#im visiting my family for the first time in like 3?4? years

[tojikai]

Sundered (Alt. Ending): CRUSH

Pairing: Gojo x reader - Toji x reader (this part)

• Part 1  |  Part 2   | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending

Sundered+ (COMMISSION)

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments

word count: 5.8k

a/n: here it is! (it's late, sorry. not proofread too😭) im forever grateful to you all who waited and supported the sundered series and for supporting my other stories too. i cant do much but this means so much. ily.

If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.

“Do I not deserve it?” You asked him, almost flinching at your words when you promised yourself you’d never ask anyone that. Toji sighed, taking both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. “Not this. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be genuinely happy without sacrificing anything, without feeling spent.”

Your brows furrowed, trying to contain another flood of tears threatening to overflow from your already swollen eyes. Why does it always have to be so hard when it's you? When it was Satoru who tried to move on, he did with Naomi. You wouldn’t say it was a breeze for them but you just know it was never this hard.

Naomi and Satoru stayed together for a year, being the family you couldn’t give your child. And now you, you couldn’t even make it work with Toji. Why do you always have to feel stuck? Why does he refuse to take your hand and pull you out of this void that is slowly sucking you down?

Along with these thoughts, you felt a squeeze in your hand. “Y/N?” Toji called, “Y/N, it’s gonna be alright.”  No, it’s not, you thought. The roof of your mouth tastes bitter against your tongue; so bitter that it burns. “It’s not. But it’s alright. I just don’t want you to feel burdened with this, alright?” You reached up to his face, eyes wandering.

“I’m sorry.” You felt selfish. You felt so selfish for not thinking about how this void of yours could pull him down with you instead of him pulling you up. You felt so selfish for wanting him to keep hurting just so you could feel safe. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this, I didn’t realize it would be this hard on you too.” Your throat feels tight all of a sudden.

You stepped away from him, sniffing as you wiped your tears away. You couldn’t remember what else he said, you couldn't remember how you ended up in that room alone, crying as you clutched your chest, blaming yourself for wearing out such a good man.

You couldn’t remember, or more like you chose not to carve into your memory how that day ended. The only image you can see in your head is how he cuddled you to sleep, woke you up to eat with him and the kids, and went home. You remember him saying that they could always visit. And you hated yourself for doubting him.

Now you smooth out the bed, rearranging the pillows and gaslighting yourself that you’ve been the only one sleeping on it all this time just so it wouldn't feel so unfamiliar. You changed the sheets and prayed you wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night, reaching for the man you love. 

And the fact that this wouldn’t be the first time that you would do so…

You remembered how you would wake up and break down at midnights during the first few months of your separation from Satoru, weeping as you ran to your daughter’s crib just to remind yourself to be stronger, locking your phone away to not call and embarrass yourself in front of him and his then-new girlfriend again.

You heard the sound of the video your daughter was watching as she sat on the bean bag in the corner of your room. “Mama, look it.” You heard her tiny footsteps tap the floor as she ran to you, holding the phone out. The screen flashed with Toji’s caller ID, “Thank you, baby.” You kissed her cheek as you picked her up to sit her on your lap. 

“Yeah?,” You answered, hearing a sigh from the other end. You pulled your toddler closer to you just as she started to move near the edge of the bed. You that your voice didn’t sound hoarse at all. You didn’t cry as hard as you did with Satoru, but it was painful enough that you had to pause some chores just so you could think of a solution to fix it. 

You doubted there was a fix and if there was, you felt like Toji would only be trying out of pity for you.

You’re tired of that. You don’t want people to feel sorry for you anymore. You feel like you’ve been nothing but pitiful every year of your life. Your dad gave up on you and your mother, your baby daddy gave up on your relationship with him and now you feel like you caused Toji to give up on you too. 

Your brows bumped together at the thoughts and you were quick to shake your head, hoping it would shed off the searing pain in your chest as well. You can't have self-pity when you have a child. You’re determined to be better for her. Your index finger found its place on your lips, listening to your ex’s voice.

“Just wanna know how you’re doing.�� You wanted to laugh, not to mock him but because you don’t really know how to explain how you feel to him. You decided to answer it from the surface, “I am okay, surprisingly.” You sniffed, hearing a sigh from the other end of the line and a tiny laugh from Megumi, probably watching something on his iPad. 

You would say it’s too early for him to call you, but this whole breakup isn’t even like the normal ones. You broke up for each other's well-being. Not because you fought, not because one of you cheated, not because you just started to hate each other. You broke up wanting only the best for each other.

“I know this is for the best.” You wanted to help Toji feel better about this decision. You could tell that there was guilt on his part. He probably feels like what he did was just an inch kinder than Satoru’s way of leaving you. That would eat him inside. The last thing Toji wants to do is shatter all your progress.

“I don’t feel the best about it.” There was no hint of amusement in his chuckle, no trace of smile in his words. You don’t even know if he meant to say he feels bad for doing this to you. You don’t want to assume that he’s not doing better away from you because you’re pretty sure he’s more relaxed now that he doesn’t have to worry about his girlfriend thinking of someone even when she’s with him. 

“Please, don’t dwell on it. I, uh, I have thought things through and it’s… it’s just getting kind of lighter for me.” You blinked away each tear that came with the lies that are flowing out of your tongue. It’s not getting any lighter. If anything, the crushing weight is still continuously pressing down on you and you know any time soon, you might break down in this phone call.

“I don’t know if I can trust your words…” Aside from the fact that it has only been a day, Toji thought back on your last conversation before you broke up. He’s well-aware of your tendencies to push all of your feelings aside  because you blame yourself for the fall of your relationship. You would probably shoulder all of this again, like you did with your separation from Satoru.

Toji isn’t all clean here but he doesn’t know how to get that to you. You can be very stubborn when it comes to these things especially when it concerns your past. It’s an unhealed part of you and Toji can’t help but feel like your previous arguments, his words to 

you and how he made you feel contributed to it rather than alleviate it.

“Toji, this isn't good for me. For us,” You’re not talking about your relationship with him but it’s about him contacting you. “I know that we’re still good, we broke up to save each other,” you laughed half-heartedly, “Our kids are friends, of course, we can’t just throw that away, but for now…” You took a deep breath.

“For now, let’s give each other space. I’m not mad at you, I could never hate you but, Toji, this isn’t helping me at all.” The crack in your voice sent a blow to Toji’s heart, “I…I want to be able to talk to you, see you and visit Megumi with Yui without feeling the guilt of letting something so good slip away so, please...” You took a deep, painful breath.

“Let’s just give each other some space. Just until I have picked myself up again.” You covered your mouth, desperate to turn away from your child who’s been starting to glance at you. Toji’s silence felt like it could squeeze you, like a soundless bubble getting smaller and smaller around you. 

“I’m sorry. I…I shouldn’t have called.” Of course, you’re not fine, Is he out of his mind? The voices in Toji’s head knocked sense into him as he realized what he did. How could he be so insensitive? Is it because he knows of his crimes, the source of his guilt and how he didn’t think it would affect him as much as it does now?

Now, even this breakup feels selfish. How could he just decide to leave when you’ve been trying so hard? He’s not different from your baby daddy—running away when they couldn’t handle the pressure, leaving you to clean up after the mess. Toji closed his eyes tight, clearing his head, begging himself to say the right words and make the correct decisions.

“I—I’m still here for you always, alright? Take care, Y/N. Kiss Yui good night for me.” He spoke slowly, fighting the loss in the empty space he’s staring at, absorbing your soft hums and apology as he continued, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry, baby. It took every fiber in his baby not to say it like that. For your sake. And for him. 

If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.

You put the phone down, feeling your daughter’s head on your chest as she stared up at you. Your mother once said that children do not understand these things yet but they feel their parents’ pain when it happens. And just like that, it’s almost as if your baby girl can read you. Her eyes says that she wants to help but doesn’t know how because she doesn’t eve understand it.

“Mama sad?” Her voice was small, it’s amazing that even at her age she knows how to try and soothe you. She knows that this is not the time to be playful without even knowing the situation. All she knows is that her mother is sad and crying. “No, mama’s just tired.” You smiled at her and for the first time she seems hesitant to reciprocate it.

“Mama sleep.” She got suddenly, bouncing her way to the spot next to you as she gets into a curled sleeping position. She’s a smart child. You laid down next to her, cuddling her small frame for as long as she can sit still but it wasn’t long before she was playing again, forgetting about it all. She’s still a baby after all. But this kid right here is the one who will always pull you out of the waters.

You wished that you could forget and get over this as quickly as this baby does, You wished it would all just fly out of your mind, that you could just throw up all of the pain out of your heart. You wished that you could just dust off the broken pieces of your relationship from your clothes, that you could scrub away the pain in the shower and watch it flow down the drain.

—————————-

“Look, I know Yui’s always been our priority but if you need a bit of time for yourself, you know you can leave Yui with me.” Satoru came earlier than expected. You can tell that he’s trying to stay inside the ‘boundaries’ as he struggled to find the right words to say about your breakup with Toji.

“You should take a break from work, if you think that’s what you need, I will-“ You placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. Satoru doesn’t want to seem like he’s taking advantage of the situation, that’s the last thing he wants to do. As painful as it is to admit it, he knows that you love Toji. 

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You forced out a laugh, trying to make it better than how it really is. It’s clear to Satoru that you’re having a hard time. He could see it in your face, your eyes. Satoru remembered those times when he would do anything just to avoid looking at you and seeing how badly he broke you.

He was heartless for letting himself make you feel like that. He was stupid for letting you feel like that. 

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You let out a laugh, retracting your hand away as you reached for the towel to wipe your daughter’s food-stained cheek. “Megumi and Yui still play together, I mean they’re besties now, right?” Yui giggled at the mention of her friend.

As much as Satoru wants to have another chance with you, he just doesn’t think he would deserve it just like that. Also, he doesn’t think he can see you like this everyday. Now he wants to talk to Toji. If it’s because of his interactions with you then Satoru himself would volunteer to give the big guy the assurance he wants. 

It would be painful for Satoru but to see you so dull makes him want to give up his fight. If he even has some. His friends, mostly Shoko, already told him that he already lost all his chances. “You’re not a cat. You don’t get nine lives in this Satoru.” She would say and Suguru would quickly add “You used to have nine lives, actually. But you’re a dead man to her now.” It was playful but depressing talk but valid but…sad.

It was everything but playful to Satoru, no matter how much his friends tried to lighten up the delivery, it still felt like playing darts with his heart. Because he knows how much truth those words hold. He would smile and shake his head. His friends are never the ones to sugarcoat shit. 

After saying goodbye to  Y/N with his baby girl, Satoru can’t help but feel curious about your breakup. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that it’s Toji’s decision because of how you are right now. He doubts that you’d be the one to break it off. You’re a fighter, he knows that. He hates that you have to deal with these cowards of men who only know how to break.

But of course, Toji’s more deserving than him. That’s the bitter truth. Toji left for your good, while Satoru…just gave up on you back then. He will regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn’t get you back. 

Get you back. He felt like a villain, hoping that you were the first to initiate the split. That would give Satoru so much hope. Thinking about why you did it (if you did), taunts him into assuming that maybe you still have something with him. But this isn’t right. No. Satoru should be better than this. Your happiness comes first. Even if it’s not with him.

Satoru swallowed the rushing mix of emotions that fogged his mind as he drives. It felt like swallowing needles, allowing them to go straight to his cracking heart. It’s almost impossible now, huh, to get you back? Even when you’re single again, it still feels impossible. Why is he even imagining it?

Shaking his head, he successfully parked his car, clapping his hands as he looked at Yui through the rearview mirror. “Let’s go now, my heart~” He sing-songed and the toddler eagerly reached up to him. “Tomorrow we go back to Mama, alright? She’s kinda sad, isn’t she? We gotta rescue that!” Yui cheered with him, despite not understanding what her father was saying.

Satoru knows that he can’t meddle with your relationship with Toji, no matter how much it bothers him. The least he can do is try to brighten your mood. Without any ulterior motives, of course. This is a vulnerable time for you. He doesn’t think he can stomach trying to get in through those cracks in your heart because of your failed relationship. 

It’s not the right thing to do and that’s not what a good person who truly cares would do. He can only support you, but he doesn’t plan on taking advantage of this situation. 

—-------------------------------------------------

3 months later

It’s a blessing to be a mother. It’s hard too. Especially, when your daughter won’t allow you to have a break from your ex for more than three months. “Mama!” She screamed at the top of her lungs for the hundredth time that morning. “I just took your bag, let’s go.” You wished you could’ve taken a picture of her, standing as she held the door of her room open.

“You’re so big now, baby.” Her birthday’s in a few months and you feel like crying because it felt like you just gave birth to her yesterday and now she’s turning three. Time is a thief. You wonder if so much has changed with Toji’s life too. You wouldn’t be shocked if he’s got a new girlfriend. After all, Satoru only took a few weeks to find someone new when you broke up.

That fucking stings. You told yourself and if you weren’t holding your daughter’s hand and her bag you would physically clutch your chest. The thought of being so replaceable has been a constant in your mind since Satoru and Naomi. 

And if it happens with Toji again, you’d probably just close the table for love.  You drove to the park, a meeting place you chose for the kids. You don’t want to be in Toji’s house. You don’t think you can handle that yet. 

You wondered if you’d be greeted by some new lady with him, like how Satoru received you with Naomi’s head on his chest. What if they play with the kids instead and leave you out of place during the whole play date? Or what if they leave you to watch the kids while they get some snacks, taking their time to play couple while you wait?

What if— A knock on your window broke off your train of thoughts as you took in your surroundings. That’s right. You’ve been driving and now you’re at the part. And now Toji’s shading his eyes, his hand arched over his brows as he tried to see through your windows. “Gumi!” Yui squealed, kicking in her car seat as Megumi waved from the outside. 

Toji was holding him in one hand as his bag hang loosely on Toji’s shoulder. You rolled the windows down, gulping your anxiety as you thanked the heavens that none of the scenarios in your head came true. 

“You spaced out.” He chuckled a bit awkwardly as he smiled at you. There’s something new about him. Did he really glow up after leaving you? You almost frowned but you gave him a laugh, trying to think of an excuse as to why you’re sitting absentmindedly in your car a few minutes before meeting with your ex and his child.

“I was trying to remember if I locked our door.” You laughed, gathering your things as you stepped out. “Can I hold that for you?” Toji offered as you opened Yui’s door. You thanked him softly, trying your best to seem relaxed. You don’t know if you should be glad or worried that he’s being so cool.

It could be because he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or because he doesn’t really give two shits about your relationship with him that he doesn’t even feel uneasy meeting for the first time after you broke up. 

Or maybe because he’s already moved on to someone else, he just didn’t bring her with him because he’s a respectful man. You swore you heard a voice say it and it almost convinced you that it’s your brain that wants you dead. “Yui.” Megumi’s neck stretched as he looked over your shoulder for his best friend.

“Chill, man. Your long lost bestie will be free in a minute.” He still doesn’t fail to make you laugh. You put Yui down and watched the two kids adorably and messily hug. Now you’re glad that you taught them the importance of hugs. 

“It’s cute that they’re still comfortable with each other.” You commented, pulling at your clothes as you tried to distract yourself from checking your ex out. You’re thinking hard to figure out what changed with his look. Aside from his forehead showing as the wind played with his dark hair, 

“Let’s sit there, near the seesaw. They love that.” The kids were talking in a language only they understand, pointing at stuff before laughing as if it was the funniest thing they saw while to you, it looked like nothing. You would give everything to be a kid again. Just carefree and happy. But seeing your daughter makes you realize you wouldn’t have this any other way.

“How have you been?” He started as you sat down, hugging yourself as you looked ahead at the children. To be honest, you don’t know how to answer that. Do you tell him first that you miss him? Or do you tell him first that you got a clearer understanding of the holes in your relationship with him?

“I won’t deny that I missed you.” He chuckled leaning back. “But I did some reflecting.” He paused, glancing over to you, eyes traveling across your face. “A lot of reflecting actually.” He nodded, licking his lips. Right. That’s right, you thought, referring to his looks. Aside from his hair being longer, he looked…softer. You blinked away your thoughts, clearing your vision.

“I…I’m okay.” You don’t know how to tell him it could’ve been better if he was still with you. You wondered if your relationship problems would’ve been gone now if you didn’t break up. Would it have been better by now if you kept going? “I missed you, of course. But,” You laughed airily, “I’m getting better.”

You didn’t let your breakup with Toji affect you as a mother to Yui. But if you’re talking about yourself. You’re still trying. You have lived without Toji, of course, you can still keep going now. But your split felt like a crash from cloud nine. You’ve been so soaked with your happiness with him that when he left it felt like you were slowly getting drained and dry.

He walked you into a field of roses and when you returned to your old garden you realized how dull it was. Yui was your sunshine in those days under the dark clouds. She was a sunlight that went out of its way to bring a smile on your face. “It’ll get better.” You sighed, glancing at Toji and seeing the solemn look on his face. Does he feel sorry for you? Does he feel guilty for leaving so abruptly as your baby daddy did? Does he feel—

“It doesn’t feel any better for me at all.” Toji’s not one to hide the reality of his feelings from people he feels comfortable with. It melts your heart when you think about how he loosens up with you. It makes you feel special. Though, not special enough to fight for.

“It will. Soon.” You looked down. You know that it wasn’t his intention to make you feel as if you’re making him feel guilty for choosing his peace. But it still feels like it and you don’t know what to say anymore. I’m sorry? I’m sorry that you feel sorry for me? He nodded, smiling so softly. Charming, you thought. You feel sad for the people who don't get to see this. Yes, his smirk can make one feel things but this smile…

The day went by fast, Toji invited you to dinner since a restaurant was nearby but you politely declined. It’s not that you want to. It’s just that you have to. One thing that you learned from your heartbreak with Satoru is that the more that you see them, the deeper the shards cut. 

“My mom’s coming over for dinner. Maybe next time.” Your genuine smile contradicted the lie flowing out of your lips. It was so tempting when he looked like this, but you have to stand your ground. Next time. The two words reverberated inside Toji’s head and that was enough to push aside the disappointment he felt when you declined. 

“That’s alright. There’s always a next time.” It sounded as if he was reassuring himself, emphasizing that you’re fine with meeting him and Megumi again next time. This is enough for now. After all, he still has to reflect on a couple of things regarding your breakup. But everything always seems to be pointing him back to you. 

—————————

“Just call me when you’re ready to go, and I’ll pick you up.” Satoru’s words before he left you and Yui earlier started to get twisted inside Toji’s head. Now that Toji has let you go, Satoru’s just waiting for your go signal so he can pick you up again. He swallowed dryly, faking a smile when you looked back at him, laughing at whatever the kids did that he didn’t see.

Time flew by fast but that image of you leaning towards Satoru so that he could give his daughter a kiss as he said that to you has been stuck in Toji’s head all day. The kids were drinking juice with small towels around their shoulders. “I can, uh, I can just drive you home, you know? I mean, so that Satoru wouldn’t have to drive all the way here again.” He suggested, wiping off some of the water droplets in his son’s body.

“It’s alright, he’s already on his way anyway and he owes Yui a kitty cake that they didn’t get to buy last time.” You smiled at him, before asking to leave to give Yui a quick warm shower. Toji would’ve wanted to chat a bit more with you. Just spend more time with you. He couldn’t ask for so much of it now. It felt like it would be too much of an imposition for him to do so. 

After a couple of minutes, the doorbell rang and he placed Megumi on one of the rugs, reminding him to stay there so he won’t slip. He sighed, running to his gate, knowing that it would be Satoru and of course, since you’re still getting Yui ready, the polite thing to do is to let him sit and maybe, entertain your baby daddy a bit.

“Oh, come on in. She’s just getting Yui ready.” His voice was almost monotonous, the nod of his head was another way to be a bit more ‘friendly’ to the guy. “You a fan of iced tea?” Toji cleared his throat with Satoru following behind him. Megumi was still on the rug, staring off into space. Toji can’t help but laugh when Satoru waved a hand at his face.

“Yui Dad.” He looked up, waving his small hand despite the blank look on his face. “He really looks like you.” Satoru commented, “Except his hair.” Toji placed a pitcher on the counter, pouring a glass for the man, something he didn’t think he would ever do. “I’m glad you and Y/N are doing better,” Toji spoke after a couple of minutes of silence. 

“Yeah,” Satoru nodded, holding Megumi’s hand as he tried to walk towards Toji. “We’re getting more used to this co-parenting thing. Figured out it was healthier for all of us when we’re not constantly arguing about something.” Toji doesn’t know if it’s right to say it but it already came out of his mouth before he realized it.

“The both of you single made it better, eh?” He didn’t mean it to start something with Satoru again, it’s just that that is the first thing that popped up in his head when he heard him. “Yes and No.” Satoru answered before he could even back it up with something lighthearted. “Me being single, yes. Because Naomi was basically a wedge, one cause of the problems that used to arise between us. And no, because no problem arises directly from you regarding those arguments.” He shrugged, taking a sip before continuing. 

“Actually, I don’t even know why you broke up with her, if I’m going to be frank I trusted you with my family already, why did you even left her?” He’s saying a lot more now than before. Definitely a healthier man. And he seems like he’s back to his real self now. Toji might even assume he’s drunk if only you didn’t mention that he doesn’t handle liquor well.

“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, alright? I want you to love her because you truly love her, but come on, man, there’s no threat.” Yui definitely takes after her father. Very talkative, Toji thought. Inhaling, he gathered his thoughts and which aspect of what Satoru has said he should focus on, “I don’t know.” Was his short answer. 

“I mean… I was worried. I don’t know if she’s really over you. I don’t want her to keep hurting by my side.” It was quiet. Satoru didn’t speak, allowing Toji to continue. “Plus, I fear that she will forever feel like she just comes second to my wife. To be honest, I feel that with her too. With you being her first.” Toji felt surprised at his honesty. He just hopes that you won’t overhear this.

“You’re the present. I’m her past.” It felt bitter for Satoru to say, “I’m starting to accept that now. I’m just contented that I can be with my daughter and that I take care of them even from the sidelines.” 

But Satoru would forever wish it didn't have to be like that. 

“I’m not playing matchmaker. I just want what’s best for her. Even if it’s not me, Toji.” He stood up, sighing as he heard footsteps coming closer. You came in struggling to carry a barefoot, laughing little girl, a towel and her bag. “Dada!” She screamed with a smile as she tries to get away from you. “You’ll slip!” You warned her and Satoru quickly went closer to take her in his arms. 

Toji sat there for a minute more, processing the man’s words. The best for you. If he’s going to ask Satoru about it, he’d say that if he has to pick someone for Y/N, Toji will be a top candidate. Aside from the fact that he’s a good man who truly cares for her, he also easily understands your situation because he has a child of his own too.

It’s safe to say that right now, you’re the only man that Satoru feels is safe to leave his daughter and baby momma with. His past mistakes and horrible decisions put him in this place and the least that he could do to make it all up to you is support you and whatever makes you happy as long as it’s good for you and his child.

“We’ll be going now, thank you, Toji.” Only then has Toji realize that he’s been staring at the three of you now and his baby boy who’s trying to hug Yui as her father puts on her shoes. “Uh, yeah. Let me walk you guys out.” He licked his lips, blinking fast as he tried to snap himself back to reality. “Come on, Megs. After this, you take a bath, alright?” He picked him up, wrapping a towel around his body.

“Come again. Please.” Satoru laughed as the little boy waved, probably worried that it would take months for his little friend to come over again. “She’ll be back soon, bro. Chill.” That’s wild, Toji thought, He just called my son ‘bro’. Before you could even get on the other side of the car, Toji has made up his mind. “Uhm, Y/N.” You looked up at him, for some reason, eyes shining with what seemed to be…hope.

“Can we come over sometime?” Megumi’s little cheer made your smile wider, nodding at them, “Of course..” You felt like a teen, worried that you answered too quickly, “Anything for that ‘gumi smile.” You played it off cool but kept your eyes on Toji the whole time. 

You didn’t hear anything about what he and Satoru talked about. But it was nice to know that they’re starting to get along. Inside, Satoru was fixing his daughter’s things, somehow glad that he couldn’t hear whatever the of two of you were talking about because no matter how happy he is for you, he’d always break into smaller pieces each time he saw you smile and look at Toji like that.

He knows. Because you used to look at him like that. 

Albeit, crossed with pain and longing, you used to look at him with so much love. Overflowing. And then, along with the tears he caused. It felt like acid in his stomach, threatening to spill out of his mouth whenever he thought of what you went through because of him. But now you’re happy. 

He didn’t know that love would show him that some people are worth being pulverized for.  

The car door opened just as he pretended to find something inside the glove compartment and he swallowed the pang in his chest at the glow on your face. “Gumi, babye! Gumi, babye!” His child screams behind him, waving her hands back at her playmate. “You ready to go?” He asked you and you hummed, glee evident even in the small sound. 

With that, the two of you waved at Toji and Megumi, pulling out of their driveway. You smiled at the shared nods between Toji and Satoru before speeding down the road to the bakery where Satoru usually buy Yui’s cakes. Your mind kept going back to Toji. Maybe you’re being delusional but you can’t help but feel like he had to gather the courage to ask you that very last-minute question. 

He feels like a…high school crush. 

And maybe he’s being a high school crush because a week later, he shows up at your doorstep dressed like a heartthrob with a kid in oversized sunglasses and a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

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[die-pink-maus]

A Weekend in Vienna 🇦🇹

While vacationing in Germany, Chantelle’s (OC) best friend, Adrian (also an OC), books an impromptu trip to Vienna to visit extended family. Chantelle decides to join her for the last few days of her trip, where she meets an interesting friend of Adrian’s family who offers to show the two around the city for the weekend🤭

TW: Pretty much none, not for this chapter anyway, but things will get 🌶️spicy🌶️ in the next parts. Also there is an age gap between OC and König, she is 25 and he is about 36-37.

CW: FemOCs, female pronouns used, while both characters are technically OCs please feel free to imagine them however you’d like, ultimately the main character is the reader, I just didn’t want to use “Y/N” so I gave them names 🙈

Word Count: 1,516

*DISCLAIMER*

This is my first time EVER writing any kind of fan fiction so please go easy on me 😭 if you like where things are going, likes and reblogs would be greatly appreciated! If you’d like to see anything in particular in the next part or part(s), I’d love to hear it!

This version of König is based on the above interpretation drawn by @lettaniko (I hope you don’t mind me using it! I absolutely love this drawing it’s perfect! 🫶🏼)

I like a nice build up to the smut so if you like to get right into it this is probably not going to be for you…but if you can wait I it out I promise it’ll be worth it 😂

Enjoy! 💋

7:30am. There’s approximately 30 minutes before my train departs for Vienna, and I still haven’t reached the train station yet. I scrambled as I dashed out of my hotel room, hoping I’d left the place in a somewhat decent state and I hadn’t forgotten anything valuable as got into the elevator. I’ve been exploring Munich for the past two weeks and I’ve been having the absolute time of my life. Although traveling alone can be quite scary, oddly enough, I’ve never felt more at home. Munich is such a vibrant city, filled with all kinds of exciting things to do and I’ve met so many incredible people, it’s definitely been the experience of a lifetime. To say that I am not looking forward to going back home to Vancouver would be an understatement, but all good things must come to an end. I’d spent about a year and a half learning to speak German, and promised myself that I would plan a trip in celebration of achieving fluency, so here I am! Now, Vienna wasn’t initially on my list of places to visit when I decided to come to Germany, but my best friend, Adrian, ended up booking a spur of the moment flight last week to visit extended family in Austria and suggested I come hangout with her during the last few days of my trip. Seeing as its only a 3-4hr train ride from Munich, I figured why the hell not! I’ve heard Vienna is beautiful, and Im at all not opposed to exploring another city.

Upon arrival at the train station in Vienna I was greeted by Arian, excitedly jumping up and down while holding up a large white sign that read “Willkommen in Wien, Schlampe!” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, laughing as I got off the train and ran over to her, tackling her in a tight embrace as she laughed hysterically. “Did you have to let the whole station know that I’m a bitch or…?”

“Honestly, they should’ve known the moment they saw you.” She said jokingly. “How was the ride over?” She asked.

“Amazing, I haven’t slept that well in years. It also didn’t feel like a 4 hour train ride.”

“Trains in out here are quite quick so I wouldn’t be surprised if it somehow took less time. They definitely shit on the ones we have back home.”

“Oh for sure.” I agreed as we began walking over to the car.

“So a family friend of ours just came back from a mission in the states, he’s in the military bee tee dubs —“

“Yeah kinda pieced that together when you said ‘mission’.” I chuckled.

“I don’t drive out here so he’s gonna give us a ride back to my aunts, cool?”

“Sounds good.”

“He’s also a lot more familiar with Vienna than I am, so he offered to show us around a bit later on this evening.” Aw how nice of him. Knowing Adrian, the first place she’ll want to be taken to is the nearest bar, that girl can drink! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my time in Germany, and my 10 years of friendship with Adrian, it’s that Europeans love their liquor. There are people from all parts of Europe in Germany and that’s one thing that remains quite consistent across the board. I also love my liquor, which is probably why I ended up fitting in so well.

We finally arrived at the car and opened the trunk to begin loading all of my luggage inside. I’d brought a small carryon suitcase, a duffle bag, as well as a large suitcase that was full of clothes I’d over packed from home, and a bunch of other clothes and souvenirs I’d bought in Munich. “Okay this one’s gonna be a tad heavy.” I warned as Adrian grabbed hold of the handle on the top. I reached forward to try to help her lift, but neither of us could manage the weight. “I got it.” His voice was low, but gentle. He had an accent, but it wasn’t overwhelming or harsh, nor did it make anything he said hard to understand. I wasn’t expecting to see the person I saw when I’d finally caught a glimpse of him…I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man like this in my entire life. Adrian and I stepped back as he grabbed hold of the suitcase, lifting it with absolute ease, as if it were light as a feather. His arm muscles bulged within the confines of his olive green long sleeved shirt as he tossed the suitcase inside the trunk. My heart began to race, It felt as if I was watching him move in slow motion. “Easy peasy.” He smirked as he turned around and looked down at me, his dazzling dark blue eyes awash with amusement at Adrian and I’s prior struggle. Jesus Christ…This man is an absolute unit. He’s gotta be at least 6 foot 7, if not taller. He’s incredibly easy on the eyes in a rough and rugged kinda way — a nice low trimmed beard, medium length dark brown hair, and a smile that is captivatingly dangerous to say the least. His presence alone exudes a confidence that causes me to grow weak in the knees. “I’m König,” he smiled knowingly as he stretched his hand out towards me. I know I’m definitely not the first woman to look at him the way I am. Even though I’m trying to keep my composure, it’s very clear that he can see right through it. “And you must be Chantelle?” He asked, eyes slowly roaming about my frame from head to toe. He bites his lip slightly as they return to my gaze, suggesting so much without saying any words at all. “I — yes.” I blushed, sheepishly brushing my hair behind my ear as I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.” He said. “Oh yeah, König Chantelle, Chantelle König.” Adrian yelled from the backseat. He laughed and shook his head as he closed the trunk.

We arrived at Adrian’s aunts house about 45 minutes later. König helped us load all of my things into the foyer before letting us know he’d be coming back in a few hours to take us out to this bar that he and a few of his buddies on his task force frequent whenever they’re home. I’ve been thinking about him ever since he left — those mysterious blue eyes, the way he slightly bites his lower lip just before laughing at something ridiculous Adrian has said, the way his arm muscles swell beneath his shirt with the slightest movement…God, he’s sexy. I could think of a million different ways I’d want him to ruin me. The thought alone of being trapped beneath his large brawny frame writhing in pleasure as he thrusts into me over and over has me clenching around nothing. Though I’m not usually one for a one time fling, I have a feeling he’d be able to convince me. “So, you wanna tell me what all of that was about?” Adrian asked as she helped me settle into the guest room. “What are you talking about?” I asked. “Since when are you a shy girl?” She giggled. Sigh. I figured she was referencing my unusual silence during the car ride over here. “He’s hot as fuck but I’ve never seen you like that before.”

“Ugh!” I groaned as I covered my face with a pillow. She’s right. I’m not very easily intimidated. I’m quite the confident woman and I ensure everyone in the room knows it, but this was different. Almost as if our energies were fighting for dominance, and mine didn’t stand a chance. “Hey if it’s any consolation, my jaw dropped the first time I saw him without his mask too.” Mask?

“Mask?” I asked.

“Yes…the last time I was here he was on base training recruits, so I’d see him often in full tactical gear. He’s a snipper, so he wears a mask to hide his face in the field. I mean, that was hot too, but in a Ghostface kinda way”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the comparison, but I was curious to see what his entire ensemble looked like. “How old is he?” I asked.

“I think he’s in his mid to late 30s? I’m honestly not too sure, and it doesn’t matter to me either way.” She winked. “I was sensing some unspoken vibes between the two of you in the car though. Don’t think I didn’t see both of you stealing glances at each other every now and then.” She smirked.

“Stop,” I scoffed. “A man like that is definitely not single, and even if he is…I don’t know” I blushed. “I didn’t see him looking at me..”

“K well I see everything, he definitely likes what he sees, and clearly the feeling is mutual on your end as well. Looks like tonight will be interesting.”

“Nothing’s gonna happen, Adrian.” I laughed as I rolled my eyes. Nothing’s gonna happen…right?

PART II 👉🏽 A Weekend In Vienna 🇦🇹: PART II

PART III 👉🏽 A Weekend In Vienna 🇦🇹: PART III

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Stephhh,

Im looking for some good post s4 fix-its, friends to lovers. Preferably smutty obvs, and under 50k (if its reeeeeeaallyy good but long ill read it but its gotta be like an 11/10)

I believe in you 🙏 thank you in advance lol

Hi Lovely!!

I've a lot of Post-S4 fics, and if I can say so, I think all of the fics on my lists are fantastic and MORE than 11/10's, but subjective, hahah.

I'm also needing a list for the weekend, so I'm using your ask as the one I'm posting the next part for, so I HOPE some of these appeal to you, as well as the fics on the additional lists!! I put word counts next to all my fics which should help you out!

And if y'all have S4 fics to suggest, please do, as usual! I've another part I'm compiling of MFL fics, so I will add them to that as well! Enjoy!

POST-S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 5

See also:

TFP Is Canon

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 2

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 3

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 4

S4 Rewrites

S3 / TAB / S4 [FIX IT] Fics (March 2019)

Post S4 and Mental Health

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4,  5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

fulfilling for other people by missselene (E, 3,957 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, Unhappy Fic, Unrequited Love Confession, Virgin Sherlock) – When Sherlock decides to act on John’s advice regarding romantic entanglements, the results are far from what John expected. Part 1 of fulfilling for other people

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Winter’s Storm by LoloLolly (M, 51,812 w., 11 Ch. || Canon Compliant Through TFP/S4 Is Canon, Alternating POV,  Established / New Relationship, Parentlock with Rosie, Explicit Torture, Mentions of Sherlock’s PTSD, Mentions of Human Trafficking, References to Child Abuse, Violence, Kidnapping, Captivity, Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff, Case Fic, BAMF / Soldier John, Sherlock Whump, Mycroft and John Work Together, Marriage Proposal, Autistic Sherlock, Lestrade Finds Out, Polyglot Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia) – Sherlock had buried the past. Shut Serbia away in the attic of his mind palace. Muddy footprints at a heinous crime scene, however, have led him right back to old enemies. And right back to captivity. For God’s sake, Mycroft. Part 2 of the Earthly Pomp (Is But a Dream) series

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Swallow the Night by ArwaMachine (E, 87,873 w., 15 Ch. || TSo3/Stag Night Fix It, TAB/S4 Divergence, Toplock, Mutual Pining, PWP, Drunk / Public Sex, Anal Fingering/Sex, Alcohol-Induced Amnesia, Everyone Knows Except Them, Emotional Love Confession, Demisexual Sherlock, Internalized Homophobia [John], Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Drug Relapse, Infidelity, Texting, Masturbation, Oblivious John, Emotional Love Making, Angst with Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares) – “Do you know how long,” John panted, his cheek scraping against the wall, looking back at Sherlock through half-closed eyes, “I’ve wanted this?” Sherlock pressed himself against John’s back, biting at John’s ear. “Not nearly as long as I have,” he whispered.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (E, 109,272 w., 60 Ch. || S4 Compliant to TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock’s Italian Adventure, Sherlock/OC and Johnlock, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Idiots in Love, 3 Part Story, Slow Burn, Inexperienced Sherlock, Bottom Sherlock, Introspection, Multiple Alternating First and Third Person POV, Separation and Reconciliation, Emotional Love Making, Love Confessions via Letters, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.  Part 1 of the Drawn to Stars series

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) –Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

[crushedsweets]

Any Jeff hcs?? (Your art is absolutely amazing)

i make him evil. ok jk but also im serious. im mostly just gonna cover his backstory in my au, rather than his current part in it.

cw for brief mentions of animal abuse, bullying, the usual. AGAIN THIS IS FOR MY AU !! also tysm :3..

liu is about 4-6 years older than jeff. they lived somewhere in the midwest until jeff was about 10.

they were both raised by incredibly good parents and had a very strong support system, always visiting their grandparents, big christmas every year, parents always go to open house/parent-teacher conferences, etc. tried getting their kids into sports, would go to every game, literally just the stereotypical great parent. not even a secret "ooo behind closed doors they r actually abusive...!" thing theyre literally just good.

jeff was always a bit more on the aggressive side, something they especially noticed when he was 5 and could not be left alone with a single fucking pet. he'd yank at and shake anything small enough to pick up, and punch and kick anything too big to pick up. every family pet was scared of him.

even at school, he was a bully - it started as typical grade school shit, putting gum in girls hairs, stealing peoples belongings, pushing kids off the play structures. he targeted girls especially. he's been warned, suspended, expelled - but his dad got a job offer in the east coast that they couldnt really ignore

he was 12 when he started harassing a girl, following her around the playground, calling her a slut, yanking her hair, spitting on her, etc - and eventually, her brother and his friends stepped in.

thiiis is where i wanted to put randy and his friends in. theyre older kids, around 14 and still more on the mean side, but they didn't just randomly target jeff for fun bc he's "the new kid". just like jeff harassed that girl, they began harassing him - but of course with the strength of 3 teenage boys, rather than an 12 yr old. liu would interfere when he could, but he was still a student and began working his first job by this point.

jeff got into physical fights with them for weeks, but he was quick to turn it into something bloody and brought a pocket knife. this time the fight occurred in front of jeffs house, when his parents were at work, and liu ended up running out to make them cut it out. he tried to grab the knife out of jeffs hands, he tried to stop his brother, but jeff was serious about what he wanted - and he wanted to fucking stab randy

so he did, right in the stomach. it was nothing fatal.

liu took the fall, being 16 and terrified of what could happen to jeff if he landed himself in juvenile hall - the other 3 boys were content with this, knowing it meant jeff really didn't have anyone to defend him by this point. thinking it would fuck with jeff even more . . BUT JEFFS A LITTLE SHIT he doesnt fucking careee . something about "i never asked him to take the blame that shits on him" or whatnot.

but obv once randy recovered fully it got worse. it went from schoolyard level harassment to borderline stalking, robbing him, holding him down so randy could fucking stomp on him, so on and so forth.

and eventually the bleach happened, and the fire happened, and it didn't really have anything special or involve a birthday party or whatever . it was just another insane fucking attack on jeff, although randy and them didn't exactly expect the fire to spread so fucking quickly - they just splashed some gas at his feet, threw a match, though it would scare him and maybe fuck up his pants. really did NOT think that shit through

jeff recovered in the hospital, and the trio decided to leave him alone. they were little shits who took it too far, but they werent trying to do all that. jeff didnt snitch, he didnt want them to get put away . he wanted to keep going, obviously

things settled down for a while. jeff was waiting and waiting and waiting. his parents were mortified, they rarely spoke to him now. required family dinners at the dining table turned to just his parents eating together, liu in juvie and jeff in his room. jeff began getting violent towards his parents as well, especially his mom - he started spiraling after the fire, especially since the trio weren't bothering him anymore and it was driving him nuts. he would do freaky shit, showing up at their houses now, shattering their windows, killing their pets. they'd come and beat his ass, and he'd do it again. nobody wanted to get their parents involved by this point, they all did too much shit - but jeff was getting UNBEARABLE

jeff eventually was around 15 or so, liu was out of juvie and 19 and in community college bc he couldnt get into any of the universities he was dreaming about.

liu wasnt nice to jeff anymore. he wasn't "hardened" by his experience in juvie or anything, but whatever he saw in jeff was NOT his little brother anymore - if jeff spoke to him, he'd ignore him. if jeff got too close, he'd shove him off. if jeff slapped their mother, liu would punch him.

liu thinks it was bound to happen. he misses his little brother, even when he was a mean little kid - but he always knew there was something realy, really fucking wrong with jeff, and when he woke up to jeff on top of him, stabbing into him , he knew it was inevitable.

liu survived, the only one in his family to do so. he wondered what he could've done to stop it, especially as other kids began showing up in the news. he wonders if he shouldve just let jeff go to juvie. he's kinda shocked at the fucked up ass police sketches that pop up, he didn't really remember seeing that damn smile when jeff was on him

jeff continues fucking shit up and is a piece of shit all around

this is already pretty long so if anyone wants a less "backstory" version of headcanons and more current stuff just lmk ;3

[med-ex]

feelin rlly idk HAPPY?? over this franchise as a whole✨

I wasn't even alive for Fallout 1 & 2 - but upon entering the world 3 years after they were released, would grow up hearing its name constantly... never did i think it would take GTA's place as my favourite video game series. Like literally never thought the weird little isometric game talked about by my older cousins would be the one.

I played Fallout 3 at the worst period of my life- it became a pure escape from graduating high school, becoming a severe alcoholic and moving off my mountain into my province's capital city. I was in love with it to the point that when I came home to my family home to visit, I would haul my xbox 360 in my backpack and strap my little tv to my back with a rope- ✨that's✨ how addicted I was to it.

It resonated with me in a way no other game series has. No, I obviously didn't grow up in the same standards as the wastes, but could resonate with foraging for food, no clean water & mess, destruction and despair everywhere you turned.

Fast forward a year or so, and I try Fallout: New Vegas. This is where it finally became my favorite series ever. I could list all the reasons, but they're similar to what you'll see all over the net; it's just amazing. I already was all "fuck the government" since I was a child but it made me think- think about the rule of authority, think about perseverance, weigh out what "right" and "wrong" truly means and the blurred line between the two.

By the time I was 21, I tried Fallout 4. It took some getting used to in the terms of its modern graphics, but I really loved how I got to experience conversations that felt like I was actually having them. I loved building the world back up and when I was brave enough to try mods- then shit got real interesting. I was already obsessed with Fallout 3 & NV but we can thank Fallout 4 for getting me into the community as a whole.

I was one of the ones to make fun of FO76- the launch was a huge part of that, but I just didn't understand how it could ever truly fit into the Fallout series. I played it for the first time when I was 2022, and now after 2 years I wholeheartedly regret shitting on it so hard. There are so many cool quests/stories and though some of them are silly seeing as it's online-based and they need to cater to that and though it's a bit strange at first, it feels so cool to be around other players adventuring the wastes + actually having to persist to build your own base, feed yourself and survive- as console commands don't exist in the same realm they used to with the earlier titles.

Now, we arrive at the airing of the first Fallout television show. I seriously thought it was gonna be shit- I just couldn't imagine them being able to do a good job but as we can see, here we are. The show is amazing and I didn't even know it was something I wanted so badly. The only real-life renditions of Fallout I've seen is that one live action trailer for 76 + cosplay- so seeing it in film, is seriously so fucking cool.

Idk guess im just gettin a little ✨sentimental✨ towards a series that has given me so many lessons, so much ability to cope with my own shit + gotten me into such a fun community filled with funny jokes, amazing art, discussions and rich lore that maybe one day could leave the video game + TV screen and become even a book.

Ty to the crew of original artists who started this back in the 90s, and thank you to the crew of artists at Bethesda in this current century who kept this game going💖

[lemon-koii]

❛ ،其 ::Twisted wonderland family hcs

My headcanons and thoughts on what the twst cast's family is like

●°●°●°●

Pt 2(Savanahclaw), Pt 3(Octavinelle & Scarabia), Pt 4(Pomefiore & Ignihyde), Pt 5(Diasomnia)

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒖𝒍

𝑅𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

His parents are divorced sa thats why they dont get along well. His mother got full custody of him while his dad only got 2 hour visits every saturday

He has an little sister named who is a year younger than him. He doesnt know that he has a younger sister since his parents never told him and they got divorced after his sister was born a few months. Plus she lives with their father. She doesnt know about it too

His mother had him when she was 25 years old and his father was 27 years old

When he was a child he had mixed feelings about his father visiting him every once a week. His father is a "good" man. He's much more calm, less controlling and always have a pleasant smile on his face. But whenever he visits, it doesnt go Riddle's way of spending time with his father but, his mother and father arguing and screaming for 2 hours straight. Sometimes, his father only stays for 45 minutes or an hour

Now that his older, there's still a tiny hope in him to talk to his father. But he's scared since he was never close to him and if he tells his mother about the call

He once saw a picture of a baby with pure white hair in his mothers drawer and she got really mad and screamed at him so he never bought up the topic ever again. Although, he still wonders about it

𝑇𝑟𝑒𝑦 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟

He has 3 younger brothers a 1 younger sister. The first 2 are twins who are 4 years younger than him, the 3rd brother is 5 years younger and his sister is 7 years younger

Trey and his sister are the only ones in the family with magic. He got his UM at 12 years old and his sister got hers at 10 years old

His parents got married when they were 20 and meet eachother in their teens. Had Trey at the age of 28

His father is quite a care free and easy going but strict when needed type of dad.

After when Riddles mom went to their bakery shop to confront the parents, Trey's dad didnt got mad at him but told him to always stay in line and never stand out so that no trouble would get in his way again

The bakery have been past down frim the mothers side from Trey's great-grandmother, reasoning its popularity

The last name "Clover" came from his mother since she never changed her last name when she got married since she wanted to keep her family name

In general, the Clovers are a pretty normal family(except for Trey im sorry) so there not much to say about them

𝐶𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐷𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑑

(We already know that he has two sisters and his father is a banker. As far as i know, he hasn't mentioned anything about his mother)

His mother used to be a model before she gave birth to his older sister. Now that she's jobless and finacially dependant on her husband. Which is spending them on clothes, products, alcohols, make up, designers and other things

Both his sisters go to a rich ass private school(NRC is better than theirs) that focuses more on sports

His sisters are slightly jealous that Cater has magic. Although they never really did anything about it except dumping their chores on him and telling him to use his UM to complete it all

His sisters always calls him, asking him how school is then proceds to ask about Vil. So does his mother

His father is a cold, patient, no-nonsence and well mannered type of person, although he's rarely home. If he is, he's either working on his office or sleeping. So Cater rarely spends time with him

There are 6 animals in their household since each of them have their own pets

Cater has 2 ferrets, named Cizy and Yena

His mother has a pomeranian, both his sisters have a British shorthair cat and his fathers has a Gecko

𝐷𝑒𝑢𝑐𝑒 𝑆𝑝𝑎𝑑𝑒

Since he was raised by his mom alone, im taking it that she gave birth to him when she was 18 years old from a night with her boyfriend(Deuces dad)

Both his parents used to be in gangs. His father was well respected and known in the delinquent community while his mother wasnt that much known but was still respected

They quited when they found out that they will be having a child(Deuce)

His father died before Deuce was born due to old delinquent enemies wanting revenge as they thought that he had gotten weak from his new domestic life

His fathers death affected his mother so much that Deuce's grandmother was the one who took care of Deuce when he was only 4 months old

Even after this, his mom stayed strong for Deuce and doesnt want gim to follow her's or his fathers footsteps. Which failed(ifykyk)

His mom was always busy when he was a child to provide for the both of them, so she would always hire a babysitter and occationaly, call Deuce's grandmother. Even so, she would still try as much as she can to spend time with him

But due to Duece growing up not being always spending time with his moma and his absent father, it led him to his delinquent life

𝐴𝑐𝑒 𝑇𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑎

His family is suprisingly normal???

His mom is an accountant and his dad is a sea-man

While his brother is a profecional basketball player

His brother is 21 years old

Him and his brother are half siblings since his mother already had his older brother before she remarried and then Ace was born

Even if their only half related, they still treat eachother like real brother. His older bro would beat up anyone commenting anything bad about their family

His mom is a Filipina and his dad is british so Ace his half and while his brother is full Filipino

His mom is a loving and up to date with trends type of mom while his dad is...moody.

As much as Ace loves his dad, he cant help but feel his guard up whenever he's in the same room as him.

Ace doesnt like if to much good things happen to much since i gets his hopes up of having a good day but he knows that sooner or later that day that something bad will happen

Like, when he was joking and talking about basketball with his father. At first it was light hearted and jokes, then it turned to him getting lectured. Them as a family having a movie night turning into a silent fight between his parents.

Empty promises and him remembering peoples footsteps

Ace has trust issues due to this but doesnt show it. And he's good at acting about it too since no one ever noticed this

Ace and his cousins from his moms side get along really well unlike with his cousins from his dads side

He had a jejemon phase because of his brother and cousins. He would fake puke every time they mention anything about it

His mother was 27 when she met Ace's father who was 29 and his brother was 2 years old

Lived in the Philippines until he was 9 years old and they moved to the queendom of roses

●°●°●°●

Apologies if there are any typos since english isnt my first language

(▪︎Pretend that Philippines is an existing country in Twst)

[souryogurt64]

hi! im the anon who sent the ask about moving to chicago a few weeks ago and i have a few more questions lol

my parents really want me to have a car in case of emergencies but i don't want one, what's it like not having a car

also do you think minimum wage is enough to live off of with a roommate? ive seen a lot of varying opinions on the chicago subreddit

It is very easy not having a car. Only 1 time in 3 years have I even wanted to borrow my parents' car and it was to go to a concert. Both my previous and current roommate brought their car and then ended up returning it to their parents' house after a few months because there is nowhere to park it. If I want to visit family I take the Metra and then they pick me up. Most people I know also Amtrak.

As for money, when I first moved to Chicago I worked in restaurants which pays quite a bit higher than minimum wage. Being a hostess is very easy and usually pays at least $20 an hour. I mostly worked about 4-6ish hour shifts 4-5x a week bussing tables and probably averaged like $1800 a month from that. However, depending on unpaid time off or doing things like bartending for 10 days straight during Christmas pay could be as low as $1,200 or as high as $3,000 a month.

I also was working part-time in marketing for $10 an hour and did freelance projects. This brought in another $550ish a month on average, give or take. This was also extremely variable and could be as low as $300 or as high as $1500 a month.

My budget before I got an adult job from 2021-early2023 basically looked like this:

Rent and utilities $900

Train passes $20 (I walked to work and the animal shelter, I did not need a monthly pass)

Nonessential purchases (including dining out): $350

Savings: $350

Groceries/toiletries/cosmetics $250 (I got a lot of free food and beer from my job)

Cat supplies $50

Subscriptions (Photoshop for work, spotify, etc) $30

Random extra expenses (Ubers, household supplies): $100

Then I was on my parents' health insurance.

This came out to $2,050 a month.

I track everything in Excel so this is real, this is not an estimate.

If it ever didn't work out I would've moved back in with my parents and if I like got hit by a car or whatever they would've helped me out. So I don't want to give the impression I was ever like struggling. However, I did not want to rely on my parents financially and I was determined to make it work, so I did a lot of things like cut my own hair. To be honest, this was a really happy and carefree time in my life for the MOST part.

I also lived as below my means as I could (tbh several hundred dollars), because there were months where stuff happened like during a Covid surge in 2021 restaurants closed down and I made almost no money that month and had to start dogwalking in January.... which I was terrible at.

My strong recommendation would be to work in a restaurant (bc tips and free food) and not bring a car, and also have a parent co-sign a lease. A lot of landlords won't rent to you unless you make 3x the rent, and I didn't. I also recommend breweries-- I mostly worked at Corridor/DryHop and it was awesome.

Also I don't think this lifestyle would've been sustainable forever so make sure you're working towards something. I didn't want to get stuck in Iowa forever in a low paying miserable office job I hated so I was determined to move to the big city and wait for the perfect opportunity. I was lucky enough that it happened, but I think if I hadn't been lucky or was more complacent it would've been easy to like end up as an unhappy adult yk

[queen--of--shadows]

A Formidable Pair: Part 1

Azriel x Reader

Summary: As spymaster to the Spring Court, the Reader meets her unfriendly match from the Night Court as they work together to train, rebuild and repair Court relations. 

Warnings: none

Word Count: 865

Notes: hi friends im back 🥲 first and foremost thank you to the anon who requested this! I love your prompts and had so much fun writing a short intro to this new series! I apologize for the unexpected hiatus—I had already written this chapter once before then lost all of my work when my laptop crashed 🥲🥲 anyways I hope you all enjoy! I aim to get the next chapter out sometime this week 🖤

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

---------------------------

Sweat gathered and trickled down your neck as the thick, sweltering spring air weighed heavy with the creep of the afternoon sun. Winters in the Spring Court were enjoyable for the average female, a vacation spot even. But as a member of the Autumn Court, and despite your many years of serving the High Lord of Spring, you hated your posting here.

“Does that sound alright, Y/N?” Tamlin asked, his shoulder-length golden hair catching the light with a slight cock of his head.

“Yes, of course,” you replied, tilting your chin down, hands clasped tightly behind your back.

You had been trained for this since you could remember how to walk. Your parents, close friends of the Vanserra family, had recognized your talents from childhood and began lessons under the spymasters of the Autumn Court.

Bred for stealth, obedience, discipline, brutality, lethality.

You were unforgiving. Cold and distant. Like all good spymasters were.

Just like the Night Court spymaster, now standing at your side.

The High Lord of the Night Court’s lapdog.

Lucien had asked you weeks ago to serve as lead spy for a few months as they attempted to repair and rebuild not only physically, but also their relations with the other Courts and High Lords. You accepted, but not without letting Lucien know that he owed you big time. You hated being in the spotlight like this. And the deathly glare you snuck in before averting your gaze back to Tamlin served as a reminder to the handsome redhead, his mouth parted now in a wicked grin.

The past few months, you had been working as Spring Court emissary and spy, traveling to both the mortal lands and across Prythian to the other Courts on behalf of Tamlin to improve relations. Winter, Summer, Autumn, Day and Dawn.

But you hadn’t signed up to work alongside the Shadowsinger, his presence now like an oily stain to your left.

You had been avoiding the Night Court as long as possible. A war-mongering people, their long history of vicious brutality initially intrigued you, but their arrogance and ego, whether a front or not, were repulsive enough that you learned to stay away.

But the Winter Solstice Party was nearing, an invaluable opportunity to show that the People of Spring wanted peace. The trip up north became inevitable.

Rhysand and his spymaster had been visiting over the past week, traveling throughout the Court with Tamlin to learn how he had been rebuilding since Amarantha’s reign tore the entire southernmost lands of Prythian apart. You were praying to the Gods that he wouldn’t rope you into whatever political games he was playing. Still, to your dismay, Tamlin requested that you and the Shadowsinger train the new class of spies in the Spring Court over the next few days before heading north to attend the Solstice Party with Lucien.

If the shadows that nearly enveloped the tall male to your side were any indication of how he felt about being here, this next week would be absolutely miserable.

It wasn’t the bland mask hiding the killer underneath that bothered you. It wasn’t the shadows constantly whispering in his ears, nor was it his deadly, unrelenting gaze as he assessed you like a threat in your own Court. No, it was the haughty, pompous, self-important swagger, the fact that he hadn’t said more than two words to you since his arrival. You knew, just knew he considered himself a better spy than you.

That wouldn’t stand. No, that was going to change. You would shred his Illyrian pride to bits.

You kept your face neutral and didn’t let any emotions shine as you sketched a bow to your High Lord and made your way out to the training rings, sending a silent fuck you to Lucien, who still donned that wicked grin.

You heard the Shadowsinger muttering to Rhysand, likely receiving instructions from his High Lord about what information he wanted over the next week, before the violet-eyed male winnowed away. Then the near-silent footsteps trailing behind you.

He remained wordless as he followed, but his shadows indicated his presence, snaking along the floor lazily—a silent warning. You snorted.

“Is there a problem?”

You stopped in your tracks.

His words caught you off guard. Guttural and deep and dark, like the cold midnight sky given a voice.

You wiped any expression off your face, save for mild amusement, as you turned on your heel to face him.

“I’ve never met a spy that had to rely on anything other than their own wit and training,” you said sweetly. “Your…pets are interesting.” A dark, inky shadow circled you curiously, like a snake assessing its prey.

He pinned you with an icy, lethal stare—the mask of a trained killer, an Illyrian warrior.

A flicker of annoyance shone in his hazel eyes, glowing bright in the sunny rays streaming through the windows lining the halls of the manor.

He stalked quietly past you and out into the courtyard to the spies-in-training, his steps swift and precise.

Ice coated your veins at his dismissal.

You pushed against the rage threatening to lock up your limbs, following the winged asshole outside.

---------------------------

taglist: @cute-baby-ducks @brekkershadowsinger @iangelofmusic @j-pendragonx @foggypeanutmongeroaf @luckypersonmentality @eddiesbixch696 @davinaclaire16 @lexie1o9 @thewarriormoon @halfmeltedcandles @cartoonnerdgirl @wrensical003 @abigailrose98 @cafe-inaaa @moonlightazriel @caosfanblr @redbleedingrose @lovebookie123 @sarahstone217 @minetticatinwonderland @jtargs @bookish-dream @blurredlamplight @rellik181 @simplywitchy @his-sweet-nightmare @theravenphoenix26 @icantthinkofanythingplease @sebby-staan @brooke3132 @azriels-angels @mrs-azriel @sparklymiraclecheesecake @cityofidek @dreambeliever13 @atlascorriganlovescookies @fo-cus @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @elenas-safe-spot @dreambeliever13 @mysticalcheescakemiracle @marina468

[brooks-musichall]

Ello! You probably just made this account and I just found it randomly lol

Brook x Skeleton Dancer! Y/n? Idk I thought it would be cute tbh (maybe some cuddle head cannons if you don’t mind :) )

(gn reader and fluff plz and thanks :3 I’ll love to see your stories and head cannons in the future!’)

-Jilly Anon 🫧🦤

Heck yes. I did just kind of made this blog and I’ve been trying to write different ideas. I love your idea. I added a cuddle head canon towards the end if that’s alright. Story starts under read more.

The Cutest Performers

Brook x GN! Skeleton! Reader fluff

You had met The Straw Hats when they visited the bar you worked at. You worked as a server and a dancer. Some patrons were nice to you while others weren’t so nice. The reason why is that you are a walking talking Skeleton. You didn’t eat a Devil Fruit and it was some sort of necromancy. You were The Straw Hats Server that night and you really didn’t notice the other Skeleton at first. Until you brought them their drinks. You saw his hands first then your eyes made their way up his arms and met his eye sockets. You blush a light grey and ask if they are ready to order food. They order their food and you give the ticket to the cook.

Just then your boss told you that you were to do your dance performance in 5 minutes. You asked another server to serve your table and let the cook know.

The music starts playing and everyone looks at the stage. You start your dance and it’s your family friendly dance since it’s family night (Dance 1). Throughout your entire dance you kept making eye contact with the male Skeleton at your table.

After your shift the man in the straw hat asked you to join his pirate crew. When you asked why he said that they would like another performer and that another crew member would teach you how to fight.

~4 years later~

You and Brook started dating a year after you joined The Straw Hats. Nami and Zoro taught you how to fight. You helped Sanji with the cooking when he needed. You even helped Chopper when he needs help patching others up.

You and Brook do performances every other month, so that you two have time to practice. You two are inseparable and almost always seen together when neither of you are needed for something. You and Brook were relaxing in the library reading and enjoying the quiet. You were laying between his legs.

“Brook?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I know you said that it’s makes you sad when you talk about your life from when you were still alive. But what did you look like before you were a Skeleton?”

He sighs putting his book down. You move from your spot between his legs as he reaches for something in his jacket. It was a photo.

“This photo is of my previous crew. I’m still wearing the same clothes or at least similar clothes from that time. I even had glasses.”

You look at the photo and see him with his crew. You lay your head on Brooks shoulder.

“I think you were handsome when you were alive.”

He laughs

“And what about now?”

“Hmmm. Still handsome.”

“Do you have a picture of yourself from when you were alive?”

You pull out a picture of yourself while he puts his picture away. You hand the picture to him to look at. He looks at the picture for 5 minutes.

“It’s not the best picture, but it’s the only one I have.”

“You look stunning, Y/N. Even now as a Skeleton you look stunning.”

A grey blush appears on your face as Brook gives you the picture back.

“Thank you Brooke.”

You put your picture back in a pocket. Then you and Brook put your teeth together since neither of you have lips, so that’s the closest thing to a kiss.

“Im tired. Let’s go to bed, Y/N.”

You smile as you nod and you two head to your shared bed. You and Brook start spooning in bed. Brook wanted to be the small spoon. By the time it was breakfast the two of you were tangled and had to call out for Nami and Robin to help you guys untangle.

After the day’s events that night the crew threw a party. Brook started playing his violin. Everyone went quiet and listened to Brook playing only to hear you start singing and dancing along to the music (Dance 2). Everyone was in awe at how in sync you two were. After you and Brook finished everyone clapped. Luffy was happy that they had found you and that you and Brook ended up together.

Dance 1:

Dance 2:

[judgedarts]

hi!! proud owner of i think 5 atp jojo chibi charms and VERY new artist alley vendor here and i was just wondering, how do you budget/manage costs for non local cons that might have high transportation costs or more expensive tables? do you usually make back what you spent on transport + table/tickets + merch production/ordering + etc at the con or is there a slight loss? this is mainly for my own reference asking someone successful so ty for answering!!!

hey! congratulations on becoming an AA vendor :,) im very honored that you've bought from me before and that you consider me a 'successful' vendor haha!

i'm really passionate when it comes to talking about AA stuff so I'll be putting my answer in the read more since it's pretty long lol!

to be honest, I'm in a very lucky position to be able to travel to conventions beyond the east coast because it can really get expensive T_T i think the most honest answer i can give you is that your first couple of cons most likely are going to be a slight loss for you income wise if you are planning on traveling for a convention - tbh, i generally don't recommend doing a convention out of your state/out of your means if you're very new to tabling. my very first conventions were in driving/public transport distance (i love you new york and new jersey!!!) so i never spent money other than the table cost and ordering product. so if you're starting out and live in a state that has local cons, id HIGHLY recommend doing local events to get experience and cutting down costs as much as you can so you can get the most out of it! if you do intend on doing out-of-state cons because your state doesn't have many small local cons, i totally get it, but again, just try to keep your costs as low as possible. here are some suggestions and things to keep in mind:

1.split costs with a friend

split the table, split hotel fees, split ubers, etc! if you have family/friends in that state, consider crashing at their place for the weekend! maybe treat them to dinner haha

2. save up funds

honestly, there's really no getting around it - you might have to get income from somewhere else besides selling merch @ cons! i worked a part-time job throughout college, did commissions/freelance, and had my store open to save up for cons.

3. remember to deduct all expenses for your business

keep in mind that table fees/travel and hotel fees/products/meals are all deductible. these are considered investments for your business and they're completely necessary for you to run said business so when it comes tax time, you'll be able to breathe a little easier haha.

4. know your limits and be cautious

unfortunately, not all cons are going to be successful or will go your way no matter how much money you pour into it. if you know a convention is going to be out of your means, you can always apply the following year. I've had plenty of cons i couldn't go to because i simply couldn't afford it at the time, but the more money you save up, the more experience you get, and the more connections you make, you'll be able to afford to go and be successful! i'd also do plenty of research about the convention (especially the attendance #s, how previous vendors feel about the con, etc) before you decide to go. 5. have fun!

even though the upfront price can be intimidating, you are still paying the price to travel, visit a city you've never been to, meet new people, fans, your friends, and make connections! not to mention the really inspiring and motivating atmosphere that artist alley can be. i hope that regardless of the money you make you take the time to enjoy the experience to the fullest and appreciate that you are sharing your awesome art with others :,)! i try to make the best out of a con even if i barely make even, and make new friends and connections because trust me, they are so meaningful ^^<3!

besides all that, i highly recommend joining the Artist Alley Network discord if you haven't already - there's a plethora of info, advice, etc that you can take away from there. https://discord.gg/artistalleynetwork i hope this was helpful! if you have any more specific questions I'm more than happy to answer them for you. if they're too specific or i don't feel comfortable answering, i hope you can understand too! good luck with all your AA endeavors - i believe in you and i really hope we will table at the same con soon!

[ilguna]

this is gonna be a rant about my life lately and how stressed out i’ve been

i know it’s been a while, i’ll get on track with writing and then eventually fall off. with june, i started working more because my birthday trip was coming up, and since then, i’ve been busy because im gonna visit family in washington this month (july).

ever since i came back from my birthday, i have had nothing but anxiety over everything that’s been happening.

some information for everyone: i work in a restaurant. i work FOH (host, togo, bussing, expo, serving). when i met my boyfriend back in november, it’s because he started working BOH (kitchen). he’s worked for this company before, it’s just been a while. and he worked at a different location. he’s a couple years older than me.

him and i started talking at the end of january, started dating on valentine’s day. he made a major mistake a couple days later, and it’s typically what people break up over. i decided to stay with him. but i made the decision after everyone at the restaurant found out. i practically didn’t tell anyone, it was my cousin who told people, that found out before me. my cousin is/was friends with the girl that told her.

i have made my decision to stay with him, i have made that explicitly clear. my close friends (4 of them) were all against it at first, but since then, 2 of them have officially come around and aren’t actively seeking out trouble for him. 1 of them is on the fence. the last 1 has promised that she will never like him and will not make an effort.

she told me this in february, and i thought i could handle her, and that she might even change her mind, but she’s not going anywhere. i had a conversation with her towards the middle of may trying to tell her that she’s making me uncomfortable and im becoming avoidant (no contact = out of mind). she didn’t offer any peace of mind at all.

my birthday trip comes around, we’re good. i had a lot of fun in vegas. then comes the following weekend, she (difficult friend) was bartending, i was her cocktail. and 2/3 separate times, one of the male servers that have been here for like 10+ years comes over to talk shit about my boyfriend.

tidbit: my boyfriend has since become a manager (at the end of february) and the GM/AGM were good with it. i’ve been here for 3 years, the GM knew him from location 1. she didn’t see an issue.

which involves another female server, who he’s ALSO known from location 1. she was asking him to cut the floor, she did it in a way that was rude, and she’s known for being like that. he called her disrespectful for it. i guess she told the male server, because that friday he came into the bar, told the friend bartender, and then said “i bet he beats women”.

i was upset, and i took it to the GM. i stayed out of the bar for the rest of the night until she finally cut me. GM talked to the male server about it, he denied it. GM talked to the female server that was disrespectful, nothing really came of it. since then, several people in the restaurant have been referring to him as a woman/wife beater.

my boyfriends been having a hard time getting anyone in the restaurant to respect him since my cousin decided that it was her responsibility to spread my business without giving me time to cope and decide.

its upsetting. i get anxiety anytime my friend and the male server are working together because they’ve been caught talking shit since. i think both of them can tell that im on edge because the male server doesn’t really talk to me. but my friend looked at me today and called me grumpy. but there was so much i wanted to say to her about how shitty she’s being.

i’m “not supposed to” choose a boyfriend over a friend but i have tried. i have done my time defending her and her actions. i have given her time. i’ve explained that she’s making me upset. and she’s still doing it.

my boyfriend even walked in to her talking with one of the other girl servers who is NOTORIOUS for talking shit and spreading it today. and her boyfriend (who works in the kitchen) is just as bad with it. the GM has doubled down and is saying that my boyfriend is the problem. our relationship is the problem. she can’t do anything about the servers. but she’s lazy and a people pleaser so she’s not going to do anything, anyway.

i’m just so tired of feeling like this. i don’t want to talk to her. i don’t want to be her friend. the only thing i can do anymore is tell her that im done being friends with her if she can’t respect MY relationship. if you want to actively seek out a persons downfall, then you’re a shit person. especially since she’s supposed to be one of my best friends.

shes older than me too, she should be more mature but she’s not acting like it anymore. i don’t want to lose her as a friend, but if this is the only way that i can show her that i’ve tolerated enough, then it’s what has to be done. and it’ll probably make a statement in the restaurant, too.

idk. that’s just what’s going on. i’ve exhausted the people i can talk to, so i thought id share on here to type it all out. it doesn’t make me feel any better, though.

[valleeslunaires]

ɪɴᴛʀᴏᴅᴜᴄɪɴɢ ᴍʏ sᴘɴ ᴅʀ (ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅs, ʜᴏᴍᴇ)

this dr happens back in the season 4, in 2008

name: Amalia Castilla

nickname/s: Lia

age: 24

birthday: 21/12/1984

gender: female

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: straight

nationality: spanish

face claim: aysa aysin turan

specie: fire summoner

the most rare and powerful type of summoner, the last one was seen for the last time in 1830s.

if not well controlled, fire is the most powerful power but also the most dangerous, most affected by the emotions.

visuals:

backstory: (just the main parts cuz it's pretty long)

i'm from a small town in spain called alicante, my family is well known in all spain and europe for being an old money family (little did they know the witch blood that ran in our veins). My family and i never got along for them wanting to decide my future as they did with my older sister (that for her education was raised almost all her life in london). Dalia and i don't even look sisters as how much we don't see (or even talk) each other, she having a brilliant future, being the favorite perfect daughter giving me the reputation of being the black one.

with all the troubles in home including daily fights and all that, i found myself in the night, parties, drinks... wild teenager years.

When i turned 20, i went to college in oxford, law school. When i graduated moved to Beacon, NY.

I hadn't figured out about my powers until weeks ago when it started to wake up along memories of my childhood: when i was 5 i burned a chalet with myself inside and survived totally fine, my family realized before me what that could mean and erased my memories.

s/o:

name: Dean Winchester

age: 29

trope: strangers to lovers to "enemies" to lovers

how we met:

4 years ago, when i was in my first break from college, visiting madrid i ran into dean in a hotel bar. He was vising madrid along his father to visit his father's friend. We spent the night together and so the next days (for my surprise, cuz he looked like a cad). We spent those magic days like we were really something more. Then the day of him leaving arrived, he made the promise he would call me again (which he obviously didn't keep).

Now we ran into each other again when he comes to solve a case along Sam in beacon, NY.

plot (things that i changed):

even thinking about kicking lisa out of the story, i love a drama! so i'm keeping her in! (i even already thought about a very dramatic situation that im not goin' to say, i dont wanna receive hate)

the ep 19, season 1 will happen on the season 4 cuz it happens exactly on the city i live in! context: my friend will be one of the people that'll buy the cursed portrait

for now that's all! just showing a bit of one of my main drs!! i'll bring reports from there soon <3

[lucigoo]

Weekly Roundup 9th June - 30th June

So, im a little behind with weekly round up as im sure you can see. A broken wrist and RL really has been kicking my arse. Thankfully my wrist ismuch better and Rl seems to have calmsed down somewhat so im back. Between the 9-30th June I uploaded 19,849 words (thats not all I wrote but I didnt keep track lol) and as always I will put 6 recs and mine under the read more.

So, as always, recs first: The Best of You and Me - giddytf2 - The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, I love it hwen they are both idiots tbh)

Summary: In which Jaskier discovers that he's mysteriously pregnant but wants the baby, Geralt finally learns to use his words after twenty years, Yennefer is so done with two idiots in love and their communication problems, and Ciri gains a new family.

A Dream or Something More - amloveabledeathmo - The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)(Bilbo/Thorin, Quest retelling, The Rivendell scene is just so precious)

Summary: Bilbo gets a second chance, but how long is it before he realizes it. He does things to make himself happy and treats the dwarves like the lovely family they are. Also setting Bilbo a bit younger here not middle aged but about 40ish so like 10 or so years earlier to give him more time with his dwarves.

My Ego Dies - Conkers - The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) @conkers-thecosy (Bilbo/Thorin, this is just all around adorable)

Summary: What if Frodo Baggins visited Erebor ten years after Bilbo returned to the Shire, and met with Thorin Oakenshield.

White lies - ylc - The Witcher (TV) (Geralt/Jaskier, Fake/pretend relationships are just so much fun) Summary: In Jaskier’s defense, he hadn’t actually believed Geralt would come looking for him eventually, so he figured that telling his mother that the Witcher was the father of the child he was carrying would be a completely harmless lie. And then of course Geralt had walked back into his life and things got… complicated.

Moonlight Feathers - Akikofuma - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, both are griffins and its so bloody cute)

Summary: Due to his coloring, Geralt will never have a family of his own, he's sure of it; until he meets Jaskier.

Learning how to be free - tashaxxxxxx - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, A/b/o, please mind the tags but this is so beautifully done)

Summary: Jaskier is a badly beaten omega belonging to King Vizimir with little hope for the future. He had even less hope when he’s told he’s going to be given away to the Witchers, bloodthirsty beasts, as assurance that Redania will keep to the peace treaty.

Jaskier has little hope of surviving the next few days, let alone of finding freedom and love.

And, as always, my fics. I have 6 fics to share with you for this time period <3

Ereborian Pride (Bilbo/Thorin and the final of my Baggin-shieldtober series that took me 9 months lol. Once again, thank you @smolestboop for the amazing prompts. Summary: On the afternoon of Kili's 18th birthday, Thorin and the rest of the company and their families) remembeed their past lives. Their quest, living in a thriving Erebor.

Thorin remembered loving and losing Bilbo. 4 year later there still hasn't been any word from their burglar. Thorin needs to find the other half of his heart.

Count, Count, Count before you Cry: Count, Count, Count before I Die (Bilbo/Thorin, written for @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt count the days, very sad, please read the tags)

Summary: Thorin and the dwarves are Gold sick and they have NOT forgiven Bilbo his betrayal

A pair of scarlet rain boots (Geralt/Jaskier, My very first Witcher fic that I think is one of my fav things I've written)

Summary: Jaskier passed away a long time ago. The only human in a family of non-humans.

Cirilla has just had her first child and she wishes with all her heart her only human parent was here. Of course, he loved her so much he has never left her.

My brothers, my boys, my twins (Horry Potter, its Percy and George, gen fic for the @hp-abandonshipfest, its also part of my FireSeeker (Percy/Viktor) Series)

Summary: Percy was unintentionally parentified at a young age. He was tasked with being an extra parent to the twins. Now, having dumped his boyfriend, the night before the twins 22nd Birthday, the first birthday without Fred, he finds himself with George and Harry. Reminiscing about the boys he all but helped raised. His twins, and one is missing forever-more.

For the Abandon ship fest, prompt 67: Pre canon, Percy being the one who mostly watches the twins.

Dorcas the Orca, The Maruaders and a jail cell (A marauuders gen crack fic for a wonderful friend of mine)

Summary: Sirius, James and Remus are put in a jail cell.

As annoying as it is, Remus would have dealt with it, but theres an orca in the corner of the cell somehow...

If I sing it loud and clear, will you finally hear? (Geralt/Jaskier, for the @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - House of cards)

Summary: Jaskier has a new song and is as subtle as a drunken Lambert.

If Geralt doesnt see Jaskier's feelings for him now, well theres no hope for him.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

I am about 1 million years late to this but thank you for the tag @graphitekayla!!!

Rules: without naming them, post 10 gifs of your favorite shows, then tag 10 people. I'm definitely going to break this rule; you can't give me the opportunity to gush about my faves and not expect me to name them all!!

If anyone has followed me for any length of time none of this will be a shock lmao.

Shadowhunters, and more broadly speaking The Mortal Instruments. My first real fandom!!! I cannot overstate the impact the books and show had on my life. I wouldn't be who I am without it. I have an angelic rune tattoo. Magnus and Alec are some of the first queer characters I remember reading about. I remember where I was when they kissed for the first time in the show. You stupid nephilim lives rent free in my brain. This show (and the books) truly set up the trajectory my life is on now, and I will always always remember it fondly. Even with all the drama and discourse.

2. Critical Role, specifically C2. My first true obsession after the decade long Shadowhunters debacle. I stumbled into it to learn how to play D&D (which I now know is a controversy in and of itself lmao). But my friend @midnightellis wanted us to start a game, and I needed a way to learn that wasn't reading the books, so I started C2. It took 11 or 12 episodes, but then I fell in love. I spent the next almost year watching the entirety of C2 which culminated in visiting them to watch the finale together. I was extremely jetlagged. It was basically 8 amazing hours of nonstop crying. I have zero regrets. Except for the fact I still need to get the tattoo I had planned rip. One day!! I promise!!

3. Arcane!!!! A brief interlude between Shadowhunters and CR. There was about 4 months were I was OBSESSED and watched the entire show like 3 times back to back. I have many thoughts and feelings about Jayce. The show is also just so visually stunning. I cannot wait for S2 to drop in November!!!!!! I know nothing about League but I do really love this show.

4. House. Iconic. What else needs to be said? House is very much a comfort show for me; great to rewatch during the winter. I've watched the entire thing almost three times now, and even got my mom hooked lol. It was fun seeing all her reactions to everything before I moved.

5. If I had known what fandom was when this was airing, I truly would have been all over that shit. But I was 8 and didn't have access to the internet. Aang/Katara def my first otp lol. I did, however, ignore a friend that was over at my house to watch the finale, I believe. I definitely told them to go play so I could watch the show uninterrupted. Needless to say, they were not thrilled with that. I'm 90% sure it was the finale now, but I could be wrong about the episode. ATLA is also another comfort show that I could watch over and over again.

6. Shadow and Bone. I am still SICKENED this got canceled. Genya and David are the ultimate romance, and no one will convince me otherwise. I almost stopped reading when I found out his fate. I was devastated. Everyone in this show is also very pretty. I can't believe we won't get a s3.

I'm going to stop here because this is already long enough, and tbh I'm not sure I actually have four more shows. I can only be obsessed with one thing at a time, and the current obsession is Path of Night. And that does not seem to be waning any time soon.

Edit: Lost should 100% be on this list. I think I've watched it at least four times. My family and I watched it live as it was airing when I was a kid. And it still is one of my favorite shows. I know people got beef with the ending but I truly didn't mind it. Even if it's bad or whatever, I think Lost is still 100% worth watching. There are so many little hints and clues that I pick up something different every time, and each character death hits just as hard.

I'm going to tag: @gelatinouscute, @peppedstep, @midnightellis, @discordkittenterumi, @im-a-vampire-now, @zeena-athena , @syntia13treeman , @sapphicfugue , @dr-thumbs-brand-new-spot

If you want to do this :)

[bittertarot]

*Im redoing this again since I made a mistake lol😅*

Hiii! Hope you're well! I'm here for the kpop new year game

My nickname is buttercup, I'm a Capricorn Sun.

I spent Christmas with my family watching movies and looking at photo albums.

And my question is how would I spend new years with my chosen idols!

My chosen idols are NWJNS Danielle, Hanni, NCT's Jaehyun, ATEEZ San and BTS's V

Thank you in advance!🩷🫂

Thank you for re-doing! Hello, I'm doing well, thanks for asking! Ooh, that sounds really nice! How would NewJeans Danielle and Hanni spend their New Years with you? (Placing them together with 1 card since rules say you can only ask for 4 idols, sorry </3) *Queen of Pentacles* - I'm getting major New Years sleepover vibes here, with this card being about creature comforts and practicality! The 3 of you could have a sleepover before watching fireworks on TV, listening to music, doing each others hair, online shopping, etc! I feel like you'll talk to them a bit about financial issues or they'll talk to you about it and the 3 of you could come up for a solution for it together! Getting huge movie night vibes, too! The 3 of you could bundle up into a fluffy blanket with popcorn and other snacks whilst watching Christmas classics or romance movies and absolutely swooning over the male/female leads! You'd stay up till late squealing, gossiping, doing online shopping, just enjoying yourselves and playing fun games like truth or dare till you all pass out looking like absolute messes! Such a fun time between you all <3 How would Jaehyun (NCT) spend his New Years with you? *The Empress* - He seems like someone who'd stick to principles, like traditional Korean-type celebrations. He'd want to spend it with family, he might drag you over as a friend. You could feel awkward at first, but I feel like his mother would become fond of you? You might help in the kitchen, praying you don't burn the food, help with decorating the dining table to make it look a bit more festive! You might end up staying the night for a sleepover and watching movies, seeing Jaehyun get embarrassed by his mom, etc. It'd be this, or you dragging him over to your family and dealing with the same scenario but him absolutely winning the heart of your mom. She'd be like "son-in-law material??" and you'd have to stop her from embarrassing you LMAO How would San (ATEEZ) spend his New Years with you? *Knight of Swords Reversed* - My eyes hurt the second I got this card, I saw flashing lights. You 2 would go to an absolutely crowded party with flashing lights, drinks spilling, loud music. It'd be insane. I feel like San wouldn't plan this out, it would just be a very quick "let's go to this party" out of nowhere during the evening. He's very unpredictable and seems to have a disregard for consequences?? He doesn't really care about his idol image and is willing to discard that for a night, he just wants to have fun. He'd absolutely be the life of the party, with all eyes on him! He'd definitely check in with you every few minutes to ensure you're enjoying yourself and feeling safe, he'd be very concerned about that and would be willing to leave if you feel too overwhelmed. He takes New Years partying seriously, though, and will only go to the loudest, roudiest, ones! How would V/Taehyung (BTS) spend his New Years with you? *Ace of Pentacles* - Hmm, he'd spend his day with you looking for new opportunities it seems? He'd want to end the year doing something he's never gotten the chance to do, before! He seems like the type to enjoy visiting night markets, he might go to an amusement park with you during the day! He'd be looking for a new adventure and would not spare expenses with it! He'd also look for ways to help you with your finances, too! Maybe even give you money or new shoes as a New Years gift <33 He doesn't have much to say/do compared to the others, he's a very simple guy. That's all for this reading, have a wonderful 2024!! <3

[notetaeker]

Goodbye 2022

@peregrination-studies thank u for the tag! I love love planning and reflecting on the year so this was such a fun tag for me to do

What are things you've grown to like this year?

The process honestly. I've always been impatient when it comes to seeing results but over this year I started to appreciate the process of things? I've always been the type to start a project and then work on this project for 3 days until I'm done and by then I'd get so tired of it or be unsatisfied with the result because it doesn't reflect my tireless 3 days worth of work. But nowadays I start projects, put them away, continue it later, and it's been so enjoyable. I take time to fix any small things I would have ignored in the interest of time, start over if necessary. Just you know, processing it slowly. Instead of rushing toward the result, the experience of whatever it is- is the most important. It's still a work in progress but i think this is one of the things that surprised me the most in myself - the fact that I'm even able to do it. Other things I've grown to like: autumn lol and maybe even winter just a teensy bit.

What are things you've learned this year? Oof a lot of things actually. I think I'll make a list from my journal - Every morning I get to decide how to live my life / what I prioritize - Allah will open doors for you from placed you couldn't imagine - But you have to put in some effort and show you're trying - Living is much easier when you accept it instead of fighting it -Surely as the evening comes after a scorching hot day, so too will respite from whatever you're struggling with, it is the law of the world (the mercy of Allah) and all that was only until June asdlkj let me not make this too long lol maybe I'll make a post on stuff I learned this year

What works did you enjoy this year, be it films, books or other art? Books: The Secret Garden, Born a Crime Movies/Anime: Spy x Family, Julie and Julia, Also I watched all the spiderman movies on some random week like a crazy person Other art: sarah burns studio on youtube and her seascape watercolor paintings. They're so simple but also really beautiful

Is there something you're still looking forward to this year? There's only 2 days left! I was looking forward to buying yarn and I got it yesterday, so excited abt that. I'm hoping to go the beach today or tomorrow and see (sea) the ocean so :') excited for that if it happens (its so cold tho who knows). OH ALSO i wanted to bake cookies for my students for the first day of classes back from break and might make those early so that too ! :D

What would you like to see happening next year? SO MUCH omg - 1. Improve my arabic: I enrolled in an Arabic class because I've literally forgotten so many things so excited abt that. I also signed up for some other islamic studies classes b/c there was a discount so hopefully those are fun too! 2. take more notes !!! I keep reading / listening to such good stuff and telling myself I'll write it down when I have more time later and never doing it D: so next year hopefully I fill up a notebook or smth with those 3. Hopefully get comfortable with traveling / visiting places and then do exactly that 4. D: waiting on the result of my interview for a 2023 internship 5. turn some good deed into an unconscious daily practice. Rn I'm thinking sunnah prayers, because I've kind of dropped off from regularly doing them in the last year :( 6. ART. MORE REGULARLY. like i was doing this year :') im pretty pleased with the amt of art i did this year alhamdulillah

Tagging: @wayfaringmuslimah, @gushuwa, @wecandoit, @frenchiepal @humble-boness, @ckmstudies, @juliistudies, @heliops, @museeofmoon, @iwillsurvivecollege, @learnelle, @caffeinatediaries, @caramelcuppaccino