#im so fucking drunk

[evehaze]

Getting blackout drunk and drawing these two 🖤

[dankeyes]

Just a little drunk and a little stuffed after a concert. Someone buy me burgers 🐷🔥

[sadclowncentral]

no shade against chris evans whatsoever but handing out the sexiest man alive title exclusively to celebrities has to he one of the most disingenuous things we have come up with. like what about the guy i saw at the grocery store seven months ago

[bulkhummus]

do you understand how funny this is

[sporkberries]

True Loves Kiss ( when kissing the messiah/the anti-christ please be cautious. though it may draw you out of the lonely it could also lead to severe facial scarring, but hey, you score either way!)

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[ayrite]

is it just me or is being self-aware while drunk the weirdest fucking experience ever

[starbandit]

Jungkook - spanking kink

jungkook cant help himself. you cant say no to him either.

when he tells you his biggest fantasy is seeing his handprint on your ass, you cant say no. you find it hot, his way of marking you in only the way he can see.

so when he bends you over his knee, panties pulled down over your ass, you cant help but be excited. you grow wet at every smack. the feeling of his large hand making contact with your ass sends shivers down your spine.

you can feel him growing harder with every second, his dick standing taller with every smack. his handprint is definitely going to be visible over the next few days, you cant deny that. every smack sends you further into submission and even wetter than before.

jungkook cant help but grip your ass even harder as the spanks go on. he loves the way your ass jiggles as his hand makes contact, the sounds you make as you beg for him to fuck you. it drives him absolutely insane.

[chessb0r3d]

i cracked the code.

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i have this really stupid idea in my head that im frankly a little obsessed with and the idea is this: trent crimm doing a drunk history episode on ted lasso's first tenure at richmond. is that how drunk history works? i don't think so. do i care? absolutely not. it's a special episode who cares because this image is not only hysterical to me but treasured. i treasure this image. i hold it close in my heart and also laugh and laugh and laugh.

[hairydykecunt]

pic i took this morning :)

[markster666]

Alastor x Reader Smut (I'm so fcking hammered right noew HEELLLP)

I'm not even oging to bother putting word count or outline enjoy (Nsfw under tag)

A/N now that i'm sober: I'm not even editing any of this this is absolutely golden... I was so out of it LOL Happy Valentines Day ig to me

A/N #2: Pink Whitney is dangerous

Alastor was genuienly sick of your shit like GENUINELY SICK of it like he just literlaly did not want to deal with you anymore and it seemsd the only way to get rid of your dumbass shit was to fuck you bc you're a selfihs needy motherufker (me too tho tbh).

He fucking went in your room and started begging you to leave him alone but you were liiek no bc why the fuck would you ever want ot leave big bad deer man alone

You walked up t ohim and slid your finger down his chest, smirking in the process. he reailizeed he was lowkey actually enjoying this shit like GAWDAMD you were FUCKINGH OT AS SHIT HE WANTED OT ABSOLUTELY FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU yeah!!!

He threw you o nthe bed and made you promise that if he fucked you this SINGUALAR time then you would leaveh im alone for the rest of his miserable radio demon fucking life and you agreed even though you kno you would keep annoying him

He pulled dow nyour pants and after a bit of foreplay he was like ok im ready to fuck you nwow and then you wrre like hold on give me a second i need to find my vape it got buried in the sheets somewhere

so you both got off each other and started rustking around in the sheets and duvet to find your vape and it was ON THE FUCKING FLOOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME THANK FCK

and you took a puff out of it and he was like bruh and then u offer it ot him and he had no idea what the ufck it was bc he's a old ass BITCH

amd then you guys fucked and it FELT SO FUCKING GOOD and then he came inside of you and you came inside ofh im too bc thats definitely how female anatomy works !!!

and then he elft you alone and you fell asleep with your vape in your hand iknowing u would keep annyoign him again

ok there y go guys im going to sleep now bye

[fernsensei]

v2 and gabriel both drinking their v1 related problems away. i love this little idea of v2 and gabriel you’ve put in my head amazing job

oopsie my hand slipped THANK YOU for the idea anon!!! v2 desperately trying to drink some of gabriel's blood but gabriel wouldn't let it until all of his daddy issues are resolved

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

A compilation of Felix Gillie (Peter Lorre) mispronouncing Waldo Trumbull's (Vincent Price) name. I love these guys.

Vincent Price and Peter Lorre - The Comedy of Terrors (1963)

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

petition to add a fifth category of answer to the RAADS-R Autism test for "I do not know how to answer this question // The premise of this question is highly flawed"

[demon-princess13]