#im so sick of the gender binary

[decolonize-the-everything]

Femininity doesn't belong to women. Masculinity does not belong to men. Androgyny does not belong to nonbinary ppl. There are no "biological" traits of gender.

All of those things are in everyone.

And yes in a 'men wear skirts and nail polish and are feminine' way and yes in a 'women wear binders and boxers and are masculine' way. But also in a 'there are cis women with beards' and 'there are intersex men with ovaries' and 'some women are born with boobs and penises' and 'cis men can lactate' way.

Ovaries, penises, etc. Those things aren't tied to gender. None of it. Never has been. Diverse is just how humans are. Before hrt existed and before therapy, before bottom surgery: people who never fit the binary still existed.

Ppl who say there are only two sexes or to count chromosomes or that existing as one of two sexes is the only right way, are straight up denying the reality of actual human living people. The fact that they try to make it a moral goal to convince other people to deny reality too is just the cherry on top of this delusional sundae.

Because it is delusional. People like that are delusional and I think we should get comfortable saying it and even being mean about it. Now is not the time to be conservative in your progressive beliefs.

What do you mean you don't believe in the way humans have fundamentally existed throughout all of human history? and you're being an asshole about it? In 2023? On purpose?

[kotoneshiomiofficial]

when transfems talk about how we live in a society, we mean that US culture only recognizes two sexes and two genders, and then equates them. male = man and female = woman, and its despises anyone who steps outside of those bounds (intersexism and transphobia). so when we talk about how you cant be perisex afab and then call yourself a transfem, what we mean is that society has (whether you like it or not) treated you as a girl/woman because thats what it said on your birth certificate. you cannot transition to be a gender you already a part of. and there are already plenty of nonbinary labels for people who have a feminine gender but dont feel 100% like a woman. and to imply that you can suggests trans women are not the same gender as women. so at best third-gendering us or at worst saying we're not real women. and when it comes to intersexism, listen to tma intersex people about it and not tme perisex people. and i mean actually listen, dont just use them as hypothetical talking points.

[abalidoth]

I hate that there's a fundamental incompatibility between social mores that suit

1) a binary trans woman who wishes to be gendered solely on her gender signifiers, and

2) me, a nonbinary transfem who will get he/himmed no matter fucking what because I have a beard and don't bother to voice train, even if my wardrobe and makeup is completely fem

I actually find it relatively affirming when cis people ask my pronouns, because otherwise they are one hundred percent guaranteed to get it wrong.

Guess it's just my fault for being nonconforming and I'll just go fuckin' be misgendered about it, though, because given the volume of posts I see about how evil and transmisogynist asking pronouns is, I'm clearly in the wrong on this one.

[assmaster-8000]

why don't clothes fit me the way they do on a skinny cis guy (<- isn't a skinny cis guy)

[sunsoak]

Everyone’s all “nonbinary is included in every sexuality” until a nonbinary person who is on hormones prefers men who like men and women who like women and all of a sudden I’m being problematic and offensive to…….. well everyone I guess

[bromantically]

im not intersex but im getting really sick and tired of seeing perisex people exclude, ignore, and even berate my intersex friends when they join in on discussions about transness and gender. u are all so afraid of challenging ur precious binaries and neatly separated categories that u are willing to be openly and aggressively intersexist without even a second thought. u will challenge and deny intersex peoples identities, their experiences, u will look them in the eye and tell them theyre wrong and that they must fit into ur close minded views on gender and sex, u will tell them theyre being selfish and making these discussions all about them, and its so unbelievably cruel. how do u just say these things casually and with absolutely no self awareness

[hemipenal-system]

i try to keep discourse off of here bc this account is for silly monster shenaniganery but the funny weird effect of that is i get followers who have just absolutely repulsive gender politics

so there’s people’s blogs who look like [hideous take about trans men] [my silly kobold post] [post implying binary trans women are the only people who are actually oppressed]

and im sick of it

[genderqueerdykes]

whats your banner about? /genq btw cuz i personally havent seen anything abt that so if u could fill me in on it id appreciate that

/not forced to answer, im just curious abt it

hey sure i'm happy to elaborate!

it's in response to the amount of folks who deem it okay to refuse to let transmascs and men into non binary and queer spaces because mascs and men "scare women and enbies" or are "unsafe to be around" or even "look too cis and make people uncomfortable". i've seen a massive pushback lately to completely and totally remove transmascs and men from the queer community because men are "dangerous". the same hatred and vitriol that people have for cishet men is being applied to trans men. ESPECIALLY straight trans men. straight trans men are treated like absolute shit and are labeled as dangerous and predatory.

i've also had the unfortunate displeasure of overhearing MANY queer folks that trans men aren't queer or trans, we're just "confused" or "butch lesbians". like i have heard this from other trans people. it's an unfortunate reality that some people literally refuse to see trans men and mascs as queer, because for some reason people view queerness as feminine or gender neutral only. i've literally heard people say that trans men can't call ourselves trannies because we're not trans. like i have seriously been told by numerous people that trans men AREN'T trans, and that "that's not what being trans means." i've met so many people who think the only way to be trans is transfem and it's been painful

i've unfortunately befriended several transfems who would gladly go on tirades and rants about how transmascs and men bring a "bad light" to the community, that trans men and mascs are insufferable and dangerous to be around because testosterone can "turn you into a monster," and i've even been told that i'm ruining my body. i've been told that people don't view me as trans because nobody WANTS to be a man for anything but nefarious reasons. many people say that trans men want to be men so they can engage in the patriarchy and oppress other people. i've been told by some people that they believed i transitioned so i could "have more power"

i got tired of seeing people think it's okay to ostracize trans men because they have trauma they need to work on. people blame the entirety of men and manhood on their problems, and project it on to trans men. it's sad and insidious. i've heard from SO MANY trans mascs and men who literally just do not feel comfortable in any queer spaces they try to attend because of how ostracized they feel, or how people would bully them and tell them they were just a confused butch lesbian, tomboy, or masculine girl.

hope that made sense to you! some people have really charged and heated opinions about trans men and mascs and if we belong in the queer community. i got sick of it. femininity, womanhood and gender neutrality are not the only ways to be queer

[lakesbian]

here's every way wildbow accidentally made pre-meiosis "russel" thorburn transgender that i can remember. if you can think of any reasons i forgot please add on

his parents named his younger sister "ivy," as if the obvious grandmother-pandering name "rose" had already been used up. blake theorizes that they used a male version of "rose" for PMT, but this is nonsensical--there is no male form of the name rose, and everything he comes up with as a possible option (in other words, everything wildbow came up with as a possible option) is a major stretch. most don't sound even tangentially like the name "rose." it makes far more sense to assume that PMT was afab and had the deadname rose. (this also makes sense on a thematic level wrt how rose thorburn jr is supposed to be the Real heir that grandmother is forcing blake to die for, but that's getting besides the point)

rose has memories of being harassed over the inheritance by her female cousins, and the idea of these memories just being wholly pulled out of thin air when basically everything else involves memories either being split btwn blake and rose or erased altogether is weird

blake is friends with, like. a lot of gay people. textually runs in poor gay artist circles. the idea of them adopting this weirdly cool cis straight guy is funny but it makes a lot more sense if PMT was trans + gay and only got turned into a straight guy (and a straight girl) yesterday, due to the homophobia demon

PMT literally thinks "Besides, why devote any more attention to your son, when you could just start over?  Have that beautiful baby girl you wanted, right?" which is also like one of the only pieces of internal narration we get from PMT in the entire story. first girl they named rose ran away and did some shit with their gender so now they have a second girl they can't name rose but can still try to raise to go for the inheritance

in the same chapter as when pmt says that, callan is like ohhh you think youre going to worm your way in-, implied sentence ending being "-to the inheritance," which is, like. the family knows it's going To A Girl. so.

PMT was childhood friends with paige, who is The Gay Cousin. it is deeply sensible to imagine them bonding over this, regardless of whether or not PMT (or even paige) knew at the time

it is, like, fully possible for a cishet dude to get sick of living with his shitty toxic abusive family and abscond at the age of 17, but also homelessness is an extremely prevalent issue among transgender kids in abusive families. the narrative of a transmasc kid growing up in an abusive, catholic extended family where girls are pressured to compete for a very gendered inheritance + leaving at the age of 17 & finding a new home among a bunch of gay artists is Significantly more compelling than the cis dude alternative. it just is.

okay i think im running out of, like, logical errors that make sense only if pmt was trans prior to the Obliteration, so as for the thematic stuff. like i said, rose being the half grammy decided was supposed to be "real" and blake being the half that's supposed 2 die for her 2 exist, rose just being unhappy and disconnected by nature of existence while blake is the parts of pmt that escaped from the constraints of the family + found happiness, so on and so forth. "catholic grandmother literally obliterated her transmasc nonbinary grandchild by splitting them into two binary gendered halves & expecting that the man they could've been die to allow the acceptable woman--literally forced to dress in grandmother's clothes--live on and do as grandmother wished" is Everything, doing the same thing but to a cis man grandchild is significantly less compelling

Others who r very old/operating on what are explicitly stated to be oppressive and antiquated gender roles as per the book's themes about inherited/traditional forms of harm keep mistakenly calling blake she/her and rose lmao

??? probably some other thangs im forgetting

[normansnt]

Im gonna say it again cuz apparently people don't listen.

This account is x MALE reader account.

I have no problem with non-binary, gender fluid or any other genders reading the stuff I post if they are feeling male that day or are more masc oriented, BUT females.

Obviously I do not discriminate in any way especially not due to gender however I will NOT tolerate fetishizing gay relationships nor do I want for you guys to change the gender I wrote it for on your heads or smthng.

While me and my fellow mascs might do that with x fem reader fics thats just cuz we barely have any written for us and we would like to escape from reality into fanfics as well.

Thats why I started this page because there are close to no stories for male readers and I was sick of it.

I write my stories for !MALE! Or masc oriented people NOT for femmes, Im sorry guys but there are a shit ton of fics for you so please leave these for my fellow mascs.🧡 🙏 🏳️‍⚧️

[nyiibat2]

Opinions /Hot takes I have as someone who’s been a part of the LGBTQ community for seven years (since I was 11/12)

There is certain events that go on at pride that children SHOULD NOT be at. There’s pride days that are family friendly!! I’m sick of seeing children at very clearly adult spaces.

It’s okay to change your mind on your sexuality and to change your label or not use a label at all.

If you are trans and you’re not yet passable please don’t try to use the opposite restroom or get into women/men’s spaces yet. You WILL get there I promise, just give it some time.

Just because you are one of the letters, if you’re white you still have your white privilege. You will never EVER be as oppressed as us POC letters.

Just because a bigot hiding behind a religion was a dick to you, doesn’t mean you get to be a dick to every religious person that you see. We are NOT all the same. Religion is about peace not violence.

Just because you’re a gay women doesn’t give you the right to rub up on or feel up other women especially POC women. This is sexual harassment! (Yes this has happened)

Children under the age of fifteen can NOT fully understand the concept of transitioning. Children identify as carrots some days. If your child says they identify as boy/girl that day, great encourage them. Don’t plant the seeds of being trans in their heads. If your kid is trans they WILL tell you when they’re a teenager. No medical transitions should happen till they’re adults. Puberty blockers can do severe damage to the body and should ONLY be given in extreme cases of dysmorphia under the supervision of trans mental and physical health professionals. Hate to Burst your bubble your body NEEDS to go through puberty to be healthy. Girls especially going through puberty have higher rates of thinking they’re trans because of the flush of new hormones, this is not always the case and they don’t have these feelings when their hormones have balanced, don’t do anything medical for your child unless it’s literally life or death.

The quote blue haired millennial liberals ruined the lgbtq community imo. They’re so quote progressive they’re actually conservatives. They are the reason a lot of bad/disgusting people feel comfortable in our spaces.

Gold star status is disgusting. Bisexual women and men don’t need to justify to your insecure gay or lesbian self why they’ve been with the opposite gender. If you’re that insecure seek therapy not a relationship.

Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re quote automatically one of the girls and quote you’re still a man, no im not showing you my hair or changing in the same room as you. Same goes for being the only female friend in a group of men, there’s boundaries guys! Don’t be fucking creepy.

Put some respect on the names of black and brown trans people and LGBTQ members that came before you to give your white privileged ass a space to be yourself to begin with.

We’ve gone too far with pronouns. They/them grammatically makes sense as it refers to someone not of binary gender. Y’all just had to take it too far with things like Zir/Zim Xer/xim, y’all even let people identify as Cats literally cats and use litter boxes.

[your-queer-dad]

Hey dad,

I'm a Non-Binary person and I am terrified of coming out to my parents.

Its not even like they wouldn't accept me, my mum is queer (pan) herself, and my dad frankly couldn't give a shit.

They know im 'queer', but i just don't have the guts to say "I'm not your [insert birth gender here] anymore, and I go by they/them", I could literally come out to ANYONE else just not them. On the other hand it makes me sick when they misgender me, and i feel like it my fault for feeling bad because its not like they know any better.

Idk I am on the spectrum so that adds to this dilemma tvT

Thanks for reading this

-Atlas

Hey kiddo! Coming out is really hard, even in a supportive environment. You're sharing something hugely personal to you for the first time, that's really hard no matter what. I say come out when you feel ready and sure enough to do so, it isn't a rush.

- dad x

[malewifesband]

i am once again begging white queers yes even you white trans person to understand you have enormous amounts of power over all black people yes even the cis and heterosexual ones i am sick and fucking tired of people on here going ohhhh this person is unfairly calling me racist it MUST be because im trans and thats why im being accused of being racist im soooo tired of whisper campaigns spreading lies. and by the way im going to spread every unsubstantiated rumor about the black person who called me racist its not the same bc im white so its not a whisper campaign if i do it

like genuinely fucking genuinely all the garbage within transphobia is the same shit black people have gotten globally, all over the fuckin world, for centuries from degendering to hypersexualization to pedojacketing and false rape and assault accusations all of these are really disturbingly common features of antiblackness both today and historically you need to make a fucking effort to actually learn about antiblackness SPECIFICALLY bc for one thing modern transphobia would hardly exist if it were not for antiblackness!! the myth of the sex binary and its immutability was part--and a large part--of the founding myths to dehumanize black people so that they could be sold into and kept in chattel slavery without making the slavers want to kill themselves for the fucking monstrosity of what they were doing to a person for fucking money. white scientists of the time made up that white people are more sexually binary than black people, while black people are too androgynous, so white people must be more evolved and thus can subjugate black people. and since that wasnt a fact, the borders of gender for white people had to become heavily policed and pathologized to maintain that myth, lest everybody realize what fucking monsters they were for what theyd allowed to happen and actively benefitted from

you need to understand antiblackness to have any hope of every understanding the material conditions of capital and its underpinnings, and frankly if you do not make that effort just kill yourself instead

[fleetstreetpies]

Can a person be transmasc and transfem simultaneously??

I’m genderfluid and intersex and im sick with a fever and have no filter and i need to know this shit because i have a fucked up relationship with sex and gender and if im feeling more adjacent to a specific binary gender (i almost never experience full binary male or female gender for some reason) then DOES THAT MAKE ME TRANSMASC/TRANSFEM (depending on the specific gender) or what does this do??

Like??? Is this shit even possible??? Or have i just transcended sex and gender so thoroughly that i genuinely exist outside of what humanity considers possible???

[inbedby1am]

Im so sick of the whole butch4femme thing holy shit

Like great another gender binary goodjob thanks

[transenbyconfessions]

Im so confused about my identity. I am diagnosed with gender dysphoria and have socially transitioned for a few years now, but I still fill l feel so conflicted/ confused. I think I'm a dude, but I don't want to be a man if that makes sense? I don't want to be a woman either, I just want a neutral, androgynous body. Whilst I call myself genderqueer, I don't consider myself non binary. I don't want a beard, or a big dick, or be like, a sweaty, masculine man. That makes me feel sick, honestly. Sometimes I like the idea of being a girl, but then I look at my body and feel so disconnected from it. I definitely am not a girl, but.. am I a boy?

I guess I want to be a soft, femboy, twink kinda guy. I just want to scream. Does being called "he" feel right or am I just convincing myself that? Am I just copying what I've heard from other trans people? Sometimes I feel like transphobic rhetoric is getting to me and I am just a confused little girl. What if it is just society getting to me? I just want to feel comfortable in my body. I want to be able to exercise and swim like I used to. I hate having to wear my binder all the damn time. This is shit. Why can't I be comfortable in my own skin. Why does it even matter.

Give me the answer, I give up the riddle. I just give up.

Submitted July 9, 2023