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#im touch-starved i hate it here
nsfw-godcomplex · 4 months
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Have you ever been so heartsick that it literally felt like a pit in your stomach
Recalling all the things that could have been done differently to make that singular encounter better and more memorable
Bc you know you're never going to see them again
Sigh
Anyway
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kittytheartist · 2 years
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IM GOING INSANE OVER TERUKANE RN GUYSS!!!!!!!!!
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#two worlds apart#im listening to songs#and juliet and fool by cavetown are driving me craaaazy#they really do think that they're unlovable and have no place by their loved ones but try their best for them in hopes they'll be enough#AND THEY FIND EACH OTHER!!!!#omg and the way they hate each other is sooooo🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈#ALSO FUCKING TALK TO ME BY CAVETOWN IS SO THEM LIKE I <3 IDIOTS#okay no wait they hate each other because they relate to each other too much#and because love is something you run from obviously#THEY'RE SO TOUCH STARVED TOGETHER#AND SO CUTE LIKE AHHHHHHH#the way TeruKane try to act strong but just want to be in each others arms LIKE AHHHH also gosh the pining is so top notch#THE ANGST THE FLUFF THE THE THE THE EVERYTHING!!!! THE HURT AND (sometimes) COMFORT#dont you just sit back and think about the first time the other saw one of them cry? like thats a little 🏳️‍🌈 but i wont say nothin#wait no really these boys deserve love like the way they hate each other is so denial like hear me out#feeling sick of myself think ill try to be someone elseee can't be hard to create a person in head a version the parallel~#okay i love TeruKane so so so much#THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE GETS ME SO BADDDDD LIKE I'M STAGGERING BACK HERE ISTG#they pine over each other while its requited but they're too stupid to notice#Teru come help the poor internalized homophobic fool#OKAY BUT IMAGINE THE FIRST TIME AKANE GOT TO REALLY LIKE COMFORT TERU ISN'T THAT SO CUTE#their dates would be so wholesome tbh like omg....#okay but they're so silly like them them them them#its so heart wrenching seeing them struggle to love each other and gahhhhhhhhhhh ITS 4 AM AND IM GONNA WRITE TERUKANE ANGST#like they try to love each other through the hard times but it feels like everything tries to pull each other apart and its like the#thing BUT THEY'RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER PLEASE DONT SEPARATE THEM!!!!!#they're canon tbh .....like🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 i aint sayin nothin but pretty sure you KNOW what im saying....💅#I CANT EVEN THE WAY THEY'RE BOTH ALWAYS ALONE AND NEVER NOTICED BUT THEN THEY FIND OUT THE OTHER HAS NOTICED THEM THIS WHOLEEEE TIMEEE#LIKE THEY SEE YOU FOR YOU!!! AND THEY WANT TO BE THERE BUT ARE SCARED TO NOT BE LET IN#THE WAY THEY FEEL EACH OTHERS PAINNNNN ITS SO SO SO SO SO AHHHHHH
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heartofhubris-a · 1 year
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I only have two full days with my gf left and I'm genuinely pained
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orcelito · 2 years
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oh god i hate some fanon akechi interpretations so fucking bad holy shit
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I don’t know why you telling that you don’t love me anymore doesn’t hurt.
I don’t really care.
You say there was lack of communication on both ends but it didn’t feel like that to me.
You were the one that never communicated.
I would asked you if you wanted to go out and do something with me.
Going to the zoo.
The movies.
Out to fucking eat.
And all I got was a yes or a maybe.
But then it would come to that day and I would message you.
Nothing.
Three messages later and it’s now late afternoon.
“Sorry can’t tonight I got a lot of homework to do.”
“Sorry not feeling well”
“Sorry forgot I had other plans”
You never once asked me if I wanted to go out.
I don’t care that this relationship ended.
It’s whatever.
I’ll be honest I did like you before but I wasn’t going to ask you out.
I know I’m unloveable.
But then you stupid fucking friends got in my head telling me that you wanted to date me but was too scared to ask.
They kept asking me until I did.
My bad I guess.
Oh and I won’t apologise for something that’s not my fault.
Never again.
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gigglegrub · 5 months
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God I just want to be loved. I want to be held and tworded and held some more. I feel so alone. I just want to feel loved.
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janitorhutcherson · 10 months
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olderbfyandere!mike schmidt
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surprise, bitches!!! im giving yall a lil taste of some more writing. im not really on hiatus (obvi, i post every 5 minutes) but i've been sooooo busy that i haven't been able to post half as much. with that being said, here are some more in depth headcanons ab yandere!mike. :p could not have done this without @futturmand literally helping me (coming up w/) most of these. thank u bae.
warnings: drugging, violence, sex, daddy kink, abusive tendencies
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olderbfyandere!mike schmidt was kinda an asshole. to his coworkers, random customers at the mall, anybody who came too close to you, and yes, even sometimes to you. he was the kind of guy who had a semi-permanent grimace on his face. the corners of his mouth would turn into smiles typically only when he was with abby or you two were alone and he could let his guard down. of course, even then, the moment you caught an attitude, that grimace would appear right back on his face. his demeanor was typically gruff. he was the kind of guy most people didn't want to mess with. this meant any male coworkers around you would be tested their fate to even glance at you the wrong way and god forbid mike saw one of them brush something off of your shoulder. that would truly be the end of them.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is very obsessive over safety. after losing garrett, he has this urge to do nothing but to protect. this means that mike is the type of guy to want your location at all times. not only that, but he wants to know what you're doing, who you're with, and what time you'll be home. he expects a text when you leave, a text when you get there, an hourly check-in, then a text on your way home. it brings him a sense of peace, knowing where you are. he watches life360 obsessively when you're not in his sight, watching your little bubble move through wherever you may be. he's constantly checking the speed of the car you're in, occasionally stalking your friend's instagram stories to see where you are. he's overprotective to the extent that it can be overbearing, but at the end of the day it's endearing knowing he cares that much.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt uses the fact that you're younger than him to manipulate you. he's less about violence or anything physical and instead uses his words. he will constantly remind you how helpless you are without him, how he has so much more life experience than you. he'll point out randomly when you mention not knowing how to do something, saying something like, "see, babydoll, where would you be without me? that's right, nowhere. you need me to take care of you." he's also the kind of guy to eventually make you financially dependent on him if he could ever afford it. he would never put you in that spot until he was comfortable enough to do so, though, meaning it might be a loooong time before that ever happened.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt treats you less like a partner and more like a little sibling, kinda like he treats abby. as strange as it is, he also feels a paternal instinct to protect you. it comes from his deep-rooted feelings of abandonment. he lost garrett, his mom, his dad, and sometimes he feels like abby hates him. he loves that you listen to him, that he can command you to do something and you'd be so good for him. he absolutely adores being able to control different aspects of your life, making you completely reliant on him. it makes him feel special and needed, which he hasn't felt in a very long time. he loves nothing more than when he gets to scold you almost like a parent, your eyes falling to the ground, that adorable wounded puppy look he loves so much taking over your face.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is incredibly clingy and touch starved. he wants to have a hand on you 24/7. forget having personal space, because you are not getting it with him. he'd follow you around, watching you everywhere you'd go. his hands would grip onto your hips so tightly sometimes it'd feel like they were glued to them. he'd always have his arms around you, kissing at your neck, nipping in a way you felt shouldn't be shown in public. mike didn't care, he wanted everyone to know you belonged to him in every single way. he controlled you, and if he wanted to embarrass you and turn your face red by leaving purple marks on your neck in the middle of a shopping plaza, then so be it. you would take it or be punished.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt who of course uses his sleeping pills on you when you're being a little brat. he isn't violent with you for the most part except for the rare occasion when he will hold you down onto the bed until you'll listen, but otherwise he opts for something simpler. when you're being a little too frustrating for him, going against his every command or you're not feeling like being held, mike will simply crush up his sleeping pills, slip them into your water. he's careful with you once you doze off, never abusing you in any way. all he will do is tuck you into your shared bed and hold your body in his arms, whispering sweet nothings as you're off in your own sweetly drugged up world.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt would most definitely have a thing for being called daddy. sorry guys, it had to be said. hot take, i guess. considering he did want to protect you so thoroughly, he loved when you'd call him daddy. it made him feel like your protector, like you knew he was the one that did everything for you. it was so crazy how such a simple word could change his whole day. he loved hearing it fall out of your lips as he'd brush through your hair or wash your body off in the shower. "thank you, daddy," you'd hum and he'd grin ear to ear. "you're welcome, babydoll," he'd always say, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
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gremlingottoosilly · 8 months
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AUGH Autistic loser König meeting Autistic loser Wifey!!! Not loser as in creepy, she just doesn’t really socialize with people or even want to learn how, and he finds her in the trash can and goes “mine now :-)” and she honestly doesn’t find this too unagreeable
He infodumps about the Roman Empire? I’m infodumping about the Mariana Trench and the Hadal Zone. He tells me to stay inside because he doesn’t want me seeing anyone else? Fine by me, I hate people and prefer to stay indoors and do my own thing. He needs cuddles and fucking? Im touch starved and Hypersexual, get your tall Austrian ass over here! We’re perfect for each other 🥰🥰🥰
This is literally Konig's dream girl! He can roar about wanting a 10/10 Instagram girlboss model with everything going on smoothly because he "doesn't want to deal with her problems," but he would fold for a loser gf who can support the conversation about nerdy things and who needs him just as much as he needs her. Your relationships are going to be very codependent and kiiiinda unhealthy, but no one cares! Konig and his gf(future wifey, he is just not sure about the rings yet) who absolutely adores him, and he just wants to have you all to himself! It's so good that you're so chill with everything, he adores this about you! You're his prettiest adorable girl who is going to sit on his lap like a good pet and choose the figures you are going to display. Even if it's from fandoms he doesn't know about, Konig will listen to your rambling and add stuff that he wants to...your house is going to look like it was decorated by a bunch of kids with too much money, but, honestly, Konig never felt so complete after spending his overgrown paycheck on something. He isn't even jealous when around you - although his loser nature makes him ask dumb questions like "would you love me if I was a worm immigrant who can only speak Serbian", he knows that you love him just as much as he loves you. It is quite funny how he works around not letting you go thought - at first it was bad weather, then it was about bears in the area, then - he was mumbling about not wanting to let you go, so you just let him place his head on your lap and push his face in your tummy because he obviously needs comfort...and you not notice exactly how much of your panties he already took.
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welovelouisandbucky · 9 months
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My two favorite Slytherin boys headcanons bc why not?
T/w: few swear words, my writing, and some out of character stuff because im delusional, little suggestive if you can call it that, and yes aside from that if you find any pls let me know:) also my writing
A/n: hi y'all, I just want to say pls be kind as this is my first time writing for these characters so if there's any mistakes pls overlook them thank you! Also I tried my best to keep this GN so everyone can read and enjoy this and yeah that's it, have great day!!!
S/n: requests are open so feel free to send in ideas, I'll love to write what you guys suggest. Also feel free to ask for more Slytherin or any Harry Potter characters you want headcanons/blurbs about, I'll love to write and add more🤗
Masterlist
Mattheo Riddle
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(gifs credits to the rightful owner)
Also this one's long as you can see I got carried away😁
Mattheo who always looks forward to see your face after the end of the day
Mattheo who will fight any one who looks at you funny or talks shits about you
Mattheo who glares at every single person but the seconds he spots you his eyes softens up in millisecond in adoration
Mattheo who holds your books or bag everywhere you guys go, because God forbid if his princess/prince ever has to worry about those things when he's there to do them for you
Mattheo who waits after you when the class is over so he can walk you to other class while he pulls you as closer to him as possible
Mattheo who searches for you before every Quidditch game so he can have his good luck charm kiss from you
Mattheo who pretends to hate and act tough when you baby him while secretly melting into a puddle inside every time you call him sweet names. ( He absolutely loses his shit when you call him baby but shush it's a secret 😌)
Mattheo who has probably drawn you only few hundreds of times in his super, super duper, very classified sketchbook that no one knows of.
Mattheo who always encourages you to do things you want to do but are too scared to actually do it.
Mattheo who always supports your decisions, even if they are stupid
Mattheo who appropriates your little hobbies and interests even if they are weird, he just wants to you to feel safe and heard around him
Mattheo who's always there for you whenever you need him, always there to hold you close on bad days because he knows how it feels when you are at your worst and there's no one to comfort you (thankfully he doesn't have to worry about being alone now that you are here as well as his friends)
Mattheo who struggles with expressing his emotions and feelings but still tries his hardest to show them to you because he wants you to know how much you mean to him.
Mattheo who's not that good at comforting but still pulls you to him because he can't stand seeing you cry and not do anything about it.
Mattheo who willingly listens to you rant about everything and anything because he loves hearing your voice (even if half of the things you said are going above his head but hey at least he's trying! ☺️)
Mattheo who hates not knowing what's happening around him because it makes him feel helpless and he hates feeling weak. That's why he always, and I mean always knows what's going on everywhere
Mattheo who's touch starved (bc yk all that being dark Lord's son and growing up with death eaters and all) and craves your touch. He's always in any way touching you, whether holding hands, or a hand on your thigh or waist just any kind of physical touch because he wants to be as close to you as possible.
Mattheo who loves loves cuddles, doesn't matter who's spooning who as long as you guys are in each other's arms.
Mattheo who loves you so much that it physically hurts him, and there's nothing he wouldn't do you
Mattheo who will always protect you no matter what
~~~
Theodore Nott
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Theo who loves to tease you throughout the whole day just so he can see you all worked up for him
Theo who looks forward to your quick comebacks every time he comments on something he knows he will get reaction out of you and absolutely loses his shit when you roast the shit out of him for it
Theo who calls you sweet endearments in Italian because he loves to see your confused smile, contemplating whether he roasted you or called you something sweet in foreign language
Theo who keeps you company while you finish your homework in library
Theo who loves spending time with you on Astronomy tower (he just in general loves spending time with you but astronomy tower is more special to him) while you are snuggled up against his side as you guys look at stars.
Theo who will read with you, doesn't matter what kind of books you guys are reading as long as both of you are together.
Theo who prefers reading classic novels but will happily read cheesy rom-com books with you because you said so (secretly he enjoys them too but hush🙈)
Theo who actually enjoys reading poetry, and sometimes when you guys are alone he'll read few to you
Theo who's always there to comfort you whenever you have problems with your family because he knows how it feels.
Theo who's always there to stand up for you in any situation
Theo who starts to smoke less around you if it bothers you, but if you smoke too then both of you guys will smoke together at the Astronomy tower
Theo who loves silence and doesn't enjoy talking much but is always ready to listen to you talk for hours, you are the only person he can talk and listen to for eternity without ever getting sick of it.
Theo who loves when you wear his clothes
Theo who said I love you first time when he saw you curse someone out because they said some shit about him, he doesn't really care whatever shit they were saying but seeing you stand up for him made him feel emotions he never felt before.
Theo who just absolutely loves you and wants to spend entirety of his life with you
Thank you so much for reading, likes and comments are very much appreciated. As well as positive criticism, pls don't hate this is a safe place for everyone!! Bye bye have great day!!!
~~~~
Enzo's headcanon!
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fairestwriting · 7 months
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Hey, hello, would it be possible to request the first years with a crush or s/o who's constantly very warm so they can basically act as a human heating pad but despite this they're very touch starved and basically melt into hugs and cuddles, gender neutral pronouns would be great, thank you very much and merry (probably late) Christmas if you do this and same to you even if you don't!
another oldie (Visibly. im so sorry anon. i hope an awesome holiday season) i just had to take...... in the name of all my fellow human space heaters
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Ace Trappola
One day, his hands got cold, and you were nearby, neck fully exposed, and Ace did what he would obviously do in this situation. Except it turned out he was the one shocked by how warm you are, even though he did make you jump a bit.
He's a fan of the physical affection. He doesn't fluster easily and likes showing you off all smug, linking your arms together or putting his over your shoulder while you're with your friends. The warmth is a great bonus.
When you cuddle up in a hot day, he whines about how you're gonna cook him alive and will jokingly "attempt" to push you off while giggling, then turning on the AC of his room or dragging you both somewhere cooler.
Deuce Spade
The first time you hug, Deuce gets spooked because he thinks you have a fever. He fusses over you for a few good minutes before you can explain anything. Then gets embarrassed of his reaction.
Being Deuce, he'll randomly revisit this worry, but mostly he just eases into it rather easily. He's a little shy, whether you're in public or not, but you can tell he feels comfortable with the way he leans into you.
Feels so bad if you're holding hands and his gets sweaty. Apologizes a billion times while wiping it clean on his shirt. Nevermind that it'd happen even if you weren't so warm, he just doesn't want you to ever feel awkward when touching him.
Jack Howl
Also really warm because of his wolf beastman genes, also surprisingly touchy. It's hard to tell which one of you is warmer, actually? Which in the end just means you end up comfortably cuddled up very oftwn.
...whenever you're away from others, of course. It's not that Jack hates the thought of PDA, but he "prefers to take it slow" (Read: Makes him blush way too easy)
Commiserates in the summer and celebrates in the winter if you're not very tolerant to heat like him. Sometimes he talks about his family's trips to the north with a voice softer than usual, hinting just a little bit that he'd really love it if you came along one day.
Epel Felmier
He's also on the warmer side temperature wise, but he's small, so he ends up getting cold surprisingly easily.
At first he's a bit spooked with the touchyness, really just because it's his first relationship, but it grows on him. A lot.
Epel thinks him getting cold easy-ish is embarrassing, so he really feels like he won the lottery here. Now he gets to put his arm around your waist to stay warm and look cool with you by his side, boy's on top of the world.
Sebek Zigvolt
Runs very cold. The first time your hand is anywhere on him he jumps a bit. The situation's like the inverse of someone who gets startled by their friend's cold hands pressed to their neck.
He briefly questions if you're really human, stammering something about how only beastmen are so warm. He's too distracted by how nice your warmth feels to make much sense.
He's so easily flustered every time you get cuddly, but if he even tries to push you off (Which he mostly just does if you're in public) it comes out all feeble. Even if he's trying to keep up with etiquette and you two actually have to step away from each other, it's all over his face that he misses the coziness.
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star-sim · 8 months
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your lips, my lips, apocalypse ☆ heeseung lee
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☆ non-idol! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: sex, love, and romance tasted like poison on your tongue, a secret that you held close to yourself for years. unfortunately, when heeseung kisses you, he, too, could taste that poison. ☆ genre: hurt/comfort, angst, veeery suggestive but no smut, implied college! au, unclear relationship status but can be viewed as friends to lovers ☆ warning(s)? implied s*xual abuse, hypersexuality as a coping mechanism, if youre not comfy with these topics don't read! ☆ word count: 2.0k ☆ atp im just writing my entire playlist... based off of apocalypse by cigarettes after sex <3
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Heeseung should have known the moment that your first instinct was to lower your head in shame and unbutton your shirt, revealing your lacy undergarments and bare skin, because you thought your then-boyfriend was angry at you.
He should have seen the signs when you had no problem shoving your tongue down every team captain's throat for everyone to see, but danced around the topic of sex, shifting uncomfortably in your seat as you clutched onto his sleeve.
He should have noticed the way you changed, how you slowly showed more and more skin, yet said less and less, shrinking into yourself whenever a pair of eyes glazed over you, almost like you were afraid.
But most of all, Heeseung should have known the moment that you attacked him with your lips, hungrily kissing him like a starved hyena.
He hated himself for realizing so late into the night. 
There the two of you were, sprawled across your bed. You had your back flat against the soft, white sheets, your bare skin so pretty under the warm light. Heeseung, shirtless in his own right, hovered over you, admiring you.
Both of you were breathless, lips swollen and eyes blown out as you ached for each other, spending the last hour teasing each other.
What started as a calm night with his dear friend became an impromptu makeout session, that then became the two of you half naked in your bedroom.
The first sign should have been how you faltered at Heeseung's mindless mention of his love-life, the way your expression pinched briefly. You let out a few sad words, yet your tone was so happy that Heeseung didn't notice the way your brows furrowed, sinking your teeth into your lips pensively. 
The second sign should have been the cloudy glaze over your eyes the moment Heeseung's hand accidentally brushed up against your thigh, and more importantly, the way your eyes were glued to his hand as he pulled it away, a small "sorry"falling from his lips.
The third sign was the way that you paused for a moment, giving him a confused look after you crawled on top of him, your lips attached to his neck. Heeseung's hand ghosted over your hips and waist, asking breathlessly, "Can I touch you here?" 
This should have been the nail in the coffin, the way you looked so quizzical just because he asked permission to touch you.
But now as Heeseung pinned you under him, his large, doe eyes gazing down at yours, he felt his heart pound. You looked so beautiful. The sight of you under him was something that he could only dream of, but now that you were right in front of him, Heeseung felt dizzy.
All these years, he'd been waiting for his moment— to be so close and intimate with you, you who he never really escaped from.
Heeseung could feel the warmth of your skin against his, the feeling being so delicious that he wanted to bask in it forever.
As his long fingers slithered down to the hem of your panties, dipping into them, Heeseung watched your face. 
Your head was thrown back, gazing up at him like he was a god. Your pretty lips were wet and parted, sucking in sharp breaths and letting out small sighs as Heeseung worked on you.
But what made Heeseung falter was the look in your eye.
He'd always known you to be bright-eyed; it was within your eyes that he could see the universe unfold before him, without a single speck of dust obstructing it.
But this time, your eyes told something different.
Earlier, they were filled with excitement and desire. But now, they were dull; storm clouds shrouded the sky that was your eyes, shedding a murky and foggy cast that was so dark that it bled onto the rest of your face.
Heeseung was no stranger to your past.
It was no secret that you had many sexual partners, almost to the point of being rumored to be a 'whore' or 'slut.'
Heeseung didn't know for sure, but he was perceptive enough to understand the link between the older boy that you dated for years in high school who was known for preying on younger girls, and your transition into being more sexually-charged. He had a feeling that your sudden change into being more sexual had something to do with the predatory nature of your relationship back then.
All this time, you'd told him that you were okay, that you'd moved on and did things because you wanted to do it, that you were no longer haunted by the memory of your sexually abusive ex-boyfriend from when you were seventeen years old.
But Heeseung could read you better than he knew.
From your eyes, he could tell that you were desperate.
Not desperate for sexual gratification or pleasure.
Not desperate to be touched.
Not desperate to be satiated by some sort of sexual hunger.
No, you were desperate to be healed, desperate to be held.
Of course. You were turning to sex to fix your problems. You were finding value in relationships and yourself through sex. 
You didn't want to have sex with him.
Slowly, Heeseung removed his hands from you, pulling up your panties and getting up to find your shirt. Without a word, he slipped your shirt back onto you, his hand fixing your disheveled hair.
Sensing that something was wrong, you gently grabbed his face, pressing your lips against his. For a second, Heeseung forgot everything, only relishing in the way that your lips felt. His body was begging him to relieve him of his desire. Atlas wanted you. Oh, he wanted you so bad. He wanted you selfishly.
But Heeseung wasn’t going to have sex with someone that didn’t want it.
“No,” he mumbled against your lips as he tried to pull away. “[Name]-”
You only pulled him closer by the shoulders, squeezing them. Your lips were now crashing against his aggressively and with a passion that felt artificial. “[N-Name],” he tried to pull away. “No.”
“I just—” you said in-between kisses, “I just really want you.”
Heeseung could have easily pushed you away, given your strength difference. But he refused to hurt you. With a firm jerk, he was able to get himself free of your grip.
"I can't do this with you," was all he said.
You looked like you were about to cry. Heeseung felt a pang in his chest, but all he did was shake his head. Heeseung silently got off of you, finding his pants on the floor and slipping back into them. He went to your bathroom to get a warm wet cloth to clean your wet thighs up, his hands gently grasping your skin as if you'd fall apart if he was too rough.
Just as Heeseung was about to throw the towel into your hamper, you grasped onto his bicep, digging your nails into it. You looked up at him with tearful eyes, your brows knit together as you began to sniffle.
"I-I'm sorry," you whimpered. "Did I do something wrong? A-Are you mad at me?"
Heeseung immediately tossed the wet cloth aside somewhere on your bedroom floor.
"What are you talking about?" He wrapped his arms around you, pulling your head to your chest, feeling your tears stain his bare chest. When Heeseung pecked your forehead, you wailed even harder, your arms coming up to pull him closer to you, holding him like he'd save you. "Why would I be mad at you?
"W-Why don't you want to h-have sex with me then?" you shakily choked out. "Am I— Am I not good enough?"
"No," Heeseung's eyebrows crashed together, his eyes narrowing. His words were serious, but his voice was soft, as soft as a feather for your delicate ears. "I could tell that you didn't want it, Baby. I would never get mad at you for that. I hope you know that."
The sound of your sobs must have been the worst thing that Heeseung had ever heard in his life. He didn't like it one bit. Those hot tears were tiny droplets of all the pain and abuse that you've suffered from. 
"I'm s-sorry," you whimpered. "I-I'm s-sorry."
What did they do to you? What have they done to you that you apologized so much?
Heeseung clenched his fists. His chest burned with a different type of anger, an anger that was so great that it was overwhelming, eating Heeseung alive and chewing him into dust. He'd kill them, he'd kill the son of the bitch that hurt you so much like this with his bare hands.
"Fuck," Heeseung cursed under his breath. In a single movement, Heeseung hoisted the both of you up, so that you were on top of him, your head rested on his chest. As tears spilled from your eyes, clinging to Heeseung, he petted your head. 
Heeseung was warm, warm in a way that you couldn’t describe. You wanted to fall into him, let your eyelids flutter down peacefully, and relish in what was his essence. 
You felt apologies prickle the tip of your tongue. After all, other than letting others use your body, saying sorry was the only other thing you knew how to do. You felt weak, helpless, like a wet dog at the mercy of its owner, yet you felt more sorry for Heeseung, who was now stuck with you. 
“S-Sorry—“
“Shhh,” Heeseung whispered into your ear. “Don’t apologize, Baby.”
“But—“
Heeseung hushed you. 
When your breath didn’t slow, in fact speeding up to the point that you were huffing in quick breaths and pushing out even shallower ones from your chest, Heeseung grabbed your hands. 
It felt like the entire world was crashing down into your shoulders, hitting you all at once. Everything hurt, your body was trembling yet you couldn’t feel anything. You should be okay, right? After every one-night stand or sexual partner that inevitably used you like a doll, you were always left alone and cold. You experienced this exactly, and you’ve dealt with it every time alone. You can do it again, right? If you’ve been alone all this time, you can deal with it this time alone, too—
“Hey.” 
Heeseung’s voice forced you out of your head.
“Hey,” he repeated, rubbing circles on your back. “Breathe.”
You swallowed down the sob that threatened to spill out. “I’m o-okay.”
“You aren’t,” he said simply. “I know you aren’t.”
You shook your head, pulling away from him. You wanted to shrink back into his warmth, to be sucked back into the paradise that was the comfort that was Heeseung, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You were scared.
Why would he want to be around you? Why would he even want to have a burden of a person like you to hold? You were a mess, a wreck that had too many problems to count. You were unlovable, broken, fragmented and with missing parts because of all the men that have robbed you of your identity, your autonomy, your ability to love, and—
To your surprise, Heeseung simply pulled you back in. His hands gently slinked to your wrists, pulling you back into him. Your mind told you to run away and hide, but instinctively, you melted into him.
“Let me take care of you,” Heeseung said. His voice was calm, light on your ears in a way that made your heart ache. He took your hand again, squeezing it. “I don’t care what you say, I’m not leaving you.”
“Please d-don’t,” you whispered back, so softly that your voice was barely audible. “Don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” was all Heeseung said. “You can count on it. I won’t.”
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minhosimthings · 6 months
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love.
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Synopsis: in which Hyunjin comforts you on a hard day
Warnings: fluff fluff fluff, heavily self indulgent because I can, hurt/comfort, reader cries, mention of food
A/N: yay I did this finally it's out of my notes Woohoo! Idk when this idea came into my brain but it did and I couldn't stop thinking about it so now it's here. For my loves @chlorinecake and @astraystayyh they are my Hyunjins
Song rec: love by Wave to Earth
The weight of the world on your shoulders.
You had often heard that phrase as a child. It was ridiculous, initially.
The world can't possibly weigh that much.
You were the smartest in your class, you knew the multiplication tables by the time you were five, the capitals of the world by eight, and by fifteen, the weight of nothing but your own shoulders dragged you behind everyone.
University was an easy affair, that's what you told everyone. Someone's got to keep up the smart girl, book child status up right?
Studies were easy, just understand it, write it down better. Yet, fuck, you could feel the words fading by, was it a stalactite or a stalagmite?
Graduation was easy, you were peaking and nothing was in your way!
Then you realised something.
The world did weigh too much.
Everyone weighed too much.
Your mind weighed greater than your heart, something you fought off for eons now.
And diamonds are formed under pressure, but hadn't you learnt that diamonds turn into graphite every now and then too?
You were so smart as a child, what happened?, You wished ever so fervently that you could tell them that you weren't a child anymore.
No longer the child that thought the only thing that she needed to do to be loved was to get a good grade off her papers.
Or was that love starved part of you still inside?
"Rough day, love?"
Love. It was the nickname you most adored. Lucky for you nicknames were Hyunjin's personal favourite job.
"Fuck..." You swore softly, immediately collapsing onto your couch, and wrapping yourself into the warm cocoon that was your boyfriend's arms. You swore you would become a butterfly from your current catterpillar state one day.
The gruesome world always seemed to calm down on its axis of rotation as soon as you reached Hyunjin's touch. As if he was the petals of honeydew calming down the speed of a hummingbird. Would you have been the overactive bird rushing around to cater to the needs of everyone around her?
You could hear your own heartbeat in the moments of silence, when the dust seemed to still and the winds seemed to wait, eavesdropping on conversations old and new. The hauntedness of the thumping sound made you shiver.
The tightness around your throat felt tighter by the moment, like an invisible rope hanging round it. Your heart felt too heavy too for some reason. It's a heart, you tried to convince yourself, you need it to live. But you knew that you could rip it out of your chest at this moment, and you would still keep living on. But did you really have to-
"Want to talk about it, love?"
That was the straw that broke the camel's back.
A loud sob ripped through the thick air, coating the curtains of the atmosphere in a blueish paint that seemed to have rotted inside it's bucket far too long. Hyunjin was quick to bury your head further into his chest.
You know you smell really comforting?, that went on in his mind, the thing you said on your first cuddle session, in which, he remembered fondly, you described his scent a bit further than most people usually did.
Broken strings of words escaped your lips, I'm sorry—im so sorry! Guilt always flowed through your veins whenever anything like this happened.
But Hyunjin understood, he always understood. And fuck, you both hated and loved that he understood.
One hand lay on the back of your head, while his other caressed your back, rubbing circles on it. As if a magical void would appear and take all your problems away.
Hyunjin was your magical void.
"Can you talk to me?" Hyunjin asked quietly. He felt you shake your head against his shoulder, causing him to tighten his hold on you.
"It's going to be okay love. I promise you."
Another wave of tears surged through you, nearly making you double over at the rush of fresh emotions popping off in your brain, your jaw tensing as you tried to stifle the illegible babbling falling from your lips. 
Hyunjin's words in your ear and his hand rubbing ribbons of comfort onto your back made you catch your breath, and slow down. Silence rose once you had stopped crying, you felt even more tired now and you had to admit, Hyunjin was a nice pillow.
The occasional sniffle and tired breath from you, broke Hyunjin's heart even more. He hated seeing you cry, so much so, he'd always distract you if he ever sensed you were in a depressed mood. Even if there were times that you poured your entire heart out of him in tears, he'd always shed his own tears in private, sometime later.
"Love?"
"Hmm?"
"Want me to run you a bath?"
"With the candles and everything?" You managed to say in a quiet, exhausted voice. Your throat was tired from all the crying.
"With the candles and everything." Hyunjin smiled down at you, pushing back stray strands of your hair behind your ear, "Can we go up to the bedroom, love? Can we do that?"
He was speaking so softly to you, and it was making you want to sob rivers again.
Silently nodding, you felt yourself droop down all over again as soon as Hyunjin got you up, strong arm wrapped around your waist, hugging you to his side.
Pressing a sweet kiss to the side of your head, Hyunjin started with shuffling moments upto the bedroom, which you followed, not even being able to lift your head up from the pure exhaustion.
Sitting on the bed felt like you were hung down by iron nails, while Hyunjin prepared the bath for you. Even a moment without him felt down, and even if it was a bit dramatic , you were willing to admit it.
"Hands up?" Hyunjin looked at you softly, taking off your shirt for you and discarding it in the empty laundry basket, "You did the laundry yesterday? Wow, I'm proud of you baby."
You let out a breathy giggle at his words. Hyunjin somehow always knew every word in the instruction manual of how to make you laugh.
"Is the temp alright?"
You couldn't get yourself to say yes so you hummed what seemed to have been a 'yes'. Your throat was raw, and your face was congested as well as your chest. You sounded like you swallowed a frog, and the frog was also now sick and subsequently congested.
The water truly didn't have any texture or temperature to it when you got into it. The world felt numb again as you relaxed into the tub, which, evident from the scent, Hyunjin had filled with your favourite bath salts.
What seemed like a year's worth of time, passed in silence, as Hyunjin quietly stroked your skin with soap, was it the lavender one or the tea tree one? You couldn't tell, remembering how you often joked that both of them gave off the same perfuminous vapours and that Hyunjin should just buy one of them. The water seemed more mellow now.
"Love, look at me?" Hyunjin's voice broke you out of your seemingly never-ending stupor. Like it always did.
You turned your head and rested your eyes on Hyunjin's softened ones, and you felt that familiar tightening of your throat again.
"Hyun I-"
"Don't you dare apologise." Hyunjin said before you could even get a word out, "You never have to apologise to me. Not for this."
His hands were sickeningly sweet as they ran over your back, washing lathers of soap off of your back, his voice even more so.
“You deserve to relax, you know that right?" Hyunjin said, as he wrapped you up in your purple coloured towel, "“You did so well today and you do so well everyday and you deserve to rest for a while."
Hugging you into his arms again, Hyunjin provided you with a little den, a cave where you could settle into whenever you felt that you were too tired for a lion's hunt. And you were forever grateful to him for him.
"Now-" Hyunjin looked down at you with a cheeky smile, "You are not allowed to leave the bed until you finish every single cupcake I got you."
"You got me cupcakes?" Your lips broke into a smile, a genuine one this time, "What flavour?"
"Beef." Hyunjin joked, sending both of you into a frenzy of laughter, as you pressed a kiss against his nose, making it turn the touched skin like a tomato.
The one thing that you'd have never admitted to anyone when you were younger was the fact that you wanted to be loved. That was a silly notion to you.
But maybe now, under the watchful gaze of Hyunjin as he saw you devour the cupcakes, you'd admit it.
You'd want to be loved, even if it was another weight on your shoulder.
Maybe that'd be a weight you'd like to ephermally lift.
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slvttyplum · 11 months
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im having suguru brain rot
didn’t edit this so idk.
suguru walks in the kitchen where you’re popping grapes in your mouth scrolling on your phone.
“yo.” he says as he slides in front of you opening the fridge.
his hair is all messy and his wife beater was cropped showing his v-line and happy trail, your eyes subconsciously sliding all around his body.
the slam of the fridge startling you, you snap out of it.
“suguru whats your major again?” you blurt out. the truth was, you needed him. you didn’t care what conversation was needed you just wanted to hear that—
“psychology.” he deadpans, sliding past you again walking towards the pantry. your eyes follow his tall figure, his back muscles pushing out the shirt, and the wall those black sweats fit around his small waist.
sexy voice. sexy mind. sexy body. sexy major.
you could never really catch a glimpse of his face since both of you have two different schedules, when both of you were home he would stay cooped up in his room.
that didn’t bother you much since it did make you a little uneasy to have a male roommate in the first place, you hated to admit it but you were shallow, that man was fine.
so him being a guy living with you wasn’t a bother.
you slipped another grape into your mouth thinking to yourself, what’s something else you could ask him or talk about, this was your only chance, he rarely spoke to you.
“breaks coming up, are you going back home?” you ask, your voice cracking.
you mentally curse yourself, that wasn’t a good one but you gotta do what you gotta do.
he turns his head looking at you, his dark eyes looking you straight in the eye and his eyebrow and lip piercing shining from the light.
damn he’s fine.
he turns his head back to the pantry then closes it, he wasn’t feeling any of the good options today, maybe he could…
he folds his arms against himself leaning his butt against the counter near the pantry.
“unfortunately no, i have way too much to do here and i don’t live close so.” he says, playing with the piercing on his lip.
your eyes light up, this was fate, it had to be. you would make it your life goal to make sure you guys talk everyday.
“awe bummer, i’m not going home either, i don’t feel like flying.” you say tucking your hand in the waistband of your pants trying to warm it up.
suguru scans your figure and looks back at your face, his dick jumping.
“maybe we could hang out.” he says leaning off the counter.
your eyes almost fall off hearing this, this was all working in YOUR favor. oh universe what did i do to deserve such kindness you think to yourself.
a grin forming on your lips but you quickly wipe it off, “yeah i would love that.”
he smiles, his smiley piercing shining. god please.
“good, i’m a little hungry can you do something for me?” he asks leaning on his side only a few inches away from you.
your ears start ringing with anticipation, were you a genius or were you a genius. he’s going to ask you on a date, this was your time.
“can you lay across that table, i want to eat.” your jaw drops and the grape that was in the hand drops.
what?
“sorry, huh?”
he’s smirking and his hands drop down walking towards you, almost nothing helping the distance.
“sorry if that came off too blunt, it’s just… you look good and im starving here.”
your throat is closing by the second, your pupils forming in the shape of a heart, if he was saying what you thought he was then…
“fuck!!” you yelp out. suguru grabs your hand placing it on top of his head, telling you to grab.
he tongue swirling all around you, spit mixed with your liquids dripping off his chin.
his eyes glued to your pussy, his hands gripped around you.
his tongue piercing gliding over your clit every second, your body shivers from the cold touch every-time.
your hands sliding and grabbing his hair, where did he learn this oh my—
“god! right there!”
his eyes are rolling as his hands grip your thighs with force, his nails digging into you.
saliva was foaming inside your mouth, dripping off the side. the knot deep inside your stomach was tightening, and you felt like you were dying.
his tongue sliding from deep inside you to sucking your clit, the pattern and rhythm stopping your climax.
you tug on his hair, “keep sucking.” his eyes shoot up to you, smirking. he takes one of his hands off your thigh, sliding it under him and right into your pussy.
your breath hitches and a sharp feeling explodes in your stomach, back arching, your liquids leaking.
you flop back on the table, your head spinning.
suguru gets up licking his lips. “i’ll be back tonight, maybe we can do this again.”
your head shoots up and the heart shapes still in your eyes and the ringing in your ear was still there.
“yeah yeah for sure.” you say wiping off the drool.
he smiles at you and walks back to his room, you slide off the table clearing your throat.
for sure…
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romaevelizz · 5 months
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Shh J let it happen˖ ࣪⊹
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summary; Haikyuu guys as moments me n my man have had that tickle my brain.
characters; tanaka, hinata , kageyama, tsukishima xblk reader!
warnings: uhh wierd ig, cursing, beating eachother(romanticly),insults(big back,kys), chaos, Hinata(bc he has braces it’s a hc! Relax guys geez), not proofread!
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.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.
TANAKA
☆ Sharing food but your both absolutely starving because y’all both broke. Like he’ll text you ‘bby wanna go get food😝’ And of course you say yes bc who are you to say no to some big back action with your man. Y’all head to a nice little wing place, “oh ight let’s fuck up some boneless get 30 for us to share 15 fo’ yo Fatass and 15 for me gotta keep the gut healthy!” You say with a smile over at him.
This motherfucker looks you dead in the eye “you only get 10, can’t let that big back get to ya already hallin’ enough back there.” He spoke his eyes looking down at your ass his hand GRABBING A HAND FULL.
Your jaw dropped “nigga.” Speechless. IN PUBLIC, HAVE SOME DECENCY LORD. He had a fat smile on his face to. How he gonna low key fat shame you but complement you at the same time.
Him leaning in whispering “your ass, fat.“ He spoke sticking his tongue out at you his hand holding a space indicating it as your butt in a ‘this big’ his hands far apart from echo other. You hand going over your mouth.
Your eyes traveling away for him meeting some ladies with a horrific look and a frown on her face. You couldn’t help your self letting out as muffled laugh quickly turning back to him. Your hand grabbing his bicep, as you fall forward laughing “HELP ME.” You hollered.
HINATA
☆ What’s a couple to do when they’re bored, make out! Why not! It’s fun!
You and him getting as it. It was all cute at first then him not paying attention to where his hand go touching your sides tickling you. You yelping because it fucking tickled, you face smashed against his, both out y’all pulling back your head dropping as you held yourself. Hinata poor baby leaned forward going to kiss the back of you head as an apology him talking into your hair.
His braces get CAUGHT IN YOUR CURLS. YUPPPP that’s the cherry on the mf cake! Now your both panicked, him trying to pull back but your scalp is sensitive rn bc you just took your hair out. And HES PULLING.
“BABY PLEASE WAIT.” You begged.
“IM SORRY!”
Only a few strands came out, to be fair y’all were just being dramatic. Smh.
KAGEYAMA
☆ He hated it when you would wear a nice lip combo with a sitcky gloss. No no no, not because it looked bad but because he couldn’t kiss you. Walking together holding your hand as you walked him to morning practice he was just glaring at you.
Mind you you don’t know what the fuck his attitude if for, “what is your problem.” You scoff stoping in that hall way, pulling your hand back to cross your arms. His expression changing a bit cause how dare you pull your hand from him!
His eyes narrowed “nothing. No problem do YOU? have a problem.” He sassed his hands landing on his hip.
Oh you wanted to pop him in the mouth “Why do you act like this.” You spoke your index finger pointing at him in a dramatic manner.
He scoffed throwing his head to the side “you just hate me that all.”
Oh BROTHERR. “boy, it you don’t-“
“I wanna kiss you but your face is done.”
Face done? OH! “My gloss? Baby I just don’t want you having to walk around with the sticky feeling plus it will leave marks.” Because truthfully you don’t mind fixing it if need be you just don’t want him to go crazy bc his face was sticky.
His eyes met yours “umm okay?”
You grinned his sassiness making you giggle now “then come here,” you said your hands grabbing his face kissing him one the lips.
Pulling back a little “don’t hold out on me women.” He said, alright! You kisses him a few more times then his cheek, your lip combo all over his lips and smudge on the side of his face. He pulled back a prideful smile on his face.
“Ouuu okay baby! I fear you ate this combo better than I do.” You teased.
He walked into practice like that.
TSUKISHIMA
☆ Ahh yes it’s a nice little hang out session peaceful laying together, Kei watching his phone his other hand rubbing small circles into your back. Your face was on his chest as you watched his phone with him.
You back was starting to hurt so you adjusted your self his hand now on your stomach as you faced away from him your head in between his bicep and chest. This fucker, HANDFULL, and I mean a HANDFULL OF YOUR GUT.
“Absolutely not.” You started.
“Shut up.” He responded immediately, his tone flat.
“Kei let go of my fat.” You groan
“Die. I like holding on to it.” Not an ounce of emotion leaving his lips.
“I don’t give a fuck.”
Needless to say he didn’t let go, his large hand kneading your stomach. He was pleased with himself ignoring your dramatic sighs.
So you just laid there dying in silence as he played with your rolls, he loved them, a lot. For not good reason but he genuinely loved them but you(I) HATED, them just being played with sometimes but you gotta just take it sometimes.
Laying there you let your mouth latch on to his bicep. “You leave a hickey im pushing you on the floor.”
“The voices say I have to.” You whispered latching onto him just sucking in his arm.
“I’m gonna lose my mind.”
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wrennyfics · 2 days
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sub!snape headcanons :)
{part one}
im working on some sub!snape fics rn (ur requests), but in the mean time... have this
im high. so i apologize if thiss is a mess. pls ignore the grammar or whatever
warnings: NSFW, explicit, smutty (MINORS DNI OR I STG)
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alright here we go (virgin, inexperienced, sub!snape)
My headcanons about...
Kissing: I honestly, this is kinda sad, but i imagine that sev was always really scared to be kissed because he thought it would be a prank. The first time you kiss him would have to be somewhere private, for this reason and the fact he hates pda, and you'd have to ask him. (i mean obviously, consent is important folks) but i mean, like literally verbally, "Severus, can I kiss you?" And i think at first his face is just blank, like hes trying to figure out if you're serious, amd he gets all flustered, and blushing and like "i, uh, you want.. are u sure? i.." or he is literally speechless and just nods
Kissing Cont. As the kissing gets more intimate i feel like hed be breathing pretty heavily. we know this man is skilled at occulemency and can control his emotions sooo well.. but when it comes to this... i think that man lets it go and is just a shaky, panting, flustered mess
Teasing: Especially in the beginning, he doesn't like to tease you or make moves. One, he's impatient. Two, he doesn't really know what to do and is scared of doing the wrong thing and messing up. But the second you start kissing on his neck... Running your hands down his body...
Preferences: sub!snape i think def prefers gentle!dom. i don't think he'd be totally against pain or stuff like that... but especially at first and for the most part, imo he would prefer to be taken care of. like lets bffr, his entire life he was neglected, touch starved and forced to always be in control. I think he would crave giving in, letting someone else control him
Prefrences Cont. He keeps his clothes on, especially at first. prob the trauma, mixed with insecurity, mixed with a bunch of other fun stuff. But at first, he is nearly fully clothed.
Kinks: Praise. 100%. And if you asked him before you guys had had sex about praise he probably would've scoffed. But the second you're on top of him the first time, moaning his name, saying how good hes making you feel, how well he's going... I think hes like o h. also slight degredation
Kinks cont. I don't think he'd like to be tied up tbh. as pretty as that'd be.. i think he'd need to touch you, feel you, his hands roaming everywhere. being pinned down by your wrists is different tho
Fav positions: when he's sub! he def likes you riding him, pinning his wrists down, taking what you need from him. he gets to see your whole body.. and relax for once and be a lil selfish in his own pleasure
Oral: sub!snape def prefers to give as opposed to recieving, i think this about dom!snape too, but especially about sub!snape. especially when you ride his face, when he gets to look up at you, watch your face contort in pleasure... especially when you grind down on him, but giving sub!snape head is like, a religious experience fam. on jah, on your jaw, dun dun tiss. yea that man is a shaking, whimpering mess, his hands clawing at the sheets, panting, cursing, begging. yep
His first time: lets be honest guys. he aint lasting long. but i think he would be like THIS? is what its like? and then proceed to overexhaust himself by going ten times because how in the world had he never felt this before.
misc.
he never used to touch himself much, insecurity and yk depression, but since you... whenever you're gone... he fucks his pillows yep i said it.
he def likes to edged, and having to beg for it. idk why, but i'd die on this hill.
he blushes so easy. like so easy. the man is so pale, one compliment or small kiss and his face is red
he's relatively quiet. he's verbal, but doesn't moan very loud. more so whispers, begs, quietly.. especially at first when he's more shy. but when he starts to get desperate, maybe after a lil bit of edging... he whimpers when he cums and thats just the truth
but if you compliment those whimpers.. tell him how much it turns you on.. he'll let them out even more
building on that, he wants to please you. be good for you. know that he's doing it right. in a horny way and also in a kinda emotional like.. she really does want me look at how shes reacting kinda way
loves to watch your face when he's making you cum
the first time you pull his hair hes like oh....
needs a lil extra aftercare after being sub! cause its a very vulnerable thing for him.. but his fav is just to lie there, cuddle you, bonus points if you praise him and tell him how proud you are of him
this was shameless.
cheerio xx
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anervousmirrorball · 8 months
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they told me all of my cages were mental so I got wasted like all my potential. i was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here. ive been having a hard time adjusting i had the shiniest wheels now they're rusting. i wake in the night i pace like a ghost the room is on fire invisible smoke. i wander through these nights I prefer hiding in plain sight. no one wanted to play with me as a little kid so ive been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it seem effortless. i have this thing where I get older but just never wiser midnights become my afternoons when my depression works the graveyard shift. i never grew up it's getting so old. i cut off my nose just to spite my face then hate my reflection for years and years. i should not be left to my own devices they come with prices and vices I end up in crisis. i stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. if it's all in my head tell me know tell me ive got it wrong somehow. i searched the party of better bodies just to learn that my dreams aren't rare. i gave my blood sweat and tears for this i hosted parties and starved my body. every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness. i know my pain is such an imposition. everybody moved on I stayed there dust collected on my pinned up hair. my friends found friends who care. it's me im the problem.
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