#incorrectmcu

[megsmulti]

Sam and Bucky during an Avengers karaoke competition when it’s their turn:

Sam: Buck, we’re up. Let’s go.

Bucky: Hell no! I’m not even that good of a singer anyway.

AJ, who is there with Cass and Sarah: That’s not true! We hear you singing in the shower all the time, Uncle Bucky!

Bucky: Boys, why are you peeping into the shower? You know it’s not a polite thing to do.

Cass: Oh, we don’t need to do that. Your voice carries and we can hear you in our room.

Bucky, facepalming and muttering: God dammit!

Sam, smirking in the corner: You heard the boys! Come on! Let’s go, buddy!

Bucky, muttering: I hate you.

Sam: Love you too, Buck!

Bucky flips him off.

Sam: There are children present! And I’m not just talking about AJ and Cass! *motions over towards Shuri, Peter, and the rest of the youngsters*

Bucky: Does it look like I care right now?

Shuri, from her spot at a table: I have taught him well! Your time in Wakanda has done you good, Sergeant!

Bucky: Thank you, Shuri! At least someone agrees with me!

Sam makes a face.

Yelena, from out of nowhere: Can you two please continue your gay love affair somewhere else? We want to hear singing and I don’t hear any!

[faisttimesandclaraskies]

Peter: So what if he wins again?

Steve: We suck it up, I guess.

Bucky, cleaning his favorite shotgun: Not my first president, won't be my last.

[marvelnatasha]

Sam: You know what? You... you guys should date.

Sam: and then not tell me about it.

Bucky, whispering to Nat: I think he knows.

[maya-malfoy1012]

Harley: So... *nervous laugh*

Liz: *staring* um wot?

Harley: Yeah...?

Liz: *staring I’m utmost disbelief -srsly it was pouring out of her pores* You-

Harley: *nods*

Liz: *breathes in and out* You breaking up with for my freaking ex?!!?

Harley: ... ye?

Liz: Oh my god

Peter: it be like that sometimes Liz, it be like that sometimes

[marvellousidiot]

literally every mcu woman ever: I've only known him for half a minute but if anyth- I'M SORRY DID I JUST SEE U HITTING MY CHILD U BETTER FUKIN RUN!

Thanos: *about to attack peter*

Marvel Women:

[marvelisgoodforyourhealth]

Sam, eating noodles: *slurps*

Bucky: That is so annoying what the hell.

Sam: *slurping intensifies*

Bucky: I hate you.

#marvel #mcu #incorrectmcu #incorrectmarvel #falconandthewintersoldier #samwilson #buckybarnes #falcon #bucky #thewintersoldier

[megsmulti]

Shopping for an Avengers party at HQ

Yelena: I’m telling you, Kate Bishop. There are dresses with pockets here in this store! How else are people supposed to carry everything they need?

Kate: Where? I see none of them!

The two of them walk around the store. Yelena feels the sides of all the dresses until she finally finds a dark blue off the shoulder formal dress with pockets. She lights up in glee, grabbing it off the rack.

Kate: Ok. Looks like I spoke too soon.

Yelena: I will be starting a trend at this party. Mark my words, Kate Bishop!

Kate: *raises her hands up in surrender* If you say so.

[faisttimesandclaraskies]

Tony: Why- why was the fucking house on FUCKING FIRE?

Peter: [Looks to the other side of the street]

Harley: [Pretends to be passed out]

Bucky, nonchalantly: There was a spider on the kitchen. Shit happens.

Tony, about to pass out: DID IT WORK?

Bucky, pointing at the bushes: It went over there so if you are that nice-

[marvellousidiot]

Clint: *screams in a distance as Natasha proceeds to chase him with scissors* NOT MY TOES!!!

“You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Steve. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon… with nail polish.”

— Natasha Romanoff

[marvelnatasha]

Natasha: *walks in*

Bucky: *on his phone* Hello 911 I would like to report a robbery, the victim? My heart.

[maya-malfoy1012]

Harley: Hey Parker?

Peter: . . . Yes? *looks up warily*

Harley: Do you want to, I don’t know, go out for coffee with me? *nervously rubbing his neck and kicks the floor*

Peter: *stares and an amused smirk appears on his face as Harley gets more and more nervous visibly by the lack of response*

Harley: It’s fine if you don’t want to though, I was just wondering- I suppose you’re busy and -

Peter: *leans forward* I drink tea, darling.

Harley: *heart in his throat, stares* ... huh?

[megsmulti]

Jane is walking around Valhalla when she runs into Loki…

Jane: *slaps Loki again*

Loki, unsurprised: What did I do this time?

Jane: Nothing. Just wanted to do it for the hell of it.

Loki: Understood.

[megsmulti]

*Nebula gets some paper out*

Rocket: *turns around and groans* Oh God, not that damn paper football game again!

Mantis: What’s wrong with paper football? It’s a great game!

Rocket: No, it’s not! Quill and I don’t play because every time we do, she wins! Groot doesn’t understand it and Drax only plays so he can purposely miss and yell the word goal repeatedly, which annoys the hell out of me!

Drax: *raises his arms up from his seat* Goal! *receives eyeroll from Rocket and Nebula* Goal! *silence* What? You said to yell the word goal repeatedly!

Rocket, muttering: God, help me.

[megsmulti]

2023, Pre-Battle of Earth

Sam, over the comms: Strange, I’ve got a request for you.

Dr. Strange: What is it, Wilson?

Sam: Can you make sure to open the Wakanda portal on Steve’s left?

Strange: Why?

Sam: It’s an inside joke the two of us have. It’ll all make sense when it happens.

Strange, after a minute of comprehension: You got it, Wilson.

[faisttimesandclaraskies]

Bucky: Hey man, can I borrow your wings? I'm dressing up as you.

Sam, almost crying: Wait- you're really dressing up as Falcon?

Bucky: No I'm dressing up as a clown.

Sam: You fucking know what-

[faisttimesandclaraskies]

Tony, putting on his mask: Why do I have to wear a mask every time I go out?

Peter: So you don't get other people sick.

Pepper: So you give a good image to the company.

Steve: Because it is mandatory.

Bucky, without looking up from his Lucky Charms: So no one gets to see your ugly ass face.