#it was.. kinda fascinating?? but i was a tiny bit weirded out as well????

[hunsa-jars]

The wedding was funnnn, golly I feel woozy

[suffarustuffaru]

Hey, how are you doing? Firstly, i'll understand if you choose not to answer this ask since the subject is controversial and kinda heavy

We currently have at least two pedos in the story, like, actual pedos (the guy obsessed with Liliana and the creepy butler that i forgot the name) and then tappei's writing in some things is just... weird?

I get that subaru and beatrice are supposed to have a sibling relationship, but it just weirds me out

And he keeps adding loli characters with questionable designs too

What is your opinion on this? Its something i manage to ignore, but it still weird me out a little

hi anon!! :o thanks for asking how im doing pfft im doing pretty well - though i am a college student and its This Time of Year (end of semester) so im hanging in here lmao 👍

also ok as for the topic at hand!! yeah no i 100% hate it. ive been thinking about rezeros flaws lately because the further you get into watching/reading rezero the Clearer it gets. its mostly fine at say, arc 1, but by the time you get to arc 5 or arc 8 its like. What the hell. This again?? so yeah its 100% understandable to be weirded out and uncomfortable by it because tappeis writing is frankly Gross sometimes.

(okay also yes this ask has minor or major arc 5+ spoilers yes and also. You know. detailed discussion regarding rezero sexualizing children.)

yeah so tappei writes problematic things into rezero regarding both women and children especially, and while theres exceptions its like. very Prevalent in rezero. i talked about it a bit in my last ask if youd like to check that out!! but yeah like. i hate how children are treated in rezero. its very Problematic a lot of the time.

tappeis writing follows very similar patterns regarding treatment of children and women that you see in a Lot of other anime/manga/japanese media - and media in general, really, but im sure most anime watchers / manga readers will know what im talking about because its unfortunately That common. we're all seen this. like fan service shots, lolis and shotas, etc etc. but rezero is a little more insidious i think, just because tappei is capable of writing good characters regardless of age or gender. and theres Less of stuff like fan service - or at least rezero is a little less obvious about it or its just seen less in rezero, but thats also because media in general is so in your face about it and Unfortunately Common so rezero looks like a tiny bit of paradise in the middle of a barren desert.

i mean look at the amount of people who've thought rezero was a harem anime until they watched rezero - rezero seems like an outlier but thats only because its just a tiny bit less gratuitous and it still has a lot of good writing. and also because i am pretty sure the bar for media like this - especially media in rezeros genre (isekai) is Extremely Low. like depressingly low. and despite rezero being a deconstruction of isekai, rezero also contradicts its own damn messages sometimes about treating others like the People they are, respecting others Personhood, treating women well, etc. and its easy to see that the moment you look at some of otsuka's artwork and designs for rezero or if you look at all the rezero merch mainly based around the girls and Sexualizing the girls and its like. my god this is a little depressing to look at. rezero is just a tiny step in the right direction away from say, misogynist shounen/seinen media thats also weird about kids or something, but then rezero trips and falls on its own face after taking several right moves.

the problem is that these problematic aspects are still there, theyre still clear to see if youre paying attention, and often character arcs start well but then fall flat despite the good foundation. and then the problematic aspects hammer the already Poor/Inconsistent Writing into the ground which it makes it Even Worse.

like louis is a great character. shes fascinating, really. and then you hit arc 7 and she regresses immediately into the mind of a toddler so we only get to see her amnesiabaru/Suffering From Rbd arc in arc 6, her confrontation with subaru, and then BAM its arc 7 time and now she is an entirely different person????? i remember raging the further i got into arc 7/8 and realizing she hasnt gotten any development, she just changed instantly. it just feels lazy to me!! unless tappei proves me wrong and writes her developing but right now louis has spent two goddamn arcs being subaru and rems loli prop/daughter prop/a plot device to use in battle, basically. okay sorry i got passionate there but i SWEAR it gets on my nerves a bit. the louis/spica conflict now would feel so much more thrilling if she didnt have her weird half assed arc 7 development.

like if i was really in the fantasy world, of course i wouldnt vote to kill spica, shes innocent now. she doesnt know shit about her crimes, shes a whole other person now. she didnt do those things. she is an innocent child. i did a poll on this a while back actually haah and yeah a lot of rz tumblr, including myself, voted to let her live for this reason!! but also like. narratively speaking. i do not care about spica at all. shes a blank slate, shes just there to move the plot, she is taking up space in the plot right now and she does not need to be here forever. i 1000% want her dead hah. yeah shes this cute little kid now, but again, she got zero development. why should i care about her?? all the interesting things about her in arc 6, all the potential that couldve happened out of her gradually going from her arc 6 self to someone who genuinely cares about rem and subaru is gone. If we actually saw this change, personally id care more about spica and be invested in her character but as it stands im really Not. and i think if we saw her actually Develop a lot of us readers would be more invested to see this conflict out - not only because our Favs are fighting over it, but also because we’d actually care about spica. Like. im not sure how many people actually care about louis past arc 6, but yeah thats just my personal thoughts on it.

And also the Other big flaw with louis’s character is tappei once again being creepy regarding kids and. Okay im gonna show an excerpt from the arc 6 WN (iirc ch60 to be exact?) and yeah fair warning because it is once again sexualizing a child (louis). But also im putting it here in case anyone wants to see some vivid proof of rezero being weird about kids. Im not sure if this was cut from the LN version or not but the fact that it exists At All makes me want to put tappei on a watchlist.

And okay i know you might be thinking about how louis represents the sin of gluttony anyway and gluttony includes sexual or romantic desire too and how having louis, who looks like a child, say this makes it even more Offputting - like. Yeah. but is it Necessary? because making louis, WHO LOOKS LIKE A CHILD, say all this and then use descriptors like “expressed a bewitching smile unsuited to her age” - is this Actually necessary? You have to be careful writing this sort of thing, because a child/character who looks like a child saying things like this due to being, you know, Mentally Unwell, is different from Emphasizing What Theyre Saying By Sexualizing Them via the narration and descriptions. And why is the sexologist line there?? its just frankly uncomfortable, to an unnecessary extent, i think. I just dont think we need all this emphasis on louis’s body, louis’s apparent “arousal”, or how her smile is “unsuited to her age” (this is the narrative once again sexualizing a child), and plot-related sex/sexual content in rezero is kept to a minimum anyway so you could also literally just have louis be weird about “loving subaru” without the sexual aspect. Because she literally just said that she was aroused by him. she looks like shes twelve at most and then in the arc immediately after this one she regresses back to having the mentality of a toddler!!! and then shes subaru’s daughter there.

And again, i know that the whole point of this scene is to be off-putting and disturbing and wrong in all sorts of ways (and also subaru tries to kill louis a page later so like.) but i think if youre going to keep the appetite=sexual desire detail (which IS a good point about gluttonys nature, on its own), then this scene absolutely needed to be handled better than what we got when the character saying this is a child. you can write a child sexualizing herself because shes frankly Unwell or Doesnt Know Better, because this is fiction and you can write sensitive topics like this with proper care, but if you, the author, are sexualizing this child, then that is a Whole Other Thing.

or you can entirely dodge this whole debate over whether or not this is actually okay to write by making louis look older. but tappei went with this route once again in a sea of rezeros various child characters despite the fact that tappei then decides to link sexual desire to the sin of gluttony, which is a sin occupied in rezero by three children. I know ley has a very traumatic backstory, and the specific details are escaping me but iirc he was likely a slave or something along those lines, with implications that hes been abused by adults, so you could delicately handle what kind of abuse he Couldve unfortunately had to go through, and also of course roy and louis are clearly not okay in the head either, but. Once again. Children in rezero Not Being Sexualized in some way is a rarity. Unfortunately.

you see this pop up again and again and again. petra? Yeah iirc theres a side story where shes weird about subarus underwear. Correct me if im wrong on that but also i would not be surprised if that was a real side story. Unfortunately. Also theres Uncomfortable lines regarding petras chest.

according to rezero wiki, schult is… well iirc al makes creepy comments about schult being a shota (and of course this isnt really called out in canon), and theres also these two details about schult:

also regarding sin archbishops who look very young, capella represents lust and yet she also looks like a child. i know the point of her design is to make her a bit grotesque, but you can get that point across without making her look fifteen years old at most. this is the sin of lust too. and shes already called “Mama” in canon—she doesnt need to look that young!!**

also side note about pandora. she also looks like a child, which—its okay with her, except for the frankly lazy outfit design imo?? why is she wearing a bedsheet??**

** another edit: its easy to see capella and pandora as women also, but again, tappei and otsuka In General keep mixing up short/young women and Children and it should be easy to tell if pandora and capella are children or young women or not. but i dont feel that its clear enough given tappei and otsuka’s Track Record.

and typhons design with the see through skirt is so creepy and disturbing that im Really glad the anime fixes it most of the time. heres the fixed version:

but also the anime Really doesnt fix it as much as it probably should, because her dress is Still see-through in some shots. you can even see a bit in this shot—we dont need to see her lower body area like That!! this skirt doesnt need to be see-through!! and the bar was already in hell anyway because otsuka makes typhon’s skirt Really see-through.

theres also this photo of typhons design and its Way better without that see-through skirt.

granted, there is some good child character designs—felt’s arc 1 design frankly sucks though purely because of the way her outfit is handled. like its Really bad. it takes only like one look to see that. but her arc 5 design is a Huge Improvement:

characters like meili, schult, child subaru, etc have good designs too, but you know, this doesnt change the Creepiness regarding children, because this also applies to subaru and Some Lines about him in arc 8 iirc. if i find them again ill talk about it another time (or if someone else finds it feel free to add on to this post?) but yeah just. urgh.

regarding felt again, theres a scene in a felt camp side story where she wakes up naked in bed, post arc 1, after reinhard kidnaps her to his mansion. and yeah, the whole point of the scene is to show reinhard is kind of dense and bad at reading social cues because hes still trying to talk to her very civilly while shes covering herself with the bedsheets and she Literally just got kidnapped by him, but, say it with me, she doesnt need to be naked. she couldve woken up in bed in her usual clothes and the point still wouldve come across!! WHY is she naked??? shes fourteen.

and also like capella, liliana looks like a child. and of course theres kiritaka, as anon said, whos obsessed with liliana, and then theres clind, the creepy butler. and of course tappei has “deniability” because lilianas not Really a child (she STILL looks like one), and clinds not Really a pedophile, he just likes youthful souls!! (this is literally disgusting.) and clind may have interesting lore or whatever about how hes kind of involved with the sin archbishop of melancholy but i just dont give a shit about him when hes a pedophile that tappei keeps excusing.

also mimi? mimi is a Special Case.

the thing with mimi and her brothers is that its implied in the kararagi girl and cats eye side stories that kittypersons (??) are fully grown by age 1. theyre rescued from dying on the streets but they insist theyre “fully grown” (at age 2-3). they havent changed physically at all. and they dont change physically at all later, because now in the Present Day they all look Exactly the same as they did when they were 1, 2, 3 years old. did they grow mentally???? theyre like 14-15 in the main route. and then you look at aganau route from the lost in memories mobile game which takes place around twenty (??) years after arc 3, and mimi is a grown woman and she looks exactly the same as she did when she was 14 or 2 years old. and then this makes her romance with garfiel a little weird because hes a normal fourteen year old??? but mimis been fully grown all this time??? what??

this is mimi. yeah, she and her brothers look EXACTLY this age their WHOLE LIVES.

and meili? yeah shes definitely one of the better child characters, though she does have an Extremely Traumatic backstory and has had a habit of copying elsa. this on its own is fine and understandable. elsa was her only support and shes a child, of course shes gonna copy elsa. though iirc she also copies elsa’s “flirtatious” aspects, which is honestly also understandable given elsa is a Questionable Influence, but this detail about meili’s character gets worse when you think about it in the context of all the other child characters—

why is it that all the children tappei (and otsuka) keep sexualizing are in the same age range? theyre about 9 or 10 to 14. louis stops being sexualized when she reverts to being a toddler and becomes subarus daughter. felt stops being sexualized when she turns 15 in arc 5. emilia is the main love interest to subaru and shes apparently “mentally 14”?? and shes tappeis favorite character too? but also mimis case is so weird because shes been “fully grown” since the tender age of ONE YEARS OLD?? well also i sure hope im wrong on this point but given the amount of child characters that fall in this age range and also how Often theyre all sexualized and also the majority of them are Young Girls—yeah its. its not a great look.

(and again a side note about meili again—tappei uses similar descriptors that he used for louis: that its “inappropriate for her age” and that she’ll “attract many men in the future”. tappei stfu. please.)

subaru’s lolimancer title is kind of funny. maybe. until you remember rezero being creepy about kids. and also like—i dont like the idea of tying a word like “loli” to the literal main character of the story anyway skdnd. theres just Connotations to it.**

**EDIT: i was told that “loli” is apparently a fan translation thing, while in japanese its “little girl user”, but in an inoffensive way (like Jojo’s “stand user”). make of that what you will!! (not great that the fan translation makes rezeros already poor treatment of kids Even Worse.)

and also—was subaru, al, medium, etc turning into children really necessary?

like in subarus case, its so he can have more ego, more confidence, more recklessness while being nerfed a bit and being mistaken as the emperor’s son—but at the same time, this just feels like a watered down version of the amnesiabaru arc to me where he has more ego, more confidence, more recklessness, and hes nerfed, but then he learns to love himself more. it just feels too similar to the amnesiabaru arc imo. him turning into a child feels very unnecessary imo and it doesnt look great when you remember tappei and otsuka’s fixation on children. literally arc 8 would be exactly or almost exactly the same if subaru was back to his usual 18/19-year old self. but he has to keep being a kid right now because Plot, apparently. then again if anyone disagrees with me on this feel free to explain your stance!! but yeah as of rn i just want subaru to be back to his usual age.

also tappeis weird about young priscilla/prisca and lamia but i havent read the ex novels about them yet so i cannot go in depth 👍 but just know you get nice lovely lines (sarcasm) like “flirty way she caresses her own thighs”. great!!! thanks tappei for fanservicing underage teenage girls once again!!

and again, treatment of child characters / characters who look younger than they are in rezero—this is so so creepy also as someone who does in fact look younger than my age. and im also Very Short (4’11) too. so like. thanks tappei and otsuka!! i feel very comfortable right now 👍

and women are often infantilized in rezero which you can. Easily connect to the pedophilia, yeah. theres also age gap romances in general, and i mentioned emilia already (yeah. emisuba is an age gap romance.), but theres also ram and roswaal, frederica and clind, anastasia iirc gets described Weirdly sometimes because shes a short flat-chested woman, and recently theres been madeline and balleroy having a small moment (that feels. Romance coded. iirc.) in an arc 8 chapter.

they look like this by the way:

thanks tappei and otsuka once again for the creepy writing and designs that actively work against all the good parts of the damn story 👍

on a lighter note, i think beatrice in general + beatrice and subarus relationship is one of the better parts of rezero—iirc theres nothing creepy about it, and beatrice and subaru are very easy to read as a sister and brother relationship. theyve helped each other out in many ways, and theyve grown Very close by the time we see them in arc 5!! you could. Technically see their relationship as a father-daughter one too, but i dislike that take—not for bad reasons, but just because i feel like it doesnt fit them.

the thing with beatrice though is that shes simultaneously A Child but shes also like. 400 years old. so i do wish the narrative balanced that more post-arc 4–not in a creepy way of course. god no. but in the sense that shes mature in a lot of ways!! shes familiar with death and suffering!! shes intimately known Isolation!! that sort of thing. shes the one whos closest to subaru because of how he helped her in arc 4 (“choose me”), and also because she knows about his self-harm and heals his injuries. shes someone who can deeply understand subaru in a lot of ways in this sense, at least. the way they support each other feels more like a sibling bond to me and not a Parent-Child one just because youre not Really supposed to be leaning this much on your child for support. theres a power dynamic to a Parent-Child relationship, and beatrice and subaru are Equals.

plus echidna gaslight gatekeep girlbossed both of them, so theyre also siblings in that sense hah…

but yeah correct me if im wrong on that though regarding beatrice and subaru and im missing something?? but yeah as far as i remember and as far as i can tell, i think theyre actually one of the least creepy parts of rezero hah :,)

and then because this sort of thing is Unfortunately so common in media like rezero, we’re kind of conditioned to try and ignore it so we can keep reading or watching because its Everywhere. i still enjoy some of rezero, but its hard to ignore All Of This. and i think its important not to turn your brain off to it and recognize whats Wrong here, yeah. (unless it makes you so uncomfortable that you have to stop looking at rezero, which is very understandable.)

but yep. thats rezero for you.

[candycryptids]

hewwooo tuesday here's a silly little question for you since your "check it out, frogs!!" blog title always delights me: how do each of your characters feel about frogs? 👀

I *love* Frogs, but how do the blorbeans feel about em...? Well... I had to really think about it TTuTT BUT! Chuu favors mechanical creatures over flesh 'n blood ones, and while her getting to the First is ambiguous and mysterious (being a non-wol, I just try not to think about it too much) She DOES... love the Dwarven Mecha frogs. And. The biggest frog of them all... Formi.... <3 …. So she doesn’t care for frogs much. She has sent Tuesday out frog catching for alchemical ingredients though….

Colette... Doesn't have any feelings this way or that about frogs, really. They're small, they're kinda slimey? but mostly they're just, very small. Except Gigantoads, I suppose, but those are a toad, and decidedly less slimey, by virture of being a toad. The ambivalence remains though! They're not that tricky to fight so long as you know how to wriggle out of their tongue grasp. (I did... take some frog-related Colette pictures tho >:3 I'm just gonna, post em a bit later, since the theme got away from me) Gigantoads make for a decent enough meal so long as you prep the meat right :T the legs are the most edible part yk.

Ishi is much more fond of Poro Roggo's, Matoya's froggy familiars. They're wearing LITTLE HATS ! They wave little canes! They're quite frankly adorable and they have little croaking voices. What's not to enjoy? (And also, there's something really nice about being out in the marshes of Mor Dhona and finding a little frog instead of a Morbol ready to stink bomb you, HAH)

Tuesday shivers when he thinks about frogs (knows the difference between a frog and a toad, still pictures a Gigantoad first, and does not much love being yanked mid-cast from his Ley lines into body slamming range.) Finds just a regular little frog endearing and will get down in the mud and muck to look at it though. Is especially fascinated by frogs that stick to things like leaves and trees and their camouflages uwu He’s the one who likely knows the most about frogs, and would gladly tell you more about them. Probably compares information with Erenville, if they ever meet up in non-life-threatening-situations.

Tangy finds them fun ! If she’s on a walk or a run or an errand and it’s drizzly and she sees a little frog hop across the pathway there’s literally 0 inhibitions in her body that stop her from also hopping or skipping for at least a minute (still on her way, but a frogs leap is so charming. They’re like tiny dragoons! She points this similarity out to Estinien once. Krile laughs, Estinien looks constipated- you know the face.) She also has a weird compulsion to put them into her mouth, though, so if she catches one….. make sure it’s not poisonous. She doesn’t even plan to eat it! They just look like they would fit perfectly in her kitty jaws (she is sometimes correct).

Mochiie had to get used to frog song when he moved to Gridania. The rivers and lakes and greenery abounding let the little critters thrive in a way they don’t particularly on the Steppe. …. He comes around to finding it relaxing and feels uneasy when he doesn’t hear them anymore lmfao. In non-WoL au’s, probably sometimes tasks adventurer’s with catching frogs for alchemical ingredients OR to bring back to the pond he’s been carefully maintaining to encourage the little beepers to live in it. (Btw, his favorite frog singers are the Pobblebonk or Banjo Frog [YT Link], and the Pacific Chorus Frog [YT Link] 🥰)

Levraut…. I’m still not sure. 🤔 I think he’d like them, but he wouldn’t feel strongly about them. He WOULD eat them though. As would Colette and Mochi… I mentioned Tangy liked to stick them in her mouth but actually eating them seems like a waste, since she’s so big and they’re so small. Like eating a blueberry. I can say his favorite frogs would be the Blue Jeans Poison Frog, for their striking jackets of warning colors, and the desert rain frog, whose perfect spherical nature and grumpy face is endearing.

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 31- Part 2

A surprising amount of evolution Stones around here, but I'm not complaining.

Another one-way path…very sus. But I think we've found everything to find up here anyways, so I see no issues continuing.

That's a neat item, but more importantly…I see those green patches leading up the stream there. And if I remember the location of that Read-Out right…

Yeah, yeah, it's up there!

Swamp Field, huh? Not surprised, I knew this place looked like a marsh. But what does this Field actually entail…?

Well, it's the love child of Water and Grass Pledge, that makes sense. And it…sorta benefits Poison-types? Lowers grounded Pokémon’s Speed each turn, damages sleeping Pokémon for some reason…? Gooey, Water Compaction, Dry Skin- those make sense, it's a moist and swampy environment. Smack Down gets a boost and second type? And only Smack Down (well, and Thousand Arrows, but Thousand Arrows shows up a lot on these Fields sooo-)? Seems a bit random…

Some Water moves get a boost, some Poison ones, a few Ground moves…oh, the big physical Ground moves (Bulldoze, Earthquake, Magnitude) get weakened? Fascinating.

All in all…I dunno, this Field kinda feels like it's all over the place compared to previous Fields. At least with the other ones, I could see some sorta theming with the effects and how certain moves react- this one's kinda like that too, but not really to the same extent? It's just…weird.

So close, yet so far- guess I just have to go around.

More Tiny Mushrooms- these would be really great to have if I knew where to actually sell them. Like yeah, I can sell them at the Poké Mart, but you're supposed to sell the Tiny and Big Mushrooms at a certain vendor in Gens V and VIII for WAY more money than you would at the Mart. If this game doesn't have a vendor like that, I'm gonna be very disappointed.

Well at least the rest of these items are good. We're getting up to the Healing t, and…eh, my Pokémon could use some PP restoration, so I'll use it.

Also, I used two of my remaining Exp Candy Ms to get Prong and Bloom up to Lv. 43, because why not. So now, let's see what's up ahead.

Oh hey Aster, wasn't expecting to see you here. Can you move please, I'm looking for Cain-

Oh hey Eclipse, I was expecting to see you here because Aster's here. How long were those two lurking in the bushes…?

To be honest, Xera didn't even know Cain was here going into this, uuh- she just wanted to beat up Meteors, I guess.

So Eclipse is still holding all the brain cells, good to know nothing's changed on that front.

Oh? Oh, you wanna play that game, huh? You two with maybe three Pokémon each, and Xera with a full team of six? Fools. Buffoons. She'll steal your bones.

…Alright Aster, you set yourself up for that one, the saying is “two heads are better than one”-

Alright, starting with those two again? They're probably gonna double into Glare with Psychic-type moves, so let's switch into Kirin to tank I FORGOT TO GIVE HER BACK THE ODD INCENSE. Uh…that shouldn't affect anything in this battle, right…?

Uh- in the meantime, Riptide will just use Water Pledge on…one of them. Solrock generally has worse Sp. Defense than Lunatone, so I'll target that one.

Oh yeah, I already forgot Swamp Field lowers the speed of grounded Pokémon. Hm. But this is manageable- I'll just heal Kirin real fast while Riptide finishes the Solrock. Probably for the best, it seems like Solrock is doing more damage than Lunatone.

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[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 136 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: putting up a new fence.

MELANIE: “Well. I’ve kinda got to… uh. (inhale) I’ve got somewhere to be. Do you mind if – if she hangs around with…?” JON: "Uh, I suppose – Not at all. She’s very welcome." I think it's super cute that Daisy doesn't want to be alone. Yeah, the reason for this is quite tragic and sad... I think this was the episode that made me go "Oh shit, I really like Daisy now!" to 100 %! I love everything about this episode!

JON: "If you don’t mind me asking – where are you off to?" [UNFORTUNATELY FOR BOTH OF THEM, THE ARCHIVIST’S SIGNATURE STATIC RUMBLES LOW IN THE BACKGROUND AS HE SPEAKS.] MELANIE: "Therapy. (surprised inhale) Wait…" I read a post about this once, that the Eye won't chose random information for Jon to suddenly drop into his mind. It's always something bad or intrusive (like suddenly knowing how Gertrude stopped the Sunken Sky. Or how one of Basira's school teachers died). Wouldn't be surprised, if this also got a grip on questions which could reveal a "dark secret". Like here, it wasn't a coincidence that compulsion slipped out with the question. It's the Eye choosing to act on it's own because there's juicy personal information to acquire. There's nothing Jon could have done to stop that, aside from just not asking this question. But that's why he's the Archivist, he always asked this kind of questions.

MELANIE: "It’s fine. I would probably have told you eventually anyway." Uhhh, am I the only one who thinks this line sounds a bit weird...? Especially the "It's fine". This doesn't sound like Lydia at all... Could this actually be Alex??? (Wouldn't be the first time we suspect him impersonating Lydia/Melanie - MAG 103).

"One of my earliest memories is cowering behind my mother, watching Labyrinth of the Minotaur on our tiny television, seeing the clay of the creature move and come alive in stop-motion. It terrified me. It thrilled me. It’s a moment that’s never completely left me. I’ve always had two passions: engineering and special effects. So naturally, the course of my life gradually led me towards working on animatronics. I don’t – care about the other stuff, not really. A squib’s a squib no matter how much you dress it up, and… (inhales) makeup never really wowed me." 1.) Not really-counter of S4: 4! 2.) I totally know that feeling. For me it was Jurassic Park. I guess this is also why I've always loved Stan Winston's work the most out of all practical FX studios and artists I follow. I have no idea about engineering, but I'm good at sculpting and crafting. Naturally, SFX make-up always fascinated me as well and they often work closely together (part make-up / part costume / part animatronics). It's just so damn expensive to make myself, the prices for silicone and resin skyrocketed the last couple of years. I want to make an animatronic mask soooo badly... Luckily my spouse is an engineer and I have a few of tutorials from the Stan Winston School membership, so one day! *fingers crossed*

"His earlier stuff I certainly enjoyed, but… for all my fondness for that – animated Minotaur, his stop-motion work never really grabbed me like his animatronics." You know why stop-motion looks so jerky? Lack of motion blur. That's when go-motion came into play. They'd move the model slightly during exposure of that frame, recreating motion blur by doing this. The dragon Vermithrax in Dragonslayer was the best example for this, but it already went quite high-tech to achieve this. (ILM, Phil Tippet btw.)

"The way Neil tells it, he split from his partner Gabe in 1972, and sculpting for stop-motion had never really had the same charm after that." Gabe... Short for Gabriel. Sculpting, like with Clay^^ Lagorio was like "Yeah, the Spiral is too random for me, I need precision!!"

"I think we bonded on that shoot, sheltering from the rain for hours at a time, watching a soggy animatronic jaguar gradually start to rust." Everybody knows the story of the T-Rex in the rain, right? If not, so they build the T-Rex without the information that it's supposed to be raining in that scene. Well... the foam latex skin acted like a sponge and it got too heavy! This caused the T-Rex to shiver, so they had to dry her in-between shots (there are pictures of people whipping towels at the dino XD). This is also the reason why the roof of the car broke and came down onto the children. This was not planned! But the T-Rex got too heavy so the calculations weren't correct anymore and so it hit that glass roof with way too much force, oof.

OMG wait! Is that my favorite ambiance track there?? OMG it is! I totally missed that it was used here! Episode got even better now!

JON: "Mm, they were… Well, let’s just say it’s not a complete shock there was something unnatural to them." Mr. “watches documentaries for fun” saw a few of Neil Lagorio's movies! Not surprised since he read a lot as a kid, why wouldn't Jon be into fiction?

DAISY: (sigh) "She’s Web. Spider’s sneaky like that. Like that lighter you’re always using; where’d you get that?" JON: "Mm. Good point. We should keep our eyes open. Anyways –" Hahaha, there's even static during "Good point". I can't wait to tell my story about the lighter, it's hilarious.

DAISY: (sigh) "Yeah, well – (sigh) What do you think? You think I’m weak, just – (sigh) – ‘cause I’m not already chasing the next kill? You think I’m less me?" JON: "I – (sigh) I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the… intersection between free will and humanity. (stuttering inhale) I’m still trying to figure that out myself." Those two <3 I'm happy Jon has someone this season who gets him. Who he can talk to. I love their friendship so much...

JON: "My – (large sigh) My memories of the coma are not clear, but I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I – I don’t know if I made the right decision; I’m stronger now, tougher, I can – (he cuts himself off) If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever? I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else, so if I can maybe – stop that happening, and the only danger is to me, I – I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario, the universe loses another monster." DAISY: "That’s messed up." JON: (small laugh) (inhale) "Yeah. I suppose it is." Jon. Stop it. Get some help.

JON: "It, uh – hm – Is it, uh – Weird question, but – I – (sigh) I haven’t seen you in my dreams? The last couple of weeks?" DAISY: "Oh, ah – No, I – I work here now. Figured it seemed to protect the others, so –" That sounded like that relative "I haven't seen you in so long, you never visit me!" XD But further confirmation, that the dreams stop when you're working for the institute.

DAISY: “Boo-hoo, I’m so alone and a monster.” Yeah, those two <3

DAISY: (darkly) "If she doesn’t, I’ll rip her throat out." I love the sound of that line!

Putting that therapy scene into a Web episode was such a mean red herring!

@a-mag-a-day

[mxvladdy]

HI I LOVE YOUR WRITING! aaa sO I don't know if you still accept prompts but if you do could you do one with MC being fascinated by the brothers' demon forms and seeing the brothers react to them carefully inspecting their horns/wings/tails??

AHHHHH I love that you love it! And of course! :) Horns are my weak spot lmao. Hope you like!

Lucifer

Hmph. Isn’t ecstatic about you wanting to nose around in his business at first. No matter how touched starved he is, just the thought of your tiny human fingers exploring him…Well on the other hand-

At first, he thought you had some weird fetish for his demonic form. Wouldn’t be the first time a human had. But slowly he realizes you are genuinely just enamored with him. It strokes his ego sky high.

He loves it when you stroke and pet his horns. The bases of which are super sensitive. The amount of time you have spent just looking at the gold-tipped bone, he is certain you probably have memorized the number of chips and notches in them.

You start bringing ornaments and tassels for his horns. Things you made or found pretty when out shopping. He doesn’t wear them in public but likes it when you put them on him in private.

It takes him longer to let you get your hands on his wings though. Looking at the mess of his back isn’t pleasant for him.

He has a dust bath. He loves dusting, and when you help him. Ugh-it’s like his own little paradise.

He teaches you how to preen and find broken feathers to pluck. Your cooing over his soft feathers just makes him fluff up more.

He shows off his horns and wings just a touch more in public now.

Mammon

Hells yeah you can see his demon form. Why wouldn’t you want to? He is absolutely delighted to have you lovin’ all over him. He’s big on scenting.

He is especially proud of his wings, in all his forms. Leathery or feathery, they are his favorite part of his body. They are strong, reliable, and fast if he needs to protect you.

He makes sure you are extra careful about his horns though. The spirling columns of bone aren’t smooth like Lucifer’s and have a wicked sharp point on the tips. His horns grow a lot faster than his brothers. A lot of his horn upkeep is him shaving them down and oiling them.

You take delight in doing that for him. The keratin of his horns flakes quickly so you like to help with that too.

He doesn’t have much feeling around his horn area so you won’t get too many reactions from him. Now his wings~

He gets a kick out of watching you open and close his wings. You are mesmerized by his leather wings stretching to their full wingspan.

His wings look fragile upon closer inspection. You can feel the beats of his hearts through the thin membrane stretched over black bones. It almost makes you forget that you’ve seen him bludgeon demons to death with them before.

You’re so enamored with his wings you miss how flustered he gets when you trace your fingers around the base of his wings. Right where the limbs attach to his back. It’s a very tender spot that hurts most times when he touches it, but maybe because it’s you it feels really good.

Leviathan

He is apprehensive to have you inspect him at first.

Doesn’t have wings and is kinda jelly. But he has a bitchin’ tail, and you remind him often of it.

His tail is strong. A lot stronger than you originally thought. You can feel the slide and pull of thick muscle underneath his leathery skin when he swifts around.

It took you a while to get him to understand you are 1000% ok with his tail and horns being out, in public or private.

He notices that you can't keep your eyes and hands off his tail. While he never does it in front of his brothers he loves to pick you up with it. Your giggles and gasps of awe, while you dangle above him in his secure grasp, brings a huge smile to his face.

He has the most strenuous care routine out of all the brothers. His tail sheds a lot and dries out easily. It is usually a very intimate affair. Lucky for you, he likes you.

He shows you how to use his dry brush to sluff off the dead skin from his tail and scaly parts of his back. It's therapeutic to him. He talks about his newest hyper fixation while you brush and pet his tail.

His horns are a bit more persnickety. They are made up of a delicate ecosystem of coral and sea vegetation. It’s a beautiful vivid array of purple, pink, and blues. Henry and schools of smaller fish make little homes in it when Levi is in his tank.

It has to be kept moist and landscaped or it gets overgrown. He has a knack for aquatic horticulture and gives you a chance to learn too.

It naturally changes size and color based on the Devildom seasons. Your favorite displays are during the warmer seasons.

You buy little tank ornaments to decorate his horns to post on devilgram from time to time. It gets so many likes he gets so excited.

He wears your work proudly, even if it’s not up to his usual standard. His water monster brethren are jealous of the attention, and that’s what matters most.

Satan

If you bring up your interest in a scientific or educational manner, he is more willing to share. He has had far too many run-ins with witches and humans vying for him to be comfortable flaunting his demon form.

As the only born devil out of the group you have to be extra careful with his horns and tail. The bony structure of them is like fine sandpaper. Rough, course and far too abrasive for your tinder human skin.

You have to wear gloves when handling his horns and tail. He apologizes a lot about it. It angers him that he is the one brother that has to be so careful around you.

You really don’t mind though. Even through the thick leather gloves you feel the pulsing heat of his magic. You like the tingling feeling of his magic through your gloves, it’s like licking a battery.

He doesn’t need maintenance on his horns and tail as much as the others. But his horns do fall off like deer antlers.

He gets really irritated when it’s shedding season. The itching and throbbing of his horns when they are ready to fall off is maddening.

You always know when it is horn season due to the deep gouges in the stone walls around the house. You help him though this by scratching around the bases of his horns. It feels so good to have it scratched, and it’s 10x better when it’s not him.

Normally he would just dispose of his horns when they fall off or use them for alchemical purposes. Now, he gives some of them to you. You collect them and have turned a few sets into some lovely pieces of art in his opinion.

Asmodeus

Very much like Mammon- who wouldn’t love his horns and wings? He loves them, so obviously everybody should.

Absolutely eats up your praise and curious touches. He shows you the best places to pet or stroke.

His wings are leathery like Mammons but 1000x more sensitive all-round. He can sense air currents with them, so sneaking up on him to touch a wing is out of the question. As much as you would like to.

Loves see you try though. Will fake being surprised when you come at him from behind to lovingly touch a wing.

He shows you the best places to touch and examine his wings and horns. His smaller set of wings have this one spot underneath their pit that is super ticklish. When you find it, exploit it. He has the best laugh.

He admits to you that he dyes his horns. What can he say? Pink is the best color and his horns just look that much more fabulous in it.

You can convince him to try different colors, but only if you help him dye them. Starts matching colors and outfits with you and his horn color of the month.

His cleaning and maintenance routine he likes to do himself. Sorry! Nothing against you, but he is too meticulous to ask for help. But please stay and watch!

He shows off a lot more when cleaning and moisturizing his horns and wings. Stretching them out, or making sure his horns are shiny enough to catch the light of his room.

Absolutely soaks up for enamored gasps and wide eyes stares.

Beelzebub

Just shrugs when you ask to see his wings and horns.

Of course, he doesn't mind you touching them. He just finds it odd. Kinda forgot that it's not a normal occurrence in the human realm.

He has no issues with you touching or rubbing on his horns. He doesn't have any feeling in them anyway.

But, unfortunately, you can only look at his wings. The cuticle is very fragile so he can't just flare his wings out whenever he feels like the others.

You find the hard casing that protects his wings just as fascinating though. The iridescent sheen of it is mesmerizing. Your eyes can't pick up all the colors that it gleams, but it's still beautiful regardless.

You have a hard time getting any of the shell bits when they shed. Beel normally eats them and he is much faster than you.

But he will temper himself and save a few for you once he figures out why you are pouting.

His paper-thin shell casing resembles stained glass when you hold it up to the light. You have taken to making a large wind chime out of the shedding of the brother's horns and wings. His chitin is the perfect addition to give the slightly macabre piece some color.

He-and the other brothers find it kinda odd that you collect essentially garbage to them, but they chalk it up to a weird human quirk.

If it makes you happy-*shrugs*

Belphegor

Like his twin, doesn’t get the hype around it. But, if it means you’ll be spending more time with him then he won’t complain.

You pet his tail a lot when he is sleeping. His tail is soft and fluffy. It wraps around you while he slumbers, locking you in place by his side.

He wakes you up by tickling your nose with the tuft of his tail. He teases you when it makes you sneeze.

If you thought his bedhead was bad, wait till you see him struggling with the tangles at the tip of his tail.

You offer to help comb it out. Maybe even convince him to invest in a good bottle of conditioner. He takes you along to buy it and lets you choose the scent.

He has a penchant for cucumber and melon scents when it comes to his detergent and pillow sprays so you keep to that realm.

He cannot express how much he doesn’t care about upkeep so if you want to brush his tail and examine his horns go to town, means he doesn’t have to do it.

Belphie gets addicted quickly to you doting on his form. He sleeps harder and better after a session with you brushing his tail or rubbing at his horns.

You’ve learned just how to massage his scalp and where to scratch around his horns to help him fall asleep. He doesn't realize he does it himself as a self-soothing mechanism until you bring it up one night.

When you hit the sweet spots at the base of his tail or horns he can’t control the twitching and movements of his tail.

[frosted-night]

Toothiana Concept Design Review

As promised, I tried to hunt down every single design of her and I think i got them all. (Or at least most.) It’s the Queen’s turn lets go, starting with her book designs!

According to Joyce, this is one of the earliest designs for Tooth. She started out as a suited human and not as a human-bird hybrid. If you squint you can see a widow’s peak/hairline on her head. She gives me more super hero-like vibes in this one and the peacock feathers are interesting! I can’t say I’m a fan of it. Below is another book design I found that is VERY similar to this one, so I grouped them together.

Rating: 4/10 Glad he made her more bird like.

As a bonus, here is the design for Tooth as a child. Her toy there looks almost like a tooth but I have no idea what it actually is. I like how u can see a tiny curl of her hair under the hat. Otherwise I don’t have a lot of thoughts on this one.

Rating: 4/10 Not a fan but this exists I guess. BUT SHE ALSO HAS A SWORD.

A tooth that appears in the Man In The Moon Picture book. (Heh it almost looks like shes hanging onto Aster’s sleeve here.) I just noticed shes got an F symbol on her bag that she has on the belt of her childhood outfit. She looks kinda angelic here ngl. Very wintery colors. Rating: 6/10 Wish she was more colorful just a little bit

THERE SHE IS. THE FINAL BOOK TOOTH. Her feathers are absolutely stunning and the feather-puffy pants combo is  A LOOK(A good one). The only things I got that bother me is how round her head is at the top. If it had longer feathers that stuck out it’d look a little less weird. And one other thing

Ear Feathers?????? Don’t know why but this AINT A VIBE. Rating: 7/10 looks like a queen and the swords are badass

I cannot stress enough how many movie Tooth designs exist so buckle up.

Starting with a mysterious human looking Tooth, this design surfaced from this post 8 years ago. The original poster claimed it wasn’t from the movie credits and I couldn’t find any other trace of this design so it’s dubious at best. However I included it just in case it was in the movies/plans at some point of production. (I’m a little skeptical but oh well.) I do like how her outfit does look similar to real life outfits of her home region and she just looks gorgeous here.

Rating: Dubiously Canon/10

This one feels more stylistic but damb I gotta appreciate how intricate her feathers look. Looks like she’s right out of a storybook and it’s very appealing.

Rating: 6/10 Not many thoughts just love her

A fascinating one I found in my search. This was one of three designs that had Tooth in a mask but if you squint you can see she has a knife/dagger. So she would have had that blade wielding quirk like her book counterpart. She looks a bit more human in this one(At least in my opinion) The little flared collar is a nice touch that I oddly like. She looks like a fairy queen here for sure. She almost reminds me of a fencer Rating: 5/10 Good but too human

The other masked Tooth! There are, a lot of thoughts I have about this one. The colors are GREAT and so are her wings. Her body however reminds me of the suited Tooth design Joyce had drawn up. It looks almost like shes wearing a shirt with holes in it over a pink one and I just don’t know how to feel about it. Something is just off about this one.

Rating: 3/10 Wings r great throw the rest away

Another rare Tooth. She looks very similar to the one above and still has that mask. Or it could just be her actual head and not a mask this whole time! What a twist. Anyway, given the lighting it’s hard to tell what her base colors were but I’ll work with what we got. She’s a little less colorful looking than the other Tooths so it’s a little disappointing. Her wings are still quite impressive in my opinion.

Rating: 5/10 It’s nice but very one note in this concept image color wise

Now this Tooth is an interesting one. She ditched the bird theming all together and is more butterfly themed. She’s more humanoid here but something about this design just hits a sweet spot for me. It’s very simple but I can’t explain it. Also I’m weak for her head covering/hood(?)

Rating: 8/10 Ignore the very blue white haired Sasuke lookin guy in her arms

Excuse the very poor image quality here. I could only find it in this resolution so we gotta squint on this one. This one.. Call me weak but its one of my favorites. Her puffy pants make a return and they look like actual clothes! Her feather-cloak is a nice touch. I *think* this Tooth has hair if you look close but it’s hard to tell. It works in this design oddly works! Rating: 8/10 No complaints! Just that its so JPEGY AAAAA

Oh man Y’all I

Her energy itself is powerful. This Tooth feels older than the final design and has a very seasoned look to her. Call me a simp I DONT CARE. She’s such a queen here and I can’t get over it

She lives in my head rent free and I will never ask her to pay rent. I’ll PAY HER. If I was forced to pick a favorite Tooth, it’s this one. She has fantasy elements and traits that remind me of an Indian Queen.

Rating: 10/10 Y’all already know i simp for this one I dont need to put anything else here.

The final Tooth having gold feathers to imitate jewelry is just as good so I have no complaints about her. Her eyes are absolutely stunning

They sort of remind me of a mosaic with light shining on it or gemstones even. That and her eyelashes are so on point. I fuckin ADORE THEM. No lash glue needed those are all natural baby. Additionally, she’s very humming bird themed(which is excellent) but her wings actually look more like dragon fly wings

Curious since they are one of(if not the) fastest flying insect. It makes sense when you see how fast Tooth can zip around. It never occurred to me until dragonflies came around this season and I watched them closely. Overall I adore this version of her all the same.

Rating: Macabre Queen of Teeth/10

[compartmentalisinghmpf]

Why I’m so weird about (some forms of) guilt in fic (maybe)

I don’t want to write a big general meta here, just add some personal context to my (no longer quite so) recent “Complicated Feelings” post. Again, just very personal stuff, not a general statement of any sort at all. Warning: going on a very weird detour here - but my feelings on all this are coming from a very weird place, or at least I suspect they do.

This was kinda sorta prompted by my asking myself “why do I respond differently to Bro Strider than I do to various other characters who’ve also done bad shit; and arguably worse shit?” - but it’s really (mostly) not about that at all - though I do come back to it at the end.

In about a quarter century in fandom I think I’ve liked only four or five characters very strongly, in the fannish way (not necessarily always in the “ fan crush” way; but always in the sense of a strong fascination), who have not done terrible things. Other than that handful, it’s pretty much a parade of literal mass murderers there - though one may quibble with the exact term, in some cases. I’m using the word in a very broad sense, here. Ironically, some of them didn’t turn into, or turn out to be that until fairly late into proceedings, and I fell for them well before that, so it’s almost like I have some weird sixth sense. I didn’t know Cooper would get possessed. I didn’t know Methos was a Horseman of the Apocalpyse. I didn’t know John Crichton would start blowing up PK bases. Hell, Ramse started out as the walking conscience of the Ramse-Cole duality!

All of this is to say: these days, I’m really more surprised when a character I am fascinated by does not turn out to have massive amounts of blood on their hands, than when it turns out that they do. It just... keeps happening!

And oh my fuck, I’m German - second generation post-war, old enough for all my grandparents to have been adults during it, which means they probably Did Shit, even if just to the degree of looking away. And yes, this means I don’t actually Know, nobody ever talked about it, especially not the one I suspect saw or did the most, who barely ever talked at all about anything, and died earlyish, after years of dementia. The only one who told me anything at all ever was one of my grandmas, a tiny little bit, the last time I saw her before her death.

Ever since I began to understand German history a little bit, I felt a kind of distance between my grandparents and me.

And still it took me 22 years to realise that there’s quite possibly Something German going on with my obsession with guys who kill a lot of people.

For what it’s worth, the fictional mass murderers I attach to are usually about as far removed, in motivation and execution, from nazis as they could be - with the possible recent exception of Bob Howard, who operates - with great qualms, but also loyalty - in a political context that is beginning to resemble that, though still lacking the genocidal aspect. There’s other important differences there, too, but the differences - like the fact that his actions can, in the books’ universe, actually be justified - bother me even more than the similarities.

See, the characters I tend to like so strongly are usually Good Guys, of some description. Take this with all the usual reservations about terms like “good” or “bad” as applied to actual people; I’m talking about narrative functions, here.

They are, usually, Good Guys gone (or going) catastrophically wrong, in situations where doing something terrible begins to look necessary and justifiable. Maybe, sometimes, is necessary and/or justifiable. (So you might quibble also with the assessment that it’s “wrong”. But I’d argue that it still is, and that that’s important.)

(Notable exception to all this: Methos. He is... always and forever... a special case.)

So. If you make the mental link between these fictional Good Guys making “hard choices”, and my family history (and general German history), it’s all beginning to look... pretty skeevy.

There’s supposedly a  phenomenon among younger Germans, where basically everyone thinks their relatives were in the resistance, and of course, actually almost nobody was. Well, I know mine weren’t, and I never told myself that they were. But what I’m wondering, and what’s making me incredibly uncomfortable, is this: Am I subconsciously trying to tell myself, in this maximally indirect and convoluted way, that they may have felt it was all necessary and justifiable? Is that what’s going on here? I really, really hope it isn’t, because that really, truly, isn’t how the whole nazi thing worked - but it’s hard to be sure what’s going on in your own subconscious, because, well. It’s subsconscious.

Whatever really lies at the root of my fascination, though, I have always been slightly wary of it - long before I even began to suspect that there might be a legitimate reason to be uneasy. I’ve always felt like I was putting my empathy in the wrong place, I guess.

Perhaps as a consequence, I have always been incredibly picky in how, exactly, I like the topic of characters’ guilt dealt with in fiction. And make no mistake about it, I do like to see it dealt with in fiction. I keep coming back for it. (Again: German much?)

But at the same time, there are ways of handling it that are so strongly upsetting to me that it could count as a squick, and this has been the case since my very first contact with fic back in the late 90s.

My preferences do vary slightly, from character to character, and from situation to situation. Methos, who has a surviving victim (one out of tens of thousands) who confronts him, is a different story than John Crichton, who bombs military bases and ships and doesn’t ever meet any survivors other than Scorpius, who is also his torturer and thus hardly qualifies straightforwardly as a victim. And of course Methos and John also had fundamentally different motivations for what they did, and also did fundamentally different things, even if their overall body count may be similar. By modern morals, Methos has stooped considerably lower than John ever did. John is an actual Good Guy, who made the proverbial “hard choices”. We don’t know if Methos ever was that, but he certainly wasn’t during the Horsemen days.

But, to generalise as much as I can here, one of the central things to me, with guilt of the magnitude I’m talking about, is that there really is no way to “remove” it. Or to make up for it. Ever. Yes, I’m being very German, I know. But this is really important to me, in fic that deals with these topics.

The concept of forgiveness makes no sense to me, in this context. And any story that focuses on getting the characters to a place (mentally etc.) where they can receive it, is a story I probably do not want to read. Forgiveness cannot be the goal, here.

Which doesn’t mean that I am interested in punishment or revenge, instead.

Or that I take issue with stories that focus on victims, survivors, for their own reasons, getting to a place where they can forgive.

Remember that I’m talking about mass murder here, though; and that I’m talking as someone who - regrettably, disturbingly, inevitably(?) - keeps getting really invested in characters who have committed it. I read from the perpetrator’s POV. Or with an emotional focus on them, anyway.

With this constellation, it is important to acknowledge that there is no one who can forgive these characters, in a sense of actually relieving them of their guilt. There can’t be. Even if there are survivors, they can only ever possibly forgive a small part of the deeds; they cannot speak for the dead. (They also shouldn’t have to.)

(Yes, the same is technically true for any murder, even just a single one, and arguably much of the same discussion I’m having here could also be had about that. I’d still argue, probably, that there is usually something of a qualitative difference, but I’m not going to do another super weird essay on morally ranking different kinds of murder here; I did enough of that already, last year, and weirded out even myself in the process.)

So. Back to the topic at hand. The guilt is, and has to be, perpetual, and fic that doesn’t have that awareness built into its very bones, is fic I usually don’t want to read.

And yet I also don’t want to read about anyone wallowing uselessly in inescapable guilt, either. (Yes, I know, picky, picky...)

What I do want to read tends to be fic about characters who grapple with that inescapability in some way, who have to integrate that into their sense of self - accept it - without being paralysed by it, without letting it define them entirely, without becoming trapped and unable to move forward. In the end, it’s all about moving forward - without resolving that central tension, because that is fundamentally irresolvable.

(I sometimes wonder if this is psychologically unhealthy, this insistence of mine on the impossibility of forgiveness. But also, perhaps sometimes the most psychologically beneficial thing isn’t also the most moral thing. Perhaps some kinds of pain are worth carrying forever.

Also, perhaps the distinction between acceptance and forgiveness is academic, in this context. And acceptance? That feels pretty healthy.)

I think that fictional mass murder, especially in sf&f and in fan fiction, is used as, sort of, the safe terrible thing. Nobody (or at least almost nobody) puts a content warning for mass murder. It’s too big to be real, perhaps. It doesn’t feel personal. (Again, especially the types that occur in sf&f - the Death Star blowing up Alderaan, etc.) I suspect that - especially in fiction that deals with themes of guilt, redemption, forgiveness etc. - it’s often a stand-in for all sorts of other things that can cause feelings of guilt, including, I suspect, a lot more “harmless” ones - the kinds where forgiveness makes a lot more sense. So a lot of fic that ostensibly deals with mass murder... often doesn’t actually deal with mass murder.

(I think.)

Conversely - and now we’re finally getting back to Homestuck, yes, we’re finally here - child abuse, is too real, too personal. It’s not a stand-in for anything, it’s not a safe terrible thing to play with to explore something else, it is just itself. And just in being itself, in fiction it carries a sense of enormity and irrevocability and unforgiveability that - probably - surpasses that of (science-fictional) mass murder.

And I think that with my tendency to see even the customary Safe Terrible Thing as carrying all or at least a fair amount of the weight of the real thing (for whatever reason), I’m transferring/projecting all of my attitudes and ideas about guilt and (non-)forgiveness in fiction wholesale onto this, because to me, on some level, if feels similar. Not the same, but similar enough.

(Which is actually bizarre, because really it’s very different. Not least because - at least in the particular situation that prompted these weird musings, i.e. the situation described in, you know, The Fic - nobody’s dead, and everybody’s still dealing with each other, which means that all sorts of things are possible.

But there is still an enormity to it, and irrevocability.)

For whatever reason, I am also reading this particular kind of situation far more from the abused person’s POV than from the perpetrator’s. (And the fact that that is strange for me again makes me ask myself: why is mass murder so much more... identifiable-with? Side-eyeing my subconscious with great suspicion. --- Though probably some of it is simply that I’ve been a child who was subjected to some amount of violence, though not from parents/adults; I remember sensing, even at the time, how that was warping me, away from the person I could have been, turning me into something that I still think is probably lesser. And in that case, maybe there’s nothing particularly suspicious at all about where my sympathies lie, here.)

Which doesn’t mean that rng Bro isn’t fascinating to read about, or that I don’t empathise with him, because I do - quite a lot, actually. But he hasn’t made it onto my list of people whose “hard”, arguably terrible/murderous choices fascinate me near-obsessively (or just plain obsessively) - even though his motivations and choices would actually make him a fairly good fit; even though the way he dehumanises himself is not so very different from Bob Howard’s.

[skribblz]

Fics??????? *very eyes, much emoji*

If sooo I recently just came up with another SenGen scenario-

I feel like Senku would question why Gen walks around barefoot all the time. He did offer some shoes for him one time but Gen declined cause I hc that for him it feels nice to walk around barefoot, and that since they're in the Stone world he has freedom to do so without getting called out, which Senku agrees nevertheless. But he does offer to clean his feet for him cause of how dirty they are sjfjsjfjsjf Gen ur gross /j /lh

and I think u know where this is going heehoo 👀👀👀

hehehehEHEHEH yay sengen ty angel <3

"Don't your feet ever...hurt?"

Gen tilts his head, a grin starting to spread across his face, "Aww are you worried about me, Senku-chan?"

"Just answer the question, damn mentalist." The scientist scoffs, earning a giggle.

"Of course it hurts if I step on something sharp," he replies, poking the other on the cheek, "but otherwise, nope! It's kinda like a nice little massage!"

"Don't tell me you have cuts on your feet." Senku starts, ready to go off on a whole tangent. "Someone like you knows how deadly infections can be, especially-"

"Especially in the Stone World, blah blah." Gen imitates, smirking as he received a glare from the other. "It's not that hard to say that you care, you stubborn thing."

Senku glared harder, pink faintly dusted across his cheeks since he couldn't honestly refute that statement. "You're just a-"

"Useful ally, I know, I know." The magician sighs dramatically, "Just another person to exploit."

Suddenly, a rough hand grabs onto his arm, pulling him out of his performance. His single audience member drags Gen along, who honestly doesn't mind. It did give him more chances to annoy the younger man.

"Fine, allow me to repay you for all the work you've done, as well as prevent your feet from falling off later. It's ten billion percent efficient."

"Ooh, where are you taking me, Dr. Ishigami? And please be gentle."

Senku groans, rolling his eyes. "Ew, shut up."

This was way too much fun.

It doesn't take long for Gen to realize that they were heading toward a nearby creek; all those trips to collect flowers for his tricks gave him decent knowledge of the land. Senku leads him down to the side of the water and allows Gen to roll up his the bottoms of his pants before obediently stepping in.

"It's cold!" He whines immediately.

"Deal with it, you big baby." Senku snickers at the mentalist's discomfort, letting this go on for awhile more. "Alright come on, get over here." He sits. "Give me your foot."

Gen backpedals a bit, trying not to fall into the freezing water. He’d prefer not to be soaking wet after all. Senku’s words did surprise him though, and he voices his concerns with a titter. "W-what? Who would've thought you were into stuff like this, Senku-chan!"

"Don't make it sound weird, I'm just cleaning your feet for you."

"I can do that myself-"

"You're the one who says how caring I am. So let me show how much I care." The scientist deadpans. He didn't understand why Gen was being so reluctant, unless there was actually a reason he didn't want his feet touched? Was he trying to hide an injury?

He frowns at Gen, offering his hand expectantly. The other shifts nervously, slowly sitting down on the grassy bank before placing his right heel onto the hand.

Senku immediately starts inspecting, taking note of the (thankfully) shallow scratches. Though when he starts prodding around for anything broken, Gen jolts and his face scrunches up all weird.

"Sorry, does this hurt?"

"No, no. I'm fine." The magician squeaks, willing himself to stay still as Senku shrugs, continuing his lighting poking and tracing.

After what seemed like ages, the sensations stop and Gen breathes a sigh of relief. He hears the bag rustle and Senku pulls out a bar of soap and dunks it into the water a few times. And without warning, he starts scrubbing the surface of Gen's sole.

And Gen squeals, instinctively yanking his foot out of the scientist's loose grasp.

"Oh yeah, you have some scratches so it might sting a little, but I thought you could take it?"

"A little too late for a warning don't you think!?"

"Just let me finish. It's your fault for not wearing shoes in the first place."

"And that's my choice!" Gen cries, trying to crawl away.

"And I'd rather not become the stone world's first amputator so you're just gonna have to bear with it." Senku remarks, snatching up the foot with a firmer grip.

"No means no!"

"Can you not?"

“Can you noEEE- NAahahaha!” The mentalist cackles as the scrubbing begins again. Although he noted that Senku was a bit gentler this time, it didn’t really help with his predicament. Gen’s back hits the grass as he clutches his stomach, desperately tugging at his trapped foot while the giggles fall endlessly from his mouth.

The scientist quickly puts two and two together, finally realizing why Gen was so reluctant to have his feet cleaned. It also explains the constipated looks he got during his inspection. "Huh, you're ticklish.” Senku says, mostly to himself. He watches the other squirm with great interest, cataloging each moment Gen twisted his head, face cherry red and mouth decorated with the cutest smile. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

"Behehecause it's- hAHahaha! Embahaharrassing! Nonononohoho!"

“I guess so.” Senku throws out casually, opting to dig his fingers into the magician’s toes. And Gen goes berserk, hands thumping the ground as he throws his head back, bright laughter filling the sky. He even almost kicks Senku in the face.

Senku, however, found this whole ordeal rather fascinating. He is very amused to find out how such a simple action could prompt such a large reaction. All that smooth-talking and witty remarks, turning into dorky, uncontrollable giggling. “Y’know, I think I like this side of you better, mentalist. Way more easier to deal with.”

And Gen wants to protest and argue and rebuke, but how could he? Nothing but chortles would come out; the ticklish sensations from his foot overloaded his brain, causing him to flail around madly.

The scientist decides that this is enough for now, dropping the foot back into the river. And Gen doesn’t complain this time, chest heaving grateful breaths. Each exhale produces a string of residual giggles, making Senku’s heart flutter just a tiny bit. Gen didn’t need to know that, he determines.

“Thahahat....was so...cruel.” 

Senku shrugs in response, “Again, your fault for not wearing shoes.” 

Gen ponders for a moment, was pushing Senku’s buttons right now really worth it? Sitting up slowly, he looks at the younger man through half-lidded eyes. “Well if you continue to give me special treatment...maybe I won’t ever put on a pair of shoes~” 

“That is extremely illogical and you know it.” 

“Maybe I think it’s nice having you touch me like this.” He really couldn’t help himself. Gen smiles flirtatiously, expecting to be met with wide crimson eyes and an equally crimson face. 

But instead, Senku smirks back, eyes not wide, but calculating. He’s not skillful enough to hide the tint of pink dusting his cheeks though.

“Yeah? I’ll touch you more if you’d like.” 

“Ooooh, how dirty~” 

"Hand over the other foot, mentalist." Senku's grin morphs into something more sinister.

Gen’s jaw drops, a look of betrayal spreads across his face. Asshole. He grits his teeth and then presses his lips into a thin smile, "...Please be gentle?"

[antvnger]

Blood Brothers AU - Uncle Tony and Cassie pt. 1/?

The first time Tony held his niece was a very sobering moment.  

Scott told him he could not see her if he was drunk or tipsy or buzzed or anything like that.  He couldn’t bring anyone along except Rhodey, and no flamboyant gestures either.

This was during a time when the boys’ relationship was a bit strained, so Scott’s kinda wary of his brother coming to see his niece.

But Tony follows Scott’s instructions to the letter, and he and Rhodey make their way to San Francisco to see the baby girl

Tony falls hard and fast for this sweet bundle in his arm.  He didn’t know he could fall that hard and that fast but he surely did.

Those big curious eyes staring up at him and that tiny, tiny fist holding onto his pinky finger just totally melts his heart and puts a lump in his throat.

“She looks a lot like you, Scott.  Except she’s got Maggie’s eyes.”

Scott can’t help but smile softly at the scene.  That seems more like the Tony he knows instead of the one he hears about on the news.  

“Yeah well, I can see some of her uncle in her already.”

“Uh oh, in that case watch out, little brother.”

Cassie loves her Uncle Tony.  

His life is a bit hectic, but whenever he gets the chance he makes his way to San Francisco or invites Cassie to come to his place, especially while Scott was in prison.

One of the reasons Tony has a place in Malibu was to be close enough to his brother and family when they needed him but still keep enough distance so he’s not a hovering big brother.

(He’s still figuring out how to maneuver through this whole rift between him and Scott.  He doesn’t like it and wish it would go away)

Cassie is rather fond of the weird and the macabre, and Tony finds that fascinating and endearing.  

Much like her father, her uncle will get her all sorts of strange, ugly things that she just loves to bits, and it warms Tony’s heart every time she grins at him and exclaims just how much she loves what he got her.

And it moves him so much how much he melts when she exclaims how much she loves him too.

She looks so much like Scott that it’s uncanny.  

Tony is transported back to childhood many many times with just a look from her or how she tilts her head when she’s confused or when she hums when she’s thinking or working with her hands or when she furrows her brows when she’s in the zone.  Like father, like daughter.

However, there can definitely be something said for like mother, like daughter too.  When she’s nervous, she chews on her lower lip like Maggie.  She’ll twirl her hair around her fingers when she feels shy, and she’ll huff and stick out that jaw and put her hands on her hips like her mom when she’s annoyed.  And her pout is just like her mom’s too.

This kid has a quick wit, and Tony loves it.  Tony says it’s from Scott, but Scott says it’s from Tony.  Maggie says it’s a Stark thing in general. 

There’s been numerous times Cassie has got Tony in stitches because she gets on a roll, and honestly, it’s hilarious.  

She’s got a knack for technology, but she loves English and literature and history more than the sciences.

But Scott’s right.  There is some like uncle, like niece too.  

She loves cars. She loves his cars.  She wants to drive so badly she can’t stand it, and she wants to know how to fix and maintain her own car. 

Scott never cared much for that kind of thing, but that is soooooo up Tony’s alley and he loves it.

They talk cars all the time.

“Uncle Tony, will you drive your Audi R8 e-tron the next time you come visit please?”

“Sure thing, Cassafras, which one?”

“The red one, duh.”

Scott:  “The only things I understood were Audi and red.”

Tony’s already planning on what car to “suggest” to Scott to get her for her 16th birthday.

Cassie learns how to drive from Scott, Jim, and Tony (but she loves when Tony teaches her though she’ll never tell the other two that)

Tony is more relaxed as a driving instructor, and he explains not just the how but the why and he is big time about car safety.  After all, for the longest time, the Stark boys thought their parents died in a car crash, so both of them are about driving safety.

[taketwoinink]

4, 6, and 7!

SO! I got a lot of repeat numbers here from @thatfaecreaturee and @gemstarstarlight thank you both so so so much for sending in asks! I'm going to answer them all in one go so! Let's do this!

(this got LONG so putting in a read-more)

4. what flower would you like to be given?

Might cry if anyone gave me literally any flower actually! I looove getting flowers so much. There's just something special about it. I don't care if you bought them or hand picked them, I appreciate either. Buying me a flower means that you're willing to spend money on me to get something seemingly trivial and fleeting, but that will have an impact on my heart, something that I will remember and cherish. Picking a flower means you're willing to spend the time to find me something special and unique. Both are ridiculously sweet gestures if you ask me.

So, any flower! I have to say I'd really love a rose but I think I'd appreciate and cherish and love literally any flower I could be given ever.

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

If I'm gonna do this, I want to do it well! After all, I know me better than anyone else, so who else could deliver a great compliment to myself than I?

Physical things! This is an interesting one because of my journey with my gender and finding myself and some days I see me and some days I don't so we're gonna start with

My smile. This is the thing I absolutely love most about myself. My entire face changes and lights up when I smile. It's like my face gets softer and more heart shaped and I look so HAPPY! And then I see myself being happy and it makes me even happier. SO I love my smile so so so much, it's so beautiful, I love it!

I also like my haaiiir! I have red hair, which is kind of rare(r) and I like that. I feel speciiiial because of it. My hair is also curly and I loooove curly hair. Sometimes it's a bit extra to take care of but some days you wake up and your hair has curled just so and you feel fabulous all day. My hair is also short which is so nice with the heat (though it is thankfully getting colder and colder by the day) and it's a unique look. I feel like I stand out and I like that. I feel like cutting it helped me claim myself and some days I wouldn't mind it long and some days I still love it short so it's interesting! But I do like my hair a lot.

Um... I like my eyes! I have blue eyes which I think is such a pretty color. They're kind of dark, they're... they're just fascinating to look at, to see them change sizes and shapes and shift. Eyes are weird and very cool! I also like my hands (oops, doing an extra). I see them allll the time, they're like always in my view. I feel like my fingers are short and knobby and strange but I kinda like that. They have personality. I'm a messy person and my hands are messy and knobby and skinny and covered in freckles and they feel like a good representation of me and who I am inside (which I must admit sometimes my face doesn't feel like it's mine. Other times it does! Life is strange)

Nooow the none physical things. Which is both easier and harder than the physical things. My body is simple, it's something I can see and define with ease. But I think I also... am special and meaningful because of who I am and not what I look like.

I love my creativity. It feels like a defining part of me. Ever since I was a tiny bean, I've been creating stories in my head. I make people and worlds and I play with them just in my imagination. I was an avid roleplayer as a child. I've always loved that aspect of creation. Of making something from nothing. So many of my creations have no substance to them, there is physically nothing there, it's merely a form in my mind. Which sometimes when I think about it, I feel shocked at how 'little' I've created, because there is SO MUCH in my head and just not a lot out in the world. But I do think I come up with fun ideas and I really enjoy it. I can get lost in my head for hours just coming up with... different ideas. And I've been learning ways to take that and put it out in the world through mostly art and writing but also even things like bracelet making can take little bits of me and my stories and put them out in a physical form.

I also love my ability to connect with people. I think I'm a personable person. I'm... a lot. I'm an intense person. I love deeply, I hurt deeply, I throw myself into things fully for better or for worse. (which means I also get burnt out easily *cri*) But I think... I think I'm a likeable person and I make friends and I love meeting people. I love finding those people who you just share a spark with. You're existing in the same color and wave of existence and you can just click that way. And you won't click with everyone but the people you do... they're just special. And you hang onto them and you pour everything you have into them and you do what you can for them. I think I have a great capacity to love (not romantically, just generally) and I hope I do a good job at showing that. But I definitely care and.. I like that. I like my intensity, I like how I commit to relationships. If you're my friend, that's a title I give to people because I care about them, I love them, and I want to keep them in my life forever. I want them to be happy and I'll do what I can to ensure that they are.

Lastly... I guess my spirituality? I don't talk about it that much or what exactly I belief in but religion is a big part of my life. I was raised in a very religious family in a very religious culture and it's definitely impacted me. Over time, I feel as if my beliefs have gotten more personal, more unique to me, more close to my heart. I've been... recently exploring what spirituality means to me and how I want to... I guess worship and connect with the God that I believe in. Organized religion? Gotta say it hasn't done it for me. But I definitely do feel a connection with my God and I'm grateful for that. It's helped me a lot in my life.

I also just love that I'm a dramatic, loving, goofy, out of the box, all over the place person! I'm unique, I'm wild, I'm full of life and love and joy and stuff to give and I like that!

7. what color brings you peace?

PURPLE! Purple is my favorite color BY FAR! Every time I see something purple it's like little sparkles of happiness in my brain. I love it, I'll always lean towards it, it's just so special to me and makes me so happy. I don't know why purple or what about it, but it's like central to me as a being at this point that purple is my favorite color. It has been since i was very small and I see it easily being my favorite color for the rest of my life. I see myself and I see purple. I love purple things more than I can explain. They just make me happy. So they definitely bring me peace.

9. what calms you down?

Purrshia, my cat. She's... very soft, very loving, purrs a lot. She means so so so much to me that it's almost ridiculous and even just seeing her can make me feel better. She's one of moment important things in my life. In some ways she IS the most important thing in my life. It's not like my entire life revolves around but... when I feel as if I've had nothing, I've always had her. She grounds me, she calms me, she helps me so much more than she or anyone else could ever understand. I love that cat more than I love myself so...

Also music. I'm listening to music most of the time. It's very grounding and relaxing for me. It gives me energy which I am always low on. It helps block out little sounds that are triggering or agitating to me. It's like a safety bubble between me and the rest of the world.

Also my stuffed animals. I'm not afraid to admit it. Just holding one, having one close, hugging one, instantly gives me some peace and calmness. I definitely use them when I'm sad or anxious and they help a lot.

Also my spell jar that I made! It's vanilla scented, not too strong but strong enough that I can smell it. I like to sniff it a lot throughout the day. I'm often wearing it. I like the smell and it just reminds me to be calm, that i'm okay, that I have this little piece of magiicccc to help me out. And one of the things I made it for was to give me more peace in my life so I think it does help a bit with that. I always need more peace but hey I'll take those little droplets!

Um... blankets, jackets... sometimes having something soft and warm around me makes me feel more capable of doing things or of continuing to exist or help feel like they're sheltering me and keeping me safe and... yeah I just, am a huge blanket and jacket person. I also have this shawl that's really big and comfortable and warm and I love it so much. It just encases all of me and I basically disappear into it and I love that. It's too hot still to wear it but soooooon!

Anyway! That's all of the asks! Thanks for sending them and I hope this answer wasn't too long for you, oops! I had a lot of fun answering these and getting to reflect on myself a bit.

(feel free to ask more!)

[obwjam]

“I watched you from the walls for years, you really can’t embarrass yourself further in front of me.” With Scott Lang please :)

“I watched you from the walls for years, you really can’t embarrass yourself further in front of me.”

yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes A THOUSAND TIMES YES

from this post

———————————————————————

Times were tough at the Lang residence. Scott wasn’t allowed to leave the house, his daughter was only allowed to visit on weekends, and worst of all, he worried about his future. How could an ex-con like him find work again? How could he possibly put behind everything he had been through in Germany? Often times, he sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, TV off, staring blankly at the wall.

Other times, he danced.

He wasn’t very good at it, but hey, who was watching? Scott would rev up his ever-growing 80s playlist, crank his speakers up to ten and let his arms flail and his legs go wild. For an hour and forty-six minutes, he would dance and sing and act out fight scenes he had choreographed in his head until he was just about ready to pass out.

Today was an especially stressful day. Cassie was sick and didn’t want to come, so for the first Saturday afternoon in a while, Scott was alone. There really wasn’t anything good on TV, and he had a nightmare the night before. If the good vibes wouldn’t come to him, he would make them himself.

He was maybe an hour into the playlist when he closed his eyes, spun around on one socked foot, struck a pose, and opened his eyes to the most confusing sight he had ever seen.

You were, in a word, fascinated with this human. For whatever reason, he never left the house anymore, which made borrowing close to impossible, but he was boisterous and goofy and just the right amount of weird. Eating cereal and crying at black and white Spanish movies at 10 p.m. was not normal human behavior, but it was normal for this one.

The dancing was especially entertaining. It was like a free show every day. The music was catchy and you had learned the words. Sometimes, you even danced with him. You discovered this crack in the old wood that allowed you to sit in its threshold and observe the human.

You were so caught up in the music that when Scott’s eyes landed on you, it took you a few seconds to realize what was going on.

Though Scott was staring right at you, he still couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. A tiny person? In his house? He squinted — no, it wasn’t Hank or Hope. They didn’t appear to be wearing a suit, either. Just some makeshift clothing. Was this a new Avenger with shrinking powers, sent to spy on him? Was it the government?

For some reason, you weren’t very scared. Years of watching the human from afar told you that he was a very relaxed person. He wasn’t overly excitable and didn’t seem to have a malicious bone in his body. You certainly didn’t mean to be seen, but it also didn’t seem like the worst possible thing that could have happened. It almost felt inevitable.

Scott stared at you, mouth agape and a thousand thoughts swirling around his mind like a hurricane. He realized he was still stuck in a ridiculous pose, so he put his arms back to his side and straightened himself. He should have figured there were real-life tiny people. Why else would Hank want to build shrinking technology?

You were staring back, mouth also agape and equally fascinated by what was in front of you. But Scott didn’t think you’d break the ice, so it was up to him.

“Um... hi,” Scott said, awkwardly giving a small wave. “What are you doing in my house?”

You tilted your head. For a human, he didn’t seem to be very surprised at what he was seeing. You lifted your arm and grabbed onto the wood for support as you spoke up. “Uh... I live here.”

“You live here? Last time I checked, I live here. Oh, no, they didn’t take my house away, did they?”

“What?” you blurted. “Who’s they?”

“Woo didn’t send you here, did he?”

“Woo? Woo who?”

“Jeez, you don’t need to act so excited about it.”

“Hold up!” you yelled, throwing your hands up. Scott pressed his lips together. “What... what are you talking about?”

“You’re government, aren’t you? Here to keep tabs on me, make sure I’m not breaking the Accords?”

“Government?” You blinked in disbelief. “You think I work for the government?”

“Well...” Scott started to attempt an explanation, but couldn’t really find one. “Why else would you be here?”

“I told you. I live here.”

“...so you’re not government.”

“Oh brother,” you mumbled to yourself, taking an exasperated seat. “Um. No?”

“...You wouldn’t happen to be an Avenger, would you?”

“An Avenger? Am I missing something here?”

“Well excuse me for trying to come up with an explanation as to why there’s someone sitting on my wall who’s two inches tall!”

“Hey, I’m four inches, thank you very much,” you scoffed.

Scott ran a hand through his hair. This wasn’t going very well at all. You sighed and took a breath. You could understand why he’d be so flustered.

“No, I’m not government. Or an Avenger. I’m just... a regular borrower.”

Scott stared at you blankly, trying to piece together what a borrower could be, before it dawned on him and his eyes went wide. “Oh wow. You’re really just that small!”

“I didn’t think that was even in question.”

“Gosh, sorry, that’s really embarrassing of me.” He let out a laugh. “An Avenger. What was I thinking?”

His laugh made you laugh. “I watched you from the walls for years, you really can’t embarrass yourself further in front of me.”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things in my life. Being put in a maximum security prison’s definitely up there. I’m used to small jails, you know?”

You gave him a quizzical stare.

“This ankle monitor is pretty bad, too, though I— wait a second. Did you say you’ve been watching me for years? ”

You gulped. You thought he either didn’t hear that part or didn’t care.

“I—um, I mean, I was just — I was speaking metaphorically—”

Scott’s expression immediately softened. “Woah, hey, I’m not mad!” He realized he was gazing down at you, and he lowered himself ever so slightly to be at your eye level. Now, he could see the way you gripped the wall protectively. “I’m just... confused. What do you mean you’ve watched me from the walls?”

“It means I live in your walls!” you cried, not realizing how shaky your voice had gotten. You steadied your breathing before continuing. “That’s what borrowers do. We live in the walls of houses.”

“Like mice?”

You sniffed a laugh. “Yes, like mice. Which I help keep away from here, mind you. When was the last time you saw a mouse around here?”

“Oh, gosh, I can’t even remember. Years ago.” You smirked and raised your eyebrow, and once it clicked, Scott’s eyes lit up.

“That’s so cool!” Scott smiled. You knew he was a quirky human, but even you were a bit surprised at how nonchalant he was being. “Do you use those little toothpicks that look like a sword?”

“There are toothpicks that look like swords?”

“Oh yeah!” Scott grinned. “They’d be perfectly your size, actually.”

“Huh. Y’know, that might actually be helpful to shoo away beetles and spiders.”

Scott grimaced. He had gotten used to ants, but spiders is where he drew the line. “Oh, gross.”

“It’s just a part of the job,” you shrugged. There was an awkward pause before you spoke again. “I, um. I’m sorry for startling you.”

“No, no,” Scott shook his head, “I’m sorry for making you listen to the same music all the time!”

“No, it’s fine, I... I actually kinda like it,” you blushed. “Usually, borrowers keep themselves hidden. Most humans aren’t as... entertaining as you.”

Scott smiled, not even realizing that maybe that wasn’t a compliment. It felt exhilarating just to have a face-to-face conversation with someone who wasn’t his family or was legally obligated to talk to him.

“You wanna come to the living room?” he asked suddenly. You furrowed your brow. “It’ll be more comfortable than sitting on that ledge.”

“Well, I can’t exactly sit on the couch,” you said slowly, meekly gesturing at yourself with your head.

“You can sit on the table, it’s fine! I’ve got snacks.”

“Snacks...” you repeated. Even though this went against every single borrower code you knew of, it felt stupid to pass up this offer. If the human wasn’t going to hurt you, then why not make him your ally?

“Sure, why not,” you said finally, standing up. Scott couldn’t help but stare at you in awe.

“Here,” he said, standing back up to his full height and sticking his hand out in front of you. “I can carry you there!”

“Oh...” you said, staring at the hand hesitantly. “I can just walk, you know—”

“Psh! That’ll take too long. Trust me.” You didn’t know why he would know anything about that, but frankly, his weird choice of words was the last thing on your mind. Scott took notice. “Oh, you’re... sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. It’s just right across the hall, we don’t have to go far at all. It’ll be fine.”

You gave him a skeptical look, but at this point, you didn’t have much of a choice. This is what you wanted, anyway.

“I guess this is the one drawback,” you muttered, keeping a firm grip on the wall as you lowered yourself onto his palm. “Humans can’t take no for an answer.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, uh, I—I said. Quite the view from up here.”

“Hah, yeah, I know!”

There it is again, you thought. That weird choice of words.

The trip to the living room was, as promised, short. You were only in his hand for about 15 seconds before you hopped off onto the familiar sight of the coffee table. The bowl of peanuts and candy was filled to the brim, as usual, but you supposed you should act like you’ve never been here before.

“So,” Scott said, reaching into the bowl and popping some M&M’s into his mouth before flopping onto the couch. “What’s your name? I bet you already know mine.”

“I’m (Y/n),” you said, eyeing the bowl. “Can I...”

“Oh, go ahead!” Scott smiled. He watched in delight as you grabbed a peanut that was larger than a football. You bit into it like an apple, and Scott could hardly suppress his grin.

“This is amusing for you?” you asked with a smirk. Scott immediately shook his head, but the smile was still present. “Yeah, I guess I probably look hilariously small to you.”

“Well... only a little.” Scott leaned back into the couch cushion. “So you’ve really been inside my walls this whole time and I had no idea?”

“Yup,” you said with a mouthful of peanut. “Been here for a long time.”

“How do you even live? Eat? Bathe?!”

You turned your gaze to the table. “You won’t like the answer.”

Scott thought about it for a moment, but it didn’t take long for him to connect the dots. “Oh. Oh.”

“Yeah,” you blushed. “But it’s either take crumbs off your counter or starve, so. I choose not to starve.”

“Well, you’re welcome to have dinner with me from now on. I cook just for myself anyway, it’ll be nice to have some company.”

“About that... why are you here all the time? You used to only be here at night.”

Scott sighed deeply. “It’s a long story.”

He seemed uncharacteristically upset about that, so you cleared your throat and pivoted back to what he was saying before. “You’d really let me eat with you?”

“Sure, why not?” Scott seemed genuinely surprised that you would even ask.

“I mean, this has gotta seem a little... weird to you, does it not? In fact, I — well, there are a lot of stories about humans discovering borrowers, and they’re not often pleasant. You... you don’t really seem to care.”

Scott pursed his lips. “That’s another long story.”

“Oh.” Jeez, what is up with this guy?

“I mean, if you’ve really been... in my walls all this time...” He shuddered before continuing. “Then you know how lonely it’s been around here. Heck, it probably gets really lonely all by yourself in the walls, too.”

You nodded.

“Well, I’ve got a lot of questions for you, and I know you’ve got a lot for me... I won’t force you to stay if you don’t want to, but I think — it might be nice to get to know each other, right?”

You gave Scott an almost incredulous look. Maybe all those human tales were just old folk stories of days past, meant to scare children into staying close to home. You were hardly nervous that Scott had any malicious intent. You just almost couldn’t believe this was happening.

“What about your daughter? Isn’t she supposed to be coming this weekend? I’d rather her, uh, not see me.”

Scott sat up a bit. “You know about Cassie?”

“Um. Lived here for years, remember?”

“Right, right. Uh, n-no, no, she’s sick, she’s not coming. Huh.” Scott shook his head. “Wow. You must know, like, everything about me, then.”

Your face flushed red. “I mean, yes and no. I don’t just sit and stare at you to pass the time. It’s-it’s actually pretty strange for me too. We’re not supposed to talk to humans. It’s kind of the big number one rule.”

“What normally happens?”

“Well.” You paused, looking up at Scott’s expectant face. It was hard to hold eye contact, and your gaze flickered back to the table. “It’s a long story.”

Scott huffed a laugh. “I get it. Looks like we both have our own baggage.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Look, if you wanna... go back into that hole in the wall, you can. I told you, I won’t make you stay. But the offer is always there. I’m probably just gonna order a pizza tonight. You ever had pizza?”

You pursed your lips. Should you really be telling him all the things you’ve stolen from right under his nose?

Scott sighed. Maybe this wasn’t the weirdest thing for him, but he knew he couldn’t say the same for you. Your sideways glances had grown increasingly nervous ever since he brought you to the living room. You carried yourself well, but it was clear you were uneasy about all of this.

Wordlessly, Scott placed his hand down in front of you. He frowned when you winced at it.

“It’s quicker if I just bring you back,” he said sheepishly.

You picked your half-eaten peanut off the table and cleared your throat. “I-I’m sorry. I think I underestimated how odd this would feel. You... you’re just, really different than the human I lived with growing up. In a good way.”

Scott smiled weakly. “Just wait ‘til you get to know me.”

You laughed as you climbed onto his hand. You sat down for balance as he stood up, unable to take his eyes off you. You stared straight ahead as he took the short journey back, and in a few moments, you were right back where you started.

Staring at each other.

“Well (Y/n), it was nice—”

“You know,” you said, raising your voice to cut him off. “I have had pizza before. But I’ve never tried ice cream.”

Scott gasped. “Never had ice cream?! Lucky for you, I’ve got some chocolate in the freezer— oh. Oh! You... you want to have some dessert later?”

You smiled amusingly. “You catch on quick.”

“Yeah, it’s a specialty of mine,” Scott said, stretching his arms in the air. “Gosh, it’s already 7:30. How about ice cream at 9?”

“I, uh, don’t have a clock with me,” you admitted. “Why don’t you just... knock when you’re ready?”

Scott chuckled. “Knocking on the walls to my own house? People’ll start to think I’m crazy.”

You blinked at Scott, Scott blinked at you, and you both burst out laughing. For a moment, you forgot that Scott was a hundred feet tall and he forgot you could fit in his palm. It shouldn’t have been that funny, but it was. It all was.

Scott wiped a tear from his eye and sighed. “Oh, man. Okay. I should order before they close. See you soon?”

You smiled. In between the bad jokes, the awkward silences and the fits of laugher, you decided all this weirdness was worth it.

“Yeah. See you soon, Scott.”

[andromedasstarship]

are you free tomorrow?

pairing - spencer reid x gn!reader

warnings - nothing! just a sweet & cliche ‘first meeting’ story  :)

summary - midterms are coming up and all the good cafes on campus are filled, maybe the sweet looking curly haired guy in the back will share his table with you?

a/n - for my valentines day oneshot series! 'every table is full, but i really need to study, is there any way we could share?'

-------

Stressed, was a simple way to explain the current state you were in. The semester had snuck up on you, moving faster than you had ever expected. As the fifth week was coming to a close, you were getting dangerously close to the storm of midterms you had waiting for you in the sixth week. And you desperately needed to study. The only thing stopping you- surprisingly not your own procrastination-, was that it seemed as if the rest of campus was also in the same predicament as you. 

This was the third cafe on campus that you had entered that was absolutely filled. 

Your eyes scanned around the room, hoping to catch someone in the middle of packing their things. Nope. You considered circling back through the other two cafes you’d just been in or maybe even just going off campus. Except you couldn’t justify wasting more time by circling the same few cafes over and over, nor could your college student budget justify paying for coffee when you could just use your allotted campus cash. 

Just as you were about to give up and leave- begrudgingly deciding that studying in your room would have to be good enough-, you spotted a man sitting alone towards the back of the cafe. He sat at a large table with plenty of space; even though he had one of the largest stacks of papers you’d ever seen one individual possess. 

You weighed your options, internally debating if it’d be worth potentially hurting your pride by asking him to share the table and getting rejected. Seeing as the other option was definitely hurting your pride by hovering the same cafes like a hungry park bird, you tightened your grip on your tote bag and started walking towards him.  

Whatever he was reading must’ve been exciting, as his focus didn’t stray even for a moment nor did he notice you at all until you were right up against the chair across from him. You awkwardly cleared your throat to catch his attention, giving him a tiny wave when he looked up at you. 

“Hi!” 

“Hello?” 

“I’m really sorry to bother you, just every table is full and I really need to study and I know it’s not the best, but could I share this table with you?” You asked anxiously, holding your breath as you waited for his answer. 

As he opened his mouth to respond, you quickly added. “I swear it’ll be like I’m not even here!”  

He gave you a ‘please calm down’ look and you felt some of the weight dissolve from your shoulders as he nodded his head. “Take a seat, no worry at all.” He told you, adding a kind smile as he looked back down at his stack of papers and pulled them closer; giving you more room at the table. 

You let your bag fall off your shoulder and hit the ground with a thunk, relieved to no longer be carrying the physical weight around. You clasped the top of the chair in front of you, leaning towards him just so. “Thank you,” you said, giving your best gracious smile, “let me get you a coffee or something?” 

He looked almost shocked- or was he flustered? you weren’t sure-, quickly shaking his head in response. “No! You don’t need to do that at all.” He assured you, but you weren’t so quick to back down. 

“It’s the least I can do, please?” You pressed, giving him a very exaggerated pleaaaase look, “with all those papers you must need some serious caffeine.” 

You thought he was going to continue this little back-and-forth with you, but you watched as his body relaxed ever so slightly, signs of what you hoped was him conceding. “Just a black coffee.” 

"Just black?" You countered, raising your eyebrow, leaving it unsaid that he was just choosing the cheapest drink they had.

"Room for cream? I'll fix it up myself." He replied.

----

From the line, you had your first opportunity to really give this guy a look. The papers in front of him had sucked him back in as soon as you stepped away from the table; meaning you weren’t too worried about him catching you in your little…, creeping moment. The student population was large, but it was still small enough that you found yourself repeatedly seeing the same strangers. Yet, you’d never seen this man before. And you were sure you would’ve remembered this man, had you seen him before. What? He was undeniably attractive. There was something about the way his hair just perfectly curled around his face that made you just want to reach out and ruff- that’s weird. Even his little sweater-tie-button up outfit was doing it for you. Maybe today won’t be so bad. 

The line moved quickly and you found yourself carrying the two drinks back over to the table in under five minutes. You set his cup by him, taking care to put it away from the massive stack of papers. You set your cup down next, sliding in the chair diagonal from him. 

“You know,” you started, hefting your bag up into the chair next to you, “I never got your name?”

“Thank you,” he quickly got out, holding up his coffee as he did so. “I’m Spencer, uh…, Spencer Reid.” He told you, a faint red creeping up from under his collar. 

You gave him your name in return, a bit distracted as you pulled more of your things from your bag. From the corner of your eye, you saw him hold his coffee up again, nodding his head towards the cream and sugar station before walking off to fix his drink up properly. 

In his absence, you pulled out the rest of your books, debating which subject you should tackle first. You were glad you were finally towards the end of your college career, meaning the majority of your classes were specific to your interests rather than a four hundred student gen-ed; not that it made you any more excited to study for this exam. 

When Spencer came back he set his coffee down with a slightly shaky hand. “Did you know coffee is actually classified as a fruit?” He asked, as he slid back into his seat against the wall. 

“I didn’t know that.” You replied, shaking your head. 

“The coffee bean itself grows on a bush and they’re actually the pit of a berry, which is what makes them a fruit. They come in two main varieties, green and red.” He rambled, as if reciting from some magic book stored in his brain. As soon as he was done he clamped his mouth shut, remembering how most people reacted to his ramblings. 

You raised an eyebrow at him, but your face didn’t show any signs of annoyance. “Big coffee fan Spencer?” 

“Big fan of facts.” He corrected, giving you a sheepish smile.

“Oh yeah? Well you seem pretty smart then, which class should I study for first?” You asked, holding up two of your textbooks.

He looked at both books curiously, trying to take a guess at what your major might’ve been. He pointed at the one in your left hand. God’s, Monsters and Mortals. 

“Are you an…, English major?” He guessed, wondering if the book was some supplement for a unit on the Iliad. Not to mention the other book you held up was quite literally called ‘Literature Through The Ages’. 

You shook your head, putting the book he chose down on the table while you returned the other one to your bag. “Close! Classics,” you said, giving him a sheepish grin, “I know, it’s a bit niche, kinda ridiculous, but there’s something about how we immortalized memories of ancient times through literature that are just fascinating. There’s something about the lessons of the past that I think a lot of people are ignoring today, ya know?” You replied, quickly closing your mouth before you’d go on some incredibly long tangent about your interests and studies. Didn’t you say it’d be like you weren’t even here?  

“No, no!” He hurriedly said, shaking his head. “Understanding the lessons and patterns of the past and how they’ve morphed humanity today? That’s cool!” He assured you. 

“Well what about you, Spencer Reid? What’s your major, you must have some horrible professors, if that stack of papers is the norm.” You joked, liking the way the corner of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. 

“I’m uh…, a professor here.” He responded, his face cringing ever so slightly as he watched your mouth drop open simultaneously as your eyes nearly fell out of your head. 

“You’re a…, professor?” You repeated, extremely confused as to how someone who looked only a few years older than you was somehow employed to such a degree. 

“Just a visiting one!” He clarified, clearing his throat. “I’m on a sort of, uh, sabbatical from work.” 

“Isn’t a sabbatical when someone gets away from academia?” You countered, smiling to show you meant no actual aggression. 

“Big fan of facts, remember?” He repeated plainly, but you caught the joke in it and you smiled wider at that. 

“No offense Professor, but you look a bit young to ya know, be one.” You said, hoping he’d give his age in response. 

“I’m 29.” Ah, only four years older than you. 

“29 and already a professor at a university like this? What, do you have like 20 Phds. or something?” You asked jokingly, laughing a bit as you said so. 

“Three actually.” He replied, a mix of shyness and pride across his face.

Your mouth dropped back open again, trying to wrap your mind around the man in front of you. “What are you? A genius then?” 

“By some standards, yes.”  

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence after that. Him paying special attention to each paper he graded- you wished all your professors cared about student work the way he seemed to-, while you were busy deciding which parts of the taught units were the most important. 

After what you imagined was nothing short of four hours you felt your head begin to throb and your eyes were starting to go fuzzy. In that time, the two of you had downed at least five coffees each, going back and forth over who paid for them. You had managed to create an individual study guide for nearly all your upcoming exams and a quick glance told you that Spencer still had a few papers left. Unbeknownst to you he could have finished those papers hours ago, even with the in depth comments he entered into the computer for each one; there was just something about you that drew him in.  

He wasn’t sure whether it was the funny unfiltered comments you’d make sporadically while you worked or the way you actually seemed to be interested in every little tangent he had gone on whenever one of his students brought up a particularly good or amusing point in their papers’. His therapist had recently recommended that he engage in conversations with those not already well acquainted with him and it seemed like the world had lined up perfectly to put you in front of him so soon after. 

You loudly slammed your textbook shut with a groan and let your head fall against the table. “Why does academia have to be so boring?” You asked rhetorically, bringing one hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Is it some requirement to get published? Your work needs to put college kids to sleep?”  

“The works that you’re reading are quite literally ancient, in their defense. The term ‘academia’ itself comes from the school of thought taught by Plato himself in ancient Athens.” Spencer explained, putting down the paper he had been grading. 

“And now, all these years later I have to suffer because Plato was such a bore.” You sighed dramatically, rolling your eyes. 

“You said you were studying the downfall of Icarus weren’t you?” He asked, once again unbeknownst to you, he remembered everything you had said today. “It’s one of my favorites of ancient Greek mythology. The power of the mind of man, yet how quickly that very power could be taken away if man oversteps. Really makes us wonder if we’ve overstepped as humans yet, if we use Icarus’s fall, quite literally from grace, as a lens for other devastations we’ve seen across history then-” 

“Spencer, are you free tomorrow?” You asked, effectively cutting him off. 

He looked a bit like a fish, the way you had stopped him mid sentence and his mouth hadn’t yet closed. His eyebrows turned up, head tilting with them. “Tomorrow? The 14th?” 

“Yeah, are you free tomorrow?” You repeated, holding back your nerves. 

“Oh.” He said, eyes going wide as you assumed he finally connected the dots, “Oh!” 

You were about to speak again, retract your question completely before he could reject you, suddenly wondering why you decided to go out on whim like that at all. But he beat you to it. 

“Yes, yes I am.” 

------

happy valentines day (almost) i love yall!!

tagging a few people who asked + a few mutuals i think might like this (no pressure!!) - @hqtchner @ssahoodrathotchner @kylorendrip @feverdreamreid @homoose 

permanent taglist - @sunflowersandotherthings

[george-fabian-weasley]

Bill Weasley — Intoxicating

Summary: Bill Weasley had picked up a habit of smoking from his peers in Egypt. When he came back to Britain for summer, he met you in a fancy restaurant, as his barista.

Words: 3,415

Warnings ⚠ : Floofy Stuff, Cute, Sexual Tension, I Don't Write Smut so None of Them, Bill Weasley being Deviously Charming

Disclaimer: Domhnall Gleeson can run me over and I would thank him this man is sO FINE

"William, you're home!" Molly's voice echoed around the Burrow and Bill laughed as he engulfed the small woman, "Missed you, Mum."

The rumbles of stairs indicated his other family members running down to see him. Upon knowing them for years, he could predict the one who comes down first would be-

"Ah, Ickle Billiekins!" Two grown men engulfed him in a bro hug, and Bill chuckled, "Fred. George. How's the shop going?"

Fred smiled in triumph, "Splendid! We're planning to open our second franchise soon in London!

"Bill!" Ginny pushed away from the twins and hugged him, the complaints of the twins were visible. "Ginny! How are you, lil sis?"

Being the only sister he had, Ginny has a special place in his heart. Everybody knows how spoiled she is with him. The ten-year difference between them doesn't help either.

After catching up with the rest of the family, The Weasleys had a celebratory dinner to celebrate Bill being home for the summer. Ginny and Ron even invited Harry and Hermione, whom Bill knew pretty well because of the war a few years ago.

Molly being the lovable mum she is, kept adding food to his plate, Bill had to ask help from Arthur with pleading eyes. "Now, now, Molly dear, we don't want Bill to have indigestion now, do we?"

"But he's so thin now! Oh, what have they been feeding you at Egypt?"

Bill chuckled, "Mum, I've been like this since Hogwarts."

Molly gave him a motherly smile, "Oh alright. How's Egypt?" She changed the topic, and Bill had never been more grateful, his stomach almost exploded.

Hours after dinner ended, Bill stepped out of the Burrow to puff out a smoke or two. He heard someone opening the door and closing it, footsteps nearing him and Bill was pleasantly surprised to see Harry Potter, the hero a few years ago who defeated the bloody wizard Voldemort.

"You smoke?" He asked in bewilderment. Bill inhaled and kept it in, feeling the nicotine in his system for as long as he could before exhaling the white semi-dense smoke. He kept his views to the tall grass field in front of him, "Got it from my peers back in Egypt. Thought it's a good distraction, and it is."

"Distraction from what?"

"Thinking. So many thoughts and not all of them are pretty. Especially if you have 6 younger siblings and two aging parents." Bill confessed, finally looking at Harry with a small smile, "And now two troublesome future in-laws."

Harry chuckled and diverted his eyes from Bill, a heavy blush at the nickname, "Maybe later, I reckon. Ginny's focusing on her career first and I as an Auror. We have no time for a wedding."

Bill snorted, "Why are you acting like we didn't have Charlie's wedding in the middle of chaos 3 years ago?"

The two men burst into laughter. Looking back, it was amusing to have a wedding ceremony out of nowhere, especially if the night before someone just died- ehem, mad-eye, ehem- anyway. The laughter died down, and comfortable silence began. Harry was looking up to the stars, sighing, "We sure do have a lot of adventures here."

Bill shrugged, "I've been having adventures since I was born, Harry. Adding you into the family isn't that special," He teased and Harry rolled his eyes playfully.

Bill took a final puff and exhaled loudly, dropping the almost finished cigarette to the ground and stepped on it a few times, no one wants a random fire in the middle of the night.

Harry walked back in first, but then he turned back and said, "Maybe you're not the only one getting an in-law soon."

Bill snorted, Harry was referring to Bill about marriage, "Maybe," He said, didn't really want to jinx anything if he says no. Harry smiled at him and entered the Burrow, leaving him alone.

Bill sighed, looking down to the dead roll of cigarette on the ground, "Maybe," He whispered, even when he knew it's not likely.

A few days after that night, Bill got an owl from his peers from Egypt. They invited him to a fancy party in a muggle restaurant in London, something about celebrating their 10th year working in Egypt.

He sighed quietly, he really doesn't want to go, something about being in a crowd exhausts him. But alas, he figured it would be worthwhile to catch up with his friends and enjoy a drink or two.

Who knows, maybe he could find someone there, although that's nearly impossible. Not that Bill cared about blood status, it's more to the scar on his face from Greyback a few years ago.

Who would date a scar-face?

Bill smiled bitterly, this thought kinda hurt him a little bit, but he let it tear down his mood no further. He has a party tonight to attend anyway. A fancy one.

That evening, Bill had whipped out the fanciest suit he could find and had Transfigured his hair into the color of dark brown, for fun. Molly, of course, had her disagreement as ginger hair has become a trademark of a Weasley for so long, but Bill had reassured her it's only for the night.

"Looking fancy, eh? Have a date somewhere?" George teased his older brother, the eldest just chuckled and shook his head, "Got a party at a fancy restaurant in London, had to dress my best."

"Ouch Billie, already forgetting to be a Weasley?" Fred chimed in, faking a hurt expression with his hand on his left chest. Bill rolled his eyes playfully, his dark brown hair sure did look weird after years having ginger as the hue of his hair, "Sod off, Freddie."

"Well, I think you look handsome, Bill," Ginny said suddenly, walking towards her older brother to fix his tie. Bill looked at her in triumph and glared at the twins, "Finally, someone on my side,"

Ginny chuckled and patted his chest when she was done, "I'll always be on your side. Just don't wear it too long, don't want you to forget you're a Weasley."

Bill chuckled and kissed her forehead, "Yes, ma'am."

Apparating to the alley behind the bar, Bill walked in the party looking ravishingly stunning, although he sort of regretting the new color on his head.

"William!" Shouts from his peers made him smile ear to ear. The night was celebrated with a few drinks here and there, Bill had a wonderful time catching up with his friends.

But a few hours later, the said friends had separated into different corners with their partners, leaving Bill, the only one who doesn't have a partner, to be alone.

Bill clicked his tongue, the sudden feeling of wanting to smoke was strong. He hadn't associated himself with this many muggles before. Nevertheless, they're all human beings in the end, magic or not. He checked his watch, it's a quarter past 10, the night is still young.

And so Bill went to the bar section of the restaurant, wanting some alone time from many people. He fished out the cigarette box from his pocket and took one, placing it in between his lips.

Bill inwardly groaned as he remembered he couldn't use magic to light up his cigarette, there are way too many muggles to witness and honestly, he doesn't want to go to Court, especially when the government is still corrupted even after years of Voldemort gone.

He patted around his suit, hoping there is somehow a box of matches resting inside one of his many pockets. The cigarette between his lips was starting to get wet.

Suddenly he heard a flicker, and Bill was met face to face with a tiny light of fire.

Strange, the fire was resting on top of a metallic box with a lid. Bill blinked, and that's when he properly see you.

His eyes met yours, and for the first time in years, Bill Weasley was speechless. It was only when you shook the tiny fire on your hand slightly that he realized that he was staring.

He quickly leaned into the fire to light up his cigarette, nodding to you in gratitude. He took a long inhale, relaxing as the toxic substance entered his system. He exhaled and looked at you with a smile, "Thank you."

You quirked an eyebrow at him, "Did you forgot to bring your lighter or something?" You said, and Bill was slightly surprised at how easily you sparked up a conversation with him.

"I beg your pardon?" He said, and you nudged to the metallic box in your hand, flickering the light up once again, "A lighter. You forgot to bring it?"

So it's called a lighter. Fascinating. Bill thought as he chuckled, "Sort of," he said, not really wanting to say his 'lighter' is a spell.

"Anything you want to drink?" You asked, and that's when Bill realized you were over the other side of the counter, and you were wearing a white blouse and a patterned dark red vest over it. Ah, you're a barista.

Your hair was put on a low ponytail, and Bill suddenly missed his long red hair. Curse this brown short hair.

Bill hold his cigarette in between his index and middle finger, "Just water, please." You raised an eyebrow, "Water? Really?"

Bill chuckled at your teasing demeanor, and you were surprised at how he wasn't offended by your jokes. Your usual customers would usually tell you to shut the fuck up and bring them drinks quietly.

"Home was quite far from here. Don't want to drive home dead drunk now, do we?" Bill chimed, a genuine smile was on his lips. He wasn't this friendly around strangers, but there was this vibe around you that tells him to loosen up and enjoy his time.

You smiled at his remark, he was the friendliest customer of the night so far. "Oh c'mon, you're sitting on a bar! Surely you'll drink something." You said with a playful toothy grin. Once again, Bill chuckled, "Alright then. A glass of wine please."

"Atta boy," You quietly cheered and got to work. Bill watched you silently, occasionally bringing his cigarette onto his lips, somehow the nicotine wasn't as strong as before, now that you're here.

He couldn't pinpoint what was it, but you were... Charming.

"I've never seen you before," You struck up a conversation with Bill again once you delivered his glass of wine. This man before you was ravishingly stunning, would be quite a waste if you just watch this masterpiece from afar.

You could say he was the most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on. Even with that scar on his face. The long trailing scar from his temple to his cheek was intimidating at first sight, but when you look at it longer, it's only a scar, nothing more.

If anything, it makes this man before you look more mysterious than he should be.

"I'm from Devon, actually. My friends thought it would be a good idea to have a party here for our 10th-year celebration working at our workplace." You widened your eyes in, letting out a surprised laugh, "Blimey, 3-hour drive for a party?"

Bill shrugged his eyebrows, 'Huh, 3 hours.'

He sipped on his wine and gestured at the bar with his chin, "How long have you been working here... Y/N?" He asked, his eyes lingering on your name tag before coming in contact with your eyes.

You blinked, oh lord give me strength.

The way he said your name was beyond lovely, as if he's saying such poetic words. And the way he looked at you isn't really that much of a help. You felt heat rushing in your cheeks as you turned around to the alcohol collection, not letting this fine man before you see your blush.

"About 3 years already? Got to make money somehow to live," You said nonchalantly, when another customer ordered a drink. You got to it right away fast, wanting to talk more with the mysterious man whose name you didn't even know.

As if reading your thoughts, he said, "I'm William, but my friends and family call me Bill."

You chuckled and throw him a playful look, "Where did Bill come from out of William?" The remark made him laugh, the sides of his eyes crinkled. You smiled in triumph at the successful attempt of making Bill laugh.

"I honestly have no idea," Bill chuckled and inhaled more of the cigarette between his fingers, the nicotine felt less effective by now.

You stood in front of him, with the wooden bar table between you, biting your lip, "And what should I call you? William," You trailed off, feeling the energy between you shifted from light to somehow heavy.

"Or Bill?" You muttered loudly, giving him a slight smirk.

Bill felt it, the energy shift. And for the first time, he didn't mind. "Well," He started, putting the cigarette onto the ash box, killing it instantly. He took the glass wine, swirling it slightly to make the wine well mixed, and right before he sipped the dark liquid, he looked at you, "Surprise me."

You watched him drink the wine with his eyes on you the whole time, and the action made the butterflies in your stomach came alive.

"Y/L/N! No flirting with customers!" The shout from your manager made you flinch in surprise. You looked to the side, your manager looking at you sternly with his hands at his waist.

You smiled mischievously, "But boss, I don't think we're flirting!" You said with fake innocence, batting your eyelashes innocently. You turned to Bill, smiling in a way Bill was reminded of his cheeky twin brothers at home, "Were we flirting, Bill?"

Bill smiled widely with his front teeth on his lower lip, you're something else, Y/N.

"Were we? I can't remember," He chimed in, giving your boss the same innocent smile, making your own smile widen. The boss rolled his eyes and left, leaving you both by yourselves.

A moment of silence before laughter erupted from both of you. "What time does your shift end?" Bill asked as soon as he calmed down, a genuine smile on his lips.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, "At 12," You voiced out, trying so hard to contain your smile. Bill's smile got wider at the sight of your blushed cheeks, "Alright, I'll be here till 12."

"You sure we're not flirting, Bill?" You said playfully. Bill bit his lower lip and looked up at you, "I don't know, Y/N. You tell me,"

"Oh, you're good at this," You breathed out and nodded, impressed by his flirting skills. Bill chuckled and shook his head, "Sometimes. There's just something about you that makes it easier."

The entire two hours were filled with conversations and laughter, some occasionally constantly flirting here and there, but needless to say, Bill was having a great time with you.

You were charming, funny, witty, and absolutely gorgeous in his eyes. He forgot for a moment, that you can see his scar on the side of his face.

Not that you minded it. Bill was everything. He's a gentleman with a beautiful smile and an amazing sense of humor, mysteriously alluring.

By the time the clock starked 12, Bill stood up from his seat and then you realized how tall he was from you. If before he was looking up to you, now it's completely the opposite. Bill had an amused expression over your sudden realization of his height.

"I'll wait for you outside," He said and you nodded with a smile, already tearing off your vest.

The party was long forgotten, some of his friends had already gone home before he even realized it. Once he was outside, he took out another cigarette and snapped his finger, instantly lighting it up. He took a long inhale, warming his system up to fight off the cold air of London. He exhaled and sighed, the cold mist now mixed with the smoke, making it denser than it should be.

Bill then realized he was supposed to be with you later, and a guy with a bad breath is the last impression he wanted you to have of him. And so he reluctantly threw away the barely finished cigarette, crushing it with the bottom of his shoe.

Just then, you came out and walked to him, looking casual with a beanie on top of your head and hair let down from the ponytail before. "Hello, handsome." You said cheekily with a smile.

He smiled at the sight of you, and with his cold hands, he held yours softly. You halted your movement altogether, now looking eye-to-eye to this beautiful man before you. "I couldn't do this to you before because you're working, but," He said softly, and met your knuckles with his lips, kissing it gently.

"Hi."

The blush in your cheeks was prominent, and you felt like a high-school girl all over again, "Hi," You said shyly.

You suddenly felt some sort of courage running through your veins, because without thinking, you grabbed his tie and pulled it towards you, making him closer to you.

"I may have a few shots before coming out here so please don't mind me," You muttered quickly as you pulled him into a kiss. Bill was pleasantly surprised and kissed you back. The makeout turned heated quickly, Bill had to contain himself as he suddenly found a new hunger for your taste.

Whiskey, and smoke.

It was intoxicating. When you pulled away, you were both panting. You later giggled at the sudden courage before, and your laugh being contagious, he started chuckling on his own. Bill was holding your waist tightly, touching as much skin as he could while you had your arms wrapped around his neck.

Never would he thought a few minutes later that he would be running while holding your hand, laughing with each other as you dragged him to your apartment.

Bill had already loosened his tie and tossed his suit around somewhere by the time you're opening the door. He turned you around suddenly from the door and gave you another hungry kiss. You were pressed between the door and him, and you didn't mind.

Reluctantly pulling away giggling, you opened the door sloppily, your mind still hazy by Bill's kiss.

He was a bloody excellent kisser, holy fuck.

The door slammed shut behind you two, and the kissing continued. It was safe to say, Bill Weasley didn't come home that night.

By the time morning came along, you woke up being wrapped around Bill. His naked arms wrapping around your waist and his leg around yours. You smiled and looked up to him, and was surprised at his long red hair.

You chuckled, shaking your head. You trailed kissed from his freckled chest to his neck, making him humming in content. "Good morning, sweetheart," He said groggily. You giggled at his sleepy attempt of kissing your nose.

You reached your hand to caress his long hair and sighed in content, "You know, you could've told me your real hair is ginger."

He hummed sleepily, "Mmm, yeah-wait, what?" He snapped his eyes open and reached for his hair. Indeed, ginger and shoulder length.

He sat up suddenly, looking everywhere but at you, "I-I can explain." He stuttered.

I knew it was a bad idea, he groaned.

He stopped when he saw you looking up to him with amusement, your arm supporting your head, and your hair falling slightly to the side you're leaning on.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" He asked. You smiled, "I know you're a wizard, Bill. Or should I say, Bill Weasley?"

Bill scoffed in surprise, his tense shoulder relaxed, "Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

You sat up, revealing your naked upper body that you had presented to Bill the night before, and kissed him on the cheek, "I figured it wouldn't be fun if I let you know so soon, so I figured I should play along."

Bill was supposed to feel offended, you did lie to him after all. But all he could find in his heart was warmth. He smiled gently, cupping your face and kissing your lips softly.

"You're something else, you know that?" He stifled a laugh as he said it. You joined his laughter and caress his cheek, leaning your forehead together.

"I know."

[corysmiles]

If you're still looking for prompts, can I ask for a tiny Philza and a big Techno? So you know how Techno has ADHD and with ADHD comes hyperfixations? well, the prompt is that Techno's current hyperfixation is about borrowers, like he is OBSESSED!(it's worse than the potato wars) Phil is a borrower that finds humans completely fascinating, especially Techno. Chaos ensues (you decide) (also, I kinda of found a similar idea on my dash and that sparked this)

YES YES YES YES

t!Phil g!Techno fluff

———————————————————

Borrowers were completely fascinating to Techno, the young man spent hours studying and learning about them. He had shelves of books on them and their culture and even was majoring in borrower studies.

Ever since he had found out about the tiny people who hid in houses all across the world there was barely any time they weren’t on his mind.

No matter what he was doing his brain always liked making connections to the small beings.

So when he found evidence that one might be living in his own house he was more than ecstatic.

He was making coffee when he first noticed the small footprints left in the dust of his cabinet. At first he thought it was just a mouse until he spotted a hole in the wall with a small piece of fabric covering it.

A borrower must have been there.

Excitedly Techno started putting things out for his (hopefully) new friend. Who could blame him if the cabinet doors were always just a little bit open, or bags of food were let conveniently unsealed, he just wanted to meet the borrower living with him.

It was a late night when the man finally caught sight the borrower he had been trying to meet for weeks. He was studying for a test on borrower biology when he heard a quiet shuffling from his bookshelf.

Quietly, as to not scare whatever it was he walked over and caught a glimpse of a green cloak before it quickly dashed away into the wall.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Techno mumbled, “If that’s what you’re worried about.”

He sat there for a couple more minutes and when there was still no sign of the borrower he sighed and returned to his desk.

This continued for the next few weeks, every hour or so he swore he saw glimpses of green out of the corner of his eye or tiny dashes of movement from within his room. It was like he was being watched or studied.

He didn’t mind it really, he just wished he’d actually get to meet whoever it was instead of just having them spy on him.

Sometimes he’d even talk out loud to himself when he was extra certain the borrower was watching.

“I’m Techno by the way,” he huffed out, “It’d be nice to meet you...I think you guys are really cool...”

As always he was met by dead silence.

It was a bit disappointing that this was the closest Techno would probably ever getting to meeting a borrower but he’d take what he could get.

This all changed though when one day one of his dogs ran into his room happily and pawed at his seat where he was studying.

“What is it Floof I’m stu-“ Techno paused as he noticed the dog was proudly holding something in its mouth.

Something green.

“Oh god spit that out!” Techno yelped as he grabbed the dogs collar and desperately tried to free the borrower from its jaws.

After a few moments he had the cloaked borrower cupped in his hands and a very grumpy dog.

“Oh jeez, are you okay?” he asked as he placed the borrower on his desk.

(His studies had told him borrowers didn’t like to be held without permission)

The cloaked borrower shook and wiped some of the saliva off of them self before nodding to the human. At least they weren’t that hurt Techno thought, although their whole body shook in fear.

“I’m fine...I’m fine,” the borrower whispered finally, “thank you for saving me.”

Techno smiled at the small person and nodded, “It’s my pleasure. It’s nice to finally meet my roommate after so long heh?”

The borrower chuckled lightly and pulled off its soaked green cloak. The tiny man had long blond hair braided into a ponytail in the back and brown patchwork clothes of fabrics from all around Techno’s house.

“Yeah, I could say the same for you... though I didn’t think our little game would end like this,” the borrower laughed slyly, “I’m Phil, by the way.”

Techno felt his heart swell at the introduction. He couldn’t believe he was finally meeting a real borrower, not looking at pictures or studying their culture. He was talking to one that not only had he saved, but also lived in his house.

“You’re so cool,” Techno felt himself mumble involuntarily causing the borrower to chuckle.

“You’re very fascinating yourself mate,” Phil said, “Yaknow most humans don’t really care about us.”

Techno shrugged nonchalantly, “I just think you guys are cool, there’s nothing weird about that...”

The borrower tilted his head to the side, “I never said it was weird mate. I’ve been doing my own research on you for a while now. I’ve never been able to get that close to a person before safely.”

Techno’s eyes widened at the idea that he was just as fascinating to the borrower as the borrower was to himself. Of course he knew he’d been watched by Phil for a while, but he didn’t know that the small man actually found him interesting.

“Oh...that’s good,” Techno mumbled awkwardly, “You’re not going to uh...you’re not gonna leave right? Because I read before that when you get caught you leave and I don’t wanna force you or anything but I’d be very happy if you stayed and maybe we could be like uh roommates or just friends or just, I don’t know, we-“

Phil waved his hands at the sputtering human to get him to stop and smiled kindly.

“I’m not gonna leave mate,” he said softly causing the human to grin, “We only leave if the humans are a threat, and you’re obviously not.”

Techno nodded quickly and the small smile returned to his face.

“I’m- I’m really glad,” Techno replied, “And I promise to make sure my pets are more well-behaved from now on.”

Phil laughed and gazed down at his saliva-stained clothes, “I sure hope so.”

Techno muttered out a weak apology that made the borrower wheeze with laughter. The two sat next to each other and talked with intense fascination for an hour before the borrower finally returned to his place in the walls.

A roommate had never really sounded nice to Techno before, but for Phil he’d make an exception.

[gaymershigh]

I'm really glad to find your blog! It's really rare to see content of male or gender neutral reader on this fandom. 💕

So, I was thinking, how would the Savanaclaw trio, Jamil and Idia react to a Male! Reader with a really deep/low voice that gets even deeper when they wake up 👉👈.

Ooooooh!! This sounds so interesting! Hearing a veeeery deep and I assume- sexy deep voice is one amazing thing to experience when you first wake up, I would love it but would be scared a tiny bit! (C_C)

Triggers: none

Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Jamil and Idia reacting to male s/o having a more deeper voice when he wakes up

Since it's Leona, it's impossible for him to wake himself up in time, so you have to him up yourself for the sake of him going to class and for the sake of helping Ruggie's sanity.

It took about 10 to 13 attempts to wake this man up, he would either shrug you off or try to make you go back to sleep. But that's because you were just poking him, no words or anything and you're still tired.

When you spoke, this man was fully awake. Not even a tiny bit tired now, he got a sudden tingling sensation like he heard some weird asmr or something.

He will stare at you with his eyes slightly wide but what you didn't know, his eyes were bugged out from the sudden deep voice.

He was a bit fascinated with your already deep voice but hot damn, he didn't even know it could get lower? He's loving it though.

Please keep talking or he might fall asleep but don't talk too long or he'll fall back to sleep. Balance is the key!

He really loves your deeper voice and he's not denying it but he won't say it to your face.

Hope he can hears your deeper voice everytime he wakes up, so of course he'll be both not and intentionally be lazier and making it harder to wake him up.

He's always wakes up you up first and you somehow always got the energy so you suddenly being still not fully awake is a new for him.

Your sudden deeper voice is also a new for him and its a pleasant one too.

The hyena was doing the usual, waking you up so you got a few time to spend before and seeing the usual Savanclaw early routines but for some reason, you just had to stay up late doing whatever.

He was getting himself ready and a few meters away from you so he might not get the exquisite experience Leona did but he still got something and it's still as shocking.

Your tired groan is enough to make his ears flick and tail stand straight up. He slowly turned to his bed where you are, seeing you rub your eyes innocently but your voice says otherwise.

You kept blabbering about how you want to go back to sleep and you're tired or whatever but he didn't listen- no, couldn't listen well. Your voice was so enticing and sexy, he wished he could listen to it forever.

He shook the provocative thoughts off and went about his day but your deep voice sometimes randomly pop up on his mind, causing him to blush out of the blue.

He always wakes up early to go jogging and other healthy things that you couldn't afford to do at five in the morning but he still respects you and your limits nonetheless.

He woke up as usual but there was a sudden obstacle he had to pass through. You decided to sleep in his room since you had to deal with some problems until midnight and you walking all the way home feels like an impossible task.

So of course you two cuddled to feel eachother's warmth (that sounded wrong) and just chatted for a bit until both of you fell asleep. So the current problem is, you wrapped your arms around his body and legs around his.

He really didn't want to wake you up but he neither doesn't want to ruin his healthy routine. Plus, he doesn't want to leave Vil exercising by himself and probably upset him. Life's hard, man.

He hesitated but he has to do so for the sake of fitness life or whatever. He took his arms of off you and asked you to wake up as he needs to move.

It took a while but you manage to open your eyes and take your arms off him. Your "good morning" caught him off guard. It was 10× deeper than before. He quietly gasped and his tail straightens.

He mentioned it to you and thought you were sick of something. He calmed down when you reassure him and the thought won't bug him that much like the others. Though, the feeling of vibration from your voice hitting his chest made him felt something. Putting your head on his upper torso was a very good idea!

He thought that your voice is very manly and awesome and wish to have a gruff voice just like yours. Want to stop or encourage him? Your choice.

You two usually meet up at the cafeteria very early in the morning because he always needs to pack up Kalim's foods for the day. You decided to wake up early and keep him company since it's kinda comforting, no?

You just couldn't help but think how lonely he felt waking up at about 4 or something to do simple things that Kalim could just learn to do it by himself if he wasn't so dependent? What a hell of a life. Not in good way, too.

You always manage to arrive as soon as he does or sometimes even earlier than him. This makes him happy, you genuinely care for him and he could him express all his bottled feelings more than anyone would ever witness.

However, today was different. He already arrived 15 minutes ago and you still haven't showed up. He was worried, are you ok? Did something happen? Or were you just not interested to meet up with him? Did you found someone else!?

He shook off the thought, you're probably just so tired and still knocked out on the bed. No human can keep an unnecessary streak for years if they got a choice not to do it and he accepted that. Not everyone is perfect, he thought. (but you still are to his eyes)

His eyes lit up as he heard the cafeteria door open and footsteps getting closer. He looked back to see the guest of honor: you!

He greeted like the usual, saying good morning with a soft smile but what he didn't expect was for you to greet back with such a low and kinda hot tone.

You were still sleepy, it's obvious since you weren't really talkative so he didn't mention about it until probably around lunchtime, anytime you were fully awake and not in this sleepy state.

He had mixed feelings about your voice. It was kinda scary and eerie to hear it at midnight or early morning, especially when it'd this dark and you were just lurking in the shadows when you said those words but it's very sexy and really likes to hear that voice again, he's confused.

You two would always game with eachother in his room. Either until sunset or wake up a bit early to have some time before getting ready for school. You would always have to hear Ortho nag about how unhealthy your midnight/morning routine is and all but at this point, who cares?

This time, you stayed at Ramshackle Dorm and both decided to play it at morning. It sucks since you didn't get enough sleep last night due to Crowley shenanigans or whatever but you still didn't want to cancel the plans with your boyfriend so you'll just have to hear an annoying alarm go off on your phone.

It felt impossible to wake up but you manage. An alarm going off with Grim complaining how noisy it was really boosted your energy but you were still tired and was too lazy to wash your face.

He was already waiting for you in a lobby and you quickly joined in. It seems like nobody else is in this lobby this time, which was weird but at least they don't have to hear you sound half asleep or something.

He greeted you like the usual, he sounded more energetic than you. Guess he took proper sleep this time like you. You greeted back and you can hear the gasp of shock and confusion from the voice chat. It was silent for a few awkward seconds.

But he broke it by saying how your voice was deeper and how sexy amazing it sounds. You awkwardly laughed about it and he started the game, still talking about your deeper voice.

He's too much of a chicken to admit it but he reallt loved your voice. Your current deep voice was already baffling and hearing you talk or even rant for hours feels like some sort of weird voice heaven. But your deeper morning voice? Oh dear, hearing it loud and clearly from the headphones gives him shivers down his spine, it felt so close lie you were whispering in his ear.

I had so much fun writing this. I woke up and the first thing I do is get straight to doing this request, don't know why but I like this sudden energy! (°∀°)b

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎