#it surprises me when i see how thats so often the ONLY thing many people read

[13eyond13]

wish I could reblog that post about how the only two genres that exist on booktube to choose from are classics and YA fantasy/romance bc god that's true

[adrienneleclerc]

Prince of Ferrari

Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: Y/N meets F1 driver, Charles Leclerc, in a surprising and completely unexpected way.

Warning: THIS IS MY FIRST CHARLES LECLERC FANFIC, inaccurate F1 details (I’m a new fan, I’m learning) Grammatical and spelling errors

A/N: inspired by the way Ella of Frell met Prince Charmont in the movie Ella Enchanted. It is kinda a mix of Ella Enchanted and the DCOM Starstruck which really mad eme believe I'll have a Y/N moment, I really hope y’all like it!

Y/N was not a huge sports girl, but she LOVES Formula 1. Y/N started watching F1 with her dad when Checo Pérez joined in 2011 and now she’s living in Miami with the Grand Prix being only a few days away. Though everyone is a Ferrari fan according to Sebastian Vettel, Y/N was a total Red Bull fan.

That brings her to the Aventura Mall where Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz had an event with Ray-Ban.

"Do you know why there are so many people here?" Y/N asked her friend, trying to push through the crowd to get to Guess.

"Didn't you hear? The Ferrari boys are coming to the mall because of their Ray-Ban sponsorship/partnership, how did you not know this? I though you were a big F1 fan." Y/N's friend, Francesca, said.

"Exactly, I am an F1 fan, not a Ferrari fan. Isn't there are a Ferrari store here too? Why can't they do a Ferrari event?" Y/n asked.

"I think that is Sunday after the race." Francesca said, Y/N was going to say somwthing before she heard screaming. "Looks like the Ferrari boys are here. Can I meet them please?" Francesca asked Y/N with puppy dog eyes.

"Sure, I'll try to go to the Dolphin mall and see if I can get my mom a birthday gift without the crowd, let me know if you get a photo with them." Y/N said, she kissed Francesca goodbye and made it towards the exit.

Charles and Carlos were entering the mall, signing things as people were taking photos and videos of them.

"Remind me again why we are here?" Charles asked Fred.

"We need to maintain a good relationship with Ray-Ban." Fred said.

"It is completely fine, Lord Perceval, lighten up." Carlos said. They kept signing things until they made it to the stage set up in the center of the first floor.

"Welcome Formula 1 Ferrari drivers Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz!" Ray Ban employee said. The crowd cheered and got closer to the stage to see the Ferrari boys even closer as the boys walked on stage, shaking hands with the Ray-Ban employee before sitting down on the chair set up and with microphones in their hands. "Before we get this event started, we are raffling off 5 sunglasses with cases signed by the drivers themselves, if you haven't bought tickets, do so now. Carlos and Charles will be answering your questions." The employee said.

The event itself was going well for the first 10 minutes until..

"Charles, are you a fast runner?" A girl asked.

"Not particulary, no, why?" Charles asked.

"Get him!" That same girl said and Charles saw how there were many girls trying to get on stage so Charles did what any guy would do and thats run off the stage and through the exit, 13 girls chasing after him.

"This cannot be happening!" Charles exclaimed to himself. He ran to the parking garage and looked behind him and there were still girls chasing him. He tried to hide behind a car when he bumped into a girl.

"Puta madre, watch where.." Y/N didn't finish her sentence because Charles covered her mouth, pulled her close to him by her waist and slid down the car door, successfully hiding from the girls chasing him. Y/N psuhed his hand away from her mouth. "Huh, well if it isn't the prince of Ferrari."

"Please, call me.." Charles looked into her eyes. "Call me Charles. Sorry about that, occupational hazard." Charles said getting up, dusting himself off. "Allow me." Charles said, helping Y/N off the floor as she dusted herself off as well.

"Does this kind of thing happen often? Being chased by girls?" Y/N asked, looking around the parking garage.

"I don't get chased like this, thats for sure, its more the American fans. But i do get approached often when I am in Monaco." Charles said.

"Well yeah, you're not exactly subtle driving around the country in a fucking sports car that all your fans recognize." Y/N commented.

"So you know a lot about me?" Charles asked with his arms crossed and a stupid smirk on his face.

"Charming, such Libra behavior. Now as you are clearly not in danger from screaming fans and I am nothing but a humble American, I'll leave you to it." Y/N said, about to unlock her car when Charles put his hand over hers.

"Wait, what is your name?" Charles asked.

"Y/N." Y/N responded.

"Do you have anywhere you need to be?" Charles asked.

"Well I'm shopping for my mom's birthday present. I couldn't really do the shopping in this mall." Y/N said.

"Maybe I can help you, as a thank you of course for not blowing my cover." Charles said.

"You gotta lose the Ferrari merch if you don't want to get chase again." Y/N said.

"Oh, of course." Charles said. He took off the Ferrari hoodie he had on and Y/N couldn't help but look when Charles's shirt started riding up when he did so. "Better?"

"I have a Disney baseball cap and sunglasses in my purse, just wear the 'Marvel disguise'." Y/N said laughing as she handed Charles the items and he puts them on.

"Do I look like a normal guy?" Charles asked posing.

"Sure, get in." Y/N said, unlocking her car to get into the driver's seat and Charles circled the car to get into the passenger seat. "Wouldn't your team principal freak out that you are missing?"

"I'll let him know I'm okay, It's only Wednesday, press is not until tomorrow, I think I can have a little fun." Charles said. Y/N started the car and left the parking garage when she got a call from Francesca.

"Digame Fran, como te fue?" Y/N asked her friend.

"Mal, no sabes lo que paso, some girl decided to fucking jump the stage, her and a group of girls chase Charles out of the mall, and now the event is canceled. Like what the fuck. How about you? Did you make it to the other mall?" Francesca asked.

"Actually Fran, you have no idea what happened." Y/N said.

"Hello Fran, how are you?" Charles spoke and Francesca went silent. "Are you alright?" Charles asked again and Francesca screamed.

"You bitch, you have Charles Leclerc in your car?!?" Francesca screamed.

"Relax, he's helping me with something and in turn, he plays hooky until this whole thing blows over." Y/N said. "I'll call you later, okay?" Y/N said, hanging up. "Sorry about her, she is a huge Ferrari fan."

"What about you? Ared you a Ferrari fan?" Charles asked curiously.

"Sorry, red is not my color, I'm a Red Bull fan." Y/N told him. Charles put his hand on his chest.

"Ouch, you hurt me." Charles said and Y/n laughed. "Its such a shame, you would look great in red."

"Charming." Y/N replied.

"So i have been told." Charles said. Y/N played music in the car until they made it to the Dolphin mall. "Miami has a lot of malls."

"Yes, yes it does." Y/N replied before getting out of the car and getting reusable bags from the trunk. "Lets pay for parking."

"You pay to park the car yourself?" Charles asked.

"oh you have so much to learn." Y/N walked to the meter at the entrance of the mall to pay before Y/N grabbed his hand to enter the mall.

"As my tour guide, where do we go first?" Charles asked.

"I wanted to go to Swarovski to get a necklace for my mom." Y/N said.

"Any stores you want to go to?" Charles asked.

"There is a Saks Off Fifth but I don't think I have enough money." Y/N said. Charles pulled out his wallet.

"I'll pay." Charles said but Y/N shook her head.

"There is no way I can let you do that." Y/N said.

"I insist. You are helping me a lot by treating me like a regular guy. Its the least I can do, you are babysitting me after all." Charles said.

"Well I can't argue with that." Y/N said.

That is exactly what happened, Charles helped Y/N pick out a necklace with matching earrings for Y/N's mom and paid for it. Charles was very insistent in Y/N trying on clothes from different stores she wanted to look at. When Charles saw Y/N's eyes light up in a certain item, he always said "Do not look at the price tag, do you like it? Do you want to get it? Then its done, I'll buy it for you." Charles ended up carrying Y/N's shopping bags after every trip. They went to the food court and Charles also paid for their lunch, they sat in a far away booth.

"So how did you get into F1?" Charles asked, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Well my dad is a fan, we like Checo Perez because he is Mexican, Latino power and all that." Y/N said, eating her Chinese food.

"So that is why you are a Red Bull fan, good to know." Charles said.

"Yep, that's why. I hate to ruin the moment, but what happens after today?" Y/N asked.

"Well I wouldn't see you in person until the next Miami GP, but we could talk everyday if you give me your phone number, If you want fo course, I liked spending the day with you." Charles admitted.

"I liked spending the day with you too, I never had a guy friend before so this type of relationship is new to me, but i don't hate it." Y/N replied. Charles got out his phone.

"Here, put your contact in." Charles handed Y/N his phone. Y/N added her name and her photo, han ding it back to Charles. "'Y/N American', very cute." Charles said.

"why thank you." Y/N did the nose scrunch and Charles found it adorable. "Now do you want to buy anything sir or are you okay? It's almost 5 and tomorrow is your media day." Y/n said.

"yeah, we can go." Charles said, they finished their food, threw out their garbage, left the mall, and went to Y/N's car, she got in front of his hotel. "You should come over one day." Charles said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"If your team principal says its okay." Y/N said.

"I'll make sure he says its okay, see you around." Charles said, leaving the car. Y/N drove back to her house, her parents watching TV in the living room.

"Como te fue, mija?" Y/N's mom asked.

"Me fue bien, Mami, luego te cuento." Y/N said, dropping off her bags in her room. She closed her door and collapsed on her bed when she got a text.

Unknown number: Fred said its okay, whenever you want to come over, let me know.

Unknown number: It is Charles by the way.

Y/n laughed and replied to him.

You: Sounds like a plan, I'll let you know, Charlie.

Y/N saved Charles's number as Charlie and sighed. Today was a good day.

The End

Hope y'all liked it, if you did, maybe I can write more, I don't know, I need more Latina representation. Up to you if you want more or if i should just stick to reading F1 fanfics.

[thegnomelord]

Ohm nom - 🦈 (I have some news, I was doing some research on DnD species and found a humanoid shark species called Sharkin. I though yo! Thats fin-flipin awesome but um there is one paragraph that made me take a backturn. I highlighted the main bits "Sharkin fought with and hunted any sort of creature that looked either powerful or threatening to them, including dinosaurs and dragons, making them top predators inside and outside of water. They are hated by most if not all surface dwelling races, making them enemy number one to almost everyone. They are even hated and despised by dragons, since the first time they killed an adult red dragon. This was not a one time problem, and has caused a bitter rivalry between the Dragons and Sharkins. They favored the taste of dragon flesh, from that day onward it became the largest badge of honor available for a Sharkin to hunt and kill a dragon. This then henceforth became a great and mighty challenge, for a member of the Sharkin royal family to hunt and bag a dragon, the bigger the better. The royal family loved the taste of dragons so much they made it their most favored treat among all other delicacies of their people. They often form hunting parties specifically to hunt and bag a dragon for any special occasion or festival. This made any and all dragon absolutely despise Sharkin, for they looked at them as prey and dragons being the vain creatures they are hate them. A dragon that sees a Sharkin will immediate become enraged and will do whatever it can to kill and devour it." NOW reasonably i was quite frazzled and immedietly though about our lil Shark captain of our lil marine team, thats partnered, HAND in HAND with a Dragon Captain. But then another idea came to me, this Sharkin species, (despite how cool they are and i still love) are built on the sterotype that Shark are horrendous terrifying vicous, agreesive creature. When in reality Sharks are just fish puppies that could murder you if you pissed them off enough. So that got me thinking, what if due to rumours, shark hybrids were thought to be Dangerous and Hazordous species, due to horrendous strerotypes, and a movie, most were meant to be cool, but were misinterpited so badly that people started getting afriad of them and in turn, aggressive towards. This is mainly based on a real thing, Both the author of Jaws, Peter Benchley, and the director, Steven Spielberg, regret the negative impact the film had on shark populations and the perpetuation of shark stereotypes. So people think that the captains would naturally butt heads, due to sterotypes and rumours that nearly brought the two species to war. (Which was luckily debunked way before anything got violent and now both species are currently fighting against anything harmful towards the other. Creating the oddest but oddly wholesome cross-species relationships. ) Only to find out the two are bound by the hip. waz your take? *Administer Foreheads Kisses*)

Oh yeah, I know the jaws effect lol It's fascinating how fiction can influence reality and reality can influence fiction, sorry this took so long and is so rough, but I got hit with the InspirationTM in the middle of the night lol.

CW:SFW, Price x male reader, monster au,

------------------------------

At first sight, the feelings you and the good captain had for each other could be considered tense professionalism at best and disdain at worst. It isn't a surprise why that is; the hate and suspicion running between your species is old and deep like the trenches. Dragons hardly want to be a shark's dinner, and a shark would rather not become soup.

Still, the peace between your species held, and so did the tense relationship between you two. To the others it looked like you never agreed; they've lost count how many times you and Price had spent hours arguing over battle plans. How you two would release all the anger you had in the ring, so much so you had to spar outside because the military didn't have the funds to fix the ring after every match. How you would bare your teeth and Price would snarl and growl at you at every little argument, thinly veiled insults flying like bullets out of your mouths.

What they didn't know was how softly Price would purr when you two laid in bed, how gently his claws traced your shark hide along your torso. Sprawled out over your chest like you're his mountain of golden coins, more a cat than a dragon really, Price is the picture perfect example of bliss.

"Comfortable huh?" You hum, carding your clawed fingers through his hair, taking the time to scratch around the base of his horns.

"Mhm," He hums, content blue eyes closing as he leans into your touch. "Finally a moment to ourselves." Price chuckles, nuzzling his head into your neck. He breathes in your scent with a happy sigh, sharp fangs nibbling on your throat, the comforting scent calming his mind.

"Uhuh," You chuckle in turn, "The boys sure know how to keep us on our toes." You grin and your hand slides down from his head to his back, even gentler there as you trace the scar where his wing used to be. His remaining wing stretches out, weakly shaking as if trying to stretch, before it falls back down to lay on the bed and hang off it.

Price shivers, a low sound rumbling from his chest. "Can't leave those muppets alone for a moment." He huffs. "Did you see MacTavish? The lad nearly lost his tail because of his toy." A soft growl slips past his lips, neither of you had been pleased when Soap's tail got caught on fire thanks to his explosive he swore was 'safe'. Price's tail curls around yours, and though your tail is too rigid to do the same, he can still feel you reciprocate in the way your tail tip wags like a dog's.

"He's your problem in the morning." Your words earn you a sharp nip at your throat, more of an admonishment than an actual threat. "Ow." You say, in revenge pinching his pudgy side.

"You deserve it." Price laughs, forked tongue licking up the stray drops of blood that leak down from where his teeth had cut your skin. Placing a hand on your chest Price rises just enough to catch your lips in a slow kiss. You can taste your blood on his tongue, along with cigar smoke and something inherently draconic that makes your mouth water for a bite of his flesh.

But his kisses are enough to quench your hunger, gun calloused hands holding your head still so he can pepper kisses along your brows and down your nose, on each cheek and down your jaw. There's no need to rush when the night is dark and the sun isn't ready to rise yet.

It's peaceful.

The door slams open, light and voices flooding in "Captains we need-" Johnny's voice pitters off as he takes in the sight, bright eyes glowing in the darkness "-you..."

Not so peaceful.

[jams-sims]

I wrote a whole ass essay for Philza now Im gonna do it for Jaiden. In defense of the lack of content with Jaiden in it (real quick). Being an old goat of fandoms I can explain it (don't worry this won't take long and also it plays into her character's overarching narrative of a grieving mother.) Plain in simple women in Minecraft are notorious for getting shit on by the collective fandom. (Everyone has to take part in making sure that it stops happening.) She is mainly a YouTuber which makes a dissonance between mainly youtube viewers and Twitch watchers. So it's harder to catch her just because you have to go to another site. Also, she doesn't stream as often as everyone else. This makes for a lack of content, just because Jaiden is just a low-key person. This is the recipes for a lack of content BUT that does not excuse people who are being weird to her or think she's in the way of any ships etc etc.

BUT

Narratively speaking all of those things above make for perfect storytelling. (below the cut I go deep into Jaiden character I mean I go DEEP)

Even though Jaiden has the support of the whole island. At the end of the day- she goes back to that same house. Climbs to the very top and she fall asleep on the chair facing the sunset. This means that everyone else has moved on, especially Roier. She is forever stuck in that same place.

I can't be the only one who noticed every single stream, she logs out at the house. BY HERSELF (I think Roier built? Someone corrects me if I'm wrong.) It's so subtle that you wouldn't even notice it at first.

When asked where she was living by Etolies. She doesnt say her and roier house, she doesn't even say where bobby use to live. She specifically says " I am squating in Roier old house". She puts herself on the outskirts of what is further from the truth. Shes not squating in roier house im 100% sure Roier shares everything with her. It is her home too!

Next when it came to the marriage between cellbit and Roier. She was surprised that she was even invite. Its as if as soon as Bobby died all her friendships and relationships died with him. No matter how many people are around her she has this ice wall of isolation and deep lonely-ness.

Her grieiving is less theratical than Charlies its so sudtle that you can miss it. While Roier throw himself into drink and into a relationship. (Which has admitedly worked out in his favor. He gets a husband a new son, a world of love. Something that can lessen the sting of Bobbys death.)

Jaiden on the other hand threw herself into a a impossible task, "protect the eggs." She doesn't know anything about any group or fractions. That is her only wish and the federation saw that and picked her to use. She has nothing everyone else has seemingly moved on of course. They haven't stopped investigating but they death of Bobby mostly everyone has moved on. Besides Jaiden this is her driving force so no one will suffer like she did. (on a side note her and Charlie should team up for lore and to both work for the federations.)

ITS PREFECT! Oh are you greiving has everyone else seemingly moved on? Your friendly neighborhood bear has a book full of instructions. Don't think, I'll guide you.

Before it fell apart the federation was going to secretly use Jaiden and she was going to do everything alone. But because Jaiden can't keep a secret to save her life. This leads to everyone realizing how at risk Jaiden is at being used. They are all with her in an instant. But part of her character is now that she sides with the Fedration and no one sees it yet. While everyone else think they are the bad guy. Her story is shifting because cucurucho is there, because cucurucho is nice to her, because Jaiden is cucurucho favorite.

She is being drawn in whether she knows it or not to be om their side. Think of it this way-

Fit is team: Spy thats off the island

Cellbit and Crew are team: AntiFederation

Jaiden the one that is left alone is the perfect choice to slowly pull her onto the federation side. It's perfect! The self isolation, the want to connect but feeling like she can't. It would be so easy for someone to take advantage of that.

[spacelazarwolf]

i know you’re not my therapist but i see some people asking you for advice so i hope this is okay, feel free to ignore it: just… the way transmascs and transmasc issues are treated by society at large is really getting to me and affecting my mental health. even trying to access “trans” resource centers or resources in general and they’re geared primarily towards transfems or they see that im not a trans woman and their tone towards me completely shifts in a negative way, transmasc issues at large being willfully ignored, i mean just about the only place i see anyone talk about them without immediately getting attacked is on tumblr and even then the conversations get shut down. I’m scared to talk about feeling alienated as a trans man with a therapist because i’m scared of them shutting me down even though thats the exact opposite of what therapists are supposed to do. it just feels like people don’t even want us to exist. my mental health is reeeally suffering because of this and i feel like i can’t talk about this to anyone. like… there has to be a way it gets better right?

it absolutely does get better. in terms of online experience, use the block button liberally. it's something i'm trying to do better about myself, just not giving people the time of day who won't engage in good faith. my block list must be a whole archive by now.

in terms of in person experience, i was really surprised by how many other trans men and trans mascs immediately opened up when i brought up the feelings of isolation i was struggling with. it's definitely something that's still taboo to talk about, but if you find those spaces where you can just sit down and talk candidly, it's a really healing experience. if you need to kind of dip your toe in first to see how they'll react, that's fine, but seriously i was shocked when i started connecting with more trans men and trans mascs in my area and there was this immediate, huge sigh of relief when i tentatively brought up those topics. i've also talked to a lot of trans women and trans femmes and nonbinary people in general irl who are very receptive as well, and often open up about the ways it affects them as well. there's more of us out here who want things to get better than tumblr dot com would have us believe.

[mrs-monaghan]

https://twitter.com/parkordie/status/1714224017907839040

Nah cuz these drags won't work for Jimin lol

First of all, JIMIN is literally a unisex name which is especially given for baby girls in SK. So there's no need to add anything to make it more girly lmao. His name is commonly used by girls anyway.. we have many girl idols named Jimin but uses stage names because JIMIN is owned by mimi 🤷‍♀️

Second, people really think saying he looks like a woman is offensive ? The same person who asked 'what the heck is men ?', Regularly wears women clothing, drew a bigender tattoo on himself, thinks he looks beautiful when dressed as a girl, calls himself pretty, pretite and delicate, chose modern dance and ballet as his major which are not commonly done by men and is frowned upon in SK, repeated he's NOT manly multiple times in a single interview, likes to keep his body dainty, want to make his booty even bigger, used a woman as his reflection and is VERY fluid with his gender identity representation 🙄🙄 More than anyone else Jimin knows his feminine side and fucking embrace it proudly

If him, his dad and mom, his partner, his members, his freinds and his stans doesn't have a single problem with him not being the usual 'manly' guy then who tf have a problem with how he carries himself ?

The way it's mostly JK solos trying to drag him for this.. are they worried whether he'll steal their man or what 👀👀 or that their 'straight' man won't be able to resist a pretty Jimin around ? Is JK that weak for pretty dainty boys shaz ? 🤔

While reading your ask it took me back to this moment

(Thanks @sarah2711)

RM literally short circuited 🤣😂😂😂 I can't with this clip coz RM takes me out every single time. 😆😆😆😆😆 Dead.

(Me digressing in 1....2.....)

I am surprised that JK doesn't seem to be simping here considering the fact that Jimin was super pissed during this bomb

coz JK wanted him to be in that snow white costume so badly.

Analysis no one asked for in 1....2....

Okay so Jhope says loser will have to dress up as snow white. If you look at Jimin's face, he is not happy

But the best part for me is how JK is looking right at him 🤭🤭

Yes... so are RM and Jhope but there is a reason I'm highlighting JK 😆😆

So Jhope says how this was all JK's idea. But look at Jimin's face when he says "that's right"

This tells me Jimin knew why JK wanted him in that dress. He hee. Jin confirms that this idea is quite recent.

RM concurs adding in this little detail:

Thats the face of a cheeky man up to no good 🤭 Especially when Jhope repeats the rule... and while Jimin is frothing at the mouth 👇🏽 JK is watching him looking quite excited about the prospect of the loser being snow white

We know JK expected Jimin to lose because that's what happens more often than not. Jimin always looses in RPS and JK was counting on this happening. But Mimi wasn't having it and not only can u tell because of how mad he looks, but also because he does the tongue in cheek thing

And we all know depending on the context, this is usually a sign of annoyance.

So the members start to play and guess who JK is watching 😏😏

The reason why this analysis is most probably accurate is because of the face Jimin makes when JK wins dramatically

Did you see that? Okay I will clip just Jimin's face since he moves too quickly for a proper screenshot. But just look how done he is. Zoom in and u can see it even better.

For reasons only known to Jikook, JK really wanted Jimin to be snow white and Jimin was 1300% done with his boyfriend.

Is JK that weak for pretty dainty boys Shaz?

Hmm 🤔

Anon,

[transmutationisms]

sorry could you explain your chatgpt essay thing again? i get the general gist of it (who cares if they cheat) but i still cant grasp it entirely as someone who hasnt experienced the college system 💔 i had thought that essays were a foundational part of undergrad education? and so cheating on that part would essentially mean that: a) their education/understanding is "invalid" b) it discredits the work of other people in the same system/their classmates c) their future publications/written work in academia are going to be of worse quality d) in cases of people going to non academia jobs, like being a doctor or a lawyer, this would negatively impact their clients e) they have bad work ethic = will not survive job industry

my guesses are that just in general theres no direct correlation between these things but ppl assume there will be? and that if a plagiarized essay ruins everything then the system wasnt rlly that good?

the only one im rlly unsure of is the second one, but i suppose thats always been a problem with any type of academic cheating amongst peers, and will persist unless academic rankings/validation of excellence/general attitudes toward "success" r also banished. still, while i rlly dont care abt anyone i know cheating on stuff like this lol, i cant help but empathize w students struggling under that same system feeling frustrated. tho Man seeing the lack of empathy they, in turn, can have with chatgpt users. idk, is it just a lose lose situation until you get through the system?

ok sorry again and also thanks

hi, no worries. let me try to break down my position here.

i had thought that essays were a foundational part of undergrad education

i mean, this varies widely by course / degree / department. but, even when it's true, it doesn't mean that the essay is inherently a valuable or helpful exercise. undergrad essays tend to ask for one of a few very formulaic responses and ways of structuring an argument. essays also often have a specific prompt, which can be better or worse in terms of its potential to generate engagement with the course / material. often professors who are getting a lot of chatgpt essays turned in are designing essays poorly (ie, asking for the types of formulaic responses that students find unengaging and unhelpful for their own academic development), and / or failing to provide instruction and support in how to actually write an essay.

on a more fundamental level, we often take for granted that essays are and should be foundational to an undergrad education, but i simply don't think this is self-evident or always true! what are we training students to do, and why? there are certainly jobs, career paths, and academic research areas in which essay-writing is an important skill. there are others in which it's not. the assumption that all undergrads need to demonstrate the same sorts of writing skills says more about the university and what pedagogues value than it does about those students' actual chances for future career success / financial stability. if we're designing assignments that, for many students, are mere hoops to jump through, then we shouldn't be surprised that many of them find ways to make the hoop-jumping faster and easier.

so cheating on that part would essentially mean that: a) their education/understanding is "invalid"

again, what i'm trying to get at here is larger questions about what we value in education, and why. it's true that if you don't practice writing the type of essay the academy demands of you, you won't learn that skill. but, why do we assume that skill is useful, valuable, or necessary in the first place? how many people actually need to write that way outside of undergrad classrooms? even for those who are intending to pursue a career in academia, the writing taught in undergrad should be, at best, a stepping-stone on the path to more effective and interesting means of written communication. once again, if the skill being mandated by the university is not useful for students, it should not be surprising that many of them resent having to demonstrate it, and turn to tools like chatgpt instead.

b) it discredits the work of other people in the same system/their classmates

this is an argument that many educators make, and i wholeheartedly disagree with it! first of all, i simply do not believe that student a's academic performance is relevant to the assessment of student b's. if a professor is grading that way, that's terrible grading and a terrible pedagogical philosophy. if a student has learned something from their coursework, that shouldn't be undercut or devalued by anything that their classmates have or haven't done.

what this type of argument points to on a deeper level is the fact that university degrees have acquired a sort of double meaning. although the university likes to propagate high-minded rhetoric about the intrinsic value of education, the degree granted is a class barrier that serves to allow certain people access to certain (usually promised to be higher-paying) jobs, and bar others from these jobs. this is a large part of what i'm talking about when i say that the university serves to perpetuate and enforce class stratification. and their narrative about degrees being markers of individual merit and achievement is undercut by the fact that they also plainly fear losing prestige status by granting degrees to those students considered 'unworthy'. if you can make it through an undergrad education without learning the skills the university purports to teach, that's a pretty massive indictment of the university—which, remember, is collecting a lot of tuition money for these degrees.

c) their future publications/written work in academia are going to be of worse quality

lots of assumptions baked in here—that undergrad essay-writing teaches 'good' (effective / clear) writing; that many academics don't already write poorly by these metrics; that aspiring academics have no other way of learning written communication skills (eg, outside of the academy, or in grad school).

d) in cases of people going to non academia jobs, like being a doctor or a lawyer, this would negatively impact their clients

firstly, i would again point out that in many non-academic jobs, academic writing is simply not a necessary skill; secondly, in both of the examples you cite here, these are people who need to go through a lot more schooling and training after undergrad, where they pick up what written communication skills they actually do need (eg, legal writing looks nothing like standard undergrad essay-writing anyway); thirdly, MANY people getting an undergraduate degree are intending to pursue jobs for which they need neither undergrad essay-writing skills, nor further higher education—there are so many reasons a person might want / need a college degree, and so many careers in which this specific academic skillset is simply not relevant for them.

e) they have bad work ethic = will not survive job industry

again, i think this is making some pretty big unstated assumptions! in general i don't really think that 'work ethic' (or the related 'laziness') is a useful way to try to evaluate people's behaviour, and this is a good example of one way in which it fails. if, like i said, we are dealing with a system in which people are told they need to receive a degree in order to have access to jobs they want and financial stability they need; and in which many of them are being forced to demonstrate a specific writing skill they may never need again and may have no interest in; and in which they are often not even receiving adequate training and help to learn and demonstrate that skill, even if they do want to; and in which they may be working other jobs, caring for family members, dealing with disabilities the institution does not provide support for, or any number of other life circumstances that make schoolwork difficult at best to complete; and in which a tool exists that may be able to help them complete some of this work freely and quickly... like, i simply do not fault students for using that tool!

there are so many points of failure in this system long before we get to this moment: the increasing pressure to get a college degree in the first place; the poorly designed curricula that prioritise skills considered 'standard' (for whom? why?) over skills that students actually need or want to acquire; professors who don't actually teach students how to write, yet expect them to turn in essay assignments anyway; specific essay assignments that are uninteresting and / or unhelpful to students; lack of support for students who are struggling with their workload or assignments in any number of ways (and no, 'come to office hours' is not adequate support for so many students and situations).

i simply do not care about people 'cheating' a system that is so fundamentally broken and unjust. it doesn't matter. the ability to write an undergrad essay is such an incredibly trivial and specific skill, and one that most people simply do not need. it doesn't make a person generally 'smarter' (fake concept) and certainly does not make them any more competent at the vast majority of jobs, careers, or general life skills. even for those very few who do need to know this specific thing, i reject the assumption that the university is the only way to learn it, or even a particularly effective way. once again, if chatgpt is successfully completing assignments, maybe those assignments weren't very good in the first place! and even the theoretical amazing professor is simply not able to counter all of the structural issues and inequities in the university system that produce students' desire to turn to tools like chatgpt in the first place. the textbot itself is simply not the issue here.

[suburbanbonfire]

tagged by @18minutemajor for a hockey art share tag game! I enjoy talking about myself but am terrible at posting so this is perfect. i WILL talk too much, this is a threat.

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favourite hockey art, then tag three hockey artists.

FIRST ART

I made the Kraken Orb (Korb) at the end of the 22-23 season, as a commemoration, although a sort of ironic one considering i had only gotten into hockey in time for the playoffs so there are a couple players here i actually never got to see play at all before making this (Joonas, Jaycob, Burky, Fleury)

it was a whole lot of fun though! Prior to this i was in a months-long art slump after leaving a fandom, so it was a total surprise to have hockey of all things be what revitalized my art.

technically, the very first hockey art from this was Matty; you can kinda tell by the way his lines are a bit thicker than the rest since i wasn't in my groove yet. i also knew coming in that i wanted to arrange the faces in a circle, but didn't plan out beyond that, so i just made sure that i was getting a variety of head directions in my references and hoped for the best. My favorites from this are Gru, Soucy, Dunn, Schultz, Borgen, and Eeli. I think they all turned out really well.

LATEST ART

MEAT CUT MEAT CUT

this one is fun for me because it's quite different from my usual style of art, with lineart and non-realistic forms/face. I've had the concept in my head for awhile after hearing/reading so many interesting descriptions of the physical qualities that good hockey players possess.

'Sacrifice the Body' actually came in mid-art when i had an epiphany doing something like driving my car or an activity similarly unrelated. Before that, it was going to be a lil heart drawn on the chest and the going contender for the label was 'Ferda.' which would've been great, but sacrifice the body just worked too dang well with the themes.

FAVORITE ART

i mean, c'mon. it's gotta be this one.

my magnum opus, my white whale. it came out even better than i saw it in my head and i love everything about it. when i came up with the idea, i had TOTALLY forgotten that Climate Pledge has those giant windows, so when i set out to find references and saw it, it instantly made everything even better with LIGHTING!!!!

It was my first time drawing this kind of interior architecture and although there's definitely things i would do differently now, im so so proud of how it looks and turned out. I was also still drawing through my decade-old laptop at that point, so I had to split up the work on this into two files - i sketched everything, then worked ONLY on the bg until it was about 90% done, then made a flattened copy to open as a new file to draw the players on top of.

I also have a bunch of WIP shots of it in my drafts I guess I'll throw in here now!

initial sketch to get down the composition before i remembered the window | lines of the building! i actually found a 3d virtual tour of CPA from before it was built which had the PERFECT angle, so i screencapped that and straight up traced the architecture. Ultimately, the scoreboard and the paint lines ended up getting moved around.

planning out my lighting in greyscale (i really need to do this more often, i struggle with values so much, alas) | in progress bg! at this point, the ice and the boards/glass were the only things completed. I eventually said 'fuck it' to being able to see the areas behind the stands like you could in all my references, and just put the people dots all the way up.

Now the most gut-wrenching part

THE TAGS

this is where me being bad at posting comes into play, because instead i just lurk and thats not great for forming connections HERE GOES

@ruinedcasket - it has been awesome seeing your art progress! would love 2 hear your thoughts about it

@rouzys - your kraken stuff is so pretty, love how you capture likenesses

oh god oh fuck everyone else i know has already been tagged fuck oh sshit

If You Are An Artist On Hockey Twit And See This, It Is A Sign

[the-astrophel-system]

Why Our Alters Mask

tw // brief mentions of ramcoa (no details), using peoples triggers against them, ableism, family being uneducated, brief mentions of deadnaming and misgendering

so, we have a therapist who doesn't specialise in dissociative disorders. but for right now, shes kinda our only option (which is fine, we like her).

but we were talking in our session yesterday and she asked if our mum was aware of our alters and was accepting and stuff. its complicated, but the answer is yes. she's still a bit hesitant, but accepts the fact that we think we have this disorder.

anyway, we mentioned to our therapist that she has been introduced to a few different alters, but we mask almost constantly, so its not like she picks up on it herself.

and our therapist was confused.

again, this is someone who doesn't specialise in this sort of thing, so we do have to talk about our experience and those of people in the community (but y'know she also does have access to scientific and professional stuff, so its not like we're going "our system is the only way it can present").

but i was SO surprised that she was surprised that so many systems mask.

i explained that if you freely drop the mask, thats gonna inform your abusers that what they're doing is working in their favour. they'll learn triggers and use that to their advantage. now, im coming at this from a organic system's pov, we haven't been programmed, nor am i claiming that if systems unmask, they'll automatically be a victim of programming, or later-in-life abuse where the abuser is trying to manipulate the system.

i told our therapist that if you give out your triggers, or you start presenting these switches, people can pick up on those patterns and then use that to their advantage. i clarified and said that i dont think our mum or family would do this to us, its just very very vulnerable and can be dangerous if we unmask completely.

even comments like "you're acting grouchy today", "stop being so childish", and "you never act like this". can all hurt so much and make the system or that particular alter feel guilty for existing the way they do. it would be amazing to unmask around family, but when i have before, i get told im being rude or mean, when thats just how i interact with people. i tease, im a bit blunt, and i tend to swear a lot. im not trying to be rude or offensive, but i constantly feel like an asshole if i do unmask, just because this edgy exterior is who i am.

it can also sometimes be embarrassing for other alters when you do unmask. im sometimes embarrassed by other parts interests, clothes, attitudes, and more. its internalised shit and im working on it. but if we were to unmask, im so worried people wont take me seriously, just because they know of a part who acts differently. and that sucks so much.

another thing is getting told shit like "this is all so confusing", "you have too many alters, how am i supposed to keep track", "you're placing the blame elsewhere because you dont want to admit what you did wrong". comments like that suck so fucking much. i hate them, they hurt, and they're based in misunderstanding.

having many alters (even just any number over 10) can be extremely confusing to others. but i haven't met a single system who expects others to fully know of, remember, and relate to all their alters. all i ask is you accept each new part and if you do happen to remember some names, thats awesome.

it also connects to a lot of gender shit, which our family struggles with. we still cant get them to use our preferred name or pronouns, and we feel like we're too much if we share that we have multiple parts that use different or multiple pronouns. i get that it can be confusing, i understand, especially because my family doesn't see me all that often and if my name and pronouns change each time we see them, it will be a lot to remember. i get it. but my family fills me with so much fear because i feel like they wont try. they wont try to connect with, or understand me. its not fair and its incredibly isolating.

we've also been told that we're placing the blame of negative actions, onto other alters. which, we never do btw. the only time we "shift the blame" is if we try to explain that we don't fully remember what we said or did, because of amnesia. we always try to take responsibility, its just not seen as fair for people to say we're "shifting the blame" any time we try to explain what is going on for us internally. our did isn't an excuse, but its an explanation, yet no one lets us explain.

i explained most of this to my therapist and said that one day we can hopefully be able to unmask more around our family (or even just our mum and brother) so we're less drained all the time. we would get less comments like "why aren't you talking to me", "you're so grouchy", "why are you watching (x show) thats for kids". and more comments like "oh is it (x alter)? thats okay, i wont be mad if you need some time alone", "oh! watching (x show), is this a good episode?", "hey, it seems like (x alter) or (y alter) might be around. i know you're very blunt but just remember to be kind towards your brother", "im not sure if you remember yesterday, but (x alter) and i started this conversation, would you like to talk to me about this, or would you like to wait until (x alter) is back?". or whatever the comments are.

accepting that we are slightly different and not expecting consistency of behaviour, likes, or memories, is so important to us. who knows if this will ever happen for us, idk i guess we wait and see

- virgil (he/him)

[spinaroos-47]

It’s the kiddos!

These four are kingdings fankids me and @bernardo-draws-and-cries have had for a while (as in, Bethany and Lancer exist since 2016, Belle and Aster since 2017). I decided to do some small redesigns for them!

Or for their humanized forms, at least. It’s been 7 years and I don’t feel comfortable in delving on their more canon accurate versions (Bê has them)

They’re part of an au we have together, HCWT, they also appear on other aus that we’ve delved into in the many years of kingdings brainrot we had. But HCWT is their main place. That being said, there is a lot of stuff that is muddy/vague since it’s such an old au that we haven’t touched in a few years, and also we’ve done so many iterations of it that it’s hard to know what is canon now. I’m going to be kinda basing it on the original fanfic we had for it for a lot of the basic stuff. (it was written in portuguese so not super accessible for most people reading this)

More information on them below the read more

They all have font names, I’m still surprised that I managed to find fonts for Bethany and Belle after they were created (Bethany Script and La Belle Aurore respectively)

Also they all appear in different ages in the au(s), these are just the most seen ones. Bethany also is shown a lot when she’s five, and both Belle and Aster when they’re older. Sometimes also they are in different age order and stuff, but I’m just going to talk about the HCWT version on the ages shown here. There’s a lot of old stuff for a lot of the other aus in my artblog that i never shown here, This blog actually was originally an ask blog for an underfell au where only Aster and Belle existed.

- Bethany is the oldest, both in creation order and in universe. Her childhood is a bit of a muddy area since we haven’t touched that part of the au in a while, but for now, she was born a few years before the pacifist ending happens. In HCWT we have her being the next one in line for running human-monster deals after Asgore retires from that, I don’t really see Asriel or Chara being too excited to do that, but she’s pretty up for the task.

(Chara and Asriel are brought back in the au also)

She’s a pretty no nonsense kind of person, but she lets herself be a goof around her sibilings, friends and nibilings/cousins (thats a worm hole im not willing to deal with right now). She also has a best friend called Daniel, not pictured here, and she’s a bit of the voice of reason of the two, but she’s often part of the shenanigans. They end up living together a while after.

Very strong also, took it after Asgore, could lift all her sibilings + Gaster all at once.

- Lancer is a bit funny to share with people after Deltarune released, I’m still a bit shocked at this coincidence. Not a lot of what he does is set in stone, a pretty wild card in this sense. Nice, kind kid, helps a lot on Asgore’s flower shop after school and on weekends. He’s blind and got a guide dog named Jack, which does end up being how he meets his girlfriend Berry, who was working as a volunteer when he went to get Jack. I got a very soft spot for him, he’s just a little guy, sunshine impersonated.

- Belle is a big book worm since small, it came from a way to pass the time when she can’t do much physically demanding things, like Aster does. So she spends a lot of time with Gaster, becoming a bit of an assistant to him as she gets older. And while she does look and act pretty chill most of the time, she is an anger bomb, very short tempered. Scary angry little goat-skele. Years later she begins dating a human named Barbara.

- Aster! My baby boy! Liddle man! I love him so much. He’s a very athletic kid, loves sports, grows up to be a manlet, almost a himbo, but he’s pretty smart. They love each other, but he and Belle are the two most likely to butt heads around the house, being the two most hot headed ones in there. He also begins dating some years down the line, with a spider mosnter named Epaminondas (Epa for short).

This is just the tip of the iceberg of HCWT, there’s a lot more in it, but I wanted to focus on these four lil fellas :] Probably not going to share much more stuff about it, if at all here, but this was fun to revisit!

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Just some writing musings

Around the end of last year, I made the choice to stop posting most of my WIPs. I was starting to get more and more of the "When are you going to update" type of comments. and that was really cancelling out the joy i'd get from other comments.

It's been good in some ways...

I no longer feel like a content vending machine.

I'm not as stressed about whether or not readers will like where im going with a story.

I no longer feel guilty about irl getting in the way

For the WIPs I am still posting on ( the huge Sailor Moon series sequel and the SM / HP crossover... theyre so niche that I feel like people have been reading it so long that theres not as many update requests. the folks reading that have been with me through grad school. they know i'll finish it... and they do get mammoth sized chapters so I guess that balances out...)

But I have noticed that for the wips im not posting... Out of Reach, Unbroken, Universe to Bend, the rest of the Voyager rewrites... not posting as I go hasnt changed my excitement for them but dear god, It has tanked my writing pace.

Doing monthly writeathons with other writing folks has helped me fill in that motivation gap.

So do betas when i have them, to an extent (but betaing for me is a lot of work. i hate asking that of people).

Collabs have gone really really well - it's easy to get inspired when someone else is there going back and forth feeding your creativity.

But I seriously miss the inspiration / motivation boost that came from meaty comments. fangirling-comments, analysis-comments, questioning-what-would-happen-next comments, things-that-surprised-people comments, how-emotional-a-scene-made-them-in-public comments. I loved those discussions. and they really helped spark my inspiration for whatever the next scene had to be.

I didn't receive those comments very often though. so i do have to acknowledge that when they did help me write when life was busy, it was also not something i could rely on.

Writing is fun. Finishing long stories is hard. theyre a project. theyre work. theyre time and brain power intensive. Is feels ridiculous to say my hobby is hard and i still love the hobby, but it is true.

So back to the connundrum i've been at for a while. When I am low on time/energy to be creative: how do i make writing logistically easier, lacking outside inspiration or motivation boost? (will a physical journal help? phone reminders? scheduling writing blocks has been hit or miss) Or if i cant make writing logistically easier - how do i gain that motivator / inspiration to make it worthwhile? (writeathons help. betas when i dont feel guilty for how much effort that is. do i just make a private ao3 collection for WIPs and only invite readers who like to give meaty comments. that seems silly but thats a bit where im at with this)

For other writers (fanfic or otherwise) who struggle to write when theyre busy with irl. im curious what kind of solutions you have. bc i dont see life getting less busy or brain-power-consuming...

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

followup fun facts about together, to that promised aquarium

this is gonna be just kinda a disorganized post of random things so uh. dont mind that.

the event title is actually a double reference ^^ its both a callback to 1dt with 1c promising to find time to do things as friends despite getting busier (even if theres no ichika this time), and also a reference to harusakis first kizuna!

colopale you still havent given us that aquarium they said theyd go to. theres a reason i had to do it myself. the fact that theres not an aquarium event in general is a crime tbh i know theres some romantic connotations with a pair going to an aquarium but theres very easy solutions to avoiding that? sending a group of 3+ characters together, having them run into other characters while there, inviting someone else along (even if they cant go, it helps make it feel more like a friend thing i think). i did a bit of the latter two, as you mightve noticed! in general though its just SUCH an obviously fun event theme i cant beleive we havent had one yet

while i am a known harusaki shipper, i kept the story pretty light on the stuff that could be read as explicitly shippy, since when im trying to make fake events, i like to think about how itd work in canon, which means keeping it low on explicit ship content. plenty of stuff that could be taken as ship food (as id like it to be!) but nothing that would alienate non shippers from enjoying the story too.

i actually didnt write shizukasas presence as intended for ship content at all though, but im definitely okay with people taking it that way lol they can be on a date too if you want them to be. my plan with them was simply theyre childhood friends too but dont get to spend time together that often anymore -> their schedules line up with a free day and tsukasa heard about the aquarium from saki, decides to invite shizuku to go there with him as a part of hanging out together -> surprise encounter with harusaki!

also both of them were scoring quite high on the form when i decided to lock in the lineup (tsukasa was absolutely sweeping the 2* category, and while shizuku wasnt winning anything, she was a pretty popular choice) and theyre very easy to work into a story together and also into a story that is focused on harusaki (╯▽╰ ) the benefits of siblings and unitmates

(tsukasa 2* poll sweep at the time of me solidifying my lineup)

the event and gacha names actually both came to me one night while i was about to fall asleep. struck by inspiration so strong i had to grab my phone and write them down in my notes app. and they actually worked very well! also heres the transparents of the logos if you want them i guess

the card/skill/costume names also mostly came to me in similar ways, in the last couple nights before i finished everything. i think only saki, luka, and shizukus skills didnt come to me that way.

while the rui fish in tsukasa card might be obvious, theres actually more animals referencing other characters too! theres a group of three fish in sakis card that are the colors of the rest of leoni, the sneakiest of the bunch, and also not quite as sneaky but maybe not as obvious as the rui fish is the airi and minori sea slugs :)

i did think about giving tsukasa fish to be emu and nene too, but that many differently colored fish in a 2* seemed like too much, so i didnt do it... at least of the units involved, 2/3 of them are fully represented in some way!

and now most importantly probably, is that this is in fact my second pass at an aquarium event! the original one i started back in 2022 and......... i think you guys can figure out why i couldnt just reuse it when i decided to go for making an aquarium event again this time.

yep, youre seeing that right. 4/5 of the characters i chose are the same as what ended up being 1dt, all i got wrong was the vs. thats pretty crazy, honestly. im still not fully convinced colopale isnt just stealing my ideas after val3 happened too /j

it was also saki focus actually! i had written out a rough idea for the story back then too, and while theres some similarities to the current one, it obviously went through a lot of changes when revising the lineup and also with everything that has happened in the story over the past two years. it was definitely a bit more explicitly shippy than my new attempt, although i still tried to keep the shipping stuff toned back somewhat

i only ever made one card for that set though, just lukas 2*... but thats the original reason i made the old 2* backgrounds! its always those fake events throwing me into the graphic design trenches (fist shake) i had been trying to do a more canon-accurate style to......... mixed success. its not terrible, but i definitely could not have done the full set like this. theres a reason i did promised aquarium in my own style!

the original theme for the set was kind of like..... performers at an aquarium? along with living water sculptures of animals. it was a fun idea, but i think i was much better suited to doing the underwater scenes of promised aquarium and also we have plenty of performance themed trained sets already ^^

considering i also technically kept her from the original set (plus she was also winning the vs poll), i gave her a higher rarity card this time around for fun. and also because i knew none of shizuku tsukasa or luka would have super significant roles in the story, and i thought it would be fun to design a lim hairstyle for her!

one final random fun fact: the thing that kicked me into gear making promised aquarium was the fact that haruka wasnt on beautiful sound. i was just a little mad that they had an underwater set WITH A PENGUIN COSTUME and there was no haruka. sometimes petty beef brings out my craziest motivations and then i proceeded to spend the better part of a month planning and making it happen.

[volcanocraft]

cw: night terrors, distressed language, and post-traumatic stress

These posts may not be very interesting or informative but i like writing them. I haven’t ruminated on this part of my life in that much detail before the last post on it. I don’t know many people with night terrors so heres my personal experience with them.

I am unable to pinpoint when it started. maybe two years ago and it has gotten more volatile since then. i would wake up in a cold sweat (literally drenched) feeling afraid of something, my body kicked into hypervigilance, but not being able to figure out what im even scared of. Its a weird feeling because you feel simultaneously silly and exasperated and shocked no one is doing something all at once. i can recall some parts of my terrors as soon as i wake up but lose the thread hours later. i know that the theme of these dreams usually repeat in different scenarios but i legitimately don’t think it should cause me the distress it does. my dreams do not resemble the flashbacks i experience when im awake and thats where i’m like whats going on dude

I was not the one who found out about these terrors. looking back, i probably had some sort of idea but was never sold on it. I regularly share a bed with a friend and they’re the one who told me that I was very distressed in my sleep.

Often I will scream or cry-yell, unfortunately loud enough that I wake up my friend and my dog. Other times i’m upset but coherent. I legitimately don’t know what I say in these instances and have to be told them. That’s probably the most embarrassing part of this whole thing because it's always stuff like "fuck off! get off of me! I'm scared." or "get away from me. please just stop" or "why can’t you just listen?” and even typing this out makes me feel so fucking lame HAHA because i really am okay the morning after

This has never personally concerned me. The only time I’ve seriously considered it as a problem is when it becomes physical. I flail, toss and turn, and all that good stuff in my sleep. On occasion I will have a violent dream that causes me to start kicking or punching or jump out of bed. sometimes i will not recognize whose beside me and start freaking out and try to defend myself. Other times I’ll bang my head on the wall or kick it and have been known to punch or fight the wall, which is kind of funny, but i do end up having a sore foot or hand because of it

i think it comes in waves. for a while I had them track me and have been doing really well. three weeks ago I suddenly started again, and it’s been happening practically every night since then, save one or two days. I’m not medicated for my parasomnia specifically, my doctors don’t take it seriously and I’m tired of pushing it. Again, I do not think it’s that big of a deal. I have been waking up distressed for a long time now and I’ve come to terms with having the same sorts of dreams over and over again. It sucks but it doesnt impact me in noticeable ways other than getting consistent rest. It very much sounds worse on paper and I’ve been doing mentally very well recently. it’s probably a side effect of my mental disorder and the symptom i care about the least. My friend has encouraged me to speak to the professional i see weekly (I don’t know how to describe her, she does social work by trade). if this goes anywhere ill be very surprised and then whatever man I suppose owe you 50 bucks. the end

[blood-and-poetry]

Hot take I'm seeing quite a few posts confused over why Deadloch isn't trending or much more popular on tumblr because "tumblr is so gay and so feminist". And I am sorry to say this but tumblr isn't the "lesbian website" or the "feminist website". Tumblr loves men just as much as the rest of society does, its user base just loves them in a very online way which makes it look a bit different at times. It has always been this way, starting with shipping every two white dudes in close proximity to each other, over worshipping old male Hollywood actors to downright MRA and anti-feminist talking points in the recent past in "progressive leftist" spaces on here. All done in very uwu political correct tumblr speak of course.

And it's really that simple. Media with two (often times white) guys standing close to each other will always be more popular on here than anything women- or lesbian centric, no matter how many theoretical tumblr approval boxes said media ticks. There is a reason why lesbian shows get canceled left and right. Even if lesbian shows are trending for one or two days there is just no genuine interest from a majority of people (on tumblr and anywhere else). Men overall are rarely interested if it isn't made with the male gaze in mind or focusses on men, straight women aren't interested, even many bi women (don't come at me I am bi) aren't interested because they don't see other women (and often times themselves) as complete and potentially interesting people/characters (how often I've seen women on here saying something along the lines of "my favourite characters are all men but it's just because these characters are so good! Pure coincidence. I would definitely love a female character but I just have never found one I am that obsessed with. Not my fault, they are all written in a bad/boring way").

Doesn't matter how often the word "queer" is thrown around here, all of this has always been the same and it won't change. Which is.. fine? I have never expected it to be something else. A website that isn't specifically designed for lesbians but only attracts lesbians would be magical. But a website thats designed for nerdy people and especially women of that kind will attract.. nerdy people/women. Consisting of the same groups of people that exist in real life, including lots of women attracted to men. I have my little bubble here in which I mainly see lesbian content but the things on my dashboard rarely reflect what's trending or the content of popular posts.

I am not bitter about this because it has never been different (here or anywhere else) but I am surprised that people are still thinking that this website would worship a lesbian-lead and female-centric show when it would be entirely out of character for tumblr as a whole to do so. I mean maybe this is all about the show being australian. Maybe people don't like Australia. I also get that crime shows aren't THAT popular either but I guarantee you, if Dulcie and Eddie were dudes this show would be trending so hard.

Deadloch is a fantastic show. It looks amazing, has fantastic humor, the drama is great, the plot is great, there is a good message behind everything and the show also sprinkles in some of tumblrs top ten greatest political correct catch phrases. The main two characters are played by lesbians, another actress from the main cast is bisexual. One of the main characters is a lesbian and there are several other lesbian characters in the show. The other main character is a woman of color (who SHOULD be same sex attracted but sadly seemingly is not which makes me cry). Almost all important characters are women. Amazingly written by the way. There are plenty of women of color, indigenous women especially, playing important roles. All female characters are complex and nuanced people and their suffering isn't used for shock value or to push forward the plot. The two main female characters are both over 40 years old! What the show doesn't have is the same two decent looking men standing in close proximity to each other. And there really isn't any arguing against my little rant here because the only thing I accept as proving me wrong is a lot of people watching Deadloch or overall more women centric and lesbian centric stuff :) Thank you :)

[transgenderism-horror]

i do absolutely think "love negativity" does exist, especially for queer people. being yelled at for holding my boyfriend's hand in public isnt love positivity, thats for sure. even the influx of aros and aces saying they dont want to see people kissing at pride isnt love positivity. i know people like to deny that happens, but as an aromantic who's been openly aromantic for over a decade and in many aromantic spaces, i have followed several aro people who've said they dont want to see people kissing in public, even at pride. which, again, sounds like love negativity to me. specifically directed at other queer people, which also leads into homophobia and biphobia.

i completely understand being loveless and all, but gay people have and do experience oppression for the love that they have. "love wins" is played out, but was vitally important. saying "comraderie wins" doesnt have the same ring to it when im not being comrades with someone im getting married to, im in love with them.

the concept of being loveless, subverting the expectations society has for what being a good person is, and enjoying life without love arent mutually exclusive to people experiencing oppression for their love. aro/ace people arent immune to being homophobic the same way gay people arent immune to being aphobic and the people i have encountered in the aro/ace community have just about the same proclivity to call gay people gross for having sex as gay people have the proclivity to make fun of asexuals for not having sex. ive been shamed for having sex, enjoying romance, and having a long term relationship as an aromantic more than ive had people shame me for being aromantic.

essentially, there's nuance to everything and saying broad sweeping statements like "X doesnt exist" about anything having to do with the queer experience is a massive pitfall in every discourse space. i wouldnt say aphobia doesnt exist just because ive experienced it less, or lesbophobia doesnt exist because a lot of governments didnt know they were real so they couldnt illegalize them, because it negates all the breadth of nuance that the world provides for us. in the good and in the bad.

"No more asks about this" ignored again. Okay okay

And it's funny that if, you read my post again, I was talking about a very broad concept of love, not just romantic. I in no way denied the oppression what people who date the same gender go through! Which would be a funny thing to do! Because I'm a same-gender attracted person and I identify as lesbian in the past! You'd be surprised how much I know about these issues, so you don't need to explain it to me at all! Funny thing, isn't?

I was referring to the fact that, even though certain forms of love are demonized, people still expect us to love. People still expect us to experience family love. Friendship love. Love in general. And we have to love in the right way, in the neurotypical, white way, built according to western standards. And if we don't live up to these expectations, we are ostracized and dehumanized. Love is a requirement for humanity. This is not a problem specific to just one context.

And about the "camaraderie" thing, I was just responding to the argument that "love wins" is an anti-war slogan, which honestly, seems very reductive. Love is not something inherently revolutionary. And it's not the only positive emotion there is. Also, love, in technical terms, says nothing about what someone thinks of another person. In a christian context, people often say that God "loves the sinner, but does not love the sin". My shitty father also says he loves me, like many shitty fathers. Okay, you love me. But do you respect me? Do you understand me? Do you perceive me? There must be more than just love to change the world. But anyway, this is just me commenting on my personal view on love.

I think I derail a little, but whatever. I'm not in a good mindset to provide an answer. I just want to say that I think you didn't understand me at all and at this point I'm too tired to explain myself.

[alexanderlightweight]

Thank you! İ totally agree with you i also hate how they meddle with Alec's life in some fics.

And it's always like Alec doesn't have a life beside them, beside being a big brother.

And he comes to parties and goes out of his comfort zone for them because he loves them. And even when Izzy and Jace are wrong especially Izzy they always turn out to be right about something.

Sometimes a gentle nudge is perfect because i know life is hard and i wouldn't leave my home after, staying at home for two months, if it weren't for my sister nudging me to see my friend, or to study.

But i don't like the whole locking two people in a closet so they confess thing(i'm using this as an example).

İt's not a gentle tug, it's saying you are living your life wrong and i hate that.

<3 of course

Yeah I tend to avidly those kind of tropes for personal reasons.

The reason I write it the way I do is because I feel like Magnus is good at a gentle nudge where Izzy and Jace canonically steamroll over alec and you're right. gentle nudges are often necessary, especially for introverts or people who just enjoy the company of themselves and those they care deeply for.

and i agree, i'm not a fan of that closet trope myself. i prefer the 'two strangers trapped by circumstances instantly smitten' trope myself (saeth says 'thats very obvious babe' which rude)

and gentle nudges are great

cause honestly, i'm the kind of person who (when put into situations of being pressured into things)... i am going to resent it even more if i enjoy it because there is an element of being pressured that even when you enjoy it, it sours the experience because sure, 'it wasn't awful, parts of it were even fun but you STILL SAID NO' and that kind of hangs over everything.

i don't think a lot of people consider how they're writing consent? because alec constantly says no to a lot of things and is ignored in canon and fics and pressured into things because of his sibling/parabtai bonds. and like honestly. i write dubcon and i consider it to be more consensual than half the shit he's dragged into in canon. so it's not surprising that people don't consider it to be invalidating and also violating for alec to continually say no and continually be ignored. but that's what it is.

because it's not a sexual situation, people don't consider it violating. but as someone who constantly had to fight to get a voice for things and my 'no's' ignored constantly in so many small and large things it is incredibly violating and diminishing and it rots you from the inside out.

because it starts and signifies a pattern of not only being disrespected and ignored, but that your wants are less significant to the other persons wants, even when it concerns your life and choices

this is a pattern that i've dealt with frequently in my own life and i find that it makes those kind of tropes less palatable to me when reading and writing.

TMI TDLR:

when you ignore someone saying 'no' even in a non-sexual situation you are pressuring, violating and disrespecting their boundaries. and it doesn't matter if you're 'right' in the end. your opinion isn't enough to invalidate someone else's boundaries.