#it was the more well defined one like it's easier to spot this than the chainsaw without getting close soo

[bibiana112]

So I may now have both a pair of four leaf clover earrings and a pair of fire axe earrings and it was frankly a coincidence but I'm thrilled

[psychoticallytrans]

A commonly overlooked symptom of depression is anhedonia, the inability to feel joy or pleasure. The reason that it's easy to overlook is that it's easier to miss the absence of something that's not around all the time than it is to miss a symptom that causes active distress, such as feeling tired and miserable all the time.

Anhedonia is good at being a persistent undercurrent to your life. My aunt, who has major depressive disorder, related to me that she figured out that something was wrong when she looked at the daffodils she had planted blooming, and couldn't recognize the emotion that she felt when she looked at them. It had been long enough since she had felt happy that she lost the ability to recognize the emotion.

It's a particularly dangerous depressive symptom, because it robs you of the ability to feel those little spots of joy that keep a lot of people going, while not doing anything to impair your ability to function. If you don't know that this is a treatable symptom of depression, it's easy to assume that your ability to feel good is permanently broken, and decide to commit suicide because you don't want to live like that. It's not an irrational conclusion, but it is an uninformed one, and everyone deserves to have all the information when making a major decision.

This is what a lot of questionnaires are trying to look for when they ask about "loss of enjoyment". If you can't remember a loss of enjoyment because you can't remember enjoyment, then you probably have anhedonia. If you struggle to define how it is to feel "happy", "content", or "good", or how it feels when you feel those emotions, you probably have anhedonia. If you can't remember feeling any of those emotions for a week or more, you probably have anhedonia.

Symptoms commonly co-occurring with anhedonia are fatigue (often the cause), clear and thoughtful consideration of suicide, loss of desire to socialize or do activities that used to make you happy, and weight loss (due to lack of enjoyment of food).

This section is anecdotal. In what I have observed, anhedonia due to fatigue rarely responds well to depression treatment unless depression was causing the fatigue. If fatigue and anhedonia are co-occurring and are not both alleviated by depression treatment, consider other causes for the fatigue.

[eternallyei]

smut, painter men x f!reader

Painter men that’s so obsessed with your curves that he unconsciously draws details of it in his paintings every time his hands start speaking his mind.

He knows the curves of your waist by heart, he doesn’t even give any thoughts about how to paint the canvas. It’s so precise in his mind, as if he had been painting you for ages. Clearly it’s automatic, like his hands were stuck in a loop to draw you.

You’re his muse, his biggest inspiration days and nights. He daydreams and dreams about your delicate figure roaming around his studio. His cheeks flushing pink whenever you finally walk in the room.

He spends hours looking at your figure, your mimics, the way you frown when you get too concentrated in your work or lecture. When you show him something to have his opinion, your little face eager to get any reactions from your boyfriend.

The way your chest rise and falls when you breathe, fast or slow, anything is just enough to attract his attention. Just you, you only, he’s only ever muse, his most precious and most beautiful piece of art. All for him to paint in all of its meanings and colors.

“nngh.. please”

He smiles, remote tightly held in his defined hands while he presses buttons, the vibration only going stronger on your wet pussy. Eyes focused on the canva in front of him, concentrated on the emotions he’s painting into it, colors echoing the sound of your moans for only his ears to hear.

“stop squirming around like that, Miss.. w’dun wanna ruin such a piece of art now, do we ?”

Easier said than done when all he does is leave you drenched in sweat and your own cum on the sofa. You can just squirm in mixed pleasure and discomfort by the way the cold breeze hits your opened legs only for him to paint.

“i-ahh can’t.. anymore please.. ahh fuuck!”

It hits you, you cum yet again under his lust-dazed eyes piercing through your pleading and teary ones. He scoffs, his ears burning red at the envy but he isn’t done with the painting yet. Your words falling on deaf ears as he pushes the volume up more.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, you can barely air a sound, and when you finally catch your breath, the lewdest moan escapes your throat. You swear if anyone passed by they’d think he’s torturing you. Well they wouldn’t be wrong but you asked for this.

He’s eyeing you, devouring you in small glances, a faint smirk glued to his lips. Only your pleads keep him from losing his mind, snapping him out of his pant for a bit.

If only this pant wasn’t so tight in the first place, but he needs just a few more strokes with his paintbrush. He’s too distracted by the way your face contorts in pleasure every time you cum on this sex-toy. Do you fucking love it more than his cock ?

“just a little more, baby..”

He sighs, barely holding a moan by the thought of painting you with his own sweet color. Fuck. He draws few more details and he jumps up his chair, almost throwing his brush and palette.

Hands quick to pull down his pants, holding his aching cock while his eyes stare at you in lust. He walks over to you, scanning your face to your chest rising up and down in distress for air, until he catches sight of your opened legs.

His favorite dessert fully undressed, a pinkish vibrator holding itself inside to try and pleasure you like he does. Thrown to the side and quickly replaced by his length, sliding between the spots that couldn’t be reached by the toy.

His dick is rock hard, it only takes him a few strokes to already cum inside your walls, but he hopes you weren’t expecting him to stop there because he was only getting a taste of what he was craving for a while long now.

It’s only the beginning and he’s going to make sure you’re painted more than any of his paintings. Whiter than any of the empty ones. Just to make sure he went to the end of his masterpiece.

— MARIUS RAFAYEL (albedo) —

— AND ANY OF YOUR FAVS ♡

came through my mind, was picturing the obsessive painting and it sounded cute at first lol until it turned into sth dirty..

likes, rb and comments are appreciated, thank you lovelies ♡

@eternallyei. please do not copy/translate/use as your own.

[monpalace]

leona kingscholar/reader. gender-neutral reader. ~700 words. there's one (1) line of dialogue in this entire thing.

there's a sleeping lion between your legs the second your hands touch his mane.

leona's head bobs and sways every time you comb your hands through the tangled locks and you're not sure if it's because he's actually asleep or because he's chasing your touch.

(you know full and well it's the latter.)

ruggie pops in and out of the room periodically to pull out leona's uniform and ensure he hasn't dragged you back into the bed. he's snickering and you can tell he's considering doing something for blackmail, but he's quick to talk himself out of it and leave with a wave.

leona's hair is softer than the first time you touched it. it's easier to comb through and braid since that time octavinelle tried to swindle ramshackle, weaving through your fingers like delicately grown grass with the occasional hiccup.

he takes better care of his hair nowadays, even if he does force you to do most (if not all) the work. better wording would be he's more willing to care for it, but you've been told of the effort he puts into a routine when you're not available.

(even if he denies it and says ruggie's a liar, you'd have to be blind to not see the amount of product littering his bathroom.)

admittedly, you were most thankful when he started braiding and tying his hair up at night. you remember how he'd squeeze your thigh or bite his hand whenever you'd try to untangle and style it after getting him up.

leona's tail swats your foot when you accidentally rake a hand over his ear, his teeth lightly scraping against the knee he laid his head on. a silent warning that you're quick to acknowledge by rubbing around the ear before smoothing the hair again.

your fingers glide through his hair as you braid it. he's compliant when it comes to not leaning into the way you pull and stroke to make sure no strand is too loose, a quiet, rumbling noise leaving him whenever you do.

when tapping and gentle shakes don't work, you have to stop touching him entirely for him to barely wake. his chin is sharp on your thigh when he finally turns his head, eyes trying hard as they might to glare at you through his tiredness.

a hand combing through the hair that frames his face gets him to turn until he can angle his head up at you properly. he lays his head down once you start planning where to start the first braid and all you're able to focus on is the way the waves of his hair have become defined coils.

they bounce back every time you pull a strand into the braid and you can confidently say it's the most fun you've had doing anyone's hair.

you have to press the braid between his lips to keep it from unraveling. his nose sniffs because he can feel a few stray strands tickle it, but he doesn't spit it out when you do gymnastics to reach the closest hair tie.

(there were at least thirteen scattered somewhere between the sheets. you think some of them snapped during the day and finally fell when he collapsed in bed, though there was also the possibility he just tugged them off when he settled down for the day.)

(that'd explain why all of them had strands of hair impossibly wound around them.)

muscle memory kicks in when you tap his head onto the other leg and start the second braid. taking the other tie and wrapping it around it, you wonder if he'll drag you back into bed or get dressed enough to drag you to one of his favorite spots.

while the thought of escaping to get yourself ready for the day is tempting, you know he'll only hold tight at refuse to let you go.

you're not sure why you didn't expect him to wrap an arm around each thigh, holding you in place after an unfortunate twitch. his eyes open as wide as they can like some sort of threat and the only answer you give him is a peck on the forehead.

"we have to get going," you hum, thumb rubbing against the apple of his cheek. his grip tightens and you're on the floor before you know it.

he's holding your head against his chest like he's protecting you from the dust on the ground and all you're thinking about is how you have to go through the entire process a third time.

[seoltzuki]

Persona

jihyo x gn reader

fluff, very unserious, suggestive (kinda), not proofread

wannabe player jihyo

You know it’s not the smartest idea, but it feels like it’s the only option to shake things up.

Nayeon’s been urging you all evening, saying, "Just get on a dating app, y/n. It’s easier to find someone who wants to hook up on there. And better yet, with no strings attached since you’re so allergic to falling in love and settling down."

You huffed and rolled your eyes. No need for her to be so… brutally honest. And so caved in. You downloaded the app and started scrolling through it. You swiped on pretty faces, ignoring those seeking long-term relationships, until one profile grabbed your attention.

Despite its douchy and fuckboy-ish vibe, you couldn’t help but be drawn to this person’s profile.

Jihyo.

Her photos showcased her with well-defined abs glistening under gym lights, another captured her in full hockey gear, while another showed her casually sporting a backward cap, adding a touch of laid-back douchiness.

Let’s not talk about her bio, which ew by the way… You cringed as you read it,

6’1 when I stand on my money.

ps: my couch pulls out, but I don’t when I’m strapped up👅💦

You gag at this but still swipe right. It’s clear she’s looking for the same casual fun as you are. And as expected, you both match, confirming your mutual interest in a no-strings-attached connection.

You begin texting Jihyo, and the conversations quickly become flirty, bordering on explicit. This back-and-forth continues for a week until Jihyo takes the initiative to set up a date to meet in person.

She suggests grabbing a quick bite at a fast food joint near her place. You find the idea crass and somewhat unappealing; after all, why bother with a lame meal when you could just head straight to her place for some action?

Nonetheless, you agree. Jihyo manages to sway you with another teasing message: “You’ll need energy if you wanna keep up with me, angel ;)”

The day arrives, and despite knowing it’s just a one-time thing, you find yourself oddly excited. You debate whether it’s worth dressing up for the occasion, knowing you’ll likely never see her again after tonight, but you make the effort anyway.

As you commute to the shitty fast food joint, a text from Jihyo pops up: “hey! I’m already here. I’m gonna be waiting for you at the bus stop, no rush :)”

You frown at first, but then a small smile creeps onto your face. It’s strange to receive such a normal and sweet text from her.

You feel a flutter in your stomach, but you quickly dismiss it. This is just a one-time thing, you remind yourself, as you gather your things to to hop off the bus.

Stepping onto the sidewalk, you glance around, expecting to spot Jihyo. However, she’s nowhere in sight until you hear your name being called. You look past the man who was hiding Jihyo, and as she steps forward, you realize she’s even shorter than you had imagined.

"I hope the ride here wasn’t too bad. Ready to eat?" She smiles wide, and you can't help but notice how much cuter she is in person than you had imagined.

You nod, following her into the restaurant. She walks with a pep in her step, and you can't help but admire how cute she looks in her baggy jeans, oversized shirt, and that damn backward hat. It's nothing like the pictures she had on her profile.

A cutie.

She orders and pays for both of you, and you can't help but slip out, "You must be really rich then."

She frowns, her lower lip popping out in a pout. "I mean-" she starts to explain, but you cut her off, "your bio. 6'1 when I stand on my money, remember?" You tease, then casually munch on your fries.

Her eyebrows arch in surprise, and a blush tinges her cheeks. "Gosh, I forgot about that. I’m sorry, it’s-"

"You’re cute."

Her blush deepens, and she adjusts her hat, offering you a shy smile.

As the conversation flows, you find yourself enjoying Jihyo’s company more than you expected. Her easygoing nature and genuine laughter put you at ease, and you start to forget about the initial awkwardness of the situation.

You notice her little quirks—the way she looks incredibly angry when she takes a delicious bite of her hamburger, that big smile that makes her eyes almost disappear, the way she gives you her full attention when you speak… It’s becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the flutter in your stomach.

She then offers you to come over for some dessert, and you can't say no. After all, this is what you originally came for anyway.

The walk to her place is short, and when you arrive, you brace yourself for the typical "fuckboy" house—a mess, dishes piled in the sink, and a less-than-ideal bathroom. However, when she welcomes you inside, you're taken aback. The place is pristine and beautifully decorated. You start to wonder if her dating profile was all just a facade.

You prepare yourself for the "dessert" as she instruct you to get comfortable. Taking a seat on the couch, you anticipate what's to come, but to your surprise, she returns with a tray to the coffee table in the center of the living room. The tray has an array of treats—brownies, cookies, and mochi—and hold up, are they homemade too!?

"I’ve made them for you! For tonight! Have a taste!" She says with pride, her smile wide and chest puffed out.

You take a cookie and bite into it, moaning at the delicious taste. It's so good that you kind of want to murder her for being such a good baker, but also for messing up your flow.

You guys should’ve been in bed by now.

She flops beside you, still smiling. “It’s so good,” you remark, savouring the last bite of the cookie.

“Yeah? I’m glad you like it, wasn’t sure what you were gonna be into,” she says, her eyes fixed on you.

As you meet her gaze, you sink further into the cozy couch. She removes her hat, allowing her curls to cascade, and you're taken aback by her beauty.

She runs her fingers through her hair before settling in, her arm draped over the back of the couch, hand supporting her chin. She continues to watch you, and you feel your cheeks flush under her gaze.

"I don’t think I’ve had the chance to tell you how beautiful you are, y/n," Jihyo says softly, her eyes scanning your face.

She bites the inside of her cheek and briefly lets her eyes drift down to take you all in. You smile shyly, noticing the subtle shift in her demeanor. Perhaps the "fuckboy" from her profile is finally making an appearance now.

Your hands sink into her sofa, and you hum, "This isn’t a pull out couch."

Jihyo’s eyes linger on yours, a teasing glint dancing in them.

"Never owned a pull out couch," she responds, her tone low and suggestive, "but I do have the strap."

You roll your eyes, but the shiver that runs down your spine betrays your true feelings. She smiles softly again, her gaze locked with yours as you edge closer to her.

"You're too crude, Jihyo. It’s not charming," you tease, allowing your fingers to trace a pattern along her arm, the tension between you growing.

"I may be crude, but hey, having a pretty person right beside me makes up for it, don't you think?" she whispers, edging closer. Her breath grazes your lips, igniting a surge of excitement within you.

And then, with a delicate touch, her lips meet yours in a tender, lingering kiss. The sensation is electric, your body melting into the moment as you get lost in the softness of her lips against yours.

A shared breath and she gives another kiss, deeper than the last. Her lips press against yours with a newfound urgency. You feel the softness of her touch as her hands slide to the back of your neck, gently pulling you closer.

A soft moan escapes your lips in response to the sensation, and she pulls back, breathless, her eyes locking with yours as the intensity of the moment hangs in the air.

“Y/n,” she starts, her voice gentle as she takes a deep breath to steady herself, “I know we’re both into the one-night stand thing, but I think I like you more than I should. And I know you should’ve been on your third orgasm by now, but for some reason, I can’t bring myself to sleep with you unless we go on, at least, two proper dates.”

You stare at her, surprised by her honesty. The air between you is charged with tension as you process her words. Despite the initial intentions of this encounter, you can’t deny the flutter of excitement in your chest at the thought of spending more time with her.

Taking a moment to collect your thoughts, you reach out and gently cup her cheek, brushing your thumb against her skin. “Jihyo,” you say softly, “I feel the same way. I’d like that.”

A smile spreads across her face, relief evident in her eyes. “Really?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Really,” you confirm, leaning in to place a tender kiss on her lips. It’s a promise of what’s to come—a beginning rather than an end.

A relieved sigh escapes her lips as she leans back against the couch, holding your hand tightly.

“Let’s watch TV and finish the sweets?” she proposes, her voice tinged with shyness.

You smile warmly at her, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “Sounds perfect,” you say, feeling a rush of affection for her. “But I need the backstory behind that insane dating profile of yours.”

Jihyo chuckles, a hint of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “Oh, that,” she says, running a hand through her hair. “Well, you see, I had a phase where I was tired of all the boring conversations on dating apps. So, I decided to spice things up a bit and I may have gone a little overboard with the whole ‘fuckboy’ persona.”

You giggle, intrigued by her. “It definitely caught my attention,” you admit.

She smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, well, I may have exaggerated a bit,” she confesses. “But hey, it worked, didn’t it?”

“Definitely,” you agree, squeezing her hand affectionately. “But I’m glad to see the real you now.”

With a warm smile, Jihyo leans in closer, her eyes sparkling with sincerity. “Me too,” she whispers, before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"However, I do give the best strap. No one can beat me to that and I mean it when I say I don’t pull out and-"

"Ew, you’re crude Jihyo!" you exclaim, playfully scolding her with a mock grimace.

Jihyo lets out a hearty laugh, her eyes crinkling with amusement. "Hey, just keeping it real, sweetheart."

You may not be allergic to falling in love after all.

[ma1dita]

liar, liar

part two cn be found here-> truth be told

words: little under 2k

summary: sirius black is a good liar. spot how many times sirius lies in this fic.

warnings: slight nondescript smut!! errr cursing & another self-deprecating marauder, mostly unrequited love/being led on, sirius’s trauma response, fem!reader is too good for sirius, fem!reader has ‘i can fix him’ complex

a/n: guys… i thought of this prompt and the necklace Alex Russo wore in WoWP and suddenly, complex by katie gregson-macleod started playing so…sorry if this gets sadder.

(posted 9/8/23 & edited 11/6/23)

—

At the very core of him, Sirius Black is a liar. 

It’s not directly his fault, but a subliminal result of the loveless household he grew up in. Lies roll off his experienced tongue more naturally than when he’s ever tried to say I love you. So he’s convinced himself that it’s easier to live life this way, without love. If love ever fell into his hands, he’s not quite sure what he’d do with it. 

If Sirius Black could be defined, he thinks it would lack the word love and instead encompass a lot of his anger. Fiery, palpable anger, deep set in his core. That’s what he is. There are a lot of things to be angry about in this life, after all.

—

You’re 16 and this birthday party might’ve been your best idea yet. Your friends are dotted around your dorm room, along with some people you’ve invited from your classes. Among the forming crowd, you spot one Sirius Black. You don’t talk much outside of being Potions partners, and you get by with smiles in the halls and friendly touches. He’s looking at you from across the room like he knows you intimately, but that is far from the truth. Sirius Black is an enigma if anything, but what’s more unusual to you even after three shots of firewhiskey is the fact that he doesn't have any of his friends in tow. He meanders around the open space before circling back towards your direction as if that wasn’t his plan in the first place.

“Trouble in paradise?” you joke, gesturing to the space his posse would usually occupy behind him. He scoffs, avoiding the question, giving you a proper kiss on the cheek instead as he loops his arms around your waist. It piques your interest; you’ve always loved a challenge.

“Happy birthday, gorgeous.”

Sirius is handing you a small jewelry box, and you look at him dumbfounded. You’re barely even friends.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Black. I just called you over to get drunk with me and my mates.” You giggle, cheeks red from the alcohol.

It’s a necklace. A magical, really expensive one. Sirius is gauging your reaction, scratching the back of his neck. It’s easy to put a price to something rather than show you all of his cards.

“Well, aren't I special? This is too much, Black. I shouldn’t…” Your soft hands are pushing the box into his impenetrable wall of a chest as you shake your head in disbelief. No one’s ever gotten you something this nice or expensive before. You wonder if he does this to all the other girls that fawn over him.

“It’s nothing. I insist. You keep me distracted in Slughorn’s class and for that, you get a prize just as pretty as you.” He’s holding your wrists now, rubbing them casually like this isn’t the most intimate encounter you’ve had with him yet. Somehow you can sense that he needs this more than you do. To be needed. He doesn’t want to tell you that you’re the only one making him smile nowadays since his friends haven’t talked to him in weeks. You indulge in this behavior, because it’s new and exciting, and who would say no to Sirius Black?

The party ends much later after you tease him until his wit’s end, and then it’s your whispered approval that moves him to move his body over yours, the rest of your clothes quickly flying off in his pursuit to become a part of you. Physically and metaphorically, his being overtakes you quickly. Deep into the night, when he’s fucking you into your mattress, the necklace he gave you swings back and forth against your chest with every thrust of his hips, every bump of the headboard against the wall thumping the final nails into the coffin. You can’t help but feel special as he lays kisses on your spine. You know this isn’t intimacy in Sirius’ world though. This isn’t love, it’s bodies yearning for connection, to find something meaningful. To string the words to define how to pass the time. You hope he finds what he’s looking for between your sheets and as he breathes into your hair.

Sirius is angry at the world and he’s chosen you to be his target. What color on your necklace can define the fact you wanted him to fuck you brainless anyways? What can accurately portray the shaking of his hands as he slaps the fat of your thighs? Both of you don’t remember, but all he knows is your naked bosom is glowing amber as you pant, and it looks and feels like you’re on fire. Lust has a way of consuming the body, both of you moving until you cannot anymore, anatomy animated by the need for touch.

He needed this, a distraction. And you just wanted a crazy story to tell. You keep note of the fact that Sirius likes it when you moan his name, and he makes it his mission for you to scream the name he grew up hating because it sounds pretty coming from your mouth. Because here in this room, it means something other than disappointment.

“Oh my god, baby, right there!”

“Don’t call me that. I’m not your baby.” he pants, pulling your hair roughly as he jackhammers into you. No pet names or endearments are allowed. Just Sirius, and he’ll correct you if you get it wrong. By the end of it, you’re slurring your words and screaming nonsense anyway. You think nothing of it.

He wants you as much as you’ll have him, which, when you’re 16, you think can be made a priority just to keep his eyes on you. Everyone wants a piece of Sirius Orion Black. And your hands are stretched out in hopes of partaking in this transaction of physicality and sin. Weeks later, after you seemingly fall asleep in the boys’ dorm, James asks Sirius if you’re his girlfriend. “She’s…alright,” he mumbles into the air. They’ve finally forgiven him for The Prank after your urges to get Sirius to swallow his ego. He never got to thank you for it. Gratitudes and endearments were a rarity at Grimmauld Place. 

Peter whispers in the dark of their dorm and asks Sirius if he could ever fall in love with you. With your eyes closed and your head lying against his chest, you feel him shrug as he traces a hickey he left on your collarbone. What is love to Sirius Black? He’s looking at your chest glow red, and his hand clutches the pendant in his fist, trying to dim its light. You go to sleep instead. The incandescent glow of the pendant seeps beneath your eyelids.

—

You’re 19 and sometimes you wonder if it’d be easier to be dead. Good days are a relief for all to have, presenting themselves as scarce and far apart in your new normal. There’s a war going on and you think it’s criminal to consider yourself adult enough to fight in it, but you and your friends–and your boyfriend do. You sleep in Sirius’ apartment more than your own now, but he never calls you his girlfriend, he just calls you his, and you convince yourself to not worry so much about it because death itself is coming for everyone you know. You’re together, and that’s what matters, right? There are bigger problems at hand.

Between Auror missions, Sirius has a bad habit of picking fights with you in front of your friends, which now include his friends. A lot of you comes from him, which you don’t resent. They’re lovely, but they see through the struggle. They know him too well, and you go to every gathering with an inkling that they know how mean Sirius can truly be. Old habits die hard. Tonight he yells at you because you won’t let him get a fifth beer. 

“Always thinking you know better than me, (Y/N). You’re not my fucking wife, so I don’t need to listen to you! No one wants to hang around a killjoy.”

He wrenches his grip from your thigh, nearly toppling your chair over to stomp over to the bar himself. Everyone stares at you, waiting for you to react before they judge. Before they defend their friend. His behavior has been erratic lately with his world crumbling as he knows it. But then again, Sirius has never known life without chaos.

“I know it’s not… ideal. But he’s a good guy. We’re all just going through shit right now. His brother’s missing, so I’m there when he needs me.”  Which is always, you omit from your response. You don’t mind being needed though. Helping him fight his demons is a part of being in a relationship with someone so damaged. You bring him light when his mind darkens. That is not transactional. It’s something deeper, though the words dissipate before either of you can utter it at night.

Lily reaches over the table to hold your hand, with Remus pulling his arm around the back of your chair, and rubbing your shoulder. Your chest is still glowing red, your love for him triumphing over any embarrassment he’s caused you. How you feel has always been clear, evident on your chest. What a weakness to have, to lay yourself bare to him and you wonder if Sirius did it on purpose.

He gets piss drunk as you expected and you have to side-apparate him home while you insist to everyone else that they should stay and have fun. They’re not as easily convinced, but you bid them farewell anyway. You get to the apartment and Sirius mumbles a ‘thank you’ as you help him take his clothes off and you gently tuck him under the covers, kissing him goodnight. Small moments like these are tender. They say more than anything you could put into words.

Moments later, you pretend to not hear Sirius cry, but his chest is heaving and the sound coming from his throat is so gut-wrenching that you lift yourself out from under him where he was weeping into your shoulder. In the dark, your eyes adjust to find his face in the moonlight.

“Sirius?” you breathe, fingers ghosting over the tears on his face. 

“He’s dead.” he whimpers. You’ve never seen Sirius Black let himself be vulnerable like this. Not to the Marauders, and especially not to you. There’s no carnal aspect in sorrow, though it leaves one gutted, worn down to the bone.

“My baby brother is dead, and no one knows. I don’t even have a body to mourn over.” 

He chokes back a sob, and you let his arms shroud your body, leaving the red glow of your pendant trapped between both of your ribs. You hope some of the light and some of your love seeps into him. You have plenty to give, and it’s all his for the taking, if only he’d let you.

Sirius falls asleep hours later, and you’re pinned to the bed underneath him. There’s a crick in your trapezius that you try to ignore as you stroke his hair. Maybe in his dreamless state he can find peace. You close your eyes and wonder if Regulus has found solace in death. Maybe it would feel something like this.

—

You’re 21 and most of your good friends are dead or in hiding. It’s the night before Halloween, but there’s not a lot to celebrate if real life is much scarier now.

Over the years, Sirius and you have come to an understanding. He’s flawed, with a viciously large ego and oftentimes he’s mean when he doesn’t know how to react. But he’s human. He tries now, more than ever to quell the anger born in the Black name. He tries to be gentle, though the instinct to hurt is in his blood. You’re patient, and resilient enough to take the blows, knowing what you feel is deeper than his anger, often revealing itself as his darkest fears. You like him ‘because’ and love him ‘despite’. Your cue to comfort him is usually right before he gets the look on his face that tells you he’ll say something knowing it’ll make you cry. You’ve always loved him, but now you know why. Sirius wonders every day how you’re still with him. He’s a runner, but since the day you’ve met him, you haven’t quite let go of his hand.

Usually instead of an apology, he’ll usually fuck you to oblivion, making sure your legs shake and your brain is jumbled enough to not talk about the hurt he causes you. He strokes the fire in you, and the feeling of anger that continually wracks his being can only be satiated by your touch. His skin on yours is the best place to be, but maybe there’s a part of you that likes the hurt, his anger. It's almost passionate, the only emotion he knows how to express well. You love him in a way that only you can, despite all of that. But it all blurs when he kisses you, consumes you. You especially like it when he pulls your hair.

You shriek as you come down from a release, hands rubbing the expanse of his chest. His thrusts slow as he grapples with reality, pawing at your breasts. Your hips milk him for his worth, and he groans lowly.

“You’re too good to me, wife. You’re all mine.” 

Your ministrations come to a stop as you look down at him, pendant hanging between your faces. Nicknames were a growing commodity lately.

“Wife, huh…”

The air is heavy between you two, still connected as one while you wait for his response. Let him take the lead, as it’s the role he’s more accustomed to.

“If that’s okay.” he breathes, not knowing what to do with his hands. Love has fallen into his hands, and her physical form is sitting in his lap. His grip eases as he accepts you wholly.

“Maybe someday soon.” 

A slow smile stretches across your face. 

“Ask me properly and I’ll consider.” But the glow of your necklace is more vibrant now, and you two both know your answer as he grabs your waist and pulls you down for another round.

Sirius tries to sneak out of bed in the early morning as you doze off. You wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, bare feet padding across your shared apartment in search of him until you see him dressed in the kitchen and holding a letter. 

“I have to go… deal with some business,” he mutters, not stepping away from the window nor sparing you a glance. Lying to someone he loves is harder than he thought it would be.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” You’re standing in the doorway wearing his shirt and his boxers. He likes it when you say his name. You could call him anything you want and he’d come running.

“James and Lily, they’re in trouble. I’ll be back by morning.”

You turn to grab your wand, planning to go with him, but he’s suddenly grabbing your arm and pulling you into a kiss, stopping your advances. He has something to lose now. You’re his, and he’ll be damned to let you follow him blindly into danger.

“You have to stay here. Everything will be okay,” he says, holding your chin. The lie sits heavy on his tongue. Maybe if he focuses he’ll see the rose-tinted hue of your irises every time he shuts his eyes.

“You’re scaring me...” You look at him in apprehension, his movements erratic and you wonder if he’s cracked and needs an exorcism. Then your heart is thundering in your chest and the red glow turns ice blue. A new feeling has taken a larger form than your love, and its fear. Briefly, you wonder how Sirius lives on edge like this. Something is dangerously wrong. He looks into your eyes, and then the cold glow on your chest. He takes a slow step back away from you, looking almost apologetic.

“Sirius Black, don’t you fucking dare.”

“I love you.”

He’s apparated and long gone before you register what he said. It sounded unfamiliar coming from his mouth, but you weren’t surprised. It was something you’ve always known. You just didn’t think that hearing it would hurt this badly.

—

The doors of the dreary prison cell screech shut in Azkaban. Visiting hours are over, and Sirius hadn’t left his space the whole two hours you waited outside in hopes of seeing him.

Tossing the lunch you packed into the bin as you push through the exit door for the last time, you think that killing him would’ve been easier than this, but he is not the victim in this story. You at least hope he got your package, as you think that maybe you could find a different adventure now, one that doesn’t involve having your feelings splayed across your chest for a murderer to come in and kill you dead. What a fool, to know someone so intimately, so innately, and for him to be a killer.

The envelope is slid under his cell door, and he opens it slowly. The necklace. Sirius sighs, and he wonders if you’ll finally let him go. It’s what you deserve anyway, now that he’ll rot in here for the rest of his life for a crime he didn’t commit. He’s hurt you enough that even if he did tell you everything, there’s a chance you wouldn’t believe him. No one does, after all. The cool silver of the chain makes goosebumps rise on the back of his neck as he slips it on. Red. 

With all the time in the world to think, he realizes that he can easily be defined by the sound of your voice calling his name. He’s called many things now besides a liar; a murderer, a deranged madman, a traitor. The only definition of himself he prefers now is one where he is described to be loving you. There are a lot of things to love about you, after all. He spends days, weeks, months, years, keeping track. He finds new ones every time he closes his eyes.

But Sirius Black is first and foremost a liar, and if there’s anything he’s sure of, is that he’s damn good at it.

—

“You say you love rain

but you open your umbrella.

You say you love the sun

but you find a shadow spot.

You say you love wind

but you close your windows.

This is why I am afraid

when you say you love me.”

William Shakespeare

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: complex by katie gregson-macleod

taglist: @jsjcue

[rin-and-jade]

Home Sweet Home..! : A Post about Your Inner-world.

That's right, it is no other than your own comfortable place to rejuvenate and meet your beloved parts.. We all want to access the inner-world as sometimes, the outside world can be daunting, right?

Come and take a seat on this imaginary, velvet textured, freshly imported sofa, i'll tell you what's this about:

to each and every one of those who yearns to visit its own mental home, this post is for you! And also for those who are front-stuck, or wanted to see--and build its world as a better place. This is also a well-rounded discussion regarding today's topic for those seeking general information on worlds.

TLDR PASS: AVAILABLE

-- This post will be long, and be split into three different sections, 1. The Basics 2. How to create a World 3. Ways to access your World So, make sure you sit somewhere comfy before reading. --

1. The Basics

Okay, but why is it called "inner" world?

Well, in general it constitutes things around emotions, sensations, memories, or other intangible things. There is no defined meaning for the inside world, as everyone experience them differently:

"The Inner World is full of choices wherein we choose what we want to do and what not, our emotions, expectations, our perception of things, expression of our attitude, our inner thoughts and our self-concept." - LinkedIn

Though for systems, our usage for the inner-world is similar to daydreaming, or in another name, mental visualization.

This is as to how the mental mindscape is used to express different part's thoughts or feelings, and also develop a sense of appearance which is often disconnected from the biological appearance for better expression and sense of cohesion/alignment for each alters.

Hm.. does everyone have one?

If you're asking wether all system has this mindscape by default? No.

Apparently, there is a common belief where all systems have inner-worlds, but thats due to the expectations of what a system "normally" has or do. Everyone manifests their own disorders differently, there is no right or wrong way, or things that makes you more or less of a system through this topic.

How should i use my world, though?

There's more than one way to use or interpret how it is utilized. Inner-worlds isn't only about imagination,, in fact, it is a mental palace where all internal processes like processing feelings, generate thoughts, or where you also create an artificial interpretation of the outer world for a better perception.

Inner-worlds are also made of literal and symbolic elements. Both shapes how your inner-world looks like, or work like.

Some utilized the mind's world through a storyline or a simulation to navigate it's experiences, some focus on world building to portray how they perceive its own life or state, and others express mainly through feelings or inner monologue without spending time and effort to create a visualized mental world scape. Anyone can do a little bit of those, or all at the same time too, this is about how the world is utilized.

Here are some examples:

Use it as a meeting spot for better communication and identify other speakers easier

Use the imagination to explore how every alters feel with their identity, appearance, and preferences

Use it to depict your state of mind through the areas of your innerworld, that can represent values or beliefs or emotional experiences Your world can be as simple or complex as you want--go wild!

Do i need a world?

It depends on what you want to do. This isn't a yes or no answer, but i would always recommend people to spend more time creating its own mental world to create a stronger gateaway for system communication and self expression.

You can still live a good system life without having or accessing the inner-world often, you know?

But i can't see internally!

Aphantasia is a condition where you cannot imagine mental images--or keep them clear for long periods, lack of color or foggy lines can also indicate a lesser degree of the condition. For this remedy, step back and remember--your mental senses isn't bound to images only, what about vibes? Or tactile sensations? Utilize your other senses to good use, it's still possible. The mindscape is all about memorization and familiarity, you can still navigate the world, although blind, because of this.

2. How to create a World

Before we get into the steps, here is a reminder that mental sensations are reflected from real-life sensations you remember.

For example, think how you can recall that one moment with your favorite food: you can remember how warm it felt, what the texture is like, what layers of flavor it has.

The innerworld works the same too, by reliving or replicating that same detail, projecting it again within the mind's eye.

--

First phase - starting from scratch

For those who hadn't started, the area would look bland or devoid, interpretation can differ greatly for others. Take this moment to think momentarily, and select a theme or vibe you're going for, example: a house if you want to make it the world feel homey / comfortable.

Start from how big you want the floor to be, how tall the walls are, what about the color or pattern? Would you like a plank or a ceramic tile? How much of natural light do you prefer, that can answer how many windows you want to map out later.

Then the furnitures, invoke whatever you want--the perfect fluffy sofa you wish to sleep on, or that huge circular stairway you often see in the movies. Feel them, touch them as if you're currently on it,, things might look foggy at first, which is normal for developing a new item you wish to add.

Tip: laying a groundwork with the 3d interior maker or a sketch (either paper or digitally) can help you plan and visualize better when this first phase is challenging for you to finish mentally from scratch.

Second phase - getting more personal

Now that you've laid the foundation, practice recalling them and remember every crook and cranny of each rooms or paths you have mapped out even more. This will help the ease of visualization whenever you want to access your innerworld, needing minimal strain to immerse fully in your own mind.

Resuming from your previous progress, its time to add your own personal touches (for each alters)! What kind of items or belongings would you want to own? Do you like a specific decor theme? It's best to start with the things you had seen/touched due to the reason explained previously.

When you're confident and had memorized how the main place, try branching off by adding the external background. (E.g. city scenery/forest/mystical). You can even make them as floating islands, there is no bounds to this.

Tip: its best to write out what each alter likes and their preference to personalize their room/area better while also keeping track of any details of the mindscape.

Third phase - room for expansion

This is where you often stumble into uncharted areas in your world, often discovering them without proper visualization. These often get created from qualities / states that you have internalized on the outer world, they can even represent different parts of your own perception (for example, you stumble into a cemetery, where you associate dormant alters resting at) or wellbeing (for example, the weather changes depending on your mood or stress levels). Often times you'll meet interactive elements--or already did so in the earlier phases.

Expanding an area usually means it is built within a different border, separated from your main area and often has a 'transition tunnel' to access the new area. This can be expressed through magical doors, portals, teleportation, or walking. You can also redo phase one and two to expand more areas as you wish, and connect them through a transition tunnel.

As the conclusion, this phase is done through introspection, through deciphering your own well-being. This is because your innerworld is a subconscious reflection of how your mental and emotional state, and vice versa. This can also manifest in ways like designated areas or interactive elements from the world.

Tip: let your mind wander around freely. Your expectation and prediction kills abstract creativity, which your mind is designed for. This can sometimes happen when you least expected it, don't use this as a time to rush, go slow!

3. Ways to access your World

Behind the scenes

Every system processes, including your world, happens in rest mode-- this is because our brains operate through sets of programs/functions that transitions depending on demands.

There are many sets your brain operates in, but for the sake of simplicity i will educate you on the necessary ones:

DMN - activates when relaxing, exploring creativity, or performing low cognitive tasks. You don't process a lot on this state, and usually related with creative thinking moments.

Do you know why you get creative solutions when you're in the shower but not at the heat of the moment? The DMN does just that. Annoying, i know... i wish it came earlier and not when the argument is over.

VAN - activates when exposed to threats, or sudden change of stimuli. This mode is mainly tasked in selective attention, focusing on what is deemed important depending on your values. Operates in fright factors

Suddenly jerked your head to the falling sound of a plastic cup from the other room whilst focusing on your activity? VAN is the culprit, sudden yells or getting your name called also counts.

CEN - activates your directed focus and controls how long you commit to a task. It is responsible for cognitive demanding tasks that requires problem solving or decision making. You are in a state of action or processing, which is the opposite of rest.

Like how time passed without your awareness, or when you ponder less while committing all your attention to that one difficult combo you have to pull of in the game because you can't risk any distractions or disturbances until you absolutely made it to the next level after the 11th try? Now that's a CEN for you.

--

Now that you're all on the same page, time to get into the details:

The only way to access your world is to look inwards -> inwards mean you engage with thoughts and images -> thoughts and images usually pop when you're calm and not distracted -> a calm state is achieved in a safe place or non-busy environments.

So if you ever thought of being busy, or feeling stressed makes talking to your alters more difficult, you're not making that up! That's exactly what your brain modes are doing even if you are never aware of it.

Tips to facilitate better communication & access

Find videos or songs that promotes calmness

Retreating to a less bustling room, silence is your friend

Balance your emotional state to feel more stable

Tune out any distractions if any

Focus to any subtle signs or alter thoughts you've missed

These tips help you connect to your DMN state easier, which will make it easier to retreat to your innerworld or talk to your other parts.

Now it's time to bring you to your world;

(Important. Only do this when you're calm, because the only moment you can do so, is within the DMN. It is not effective nor recommended to attempt this within high stress or busy moments, and for reasons on how frustration and added stress on not being able to retreat mentally blocks your ability even further.)

Start closing your eyes, and recall a specific place you want to be in your world, determine your position, are you sitting or standing somewhere? What are you doing inside there if you can notice? Pour all your attention as your mind creates a mental picture, which brings you to your world.

Designating a real piece of furniture or item you own in the real world and associate it as an item in your mental world would also create an easier short cut to transition between two dimensions, it can be your bed, or a chair, or even a hanged painting.

Im stuck outside for a long time, help!

This phenomenon is when you are stuck within the threat-detecting mode, as your brain thinks the danger has not passed away--and should not waste time or be vulnerable to return to DMN.

When you have been struggling to access or communicate to your alters, think back on what is keeping you anxious, paranoid, or scared, as all these negative emotions keeps you away from a calm state.

Chronic exhaustion or stress also plays a role into this. In conclusion, when you have been stuck for long periods and unable to notice system activities--or happening less often, it's time to dig deeper to the root of cause.

This post right here will help you educate and prepare solutions for your stuck troubles. Here, is another post for all about system communication.

But if you need help from an experienced person, or if the posts are just not cutting it,, you can always DM me to overcome your struggles regarding this situation, im here for you!

Takeaway - What a Tour!

(this post is subjected to tweaks and add-ons in the future)

Here's two questions to end the post: what phase are you at on your world-building progress? When is the usual time your system activity peaks at? Feel free to share your experience or questions in this post, i would love to hear what you have to say and answer any concerns you might have!

I hope this post has been worth reading, this totally took longer than it should be, thanks to @starburstsystem for helping me perfect this post for everyone within this community, give some love to the bro <3

- chrono

--

TLDR SECTION

Inner Worlds: Imaginary mental spaces used by some people, especially those with dissociative disorders, to rejuvenate and meet their alters. They vary greatly in form and function, similar to daydreaming or mental visualization.

Usage: Inner worlds can be used for communication, expressing emotions, and creating a sense of cohesion among alters. They aren't necessary for all systems but can be beneficial for those who have them.

Creating an Inner World:

Starting from Scratch: Visualize basic structures and themes, like a house with specific details (floors, walls, furniture).

Getting More Personal: Add personal touches for each alter, including their preferences and items they would like to have.

Room for Expansion: Explore and expand new areas that represent different aspects of your mental and emotional state.

Accessing the Inner World:

Use techniques like relaxing environments, calming music, and focusing on subtle signs to access the inner world.

Understand brain modes (DMN, VAN, CEN) to know why relaxation is key to accessing inner thoughts.

High stress and exhaustion can block access; addressing these issues can help regain access.

Takeaway: The inner world is a useful tool for some people to communicate and process emotions. It's personalized and can evolve with introspection and creativity.

[icallhimjoey]

Define Close

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: What good are flatmates even, if they don't comfort you when you need it most? Or when you need it a normal amount? Or, you know, when you don't really need it, but just really want it?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, afab!reader, hurt/comfort i guess? idk we're sad a lot and joe cheers us up a lot, talk of period blood getting onto things

Author’s note: i need everyone to understand that there's no real plot going on here, it's just.... it's just vibes, i hope thats ok!

Wordcount: 3.4K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

You looked at your reflection and sighed deeply.

With your tummy sticking out more than usual, no matter how much you tried to suck it in, with your boobs feeling sore, and with your mood swinging like a pendulum in a hurricane, there really was no denying the monthly doom that resided in your lower stomach.

Obviously, the cramps accompanied by your uterine lining leaking out of you was plenty proof, but just in case that didn’t sell it, your jawline decided a few big spots would be just the thing to remind you of the fact that you were dealing with hormones. That you were a woman. One with a period.

It fucking sucked.

Painkillers helped a lot. Really dulled the sharpness of the cramps and the persistent ache in your lower back.

But they didn’t help the irritability. Or the complete lack of patience you harboured. Or the cravings. Or the need to drown yourself in oversized clothing.

Joe had noticed.

Oh, he had noticed.

He noticed the lead up to it as well, your PMS, but didn’t want to ask. Didn’t want to check if he was right, because asking if you were on your period after you snapped at him for something you wouldn’t have pointed out at any other time, was exactly what would get you to snap at him.

But then, when he wanted to throw on one of his hoodies, he noticed that the one he pulled out of his wardrobe wasn’t his.

You had the same one, just a size or two smaller. The women’s fit slightly different from his.

“Hey, I think this is–” Joe’d walked over and stopped in your doorway.

You were sat on your bed, one foot on the floor and the other pressed into the mattress as you put on the coziest pair of socks you owned.

“Yea, that’s mine.” Joe pointed right at you. “This one is yours.”

You looked at what Joe was holding, then down at your own frame, and you knew he was right.

“No, it’s not.”

But you weren’t going to admit that you might have mixed them up when you’d done laundry the other day. His was baggier. Easier to hide yourself away in. Large enough to curl your knees up into, if you wanted to.

And, you wanted to.

“Yes, it is, look,” Joe took hold of the hoodie in his hands by the shoulder seam, held it in front of him to show how short it was on him.

You didn’t care.

You weren’t going to take off the hoodie you were wearing just because Joe barged into your room with wild claims about you having made a mistake.

No.

You had.

But... no.

“Looks fine.” You said dryly, voice flat, facial expression completely neutral.

“Looks fine? What– oh, my God,” Joe huffed, and just to show how right he was, he moved his arms into the hoodie to put it on. “Can’t even get my shoulders in properly, see, watch this,” Joe made a show of stretching the fabric, pulled it over his head and pretended to get stuck a second.

When it was fully on, you saw how it was obviously not Joe’s fit.

Because that was your hoodie.

Made sense.

You just stared at him, both feet on the floor now, shoulders slumped, and Joe made a face, eyebrows raised high, as if to say, see?

Um.

Could Joe not read the room?

You said it looked fine.

When Joe didn’t budge after you just blankly stared at him a minute, you audibly sighed. Let it rumble in your throat to really make sure Joe understood what an absolute bitch he was being, and started taking an arm out of a sleeve to take it off.

Fine.

“No, you don’t–” Joe sighed, huffed a laugh, and you froze. “You don’t have to take it off, just, that one’s mine. Get it back to me later.”

And somehow, that just pissed you off even more.

“Well then why the fuck make such a fuss about it in the first place?” you raised your voice, brow furrowed deep, clearly annoyed. “My God, Joe,” you grumbled, sticking your arm back into the sleeve and getting up.

“All right,” Joe indignantly spat back, expression wild, clearly not all right with the way you were speaking to him.

You frowned at each other a second.

“What?” you snapped when he didn’t say anything.

Joe looked ridiculous in your hoodie. It had eaten up half the hem of his T-shirt underneath, exposing some of his bare stomach just above the waistband of his jeans.

“What?” Joe mocked you, high pitched voice and all, and you were sure it was meant to showcase your vile attitude and make you turn it down a notch.

It did the opposite.

“Thank you, Joe, for letting me borrow your clothes and not being a real dick about it,” Joe said pointedly, and then changed his facial expression into a wide grin that nearly squeezed his eyes shut and responded to himself with a much nicer, “Not a problem, you’re so welcome.”

You blankly stared at him once more, and then winced a little when you felt the faint sting of a cramp that managed to push through the painkillers you’d taken earlier.

You needed your hot water bottle.

“Thank you, Joe,” you spat at him, angrier than you meant it, and you were about to walk around him, to make your way out of your room.

But Joe blocked your path by moving to the side an inch, just enough to stop you in your stride.

He raised a well-meaning hand, was about to touch you on the arm or the shoulder, you didn’t know what he was going for, because you slapped it away before he could make contact. You used flappy hands that slapped his hand and arm several times. Made Joe flinch, duck into his shoulders and step aside.

The snort of laughter that startled out of him made you actually want to hurt him. You weren’t being funny.

“Are you being se–”

You used both hands to shove him, just for good purchase, making him lose balance and step back to catch himself. It felt a little like how you used to fight your brother as a teenager, big difference being that Joe wasn’t fighting back.

Joe called your name after you when you walked out.

“Leave me alone!” you called over your shoulder.

And you’d meant those words then. Felt a little like you were 16 again.

You were achy, and bloated, and in pain, and not in the mood for any of Joe’s usual goofy shit.

But regret came shortly after. Because you definitely weren’t 16 anymore.

You found your hot water bottle and filled it up with the hottest water your tap could manage. Shoved it into the kangaroo pocket of Joe’s hoodie and felt how your lack of patience for everything and everyone also meant you didn’t have any of yourself.

You didn’t actually want Joe to leave you alone.

And, had you had the patience, you would’ve moped around for a bit. Would’ve drowned in your own pride for ages, because normally, you were stubborn like that.

Not now though.

You didn’t hesitate to make your way back over to Joe’s room, where you found him in front of his wardrobe in his T-shirt. His bedroom was messy, clothes sort of... everywhere. Some on the floor, some piled up on a chair in the corner. Your hoodie laid discarded on his bed as he pulled another from a pile. Standing in his doorway, you just watched him and waited, and felt how your lip pulled into a sad pout all by itself.

Joe had put on his hoodie, one that actually fit him this time, before he even noticed you were there. When he did see you, he sighed at the look of you and then comically gave you a pout of his own as his head dropped to his shoulder.

Then you just looked at each other a second.

You could’ve easily said you were sorry for that bullshit you just pulled. This was the perfect moment.

And Joe would have easily accepted it too, you knew.

But you didn’t really have to say the words.

A lot of things went unsaid between the two of you.

And this was one of them.

“All right,” Joe said definitively, like he’d just decided something. He looked around, bent to pick up some clothes, and said, “Go on, I need to get this sorted. I’ll join you in a minute.”

There was no need to hide your smile.

Cat that got the cream.

If you hadn’t had hot water sloshing around in your pocket, you would’ve skipped over to the sofa.

You let yourself fall back into the corner of the L-shaped sofa and it was only about a minute later before Joe walked into the living area and closed the door of the hallway behind him.

“Do you want some tea?”

“Ooh, yes. Big mug, please.”

And whilst you scrolled through Netflix's new releases and asked which one’s Joe hadn’t seen yet, Joe put the kettle on and prepared two steaming mugs of builder’s tea, done exactly how you liked it.

This was the kind of stuff Sundays were made for, you thought.

You could do without the dull ache in your lower stomach, but the hot water bottle felt nice and comforting, and now you were going to watch a film with your flatmate. No doubt you’d have pizza for dinner later.

When Joe eventually joined you, he carefully put the mugs down on the coffee table and then turned to grab hold of your knees that he pushed aside.

“Move, this is my spot.”

If you were just going by his tone of voice, you could’ve been fooled he was being serious. His eyes gave him away, though.

“I was sitting there.”

Joe hadn’t even been close to the sofa all day, you thought, but... it worked.

It got you to laugh as you let yourself be shoved aside just enough for Joe to squeeze right into the corner, using his knees and elbows to make enough room for himself. Arguably, it was the best spot of the whole sofa, especially right in the centre of it, where you could feel the sofa cushions curve around your shoulders on both sides. Fighting over who got to sit there made sense.

Joe sat down, wormed himself into place, and it left you pressed into his side with your back, his shoulder digging into the area between your shoulder blades. You felt how he wiggled his bum as he settled before he let out a content sigh.

“So comfy. Are you comfy? I’m so comfy.”

Joe pushed harder into your upper back, and you gave a deadpan stare into space before you swore under your breath and tried to hit him, reaching for him over your shoulder. Playful this time, though. Joe was laughing, and so were you.

He caught your hand, which had no malicious intent, and helped you manoeuvre until you were both comfortable. You ended up with both legs swung over his lap, both tucked into the corner where even without a blanket covering you, it felt incredibly cosy. Joe let both his hands rest on your legs, one on a shin, the other just above a knee, and you took hold of one of his arms to hug, hand curling around a bicep.

“What’s this?” Joe saw a bit of rubber stick out from your pocket.

“Hot water bottle.” You answered, eyes not moving from the TV screen where you tried to read a bit of information on a film you thought looked interesting.

Joe frowned at it.

“Are you cold?”

“No,”

Then Joe frowned at you, stared at the side of your face.

“Just in pain.”

He only hesitated for a second, because ten minutes ago he was afraid to say anything, knew it would’ve likely made you attempt to give him an actual black eye then, but this felt like the moment he was allowed to bring it up.

“Are you on your period?” Joe asked quietly, voice soft and serious, but it made you huff a laugh anyway.

“What gave it away?”

You were well aware of how ridiculous you were behaving. But instead of making fun, Joe turned soft. Asked if you had taken any painkillers. If there was anything else you needed to feel better. If pressing his elbow into the hot water bottle a little, to give it some pressure, helped.

You ended up choosing a film neither of you had ever heard of, and after Joe nearly let you drop onto the floor as he sat up to get the mugs of tea, you settled in properly.

Everything was so warm.

The tea was warm, the heat coming from inside of your pocket was warm, and Joe was warm.

About twenty minutes in, Joe carefully took the empty mug from your hand and chuckled lowly.

“Are you falling asleep already?”

“No.”

You absolutely were. Your eyes were still open though, just slightly drooped and blinking slowly, but you were still watching TV.

You weren’t really following what was happening though, weren’t really watching. This was something that tended to happen when you put on a film that was more something of Joe’s liking, rather than yours.

“I’m not even tired.”

A lie.

Joe didn’t fight you on it though.

Instead, you felt how he turned to you a little before a hand snuck under, into your your hoodie and found burning hot skin, the soft flesh of your lower stomach. When you didn’t flinch at his touch, Joe softly pressed his fingers in and started rubbing side to side.

“Does that help?”

“Mhmm,”

It did.

Joe was a good flatmate.

His soft kindness kind of made you want to cry a little.

The fact that none of your ex-boyfriends had ever been like this angered you to no end. It had always just been mocking jokes and complaints, always stupid comments on how they couldn’t go near you for a week now. You didn’t know how that was your fault, exactly, but it always got treated as such.

It probably took about five more minutes before you’d dozed off completely.

Wasn’t your fault that Joe made everything so nice and comfortable, all warm and nice. You’d argue that the rubbing of your stomach Joe was doing, he solely did to make you fall asleep in the first place.

Which was exactly right.

Joe loved it when you fell asleep on him.

Loved the soft and gentle touches he got to give that made you hum with satisfaction.

Loved that somehow this was just what you did without it being weird. Well it was weird, but only in the best way. Weird without the need to discuss anything, without the need to have an awkward chat about what any of it meant.

It didn’t mean anything. Not in the sense people would probably assume if they knew that you spent your time together like this a lot. But it also didn't mean nothing.

Joe knew it meant something.

To him it did, anyway.

Just... something to be determined later. Or maybe even never. He wasn’t sure.

What he was sure about, was that he fucking loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it.

He could’ve just woken up from the longest sleep of his life, have the energy to power through several days without issue, but having you curl up all pressed into his side? You’d fall asleep so easily, and then what chance did Joe even stand? It would leave him just as drowsy. Nine times out of ten, he’d slowly drift off too.

Which is exactly what happened this time as well.

Your slow rhythmic breathing linked up, two lax bodies sagged into one another for at least a good hour, hour and a half. When you did finally stir awake, it was to the end credits of the film and to cramps that felt like something was quite literally trying to eat you alive.

You groaned at the pain and pushed your forehead into Joe’s arm, muscles tensed, coaxing you to double over.

Joe awoke with a sharp inhale.

“Hey,” he whispered. “You all right?”

“Fine,” you croaked softly, voice a little strained.

You were fine, you know, in the grand scheme of things. Just something you had to deal with in the moment, that you knew would pass within a day. Mostly, it was just very annoying.

“Need the toilet.” you frowned as you struggled taking the now cooled hot water bottle out of the large pocket of Joe’s hoodie and let your legs slide down Joe’s lap until your feet touched the floor.

Joe sat up too, and groaned loudly as he stretched in an attempt to wake up a little more. He blinked a few times before he yawned and watched you disappear into the hallway in his hoodie.

He decided then that he was never going to make an issue of it again. You could wear anything from inside his wardrobe, and he’d make sure to keep his mouth shut. He didn’t even really know why he brought it up earlier in the way that he had done.

You made your way to your own bathroom, your ensuite, where you kept all of your tampons. When you sat down on the toilet, you saw how you’d fully bled through... well, through everything.

“Oh noo,” you called out, loudly, so Joe could hear.

“What?”

“Did I bleed onto the sofa?”

The question echoed through your flat, and you only realised after the words had already reached Joe’s ears that you probably should have been embarrassed to even ask.

You realised then that you weren’t.

Which was weird. But, weird in the best way.

“Yea, a little,” Joe called back, and you made a frustrated noise. Getting period blood onto anything was sort of gross and annoying, but onto a light coloured sofa that was difficult to clean? The most gross and annoying.

That was likely going to stain, and then, from now until forever, you’d see that stain every time you’d sit down and you’d be reminded of that one time when you bled through all your clothes.

When you’d have people over, they’d see.

When Joe had people over, they’d see.

Mortified.

You were more embarrassed for anyone else to see a faint period blood stain than you were for Joe to see a fresh one.

Wild.

You hurried through cleaning yourself up. Found new underwear and leggings to wear. Double checked if Joe’s hoodie was fine, which, thank fuck, it was.

“Sorry, I know that’s so disgusting, I’ll clean that–”

“It’s gone.”

You walked in and saw Joe stand up straight from a hunched position, damp dishcloth in hand.

“There was barely anything there, it’s fine.”

Joe bent down again and gave it another rub.

You just... stood there.

Blinking.

Staring.

“You... you cleaned it?”

“Yea, sofa looks fine. Wet now, though.”

“You cleaned my period blood...” emphasis on the period blood.

Joe looked up, made eye-contact and slowly grinned at your facial expression. Then he shrugged. He didn’t think this had to be a big deal, because to him, it wasn’t.

You were flatmates.

You lived in each other’s flat.

Shared a living space.

Were close.

“Yea.” Joe said all casual as he made his way back to the kitchen, presumably to wash the dishcloth in the sink.

“No worries. Should we get a pizza?”

You confiscated it when he walked past you, though.

He wasn’t going to rinse out your bodily fluids, your vaginal fluids, in the kitchen sink.

That’s where you prepared food, for fuck’s sake.

That dishcloth was going straight into the laundry.

“You’re insane.” was all you could muster up in response to what you’d just witnessed, and Joe just laughed. Didn’t think he was being insane at all. Thought you wouldn’t shy away from cleaning his blood off of furniture if he got some on anything, so why would he be weird about cleaning yours?

You were close.

And sure, ask literally anyone else, and this would definitely be classified as weird.

But, Joe was all right with weird.

Because it was weird in the best way.

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @bylermaxmayfield, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma77645, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mexicanfolklore, @miserybeans, @munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[bigboysfalldeep]

support the troops

I was surprised when Daniel slid into my DMs on Grinder. For a soldier to message me felt surreal. I assumed all of them were fucking around with their girlfriends while stationed at home. He was pretty upfront with me about the whole situation. Daniel said he needed to let out some steam and basically asked me if he could use me as a simple tool—an easy way to vent.

I felt weird at first, but something about him made me agree to meet at my place. It was easier for him, and I couldn't disagree. When Daniel arrived at my place, I was even more surprised. He looked handsome in his pictures, but the real one was even more imposing. Still in his uniform and carrying a bag, he entered my home, looking for my bedroom.

I made sure to clean it and remove my dirty laundry and shoes. But Daniel didn't care. He tossed his bag to the floor and turned around. His eyes immediately wandered all over my body, but he didn't seem satisfied. With a low grunt, he ordered me to undress, and I did. It felt as weird as it was exciting. He even smelled good—musky, but good. His body tested the limits of his clothes. All those workouts paid off.

My dick was already hard, and my hole was ready to welcome his cock, but at first, he looked at me again before shrugging. "Not impressed, but it had to do", was something flashing through my mind. I felt embarrassed, but then he smirked at me. My whole pale body turned red, much to his amusement. Without much hesitation, he undressed as well, exposing his well-formed physique.

His abs were so beautiful, defined, and hard that I would have loved to touch and lick him. Follow his hairy treasure trail with my tongue. But the look in his eyes told me not to. I wasn't supposed to even look at him like that. Disgusted, he ordered me to turn around and lie down on my bed. And I did it without questioning anything.

I heard his belt opening, and his tight pants slipped down his thick thighs. His dick hit his skin a few times, accompanied by a low grunt. He must have felt good and in control.

And he was. I tried to turn my head to look at his member with my own eyes, but he stopped me. Easily, he grabbed my neck with one hand and pressed me into my bedsheets. Right away, I let out a long moan, and my dick started leaking all over the place. I couldn't help but whimper once he entered my body with his thick pole. It hurt—so much pain and pleasure.

His deep groans and my high-pitched moans filled the air all around us as he started to thrust into my widening hole again and again. Daniel didn't even acknowledge me at all. For him, I was just another sex toy, a simple means to an end. He kept on fucking me for what felt like an eternity. His dick penetrated me, hitting all the right spots. He was so long and so hard, and his throbbing cock made itself feel at home. Daniel growled like an animal. Like a bull, or something even bigger and more feral. Feeling his hand on my neck and the other on my waist, I felt pain rush through me. But at the same time, I felt better than ever before.

I already came twice when his entire body got stiff and rigid, filling my hole with his steaming cream. Exhausted, I lay there, panting, while his hands ran over my back and his finger along my spine. Now he seemed to care, at least a little. Daniel's entire demeanor changed. He turned soft, like all of this pressure had left his body. His wet cock left my body, making me moan loudly again. And when I turned around, I caught him fondling it lovingly.

Then, however, he asked me something that changed my life forever. "You want to support our troops, right?" He said it eagerly and teasingly while getting dressed again. I enjoyed watching him tuck his member into his briefs, covering the package with his uniform pants. I didn't even notice him staring at me. But he just repeated his question, with his voice even deeper than before.

Our eyes met again, but he changed. They were so shiny, and his voice was so smooth; how was that possible? What was he talking about? Was he asking me to be his fucktoy? But that wasn't it. I was unable to form a coherent thought, and he knew that. He put his shirt back on and asked me one last time. His eyes pierced my mind, and I was speechless. Support the troops. Any way possible.

I nodded slowly, and he smirked. "Good boy." He licked his lips and grabbed his bag, pulling out another uniform. It was dirty and smelly, and just by the looks of it, it hasn't been washed in ages. "This is for you." Daniel grinned, and a spark of mischievous joy flashed in his eyes as he tossed those clothes at me.

Instinctively, I caught them, and their smell was even worse. Was I meant to wash it? Or wear it? I didn't know. I opened my mouth to ask him, but something was already happening. Those clothes were radiating some sort of energy, a warmth, which engulfed my hands at first, but it was spreading quickly. I was trying to ask for help, to yell, but my body didn't obey me anymore.

In fear, all I could do was watch my hands and arms transform. They turned flat and changed color rapidly. That uniform was taking over my body, pulling me into its fabric. Panicking, I looked at Daniel, who was happily watching me, enjoying my despair. He crossed his arms in front of his massive chest before lowering one hand, touching his member through his clothes.

As more and more of my body turned into fabric, he started to jerk off through his pants. He loved watching me cry out in agony. With all of my power, I started to scream, but as much as I tried, I couldn't fight it.

It didn't even hurt as much as it tickled, like multiple hands sliding across my skin at once. Suddenly, I blacked out. Too much pressure, too much stress.

When I came to my senses, I felt myself getting lifted into the air by a pair of beautiful, masculine hands. It was Daniel who looked at me with a playful grin spreading all over his face. As he talked to me, telling me about my new life in his sweaty uniform, I felt his hands enter me and touch me like no one had ever before. If I still had a cock, I would be leaking heavily by now. It felt sensational, free of any problems I had as a human. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew he was happy with me, which caused me to vibrate rhythmically. I wasn't even mad when he pushed me into that old military bag. It felt right, like my new home.

I got used to the smell pretty quickly and started to appreciate it. He washed me from time to time and wore me nearly every day for training, target practice, and missions. Feeling his skin press against mine, smelling his strong musky scent, or humming to his racing heartbeat—yeah, that was my new life. It got even better when he started to tease me, wearing nothing underneath me, so I felt his muscles, nipples, and, most importantly, his dick imprint through me. When I was lucky, he even pleasured himself through me. Anytime he came into me, he made me think about his steaming cream flooding my tight hole.

I sucked him dry—sweat, cum, or blood. No matter what he threw at me, I gladly took it. That was my job, and all I could think to say was.

Thank you sir.

[catsteinbooks]

The Thin Dark Duke of Hell

Haven't actually written a meta before, but I've been mulling this around in my head, so here's my take on why I think Crowley is likely to be a Duke of Hell in season 3.

Reason 1: it makes narrative sense

From a story-telling perspective, it's the logical starting place for season 3. Especially if we consider how the original idea was developed as a sequel to the book.

There's no body-swap in the book. Neither Aziraphale nor Crowley has heard from "their sides" at the end, so technically they're still connected to Heaven and Hell. They haven't been punished or kicked out. They even speculate that maybe everyone will just pretend it didn't happen.

And now we're approaching the Second Coming. The Big One. "All of us against all of them." Where are our heroes? Well, time has passed, things have happened. It's reasonable to think that maybe they've both been promoted. (Crowley, in particular, is often getting promotions, usually for things he didn't do.) And story-wise, they're set up as opposite numbers, so it makes sense that their positions as the sequel story begins will be of similar status.

Applying this concept to the screen version, we know Aziraphale has been offered the Supreme Archangel position. Therefore, if Crowley is to be his counterpart, he has to have a high rank in Hell. And there's a Duke of Hell opening to be filled. (Sorry, Shax, I think Crowley's going to snatch it out from under you.)

Reason 2: it fits Crowley's character

"What?!" you shout. "Crowley hates Hell! He turned them down! He doesn't want to go back!"

Correct. He doesn't. But he will if he thinks he needs to. Because he and Aziraphale have a huge, defining commonality: they love Earth and Humanity and don't want it to be destroyed.

Yeah, Crowley will probably wallow for a while. He deserves some time to get insanely drunk and cry. Sort of like he did when he thought Aziraphale was dead in season 1. But the thing is, Crowley always comes back. He's always ready to run. He always threatens to run. He hops in his car and drives somewhere. But he never actually leaves. Because there's no point in going away somewhere without Aziraphale. And that hasn't changed. If Crowley ran away now, he'd still be miserable, but without any music or whisky or his Bentley. It would be... pointless.

So what's a heartbroken, grieving, furious demon to do? Vent his pain in the best possible way: thwarting everyone and everything who hurt him and took away the angel he adores. He knows what Heaven is planning, because he saw it in Gabriel's file. He doesn't want Earth destroyed, he doesn't want Heaven or Hell to win. And he has an opportunity to sabotage the whole thing from the inside.

Which leads us to...

Reason 3: Crowley has a way into Hell already

There is a great meta here about Crowley's conversation with Beelzebub in Hell and its potential season 3 impact. The TL;DR version is: Crowley DID technically find Gabriel, and Beelzebub promised him anything he wanted (including being a Duke of Hell) in return.

Is it a somewhat dubious contract? Sure. Would that stop Crowley? *snort laugh* The demon who makes up legal clauses on the spot to save humans is well-equipped to argue his way into Hell's highest position in order to save the entire world. It's probably much easier than driving a flaming Bentley all the way to Tadfield.

So where does this leave us?

Aziraphale is up in Heaven, ready to burn it to the ground. You saw him when the Metatron mentioned the Second Coming. That was not a happy angel ready to do what he's told. And, frankly, Aziraphale is not actually capable of doing what he's told IMO. No matter how much he tries to follow the good/evil dynamic, he ultimately ends up choosing what is Right over what is Good.

Crowley in Hell would be doing the same kind of thing, albeit in a more subtle, sneaky way. After all, he spent 6000 years thwarting Hell all over the place and getting away with it the vast majority of the time. He knows how to mess with them. (And can you just imagine what would happen when demons like Eric asked him questions and he answered them?! He could gather his own little army with one Suggestion Box.)

So when shit hits the fan, as it inevitably will, we'll be left with both our ineffable heroes (gn) poised to do the exact same thing: destroy the machine from the inside.

Even if some of the other fan speculations prove true (memory wipes, for instance), I think it still makes narrative sense to have them both in equal-but-opposite positions. Because no matter how much the enemies are trying to mess with them, if you take a certain angel with an opportunity to fuck up Heaven and a certain demon with an opportunity to fuck up Hell and you bring them together (which, let's be honest, has to happen no matter what the storyline is), it's going to be pretty darn epic.

[cassiesdevblog]

~Shmovement~ in Grey Area

Hello goober goblins! Grey Area comes out ~September 15th~ and I wanna make some posts going over my involvement with the project 👁️👁️

I joined the project back in March because, while playing early builds, there were a million things, big and small, that I wanted to be able to polish up to really make the game shine, and my top priority was Hailey's movement

Grey Area is a game where beginners will mostly play inside a small range of velocities, but, thanks to @bisthefairy, there are ways to build and maintain greater speeds, so Hailey's movement has to be tuned for both small-scale, precision platforming and large-scale, broader movements. Plus, as most of the level design was already finished when I joined, all my changes had to work with, rather than against, the established design

General momentum adjustments

When I first joined, there were a few ways that slow and fast play would clash with one another. For instance, Hailey had low air friction. This was nice at higher speeds, because you should be able to briefly release the d-pad to shave off a little speed without getting rid of all of it, but it didn't mesh with tighter sections where you'd be asked to land precisely on small platforms

Luckily, since the smaller range of speeds Hailey usually stays within is well defined, I was able to just dramatically increase her air friction while not pressing a direction, only while inside that range.

Unfortunately, this led to a small problem: There are lots of spots in the game where you're meant to bonk off a wall and land on a platform. Where you could previously do this without having to hold a direction, you now had to hold back a little or Hailey wouldn't make it. To fix this, I just made her use the old friction during a bonk. That may seem unintuitive, but the bonk is all about Hailey bouncing back off a wall, so it feels natural for her to travel further. In practice, the discrepancy doesn't feel like a discrepancy.

Dive momentum changes

Hailey's main mechanic is her dive: a burst movement option that lets you speed straight forward. You can cancel out of the move at any point, cutting off all your momentum. However, when I first joined, Hailey would keep a small amount of the dive's momentum after a cancel. The intent was to let you keep the flow going even after a cancel, but it led to lots of overshooting in a game with low margins for error. I preserved the original way if the player is holding in the direction of the dive, so you can still keep your flow going, but if you're not pressing a direction, Hailey will instead cancel all the momentum and drop straight down

Release cancel (aka, half the reason I joined the project)

These subtle changes have made Hailey much more reliable to control. It feels much easier to translate your intent onto the screen regardless of how fast you're going (September 15th btw)

Speaking of intent, I've had a big impact on this game's controls! The first time I ever played, the dive could only be canceled by releasing B and then pressing it again. I felt this was really cumbersome and I barely felt in control, so I wanted to cancel by just releasing B

This was controversial though, as everyone else preferred the original way, so I instead suggested being able to cancel by pressing back on the d-pad, as it felt instinctual to hold against the direction of momentum to cancel it. I also suggested being able to press down to cancel, since a player might think of it as dropping Hailey down. Fortunately, both were implemented and the game became a bit more comfortable for me, but I couldn't get the idea of releasing B to cancel out of my head

Later, when I finally got my hands on the project, release cancel was the first thing I added, and it felt just as right and perfect and natural as I imagined it would. I figured, if I just made the other devs play with it, they might see the merits of it and change their minds. Tragically it didn't change any minds, but I was ultimately able to persuade Alayna to make it an option in the options menu. When you play the game, especially if you don't like how cancelling is controlled, please please please try changing "Press to dive" to "Hold to dive" in the options menu and join the church of release cancel. We have plenty of room :')

Other controls

I've made a bunch of other small changes to the controls too! Generally, I like every button on the controller to do something, so I mirrored a lot of functions to previously unused buttons. Hopefully this makes the game feel more responsive and playful, as well as a little more accessible! I also made it so Hailey sits down when you press down :) It's one of only a few graphics I drew for the game! (did I mention September 15th btw)

The Bounce 👁️👁️

I've saved my biggest (and most iterated upon) change for last >:3

When Hailey dives at smaller enemies, she'll bounce off as if she goomba stomped them, which cancels her dive and allows her to dive again. I added this because I thought the sick tricks and possibility for advanced play were too sweet to pass up. Not to mention it just seemed like fun. Plus, it would add exciting counterplay to some previously unexciting enemies. It's a simple mechanic, but it underwent a lot of changes!

Firstly, it used to work on almost every enemy, but it didn't feel right against bigger monsters. We ended up deciding that Hailey should only be able to do this against enemies around her size, so in practice, this mainly comes up with the Golch enemy. When I first played, I found the Golch really annoying, as the best and safest strategy to deal with it was to just stand and wait for it to fly toward you so you could jump on it. Now, you can dive right at it and pull off sweet tricks instead! This has ended up making room for tons of cool skips and it feels great >:3

I even redesigned the Golch's flight path so that it will usually be flying at your exact elevation (it moves faster vertically than it does horizontally to accomplish this) so you can more consistently dive straight into it

I also made it so that bouncing off an enemy clamps your speed within a relatively small range, as otherwise you would carry the momentum of the dive and easily fly off into a pit

Now, in my mind, this all worked perfectly, but then disaster struck

@zombielesbean, who uses press cancel, would try to press B to cancel right before running into an enemy in order to avoid it, but would press a few frames too late and instead the input would happen after Hailey had bounced off the enemy, so she'd dive again and accidentally fly off into a pit. We tried a million different avenues to resolve this, but all of them were significant downgrades to the mechanic

Fortunately, Alayna found that the issue was only happening because of the enemy placements in one or two spots, and after adjusting them, it was no longer an issue, so fortunately the best version of the mechanic got in >:3

So yeah!!

Those are a few of the ways I've cleaned up and improved Hailey's movement since I joined! I've gotten my grubby paws all over every bit of this game in a similar way. Cleaning things up, tuning numbers, adding effects, making things more clear, overhauling things, enhancing the flavor

A huge takeaway from this project for me has been that polish is a full time job!! Every little bit of polish seems small on its own, but when you add them all up they can make the difference between a decent game and a total banger. It just takes a huge amount of time to accrue all those tiny things. I think that's why they say you should triple all your time estimates on gamedev...!!

Fortunately, I have a good eye and a strong passion for all those little things, so I feel like an extremely valuable asset on this project, even though my hand is largely invisible and it takes long-winded posts like this to even explain what I've done

As Bis puts it, "Cass did for Grey Area before release what Sonic modders do for Sonic games after release"

~September 15th you vibrant fools~

[mermaidchan05]

Vesuvia Weekly: Where the Familiars Got it From

Hello I am once again here to take a prompt meant for humans and give you Familiar Shenanigans

Have some bullet-point headcanons for the things the familiars got from their humans!

Faust

(insert Knifecat face here)

Faust and Asra grew up together, so the two of them learned a lot from each other.

In both the best possible way, and an oh no kind of way. 

Faust’s penchant for mischief absolutely comes from Asra

Both of them take naps in unexpected places.  

And Faust also has a slightly hidden side of wanting to be fun and fancy and sparkly. 

We all know how outlandish as Asra’s fashion sense is. 

Faust loves to be just as eccentric. 

Cover her with bright and colorful flowers and her happy wiggles will knock most of them off

(But it’ll still be adorable)  

She will find a way to exchange a sand bath for a glitter bath. 

And heaven help you if you ever open up some paints. She will plop her tail right into every single color and make a mess.

Malak

Aside from the obvious leaning towards dramatics

(Which absolutely came from Julian)

Malak actually really likes music

It’s something he only really got to learn about himself after becoming Julian’s familiar. 

He will sit there whenever Julian breaks out the vielle

Sometimes he’ll try to “sing” along. To... varying results.  

And just like Julian, Malak also likes to accessorize.  

Do not deny him his fun little hats. 

He will get revenge if he does not get to wear his little hats. 

Chandra

As another pair that grew up together, Chandra and Nadia have a lot in common. 

They can and will give you identical Stink Eyes 

Chandra has grown to have a taste for some of the finer things in life.

She’s also just as elegant as her  human

And Chandra is equally generous to those who have earned her trust 

Chandra has also adopted Nadia’s love for things with intricate moving parts

Chandra systematically destroys certain toys, not out of boredom or a hunting instinct, but because she wants to know how they work

(She does tend to leave a mess behind every time, but no one really minds) 

Pepi

Pepi has absolutely adopted Portia’s talent for snooping. 

Some of that, admittedly, is the fact that she is a cat. 

Cats always have a habit of getting into things they shouldn’t get into.

But for Pepi it’s more than just exploring. It’s a mission.

She will be the cat to find the best nap spots, and nothing can stop her.

And since Portia had a habit of whispering some of her secrets (and some of the juiciest gossip) to Pepi, Pepi is also surprisingly good at secret-keeping. 

If she thinks it’s something important, Pepi will not divulge said “important” information at all. 

This does cause a few problems when it comes to something like Portia misplacing her keys. 

(They were left behind in the bread basket, and Pepi saw it happen, but keys are important, so no, she will not reveal anything) 

Inanna

Muriel and Inanna are both survivors

But they’re also both protectors. 

Once they have opened up to someone, well, that someone is now officially in their pack. 

And both of them will do almost anything to make sure their pack is safe and sound. 

The two of them share a deep connection to the forest as well, one that can’t be truly defined. 

And though Inanna is generally more open than Muriel, and it's a bit easier to earn their trust, she has still mastered Muriel’s exasperated people are the worst expression.

Mercedes & Melchior

Whatever else people may say about Lucio, he actually is good with animals 

Especially his hunting hounds 

He’s got them doing much more complicated tasks than average house pets 

But he definitely spoils them. The same way he himself wants to be spoiled 

They all have very particular grooming routines and are equally pouty when said routines aren’t followed through.

And Mercedes and Melchior both have a sweet tooth, just like their human. 

Whether or not familiars are actually allowed to eat things that are Bad for Dogs is still up for debate. 

Lucio doesn’t actually think they’re his familiars yet, so he won’t take that risk on purpose, but at the same time he won’t scold them too hard if they get into the secret dessert stash.

[biguyonline]

‘Toru’s Girl

Pairings: Satoru x (Fem!)Reader and Suguru x Satoru x (Fem!) Reader

Rating: Explicit 18+

Warnings: Reader is called girl, and girlfriend but is never physically described (besides having eyes lol), masturbation, possessiveness, mentions of inflicting pain, cursefucker!Suguru, mentions of likening oneself to a monster, Suguru smokes a cigarette, Satoru being an asshat. Space cadet, melodramatic Suguru experiencing a bisexual awakening and a breakdown.

Summary: Reader and Satoru Gojo are a new couple, Suguru Geto finds himself jealous of his friends for more reasons than even he knew. Follow Suguru as he unearths his deeper (darker) feelings for his friends.

Notes: All characters are aged up, it’s Jujutsu Tech College over here y’all. This entire fic is inspired by the shower scene, you know the one. The idea for this fic came to me while listening to this song. While writing it, I also thought of and listened to this song and this song.

Satoru is his friend. Suguru stood staring himself down in the mirror, having to remind himself. Sobering himself to his situation. The water on his body cooling, having met the air. It beaded up in his hair and rolled down his back. Grounding himself in his reality. His feet were cold on the tile floor of the bathroom. Satoru is his best friend. The only person that has been here for him. Satoru is the only person that’s been able to help him get used to the sorcerer world, this reality. So much has changed and it keeps changing. There’s nothing left to hold on to. Suguru’s awareness came back to the sound of the faucet still on. He watched the water hurdle down the drain. This time the change wasn’t hard to define. But that didn’t make it any easier.

Suguru watched your eyes, they were glued to Satoru. All while Satoru yapped on about some nonsense that probably only you could pretend to stomach. He could see his reflection in your eyes. The way the morning sun showed off the twinkle in your eye, Suguru could tell that not only did you want Satoru, but that you are just as much of a smartass as him. He could see the love, desire, and the smug comeback you had for Satoru all before the words left your lips. Suguru could stay lost in your eyes, if they would ever meet his gaze.

“Hey, man!” Satoru snapped his fingers in Suguru's face. “Are you sleeping enough lately?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Suguru shrugged and leaned back in his seat.

“We’re getting ice cream before I have to do a field assignment today.” Suguru couldn’t tell if you were rubbing it in his face or inviting him to be a third wheel.

“Come with us, get out of your dorm. The rest of your day is gonna be boring anyway.” Satoru’s gorgeous smile was full of teeth that were going to fall out of his head if he continued to let his sweet tooth take charge of his diet. Not that Suguru found himself to be one to talk, he had a collection of unhealthy habits. Maybe that’s what’s left of their humanity.

"I've got something better to do today than rot my teeth with you two.” Suguru lied. “But I'll make time." The smile he faked felt real for a passing moment.

Suguru walked behind you and Satoru on the way to the creamery. He'd gone with Satoru countless times before you started tagging along. So why was he the one "tagging along" now? He watched your hips sway as you walked. It made him sick. He couldn't help but imagine your hips rocking and swaying on his best friend's cock. Satoru's arm around you began to wonder. Groping you in public?! Satoru would be so audacious. The way Satoru's arm fit around you so well left a lonely spot around Suguru. In that moment Suguru wished someone would hold him like that.

You and Gojo split some obscene pile of sugar. Chatting, giggling. You were animated as you talked, it wiggled the booth Suguru was sharing with you. The side of your body rubbed against his. Suguru wanted to plant his hand on your thigh to steady you, to feel you. Suguru questioned if he’d ever find someone like you, or if he’d have to take you. Suguru smirked to himself, he could have you if he wanted to. He fought away the thought. Suguru felt dirty for wanting you so badly. You belonged to Satoru, and as much as Suguru tried to respect that, he couldn’t accept it.

Suguru found himself playing along. Pretending that you and he could share Satoru, that you and he could be just friends. He couldn’t find another way to have both you and Satoru in his life so why change things? He wouldn’t lose his best friend just to have you. Not in his right mind. It was painfully sweet to have the both of you at his side and yet just out of reach. There was no reason to tear down the dynamic you and Satoru had built. You were happy, and Suguru thought he could learn to be. Suguru pulled himself from his thoughts when he noticed the tone of the discussion had changed.

“You mad?” Satoru taunted you. “As far as I can tell, you don’t have an argument.” Satoru winked at you before going back to his side of the sundae milkshake you were sharing with him. Suguru found it hard to tell when the two of you were flirting or arguing.

“Satoru, you shouldn't pick on your girlfriend. You’re hardly hearing her out.” Suguru tutted.

“Who else am I supposed to pick on then? You?” Satoru challenged Suguru, a sugarcoated shiteating grin spread across his face. “Ya think you know how to treat my girlfriend better than me?” Satoru’s words cut deeper than he knew.

“That’s enough.” You put your foot down. “This has nothing to do with what we were debating” You rolled your eyes. “I was enjoying our discussion until you two derailed it. I’m the one who’s going to have to go deal with some cursed spirit later, can we please just have a nice time?” You reached out and touched both their hands. Suguru smiled and his heart fluttered when you smiled back.

“It’s irrelevant that curses exist in context with the regular public, when they can’t even see them. What does it matter that they see us?” Satoru cleared his throat and settled back into the discourse the two of you were having.

Suguru recognized his age-old gotcha question and it was Suguru’s turn to roll his eyes. But he kept his opinions to himself this time. Having already argued that very topic into the ground to no avail, he opted to watch you try your hand at it while enjoying his milkshake.

As the two of you continued to talk at length Suguru couldn’t help but start to compare himself to Satoru, and wonder what exactly it was you saw in his best friend. Satoru is smarter, and very handsome in a different way, but Suguru judged himself to be much more charismatic, polite, and in touch with his emotions. All things Satoru lacked. Satoru is shameless, rude, but admittedly confident. Satoru’s confidence and jovialness were definitely his charms. His unique looks were captivating. Satoru has those gorgeous eyes everyone knows about but Suguru wondered if anyone had seen them as up close and personal as he had. Surely no one else has felt how soft Satoru’s tousled hair is, except maybe he’d have let you. So many things are effortless for Satoru, and the long and lean form of his body accentuates his grace, Satoru has poise when he wants to. Other times he does come off as lanky and awkward, its purposeful Suguru supposes, he does it in an attempt to be humorous. Which Satoru is not so effortless in. Suguru treasures how hard Satoru tries to make him laugh.

Suguru shook his head. He lit a cigarette and sighed out his first draw as he watched you kiss Satoru goodbye. You split away from Suguru and Satoru disappearing into the sea of pedestrians, it was just the two of them now. Walking back to campus together. The heartbeat of nostalgia was flatlined with melancholy. It stung in his chest. The ache of carrying unspoken feelings used the smoke in his lungs to tie a knot in his throat. He felt like his hands had rope burn from holding on to old times.

“You could be here with me right now.” Satoru hinted, a small knowing smile on his face.

“What?” Suguru stammered, only having heard pieces of what Satoru said.

“You’ve been stuck in here more recently.” Satoru jabbed his finger at the side of Suguru’s head. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Satoru shrugged.

“No worries.” Smoke trailed from Suguru’s mouth.

“Yeah, because you definitely do all of that for me.” Satoru wrapped an arm around Suguru’s shoulders. “Maybe I could try doing some of the worrying for you.” Satoru offered.

“No, I’m fine.” Suguru instinctually pushed away what was happening as he started to get overwhelmed. Satoru’s eyes wandered behind his heavily tinted glasses. He noticed Suguru’s body language changed into something he didn’t recognize. Timidness? It didn’t suit Suguru at all.

“Then pretend I didn’t say anything.” Satoru sighed. His hand trailed down Suguru’s side. Suguru felt like he was trying to play it cool while a snake wrapped around him. Satoru’s hand settled on Suguru’s hip and Suguru let it stay there.

Suguru’s white knuckle grip clenched the sides of the sink. He thought maybe if he looked hard enough into the eyes of this alternate self standing in front of him that then maybe they could swap places. Maybe then, life would be easier. Life would be different. Why was he here alone in his dorm room? Especially now, when there was a chance in that alternate reality he was peering into, he was in Satoru’s room. No, in this reality he chose to be alone with his spiraling thoughts. What was that? He asked himself for maybe the thousandth time because his feet were too heavy to walk next door and ask Satoru why he did what he did on their walk here. What didn’t you see in him that you saw in Satoru? What did Satoru see in him? A friend? Or something more? How would that make you feel?

Wasn’t love supposed to be what you and Satoru had? Not whatever feeling was happening to Suguru. Still, the more he felt like a monster the closer he felt to finding what this feeling must be. Suguru often liked to think about his feelings. He liked to find the logic in them, to make sense of things, to make things right. He never thought it’d feel so good to feel wrong. Suguru was never one to let go of his senses. There was always a point, always a cause, always a reason. Something deep inside him was calling on him to let go. Maybe Satoru had finally gotten to him? Satoru never had a cause, never stood for anything but himself. Satoru had you because he was selfish enough to claim you as his. What was love if not the jealousy inside Suguru that had grown large enough to eat you both?

Suguru’s hair stuck to the back of his neck. He pulled his hair into a bun to get it off of himself and peeled off his damp shirt. If he kept thinking about you and Satoru he was going to have to shower for the second time today. His thoughts waivered, flickering between lust and intrusive memories of different exorcisms he had performed. What if he could exorcise you like a curse? What would you taste like? What would Satoru taste like? How would Satoru feel inside him? How would it feel for the two of you to be utterly consumed by him?

“Fuck.” Suguru groaned low and breathy when he finally acknowledged how his body was reacting to his thoughts.

Still frozen in the eye of his own storm he could hardly bring himself to move. His hand at his side slowly drifts towards his core. He sighs again as his fist wraps around himself. His hips instinctively rut against his hand. Suguru hisses through his teeth, he opens his eyes he didn’t realize he had closed as he tries to bring back a part of him that isn’t just an animal. He settles against the cold tile wall of the bathroom, tightening his grip when he decides to fully give in to himself.

He pulls himself free of his pants and already beads of precum throb out of him and flow through the spaces between his fingers. His muscles twitch and his breath shakes as he tames himself. He starts a rhythm that’s just steady enough to appease himself. His strokes have a twist to them, like he’s wringing the precum out of himself. He moans, biting his lip hard enough for it to sting.

Maybe Satoru had you, maybe Satoru wanted you, but Suguru needed you. Suguru could feel himself losing who he thought he was. Nothing would make sense anymore without you, without Satoru. That’s why he needed you, why he clung to you. That’s why he’d dig his nails into you until he drew blood, just to hear you scream his name. His cock pulsed in his hand at the thought. He scraped his thumbnail up from the base to the tip, following the engorged vein up his shaft.

The sounds of pleasure bounce off the bathroom walls, echoing around Suguru. He was surrounded by himself in more ways than one. His movements become sloppier, his rhythm increases to a brutal pace, the same way he imagines he’d fuck you. Overpowering, all consuming, a force you’d be powerless against. Suguru could hear you brainlessly begging as he fucked you stupid. He bet Satoru never hurt you, but he would, and you’d love it.

Suguru’s movements became erratic, his chest heaved and his mind raced. He was reaching a fever pitch and balancing on a razor sharp edge. He could feel the ghost of Satoru’s hand on his hip. He could see in his mind Satoru knelt before him. Suguru envisioned you next to him with a look of post-orgasm high kissing up and down his neck, all while your boyfriend Satoru sucked him off. Satoru was so high above everyone. Satoru was unreachable, and untouchable. If Satoru ever stooped down to Suguru’s level, Suguru would make him live to regret it. If it was a fair fight, Suguru would win. If Satoru ever showed a shred of humanity Suguru would crush it between his teeth and revel in the feeling of it oozing down his chin and neck. He’d make Satoru what he knew he was really born to be, the strongest curse of them all.

Suguru’s breathing stuttered at the thought of the two of you becoming curses, and living under his control. The two of you belong to him. A low moan rattled his chest as he came hard. Thick ropes of white cum spurt onto his chest. One lands on his chin, another on his chewed and swollen bottom lip. His tongue lazily swipes it up as he opens his mouth panting to catch his breath. He groans and peels himself off the wall. Leaning forward he turned the faucet handle to start a shower.

[frostwing213]

I keep getting a lot of Elain stuff popping up on my dash. Mostly about shipping, and I'm like:

How'd this girl end up in a love triangle????

People are very opiniated too, fighting over and making essays about it. There's Elain/Az and Elain/Lucien (There's also Az and Gwen, but I understand how Az got in a love triangle.)

I'm just, struggling to care. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Elain, I just find her kinda boring. She doesn't do much. She feels like that classic fairytale princess that looks pretty and sad in a tower.

Off the top of my head, these are things that define her (Without being linked to men, becase I'm not there yet. Plus, a female character should be able to stand on her own without the men in her life)

She gardens and is primiarily associaed with flowers

Pretty

Nice

Weak

She kinda killed the king of Hyburn

Didn't want to be a fae

kinda wishy washy

Achreon sister

Quiet

Her sisters want to protect her

Future seeing powers

And I'm out of ideas. From my point of view, she doesn't have any discernable personality. Her three major defining things when people think of her are: Pretty, flowers, soft.

She doesn't act for herself, she doesn't speak up. She goes with what happens and gets sad when she doesn't like it. (Becoming a fae was traumatic, and I understand her reaction, but I don't really like it. AND I HAVEN'T EVeN TOUCHED ON THE GREYSON[was that the human dude's name???]THING YET!)

So, when the books start, early ACOTAR. Archeron sisters are in the woods. Feyre is the only one doing something to support the family. Who is Elain in this book? Pretty gardener. Delicate. She isn't doing anything. Some can argue Nesta isn't either, and as a Nesta Supremist, I have to say she was willing to get married to someone cruel to make it easier on her family, and although that isn't much, it's still something. What does Elain do in this book? Be pretty. Please, someone give me an example of Elain doing something constructive and I will edit it in. Please.

Moving on. Next book. She... hosts the house along with Nesta. Oh! She's engaged to a fae hating guy (Who i think is named Greyson. I can't remember and I'm currently loaning out my 2nd and 3rd book, so I can't check rn). Uh.... I don't remember if she does anything else until the end, where she is captured and dumped in the caldron. We find out Lucien is her mate. EDIT!: As @devi1sange1 pointed out to me, Elain did stand up to Nesta about using their house as a meeting spot for the queens. She also takes responisblty for how they treated Feyre. 2 points for Elain. I give her those

She shows up more after that, so I'm not doing book by book, but she gets dumped fast by her fiancé and hangs out in the house of wind, being very sad. I almost wanna describe her as floaty, because she's acting like a ghost, just existing and mourning what is gone. This is a vaild response, and I understand why she responds this way, it just annoys me because she has not shown any autonomy so far. Anything. I think I remember her asking her ex-fiance to take in humans, but that was after being pushed by the inner circle. Uh... she gives a few prophecies, yay that. When the fighting starts, she stays on the sidelines, which I don't blame her for. She kinda kills the king of Hyburn. I think that's all she does in that.

After that. What does she do? Other than hang around??? I DON'T KNOW!

Elain shows no real drive! She exists and sometimes does stuff to push the plot!

Now onto the (possible) romantic interests she has.

Greyson: Uhhhhh, they like each other. She likes her because she's sweet and pretty. I didn't catch anything else between these two. Uh, he dumps her as soon as she's fae and she gets depressed over it

Lucien: Mating bond. She doesn't like him, I get it. He tries to back off. I think Lucien acts responsibly in this situation. Elain is at no fault in this situation either. Mating bonds don't always pair up the most romantic pair, and it doesn't always work out well. Honestly, I never saw much chemistry between these two, and if not for the bond, they likely would have forever ignored each other.

Azriel: (Random, but I searched him up on tumblr because I couldn't remember how to spell his name, and WOW, there's a lot of Azriel x reader. Yall really 'like' him) How, just how did this become such a popular ship? I never even caught this on my read through. Yeah, Az is nice to her, but he's nice to anyone considered friendly. He's just as nice to Feyre and I don't see anyone shipping those two. I just... don't get it. Is it because we want the sisters paired up with the bat boys? Is that it?? I don't understand. I see no chemistry. It's just two people being nice to one another guys.

I think those are the major ones. I don't understand any of them. Lucien and Az are such powerful charters, while Elain is... 'pretty flower girl'.

I don't hate her, but she kinda annoys me with how much crazines she's getting with people shipping her. Wanna know what i think would be great? She ends up with no one romantically. She has friends, just no romantic partner and that is perfectly fine. Lucien will live. If there's nothing between Az and Gwen, then Az will live.

To wrap up, I find Elain to be a pretty boring charter, I just feel indifferent towards her. I love the other two siblings, but I feel like Elaine could have been improved.

Feel free to talk to me about this! Throw out your own opinions! Give me edvince that supports or opposes any of my points! Correct me on stuff and ignore my spelling!

I love a good debate! Give me one! Please.

Interact with me.

Edit!: Thanks for interacting! I swear I'm reading everything! I just didn't expect this to blow up so fast!

Another edit: Thanks yall for interacting! I'm really enjoying reading the responses and what people hope to see coming from Elaine in the future!

[tspud-whiteboard]

[Full Previews, Final Files and Extras can be found on GoogleDrive!] !!! THE DEADLINE HAS ARRIVED !!! (End of June it was) I am currently working on putting together the final files, but as this might take a while, YOU CAN STILL KEEP SENDING ME YOUR FELLAS! Once I’ve prepared the actual, finished, fullsize versions, this pinned post will unpin itself and I’ll put a different one here, with the final previews, the download links and some information what the future may hold... maybe I’ll do a Season Two if the interest is there. But we’ll have to see about that. For now, [SUBMIT MORE] like the wind while you still can! Hello, hello! Welcome to The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe Whiteboard Collaboration (a just-for-fun fan project)! I’m assuming that you found your way here because you’re well aware what The Stanley Parable is, and that you are curious to know what a Whiteboard Collaboration might be about!

Let me cut straight to the case then. It all started in 2023 - the 27th of April, to be precise - which just so happened to be the One Year Anniversary for the release of The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe on Steam and consoles, along with the historically very important and internationally renowned - or at the very least grudgingly accepted - 4/27: STANLEY DAY!

To celebrate the occasion, and only one day too late on the 28th, an idea came forth to put together a Whiteboard, containing all those Stanleys by all the fan artists out there (all credited, of course!), a worthy tribute to the Man of the Hour! And as you can see... we’ve already got quite a few collected!

But why stop there? Since plenty of people also came up with their own Narrator designs, and there’s a good few Timekeeper-Settings-432s and Curators, and plenty of other characters (defining the term loosely here), we might as well give them all their own little space to look absolutely dashing next to each other! Imagine, all those different designs, united in one glorious collection!

My point being... I’d love to see yours in there as well.

So... how can you join in?

The gist can be found up there in the first image, but let me also put it into text form down here, with some extra information:

[Submit] your Stanley, Narrator, 432 or Curator mugshot (or all of them at the same time!). You have [some other canon TSP favorite]? Go ahead, submit ‘em, too! We’ll find a spot. The format of the picture needs to be 300px (width) x 400px (height) to fit with the others. I can resize and cut them into shape if needed, but it’ll be easier on all of us if I don’t have to do that. All pictures will have a small white frame added by me afterwards, to give them that authentic printout flair.

Should the [Submit] button not work for you (I triple-checked and it works for me, but then who knows what this thing does while I’m not looking), sending your artworks through PM or tell me where you posted them is fine as well!

AUs and all art styles are fine! Please only submit one picture per character (if you have more than one design, maybe pick your favorite, or elegantly squeeze them into one picture. If you absolutely cannot decide, sending two pictures per character is okay, but I’d like to cap it there to give everyone equal amounts of space.

Must be Safe For Work!

This is also very important: Tell me how to credit you! Your name will go under your artwork, I do have to put something there. I’ll likely default to your username if I have nothing else to go by, but it’s best if you directly tell me, right there in your submission.

I will publish your submission(s) on here as soon as I’ve added it to the queue, so you’ll know it went through okay, and so you can show it around to others if you wish! (I can’t do that with PMs, of course.)

THE DEADLINE: Please try to submit your artworks before the End of June! Yes, 2023. This month. In this year. There’s a chance I’ll change this if a sudden influx of new entries rolls in, but as of now it looks like it’s a good time to start wrapping this up. I want my life back and all. ...But prove me wrong, why don’tcha? Why not tell your favorite TSP artists that they NEED TO BE ON THIS THING? NEED TO! WE CRAVE THEM, PRECIOUS. ...Sorry, got carried away there.

I give updates regularily. Previews of the latest Whiteboard statuses, questions that need answering, sometimes I might just add some nonsense rambles, all inclusive, for free.

The FINAL files, whenever they’re ready, will be 8000x4000px in size each and are mostly a much bigger version of the previews, with maybe a few small changes for the aesthetics.That’s quite massive. Humongous. It’s really impressive to browse all those artworks next to each other at that size. Here’s the [Google Drive] link, for all to download from and share around. So far, you can always find the latest Previews and a bunch of random Extras there, along with the first fullsize Stanley board as a test. Please do make suggestions if there’s better options, or if you can’t drive the Google.

I also post on Twitter and the Crows Crows Crows Discord server (fanart channel). If either of those are more comfortable options for you, or if you know someone on there who might also be interested in joining this collaboration, maybe poke me so I can give you directions. Or you might be able to find it yourself, I’m not actively hiding them away. Not even passively.

I think that’s all for now! If you have questions, suggestions, reservations, my Asks should be open. Looking forward to hopefully a lot more additions to the Whiteboards, there’s quite a few of you guys I’d loooove to see on there!

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 45

chapter 68:

1. “Some of those ashes could be Marlene.” bro wtf

2. listing out the names of the people who died in war destroyed me

3. james reacting to his father’s death by flinching away from effie had me broken. i’m destroyed. unwell

4. “The worst part is, when he says what he does next, it's not even a question. "After that, you're leaving."

Sirius' eyes flutter shut, and he croaks, "Yeah, Reggie, I'm leaving again."”

SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING IM UNWELL I WILL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN!!! I WILL NEVER BE FINE AGAIN

5. “”Sirius, I love you more than anything. You're the first person in this world I ever loved at all. Not Mother, not Father, not James; it was you.”” STILL SCREAMING STILL CRYING STILL SOBBING STILL UNWELL

6. okay just all of the stuff with the black brothers has me in tears. their bond is unbreakable and my heart is in fact very breakable. i’m shattered over them

7. dorcas hasn’t left that spot in over twenty four hours and boy am i worried for her. she needs water. she needs to go pee, i’m sure. she needs to eat something and to rest

8. “Just not afraid to die, then?

No, I'm rather used to it, actually.”

STILL SCREAMING OVER MARLENE!!! STILL SOBBING ACTUALLY

9. “"You. Even you," Dorcas declares harshly, glaring at her. "I'd rather it be you. Instead of her, I'd rather you be dead."”

WOAH! hold up!!! i love marlene as much as the next gal, but nobody goes after my girl lily. she fought and fought and fought as well. she deserved to make it to this side of war too! she tried to keep marlene alive too. hold your horses dorcas.

10. 😧 did you just shoot my lily??? MY LILY??? holy fucking shit. she’s insane.

11. “Some of that blood must have been Marlene's. Dorcas wishes she had bathed in it; Dorcas wants to turn back time and drown in it.” 😟 i’m worried

12. “Never, through any of this, did [James] imagine losing his dad.” kill me. it would be more merciful than making me live after reading that

13. “Monty loved Sirius like a father did; Sirius is allowed to mourn him as a son would.” calling my freind again while sobbing brb

14. god I don’t know how to explain it, but every time pandora is mentioned and she’s alive i let out a huge sigh of relief

15. AROACE PANDORA SUPREMACY

16. i’m so horridly upset that lily lost almost everyone. she lost her family, she lost sybil, she lost kingsley, and dorcas tried to shoot her, so i’m pretty sure she lost her too. lily tried to not love anybody because she was scared of losing them, and sure enough, she was right

17. i get upset when everyone talks about going separate ways. i want everyone to live in one big town and live right next door to each other. i’m thinking hogwarts vibes (except better, ya know) or maybe the mansion they all lived in at the start of ahb!

18. as much as it upsets me that sirius is going to be leaving james and effie and regulus, i’m genuinely so happy that sirius is going to stay with remus

19. oh. i see why sirius has to leave. it’s best for everyone to heal a little before sirius sees his james and regulus again. because otherwise they won’t be able to heal

20. i love wolfstar, and this is so emotional but like, “Just—for right now, what I need is to be with you. I want—that's what I want.” all that does is remind me of high school musical with the “ALL I WANNA DOOOO IS BEE WITH YOU! ONLY YOU! NO MATTER WHERE LIFE TAKES US, NOTHING CAN BREAK US APAAAART, YOU KNOW ITS TRUE, I JUST WANNA BE WITH YOUUUU”

21. ““I wish I did love him that way," Regulus confesses, "because it would have been easier than this. It would have been easier to define how losing him feels, but it's not. James, it's not."”

god, i ache for him. like so badly. i so badly want him to have barty back. more than any other character. (sorry to marlene and monty and sybil and literally everyone else who died)

22. “It's still been three days since the end of the war, and Regulus wonders when they'll stop measuring the passage of time that way.” 😟

23. “Doomed to be a great, big tragedy.” *eye twitch* i’m fine. *even bigger eye twitch*

24. look, i know in the future, everyone will be together again and as happy as they can ever be. but rn, i’m sad

chapter 69:

1. “"I don't care!" Aberforth shouts. "I don't give a damn about your fucked up love story with our sister's murderer, Albus! The fact that you even came to love him to begin with sickens me, let alone that you continued to after he killed Ariana, and still do to this day!"” hell yeah put him in his place

2. “The dead sister card is a little underhanded, admittedly, but Aberforth knows a thing or two about manipulation tactics. He'd have to. Albus is his older brother, after all.” LMAOOOOOO

3. lily mentioning children and sirius and remus just locking eyes and panicking was so fucking funny. bro i’m wheezing

4. BRO AND THEN REGULUS BEING LIKE “you’ve??? never thought about kids??????? wtf??? me and james are having four you little loser??????”

5. dorcas just marching in has me so fucking scared ngl

6. oh god, dorcas became the president coin in this. she wants to make a new hunger games. oh god. oh no

7. as horrifying as it was to see sirius’ train of thought, him being the first one to say no is so fucking satisfying oh my god

8. good for remus fucking standing up for lily. everyone is blaming lily, and finally remus speaks up that the blame cannot rest on lily alone

9. 😧😧 not albus suggesting the jegulus wedding to help with the aftermath. bro he’s fucking insane. it’s so hallow-like of him to suggest that oh my god

10. oh my god dorcas has gone insane, is she about to tell everyone how albus was in love with grindlewald. that’s fucking insane oh my god i can’t wait

11. oh my god it’s even better. it’s that he came up with the rule for the quarterly quell. oh my god this is gonna be great

12. 😧 holy shit. sirius just killed albus. imma be so real, i expected one person to not leave that table, and i thought it would be dorcas, not albus. i thought she would be killed

13. minerva asking lily to be a medic and help save albus, and lily just not will forever be iconic to me

14. as a punishment they banned sirius from the hallow 😭😭😭 babes they knew they had to come up with some punishment as like a way to show actions have consequences, but they chose one that sirius would love 😭😭 that’s so funny to me bro

15. alberforth finally leaving his home is a very satisfying character arch

16. “this story is, first and foremost, about siblings—primarily sirius and regulus ofc—like that is the whole point of this fic, the core of it over anything else. and that feels right considering the source material, like in thg, it was always about katniss' love for prim and how important that was over peeta or gale or anyone else. and i just. i really adore that, and hope i paid a good homage to that, because i really admire it.”

you did. you did pay homage to that. it was abundantly clear that this was about siblings. and i love you for it. thank you, if you see this

alrighty six more chapters to go! i’m in the home stretch yall