#incorrect apollo

[ramen8008]

Chiron: Apollo, I brought you here to learn how to have compassion for demigods. Where did I go wrong?

Annabeth: You let him talk to Gen Z kids?

Teen Apollo, laying upside down on the couch: If we eat the rich, we would only have a new one percent to worry about.

Percy: And then we would be a cannibalistic society. Probably not the best way to start a new government.

Teen Apollo: [crumbles up notes and throws it]

Notes: [miss the trash can]

Apollo & Peter: [sigh] Big mood.

[incorectpercyjackson]

apollo: imagine if you've got an ugly face and an evil mind, that's just loss-loss

[shadebloopnik]

I know its obvious, but I love how Apollo and Hephaestus literally seemed like they were pulled out of nowhere and handed a binder of everything Odysseus did up to that point and had to come up with a reason to hate him on the spot.

At least Hephaestus sounded like he gave a bit of effort, skimmed the info and provided a fair argument with what he had.

Apollo was like the kid who started working on his homework while the teacher's collecting papers. Like "Huh? Wha? Odysseus? Oh uh" *flips files to a random page* "Pfpfpfprllflfrrr i dunno, he did something to some sirens and uhhh, they sing and i like singing sooooo...yea not cool"

Athena: But they tried to kill hi-

Apollo, already turning away and pressing the golden button: Yeyeyeyeyeyeaa he's aight he's aight release him or whatever can i go now-

[starrrrr-dreeeeam]

he really said

[pjotwitter]

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

i like to imagine that the rest of the gods on olympus were all watching ody turn poseidon into swiss cheese, with a variety of emotions throughout them.

zeus: *impressed but slightly very worried* maybe i let him cook for too long on that island.

zeus: oh well rather poseidon than me

hera: *mainly nonchalant but hiding a tiny smile behind her chalice*

hera: *after hearing next to my wife* that is what you call a man who loves his wife *side eyes zeus*

zeus: *sweats*

hephaestus: *kind of impressed* well he avenged his crew *shrugs*

ares: *in awe* athena didn't lie about the bloodshed!

ares: *hears poseidon beg for mercy* *odysseus doesn't give him that*

ares: *now in love with ody* THIS IS MY FAVOURITE MORTAL EVER

aphrodite: *just blinking in disbelief* he's not wasting anymore time to get home i guess?

hermes: *is proud but also in slight shock* thats a mindset change alright...

hermes: *gasps* i need to tell athena!

hermes: *grins* but first-

hermes: guess ~ i ~ should be the one to take poor dear uncle to the infirmary! *giggles at the drama he's about to cause there*

apollo: *sighs* let me get another bed made up

apollo: *heads off to his olympus infirmary*

[halfblood-hero]

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Percy: Death penalty.

Jason, from the gallery: Percy, it’s just a parking ticket.

Percy, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

[hyperfixation-fix]

Kayla, showing a new Apollo camper around the cabin while Will is on duty in the infirmary:

...so this is your bed over here-

*pats bed*

-make yourself at home, and this-

*pats Nico's head, who is dozing on a beanbag*

-this is our pet Spawn of Satan, but don't worry! Will has had him de-clawed-

Nico, without moving: I'll kill you Kayla, I swear to god.

Kayla: -but he's still working on socialising him.

Nico: They'll never find the body Kayla, I'm dead serious. I know places.

Camper: ....man you guys are weird

[winter-rossie]

Annabeth: I wasn't Raised to be Polite

Percy: You weren't Raised at All.

Percy:. . .

Annabeth: . . .

[the-goddess-of-gays]

Percy: ADHD is such a trip, dude. You're trying to go to sleep and your brain is just like, "1 sheep, 2 sheep, sheep, horse, cow, Apollo's cows, Hera's cows, Hera's a cow, too many cows, what does the cow say? RING-DING-DING-DING-DINGERINGEDING–" Nico: That's not even the line. Percy: "GERING-DING-DING-DING-DINGERINGEDING–" Will: ...how did you get into our house?

[incorrect-riordanverse-quotes]

Nico, about Will: I mean, yeah, he's clearly mentally ill. But you gotta admit it's a little charming watching him walk around pretending like he's not.

[im-still-watching-anime]

apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB

apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally

[incorectpercyjackson]

Apollo: me? overreacting? probably

[sodamnbored]

Jason: Hey come on, you’re definitely gonna get into college, no doubt.

Percy, sighing: I hope so. It’s just…sometimes I just feel like the biggest fuck up in the world, you know?

Jason, hand on his shoulder comfortingly: If only you could see yourself through my eyes.

Percy: *looking at him expectantly*

Jason: You’d be amazed at how blurry you are.

[landstedelesbian]

zeus: Can you come collect your freak of a son,please. He’s doing things. poseidon: No I set him loose on purpose.

[pjotwitter]