#it will never be funny how the narrative treats anyone over 20 as having an established life and career | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

troglobite · 8 months

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laskjdfldksj

well.

i'm extremely good at figuring out and intuiting the rules of games and gameified situations.

i don't need to read an instruction manual--often those are poorly written and more confusing

all i need to do is watch 5-15 minutes of gameplay, and i completely understand what's going on, and will be able to figure it out and replicate it better than the ppl i'm watching play the game.

there are exceptions of course--like longform deck building games. i can figure out exactly how to play them, but knowledge of every single card, the meta on strategies and specific decks, and the whole thing w like different color decks etc., that all still takes a lot of time to study and memorize, of course. i can't cheat familiarity with all of the cards and the meta on strategy, i can just figure out the rule systems in which they're playing and strategizing

games with much simpler rules and gameplay, i can easily figure out the strategies for, though

anyway all this to say

this is exactly the same kind of thinking and problem solving and attention that i apply to social situations

i just now realized that part of why i remain so quiet in new situations isn't just because i'm scared and don't wanna fuck up, i'm also intensely observing. and i've always known that i was observing, but i figured it was like, optimizing for Which Mask Do I Wear Here/With These People

but no, i'm also intensely figuring out the social norms and rules. that obviously takes a LOT LONGER, but i can figure it out.

and honestly i think this is why streamers with irritating chats are SO fucking irritating to me

i'm like--you JUST popped in, you didn't read the chat rules, you don't know anyone or anything here, and you're just??? DEMANDING ATTENTION??? WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???

which is perfectly in line w my trauma response character flaw of

"I BENT OVER BACKWARDS AND EXPENDED ENERGY I DIDN'T HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW BEST TO OPERATE IN THIS SITUATION AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? HORRIBLE! ABSOLUTELY DETESTABLE! BEGONE FROM MY SIGHT YOU FUCKING MISTAKE!"

anyway like i said trauma response character flaw :)

i never say anything like that out loud or treat anyone much different at all based on that, it's just my internal narrative/monologue

and it's entirely rooted in my own bullshit

and when it's games and their rules, i can play it off for laughs. "don't read the instructions i can just tell you how to play" or jokingly 'screaming' at the game designer themself getting the rules of the game wrong, when they spent years on it and i learned it in 20 mins by watching ppl play incorrectly (and i figured out how/why they were playing incorrectly)

but when it's real fucking life and socializing, it's not fun or funny, and i simply don't vocalize it.

but i'm realizing this kind of behavior is all the same thing.

this is also what allows me to, for the most part, bake something correctly on my first attempt. i just watch people do it a few times, learn to intuit what the instructions mean, then just Do It.

i'm one of those people who says "just follow the fucking recipe" (not literally, but like, metaphorically) bc to me it just Makes Sense that you would Follow The Recipe and It Would Work. like if you're following the recipe, how do you fuck that up?

ohhh my god now realizing this is also probably why i was good at test taking in school.

i simply figured out what the fuck the test wanted from me, studied the correct stuff, and i didn't sweat abt it bc if i didn't know, then i could make a decent guess. you just strategize and figure out what the test is, y'know?

same fucking thing in school in general--just figure out the rules and expectations, follow and meet them, boom done.

and now here i am also a person who enjoys puzzles. escape rooms, riddles, literal puzzles. //sigh

all of those are mostly fun for me bc of the satisfaction of figuring something out and being right.

i'm trying to decide if that's bad or not, but i'm seriously congested and am developing a horrible headache bc my bed smells like lysol

even though i've used lysol to "spruce" up my mattress and the weighted portions of my weighted blankets DOZENS of times WITHOUT ISSUE, for SOME reason, this time EVERYTHING REEKS OF LYSOL and it WON'T GO AWAY even though it has been FUCKING HOURS and i'm NOT EVEN TOUCHING ANYTHING THAT HAD LYSOL ON IT

IT ALL AIRED OUT AND GOT COVERED BY SOMETHING ELSE

SO WHY AM I SMELLING LYSOL

anyway i'm literally in hell and here was a useless look into how my brain works

final thought that just occurred to me:

everybody who's been playing dnd for 15 years, and exclusively 5e for several years: wait, okay so their AC is 15? i rolled a 15. what does that mean?

me, screaming and tearing my hair out: MEETS IT BEATS IT!!!!! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!!! YOU HIT THEIR ARMOR CLASS!!!!!! AKSJDHFALK HFLAHJSFKSDJ

anyway :)

i'm a rules lawyer for games in case that wasn't clear. and being a dm AND a rules lawyer is basically impossible. :)

everyone needs a rules lawyer! including for homebrew rules and rulings! just so long as you're not a dick abt it :)

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soul-dwelling · 1 year

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Also funny that if Soul Eater world is so "mad and wacky!!!" compared to fire force, it seems that Stein is quite sane, because he atleast seemed to get at some level that his thoughts were wrong, his madness seemed to come in ways, he never really mistreated children when not playing charachter and he actually had to deal with his mental health. While Kurono, from this supposedly relativly sane world, is basically like from some british dark comedy sketch (like "village sniper", youtube it)

Yeah, pretty much.

I have a lot to say about Stein below, so I’ll start with Kurono.

At best, maybe you can read how more accepted Kurono is as an indictment of the science and the economics in Fire Force, that a monopoly like Haijima is that desperate to unlock more power and knowledge that they willingly employ someone who needs help, not a job where he gets to bully a walking child nuclear disaster like Nataku. Haijima is so greedy that it is willing to get results in whatever way possible: they’re like something out of fiction, such as Waternoose in Monsters Inc, or our own real-world villains who deplete natural resources and human bodies for just one more dollar for the stockholders. But this seems too subtle an argument for Fire Force, which I wish would have just metaphorically bashed me over the head to emphasize, “Yes, you are not supposed to like that Haijima has Kurono supervising Nataku, the fact that Charon and the White Clads--you know, the bad guy--approve of this should also make you realize Haijima and Kurono are bad”--but the story never pulls it off to my satisfaction.

As I’ll discuss (at length) below, Stein is a character who fits so well in the overall wacky vibe of Soul Eater that it doesn’t quite make sense to me that so many characters treat him as an outlier, as someone not normal.

(Maybe that is the point, to show the characters are being hypocritical? But if so, the story itself lends enough atmosphere to make readers read Stein the same way--the shading, the panel framing, Stein’s expressions.) Is it just narrative shorthand, a lazy way to communicate to the audience, “If you think these characters are intimidating, then you should recognize that Stein is much worse, and that’s why you should fear him--even though he really doesn’t seem that much weirder than anyone else so far”?

I mean, Stein does have a screw through his head, so I appreciate that visual metaphor as to why you’re supposed to think he’s weird--Maka, Black Star, and Kid look normal by comparison (and we’ll just skip over Soul’s teeth, as that ruins my argument here). But, and maybe I’m misreading this, in an odd way, Stein’s head-screw is also not that weird, not just within this fictional story but in our own real world? Body augmentation is more accepted now in 2023 than it was 20 years ago. We’re not at the point that people are putting objects through their head, but this just seems to me like Stein acting as an exaggerated but sympathetic portrayal of just how much people alter their bodies for their self-actualization--a lighthearted way of poking fun at body augmentation without punching down or being mean. I mean, right now in 2023, I see so much discussion about Stein as being a bit of a trans narrative, and so much headcanon that Stein is indeed a trans man.

I would accept the treatment of Kurono and Stein if there was consistency--but that consistency is less tenable once you make Fire Force and Soul Eater the same timeline.

I’ll get to this later in my response, but did no one remember how things used to be before Shinra’s actions and realize, “Oh, Stein acting like this isn’t ‘madness,’ it is a natural response to this post-Evangelist world.”

I’m not saying that means Stein’s behavior is good, but it gives an explanation why this is happening to him--and yet he seems to be the only science-minded person to understand how to treat the condition.

And I get that maybe there is a translation problem here, or at least a problem in how we are defining “madness”: do we mean “madness” in the more psychological sense of being a mental condition, or do we mean “madness” in that Lovecraftian sense of a problem of perspective?

Either way, I’m not convinced it works in this story once you reveal Fire Force is in the same timeline, at least not in a way that is encouraging. People should know the history well enough to get that Stein is hardly a rare case and that a lot of people have changed because the Evangelist’s influence persists in the form of the Madness of Fear. And people should know, after seeing another dimension, that madness is a perspective change, and while the Madness of Fear is dangerous, it is shown to be treatable (Kim’s healing magic, Marie’s healing wavelength, steps taken to lower the chance Crona becomes a Kishin).

All of this is “realistic” insofar as of course humans suck and still don’t understand something that is right in front of them regardless of all the evidence shared by experts (human-influenced climate change, for example). That’s how, despite having Kim, Marie, and others here, the only ones who avoid falling into Madness by their actions are characters like Angela and Stein, while Crona is (as one other post on Tumblr shows) inevitably cursed by circumstances and upbringing to always be on the edge of becoming a Kishin--before they end up becoming the Kishin on the Moon in the final chapter.

So, realistic, but not thematically appealing. Stein gets saved, but not Crona.

And, yeah, this is pretty much a case of Stein’s thoughts not being normal--but the actions he takes based on those thoughts are not causing irreparable damage or crossing a line that can’t be undone. This is talking about Stein in the manga, granted, seeing as his alignment with Medusa in the anime is presented as him abandoning the DWMA and willing to kill Marie Crona. But in the manga, how was Stein’s behavior any different than other teachers? Sid and Lord Death were nowhere near as vicious, but they doled out corporal punishment as well--and Sid was fine hanging his own son Black Star up on the blackboard after Stein beat the shit out of him as an example to teach the other students not to cheat.

I’m not justifying Stein’s vivisection of living humans and animals as he did to Spirit and that one bird in class--again, not good, but how is that different than Misery willing to cripple Tsugumi or Kid shooting Black Star and Soul? Realistically, no, that is all awful--but tonally, this is a cartoonish series where the physics and gags are so over-the-top that I don’t get how we are to take these as crossing a line that other characters did not.

About the only thing I can think of right now that crosses an unforgivable line is Stein feeling up Maka in his first appearance and commenting on her body. But context here matters as well. Yes, it is gross and in keeping with the other gross voyeuristic gaze throughout Ohkubo’s works. And I definitely hate the “we have the man mistreat women and girls to show he is really evil”--that is some “stuffed in the fridge” bullshit. But, again, the context here matters: we’re not supposed to like Stein here; we are supposed to be horrified that he would go that far; we like Maka and want her to stop Stein.

And there is a plot-based reason: Stein was instructed by Lord Death to put the fear of dying into them, and he went as far as he could to make himself appear evil. And that leads to the thematic reason this is here as well. I am certain I’m missing examples after this point in the manga where the creepy factor around girls does not stop--but if those moments stopped right here at his initial test of Maka and classmates, I’m not saying I could forgive it, but I would better understand it and recognize how effective it is at raising the stakes. It’s still gross, but it has thematic purpose: the major threat a girl like Maka is facing is a creepy adult man who is touching her--that can resonate as a warning as to the threat children, especially girls, face when contending with gross men.

And yet, despite all of this about Stein, the story still treats him as a pariah--which doesn’t quite make sense within Soul Eater given how “mad” and quirky everyone else, and makes even less sense once Fire Force shows people had more than 800 years to accept that the Evangelist’s diffused presence and the alteration of physics by her and Shinra makes a world where this kind of quirkiness and “closeness to death” should have been acceptable.

What is the baseline for “normal” here? If people can survive fatal injuries (Maka’s attacks on Soul, Blair having multiple lives) and dismemberments (Hajiki in Fire Force) and even come back to life (Sid as a zombie), what line has Stein actually crossed that he is made the bad guy? I’m not saying you can’t pull that off; I’m saying I don’t know what the story is showing to justify why we the audience should think Stein went over the line.

This feels like narrative shorthand--when the story itself is enough for that. Stein by appearance and demeanor already looks unsettling--that should be enough. And it should be enough because it seems to reinforce the point I thought the series was going for, that looks can be deceiving, so stop being prejudicial: the little girl is not some helpless victim in a slasher movie and can just as easily kill the serial killer; the loudmouth may have more going on upstairs than you think; the goofy-voice cartoony skeleton may actually be super powerful and intimidating; the posh put-together rich boy may have a lot of anxiety; the hipster cool guy may not be as chill as he seems; the school nurse may not be as kind as she seems; the “villain” may be dealing with their own traumas and need understanding, not an execution.

Instead, it feels like Ohkubo said, “Let me just talk up how Stein is a walking taboo, even though everything else in this story is also a walking taboo, and that should justify why everyone is creeped out and worried about him.”

It feels like this is feeding into Ohkubo’s misanthropy and pessimism, that humans still screw things up--which, if that is what you are going for in your story, why does Stein ultimately come out the other end of this story pretty much okay?

This ties into another problem: how come the rest of the world never once brought up anything from Fire Force? The world used to be 3D, then there was a global fire, then another global fire, then things became cartoony, and the calendar evidently reset to start the years over again. All we get at the end of Fire Force is Maka’s parents reading her a book about what the world used to be like--and it just never comes up at all in Soul Eater? Did Shinra not tell everyone everything? 800+ years later, did people just forget or misremember?

I’m not saying this is unrealistic: it’s rare for any of us, in the middle of the day, to stop to give a history lesson. It still happens, whether a literal history lesson in school, or a parent explaining something to a child (as we get at the end of Fire Force), or listening to a video essay or podcast, or reading the news.

But while it’s not unrealistic, it is unbelievable, if that makes sense. In other words, the story itself has never brought this up, so it gets forced into the final chapter to set up a completely different series that is already set up and doesn’t need a prequel. There has to be a certain level of believability. Lord Death never thought, “Huh, wonder if Asura’s eye motif has anything to do with that Evangelist.”

I get it, Ohkubo probably didn’t come up with Fire Force until after Soul Eater--which ends up souring me more on the prequel nonsense. But if he had already thought of Fire Force, I would have liked that back story sneaking its way into Soul Eater, and it just never did. We don’t get Fire Force stuff popping up in Soul Eater worldbuilding, the equivalent of off-hand mentions of names and places that become important later (as in One Piece), or ideas that are first mentioned in trivia sections of the manga volumes or in companion encyclopedia (as with My Hero Academia), or explained in light novels (as in Bungo Stray Dogs).

#stein #fire force spoiler #fire force spoilers #long post #spoiler #spoilers #dwells whines about fire force

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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Robin Jason, a friend and ally of the Titans.

PART 1.

Last Friday I was feeling extra rage-y after the news about the Titans mini with the Titans show line-up of heroes. I still think that a) Jason shouldn’t be considered a Titan or be in the team as Red Hood and b) that him going back to wearing a bat symbol on his chest is just bad but as @randomlut said there is a possibility of that book not being set in DC’s current universe and if that’s the case then okay, I will not complain about it anymore.

But this post isn’t about that Titans book it’s about Jason’s Robin’s appearances in volume two of the New Teen Titans!

Now, this won’t be an in-depth review of those issues from a story point of view, it will be a post in which I talk about Jason’s characterization and interactions with the Titans. Maybe I will even dive a little bit into why I think that the interactions that Jason and Roy have in those issues makes the relationship that they had in New52 very out of place.

Let’s begin!

· NTT (1984) #19

Jason as Robin appears here only in the last page of the issue. After the current team of the Titans appears to be falling apart Donna calls Jason and others to help in a mission, this team that she puts together resembles the “original” line-up with Robin, Speedy, (Kid) Flash, Aqualad and Hawk.

· NTT (1884) #20-21

Jason appears in the Titans tower along the OG Titans, when Donna finally tells them what the mission is all about (stopping Cheshire from interrupting a meeting) she asks if they are in on the job, Jason is not only excited about being there but about Batman actually letting him come all the way to the tower. A little bit of what Jason thinks or saw in Bruce is shown when Wally says that he “didn’t think the Batman could be thrilled by anything. He is always so grim.”

Basically, what Jason says is that the Bat isn’t that bad if you get to know him and that he cares about Jason’s education outside of vigilantism. Also, Jason seems to be grateful and very receptive of the things that Bruce taught him, he regards him as a very good mentor.

After everyone decides to help, they get on their jet. Here we have a very important interaction between Jason and Donna, she is telling him how she is feeling about the attitude of the rest of the team and about how she is a little bit lost now that she is in charge of the Titans and then she asks what Robin thinks about the whole thing, Jason is obviously thrilled once more, someone as experienced as Donna is asking him for his opinion? It blows his mind away! Batman never does that, he is always following his lead and never has a say on what they do so, to him, helping the Titans is only getting better and maybe he will ask the Bat to let him join them permanently.

Because they were talking Donna wasn’t paying much attention while flying and after they barely avoid crashing the jet, she apologizes to everyone and once more looks for reassurance with Jason, this time Jason is caught off guard but after Hawk teases him about his hesitation he tells her that “everything’s okay”.

When they arrive to Switzerland (where the meeting will be held) we have Jason’s first interaction with Roy Harper and him also slowly transforming into a burrito, that boy was cold and pissed off about it!

It’s really funny to me that Roy talking about Oliver’s pervy arrows is his very first interaction with Jason, who would have thought that a mad man would later make them besties?

They all go inside a building to get warm and for a while Jason is just chilling while the other Titans are all having an existential crisis, because here is the thing, Jason is a kid, he was presumably 14 here while all the other are in their twenties. Donna is having trouble with her new position as leader of the Titans, Wally is trying to live up to Barry, Garth is grieving his love, Roy is still very uncomfortable about being on a mission that involves Cheshire and Hank is just crazy. The others are trying to complete a mission while their real-life problems loom over them and Jason is just on an adventure with cool people.

Its not much later than Cheshire attacks the Titans, she first takes on Wally because he is her biggest threat and then detonates a bomb, now here I will give a little bit of context, Cheshire does not want to kill the Titans as of now, she just wants to incapacitate them because them being there is making her own mission more complicated, all I will say is that she doesn’t truly have villainous intentions and that she has a very weak spot for Roy.

Anyway, the bomb incapacitates Garth and Roy and Cheshire also managed to shoot Wally so only Donna, Hank and Jason are left standing to capture Cheshire, but here is the thing, Hank doesn’t want to capture her, he wants to kill her.

Jason has interacted very few times with Hank so far and it has always been Hank teasing him but now as Jason is going to fight Cheshire Hank interrupts him telling him that he will do “what has to be done”. Cheshire of course wont fall easily and I think that at this very moment she is thinking that killing Hank wouldn’t be a bad idea because he is going to mess her plans up! But not to worry as she is raising her gun Jason comes in to save his ass!

Jason is not a match for Cheshire and after that she quickly subdues him. But what’s important here is two things, first Jason doesn’t want or consider the idea of killing Jade, he just wants to capture her and bring her to justice, secondly, he doesn’t even want her to kill Hank, who has been violent towards every Titan and rude to Jason every single time that he has interacted with him. What I am trying to say is that this IS Robin Jason, he doesn’t think or act the same as Red Hood will in the future, he has his opinions on what punishments killers should get but he is not there to kill anyone himself.

There is this whole page where Donna beats Hank against a tree so he stops killing, because that’s not what the Titans do, she explains that if they do that then the public (that is already quite afraid of them) will just fear them more and they don’t need that, plus she believes that he is acting that way out of grief after losing his brother, as she is saying all of this though she is putting quite a lot of pressure on his chest and that might have ended up in her actually killing Hank if Jason hasn’t been there to stop her.

Donna is obviously not having a good time and after this she says that she “has had it” and that from now on Robin should “take command” because “its his group anyway”. Oh man…its clear to the reader that Donna is not having a good time being team leader but she also misses a certain person a lot. She is obviously not seeing Jason there, she is seeing Dick, the person that she is used to take orders from but he is not there.

Jason is aware of this, he might be a kid and might not have as many problems as the other Titans as of now but he is not a fool and he doesn’t want people to see someone else when they look at him, so he confronts Donna about what she just said/did.

Jason is just great in this scene; he just doesn’t want people that he admires to treat him as if he were someone that he isn’t. Just because Dick isn’t there doesn’t mean that he (because he is Robin) can replace him, they are not the same person and they do not have the same experience. He calls out Donna on her behaviour towards him and Donna being an adult takes responsibly for her actions and understands that ultimately, she was hurting Jason’s feelings. We have a kinda wholesome moment when they hug but because this is written by Marv Wolfman and he just can’t help himself, he proceeds to write Jason as a horny teenager. What a way to ruin the moment Marv…

Back to Cheshire, she is about to kick Wally’s face in when she decides to first tell him what he has to tell the others when they wake up, which is “Cheshire remembers”.

Wally tells the Titans Cheshire’s message but none of them truly understands what it means, Hank says that he doesn’t even understand why they are alive. Donna comes to the conclusion that Cheshire might want something from them and this is where Jason gives his thoughts, he says “Doesn’t matter what she wants. We take care of her. She’s a killer.”, its clear once more than although Jason (as Robin) wouldn’t kill anyone he does feel a certain type of way about criminals and wants them to be locked up.

After yet another verbal fight between Hank and Donna the Titans take a cable car to their next location, Jason is shown as exited about the view and the whole experience once more. When they arrive, they find Faraday (the guy that called Donna for help in #19) and he explains a bit more the situation but Jason once more is having trouble staying warm so he goes to the cable car tunnel nearby, but he doesn’t go alone, Roy goes with him because his “costume wasn’t made for this kind of weather either”, in this second interaction between these two we get to see Jason’s detective skills shine.

Jason has been watching Roy and he found his reaction to Cheshire’s message quite sus. Not only is he showing his detective skills here but he also said in a previous panel this: “The Batman keeps telling me to watch people’s eyes. And every so often I notice you become awfully agitated…like something was going on you didn’t want to be part of”. Zdarsky, hey pal, I am talking to you, look at this dude! He read Roy like an open book, this is Robin Jason, he likes being Robin and he is brilliant at it, he is methodical because he learnt from paying attention and working with Batman, so, you sir are wrong, not only did UtRH disprove your dumb narrative but so does this interaction (along all his appearances in this book).

Roy is impressed by the kid, and yeah, he calls him kid because he is a kid…Roy is visibly older than Jason as he should, do you see it Lobdell? Yeah, there is no dubious age gap between those two as you made it seem. Roy is impressed because between both of them he is the one that is most experienced, not the other way around. How did Lobdell manage to make up a whole as run where not only were Roy and Jason close in age and besties but also Jason was better at vigilantism than Roy and Roy was the one being impressed. It’s wild, wild and bad.

Back to the issue, Jason taken out of the fight quite fast once more by Cheshire and she proceeds to talk to Roy, that’s where we find out that they were lovers and that she feels weak when she is around him because he makes her feel feelings but that’s not all, she tells Roy that he is “the man that fathered my child” …Oh and now she does want to kill him. That’s where #20 ends, so let’s see what happens with Jason in #21.

In the beginning of #21 Jason is conscious once more and when he hears Cheshire’s threat, he attacks her so she can’t shoot Roy, he also says this “Sorry ‘cat’ that’s a definite no-no. Don’t you know mommy’s and daddies should never fight” I, I don’t know why he had to say it like that…the 80s were weird. While Jason is being himself Roy is thinking “Don’t be cocky kid, Jade hasn’t got a sense of humour…” but because he wants to talk to Jade, he tells Jason to go, that he will handle Cheshire and he leaves.

Roy and Jade talk, Donna and Hawk are fighting bad guys and each other and at some point, Jason joins Garth and helps him take down a couple of guys, he also tries to make conversation with him but Garth is still not talking to anybody.

Cheshire tells Roy that he will never hear about their child again and that he needs to let her do her thing and stay out of it because he doesn’t understand what’s going on, Roy doesn’t do what she asks and she “poisons” him. Donna saves a guy that Hank was trying to kill. After Cheshire leaves Roy comes to the conclusion that she wasn’t there to kill the people from the meeting or that she poisoned him, but because they were there and everything went to shit now the people that were getting together are blaming the Titans for the interruption. The whole thing is a mess and the news channel are not nice about the Titans as a whole, but I am not interested in exploring that here. All you need to know is that the people that made Cheshire do what she did to the Titans were the Brother Blood people.

It’s on the jet that we see Jason again, he and the others are going back to the tower. Because the news are painting the Titans as bad when they are arriving to the tower Jason sees a lot of people protesting about them and he feels bad. This was his first job with the Titans and he is a kid, imagine how sad it would make you if you wanted to help and after getting the job done people were mad at you. But even though he is sad about that he takes time to ask Roy if he is okay after he sees him almost running away from the tower, he doesn’t get a response but he isn’t mad about it.

Jason’s stay with the Titans comes to and end and he says that he loved hanging out with them and is grateful for having been invited, he is so sweet!

· NTT (1884) #24

Here, for some reason, we see Jason saying goodbye to the Titans again and unlike at the end of #21 Roy is there to see him leave.

I am not going to lie though; I liked this goodbye better it feels like it’s more complete than the other one. Here he says that Batman wants him back in Gotham but that if the Titans ever need him again all they need to do is call. He also mentions Nightwing which is funny because he will be called by Donna again in #26 to help the Titans get Dick back from Brother Bloods Church.

I am going to cut this part here because issues 26 to 31 have a lot of Jason content that I want to explore and I can’t put any more pictures here, also this post is already long as it is now!

I just love Jason’s little moments in these issues, him confronting Donna and reading Roy like and open book in #20 are my absolute favourite, I just think this is a nice way to kinda show how wrong some current characterizations of Robin Jason are and what better way to do that than reading and looking into some good stories.

Oh! Before I forget, in #21 Roy leaves the Titans’ tower to go see Jade and he actually gets to meet his daughter Lian for the first time, so yeah, that was a wholesome moment!

#jason todd #robin jason todd #batman and robin #titans #new teen titans #donna troy #roy harper #cheshire #garth of shayeris #wally west #red hood #urban legends red hood

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thelovelyghostwriter · 3 years

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Ranking the HxH guys in my Simping Tier: Countdown

Note: This is just for fun and lame-ass humour. You are free to like anyone in hxh and this tier doesn’t reflect how great the character is. It’s just a ranking based on how much I simp for them.

14. Meruem

Okay. There’s a reason why Meruem is at the last list. He’s an ant. He’s not even fully human FML. Can’t believe people wanna fuck this teenaged mutant ninja ant. Can’t even say those people are a furry because this ant has no fur. It’s a no for me.

13. Illumi

The Illumi simps are gonna hack me for having him too low. I find him cute and has really nice hair that can be for shampoo ads... but his eyes... it covers 70% of his face. It’s guppy eyes. It’s like he wore those coloured contact lenses that enlarges the eyes.

12. Shalnark

OKay. Shalnark is cute. He’s really one of the most good looking guys in the series. However, I don’t know why but his personality is kinda “ehh”. He’s a little psycho who controls people with his phone, but somehow his personality is overshadowed by a lot of extreme characters with Hisoka. Also, I try not to get too attached to him because of what happens in the current arc.

11. Kite

Okay. This is weird but... I find Kite more attracted when he’s a red-headed female ant right now. Okay. I know I went all like “MERUEM ISNT EVEN HUMAN” but female Kite LOOKS human. She has freckles and all that. It’s real cute. But I’d say he’s a little lower because he doesn’t really have that “oomph” personality so-

10. Pariston

Now, talk about a character with FABULOUS presentation of himself. Pariston shows himself off with extravagance. NOW, that’s a personality. He’s like one of those celebs that are just so extra like Lady Gaga that it’s amazing. I know he’s underrated in the simping world, but he’s essentially kinda like Hisoka (who has a big simping fandom), only he prefers to play with people’s minds rather than fight people.

9. Tserriednich

You might be wondering, why the fuck is he here? Okay, first of all, he reminds me of Hannibal who is by the way, charming. And yes I mean it in the Mads Mikkelsen AND the Anthony Hopkins way. Makes me wanna his Clarice but I’d rather have Theta have that spot. Secondly, he’s a prince so being his bride is literally a dream come true. Thirdly, yeh, Tserriednich is actually very handsome. Nice blond hair and that facial beard.

8. Gon

He’s quite low on the tier because I had always seen him as a cute green mini-Ging. Personality-wise, he’s really sweet and I can see a lot of girls liking him because he knows how to treat women respectfully. He can even handle the crazy ones like Palm. His alpha side came out during the Chimera Ant arc and his adult form is hella attractive.

Jokes aside, this character is really amazing as an MC. It’s sad that he gets overshadowed but I believe he’s a pretty unique shounen MC because most of the time, a shounen MC doesn’t kill or has a pretty much black-and-white morality. Gon Freecss breaks that stereotype and he’s truly appreciated.

7. Leorio

Listen to me. This man is supposed to be the type of man you’re supposed to marry. Doctor, loyal, caring and funny. This man is the total package. I think the reason why he’s a little lower in my simp tier is because well... he’s the type of guy that I will go for in reality. In fiction, that’s where all my crushes for crazy guys should be. My simp tier is based on my heart, not brain.

6. Killua

Okay. I was down bad for Killua when I was younger. DOWN BAD. So down bad that it was scary. I sort of got over him now. But what can you do? Killua is simped by a lot of teenaged girls or women who had a crush on him since the beginning of time. He’s fiercely loyal, has white hair and pretty blue eyes, is a fun mixture of mischief and seriousness. He’s the type of guy you can count on to get out of trouble and one to always treasure you. I do think that if I ever meet Killua though, that he’d bully me to oblivion.

Okay, we’re at the top 5. From here onwards, some real NSFW simping words.

5. Hisoka

I kinda do understand Hisoka stans, but at the same time, I do not get them. Like him or not, he’s a very flamboyant character. He stands out of the crowd and he just have that unexplained charisma.

He’s actually a really well-written character. He’s the balancing factor in the narrative of HxH. He’s like the joker in the deck of cards. Back to my simp tier, he’s very attractive ESPECIALLY with his hair down. There’s a certain aura that is addictive about him that I can’t pin-point. And for that, he earns my top 5 spot.

4. Feitan

I swear. This simping phenomenon actually manifested from Hiei. Yes, Feitan’s character blueprint, Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho. (The real OGs will know that Hiei is the character blueprint, not Levi). I know a lot of people compare him to Levi but let me explain why Levi and Feitan are alike: it’s because their character blueprint is Hiei.

Anyway, Hiei is HOT. And to me, the hxh equivalent is Feitan, with a huge addition of sadism and emo-ness. Okay, that makes it even hotter.

I have read some Feitan/Reader on AO3 and BOI. I enjoyed reading certain stuff that I never thought I would enjoy. I read a fic about Reader-chan getting whipped and basically all sorts of BDSM and OMG it’s heaven.

“They say all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you”

3. Chrollo

At first, I didn’t really care about Chrollo until he wore that tuxedo and let his hair down (Is it just me or a lot of hxh boys look good with their hair down?). HE LOOKS SO GODLY HOLY FUCK.

I’m 100% sure that his character blueprint for the hair-down is Koenma. He also gives me Tuxedo Mask vibes. Overall, such chivalry and handsomeness all in one man. Not to mention, that sexy sexy voice when he recites his fortune-telling. I would say he has the sexiest voice among all hxh guys. He is just that HOT and charismatic. I wanna see where he hid that Spider tattoo and scratch his back.

2. Ging

Okay. Ging is hardly simp by girls. And I do not understand why?? He is motherfucking attractive. Even now. GAWD. I love him.

I think my attraction to him pre-started because he looks and acts SO much like my childhood crush Yusuke Urameshi from Yu Yu Hakusho. I know he’s an asshat but he’s a CHARMING asshat. Yeap, I said it. He is actually highly intelligent and just acts like a total haggard because he can.

It’s not just when he’s young. I STILL think he’s hot even in his 30s. He’s not that old for me to me honest. I don’t care if he’s a decade older than me because I think that’s the appeal of it. I

It’s kinda sad that he’s not that popular because I need some Ging/Reader smut content. Like, I envisioned a smut fic where the reader is like in her 20s and is strangely attracted to Ging. He’s wildly confused over this but he’s seriously considering of tapping it because his old ass haven’t had any action lately. The other Zodiacs are also confused and are convinced that he must have given some sex pollen to the reader because who the hell is sane enough to be attracted to him? (But it’s just that you need some acquired taste to actually find this man alluring). He’s one of the most fuckable characters ahhh.

And... for the last one...

Drumroll please....

1. Kurapika

Seriously, was there even a surprise.

THIS MAN IS THE AKAKU GOD. He’s beautiful, he’s sexy and fucking dominant (yes, I say he’s domineering because do you see the way he throws a hot tantrum during the whole YorkNew arc, demanding shit from his enemies, taking charge of everything?) His chains drives me nuts. I love it when he gets angry. I know he’s kinky on the inside. When he wore that tuxedo... ooof. He looks hella fine. He’s the only guy in hxh that fulfills my ala Michael Corleone mafia boss kink. I want him to ^&*(%%%*%^ (to save myself from embarrassment, I self-censored) as we attempt to repopulate the clan and produce more scarlet eyed babies, as he whispers some real degrading and possessive shit in Kurta while he tells me what to do. AHHHHH. *bye gotta go write some kuraneon porn now byeee*

#hxh #hunterxhunter #sorry im just down bad during quarantine #kurapika #akaku #kurapika akaku akaku #akaku god #ging #ging freecss #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #feitan #this is a shitpost

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kelluinox · 3 years

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Well, I read snk 139. And regret it.

1) Soooo right off the bat we have Armin and his condescending patronizing. Why am I not surprised. Sure, let's blame Eren for being fucking idiots and demand that he apologize to a girl who molested his corpse. Eren should've kicked Armin more.

2) FINALLY Armin gets it. FINALLY. Intelligent character you say? Judging by how long it took him to realize what Eren was doing - I think not.

3) God I don't like this narrative of keeping your humanity. I really don't. Season 1 conveyed a completely different idea.

4) ........ Well there goes any respect I had for Isayama. Ymir was in love with Karl Fritz?!? Stockholm syndrome much?!? That is not a pure emotion!! What the fuck?!? There are so many things wrong with this, I can't even—

5) Wait does this confirm that Eren didn't know about that disgusting kiss?!? Now I feel even more sick. And seriously, seeing Mikasa force herself on a disembodied head convinced Ymir to abandon Fritz and cured her of her Stockholm Syndrome??? How???

6) So Eren did send Dina after his mom to put himself on a certain path to save Paradis? Damn, that's brutal and heartbreaking at the same time. Imagine having to sacrifice your own mother in order to save your people. My heart...

7) Okay, I will seriously fight Armin now. MIKASA ISN'T OWED SHIT AND NEITHER ARE YOU AFTER THE WAY YOU'VE TREATED EREN FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THIS MANGA. And just because Mikasa risked her life to save Eren's (although he never asked her to) he is under no obligation to return her feelings so fuck off. I swear to God Armin has to be one of the most hypocritical and unlikeable characters in SNK by now.

8) ......... Please tell me I'm hallucinating. Isayama don't do this to me. Don't ruin Eren this way, I'm begging you. Making him a lovesick possessive idiot?! Are you serious?!

9) IT'S FUCKING GRISHA! I KNEW IT! But I also can't feel happy because I'm hating this conversation so much. So thanks.

10) Finally Eren gets some fucking gratitude. But Armin will let this conversation go to waste. That much has already been shown.

11) Well, 138 was fucking pointless. Thanks for nothing, Isayama.

12) This is so cheesy and stupid I just can't help but laugh, oh my god. Who wrote these dialogues?? Everybody fucking crying and praising Eren? "What a man you are" PFFFFFT. This is so stupid it has become comedic.

13) And the promotion of unhealthy relationships continues as Annie embraces the man who abused her her entire life.

14) And here we have the survivors talking to the dead in a happy ending. Can this get any more cliche? Someone please kill me now. End my suffering.

15) Fuck Karina. She doesn't get to apologize or demand Reiner to stay with her. I know several abusive mothers and they all deserved to have their asses abandoned by their children. All of them. I've supported several friends with mother issues, I know what I'm talking about.

16) Can Mikasa stop touching Eren's head? If anyone has to carry him, let it be Armin. Stalker kasa is giving me the heebie-jeebies. I feel like I need to wash my hands every time I see her, I feel so dirty and disgusted.

17) And Marley are pointing their guns again. Siiigh. Why did the Alliance save these guys again?

18) What does it fucking matter?!?! Wasn't the entire point of your speech before the Alliance arrived that you were all equal?!?! Why the hell are you asking whether they're humans or titans, thus showcasing your continued racism?!?!

19) Like hell you did Armin. Although I suppose it does make sense that he would protect his psychotic friend by claiming her 'achievement' of killing Eren as his own. God knows, her mental health is bad already. If she gets attention for killing Eren she just might go on a beheading spree, kissing everyone she kills on the way.

20) Okay, Historia and her child are so cute. Gaaaah. Even though I so far hate everything about this, I'm saving this panel of Historia holding her little girl. I'm not made of stone. But also thanks for officially making Historia irrelevant after setting up so much.

21) Great. The Rumbling is pointless. Eldia is forming a military now. The survivors of the world probably will too. Nobody learned their fucking lesson and this endless fighting will continue. Just peachy.

22) My god everyone is a parody of themselves now. Tell me this entire chapter is a late April Fools' joke. Reiner lusting after Historia... Sure, he did that in Season 1, but it wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now.

23) Historia putting people who betrayed her country under protection... Wow. That's definitely what a good leader does. I guess if my country ever gets betrayed during a war, it should definitely forgive and protect the traitors that could've brought about its destruction. Totally.

24) Can Mikasa please get some medication already? Her psychosis is getting worse.

25) Eren is now a bird? Or at least controlling it from 'beyond the grave'? Symbolism has always flown over my head, I'll admit. And yes, I realize that this is also a callback to his promise after Hannes' death. But I guess this is confirmation that Mikasa will now live with that scarf around her neck, dreaming about Eren to the end of her days and never truly moving on. What a great character arc that is.

Maybe I'll rant about this chapter more later on, but these are my thoughts so far. I didn't expect anything good, but I'm somehow disappointed anyway, so I guess Isayama can consider that an achievement on his part.

#I'm sad now #thanks for nothing #snk 139 #anti mikasa #anti armin #snk spoilers

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dangermousie · 3 years

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2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island, Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

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msgrumpygills · 3 years

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Honestly, I don't know how Jared's stans can "support" him or don't analyze his actions critically after that interview. I never understood weird emotional attachments to SPN cast where people acted as if those men are their actual family. I liked them, sure, but after r*pe jokes and the way they spoke about their children (for some that would be ok, for me it was icky) I distanced myself from SPN and generally lost my interest watching series. I came back, of course, right before the final, stayed after Hell that was Dean's ending (still don't know how Jensen agreed, probably couldn't breach the contract) and rediscovered the beautiful world of SPN stans. Back in the days it was Misha's stans with 'Misha has been bullied by j2' narrative but this whole "great betrayal" mess is outstanding.

But what is more outstanding is arguments that have been made after the interview. Jared shifted blame on fans. Like they created the "back stabbing" thing. He throwed the usual 'I love you brother' speach to wet someone's panties. It's an obvious damage control for his awful image. He wants people to believe it was funny misunderstanding, not misunderstanding with tantrum of a teenager.

But even if it is a cover up for Jensen, let's pretend. How does Jared benefit from this? Because this scenario insinuate that Jared's feelings were rightfully hurt (read those tweets again 😂), he forgave Jensen, but now suddenly nobody is to blame. It doesn't make any sense. Why would Jared defend Jensen if he truly messed up? And by defending him he put all blame on fans. It is a strange decision in that scenario.

I guess my opinion of Jared is bias and I generally don't understand why people are spending their time to defend that man. And by writting this I am not better than they are. But this situation is so much fun and I just couldn't pass by.

Thank you for creating this blog! ❤️

I definitely had my times of defending the guys like they knew who I was and cared about my defense of them, and when you're that deep into a fandom, it's hard to see the flaws. I remember Jared's PSH comments coming out and I defended that. Him constantly bullying Justin Bieber? Defended it completely. Looking back at that now, I am embarrassed that I did that. I understand that I was younger then and I was a total fangirl so I try to go easy on myself while recognizing that defending those actions weren't something I would do again. I'm a fan of things and geek out over people and things now, but I'm not nearly as bad as I was back then. I am able to see mistakes and flaws and while it sucks to say "Yeah, my fave messed up." it's part of human nature. I'm not saying that you can't be a fan of something or go hard for someone or something, but just be aware that no one is perfect and don't let your love of these things cloud your judgement.

I hate to say it, but a big part of why I stopped watching the show or fell out of love with it was the fans. I didn't agree with some of the writing choices and things on the show, but the fans and the whackjobs within the fandom just made me want to get away from all of it. Then I found the anti blogs and realized that there was a lot more that I had missed or ignored because I was so deep in the fandom.

Jared is incapable of taking responsibility for anything. I'm no psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure he ticks a few boxes for a narcissist, no? At the very least, he's toxic which I know gets thrown around a lot, but if anyone, stans included, had a friend who acted the same way Jared acted, they'd cut them out of their life. But since it's Jared, it's fine. I think the reason Jared's behavior struck such a big cord with me is because I've seen the same behavior in people in my life. At the beginning of the year, I ended a 20+ year friendship because of toxic behaviors and some of the things I criticize Jared for, were things that my friend did. Maybe it's extreme, but if I knew Jared personally, I would try and limit my time around him as much as possible.

Back to my original point though, he can't accept blame and say "I messed up" and learn from things. Him doxxing customer service workers? Not his fault, he wasn't getting treated right! Him assaulting his employees and friend while drunk off of his ass? Not his fault! He must have been drugged! (Don't get me started on his mugshot shirt and him making it all a big joke). Him having a tantrum on Twitter of the prequel? That's Jensen's fault for "gutting" him. Wait, no! It's the fans' fault for reading it wrong! Yeah, that's the new story.

Common thread? Jared not taking blame. He also has a habit of making things out to be silly or a joke when they shouldn't be at all. The assault, prequelgate, he just brushes them off like they were tiny mistakes, not big things that caused a lot of harm. He's a prick and I am comfortable saying that until he proves otherwise.

This got long and I apologize, but thank you for coming to the blog!

#grumpy answers #anti jared padalecki

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sunset-telepath · 3 years

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Why I hate Ro

So, I was asked to explain why I hate Ro. And I’ve been compilating several arguments that I’ve heard and written myself. And I’d like to put a disclaimer here - it’s not because she’s this “sokeefe idol.” It’ just... her character and what she does in support of sokeefe.

Disclaimer: I’m condensing several conversations that I, JaxTheShade, and [Redacted due to them not wanting to be credited] had on the wiki about a month ago. Around 40% of these ideas are mine, 40% are Jax’s, and 20% are [Redacted]’s.

Right off the bat, she’s a misandrist. She quite literally calls boys as stupid as amoeba in Legacy. You can say that that was a joke, but it’s not funny. It’s not okay to blatantly call anyone or generalize any group stupid. It’s not ok. It’s the exact same thing as saying that women belong in the kitchen or that blacks are criminals. It’s not ok. It’s disgusting, despicable, and repugnant behavior.

In the Flashback Short Story, she objectifies Sophie as a prize for Fitz and Keefe to fight over. What the actual f***. That is not acceptable behavior under any circumstances. It’s repugnant, disgusting, detestable, and f****** evil. Treating any person as a prize to fight over is textbook objectification and it is blatantly evil. It is not ok. And it’s disgusting that this narrative has leaked into some of the fanfics that I’ve read. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. IT IS NOT EXCUSABLE. IT IS EVIL.

She flat out bullies Fitz. She alludes to him being a nasty microbe in Legacy. She ridicules his desire to perfect himself. There is nothing wrong with being or trying to be perfect. Don’t push yourself too hard trying to be perfect, but if you should always strive to be better (and if you’re naturally talented like Fitz is, achieve your dreams. Fulfill your potential. Ignore the haters). She mocks and bullies him, calling him names and ridiculing his desire to be perfect. Newsflash: There’s nothing wrong with trying to be perfect. Who the hell is Ro to decide how perfect someone can be? Who the hell does Ro think she is? As a perfectionist myself, I despise Ro and her adversity to perfection. It’s not her place to decide how perfect a person can be. I admire Fitz simply shrugging her off and not letting her flat-out abuse get to him. It’s the proper way to deal with people like her.

Her entire character can be summed up as a chronic-complainer who ships Sokeefe. Shannon basically turned the Instagram Fandom into a character and made it Keefe’s Bodyguard. She never confesses to making mistakes and she’s never humbled or knocked down a peg. 30% of her dialogue can be attributed to complaining about sparkles or “elf-land,” 20% of it can be attributed to her flat-out bulling Fitz, and 50% of it can be attributed to her pushing Sophie and Keefe together. None of the characters like her. The other bodyguards detest her, Bo wants to kill her, Fitz thinks that she’s awful, Sophie is embarrassed by her, and Keefe wants her to shut her mouth.

She’s blunt, she’s rude, and she’s just awful. She interferes with a relationship that is none of her business. She has no regard for the emotional abuse that she inflicts. Ro and Keefe are very similar, and clash often. Ro always wins, however, either because she’s stronger than him or because she can emotionally manipulate him. (These sound like big claims now, but they’re backed up later)

Ro dismisses Sophie by saying that “blondie doesn’t know what she feels.” And it’s disgusting. She’s objectified by “blondie” - a term focused on Sophie’s appearance rather than by her personality. She’s Sophie Elizabeth Foster, not “blondie.” She dismisses Sophie as naïve and disregards her feelings by saying that Sophie’s doesn’t know what Sophie feels.

~The Following Section was directly quoted from JaxTheShade because he summarized it so well~

Well...no, Ro. She does have an idea of what she feels. In fact, she was ecstatic and perfectly fine with dating and eventually sorting out her issues with Fitz until you started "hinting" about Keefe. Sophie does understand her feelings - and those feelings led her to Fitz. And even if she does have some underlying issue about who she likes (which has admittedly been hinted at), it's up to her to figure it out. Not a brash ogre bodyguard who scoffs at the notion of the Elvin culture and thinks she has a right to intrude in a teenage relationship she isn't apart of.

And Fitz...well, I'm sure Ro doesn't hate him. But she's pretty close to--that's not hard to deduce. Because Ro has ever bothered to pay attention to and sympathize with Keefe ( and yet she still finds a way to neglect his feelings ), she hasn't the slightest inclination of who Fitz is. So, like most people, she decides to consider him "the opposing candidate" in the love triangle and never look past the surface of Fitz, just calling him "Captain Perfect" and thinking that he could never be right for Sophie because he's competing against Keefe.

Sometimes I wish someone, anyone, would call Ro out for amount of sheer insults she layers on Fitz, whether he's there or not. Although most of the time it's done behind his back--what a surprise.

I mean, look at this:

She slyly calls him a 'nasty microbe'. And while some have argued that she wasn't calling Fitz this, she was very clearly expressing her disdain for Sophie's favourite colour being teal--and, by proxy, calls teal things 'nasty'.

“[...] But I thought it was only right to save your imp from being sparkle-fied—and I was going to be nice and turn him your favorite color. But apparently your favorite color is teal—and yeah, yeah, we all know why. But, um, do you realize how many of the nastiest little microbes are that color?” She shuddered. “I couldn’t do that to you—or the little dude. [...]”

Ro also calls him "Captain Perfectpants" and openly admits that Fitz would have problems with all the time Sophie is spending with Keefe. Essentially admitted but disregarding how upset Fitz would be--because who cares about Fitz's feelings when Keefe is having emotional turmoil? And as a little bonus, she also pulls her classic, "I can't take this anymore! I simply have to intervene in this situation of which I'm not apart of!

"Ro snorted. “Of course he would! He’d be super, super jealous!”

“Don’t,” Keefe told her.

“No—I can’t take it anymore!” Ro stalked toward Sophie and tapped her on the nose with a calloused fingertip. “I repeat: Yes, your Captain Perfectpants would be jealous! He scraped together the courage to get all share-y about his feelings, and now you’re ignoring him, and being all mysterious about why, and telling everyone who asks that you’re not dating him. And I’m not saying that’s a bad call. Trust your instincts! Hopefully they’ll lead you out of the oblivion. But in the meantime, count on your teal-eyed Wonderboy feeling a little insecure, particularly if he finds out you’re spending lots of quality time with other dudes. And you know what? That’s good for him. We all know that boy could use a little help in the humility department. So make him sweat a little. And you”—she spun back toward Keefe—“need to stop being so afraid.”

And those are just two instances, of which I can search for plenty more.

Ro is not a good person. She's a rebellious princess who ultimately works for her own gain. She thinks she's got it all figured out with Keefe, and decides that, since he shared his story of liking Sophie, she'll take it upon herself to get them together no matter what.

And I mean 'no matter what'. She has put down Sophie for liking Fitz, interrupted conversations so she can drop hints about Keefe's feelings against his will, and made fun of Sophie for being oblivious--even going to the extent of getting fed up with and blaming Sophie for her oblivion "becoming less and less cute".

She's also tried to actively break up Sophitz and push together Sophie and Keefe. She's insulted Fitz and holds a very hostile disposition towards him simply because he's "perfect boy" who's against the Saint Also Known As Keefe. Ro tries to subtly force Sophie's feelings for Fitz out of her while dropping in some "isn't Hunkyhair so great?". I wouldn't for a second put it past her to succeed in shutting down as many Sophitz moments as possible all so she can continue to ignore the pleas to stop and the embarrassed faces surrounding her.

And her excuse?

"It's the only fun she gets to have here in Elf Land".

She isn't apart of this relationship. She isn't affected by this relationship. She's only seen one side of this relationship, and uses that to base her opinions of the other two. Which is a terrible idea considering that leads to opinions like "Okay, well that other boy is awful because he's the competitor, and that girl must like the boy because the boy likes her, and sometimes she acts shy around him, and that's totally how relationships work".

Ro has absolutely no excuse for the amount of hurt she's inflicted on all three of these teenagers.

And yet she's regarded as a saint amongst all, while people like...say, Alden ( who made mistakes, but ultimately went about it in a calmer, gentler, and more well meaning way--as well as having much more justification and reasoning behind his actions ) are seen as evil and deserving of death. So what's the difference? Is it just because Ro is all for Sokeefe and Alden is really pushing for Sophitz? Have we really sunk low enough to the point where we can adore one character and hate another--despite performing the same actions--simply because of shipping preferences?

Everyone has decided to hate Alden because he showed up to speak with Keefe, ended up getting sidetracked and talking about relationships ( because of Ro, go figure ), sympathized with Keefe and shared meaningful advice from personal identical experiences, and then making sure Keefe knew that he considered him apart of the family.

That was what Alden did. And we have absolutely no reason to believe that Alden was anything but genuine when he stated that he "long considered him part of the family".

And yet Ro is the one who starts ranting about how "he didn't mean it" ( and saying something like that to a teenage boy who never felt loved by his father means a lot--but Ro has to ruin it and say that Alden's words were "a stinking load of garbage" ). Ro is the one whose objectification of the triangle by saying that Keefe being there for his friends is "sabotage" is what sparks Keefe to tell her that Sophie's feelings do matter. Ro is the one who interrupts every conversation by either stating her obnoxious opinion that nobody asked for, or calling a time out so she can bash on Fitz again. Ro is the one who has spent every waking moment since she arrived in the series either making Keefe's desire to be happy for his friends feel invalid, insulting Sophie because she's her own person with her own feelings for someone else, and coming up with every insult under the sun to throw at Fitz. Ro is the one who has no justification for her actions, seeing as she a) is not apart of this triangle, and b) has minimal relationship experience considering both her boyfriends hate her, and one was an arranged marriage.

But...Ro is also the loved and appreciated one.” - JaxTheShade (I’ve been paraphrasing some of the things that he’s said all ready, but I’m directly quoting him for this. His statement is direct and gets to the point)

~End of direct Quote~

I'd like to make one thing clear though - the point of selfishness. There's a stigma to the word that I'd like to clear up, because there are two types of selfishness, rational self-interest, and sacrificing others for yourself.

Fitz is the first type - he has a rational self-interest, he's looking out for himself and his own long-term happiness first. There is nothing wrong with that, if you won't look out for yourself, who will? It's why I completely supported Fitz yelling and breaking up with Sophie - if a relationship is making you unhappy long-term, it is in your best interest to break up with them. It's why Fitz was so adamant about finding Sophie's biological parents, he wanted to avoid future stigma, gossiping, and heckling. Fitz knows how horrible these things are to experience, and so sought to avoid them in the future. This is why Fitz is my favorite character - the others are reactive, Fitz seems to be the only proactive one. (One of the few characters in any literature to be proactive, in fact). While Sophie and the others look at the now and the immediate future, Fitz is concerned with the long-term future, a trait I share with him and one that I rarely see in literature whatsoever, to my vast disappointment.

Ro isn't selfish at all. She's much, much worse - she doesn't meddle in other's affairs for her own happiness, she just does because she can. She has no respect for other's privacy, and throws out insults towards Fitz and Sophie because she just does. She has no motive, impetus, or drive, she just does, and it sickens me.

The second type of selfishness is similar to a bully bullying others because they're miserable and it makes them feel good about themselves. It's horrible and malicious, and I'm not condoning it in any way, but its far more innocent (if bullying can be called innocent) then what Ro does.

Ro is malevolent, she doesn't do it because it makes her feel good, she just does it, with no regard with the relationships and lives she destroys in the process. She's a toxic radioactive waste dump of a person. A toxic waste dump doesn't make people sick and die for their own gain - it just does. That's how Ro is as a person.

Another reason is that she has no regard for what she says or does. She constantly tears Fitz down just because she can (I want Alden to be there next time she tries that. I want Alden to step in and tell her that what she is doing is not okay, because no other character has recognized this so far). I want Alden to be there next time she calls his son a nasty little microbe. I'd like to finally see Ro get some comeuppance for her terrible behavior.

Let's be honest with ourselves - Ro hates Fitz. She hates and complains and whines about how perfect he is. Since when has perfection been a crime? Since when is it up to her to decide the maximum amount of talent a person can have? As a perfectionist myself, I strive for perfection just as Fitz does. There is nothing wrong with striving to perfect yourself - there is if you are actively hurting yourself, but if you're naturally gifted like Fitz is, and you want to be the best you can possibly be, go ahead! Make the most of your innate talent and use it to seek your happiest future. Build & write your own happy ending.

She isn't a part of this relationship. She isn't affected by this relationship. She's actively impeding their ability to seek their own happiness, and not even for her own happiness (which is still horrid), she just does because she's "bored". Her repugnant behavior sickens me.

Ro is a textbook abuser. Let's go over a list of things an abuser does, and see to which characters she applies them to:

Name-Calling: The abuser will blatantly call the abused derogatory adjectives, like stupid or oblivious

We know she does this to Sophie, calling her oblivious. She also twists being perfect into a derogatory adjective, throwing it at Fitz. She also called Fitz a horrible little microbe, along with calling him & Keefe as stupid as amoeba.

Character Assassination: The abuser will use the word "always". You're always oblivious, stupid, late, wrong, etc.

She does this to Sophie, and also somewhat Fitz.

Patronizing: The abuser will be patronizing towards the abused

She does this to Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe.

Belittling: The abuser will belittle the abused

I'm pretty sure she does this to Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe.

Pushing Buttons: Once the abuser finds out what annoys the abused, they will do it nonstop.

Oh boy, does she do this to Keefe and Sophie. (Fitz just gets out of his way to ignore her and avoid her. It's why she's irritated by him, he hasn't opened himself to her and doesn't show flaws allowing her to find ways to sink her nasty manipulating fingers into him)

These are only a few signs of someone being an abuser, and yet Ro manages to hit pretty much all of them.

She gaslights Keefe into believing that Alden is only looking out for himself and his children - something we know to be completely wrong. She's driving a wedge between Keefe and Alden, one of the few other people Keefe respects and thinks looks out for him. The only other parental individual in Keefe's life, in fact, giving Ro total access to Keefe's psyche and making herself the only "true" source of information Keefe can trust. She is a horrible, horrible abuser.

Ro doesn't have benign intentions at heart. She doesn't even have selfish intentions at heart. She just meddles just because she can.

Ro isn’t selfish. She’s just a bad person - for a lack of a better term that would describe her repulsive behavior.

She constantly complains about the elves. Yes, elven culture is a little weird, but you don’t have to complain about it constantly and in-front of the elves.

Ro is also clearly not afraid to gaslight. She forces Keefe to believe that her opinions are the only valid ones. How does she do this? She says that "Blondie doesn't know what she feels," making Keefe think that any emotions he picks up from her are wrong. She says that Fitz is just "Captain Perfect" who doesn't really care about Sophie - that Keefe "deserves" her. She says that Alden's advice is just made up, and that he doesn't really care about him. She’s established herself as the only source of information that Keefe can trust. She’s removed Alden (the one other parental figure Keefe had) and established herself as the only person Keefe can trust. And that is very dangerous and highly abusive.

She even invalidates Keefe's emotions. Every time Keefe stands up to her and says something like "I'm just being a good friend," Ro responds (like any of this is her business) with something snarky. Or, she tells him to "stop being so afraid." And that forces Keefe to believe that his desire to help his friends isn't valid enough. That he isn't valid enough. So he comes crawling back to Ro.

She’s a terrible bodyguard. She threatens to not protect Keefe in Legacy if Sophie doesn’t share her secret with her. THAT IS NOT OK UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. SOPHIE DID NOT TRUST KEEFE WITH HER SECRET OF BEING UNMATCHABLE. RO EXTORTED IT OUT OF HER, USING KEEFE AS A LIE DETECTOR. THAT IS NOT OK; IT IS EVIL.

If you re-read the portion in Legacy where she does this, it reveals some truly horrible behavior.

Here’s another direct quote from JaxTheShade explaining why this part is so disgusting:

“Essentially, Ro is blackmailing Sophie.

Sophie just found out that if Keefe goes anywhere near the Neverseen, he will probably die. ( Because at this point, they just thought the legacy thing would kill him ). So she's desperately trying to get Keefe to make a promise and stay away from Gisela. Keefe, in typical fashion, adamantly states that he's not going to be locked up.

This is where Ro steps in.

She says that she will be the one to protect him and make sure he doesn't run off. ( Since she is his bodyguard ). But instead of just...doing her job...she decides that she can exploit the situation. She can get something out of this.

She figured out that Sophie is hiding something. And from the way she hasn't told anyone yet, Ro can assume that she's trying to keep it a secret. But she also knows that Keefe's safety is important to all of them.

So she threatens Keefe's life--yes, threatens--unless Sophie spills her secret. The situation becomes, "I have all the power here, so unless you tell me a confidential secret, I'll let my charge run off into danger, which you can't have. So I know that I've put you into a corner. I know that I've won here."

If this doesn't scream "manipulative abuser", then I don't know what does.

It's disgusting, really. Ro's behaviour is despicable.

And while her blatant blackmail is clearly the worst offense, she also sprinkled in several other "I'm a bad person" actions.

1) She said that the reason Keefe gets away with things is because she "doesn't care enough to fight him" on them. Well, if you don't care, then why don't you just go back to Ravagog? Because Keefe is the second most threatened person their group, and he needs an actual bodyguard, not a manipulative princess who makes him feel even worse about himself. If Keefe gets hurt when he runs off, did he get hurt because you "didn't care enough to bother"?

2) Ro says that she doesn't care that much about him. Well, thanks, Ro. I'm sure that really makes Keefe sleep soundly at night, knowing that you don't really care about him.

3) And why does she not really care about him? Because she only bothers with Keefe as long as he doesn't make her "look bad". She says that the reason she's stopping him this time is because it'll damage her reputation if he dies. You know, instead of being worried about his life.

4) She says "I enjoy meddling". And that's her excuse for blackmailing Sophie into spilling a confidential secret. And yet she has the audacity to accuse Alden of "meddling" while here she sits, admitting it to everyone and acting like it's not a big deal.

5) Her very last line in the quote just further proves that she's just doing this to get Sokeefe to happen. Instead of feeling remorse for Sophie, who is trying not to look at them and clearly uncomfortable, she just brushes off the secret that she just forced out of her by saying that "it should do the trick". The trick being 'getting Fitz to break up with her'.

This is probably Ro's most egregious act yet.

And yet nobody ever seems to call her out for it or even think that...it's a little weird that she would do this.

But I guess it really isn't weird at all, seeing as we've have evidence in the past that proves she would stoop to this level.” - JaxTheShade

That part in Unlocked where Shannon said that (deeeeeeeeeeeep down) Ro cares about Keefe? Well, it’s ooc. Look what Ro says in Legacy: "I may not care that much about what happens to you, but if you get yourself killed on my watch, it makes me look bad—especially if I had advance notice. So, I can’t have that."

Re-read that portion in Legacy. Alarm bells should be going off in your head.

She reminds me of the villain Ellsworth Monkton Toohey from The Fountainhead. Do you know what he did? He turned people into slaves by establishing psychological power over them and making them miserable. By killing their wants, needs, desires, and happiness, he turned people into miserable slaves who would obey his every order. And the scary part? Ro uses the exact. same. tactics. that he does (not going to list them here, that would take far too long) on Fitz, Sophie, and Keefe. And Keefe almost perfectly resembles the characters who fall for his manipulations and tactics, while Sophie and Fitz resemble the characters who ignored him and went about their business. It’s really unnerving.

Everyone is entitled to seek their own happiness - as long as their actions don't impede others from seeking their own happiness.

Ro actively impedes Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe's pursuit of their own happiness, doing it for no other reason than the fact that she's bored. It sickens me.

And the fact that Fitz is basically demonized and hated by the fandom while praising Ro is what sickens me the most.

Ro manipulates, gaslights, and abuses Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz for her own fun. She doesn't have any long term goal, just destroying their psyche and impeding their ability to find their own happiness for short term amusement. She mocks Fitz for being trying to be perfect (since when has that been a crime?), she gaslights and Objectifies Sophie, mocks Keefe and openly abuses him, and interferes with their relationships because she finds it funny. She's also a misandrist. She calls Fitz a nasty little microbe (I want Alden and Della there next time she does that). She objectifies Sophie as a trophy for Fitz and Sophie to fight over. She constantly tears down Fitz and Sophie, and uses a number of tactics abusers use in real life on Fitz, Sophie, and Keefe. She is a radioactive toxic waste-dump of a person, ruining their lives and psyches not even for her own gain, but just for her own amusement. Her further abuse of Keefe is repugnant, her objectification of Sophie is disgusting, and her mocking and bullying of Fitz makes me want to puke. She's a terrible, terrible person.

And that is why I hate Ro.

#kotlc #kotlc ro #ugh I hate Ro #Ro Hate #kotlc discourse

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beyondstupidityblog · 3 years

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On March 13th 2021, two friends and I did what never could have imagined possible, I watched Freddy Got Fingered for the ninth time, and it will by no means be the last. I’m explaining this to you, dear reader, so you and I have an important understanding between us. You will be reading the ramblings of one whose brain has curdled like milk left out in the hot afternoon sun. Now that introductions are out of the way, let us begin.

Freddy Got Fingered is a 2001 Comedy starring and directed by Tom Green as the Non-Titular Gordon Brody; an aspiring animator who goes to California to realize his dream, only to be constantly crushed under the weight of his father’s expectations. Sounds tame at first, but what lies beneath the veneer of mediocrity is truly impressive. Completely bombed, audiences hated it, and critics loathed it. Roger Ebert got angry, saying “it isn’t even below the bottom of the barrel” and “Green should be flipping burgers somewhere.”. “Tasteless”, “appalling”, “offensive”, “gross”, and “poo poo,” are just some of the things people have had to say about this film. Animal genitalia can be seen on screen for much longer than anyone could have expected, Tom Green swinging a baby akin to a morning-star with its umbilical cord, said umbilical cord being stolen and taped onto his stomach, gratuitous caning of a nymphomaniac paraplegic, and the dissection of a deer carcass. It is an abrasive experience that leaves a terrible taste in the mouths of those who mention it. Nonetheless, I love this movie.

You ever see a contemporary art exhibit that has a piece that just looks like garbage somebody left out but in actuality is a tongue-and-cheek allusion to the pitiful state of modern art? That garbage is Freddy Got Fingered, and that exhibit is Hollywood. At face value it just seems like a poorly done film by a comedian trying to use his name to get a few butts in the seats before his irrelevancy arrives, but when scrutinized as a commentary of comedy films do the pieces start to fall into place. Tropes like the Protagonist being an unremarkable honkey, gross-out designed to get some cheap quick chuckles, side-characters who occupy the space solely for comedic relief, a shoe-horned romantic side-plot, and an equally as shoehorned in happy ending are all present in a mocking fashion. So many of these Hollywood schlockfests that this movie is paying homage to abuse tropes in some vain attempt to trick the audience into thinking they’re having a good time, when in reality it just reminds viewers of films that they’ve already watched before and could be enjoying instead. All of the awkward and uncomfortable scenes of gross-out and romance are purposeful, because nothing is quite as awkward and uncomfortable than a film disengaging the audience with its own mediocrity. “This is what it’s like to endure this trash!” Drunkenly screams Freddy Got Fingered atop the tallest piece of furniture in the room, while also exposing its genitals to keep you from getting too comfortable around it. Unlike the films it is parodying, its obsession with making a fool out of audiences rips them away from the comfort of the cinema, making them genuinely ask if it is worth wasting their time watching a film called Freddy Got Fingered. Even the title is an intentional slight, as it seems to be completely untethered to the actual plotline and is instead a reference to a seemingly inconsequential scene. But then again, that is the point of it all. Tom Green is an artist, and on his canvas is a portrait of Hollywood with all of the ugly little imperfections that cause a movie like this to be created. But this is just the meta-narrative of Freddy Got Fingered, something that you could find all over the internet. Why do I resonate with it so much, and what about it makes it so exceptional that led to this unhealthy fascination?

Every instance that I’ve rewatched Freddy Got Fingered has always brought about a new side to it, and in the process leaves me craving for more. Gord is an interesting take on the average leading man. He is on the surface bland and inoffensive, made so in order to allow the majority of the audience to immediately identify with him, said group being 20-something skater guys with unrealistic expectations of themselves. Made especially ironic when after the introduction of Gord as an adept skateboarding rebel escaping from authority, he starts to show that in reality he is an unlikeable, bratty, entitled, and all around unpleasant person. Barely a scene passes before we see him masturbate a horse while exclaiming he is a farmer to his father who is not present, seemingly a crude gag but is in reality an insight into his low self worth caused by his imposter syndrome stemming from distant paternal relationship. I would like to remind you, dear reader, that I am still writing of Freddy Got Fingered, in case you were beginning to think I have lost my mind (The answer is yes by the way). All throughout the film Gordon Brody puts on masks for different situations, never allowing himself to be who he is. When infiltrating the Animation studio where he wishes to pitch his cartoons, he pretends to be a mailman to get past reception and then impersonates a police officer when the former stops being effective. Donning the visage of a British Bobby, he dashes into the restaurant where the man he is searching for, Mr. Wallace, is eating. Showing him his cartoons, Wallace is impressed with the potential they have, but says that they are incoherent and lack real substance. Upon rejection, Gord puts a pistol in his mouth before Wallace stops him and advises what he should do to improve. Gord was genuinely ready to blow his brains out the back of his skull if he wasn’t able to get his show greenlit, and it hit me in that moment that he isn’t just some random jackass, but a victim of detrimentally low self-esteem.

The origins of his complex are made apparent when he goes back home to Oregon and are reintroduced to his Family. We see that his father Jim, played by Rip Torn, is disappointed in his return and begins to sneer at him for his failure. This father and son dynamic always has tension in every scene from this point onwards. Gord, who just wants to be accepted for who he is and not judged by what the world expects him to be, is always at the receiving end of Jim’s wrath, who values his idea of a successful life over the happiness of his sons. From here it becomes little wonder why Gord is the way he is, all his life he was told that who he was is not good enough, he has to be what his father wants if he is to be considered worthy of not only love, but being treated with a modicum of dignity. Whenever Gord acts eccentric or divulges his interests to his father, they are met with either resentment supplemented by verbal assault, or physical violence. After a late-night skateboard outing to escape from his father’s wrath goes awry, he visits his convalescing friend in the hospital, whereupon he meets one of the more interesting characters in relation to Gord, the love interest Betty.

A horny wheelchair bound temptress may not seem like it upon first glance, but Betty is actually the most interesting character out of the entire cast. She feels genuine, introduced as a bored receptionist flipping a coffee creamer idly. Gord immediately strikes up a conversation, whereupon he and the audience find out she has an interest in physics, and apparently an interest in him as well. Betty is strangely well written for what most considered at the time to be a crass sexual joke, so much so that she would actually be a better protagonist than him. She is everything Gord is not, she’s smart, funny, ambitious, and kind to a fault. Even her side plot to create a rocket powered wheelchair makes for a much more unique plot than the one given. Even Gord reciprocates this sentiment in their meeting, lying that he is a stockbroker in an attempt to impress her. In fact, sectioning her off as just the dull protagonist's love interest is a jab at how women in these movies are only there to serve in the development for the male protagonist, just nothing more than their muse. Nonetheless, without this relationship the movie would lose a lot of its soul. Romantic chemistry in comedy films is always hit or miss, but Gord and Betty do seem to have it surprisingly. They’re both silly and impulsive, creatively driven to a fault, but just different enough to eek out the best and worst in them. Gord thinks that what he wants to do with his life is wasteful, but Betty doesn’t. Now I don’t mean that she directly affirms that he is worthwhile like most poorly written love interests would, stroking their lover’s(and by extension the director’s) ego, rather she confronts him with her optimism. He asks if she would feel stupid and like a loser if her experiment failed. Taken aback at first, she questions why she would, relaying that her failures are just as important as her successes. Gord’s self-worth is directly tied to his ability to succeed, whereas Betty doesn’t need this affirmation. Their dialogue further cements how detrimental his father’s overbearingness was to his outlook, and how he is slowly beginning to realize how destructive that mindset is.

At their dinner date, Jim sees Gord and Betty across the restaurant, then reveals that Gord was lying to both him and her about his office job while poking fun at her disability, leading to a father-son scuffle that throws the entire floor into utter chaos. Cops show up, Gord and Jim are detained, and Betty bails Gord out. Most mediocre comedies at this point would have the love interest be upset that her significant other lied to her, leading to him having to make things right to repair their relationship before the happy ending. Breaking the mold, Betty does not get angry with Gord even a smidgen, choosing to be understanding of his situation now that she caught a glimpse into his home-life. She just plain likes Gord, willing to put up with him more than she really should, but still chooses to look past his lies and self-destructive nature for who he truly is, someone who just wants to be accepted by the world around him. Someone just like her.

Right after that enaction of social terrorism performed by the Brody father and son duo, they decide it would be best to go to family therapy and assail the audience with what I fondly refer to it as, “The Scene.” “The Scene” is Freddy Got Fingered’s statement to the world, it is what instills a man with the impetus to rewatch a glorified stoner daydream for the ninth time and leave him wanting more! Gord accuses his father, in a final act of defiance, of molesting his younger brother Freddy. During the ensuing confusion Gord picks up a bust of Sigmund Freud and throws it into the glass window pane, allowing him to escape into the evening sun. The authorities take Freddy away and send him to The Home for Molested Children, and the family slowly unravels from then on. Besides the heavy handed metaphor of Freud’s theories being used as a way for Gord to escape his predicament while simultaneously discrediting them, “The Scene” also recontextualizes Freddy, innocuous of a character as he is, as Gord’s foil. He is in the movie very little but when he is it is to serve one of two purposes: To be compared to Gord, or to be treated as an object. During breakfast much earlier in the film after a fight between Gord and Jim, Freddy tries to explain to his brother that he should grow up. Gord, surprisingly, talks down to him and halts the conversation.

Gord: “He's driving me insane.”

Freddy: “No. No, you're driving him insane. You're older than me and you still live at home. I have a job, you know. I pay my own way.”

Gord: “You work in a bank. Should I be dazzled?”

Freddy: “Well, at least I don't live at home!”

Gord: “No, you live in a tiny shithole and you come here to eat for free.”

With these lines it is plain to see that despite Freddy’s idea of success directly lining up with his father’s, he is even more pitiful than Gord. What little we know of him is to show that his acquiescence to his father’s expectations has left him bereft of not only genuine personal success, but of dignity itself. When child protective services come to take him away, he is half naked, mouth agape, watching open heart surgery on television, a palpable indication of emptiness. He isn’t treated as an adult either, as his protests to the police fall on deaf ears as both them and the psychologist infantilize him. Why would Tom Green name this movie after a character like Freddy, whose lack of presence and characterization make him little more than an afterthought when looking back on the story? Or did I just answer my own question? Freddy is not a character because he is not allowed to be one, he is just too passive and accepting of his circumstances for him to stand out. All he can be is a doll that Jim uses to dress up as the perfect son, and this passiveness leads to Gord, the “failure,” to both pity and resent what he let himself become. That’s why Gord accuses their father of molesting him, after all he does narratively violate Freddy’s autonomy by consistently making decisions for him. Evidently enough, as soon as Gord dons a suit for a quick bit Jim is elated because he believes that his son finally gave in to his demands for him to get a job, because he is acting more like his obedient brother. In this sense Freddy is the most tragic member of the Brody clan, a literal manchild whose growth was stunted by overbearing guardians. When I think of him, a bonsai tree comes to mind. Sure, it looks healthy, but when you realize that it could have grown into a much bigger plant if it were not for its small pot, that realization of wasted potential comes with a tinge of melancholy.

I want to end this essay with a moral that I took away from Freddy Got Fingered, as strange enough as that sounds, and what it has to say about art as a whole. Put simply, this is a story about revenge. Despite and because of his Father’s harsh ways, Gord managed to take from the trauma he sustained throughout his life and sublimated it into his animation. Creation not only lets him heal, but also acts as retaliation against Jim once he becomes successful. So long as you have the drive to prove everyone’s doubts and admonishments wrong by persevering out of wicked spite, you will have the last laugh. Freddy Got Fingered is a story about revenge through artistic expression, and I think that is quite beautiful.

#freddy got fingered #tom green #movies #essay paper #comedy

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afreakingdork · 3 years

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Review: March Comes In like a Lion (Seasons 1 and 2)

What a wild ride this has been. It’s funny seeing the posters side by side because they really illustrate how I feel about seasons 1 and 2 of this series. To me, season 1 felt disjointed and season 2 just made me feel so good and light even while it was dunking me straight into emotional turmoil. The thing is, one cannot exist without the other and I’ll tell you why:

I struggled at first to even finish season 1. I started once many years ago (I’m not even sure when) and gave up after about 2 episodes because I just couldn’t get my self synched with what was happening. When I started again a few months ago, I felt like every episode was a slog. I wasn’t sure why I even kept watching, honestly. The aesthetics were beautiful and haunting. The imagery reminded me of both Hyouka and Flowers of Evil. I could tell Rei was going through some really dark emotions, but I also wasn’t sure what was going on. There would be flashes and abrupt shifts away from the topic. It seemed to capture the sensations of depression really well, but also not in a way that translated to also telling a story to which, I think, it also had a duty to do. It seemed like Kyouka had sexually abused Rei at some point based on the flashes of her character straddling him and even after finishing both seasons, I’m not sure if that was the case. The dark and brooding artistically-charged emotional overtures of Rei are then just super-cut with intensely fluffy slice of life-esque sequences that gave me emotional whiplash. The show goes from Rei self-isolating to Nikaidou teaching the two younger Kawamoto sisters how to play shoji with animated cats. I remember trying to recall this information to my partner and not being able to explain it adequately because I just hadn’t even had enough heart in the series to learn the characters’ names. I felt bad, but I didn’t know what else to do. The show was fine, entertaining enough, but I just felt lackluster about what was happening. I applaud that they actually used the word depression when discussing Rei’s dark periods. I don’t know much, but I do know that mental health is extremely stigmatized in Japan and it was refreshing to hear it just laid out. However, I can honestly say that Shimada is what turned the show around for me. His introduction and the charisma of a beaten down exhausted pro just really resonated with me. By the time they were doing the train sequence in that final episode of season 1, I felt like everything was just too open ended and I had to go on because I had finally remembered Rei’s name.

Everything turned around as I started to watch season 2. They pretty much immediately dove into a bullying arc with Hina and the whole series turned around for me. I was absolutely invested in everything that was happening and it was so heart wrenching and realistically portrayed. I found myself unable to pull away as Hina led the episodes and explained how her classroom dove into a dark black swirling pool of hateful energy. Suddenly, the artistic sequences now seemed succinct. Each portrayal of an emotion made my heart tighten and I could perfectly see how each character saw what was happening around them. It felt too good to be true. Even when a brand new character took over, I’m talking about Yamazaki in "Silver Wings," I had a moment where I was like, ‘What do I care about this guy? Why are we interrupting the narrative for him?’ By the end of his chapter, I was ashamed I ever felt that way. For once the narrative was larger than Rei and, while we knew Yamazaki through the lens of Rei, we didn’t know Yamazaki’s feelings during his match with Nikaidou. This is where I say that the doldrums of season 1 are absolutely necessary to get to the greatness of season 2. Rei was closed in season 1, he had met the Kawamoto family, but he was still deeply in the thralls of his depression. This is represented by what we see. Everything is disjointed because that’s how Rei feels. The Kawamoto family is disrupting his otherwise miserable mindset with their warm feelings. He actually says something along those lines and how he is afraid that if he stays in that warm house for too long, that he doesn’t feel like he will ever be able to leave. The episodes that focus on anything outside of Rei’s perspective are basically non-existent in that first season because Rei can’t see anything outside of himself. By the end of season 1, everyone has wedged a crowbar in the closed door of Rei’s heart and is craning it open by season 2. We get to see all these other people and perspectives because narratively, Rei has taken the blinders off and is not oblivious to the world around him. In a grand storytelling sense, this must have been the author’s intention. It’s almost a travesty to break this show up into seasons because the narrative is on such a grand scale, you can’t even begin to fathom the scope until you are at least 30 episodes deep. It’s downright genius storytelling and I will forever be grateful that I never stopped watching so that I could get to the point where I am now. I’m absolutely going to read the manga so I can see this story through to it’s true end.

Verdict:

P.S. I didn’t want to interrupt my grand explanation, but I think it’s so incredible how the timeline is also realistically portrayed. Take Chiho, for example, she was bullied so violently that she had to be committed. Several months down the line, she hasn’t recovered from this trauma. Even seeing her close friend who never bullied her, Hina, can only be done in a short spurt because emotionally she is still healing and will be for an unforeseen amount of time. I just can’t applaud this realistic representation of mental health enough. It’s treated with such delicacy.

P.S.S. Why is everyone so mean to Shimada!? He’s so sweet and he’s working so hard. All the outreach he does for the elderly community back in his home town and even just for the shoji community is mind boggling on top of the severe and debilitating gastritis that he has. I remember thinking when he was going up against Yanagihara, that even though I liked Yanagihara, I’d just invested too much of my heart into Shimada to be able to root for anyone else. This show loves proving me wrong because I was completely swayed to Yanagihara and literally pushed back a deadline so that I could watch the finale of their match. I’m so glad he’s the eternal Kishou, I’m sorry Shimada!!!

P.S.S.S. The revelation that Souya is partially deaf was so stunning to me that I actually had to stop watching and take a walk. It is incredibly genius. I never saw it coming a million miles away. The comparison to when you’re a prodigy at something that people are able to look the other way when it comes to idiosyncrasies is mind boggling. I was right there with Rei as I watched Souya come down from being a shoji deity to being a regular person and it was such a delight to watch my perspective change along with the characters. It’s an incredible hand that crafts a story that can sway a reader so accurately.

P.S.S.S.S.

IT WAS CALLED MARCH TOWN THE WHOLE TIME!? I shit you not, I had just told my partner around episode 20 of season 2 that while the show had skyrocketed in quality, I couldn’t figure out why the hell ‘March’ comes in like a lion! I’m so mad at the reveal.

#march comes in like a lion #anime #me #anime review #review

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theartoflivingalways · 4 years

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i’ve been awake for over 24 hours

I haven’t been on tumblr in years. i stopped using it after high school, but I don’t know why. but now I’m back tonight, because I needed someone to talk to, but I have no one to listen. i have friends, i have family, i have a boyfriend. i have a therapist. but no matter what: i feel so unheard, so unseen, and so ignored by everyone in my life that i literally feel like i have no one to truly turn to. for anything. so, here i am. hope i get a warm welcome!!!

here’s the thing: i’m NOT a depressed person. i’m not sad, i don’t have any major mental health issues apart from anxiety and some adhd. and before you take that the wrong way, please don’t. i just got my master’s degree in social work and i’ll be starting my new job as a therapist in a couple of weeks.

but, i’m also NOT a happy person. tbh, i can’t really describe my overall ~mood~ or whatever you wanna call it. i kinda just wake up and survive the day, every day. i take it one day at a time ... kinda like what AA says to do; but no, before you ask or the thought crosses your mind, i’m not an addict. at least not a alcohol/other drugs addict ??? sorry

maybe this is why there’s no one to listen when i need them to. i fucking ramble about literally nothing before getting to the point.

it’s weird that i’m writing right now (ok, typing???). i haven’t done this since i was little. it feels good to do this, to have some sort of outlet when you feel so fucking unseen and unheard by every. single. person. around you.

so i haven’t slept in over 24 hours. it’s my own fault for sure and i have adderall to thank for that (yes i’m prescribed). i decided to start a blog again because i’m sitting here, still wide awake in my apartment, alone, while my boyfriend is sound asleep in my bedroom.

so what’s my fucking problem??? why do i want someone to talk to?? i don’t know honestly. i just feel like lately all i do is listen to others, help others, give myself completely to others. and in return, i get nothing. nothing even close to what i give, or to what i’m capable of giving. which is sad. not for me particularly (maybe?), but for others, yes, i think so.

i’m not saying that i expect anything in return for helping others, because i don’t. i didn’t enter the field of social work for the fucking money. and i know a lot of fucked up shit is going on in the world right now, and in no way do i want to minimize ANY of that. i’m just feeling a little lost and lonely, so i’m hoping this is a new outlet for me to sort out those feelings.

the last couple of hours, i’ve had a LONG string of thoughts. if you read through, you’ll eventually found out how they started. but one of the things i’ve been wrestling with in my mind is the type of person i am.

you see, it’s difficult to be “that” person for others your whole life, especially all the fucking time. if you’re anything like me, you know what i mean by that. and if you aren’t anything like me, well, first of all congrats!!!!, and secondly, i’ll explain what i mean.

when you’re “that” person for others, like myself, it’s easy for other people to walk all over you. take advantage of you, take you for granted, expect you to ALWAYS be there no matter the cost. and of course, why wouldn’t they? you’re always there to help. you’re ALWAYS there to offer support, guidance, and advice. you’re nurturing. you listen. you’re a fucking irreplaceable, loyal to death friend. if you’re VERY much like me, you’re also the one person in your family who isn’t a total fuck up (at least not publicly?)

you’re also nonjudgmental, and you were blessed with the curse of being empathic towards others at all times. empathy of course is beautiful and a very good thing to have in this life, but do you know how hard it is to feel for every single person around you.. and not have anyone feel for you???? damn

also, you never let anyone down!! ever. you’re reliable, dependable, trustworthy to the point where it’s almost sketchy because like??? who can be that way to everyone else at all times? you guessed it- people like me and people like u!! (if this is even semi-relatable, i’m sorry)

but people like us, like you, like me, tend to do this thing where we keep the same shitty fucking toxic people around that have hurt us, continue to hurt us both indirectly and directly, and who have let us down time and time again, because we continue clinging on to the fucking useless hope that “someday they’ll change”. someday, they’ll realize how fucking important you are to them and how shitty their lives are, and would be, without you in it.

you- we - also live by honesty and truthfulness, and assume others just live by this as well. but then you’re proved wrong over and over and over again, yet you never fucking learn your lesson because you are STILL hopeful that somewhere, somehow, deep down, other people DO stand by the morals you try so hard to stand by in life. most of the time, though, you’re completely avoiding the reality of other people and their experiences and who they really are, only to try to fit your own narrative of how you see things and how you think things should be.

if this sounds anything like you... i’m sorry. i know it all too well.

i grew up as the “golden child” in my family. not just my immediate family. my entire fucking family. the pressure to be perfect has lead me to develop debilitating anxiety in my 20′s, and it is what it is, but like, why the fuck couldn’t i have anxiety in high school like a normal teenager? why now?

so yeah my anxiety’s pretty bad. it’s pretty bad tonight, which is why i turned here. to tumblr. to try to write out my thoughts. which, by the way, i’m sorry, because this is an absolute fucking mess and makes no sense. if you are reading this, though, thank you. thank you for listening when no one else seems to.

anyway. growing up with the pressure of being *perfect* has a cost. at least for me it did: 1) anxiety of course, and 2) perfectionist tendencies. these have literally- LITERALLY - ruined my entire college and graduate school experience. perfectionism combined with anxiety is a recipe for fucking disaster, and i’ve been cooking it for years.

i am deliberately writing this without proper punctuation/grammer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, not capitalizing my letters etc., because i want to not have to be so perfect all the time on here, if this is something i’m going to stick to. i know that sounds silly but it’s actually been very difficult for me to write in all lower-caps and i’m very worried that no one will even read this and HEAR ME because of my literacy negligence (i have no idea if that’s even a real thing or if it even has meaning but it sounded right)

do u want to know why i decided to write this though, truly? what lead to me feeling like i’m “spiraling” - apart from no sleep in over 24 hours now? well, get ready to laugh, because i truly think i’m pathetic and going crazy.

i went to dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his fam. our waitress was a girl i used to know years ago in high school. my boyfriend knew her too. in fact, he knew her VeRY well. for the sake of my anxious overthinking, i don’t feel like going too much into the details of *that* situation, so thanks in advance for understanding.

anyway. this corny bitch made a joke about the current political environment. i won’t say what exactly, because i’d really like to keep my identity as concealed as absolutely possible on here. but long story short, no one really laughed - every one just kinda smiled awkwardly. but you know who did laugh? my boyfriend :)

TO ME, it seemed intentional. she wasn’t fucking funny, for one. she made a bad - no, a very bad- joke. like one of those corny dad jokes. not even a dad joke actually. a step-dad joke, except your step-dad is a loser that you hate, who treats ur mom/dad bad, has no sense of humor or a horrible sense of humor and idk, just fucking sucks you know ???

sorry that got kinda dark and it was unnecessary but do u know what i mean??? and no, that was literally not relevant to me or my family system/structure in any way. just kinda came to me, ya know? ...writing works in mysterious ways man

alright so if you don’t agree, that’s fine. i already told you to get ready to laugh, because i am well aware of how insane i fucking sound. but you know what makes anxiety & perfectionism 100x harder to cope with? insecurities. and i’m FULL of them.

so anyway. we left dinner. him & i were driving home. i will admit that i did have some wine at dinner, and i wasn’t drunk but i definitely was feeling cocky enough to stir the pot with him. so, i casually said, “hey... didn’t you date _____?” *insert annoying waitress’s name who i knew once upon a time*

i said it very calmly. very coooool. v collected and nice. he said “no? i’ve never even talked to or hungout with that girl”.

i wish u could see my face as i’m writing this right now bc i cannnot. like i gave u a choice.... the opportunity. tHE SIMPLE opportunity - a chance - to be fucking honest................................

this dude. straight up. lied to my face. about this fucking girl. ???????

YEARS AGO, they most certainly did talk. a lot. in fact, my crAZy ass searched their names on facebook to find their old little love notes to each other that they posted on each others’ walls. which were very cringey but nothing that made me feel jealous or insecure (for once). after all, they were from years ago- i’m talking 5+ - so likeeee.... why would he lie (:

oh and they definitely did hang out because.... i remember clearly.... a PICTURE OF THE two of them *together* *hangin* (prob bangin too) (sorry) years ago in this now-waitress’s bedroom. i believe it was a ~webcam photo~ that they took on the new mac computer her parents prob bought her. so this photo is now NO WHERE to be found. and believe me, i looked. no, i LURKED. i went to the beginnnning of her instagram posts and deep into her uploaded facebook pictures. ok, not ‘deep’, i literally got to the first pic she ever posted on FB just to try to find this damn picture. and it took me for. fucking. ever. because this bitch has prolly posted a million pictures in the last 5+ years like who does that???

but i swear to fucking whatever the fuck that this picture exists. i have fucking seen it. i’d describe it in perfect detail right now as if i saw it today, but, once again, i’m concealin my identity, yo, so i can’t do all that. v sorry

anywho. this dude - who i call my boyfriend (and yes i love him very very much and our past is absolutely fucked but that’s a whole other story for a very different time) - had the nerve, the audacity, to tell me to my face, that he “definitely doesn’t have a picture with her” because “they’ve never hung out or talked before” ... ?!??????

obv i sent him screenshots of the dirt i dug up on facebook from 5+ years ago (i.e., the old posts between them in case ya forgot during my rambling) bc like, caught ya in a lie sir. red handed.

i might be late on mentioning this part, but here’s the fucking kicker (and i’ve never used that phrase and i don’t know why i said that but ok?): TODAY, for the first time in MONTHS, literally!!!, bc of the virus and the quarantine and all that, i got ready today for dinner with his family. like actually got ready. i spent HOURS doing my make up. i don’t even remember the last time i did my make up, ok. i dressed in a really cute outfit. i felt fucking very good about myself. i thought for sure when he’d come pick me up to go to dinner he’d at least say something. at least acknowledge it. he has literally only seen me in raw form for too many days now. like, complete bare face and sweat pants basically every day since march.

but. did he even look at me twice?!!? no. did he mention anything about how i looked? how it was drastically different from my everyday attire the last couple months? did he take 2 seconds out of his day to say something corny or flirty to me? even just, “you look beautiful”??? honestly i would’ve even appreciated, “you look beautiful, for once” ???

did u guess the correct answer? well if u didn’t, it’s N O.

but u know who he did look at twice.

our waitress at dinner.

i think i wrote enough for one night. if u think this is my anxiety/perfectionism/insecurities combination spiraling out of control after being tamed incessantly for 20+ years, PLZ TELL ME.

but also, if you have a fucking brain, you’d know that:

1) this is definitely NOT the first time i’ve responded to something like this the way i did, and

2) i really just needed to ramble on and vent about all the shit that’s been going through my mind the last 2 1/2 hours, so there’s that.

have a good night get some sleep!!! thank u for ur time.

#why #me #cantsleep #upfor24hours #adderall #waitress #insecure #perfect #anxiety #sorry #helpme #help #needsleep #dontwanttotho #goodnight #getsomerest #ily #thanku

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questionthebox · 4 years

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How I really talk.

a few things, I want to make note of,

1. the notion of life or existence being a simulation is meaningless, as the word “simulation” doesn’t mean the intent, of what we all think it means, just google the definition, if life were really a simulation, no rules of “abstract reality/morality” alongside the fact that advanced science should already if this was true be able to understand it, and modify it, the way I put mods in my Skyrim, if life were truly a simulation, there would be by random chance, junk or glitches spread, no computer that I'm aware of, can simply run things this smoothly without glitches or crashes happening at points, if this was really being ran by a computer ? which is never specified when scientists speak of a simulation, they never specify what a simulation is machine wise, is it a super duper computer, or some sort of artificial intelligence, wouldn’t our super computers pick up mathematically if life was a simulation ? I'm just spitballing here, but I'll go back to that, if this was a simulation, why the inherent sense of morality and reality ? because I can mod my Skyrim so that I could kill anyone at will, and no one notices, lastly this notion of simulation, begs the ultimate question of why, perhaps our leading psychologists can answer this, but I don’t see why a “God” or “Gods” would do this to this extent, if we are indicative of the simulations, simulator, then that “God” presumably has the same sense of morality and reality that we do. my true feelings on life and its existence, is that of what the buddha said, of the unknowable questions, if anything, these questions will arise once different advance civs collaborate on them, if they the advance civs actually exist.

2. I feel weird when the notion of experience is thrown around, but somehow I have a lot of it, don’t know why, but I guess I always put myself in the, well actually I do know why, some people chase thrills, I chase narratives, but there’s something ive been encountering, people in my generation that have no experience whatsoever, in particular Sexual, which confuses me, considering how overly sexual things are, I'll be frank here, in that ive heard from many their little pussy ass sob stories, on their “experiences” I'm going to do something controversial here, and blame the victim, you people are just fucking weird, I realized that, it has nothing to do with all these grandiose things, you’re just weirdos, and cowards, who are afraid of life, who won’t grow up, Sex is part of growing up, its not this thing done to you, or that you do onto others, Sex is about the freedom of adulthood, its about looking at oneself as adult, and putting aside the bullshit, that distracts, and because these people have no experience all they have, is friends who are bland, trivial things like, video games, or whatever media these weirdos consume, its almost as if they’ve totally bought into being a passive audience member, that consumes, they are the true definition of a consumer, I'll put it like this, you’re never going to get me to fully put myself into anything that isn’t SEX, like I'm never going to treat College as I would Sex, because College and the people in it, are muted, boring, anal, and that’s it, in repeat, ive personally figured out a way to operate within this system, without it, affecting or defining what I do in life, in life, I chase narratives and people, and experiences, in life, I'll spend a week at a beach, doing drugs, writing a book of poems, you’ll never hear me talk about “BABY YODA” .

all that being said, its still weird to encounter, I'm 28 btw, people who have scarcely had SEX, and who want to have SEX with me, like no I'm not going to have sex with you, because your just a pussy ass spiritual asexual who wants to be a vampire and leech after my spirit, and trust me, there’s many of these people,

which leads me to this, my generation is a true “LOST generation”

from the totality still living with parents, of which I live with my dad, to all the things we are denied, to the unhealthy bullshit we have access to, and its even worse for the generation under us, those kids are dumb little weak pussies, and I mean piss dumb, they only know some fucking ghetto rapper, saying “yeah” over and over again, I fucking hate young people, I hate the attention paid to the young, I hate how they determine culture, just the way of perception, the young are weak, how many times have I told or tried to motivate people to do shit, how many times did I use to tell miss Agnes Varda, im a 29 year old writer woman, stuck writing romance novels, meanwhile I live with a ugly ass boring husband, she should write and make films,

and this is what Jen wants to be “young” ha,

over the past few years, ive found myself in an “entanglement” with a middle aged woman, who wants to be two things, an artist, and a young woman again, and I understand the first desire, and I know she is an artist, but the second one, I find to be utterly deranged, because the young of today offer nothing, who would want to be among them ? which reminds me,

last Semester of college, I was in the gallery, at the desk, surrounded by my classmates, all young people, it was national coming out day, and there was this door, people were taking pictures with, like going through the door to represent “coming out” and they all sort of gathered around me, to discuss, their insular little realities, with one bitch saying she was ASEXUAL, which I have a funny story to tell about her, that girl, was plain, a real plain Jane, and if you know me, you know how warm and nice I am, and so I paid her a compliment one day about her hair, and the next day, she comes all jazzed up, hair long, showing stomach, the whole 9 yards basically, trying to get my attention, and its like bitch you just made a whole thing about being ASEXUAL, and her deal was honest to gods truth, she didn’t want to grow up, the bitch just spoke about anime and cartoons, like yuck... ok then there was the little gerble little rodent looking bitch, who went on this long winded polite thing about being pan sexual, and this person is the definition of those people you meet at college who only care about being some ass kissing do goober who does their work and goes beyond doing the work, they treat it like a lifestyle, I had to listen to that bitch claim she’s “Pansexual” which made me laugh, because your only saying that because your ugly as fuck, and can’t get no dick or pussy if you tried, then the other weak ass followers chimed in their little polite coming out stories, and I'll never forget this, this dude, taps me on my arm, and says “yeah who’s really straight now anyways”

which leads me to this

I AM motherfucker, and yeah ive had queer experiences when I was younger, but that was due to just being experimental and fun, but as a 28 year old man, baby you best believe I love VAGINA, I love DOGGY, but they wouldn’t understand that because they ain’t never had it, or had anything good, honest to gods truth ive had some fire ass women, because im a fire ass nigga, I once made a woman, during a love making session, that started in the early evening, and continued to the next day, cum according to her, like 20 times, NO CAP... and that was just me being completely entranced and let loose, because love making is a feast, ive been lucky and you know what ima speak as a MAN, I was lucky for the first two women I really had, and one in particular, to have had women with absolutely knockout bodies, I mean this woman had d cup breasts, nice hips, ass, long hair, she did modeling originally when she lived with her aunt, I mean god damn nigga, and to just be young and experience that, because it was levels to this shit, it wasn’t just fucking, it was lets give each other a bunch of orgasms, because were genuinely super fucking attracted to each other, it was shit where I would be going on my intellectual rants and she would just start randomly kissing a nigga passionately, I remember the first time she did that I was like WTF, and she was like well I ain’t never heard anyone talk like you before, its passionate, and that was just one woman, in these 10 years, from 2010, til now, do you know how many groovy women ive been lucky to experience life with,

you think I just say shit, you think I write poems about ELLY, I write poems about her, because I know there’s shit her and I will do, that's super far out, from witch pagan shit to all kinds of shit, like niggas don’t have any sense of romance and imagination,

like its like people don’t care to know life as something beautiful in a collective sense,

im a communist because I can see life as that, you get me, all the shit I complain about, is this the shit I see that makes life not worth it, im choosing to stand up at risk of total alienation and people hating me, to say look it can be more then this.

MOTHERFUCKERS...

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #my thoughts #prose writing #metaphysical #rant post

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jeidafei · 5 years

Text

D.Gray-Man Vol.26: Komui’s Lounge (Extended) 4/5

>> Part 1 <<

>> Part 2 <<

>> Part 3 <<

Question 20: How many types of headphones does Marie have? And do they function differently?

Marie: Now I only have the latest model the Science Division developed for me. I keep it on at all times except when I go to bed.

Bak: I’ve contributed to the design as well. (ahem)

Marie: Did you? Thank you, Supervisor.

Lavi: But you’ll hear countless noises and voices from a considerable range all the time, right? Isn’t that exhausting?

Wisely: What!? You’re able to hear that much!? Where’s the respect for privacy?

Allen: Shut up about privacy, you.

Marie: Well, it was rough before I got used to it. I trained myself to listen for only important sounds from among countless noises. I’ve come to the point where everyday noises from people doing their chores and talking mostly just flow right by me, and since then I haven’t been “listening in” on anyone.

Link: Aha. You really are a true man of character, Noise Marie. You’d better take notes, Walker.

Allen: How did this come to me?

Link: Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how you threatened me with Timcanpy’s recordings.

(T/N: I don’t remember where the omake in which this happened is, but it was the recording of Link when Timothy possessed him on the Louvre’s roof and made all those funny faces and slobbering in the Phantom Thief G arc.)

Question 21: I’m curious about the length of time Krory can maintain his enhanced capabilities and the amount of Akuma blood needed. And also whether it is possible to extend his activation time by training, etc.

Bak: As of now he can drink blood from Akuma up to Level Three, and can stay activated for 10 minutes with 250ml of blood. Looks like he’s also experimenting to extend that time with support from the Science Division.

Lavi: Wouldn’t drinking more blood extend the activation time?

Bak: No, it wouldn’t. On the other hand, drinking less than 250ml will shorten the activation time to around 3 minutes.

Marie: When you said he can drink blood from Akuma up to Level Three, is it because he hasn’t experimented with blood from a Level Four yet?

Bak: Well, since obtaining blood from a Level Four is next to impossible...

Wisely: Ho ho ho. Indeed, indeed ♪.

Allen: Seeing Krory enjoying Akuma blood that much really does make you wonder whether it really is delicious, after all.

Link: Don’t try it out, Walker.

Question 22: Does Miranda always carry sweets with her while on a mission? And does she have a favorite flavor?

Link: I’ve heard that since her Innocence requires stamina, she’s come to carrying sweets at all times to supplement her calories, but about the flavor...

Marie: Miranda said she likes minty flavors.

Allen: Are you sure? Miss Miranda always gives me sweets whenever my stomach starts growling, and they’re always fruity flavors like strawberry or pineapple.

Lavi: That’s just coz you like fruit-flavored candies, isn’t it, Allen?

Marie: Haha. So she’s packing fruity candies just for you as well, huh.

Allen: Eh!? Is that so!?

Bak: By the way, whenever Lou Fa learns you’re coming to our branch, she’d always prepare Mitarashi dumplings, Walker.

Allen: Eh!? Now that you mention it, there really did seem to be Mitarashi dumplings around whenever I go to the Asian Branch.

Wisely: What!? If you really loved eating that much, then why didn’t you accept Tikky’s invitation to feast back then?

Allen: It’s not feasting that I have a problem with; it’s that Curly-Head. He’s the very man who tore a hole in my heart, have you forgotten? Do you expect me to enjoy a meal with such a groping pervert?

(T/N: Er, Allen...I think your point is a little off here...)

Link: So you won’t let your appetite win in that case, Walker?

Allen: Yes?

Link: Nothing. That’s a relief.

Question 23: So before Lavi became an Exorcist, he fought with a dagger?

Lavi: Eh? What’s this?

Wisely: They’re probably talking about that time back in the Ark. When you were in Road’s dream, remember?

Lavi: Ohhhh, so that was it. Wait, how come you know about that?

Wisely: La-de-dah♪

Marie: Lavi’s an all-rounder, like Bookman, right?

Allen: What on earth is that?

Marie: Those who can make use of any weapon depending on the situation.

Lavi: That’s because as Bookmen, virtually all our logs are of war zones. So Gramps trained me to be capable of handling any situation, and that training also includes martial arts.

Link: What are you most skilled with?

Lavi: Hmmmm. I like cudgels best, I guess.

Allen: You’re always fooling about whenever we duel-train, Lavi, and I’ve been thinking perhaps you’re no good. Kanda beats you in a blink, you see.

Lavi: Aaaawwww. Come on! It’s such a pain to fight seriously!

Bak: But back then, when you were dueling with Fō, you seemed quite serious, though.

Lavi: I wouldn’t call that a duel; Fō was coming at me like she’s dying to kill me, damn her. How could I not take it seriously!?

Allen: Yeah, Fō does mean it when she fights, doesn’t she.

Bak: She’s more a berserker than a guardian deity, that one.

Link: I see. You will not get serious unless it poses a certain level of threat to your life.

Question 24: Are Nea and the 14th the same individual?

Wisely: My my. Is this reader mistaking something here? “The 14th” is just the alias the previous generation of Noah bestowed upon Nea. There is only one Nea.

Link: Though Nea himself doesn’t seem fond of it; he’s said it is “a nickname given out of distaste”. Guess I’d have to be careful from now...

Allen: Huh? Careful of what?

Link: Would you like some mango juice, Walker?

Allen: WEE-HEE!

Bak: I’ve been wondering. Why isn’t he called “The 14th disciple” like the other Noahs but simply “The 14th”?

Wisely: Perhaps that is the distaste Nea was talking about. As has already been revealed in the Gray Log Fanbook, Nea has no Noah Memory, and for that very reason, the other Noahs may have treated him as the black sheep of the family. Well, I guess I’ll leave you here with a cliffhanger until the boy uncovers Nea’s secrets in the main narrative.

Marie: He has no Noah Memory, so he couldn’t reincarnate like the other Noahs, and that is why he implanted his memories within Allen?

Link: Exactly when did he implant them within you? Do you really have no idea, Walker?

Allen: Told you; I really don’t know! It’s said to be around 35 years ago! I’m sixteen, remember? I didn’t even exist then!

Wisely: ..............

Lavi: What the heck are you grinning about, Three-Eyes?

Wisely: Nuffink.

(T/N: OMG OMG OMG OMG OH MY FREAKING GAWD WISELY DID YOU JUST FREAKING CONFIRM THE PAST!ALLEN THEORY WITHOUT SAYING A SINGLE WORD???!!!)

Question 25: Allen’s left eye should have become able to project the image of the Akuma souls to others, but it seems nobody apart from Lavi has seen it. Is it deciding itself whether to let other people see the souls within the Akuma?

Lavi: Ah, that...Just remembering it still gives me the creeps even now.

Allen: Back then when Lavi and Krory said they could see the Akuma’s soul, at first I was definitely sure the curse has strengthened in power, and from now people other than me will be able to see the souls, too. But after that, nobody ever saw it again. Looks like it’s just a one-time thing, after all.

Lavi: It was right after your damaged eye resurrected with the curse’s power, right? With your eye being in an unusual state like that, anything can happen. Me and Krorykins were just unfortunately caught up in the curse’s rampage.

Allen: Well, it’s a relief, anyway. After all, it’s not a pleasant sight to behold. If it ends with you not having to see it anymore, I’d say it’s for the best.

Bak: I’m interested, though. As part of the Science Division, we welcome any information on the Akuma.

Wisely: So am I. For even my Demon Eye cannot see souls. In what state are they, the souls within Akuma?

Link: How could you say these things like it doesn’t concern you when you’re on the very side creating Akuma?

Marie: Must have been hard getting used to seeing those souls, huh, Allen?

Allen: When I first saw one, I was so scared I couldn’t even bear to look. But Master was patientーWell, for him. “Those things aren’t scary”, he’d scold me; they were once living humans just like us, and they’re just screaming for me to save them, after all. It took a long time, but just like that, little by little I became able to look at them.

Question 26: What do Kanda, Allen, Lenalee and Lavi smell of? Lenalee would probably smell very nice. Well, she’s a girl after all; she’s definitely using perfume and the like, right?

Marie: Hmmmm. Kanda’s scent? Soap is the closest bet, I’d say.

(T/N: Sensei, considering the general negative image of D.Gray-Man as a Yaoi manga may I say this is not a wise move? *laffs*)

Allen: And me, Marie? What about me?

Marie: You usually have a sugary smell about you, Allen. Like dessert.

Lavi: Because there’s always crumbs all over your clothes, Allen.

Allen: Lavi’s eyepatch gives out whiffs of Fabreeze.

(T/N: the popular Japanese brand of air-freshener/deodorant spray.)

Lavi: Oi! Don’t say stuff from the old Instagram page! Some readers won’t get it!

(T/N: In Hoshino’s old Instagram there’s a drawing of Allen spraying Fabreeze at Lavi’s face for some reason. I don’t remember the caption. She’s also reposted it on her new Instagram just to clarify this joke. Maybe it’s just that he never/rarely takes off his eyepatch for cleaning and it’s moldy and sweaty...?)

Marie: Hmmmm...as for Lavi...he smells of tobacco a bit.

Allen: Yeah! Just like Master’s scent.

Lavi: Ah, Gramps’ cigarettes, huh? I’m aware of that.

Wisely: Bookman is a heavy smoker as ever. A wonder his lungs are still holding out even at his age.

Marie: I think Lenalee usually has a flowery scent, though.

Bak: Yes, she does! Lenalee-san smells like sweet flowers!

Allen: Bak-san, keep your voice down! If Komui-san hears you, we’d be in for big trouble!

Lavi: Lenalee doesn’t use perfume, and still she smells so nice.

Allen: There’s this thing she uses. You see, a while back I was talking to Lenalee about having more scars or something, and she said; “This works wonders, you know.” and gave me some of this thingーkinda like Body Oil? Could it have been that oil’s scent? The scars would fade if you keep rubbing this oil on them, from the looks of it. It smells wonderful when she’s putting it on me.

Bak: SHE WAS PUTTING IT ON YOU, WALKEEEEEEER!? (snaps)

(T/N: Trust me I had a really hard time keeping this one from becoming Fifty Shades of (D.) Gray or Silence of the Lambs for that matter...)

Allen: NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE! REALLY!

Lavi: Body oil, huh...ah, my heart’s gettin’ all weird just hearing that.

Link: What’s with that dirty look on your face, Bookman Jr?

>> Part 5 <<

#d gray man #dgm #dgm vol 26

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jq37 · 5 years

Note

Let's go final bloodkeep ep breakdown!

**spoilers for the tomb of ultimate evil**

I was originally kind of annoyed that dropout wasn’t working when I wanted to do this originally, but it’s actually kind of a blessing in disguise now that I think about it because it means I get to rewatch and discuss the ep in light of the bombshells Brennan dropping in the BTS video.

As I watch the Previouslies, I realize I’m still not over the fact that Maggie named her kid after Leiland. It was so sweet an unexpected.

So, at the start of this episode, Brennan must have realized that his plans are pretty much jossed because the 4 baby blessing was *very* not on the docket

“Absolutely, Lilith’s got 25 strength.” Idk why that’s so funny to me. Maybe because I think Rekha was asking whether Lilith was allowed to carry her, not if she was physically cable but Brennan was like “Of course she can carry you. She’s an absolute unit.”

Leiland’s first move? Drawing all the enemy fire. Markus’s first move? Immediately hiding. In fairness, my dude is a rogue.

Lol, spiderweb baby bjorn.

“We’re evil but we understand communication and consent.”

Nat 20 from Old Pickering! Finally he’s useful!

Watch a bitch call lightning! A different bitch, but still.

Amy’s childish delight at the prospect that there might be a bomb in the goblins is so good.

I love how on board everyone was for the mystery potion.

Did Hork exist before this episode? I have no memory of him existing.

Nat 20 for Sohkbar!

Brennan is really so good at all of his on the cuff J'er'em'ih nonsense.

Erika yelling, “Sanctuary!” a la Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I like that Lilith calls her spider kids to defend them by going, “Get ‘em ladies!” and then Brennan decides one of the kids she summoned is Jason.

“I really am sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done…and everything I’m about to do.”

Leiland Jr. MVP!

I love that Lilith treat’s Sohkbar as if he’s also a parent.

Two words I’ve learned to fear since I’ve started watching RPG shows: Lair action.

Leiland just BARELY not being on the falling chunk of floor.

Brennan really faked me out on that Jason fall. Man really was about to make me cry over a fictional spider for the SECOND TIME in my life (Charlotte’s Web).

I love Erika screaming over Jason in and out of character separately.

“Guys, this is our element! Knocking people off of things!”

Leiland’s affirmations. Who is doing counseling at the Bloodkeep.

AOE spells are so boss.

“Everyone look at Leiland! He’s doing it!” Aww, everyone finally gets to see him be cool! It’s really wild how much of an arc these guys went through in just 2 days of play. It’s very narratively consistent.

“Oh you fucking freak, you’d love that.”

“Tell him something is gonna happen to his bones but don’t explain it.”

Rekha loudly announcing her ridic amount of hitpoints is on of my fave things

I love how in both campaigns so far, Brennan has had a moment of, “You’re not bad at magic, you’re just depressed.” What an oddly specific thing but also, relateable.

Cell Block Tango ft. Leiland.

Leiland curses one of the Vingury. I’m sure that won’t be important later (I’m lying).

Ify/Markus just refusing to learn Hobbert and Frod’s names.

Ify: *Trying to do a shenanigan*

Brennan: I see what’s happening here.

DOOR LORE. DOOR LORE. DOOR LORE.

So I guess the real lesson of this season of D20 is always commit to your running jokes because you’ll get free nonsense out of it. (A 19! That’s so painful!)

Jessa just straight eats not-Gollum.

Both Jason and Jessa are very protective of their mom and I love it.

Maggie All elves look the same. (Maggie said F elf rights)

The full 6 seconds of silence from Matt between his saying he loves J'er'em'ih more than any other animal companion and looking directly at the camera and saying, “Except for Trinket,” very seriously.

Amy: I must become the necro boatman.

Brennan, whose plans have now been entirely womped: :O.

I truly didn’t even consider attacking the boatman. I feel like this is such a good DM moment, because I feel like my reaction would have been, “That’s not how this works,” but Bren just let it happen, which is better both for the story and player agency. I’m taking notes.

Efink getting validation on her chosen name by the evil statues.

“Kick his ass and you get the power!”

“I’m like a setpiece, not like a guy!”

Sohkbar claims the baby as his ward. This baby is gonna have so many godparents.

“MY DAD SHIT IN A BAG?”

What a wild improv.

I love the ancient evil statues have Lilith’s back on the fact that she should have gotten the promotion.

When Leiland Jr was born Brennan was like, “He’s not gonna do much. He’s a baby.” One ep later this baby is taking turns and fireblasting enemies and talking like he’s the Godfather.

OK so there’s a lair action. Leiland rolls a NAT ONE to not plummet into the Bloodkeep. Brennan clearly is ready to bring out the ghost figurines we saw in the BTS.

The statue Lilith JUST got the blessing from falls which means if she hadn’t gotten it that turn, they would have been screwed. Sidenote: Brennan says it was an instant lose condition for them which is part of why I was surprised that this wasn’t his plan to begin with. He just readjusted everything on the fly and set new parameters. What a good, confidence projecting, quick thinking DM.

It’s Leiland’s turn. He is once again falling to his doom. This time, without the bossa nova music and soothing apathy because he actually has something to live for.

AND HE USES HIS HEX TO TELEPORT TO THE VINGURY HE HEXED BEFORE.

It was JUST close enough. And he almost cursed Olag instead! That decision saved his undead ass!

I love that Leiland is Uncle Leiland to Jason! And later Jessa calls Efink Aunt Efink. I wanna see evil Thanksgiving so bad.

“You’re really killing it today Leiland!” My boy finally getting the praise he deserves. (Also, wild that this is all still THE SAME DAY)

“oKAY, okay, OKAY, oKay.” –Brennan having a moment

“You wanted us to play evil characters but we’re actually playing evil players.”

Man this episode is truly how Leiland got his groove back, huh?

Boatman rolls a 4 to resist fear. Go Leiland!

“I take off my mask to reveal…I’m sexy as fuck.”

Everyone including the evil statue is hot for Markus.

“Shut the fuck up, Olag. Go kill yourself.” Maggie just has no patience for nonsense (that’s not the kind of nonsense she enjoys anyway).

“Do I take psychic damage from that?”

Lilith gets a nat 20!

Maggie, upon Leiland calling her 'my queen’ for the second time: Just call me Maggie, please.

“THAT’S AN ABILITY J'ER'EM'IH HAS?”/“I guess.”

“Lilith, you’re my girl! Lilith, my girl!” They grab hands over the table. It’s such a pure moment.

Brennan after they kill the Boatman: I mean, fuck me I guess.

Leiland goes down. Leiland Jr. goes, “Nah, get up, you’re fine,” and he gets back up. (Brennan at this point has clearly fully leaned in to the direction his players dragged him).

Leiland comes back as Leiland the White. And I just realized! That’s the ghost figurine! I thought that was the figure Bren got for when Leiland inevitably completed his story arc. No! It was the figure for in case Leiland DIED.

Leiland FONZES at Leiland Jr.

Nat 20 from Maggie to avoid falling into the Bloodkeep!

Leiland lets Markus convince him to not kill Olag (for future shenanigans). Leiland instead owns Toby and rolls a 29 to convince Oswald back onto their side. Toby also comes as a zombie on their side. Everything’s coming up Leiland!

Except no, he goes back down immediately and falls face first into the blood pool.

OK, check it. Markus bargains with one of the evil statues to make Olag alive and undead for eternity. The statue is kinda on board but wants to make a trade. Markus basically goes, “Watch this,” and STEPS INTO THE VOID.

Go back and watch Amy’s reaction. It’s so genuinely shocked and concerned. Matt’s is good too.

Sidenote: That is apropos of nothing goal wise. He just wanted to torture Olag.

Maggie gets the final blessing with a quiet, heartfelt speech Brennan doesn’t even make her roll for. The statue tries to get her to put in a good word w/ her dad for it and steps all over the moment.

Ify, about to pull out shenanigans part two, electric boogaloo: I never got a chance to attack on my turn.

He attacks himself and warps back up!

Amy: Is that how you play a rogue????

Why sneak attack damage? Can you sneak attack yourself?

“You’re a liar!”/“I’m a rogue.” Beautiful.

We’re evil!

Oswald dies and Leiland comes back! Hexing Oswald really panned out for him

“It’s all spiders from here!” I wanna start saying that.

Efink cancels out a nat 20 on Sohkbar!

Lilith telling her kids to go find safety is a small thing but sweet.

“You know you live near Goblin Island and you always say you’re gonna visit.”

Markus swashbuckles over to the bloodkeep before he falls. Leiland is ready to jump his bones.

Nat 20 from Leiland! Is that his first one?

AND THEN HE ROLLS TWO NAT ONES!

Classic Leiland.

I love that Leiland is pro J'er'em'ih now.

John Feathers comes back for the epilogue. Rehka is more excited than anyone.

Lilith is voted queen regent of Gorgar! Go girl! And Jessa opens her fashion firm while Jason sets out to the forest. Good for them.

Scream beast babies!

And little Leiland asks big Leiland to get him the head of Galfast Hamhead! Full circle, I love it.

OK so Brennan said this and he was right. Leiland and Maggie have such a wild ass arc. She goes being “that whore” in ep 1 (idr what he actually called her but that’s the vibe he gave off) to “my queen” in episode 6. And like, man. Imagine planning a game where the goal is to lead the players into a PvP free for all and, instead, the only two characters with a legit grievance mend fences so much that one names their child after the other and that one swears fealty to that mom and her child. Imagine failing so hard at your original goal. Wow.

Anyway, that’s it for Bloodkeep! Thanks for hanging in there for me to write this up! I want to say something about the teaser for T.U.S. too but I’ll save that for another post.

Sidenote: So Matt has been on D20 and Brennan has been on Naddpod. I think this means Brennan or Murph gets to be on Critical Role now. I’m a lawyer and I’m pretty sure that’s how the law works.

#asks #a-salty-alto #escape from the bloodkeep #bloodkeep #dimension 20 #i know this is typo riddled but this is a 3 hour episode and I don't have the patience to edit this rn so...

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