#in my defense none of the characters succeed!

[cursedcola]

Ok ok so you know the thing where it's like 'hey trust exercise' where person A runs up to person B and jumps in their arms? The one that became a meme with the hot coffee....

that. just that. Could you please write something for it using characters from twisted wonderland? Thank you!

A/N: I do know the thing lol. I think this is a super cute idea and will have some fun with it hehe...Sorry if it's not too long. I am writing this in between classes just to have a little mental break :) I also think this will work better with baby headcannons so I can do more characters. Since you did not specify any characters, I will be self indulgent. Prompt: Trust exercise! Do they catch you? Format: Baby headcannons huhuhu Characters: Everyone. Literally Everyone. I feel inspired for some reason. Warnings: None :) Tooth-ache fluff. Also not proofread. Likely grammar/spelling errors

Heartslabyul Dorm

Riddle Rosehearts

Catches you by a millisecond.

The moment he sees you running he instinctively drops the books in his hands

Yells for you to stop and puts his hands out in defense

Instinctively opens them when you jump and boom. Catch

My man has noodle arms. They instantly start to shake and you get dropped on your bum

Half-angry that you put him on the spot, and half-humiliated for dropping you. He is left shell-shocked for a moment before the fuse is lit

"What on EARTH were you thinking? Must you behave so childishly all the time?! Sometimes I wonder if you WANT me to have a heart attack....*sigh* come on. Get up. Are you injured at all?"

He thinks it's silly for you to test his 'trust,' like that. Don't do it again. Next time just talk to him.

….secretly relieved that he caught you.

Trey Clover

Arms are open before you even jump

The moment you started to speed up, he knew what would come next. It flusters him, and his ears burn but he lets you have your fun

Wraps one arm around your back and the other holds one of your legs around his waist. Nice and secure :)

Laughs a little bit before setting you down carefully

"Well, that was an excitable greeting. Maybe warn me next time, okay? What if I was holding something?"

Shakes his head in disbelief that you'd test him like this. Oh well. Its over now Best for him not to think on it.

Learns that Cater showed you the prank on Magicam, and makes his tea extra sweet. Revenge > cavities.

Cater Diamond

Does not catch you. In fact, he side-steps you.

You're quite literally sprawled on the floor and he's just standing there all smug. What? Don't even look at him like that. There's no way he could have caught you without toppling over

Cater prefers to not have a face full of dirt, thank you very much

He knows what you were trying to do, and also purposefully chose to 'fail'

"Hmm~ Now why would you use such a silly method to test me? Don't we take enough exams in class (Y/N)? You're no fair..."

Despite the taunts, he holds out a hand to help you up. He'll clean your face a bit with a handkerchief and leave a cheeky peck on your cheek before going about the rest of his day

Ace Trappola

Tries to catch you. Does not succeed.

In his defense, Ace is never on full alert. Especially during the school day.

You started running at him and he full on panicked. A genuine scream to stop tore through his throat, and he held his arms out

You, in fact, did not stop. Therefore you both fell on the ground with him on the bottom

Ace is not happy

"What is wrong with you?! If my back's broke then the medical bill is on your shoulders, not mine!"

When you explain to him, he still is pissed but does feel bad for yelling at you

"...well, whatever. You don't need some stupid test to know I'm trustworthy anyways. I prove it every day, right?"

....right? Please say yes or else he will overthink this hardcore later.

Deuce Spade

Catches you on instinct.

The moment you start running he assumes something is wrong, and opens his arms to give you a hug. When you jump? Well, that's just an extra step

His feet slide back against the ground and he wobbles for a millisecond. However, he's steady. He wraps both arms around your waist firmly, and leans back to get a look at your face.

"What's wrong?! Why are you in such a hurry?!"

His eyes flicker anxiously between the direction you came from and your face

He's relieved when you tell him that everything is okay, and that you just wanted to see if he would catch you

"Don't scare me like that! I was seriously worried!"

He's still holding you, and becomes bashful once the adrenaline dials down. He mutters a quick apology while gently setting you down. Avoiding eye-contact, he excuses himself and promises to hang out later. For now, be still his beating heart

Savanaclaw Dorm

Leona Kingscholar

Yes. You don't give him enough time to think through the situation, and so he acts. Albeit a bit roughly.

The moment you jump he's reaching with one arm, startled. It wraps around your waist and hoists you over his shoulder. The other hand reaches for his wand, and he's on high alert.

Says nothing. Just grunts upon impact and scans the area.

You'll have to pat his back a few times to be let down, and it is needless to say that he is not pleased with your joke

His eyebrows draw downward with his classic scowl, and he's lowkey disappointed in you. He thought you more straight-headed than to do something like this

"You- ugh. Whatever. I caught you, so I win, right? Happy?"

Deems scolding you more trouble than it's worth. Last thing he needs is for you to get mad at him. That'll just give him an even bigger headache.

Ruggie Bucchi

Does...not. He knows that you're coming. He heard the footsteps a mile away. He simply is a snot-nosed little arse

You're running at him from behind, and the moment you get near he steps to the side. He does his little shishishishi laugh when you face plant on the floor.

When you don't get up, he crouches down and pokes your head.

"Hey, you alright? That was a pretty harsh fall. I can't imagine what caused it,"

Laughs again, but feels a bit bad if you don't reciprocate. Okay. You got him. He's sooooooo untrustworthy. An utter fool, if you will.

With a tsk, he grabs you by the elbow and eases you up.

"Yup, yup. I'm cruel, I know. Let's go get a snack, alright? It's on me - and by me, I mean that it's on Leona shishishisi"

Jack Howl

This boulder doesn't even flinch. Like clockwork, he's startled but instinctively readies his stance. You quickly land safely in his arms, and are back on the ground in a jiffy. Almost as if you never tried to tackle him in the first place.

He holds you at arms length with an eyebrow raised.

"Uhm....are you good? What was that about?"

He doesn't understand how catching you proves that he is trustworthy, but if it makes you happy then he'll do it as often as you'd like. Just give him a heads up next time, ok?

Won't admit it, but he liked holding you. Even if it was for a fleeting moment, it felt right. If you ever asked for a piggy-back ride or to be carried, he wouldn't be opposed at all. The realization embarrasses him greatly.

Octovinelle Dorm

Azul Ashengrotto

Does not, and is extremely ashamed. He does not fail tests, academic or otherwise!

He’s not weak. This man has a very healthy diet and regularly exercises. He is confident that he would have succeeded with no issue, had you not startled him. Our little cephalopod here gets flustered very easily. Only by you though.

Normally he can hide it but you 100% startled him. Can you even judge? One moment all was peaceful and the next thing he knows you’re barreling towards him. All giddy and like “catch me, catch me!” …ugh. His heart couldn’t take it.

What’s worse is that Jade caught you in his stead. He’s appreciative that you were not harmed by his lack of reflex….but the humiliation. Dear gods.

He demands that you do it again. Leave him and then try again another time when he isn’t expecting it…which is impossible since he will be on high alert 24/7. Azul fails to understand that the purpose of the test is now null, and that it tests for impulse

“A-again! Go on. Get a running start and do it again! Into my awaiting arms!…do not argue. I will not fail this time so give me another chance,”

His ego requires it, so just do it. He can’t stand the idea of failing and that image of Jade carrying you is lingering in his mind

Floyd Leech

Catches you easily. Nothing startles this guy. Well, okay, some things do. Nothing that’s physical though.

He hears you yelling for him? Well that’s just a normal day in his life. You’re running his way”? Awwwwwwweeee his little Shrimpy is so excited to see him! That’s so rare!

He’s running to meet you half way. It nearly makes you halt but the test needs answers!

He hooks his hands under your arms mid-air, and spins you around at arms length before bringing you in for a hug. All the while he has a giant grin on his face

“Did you miss me that much??? I guess I haven’t been giving you enough attention…not that I’d mind it if you do this every day hehe~”

He doesn’t care about the test, so long as you do it again. You won’t be leaving his arms any time soon si get comfortable

Jade Leech

Another to catch you easily. He does it flawlessly, like catching a balloon or a feather

He hears your approach and chooses to ignore it until the last moment. Then he turns effortlessly to capture you bridal style, set you down, and return to what he was originally doing. If anyone’s in shock, it’s you.

Then he’ll finish up and turn to you as if nothing even happened. While his gentle smile and hand on his heart are unknowing - the smug crinkle of his eyes says otherwise. He is highly amused, not in your little stunt but in the reaction he managed to create

Caresses your face with one of his gloved hands and asks how your day has gone. Once answered, he leans down to plant a light kiss on your cheek before leaving

“Oh, I almost forgot. Please be more careful in the future. Had it not been you, I would have reacted much differently to someone ‘attacking’ fufu. I love your enthusiasm dearly, and am always happy to hold you. You need only ask,”

Scarabia Dorm

Kalim Al' Asim

Sunshine meets you half way. He sees you running at him with a mega grin and instantly knows what’s going on. Social cues be damned, he wants to be loved

More like it’s you catching him. He just can’t help himself. He jumps at you before you even get a chance to do the same.

His arms go around your shoulders in the biggest hug imaginable. He knows better than to throw his whole body weight on you, so he settles for merely hugging and swaying your body from side to side

It’s sickeningly sweet how giddy he is. He pulls you at arms length before peppering light kisses along your cheeks

“I missed you so much! Can I have another one? Please?”

Oh! A test? How fun! He’ll take this one many times if it means you’ll hug him more often. He passed? Yippieeeeeee

Jamil Viper

Catches you, begrudgingly. He’s known about the trend and was frankly expecting you to try it. He just didn’t know when.

Jamil is no fool. He could let you fall. It would be funny. Maybe even make his day.

But then you’d be upset with him. He really could do without that. Not if it could be prevented

So the moment he sees you rushing towards him, Jamil knows what to do. He quickly sets down whatever he’s doing and takes position

With an oof and a momentary scowl from discomfort, he’s got ya. One arm around you’re bum and the other your waist. You wrap both of your arms around his shoulders, and with a sigh he just lets you koala hang for a moment

“Are we done now? Not to be rude, but my arms are tired and I would prefer that we not make a spectacle of ourselves”

He asks if you had fun. You did? Well, he supposes that it can be done again. In private only though. No more pranks.

Pomefiore Dorm

Vil Schoenheit

Does not catch you on purpose, and then insists that you do it again.

You see, he did not want to encourage your childish antics, so he purposefully pretended that he was not strong enough to catch you

A lie, obviously. He is very strong despite his pretty boy exterior. Instead of calling him out for it, you play along. A mocking sigh of resignation flies out as you not so subtly comment on his lack of strength.

Oh, you're absolutely right, Vil! I'm sorry for over estimating you...hmm, perhaps I can try again with Neige-

"You will do no such thing. Now, I am going to walk away and once I turn the corner you are going to run at me. Is that clear?"

Epel Felmeir

Catches you! Listen. My boy here spent his entire childhood lugging around crates of apples, cutting down trees, and running through fields. There is no way that he lacks the stamina to catch you. Maybe he can't hold you for an extended period, but those cinnamon stick arms are built for catching

He jolts when you scream his name, and he loses his composure. The moment you jump he lets out a string of curses and drops everything to catch you

The impact sends Epel teetering, and he fall son his butt with you on top of him

"O-o-oi! What'd ya think you're doing?! I nearly split my tailbone!"

Is slightly saddened that he couldn't keep steady. If only he was stronger like the Savanaclaw students...

Rook Hunt

Catches you with grace. There isn't much to say here.

Our princely hunter need not predict your movements, or pay attention to your plotting. Where's the fun in that?

Non non, what a sight for sore eyes. Rook swoons the moment you call his name, and his pupils basically turn to hearts when he sees you running towards him

With a laugh, he opens his arms wide and catches you in an instant. He shifts you into a bridal carry, and dips you down to plant a loving hiss on your nose.

Bonus points if you kiss him back along where his freckles would be without makeup. Oh this man is dying

"Mon coheur....what a wonderful surprise! If you were to greet me like this every day for the rest of my life, I would die a happy man indeed,"

Ignihyde Dorm

Idia Shroud

Catches you

On accident :)

More like you just fall in his lap, but it still counts? Kind of

He was in his room, multitasking both controlling his floating tablet around school while also playing the latest MMO

Just when he started to wonder where you might be (normally you find his tablet during study break) he hears his door burst open

Startled, he whips around in his chair to see you running at him. He lets go of the computer mouse and keyboard on impulse. Right when you jump and basically straddle him in his chair

Idia.exe has stopped working. From the sudden entrance, to the physical contact, to your giddy rambling about...something? He can't hear past the buzzing in his ears and just nods along

Hyper aware that you are sitting in his lap still. Attempting to control himself...and failing.

"U-uhhh, can y-you please move? Like, off of me? I c-can get you a chair,"

You comply, and he calms down for a second. He's not complaining but why would you -

an internet trend? Ortho told you to?

....Idia doesn't know if he should thank his brother or scold him.

Ortho Shroud (PLATONIC!)

Little Ortho meets you half way! You do not get to jump because he sees your arms open for a hug and does not waste a moment

With you basically being one of his best friends (and hopefully second sibling. Ortho is rooting for his big bro to win your heart!) he loves your hugs

When you ruffle his hair after letting go, his eyes crinkle into the cutest little upturned crescents and he laughs

"You know...I bet brother would love one of your hugs! You should go surprise him!"

Diasomnia Dorm

Malleus Draconia

Child of man, what a wonderful surprise?

You are fulfilling this man's fantasy. You know the phrase 'looking through rose-colored class'?

You're running towards him and he's watching like it's an early 2000s AMV on Youtube

Or like a Tik Tok edit. You know the ones

Drops everything. AND I MEAN EVERYTHING

It is like this man loses all sense of his surroundings. Lovesick fool.

Opens his arms wide with a soft smile, and when you jump he barely flinches. Your arms wrap around his shoulders and legs around his waist. One of his arms holds the small of your back, and the other your rear. He...well, yes he is aware and is doing it on purpose. Our prince isn't uhm...well, he is a man. A gentlemen, but still a man nonetheless.

"What a welcome greeting. Are you comfortable? I would like to remain this way for longer, if you do not mind"

He holds you tight with his head comfortably buried in between your neck and shoulder. Malleus lightly kisses the fabric of your uniform blazer, before returning to his prior activities like nothing is amiss

Lilia Vanrouge

...I guess? It's complicated.

You come at this bat from behind in an attempt to surprise him

He's not that old, y'know. Lilia senses you trailing him the moment you begin. Then again, he always knows when you're within a five mile radius.

What? Is it really so bad for him to seek out the object of his affections? Anyone else would do the same. It's not like he's being a creep about it...you just have a unique presence.

He is also well versed in internet trends. Lilia can't help but humor you. He walks around unknowing and occasionally snickering. Some question what he finds so humorous, and he waves them off with a cheeky grin

He senses your intent to attack, and doesn't turn around when you call his name. You jump at him from behind and koala hug his back

If it weren't for the hands holding your calves, you'd think him ignorant.

'Lilia? Lilia~ Hello? Are you already deaf so soon-'

Faster than you can comprehend, he spins you around to face him and pecks your lips

"Why hello there, my dear. Care to finish that sentence?"

'....no'

Sebeck Zigvolt

Does not catch you. He initially thought you were aiming for Malleus, and stood in front of his superior to protect him

Oh he should have known! Betrayal! You have betrayed him!

...why are you calling his name? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

Oh seven it's one of your pranks again, isn't it? Whya re you always doing such-

When you yell for him to catch you, Sebeck does so without a second thought

but he fails. His offensive stance wasn't fit for taking the imbalance of weight, and he couldn't get a stable grip on you

Gravity pulls him forwards on a path where his weight would crush you

So Sebeck quickly wraps one of his hands around the back of your head, and flips so he takes the impact instead

"Have you gone mad?! I genuinely cannot fathom what is going on in your brain anymore. Who put you up to this? What if you had been injured? What if you injured Lord Malleus?....stop laughing and listen to me!"

Silver

Do not startle a man with a sword.

Once again, do NOT startle a man with a SWORD.

Silver catches you. Easily. He also thinks it is absolutely adorable that you trust him enough to do so.

It's just that you could have warned him. Y'know, considering that he is armed and trained to draw his weapon at the slightest sign of a threat :)

Lucky for you, Silver is high-key vigilant since he has a tendency to doze off to dreamland. He sensed your presence but couldn't pinpoint where...

Imagine his surprise when you jump down from above :) The hell do you think you are, his father?

On instinct he reaches out and catches you in a bridal carry. Your rear knocks against the sword hanging at his side, and with a grunt he places you down on the floor to check for injury

"While I love spending time with you, can you please use the door next time? For my sanity?"

[justi-faiz]

"Justice For Kaixa" is the rawest depiction of trauma in Tokusatsu History.

Hello, I am Wil Justifaiz and this is my first ever attempt at structuring something for Tumblr so please be patient with me. Faiz has been my favourite show in all Tokusatsu, maybe my favourite piece of television ever, despite is very notable flaws. The story of finding your place in a world that refuses to accept you and will villainize you, that will treat you like a monster no matter what you do, the story of overcoming trauma that Faiz represents really speaks to me.

Every single character in Faiz is a victim of severe trauma that shapes their story throughout the entire show but none of them manages to foil and progress the show in the way that Masato Kusaka does. In my completely honest opinion, Kamen Rider Kaixa is the best anti hero the franchise has ever seen and no other character has ever managed to even remotely capture the complexity of his character. A complexity that is on full display in his focus episode, Episode 37: Justice for Kaixa

//SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF KAMEN RIDER FAIZ!!!

Justice for Kaixa takes place shortly after Takumi's secret identity as an Orphnoch is revealed to the rest of cast, an event that fundamentally shakes up the dynamics of the tightly knit friend group that Faiz is known for. The episodes prior to this primarily focus on how this impacts Takumi's relationships with Mari, Keitaro and Yuji as they all struggle to truly adjust to this change. However prior to this episode, there is very little exploration of what Kusaka, Takumi's biggest detractor and the primary hater of Orphnoch's, thinks beyond it just being a justification for his hatred. This is addressed directly in this episode as Justice for Kaixa serves as an explanation and an elaboration of WHY kusaka is the way he is, why he has all those unexplained quirks and why he tends to get defensive and begins to gaslight people whenever he feels like his control over a situation is questioned.

During the following conversation with Kiba, Kusaka accidentally slips up when talking about Takumi, his hatred of Orphnoch distracting him from the possibility that Mari and Keitaro could take offense from that. This is unusual of the always reserved and calculated Kusaka who tries to always appeal to Mari and Keitaro in order to sustain a social control over them, something which shows to us as the audience just how deep Kusaka's hatred of the Orphnoch goes. But why...

Kusaka during the rest of the scene tries to reassert his dominance over the discussion by comparing Takumi to Sawada, even if his point is very much false, something he may or may not be aware of (depends on how you interpret his view on orphnochs, he could genuinely mean this, I am not sure), however Kusaka's logical stance and well worded points that directly draw from Mari's personal struggles is exactly what Kusaka thrives on. The reason he gets away with everything he does in the show is because he can CONSISTENTLY make a good case for himself and KNOWS how to justify his place there depending on who he is talking to. This is Kusaka's strong point, the core of Faiz's drama and THE MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL OF KUSAKA'S CHARACTER THAT SO MANY PEOPLE GET WRONG, Kusaka's need to be in control of everything in his life is the DIRECT RESULT of his trauma and it's what shapes him into the toxic and controlling piece of shit that he is. (and why I really like his writing 98% of the time.) Kusaka, as well worded as his points were, slowly comes to realize that, he didn't succeed in persuading Mari that Takumi needs to die. This is the set up to what I believe to be the best depiction of trauma induced panic attack that I've ever seen in a piece of media. Mari calling Takumi even if Kusaka's told her to stay away is what makes Kusaka realize he is losing control over the situation, a situation which hits VERY CLOSE to the most traumatic moment of his life.

The next shot we see of Kusaka is him aggressively cleaning his hand, a trait that he has displayed ever since his debut, as he mumbles in frustration as to why Mari can trust an Orphnoch so willingly, the very thing that got them all killed all these years ago. Kusaka is very much aware that Mari has no recollection of the event but the irony of it all, how she shows such unconditional love to the very thing he has been trying to protect them from just sets something off in him. Along with that Kusaka begins to feel frustrated that all his efforts to impress Mari, the only person Kusaka seems to have any real feelings of affection for, the only person who Kusaka is willingly to do anything for and the only one who he desires affection from, is seemingly betraying all his efforts without even acknowledging ANY of them. This is the part of the essay where I need to point out, Kusaka's entitlement to Mari's affection is OBVIOUSLY a toxic trait that is very much KUSAKA'S FAULT, just because I will rationalize WHY he has this tendency doesn't mean that Kusaka is JUSTIFIED in any of this. Kusaka's mommy issues and desire for Mari's affection often times has Kusaka disregard Mari's feelings for the sake of comforting himself. Kusaka isn't exactly an incel like Micchy gaim but his unhealthy obsession with Mari is very much a fundamental character flaw.

This is where it happens, one of my favourite scenes in the entire genre, Kusaka PTSD triggers as we finally receive the pay off to his little hand washing quirk as the blood of that night is covering his hand. Seeing this scene for the first time gave me chills, everything about the way things unfold, the score setting in the panic, the build up to it, the eventual "jumpscare", the incredible directing work and of course the highlight that makes it all work together so nicely, the sheer horror in Kusaka's face, an absolutely phenomenal performance by Kohei Murakami that manages to PERFECTLY portray just how scary this hallucination is to Kusaka, just how desperate he is to suppress that night from his brain. All of it is simply brilliant. The show does not try to soften or stylize or shyly draw an allegory to it, Kusaka's panic attack is raw, it's scary and it's very real. They did not shy away from showing just how helpless the all powerful and calculated Kusaka becomes during these episodes, being "reduced" to a screaming and panicked mess, lashing out at his surroundings as he smashes anything his way in this panicked state, trying everything in his power to convince himself that this night never took place.

The scene is chaotic, Kusaka violently trying to scrape the blood of his hand but no matter how hard he scrubs it the blood just won't come off, he fidgets he tries to look away, his breathing becomes heavy and erratic, the sharp violin and the thuds keeping you at the edge of your seat as we see this character who has always been in control breaking down as all his efforts accomplish nothing. No matter what he does, nothing will ever scrape off the warm, crimson blood from his hands and that is terrifying. It's a constant reminder that no matter what Kusaka attempts he will never EVER be able to overcome this event, he will never be able to clean off that blood from his hands. This scene explains EVERYTHING about why and how Kusaka is the way he is, this moment of sheer panic ends as abruptly as it started but it's message is still clear, the blood is something only Kusaka can see, a trauma he can't clean off, even if it's not visibly there anymore, his hand will never be rid of the blood it touched that night, Kusaka will NEVER be able to get rid of what happened to him that night. That's what makes Kusaka's character so tragic, that no matter what he does, he will never find peace.

Even if his hand is clean, Kusaka has been so shaken up by this very moment that he is still manic and unable to compose himself no matter how hard his tries as his panic attack continues. Kusaka looks disgusted and completely shaken up during this entire sequence as he gets up and begins to just smash shit up before he spots the only other thing in existence that acknowledges that he was there that night, the poster with his name written on it. Nothing and no one else in the entire world knows what happened but that poster, the only thing that forces his to acknowledge that night AND THUS if he destroys it, then nothing else can force him to acknowledge that night. The way Kusaka drops on the floor as he desperately tries to erase his name from the poster with a box character almost makes you feel bad for him because he isn't angry, he is desperate and that's what makes it feel so sad. Kusaka is reduced to a complete mess that is completely alien from his usual self because of how debilitatingly traumatic this memory is for him.

The roughness of how he gets to cutting up the poster is pure directing brilliance that is exclusive to it's time, the very wide shots that make Kusaka look small, the way Kusaka can't even compose himself to place it on the table, throwing everything around in his attempts to place it on the table, the messy and very rough attempt to tear out his name. All of it is genuine scary and sad to watch.

Mari catching him during this episode is another great choice to really add onto just how hard it is for Kusaka to control himself during one of these episodes, Mari confronting him as he fails to properly compose himself for long leads to one of the only moments where Kusaka gets violent with anyone that isn't an orphnoch, Takumi or Yuji as his composed and friendly facade COMPLETELY dissipates when confront with his trauma. Not even Mari, the most important person in his life is safe from this need to repress that memory at all costs. This shows Kusaka's need for control in full display because it provides us with the reason, Kusaka losing control of a situation reminds him all too much of that day where he was too helpless to save Mari or himself. Kusaka's need for control is a self defense mechanism, that night left him incapable of ever being vulnerable again whether its socially or physically, Kusaka is a character which every bit of his backstory serves as a reminder to the audience that this is a man who has gone through INDESCRIBABLE trauma without ever receiving any professional help to mend his broken psyche. This is why I find myself able to like Kusaka's character because, even if his actions are unforgivable they are all very rational once you understand who he is and why he is like this. Kusaka is an asshole who was forged through trauma. A narrative that often gets overlooked in recent media is how not every traumatized character is innocent and soft and just needed a big ol' hug to become a good guy. Don't get me wrong, I love characters like that too but Kusaka portrays a really ugly truth that genuinely makes me question why he is such a rarity. He is a traumatized person that never got the help he should have received, he never resolved his traumas and if I may mention a previous episode, his only guidance in life, his adoptive father enable and directly leads him into his path of self destruction, a topic I could and probably will go on about in my inevitable Kusaka deep dive, however the core of this message is how Kusaka is a bad person because he never resolved the issues he had, he never got the help he needed and he has never felt safe since that day, his entire life is a series of unfortunate events. A lot of people forget that Kusaka is an orphan as well, the reason he cares for Mari so much is because she provided him with the protection that he was looking for from his deceased(or maybe she just left him) mother.

Kusaka is what happens when a traumatized person never finds a way to healthily resolve his problems, that gets encouraged to indulge in his darkest thoughts in order to feel safe. This is what makes him such a perfect foil and anti hero. Takumi is also traumatized and yet, while takumi resolves his issues by finding people that will unconditionally love him and bonding with others like him while Kusaka isolates himself further and tries to find a way to be above others so he doesn't get hurt.

This is also why I get so pissed when people call Kusaka a villain, he is very much not that. A big part of kusaka's appeal to me atleast is how he is an anti hero because, much like you and me, he is a normal human. He isn't some sort super villain, he consistently fights for a just(on paper) cause, he is a hero who is a bad person. That's what makes him so unique. He is a bad person that isn't evil.

I'm running out of images so I won't go into as much detail about the rest of the episode + this is what I wanted to talk about mostly but yes, Mari telling Kusaka that Takumi could be the orphnoch that ruined his life is a vital piece of information that in his mind justifies all his hatred against Takumi but in order to assure this theory he needs to calm down, this is where we see Kusaka slip back into his usual persona to ease Mari into sharing the information he needs.

The drama sparked from this episode is just phenomenal and the character work it does for Kusaka is equally as good, I do heavily suggest to people that feel like they still don't fully understand Kusaka to take a look into his 2 character songs, Existence~KAIXA-nized Dice and Red Rock. Both of these songs delve deep into Kusaka's ideology, Existence explores his belief that only he knows the reality of the world, that only he can change fate for he is the only one who is truly "aware". To simplify it, Kusaka sees himself as the main character and everyone else is an npc he has to befriend or take down, that only he knows what's best. Meanwhile Red Rock explores Kusaka's need to be the victor in the end along with the previously stated inability to be vulnerable around others, in a world where people can betray you, Kusaka finds it impossible to confide in anyone for he may be caught of guard and be hurt once again by it. Kusaka wants his peace and does not trust ANYONE to help him with it. So until he wins, he will keep on fighting, he will fight until he has full control over fate itself. That's what makes Takumi such a good foil for him, because Takumi questions said authority while displaying no real drive of his own. It's a fight between the most driven and determined man who is set on revenge vs a man who has no ambition beyond maybe seeing tomorrow. Their rivalry is peak.

The reveal of the blood not being shed by Kusaka and instead being Mari's blood that Takumi supposedly shed is just a great touch, it recontextualizes Kusaka's protectiveness of Mari during the events of faiz while being a genuinely shocking and REALLY well shot scene.

The episode ends in Kusaka trying to resolve his problems by avenging mari's life along with his. In his mind executing Takumi is the only way he can find peace as he prepares to kill him, only held back by Yuji's attempt to rescue Takumi.

This episode is quite honestly one of my favourites in all tokusatsu and what makes Kusaka go from just an asshole that brings forth REALLY GOOD drama, to a tragic, three dimensional character who I can understand and empathize with while rooting against him at every turn. He is truly the most nuanced anti hero in the franchise and there will never be a character like him. I'm so glad that Kohei Murakami thinks so too, often referencing his role as Kaixa and celebrating KAIXA-day every September. He is a one of a kinda character that I genuinely think people should genuinely take another look at and try to see more to him that just how much of a dislikeable asshole he can be. How kaixa's belief that he determines fate is the grave act of hubris which leads to his eventual demise... Thank you all for reading! Faiz is my favourite piece of tokusatsu to ever come out of Toei and it means a great deal to me. I only now realized I never took a deep dive of it before so I thought I should give it a go by analyzing one of my favourite episodes. If you liked it please let me know, I really appreciate all the support! Also kusaka in my mind is 19 and no ancient site from 2003 can convince me that he is actually 21, that's stupid and weird. THANK YOU, BYEEEE!!!!!

[cmyk-anaglyph-honeycomb]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7 blind blogging.

spoilers and whatnot.

BITCH YOU WERE HARMED!!! What? Vaggie saying that she didn't know angels could be harmed is insane. Maybe the thing that harmed you was used to kill that angel, how was that not an idea that popped into their heads? I didn't have much to say until 4 and a half minutes in cuz it was mostly the clip that was already released. I was thinking about not even doing this until Charlie and Vaggie started talking about what to do about the angels. Working back a bit cuz I guess I'm doing this now. Pen petting the cat was cute. It's odd that none of the other hotel gang have questions about Vaggie being an angel. Like, she was down there killing sinners. For them to be alright with her, while Charlie, the one who is forgiving to an actual fault, is the one with the problem is odd. Yeah, they're girlfriends, but Vaggie's reasoning is 100% something Charlie would roll over and accept no questions asked.

Anyway, I’ll add it hear, cuz why not, but like why isn’t Angel more invested in the redemption plan. Earlier in the season at least. Cuz proof or not, that would be the best way for him to get away from Val.

He’s only at the hotel so he doesn’t have to live with him, but if Angel could get into heaven, then that’s it. Now, knowing that no one knows how to actually get into heaven (if the hotel gang even know that yet), it makes sense that he’s not enthusiastic. But if not, then he should be a pushy about it as Charlie.

Okay back to the episode in progress.

Alastor's image in the window was a neat shot, loved that. Very curious to see what he wants Charlie to do for him.

Charlie never being to cannibal town kinda bothers me. Like she wants to redeem sinners, but she clearly doesn’t know much about them. As the princess of hell, she should at least care enough to know something like what region is the least violent or vaguely peaceful.

More children in hell, this continues to bother me. Also, I’m not found of Rosie’s voice. It isn’t bad, it just doesn’t seem to fit her.

How does not one know what Hell’s royalty look like? Like what is the point of the Morningstar’s being referred to as royals if it means nothing? They might as well be know as the oldest family in hell, it would have the same weight.

Carmilla, my girl is back on screen. And she proves my point. Being a princess of hell is not a title with any weight or power. Also, bold of Vaggie to thing she wasn’t going to get jumped the second she stepped outside.

My girl’s point out the facts, Charlie’s actions have only made things worse. Susan is me whenever Carmilla isn’t on screen.

Lol Charlie finally snapped.

First, Carmilla with her hair down, love that. Second, ITS AN ANGELIC SPEAR!?!? No one else caught that!?!? REally?

Vaggie swings around and angelic weapon and not only did she not think someone would notice, no one fucking noticed!

How did Vaggie not know that she could be harmed? Don’t the angels go through training or something, or is it whoever wants to be on the murder squad gets to go? What is the logic in this?

(monotone) oh wow I was right angelic weapons harm angels.

These characters are so stupid i hope heaven wins.

Not to doubt my girl, but how does Carmilla know this much about angels? It’s implied that none of them have been hurt or killed before, but she’s talking like she’d been doing this for a while.

Also, what is the point of Vaggie being an angel is she knows literal nothing about them and has to be taught how to fight against them.

I’m sorry, but no. The angels leave their spears lying around and NO ONE has ever taken one and tried to use it against them in self defense and succeed, ever? I refuse to believe that. The exterminations happen every year, not one ever had the idea to fight back using the angels own spears. In an environment were killing and fighting is the norm. Bullshit.

Song #1

An overlord of hell singing about how fighting for love is the key is kind of…off.

Her wings came back? Why? Because of love…does that mean she just didn’t love Charlie enough?

The song is flat and kinda boring. Visuals are alright, a lot of jumping around. But Carmilla’s on screen and I’m a simple critter, so 4/10 i guess.

Charlie just coming out and telling someone she just met that Vaggie is an angels feels dangerous. Like these guys have been killing sinners forever, like, people finding out should put a huge target on Vaggie’s back.

(Deep inhale) the song has not started yet, BUT if Charlie’s singing explanation works this time and the only reason it hasn’t in the past is because she’s been doing it to the wrong crowd, im going to loose it.

No, the problem wasn’t that she was delusional and didn’t thing her plan all the way through, its just she wasn’t doing it to the right sinners /s

Charlies problem of singing her way through things is going to be linked with Lilith isn’t it?

Song #2

Destiny did not pick her for anything. The problem she, and the rest of hell, is facing is caused by her direct actions. That’s not destiny, that’s cleaning your own mess.

The cannibals weren’t convinced by her singing, they just want to eat the angels. A think Alastor tells them. Why is charlie even here? He could have walked up that gazebo and asked if they wanted to try angel meat, they would have agreed and he’d be like cool but you have to fight for it. Like what?

Charlie is put off by the cannibal town wanting to murder, where does she think she is? Why does she think she’s recruiting them? They angels aren’t going to go away after a bit of push back, death is going to happen.

Her naivete is leaning towards stupid, she has not idea about anything.

She singing like she’s a leader, so are rosie and alastor, but they crowd isn’t even excited about defending hell or seeing new places, or whatever charlie is trying to say. They want angel flesh, that’s it. Charlie isn’t a leader her, she’s just a messenger for an idea that isn’t her’s. The hotel and hell being defended would just be a byproduct of the cannibals killing enough angel for their own goals.

And suddenly everyone is singing together about fight heaven for no reason.

She’s not going to question the wings at all? After all that moping and complain? No one in the crowd is going to react to an angel after just singing about killing them? Cool

Charlie and Vaggie aren’t going to talk things out at all?

Ending thoughts:

This episode (season) felt rushed. Not time to sit on anything. Not Vaggie being an angel. Not charlie or anyone prepossessing that. Not charlie finally convincing a larger group of people on her side, nothing.

These episodes needed to be twice as long or have twice as many at least. Nothing has saying power.

Besides defending all of hell, there’s isn’t any reason why the hotel gang couldn’t just evacuate the building and stay somewhere else if they were that sure angels couldn’t be stopped. They could have stayed with lucifer for a day, I doubt the angel bother him.

None of the accomplishments in the episode felt earned. Alastor gave charlie all the answers. Vaggie had to learn about the weaknesses of angels despite being one. She’s only been down there for three years, so it isn’t like she forgot overtime.

Neither of the songs were that good. Overall this is probably the worst episode for me.

[lonesomedreamer]

SNW Liveblog Snark: “Hegemony”

here it is at last, my final slog through snw that no one asked for!

I’ll never forgive this show for introducing Roger Korby for no reason. but ig I shouldn’t be surprised: they also made T’Pring a legitimate “love interest” for Spock since the first episode…

beaming up looked more “realistic” in the 60s than it does on the very high-budget snw…

why is there a delta slapped onto every single object on the Enterprise? is the Federation, in fact, a giant corporation that needs to brand itself?

how many times can these writers go back to the Gorn??? there are only 20 episodes, and the Gorn have already been the Big Bad in like four of them. (the fact that there’s a Big Bad at all is its own problem, imo.)

“sometimes a monster is just a monster.” no, bad. please go watch some TOS.

the Big Bad Gorn have what are essentially magical powers that counteract almost all the Enterprise’s tech…because the plot requires them to ig!

this is the “command” crew?? even the CMO…? funny how only two of them are wearing command gold.

I’m nitpicking with this—I understand that there’s some overlap in starship roles, so TOS!Spock can be both the head of the science division and the first officer. nevertheless… “command” is its own distinct division in this show’s universe!

and sure, Bones spent way too much time on the Bridge, but it was never implied he was in a “command” position. he had also never stabbed an ambassador—in Sickbay AND while on duty—in“self defense” or otherwise, but I digress…

Pike: I need volunteers Spock, Uhura, and Number One: we volunteer! Pike: no, not you

someone please just write Sam Kirk out of the show already

why would anyone be surprised that Spock has never seen a zombie movie? (I mean, has Spock seen any movies? are movies even still a widespread form of entertainment in this universe…??)

this show does not deserve her

everything about the Gorn subplot is, as always, pessimistic and dark and deeply un-Trek-like. slaughtering baby aliens, however dangerous they are, also just feels…gross.

Pike actually manages to half-ass a line that sounds like actual Trek philosophy (instead of murdering these creatures we don’t understand, maybe we should learn more about them!) even though it contradicts what he said earlier in the episode about monsters.

please don’t be Scotty. please don’t be Scotty.

oh, for fuck’s sake.

also…if we’re still pretending that this is a direct prequel to TOS, Spock, Uhura, and Scotty have all had experience with the Gorn before the events of “Arena,” yet none of them mention that while they’re together on the Bridge watching their captain battle the Gorn captain to the death…???

Pike’s girlfriend is alive, which is fine, but that also means more screentime will be wasted on their subplot… this show didn’t need any more new-old characters (Scotty?!), and trimming some of its peripheral characters (Batel, Sam Kirk, etc.) to focus on its core cast wouldn’t have hurt.

[unconfirmed theory about the Gorn] “if that’s true—” well, it’s pretty big IF, right?

“[Christine] beamed back to the Cayuga.” “Gonna be honest, that is not great news.” wow, stellar dialogue.

I’m glad Spock still has his box o’ blue light, even on this nightclub nightmare of a Bridge…

they really cast this stunningly beautiful woman just so they could totally waste her. it boggles the mind!

“Placing those rockets is a near-impossible task. No human can do this. I, however, can.”/ “I am the only member of the crew who can pull this off. If it is to succeed, it must be me.” everybody loves Spock, but why can’t a human do this whereas a half-human half-Vulcan can…? explain please??? (they won’t.)

there are so many “witty” dialogue exchanges on this show, but they’re so rarely actually funny or charming that they usually end up being cringey and/or tonally dissonant wastes of time instead of effective comic relief. (here, Scotty apologizes for eavesdropping but says it “wasn’t my fault you decided to have a secret conversation in front of my sleeping spot”…did none of these scripts have an editor??)

Christine is alive? I’m shocked!

there’s no feasible way anyone on the damaged ship lived. even in the surviving structure, they’d be directly exposed to, well…space. but at the same time, no one watching believed Christine was dead, right?

and if Christine has been there, alive, the whole time, is she (as a nurse) not going to see if anyone else might also have survived??

Christine managed to restore limited power/life support to one area of the ship despite the massive level of destruction, and then the best way she can think to communicate with the Enterprise and Spock is via…flashlight?!?

but WHO could’ve predicted there would be Gornlings on Scotty’s abandoned shuttle in a town that’s been overrun with Gorn—oh.

“that thing chose not to attack?” maybe it’s not a thing at all, Pike. or (more likely for this show) maybe Batel’s already a host for Gorn eggs and therefore not a target.

why is Spock’s task somehow impossible for a human? I still want to know…

lmao, nice try…if anyone has plot armor, it’s Spock.

so this is an adult Gorn? (it’s wearing a space suit.) yet it makes no attempt to communicate in any way…which suggests to me that SNW is not going to gradually transform the Gorn into nuanced/compelling antagonists the way people have predicted. hatchling or adult, they’re just the SNW equivalent of xenomorphs.

you know when you shouldn’t turn slowly around with your weapon for dramatic effect? when your boyfriend is about to be murdered by a bloodthirsty alien!!!

here for any Spockstine I can get. this is still ridiculous, tho.

also, that is not how physics works!

Uhura and Number One grinning at each other when Spock says “two to beam up” like they somehow know Christine is one of the two…the single survivor of that shipwreck could’ve been literally anyone (and no one even thought to check for survivors in the first place)! just because the audience knows information doesn’t mean the characters automatically do, too. dramatic irony is a thing?

brb starting a gofundme to send these writers to a Literature 101 course.

nowkiss.jpg

can you beam that many people up at once? and shouldn’t the bioscanners be able to filter out or at least detect Batel’s Gorn infection…?

there’s no way Montgomery “over the moon about being confined to quarters with his technical journals” Scott received bad grades at the Academy. whatever. he’s quirky now or something.

she should be the captain of her own ship on her own show. that is all.

as usual this season, Pike is indecisive when it matters most and seems borderline incompetent. this is precisely the kind of no-win scenario that Starfleet officers are supposed to be able to handle.

and ending the season on a cliffhanger is pretty lame. but then so is the entire Gorn subplot.

well, this one was a mess in a misleadingly straightforward package, and it’s not even technically over. a two-year cliffhanger…tough sell.

this is SNW’s second or third trek-does-horror episode in a complement of only twenty. that’s not great. the writing isn’t, either; plot points are predictable, dialogue is cringe, and a great deal of the action seems to rely heavily on circumstance and/or luck (Scotty and his tech skills being on the planet, Christine being alive/finding Spock, etc.) but worse, this isn’t any kind of morality play. by their own admission, it’s a zombie movie. and it’s not even a good one.

The Good: a crumb of Spock/Christine content after this very show spent the last three episodes torpedoing that ship—Rebecca Romijn is gorgeous and gets to do something, if only for 5 minutes—Scotty is well-cast (much better so than Paul Wesley’s Kirk).

The Bad: the Gorn being horror villains (again) violates everything Trek is supposed to be about—bad/nonsensical science everywhere—one of the weakest/most out-of-character Spock outings to date (and I don’t mind him being upset/grieving Christine, but the writing for him was not good this week)—introducing yet another TOS character on “Pike’s” show—speaking of…Pike’s overall behavior and decision-making (or lack thereof)—no one on the Enterprise checking for survivors, broken scanners/sensors be damned, in the wreckage before they planned to destroy it.

I say it every time, but at this point, I’m not expecting anything more or better from season 3 on. But I do hope Spock and Christine get to smooch a few more times.

[rosietrace]

Melodic Misconceptions 🎹

Track 12: Business & production

Synopsis: Victoria Shard was a former member of the popular idol group [ Poisoner ] from NRC corporations. After discourse with her group leader, Victoria decided it was best for her to leave and pursue her solo career in a record label run by her parents.

It had been half a year since her separation from her old group, and Victoria had never been more successful. But now she has a new problem. She must return to NRC corporations in order to mentor the seven idol groups.

Ellis Clawthorne is a member of [ (Co)-connect ] the most recent group under NRC'S belt. With no experience as an idol, Ellis must persevere in order to succeed and pursue her dreams.

Will both girls be able to adapt to their current situations?

✐ ✎_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_✐ ✎

Author's note: Apparently I've changed my mind and Y/N's gonna be more central to the plot than I originally thought 😶

I feel like the other ships will only be implied, and that Victoria's relationship with Y/N will be the only 'actual' ship that isn't implied. I hope you guys are okay with that ^^||

In other news, I had a lot of fun making the fake Twitter posts and just poking fun at Aguri in general XD the man's gonna get character development, of course, but that doesn't change the fact that he's currently filled with clownery 🤡

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this new track ^^ 'Young and beautiful' was definitely my first choice for Victoria's new single other than the demo for 'Diet mountain dew'

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

"You should try safety precautions. It would help you stop that habit of injuring yourself."

Yuuta complained, replacing the ice pack on Ellis's sprained ankle with another one. Ellis had her hands up defensively, eyebrows raised.

"In my defense, I was trying to make our mentor happy after she was having a bad day!" Ellis exclaimed, hiding away the seething pain she felt from the numbness of her ankle.

Victoria chuckled."I appreciate that you were willing to do that for me, Ellis, but your health and safety should come first and foremost." She said, carefully inspecting her ankle just in case there were more major injuries than she thought. Thankfully, there were none.

Mayuu massaged her temples in exasperation."If this continues, I swear to God…" Mayuu muttered, causing Yuuta to snort.

Juvia laughed awkwardly, sitting next to Ellis."Don't worry, Mayuu, we'll do our best to ensure that something like this doesn't happen again." She assured, giving Mayuu a presentable yet gentle smile.

Thankfully, that was technically enough to calm her down a bit. Just a bit.

Suddenly, Juvia turned to Victoria."Oh, right, aren't you supposed to be recording the official version of your latest single? I heard from Zen that you've already finished the demos."

Victoria shrugged."Yes, but I've also been told that I have to prepare for the filming of the music video." Juvia formed an 'o' with her mouth and sent her a supportive nod.

Suddenly, Mayuu was given a last-minute text."Hm?" Catching everyone's attention, Mayuu tapped the notification to check what the text was about.

And judging by her expression after reading it, it wasn't good news.

Wanting to check for himself, Yuuta quickly took away Mayuu's phone and observed the text. After doing so, his eyebrows raised in shock.

"Ah…." Victoria tilted her head, raising an eyebrow at the suited young man.

"What is it?" She asked in concern, making Mayuu and Yuuta look at each other, silently debating on who should tell her the news by invoking eye contact with one another.

In the end, it was Yuuta who lost the battle.

"One of the idol group leaders from the other divisions will be in charge of visuals for the music video…"

Noticing the distaste in his voice, Victoria grew suspicious. Who could it be? She wondered.

"Okay…? Why do you appear so bewildered by such news?"

Yuuta glanced at Mayuu, and the look in his eyes was enough for her to huff and let Victoria witness the aggravation in her eyes.

"It's Vil."

In a flash, the atmosphere grew tense. And it felt suffocating.

".... Vil?"

"Yes." Mayuu tensed up, backing away a bit just in case Victoria lashes out. She didn't want to fall victim to her unrevealed wrath.

Ellis let out a frustrated scoff."It was probably because of the CEO… How 'gracious' of him to allow Vil to work with Victoria again." Her words were covered in venom, irritation with everything that came out of her mouth.

Miren bit back a loud scoff."Bastard…" he muttered, leaning against the doorframe of Ellis's bedroom.

Chizuko rolled her eyes at the mention of the CEO."You'd think he'd read the room and, y'know, not let something like this happen." She complained, toying with the heavy case in her hands that had her bass inside.

Carol sighed heavily, filled with aggravation because of the unexpected news."Unfortunately, I'm assuming that they're keen on letting Vil be in charge of the music video's visuals. Likely, they won't allow him to be replaced." She chimed in, resting her head on the hand while sitting close to Ellis's desk.

Ellis turned to Victoria, who was staring at the floor, eyes wide and possibly fuming in anger."You…. You don't need to have him in charge of that part of the production! You're the one who made the song, after all, I think you should have the final say on everything that goes on in the music video!" Ellis exclaimed, trying to stand up before plopping herself back on the pillows.

Yuuta folded his arms together."She's got a point, y'know. You don't have to let Vil join production if you-"

"It's fine."

The room fell deeper in silence.

Victoria inhaled, preparing to leave the room as she stood up and turned to face everyone.

"Whatever Vil says won't be enough to break me."

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Circe hummed, sitting on his bed while tweaking his guitar. He was cooped up in his room all day, never bothering to congratulate Vil after he became the head of the visuals for a music video.

Besides, he didn't even know who Vil was going to work with. At least not yet.

Hearing a knock on the door, Circe raised his head."Come in." He answered, quickly putting down his guitar once he noticed it was Epel.

Epel sent him a small and awkward wave."Hi… How have you been doing?" He asked, knowing Circe was a little upset by his presence.

"I'm fine. What do you need?" Circe asked without a hint of hesitation.

Epel glanced to the side for a moment."I just wanted to properly inform you on who the mentor of [ (Co)-connect ] is." He had his hands behind his back, along with a drop of sweat falling down his porcelain face.

This again?... Circe thought, squinting his eyes."Okay? Who is it?" He questioned, allowing his curiosity to pique for a couple of fleeting moments.

Epel inhaled sharply, looking as though he'd cry as soon as he told Circe who it was.

"The mentor is Victoria. And Vil's in charge of the visuals for the music video of her latest single. And… I think they're currently in the recording studio."

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Victoria giggled, gently patting Ellis's back and giving her a box of tissue to blow her nose and wipe away her tears.

"I didn't expect the song to touch your hearts to this extent…" her smile felt contagious, the gentleness of it all only made Ellis cry a little harder.

Juvia took a deep breath, wiping away her tears with a soft little smile."I-It can't be helped… The song's incredibly well-written." Juvia commented, trying to ignore the awkwardness at the realization of who was also in the room.

Vil was in the room. And he couldn't care less. At least, at first glance. Miren didn't admit it to anyone, but it seemed as though he caught Vil shedding a couple of tears after listening to the song.

Zen snorted."Haha- Sorry but-" he cut himself off, trying to fight back the laughter in his system."It's honestly kinda funny to see everyone in the room shed tears for Tori's song.." he wiped away a singular tear, snickering a bit.

Yuuta blew his nose and brushed it off with a confident smile."I could've sworn I saw Miren glance at Vil for a moment. Tell us, Miren, did he also have tears well up in his eyes?" Miren coughed awkwardly when asked the question.

"U-Um…" Miren stammered a bit, quickly noticing the scowl Vil sent him. As if to warn him that he shouldn't say anything.

It was enough for Victoria to know that the song managed to touch Vil's heart as well.

Just as Miren was about to answer the question, someone quickly opened the door, catching everyone's attention and taking it away from him.

Which was relieving for him.

Vil raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms."Circe?" He called out their name, confused as to why they were suddenly in the room.

Hearing the familiar name, Victoria audibly gasped and whipped her head to the entrance of the recording studio.

Circe was there. Right in front of her. After months of not seeing each other in person.

Standing up, Victoria felt unable to move for a moment. She felt her body go numb, feeling vulnerable…

She didn't like the feeling. Especially when it was in public.

But that's the least of her worries now. She didn't need to worry about it now.

With almost no hesitation, Victoria ran to Circe and pulled him into a hug. She was significantly taller than him, especially with the heels she wore.

Nevertheless, Circe smiled and hugged her back.

"I missed you too, Victoria…"

As everyone else was in awe by the sweet interaction the two were having, Vil was focused on texting someone.

Someone who will 'benefit' the production by a long shot.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Tagging:

@starry-night-rose @authoruio @nem0-nee @windbornearchon @fumikomiyasaki @sakuramidnight15 @geminiiviolets @knights-escort @crazyyanderefangirlfan @twsted-princess

[kehlana-wolhamonao3]

Mary and Edith’s dynamics in S1

Whenever I see people reducing Mary and Edith’s relationship in S1 just to Mary bullying Edith and Edith being her innocent victim, I wonder if we watched the same episodes.

What does Mary do to Edith in S1?

- she indeed bullies her a lot, mostly by cutting comments at every turn (and she can cut to the bone)

- makes a stupid bet with Edith regarding Sir Anthony and succeeds at stealing his attention from Edith for fun (but they were both in on it, none of them coming out looking good - Mary just won the bet)

- retaliates against Edith’s action with the letter by preventing Sir Anthony from proposing

What does Edith do to Mary in S1?

- gives as good as she gets in term of barbs (although she is less proficient at them than her sister, but it’s not for lack of trying). I saw it interpreted as self-defense and I could have accepted it, except for Edith’s other actions - see below

- spies on her (like when Mary went with the Duke of Crowborough to the attics)

- tries to humiliate Mary by calling her out on the things she spied on during a formal dinner with a potential suitor present 

- goes through Mary’s private things and reads her private letters

- sends a letter to the Turkish Embassy intended to completely ruin Mary’s life 

- acts with complete lack of remorse for the letter when confronted and calls Mary a slut

My take is that they both act absolutely horrid to each other, but while Mary restrained herself to cutting remarks until Edith raised the stakes, Edith actively worked against Mary however she could. I actually like Edith as a character and think she has the most visible character growth and very interesting story arch throughout the series, but I just cannot see her as simply Mary’s victim in S1.

[b1ackx]

Ok so…. This is my first post and I’m trying to create a concrete story outline for these characters I have and I’ve seen that a lot of y’all are rlly good at angst and well written ideas…. I was kinda hoping someone might help me write out more for these characters backgrounds and storylines….

Ummmm… so so far I have only some for two characters Duco and Nyleen, both are the main characters and imma introduce more characters later on and also post pictures later on (hopefully) to help with the picturing and stuff but uhh.. here’s what I have so far. Oh also btw these are in idea form, not story so pls don’t expect some sort of elaborate story, just ideas to solidify said story.

Duco and Nyleen story

In an everyday regular high school, Duco and Nyleen go to school

Duco is being heavily bullied and no matter how much Nyleen tries to protect him no one else helps and none of the teachers do anything so it’s kinda rlly bad

One day the bullying got rlly bad and in the end as soon as Nyleen got there to help she came in time to have her brother die in her arms

After the “accident” Nyleen has to deal with the fact that the so called popular students killed her brother

She starts to slowly go insane the more time she spent at school knowing the reason she no longer had her little brother was because of those people so she starts to intricately plan their deaths to be the most sadistic, violent, and painful deaths

She plans it for everyone who wronged her brother: their dad, the teachers, the bullies, the police, ppl who did nothing, etc

The only people who will be left alive are those who were actually their friends

Before she could put these plans into effect, she had to pretend to be nice to all of them. She became a “popular” only with the thought of homicide comforting her rage against the people who wronged Duco

After all the planning, Nyleen puts each and every plan to effect and succeeds, creating a huge massacre with only a select few surviving

After all was said and done Nyleen was killed by one of the survivors. She purposely left that one survivor alive knowing they would kill her

She didn’t fight back and just let them take her life

____

After Duco died, he was sent to heaven

As beautiful as heaven was represented on earth it was nothing like the actual thing.

It still had the same principles of how a good person would come to heaven and a bad to hell but it was corrupted and overrun by power hungry people who made it in with the loophole of doing good instead of meaning good

Duco tries to make it a better place, finding other good people and trying to form a strike against the corrupt system only to be cast down to hell and become a “Fallen”

____

After Nyleen had died, she was obviously sent to hell

In hell, as a “newborn” demon she was assumed to be weak and was sent off to an imprisonment camp where all new/weak demons, imps, devils, etc. were sent

Her rage and deeds put her into the demon category which in the hierarchy of hells power was the most powerful but not all demons are powerful and she was assumed to be weak like mentioned earlier

After killing her jailers and escaping the camp, she starts to gains respect and followers (not in the “oh your a good person” way but in the “Daym she killed them all” or “damn she could kill me rlly easily” way)

Sooner or later Nyleen becomes one of the most powerful and respected figures in hell

Years of self defense and fights for survival hardened her into a cold killer with no sense of mercy along with the thoughts of how the world had killed her brother and she no longer could be with him

At least until one day she witnessed a bright light fall from the top of the accursed cavern and land in her territory

Of course she went to check out what it was only to find her dead brother lying on the ground

For the first time since Nyleen had come to hell she cried

____

After falling, Duco landed in a sort of barren waste land

The first thing he saw when he came to was someone in front of him crying

Not knowing who it was he instantly tried to comfort them

That was until he heard that someone utter “Uco” (pronounced “you-co”)

He instantly recognized the name and replied “Nyl”? (Pronounced “Nile”)

He started to cry as well

After a while of them sitting there crying, embracing each other in a desperate hug, they were approached by a group of demons

They proclaimed themselves as the “council” and demanded that Duco would be sent to the camp

Nyleen obviously defended him, threatening them with her power, ready to tear each one limb from limb until they said that if they died or if she didn’t follow, they would call down the angels to finish him (Duco) off

(Angels and demons have no differences in their power levels but Nyleen knew that her power and respect would not last against both the angels and the “Council’s” group)

Nyleen only agreed with the condition that she would go as well

The council instantly agreed with the thought of getting rid of one of the most prominent and powerful figures in hell, giving them more power

Jokes on them, Nyleen got out on her own accord so she’ll do the same, just with her brother this time

__________

Additional details

The names Satan and Angel are titles, not beings or levels of powers

The title is given to the being with the most territory, followers/people, reputation, etc.

Like basically the person with the biggest, strongest mafia

Nyleen being Nyleen gains the attention of Satan who later approaches her, befriends her, and acts as her stand-in father

Meanwhile in heaven, before Duco gets kicked, he manages to gain the attention of Angel who also approaches and befriends him and acts as his stand-in mom

Names will be given later their names are N O T Angel and Satan. Those are just titles

Oh also….mom…. Dad….. hint hint

Oh also btw, both Angel and Satan are men. Not bc of the whole women are weaker sh1t but bc I want s o m e sort of gay in here bc I can（╹◡╹)

Also

The scars on Duco and Nyleen are indications of how they died…. Or at least show the wounds they had as they died

Duco’s scar across his cheek is from being thrown into the ground and heavily scraping his face

He also died from blunt force trauma to the head

Also if we wanna have more angst we can say that the bullies dunno that Duco was dead, so they taunted Nyleen about why he no longer came to school which drove her even closer to insanity

[stormcallgaming]

🖋️ Tiger’s Review; Bully

This has been 5 years and 4 months in the making and I don’t even know what to say about that lmao I’m so bad at starting things and taking eight lifetimes to finish them. In my defense, I get obsessed with stuff and focus only on that for a while but then I move on for a while (in this case 5 years pft.) I thank the Bingo, Kaleidoscope and Casual A-Z challenges for giving me the motivation needed to FINALLY finish this game.

Bully is one of those classic games that can easily withstand the test of time. It’s such a good game with a damn good story and pretty cool characters. The main character has that little brother feel to me and I had that feeling throughout my playthrough.

I wanted him to succeed so I tried my best. And by “tried my best” I mean I failed a shit ton of times. Which brings me to my first complaint. When you fail a mission, there’s no option to retry, it just kicks you out and you have to run ALL the way back to the NPC that gave you that quest. This is super annoying, especially if you’re like me and fail a lot. I ended up giving up a few times because I got tired of having to run back and do everything over lol This is pretty understandable given the game’s age, though.

Another really weird thing for me is the button layout. Like, instead of O being the back button, it’s triangle. The amount of times I sat there pressing the O button repeatedly wondering why the feck nothing was happening lol And to pause the game, you press the touch pad instead of options. L2 and R2 cycle through your weapons/items, while you aim with L1 and shoot with R1. That kept messing me up on Mass Effect because I was pressing the wrong button (but I did learn the Mako has boost so it’s not all bad.)

I didn’t learn this until I was literally on the LAST chapter of the game, but you have to press the left side of the touch pad to get the map up. As someone who gets lost easily, this would have been really helpful lol

The trophies are all pretty simple, at least for the PS4 version. I didn’t really have any trouble with any except for “Sharp Dressed Man.” I’m not really one to buy clothes in games unless it’s my own character, like GTA, so I only have a couple pieces bought.

Between running around trying to make enough money and trying to FIND all the clothes, I think this is the trophy I spent the most time on. I was so confused because I bought out all the clothing stores, the school shop and the fair but still hadn’t reached 250. I read that the barber shop sells clothes, but I went to two and they had none so I didn’t bother checking the third. Turns out, 3rd time really is the charm lol

One thing I really love about this game is the fact that, when the game ends, it doesn’t actually end. It lets you run around and continue whatever you missed so you don’t have to play through the game again to collect trophies. The fact that this game, old as it is, had the thought to do this while new games don’t is honestly incredible. They do make you sit through the credits first, though. No amount of button pushing can skip ’em.

I suggest getting the flower trophy out of the way before finishing art class. You CAN flirt with guys, but there’s only like 2 or 3 that you can flirt with while you can flirt with ANY girl. I wish they had put a bit more into the NPC students… there’s only a couple unique students in each clique before they just copy and pasted them a bunch of times. It was kind of offputting… and creepy.

Maybe it’s just me, but the kiss trophy was painful. It’s so cringey watching them makeout and I had to look away, it’s just uncomfortable lol And the thing with Zoe… it was so weird because he had literally met her TWO TIMES and then they were talking about love. Is that normal for fifteen year olds? Am I just old?

Speaking of romance, here’s a hot take: Johnny Vincent deserves better! The whole game, I kept wishing he would just break up with that cheating [redacted]. Why did he keep taking her back? She claimed to love him but as soon as he turned around, she was making out with another guy. Not just one, either, she was with basically the whole ass school okay.

My man deserves better. Period.

Speaking of characters, whats-his-face nerd leader was creepy and annoying as hell. I thought he was cute at first but after seeing how he behaves, he became uglier every time he was on screen lol Derby is cute but I want to punch him sometimes. He reminds me of Atobe from Prince of Tennis in a way. Russel is the man and he is a precious idiot, okay.

The gym teacher was also a creep and I hate him. Like I said before, Jimmy is great and I view him as a baby brother. Must protect. Finally, I felt bad for Pete. He’s such a good kid but everyone treats him like dirt, even Jimmy – I would smack him for this if I could. Honestly, I think he’s the only sane person in this whole damn town.

I almost forgot to mention Dual Nebula. This trophy requires you to beat the high score in three different arcade games. The sumo one is the easiest, in my opinion, it only took me two or three tries. The one with the squirrel flinging nuts is second. I died a bunch of times but most of that was because I was trying to glitch it, having ZERO faith that I could do it on my own. The glitch didn’t work and I made it! Finally, the hardest one is the monkey one. It took me sooo many tries to get this one because you can’t jump over the spiders, you just gotta wedge yourself in the corner and hope for the best.

It was fun, but it’s time to say goodbye, Bullworth.

I think I’ve covered everything I wanted to about this game. It’s a really great game and I highly recommend checking it out. I didn’t do a playthrough of this game, but I do have some clips posted and a bunch more waiting to be posted. You can check out my playlist here.

I started this game on September 5th, 2017. I completed this game on January 14th, 2023.

My rating: ★★★★☆ (4.5)

Honestly, I wish I hadn’t done the clothes one last. Just look at the damn platinum screenshot, it’s terrible ò_ó) I should’ve waited on the last quest for Kleptomaniac… oh well. Nothing I can do now.

[sasquapossum]

One of my favorite ideological hobby horses is the idea of proportionate response to situations. A lot of people seem to have only two modes: acquiescence and all-out attack. Unfortunately, those are usually not the only options that should be considered, and only rarely the best. Here are some examples.

In the law of war, risk of civilian casualties should be proportional to the importance of a military objective. To violate this rule of proportionality is a war crime. One could argue that war is always evil, or that a different kind of proportionality should be applied (see next example), but in a world where war exists this is still an important limiter on the amount of suffering that gets created.

In criminal law, actions taken in self defense must be proportional to the level of threat. To exceed that level of force is to commit an assault of one’s own. Again, it would be better if nobody ever attacked anybody else, but a slap doesn’t always merit a bullet to the head either.

Swearing. There’s a lot of territory between “polite” expletive-free speech and F-bombs every other word. If you can’t go five minutes without swearing, you’ve lost the “dynamic range” that true expressiveness requires. Your swears no longer have any punch. They’re just unimaginative noise.

Elections. A party that gets X% of the vote should get approximately X% of the seats. Countries that fail to adopt proportional representation inevitably end up locked in two-party madness.

NIMBYism. Preserving local environment and habitat (not talking about global stuff here) is important. Preserving history and local character is - perhaps a bit more arguably - also important. But higher-density housing also supports important goals - global environment, social justice, etc. If these concerns are given equal weight, then approximately half of such development proposals would succeed but in fact almost none do. Why? Because we have abandoned proportionality in favor of rules that systematically favor the blockers over the builders.

Online discourse. We’ve all seen people who will spend more time attacking their near allies (e.g. the “true left” attacking mere liberals, or people with strong opinions on LGBTQ/fandom/race issues attacking those with weaker but still similar opinions) than even acknowledging the existence of their actual polar opposites. Don’t say you haven’t seen it because it’s all over this site.

What these all have in common is a lack of proportionality or dynamic range. It’s all binary “if you’re not 100% with me then you’re my absolute enemy” thinking. How reductive. How simplistic. Consider this: escalation of conflict is as bad as - nay, the same as - initiation of conflict, but inevitable when you only have two settings. One could argue that a primary sign of maturity is an ability to match a degree of offense to a degree of reaction, and the language in which that reaction is expressed. Such “fine tuning” is worth learning and practicing. As I mentioned in the swearing example, consistent overreaction isn’t even effective. Instead of producing the clearly desired effect, it’s just as likely to be ignored (or blocked) as just another tantrum. If you go through the examples above, you’ll see that in every case over-reaction ends up harming the over-reactor as well. Why do that to yourself or your own cause?

[kazewhara]

valentine's day special!

# — pairing: albedo x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, albedo, various mondstadt characters

# — summary: the three times you bump into albedo, and the one time he bumps into you.

# — warnings: brief description of making out

# — tags: 3+1, fluff galore, mutual pining, getting together, first (desperate) kisses/making out, zuzu's totally compensating for his lack of a valentine

# — notes: happy valentine's day! you're a filthy simp and i've caught you on candid camera! 📸 (i say as though i didn't just write something about making out with albedo.) the last part is based on something that the 🧃 anon brought up in my asks a while back! also, i am so so sorry this is so long... can i get a wc, please? 🧍🏾 anyways, as always, reblogs and reactions/thoughts are greatly appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!

wanna join the tag list?

✧ — 🌼 — ✧

Ⅰ.

if you have to hear someone call your name one more time, you think you're going to explode.

all day, you've been running back and forth completing noelle's duties in her stead since she called in sick. you're not helpstaff like she is, but you're the only one who stepped up to cover for her -- a fact that you didn't learn until after your responsibilities had already piled up.

you have no idea how noelle does it all; not only does she clean each and every room from top to bottom, but she organizes files, helps certain knights with patrols, and clears out any lingering threats all in the span of a few hours. you're not incapable of doing those things, but you'd be lying if you said it wasn't exhausting.

in your defense, noelle was a special case; her job may seem mundane on the surface, but there was truly no one on teyvat quite like her. so you tried your best to fill her shoes.

although, you think as you stumble down the hallway with a large stack of books, maybe you should have just nursed her back to health yourself.

you can barely see over the books in piled in your hands, so you've resorted to using your instincts to help you avoid any obstacles and people. earlier, you narrowly avoided running into kaeya, who offered to help more than once. you turned him down each time, determined to complete the task you already started. he sent you off with a sigh, saying something about how you and noelle were too stubborn for your own goods. you ignored him and kept on your way.

after five more painful minutes, you finally make it to the entrance of the library and shuffle to the side to bump the door open with your hip. just as you nudge it though, the door swings open from the other side, and you jerk backwards in shock. "oh, no, no, no--!" you exclaim as you lose your grip on the books. everything you'd worked so hard to keep steady goes crashing to the floor around you and the person who opened the door.

you exhale sharply through your nose to keep yourself from swearing out loud. "i'm so sorry," you apologize on instinct as you bend down to start collecting the books. "i wasn't looking where i was going."

"no, forgive me," the person you bumped into apologizes smoothly, "i should have paid closer attention to my surroundings." before you can turn this into a battle of apologies, they bend down and begin picking up the books alongside you with a gloved hand. your eyes follow the person's arm up to their face, and you're finally able to see that before you is none other than the chief alchemist himself, down on one knee as he quietly helps you pick up your mess.

you barely manage to catch your groan of embarrassment in time. it comes out as high-pitched sound of pure distress and only succeeds in making albedo turn his focus to you instead of the scattered books. as if this day couldn't get any worse. of course you had to bump into him of all people. you, much like a number of other knights, have harbored a crush on albedo for quite some time now; what are the odds that you would (literally) run into him when you probably look worse than you have in years?

"are you alright?" albedo questions. bright teal eyes regard you with so much concern, you suddenly feel your stomach twist into the tightest knot imaginable. "did a book land on you? should i call a healer?"

"no!" you hurriedly reply. you've never wanted to curl into a ball so badly in your life. in an effort to spare yourself more humiliation, you hastily stack the rest of the books before albedo can grab any more. "i-i mean," you stammer as you resume your balancing act from earlier, "no, thank you. i'm really sorry again; i'll be more careful." you start into the library again but stumble yet again, but thanks to albedo's quick reflexes, nothing falls. you grimace. "i'm sorry, i--"

albedo rearranges some of the books in his own arms and calls your name so softly, you click your jaw shut. "you seem like you've been working hard enough today. you've done very well; allow me to help."

that wasn't a question. you flounder and miss your chance to stop him; albedo turns on his heel and heads into the library without another word, leaving you in the doorway with a light pile of books and an even lighter heart.

and as you watch him set the books down on a table near lisa, all that comes to mind is how you wouldn't mind hearing your name being called a million times over.

Ⅱ.

on the outside, hilichurls in dragonspine don't seem very different from the ones in mondstadt or windrise, but as you barely manage to dodge a cryo-infused arrow aimed for your shoulder, you understand that these things are a different breed entirely.

you've been in dragonspine for a day and a half at jean's behest to give albedo some company. she's worried that the lack of social interaction and actual sunlight will start to take its toll on him, so she sent you to provide one of the two things he was lacking. obviously, you asked questions, namely why she was sending you in particular since sucrose and timaeus were better suited for this job in every possible way. they were albedo's trusted students; they could provide company and assistance, both of which he likely needed.

not that you couldn't do that, of course. you're more than capable of following any instructions albedo may give you, it's just that... well, if he speaks to you, you'll stop functioning. ever since the day in front of the library, you've been avoiding him due to the sheer amount of awkwardness you felt knowing that he'd seen you so disheveled. fortunately for you (or unfortunately, since you couldn't watch him from afar anymore), he left for dragonspine a few days afterwards, allowing you some peace of mind.

that peace of mind was incredibly short-lived. you're now on dragonspine battling a few hilichurl shooters while trying not to disturb one insanely large hilichurl that you've never seen before. if jean hadn't told you to come here, you'd probably be with amber in sunny windrise, walking along a dirt road and keeping an eye out for any trouble. that sounds infinitely better than this.

the shooter hilichurls have impeccable aim, you have to admit as you charge the one that shot at you previously and cut it down with your pyro-infused sword. with that one gone, there's two left, not counting the monstrous hilichurl which you have yet to identify. you ready yourself to dodge the next wave of arrows by stepping backwards, but you immediately collide with something strangely firm. last you checked, there was nothing behind you, so what..?

a hand clamps down on your shoulder, and before you can process what's happening, you're pulled out of the way of the arrows and pressed further into the firm thing -- person? -- that you'd bumped into a second ago. you get your bearings and wrench yourself out of the person's hold to scold them but you're met with a familiar set of bright teal eyes.

it's albedo. your heart stops momentarily, making you cough.

"i heard the commotion on my way down the mountain," he explains quickly. you notice that he's already got his sword in hand, his grip on it as tight as ever. "i didn't think i would find you here. i'm glad you're unharmed." something akin to concern flickers across his face when you gape at him. "am i wrong? are you hurt?"

"uh," you reply intelligently. how are you supposed to talk to him in a situation like this? in a split second decision, you forego answering him and refocus yourself on the matter at hand. the hilichurl shooters have finished reloading and are taking aim at you two again. without a moment's hesitation, you close the distance between you and one of the shooters and drive your blade through its upper body. it did manage to loose an arrow that grazes your side, but you take it down as quickly and as quietly as you can.

the dying shriek of the last shooter gets your attention and you whip your head to the side to see albedo flipping his sword over in his hand as the hilichurl disappears. before you can thank him, albedo shakes his head sharply and looks over at the slumbering beast not too far away. thankfully, the commotion hadn't woken it up, but there was no telling if it wouldn't just wake on a whim. you two slink away safely and you follow albedo to his campsite, where you finally sigh with relief.

"thank you so much for your help," you breathe. your vision starts to swim, but you press the heel of your palm against your forehead and blink it back. albedo gestures to a chair that you're fairly sure wasn't there when you arrived, but you sit in it anyway. "i'm sorry you had to get involved, though."

albedo shakes his head and bends behind his desk to retrieve something. "there's no need to thank me, and even less need to apologize. especially not when you're hurt." he calls from his place. he rises and walks around the desk to kneel by your side. there's a first aid kit on the ground beside him; he must have seen your injury. you were trying to figure out if you should hide it or not, but as expected of the chief alchemist, he noticed it already. you don't put up a fight as albedo works away at your bleeding side, your mind too fuzzy to really focus on the fact that you can feel his warm fingers brushing against your skin.

"if you don't mind me asking," albedo speaks after a long silence, "why are you here? correct me if i'm wrong, but your duties never require you to be here."

you frown and blink rapidly to sort out your thoughts. does that mean he's been paying attention to you? no, you tell yourself, he's probably got every knight's schedules memorized. absent as he may be at times, he is an authority figure. "jean wanted me to..." you trail off. suddenly, you're all too aware of how ridiculous this is. if albedo wasn't mad before, he certainly would be when he hears your reason for being here.

albedo tilts his head to the side as he finishes tending to your wound. "yes? what did she ask of you?" you glance down at him briefly to see him peering back at you rather curiously. you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from getting lost in his eyes.

"she, uh... was worried about you. i was sent to do a wellness check." you admit. shame starts to burn your cheeks. "i'm glad that you're okay, but you ended up taking care of me and wasting your time."

albedo hums in understanding and returns the first aid materials to their place. "i see." is all he says. you open your mouth to spew more apologies, but albedo beats you to it. "she seldom worries about me, but i suppose it's a given, seeing as how i've been away for quite some time." he looks up at you from behind his desk and you swear you see a hint of a smile growing on his face. his expression softens subtly, but you think it's just your imagination (or the pain).

"yeah..." you murmur. you look down and brush your fingers over your injury, which is covered by your top. albedo is surprisingly good at this. you dimly wonder how many times he's had to treat something like this in order for him to be so skilled.

"i'm glad she sent you."

albedo's words give you pause. you silently gasp as your heart stops and restarts with the shock. surely he didn't just say what you think he said, right? did he say he was glad jean sent you as a person, or you specifically? what did he mean?

you try to force yourself to look at him and ask what he means, but your entire body has gone rigid; you're frozen in place, your eyes now fixed on your body. after a few silent seconds pass, you manage to choke out a hum in response, but that's all you can do. you press your lips together and will your heart to relax. perhaps you're just delirious from the pain, or perhaps you heard him correctly; either way, the corners of your mouth twitch upwards.

"and i'm glad you're okay." you finally respond.

(and perhaps it's for the better that you didn't look up, else you'd have seen albedo smiling at his desk with a hint of a blush blooming on his face.)

Ⅲ.

"oh, you're finally here," albedo greets you. he steps aside for you to enter his lab. "please, come in."

today, you're replacing sucrose as albedo's assistant while she and timaeus venture to liyue harbor in search of some research samples. you have no idea why she asked you in particular, but you certainly weren't complaining; the time you spend with albedo is often well spent, even if you might embarrass yourself here and there. not one to turn down an opportunity, you find yourself entering albedo's lab.

it's a little more organized than you expected it to be. you're awed by the way everything on the shelves at the back of the room seems to be color-coded and, if you squint, alphabetized. the tables are covered in all sorts of alchemical substances and gadgets, but there's a strange order in it all, one that makes you raise your brows.

"i take it this is your first time in here?" albedo's voice is colored with amusement. he walks past you and pushes some things around to make room for your work for the day. "you seem shocked."

not even two minutes in and you're already making a fool out of yourself. you clear your throat and walk over to his side. "i'm sorry, i just..." you avoid eye contact by looking closer at some liquid in a vial in front of you. "what with sucrose being... well, sucrose, and you being you, i expected something a little different." it's not until after you finish your sentence that you realize how blunt and borderline disrespectful you just sounded. you were honest, but celestia knows how offended albedo must be. "i-i mean--"

to your surprise, albedo actually chuckles. it's so quiet that you would have missed it if you hadn't seen the slight shake to his shoulders. "i understand." he sets up some equipment and hands you a pair of gloves that look rather familiar. "you're going to need gloves for what we're going to do today, but i'm afraid these are all i had."

they're his gloves, you realize. they're shorter than the ones he's currently wearing -- they stop at your wrists while the ones he has on travel further up his arms -- but the design is exactly the same. if this was happening a few months prior, you'd have frozen in place, but you've been around albedo so often lately that you've come to proper terms with your feelings. you take the gloves and slip them on your hands. they're a perfect fit.

really, you think as albedo starts to give you instructions, the amount of time you've been spending with him is actually a bit questionable. albedo hasn't left for dragonspine in upwards of a month, which is very out of character for him. he's been holed up in his lab, sure, but being able to see his face every other day is a little bizarre. you used to berate yourself for falling in love with a man you could only see once in a blue moon, but now, you're elated whenever he greets you in passing or when he asks if you want to spend time with him and klee. but you're not one to question blessings whenever they happen to you -- albedo is here, and you're the lucky soul who gets to bask in his presence.

speaking of which, he's standing behind you. technically, he's a little bit to your side, but with the way he leans forward over your shoulder to point out what you're doing wrong, you can almost feel his front pressing against your back. he smells faintly of formaldehyde, but there's the unmistakable scent of cecilias clinging to him as always. it's stifling, just how much you feel about albedo. you sigh and follow through on his corrections.

"you've got it." albedo praises you gently. you're so glad he can't see the giddy grin that threatens to split your face in two. "can you do me a favor and retrieve a book from the shelves back there, please? i'll take care of this in the meantime."

you nod and head to the shelves you were admiring when you first came in. they're just as organized as you thought they were, save for a few misplaced here and there. you take to scanning the little library for a few seconds before it suddenly dawns on you that albedo hadn't told you what you were supposed to get. or maybe he had, but you were too lost in your own world to really notice.

either way, you step back to ask him what you're supposed to get, but you collide with something solid that definitely wasn't there before. it startles you and makes you jump, and you whirl around to see albedo directly behind you, his bright teal eyes widening slightly. "i'm sorry," he says hurriedly. "i'd just realized that i didn't tell you what to look for. i was going to get it myself."

"i didn't hear you coming," you all but wheeze, placing your gloved hand over your racing heart. you know that you couldn't have run into anyone other than albedo, but you weren't exactly thinking just now. you've long since noticed that you're thoughtless when it comes to him. you laugh breathlessly. "were you trying to sneak up on me or something?"

albedo must not catch your joke, because he shakes his head, his expression not shifting. "if i was, i think you would know."

you don't think you want to unpack how vaguely menacing that sounds.

"what book were you trying to get?" you ask.

rather than answer you with words, albedo leans forward and over you, crowding you against the bookcase as he does so. you instinctively reach a hand up to press against his chest in an attempt to maintain some space between you two. at this distance, you can properly smell the cecilias that cling to his clothing. it's dizzying; you fight the urge to push him away. thankfully, he finds what he's looking for rather quickly, but when he returns to his initial position, you're sure your face is on fire.

"did you find what you were looking for?" you force yourself to speak in hopes that you'd be able to regain your composure. it doesn't take very long for you to reboot these days, but albedo doesn't respond immediately, and it sends you for a loop.

you turn your eyes to him to see that he's already looking at you. he seems to be deep in thought as he does so, and you almost look away. almost. "albedo?" you call his name softly. it's not unlike him to get lost in his own head, but he's looking straight at you. at least, you think he is; his eyes are on your face, but they don't seem to be focused on your eyes. "you still with me?"

"yes," albedo answers smoothly. "at least, i think so."

"you think?"

albedo takes your wrist in his hand and moves it away from his chest. "under normal circumstances, someone would have pushed me away by now." he doesn't let go of your wrist despite your very obvious flinch at his words. "but you didn't. even now, you're still here, not bothering to slip away from me." he lowers his voice and something flickers across his face; is it bashfulness? "how am i supposed to take this?"

how is he supposed to take this? what about you?! you're the one pressed against the shelves, not him!

admittedly, part of the reason you haven't moved is because you love being in close proximity with him, but who wouldn't like being chest to chest with their crush? the main reason you haven't moved is because you were trying your damnedest to appear normal. apparently, you were taking too long, because now he's onto you, looking at you with annoyingly dreamy eyes of his, and you don't know what to do.

flustered, you try to wriggle yourself out of his hold, but he doesn't let go. "it's just that you shocked me, is all." you hear yourself saying the words, but something tells you that that was the wrong thing to say. for some reason, you feel the urge to just confess here and now, but nervousness (and rationality) keep you from doing so. "i'll move, i'm sorry."

albedo shakes his head. "i wasn't telling you that so you could move." he says. he has the gall to take a step forward and crowd your space, making it so that your back is properly pressed against the shelves. "it was more of an observation. would you mind if i considered this our next experiment?"

you feel like a trapped animal. you're almost literally caught between a rock and a hard place here, and albedo's lowered tone isn't making it easy for you to process any of this. if anything, this reminds you of a scene you read in a book once and the very thought of it makes your blood run cold. in a moment's association, you can't stop yourself from asking:

"albedo, are you going to kiss me?"

it's a straightforward question and albedo gives you a straightforward answer. he finally lets go of your wrist and tucks his fingers beneath your chin. "may i?"

and like that, the dam you've been building over the past few months breaks. "please," you breathe almost desperately.

albedo obliges and kisses you hesitantly. it's a gentle peck on his part, and it upsets you more than anything has in the past couple of months. he doesn't get very far -- you take hold of his coat and huff.

"albedo, kiss me. please." your voice is small and foreign to your own ears; you're at the end of your own rope, forced there by albedo's hesitancy. you've waited so long for this moment and you want it to last, however long that will be.

fortunately for you, albedo doesn't question it. he leans back in and kisses you with a quiet, content sigh. your breath stutters when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, again with a hesitancy that drives you wild. it's as though albedo was asking you if you felt the same with his mouth alone. you're more than happy to answer him in kind, tilting your head and allowing him to deepen the kiss.

it takes a minute before either of you decide to pull away. when you finally do, you drop your head onto albedo's shoulder and he lets his hands fall to your waist. there's a surprisingly comfortable silence as you catch your breath. it's a miracle that your thoughts are as clear as they are. you feel light -- lighter than you have in months; your heart is beating strong and steady and your head is free of doubt. maybe that's why, when you think yourself stable enough to speak, you ask:

"and how am i supposed to take this?"

an honest to god snort leaves albedo, and a chuckle bubbles out of you at the sound. "if you're asking if i have feelings for you," he murmurs, "the answer is yes."

you hum, content. there's a calm that washes over you at his confession. you couldn't have possibly guessed that your feelings were mutual, not when you were as panicky as you were. but you're glad that this is how things turned out -- though 'glad' might be a bit of an understatement.

the two of you still have work to do, but neither of you move. you sigh and feel your shoulders droop. you lean back to look him in the eyes properly andfor a second, you regret it; though his expression appears as level as always, there's an affectionate glow on his face that says otherwise. archons, he's so cute. "albedo, why did sucrose ask me to help you today? wasn't there anyone else to help you?" you ask on a whim.

to your amazement, albedo's cheeks become dusted with a light pink. "ah." he glances to the side for a split second in a novel display of embarrassment. "that would be because i asked her to."

you gape at him. a thought occurs to you, but you restrain it before you can jump to conclusions. "why me, though?" albedo's cheeks darken just a touch more, and you immediately pounce on your assumptions. it nearly makes you choke. "did you... already like me?"

albedo doesn't answer you outright, but his answer is revealed in the way his eyes dart to the side once more. you must be staring really hard at him, because he sighs. "please stop looking at me like that." he shuts his eyes for a brief moment and meets your eyes when he opens them. "yes, i did. though i'm afraid 'like' may not be the right word to describe my feelings for you."

so not only were your feelings mutual, but the depth of said feelings were as well. this entire time, you were loving albedo and being loved by him simultaneously, and here he was, admitting that with the prettiest pink coloring his cheeks. you were never alone in this despite your efforts to make yourself think so. three months spent liking him from afar, and three months spent loving him up close. you don't know what to say.

"then don't say anything." albedo murmurs. you don't even get to process the fact that you'd spoken your thoughts aloud before albedo's lips slot over yours once more.

dimly, as you raise a hand to cup albedo's jaw, you make a mental note to thank sucrose for relaying his message to you.

Ⅳ. (or, the one time he bumps into you.)

there's a holiday in teyvat that people affectionately refer to as 'valentine's day'.

according to albedo's observations, it's most typically celebrated by lovers. customarily, they give each other a type of candy called chocolate and bouquets of freshly picked flowers, but every once in a while, some will do perform grander gestures like proposals or hire bards to serenade one another.

at first, he thought it to be asinine. lovers have every single day of the calendar year to prove their love to each other -- dedicating a whole day to this seemed pointless. assuming that you thought the same, albedo was ready to treat the day like he would any other. but then, he overheard a conversation between you and timaeus.

"a perfume for ying'er?" your voice is like a magnet for albedo's attention, forcing him to shift his focus from his experiment to you.

though today is technically your day off, you decided to stick around to keep albedo company. he typically doesn't much enjoy people who stick around for the sole purpose of sticking around, but as just about every knight knows, you are very, very special. albedo tunes in to your conversation but doesn't halt in his progress; he doesn't want to lose his place, nor does he want to get involved with a topic he knows nothing about.

eavesdropping. shameful as it is, he's eavesdropping. he grimaces internally.

timaeus chuckles nervously. "yeah, it's, uh... i feel like i didn't get to properly thank her for her help with the smoldersleet potion, so what better way to thank her than with a perfume, right?"

albedo hears you hum. are you impressed by timaeus' decision? "that's a good idea!" you say, confirming albedo's thoughts. "i think she'd love it. do you have a scent in mind for her?"

there's a painfully long silence before you speak again. "you don't know how to make perfume, do you?"

"i don't know how to make perfume, no." timaeus confirms at the same time.

you break into infectious giggles, ones that cause the corners of albedo's mouth to twitch upwards as he transfers a cerulean substance into another beaker. he's really only half-listening, but he'll admit that it is rather funny how timaeus is planning to do start something he'd be incapable of finishing. it isn't the first time he's done this, and it certainly wasn't going to be the last. albedo's warned him against this type of rash behavior more than once, but much like klee who often ignores his words in good faith, timaeus hasn't heeded a single warning.

"anyways, what about you?" timaeus clears his throat to get you to stop laughing at him. "are you doing anything for valentine's day?"

his question immediately silences you and, for a split second, albedo feels eyes on the back of his head. "i don't think i am, no." your voice is considerably quieter than it was before -- were you hoping that he wouldn't hear you? albedo feels the slightest twinge of guilt; he can easily stop paying attention now, especially since this topic really doesn't interest him all that much, but something your tone keeps him hooked. "it'd be a little weird, though," you continue, "i've never done anything for valentine's before."

there's some soft clinking. timaeus must be getting back to work. "oh, well, maybe this year something special will happen?"

you huff a laugh and again, albedo feels your eyes on his back. as bad as he wants to, he doesn't stop working.

"yeah," you all but sigh. "maybe."

and that's why albedo spent two days combing through the library archives for more on valentine's day traditions last week.

it's not like you were pressuring him into understanding more about this day of love. the only time he'd ever heard you talk about it was when you spoke with timaeus that day in the lab. but as brief as that conversation was, albedo felt as though you were hinting at something.

there was always the idea that maybe you were talking just to talk; after all, you never did say anything about valentine's day after that, nor did you ask him for his thoughts on it. it was almost like you didn't care about it, and for some reason, that didn't sit well with him. so, albedo got to thinking, and after four days of agonizing over what to get you, he's finally done it; your gift rests in a small, cream-colored frame box decorated with a blush pink silk ribbon. he thinks it's perfect.

unfortunately, when valentine's day comes around, he can't find you.

albedo spends just about the whole day searching high and low for you -- he asks lisa, who tells him to ask kaeya, who laughs and directs him to jean, who simply admits that she hasn't seen you all day. by the time he gets to jean, however, he's already exhausted his motivation to give you your gift. albedo has been out of his depth for quite some time, now; he often retreats to dragonspine when he's in need of some solitude, but he's been in the city for you and you alone for upwards of three weeks, now. you told him to go whenever he wanted, but he couldn't bring himself to.

albedo lets his feet carry him to starsnatch cliff just before sunset. it's not dragonspine, but it'll do. up here, it's nothing but him and the cecelias that blow in the breeze; it's where he goes when he's in the city for long periods of time. when he arrives though, he finds that he's not alone. towards the cliff edge is you, sitting amongst the flowers. a gentle breeze blows in and albedo feels his breath go with it.

there you are.

"you're here." albedo speaks after a stunned silence. he would have brought his sketchbook with him to capture the moment, but since he was under the impression that he'd be spending the whole day with you, he left it in his lab.

you jump at the sound of his voice and twist around to face him. your eyes are comically wide and there seems to be a curse ready to fly past your lips, but you visibly relax when you see that it's just albedo. you groan, and albedo has to press his lips together to keep from laughing. "can you please make some more noise when you walk?" you twist back around and sigh heavily. "why do you keep sneaking up on me?"

your lover pads over and carefully seats himself at your side, resting the box with your present on his lap. he takes one of your hands in his own and notices that in your other arm, you're cradling a small bouquet of cecilias that have been tied together by a baby blue silk string. he knows for a fact that he didn't give those to you. there's a sharp sting in albedo's chest when he remembers that on valentine's day, people will gift things to those they admire or wish to court. it's not surprising that you'd have an admirer (or even a few), but to see you still holding a gift from them at the end of the day makes his gift to you feel like a weight in his lap.

"i was looking for you all day," he says quietly. you squeeze his hand and he looks back at you. you're smiling at him, but there's an obvious apology in it. forget the present -- he belatedly realizes just how much he missed you today. "is this where you were?"

your eyes drift to the side and your smile becomes strained by what albedo can only assume is awkwardness. "uh... something like that, yes." you fix your hand in his so that you can rub circles into the back of his hand. "it's valentine's day, so i did a bit of running around after my duties."

so you did care about the holiday? if that's the case, you haven't seem to notice the box in his lap yet. did you think he wasn't going to get you anything? "jean said she hadn't seen you all day, so i somewhat figured that you were dispatched elsewhere."

"that's... i told her to say that." you confess. "i had a feeling you'd ask since i had to stay away from you to make everything a surprise."

well, color albedo suprised. "'everything' ?" he echoes.

you nod with a shaky hum and let go of his hand to push the bouquet towards him. for a second you looked about ready to evacuate yourself with embarrassment, but albedo must have quite the look on his face, because you burst into giggles. "don't look so shocked!" you say breathlessly. "i did my best to get the best ones for you."

albedo gingerly takes the flowers from you. cecelias don't have the strongest scent, but when put together like this, he can smell them with every inhale. it coats his insides in something smooth and intoxicates him, and the smile on your face only makes it worse. "you took all day for this?" he asks as a bit of an afterthought.

"of course not!"

"what?"

"you think i'd take all day to pick a few flowers for you?" you tease. "well, it did take some convincing on my part because i had to ask jean to let klee come up here with me."

"you... picked these with klee?" albedo's thoughts have never stalled so badly in all his years of existence.

your smile softens. "i did." you point to a little red envelope that albedo hadn't noticed before nestled between the petals. he pulls it out and opens it find a card created by klee. while he reads it, you keep talking. "she was a little too excited to get you a gift, so of course, that landed her back in solitary for the day, but i bought her some chocolate and promised to take her back up here for an outing some day."

"i see..." albedo's in complete shock. you always manage to take his breath away, don't you? for months, you've been the cause of his every irregularity, and it seems that there's no stopping you. he starts to try and thank you, but you shake your head. "hm?"

"this," you begin as you reach into your pocket, "is... kind of self-indulgent, but it involves you, i promise." you pull out a small jewelry box and open it to reveal a star-shaped pendant on a thin golden chain. beside it is another pendant on a chain that's shaped like the solar isotomas he often makes, but if albedo isn't mistaken, that star looks an awful lot like--

he reaches up with his free hand to rest his fingers on his neck. "did you--"

you beat him to the punch. "i wasn't sure if you'd like this one, honestly. i know how you feel about your mark. but..." you reach back and clasp the necklace with the star around your own neck. it rests prettily on your sternum and glints in the pale orange rays of light from the sun as it sets. "i wanted to match. i mean... if that's okay with you."

wow.

when albedo did his research, he'd done it with you in mind -- the plan was to give you gifts today, not the other way around. and yet here he sits, completely awestruck by you and the way you keep shyly glancing away from him to look at the sun setting on the horizon. it's not like him to be speechless to this degree, but what is he supposed to say? the flowers were one thing, and honestly, he would have been satisfied with just that, but your necklace?albedo openly told you one day that he sees that star on his neck as an imperfection -- as a scar of sorts. so for you to have something like this made in his image -- for you to want to share in his imperfection so wholly...

"happy valentine's day, albedo." your voice is quiet, demure as you hand him the box with the remaining necklace in it. "i love you."

and oh, how he loves you too.

albedo takes a deep breath and tries his best to come up with the proper words to say. "i'm... if i'm being honest, i'm not sure how to give you my gift anymore." he blinks a few times, hoping that would somehow clear his head. "i feel mine is rather inadequate in comparison."

"you got me something?" your eyebrows shoot to your hairline. you must not have been expecting him to celebrate with you. but that also means you haven't noticed the box on his lap the entire time. you do now, though -- your eyes widen a bit when you register what it is. "you really didn't have to, i--"

"i wanted to." albedo cuts you off.

you frown a little bit. "but i know how you feel about this kind of thing..."

a valid concern, he thinks. "in light of recent events, i've given it some more thought." a cheeky response, but it gives him the perfect opportunity to rest the box on your lap. you give him a wary look but open it anyways, and albedo can't help but smile at your reaction.

inside the box atop a velvet cushion is a silver bracelet. it looks a bit plain at first glance, but it was made with you in mind; albedo can tell that you realize that there's more to this bracelet right away. you lift the jewelry out of the box and rest it in your palm, your mouth slightly ajar. "it's... ley line branches?" you ask. albedo nods and reaches over to help put it on you. "how did you..?"

"i've been experimenting with ley line branches for quite some time," he explains, "and i've finally found a use for them outside the lab."

"what do you mean--? oh." your question is answered when little silver flowers begin to bloom around your wrist. the buds open and spread with a flourish, and he can hear your breath catch. "albedo, this is... you didn't have to..."

"it will bloom whenever you want it to." albedo's ears start to burn beneath his hair. the bracelet will bloom under very specific circumstances; it seemed reasonable at the time of creation, but suddenly, saying it out loud seems less than ideal. "specifically, whenever i'm thinking of you." you ask him how that's possible and he slowly pulls off the glove on his right hand to reveal a similar bracelet on his own wrist. "mine will do the same when you think of me."

you bite the inside of your cheek as a sheepish smile slowly blossoms on your face. "it'll never stop blooming then." you joke.

"and neither will yours." albedo replies seriously. you choke and he chuckles. he leans forward and takes your face in his hand, brushing his thumb over your cheek. you lean into his touch, and for the hundredth time that evening, albedo feels a burst of warmth surge through him. as often as it happens with you, he'll never tire of it. "i didn't say it earlier," he murmurs and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, "but i love you, my star."

you pull him in for a proper kiss and peck his lips two more times for good measure before replying. "i love you more."

albedo exhales a laugh through his nose. "and i love you most."

✦ i know the ending is a bit rushed, but that's probably because holy FUCK i haven't written this much in so long!! holy fucking shit, i finished one of my drafts!! AND PUT IT UP ON A HOLIDAY? THAT'S CRAAZY

✦ anyways, happy valentine's day, you guys. i really really hope you enjoyed this!

[sunnyie-eve]

Deserve Love || Our Son

Paring: Prince Paul (Catherine the Great 2019) x Original female character

Word Count: 2257

Summary: Paul and Lilia aren't exactly happy with Catherine acting like their son is her own and not theirs.

Warnings: none

Last: First Love | Next: Loyal

As time went on after the wedding I found out I got pregnant again. Everyone was happy and don't get me wrong I was too but just worried. I lost the last one what if it happens again. How would Paul react since he's the most excited one out of all of us. "How are you feeling today, darling?" Paul joins me in the study as I write notes down. "Tired, nervous, and scared." I put my pen down to rest my face into my hands. "Everything is going to be just fine. You don't need to put stress on you and the baby." He takes a seat next to me. "But what if it happens again?" I look up at him. "Then we keep trying till we succeed." He says making me slightly chuckle. "Keep trying for a baby or just keep having sex because you like it?" I raise an eyebrow. "Both reasons." He gives me a big smile. "You're a pig."

"I am not. You love it just as much as I do. You can't fool me, Lilia. All the teasing you do throughout the day. You're so needy." He leans over kissing me. "I'm the needy one?" I say shocked. "Who is always crawling into my bed when I want a break from you taking up the whole big bed? You always have to sleep right up on me. Then when I go to my bed you whine crawling over to me; Lilia, darling why did you leave me all alone? I need you to sleep well at night. Help me fall back to sleep now. Please, just real fast?" I mock him. "You're my wife! Sorry if I want to share a bed with you." He gets defensive. "How often did Natalia and you share a bed?" I ask him. "That's different. You aren't her and she wasn't you." He explains to me.

"As I said, our child will be fine. They will be born healthy and you will be just fine as well." He kisses my hand he took a hold of. "I know you want a son, of course all men in royalty do, but if you have a daughter?" I ask him. "I will still love her and we would raise her to be just like you. Just like your father, I too will let her marry whoever she wants. She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to." He makes me smile. "Based off how I'm feeling like last time I was pregnant... we're most likely having a boy." I add. "That's great. Then after him we can try for a girl for you then maybe more children. Make sure my, our, bloodline is long and strong." He makes me laugh at him.

As more time passes we knew the baby was coming soon. "That thing is still in you?" Thaddeus comes to visit me with Aloisia. "It should be any day now." I rub my belly walking over to them. "Where's your husband." He asks taking a seat. "Somewhere with Panin." I assume taking a seat. "Are you nervous?" Aloisia asks me as Thaddeus gets up leaving the room. "Of course I am. There's a possibility I can die giving birth." I make her giggle, "Are you seriously laughing at me?" I glare at her. "You're going to be fine and so is the baby. Speaking of have the two of you discussed names yet?" She asks with a smile. "If a son, Alexander. If a daughter Elena... Paul is very set on those names." I smile. "How many are you both wanting?" She asks. "Who knows. It all depends on Paul if you get what I mean." I give her a look.

"He's one of those guys..." She laughs while I start to feel pain and my water break. "What's wrong?" She asks me worried. "The baby is ready." I look at her in shock and she starts to yell for help. I'm rushes to a room and get set to give birth. It literally was the worst pain in my life and makes me never want to have another baby again. "About time you show up." I see Paul enter the room. "Come meet your son." I smile as he rushes over and I carefully pass him our son. "He has your eyes." He smiles at the baby. "And your nose..." I joke with him. "Not funny." He gives me a look. "He's still adorable." I smile as he takes a seat next to me still holding our son. "When do you think my mother will try stealing him away?" He gives me a look. "Thanks for reminding me..." I huff starting to feel sleepy. "You should get some rest, darling. I'll put our son to sleep." He gives me a kiss as my eyes get heavier.

I wasn't surprised Catherine took a liking to our son right away. Thankfully she didn't take him away like her mother in law did with Paul right away but I could see what she was doing. "It starts now." I whisper to Paul as she starts to walk off with Alexander. "As it seems." He whispers back with a forced smile. "It's the one negative thing that comes with marrying you." I turn to face him. "My mother? I thought you liked her?" He turns to face me. "Certain situations but I will not be like her where my mother in law acts like my son is hers. I will not have my son just taken from me." I snap  quietly. "We won't let that happen." He gives me a kiss. "Well we are and I'm failing. Excuse me." I leave his side going to Catherine.

"Excuse me, your majesty. It's Alexander's nap time. I should go put him to sleep." I let her know. "Oh, I can do that." She smiles at me. "No, you're very busy." I try taking him from her but she won't let me. "I'd like to put my son to sleep." I finally get him. As I get to my room I sit down to put him to sleep and when I do Paul comes in. "I'm sorry about her." He sits next to me. "Don't apologize for how she is." I let him know. "Ready to have another one? Try for a girl she'll probably leave her alone..." Paul takes my hand into his. "She should leave my son alone." I get up going over to the bassinet. "I know you'll do your best to stand up for yourself and our son." Paul joins me.

Soon Potemkin was back after successfully doing what he went out to do for Catherine and Russia. Catherine decided to celebrate and I was slightly worried about the fireworks scaring Alexander. "He's doing a lot better with the fireworks than I thought." I say holding him as Paul and I watch the fireworks. "Well we are a good distance for him not to be scared." Paul smiles at him. "I still can't believe I have a son with you. I'm still can't believe I'm married to you." I smile at Paul. "Good or bad?" He asks. "No bad way. Just never saw this." I smile at Alexander. "At least we make cute babies. So we'll never have any ugly children." He says making me laugh. Catherine ends up coming over to us and talks to the baby before taking him right out of my arms.

"Where are you talking him, Mother?" Paul asks as I look at him. "Oh, I'm not stealing him, darling." She chuckles. "Lilia understands, don't you?" She gives me a smile so I force one before looking at the ground. "We can be friends now, can't we? Now you've given me a son." She asks Paul. "Grandson." I look up over at her. "He's your grandson. He's my son. He's my son." Paul forces a smile too. She had nothing to say except to start walking off with him again. "When do we get him back, Mother?" Paul asks her. "In five years, when he's reached the age of reason." She says making me tilt my head some. "That was a joke." She chuckles. "Sure it was." I say under my breath as Paul turns his back to her so I touch his arm. "My son... not hers." He says through his teeth. "Trust me, I know."

"She still has him. She still has my son." Paul paces around the room as I sit in bed reading a book trying to ignore the fact Catherine still had our son. "I would love for you to quit reminding me, Paul." I close my book hard. "He's normally put to bed at this time. He should be sleeping in here right now." He points at the bassinet. "Trust me Paul, I know when I normally put our son to bed." I say as the door opens and a worker brings Alexander to Paul. "Thank you." He says as she leaves and brings him over to me. "Someone looks tired." I sit up more taking him from Paul to put him to sleep. "I hate that woman." Paul gets in bed with me. "I'm starting to at times." I look over at him. "I just don't want her to do what my grandmother did with me. I want to see my son. I want to see him grow up. I don't want her taking my son away from me." He shakes his head. I get out of bed to put Alexander in his bed and stare at him.

"I feel like you care more about her taking him from you not just me. You keep saying my son, my son, when he's our son. I carried him for nine months, I gave birth to him, Paul. He's my son too. He's our son." I turn to face him. "I know he's our son. I didn't mean for it to seem like he's just my son. I don't want her doing what happened to her with me to you with Alexander. I'm sorry I keep saying my son instead of our son. I just can't stand her." He gets up walking over to me taking my hands into his. "I'm sorry, darling." He kisses my forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed out. I just don't want to lose him. I don't want her taking him from us." I sigh as he walks us over to the bed. "Don't apologize for your feelings. I love you." He holds me. "I love you too."

~

"What's wrong, darling?" I ask Paul as he marches into the room extremely pissed off. "Potemkin and my mother are making me, us, go on a state visit to the Austrian court! And, and! She said we will leave our son with her!" He snaps making me stand up, "Excuse me? Leave our son with her?" I walk pass him to find Catherine to ask her why. "Your Majesty..." I find her. "Lilia, darling." She gives me a smile. "Why exactly do Paul and I have to leave Alexander with you while you make him go to visit the Austrian court?" I ask her tilting my head slightly. "Just to make sure he stays safe here." She smiles. "What makes you think he's not safe with us?" I ask. "Just incase, darling. I thought you would understand." She stares at me. "Sadly I don't understand. What I think though is you're trying to take Alex-," She cuts me off. "Lilia. You will go with your husband and leave my grandson with me. Do you understand stand? That's an order." She narrows her eyes at me.

When I get back to our room I pick up a vase slamming it to the ground startling Paul, who was over by the baby. "Darling..." He looks over at me. "I officially hate that woman." I look down at the broken glass in the floor. "What did she say? What did you say?" He picks up Alexander walking over to me. "That I don't understand why our son can't go with us. She says because it's to keep him safe and I should understand that. I tried telling her I don't but I think she's trying to take him from us. She cut me off though and said I will go with you, I will leave her grandson with her, and that's an order." I explain taking Alexander from him. "Hopefully it won't take too long so we can have him back." He sighs.

As we get ready to leave, I didn't want to let go of Alexander. "What use are you to me if you cannot help me? Mm? What use are you to anyone?" Paul goes off on Panin making the baby cry so I try to stop him. "Shh, it's alright." I bounce him and Paul tries to get him to stop too. "Now, remember, charm at all times. The Emperor Joseph is sparkling company, and we need his support for what we're doing in the Crimea. So..." Catherine joins us. One of the lady servants comes over to take Alexander from me and I didn't want to give him over. "Don't worry, darling. I'll take good care of him. Just as your grandmother looked after you." She tells me then Paul as I finally give him over. "I hardly ever saw you. But we survived, didn't we?" She tells him and Alexander cries more as he's taken away and we get in the carriage.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

For the character ask game, what about Boromir? --tolkien-feels

Ooh, good one! Thank you!

One thing I love about them: His sense of responsibility. The thing about the Ring is that, when targeting good people, it doesn’t tempt them using their bad qualities, but using their good ones. Gandalf says it outright (the way of the Ring to my heart is by pity, pity for weakness and the desire for strength to do good). Sam suggests it to Galadriel, and her response implies it was already on her mind:

Sam: You’d put things to rights…You’d make some folk pay for their dirty work!

Galadriel: I would. That is how it would begin. But it would not stop with that, alas!

And it is the same with Boromir. He feels a strong sense of responsibility for his city and his people; he knows that they are in deadly danger, he knows it is his job as their commander to see to their defense, he knows they are vastly outmatched in military terms. And he knows they have no allies from whom they can expect reinforcements (remember what Théoden is like when we first see him in TTT). He knows time is of the essence; he took the time to go to Rivendell in hopes that they would offer something useful; and instead he’s been dragged far out of his way and the company decided to waste a month dilly-dallying in the unsettling forest. He needs to get home, and he’s not happy at the prospect that none of his companions will go with him and this whole journey will have been for nothing.

It is a devastating weight to know that you have to do a particular job right, to know that many people including your loved ones will suffer terribly if you don’t succeed, and to feel that you don’t know how to do it. And it’s that weight, much more than the desire for glory, that drives Boromir’s desire for the Ring. It looks like the only way out.

One thing I wish people realized about them: There’s a particular line in the appendices that I find hilarious and everyone else seems to be sleeping on it.

It did not seem possible to Faramir that anyone in Gondor could rival Boromir, heir of Denethor, Captain of the White Tower; and of like mind was Boromir.

It takes a second. It’s not saying the brothers thought each other were awesome; it’s saying, “Faramir thought Boromir was awesome. Boromir also thought Boromir was awesome.” It’s such an iconic piece of characterization offered in such a great, understated way.

One (or more) headcanons I have about them: He’s an outdoorsy type. Goes hiking in the White Mountains when he’s off duty, which is why he knew what to expect from Caradhras.

A second one: He didn’t particularly want to be Steward of the City. He admired and respected his father and had a high opinion of the steward’s position and prestige, and he understood the job would be his responsibility, but he preferred frontline combat to politics and governance. And he canonically wasn’t interested in romance, but the succession would have required getting married. The appendices specifically compare him to Eärnur, the last King of Gondor, who rode to Minas Morgul for a duel with the Witch-king and left no heir.

Third: Denthor sent him and not Faramir to Rivendell not just because ‘the way was difficult and dangerous’ but because he trusted that Boromir would put Gondor’s interests first, whereas Faramir might get caught up in the elven-ness of it all and get roped into anything.

One character I love seeing them interact with: This is challenging, because it involves untangling the movie and the books. In the movies, I love his interactions with Merry and Pippin; in the book, he has very little interaction with them, and I think this was a good addition on the movies’ part. In the book, the bulk of his interactions are with Aragorn. One that stands out to me, and that I find quite entertaining, is when they’re boating down Anduin and Boromir has been disagreeing with Aragorn on the route for a while, and they hit the rapids of Sarn Gebir and Boromir thinks it’s intentional. Paraphrased:

Boromir: Once again [as with Caradhras, and Moria, and Lothlórien], I think this is a very bad idea!

Aragorn: OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THAT!

One character I wish they would interact with / interact with more: I very much wish we’d gotten more / any ‘on-screen’ interactions between him and Faramir! And Denethor. There’s a lot of interesting family dynamics there to explore.

One (or more) headcanons I have about them and one other character: If he’d lived, he would have liked Éowyn a lot, and entirely approved his brother’s choice.

[ciceroprofacto]

How Would you describe the impact of Laurens' death on Hamilton (other than gay heartbreak makes you evil)

it's been a little while (~2 years) since I read a biography about Hamilton to really give you a detailed answer with specific examples from his actions throughout life, so this is mostly a ~vibe check~ but I think there's a sort of consensus that he became progressively more cynical about the 'common man' over time (more elitist) and I blame that very strongly on John Laurens's death.

and, to be fair- becoming more elitist tends to happen- you become kind of protective of the systems through which you've gained wealth and power (more conservative)...but that transition seems to have already taken place by the time Hamilton started out in politics because his more-democratic sentiments seem confined to his youth-

-by that I'm referring to the fact that he benefitted from his community's support which pushed him to get an education and then he was a member of a militia that voted him into a leadership role. and- don't get me wrong- these things don't necessarily prove that he had a positive view of common people, but they at least show that he had a sort of collective appeal to the people around him that they saw him as an advocate for their interests. definitely more-democratic then when you have him as an older man, (a pseudomonarchist) suggesting that the president should serve a lifelong term...

So, it's my thesis that two big developments in his life contributed to settling his paradigm as an elitist, destined to permanently-engrain the worship of private-property and capitalism in the American psyche:

He gained a secure position in a legitimate institution (the Continental Army) under the most powerful man in America, firmly setting himself up to succeed in the existing social power structure which largely-mirrored and was economically-dependent on British mercantilism. (we become defensive of systems through which we've gained wealth and power)

The one man, who met all of his qualifications of character and intellect, who held purely-democratic ideals and could have helped him take an idealistic stance during multiple instances of mass-stupidity, died young and therefore was not there to convince him it was possible or worth the effort to trust the masses to manage governance. (we are who we surround ourselves with)

basically- Laurens died just young enough to confirm Hamilton's 'great man' complex and too young to convince him of its bullshit.

like- do I think that if Laurens had survived we would have Democratic Socialism as a globally-hegemonic economic system? no- probably not. Hamilton had a major role to play in establishing the financial system of a country that would; through a confluence of geographic, demographic, and internal and international political coincidences; just happen to catapult its economic influence into global stage, but that doesn’t mean he single-handedly established the hegemony of Capitalism that we have today. it took decades for mercantilism to solidify as capitalism and then decades more for criticisms of capitalism to emerge in coherent-enough ways to be actionable. this thing called 'economy' exists as an unfortunate progression. but, by the time criticisms of capitalism existed, we might've not been so deeply-entrenched in the idea that the only ways to manage the means of production were privatization or government control...

also-none of this is even to speak of how the codification of 'race' got tied up into perpetuating the anti-democratic, elitist power structure of America and how John Laurens could have played some role in influencing that...

[ayatoslover]

A look into Ayato Sakamaki

Ayato Sakamaki “analysis”/overview/why I love him so much/I can’t express myself I’m so sorry if this sounds like nonsense ramble and just basic stuff and prints and not actually explaining or analyzing anything no steppy I try my best

Usual disclaimer: Diabolik Lovers and it’s characters are a work of fiction. None of the things that happened are acceptable in real life and I’m in no way excusing his abuse and behavior.

I’ve seen some people comment on how Ayato is kinda bland and doesn’t have too much development but I disagree!! He might not be as deep and emotionally/psychological interesting?? as let’s say Laito but he’s still pretty interesting!

Like many of the diaboys (all of them???) Ayato was abused both physically and mentally by his mother, pushed into being “the best” in order to succeed his father, nothing he ever did was fine or good enough, all he wanted was to be praised by his mother and have her acknowledge he was doing something right.

x

The overwhelming pressure Cordelia put on him to be “the best” and don’t let anyone stand in his way made him the person he is today, often described as narcissistic when it’s actually the opposite. He suffers both from superiority and inferiority complex, claming himself as “the best”, calling himself with the suffix “-sama” so he can keep fueling his low self esteem since no one else does unless he pushes them to.

x

x

x

Ayato lives on praise and affection, all he ever wanted from his mother. He wanted to play around with his brothers, earning him getting hurt by her, rarely ever getting a word or gesture of affection.

also after this, ayato kept demaning for yui to stroke his hair

x

x

Since the person who was suppose to give him love and affection didn’t, he made sure never to trust anyone ever again or to “make anyone special” in his eyes so he couldn’t get rejected.

Later on the Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅱ, Ayato and Laito talk about their childhood. How Ayato wished Laito had helped him and how he knew something was wrong with his brother and Cordelia and if they both haven’t shut themselves up they could have helped each other enduring their mother.

x

Because of his childhood, he grew angry and bitter, “developing” his sadistic personality which allowed him to overpower his “victims” making him stay on top and “be the best”. He abused the heroine, putting her down, degrading her and hurting her physically in order to have control and feel like he is better than her by overpowering and making sure she knew her place whenever she defied him (in his eyes) even going as far as raping her (implied) when Kanato almost drank her blood (focus on the almost, he didn’t actually do it, Ayato arrived before it but just the fact that she “allowed” to someone even get close to her and almost bite her, him not being in control at all, made him lose it), which made him feel like he wasn’t in control of her, something that he was sure to have.

x

He gets defensive and agressive, turning to hurt her when she tries to sympathize and reason with him, since he doesn’t want to be seen as weak and as someone who needs help. Violence and hostility is how he stays in control making sure nothing and no one afects him making him lower his guard and feel inferior.

x

Making her feel terrified is one of the ways he feels like he’s in control, making her feel small and fearful of him gives him the boost of power and control he so desperately needs and craves.

x

x

Eventually and very slowly (still a long way to go but he spent hundreds of years suffering so it’s not that easy lol) he grew up from his mistakes and what happened to him and is healing over time (Which is Karl’s whole objective). In Dark Fate he is confronted with Cordelia once again and every feeling came to the top. Eventually he understood that what she did to him was because of Karl (abuse and manipulation being a circle, Karl did it to Cordelia, Cordelia do Ayato and Ayato to Yui) and although he doesn’t forgive her he understood what happened and even shows slight concern for her.

x

x

In his More Blood route (Ecstasy epilogue), it’s shown that despite feeling relieved when he killed his mother, he also cried, deep down feeling a little bit of guilt. After that, Karl shows up in front of him, asking how and why he became so twisted to the point of killing his own mother. After that he probably realized that Karl “was behind” what Cordelia did to him and his brothers. Also in his Dark Fate route, he refuses to accept Karl’s powers due to the suffering he had caused Cordelia and, consequently, him and his brothers. Only when Karl attacked Yui, since he had “no use for her” because Adam “didn’t want to be Adam” is that he grabbed a sword and fought him. 

x

This particular scene, while it shows his possessiveness and the urge to stay on top and in control, not wanting his father to “take what’s his” and the usual “only I can hurt her” sort of feelings, taking into consideration his whole route, where he shows some healing, even apologizing to Yui a couple of times and seeing his mother once again allowed him to have some sort of closure, especially when she told him to “become the best” for Yui’s sake, it also shows that he actually cares about her.

He takes time realizing and accepting he doesn’t see her only as his prey but as someone he wants to love and cherish since she gave him the love he never had. Even after realizing those feelings he doesn’t truly accept them in his heart, still often punishing her, sucking her blood harshly to “stay on top”.

x

In his More Blood route, Vampire Ending he falls into some sort of coma and when he wakes up after several years he asks her to marry him since during the time he was asleep she kept appearing in his dream calling out for him. 

x

Still in his More Blood route, After Story, he goes as far as studying and getting into college so he can afford a house for the both of them since they’re married.

x

He's cruel, cold and sadistic, there’s no sugar coating that. He built that barrier so no one else could hurt him like his mother did.

Also Karl mentions that Vampires are cruel and sadistic by nature, they had given up the ability to love for immortality and their powers, he knew what the boys were going through and he knew what they’d become. And that’s where the Adam and Eve plan comes. By drinkin Eve’s blood they slowly learn human feelings, learn how to love and feel, making them Adam, a pureblood vampire that learned how to love again, thus, being able to create the new race.

He can be silly and a prankster and overall a sweet caring person and he shows love in his own way (which can be rather weird and not exactly sweet loving affectionate) after breaking down all those strong walls around his heart that just needs attention but still never fully letting himself discard the angry sadistic side that allows him to stay in control.

x

x

Also have this from the Bloody Bouquet Story

x

He acts like he's the best because deep down he maybe feels like the worst. He has both a huge superiority and inferiority complex.

Onto his character songs 

Addicted (2) Phantom

No matter how many times I’ve smiled as I embraced your corpse, Anymore after this (That’s right, I will never be forgiven) Wandering about is pointless (The night is dead) A shadow of that day, I’m addicted to you The meaning of my existence, “……I’d rather be killed!”

“No matter how much I suck, I feel nothing except for your blood” “Burying my fangs in deeper…more than this” “This isn’t nearly enough to satisfy me……!” “I’ll thrust them in violently enough to break you……!” “I want to suck it all until you wither away!” “Even if you die, your blood will remain within me”

It’s broken! The memory we both cherished I longed for it! A desire to shoot down even the stars themselves Shout it out! This craving strong enough to make even the moon quake Send it out! This wish of despair enough to make me lose my senses If I suck your blood, until I drain you dry, I want you If so, I want to throw away everything! [“I’ll continue to suck more until you’re at your limit!” “So, live on for eternity inside of me”

These are just some parts that stuck out to me. As the first character song, the sadism and will to be in control is much more present. He mentions that he wants to keep her forever even if that kills her since like that she’ll never run away from him. Wandering about if he feels anything else other than she’s a prey to him is useless considering everything he has done so, the “i love you so much I want to kill you and make you mine forever” is pretty much the conclusion of his song.

Arcadia

Standing by the window, honey, with a contrary kiss, I may have grown used to these cruel yet gentle feelings If I could realize that I’m still bound by this undispelled sorrow, Will the continuous stream of tears finally cease?

The spearhead of these unconscious feelings pierces into you, Boring deeply――again and again!!!! The harsh pain of love is not the only thing that ties the two of us together You can let out a scream each time I suck your blood, Unleashed, the blood’s pulsing spreads Once it has spread throughout to my fingertips, With ‘this,’ I’m free――………!!! I can’t even hope to hate you…… The balance you’ve screwed up, does it depict a sorrowful tomorrow? A midnight continuously tormented by the past I’m unable to cleanse Believing only in this pulse stained with sin, I embraced it

So call me crazy but this sorta sounds like it’s about his mother? How she “ruined” him and made him what he is today. How he sucks the heroine’s blood and makes her suffer and cry in order to forget what he’s been through? How he starts to feel love but still the pain he causes on her feels better and like a familiar feeling to him

Kekkyoku Night

What do you fear? What do you seek? You’re cornered “Only that pain gives meaning to life” When I look at your teary eyes, I get an urge to bite you - You Wanna My Sadistic──……

Distorted feelings control my heart, I would like to stare fixedly at an older me if I could I abandon those limbs which expectations destroyed, if I obliterate the moon of that night there’ll be gloria

“Love” is nothing but a simple phrase (Heh) Don’t get all happy──…… I’ll torment you to the end──……

Again I feel like it has some mentions to his mom and “only pain gives meaning to life” and how he can’t seem to understand the feelings he’s begining to have

Parhelion Logic and VoiD aren’t character songs but they’re sung by him so let’s see those

Parhelion Logic

A frame continuously warped and rejected Was enough to kindly give your soul Extinguishing the faint light of hope “Because I need you,” I kept an alternative hidden

A completely twisted sense of morality The cause and effect of removing a distrustful heart

HDB’s ending also seems like it’s about his mother, the moment he killed her and everything that went through his head, a mix of guilt and sorrow, wondering what could have happened if she wasn’t like that

VoiD

Some of the sweet darkness sinks through the moonlight In every way, unexpectedly, I’m buried in an eternal, selfish Void. That gently burned our lively good times—–………

I don’t question the origins, but somewhere there is a distorted smile I am alone, lying on the cold floor, just (just) watching.

If there’s an afterlife request, drop it with your voice. I want it to be gently murdered by “him”. Sleep there, buried in that dirty crimson now (now) we regret.

The typical “you only appreciate something when you lose it”. The heroine died or isn’t with him anymore and he feels empty. If we follow Lunatic Parade’s plot ( this song is the ED) the heroine lost her heart (literally, it was stolen) and they must get it back by making emmends with people they’ve wronged during the parade

Some facts about him!

He believes in Santa And went to the North Pole to find him

He still keeps (and uses) a stuffed bunny given to him by Karl

He didn’t know what fast food was and got really impressed with burgers

He had a traumatic event with Reiji where some billiard balls got all over the floor making Reiji trip and get mad at Ayato in a way that haunted him (even making him hit his head on the wall) and that made him start to pick up and arrange small spherical objects whenever these are scattered. He doesn’t know if the two are connected but that happened around the same time he discovered takoyaki! The fact that they were so neatly packed made him feel at ease

He enjoys rock music

For multiple answer tests he uses a pencil with the several options ans throws it to pick one

He’s a great dancer

He used to use his closet as a hiding spot from Cordelia and still uses it to get away from Reiji

Even though he didn’t like it, he dressed up as a princess for Halloween

He likes to have his hair stroked

His hobby is basketball

He doesn't like the feeling of a shirt or tie around his neck

Once he turned the test into a paper plane and threw it out the window

He has an earring on his right ear

The brother he gets along the least with is Reiji

If he had to be paired up with any of his brothers it would be Shu

He likes those spinning chairs

He tried to rip the Yui’s legs off

He killed his family out of jealousy

He used the Yui’s face as a dart target

Anyway I’m in no way an expert in lore/characters or interpretating stuff but I tried dbghdfgjsdhgf

[darlingbudsofrae]

Andrew Minyard Appreciation Post

Foxes Appreciation Series : || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6  || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 ||

I believe that even with all the overwhelming Andrew Minyard content, we can never give the love this precious soul deserves.

Andrew Joseph Minyard deserves all the love in this universe.

He is very loyal.

Like, because he was often left behind most of the times in his past, it’s kind of ironic how Andrew understands the concept of family.

How willing he is to fight for his family, keep his family- even if it doesn’t show in the most obvious ways.

Friendly reminder that Andrew Minyard strike deals with people because he thinks it’s the only way to make people stay.

Friendly reminder that he is willing to go through hell and back for his family to the point of even hurting himself.

Because he could give less shit if he gets hurt. This MF is willing to go all in in protecting “his” people even if it kills him because he just don’t see anything worth living his life all the while secretly doing the best he could because he wants his family to succeed and that’s just-

Isn’t it ironic that everything Andrew Minyard are for are also the same things that ended up hurting him?

Like this kid honors promises to a fault and ensures hope when necessary (eg Kevin and Neil) when his life consisted nothing of false hopes and broken promises.

Did you know that the second character in the book to say the word fine the most is Andrew? While Neil says fine as a defense mechanism, Andrew mostly says the word to assure others that they’re going to be okay when they’re overthinking.

He also really values consent and that first kiss with Neil, when he pushed him and said he wasn’t in the head space to give it? That scene is underrated af.

Also, for someone who got lied to all his life, Andrew is so honest. He tells the truth in all its ugly glory because better terrible truths than kind lies.

Honesty suited Andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular.

Andrew Minyard is not a good person- doesn’t try to convince someone he’s a good person.

He threatens people, he can kill without a second thought. I think this is why most people view him as “psychotic” but if you do read the times Andrew act out on violence, they’re mostly because they’re provoked by inappropriate behavior slash words.

Like with Nicky, and the things he says about Neil and Kevin. I really like that Andrew acts on that because as violent as it is and as much as I love Nicky, he tends to oversexualize someone and say unnecessary and inappropriate things.

I love how Andrew doesn’t act like he likes people. Doesn’t feel inclined to make someone comfortable. 

And honestly, who can blame him when most of the foxes see him as a monster? Like I love the foxes but they’re judgmental assholes.

I really hate this about the books, like I can defend why the upperclassmen and even his own family sees him as such but it just gets to me.

Because for me, out of all the people there is in the world, the foxes should’ve been the first people to understand that Andrew was human with real feelings- that he didn’t have to act on a certain way.

I will never get over about how until the end of the book, the rest of the foxes still sees him that way.

As someone who went thru a lot of shit, Andrew was such a comfort character. Personally, I feel like his character arc was one of the best ones I’ve read.

He’s coping, still coping- and that’s okay.

Y’know what I love about Andrew most? He actively goes to therapy. In a way, despite seemingly giving up on everything, kid is willing to fix himself.

And maybe the results are slow or next to none but so what? He doesn’t have to recover immediately and honestly, reading AFTG back in a time when I was pressuring myself to heal fast because I was too frustrated with everything- reading Andrew was like getting washed by a cold bucket of water.

Recovery takes time. Healing is a process. And it could even take years and no matter how long it takes, it’s okay ✨

Also, another thing I like about Andrew’s character was that Nora made a point about not forgiving abusers. Most books tend to send that message (which is disgusting) but with Andrew’s character, it’s clear that you don’t have to attach yourself to your abusers.

Forgiving abusers is not a necessary part of the healing process. 

 This is getting dark so to lighten things up a bit, Andrew has a sweet tooth. He loves ice cream.

Also, he majored in criminal justice and I know Nora said he did that just to be a troll but I like to believe that deep inside, he wants to help those who are in a situation like him and actually make the world a better place.

Andrew knows what to do when someone’s breaking down. Like, with every character, his apathy aside, he always knows how to act.

Also, he’s one of those annoying even-if-I-don’t-make-an-effort-I’m-talented-af-and-can-still-perform-well-so-sue-me assholes and normally I hate those type of characters but Andrew was an exemption. 

Like, we do not talk enough about the fact that he asked Wymack to choose between numbers 1 - 5 and only let that number of goals in of the opposing team that night before shutting down the goal completely.

Or that he only let 13 of the ravens’ shots - the nation’s best team - in and that is oh my gods where do I even begin with Andrew Joseph Minyard being a superior goalie I cannot-

Also the fact that Andrew completely shut down the goal when Neil freaking asked him to- who is this man? 

What a simp. What power. 

I hope in the AFTG universe, someone out there is doing the god’s work and compiling his saves. Like, I don’t normally watch sports stuff cuz I hate sports but I would pay good money to see that yes sir I will.

We could talk about Andrew’s saves more but that just deserves its own post cuz it’s chef kisses

We do not talk enough about Andrew’s eidetic memory. Seriously, we don’t.

Also, you can say all you want that he’s an emo kid but kid has good fashion sense.

Andrew seriously has the best lines in the series. Did some of them made me choke and wheeze and cringe? Yes. But did most of them make me cry like a bitch and hit my heart right where it hurts? Also yes.

“Congratulations are in order, I suppose! Since I have none to give, I will tell the others to respond appropriately.”

Also, some of them were lowkey Shakespearean and I refuse to believe that Andrew doesn’t read Shakespeare-

Seriously, he’s so extra but he’s also so traumatized and such a gay disaster I can’t-

He’s five foot short.

[sapphirelass]

Two Peas in a Pod - Harry PotterxSister!Reader

Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For this one-shot I have taken inspiration from both the book and the film, as well as left out parts of the original dialogue that, for the purpose of this story, felt irrelevant.

Word count: ≈ 2400

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You probably already knew this, but still XD

(Y/N) - Your name

(Y/N/N) - Your nickname

(Y/H/C) - Your hair colour

(Y/H/L) - Your hair length

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Two Peas in a Pod

Harry Potter and his twin sister (Y/N) were like two peas in a pod. Always had been. Supposedly, that was what happened when young magicians had to grow up with muggles, especially if those muggles were named “Dursley”. Harry was always more impulsive, whereas (Y/N) took on the role of the rational one, yet they had both been placed in Gryffindor house by the sorting hat four years prior.

It was now the first of September 1995, and last year had been a rough one. Lord Voldemort, the dark wizard who had killed Harry and (Y/N)’s parents, had just come back and despite their efforts, this holiday had been more miserable than any of the previous ones. Dudley and his friends, dementor attacks, and a general lack of communication with the wizarding world left the twins in a particularly bad mood. They arrived at Kings Cross, and after pulling Harry away from Draco Malfoy, (Y/N), her brother, Ron and Hermione boarded the Hogwarts express, and found a place to sit.

During the start-of-the-year feast, the small group of friends quickly realized that something was wrong. Their new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor - Dolores Umbridge - was a ministry employe, which was weird on its own, but the way she spoke, acted, and kept interrupting Dumbledore with shrill, irritating *hum hum*’s made them all feel queasy.

After a quiet discussion in the common room (and quite a bit of loud arguing between Harry and Seamus Finnigan), they went to bed, yawning, and not exactly looking forward to that year’s first period of DADA.

***

They entered the classroom, and to their surprise, Umbridge actually wasn’t there yet. Harry and (Y/N) shared a confused look, but went to sit down, Harry with Ron, and (Y/N) with Hermione. Eventually though, the professor did arrive, her unnaturally high-pitched voice bringing them all back to reality.

“Good morning, class!” she said cheerfully

There was a quiet murmur among the students, and Umbridge shook her head.

“Good Morning!” she said again, this time more sternly. “I expect you to answer me when spoken to.”

A slightly louder “Good morning professor” could be heard, and though Umbridge didn’t seem too pleased, she decided to move on with the lesson.

“Ordinary Wizarding Levels - OWLs” she started. “Your previous teachers in this subject have all been quite questionable choices, however this year things will be the way they were meant to. Open your books on page 4.”

A few minutes had passed before Hermione raised her hand and said “Professor, there is nothing in here about using defensive spells.”

“Using spells?” Umbridge asked, laughing nastily

“We’re not to use magic?” Ron asked

“You will be learning defensive magic in a safe, risk-free environment”

“But”, said Harry, rather angrily, “what good would that do? If we were attacked that wouldn’t be risk-free!”

“Ha!”, laughed Umbridge, “And who exactly do you think would want to attack a helpless child such as yourself? Besides, the education you will receive will be more than enough for you to pass your OWLs, and that is after all just what school is about.” She finished with a smirk, looking rather satisfied with her speech.

(Y/N), who had sat quietly this whole time shifted slightly in her chair, and exclaimed: “It’s not though!

“Sorry?” Umbridge asked, dumbfounded

“School isn’t solely about receiving good grades! It’s about preparing the students for life, and supplying them with the tools and knowledge necessary in order to succeed and improve. If we’re not going to do that, then why, may I ask, is this a mandatory course? It’s already starting to seem rather pointless to me.”

Harry was perplexed. How his sister always managed to, 1: use her words in such a remarkable way, and 2: remain calm through the most infuriating of situations was a mystery to him, however he turned his gaze back towards Umbridge, waiting for her reply.

“Nonsense” She said. “This course is compulsory, and rightfully so!”

“How though?” Inquired (Y/N), pushing it further than she probably should have. “Can you name any situation, apart from the exam, where your teachings will be of any help to us? Or didn’t the ministry consider that?”

That was the top of the iceberg.

“DETENTION!!” shouted Umbridge. “My office, 8:30 would you be so kind, Ms Potter.”

(Y/N) flinched. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, however detention was not something she had to endure very often. That was more Harry’s thing. She sank quietly back onto her chair, and Umbridge continued with her boring, unnecessary lesson, reciting facts and procedures they had all learnt about 4 years earlier. (Y/N) could feel her brother staring, practically burning a hole in her neck, but somehow, probably thanks to Ron, he kept quiet for the rest of the class.

An hour later, class ended and none of the Gryffindor students wasted any time getting out of Umbridge’s classroom. (Y/N) threw her stuff into her brown, leather bag and dashed out of the room without making eye contact with her brother or friends.

“(Y/N/N)!” Harry shouted. “Wait up!”

He caught up with his sister on the stairs leading down to McGonagall’s classroom.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Looking up at him with an annoyed stare she said “Yes Harry! Just brilliant!” with a sarcastic tone in her voice. She kept on walking, but Harry grabbed her shoulder. A few years ago, they had been roughly the same size, but Harry had grown A LOT, and was by now almost seven inches taller. All the quidditch training had apparently paid off too, and (Y/N) knew instantly that she would never be able to escape his firm, yet gentle grip. He glanced down on her with a worried look on his face.

“I’m serious!” he said. “Stop”

She turned around and faced him. “What?” She spat at him, suddenly noticing her icy voice.

“Sorry…” (Y/N) mumbled, “she just pissed me off. I’m fine.” Her facial expression softened and she met Harry’s eyes for the first time since class ended. He let go of her shoulders, and was just about to say something when a tall ginger came running at full speed and gave (Y/N) a supportive pat on the back.

“That was bloody brilliant!” Ron exclaimed. “(Y/N), did you see the look on her face? Bloody hell, she was angrier than Malfoy after Harry beat him in his first quidditch match!”

“Yes” stated (Y/N) simply, as Hermione made her way down the stairs, “I saw…”

“Oh cheer up!” stated Ron, “an hour or two of detention isn’t the end of the world. If you ask me, it was totally worth it!”

Hermione gave him a disapproving stare as (Y/N) sadly stated, “It might not have been the cleverest thing to do” Both Harry and Hermione blinked at her with a sort of “you-don’t-say?” kind of look as she kept on speaking. “But you must admit that it’s the truth? Defence against the dark arts has never been as important as it is right now. We are all going to die before the end of the year unless we learn and improve?!”

“You’re right.” Hermione muttered, and surprisingly, she smiled slightly. “But we’ll have to talk about that later, otherwise we’ll be late for transfiguration. Come on!”

***

The rest of the day went by rather quickly, and the quartet soon found themselves in front of the fireplace in the common room. It was about 8:20 when (Y/N) stood up, grabbed a jacket, and left for Umbridge’s office.

“Good luck!” Harry said, frowning deeply, “I’ll wait for you here.”

(Y/N) turned around quickly, “Haz, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine. You need your sleep and I have no idea how long this is going to take.”

Harry gave her a sort or irritated look, to which she sighed and left without a word.

“What do you think she’ll have her do?” Hermione questioned.

“I don’t know” Harry hissed, “but I’m sure she’ll tell me when she gets back...”

The remaining three looked at each other. Ron threw Harry a chocolate frog, and then - they waited…

***

*knock knock*

There was a slight clinking noise, like metal on china, followed by a repulsing “come in”. (Y/N) took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

“Ah!” chirped Umbridge, “Potter, sit down, will you?”

(Y/N) apprehensively made her way across the room to the chair her so-called “professor” had pointed at. She sat down and looked around nervously.

“You will be writing some sentences for me today, no” Umbridge said, as (Y/N) reached down to her bag to pick up something to write with. “no, not with your own quill. You’ll be using a rather special one of mine.” She smiled evilly, and pushed a black, pointy feather across the table.

(Y/N) grabbed it carefully and asked in a silent, trembling voice, “what should I write?”

“Oh, right! How about… ‘I must obey my superiors’?”

***

It was about three hours later, when (Y/N) slowly made her way back to the common room, red, hot blood dripping from her left hand leaving a small trail through the corridor. The pain had intensified, and was by this point almost unbearable. She took a quick detour to the girls’ bathroom, hoping to be able to clean herself up a bit before having to face her friends and brother. She had told him to go to sleep, after all, it was almost midnight by now, but she knew him all too well. The odds of him being in bed were absolutely zero.

She watched the thick, red liquid disappear down the sink and let a few tears fall, before grabbing some paper making sure no tears or blood could be seen. She had to make it through the common room up to the dormitories quickly though, since she was sure Harry would be able to tell she’d been crying, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Sure, she could just tell him, but something inside her argued against that. He had been rather angry and distressed all summer, and she knew he wasn’t feeling much better now. Harry had enough to deal with without handling her problems too.

Entering the common room, roughly four seconds had passed before her brother was by her side.

“Hey,” he said gently, “everything okay?”

She nodded and mumbled a quiet. “Yes. ‘m tired though, night Harry”

She walked the stairs up to her dorm, leaving Harry behind. He simply stood there dumbfounded. What had just happened? “Oh… okay, night (Y/N/N)”

She didn’t answer…

***

The following morning, he found her at the breakfast table, slowly digesting a tiny portion of porridge. She was wearing one of his old quidditch jumpers underneath her cloak. He knew, because it was far too big for her, and the sleeves reached down to her fingertips.

“Hey,” he said, ruffling her (Y/H/L), (Y/H/C) hair, “Feeling better?”

“Sure, “ she murmured, slowly pulling the sleeves even further down. He gave her a supportive hug.

“But come on now, “ he urged her. “You can’t be sad forever. What did she have you do?”

“Nothing…”

“(Y/N/N)!”

“Just write some sentences. It was fine, rather dull to be honest with you.” She threw the spoon into the bowl, and pushed it away. “How are you feeling? Any bad dreams?”

“Always…” he muttered, shaking his head at the milk that had splashed out on the table, “could have been worse though.”

Harry made himself some toast, as Ron and Hermione joined them in the great hall.

***

A week or so later Harry had had enough. It was in defence against the dark arts, on a rather cold Tuesday afternoon that he finally snapped, and shouted at professor Umbridge, who seemed almost too happy for a reason to give him detention.

The gang sat, yet again, around the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, when Harry suddenly left and climbed through the portrait hole. He came back a few hours later, a downright furious look on his face, and walked straight up to his sister without even noticing the ghost he had stumbled through. He looked down at her smaller frame, his quidditch jumper yet again pulled over her head.

“Let me see, ” he said through gritted teeth, causing (Y/N) to look up at him, trying her best to act confused.

“Wha…”

“(Y/N) - let. me. see.” he repeated firmly, his emerald eyes penetrating the mental wall behind which she had been trying so hard to hide her troubles.

She closed her eyes and pulled her sleeve up to her elbow. The blood had naturally dried, however five heart wrenching words were etched into her still red, irritated skin.

I must obey my superiors

No one said a thing. (Y/N) was staring at the floor, not daring to meet her brother’s eyes, all while Harry felt madder than he ever had before.

Madder than when Dudley had been pushing him around the school yard.

Madder than when Malfoy had taunted him because of the dementors.

Madder than when he had found out that his aunt and uncle had lied about their parents true fate for almost 10 years.

This was his sister, and it was far from okay.

Without thinking, Harry was just about to shout at her for keeping something like that from him, when he noticed that she was crying. Soft, quiet sobs that she were clearly trying to hide. It felt as if all his anger simply washed away, and he crouched down and took her hand in his.

Harry’s hand was still covered in blood. He hadn’t had time to clean it, but had instead taken the shortest way to the common room, after realizing what had happened. Raising his right hand, he pulled her closer and felt her lean her head on his chest. They sat like that, arms wrapped around each other, for hours and slowly started drifting off to sleep.

Were they okay? Not at all. Would they be? Absolutely! Because they had each other, and when it really came down to it, that was all they needed, as the Potter twins were just like two peas in a pod.

~ L

Masterlist