#it was driving behind me for a while and I was so scared bc I know about the accelerator problem
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likedaylighht · 11 months ago
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Me yesterday
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NOOOOO WHY ARE THEY EVERYWHERE I HATE THIS!!!!! Didn’t they only make like 5000 of the cursed things? WHY WHY WHY WHY
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arabella0001 · 2 months ago
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❛say it when you're sober❜ (sasuke uchiha x reader)
✦ AU • slow burn • smut with plot ✦
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✦ anime: naruto
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
synopsis: you don’t usually drink this much. don’t usually flirt. don’t usually end up pressed against a stranger at 3 a.m., skin hot and mind fuzzy. but naruto introduces you to two of his friends and somehow you go home with one of them. or maybe… he takes you. sasuke isn’t what you expected. he’s quiet. intense. and when the door shuts behind you—nothing about him feels accidental.
⚠️cn: alternate universe, smut with plot(bc i can't help myself), slow burn, strangers to lovers, original characters x naruto, alcohol intoxication, smoking, fluff, rough sex, oral, praising, light dom/sub.
Your voice stumbles, trembling from the orgasmic echoes still resonating through your body as Sasuke approaches you, his throbbing presence pushing against the fabric.
“D-do you want me to—”
Your hand tries to reach him but he grabs it and gently presses it down beside yours, on the pillow beneath your head.
“Don’t worry.”
He looks at you before his kisses begin on your neck, arousing you entirely, all the way down to your chest.
“Mmph—” You whimper as lips parting to suck at a sensitive spot and trailing all the way back until they reach your earlobe, whispering with a raspy voice.
“I want to make you feel good,” His hands slipping under your shirt, fondling the breast beneath the bra. “Good enough that you’ll remember this night over and over.”
“F-fuck—”
You let out a breathy, involuntary sound and with hands trembling, you try to get him out of his pants.
Your shame slips further and further away as you beg him to take them off. With a swift motion, he’s left only in his underwear. You drag your tongue across your lips, not even realizing as you take in the sight of him.
You can see how turned on he is just through the precum-stained fabric, and when your hands run slowly down his firm abdomen, it only makes him twitch more—especially when your hand can’t resist brushing over him through his briefs, tugging them down just enough to expose more of that delicious V at his waist.
He hisses before taking your parted mouth with his, his tongue finding yours in a heartbeat, pressing hungrily while neither of you can catch your breath—yet neither of you wants to stop. You speak against his lips between kisses.
“I want you so bad.”
You stop him, trying to tug your top off quickly. He helps you, pulling it over your head until you’re left in your bra—until you pull him back in and kiss him again.
He’s a little surprised when you lift yourself from the pillows, Sasuke letting you guide him until you straddle his lap.
You feel him smile against your mouth at your eagerness while his hands find the clasp of your bra. You barely let him undo it, already crashing your lips onto his, grinding down against him.
“I can see that.”
He murmurs softly as he guides your hips over him for some time and then he lays you back on the bed. Once he undresses completely, you feel him between your thighs, chasing his heat with your hips.
“P-please—”
His restraint shatters at your pleading, but he still can’t help but tauting you a little more.
“Yeah?”
You only feel him pressing onto your cli, driving you absolutely insane.
Besides what is happening, your thoughts sometimes brink you back to reality. You still can’t believe this is the same quiet guy from the club, but you’re not the only one who’s surprised.
“Y-yeah—”
He never thought this would happen when Naruto dragged him out that night, his eyes heavy from exhaustion after hours spent at the office, buried in story revisions and approvals. And definitely not that he’d end up in someone’s bed this fast.
But here he is, completely immersed in the way you make him feel. It scared him how fast all of that dissolved the second you kissed him first and how cute you are right now, struggling to breath beneath him, almost desperate to feel him.
And he’s just as desperate—especially when, finally, you feel him start to stretch you, and the relief of it makes him almost lose it right there.
“Fuck—”
A strained noise slips from his throat as he pushes deeper inside you, your mouths parted the whole time, eyes locked until he’s all the way in.
You can’t help but tighten around him, whining from the slight sting of his size—until he starts moving, and it hurts in a way that makes you crave more.
He scolds you with a low groan as he moves slowly but deeply.
“Don’t do that.”
“B-but you feel so good—”
He shuts you up with his mouth, thrusting deeper and deeper, his hands cupping your cheeks.
Tears streak down your cheeks, dissolving into the heat of his mouth. You feel completely full, feeling things you never have before.
“Sasuke, oh my—”
His breath flutters against your lips, a string of saliva still connecting you. His fingers reach your clit again, sensing your second orgasm building fast.
Your face is so expressive. He’s hypnotized by how much pleasure he’s giving you, written all of your face. Your voice breaking on his name every time he hits your sweet spot. But when his fingers begin to draw circles over your clit, it's enough to make your whole body tense and muscles spasming beneath him.
He whispers, his dark eyes soften while his hand never leaving your cheek.
“Beautiful. You’re so beautiful. Let go for me again.”
You don’t know what made you come harder—his words, the overwhelming rhythm of his body, or the sheer intensity of how badly you want him.
Your legs shake uncontrollably, your orgasm throwing off his pace for a moment—but he recovers quickly, moving in you more unhurried now.
You wrap your legs tighter around him, drawing him in deeper. Tears burn on your flushed cheeks, your lips trembling as you try to speak.
“Sasuke, please do it. Please—”
With a few rougher thrusts, Sasuke pulls out just in time, spilling himself across your belly. The sounds he makes, the look on his face—they only make you want him more. You’re sure they’ll be marked into your mind forever: Sasuke with his head thrown back, stray black strands sticking to his face, mouth parted, and hand working himself through his big climax, showing just how good you made him feel.
Beautiful. You think the same of him.
The aftershock begins to dissolve as your mind clears and your cheeks flush deeper—but when Sasuke lifts his head, his eyes return to you.
A pause.
He leans down, brushing your lips with a soft kiss. Then he stands, walking out of the room to find the bathroom. You can’t stop your eyes from following his naked silhouette as it disappears down the hall.
Sasuke calls out from inside.
“Towels?”
It takes you a moment to answer, still dazed. “Above the sink. First drawer.”
You hear the water running—probably rinsing himself off—before he returns to the bed with a single purpose. His hands slide between your legs, the warm towel cleaning you up softly, making you whimper again before he wipes his release off your stomach.
He notices your gaze on him, unsure what to say after everything. Once he’s done, he climbs back into bed, pulling the blanket over both of you before wrapping you into his chest.
Your heart pounds hard, the noise of your thoughts deafening until his fingers begin stroking gently through your hair. The air is warm, sticky with sweat and something sweeter. A draft from the open window cools your skin, and the city buzz outside feels far away, like another world.
He watches as you turn your face away and curl into yourself, knowing he needs to say something. Your mind patterns aren’t that hard for him to read.
“You okay?”
You don’t trust your voice just yet.
“Yes.”
He keeps stroking your hair, but his eyes aren’t convinced.
“Then why are you hiding?”
“I’m not.”
He answers in a softer tone to your quick response.
“Look at me.”
You exhale slowly, raising your gaze to meet his, your hand resting on his chest.
He studies your face, trying to find some kind of answers.
“Do you regret this?”
You shake your head.
“This isn’t usually how I start things, but I do want to get to know you.” Your heart skips before he adds, “Obviously, only if you want that too.”
You can’t look at him anymore, your cheeks growing hotter as you turn your face away again.
“I want to.”
He lets out a small laugh, and your heart stumbles again.
“Naruto should’ve told me about you sooner.”
You stare blankly as your mind spirals.
“Why?”
“The same reason you wanted my attention tonight.”
You’re unsure of his intentions, but your silence prompts him to reassure you once more.
“For me at least, this isn’t just about sex.”
You glance back at him, eyes a little wide. You hate being misunderstood so at his words, relief start spreading through your chest.
“Not for me either.”
Sasuke gives you a faint smile, his hands trailing gently over your face, stroking you.
“Good.”
━━
“Now… about the book. What were you saying you’re reading?”
Your smile grows, and somehow your arms tighten around him unconsciously—as if your body and soul have already grown used to his presence while the two of you start to talk, to get to know each other. A frame that feels familiar and safe, that warms your heart more.
I can’t wait to call Reina and Hemari.
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wandagcre · 2 years ago
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drive you mad (part 1) | sam carpenter 🔞
(Mob Boss!Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader)
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You’re reunited with your old friend, Samantha Loomis, and she couldn't be any more of a puzzle to you. It doesn't take long to become entangled with her once again – replacing the previously wholesome hangouts; this time you find yourself being in her sheets way more often.
WARNING: dom!mob boss! sam, sub!reader, public sex, voyeurism, mirror sex, praise, degradation, fingering, poor communication, mentions of violence, hints of stalking, sam referring to you in spanish endearments (bc why not), not proofread +18 / men & minors dni. Words: 10k+
[ PART ONE of TWO | Next ]
[ series masterlist ] | [ masterlist ]
You liked the universe and its ways of diverting you into paths you never thought to cross paths once again.
Weeks ago, attending another lousy gala was against your whole will. It didn’t seem necessary to you, finding no difference whether your presence was something that would be amiss to the buffoons dressed in suits of your multimillion dollar company. Sure, you completely detested the idea, yet you gave it a chance, as your good colleague turned into a friend – was nagging you for days before the event. She insisted it was an opportunity (a scenario eerily familiar to your college days as if it was a mere frat party) you thought that might as well maximize these so-called connections, right? So, you caved in and went dressed to kill, anyway.
Funnily enough, the said colleague was nowhere to be seen even if she was the sole reason of your presence here tonight. She claims that she had the flu and so you were forced to take in the hors-d’œuvre by yourself.
Here you were, in a fitted beige-colored pantsuit. You didn’t know whether it was your fake it ‘till you make it mantra during work, but you managed to survive (so far). Sipping in your flute of champagne and socializing with people. Your feet were starting to ache and so were your cheeks due to the endless polite smiling you have done for the night. It was draining, so to say.
Just as you were on your way to the bathroom to do some touch up, a recognizable voice made its way to you.
“Please do tell me that you went here without a date, (y/n/n).” a sultry voice uttered directly on your ears and you turned to them too fast, almost getting a whiplash.
You haven’t heard of that for a while. It was a nickname that your closest friends and family called you by.
Lo and behold – it was Samantha Loomis. 
Your eyes fluttered as she left you flabbergasted for multiple reasons. Sam had you putting your hand on your chest, beating madly as if you’ve seen a ghost. 
“Shit. Sam, you scared me, Jesus. Can’t you say hello like a normal person?”
She bodied the suit better than every man in the room. Sam stood with hands in her pocket, an aura that can easily rival anyone else’s confidence in the room, her jet black hair was fixed in a neat ponytail. She was donned in a well put navy blue suit – truly tailored to her perfect figure, emphasizing her good attributes. Damn this woman. Sam was still taller than you and insanely oozing with attractiveness.
Another thing? This woman was the one you were silently pining over during your teenage years. You were also heartbroken when she left town abruptly, leaving no trace behind.
“Finished checking me out?” she says, cocky. “Not one hi for me? you’re still easily frightened, (y/n/n).” a smile ghosts on her face as if Sam knew a secret. “So, how are you? If you’ve got a mystery date for tonight, I’d say they are doing a bad job of keeping you entertained.”
“Hi. Happy now?” You immediately blush at her blatant flood of compliments. “And I’m fine. Really, I’m just here to enjoy the drinks and all, maybe a bit of expanding in the work field too. So, it’s definitely just me – a last minute decision.”
Sam nods, eyes trailing on you. 
“I’m more than happy to hear that. ‘Cause that also means I can do this–?” she reached for your hand and pressed her lips at the back of it, making you flustered more than ever.
You weren’t used to Sam being this direct. She was affectionate, but not to this extent. She was more laid-back as you recall, not as forward and not this flirty. Women had always been your achilles’ heel but to experience this with Sam in the present time – it was a no-brainer that your old feelings were being tested.
“You always do this to the women you encounter?” you raise an eyebrow.
“Just you, (y/n/n).”
The way she kept saying your nickname felt too intimate as it was the one you were previously called back in one of the towns you used to stay in. One that Sam was a part of until she moved again – a common occurrence in her life that she mentioned in passing – albeit you were somewhat expecting it, you didn’t actually think it would hurt that much still.
You were by each other’s side all night. She blossomed into a refined and sophisticated woman, answering questions from other gentlemen and business people in the room with unshakable confidence. It was apparent too, with how they looked at her with respect. Sam even introduced you to others too, by your respective job and all, definitely buttering up your good qualities too that you haven’t even realized that this was benefiting you in your long forgotten plans of exposure. 
“I don’t think I should be with you Sam,” you whisper close to Sam who had her eyebrows furrowed at your words. “Whatever your business is, it’s definitely beyond what I do. Wouldn’t it be sketchy? Or like using you? Because that’s not–”
“Now slow down, honey. It’s no problem with me. Honestly, I was just thrilled to have you by my side tonight and you deserve the good word and all. It’s still me, (y/n/n).” she assured you as she held you softly by your shoulder. 
Exhaling the distress away, your stomach soon fluttered at Sam’s intentions.
“I’m having fun too, just so you know.” You truthfully admit, stopping a stupid smile to spread on your face. Sam gleamed at your words, evidently content as you are.
Soon you were catching up a little with life. Sam asked you how long you have been away from your hometown and what brought you to a new one. You sheepishly say that a new start was long overdue for you and interestingly, Sam returns the same sentiment, albeit there was longing in her tone but it disappeared quickly as it went. Before you could attempt to pry for more, a new set of people were catching up to the two of you, making you sigh.
Sam murmured to you after the man had left. “That man is definitely a no. He’s got a good history of attempting to shag his secretaries. Bound to be kicked from their board soon. I assumed a terrible workload and possibly environment, too.”
“Noted. Crossing that one out immediately.” You snorted at her unfiltered yet helpful tip. “He was rather creepy with how he was staring.. It’s like his first time seeing a pair of boobs during Victorian times.” you quip and laughter filled your chest.
“Did he now?” Sam squinted her eyes. “Well… you’re absolutely a sight for sore eyes, alright.” You see her eyes now surely over the valley of your chest. 
Was she really checking you out? 
Another new information for you is that Sam had apparently grown playful. You were astounded to receive her gaze, you elbowed her side. “I’m just saying! But him? oh he’s not worth your time, is all.” Sam reasoned, petulant.
“And you’re no better.”
“Excuse me, I am. I was simply admiring you.” she quipped at you very quickly and sipped her drink.
“If you say so. And hey, what about her?” you subtly point at the tall, middle-aged woman you met earlier. 
“Uh-uh, also a pass. Better CEO than him and the others, for sure, but you could do better. A bit of the same as the old man, just a woman version of him on a somewhat low profile.”
You look with much interest now. For two different reasons – one, because you didn’t expect that and two, how exactly of a big shot was Sam to know all of this insider information?
“Doesn’t sound bad to me.”
Not for me. Sam murmured as she sipped on her drink. You look at her quizzically, obviously not catching her words. 
“Sorry, what was that?”
“I said, what about that one…” Sam subtly points out another person across from you. 
She listed out the company’s stand point, what they were looking for, and you momentarily tuned out – savoring her voice that melted in your ear.
“How do you know all of this?” You blurt out.
Sam was sporting a distant tight-lipped smile. “I own a few businesses from here and there. Can’t spill them all to you in one night. I have to remain mysterious so I can be interesting for you, don’t I, honey?” she tilted her head.
For the hundredth time that night, your heart pounded and cheeks were crimson once again, all by Samantha Loomis.
:: 
This morning as you flipped through the channels, it reported the death of a wealthy CEO, stabbed in most inhumane ways and his eyes were reportedly gouged out. 
Momentarily, you felt sick to your stomach until you realized that it was the same man who was a creep from the gala. You vividly recall Sam's words; with this man's business fluctuating badly and his poor work ethics, your thoughts gradually eased and snapped yourself out of it. He did see that one coming, you suppose.
You couldn’t be any more grateful that you’re far from that circle.
::
While you were terrified, it didn't stop you from going outside by yourself. Normally, this routine of yours is done during day time. However, resting got the best of your time this weekend and so with a resigned sigh, you came prepared with a pepper spray that you blatantly held as your free hand pushed the cart. Your stock of groceries wouldn't be done by itself, after all. Were you paranoid? (The answer is yes, rightfully so).
The mundane chore was going well. 
Until you were on one aisle, on your tip-toes, barely reaching the chips that were now placed a tier higher than normal. It’s like a trick and you were being played, as coincidentally, it was the last one on the rack. You irrationally listed this as a bad sign - change wasn't to be welcomed for you in times of horror.
The lighting grew dark and it shadowed you. it triggered your fight or flight mode as this person towered you from behind, the scent strongly engulfed your senses and so did their body frame, making you gasp as their front was almost pressed against you. 
They picked up the item for you and as you turned around, it was Sam.
She hasn’t preoccupied your mind for a while and you take in her presence as a fresh breath of air.
"Hey, pretty girl, I don't want you getting hurt." She joked and dropped the chips herself on your cart. 
"Fancy seeing you here," you retort with equal amusement to the woman in front of you. You thought it was unfair that she always stunned you as you saw her casual get up. 
Sam wore a bomber jacket and a navy baseball cap. She handheld her own cart and interestingly filled it with junk food, just like yours, and a couple of cleaning disinfectants.
"Do you usually shop this late?” Sam quips gently, hearing the concern in her tone.
You sheepishly smiled, "I know. But in my defense, work kept me late unfortunately. Or maybe it was me over napping..." admitting it out loud felt silly. "I don't have much of a choice. I ran out of stash in my pantry and while it's not really a good time.. wait, I don’t mean that with you, but what I meant is that, given the circumstances happening right now - it’s horrifying to be out and about."
Sam raised an eyebrow at your rambling. She found it endearing that you had to clarify each time how you liked her company. 
"And what circumstances are we talking about?"
"You know, the whole killing thing," you hushed down low and kept walking with Sam who hummed right behind you. "Haven’t you heard it yet? It honestly had me worried. I don't want to be put in that position."
You both come across the isle of candies, you picked up a couple of them. Embarrassment soon crept in the more you confided your fear out in the open and how you revealed your unhealthy fix of snacks in the presence of Sam, the woman you're swooning about.
"I see. That explains your trusty pepper spray," Sam nodded along in understanding. "Say, do you mind if I accompany you? Sticking together could be better, after all." she lightly nudged your side with her arm and swiftly took over to push your cart by her own.
An easy smile crossed your features. You can't say no to spending more time with her.
"I'd like that very much."
::
The simple scare and business exchange was the start of your reconnection with Sam. 
It seemed that Sam was sticking for good - or near you. At least, that’s what you thought so. Her place couldn’t be that far as you happened to come across her for a few times already. 
A few days later she surprised you, sent a rather straightforward message and opened up how she misses you (you almost fainted on that message). Come the weekend, Sam called you to say that she’s sending a driver to pick you up around 6 PM. After you gave her your address, Sam notes to dress in nothing strict and formal as the gala, and you quote Sam who said in her own words: just bring your pretty self. 
It was rather bossy and forward, if you were being honest. Though your senses dulled it out of bias, being Sam’s friend in the past she hasn’t done anything to put you in harm.
Another thing that brought you to a conundrum was how it sounded like a date but you didn’t want to be that hopeful – even with her endless flirting. You simply note it as another Sam evolution; a part of her confident self. The driver who picked you up was dressed in casual business attire, no older than late 20s, gave you a polite smile. He introduced himself as Martin and referred to Sam as Ms. Loomis and as you were in a phone call with her, she immediately confirmed to you that it was indeed your ride.
Relief washed over you, feeling secured enough with the whole get up. Especially with the case of brutal murder as of recently.
Arriving at the place, the door was opened for you and he mentions that he’ll be parked at the same place. The restaurant itself was one of the places you haven’t had a chance to visit yet, mostly because you didn’t feel zealous to spend a lot of money on a glorified casual meal. The ambience striked your interest immediately, the interior was cozy, and welcoming – especially for whatever they served, the aroma made your stomach rumble. 
Looking around, it was opposed to what you expected – there was no single sight of business suits hovering in the place. They were stuffy people in casual attire, maybe.
“You made it.” Sam stood up from her seat and your eyes fluttered at her beauty once again. Her floral scent was hypnotizing and covered your senses as she went for a hug. “How was your ride?”
“It was nice. I like your car,” you timidly say as Sam pulled a chair for you. 
“And I like your outfit. You look so beautiful, (y/n/n.)” Sam’s words were earnest and crimson quickly spread on your cheeks and rose up to your ears.
The stark contrast of her in formal attire with slick ponytail was apparent, yet equally so attractive. Sam stood in plain tight polo, baggy pants and some sneakers with her hair loose. She gave you a warm smile and her eyes also did a once over to your figure; you were dressed simply in a knitted zip top that hugged your torso, some trousers, and decent platform shoes. 
“Says you. You’re absolutely charming, it’s unfair.”
“Don’t start that with me, honey. We’ll be here all night arguing about that.”
Sam grinned at how you affectionately rolled your eyes at her quip. As you settled in and looked at the menu, you noticed the familiarity. It was on par with your tastebuds. She definitely remembered your type of crowd. You hid a smile with this information.
However, your joy was temporarily cut off as you noticed the server giving Sam the heart eyes as she took note of the order, although the latter paid no mind, swiftly reiterating your orders with her polite smile, it didn’t stop you from getting irrationally bothered on the inside.
You should have seen this coming. Surely, other people were bound to find Sam attractive as much as you do.
“Have you ever been here?” Sam eagerly questioned, her doe-eyes all on you. “I was nervous to pick a decent place, to be honest. I didn’t want it to be stuffy and stiff, but not too casual – only because I wasn’t so sure with your taste now, so I relied on my (y/n) senses.”
You were quick to nod off, “No. I was interested but I never had the chance.” a slow appreciative smile spread on your lips. “Your senses were right - don’t worry, Sam. They definitely serve the type of food I like. I hope you didn’t compromise that much for me." While you liked the thoughtfulness, you wanted Sam to have a good time as well.
“Well, that’s great! It means you can enjoy it with me that way. Don’t worry, based on their menu it seems appetizing for me, too.” her eyes lit up assuring you, and it was an adorable sight. She showed you another side of her again, reminiscent of how you remember her relaxed state and wasn’t as constricted from the gala held days earlier. “I have to ask.. is this setup okay with you? In case you’re… seeing someone.”
You’re surprised at her interest at your love life. Her attention remained fixated on you and it made you blink couple of times.
“Definitely not seeing any woman right now. Nothing recently.” you hint your preference, in case Sam hasn’t picked up on it yet even before. You haven’t come out back then. 
Sam smiled at your response. “That’s a relief. Means I won’t be breaking any faces any time soon.” your eyes widen at her words. “I’m kidding, (y/n/n). Or not.”
You nod along at Sam’s words with an unsure smile, not knowing what she exactly meant by that. You shrug it off as her odd humor. 
“What about you, any lucky person yet?” you asked, it was your chance to know more about her too.
A playful smirk was written on Sam’s features. 
“Funny thing is that it's the same case for me, I haven't gotten around it for uh, for some reason.” she ended sheepishly and shuffled a bit on her seat. “I could be eyeing on someone, who knows. But I have to be mysterious to you.” Sam’s voice dropped an octave lower. If you didn’t know any better, your delusions would think that she’s implying suggestively to you.
While her vague answer didn’t provide you what her type was, it was a relief for you to know that Sam is not off the market yet.
Both of your smiles barely wore off since then. Soon you were finally eating your go-to food and Sam with her chosen pasta. You debate whether you should finally ask Sam of her sudden disappearance, but you really didn’t want to spoil the mood either.
“Are you okay? Something wrong with your meal?” Sam leaned in to you and you quickly motioned no. 
“No, no. It’s just– I want to know, why did you have to leave?” you can’t help it but the hurt dripped on your tone. “It was so sudden and I haven’t heard from you since then… and now, you’re here again.”
You felt silly because it was a long time ago. Seeing Sam in flesh again gave you a whiplash, you valued her presence as she was your confidant during your hard times. If it weren’t for the gala, maybe you’d be left wondering until now, you’ll never know.
Warmth covered your hands, surprised that Sam has taken them to intertwine with hers.
“I can’t say the full details yet. But.. I’m here to stay. Believe me, honey. What happened then - it has something to do with my father. You knew how unstable things were at home, right? And I was expected to… step up into things at a faster pace than I can ever imagine,”
You only had a slight idea – if Sam before wasn’t very talkative and open – it was a thing that definitely remained until now. Sometimes their house was rowdy, full of men that wore notable sparkly ostentatious accessories. You only knew that his father’s job was demanding and that he was uptight, didn't want Sam to be out late, she had to sneak to parties, and was harsh with his words - even in front of you. It reflected the fear that glinted in Sam’s eyes when you were caught at their house, at the same beat, Sam also seemed to respect him. It was odd and the similarity of her tone was not lost on you but you didn’t push further.
You also wondered how Sam's sister, Tara, is doing and most likely all grown up now. 
“Is it enough for you right now?” Sam meekly asked you, hopeful glint in her eyes.
You mimic her playful smirk from earlier.
“Only if we get mint ice cream right after this and I’m paying.”
Sam let out a relieved sigh, leaning back to her seat and an easy going grin gracing her features once again. 
“Alright, whatever your heart desires, (y/n/n).”
::
After a wholesome reunion (or date?) the two of you were on a weird loop. At least for you. She was bearing gifts that weren’t so little at all – packages were being sent to your house, always coming with a handwritten note that said ‘reminded me of you’ with a scribbled wink, sometimes a heart, and seeing Sam became a part of your routine. It was all you looked forward to every week – seeing Sam – that your friends even asked whether you were dating someone as you appeared more occupied than ever.  
At this point, you have visited restaurants and stores you could only imagine. Sam mentioned that having to try delicacies with you was a terrific experience, she liked your honesty and fun quips of critique. Although it shifted to something you’d say – a bit odd. While she was warm and welcoming, she never stopped by at your house.
Although you weren’t going to lie, it made you curious. Disappointed, too. Was she embarrassed enough to avoid being seen dropping by in the eyes of the public, in an intimate way? Granted, there wasn’t anything intimate going on. 
Other than that, it dawned to you how tactile Sam was with conversations. It was always knowing something new and familiar, never delving into something deeper.
For her sweet quips, you remain confused whether it was flirty and intentional, after all, you didn’t think that Sam was to take interest in you romantically speaking. So, it was a challenge for yourself to not get any less flustered. Especially when you’re crushing over her.
::
"Hey, pretty girl. Wanna eat out tonight?" Sam smoothly asks you from the other line and you snorted at her forwardness.
You peer over your window at the kitchen before shutting the blinds. You didn’t know whether it was still the lingering paranoia you felt over the gruesome murders and the irrational fear that you could be next. 
What if they were watching you?
"Dunno Sam," you scratch your nape, debating your answer as you remembered the events happening outside. "Is it safe? A brutal death happened recently. And you know, honestly, Sam – it rattled me a little more than I thought it did."
"Is this about the CEO? Honey, I've told you that he was already in deep shit. his decisions have probably caused him to dig himself into a bigger mess unimaginable."
The lack of care in Sam’s tone surprised you a little. But your mind weighed in the facts; these were billionaires who fucked up, didn’t do anything good for the others, and put themselves in the wrong crowd. You give Sam credit for that similar thought as you assume.
"Okay, but still…"
You hear Sam cooing in sympathy. "If it helps, I have my men around. We’ll be safe. You’ll be safe with me, don't worry." she promises with conviction enough for you to believe her.
You hummed as you rethink your answer. You wanted to hang out with the woman you've been crushing over (again) and having an idea of how her bodyguard's in question are built, you feel yourself leaning more to saying yes. 
"I guess that helps yeah- you just had to be so damn convincing, didn't you?" Even if this was a call, you can already see the stupid grin that Sam has now. "Alright, I'm sold with that. I'll see you later, Loomis." you playfully sing-songed to which Sam giggled as you dropped the call.
::
“Let’s try something new today.” Sam said in her low voice and to your surprise she held the car door open for you in the passenger seat and you weren’t in the backseat this time.
“Don’t we always?” you refer to your eating escapades with her. 
To your shock, Sam went to the driver’s seat. 
She was the one driving for today?
“Nuh-uh. We’re going to my house.”
“What?”
You turn your head fast to face Sam with your expectant eyes; filled with surprise and excitement. After all, your brain was racking itself with much curiosity of what is going on with your friend slash crush’s personal life. When Sam caught the glee in your expression, her own eyes crinkled at the corners and muttered something about how adorable you are.
As you parked outside, you noticed familiar vehicles that tailed the one you and Sam were in. You only saw a few of them before, the men only looked at you out of politeness – as if their eyes weren’t around to linger – and they were more pliant with Sam. It instilled an idea that your friend was this much of a respected person.
“Don’t worry, they’re with us.” Sam informs you and you were shy of how evident you were glancing at the side and at the back. 
You took tentative steps inside her home, surprisingly it was bursting with colors. It was apparent that Sam liked the idea of experimenting when it comes to style, as her interior and decorations felt straight out of magazine.
In her living space, she offered for you to sit first. She looked messy this time – not as neat after work, her hair down again instead of the usual ponytail, which seemed unnatural for someone so polished for her professional state.
“This was all of a sudden, sorry. I can’t… I’m a shit host for tonight. I’m honestly not feeling well today. I can get someone to fetch our food, whatever you like, it’s on me mi quierida.”
“You could’ve postponed this thing that we have. I mean, I don’t mind.” Okay maybe that was a complete lie – but you didn’t want Sam to feel forced.
Sam tilted her head. “And risk depriving myself of not seeing you? I do mind that. More than you can imagine. I guess you could say that I selfishly wanted you all by myself tonight, regardless.”
You feel somersaults in your stomach – making you squirm at your seat. Before you can process her words further, your attention panned to Sam’s hands and grew alarmed as you saw a faint view of her knuckles were red, you figure it'll be bruising the next day. She tried to hide it a lot as soon as decent lighting was present. Sam discarded her silver watch and then removed the champagne from the bucket near her to submerged her closed fist as it contained ice. It clinked against the metal, and as seeing her face, her chestnut eyes kept fleeting over you – observing.
"What exactly were you doing anyway?" Amusement was in your tone, although concern crept in quickly. You didn't want Sam to be hurt in some fight club. Or any way, for that matter.
Sam beckons you, "Come here." she softly uttered. as you did, her free hand rested on your lower back. "I ran into a small inconvenience. I guess you can say that I handled it well." 
You snorted at her poor joke. A boyish smile spread on her pretty face.
"If you're joking with that shitty pun… I'll take your word for it, Loomis." You slid an arm around her neck, patting her shoulder affectionately. 
It was truly a gesture meant to be playful but it appeared that it became a cause to shift things between you two. The proximity made you hyper aware with your heartbeat pounding loudly by the minute. You can’t even look Sam in the eye, remaining frozen.
"Uh-huh. You should trust me with it, mi quierida. You know I always mean well.”
Sam smirked, as though she knew something you didn't. She was difficult to decipher at most times but you shrug it off, noting it as a part of her charm. It was her thing thenand apparently, until now. 
Case in point: her sneakily trailing her hand lower as they were, now resting on the slope of your ass. She grabbed you by its underside, feeling her fingers digging into the flesh. Knees growing weak at the contact, you barely stifle a gasp. It was surprising yet very welcomed and better than you imagined.
She rubbed her calloused hand back and forth on your back soothingly. "Stay... stay the night with me.'' Sam whispered as she nosed the crook of your neck, her breath against your skin spreading goosebumps.
It was an all-too familiar scene, however, Sam was bolder.
“Let me give you your present for tonight,” Sam husked out, her face moved to bite on your earlobe – her hands needy all over your body. “or… just say the word and I’ll stop,”
You were pulled in, moaning as you finally cracked through the tension. Both of you no longer teetering in friendly boundaries. It was hard not to – not when it was Sam you adored for a great chunk of your life and how her siren eyes were pierced onto yours. As Sam was nervous, you were simply stunned and returned the same feeling as you did.
"Okay,” you responded shakily yet you moved with an ounce of bravery, finally affirming your answer by grabbing Sam by the nape and lips crashing with much need, electrifying you.
Sam devoured you in her satin sheets until you were swollen, frazzled, and dripping. 
::
The next day, you discover that another case of murder has happened in your town. This was an odd occurrence, as while death is inevitable, it was surprising to hear more of them happening in a short period. More so, it was unusual to hear of a brutal case in your normally nonchaotic town.
Fear began to creep into you as your colleague mentioned it was another CEO yet, this time it was the woman whom you've also met from the gala – being there, meeting these people and hearing them as nothing but reported deaths now felt like a bad omen. It created quite the buzz in your workplace, after all it was one of your company's competitors, too.
Shiver ran down your spine; you couldn't be next, right? 
If you were to follow the pattern, it only suggests isolated killings of wealthy figures and you couldn't be any farther from that. You were another normal person who’s only trying to get by.
Then you remember Sam and the extra security she provides to you. All this time she had kept you safe and away from harm. You found solace over the thought, so you exhale and tried your best to let go of your worries.
::
In all honesty you were only expecting to pull connections that can land you higher positions that promised bits of grandiose escapades in between – all tied to your work during that gala – and you’re surprised that you landed in Sam instead, though in a much more compromising position that ignited your whole body for days. Sometimes you can’t even move due to soreness. More often, you burned and yearned for Sam’s touch. 
It’s like the woman imprinted on you.
Sam finally brought you to her actual place which was a good breaking point. As soon as you saw past the soaring entrance and the modern architecture that greeted your wide eyes. So far, it appeared that she was indeed the only one based on your frequent stays – only men in between casual and formal attires, some being her bodyguards and maids as well were around the area. 
You were surrounded by a lavish wardrobe that you can only dream of. You were amused that you share similar skin-care products as her when you first used her personal bathroom. It was a good coincidence, it made your stay-ins much more comfortable and efficient.
The spacious place felt intimidating to your bones as you walked around halls and doors after one another, although you’ve handled much more terrifying things that were specifically this she-devil.
It was a surprise to you how she can swoon you with her gentleness and barely any of that remains in the bedroom activities. She was absolutely rough and domineering.
She continues to take you to different places you’ve never been to before. Though, now they were private and more high-end properties. Today, Sam took you today to where you wouldn't normally get your sexy undergarments. 
It was sultry and inviting to the ladies. The assisting ladies were polite, kept a minimal distance, and didn’t blatantly stare unless their attention was called to. You and Sam came by fairly early, hence the lack of people, you assume. You were fascinated with the quality of the garters and fabrics that felt different on your fingertips. 
One of her men, Martin, stood by inside the store. Sam assured you that everything was fine, it’s only a precaution and more of a just-in-case business thing. She kissed you before you could ask anything else, effectively distracting you.
Finally having both of your picks, you were welcomed by another part of the area where the sconce's recessed light only added to the thrill that was covering the lavender hall of the boutique. It certainly made the atmosphere downright sinful and erotic. For a minute, you thought that maybe you can handle being Sam’s dirty secret. You felt so dizzy. Feverish. Needy.
Sam placed a final kiss to the side of your neck before she was gently ushering you to go, seeing the familiar look of hunger in her eyes as if she was controlling herself - it made you shiver with the same desire - then you went in to fit.
You nervously stood in front of the mirror, doing final touches on the laces. Sam insisted that she prefers seeing you fit the lingeries instead of her dropping them on your face out of nowhere – something you appreciated.
Slipping yourself into the intricate laces of the lingerie, you were unable to stop nitpicking on the blemishes and stretch marks that were on your skin and how apparent they were beyond this flimsy material that attempted to cover your intimate parts.
“Don’t forget to show them to me, alright?” Sam hollered from the other end.
You try to suck it up, being snapped out of your insecurities. “Wanna come in here?”
“No, come out here.”
In disbelief, you shook your head no even if Sam couldn’t see it. What did she mean by that?
“Are you crazy? There’s… there could be people out. Just come here,” you whisper-yell to Sam.
“There’s no one. We arrived early and just – trust me. It’s only me out here, seated, completely alone.”
You hesitantly move the curtain in the fitting room and step out. Indeed it was silent and no one was there just as Sam reassured. It helped that the room was actually just for the two of you. As you stood there, you felt so naked and raunchy, being were dressed in nothing but lingerie.
“What’s the verdict for this?”
Sam was manspreading on the emerald upholstered chair and you stood in between her legs, inquisitive. 
“Oh, baby.”
“How is it…?” you fiddle with the laces, not meeting her eyes.
Sam looks at you with her mouth agape. She didn't say much but surprise was written on her face. You cannot help but overthink still, as your skin wasn’t flawless nor ridiculously skinny like any other models that Sam surely had been entwined with at one point… or even now. 
“Hey, are you feeling okay, (y/n/n)?” Sam questions and taps on her thigh. “You aren’t comfortable with this one, are you?” she worriedly asks, her hands on your side, rubbing to soothe you. “Because you look so stunning to me, god,”
You refuse to meet Sam’s eyes, “I- I don’t think I look flattering at these. I’m no model, Sam. Surely you had better.” the distaste on your tone didn’t go unnoticed by the woman who frowned at your words.
Your insecurities began to gnaw in rapidly; what if Sam had other women on days you weren’t available? It made you sick to your stomach.
“What makes you think that? Oh, baby this is the best I’ve ever had.” Sam tugs you by your forearm and while you are teary eyed, she places a gentle kiss at the back of your hand. “I’m sorry if you felt forced to do this. You can take it off now if you want. If I’m being honest, I only thought of wanting to see you strip for me."
The explanation had put your mind at ease. It definitely gave you a sense of comfort that to some extent, you do matter to Sam.
“We could have thought of something else. I.. I’m just not feeling this, Sam, it doesn’t fit me. I’m sorry.”
Sam's heart sank at your words. You weren’t to blame at all. Soon, you felt her fingertips subtly tugging down your skimpy underwear to which you put your hand above hers, halting her movements.
"What – Sam, someone might see us," nervousness washes over your expression, you don't want to get caught in such a vulnerable state.
Sam only looked at you with her dilated eyes. "As if I'd let them see this. Trust me, we just have to be quick, princesa, because I can’t wait much longer.." her fingers smoothly went to hook her fingers under the garter of your underwear and moved to grab the base of the fabric. “Let me apologize to you in this way.” She gave it a pulling tug, your moan vibrating in the small space as it deliciously cupped your pussy lips. “You look so beautiful right now, (y/n/n).”
You barely stifle a moan from erupting out of your mouth and feel yourself drip with wetness.
“My pretty girl is getting turned on with a fucking wedgie? You’re just as turned on as I am, aren’t you?” Sam moistens her lips, “So pretty and all for me. You can’t be loud in here baby, I need you to stay quiet. Don’t want others to hear you moan.”
“Thought- there was no others,” you whimper at Sam who only smirked.
“But the assistants are outside. Can’t have them knowing you’re such a whore for me, hm? Now turn your back to me and look at your pretty reflection.”
Nodding your head profusely, you swallow the lump in your throat. It made Sam chuckle in delight, her eyes gleaming. She pulls up the fabric once again, you’re sure that a wet patch is now evidently staining it. She pokes it with the pad of her two fingers and brushes them back and forth, the friction bringing you pleasure.
She interrupts your reverie by halting her motions, unclasping the bra off you and the intricate straps – one your eyes lingered to – only you didn’t realize that Sam saw the dismay on your face, as though it didn’t fit you. It would be an understatement for Sam to say that she abhors seeing you treat yourself this way.
You observe her hooded eyes now full of desire as she looks up to you – it’s undeniable with how it matches her actions, feeling Sam’s thumb pressed then on your back muscle, letting go to run over her hands all over your torso. It’s soothing although given your position, you feel the want and her touch intoxicating you.
“Sam, please.” you begged, ass pushed to her direction with your posture bent over. 
She merely laughs and smacks her hand hard on your ass. The sound echoes in the dressing room. You hissed at how it stings.
Sam had always found your curious look so endearing. You always looked so ready for her to take, attentive, always so curious and beautiful.
She moves her hands agonizingly slow and sensual to your hip bones – brushing her thumb against them – to the skin right under the curve of your ass. You shriek out loud with eyes rolling back to your head, temporarily forgetting that you’re in a public place as Sam notches it up by squeezing you tenderly. 
Repeatedly.
“Look at the mirror, (y/n)” Sam sternly orders. You shudder with eyes wide, still not moving. “My little bunny is not dumb, aren’t you, my sweet thing? Don’t make me repeat myself.”
You gulped audibly and a string of moans were pulled out of you as Sam kneaded your supple breasts pleasingly. Being bare while Sam was fully clothed made you uneasy. Looking at the mirror didn’t feel right - seeing yourself become this needy and you meet Sam’s eyes in the reflection. What was her point in doing this? You don’t know either how it intimidates you yet a tinge of excitement is unmistakably laced underneath your impression. While you weren’t new to her roughness, this was particularly still felt exhilarating to you. 
Lost in a haze of lust, the ambience changed within the store – it felt as though you were trapped in a heating chamber. It’s charged and so electrifying to be in a compromising position with Sam – while it was a secluded and high-end one that provided privacy, you hoped that no one barged in soon.
Sam left a kiss on your lower back and feeling her hot breath brush on your skin made you shiver run down your spine, snapping you out of your worries. 
“I’m going to need you to sit between my legs, (y/n/n). And I’m gonna fuck you with my fingers until you understand in your pretty head that you’re beautiful, hm?” Sam’s words echoed titillatingly on your whole body, your breath hitched and bothered.
Soon as you sat hesitantly onto the couch between her legs, Sam gripped it and opened it wide for you as she saw you squirming and shakily closing your legs. You saw yourself in the reflection - how bare you were. And all you can think about is Sam and how you’re about to soil the velvety seat. She tuts at your shyness and manoeuvres her hand, wrist curling as she glides one finger over your soaked slit, gasping at how you were already so wet – teasing you.
You sharply inhaled, chasing more of Sam’s touch. “Told you that I’m gonna fuck you in front of this mirror, baby. So don’t hide yourself. I’d like to keep you like this, so gorgeous and ready for me.”
Sam did it for you – adjusted her own thighs to accommodate your legs, placed them on top of hers and spread them for you to see how exactly you were dripping. The wetness trickled down the expanse of your inner thighs out of your folds. Sam had a wolfish grin, what you’d describe as predatory and hungry for you. Lolling your head back to Sam’s shoulder, you hear her grunt as she glides her fingers now directly to your folds, eventually entering inside of you.
The sloppy sounds of your wetness echoed in the room. It didn’t help that you felt Sam pressed the base of her palm against your pelvis as her curled fingers rammed madly inside of you. You were pouring out your arousal.
“Oh Sam, oh fuck– fuck, fuck!” heat rose on your belly, coming in waves. Sam responded by pressing kisses on your now sweaty face.
“Mm yeah? More?”
“Yes, yes… Please, Sam!”
You were lost in the haze of lust, driving you dizzy, as your pussy kept pounding with Sam’s rapid thrusts. A slew of guttural moans were out of your mouth – not even minding how loud you are now. You feel how your own core clenched and sucked the entirety of Sam’s fingers, taking a peek in the mirror proved it enough – it was a terrible decision for you.
“Open your eyes, come on now, my good girl. Don’t want you to miss out on how beautiful my sight is.”
Your teeth caught your bottom lip, you comply for Sam’s sake. She called you a good girl, after all. You kept bouncing on her slender and now thoroughly soaked fingers, your slick all over her pants and you saw how it trickled down to damp and darkened the very upholstered chair. Seeing yourself blushing and so fucking used, your pussy squeezed once again over Sam’s fingers and to both of your delight, her thumb pried and did circular motions to your clit.
The pleasure shot you straight in waves over your body and vibrated so deliciously. 
You meet Sam’s thrusts and as you bounced, you also saw how intently focused she was on your reflection.
“God, look at these tits,” Sam roughly squeezed the flesh, making them aggressively jiggle. “I fucking love having you like this baby. Aren’t you my good girl?” she hotly whispered to your reddened ear, giving your earlobe a bite.
Her other hand that supported you by the waist, crawled up to grab the very breasts that she verbally appreciated. 
“Come on, say it.” Sam gave it another squeeze – plenty that made you mewl – and tugged your perk nipple harshly. “and look at me as you do.”
“Yes, yes, yes! I’m.. I’m your good girl!”
“Mine only,” Sam growled and you felt her teeth sinking in the skin of your neck, biting and nipping. “Oh how I wanted you for so long, like this for me…”
You moan as you turn your head, not minding the awkward angle, not in this needy state of yours you did mind. Neither did Sam, who was visibly appeased with her pearly grin as you do – even more when you shifted your gaze to the mirror and this time, you actually stared at it. 
“Such a pretty thing, aren’t you?”
Your hand slithered to Sam’s nape, who was almost as breathless as you. You tried to keep a firm grip on her as you feel more lost in the pleasure.
“Yes, Oh… oh! Sam!”
You nod instantaneously making the woman smile even wider. Soon, Sam’s fingers were sloppy wet and rapidly applying pleasure on her pad and focused on your very clit. You couldn’t do anything but elicit more expressive moans and squelching noises that bounced through the room as Sam fucked you dumb. The coil in your stomach finally untangled, leaving you breathless.
You meekly look at your figure in the reflection once again. Your cum trickled down continuously, leaking out of your pulsating hole. Sam panted lowly in your ear and inserted her hand again, making you grab her inner wrist as you felt the oversensitivity. She hushed you to calm down and she was gently pumping. 
It was indeed a pretty sight.
The thick slick of your arousal and cum soon was on your lips, Sam prying it open. It wasn’t up for discussion – you didn’t hesitate either. You taste the bittersweetness coating your tongue and mixed with your saliva, eagerly sucking out of Sam’s fingers. She moaned at your enthusiasm, encouraged by this you sucked more of your remains out of it, your teeth grazing along and Sam pushed it deeper until you felt her slender fingers slightly poking at your throat. 
Once she was satisfied, she handled you differently by flipping your position so now you straddled her leg and faced Sam instead of the mirror. Her lips quickly made its way to give you open mouthed kisses to your sternum, to your neck, finally your mouth.
“You did so well, mi amor. And you were so pretty.” You shyly nodded at Sam’s praise. “Remember that, hm? Regardless of dressing like this – lingerie or not – I’ll look and appreciate you the same way.”
“Mm-hmm,” you lazily nodded and met Sam’s gaze.
After Sam helped you dress your clothes. While being fucked the lights out earlier was heavenly, the walking out of the fitting room was not pleasant at all. Your legs feel like jelly, you can barely walk properly without Sam’s tight support on your waist (you refused her offer of carrying you not wanting to be further embarrassed) but it helped that there weren’t any side glances from the assistants. 
Oh, heavens. You forgot that Martin was also waiting inside the boutique. Even if he remained mum, you couldn’t be any more humiliated today.
Sam pushed back her slightly tousled hair and you helped her smoothen the back of her clothing. As for her trousers, the damage has been done and it’s currently stained with your wetness. An odd sense of pride came at you because you did that.
Sam held the undergarments – even the one she destroyed and fucked you into and personally offered to place it inside of the provided bag and then handed her black card. 
“We’ll take the seat too, the green one in the fitting room. I’ll send someone to pick it up today.” she uttered in what you recognize as her professional voice, the lady simply smiled, replying with Yes, Ms. Loomis, as she agreed with no hesitation.
You hid your face in the crook of Sam’s neck and your cheeks burned. Sam only giggled at your shy reaction. She wrapped an arm around you and brushed your hair gently as she leaned closer to you.
::
“Come back ‘ere.” Sam lazily mutters, voice still raspy. She was still in bed which was such a miraculous sight. Not only because her godly body was exposed but the fact that she stayed in. Her arms were reaching out to you, caressing your bare lower back and eyes barely open. “It’s so cold, you know.”
You gave her a wistful smile. “And you do know that I’m out of clothes here, right? I also happen to have a place of my own, Sam.”
“You can always–”
“–borrow yours, yeah. I know, Sam. But I have to go. My work stuff isn’t here either.”
She sits up fully. “Okay, baby.” Sam replied dejectedly. You shake your head at how she’s acting like a kicked puppy and barely the same as an insatiable sex god from last night. “How about I drive you home? This is an inarguable offer, by the way.”
Sam gave you a pointed look and you can’t help but think if she’s tricking you – seducing you, almost. She’s unashamed with her nakedness and the way she crossed her arms, further made her biceps prominent, the mysterious scar across them, and her supple breasts gave you a mouthwatering view. You chose to ignore how your stomach fluttered at her use of endearment. The more time you spend with Sam, the more they slip out.
“Don’t talk business to me, Sam. You’re so annoying.” You turn back fully facing her with an impish disbelief, grasping at the sheets to cover yourself. 
Sam looked at you with childish glee on her face. “Excuse me, you were the one who brought up work. I’m simply reminding you of what you are absolutely missing while I’m on leave for today, mi princesa.”
“Fine, fine. It's not my fault that I’m a corporate slave.”
“That’s why being with me is a good idea.” Sam insists with a kiss on your jugular notch. “Come on, I was planning to make your favorite dish. Maybe you can do it with me, what do you think?” 
“Very professional.” You sigh at Sam’s silliness unfolding in front of you. “You just know all the right words to say…”
She crawled her way to you, shutting you up by capturing your lips with soft ones. It was chaste and you felt her smile in between. Moments like this only tugged at your heartstrings. It deluded you that it was somehow coming home to your girlfriend, only to be shaken to the reality of you knowing it was an unlabeled limbo with an old friend. So you shift, initiating with much force this time, getting rough with how you were kissing Sam as though it was your last time. 
“Am I still annoying if I do… this?” You feel Sam’s calloused fingers smoothly trailing on your inner thighs, making you shiver. You throw your head back as you reeled to her touch. The familiar wetness reemerged on your core once again.
Before she could do anything else, her phone rang. Sam immediately went for it and barely a trace of her sweet disposition remained as she excused herself.
You blinked at her reaction, paying not much mind to it. Instead, you let your body relax in the softest mattress you’ve ever laid on and quickly, you’re pulled by the thoughts of Sam again, missing her already as you sprawl onto the bed, smelling the distinct coconut shampoo and addicting lotion that she uses and how it clung to the space you laid in. 
Half an hour had passed. Getting up, you look around where she could have been, only to find her out in one out of two living rooms, absorbed with the phone call she's in. It wasn’t your plan to eavesdrop but your heart sank soon as the words became much clearer to your ears. 
"Yes, I'm dropping by the strip club tonight... of course." 
Strip club… tonight? Her words came out in a hush, obviously Sam didn’t want to be heard or rather, caught. No wonder she has been insistent on you to stay this morning. 
You simply weren't Sam's fix for this evening.
With cautious steps, you retreat back to Sam's bedroom and with the disgust that brewed in, bile rising in your throat, you start dressing up.
"I thought we agreed that you're staying?" Sam raised her hands in confusion.
"Work couldn't wait, sorry. It’s bugging me the more I ignore it.”
Sam’s face fell immediately at your sudden change of mind. Your heart twinged a little, almost believing that it was genuine.
"Alright. Let me drive you home, (y/n/n)."
Your smile twitched as you hummed in agreement. Suspicion and confrontation will rise if you didn’t, and given what you just found out, you truly didn’t feel up for it.
"I'm bummed that you won't be cooking with me, just so you know. I'll make it alone - don't worry, it will be filled with love and care, a perfect fix as you get your reports done." Sam enthusiastically clasped her hands to you and it only made harder for you to stop the tears that were threatening to pour.
The way Sam took you in her grasp, arms loosely clung around your neck and the mesmerizing gaze she held was doing the opposite reaction. You felt repelled, uneasiness continued to flow through your mind. You've just heard her in the same beat a few minutes ago planning to go to not only a mere club to drink for fun - but a strip joint? Her intentions became even more confusing to you.
Your resolve was crumbling and it was becoming apparent when Sam leaned in for a hopeful kiss and you dodged it, her puckered lips hit the corner of your mouth instead. If she was baffled and had finally picked up your sour mood, you didn't see it as you continued to avoid her gaze.
The car ride was silent. It didn't even occur to you that Sam actually drove you home, but instead of filling the space with laughter and bickering over your taste in music, the two of you were met with an odd silence. You peer at the window throughout the ride, the silent turmoil grew inside of you at the backseat as the car drove on your way home. Eyes fluttering rapidly, you feel the waterworks coming in. Of course this was only a matter of time before it was confirmed to you that you weren’t only the one being fucked by Sam. 
You felt gross. The inkling worry that filled you previously turned out to be right. You just hated yourself for blindly trusting her and giving further meaning to her mistaken gentleness. 
::
Honestly, you did plan that to be your last time to see Sam.
At least temporarily, you wanted to avoid her. You kept making excuses about how you had a lot of work to do. You knew it was unrealistic to actually avoid her forever, not when you literally were tangled with her on her sheets for a couple of months already. Unless you were to flee the country, of course. The idea is slightly tempting. You consider it, albeit impractical, it’s one of your last resort of choices. 
You were used to her scent from her bedsheets to her clothes and to her sleepy self arguing that she is very much awake during your random movie nights, her voice – everything revolves around Sam now and you hated it.
It felt like you were a teenager again with a hopeless crush on the girl you’ve liked from afar for years.
Even as you pulled away from Sam, your brain was racking through heaps of what-if thoughts – were you ever enough? Why did she have to make you feel so special, leading you into this domestic bliss? She always made time. Besides the good, you witnessed her downs, the aggressiveness, how her indistinguishable job took a toll on her. All because she let you in. You wondered why she even thought of you as worthy as such, yet made you feel of being less than that, at the same time?
However, if there is a light to all of this domesticity you shared with Sam that gave you warmth, there were also a lot of questionable actions that she specifically kept on doing. She appeared hesitant with dropping you off to your house and insists that one of her drivers will do the honors instead – with the sex on the table, it made you feel disposable and cheap – or how sometimes hours after sex; you get a sleepy glimpse of Sam sneaking onto the balcony. The faint noises of her raised voice in her phone, doing god knows what – you were there, unaware if it was a conversation with another woman and maybe, just maybe, Samantha Loomis wasn't as heartfelt as you naively believed her to be.
As you expected she didn’t drop by at your house. Her little gifts and take outs from restaurants that you liked and visited with her continued to be sent every weekend. You didn’t know whether it was out of pity or a proper goodbye in her own terms, making your stomach churn uncomfortably at the thought.
Your friends weren’t any less worried even with your now constant appearances for hangouts and karaoke nights, they gently explained that your mind often fled elsewhere and your gloomy disposition was noticeable. It’s not that they were annoyed, your friends were concerned more than anything. So, you finally open up but not too much. You retell you were in this Friends with benefits recently and it ruined your sanity, for better or worse, all in vague descriptions. After all, you were sure that now Sam was more likely ashamed of being seen by you and wanted to keep her bachelorette status.
The chorus of oh sweetie in an understanding tone immediately came and when they hugged you, it worsened the longing you felt for Sam and how you have been entangled with her this whole time.
“It sucks how you can get roped into that so suddenly.” Jane, your friend, empathised. “does that count as a situationship – or whatever it is they call it nowadays?”
“Let’s call it friends with benefits for the sake of simplicity.” Margo, the colleague who ironically was one of the main reasons why you got into the gala and met Sam, nodded her head with no hesitation. “I don’t understand why it is that hard to communicate something simple as that. And getting her fix of pleasure in another place, too, Jesus Christ.”
“Feels a bit of a power trip to me. Based on what you’ve said, how she’s got a sexy mysterious vibe going on and while that sounds sexy in other ways, I can only imagine how it must’ve taken a toll on you, (y/n).” Jane adds with a forlorn expression on her face.
They were expressive with their opinions - you liked how your friends were very protective of you. They felt betrayed almost as much as you do soon as you mentioned that Sam was a friend of yours way back.
Although, you hated how there’s a lump in your throat and a part of you was ready to jump in Sam’s defense. Before you drown more in the thoughts of her, you decided to pour another shot. 
“Fuck that. Let’s drink to this,” your words come out slurred and your friends only follow suit.
Sam didn’t stop spamming you with messages. It was expected considering that she’s the most insistent person you have met yet. Still, you shrug her off, saying that you work overtime these days and you don’t feel like being a booty call for a while – or ever for her. But Sam’s resolve proved to be unwavering as she updated you about her thoughts and invites of coming back home; her words, not yours.
::
“You know, if you’re up for it, you should totally meet this girl. Most blunt person I’ve met yet, so.” Margo indiscreetly implies that it shouldn’t be as troublesome as your previous limbo was. “She’s also really hot. And just down for either something casual or serious, depends how you talk about it.”
“Margo, you know I don’t think–” you shake your head. Besides being full of what-ifs and considering that you might have a good time, your thoughts keep bouncing back to a specific Latina in your mind.
Your mind swirls, not knowing why it feels like a betrayal deep down.
“Just give it a chance.” Margo interrupts, firm with her stand. “One date. It’s also been almost two weeks since you’ve been moping. You know we don’t mind that but- I just wanted to tell you that the dating pool is full of choices. 
What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
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do not repost/translate on other sites. © wandagcre
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miniwheat77 · 1 year ago
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Shakin’ (Ghost x Reader.)
!I aged Simon up a bit for this chapter. He’s around 44. Smut, unprotected p in v sex, (wrap it up-_-) military talk, teasing, you know the drill babes, absolutely NO MINORS, enjoy!
(Bc I bet Simon totally listened to Eddie Money when he was a teen XD. Obvi my song inspo is Shakin’ by Eddie Money.)
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At this point, everything he did was routine. 141 had Simon busy most of the time so he didn’t spend too much time off base anymore. He had nothing better to do, the most exciting thing he did was stop by a bar with Johnny and Price. That was it. A round of new recruits were coming and this was always the hardest part, getting used to the newbies. Because some of them were insufferable. Ghost liked to be left alone. But the new recruits were always all over him. Trying to make friends and be nice and ask for advice which he didn’t mind, not at all. But sometimes he’d just want to be left alone.
For some reason, there weren’t many women on base. Aside from a couple that didn’t work out for… inappropriate reasons. There was no one but Laswell around.
“Ghost.” The scot accent pierces his ears and he turns to see Soap approaching with a girl by his side. “This is Y/N. She’s one of the new recruits.” He tilts his head to you. Ghost nods his head. “Hi.” You send a small wave his way. “Hey.” He says. “See, he doesn’t bite.” Soap laughs. “No, but I might.” You smile. Your sly smile pierces Simon right to his core, a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time. As you walked away with Johnny, he wondered what the hell that was.
He didn’t know it, but it was the start of something special.
You settle in pretty quickly and Ghost sees how well you and Johnny get along together. He sees the both of you together quite often. Ghost worried about him catching feelings for you, and having you turn out to be like every other girl that’s come onto this base. A barracks bunny.
His worries all came to an end when he watched you resist every guy on base. Seriously, they’ll hit on you while you’re sitting across from the both of them and you’ll have to spin around and tell them to piss off.
You’re usually eating, listening to something Soap is saying and someone will walk up behind you and start trying to flirt with you. He can see the immediate anger on your face, wanting to be left alone.
Something Ghost didn’t expect is the both of you to start spending time together. Without Johnny around. You were a productive soldier. Always offering to help, always busy doing something around the base. You hardly ever complained about something and when you did it’s usually because you hurt in some kind of way. Which he understood all too well. You always offered to help him with anything he was doing. Jumping right up when he was going to do some heavy lifting. So the two of you started hanging out and doing those things together like it was second nature. A routine. Ghost started catching feelings for you pretty quickly and he tried to avoid it.
Especially after he found out how young you were.
You followed him out to load up the Humvee, and you spoke about your parents. Something about the age of your mum made Simon perk up. “Wait. How old are you?” He asks. You smile. “Why you want to know?” You smirk. “Because it sounds like your mum is about the same age as me and that means you’re really young.” He freezes up. “Yeah, I’m 21.” His eyes widen. “Jesus Christ. You do not look that young. You’re really mature for your age.” He mumbles, tossing a box into the back of the Humvee. He hears you chuckle. “Yeah, I get that a lot. But.. age doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.” The slyness of your words have the hair on his neck standing up. “Yeah right, I’m old enough to be your dad.” He rolls his eyes.
You set a box down, only maybe a foot away from him. “Doesn’t scare me.” You smile. Stepping away from him. What exactly did you mean by that? Were you… flirting with him?
“Rosanna’s daddy had a car she loved to drive.” You mumble out the lyrics as you pass by Ghost. You don’t see him yet but he’s there. As soon as those lyrics hit his ears, he smiles. Reminding him of when he was a teenager, being crazy. Something he didn’t seem to think about too often anymore. “Stole the keys one night and took me for a ride.”
“Fuck.” You mutter as the box splits open, the contents of it falling out the bottom. Ghost steps out of the darkness. “What you singing there sweetheart?”
You jump when you hear him behind. “Jesus Christ.” You breathe. Tugging an earbud out of one of your ears. “Gave me a heart attack.” You laugh. Theres something inside of him brewing. Looking at you now, he knows there’s no going back.
He can only pray Johnny has no feelings for you, because there’s no going back. “Price told me to get you and check out some surrounding areas. Take the Humvee.” He nods. “Really?” You ask. He nods his head, lying through his teeth. What Price doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
He could still hear your music through your earbuds.
“Turned up the music just as loud as it could go, blew out the speakers in her daddy’s radio. She was shakin’” he smiles. “Eddie Money ah?” He asks. Hearing you laugh.
“Of course.”
“Snappin her fingers, she was movin’ round and round. That girl was shakin’”
“Come on, let’s go.” He helps you put everything back into the box, telling you to worry about it later. When you get inside the Humvee, he snags one of the earbuds from you. Sliding it into his ear. He pulls out of the garage. He could get in so much trouble over this, but can’t remember the last time he’s done something this crazy. You haven’t done anything and you’ve already lit a fire inside of him.
“We started drinkin’ wasn’t thinking too straight. She was doing 80 and she slammed on the breaks. Got so high we had to pull to the side. We did some shakin’ til the middle of the night.”
He reaches his hand across the middle, resting it on your thigh. You tense up immediately, turning to look at him. “Ghost.. what are you doing?” You ask. His hand glides further up, and he hears you gasp. “Simon-“ you laugh.
“Shakin’, snappin’ her fingers. She was up and down and round and round. Shakin’”
“Cmere baby, sit in my lap.” He forces you over onto him, facing the steering wheel. You can feel his bulge against your ass. You twist around in his lap. Straddling him and keeping your face tucked into his neck so that he can see. He groans as you start attacking his neck. Sucking and biting at his skin. “Fuck.” He mutters under his breath. “Drive me fucking crazy.” He hisses.
“I got a little nervous. She took her coat off. She looked so pretty, ah yeah.”
He takes in a deep breath as you reach for his cargo pants. “Focus on the road. Don’t kill us.” You laugh. “Fuck- doing my best.” He laughs. You unzip his pants, tugging his cock through the hole in his boxers until you could see it. Taking a deep breath. You wiggle your own cargo pants down, off of one leg, freeing up your hips, you straddle him.
“I’m always talkin’ baby, talkin’ too much. I love that little girl and I just can’t get enough. It takes a lonely night with nowhere to go, just call Rosanna and it’s a hell of a show.
And she’s shakin’”
A hiss leaves his lips as he grips your hips with his rough hands. You swallow him up, sliding down onto him. He’s driving fast, way faster than he should. But he’s so fired up from you, he can’t help it. It’s fucking thrilling. Your skin is soft compared to his calloused hands. He grits his teeth, muscles tightening in his body as you slide down around him. Clutching onto him like a glove. The music is loud, nearly hurting your ears as you rock your hips into him. “Fuck- fucking hell you’re a minx.” Simon grits his teeth harder, gripping onto you and rocking his hips up to meet yours. He presses his foot into the gas harder, thanking whatever god is out there that this road is empty.
The pleasure is white hot, wrapping around the base of his spine and working its way up. You make him feel young again, like a crazy teenager. You attack his neck, you’re loud and you can’t help it as you ride him, raising yourself up onto him and moving back down. Riding him like your life depends on it. Chasing after that high. You bury your face into the crook of his neck, crying out. You gasp out when he slams onto the breaks, pulling over onto the side of the road. He forces you to look at him after he throws it into park. He grips your hips tightly, thrusting up into you. “Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy.” He growls. He grasps the bottom of his balaclava, tugging it over his head. He grips your chin, pulling you in to kiss him. You’re whining as he fucks up into you.
The windows are starting to fog up, your bodies are sweaty as they move against each other. He feels hot, fully dressed. Feelings just how hot the two of you have made it in the car. The fat of your hips clutched hard between his massive hands. Making you feel small as he fills you up. You stare him in the eyes, keeping eye contact. You smile, making him narrow his eyes. “What?” He asks. “Do I intimidate you Simon?” You smile. He shakes his head. “What are you talking about?”
“You seemed intimidated by me flirting with you.” You wrap your arms around his neck, rocking into him. He’s panting almost. “Just not used to it. Usually it’s the other way around. I’m supposed to intimidate you.” He laughs. Clutching onto the seat of the Humvee. “Fuck- you’re getting me close sweetheart.” He grits his teeth. “Me too.” You breathe, adjusting yourself one last time. He tilts his head back against the seat and you lean in, biting down on his throat, feeling his pulse against your tongue. His breaths pick up. He’s getting close, you can tell. He wraps his arms around your waist and holds you tight. Thrusting up into you. “Fuck- fuck baby. I’m gonna cum.” He gasps. His eyes roll back and his lips part. He gasps, hips jerking up into you. Your eyes narrow shut, closing tight. That knot forming in your belly. The warmth of him sends you over the edge, crying out into the crook of his neck. He holds you tight to him like you’ll fall apart if he lets go.
Your thighs shake as he adjusts you in his lap. “You did so good.” He breathes. “Such a good girl for me.” He breathes. He hears you laugh into him. “Fuck. We’re gonna be in so much trouble when we get back.” You mumble against him. “Yeah, probably.”
“One more, make it worth our while?” He smirks. You glide your tongue over your bottom lip. “Let me restart the song.” You giggle.
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grapefives · 8 months ago
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im in love w how u wrote for hoshina.... can i ask for more please 🙏🙏 any fluff or teasing (him) would be ok i just binged kn8 and fell for him 😩 ( also male reader rise up bc this man makes ME rise up i get cuteness aggression w him sb)
HIGH, HIGH | OS
hoshina x gn!reader (platoon leader reader!)
fluff + teasing + cuteness aggression + light mentions of injuries
a/n: (IMPLIED MALE READER) stop, i feel the same way. i just wanna east him up
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your eyes won’t stop looking at those narrowed eyes, the ends of his bangs falling softly over them and casting a pretty shadow. you trail down to his cute nose, then to his lightly puckered lips. you smile, biting it back when you sense his narrowed gaze flitting towards you.
“y/n.” hoshina says sternly.
“yes?” you ask, returning your gaze to the belt you have yet to fasten around your waist.
damn him, he always catches your gaze before you look at the best parts.
“nothing,” he says, and he turns around to look around for his swords.
he can’t hide from you. you know your fiancé too well. you catch the redness in his ears as he gives his back to you. you eyes down at his waist, smiling at the empty slits on the back of his belt. you take the swords you had sneaked out of them and trudge up to him. he’s murmuring softly to himself as he looks around.
“-swear i never take them out-“ he says before pausing.
you put the swords back in their rightful spot before placing both your hands on his waist, a bit above the belt hanging around him. he’s not exactly frozen in place, but pausing with anticipation. you only smile, leaning your whole weight from behind to press him forward a bit…only to place a kiss on the shell of his ear.
he shivers before smacking your arm when you quickly step away with a cackle.
he glares at the back of your head as you walk out of the office, saying something about finding out the commander over an inquiry. he knows your lying, to an extent at least. he makes sure he has everything on him before walking out, he has to watch the officers practice and go through their training.
“hoshina?” a voice asks in his in ear.
“yes captain?” he asks, his boots thumping the polished floors as he walks down the corridor.
he listens in to her concerns and to her comments. his day goes on like that, he doesn’t see much of you throughout the day, it’s always like that. he’s immersed in office work while you’re more immersed in hands on, physical work. his mind sometimes goes back to how you two met, that mission that made his heart skip a beat around you.
where you had to drive the team out. where you kept scaring the living shit out of everyone with your recklessness. where you kept getting scolded and had the audacity to drag him into it. where you had smiled at him and winked when he glared at you.
“boom!” you open the door to his office with a loud exclamation.
“how’d the mission go?” he asks, yet doesn’t look up at you.
“well sweetheart, grant me a pretty smile and i’ll let you know.”
he rolls his eyes before looking up at you. the papers in his hands go slack but he remains calm. “you’re hurt?”
you flash a grin at him. “i miss those days when you’d drop everything and run up to me to check where i’m hurt.” you sigh out nostalgically.
he rolls his eyes, “after years with you, sweetheart, i’m used to the sight of you injured.”
“eh? hoshina from yesterday wouldn’t have said that.”
he looks back up at you, “what are you talking about?”
“yesterday you ran up to me and kissed me.”
“yesterday you went radio silent mid fight.”
he tries to glare you down but your eyes are soft, and your lips wear a small smile. you’re looking at him so tenderly he almost melts. he sighs and stands up. he melts.
“come here you baby.” you say with wide arms.
“how about you come here?” he huffs.
“because i’m in so much pain!” you yell and drop dead to the floor.
“ah, honey, you’ll get my floors dirty.” he squats down next to you, eyeing your face as you grin up at him.
“just me?” you grin teasingly.
his eyes widen before falling back narrowed. he lightly pushes your face away in an act of annoyance. you turn your face back to him and as fast as he normally is, with you, he’s always slow. before he knows it he’s tackled to the floor.
“ah- y/n! aren’t you in pain?” he looks up at you, a smile on his lips.
“yeah, my knee just popped back in place i think.”
“eh-?” he frowns. he tries to look at your frame but your caging him underneath your body.
you smile smugly at him, a hand grazing over the side of his ribs. “see, i got stabbed here, with one of the kaiju’s spikes.” you trail your hand down to his knee, voice softening and lowering, “i got thrown across the street and dislocated my knee trying to hop off a platform to run up to it.”
he stares up at you, listening to your storytelling. he knows what you’re doing and as much as he hates it, he loves how his heart still races at your warm touch.
“then, i had to duck and i think i sprained my hamstrings,” your hand moves lower down his thigh and his breathing gets slightly shallow-
“a-am i interrupting?” okonogi asks at the door.
hoshina gasps, trying to shove you away. you laugh and pat his thigh before getting off of him.
“no dear, we were just talking.” you smile up at her.
“o-on the floor?”
you nod, smiling wickedly at the flush on hoshina’s cheeks. “i was telling the vice captain how the mission went.”
“oh! i brought the reports about it actually, since you asked for them,” she says, forgetting what she saw to hand you the folder.
you sit criss crossed and thank her. “well dear,” you say to hoshina, tapping his head with the folder as you easily get up from that sitting position, “you should get back to work, i was only here to see you and you attacked me.”
“eh?” okonogi tilts her head.
“ah, how bad of me to want to inspect your injuries, honey.” he grits.
“you can inspect all you want,” you grin, pulling him up to his feet.
“hope you get better platoon leader y/n!” okonogi says cheerfully, “good to see you vice captain,” she bows respectfully before leaving.
you watch her leave and close the door. you look away for a second before smiling, moving your sight to hoshina who’s glaring you down. ah, how cute! he’s so cute when he’s all grouchy! only you get the worst out of him.
“yah!” he yells as your hug him and bite down on his cheek. “GET OFF!”
“BUT YOU’RE SO CUTE, BABY! WHY SO POUTY?” you ask as you grab his face, folder long forgotten and on the floor now.
“because you always interrupt my work-“ he frowns as you squish his face. your grip is strong and he glares at you.
“how can i not when i love you so much?” you grin before kissing his entire face as he grunts. ah, you just wanna eat him up!
“i love you too- DON’T BITE ME!” he screams and you cackle.
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seriesxwriting · 3 months ago
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HII! hello, how are you?
May I request a Spike x Reader (could be established relationship), where reader isnt quite a witch and is human but does have abilities? Bonus if those abilities have side effects bc we love a worried and protective Spike <33
(I'll leave the actual powers up to you)
TY!!
Thank you for this request, it’ll start off my Spike fics I’ve wanted to begin for a while!! I hope you enjoy :). (Sorry it took me so long to post I’ve been really ill and busy).
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I quite like protecting you
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Series: Buffy the vampire slayer
Pairing: Spike X Female reader
Summary: Request!
Warnings: Kissing.
Requests are open always!
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“They’re getting worse spike” i mumble in the darkness into his chest. His muscular arms were wrapped around my body tightly. “I know babe- we will figure it out I promise” he told me brushing a hand through my hair. “I’m just so scared of outing myself at school- or in public” “I’m scared too- I don’t want to lose you” spike whispered back to me. I felt a lot safer in his arms than I had done all day.
With these unknown powers within me growing stronger everyday, I never knew when I was safe. Only when I was entangled with him. If anything good came from this situation, it brought me and spike closer. His words became extra soppy now, and I loved it. “Well I’m not going anywhere willingly” I told him, I heard him chuckle and his hand came down my back rubbing my spine.
“We just need to take one day at a time, we will figure it out- tomorrow’s a new day” he told me before brushing his lips against my forehead. "Okay" I breathed out closing my eyes and tried to go to sleep. It was a lot easier with Spike, if I had been on my own it would have proved more difficult.
I woke up a little late for school so the morning was kind of a rush. Spike just laid in bed watching me run about my room for a while before getting ready himself. He offered to take me to school, after seeing that the day was very cloudy, so I didn't have to drive seems I was stressed out. Spike was also a lot more confident at driving than me so it saved me time too. "I'll pick you up too okay" he smiled as I collected my things up.
"Are you sure?" "yes- ive got nothing on for the day anyway and you're my priority" he moved his hand over to my leg and rubbed my knee with his thumb comforting me. "Thank you- I'll see you at the end of the day then" I leant over and gave him a quick kiss before getting out of my car and running off to Tutor.
Spike waited for me to go out of sight before parking his car and getting out. He snuck his way into the school and tried to locate the library to complete his plan of action. That was what he had going on today. Once finding it he pushed the doors open and sure enough, Buffy was sat with her friends and Giles around one of the tables. They all looked at who had just walked in in utter shock.
"What the hell are you doing here" Buffy darted her head backwards in pure confusion. Spike swallowed hoping that things now were going to go his way. He walked slowly towards the table and sat up on the one behind Buffy. "I really need your help- I didn't know who else to turn to" he muttered almost a little embarrassed he had to come here to Buffy of all people.
"Why would I help a vampire- especially you" Buffy questioned making her eyebrow raise as she turned her full attention to Spike. "And after you broke into the school" Giles added, his face was obviously very weary of Spike. "I wouldn't be here if I had any other option would I?" he admitted gaining a little bit of confidence realising he needed a result today. "My girlfriend she goes here- you might even know her Y/N Y/L/N" he began explaining.
The students looked around at each other to see if anyone recognised the name, but no one did. Xander shrugged along with willow. "Well she must be a nerd" Cordelia voiced, looking at her nails and not caring about the conversation at all. "S-she's not a n-erd- look it doest matter if you don't know her- she goes here and she's been struggling recently".
"With what?" Buffy asked curiously, slowly becoming more interested. "I don't know how to explain it- she's developed these weird powers and she can't control them, ive never seen anything like it in all my years" he expressed with high concern, everyone could see how worried he was. "So she's a witch?" Willow piped up getting a little excited but the fact she wasn't understanding just pissed Spike off more.
"No- she's human, I wouldn't be here if she was a witch she's different- I don't understand her abilities so I don't know how she will either" he stated getting frustrated with the conversation. "If you're going to bring that attitude you can use the door- you know where it is" Giles tutted at the vampire. "Please Buffy we need your help- she's going to end up putting herself if something isn't done" Spike looked towards her with slight tears in her eyes. He didn't even care how desperate he looked, he was desperate. That was fact.
"Okay we will take a look- try and work out what is wrong with her- but because she's a human who needs our help not because she's your girlfriend" Buffy told him sticking her finger out at him. Spike sighed with relief that he'd done what he'd come here to do. "Thank you Buffy- I owe you one" he cracked a wide smile across his face making her smile too. He didn't smile very often.
"I didn't even know you had a girlfriend" Cordelia looked up at the man who shrugged his shoulders. "The more people who know about her the more danger she's in- I have a lot of enemies" he admitted standing up now. "and she- knows what you are?" Xander wondered tilting his head at Spike. "Of course- she knows everything" he nodded withholding the excitement he felt even talking about his girlfriend.
"You can bring her here later tonight, we will need the books if we are to figure out what is going on with her" Giles told Spike, not even moving his head from his current book to talk to the vampire. "I will- thank you- I'll get out of your hair" he clapped his hands together and exited the room so he could go and find a snack before school ended. "I have never seen spike so worried before- he must really like this girl" Buffy told the group.
"Well- we can only hope she's nothing like Spike" Giles took a deep sigh before closing his book and looking at his watch as his wrist turned. "Tutor is almost over, you guys should head to your lessons" "Ugh I hate sports first thing in the morning" Willow moaned through her head backwards. "Come on- the quicker we get it over with the quicker lunch comes" Buffy wiggled her eyebrows getting up from her chair.
Xander split off from them as he had to head to math, but the three girls walked to their gym class together. Turning into the locker rooms, no one else was present as it was too early and everyone else was finishing up in tutor.
I had gym class too but as I was sitting in tutor I could feel my table beginning to rock from side to side without me touching it. I washed in horror as it began speeding up. I there my hands onto it to stop it from rocking but I had no luck. Panic spread throughout my body as heads were starting to turn now. "Y/N! will you stop rocking that damn table" the teacher snapped at me. I grabbed my bag in a panic and got up from my table running out of the classroom.
I could feel a bigger reaction coming from all the stress from that situation. my eyes darted around, in a Minet everyone would be coming out of their form classes. My eyes landed on the locker rooms which I assumed were going to be empty. I ran towards them and just as the door closed behind me a large wave of energy forced itself out of me.
All the locker doors swung open and slammed shut again. I looked around the room painting, feeling relived it was over. until three faces appeared round the other side of the lockers. My heart pounded against my chest, id done it now- exposed myself. I grabbed the door handle planning to leave school and go home.
"Wait!" one of the girls yelled out, throwing herself towards me "You must be y/n" she called out with a sympathetic smile on her face. "Please- don't tell anyone" I swallowed, tears began swimming in my eyes. It was too late now. This answer was going to dictate the rest of my life. "We aren't going to" the ginger girl shook her head vigorously. "You must be spikes girlfriend huh?" the blonde one smiled, nodding at a seat trying to make me feel more comfortable.
"D- do you know Spike?" I asked her stuttering for the fear of the power they held over me in this moment. I began to walk closer to them and they all sat down on the bench. "We all know Spike" the other girl nodded her head. "Im Buffy" the blonde girl stuck her hand out towards me. "I'm willow" the ginger one waved making me feel a lot better about the situation. I turned to the other one who just blinked at me.
"Surely you know who I am" she laughed shaking her head, I stayed quite not having a clue what her name was. "That's Cordelia" Buffy rolled her eyes making me smile a little. "Seriously? you don't know my name?" she questioned, genuinely baffled that I didn't know her. "Oh well- I know it now" I nodded once but she still looked highly offended. "Spike came to us this morning and asked for our help- we're going to help you control whatever powers you have developed".
"How?" I wondered, twiddling my fingers together awkwardly. In that second my hair started floating all around my face unnaturally. I at first thought I was doing it but I then saw Willows hand twitching my her hip. "I'm a witch" she smiled enthusiastically at me. "Oh- i'm not a witch Spike said so" "No you're not- but i'm a slayer and together as a group we have quite a lot of knowledge on the supernatural- im sure we can figure it out" Buffy smiled at me sweetly.
I nodded and matched her smile feeling a whole lot better about the situation. "Why don't you stick with us today- then after school we can call Spike and get everything sorted out" Buffy offered with a hug of her shoulders. "Why are you being so nice? why are you helping?" I questioned, overthinking their kindness. "Well it is my job" Buffy chuckled.
"And Spike asked us as a friend to help you so... not that I would ever admit that to him" "your relationship sounds- complicated" I laughed behind my hand. "You can say that again" Buffy joined in nodding her head. And so that's what I did, I hung out with Buffy, Willow and Cordelia the whole day. At lunch time I met Xander and Giles, and I realised that they had a pretty solid group. They shared stories about all the things they had done and I left the conversation having high admiration for them and especially Buffy.
I didn't have another episode the whole day because I spent most of it not even thinking about my powers but about my new friends. They made me laugh all day, smile all day. And completely take my mind off the fact my world was crashing down around me. After school I went out to Spikes car, where he was waiting for me in the same spot he dropped me off. "Wheres your stuff?" he questioned looking slightly confused.
"In the library" I told him waiting for him to catch on. Spike took a second but then looked to me worriedly. "It's okay" I laughed at his facial expression. "You're not in trouble". Spike got out of the car and came round my side. "I'm sorry" "don't be sorry" I giggled as he pulled me into a hug. "I shouldn't have been so sneaky about it- I should have just told you my plan from the beginning instead of hoping you wouldn't find to and telling you later".
I laughed again shaking my head and pulling away from the hug, his hands still rested on my waist and mine on his face. "You don't have to apologise I can't thank you enough for trying to help me- these are some great people you done well Spike- I really think they can help me" I told him excitedly. "I've not seen that look on your face for a long time" he brushed a thumb across my cheekbone. "Because I have hope Spike and i'm excited about it".
"Well- then i'm only sorry I didn't think of going to Buffy sooner" "stop saying sorry" I laughed, playfully nudging him "you've done great- you've been great all the way through this- thank you for being by my side" "I quite like protecting you Y/N" he cupped my face with his right hand and pulled me in for a gentle kiss. "I like it too- it's attractive" I winked at him taking him by the hand.
"Come on- to the library".
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binsito · 1 year ago
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Bestie idea..cuz I have dad!skz on my mind a lot .....laundry room quickies or quickies while baby sleeps
With any of them 😫😫😫😫
i propose to you.. ot8 dad!skz 😝 (i have been incredibly unwell after seeing chan with those babies..)
(i started this in 2023 but that above statement still holds true)
also not all of these involve laundry rooms and/or sleeping so i hope you don't mind bc i didn't want to be redundant with the scenarios! :]
warning: parenthood! pretty tame ngl! just lots of sex with dad!skz 🤤 unprotected piv, pet names such as "baby," "good girl," etc in a sexual setting, i believe minho is the only one that is specified as a boyfriend rather than a husband but who gives a fuck, jeongin has slight somno, a few might have slight exhibitionism/voyeurism/semi public sex but nothing crazy, cum, uhh fingering, mentions of oral, breeding in some, tit play, yeah!
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bangchan: he's busy, you're busy - it's only a matter of time before you both just explode. he works hard at his office job and he's sick of getting business calls even on the weekend. so he decides to cash out some of his vacation hours just to spend time with you and your sweet baby.
god, he is so lucky..
seeing you take on a motherly role shouldn't be making him feel so fuzzy but he can't help it, you're just gorgeous, so natural at it. he takes it upon himself to help you put the baby to sleep while you do chores around the house.
he startles you when he creeps up behind you as you fold his clothes, letting you know the baby is asleep while he starts kissing on your neck. it gives you goosebumps, you can't remember the last time you had been intimate with chan and it's turning you to putty in his hands.
"what if we had another, hm?"
you try hard not to break out in a laugh - he would definitely have to find a way to juggle work, two babies and a wife efficiently but you knew that was his breeding kink talking.
"you want another baby, channie?" you giggle, playing along with it because you know it gets him going.
"mhm.. another wouldn't hurt right?" he whispers in your ear as he slips his hands under your shirt to squeeze at your bare skin.
before you could even protest, he had you bent over, face between your legs as he prepped you to take him - laundry long forgotten.
you were honestly a little scared of the stretch.. bracing yourself as he inched his cock inside you gently. his grunts and nails digging into your skin was a sign of how tight he was finding you. your cunt around him was driving him crazy and he knew he was going to have a hard time pulling out but what's one more little one, right?
minho: 'im coming back from work now, babe.'
'don't wear anything under your pjs.. im coming straight to you'
those text messages from your boyfriend left you reeling.
of course you followed his request obediently!
you had laid your baby to bed not long ago and you were hoping it would be a peaceful night - no crying or waking up in the middle of the night.
you had made sure to really tire him out to ensure he was out like a light.
and when you heard the front door to your apartment open, anticipation began to boil in your tummy at what awaited you.
you could hear minho fumbling with his belt down the hall before approaching your shared bedroom. cock already half pulled out by the time he reached you, shit eating grin plastered on his face.
"d'you prep yourself for me?"
you nodded, knowing he wanted you wet for him to take for when he got home. you were always so sweet to him, always knew exactly what he needed before he even asked.
he kissed you gently as he tugged your night gown up, the coldness of the air making you shiver a bit as he ran a finger down your wet slit. he angled his cock at your entrance and pushed in, letting your cunt envelop him. god, it felt so good to be deep inside of you - he was absolutely crazy about you.
just the feeling of having you around him could make him cum-
the baby monitor goes off, crying loud through the speaker.
"shit.. i got him.." he sighed out, quickly fixing himself as you laughed at him.
you could tell how frustrated he was over having blue balls but fatherly duties were awaiting him.
changbin: baby is out with his parents and as much as you love your little one (who is an exact copy of changbin), you are so glad to finally have the house and your binnie to yourself.
he couldn't contain his excitement much either, his mom wouldn't be back until two with the baby so he made sure to enjoy every second he could with you. he barely let you finish having breakfast before he was tugging you over to the couch. he would've taken you on the counter but
1). it might've been uncomfy for you and he's a gentleman!
2.) despite how needy he was, he wanted to have some decorum!
it felt so good to have his hands roaming your body, he always made sure to be delicate with you. he kissed you so sweetly and was shocked when you broke the kiss so suddenly, a whimper leaving his pouty lips. you smiled and just assured him it was because you wanted to be on top this time.
you?
on top?
who was binnie to deny his gorgeous wife the pleasure of riding him? especially when he would get the perfect view of your nice tits and pretty face. so he laid back, watching as you took a deep breath and aligned his cock with your entrance, breath hitching at the initial breach. his cock thick and heavy but so so good inside of you. your hands planted firmly on his chest as you set a steady bounce, moaning his name as he played with your nipples.
it was so easy to lose yourself to the feeling of his cock, so much so that the ringing of the doorbell almost went unnoticed.
shit.
was grandma and grandpa back so soon with the baby?
no fair, you were just getting started!
hyunjin: hyunjin had just helped put the baby down so you could go take a quick shower. your baby was just as clingy as he was, always throwing a fit if you weren't constantly showering him with kisses.
you didn't mind though, you loved both of your sweet boys and you were so thankful that hyune was such a great dad.
it felt nice to take a peaceful shower after such a long day, the water soothing any worries you might've had.
you heard the door to the bathroom open and some rustling as someone opened the shower curtain and got in.
"baby.." you laughed, knowing damn well it was hyunjin behind you. he just giggled and wrapped his arms around your waist.
"little one's asleep.. let me just have this with you really quick." he mumbled against your skin
hand reaching to your front so he could find your clit, rubbing softly as you let out a relieved sigh
"you sure he won't wake up?" you whispered
"no, but if he does, he's in the bassinet right outside next to our bed, babe. don't worry okay?"
his words reassured you as you relaxed into his touch, letting his fingers work at you as you leaned your head back into him. all he wanted was to bring you pleasure, he loved watching your pretty face contort and call his name out softly.
"gonna cum for me, angel? c'mon.. let go.." he whispered against your ear, kissing it softly. it gave you goosebumps and the way his fingers diligently rubbed you made your orgasm wash over you.
after showering (and letting him taste you after his endless begging), you both headed out into the room, baby still sleeping soundly.
jisung: there was nothing more exhausting to jisung than having a family dinner.
it was so stressful.
all the catching up and conversations clashing with one another from all sides of the table. at least your baby seemed entertained, playing with spoons while the waiter took everyone's order.
if jisung didn't step out soon, he feared he would literally explode. his parents kept bombarding him with questions and he felt like your family always questioned his worth as a suitable partner and dad.
you always made sure to let him know that you loved him and that he was perfect regardless what he or anyone thought. as soon as you noticed him zoning out and struggling to engage with the family, you excused yourself, asking your mom to watch over the baby while you stepped out with jisung, going on a short walk around the restaurant where you could talk in private.
"baby i-i'm sorry are you mad-"
"what? no.. i needed some fresh air. it was too noisy and stuffy in there.
you're doing your best y'know? im proud of you." you smiled softly at him while giving him a soft peck. you dug into your purse for his cigarettes and handed him one, grabbing the lighter and bringing the flame to the tip once he put the stick in his mouth.
"you gotta relax before going back in there though.." you whispered.
he was always able to relax when he was alone with you, you were comforting. he began blowing some smoke while his hands came up to cup your tits. squeezing them tightly which earned him a mewl. soon he was lowering the top of your dress down to reveal your chest to him, playing with your nipples between his fingers as if your breasts were some type of stress ball for him. you'd laugh at him if you didn't love the sensation of his fingers on you so much. he tossed his cigarette once he got tired of it, preferring to latch on to one of your tits instead.
"c-c'mon ji.. let's not get carried away.. we gotta get back.." you weakly said, but having to cut this short was proving to be difficult for the both of you.
once he got his fix (although if he was honest, he was still craving you), he let go with a loud pop, pulling your top back up with a smile
"thank you, doll.. i think i got the energy to kiss your dad's ass now." he joked.
"hope our princess is surviving his horrible baby talk." you giggled
felix: you and felix had planned a huge party for your baby's first birthday. everyone you both knew was invited, including the baby's eight uncles who loved spoiling her rotten. it was an outdoor party in your backyard, you had even gone as far as renting out a bouncy house for the older kids and a fun kid sprinkler so they could play in the water.
felix was in charge of food, he had spent the whole day on the grill outside making ribs and hot dogs before bringing them inside to set up everything nicely. you followed after him to help, putting everything out on aluminum pans so that people could pick what they wanted from each container.
"good job, babe, these taste great." you smile as you swallowed the piece of meat you had tasted.
he leaned in to kiss you, pulling you in close. he was so happy to get to celebrate your baby's birthday with such a big and wonderful family.
"baby's havin' fun out there. look at her playin' with the water." he giggled as he peeked outside
"what if we had fun of our own? everyone seems to be having a blast out there.." you teased him, hand coming to cup him through his shorts.
you didn't have to tell him twice, pulling himself out of his shorts as you fell to your knees for him. you knew you had to be quick incase anyone came in asking for the bathroom. thank god the kitchen island covered you from anyone who might've looked from the outside in.
felix was so sensitive and the idea of someone walking in made him quickly blow his load in your mouth which you gratefully accepted, licking your lips before you gave his tip a soft kiss.
seungmin:
family vacation was going great! you and seungmin finally got a chance to take your baby out on a trip and spend the weekend at a nice resort alongside other members of your family. it was nice to have a group of you together to enjoy some time away from your stressful lives.
the baby was having fun at the pool in his new floaty and didn't want to leave the water yet so you left him with his auntie while you and seungmin got washed up.
but seungmin was feeling quite handsy the whole day, especially now since you were both along in your room. he tugged on your bathing suit strap and smiled devilishly as your top fell down and exposed your chest.
"minnie we have to get ready for dinner, c'mon.."
"i'm getting ready! see? swim trunks off"
you rolled your eyes as he showed you his hard cock, his hand stroking it to entice you. the mere sight of your husband like that made you want to jump his bones.
"make it quick, hurry." but your voice sounded weak, desperate.
he bent you over the nearest surface and stuffed you full of his cock, not wasting a second where he could be inside of you. he knew he had to be fast, it would only be a matter of time before your sister would be knocking at your door with the baby.
the way he was tugging at your hair had you seeing stars, cock relentlessly hitting your sweet spot. you felt like you'd collapse under him if he kept this pace up but it was too good to protest.
"minnie.. oh god.. c-can the baby sleep with your mom tonight please? please.. n-need more of this.. need you!"
he just laughed at you, giving you a sharp spank.
"what am i supposed to tell her? my wife wants me to fuck her stupid on our family vacation? you want me to tell her how bad you want my cock?"
jeongin: "innie.." you giggled, nudging him gently.
he was not budging at all. you didn't blame him though, it was his night to check on the baby if he started crying and unfortunately for him it was a really difficult night to put him to bed.
you got under the covers and shuffled down until you were face to face with his crotch, rubbing him gently and watching as he grew in his pants.
he began to stir once you pulled him out, licking at his tip and feeling him start to sit up. he lifted the covers slightly to see you taking his cock in your mouth, popping off with a smile.
"happy birthday, baby.." you whispered
he smiled softly and cupped your cheek to bring you up and out from underneath the covers, he kicked the sheets off and pulled you on top of him.
"perfect way to start my morning, hm?" he teased, squeezing your ass tightly before tugging your shorts and panties to the side. his cock prodded against your entrance as he kissed you hungrily.
"finish what you started." he instructed as you began to slowly sink down on him, taking his cock like the good girl you were.
"fuck, jeongin.. need you to cum inside me so bad.."
it was so hard to contain your moans, biting your lip harshly to keep quiet.
"still on birth control, baby?" he asked, eyes hazy because your cunt felt so tight on him and it was making him delirious.
you shook your head, smiling at him playfully.
"gonna make me a daddy on my birthday? huh?" he grunted as he helped you bounce on him, he thrusted up into you and gripped your hips painfully tight.
"shiiit.. gonna cum in this pussy.. pump a baby in you.. give you my seed. will you take it? you're gonna take it."
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please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito
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sillysealll · 3 months ago
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Pls publish more hcs abour dickroy they drive me insane
Well if you insist anon…😊
Teen Titans days HCs :
- Dick became the first sidekick but Roy was pretty close behind and for some time, it was only the two of them and the JL. They barely interacted during that time so Dick always admired Roy from a distance because he thought Speedy was so cool with all his trick arrows (this one is directly taken from the Teen Titans 2003 TV show where Dick is a huge fan of Roy)
- Roy, on the other hand, wanted to get to know him but he was too scared of Batman to dare to approach Robin, who was always glued to the man
- Both of their perspectives changed when Robin, Kid Flash, Wonder Girl and Aqualad formed the Teen Titans and Speedy would drop by. Dick began to find Roy too arrogant and Roy found Dick insufferable
- But they eventually warmed up to each other when Roy officially joined. Though, they kept on bickering even after they started to actually appreciate the other, both too prideful to admit otherwise until wayyyy later
- Another thing that set a gap between them early on was their difference maturity level. Not to say that Roy was childish but he actually knew how to act his age when he could, while Dick was pretty psychorigid. He was acting so beyond his age all the time that it was uncanny for Roy (and most of the team)
- Roy took it upon himself to make Dick act his age and thanks to him and the team, Dick eventually loosen up a more and more around them
- I find the fact that Wally used to be a conservative hilarious (but also sad bc he got it from his parents) and in my mind Dickroy were his exposure therapy
- Even when Speedy was supposed to not like Robin, he couldn’t help but be amazed by Dick’s acrobatics
Outsiders time HCs :
- Roy and Dick shared a place for a little while after Donna’s death because Roy was scared Dick would let himself die while Dick was scared Roy would relapse
- Grace and Anissa used to gossip on Dickroy and at some point the whole team joined them (except for the two aformentioned)
- Unknowingly, Roy stopped Dick from ending his life more times than the latter cares to admit (When he would visit him as Dick was about to grab his gun or call when Dick was about to step off the highest building he could find) Dick never told anyone
- Roy and Dick coddled Lian for weeks after she was rescued from the human trafficking ring and Roy had a hard time bath her without feeling sick to his stomach because of the scar she had kept from that time
Civilians (teen) Dickroy HCs :
- As civilians, Roy and Dick were somehow always put against each other by the media’s and all the comparisons they were making made Roy despise Dick before he even properly met him
- Then they met as civilians in a Gala and they surprisingly clicked together immediately.
- Dick already knew who Speedy was behind the mask and he had to remind himself that Roy had no idea so he wouldn’t be surprise by how different he was treated by Roy whether he had the mask on or not
- On interviews they kept on shitting on each other just to make the media’s gossip about their non-existent rivalry because they thought the headlines were hilarious
- When Roy learned about Dick’s identity he felt so humiliated for not having figured it out that he didn’t speak to Dick for the next three galas they had together (the media’s loved it)
Random HCs :
- Roy and Starfire took Jason under his wing because he has the little brother privilege thanks to Dick (and the fact Roy and Starfire were/used to be helplessly in love with Dick has nothing to do with it, not at all)
- Roy genuinely grows fond of Jason (platonically) but he always has an after-thought about Dick whenever he looks at him
- While Roy is tolerated by most of the batfam, Dick is somehow an honorary member of the Arrow family (it’s because of Lian (and Roy))
(Dick is an honorary member of most families in the DC universe)
- Whenever Dick or Roy doesn’t finish his plate, he pushes it to the other who always finish it
- Roy likes most movies he watches and after coming out of a cinema he loves to talk about the movie to analyse it and compliment it. While Dick is a tad more difficult, he also just want to annoys Roy and every time they watch a movie together, Dick ends up saying he didn’t like it just to see Roy go on a rant for the next fifteen minutes
- Dick pretends he’s bad at cooking just to escape the choir and leave it to Roy, who falls for it every time
- Roy braids hair automatically when he’s doing nothing and has someone beside him. Dick is often seen with small braids in his hair
- Roy is never cold while Dick supports heat pretty well. In winter, Roy is Dick’s heater while Roy just hates Dick in summer because the guy always looks good (both figuratively and literally)
Mmmh okay I think I’m done ?
Hope you enjoyed those silly HCs as much as you enjoyed the previous ones 🤗
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rottingmalice · 5 months ago
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mizuena/ena5 incoherent rant below bc i love them so much im losing my mind
I can't stop thinking about how much of mizuki's conflict in prsk is resolved entirely by ena's actions, not mizuki's own, and that's actually really fucking good. hear me out.
One of the driving emotions for Mizuki's conflict is obviously fear; she's afraid of being left once people know her secret, she's afraid she can only ever have shallow connections with people who wouldn't really accept her as who she is, she's afraid of losing the few friends she has and the one space where she feels like she can express herself through their shared art.
But beyond that, the other driving emotion for her is guilt. She feels guilty that she's been "deceiving" everyone else, she feels guilty that she's left Ena waiting for so long without telling her her secret, she feels guilty that everyone else seems to be moving forward and facing their fears while she seemingly can't. And when her secret is revealed, the strongest emotion she's going through isn't her fear of being left behind, it's the guilt that's been eating her away from the inside.
She tells ena that it can't be the same, that now ena won't be able to treat her the same, that she knows Ena and Kanade and Mafuyu are so kind they'll smile and tell her they're fine with it, but that they'll just be forcing themselves for the sake of kindness. That they'd rather not have to deal with everything that makes Mizuki complicated, but they would anyway because they're kind like that. That she can't bear that. She doesn't deserve that.
And all of this guilt is so real for this young trans girl to feel because it's what we're pushed towards constantly, even when we're supposedly accepted for who we are. The lie that we're deceiving others when we present as our own gender is so deeply written into our collective psyche, and even beyond that, even in "progressive" spaces, the violence we suffer is often treated as our own burden to bear, as something we have to deal with and not burden other people with.
So many basic bitch stories about trans women, with trans women protags written by cis people, have them struggle and "grow" as the story progresses, having to "face their fears", to come out to people they're scared of leaving them, to "trust their loved ones" and take that first step. I think a lot about The Missing, a game that gets a lot of the horror of being a trans girl and yet still has the protagonist, who is so terrified of how her mom would react to her coming out she tries to end her own life, learn the lesson that she should come out anyway, trust this person that's only given her reasons to fear her, because that's the only way for her to move forward.
Mizuki doesn't do that. She doesn't have to. Mizu5 is all about the horror of being outed before you're ready to come out yourself, even to someone you know would show you kindness. And it allows Mizuki to stew in her own guilt, the guilt that she never faced her fears herself, that she's burdening N25 with her suffering. But Ena5 is about Ena, so patient and unwilling to hurt Mizuki, finally being moved to action by kaito and meiko agreeing that it's up to her to be selfish and try to bring Mizuki back, to recognize that Mizuki doesn't want to be alone.
It's up to Ena to do the scary thing, for her to be open and vulnerable about her feelings. For her to go up to Mizuki, despite being ignored for so long, as someone who is so sensitive to being ignored- to being rejected- and to tell Mizuki what she needs- and deserves- to hear. That she's wanted. That Ena doesn't care if Mizuki thinks she deserves it or not, that Mizuki's guilt shouldn't factor in because Ena wants Mizuki beside her.
It's the ultimate transfem fantasy because it's the fantasy of being truly wanted, of being unconditionally loved. It's the fantasy of someone seeing you for who you are, and not just "accepting you" as if it's a favor they're doing you, but going as far as telling you that the way you've been conditioned by a lifetime of violence to feel and act to protect yourself is NOT your fault, it's NOT just your responsibility to deal with, that you deserve someone who will go through the effort of digging you out of that hole and that you're not a burden for needing that.
In a lot of subtle ways, Mizuki's story feels 1000% written by people who understand trans girls so far beyond the scope of the usual explaining-transness-to-cis-people style of narrative, even understanding ways that these narratives fuck up routinely and also understanding exactly what is needed to sneak this into a highly commercial hatsune miku gacha game. There's a lot of compromises made there for the sake of being this kind of story in this kind of game, but what we get in return is so much more meaningful as a transfem narrative than anything of similar popularity that I can think of, it fills me with so much emotion and I truly can't fathom believing it's somehow "bait" or "not real rep" unless you've never had to think about transmisogyny and how it emotionally affects you to this degree.
I'll never stop thinking about them. Congrats on the wedding mizuki and ena. someone like ena is exactly what every trans girl deserves, and never has someone proven herself more deserving of a trans girl's love than ena. i love them both so much my heart feels like it's going to explode whenever i think of them. huge thanks to everyone involved in creating their story
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csainz5 · 2 years ago
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Mine || Charles Leclerc #16
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pairing: charles leclerc x girlfriend!reader
summary: in which seeing people ship you with other drivers fuels the possessiveness in charles.
author notes: can u tell ive been obsessed with culpa mia. also this is my first charles fic (!!!) i made sm tweaks to the original req im so sorry 😭 deff been in a slump recently bc exams but 🙏 no beta read!! this one is still raw asf lol
req: yes/no.
wc: 1.2k words
————
the air as the weekend approached was filled with an adrenaline of its own. drivers loitering on the paddock, a camera shoved up each one of their faces. most of them were making videos for their teams social media, while others were giving interviews. silly banter & playful hazing surrounded the place as the free practices neared. as calm and laid back as the environment was, a new buzz had taken over the virtual world. it seemed like the redbull fans had taken on a new intrest in a the friendship you and max shared, suspecting it could be more than just friends. you’re shocked as you read through the articles, what could possibly make it seem like you were both in any sense more than just friends? max was like the brother you never had, and you, the sister he had always hoped of having. as much as the articles were delusional, you didnt really care that much about them, i mean why would you be afraid when there’s nothing youre scared of being open to the public? okay, maybe not everything. not the time when you were so drunk you demanded every guy on the paddock to quote “settle it with me on the ring”, not the time when you were the culprit behind the hilarious azerbaijan mix up where you stole the champagne on the podium and replaced it with an empty one, and definitely not the fact that you’re already taken, by a person known to all on the paddock.
The morning of the race was always an exhilarating one no matter which team youre driving for, or which team you’re rooting for. the passion, the dedication and the confidence in the each and every drivers persona was enough to fill you in the same mindset. though youve always been a redbull fan, which, i mean is definitely not even surprising considering you probably frequent their garage more than some of their own engineers, youve always held an admiration for all the drivers. even you knew how dominant the redbull cars were, so seeing the rest of the drivers still catch up with less resources filled your heart with pride. you look up at the fan’s waiting impatiently for the race to start with a smile on your face. this, will never get boring, you think.
Lord Percival 👑
can’t find you anywhere near here, don’t tell me you’re ditching me today yet again 😔
a chuckle escapes your lips.
You
i wouldve come over but you’re all the way across rn 😭 i’ll definitely be waiting for you after the race tho.
Lord Percival 👑
wow. way to betray me over text babe
You
okay drama queen 😒
Lord Percival 👑
guess you rubbed off on me then mon jolie
You
ill make it up to you, i always do.
just before you press send, you notice the drivers had already left for their respective interviews. whats the point in sending it now anyways, you decide.
the dark looms over the sky as celebrations near. the smell of alcohol, weed and god knows fucking what become all too familiar to you at this point. you reach the party alongside max, which considering he’s your best friend was not out of the ordinary for you, but little did you know, it didn’t help the ongoing rumours one bit. the familiar stench of reporters clogs your mind. what the hell were the doing here? and more importantly why were all of them suddenly taking an intrest in your friendship with max? question after question is thrown at you which makes you realise youve had enough of this. you reach for your phone.
You
screw this party
wanna meet up at our usual spot?
Lord Percival 👑
im always down 🙏
you could never get sick of this. the same ride, the same atmosphere, the exact same playlist playing over and over again, the curves of the road as you drive through. because you know, at the end of this journey would be the same thing you look forward to, every time. so you get into you car, and drive the same drive to the same spot, once again. at a pillar reading out “623” you stop by the ferrari you know all too well.
there he was. i could never get used to seeing him like this, you think, dressed up in formals but looking formal in no way whatsoever. shriveled hair, buttons unbuttoned, jewellery he knows how to style in just the right way. his crazed eyes of emerald, gazing into you with an intensity that makes your nerves shiver.
“took you long enough to come here” he says, holding you waist. “it was a longer drive than usual” “is that so?” he says, stepping aside you to rest against his ferrari, right beside you. folding his arms, he continues, pulling a cigarette out of his blazer, “want one?” “please, today was a bitch” “i could say the same for me, really” he reaches towards you, lighting your cigarette. “races in monaco are my favourite” he says, looking up at the sky. “yeah, id imagine so. nothing beats home” “yeah, it’s great to be home and all, but theres also something in monaco that beats the thrill any race could give me” he steps forwards, hands placed beside either sides of you.
he pulls the cigarette from your lips, taking in a puff himself. he brings his lips to your ear, “or rather, theres someone in monaco, who beats the thrill any race could give me” he whispers, blowing the smoke away. he flicks the cigarette aside and steps on it, as he lifts your face up, meeting your eyes with his own. “someone who sighs right when i kiss her here,” he goes on to place a chaste kiss on your mole, right on your neck by your jawline. and like a story repeated enough times, you sigh. “someone who arches her back when i pull her hair slightly like this,” he gently tugs your hair, making a makeshift ponytail and like a telltale, you arch your back, the satisfaction of being right sprawled across charles’s face.
“but of all, the one thing that makes me come back to this place again and again, is knowing that—“ he lifts your hips up, making you wrap your legs around him. “you’re mine.” the second he says that, its like all the dots connected in your head. you never thought charles would be jealous of the rumours, given how he was the one who didn’t want your relationship to be public. “charles, are you jealous?” you ask. “so what if i am?” “well, i for one wouldnt want my boyfriend to be feeling like that anymore” “what do you mean?” you pull out your phone from your clutch, “kiss me” “wait what are you doing?” “i said, kiss me” you say, pulling him in by his jaw. “im conf-“ you kiss him, shutting him up. as he closes his eyes he finds himself to not be able to help himself from drowning into you, well atleast until a flash brings him out of his trance. “im going to post it.” “you don’t have to, you know” “but i want to. i want everyone to know how much you mean to me charles. you’re my favourite person and i would hate to see you be jealous”
——
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“i can’t believe you actually did it, jolie” “its the least i could do” you say, pecking his cheek. “but ive gotta say, i definitely wouldnt mind seeing this shade of you more often” “you haven’t seen the end of me yet, mon ange”
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coquettebiatch · 1 year ago
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Hiii love
So, like, can you write where the reader is pregnant with a toxic!rafe child, and she runs away scared for her unborn child, and rafe finds them a few months after they baby is born. If you're not comfortable, I completely understand love
(basically Reader was a kook but then ran away from Rafe, becoming a pouge. Kiara only knows she’s there bc they went to school together.)
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You sit in the small living room thinking to yourself. Were you wrong for running away? I mean you were young..
You then hear baby cries from the nursery. You rush to the room and pick up the crying baby. You sit in the rocking chair next to it and start humming lullabies. As the baby fell into slumber you hear a knock at the door. You remembered that you had called Kiara to babysit for a while , while you go grocery shopping. You set the baby down into the crib and quickly got dress. You button your blue striped white blouse and grab your bag.
You open the door, to see your best friend. “Hey girl.” She said hugging you. You returned the hug. “Well she’s asleep and y’know the rest.” I smiled at her. She steps in the house as you exited. “Hey!” She shouts you look back at the door frame to see a baseball hat being thrown at you. “Be careful!” She says. “ I will.” I smiled at her once again. You get into your old red Cadillac and start driving.
You park your car on the side of your door. You see a familiar car but you shrug it off. As you walk into the market you see missing papers stabled onto the walls. You open the door and grab a basket and start looking in the food isles.
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You get to baby food isle and look through the food choices. You then hear foot steps behind you. “Y/n?” I hear a voice. I look at the person.
topper…
You swallow hard. You step back “y-you’re alive?” “Man, your parents have been worried and Rafe..”you quickly run out to check out. You were lucky that the cashier was fast. You pay while feeling a shorten of breath and felt tear swell up in your eyes.
You throw the grocery in the back of the seat and start driving. The familiar car starts to follow you. Topper..
Making a sharp turn you lose him. You quickly get back onto the road back to home. Carrying the groceries into the kitchen you felt a liquid fill up in your mouth. Running to the bathroom and locking the door, throwing up. Kiara was worried trying to unlock the door. “I’m fine!” You yelled out. “You sure?!” No response. A few bangs on the door made you reply. “Well I have to get going, my parents are going to be mad at my ass if I’m not home.” “Okay..” you replied. Hearing the door close, you brush your teeth and exited the bathroom to check your baby. You see she’s fine and start unpacking the food.
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Later on, night came in and was peaceful. You fed daisy and played and bit , after a while it was her bedtime. You laid her to sleep and started to clean. Sitting down with a cup of tea and relaxing. You hear a knock on the door. You stood up and had seen sprinkles of rain. Opening the door you see a tall figure. Wearing a blue flannel and combat boots, but had a buzz cut. “Y/n!” He said hugging me tightly pushing me further into the house.
“Where have you been.” He said kissing my forehead. I hold onto his wrists. “Rafe..” I whispered to myself. I knock out of it and push him away. “No… no..” a tear fell down my cheek. “Honey, I’ve gotten better, please come back.” He has his hands up in defense. I sit down on the couch. “I’m sorry!” I cried into my knees. “You shouldn’t be sorry, I mean there has to be some kind of reason why you left.” He say sitting on the couch.
“I-i was pregnant…” I sobbed. His face turns white. “You were pregnant with my child?” “Yes, and I’m sorry! I just didn’t want to ruin your life! I mean you have drugs and went out to parties!” I sniffled. “It’s not your fault.. I should be the one apologizing, I should’ve been when you needed me than hanging out with other people.” He expressed. I look up at him with red puffy eyes.
“how did you find me?” You asked. “Topper told me what happened at the market and followed you.” He chuckles.
You wanted a father for your child, and you wanted the actual father. But I wouldn’t have hurt to start seeing someone else. But there a change in his heart. The way he loved you. He knew that the past tense him was not responsible.
So you gave him a chance.
“Can I see them?” He asks lifting my chin up. “Her.” I say. I grab his hand and walked to the nursery. To see a beautiful babygirl. “What’s her name?” “Daisy.”
“you’re favorite flowers.” He smiled.
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Hope that was what you were thinking! Please y’all send in more requests don’t be shy!
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gigi-loveless · 1 year ago
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first date headcanons for hazel callahan 🤭🤭
listen to hazels spotify here and her taylor swift jam session here ✩ˎˊ˗
reqs are open!!
your wish is my command bestie! hope you enjoy ᡣ𐭩
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𐙚 would definitely be too nervous to ask you face to face and would slip one of those cheesy “will you go on a date with me? check yes or no” notes in your locker
𐙚 you can absolutely tell when she arrives to pick you up from the growing sound of fall out boy barreling down your road
𐙚 because let’s face it, this poor girl cannot drive to save her life
𐙚 especially when a pretty girl is in the passenger seat
𐙚 one hand on your thigh and one on the wheel
𐙚 she would absolutely go out and get everything to make and decorate a cake together, with a whole stack of movies to boot
𐙚 changes clothes 87 damn times to get the right “comfy but cute” look
𐙚 but just ends up in her normal tank top and pajama shorts
𐙚 does the lesbian lean™ on the wall in the kitchen
𐙚 purposefully picks scary movies because she thinks that you would get scared and cuddle right up to her
𐙚 but she accidentally picked your favorite horror flicks of all time, so she’s the one curling up to you
𐙚 touching hands when reaching for more popcorn
𐙚 flour fight while baking the cake that ends with her grabbing your hips and finally kissing you
𐙚 decorating the cake in lesbian colored flowers bc duh
𐙚 standing behind her, her back pressed up against you as you show her how to pipe the flowers
𐙚 going through a bottle of wine she stole from her moms cabinet and doing the 36 questions together
𐙚 looking up into her thoughtful eyes as she answers these deeply personal questions to you with ease
𐙚 but oh no! you drank, so you have to sleep over! what is a gay girl to do?!
𐙚 i guess you’ll just have to cuddle up close to your new girlfriend, wearing her boxers and t shirt
𐙚 her bed smells like her, ivy and musk
𐙚 she must listen to video essays to sleep for her overactive brain
𐙚 mostly about pokémon or other nostalgic properties like animal crossing or the sims
𐙚 “hazel?”
𐙚 “yeah, what’s up?”
𐙚 “we should do this more often.”
𐙚 “i can arrange that.” she chuckles, bringing you closer into her chest.
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princessbrunette · 1 year ago
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stepbro rafe teaching reader how to hold and shoot and be safe around a gun since theyre always around the house and he doesnt want her being unsafe!! like he has the glock out and going over the safety and reader is just totally dazed and looking at his hands while he does and he has to refocus her attention
this request is driving me crazy omg .
whenever ward is gone / presumed dead / actually dead or whatever he’s doing rafe gets crazily obsessed w being the ‘man of the house’ n ‘handling business’ and u can’t even fault him on that bc it’s so sexy hehe 🫶🏼
he’d approach you in his lil clean pressed shirt n slacks and sit you down like “theres some things i gotta teach you, alright? when you come from a… powerful family, there’s gonna be people that wanna take that from you. now, y’don’t have to get all scared alright, im protecting you—‘kay? but i want you to know…" he presses an unloaded pistol on your palm, letting you feel the weight of it. “…how to protect yourself if it ever comes down to it.”
so he drives you out to the forest where he’s set up targets, parks up his car and opens your door for you. the whole journey you were kinda jittery n scared bc you didn’t wanna shoot a gun, its too scary :(
“rafe, i don’t know. this is scary.”
“got nothing to be scared of, kid. im gonna help you out. s’my duty now, okay? im in charge now. i gotta look after you all.”
so u trust him ofc and he comes behind you and positions your arms and wraps his around yours, kicks your legs a little wider and suddenly ur a lil lightheaded n dazed because <33 ur step bro is just so strong n smart <33 can’t help pushing ur ass into his crotch just a little everytime he tells you ur doing a good job.
when he catches onto u being distracted n horny he just tsks, asks if you’re listening and tells u it’s important, but u get more and more bold, pushing ur ass into him more n getting all whiny n he just says fuck it and quickly dissembles the gun (which is really hot lol) and tucks it in his waistband before dragging you to the car so he can fuck u doggy style in the back seat :((
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magnificentstrawberryomen · 7 months ago
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haunted hause (nicholas ruffilo one shot)
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bc its almost halloween and ruffilo popped up in my mind and dear lord.
.......
giggles and sounds of amused laughter echoes against the empty walls of the giant house me and nicholas have found last week. as soon as we saw it when we went on an evening walk, we both knew we had to take a look inside. it's huge, practically an old left mansion, covered in green and cracks—basically the perfect house for some snooping around in the dark of the cold night.
'i'm so glad we found this,' i giggle to nicholas, as we begin to run through the hallways of the house, the wallpapers of it worn and full of dust and spider webs stuck between it and on old thick glue.
he smiles broadly behind me, his dark eyes holding a spark of joy in them, and i love to see him this way—fun and loose, the amusement also clear in the way he looks at me. some mischief as well, and i just know he is plotting something in his mind, probably something to scare me or something.
'oh, i know you,' i say as i start pointing at him, and i slowly start to walk backwards after i turn around, slightly out of breath from the running. 'you're plotting something, aren't you? some cliché scaring or some shit.'
nick chuckles amusingly at me, the same glint in his eyes as he keeps on walking towards me, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and the corner of his mouth curled up. a wash of curiosity but also something else starts to flow through me and i slightly swallow, as i keep on walking backwards. then, without notice, i bump with my back against a wall, making me let out a surprised sound.
'shit,' i mumble, a sheepish smile on my face, as nick then stops with slowly pacing towards me, just a few steps away from me. he just looks at me with that same look for a moment, but something else is in his eyes now too as they take me in, and the suspense is suddenly killing me. he can be quiet often, but this silence is driving me nervous and anticipated.
'why are you looking at me like that?' i then say with a short chuckle, trying to sound calm, but his stare is already burning right through me, heating me up in all kinds of places. the right places.
'was just taking you in for a moment,' he casually says, still standing there with his hands in his pockets, the curl of his lip going even more up. then, he begins to slowly close the space between us, as he places his hands on my hips.
'y'know,' he starts, his face close to mine, his breath fanning against my neck, making me swallow nervously once again. 'we haven't had much private time for a while.'
that makes me slowly crack a smile as well. 'and here we are, in some dark, scary ass, probably haunted house.'
nick's smile turns broader as soon as i say that. 'exactly.'
'how romantic,' i tease, and he lets out a soft snort. his thumbs then begin to rub my hips, and my heartbeats starts to quicken even more.
'are you complaining though?' he says with his soft voice, a hint of teasing in it as well, and i slightly chuckle, shaking my head, and i wrap my arms around his neck, playing with his soft long locks.
'no, i'm not. how perfect for halloween, right?' i smirk, and he gniffles, his face coming closer, his forehead resting against mine, feeling the soft fabric of his black hoodie against it.
'mhm, really perfect,' he agrees, as his head then moves to the side so his lips can press against my ear, 'even more because i can hear your pretty sounds echoing all around me in here. only for me.'
heat spreads to my cheeks almost immediately when he says that, and fuel runs through every inch of my body now, getting lit up as soon as he presses his lips against mine. the fire burns roughly between us as i eagerly return his kiss, grabbing his hair more firmly now, making him softly whine.
'i can't believe i let you fuck me in a haunted house—what will the ghosts around us think?' i jokingly say, panting a bit as our lips part for a moment, and he deeply chuckles against it as he smiles, making pretty wrinkles form around his eyes.
'i guess they can watch then, darling. no way i'm letting this chance go of finally having you alone with me,' nick responds, then grabbing my thighs so i can jump into his arms, and he presses me firmly against the wall. i wrap my legs around his waist and my hands find his hair again as he pulls me in another hungry kiss, pulling his lip between my teeth at some point, making him groan.
'y/n, i promise you this will be anything but a nightmare,' nick then confidently grins at me, his eyes glinting with dark mischief, 'in fact, it will be something you want to be dreaming about for a long, long time.'
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lilacliquors · 7 months ago
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kinktober day nineteen: spanking
pairing: alejandro vargas x reader
word count: 672
notes: happy day nineteen! been looking forward to writing for him bc LOOK AT THIS MAN. alejandro / alain are so fucking handsome how has alejandro not been in more promo content?????
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it was just supposed to be an easy recon assignment. go in undercover, get the intel on el sin nombre’s current whereabouts, and get out before causing any suspicions. however, things would have gone a lot smoother if you and alejandro hadn’t been fighting the day before.
valeria had been missing for weeks now, and he was driving himself insane trying to locate her. it was driving a wedge between you two, and knowing their history only made it worse. it kept him up at night, and away from you during the day. and while you knew that finding her and bringing her to justice was crucial to the safety of las almas, you couldn’t help but feel that annoying little twinge of jealousy when you thought about it.
and it was the jealousy that got you into a sticky situation.
you were undercover at another one of el sin nombre’s events. it was bold of her to host one while on the run, but you knew she needed all of the assistance she could get. as usual, guests were required th cover their faces to avoid being outed, but you could identify a few still. but you were playing with fire the moment you locked eyes with a handsome stranger. it didn’t take you long to make your way over to him to start flirting, first under the guide of collecting information, but it soon turned into getting alejandro riled up. 
alejandro’s eyes never left you. even when you were across the room, and he was chatting up a stranger, he still kept an eye on you. but when he saw you, twirling your hand and laying your hand on another man’s chest, he finally understood how you felt. 
and he didn’t like it.
he made his way over to you, his eyes flashing dangerously. his stride alone scared the other man away, and you turned to look at him through the slits in your mask. before you could say anything, he grabbed your hand and pulled you away, walking through the mansion and dragging you to an empty room. he shut the door and locked it behind you, and you both ripped off your masks.
“what do you think you’re doing?” he hissed.
“talking to someone, what did it look like?” you asked, and he scoffed.
“that wasn’t talking. that,” he practically growled, pulling you close to him, “was you being a brat.”
he sat himself down and pulled you close again, and you were suddenly over his knee, your eyes wide and your heart pounding.
“you know what happens to brats, hm? brats get spanked.”
you felt him pull the skirt of your dress up your legs, and you gasped as his hand rubbed over your skin. then, it left, and it came back down, landing on your skin with a sharp slap. you hissed, and he rubbed the stinging skin. the rest of them happened in rapid succession, one after the other. you clutched his leg, whimpering as each one hit your sensitive skin. when he was finished, your cheek rested on his leg, and you felt him massaging the reddening skin of your ass, his touch gentle.
“i’m sorry,” he murmured as he did so. “about everything. i never should have put the hunt for valeria over you.”
“i … i understand why you did it. her being at large is a risk, but … yes, i was jealous. and i should have spoken up,” you said softly, and you felt his hand stroke your hair.
“i never should have put you in a position to feel jealous. and i’m sorry. forgive me?”
“of course i forgive you. but only if you promise to hold some ice up to help the sting,” you said, and he grinned.
“don’t i always? let’s get you home, this was a sham anyways.”
“it was? damn. well, at least we got to dress up for a night.”
“i’ll take you out on a real date soon, i promise. you deserve it.”
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jreads · 2 years ago
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Not sure if this is where we submit requests, but i’d kill for a fic where reader’s having debilitating anxiety attack in Jackson (like where your vision blacks at the edges and you can’t breathe) and suddenly a strong force is keeping you up and you look up and it’s Joel; and he’s concerned bc he relates (but you don’t know each other) and you take a fistful of his shirt and suddenly they feel the symptoms retreating - and that’s how you meet, and you’ve found comfort in each other since. :’)
Sorry if that made no sense it’s word vomit LOL
Also sidebar: unexpected constellations will stay w me forever thank you:’)
Of Memories and Mealtimes (Joel Miller x F!Reader)
Word count: 2.5K
Warnings: Mentions of blood, Mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, Mentions of death, Foul language
A/N: this prompt was so cute, I hope I did it justice!
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It’s been getting colder recently. No snow, not yet, but the breeze has a certain nip to it, blowing burnt orange leaves to rest on the ground like a natural carpet. The days are grey, and the nights are long, and that creeping feeling has been looming ever closer recently. You’ve found solace in the comfort of the kitchen. The air here is warm and humid and smells of frying garlic and onion. You perform repetitive, menial tasks and it staves off—to some extent—the ever-present penetrating feeling of loneliness. 
Since arriving in Jackson, you’ve struggled to find a place, a sense of belonging. You’re coming to the conclusion that maybe you never will. You thought you had one… but that was a while ago. 
It’s selfish to think you’re the only one in this town with a painful past; it’s clear that everyone is trying just as hard to find reasons to get through each day. You’re not alone. But you do feel like it. Often.
Maria has taken pity on you, stationing you in the kitchens because she knows you like it there. Knows you like to watch the people sitting at tables and soak up sounds of laughter in an attempt to steal a moment of second-hand happiness.
It’s late now, pitch black outside, and your shift is almost over. You’re cutting fruits and veggies for omelettes in the morning: spinach, olives, tomatoes. There are maybe five people still sitting, a table of three, one woman at a booth, and a man sitting alone at the bar. Sometimes, you like to eavesdrop.
The trio are talking about their old lives. They seem to have found something in common, street racing. Moding their cars, evading the cops… back when you could just drive into a gas station for petrol.  One used to have an old Charger, stolen in the looting. He reminisces over how the purr of the engine felt, how the lights of the highway would turn to a blur as he accelerated. From the corner of your eye, you see the man from the bar get up to leave, dropping some coin on the counter. You used to like to drive fast too. When it was for leisure and not for survival.
“I’m scared.”
The familiar voice sears through you like a branding iron, bringing with it flashing images of memory. Fuck. No, no, no. Not now. 
The freeway is peppered with stationary cars, and you’re swerving, as fast as humanly possible, trying desperately to navigate the mess. The Jeep behind you is gaining, and the little boy in your passenger seat is rigid in fear. If you can just make it through the overpass, it clears out after that. Their car is good offroad, but yours is faster. You upshift.
There’s gunfire, and your rear window shatters. He screams. You use your right hand to push his head down. He needs to stay low. You’re almost there.
Another gunshot. You try to ignore the popping of the rear tire; try not to think about what it means. The vehicle swerves and you fight against it by correcting the wheel. It’s no use. You clip the side of an abandoned car, and your own flips. You’re thrown through the windscreen. It’s the last thing you remember before your vision goes dark.
There’s pain. But not from the onslaught of old memories. You’ve slipped with the knife in your distraction, cutting a deep line into the side of your thumb. It’s dripping down, coating your fingers in a slick red. Your heart is pounding out of your chest, lungs constricting so hard you can barely get a breath in.
“Could I take five?” you manage to gasp to the other lady. But you don’t even wait for her reply before dropping the knife with a clatter and banging gracelessly through the back service doors. Your vision is blurring, darkening at the edges and your head is spinning. It feels as if you might die. You’re going to die.
Your hand is now coated in blood and—with little thought—you try to brush it off with your right, only succeeding in spreading the scarlet until it’s all you can see.
You wake in a ravine. How long have you been out? There’s pain in your cheek and you reach up to pluck a piece of glass from it. The crash. The kid. Oh, no. Oh, god. You call his name, voice hoarse. No reply. Your legs are too weak to support the weight of your own body, so you scramble up from the ditch, back onto the freeway. The car lies a few meters away on its side. Scraped and destoyed. And beyond it, a small body. No.
You crawl to him, sobbing at the bones bent in unnatural angles. And the bullet wound through his chest. You scream. You wail. His lifeless form is so small in your arms, leaking blood over your palms. You were supposed to protect him. You were supposed to—
His body is going cold. Limp and lifeless. But you can’t let go. Maybe, if you just hold on tight enough, the force of your love can breathe life back into his lungs.
You’re covered in his bood, figuratively, literally, it’s everywhere. Stumbling as if you’re drunk, you cry so hard that the tears only blur your vision further. It’s been a while since you’ve had one this bad. If you could just get back to your house. God, why did it have to happen in public? You can’t see where you’re going, so it’s no surprise when you run into something.
No, someone. There are hands on your shoulders and a comforting voice, gravelly Texan accent. What is he saying? You can’t tell. You’re going to be sick.
Something blocks out the lights of the streetlamp. There’s a body beside you.
A fragile body, broken and empty. Leaking life onto cracked pavement.
No, but this body is warm. Strong and gentle. A calloused palm cradling your head into a broad chest, a steady heartbeat. Alive. This body is alive. You clutch onto the fabric of his shirt with desperate hands, forgetting for a moment that your own blood will stain the fabric. He’s speaking words, low whispers, but the sound of them vibrates through him and into you. He’s telling you to calm down.
But you can’t. How do you tell him you can’t? You’re choking on air, hiccupping in a way that hurts.
“Come on now, breathe with me.” He smells nice, like cedar and whiskey. You can feel him smoothing circles onto your back, the rise and fall of his chest as he inhales and exhales. You try to copy him, lungs spasming with the effort. “That’s it. Keep going.” You’re heaving loud, ugly, uneven breaths, but it’s all you can manage. Past and present are flashing before you, your own blood, someone else’s, unseeing eyes and dead silence, a thumping pulse and soothing voice. It’s getting easier; you’re synchronizing your breaths to his own. But as you lean into the comedown, that exhaustion starts to creep up behind you. You melt into him in relief, but he doesn’t shy away. “There you go. I got you.”
Pieces of your surroundings start to fade back into view. You’re under the awning by the barn, shrouded in shadow. He’s practically holding you up by himself, and you feel a sudden deep stab of embarrassment. You can’t look this stranger in the eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble into his shirt.
He doesn’t loosen his hold. “You got nothing to apologize for.”
“Probably got… blood on your shirt.” It’s taking effort to even form the words.
He laughs lightly and the sound is like warm caramel. “I’ve dealt with worse.”
The nausea is ebbing, but you find you don’t want to leave. Caught in his arms, you feel the safest you’ve felt in a long while.
“You should probably get that finger bandaged.” He steps away, pulling your arm into the light to examine the cut and you almost sob once more at the loss of contact. “I got supplies back at my place, if that’s alright by you?”
“Okay,” you say because you feel too weak to walk back to your own house alone right now. And also because in the glow of the streetlamp, you can see the rugged handsomeness of his face, etched with sweet worry, dark curls interspersed with shots of grey. You’ve seen him before. The man at the bar, so often alone. 
You’re shaking now, visceral, wracking shudders. He sheds his coat and swings it over your shoulders before leading you down the laneway.
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His house is not far, a five-minute walk at most. He ushers you up the front porch, opening the door to a dim-lit living area.
“Joel?” A shrill voice calls down from above. 
Joel Miller? This is Joel Miller?
“Yeah Ellie, it’s me.”
A little girl comes bounding down the stairs, dark hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She stops dead when she sees you, noting the jacket around your shoulders, the blood on your hand.
“What happened?” she says, with a kind of fascinated wonder that comes naturally to kids. Oh god, she reminds you of—
“Kitchen accident.” Joel replies smoothly. “You mind getting the med kit, kiddo?”
Her big eyes blink once, twice. “Oh, yeah.” Then she’s running right back up the staircase.
Joel sits you on the couch, grasping your wrist with a tender motion so at odds with all the things you’ve heard about him. Then again, you never knew he had a kid.
“Is she yours?”
He doesn’t look up from your palm. “In the ways that count.”
The girl, Ellie, is back down in record time with a worn first aid kit that she extends to Joel. When he takes it, she looks again at you with blatant curiosity. You feel guilty for barging into the warmth of their home like this.
“Ellie, why don’t you go boil some water for coffee.”
“Can I have hot chocolate?” she asks, and the hopeful joy in her voice is enough to finally make you smile.
Joel does too. “Sure.” And she’s off once more, rounding the corner to where you assume the kitchen lies. “But don’t go putting extra sugar in it,” he calls after her. The soft domesticity makes you ache with loss.
“Well, good news is you won’t be needing stiches.” He pulls an array of supplies from the box: disinfectant, gauze, a bandage. “But you should tell Maria to take you off kitchen schedule for a couple days.”
“How’d you know I was on kitchen schedule?” 
“Lucky guess,” he replies easily, but you swear there’s pink travelling across his cheeks. 
The disinfectant stings and you hiss. He falls into silent work, and you find yourself watching him, trying to understand how the man in front of you is the very same that garnered such a ruthless and cold reputation. 
He breaks the silence first. “I don’t mean to pry but…” Joel fastens the bandage securely around your finger. “…if you want to talk about what happened…”
You don’t. Not now, maybe not ever.
When you don’t reply, he nods his head. “I get it.” You watch him cast a glance toward the sound of a boiling kettle, to where Ellie is. “Trust me, I do.” 
You sit with him and Ellie—quiet with a warm cup of coffee—until late into the night. Ellie makes a face at the smell of it and quips back and forth with Joel about how he can ‘drink that piss.’ The girl has a mouth on her. She’s clever, sharp-witted, and the banter between her and him seems to dig a needle and thread into your gaping heart and sew one single stitch into it.
Past midnight, despite your repeated refusal, Joel insists he walk you home. Seeing your own house, cold and devoid of light makes your shoulders slump and heart race anew. Joel seems to note the behaviour.
“You’re always welcome at ours.” You know you’ll never take him up on the invitation. From the sadness in his eyes, you think he knows it too.
There are miles between you. “Thank you.” He only nods. You leave him standing on the lawn.
From behind the safety of the porch window, you can see that he waits for the light to turn on in your living room before walking back down the street.
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Maria has insisted you take a few days off. Damn it. Joel must have said something. You try to busy yourself in the garden instead, but the gloves fit awkwardly over your bandage. You don’t last long anyway. The sound of school children heading home hits your ears around 3:00PM, and within minutes, a small shadow blocks where the sun hits your face.
“What’re you doing?”
Just seeing her face is enough to put a small smile on your own. “I’m planting basil.”
“What’s basil?”
You laugh. Actually laugh. “You want to try some?” You offer her a leaf and she chews it thoughtfully. Gives it an approving face. A thumbs up.
“You should bring some for Joel.” The forwardness of her suggestion is almost shocking, but she seems like the type of kid who says whatever comes to mind. You like that about her. “His cooking is pretty bland.”
Two laughs in one day. This kid is like medicine. “You think so?”
“Mhm. You could come over now. I think he’s on patrol, but he’ll be back soon.”
You think about turning her down, just on reflex. But you like how it feels to laugh, just the way you liked how you had felt in Joel’s arms the other night. So you agree. Her smile is brilliant. 
Minutes later, when she loops her arm through your own, she says, “Hey but don’t tell Joel what I said about his cooking, okay?”
You promise.
Around 7:00PM, he comes through the door, a weary sigh giving him away. “Ellie,” he calls.
“In here!” She’s excited. You’ve prepared a meal: pasta, sundried tomatoes, and the basil plucked from the garden. She’s been picking at the penne with her fingers, unable to wait until he arrives.
Seeing the surprised look on his face when he rounds the corner makes you feel suddenly shy. “I wanted to do something to thank you for last night and, well… Ellie found me in the—”
“Joel, it’s so fucking good.” At this point the muscles in your face are starting to hurt from smiling. 
Over dinner, you actually start to engage in the conversation, and somehow you seem to get along like you’ve known each other for years. In tandem, they work to bring you out of your shell. Your voice is hoarse and face warm by the time you go to leave, but Joel stops you at the door.
“Let me walk you back again.” Your selfish streak is only getting worse. You say yes. You think you see Ellie’s face in the top window as the two of you leave, a devious grin on her face.
Conversation flows on the way, about food, wine, Ellie. It’s comfortable, familiar, but there’s something… 
A yearning, buried under layers of friendly formality. He walks you up your porch and you think, for just a moment, about inviting him inside.
But you’re not quite ready for that just yet. So, you rise up to kiss him on the cheek instead, relishing the stunned look on his face.
Shy again, you back away across the threshold. “Good night, Joel.”
He says it back, and the way your name rolls of his tongue ignites something long dormant within you. You think he might be looking at your lips.
When the door closes, you let out a shuddering breath. And for what seems like the thousandth time that night, you smile.
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