#it was so crazy LOL tho i do remember it being so good

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[fgefrgbghv]

Astrology notes 1: Family & genetics & my placements

Capricorn Moons - very unstable, irresponsible and childish and overall can have a terrible, irresponsible and childish mother, often absent father, often are the oldest kids who raised themselves, their other siblings and partly also their parents.

Experiences: my best friend is an oldest child cap moon who raised basically themselves, her mother is almost as shit as mine,, which is A LOT,, also her father tends to be on long work trips a lot. like,, majority of her life and ive never actually seen him except her jokin glike two times about him being autistic -

Scorpio Sun - Often Black sheep of their family - raw, wild, different from their family and often put aside in a different box cuz of it.

Experiences: my scorp sun dad - he is literally an adhd energetic worcaholic goofball in a house full of conversative "mental differences & ilnesses aren't real" (I mean, he is this too tho-) lazy people. or at least,,, he grew up to be. I hope we're not like this lol.

Also this thing about scorp placements being neurodivergent -

Experiences: my moon and my dad's sun, both having adhd and possible autism

Scorpio Moon - The worst moon sign to have objectively. A terrible, over-controlling, border narcissistic mom. Were literally taught to be feared by her and her obsessions. Have it the worst. Also they get so much trust issues from their parents and overbearing, too-involved and wanting to be controlling everything in their lives, mother, so they aren't very good with relationships, and often feel

Ecperiences: Me. I have it, also a very terrible and fanatic and often crazy, mad and frantic - not in a good way - described by people who she has around and me, who knows this aspect of her way too much,

On the contrary, Taurus Moons - Objectively the best moon placement to have. Imagine taurian qualities and that in a mother -- boom, now you have won.

Exps: - My brother is this, and remember that frantic mom we have? Well, if you saw her around him, you'd almost believe she is actually normal. They have a great relationship. I mean, she IS kinda awful, but like, doesn't make his life hell,, in contrary to mine.

People often tell people with Lilith in 10th their worst horrible horrible secrets and their dark side. And like when they tell it about them to anyone else they're always like "noooo, them??? They'd NEVER do that." and just people

I have Pluto in 11th - which makes me always on the edge of social groups, people not trusting me easily and always having a thin line between friends and enemies, mixed with my moon sign never knowing who to trust because I KNOW people are gonna turn their back on me a lot. Happened a lot always and will happen, anyways. Also, combined with my Lilith in 10th, women don't like me in general, so, personally, as a man-repulsed person... Yayyy. I have a loooot of people to talk to and to choose from, lmao.

Peace out, guys.

NOW TELL ME ASTROLOGY ISNT REAL

[scaredpigeons]

More than some stress relief

Blade x Stelle NSFW 18+ MDNI

CW: Stelle asks Blade to spar with her, and unfortunately that results in some unresolved sexual frustration, because c’mon, he’s still a whole ass man. Luckily, mama Kafka steps in to lend a helping hand. (Not her literal hand, she just buys the toy lol) phone sex, mutual masturbation? The fleshlight blade uses is connected to Stelle through the (magical) necklace that was part of the set. (Magical) creampie.

WARNING: Blade is very violent in his descriptions of how he threatens to bone Stelle. If you’re uncomfortable with him saying things along the lines of: —until the carnage is unrecognizable, —until you’re nothing but hot pulp running through my fingers (just to paraphrase loool) please do not read this. Blade is a very broken man, I was really trying to play off his more violent tendencies with this one. Stelle is so fuckin down bad tho (relatable)

If you are 18+, comfortable with some gory descriptors, and willing to read, please continue! Enjoy.

——————————

🐺👾: you want to…. Spar with blade? Are you a masochist or something? Should I be concerned? 

🦝🗑️: shut up 

🦝🗑️: I have this crazy lance and I don’t really want to hurt anyone by practicing with it 

🦝🗑️: I know he’s got that healing thing going on 

🐺👾: 👀 …. 

🐺👾: I’m telling him you called it that 

🦝🗑️: DONT U DARE 

🦝🗑️: JUST PLEASE ASK THE MAN IF HE CAN SPAR WITH ME WITHOUT KILLING ME 

🦝🗑️: AND DON'T TELL HIM IT'S ONLY BECAUSE HES WEIRDLY INDESTRUCTIBLE 

🦝🗑️: I don’t wanna like, offend him or anything. Obvi I don’t want him to get hurt, but like, the off chance I slip up with this thing… he isn’t gonna get murked. You know? 

🐺👾: okay okay I get it, I’ll ask 

🦝🗑️: 😩🩶🩶💯🔥

🐺👾: he agreed. Here’s the coordinates. Have fun, don’t die. 

————

“Thank you for agreeing to this, I really appreciate it!” 

The man in front of Stelle says nothing, only stares as the winds coming off the water pick up loose strands of his hair, making the inky strands flow behind him. 

“You… remember me, right?” Stelle tentatively asks. 

Still nothing. 

“It’s okay if you don’t, we don’t even have to go through with this, I just thought you would be the best person for what I’m—“ 

“I remember you, Trailblazer. My mind is not so far eroded that I’d forget you so easily.” 

His voice is dark, just as raspy as she remembers it. She has to clench her teeth to suppress a shudder. If March could hear her thoughts, she’d blush and squeal, smacking her arm in scandal. If Dan Heng could hear her thoughts… he’d institutionalize her immediately. 

This man is dangerous. Incredibly dangerous. Stelle had to lie about where she was going just so no one would try to talk her out of it. 

Danger always pulled at something inside her though, that nasty, deranged thing inside her that craved violence and adrenaline. She figured it was a side effect of hosting a stellaron inside her body, but man— did this guy make her wish she could have something else inside her body too.

 *Wink wink*

Aeons. She’s such a fucking simp. If it wouldn’t make her look bat shit insane, she’d smack herself right now just to get her shit together. 

“Oh…” she said instead. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

An awkward pause lingered between them, and she found herself thinking that maybe she was standing a bit too close to him, despite there being at least two feet between them. 

“Are you… doing well? The last time I saw you, Kafka was… helping you feel better.” She said hesitantly. 

It could’ve been her imagination, but she swore that the furrow of his brow softened ever so slightly. 

“We’re not here to discuss such trivial matters.” His voice was harsh nonetheless. 

“Right, right.” Stelle said, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly. “So, how do we do this?” 

Blade summoned his sword, dragging his fingertips across the edge before spreading the tainted blood across the flat of it, causing the cracked blade to glow and radiate with unnatural power. 

“It is not your time or place to die here, so luckily for you, I will show restraint.” 

—————

Stelle could tell Blade was holding back, true to his word. 

Any flames she created were either quelled by his winds, or overfanned by his elemental power to the point that they grew too dangerous for the environment around them, or even Stelle herself. 

She found that with her control over the lance, she could call forth and dissipate her fires at will, so the damage to herself was minimal. 

She worried that if the flames grew too large, she’d lose control over them— but every time, she willed them away and they would flicker out, leaving charred shrubbery and stone in their wake. 

Didn’t mean they weren’t hot as shit though.  

The first time she’d used the lance, the freezing temperatures of Jarilo XI dulled just how hot her new weapon could become. 

But now, well she couldn’t tell if her sweat was from the flames or just how hard her opponent was pushing her. 

He was toying with her, clashing together brutally before jumping away and circling her like a hawk. 

He was resistant to her taunts, though keeping up with him left little room for her to pause long enough to think of something to say. 

He seemed completely at ease though, the violence in his eyes and the murderous grin doing nothing to help the degenerate part of her brain that was screaming and crying and throwing up at the opportunity to observe him like this up close, without Dan Heng around to make her feel guilty for admiring this man so much. 

Her arms grew heavy, and she’d not even made him sweat, let alone injure him in any way. 

She knew that the lack of true danger was causing her to remain at a reasonable power level, flash backs to the Herta space station incident making her shudder. 

She was really no match for him in this kind of situation. 

He lunged for her again, and this time, she was too tired to react properly. She parried his strike, but missed the signs of his next move, getting her feet swiped out from beneath her as he tackled her to the ground. His sword stabbed into the dirt just beside her head as he landed on top of her, effectively straddling her as he pinned her with his intense gaze. 

Her eyes flitted back and forth between his as her breath heaved in her chest, her heart racing as she struggled to right herself after being disoriented so badly. 

Something in his expression shifted, and instead of murderous amusement, his gaze seemed… hungry. 

He leaned closer, ever so slowly, and continued staring at Stelle so intently it made her do something so embarrassing she knew she would never live it down. 

She whimpered. 

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he was gone. 

He pulled away from her and disappeared within the same breath, leaving her lying there in the dirt as she caught her breath. 

She ran her hands over her face. “Well fuck.” 

—————

🐺👾: what did you do to him? 

🦝🗑️: ??????? 

🐺👾: last week. When the two of you sparred, did something happen? 

🦝🗑️: ….

🦝🗑️: why 

🐺👾: ever since he got back he’s been fucking pouting. 

🐺👾: well, I mean pouting in the way that blade does. It’s more of a scowl than anything else, but I’ve known him long enough to differentiate between his various types of frowns. 

🦝🗑️: … nothing happened. We fought. I lost, obviously. But no one was hurt or anything. 🙃 everything’s totally normal 

🐺👾 added Kafka🕷️💕 to the chat

🐺👾: Kafka, what’s she hiding? 

Kafka🕷️💕: some sexual tension, most likely. 

🦝🗑️: …. -_- 

🦝🗑️: mother, why hast thou forsaken me????

 Kafka🕷️💕: nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetie. 

Kafka🕷️💕: Bladie may be a tragic creation of the abundance, but his body was once human. It wouldn’t be a far stretch to say that some of the more… human tendencies of a man may still linger within him. 

🐺👾: F

🦝🗑️: F 

🐺👾: so you’re saying he’s pouting and kicking shit because he’s sexually frustrated? That’s fuckin nasty. 

🐺👾: @🦝🗑️ you need to fix this. I don’t wanna look at him sulk anymore 

🦝🗑️: me?!!?!? Tf am I supposed to do??? How is this my fault??? 

🐺👾: you fought him and now he’s horny. Fix it. 

🦝🗑️: … bruh 

Kafka🕷️💕: I don’t think the traditional way of solving this problem will be the best idea, silver wolf. 🤭

🐺👾: wym? 🤨

Kafka🕷️💕: I don’t think it’s safe right now for our little trailblazer and Bladie to get together on a more intimate level… he’s still a bit unstable mentally. 

🦝🗑️: you let me fight this man while hES UNSTABLE 

🐺👾: heh. L 

Kafka🕷️💕: fighting is what he knows. It’s what comes natural to him these days. Emotions? Not so much. 

🦝🗑️: I mean… I’m always down to help anyone whenever I can

🐺👾: *tucks hair behind ear* “i’M aLwAys DoWn tO HeLP aNyONe WHeNeVEr I cAn”

🦝🗑️: BRO FIGHT ME 

🐺👾: no thanks, I have better ways to waste my time 

🦝🗑️: ENGAGE ME IN A BATTLE OF FISTICUFFS RN 

🦝🗑️: IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HELP BUT USUALLY I GET NICE REWARDS TOO 

🐺👾: heh… you want a nice reward for this one too? 

🦝🗑️: I STTA ILL COME FIND UR LITTLE HOLOGRAM AND SMACK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU 

🐺👾: wtf does stta stand for you heathen 

Kafka🕷️💕: ooh! She’s used this one with me before. It’s “swear to the aeons.” Cute, right? 

🐺👾: 🙄 

🐺👾 has left the chat

Kafka🕷️💕: I think I have an idea on how you can help, if you’re open to it. 

🦝🗑️: …

🦝🗑️: what do I need to do? 

———

“Stelle sweetie!” Himeko knocked on her cabin door. “You have a package here.”

Stelle nearly slipped as her sock feet slid along the smooth floor of her room in her haste to reach the door. 

She tumbled along gracelessly and threw open her door, huffing as she took the package from Himeko. 

A box, about five hands wide and three hands deep, wrapped in plain brown paper, with a little card tapped on and slathered with all the necessary postage. 

“Thank you!” Stelle said hastily, reaching for her door. 

“Wait—“ Himeko put a hand to the door shaft, stepping forward a bit with worry in her eyes. 

Stelle cringed a bit, looking up at Himeko and trying to hide the shame she felt creeping up the back of her neck. 

“Listen,” Himeko started, eyeing the little card on the package with Stelles name written in pretty, looping letters. “I know you and that stellaron hunter have some strange connection that we aren’t sure about, and I know you’re unsure too, but I just want you to be careful, okay?” 

It took a solid two panicked seconds for Stelle to realize that Himeko was speaking about Kafka, and not the other stellaron hunter she’d so guilty formed a connection with recently. 

When the realization dawned on her, she tucked her package to the side and pulled Himeko into a tender side hug, snuggling into her chest a bit as she usually did. 

“Thank you for worrying about me, Himeko.” Stelle said, pulling away. “It means a lot to me, and I promise I’m being careful. I won’t do anything to jeopardize the safety of anyone on the express.” 

Himeko sighed, smiling as she pulled back too. “I know, I just worry about you. We’re all here to support you through this, you know that.” 

Stelle grinned. “I do, thank you.” 

The red haired woman nodded, smiling still as she said her goodbyes and left Stelle to her own devices. 

She’d never closed and locked her door so quickly before. 

Throwing the package on her bed, she hastily sat beside it and pulled the card from the packaging. 

She took a moment to trace her fingers over the pretty script on the card, before she tore open the envelope and read its contents. 

Stelle, 

Inside this box you’ll find the fun toy I told you about, along with a new shipping label to send it off to Bladie. 

I’m off on my own right now, far away from him, and I figured he’d handle it a lot better if it came from you, and not me. hehe~ 

Also, you’ll find a beautiful little necklace I had added to the set, that’s for you to wear. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with it. 

Thinking fondly of you always, 

K 

Stelle blushed a little, Kafka was always saying the strangest things. She tucked the card away in her nightstand and gently pried open the package, not wanting to tear the postage stamps. 

Inside was indeed the… thing that she was told about, and she blushed furiously while looking at the nondescript white box, though the size and shape was very indicative of what was inside.

She pulled the new shipping label out, looking at the address inquisitively and realizing she had no idea where Blade even was, not recognizing the planet. 

She sat it aside and pulled out the other small box inside, opening it up and finding a rather beautiful blue choker necklace. The colour was reminiscent of her garter, and she smiled, happily pulling the gift from its box and wrapping it around her slender throat. 

It clicked nicely in the back, and fit perfectly. She smiled, patting it and thinking about how it was such a thoughtful gift, however strangely unrelated. Then again Kafka was a bit of an enigma regardless, so who knows what her thought process was when putting these two together. 

Stelle closed up the box, slapping the new shipping label over the old one and eyeing it as it sat in the middle of her bed. 

Fuck, I should probably write him a letter, some kind of explination so he doesn’t just throw it away without opening it. 

She scurried to her desk, pulling out a very cutesy animal themed stationary set that March had gifted her after their mission on Jarilo XI. 

The envelopes and cards were soft blue, covered in cute little bunnies and bears and what Stelle thinks are pink raccoons, surrounded with hearts and little stars. 

She laughed at the idea of Blade handling such delicate paper, and got to writing a quick note on her desk.

Hey, 

Don’t hate me, but SW was complaining about your… mood lately, and I thought this might help. I totally fuckin get it, trust me, I understand. Traveling with a group of people that’s more like family than anything else can really put a damper on your… personal time. So please take time for yourself, if not for me, then to at least make silver wolf stop complaining to me that you’re moody. 

I look forward to the day you’ll spar with me again. 

-Stelle 

It might’ve been doing a bit too much, but Stelle couldn’t help but feel like the note might help him to be more receptive to the gift. 

Being a bit delusional never stopped her before, so why should it now? 

She slid the card in the envelope and slapped it to the package, picking it up to go and have it delivered. Hopefully she could feel a bit more at peace once it was gone. 

—————

A quick and impatient knock sounded on his room door, pulling him from his deep meditation on the floor. 

“Hey asshole, you’ve got a package.” 

He and Silver Wolf were sent together to fulfill one of Elio’s scripts, and it was a brief period of lull in their respective duties. 

The inn they were staying at wasn’t lavish by any means, but they were discreet, and that’s really all they could hope for. 

Blade released a breath through his nose as he rose from the floor, walking over and opening up his room to find his fellow hunter standing impatiently, tapping her foot on the rough carpet of the hallway. 

Blade hated carpet in the hallways of inns. Always disgusting and ridiculously coloured. 

“Here.” Silver Wolf shoved the box in his hands, her grin was wide, spreading to her eyes which twinkled up at him with the mischief he tried so desperately to avoid. 

“Who could possibly know where we are right now.” He grumbled at her, though she was already turning to leave. 

“I have an inkling, and hopefully the stick falls out of your ass soon.” She laughed maniacally as she waltzed down the hall. “Enjoy!” 

Blade felt his brow scrunch up tight as he eyed the package. The blue envelope tapped into it was terrible to look at, the childish print making him want to throw it away immediately, but the unfamiliar lettering spelling his name across the paper made him pause. 

He brought the package to his bed, sitting down and thumbing open the envelope. 

The contents of the card made his stomach drop and then lurch into his throat. He was ready to run silver wolf through with his sword. 

Calm yourself. 

He took steady breaths, though he was angry, he was also rather curious about what exactly was in the box. 

With a carefulness he didn’t remember he had, he pried open the package to find a smaller white box without any words or indicators of what could be inside. 

He lifted the lid, only to drop it in shock at what lurked within. He knew what that was. He was older than most but he was still a man, and he knew exactly what had been sent to him— what was to help his “mood.” 

He sighed, pinching his temples. He didn’t know whether he wanted to thank silver wolf or strangle her. Either way, he’d be getting some kind of relief today. 

———————

Stelle was eating dinner when she felt the first phantom touch. 

Fingertips, as soft as a whisper, ghosting over her pubic mound and making her stomach dip. 

Her eyes darted around, but everyone else was still enjoying their meal, chatting quietly together with the melody of silverware accompanying their voices. 

She was sat beside Dan Heng tonight, but both of his hands were above the table. 

She leaned back to look at him below the waist, looking to see if he’d manifested his tail and was making a pass at her, or more likely, was absentmindedly flicking it about like he did whenever he took his secondary form. 

But no, he was tailless this evening, and now eyeing her a bit warily as her eyes darted around. 

“You okay?” He murmured, not wanting to bother the others. 

The touch ghosted along her outer labia now, making her drop her fork in shock. 

Everyone was looking at her now, and she felt something pulse around her throat, right where her new necklace rested. 

Her face heated, and she placed her utensils onto her half finished plate before scooting from behind the table. 

“I’m… not feeling the greatest. I think I’m gonna go to bed early, if you all don’t mind.” 

She stood quickly, standing there for a moment as the touches continued, soft and inquisitive. 

“Are you alright?” Welt asked, concerned. “Would you like me to bring you some tea, or medicine?” 

“No!” Stelle jumped, before she caught herself and smiled sheepishly. “I’m alright, just feeling a little off. Probably just need some good sleep. I’ll see you all in the morning?” 

They all nodded, watching her go with worried eyes, but letting her leave without more questioning, which she was so grateful for. 

As soon as she made it to her room, she felt the first touch swipe through her core, and she nearly keened. 

Her throat pulsed, the necklace weakly glowing in the dark of her room. 

Her body felt hot. She was embarrassed at the amount of wetness that was pooling in her underwear, but most importantly, she was so fucking confused at what was going on. 

Something wet and blunt prodded at her entrance, and her knees buckled as she locked her door. 

She nearly crawled to her bed as her choker pulsed and pulsed with a weak glow, and the blunt thing, which felt suspiciously like a pair of fingers, finally slipped inside her, curiously prodding around, as if feeling her out. 

She slapped a hand over her mouth as she squeezed around the phantom digits, their touch lingering at her g spot with ridiculous precision. The fingers withdrew and she breathed a sigh of relief, though it was short lived as something much, much larger prodded itself at her entrance. 

Her eyes widened, and she scrambled to pull Kafkas card from her bedside drawer. 

“you’ll find a beautiful little necklace I had added to the set, that’s for you to wear. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with it. “

Stelle hadn’t realized what those words meant at the time, but as the blunt head of a ridiculously sized phallic object pushed at her hole, the meaning slapped her in the face like a rouge automaton. 

Her back arched off the bed as the phantom cock pushed into her, and she choked on a moan as it buried itself deep within her. She was so ridiculously wet she wanted to cry, and knowing who was on the other end of this feeling made her eyes roll back into her head. 

The thrusts started slow, but slowly worked their way up to something more intense, almost violent. Her insides churned, and she felt the telltale signs of an orgasm building up so quickly she might scream. 

No, no no no. She scrambled, reaching for the necklace, but when her fingers reached the latch, the thrusts changed angles, pounding directly into her g-spot and she cussed into the dark of her room. 

Her orgasm washed over her like a tidal wave, crashing into her and seeping deep into her bones. It was the first actually satisfying orgasm she’d had in an incredibly long time. 

Her fingertips shook as they lingered on the necklace a moment, before she threw them back to her sheets, gripping them tightly as the thrusts continued. 

Fuck, this feels too good.

Through the post orgasm fog, she wondered if he knew. 

Did he know it was connected to her? 

She suddenly felt overcome with guilt. If he didn’t know, this felt a little like taking advantage of his struggles. If he did know, then she wanted to hear him say it out loud, that he knew exactly what he was doing to her. 

She wanted him to hear exactly what he was doing to her. 

With shaking hands and twitching thighs, she slapped around her bed for her phone, biting her lip through the pleasure to scroll through her contacts. 

It was nearly at the bottom, and the last time it was used was a hack of Silver Wolf’s, and Kafkas words, not his own. But she had to try regardless. 

She clicked the call button, bringing her phone to her ear as she bit back moans. 

Suddenly, the thrusting within her stopped, though the phantom cock remained buried within her. 

She gasped as the ringing came to a halt as the line picked up.

There was no answer, though she swore she could hear his breathing, just a bit heavier than usual. 

“Don’t… don’t stop.” She whispered. 

She thought she heard his breath catch in his throat. She definitely heard the swallow before he spoke. 

“What are you talking about.” His gravelly voice reverberated through the phone, and she felt the cock inside her move ever so slowly, in and out. 

She bit her lip. “I didn’t know at first, I swear.” Her thoughts were scrambled as the soft thrusts continued, and the knowledge that he was actively fucking himself with the toy while she spoke make her stomach jump in pleasure. 

“You didn’t know what?” He said, voice low and nearly at a whisper. 

“It’s… we’re… we’re connected.” 

The toy stopped, and she sucked in a breath of relief, hoping to gather her thoughts so she could properly explain herself. 

Suddenly a moan was ripped from her chest as his cock thrust into the toy with vigor, and his intense pace was picked back up tenfold. 

She tried to hide it, but the damage was done, and if he didn’t know before, he certainly did now as he listened to her whine and whimper through the phone. 

“I thought the inside felt far too realistic.” He growled. “You’re squeezing me so tight, little Nameless.” 

She gasped, his voice along with the stimulation was far too much, and another orgasm was quickly approaching. 

She tried to play it off like she wasn’t being fucked within an inch of her life though. 

“Yeah well, it’s… been a while since I’ve gotten any action, s-so forgive me for being a little tense.” She stammered. 

He switched his thrusts to hard and deep, so hard Stelle could nearly feel the sensation of his hips hitting hers, and she’s almost positive the fat of her lower half would be rippling in the recoil if he were actually here. 

“I knew as soon as I saw you that you were just a needy hole begging to be filled.” Blade said, voice deep and oh so condescending. 

Stelle fisted the sheets, her eyes nearly rolling into her skull as her needy moans slipped through clenched teeth. He was right, he was so right— but that didn’t mean she needed to concede so easily. 

“That’s bold talk…” she hissed, biting her lips until they felt raw. “…For someone who literally ran away from m-me as soon as his blood traveled south.”  

His dark laugh made her squeeze around him, and she knew he could feel it because the laugh trickled off into a deep groan that set her face on fire. She felt like her fingertips were alight with electricity, like her body was attempting to defy the artificial gravity on the express as she arched off her sheets. 

The pounding within her never faltered as he continued speaking his vile, filthy words at her. 

“You’re lucky I did, little Nameless.” She could almost imagine his murderous grin, the violence that vibrated through his voice was astounding. “If I had stayed I would have fucked you until not even your beloved crew would have been able to recognize the carnage I’d left behind.”

She couldn’t stop the noise that flew from her throat, a guttural keening that had her gripping her cellphone in embarrassment as he laughed once more. 

“Oh?” He teased, voice edged with gravel and venom. “You must be desperate to enjoy the idea of me fucking you until you’re nothing but hot pulp slipping through my fucking fingers.”

Oh she was so desperate, so fucked. If anyone else had said something so absolutely horrifying, she’d have run far, far away. 

“Does the rest of the express crew know how fucking depraved you are?” His thrusts seemed to pick up speed, which would’ve seemed nearly impossible, except she couldn’t exactly think at the moment, only sob as they slammed against that spot inside her over and over again until she felt herself slipping slowly. 

“Do they know that their precious little star wants to be fucked by a monster?” He snarled, and she cried out into the soft light of her room, thrashing around as her orgasm teased its way at her— but she was holding it back, why, why?

“Please,” she gasped. “Please, can I—“ oh, she thought distantly. Oh I’m so fucked up. 

Blade groaned, the slick sounds of him thrusting into the toy ringing in her ear. “So desperate, so polite. You really are something else.”

She keened, arching her back as the feeling licked at her further, so close to toppling over the edge.

“Go on then,” Blade whispered darkly. “Cum for me.” 

It crashed over her, more powerful than anything she could remember feeling. It pulsed through her in quick waves, so strong and violent as he just kept going. 

It started to dance into sickly sweet overstimulation as she heard his breath quicken, and she steadied her breath, wanting to savor this moment. 

“You know,” she breathed. “I’m a lot tougher than you think.”

His breath stuttered, his pace faltering ever so slightly. 

“I could take it,” she whispered. “I don’t think you’d hurt me in any way I didn’t want you to.” 

He faltered, and she heard him cuss under his breath through the phone.

“Yeah?” He whispered. “You’d take what I give you?”

She nodded at her ceiling, knowing he couldn’t see her, but her mind was too foggy with brutal pleasure to think straight. He was undoing her. 

“Every disgusting, violent, nasty thing you’d give me Blade,” she said, clutching the sheets as tears welled behind her eyes, praying he was almost finished but simultaneously never wanting it to end. “I’d take it so well for you, and I’d thank you for it.” 

“Fuck.” Blade moaned, deep and guttural, and his thrusting seized inside her. Much to her shock, she could feel the warmth of him filling her up, pump and after pump of him coating her insides. 

They both lay there, staring at their ceilings and breathing heavily over the phone, not speaking but not really wanting to anyways. 

Finally, once the breath returned to her lungs unlaboured, she felt him pull himself from the toy. 

She felt like she’d been hollowed out, like a crater had been formed where her insides should be, and without him there plugging her up—-her guts would fall out and she’d be left empty. 

He made a confused noise, and just as he did she felt the telltale squelch of cum slipping from her still twitching insides, and she groaned in frustration. 

“Well then,” he chuckled, softer now than before— almost a forbidden sound. “That makes cleaning up easier for me.” 

She smacked her hand over her face. “This is the weirdest toy ever invented, and I'm going to cry the next time I have to face Kafka.” 

“I figured this had something to do with her,” he said, shuffling noises heard from his end of the line. “She can never stay out of my business for too terribly long, unfortunately.” 

“Mine too it seems.” Stelle sighed. She smiled when he made a neutral sound of agreement. 

“You sound like you’re in a better mood.” She said, uncaring of the consequences.

“Well, before I realized what this really was, I was just hoping to release some inconvenient pent up energy.” He said, voice flat. “But I suppose doing it this way has added benefits. I’m no fool, I understand how the human brain works.”

“So this… helped you?” Stelle asked tentatively. 

He sighed. “I’d be lying if I said it was entirely useless.” 

Stelle smiled, stroking the choker around her throat, the delicate glow now completely faded. 

“I’ll keep my end of the connection on, it's simple enough. Just call me next time, okay? I don’t need to embarrass myself at dinner again.”

“I make no such promises.” She thought she heard the faintest of smiles in that last sentence before the line went dead.  

[allamericansbitch]

since y'all seemed to want this.... here's the live notes i took while listening to each song for the first time (bold are thoughts i had during later listens)

fortnight: 

‘i was a functioning alcohol till nobody noticed my new aesthetic’ what the fuck does that even mean…

love the fact she gave post the female collab treatment. don’t wanna hear what he has to say. 

they’re voices sound actually good together? 

some pockets of the melody are catchy

okay i don’t hate this 

ttpd:

her red flags are on fire in this song lol

this seems very half-cooked

also jacks weird mixing continues to plague us all

CHARLIE PUTH???? WHAT THE FUCK WHY HE HERE

tattooed golden retriever??? ……no way

my boy breaks all his favorite toys:

i blinked and it’s half over

this also is like… half cooked and didn’t need to be released tbh

i love the way she sings the second verse tho

down and:

the production does not match the vibe

did tpain produce this

i’m… kinda bored lol

like i have nothing to say this also didn’t need to be released tbh 

this grew on me a lot actually

so long london 

the production is so futuristic? 

oh im obsessed with how she sounds on this one

her talk-singing in the verses is great

honest lyrics without any clunky unnecessary metaphors! a win!!

the fast-paced verses with th slow chorus is really really cool

a favorite so far

daddy i love him

i can barely hear her? the bad mixing continues 

‘growing up precociously sometimes means not growing up at all’ oh yeah WE KNOW

is this…… is this about her dating matty and loving how people hate him… no fucking way she’s this stupid

SHE IS BEING THIS STUPID

‘it’s white noise’ yeah yeah that’s exactly how id describe him  

.... anyway y'all remember when fans really believed the little mermaid theory and this song was supposed to be about how 'joe stole her voice' lmaooo

we will pretend this one doesn't exist!

fresh out the slammer

are we getting another ‘i didn’t cheat technically’ song lol

what is this weird tempo change….

okay kinda catchy

it’s sounds exactly like you are in love at the end….. jack is really out of tricks

florida

‘my friends all smell like weed or little babies’ what the fuck is she even talking about anymore 

i’m sorry but i’m laughing at the phrase ‘fuck me up florida’

again the production sounds so detached from the vocals 

i honestly still have no idea how i feel about this one

guilt as sin

an real instrument?? wow crazy 

okay she’s kinda cute? catchy and fun, love the melody

i love when she goes up at the end of the vocal 

okay…. i don’t mind this one she’s catchy, a little too long and drawn out but cute

who’s afraid of little old me?

what is this production? it’s way too soft to be as threatening as they’re trying for 

why did jack push her vocals back so far when she’s supposed to scream…. that’s ruins the whole thing…. she’s supposed to be screaming and threatening….. not quiet and far away…. hello

this song is trying very hard to be threatening but it’s not... vigilante shit 2.0

‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum they raised me’…………… upper middle-class pennsylvania? 

‘i’m drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all say, that’ll  sue you if you step on my lawn’ okay bar?

the bridge was good but that’s about it.

i can fix him 

…………… not another matty song oh god

‘i can handle a dangerous man’…… im too stunned to speak this is so embarrassing 

wow taylor really is that girl who like ‘women supporting women’ and then dates/defends a racist bf…. a walking example of white feminism

intersectional feminism found dead.... twice....

loml

okay this is really nice? 

I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE SONG WHY DID SHE RUIN IT BY SAYING ‘MR STEAL YOUR GIRL’ 💀

if we ignore that one line we're good this is good. im refusing to let that line ruin such a good song

i can do it with a broken heart

‘bitch smile’ why are there so many cringey lyrics on this album lol

what is this song omg why do i kind of like it 

taylor please learn depressed isn’t a synonym for sad 

they recycled the mastermind production 

wait till taylor finds out most of the entire world is sad while they're doing their job and has to pretend they're not

smallest man who ever lived 

oh i think i like this?

‘you said normal girls were boring’ GIRL AND YOU DIDNT IMMEDIATELY GET UP AND LEAVE??? EWWWW??? she's not beating the pick-me allegations

'i just wanna know if rusting my sparking summer was the goal' okay love that line

i like this a lot

the alchemy

no….. no way this is real

i cannot

THE SPORTS METAPHORS WE JOKED SHED DO THAT AND SHE ACTUALLY DID IT OH NO 

touchdown ✅ teams ✅ benches ✅ winning streak ✅ the league ✅

she’s doing…… the worst thing ever this is so laughable 

the corny lyrics are on overload 

‘this time it’s heroine with an e’ didn’t she write folklore? i can’t remember 

that literally was an snl parody of a taylor song

clara bow

love how the guitar sounds… bet money this is an aaron track 

a stevie nicks reference!! a win!!!

i like this one a lot no cringey lyrics yet

nope never mind she name-dropped herself don’t like that

overall really liked it tho

the black dog

i think i like it?? this is kind of what i expected the album to be

okay for once the weird production choices kind of pay off

imgonnagetyouback

kinda catchy? 

she loves a fancy car getting wrecked line

the pre-choruses are the best part 

this would’ve been better without the jack of it all bc he loves a song that doesnt build to anything

this just comes down to personal preference: i don’t like her lighter vocals with jack’s heavy production (ie most of lover lol)

the albatross

a real instrument!!! production that matches taylor’s voice and is well mixed!!! aaron’s arrived!! 

i think it’s solid, has good writing and she sounds great. that's about it.

chloe or sam or…

took me a solid minute to have any semblance of a fuck to know what was going on but okay

okay i love this one

wayyyy more emotive than like… most of the original album

a lot of the 2nd version (or whatever this is lol) are way more emotive, maybe because her voice isnt drenched in reverb so we can actually hear her voice emote better

how did it end

this sounds like an old school adele song? 

i love this one too…. 

her being upset people wanna know what happened but then also feeding it while promoting the album oop 

i love the story of this one it's so refreshing

so high school

THE PRODUCTION is so good ugh aaron never fails 

the man here is a walking red flag girl and the lyrics are ~not it~ but the production is too pretty to hate it

fuck these lyrics are so bad lol

maybe if i disassociate hard enough i can ignore the lyrics and just listen to the production and vibe

give me a karaoke version of this song and we'd be so back

i hate it here

i mentioned disassociation and she made a whole song about it!!!! this one’s mine!!!! 

‘without all the racists’ GIRL HUH

WHAT WAS THE REASON

also... girl don’t act like we don’t know you’re fine with that lololololol

if i had a dime for every time i was liking a song to then have it slapped away because of a bad, out-of-pocket lyric…… 

thank you aimee

this isn’t grabbing my attention 

oh the bridge is interesting 

it’s meh 

i will never be thanking the people that bullied me thanks tho

i look in peoples windows 

what do you mean aaron didn’t produce this??? it’s well-made and has instruments? 

i love this one, again a really interesting and unique concept that's very refreshing to hear at this point when a lot of the songs feel repetitive

the prophecy

aaron guitar!!!! 

she’s nice i like her 

i've really grown to love how she sings this one, the melodies are cool.. however i feel like we've heard the same melody.. like on this exact album... where she upturns at the end of every line...

cassandra 

this seems very…. familiar… idk i feel like we’ve covered this (i mean there are 31 songs we’ve already covered everything lol)

this is such an aaron song, that's a classic 'the national' piano

i like her voice in this one tho, sounds good

peter

oh love i love this

now this? THIS feels the most like a taylor swift song

once again she’s at her best with a simple instrument and emotive simple lyrics

the piano reminds me of champagne problems

the bolter 

i like this! the chorus is so cute

oh i like that ending line a lot!

she’s cute, a little long and drawn out but cute

robin

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this one

welp…. i literally have no feelings toward this one but sounds pretty! 

the manuscript

oh this is soooooooo powerful 

i love this concept 

her ending the album on another introspective album that sums everything up a la dear reader yep yep!!

if you actually read of this ily 💗

[dontlookatmytmntcollection]

First I Love You

Bayverse TMNT × Fem!Reader

This is self indulgent garbage I have made to keep myself distracted.

It varies from Drama to Fluff to Angst and Pre established relationship to a fucking year into being official to Y/N to she/her. No spicy tho. Good luck lol

-Raphael-

It wasn't panic.

It wasn't. He felt excitement. Raphael was bursting with energy. Stomach in knots, head pounding, chest pushing and pulling oxygen as if it was hard.

It wasn't panic. Leo concluded the huddle with a nod. "Let's do this!"

"Turtle power!" The group shouted. Turtle and human alike branched off in different directions.

Raph looked over at you.

"Raph, I-"

"C'mon people, let's go!" Vern called.

Raph didn't know what to do, heart racing and blood surging. Making him jittery. He half-heartly ran after his brothers.

He couldn't help but glance back.

You had taken a step back closer to Vern. You were watching them go, frightened. He understood.

He could die or get taken away- this might be the last he would ever see any of these people ever again. Last time he would ever see you.

"You don't have to do that." You had laughed, smiling as he lifted your couch.

"You're not gonna do it." He teased, watching your dog fetch it's toy happily.

"It's an upper east side candy shop." Raph explained one night. "I know you like sweets."

You gave him the biggest puppy eyes, smile ear-to-ear, holding the snacks to your chest. "You're my hero."

God, had he wanted to kiss you. He almost did one time. Almost spilled his guts when you blinked tiredly up at him. The scales of his arm were imprints along your face. Marks a movie lengths worth in the making. They wouldn't fade for several minutes. It was so cute.

Your hand grabbed his once. Tugging him to the edge of the water, in an effort to show him something. Probably. He couldn't remember. He hid his shyness under the banter. Soaking up the feeling of your hand in his.

Raph couldn't stop thinking about you, anymore. He knew you felt something too. He was more than happy about that.

But it wasn't meant to be. He knew better.

"We can't do this." Raph had whispered two days ago. Pulling his hand away from your fingers. Pulling away from what had almost been a kiss. "It's wrong."

Something numb fell over your expression. Blocking him out. It broke his heart as you pulled your lips tight. Looking down and nodding. "Okay."

Raph had faced impossible odds before. But this was bigger. Scarier. He knew there was a chance he could never make it. A good one if this plan doesn't go well.

No.

He needed to do this.

His feet started to do their own thing.

"Raph?" Donnie called. Confused.

You turned back around, suddenly swallowed up in Raphael's shadow. "Raph, w-"

"I love you."

Her eyes widened, staring up at Raph.

"I'm fucking crazy about you." He whispered, terrified. "I fell in love with you, and I'm sorry I-"

"Raph-"

"You're the best thing to ever happen to me, and I've been wishing I could be the guy you deserve, but I'm not, so...so I just want you to know -"

"I-I love you too." She whispered, rushing forward.

Raph blinked. Relief overwhelming him before he could register what had been said.

"I love you so fucking much." His best friends small hands were quickly on his cheeks; the sensation like lightning on his scales.

It...probably wasn't the best kiss, in hindsight. He had done nothing but stare wide-eyed in disbelief as it happened, was happening, and happened.

She pulled back, her hands petting his face. His hands holding her head too. Her eye contact made his limbs go numb when she whispered, "Just come back to me, okay?"

Just come back to me.

"Uh...Okay."

She choked out a laugh, letting go of his face and pushing at his chest. "Now go get 'em tiger." It made Raph choke and smile back.

"Raph!" Leo shouted.

Ignoring Vern's expression of horror. Raph nodded to himself. "Okay." He said again. "Okay." He sprinted after his brothers on legs he couldn't feel, new energy driving him forward.

-Michelangelo-

You weren't naive.

You knew he wouldn't be accepted by most of your family. You knew that a few individuals might even be dangerous to Mikey and his family.

But the key word was most.

The newest generations, relatives your age, were much more accepting of many things. Within reason.

With your boyfriends...predicament- it took some extra effort on your part to set up a meeting of some kind. A meeting in which both parties had nowhere to go but through the uncomfortable interaction. With no room for reactive actions. No access to immediate exits, phones, or weapons-

Good thing you were dating an actual angle.

Mikey could work a room so easily, it overwhelmed you. He had your siblings charmed within seconds; cracking wise while the first gawking and terrified reactions were water off his shell.

Now, your boyfriends social circle was that much bigger.

One thing led to another. Weeks went by, then months. It's how you two ended up here. You on your siblings couch curled up with a book. Chaos all around you.

"Aaand...boo!" Mikey leapt out from behind the doorway.

"AHHahah!" One of your neices squeeled and ran away, hands covering her face.

"C'mere, you." Mikey growled, his smile just as wide as he dramatically stomped after the four kids, his hands perfect T-rex claws. His shadow easily swallowing them as they hurried away.

"Mikey, you can't eat them!" Your nephew wasn't older than five, but he chased after the giant turtle man as they rounded the couch you were sitting on.

Mikey tackled your nephew to the ground expertly, the boy roaring in delight; getting tickled ferociously.

"Ahhh! Stopp!!" The boy was desperately trying to worm away from your boyfriend. "That hurts!"

Mikey let go, and the boy continued to giggle as he caught his breath, struggling to get up.

"Ya a'right?" Mikey smiled.

"AHHH!" One neice came out of nowhere, pouncing on Mikey's arm.

"Oh NOO!" Mikey cried as he fell expertly over, making the little girl laugh. Your nephew screamed in triumph, jumping on his shoulders.

The other two saw the action, and pounced.

"We gotchu!!"

"Oh no, oh no!!" Mikey whined, struggling carefully for their entertainment as the kids climbed on top of him. He went limp, a gross sound in his thoat.

The kids squeeled, tiny hands slapping him playfully. "We know you're not dead, Mikey!"

He didn't reply.

Your neice shook his shoulder. "My-ee?"

"RAH!" Mikey jolted awake, and they all screamed and scrambled away.

"Get back here!" He called.

The kids scrambled to another room, leaving you and your boyfriend facing each other where he was kneeling on the carpet.

"How are you doing?" Mikey asked, still smiling. He had glitter stickers all over him. And marker ink was all over his shoulder.

Your heart had swelled, closing your throat and misting your eyes. He looked good like this. Happy.

"I love you." You muttered.

Mikey jolted, his eyes blowing wide. "...W-what?"

"I love you." You repeated with a smile, voice breaking.

Mikey's jaw dropped, his hands lifting a little from his knees. "We're- I-I-I love you-"

"UNGUARDD!"

A pool noodle slapped Mikey's head from behind.

You laughed.

-Donatello-

"All done." You whispered.

"Thank you."

You didn't look at him, setting down the needle and blood-soaked fabric.

You and Donnie were sheltered in the lab. Curtain drawn. He sat maskless and blind in his chair. Hands clasped between his spread knees.

He'd been quiet. Avoiding your gaze.

You stared at what would be a new scar on his face. Down his cheek and neck. You mourned the marring of some turtle stripes under his jaw.

Blood was crusted between scales around your messy stitches; and you slowly got to work of gently dabbing it away. One hand on his other cheek to keep him still.

You couldn't handle it alone anymore. Hurt that had weld up in your chest suddenly surged. Your voice began working again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You whispered.

He didn't answer. But you felt a muscle clench under your fingers.

You bit your lip. Tears welling up at last.

Your proposal that fateful night hadn't been unique. At all. But the offer of another date night was ignored by him completely.

Ghosted. You had gone to April. Worried that something might have happened.

April's number apparently didn't exist anymore. Her face gone from her regular network. Nothing was said about it. As if you had made everything up.

You didn't have any other numbers. You didn't know where to find anyone. You'd begun to accept he had let you go. All of them. Suddenly. But they were gone, none the less.

You were not needed; and Donatello hadn't wanted you.

Then tonight, two hours ago; you'd received a mystery caller. Three times. Leo. Imploring. Needing more hands, because Donnie was down and out for the count. You had never heard the leaders voice like this.

Karai was now dead.

Everyone is home safe.

You felt tears finally spill down your cheeks. You pulled away, sniffing as you scrubbed harshly at your cheeks.

Donnie reacted to the sound as if shot.

"Y/N it wasn't -"

"You didn't tell me." You hissed. "That's all I need to know."

"It's not like that!" Donnie said urgently. "I couldn't -"

"I needed one text. N-not even that, just... something. Anything." You hissed. "I don't even ask for an explanation! Just saying it's unsafe to talk would have been more than enough. Y-you and I even have a safeword-!"

"I couldn't do that!" Donnie said. "They had tracked Splinter and April through our communications. My firewalls should have prevented the Foot from - I didn't - I didn't know, and I couldn't endanger another person I love the same way."

A person I love.

You gasped, chest heaving with built-up sobs. Physical pain struck you at his words. Shock. Denial. Two weeks. Nothing -

"You don't love me!" You choked. Insistant.

Donnie blinked, mouth dropping slightly open as he stared at you wide-eyed.

He took in a shaky breath. "Yes, I do."

You sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut as you scrubbed some tears away. "No, you don't, c'mon." It was the weakest you've ever sounded.

Donnie's hands snagged your elbows. Pulling you to face him so his hands could rest on either side of your head.

"You were in danger." His voice shook. "You were in so much danger - and I'd rather you think I left or was gone than ever - ever, see you hurt. Especially because I was too fucking s-stupid to protect you or my family."

You were silent. Staring at him like he was the last thing left alive.

He bit his lip, wet eyes sparkling with the most conviction you'd ever seen. "I love you so much. You're the best thing to ever happen to me, and I promised myself I would keep you safe, no matter what. If...If I could redo all of this, I wouldn't change anything." His voice broke. "It'll be different from now on, but...the thought of you somewhere out there hating me is better than the thought of you...not being here at all."

You hiccuped, face wet with renewed tears as you pushed forward. Kissing him.

-Leonardo-

Leo hadn't liked you at first. At all, really. Comes with the territory, you thought. You didn't blame him.

The trust built slowly every month. Half a year went by before you could easily call him your friend, and you were good friends.

The problem was that you had started crushing on him. Hard.

One night, Leo had stopped you; rain pouring down as he - very awkwardly...asking you out.

You could tell that he had been terrified. It made your smile that much wider. Because you were terrified too. Over the moon. Finally.

You later found out the guy had actually the corniest, cutest list of dates he had been hoping to take you on. All written in a neat, dorky list in one of his notebooks. When you confronted him - he couldn't meet your eyes he had been so embarrassed.

Leo had been the one to ask if he could kiss you.

You had fallen in love. Not quickly. But you had admitted to yourself - looking up into those pretty blue eyes - that you were crazy in love.

And yet...

Leo still hadn't taken off his mask.

You asked once. "Am I ever going to see you without it?"

"Hell no." He huffed at you while he set your house plant back down.

"Scared I might find out you're a turtle?" You scoffed. "I have some crazy news."

"Nice try, but that kind of show-" Leo reached above you to grab a cup, then pointed it at your smug grin. "Isn't for free. VIP only."

"I'm not a VIP girlfriend?" You were outraged.

The curiosity was always there. But you didn't push. You knew it would happen eventually.

That moment came a week later. When you ran your nails across his scalp.

You quickly did it a second time after his tiny noise of happy surprise. A gentle scratch. Only slight pressure to the green skin.

"What're you doing back there?" Leo twisted, peering up at you from where he sat on the floor infront of you.

You kept at it. Smiling as you switched between scratching and petting his scalp, adding a second hand. "Just touching you. That okay?"

Leo's eyes fluttered before he turned back to the TV. His shell between your knees.

As time passed, Leo's head lowered. His neck weakening. He obviously wasn't watching anymore.

"You okay?" You giggled quietly.

"Mm."

"C'mere." You pat your lap. "Turn around."

Leo did. He paused, facing you. You stared back, smiling before pressing a hard loud kiss to the side of his snout. Pushing his head slightly with its force, making him smile and laugh.

God, you loved that laugh.

Your hands opened and closed dramatically over his form as he slumped his head into your lap, curling up close. You nearly giggled at how large his head was as he rested his cheek on a thigh.

There was one problem....

"Hey," you whispered. "May I move the mask?"

Leo froze.

"I can work with it." You quickly said, cringing. "You're okay."

"No," Leo said. "No, it's okay. Hang on."

Your heart leapt into your throat in surprise. But you bit your lip. You didn't want to scare him as he sat up and used one hand to loosen the knot.

Leo pulled it off swiftly. Never looking at you.

You stared.

You had convinced yourself it wouldn't be a huge deal seeing his face. It was a small mask. How much could it really hide?

Apparently, a lot. You felt your brain adjust to the ridiculous fact that it had been unprepared to have so much green to look at.

Leo moved to lean back down. You stopped him. That's when he looked at you.

Leo's eyes hadn't changed a bit. You realized that they looked even more gorgeous like this.

You're heart squeezed.

You'd been dying to tell him. Now more than ever.

"Hi." You whispered, smiling and petting his cheeks.

"C'mon," Leo winced. "It's not..."

"Tell me it at least feels better off..." the backs of your fingers pet down his cheeks before you pushed your nails along each side of his head. Across his temples and then along his scalp again. "It sure looks better off."

His eyes rolled closed. He pushed further into the contact, a pretty groan slipping out.

He stayed there. Leaned a little bit forward as he sat on the floor. His head being pet and scratched from where you sat in front of him on the couch. You pressed a few kisses across brow and nose when you felt his weight going lax once more.

Then holding his jaw, you pressed your lips firmly against his forehead.

Leo signed.

This was it. Time to tell him. You took a deep breath.

"I love you." Leo whispered.

[saruman-the-silly]

Oh hello... I wanted to make a request, I wanted to know how the Papas would react to seeing that y/n is a little chubby. Because I was looking in the mirror and I was so sad about what I saw, and now I'm lying in bed scrolling through Tumblr thinking about making this request... You don't have to do it if you don't want to, It's just that I love the way you write that I kept thinking about it.

I very much want to, thank you very much :D there is nothing, and I repeat, nothing wrong with being a little chubby, or being a lot more chubby! Whatever size you are, you are beautiful, remember that <3

This also gives me a reason to finally write something for Primo and Secondo so thank you hehe

soooooo I present to you, headcanons about the papas with a chubby reader! (gender neutral ofc hehe)

(I wrote this kind of quickly so if there are horrible grammatical errors, I will try and fix them as I find them lol)

------------------------------

Headcanons: Papas with a chubby reader

Primo:

He's very old, and a bit old-fashioned, so he just instantly thought you were an angel when he saw you. Back in his days, the curvier you were, the more attractive you were.

When he got to know you as a person, he grew to love you very quickly.

All of your curves and imperfections were a work of art for him.

Primo is also such a gentle person, and would notice the instant you were feeling down/insecure. He doesn't pressure you to talk about it though, but he still makes sure you know that he's there for you.

If you wanna talk tho? He would listen really well, and after you had poured your insecurities out on the table, he would assure you that your curves just made you more, well, you. And you were his amore, the most beautiful thing in the world.

Secondo:

He's a serious guy who does not like to talk about emotions and stuff. (I don't think he even knows how but lmao anyway)

Secondo's usually serious and no-bullshit charade was quickly torn away by you and your delightful presence. (He was freaking out like crazy when he first met you, Terzo would not let him forget how he stumbled over his words when he was first introduced to you)

Also, fuck, he couldn't keep his eyes from you. Every time you are in a same room with him, his gaze almost involuntarily shifts back to you.

He loves you. So much. So when you came to him, telling how you didn't think you looked good, he was a little confused. How could you see yourself in such a light, when you had made such an impact on him?

He reassures you that yes, he wants to be with you and nobody else.

He doesn't really know say anything else. But he doesn't need to, his actions prove the endless love he harbours for you.

Terzo:

Ah, Terzo, our hopeless romantic.

Terzo has seen many different types of bodies up close and personal during his life, but not one of them could match your beauty.

Needless to say, when he first met you he fell. Hard. Like, head over heels. Out the door went his playboy days, he only had eyes for you.

He literally worships the ground you walk on.

You had trouble believing him, when he confessed his undying love for you. (Don't blame him he just likes to be theatrical but he really did mean it)

You confessed to Terzo about your insecurities, and he proved himself to be a great listener. After talking, he reassured you that yes, he meant what he said, yes, he wants to be with you.

He would then bring you in front of a mirror, and gently kiss and caress all the parts of your body you are insecure about.

Copia:

He would understand your struggles very well. Having a history with insecurities himself, Copia isn't a stranger to body dysmorphia.

Copia loves you. So much. You helped him get through a lot of his insecurities, so, now was his turn.

He let you vent, while making you a cup of tea, and wrapped you in a tight hug afterwards. You cried in his arms and he just held you and comforted you.

Copia is very direct about his feelings toward you. He lists all the things he loves about you, and tells you how you size just makes you all the more perfect. (the man loves thick thighs)

He would do his best to make you see yourself in the same light he sees you. Copia gently traces over your stretchmarks with his finger, then kisses them and whispers to you how beautiful you are.

---------------------------

Thanks for the request annnd enjoy :D

Remember, you are beautiful no matter your size <3

[arcadia345]

The Natal Astrology chart of Jeon-Jungkook

‼���🔞🔞🔞 not a real astrologer just my observations :) paid readings

Born in Busan, South Korea on Monday Sept. 1st 1997 at 3:23pm

ASC: Capricorn 6°

the first thing to stand out on him appearance wise would be his hands and arms, shoulders, teeth, hair, legs and thighs, but especially his torso! With his dreamlike and eccentric presence they didn’t take him seriously Saturn influence but as time passed and he worked on his crafts and himself everyone seen him as the star he is. Capricorns are known for having to mature quicker than others because of responsibilities. As a cap rising with Uranus and Neptune in the first just like him I KNEW he was a Capricorn bc of how his nose has always been prominent throughout his life but now he’s grown up/ into his features 🥹 and also how everyone always projecting (Neptune)onto him like???? Like when did he tell you this?? Definitely the dissociation king 👑. Very easy to dream about him I feel😭 he brings out our subconscious desires. His rebellious Uranus side popped out when he came out with his piercings and tats you could tell he was tired of being projected onto but also iconic because he’s kinda like the first A-list K-pop idol (bts in general tho)to go out of social norms appearance wise. In a way they kinda broke a generational curse 🥹 I remembered how he said he got the scar on his cheek because he was fighting with his brother which correlates to his Aries Saturn (his chart ruler) in the 3rd(siblings). Style wise he gets bored quickly so he’d like to switch up his appearance often. Most of the time he’d go for comfortable but still fashionable clothing, like you may see him in a chill outfit but it’ll cost more than ur rent💀. He could like to switch it up with odd/bold/flirty colors & fits but mostly he loves his darker colors like grey and black.

2nd house: Aquarius 14°

Lemme tell y’all right now…. This man is WIERD at heart🤣🤣 like he’s genuinely quirky lol it’s not a front like fr he’s so down to earth it’s crazy🥹 also his whole chart points to being very spiritual? esp with that 8th house stellium like he’s very into expanding his mind in any way possible so his could be heavily gifted and in pretty sure he knows this by now. He definitely ask himself “why me?”all the time like what did he do to end up so blessed/different?. He definitely would’ve had money regardless of fame as long as he stays true to himself and learns to give enough without being taken advantage of. He loves watching television/listening to music to pass the time. (Any other Neptune in 1st feel like they were raised by television??) Jupiter is all about indulging so in the 2nd house he loves all the simple pleasures, he LOVES FOOD like omg & nice clothes and smells everything that makes you feel good, he likes to collect things that’ll make you go????🤨😃 also he’s DEFINITELY CHRONICALLY ONLINE AND STALKING US BUT HE CANT HELP IT he’s just really nosey lmao😂. He’s the type of celeb to be like “I’m bored, what are my fans doing?” Like omg pookie you genuinely curious what I’m up to??? I feel so special😭 he feels his real persona can come out online better than irl? I think it’s a shyness thing.

ꪔ̤̥ Now since he grew up in the spotlight please take into consideration since bts is his 2nd family a lot of the things I discuss would include them especially 3rd and 4th house but I’ll just call them family also

3rd house: Pisces 23°

First off we already know how dreamy and passionate he is when it comes to his communication skills, in school years he could’ve been the kid nobody noticed in class, also bullying could’ve been a issue, the type to sleep through class, also his siblings could be talented as well, he/they could have many secrets they share between each other. I’m getting that it could be hard for him to remember his upcomings sometimes because like it genuinely flew over his head💀 like yes he was there but he wasn’t there mentally sometimes lol same. Saturn in this house his siblings/ family were strict on him he could be shy when it comes to expressing his emotions like it’s hard to just pinpoint one emotion when you feel everything all at once so that could discourage him from expressing himself. Also he could’ve been lied to /left out often and didn’t even know it omg😭 now don’t get me wrong even tho a lot of things fly past his head he’s VERY MUCH self aware he just doesn’t care fr💀 also since his 3rd house ruler is in the 1st the scenario that comes to mind is like someone seeing your sibling out and public and the first thing they ask is “where’s your brother(Jk)?” Saturn can represent the father and discipline🥺 trying not to cry while type this) him and his siblings went through a lot of difficult times together but also they taught him so much he has sooo much respect for them he knows he wouldn’t be the same person today without them omg like they really raised him🥺🥺😭

4th house: Aries 26°

Now he could’ve had an erratic home life he could’ve moved around a lot & moved far away at a young age since Venus is in the 9th. There is a lot of mars masculine energy here so he likes chaos/excitement in his home also lots of sporty/action stuff around the house I feel like when he first met bts it was like his first taste of freedom in a way. I tell ya rn there was never a dull moment where he lived lol. Him and his family were always in competition with someone they had to fight for their place. Struggle wise at times he could’ve been FIGHTING for his life lots of arguments and aggression (which makes sense since they said they didn’t really get along at first)but with the Taurus degree there was definitely struggles with money and food / stability and personal possessions which drove him to work even harder. His 4th house ruler being in the 10th is giving I grew up at work😟😔

5th house: Taurus 22°

Firstly he’d be such a great dad 🥺 a really funny one too 😂 . His flirting style is not flirting at all😎 well kinda he’s more of gift giving person. His love language is genuinely opening up to you because he barely gets to do that fr, for Capricorns that’s a big thing. Things like showing you the most simple smallest things that means sm to him🥹🥹 to things he created. also food is big to him like the key to his heart actually, that man loves his food! be ready to be wined and dined and spoileddd. He loves traveling, dancing, music, philosophies & beautiful things so he’ll want to get your input on almost everything he wants to pick your brain lol. Also he’s really clingy that’s important to him physical touch but he really doesn’t open up much because he knows he has a lot to lose so he definitely isn’t a fling type of guy he likes to build a foundation with someone unless it’s like a one time thing out of the country where he knows he’ll probably never see you again so might as well act on his instincts. He could be into choking/restrictions, taboos, spontaneity, feet??? One of his erotic zones is his neck. Also his siblings influence his creativity heavily because he knows they know what’s best for him. What he considers as fun is eating😭😭👀 playing some games, cooking, listening to his fav music, drinking, cleaning doing laundry like he’s such a simple man that a good day for him would be staying home all day 😂

6th house: Gemini 14°

He’s very versatile he likes learning he hungers for knowledge. He keeps a strict routine but still likes to switch it up cause he gets bored easily. He was very young when he started working and also he was one of the youngest of his peers so Gemini here makes sense also as he is naturally curious he likes working with his peers/ siblings and unique personalities. He likes traveling also and trying the different types of food they have and shopping there also he obviously spoils his pets feeds them the best food keeps them well groomed, it’s in a mutable sign so I wouldn’t be surprised if he had many types of animals but he’ll want to cuddle a lot with them so idk if he’ll be keen to reptilians with such a busy career atm. He’ll also be very vocal with them they could know a lot of tricks that he taught them. He’d like to travel with them also if he has the chance to, Taurus in his 5th he loves to dress them up and pamper them, wouldn’t be surprised if he was having danceoffs against them lmao 😂

7th house: Cancer 6°

Let me tell you something…. This is HUSBAND MATERIAL RIGHT HERE. The type to be like “I can fix them.” Cause he loves a challenge but he’d actually be able to fix them ngl😭. But first let’s get into how other people perceive him on a 1-1 basis. Now with both these planets being in the 8th it’s very evident that they’d want to jump his bones/ spiral into obsession/ an awakening after meeting him. People naturally spill their hearts out to him, definitely a trauma dumping placement. Ofc people are gonna baby him it’s like he brings out people’s maternal instincts they just wanna keep him safe🥹 but this is also how he treats everyone, with genuine love and respect❤️ also he could get shy easily like the bunny Thumper from Bambi 🥹

8th house: Leo 14°

Okay now bare with me on this one because it’s hard to really understand stelliums if you don���t have one in ur chart, but what I’ve noticed is no matter what they seem to get put in situations that correlate with the house the stellium is in, which causes them to focus on the opposite house to balance the energy’s out. Now first off this man has some HEAVY good karma from the past life he honestly deserves every abundant thing that comes to him x2. As you know he is very keen on perfectionism and order, I refuse to believe he wasn’t some cult leader /powerful witch or something in the past life. Especially a VIRGO stellium in the 8??!!? He was/is a natural born healer 🥹🥹 no doubts about it especially with his moon at a 0° so the moon is in its pure element no matter the sign he’s here to experience those raw emotions. I’ve never met someone with their moon degree at 0 cause its hard to find but i had a manager that had a cancer Venus 0° and when I tell you she made me feel soo special 🥹🥹 like you can feel how genuine she is she loved giving gifts and making sure everyone was okay like the energy was so PURE and innocent in a way it reminds me of jungkook and his acts of service . Also which is why I get why everyone thought he was a Leo moon cause he is in sidereal Astro but I don’t get that egoistic attitude from him if anything it’s the opposite. I don’t want this section to be too long so I’ll move on to his pleasures😈 he’s into praising, teasing, creampies, being rough, nipple play, playful banter, degrading, car s*x, breast/chest, backshots, anal, heavvvy on oral and hand play the type to tie you up 😳 he could possibly be LGBTQ+ friendly if ykwim since he has prominent Aquarius and Virgo is a mutable sign known for their curiosity and versatility, and yk Virgos are obsessed with perfection and cleanness so I’m assuming he likes to get extra messy and wet during the act and he’s not finished with you till you BOTH climax he refuses to be known for bad s*x😤 he likes to make a scene/put on a show. But like I said earlier with his moon and mercury conjunct he needs a strong emotional and mental connection with you before he does anything. His 8th house is so interesting I could go on and on but no😏

9th house: Virgo 23°

Jungkook is very sharp when it comes to the 9th and 8th house since they’re very important in fulfilling his life purpose. In later years school people could’ve seen him as perfect in a way very organized and on point probably a teachers pet or honestly it could’ve been the other way around 😹 ofc half the class had some type of crush on him or was just naturally curious about him but still with that Pisces degree he lowkey didn’t care to be there in a way he probably was absent often but the teachers didn’t care cuz hello??? It’s jk.🥴 Let’s not forget his Libra Venus is in this house as well so he’s natural charming without trying esp to foreigners (9th). He has a strong connection to his past life so I’m thinking he’s like a green witch in a way? Like healing/manifesting when cooking or in nature around plants and animals, singing or just by listening to someone who needs to vent or vise versa. When he travels he needs EVERYTHING to be clean and in place to make sure him and his people are safe bc if not he’ll spiral also he could get jet lagged easily but by now he probably has a routine that helps with that. Also I wouldn’t be surprised if he got married to a foreigner, someone in his circle that he’s known for a long time. Ngl I have Libra 19° in 9th and I tend to get reallly curious when I travel ifykwim 🥴🫣 I really like to experience the people aswell as the location that I’m in to get the full experience. Also with the Pisces degree he’s more likely to do substances like 🚬 and drinking when he’s with his siblings/cousins/ traveling

Mc : Libra 26°

His mother has a heavy Venus influence on him, I’m getting his family altogether was close-knit growing up. He’s known for his worldwide aesthetics, and basically being perfect boyfriend/husband material. Hes known to be easily loved by many, but he’ll mostly be know for the pain he’s experienced, his healing abilities, and his versatility in skills. His Chiron is in this house so most of his pain comes from the industry he’s in, authority, and his public image, with it being at a 29° his ego can hurt him the most😳 which is why I don’t understand why people would get that cocky vibe from him other than his mars. With a Scorpio mars here he’ll also be known as a big sex symbol/someone who brings strong reactions out of people. Since it’s also the ruler of his 11th house so he’ll be known for his viscous and obsessive fans especially online. He’s prone to getting many stalkers/sesangs with how heavy his 10th and 11th house is with Scorpio energy and peers see him as competition even though they see he’s not a malicious person. On the positive side tho he’ll have the ability to feel & see what goes unseen, people’s hidden motives and desires, and so will his fans!! Iykyk👀 Also mars represents passions and pleasure so he could have a thing for love at the workplace, maybe into older/mature people or power play. He could have a porn addiction, definitely into some kinky 💩 with that Aquarius degree. yall plz don’t cancel me I’m just reading his chart. 😭

11th house: Scorpio 22°

His internet presence with have good longevity, this house has to do with our wishes, I’ve been saying I really feel like he did something in the past life to “seal the deal” fame wise because that’s what his chart is giving doesn’t necessarily mean he did something bad but there was definitely intentional manifestation there. Esp with the kill or be killed degree here you don’t have room for mistakes. Yall this man is a stalker big timmme like he stalks us reallll bad but also so does his fans 😹😹 it’s definitely a 2-way street I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a spam twitter account to watch us start army wars💀. If you have Pluto in 11th you know how hard it is NOT to stalk people online😩??? I don’t even care about the people I stalk I’m just nosey asf lmao. His Pluto is at 2° so he could get a lot of gifts from seasangs esp food and material things I’ve heard him speak on these topics also. They’ll try to expose him for having fun since Taurus is in his 5th house,ie while out at restaurants, shopping, his creative endeavors, his love life, or just when he’s at his most comfortable, and children.(Omg? The way that sesang incident with Enwoo just happened right after I typed this wth😳)He understands how crucial his privacy is for his protection so he’ll choose not to post as much. He’s the friend in the group with the silent power/ magneticistm, he prefers to befriend people who understands his deep emotions, friends that have also went through traumatic experiences, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was apart of a online community secretly so he can feel normal for once. Also he’s known as the sexy emo friend lmao with the cool tats and piercings that smokes cigarettes to look cool 😎 he also prefers to befriend people who look like this also

12th house: Sagittarius 14°

Sag in your chart is where your blessings are & what you’re optimistic about. Also where you tend to be a little pessimistic. Sagittarius reminds me of the feeling a sugar rush/liqour gives you, while Capricorn reminds me of the come down afterwards regretting all the decisions you made and how you’ll never do it again. Like I’ve said this whole time he is spiritually gifted and he has strong connection to his past life. He has a lot of Deja vu moments, the things/hobbies he loved then he loves in this life also it brings him a lot of fulfillment. He’d prefer to be in solitude than to be around people but his Jupiter is in Aquarius so this part is a bit odd… he’s comfortable having cameras around when he’s secluded esp with friends but in public??? He hates it especially when he’s not with anyone he knows I think he has social anxiety 🥺 could’ve been overweight in the past life that’s probably where his love for food comes from, he’ll be blessed with assets abroad from his homeland. He could look really similar to what he did in the past life I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a bunny or something.

ꪔ̤̥ That’s it for now till next time❤️ check back for updates

[mysicklove-main]

𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐇𝐂𝐬

With: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Mina Ashido, and Ochako Uraraka

A/N: Different types of drunks are so funny to me. I love watching some ppls personalities just doing a 180, its always so amusing to me. I also might write one for demon slayer characters, I was on the fence about mha or kny. lmk if i should do it for my other loves :)

𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀

Light Weight/Sloppy Drunk

Light. Weight. I mean everyone know it, after one drink his cheeks are flushed and he is grinning like a mad man.

His former classmates love to just offer him drink after drink, just to see him get wasted.

Sloppy drunk. Im sorry, but he is. Slurring his words, hiccuping, stumbling everywhere. 

He always ends up falling somehow, you find him laughing on the floor with people crowding over him trying to help him up.

Talks to everyone he can find. Literally they cant even understand what he is saying because he is slurring his words and rambling about everything.

”Im not drunk, Y/N! You're drunk!” As he is on the floor, refusing to grab onto your hands to help him up. He's so stubborn.

He always ends up vomiting. 

You basically have to pour water down his throat to sober him up.

He refuses to go out the next couple of days cause he is so embarrassed of his actions.

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎𝐔

Silent/Clingy Drunk

His usual scowl disappears, and for once in his life he looks…relaxed?

Just watches his friends do stupid things without any yelling.

Seems to scout for you the second you leave his sight.

Lots of mumbling under his breathe that nobody hears.

Sticks with you most of the time. Only talking when someone talks to him, but even so he gives one word responses.

You only know that he is drunk because of his flushed appearance and slight smile. Its so rare to see him smile in front of people.

Mumbles compliments in your ear, and plays with the hems of your outfit.

Holds your hand the entire night and follows you around.

Randomly will disappear and come back with another round of drinks for the table. Instantly becomes everyones favorite drunk.

Yells at everyone the next day if the mention anything about him being “soft”

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈

Relaxed/Smiling Drunk

Its rare to see Shoto give a full smile, but after a couple of shots he just can't stop grinning.

Is surprisingly much more talkative and friendly towards his ex-classmates.

But the second he finds somewhere to sit, he is stationed there for the rest of the night.

He acts more high than drunk istg

Just sits back and smiles, laughing at everything that comes out his friends mouth.

Its so cute though, because he gets so excited when talking to you.

He def slurs his words but you cant even tease him because he looks like he is having the time of his life.

One of those drunks that finds out they have a random special talent. Like have u seen that video of the drunk dude that finds out he is fantastic at piano?? Thats shoto.

Laughs at his self when he tries to walk in a straight line. “Look Y/N. I cant walk straight!” You just have to go along with it

Doesn't get hungover at all! But also doesn't remember anything lol

𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀

Crying/Emotional Drunk

Something about it just gets him so emotional. He doesn't even know why.

He drinks and cries, drinks and cries, until you have to drag him home.

Most of the time he is crying about like the least important things like how good you look right now or how crazy it is that he is dating someone like you.

Other times he tries to go all “meaning of life” on everyone. It throws everyone the fuck off and you always have to try to get him back into the moment. Its so funny tho 

When he bumps into someone, he apologizes so much it makes the other person feels uncomfortable.

Will randomly go silent and then start crying again. The bartender always looks so concerned. 

You have to bring him home early bc he just ruins the vibe. he is not allowed to drink when you guys are tying to relax and enjoy the moment.

Sober him is way more fun lmaooo

𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈

Flirty/Touchy Feely Drunk

Are you surprised? 

Its like every single pickup line is blurted out no matter the moment.

You'll be in the middle of a conversation and all of the sudden you hear some bullshit like. “Hey baby, are you from Tennessee?” “Denki dont.” “Cause youre the only ten I see” scares off every single girl you were talking to.

Tries to get you to do lewd ass dancing with him and acts like you killed him when you decline.

Hand on your waist, or thigh, or neck, or ass if you dont slap him away. Genuine pervert.

You catch him flirting with Bakugou once and you got so much second hand embarrassment from the way the blonde just stared at him in disgust.

Tries to unbutton his shirt, and about every ten minutes you have to rebutton it for him. “What, you cant handle all of this?” You almost kill him.

Overall, at least he is a partier and you know youll have fun with him.

Gets HORRIBLE hangovers tho. You are stuck taking care of him the next day (again)

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐎

Affectionate/Friendly Drunk

Makes friends with every single person she sees.

The drunk girls you see in the bathroom that hypes you up? Thats her.

Especially if you are her partner?? God damn she compliments you so much.

Ends up helping the DJ chose songs when you guys go to clubs. Seriously it is so funny how she ends up talking to everyone.

So much dancing. So so much dancing. Even if its just the two of you, you guys are dancing.

But also mom too, like makes sure everyone has water and isnt getting too fucked up (izuku). Keeps everyone a their best.

You stumble over, she catches you with the biggest smile on her face. Wont even tease you, just continues to make the vibes just absolutely great.

Holds her alcohol perfectly. Enough to get crazy, but she isnt stumbling nor slurring her words.

I just want to go clubbing with her.

𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐎 𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐀

Angry/Fight Picker Drunk

This seems like a shocker. What precious ochako getting mad at people???

Yes. She picks fights.

ALWAYS with dudes that her twice her size too. Be prepared to fight istg.

Yells at people who are too drunk (Izuku) and tells them to get their shit togehter. You have to use your hand to cover her mouth before she gets kicked out.

So many curse words. So many.

Literally gets approached by nobody because she has the biggest frown on her face. 

You have to try to ease her up by dancing with her or showering her with compliments.

Cheers her up for a bit, and she goes back to all smiley and happy, but then someone interrupts the two of you, and she goes back to being pissed.

You have to watch her 24/7.

She doesnt drink that much anymore because she knows how she gets lol

[justash02]

Womanizer; 07

A/n; lemme know if you have feedback! It’s always welcome! So are Requests! Text me! I’m nice:> THIS IS BEN, CLAIR AND ADAM BTW^^

Plot; Everyone who knew who Tom Kaulitz was knew that he was girl crazy, he's very well known for having girls around him all the time.

Pairing; Tom Kaulitz x fem reader.

Previous chapter -> next chapter.

Master list

Taglist<3

Ps; I was so high while writing this hope it’s good at least lol

*^*^*

The night went on pretty smoothly, Bill stuck by Clair and my side for the night as did the rest of the boys.

Tom on the other hand was nowhere to be found, at one point I asked if he even came along and Bill thinks he might have just gone home.

Adam and Ben were also nowhere to be found but I really couldn't care less.

"Yeah do you remember when Tom was asked to be in the shot with Y/n and Adam just complete lost his shit?" Clair said laughing drunkenly hitting Gustavs arm.

"Babe he wasn't there." I laughed as she corrected herself by turned to the black haired boy.

"Yup, 'Can't believe that little shits gonna be with my Y/n!'." Bill mimicked, "Can't believe he gets to hit it before I do!" Clair said in the same tone.

I couldn't help but feel the alcohol hit as I started laughing uncontrollably, "No way he said that." I blurred out before throwing another shot back.

"Very close to it tho, homie wants to hit it." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "If he has feelings for me he can come to me and stop being such a bitch about it." I said.

"Who has feelings for you?" I heard a familiar voice say, my head shot to the side to see the boy that I was kissing so nicely a few weeks ago. Fuck he was looking so good.

"Hey Tom, we thought you left." Georg said as Tom plopped down on the couch. He put his hand over his crotch and leaned back into the couch. I couldn't help but let my eyes flicker over to the placement as I felt my thighs heat up.

"Nah, was getting sucked by some girl." He said carelessly, "Bitch kept biting my dick though." He said chuckling. Georg shook his head but still gave him a fist bump to feed Toms ego.

"Probably deserved it." I said boldly, Clair looked over at me with slightly widened eyes as she let out a giggle.

Tom looked over at me, he leaned closer and placed his hand on my thigh, he gently rubbed the skin before leaning closer to my ear, whispered; "I was imagining it was you"

Current state?; deceased.

Before I could say anything someone familiar approached the table, "Yo!" Ben yelled loudly over the music as he sat on the couch next to Georg.

"Where's Adam?" Clair asked taking a slip from her drink, I didn't fail to notice that Tom's hand was still on my thigh but now it didn't feel... sexual.

It feel more as a comfort.

"He said he was gonna go home with some girl." Ben said taking a slip from Clair's drink without even asking making Clair roll her eyes before snatching it back.

"Oh? Dry dick getting some pussy?" Tom said surprised making me hit his arm with my free hand, "What?" He asking with a smirk.

I just shook my head, laughing a bit. “Can we dip? I’m so tired.” Clair complained leaning against Bens shoulder. I nodded went to stand up, “Wait we can’t go.” Ben said quickly stopping us in our tracks.

“Adam has the car.” Tom groaned loudly behind us, “Such a dumbass that dude.”

“Can’t we call him?” Clair asked blurring out from the alcohol she has consumed till this point. “Nah we’ll be traumatized for life. I don’t wanna see our leader fucking some girl.” Ben said shaken his head violently.

“We can bring you guys home.” Tom suggested standing next to his twin now, “Yeah but Y/n and Adam share a room.” Clair pointed out.

“Why don’t you guys come to our house?” I looked over my two band members looking for their input, “I’m fine with it.” Ben said smiling at the others.

“Never would I have thought I would have a sleepover with Tokio Hotel.” I said chuckling grabbing my bag from the couch, “Lucky you.” Tom said winking at me.

I laughed waiting for the rest to grab their stuff and walked over to the cars Tokio Hotel bought with them.

And indeed Adam did take our car, “Why did you even give him your keys, Ben?” Ben shrugged his shoulders, “Like Tom said, his dry dick needs some pussy.” Tom give him a “bro” hug.

“I like this dude, he gets me.” I couldn’t help but grab onto Clair for support, “I think you drank too much babe.” She softly spoke, gently pushing some hair out of my face.

“You two look cute together.” I heard Bill say, “Do you go both ways Y/n?” I heard Georg ask me curiously as he opened the car door for us, “As long I fall in love with them, gender doesn’t matter anymore to.”

He nodded and went over to grab me from Clair but Tom quickly pushed him away from me, Tom’s hand quickly went over to my waist and slowly guided me in the car.

“Do you have some blankets in here tommy?” I asked wrapping my arms around myself trying to keep myself warm. He shook his head, he seemed to think for a second before throwing his jacket off and laid it over my shoulders.

“Is that better?” He asked grabbing the seatbelt in his hand, I nodded before grabbing the seatbelt from him, “I luckily can still do that.” He nodded, waiting for me to be done. As soon as I was he nodded his head once again before smiling at me. He walked over to the drivers side.

“We’ll be there in a few minutes.” Georg said as Tom and bill started driving in the other car.

And Georg wasn’t joking when he said we would be there soon, blame it on my drunken state but I definitely didn’t notice sitting in that car for more then a minute.

Bill and Tom both parked in their garage and helped us out, I stopped in my track making Tom look at me confused.

“Feels like we should at least tell him where we are…” Tom tilted his head before holding out his hand for my phone.

“Lemme text him.” Too tired to disagree with the boy, I handed my phone over to him and boldly put my arms around his waist making him smirk a bit, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders before tapping around on my phone.

After a few seconds the boy handed me my phone back to let me read what he said;

“Adam, we are at Tom’s if you need us.” I send send not really caring and looked up at Tom making him grin back a bit.

“Want to sleep in my bed?”

“Are you going to be in it?”

*^*^*

Taglist; @oh-kurva @ajaxisbae @mycherry-melody @erensslut @ladyofladies @just-a-gay-loser420 @woodandwaxwings @hazashiovo @jay14344

(If I didn’t tag you I couldn’t find you’re tag!)

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

I wonder if in the next Christmas special we could see Branch trying to hide his old hermit days from his brothers while planning the perfect family Christmas.

so maybe we see over the course of the next Christmas special Bro zone coming to Pop Village to spend this first Christmas together.

and Branch goes to great lengths to try and hide details of his past from them and just gets too over focused on making sure the Christmas is perfect and has no problems.

like maybe Branch is ashamed or even afraid of being judged as some sorta freak like a lot of the village thought of him as for all those years.

so when the Brothers insist on seeing his home while their in the village he panics and pretty much changes everything about it to make it appear more Troll like.

probably adding lots of bright colours and bright flowers and maybe even stuff like discarded wrappers to imply that he throws parties there often just like everyone else in the village does.

and of course hiding all of his own stuff like the rations and the weapons and maybe painting over the crazy wall writings he had.

and maybe as he's showing them around the village he gets some harsh stares and attitudes from certain people and his brothers question him on why these people would be mad at him.

and Branch thinks back to all the special occasions he ruined for people when he kept warning them about the Bergens only for them to be false alarms.

but Branch just nervously tells his bros he can't remember and awkwardly rushes them along on the tour 😂😂😂😂

just so he can make things appear more normal and perfect for their first family Christmas back together maybe even actively changing the subject whenever the brothers try and ask about his life during the past 20+ years.

but Branch trying to make everything perfect ironically gets to the point where the Brothers get annoyed with him since he was acting pretty similar to how JD used to.

and they finally question him on his odd behaviour although they kinda already know the reason why he's been so desperate for things to be perfect.

but they are still fairly clueless and worried about what he's obviously trying to hide from them in regards to his home and the fact he won't talk much about his life.

and this time when Branch nervously tries to shrug it off they act a bit firmer towards him saying they need to talk about this now as they've kept putting it off.

and when he tries to downplay it maybe just saying something as simple as he was obviously a bit upset and went Grey for a little while but he moved on and lived pretty normally for most of the years afterwards.

but the brothers don't buy it and they point out multiple things they found around the Bunker like weapons and traps and maybe they even uncovered the crazy wall writings he tried to hide.

( plus Gary if we're allowed to include him in this cannon lol )

anyway after all this poking and prodding Branch finally goes off on a bit of an emotional tangent maybe saying something along the lines of "" fine what do you want to hear? that I was some Grey freak who hid underground for years that everyone saw me as some crazy person who ruined everything for everyone else that I practically spent every moment of everyday thinking about nothing but the Bergens and fearing they could come back at any moment well fine you win you happy now? happy I grew up to be some freak who's always going to stand out from everyone else because no matter how much I change people around here are always going to remember and even if they didn't all they'd have to do is look at me and they'd know ""

maybe he says all this and turns away looking down in shame with slightly teary eyes but his bros just Hug him rather than Judge him like he maybe feared.

yep good old angst 😅😅😅😅 tho I'm not exactly 100 percent sure how to end the story but anyway what do you think about this as a concept for a future special?

[smilesrobotlover]

I cant take this anymore. Take him. I don’t have a name for him nor for the others but I love them all. I’ve explained a bit for Age’s dad’s personality and his story. I’m gonna talk about a certain battle from AOC so spoiler warning for that. It’s not connected to the story at all but just in case

There’s this battle called “a Knight’s nightmare” or something like that, and you basically have to go rescue Link who is trapped in a small area completely surrounded by guardians. It’s actually a quite challenging battle if you’re unaware of what’s happening cuz Link’s health goes down VERY quickly. It’s a sad battle really cuz it’s implied that Link is terrified of guardians and being surrounded by them, and in botw, that’s essentially how he died. Anyways I miiiight have this battle happen with his dad involved, but it gets so bad that his dad ends up losing his arm. This is after the calamity, but he loses his ranking and is pushed to retire, living in Hateno with his wife and daughter again. He doesn’t have that much time to be with Link unfortunately since Link is doing heroic work, but at least he can see his daughter more often.

His dad is a very positive man, a guy who tried to be positive even when things are bad. He’s a glass half full kinda guy, but losing his arm was very hard on him since he is an active person and gets stir crazy really easily. Out of stubbornness he does learn how to do most of his activities with just one arm. He shield surfs at mount Hylia a lot, learned how to use his sword with one arm, and a whole lot other things. It helped with him being forced to stay home, but he does miss the traveling and the action. Tho he’s just happy to spend time with his family, he only wishes that Link could be there more often.

He was also close with the other bodyguard of the king. There were two in AOC who were with Rhoam all the time tho I don’t remember what they look like lol, but I think he grew close with his partner. I’m sure he misses the talks they used to have. Rhoam is a very strict and serious man so I doubt he was super close with the king, but he was close enough to have some pleasant conversations. But the looming calamity stifled a lot of friendly conversations

Also when I was designing him, I always had Leon’s facial hair in my mind, so you know that Linebeck is gonna confuse the two of them SO much. The biggest difference tho is that they’re almost a foot apart in height (Leon is almost 6’ while this guy is around 5’-5’2) I guess the missing arm and chipped ear are good differences as well lol

Sorry for the rambling it is late and I can’t stand not rambling at times so take this dbsksbksb

[composeregg]

wanted to join in on that meta post by saying yeah, even if we view joker’s and akechi’s relationship as special compared to the others, akechi is still written under the constraints of p5, and an antagonist to boot. like. vanilla had his confidant as automatic bc (iirc) they thought they couldn’t fit it in properly! which is crazy, even tho the automatic rank ups have an interesting implication (such as, akechi will always be rank 10 by the end no matter what you do). i understand that ppl probably wanted someone to talk sense into the thieves for their unwittingly callous actions, but not by the guy who decided to go thru with his 11/20 plan lol

(this post)

YEAH like, I love Akechi. I adore him. But I have SO many OPINIONS about this mans. like. I'm not going berate anyone for how they write characters, that's the freedom of fandom, but I am going to stand over here with my opinions and contrary thoughts and chitchat about them in my space

I know that very often it is because people want someone to refute what canon has shown us (because canon's writing disagrees with it's desired goals as mentioned in that post). They want someone to go "Look at Joker, look at what's happened to him, don't you care? How risky this was?"

But okay I'm actually going to back up a bit!

(this got long)

What other choice was there for 11/20?

Because the answer is not "they could have taken Akechi in a fight."

The goals of the interrogation room/metaverse plan:

Escape with Joker alive

Trick Shido and the conspiracy into believing Joker has died

and you know? you know? you cannot do that latter bullet point if you just beat up Akechi

So enlighten me. How, exactly, were the thieves supposed to come up with a different plan in under 20 days? One where Joker would live, where the conspiracy would believe he had died, and importantly, one that at that point in time cannot count on Akechi being a turncoat. They have no reason to trust that he would

"Don't you care about how risky this was? There had to have been other ways."

We don't get Shido's name as Akechi's employer here until after the phonecall reporting the death, I believe. They cannot change Shido's heart in time to avert this because they do not have the information. The interrogation room plan, genuinely, was one of the smartest ideas they had. It accomplished exactly what they needed to. These are teens in a life-or-death situation, who notoriously have MANY trust issues with adults for good reason, especially since society is so corrupt that a hitman can easily walk into a police department and assassinate a high-profile criminal and get away with it with help (remember the guard at the door?) The other options are basically "change your identity and flee the country" or "literally actually die" lets be real here!

SO

Akechi, let's be honest with ourselves here, would primarily be pissed off that the thieves got one over on him! And if he is concerned about the lasting trauma of it all, or how risky the plan was, he is seeing this and approaching it from the angle of knowing it worked.

(Better options for sense-talking: Sojiro! Sojiro is right there! Takemi! Iwai! Kawakami! Yoshida! All important responsible adult figures to Joker and at least some of the thieves.)

In my opinion if Akechi wants to snark at the thieves about the plan in any way regarding how much it fucks up Joker and how it was risky, they are more than allowed to fire back shots at him for making it necessary and shooting Joker in the head in the first place.

I think people often use it as a shorthand, to show that Akechi cares about Joker, but also as a way to emphasize the importance of Akechi to Joker (compared to the rest of the thieves). It's easier to ignore the fact that he killed two of the thieves's parents when it comes to Joker being in a relationship with him, as long as it can be shown that he's the one that really cares. That he wouldn't put Joker through something so fucked up with his care (hilarious, laughable, he shot Joker in the head). It separates "Akechi and Joker" from all the phantom thieves in a way.

(Honestly sometimes it feels like ship bashing/character bashing but for ALL the phantom thieves with how intensely some people write it! beyond even the point of exploring Atlus fucking up characterization to pretend to have a blank slate silent protag)

BUT like I said in the post, it also points out a major flaw with convincing players that the rest of the thieves DO care in the game. Because the thieves are never really given a chance to show that. It's implied, and it's clear the game wants you to believe they care, but we don't get scenes addressing specific stuff like this enough.

Joker is confident, and cocky, we see that with that bastard smile in the interrogation room after getting "shot" in those cutscenes. It is genuinely a plan to be proud of, and it hails back to his original persona being Arsène. Arsène, who escaped from prison simply by disguising himself and pretending he had already escaped and put a body double in his place. Arsène, who pulled off a robbery while in jail. Arrogant and self-assured and cocky, the interrogation room plan is genuinely something the likes that would be worthy of Arsène's name.

He can be proud of the plan, and also traumatized by it. But he actively agreed to this plan, probably helped come up with it (where does everyone get the idea that it was Makoto's plan? genuine question). Joker is not a hapless victim of other's whims, he also had agency. So many of the parallels between Joker and Akechi are how they exercise what agency they have while being stripped of traditional power and victimized by society.

Honestly? Honestly? In my personal opinion, having Akechi berate the thieves for the plan is disrespectful to his rivalry with Joker, along with his own characterization.

He holds Joker as his equal. Equal in agency, in skill. If he looks at Joker and says, "why would you go along with such a foolish plan?" if he looks at the thieves and says "why would you ever put your precious leader through this?" he is taking away Joker's agency and choices. One of Akechi's focal points is agency. If he sees Joker as equal in this, and he denies Joker his agency, he is also taking it away from himself.

Akechi's cocktail of emotions regarding the assassination can manifest in so many different ways, and he can translate that to anger at the thieves rather than himself for putting Joker through that, but that would be his emotions regarding himself being misdirected more than anything.

Akechi has too much respect for Joker to deny Joker his agency in a plan that was good enough to fool him.

Respecting agency and admiring a brilliantly crafted plan also doesn't mean ignoring trauma that ocurred from actions taken under duress.

(At least, it doesn't mean that as long as you're not Atlus)

[iapislazuli]

nightheart, finchlight, and pre-verbal trauma

(sorry, i ramble a bit here lol)

im surprised i havent seen any discussion or analyses on nightheart / finchlight and pre-verbal trauma, since that's like, exactly what happened to them? (And nipping this in the bud right away no, I'm not saying this is Sparkpelt's fault btw, she was suffering from grief and PPD, and she made the best posible choice by having sorrelstripe foster her kits! for her situation, she was the best parent she could've been). but finch and night were so young, they couldn't understand what was happening. they were newborn kittens who couldnt see or hear, the only thing they knew was their mother's scent, and they got taken away from her, and thrust into a new space wholly unfamiliar to them with no warning. yes, it was for a good reason, and yes in the long run it likely benefitted their health physically. and yes, it was for a comparatively short amount of time, too. but them experiencing that at such a young age, having all they've ever known taken from them when they can't even open their eyes yet is, well, traumatic! young children experience the world so much differently than teenagers and adults. everything happening to them is basically happening for the first time. how did they knew sparkpelt would come back? they didn't! they had no way to understand the idea of PPD and grief. the effects of pre-verbal trauma sticks with you for life even if you can't remember it. this is such a huge misconception about child psychology it makes me crazy. a baby being so young it can't talk doesn't mean it doesnt have feelings!! and this leads to my next point...

which is how the differences in their adolescences led to their abilities to cope with this trauma being different. pre-verbal trauma causes abandonment issues and trouble regulating emotions among other symptoms; something nightheart very obviously struggled with. but what about his sister? finchlight is seemingly way more well-adjusted. this is likely because she chose to follow her mother to exile. wether knowingly or not, she didn't reinforce the abandonment issues caused by her pre-verbal trauma, which led to her being a more well adjusted adult with less glaringly obvious emotional issues. it could have also caused her to become unhealthily clingy to her mother, leading her trauma to manifest in a different way. maybe she also has empathy issues, not understanding why her brother cant just "get over it" like she did (she didn't just get over it tho, lol, she's just coping in a different way). there's lots of room for interpretation with finchlight, i think. while the authors' choice to apply this experience only to nightheart is frustratingly arbitrary and follows warrior cats' very protagnist-centric narratives, i do believe that following an analysis based on the idea of pre-verbal trauma and finchlight's choice to follow her mother into exile, you can explain why these two siblings reacted to the same situation so different. and i think looking to it that way, it's pretty damn interesting!!

[delulu4anime]

Pairings: Illumi x fem!reader

Word count: 5.2k+

Warnings: Breeding (Lol it’s Illumi, it would be against the law not to add a breeding kink), mating press, PIV, slow burn, brief mentions of death (Illumi eventually shows you his crazy side), time skips. Please let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FOR THE LOVE OF HADES. I started rewatching hunter x hunter and I forgot how much I adore Illumi. This man has me on my knees so quickly even tho he is TOXIC. Stayed up till 8 am writing this story about this sexy bug eyed man cause he deserves it. Yet another fan fiction where I listened to a song and went oh shit it’s this character. Not proof read. Enjoy!

Currently listening to: In the Middle of the night by Ellen Duhé- “I’m getting what is mine, you gon get yours.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You took a deep breath as you stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. The bags under your eyes indicated that you had gone a few days with little to no sleep. You couldn't remember the last time you got a good nights rest especially with the impending occasion coming up. There was a light knock at the door and with the turn of the knob your door was opened. Your mother cheerfully walked into the bathroom all dressed up for tonight's dinner. Your eyes drifted to your room which had been disturbed with the evening sunlight pouring, curtains you could've sworn were closed before you dragged yourself in here.

"Darling you really should open those curtains more often. It feels like a morgue every time I come in here," She huffed out.

Ah, so she took it upon herself to open them.

"I brought the necklace I wore on the night of my engagement dinner." She said turning her attention to the dark blue velvet box, setting it gently on the counter.

She quickly frowned upon seeing the state you were in.

"Why haven't you gotten ready yet? You don't look at all delighted; you know how important this dinner is tonight! We've waited twenty years for-"

"I know mother." You quickly said trying to save yourself from the lecture that would no doubt make your family late to the dinner if she rambled on.

You met her strict gaze in the mirror and mumbled an apology as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Her face softened as she walked over to you; her hands finding their way to your shoulders.

"Please try to understand this will make both our families stronger. You were practically raised as a Zoldyck, but we need it to be official." Your mother said as you looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"I grew and trained with Milluki," You said as you shrugged her hands off your shoulders. "Shouldn't I be marrying him instead? I know nothing about Illumi."

You watched in the reflection the way your mother rolled her eyes clearly displeased with your response.

"You are well aware of our agreement that the eldest daughter goes to the eldest Zoldyck son. Honestly darling you act as if this is the end of the world? Your father and I knew nothing about one another and we turned out just fine. Now please get ready, we wouldn't want to keep your husband to be waiting anymore than he already has!" She exclaimed as she made her way out of the bathroom.

You knew that your parents had an arranged marriage like their parents before them. You've lost count of the times your mother would tell you stories about how your father wasn't who she chose to marry but that didn't mean that he didn't eventually become the love of her life. They built an entire life together which lead to the successful artillery business they ran and you. You knew the ties your family had with the Zoldyck's had been strictly business but now that you were of age it meant that bond would be taken from business to family. No matter what your parents told you this was nothing but another business deal to you.

You hadn't always dreaded being married to the oldest of the famous assassins. In fact you recall on several occasions Milluki teasing you for getting lost in thought and scribbling Illumi's name over and over again when you should've been studying up on jobs you'd taken on. However, despite training day and night with Milluki for years you had only laid your eyes on Illumi twice. You were around nine years old when you saw him for the first time. You and Milluki were were practicing ren when Illumi came home from a successful training mission at Heaven's Arena.

You couldn't take your eyes off the way he moved so effortlessly; you punched Milluki for teasing you for staring at his brother for longer than needed. The second time you finally came face to face with Illumi at the age of thirteen. You had learned you were a transmitter with your speciality being in poisons. Although you had successful learned how to use nen Silva knew you had a long way to go before you'd be able to use it flawlessly. He wanted to teach you the important lesson on when to back down from an opponent where success wasn't guaranteed.

You knew Illumi was stronger than you and Milluki combined but you refused to let him believe you were weak. After all you had been training day and night with all the toxins you could get your hands on. You cringed at the memory of Illumi looking down at your defeated body, you groaned as you held onto your side only to look up to meet his emotionless eyes.

"This is all you've been able to accomplish? You are the weakest out of us all. You won't be much use to me when we marry. Train harder or I'll kill you." He said flatly as you watched him turn to walk away not missing the way your heart skipped a beat.

You made a promise to yourself then to get stronger even though you didn't have much of a choice. Not only would you be a disgrace to your family but you'd pay for it with your life. Now at the age of twenty it had been seven years since you had seen Illumi and you dreaded it. You didn't trust your mind or your body around him; all logically thinking out the window when he was near. Although you'd gotten stronger and the training you completed with Mulluki had paid off part of you felt you'd never be enough for Illumi.

Not smart enough.

Not strong enough.

Not pretty enough.

You rolled your eyes knowing you were stalling at this point because this engagement was going to happen whether you liked it or not. And with that you started to get ready for the dinner with your future husband and family in law. Once you showered you wrapped a towel around yourself, walking back to your mirror to quickly do your makeup and hair. You carefully put on your black octavia dress, making sure not to ruin your work. You opened the box your mother had left behind and ran your fingertips over the smooth texture of the pearls. You removed the necklace and put it on yourself. The cool pearls making contact with your warm skin caused you to shiver.

Here goes nothing.

The flight to Kukuroo Mountain was about an hour long; you stared out the window as your parent's reminded you to be on your best behavior as if you were a child. You knew what the Zoldyck's expected of you so you chose to nod every once in a while as if you are paying attention, to give your parents the peace of mind. Before you knew it you had arrived to the testing gate and passed through it with ease. You reached your hand out to pet Mike as he bent down to receive your affection. You and your parents made your way up to the butlers quarters where they escorted you to the Zoldyck mansion. The memories seemed to flood back once you set foot inside. From all the times you ran up and down the halls playing hide and seek with Killua to nagging Milluki to get out of his room for once and train with you. You couldn't help but genuinely smile as you passed by the many portraits of the Zolydck family on the way to the banquet hall. Your parents pointing out the few paintings you were in when you were younger, voicing their joy about how tonight would officially make you apart of the family. As tradition you were seated at the end of the elegant dinning table; you ran your fingertips over the fine wood as you looked to see those around you. Your parents sat to the left of you while the Zoldyck's sat at the right. You sheepishly waved at Milluki who scoffed at you and looked else where. You couldn't help but pout at your childhood friend. Silvia took notice and leaned closer to you.

"He envy's Illumi." He said.

You paused for a moment then looked back at Milluki with wide eyes. Jealous of Illumi? For being engaged to you? You shook your head at the thought of the hidden feelings Milluki had for you.

"He shouldn't." You mumble as you look over to the empty seat next to you.

"Of all the day's to be late!" Kikyo hissed.

The butlers began bringing out courses of the meal out. You were able to start eating when you felt a presence causing you to look to your left towards a door leading into the banquet hall. That's when you saw him. You felt yourself exhale a shaky breath as he made his way over to you. His hair was much longer than the last time you had seen him, he'd gotten taller, and more toned. Yet his dark eyes remained the same and they watched you just as closely.

"Y/n." Illumi spoke as he took his place next to you.

You were at a lost for words as Kikyo chimed in.

"You're late! You left your bride to be waiting!" She exclaimed only to cause Silva to raise his hand to calm his wife down.

Silvia suddenly rose from his seat and cleared his throat. He had prepared a speech about the agreement of a proposal to the two oldest of each family. Illumi stood at one point as his father continued on; he grabbed your hand which caught you off guard. You felt Illumi's cold fingertips slowly slide a sliver band on to your ring finger. You gazed up at Illumi as he held on to your hand a little longer before letting go and returning to his seat. You were going to officially be a Zoldyck. The rest of the evening was filled with your parents talking with the Zoldyck's about planning the wedding and future business deals. But once your mother uttered the word grandchild you couldn't help but start choking on the glass of water you had been drinking. Everyone turned their gaze to you as you coughed; Illumi wrapped his arms around you and helped you stand.

"Excuse us." He said as you both walked out of the banquet hall.

You managed to calm yourself down once you were away from the judgmental stare your parents were giving you.

"I'm fine Illumi," You said as you realized you were still walking so closely to one another. "Really I am. We can go back." You said as you broke out of Illumi’s grasp.

"Would you not like to take a walk with me?" He suddenly said.

"Sure." You finally said after hesitating for a moment.

You walked in silence down the hall and out a door that led you into the courtyard. You took a deep breath of fresh air and slowly exhaled. You looked up at the night sky that glistened with millions of stars. You both stayed silent as the creatures of dusk seemed to come to life; chirping and croaking around you.

"May I ask you something?" Illumi finally said.

"Of course." You said.

"Are you uncomfortable around me?" He asked which made you look over at him.

"Well," You hesitated as you started to fiddle with your ring. "It's been seven years since the last time I saw you Illumi. We haven't spoke much these past few years and you just slide a ring on my finger just an hour ago signifying that we are to be married."

He looked over at you and cocked his head to the side.

"It isn't a surprise to you is it? We've been arranged to get married since you were born." He said plainly as if he were talking about the weather or what he had for breakfast.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that it all happened so fast," You bite your lip knowing you couldn't hold back what you had been wanting to say since you saw him this evening "It's nice to see you again Illumi."

He hummed and stepped closer to you; his fingertips brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

"You've grown up." He said, rubbing his hand lightly against your cheek. "You're quite beautiful and not nearly as annoying as you used to be."

You groaned and pushed his hand away from you as if he was nuisance yet your face heating up said otherwise.

"Way to ruin the moment." You huffed out.

"I can tell you've gotten stronger as well." He said and you nodded your head.

"I've been training hard. There's no shortage of poisonous plants to learn from." You said.

Silence fell between you again yet this time it wasn't uncomfortable. You felt yourself relax as the tension slowly slip away.

"You're more sure of yourself now." He said abruptly.

You paused to think back to all the long training sessions you endured, the painful limits you pushed your body to, and the long nights you'd longed to see Illumi and prove to him that you weren't the weakest.

"I just want to be a good wife for you." You said. "This may be an arranged marriage but I hope along the way you can see me as more than a business deal."

You watch as Illumi picked up your left hand and place a soft kiss onto the silver ring he had placed on your hand earlier. His warm lips were a significant contrast to his cold fingers that held onto your hand. You let go of a breath you didn't even know you were holding watching how gentle he was being with you.

"I've waited for so long to see this ring on your finger. You'll make a fine wife." Illumi said softly.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It had been a month since the engagement became official and you felt like it was all just a fever dream. You hadn't seen Illumi since the night of the dinner and you couldn't help that sinking feeling that had followed you for so many years; was he distancing himself from you again? You couldn't even get your mind off things because the mother's on both sides insisted that the wedding happen immediately. Which also meant your mother forbidding you for taking on any jobs to help with planning; the lack of work and his absence caused your mind to stir. You were in your old room at the Zoldyck mansion, gazing at your reflection as a few maids fixed the long train of the dress your mother surprised you with. You nervously played with the ring on your finger as your eyes traveled to the intricate pattern in the lace, there was something so familiar about the dress but you couldn't exactly pin point what. Your eyes traveled to the tall window that was in the corner of the room where your mother and Kikyo sat at a small table drinking tea. The same table you sat at countless nights looking out into the courtyard yearning for Illumi to come home to you. The maids stepped to the side as you turned to face them, you placing your arms behind your back. You watched as your mother's eyes watered as she stood from her chair and made her way to you.

"What do you think my dear?" Kikyo smiling before taking a sip of her tea.

"It's beautiful." You say as you brought your hands to your sides to run your fingertips over the fabric.

"This use to be my dress,' Your mother said as she grabbed hold of your hands. "And it fits you wonderfully!"

You turned to look at yourself in the mirror once again feeling like a fool for not recognize the dress immediately. Your mother had shown you endless photos of her wedding day and the dress was the focal point of every photo.

"This means so much to me. Thank you mother." You said and smiled at her reflection in the mirror.

"I have a gift for you too my dear." Kikyo said as she made her way over to you.

You turned to see her holding a beautiful silver necklace with a small blue gem dangling from the center. You leaned down as Kikyo placed it around your neck.

"I wore this on my wedding day. A good luck charge from your mother and I." She said as she stood back with your mother to admire you.

You ran your finger tips over the necklace and smiled.

"This is perfect. Thank you both." You said.

The next few hours were spent sitting at the table listening to the two women bicker on who to invite to the wedding of the century they called it. You rolled your eyes and looked over to your door as you watched Milluki walk down the hall looking down at his phone. You excused yourself from the table which was useless because they were both stuck in their own world of wedding planning. You quickly made your way out of the room and chased after Milluki down the hall.

"Hey Luki wait up!" You shouted after him which only caused him to turn around quickly. The irritated look you knew all too well.

"I said stop calling me that stupid nickname." He sneered as he looked down at his phone once again.

You couldn't help but giggle as you followed him into his room. You leaned against the doorway as you watched him walk over to his desk; your eyes widening at the amount of computers that were turned on, each with something different flashing on each screen.

"So what have you been up to?" You ask as you walked over as you looked over at his figurine collection.

"Killua is asking for a favor," He grumbled as he looked up to one of his monitors. "He needs a copy of Greed Island."

"The rare video game?" You questioned as you looked over his shoulder to the screen which caused him to chuckle.

"Papa always said you were too smart for your own good." He said as he looked over his shoulder.

"Smarter than you for sure." You teased.

"Shut up!' He yelled as he turned back to his computer typing away vigorously.

The only thing that filled the room was Milluki's fingertips against his keyboard as he looked into getting more information on the legendary Greed Island for his younger brother. You had wondered what Killua had been up to since leaving to go take the hunter exam; you hadn't been around when he lashed out Milluki and Kiyko but you couldn't help the chuckle you let out when you found out. Being under the same pressure from your families it was inevitable for you and Killua to become close.

"You don't seem too thrilled to be getting married." Milluki suddenly said bringing you out of your thoughts.

"What makes you say that?" You say flatly.

"Your eyes don't light up the same way they use to when anyone mentioned Illumi." He replied, looking between two monitors.

"It's just a lot to take in," You sigh out. "I went from being a kid learning how to become an assassin like the Zoldyck's to becoming an actually Zoldyck by marriage.   It's hard being in love with someone sees this as nothing more than a business deal"

Milluki stopped typing to turn to face you again; that irritated looking back in his face.

"You really are stupid aren't you? He may have never said it when you were around but he's made several remarks about you to me. It sickening how he only seems to care about his jobs and you." He turned his chair completely around.

You couldn't help but laugh at the confession, searching in his eyes for the truth. Your smile faded as he stared right back at you and you knew that look all too well.

"Now get out cause I have work to do." He said as he turned back to his work and dismissed you with a wave of his hand.

You hesitated only for a moment then walked out of his room; you turned and looked to see Milluki talking on his phone to Killua if you had to guess.

"Thank you Luki." You whisper to yourself and with that you took your leave.

Before you knew it the evening turned into night fall and Kikyo was pleading for you to stay, trying to reassure you that Illumi would be back soon. You agreed thinking back to what Milluki had said earlier. After saying your goodbyes to your mother you returned to your room to find the maids making your bed and bringing a few of your belongings you had left here when you traveled between your home and the Zoldyck's. You thanked the maids as they bowed and left the room. You let out a long sigh as you threw yourself onto the bed as you listened to the clock on the wall tick away the minutes wondering when Illumi would be home; your hand brushed over the fabric of your t-shirt around your stomach as the butterflies seemed to dance around gleefully. Here you were again waiting and yearning for Illumi; aching for his gaze, his touch, and his words to overwhelming your senses. You sat up quickly at the idea of a game; a game that you dominated when you played with Milluki. Assassin 101: tracking and locating your target. If Illumi wanted you as much as Milluki said he did then prove it. Game on.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You sighed, rubbing the soreness out of you neck, and clocked out for the day. It had been a year since you left everything behind to test Illumi; what better way to prove his worth than a game of hide and seek. If he successfully found you then Milluki was right and you'd happily go through with the wedding, if he didn't seek you out then you had a fresh start to live your life free of the expectations of everyone. You had gotten an office job which was quite an adjustment from what you had been trained to do originally. However, doing work as an assassin didn't require long hours behind a desk staring at a monitor.

You lost count of how many times you had to stay overtime to finish a team project. It was finally Friday which meant your coworkers attempting to get you to go out to a local bar but you yet again declined their invite and opted for a another night in with dinner from the convenient store. Your heels clicked against the concrete, a breeze hit your skin causing you to shiver. You walked faster, holding onto your paper bag tightly and cursing yourself for forgetting your sweater back at the office. Luckily the convince store wasn't a far walk from the apartment.

Going into hiding meant getting a new identity and with a new life meant new struggles; applying for jobs and apartments with no credit or job history under the new identity proved to be a challenge but you came out victorious in the end. You walked up the flight of steps to your apartment; you smiled and greeted your elderly neighbor as you put your keys in the lock. You promised to go visit her soon to keep her company while she ate dinner and watched her weekly tv drama. You walked in as you told her goodnight, closing the door behind you with your foot, and reached over to turn on the lamp that sat on a side table. You tossed your keys along with your heels haphazardly on the table and floor.

You walked through your small living room that connected to your kitchen. You set your bag on the counter and putting your food to the side. You suddenly froze in place as an uneasy feeling came over you; you could recognize that blood lust from anywhere. You slowly turned to Illumi standing in your living room playing with one of his many nen needles in his hand. His lips slowly curved into a smile that you had never seen grace his face before.

"So this is where you've been hiding all this time," He said as he started to walk over to where you were. "I'll give you credit this is just inconspicuous enough to make it hard to track you. Not to mention using zetsu to conceal your presence." He chuckled to himself.

You braced yourself against the counter as he stood in front of you. He grabbed your face with one hand as he lightly pressed his needle against your throat with the other.

"You actually found me?" You asked dumbfounded which only made him scoff. He actually came looking for you, and you welcomed the butterflies that swarmed in your stomach.

"Do you know how many people I had to kill just to see you again?" He asked as he leaned in close enough for your lips to graze one another's.

"It took you long enough." You breathed as you looked into his eyes.

He cocked his head to the side as if he was confused but you could tell by the rest of his body language that this little hunt excited him. He removed his nen needle from your neck and took a step back. Silence fell between you both as the tension grew. You could have sworn Illumi could hear your heart beating out of your chest from where he stood. Here he was after a year of being apart and better yet he sought you out. Without thinking you grabbed onto Illumi and crashed your lips against his. He immediately moved his hands to your hips, his grip would leave bruises no doubt but you didn't care. Without breaking the kiss he lifted you onto the counter, his hands leaving your waist for a brief moment to wondered up to your blouse; he ripped it open effortlessly as the buttons flew off hitting the counter beside you or the floor. He started to kiss his way down your jaw to your neck causing you to sigh. You felt his hands slowly move back to your waist, pushing your skirt up, as he started to place open mouth kisses on your neck. You let out a soft moan as he found your sweet spot close to your ear.

"Drove me crazy looking for you." He breathed into your ear. "Hiding what was promised to me since birth."

"Needed proof you were serious about this. About us." You softly said as your fingers found their way to his hair.

"Proof? You needed proof that you're one of the only things that's been on my mind for years," he huffed out. "You and this." He said as he pulled your damp panties to the side and easily slid two fingers into your cunt.

He moved his fingers in and out of you agonizingly slow; you hated the way he teased you.

"Please Illumi." You whimpered out as he chuckled pulling his fingers out of you.

He stepped back to look at you, eyes darkening at you disheveled form. You hair in disarray, your blouse ruined just enough to show off that lace bra, and your skirt bunched up around your hips. He watched your chest rise and fall as you pant . This was what he had chased after. This is what he wanted, no needed. This was his wife. He smirked as he turned on his heel and made his way to your couch. Your eyes followed the way he gracefully sat down and spread his legs; he lifted his hand and motioned for you to come to him. You quickly got off the counter and made your way over to him but before you could touch him he stopped you.

"Strip." He said plainly.

You kept your eyes on him as you removed everything one by one till you stood in front of him naked. You wished you were embarrassed about being completely nude with eyes looking you up and down; his eyes looking at you like you were his prey. He leaned back into the couch and you stood in between his legs. He patted his lap and you couldn't help but let your eyes wonder to his crotch. His facial expression read as if he disinterested yet his cock straining against his pants said otherwise. You climbed on top of his lap and placed your hands on his shoulders. You felt his cold hands run over your sides and down to your hips once more giving a light squeeze; he chuckled at the gasp you let out. His hands moved away from your hips briefly as his hands made quick work of freeing his aching cock. You lifted your hips as he lined himself up to your entrance. You slowly lowered yourself down onto him, both letting out a moan as he bottomed out. His large hands moved back to your hips as you started to move up and down against him. You soon found your rhythm, closing your eyes taking in the feeling of his cock; he leaned up placing soft kisses against your neck.

"Fuck Illumi I've wanted this for so long." You moaned out.

Suddenly you were flipped onto your back as his hands moved under your thighs and pushed them to your chest. Without hesitating he started to pound into your pussy with hard, deep thrust. You let out a loud moan as your eyes rolled to the back; your hands grabbing onto the fabric of the couch to steady yourself.

"This is finally mine. All mine.' Illumi huffed out as he watched the way his cock bullied your pussy. "Isn't that right?"

"Yes." You managed to moan out as you felt yourself already nearing your climax.

"Going to give me the next Zoldyck heir like the good little wife you are." He said which caused your eyes to shoot open.

You watched as he moved one of his hands against your stomach putting pressure causing both of you to moan in sync.

"You're going to make me a father aren't you?" He said and you frantically nodded your head to cock drunk to object.

"Yes Illumi, please." You begged. "Want to be your good little wife."

You felt his fingertips travel to your clit and rub harsh circles as his hips continued on his brutal pace. You threw your head back and moaned Illumi's name as you reached your climax.

"What a good girl you are." Illumi cooed as his eyes traveled to the white ring around his cock.

With a few more sloppy thrust Illumi finished inside of you as you both panted. He pulled out of you and watched his cum slowly seeping out; he ran his slender fingertips along your slit just to shove his fingers inside you to keep it all inside.

"I'm taking you back home tonight. We are to be married tomorrow. We've kept each other waiting too long." He flatly said which caused you to laugh.

"Anything for my soon to be husband." You hummed.

[marthammasters]

@revenge-of-the-assbutt @firstaidspray @sachermorte thank u for enabling me NEWAY since I’ve been too dead to do any of my own hobbies here’s some thoughts on House & Co’s physical hobbies/lil crafts & such they do in the comfort of their home<3:

House: canonically does a ton of shit like piano/guitar/cooking/so on but In the spirit of him resisting change (At Times!) I think he’s gotten very good if not makes a fun time out of mending clothes🥺…. Didn’t wanna throw away his favorite shirts so it started w small hems+resizings until he looked up more tips online and get decorative w it. Pretty contrasting colors/patterns now randomly laid on his shirts and pants w only the careful eye(Cuddy+Wilson) to notice. If anyone cares

Wilson: gardening. Well as much one can do within his apartments/pretty nonplant friendly homes. He’s not a super greenthumb expert but it always gives him a lil confidence boost when he’s able to grow out spices and herbs & such to use in his cooking ♥️

Cuddy: she seems like a collage-making kind of girlie💗💗 no specific theme in em or anything but she still holds onto the potential self-aid of making vision boards and it’s relaxing for her to go thru magazines/etc + cut out whatever interests her enough to use. Rachel tries and cutely fails to help 💓💓💓

Chase: ironically enough for the prodigal son lol but . He genuinely seems like someone who enjoys spending time in silence/music doing puzzles w 1000+ pieces & such #DWEEB❤️. House once got him a 5000 piece puzzle of a kangaroo or w/e as a joke and he is Determined to complete it. In due time chase…

Foreman: the thought of Foreman crocheting is so dear to me….. he doesn’t rly tell anyone ab it but there’s a lot of half-finished + worn projects as proof around his home. #angsting it sorry but I think he took it up after his mom started deteriorating bc she crocheted too and it was a fonder reminder + sumn they could do together. One yr he gave the fellow ducklings scarves he made as Xmas gift. Not that he told him he made it tho😅#repressed

Cameron: I think she has a moderately sized zen garden on a table somewhere in her home she takes SERIOUS. Changes the lines/circles in the sand periodically, sees what new arrangement of rocks she can do etc etc. Girl that thing is meant to be relaxing!! also colorcodes/sticker-covers/etc her planner like a CHAMP.

Amber: she has the most well-detailed prettiest most concerning-when-read journal/diary everrrr. Dedicates a specific time in every day to it w specific pens of various colors. Some of the recounting even have lil doodles or if she takes the journal out w her she draws her view wherever she is<3 they’re literal chickenscratch but its still fun and fulfilling. It’s a bibleesque piece to Wilson’s Amber shrine btw

Thirteen: she’s hard to analyze for me soz 13heads I do love her #trust… nonetheless I bet she goes to hella dance classes. Partially for the exercise partially for the fun partially for the need to experience Life partially for the women. Heh. She’s rly into zumba, jazz, contemporary classes to be specific.

Taub: ok ok so remember when he did/bought pottery or w/e to convince his wife he was being faithful. I think he’d do it for real as a joke/alibi then be like wait…. This is kinda fun…? There’s no constraints to what he can make + the sculpting reminds him vaguely of plastic surgery work so he keeps it up.

Kutner: I think he draws + writes his own lil comics/zines 🫶 they’re mostly scifi or superhero and more than a lil inspired by his fave preexisting medias . He likes using the crazy cases he’s experienced w House as story inspo. Also he 4 sure runs dnd campaigns so well and fun. Btw

Masters: she’s a suckerrrr for trivia nights my lil nerd wife<3 but um anyway when she wants to relax she Really doesn’t want sumn that can become info overload so in free time she’ll make friendship bracelets, lil shapes/figures out of string, etc. Will someone please give this woman a full on loom to go cray with!!!!

Park: I can see it so clearly . I can see her lil handpainted warhammer and other tabletop game figures so perfectly in my head. She paints more than she actually plays(but she does !). God save you if you touch or tumble them.

Adams: I kinda DGAF about her sorry women… hmm there’s sumn compelling ab her doing blackout poetry plus occasionally full-on written when the inspo hits! started as a boredom thing in her job in the prison w whatever book she brought in then she kept on doing it w more and more written pieces she comes across.

I put so much time into this. Perhaps too much.😭feel free to gimme y’all’s thoughts on this/ur own ideas :3

[sulfies]

can you spill more abt that self insert of yours? 👁️👁️

Oh boy oh boy can I? (big yapping incoming) (typo and grammar massaccare of 2024)

He is a self insert OC Assassin from the Ottoman brotherhood (bc Im Turkish) and he is 23 (bc I am)

not a secret mentor or anything lol I was just joking in the first post making a mary sue.

I imagine he is similar or one above than whatever Yusuf’s rank is (I have yet to play Revelations :,p ) tho I do not know what time he should be in, Realistically if no time travel happened he would be in same time as Yusuf but I dont want Gilf Ezio (sorry) but if its Ezio, Alt and Desmon togather timeline probobly he is in around AC2 Brotherhood time. (maybe he came by Italy to do a mission and dropped by the hideout)

He is ethnically Balkan or/and Greek (bc I am) which probobly means he was taken to Constantinople as a teen or kid to eighter be sent to Jenniserrie training or the male-harem.

Small history lesson:

- Devşirme was the name of the practice where Ottoman empire basically enslaved young Greek,Balkan,Ukranian,etc etc boys and inserted them into an Elite military (Janniserries) even the Sultans themselves were scared of bc they were known to start coups and kill Sultans(they got a salary and are socially above the commonfolk but… military slaves non the less)

-Male-harems existed, again Balkan, Romanian, Slavic and greek etc people were often the main people in the harems (fun fact nearly no Sultan is Turkish due to this lmao they are all mixed), once again their status were above the common folk and they were well taken care of (the older males could even become gov officals after) but slavery non the less.

Idk if I want him to escape the harem or Jenniserrie for his edgy backgrund but maybe he did few years of training, cought the eye of the Sultan and escaped the moment someone was like “you have been promoted to an elite employeeee, u won harem lotterry” . Probobly wandered the streets a bit, got into hella fights till an Assassin picked him up escaping a group of soliders. Maybe it was an older dude who saw him when they were both in training

He is basically based off my own ethnicity and its context to the time and sociatal goings of that era lol (which was hella gay… very gay… too gay almost)

He probobly has some traditional slavic leg,hand and arm tattoos (bc I have em but also) mostly bc around those times (nearly always women) used to tattoo themselves in those motifs to remember their christian roots and their culture (that Ottoman tried to erease) and also to make themselves less appealing to Ottoman Harem/ Devşirme recuiters :,D

For his name, Maybe to be on the nose… Adem? (Turkish ver of Adam) so he is tied to the apples in a fun way? Or Poyraz (means a northern wind) since the meaning is similar to my own name?

He doesnt grow much facial hair (bc I am also stuck w a weak beard) but he refuses to get rid of it no matter how much others tease him bc he is like “I aint getting courted by random crazy men ew” (I dont irl also bc I desperetly believe it looks good…I refuse to open my eyes)

History lesson 2:

-facial hair was important in Ottoman times, It LİTTERALLY determined your gender and how you were approached.

-Socially and in Litriture Ottoman almost had 3 gender roles; Men, Boys (Oğlan) and Women. Once a man grew a beard he would “transition” from being a boy.

-Romantically having a beard versus not determined if you were to be courted or court. Bearded man were called “Lovers” while NON-bearded were called “Beloveds” (yes more often the boys were underage :/ for the sake of history lesson lets…. try to ignore that like ancient greeks)

there is many gay ass poems ^

He got all the mentall illness coctails that I got bc why not make it worse fr him. I imagine him sarcastic and catty, Claudia prob loves taking him to shop around bc he always got something to fckn say about everyone. Big gossipper. Hides the fact that he hates being as short as he is very well (im like… 165? 5’5-4?). If in Yusuf time, nearly BFFS (if im not inserting myself into the throuple (bc Its my self insert and I CAN BE AS CRINGY AS I WANT) he would end up w Yusuf)

Him about others:

Ezio: will never stop calling him de la la la,likes him a lot, loves pranking and teasing him. Enjoys fake flirting with him till he takes it so far Ezio has to throw in the towel. Probobly teached him how to Oil wrestle and Ezio was like “Are you sure this is a real sport…” and all he did was sigh and say “I am so glad it actually is” as he admired Oiled up Ezio

Altaïr: loves mocking whatever big words he uses all the time. calls him “Big boss” just to see his eye twitch with cringe. Knows he can get away with shit if he acts stupid enough. Altair knows he is not that stupid but is impressed(deragotory, fondly) how low he is willing to go.

Desmond: clearly his favorite (im biased sue me) obvious by how much softer he acts around Des. Ezİo falls he laughs, Des falls “My leige, hop on my back”. Is facinated by his piercings and begs him to help him get some. Desmond desperetly wishes he could invent some ADHD Meds for him. Des also finds him strangely comforting, can imagine himself back in 2010s almost…

————-

Idk im not rlly a self insert person so thinking about him was hard and I also dont wanna make my oc “the main character” in this au so I dont really wanna give him any secret powers or anything.

Maybe some edgy gnarly scars on his back from a past mission where he came in contact with an apple? Maybe when he touched the apple he was supplied that canonly he doesnt exist and he is just a fan created being and has a whole issue about it? I can imagine a sad scene of him crying like “You dont understand, You exist! even as some damn video game you do and people know you they cannot deny you exist. ME? all I am is some weirdos self writing, not even enough to be in canon. Does anything I do matter?” lololol

Thats all I got for him for now lol but feel free to ask more:p Im also open to ideas for him.

sorry for the yapping and history lesson… here is some more fun facts:

-Oğlancılık (male prostitution) was pretty respected they were seen like any other tradesperson in some parts

-a Paşa tried to ban under 30 males from being washers in Turkish Hamams due to them also being sex workers and litterally everyone was so mad he got replaced

-dancers in coffeehouses wore the same fit no matter the gender so boys and girls looked the same (once again they were also sex workers)

-one time a jewish boy caused such a big fight between janniserries the sultan had to threathen to kill 40 man from each side if they didnt stop

-Draculas are real people and RADU the beutyfull (his OFFİCİAL NAME) had a full on recorded relationship with Sultan Mehmet2 :p

- Gay shit was legalized in 1853 mostly bc they never rlly punished it….

for the girlies

-in harems the girls couldnt order things like cucumbers or carrots to their rooms w out it being cut up :p