her lips linger on yours for a moment before grabbing a sports bra and boxers and retreating to the bathroom.

you stood by the large mirror in the walk-in closet, taking a good look at your reflection. your hands moved from your face, to your arms, to your belly and down to your thighs. your body was beautiful, but you couldn’t see that. all you could see was the imperfections those women commented on that night.

you hated it.

you hated how those strangers words had so much power over you.

before you knew it, the tears started coming in and you tried desperately to hold in your sobs. but you failed, and as shuri walked out of the bathroom and made her way to the closet to find an outfit to wear, she saw you staring at yourself and sobbing uncontrollably.

“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” she asked you gently, wrapping her arms to stabilise you and calm you.

“i’m ugly,” you cried out.

shuri was taken aback. she didn’t know what to say. she always thought of you as the most beautiful moment she ever laid eyes on. and it pained her to see you like this.

“no you’re not. you’re beautiful. why do you think you’re ugly?”

you were still crying, so it took you a couple minutes to pull yourself together. you told shuri about what happened at the last gala. rage filled her eyes, but it was quickly replaced with love.

“usana, what those women said is not true. not even close. you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen,” she gently took your hand and kissed every one of your knuckles, before moving to your palm.

“you remember when we first met?” she asked, trialing kisses along your arm and collarbone before moving to your other arm.

she giggled softly at the memory. “it was like time froze when i saw you. i could’ve sworn i heard violins playing in the background. it was like a movie scene. i knew then and there that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you by my side,”

she then planted kisses on your belly, making you smile. “i don’t get why you think being skinny means being beautiful. beauty is so much more than that. beauty means having a good soul. a caring heart. and you have that, sthandwa,”

shuri then moved downwards to your thighs. she kissed them both and then looked up at you. “you’re gorgeous, y/n. please don’t ever say that you aren’t.” she stood up and brought your body closer to hers.

“and i love you. my heart is yours, always and forever,” she kissed you with so much love and adoration.

“i love you too,” you whispered and smiled, before kissing her again.

fuck those girls that talked shit about you. they were just jealous cuz shuri loved you, and not them. and nothing would change that.

[kruxton]

Into more PHC headcanons,

Mr sin will spend time with the form 4s and form 5s as a way to make up for himself on not caring enough for the students.

I imagine kahar and Fakhri will have an awkward time spending together and due to the fact kahar is trying to be a good senior to Fakhri.

I also wanna hear more about your headcanons about Naim and Amir please?

mr sin feels that he is to blame (at least partially) for the situation and its weighing him down heavily. so he steps up his game and actually Does his Job and starts socialising with his students like Pn. Faniza does, because he'll be damned if he lets anything like /that/ happen again

imagining the fakhri kahar situation afterwards is so funny to me. kahar is desperately trying to make amends but he cant do that if fakhri doesnt want to talk to him like 😭😭 bro approaches fakhri but hes looking everywhere but in kahar's direction trying not to get mad is that not the funniest thing ever

OKAY so naim and amir hc under the cut. ive never put this into actual words before so i apologise in advance if they dont make sense ok (edit: it turned out WAY longer than i imagined thats mb)

yk that scene that happens sometime after amir's past and trauma is revealed where naim is really angry (i forget why) but then lashes out onto amir bc smth smth why the fuck do u care so much are u fucking gay for me? (im like 99% sure this happened but if it didnt.. uhmm we're going to pretend it did)

i think in that moment amir didn't know the answer to that genuinely. he definitely knows that /something/ in him changed after what happened to him in that store room, but being gay was NOT an option, it just couldnt be, he wont LET it be. bc its not like he was attracted to any guys, right??? he doesnt care for any guy like THAT, yk?? or at least thats what he thought

once naim accused amir of being gay for him, something definitely snapped. it hurt, it hurt, but it wasnt his dignity that shattered. it was his heart.

(did that go hard? i think that went hard. im proud of myself)

because what if naim was right? what if naim just saw right through him and actually.. believed it?

cue the panic and worry that went on in his brain because who the fuck was he going to talk to abt this. his bestfriend? not an option

i like to believe thats why he barely showed up again until that scene in the hospital. ik the show played it off as them being so so angry at each other, and yeah, they probably were? but the both of them knew something went wrong between them at that moment in the dorm when naim used amir's trauma against him (bc when u put it like that.. how couldnt smth be wrong), and they were worried for their friendship, the both of them.

now we cue the internalised homophobia. i assume u can imagine how that goes

naim getting hurt really bad and needing to go to the hospital is what triggered amir's brain to make up his mind on his feelings and guess what? yeah he's gay for naim. and he doesnt have time to worry abt this anymore cause naim is Dying. he could die at any second. whatever the feelings he harbours for him doesnt matter because after everything he is still his bestfriend.

so he stomps his newfound feelings down and doesnt let himself think abt it. and when they hug in that waiting room and naim goes 'aku sayang kau wei' at him, its bittersweet but he cant ruin the moment, not again.

ok flashforward now

he's content with being naim's bestfriend. sure, he gets jealous when naim goes out with that girl (i forgot her name) but at least now he knows there's a valid reason for it instead of an irrarional envy as his bestfriend, so he accepts it and moves on (he doesnt really. but what choice does he have?)

[shameonmeeguiltypleasure]

Personal share: I just needed to vent this out to a void of some sort.

Nobody warns you about the 'literal' COST of Living you face once your born. I feel like my childhood was me being scammed into spending a bunch only to be later slapped in the face with the receipt and expected to pay it. "What?You can't pay it? Well let's make it a debt you owe me, now get to work bitch"

I'm sharing this here because honestly, I think if anyone I know and love in my real life were to hear me out they'd tell me what I already know "That's just Life".

With how sensitive i am right now, I'd break down into a sobbing mess and I can't afford that right now......

- Im on the verge of feeling numb again, like brittle and so ready to disappear.

-Im struggling to feel passion and feel stuck in an endless cycle of work, sleep, eat repeat.

- I feel empty and a constant thrum of nausea at everything I say, do or when I see my reflection.

-Ive tried buying my joy and short bursts of satisfaction but it always leaves my bank account empty and fades too quickly.

-I miss my parents, but I'm a adult now and they expect adult things from me. They don't have time for my mood swings because I'm "just too much"

-My sister is drained from work and I don't want to be an additional burden

-My best friend is preparing to fight for her new career and I don't even have my liscense to drive. (I have no idea why she still keeps me around when I'm so unambitious)

- My cousin has lost so much weight and im growing jealous of her confidence. (She's married and has 3kids!! I'm jealous that she's found someone she trusted to start a family with and I'm still a lonely sob)

-My brother is moving out to live with his long term gf and start his studies. (He has no loans thanks to my sis and I, Obvs doesn't respect or care for me as much as he does her. I deserve it honestly, but it still stings sometimes)

- I struggle to speak most days because I just don't think. I have anything worth saying. (But my job requires me to call ppl and I cant afford to lose this gig)

-I struggle to eat because I just can't find the balance between starving and overindulgence. (I love my body. But there are parts of me I feel I need to change because society or loved ones say I should)

-I struggle to socialise because I just don't share the same interest as those around me or my work colleagues. (Is this because I don't know who I am some days? Or because I just don't have the energy to be contradictory to somebody else's opinion?)

-Im constantly sick and feel guilty for taking days off and still getting sick leave pay. (My job caters to this!! It's in my contract so why can't my brain stop making everything feel like doomsday!?)

- I don't often make mistakes but when I do their huge and I feel immense shame and guilt everytime. I'd offer up my limb if it would make the bad feeling go away. (These are the moments I wish I could read minds, I just want to know what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it!? Is it actually ok or are you just saying that then talking shit bout me behind my back?)

Honestly..... I just don't think I value myself enough right now, I don't think Im seeing my worth and I desperately need to fix it before it becomes worse.

I've had this fight before and I won, I'm not doing it again.

I'm tired.

God am I tired.

Fuck.

If this doesn't ease up before my next one to one with my boss, I'll ask them to send me to therapy (work benefit is that'll be free)

[nero-the-enby]

Help an Enby Access Life Saving Surgery

I've been made aware that there are surgeons who have no BMI limit in other countries (mostly the US, a couple in Canada). I'm applying for a passport and making a go of this because im tired of sitting and waiting and trying but not making progress. Please share and/or donate if you can.

~~~~~~

Hello, my name is Nero (yes, like the Roman emperor), and I'm fundraising to access gender-affirming surgery.

I've been attempting to access gender-affirming care for 6 years, and although I'm now seeing a gender clinic (which has allowed me to start HRT), I'm facing a big barrier to accessing surgery; my weight. The way I've dealt with my gender dysphoria and the distress it creates is to eat - it brings me comfort. Sadly this means that my current BMI is too high for UK surgeons to say yes to operating on me. Most surgeons here have a BMI limit of 30, and some limit to 40. My BMI is 47. I am being supported to lose weight (dieting, exercising daily, pills, etc) and I have already lost over a stone (yay!). However losing weight is going much slower than I thought it would, and that has only served to increase my dysphoria, taken away my comfort in food, and increased my suicidal ideation. My family fully believes that I will end up taking my own life if I can't access this much-needed, life-saving surgery within the next 2 years. I'm not sure I can wait another whole year but I'm fighting hard.

With this fundraiser, I'm hoping to travel abroad to where there are surgeons who have no BMI limit and who can and will give me what I so desperately need. My dysphoria is robbing me of a life I should be having at 24 years old. I should have a job. I should have friends. I should be out socialising and having fun. Instead, I sit at home and spend all my time trying my best not to let my dysphoria convince me that it's all hopeless.

If you could spare £1, £5, or even just 10p, that would make a world of difference to me and my family.

https://gofund.me/ccf9e186

[sm-writes-chaos]

Asking all the writeblrs I love to grow a vast garden, apologies if I ask the same thing twice *

Hello! I'm attempting to grow a Tumblr garden, with input from people around here to make a series of short stories about' houseplant fairies. The hope would be to have a 'community tumblr garden' full of all the wholesomeness the internet can offer.

Here's the request/seed - do you have a prior worry' or 'stumbling block'. perhaps an event or a piece of advice others told you that didn't help much or simply an' obstacle that you overcame. To be honest, I'm unsure of how to accurately describe 'the seed' but something in the realm of 'society expectations versus what actually helped- or whatever you wish? Also also, favorite plant/houseplant/ flower to write the story about.

Here's the houseplants we have so far in case this was confusing.

The Venus Flytrap from @poetsandstuff

"I've had advice about 'getting out there' and just socialising lile im not dieing on the inside every time"

The Venus Flytrap episode one - Relationships

The Rose from @briarborealisart

"i could still be true to myself while valuing what others thought."

Episode one - Thorns

The Prayer Plant from @awleeofficial

"I worry about how I am percieved by the people in my life as well as the creative works that I choose to share, and I can be rather hard on myself when it doesn't come out perfect."

Episode one - Inspiration

Thanks for participating :)



Oh yes I saw this on my dash before it's very cool! I'll try to see if I understand correctly. Since perfectionism was already talked about I'll do another struggle of mine.

I worry a lot about interpretation. In real life I think very hard about what I say and try to make it perfect so as to not offend anyone, or so that no one can take what I'm saying the wrong way. In my writing I feel as if I have to explain why I added each little detail before I realized that a lot of things are audience interpretation. They're not going to see it the way I do but I still worry that they'll get the "wrong" interpretation.

I'm held back in what I say and do because of this, and my writing as well. They say to "be yourself" but what if myself rubs them the wrong way? So I guess it's like feeling like you want to desperately speak your mind but your on mute.

I try to remember that people will always think differently than me and to not be afraid what people will say. I'm responsible for what I say, not for what people think I said.

And for plants...it's so hard to choose! I'll have to go with the California Poppy. It represents freedom which is something I'd like to feel more of when I want to speak. (and its pretty)

This is a really cool project thanks for involving me!

[somenao]

i am so desperate i send messages to random people

they will think im a creep for sure ✨

please if you became victim of my socialisation attemts im so so sorry... qwq

[shoveitevil]

i really desperately need to stop socialising on this medication. i took it at 4 pm and now it’s past midnight and I’m still cold and I’m still paranoid and I’m still twitching and my mind will not fucking shut it. and i fucking can’t eat and I’ll be barely able to eat for the next bloody week and the weathers getting colder and everyone in the house is sick and mums sad and dads distant and my brother is just so so so annoying and argumentative and i have no free time for the next 8 days and it’ll all be study and exams and stress and my acne is flaring up and my hair is still shit and my face is all puffy im so fucking sick of it. i was supposed to do 8 hours of study today and I did 3 and a half. if i can’t fit down and work for 4 hours on medication then how am I supposed to do atar and how am I supposed to uni and how am I supposed to ever do those 70 hour work weeks in those internships. and im supposed to do all this and not be a reclusive mole. just give me a break please