#it feels like im drifting more apart from my body every day

[gaykneecaps]

tw vent

[minsungchronology]

My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2023)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don’t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

I feel like this is the year where they’re as blatant as they possibly get.

This year, a lot more eyebrow raising moments come about. Ironically, a lot of them completely go under the radar under more popular moments (I.e: the neck kiss) that can be explained away as normal skinship (Han has kissed other members on the neck before) or even fanservice.

LK and Han seem a lot more settled into themselves as the year progresses. However, a lot of the habits we’ve seen of them have not changed one bit. The way they act (in concerts especially) directly parallels to how they were during all of those fansigns back in 2018. They’re always goofing off together, always finding ANY kind of way to interact. Sometimes I don’t even think they realize they’re in their “own world” at times cause it seems so habitual at this point. Someone who has seen the group in person has said it’s a lot more (extreme?) if you drift off to the side and pay close attention to those two.

This year (I don’t put fan sightings or airport pics, except the Jeju one lmao) there’s been an array of fan sightings (+ a few direct stories of their hangouts) of them during their off time as well. Like in previous years, they always seem to find a way to spend time together outside of work.

Now for a moment that I haven’t seen being talked about a lot:

Apart from their concert shenanigans, I think this one is one of the most telling. It’s during the YT live they have before Lollapalooza with Seungmin and I.N – the one where LK has the zoomies. LK asks Han for his hotel room number and Han laughs because he obvs can’t give it away on live (a lot of people freaked out about this but that’s not the part that made me raise my eyebrows at all, there was nothing questionable about that imo). It’s Seungmin’s reaction, rather. As soon as LK/Han are within a closer distance and Han responds, he literally scoots up closer to the camera to block them and stays frozen for a while. I tried to think of any other reason why that happened, but nothing else seems to come to mind.

Moments that got a kick out of me:

Han stomping his feet as soon as LK strips off his coat (for him, not for the fans 😭😭😭) during Sydney day 2, as he was watching him through the big screen.

LK being V.I.P to Han’s muscles and blatantly checking him out before Han covers himself up during the one of the later dome tour concerts.

Han twirling his butt for LK (im not making this up) during the soundcheck before the second Los Angeles concert and the look LK gives him as he’s approaching. 😵‍💫

And the long-awaited moment I’ve been itching to talk about. Maniac Tour - Sydney day 1.

Hooo boy.

There’s a lot to unpack, but I don’t want to go into details at all, for good reason (I think it’s pretty clear if you watch the clips). The way they were acting throughout that concert had me speechless, like they couldn’t turn off their giddiness for one second. Take a shot every time Han’s butt gets smacked/touched in that day alone. LK getting on YT live a couple of days after and trying to explain the ~lower body workout~ they had. If you notice how nervous he was trying to explain himself- 😵‍💫

Han couldn’t even sit down prop– *gunshots*

But anyways, it’s the most sus moment between them I’ve ever seen.

And 5-Star promotions. It was a time when Han was feeling noticeably under the weather. If you watch all throughout that period, Lee Know is so attentive and watchful of him. While Han strikes me as a “words” kind of person (case in point: their 2 kids show episode, Han was doing most of the talking lmao), Lee Know comes across as an “acts of service” type of guy. You’re not really going to hear him wax poetic about the members, but you’ll see his love for them through his actions. This is so evident here. You can see how much LK cares about him; the love he has for Han has always been so obvious, since the beginning.

From what we’re able to see, LK never seems to pressure (or even playfully tease) Han to act a certain way. He lets him be, all while being super attentive and being playful/funny as a way to make him feel better.

Also, Han being the one to write and share “Want So Bad” (+ the times during the tour where he pointed at LK when fans would show him husband/boyfriend/girlfriend posters; I wasn't able to find the footage paired w/ the posters of those moments unfortunately) makes all of this so bittersweet. Especially when you look back at his reactions towards LK in 2018 with anything “flirty” or potentially anything that toes the platonic line (i.e: the feelings discussion in the 1st 2KR). Having that little insight really pieces a lot of things together, especially when you go back and watch their moments from previous years. Again, they've come so far. 😭😭

My personal opinion:

I believe this is the year they want us to know, or rather the fans who have long suspected something going on between them.

Here, they’re at their 5th year of being idols (almost 6 years as a group). At this point, they know just how much they can get away with. The act of shipping is pretty ubiquitous amongst different groups because of the conditions we see them in (members are in constant close proximity with each other and we constantly see them interact). Which makes it easy for fans to partake in the act of shipping. These guys have been shipped with each other (and with other members!) for years now.

Skinship, Shipping, and “Bromance” isn’t exactly discouraged at all either. There’s a long history of fans shipping idols together, within and outside of their groups. Fanservice surrounding this is also widespread. I’ve followed enough groups over the years to notice certain/similar patterns amongst the shipping side of the fanbase and the idols concerned.

Which is where Minsung come in.

A few of the things they do (or the group as a whole, rather) can be passed off as just that (some of the 'ments at the Japan DOME concert tour come to mind), but a lot of things we’ve seen over the years cannot be explained away with FS or even SKZ-typical skinship and flirting. The “slip-ups” (I.e: Sydney day 1 lmfao) and the consistent patterns of their behavior I’ve compiled throughout these videos (I.e: LKs behavior in 2018, 2022, and 2023, especially) are at the tip of the iceberg.

There’s the “you’re my boyfriend, too” moment. The reason why I believe it made the final cut in the vlog was because it’s directly quoted from a show (also telling of how clever LK is). A moment like this could easily be written off as FS, however, it’s their reactions to it all that make me believe it’s legitimately a safe but clever way of saying something (before the more blatant Want So Bad was even written). As soon as LK jokingly says that his Gimpo friend is his boyfriend, he looks straight at Han and says “right?”, as if trying to egg on a reaction from him. Han visibly looks taken aback, like he was almost about to choke on his food, probably not expecting LK at all to say anything like that. But Han (probably also familiar with that quote) says “What about me?”. And LK responds accordingly.

Also, Felix/Changbin did a SKZ record love duet a couple of years back. Chan also suggested Felix do one with him during a (2KR?) episode. He recently released one with I.N too. It’s not exactly foreign to them.

Artists of the opposite sex collab on love songs/duets all the time. But I obviously don’t think any of the other members are more than platonic in any way shape or form because they don’t have consistent actual eyebrow raising moments that can’t be explained away with SKZ’s usual brand of jokey and/or playful flirting (i.e: CB/HJ’s dynamic), their no-boundary skinship, or run-of-the-mill fanservice that’s not unusual in the industry.

Opinions on the 2 Kids Show Episode (cause someone asked me about it and I thought it would be appropriate to add it onto here):

FIRST THINGS FIRST…

I am shocked by the near lack of teasing from Changbin. I thought he was going to go all the way with the teasing (in a similar fashion LK did with Felix and CB). He did get a few couple of things in though (Like how Han said he was too tired to go back to his dorm after he hung out with LK even though they live a floor apart) and CB being like “ooooh wow that’s a creative excuse”.

I’m also surprised, but not surprised by the vague description of “Want So Bad” from Han. First, during his Q&A on bubble, and then during the 2KS episode. To me, that speaks volumes. Especially when you compare it with how Han normally speaks about his work and with how other members (who also did love songs) spoke about their own duets. 

And them saying certain things about their bond, but then kind of contradicting themselves minutes later is interesting??? A lot of things were kept vague-ish throughout the episode - compare with Felix/Changbin being more open/specific about their friendship and joking about certain things like the pre debut kiss vs Minsung being more lowkey-ish.

If Minsung just released “Want So Bad” without doing much of anything questionable, then I would honestly believe they are just friends because, again, love duets aren’t exactly foreign to the group.

But take all of the genuinely eyebrow raising moments + the love song (and its more specific lyrics, i.e: the cosmos flower mention; get closer I'm not playing around) + the near lack of/vaguer discussion compared to other SKZ records/try to compare their "discussion" to I.N/Chan's and Felix/Changbin's + Han specifically saying as he went over the lyrics he was reminded of LK. It paints a pretty damning picture IMO.

Which is why I believe they’re using whatever they have within their means (the pervasive shipping culture, the industry’s familiarity with fanservice, other things that overlap with what other members have done/said in the past like the the duets, etc.) to say as much as they can possibly say without damaging their careers and possibly the careers of the people surrounding them.

[trancylovecraft]

(BLUE EXORCIST) YANDERE LUCIFER: Headcannons

(BLUE EXORCIST SEASON THREE IS OCMIJNG JAND OMG IM SO EXCITED ITS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE MANGA ALONG WITH KNY OMG OMG) (If you haven't seen the anime or have seen the anime and dropped it, READ THE MANGA THE ANIME DID IT SO SO DIRTY) (IN CELEBRATION AND THE FACT IM VERY SICK RN AND IT REMINDED ME OF HIM, HAVE THIS)

• Okay. Lucifer, King of light. This is probably the worst yandere in aoex you could get (apart from Mephisto but that’s for another time.)

• Possessive, Overprotective, delusional and manipulative TO THE MAX. Lucifer’s a narcissistic monster so you can see how this goes.

• Possessive in the way he just won’t let you go. He views you as his and nothing more. There’s no debating him on this, You have no voice.

• Overprotective in the way that he does not let any harm come to you. Health check-ups every day, Padded room you’re locked in with no sharp edges. That kind of thing

• Delusional in the way he believes the two of you are somehow bound by fate. He may be scarily intelligent but that does not make him sane in the least.

• And manipulative in the way.. Well, Come on. He’s a glorified cult leader. Lucifer controls every aspect of your life from your clothes to your schedule. All so he can display the image he wants you to see.

• I’m going to go with a Romantic route on this one. I’ll do platonic later if anyone wants it.

• Lucifer at first is shocked. Demon’s don’t feel emotions, Not the way humans do anyways. But his heart beats when he sees you. He’s confused at first, Believing it to be an ailment or illness

• However after a while he comes to terms with it, A shocking realisation. One that amazes him deeply.

• Even though love is a laughable matter for demons, Lucifer doesn’t deny it. He believes that you’re an exception and no matter what his siblings or Homare says, It wont deter him

• Being the egoist he is, He believes you must feel the same way. No matter how much you fight or argue he knows you’re just playing hard to get.

• How it started I can see it happen two ways. One, You’re a recruit in the Illuminati and you somehow catch his eye. Number two, You’re a member of the True Cross Order and you catch his attention.

• If you’re in the Illuminati then that just makes it easier for him. Lucifer is the commander in chief and their idolized leader. You and your colleagues practically worship him. (Rose tinted glasses)

• So it’s a breeze for him to get close to you. Suddenly your assigned as his personal guard or caretaker, Suddenly he requests more time off the clock with you.

• You see it as a blessing, The commander in chief wants more time with you. And from there on there really is no escape

• In the second scenario he might of seen you while spying on the order or when he was declaring war. I’m imagining him announcing his speech before his eyes lock on you from behind the mask, He pauses mid sentence to just stare before Homare coughs and breaks him out of his trance.

• He continues on but his eyes keep lingering back to you. It makes you feel uncomfortable more than you already were, This organisation was declaring war on the order and their creepy leader kept eyeing you up and down.

• I feel like Mephisto would catch on, He’d probably deduce it easily but for the sake of plot he wont here.

• When they leave, Lucifer can’t help but drift his mind off to you. He hated human beings, He envied them for their healthy bodies that they wasted doing nothing while he rots.

• And due to that and the fact that he is bedridden most of the time makes it very hard for him to do anything. Instead he relies on Shima to tell him things about you.

• You’re a teaching assistant at the academy, A middle-class exorcist with the meister of doctor and knight. The more he learned the more he felt his heart beat.

• If you have any other romantic partners or interests (even just friendships) he starts to feel another emotion. It’s not a good one, It makes him disgusted.

• Even though what he feels for you is intense and overwhelming, He will not show it at all. Cold and mechanical

• Lucifer wants to get you away from them. He doesn’t like people touching what’s his.

• After confirming this feeling isn’t illness, He has his mind set dead on you.

• Lucifer believes that you must feel the same way. This is love, Something he had never experienced before so he knows it must be mutual right?

• He has Shima gather items from you. Photo’s, Clothing and trinkets. He has them surrounding his bed.

• So when you come along with the exwires to rescue Izumo and he views you on the camera’s his heart skips a beat.

• Lucifer orders the entire staff not to lay a hand on you. If they do then they will suffer by his hand and he MEANS this.

• So when you and the exwires are separated and shoved into different rooms, There was no demon to fight you.

• You were confused. It was just a padded cell. All until a ray of light manifested on the other side of the room

• You bared your weapon. Lucifer appeared in a fresh clone body and full uniform, Wanting to look his best for finally meeting you.

• Of course you ready your weapon but its instantly dismantled by a blinding flash, Making you drop it to the ground.

• Lucifer approaches you and takes no time to proclaim his infatuation and love for you. He says it outright because of well.. He’s convinced that you feel the exact same way about him even though you only met once on really bad terms.

• Lucifer expects you to run into his arms or confess your love back. But to his shock and dismay you only scream obscenities at him, Which is a weird way of showing your love but go off I guess.

• Or not. Lucifer doesn’t like you saying that stuff. Even though he knows you don’t mean it he still takes great offense.

• Lucifer straight up offers you to join the illuminati. A pretty high position (And conveniently works close to him)  Tells you about his ideals. His goal of making a paradise, Reviving Satan and making an equal world

• You’re rightfully disgusted. You say no again and curse him out. No way are you joining some glorified cult.

• He sighs, A tad irritated as he steps closer to you. You cant do anything but back away into a corner looking terrified.

• He approaches. The distance closes and he casts a dark shadow, His eyes glowing as he looks at you.

• You’re frozen in fear as he reaches a hand out to cup your cheek. His hands are dead cold.

• “I understand your fear, But sleep well now and you’ll awaken safely in due time.” 

• He says that to you and he places a single kiss onto your lips. His are freezing similar to that of a corpses.

• You black out afterwards, Lucifer catches you in his arms as he carries you away.

• After that its the “domestic stage”

• You sleep in a room in the Dominus Liminus. It’s both warded and protected to the nines.

• You wont speak much to anyone. A few staff here or there but Homare is the one tasked with keeping you secure and safe.

• Wherever you go (If you’re allowed out) Homare will be close behind. It wont even be hidden, Saying with a cold face that she is to escort you around the place and assist you.

• But you know it’s just Lucifer keeping an eye on you.

• As soon as your on board you instantly gain the title of ‘The Commander’s Fiancée’

• Its disturbing until you find out why. Once you meet him again he explains that your days are now leading up to your marriage with him.

• He could marry you right now. But Lucifer wants to have a ceremony, An official wedding that will involve a demonic binding to him.

• You curse him out again and try to attack him in his bed. But the Lundström pull you back escort you to your cell. Lucifer calling out your praises as you go.

• You’re fed the highest class food. It doesn’t matter what you prefer since Lucifer claims “You deserve the best”

• You also get a lot of gifts like clothing and furniture. Nothing dangerous or sharp though, Cant let you getting hurt.

• If you get close to anyone but him or maybe Homare he will not hesitate. He’s jealous and will order their death, Sometimes he’ll do it himself depending on the situation.

• Health check-ups daily. Human beings are fragile and if you died he doesn’t think he could go on without the one thing that numbs his pain. 

• Unfortunately enough you’re being taken care of by a greasy little doctor Geodinn. Of whom sucks up to you even though you can tell its an act

• If you do manage to escape he will go on a rampage. It’ll be the blue night pt2. He doesn’t care who he kills or what he destroys, Only calmed when your back with him.

• Besides. His siblings as well as all their lower class demons would be on high alert, Its impossible.

• He’s always in bedrest and it annoys him. He can’t spend as much time as he wants to with you and his rotting body wont let him.

• Sometimes when he misses you too much he’ll get Homare to drag you in and lie with him. He likes holding you to your displeasure, Its the only thing that takes away his constant pain

• When his body is new however he makes it count.

• He takes you out on little trips in preparation for your wedding.

• Him, Homare and a group of his most trusted men take you dress shopping. They make you try on a shit ton until Lucifer and you find the perfect one. You both must be in agreement.

• You try to escape but you are instantly caught by Homare and co. Who drag you back to a disappointed and confused Lucifer.

• He still doesn’t understand why you’d want to leave. You’re both in love, Right?

• He takes you out to the final shop. A jewellers where he alone picks out the ring. A silver ring with a diamond centrepiece (Also one that he made a demon under him possess to tell him your location at all times)

• Afterwards its basically time for your big day. His at least, Lucifer is overjoyed and excited for once in his life.

• You walk down the isle with a veil to cover your distraught and defeated face all while carrying a bouquet of white roses. It’s a massive cathedral. The entirety of the Illuminati is there along with his siblings..

• Once you reach the altar, Lucifer is standing there in his full military uniform. For once his expression doesn’t look mechanical and dead, It has life now and his eyes look at you with an organic gleam.

• Iblis, Egyn and Astaroth are standing off to the side. They’re very confused but they don’t question him.

• Iblis thinks its cute. Egyn is confused and Astaroth just got here

• Shima is near the front row and is currently on FaceTime with Mephisto, Whose hysterical and laughing to high hell at what’s happening.

• Homare is ordaining the ceremony. She says her part and then Egyn comes up with the rings as well as a contract.

• Lucifer lifts your veil. He hands you the contract with a pen and urges you to sign it.

• You have no other choice. You sign the paper while trying not to cry. The deal is done, You’re unable to leave entirely now

• He leans down and kisses you as the crowd goes wild cheering. Through the noise you can hear him say one last thing.

• “You look absolutely stunning.. Once I get a working body and once you become a demon eater.. I hope to see you like this for the rest of time..”

[reverie-verse]

Peter Parker X Reader - Falling Into His World.

Here are the other Parts. Part 2 Part 3 (I will do part 4 at some point cuz this fic is currently unfinished) Prompt: Reader quite literally falls into his world. She is his favorite character from his book and he is a favorite character from hers. She’s not sure how it happened. He’s not sure how to help but he still tries. After all, he is New York’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. On the other hand she’s from California and not from his world.

*College Peter and college reader.

*Fluff, curiosity, tension, home sick.

* I wrote this with Tasm Peter in my mind however he could literally be read for any Peter in your mind.

I also definitely didn’t check it before I posted sooooo spell check and gramma check didn’t happen.

——————————————————————

It had been a long tiring day full of work and school not to mention people finding ways to piss you off. You had gone home to your shared apartment hearing your best friends telling you that you need to get out and enjoy yourself. You gave them each a soft smile waving your hand. To be honest going out was the furthest thing from your mind. You were exhausted and just wanted to be at home lazy. Your friends didn’t push it, understanding that sometimes we all need that space. However they threatened you with a forceful night out the next time. You laughed at them shooing them away, locking the door. Weirdly enough you ended up cleaning the apartment since nothing was capturing your attention and every thought was kicked in overdrive. Unfortunately no help there you decided that maybe a shower might do the trick. The hot water will relax you and it’ll all be okay. Sure enough it does the trick walking out the shower throwing on your very much oversized shirt, you pulled on your plaid sweatpants. Man did it feel like you were on clouds, that when the tiredness truly hit you.

Your bed looked ten times more comfy the longer you stared at it. An early night so what you deserved the rest and no one can tell you not to do it right? Turning out the light you crawled onto your bed, the night sky illuminated your room. You just got comfortable in your bed, in the right position and the blankets felt amazing. Only for it to be ruined by your neighbors playing a game of how loud they can be. This was a perfect opportunity to grab your headphones, connecting them to your phone. You scrolled through your music finding your favorite playlist, No noise could be heard, only the beautiful harmonies and melodies that surrounded your senses. Shutting your eyes allowed your mind to create scenarios that involved fictional characters in various fictional genres. You had begun to feel the slumber take over, weighing you down further into a squishy yet firm mattress. Your mind began to drift slowly as the sleepiness crept into your mind, the music lulling you to sleep. Your mind humming as the fictional character played its role.

As your mind continues wandering your body finds itself in a situation, as it joltes itself awake, in turn pulling you out of your sleep. You opened your eyes only to see yourself falling onto the ground in your sleeping position. You didn’t have time to scream as you hit the floor. “ Ouch” you winced as you sat there for a moment then you heard it. The sounds of cars honking, in the distance maybe a helicopter or two a light breeze passed through the air, the moon at its peak glowing over the city. Your eyes widened as you scrambled to get up, you were on top of building a really high one at that. You looked over the railing and down at the people below they looked like ants. “ I-I’m-I-IM ON TOP OF A BUILDING?!” You panicked as you backed away from the ledge. You looked around trying to figure out where you were. You had seen more buildings, each in different textures, bricks, glass, rustic, new, this-this was not home that much was for sure. You searched for a back door to the building hoping that maybe you could get out of this mess.

Just as you rounded the corner you rammed right into something solid in the colors of red and blue. “ Hey woah how did you get up here?” A deep voice speaks out as the red and blue colors tower over you. Your eyes slowly travel from the chest to the masked face. You take a step back. “ Oh no, hey I’m Spider-Man, I’m not gonna hurt you. Let me help you get out of here” He says as he holds his hands up showing that he meant no harm.

“ Is that what you tell all your victims?” You challenged as your hair once hanging loosely now pulled back into a low ponytail. Your hands raised to defend yourself in case he attacked.

He tilted his head to the side “ My victims? I just said I wasn’t going to hurt you-“

“ For all I know you could literally be a serial killer!” You protested.

“ Listen lady, you're barefoot and in sleep clothes, you look like you could’ve used some help that’s all I’m tryna say” He shrugged his shoulders as he sat himself on the ledge sitting there watching you through his mask. His accent had begun to stand out to you the more you listened to him speak. No no no there was no way you were in another state. No because you remember going to bed in your own bed and you sure as hell don’t sleep walk.

“ No, nooooo no no no no there’s no way that I am here in New York right now. Nooooo absolutely not.” You shook your head waving your hands in the air.

“This-yeah you are in New York, If you’re at a hotel I’ll take you to it. Just tell me what the name of it is” He bargains seeing that you were only stressing more.

“ I-I'm not staying at a hotel! I’ve never been to New York, I’m from California! I never left California, I was sleeping in my bed in California five seconds ago!” You now were rubbing your forehead pacing back and forth. Standing up off the ledge the masked man walked towards you.

“ California? That’s all the way on the west coast-“

“ Yeah I know that and my California ass will kick yours if you don’t back up!” You threatened again holding your hands up. It hadn’t fully registered that you were standing in front of Spider-Man. Noooooo. You froze.

“ I’m not gonna stay much longer so either you let me take you to a hotel or hospital. If you want me to just set you down the sidewalk I can do that but I’m not letting you stay up here especially with no shoes on. Or socks.” He moved towards you anyways ignoring your threat ready to grab you and swing.

“ Your Spider-Man” You say speaking more to yourself than him. It hit you in the damn face like a semi truck. You dork how you did not catch on the first time. Oh figures you were freaking out.

“ Yes I am. Hospital it is-“ He bends down ready to carry you in his arms. You hold your hand out to stop him forcing him to wait. At this point in time you had begun to notice him becoming irritated. You needed him to believe you,

“ Wait wait wait. Uuh-I-umm I’m sorry for threatening you and not realizing who you are. But I am not from here-“

“ I know that but first I think you need to see a doctor-“

“ Uh no no no. Listen to me I know who you are-“ Spider-Man huffed, reaching down wrapping an arm around your waist pulling you closer to him.

“ I’m going to travel? Swing? It doesn’t matter the point is I’m going to get you to the hospital-“

“ PETER?!” You shouted, capturing his attention he freezes his arm still wrapped around your waist.

“ How do you know my name?” he questions pulling away from you. He was debating on pulling his mask off but at what cost. He’s never seen you before he’s never met anyone who knows about his existence besides his friend Gwen and Flash. He shook his head, backing up for a second giving some space in between each other. You watched him with curious eyes, you could tell that he had no idea what to do. He was hesitant and unsure. This was a moment you didn’t think you’d be in ever. You landed into his world. The character which you dreamed of reading about even. Peter reached for his mask, lifting it up revealing his face to you. His brown eyes squinted at you with a questioning look. He didn’t trust you, he wasn’t sure how you knew him considering he had never met you. Somehow some way he did feel oddly familiar. How could anyone in that moment? He watched you as you watched him. You both weren’t sure how to go about this-it was kind of awkward. Did he have a stalker? There was no way he had a stalker, absolutely not he made sure his tracks were covered. He crossed his arms waiting for an explanation from you. You on the other hand weren’t sure how to tell the man in front of you that he was another version of someone else you knew.

“ Right-right, right, uh this is going to sound very weird I understand that. No I’m not a stalker cuz I feel like you-you get that vibe-it’s not. Umm you-you I read a um graphic novel on a character such as yourself….” You trailed off moving back a step giving him an awkward smile. Peter had no reason to believe you but given the many circumstances where reality has proved him wrong it seemed rational. Peter stood there gazing at you trying to figure out what had drawn out the easy flow of conversation. You reminded him of someone.

“ Since we are on a first name basis what’s yours?” He asked hoping this doesn’t bite him in the ass later. You were taken back for a second. You cleared your throat trying to think of a way to answer it, sure it was easy to give him your first and last name but at the same time this was your favorite character. Who is like an equivalent to a celebrity.

You stuttered “ U-U-uh-I-I- my name is um Y/N L/N”

His eyebrows raised as heard the sound of your name leave his lips. He had to think for a moment, there could be no possible way for you to be here. You were fiction, you were a character in his favorite book. You can’t be here, that's impossible. Peter placed his hand over his mouth, turning away from you. He needed a second to process. Why hadn’t he picked up on it before. Of course it didn’t register that you were a character in a fictional book not a graphic novel. His book left much to his imagination where yours left no room for it. It had a detailed version of himself.

“ That’s impossible” he replied shaking his head before turning to look at you.

“ Impossible?” You crossed your arms rubbing them to keep yourself warm. Your bare feet were starting to get cold as the wind picked up just a tad. You wanted to continue this conversation but you were not about to continue this outside. “ Look, can we go somewhere and finish this conversation? I’m getting cold” You whispered. Peter really looked at you, noticing your body shivering he sighed. He was too caught up in the moment.

“I know where we can go” He tells you as he reaches for you pulling to him. “ Hang on tight”.

You look at him unsure. You truly were afraid of heights “Do we have to swing?”

He chuckled “ Yeah we do” he walks towards the ledge climbing on taking you along with him. You were nervous to say the least-no terrified is the appropriate word. Your heart racing, a scream jammed in your throat, fear covering every inch of your mind and body. Holding onto Peter for dear life you squeezed your eyes shut. Within that same second he jumps, you could feel the wind push against you as the two of you glided through the city. You debated on opening your eyes. He knew that as he smirked behind his mask which had put back on before swinging. He as well as you have only dreamt this moment. To be in it and to feel it was not what he had expected nor had you. To be honest neither of you did. It was exactly that a dream only this time you both had walked between plains into each other’s lives.

Peter had swung you to his apartment, the one you’ve seen countless of times in your graphic novel. Honestly it felt very surreal and unexpected. He helped you climb through his window first then he followed after. He felt kind of shy and intimidated. He only ever read about you in books. He never thought you would actually be here in front of him-raiding his sock draw. “ Sorry, Sorry, but I really need some socks. I hope you don’t mind” You rummage through his draw finding a pair of thick black socks. Shutting the draw you walk over to his bed pulling the socks on your feet. Your feet began to warm up. You sighed with relief. Peter softly smiled as he shook his head walking over to his closet. He needed to get out of his suit so he couldn’t risk the chance of anyone seeing him. Grabbing a shirt and some sweatpants he walks to the bathroom.

“ No, I don't mind.I’m gonna change, just make yourself more at home. At least wrap yourself in a blanket or something.” He tells you as he shuts the door behind him. You wrapped a blanket around yourself sitting on his bed. You were struggling to grasp the idea that you’ve somehow found yourself here. You figured that maybe you shifted as some people say but it didn’t feel like that. You felt yourself physically being planted here, you felt that fall. You felt yourself gliding as he swung; it felt all too real. You guessed that maybe you were hallucinating or maybe you had fallen into a deep sleep. You pinched your skin as you squeezed your eyes shut. Once. Twice. Three times and nothing. You opened your eyes checking to see if you made it back into your room. Nothing. You were still in Peter's apartment.

This definitely wasn’t a dream then what the hell else could it be? Peter on the other hand had no idea what to do. He pinched the bridge of his nose before throwing his t-shirt on. What is he supposed to do? The girl from a book he’s reading is sitting in his room, his apartment. He’s dealt with some pretty weird situations but this was beyond it. To a degree. Peter had gone over in his mind the last time he slept. He hadn’t slept in a few hours and he was exhausted. Maybe you were a fragment of his imagination that he conjured up in the hopes of ending his night on a peaceful one. Peter knew that wasn’t the case. He needed to figure out why you were here even if that meant putting his rest on hold. He sighed once more if need be Gwen could probably help him. In fact you were in need of clothes and shoes. Maybe she could help with that. For now it was too late to call her. You would have to settle for staying cooped up in his apartment. Not that either one of you minded.

Peter walked out of the bathroom folding his suit up, putting it in his box sliding it back into the closet. He shut the closet doors before walking next to his counter. He leaned against it, crossing his arms. His eyes drifted from the ground to your eyes. He was captivated by them. He checked your condition quickly. Looking at how you wrapped yourself up in his blankets sitting cross legged on his bed which made you look warm and inviting. He found himself drawn to it. Stop. He had to stop. He cleared his throat, needing to bring up a conversation. Thankfully you had sparked it. “ Earlier you said that it was impossible when I said my name. Why? Do you know something?” You asked as you watched him with careful eyes. You had gotten lost in his brown eyes, but you found yourself trapped in his sleepy state. He looked like he needed to be wrapped in your arms. You wanted to hold him. No you can't, you just met him. Well you read about him. Same difference. Peter nodded his head before coming up with a plan of what to say. It was an easy conversation but he couldn’t find the words. It’s not that he couldn't, he just was star struck and it took him a minute to realize that.

“ I-I-uh I’m reading this book right now and your-your the main character.” He looks around and finds a book on his desk. He walks over to it, lifting the book up and hands it to you. “ At first I was kinda thrown off with the whole California thing but then you said your name and it clicked. You're not supposed to be here. You were supposed to be at home”

You caressed the book in your hand running it along the cover. It was interesting to see a book about you in the hands of a fictional character who you happened to be their favorite character. It was too bad you didn’t have your graphic novel on Peter then you could’ve matched the unusualness of this particular second. You handed the book back to Peter. He took it from you placing it back on the desk. “ Peter what happens next in that book?” You asked, your nerves sky rocketing the way he said ‘you were supposed to be at home’ worried you.

“ You were supposed to go to work and then school but you don’t you end up staying in the next day. And your world changes-“ Peter shrugs.

“ Changes how?” You question as you mull thoughts over in your mind.

“ I don’t know. I haven’t gotten past that part yet” he replies as his gaze never leaves yours.

“ So what are we supposed to do?” You keep looking for something. You rubbed your forehead, breaking the gaze Peter was holding. This is getting nowhere. Peter moved himself away from the counter walking toward you. He got down on one of his knees. He pulled your hands gently from your face bringing them into your lap. He holds your hands there, his warmth comforting you. Your heart swoons, you had not realized how much you yearned for his touch. His heart beats a mile a minute at the touch he craved so much. He looks from your joint hands to your eyes.

He says “ We will figure it out. Together.”

[noodles-n-soba]

The one who relived a divine nature

A Scaramouche draft~

A/N: The way Im inspired after the 3.0 update guys..! I've fallen in love with Scara all over again, but, I guess we all did..

CW: Didn't proofread..

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Masterlist

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A king was born, the day his eyes fell upon you.. Were you the last one to betray him?  Were you the healer that he needed, the one who would stitch his puppet heart back together. A materialized heart, yet this puppet possessed feelings, emotions and a heart.

Curiousity flickered in your eyes, your hands holding your blanket wrapped around your body as you gazed at the guy himself.. Could he be broken and shattered in pieces? Could he still feel something? Wasn't he a mere.. Puppet? A subject of Ei, the Inazuman guardian who's eyes were only set on eternity? "Drifting away once more, (Y/n)?" You blinked, gaze meeting with his still lively ones. Years later, these sparkling eyes would change into the deepest void you had ever seen, he wouldn't be alive again.. But at your current lifestage, you did not realize any of this.

Hopping off the stone wall covered with moss, you stretched with a smile on your face. "Of course not, I was simply resting my mind, but I am fully awake." While saying so, you placed a hat on top of Scaramouche's head to protect him from the sun. Once more his eyes glittered, shining brighter than the mid day sun.. Oh, how you missed seeing those eyes years later.. Right, you recalled being appointed by the archon's themselves to protect the land of Tevyat in the Archon war, but nobody truly knew your identity. What kind of monster were you? Would they tolerate such an existence? Feared to die, betrayal would follow, a painful revelation. "Let us continue, the road ahead is open." You encouraged, nudging over to the path leading to yet another place to discover and explore. You were always there for him, trying to distract his mind from every kind of evil or sadness, but how hard it was.. The poor guy.

Often you heard the question from Scaramouche himself. "Will you, too, leave me, like all the others? Won't you grow tired of me? Who am I in your eyesight, a monster? A puppet? An emotionless individual with no heart or inner appearance?" You reassured him every single time he asked you, you would not leave his side without any valid reason. If fire would once set aflame the branches you were climbing, in no way you would simply abandon him and leave him hanging on those threads. Earning an honest smile from him every time you calmed his storm like mind made you feel at rest too, but every year that genuine smile grew less and less lively.. Barely even mumbling a word to you once you said you wouldn't leave. If you had to be honest, you were gone more frequently.. Where had you been? When would you return? Would you someday perhaps, stay away for eternity?

"(Y/n), why are you gone so often." Up till this day, you never told him.. But you realized he had probably already noticed, you weren't aging.. Just like him. A case of immortality? It might've been. You shook your head, a comforting smile forming on your face as your eyes shone once again in the sun, shining on the land of Eternity. "A few cases I need to take care of once in a while, but rest assured now.. I will be here till the sun rises. If you open your eyes, you'll see me fighting off your strongest enemies, digging a way through forests and lightening up your ways through the darkness." And with that, cupping his cheek in your hand you tried making direct eye contact.. Heart almost being torn apart seeing that the guy from a hundred years ago had changed so much, not a single smile detectable on his blank face.. Resulting in hugging him tightly, hoping to forget his face once again today. You saw nothing but your Scaramouche completely sunken to the depths of his own sea, only to never see daylight again.. Why? Betrayal? Realization? Exactly those things that he had experienced in life made him feel so done with humans in general, but did you classify as 'human' in his archive? He himself didn't even knew.. If someone had asked him that question he wouldn't even know how to answer it.

But you, oh pathetic liar, were you the last straw? You meant no ill, but your movements and actions were exactly what he expected.. Betrayal. It was nothing to be ashamed of (Y/n), he expected it. His face, oh so priceless, the menacing grin on his face as he stared at you.. No love, no friendship, no feelings to begin with! How dare you even think such a thing. From siding with him to fighting against him because you were ordered to do so, no time to talk it through.. Hah, what a coincidence? Formidable! Truly! You were the one assigned to help this puppet out of its misery, and you messed up. But even by messing up, he noticed your true intentions. Living a lie, he told himself so many times you were just like the others, easily landing a hit on you without any struggle. Were you holding back? What kind of mockery was this..? How dare you?

The smile on your face, blood covering your arms and eye, but still even so.. Telling him you'd see him soon enough, falling on the ground afterwards and laying there without any signs of life.. How dare you..!? Who did you think you were..? You.. were.. Merely.. His best friend.

After decades, he got reminded that he too could in fact cry.. He hated it, but seeing you laying there so incredibly helpless, unconsciousness and bleeding to death. His heart that had been frozen over time, a layer of stone around it, it still beaten for you. His hands made quick work, wrapping your wounds in a bandage you carried with you, making sure you were hydrated well enough, even laying your head on his lap as he observed your youthful face.

"Scaramouche.." The harmony of your voice was enough to make him shudder, trying to catch back his new defined personality, but seeing you there.. He couldn't back out anymore, he never was that new Scaramouche when you were around. "... Sorry.." Lips barely moving, your hand tried finding his', squeezing it once you had found your way to it.. ".. I know." His pride didn't dare him to apologize for hurting you, though his eyes said enough. He couldn't afford to lose his last friend, squeezing your hand he bowed down in such a way your foreheads touched. "... Don't cause too much trouble, we won't venture off for quite a long time.." Your smile always lit up his darkened soul, but returning one would take so much more effort.. He just simply couldn't anymore. ".. I knew that from the start, promises can be made.. But keeping them is an entire other thing." Making sure you were laying comfortable against the stem of a Sakura tree in the shade, he stared once more in your eyes.. You never lost hope or happiness, how did you do it? He never stopped admiring you, his respect never grew less.. How could you? One last kiss, then he'd leave.. A kiss goodbye, what did it actually meant? He didn't question it.. Neither did you. Seeing his blurry figure walk towards the horizon, feeling the stinging pain in your chest of unsatisfactory as you realized you weren't supposed to protect him anymore.. Even better, you COULDNT. Where would he go next? Nobody knew.

[glitchbirds]

currently on day 4 post-top surgery

pain was bad first couple days but has mellowed out to the point where im mostly just uncomfortable, finally. i was a bit in a rush to stop taking the prescribed percocet/oxycodone because i didnt like the side effects, and tried to switch to plain acetaminophen the same day as surgery- horrendous mistake. dont do that. in some ways i felt worse on the first day post-op than i did the day of surgery, because of that. i switched do acetaminophen yesterday afternoon and that was a much better time for it, it definitely doesnt dull the pain As well as percocet but it works well enough

the drains make me deeply paranoid and i haaate that i have to wear them two extra days because my surgeon rescheduled my post-op a week before surgery. theyve consistently only drained small amounts (and less each day) and i keep freaking out over the idea that theyre either clogged somewhere where i cant see/reach, Or that ive accidentally pulled them partially out of place when stripping them as directed

surgical binder is arguably even more annoying to me than the drains- starting on day 3 it started hiking up my chest constantly and putting unnecessary excess pressure on wherever it folded onto. and every time i readjusted it it would just slip back into the wrong place the next time i stood up or sat down. i was finally able to readjust it today in a way that it hasnt gotten messed up again, so thats a relief

for the first couple nights sleeping or even just lying down was fucking horrible. oxycodone would make me drowsy under an hour after taking it, but lying down or sitting back up from a lying down position would cause a sharp pulling feeling in my right side. i used wedge pillows and stacked more pillows on top of that, which sometimes helped but usually just made me sleep fitfully because i was on top of an uneven lumpy pile (oxycodone made that worse- i would get vivid, half-dream half-hallucination visions and sensations and drift in and out of sleep every 5-10 minutes until it wore off). the day after surgery, the first time i tried to sleep in my own bed, i woke up a few hours later to take my next dose of pain meds and the pain from prying myself out of bed was So excruciating that i spent a full half hour sitting on the edge of my bed trying to will myself to lay back down again. i eventually limped my way to the living room couch and fell asleep sitting up with my back leaning on some pillows. i still woke up once or twice an hour that night but had no pain from getting up or lying down. the next night i slept better- woke up even less-, and last night i braved my own bed again and it was nowhere near as painful as that first time… thank god for that

in general i seem to have been more awake/lucid/active than most ppl at this stage of top surgery? esp the first couple days, i spent a lot of time restlessly pacing around the hotel room (and later the apartment). obviously still doing my best to limit upper body movements and not get complacent with my slowly improving range of motion and overextend myself. at least walking around has been good for me in terms of minimizing blood clots in my legs…? and hopefully me being bad at falling asleep hasnt caused any notable issues with the healing process. hopefully.

scotty has been a little angel of a cat, he already is very gentle and avoids stepping on people (and if he does you can barely feel it). binx on the other hand, historically, loves clambering on top of my chest and he has no concept of his own weight and it hurts like hell, so ive been rebuffing his affection a lot the past few days and having to stop him from putting his paws on my chest and climbing on. which he is heartbroken about. absolutely mournful yowling in the halls

oh also my surgeon sent me a bunch of documents with instructions around what to do but the document says that i was given “nipple sparing double incision mastectomy” and the document occasionally mentions nipple care, and i assume this is just like, a generic form and they dont have a specific version of this document for ppl who opt to have nipples removed entirely, but im just gonna say rn if they left nipples on me after the surgeon and multiple other doctors+ nurses asked me directly half an hour before surgery to confirm that i did not want nipples, im going to go fucking crazy. i cant tell through the bandages if i have them or not- i don’t think i feel anything but im reluctant to poke around there too much

[disco-cola]

dudes i need to rant cause yall know this is my online diary so i honestly feel so lost my life has no direction and hasnt had any for the past years and the years just seem to fly by in the blink of an eye and with every year i get more anxious about my birthday and getting older and my lack of achievements well at least if you define achievements by university degrees and work experience which is sadly still the standard instilled in this society and if you struggle with anxiety and or depression and cant function you are worth less (or even worthless) and you constantly need to justify and excuse yourself and the future seems so dull not only bc of my era-struggling™ but because i literally have such a hard time with the vicious cycle of getting a job and being sucked even more into this exploitative capitalistic system (idk what its like where you live but where i live rents have risen beyond any realistic affordability, grocery prices too but work wages and unemployment "benefits" from the state have not and even people working full time living with a partner who is also working full time are struggling to pay their rent and pay for groceries and electricity and make ends meet and for what you would have to work even more than forty hours a week to be able to afford a decent lifestyle as of right now but people are already working and worrying themselves sick to not fall down behind into poverty and get a pension plan which again is the vicious cycle im talking about retirement age will probably get even higher but how are you supposed to even work until at least 67 years old when you already destroy your body and soul decades before that? people are burned out several decades before that and still so many old folks now have worked so hard all their lives to only get such little pension they still need to work despite being sick, or go collect bottles (in countries where you get a few cents for returning plastic bottles at least) or even beg. honestly its sick this cant be the essence of life. it keeps me up at night. i dont wanna do this. i dont want life to be like this. i used to wanna go into the music business so bad when i was like 18 and be a manager or in a band but ever since my era-struggle™ despite the fact i dont like whats mainstream today but i also dont think i could last a day in the fast pace of todays business with social media and cancel culture. i just couldnt. i barely can now from my current position and deleting all social media and getting a nokia or motorola flip phone like i had as a child or a landline phone seems more and more appealing. my old friends are moving into the big city and we are drifting apart. they work so much they dont have time. but i also realize that i am starting to exclude and seclude myself and dont crave much human contact anymore. it honestly drains me. even grocery shopping or walking my dog during daytime drains me at this point. i dont wanna move and live in a big city anymore like other people my age. my suburb is too much for me already. i have fantasies of escaping from here daily. i literally just wanna go move to a small beach or mountain village and open a dog daycare. this is literally the only thing i can see myself doing in the future that does not give me anxiety and makes me wanna run into oncoming traffic.

[stormyoceans]

damn why everything about puentalay is sad if you think about it more than for five seconds (like they literally died wtF)... I'm not same anon, hope you don't mind if I'll tell my opinion. i headcanon talay as overthinther and someone who doesn't easily trust people. so i think he needed alcohol to relax and finally try to be close with someone.. and even then he wasn't fully in the process you know. his head was still working. so i headcanon that talay didn't go all the way with his previous partners before he decided to stop and focus fully on his dream to become colourist. so (maybe it's just me liking to see how partners experience something together for the first time) puen was the first person to eat talay out. idk i like how you describe it so i think it was out of this world experience for both of them.

puen on the other hand... especially when he was inexperienced he was driven by emotions. and easily caught feelings for his costars/people he worked with. and i think he would let do anything his partner would have asked him to do. but he wasn't lucky, he wasn't on the same wavelength as his partners. they didn't let him cuddle after or even if they hugged him they didn't stay the night. so he always was alone in the morning. something like that. so for puen 'i wanted to wake up and see that someone was waiting for me' is the feeling he experienced with talay for the first time

gay talay and bi puen is canon in novel (in the novel there's scene where talay comes out to puen) <3

HEY ANON JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MARRIAGE BECAUSE YOU'VE BASICALLY READ MY MIND WITH SOME OF THOSE DETAILS!!!!!

LIKE!!!!! PUEN BEING THE FIRST PERSON TO EAT TALAY OUT IS ACTUALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE HEADCANONS!!!!! because, see, i do think talay has had some drunken one night stands in the past, but i think all of them were very... im not sure if 'performative' is the exact word im looking for ;;;;;;; what i mean is that i feel like the sex talay got out of those was always the kind that focused on getting each other off as quickly as possible, with orgasm as the goal to achieve at all costs, which isn't intrinsically bad, but in his case it never allowed him to really explore pleasure and what he might have wanted. like you said, at one point i can definitely see him just going through the motions, drifting out of his body and back into his head despite the alcohol, and that's why he eventually decided to stop. maybe this is why im so into the idea of puen taking his time to explore talay's body and taking him apart until talay is a shivering incoherent mess under him, because i like the idea of talay finally having a partner he can connect and communicate with, someone he trusts enough to let himself go and help him find out what he likes and dislikes

i also think that before meeting each other, love and sex have always been two very distinct and separate things for both puen and talay, and not necessarily because of their choice. especially in puen's case, i think he often went looking for love but only found sex. AND I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT PUEN WANTING TO WAKE UP AND SEEING SOMEONE WAITING FOR HIM UNDER THIS LIGHT AS WELL BUT NOW I AM AND IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AND I FEEL LIKE WALKING STRAIGHT INTO TRAFFIC ABOUT IT. because i can see it so well!!!! puen always waking up to an empty bed afterwards or to people leaving and asking them to stay but always getting the same answer: it's been fun but im not interested in more. this would also explain why things went so disastrously bad with talay in episode 4, because he actually fell in love with talay and didn't know how to act, his only experience with anything remotely close to romance coming from his roles as an actor and one night stands that never went anywhere. now he gets to wake up to talay lying next to him every single day of his life, though, and that's all that matters

ANYWAY I HAVE LAY'S IN MY CUPBOARD JUST SAYING

[sehodreamsthoughts]

omg i bet ur hair looks rly cute🤭🤭 it always takes some time to get used to at least for me when i cut my hair but im glad u already rly like it<333 but i understand feeling weird about it too

i love everything u wrote omg i need to keep writing about it quick tho cuz im inspired SOBS

after the whole ordeal in front of jay, heeseung and jake would maybe take u home and fuck you again there, falling asleep together in one of their beds or smth cuz i imagine they get kinda soft afterwards and want to be next to u even if they’re not cuddling… cuz i think im on the same page as u as they want to be more… im def into polyamorous things.. so jake and heeseung would be okay with sharing u as long as it’s just between the two of them🤭🤭

but then maybe jay contacts u because even though he just saw u get fucked like that.. he also saw how well u took it and he wants that for himself as well. he hasn’t stopped thinking about the way you looked while you were choking around jake’s cock or gagging on heeseung’s fingers and even if heejake kills him and its the last thing he does, he wants to fuck you.

maybe this time ur a little nervous, but ultimately u think u can do what u want (wrong), so u go and meet him, and maybe this time u do have sex, and maybe… he’s good, but even when he’s eating you out like he’s starving, and has ur thighs pressed up against ur chest, hitting every spot inside of you just right… you still feel there’s something missing. u can’t cum. maybe u scare him a little bit because u ask him to choke u, and when he does, it’s not enough and you cry and ask him to do it harder but he’s afraid he’s going to hurt you and the way you’re moaning sounds like ur in pain :( so u fake an orgasm, let him cum all over ur tummy and then you go home, feeling disappointed and ashamed because they were right… they really did ruin you for anyone else.

and maybe u end up being even needier with them for the next while, but since they’re crazy, they both know what you did and they won’t give you what u want now to punish you. you’re doing anything and everything they ask just in the hopes of them touching you like you need them to. going out of ur way to do chores, following their instructions when they tell you to finger yourself, but not cum, when they tell you to lick your own fingers clean and then they jerk off onto ur face and take pictures of you for later. you’ve said you’re sorry, what more do they want? eventually they’ll fuck you with a dildo, but it’s much smaller than either of them and you still don’t get to cum, you can’t cum! not if it’s not one of them helping you get there. and maybe, cuz they’re crazy AND toxic, they’d make u promise to be loyal to them.. to not fuck around with anyone else, ever, and to let them be romantic with u🤭🤭 and u agree of course because you can’t take anymore of this torture before realizing what you’ve agreed to.

- 🥟 anon

This is another level of perfection 😭

The minute you arrive home Jake and Heesung tug you in bed, each one on your sides making sure you're warm enough under the covers. You usually would've already sent them home, but you're so exhausted after the night out and everything they've done to you that you just let them stay there beside you, murmuring things you can't even understand because of how the second your body falls on the mattress you start drifting off.

However, the next day, when you have more energy and you see them still there in your apartment, you can't let them continue like that. Jake had softly woken you up, showing you a big smile before telling you to wash yourself, and Heesung had arrived when you had finished, taking off his shoes while signaling you to sit so you could all eat together.

For you, it was a shit show. You weren't their girlfriend, and they weren't your boyfriends. They had no reason to act like that, to take attributions like opening your door without your permission or feeding you. From the start you had been clear, even spelling that you'd only have sex, and nothing more.

You don't say anything though, only waiting for them to leave you alone so you could organize your thoughts.

That's when Jay appears again.

It's a short text from him, asking you how you are, and needing some sort of control on your life again, you answer even if you have no interest in seeing him again.

The words that keep appearing are not what you expect, "let me see you, please", a please, finally someone seems to see you like a person, and you want to feel like one again.

You don't want to feel that satisfaction when they talk to you, when they clean your mess, or when they whisper their feelings in unclear confessions, "we'll be back", "you can't leave us", "you need us", "we'll be waiting for you".

You're not, and you'll never be their little girlfriend.

The way to Jay's place is shorter than what you'd have liked. He's there, waiting for you downstairs like a gentleman, which you know is pure bullshit.

That night he had observed you like a sick man, licking his lips at the sight of you crying of overstimulation, at Jake slapping your cheek with his cock, at Heesung spitting in your mouth. You had seen it all, overwhelmed with the sensations but unable to not gaze at him sitting on a corner palming his erection because of your pain.

Pain, you want to call it like that but you know you're as fucked as he is when you clench your legs at the hope of suffering it again.

Jake and Heesung had never been so hard with you. They were brutes dressed with better clothes. The sex with them before that day had been good, but never as intense.

When Jay inserts himself you whine, not because you particularly enjoy it, but because you can't help but think it's not as big. It's not as big as theirs, his length is nothing compared to Jake's, and his girth isn't as thick as Heesung's.

Not even the way he's thrusting is enough. You need more, you need the pain, the tears, the humiliation, and Jay is too soft for you now.

A few weeks before you might've enjoyed it, that wasn't hard to guess. Jay was working for it, pushing your legs up in an angle you'd have enjoyed, with a speed that would make any other girl cum with how good he was being. But you weren't any girl anymore.

"More, please, more" you cried, pressing his hand over your throat, practically choking yourself, yet the restriction wasn't enough, you could still breath, you could still think, and that's not what you liked now.

His panicked expression said everything for him. He wouldn't be able to be as hard, crude and brute as Jake and Heesung.

You moaned loud, feigning an orgasm so he could stop looking so tortured, and you realized exactly what you were afraid to.

You needed them.

[ptolemyniaaa]

you're leaving today

4.22am, 18th February 2024

From the very first day we met, I would have laughed at your face if you had told me we would last one year, heck meeting each other too. I would've swore that it can only happen in my wildest dream. But, you had proved me wrong. You had showed me love in colours that were far beyond what i normally see; a splash of yellow that highlights a specific memory in my pale mundane mind.

The moment I saw you walked through the arrival gate, my heart dropped. Flustered, embarrassed, and swooned. I felt like a teenager that has yet to move on from her crush. You were the perfect height, though i have feared you would be much taller and be seen like a mere child next to you. Your voice was as symphonic as the early morning chirpings of a bird i would usually recall on my way to college. A sense of regularity came to me as i heard it, telling me it is not as different as what im used to. However, your presence now could be felt physically. I wish i could've express myself better. My immune system had failed me once they decided two days before your arrival was the perfect day to be sick and get a sore throat. I should've not sang my heart out during karaoke too. I had prayed that my throat could heal as fast as it could... but again, my body has failed me. you had to stick to bending over to hear me whisper and get used to a hoarse voice. I hope it was able to bring you the same comfort as your voice did to me. I wished i was able to greet you with a more melodic voice. I would scream as loud as i can to tell the world i love you but a whisper was i could give, hopefully it was enough.

I became a part of you as soon as we hugged. I'm not one that likes the idea of physical touch but for some unknown reason, my body gave in to you. Maybe out of deprivation, my body had accepted your touch that it had long craved. My hands continued to desire the feeling of your skin against it, allowing the light sensation to put you at ease as much as it did for me. And lastly, my lips couldn't get enough of the heavenly taste of you. I have mentioned that i spoil you with kisses aplenty, fearing it's too much for your comfort but you embraced them, accepting my lips to interlock yours. So, how could i stop myself? I often allow myself to surrender to your lips by thinking it could compensate a years worth of withheld kisses. I cannot force myself to be far from you as if superglue had stuck us together. At that point, my nose has memorized your scent and kept it in a room my brain has made specially for you. It had caught on to me during our first hug and ever since that moment, that scent has brought me contentment in ways no other fragrance can. It has been associated with you and memories of you so much that i had to accept defeat and continue to crave it.

-My room now smells like you

Slowly yet surely, our time was running out. We had to drift away back to how it was before: apart from each other. There was a feeling of unsurety that haunted me during our last hour together. The more time i spent in your space, the more it pained me to leave yet i wanted to devour every last second i had with you. I could tell by the look etched on your face that you felt the same, but the more i analyzed it, the more i selfless i became. I think we both knew it was time to say goodbye. The realization that it was impossible to stay in each other's presence for longer became more clearer as if a fog has been cleared up. After a day of giving in, the only choice i had was to give up. I had nothing else to convince myself that it was okay to stay and i have thought to myself that this pain has to end soon before it devours me - i gave up.

Watching you enter the car and drive away pained me the most. I can no longer be in your presence. To feel and see you in front of me. I tried my damn hardest not to cry in front of you just so we wouldn't be in too much pain. It hurts to see you leave but i was strong enough to wave while you drift away from me. To say our final goodbyes before a new day awaits. As of writing this, i have come to terms with this pain. This is the first to many more to come, and it won't be the most painful feeling i have forever. As much as i crave for your company, i was joyful for the time we had spent. Nothing can ever be as valueable as the moments we had spent together and as i've mentioned prior, it's only the first to many more to come.

This experience felt surreal to me. It felt like a dream that i wish to not wake up from. The only thing that ensures me that you are real is only if you are here right now with me. I would never trade these moments for the best life has to offer because it is you. You are the best thing life has offered to me and i am more than grateful to have you by my side. I wish you to come visit me again someday sooner and vice versa. I wish to see and feel you again, to smell you again too. Words cannot express how much i love you and no action can show how much i care for you. You are simply the best of both worlds. I love you endlessly.

[ 5.55am, 18th Feb 2024 ]

[lotus-flowerz]

hello hello I love your writings so far sobs I couldn't help but do an ask myself aa (it's my first ask ever help hwkajd) could I request perhaps gn reader that flinched away from the boys by reflex? (preferably with Diluc, Kaeya and Kazuha but you can add or remove someone if you want to!) like they were hanging out and reader was lost in thoughts and suddenly when they see in the corner of their eyes how the boys raise their arm for smth reader quickly raises their arms above their own head to protect it- how would they react and how would they comfort the reader? I hope it's not too much or if you're uncomfortable with it you can ignore it if you want to whaaaa

AHHH TY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING! i actually do this too, some of my old friends would make fun of me for it, so i hope that my writing here is accurate >.<

i also added beidou in here, hope you don't mind, i just had to since she's my favorite character <3

TW!! FLINCHING, ANXIETY, PAST TRAUMA, MENTION OF DEATH AND INJURIES

SLIGHT INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS

KAEYA BACKSTORY SPOILERS

The cherry blossoms fell silently from the trees under which you and Kazuha were sitting. Those had remained unchanged since you and Kazuha were children. The beauty of the pink blossoms falling towards the green earth without a care.

It had remained the same through the vision hunt decree, through the war, through watching Tomo get killed by the shogun, through both of you getting injured during said fight. Kazuha's hand was burnt from Tomo's vision, and your body had a large scar running from your knee to the side of your neck from a stray bolt of lighting from Tomo's divine punishment. If not for Kazuha's determination to not lose another friend and Beidou and her crew caring for you, you would be dead.

These days, although you and Kazuha both carried the same trauma, he seemed to be doing leaps and bounds better than you were. Your eyes flitted to Kazuha, who was writing poetry. The only sound that could be heard was his pen gliding across the paper, filling it with his eloquent words that always seemed to flow so smoothly.

You were deep in thought, when out of the corner of your eye you spotted something coming towards your face. Instinctively, your hands flew out to shield yourself, leaving a very confused Kazuha, who was only scratching his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

"Dove.. did you think I was going to hurt you?"

You slowly lowered your arms, guilt washing over you.

"No! It's just- sometimes, when movements are too sudden.. I.. you know, I try to protect myself because uh.."

His eyes drifted to your scar, then looked up at your face, only to find it tilted to the ground. He put a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his, then kissing your forehead.

One hand snaked around your waist while the other traced lightly over your scar, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around him as well, putting a little of your weight onto him.

He kissed your lips, squeezing you tight against him.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."

"Kazuha, it's not-"

"I know it's not my fault. And I know I couldn't have prevented it. But I promise you, you're safe now."

He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you." you said, squeezing him a little tighter.

"No need to thank me. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kazuha."

You had been a part of Beidou's crew for just over a year now, after meeting her in the wharf of Liyue harbor after finally finding the courage to leave your abusive and toxic partner. You didn't have a place to stay and you were clearly distraught, so when she asked if you were okay and you immediately began to cry, she offered you to come on her ship. You trusted her, since she was the well-known captain of the Crux. After you had explained your situation, she offered you to join her crew. You agreed, and began dating her about six months after joining the Crux.

Because you had been aboard the Alcor for a year, you knew the crew was loud and prone to get drunk. You had never liked to drink, preferring to quietly sip a small glass of dandelion wine while sitting next to Beidou while she drank a few beers and talked with her crew.

It was now the one year anniversary of when you had left Liyue Harbor, and conveniently, the Alcor was anchored there for a bit for a supplies run, imports drop off, and exports pickup. While out and about with Beidou, you had seen your ex in the wharf. They were about to come and talk to you, when you had pointed them out to Beidou. Beidou had slipped her arm around your waist, glaring at your ex, who glared back and turned heel to walk away.

Now, you sipped your wine beside Beidou, deep in thought. The loud atmosphere wasn't helping your anxieties, and you couldn't get your ex's glare out of your head. You didn't even realize you were completely zoned out until Beidou raised her arm to sling it around your shoulders, after she noticed you were zoned out.

Your arms flew up to shield yourself, and you spilt wine all over the both of you. The cup clattered to the floor, but luckily no one else noticed what just happened.

Beidou's face dropped and she quickly picked up the cup, setting it back down on the table.

"Men!" she called out. "Y/n and I are turning in early tonight! Make sure you scallywags have this cleaned up by the morning!"

The crew cheered their goodnights, raising their beers to their captain and her first mate. Beidou smiled, slipped an arm around your waist, and led you back to your guys' shared quarters.

"Alright doll, what happened just now?"

She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to you, looking at you with a certain softness that made you melt.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my ex, and how we saw them earlier, and I couldn't get their glare out of my head.. and I left them exactly a year ago.. I don't know why I flinched away from yo-"

Beidou cut you off by taking both of your hands into hers.

"Y/n, don't say sorry! You know, your ex wouldn't stand a chance against even my weakest crew member. They will never hurt you again."

"I don't doubt that for a second," you said, a small smile growing on your face, "Thank you for taking me in, Beidou."

"No, the pleasure is all mine. I couldn't ask for a better first mate. You're safe now, okay?" she smiled, squeezing your hands.

You looked into her eyes for a moment before throwing your arms around her. She squeezed you back, kissing your head.

"C'mon, let's shower and get this wine off of us." she giggled.

You laughed. "Yeah, let's."

Kaeya had told you his backstory, but you never mentioned yours. You just weren't ready to talk about it. Your parents had never been great, you always walked on eggshells around everyone, and everyone was all too rough with you, emotionally and physically.

You had met Kaeya in the tavern one night, while trying to drink away what you were feeling. Kaeya had noticed how obliterated you were and let Diluc know he was taking you to stay at the Knights Headquarters, and would keep an eye on you. The rest was history, and now you and Kaeya had been dating for a little over a year.

Kaeya had told you his backstory on Monday. That same day later on, you had a run in with your parents at Blanche's, where they had yelled at you for deciding to become a Knight, and proceeded to pick you apart from your very core.

In turn, you had been drinking a little more than usual for the entire week. You seemed more withdrawn and just not fully there. And it all came to a head when you were laying in bed next to Kaeya.

He went to put his arm over you, a loving gesture, but your arms came up on instinct to shield yourself. He sighed loudly.

"You're scared of me."

"Oh Archons- I didn't mean to- no, I swear it isn't-"

"You've been acting all angry and cold ever since I told you about my roots. I thought you would be the one who didn't leave me after I told them."

"No, Kaeya- please, just let me explain!"

"I'm listening."

You began to hesitantly tell him about your parents. His face grew angrier and angrier every time you told him another thing your parents had done to you.

"I'll kill them. I had no idea that that happened though. I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's alright, Kaeya. I didn't even consider that you might think I was acting weird because of where your confession."

"I swear they'll never get near you again, alright? You're safe now. It's alright."

He pulled you into him, wrapping you up in his strong arms and putting his legs over yours, making you feel protected and safe.

"No one will hurt you, not on my watch. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kaeya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"No need for apologies, you were gonna tell me when you were ready. Now let's get some sleep, that dandelion wine I downed earlier is starting to get to me."

You giggled, burying your head further into his chest.

"Alright. Goodnight, Kaeya."

"Night, prince/ess."

You and Diluc had been dating for a few months now, you had met when he had needed to hire a new bartender, and you volunteered your mixing skills to the Angel's Share. You had caught his eye immediately, and he had asked you out on a date soon after you began your work there.

Your ex wasn't a kind person, to say the least, so you had been hesitant to say yes. You assured Diluc that this was just because your ex was unkind to you, but you had never mentioned physical harm. You hadn't wanted to worry him.

You were sitting on the couch with Diluc, his arm slung over your shoulders while you stared into the crackling flames of the fire burning before you. Diluc wasn't paying attention, as he was reading a book in his free hand.

He raised his arm up, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, but you misread this. Your arms were shielding your face in an instant, and Diluc was looking at you with a shocked and concerned face that quickly morphed to anger.

"I'm going to kill him." he growled/

You lowered your arms and looked down, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Did he hit you??"

"I, um, didn't want to worry you."

"Barbatos.. and this domestic abuser is just, what, roaming around Mondstat? No punishment for the pain he put you through?"

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to come and hurt me. I also didn't want to cause any trouble."

Diluc rubbed a hand over his face, before wrapping you in a hug.

"You're safe here, alright? I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you. I won't let anyone else hurt you either, okay?"

"Thank you.." your eyes welled up with tears, "I thought you would be upset that I didn't tell you."

"No, never. It's a hard thing to talk about. If you'd like, I have connections. We can have him arrested."

"I don't want to cause trouble.."

"You won't. He won't be able to hurt anyone else this way. But we can discuss this later. Would you care for a cup of tea?"

"That'd be nice. Thanks, Diluc."

"You're welcome, angel. Tell me if anyone hurts you again, alright? I'll protect you."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too."

[fredshufflepuff]

— anon’s request: ok so since i too am a whore for angst. how about the reader and rafe having a summer thing as a kook (maybe she goes to the pogue school but is a kook) and once she goes back to school, they drift apart and rafe gets jealous of her spending her time with the pogues. then maybe he sees her again at mid summers all dressed up and remembers he still loves her. please break my heart with this, im in need of a cry and then maybe put it back together with some fluff at the end? please

— warnings: fem!reader, brief smut (skip if uncomfortable), asshole!rafe for a good chunk of the imagine, language, angst, fluff.

— word count: 2,166

IT all started when you bumped into rafe at the country club on figure eights.

you didn’t normally hang around that area, but you were hanging out with sarah that day—which meant eventually running into her brother.

she tried to keep you away from him, just because he had no filter and didn’t think twice before voicing his opinion, but sooner or later your interaction with the boy would happen.

“oh god” sarah mumbled causing you to raise your brows, a confused frown on your face as she signaled to look behind you.

you turned around not so subtle to see rafe cameron making his way down the grassy hill, a golf club in one hand and a can of beer in the other.

“hey little sis, when were you going to introduce me to your friend here?” the boy spoke, a small grin on his face at seeing her roll her eyes.

“i wasn’t planning on it, you know—considering how you’re an ass.”

a small giggle fell from your lips as rafe turned his attention back to you, the sides of his mouth curling slightly at your reaction.

“well since she won’t introduce me, i will” he said, his figure leaning over yours which was sat on the grass.

he tossed his most likely expressive golf club to the ground to extend his hand out to you, which you hesitated to take before slowly reaching for it.

“i’m rafe cameron.”

of course you knew who he was, everyone did.

“y/n y/l/n.”

YOU thought the interaction with sarah’s older brother was in the past, not having to see him again since you weren’t planning on going back to figure eight or the club any time soon.

but when you found yourself in his bed getting the absolute daylights fucked out of you, you knew right then and there that this wasn’t a one time thing.

“fuck rafe,” you moaned loudly, your head thrown back against the pillow as your eyes fell shut from the feeling.

he slide his cock in and out of your needy hole as you whimpered from under him, his toned body pressed against yours as you jolted from each thrust.

“m’gonna cum, flood this needy little fuck hole” he spat, his hand coming down to grab your face and force you to open your eyes.

“please, rafe. please fill me up” you begged, your little moans and pleads sending the boy over the edge.

as soon as he gave you permission to cum you didn’t hold back. it felt like your entire body had shut down as your head fell to the side.

rafe sent a rough thrust into your quivering body before emptying himself inside, making sure to keep himself as close as possible in order to not let any leak out.

“fuck,” he groaned in your ear, his body pressed against your small one as your hands came up to rest in his hair, pulling on it gently as his cum filled you up.

later that night you didn’t bother sneaking back out to your place, instead rafe suggested you actually stay—running you a hot bath before ordering take out.

it surprised you really, considering how you didn’t know what you guys were.

you both agreed to only be friends with benefits when this all started, but now you didn’t know if you wanted that or not.

you wanted something more with the blue eyed boy.

“what are we?” you asked while laying in his arms, the feeling of his breath trailing down your neck giving you comfort.

“friends with benefits.”

no hesitation was found in his voice. it was quick and sudden, just like your heart breaking.

“oh.”

you didn’t talk much with rafe after that night—leaving early in the morning to avoid further interaction.

rafe didn’t suspect anything though, knowing how busy you usually get with school and home life, but after that single day turned into almost a week, he knew something wasn’t right.

usually you’d be around the house or at the country club, but it felt like you were almost avoiding him.

when school started up that’s when things really started to hit for rafe. you were not only distancing yourself from him, but now you were hanging out with the pogues.

to him you had wiggled yourself into john b’s friend group, getting closer with everyone but mostly jj, the one pogue he despised more than the others.

it was the night of midsommars and you were preparing yourself to see rafe, your nerves seeming to skyrocket every time his name was mentioned.

“ARE you feeling okay, y/n/n? you’re all jittery” kie pointed out, her eyes locking with yours through the vanity mirror as you slowly brushed through your hair.

“i’m okay, kie— really. just nervous for tonight i guess” you shrugged, your response seeming convincing enough as she nodded.

“hey slow pokes! hurry up or we’re going to be late” jj called, pounding on the door making you and kie jump.

“fucking assholes” you mumbled.

MIDSOMMARS was something you always looked forward to.

the lights, the food, the beautiful dresses and people you got to meet—which was rare considering how almost everyone there were stuck up kooks who’s only personality trait was having money.

all except rafe.

he was different towards you, a lot different it was scary.

“jj, don’t get into any more fights, k?” kie sighed, licking the pad of her thumb before dragging it across his face—getting rid of the dirt that had formed there.

he didn’t say who specifically it was with—the fight—just claiming it was with some stupid kooks who didn’t know when to stop talking.

“yeah yeah” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair before sending you both a small smile.

he picked up his tray and spun it on his finger before sending her a wink, a blush coming to kie’s face as she quickly looked away.

“soooo, you and jj....” you said, the girl’s eyes rolling as she playfully pushed you away.

“enough about me, what about you?”

“me?” you raised an eyebrow, “what about me?”

“don’t play dumb, y/n/n. i’ve seen you come back late with hickeys.”

you grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the waiters walking by and took a long sip from it, your eyebrows twisting together— “this is good, you should try it.”

kie was about to protest until the music started to kick up again, your favorite song playing making you gasp.

you quickly placed the glass on an empty table before taking her hands and pulling her towards the dance floor.

“let’s dance!”

unknown to you—rafe had been watching you ever since you stepped foot into the venue.

IT was almost one in the morning when everyone had left, you and kie sitting at one of the empty tables while you waited for jj to finish up.

you hadn’t had that much to drink, but you could say you were a little tipsy.

“ready to go?” jj asked while throwing his arms around you both, a sarcastic grunt dropping from your lips at the sudden weight.

“we were about to leave yo-”

“well, well, well...if it isn’t the golden trio” a familiar voice spat, your head snapping to the side as your eyes fell on the devil himself.

rafe cameron and his little minions.

“if it isn’t daddy’s money, dumb, and dumber” kie snapped back—referring to topper and kelce who were standing on either side of him.

“put your dog on a leash maybank before we do it ourselves” rafe threatened, only causing jj to break from your side and lunge at the boy.

“jj, stop” you said, grabbing his arm as kie yanked him back, “he wants a reaction.”

“i didn’t see you there, y/n. so quiet and small, hard to notice you.”

which was obviously a lie. rafe noticed you the second he walked into the stupid party.

“what do you want, rafe? getting bored at the country club?” you asked, your lips dropping into a fake pout.

“actually the country club is entertaining, unlike some needy bitches who can’t satisfy my needs.”

your face dropped as kie gasped beside you—jj completely unaware of what was going on but still pissed at the way rafe was speaking to you.

rafe’s face dropped slightly at the realization of what he just said, nothing but lies falling from his mouth as his eyes filled with guilt.

“fuck you.”

YOU didn’t remember much after that. just the events taking place of jj trying to throw another punch at the boys before getting dragged away by kie.

the poor girl was trying to control her hot headed friend while the other was on the verge of tears.

but you refused to cry.

in front of rafe or not, you would not let yourself cry over him.

all you remember is crashing at john b’s house and waking up with a massive headache.

your legs were draped over kie’s as the two of you slept on john b’s bed, the boys taking the couch in the living room.

light from the outside peeked through the curtains as your eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness.

your phone laid next to you on the comforter as your hands dragged it closer.

what you weren’t expecting was a shitload of texts from rafe.

rafe cameron: i’m really sorry

[sent 1:34am]

rafe cameron: y/n

[sent 1:34am]

rafe cameron: i didn’t mean anything i said

[sent 1:36am]

rafe cameron: i was drunk and wasn’t thinking

[sent 1:40am]

rafe cameron: please hear me out

[sent 1:41am]

rafe cameron: meet me at our place

[sent 1:49am]

rafe cameron: 7:30am

[sent 1:51am]

you groaned loudly while reading his texts, the need to throwup swirling in your stomach as you tossed your phone to the side.

you ran your hands over your face as you thought on what to do, biting your bottom lip in the process as you stared at the wall in front of you.

after what felt like an hour of pondering, you let yourself slip off the bed and grab your hoodie that was thrown on the floor.

you were going to see him.

‘WHAT if she doesn’t show’ rafe thought to himself as he sat in the sand, his eyes locked on the waves crashing in front of him.

he was stupid last night.

the boy made a stupid mistake that he regretted deeply.

he just needs to show you how sorry he is.

“rafe.”

his head snapped in the direction of your voice, your figure standing a few feet from his as he then quickly stood up.

he dusted off his pants before nervously making eye contact, his throat suddenly drying up as he attempted to swallow what felt like a rock.

“y/n, i’m s-so so sorry for what i said yesterday. i-i didn’t mean any of it-”

“so what? i’m supposed to forgive you?” you cut off, raising an eyebrow as his mouth fell slightly, “what if it happens again?”

“i-it won’t! i swear it won’t. i was just drunk and jealous and really fucking stupid” he blabbered on, his hands shaking as he tried to defend himself.

“jealous?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing together as he nodded his head shamefully.

“of you and that stupid pogue.”

“jj?!”

he seemed to visibly retract from your words, his eyes narrowing as he bit the inside of his cheek.

“yeah, him.”

“so you acted the way you did...because of jj?” you slowly asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he stared at you.

“i didn’t mean it, y/n...” he frowned, his face dropping slightly as you waited for him to continue, “please give me another chance, i’ll show you how sorry i am—how much you mean to me.”

it was quiet for a good minute as your thoughts swarmed your mind for a response.

“rafe...”

“y/n, please.”

another minute went by, the only sound coming from the waves crashing along the shore.

“fine.”

IT had been five months since you forgave rafe, and things were honestly going better than you had expected.

after that morning on the beach he took you out on a proper date—ending in him walking you back to your house and even stealing a kiss.

he even stopped starting fights with jj and the other pogues, wanting you to know that he was better than that.

“WHAT do you want to watch?” rafe asked while flipping through channels, one hand holding the remote while the other rested on the small of your back.

“m’not sure, you can pick.”

he hummed in response before clicking on some random channel, not really planning on watching it anyway.

he tossed the remote to the side before looking down at you, admiring your relaxed state with your arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

“you know i love you right?” he suddenly asked, his voice low and soft as he stared at you from above.

“why so gushy, rafe?” you teased, your own head angling up to see him better.

he was so beautiful.

“i’m not gushy,” he rolled his eyes, “i just wanted to remind you.”

you blushed at his words before nuzzling back into the crook of his neck, your lips kissing the delicate skin making him smile.

“i love you too, rafe.”

🏷rafe cameron taglist : @jordynsharum

a/n: could you tell i didn’t know how to end it

[lovely-angst]

the first time they meet you

a/n: im trying things out with doing three quick fics with one prompt. lmk how you like it.

genre: fluff

pairing: bakugou x reader, hawks x reader, dabi x reader

summary: the first time he sees/meets you

word count: 1.6k

08.04.21

bakugou - coffee shop

it was a long, long day of patrol for bakugou.

he had so much on his plate that day from staying late the night before to finish some reports and then having to wake up early for his daily patrol—not to mention all of the inconveniences of catching and apprehending some wannabe villains.

thankfully, he was able to get off work by the time the had begun to set. golden hues decorating the evening sky as bakugou walked back towards his apartment.

his feet were sore and ached from being on his toes all day. all bakugou wanted to do was to relax in the comfort and silence of his home.

taking a seat on a short concrete block wall, bakugou pulls the mask up over his eyes to push his bangs back, allowing the subtle breeze to cool him down as he took a small breather from his exhaustion.

he didn't have the energy to do anything.

"dynamight?" a small voice calls out before bakugou turns his head in their direction. you stood a few feet away from him timidly, but a smile on your face as you gently approached the unapproachable male.

"sorry, i'm not doing any autographs or pictures right now," he mumbled out exhaustedly, but to his surprise, you shook your head. "no, i'm not here for that," you say before taking a step back to gesture towards the cafe behind you, "i was wondering if you would like to come in and i can quickly get you something to eat and drink?"

bakugou glanced over at the empty cafe before glancing back at you and back at the cafe.

"it was a shock to see you outside the cafe and you look really exhausted. it's the least i can do for you," you continue, "you don't have to worry about fans, i'm about to close the cafe right now, so no one should be coming,"

bakugou knew that he shouldn't, but he couldn't help himself when his feet ached with every step and the tiredness was beginning to consume his body.

"fine, just this once," he answered, pushing himself up and off the concrete before following you, who beamed with happiness.

as you walked in, you held the door open for the pro hero before you stepped back out to grab the menu board before flipping the sign from 'open' to 'close', letting the door shut behind you.

"would you like some coffee? or do you prefer tea?" you question as you walk behind the counter, preparing a few things for him. bakugou sat down at one of the empty tables, glancing around at the peaceful and aesthetic atmosphere.

"tea," he states, "i'm not a big coffee person," you hum in response, "i'll get you one of our refreshing tea drinks then. i think you'll like it."

it wasn't long before you came back out with a thirst-quenching drink and a nice hearty little sandwich with it.

"i added a sandwich for you filled with healthy and light ingredients so it'll give you the energy to finish your day. i hope the drink is to your liking as well," you explain, listing out the different ingredients, "i'll be here cleaning up while you finish. take your time."

bakugou was very thankful for the sandwich if he was honest—he was starving, having skipped his lunch earlier. taking a bite of the sandwich, he noted the different textures and flavors that mixed well together. ontop of that, the drink was great by itself and even better with the sandwich.

his eyes drifted off towards you, who bobbed your head gently to the quiet background music of the cafe, moving in every which way to finish closing up your shop.

after quickly finishing off his small meal, he brought the dishes back to you and you happily accepted them, declining to accept any payment, "it's on me! you enjoying the meal is more than enough!"

"also, why not try stopping by during one of your early shifts for some coffee? relax and refuel before your long day as a hero?," you suggest with those bright eyes of yours.

bakugou couldn't help the slight lift of the corner of his lips, "i might just have to."

-

hawks - after a mission

hawks had just gotten done with a rather stressful rescue due to the many kids on the site he had to protect. thankfully he had all of his feathers and was able to use them to protect the kids while his sidekicks were busy securing the villain.

"are you kids okay?" hawks questioned as he was able to usher them into a safe corner away from the action. "i'm okay mr.hawks!"

hawks let out a small smile before patting the young child on the head. "where is miss (name)?"

hawks opened his mouth just as a soothing yet worried voice cut through the sirens and the commotion. turning around, hawks laid his eyes on you and his heart skipped a beat.

stepping aside from the kids, you ran over towards the children before kneeling down on their level to give them all hugs, checking them over for any injuries, "oh, i'm so glad you are all safe! i was so worried! are you okay? are you hurt anywhere?"

one of the little girls shook their head before pointing up at hawks, "i'm okay! mr.hawks saved us!"

turning around, you quickly stood up before giving him a very polite bow, "thank you so much, hawks! i am forever grateful!"

"no need to be so formal! i'm just doing my job," he responds with a smile, only for panic to set in when he sees the blood streaming down from your head. "miss! your head is bleeding, we need to get you checked out!"

"oh, i think this is from when I blocked the kids earlier from falling debris. i feel fine," you respond, which makes hawks worry even more.

hawks quickly calls for his sidekicks to stay with the children while he goes to get you checked up on. thankfully, there was a medical team nearby and hawks waited with you as they patched you up.

"again, thank you so much for saving my kids back there. I don't know what i would do if they had gotten hurt. you're an amazing hero." you compliment, sitting on the back of an ambulance as the medic carefully wraps your head to stop the bleeding.

"i could say the same about you," hawks starts, "you didn't hesitate to risk your life for those kids—you're the real hero. "

a shy smile forms on your lips as you look away from the very handsome man in front of you, "well, i love my kids. i'd do anything for them."

hawks couldn't help but admire you.

"i'm (name) by the way," you say, holding a hand out towards the hero. hawks smiles at you, reaching over to give your hand a firm shake.

"hawks. nice to meet you, (name)."

dabi - flower shop

dabi usually hated the rain, but today, he was thankful for it.

he had just escaped from some pro heroes and hid in a small alleyway in a quiet part of town away from any heroes. the cool droplets of water felt refreshing on his burning skin after overusing his quirk. though, he wasn't sure the injuries he sustained would heal quickly with the rain.

hearing a small bell ring, dabi quickly pressed himself up against the wall as he listened for any movement.

"ah it's raining!" a voice called out before their alarmed footsteps ran about, causing the puddles to splash every which way. suddenly, a pail of flowers fell into his view before you quickly bent down to pick them back up.

sensing someone staring, you turned and your eyes were met with his bright blue ones, causing you to squeak and fall back, "y-you scared me!" you cried before picking yourself back up and frowning at your dirtied outfit.

"hey, are you okay?" you asked as you carefully walked toward him. "you're bleeding! let me go get a medical kit," you explained before running around the corner to your flower shop.

but dabi knew better.

you were going to call the heroes on him, you only used that as an excuse to get away. standing up with all of the power he could muster, dabi limped his way down the street as far as he could—away from you.

"hey! where are you going!" you cried as dabi heard more splashes behind him, your small pitter-patters against the puddles.

turning around, dabi's eyes widened as he watched you chase after him in the rain, your hair getting wet with the rain and sticking to your face as you caught up with the male.

"let's hide from the rain over here," you say as you gently help dabi away from the rain before settling him down on a bench. "don't you know who i am?" dabi asked frustratedly, but you just continued to clean and dress his wounds. "sorry, i don't, but i can care less about that right now," you respond to dabi's surprise.

dabi watched as you carefully cleaned him up, watching the raindrops slide down your soft skin.

"that should do it," you say, standing back with a smile. dabi follows your movements, "thanks doll, but i gotta run," he responds, throwing his hood over his head.

"oh, well, stay safe then," you respond as the two of you enter back into the rain. he gives you a playful smile before vanishing from your view.

walking back to your flower shop to finish bringing your flowers back, you thought that would be the last of him. but to your surprise a few days later, tied onto the handle of your shop was a blue rose with a note attached,

'thanks for the other day, doll.

- dabi'

[muffindaddystyles]

Will mafia!h and Y/N will have babies? 🥺💓

IM SO SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS BESTIE BUT.... </3

39. " I'm not saying a goodbye."

It was raining. Skies a gloomy shade of cinereal. Harry’s sleek car came to a screeching halt infront of the vast threshold of his home -- his grin pearlish, eyes twinkling a spark as he gets out of the car not caring to close the door behind. He greets his staff and strides two steps together with a gorgeous bunch of his lovie’s favourite flowers now dewy with raindrops and his nose twitched upon sniffing the vanilla-y smell while passing the kitchen and with his beam never vanishing he leaned into the doorframe asking the people inside, “’Ave y'seen Y/N?” Only for them to shake their heads in uncertainty.

She hasn’t showed herself downstairs since morning and even though it’s very odd of her not to chirp around the mansion nobody went to knock at her door to inquire, they think she deserves privacy.

This time they should have because when Harry barged inside their room it was caliginous with curtains shut and lights dimmed to zero.

“Lovie?” His cheery voice clamoured against the walls, a sour feeling he couldn’t be aware of pinches him in throat as he bobbed his head around to look for her and it perked up when a shadow falls on his feet.

“Baby?” His smile quirked back onto his confused features and he narrowed his eyelids to take in her presence through the darkness of wardrobe, “Harry.” A shaky whisper floated towards him and before that sweet call she was falling against his chest.

“Y/N ... baby —-,” His stumped chuckle halted, his brain numbed for a moment when his fingertips brushed up her back to push her closer to him and they trembled as they collected the wetness there. His heart bleaks a stinging pain into it’s cords, his breath shuddered coldly, flowers falling sadly beside their feet and his eyes earths with tears of panic, angst and torment.

His fingertips coating in his love's thick blood.

“I –- ‘m .. you –.. you’re h-hu —- hurt,” He stammered through a whimper hand wrapping around the dagger whose half end’s stabbed into Y/N's spine, her weak frail body unresponsive though she could listen to him.

“Who did this to you! Who did this to you!?” His screams and cries startled everyone downstairs and they rushed up to see what’s happening, to be shocked by their sights of Y/N limp in Harry’s embrace.

He turned his neck to shout at them, “I need a hand t’help me!!” His eyes bloodshot and Niall his best-man scurried over to them as Harry carried Y/N and laid her on her tummy on the bed, he slips onto his knees putting his chin on the mattress to look in her hazy painful eyes -- tears caged in them but never flowing down.

“Harry ...” She mumbled grittily in agony lifting her shaky fingers to pet his face and like an affection starved kitten Harry doesn’t let her tire herself and gets closer to her himself, “Niall bring the first aid, it’s under the sink.” He commands him not letting his eyes drift from over her angelic face.

“You’re okay baby. You’re okay, I know how to stitch up knife wounds.” He sniffled sucking in a breath trying to be brave for her and she just smiled gorgeously, lips blue and cheeks draining out of her usual berry stain.

“Jesus. Harry she’s been stabbed thrice, those fuckers,” Niall’s words wavered in fear and sympathy for Y/N. He squeezed Harry’s shoulder as Harry sobbed upon hearing that, “No –-... no, no! It’s still okay yeah poppet? I’m g’na get y'alright.” He wanted to covers his eyes to block the hurting groans Y/N elicited and he cradled her soft face in his warm palms in comparison to her temperature, touching their temples to pray together.

“Harry li .. listen to —- to me,” She gasps eyes flittering over his shoulder towards Bambi and Thumper the two dogs that had gotten overly fond of her, Harry’s blurry gaze follows her enfeebled gesture for them to come near her.

They whined and howled sadly flopping beside Harry and Harry hiccupped into his elbow shaking his head when Y/N put her hand under their ears in effort to scratch them but wasn’t able to unfortunately, “Hi babies. You’re gonna look after dad after ‘m gone?” Everyone cried at that watching her soul leave their dull lives that watered colourful upon her arrival.

“Don’t say that! Don’t y'dare say that!” Harry sobbed rushing to hug her tightly, the front of his shirt loathing crimson and she hissed looping her arm against his neck when Niall pulled the dagger out from her lower spine gradually and slowly not to hurt her.

“’M so sorry baby, sorry for being the reason of y’pain.” His tears dampened her already sweaty crook of neck, “Pr – promise me t-that that you’ll have some —.. someone who lov‐-.. loves –--,” She whimpered. Her body jerked into him with a force and she pushed him weakly away to stitch her lips tenderly against his's.

“Tell me bubby. Ha—- have I loved y'enough?” She cooed into their kiss and Harry bolted his eyes shut, poisonous sobs wrecking out of his chest.

“Tell me before, I go ...” Her heartbeat started dropping insanely, her lips wobbled, toes curling with life excavating out of her, “Y'have. Y'have don’t go baby, I’m not saying a goodbye!” He cried showering her in kisses for the one last time and pets her hair, eyes closed praying she takes him with herself because he'd never recover from the pain of loosing the only person he loved more than himself, the person who made hum love himself.

“I love you ..” She whispered, her loving kind eyes locked against his’s and the pool of honey around her rims expanded, her lips parted around the gasping breaths and Harry begged and pleaded — a side of him no-one has ever witnessed as he twisted in anguish considering himself the unluckiest man on the earth for letting his lover go like this, in the worst possible way.

“I love you, I thought I’d never be capable of, y'made me worthy darling. I'll always love you baby....” He shrieked into her chest heaving her up gently to embrace her properly and even though he knew she was no more with him, he fooled himself into thinking so.

If it was possible he’d have clawed his ribs to pluck out his heart in return of hers and he felt like the sun and earth had crashed vanishing away the time spaces as he sat there crying and crying mourning the loss of his lovie that could never be healed by anything in this whole word.

He keeps on holding her, rocking back and forth as he lulls her to slumber of death.

It hurts. It hurts so bad.

His heart weeps.

His soul aches.

When rain stopped and that tranquil silence doomed over them, rage filled his every pore and vein.

He knew who did this. Harry has played dirty but he has never played unfair. It was this gang of companies who sabotaged and destructed the orphanages at the property which belonged to his mother (but the papers weren’t clear) to build restaurants and apartments there so Harry took revenge by burning acres of their illegal drug running underground factory and rebuilt the orphanages and took Y/N to one of their charity events.

She was the happiest he had ever seen her.

It’s like a gun barrel clicked in. A firecracker catching the fuse of ashe to burst everything into flames as Harry laid her with ever most tenderness and kissed her temple, her lifeless eyelids and her chapped lips.

Cleaned the streak of blood with his sleeve and didn’t wipe his tears away bashing out of the room, everyone stepped away as Niall lunged infront of him to stop him before he goes to cause damage to himself more than to them for being in such a vulnerable and weak state.

“Step away.” He growled angrily, gaze fiery and dangerous.

“No.” Niall sighed.

“I wouldn’t get her buried in sucha cold blood. She didn’t deserved this, hell nobody does.” Harry kissed his teeth together gripping at his hair ruthlessly, cheeks dry with tears, his limbs trembling, his head spinning.

“Anyone who wouldn’t follow my orders gets their kneecaps blow-off.” He grunted -- nostrils flaring and saying this he went away, snatching his guns from the console and ordered his men to find the security guards that had their duties at the main gates.

In just a day he hunted each of those monsters down like a hungry wolf and gave them such punished, tortured deaths that each one fell in Harry’s feet for his mercy but his heart was turned into a stone already because the only warmth it had there was because of one person and that person’s gone leaving him to survive in this hellhole alone while he dragged these bastards to the depths of firepits.

Once, coming back home to her. To his sunshine, to his soul and life, to his reasons of getting up every morning so he would get to spend time with her —- he broke down. Into shattered bits and pieces of remorse, guilt and sadness feeling himself so small and hurtable as he cried to himself all alone in their garden with no-one to console him where he’ll come to meet her daily.

He wants to rip his skin apart and set it on fire for his beating heart to stop, for it stop feeling.

He feels sick. Fainting, in urgency and desperation to hold his baby and never let go.

To lay down with her under the soil if that's possible.

his only reason to live.

His only beloved.

.

The wind giggles through pink leaves of cherry blossom tree, lush grass resting peacefully and Harry smiles to himself treading towards his two most favourite people in the world.

The spring being their heartiest month.

“Azalea! What y’chattering ‘bout t'mum?” He asks and nods proudly when his lil boy stands up from his cross position on the ground from beside his mother and brushes the grassy spikes from his cherry printed shorts with his little pudgy hands.

“My first day at school dada!” The four years old squeals and Harry scoops him up in his arms, kissing his cheek again amount less times, “Is that so, huh! huh!” He tickles his little bun.

Y/N was right. Isn’t she always. Harry chuckles. Even if she’s gone he still feels loved from her, she’s in the rains, in the sweaters he wears when he feels shallow, in the scent of his pillows, she’s in the vanilla smell of their favourite cupcakes – she’s in his dreams and that name of their son, Azalea.

She always wanted to name their first born Azalea, a blooming flower that happens to be a vibrant pink, a gift of spring, are floriferous in sunshine and she'd always say that Harry would be their sun.

Their ever source of happiness.

Azalea was three days old when his mother died and Harry took him home even though not sure of his own decision but something in those little eyes that matches his mommy made Harry’s heart attract towards him so much he brought him without another thought.

A home he built with Y/N. The curtains of the mansion still remains pushed back wide, flower vases on every furniture, not a day goes by when anyone doesn’t misses her and the ducklings has grown so much that Y/N would have been spinning in happiness around.

Nothing has changed, life’s fleeting for everyone except for Harry. He counts each day and night that goes without her beside him in his sleep, in the little picnics with Azalea and Niall, in the story reading at nights with his baby, in kitchen to watch the winters first rain prattling against that one window that’s old enough to carry the remains of his ancestors, she’s never there to share a noodle pot with him while he sits and eat alone, never there to patch his favourite socks back, to kiss his forehead whenever he leaves home, to call him sweet names and to laugh with him on his silly jokes, to do thumb fights, to get angry with him whenever he refuses to layer himself in cold.

Never.

Never physically. But, she’s always there in his heart, her presence lurks around him and he could feel the warmth of her wrapping around him whenever he falls asleep watching telly.

“What did y'learn today bubba?” He asks Azalea and grins cheekily when Azalea babbles, “Colours!”

“That’s fuckin’ amazin'!” At that a huge gush of breeze hits him in face a tiny branch of the tree they’re standing under falls on his head.

“Kay' kay fine! No cursing.” He squeaks in defence pouting down at the grave of his lovie and his face splits into a grin when his hair glittered up with cherry blossom leaves.

“We miss you very much,” His voice heavy and sad. He gulps chokingly and blinks away the glossiness, stroking a thumb up Azalea cheek who’s sitting in Harry’s lap.

Every evening they come to meet Y/N, the hole in his heart couldn’t fill up of her void but the soothing feeling of relief that she’s in their garden and nearer to him has lessened the grief.

“G’na meet you tomorrow, our baby’s mighty hungry.” He chuckles hearing the grumbling noises coming from Azalea’s belly.

“You’re so cheeky baby.” His eyes glimmers and he feels himself swooning into breeze, “How’s it going in heaven?” He asks airily tracing his initials beside her beautiful name engraved at the tombstone and it’s like she’s scolding him when he gets a nip on his pointy finger.

“Azalea kiss mommy a goodbye.” Harry breaks into laughter when Azalea bobs his head and almost tumbles of his daddy’s lap in the effort to reach the tombstone.

“Goodbye beautiful.” Harry whispers kissing the top of her tombstone and his heart bursts into lilacs when once again he’s showered into petal like leaves.

“I love you too, baby.” Finally he has accepted to say goodbyes.

[spookykittyboo]

Secret Valentine

Michael Myers x Reader

Warning: DUB CON, KIDNAPPING, QUESTIONABLE ACTION FROM MICHAEL FUCKING MYERS, MINOR DNI!

Why was she crying?

Wasn't it what every woman wants?

A perfect gift...

A perfect kiss...

A perfect night.

Everything have to be perfect with them. Perhaps, it was worth of their touch. It always does. I can remember when she begged me poorly, forgetting where used to stand ground. She reached out to me and hold on to the dark material of the piece that i was wearing. Pathetic.

...

She was restless at day, all i heard was her heavy breathing, with her eyes focusing on something i'd rather throw out of a window. But, when i touched her that night, slip her out easily out of her bed, she was a sleeping beauty. A peace form of a woman drifting im her own world. She's so beautiful, unconsious of all my hands all around her. It was almost a dream when i have the rare chance of running my hands all over her, with the delicate satin covering the little part of her body. I can feel every part of her as i ran my hand over her front body part. My hand was right in between her breasts, and they were warm, a place like home when i'm with her. I was in a brink of tornin the material apart, i pushed a little of her stomach lightly and just let my hand drove my fantasy wild. Imagining what it would be like if she have a bump in her, whether it's me or something that came from me. A beautiful picture of me and her.

...

And she was tied up.

Again, she was always restless, moving her body for a hope to slip out of the situation she was in. But i was in my own heaven, she looked so pretty moving her body, and ended up with rope marks all over her outer arms. Red and burning. I would lie to myself if the tears dropping from her big brown eyes didn't get me on. In fact, watching her suffer made me my own pleasure, and the tightening rope around her chest, made her breasts popped out.

How perfect was it? She didn't even know my name, she was clueless and lost. If only she understand how her fear meant more than her nod of obedience. How weak and beautiful...

Fuck! If can just go and ruin her completely on that white sheet. I could, but why ruin a perfect wave? She'll come to her on mind that i care for her. I always have.

Even when she's in that stupid bastard's arms, she's always mine.

And now, she'll always remember this day, the day everyone say as the day of love.

[may-fanfic]

A Debt 

summary: nat is the leader of one of the most deadly mobs in town but when she takes you to be her next victim, she has second thoughts.

warnings: kidnapping, mob, mentions of murder and death, mob!nat

pairing: mob!natasha x reader

rating: 18+

word count: 1,838

a/n : sorry im a whore for cliffhangers, hope you enjoy and please do tell me if you want a part 2 

((feel free to send in any request you may have))

masterlist

-------------

all you could see was black when the cloth had been tugged over your face and it muffled your screams. you could hear as the deep voices talked but you couldn’t decipher where they had been coming from. you knew that the person behind you was strong enough to keep you in place but that didn’t stop you from trying your hardest to escape but of course to no avail and quickly you had been shoved into the car, heading god knows where.

all the questions you had glowing floating around in your head had been quickly answered when you were ushered into somewhere before someone had guided you to a chair and quickly shoved you down and in a second the cloth that was covering your eyes was ripped off.

“tie her hands.” and in seconds your hands had been zip-tied to the chair. before you could even adjust your eyes to the bright lights, a girl stood in your view. it had all happened so fast, you had just wanted to go home and sleep off the day but instead you had been in some random house and had no idea what you had done wrong.

your lip quivered lightly but you tried your hardest to straighten out your expressions. “she’s a pretty one, isn’t she?” a man’s voice spoke up from behind the woman and she was quick to roll her eyes.

your eyes wandered around the neat house, there had been nothing insight for you to break free, and honestly, you hadn’t even known how you could escape this so instead you met the woman’s gaze. “hello dear.” her voice was raspy and her accent deep, despite the circumstances, it sent spines down your spine. you couldn’t find your words as tears clouded your eyes, you tried your hardest to stop them but they rolled down your cheeks freely and the woman had pouted down at you.

“darling this is nothing personal, strictly business.” you sniffled lightly, your gaze snapping down to the ground. “does she not speak?” a man’s voice snapped causing you to jump lightly. the woman sucked her teeth before yelling at him in a different language.

“why me?” your voice had come out shaky and hoarse but they were just been glad that you were talking. the woman pulled out a chair so she could sit directly in front of you, her gaze never looking hers. “your father is one of that most wealthy men out there...” she paused for a moment, trying to word her reasoning properly. “and we figured, if we had his precious daughter, he would quickly cut us a nice check.” your eyebrows knitted together, feeling yourself begin to shake. “what happens if he doesn’t?” your question had sat in the air for a while before a man from behind the woman spoke up. “you die.”

the call to your father had been short as expected and it seemed to leave everyone in shock. you hadn’t expected much from the man, he had always been selfish and when they mentioned their price. he was quick to tell them that he didn’t have that kind of money to spare and hung up the call. so now Natasha had sat in silence, her gaze fixed on the phone that was in her hand.

“so how are you gonna kill me?” your voice had come off much colder this time and it left Natasha speechless for a moment. “he has 48 hours.” the woman uttered and you let out a gentle breath, already accepting your fate.

——- ——- Natasha was the one in charge of keeping an eye on you after all she was the leader and if she was honest, she never trusted her gang much especially when it came to looking after you. she watched as you shifted uncomfortably in the wooden chair, trying to lean your head back to get any form of rest but to no avail. Natasha had never really had to wait out an entire 48 hours with one of her victims, their families had always come through and the transaction would be over 5 hours tops but now she was forced to stare at you, feeling a sense of pain for you.

she had never been as heartless as she seemed, of course, she was trained well enough not to get her feelings involved but even her chest burned at the coldness of your father. how could anyone treat their child like that? “I don’t know how you expect me to sleep here all day.” your voice had come off much more confident than before and it made the woman perked up quickly.

she pushed herself up moving to stand directly in front of you, fishing a pocket knife, you could flinch away causing Natasha to suck her teeth. “relax.” she muttered, quickly cutting the zip tie and letting your hands go free. “don’t you dare try anything,” she uttered before gripping your forearms and tugging you through the large house with her before you were pushed into a room.

the bed looked neatly made and the pillows were fresh, the room was painted white and the room reeked of fresh paint. you wondered how many other times the woman did this exact thing with other people. Natasha gave you a gentle shove towards the bed and you didn’t hesitate to take a seat, feeling the soft mattress under you.

“Thanks,” you whispered, toying with your fingers as the girl took a seat on a chair in front of the bed. she nodded quickly, the woman had not taken a proper look at you since she had met you and she secretly wished she had met you under different conditions. “are you gonna kill me?” you asked the woman lightly causing her frown to deepen. “you’ll know when we cross that bridge.”

“I’m not afraid to die,” you uttered out to the woman causing her eyes to meet yours for a moment. “I just thought it’d end differently.” you rambled watching as she cocked her head to the side. “why are you so sure you’ll die?”

“you don’t know my father.” she hadn’t known how to reply to that. there had been some sort of awkwardness in the air and Natasha wished she could just run away from it cause it made her cringe so deeply.

“no one coming to help me.” her heart burned from your statement, she needed you to stop talking before she found herself comforting you. she felt choked up, she knew if anyone knew how was feeling, she’d lose all her respect but dear god did she pity you right now and it was all her fault that you had even been put in this situation. why couldn’t she had just targeted someone else?

you took her silence as a sign that she had enough of your talking so you kicked off your shoes and settled into the soft bed, wrapping yourself in the fresh blanket.

Natasha watched as you drifted off to sleep, her thoughts had been running miles per minute. if Natasha had to kill you because of your selfish father then she would never be able to live with herself. that had been the bottom line and Natasha knew she could never do that.

Natasha felt foolish, she had never thought twice about having to kill someone so why had it been so hard for her to even imagine having to hurt you? Natasha rose from the chair, leaving you to sleep. she had been quick to make a call, feeling her heart pounding with anticipation. she knew tony would know what to do, he had always been wise. “Natasha, hey,” he spoke softly causing the girl to let out a gentle sigh.

“I need your help, tony.”

fear settled at the bottom of your heart when men rushed into the room. you had jumped awake, trying your hardest to fight off the men that had been trying to grab you but everything had seemed to die down when the man stuck a needle into your arm and in seconds your eyes fluttered closed and your body had grown leap. “just take her home.” tony let out a soft sigh before nodding slowly. “I got you, kid.”

the next time your eyes had fluttered open, you had been in the safely of your own home and your bed. it had always felt like a fever dream, you had been confused but overall you were just be relieved that it was over.

—— as much as Natasha wanted to forget that you even existed, her mind had often  raced back to you. she had wondered what you had been up to if you were okay. she found herself outside your apartment almost every night making sure you got in alright. she wanted to run up to you each time she saw you but instead, she would grip her steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles would turn white.

it had taken her a couple of weeks to musks up the courage to let herself into your apartment, it had been unlocked much to her surprise and she took a seat on one of the love seats. she knew your schedule and she knew that you should be home any minute but she still felt her heart pounding when she heard the doorknob turn and when you entered, her breath had became caught in her throat.

you hadn’t seemed shocked that she was there, it was almost as if you had been expecting her. she watched carefully as you set down your purse and keys. “your door was unlocked.” Natasha finally spoke up, gripping at the seat arms. “I know.” you muttered with a gentle laugh. “why have you been watching me?” you asked softly, crossing your arms and staring down the woman.

she couldn’t help the warm blush that appeared on her cheeks before she grinned lightly. she hadn’t even known what she could say in this situation but she had quickly gotten up from the couch, inching her way over to you. “why was your door unlocked?” she questioned, tilting her head to the side. you hummed lightly, shaking your head “I asked you first.”

“I wanted to see you.” her boldness made your cheeks turn a bright pink and Natasha quickly took notice. “and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” a sweet smile formed on her plump lips before she continued.

“why was your door unlocked?” she asked again, feeling a sense of accomplishment when you stumbled over your words, leaning against the wall  as she stepped even closer to you. “I wanted to see you too.” she hummed lightly, bringing her hand up to your cheek, caressing your cheekbone softly. Natasha leaned down to meet your lips but you quickly turned your face.

“I need you to do something for me.”