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formenis · 3 years

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Investigation

Anon asked: “ Can you do a one-shot of the task force showing up at HQ to see a playpen with a baby playing in it and they just assume that L kidnapped a baby and start demanding answers and L tells them it's his baby and his wife is busy working another case so he gets to watch the baby”

Of course~ I adore Dad!L♥ Anyway, sorry if you find mistakes, English is not my first language.

warnings: none

requested: yes

C/A = child alias

W/A = wife alias

H/T = hair texture

H/C = hair colour

Tokyo in august could be so damn hot and humid and Misa realised it very soon. Since she was announced as starring in director Nishinaka's newest movie, her agenda was full of appointments and the high temperatures weren't helping her in focusing on her work. Hopefully it would be over soon meaning she could go at L's HQ to see Light.

«Today could be a hot day but nothing is hotter than my Light~» she said dreamily out loud during the shot.

«What did you say, Misa Misa?» Matsuda, or "Matsui" when he was with her, played as her manager when she wasn’t at the HQ and it seemed he enjoyed it more than his actual job as a detective.

«Nothing Matsu…»

♰ TIME SKIP, AT L'S HQ ♰

«Finally, some fresh air» Misa sighed in relief once inside the building. She was still followed by Matsuda but they soon would split apart since he had to go to the monitoring room with the task force and the blonde girl wanted to relax in one of the many lounges (and maybe reading some magazines).

They were going to walk in two separated directions when they saw Watari at the end of the corridor with a big package.

«Have you noticed it, Matsu?»

«The fact that both Ryuzaki and Watari are acting strange these days? Yeah, it's hard not to notice it» and if someone like Matsuda noticed it, it must be pretty obvious then. It was true: recently, the greatest detective in the world and his supplier of logistics were so out of character. They would talk about toys, coloured pencils and bath tubs. It was quite strange thou.

«I wonder what's inside that box…»

«Let's go ask him, Misa Misa» Matsuda suggested with too much enthusiasm.

«No Matsu! Watari will never tell us…we have to investigate»

And with that, their personal investigation started. Matsuda and Misa discreetly followed Watari around the headquarters with this large package in his hands. They noticed he had a sort of big cross body bag full of something. Could they be L's new purchases? Or was L planning something unaware of the entire task-force?

Watari entered a room and the door closed behind him almost immediately, leaving Matsuda and Misa behind a corner. They were so focused in spying Watari that they didn't notice someone not far from them.

«Matsuda! Misa! What are you doing?» it was Aizawa, the detective with black hair and dark brown eyes, he was depicted as a tall man with a large afro. In that moment he was looking at them with a frown on his tired face.

«Ah! Aizawa-san!» Misa jumped in fear and hid behind Matsuda.

«Matsuda…why are you here and not in the monitoring room? We have a case to solve…you're first a detective» Aizawa scolded him as if he was a disobedient child. The younger man sighed in defeat realising he was right but Misa didn't quite agree.

«Wait Aizawa! We're solving a case actually!» the blonde idol came out from behind Matsuda and stood for herself.

«Really?» the other detective replied sceptically. «About what? Matsuda's lack of interest in the Kira case?» he crossed his arms waiting for a satisfying answer.

Misa was going to reply when she heard a sound coming from the room where Watari was. She peeked from behind the corner and saw the old man walking away from said room without the huge package and the cross body bag.

«Now Matsu!» she exclaimed and rushed before the door would close again. Matsuda followed her immediately while Aizawa stood there confused.

«Wait you two!» he joined them shortly after that.

The three of them ran towards the door and entered abruptly inside. After a whole minute of silence Misa started to complain. «There's nothing here!»

«Can we come back to work now?» Aizawa sighed and turned to leave the room when suddenly they heard a loud thud behind them followed by a baby cry. At first, they exchanged a concerned look then turned around at the same time.

And there it was: a dark purple baby playpen with a child inside. The sound they heard came from a toy that fell outside the "cage" and the baby was crying because they couldn’t reach it with their tiny hands.

«Aww! So cuuuute!» she took the toy and returned it to the baby. «Here sweetie~». Now that she was closer she could take a good look at them: H/T, H/C hair, puffy cheeks and two big black eyes; the baby wore a light blue romper suit with white clouds on it.

The kid took the toy from Misa's hands but his eyes stared at her with curiosity. For some reason, that baby reminded her of Ryuzaki.

«Why there's a baby here?»

«Except for you, Aizawa, nobody has children here…» Matsuda pointed out looking at his colleague.

The three of them were still talking about the baby that they didn't notice someone else entered the room.

«What's happening here?» the voice of Soichiro interrupted Matsuda and Aizawa's conversation. The Police Chief examined carefully the room in search for the source of that confusion and gasped loudly when he saw the child.

«A baby?!»

«What baby, Chief?» Mogi, not far from Soichiro, was the last one to enter the room and he had the same reaction of Yagami-san at the sight of the kid. «Aizawa, is he your son?»

«What-No! My son is a bit older than this one»

Now that the task-force was reunited, they proposed so many theories to justify the presence of that child: was he Watari's grandson? Or was he L's little brother? They even suggested he was related to Misa but she denied it.

In the meantime, the idol had eyes only for the kid. She was observing him playing inside the playpen with many toys: dolls, jigsaws, games of strategy or logic and plushes. He had a lot of paper sheets and coloured pencils scattered around him too.

«Can you talk, sweetie?» she asked him maybe too much hopefully. He was two years old (or maybe less) and it was very likely that he didn't talk at all.

The baby boy looked away from his toys to stare at her; he then pulled the pacifier off his mouth. «Yes» he surprisingly replied with a voice that melted Misa's heart.

«My name is Misa, what's yours?»

The child mumbled something like C/A [child alias] melting even more her heart for the cuteness. Misa started to draw and play with him, she was so in love with that kid. Maybe she was imagining her child with Light in that moment.

«Guys! I got it!» Matsuda uttered out from nowhere making everyone jump in surprise. «Now everything is clear!»

«What is clear?» Mogi asked sceptically him.

«Since Ryuzaki wants to catch Kira at all costs, he wants to use this kid for the investigations. Like he is doing with Misa!»

«Don't say such nonsense, Matsuda. Are you suggesting Ryuzaki…» Soichiro stopped himself mid-sentence maybe not able to imagine someone like L doing what he was thinking.

«That Ryuzaki kidnapped this kid!» Matsuda ended Soichiro's phrases with no hesitation. He seemed quite convinced about his reasoning.

However, his colleagues were not convinced as him. Nonetheless, they admitted L was someone capable of extreme measures in order to achieve a certain result. Maybe Matsuda was not wrong after all.

«I can't conceive the fact that Ryuzaki kidnapped this little boy» Soichiro said thoughtfully while observing the child now in Misa's arms. When he approached the boy, his gaze softened. «Hello little one»

C/A looked at Soichiro and the first thing he did was to touch his moustaches. It was followed by a loud laugh maybe because they tickled his hand. Shortly after that, C/A wanted to grab Soichiro's glasses but he ended up dirtying them.

«There's only a way to find the truth, Chief» Aizawa told him with his usual serious voice tone. «Let's go ask Ryuzaki»

♰ MEANWHILE ♰

The greatest detective L was looking at many screens at the same time, absorbing tons of different information all at once. He was going to lick the chocolate from a donut when he saw something alarming with the corner of his eye: the playpen was empty.

He quickly called Watari to ask him why C/A was not in his temporary room. From the screens he could see his mentor enter the room and check the playpen; Watari calmed L down by telling him that the task-force must have discovered the room and now they were playing with him somewhere in the building.

«What's going on, Ryuzaki?» Light asked him quite worried. He noticed how agitated L was but he couldn’t figure out the reason. Let's not forget they were handcuffed together.

L was going to call everyone in the monitoring room when he heard the main door being thrusted open with force. Then someone span his chair.

«Ryuzaki! We need an explanation!»

«Misa-san, I don’t have time for this-» he looked past her and saw C/A in Soichiro's arms while playing with his moustaches. L rushed towards him picking C/A up. Once in the greatest detective's arms, the baby relaxed immediately and placed the head on the shoulder.

«Is it true that you kidnapped this kid to use him in the investigations?» Matsuda asked swiftly feeling really determined.

L (and Light too) sighed frustrated, not expecting smart thoughts from him. He was going to scold him when C/A started to pull his white shirt mumbling something.

«What is it, C/A?» L asked in his usual monotone voice. However, when near that baby, his voice would become warmer and gentler even though the task-force didn’t notice it.

The baby didn’t reply, it seemed he just wanted L's attention. The two of them were in their own personal bubble and the task-force was staring at them in disbelief: what was happening in front of them?

«It seems you need an explanation, as Misa-san said before» L started to say and according to the many nods he heard, they were eager to know. «I didn’t kidnap this child, of course. He is my son, C/A»

«Whaaaat?!» Misa's reaction summed up perfectly what the task-force was feeling: confusion, bewilderment and doubt. If Soichiro couldn’t imagine someone like L kidnapping a baby, the fact that he had a son was even more incredible for him.

«Why didn’t you tell us before?» Soichiro asked him both curious and upset after a long silence.

«Because it's not relevant for the investigations, Yagami-san» L replied frankly while looking at him with his dull black eyes.

«Does he have a mother?» it was Aizawa's turn to ask, since he was more sensitive about family.

«Of course he has, she's my wife»

«Are you married, Ryuzaki?» Light was in disbelief as everyone else in the room.

«That's what I said, Light-kun»

Misa, being…Misa, started to squeal with her usual high-pitched voice. She wanted to know every detail about his wife, how and when they met, their marriage, the pregnancy and so on. Of course L didn’t tell much details, his usual answer at Misa's questions was «Classified information». What the task-force understood was that L's wife, W/A, was an important agent that had the task to solve the most delicate cases around the world (much like him more or less). Moreover, both Soichiro and Mogi noticed how L would smile more while talking about her or C/A, he seemed truly in love with his family and this small detail revealed a rare and intimate part of L's personality.

«You didn’t tell us why C/A is here, Ryuzaki» Light pointed out while the baby was playing in his lap.

«W/A is solving a case in Europe so I have to take care of him» the detective picked the baby up from Light's lap carefully. He didn’t really like that his son was so close to the first suspect of the Kira case.

«Hey, I wanted to play with C/A…»

«It's dinner time for him, Light-kun» L stood up from his metallic chair and started to walk away from the room, followed closely by Light. «Watch carefully, you can learn something for the future» he teased the young boy.

«Ryuzaki!»

#death note #death note headcanons #death note scenario #death note request #l lawliet #l x reader #l x you #l x y/n #dad L

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

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Vincenzo: The Gentleman Villain Reborn

Long before there were loudmouth buff guys in spandex, there was the gentleman villain.

There once was a time when the gentleman villain, whether a gentleman thief in the Raffles or Lupin mold, or murderous arch-criminals like Fu Manchu and Fantomas, organizations like Les Vampires, and even in-between figures like Rocambole and Judex, was the coolest thing in the pop culture block. The figures right around the corner of Baker Street, when Nick Carter and Sexton Blake and any billion old serial detectives weren’t quite cutting it. Their time was not to last long in the spotlight, as the pulp heroes consolidated domain in the 30s and then the superheroes took over, but every now and then, they return in various forms, never fully gone. But I’d dare say I’d never seen a gentleman villain story quite so bold, so modern, so dynamic and so gloriously over-the-top in pride over it’s existence, until I began watching Vincenzo.

Vincenzo is BADASS and I don’t use the term lightly. Not just the titular character, but the show itself. It’s currently a couple episodes short of the finale and you should stop everything you’re doing or watching and go watch Vincenzo. It’s been an utterly glorious ride from beginning to end with no shortage of great characters, terrific writing, great relationships and jaw-dropping moments as every episode succeeds in topping each other in WOW HOLY SHIT factor. It’s a shot of adrenaline and storytelling excellence to the eyeballs and you don’t have anything better to be doing right now than watching this.

I mentioned a while ago that Black was a show that, besides being also terrific in quality, captured my interest as a Shadow fan specifically because I saw in Black what I believe is the heart of The Shadow as a character: an embodiment of evil, motivated and created and warped by social catastrophe and strife, set loose to punish true evil in order to protect humanity. In that regard, if Black is where I find the heart of The Shadow, Vincenzo is where I find the spirit of what I like about The Shadow as a series: Cathartic urban fairytales where an extraordinary agent of change, armed with incredible cunning, sleight-of-hand and combat skills, rises above a dark background to command a folk brigade of ordinary people who reveal themselves to be extraordinary through their newfound purpose, to right the wrongs of society’s predators, by being better at their tactics than they are and turning their tools against them.

I’m gonna spoil it a bit under the cut but please go watch it. I cannot praise this show enough and I’ll do my best to try.

Vincenzo centers around the titular character, Vincenzo Cassano, an Italian lawyer who works for the mafia as a consigliere, adopted by it’s Don at the age of eight. After the death of the Don and an attempted betrayal by his son, Vincenzo flees to Seoul and ends up taking residence at a ramshackle building called Geumga Plaza. Geumga Plaza is the hiding place of a gigantic stash of gold hidden by one of Vincenzo’s former clients, and he intends to retrieve it to rebuild his life somewhere else. Naturally, not only is the hidden room completely impenetrable, but the building is occupied. by residents who are being forced out of it by criminals working for the Babel corporation, which intends to take possession of the building. And thus, Vincenzo has to put his skills into working out progressively bigger problems, as his efforts to uncover the gold turn into a fight against Babel and it’s lawyers, as the problems take on bigger and bigger proportions.

Vincenzo’s got a lot of what you’d expect from a k-drama at first glance. The leading man is a dashing young man, the leading lady is headstrong and stubborn, you see their romance coming a mile away and they take their damn time getting there, there’s emotional backstories that take a long time to be revealed, lots of wacky side characters and comedy interspersed with the darkest moments, a focus on corporate corruption, and so on. But it’s got an intrusion of elements brought by Vincenzo’s inclusion, such as mob drama, tonal and cultural imbalance, and the gentleman villain tropes that Vincenzo brings, as the catalyst of change whose antics backflip through action hero, romantic hero, super hero and super villain, cunning puppetmaster and gun-toting warrior alike, and start to have an effect on the world around him. His allies become stronger, more determined and effective, and the villains grow smarter and more horrid as they desperately try to avoid their own downfalls.

On paper, Vincenzo is almost a textbook example of how to craft a villain protagonist. He’s a mysterious foreigner with a hidden past and incredible skills who shows up uninvited in “our” world, who starts terrorizing and manipulating people into doing his bidding. He’s got a hotheaded and foolish investigator chasing after his every move, and frequently employs misdirection and sleight-of-hand to fool the authorities. He commits crimes and employs underhanded methods in the service of stamping out people worse than himself. He never really makes any claim of being a hero and actively rejects the notion he’s fighting for justice, but instead states he’s doing it as a matter of principle. One of the characters early on even states he gives off the vibe of a movie villain, even Vincenzo himself tells Hong Cha-Young, the female lead, that he’s teaching her how to be a proper villain. In another series, Vincenzo would be the hypercompetent sidekick to the main villain, or secretly the main villain, the lone badass that the action hero would have a tough fight against before defeating and moving on. But Vincenzo does not allow himself to be dismissed so easily.

On the first episode, when we’re introduced to him in Italy, he’s painted as the badass to end all badasses. But the minute he arrives in Seoul, he falls for a trick at the airport and is mugged by two cabbies, and has to walk around penniless and without dignity, shouting curses in Italian that nobody understands. He has to sleep in a broken down apartment, his “taking a steamy shower with classical music playing” fanservice scene keeps being interrupted because the shower doesn’t work, and a pigeon chattering outside his window keeps ruining his sleep.

The tenants of the building are all introduced as varying levels of unsympathetic and useless, or downright creepy. The tailor screws up his favorite suit, the chef who claims to have studied in Italy is a total fraud, there’s tenants who scare us by passing as ghosts and zombies, and Hong Cha-Young is introduced as an unlikable stooge for Babel. Vincenzo is a villain protagonist who is forced out of his grand mafia epic film, where he conducts business around lavish manors while classical music plays, and stumbles onto a korean drama, a world that operates by different rules and where no one has any reason to take him seriously at first, and gradually finds out that the difference between both worlds is not as big as he’d imagined.

It’s only at the very end of the first episode, when the neighborhood gangsters show up to terrorize the tenants, that Vincenzo starts to kick ass again, and he has not stopped so far. In fact, not just him, ALL of the tenants have gradually started kicking ass with him. Hong Cha-Young severs all connections to Babel and proves to be, as his main partner in crime, just as cunning, twice as driven, and three times as batshit and kooky. The tailor who ruined his suit turns out to be an ex-gang member capable of fending off groups of thugs with only his scissors. The creepy piano girl reveals herself a hacking genius, the zombie impersonators become incredible actors, the failed wrestler and badass wannabe becomes his most active field agent along with his equally strong wife, the chef improves his cooking and lends his restaurant as a meeting center, all of the characters, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM gradually become incredible, competent, resourceful people, really no different than they were before, it just took a little courage and pushing.

The headstrong and foolish agent pursuing Vincenzo becomes 100% smitten with him and quickly becomes one of his greatest allies. Even the neighborhood gangsters, after being left to die by Babel and forced to start anew, quickly become some of his most loyal allies, and gradually redeem themselves in the eyes of the tenants to the point they become friends. In departing from his old family, Vincenzo forms a new one, even if never by his intention. They even all get matching suits.

This incredibly potent, human core surrounding the antics of an extraordinary figure of action is part of what used to make the Agents of The Shadow such a special, meaningful and beloved part of the series, and something every adaptation since then has been 100% poorer for neglecting. But Vincenzo does it, and does it right. I could watch a billion adventures with these people and never get sick of them.

Vincenzo is a slick, modern take on the gentleman villain that takes many of it’s oldest conventions and provides blueprints for making them work in modern times. His plans often take a performance art-edge as he employs tactics both old-fashioned and modern, like using social media to stage an event in front of the Plaza so the bulldozers set to demolish it won’t be able to pass, or copying files and passing them to his police contact while keeping the real ones when said police contact inevitably betrays him. The tenants put all of their skills to use, no matter how unusual or seemingly useless. Every episode lays the groundwork for a smashing finale where all of the threads come together and we bare witness to a grand tapestry of karmic retribution.

The villains themselves are no slouch, and also have that modern edge that gradually ramps up. They stage discreet assassinations involving gas leaks and watches meant to burst into flames. They stack the deck impossibly against all characters. They employ masked goons by the dozens, armies of lawyers to smudge any connections between themselves and their actions, and every sector of society in covering them, from journalists publishing pro-Babel propaganda to police commissioners. The assistant of the main villain does zumba classes amidst ordering assassinations, and is often likened to a snake and a witch with her "Crystal Ball” (the name she uses for ordering assassin contacts by the phone), complete with a cowardly, scheming assistant she bullies at every turn. The CEO of Babel has a dual nature not out of place in a Jekyll & Hyde/Dorian Grey kind of story.

The main villain is often painted as a slasher villain backed by massive corporate power, murdering people with hockey equipments and even outright named “Jason” at one point, with a tense string theme song accompanying his deeds. The show hides the villain at plain sight by using one of the most familiar set-ups of romantic dramas and the tension never stops even after he’s revealed.

Mobster films tend to paint an idealized version of it’s protagonists, not necessarily because of a genuine love or interest with mobsters (I mean, it really goes without saying that real life mobsters are obviously not admirable figures), but out of a sense of displaying a “this is what it could be” fantasy, a fantasy where the mafioso is a dark hero who will still ultimately do the right thing and stick up for the little guy, in a similar way to how superheroes often function as police officers except, y’know, actually dedicated to protecting people.

Vincenzo does go to great lengths to address the imbalance of putting such a dark figure as it’s hero, through showing how the situation can only be addressed by the intrusion of a figure such as Vincenzo. There’s a scene where Vincenzo and Hong proceed to explain extremely succintly to their cop ally why the “bad apples” argument is horseshit. One of the show’s characters, someone who’s spent his entire life being the best person he could, and dedicating himself 110% percent to fighting evil even at the expense of connecting with his own family, someone who absolutely should be the hero to take down Babel, admits shortly before dying that it wasn’t enough, that it was never going to be enough, and that what the situation calls for isn’t a hero, but a monster. That monster being Vincenzo, who is not only powerful and monstrous, but commands the loyalty of people high and low class alike, criminals and law enforcement agents, to fight Babel. In his words, “the ultimate monster”, something even the world’s biggest badass cannot defeat by himself.

On most other set-ups, Vincenzo would be pretty unmistakably the villain. But here, when he’s set up against a starkly realistic depiction of how corporations actually function in our world, depicts that Vincenzo’s ability to clear his way through goons John Wick-style is nowhere near enough, and to that end, he’s gonna have to fight impossible battles using his brains and his allies. And in the end, he defeats them, time and time again, and proves that they were not that impossible after all.

One can only hope he’s on to something.

Oh yeah and THE PIGEON BY HIS WINDOW ALSO KICKS ASS and I will not explain how, just watch the show, I can’t do it justice no matter how much I talk about it.

#k-drama #vincenzo #i've fallen in the k-drama rabbit hole and I am not getting back up #I love everything about this show so goddamn much #song joong ki #tvn vincenzo

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years

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we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it.

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere.

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM.

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system.

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we.

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick.

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT.

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara.

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what?

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s.

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else.

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes.

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #dick grayson #barbara gordon #koriand'r #komand'r #garfield logan #jonathan crane #conner kent #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #manic pixie pop tart

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glenncoco4 · 3 years

Text

How I’m imagining Deeks’ first day back after paternity leave.

~~~~~~~~

It’s been a long day to say the least and he still has 4 more hours before he can go home. Home. His thoughts travel back to this morning and how perfect is was.

His eyes slowly drift open, the morning light streaming into their bedroom. He turns his head as a lazy smile spreads to his face, hearing his beautiful bride talking nonsense to their baby girl.

“Daddy, has to go back to work today. So it’s just you and me.”

A tiny cry rolls off the newborn’s lips, Kensi’s lips immediately finding the crown of Athena’s head and places a kiss there.

“I know. I know. I’m gonna miss him too.”

“Hey.”

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Can you say good morning, daddy?”

He sits up against the headboard, wrapping his arm around his wife, her head immediately finding his shoulder as they watch their little girl’s eyes look around the room.

His lips find her temple, whispering against her skin. “I love you.”

He’s drawn out of his day dream at the chirping coming from his pocket. Quickly fumbling for his phone in hopes that it’s his wife, he pulls the device out of his pocket, gleaming.

Opening the text he sees the image attached and can’t help the tears forming in his eyes.

Kensi and Athena are curled up on the couch in their matching pjs, mirrored smiles.

Hi Daddy! We miss you!

Sam looks across at his partner both smiling as they watch the new dad stare at his phone.

“What’s got you so smiley over there, Deeks?”

He turns the phone towards Callen and Sam, showing off the picture of his two girls, his chest filled with pride.

“Now that’s a Hallmark moment.”

“My girls.”

“I bet Kensi’s going stir crazy at the house.”

“Actually, she hasn’t even mentioned coming back to work yet.”

Sam doesn’t seemed as shocked as his partner. He knows all to well how much life can change. “Having kids changes a person.”

Deeks nods, he knows exactly what the SEAL is talking about. Before they had their little girl he and Kensi were just focused on each other and their jobs but now the job has taken a back burner. “Don’t get me wrong, being a dad is amazing but seeing Kensi take care of Thena is the greatest thing in the world. For so long she had this veneer of being badass and emotionless and now she’s just a big fluffy mess.”

“Wow.”

Deeks’ brow furrows in confusion as he looms across at Callen. “What?”

“Do you guys ever have those moments when it suddenly hits you how dramatically things have changed?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like how the first time you and Kensi met, you guys could barely stand each other and now you’re married with a kid, and the whole white picket fence thing.”

“Pretty great.”

Sam nods, agreeing with his desk mate. “Yeah, and before we know it there’ll be some lower case gs running around.”

Deeks eyes go wide. “Wait, is Anna-“

“No, and not anytime soon.”

Both men shake their head at the team leader’s immediate dismissal. “You don’t know what you’re missing man.”

Another chirp comes from the former detective’s phone. As he opens the image, he bites his lips, trying to hold back his tears but it’s no use.

“Deeks, are you crying?”

“No, I just have water in my eyes.”

“That’s crying.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Come on, G, put the guy out of his misery, it’s his first day back.”

“Fine. Get out of here, Deeks.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, there’s nothing much to do here.”

Deeks hurriedly grabs his already packed bag and walks over to the team leader, placing a big kiss on his cheek. “I love you, man.”

Seeing his partners look of horror at his desk mates actions, Sam can’t help but laugh.

Deeks hurriedly walks towards Sam, intending to give the big guy his own smooch. “And you.”

“Touch me and I tell Nell what that red stain really was in the Audi.”

The blonde’s eyes go wide at the mention of the incident a few months back. “In mine and Kensi’s defense, it was slipperier than we anticipated.”

“Go.”

As Deeks turns and runs down the hallway, Callen looks at his partner. “Do I even wanna know?”

“I’ll spare you the details, but bacon flavored lube.”

“How do you know?”

“Let’s just say I’m never walking into their driveway unannounced ever again.”

They both shiver at the thought, both wondering how the couple hasn’t been arrested for public indecency yet.

#Densi #Densi Fanfic #Kensi x Deeks #Daddy Deeks #Sam Hanna #G Callen #NCIS: LA

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

Note

Hi! Sorry about this but you once said Dick was in Arkham or prison during batman RIP?? Why was he in Arkham and i wonder why nobody writes about it?

Oh you’ve hit on one of my favorite grudges, anon! LOL. Yup, Dick was captured by a society of supervillains called the Club of Villains or the Black Glove Society, who ‘checked him in’ to an Arkham under their control under a false name. This was in Batman R.I.P. which was pretty much the last Batman story BEFORE his assumed death in Final Crisis.....which means that uh....add to everything else Dick was going through at the time, that he was also just getting over having been locked up in Arkham in a straitjacket and drugged to the gills and kept foaming and raving and out of his mind for about a week, until he ultimately escaped right before one of the villains was about to give him a literal lobotomy with a pick to his forehead while he was strapped down to an examination table.

This was all part of some very dubiously explained plan Bruce had hatched in advance in order to foil the Black Glove Society and get all his players into place, meaning that Dick literally ALLOWED himself to be captured in the first place, and stay in Arkham all this time, and only ‘pull the trigger’ on his escape at the literal last moment.....ALL because he put his absolute trust in Bruce and him knowing what the hell he’s doing when he asks stuff like this of Dick.

(PS, this was still back in pre-Reboot continuity, so given my fixation of the day, I can’t help but point out that Dick consents to getting locked up and going undercover in prisons QUITE a lot for Bruce in that version of continuity, the same timeline as that juvie origin, which.....I’m just saying. There’s a lot of mileage to be milked out of the fact that Dick is asked to put himself in prison situations a ton without anyone checking in on how this affects the mental state of a guy whose formative years at the time included “was a model ten year old prisoner” among his traumatic experiences.

Just like that whole period of continuity, between the early 90s to around 2010....is chock FULL of times when Dick turns himself into the cops or tries to GET himself imprisoned....as his form of penance when he feels he’s failed in various ways as a superhero. When the secret origin of your son and former sidekick is that people put him in jail and said it was where kids like him belonged, and the go to move of that son and grown up superhero whenever he fucks up or feels he’s let you down is to try and put himself in jail and say its where people like him belong....like, I don’t know how to tell you this, World’s Greatest Detective, but that’s probably not Dick in the driver’s seat at those moments....that’s the trauma, baby!

“Kid who blames himself for his parents death and ends up in jail cuz that’s where they put bad people so they can’t hurt anyone” and who grows up making a habit of being “Man who blames himself for shit and somehow always ends up in jail where they put bad people so they can’t hurt anyone”......idk guys, I’m just really feeling like maybe there’s some kinda connection there? Almost like the one thing....in his formative years....might have had formative effects.....on forming certain patterns of behavior in Dick Grayson whenever he gets his “oh shit, I made a mistake, guess I gotta go to Hell now” on.

Like one could almost imagine that the personal Hell Dick envisions for himself as the only suitable place of punishment he deserves....like, seems to probably looks a lot like...prison. But idk, just spitballing here. There’s barely no evidence for this. Its only happened like six times in one continuity and three in another and in the recent Titans show and also this other time and look, I’m just saying, there’s barely anything there to suggest this is A Thing with him.)

Anyway, I’ve included a couple scans of Dick’s time in Arkham, followed by one of the only images we ever got of Jason’s time in Arkham. This is where my grudge comes in, and why you’ve probably never heard about this happening to Dick:

Because fandom loooooooooooooooooves giving Dick’s traumas to Jason (as though the dude doesn’t already have enough of his own) and then for added irony bonus points....making Dick the Reason that Jason is suffering in fanfics in the same way Dick actually suffered and Jason actually didn’t.

Its like. Symbolism or something. See, cuz parts of fandom hate Dick and Dick being Dick is literally the only reason we’ve ever gotten for why, since.....pretty much all of the reasons people give for hating Dick are....things that literally never happened or that worse, happened TO Dick. See? Symbolism!

Or maybe its stupidity. Idk. I forget which. Its definitely one or the other though.

But like, yeah. So Batman R.I.P. happened, and then Final Crisis happened, and then Battle for the Cowl happened, and then Morrison’s Shitastic Adventures In Writing Batman and Robin Shittily happened, and then Bruce came back and Batman Incorporated happened, and then a few dozen stories happened where Dick locked Jason up in Arkham a few cells down from the Joker and threw away the key while Bruce was gone, and also in a bunch he consented to Jason getting shock therapy treatment or put on drugs and in others he just found out way too late that all of this happened to Jason because of Dick putting him in there and never checking up on him because he doesn’t care about Jason and etc etc, and then a bunch more people decided that they really hated Dick Grayson because wow how fucked up to do that to your brother who was literally murdered by the guy, right?

Except....check it out.

That order of events is important, because add in certain key contextual events, and suddenly....things look.....a bit different.

Batman R.I.P. happens (Dick spends the tail end of it locked up in Arkham, drugged, in a straitjacket, strapped down and almost lobotomized. Weirdly, like, almost all the things that fanfics listed as happening to Jason in the year he was at Arkham? All literally things that happened to Dick in a handful of pages in the few days he was at Arkham. With nary a fic about all the things that actually did happen to Dick while he was in Arkham because he consented to doing this even knowing what could happen because Bruce said its what he needed and Dick said thats all the reason he needed. But whatever. We’re Batfandom. We’re here for the angst. Like the angst of voluntarily subjecting yourself to an experience straight out of your worst nightmares and previous greatest traumas, just so you can be where your family needs you to be to win the day, with no thought to how much this will suck or could go wrong and no need for a thank you for putting yourself through this - hey, no, not like that angst, you tricked us, that’s Dick angst! Eww!)

Ahem. Anyway.

Then Final Crisis happens. Bruce dies in that ‘looked like he was incinerated to ash but actually got booted back to the Stone Age by Darkseid’s laser beam eyes which really, when you think about it, should’ve been everyone’s first guess and thus there’s no excuse for Dick not believing Tim when he said no that’s definitely what happened’ kinda way.

(We are all, of course, expected to disregard the fact that Tim never actually said this or proposed any actual theory FOR Dick to disbelieve and the sum total of their opposing views on Bruce’s death was Tim saying “I refuse to accept Bruce is gone” this one time before he even HAD a theory that Bruce was definitely alive and here’s why, and to which Dick said “yeah I get that, its why I’m in therapy, 10/10 would recommend” before Tim skedaddled from Gotham for his fact-finding world tour about which he shared no facts he found, at least not before the ‘grand reveal’ which Dick literally believed the second Tim said ‘hey btw Bruce is alive’ OH WAIT, DID I PUT MY TIM ARKHAM RANT IN MY DICK ARKHAM RANT POST OMG THAT’S SO AWKWARD UGH STAY IN YOUR LANE, TIM ARKHAM RANT, THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU).

So Batman R.I.P. happened, then Final Crisis happened, and then Battle For the Cowl happened. To be perfectly one hundred percent clear, I pretty much hate all the writing in the Batbooks from this point forward until awhile after Bruce returned, and one of the prime reasons for that hate is how JASON is written. I do not like this Jason, not because I don’t love his character, but because I DO. But this Jason was a total rage monster with NO morals, NO scruples, NO line he wouldn’t cross....which isn’t Jason. The Jason I stand will cross lines the others won’t, without hesitation, but he’s still defined JUST as much by the lines he still WON’T cross as the ones he will. This Jason basically HAS no lines. He’ll willingly hurt children, and has no problem shooting Damian in the chest as a distraction, and gloats about trying to kill Tim a second time here. Also, he dramatically drops himself off a moving train and possibly falls to his death rather than take the hand extended to him by Dick, the brother who has....trauma about watching his family fall to their deaths but whatever that’s probably a coincidence, must be, nobody else ever mentions it.

But also of significance during Battle for the Cowl is.....Arkham Asylum blows up. On the page. The whole thing. A bunch of villains engineer an escape and this all culminates IN THE ENTIRE ASYLUM BEING BLOWN UP AND RAZED TO THE GROUND. ITS GONE. IT DIED. IT DEAD.

A moment of silence for Arkham the First.

Later, Jason returns during Dick and Damian’s run as Batman and Robin, and he’s still all about sowing chaos everywhere he can and fucking with his brothers just because and its like Morrison was trying to play to their favorite theme about people becoming the guises they put on and they were doing their usual meta meta commentary about how Jason naming himself the Red Hood in an attempt to appropriate something that was once his murderer’s and make it his was ironically always in Morrison’s mind doomed to inevitably turn him into the person he ended up emulating despite his initial intentions BUT WHATEVER, ITS NOT LIKE THAT’S KINDA MORRISON’S WHOLE SHTICK AND ALL YOU NEED RIGHT THERE TO REFUTE THEIR VERSION OF JASON AS CRAP INSTEAD OF DEFEND IT LOLOL.

So this Jason clashes with Dick and Damian repeatedly. He takes on a teenage sidekick despite the fact that literally every other version of Jason is in large part driven by his belief that there should be no kid or teenage sidekicks. He kidnaps Dick and Damian and locks them up in front of a video livestream so that everyone can see their attempts to escape - which they’ll only be able to do by revealing their secret identities - and this is how Jason will finally prove he was right to Bruce once and for all....despite the fact that no other version of Jason has ever tried to play the ‘reveal all the Batfam’s secrets and burn all their IDs’ card because that would render them all virtually unable to operate and thus help people, and Jason’s thing has never actually been that he doesn’t think the Batfam don’t do ANY good, its that he believes they don’t do ENOUGH good by not being willing to cross certain lines. He’s never wanted to SIDELINE them purely to prove his way is right, he wants to prove to them he’s right so that they’ll JOIN him in doing it ‘the right way.’ Hell, he’s never been about PROVING he’s right, period....he cares about BRUCE believing he’s right, but just being right in principle? JASON DOESN’T CARE. He’s a grandstanding asshole on main, but his entire ethos is about actions mattering more than easily said sentiments not actually backed up in any actionable way.....NONE of which is in keeping with a full villain version of him with a rationale and agenda that is one hundred percent just about proving abstract points for the sake of vigilante debate team or whatever.

Also, Bruce is still believed dead and its hard to prove things to a dead man, which Jason of all people would know. Since like, he also has died. Or so I’m told.

BUT AGAIN, WHY JUST REFUTE THIS VERSION OF JASON AS BEING OOC AND SUCKING WHEN INSTEAD WE CAN MAKE IT ALL ABOUT HATING DICK LOLOL.

Anyway. So then Dick and Damian finally beat Jason and leave him with the cops to be locked up.....in what turns out to be Arkham.

Which is interesting, see.

BECAUSE DIDN’T ARKHAM JUST GET BLOWED UP A FEW MONTHS AGO?

Well yes. Yes in fact it did. So what is this Arkham Jason gets locked up in?

That would be the Arkham that not long after BFTC, was rebuilt from the ground up.....by none other than Wayne Enterprises.

Who is in charge of Wayne Enterprises thanks to Bruce being believed dead? Why, that would be Dick Grayson. Who has more reason than anyone to be aware of Arkham’s ineffectiveness and its tendency to contribute to the revolving door of villains that go in and out of it, rather than be of any help? That would also probably be Dick, the guy who has been fighting those same villains since he was a kid. And who also LITERALLY JUST HAD A FIRSTHAND EXPERIENCE WITH BEING LOCKED UP AND ALMOST LOBOTOMIZED BY EVIL-DOERS RUN AMOK WITH NO SUPERVISION IN THE ASYLUM, NOT EVEN A YEAR AGO?

Also...Dick Grayson.

So when we find out that Dick was in fact the reason that Jason was put in Arkham instead of general prison population elsewhere, which we do indeed find out - y’see, when Bruce comes back and wants to have Jason moved to general prison population at Jason’s request, the literal first thing out of Dick’s mouth is “but he won’t be safe there!” - well, fandom had two options at this point:

1) They could assume the absolute worst of Dick and write him as a callous, neglectful, insensitive, oblivious jerk who threw Jason to the wolves and never once looked back, until it was made clear to him by people who actually cared about Jason what a horrible thing he’d done and he - for the first time since he’d done this - actually thought thoughts and realized he’d put Jason in the worst place he possibly could, he’s a monster, he should probably just go to Hell right now.

2) They could connect the not terribly far apart dots and assume that Dick Grayson, who had Arkham rebuilt with Wayne Enterprise funding, most likely to do all that he could to ensure that it was done WELL and with SAFEGUARDS and had at least a CHANCE of being effective in its stated pursuits...as well as of course now being in a position to have inside access to the asylum and keep aware of what was going on in there.....well perhaps this dude was like “hey Self, so the brother who displays absolutely no remorse about trying to kill our two other brothers two times and counting, and who even now is laughing about the next time he’s going to try, well....he’s not really a liar, so he probably is going to try again, and seeing as how I’m not really a fan of that, and that for some bizarre reason just saying ‘Jason plz dont kill our brothers though' isn’t getting through to Jason, who keeps insisting 'no I gotta tho, they suck and I hate them so I gotta’.......

Well. There’s noooooooooooot really a whole lot of options there other than: lock Jason up so he can’t kill our brothers and/or other people, or....don’t lock Jason up, and he goes around killing our brothers and/or other people.”

Anyway.

Who wants to guess which option most of fandom picked?

And for the bonus round, who wants to take a crack at answering “Just spitballing here, but speaking totally hypothetically.....COULD the sheer volume of fans who seem to view Dick as a callous, neglectful, insensitive oblivious jerk have anything to do with how many of them acknowledge they only entered the fandom via fanfic rather than the comics....as well as the teeny, tiny, so negligible-its-hardly-worth-mentioning POSSIBILITY that maybe the reason so many hold this view of Dick is because of how many fics just.....write him that way in order to make tropes like “Dick threw Jason in Arkham” plausible? And then said fans just....neeeeever figure there’s any need to fact-check anything here, even if this is what they’re going to base their entire definitive view of Dick’s character on, to the point of being willing to wade into any and all Dick-centric posts or fics to argue that no, Dick IS the kind of insensitive, brother-hating asshole who would and DID lock his brother up and throw away the key?”

Sigh.

If only there was SOME possible explanation for why so many Dick Grayson fans have gripes about fanon and various popular fanfic takes on him, even though everyone knows fanfic’s a free country and people can do anything they want with the characters and you can’t get mad. Like, imagine if there was a line called “cause and effect” drawn between what some people do or write and various perceptions, reactions or discourses other people have that mirror the specific things written by that first group.....no, no, I’m sorry, its too fantastic, too absurd, I sound hysterical. Please forgive me. I could be drunk.

But whatevs.

Let’s get back to CANON.

So yeah, maybe there is an element of being somewhat justified when saying ‘hey dude, locking up your brother isn’t ideal brotherly behavior,’ but I kinda gotta say that Tim and Damian would also not be giving out any Brother of the Year awards if Dick had just let Jason go and two weeks later, Jason showed up again to be all “Hey kids, guess what, its MURDER TIME”.....just like he was promising he would. Right there. To their faces.

So call me a biased Dick Grayson stan, but I do side with him on this one, sorry. At least with the version of Jason that he helped lock up......aka the one with no scruples, no boundaries, no way to appeal to him whatsoever - at least not that Dick hadn’t already tried.

(Because that also doesn’t get mentioned in stories about this time, weirdly. Locking up Jason wasn’t Dick’s go-to move, it was more like.....last option after he’d exhausted a shit ton of other options and was exhausted and pretty sure that next time he and Jason clashed he would like. Die maybe.)

Anyway. So now the other interesting part of all this comes awhile later in Dick and Damian’s Batman and Robin run. Specifically the end of it when Bruce comes back. See, when Bruce comes back, he checks in on Jason in Arkham. Where Jason’s just chilling. Bored.

Yes. Bored. That is the canon of Jason’s time in Arkham. HE’S BORED.

All he does in there, he says, is do these mandatory psych evaluations they make him do and then just like...reads in his cell. That’s it. There’s no drugging. No electroshock. No one proposing lobotomies. No straitjackets of any kind, not even the kinky. No. The terrible, awful place where that DICK of a brother of his had had him locked up.....was treating him humanely and giving him no cause to object or complain other than boredom....which was also his stated reason to Bruce, as to why he wanted to be transferred to gen pop.

(The unstated reason turning out to be that once there, he could enact an escape plan which involved murdering everyone that ate food that day, yes, even the not-so-bad criminals or people who were falsely convicted HMMM SOUNDS LIKE JASON ALRIGHT).

So yeah. Jason was completely and totally FINE the entire time he was in Arkham. The place Dick pulled strings to have him committed to, instead of him ending up in prison.

(Because once again, it also gets conveniently left out that technically it was the cops that sent Jason to Arkham, given that it was the cops that arrested Jason right there on the scene after Jason lost his last fight with Dick, and I’m not gonna lie, I’ve always been SUPER curious what people figure Dick was SUPPOSED to say when the cops said "okay we’re going to cuff the guy who was just loudly and publicly monologuing about all the murders he’s done and all the murders he would still like to do and all the murders he’s going to go do first thing after he’s done defeating Batman. And then we’ll be taking him to jail on account of.....all...the murdering and also the confessing and the avowed proclamations to keep doing all the murder?” Like, what compelling counterpoint was Dick supposed to offer in that moment, and also, why should he and no, “but Jason’s my beloved little blorbo” is not what we’re looking for at the moment, can you provide an equally compelling alternative defense please.)

But anyway, the cops went to haul Jason off to jail, where Dick felt he wouldn’t be safe cuz of all the murder and stuff and also because of that time Jason was a crime lord that pissed off every other crime lord and gang in Gotham while shouting hahaha come at me bitches....(Ugh, Dick’s such a worrywart)....and thus its not even that Jason only ended up in Arkham instead of some other alternative that would have been much BETTER for him because Dick just didn’t fucking care about his brother.....its the complete opposite! Jason only ended up in Arkham instead of some other alternative that would have been much WORSE for him BECAUSE Dick cared about what happened to his brother, even despite various attempted fratricides (plural! note the plural!) AND after Jason made destroying Dick and everything he stands for his literal MISSION STATEMENT and then BRAGGED about it on NATIONAL TELEVISION.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but considering allllllllll the shit fandom holds against Dick on his various brothers’ behalves (most of it made up, like.....this whole locked him up next to the Joker thing).....

Literally what the hell do Jason and the others have to do before DICK is allowed to hold a fucking grudge, let alone just.....make non-optimal choices in situations largely of Jason’s own making that he left Dick with extremely limited options to choose when dealing with the fallout?

But yeah.

As terrible as “Dick threw Jason in Arkham” sounds, the REALITY of it was Dick had his one brother who kept vowing to kill all his other brothers locked up in the ONE facility Dick could guarantee himself easy access to and keep a close eye on, to make sure Jason was being kept locked up and literally nothing else was being done to him - no experiments, no weird stuff, not even making him draw for therapy time if Jason didn’t want to.

I know. WHAT AN ASSHOLE, huh?

And then we have out of Dick’s own mouth the concern for Jason’s safety and assumption he wouldn’t be safe in a regular prison, as like......literal proof that he’d pulled the strings he did with Jason’s safety in mind. He couldn’t let Jason go free while Jason was actively trying to play Murder Tag with his other little brothers, but that doesn’t and didn’t ever mean that Dick didn’t care about Jason or just acted callously and without thought.

But somehow, all the fics from and about that period of time are unanimous: Dick had his poor defenseless brother thrown in ARKHAM when Jason has done nothing wrong ever okay so maybe there were a couple things but certainly nothing that deserved being thrown in ARKHAM where he was drugged and shocked and tortured and could hear the JOKER laughing at him from just a few doors down and he was terrified every single day and Dick didn’t come and see him even once because he’s a terrible person who never loved Jason.

And if all the fics say it, well it must be what happened, lol. Or else its just like, peoples’ headcanons. Of what COULD have happened.

Which is true, I guess.

All of that COULD have happened. If Dick.....only did it because he’s a terrible person who never loved Jason and Jason spent his whole time drugged and tortured and terrified of the Joker, who also could definitely have been a few doors down from Jason the whole time (if he wasn’t the primary antagonist for Dick and Damian at the same time). You don’t know!

And if, y’know....all of this hadn’t happened in the same continuity where it was still very much A Thing that Dick most definitely did beat the Joker to death on account of he murdered Jason. Who Dick did care about, allegedly, as he’s not in the habit of going around murdering anyone who kills people he’s just ‘eh’ or kinda so-so about.

But whatevs! Fanfic was clear: Dick is the worst and he has no idea the pain and suffering he inflicted on poor Jason who was unjustly accused of trying to murder his brothers, and ugh, if only Dick knew what it felt like to be locked up in Arkham and drugged and tortured and almost lobotomized, maybe THEN he’d have compassion for what hypothetically could have happened to Jason if literally everything that happened in canon didn’t actually happen.

Me: Stares at the camera like he’s on the Office, and presents the pages I mentioned including earlier:

DICK IN ARKHAM:

JASON IN ARKHAM

And then Jason immediately took advantage of the prison transfer to stage a break-out that only required loosing poison into the food supply to create a massive distraction and oh yeah killed 88 other inmates whether they were in there for murder or possession or who knows and who cares - certainly not Jason. Cuz that wouldn’t be out of character for him or anything.

But again....WHY BLAME JASON’S SHITTY WRITING FOR THIS WHEN WE CAN ALL BLAME DICK INSTEAD AMIRIGHT GUYS?

Yes. Dick, that utter CAD, for the mere crime of repeatedly trying to murder his brothers and his repeated vow to keep doing it, locked Jason up in a place where he had little time to do anything BUT THINK.

But there you have it! That time Dick was in Arkham for a few days of drugged up straitjacket fun with an almost lobotomy for the grand finale, and that time Jason was in Arkham for months of thinking about how he was going to do all the murdering as soon as his asshole brother wasn’t keeping him locked up and unable to murder people anymore.

LOLOLOL but bonus points if anyone can find even a SINGLE fic about that experience of Dick’s or if all the drugging and experimenting and electroshocking is just in fics about Jason suffering because Dick doesn’t care about him and never even thought once about what could happen to him in jail or in Arkham.

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madraleen · 3 years

Text

Death Note - Tsugumi Ohba & Takeshi Obata Part 1 ALL THE STARS/5

Jot-it-down-as-it happens commentary with spoilers for the entire manga.

Commentary:

-I can’t decide if manga Light is scarier than anime Light just bc of the pureness of joy on his face.

-Glad to see I’m L’s bitch even in manga form. I literally said to the page, “Hold on, I’m distracted by the first panel of this here man.”

-Idk, there’s sth so intimate in the Kira-L dynamic from the get-go, equals, intellectuals, I love it.

-Kira said yes to self-care.

-Honestly, I love Matsuda, he’s such a baby.

-Ugh, Light’s little doting smile for Sayu. He was such a good brother once.

-Considering that L’s mannerisms before we get to know him are so different from when we actually see him, I choose to believe that what we are seeing in the initial panels is not, in fact, the actual, factual design development, but the version of the super sleuth that all but Watari would picture. Alternatively, it’s L’s POV and he doesn’t especially notice his mannerisms bc they’re natural to him, so he doesn’t note them. Alternatively to the alternative, it’s L’s POV and he’s in his mind palace.

-When Light addresses Ryuk as “Shinigami Ryuk” ya know ya boy is mad.

-Literally, human-wise, only L knew Light. This personally, this intimately, this truthfully, only L got to know Light. Dammit, I hate them (affectionate).

-Light, honey, if you even so much as tried to touch Naomi, she’d have you on your ass in a second, please be serious.

-Honestly, Light’s first misstep was to show the extent of his intelligence.

-Light made Ryuk sweat, lmao, I love Light, he’s so perfectly crafted.

-Light’s “not impressed” face is my everything.

-”Boy, Light Yagami sure talks a lot.” L, the greatest detective in the world, circa 2004.

-L, that same greatest detective: I don’t like the Second Kira. He’s not like MY Kira.

-Everyone’s in various stages of panic around L.

-A moment of silence for Gelus.

-Omfg, manipulative Light is so corny.

-I… didn’t know L actually says to Light’s face that there’s a whole group of investigators called L - which granted, it’s meant as Mogi and Watari if you don’t know what comes next, but if you do… it kind of frames the entire story as Light vs L.

-Matsuda said Lawlight rights…?

-I think L genuinely respects Soichiro. And why wouldn’t he.

-My boy L is so perceptive, I cry.

-Like. I know. I KNOW! But when I see memoryless Light treated like this, I feel bad for the guy.

-The world wouldn’t be able to handle memoryless Light and L working together as partners, but my God, how glorious would that be.

-This is all such a whiplash for L, poor guy.

-Lol, you know it’s doomsday when L says, “It’s okay to feel things.”

-Soichiro really said, “Eeeh, fuck it, let them fight it out.”

-Liiisten, I think it’s a nice touch that memoryless Light and L touch each other’s shoulders when working together. Seriously, it’s low-key heartbreaking how well they work together. That said, inner monologues aside, wherever L and Light talk, I’m like, is this a lie? Is this an act? Is this real? A mindfuck, really.

-Imagine Aiber and Wedy tho, walking in and seeing two grown-ass manbabies tied to each other 24/7. “...Welp. Sure. Why not.”

-I love how both memoryless Light and L act as though being tied to each other with handcuffs is the least of their problems. A non problem. It's just a thing, c’ est la vie.

-I interpret Soichiro’s face as “what the FUCK is this gremlin doing” when L calls Matsuda as Asahi.

-I’m starting to love Misa, wtf. The protags are all various shades of amoral/immoral assholes, but they’re such good characters, I love them so much.

-Mido is cute…

-Ugh, there are some panels of L and Light when they’re ~partners that are just so camaraderie-like, I hate them (affectionate).

-The tragedy of L being so damn right, yet having no proof.

-L has this goodwill or whatever towards the people he works with. He doesn’t randomly abandon them or hang them out to dry or leave them unprotected. It’s, dare I say, nice of him. He's a good leader.

-Misa with her aggressive little face and her little fists going “yay,” oh my God, why is she so cute.

-“Any ideas, Mogi and Matsuda?” Meanwhile Mogi and Matsuda are watching the soap opera in Misa’s room. Relatable.

-Oh my God, Misa’s attacking L’s hair in the background, I’m screaming.

-”Misa-san, take this seriously,” says the guy holding a megaphone.

-Misa keeps going for L’s hair when she’s angry, and honestly we stan.

-I would like to stress the fact that L is stacking sugar cubes on the rim/handle of his fucking cup.

-Yes, L’s methods are questionable, but you have to wonder how far he would have gone in the investigation if he had had free reign and no one telling him no, or without L actually listening to anyone. Quite possibly, Light would have gone down fast.

-Oh, but every time memoryless Light leans on the desk and takes command, he’s so commanding and efficient, I can’t :’(.

-Oh Light, Light, Light, I’m so sad for your corruption arc.

-I’m sorry, but Death Note is simply too good, I can’t handle it.

-Look at my man L being hands-on in the helicopter and all :’(((.

-Light touched the notebook… He touched the notebook. I don’t want to read on.

-No shade for my son Near, but like, L solved the case starting from scratch in more or less ⅕ of the time that it took Near. Literally no shade, it's not even a fair comparison. It's just an observation.

-Lmfao, “Congratulations for having feelings, Light!” Oh, Matsuda, I do love you.

-”I’ll put you out of your misery” - Light, my man, I love you (spitefully), but I cannot wait for the day Near gets you.

-He’s gaslighting Misa so hard. Where’s Near, is he coming :).

-Low-key loving the fact that L has sweets all over the pages of the death note, no respect, just sweets, I love him.

-Oh, I see. Manga L, unlike anime L who nearly wrote his own eulogy, didn’t suspect his death at all. Okay. Okay. That hurts more. Okay.

-I don’t want to read it, it’s coming up and I don’t want to read it.

-Fam. Fam, it’s the anime all over again, it’s me being an emotional mess all over again, and saying that I understand, I understand the narrative reasoning, but dammit, not L. Why L.

-I’m glad he died knowing he was right all along. I’m glad he got that. But. L. My heart. L.

-I’m also glad that L wasn’t exactly outwitted. He was up against supernatural forces with missing information and lies. It wasn’t wit vs wit that brought him down, it was wit vs power.

-NOW BRING MY SASSY CHILD AND THE LORD OF CHAOS and let’s GET this little shit, dammit!

-What is it, Light, you want an Oscar? You going for that Oscar? SCREW YOU!

#death note #death note manga #death note spoilers #spoilers for the ENTIRE MANGA #book commentary #manga commentary #manga

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currentfandomkick · 4 years

Text

Marinette did not sign up for this pt2

forgot to post this before i passed out last night. part one here ao3 here

It was almost four years into being Ladybug when the Justice League made contact.

In that time, she and Chat had built the miraculous team and they both knew each members identities, but swore them all to not seek out one another’s identity. (Though Alya was Alya and had Carapaced figured out on his first outing… convincing her not to reveal that to him took a bit. The girl was determined, but Marinette follows Fu’s rules to the letter (as much as she can) and that meant Secrets Stay Secret damnit.)

Not contacting the JL themselves was partially due to some fallout the Mayor and Parisian government with a (dissolved) Justice League’s branch. It was well before her team’s time. Something about collateral damage and if her miraculous could fix damage dealt by JL members or not playing some role in that too.

She decided it was a good thing when two years later she found a fucking dagger with a large bouquet on her balcony. It became a regular occurrence for special occasions—birthday, winter holidays and on Easter (she didn’t even know why on that one. Her parents aren’t Catholic. Maybe Murder Robin was, or thought she was?). She would just find some weapon with flowers somewhere in her room. She had no fucking clue what Murder Robin (Alya found articles where the ‘new’ Robin was cited as likely having killed multiple people in Gotham and just, yikes) or his friends or even her father (Fucking Batman, the Ghost of Gotham) might have meant by leaving it, but it was clear they had her address, knew which room was hers, and could do a lot of damage if she toed the line. She wasn’t testing any of those ‘no contact rules’ after that.

Hiding a dagger and various other weapons (so many knives and throwing stars) from Maman by giving it to Fu and later passing it off as an eccentric gift from him to her for always helping him out was… an adventure when Fu was still Master Fu. She hopes Murder Robin doesn’t find out about that bit. She has no clue how he or his family (not hers, hers are in Paris with her. Hers at least tried to talk to her, tried to listen and did make time for her. His family? Complete strangers she may share DNA with.)

She (logically) should be terrified that Murder Robin knows her alias and secret identity are the same person; if he’s really one of the world’s greatest detectives’ kids, why wouldn’t he know? Batman must have known for years—why else would Murder Robin be able to find her? the DNA scan was in a closed match system to just Paris. And she knew there was no way Goddamn Batman, Ghost of Gotham, would hang around Paris long enough to get dragged into the system for him to have a ping.

He just did not want anything to do with her or her city’s trouble since it wasn’t his. She wasn’t his. Wasn’t wanted by him. That was fine—he has enough to worry about in his hell city.

Sending Murder Robin out to do his dirty work?

Not fine.

Her team and her were… managing the Hawkmoth situation. Keeping it from spilling out of Paris since Startrain. Goo-guy managed to give them a break—people can grab akuma that aren’t meant for them and become much weaker akuma than if the akuma reached its target. Same with the few that could grab an akuma in the air. It meant when akuma went out, some citizens were willing to bear Hawkmoth’s wrath for a bit—even groups taking turns sometimes—to prevent someone from getting akumatized until Ladybug could purify the akuma or Chat Noir could destroy it.

And for akuma battles, well, she has more than just her and Chat, Luck (Creation) and Destruction. Viperion gave them multiple chances to change costly choices in battle. Bunnix fixed the ones that Viperion couldn’t. All oversized opponents fell to Ryuko and her mastery of the elements, even if she can’t always make it thanks to different schools and tight schedules. Miss Sting was chosen by Marinette—Aurore was easy to lean on for news team reports and media appearances that Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t have the time or energy for. Plus, Aurored needed the anger management, so win-win. Don’t even get her started on Pegasus or King Monkey always being ready at a moment’s notice and how they both started joining Nino and Alya’s parkour dates that have morphed into group hangouts in last two years. Seriously—if she knew where she needed to be, Max was ready to answer her call. If she knew more chaos would work as a distraction, long live King Monkey, the Great Distractor.

Then there’s her emotional support in the field (besides her chaton), Carapace. He’s a great shield in battle, good with civilians and quick to defend. He’s also big on mental health (something their team sorely needed). How Nino managed to get turtle headphones, Marinette doesn’t know. She does know she nicks them from him regularly as Ladybug for team hangouts and when she needs to clam down on patrol.

Then there is her civilian bestie, the one who convinced her to stay as Ladybug, Alya Cesaire, aka Rena Rogue and the Ladyblogger. Rena Rouge is by and far one of her favorites to talk about potential Hawkmoths with, and work out akuma prevention techniques with. In the battlefield she was one of the first to strike (even if that’s not how she should be using the flute, Marinette has no room for judgment given how she uses all of her Lucky Charms.) Alya always posted and circulated anti-akuma tips and altered the Ladyblog to have each icon for known miraculous mean something.

Marinette was nothing but supportive of her friend, even if the blog is a behemoth to maintain and resulted in Alya retiring as her Deputy (Rose took over gleefully as Deputy). She liked that the Ladybug was for news, and the Cat for if an attack is ongoing. The Butterfly tracks akuma sightings before an attack, and was a bit on the nose in her opinion, but it’s effectively mapped out areas where Hawkmoth’s lair is or has an opening, giving them an area to investigate and patrol more heavily. The Turtle offered guided meditation videos and yoga sessions (somehow always on-going), while the Fox was for group chats and various akuma-related support groups. The Peacock offered mental health resources, and was constantly growing. The Bee was for self defense videos and sat next to Dragon for akuma survival tips. The Snake was one of her personal favorites, advice on calming down with guided breathing if someone feels close to being akumatized, and she’d used it herself more than once. The Horse was the one she’s the least familiar with, for shelter routes that she never used. The Monkey held a number of fun distractions, videos and memes uploaded by her followers with art and songs, and was overall very light hearted.

Marinette is proud of her team.

Though it doesn’t mean there aren’t days she’s waiting for it all to unravel, or for an Older Bunnix to appear again and tell her they have to undo the day Marinette’s identities were compromised. But that is a always an apocalypse event option only. Chat Blanc still haunts Marinette’s nightmares, and Alix’s too. the Princess Justice timeline haunts Alix since she lived it in real time, but it’s Adiren’s nightmare come to life in multiple other akuma attacks. Apparently if Marinette is akumatized, she brings about a second Reign of Terror so encompassing, it made Robespierre’s look like a child’s drawing of what a reign

It was during another Syren event when things went from workable to a slow boiling unbearable. All but Alix were transformed and fighting minions to clear a path for Ladybug to get to the main akuma.

Imagine her frustration when Aquaman and Aqualad appeared behind her while she was scouting on the outskirts, and both refused to make any eye contact, practically kneeling in water to her and making themselves a target. When they should be able to read the room and see that the battlefield isn’t the place for this.

“Oh Great Paschalítsa” Aquaman began, “I understand your hesitance in this matter, given the Miraculous and Atlantis’ history,” Aquaman continued as she dodged yet another minion further ahead and kept working her way to where the akuma was, ignoring his speech. “But I ask that you do not sink—”

Marinette gave up on her current task to ensure there wasn’t some international incident of Ladybug letting Aquaman be captured by akumas or something. She’d never head the end of it if she didn’t.

But now they were surrounded. Aqualad at least kept his attention on the task at hand (re: keeping minions from spotting her) as they all worked out a way to escape, even if he wasn’t looking anywhere near her. Apparently Aquaman got the message (finally) and did the same as his sidekick(?) after Aqualad made a few gestures she wasn’t paying attention to. She does have an akuma item to break and akuma to catch and purify.

The pair did manage to act as decent bodyguards and distractions while she worked out the kid’s item and how it connected to their fixation—no swimming until their grades up meant all of their gear but a whistle was taken away. One Lucky Charm and convoluted plot that merged fighting in 3-D, a pair of scissors and a lot off kicking off underwater buildings later, and Paris was back to normal.

She managed it without talking to Aquaman once. She could give quick directions to Aqualad without toeing the line—he wasn’t part of the Justice League and was known to operate in the ocean alone when Aquaman wasn’t there.

“Great Paschalítsa,” Aquaman began and Marinette wanted him to go off and leave her alone. Him and Aqualad. “As king of Atalntis, I humbly offer my aide in whatever has caused you and the great Mávri Gáta to show yourselves to the world.”

What was with all this formal speech? Marinette thought they knew French, or well, Alya mentioned it said they did in their bio, but it clearly wasn’t the kind her class used for projects. And Marinette was exhausted, frustrated, and now did not have a good and convenient target for her rage (re: akuma that drowned Paris) and well…

Well, she blew up. A bit. But can you blame her?

They wouldn’t take the hint. (Silence means Fuck Off).

“Look,” Marinette whirled on them, ignoring her team’s shock and not even going in for the celebratory ‘Pound it’. “I told Murder Robin—“ the pair winces at the that wording. Good. They knew who she meant then.

“—that I won’t get involved with anything involving our dad.”

She didn’t miss the sharp intakes from her team. Chat knew, only due to a freak out over being left a freaking sword one time and she panicked, okay?

“And I meant it. Just because Batman felt guilty or something,” She doubted it. Ghost of Gotham doesn’t feel anything and can apparently take out entire buildings on occasion. (Even if she was pretty sure that was someone filling in for him, she wouldn’t discount it either.) “That Doesn’t mean I’m going to change my mind on the matter—My team has got this. And we don’t need a handout four years too late.”

They had to. Fu was gone (For three months now. Three months Marinette held the weight of being The Guardian on her shoulders alone. She had to have this. She wouldn’t trust random elements sent by Mr. ‘I accept my murderous son and ignore the one in constant peril that blew herself up twice to save Paris.’

“Bug out.”

She knew her team would have questions, but Chat could answer them for now and Miss Sting would be able to handle any questions if any the media tried anything. Bright side of having the main Miraculous Team journalist as Rena with a determined hacker Pegasus; if it was personal to the team, the pair made sure it was never there.

Later at JL HQ

Aquaman walked up to Batman once the meeting was over. Batman knew the man had something on his mind and that it was related to himself—why else would he keep looking at him during the meeting? Whatever was troubling the Atlantian, Bruce could only hope it wasn’t emotions. That was really, really not his department… Jonn was much better with issues like that.

“Batman, may I have a word?”

Batman nodded, quick to follow the other out into a more private room.

“It has come to my attention that your daughter and you have a, uh, tricky relationship.”

Batman raised an eyebrow, as his relationship with Cass was doing well… he thought. Maybe he should visit her more? She was doing fine on her own and was always warm to him when he visited her in China on her missions against the Triad. Perhaps he should see if she was open to working with him on a case on that, or see if she wanted to come to Gotham again.

“And I don’t mean to judge here,” Aqua man continued, obviously nervous. “But uh, apparently your current Robin is well aware of her existence.”

Batman raised an eyebrow under the cowl. “Black Bat and Robin are close.”

The way Aquaman’s face contorted indicated nothing good. “Your other daughter.” The man paused, waiting for Batman to understand. “Ladybug.”

Bruce… Bruce froze. “I don’t have another daughter.” Not to his knowledge.

Aquaman ran a hand through his hair. “Well apparently ‘Murder Robin’ has met her,” Aquaman said with air quotes of all things. “Years ago.”

Bruce felt his heart stop. Damian’s… adjustment into the family had not been easy. And a few years ago Damian was much more… willing to do things against the Batcode, things that had him thriving in the League of Assassins. Things that changed a person. Things he’d need to ask this Ladybug—his daughter, another surprise child—about.

“And given that a Ladybug being active has always been a sign of a potential apocalypse—“

Batman’s red flags began flashing. Hard. His child was in danger and fighting a potential apocalypse event. Without his help. Without Batman’s resources.

“I assume Ladybug is a mantel.” Bruce hoped she had a mentor, someone to ease her into hero-work.

“Yes.” Aquaman looked… hesitant then. “Were it not for one Ladybug’s mercy, my people would have died when Atlantis was sunk by her equal, the Black Cat’s user. It seems this time they’re allies this time, against the Butterfly—I, Batman, are you alright?”

Bruce was not okay, at all. There is an ongoing apocalypse event, a daughter he never met stopping it (how old was she? Was she Damian’s age or older? Younger? He didn’t want her to have to live with this life, but she was and was doing so without him, without his help, without someone he knew she could lean on for support) and apparently his youngest son was well aware of this and did nothing to help. Did not even tell him.

He was going to have words with Damian.

“Excuse me.” Batman turned to leave. He has a son to interrogate, research to do, and a daughter to find (beg forgiveness for not getting to her sooner, and help her) on top of the usual workload. A Bat’s work is never done.

Wonder Woman who stopped him while he was reeling with this information, her grip too solid on his arm, and unlikely to break.

“It is not wise to rush in.” She began, appealing to reason in the hopes of keeping a panicked “Batdad” from making the situation worse. “From what Aquaman has told us, she does not welcome your involvement,” she said slowly, hoping it would sink in. “The Ladybug Miraculous has always been an agent of creation, of healing.” Diana hoped that would set her friend’s mind at ease. Ladybugs were notorious for their battle prowess and strategies, yes, but first and foremost their duty was to undo damage. “Ladybug herself will have much on her shoulders if her role is anything like my mother’s when she was among the Chosen, and adding yourself to the equation before her adversary is defeated will only serve to distract her from her goal.”

Batman remained tense, but didn’t struggle against Wonder Woman’s grasp. Good.

Green Lantern was the next to approach, as planned. “So why don’t you focus on your family in Gotham before rushing into meeting this kid,” Green Lantern—no, Hal suggested. “We’ll work on finding out what’s causing this possible apocalypse. You get your house in order.”

Bruce heard the words that weren’t said. Find out what your ex-assassin son did your demi-god daughter and make sure he doesn’t screw up anything further.

“That is not—“

“Batman.” Wonder Woman squeezed his arm. “This is not a suggestion.”

Cold curled in Bruce's stomach. His daughter was in danger, fighting against a potential apocalypse, and he was told to sit this one out. When it was personal. (His daughter who he needed to meet, to learn about, to see what made her tick and work out how to help her wherever she might need it. His daughter who he had lost years with.)

(They were ordering him to lose more time with her.)

“You are benched from League activities until this is sorted out.” Wonder Woman continued, as though she hadn’t just gutted Bruce. “I will take lead on Ladybug’s case. My people have much experience with her and the Black Cat as allies.” It was Diana that was smiling then. “Perhaps Mother’s connection will convince her to allow our aide.”

Green Lantern nodded along. “And when I’m not with you guys, well, GL core is in charge of keeping things not-apocalypse-y across the universe and keeping it from spiraling. And Miraculous tend to like the whole Balance thing, so it shouldn’t be too much for me to help out every now and then with them too.”

Bruce twitched where he was. He wasn’t going to win this. Not by a long shot.

But they were taking Aquaman and a Green Lantern. Granted, at least it wasn’t Guy. But a Lantern. Over him. When it involves his family.

He had to get his house in order quickly.

Damian would say he was quite pleased with himself that day. He managed to decide the type of weapon that would help his sister defend herself against others best, given her profession as a seamstress, he was annoyed he hadn’t thought of it sooner. Selecting the type of needle to give her, and to ensure they could be used for fabrics to give her a reason to carry them on her person, was crucial however.

She had rejected his other offerings thus far, though he could hardly blame her. This would be his seventh attempt. He did hear it was a lucky number from somewhere… and he had gotten better since his last attempts at understanding the type of person she showed herself to be and the type of person she wished to be seen as.

The Swiss dagger on his first attempt was too bulky and not hidden enough for a style of fighting she should strive to cultivate. His second attempt was an ear dagger which were easier to use and she could add additional force with her thumb. He thought it was better protection for her, and it was small enough this time to be kept in her purse. Much better than his first attempt. Only from her pictures he knew it wasn’t ever in her purse.

He had failed to find her an acceptable apology gift that offered her the protection she needed. The third was when he moved to a larger blade, hoping the thin rapier could be hidden well enough as decorative or as a fancier fencing tool than standard. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility given her closeness to an Olympic level fencer and this ‘Adrien Agreste’ who often partnered with Tsurugi. He was glad she had taken to displaying it at the least, though Adrien claiming to have given it to her left a bad taste in his mouth.

His sister wished to not have it known she had her own weapons then, he could handle that. His fourth attempt was going to be a butterfly knife but given legal restrictions that he had come to realize she would follow (as idiotic as they were) he changed it to a classic Swiss knife. He did see this carried on her person on occasion, but not often. He looked into more easily concealed knives and gifted her a ballpoint pen knife—it looked like a pen and he made sure to customize it to resemble the pens in her room (he took a sample for reference) and did see her often carrying that one, though by active attempt or chance he couldn’t gather. He decided she would need a long range item next, and gifted her a small variety of throwing stars (and a knife or two, she seemed to favor possible close combat weapons of those he gave her). He noticed that none of these were carried on her person (he may have bugged them with trackers to figure out her preference) and they rarely left her room.

That was why he concluded that this time needles that she could use for sewing or battle were his best bet. Finding a way to walk that line was proving challenging.

Father came in while he was making his selection. He did find it odd Father hadn’t mentioned her to the rest of the family, but it could be that he wished her a more peaceful life. Damian would not disrespect his father’s wishes by bringing her up.

“Damian, we need to talk.”

Damian furrowed his brow, running over what could warrant that tone. He came up empty.

Father did move closer and see he was looking at needles this time. And showed surprised.

“For Okhti Al Kobra,” Damian stated, hoping his father wouldn’t be upset at him recognizing her. He knew now it was better for her to be apart from them, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do what he could to help her protect herself. His older sister deserved better.

Father did freeze at that.

Had Damian displeased him? (He wouldn’t… wouldn’t send him to back. Damian knew that. But that look… it brought back the boy that wondered when he’d be tossed aside by the Great Batman for no longer being a good solider.)

“Father? I know you don’t like to speak of her but.”

“You, you’re getting her needles?” it was a question. He didn’t get why.

“Yes, my last presents seemed inadequate. She has taken to the penknife, but only sometimes. She keeps the Swiss on her sometimes too—haven’t you been keeping an eye on her social media? She posts a disgusting amount. I figured given the boutique it wouldn’t be unacceptable for her to carry needles on her as a weapon and tool in the future, should anyone else discover our connection.”

Bruce stared Damian, waiting for him to finish.

“She does keep the flowers I left her, though she does react oddly. The first time she was very pale.” Looking back, it was likely fear. She was a civilian after all… “However I believe she has come to accept that even with distance, she is still a Bat by blood and as such, should remain vigilant.” Damian hoped his report was adequate.

“She… how old is she?” Father’s tone was softer then. but the question didn’t make any sense.

“Father, you should know how old she is.” Damian waited for the man to respond.

He didn’t.

Damian furrowed his brow. “Father, you do know who she is, right?”

“Ladybug.”

Damian blinked at that. He had no idea who that was, but he knew an alias when he heard one. “She’s a civilian—when did she—”

“Damian.” He stilled at that. “How old is she?”

Damian straightened then. “She was twelve and a half when we first met. She will be sixteen in two weeks.” Damian glanced at his abandoned screen. “She enjoys design.”

“Her, her name.” His father looked… lost.

“I, we don’t revel secret identities?” Damian was a bit lost. Father should know of his sister. They were only two years apart. She was from before his father’s training became serious. He should know of her, at least. And if he didn’t, wasn’t it a betrayal to her if he revealed who she was without her permission? Whenever he tried to visit, she was always elsewhere, and he couldn’t very well show up as Damian Wayne. That would reveal the family and she didn’t need to know that. Didn’t need that burden.

“She knows she’s my daughter.” Father sounded…desperate.

“She knows she is Batman’s. I didn’t reveal your identity, or the family’s.”

“I…”

Damian took a deep breath. He didn’t want to betray his family. Or further hurt his older sister. “I believe that we should speak to her before discussing her identity. It… it should be her choice.”

Father looked pained at that.

“I assume you don’t…” No, father would not know how the first meeting went… right?

Father said nothing before leaving.

Damian wondered if he should visit her sooner. He eyed his cart and got her a set of weaponry needles, knitting, and a set made for seamstresses with small hands. He hoped these were to her liking. Perhaps he should add white heather (Protection) and purple hyacinth (I’m sorry) in addition to the zinnias…. Or just give her two with the zinnias mixed between them, as Damian reasoned the heather and hyacinth wouldn’t looks the best together. Yellow (daily remembrance) and scarlet (constancy) zinnias with heather (protection) and some greenery should be fine, and purple hyacinth (I’m sorry) mixed with magenta (lasting affection) white (goodness) and perhaps a white daffodil (stay as sweet as you are) with a filler of some sort would work well. She accepted his apologies (albeit in flowers) before, and he hoped he had proven he was paying enough attention to her for her to see that he meant it.

He was glad he hadn’t killed her that day.

Now he had research to do to help his sister.

He missed Brown as she slipped out. And completely missed finding out she was messaging Todd, Drake and Cassandra the news: there was a missing Bat into design, goes by Ladybug, and Bruce has no clue what her identity is.

Cass didn’t send anything in response.

Jason stated he would find her before Tim.

Stephanie was just excited for another girl in the group. Little sister in need of help? Count her in—being Spoiler versus being Batgirl was a world of difference. Having a team made it easier, and it shouldn’t be too hard to convince the girl to give it a shot, right?

Thanks for waiting. part three here

tags: @heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06

debating which bat will find her first (in person), so feel free to state any preferences, and thanks for the comments and kudos--it really does help with working this idea out.

#maribat #my writing #my fic #marinette did not sign up for this #how do i tag #long post #bio!dad bruce #sugar not salt #angst #misunderstanding time

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timtimmersdrake · 4 years

Text

Stray Bullet - Tim Drake x Reader

Well, look at this, I’m writing another one. Like I said in my last, this isn’t a regular thing. This is only my second imagine, but you guys seemed to really enjoy the last one so *shrugs* here we go?

Summary: You’ve been struck by a stray bullet as a civilian, and you decide instead of being the damsel, you hide it from Tim. I’m thinking this is set after the Red Robin comics, everyone is alive and Tim is starting to relax after being a tense hero for so long. (Pre-52) Warning for a little blood, not very graphic though.

In retrospect, you should have known it was going to happen eventually. You live in Gotham City after all. You just didn’t expect for it to catch you off guard like this.

You expected immediate medical attention. Maybe a vigilante or two already on the scene.

Not this chaotic.

But when has Gotham ever conformed to the norm? She liked to rear her ugly, unexpected head when it inconvenienced you the most.

And now you’ve been shot.

Stupid Penguin. Stupid underground gun market I’m not even supposed to know about. Stupid me.

Hissing, you leaned up against the brick wall, not daring to look down at the bullet wound. A stray gunshot in the sudden gang fight that had broken out on the street you had been walking on to get to the nearest crossing to summon a taxi home.

Around you everyone was screaming, guns were still firing rounds and you were trying you’re best not to let the panic rise.

Your boyfriend was a vigilante, but dammit, you were not going to be a damsel in distress.

Closing your eyes, you focused on breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose. This proved to be two mistakes, the first being that deep breaths hurt and the second is now your eyes knew the world was spinning and didn’t want to open again.

Do. Not. Panic.

Tim would be here soon, or someone from his family. You just had to be patient…and not lose too much blood while waiting. You would not let them see you as the civilian you were. Tim worried enough as it was, and if he saw you panic he would go berserk. Leaving the apartment the two of you shared alone would never happen again.

Digging into your bag you pulled out your keychain, one that had many gadgets Tim insisted you carried on your person at all times. Fumbling through a flashlight, a portable charger, pepper spray, and the keys you finally grabbed the pocket knife.

I liked this shirt too.

Gritting teeth, you ripped the edge of your camisole, the undershirt tearing with a few tugs; you had a makeshift bandage.

Bullet just grazed my hip, but damn it took a chunk of me with it.

Tying the fabric around your waist as tight as you could stand to keep pressure on it, dizziness took over.

Hands bloody, you reached back into the bag and pulled out your next trick; a bottle of Tylenol. Something to help until Tim could give you something better. Just to hold you till whichever bat would show up.

A bat would show up, right?

The cell phone that had been in your hand when the incident had occurred lay innocently on the ground. Maybe you shouldn’t call him.

Don’t be stupid, he’d want you too.

But you were a big girl, you lived in Gotham. You were dating Tim Drake-Wayne, one of the richest men in the city and also on the top ten most wanted for criminals bartering tool.

It was in the middle of the day, and there wasn’t a cape in sight.

Sucking in the deepest breath you could manage, you resigned yourself to the inevitable solo trip to the hospital. Walking down the alleyway you had slipped down to the next street over, pulling your coat closer so no one could see the blood soaking though, you hailed a cab.

“Where too, miss?”

The driver didn’t even bother to look at you, simply chewed on a toothpick and kept messing with his radio.

Opening your mouth you almost spat out the name of the closest hospital before realizing if your plan was to not call Tim, he would be angrier if you went to the hospital without telling him either.

“Leslie Thompkins Medical Practice, please, the one near crime alley.”

You had only met the woman a handful of times, all of them when Tim had been hurt on his night job and you were visiting. She had been a formidable role-model, caring and loyal. She would have you good as new, and hopefully, if you played your cards right, a certain pretty boy in your life would never know you were there.

Learning long ago that trying to cook dinner for Tim was an unwinnable battle, his schedule too unpredictable, you settled on leaving the take-out menus on the table for when he got home.

You had stolen Tim’s biggest sweater, hiding your frame to the best of your ability, and hopefully the bandage. Tim would find out eventually, but you were aiming to play your cards right enough that it wouldn’t be till long after it had healed to where it didn’t look as bad as it did.

Leslie promised not to say anything; oh how the glorious patient confidentiality had been to your advantage.

The door opened, jerking you from your thoughts as Tim’s voice echoed down the hall.

“Y/N, dear, I’m back!”

Smiling, you inwardly chuckled at the pet name. Tim had liked to use it when he was being sarcastic with you, but eventually, it became a habit.

“You’re back early, what time is it? 10:30?”

Tim entered the living room of your renovated theater apartment, grinning at the sight of you.

“Scandalous,” he commented, coming over to gently tilt your chin up and place a kiss before turning his attention to the scattered menus. “I’m starving, what are you in the mood for?”

Relieved that Tim was adequately distracted from you, you took advantage of the situation.

“You choose,” You smiled. Had it not been for the anesthetic, adrenaline, and pain, you might have been able to give more to the conversation, but you were exhausted.

“Something quick,” Tim stated, rifling through restaurant choices. “Told Dick I’d help him with a lead on a gang turf war going on.”

Spine stiffening, you played it cool.

“Oh? The one involving Penguin’s underground illegal arms trading with Bludhaven?”

Tim nodded, a suddenly serious expression crossing his face.

“I don’t like how close they got to where you work today. Promise me you’ll be careful.”

Ah, there it was. Every person you had ever met that dated a vigilante like you all had the same inevitable experience. The ‘be safe, I’m protecting you I promise’ speech. You hated the fact that Tim meant it so earnestly too, about wanting you to be safe. It made you feel like a helpless damsel in distress all the time.

If I make a fuss, he’ll get suspicious. You reminded yourself.

Instead of grumbling, you opted to nod.

“Of course, you taught me everything I know after all. Pepper spray in hand, phone in other.”

“That reminds me, I need to give you Jason’s new number.”

“Oh? Are we talking to him as part of the family again?” You ask, taking the menu of a small burger joint down the road from his outstretched hand.

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes.

“We’ll see how long it lasts. You know how it is. Jason’s morals have always been questionable and his decisions switch faster than whiplash.”

Humming, you took a seat next to him as he pulled out his laptop. Thankfully, the action made it so he missed the wince of pain you habited.

“Says the guy who broke him out of prison, once.”

Tim didn’t seem to want to get into it.

“You order? I got some W. E. work to jump on while I can.”

Far too used to this routine, you only nod once more.

It was almost too easy to pull your secret under his nose.

He’ll find out eventually, but not tonight.

You managed a week. It wasn’t long, but when you were hiding it from arguably the world’s greatest detective, a week should have earned you a gold medal. Or some more recognition than you were probably going to get.

You just wish it wasn’t the tiny stupid mistake that it was that gave you away.

“Y/N, can I borrow your portable charger?”

“What happened to yours?” You asked, idly scrolling through your phone. “Take it apart again?”

“Damaged in a fight actually,” He smiled sheepishly.

“It’s in my bag,” You answered with a humble roll of your eyes.

He left the living room for a moment, the peaceful calm of Saturday morning blissful once more. You hadn’t even thought twice about letting Tim rummage through your bag when he was marching back into the room dropping it on the coffee table in front of you.

“What the h- “

“Why is there dried blood on your stuff?”

Silence.

Tim had a habit of wiggling his nose when he was upset, something you thought was adorable until you saw the furious eyes behind them. His nose may have been cute, but his eyes were well trained to be terrifying when riled up.

“I didn’t kill someone,” You blurt out in a panic.

Granted that wasn’t your best moment. Of course, Tim didn’t think you murdered someone. Did he?

“Then it’s good that wasn’t my conclusion,” He answered, holding up an orange bottle in his hand instead.

He had found the pain killers. No denying them, your name was printed very clearly.

“What. Happened.”

Shame on anyone who thought Tim couldn’t be intimidating. The boy had been trained around the world by the best, including Lady Shiva. He had picked up tips from the League of Assassins, studied the Council of Spiders. Tim Drake maintained a cool demeanor, but he knew just as well how to be scary without raising his voice.

“It was an accident.”

He didn’t interrupt, but his brows furrowed just a tad more.

“I got shot?”

He gripped the back of the couch, looking away from you for a moment before taking a breath.

“When?”

“Last Friday, on my way home from work.”

You could see the wheels working in his head, running through all the scenarios. Which was more likely, where it had happened, who the culprit could be. It took him only a few seconds before…

“The gang fight, Penguins’ men.”

It wasn’t a question.

You nodded, accepting defeat.

“Stray bullet,” you admitted.

“Did you- “His voice sounded strained. “Did you at least go to the hospital?”

“I went to Leslie,” You sighed, gently prying the pill bottle from his hand. Placing it on the table you watched his face give nothing away to how he was feeling.

“So, you were trying to hide it from me?”

Did you mention your boyfriend wasn’t an idiot?

“I didn’t want to worry you,” You mumbled, playing with the strings of a Gotham University hoodie you had stolen from him a year ago and never given back.

“This is so much worse, where? Where did it get you?”

Finally, he was looking at you again. His face twisted in a mixture of worry and frustration, maybe even a bit of anger still.

Gently, you pulled up the side of your shirt, revealing the angry red stitching that was still in the process of healing. The bandages had been removed a while ago, but you almost wished you still had them on to hide how bad the stitches made the wound look.

“It was just a graze,” You tried to appease him. “I handled it just fine. Leslie said I was lucky. If I take care of it well, the scar won’t even be that bad.”

His thumb gently rubbed over it, analyzing. You wished you were privy to what he was thinking, but he kept them carefully concealed.

“This could have hit a major organ,” He finally breathed.

“It didn’t.”

He frowned.

“Y/N, why didn’t you call me?”

“Because I was fine!” You snapped, picking at your shirt more aggressively, avoiding eye contact. “I didn’t panic. I stayed completely calm; I immediately used my shirt to tie over it. I put pressure on it like you showed me. Then I went to Leslie. There wasn’t anything you could do.”

“Wasn’t anything-There was a million things I could have done! I could have helped. I could have been there! Isn’t that my job?”

Don’t turn this into a fight. Do not turn this into a fight.

“I didn’t want to be the damsel in distress,” You admitted calmly. “For once, I didn’t want to be the girl completely reliant on a superhero swinging in to save her. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Barbara doesn’t need Dick to save her, Stephanie doesn’t need anyone to save her. Neither does Cass, Helena or Kate! I’m the only girl in the family that doesn’t wear spandex.”

Tim was staring at you, apparently surprised.

“But I like the fact you’re not a vigilante.”

You bristled.

“What? You like me being feeble and meek?”

“No!” Tim quickly backtracked. “No, you know that’s not what I mean. It’s just not who you are. That doesn’t mean your anything less. I live with a bunch of them, trust me, dating outside of the job is refreshing. I’m sorry you had the impression that you needed to be. But Y/N, not even we try to tough out a bullet. You should hear Dick, he swears like a sailor for days when he’s been shot.”

You look at him skeptically.

“You guys get shot all the time, but you still don’t baby each other. I want the same treatment.”

“You don’t get shot regularly,” Tim argued. “Allow me to be a little worried. It was your first time, and please, for the sake of my sanity, let it be the last time.”

You look at him.

“What sanity?” You ask innocently.

He blinked, then rolled his eyes.

“Haha,” He came around the couch, wrapping his arms around your waist, far gentler than it had been the past few days. His chin rested on your head.

“You owe me for all the sanity you keep taking when you do things like this. The Office marathon? It’s a tradition whenever one of us gets seriously injured.”

“I’m not seriously-“

He poked your side that wasn’t hurt. You let out a laugh, pulling free.

“Fine! But you have to make popcorn with extra butter.”

“Deal.”

#tim drake x reader #red robin x reader #tim drake #tim drake x you #dc reader imagines #red robin

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dundunny · 3 years

Text

Arkham Knight

Final in the trilogy.

Fuck the Batmobile.

Honestly, if it weren’t for that, this would’ve been the best game in the series. By far. As I was playing Arkham City, I thought I would love this game even more if it were just Gotham in general, and that’s what was delivered here. Really, it’s amazing to see what designers will plan for a completely made-up city. Did you see those bridges with giant statues on it? Or the suspension railways? It didn’t matter if you were up in the air or wandering around the ground, there was so much detail put into Gotham.

But unfortunately there’s the Batmobile. If they hadn’t put so much emphasis on it, I would’ve been fine. Would’ve been cool with chasing after APCs, maybe do a weird racetrack. When it’s required in the dungeons, not so much. At some point I’m standing in front of an elevator, but it’s not working. I had to control the Batmobile to put it up, get out of that mode to step on, go back to the Batmobile to slowly lower it. Same bullshit getting back up. That’s not fun or challenging, just annoying. Also, Deathstroke shows up in this game. You excited for an epic showdown? What if I told you there’s no hand-to-hand combat—which is what he’s known for—but rather you gotta shoot at his tank with the Batmobile?

Speaking of which, I think the Cloudburst fight shot up to my top five most nerve wracking fights of all time. Think of any game that involves sneaking around, like Metal Gear Solid or whatever, and now imagine trying to do that with the fucking Batmobile. What were they thinking?

Plot is the height of the series, hands down. It’s a great exploration of Bruce’s thought patterns and mindset, plus the terrible business with what happened to Jason. The best part is the studio where you see Batman’s guilt and horror, the hilarity of Joker serenading him with spotlights and music, a team up section with Robin, and an amazing plot twist at the end.

What I really did enjoy was the crime scene investigation. It was fun already in Arkham City, but this took it to the next level. It did get to the point of fantastical, but reconstructing what went down really brings home how he’s the world’s greatest detective, which I feel is often forgotten.

This game has Azrael, Poison Ivy, Riddler, Joker, Harley Quinn, Catwoman, Penguin, Deathstroke, Firefly, Deacon Blackfire, Hush, Professor Pyg, Man-Bat, Simon Stagg, Two Face, and Scarecrow, and in the DLC Mr. Freeze, Nyssa and Ra’s al-Ghul, Mad Hatter, Killer Croc, and Black Mask. For once you actually get to fight most of these guys, and it’s fun to bring them back to the police station and see them interact with one another in lockup. Professor Pyg was fucking horrifying and I can imagine being a police officer stumbling over that insanity. And I heartily recommend getting the DLC because each one was fun: fighting in Mad Hatter’s book, uncovering the cruelty in the prison blimp, the bittersweet ending of Victor and Nora Fries, and choose whether to save Ra’s al-Ghul.

Post-game DLC is great too. Particularly of note is Harley’s because it shows her fucking insanity and Red Hood’s just due to the fact he has a gun. I’m spending time trying to slowly punch people as Batgirl and Robin, and I blew through Hood’s chapter because he’s just shooting people in the face.

Riddler’s puzzles I feel were easier in this game, just more annoying. It’s possible I just got more skilled at it after City, but I think they required less finesse and just focused more on using the Batmobile. However, he does have these underground puzzle dungeons, and those admittedly were really fun to figure out.

Also, the rave reviews in City of NPC chatter? It’s back and the writers put in all the effort here. I’m laughing like a maniac as I fly over the city, hearing a rioter mention he needs to wrap it up soon because he has to pick up his kids in the morning. Or militia talking about the mathematics of Two Face and his half faces. Whoever you people are, you’re the ones who carried the series.

Besides the Batmobile, there are smaller complaints: For one, there was no final boss fight. Also, the battle with Jason was a disappointment; for a guy who trained the militia on what steps to take to counteract Batman, he didn’t do any of that shit. I thought this was gonna be two people sneaking around, trying to get the upper hand. There’s a lack of dungeons, but Asylum actually had the most and City and Knight were half of those.

What the hell was Tim’s and Barbara’s romance? That shit was weird, especially since Nightwing was in the picture. And I didn’t mention this in my City review, but Joker’s sudden flirting with Batman in that game was really weird. The dude wasn’t even trying to make a hint of that in Asylum, so why lay it on heavily in City? Mad Hatter starts doing that in Knight, calling Batman his Alice and talking about putting a wig and dress on him. Why bring it out from nowhere?

I think what I feel for this game is disappointment because it should’ve been so amazing, would’ve been so amazing, if the Batmobile weren’t dragging it down. It’s such a shame that they did that. I guess they were proud of everything they programmed and had to roll with it. Otherwise, good job guys.

#batman #arkham knight #rocksteady #game review #video games

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blackbabybird · 3 years

Photo

Forgiven - Chapter 7 - A Body

warnings: bad words, bruce gets handsy ;) two chapters one day. im otb, baby. enjoy as things get heated between my two kiddos!

I was sitting in the Batcave watching Bruce train. Well, more like give me the silent treatment. It had been about 2 days since Batman and I had gone through the whole school fiasco. We soon flew back to Gotham but after take off I created a boomtube to my apartment so I wouldn’t have to talk about what I learned. Understandably, he was upset.

Currently, he was fighting some AIs. They looked closely related to the League of Assassins. He was in a tank top and sweats. There was slight sweat beading up at his hairline. He had been at it for at least 30 minutes now. I was shamelessly ogling. Although if anyone asked, I was studying his movements.

Bruce and I had a...complicated history. Every time we tried to get close, one of us pulls back. Bruce throws three batarangs and the simulation ends effectively.

“Bruce Wayne - Success.” Chimes the Batcomputer.

I watch Bruce walk up the stairs. “What are you doing here?” he asks.

People see Bruce as a lot of things. A lonely orphan, billionaire playboy, even a philantropist. Although, they rarely see him as a man. Even when donning his triple weave kevlar, he was still a man. Men had weaknesses and I knew I was one of his. What I was doing was increasingly selfish, but I knew that he would be upset at me leaving. So I decided to put on something that would give me the benefit of the doubt. Honestly, it was more of a gimmick. Bruce couldn’t be mad at me if I look absolutely stunning.

The short skirt showed off one of my best features, my legs. I had put my curls into a bun with two pieces hanging to frame my face. The shirt was a plain v-neck, but the bra I wore pushed the girls up higher than they were used to. I smile before answering him.

“I’m just here to say hi.”

Bruce just grunts. He sits in the chair across from the Batcomputer. Silent treatment again. You’re not making this easy for me. I slowly saunter up to back of the chair. “Listen, Bruce, I know you’re upset about the school, but I have a really good explanation.”

I decide to test the waters. I let a nail drag down his bicep. The reaction was volatile. With quickness, he shoves me up against the railing across from the Batcomputer, “I’m in no mood for games, Isley,” he grounds out.

Bruce may be the world’s greatest detective, but like I said, he was still just a man. Although the reaction wasn’t what I expected, I used it to my advantage. His blue eyes were swirling anger. I needed to make my move, quickly. I snake one arm around the back of his head. Entangling my fingers into his dark locks. “Good. Because I’m not playing,” I say lowly.

It is like something snaps. The man who has all the will power in the world pulls me in for a bruising kiss.

///

I don’t know what made me do it, but I was glad for it. Her soft pink lips had a tasted delicious and I was hooked. I imagined she would pull off, perhaps even blast me to a separate dimension, but instead she just deepens the kiss. I feel her tongue push against my lips and I’m helpless but to comply.

I drag my hands down her back, toying with zipper on the shortest skirt I’ve seen on her. It was flouncy and showed off what every man wanted. I could barely focus on my training exercise when she entered the cave.

I could feel her cold hands go underneath my shirt. A small moan comes in between us as I finally grab her ass. There’s no room in between us and I wanted to tear her skirt directly off her body. However, the universe consistently has it out for me and pinging comes from the computer. I kiss her harder trying to ignore it.

She pulls away briefly, “You should answer that,” she says breathily.

I just grunt and grab her face to put her delicious lips back on mine. The pinging stops, but it starts up again.

“Incoming Call - Dick Grayson,” chimes the Batcomputer.

I pull off of Isley, our foreheads touching. I wanted to burn the whole damn thing. “Answer it,” says Isley slyly.

I stalk over to computer and click to answer it. “Brucie! My favorite guy!” Dick rings cheerily.

“What do you want?” I growl out.

“Woah there pal. Sounds like I’m interrupting something. Honestly Bruce, you could went ahead and jerked one out before answering. I would’ve understood.” Dick jokes.

“I’m hanging up on you,” I say simply.

“No! Wait, Bruce. You remember you told me about that kid? Uh, Amos? Well they found him.”

I hear Isley come up next me, “Where?” she breathes out.

“Uh, who is that? Oh Bruce, fucking in the cave? That’s a new low, or maybe a high?”

“Unimportant Dick. Where is he?” I ask.

“Well, currently sitting an ice locker here in Blüdhaven. Also, you said he was 13?” Dick asks.

I look at Isley with a raised eyebrow, “He is. Why are you asking, Dick?” Isley speaks.

“I don’t know if your intel is faulty, but the guy matches the file description, but he’s not 13, more like 35.”

I look at Isley again. She begins to flash her eyes white. I could feel the anger surrounding her. “Dick,” I say.

He hums, “We’ll be there soon.”

I hang up before he can say goodbye. “Isley, talk to me. What’s going on?”

She doesn’t say anything to me at first, just creates a boomtube. “You can’t come Bruce. This is a job for Isley, not Batman and Phantom.”

I know she’s right, but the way I feel like I’d do anything for her. I just nod. She steps through the boomtube and it closes with a loud noise.

“Master Bruce, that quite the commotion, everything alright?” Alfred says worriedly.

“I don’t know, Alfred.” I shrug.

“Well, I did make sandwiches for you and Ms. Thomas. Though it seems she is no longer here,” he comments quietly.

Yeah. As always, we’re being separated and this time I have no idea how to help.

#Forgiven #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x poc #batman #batman x you #batman x ofc #babyblackbird writes

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missjosie27 · 4 years

Text

Year 3 Part 11- The Vault of Fear

Hello, friends.

The chapter is nigh upon us. The second vault that David and company has to tackle is here and who knows what's in store...I mean that facetiously of course given we know what happens in the game but even so I hope you all enjoy the action involved as well as my own spin on the game.

As always any feedback, kudos, and comments are well appreciated. I always want to do the characters and the HP universe justice.One more thing I'd like to add. To those who like or consider themselves Slytherin: perception will be changing very soon.

Anyway, on with the story!

Unlike the previous two years where David and company either became distracted with schoolwork, Quidditch, or other pressing matters, this time the vaults were the central focus. Aside from maintaining good marks, it was all that mattered. And this time around, there was actually a formalized, concrete plan being put into action.

The boggarts were still around and causing terror, sparing no one. Fifth and seventh years were becoming increasingly paranoid due to OWLs and NEWTs that were coming up and one’s worst fear popping up randomly while studying certainly didn’t help. The younger students were also quite jumpy and Madam Pomfrey needed an extra stash of calming draughts and chocolate on hand for the amount of people she was receiving into her wing. Chiara stated as much every time the group saw her.

In order to prepare properly several things were being done at once. With the entrance of the vault being at the restricted section it posed a double conundrum. Madam Pince didn’t like even the smallest amount of noise in her library, and to try and break a curse near an off limits area was just the icing on the cake. So Tulip and Tonks began devising ways of distracting the hawkish librarian when the time came. Penny, Rowan, and Ben all lended a hand by researching new spells that could possibly be of use inside the vault though ‘Riddikulus’ was the primary go to. In addition to that, Bill and Barnaby continued in teaching him defensive magic, which turned out to be not as easy as offensive.

“I really need to get better in charms” he remarked one day in early, soggy May while on the training grounds.

“You have to envision the shield in order to get it to full strength,” Bill told him after Barnaby shattered it for the third time in a row. They weren’t dueling technically, but getting hit by wave after wave of knockback jinxes from the powerful Slytherin wasn’t his idea of a good time.

“It worked against Flint,” he muttered, pulling himself back up from the grass and wiping mud off his pants.

“Heat of the moment. You wanted to protect Elora and therefore all gave every ounce of your concentration to it. But not every situation will be like that, the focus must be constant,” Bill explained. “Dueling is often spontaneous.”

Barnaby scratched his head in confusion.

“Is that another word I don’t know? I really should keep a dictionary on hand.”

“A dictionary wouldn’t be a bad idea, big guy,” David said with an encouraging smile.

“Yeah, I had one before but Ismelda stole it,” the big third year Slytherin shrugged. “She does that a lot actually.”

“More to the point,” Bill interjected. “Is that you’re going to run into those two girls at some point again and simply ducking and dodging won’t always work. Merula knows her curses from what I hear and so does Ismelda.”

“Can confirm,” Barnaby nodded. “When you’re the child of Death Eaters, you get taught a lot of spells you probably shouldn’t know at Hogwarts...or ever.”

David knew they were right and prepared himself once more to survive the onslaught of Barnaby’s spells. When the big man fired he again imagined a white shield forming around his person.

“Protego!”

It had the desired effect same as it did with Hadrian Flint. The spell bounced harmlessly off of the shield and back in the other direction, causing Bill and Barnaby to duck.

“That’s more like it,” Bill grinned at him.

Just then a paper message flew out of nowhere, hitting Barnaby in the back of the head.

“Was I expecting mail today?” he asked aloud, picking it up.

“No Barnaby. It’s from Tulip,” David calmly explained. “And from the looks of it, she wants us to meet in my brother’s room tonight after dinner.”

“She wants us to arrive once every fifteen minutes to avoid suspicion from the Professors,” Bill added. “Nice touch. She may be eccentric, but she’s also clever that one.”

“You learn that pretty quickly once you spend as much with her as I have,” David said, crumpling up the piece of paper and setting it afire, to the surprise of his other two companions.

“Can’t have it be discovered by anyone else,” he said with a shrug.

“You’re also a lot a cleverer than you give yourself credit for,” Bill told him.

“I’ll need every ounce to get into this vault,” David said candidly. “We all will.”

Barnaby hadn’t said anything for a moment and he was looking off into the distance, eyes narrowed as though he were trying to make out something from afar.

“You okay, mate?”

“I thought I saw...never mind. I’ll tell you later.”

David and Bill shrugged, content to prepare for the meeting later tonight. Whatever was going on, they’d find out but with time growing short to enter the vault, to be prepared was absolutely essential.

Luckily for them, no one could plan like Tulip Karasu.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Though there were some hiccups, eventually the recently formed ‘cursebreaker’ gang were able to meet without detection and despite the space being a bit crammed, they managed to fit inside well enough. The group consisted of Tulip, Penny, Rowan, Bill, Tonks, Barnaby, Rowan, and David of course.

“Let’s make this quick,” Tulip said to them all. “We don’t want the professors to think anything’s amiss.”

“Why couldn’t we have done this in the Great Hall?” Penny asked, giving a sideways glance. “I’m getting kind of claustrophobic in here.”

“Can’t risk people getting suspicious seeing the lot of us together,” Bill pointed out. “Think about it, there’s representatives from all four houses in this group of ours now. It's like the opening line of a joke.”

“What’s the punchline?” Barnaby asked with excitement.

“Snape or Filch walking in on all of us here,” David muttered. “Anyway let’s get down to it. Tulip, shall you go first?”

“With pleasure.”

The Ravenclaw laid out a piece of paper on one of the desks as the teens gathered around it in a circle.

“Alright so this is a diagram of the library. The entrance to the Restricted Section is here, the first left off to the side. We’ll need to distract Madam Pince long enough to enter it and break the curse on the vault. Part one is Bill.”

“I have prefect duty that night,” he explained. “I’ll give you cover after hours.”

“Second comes the distraction: Rowan and Penny, you’re among the students Pince despises the least. Tonks...you’re among the most. The first two will convince that loony librarian to help them find extra books for studying exams. Then, Tonks will cause a commotion.”

“It’s what I do best,” the metamorphagus grinned.

“I fear having my library privileges revoked,” Rowan said with slight apprehension. “But I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

David smiled and clasped his best friend on the shoulder in a show of support.

“I know, mate. Thank you.”

Tulip continued on shifting her finger towards the entrance.

“Once Pince is sufficiently occupied we enter the Restricted Section, go into the vault, break the curse and we’re done.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Penny chimed in. “What if it takes longer than the last time to break the curse?”

“It’s a risk we have to take, Penny,” David told her. “If we don’t, these boggarts are never going away and the entire population of this school will become too frightened to do anything.”

“There’s one thing I don’t get,” Tonks stated. “Plenty of older students have entered the restricted section this year but they don’t see any cursed vault.”

“That’s because they don’t have the proper key to get inside. In the first vault, I found a blank book and my brother’s broken wand. I’m willing to bet five hundred galleons you need at least one of them to get inside,” the third year Gryffindor explained.

“There’s no telling what’s inside,” Bill said to the group, being one of three who had actually gone inside of a vault. “We had to fight an ice knight last year, so who knows what’s in store for us this year. But whatever it is, I have full confidence we can beat it.”

There were murmurs of agreement but not before Barnaby interjected with something they all missed.

“We have to be careful of Merula,” he said in his quiet baritone. “I’m not the brightest bloke in the world, but I know she’s been following us around for the past month or so. Same with Ismelda. She’s going to try and get into the vault before we do.”

“Merula’s clever but even she can’t take on all of us,” Tulip pointed out.

“That won’t stop her from trying,” David said, shaking his head. “If it comes to that, I’ll deal with her personally. When it comes to dueling Merula and Ismelda I have a fair bit of experience.”

Barnaby nodded, cracking his knuckles.

“So do I. You can count on me, Dave. They won’t touch you.”

“It’s settled then,” David announced. “We all know what to do and what the plan is. The only other question is when we should attempt this.”

“I’m glad you asked David Grant,” Tulip said, her trademark mischievous smirk growing wider. “As it so happens I have the perfect date in mind.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Friday, June 5th, 1987.

That was the date Tulip chose and with good reason. She had it on good authority (meaning she somehow pinched the information from Head Boy Chester Davies) that there was to be a staff meeting that day led by Professor McGonagall since Dumbledore was currently off elsewhere. It was the second time in the last two years the greatest wizard of the age inexplicably vanished out of nowhere but it also brought about the perfect timing to enter the vault.

Despite being far more prepared than the spontaneous undertaking the previous year to save the school from cursed ice, David couldn’t deny his nerves were not completely settled. If his parents found out he had gone into another cursed vault they would go ballistic and there was no telling what Dumbledore’s reaction would be considering his warning at the beginning of the year.

However, his daring and sense of family overrode any apprehension still lurking underneath the surface. He was not one to back down in the face of a challenge, and in private moments, allowed himself to remember the reasons for pursuing these vaults in the first place: not for glory or gold but his brother. He could see Jacob’s twinkling blue eyes stare back at him whenever questions abounded or sought to know what he was up to. At the time it was maddening, now he would do anything to witness them again.

David repeated that to himself upon the night their plan was to go into action. It was nearly 8 pm and the doors of the library were to shut soon. Bill led the way but Tulip could sense something was off (Barnaby simply munched on some left over crisps he found in his back pocket).

“Something wrong, David Grant?”

“You wouldn’t be asking if there wasn’t.”

“Touche,” she responded in kind. “Do you feel you’re ready?”

“That’s not the problem. We’re as ready as we ever could be. But…”

“But?”

“Jacob,” David admitted, and he was not keen on doing so. “I just...miss him. That’s the only reason why I do this.”

Tulip took this in, kind understanding enveloping her features.

“For someone who uses his brother as the primary motivation for these vaults, you don’t talk about him much.”

“It’s better that I don’t. Talking about Jacob is...difficult to say the least.”

Tulip reached over and gave his hand a soft squeeze, David noticed she had a very nice smelling perfume on and he resisted the urge to blush.

“You don’t have to say more. What we do tonight is another step towards finding him. Do you at least trust us?”

The third year Gryffindor nodded in the affirmative.

“If it’s one thing I’ve learned is that you need those closest to you by your side in situations like these,” he said, echoing Hagrid. “I’ve prepared as much as I can, I have my friends with me...it’s time.”

Tulip beamed at him, a bright smile crossing her porcelain features.

“This is why you’re our leader, David. Bill may be older and I might have a thing for chaotic planning, but make no mistake everyone in our group follows you. Your brother would be proud.”

He didn’t say anything more, he didn’t need to. Hazel blue eyes silently thanked dark brown ones as a growing friendship cemented itself in that moment. But there was little time to reflect on it as they soon came upon the corridor leading to the library.

“Alright, this is it,” Bill whispered to them. “I’ll be patrolling the corridors doing my duty as though nothing is out of the ordinary and I’ll give the signal if Filch or any of the teachers come by. Good luck.”

“Thanks, Bill,” David said, shaking the fifth year’s hand. He, Tulip, and Barnaby then silently approached the oak, library doors, careful not to let Madam Pince detect them just yet.

“Penny, Rowan, and Tonks will already be inside. Once they see us enter, they’ll know what to do,” Tulip affirmed. “It’s five minutes until eight.”

“Let’s do this.”

Barnaby belched causing his two friends to give him less than thrilled stares.

“Sorry...what Dave said.”

“Right. Come on then.”

Upon entering the library, Madam Pince saw them immediately, leapt up from her chair, no doubt to tell them that the library was practically closed. However, sitting at one of the middle tables right by her desk were Penny and Rowan and key to the plan they immediately intercepted her.

“Madam Pince we’re sorry to bother you, but could you help us with something?”

“I’m sorry I-”

“It won’t take long, we promise,” Penny said innocently. “We just need help finding a certain section…”

“About hippogriffs. Professor Kettleburn said they might be on the upcoming exam. Do you know where that section is?”

Pince narrowed her hawk like eyes suspiciously.

“Why do you need my help of all people, Mr. Khanna?”

Luckily Penny saved the day from Rowan’s potential bad lie.

“Neither have us have had to study creatures before. At least not for an exam and it’s crucial we get high marks.”

Sighing, the librarian relented.

“You two are the least troublesome students I have to deal with. I will show you but be quick. The library is closing in five minutes.”

“Yes, Madam Pince.”

When the three were out of sight, David, Tulip, and Barnaby scampered off and made a hard left straight to the edge of the Restricted Section.

“Nice touch by Rowan, by the way,” Tulip remarked quietly. “The Magical Creatures section is all the way in the back. Gives us more time.”

“They can’t hold her off forever,” David said. “Pince is like a Swiss watch. Always closes precisely at eight.”

“And that’s where Tonks comes in with the dungbomb. Starting right...about….”

There was a colossal boom in the background and vast amounts of shrieking in the distance.

“...now.”

“I’m very glad I wasn’t around for that,” Barnaby remarked. “I didn’t want to have to take another bath to get rid of the dungbomb smell. No one would sit next to me for days.”

“Well let’s just hope Tonks isn’t permanently given detention for that little stunt,” David said dryly.

“She’ll have company believe me,” Tulip said with a wink. “Anyway let’s get going.”

There was a lock on the Restricted Section but just as they were about to use ‘Alohomora’ a familiar, unpleasant sneer rang out from behind them.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the gang of traitors and losers. Following me again, Grant?”

Clenching his jaw, David let out a sigh. He knew that Merula was likely going to make an appearance before this was over but that didn’t mean he liked that prospect. He turned around and saw his nemesis alongside Ismelda, looking at them with vindictive expressions.

“More like the other way around,” he quipped. “You’ve been stalking us for over a month, Merula don’t even deny it.”

“How perceptive,” Merula said, rolling her eyes. “Now step aside or else.”

“These ultimatums are quite droll really,” David shot back. “What do you even want with these vaults anyway? Power? Glory? Money?”

“One can never have enough. Better reasons than yours anyway.”

“I just want to watch you all bleed,” Ismelda said, narrowing her visible, gray eye, mouth twisting into a venomous smile.

“That’s not creepy at all,” Tulip remarked disgustedly.

“Enough!” Barnaby boomed suddenly, causing everyone around him to jump. He stepped forward, rolling up his sleeves, taking out his wand menacingly. “Walk out the door before I knock both of you through a wall.”

But Merula appeared unconcerned for the moment as she regarded him in a lowly manner.

“Barnaby, you idiot. You can’t fight me.”

“It’s my job to fight you!” he yelled before looking over to David. “Isn’t it?”

Taking center stage, David placed a calm hand on his burly friend’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Barnaby. I’m the one Merula wants, I’ll handle it.”

He took out his wand and pointed it directly at her heart.

“I’m tired of fighting you all the time, Merula,” he said bluntly. “This is going to be settled once and for all. Right here. Right now.”

“Fine by me, Grant,” the Slytherin girl spat. “I’m going to enjoy seeing you on the ground begging for mercy.”

As David prepared for the battle, Tulip whispered in his ear.

“We can’t have a prolonged duel in the library. Pince will go bonkers and we’ll never get inside of the vault in time.”

“I don’t intend for this to take long,” he said back.

Indeed, his desire was to make this latest chapter in their rivalry a short one. Time was of the essence and frankly he wasn’t in the mood to make sarcastic remarks anymore. The vault, his brother, was the only thing that mattered.

I know the shield charm and she probably doesn’t. Let’s see what I can do

“Come on, Merula,” he goaded her. “Give me what you always promise: a real fight. Make mummy and daddy proud.”

It was a low blow and he knew it, but the taunting had the desired effect. Lavender eyes alight with rage, Merula immediately fired off a curse straight at his heart.

“Protego!”

Summoning all of his concentration, the shield held and it absorbed the spell. This only served to infuriate the Slytherin girl further as she fired off yet another spell.

“Revengula!”

David blocked it again, as the curse ricocheted off the shield charm almost hitting Merula in the face forcing her to duck to avoid it. Seizing the opportunity, he dropped his defense and slashed out with his wand.

“Confringo!”

The blasting hex caught Merula squarely in the stomach, sending her down to her knees in obvious pain.

“It isn’t fair!” she wheezed. “You...you always win!”

“Hurts doesn't it?” David said, failing to hide the contempt in his voice. “Both figuratively and literally.”

“Fuck you!” she tore at him. “I’m the most powerful witch at Hogwarts! This is-”

“-done,” he finished for her. “Do whatever you want Merula, but our battle is finished.”

He turned his back to her which would prove to be a mistake. Ismelda, not even bothering to help her ‘friend’, stepped in and gave a nasty leer.

“Finished? I haven’t even started!”

Whipping out her wand she quickly fired off a spell.

“Everte Statum!”

Unfortunately for David, he knew there was no time to turn around and avoid the projectile. But at the last second, Barnaby dove in front of him absorbing the hit and was sent back into the door with a heavy slam.

“Barnaby!” he cried out.

But he need not have worried. The Slytherin’s bulk and toughness shined as he was back up on his feet almost immediately, wand out.

“I don’t think so,” he said, though his voice gave away he was still in a significant amount of discomfort. By now Merula was back on her feet but Ismelda surprisingly looked shocked and almost ashamed.

“Get out of the way you glorified troll!” Merula screeched at him.

“No,” came the simple defiance. “I don’t take orders from you anymore.”

“Then...you can suffer with your new friends!” Ismelda growled at him but there was a tear running down her visible eye as she said it.

“Mate, let’s go,” David said, tugging on his arm. He did not want to leave him behind

“No. Go while I’ll hold them off. That was the plan, remember?”

“Good on him for remembering,” Tulip muttered. “You heard him, get inside the Restricted Section.”

Dodging a stinging hex sent by Ismelda, Barnaby began to duel his former companions as David unlocked the door, allowing for just enough time for him and Tulip to slip inside.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Upon catching their breaths, David and Tulip looked at each other knowing they were fortunate to escape without being discovered by Pince or maimed by the Slytherin girls who also sought the vaults.

“I still question why you were ever friends with her,” he said to the Ravenclaw girl.

“In fairness, you did taunt her about her parents.”

Tulip’s gaze held a slight touch of disapproval which in turn created a pang of guilt inside of his heart.

“I’m not proud of that. But it was the only method I could think of so she’d overreact and leave herself wide open.”

“We’ll talk more on it later,” Tulip said. “Right now we have to search for the vault.”

To find a vault inside a darkened, macabre place such as the Restricted Section would not be easy. The shelves were high, the atmosphere off putting, and there was a sense something evil was ever present inside each book. The two teens needed the brightest ‘lumos’ they could conjure simply to see.

“I’m thankful we don’t have to actually open these books,” David said in disgust as he scanned the titles. “Some of this stuff looks bloody nasty.”

“They don’t call it the ‘Restricted Section’ for nothing,” came Tulip’s response from over his shoulder. “We’re surrounded by forbidden spells, explosive potions, and dangerous secrets. I know you don’t think much of those two Slytherin girls but I doubt even they know a fraction of the dark magic inside here.”

“Kind of fitting then to have the vault of fear inside, isn’t it? Everyone fears dark magic, even some of those who practice it.”

After five minutes of scouring the shelves, David stopped, realizing that they were going about this the wrong way.

“This vault is like the one in the iced vault,” he stated to Tulip. “It’s not going to reveal itself willingly. My brother’s notebook said this book will help locate the entrance.”

“How so?”

Just then the door creaked open to reveal a massive hulking figure that only could have been Barnaby.

“Merlin, big guy. We almost hexed you,” David told him, lowering the lit tip of his wand.

“I managed to fight off Merula and Ismelda,” he announced, rubbing his shoulder a little bit. “But if I know them, they’ll be running off to Snape.”

“Then it’s now or never,” Tulip proclaimed. “David, that book has to reveal the location somehow.”

“But it’s completely blank,” he replied, drawing his hand through his dark brown hair. Then something caught his eye. “Unless…”

To his right he spotted an inky black spot on one of the shelves, indicating it was empty.

I wonder

Taking out the book, David didn’t bother to open it up. Instead, he walked forward and placed it in the empty slot, which fit like a glove. Upon doing so, three columns of shelves raised themselves into the air and out of sight to reveal a large oak and steel door, twenty feet high. And unlike the entrance to the Restricted Section, there was no lock or key slot.

“You did it, David!” Tulip exclaimed excitedly.

“I wish placing books on shelves did that more often,” Barnaby said, placing his wand in his pocket.

“Don’t put that away yet,” David warned. “We still have no idea what this vault holds. Let’s go.”

“We’re right behind you,” the eccentric Ravenclaw affirmed.

The third year Gryffindor pressed against the wood and steel and sure enough the door opened with an ominous creak. No words needed to be spoken as the trio stepped inside awaiting the wonders and horrors of the Vault of Fear. Upon doing so, they were greeted by a grisly scene. Though the overall schematics and layout of the room did not differ all that much from the ice vault, there was a key difference that was unmistakable. All around the greenish colored illuminated walls were the shadows and silhouettes of fearsome creatures: vampires, werewolves, dementors, dragons, and much more. At the center was another column which no doubt hid some kind of treasure or information inside.

It was all quite unsettling.

“Ummm did the other vault look like this?” Tulip asked, clearly perturbed.

“Yes but...no,” David responded. “It wasn’t quite so horrifying. Whatever curse is in here I don’t think it’s been broken.”

All of a sudden a cold, high whisper uttered the word, “Nox.”

The lights began to dim and this time it was Barnaby who grabbed onto his shoulder fearfully.

“I’d recognize that voice anywhere...You Know Who.”

“Maybe we should say our fears out loud,” Tulip suggested. “Maybe that’s what the vault wants us to do.”

“Come on, there’s no way You Know Who is in here,” David dismissed out of hand even as the lights continued to dim. “That tosser is dead in case anyone has forgotten.”

But as though the vault were trying to prove him wrong, the entire room went entirely black, as though the curtain of midnight drew down upon them with an evil vengeance...except this wasn’t a normal darkness it was more of an...advanced darkness. Either way, David figured even his strongest lighting charm wouldn’t do much good in here.

At first there was dead silence, save for the sound of breathing coming from the three teens. He could feel Barnaby and Tulip’s presence around him but an underlying shadow seemed to everywhere around them. As though they were being watched.

There’s nothing to fear, he thought to himself. Stay calm. Stay ready for anything

Suddenly, the room was alight with an ominous, mucus colored, green glow except the silhouettes, column, and statues were now gone. Only the haze remained and it was highly disorienting.

“What the hell is this?” Tulip asked aloud, the fear evident in her voice.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“It looks like the inside of someone’s nose,” Barnaby observed.

They had no more time to reflect on the situation as out of nowhere, a figure stepped into the greenish gloom. Only it was impossible.

“No,” David whispered.

There he was, his brother, Jacob Grant, the one he remembered. Long brown hair, leather jacket, biker pants, black boots, mid height and average build. Except this wasn’t Jacob. It couldn’t be. For one thing his eyes were scarlet red and there was a nasty, evil smile playing around the edges of his mouth.

“Fancy seeing you here, little brother,” came the evil version of Jacon in an unpleasant guttural tone.

“You’re not my brother,” David said sharply, pointing his wand just in case the fiend attacked.

“Oh but I am,” the evil Jacob replied. “I am what you have made. Mum and Dad may deny it but we all know the truth...it’s your fault I disappeared.”

“No!” David shouted, feeling his wits being overcome by the fear.

“YES!” the fiend roared. “See what you have made! See the man I have become...and who I joined!!”

Slowly but surely Jacob’s features began to transform, stretching in height, skin becoming paler, clothes morphing into simple black robes, but all with the same scarlet, red eyes.

“You Know Who,” he breathed out.

Barnaby was so frightened he was practically petrified with fright, Tulip was as white as a ghost hardly daring to move or say anything.

“I know your heart David Grant,” a cold voice spoke out. “And it is mine. Same as it was with your brother.”

Swallowing, the cursbreaker stepped forward, doing his best to keep his composure.

“You’re not real,” he said, voice trembling ever so slightly. “You Know Who is dead, killed at the hands of a bloody infant.”

But the boggart Voldemort only laughed, high and terrible.

“Fool, I am very much alive. Inside the hearts and minds of lesser men...including your precious brother. That is why he served me. And still does.”

“Jacob did not join you!” he shouted back.

It sounded more like a little boy in denial than a strong, confident young man and that’s exactly how David felt. He so desperately wanted to believe that his brother didn’t go mad and join the ranks of the Death Eaters, but the truth was he had no real idea. That was his greatest fear: that the fault for his brother’s waywardness lay with him.

“All will serve,” the boggart Voldemort spoke harshly, gesturing behind him. ��Or all will die. Just as your friends will now.”

David turned and saw that Tulip and Barnaby were now being held in tight headlocks by two other carbon copies of the Dark Lord, each one with the same evil sneer, wands at their necks.

“Tulip! Barnaby!”

Struggle as they might, his two newfound friends could not break free.

“Let them go!” he demanded of the Dark Lord.

“David Grant!” Tulip interrupted through the madness. “Listen to me. You know none of this is real….he isn’t real. Remember that whatever that illusion says is fear...and only fear.”

“Enough!” Voldemort screeched. Immediately, the two clones vanished alongside their victims in a puff of smoke, leaving David alone to face his demons.

The boggart advanced on him, wand pointing directly at his heart...he knew it was a boggart after all but it may as well have been the real thing. Everything about this situation terrified him to the soul. Legs were shaking, his wand arm trembling wildly and sweat poured from the forehead. Above all, despair threatened to overwhelm what little fortitude still remained.

“The girl lies,” came the cold hiss of Voldemort. “This is no illusion. It is merely what you already know to be true. Your brother is lost and I am in control of all you hold dear in this world. Kneel before me...or die.”

David slowly began to kneel, anxiety completely overtaking him. There was no other choice...Tulip and Barnaby were gone...Dumbledore was gone...his parents were gone. It was all his fault. The black pit of guilt and fear had won.

I’m sorry Jacob

“That’s it...kneel.”

I’m not like you

“Know your failure.”

I never was

Just as he was an inch from the ground, a familiar, gentle voice whispered inside his mind.

Pip

“Jacob?” he asked aloud.

Fight it, Pip. It is already inside you. The strength to carry on. To find me. You are my little brother...always

His knees stopped just before they touched the ground and slowly he began to rise, confusing the boggart Voldemort.

“What is this? You dare defy the Dark Lord?!” the fiend screeched at him.

Eyes determined and his feet square, David aimed his wand at the fake Voldemort. He’d had just about enough of this godforsaken vault.

“You are not the Dark Lord….you are not my brother….you do not hold power over me. I do not fear you.”

“Then you will die! Avada Ked-”

“Riddikulus!” David cut him off.

Immediately the boggart Voldemort ballooned outward rapidly gaining weight until he was totally obese. Instead of a wand was a bag of crisps and a large soda. Certainly not frightening to anyone or anything.

David began laughing, as though an enormous burden was lifted off his shoulders, his body felt as if it were as light as a feather. Crying out in agony, the boggart soon disappeared in a puff of white smoke.

Then everything went black once more.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He was still laughing when he came to.

“David? David Grant?”

The cursebreaker immediately turned around and saw Tulip and Barnaby standing there looking at him with expressions of concern.

“Was there a joke? Did I miss it?” Barnaby asked.

“No, I mean...wait what happened? You guys are okay?”

“We’re fine. But it’s better to ask you that question. You were frozen in midair like a puppet for what seemed like ages,” Tulip explained.

“Then you started laughing,” Barnaby added. “I still missed the joke.”

“The joke was the boggart trying to screw with my head,” David responded though he still felt a tad disoriented from the ordeal. “What’s the current situation?”

“I have no idea if the curse is broken or not but we need to get out of this room,” Tulip told him. “Who knows how long we’ve been in here.”

David looked around the macabre, gruesome room. He too was eager to leave this place and never look back. But he couldn’t, not yet at least.

“We still haven’t found what we came here for,” he replied.

“But we defeated the boggarts. Wasn’t that the whole point?”

“You weren’t there for the last vault,” David said, glancing towards the column in the center of the room. “There’s something inside of here and we have to open it.”

He moved forward, touched the column but nothing happened.

“It opened merely at me placing my hand on it the last time,” he said, confused.

Tulip too moved closer, leaned over and began sounding something out.

“There’s an inscription here at the bottom: To open, a wizard must make the ultimate sacrifice.”

“Does that mean you have to die in order to open it?” Barnaby asked. “Because I don’t want to do that.”

For the second time that night, realization dawned on David as he felt the broken wand inside of his pocket. The thought that came to mind was possibly crazy or ridiculous...but it also might be their ticket to what lay inside and getting out of the vault.

“Perhaps it doesn’t mean death…” he said slowly. “Maybe it means something else...like giving up magic.”

He pulled out the broken wand and showed it to his friends.

“Jacob understood. I thought his wand was broken after he was expelled, but what if he purposefully broke it himself to open this vault?”

Tulip nodded understanding there was little other choice.

“Try it.”

David did so, pressing the pieces against the column and this time it had the desired effect. With the sound of whirring wheels and gadgets the column sunk into the ground to reveal two objects inside, which he took. One of which was a map of some kind with the letter ‘R’ on the top left corner, the other looked like a busted arrowhead. Then he realized what the map was.

“I can’t believe that worked! You really are full of surprises aren’t you, David Grant,” Tulip beamed at him. “What did you find?”

David showed them.

“A map of the Forbidden Forest and a broken arrow.”

“Is that where the next vault is?” Barnaby asked with budding curiosity.

“No idea, but I say we heed our Ravenclaw friend in getting the hell out of here before Pince or someone worse comes along.”

Tulip nodded, again giving his hand a soft squeeze but this time she didn’t let go, again causing him to blush.

“I agree. We’ll work it out later. Let’s go.”

David didn’t say a word as they left the library (which was dark and showed no signs of Pince thankfully) nor when they were forced to diverge, not even when Tulip hugged him good night. He was quite tired and needed rest.

The questions resulting in this latest adventure could wait for awhile

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anistarrose · 4 years

Text

Fear The Reaper A Lot, Actually - Chapter 2

AO3

Chapter Summary: Angus tries to cope with the pressure. Taako does some sick stunts. Barry is exposed as a cryptid of the necromancy community.

Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos

Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz

“Where are you all going?” Lucretia asked, just as Taako opened the door to the glass sphere the next morning.

“Oh, me? I’m off to give lil’ Ango McDango here some magic lessons!” he fibbed. “Figured Wave Echo Cave would be a nice low-level experience for him to learn the ropes — unless there’s any other murder gloves still down there that we should know about?”

“No — at least not to my knowledge, but…” Lucretia narrowed her eyes. “Why are Magnus and Merle going with you?”

“They also need magic lessons.”

Lucretia frowned. “Merle’s already an accomplished cleric…”

“Yeah, ostensibly,” Taako replied. “But have you ever actually seen him heal?”

“Hey!” Merle shouted from inside the sphere. “I banished a whole bunch of ghosts yesterday, and that’s a cleric thing, isn’t it?”

He frowned. “Is it a cleric thing? I could’ve sworn Pan helped me…”

“It’s absolutely a cleric thing, sir,” Angus assured him, and Merle sighed with relief.

Lucretia shook her head. “Alright, point taken. Just be sure to keep an eye out for the Red Robes — I don’t want anything happening to you all, especially not now when we’re getting so close to collecting all the Relics…”

“It’s okay, Director, you can admit that you’ve grown fond of our dumb shenanigans!” Magnus chimed in from his seat next to Merle.

As Taako climbed into the sphere and Avi aims the cannon, Lucretia smiled sadly. “Yes, that too…”

***

“Was this cave so… for lack of a better phrase, squelchy when you came here last, sirs?” Angus asked as Magnus led the way through the tunnel, axe gleaming from a Light spell just like old times.

“Oh, it was plenty squelchy,” Magnus replied with a grimace. “Squelched all the way to the elevator.”

“It was really more of a splort than a squelch last time,” Merle said. “Still not pleasant, though.”

“I know how to lighten up this squelchy mood!” Taako spoke up. He was holding the Umbra Staff over his head, deflecting the drops of water and occasional fist sized blops of slime that fell from the stalactite-dotted ceiling. “Agnes, prestidigitate up some sparks. I wanna see what arcane skills of your own you’ve got before I start teaching you that Taako-brand magic.”

Angus blinked. “But I thought the magic lessons were… a clever ruse. A cover story.”

“Yeah, but the ruse will get a whole lot cleverer if you actually have some new spells to show for it, you know? Unless you really don’t wanna to learn for some reason —”

“No! I mean, yes! I mean —” Angus took a breath. “I would very much like to learn magic from you, sir. Even if it is just to help you lie to your boss.”

“Are you really gonna teach Merle healing, too?” Magnus asked, shrugging off the gentle elbowing he received from Merle.

“Do I look like I know how to heal? I can brew up a nice soothing tea to help a sore throat and that’s about it! Merle’s Healing Words are between him and the big satyr in the sky.” Taako turned to Angus. “Don’t be shy! Show me what you can do, and even if you mess up, I’ll make sure these goobers only bully you really mildly.”

Angus took a deep breath and closed his eyes, imagining sparks flying from his fingers. Grandpa always said that you’d make a good wizard one day. Time to prove him right, and to prove to Taako that I’ll be worth teaching even after he’s done lying to the Director…

“Whoa!” he heard Magnus gasp, and he opened his eyes. Tiny yellow stars burst in and out of existence in small clouds around his hands, fading as his concentration was broken.

“Hey, that’s pretty good for a first attempt! Wanna be our new cleric?” Taako asked him, earning a grumpy look from Merle. “I’m just kidding. But seriously, have you ever done this before?”

“Not at all, sir. Was it really that good for a first try?”

“Kid, you’re a natural!” Taako reached over and patted Angus’s cap. “Forget the cleric jokes — when I get my soul reaped, I know who the Bureau’s gonna hire as the replacement wizard!”

The proud smile vanished from Angus’s face as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by wide eyes and a quivering lip.

“What’s wrong, Ango?” Magnus asked. “Taako’s just joking — you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I definitely don’t plan on dying and leaving you in my place,” Taako added. “Taako is irreplaceable!”

“I know you’re joking, sir,” Angus told him. “But what I can’t understand is how you can joke about something like that…”

Taako kneeled down next to Angus, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Why, it’s ‘cause I’ve got the world’s greatest detective on my side, of course! I know we’ll find those liches and survive with our souls unreaped, because there’s no one better for the job than you are! So don’t look so glum — the four of us have got nothing to worry about.”

The sentiment was sincere, Angus could tell, which was a rare thing coming from Taako — but it had the opposite of the intended effect, and Angus’s stomach churned.

“You’re p-putting an awful lot of faith into me, s-sir —” he stammered, but he was interrupted as Magnus clapped hands over both Angus and Taako’s mouths.

“Shh!” he hushed them. “Did you hear that?”

“Sounded squelchy, just like everything else in the whole damn cave,” Merle whispered back. “Not at all like undead bones rattling.”

“But maybe squelchy like flesh being reanimated!” Magnus exclaimed in a hushed voice. “Ugh, Taako, did you just lick my hand?”

“I stuck out my tongue on reflex, ‘cause what you just said was gross as hell!” Taako replied, as Magnus wiped off the palm of his hand on a patch of moss growing up the wall of the cave. “Please don’t use any onomatopeia in a sentence with the world ‘flesh’ ever again!”

Angus cupped a a hand around his ear. “Sirs, I’m definitely hearing some non-squelchy voices from down the corridor. Is that also normal for this cave?”

“Must be someone in the main chamber,” Merle said. “Maybe it’s the ghosts of my dead cousins, or —”

He froze. “Hey, Maggie? I’d step away from that moss before —”

Magnus jumped back just in time to doge a gelatinous green arm that burst out of the moss-covered wall, swiping furiously at him. A shoulder and then an entire torso oozed out after it, followed by a head sporting a familiar pointed hat and elfin ears.

“Watch where you wipe my spit next time!” Taako shouted, pointing the Umbra Staff at his slimy doppelganger.

“Then don’t slobber on my hand next time!” Magnus yelled back, drawing Railsplitter.

“Just kill it already to make sure there is a next time for us!” Merle exclaimed. “Kill it with fire!”

Taako fired off a barrage of Scorching Rays, but the moss monster’s arm elongated into a gelatinous Umbra Staff of its own. A putrid-smelling bubble of acid grew from the end of it, and when Taako’s bolts of fire struck it with a hiss, it burst to release a cloud of acrid purple fumes that quickly filled the hallway.

Coughing and cowering behind Magnus, Merle extended his soulwood arm towards the slime construct as he cast Detect Magic. “That’s no moss! It’s got necromantic energy coming out of all its sporophytes!”

“Spor-o-phytes, is that a horny thing? That sounds like a horny thing,” Magnus grunted, fanning the air in front of him. “Not in front of the kid, Merle!”

“Forget about what you should or shouldn’t say in front of me!” Angus yelled, voice muffled as he held his cap over his nose and mouth. “Let’s just get out of here!”

“Got it!” Magnus stashed Railsplitter away, and scooped up Angus in one arm and Merle in the other as he sprinted down the hallway.

Taako followed in hot pursuit, summoning a wind to blast the fumes back in the opposite direction. His doppelganger faltered for a moment in the force of the gust, as drops of slime blew off its body and splattered across the walls, but as the wind subsided, it slowly oozed back together and began to follow the boys, gliding across the floor on a thin layer of liquid.

Magnus burst into the cave’s main chamber and jumped onto the elevator, setting Merle and Angus down as he began to crank the pulley. Merle extended a hand to Taako, who scampered aboard at the last minute before it began to descend.

“Phew,” he muttered, wiping a few drops of slime off his brow. “That was a close one!”

“Uh, sirs? I’m not sure we’re out of the woods yet.” Angus pointed towards the pool at the center of the cave, on top of which a massive pile of soft green moss was growing. Standing around it were three hooded figures, watching the adventurers intently. “We’ve got company.”

“You do indeed!” the tallest of the figures called out. “I thought I heard several someones bickering in the halls!”

“Unlike Chad, who insisted it was just the normal ambient sounds of the cave!” the second-tallest figure added.

The final and shortest figure, presumably Chad, crossed his arms and neglected to respond.

“You guys are necromancers, right?” Magnus asked as the elevator reached the bottom floor. “You ever meet a lich named Barry Bluejeans?”

“A lich?” Chad skeptically tilted his head, which was barely even perceptible beneath the folds of his robe. “The only Barry Bluejeans I know wasn’t a lich — he cheated me out of a whole stack of eldritch tomes in a dice game, and then told me after he’d won that he didn’t even know how to do necromancy! I did an Insight check and everything, and he wasn’t lying!”

“Your Insight bonus stinks, Chad!” the medium-height figure snapped. “The only time I ran into Barry Bluejeans, I got blackout drunk with him at a dark magic convention and when I woke up, he was gone and the Grim Reaper was there arresting the rest of us! Obviously, I got away despite my hangover, but Barry sure wasn’t any help!”

“Okay, that one actually checks out for Barry,” said Taako. “Agnes, jot that down.”

“I, too, have unfortunately crossed paths with this Barry Bluejeans,” the tallest necromancer spoke up. “I had just called forth my army of man-eating cactus homunculi to raze a nearby village, but then Barry foolishly threw himself in their path! The ridiculous amount of denim he was wearing didn’t save him, but he bought the townsfolk enough time to escape before he died, and now I’m banned from every desert in Faerun!”

“Dying unceremoniously also sounds like Barry,” said Merle. “Jot that down too.”

Angus clicked his pen. “This is all very strange, isn’t it? We have confirmation that Barry has died multiple times and returned to life at least once, but between the killed by cacti story and the kidnapped by gerblins story, he doesn’t seem nearly as cunning or powerful as you said Kravitz made him out to be. Why would —”

At the mention of Kravitz’s name, the necromancers all hissed in disgust.

“You four are with the Raven Queen?” Chad gasped. “I thought you just wanted to join our cool fun slime necromancy club!”

Angus held his hands in the air. “Wait, that’s not what I meant! We’re not hunting you, we’re —”

“Feign interest in our dark ways no longer, then!” the tallest figure bellowed, ignoring him. “Slime clone, attack!”

Taako’s doppelganger executed a perfect cannonball dive from above, and Magnus scooped Angus up and out of the way just in the nick of time. The slime monster splattered into a flat puddle on the ground, but quickly began to reform, lunging towards the real Taako and wielding a fake Umbra Staff.

“Actually, Angus, I’m making an executive decision!” Taako declared as he dodged a splash of acid. “These guys suck ass so we are hunting them now, whether Kravitz wants us to or not!”

“The guys by the pond are the ones controlling that thing! Let’s take ‘em out!” Magnus set down Angus next to Taako, then drew Railsplitter with one hand and picked up Merle with the other. “Merle, I need your radiant damage!”

“I guess I just don’t get a choice in the matter, huh?” Merle wailed, frantically flipping through his Extreme Teen Bible as Magnus rushed in.

“Sirs, wait!” Angus yelled. “Look out for —”

Magnus began to skid to a halt — but not before Chad extended an arm, and a tendril of moss shot out of the pool, yanking Magnus’s legs out from under him. Merle’s Guiding Bolt went wide, and he tumbled off Magnus’s shoulder, landing directly on his ass.

“…the moss,” Angus sighed, as the tallest figure directed another tendril of moss to ensnare Merle before he could get to his feet.

The slime monster took a jab at Taako and he instinctively raised his Umbra Staff to block it, only for the umbrella to be engulfed and ripped out of Taako’s hand.

“Oh, fuck off! No one messes with my umbrella —”

From within the gelatinous shape that was looking less and less like Taako by the second, the Umbra Staff opened all on its own and glowed red as it fired off a Thunderwave, blasting the slime monster apart from the inside out and plastering green ooze onto nearly every wall of the cave within a thirty-foot radius.

“What the hell?” Taako caught the umbrella as it sailed back into his hand. “Uh, I mean, that was all me! I meant to do that!”

As its red glow faded, the Umbra Staff closed and gently bonked him on the head as if to sarcastically say Yeah, right.

“Now that’s just unsportly!” the tallest necromancer groaned. He reached into the pool and pulling out an ancient-looking stone staff, covered in vines and humming with energy. “Have you no moral reservations about destroying your own clone?”

“Nah, not really. I’d rather cut off any potential emotionally confusing relationships before they start, you know? That’s how I got to be me, Taako from TV, instead of some schmuck loitering in a cave and tripping over the hem of my own robe!”

“You talk a lot of smack for someone outnumbered and out-necromanced!” Chad growled. “Disintegrate him already, Dave!”

The tall necromancer twirled the staff, firing a vortex of sickly-green lightning at Taako — but Taako was ready, and unfurled his Umbra Staff as he summoned a whirlwind around him. It blew the scent of ozone and rotting wood back into the necromancers’ faces as it lifted Taako into the air like a twirling firework, carrying him up past the elevator and towards the giant stalactite in the center of the cavern.

Without even looking behind him, he plunged a hand into the damp stone at his back, transmuting on instinct and shaping the stalactite to provide him with handholds and footholds. Grinning at the stunned necromancers below him, he pointed his Umbra Staff straight down, and readied another spell.

“Actually, I think you’ll find I talk just the right amount of smack for someone with gravity on my side!” he crowed. “At Amazing Flip Wizard School, we learn to take every advantage we can get!”

As Taako summoned a freezing and highly distracting Sleet Storm, Angus took the opportunity to sneak around the pool, approaching Magnus and Merle from behind the necromancers’ backs. Merle was bound firmly in place with his back to the pool’s raised stone rim, while Magnus lay prone on the ground, flopping in place like a beached whale trapped in a mossy fishing net.

“Sirs?” Angus whispered “I’m not sure I’ll be able to just Prestidigitate you out of there…”

“Can you reach Railsplitter?” Magnus whispered back, awkwardly wriggling in place as he tried and failed to shed the tendrils binding his wrists. “I’m not sure where I dropped it…”

“Oh! I see it!” As the necromancers squabbled over who should be the one to wield their staff and fire back at Taako, Angus darted back towards the elevator —

“Look out!” Merle barked, just before a muscular green arm burst out from a mossy patch of ground at Magnus’s feet, stretching the full ten-meter distance to Railsplitter and swiping it right out from under Angus’s nose. The blade missed him by a hair’s width as the arm retracted backwards, returning to normal size as a full Magnus torso formed beneath it.

“Shit,” Magnus muttered.

At the edge of the pool, where the tendrils of moss that bound Merle touched the water, two ripples formed and from them two translucent dwarf-shaped figures emerged, stepping down onto the cave floor and following in the slimy footsteps of the Magnus clone as it approached Angus. It still wielded a very real Railsplitter in its gelatinous arms.

Angus turned around, ready to bolt for the elevator, but two new Taako clones emerged from the entry tunnel and stood atop the elevator’s upper platform, even in height with the real Taako’s stalactite perch. They drew their umbrellas in sync, one pointing at Taako and the other at Angus.

“Shit,” Merle agreed.

“Not so confident anymore, are you, wizard?” Dave boasted. “Your friends are at our mercy, now — and soon enough, you will be too!”

Even from close to a hundred feet below, Angus could see Taako tense up as he processed the situation… but then, he looked directly at Angus, and nodded solemnly.

“Actually, at Taako’s Amazing School of Flip Wizardry, this is just what we call a final exam!” he shouted, and vanished into thin air.

For exactly the next two-and-a-half seconds, both the necromancers and the slime constructs were too stunned to even react — and then all hell broke loose, as the earsplitting whine of a Shatter spell echoed through the cave and the stalactite exploded.

The second the falling rubble hit the pool, a disproportionately massive deluge of water cascaded across the chamber, instantly obliterating several newly formed Merle clones and knocking the necromancers off their feet. Just before the wave reached Angus, Taako blinked back into existence behind him, grabbing him by the wrist and lifting the two of them into the air with his umbrella.

“Stay up here while I finish the job, okay?” he told Angus, setting him down on the only dry ledge remaining in the cave. Without making eye contact, he smiled as he quietly added: “Don’t want anything to happen to you, ya know?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll —” Out of the corner of his eye, Angus spotted a pillar of decaying brown vines rising from the pile of rubble in the middle of the room. Along for the ride was one of the necromancers, his hands surrounded by crackling dark clouds. “Taako, look out!”

“Fuck!” Taako jumped in front of Angus, reopening his umbrella and bracing himself for the attack — but before the necromancer could unleash the spell, a sapphire-blue bolt of energy tore through the blighted vines suspending him, instantly vaporizing them as he plummeted to the ground and landed with a sickening crunch.

Then the sapphire aura solidified into a long, curved blade of translucent crystal, through which Angus could see tiny soul-lights dancing as the waves of the Astral Sea lapped against an island’s shore. Taako, for his part, was more preoccupied with the figure that manifested to hold the scythe — first appearing as a skeleton, then materializing a long raven-feather cloak, and at last transforming into a handsome dark-skinned man who scanned the situation below with eyes that had clearly seen their fair share of shit, but never anything quite this improbable.

“Well, these certainly aren’t the death criminals I assigned you to capture,” Kravitz said, “but I believe it’s still in both of our best interests to see them killed, so… I take it you’re interested in my help?”

***

End notes:

Between Barry Bluejeans, Jenkins, Lucas Miller, Lydia, and Edward, I like the idea that almost every single necromancer in the extended TAZ Balance universe has a comedically mundane name to contrast with their profession. Hence, Dave and Chad!

Starting with the next update, I’m going to attempt to post new chapters every other week from now on. (I’m working on Chapter 6 right now, so that should give you a rough estimate of how long that schedule will stay consistent.)

#taz #taz balance #taakitz #taako taaco #kravitz taz #angus mcdonald #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #lucretia taz #barry bluejeans #lup taaco #taz balance spoilers #rosalia writes fic #fic: FTRALA

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