#isn’t it weird that people judge you for talking about bad behavior

[vizthedatum]

Always with the illusion of choice unless they’re love-bombing you.

[bloomeng]

my personal hot take bout izzy conversations is that you can critique his writing and his actions and i’m following but as soon as the word abuser gets thrown into the mix i’m not listening anymore

from my pov it really just sounds like ppl are mad that he threatens the sanctity of their ship which is a dumb reason to dislike a character IN MY PERSONAL OPINION and i’m not even saying that’s the reason why ppl have this opinion just that from my outside perspective it looks like ppl are reaching bc they feel like izzy threatens gb

which is a ridiculous notion considering gb is canon and was never not going to be canon and shipping izzy with either/both of them threatens nothing in canon and it’s literally just normal fandom behavior aka playing in the fanon sandbox.

it’s all so childish. the whole reason the canyon exists is childish (not the ppl who made it that’s really just curating a space online which that’s fine) like didn’t know it was ok to bully ppl who like a fictional character—who, side note, is way less problematic than most controversial characters??— you don’t like simply bc you don’t like him.

if you don’t like izzy hands. cool, i would’ve agreed with you five months ago. you’re free to enjoy gb with the majority of the fandom. shit talking a subgroup of the fandom is like the equivalent of high school mean girl behavior.

and the fact that izzy is the guy they picked to hate is so weird to me. i remember watching s1 and being like oh yah this guy is gonna be popular on the socials. he’s like the blueprint for the pathetic cringe fail moody loser older guy that fandoms eat up like hot cakes. he hasn’t even done anything egregiously wrong; fantasy violence, off screen mentions of killing peoples, saying mean things to the crew bc he was an antagonist. maybe if you were edward teach you could be personally upset that your closest… whatever they are… turned you into the british. when i tell you there are genshin impact villains more diabolical. least when ppl were arguing over hisoka from hxh i understood there were levels of nuance at play. but with izzy it makes me feel insane, like is this ppl’s first day in a fandom?

which tired argument bc liking villains doesn’t mean you condone their actions, but really what has izzy done that’s so unmoral that liking him makes you a bad person… in the eyes of the internet? it can’t be the violence bc that’s a dime a dozen literally it’s implied buttons has killed ppl with his silly teeth and no one hates him. (this is all a rhetorical question) it’s embarrassing to watch ppl make up things about him in order to justify why they hate him. like i’m telling you it’s ok to find him cringe and not like him. there doesn’t need to be a moralistic reason to dislike a character. they’re not real. well i mean in this case i guess he was real but like izzy hands from ofmd isn’t the real man who died hundreds of yrs ago.

which by the way criticism towards izzy’s actions on the show is perfectly fine it’s judging real ppl for liking him that’s the issue.

but as i’ve learned it’s too much to expect media literacy from the internet.

[baileypie-writes]

Hello, me again, the weirdo that keeps requesting Westar

Could I kindly ask for Westar revealing to Human World!reader who he really is and where he's from? 🥺

Have a good one, drink water!

A/N ~ Welcome back! Of course I can! Hope you enjoy!(you’re not weird btw, request all the Westar fics you want!)

~Secret’s Out~

Westar x GN!Human World!Reader

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Fandom: Fresh Precure!

Fanfic Type: Oneshot

Reader: Gender neutral, from Earth

Relationship: Romantic

Genre: Hurt/Comfort?

Rating: PG

Synopsis: Your boyfriend, “Hayato” isn’t good at keeping secrets. So it was only a matter of time before it slipped out that he wasn’t from Earth.

Warnings: Possibly OOC Westar?, lying(Westar), sort of abrupt ending

~Masterlists~

~Fresh Precure! Masterlist~

~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~

A chuckle erupted from your throat when you saw the sight in front of you. Your boyfriend, Hayato, was surrounded by a big group of women, all fawning over him. Many asked for his number, or to go out with them. Some people would get jealous at this, but you thought it was funny and cute how popular he was with the ladies. What was even more funny and cute was his completely unamused face. He hates attention from random, unknown people.

After a few moments, Hayato spotted you, and his face lit up. He wasted no time pushing through the crowd to get to you.

“(name)!” He called happily. You smiled, and waved back. Once he reached you, he gave you a big, bone-crushing hug. You literally heard your back pop.

“Hey sweetie.” You said in a strangled voice. You patted his back to let him know you were struggling to breathe, and he let go. You took notice of the ladies, and how they all walked away in disappointment. Some even gave you a judging look.

“Sorry about them. I just can’t seem to get them to leave me alone!” Hayato said.

“Can you blame them though? You are super attractive, after all!” You said, lightly elbowing him.

He blushed, and cleared his throat. “Well, yeah. But don’t they have any manners?”

You laugh again. “Yeah, guess you’re right.” You took his hand, and began walking away from the scene. “You didn’t tell me you’d be in town today. You hanging out with the girls? I don’t see Shun or Setsuna.” You asked. Hayato and his friends all lived out of town. But they would often visit to hang out with Setsuna’s friends. And of course, Hayato would come to visit you.

“Oh, yeah. They already left to see them. But I wanted to see you.” He smiled.

“Aw, you’re so sweet.” You said. Hayato laughed bashfully.

“Besides, things in Labyrinth can be so much sometimes. So it’s nice to come to a place with much less tech and more color.” He said without thinking.

“Labyrinth? Oh, you mean the city you’re from! Is it really that much different from here?” You asked.

Hayato froze, and slapped a hand over his mouth. You were confused at this reaction. It was almost as if he said something he shouldn’t have.

“It’s not! It’s totally normal!” He tried to fumble something together to steer the conversation away from his hometown.

You raised a brow. “Uh, that’s not what you said earlier? You know, you never talk about your home much, and always change the subject when it’s brought up. I’m curious to what it’s like. I tried Googling it, but I didn’t find anything related to it. What’s up with that?”

Hayato felt a bead of sweat roll down his face. He really screwed up this time. He was always bad at keeping secrets, especially from you. He’s slipped up so many times, from calling his friends by their real names, to talking too much about Labyrinth.

“Hayato? You okay?” You asked, concerned about his unresponsiveness. “Your hand is sweaty and hot. Are you feeling okay?”

That was it. He gave up. He was gonna tell you. “(name) I have to tell you something!” He spat out, a bit too loudly, making few people nearby glanced your way.

“Uh okay. What is it?” You were genuinely weirded out by his behavior.

“Let’s go to your place first!” Not one second after those words left his mouth, he began sprinting in the direction of your house.

He was dragging you behind, and since he was so fast, you were concerned about your arm being ripped off. “Hayato! Slow down.” Without saying anything, he slowed a bit, but continued running.

Eventually, you arrived at your house. Hayato tried opening your door, jiggling the handle aggressively when it didn’t budge.

“It’s locked, Hayato. Lemme get my key.” You said.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He stepped aside. He looked so nervous, it made you begin to seriously worry.

The moment the door was unlocked and opened, he practically jumped inside. You followed, and locked the door behind you. Hayato was already sitting on the couch, fiddling with his thumbs by the time you made it into the living room.

“Hayato, what the heck is going on with you?” You asked, getting frustrated now.

“It’s Westar.” He mumbled out.

“What?”

“My name is Westar.” He said louder. The look he gave you was one of pure guilt.

“What are you talking about?” You were seriously concerned.

“Labyrinth is my home. B-But it’s not on Earth. It’s a different place. That’s where me, Sestuna and Shun are from.” He was sweating profusely, and tripping over his words. He was also being uncharacteristically serious.

“What do you mean ‘not on Earth’? How could you not be from Earth?” You were getting a bit scared, and started backing away.

“Please don’t run away (name)!” He said, jumping out of his seat and reaching out to you. “I wanted to tell you, but I’m not supposed to!”

“Tell me what? Nothing you’re saying is making any sense!” You raised your voice, making Westar flinch.

He sighed sorrowfully. “I’ll try to explain better.” He sat back down.

“There’s this place called Labyrinth. It’s kind of like Earth, and the people there look like humans. But there’s a lot more technology. That’s where I live. My real name is Westar, but I change my name and what I look like to fit in here. Shun and Setsuna are the same.” He explained it all to you. You just stood there, shocked. “But I’m still me! And I still love you! I wanted to tell you, but I’m not really supposed to! I’m probably gonna get in a lot of trouble for doing this.”

You both sat in silence for a few moments. “So that’s why you were always so secretive?” You finally asked. Westar nodded. “So you’re, like, an alien?”

“A what?” He asked, confused.

“A being from another planet.”

“Umm I don’t think it’s really another planet? It’s more like just another world.” He said. Explaining was never one of his strengths.

“Oh. So what do you really look like?” You asked, curiously getting the best of you.

Westar definitely didn’t expect you to ask that, but decided to show you anyway. “Oh! Lemme show you.” With a flash, his appearance changed. Not as drastically as you expected. He turned more pale, and his hair changed from blonde to a very pale turquoise. His clothes also changed. And they certainly didn’t look like any clothes you’ve ever seen. Your jaw dropped, completely taken aback from the otherworldly transformation.

“Sorry! I should’ve given you a warning… or something.” He apologized. “So… are you mad?”

You looked him up and down, taking in his new form. “I… don’t think so.” Westar sighed in relief. “I always suspected something was going on. You were never really good at hiding it. But I was never expecting… this.” You gestured to his whole body.

He smiled big, and ran over to you. He threw himself into you, giving you another bone-crushing hug.

You wheezed from the air being squeezed out of you, then laughed. “Yeah, I guess I’m not really mad. After all, you’re still basically the same old Hayato- I mean, Westar. Besides, I understand why you had to keep it a secret.”

Westar let go. “So you still love me?” He asked, with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could make.

“Yes, sweetie. I still love you.” You giggled, then kissed him. He happily kissed back, hugging you again.

After a few moments though, he abruptly pulled away, panic written all over his face. “Oh gosh, Soular’s gonna be pissed.”

~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[lake-archive]

Wifey Material

AO3 Link

Fandom: Fire Emblem Awakening

Characters: Henry, Ann (OC)

Pairing: Henry/Ann

Words: 1,067

CONTENT WARNING!

This fic includes the following:

Talk About Death

Mild Blood & Injuries

Read at your own discretion!

“I… Don’t understand why you’d want to marry me of all people. I just mean… Uhm… Well… Don’t complain if you feel disappointed in any way, alright? I’d be anything but a desirable spouse…”

Needless to say, Henry’s beloved wifey had always been a bit of a worrywart. Even when getting herself into this entire marriage deal she felt the need to warn him beforehand. Even though both shared the same culture and knew that Plegian traditions can be unconventional. In fact some get weirded out when just hearing about said customs and would not want to touch them with a ten foot pole. Apparently they were ‘creepy’ or something. He didn’t get it. Didn’t every nation have its weird things? There are some things in Yilissean culture he found weird. Same for Chon’sin’s. Well, even with cultures in mind Ann probably doesn’t fit into any of these wife categories. Outside of dressing all dark maybe but that was more common among Plegians than anything. She wasn’t all gloomy and doomy though. Nor was she even a Grimleal, nor her entire family. That was a pretty rare find actually as Plegia is full of them! Even now the religion is stuck. Old habits die hard or something! (But maybe Henry can die even harder someday… Haha, just kidding!)

In any case, who is to judge what makes a good spouse and what doesn’t? Just because she can’t cook and her cleaning is abysmal? Not to mention the messes she can make herself on a regular? If that really matters to someone, they could just marry a housemaid or something like that. 

As for the cooking… It isn’t so bad. It’s like some poison, just less deadly. If you ever tasted poison and are used to it then her food isn’t so bad. In fact whenever Ann had to cook there were plenty of rations ready. Was it the tasteies food Henry ever had? Hmm… He wouldn’t go that far. But he liked it enough to eat it and have plenty to himself. Sometimes he would even insist Ann to cook, much to their own surprise. Even nowadays, just for old time’s sake. There’s way worse out there! But most stomachs seem to disagree. Not his own though! His was more than fine and he could always go for seconds or thirds! But enough about that… For now.

But what would make the perfect spouse? Hmmm… Everyone’s response is different to that and even Henry didn’t have the definitive answer for years nor had he really thought about it to be completely honest here. Of course nowadays he would point to his very own wife, what type of question would that be? If he didn’t think that then shame on him! May a deadly curse hex him and he shall fall dead to the ground! Maybe some blood will splatter too! The thought of it was amusing!

In any case, she may find herself unconventional but to him she was just fine. Even if she can be a little overbearing sometimes… Like at that time where she proved that her old habits really die hard… And by that he meant that they didn’t die at all. They were like some zombie, infesting her behavior even when he told her that he was doing just fine. And apparently a simple papercut was enough for her to treat his thumb. And of course he would sit there with a pout while having to eye the bandage applied to the thumb, only seeing the outline of blood coming from it.

“Seriously? This again?” Henry complained. “I wanted to look at the blood dripping down a little longer.”

“But what if you get your wound infected!?” Ann would always remind him. “Especially with all of those ingredients to mess around with! Who knows what might happen!”

“But what if I wanted to dye my blood green? What then?”

“You’re not doing such a thing!”

“Oh come on… What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I don’t know and I won’t let us figure that out.” She sighed. Oh she can for sure be a party pooper. “In any case, try to unwrap it and I will wrap it all up again. Don’t test me!”

Needless to say she really made a fuss about the smallest injuries. And it was only with him of all people, everyone else she had left off scot free. Especially back then in the army. It was always him she monitored, even when he assured her that he was going to be just fine.  “I’m not going to die.” Henry responded in the end, a little calmer than he would usually sound. “And I don’t plan on it anytime soon.”

“Tha—” She acted as if she was caught red handed just now, her flinching as a response when facing him. “I… I wasn’t implying—”

“Is it because of the battles back then?” He asked, at first a little calmer. His mood shifted in an instant once reminded of that. Right, there was a reason why she was always worried to death about him. He didn’t forget, he dared not to. And yet it is so far away now he saw no reason to worry that much. For him it was all a distant memory… Ok perhaps a little too much fun too but details. 

“Uh… W… Well…” She fumbled around a little, her eyes wandering to all possible sides here, left right and center. “Hah… M… Maybe a little but… You know… We have all been at death’s door basically so I just—”

“Hey, I might complain a little but I appreciate it.” He responded as his unharmed hand lifted itself up and pat her softly, trying to reassure her. “I suppose you’d see me rampaging too if anything happened to you. Oh, especially if you just went dead on me.”

“Ah—” It got a reaction out of her, to say the least, and that was an adorable yet also determined one in the end. “S… Still… I can’t help but worry… You never know what happens.”

“A mindset from the battlefield. But I appreciate it, really~”

And she had become a little flustered, unable to say a word, only being red all over her face. Yet she did not need to say more. Her adorable face said it all. 

Yeah, he really couldn’t ask for a better wife…

[honoviadakai]

Ivan Braginsky and Autism

From what I’ve seen, a lot of people in the Hetalia fandom view Russia as a character that is autistic coded.

I agree with this idea 100%

However I don’t think Ivan would really do anything about, make a big deal of it or even get a diagnosis.

First and foremost, this man is THE personification of the entire country of Russia, mental health is not a big priority in that country. A lot of the attitude towards mental illness and neurodivergent people is very “we don’t talk about Bruno”. Basically if you don’t bring it up, talk about it or seek help, it’s not an issue. Obviously that’s very difficult because some people will require medication or therapy to be able to have some semblance of normalcy, no such services exists in Russia without having to pay exorbitant amounts of money and basically condemning yourself to a life of solitude once you start seeing a specialist.

Ivan’s case is kinda weird though. This man is over 1,000 years old and very clearly has mental issues but both he and his family just kinda view it as “shell shock” from all the fighting he had to do in the past. He shrugs it off and just kinda goes about his days and just deals with things he thinks is symptomatic of PTSD. Ivan would absolutely have PTSD too, I think pretty much all the nations have that to some degree, Ivan just doesn’t realize that having a hard time expressing yourself, having difficulty understanding people’s feeling and the almost religious need to maintain his daily routine least he gets very upset has nothing to to with the traumas of war.

Honestly it would be Arthur, Alfred and Matthew who watch his behavior and realize…there’s more going on in the big guy’s head. The North American brothers would sit there, their mental gears turning as they try to figure out what they think it could be. It’s on the tip of their tongue…but what is it??? Arthur meanwhile is just casually drinking his tea, already knowing what’s up. Once he’s done having his afternoon tea, he sets his cup down and casually remarks

“You know he’s displaying almost all of the symptoms of autism in adults, right?”

The bespectacled brother’s eyes would light up. That was it! That’s what was going on!

Alfred would most likely be the one to bring it up to the Russian man and even offer to help him get a diagnosis and any other help he’d need.

This is where the issues would start…but not necessarily in a bad way…but not in a great way either…

First of all…what the hell is that? Ivan’s never heard of that word. Is it a disease? They’d have to explain it in great detail.

Second thing that would occur is that he’d be too prideful to go in. He’s healthy, why should he go see a doctor when he hasn’t even had allergies bothered him all that much since 1912. They’d have to fight this man to the death just to get him to MAYBE think about saying yes to a consultation.

Even if they SOMEHOW managed to get him to a specialist and get a diagnosis…honestly Ivan’s response would be to just…nod at the doctor, get up, go home and just go about his life the way he always has. Again, he’s over 1,000 years old now, if this hasn’t been an issue to him before then he sees no need to see a therapist or get medication.

Not all hope is lost though. If he does get a diagnosis or even just an explanation of what autism is, it’ll be in the back of his head. The topic might not come back up for weeks, months, years, even decades…but it will come up. One day he’ll be struggling to make eye contact while talking to the Italy brothers and getting more and more anxious because he thinks they might be judging him for it (they’re not btw). So he’ll excuse himself and whip out his phone to Google wether or not he’s sick only to remember…isn’t what he just went through a symptom of that thing he got diagnosed with a decade ago? He’ll Google it and sure enough, it is indeed a symptom.

Oh.

So how does he deal with everything now? He’s supposed to be make gnocchi with Feliciano and Lovino in 15 minutes. Again he’ll just Google how to calm his nerves, take a shot of vodka from his emergency flask, smack his face and walk back in like he’s not secretly screaming on the inside.

That’s just honestly how I think Ivan would deal with any mental health diagnosis. Just Google the symptoms, Google how to deal with it, take a shot of vodka and carry on as best he can.

Is this solution perfect? Hell fucking no. But it’s unfortunately what works for him and he’s a stubborn man that will continue on as he always has. Just dealing with the crippling anxiety and feeling of isolation with booze, and the stubborn mask of a man that isn’t too bothered by anything to hide that in reality, a lot makes him anxious but he’ll be damned if he’ll admit it to anyone.

[wejustvibing]

Hi again, you don’t have to post this (tbh it may be better if you don’t) but I’ve been sitting here, assessing my own ignorance and why, myself, i wanted Lewis to speak about stuff, or say the ‘right thing’ and i realised how gross my own thoughts were. When i thought about it, deep down, a lot of it showing he’s a ‘good person’ is all because I wanted people to see him as good, so i can feel good about supporting him and that’s disgusting. So so disgusting and misplaced when that’s NOT important. At the end of the day, people are dying in horrific circumstances and that should be the focus only. Always. Not the supposed ‘good’ that he encompasses. When i think about all he has said and done in the past, how alone he’s been in that, but how strong he presents himself, i feel like we lose sight that he’s a human with fears, anxieties, emotions etc it’s like the expectation for Lewis is always ‘lets see how much he is willing to sacrifice so we can say his care for others is credible’ and im unhappy with myself for being part of that. This isn’t centring me or Lewis in this, I’ve been spending my time caring and putting in actions for the causes but it made me think. Why is the outrage on what Lewis speaks about appropriately always so selective with his fans and his haters. Every day there is something new happening, horrific things, poverty, g3nocide, racism, miscarriages of justice, things that have been put on the news and others to a lesser extent and yet the outrage isnt constant. His humanity and credibility as a ‘good person’ wasn’t questioned when he didn’t speak about the murd3rs of black men in London being found, or about Sudan, or Congo, Syria, poverty and homelessness in the UK, Japan’s atrocious child, women, labour, lgbtqia+ laws and he loves that country (and i am not saying he needs to speak about these things btw but they’re staring us all in the face everyday leading to d3ath, displacement, struggle etc) and his fans are not nearly as frequently outraged as one would expect if they believe social media posts about right vs wrong are the reflection of being good or not so good or even bad. I dunno man, it’s just weird that through this, people are even centering him into convos when we should be concentrating on what we can do and holding people of power accountable. Again, you do not have to post this, and I know you said you’ll not speak about this further, but I feel safe to not feel judged when speaking with you even when you may not agree with me.

i'm posting it.

mainly for the second half and i'll circle back to it. well people are not wrong in wanting to have their favorites on their side and wanting them to have the same ideologies and moral stance as them. and with someone like lewis who has actively positioned himself as an ally and champion for many causes it is somewhat warranted too. but when something huge like this happens and the world wants answers we often just look in the wrong place and go for an easy way out blaming the closest thing we can find, over the real factors responsible for it. and in case of fandoms it borders on parasocial behavior imo. the thing you said about you wanting him to look like a good person doing the right thing with ideal views and proper expression of his opinion on social media is parasocial. and we all do it.

i just want you to know (and maybe you already know it) that lewis' actions or inaction are not your responsibility. you don't have to carry the burden of it. that's on him. you must free yourself of it otherwise you'll never get to be happy and have a "fan" experience. this is just my opinion and i follow it. you'll rarely see me talking about his personal life or choices for example, in general, because lbr they don't mean anything to my life and experiences. those are his own consequences. the only time we'd have to talk about them is to flaunt them in some rival fandoms face and we don't really have to do that, not in this situation at least. and he's not always going to be right, he's going to be hypocritical, he's going to change his opinion, he's going to make mistakes and we can't expect him to be perfect. we're not, why must he be? i kept telling myself that what i say on my social media means fuckall as long as i'm taking real steps (keeping in touch with people who need help and support or donating) but that wasn't a good thinking and i'm now actively posting and keeping up. that's privilege and i'm aware but i'm just letting you know this because i want you to know we're all messed up in one way or the other and that's allowed.

as much as i defend lewis for all his rights and wrongs i'm not happy he's not posted anything after that one time. he's been online, he's doing silly q&as, he's promoting his product which you best believe i will buy the first chance i get, he's making appearances, he's liking team stuff, it's not hard to repost several important links right? well, sure but even i wasn't posting anything, even i wasn't up to date on many things and i have a regular 9-5 job with ample time to waste on social media. he's leading a different life, a more sheltered and busier life. we have to accept that. we're all privileged to have a platform (i've been told multiple times in the last few days that this shit blog is a platform. mind you all my other social media is on ghost mode so yeah i'm a tumblr influencer but that's off topic) and how we use it is ultimately on us. we can hope for him to say something and maybe feel disappointed if he didn't but ruining our day over it, obsessing over it and letting it fester into something unnecessary is just a bad choice. that's not fair on us or him or the cause we're trying to highlight. you have to detach yourself beyond a point, is all i'm saying.

i don't want to tell you or anyone else how to process something or behave in such horrible situations but taking it out on celebs or watching something through your favorite celeb is not it. "but we can do both" you don't have to? their views on real life shit are not a priority right now and i won't be convinced otherwise. we must focus on people going through the horrors, focus on who caused it, focus on what WE can do about it and that's all we can do. that's what i'm doing. "oh he'll live if he loses his job" why must he? he's putting his money where his mouth is by taking real action. that's important too? we need him to stay employed. again, this is not me defending him. also "but he's under fia rule, he can't make a political statement." NO, HE'S NOT. first of all, they've not stopped him from speaking up about these issues on his socials and second of all, he's already said he will not care about the ban. so...

and finally the second half of your ask, you're bang on. there's literally so much happening in the world at the same time. always but especially right now. there's more than one genocide going on as we speak which feels horrible to even type out. not enough people are talking about horrible human rights violations happening in india, china, malaysia, syria, congo, ethiopia, tigray, sudan along with palestine with many of them getting no coverage. talking about them on our social media from the comfort of our spaces is extreme privilege in itself. but someone like lewis? he'll need to dedicate his entire time in learning and speaking up on all these things on top of what he's dealing with and bringing to life in his own workplace. that's his choice to make because he's that privileged. so anyway yeah, you see the selective outrage and wonder how fans are going to defend themselves on that. more importantly, are they satisfied with him speaking up or do they want him to speak up exactly what they want? we've seen multiple times that him speaking up is not enough, him acting on his words is not enough either so where do we go from here? it's best to just focus on ourselves and our actions instead. there's always an option to stop supporting him/any celebrity who you feel is purposely ignorant or hateful. they'll live, you'll live.

oof this answer is a whole ass mess and i'm glad i'm not a writer. this is why i didn't want to speak about it again because i have a lot to say. a lot. and most of it can be bullshit or out of touch blabbering or it can start unnecessary shit so i just try to shut up most of the time. i'm really struggling myself with the feeling of being useless and i'm trying to come to terms with it in my own way. but eventually we're all living and learning through this together.

but anyway i'm glad you feel safe talking to me. please keep sending asks, you can also slide into dms if you feel comfortable. sending lots of 🫶🏾

[autogynocrat]

Autism anon from earlier, here are the supposed tells/abnormalities I have:

- eating food one at a time, rather than sampling a bit of everything. Say I have a plate with e.g. steak, rice, and carrots on it. I will eat ALL the rice, then ALL the carrots, then ALL the steak. I always figured this was normal, but apparently it’s a tell in kids

- I like making feelings “even” on both side. Like, let’s say I’m walking through a door and I brush my right hand on the doorframe. I’ll immediately touch my left hand to the doorway, or I won’t quite feel right.

- lists. Fucking lists. Excel spreadsheets. I make so many lists and spreadsheets and charts and I don’t even know what I’m doing with all this data. Collating things. Like I made this playlist once of just covers of this old song, and the playlist is eight hours and twenty eight minutes long, and I individually organized the songs by year. I didn’t do it all at once of course, it was a little at a time

- tendency to overexplain if I’m telling a story, even if I know the other person knows the info I’m telling. My sister pointed this out to me, that I do this. Let’s say I were to tell a story about work, I might lead into it with “so we get paychecks, right? Because that’s why we have jobs. Every couple weeks, we get these checks that have a momentary amount, as compensation for the work we did. If you work more hours, you get more money…” etc.

- tendency towards repetitive, compulsive behaviors. I once went a year only listening to one (1) album. While I like movies, I rarely watch new ones, I just rewatch the same few movies over and over again. Some movies, I nearly have memorized as a consequence. I once frequented a specific sushi restaurant so many times that I decided to stop going because I felt self-conscious, but I went back after a week and the lady behind the counter went “you wanted more sushi!” as soon as she saw me walk in. I’m very into ritual, like I’ll eat the same thing every day for a while. Or like, I’ve tried getting into anime, but I just rewatch the same anime instead of watching new ones. Regarding compulsive behaviors, there will be things where I’m like “I need to stop doing this because it’s bad/wastes time/is evil/whatever” and will still feel compelled to do it like some phantom hand is guiding me on a chessboard

- I cannot fucking talk to people. I have no idea how to fucking socialize. I cannot understand fucking social cues. I have sat in awkward silence with so many people so many fucking times, I’ve said the wrong thing so many fucking times

- I unintentionally verbalize my thoughts and talk to myself. It’s very fucking hard to just shut my mouth and keep it shut. Usually it’s a light whisper, if I’m alone I just talk. Or I’ll mouth words, like if I’m thinking or typing. I’m mouthing this right now

- I memorize a lot of trivial facts and will regurgitate them onto people. I guess that’s kinda infodumping? I don’t know, I wouldn’t call them hyperfixations though. I just read wikipedia a lot

You mentioned doing weird repetitive things with my hands, what kind of things? I do repetitive things with my hands too. I can describe it as like, I’ll press down each finger individually one after another with my thumb, then I make a fist with my thumb inside and squeeze and it cracks my fingers, then I do it with the other hand. I click my ankles too, over and over

I don’t know, you be the judge. Surely this isn’t normal at least. I’d say most of these I thought were normal, or at least were acceptable social quirks and not signs of anything greater

when i eat the sausage egg mcgriddle at mcdonalds i take it apart and eat each piece individually with a fork and knife. i dont do this with every food but some foods are too much things at one if you dont take them apart. for curry i dont eat the rice and curry seperate i need an equal amount if curry and rice on the fork with every bite otherwise its wrong. if i have an uneven amount of sauce and other food when i finish any food it really annoy me. the iced Machiato at mcdonalds i dont like it when they stir it ib prefer to drink the caramel milk layer and the espresso layer as separate layers.

making things even i relate to this i like to arrange all the square groceries in the comveyer belt so they're perfectly packed it is literally so fun when they're aligned perfectly edge to edge

im too disorganized to makelists but i love looking at them. also wikis. wikis are my favorite media format sometimes. spreadsheets can be so beautiful but i think well indented code looks cuter and more beautiful especially in an ide with colors

i dont think i over explain things unless its something im really into

i only listen to the same music over and over and over again until i get tired of it which is usually never. i already like my music why do i need more? mili is my favorite artist btw i like them bc they make cute songs and happy songs and sad songs and the themes in the songs are cool and i like momocashews voice. i repeat certain phrases alot for no real reason other than it feels good like i say "oh no how could this happen to me" alot in a silly voice i just like how it feels in my throat. i dont feel like im guided or controlled i wish i was controlled it would be easier for me. i do however feel like an npc in a bad videogame or simulation or something. ive kinda accepted that my job is a simulation tough and i pretend im an npc with no agency i just say my pre programmed lines and focus on being a good and efficient npc its like a videogame to me and it makes the day go by easier.

i cant talk to people either they have to talk to me first most of the time or i feel like i dont have permission to enter their social circle. also i usually dont know what to say an im afraid of people thinking im weirrd

i verbalize or post almost all my thoughts i usually talk to myself more when people arent around but i still do it when people are around too. if you ever see me making lots of small text posts im probably stream of consciousness posting im basically doing the digital version of vwrbakizing every thought that goes thru my head

i dont know if anything i said makes sense sorry for the long post

[hunters-hairnoodle]

Hey

This is my first post ever and ig technically a rant post but idrc. None of you know who I am and that’s okay. I just occasionally have these days where my mind breaks. I survive each day and then it builds up until eventually there’s a night where I just burst. Tonight’s that night. I have no one to talk to this about. If I talk to my friends they won’t understand or won’t know what to do. My sister, maybe but unlikely. My mom is part of the issue and my dad would never understand. He’d just console me and act like that’s that, problem solved. Or he’d bring up fucking Jesus and make me pray over it, when I’m honestly fucking done with religion. 

The days themselves are fine, they’re fine ig. I mean little issues here and there but overall it’s fine. But i get to these nights and realize that it’s not all fine and that there’s a lot of fucking problems, but I can’t do anything about it. I’m a teenager, I don’t have money or can legally drive. Besides running away or suicide my options are limited. 

This is gonna sound so stupid to some people, and people will make fun of me for it cuz teenagers are demons who harvest on despair and anguish, but I’m just so worried that I can never be myself ever. At school it’s a facade. At home it’s a facade on who my mom wants me to be. I try to fit into it, but ik I’m fucking miserable. But whenever I am myself no one likes it. I become to weird or nerdy or annoying. And my mom hates it when I actually act like myself. I’ve broken free a little bit over the years, but overall I keep everything restrained. And she’s not a bad person, my mother, she’s just complicated. I can’t tell if she’s the issue or if I am. If I’m actually the bratty kid who’s complaining for no reason or if I have a legitimate reason to be upset. I can’t tell and I don’t know if I ever will be. 

On nights like these I go unnoticed by my family so I can wallow in pity alone. For some reason I can’t explain whenever anyone sees me crying or upset or having a panic attack or needing to rant I stop immediately. I listen through the walls as I cry to hear any movement. As soon as I hear any and hear my mother open her bedroom door to go to the bathroom i immediately stop and quiet myself. Just tonight while I was crying and breathing heavily and having a hard time thinking straight and acting normally I heard my mom talking to my sister. I stopped immediately and hid my phone since i knew she wouldn’t want me up. Just as I thought she walked into my room to say goodnight. I hid the crying sound from my voice as well as I could. For once she actually seemed concerned and asked if something was wrong. I was so tempted to tell her to be able to rant and cry to her, but I couldn’t. Because the problems are either her or me being gay and non-binary or just people at school. And whenever I share I’m always bad at it and don’t know how to describe it and get frustrated with myself. Guess I’m better at typing it all out then saying it. Then she always ends up getting mad at me for extending her help and I hate myself more. 

It’s not she’s a bad person she’s just hard. She yells curses in the car all the time at other drivers, which Ik isn’t a big deal but when you’ve been at school all day and just want some peace you’re hearing yelling. She’s also very judgemental of other people. She judged everyone by class and looks and their behavior. And it’s to an excessive degree. I think this may have caused me to feel the way I do about myself rn. She never says anything to me specially, but that’s when I act the right way. When I actually act like myself and wear what I want and look how I wish she judges me. Even if she doesn’t say anything directly I can tell by the way she looks and the way she responds with a tight voice. And the issue is whenever I vocalize any of these either what happens is above or she levels it down to me being a teenager and acting like a teen, therefore making my feelings not matter. That’s probably why I’m questioning if I have the right to be upset rn.

She’s also like a feminist which is a bad thing but it’s in a toxic way. Like every single man is bad boo. And then she’s hypocritical in the sense because she’ll hold men by the stereotypes but then changing her mind when it doesn’t benefit her. It’s hard to explain, but that’s the gist of it. For example we watched Hamilton together and she was complaining that there were no women in it (we hadn’t gotten to Schuyler sisters yet) she complained about how they have color blind casting and all that but why women couldn’t play these roles. I explained that it has to do with voice parts since usually AFAB and AMAB people have different sounding voices. She huffed and puffed at this. Throughout the thing she would make me stop so she could learn about the women involved in it and then would just kinda talk shit about the dudes the whole time and making it this whole thing when it’s just a fucking musical about a founding father. And I just have a complicated relationship with it since I’m AFAB and non-binary it’s just hard. Cuz I’m a feminist just not in my moms sense of it. And she’s hypocritical with it. Like when we watched the Oscar’s this lady won for this feminist movie and she did a whole feminism speech thing and my mom was all here for it. But later on when black Panther won something and the lady made a speech about black power she changes the channel! And Ik she would do the same shit if it was a speech about LGBTQ stuff.

With LGBTQ it’s so fucking hard being a gay non-binary teen. I live in the south and everyone here is fucking toxic christian who just say they don’t support it and move on. Or if they accept me they don’t really. Or they just tolerate it. Ig you would call it lesbian non-binary technically. That’s what I am. I have a they/them pin on my backpack and beanie. But no one calls me the right shit. I can’t correct them cuz then they’ll look at me and we’ll talk and they’ll just think it’s weird and not care enough. And being gay is the fucking worse. I’m the odd one out and yeah I can joke about it but it gets hard. I take a lot of shit letting people joke about it. Even with the f slur. But I can’t say anything. I’m still seen as weird for it, tho I am one of the more accepted ones for it probably cuz I don’t make a big deal about it. I haven’t really dated anyone. Ik if I did or actually talked about how I liked girl I’d be see as weird and looked at funny. Even with girls I’m friends with theyll just single me out for it. Like when we’re joking around and their being silly straight girls, and I’m not even trying to join in, they’ll be like “well not you cuz you’re gay and I don’t want you getting the wrong idea.” And then whenever I actually try to share my opinion on gay shit and how it makes me feel it doesn’t even matter. What’s worst of all is one of my best friends doesn’t fucking accept me cuz she’s super Christian. I want to talk to her about it but I can’t I fucking can’t cuz she doesn’t agree. I get asked weird questions or I get asked why im like this. I just wanna be myself for fucks sake. Why can’t anyone get that?

Im out to the whole grade and im really starting to regret it. 

I forgot to mention that my parents are divorced. My dads basically a sex addict but pretends he’s not. He’s just weird with everything, I never know what to do around him. I don’t know exactly what happened to make me get where I am with him, but yeah. Oh and my parents hate each other and don’t hide it. I don’t mind it too much but I bet it has some affect on me. 

Ik if ever told my mom I was gay it wouldn’t go great. There are several possibilities for it. She would either tell me I’m not, tell me I don’t know yet, or pretend to accept me but not really and judge me for it. And the non-binary thing she would hate. She’d wonder why I don’t want to be a woman. She’d say I’m just a masculine girl. But Ik I’m not. I’ve thought for fucking months about that shit and being called a girl and SHE sounds weird and wrong and not me. If I told her my new name too she’d flip. She’d wonder what was wrong with the name she chose and why I don’t like it anymore. She’d take it as a personal offense. 

This just adds to the fact that I can never be myself. But I don’t even know if that’s a good thing. No one at school ever likes when I am. They talk down about the few times I was myself. But I don’t even know wtf that is. I think it’s a little bit of what I am now, but not fully. My mom doesn’t like when I act how I want to at all. And just so you know I’m not some rebellious teen trying to do drugs or something. I just want to vibe as myself fully and without bounds. Do the things I want to do and not hold back. Wear what I want, get my hair how I want. But I can’t. It’s not just them. I’m scared to. I’ve been told my whole life that this is what good successful people do and looking this way or that will get judged and people will think this about you (aka when my mom judges everyone on every little thing). And then if I can be myself maybe I’ll finally be happy. But Ik it won’t work cuz people at school will make fun of me behind my back. I don’t know why I have all these issues or if they’re even issues at all. Maybe I am just a bratty teen complaining about nothing. I feel as tho I should be happy cuz on the surface that’s what it should be. But I’m not. Cuz if this is what happiness is it’s shit. But I don’t even know what that feels like and idk if I ever will.

If you’ve come this far thanks for reading all this. You’ve indulged me for one of my annual “nights” where I break. Thanks. I hope you’re happy. 

[doritofalls]

You mentioned you wanted to rewtite the love hotel suite? 👀

well it's not as much that i actively want to rewrite it, but i did have a dream about rewriting it. which is reasonable of my subconscious because we all know it is a trainwreck. i will talk about kiyo's love suite scene in detail under the cut and while i will try to remain as non-explicit as possible i will discuss the themes of consent and lack of consent and talk about sexual themes, so please only proceed if you are old enough to buy smokes in most european countries. i have also added the mature community label to be safe. 

most of my main gripes with the canonical kiyo love hotel scene isn't even the bondage element - it is fairly possible that by that point he has canonically brought up that he likes ropes, fucking, whatever, ok. working only by canon when writing a love suite event extra scene, let's keep that for the time being. it is not even that it's more explicit - it is by far not the only explicit love hotel scene next to miu's and angie's and tsumugi's kind of. i would argue that as far as kiyo and angie goes, their upbringing and personal traumas (implied csa in both ends) could even result in them acting overtly sexual for their age (we are ignoring whatever the hell miu's doing for argument's sake), and the love hotel scene isn't the only example of that, either.

i do find the element of consent (tho not only in kiyo's scene, obviously) clumsily handled and oddly written, though. kiyo is a victim of multiple instances of csa and familiar with the culture around bdsm, even if he by all means shouldn't be. i do not think it fits kiyo's character to ignore consent the way he does in the love hotel scene, when it is just not something that he does in other elements of his interpersonal relationships. if anything, kiyo seems to prefer explicit verbal consent to be a big part of most of his interactions, posing frequent tag questions. he tends to draw clear boundaries but other than the love suite event he is not seen crossing other people's boundaries in canon. it just comes out of left field, and it's weird and ooc.

now comes the lack of context, again, because it's not like the player is supposed to know the other characters' romantic fantasies - and even if you are, the catch is that they are fantasies. which muddies the water significantly when judging korekiyo's behavior in the love suite event. does he have fantasies of a reluctant partner who does get into things as they progress? a partner who is just shy? does he have fantasies of an unwilling partner entirely? even if that was the case, you can hardly judge someone for having fantasies, only being played out through fanservice fuckery, especially with the backlog of kiyo’s rape trauma. even if his fantasy includes shuichi as a fully willing and consenting party, is it possible that shuichi’s reluctance to play along makes the entire sceneiro have to reroute and get from point a to point b? 

we don’t know!! there is a severe lack of context. but that being said, i do just hate the whole love hotel scene and feel uncomfortable with the direction it takes, even if it IS just essential fanservice. implying that 3 out of 16 characters would ignore sexual consent is. bad guys. that’s bad. 

while in the dream i mentioned it was a situation where kiyo woulda had a chance to meet his sister in the flesh again with some possession/reincarnation switcharoo, i do actually like that the event isn’t about his sister. like i have mentioned it before, i do not think kiyo is truly in love with her - if anything, she is an unmovable element he must plan and wrap this fantasy around to feel wanted and in control. the sort of emotions his sister makes him feel are the polar opposites of his love suite event, and i think that’s a meaningful difference to showcase, even if i largely hate the entire thing. i do think kiyo having a good cry similarly to kirumi’s love hotel event woulda been much more productive use of this time, because canon makes it seem like sexual encounters are not all that rare for kiyo... so a moment of emotional intimacy slash relief would probably have been both more notable and more worthy of being a “fantasy” in his mind. though, that being said, i doubt kiyo allows himself to have fantasies that are unrelated to sister in some sort of capacity, so maybe physical encounters are as far away as he can get from her without it feeling like a betrayal. 

iunno....tldr hate kiyo’s love hotel all my homies hate kiyo’s love hotel 

[teenz-stories]

Teen-Z: Forever Young #3: Stressful Day In Work (Part 2)

As Cody’s client leaves he spots old lady. Pegasus woman with gray,long hair,blue eyes,green peplum dress and same colored heels looks angry at Cody.

Gleam: khm angry

Cody: smiles nervously Welcome to the CrispyBees! May I take your order?

Gleam: This place is way too bright. When I was your age restaurants were normal. She then scans the menu What’s with these weird names? „Extra Sweet”? „Triple Delicious”? She puts the menu away How should I know what do you serve here?!

Cody: sighs pointing at the bottom of „Extra Sweet” Ingredients are shown in the lower part.

Gleam puts on glasses

Gleam: Okay. She sighs I want „Choco Fun” then. I hope ice cream is good quality,not bought from the shop.

Cody: I will tell chef...

Gleam: smiles evily Oh no,young man. I want you to do this.

Cody: sighs M’am. This isn’t personal delivery. I got other clients.

Gleam: I got time.

Scene changes into Pinky and Mermaid arriving to the restaurant. Just as they enter they spot Gleam spitting ice cream out.

Cody: wipes his face angry  M’am. Your behavior is horrid. I never had client who acted this nasty before.

Gleam: And this won’t be the last time. She pulls out the notebook as she writes something

Pinky and Mermaid are shocked seeing the view.

Pinky: whispers to Mermaid Who’s that?!

Mermaid: You really don’t know? This is Gleam. Culinary critic. She never shown any mercy towards peoples she visited on the restaurants. Many restaurants she visited ended with negative reviews. I'm afraid this will be end of CrispyBees and Cody’s job if he will receive one star review.

Scene changes into Cody sitting sad on the table. Whole crew cheers him up except Charlie. They are now on the supply base.

Charlie: smirks Maybe discount for friends?

Cody: For idiots like you? No.

Charlie looks angry as he leaves. Pinky then looks worried at Kid.

Pinky: She gulps Listen. That girl is culinary critic.

Cody: I noticed this. He bends down to whisper seeing if Gleam isn’t anywhere to be seen She’s been harsh to me for few hours already!

Belze-Bob: Couldn’t you...I don’t know. Check what’s wrong is with her?

Dakota (offscreen): Whoa! Mind reading?! Count me in!

Crew notices vampire character coming back to the place. Then they look confused at Kid.

Dakota: their eyes goes wide You didn’t told me you have this huge pack of friends.

Cody: he smiles Guys? This is Dakota. He then turns to his friend Dakota? Meet. Pinky Pinky waves Greeny Greeny looks happy seeing Dakota’s style Belze-Bob demon boy waves Mermaid Mermaid smiles gently Ninelle she shyly smiles Alvin

Alvin: Hi

Cody: Aaaaaand he points at Nerd Wiccy.

Wiccy: Hey there. Nice style.

Dakota: smiles Thanks! Oh I feel so excited. They look judging stare at Kid Some old witch said some unpleasant things to you. I won’t let it slide. This she did crosses the line.

Mermaid: Dakota,dear. She gulps You know. Violence won’t solve the problems.

Dakota: I'm not talking about violence. I know she’s old woman but...

Cody: looks at Dakota Dakota. Mermaid is right. I appreaciate that you want to help me. But I can handle  it alone.

Alvin: looks at Dakota Wait. I know you.

Dakota: smirks

Alvin: You are that Teen-Ztuber who develops a Zims game? I seen your stream last week. I love how you worked on models for the Winter DLC. Definitely will be buying this game once everything will be ready.

Dakota: I plan Zims to have premiere next year. I wanna know that there won’t be any errors here and there. Plus having sponsor wouldn’t hurt.

Then they notice Charlie peeking from the window. Dakota stares confused.

Dakota: Uh... Who’s that?

Cody: scared Don’t let him in.

Dakota: Why? He doesn’t seem to be bad.

Pinky: She spits out her drink Oh my God. Dakota. He is far worse than you think.

Belze-Bob: If he will get inside,I'm leaving.

Dakota: If he’s making you mad. I can help you with giving him something to do so he won’t bother you.

[raccoonfallsharder]

hey, chip anon here, i was gonna respond to the miguel thing but i thought abt smth and now and i’m curious,,

okay so i gained a lil crush on someone i met at a mall, and now my friend is suddenly so down bad for him too and it’s stressing me out . i love her to death but this just is a lil much for me,, am i being dramatic?? sorry i’m asking you, i don’t have many friends so why not ask for advice anonymously?? you don’t have to answer , i just figured it was worth a shot

god this is embarrassing but being quite honest here this is one of my very first crushes (on the aromantic spectrum 🤟) and i do not know what to DO !!! is it normal for my friends deciding they wanna date my crush

btw i had chips today . i just had to add .

to start with: i know feelings tend to do whatever they want whether you fucken like it or not, but if you can…please be gentle with yourself? there’s no need to be embarrassed. (i dont know if this resonates for you but i personally think embarrassment is the result of our poor little prehistoric-mammal-instincts trying to protect us & warn us when they think that we might get judged for something && get kicked out of the pack but (1) that’s absolutely not gonna fuckin happen here and (2) i don’t think that there’s anything about your ask that isn’t relatable in some way. like you are for sure not alone in navigating first-time- or any-time-crush confusion & weirdness)

secondly…i’m just sorry you’re going through this. crush-feelings are…chaotic enough without having the added complication of newness plus a friend’s feelings being involved like this. that’s fuckin rough my little chip and I’m bummed that this is happening for you

thirdly: i would not consider myself an advice-giver generally, especially when i only have access to two paragraphs of information. ultimately, you are the person who knows your life better than anyone. you are the expert here. but i will share a few things i think might be helpful in really clarifying & distilling your own course of action?? && you can take or leave them as feels right to you.

so there’s twenty seven paragraphs behind the cut && probably none of them will be what you were hoping for, and im sorry for that, but it’s the best i can do && i hope it helps a little tiny bit ♡

we can’t ever really know what your friend is feeling. there can easily be innocent or toxic reasons for her to be interested in this person now. plus, people can’t control their feelings, anyway.

but they can control their behavior.

so i would think it might be helpful for you to identify the actual behaviors she’s engaging in. like, is she wanting to talk with you about this person and gush over them? or is she wanting to “compete” with you and…i dunno, date them first? is she indicating she wants to bond with you over this, or expressing apologies and concern and support for you, or suddenly trying to pursue this other person without any regard for you?

secondly i’d encourage you to consider how her behavior is impacting you, how she responds in general (including but not limited to this situation) when/if you tell her how her behavior is affecting you, and finally, consider how much you want your friendship to survive && flourish (there’s no shame in any answers to any of these questions).

from there, it might be easier to figure out how you want to respond.

you could roll with things and let it go (especially if you feel like it’s a benign shared interest and she really cares about supporting you).

you could talk to her about it and be like, “hey, i noticed you seemed to develop feelings for this person shortly after i expressed interest. our friendship is important to me, and i want to make sure we’re taking care of it, so i thought i should let you know i’m concerned for us right now. could we talk about it?” (which i think makes sense if her behavior bothers you, but you want to try to protect && preserve your friendship).

or you could cut her out entirely (this might make the most sense if it seems like a repeated pattern of behavior — not necessarily with romantic interests obvi, but just trying yo compete with you or not caring about your feelings — in spite of you expressing that it hurts you and/or if you’re not interested in seeing if the friendship can be salvaged).

and these are only three of like, countless approaches you could take, all of them on a massive spectrum.

the point is you have options. and you don’t even have to make a decision or take any action or commit to a line of thinking right now — you can just feel your fuckin feelings and wait and see what happens, if you want. take some time to think && to listen to yourself and your instincts. process with someone you trust. there’s no need to rush your own brain or to react quickly here.

and most importantly, trust yourself. again ill say: you are the best expert of your own life experiences. truly ♡ you’ve been living them your whole life && nobody knows em like you do

again im sorry i couldn’t be more helpful but that’s the best I’ve got. i love you chip nonnie && I’m rooting for you && hoping it all works out. keep me updated if you want ♡

ps for whatever it’s worth im actually on the asexual spectrum (not that anyone can tell from my current fanfiction offerings) so let me tell you the first time i had sexual feelings for a person it was a fuckin trip (panomantic demisexual here hello)

[gatitties]

Nightmares

─ Dbd x gn!teen!reader

─ Summary: you share your worst fears with Quentin in a nightmare night

─ Warnings: none

5 < 6 > 7

You got up suddenly, throwing off the poor sheets that covered you from the cold of the forest, drops of sweat ran down your forehead, you relaxed your erratic breathing with the passing of the minutes while you looked at nothing trying to relax your tense muscles due to a nightmare. Your worst nightmare. You got rid of the thoughts, not wanting to go back to sleep in case that thing came back to haunt your dreams. No, unfortunately it wasn't Freddy, but you'd rather find a singed baldhead than anything else.

You found yourself sitting by the campfire alone with a few stragglers who had messed up schedules or didn't know when it was day or night, not like there was much of a difference in this place either. Quentin was the one who barely left the campfire, despite having his own cabin to sleep in, the light, the fire and the people ─although they didn't speak─ they transmitted to him the tranquility that sleep could not give him due to the fear of being trapped in another nightmare with Krueger.

He seemed to notice how you bounced your leg against the ground repeatedly with anxiety, almost as if he perceived the bad habits that having a nightmare entailed, it was not so rare to see you there at 'night' because your schedules were anything but regular. Glancing over at the others, he didn't see much movement from Bill, who just smoked in silence perhaps remembering old battles. Zarina seemed in her own world and didn't get much chance to talk to her, and Yun-Jin Lee hadn't made a lot of friends at the moment, so Quentin just decided to approach you because he was bored to death and didn't want to end up falling asleep.

"Bad dream?"

"Do I have such a bad face?"

He shrugged his shoulders, clarifying that he knew how to detect people who simply didn't sleep well, whether due to nightmares or postures, it didn't matter, he was like a detector of bad habits when it came to having a good dream.

You got into some small talk about nonsense, Quentin was one of the younger ones and he sort of understood your impulsive and reckless behavior, the only thing he didn't understand was all those weird memes, despite being from a different time not so far from your time he couldn't understanding how a picture of a muscular dog was funny. He was very appreciative that from time to time you lent him your phone to let him listen to some music, of course it was more entertaining than listening to repeated conversations in the camp or the sound of crows.

At a certain point in the night you started to talk about nightmares, you were a morbid and curious shit, although you unearthed some traumas of the poor boy you were fascinated to hear Freddy's murderous ways.

"And on top of that he made it look like a suicide! At least I know in this realm he can't kill me, umh... not permanently or in dreams, I wish I could rest better, anyway, it's not fair that I'm digging up shitty memories, why don't you tell me about your nightmare? Sometimes it helps to talk about those things, you know?"

"Of course I know, Quentin, paying a monthly psychologist isn't exactly cheap, but it's just... it's so terrifying! It's like that thing haunts me even when I'm awake."

You looked down, intertwining your fingers, your eyes closing for a moment as you felt a hand on your shoulder letting you know that he would be there to support you with any of your dream problems.

"Come on, I've told you a lot of murders of my friends, what could be worse than that?"

"Many things..."

"For example?"

"Being canceled on Twitter."

"Wha- Okay, let's focus on your nightmare, what exactly was going on?"

"Well... let me remember..."

 You closed your eyes again, rubbing your temples as if that might bring you back to unconsciousness. You immediately remembered some scenes, a knife stuck in the door of your cabin, a green shape stalking you with big eyes on you, silently judging you as if you had forgotten something.

"My God! I remember now! Th-that thing... it haunted me in my dreams because I skipped my Spanish lesson."

"It's... Is someone chasing you in your dreams for not having attended your Spanish class? Really?"

"It's not that simple-"

Your sentence was cut off due to a 'ping' coming from your phone, you paled at the Green Owl's notification, 'Hi! It's Duo' read no more getting rid of the notification knowing you had skipped a day of your lessons. Quentin squinted at the screen over your shoulder, shook his head in disbelief, grabbing your phone to see what the hell that app was.

"Hey don't use the app, it's the devil! Once you use it you will be cursed."

"It's just a dumb app to learn languages, I don't think it's as bad as facing a murderer who killed all your friends."

"Poor naive... don't say I didn't warn you."

You whispered when you saw how a new lesson of words related to the family began, it was the downfall for Quentin, now he would have two monsters knocking on the door of his dreams, one worse than the other.

Quentin seemed quite entertaining the first few days, but after a few weeks it was quite repetitive, so he stopped asking for your cell phone to focus on other things than his Spanish lessons. Oh poor boy, you met him again another night where you just couldn't sleep and went to the campfire, having hardly anyone decided to sit like a straggler, imitating Jake. Until the boy jumped in front of you with his face full of sweat and pale.

"That damn bird won't stop chasing me while yelling at me 'Spanish or Vanish!' It's worse than I imagined, you have to help me, I was starting to get over Freddy and now this-!"

You put your hands on his shoulders to calm him, you sat him down and stroked his head as it rested on your shoulder, he clung to your arm as if the owl was going to come out from behind any tree to stab him for getting a word wrong.

"It will take a while, but it will go away eventually, for now, bienvenido al grupo, amigo. ¹

"Should I be scared to have understood that?"

"Yeah."

 ¹ Welcome to the group, friend.

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

Camila Noceda and Flawed Parenting

A perspective by a flawed person with loving but extremely flawed parents

I’m genuinely baffled at some people’s hostile reaction towards Camila. Like… do any of you have flawless parents that always know the best solution instantly, make no mistakes and never get emotional?

My parents are great. They’re super supportive and I love them very, very much. Overall I think I got very lucky in the parents department.

But god, they are far from flawless. I still live at home, and despite all the good, there’s moments when I can’t take my dad anymore. He’s the kind of dad that stayed up until two am to help me with homework when I was in school, and he does so, so many things to make sure I’m happy. I know that. But despite all of this, I have told my mom in emotional moments before that I’m not sure if I can keep living with him, because for all his good sides, he has a couple of fatal flaws that sometimes make him unbearable.

My mom listens to me and is very open to being educated on certain topics, but she has her flaws, too. She hates when I fight with my dad, and gets so torn up about it that I’ve once apologized to my dad out of fear of her getting into a car crash otherwise. She’s very vocal about certain flaws of mine, and sometimes uses the things she does for me as leverage against me when she gets very emotional.

And both of my parents pay a lot more attention to my brother because he needs it more, because he’s more of a “problem child” while I “seem so capable” even when I’m not.

And guess what? I’m not a perfect child. I make mistakes sometimes, some of them pretty severe. Just like Luz, I’m the kind of person that struggles to communicate certain issues of mine to her parents. I’m stubborn, and when I get emotional, I say very hurtful things sometimes. So do they.

And this has nothing to do with my parents being horrible or abusive. They’re neither of those things.

The takeaway from this should not be that my entire family is made up of terrible people, but that we’re all flawed in our own ways, despite loving each other and trying our best. There’s things about my parents I wish I could change, and there are things about me that my parents wish they could change. And to an extent, that’s perfectly normal.

In our strengths and flaws and frustration with each other, we’re all human.

Specific, spoiler-y Camila and Luz things under the cut since this got very long.

We have no indication that Camila has a pattern of emotionally manipulating Luz. Her “emotional manipulation” as I’ve seen some people put it, is people for some reason thinking that the second you become an adult, you’re suddenly perfect and can no longer make mistakes, lest you’ll be dubbed horrible and abusive.

The whole concept is absurd to me. There is no perfect way to parent. There simply isn’t. Of course, there’s some genuinely abusive patterns that are horrible and inexcusable. But out of the parenting styles that aren’t, which one works depends on a number of factors, one of which absolutely includes that every child is different and has different needs. Camila is an amazing parent for Vee, giving the kid everything she’s ever longed for. She’s not an ideal parent for Luz. And that’s because Luz and Vee have fundamentally different needs.

Likewise, Luz is a pretty great child for Eda, but not a perfect fit for Camila. Luz relates to Eda a lot more than she relates to her mom, and that’s why the two of them have an easier time understanding each other. Both of these mother-child relationships exist, and one is not more doomed to fail than the other, but I think you’ll agree that the better you understand someone and where they’re coming from, the easier it is to communicate, pick up on certain signs, etc.

As mom and daughter, Camila and Luz are both flawed and have issues seeing the other’s perspective because of how different they are. And we should simultaneously acknowledge both of their roles in the issue and give both of them the space to learn and grow past those issues.

Luz struggles to communicate her problems. She doesn’t want to burden people in the demon realm, and it’s a given that this started out as not wanting to burden her mom. So she keeps quiet about her issues. Camila tries hard but can’t read her daughter’s mind, so there’s only so much she can do to understand and help the way Luz needs her to. Hell, Eda, who Luz is a lot more open with than her mom, struggles to help her, because Luz doesn’t tell her what’s wrong. I don’t see anyone calling Eda a terrible mom for that.

Camila tries her best, but she struggles to understand her daughter because of this, and because of how fundamentally different they are. She loves Luz’s creativity, we actively see her supporting it in the new episode—she keeps the weird stuff Luz made because she thinks Luz will regret throwing it away, and even plays along in what she assumes to be some elaborate role play because “she’s glad Luz kept her creativity even though it’s not made things easy for her at school”. But at the beginning of the show, said creativity got out of hand and people got hurt. Luz could’ve gotten hurt. So of course Camila had to interfere. I love Luz dearly, but she thought it was okay to bring snakes to school and set off fireworks inside a school building. Creativity is great. Doing reckless stuff that causes people to get hurt is not.

In sending Luz to camp, Camila tried to have someone else fix her issue because she didn’t know how to help Luz. That was a mistake, and a bad one at that, but she’s realizing that. She looks disheartened when Vee tries to throw out Luz’s stuff, because she never meant to change her daughter or take that part of her away. She just thought Luz needed a reality check—which, for the record, is something the narrative actually agrees with.

Luz spends her time in the demon realm getting reality check after reality check, realizing that even her ideal fantasy world where she has everything she always wanted doesn’t mean she’s free of consequences. She goes overboard constantly, causing:

-Eda to be forced to fly into a trap because Luz is chasing a fantasy (Witches before Wizards)

-Eda to almost be branded by her sister because Luz doesn’t think through why Eda doesn’t use magic to publicly announce her presence constantly (Once Upon a Swap)

-Eda and the twins to get kidnapped by a Slitherbeast because Luz stole Amity’s wand (Adventures in the Elements)

-Her friends to get hurt when she goes overboard trying to help Willow (Wing it like Witches)

-Eda to be captured and almost petrified because Luz thought she could just steal from the Emperor with no consequences in an attempt to help (Agony of a Witch)

I’m like 90% sure these aren’t even all. None of those make her a terrible person, for the record, but as all humans are, she is flawed and makes bad choices. She learns from these experiences and matures, just like her mom had hoped she would at camp. She’s also made friends there, which was another thing Camila wanted for her daughter.

You’ll probably realize that a lot of Luz’s behaviors I mentioned follow one of two patterns: 1. Luz’s idealized fantasy world causing problems, when she walks around with rose tinted glasses and gets people in trouble in the process because she hasn’t thought about the consequences, and 2. Luz trying to help someone she loves, but instead making things worse in the progress. The issue with this one is often that she doesn’t communicate her ideas/listen to the people she’s trying to help—like when Willow and Gus said they’ve had enough of Grudgby, or how she never actually talks to Eda about the healing hat idea before doing something reckless.

…does the latter one sound familiar to you at all? No? Because it’s the exact same thing that Camila did.

Some of the things Luz does are reckless and actively endanger others and herself, and that’s something that I think we need to acknowledge before judging Camila. As Luz’s mom, it’s Camila’s job to interfere in those situations. That she made a mistake while trying to protect Luz doesn’t make her a terrible person, especially as, again, the narrative proves her right to an extent.

I’m not saying her making Luz promise to come back and stay isn’t something that hurt Luz—it absolutely is. But it was born out of desperation. She’s emotional and in shock. She’s so full of pain and regret. She just wants her fourteen year old daughter home safe, and there’s nothing abusive or even morally ambiguous about that.

From Luz’s perspective, what she says is absolutely heartbreaking, but from Camila’s, it’s perfectly reasonable. I doubt Camila has the full picture, but even if she does, she’s had a full fifteen seconds to process that her daughter has not only been lying to her for months, but chose to leave her, and is in the demon realm of all places. Of course she’d be emotional and upset about that! Who wouldn’t? Camila isn’t a robot. If she’d been calm about this I’d be way more concerned, honestly.

My parents don’t get mad that easily, but if I would lie to them for weeks on end, they’d be pissed off too, not even taking the running away from home part into account. That’s a normal thing. People don’t like being lied to. Camila is absolutely devastated in that moment because she’s scared that Luz left because she hates her, when Luz actively states that her leaving wasn’t about her mom—which is another thing we should really be acknowledging.

Abusive parents suck and abuse should obviously never be apologized or trivialized, but saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment isn’t the same thing as being an abusive parent. My parents have done this. I’ve done this. And yes, those things can be emotionally manipulative, but there’s a huge difference in whether that’s a habit or a person speaking out of hurt and desperation in a very specific context. I doubt there’s anyone on the entire planet that hasn’t had a bad moment where they’ve said something like this because they were hurting. People lash out when they hurt, and they beg for reassurance when they’re scared. That’s something we all do.

The whole mindset of “all parents have to be perfect and can never get upset or make any mistakes” is harmful as hell, and honestly also very unrealistic. No parent is perfect, and especially people like me who have a relationship with their parents that’s very good overall should know that.

Once you have a child, parenting is a non-stop learning process, every day for the rest of your life. Taking away that room to grow and expecting perfection isn’t helping anyone, especially not struggling single parents.

And I see Camila as someone who is very willing to learn, because at the end of the day, all she wants is for Luz to be happy. Let’s give her some time to wrap her head around this whole situation. Let’s see what she says once she sees for herself how happy Luz is in that world, may it be via the videos eventually coming through or Camila visiting and meeting Luz’s found family, her friends and her girlfriend.

Ultimately, I don’t think Camila will force Luz to stay at home, but we have to give her some time. She wants what’s best for Luz, and she’s gonna need some convincing that a dangerous magical world is what’s best. I feel like that’s very normal considering the circumstances.

Her and Luz need to work on their communication on both ends, they both have things to learn, but I’m certain they’ll manage to fix their relationship in the long run.

If the bunk bed is any indication, I think Vee is gonna stay in the human realm permanently while Luz sleeps at home but keeps attending Hexside in the daytime. That feels like a solution that keeps everyone happy, and allows Luz to spend time with all the people she loves. I can’t see her being forced to choose at the end.

As a closing statement: Eda isn’t an ideal mom, Amity isn’t an ideal friend or girlfriend and neither is Luz, Lilith isn’t an ideal sister… but that’s because no one is ever an ideal anything. Being flawed is a big part of being human. Everyone has different facets to their personality. Their flaws are what makes them such great, relatable, believable characters.

And I feel the same way about Camila. She’s an extremely believable character that reminds me of my own parents, flawed but very loving nonetheless.

(Also honestly, I think it’s pretty telling that some of you guys immediately bash the black single mom that’s obviously trying her hardest while giving the benefit of the doubt to Alador, who has been portrayed as neglecting and threatened his six year old daughter on screen. This was already a thing before we knew much about either of them, and I’m disappointed but unfortunately not very surprised that it still is.)

[taechaos]

Silent Treatment

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you.

warnings: slight angst, drugs, arguing, dubcon, cunnilingus, mild degredation

word count: 4.2k

tags: @mwitsmejk @1-in-abillion @kooookie

a/n: the request (contains some spoilers). i'm gonna take a very short break from this couple to write other requests!! hope u enjoy 💗

The shift in the Spring weather is unpredictable. One moment it’s chilly, and the other sunny. Humans can only adapt so much, and it causes an outbreak of common colds. Most people recover easily, handy medicine soothing their sore throats, syrups suppressing coughs, and nose sprays ridding the blockage. You, on the other hand, are not that lucky. With a weak immune system, you’re very careful to not get sick, but there must have been a slip-up because you’ve somehow lost your voice after catching a cold.

You sniffle and cough, but you can’t speak. It’s advised to not exert your vocal cords in cases like these, and that is just so unfortunate for you. The last thing you’d ever want to do is spread your sickness to Jungkook, and that meant not getting too close to him; it meant no kissing. 

A very large white placard is spread out in front of you on the wooden table, and you’re plastering printed images of a specific global issue on it. You’re sitting on a bench with two of your friends as they chatter mindlessly while you work. Jungkook has a project about climate change due in a few days, and it’s supposed to be very important for his final grade. You’ve already written him a script for his presentation along with a stick prop to point at specific pictures. It’s fun, glittery and he’s going to love it. 

“Hey,” Minnie, your friend, calls for you, “we’re going to get some coffee from Starbucks. Want us to get you green tea?”

Soyeon laughs when your eyes light up; it’s your favorite beverage, and it’s supposed to help with your sore throat. They leave with a smile after you give them a hyper nod and you’re alone as you adjust your woolen scarf around your neck. You need to heal as fast as you can so you’re no longer missing your beloved’s affection.

Jungkook has been feeling more inclined to approach you without reason lately, but that doesn’t mean it’s a common occurrence. Getting teased by his friend, specifically Taehyung, about having a sissy crush on a girl like yourself angered him to no end. A hit always got him to shut up, but not for long. He’s walking your way today because there’s no one around to judge him for talking to you. 

You’re tearing a double-sided tape when he sits on your table, carefully avoiding your materials. Your breath hitches as his eyes gloss over your work in progress. “Working hard, I see,” he comments with disinterest. He doesn’t say anything about your efforts, but he’s impressed. The corner of his lip tugs upwards before he leans in for a kiss. You have enough self-control and concern for his well-being over your desires to lean back before your lips make contact. His face is close to yours as he pauses and slightly frowns before trying again. He receives the same results and finally pulls back. 

“You did well,” he frowns at you and speaks as if you’re a child, “I’m praising you.” Your eyes are darting back and forth awkwardly and you don’t know what to do other than sit in silence. You put your hands on his knees as a resort and his frown deepens as he watches you. “I can take a hint, you know. You don’t have to fucking ignore me.” He roughly shoves your hands and stands up before storming off with a scoff. You’re torn between following him and being responsible over your belongings. You can’t let his grades go to waste because of a small misunderstanding, so you decide to text him instead. There’s always a possibility someone might steal his project. Or maybe after he’s cooled off? You delay the message, but somewhere in your heart, you’re satisfied by his reaction because it’s clear that he wanted to kiss you.

Heavy footsteps clomp against the sidewalk before Jungkook slumps on the seat next to Taehyung. It’s an isolated area for smoking students at the back of the campus, and his friend group is no exception to this role. They’re taking drags of cigarettes individually as Jungkook glares at his boots. They’re chunky and a bold black, and his dark outfit paints him as the big bad wolf. It fits, because he’s ready to attack when he’s filled with so much resentment. Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you. It doesn’t make sense, but you also grimaced at him, but then why were you doing his homework? He’s feeling frustrated, and upset all the same.

“Someone’s troubled,” Seokjin points out with a mouthful of smoke. “Kookie?”

Said boy only grunts in response.

“Did the lousy girl finally see you for who you really are and leave you?” Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to mock him with a pout. “Tragic.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tae,” Jungkook spits and sends him a death glare, fire flaming in his fierce eyes. “Go actually talk to a girl or something, and leave me alone. I can’t take your shit right now.”

The low blow doesn’t affect Taehyung in the slightest as he holds up his hands in defence with comically wide eyes. “Relax, tiger.”

“Moving on from Tae’s inability to talk to girls in broad daylight, what’s up with you Kook?” Namjoon butts in, earning a fake cough from the receiving end of the insult.

He pauses for a moment before babbling, “I hate those bitches. My mother for one, couldn’t stand wearing clothes whenever she saw a dude. Moving on from guy to guy, unless they’re a fucking asshole. What do they want? Why are they never fucking satisfied?!”

A moment of silence passes among the huddled friends before Yoongi breaks it with a joke, “Who’s the lucky girl?” It doesn’t land as Jungkook deeply sighs in response. “Did she cheat on you?” he tries again.

“No,” he murmurs.

“Then…?”

“She… I don’t fucking know, she gave me the silent treatment. She leaned away from me too,” he shakes his head with a quiet groan, “it just doesn’t add up. I got mad and left.”

“No way that could’ve ended up badly,” Taehyung chuckles but purses his lips when he’s sent another dirty look.  “How long was the interaction anyway?” 

“Like 30 seconds.”

“Are you coming out tonight?” Yoongi asks and puts out the burning tip of his stick. “Could help you feel better.”

“And we’ve got molly,” Namjoon adds.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Alcohol’s effect on a person differs in moods, and Jungkook is usually a horny drunk. Being a sad drunk is a first for him tonight, but he’s just so confused. It made his heart drop when you outwardly refused his advances and anxiety blossomed in his chest, which he has no idea how to deal with. It kicked in fight or flight instincts, and he just… hated the idea of you not loving him, even if it’s momentary. He can’t bear staying in a situation that makes him feel so insecure, and that feeling is supposed to be left in his childhood. You just about brought out the worst in him without doing anything. 

You didn’t do anything.

It’s 10PM and he’s waiting on your usual good night text that he never responds to. It’s so pathetic, and he hates himself for being so used to your affection that it worries him when he’s deprived of it. He’s never doubted your love for him, but his insecurities are churning his gut. It’s an overflow of all of his pent-up emotions, and he can’t handle it.

“Here,” Taehyung pops in out of nowhere, clutching a pill in his hand. There’s a bottle of water in the other as he holds them out for Jungkook to take. “Stop moping and get laid.”

“I’d say the same to you, but you’d probably start crying during sex,” he mumbles and uncaps the bottle before throwing in the pill and washing it down with the water. “Thanks.”

“See that girl over there?” he ignores him and steps behind his miserable friend to point at the owner of the sultry gaze directed at Jungkook from the bar. “She wants to fuck you. Or maybe me, but I’m passing her onto you.”

“How kind of you,” he sarcastically replies.

“Uh-uh, so you’re gonna be in ecstasy in about 10 minutes. Don’t fuck this up.” He slaps his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. It’s a lonesome party because not a lot of people are allowed in when drugs are involved. Causing a ruckus, receiving a noise complaint and then getting arrested is out of the question. 

He isn’t interested in sex with a stranger - not today at least -, but he hopes for it to change as he waits to approach her. Maybe drugs will rile him up enough to have fun with someone else and rid his mind of you. It’s an annoying itch on his brain, so he rests his head against the couch to comfort himself with the soft fabric. He’s sleepy from the beer he drank earlier, and he doesn’t know how time goes by so fast when he closes his eyes.

A few minutes must have passed, because he’s starting to feel dizzy in his seat. A smile carves on his face as his mind grows slightly fogged, and he opens his eyes to find the girl quietly chatting with a friend. When she glances at him, he beckons her to come over. She mouths a “be right back” to her friend before strutting in his direction.

“Hey,” she smiles down at him before sitting on the couch. She’s aristocratic, chic and pretty. “Sorry if I weirded you out earlier.” Her voice is sweet like honey, and her words flow out of her tongue so naturally. A dream girl, really, and Jungkook is starting to get horny.

“I don’t mind,” he reassures with a subtle seductive tone, “what’s a girl like you doing with this crowd? You look too innocent.” He wraps a finger around a strand of her hair and twirls it. It feels strange.

“My friend sent me here, told me to watch over someone,” she lowly speaks. “I’m Soyeon.”

“Nice to meet you, Soyeon,” he breathes before crashing her lips with his. His hand reaches down to grip her thigh, tongue poking out to swipe the sticky gloss. It’s flavored, and it tastes of strawberry. When she kisses him back so slowly, innocently, it turns him on so much. His pants feel tight around his crotch as he runs another hand through her soft hair. Compared to him, she’s passionate whereas he’s sloppy. He’s starting to get dizzier, and it feels so fucking good, but he hates it.

There is not a single reason for him to not enjoy this, not when his mood is lifting so high. The hand on her thigh lands on her cleavage instead and she’s so submissive and shy, but something’s off. He groans into her mouth before biting her lip, ripping a whine out of her. Why does she sound so sexy and annoying?  

He pulls away from her before sighing in irritation. “Fuck, I can’t do this.” 

“Did I do something wrong?” she asks worriedly.

“No, just, fuck.” He starts laughing before rubbing his palms on his eyes, “I really want to fuck, but I just can’t.”

“We can just chat,” she softly suggests. “What’s your name?”

“Jungkook.”

He removes his hands from his face when she goes silent. Her eyes are wide and she’s gaping at him… guiltily? “Crap,” she hisses quietly, “I was supposed to make sure you were okay. My roommate is like, super in love with you and asked me to come here.”

He says your name in a question, wondering if it’s you. When she nods, he asks for your dorm instantly.

“She’s in room 124… Why?”

When he stands up, there’s a sway in his posture but he recovers quickly. There’s an involuntary grin on his face as he thanks her ignorantly. He’s out of the villa in a rush, and he has the overwhelming urge to just run. The campus is a bit far away from the house, but he doesn’t care as his footfalls echo in the dark streets. He has so much energy to waste, and with his current stamina, he’s confident he’ll find you before dawn. It’s stupid but it’s fun, and he doesn’t care for catching his breath as the corner stores pass by him in a blur. 

Throughout the two hours of his reckless jog, where he mixed up directions multiple times, his mind is starting to clear up little by little. He’s happy because of what Soyeon told him, and he feels relieved upon seeing the familiar college building. He’s not allowed in dorms at this time, but he’s done this too many times to get caught. Except he was drunk in those instances, and being on MDMA was different. Sneaking past security was tough because he couldn’t bring himself to tiptoe without making so much noise. When they glanced at him, he thought it to be the only choice to just run past them. He’s in the elevator by the time they catch on, and the numbers look wonky in his eyes but he presses the button for the right floor. 

He’s shifting his weight repeatedly in an attempt to contain his excitement; he wants to see you so bad. The moment he hears the ding of the elevator, he’s running past the halls and stops upon seeing 124. He has to squint, but he knows this is your dorm. 

You wake up with a silent gasp when there’s a pound on the door. You clutch your sheets in fear until someone starts to sing your name. “Jungkook?” you mouth to yourself. You stand up and look through the peephole and there’s a man on the other side who’s bouncing on his feet impatiently.

“Open up,” he sings loudly. You’re worried when you swing the door open and yank him inside so he doesn’t wake up any other students. You try to talk but only a wheeze comes out, so you switch on the light to see him instead. The brightness hurts your eyes as you close them for a few seconds. “Well, well, well, look who we have here…”

He starts to circle around you slowly and stumbles behind you. “Sending people to spy on me after rejecting me like that.” His words are slightly slurred and you turn around to face him with a pout. You point at your throat to give him a hint, but his eyes don’t waver from your pleading ones. “What are your intentions, huh?” he weakly pushes you, “Sending me mixed signals. Who- who do you think you are?”

You hold his hands and place them on your neck, trying to communicate with him by mouthing, “I’m sick,” but he only chuckles. He seems sickeningly joyous, but he’s not over his anger. “Still not going to talk to me? What did I even do?”

You deeply inhale from your nose because he’s not paying attention to you. You’re frustrated with yourself until he yells, “WHY WON’T YOU TALK TO ME?” The surge of serotonin, his state of euphoria is crashing down on him the more you ignore him. He had believed the drug would only make him happy, but it intensified his sadness and anxiety just as much when he saw you. It helped him forget you in a social circle, but you confused him so much after he was reassured for so long - coupled with your silence, he’s raging.

“Why are you ignoring me?! What did I do that was so bad that you can’t bear talking to me anymore? You told me you loved me, please,” he chokes and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I’ll make it up to you, I’m so sad right now. Just say something…”

You’re watching him in shock and a hint of fear from his fluctuating mood. You want to cry at how pitiful he looks, but instead you aim to grab a piece of paper from your bedside table. He misreads your actions and pushes you against the wall. “Stop this. Stop!” He has your arms pinned and he’s trying so hard to intimidate you so you give in. A dry sob leaves you because he's going mad, but then he has a sudden epiphany. “Maybe you’ll love me again if I fuck you hard enough and engrave it in your brain that you’re mine. Yes, yes!”

He starts unbuckling his belt and you immediately try to stop him; he’ll get sick! He shoves you again and pulls down his jeans before mashing his mouth against yours. All of your efforts have gone to waste when his tongue forces its way down your throat. There’s no point to denying him now, so you hesitantly kiss him back. You’re so guilty, and he’s so careless as he roughly pushes his hand down your white cotton shorts. You’re wearing a navy blue sweater to match so you don’t get cold in the night, but the shorts are meant to prevent a fever. What’s the point now, then? He hasn’t even read your texts that you only remembered to send before sleeping. He missed a whole paragraph of your explanation and confronted you so angrily.

“I’m going to fuck you all night,” he growls against your lips, “then you’ll remember how much you love me.” Your moans are quiet and hitched as he presses down on your clit through your panties. His other hand is on his cock as he strokes it eagerly, ready to get inside you. “I missed you so fucking much in one day,” he whispers in a croak. Hearing it makes you feel even warmer inside as you nudge his hand to urge him to enter you. “You missed me too, huh?” he takes notice of your neediness. “Shouldn’t have fucking brought it upon yourself then.”

He removes his hand from your shorts and taps your thighs before demanding, “Jump.” You bite your lip in consideration until he taps them harder and you quickly wrap your legs around his waist. Your shorts are relatively short, resembling loose boxers, so when your back is pressed against the wall he only pushes them and your underwear to the side before thrusting into you. A scream gets caught in your throat, and you forget all about your aches as he roughly fucks into you without caring for protection or lube. It stings only slightly, but the pleasure in feeling so full of him outweighs the pain.

Jungkook is moaning and groaning as he bruises your thighs in his hold. Your panting is all he can catch, and though the feeling of you is an amplified sensation because of the drug coursing in his system, he wants to hear you chant his name as well. “Still quiet?” he tuts and carries you to your narrow bed and you cling onto his shoulder while trying to catch your breath after the sudden attack. “Your cunt is throbbing though,” he says as he pulls out of you and drops you on the bed. He manhandles you by flipping you on your stomach and holds up your ass. He finally takes off your bottom clothing, but he’s slightly dizzy as he yanks them off your ankles. He spreads your thighs apart and you’re on your knees with your head against the mattress. “I wonder why that is,” he says before slapping your pussy, making you whimper quietly. “So wet, yet you don’t even make a sound. Some whore you are.” You purse your lips and muster a whine, but it’s interrupted when he pistons his cock inside you without warning. Your sounds are hoarse as he pounds into you from the back, hands kneading your ass to the shape of his hands. He gives it a spank as he moans loudly; the new position makes it feel so much more intense, and Jungkook loves it. His ears finally get to hear your pathetic mewls as he thrusts so deeply inside you that your vision blurs with tears and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. You feel like a doll that can’t speak or move, and he’s evidently enjoying it going by his rushed pace. You’re challenging him with your silence, and he loves proving himself.

All of a sudden however, he stops moving. You look behind you with a pout and he quirks a brow at you. You grit your teeth because you know he's waiting for you to tell him to continue, or rather daring you to do something. A sudden surge of confidence overcomes you and you gently slam your hips against his, fucking yourself on his cock with your eyes screwed shut.

“Yes, baby,” he strains, “show me that you're still my good girl.” At his encouragement, you meet his thrusts faster and you're seeing stars at how amazing it feels. You want to be his good girl so bad, and you arch your back to savour the pleasure. “Your pussy is mine, all mine,” he affirms to himself and stills your hips to turn you around without removing his length. His fingers are digging into your flesh and your tits bounce under the fabric as he rams into you restlessly. Your mouth is open in a silent scream and he can barely make out your pupils, the whites of your eyes stirring his climax at how attractive you look under the poor lighting. “I love you so fucking much,” he cries, “say it back, baby.”

You try to, but you can only dryly cough. “You fucking bitch,” he hisses at your defiance and pulls out of you to pump his length. He’s close to his release, and he pushes up your sweater to see your hard nipples that make him salivate. He crawls to slide his cock between the valley of your breasts and it hurts when he harshly pushes them together. “Stick out your tongue,” he commands in a whisper, and you do so while panting like a dog. Every time he thrusts upwards, the tip of his head grazes your tongue and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He’s massaging your tits as he stutters between whines, and eventually his load spurts out to land on your chest and cheek with a particularly loud groan. His cum surges down his shaft as he rides out his high with the last slow thrusts. 

“Oh fuck,” he sighs airily and collapses next to you in the tiny space available. You clumsily turn on your side to give him more room and he pecks your swollen lips. He zips his pants back up and you’re still naked from the waist down. You’re staring at each other adoringly in the romantic, fragile atmosphere; another first.

“I love you,” you croak finally. It’s quieter than a whisper, and it makes you cringe at how hideous you sound; it’s painful as well.

His face lights up once he registers your words before noticing the tone. “What happened to your voice?”

“Sick.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything more as you snuggle into his side and he instinctively wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Shit,” he murmurs, “why didn’t you tell me that sooner, idiot?”

You slap a hand on his front pocket where his phone is, and he hastily takes it out to see a bunch of notifications from you. “You sent it at night, you’re still the idiot.” You giggle and roll your eyes. “A promise is a promise, though,” he purrs before cupping your bare heat. “I did say I would fuck you all night.” You widen your eyes when his head lowers down to face your sopping wet cunt, and he slowly licks up a stripe over your soaked folds, making you shudder and grip his hair. He’s leaving kitty licks all over your sensitivity, the tip of his tongue lightly brushing against your clit every now and then. Your hips lift involuntarily, and he finally takes your clit in his mouth and sucks on it loudly. He slurps your arousal before spitting it back on your hood, and you can only squeak in response. Your hazed mind only tells you that you want more, and he doesn’t fail to provide.

Two fingers enter your clenching hole, and he’s scissoring your walls as he messily eats you out. The pleasure from earlier returns all too soon and you know you won’t be able to last long. His lids are hooded when you glance down at him and the way he’s looking at you makes it even harder to resist your orgasm. The knot in your stomach picks back up right before unraveling and your moan is raspy as you start twitching under his relentless mouth. He grows gentle and leaves kisses all over your vulva until your body falls limp on the sheets.

After another round of penetrative sex, the two of you fall asleep from exhaustion in your bed. It’s a first for the both of you, and Jungkook decides in his drunken mind that tonight won’t be the last. It feels so intimate when he cuddles you, and you won’t ever forget his love confession.

The next morning is not so pleasant however, as Jungkook wakes up with a loud sneeze and in his now nasal voice says, “God fucking damn it.”

[sohin-ace]

Josuke & Okuyasu - Magazine

Inspired by that one fanart I can't use because I can't find the artist.

Enjoy~

'Boys will be boys'.

We don't count the times this excuse was used to justify the hormone-driven and often stupid decisions or behaviors of male teenagers.

This applies to our two protagonists, Josuke and Okuyasu who just happened to be at that age where boys were curious about their own selves but most importantly of course, curious about the opposite sex.

They couldn't really be blamed, sexuality was a normal part of a teenager's life after all. Which may or may not imply them oogling questionable things here and there or watching specific videos, for instance.

Josuke and Okuyasu decided to feast their eyes as a part of their numerous 'bro dates' as they called them, and made it a regular thing.

Of course, they made these moments very secret. Only them could know what sinful things they were doing after school. They trusted no one else than each other and nobody should ever know about their activities.

They especially couldn't let a girl know about their shenanigans. Oh no, that would be an absolute disaster if they were to be caught red-handed by a girl from their school. They would have to carry the heavy title of 'disgusting perverts', stamped right on their foreheads for the rest of their highschool years, if not their life.

One day as they got out of school, they decided to check out the X-rated section of a local konbini, section placed strategically in the far corner of the shop, and opened some nice porn magazine for their needy eyes. As one does.

"Yoooo Josuke check this out!" Okuyasu exclaimed to his friend while pointing to one of the pages, already blushing madly and coughing up an impressed chuckle.

"Oh my god!!" Josuke whisper-yelled to his friend, trying to not catch people's attention. "That's hot! You think those boobs are real?"

They kept on drooling over pictures of sexy women in bikinis or underwear and posing suggestively for 10 more solid minutes, completely forgetting about their surroundings.

They weren't really worried about getting caught as the section they were in was pretty far away from the entrance of the store and nobody really passed by this corner of the shop anyways.

As they were in their own little fantasy world, they didn't notice a certain H/C haired female coming up behind them.

"Hey isn't that the red head girl from last time?" Josuke commented as he pointed at a certain picture.

"The one who was licking a cherry? Yeah I think so." Replied his tan best friend who started chuckling.

"Who even licks cherries like that?"

"I don't know but she can lick my cherry if you know what I'm sayin'~"

They both snorted obnoxiously and stupidly to themselves until they suddenly heard a very familiar someone right behind them.

"Hey guys! What's up!"

The boys jumped, screaming high pitched 'Eeeks' and 'Uwahs' at the sound of your sweet voice startling them into the worst heart attack they'd ever experience, threatening to cut their short lives even shorter.

Josuke nearly dropped the lewd magazine from his clammy hands and they both turned around abruptly, sweating bullets as they desperately and clumsily hid the piece of dirty evidence behind their backs.

'Oh no. God, everything but not this...' They both thought in unison, as if connected.

The last thing they could have ever expected or wanted, was seeing YOU, of all people, here out of all places and now, out of all times. They really had the worst luck. Suddenly, getting struck by thunder seemed appealing.

"O-o-oh hey Y/N-chan..." Okuyasu stuttered shakily, still sweating profusely.

"What uh... Ahem... What are you doing... here...?" Josuke continued clearing his tight throat and eyeing his best friend with rising anxiety.

The boys were silently communicating, trying to come up with anything, any excuse to either hide their shameful crime from you, or make you leave as soon as possible. They had to work their so-called 'bro-telepathy' like they never did before.

"I was passing by to get some strawberry milk, but then I recognized your hair in the distance! I'm so glad to see you!" You smiled angelically at them while showing them your little pink carton of strawberry milk like it was some prize.

You were beaming so brightly at them, they almost had to squint at your radiating light and beauty. Oh no this was bad, they were both striked by you like an arrow right through their heart.

'She.... SHE'S TOO CUTE FOR THIS WORLD!' They both screamed in their heads.

You, in particular, should never know about what they were doing. EVER. You were way too pure and too innocent for this. Who knows what your reaction would be if you discovered their lewd secrets? Would you judge them? Be disgusted by them? Never talk to them ever again? They couldn't possibly risk that.

Sadly, they were not as glad to see you here as you were to see them. You eventually asked them the oh-so-dreaded question that they wished you'd never ask.

"So, what were you boys doing? Reading manga?" You leaned over to the side slightly trying to see what they were hiding behind their backs and they both panicked.

Obviously you didn't notice the big 'R18' sign over all three of your heads and surely, you couldn't know what this part of the store was since you probably never checked it in your entire life.

In an amazingly coordinated moment, Josuke swiftly handed the magazine to Okuyasu while walking towards you, passing in front of the Jobro, the action completely hidden from your sight.

Josuke came in front of you and grabbed your shoulders, smiling big and trying to act as natural as he could.

"Aah um yes! Manga! Actually there's this one manga I wanted to show you, good thing you're here!" The pompadour-haired haafu was still obviously in utter panick, even if he tried his best to play it cool.

As Josuke was trying to deflect your attention from their guilty pleasure, Okuyasu took this advantage to turn around and scurriedly hide the magazine back in it's original shelf.

You were confused at their shady behavior and furrowed your eyebrows a little bit. You noticed Josuke was sweating and panting slightly, but your eyes traveled to Okuyasu fumbling with the magazines behind and you tried to make out what he was doing.

But Josuke wouldn't let you discover their evil plan for anything in the world, and so, he cupped both your cheeks in his large hands earning a gasp from you as he almost squished them, and turned your head back to face him.

He leaned down to your height and your eyes widened, puzzled by his spontaneous actions.

"Y/N Look at me! Look at my eyes!" He stared at you with a serious expression and you blushed at his sudden bold act and how close he was.

"J-jojo...?" You yelped as your heart was beating fast in your chest.

You were so confused as to what the hell was going on and why they were acting so weird. You knew the two could be up to some truly bizarre adventures sometimes, but that was just so strange.

Whatever they were trying to distract you from, it was working. His face was so close to yours, and his big hands were so warm, you subconsciously put your small ones over his wrists in response, face now red with blood and adrenaline.

You were beyond puzzled at everything that was happening, but you were so lost in Josuke's ocean blue eyes, you completely forgot about what Okuyasu was hiding so clumsily.

Speak of the devil, the tan male suddenly came up to you both, and Josuke released you from his grasp as his best friend made a surprisingly genius offer.

"Ohh Y/N, you didn't pay for that milk yet, right? Good, it's my treat then! Josuke, let's get some too! I'm thirsty."

The scar-faced boy casually wrapped a large arm around your shoulders and swiflty turned you around in his strong hold, effectively dragging you away from the adult section of the store, and barely letting you any time to even glance at the overly sexual display around you.

"Eh? What about that manga you wanted to show me?" You looked back at Josuke, regaining your composure slowly.

"Oh that? Never mind, it's not important anyway- Hey Okuyasu, do you want banana flavor or chocolate?" The fourth Jojo quickly changed the subject as he opened the fridge doors and picked up some drinks.

"You guys are acting so weird today..." You loved the boys, and they usually brought you into their messes, that wasn't anything new, but sometimes you really couldn't understand them. "I'll go wait in line while you guys make up your minds."

You gently patted Okuyasu's chest who almost forgot to let you go and you walked away towards the cash register.

When you were finally out of earshot, they both stared at each other, thinking of how they just dodged a bullet so big, it might as well just have been an atomic bomb.

"D-dude... That was so clutch man...." Josuke sighed, still swallowing his stress out and his best friend only shut his eyes and cringed before grabbing his drink.

"Just shut up, let's not talk about it..."

"Aaahh!!" Okuyasu let out a loud sigh of delight as he sipped his banana milk. "Man, that hit the spot."

"Yeah! Nothing better than some fresh milk in the summer. Great idea Y/N."

You three walked out of the store and headed back home, enjoying your drinks. You giggled at their over-the-top reaction and handed them your own carton.

"You guys want to try strawberry flavor?"

"Oohh~" Okuyasu gushed before smirking and taking the item from your hands. "An indirect kiss from my little Y/N! Lucky~"

Josuke gasped and snatched the drink as well, snickering when he was done. "Can't say no when she's the one who proposed huehue!"

"Well you both drank from the same straw, so technically you two kissed too!" You laughed at their priceless shocked facial expressions.

"WHAT?!"

"Naah dude, no homo, no homo." Josuke patted his friend's back, reassuring him with the holy expression famous for saving countless men from potential homosexuality.

Okuyasu sighed in relief. "Yeah, no homo! Still in the bro zone, bro."

You snorted at their questionable reasoning and kept on walking when you suddenly saw two familiar faces coming towards you.

"Oh! It's Koichi and Yukako!" You waved and smiled at the couple who approached you.

"Oh hey guys, what are you doing?" The short male greeted with a smile.

"Oh nothing much, I bumped into them in the konbini." You sheepishly answered and Yukako quirked an eyebrow at the two suspicious looking males next to you.

"Really?" She feigned, still staring at them. "What were they doing without you I wonder..."

"I don't know, reading manga I think? I'm not sure, they wouldn't tell me." You tried to look between her and them and they seemed to glare at the girl as hard as she did them.

"Huh?" She scoffed and shifted her weight on one leg." I bet you guys were reading porn again. Y/N I can't believe your patience around those guys."

"HUUUHHH???" Koichi yelled in pure surprise at the revelation and you three widened your eyes.

"YOU FREAKIN- OH MY GOD SHUT UP!" Okuyasu gasped and screamed at the girl who was smirking in victory.

"W-what?" You stuttered and looked at the two visibly stressed boys. "Po-... I don't- ... What??"

"Y/N DON'T LISTEN TO HER SHE'S LYING!" Josuke guiltily tried to reason as you covered your mouth in shock.

"Well it's the truth, right? Did I hit a sensitive subject, perhaps?" The brunette chuckled cutely, infuriating your friends even more.

"YOU'RE DEAD!!!"

Josuke sprinted towards Yukako who easily hoisted her awe-struck boyfriend over her shoulder and ran for dear life, having no regrets whatsoever.

An old one. A very old fic, it hurts to read it. I'm going to go ahead and post some old stuff I wrote just to get them out of my drafts. I hope they'll be enough for my beautiful gangsters.

[seesgood]

can we very gently talk about call out posts / culture really quick?  not in a judgmental way, but in like a: i just want to pose a thought and explain why i’m never going to buy into it and why i wish it would become less of a trend instead of more of one? and i’ll add the  disclaimer  here: i totally get not wanting certain people around you for various reasons, that is all your prerogative. that’s your comfort level. but in emphasizing “your blog should be a safe space” we’re kind’ve losing sight of the fact that the rpc should also be a safe space, and as much as your comfort and safety matter, so do other people’s. and not just the person who hurt you, but the third parties and other mutuals and 99.9% of people who are not at all involved in any way in whatever happened. so, anyway here goes, read it or don’t, we all have different opinions or reasons, i just want to be heard:

people are allowed to change.  think back to who you were last year. two years ago. think about the stuff you said when you were seventeen, or twenty-one, or hell whatever age you were. current-you would probably cringe at the kind of stuff past-you had to say. because you grew. you learned. you had life experiences. in hindsight you have the freedom to be like “oof yeah that was not the best version of myself right there damn i don’t want to be like that again.” the growing trend of ‘here’s a 10+ page google doc complete with out of context screenshots that sometimes date back to like 2017 or earlier’ makes this kind of change impossible. because right there, you’ve just frozen a person in time, probably not at their best, removed any and all amounts of context, and put it on the internet and let other people judge it for themselves. 

so that leads into another point that i want to just kinda present to the community at large: the act of documenting behaviors and storing them for months / years at a time, in itself creates a super unsafe environment, not just for you, your friends, the people who have hurt you --- but also for anyone else that isn’t at all involved in whatever happened. like, for example, i like to think that i’m a pretty nice person. i actively try to be a nice person. am i sometimes not having the best day? have people definitely caught me in bad moments? oh hell yeah. but am i, as someone who tries really hard to be nice and welcoming, constantly thinking through every message i send to someone knowing that a) i could have a reputation that makes them read into context that isn’t there and that could contribute to them misinterpreting words i meant in a different way, b) very aware that every post i make, ask i send, message i send can at any moment be screenshotted and posted and taken out of context and either serve as someone’s only opinion of me or pile on to someone’s existing opinion of me? yeah. so in my experience, and based on people i’ve talked to, we now have this thing where you can be surface-friends wtih a lot of people, but if you want to survive in the tumblr rpc you should really only have 2-3 people that you really trust that you can actually talk about shit with. 

and lately i’ve been seeing a resurgence of posts on my dash about like “bring back xyz in the rpc” or “the reason the rpc is like this is because of xyz” and i both agree and disagree with a lot of this, but primarily i think the reason the rpc is Off lately is because everyone and their cousin has a DNI, which is --- again --- your decision and i understand and respect that, but while you know the context of every name on that DNI, other people don’t. and to be honest: other people don’t really care and honestly maybe they shouldn’t care. --- and don’t get me wrong, your friends should care if someone has hurt you. that’s important. but joe billy bob who just wants to write their character with yours is going to read through your rules, they’re going to see “do not interact with me if you follow with or interact with these people you’ve never heard of and if you want me to tell you why just message me” (which no one is ever going to do, i’m sorry to say). and say, joe billy bob also followed that other person because they were like ‘omg this blog looks cool’ --- now joe billy bob, who just wants to write cool plots, is suddenly the middle-man in some type of drama that they do not understand, and maybe they’re able to remove themselves from the situation, but even then it’s still in the back of your mind. 

this is getting long. it’ll be longer, but let’s take a brief break for me to remind you that in some cases, it’s definitely good to give your mutuals and friends a heads up when someone has done something really, really bad. like, remember x amount of years ago when some dude was like ‘i’m gonna make up a new person and say they died by suicide as a social experiment’ or ‘hey this person actively tries to force very triggering plots about abuse / rape / incest onto people and has been doing so for years and does not seem to change their ways no matter how many people try to educate them’ that’s shit people should probably know about. and it’s also okay ( in my opinion ) for your friends to be able to message you like ‘hey i saw you’re writing with x and i just wanted to let you know i had this experience with them’ if that’s something they feel comfortable doing. and if they are comfortable with you still having the autonomy to make your own decision regarding the person. 

i’ll be honest, for a second: i’ve been part of friendships and groups that have turned really toxic for one reason or another. a handful of times. there are probably people out there that are like “yeah this chick is really fake and manipulative and etc, i was friends with her back in 2019″ which, okay. yeah. i’ve definitely done shit and said shit that was not the most representative of who i want to be and who i want to become, and you probably have to. because we are human beings and we are a product of our social groups and the community around us. and you shouldn’t be chained to a version of you that isn’t you anymore. people change. they grow. you don’t have to like them, but you should respect that sometimes people don’t mesh, and that doesn’t mean any of them are bad people, it just means the experience was bad. 

a few additional notes i would like to make but i’ve already gone on way too long:

90% of the callout posts that i’ve seen and the DNI’s that i’ve seen can, in my opinion, be classified as a friend group thing. you were friends with x, x did something, now y and z aren’t friends with x anymore. pain is a very, very real thing and people hurting you should never be minimized, but at some point i just want you to remember that not every friendship is going to end happily, but both you and the other party should be allowed to move on and grow better, healthier friendships after. rehashing Friend Group Gone Wrong instances removes that ability for not only person x, but also person y and z.

you putting out a callout says just as much ( maybe more ) about you than it does about the other person. which sucks. because i’d like to think we all have great intentions, and i’m not saying that you should swallow your pain, but it might not be the kind of thing that impacts the community at large, and maybe you should try to find a better way of working through it with a trusted friend(s)

i’m going to be very real and very blunt on this one: literally no one cares. i say that with love. i’m good friends with people who have each other on their DNI’s. establish a baseline of respect and ‘i’m not going to say anything to them about you and vice versa because there’s no need for me to do so’ and move on. but seriously. no one cares. most outside people read callout posts because they like being in the know about the drama, not because they actually care. 

person a and person b who are mentioned in the DNI / callout aren’t the only ones who are going to be affected. your friends, your mutuals, your writing partners are now all put in a weird spot where you have to pick sides on an issue you know nothing about and shouldn’t have to know anything about. you’re asking people to choose sides on an issue they cannot fully understand, and that’s not fair to them or to you. and it drives great people away. and then we all lose out on having more awesome people in the rpc.

you’re entitled to your safe space, but this is a public platform and you are also responsible for maintaining your safe space. you shouldn’t put it entirely on other people to do that for you. you can block, blacklist, make up funny names for, or spitefully erase from your many anything and anyone that you wish. but you shouldn’t make your friends do it for you.

there’s always an inherent power imbalance when any kind of drama occurs between those who have more followers / friends / connections and those who do not. and the smaller blog is always going to suffer a little bit more because they don’t have people blindly coming to their defense. 

bad moments, bad experiences, bad decisions DO NOT equal bad people. 

allow people to make up their own mind about something or someone

anywho, if you read through this whole thing i think i owe you financial compensation. but also thank you for reading / listening / considering. even if you rolled your eyes through the whole thing like “stfu lia” that’s fine. i’m just presenting an alternative thought. i’d like to once again state: i’m not judging you if you’ve made a callout/DNI or if you’re on a callout/DNI. like i literally don’t care. and frankly, in my opinion, i shouldn’t have to. because i, and you, and your friends, and your mutuals, and your non-mutuals should be allowed the space to make up their own opinion and mind on something or someone without being told that there will be consequences if they don’t agree with you. set boundaries. communicate in healthy ways. you don’t have to forgive the people who have hurt or wronged you, but you also don’t get to decide that their actions make up 100% of who they are as a person, or decide that that is the only side of that person people should get to see.