#is this deeply embarassing for the me? yes. but I am trying to be so brave about it

[handmade-witch]

Another round of Incorrect Quotes Generator x Slytherin Boys:

Part 1 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5 ☆ Part 6

Mattheo: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Draco: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

☆☆☆

Draco: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I’m not stupid, you know.

[Y/n]: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: She's the girl of my dreams!

Theodore: You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.

Mattheo: I have a lot of dreams!

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Mattheo: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

[Y/N]: I—

[Y/N]: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

☆☆☆

Draco: I have an idea.

[Y/n]: A good idea?

Draco: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

☆☆☆

*Draco is laying on the floor with their eyes closed*

Mattheo: Hey, are they sleeping or dead?

Theodore: Hopefully dead, I hated them.

Mattheo: Yeah, me too.

Draco, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: That sounds like a terrible plan.

Theodore: Oh, we've had worse.

☆☆☆

[Y/N], texting Mattheo: Text me when you’re home safely.

Mattheo: I’m home dangerously.

[Y/N]: Stop it.

Mattheo: I’m home lethally.

☆☆☆

Draco: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Mattheo: We were helping [Y/N] write their vows, but they kicked us out because Lorenzo was making inappropriate suggestions.

Lorenzo: How is “Theodore, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

☆☆☆

[Y/N], talking about Mattheo: Is this a friend of yours, Draco?

Draco: Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

☆☆☆

Theodore: What is wrong with you?

Mattheo: Loaded question. Elaborate.

☆☆☆

Draco: Guess what I'm about to get!

Blaise: On my nerves.

☆☆☆

Blaise: All of your existences are confusing.

The Squad: How so?

Blaise: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you deeply upsets me.

☆☆☆

Draco: How did you convince everyone to betray me? What did you offer them?

Blaise: I just asked if they wanted to embarass you and they all said yes.

☆☆☆

Theodore: Hey, are you okay?

[Y/N]: Yeah.

Theodore: You don't look okay...

[Y/N]: Then stop looking.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Draco.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Kill me nowwwww.

Mattheo: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: Lorenzo! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.

Lorenzo: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

☆☆☆

Draco: You read my diary?

Blaise: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

☆☆☆

Blaise: [Y/N] won’t come out of their room!

Mattheo: Just tell them I said something.

Blaise: Like what?

Mattheo: Anything factually incorrect.

Blaise, shrugging: If you say so.

[Y/N], arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Lorenzo: Theft.

Blaise: Disturbing the peace.

Theodore: Aggravated assault.

Draco: Arson.

Mattheo: All of the above. In that order, probably

☆☆☆

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Blaise, with Theodore and Mattheo behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Blaise: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Blaise: Lorenzo FUCKING FELL OFF!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

Lorenzo: You and me!

[Y/N]: *tearing up* Ok.

☆☆☆

Theodore: *yawns*

[Y/N]: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Theodore: Then you must be exhuasted.

Blaise: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

[angelphonia]

Okay, I've been binge watching the Stop!!Hibari-kun anime and I've got some thoughts I need to let out.

Firstly, watching the anime makes me appreciate the Manga a hundred times more. Sure, the Manga had its problems, mostly the racism and the casual homophobia jokes and transphobia, but you could save stuff from it, like that even though there were homophobic jokes there was a gay woman who wasn't mocked because of her attraction to Hibari, or that despite the transphobia Hibari was never outright shown as being wrong by being herself.

Now, the anime does a lot of things I dislike. Firstly they make Kosaku's reactions be way more negative than in the Manga. While yes, he reacts negatively he is also seen blushing a lot when Hibari flirts with him. I may need to read the Manga for fourth time, but I also don't remember Kosaku constantly mentioning Hibari is a "guy" everytime she did anything.

There is a lot much more racism in the anime. There were problems with this in the Manga but it just feels way more present in the anime.

This one doesn't bother me too much, but I'm pretty sure the chapters do not align with the Manga, but again, this doesn't bother me.

I also noticed way more incest jokes, I don't care about them. Also the Seiji chapter where he falls in love with one of Hibari's bullies when she's 15 and Seiji is around 25/30 is very questionable. Again, this is a work of fiction so while I was like "why isn't this seen wrong?" I wasn't really uncomfortable. I do gotta say that in the Manga when the Japanese mob grown manchild son asked for Hibari's hand in marriage, it was inmediatly said he was 28 and Hibari was super taken aback. This doesn't happen in the anime, his age is NEVER mentioned. I can't quite remember, but I am sure Hibari also doesn't go on a date with him.

Oof, but here we go with the thing that has bothered me the most. The REALLY bad erasure of Jun's story. They absolutely took away her lesbianism, making it seem as if she was only interested in Hibari because of her volleyball abilities. They also totally changed the episode and made Jun be deeply ashamed of her family, that while in the Manga she was a bit embarassed it wasn't a main focus. In the Anime it was, even making her leave the volleyball club, which is crazy to me. Oh, and I'm NOT forgetting that they made Hibari enjoy getting gropped in the bus, when in the Manga she was clearly just disgusted by it.

I haven't finished it yet, may edit this post with more complains. Positive things? I'm sure Seiji and Sabu didn't have names in the Manga, so now they have identities. They try and give them more backstory, even adding an eye scar to Sabu, which was appreciated. Hibari's voice is absolutely the cutest. I liked the wrestling episode. Oh, the episode with Hibari's mother and her father was a delight, she didn't express this much emotion in the Manga, so actually seeing how she feels was great, and her end interaction with her father was adorable.

Can't remember anything more rn. As a side note, I've developed a little crush on Sabu and I'm gonna draw him. Hope you enjoyed my rambling!

EDIT:

Remembered the Honda thing. In the Anime he almost reaches his 1000 girls flirted with, but with one it is half a girl. In the Manga this was because he looked at a 5 year old by accident and she fell in love, while in the anime they made it so he flirted with a new half. For those who don't know, new half is an old Japanese term for transgender people, mostly trans women who were post op. In the subtitles this is translated as crossdresser, which I don't like. This isn't the first time this term is mentioned, in the spartan son episode, he calls Hibari a new half, which Kosaku tells him to not do. In another chapter there is a trans woman, and she refers to herself as New half, which again is incorrectly translated to crossdresser for some reason.

Even then there was some sort of minimal knowledge of trans people, not only with this, but in the Manga the addition of Genkijirou being a canonical trans man in hormones. Eguchi was aware and while his first idea was to make Hibari a feminine man, it obviously end up with her being a trans woman.

[amugoffandoms]

OKAY WE'RE ACTUALLY SO BACK NOW HERE WE GOOO FOR MILGRAMTOBER DAY FIFTEEN

Es stares at the request list.

It's an anonymous request for anatomically correct skeleton.

"Do they need this for that Halloween party...?" Es mumbles as they place down the list.

Looks like they'll have to find a skeleton, somehow.

Amane walks into the common room to see many other prisoners gathered around something. Deciding it's probably nothing important (but still a little curious), she sits down at a nearby table as she drinks her tea. It's just tea, just like her parents taught her to make it. It lacks sugar, making it a little bitter for Amane, but she doesn't say a word about that. She doesn't need anyone to know she has childish desires like that.

As she closes her eyes and says a prayer to her God to thank them for what she has been given, she hears someone sit across from her. Opening her eyes, she sees Shidou looking at her, a frown on his face.

Him. She would have immediately left the table if she was able to avoid attracting any attention from the other prisoners.

With an annoyed look on her face, Amane takes a sip of her tea.

Shidou looks at the tea and at Amane. "How is your tea, Amane?"

"It's fine," Amane blankly states, trying to make him leave her alone.

He does not take the hint and continues to talk to her. "Amane, please allow me to make you tea one day. I'll add sugar to sweeten it. Does that not sound nice?"

Having tea does sound nice. Especially if it's sweetened...

No. She will not fall for his tricks to pretend to be a child. She does not want to act like one nor does she want anyone to continue to act like she eis.

Amanee shakes her head. "I am fine. Thank you."

Shidou sighs. "Amane, please. I'm sure you'll—"

"Please stop trying to push me, Shidou."

"...of course." Shidou stands up and leaves her alone.

With Shidou finally gone, she's finally able to relax and drink her tea in peace. She shuts her eyes as she takes a—

"Amane?"

Now annoyed by the second disruption, Amane opens her eyes to see Mikoto looking at her. "Yes?"

"Sorry for interrupting your tea, but we were wondering, uh..." Mikoto steps aside to show a skeleton behind him.

Kazui, Fuuta, and Mahiru are all standing around the skeleton, examining it. Amane remembers a few other prisoners near it, perhaps they left earlier.

"It's... surprisingly accurate to a real skeleton..." Kazui mumbles.

"Eh?? Why do you know that?" Fuuta blinks. Kazui shrugs, causing Fuuta huffs.

"It's... a little creepy you know that, Kazui...!" Mahiru worriedly laughs.

"I promise, I have my reasons as to why I know this," Kazui says with an awkward smile.

Anatomically correct skeleton.

...ah, oh dear...

Amane has to hide her shock and embarassment. "A skeleton...?"

"Yes, uh... We really don't know why it's here, haha..." Mikoto awkwardly laughs.

"And... you came to ask me?"

"Well, we asked Shidou about it and he said he never requested one, so the only person left is you..." Mikoto trails off.

"Hm? What about that Halloween party? Are you not all decorating with Halloween decorations?"

"Yeah, but... Es said they'd give us the decorations the day of the party, not... now."

Oh dear. She's certainly running out of excuses to hide this was her request.

"Hm... Well, perhaps Es just brought it in for now in case, not knowing if you all needed it in the future. So, they wanted to be sure." Amane stands up and walks up to the skeleton. "Or... they brought it in for teaching purposes; I would not know."

Es definitely brought it in for teaching purposes. Except not for their teaching purposes. It's for Amane's studying to understand the human body.

Even if her beliefs are heavily attached to the idea of avoiding changing the course of fate of others, she is still interested in understanding the human body. After all, if she understood the body, then she will be able to understand herself deeply.

"Oh, that's... probably it!" Mikoto says. Amane can still tell there is confusion in his voice.

"Yes." Amane nods. "Ah, am I allowed to borrow this for a little bit? If it is as anatomically accurate as Kazui says, then I will be able to study on it."

"Of course!" Mahiru bobs her head up and down. "We don't need it now, so you can use it for whatever~ Just be careful and don't break it!" "I do not plan on it. Thank you." Amane thankfully nods.

Kazui, Mahiru, and Mikoto all wave Amane goodbye and head out of the common room, saying they should work on cooking in the dining room.

After a couple of moments in silence, Amane quickly runs out of the room. She returns with a few books on anatomy and the human body.

She places the book on a table near the skeleton and exhales.

She's very embarrassed that she neglected to mention where to drop off the skeleton in her request, but that may have linked her to the skeleton.

As Amane grabs a book and reads, pointing to parts of the body as she does, the close call still lingers in her mind.

She should seriously be much more careful next time she requests something like this.

[sshewolfiona]

I really need some support right now!!

#follow me if you are willing to accept me for me and please tell me I'm not the only one that's confused about their gender identity these days ?

⛈️✨I'm at a low place in my life and I'm very much letting my depression get the best of me!🪐⛈️🪐⛈️🦕💕

I almost feel like I have no good reason to carry on anymore and that I should do everyone a fkn favor and off myself😓😥😟😖. I'm just gonna come out of the closet on here to basically whole world but I know not many will see my story; they will scroll by ... I know, I get it😢nobody ever had the time for me before in this life time so why now would I actually have even one person that is willing to listen and actually help me through my silent struggle... Suffering in silence is killing me that's why ... 💜⚡I'm here today to ...be able to say

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

🌈Coming out of the closet today🌈 everyone!! 😮❣️I can't keep my sweet silent lies down deep.. I'm here and I'm queer get used to it .🤐 Not really but listen if you'd like to hear my sexual identity crisis ..

I just have had one fck of a time on this Earth and finally at this age , oh my, 😮⚡⚡🌈 I find myself looking to LGBTQ hashtags and forums for answers on what's exactly wrong with me!!

Long story short : I knew there were many things about my inner world and the way I experienced it that made me very different from everyone.... And I have just found the words ; asexual 🌈💚 and aromantic so yes. I am Ace-Aro very very aro ... Sex repulsed aro ... And that's not all ... Actually I today, found that I have to admit I'm non-binary too. I've been ashamed and had found this part of my life, my sexual life, was very deeply embarassing and had not quite fit society standards and now I'm finally relieved a great deal that there are words for all that I'm going through and ii don't have to feel so weird about dating anymore I'll just be straight up about my sexual identity and preferences ........ For now tho. I have been seeing a dude that is heterosexual so this straight male is my partner. We are best friends.. and we have our own sex ONLY WHEN IM COMFORTABLE AND REALLY WANTING TO !!!! It's special occasion for sex to happen.. he has been molested as a child so he always understood how sex can be touchy and he NEVER pressured me. I feel like he could be not totally but on the spectrum of aromatic.... Idk .. we are good together so far.. but there is much more for us to move on from like personal past issues. We both need therapy for abuse and sexual abuse and before we deal with that then we will try bs support each other ... We are so shy and painfully awkward when it comes to gender roles or out own roles in the relationship like he's such a very sensitive man he really gets hurt by my just experience.. at first when I came out as asexual to him he said " so you don't find me attractive?? Why don't you find me attractive? What can I do to turn you on and make my appearance more attractive?!" And I was really for the first-time being faced with the real issue that actually " I don't find anyone attractive" so I hunted online for the solution. I felt broken and wanted a cure.

Lol

But it turns out I was born this way and iit is not a mental illness ...

I did go to the doctor tho....

I'm autistic .. diagnosed autism is scary ! It's a huge label. But it also makes me angry that all these years they diagnose Me this change it to that and I never got anywhere in any of the definition of bipolar and scizo such whatever the problem is is that ok I took so many meds I never needed and for years were not designed for my chemical imbalance which I never had turns out !!

Wow 😲 so much going on

🌈🌈So I found my true identity! Sexual identity,🌈😎😎🌈💚🖤 can I just be accepted and loved by some members of the #Witchcraft community or the LGBTQ community please at least LIKE. My post. And comment anybody wanna be my friend ?? I'm lonely lonely so lonely all on my only and I need someone to relate to other than these cis people !!!

[venusdeluxe]

Yearning for the past, uncertain about the future, but avoidant to fix any of it

It's a weird point to be at, feeling like my life is already kinda in the bin despite it not even being that long ago since I turned 21. I don't know what really led me here, just my general path in life or the pandemic fucking things up or a bit of both, but it feels like my connection with people outside of family has mostly eroded and I have no idea how to fix it.

Since finishing school I haven't really found anything to replace it as my "social arena". I have my job, but I don't talk to anyone there and there's very little opportunity to talk to people anyway. In my last few years of school I started drifting away from old friends. We didn't go to school together every day anymore and the pandemic kinda put up a wall everywhere else too. I was making some new friends initially, but after a year I couldn't even make that happen anymore. My ability to make new friends just faded away and so did my connections to old friends. I just drifted into isolation more and more. At this point I feel so deep into that pit that I can't find my way out again. I can't find it within myself to start talking to people again, old or new. I can't find it within myself why I'd even be worth anyone's time.

When I was still hanging out with people I got constant feedback, it felt good, I could pick up how they might enjoy my company and that they knew I enjoyed theirs. But now, after feeling alone for so long, I don't have that feedback anymore. I don't have anything up there except my own thoughts, my own projections and assumptions, my own feedback to myself. And all I can hear is the doubt, my own voice reminding me that I'm not worth anyone's time. If I try to reach back out, maybe attempt to reforge an old bond, all I'm gonna be met with is embarassment and shame and sadness. I'll end up right back here anyway.

Maybe I could try studying again, maybe try to study something that I'd actually enjoy working in and start meeting people again in the process. Seems like the only place left where I feel I could atleast potentially flourish a bit socially. But then I just think about how much I hated school, hated studying, how anxious and depressed it made me. Fear and anxiety holds me back, and I avoid returning to school at all costs.

Maybe I could just message an old friend, give them a date and just straight up ask them if/when they're free. Anytime I have those rare occasions where I do speak to old friend through text and such we end the conversation by saying "let's hang out sometime!", but then we just never do. So just give them a date, just ask them, be specific. But am I then putting pressure on them? Making them feel obligated to say yes and hang out with me? Give me some pity and just go along with it even if they don't want to? What would we even do? Just hang out? I'm just going to bore them to death aren't I? There's nothing I could do that would make it interesting or worthwhile to them. They'll never speak to me again. They never liked me anyway. Fear and anxiety holds me back, and I avoid reaching out to any and all of my past friends.

I feel stuck here, down in this rut of self-pity and anxiety and avoidance of anything scary or challenging. I know I have a whole life ahead of me, but when you're down there it's hard to imagine any future where you aren't. I know what I wanna do, I know exactly what it is that I want to do. I know exactly what I wanna say. But I don't feel strong enough. Everything just makes me anxious. Feels like that's all there is to me now, all that's left. I still have some people in my life, I know I'm not completely alone. But I just know there's something missing, a huge gap in my heart that I yearn so deeply to get back. I want to try, but I can't get out of my own way.

[gud-soup]

Pink!

Sukuna x reader (jjk fluff)

a/n: Hey y’all! Kind of got tired of writing so i didn’t post that much, but had a few good ideas (and forgot most of them apparently) but not this one, so here it is!

intro: So… we all know that Sukuna IS OLD and remained silent for centuries, it’s quite obvious that he doesn’t know anything about this new decade, therefore… how funny can that be when a kind but short tempered sorcerer tries to explain the curse the everyday life?

➳ Masterlist

“BRAT IT HAPPENED AGAIN!”

“What is it? Don’t tell me you’ve bought one of those knifes you saw on tv again! I already have plenty at home and stop trusting those commercials, they’re known for the scam!” You screamed from your bedroom, as you were trying to finally watch the new episode of your current favourite series

“Just get your ass here!”

You huffed and tiredly climbed out of bed, searching for his voice

As you lazily walked around the house you saw his back from the bathroom, studying something he held on his hands

“I-it’s pink!” You breathed trying to hold your laughs

“Yes l can tell, how do you make it like before? Is there a reverse button in this thing?” He hurriedly asked while sprinting to the machine and pressing all the buttons in there, alternating them with a few kicks and punches

Your eyes grew bigger as you saw the curse trying to break your brand new washing machine

“Sukuna stop! You’re gonna break it! Do you know how much one of these costs? It took me years to get one!” You said while pushing him away from it

“THIS is a scam! That thing can’t even do the proper work! Look! How am I supposed to go around like this?”

“You shouldn’t have from the very beginning”

“What?”

“Let’s go shopping!” You quickly said while leaving the room to get your bag

.

.

“You look good!”

“It’s disgusting I don’t like it” He replied with an awful expression as you sighed. It’s been an hour and a half of him being picky with any clothing you suggested and god knows how many shops you two have already been to

“That’s better” He said with his hands on his hips and a satisfied look, as he exited the fitting room

“Yeah the trousers are pretty good, where’s the rest?”

“What rest?”

“Well, you have to put something on top”

“No…”

“Yes…”

“I’ll go like this! How dare you tell me otherwise!”

“Sukuna, it’s serious offense if you walk around the city shirtless, put something on so we leave please.”

“AND STOP HUFFING! I’M THE ONE WHO IS LOSING PATIENCE HERE!” You screamed as he gave you a middle finger

You deeply exhaled while turning around

“Sorry about that m’am, is this shirt sold even in black?” You kindly asked to a very confused shopping assistant (as if you didn’t just shout to a weirdly tattooed man)

“Here, take this” you said while handing him the black shirt you asked for. It had a nice and simple design, only a few thin lines tracing flames on the sleeve's hem and a very cool graphic in the back

“How is it?” You asked now defeated and tired

“Ok…I guess…” he mumbled

“You still complaining? I haven’t eaten and I also lost my favorite show on my only day off, just cause your ass still can’t use a washing machine despite me explaining it to you several times! Now take it and let’s leave!” You furiously replied while getting up from your seat

“Yes” he quietly followed, shocked by your sudden outburst

“Your total will be $49,90” the shopping assistant almost whispered, scared by the two of you who just gave a show

“Thank you have a nice day!” you warmly smiled while heading out

.

.

“What?” You snapped, now sitting on a bench just to relax a bit, as some kids were playing near the fountain

“I’ve accidentally bought two so…” he mumbled facing away, while handing you a sandwich

“Thanks…” you whispered, now embarassed by your reaction

As you were munching the tasty bread, you were looking at the shops around you

“Do you like chains?”

“W-what? What do you mean?” he caughed, almost choking with his food, taken aback by your question

“See those trousers over there? I feel like you might like them” you simply said while pointing your finger to a mannequin in a shop

“Didn’t know that it could be an item. Do humans nowadays integrate clothings with weapons? It’s a great idea”

“That’s not a weapon, it’s an accessory”

“Yeah, a deadly accessory”

“No! Jeez… let’s just get in and have a look, and don’t complain this time!” you said unwillingly pulling his arm

.

.

“Y/n I like them!” he said widely smiling at you

“I’m happy to know that, it might suit the t-shirt I’ve bought you before!” you smiled back

“Oh yeah, I can see that!” his smile only getting bigger

“Oh! Wait here! I might have something for you!” you said turning around

“Here! What do you think?” you curiously asked while showing him some rings, a bracelet and a nice necklace

“I don’t wear jewels" he reluctantly replied

"It looks good tho, people love it!” you insisted

“Do you…love it too?" he shyly asked looking at what you were holding

“Of course it will look great on you! Trust me!” you replied with glowy eyes

“Fine...” he sighed

.

.

“I still don’t really get it, how did my kimono turn pink?” He suddenly asked as you were putting your keys back and placing the bags on the table

“Well, did you mix it with something red, perhaps?” You asked while taking your shoes off

“No! I’m not stupid! I’ve already done that mistake once and I’ve learned my lesson” he replied following you, remembering how scary you looked that day: it was one of the rare times where he saw you with a completely different aura, that wasn't bubbly and warm as usual; shivers running down his spine at the thought

“You messed up my favorite t-shirt, you know how difficult it is to find such a great item for me?” you asked annoyed, that story still bothers you. It really was you favourite and he ruined it with his red sock

“Again, I didn’t know, but I swear, this time It wasn't me!”

“Fine let me see…" you rolled your eyes as you headed to the bathroom to check what happened to the washing machine

"...nevermind, guess the machine is broken!” You hurriedly replied

“What’s wrong?” he asked leaning on the door

“Nothin’”

“What are you hiding?”

“Nothin’”

“What’s behind your back?”

“Nothing”

“Let me see”

“No” you said, quickly running away from him

“Brat! Let me see!” he shouted as he chased you around the house

"No!" you replied, as he pushed you over the sofa, blocking your moves and pinning your hands to see what you were hiding

"What is-...is that yours?" he asked confused, his ears turning to the same colour of what you were holding

"Well it depends, do you happen to wear panties too?" you genuinely asked, making his face turn even redder

"Brat you ruined my kimono! I'm about to ki-"

"Wait! Look at the bright side!"

"Which is?"

"It matches your hair"

[lubdubsworld]

Blackberry Winters.

Part 1

Check part one for warnings 💔

Part 2.

Namjoon stared at his mother, her words registering but not quite sinking in. He blinked, a couple of times and swallowed dryly, trying to gather his wits that felt like they'd been scattered to the four winds. There was a dull ringing in his ear, a feeling of impending horror and he had to fight to bring himself back to the present.

"She is...?" He couldn't even say it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realised the irony of it. It wasn't supposed to makes him feel that way. The reason he had taken her to bed was for this : a heir to take over the duties of the head alpha after him. And yet, he knew that he couldn't just ignore all the things that would come with having a pregnant mate. All the added responsibility.

At the heart of it , Namjoon was exhausted.

He had been trained for this position but it didn't make it any easier. His wolf yearned for solitude and serenity, peaceful quiet where he could contemplate life and all its mysteries but the duties and responsibilities kept piling up. He had no time to indulge in such whimsical fantasies. From daybreak to sundown, he drowned in problems that demanded solutions, issues that required his intervention and he was always giving so much of himself to so many.

It was as taking a toll.

And now here was the promise of another new soul. A pup. Fully dependant on him for survival. It was hard to be ecstatic.

" Why do you look so surprised? Have you not been sleeping with her?" She frowned, moving closer to the small wooden bench in the corner of the room. She sat down, primly adjusting the large swathes of her skirt. Even at her age, she was a beauty and despite being a widow, she was treated with great respect by all the wolves in the clan.

" I have... Of course...I just didn't expect her to ...so soon. " He muttered hesitantly. He made a quick calculation, Conceived at the end of autumn meant the child would be born at the end of summer. Rains and more rains. He would have to commission the weavers to make a lot of warm blankets and thick bedding for the babe. And make sure that all the birthing huts had their roofs mended. He felt an ache in his chest. He knew he had to have a heir. It was part of what he was responsible for. But he wasn't ready to be a father yet. Especially not with someone like her.

" You haven't been very subtle in your disdain for her, Joon. It makes me wonder of perhaps I have failed in teaching you the ways of a husband." His mother's sharp voice made him wince.

His parents had been deeply in love with each other. His mother had been an equal contributor in running the clan, his father's most trusted confidante. He couldn't imagine having something like that with the woman he had rather recklessly chained himself to for life. But he couldn't be openly defiant in front of his mother.

So he bowed.

" I've tried to talk to her mother. She looks at me like I'm some marauding villain."

Lady Kim scoffed.

" Because, for all she knows, you may as well be one. Think of who she is, how she was raised. Her mother died when she was eight and she has been keeping house for her father since then. It Is a miracle she knows how to read a few words and to write her own name. Old man Gong is unkind and cruel and I've only ever watched him treat her like an unruly dog that needed discipline and never like his own flesh and blood. She knows men to be cruel and powerful and capable of doing her great harm. Add to it your status as the head of the clan, of course she thinks you're dangerous. "

" am I to be blamed for her childhood now?"

" Don't be obtuse. That is not what I'm saying. I just want you to consider her upbringing, before you write her off as dramatic or hysterical. "

Namjoon sighed deeply.

" Alright, mother. I'll try to talk to her again. "

And he knew that he had to. If he wanted some semblance of peace in his life, he would have to make an effort with his wife.

----------------------------

Jiah sat by the haybale near the barn, cross-legged on the dirty floor as she watched Misu and Loshim, two of the stable boys tend to the horses. She stared at the careful way they brushed the large beasts, their tone gentle and soothing as they murmured reassurance to the agitated animals. She found it fascinating, how even an animal that powerful could feel fear and anxiety. It made her feel better about her own shortcomings.

From a very young age, she had known of her flaws. She was jittery, prone to cold sweats and breathing problems, easily frightened and absolutely terrified of confrontation of any kind. Her parents had been, to put it lightly, unkind. They had seen her as a burden, as something broken and useless and cumbersome and that had done nothing for her self esteem.

To make matters worse, they didn't let her attend lessons with the other omega girls, her education limited to scribbled writing on granite with chalk when her father was feeling bored or charitable. She could read a few words with difficulty . Could write her name out if you gave her some time and patience.

At first, her ignorance had been embarassing but over time she realised her education wouldn't serve her much purpose.

She thought of herself as something temporary and fleeting. Not meant to leave any lasting impression on the world. So it was alright if she didn't know what every other girl her age did. She was going to live and die in that hut near the boundary walls..... She would have no use for fancy words or exotic dances.

Or so she hd always believed.

So when the head alpha had asked for her hand in marriage, she had nearly passed out from her heart giving out.

Namjoon was seven years older, almost thirty winters old and she had only ever caught glimpses of him when he came to check on her father's watchpost occasionally. He was a tall man, strapping and intimidating with dragon eyes that glowed red. And one evening he had stopped by her side when she had been tending the beets and potatoes in the small vegetable garden out back.

He had stared at her for a few long minutes while she had sweated in nervousness and then he had promptly asked for her father. When the man had Stepped in and told her father that he was looking to make her his bride, the old man had been jubilant while Jiah had been confounded.

She hadn't wanted to say yes but she had been too much of a coward to say no. Besides, she didn't know if saying no would have any repurcussions....she didn't want to risk offending the literal head of the entire clan. What if they banished her? What would become of her then?

And so she had said yes. And here she was.

Mated to the man for life, her wolf connected to his and his mark on her neck and now....his child in her womb.

She felt the familiar stirring of panic, digging her nails into her palm to ground herself .

Jiah had long come to terms with the fact that her mind was not her friend. It sometimes tried to attack her , tried to make her feel irrational things. It convinced her that she was a bother, that she was useless, that she was a burden. It also tried to tell her that she was in danger, that she had to run and avoid and get away, even when she was perfectly safe.

When she had first come here as the head Alphas new wife, her brain had wrecked havoc on her senses. Had made her feel like a hunted animal, always cowering and hiding and trying to disappear . Namjoon had tried to be friendly, tried to be courteous and all she had done was hide and recoil, skin ice cold and words practically non existent. She hadn't said a word to him those first few days and even the bedding had been a nightmare, her entire body stiff as a board and she knew that he had probably felt like he was making love to a corpse.

She regretted it. Deeply. But there was not much she could do about it now. Besides she wasn't sure she even wanted to. It was obvious her husband's affections lay elsewhere. She had seen the way he looked at that courtesan. Had seen him sneak out for walks with her, had seen them huddled together in the room with all the scrolls and leather bound books.

Jisoo was a beautiful omega, well read and trained in musical arts. She played the gayageum and the flute, knew how to entertain guests with a perfect ceremonial dance and she was always at the helm of every festivity, dressed in vibrant fabrics and full of life.

She was also madly in love with Namjoon.

Jiah sighed, watching the horses paw at the dirty stable floor. She wanted to get to know her husband, yes. But she knew that even if she did, he would only find her wanting and inadequate in all ways.

And that was just not acceptable .

She maybe self aware when it came to her short comings but she also had her pride.

She would rather live like this. Tucked away like an embarassment, hidden like a dirty secret because then there would be no piercing gaze weighing her against her peers and declaring her broken.

Yes.

Pregnant or not, she wanted nothing to do with her husband.

------------------------

" Are you feeling well now?" Namjoon's voice startled her, eyes going wide as she looked around the resting quarters , gaze finally falling on the man standing near the large table on the side. Namjoon was bent over the rough oak surface , papers spread out in front of him, an oil lamp burning bright nearby, casting a sepia shadow on the man himself and she hesitated, debating the pros and cons of excusing herself to go see his mother instead. Maybe claiming a headache?

In the end she did neither, resolving to at least make an effort with this.

" I'm well, alpha. " She swallowed the lump in her throat. " I'm sorry for inconveniencing you. "

He straightened, turning around to look at her finally.

" Do you wish to move into another room?" He said briskly and she startled.

" Another room?"

" Now that you are with pup, there's no reason for us to keep sleeping together. I prefer having my own space. "

Jiah felt the blood rush through her ears. This shouldn't hurt but it did and she could feel the self loathing flood her senses. She stared down at herself, the lack of beauty and the utter lack of any kind of elegant upbringing. Of course he didn't want to stay with her any longer. What had she been thinking , agreeing to this farce of a mating?

" I... Alright. "

Namjoon turned away from her.

" Good. I've already arranged for all your things to be moved to the west wing , next to the gardens."

Far away from his rooms, Jiah thought bitterly. The sudden realization that Namjoon had been looking for some sort of brood mare and not a mate hit her . And it suddenly made sense that he hd picked her.

Someone easy to boss around.

Someone who wouldn't demand anything from him, loyalty or affection or attention .

And it irked her for some reason.

Why did he get to treat her that way? Why must she put up with it?

But she stayed quiet because she wasn't sure what to say.

" You can leave now, Jiah. " He said dismissively and she hesitated before stepping out of the room.

And she wondered if with her departure, someone else would be taking her place in his bed.

-----------------------------

Authors Note : would you guys like first person narrative or should I continue in third person? 👀

[peralta-guaranteed]

can you write something base on this incorrect quote? https://burnonyou.tumblr.com (stealing anons idea)

Amy's questioning "Babe?" called into the dark, but definitely populated apartment (the randomly thrown shoes and leather jacket over the dining chair are a dead give away) is only answered by a deep groan from the bedroom, one that sounds muffled through pillows, so she's not surprised when she finds Jake face-down on the mattress.

What's confusing is that he's still fully dressed, and clearly not trying to get to sleep, his hands balling up the blanket underneath him in frustration as he barely lifts his head when she sits down next to him and starts sifting through his curls.

"What happened?" Amy asks, and he lets out another groan.

"I am the most embarassing person in the world."

"Sometimes, yes." She smiles, because she can tell despite all the signs that this isn't as much of an episode as it seems. She knows him by now - knows how to read his overplayed shock and drama from the actual hurt and sorrow he hides so well. "What did you do?"

"I ran into Holt at the coffee shop, and he was reading this book, and I recognised it from your nightstand, so I asked him about it." Jake still mumbles into the pillow, and Amy almost forgets to listen as she feels a jolt of excitement about the knowledge that she and the Captain are currently delving deep into the same philosophical treatise she's been devouring after work.

"That doesn't sound embarassing."

"No, but he was like, really getting into it. I thought I'd get a short comment with five words I don't understand like always, but he started explaining it and talking about the last chapter and stuff, and then I was sitting down with him with my coffee and he just kept talking."

"Babe, that all sounds nice." Amy busies herself with one of Jake's longer curls, ignoring the tiniest bit of jealousy that Jake got Holt to 'geek out' over a book she herself was reading, but she could remedy that easily by mentioning it during their next meeting or something. She'd get her moment too.

"It was. It was really nice. We had, like, a whole moment. I kinda got into the book too. Because he liked it so much. It was cool."

Jake sighs, deeply, and Amy feels him tense under her hand.

"And then I called him dad."

"You've done that before, it's not that bad. I think he finds it more funny than embarassing."

"No, but this was different." Jake finally turns around, curls into a little ball as he presses his face against her thigh, and she resumes scratching along his temple down to his neck. "It was like, really personal. Way too much. Like, there was this moment, and then I went and did the stupid emotional baggage thing, and it ruined it all."

Amy can only smile as she imagines her Golden Retriever boyfriend in all his excited, tail-wagging happiness intently listening to Holt explaining something, getting sucked into the story as much as he always does when someone is really passionate about something. She sees them in that coffee shop she knows so well - Holt always sits in the same corner, too - talking and nodding and spurning each other on, and something tells her that there's nothing embarassing or moment-ruining about Jake's word association blunder. Not that it really was one - the few ‘Dad’s that have escaped him before where more mindless than anything, but she knows well enough that they were all meant with the same feeling, even if Jake wouldn’t be too happy to admit it to himself or anyone else.

"I really don't think you messed up, Jake." She tries to gently calm him. "It sounds like it fit the moment, anyway."

Jake only groans again as he presses his face even harder against her jeans.

-*-

“Raymond?” Kevin asks with hesitation, having found no trace of his husband in the kitchen or the dining room, where he’d usually expect to find him at this hour of the evening. But he’s been enarmored with the book he’d recommended to him a week ago, and so it is not quite as surprising to find him in the reading room. What is surprising is that he is not reading, the mentioned tome lying on the desk beside him instead, Cheddar at his feet, and his face in a clear state of a very hard to read emotion.

“Are you alright?”

Holt’s initial reaction is to apologise, as he is won’t to do when he’s bothering someone with an emotional outburst, until he remembers that he’s facing his husband, the only person in the world who he’s not ashamed to be emotional in front of, so he only shakes his head.

“I am afraid you will find me quite a mess tonight, Kevin.”

“What happened?” Kevin kneels down to pet Cheddar, who has dutifully trodded over to him for greetings, but not taking his eyes off of Holt, who sighs.

“Peralta met me at the coffee shop today, during my usual after work coffee break before the drive home.”

“He didn’t upset you, did he?”

“No.” Holt shakes his head, then leans it against his palm, a thinking pose that is rare to see and never fails to incite just the lightest spark of desire in Kevin when he gets to witness his partner so vulnerable and attractive at the same time. “Quite the opposite. He asked me about the book you recommended.”

“He’s surely not reading it.”

“No, it seems that Santiago is.”

“Ah.” Kevin nods as he gets up again, Cheddar returning to his seat at Holt’s slippered feet. That makes far more sense - he’d thought it might interest the young detective, actually, and had been thinking about sending her a message about the book, but then considered that their relationship was not yet at the level where one could simply leave reading recommendations in the other’s email inbox.

“I tried to summarise the book for him in a way he would understand, too, but then-” Holt shakes his head with a huff, almost a smile, and Kevin can’t resist stepping closer to the chair until he can lean against its armrest. “I- I simply lost control, and began talking about it without pause. It is a wonderful read, really. Even Peralta seemed interested - despite my treatise being longer than ten minutes, it kept his attention span.”

“That’s remarkable.” Kevin scoffs only a little, still teetering on his like or dislike of the young man.

“It really was. It felt quite - connecting, in a way. I think people would describe it as ‘being a moment’ between us, if you understand.”

He nods, silently, because he can tell that the big reveal is yet to come, the story of emotions across Holt’s face moving to the finish line - his husband is a wonderful storyteller, but sometimes he does push the act to its limits.

“And then Peralta got lost in his reply to me, as well, and called me Dad.” Holt says in a much quieter voice than before, and Kevin can tell from the slight quiver of his lip that he’s fighting back tears.

“You’ve mentioned him calling you that before.” He tries to be gentle, to not upset him any further, knowing full well that those mentioned situations meant more to Holt than maybe he himself was willing to admit yet.

“Yes, but not- I think not in this way.” Holt presses a finger to his lips for a second, as if he’s searching for the right words. “Usually, it seems more like he is forgetting himself when he says it, simply substituting me as an authoritative person for a father figure. But this time, it felt quite... emotional. Like I had been bestowed the title properly.”

Kevin’s hand finds the top of his, laying flat on the armrest between them, and gives it a soft squeeze, barely appropriate now that they’re alone in their own home.

“He looks up to you, Raymond. I wouldn’t be surprised to know that you’ve gained that title quite a while ago.”

He feels his husband take in a sharp breath, and lets go of his hand immediately.

“And I think you’d suit the title quite well, too. For Jake.”

[tokimihyachi]

Shampoo

Pairing: Fuegoleon Vermillion X Reader

Warning/s: None but fuego being cute

Walking back and forth in what seemed like endless circles, a hand holding his chin while thinking deeply to himself, Fuegoleon, considered to be one of the strongest Magic Knight captains in Clover Kingdom, has been fussing over something for the past few hours.

He's been going on and on about his options, but things didn't seem right. Due to his indecisiveness, he just decided to buy all of them and hope that he finds the one that would match and work.

Monday morning. You wake up a little late due to staying up all night watching Leopold flex his new magic in front of you. Honestly speaking, it took every fiber within you not to kick him out last night. But the boy's charm was too cute not to resist.

After taking a nice warm bath and getting your clothes on, the Vice-captain of the squad, Randall, greets you a good morning to which you happily reply back.

Leo along with Fuegoleon soon follow, "GOOD MORNING Y/N!!!" the little lion cub yelled, running into you for a hug but you were able to dodge it making him stumble on the floor.

"No, Leo! Do you realize how sleepy I still am because I had to watch you do what? Throw your fire in the air like some circus act for three hours! Three goddamn hours!" You and Leo continued bickering until you noticed Fuegoleon was thinking deeply to himself.

"Captain is there a problem?" You asked stepping forward and giving a light tap on his shoulder, making him flinch.

"Do you notice anything... different?" he asked, eyeing your face. His gaze at you was relentless making you blush in place.

"I-I uhm, nothing in particular. Should I be noticing something, Sir?" you asked back and he shook his head, plastering a generous smile at you.

"No. We should eat breakfast." and so he left you there who was still confused about his question.

'Hmm, it smells like lemons today.'

Wednesday afternoon. You've just returned from a mission and went straight to the bathroom to take a bath.

Can't have you reporting to your beautiful captain while you looked like some wet and ugly bird who's species can't even be identified now, don't we?

Your captain wasn't in his office when you checked so you went around the base to look for him only to find him sitting in the middle of the garden's base with both of his hands covering his head.

His mana as you drew near became more scattered, but as you took a step closer, a smell lingered and made their presence known, 'Roses. Did the gardeners add a batch of roses this week?' You thought inwardly, before tapping Fuegoleon on the shoulder.

"Oh, Y/N. How long have you been there?" the gentleman that he is, Fuegoleon gestured for you to have a seat beside him before giving you more space in between.

"Not long. I came to report our mission, Sir." his eyes looked for you for a few seconds, searching for something you could not pinpoint before he sighs to himself and stands up, "Alright. Let's go." he said and left, again.

‘Is he avoiding me?'

Sunday night. As one of the only women in the Crimson Lion Kings, you took it as your own mission to guarantee that the boys always eat with a full stomach, and made sure they were well fed during dinner.

Although Fuegoleon once said that there is no need for you to so, you insisted, saying this was the least you can for them, or more so, for him.

Rushing over to your captain's bedroom, you knocked a few times and no one answered so you decided to just barge in. What's the worst that could happen, right?

Your lack of common judgement was instantly slammed against your face as the Vermillion-haired royal went out of the bathroom door with only his towel wrapping the bottom half of his body. His well-defined abs in clear vision as well as his toned muscles.

Your foot did the work for you and left almost immediately, not giving Fuegoleon any chance of reacting. 'I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything, but oh my God, did you see his abs? his arms? it's not like captain Yami's but he works out too!!! Stupid, stupid, selfish towel—'

"You can come in now, Y/N."

Not even bothering to look at him, heat rises to your cheeks as you kept you head down low, "I-I'm re-really sorry, captain." after bowinng for what seemed like a good five minutes, Fuegoleon moved from his table and placed a hand on your shoulder, finally realizing that you weren't the only one who was flustered.

"It's fine." he reassured you despite the embarassment, "What brings you here?" he asked moving away from you.

"Dinner, Sir. I-It's time fore dinner, that is." you clarified, blushing even more. If there was a prize for best impersonation of a tomato you would've already won the award.

He looks at you and nods, but something took over your senses making you speak up suddenly, "By any chance did you... change the hair product that you use, captain?" Fuegoleon turns as soon as the word 'change' left your mouth.

His eyes twinkled in hope for a second before sighing to himself and smiling like an idiot, "How come you've noticed?" he asked, his uneasy smile no longer there.

"I've been smelling different things for the whole week, cap. From lemons, chamomile, berries, honey, roses, but—but this... this is my favorite." you replied passing by him to open the door.

"I don't think you need to change your hair products, Sir. Lavendar suits you most in my opinion." your statement alone had made him giddy and childish, grinning like a kid who's wish came true.

Before closing the door you added one more thing, "I like lavendar. A lot. See you at dinner, cap!" but even after you closed the door, you could basically hear Fuegoleon inside his room cheering:

'YES!'

BONUS:

One of the things Fuegoleon took pleasure in, was walking around the base to enjoy the scenery, but as he was passing by the kitchen, he accidentally heard Y/N's conversation with one of the cook's and the question they asked her, genuinely intrigued him.

"So, what do you like in a guy, Y/N?" the head chef of the Crimson Lions asked her.

Y/N smiles widely before answering, "A man who is responsible and caring for other people. Someone who's passionate in what they're doing and is just an overall amazing person and easy to converse with— OH!! I also like it when they take good care of their hair. The good smelling shampoos? Big turn on there." she explained, making the staff laugh loudly knowing she was describing him.

'Will this be my stepping stone towards becoming closer to her? But what are her preferences?' Fuegoleon thought.

"Seriously look at you all head over heels for him. What scent does he even have?"

'Him? She's interested in someone?'

"His scent? That's a secret. You might want and try to copy his smell just to impress me, who knows." she jokes around making them chortle.

'I shall make my scent be known.' And with an unfaltering objective, Fuegoleon does research about shampoo for a week straight during his spare time.

[mitsukijuni]

yet another smut fic of mondstadt npcs, this time Wagner and his apprentice, Schulz🤥

______________

Summer in Mondstadt means days of living through hell for us blacksmiths.

While the others are busy frolicking around in the grassy hills, winds intertwining in between their hair, the both of us are trapped in this cramped space; sounds of metal pounding against metal, water evaporating swiftly into hot mist as hot red iron was dunked into it. The small canopy on top our heads a slight reprieve from the smoldering heat.

With that said, the heat is a blessing in disguise. Summer in Mondstadt could mean a lot of things to others, but to me summer means that my master, Wagner, strips himself off of his shirt more often than any other seasons.

Opportune time for me to let my eyes wander about.

The scars scattered on his arm attracting my eyes, moving like water as he flexes his hand, shoulder blades tensing, hammering down on a rod; shaping it. Sweat dripping down his chest, making him gleam in the light. His presumably rock hard abs clenching as he heaved yet another lift with his hammer.

Although, this does bring some unwanted attention from the others, the town folks walking by our store repeatedly, sometimes even pretending to forget something, their actions deliberate and yet he seem to take no notice. Hell, even Captain Kaeya made a move on my master, leaning in too close for comfort, his only eye lidded with obvious lust.

Okay, maybe I am being a bit overprotective. Not my fault he's so hot.

I never knew when the seed of this —whatever it is— had been planted deep in my heart. But the one thing that I do know of is that, he'd probably never reciprocate this feeling that I have for him, the thought of it making my heart aches. Does he even, feel anything for me, I catch myself wondering at times.

Even when I had begged to him, face facing down into the dirt below, to accept me as his apprentice, he had begrudgingly took me under his wings. Every time I had presented to him a new craft of mine, a simple huff would be his answer before he melts it back down. But, its fine. As long as I get to be by his side, I would be fine admiring from the side.

"Oi!"

A hand; calloused and bigger than mine, circled my wrist, pulling it away roughly. I winced, the hold tight, almost bruising. "Watch what you're doing," he scolded, brows furrowed deeply. The slight panic in his voice alarming me back to reality. I raised my eyes to look at his bearded face, confused as to what happened that elicited such a reaction. That's when I noticed, the melted ore dripping down, my hand mere inches from it and nearly disintegrating my hand had it not been for him.

Silence fell, the topic dropped, faster than I could craft a dagger. The air around us tense as we continue to work and if there was a distance between us whenever we passed each other, neither of us did acknowledge it.

"Wanna go out for a drink?" I had blurted out, a silent hitch of breath escaping my mouth, scolding myself internally. He looked up, his dark eyes gazing into my own, his workspace now tidied and put away. "Sure," I almost missed it with how quiet he had whispered it out. My face lit up but I scrambled for words, explaining to him that he isn't obligated too but the tangent was cut short, "It's okay, Schulz. Let's just go already."

Knowing that I'd never get any other chance like this, I gathered myself, quickly catching up to his retreating figure, already heading towards Angel's Share. "Wait up, master!" I shouted, as I near him, walking briskly, following his pace. The night was silent, cicadas chirps filling it, when he said, "Just Wagner is fine, we're off work." It was my turn to stare at him, wondering since when he's become so, talkative. I hesitated.

"Okay, Wagner."

By the time we had reached the tavern, drinks were passed around, men and women stuffing their bellies with wine and countless pints of beers. The young lad, Venti was there too, drunk as it seems by how flushed his face had became. We sat on opposite ends, facing each other, between us a single pint of beer each.

Few minutes passed, the drink in my mug almost finished and yet not a single word was exchanged, leaving us-maybe just me-in an uncomfortable silence. The bearer stopped by our table many times, each time leaving a mountain of alcohol. And each time I drank and drank until I could no longer see the man in front of me clearly.

"I like you, Wagner."

I had messed up, I knew that and yet, I couldn't help but to gush out all of my feelings; bottled and finally being let out. Wagner sat there, his drink untouched. Empty beer mugs filled the space between us, the sight of the wooden table underneath vanished. By the time I had finished venting, an awkward silence hung amid us.

Wagner stood up, silently heading towards the bar, his pouch in hand. That's it, I was rejected, point blank. He must have left by now, the seat in front of me now vacant, my head hung low, tears brimming. A hand awkwardly clamped down on my drooping shoulder, sweat warming the spot. I glanced up, slowly meeting black eyes, red hue staining his cheeks.

He came back.

"Do you want to, um, come back to my place?" he sheepishly said, his other hand massaging his nape. I looked at him, surprised at what he had just said. With each seconds passing by, the red shade on his face grew brighter. "So, you're going to come or-"

"Yes!"

Or so I said, brimming with confidence too. But now as I sat on top of his bed, palms gripping onto my knees tightly, my thoughts wandered wildly to where this would lead us. Wagner waltz into the room, face still flushed from the amount of beers and ciders he had swallowed.

Rustling caught my attention; the man trying to —clumsily— untie the laces of his corset. The saliva welling in my throat felt heavy, I swallowed it before nearing his stumbling figure. "Would you like a hand, with that?" Wagner looked down at it for a second, accusing almost before relenting; his arms hanging limply by his sides.

Shakily, I held the ribbons, sweaty palms making me lose my grip on it. I let out a nervous laughter to which Wagner replied with a warm smile, my giggles fading, bright red blushing my cheeks.

We stood in silence, my fingers deftly working on the ties of the corset, metal clasps making a loud 'snap' sound that echoed in the room. I became aware that, the both of us are alone, in his room, whilst I was untying his corset and we're alone and I could see the chest hair peeking through from the laces of his shirt and

I have an erection.

'Fuck, why now,' I lamented, tilting my head back in frustration.

"Is everything alright, Schulz?"

And my erection grew harder, the way my name rolled off his tongue, albeit it came out slurred, was just incredibly sexy. My thighs shifting, trying my best to cover up said growing problem. Wagner however, was sober enough that he noticed the tent, proceeded to grope it, a drunken crooked smile creasing the corner of his lips.

"Wagner, wait!" At this, his hand stopped, the air becoming tense by the seconds. "You're not thinking right, let's send you to be-" my words were cut off with a simple punch to my shoulder, eyes wide as I looked at the taller man. "Schulz, you idiot. Why else do you think I invited you here?"

Oh.

I stared off to the side, feeling the embarassment creeping up my neck, unwilling to make any sort of eye contact with him. Calloused hand cradled my face, bringing me forward to look at him, warmth in his gaze as he lowered his head down, meeting my lips halfway.

The room, only lit by a candle, left us in darkness. Harsh breaths echoed in my ears as we deepened the kiss, my mouth clumsy against his own, experienced one. I let out a yelp when his hand brushed against my groin, making a shiver run down my spine.

Wagner's lips slowly moved away, leaving a trail of saliva and started to mouth at my neck, "You seem to enjoy this," he whispered with a tint of humour in his tone. "You don't even know the extent of it," I sighed out as his hand continues to rub against my cock.

A clank of metal and my cock was out, twitching upon hitting the cold air. The first stroke made me lean against the wooden wall, lips still attached on my neck, as Wagner leisurely jerk me off.

Hitched whines and gasp was the only sound that came out of me, his fingers lightly scratching the sensitive head before he flatted his palm against it, rubbing and rubbing until drool dribbled down my chin. "Fuck Wagner," I breathed out, eyes rolled back when he cupped my balls, rolling it in between his palm.

Suddenly, he ceased all of his doings, making me groan in frustration. "Can't have all the fun," untying the laces of his pants, Wagner sat on the bed; creaking under his weight, expectant as he looked at me. I gulped.

This was my first time doing anything remotely sexual afterall.

Kneeling in front of him hesitantly, I looked meeting the lust filled stare of his before opening my mouth and taking him whole. Which proved to be a mistake since moments later, I spluttered, choking on his length. Wagner's finger trailed over my throat, comforting, as his other hand slowly direct my head into motion.

Taking in his cock, inch by inch and with the help of Wagner, I was able to reach the base, breathing loudly at the effort taken. Wagner growled out a moan, the sound so feral making my own cock spasm. Mouth stretched open, painful yet pleasurable, I bobbed my head up and down, the tip of his cock hitting the back of my throat.

"Is this okay?" I asked, the words muffled and the only indication that Wagner was feeling anything, was the grip in my hair tightening. A popping sound echoed as I stopped to take a breather, momentary it seems when Wagner grabbed my head and started to fuck my mouth, leaving me gasping and holding onto his knees.

Just as sudden it happened, he halted, although his hips are still trying to buck into my throat. "Come on," was all the warning that he gave, dragging me up the bed effortlessly. 

Wagner, now stripped fully, crawled over me, his whole figure encaging mine. A dip and a kiss and I was writhing under him, clawing at any muscled surface I could reach. Tongue licking stripes over my neck, chest, stomach, and finally settling against my taint, leaving me a shuddering mess. Lapping at my puckered hole, he inserted a finger making my whole body tense.

He studied my face for a while, inserting another finger in, rubbing and searching for something. "Ah!" Wagner smiled, knowing. He pressed down, stroking it over and over, pre-cum pooling at the tip of my cock, face now scarlet all over. Mouth wide open as I tried to suck in air, desperate before Wagner took his fingers out, leaving me craving and hole throbbing in need.

Arms laid limp by my side, reaching out to spread my cheeks revealing my hole to Wagner, “Please,” a sharp intake of breath and he was on top of me once again, stealing all my air with a kiss, hands clumsy on my waist. I moaned into the kiss when I felt the nudging of the tip of his cock against my hole. 

Carefully, he pushed in, a gasp of pain released from my lips; breaking the kiss. Wagner braced an arm before leaning down, nipping and kissing my collarbones in an attempt to soothe my nerves down. It took minutes but finally, he was fully sheathed in. "Can I move?" Wagner breathed out, face scarlet and brows furrowed.

And with a nod, he moved. First, out all the way before going back in, making sure that I was opening up to his length. Tongue finds it to way my nipples, sucking in and sending jolts of pleasure, taking me away from the numbing pain.

He soon picked up his speed, brushing against that one spot, flashes behind my eyes. Muscled arms came to cradle my figure, bringing me closer to his chest as he slammed into me. Mouth wide open, a silent scream hitched, and with each thrusts I couldn't help but to just hang onto him.

Heat coiled in my gut and sweats trickled down my back; I am close, that I was certain of. Wagner seems to know that too, a warm palm circling my cock, jerking me in time with the thrust.

"Wagner, I, ah! I'm going to-" a kiss cut me off, moustache tickling against my chin. And with just a few more thrust of hips, I was cumming in his hand, stomachs splattered white and my insides filled.

We fell back into the bed, Wagner shifting his weight off of me, his cock slowly going soft in me. "Well, how's that for a first date," I laughed at that, Wagner letting out a huff. I let out a small whine when he pulled out of me. "Don't cry, there'll be a next time."

And to that, I looked at him, shocked.

"There's a next time?" My face was dusted red when Wagner gave me a look. "Of course there'll be a next time," hand ruffled my hair, making it unkempt even more. Smiling at him, I leaned forward to give him a kiss, Wagner grinning back into it.

"I like you too, Schulz."

[lesetoilesfous]

6. Fumbling, tickly, giggly sex - Zevran/Alistair?

This was so much FUN. I sometimes find these guys hard to write but this was such a perfect prompt for them and I loved it. Thank you Carta!

(If you’d like me to write you a dragon age fic, send me a prompt from here!)

@dadrunkwriting

Pairing: Zevistair

Characters: Zevran Arainai, Alistair Theirin, brief guest appearance from Morrigan

Tags: smut, anal sex, hand jobs, oral sex, fluff and smut, oblique reference to past trauma

Rating: Explicit

“Wait, wait,” Alistair’s words dissolve into giggles and Zevran sits back on his hips, perplexed as he waits for the broad, muscular man beneath him to catch his breath, red faced and flushed all the way to the tips of his very faintly pointed ears. At last Alistair gets his breath back, the red of his blush almost drowning out his freckles. “Not - not there.”

Zevran raises an eyebrow. He’s a trained hunter, and he knows how to spot prey when it’s offered to him with such delicious naivety. He leans forward, letting his hair slip forward over his bare shoulder and the thick broad strokes of tattoo there in a way that catches Alistair’s attention and holds it for long enough for Zevran to slip a hand between Alistair’s legs, curling his fingertips against the sensitive skin behind his knee.

Alistair yelps and jerks, and Zevran has sensationally fast reflexes to thank for avoiding a knee to the groin. It doesn’t matter, he tumbles back onto the mattress, laughing hard enough to make his belly hurt, Alistair’s indignant shriek ringing in his ears as his eyes warm with lazy, laughing tears. 

The mattress dip and shifts as Alistair sits up, turning to climb slowly and stiffly over Zevran, his tall, muscular, mostly human body easily dwarving Zevran’s elvhen form - though Zevran .likes to think there is not so much between them, as far as muscularity goes. 

“My eyes are up here.” Alistair’s voice is rueful, teasing, and only a little embarassed.

With effort, Zevran tears his eyes from the russet brown hair grazing Alistair’s generous chest. He appeases himself with lifting a hand to appreciatively squeeze his lover’s impressive pectoral muscles. “But mi amor, your body is art,” Alistair blushes, pinkly, in a way that prettily highlights his freckles, and Zevran gives him a crooked grin as he rolls a thumb over his nipple. “It would be a sin not to appreciate it.”

“Yes - ah,” Alistair catches himself, flushing red, falling forward a little on the bed, and Zevran feels his breath catch in his chest. It was always a breathtaking thing, to bring down a man so mighty. Not that Zevran wants to bring down Alistair so much as he wants to fall with him (however dangerous the thought.) 

Outside their tent, there’s the heavy sound of Dog’s snores, and the distant hoot of an owl. The fabric walls around them rustle in the breeze, and Alistair clears his throat, bare skin pimpling with the sudden cold. “Hang on, I was getting revenge.”

Zevran tries to maintain his smile, though it’s harder to do so dishonestly these days with Alistair. “Ah, I am afraid that will not work on me. I cannot be tickled,” Or many other things besides, but Zevran has no interest in listing them here, now. Alistair, for his part, is not deterred - and if he picks up the shadow in Zevran’s expression he doesn’t comment on it.

Instead, he raises his eyebrows and says, boldly, “Challenge accepted.”

Then he dips his head towards Zevran’s waist: a direction for the evening Zevran is all too happy to embrace, until Alistair’s lips land on his stomach and he blows a wet, farting raspberry against Zevran’s bare skin. Zevran swears and wriggles away from him, and Alistair cackles, rolling away, blankets tangled between his thick thighs.

Zevran chases him. “This, my friend, is war.” He moves for Alistair’s knees, but Alistair catches him, and for a minute or more they wrestle, laughing and naked and warm, until at last Zevran’s superior dexterity wins him the battle, and he ducks behind Alistair and tickles him until he’s breathless and beating the thin fabric of their joined bedrolls for mercy.

Red faced and breathless, chest and cheeks aching with laughter, Zevran relents, and Alistair rolls over, face tear-streaked and red, eyes crinkled at the corners as he pulls Zevran down into a warm, fierce hug, holding him close and covering his cheek and hair with kisses. Zevran submits to it momentarily, before wriggling a little in Alistair’s warm arms to look up at him, blowing a strand of hair away from his nose as he does so. “Not that I’m complaining, mi amor, but shouldn’t you be angry? I was doing the torturing, no?”

Alistiar sighs, happily and presses a kiss to Zevran’s lips, nuzzling against him. “It’s just nice when you laugh.” He says, honestly, giddily, as unguarded as a teenager. Something in Zevran’s chest aches, at that. Then he catches Alistair’s face and kisses him, deeply, fiercely, catching his lip gently between his teeth and biting just hard enough that he moans for it, raking his nails through Alistair’s thick hair and down the back of his neck, over his back.

Alistair’s moan deepens into something rougher, and he pushes back, strong and forceful with his feeling as they tumble again and Zevran falls toward the bedroll, caught easily by Alistair (cradled), as Alistair dips between his legs, hands fumbling with the jar of oil half forgotten by their packs. Part of Zevran wants to stop him, pull him up, tell him that he’s better at this part. Most of Zevran loves Alistair for trying, anyway.

So he lets Alistair lick clumsily at his cock, and he feels himself getting hard anyway, and he tells himself it isn’t because of the way Alistair glances up at him, shy and sweet for all his muscle and all his scars. 

Thick, blunt, warm figures slick with oil brush between Zevran’s ass cheeks, and Zevran lies back, tugging a pillow beneath his back as he tilts his hips up. Alistair mumbles a thank you and presses a kiss to the head of Zevran’s cock, glancing up at him anxiously before gently pressing one finger inside him. Soothingly, Zevran pets his hair, and encouraged, Alistair licks a long stripe up Zevran’s dick. Zevran tries to ignore the voices of the sex workers he grew up with, laughing at him for giving in to such amateur attentions. It’s easy when Alistair presses a tender, gentle kiss to the side of his knee, gently slipping another finger inside him whilst he mouths at Zevran’s cock.

Zevran leans back on the thin pillows and stares up at the silver glow of the witchlight lamp hanging from the roof of their tent. His fingers curl into the blankets as he resists his own impatience, but when Alistair moves to add a third finger Zevran sits up, catching his wrist gently. “That’s enough, mi amor. I’m ready.”

Alistair frowns a little, sweet as a puppy, and Zevran tries to ignore the part of himself that melts at that and presses a kiss to his lips anyway. When he pulls back, Alistair mumbles against his mouth, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

There are a thousand things Zevran could say to that and none of them are in good taste. So instead he leans back, tugging Alistair over him as he parts his legs and hooks his knees over his shoulders in a familiar stretch, rolling his hips so that his ass brushes Alistair’s thick, warm cock, already damp with precum. Zevran meets Alistair’s eyes. “I’m ready.”

Alistair swallows, and nods, and picks up the vial - dropping it between his slippery fingers and swearing, “Andraste’s tits.” Zevran laughs as Alistair fumbles for the vial in the blankets, spilling a mess on the linen that Zevran has no interest in explaining to Wynne before covering his cock with so much lube it looks as if it’s been dipped in honey.

Zevran does not try to hide the fact he’s staring and Alistair reddens again. Zevran responds to this by rolling his hips, ankles hooked together behind Alistair’s neck. Alistair laughs, softly, “Alright, alright.” His voice is rough and low as he guides his cock to Zevran’s asshole, slipping once and smearing oil over Zevran’s skin before he manages to push himself inside. Both of them exhale as slowly, painstakingly, Alistair pushes inside of Zevran. 

Zevran hums, clenching around Alistair’s cock in a way that makes him moan as he rolls his hips forward easily, lazily. “Fuck me, amor.” Alistair’s breath catches, and he leans forward, strong arms framing Zevran’s head as he looks down at him, muscles in his abdomen tensing. 

“Your wish is my command.” 

Moving one hand to help hold Zevran’s hips, Alistair pulls out a little, fucking back into him with a groan. Alistair is inexpert, still relatively unpracticed in this, but Zevran isn’t, and Alistair makes up for his lack of any technique with disarming enthusiasm. At some point, one of his hands ends up wound with Zevran’s beside his head, and the other, slick with oil, pulls at Zevran’s cock as he fucks him, hard and a little uneven, huffing with the effort.

Eventually, Zevran notices the way Alistair’s breath is stuttering and squeezes his hand, lifting his hips. “Faster, amor. Harder.”

The warden had once compared Alistair to a battering ram. Zevran thinks the comparison is not inaccurate: Alistair has no finesse but his strength is breathtaking, and Zevran’s body is shoved up the blankets with the force of his thrusts - a matter which makes Alistair falter until Zevran laughs, touching his cheek. “That’s good, Alistair. Fuck me, I’m not going to break.”

Alistair’s eyes get a little dark at that, and his hand in Zevran’s tightens, the one that had been pulling his cock releasing it briefly to hold Zevran’s hips down as he fucks him, hard and rushed as a teenager. Zevran has had more than his share of his lovers, and these inexpert attentions should not charm him as much as they do - but there’s something about the way Alistair keeps looking at him, half to check on him, half because he seems unable to stop staring - something about the way Alistair’s hands clutch his hips and his fingers and don’t bruise  - something about the way his great chest drips with sweat, skin golden in the lantern light as he pants, fucking Zevran into the blankets...Alistair comes with a soft moan, buckling, and Zevran follows him helplessly, coming untouched between their bodies as Alistair spends himself inside him.

Warm and wet and filthy, both of them collapse into one another, Alistair pulling Zevran easily into his arms. For a long moment they just pant, sated and exhausted, warm in each other’s embrace. 

Then Alistair groans, and lifts his head a little to look down at their filthy blankets. “Oh Maker, I don’t want to explain this to Wynne in the morning.”

Zevran snorts, and the snort breaks into a giggle, and then he’s laughing hard enough to make his belly ache. Alistair stares at him, delighted and a little chagrined, right up until something scorching and electric singes their tent, and Morrigan’s voice shouts across their camp. 

“I can live with the sex, but would you two please stop laughing? Some of us are trying to sleep.”

For a moment both of them stare at one another, and the singed fork of lightning in their tent flap. Then Zevran starts giggling again, despite himself, and Alistair’s lips curl into a smile, and then both of them are laughing, loudly, helplessly - and then their tent is on fire.

Neither Alistair nor Zevran regrets it in the morning.

[iamtrebleclefstories]

help, ‘cause I need saving - part two

six times Jo and Alex saved each other from horrible dates and the one time they didn’t

a two-shot fic taking place in a Season 9 alternate universe

if you haven’t read part one, you can read it here => six times

"You look mopey-er than normal," Cristina commented as she walked into the house. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing," Alex frowned and took a swig of his beer.

"Where's the hairball? I normally would've seen her by now but I haven't seen her in the past few days," Cristina watched as Alex sat on the couch in silence. "So that's what's got you all depressed. What happened? Did she realize that you're a jerk and stop hanging out with you?"

"I kissed her."

"What?" Cristina raised her eyebrows.

"I kissed her," Alex repeated. "Or maybe she kissed me. I don't know. All I know is that she has been avoiding me for the past five days since it happened."

“Crap,” Cristina sat down on the couch next to him. “Well, was it bad?”

“No it wasn’t bad,” Alex shook his head. “At least, not for me it wasn’t. I—I’m just… such an idiot. I love her.”

Cristina stared at him in mild shock that he had actually said the words, “Woah.”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t want me. If she did, she would’ve realized that I was trying to ask her to go out with me for drinks that night she decided to go out with that douche Peckwell.”

“Wow, you really are an idiot,” Alex glared as Cristina rolled her eyes. “You two are drinking buddies, friends, joined at the hip. All you ever do together is drink beer and hang out. Of course she’s not going to realize that you were asking her to go on a date with you. It’s what you always do together anyway. You may not realize it, but you’ve been unofficially dating each other for the past few months without knowing it.”

“Well it doesn’t really matter now. Whatever we had going on is over,” Alex huffed in frustration. “I always screw myself out of everything good.”

“How are you going to know it’s over if you haven’t even talked to her about it, dumbass?” Cristina swatted him on the side of his head. “Put on your big girl panties and just talk to her.”

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I’m her boss,” Alex made a weak excuse.

“That’s a load of crap and you know it,” Cristina sighed. “Whatever, you can wallow in your pit of sorrow by yourself. I’m going to get ready because Owen’s coming over.”

+++

He should’ve known that things wouldn’t end there. Cristina was persistent, and although she claimed not to care, she was deeply invested in her friends’ lives and did her best to help them when she could. It was a side of Yang that very few people rarely got to see and being one of her oldest friends, Alex was one of them. And since he was one of her oldest friends, Cristina had also enlisted Meredith for help.

“Come on, don’t be like that. It’s a date, at a nice restaurant with great booze. It won’t be the end of the world if you go,” Cristina brought up the subject as they were getting ready for rounds a few days later.

“Look, I get what you’re trying to do here, but I’m just not ready for that. I don’t want to go on a date with somebody else,” Alex shrugged his arms through his white coat. "And this time I won't have anyone to get me out of it when it inevitably goes bad."

"I'll get you out of it," Cristina offered. "Yeah, I'll have my phone with me and fake page you for an emergency if it goes horribly."

"Really?" Alex raised his eyebrow. "You actually are trying to help me? You're not trying to embarass me or anything like that?"

"Now that would just be cruel. I wouldn't kick you while you're down," she rolled her eyes. "Just go on the damn date. I promise, I think you'll enjoy it."

"Fine," Alex huffed in annoyance. "I'll go. But if I hate it,You owe me the money I spent on the date."

"Yeah, yeah," Cristina waved her hand as she walked away. Cristina rounded the corner and ran into the person she'd been looking for.

"Dr.Yang!"

"Edwards," Cristina placed her hands on her hips and looked at the intern expectantly. "Well, did you do it?"

"Yup," Stephanie nodded enthusiastically. " It took some time to convince her because she is still hung up over Karev, but I promised her that I'd save her if her mystery date went horribly."

"I had to do the same thing with Alex," Cristina chuckled. "Okay, I am going to go tell Meredith to make sure that she lets Wilson leave early. And because you spied on your friend and helped me out, you get to scrub in on my aortic valve surgery. Go prep her for surgery now”

“Thank you Dr. Yang!” Stephanie grinned. “I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”

Cristina sighed and made her way to the lounge where Meredith was eating a snack, “Mer!”

“Dammit Cristina, you made me drop my cookie on the floor,” Meredith glared at her friend.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Cristina sat across from her. “You have Wilson on your service today, right?”

“Yeah,” Meredith huffed and ran a hand over her belly.

“Okay so you remember how I talked to you about getting Alex and Wilson together?”

“Mmhmm,” Meredith hummed and continued to eat her snack. “I thought it was a good idea and helped you pick the place for the date. What about it?”

“Well, it’s happening tonight, so I need you to make sure that the hairball makes it there in time,” Cristina reached over to grab a bite out of Meredith’s food only to get her hand slapped away.

“Get your own food,” Meredith grumbled. “But yes, I can do that. Maybe I’ll even let her out early so she can get dressed up.”

“Great, I’m going to go do surgery,” Cristina stood up and made her way towards the door.

“If those two get married and we’re not in the wedding, Alex will never hear the end of it,” Meredith shouted at a snickering Cristina as she walked away.

+++

Jo didn’t want to be there. The last thing she wanted was to be on another meaningless date with some guy she didn’t care about at some restaurant she’d mentioned trying out one day to Alex. When she heard she was on Medusa’s service today, she’d hoped that Grey would pile on the scut so that she’d be forced to cancel. But to her surprise—and disdain—Grey let her leave early. So, she begrudgingly changed out of her scrubs and into the outfit that Stephanie had laid out for her and drove to the restaurant.

Everything within her was screaming to make a run for it and ditch the guy so that Steph would never bother her about finding a date again, but as someone who’d just screwed things up so badly with the one person she’d only ever really wanted to date, Jo decided it may have been best to put the horrendous experience behind her. That was becoming increasingly difficult, however, as the days she’d spent apart from Alex only led to feeling his absence that much stronger.

So despite the overwhelming desire to go home and watch scary movies in her favorite pair of sweatpants, Jo got out the car and walked over to the entrance of the restaurant. She sighed as she told the host that she was looking for a reservation under the name Edwards.

“Ah yes, the Edwards-Yang table. Right this way,” the hostess smiled at Jo. “Your date is already here. He’s really handsome and seemed nice enough. I hope it goes well.”

Jo nodded half distracted as she allowed the young woman to guide her to the table where she’d have to endure another date. Jo stopped suddenly, not noticing that the hostess had paused and was pointing to a table with a man seated with his back towards them.

“That’s him. Good luck!” The hostess chirped and turned around to leave them alone.

Taking a deep breath, Jo readied herself and walked up to the table. She moved to stand in front of the man who she was supposed to be courting that evening and gasped, “Alex?”

“Jo?”

Jo gaped at him for a few moments, “You—what are you doing here?”

“Yang set it up, she said she was setting me up on a date tonight,” Alex answered quietly, still unsure of what was going on. “She told me I needed to get over—never mind. What are you doing here?”

“Stephanie told me the same thing,” Jo stared at him curiously. “Oh my God. We’ve been set up. They set us up.”=”

Alex snorted a laugh, “You’re kidding right? This is Yang we’re talking about. She doesn’t do things like these. She doesn’t care enough.”

“Well she obviously does or we both wouldn’t be here,” Jo looked at the empty seat across from Alex in question. “Why else would Grey let me out early instead of keeping me there to monitor her post ops?”

“You can sit down you know,” Alex motioned to the chair. His lips curved up into a slight grin. “I won’t bite.”

Jo rolled her eyes and sat down quietly. The pair stared at each other awkwardly for a moment, fidgeting nervously as neither one of them knew what to say. It was never like this when they were together. Ever since they first started hanging out, there had been an immediate sense of comfortability. They had never needed to feel nervous or afraid when around each other because they just worked. That’s what was making the recent shift in their relationship so difficult. The kiss they’d shared brought up a whole slew of emotions that neither of them really knew how to handle.

Maybe that’s why when they decided to break the tense silence, both of them stumbled on their words.

“So, how was work?” “I haven’t seen you around in a bit.”

“Sorry,” Jo let out a breathy laugh and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

“No, it’s okay. You first,” Alex shook his head and motioned for Jo to continue.

“I, uh… ha,” Jo bounced her leg as she tried to shake the nerves off. “I said, how’s work?”

“Oh it’s uh, it’s good,” Alex shrugged awkwardly. “I got to operate on Hannah Gordon today. I got to remove her colostomy bag.”

“Really? That’s the little girl who was in the accident at school, right? You finally got to operate? That’s fantastic. I wish I could’ve been there to see the look on her face when you told her that she no longer needs a poop bag anymore,” Jo smiled.

“Yeah, she had the biggest grin on her face when I told her that the crap bag was gone and she could go back to school and do gymnastics again in a few months,” Alex mirrored Jo’s grin.

“You see, that’s what I love about peds. There’s a special connection and follow-through that you get with peds patients than you do with adults,” Jo sighed.

“Well, you are always welcome on my service. I know that you have to go through all the specialties, but if you feel like peds is something you might want to do one day, then I’d be more than happy to take you under my wing,” Alex smiled at her softly. “I can be your Robbins.”

“My Robbins, huh?” Jo hummed. “We’ll see. I might have to take you up on that eventually.”

Those comments seemed to have done it, because once Jo and Alex started talking, everything seemed right in the world again. They both relaxed and joked around with each other, making the dinner date that they had both been dreading, enjoyable. The hadn’t noticed how long they’d been in the restaurant talking when they realized that the staff had begun cleaning up all around them.

“Oh wow, it’s ten o’clock already?” Alex wondered out loud as he looked down at his watch.

“For real?” Jo raised an eyebrow and looked over to glance at the time. “Have we been here that long?”

“I guess we have,” Alex chuckled. “I’m surprised they haven’t kicked us out yet.”

“It might be because we haven’t paid yet,” Jo pointed at the check on the edge of the table, waiting for payment.

“Yeah, that might be why,” Alex reached over and grabbed the receipt, stopping Jo’s protest. “I’ve got it. Don’t worry about it.”

“Alex-”

“Dude, chill. It’s not that big of a deal. Besides you’re an intern and you barely make any money. Consider it a gift,” Alex pulled some cash out of his wallet and deposited it on the table and stood up. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

“I had fun tonight,” Alex’s mouth curved into a crooked half-smile. “It was the first date I’ve been on in a long time where I didn’t need to fake an excuse to get out of it.”

Jo laughed lightly, “Same here.”

“So are we gonna talk about it?” Alex asked as they neared the car.

“Talk about what?” Jo shrugged innocently, sighing when she unimpressed look on Alex’s face. “We kissed.”

“We did,” Alex nodded quietly. “Why did you do it? You could’ve come up with plenty of other things to do so that I could help you get away from Peckwell, or whatever the hell his name is. Why did you kiss me?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do know,” Alex buried his hands in his pockets and leaned against her car. “But you’re too afraid to say it.”

“I kissed you because I wanted to,” Jo confessed as she looked down at the ground beneath her. “I still want to, if I’m being completely honest.” Jo looked up at him, heart hammering in her chest as she said the words she’d been wanting to say for so long, “These past few months I’ve been on horrible dates. We’ve each been on horrible dates. And every single time we needed rescuing because for some reason they didn’t work out. So, I spent time thinking back to all those dates and trying to figure out why they went badly and I think I figured it out. I could on a hundred dates with a hundred really nice guys, but I will always need rescuing. They would always go badly and I’d need saving because those guys aren’t you. But with you… I never need saving with you. Because with you, I’m already safe.”

Alex stared at her in wonder. He was quite honestly, speechless. That’s what she did to him. Jo rendered him completely and utterly speechless. He realized he’d been quiet for too long when Jo started rambling nervously about how she should’ve never said anything.

Alex placed his hands gently on her face to bring her attention to him. He looked back and forth between her eyes and her mouth. Leaning in slowly, Alex pressed his lips against hers, bringing her into a sweet kiss.

When they parted, Jo breathed in and out deeply, seemingly in shock of what had just happened. Seeing her dumbstruck expression, Alex chuckled slightly. She really had no idea how he felt about her. Deciding to take a chance, he opened his mouth and said the thing that had been threatening to spill out of his mouth for a few months now.

“Jo, I love you.”

“What?” Jo’s eyes widened at his confession.

“I love you,” Alex repeated, a large smile on his face. “I love you.”

“You love me?” Jo asked shakily. “It’s not all in my head? You’re actually saying those words to me? And you mean them?”

“Mmhmm,” Alex grinned brightly. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for a while now and I want to be with you.”

“Oh,” Jo’s mouth froze in that shape. “Woah.”

Alex leaned in for another kiss, “God I could do this forever.”

“I can think of some other things we could do if we get out of here,” Jo whispered lowly, causing Alex’s eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. “I don’t normally make a habit out of sleeping with guys on the first date, but I think I can make an exception for you.”

“As amazing as that sounds, I think I’m gonna make you wait,” Alex took a step away from Jo.

“You’re gonna make me wait? You. Alex Karev. Are going to make me wait for sex?” Jo’s face displayed her disbelief.

“I am,” a shit-eating grin made its way onto his face.

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope,” Alex’s smile increased tenfold.

“Are you seriously going to make me beg?” Jo narrowed her eyes. “Because I will beg. I have no shame in begging you to take me right here in the parking lot.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Alex groaned. His eyes softened after a moment. “Look, I know I have a… reputation, but I always jumped head first into sex with everyone. You’re not just anyone. You’re Jo and for the first time in my life, I want to do things differently. So, let me take you out a couple more times before you let me in your pants.”

“Well when you put it like that, it makes you sound all sweet and sappy, and me sound like a slut because I want to jump into bed with you,” Jo laughed and let out a breath. “I’ve never had anyone who wanted me for more than my body or that wanted things to be special.”

“I know,” Alex answered simply. “Which is why I am gonna make you wait. I want you, Jo. I love you. And I’m gonna show you that you mean something to me. More than just your body, which let me say…” Alex paused and gave her a once over as he allowed his hand to wander down her spine, causing her to shiver. “Is pretty incredible.”

Jo chuckled softly and kissed him, “Well, whenever you’re ready, it’s all yours.”

“Ugh,” Alex laid his head on her shoulder. “Okay, you need to go home before I pull you into the backseat.”

Jo laughed, “Alright, I’m going.” She unlocked her car and sat down in the driver’s seat, glancing up at Alex to give him a bright smile. “Goodnight.”

Alex’s face softened, “Goodnight.”

[flying-elliska]

I am reading about avoidant personality disorder and it rings a lot of bells (lol still on the diagnosis merry go round...my therapist asked me questions about avoidance last time I wonder if it will come up) and so now I found a pdf of this book about it

It has a lot of interesting insights but also oh my god its perspective on love and life in general is so antiquated and regressive (bisexuality and asexuality are described as a mental illness symptom I am not even kidding ; there is this idea that friendships that are as important as romantic relationships are somehow unhealthy ; and a general attitude that having a romantic relationship is the end all be all of life. Yikes) I mean the fact that it quotes Freud is a massive red flag already but yeah. And then I was like oh this book was probably published in the 90s, things must have evolved since then and then I looked at the publication date and BITCH 2010???? Jeeeesus.

I mean there were a lot of interesting things I wrote down to look into. But to me this illustrates one of the core problems of modern psychiatry/psychology which is its lack of social and political awareness. Opposition to mainstream behaviors/culture is pathologized even when a particular cultural norm is deeply oppressive and questionable. It also overlooks the fact that many symptoms probably come from, at least partly, the unhealthy demands that modern society puts on individuals.

The thing is, it's often a delicate balance of several things. I have seen attitudes in political/activist circles, especially online, that seemed very unsound for people's mental health. Myself, I have engaged with those things in ways that were bad for my mental health and put me in a passive mindset, a place of "well this is society's fault and I can't do anything about it and getting better isn't even desirable/politically acceptable." I have seen a lot of people drag each other down and not being willing to look at their own shit and putting their personal unresolved baggage into their politics (especially online).

But that doesn't mean that having a social consciousness is always an excuse to avoid responsibility for your own behavior/mental state. I wish there were more books that tangled with mental illness from a more social, community oriented, politically aware place. Because as a poli sci/social science student a lot of the time I have this pervasive malaise in therapy that I am being sold a bunch of convenient bullshit to make me fit better into the productive soulless capitalist employee box. Which is not always the case ! A lot of stuff out there can be deeply healing and transformative. But the blind spot makes me uncomfortable and that's just not something I can kid myself on.

So yes I think a path towards that would be more recognition that the notion of health needs to be adaptive and that often, having a sense of generative political imagination, to being able to imagine new standards of living and thriving beyond the constraints we are given, can be a key part of mental healing. I also want more of a focus on resilience ; instead of being told that the bad things in the world are in my head and I should just try to ignore them harder, I want to have ressources on things like climate grief, minority stress, moral scrupulosity problems, and how to handle the trauma of being neuroatypical in this world. I want more stuff on how to foster community in your life, and combat capitalistic alienation, not assuming that a monogamous romantic relationship needs to be at the center of your life and fix all your worries. I want ressources on how to overcome shame so you can become an advocate for yourself and others. I want discussions of the "good patient role" that is often imposed and that can feel so dehumanizing. I want stuff that recognizes the world can be incredibly shit and traumatic especially when you're marginalized in a certain way, that it's not just "in your head" and that healing yourself will not magically solve everything - and that even if it will help, and it's very important to work against apathy and powerlessness, you also need solidarity and action.

To start with, I am going to try and bring up my political worries more in my next round of therapy. I often convinced myself to sideline it, to not be seen as some embarassing snowflake that cared too much or a pretentious nerd or whatever (lol self esteem issues hello), but the truth is, engaging in politics in a mentally healthy way is a key challenge for me. And I want to have a forthright conversation without letting myself be convinced to just try denial. I want to give myself a path towards healing that is embedded in the world instead of being purely individualistic.

And if my problem is avoidance, I'd say that's relevant as hell.

[littlemessyjessi]

And another thing! Where is the representation of my melanin queens on every day things?! I’m just really upset about alot of fanfiction right now.  Like, I don’t get it.  I’m using every fucking piece of information that I have gathered from my godmother, an indescribably beautiful melanin goddess, over the years and I’m using it in fucking fanfiction because it’s fucking important.  For example:

My godmother, Dana, is a STUNNING black woman.  She was there for me when my birth mother would straight up drop me on her doorstep and I would see her for months. 

Dana, the queen that she is, is a beacon of light and information. 

I had an interesting childhood.  

I’m a mixture of a lot ethnicities to be honest and I spent my childhood back and forth between two countries if you want to know the truth about it.   But when I was in the USA, I was supposed to spend time with her which lasted for all of about two weeks full of abuse.  Looking back, honestly being with Dana is probably what saved me. 

Anyway, personally I’m a red head but my curl pattern is somewhere between 4B and 4C.  Naturally, it has a tendency to be frizzy and is heavy on the dry side.  I have my mother’s hair. 

Dana knew this, as she grew up with my mother and actually has a very similiar hair texture. It’s just that her’s is dark. So she knew exactly how to handle me when my mother jumped ship. 

And my dad didn’t know how to do that.  He’s Serbian and white. Not to mention the fact that he worked all the time over the road trying to provide for his four children. He wasn’t around much but it wasn’t because he didn’t want to be.  It’s just that someone had to provide for us and that was him.  Side note:  All of have different mothers and they’re all crazy.   I think he has a type.  He didn’t turn them crazy.  No, no. They were like that when he met them.  I just think he’s a glutton for punishment. 

Anyway, the hair. That was a foreign language to him.  I mean, he tried but he was hopeless until Dana legit showed him. 

This fucking angel introduce me to the bonnet when I was four. Four.  To this day, I refused to go to bed without a bonnet.  

She also introduced me to protective hair styles and the concept of a damn headwrap.  Which is fucking life changing mind you.  My cuban fiance, Valentina, bonded over this when we first started talking because she video calls me one morning to talk to me while we were getting ready for our respective days. 

Of course, I answer.  Still in my pjs, bonnet on my head and slathering myself in shea butter.  Again, thank you Dana for your life changing knowledge of shea butter and cocoa butter.  I attribute my good skin to you, love. I’m in my late twenties now and honestly I don’t really look any different as to what I did when I was eighteen.  Perhaps, it’s genes.  But I think it was Dana and her knowledge. 

Anyway, we’re sitting there talking and all of a sudden Val just has the biggest smile on her face and I’m like, what?

And she was just like, “I love that you have your bonnet on.” 

And I was like, “Uh, ok? Should I not?” 

And we got into a whole discussion about it and how it’s viewed.   

Listen, if I am deep conditioning my hair I will walk straight out this house with a bonnet on and not give a single fuck.  You think I’m playing but I am not.  And that’s my point.   I don’t know why things like this are looked at differently and I’m sick of it.   

What’s even more disgusting is that I would get less looks for it than a black woman.  Why?  Because regardless of the fact that I actually came out of an extremely deeply darkly skinned woman, I pass as white. 

That god damn statement enrages me to my core.  The fact that I, someone who passes as white, can do basic things like wear a bonnet or a headwrap and while I may recieve some strange looks here and there..... it’s really nothing. 

Whereas a woman of dark complexion has a totally different experience.  And that enrages me.   I used to lose my temper over it when I was about 10 or so and Dana would take me to the movies on Sundays.  That was always deep conditioning day and so we went in our bonnets.  And these mother fucking girls would snicker and point and act like fools.  I, all 4′11′’ of me, nearly got into a fight with them b/c I have a short fuse on a big bomb.  But Dana just pulled me back and told me not to worry about it.  But I was upset.  Dana is literally one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, inside and out.  And I couldn’t understand how someone could be so nasty.   We had a talk that day about skin and why it was different.   I mean, I knew Dana and I have different colors to us but I never thought much about it to be honest.  

She was very honest with me in her experiences and she told me that we were different and even though that shouldn’t make a difference at all, for some people it did. 

Cue tiny preteen Kenny going on a fifteen minute rant until she gave me pineapple and tajin and told me to chill out, lol. 

Also, if you’re not putting tajin on your pineapple, what are you doing?  You’re missing out and I highly reccommend you see to it immediately. 

She told me the best thing to do was to ignore them and to just live my life.  And I see her point but I also don’t.  Because if you always look the other way then nothing changes b/c it just keeps getting swept under the rug.   

Dana is a lot nicer than me.  And perhaps, she’s smarter b/c she’s older and she just knows more than me.  But I will not stand for this! 

I realize how ridiculous that may sound but I don’t care.  I will call someone out on it in a heartbeat. 

I just get heated about things I feel strongly about. 

So all this to say that I was listening to this video where a girl was talking about how upset she was about the lack of representation in fanfiction and I was just consumed with anger b/c she’s right! 

And I was just so pissed. Poor Val listened to me rant forever before she just called Dana and was like, ‘Please calm down your child.” 

Because yes, as far as I’m concerned, Dana is my mother.  Not my birth mother. 

And, lol, Dana told her, “Just give that little hot cheeto some pineapple and tajin. Or make her some kool aid.  She’s just gotta rant for a minute and get it out of her system.” 

And Val said, “I tried to give her kool aid.  She spazzed out and drank half a pitcher.  Now she’s on a sugar high and she’s worse.” 

I’m assuming Dana told her to just hand over the phone and she promptly told me to calm down before she came over to deliver an ass whoopin.  

And then she asked me what was wrong and so I told her. 

And so she said, “Just write the fanfiction how you want it.   That’s what you’ve always done. So if you want to see mentions of bonnets in stories, start putting them in.   Make it a point to create scenes that specifically give you an opportunity to showcase some of that stuff.  Talk about the struggles of finding a foundation that actually matches your skin tone.  Talk about wash days and co washes.  And for the love of the all mighty, please mention to someone to put some damn lotion on their elbows and knees.  I’m tired of seeing these ashy ass people.” 

And we talked for quite some time about it and she made me feel better.  Like she always does.  I didn’t come out of her but Dana has always been my mother.  And always been there for me.  Always given me the best advice.   Always knew just what to say when my emotions wreck me. 

So I know a lot of you like my reader content and I’ll continue to do that. I promise.  I mostly just do plus size reader. But maybe we’ll include some specific POC plus size reader.  I mean, that’s not new for me.  I’ve done that before but you get my point.  The only way to get passed some of these irritations and unfairness is to normalize it to the point of common knowledge. 

And you might be seeing more and more POC OC’s from me.  This isn’t new either as I’ve got plenty of them.  But you might see an influx lol.  Because I’m upset about it and b/c it’s deserved.  You know what I mean?  

Also, for the love of god, please please please if you are writing reader insert when you are talking about someone blushing... jesus christ, Dana could be embarassed and you’d never know b/c she is literally as dark as a dark chocolate bar.   Blush doesn’t show on her skin tone and I can imagine it doesn’t show on a lot of deeper skin tones.  It doesn’t on Valentina and she’s cuban caramel candy.  

There are other ways.  Like heat creeping up the neck or whatever.  You know what I mean.  

Also, the ‘he ran his fingers through my hair’ bit?  Ugh.  First of all, with my hair.... I’d like to see them try.  Second, don’t. touch. my. hair.  

Just saying.  There are other ways.

Anyway, thanks for listening. 

And Dana, if you’re reading, cause I know you come read my stories sometimes- thank you for listening and giving me good advice.  As you always have.  I love you and I’m just really thankful you’ve always been there for me and taught me so much.  I love you, Mama D.

Love, 

Kenny

Also, ya’ll pray for me.  I have a whole pitcher of kool aid, that I made so it has way too much sugar in it.  And if I can’t calm myself down, Valentina may murder me.  And ya girl is trying to get some tonight, lol. 

P.S. If she does away with me and you never find my body, someone just tell Idris Elba, Queen Latifah, Sebastian Stan and Aaron Taylor Johnson that I love them and that I died well.  

Probably not though.  

Valentina is mean.  She’d make me die a slow and horrible death. 

Like depravation of cuddles and chocolate. 

The horror. 

Shit, I like her feisty though. 

Anyway, I’m rambling. 

I love y’all and that’s really all I had to say about the issue lol. 

[activechataclysme]

TITLE: tell me you love me, pls ( i beg u )

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Ship: The Love Square - Mainly Adrinette and Marichat Rating: T [ AO3 ]

Summary:

Adrien’s patience was hanging by a thread. Wearing thin, rapidly dissipating, dissolving, the way his father claimed teeth dissolved in aerated drinks, take your pick. In that moment, he felt like Tantalus, hungry, the fruit within his reach but just barely . So. Close.

He loved the girl, he really did, and though he did his absolute best to soften her nerves as he looked at her with what he hoped was a hopeful smile, he suspected that he wasn’t able to cut through her panic induced haze. He watched her stutter a little before she let her head fall on her desk with a wince-worthy thump, before she asked for his physics homework going off their (very, very well-rehearsed) script again . All he wanted to do was take her by the shoulders and shake her while screaming,

“ Tell me you love me, I beg you. I can’t stand waiting around this way!”

And then maybe kiss the hell out of her.

Hell, he wanted to kiss the hell out of her right now , but he couldn’t because there was The Bet ™ that he now felt, in hindsight, was stupid. Not that he would ever admit that to Plagg or to his Princess, of course.

Really, he wished she would hurry up with her confession before he combusted on the spot and did something uncharacteristically un- gentlemanly, like drag her off to the nearest empty closet and kiss her senseless. He was sure she wouldn’t mind, what with her accidentally telling Chat Noir her fantasy of being pinned against the wall while being made out with, but still . He couldn’t just do that .

Or could he?

Well, he could.  

But he mustn’t.  

Suppressing a frustrated groan, he looked over his shoulder at the love of his life as she opened her French Literature notebook with a miserable frown. He really was not looking forward to another torturous practice session that evening. He sighed softly to himself, determined to find out what went wrong this time.

-o-

“... And he was just…. SMILING at me,” groaned Marinette as she shoved her face into her pillow with a groan.

Chat looked at her blankly. “And that is a problem, because …?”

“He looked so cute ,” she wailed. “It’s not fair, my brain shortcircuits. Can you believe my stutter came back !? After almost three years of being friends with him!? I was mortified. ”

Chat couldn’t help the warmth that flooded his cheeks. “You couldn’t ask him out because he was too cute ?”

“Yeah, go ahead, laugh at me,” she pouted petulantly.

He smiled at her softly instead. “No, I think that’s quite… Sweet.”

Marinette scrunched her nose at him. “You weren’t there. It was my Top 10 Embarassing Marinette Moments.”

Chuckling, Chat pat her side to have her make room for him before sliding in next to her in the space she had created.

“So how was your day? How’d it go with your girl?”

My girl. Adrien liked the sound of that.

“I really, really wanted to ask her out today.”

“Did you?” Marinette asked, with a sly gleam to her eyes.

“ No ,” said Chat petulantly. “I’ll have you know that this gentlecat is very patient with the leading ladies of his life.”

“I bet Ladybug would beg to differ,” she replied mischievously.

“ Hey , I was a kitten then with a stupid crush!” Chat replied indignantly with a pout. “I did not know better.” Marinette chuckled quietly, patting his head.

“ Marinette, please ask your boy out so I can ask her out!” whined Chat.

“Careful, Chat,” sang Marinette. “Your impatience is showing.”

Chat groaned. This really was a bad idea. It was bad enough that what he considered a triumphant statement - I will ask out the girl I’m in love with, if you confess your feelings to the boy that you love. He was yet to figure out why that in itself was a good idea, but he just had to let himself be goaded into placing a bet on his patience.  

“I don’t think you have the patience to wait that long, kitty ,” she had said back then.

“ Bet?” he had challenged, like an utter fool, because she was right , he did, in fact, not have the patience to wait that long. It’d been two weeks already.

“You don’t understand,” insisted Chat. “She- She sits behind me. I can feel her gaze on me, you know? It makes me want to turn around, lean over her table and kiss her.”

“You think, I have it easy?” Marinette demanded. “I can’t concentrate in class because he sits right in front of me. And my fingers itch to reach out to touch his hair and-”

“You should,” said Chat immediately, before coughing and continuing, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind if the girl behind me did that to me, so.”

“Yeah, that’s because you’re in love with her,” said Marinette rolling her eyes.

“Why do you still think Adrien Agreste is not in love with you!” exclaimed Chat.

Marinette worried her lower lip. “Chat, we’ve known each other for four years now, if he had any interest, he would’ve said something by now, right?”

Chat sighed. “Princess, we’ve been over this. You feel so much, but you haven’t said anything either, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s because he’s been clear on how I’m “just a very good friend”, you know!” Marinette said defensively, making Chat wince.

“Well, um, I friendzoned my classmate too, you know,” said Chat quietly. “I don’t know when I started to fall in love with her but I only realised two years ago and well, I tried everything in my power to get closer to her...”

He avoided tacking on During a road trip over the summer, when I had to watch another guy get really close to you, and I was scared out of my mind that you two would start dating because I know how in love with you Luka was, and I was torn between relief for me and concern for you when it didn’t work out and I still don't know what really happened because that would be one coincidence too many, he supposed.

“I… Did not know that,” said Marinette, clearing the bangs out of his eyes. “Why did you wait so long to ask her out, then?”

Chat gave her a wistful smile. “I was too afraid to ruin my friendship with her. She means the world to me, you know. She doesn't even realize how many times she's made my day brighter just by smiling at me."

He paused, before taking in a deep breath. "And well, about 6 months ago I found out that she used to be in love with me but had tried to give up on me..."

"Oh, Chat, I'm sorry," said Marinette, shifting closer to him. "Are you sure, though? Maybe it's not too late?"

"She, er, told me, actually," he said, not liking the dangerous turn the conversation had taken.

"She told you!? That's... Mean!" pouted Marinette.

"Oh, um, not to, um, civilian me," Chat admitted, a hand going up to rub the back of his neck to ease his nerves. "She told Chat Noir me."

Marinette blinked. "What? Really? Why did she-"

Chat chuckled and put a finger against her lips. "What're you, Alya Césaire? You know I can't answer all that without giving away my secret identity."

"Right," Marinette muttered, looking a little thoughtful.

"Anyways," said Chat loudly. "Apparently, she'd been in love with me since we met. Almost four years ago now. And-

“Wow, and you’d been friendzoning her all this while?” snorted Marinette. “I know exactly how she feels.”

“I’ll bet,” muttered Chat. “Your Adrien is as much an idiot as I am.”

“Hey, enough badmouthing Adrien and my kitty,” said Marinette sternly, wagging her finger in her face. “It’s not the end of the world you know."

Chat perked up. "Yes! I found out a month ago from um, mysterious sources that cannot be disclosed, that she did not succeed in getting over me!"

"And you say you have all the bad luck in the world!" Marinette beamed. Now’s your chance, ask her out.”

Chat scrunched his nose. “I can’t because of your stupid bet.”

Marinette cackled. “It was not my idea”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to take me up on it, you know I say stupid shit all the time!” whined Chat.

“Sorry, kitty, you’re just so fun to tease.”

“ Marinette-!”

“Okay, okay,” she laughed. “I’ll try to do this, but only for you.”

“ Only for me, sure, sure,” said Chat sarcastically. “Not because you want to be able to get your Adrien by the collar and-”

She smacked him with a pillow. “Will you help me or no !”

Oh boy.

“S-Sure.”

They both sat up in her bed and Marinette schooled her expression into a serious one. “Adrien…”

Chat gulped. “Y-Yeah, Marinette?”

“I know this may seem strange and sudden-”

“It is not strange,” interrupted Chat.

“ Fine, ” huffed Marinette. “Adrien, I know this may seem sudden but there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time.”

She inhaled deeply.

“I’ve been in love with you since you gave me that umbrella, and I know it’s been a long time since then, and I don’t expect you to return my feelings but I just needed you to know that I love you.”

Chat’s breath hitched. “I-I love you too, Mari.”

“You say that everytime .” Marinette laughed breathily. ”You need to also prepare me for the worst case scenario, you know.”

“No need,” said Chat, his voice cracking a little. “I’m pretty sure he won’t say no to you.”

“You have too much faith in me, Chat,” sighed Marinette, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“You deserve every ounce of it,” he shrugged, hesitating only briefly before putting his arm around her.

“I’ll try to make you proud,” she giggled weakly. “I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

-o-

She didn’t.

Points for trying though, because clearly she’d asked him to come over for a round of UMS III to finally (finally!) tell him, but she didn’t ask just him, much to his chagrin. At least, he was sure she meant to, but Nino had invited himself, determined to beat the both of them at the game, and he wondered if he imagined the sly grin on Alya’s face.

“Sorry, sunshine,” she mouthed with a shrug, as Nino gushed to Marinette about having pastries while playing the game.

Well, subtlety has never been his strong suit.

Adrien wouldn’t deny that Marinette wasn’t cute when she got all nervous and blushy, but there was so much at stake, damn it.

He could still hope though, he supposed. Maybe Nino and Alya would leave early?

They did, which pleased Adrien, as he pretended to ignore the knowing smirks on his friends’ faces as they left.

And at one point, his heart was beating out of his chest when Marinette beckoned him to sit next to him, took his hands apprehensively in hers, said his name and then, he felt her breathing start to quicken.

This is it.

“I know this may seem strange and sudden,” she started, swallowing thickly. “But I… I- I mean , just sudden, not- not strange. Nope,” she laughed nervously.

Oh, Marinette...

He squeezed her hands gently, wondering if she could hear his thumping heart as he tried not to laugh and take her into his arms.

“Anyways, so, um,” continued Marinette. “The sudden… Thing . Um. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time that um… Umbrella…”

“Umbrella?” prompted Adrien, trying to hold in his squeal of excitement. It is happening.

“Yeah, um, your umbrella,” continued Marinette, worrying her lower lip as she looked at him anxiously.

“My umbrella?” asked Adrien, pretending to be confused.

“The one you, um, lent to me?” said Marinette, “On your first day of school when I was… You know, being a bitch to you but then you were so nice to me even though I didn’t deserve it, and oh my gosh I was so mean , I’m so sorry about that Adrien! I cannot believe I-”

Digression! Digression! He thought, with alarm as Marinette deflated further and further as her ramblings turned a little incoherent.

“-It’s just that Chloe was such a Chloe back then, and I thought-”

“ Marinette !” he cut her off with a chuckle in his voice, tugging at her hands gently. She snapped out of him and blinked at him as if just realising he was here. “You were saying… Something about my umbrella?”

“What?” she asked, before shaking her head. “ Right. Umbrella. Um… I… I still have it.”

“Why?” he asked, quietly, scooting just a little closer to her.

Her eyes widened in panic, as her gaze darted around her room before finally landing on her closet. “Um… Um…. UM……. I- I just…. Wait a second!” And then she was ripping her hands out of his grip and running towards the closet where he knew she kept that umbrella.

This… This was not part of the plan.

Now he was in the dark , because he didn’t know what his Princess was thinking!

In seconds, she was back in front of him, the umbrella thrust out as she pushed it into his hands.

“I, um, just thought it was about time I returned it,” she said, almost hysterically.

Adrien stilled. “Is… Is that what you wanted to tell me? That you kept my umbrella all this time?”

Marinette nodded once, rocking on her feet as Adrien stood up as well. “Really, Marinette?” he asked, leaning in a little closer. She was right there. He could smell the vanilla and toffee off of her! He could, literally , kiss her right now.

To her credit, she didn’t flinch or move back. She did lie though - Of course, Adrien! Three years is a long time to be keeping an umbrella that is not mine, hahahahahah - not recognising Adrien’s attempt at giving her a chance to backtrack and go back to the script , for what it was.

He wondered if he should just go, To Hell With The Bet , and never admit that to Marinette; she’d made that bet with Chat and not Adrien after all. But then again, if all went to plan, Marinette would eventually know Adrien was Chat and then she would know that he lied, and she hated liars but then again, she was lying right now and not telling him she was in love with him and making this hard for everyone involved.

OH, GODS. The moral dilemma of it all.

He locked his fingers with her very loosely.

“Thanks, Mari,” he said, looking down at her as she still stared at him wide-eyed, with her bright baby blues. “For keeping it safe. And in such great condition.”

“N-No problem,” she said breathily, still when he tucked a strand of hair behind her hair. “A-Anything fo-for my good friend.”

Adrien startled at that, blinking at her as she let out a soft groan and deflated completely, and despite the amused hysteria seeping into him, he couldn’t help but hug her as her forehead came to a rest on his chest.

He thought he heard a muffled, “I’m such an idiot.”

He chuckled and hugged her tighter. “Oh, Marinette. You’re so cute.”

-o-

"He called me cute!" pouted Marinette. "How was I supposed to function after that!"

"What a funny coincidence, I called my girl cute today too!" Chat grinned. He didn't even try to tame the smug look in his eyes as Marinette spun in her chair, eyes on the ceiling, a dreamy smile on her face. "And the blush on her face was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. And honestly, if you could just hurry up, I'd like the chance to kiss my girl, please."

Marinette snorted. "Concede the bet, and you can."

"Never,"  he retorted, regretting it immediately.

-o-

Over the next week, Adrien had the honour of witnessing firsthand the numerous ways Marinette could sabotage herself, while simultaneously giving his patience a really good exercise.

(

“Adrien, do- do you want to go on a walk to the park with me,” she’d asked, picnic basket in hand, as she shifted nervously on her feet. “There’s something I want to tell you.”

“Of course, Marinette!” he’d said, gathering all his composure, as he followed her to the park.  

“Any special reason for this?” he had asked, hoping that would prompt her into saying something.

Well, it did. But not the thing he wanted to hear. “Um, b-because the weather is so great,” she’d laughed nervously, before fumbling with her phone. “I- I should ask Alya and Nino to join us as well!! It would be rude of me otherwise, they’re our friends, right? Right.”

And he’d flopped onto the grass on his back with a groan to glare at the gReAt WeAtHer’s blue skies as she diverted her attention to invite Alya and Nino.

)

And one of the most emotional metaphorical roller-coaster he’d be on...

(

“ God, Adrien I love you!!!” she squealed as he handed her a roll of that fabric she’d gushed to Chat about.

His heart had seized, and the words ‘I love you, too’ were on the tip of his tongue, when she flailed, very reminiscent of his college days, and hurriedly backtracked, “I- I mean, as a good friend. A great friend who got me something I’ve had my eye on for days!!! Yep.”

In his mind, he’d fallen to the floor dramatically on his knees while apologising for calling Marinette his ‘good friend’.  

)

He supposed that was nothing compared to that one night as Chat.

She was frowning at him, kneeling right in front of him as she glared at the tip of his nose.

“I can do this.”

“ Yes , you can. You must, Princess.”

“I will do this, even if it’s so you can ask your girl out.”

“ Yes , you will.”

"We both  deserve love, kitty."

"Yes, we do."

Then, surprising the everloving shit out of him, she took his face in both her hands, each of her hand splayed across his cheeks, thumb softly caressing his cheekbones as she held him. Her blue eyes were burning with seriousness, their faces inches apart. Adrien suspected that in that moment, he had stopped breathing.  

“Adrien,” she said, and the thrill of when she said his name like that, made him shiver in her hands. “I love you, so, so much.”  

And then, she proceeded to kiss the tip of his nose.

Chat Noir had never been so still in his life, except when posing for photos, he supposed. Though Vincent would have his head for the “stiffness”. Adrien could feel the heat on his cheeks, no doubt being felt by Marinette, who was now looking at him anxiously and god , she really needed to stop biting her lower lip like that.  

He tried to say something, he really did. “Guh.”

Marinette withdrew with a groan, her forehead dropping on Chat’s shoulder. “That was too much wasn’t it?”

Just right , if Adrien was being honest. “Guh.”  

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Marinette not paying his stupor much mind, sitting up straight again, waving her hand as if dispelling smoke. “I need a new strategy.”

)

It would’ve been so cute if it wasn’t so frustrating.

He also lost count of how many times he had contemplated just taking her face in his hands and seriously telling her how much he loved her before asking her out on a date himself, because his Princess was apparently courageous about everything except for confessing her feelings.

And hopefully kiss her some.

Sigh.

The kissing. Oh, how he wanted to kiss her.

She didn’t make it easy for him, or for herself it would seem.

It was endearing, all the same.

The resolution of his conundrum took about two more weeks of torturous nights of practicing and days of wanting to combust, but they both got there in the end. It was an uphill task, and involved one (1) iconic black umbrella, some roses and a box of macarons, but they did it.

Adrien decided that those weeks of thin patience, and wanting to combust on the spot were all worth it in the end.

[your--isgayrights]

F, M, S :?

Hiiii stella i really liked your new fic just so you know okay hello :))

Gonna put my answers to these under the cut because they’re really long ^_^; thank you for sending me an ask for this but also dont feel obligated to read my long winded answers aslkfjfdsf

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Hmmmm this question is kind of hard because even though I really see myself as someone who likes writing dialogue more than prose, lately most talking I write is like heavily interlaced with like these character actions that are supposed to be indicative of tone, you know? Also I have a lot of dialogue I like that isn’t technically attached to anything yet... uh...

Okay, I like these lines from A Dream in Which Yoo Jonghyuk Plays Mario Kart:

"Kim Dokja." Yoo Jonghyuk says.

"... You're gonna tell me to shut up, right?" Kim Dokja tries to guess from the vast experience he has of this man. "To not worry so much about useless things? To just be here in the moment..."

He trails off on the word moment. His eyes are suddenly far away, clouded with the memory of a destroyed Seoul skyline.

The hand on his shoulder tightens. Just enough to bring him back.

"Eh?" Kim Dokja's eyes refocus, blinking up at a Yoo Jonghyuk who is looking at him in the eye instead of over his shoulder. "Well?" He asks a man whose broad back is now far too sore in the mornings to carry the weight of the world. "Am I right?"

Yoo Jonghyuk does not answer any of the questions that Kim Dokja has posed with a 'yes,' a 'no,' or even a 'shut up.'

He does, however, give his husband a peck on the lips that lasts for just a moment shorter than a dream and conveys the exact same message.

When he pulls away from this kiss, he meets his husband's eyes once more and says five magical words.

"Watch me win Rainbow Road."

Um the thing I’m most proud of here is that I made Yoo Jonghyuk being a gamer anything approaching “romantic.” The “Watch me win Rainbow Road” line is basically the main thing holding this ficlet together as an actual piece of writing akdjfslfjsf. But like I said, a lot of the emotion in the words comes from the deviance from expectation set up around the dialogue rather than the dialogue itself, so I’m not sure if it counts? Fun anyway!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Hmmm most of my premises I’ve been trying to adapt somehow into my current WIP, like I had this soosang idea that I thought about adapting as some sort of epilogue? It was like about HSY and YSA being childhood friends and the way that HSY wrote passages in her stories differently based on the way she viewed their relationship. But then like... hmm.

I guess Actual premises would include stuff like “AU where Kim Dokja is there when Yoo Jonghyuk regresses,” which I’m always daydreaming about just a little bit because 1. I kind of want to write YJH perspective on KDJ in the early rounds because I think its hilarious how he probably thinks very highly of him actually and thats SO diffferent from how KDJ views how things are happening, and then 2. VERY funny to have KDJ make the choices he makes confidently in timelines where he doesn’t realize YJH knows about him, or like 3. how KDJ would adapt to YJH knowing about him and whether he has back up plans for that.

My only hang up on that premise is that I’m not going to write it because A. It would take WAY too long for me to flesh out that premise in a way that I was happy with because I’m terrible like that and even slice of life relationship stories have to have like 40k long chapters for me to be happy with development. And then B. It’s definitely a premise that’s been used before, and even though I’m usually cool with doing bland premises with my own spin on them, I think that a lot of people already have like... set opinions on what they think this type of au would look like and mine differs a bit and I don’t want to argue with people on the internet, haha.

Anyway since I’m never going to write it, I can tell you that I think that the climax of my AU would probably be all of the KDJs of every timeline some how reviving YJH at the same time across their parallel timelines. It would show the perspectives of KDJs who were briefly mentioned in YJH’s building angst train, even ones where he was an enemy and in fact killed YJH himself, and other ones where he was a deeply trusted comrade, and we would think that the KDJs are doing some part of the scenario until they all do the same thing at once and it’s revealed what the item they were trying to obtain did. It exchanges his own life for that of YJH’s.

YJH in whatever regression he’s in has this moment of being completely saved, where all of these lifetimes where he died peacefully of old age by his companion’s sides come rushing into him, but even though he realizes Kim Dokja is the one responsible, he has no memory of him making it to the end. So he resolves to spend that last lifetime vowing not to die and to save Kim Dokja no matter what when previously he had given into the regressor depression of only trying to save himself.

Also not about fanfic but uh here’s some songs that I daydream orv amvs to sometimes: A Death - An Unkindness, I’m Gonna Win - Rob Cantor, Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths, Squaring up - Sir Chloe.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Ahhh you know I think I’ve said this before that I really like slow burn and long complicated relationships like childhood friends to enemies to friends and or lovers you know, but I’ve been thinking about it recently and realize that I actually do use a lot of fandom-ey tropes! Like it was pointed out to me that my big WIP is very much based on an AU used in other fandoms, and I realize that I really like writing troupes used in fandom in a way that puts my own twist on it,  you know?

Like this is a bit embarassing, but I think the first fics I ever wrote were definitely from me seeing a specific kind of AU being overused in the fandom and wanting to write that AU from what I viewed as like... THE. RIGHT. WAY. to do it asdlkfjsfasfasf. Like the main emotion that actually gets me writing something down is spite alskfjf. Like sorry allos but I don’t understand why they would have kissed there so heres a 50k+ fic where they gaze longingly at each other for a much much longer time okay thanks.