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#it is one that can take a character from just someone you have a sense of thru the text and can see them on a page
heartmaddie · 1 day
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cuddling with the haikyuu boys ! ushijima , suna , sakusa , hinata , oikawa
incl post timeskip and pre time skip , oikawa's one is a tadbit sad , gender neutral reader (except the last of ushijima headcannons where reader is pregnant but everything else is gn)
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ushijima wakatoshi °˖➴જ⁀➴‎‎‎‎ ㅤㅤㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎chronic big spoon
⋆ he loves big spooning so much ; especially after finding looking at you face to face a little bit awkward when cuddling
⋆ in the early relationship stage he didn’t touch you often, so cuddling sort of opened that gateway for him
⋆ even then, he loves feeling your head against his chest while it beats embarrassingly fast against your ears
⋆ he’s not opposed to being the little spoon, but once he’s back from practice you’d likely be asleep by then, so it’s easiest to just slide into bed from the back like so.
⋆ before he realises that you like the feeling of being squished he’s probably a bit concerned that he’s holding you too tight
⋆ post time skip he doesn’t care as much and just squeezes you tightly until you tell him to stop
⋆ he’s the sweetest, he only started cuddling for you but then continued because he fell in love with the way he could bury his nose against you while palming at your soft skin.
⋆ if you do decide to have babies then he likes running his hands against your pregnant stomach and feeling the baby kick and squirm against his large, rough hands.
⋆˙⟡ —
ushijima doesn’t necessarily convey his affection through physical touch, he’d much rather tell you how he adored you straight to your face with no miscommunication, that was just how he functioned. but while your relationship developed overtime, he would start to notice how often you’d cling onto his arm, or during movie nights at his dorm you’d tuck yourself under his bicep, so he started to worry that he wasn’t providing for you enough in a physically affectionate manner.
the first night you stayed at his dorm was when tendou was at his family home for the weekend, so he decided to invite you over for the night. your laptop’s perched on his lap and you’re laying against his hard chest, the both of you eagerly watching your favourite movie. around the halfway point, ushijima takes note of the intimacy between the two characters, how their bodies would intertwine on the soft mattress, and he yearned to embrace you like that too.
his olive eyes flicker down to your figure, how through your blue light glasses, you’d watch the film with fascination in your eyes, you’ve watched this film hundreds of times so to ushijima this long-standing attachment was quite strange. he raked his thick fingers through your hair, gently running them through each strand before catching your attention, looking up at him curiously you ask him what’s up.
“oh, nothing,” the vibrations of his thick voice ripples through the air as he pulls you a bit closer, “i’ve never held someone like that before.” he gestures to the screen. 
you smile up at him, gently closing the laptop and carefully laying it on the ground, 
“okay, we can try now!” you say happily, sliding your arms around him and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, which he’d happily return.
soon enough, ushijima found his head nestled against your ear with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, your back pressed up against his chest as he held you tight. 
“i’m quite fond of this.” he murmurs in your ear, pressing his thin lips against the skin of your neck.
he shut his eyes tight, inhaling your sweet scent while he felt himself slowly drift off to sleep, finding it a little bit easier with you curled up in his arms.
suna rintaro °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤbear hugger
⋆ even in a non-cuddling sense, suna loves wrapping his arms around you and making you feel small in his embrace
⋆ even in the early relationship stage, he’d be pulling you into his arms and pressing kisses against your neck while you giggle
⋆ and he does it everywhere, he’s a big fan of pda.
⋆ when you’re cuddling, he likes laying right on top of you with his arms wrapped around your waist, your head buried in his neck while he rubs your neck
⋆ he’s so touchy its insatiable, he’d always have his arm around your waist ready to pull you into his arms
⋆ after a long day of work all he needs is to be wrapped up in your arms, squishing against your shoulders and breathing in the accords of his favourite perfume before he’s easily knocked out for hours.
⋆ sometimes it gets so bad that you literally can’t breathe so you have to roll him off your body and he’d pout about it for a couple of days
⋆ he likes laying his head on your chest too, so he can listen to your heartbeat as it lulls him to sleep
⋆˙⟡ —
suna felt all the stress upon his shoulders, head slouched down as he attempted to type the password into the apartment door before it opens gently before him and he perks up immediately at the sight of you in your pink flannel pajamas. you’re embraced by his sweaty body, and he’s pressing kisses against your neck as he uses his foot to kick the door shut, lifting you into his toned arms and carrying you to the bedroom.
“missed you so, so much.” he murmured between pecks, his voice muffled by the warm skin of your nape.
“go have a shower rinnie, you smell like sweat.” you huff, sitting up on the bed as you tried to push him off you, he pouts before pressing a soft kiss on your cheek, standing up to strip his shirt and walk into the bathroom. in your moments of solitude, you reach for the book on your nightstand and work through it, encapsulated in each page, not even realising when rintarou exits the bathroom. 
he gently takes the book out of your hands, placing the bookmark between the pages fold and leaving it on the nightstand, pressing another kiss to your lips as he slides into the bed. 
“i missed you soo much.” rintarou mutters as he lays next to you, pulling you into his warm arms as he snuggles into your neck, “lemme lie on you, pleasee.” he begs, and you look at him with a sidelong glance.
“just wait a bit, we can cuddle like that right before we go to sleep.” you hum, looking over at him and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, making him melt into the soft mattress with a dorky smile.
“i love you.” he’d murmur, pulling you tight against his chest and capturing your lips in a soft, chaste kiss. 
“i love you too.” your voice is muffled against his lips, but he still smiles against you, nuzzling his head against your cheek while your arms move to wrap around him tight.
suna takes this as initiative to lay right on top of you, your head nestled against his chest as his arms snake around your upper torso, squeezing you tight as he knocks the wind out of your chest. he lets a deep sigh of relief escape him, holding you close as he falls into deep tranquil.
sakusa kiyoomi °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤaddicted to your warmth
⋆ he hated the idea of sleeping in the same bed as you during your early relationship stage
⋆ but a couple months into your relationship he starts getting used to your warm body wrapped up in his sheets
⋆ soon enough he’s addicted to your warmth, always recaching out for you in bed so at least one part of your bodies are touching
⋆ at first it’s more that you’d sleep back to back, so he could still soak up your warmth without being entirely in your warms
⋆ but as your relationship progresses he starts getting used to the idea of placing his hand on your face while you sleep
⋆ he faces you while you sleep so he can watch you during the late hours of the night
⋆ sakusa values his sleep, but he definitely used to be an insomniac before you started dating
⋆ having your warmth next to him helped, it lulled him to sleep with ease.
⋆ he likes draping an arm over you in the winter, on good nights he’ll pull you into his arms and lean against your neck
⋆ in the summer he’ll stay away from you though, you overheat frequently and he prefers staying cold in bed.
⋆˙⟡ —
it’s so cold.
sakusa’s shivering on his side of the bed, the thick covers of this hotel bed not keeping him warm like the ones at home do. he pulls the sleeves of his flannel shirt down, trying to cover him whole as he looks outside, the snow gracefully falling to the ground as he contemplates his misery. he looks over at your sleeping body, dressed merely in his sweatshirt and pants as you slept soundly, clutching onto your pillow tight. he’s jealous, he wants to be able to sleep so calmly like that as well, but of course the cold weather had to bar him from that.
sakusa hesitantly shifts closer to your side of the bed, and he’s temporarily shocked by the warmth which radiated off your soft body, but he shouldn’t be surprised, you were always warm to the touch. a hint of guilt hits him when he notices you stirring awake, rubbing your eyes before they flicker open to look at him.
“is something wrong, kiyoomi?” you ask, the tiredness evident in your voice as you look up at him with soft, sleepy eyes. he shook his head, gently placing his hand on your cheek and gently caressing the smooth skin, smiling softly.
“can’t sleep, it’s cold.” he explains, shifting closer to you.
“wanna try this?” you sit up and wrap your arms around his waist, letting him have the time to pull out, but instead he melts into your embrace, holding you tight as you fall onto the bed from his weight.
“thank you.” he whispers against your neck, seemingly addicted at the way your soft body would wrap around his. sakusa would lay his ear against your pulsating heart, the steady rhythm calming himself as he soaked up all the warmth you’d offer him, occasionally pawing against your soft skin as he watched you fall asleep once again.
sakusa inhales your soft scent, and he realises that he’s never held you so intimately before. he wondered if you noticed that too, but it was likely naught. his dry fingers rubbed up and down your skin, feeling every bump and crevice before he himself fell into the deepest sleep he’s ever experienced.
hinata shoyo °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤlittle spoon :p
⋆ he likes being the little spoon because it makes him feel safe in your arms
⋆ he’s a very physically affectionate boy, so when you started dating he’d always want you clinging onto his arm
⋆ he thinks you smell really nice, so when you spoon him it always rubs off on him
⋆ it’s really grounding for him when you hold him 
⋆ when you were in brazil together and he started growing a bit more, it was difficult for you to hold him as such, which how you shifted into him laying on your chest with your arms draped around his neck
⋆ he thinks you’re heaven when you run your fingers through his hair.
⋆ sometimes if you’re sitting on the couch together hinata will casually lean against your lap as you scratch his head
⋆ when you’re not laying with him, he’ll clutch his pillows really tight and pretend that it’s you
⋆ he loves sleeping in your bed because it’s a lot softer than his futon
⋆ he’s such a loverboy - always wanting to cuddle and hold you in his arms
⋆ brazil hinata likes when you squish on his biceps………..
⋆ ok but when shoyo and natsu were a bit younger natsu would curl up near him and he felt like a very proud big brother
⋆˙⟡ —
hinata shoyo smells like the sunshine.
it didn’t matter how much bergamot scented soap he’d lather onto his skin twice a day, the smell of sea salt and sand were deeply engraved into his natural musk, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. you gently run your fingers down his arm, frowning of the remnants of the sand which would scrape at him during his time at the beach. 
“sho, what did i tell you about sunscreen?” you scold, voice quiet as you rub aloe vera gel on his tanned skin which glowed pink, dead skin rolling into little balls under your fingers and you groan in mild disgust.
“i always put it on at the start of the day, i swear!” he looks back at you, obviously in pain as his eyebrows knit together, “be gentle!” he whines, wincing as the soothing cream would sting his sensitive skin.
“this is the consequences of your actions.” you mutter in response, continuing to spread the cold gel across his shoulders and back, but you comply against your words, slowing your movements and massaging the aloe vera into his skin with care.
he groans and whines, but his hand reaches yours when you finish, and he’s gently pressing his lips against yours, gel from his nose rubbing off onto yours.
“i’m so tired.” he huffs, pulling an old shirt over his head, the fabric sticking to his skin uncomfortably. “hold onto me for a bit.” you nod, shifting behind him and letting him curl his back into your chest, you take his hands and rub small circles on his palm. 
“you’re so good to me baby.” he hums, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing soft kisses against the skin. you smile against his nape, inhaling his spicy salty musk with your eyes closed, relaxed against the boys skin as you held him tight.
oikawa tooru °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤeager for your consolement
⋆ he’s also a very affectionate boy, even when you weren’t dating he’d ‘platonically’ pull you into his arms tight
⋆ so when you do confirm that you’re officially a couple, he’s more intimate in the ways that he’d hold you
⋆ his lips are glued onto your cheeks, he thinks those kisses are sweeter than the ones on your lips
⋆ when you cuddle, he’ll lay his head on your chest with his body off the side of yours
⋆ he likes feeling smaller in your embrace, even if he’s much larger
⋆ tooru likes looking up at you and telling you all about your day, letting you run your fingers through his thin strands of hair
⋆ he loves pda, because to him, you’re so gorgeous and he’s scared that someone will take you away
⋆ when you’re asleep and he’s on your chest, he likes reaching up and gently stringing your hair between his fingers
⋆ sometimes when he’s sad he likes curling up against your side as you console him
⋆ his love languages are a mix of everything, so when you’re the one being held, he’ll pull you close to his mouth so he can whisper how much you mean to him straight into your ear.
⋆ he also loves listening to music with you, so he’ll cuddle against your warmth while your record player spins in the background.
⋆ also films, he’s a big fan of watching all the films you love.
⋆˙⟡ —
he lets out sobs against the warmth of your chest, letting your arms gently cradle his head as you whisper affirmations into his ears.
“i’m so sorry.” he’d mutter repeatedly against your chest, “i’m so sorry i lost.” his tears wet the fabric of your shirt, you gently patted the expanse of his back, offering your physical affection as a means to calm him down.
"oh baby, you don't need to apologise" you hum, pressing your lips against his forehead and your nose brushes against his hair, temporarily stunning your senses with his sweet scent. but tooru felt weak, although, finding your words somewhat comforting as he’d look up at you, his eyes rimmed red and snot falling from his nose. you gently rub his cheek, pressing your lips against his scalp.
“but i lost? and i promised that i’d take everyone to nationals - and i didn’t.” his words were choked, spaced by sobs as he’d lay against your chest, your heart swelled with sorrow, chest tightening up as you witnessed tooru’s expression. even with his tear stained eyes and splotchy red face, he was more beautiful than you could’ve imagined.
“oh tooru,” you whisper against his skin, “everyone’s so proud of you regardless, if it wasn’t for your support, no one would’ve gotten here anyways.” you pull him closer to your upper body, burying your face into his hair as your fingers traced up and down his arm. “you’re a good player, and an even better captain. the sport is more than just winning, it’s like the relationships that blossom from it.” you try to explain, gently stroking his hair.
“you really think?” he asks hesitantly, letting himself be pulled closer as he shivers within your embrace.
“i know, baby, i know.”
against his red face and snotty nose, he lets out a small smile when he looks up at you, sitting up to wipe his nose with his sleeve.
“i really love you, yn.” he mutters, letting you embrace him as he cries, “i really think you’re the best thing thats ever happened to me.”
contradicting the situation, you let out a soft laugh, making him smile against the nape of your neck.
“i love you too, tooru.”
and with your arms wrapped around him tight, tooru knew that everything would be okay.
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please like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed !!!
i think i mayhaps cooked with this one
sorry i was supposed to post this like yesterday night but i got distradcted playing dress to impress
maybe i wrote hinata in for one of my moots,,, mayhaps...
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Deity! 141 AU HCs
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A/N: Just some ramblings about the 141 as deities in my poly AU
(18+ only)
Please comment and reblog!
Captain John Price
God of the East Woods, who is represented by winter. He is known for his leadership skills, analytical abilities, and good faith in his men.
As he is known for leadership skills, he is known as the god most worshiped by leaders who seek guidance in their ability to command others. He is also known for being the one sought out by outcasts who are looking for community. He’ll help you find your way, don’t you worry. You belong somewhere; we just have to find where.
Contrary to popular belief, John does not participate in assisting those who force their command over others. He believes in leading by example and earning the privilege of leadership.
 He is most closely associated with cold metal, with his altar decorated in winter wreaths, warm spices, and delicate metalwork.
Kyle Garrick
God of the North Woods, represented by Spring and water. He is courageous, knowledgeable in the social and environmental climate, and can foresee the cause and effects of many actions on the battlefield.
He is worshiped by those beginning new endeavors. As the youngest and newest god (which, how new can ancient beings really be?), myths range from his grand displays of courage to self-doubt. His stories paint imagery of humbleness and of an eager learner. To those seeking new starts, he is the perfect divine being to guide you to ask questions and be courageous in the midst of change.
Kyle, while known best for being the god of changes, is also the patron of mystics for his foreseeing abilities (and beauticians. He likes his skincare and pretty things). As the foreseeing one, he knows all the outcomes and can assist divination practitioners in seeking knowledge of the future.
Just because Kyle can help doesn’t mean he will. Many fortune-tellers have reported trickery and confusion trying to get answers from him. He likes his jokes and finds seeing humans guessing about the future amusing. Won’t they find out eventually?
 His altar is decorated with bowls of water representing spring rain and winds. As spring flowers bloom, they are also decorated upon his altar. The seed of each planted crop is represented on the altar as a blessing for a productive sowing season.
Johnny McTavish
The god of summer and of the southlands. McTavish is known for quick, fiery actions mirrored by a thunderstorm's quick turn or a wildfire's spark.
While he might have fiery emotions, the god is methodological in his delivery of quick actions. For this reason, if you need help finding passion, McTavish is the god for you. He is the patron of athletes and artisans who harness passion into practice and dedication to their craft.
The god of summer is precise! If you seek his help, be specific and think about what you need versus what you want. His help will come on his timing, but it’ll be exactly what you asked for. He finds it funny when mortals get upset by this. Usually, if he is going to be helpful to the mortals, it is on his terms and conditions, and you’ll know by a sudden splash of warmth on your skin or by the way events just so happen to align that it could only be the work of a god.
His altar is decorated with an always-lit candle. There are summer fruits in bowls and an icon of a thunderbolt descending from the sky to represent his passions.
The one they call “Ghost”
The god of the south and autumn season, mortals know the least about him. His mythology is sparse, usually featuring him as a supporting character in someone else’s myth (usually Johnny’s) with a dry sense of humor.
He is the god of the ground that is transitioning into hibernation, the god of intelligence, knowing when to take ground and when to give ground. He is the wisdom gained from remembering the bones and dust from whence you came. He is the patron of the elderly and wise, of those who understand the power of listening before speaking to the aged ideals that came before you.
Hidden by shadows of the unknown, protected by the bones of the dying, Ghost is not a death god, but he represents the bridge between mortals and the spiritual, helping those who are dying.
Ghost is not a god you call upon lightly. He will make you search your shadows, forcing you to gaze upon those fearsome things that hide in all mortal souls. If you ask to see the divine, he will show you it when you are ready. But it will not look pretty or neat or holy. It will be sacred in its raw, awesome terror, a power unleashed that mortals cannot grasp.
Ghost’s alter typically has a buck skull on it- the first buck killed of the season. Black and grey altar cloths are laid beneath the walnut bowls holding the nuts and acorns offered to the god.
Once upon a time, there were four gods. Together, they took turns helping the mortals. But what spirit connects them all, centering their efforts? Of what clear mission banner do they unite under? To whom is the focal point of life’s great mysteries? It had always been assumed human mortals as a collective to be that focal point. But the myths do not end with the death of the old. They continue and will grow with the next generations and generations next.
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kittyit · 3 days
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One thing I don't like about trans critical spaces is how they are focused on trans women being unattractive and 'cringe.' this is just my personal experience, but I have been sexually victimized by multiple trans women, most of whom passed, many of whom were skinny and beautiful and most of which had high brow tastes and no interest in anime or other cringe topics. one of these TIMs was a serial sexual assailant and I think probably attracted to underage boys, and she was also beautiful and charismatic. Meanwhile, I also know multiple trans women who are good people and don't infringe on female spaces but who are conventionally "ugly", broad-shouldered, and have masculine interests. It also seems like the only thing TIMs criticize about each other publically is being "ugly", large, or fat.
my position has consistently been for about 15 years that mocking someone's appearance is not a feminist act. it simply isn't.
mocking appearance is essentially a cruel hobby, it's primate social aggression we're using our huge brains for. it's really fun, and that's why almost everyone does it. i sometimes do it too, in private, in intimate company, and it's enjoyable. i say this to clarify that despite my position, i don't set myself apart or above from women who do it. i do it too. and it's constant in basically every subculture online. julie bindel actually posted on her facebook recently troubled about this same thing. as you said, it's so common in queer/trans circles too, the long-forgotten 2013 values of tenderqueerism fallen to the wayside. stan culture, politics, just basically everything...i really can't stress enough that in my opinion, it is a hobby
mocking appearances is not feminist or activism. it quite often is anti-feminist. it's kindergarten stuff to not judge a book by its cover. it doesn't matter what a male person looks like - he is still male and all considerations that apply to male people apply to him. i don't need to think a male person has a hideous appearance to criticize him for any of the oppressive acts he's doing. focus on appearance (or other unrelated personal attacks) often takes the sting out of a criticism of someone's character, morals or actions and makes your argument easier to dismiss. and of course the now mocked & dismissed concept that when you rip into someone's appearance, you do friendly fire to anyone around who shares those features. but of course this doesn't matter to anyone because it's 1. so fun 2. we're so used to it 3. everyone is doing it 4. so who cares? (I do. However)
i also just can't really scrape up that much finger wagging anymore at women who do spend a huge amount of time blowing off steam mocking the insane parodies that trans women present as. it's basically evil imaginative play. it's just not activism and acting like it is, as you said, is really detrimental to radical feminism being understood as a feminist way of thought that deeply affects women's lives.
as for the rest of this, have you read pronouns are rohypnol? you do not have to call a serial rapist pedophile you knew she. there is no one here but us, he cannot hear you. i encourage you to free up processing power in your mind, especially if you've survived trans male violence. calling the men who harmed you he can be a turning point in reclaiming your own sense of reality, it was for me
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la2yn0va · 2 days
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Crazed Deprivation
CW: Crazy Reader.
Character: Feixiao
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——
Feixiao had always known there was SOMETHING off with you. From the warnings and constant worries from your one close friend about your sleep schedule, to your strange tendency to sleep wherever whenever.
She didn’t think much of it at first, until she heard you laughing late at night. The laugh was nothing like the laugh she grew to love from you, rather it was…crazed. Unhinged, Insane, Creepy.
The laugh that made her shiver in fear of YOU. Her own lover. She couldn’t help it anymore, she couldn’t stand being afraid of YOU, she needed to find out what was wrong with you.
She asked your one and only friend if they had any idea what that laugh was about. They were terrified, which made her more curious and scared.
They explained what they knew about your condition. If you miss a day of sleep, your whole mind changes into something dark, crazy, inhuman.
Feixiao couldn’t believe it, what condition was that? Surely it couldn’t be true? If it was, why wasn’t it well known?
She decided to take a risk, and sent you out on a late night mission, a simple escort mission through a borisin camp and towards a remote village.
She watched you from the trees as you effortlessly finished the mission, but then once you left the vicinity your demeanor changed. Your eyes wide, a smile creeping onto your face, bloodshot lines appearing in your sclera.
She watched in disbelief, believing it was a hallucination or a trick of some kind. But then she heard that laugh, the same laugh that made her start this whole ‘experiment’
You weren’t ‘you’ anymore, she immediately knew this was someone else. Your once charming sleepiness was replaced with a fire in your eyes, fire that wanted to see chaos.
She swallowed, her mind screaming at her to stop you before you do ANYTHING, yet her heart told her it’s still you. She listened to her mind once she saw you punching a tree and laughing at the pain.
M/n?: Come out! I know you’re here somewhere!!
Feixiao’s eyes widened, suprised that ‘M/n’ could sense her. She sighed before showing herself, and surprisingly, his eyes widened with…love?
M/n?: Darling!! It’s you!!
Feixiao:…M/n?
M/n?: That’s me, dear~!
She didn’t lower her guard, this was m/n’s face. But NOT m/n. Instinctively, she dodged an attack to her face. Grabbing this impostor and slamming him onto the ground, quickly restraining him.
Imposter: Hey—!! That’s not how you treat your lover~
Feixiao: Silence! I won’t tolerate your trickery impostor! Who’re you!
Imposter:…Tsk…I’m your lover— NGH!!
She tightened her grip, not allowing any movement or smartass responses.
Impostor:…LET ME GO!! IVE BEEN IN THIS BRATS BODY FOR TO LONG TO LET HIS FUCKING MASTER TO CHAIN ME DOWN!!!
Feixiao: Answer my question!
Imposter: For a bitch with ears that reach the sky, you’re fucking deaf. IM NOT YOUR SLAVE!!
He bashed the back of his head against Feixiao’s face, making her flinch and release you for a second. He quickly tried to attack her, but she immediately stopped any movements, grabbing this imposter and slamming him against a tree, keeping his hands pinned ontop of his head.
Imposter: NGHH…!!! Ahahaha…! You know your just hurting this brats body the more your fight back. Right~?
Feixiao growled, seeing her lovers body being piloted like a meat puppet by this freak was sickening to her. She gripped harder, watching this fake wince in pain.
Feixiao: But you still get hurt. Now answer me!! WHO ARE YOU!!
Imposter: Ahahaha…!! Let me tell you something….!! I’m gonna rip those pretty fucking orbs out and— AHH!!
She began to choke him, believing if she can put this person to sleep, then the ACTUAL m/n would return to her. Her idea seemed to have merit, as the impostor was panicking and hitting her, every hit becoming weaker.
Imposter: YOU FUCKIN…. BORISIN SCUM…!!! ILL FUCKING KILL YOU….YOU MANGY DOG…!!!
He threw insults at her, yet she remained unaffected. The only sadness she felt was hitting her lovers body to save him from this scum. The imposter then smiled and began to laugh at the pain, deciding to leave some words of wisdom before IT leaves.
Imposter: Let me tell you….! When you fucking die, this brat’ll mourn…!! He won’t sleep, and I’ll return….!! And when I do…I’ll burn your precious ship….TO THE GROUND!!! AND MUTILATE….THAT PATHETIC ASSASSIN AND DOCTOR OF YOURS……!!!!
He spat out, his laughter dying out as he passed out. She let go, looking a mixed of fearful at the thought and saddened at the events.
She closed her eyes and picked you up, deciding to sleep on it.
-The End-
Sorry this ended abruptly, I got tired.
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katyspersonal · 8 hours
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Someone really said we shouldn't take Messmer's last words ( when he cursed Marika) seriously because he was demonically possessed by the abyssal serpent ijbol
I do not think that it was the case either! My impression from his phase transition was more of him finally giving into his serpentine nature, and thus, finally allowing himself to feel his true feelings!
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"Hatred that would be confined" here can mean both him hating himself (since fire is a hazard to the Erdtree, evidenced by Fire of Ruin and Destined Death, so why not his?) OR hating her for having forsaken him! Except... they are not mutually exclusive. He could have hated himself for existing as something that could inevitably bring ruin to everything she created and hated her for abandoning him!
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Like other characters in the DLC, he is aware that we've been called by Grace of Gold, her creation, to become her new Lord! Nonetheless, he decides to still disrespect what counts as her wishes, which already gives something away, at least for me. It could be that him taking Crusade beyond just vengeance, to fascism level, WAS what split them apart, and he is still convinced he knew what was better for purity and life of her Order better than her (LOOOOVE this version because it makes him even scarier). It could be jealousy, because some nobody Tarnished would get the chance to fix things for her when he tried to do the same and yet she was not "grateful". It could be that this "purpose" he took up for her feels like the only thing still connecting them, since she is not coming back. It could be many things that I can keep listing!
Yet, at the same time, he asks her forgiveness before removing the seal! So, killing someone he (correctly) believes she is awaiting is a lesser crime than removing the seal she gave to him to keep Base Serpent away? I think it is very telling that the root of how much he hates his flame is her hatred of it.
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( x ) Perhaps, by being deadset on killing everyone spurn of her grace, he sort of overcompensates for how much he hates himself for being graceless (in a way, 'shorn of light' is very blatant)... He can't fix his nature, nor can she, but he could remove her OTHER pains and grudges. He is compensating!.. like, for how much he wishes to never having been born, or something...
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Damn this got weirdly sad And a simpler interpretation is that it was just a cry of pain, because he was dying and she was not there for him. Or maybe it was the horror of feeling like he was to fall into Abyss, since he removed the seal? Not that I ever died in my life yet, but I'd imagine that thoughts and emotions upon violent death would not be very rational!
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I really want some help with Japanese description of this item, because this "but never again" feels like some sort of grudge. Like that she realised it was useless; not so much because what afflicted him was untreatable, but because she deemed him not worthy of any more chances! You see what I mean! Again, English choices of words should be taken with a grain of salt.
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Messmer also was not "possessed" by Base Serpent, he became Base Serpent! Saying you will be taken in jaws by a serpent shorn of light, he means himself! He has a habit of addressing himself in third face already, saying that you will meet death in the embrace of "Messmer's" flame, not "his" flame! There is definitely some parallel with Malenia unleashing Scarlet Rot again just to not lose to us, but whereas Scarlet Rot is confirmed to eat away at people's personality and memories (Millicent's questline), nothing said it was the case for the Base Serpent!
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(Images by Zlofsky as usual) All statues of Marika in the Lands Between are missing heads... except for one, depicting her as a mother holding a child, hidden in his chamber by a veil. I need to check it later, but in at least three cases it makes no sense to be this way: one in the Church of the Crusade where Queelign hangs out, another surrounded by his soldiers, and another in Shadow's Keep itself! UNLESS, he is the one responsible for crashing the images of her head...?
It feels like he has been very conflicted long before this dreadful moment of unleashing his serpentinge nature! He did not want to think of her because it hurt, but also still wished to be held by her again. Considering the statues, it feels like he hated her as a Goddess, but loved her as a mother. So, he hates her divine existence, her as an owner of the Erdtree, a "destined victim" of all fires, but also knows it can't be separated from her and follows her design. Perhaps, follows TOO much.
Basically it IS a reasonable assumption that upon his death, he's been feeling as though he did everything he could for her, but that was not enough for her to see beyond her fear! Worse yet: she did try to love him, but "never again"! Hatred of abandoned child is a very intense thing, but it is also not a true hatred. It is more akin to cry for being accepted, but distorted into insults, curses, pushing away and such!
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^^^ If this doesn't look like Humanity running wild manifestation of someone's own repressed self-hatred, loneliness and suffering getting unleashed I don't know what does fdhfdhs I don't know, man... I just think there is more evidence for the fact that he's been suffering because of her.
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gdn019283 · 16 hours
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Kilgharrah is a dragon that lost his entire species, watched his fellow companions get killed by Uther and by his genocidal reign, and got imprisoned and chained in a cave with no food or water for more than 20 years. He had nothing and no one, but lived through it all by sheer force and the will of revenge. He is a sentient being, with emotions, thoughts, a voice and the most powerful magic the world has ever known (even more powerful than Merlin’s, and we saw it).
Yet, I don’t understand why most people in the Merlin fandom find him the culprit of many of the choices on the show and even of the end.
His kind has been wiped off; he had revenge to think about while being imprisoned. He did not point at Arthur specifically or at Uther, just at the injustice of it all.
But still, he listened to Merlin and respected what he had ordered him to do, even after all he had endured.
People often tend to forget that Merlin is, as much as Gaius, a class traitor, and if we can explain why he is, then why can’t we explain Kilgharrah’s behaviour?
Most choices he told Merlin to make were part of his rational mind, one that had seen various parts of the future. He thought of the ones that made most sense to him and even then, Merlin defied him, so how can he be Kilgharrah’s fault that everything went to shit in the end? The dragon was tired, old, lost and maybe hopeless, but he persisted, he tried giving Merlin what he never had, what even Gaius couldn’t give him:
a space to be actually free; the joy of flying; a good friend who understood what being magic was like, because Kilgarrah is as ancient as the earth itself and magic flows through him too.
He helped Merlin so many times, told him about killing Morgana, because he knew that Merlin had already made a mistake. From then on, the future had changed shape and Kilgharrah saw it. He tried to prevent the worst, but it was Merlin who didn’t listen to him, it was him who said he didn’t want to kill a friend, it was Merlin who said that he couldn’t stand his friends’ grief, it was Merlin who commanded rather than asked Kilgharrah to gift him the power to heal Morgana, and it was actually Gaius who had told Merlin he had done the right thing by trying to kill Morgana (and this is only an example. Merlin did not kill other people when Kilgharrah told him to, so Merlin had something called free will. Every choice was made by him, and the Great Dragon has nothing to do with it).
All Merlin’s points were right, yet, for a dragon who didn’t have the tools to prevent Merlin’s mistakes and choices, he tried to warn him the best way he knew how. Most of the times it was with simple actions that went straight to the point.
If someone has to be at fault, then Merlin has to be at fault too.
I like Kilgharrah.
He is a great character, an example of what genocide can do to you, and he is so funny, so complicated and the fact that they were able to give such a good personality to a dragon warms my heart. He is a listener, he tried helping Merlin even when he couldn’t and was so happy when Aithusa was born.
He wasn’t alone anymore.
Merlin was his friend, because they were the same:
Lonely, and just that tad bit hopeful that a greater future was ahead of them.
Merlin did not fail because of Kilgharrah and to the dragon’s opinion, Merlin actually didn’t fail at all.
What I find unjust in the show isn’t really Arthur’s death. It’s the way we come to it and all the wrong things that happen in between, the non logical way Merlin’s magic worked, but what if Arthur had to die in order for Albion to have its Golden Age?
And perhaps, Kilgharrah knew, but didn’t know how to tell Merlin, much like Merlin couldn’t tell Gaius what he had seen in the Crystal Cave, because the future can take so many different shapes, and it was Merlin who ended up creating it, while he had tired to avoid it and change it, at the same time.
Kilgharrah is an amazing character and I love the shit out of him.
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scoobydoodean · 24 hours
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Honestly I think that a lot of the reason why people view dean as abusive towards jack is because they genuinely think of him as a baby/toddler and not someone with the cognitive abilities of an older teenager/young adult who just happens to not really know much about the world. Obviously there's more to it because people ignore that cas wanted to put jack in the cage and sam wanted to use his power, but I stumbled across a post the other day about how they (the writers and the characters) should've given jack a capri-sun instead of a beer because he's a "literal toddler"... which is just completely incorrect and considering he has the body and brain development of someone who's older, there's no reason to not give him a beer. (also is anyone really a dad unless they give their 3 yr old a beer /j)
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It's funny because the whole point of the beer scene is to establish that Jack is not a child and that treating him like one would be ridiculous.
[DEAN grabs and opens a bottle of beer. JACK imitates him.] DEAN Wait, wait, wait, wait. How old do you think you are? JACK 3 days, 17 hours, and 42 minutes.
(From 13.02)
When Jack proves that he has such an advanced understanding of communication and time and such an unusual awareness of exactly how much time has passed, Dean immediately realizes that treating him as if he's a baby makes absolutely no sense because he clearly isn't one. Treating him like a child would be infantilizing, and we see Jack rebel against the notion that he's a baby a few times.
There's some push I think to separate Jack's intellectual abilities from his emotional coping abilities, but even these I think are more or less on track with other young adolescents around the age he presents himself to be when controlling for traumatic experiences. Jack's initial emotional regulation abilities don't read like those of a toddler, but of a young adult who's confused and upset and has been through a lot. Without powers in the mix that he doesn't know how to control, his emotional regulation abilities seem fairly standard for boys his age (at least to me). I don't think for example, that the anger he experiences and the reasons he experiences that anger can be equated with toddler-like tantrums, and any other person whose been around a toddler and sees what kind of things make them furious knows what I mean.
Granted, there are things Jack is naive about that are probably connected to him being "born yesterday". We see this early on when Asmodeus tries to manipulate Jack into opening a hell gate. At the same time, this interaction also highlights Jack's innate sense of right and wrong as a counterbalance. I personally find it frustrating when people try to take away Jack's understanding of right and wrong (rooted in his love for others) and cast him as a baby to the extent that he isn't even capable of understanding the golden rule, when Jack shows over and over how seriously he takes the personhood of other people and the weight of their lives. This is what allows him to see through Asmodeus's trickery in a very confusing situation, simply realizing, "you're hurting my friends". Jack using his care for others as a foundation to navigate Asmoedus's trickery also serves as excellent contrast to soulless Jack in 14.19. Soulless Jack was not able to grasp that Dumah was manipulating him because he was missing this crucial piece of himself—his love for other people including strangers. Because he was lacking that part of himself at that time, he was unable to grasp that filling someone's body with worms for not wanting to be turned into an angel is horrible and cruel and couldn't be a good thing. His naivety played a role in what happened, but it was the crucial missing soul that actually allowed this situation to transpire. I think a lot of people just straight up think normal Jack also would have been manipulated into killing people for Dumah in this circumstance and I really just don't think that's true at all.
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Hihi slug, I love your work, and thanks for everything!! Since Matenro season is nearly upon us, I was wondering if we could get your opinion on the solo snippets🤞🤞
Matenro's new solo previews are SO GOOD, what do you think of them?
Thank you both for notifying me about them! Taking a look now...
(The album is probably already out now, but... better late than never...)
Jakurai's A Majestic Figure
Title note: 4-kanji compounds are like the SAT vocab words of Japanese; they're not super common in everyday speech and can evoke a literary or sophisticated feeling. This one is...interesting. To the best of my knowledge, it isn't a standard compound (I'm also not getting any hits when I Google it) and I wonder if that's significant. It's just two words strung together to make the appearance of fanciness, perhaps. I couldn't say for certain. At any rate, both 威風 and (especially) 颯爽 describe a majestic, often captivating appearance. This isn't to say that such qualities of dignity or majesty aren't real, but I definitely feel like both terms are defining a subject from an outside perspective. These aren't terms I would ever expect someone to describe themselves with, which makes the song title sound like it's an outside observer commenting on Jakurai instead of Jakurai talking about himself. We see this happen a lot in Hypmic, with people putting Jakurai on pedestals or Jakurai struggling to see himself as the same grand figure others perceive him as. As a result, I wrote the song title as "A Majestic Figure" to emphasize the appearance of majesty, whereas the character of the figure is unknown. Anyway, let's dive in and see what this is all about.
(10 seconds in) Vibing with these instrumentals
(19 seconds in) Not vibing with these "ah"s... but we can't have everything in life
(43 seconds in) I'm a little too tired to fully keep up (I'll look up the lyrics when I'm done) but I REALLY like the urgency in the delivery, which is so at odds with the flowing, dignified background music. In JPN fiction as a whole, flusteredness/desperation is contrasted with calmness as a synonym for imperfection and perfection. Jakurai is, honestly, really kind of a desperate character...yet one that appears outwardly calm/perfect to most of the rest of the cast, so it's interesting that we get to see his desperate nature on full display right at the start of the song.
(1:26 in) Hand motif mentioned *Cinemasins ding* (of
(End) Thank you uta-net for having the lyrics up already; ily. Let's see now... Interesting. I'll have to read them again in more depth later, but it looks like a call to forgive past wounds and seek out a better, less painful way of existence--in a societal sense, a religious (as in like, ascending or becoming enlightened) sense, and a personal sense. All great things to see Jakurai expressing. Again, it's interesting to see Jakurai expressing this with such urgency, even if these are things we know he really, really cares about. That coupled with the background music seems to match a bit in the lyrics that says "And [to end war within society, paraphrased] I take grand, dignified action mixed with the discord and noise of Shinjuku, a samsara spiral of cacophonous echoes." Mixing the stately and the chaotic, the "imperfect" and the "perfect." Really interesting stuff!
Hifumi's The Beginning of the Last Song
Title note: "Last Song" is English and written in katakana, which is a sharp contrast to the style of Jakurai's title. Creates a much younger and casual feel appropriate for Hifumi. Not much else to say here, so let's jump in.
(10 seconds in) Modern indie pop song on the radio feel. I'm not a fan of autotune in general so I'm not in love with this, but I'm hopeful it'll pick up soon.
(22 seconds in) I listen to so much "soft hiphop" (for lack of a better term) during work that my brain instantly catapulted itself into work mode and stopped paying any attention to the words. Coffee mug? Check. Emails? Check. Anxiety? Check. Let me rewind and listen to this properly.
(32 seconds in but for real this time) So far, very Hifumi. Opening verse has some fun figurative language but essentially says Hifumi's suit is pure courage he dons like a suit of armor. In doing so, it masks him and makes him become like a whole other person. From there, he switches to addressing a listener: "I want to soothe your mental wounds. I want to change your frown into a smile. I won't let go of your hands, and no, I'm not doing this for a reward." It's something that Hifumi should be saying to himself (something Hifumi wants to hear, maybe?) and yet he says "To [Host!]me, this is happiness."
(59 seconds in) Hmm... I was going to say this song feels sad to me, because all these positive messages of "Keep going! You're safe now!" are framed as being directed at other people, and I was like..."Hifumi, who's going to say that to you? Who's going to help you feel that way?" but then the line "You made me realize I'm not alone" radically flips the framing so that it DOES become things Hifumi is saying to himself, too. How nice. :) I would not want to translate this, personally... Haha it's using the vagueness of Japanese grammar and lyrical conventions to great effect, but I don't feel comfortable touching that personally.
(1:02) Hell yeah, belt that shit, homie
(1:32) So it's a last song in the sense that it's a farewell or the final song of his old self. Now he's the new, healing Hifumi. We love to see it 10/10 bravo. The song is also a happy, heartfelt thank you to the unspoken listeners (presumably Matenrou) who helped him feel less alone. That's cute! I like it. I probably shouldn't go here, but I find it intriguing how the vagueness of listeners is utilized. The first time the listeners are addressed, the language is...if not borderline romantic, pathos-filled to the point where it's definitely evocative of his host job (hence why he's not seeking compensation for handholding, an often romantic gesture). Yet it's borderline enough that it wouldn't be inappropriate to imagine it being addressed to Matenrou instead of his patrons. Hahaha. Again, another reason I don't want to go near this one.
(Overall) I like it! A nice ballad for Hifumi.
Doppo's Andante
(5 seconds in) For a song called Andante, this has a faster tempo than at least one other song on this album lol. But it's much less frenetic than Doppo's other solos, so there's that, I guess.
(7 seconds in) This delivery is giving me anime ending made by a 2010s rock band vibes lol.
(14 seconds in) Damn there's a baller line here that I'm stumped on how to convey in Eng in a way that's both baller and sensical. Meaning wise, it's like "I want to take back the things I shouldn't have said and give them as a present to you" and in figurative language it's like "Once, I used to fire words into the air [speak things in anger or carelessly]. Now, I want to gather them up [esp. like a bouquet of flowers] after their flight and use them to decorate you [again, like flowers or like a piece of jewelry--it's a positive connotation]" Pop off, Doppo
(40 seconds in) Oh this is killer and also going to need some major explaining. Doppo's name is literally "he who walks alone" which is usually considered a positive thing--someone who "walks the path of life" alone would have gotten there by outstripping the rest of the pack. In Doppo's case, though, this is a negative thing. I think it's not as obvious to Eng-only fans, and I know I didn't really think about it for a long time myself, but Doppo considers himself a "loser" bc he didn't follow a conventional life path. It's considered atypical to switch employers, especially very early on in one's career, as he did when he stood up for Hifumi and got himself fired at his first job. Part of why he puts up with shitty treatment at EL Medical is because it's one of the few places that would hire someone who switched employers at such a young age. (Sidebar: My (probably flawed, as I don't live in Japan) impression is that this is becoming less and less of a thing as time goes on and the economy goes to shit, but I think it's the self-stigma more than anything else that's affecting Doppo. To me, it feel similar to the societal pressures in the US to attend and graduate from a four-year college. Plenty of people don't for all sorts of reasons, but because that's so ingrained as the default life story for Americans in a lot of communities, Doppo's dealing with the kind of disappointment and self-hatred someone who dropped out before getting a four year degree might feel.) Doppo beats himself up about that a lot, but here we get that lovely line of "In the waves of people (hitonami) passing all around me, I no longer see anyone who looks like me. It's a shame, because I always wanted to be just like everyone else (hitonami)." Outside of that beautiful wordplay on hitonami, we're also treated to the figurative language of hitonami being literally "in line with others." Doppo, a character who walks through life alone, wanted to walk through life at the same pace/reaching the same milestones at the same time as everyone else.
(1:04 in) "Life is a tightrope act; it's like walking a balance beam [lit. "average beam" aka a beam where everything is averaged/balanced]. In a country where not everything can be average (narasarenai) and where even if the things that [I] can accomplish (narasareru) don't matter [in the eyes of society], sometimes the sounds I want to make don't come out right (narasarenai). When that happens, I can call myself pitiful--or I can feel the breathing of the beautiful flowerbed that is this city, and when someone's humming under their breath disturbs that short break [lit. breath], I ask them 'So, what is this happiness thing anyway?'" I would rather die than TL this song but I'm LOVING the creativity and depth of the lyrics.
(1:27) WILD! FUCKING! CHEERING!!! "You fake smiles in a mirror to make other people happy and call it love. It's a form of hypnosis, and I've made a go of falling under its spell because I just want to be equals [on par with, balanced], and so if you and I can walk these crowded streets together, then I think I don't mind as much that I'm always walking alone." THE GROWTH! THE GROWTH!!!!
Damn, this album's lyrics go hard. What a feast.
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camilledlc · 2 days
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Because I love relating songs to characters and analysing why it works so well, I just have to rant about how So Long, London by Taylor Swift is Vanessa's perspective of her break up with Wade. This one is reaaaally long, so be ready for that if you still chose to read this. It is 4,5k of a weird analyse no one asked for. You have been warned :
I think the main reason why Vanessa (that I will from now call Ness) ended things with Wade was because of how bad he was doing. She tried to be there for him, but there's only so much you can do for someone who doesn't want to be helped. So really, it is quite evident as to how this song can be related to their story. I'll go in order of the lyrics, and really dive in with the meaning of the song. I'll write this as if Ness wrote the song herself, kinda. But despite me relating it to Ness, it will also kind of be a study of the song in itself, if anyone is interested in that.
The opening line "I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist" shows two main things that to me will be crucial to understand exactly how it all went down and Ness' state of mind. The two central element being obviously the fairy lights and the mist. The mist represents this gloom, this sadness that had surrounded Wade, and therefore herself. He was extremely depressed because of the Avengers' rejection, and didn't seem to be able to pick himself back up. Everything for him became a mist, but it also made everything for Ness turn into a mist. Always being around a deeply person, to whom you're entirely devoted, it will take a huge tole on you. Their sadness become yours, etc. And by that point, you may think that there was no reason for her to stay, but no. That's why the fairy lights are here. The fairy lights doesn't represent the exit, the ending of this relationship that would finally brought her peace. This early on in the song, it wouldn't make sense. The author is still too deep into this relationship. The fairy lights are probably the reason why they are still together by that point, despite all the pain that it's causing Ness. Because while the relationship can generally be associated to a mist, there are moments of happiness, of "fairy lights through the the mist". Not all moments are bad, and they are occasions where Ness can see the old Wade, and what they used to have. And she wants to fight for that. Because deep down, they love each other in ways that can't be matched, and they loved each other for so long.
And so, this leads us to the next lyrics : "I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift / Pulling him tighter each time he was drifting away". Because Ness can see that not everything is bad in her relationship, that there are still pieces of what they used to be left to fight for, she tries. She tries to "[keep] calm", to be the rock Wade is in desperate need of. For Wade, it feels like his world is falling apart, as he can't seem to find a purpose for his life, a way to matter. He falls more and more into depression, unable to pull himself back up. The only thing stopping him from "drifting away" is Ness. But on the other hand, she can't keep carrying them both on her shoulders. It "weights" on her, and understandably so. She wants to be there for Wade, and she tries as much as she can to save him. But maybe it's a responsibility that's too heavy for her, and so, the come the next lyrics.
"My spine split from carrying us up the hill / Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill". Those are pretty easy to understand and very explicit. The weight of Wade's sadness is becoming too much for us, and she is breaking under it. By being the only one trying to lift them up, she's going to end up even more broken than Wade. I of course think that "wet" references sadness in general. Sadness is often paired with deep blues, cold colours and a general theme of water--because of tears. With the "mist" being also a metaphor for this sadness, it isn't surprising. But this means that this sadness that Wade carried, this "mist", finally got to her. The "mist" finally reached her and made her "wet", meaning that his sadness started to become her sadness. She "caught the chill", she started to feel depressed too, because always being around someone depressed--especially if you're the only one lifting them up--makes you depressed too.
"I stopped trying to make him laugh / Stopped trying to drill the safe". Another easily-understandable set of lyrics, yet devastating in the context of Deadpool. We know a handful thing about him and how he is generally perceived by others, and one of his main traits is that he's funny. He is always one to laugh, or crack a joke, the one that makes you happier when things are bad. He is the one supposed to make other laughs, but with how bad he feels, the roles are reversed, and Ness has to try and try and try to make him happier, to "make him laugh". It must have been really heart-breaking to see the dynamics in their relationship change this much, see a person she knew like the back of her hand becoming a ghost of who they used to be. And eventually, he started to close up too much to her. He would be 'somewhere else, not fully there'. He wouldn't let her in, tell her what he was truly feeling--despite the fact that she could sense how bad he was doing. He became a "safe", a total stranger that she couldn't figure out, until she eventually had to give up. This is even more depressing when you know that Wade has had tendencies to lie to protect himself and push people away, which he could've also done here with Ness.
All of this leads her to start being angry, and confused, and wanting answers from him. Not the Wade she saw before leaving him, but her Wade, from before all this. She wants to understand : "Thinkin, how much sad did you think I had / Did you think I had in me?". I see this as both a rhetorical question, telling him that she can't handle all of his sadness and that she has to leave him behind at some point. That she doesn't have this much sadness in her to support him. But I also believe it has some genuine aspects of an earnest question, always waiting for an answer. Yet, she will repeat this multiple times, probably alluding to the fact that she doesn't have any. Because Wade doesn't have an answer to that either. She wants to know just how far Wade was willing to let himself fall down while thinking that Ness would stay, that she would pick him up. In a way, I think she felt betrayed and hurt by the way he was treating her, waiting for her to be there for him while he purposefully let himself drown in his own misery. So, eventually, she's angry and demands answer, demands an explanation to all of this, because this isn't the Wade she fell in love with.
And that's why it's so tragic : "Oh, the tragedy... / So Long, London". In this, we see just how heart-breaking their entire story is. It wasn't supposed to end this way, yet at that point in time, she saw no other issues. She didn't want to leave him, but she had to. It was tragic because it couldn't have been avoided, yet she felt as if it wasn't fair, and it wasn't meant to be this way. She can only constate that their ending is tragic, and she has to accept it despite the evident pain and sorrow (the punctuation). And so, she leaves. All of this, only could lead to that conclusion. She went through all stages, from loving him, to trying to support him, to giving up on helping him, to being angry at him, to giving up on them altogether now. She isn't fully saying goodbye, as she still feels as if their lives are too intertwined for them to not see each other again eventually. They both love each other too damn much to never do so, to truly end things here. By that point, she accepts that she must leave, and that their story ends, but she knows the love hasn't completely disappeared yet.
But when she says "You'll find someone...", she does admit that while love may persist, the relationship is over for good. By that point, she only includes him in the finding someone part. I think it's because she herself hasn't moved on from him, and she isn't sure by that point that she can. They know they can't date anymore, but she doesn't think that she'll fall in love as hard as she did with Wade with anyone else. But for him, she wants him to move on and find someone who will be able to handle Wade. In a way, she may feel guilty for leaving, despite knowing that it was killing her on the inside to stay. So she wishes for Wade to find someone who, unlike her, will be able to help Wade, or at least carry his burden with him without splitting under the weight.
I feel that the next part is a bit trickier, so if my ramble doesn't make sense, feel free to ignore it! But otherwise, I think that the lyrics "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out / I founded the club she's heard great things about" are definitely laced with bitterness. To me, it really represents that moment of Wade getting better, and how Ness will view herself into that. One the one hand, she knows she isn't entitled to anything regarding Wade anymore because she chose to leave, but on the other hand, she feels as if she didn't have a choice to leave. Everything was so awful that she had to leave for her own sake, so she didn't opt out of his life. She didn't want to be his friend, but she couldn't be anything else. Yet, everyone--including Wade--will make her feel like it was her decision. Even though they respect it, she feels that they don't understand that it wasn't truly her decision, and that under other circumstances, she would've never left Wade. If it wasn't for her survival, she would still be with him. But now, she is purposefully being left out of everything regarding Wade and all of his accomplishments. People will say that it's great to see him better again, to see him happier, and a true hero that wants to matter, etc. And yes, he did that on his own, but it does feel to her as if it invalidates everything she went through. She helped him for so long, and eventually had to give up. So he got better on his own and is praised for it, but what about all of her efforts? Don't they count in his recovery? Isn't her support the foundation of the person he is today? She is one of the reason Wade found his spark back, yet because she left before he did, she can never say as much. And it must feel bitter to see how much time and energy and love you lost trying to help someone who got better after you left them, after you've had enough.
Which is why we have "I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath". Because, yes, she may have been the one who left Wade first officially, but Wade had left her way before that. When letting himself become a shadow of who he once was, he left Ness to fend on her own, the only one keeping their love, their home alive. The "house by the Heath" represents this home that they made for themselves, it was their lives, their futures. But Wade abandoned that mentally. Yet, it falls on Ness when she decides to abandon it physically. In this whole verse, she is feeling bitter, and angry, and regretful. She left everything behind, because Wade felt like her everything. But she wasn't the first one to do so, and Wade had actually done it before. She had in the past tried to support him when he had cancer, only for him to leave her to bear this alone. So, actually, she was the only one trying actively not to leave, not to let this relationship die.
"I stopped CPR, after all it's no use / The spirit was gone, we would never come to". It implies that for a long time, she tried to maintain their relationship alive, but it was for nothing. "The spirit" of their love had left when Wade did too, when he metaphorically left the relationship. It couldn't be brought back, and even if they had tried, it would've been too late. Their relationship was already too damaged to be salvaged. There is no use to perform CPR on a dead body.
The next lyric is heavily marked by the voice of the singer, showing the anger and resentment growing : "And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free". For this one, I think it's crucial we remember the context of both who they are in general. Ness is a woman in her mid-thirties/forties, meanwhile, Wade is an immortal guy who can't age nor die. Wade still has the whole eternity in front of him to do whatever he wants, to be someone great. But Ness spent most of her life with him, and now she's getting older. No matter who she ends up with it will be a very recent and new relationship, and it will take time to grow, and so she may have trouble later having the family she'd wanted. For her, it may feels like as if she's spent so many years with Wade, only to be back at square one. Except that for him, he can take the eternity to move up a few square, but her, she doesn't have that time. She doesn't have eternal "youth", which is why she may be so pissed, both at herself and at Wade. It can be very easy to start resenting someone when you feel like you have wasted so much time on them, for nothing to come out of it eventually. And it would be better if Wade was in the same boat as her, because then they would both have wasted time and it would be no one's fault. But she is alone in this, she is the one who gave her "youth for free".
The "For so long, London / Stitches undone / Two graves, one gun" only reinforce this idea. She gave her youth "for so long" and now she's feeling resentful. In a way, it feels like her decision killed them both. She knows the negative impact their breakup had on Wade, of course. But here, she also acknowledge just how much it affected her too. With "one gun", aka her decision to leave, she killed the both of them ("two graves"). Kind of in a "you had to kill me but it killed you just the same kind of way". And now, the relationship that she carefully spent time stitching up each time it split is now completely broken, the "stitches undone".
And so, she accepts that she has to move on : "I'll find someone". She knows how bad her decision also affected her, and how hard it will be to get back everything she lost to this relationship. But she can't stay down, and she has to find a way to move forward somehow. And she knows that it's possible, that eventually, she'll find someone else, she'll fall in love again and that life goes on. It's a way for her to try and find peace, to definitely put her relationship with Wade past her. And by the beginning of Deadpool and Wolverine, she believes that she has found that someone, she found Dermot. Someone good, who is different yet someone she is really happy with. She can fully move on, and so wants to try and befriend Wade, as a way to really put this all behind. Because despite knowing they can't ever get back together, she still has a lot of love for him--whether it's romantic or now platonic, she'll always love him, as he is one of the most important person for her. But it's clear that while she's almost moved on completely from him, he hasn't done the same. And because of the way he still holds out hope for them to be together again, she feels as though he thinks she abandoned him all over again.
So in a way, the upcoming bridge is her way of defending herself. "And you say I abandoned the ship / But I was going down with it" is literally her reiterating that she wasn't the one who left first, she was actually holding onto that relationship even more than Wade was, even though it was killing her, "My white knuckle dying grip". The singer's voice is by then really angry, and I think Ness is too by now. It feels unjust to be blamed for leaving a relationship. I don't think they are blaming her consciously, because Wade would never want to make her feel bad about it. But the sole fact that he's still holding out hope that they work out put the blame on her for the fact that it isn't working out. In a way, him still wanting her and not being able to move on makes her even now the responsible for Wade's misery, which is unfair because she already had to bear it and suffer from it for long enough in their relationship.
The next lyrics will all be analysed as a whole, so sorry for that : "Holding tight to your quiet resentment and / My friends said it isn't right to be scared / Everyday of a love affair / Every breath feels like rarest air / When you're not sure if he wants to be there". This may be a bit triggering, se be careful, but I think that while the original song may be talking about not wanting to be there in a relationship, from Ness' point of view, it will be more like there at all in this life. Wade is canonically a character that has a severe mental instability, a lot of traumas and issues, and he is one of the character who tried to off himself the most--even before having a regenerating factor. He clearly has always struggled with his mental health, and it was even worse during his depression. So when Ness feels scared that because she's "not sure if he wants to be there", she's talking about being scared that Wade would take the opportunity to off himself if he could die. It is extremely scary to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't wish to live anymore, when you never know if they are faking their smiles, planning on leaving it all behind, if you're not sure you'll wake up and they'll still be there. Even while knowing he can't die, it is still a terrifying thought. So now, their entire relationship, their "love affair" is completely overtook by this fear that it will all end at any moment, and also by this need to take every good thing in because they may not last, or there won't ever be any other good thing afterwards. Every moment of true joy "feels like rarest air". Because now, everything in her mind revolves around Wade's sadness, his "quiet resentment" of feeling like he doesn't matter, of not finding his purpose in this world.
But there's only so much that one person can take, and so, eventually, she is back to asking "So how much sad did you think I had / Did you think I had in me? / How much tragedy?". This times, it really feels as though she exposed previously during the bridge every arguments in her favour as to why she had to leave, and now she's showing him all of those arguments and telling him 'see?', and in the words of the song "Just how low did you think I'd go? Before I'd self-implode / Before I'd have to go be free". And those two last sentences summarize pretty much everything : she was self-imploding, so she had to leave and be free. This relationship, despite still having some good moments that guilted her into staying, was more like a prison to her by that point. In this bridge, she seems finale with her explanation, and feels a certain form of validation of her decision. By then, she is certain she made the right choice, and she is trying to show others, and especially Wade, that she had to move on and that still holding hope for a relationship together was just invalidating everything she went through (even if Wade isn't necessarily wanting that, or even realizing she might feel that way. He can't help but love her, but respects her decision nonetheless. There is no bad guy here, just a very complicated situation).
The very end of the song is definitely right by the end of the events of Deadpool and Wolverine. Wade tells her explicitly that he still loves her, still wants her, wants them. But when he tells her he still loves her, all she can think of is : "You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? / I died on the altar waiting for the proof / You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days". She may know, realistically, that Wade really did love and still do, but during the end of their relationship, she couldn't feel it. Everything in Wade's life was now centred around his sadness, which is here represented by the "gods of [your] bluest days". Their relationship was too much, and so he "sacrificed" it, because in his mind, there was no room for anything other than his depression. Which is valid and comprehensible, but extremely hard to live for Ness. She was desperately waiting for him to show her that he cared for her, that he still loved her, that he was still with her, like shown in the flashback when Cassandra Nova peered through Wade's mind. She asked him directly for proof of his love, and she eventually had to leave the "altar" because she was dying there otherwise. Wade was feeling so awful that he couldn't remind Ness just how much he loved her, so even now, she can't accept that he still does.
Besides, we know she has supposedly moved on, as she is happy with her new boyfriend Dermot : "And I'm just getting color back into my face". After everything, she eventually felt like a lesser version of herself, beaten up by this tragic relationship. Wade's constant sadness got to her. But now, it's been a while, and she had time to move on, to find her own new happiness. It might be different colours than when she was with Wade, but she has colours nonetheless. She is happier out of the relationship. Yet, she can't help but be mad : "I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place / For so long, London". It is quite obvious that despite being happy now, she had also been happy with Wade before all this. There had been so long where she thought she was gonna marry Wade, found a family together, that he was her soulmate. She knows it's for the better, but there's also something so frustrating about having to leave something that brought you joy for so long because now it has soured. The lyrics "Had a good run / A moment of warm sun" reminds that. Before Wade got depressed, there relationship was truly and utterly an happy relationship. There was so much good in it, and for a long time, it seemed like it would last. But it didn't.
"But I'm not the one / So long, London". She is here fully letting Wade go, and letting their romance go. In admitting that she isn't the one for Wade, she is admitting that they weren't soulmates who were meant to be, and that maybe it's better this way. She is admitting that even the earlier stage of their relationship was extremely good and happy, it was not enough. She isn't the one for him because she could love him at his best, but couldn't at his worst. And there is no shame in that, she knows now that some people aren't meant to be, despite being perfect for each other in every other aspects. For example, when she sees Logan, she understands that he can handle Wade at his worst, that he can lift him up. At the same time, it's a bit bitter because she wished she could've been the one, but she is also really grateful to be out of this relationship, and yet knowing that Wade's got someone else that will be there for him. She can leave peacefully knowing that.
Then, we have another repetition of "Stitches undone" which symbolize definitely the end of relationship, with nothing holding it together anymore, and "Two graves, one gun". Personally, I always heard something else and liked what I heard more, which is "Two graves, one gone". Here, it would be a representation of how they felt during Wade's depression. He was so sad that he was almost dead, which killed her on the inside too. They were "two graves". But some graves aren't meant to be side by side. She left the graveyard, found happiness again somewhere else. She brought herself back to life by leaving. Now, there is one grave that is "gone". But by using the last sentence "You'll find someone...", she is in a way giving him permission to move on from her as well, to leave the graveyard that was their relationship. She hopes for him that he'll find someone who will bring him back to life to, and she even thinks that Wade found that person already, found that in Logan. Now that she let go, she's telling Wade to do the same. To let her go.
The three different instances of "you'll find someone / i'll find someone / you'll find someone" really represents the progression of the breakup and the healing from it. At first, it's a way to convince herself that she has to leave, that she isn't made to handle this. By then, none of them have moved on. Then, it's her finding her own way of happiness, admitting that she's moving on. And the last one is her telling Wade to move on too. By the end of the song, their relationship has definitely ended, it's over for good.
"So long, London".
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justanerddummie · 2 days
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Ok, I'm going to ramble once again, about the new amazing sneak peak that at least to me feels like Vi is kind of trying to put herself in jail once again, it's pretty long so I'll put a cut.
It's kind of the perfect parallel with s1 if you think about it, except this time it's not Marcus that drags her in Stillwater but it's Vi who creates a weird version of it by herself.
"So you just wave an arm, have someone dragged out, don't bother to find out what it does to someone being stuffed in a stone box for weeks, months or even years" this is what Vi tells jayce after he threatened her to have her arrested and it's kind of what we see in the sneak peak. Vi locks herself in her one bedroom apartment and slowly loses her sanity with every passing second, only to go downstairs when she can't take it anymore - no one can convince me that the apartment isn't right above the fighting pit - and either gets herself beat up until she looses consciousness or drinks enough to pass out.
The fact that she hallucinates Caitlyn makes me think that she's going to blame herself for Cait's villain era, almost as if she created not just Jinx but another monster, and in a weird and fucked up way I think this is also Vi's way of getting a time-out from being herself, from being the reason everybody goes batshit crazy and the only way she can do it is by locking herself away in the deepest pit the underground has to offer, a place where her actions affects her and only her (somebody please go check on her).
In Vi's head it all makes sense, and I don't think this is an identy crisis, I think this is the end of a cycle for her, (like if you think abt s1 it's pretty obvious how the "kids" are making the same choices of their parents with a few differences here and there but with the same results, and then the cycle starts again) this is the end of the story of her trying to save her sister and accidentally turning the naive, bright eyed enforcer that got her out of jail in an even bigger monster, so she decides to lock herself up, to punish herself.
This is the pinnacle of Vander's education (don't get me wrong I love the guy, but in trying to teach Vi what he learned from his mistakes he forgot to teach her that other's people actions are not her fault), now what remains to be seen is if this is just another beginning of the same cycle or if she'll manage to break it.
Because at the end of the day I think Vi's the only character who can manage that, she's the link between top side and underground and possibly one the few characters who is capable of forgiveness, not for herself unfortunately but for others, yes, she is.
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imbecominggayer · 23 hours
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How To Write Characters With Addiction
From @differentnighttale: "I am curious if you give advice about writing people with addictions for example substance. I have reasons my male MC does it. But how can I describe the addictions the MC has correctly."
In this post we are going to be talking about addiction! From alcoholism, substance abuse, nymphomania, to everything else that can be a possible addiction. This post will be all about making this realistic and complex :)
A) What Are The Benefits?, Make It Convincing
Grab a fucking piece of paper or whatever you have and just write a paragraph from your addict's perspective on the situation. Omit the bad stuff. Make it highly convincing. if you aren't thinking "hmm, understandable" after you've written and read it, you did it wrong.
What do they get out of it?
Why did they like it at first?
Are they calmer, more intensely concentrated, does it take the edge off?
Are they more confident?
Does it ease the sense of being fundamentally wrong or dull some other pain?
Is it fun to do something rebellious?
What made them like this thing so much they tried it again, and again, and again?
B) Think About The Consequences, And Ignore It
Oftentime, at least in my experience, people will continue with a bad habit if it means they don't have to be the one to think about the consequences.
The Consequences For Addiction Include:
Financial. Depending on what your character uses to get their fix and how much they use, they might be spending hundreds a week if they are a particularly aggressive user. People often steal money from their loved ones. Addiction also tends to get people fired. Write a scene where your drunk character gets fired for operating machinery. Have them be a burdenous sponge.
Social. It's common for addicts to lose their loved ones since it often gets to a point where it's impossible to care about these people despite how much you love them. Make love ones leave your character! And don't blame them
Physical. STDs, Overdose, Liver Failure, and a shit ton of other issues from the chronic to the fatal either cause, exacerbate, or are linked with addiction. Recovery can't automatically save your character so don't write that story.
Psychological. Being an addict isn't fun since you get to struggle with points 1, 2, and 3 all at the same time! Write about your character issues. Their lack of control. Their spiralling life.
Write all about your character's suffering. And then have them justify it. Make it convincing.
They need it. It's not their fault that this is the only that helps them! Everyone just doesn't get it. I'm trying to work on it, OK?! It'll all work out! They know that it's wrong but...
My most hated shit is when a character's arc is easy. They struggle with some things like a big dramatic argument with their wife, they cry a bit, and then they learn that "drugs are bad" so everything is fine :D
NO!!! Why don't you write about a friendship that doesn't get mended? A chronic illness they now have to pay huge medicine bills for? A fucked-up rap sheet that they can't escape?
And it's not because we want to punich addicts. It's because it doesn't matter if you care about addicts if you don't care about the messy shit!
It's easy to sympathize with an addict if you make them the most innocent victim who never hurts someone intentionally and who gets rid of the addiction in a second and never struggles with it ever again!
Do the hard shit. Make your readers sympathize with the unsympathetic asshole addict! Addicts aren't always good people! They can be dickbags. And they still deserve resources. Life isn't some kind of karma game where dickbags suffer and good people rise! Everyone deserves to not suffer!
Addiction is ultimately a disease. But it's a disease that can make someone you love into an absolutely unlikeable person. And this is coming from someone with an alcoholic dad <3 He does good things and bad things. I can sympathise with my dad and not let him walk all over me.
C) Withdrawal Is Leaving An Ex, Relapse Is Returning
Addiction is a motherfucker trying to leave. It's basically the equivalent of a clingy ex who keeps contacting you, asking for just one conversation, and the moment you so much as acknowledge them you are fucked.
And suffering the brunt of a clingy ex who won't take the hint tends to cause the same symptoms as withdrawal!
Obviously, withdrawal symptoms depend on what type of ex you have and what age you are and yada yada yada. Research for specificity :)
Withdrawal symptoms can include:
Headaches
Insomnia
Fatigue
Hallucinations
Seizures
Tremors
Cravings
etc.
BE AWARE: Relapses are when someone returns back to their drug if they were going cold turkey or going back to their original dose. Relapses can sometimes result in an overdose due to the fact that the brain has been weened off the substance and is now overwhelmed by the high dose.
Relapses often happen when a person makes the deliberate choice in order to stop these fucking nightmarish symptoms. To use the analogy of a clingy ex, you start talking to them in order to tell them to stop contacting.
Relapses can also happen through being in a setting where the behaviors associated with the addiction such as sex, gambling, drinking, substance use, and all manner of things are normalized.
This setting could be a party, a bar, or even a friend group.
Relapse is made more likely if someone is self-detoxing away from a support group or a doctor.
Writing about withdrawal and relapses are an important part in making a story feel more authentic. Just like with mental illness, people rarely learn the lesson and follow it perfectly. They make mistakes. Slip back into old habits. Do shitty things.
We aren't writing their suffering to punish them. We are doing it because you can't say you care if all you are willing to do is look at the easy parts.
D) Little Tidbits To Keep Track Off
This is the miscellanious things that didn't fit into their own boxes.
Friends!
Do they have friends who also have their addiction? How do they hang out? What are they like? How are their substance using friends different from their non-addict ones?
Slang!
Don't just look up slang for your substance of choice. You'll need to look at some first-hand accounts of addiction. Find an influence who has struggled with substance abuse in the past and see how they talk about it!
Variables!
Remember to keep their geographical location, socioeconomic status, time, and a host of other factors. If your character is a penniless alcoholic then it's unlikely they'll get their hands on some type of expensive gin. They'll probably use rubbing alcohol. Keep the price of your drug in mind.
A character's status will also impact their slang. No one unironically says doobie anymore.
A character's location will also impact how they get their shit and how other characters will react to that addiction.
A character's financial status also impacts how the consequences of their actions impact them. A low-income character wont be able to afford the same medication as a rich addict. They also won't have the same luxury for quality therapy, rehab, programs, time, anything really.
Look At The Addict And The Loved Ones
Try not the skew the reality of addiction to paint the addict as the victim and the loved ones as evil for not being forgiving and tolerant enough.
Keep sympathy for both the addict and the loved ones. Or drop sympathy for both of those characters.
E) RESOURCES
FDA and DEA online databases and drug resources
Social Networking Groups
Medical Journals
Local medical professionals, police, and medical examiners
The US national poison center
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I got bored waiting for my laundry to laundry, so I started rolling an incorrect quotes generator with various dominion smp characters.
(AS PER USUAL TO THOSE OF YOU WHO I KNOW ARE ON THIS WEBBED SITE I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ANY HORRID MANGLING OF CHARACTERS)
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Sneve, standing with their back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Legundo. Legundo: How did you do that without turning around? Sneve: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
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Sneve: I can explain. Legundo: Can you? Sneve: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
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Viking: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Legundo: Oh, I’m always running Legundo: The question is from what
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Legundo: Can you please be serious for five minutes? Sneve: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
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Legundo: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Viking: Go the heck to sleep Legundo: What gif I don't want to? Viking: No.
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Legundo: Where are you going? Viking: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there
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Legundo: Violence isn't the answer. Viking: You’re right. Legundo: *sighs in relief* Viking: Violence is the question. Legundo: What? Viking, bolting away: And the answer is yes. Legundo, running after them: NO-
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Sneve: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
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Sneve: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.
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Viking: Goodnight moon. Viking: Goodnight tree. Viking: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.
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Sneve: I think we're missing something. Legundo: Teamwork? Shadow: Cohesion? Joy: A general sense of what we’re doing?
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Sneve: Is stabbing someone immoral? Legundo: Not if they consent to it. Shadow: Depends who you’re stabbing. Joy: YES?!?
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Sneve: Sh*t. Joy: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Shadow: OH MY GOD LEGUNDO FELL OFF!!!
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Legundo: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Sneve: Put spaghetti in it. Legundo: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Shadow: Put spaghetti in it. Legundo: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Joy: Put spaghetti in it. Legundo: I'm no longer taking suggestions.
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Legundo: How did none of you hear what I just said? Joy: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Shadow: I got distracted about halfway through. Sneve: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
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Sneve: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Legundo: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Shadow? Shadow: Probably “road work ahead”. Joy: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
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Sneve, setting down a card: Ace of spades Legundo, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Joy, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Shadow, trembling: What are we playing
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Sneve: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Legundo: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Sneve: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Shadow: Actually I did the math, Legundo would have $225, not $0.15. Legundo: Fam I’m right here.... Joy: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Sneve: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Joy: Sorry I only have a dollar Sneve: :( Shadow: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Legundo would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Joy: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Shadow: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Taneesha: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice Shadow: Apply juice to what Viking: Directly to the forehead Legundo: Great chat everyone
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*The squad right before Legundo's wedding* Sneve: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend. Shadow: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too! Viking: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well Taneesha: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Joy, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE
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Legundo: I CAN'T DO IT! Sneve, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Legundo: I CANT DO IT ANYMORE Shadow: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Legundo: Legundo: I appreciate it, Legundo: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Joy: Legundo- Legundo: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Taneesha: Legundo we gotta- Legundo: YOU GOTTA DRAW A LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Legundo: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Legundo, motioning to Viking: NOT THIS
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Sneve: Rules are made to be broken. Legundo: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Shadow: Uh, piñatas. Joy: Glow sticks. Taneesha: Karate boards. Viking: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Sneve: Rules. Legundo:
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Sneve: Dumbest scar stories, go! Legundo: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Shadow: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Joy: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Taneesha: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Viking: Viking: I have emotional scars.
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Legundo, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Viking: Hey. Shadow: Hi. Joy: Hello. Taneesha: Hey! Legundo: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Sneve: We were out of Doritos.
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Sneve: Time for plan G. Taneesha: Don’t you mean plan B? Sneve: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Shadow: What about plan D? Sneve: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Joy: What about plan E? Sneve: I’m hoping not to use it. Legundo dies in plan E. Viking: I like plan E.
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Sneve: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Legundo: Have everyone stand. Shadow: Bring three more chairs! Joy: The most important ones can sit down. Viking: Kill three.
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googledetective · 2 days
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my thoughts on the new episode as always, as I am currently losing my shit lol. I know a lot of people dislike me after last ep when I spoke up about my thoughts, but this time I'm ready to be more mature about it.
1. I love the Hu argue uhhh thingy! I forgot what it's called ngl! I love her and Nico's new sprites too, they were really all amazing and conveyed so much emotion!
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And then Hu said this 💀
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genuinely insane analogy to make here. I'm sorry, but that was actually insanely uncalled for imo.
2. I think everyone forgot Hu's custom weapon is wire, (if you realized and predicted this, huge props to you), and I did not expect Nico to try and frame Hu for murder like that. NicoHu divorce arc when??? Just kidding, but they're much more cruel then I originally thought. I completely understand trauma from not being accepted as the person you are which was likely in the form of bullying/abuse, but I was genuinely surprised that they really try and murdered Ace just because they didn't like him and they didn't want to go through that again. Very interesting. I also feel very bad for Hu, because she's poured her heart into trying to protect Nico, and even though her methods are EXTREMELY flawed, it must hurt to know someone you really tried to help would try to frame you for murder. This makes me wonder if Nico felt Hu was a threat to their sense of self like Ace was, if they were going to try and pin a murder on her. I'm glad Charles and J told Hu to shut up though, because she was becoming unreasonable. I really hope things turn out the best for her though, because it's clear she's coming from a place of kindness, even if her kindness is mostly self-serving.
3. As much as I don't really like the guy, I'm very glad to have seen Ace pop off. Everyone has treated him like shit, and even if he's treated everyone like shit back, he did not deserve to be almost murdered and then for people to just not care. I really hope Ace ends up making a friend if he isn't the killer, because he really deserves someone to care about him the way mostly everyone in the cast already has someone.
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4. They both make very good points here. I think Ace deserves an apology, but a real one.
5. "of course I regret doing it, I'm not Levi" - Nico
THATS ACTUALLY INSANE- but that may be my favorite line of the ep. I'm glad Nico regrets the crime though, because I was scared for awhile they didn't and there might be another incident of the same thing again. This makes me think they won't try and kill again, but it's drdt so you never know, and I think they're a definite threat if they get provoked to that point so easily.
6. I feel so bad for Rose, but let me say, dare I say, I think Whit asking if Rose is okay might've been the sweetest thing Ive ever seen. A lot of people tend to forget that Whit is actually very compassionate, so I'm glad to see that part of him shine through again. Rose is so human, and I think she may be the most realistic character I've ever seen portrayed in a fangan. A lot of characters are able to just get back up after a murder, but she's stuck, and I think I would be the same way. Unfortunately there's zero mental health professionals (obviously, cause they all need to be in a ward) in drdt, but I hope that she maybe can come to cope in a healthier way with what's going on around her, because she doesn't deserve this mess. I didn't actually realize before that the cast had put her on a bit of a pedestal due to her amazing memory, but it makes sense. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I hope that Rose comes to peace with the turpentine and the tape thing because it really isn't her fault and that she can get help for her trauma due to Min and Xander, and Teruko's almost death. No matter how much people expect her to memorize a crime scene, she's human, and we all take things at much different paces.
7.
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Hey David, didn't Whit teach us that trauma is a serious thing? You know I've been defending this guy a bit because of how he helped Eden and how I think he's trying to do what's right, but NEVERMIND. Because what the actual fuck is wrong with him to say something as messed up as these two statements. Rose and Arturo do not owe you anything, and they deserve to heal healthy, and at their own pace.
8. Teruko defending Rose was not in my ch2 trial bingo card, but oh my god, that really is sweet. I think Teruko really has started to change from talking with Rose.
I'm running out of images so I can't include her monologue, but it genuinely makes me happy she's starting to get some sort of character development. She really deserves it, and Charles really deserved being so fucking right about being social, lol. Also Teruko thanking Rose with that genuine smile on her face- brought me to tears. I hope they become friends :)
9. Ace and Eden, huh? To be honest, I'm completely torn and I can't see it being either one of them, but then again, I can't see it being anyone. I know so many people are complaining about not having a culprit reveal this ep, but I'm fine. I could wait another year and a half for the reveal. Actually, I don't think we need one at all. Maybe the true drdt is the friends we made along the way. Maybe it's better to choose delusion that nobody could've done it than it to have been Ace or Eden. Maybe, I killed Arei.
(I'm not that smart so I don't think I should be making killer theories, lol. I think it's safe to say I should stick to memes.)
10.
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LMAOOOO. She right though.
11. "It pains me to come to Ace's defense" - David
another laughable moment, but a win for the Acevid shippers, I guess. I don't think David was lying though, and it was my suspicion all along that he had seen the body before anyone. I'm not very smart so I'm a bit confused as to whether later they're saying David actually did see her body (which is weird bc he'd have an alibi), or if he thinks someone else might've seen it and wanted to include that as a possibility.
12.
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Teruko handled this whole situation super well, I was very impressed with her. Obviously you can't rule Eden out as the killer and Teruko explained that, but she was so compassionate and understanding about it that it made me cry. I never thought I'd say this, but here's a Teruko W. As for Eden pleading... I wish I could say more and I'm sure I'll be able to later, but it's just so likely she could be the culprit that I can't take anything she says at face value rn, and I was having trouble empathizing with her. Of course that's just my take, and I have already chatted with others who felt the whole scene was just a heartwarming experience, and that makes me really happy. This being said, the fact Teruko immediately turned to Ace as her main suspect TOOK ME OUT. I feel so bad for him he has literally done nothing but be suspicious to warrant this, while Eden is at the same level of suspicion. I really like that Teruko is playing favorites now, because Eden's been so good to her all this time.
13. I forgot to include David trying to get Teruko to not trust others!!! Shit!!!
Is that seriously how he plans to end the kg.. I can kinda see what he's going for bc so far the trope is in most danganronpa that you need to trust others to live and be fulfilled (not saying drdt is gonna follow that trope though). Hm.
Bro is actually down horrendous for Teruko though 😭
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tierlist after watching this ep (kill me now)
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So the scarring discourse is still going.
No, characters keeping scars does not automatically equate to that being torture porn. In this context, fans clearly intend it in a way that says "even if you end up with physical marks, it doesn't diminish you". Or is Aang getting scarred torture porn too? Or do you think things like Mortal Engines movie shrinking the female lead's facial damage to a minimum "spared her of physical trauma"? No, it was afraid of depicting something deemed "ugly" and it's a huge disservice to real people who look like she was described in the book.
The topic was not handled super well in ATLA. Katara's wounds got healed leaving no trace on her, on her psyche nor on how she views Aang which is not just unrealistic, but you can literally feel in the show Katara having to go "no Aang it's ok, I'm fine, you don't have to beat yourself up over it, I'm healed, let it go Aang, it's not your fault," it is too much. It would have been much stronger had the burns left some mark, even a tiny one, because then Aang's reluctance to practice firebending would have made more sense and all characters would have gotten a more solid demonstration that the Avatar can be dangerous too. It would have been a wakeup call to Katara that Aang isn't a completely harmless kid she can always shield and protect. That's character development! This would have been a more powerful moment in the progression of their relationship, especially after they sort it out and Aang learns safe firebending later on, because they'd have a more real problem to overcome rather than just Aang's guilt.
Again, show didn't frame things too cleverly - there's no heightened moment of perhaps Katara being extremely happy that she discovered a part of her lost Southern waterbending heritage (just remember her behaviour with Hama, there's none of that here). The show just removes her wounds, she's confused about the ability, and this leads to Jeong Jeong making a point about how fire is wild and destructive. The whole segment ends with removing the source of the problem (wounds) and is about how evil fire is. Aang ends up being traumatized anyway, he isn't less traumatized because Katara's wounds didn't scar.
The point is - Katara gets nothing character-building out of this event, even though it made her cry and cradle her arms for several minutes on screen. Because of this her burns could be considered torture-porn (slightly). Her discovering healing abilities is not a reward she got exclusively because she suffered the burns, she could have discovered it by accidentally hurting herself, or healing someone else. Imagine if Aang hurt himself by being reckless and Katara discovering she could heal him? What she should have gotten out of specifically being burned by Aang, is a changed view of him. I don't mean her viewing him negatively, but taking a step back and both learning they should be more careful. Who said zutara stans want Katara getting scarred by Aang in order to make Aang a villain in this? He literally cannot be a villain here, he made a big mistake by being careless. It's got nothing to do with zutara. It's not helpful to misinterpret some storytelling tools that have nothing to do with shipping, just to prevent them from creating some later story hooks which could potentially be used in shipping a NOTP. Heck, Katara getting scarred could even be used (with skilled writing) in shipping her with Aang - like zutara fans use Katara being angry at Zuko and expecting him to demonstrate that he wouldn't betray or hurt them again.
And if you have a distaste for two happy friendly characters hurting each other on accident, that's fine, but well I have a scar on my arm from my brother's scratch that happened on accident. These things happen and stories shouldn't be scared of portraying it, especially if later on they show how to make ammends and overcome the problem. I'm not saying "Katara should definitely have kept her scars!!!" I am showing narrative weak points and suggestions how things could have been done differently, what benefits it could have had character-wise and what that might have changed.
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nicosraf · 3 days
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I hope its alright to ask for writing tips, i know you have plenty on your plate already so definitely disregard if this is a lot to answer. Was there anything you used that helped you develop characters during the writing process? Like guidelines or tips or even other books?? I wanted to take on writing for fun but I'm quickly realizing there is a lot of,,,, planning and learning that goes along with the writing process. I feel like I have so many ideas and if I don't get them out I will soon explode 🥴
Hello! I always like answering writing questions!
I don't use guides! I've mostly got my own method now, but I've been writing for a long time, and one day, you'll probably have your own method too. I can share with you how I make characters, but try different things! Experiment!
(I also want to emphasize that if you're writing for fun then don't worry about it being good. If you're writing seriously, also don't worry about it being good. Write bad characters, if you want. Do what makes you happy and the work will always be good.)
My rubric for a character, in order of importance (for the most part) is: immediate relevance, themes, arc, background, attributes.
(Note: this isn't the order in which I come up with a character, just how I plot them).
Let me use Rosier as an example of how I typically think of character construction (Note: this isn't exactly how I thought up Rosier)
Initial idea: Lucifer needs a kind figure in his life, maybe someone he lives with. Not Michael. I want him to have a strong platonic relationship. Next idea: Maybe he'll stay kind while Lucifer worsens as a person. Next idea: He should fall but not because of a sin he committed. Next idea: He's older than Lucifer. Next idea: He had a life before Lucifer, too. Next idea: Something, something, fruit. It shows up everywhere in the (imagined) story. Fruit angel? Next idea: Messy, messy feelings about sex.
I start sorting this out as per my little guide:
Immediate Relevance: A platonic relationship for the protagonist, someone who will bring fruits to the Earth. Now what can he bring to this book?
Themes (with an eye for Rosier's relevance to the plot (and its own themes) and the most plot-focused characters' themes): Unconditional kindness, fruit and devil, no ambition, loss of innocence, weakness, not desiring sex (opposed to the theme of others and the book itself), unwillingly creating (while some others are desperate to create), falling from choice, demon who isn't a good demon. How can we structure these themes into a story?
Arc: Rosier, the fruit angel, happily takes newborn Lucifer in. He loves the paradise where nothing ever happens. He has a situationship with the angel who will become the demon of lust. He suffers at Lucifer's hands but forgives him. He loves him. But he doesn't do enough. He suffers at Asmodeus' hands. He chooses to fall. He cares for Lucifer's body. He creates a body for Asmodeus. He follows his friends (again) to a cave of demons. He doesn't want to be alone. He chooses demonhood, despite his kindness. But how can this arc happen to him? (There's a seperate checklist for an arc in my head, with the most important part being "Kill your character." It doesn't have to be literal. Kill them in the sense that they're no longer who they were at the start of the story.)
Background: This arc can only happen because of who Rosier is. And a person is their life, so what is Rosier's life? He was born out of a nova in the sky like a fruit. God hugs him tight, but he won't remember, and God will never meet him, not really. [More about Rosier's background here; this post is getting too long]. What has his background shaped him to be?
Attributes: Is kind, is patient, has learned to be happy with the bare minimum, has learned to make excuses for people. Loves fruits (obviously), likes baking, is fussy. [So on]
You see how all these things build into each other? It's like writing a book in itself. Actually, I think writing a plot and writing a character are very very similar! Because a story is a narrative — a collection of scenes/lines with a beginning and an end, each scene typically affecting the next — and a life is a narrative too — a collection of experiences with a beginning and an end, each experience affecting the next.
You might be curious why "Arc" is above "Background"; again, this isn't the order in which you should come up with a character or anything, but I find that placing big (author-ly) importance on the arc happening in the book/story itself can keep you from falling into the pitfall of "backstory of character is more interesting than what theyre currently up to in the plot." (Also this rubric isn't 100%. Sometimes you have to move the importance of things around. Sometimes a minor character should only have immediate relevance and attributes.)
I hope this is helpful! Good luck!! But please don't worry too much... Just have fun! Write a sexy character and see where they take you
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aeligsido · 2 days
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[WM — September 2024] Prompt 6 — Time-Turner.
Rating: G.
TW: none.
Characters: Remus Lupin, Seren Lupin (OC), Mary Macdonald, Sirius Black (in the haunting-the-narrative kind of way).
Additional Tags: actor Sirius Black; celebrity Sirius Black; trans Remus Lupin; past trans male pregnancy; Mary and Peter are great friends I just need to say it; modern au; actress Seren Lupin but she’s just starting; Seren as a wolfstar baby except Sirius doesn’t know she’s his (or Remus’s for that matter).
Summary: Seren Lupin gets the lead role for upcoming coming-of-age movie Time-Turner.
Words count: 975.
A/N: Heya! I dropped this au in @impishtubist askbox some time ago and since it refused to leave my brain I'm now forced to write about it idk. I’ll write Sirius and Remus’ first meeting (in twelve years) for a later microfic I think lmao. Hope you like it! 💕
@wolfstarmicrofic
read on ao3.
-
Remus is worrying himself sick, pacing alone in the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge to make sure the cake is still here, getting the glasses out, putting them back in, starting making tea, forgetting it halfway through the process. He should have joined them after work, but he was too stressed and too scared of somehow destroying Seren’s chances.
It’s her last audition today. Some sort of chemistry test? To see if she gets along with the other actors? It all made sense when she was excitedly telling him about it yesterday again, but it’s like his brain is mush now.
The door opens, cutting him down from his own spiral, and Remus perks up, more stressed out by the whole affair than his daughter ever was.
“Dad! Dad! I got it!”
Seren appears in the kitchen, grinning like the little gremlin she is, teeth out and her brown curls slipping free from the careful braid Mary pushed them into this morning. Her eyes, a circle of dark brown cascading into a warm grey, are shining with delight and joy, and Remus finds himself breathless with love — just like almost twelve years ago, when they put this small, red, squealing baby on his chest with a congratulation.
His daughter jumps into his arms and he laughs in tandem with her. “That’s amazing! I knew you could do it!” He lets her free, just enough to put his hands on her cheeks and look at her in the eyes. “I’m so proud of you.”
She beams with the force of a thousand suns.
“Thanks! It was so cool, and, oh, you’ll never guess who’s gonna play my dad in the film! And Mister Dumbledore said that we could get a TV show too!”
Albus Dumbledore, one of the most acclaimed film directors still alive, with so many successes behind him — yet so eccentric you could never guess what he will go for next. After a blockbuster about a young crowds of vigilantes saving their world from tyranny, a rather depressing story about a young orphan in the middle of WWII becoming the oppressor, and a passionate but tragic gay romance at the end of the 19th century, a coming-of-age children story is right on par for the course. Time-Turner, as it’s called, will follow a young girl — played by Seren, his own daughter! — discovering her time travel power, while dealing with her mother’s recent demise.
Which makes the father of the heroine the other lead of the film, and someone Seren will have to spend a lot of time with. Remus hopes he’s a good person. Someone nice, who wouldn’t be put-out by her unlimited energy and her never-ending supply of questions.
“So?” he asks as Seren stops talking to take a breath. “Who will play your dad?”
She grins, more excited even than before. She has always looked more like him, in general, with more elegance in her traits and grace in her body than he ever possessed. But like that — oh, like that, she looks just like…
“Sirius Black!” she yells, bouncing on her feet, and she can’t help but do a little, victorious dance.
“That’s great,” he says, croaks out more than anything, and smiles as wide as he can, drowning the drumming of his heart and fear as much as he can. “Why don’t you call your grandparents to tell them the news?” He checks the time. “And your uncle Peter? He should be out of work by now.”
Seren nods and babbles some more and disappears toward her room. Mary, who was standing silently near the door the whole time, finally comes around.
Remus starts busying himself with tea. It’s easier than thinking through his rising panic.
“So,” says Mary, because of course she cannot not say anything. For a brief second, Remus wishes Peter had been the one disponible today — he would have judged silently but not said anything, him. “You never told us Sirius Black is Seren’s father.”
He groans. His face hits the table and he considers staying here forever.
“No one knows,” he finally mumbles. “How did you even guess?”
“He was here today.” She ponders her words an instant. “They’re a lot alike.”
“But he doesn’t—” He stops himself, but Mary has known him since they were kids. She can read him too easily.
“I don't think he does.”
Remus sighs. It’s not ideal; it was already not great when Sirius Black was Seren’s idol, but it will be worse now that they’re in contact. Now that he will be in her life.
“Do I ask how it happened, since you didn’t tell me at the time, or are we doing that later when you can get drunk?”
“Second option,” Remus immediately answers. He can still remember, after all those years, how Sirius kissed him like he was important, the warmth of his hands on his body, the softness of his hair— But they had basically been strangers to each other, several hook-ups to escape boring parties resulting in Remus's panic at his sudden pregnancy and a total loss of contact. And now— Now he has so much to lose.
“I’ll call Peter,” Mary nods sagely. Then, after a beat of silence, “it will come out at some point, you know.”
“I doubt it,” he mutters, prays. “It’s not like he’ll remember me, anyway.”
How could an acclaimed actor, known all around the world, remember a random waiter he slept with twelve years ago? Remus didn’t impact his life the way Sirius impacted his. He’ll never regret it, of course — Seren is the most precious thing in his life, and all the moments preceding her existence were pretty great too — but it's not like Sirius would want to have anything to do with them, anyway.
Remus can at least try to speak it into existence.
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