#it would just be fun and give a lot of opportunities for conflict both inner and outer 4 mig i think. nd conflict is what drives a story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wisteria-lodge · 3 years

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lion primary + burnt rapid-fire bird secondary (snake model)

Hi! I’m really enjoying your page and was wondering if you might help me to find my sorting? I can’t settle on Chill Lion Primary or Snake Primary.

I seem to be able to leave friendships really easy

Not *Badger,* maybe? Because Snake can be friends with people who aren’t Inner Circle. Depends on what level of loyalty we’re talking about here… need more data.

if the choice is a stranger in need vs. my closest friend, it would be a stranger I would feel worst for abandoning, but I probably only deeply care about my family members, and friends only to some extent and helping someone in need would make me feel as a better person than just not turning my back on a friend.

… THAT is not a Snake primary answer, I can tell you that for sure.

When I was a kid and my mom would have a fight with my stepfather, I would always side with my mom, even if I knew she was not really right. I did not want to hurt her, but now when I am older, I know how important it is to stand by what you see as right, so I try to d talk about seeing things from both sides, even though I will still stand by her side in the end, probably. There is not much I can do for the people I care about, but when I am given an opportunity to protect and fight for them, I will.

There’s something interesting going on here. Because clearly you acted in a super Snake way when you were younger (‘they might be wrong, but I’m still going to defend them’) but… you felt bad about it. And you definitely *feel* bad about it, in retrospect.

Especially with that situation you gave me right there… I would not be at all surprised if you were expected to model Snake, or even forced to model Snake when you were younger.

But I deeply believe ‘the root of all evil’ is only caring about your own. I think that is selfish and cold.

Yeah. I think you may have an unhealthy Snake influence in your life. The conflict between Loyalists and Idealists is very near the heart of this system, and they do go back and forth, with Loyalists seeing Idealists as ruthless and cruel, Idealists seeing Loyalists as… yeah, selfish and cold. The way I see it, both are beautiful and expansive and know things the other needs to learn - and both can also be warped, and unhealthy, and scary.

I think I would be a better person if I had something to believe in, if I would fight for something bigger than me. I have not found it. Or maybe I did, but there is not much I can do about it. I can not incorporate it into my life apart from personal small actions, and I want to do more

This is very much a Lion primary dream. And I just want to say that the Lion dream does not have to be huge and all-encompassing in order to be meaningful, and real, and fulfilling.

Or maybe I just want an easy and lazy life, just doing what I like and just a bit more and that’s it. Sometimes it is like that too, I believe.

And you know what, that’s kind of a Lion primary mood too :)

I wouldn’t say standing by people you most care about is morally right, but it is a damn strong force.

Still Lion. Like OF COURSE if you can stand by both your morals and your people, that’s IDEAL.

As much as I can remember, I never had anything big and idealistic to believe in, apart from not hurting others, and a lot of what I believe in now is based on that.

You *want* something big and idealistic to believe in, to be happy and fulfilled. That’s still Lion, even if no Cause has clicked with you yet. (I suspect you’re a little burned, which can’t be helping.)

So I was always really harsh to people who I thought were selfish.

Again with this negative Snake influence.

I thought I was a Lion Secondary, but more and more I keep noticing how much I am using honesty as a tool.

Hmmm. Could be a Snake secondary tactic, but Birds do like their tools….

Sure, being yourself is the easiest thing in the world

… everyone does not feel this way. You’ve got strong Lion in your sorting somewhere.

but it also allows you to be seen as readable and trustworthy in your words. I know how much I can shift words or tone just a bit. Sometimes it feels like I am watching from inside, going “oh, you’re doing this now?”

That’s interesting. The way you’re describing thing - the slight arm’s length, knowing the mask is a mask, but also not planning the mask - is making me think more Snake. Although Actor Bird *is* possible.

I am very emotional, and I find it hard to distinguish my morality and moral choices from just general things I do and want.

… so you’re a Lion primary.

So the only other primary on my list could be Lion, which I find hard to understand. How can things turn from some tug of the heart to a full-fleshed ideal? My belief – trying not to hurt people and all that is related to it, in my mind, still comes from a grounded reality, from the fact that it hurts me to see someone being hurt. It’s not because it was idealistically formed somewhere. I think I probably don’t understand this correctly.

Lion primaries aren’t jedi. Their ideals don’t get magically beamed into their heads from some outside force. Lions reason just the same as Birds, they just use a different part of their psyche to do it. The fact that your morality (at its core, at its base) comes from the way things make you feel… that is what makes you a Lion. Birds don’t process things that way.

Maybe this sounds a bit like a Badger Primary, but there is no place for a group in my morality, in my life. Neighbors? Pffft, just let us live in peace and leave us alone. Groups are unpleasant usually. Maybe if you could choose people you like and click with them. Of course, acceptance is important, but it will never be the basis of anything. Have I never had an important group in my life? Maybe, but that would either mean I have been burned for a long time or I am just not a Badger Primary.

You’re not a Badger primary. And while it’s not a universal thing, I would say that Lion primaries tend to be the *most* comfortable with being loners, or spending extending periods of time as loners.

Of course, I use my brain and prioritize in the moment and use logic. I am not a sweet and nice badger girl, although I will be nice and smile and act my part, and sometimes you do hurt someone by telling the truth or putting yourself first, because I also don’t want to hurt myself if I have a different choice.

This is all starting to sound very snake secondary. The practicality, and twisting, and changing in the moment. Although maybe there’s a Badger performance in there?

Even if I can’t feel what others are feeling, I have something informing me about what they might be feeling. Do I care about not hurting my neighbor? It’s more like I care about not hurting myself by getting into a bad situation with them, being shouted at or having other kinds of problems with them, but that’s still some kind of motivation

Move around the problem, be like water.

Honesty is an idealistic value, and I like it, but I think it probably just makes my life easier, easier to read people and be read.

Snake secondary.

I think I also strongly believe in persons’ right to be and express who they are, that’s why I grew up hating gender stereotypes and not really playing into social rituals. I just want to be seen and liked for who I am.

Lion primary.

My Secondary? It probably burned to ashes. Thinking about how I am doing stuff, improv vs build, it just gives me a headache. Improvisation gives me stress, it gives me hell, but it’s the easiest way.

I mean, all the stuff you’ve been talking about - reading people, putting on the right face, changing direction - absolutely counts as improvisational.

Planning, preparing? Lovely, usually - access denied. I just go head first just because I don’t know any other way and have no interest or energy to search for it. I am easily bored, so even if I wanted to work, prepare, research, I would lose interest so fast that there would be no use in even trying.

I don’t think you’re a Badger secondary - but it’s just hard to tell because you are so down on your secondary in general. You’re telling me that prepping in theory is lovely but you don’t know how to do it? (not that you don’t LIKE it. That you CAN’T do it.)

I always thought I would finally find something I wanted to work on, something I would enjoy putting time and energy into, but that does not seem to come true.

That’s some more of the angst of your charred/unfulfilled Lion primary coming though.

I am disappointed in myself. You know, it would be very nice if I could be witty and smart and improvise in the moment, but I’m not,

So you *like* Snake secondaries at least.

so I just gave up some time ago and now usually go straight with my head first. At least I’m getting the experience I would never get any other way.

Your secondary is burnt, for sure. But just reading between the lines here… I think you’re much smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit for.

I think if I were to be a Lion Secondary and constantly do this, I wouldn’t feel the heaviness over my secondary.

That’s another big sign of a burnt secondary. Doing things isn’t fun, it’s heavy, it’s a chore, it’s a slog.

Okay, let’s talk about recipes and cooking. I will follow the recipe, at least until I get what is going on, which flavor does what, why is this and not that. Then I can ditch it. I can add whatever I want later on. If I know which parts are the most important, I might not even need the recipe.

… okay, so this suddenly sounds a LOT like a Rapid-Fire Bird

Imagine a world where they give you a recipe for an apple pie and say make a pie. You follow it, your pie looks fine. Then, when they taste it, they tell you, Oh, you didn’t know, you needed to use sour apples. You didn’t figure that out on your own? No, dagnabit, I was concentrating on making an apple pie for the first time in my life. I had no experience of this thing. I didn’t know what it would be. Then they tell you, Oh, maybe you needed to use coconut sugar or something else, or maybe should have figured out yourself that it’s too sweet or that you hate cinnamon, or maybe your oven is not working properly, so you need to deal with that. Yeah, that’s how I feel about life and its problems and people.

Oh that’s interesting. Because what *this* bit is sounding like… is the angst of a Built secondary dealing with a lot of Improvisational secondaries. I’m think you’re a Bird… with a lot of Snakes and Lions in your life.

Every chance I get, I try to tell people these little small things that you somehow supposedly had to figure out on your own. You need to crack the system first to know how you can break it the best way to achieve your goals. Life, problems, people are systems I will never be able to crack. There is nothing to grab onto, so that’s why freefalling headfirst is the best and the easiest option.

OH. Burnt bird secondary. Snake model.

Btw, I am reading other submissions while writing this, to not go completely out of the path and get any ideas that would be valuable. I do like to have a net behind me to catch me if I fall, ha.

And another little detail that sounds very Birdy.

So I’m reading you as a Lion primary with a Rapid-fire Bird secondary. Your primary is burned a little, and your secondary is burned a lot. And a big part of the reason for that is that you’ve got people around you expecting you to use a Snake model all the time, and you *do* have one, you do. But it feels heavy to you right now. You don’t hate it, but you’d rather use Rapid-Fire or maybe Actor Bird. And that might be feeding into the general Anti-Snake sentiment I’m seeing here.

#submission #sortme #sortinghatchats #wisteria sorts #lion primary #lionpri #burnt lion primary #bird secondary #rapid fire bird secondary #bird secondary vs snake secondary #birdsec #snake secondary model

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doyelikehaggis · 3 years

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Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Josie Saltzman x Jed Tien (Legacies)

Requested by anonymous

Josie's laughing. She has been for nearly the last half hour, no matter how serious she keeps trying to be.

"No, no — that's not what it says!" she says, trying to sound stern but only laughing more as Jed continues purposefully messing up the script. She reaches to take it back from him. "Stefan would never say that!"

"It's creative freedom," Jed argues, grinning. His voice only grows more amused as he stretches his arm up further with the script, knowing that she can't reach it but delighting in watching her try. Those stupid four inches of height really do make a difference even sitting down. "Landon took creative freedom just writing this whole thing, so why can't we?"

Josie puffs out a breath, momentarily pausing her attempts. "Because — Landon kept as close to the facts as he could through history books and talking with my uncle Damon, but you—“

She lunges for the script, thinking his guard will be lowered enough for her victory. But Jed has the reflexes of a wolf and immediately stretches his arm higher, switching the script over to his right hand to add even more of an obstacle, and leaving her hands to lunge pointlessly at his wrist. Jed laughs and it's impossible for Josie not to as well, even through her groaning and slumping in defeat.

"—you're just making things up!" she finishes with another huff.

"You don't know that!" Jed insists, his eyes shining with joy at their playful bickering. "Here, listen, I feel like I can really capture Stefan's inner monolouge." He clears his throat theatrically and Josie rolls her eyes even as she bites the inside of her cheek to keep her smile from straying too far at the serious, brooding look he puts on. "I'm so conflicted. Should I tell Elena that I'm a vampire, or should I cover myself in glitter and go out in the sun in front of her in the hopes that she'll catch on?"

"Oh my god, sto-o-op!" Josie exclaims, bursting into laughter again and throwing her head back. "You sound like Uncle Damon!"

"I'm mocking Damon," Jed counters, his mock seriousness cracking to let his grin shine through as he slips back into his dramatic speech, standing up. Josie's eyes widen and she follows him, back to actively trying to retrieve the script from him. "What if she would prefer a sparkling boyfriend? Will I have to lie and tell her Twilight was real for the rest of our lives together?"

"I think she would notice you were lying when you run out of — glitter!" Josie makes another failed lunge for the script. She jumps for it, but Jed quickly switches hands again. "Or when she becomes a vampire as well and realizes that she burns just trying to open the curtains."

Jed hums and nods as if in genuine deep thought, all while still walking backwards and ensuring the script is out of her reach. She's not really trying to get it back anymore. More just making halfhearted lunges for it, only succeeding in grabbing at his arms instead.

"You make a good point," he concedes. "Maybe she'd be willing to settle for me in all of my non-sparkliness." A mischievious glint brightens in his eyes as he looks at Josie and plasters on that brooding look again. "Elena. I'm sorry I don't sparkle."

Josie rolls her eyes. "Are we really doing this?"

Jed raises an eyebrow and gives her a look that says, we are if you play along. And, okay, they have some time to spare for rehearsal. Landon probably won't need them for another half hour while he's going over Lizzie's scenes as their mom and Cleo as Aunt Bonnie. They're having some trouble getting their last duet number done, the one before the wedding after Stefan killed Enzo. It's a whole thing.

So, playing along could be fun.

"You lied to me, Stefan," Josie says, putting on her best impression of her aunt Elena. She tries not to think about how much trouble she would be in for this with her. "You told me it was all real. Was it all just an act? Are you even really allergic to garlic?"

The last part nearly makes Jed crack up on the spot, having to press his lips together. After a calm beat, he gets back into character — or at least the caricatures of them — and looks at Josie with wide eyes, pleading with her.

"I..." He turns his head away dramatically, and in a whisper, says, "No. I'm not."

Josie scoffs and takes a step back as if scandalized. Disgusted.

"Our entire relationship is a lie!" she accuses, a hand on her chest. "Did you plan on running into me that day outside the bathroom? Was this whole thing just some... some twisted, manipulation?"

"No!" Jed steps towards her, hands outstretched to reach for hers, but Josie holds one up in front of her, stopping him short. "No, it was nothing like that. Yes, I — I maybe did run into you on purpose that day, but it's because I already knew how much I cared about you. And when we did meet, those feelings for you only grew stronger."

They are partially taking words from the script, Josie acknowledges, only saying them instead of singing them, and it's only bits here and there. The rest is entirely improvised on the spot, and Josie will admit, she's kind of impressed by how well he's nailing this. She knew he was really excited about getting to play Stefan but she hadn't really thought he put that much thought into it beyond... well, showing off like a lot of the others who auditioned.

"But how can I know that you're telling the truth?" Josie says, shaking her head sadly. She gingerly reaches for the pendant around her neck, fingering it gently as she glances down at it. "You could have gotten in my head without me knowing about it."

"I would never do that to you," Jed insists firmly, trying to catch and hold onto her gaze. "That necklace protects you from any vampire's mind compulsion. I gave it to you to protect you."

"From you?" Josie snaps, her head shooting up and her chin jutting out with a glare.

A mistake, because it gives Jed the perfect opportunity to keep her eyes locked on his. Once they're there, focused on his wide, sad eyes — they're not as dark in this lighting and up this close, they're kind of like a shimmering brown, little lighter brown specks flickering like sparks off of a spell against the darker brown — she can't look away. She's too caught up in it.

"Yes," Jed agrees softly. "From me as well. So you would know, when this moment finally came, that I would never dream of doing anything to hurt you. Not on purpose." He sighs. "You don't have to trust me, Elena, but please believe that I'm telling the truth when I tell you that everything else was real, including... especially my feelings for you."

"How can you be so sure, Stefan?" Josie asks. "How -- how do you know yourself that what you feel for me is real and not just some way for you to hold on to your past?" She steels her stare as best she can, setting her jaw. "To Katherine?"

"Because what I feel for you is beyond anything I ever felt for Katherine," Jed swoops right in, saying the right words in the right voice.

He steps forward and she doesn't back away this time, but tilts her head up, keeping her ground. Then, with perfect calculation, and as smooth as if he does this all the time, he reaches out and rests a hand on either side of her neck, thumbs just barely brushing her jaw. When she says she freezes like a statue, she means it save for the shiver that runs from where his palms are touching her skin, down her spine and up the back of her neck.

"You and her… you're nothing alike," Jed says, softening his voice like melted butter, and Josie swears she's not just staring at him with her mouth open in awe, but she also can't be sure. "You share an appearance, but when I look at you... you're all I see. No one else. Because your heart is what make you who you are, and your soul. And those are things I can feel and see, and they're the reason that I fell in love with you. Because of who you are, the way you think, the way you love and feel so passionately."

He slips a hand up to lightly brush away a stray lock of her hair. His eyes follow his own fingers to tuck it behind her ear. Josie tries to recall if werewolves have heightened hearing because her heart may be turning into a ticking time bomb and she's not too sure why, but something is telling her no one else should be allowed to hear it.

"That's why I love you," Jed repeats, reconnecting with her gaze. "Even if you may never believe that."

This is her cue, a little voice reminds her, suddenly striking an alarm bell that reverberates through her mind and kicks her out of her staring —gazing, it was definitely gazing, Lizzie would call it gazing, for sure.

"I believe you," she breathes out.

Jed blinks in surprise, then a soft smile takes its place. Josie returns it.

Then the Lizzie voice echoes back through her mind, saying, this is the part in the play where you kiss. And that thought absolutely terrifies Josie, because — what? They were just joking around, but it's occuring to her now that come show night, they will be doing this again, for real, and yes, there will be a kiss. A very scripted kiss. No spontaniety.

"Even..." she continues quietly, kicking the train of thought off its tracks and diverting down a safer route, "... if I'm disappointed that you don't sparkle. I was looking forward to having a disco ball for a boyfriend."

It successfully breaks Jed out of character; he laughs and has to look away. Josie almost breathes a sigh of relief with the connection broken. It was like a spell had come over her. She just laughs with him, her shoulders easing down a little from where they had hunched with frozen tension.

Before either of them can speak again, there's an outburst of applause from the doorway. Josie's and Jed's eyes widen as they both quickly look over to find Landon, Lizzie, and Cleo standing there. All three are clapping and wearing bright smiles; Landon's eyes are wide and... in awe, his expression like an excited puppy; Cleo is simply smiling, but there's something in her eyes that dances around the knowing expression; and Lizzie has never looked so smug in her life.

The two of them break apart, Jed quickly pulling his hands back to him then hastily stuffing them in his pockets. Josie fiddles with the pendant around her neck and tries to avoid looking at anyone as her cheeks flush hot and probably red.

"That... was amazing!" Landon is saying, marching right over to them with purpose that gives Josie great anxiety. "You two — oh my god, the chemistry? You have nailed the roles of Stefan and Elena, I mean" —he's looking between them with those wide eyes of disbelief, shaking his head— “if I didn't know better watching that, I would have sworn it was real! You were obviously the perfect choices for this."

Josie's face only flushes harder, more furiously at that comment. She chuckles nervously, and it ends too quickly. When she glances up at Lizzie, she finds exactly the expression she was anticipating. The knowing side-eye, the smirk, the slightly tilted head that says she is definitely getting involved in this. That's going to be a fun conversation.

Meanwhile, Jed rubs his neck sheepishly and tries not to appear too flustered under the many pairs of eyes. "Thanks! Uh, yeah, we were just... practicising. We went a little off-script, sorry about that. Just wanted to get a feel of the characters."

"Oh yeah, I don't doubt you wanted a feel of the characters," Lizzie emphasizes to Josie's mortification. She ignores her do you have to?! look of alarm and crosses her arms. "But... I agree with Landon."

"Yes, you two were incredible," Cleo chimes in, and Josie manages a small smile of thanks back at her when she catches her eyes. "I don't know this Stefan or Elena but with you two playing them, I feel like I do."

Josie's rubbing at her neck now, trying to keep her smile in place as she nods. "Thanks. So, uh, are you guys done rehearsing?"

The quick change in subject does not go unnoticed by either of the girls. Or Jed, who slides her a glance that adamantly avoids catching. Only Landon, who deflates a little but doesn't entirely lose the strangely upbeat thing he has going on at the moment.

"Sort of. For now. We're taking a break," he says. "We've got most of the number down. It's just this bit towards the end, but it'll be all fine. You guys just keep rehearsing — all of you!"

He points a finger at each of them in turn as he starts to back away. Josie's beginning to think his upbeat thing is more of a nervous breakdown thing the more she sees him. It's like he's becoming more and more unravelled with every rehearsal. Understandable, she thinks quietly to herself, it's not exactly easy.

As he leaves the gym, Lizzie turns an arched eyebrow on them. "So, should we leave the two of you to continue rehearsing or—“

"Actually, I have Chemistry — I mean—“ Josie hasn't wished Malivore to swallow her whole so much in her life "—I have class. So, uh..." She turns to face Jed for the first time since they were interrupted and shoots him a smile, asking, "Later? We can, uh, pick back up from... pa-page twenty-three?"

Jed nods, maybe a little too vigorous and frantic. "Yeah, of course!"

"Okay! Good." Josie swings right around, saying, "Bye!" then marches straight towards the door and out of the gym before anyone can stop her.

#legacies #legaciesedit #josie saltzman #jed #jedosie #josie x jed #jed x josie #rowing the rarepair rowboat #myedits*#OKAY BUT I'M INTO THIS CAN YOU TELL #I'm so into this ship now damn it #this is like jedosie + a side of stelena lmao and I loved writing it #I'm technically cheating because this is actually part of a fic I'm writing but shhh #long post #jed tien

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melisusthewee · 3 years

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WIP Wednesday - Let’s Talk Music

Thank you to @cleverblackcat @kittynomsdeplume @noire-pandora and @morganlefaye79 for tagging me!

I don’t have any writing to really offer today. I’ve been trying to work on that Haven fic but unfortunately Aloysius hasn’t been co-operating with me despite all my best efforts to make him speak. I may take a break from writing and pivot towards completing some art memes, but Wednesday just sort of crept up on me and here we are. So instead, I’m sharing something that both is but also isn’t a work in progress?

It’s “in progress” because while I’m happy with where it currently is, I’ve said that about playlists and soundtracks before and later changed them. I’ve worked hard on this and talked several friends’ ears off about songs I’ve heard or artists that seemed to work and thanks to their feedback I think this is a really good one. It’s gone through several edits as well, and may potentially even go through more down the road. So I’m saying this counts for today.

If you give it a listen (and I hope you do because I’m very proud of it so far), I hope you enjoy it and maybe discover an artist you didn’t know before. It clocks in at around 51 minutes and features 13 tracks which span Quinn Trevelyan’s story and important events of the main game through to Trespasser.

If you are interested, below the cut is a list of tracks and a brief blurb or description about who or what they’re meant to represent. I was going to go into things in more depth and talk about how I built it, why I picked the songs I did, and the B-Sides that were left on the cutting room floor, but after realizing I had written nearly 4 pages about just as many songs, I realized it was too much for anyone to read. So below is just a very brief summary and I think that most of the music would speak for itself, but I’m happy to expand more on anything that anyone finds either interesting… or confusing. (There is also Solas content because I knew a few of you love that.)

You have to click on this sentence to go to the playlist because Tumblr’s coding for “Read More” seems to be conflicting with the HTML code to embed a functional playlist. Because of course it is.

Quinn’s tarot card is the Wheel of Fortune as his story is a series of unpredictable highs and lows. What the Maker giveth, He also taketh away. The playlist follows that trend of highs and lows with upbeat songs followed by darker or more mellow ones. Whenever I create a playlist, I try to think of a general tone or sound that I want to be carried through the soundtrack. I want the overall genre or sound to tell the story as much as the individual songs. Because of that, you’ll see artists repeat a couple of times, and when they do it’s always intentional. You’ll also notice that most of the vocalists are male. This was again intentional because this is Quinn’s story, and he’s a man. They are his songs and I wanted the vocals to reflect that.

The Cult of Dionysus - pre-Conclave Quinn

Quinn at his most basic and stereotypical before any character development happens whatsoever - poppish, upbeat, and maybe just a little obnoxious. He smokes, he drinks, he fucks, and nothing else matters.

The Sound of Silence - Aloysius’ Theme

I like Aloysius as a more practical view and examination of Quinn and the cult that grows around him. He affords an opportunity to look at Quinn both as the Herald but also as just a person. He is stoic and mild-mannered, a dutiful soldier, and an excellent foil for Quinn. This is also absolutely a reference to an Arrested Development joke.

Isle of Dogs - Quinn’s true theme

Quinn is a walking disaster constantly falling victim to his own hubris. There’s a morose sort of resentment to the lyrics, of someone who is constantly struggling against the tide. In a lot of ways, this is basically a reaction or push back to all the crap I have put him through.

Providence - “In Hushed Whispers”

There are no Templars here. The first few lines relate a lot to the dismissal the fledgling Inquisition receives from what remains of the Chantry, but the rest of the lyrics are very much about the mages and Fiona’s dealings with the Venatori.

Seven Devils - “In Your Heart Shall Burn

No male vocals in this one to symbolize the change in perspective. This is both a bit of an easy and obvious choice for this story beat. Female vocals for Corypheus might seem strange, but when I created my Warden’s soundtrack I tended to use powerful choruses and female vocals for anything related to Blight, Archdemons, or the darkspawn. I carried that idea over to this as Corypheus is one of the seven Magisters.

Caesar - becoming the Inquisitor

This is a softer and quiet interlude in the wake of the loss of Haven and struggle through the snow. If the previous song marks the end of the first act, this song marks the beginning of the second.

King - “Here Lies the Abyss”

In my written world state, Alistair is both the king and the Grey Warden contact (this goes back to that longform fic I am working on). I suppose it’s a bit unfair because in the end that has a major impact on why Quinn makes the decision he does at Adamant (a rather threatening letter from the Warden helps too). Think of this as a duet between Quinn and Hawke.

My Type - the love interest

“Here Lies the Abyss” was completed first, then a romance triggered, then “Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts”. This is that sort of inbetween interlude and is very much inspired by how I may have flirted with multiple characters a little too much and basically triggered several romances at once. I also went into Quinn’s playthrough having no idea who I was going to romance and just let him shop around. And it came down to a coin flip in the end, so “you have a pulse and you are breathing” is pretty much the only standards he has.

Boheme Supreme - party at Halamshiral

All I have to say is that I love techno swing, every single lyric in this song is perfect, and I want you all to picture Quinn Trevelyan walking into the Winter Palace with his Inner Circle entourage around him, dressed up in that outfit I drew with that peacock feathered cap and having a drink in his hand throughout the entire night’s affair.

Hell’s Coming With Me - “Doom Upon All the World”

This is the climax of the main game, the rematch between Quinn and Corypheus which I have to imagine is more impressive in concept than it was in game. I chose the dialogue option when Corypheus calls Quinn an imposter, “I am the Maker’s chosen” as his final challenge. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that this main is actually very Andrastian. But he is, and the lyrics, “I am the righteous hand of God/And I am the Devil that you forgot/And I told you one day will see/I’ll be back I guarantee/And that Hell’s coming with me” are the perfect declaration.

Paradise - Jaws of Hakkon & The Descent

Another interlude song. If the previous one is triumphant than this one is the beginning of a bad turn. In the interim between the events of the main game and the Exalted Council, things begin to go wrong in little ways. His relationship with Cassandra begins to break down, eventually ending in the two of them having frequent spats and going their separate ways after returning from the Frostback Basin. This song is deceptively sarcastic about how good things are.

I Still Love You, Judas - Solas’ Betrayal

Solas… oh, Solas. Does this song indicate a very complicated and layered relationship between Quinn and Solas? Yes! Have I attempted to unpack any of this? Nope! Have fun with this one!

Tagging for this week: @kita-lavellan @silvanils @nivenor-krosis @drag-on-age @rosella-writes @inquisitoracorn

Battle Cries - Quinn and Cassandra

I saved this one for the very end because it is a story within a story. It is sad and bittersweet, but also not. This entire thing feels to me like a duet between Quinn and Cass on what was good, what could never last, and that it’s all over now but that’s okay. Because “this isn’t a breakup, dear heart, it’s a season finale.” Does this mean that Quinn sounds like Joey Batey when he sings? Sure, why not.

#wip wednesday #oc: quinn trevelyan

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samwrights · 4 years

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I’m sorry but ukai with a breeding kink😳yes PLEASE

I swear I saw another ask that asked for Ukai with an impreg kink

*ahem* anyways—WOW this one was a doozy but holy shit did I have fun writing it. 11k words you guys. 11. K. It is a lot so grab some cocoa or coffee and a blanket because this is a read. It even has to be split into two parts because I hit the fucking text limit, BUT this also means there is no actual smut in this portion. You can find that here.

If you guys need some ear candy, I recommend the following:

Day N Nite (Crooker’s Remix) by Kid Cudi

Pursuit of Happiness (Extended version with Steve Aoki) by Kid Cudi

Breaking Me by Topic

C’Mon by Ke$ha

Flannel by The Cardboard Swords (it has to be sad somewhere)

Magic in the Hamptons by Social House

Fun fact: Ke$ha was actually the primary inspiration for this fic and for DJ!Ukai. God bless her.

Warnings: language, nicotine and alcohol consumption, implied drug use, implied emotionally abusive relationship, breeding/impreg kink, dirty talk, rough sex, risky sex, road head, slight dub-con, praise, multiple smut scenes, 3rd person POV reader-insert—because the word ‘you’ just didn’t seem to fit.

Without further ado, please enjoy the filthy depths of my brain followed by a relatively happy ending that I’ve titled, “Between the Lines’” :-)

“You’ve been more tired lately, and you’re showing up right when practice starts. Is everything okay?” Was the question that Takeda had asked Ukai Keishin that haunted him for years to come. Sure, he had wanted to gain more independence from his parents, wanted to start being more adult-like and take over the mortgage and the bills so his parents could finally rest. At the age of twenty-six, it seemed like a good idea at the time. With four years passing, however, Keishin was so damn tired, but it wasn’t like he could just stop working.

He was still tending to crops every morning, tending to the shop, coaching for Karasuno, but in the four years time, he had adopted one more job on the weekends—Ukai Keishin was a local nightclub DJ. He’d discovered the job opportunity one fateful night that he was out with his friends from the neighborhood association. To this day, he was still unsure of why he was approached with the job, especially considering he didn’t know the first thing about being a DJ, but the woman who had offered him the position had taught him everything he needed to know.

It turned out that he had a natural affinity for the position, seeing as he was still at it years later under the alias Spira. Ukai kept telling himself that he would quit the gig eventually because there was no way he could continue working four jobs—it was inhuman and the money didn’t even really matter to him. Okay, that last one is a lie; his DJ gig has been a substantial contributor to his savings funds to the point where he was even able to afford a newer, larger, (and slightly) used SUV in full compared to his tiny, old yellow beater. Even his mortgage bills were starting to look less daunting with the current cash flow.

Who needs sleep anyway? Ukai survived and thrived off of nicotine and caffeine anyway. Besides, sleep was the last thing on his mind whenever he set foot into the club. It was impossible to think of anything other than the writhing bodies of sweaty, young adults that were already drunk or high or were practically fucking each other with their clothes on. Perhaps that was part of the reason Keishin felt the need to quit this job—he was envious. Envious of the fact that he never got to indulge in his youth like these kids did; he started working and helping his family out right away after college. Sure, he went out here and there, but these twenty-something-year-olds were living their best life, while he was thirty and catering to their whims.

To say he was a bit bitter would be an understatement.

Bitterness aside, however, it did him good to see the youth enjoying exactly that—their youth. They got to do as they pleased between exams and becoming functioning members of society and, while he was jealous, Ukai was proud to be able to contribute to their pleasure.

He’d arrived to the club early, as he often did, to try to grab a drink before he was due for stage time. Ukai was thankful the bartenders knew him enough that he didn’t have to verbally order considering the music was too loud to hear him in the first place. A rum and coke manifests itself in a small, plastic cup that the blonde raises in thanks before weaving and bobbing around the various partygoers. For the most part, he’s successful in dodging the flailing bodies as he mutely notes the very upbeat remix of some female pop artist playing.

But only remotely successful as Keishin attempts to salvage his drink from spilling as he raises it over his head as one of the partygoers is pushed into him. “Hey, careful!” He snaps toward the younger, [hair color]ed woman. She only looks half-offended by the scolding, but otherwise unperturbed. If anything, the dominating expression on her face was confusion.

“Coach Ukai?” He’s surprised to hear both his given name and his title, let alone coming from a club patron, as they all knew him as Spira. Recognition slips his mind entirely—he’s never met this girl in any way that he can remember. Certainly, he would never forget crossing paths with this beauty, even if she was dressed in a similarly juvenile fashion to the other ravers. Tight crop top tee cinched together by a knot at the midriff, with army green high-waisted shorts attempting to cover the bare skin, face painted with makeup, glitter, and sweat; even underneath the garb, she brought forth no recollection. “Uh, d-do you remember me?” It’s a challenge to hear over the music, but she presses forward close enough that her lips are right in Keishin’s ear.

“Can’t say that I do,” he yells right back into hers.

“Karasuno class of twenty-twelve, I was Sugawara’s girlfriend.” Oh.

Oh.

Now he remembered, vaguely, but he doesn’t ever remember her looking like this. The last four years had been incredibly kind to her, in more ways than one. Back in her Karasuno days, [name] had always looked pleasant, for lack of better term. But there was always a lifeless, matted, dull glaze to her eyes that screamed she was searching for something more. While it was still somewhat present, there was a substantial joyous air around her. It looked good on her. However, as much as Ukai wanted to stay and admire, he had to go get set up for the evening. Or rather, that was the excuse he used when he said he would catch her after the show. “[name], did you know who that was?” The woman in question gives a nod, confused at the sudden star struck gawks that her friends held.

“Uh, yeah? My ex-boyfriend’s volleyball coach?”

“No dude, that was the DJ, Spira.”

“What?”

Being the closing act meant a lot of different things to Ukai Keishin. On the negative spectrum, it meant he was going to have to tend to crops as soon as he finished cleaning up his set. That also meant he wasn’t going to get to go to bed until nearly eight in the morning after his shift at the farm. Yet, for him, the positives greatly outweighed the negatives. For Keishin, watching the audience lose themselves in euphoria, albeit probably a drug-induced one, just hit different for him. It was a sense of satisfaction that only came from a select few activities, with coaching volleyball being the other major contributor. There was just something about the way the crowd was overwhelmed and screaming the second underground remixes of old Kid Cudi tracks with his own twists overtook the speakers that granted Keishin a sense of enlightenment.

For him, being a DJ allowed an audience to flow and vibe with the journey of his life and all its constant up and down motions while under the guise of anonymity. As Spira, Ukai opened up the complexity and conflicting feelings of his inner mind and brought it to fruition through his mixes. He felt that in his soul, he’d done his art of storytelling justice. The audience felt it. Hell, his mom at home probably felt it. Perhaps it was one of the main reasons this dingy, hole-in-the-wall club kept asking him to come back every weekend.

His mind wanders further as he clutches an electronic cigarette in his hand, mixing beats on the turntable while taking hits of nicotine in between. He wonders if the girl he had ran into just a few minutes prior had been frequenting here as often as he had. Then, thinking back to what little information she supplied earlier, Ukai’s mind drifts off to the former third-year setter from when he first started coaching. Sugawara was a nice boy with a firm, almost parental, hand that walked dangerously along the lines of being a partner and being a control freak. When it came to his relationship, things had to go his way. And while his girlfriend that came to every tournament was much more outspoken yet easy going, she was opinionated and didn’t shy from confrontation.

Now that the coach had given it more thought, it was a wonder that one tolerated the other at any point in time. If anything, Ukai imagines the two of them would typically be at each other’s throats. From the few times he had interacted with her, she was always more free spirited and couldn’t be weighed down by any one else’s opinion, but seeing her now was different—she was in her element in the dingy, dark club with the glitter on her cheekbones refracting light off of her face. There was laughter and true, unabashed joy on her face. She had a light of her own—like she was ray of sunshine in the center of a storm.

Three hours past midnight when the club closed was always Keishin’s sign to leave, regardless of the countless attempts to attend the after party he’d been invited to. He had to go to work, after all. Sure, a part of him had always been a little green with envy at all the DJs that got to hook up with club patrons after, but after being at this gig for a few years, he figured that the right girl for him would eventually come to him if he continued working on himself. After all, he didn’t want to just have a string of one night stands with a bunch of fresh adults that could barely function after the small drop of Malibu rum—he was too old for that.

“Uh, coach?” [name] felt strange calling him that, but she didn’t feel familiar enough with him to address him otherwise. He was halfway in his car, the blonde ready to leave for the weekend to go back to his regular day-to-day work. “You coming to the after party?” [name] asks when Keishin only looks at her in question, cigarette hanging betwixt his dry lips.

“No, I actually have to go to work right now.”

“Oh,” she doesn’t mean to express her disappointment, but it slips anyway, “guess I’ll catch you later then?”

“Uh, yeah.” A tight lipped hybrid of a pained grin and grimace crosses her wet, gloss covered lips. Without another word, Ukai closes his car door, a little more brusquely than he intended to, before backing out and leaving the young woman to her own devices. His mind wanders once again with him humming absentmindedly to the soft acoustic punk playing over the car radio. His eyes are focused on the passing greenery, the cars that are weaving and bobbing off the freeway—hell he even noticed the way the tendrils of the sun are just barely starting to peak over the horizon because it reminded him of her. A thought he banishes immediately because he feels creepy for even thinking that.

Yet no matter how much scenery flitted through his honey eyes, his mind keeps traveling back to one thing, or rather one person, only.

Goddammit.

On Monday’s practice, Ukai Keishin’s mind is flooding and drowning in memories of his first year as the volleyball club’s coach. It was as if his mind was coercing him to attempt to reach out to the girl that plagued his mind for the last forty-eight hours or so. Though, he had no way of contacting her. Instead, with every step along the wooden floors, he can remember the way she would walk Suga to practice, almost physically seeing her standing in the doorway to kiss the third-year setter goodbye. As if he could see her sitting underneath the third window from the left, quietly doing homework and exchanging small talk and airy laughter with Kiyoko and Daichi. As if he could see the same sunny smile she gave in the audience from Saturday night at the club between the lines of the woodwork in the floorboards.

It was a repeating pattern day in and day out that was beginning to make Ukai question his sanity.

“Hey, man,” his assistant coach and fellow Karasuno alumni, Tsukishima Akiteru, places a hand on his shoulder and looks at him in worry. “Are you okay? You’ve been out of it all week.” In what world did a week translate into three days, the older blonde coach didn’t know.

“I’m fine, just tired,” Keishin all but bites back. He didn’t want to admit his conscious had been running rampant with thoughts of a girl he’d briefly met at a club. It felt almost as disturbing and perverted as it sounded in his mind.

“The team’s worried about you. Why don’t you take an early weekend and get some rest? We’ll see you back on Monday, yeah?” Normally, Ukai would have vehemently refused. However, his circumstances were far from normal and he was gracious for an assistant coach he trusted wholeheartedly to do the work that needed to be done. And so, Ukai heeded Akiteru’s advice and went home before practice even began on Thursday afternoon.

It was slightly disorienting for him to go home and nap, but he was incredibly thankful for the gift. Waking up just before he was technically supposed to start his shift at the shop, Keishin jumps into a cold shower to bring him to life before heading downstairs. A bellowing yawn passes his lips through his teeth as he starts his evening. Maybe his team was right—he really did need a break. Thankfully, he knew that the second the doors to the Sakanoshita were locked, he was done for the evening and wouldn’t need to reawaken until three the following morning. Just a few more hours until then, he thought.

With it being a slower evening as well, Ukai was able to kick his feet up on the counter as he always did, pull open the newspaper from earlier in the morning and casually flip through. Briefly, he considers giving up one of his four jobs because this was something he missed doing. But consideration aside, he was far too in love with the cash flow and the thought of paying off his mortgage to entertain the thought for long. Maybe one day, he would finally sell the Sakanoshita store or quit helping on the farm—

“You still work here?” Huh. Her voice sounds different when it isn’t drowning under the speakers of a nightclub.

“I do own this place, you know.” Ukai snarks at the woman who’d been consuming his brain for the last week. She looks different without glitter reflecting off of her unreal cheekbones or the heavy layers of foundation and eyeshadow. Even more than before, Keishin definitely recognized [name] now. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Shopping,” she snorts as if it were the most obvious thing, “why else would I be at a store?”

“Dunno, maybe you’re just here to see me.” Ukai responds without skipping a beat, turning the page of the paper to play into his guise that he wasn’t the slightest bit surprised at [name]’s presence.

“Uh...actually...” her voice is quiet, prompting the coach to quirk a brow and fold up the paper he was now pretending to read. It wasn’t like he could focus on anything right now outside of the woman standing before him, spearated only by a thin counter. Without talking again, his brown eyes lock with hers, silently goading for her to continue speaking. “I-I just...I don’t know. It was just really weird to see you at the club and then to find out that you’re Spira on top of that. I haven’t seen anyone from Karasuno since I graduated and—“

“Woah, kid, breathe.” Ukai interrupts her before she can continue spewing word vomit at a hundred miles an hour. “So what if I’m Spira? Though, you better not tell anyone that. My stage name is a secret between us, alright?” For a moment she’s quiet, gears turning in her head. The secrecy didn’t make sense to her because, if anything, he should be proud of the fact that he’s rather well known in the underground electronica scene. Or at least, she was in his stead, because [name] would have been proud of Ukai regardless of whatever occupation he held.

She supposed it came with the territory of having an unrequited crush on the coach years ago, that continued well beyond high school and even university, back when she was still dating Sugawara Koushi. It was the reason she had even bothered to come sit in on his practices and partially the reason she would come to his tournaments and matches. Not that she didn’t want to be supportive of her then-boyfriend—it would have been a fight had she not—but seeing the hot older coach was definitely a bonus in her book. “But why?” She offers, not wanting conversation to end despite her not having actually bought anything.

“If the school ever caught wind of me doing that, I could lose my position as the coach. Some shit about Karasuno’s image or whatever.” [name] gives a small nod, fidgeting subconsciously, as an attempt to shake her nerves and anxiety, by sifting through various candy bars that were in front of her before grabbing her favorite. Without a second thought, she peels the wrapper before placing the candy between her lips, the puffy pink skin greatly contrasting the chocolate coating. “Ya gonna pay for that, kid?” Ukai irks, his honey brown eyes steeling over in irritation. The nickname she’s given hits the final nail on the coffin and seals away [name]’s trepidation. Instead, her own sass comes out to join the fun.

“Nah,” she hums playfully, the chocolate-covered wafer cookie crunching between her teeth. “Quit calling me kid, coach. I’m a lady,” the irony isn’t lost on either of them as she speaks with her mouth full.

“Still a kid, kid. And quit calling me coach, I’m not your damn coach.” The familiar, grumpy attitude of his brings [name] back to the Ukai she knew back in high school. In a mix of nostalgia, warmth washes over her as the haughty tone in his voice sent shivers down her spine like it did a few years back.

“Sure thing, coach,” she teases again before tossing the wrapper of the stolen candy bar into the nearest bin. “You’re at the club tomorrow, right?” The question adds a bit of context and confirmation to Ukai—it seems she knew when Spira was performing, meaning she must have been a patron for a decent amount of time. Part of him wonders how she never realized who he was before, another part wonders how he’s never noticed her considering she could make all traffic stop if she stood in the middle of a freeway. At least, that’s what looking at her did to his heart.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe this time, you’ll join us at the after party.” Without another word, [name] pushes herself away from the counter she’d been leaning on while talking to the blonde man. With Akiteru giving him the weekend off, he actually entertained the thought of attending this time. Even if her invitation was rather blasé and indirect, he didn’t see the opportunity of him attending one presenting itself any time soon. He may be old, by his own standard, but there was a unknown allure to the thought of showing up to a wild party with a woman that was so adamant of his attendance.

Or rather, adamant in his mind. Whether she actually wanted his company remained to be seen, but the curiosity was gnawing at him, and was something he would have to unearth sooner rather than later.

Having an entire night, or a day’s worth, of rest was a rather disorienting, yet pleasant feeling for Ukai. After tending to crops and returning home in the early hours of the morning, the blonde coach was able to catch a solid nine hours of sleep before his shift at the Sakanoshita store with another chance to nap before he needed to head to the club. Despite knowing he had the ability to do so before another restless night, his mind felt the need to keep him awake and alert. Even after showering and styling his blonde tresses into their usual mane—mundane acts that usually came to him automatically—he was hyper aware of the slightest unruly flyaways.

Ukai Keishin was nervous.

He didn’t know what to wear or if there was a dress code or if anything he typically wore would be deemed worthy of an after party. A part of him wanted to leave it alone and let him sport his usual white track pants and tight, maroon muscle tank, but that part of him immediately drowns in the ocean of his anxiety. Another string in his brain prompted him to dress up just a little bit to help him look the part—it had nothing to do with impressing a certain club patron, no—he tried to convince himself. A miserable attempt, but still one nonetheless.

Eventually, he settled on crisp, dark-washed jeans that hugged his muscular legs without being suffocating, paired with a vibrant, crimson muscle tee that hugged his biceps all the same. Ukai still felt a little out of place in the attire, as he often had back when he first assumed the alias Spira, but headed out the door of his apartment before his conscious could dispute it.

He was early again, even more so than normal. Desperate for a drink to calm his nerves and replace his blood with liquid courage, Ukai worms his way around to the bar, signaling the attendant for his usual. Rum and coke in hand, the DJ stands off to the side, hiding like a wallflower, while he studied the sweaty, dancing bodies. Did he know why he was looking for her—no. Maybe partially to tell her she owed him for the candy bar, maybe to tell her he was joining in on the after party this time around.

Maybe to just see her.

Keishin banishes the last thought with a shake of his head before skulking off to the attached patio to smoke. Pulling a cigarette from his pack and a lighter from his pocket, the flame torches the end of the filter at the same time the blonde inhales. Forcefully pushing the smoke out past his lips, Ukai takes a hearty sip of his drink until it’s nearly gone. He was going to need something stronger tonight.

“Is it that time already?” The older man’s head snaps to the voice that had been haunting him subconsciously.

Part of him wishes he didn’t look.

As if to play into her question, [name] checks the large, rose gold watch on her right wrist—an incredibly stark contrast to her outfit for the evening. Maybe it was a hunch when Ukai felt that he had been underdressed, as if his intuition knew that she was going to be dressed to the nines in a black skater dress. Even with a modest neckline, the lace cut out detailing on the sides of the dress accentuated her curves impeccably, playing well with the volume of the skirt, while the open back she was sporting dipped dangerously low.

It took everything in Ukai to not throw every milliliter of restraint and inhibition out the window and fuck her right then and there.

Taking a lengthy drag of his cigarette to hold himself back, Keishin inhales deeply, the smoke billowing past his lips emerging densely and grey in color. “I’m a little early—needed an extra drink today.” The man manages to choke out, downing whatever is left in his little plastic cup for added emphasis.

“Need another?” [name] chirps politely; almost too politely as if to deliberately dispute the salacious thoughts flooding the coaches mind.

“I can get—“

“I owe you anyway,” she reminds him, alluding to the candy bar she had eaten without paying for from the previous night. “Pick your poison.”

“Double rum and coke.” He concedes. [name]’s lips twitch upward slightly at the corner before she plucks the empty cup from Ukai’s hand. He doesn’t miss the way the shellac on her nails grazes against his skin, leaving the whispers of contact to run warm. Immediately, the blonde man uses the nearly dead cigarette between his teeth to light a fresh one—heaven or hell knows he needed the nicotine right now.

Given the silence, Keishin takes the opportunity to absorb his surroundings. From the general direction that [name] initially came from, she wasn’t around any of her friends or really anyone that he knew. That was good at least; there wasn’t anybody else that knew of his presence. [name] returns, two clear plastic cups in her hands and surrenders the darker of the two to the man awaiting. “Hold mine for a sec?” Without thinking, Keishin holds his cigarette between his left index and middle fingers, his drink in the same hand, while taking hers. To his surprise, she pulls out her own pack of menthols and a torch lighter, setting the leaves ablaze before taking her obvious vodka cranberry back.

“You took up smoking?” The older of the two asks in surprise, noting the way her lipstick leaves the slightest bit of residue along the brown filter. [name] gives a shrug.

“Surprised you didn’t notice it sooner, coach. I’ve been smoking since second year.” Ukai gives a roll of his eyes at the use of this strange pet name he’s been dubbed by her. But he thinks about it, thinks about how Suga must have felt probably knowing that she did. Thinks how it just added to this strange, sassy yet happy, wild and free exterior she now had. And [name] notices instantly the very same look Ukai had in his face when he was trying to strategize, trying to figure out a way to navigate a conversation with his team about becoming better—she knows what’s coming next. “Yeah, yeah, I know I should quit or whatever. Suga lost that argument a long time ago.”

“Can’t really tell you what to do when I’m just as guilty.” Ukai gives a laugh—one that is embedded with bitterness and envy at the mention of the third-year setter—yet is just as vivacious as he is. A sound entirely different than she’d ever heard leave his lungs before. She likes it.

After finishing his smoke, Keishin gulps down a hefty swig of his drink before patting [name] on the shoulder before announcing his departure. “I’ll see you inside,” the girl, woman, calls out thoughtfully as she gives a small wave with her cigarette filter between her fingers. Ukai doesn’t verbalize the same sentiment. He doesn’t want to slip up and admit he’ll be looking for her.

But it’s painfully obvious that he is when he takes over the booth. Unable to hide the fact that with every chance that he looks into the audience, he’s searching for that black skater dress that hugs her all too perfectly, [hair color] locks swaying as she moves in the crowd. Ukai can’t hide it at all—not behind the turn table or new remixes meant to get the crowd moving.

He can’t hide the urgency he feels to find her outside in the crisp evening air, smoking on the back patio of the club after his set. [name] is talking and laughing with her friends while thin grey smoke billows from her open mouth before her eyes land on him. Some of her friends take notice to the tension and their shared gazes, some of them whispering his alias in excitement. But [name] just smiles knowingly, if not a little cocky, because she can see that urgency, that desperation, that Ukai was trying to hide. “Wait, [name], do you know Spira?” A bystander asked. Clearly, they weren’t present the last time this was brought up.

“Yeah, I may have met him once or twice,” the woman in question snickers as she strides over closer and closer to the aforementioned DJ.

“Cute,” Ukai sneers teasingly at her jab before instinctively reaching for the half-gone cigarette she pulls to her stained lips. At first, she thought he was going to put it out, considering their little conversation from a few hours ago. Instead, the volleyball coach puts the filter to his own lips, noting the damp fabric probably from her freshly applied lipgloss, and takes a drag. It tasted like watermelons and mint.

“Cheeky,” [name] returns, plucking her cancer stick back from the blonde man. While her friends are still behind her murmuring about the familiarity between the two of them, Keishin and [name] are lost in their own little world. “So since your set is over, and considering you’re still here, I’m assuming you’re joining me for the after party? Or do you have to go to work again?”

“I told them I’d be out of town this weekend,” Ukai tries to play it off as nonchalantly as he could, ties to swallow it down his nerves with rum and nicotine. It proves rather difficult considering the coy smile on [name]’s face is wearing and cracking through his resolve rather quickly. But at least, to him, he could confirm his mind was not playing tricks on him and [name] was just as adamant about his attendance as he initially thought. Even more so with her next statement.

“Cool. Your car or mine?” It took him a minute to process her words even—lust thickening and constricting the flow to his brain at the vague question. Ukai was getting far too ahead of himself, but goddammit how could he focus when the fabric of her skirt hit her mid-thigh and framed her like a Venetian goddess—“I don’t mind driving there.” She adds to coax him away from his silence.

“Nah, I got it. We’ll take mine.”

“Lead the way,” [name] chimes sweetly as she wraps an arm around the coach’s forearm. The physical touch is everything he’s been fantasizing about for the last few days—hellfire and brimstone and sunlight and goddammit why did he wear jeans that were only getting tighter and tighter?

Ukai opens the passenger door to his SUV, supporting the woman as she clambered in cautiously so as not to stumble from her heels. Getting settled in, the coach surrenders his unlocked phone to allow her the entirety of his music library. The irony of the DJ surrendering DJ rights to the passenger was not lost on either of them. Much to his surprise, [name] put on soft acoustic punk as he usually did on his way home from the club. The kind of softness one would turn on to accompany the fragile pitter-patter of rain against the windshield. “Cardboard Swords?” Ukai asks in surprise, more than familiar with the band.

“Flannel is a favorite of mine. I’m kind of surprised it’s in your library.” She adds after she begins directing him to this evening’s party location. From the corner of his eyes, he can see the way her full lips are moving along each word with expertise. He sees the way her [eye color] orbs soften slightly and he can tell this song hits home for her.

She’ll never say why—she’ll never tell him this was the song that helped her move on from Sugawara Koushi while restoring her inner peace.

But Keishin is no fool. He can tell that this is physically hurting her—crushing her soul into the leather seat of his car and, instinctually, he wraps a large hand around hers that’s resting in her lap. “I came out tonight to have fun with you, so don’t you go getting sad on me.” He means each word with innocent intent, yet he cannot ignore the almost hidden, salacious drip to each syllable and neither can she. How could she when his touch sent volts of electricity through her skin?

“Right, right,” she says in a conceding tone, switching the audio to something much more upbeat and a little flirty. “Why did you agree to go out tonight?” If Ukai had an answer, then it died on his lips as he let go of [name]’s hand to reach for another cigarette. The process of lighting the tube, inhaling, and exhaling bought him an extra minute to come up with an excuse; her doing the same giving him another thirty seconds.

“I don’t know.” It’s a blatant lie—a lie that [name] believes all too easily—but Ukai can’t bring himself to admit the truth. He can’t admit out loud that she’s the only thing that’s been on his mind all week or that he jumped at the opportunity, created one even, to be able to have a one-on-one moment with her. Keishin can’t admit that he can tell there are intricate webs spun in her mind and that all he wants to do is untangle them one by one.

And he certainly can’t tell her that even the mere sight of her sends his brain into overdrive and all he wants to do is repeatedly fill her over and over with his seed until she is entirely his, inside and out in mind, body, and soul. There was no way in the nine circles of hell that Ukai Keishin was going to admit to his sinful thoughts.

“It’s just up here.” [name] points with gaunt fingers, cigarette between them as her voice is half choked from inhaling her own smoke. Mirroring the man’s actions earlier, she indulged in her own nicotine habit to quell the budding disappointment from Ukai’s lackluster response. They drove up a slight winding hill and as the trees pass by, the itch for her truth and her history was gnawing at him. He wanted to know why this rambunctious party girl invited him all week to these elusive after parties. Why Flannel ate away at her insides like it did his. Why did her and Sugawara breakup?

But he decides against it for the moment.

“Where are we?” Ukai asks. There’s cars all lining the sides of the road of varying worth—he felt even more out of place than normal with his older SUV, even if it was an upgrade for him, considering the large number of luxury vehicles.

“Bevelle’s house.” [name] says simply, pointing to an empty space in the streets as she throws the butt of her cigarette into the road. The casual way she name drops the owner of the club makes him gawk, catching flies in his mouth had there been any at the hour. With a satisfied, cheesy grin, she hops out of her seat and walks in the grass to meet Ukai on the other side as he clambers out of the vehicle as well. In familiarity, she grips into his forearm once again as they walk towards the forest mansion.

Keishin wasn’t sure what to expect when the two of them walked in, but a home full of people screaming his pseudonym and her name was not on that list. Younger hordes had surrounded [name], greeting her warmly and telling her how glad they were to see her again for the evening. Others were approaching Ukai, telling them how rare and a momentous occasion that the infamous artist Spira was amongst their midst.

“Glad to see you could join us, Spira.” His boss and club owner, Bevelle, approaches the mismatched couple. Bevelle was an alias used by the middle aged woman, her real name unknown to those that didn’t know her know her, and was once upon a time her stage name. While she had chosen a quiet location in the Miyagi prefecture, Bevelle was quite known in the underground scene. Granted, Ukai didn’t know any of that when he’d taken the job. If anything, it was all thanks to her that he was able to learn for his own success as well as granting him the opportunity to learn in the first place. “Good to see you too, trouble.” Bevelle affectionately goes to muss at [name]’s hair, to which she only replies with a cheeky grin.

“How do you know Bevelle?” Ukai presses his lips towards the ear of the woman still hanging onto him as she expertly leads the way to the kitchen. The car ride left her feeling slightly uncomfortable, ashamed even though she would never admit to that, and she knew she definitely needed a drink after it. Part of her was heavily rebuking herself for trying to pry into his mind by asking why he came along, even more so when she put on the one song that shattered her heart every time she heard it. It just excited her that he had it in his library, that he even knew who The Cardboard Swords were, and that he enjoyed the same obscure taste in music as much as she did.

“She’s a close family friend!” The chirp that [name] gives isn’t entirely convincing, like she isn’t telling the truth. Regardless, Ukai washes down his doubt with the beer he was handed, figuring she probably had her reasons. And as soon as the plastic is in each of their hands, [name] downs the contents immediately, hoping to drown out the nerves ebbing from her stomach with vodka. She should have been ecstatic—her old high school crush, her unrequited crush, was here with her, drinking side by side but she can’t help but feel the tension between them—sexual or otherwise.

Just as the two of them down their second round, a piercing voice cuts through the thicket of the masses, calling out her name and capturing her attention. “It’s your song! Come on!” A shrug and a smile crosses [name]’s features as she’s all but dragged away to a different part of the mansion. Much to his surprise, she grabbed onto Keishin to drag him along as well.

The two of them are presented with a myriad of sweaty, rolling bodies—much more gone than Ukai had ever seen at the club itself. It was oddly...sensual, if it could be called that, to see the fluid movements between party goers. Sensual, intimate, strange—all of them could be used interchangeably at this moment.

[name] is dancing with another woman, mouthing all of the words to the current pop song while bobbing and jumping around excitedly before her eyes lock on his. She’s in her element now. All sunshine and smiles like Ukai had seen from on occasion from years ago or most recently at the club, but they’re directed at him for once as she pulls him closer onto the dance floor. The taunting beats and repetitive call of “come on” and the way [name] loosely wraps her arms around his neck as she dances brings Ukai to the realization that this was the end of the line.

The end of the line, because Keishin can’t hold himself back anymore.

Not with the way her hips are grinding against is and she’s laughing warmly and heartily at his slight discomfort and her teeth are glittering off the lights in the dark room like stars in the night sky. Not with the way her head is thrown back and her dress drops low enough to flaunt the expanse of bare skin of her neck and collar bones that are just begging him to sink his teeth in. Not with the way her [eye color]ed orbs are locked with his as she sings along with the music, oddly enough alluding to some form of confession of her feelings.

He can’t fucking take it anymore.

The large hands he has on her hips move just under her arms to hoist her up, [name] instinctively wrapping her legs around his waist to keep her balance. Their eyes are locked, honed in on each other with the rest of the party melting into the background. With her deepest, most wild high school fantasy driving her actions, she grins. “Hi,” is all she says before Ukai cranes his neck back to cover her lips with his.

His kiss is everything she imagined it would be after years of pining. The smell and taste of smoke and wood floods her senses as his tongue laps at the watermelon lip gloss on her bottom lip before seeking refuge within her mouth. His hands, now wrapped around her thighs give intermittent squeezes, either to keep them grounded in reality or just because he needs something to clutch at—she’s unsure of which. In response, her manicured fingernails tangle into his messy blonde locks. Their kiss pours out their desperation, laying it all out on the table for the both of them to see clear as day.

The only thing that prompts them to break apart is the ending of the song.

“You wanna get out of here?” Ukai asks as he tenderly puts [name] back on the ground. As if he weren’t just making out with her moments ago, the motion is delicate and gingerly and almost loving.

“Not yet,” there’s a knowing, smug lilt in her voice as she turns on her heel and throw herself back into the throng of party people. Or rather, attempts. While she’s attempting to flee, Keishin snatches her wrist, pulling her closer until their chests are flush against each other.

“Nuh uh,” the blonde man tuts, “you’ve been asking me to join you at a party all week, now here I am. The hell makes you think you’re leaving my side tonight?” [name]’s grin only grows wider.

“I’ve waited for years for this opportunity, coach, so if you think I’m not gonna have fun with it, you’re dead wrong.” The word ‘years’ constricts the man’s heart—forces his pupils to blow into dilation with her modest, yet blunt confession.

“Years?”

“Years,” she repeats, “ever since that first practice you stumbled into the Karasuno gym as the temporary coach. Why do you think I came to every single exhibition match and tournament? Or came to study and do homework while you guys had practice?” This girl was grinding at every steel line of self-control that was left in Ukai’s body because every word spilling past her lips added an additional ten volts to the sexual tension between them.

“We’re leaving.” He bites out despite the delicate tone. Wrapping his hand around hers once again, Keishin tugs her along time dodge the party goers that threw the two of them curious glances, wondering why they were quick to leave shortly after their arrival. Just to tease him further, [name] almost wants to offer a rebuttal and tell him that they should stay longer and enjoy the show. However, she knows she’s done enough waiting and if he was taking her home, she wasn’t going to argue.

While urgency and desperation was their game, Keishin didn’t cut corners when it came to presenting himself as a gentleman as he helped [name] back into the car. Hormones be damned—he was still going to help a lady into the passengers seat. “You never did tell me why you finally agreed to come out tonight.” She says quietly, as if the two of them hadn’t been making out and dry humping a few minutes prior. “And it’s clearly not because you knew I had a crush on you all throughout third year—“

“Don’t act like you’re the only one with feelings in this.” Ukai grits out, speeding much faster back home than he did on the way to Bevelle’s house. Paying that no mind, [name]’s ears perk up at his own wayward confession. When she asked for clarity, a rumbling groan shakes his chest as he patted down his pockets in search for his nicotine sticks. “I didn’t recognize you the first night at the club because you look different now. Happiness looks good on you.”

“Happiness?” She echos confusedly, turning to face Ukai fully after lighting her own cigarette.

“You used to always look content back then—just barely content and nothing more. And I can’t stop thinking back to those days because you’re this ball of sunshine, kid, and I can’t stop wondering what the hell Suga did to you to dim your shine that badly. I haven’t stopped thinking about you all week.”

[name] is quiet for a moment at his own rendition, his own version, of a confession and she’s stunned. And she can’t tell if she wants to cry or kiss him because this is not that way she ever fantasized this conversation going. It was going better than she dreamed. Better, because the words that Ukai is saying adds an entirely new layer to his amped up personality—he wasn’t just the sexy volleyball coach that she used to pine over. He was a person with deep rooted feelings for justice in the sense of wanting to understand how someone could inflict damage to the innocent and he wanted to rectify said injustices. He wanted to know how someone like Suga could try to dampen her sunlight instead of allowing her to thrive and bloom.

She wants to kiss him, she decides, but since he’s driving, she settles for placing a chaste one on the corner of his mouth. “Serves you right,” she jokes when she pulls away, “it’s been a long four years for me. It’s your turn to suffer.”

“Trust me, this car ride is torture enough.”

[ next ]

#haikyu!!#haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu oneshot #ukai keishin #haikyuu ukai #hq ukai #ukai x reader #ukai scenario #keishin ukai x reader #dj!au #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara imagine #sugawara koushi #sugawara x reader #nsfhq

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yurimother · 5 years

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LGBTQ Manga Review - Killing Me!

Yuri being employed for comedic effect is nothing new. Frequently this is done by having one character irresistibly attracted to another female and make inappropriate advances on her for laughs. Yuri manga Killing Me puts a spin on this trope by having the other girl like the pursuer back. The yuri is front and center in this hilarious romantic manga. Of course, love may have to wait for a little bit, the protagonists are busy trying to kill each other.

Killing Me by Akiyama centers on vampire hunter Saki Fujimiya and her relationship with Miyoko Kujou, who is both her classmate and the vampire she is tasked with killing. The two of them live double lives, in the classroom Saki is poised and popular while Miyoko is constantly flirting with her and professing her love, making her the only person that can get under Saki’s skin. However, at night and in the moments between classes, they engage in brutal conflicts. Saki attempts to kill Miyoko who, just as she does in school, flirts and toys with the hunter.

The dynamic of school life and combat between the two girls is incredibly well executed and hilarious. I openly laughed numerous times at their misadventures and battles. The two have a lot of chemistry and the dialogue of the outlandish combat scenarios is well written. However, the most interesting aspect of the conflict between the two is that, no matter how many times she has the opportunity to, Saki does not kill Miyoko.

Saki struggles to comprehend her feelings and relationship with Miyoko through the manga. Yes, she attacks her with intent to kill frequently, but, she is never able to go through with it. She begins to display affect towards Miyoko, such as when the vampire attempts to drink someone else's blood and Saki gets jealous. On more than one occasion they socialize outside of class or battle, even going shopping together. There is a constant back and forth conflict in Saki between her duty as a hunter to kill Miyoko and her feelings for the vampire. This conflict is excellently portrayed with constant rationalization and brilliantly illustrated confusion on Saki’s part. Her feelings and their relationship progress excellently throughout the manga, which is a great plus, considering that it easily could have just relied on replaying the same gag of the two fighting without either growing or the plot advancing.

I do have some complaints about the story, mainly in its resolution. Saki never seems to sort out her feelings entirely. Although she does come to accept her love for Miyoko, she does not give up her resolve to murder the girl. This feels incomplete, which is a shame considering that the rest of the plot is so engaging and builds on the girls’ dynamics incredibly well. However, at the end of the day, the ending is not bad, just disappointing.

The characters of Killing Me are not quite as good as the story. As previously mentioned, Saki has some fantastic and riveting inner conflict about her relationship with Miyoko. She also undergoes emotional growth throughout the volume as she struggles with her feelings about their relationship. However, a bit too often she displays characteristics of the typical “tsundere” characters. This has been done so many times before far better. These instances are played for some of the cheapest laughs the volume has to offer.

Unlike Saki, Miyoko does not have much of an emotional or character arc. She remains the same flirtatious, playful, and two-dimensional character throughout Killing Me. When compared to Saki the contrast is so striking that sometimes Miyoko feels like more of a prop or gag for the hunter’s arc, rather than a character. This can occasionally mean that the manga becomes less about their relationship and more about the individual character. However, the scenes in which Miyoko and Saki are together and interacting as equals the series is at its best. The chemistry between the two girls sells the series’ laughs and its romance.

Akiyama’s art is at its best during the fight scenes of Killing me. Although brief, these scenes are as dynamic and detailed as the best shonen manga. Outside of battle, the art is still high quality. I appreciate how background characters and details make the world of the series feel full. However, I am put off by the awkward faces in the manga, especially the inconsistent spacing of the eyes. Too often they are far too wide, especially when shown straight on. Fortunately, the characters are usually shown from the side or at angles which make the awkward eyes far less noticeable. The manga also includes several amazing color illustrations by Akiyama and several prominent guest artists at the beginning and end of the volume. These are a wonderful addition and I am even considering buying the digital release just to grab a few of them as wallpapers for my smartphone.

While I first expected the yuri elements of Killing Me to consist mostly of service and humor, there is a real romantic and sexual connection between the characters. Miyoko’s constant exclamations of love initially got on my nerves almost as much they did Saki’s, but the series later won me over with the flirtations between the girls. The few moments when Saki makes advances on Miyoko, a change from the girls’ usual dynamic, are especially riviting. Saki is also territorial of Miyoko, which, while off-putting in a real relationship, can be adorable in the comedic confines of the fantasy. While the girls do express their affection for each other repeatedly in their own, occasionally homicidal, way, there is no defined relationship between the two. While it would have been nice to see a hunter and vampire declare themselves dating, readers will have to be satisfied with their continued game of cat and mouse as the core of their romance.

Killing Me has a fair amount of lewd content in it. There is some light service such as kissing, hugging, and seductively leaning over each other while gazing into uncomfortably spaced eyes. However, it is not afraid to get a bit heavier at times, such as when Saki throws Miyoko onto a bed and offers the vampire her blood... and cleavage. Fortunately, there is a lack of weirdly shaped free-floating boobs flying around the pages and even the more scandalous outfits, such as the Gothic dress Miyoko fights in, are realistic and not too gross.

Killing Me is a fantastically funny manga with a great setting and an engaging plot. Vampire hunter Saki and vampire Miyoko have a fantastic dynamic that brings laughs and some great character moments. Occasionally the series blunders as it tries to balance its main characters and struggles to find a real conclusion. However, the spicy romance and fun to be had more than make Killing Me worth checking out. Hunters, vampires, and yuri fans alike will adore Akiyama’s work.

You can purchase Killing Me! digitally and in paperback today: https://amzn.to/2Z5uPGg

Ratings: Story – 8 Characters – 6 Art – 7 LGBTQ – 3 Lewd – 4 Final – 7

Review copy provided by @yenpress

#yuri #reviews #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#manga #vampires #girls love #wlw #gay #queer #anime #comic #read #literature #killing me #yen press #gl

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beewitched-blr · 5 years

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Donation Deity Reading for @nonverbalactually

Deities who showed interest:

The Moirai

Aphrodite

Persephone

Soteria

Dionysus

Aether

Thanatos

Eileithyia

To begin a connection with the The Moirai, it’s important for you to connect with those around you. Ground yourself in this moment and focus on togetherness. Let go of negativity and conflict and embrace unity. There are people around you that will love and support you; you just need to give them a chance. Look towards the future with bright and optimistic eyes. Let go of any pessimism and work to embrace the unknown instead of fear it. Life is full of surprises and you wont be able to see them all coming, but if you stay grounded and prepared to follow your true path with hope, you wont need to worry about them. There is so much ahead of you to look forward to, don’t shut people out of that.

The Moirai warn not to get too carried away when it comes to your ideas. It’s important that you hear others out and listen to all sides of a story. It could potentially be quite a toxic environment if you don’t take the time to regroup with yourself and take a moment. Think about what it is that you want or whatever the scenario is and then take a moment to think of the best way to approach it. It’s important that you don’t just commit to your way only. Hear other people out and focus on a way to bring everyone’s ideas together. It’s important that your current focus is on togetherness and healing not fighting or blocking paths. Meditate, listen to yourself, and listen to others. Compromise (on all parts) can sometimes save things more than you realise.

From a connection with The Moirai, there will be a lot of testing times for you spiritually. There is nothing wrong with the idea of pursuing this connection however! You just need to trust in yourself, your moral grounding and your faith. You must take on all of the lessons being taught here with an open mind. It’s also important that you really put a lot of energy and soul into this connection. This connection would be a lot more mature and responsible than perhaps others in your life and that’s a good thing. You need that balance and this is a great place to find that for yourself. There are so many learning opportunities for you here to grow as a person. With hard work, this connection looks very promising!

To begin a connection with Aphrodite, you must wake up and take charge of your situation and life path right now. Take note from Aphrodite and work on truly loving and believing in yourself, and how you can help others with this. There is definitely a strong focus on you helping others by just being there for them and embodying the love and gracefulness that Aphrodite herself possesses. Step outside of your comfort zone and make an effort to meet new people. It seems as though you’re subconsciously stopping yourself from doing this by putting up walls around yourself. Well, it’s time for those walls to come down! Compliment a stranger, get involved in group activities (especially those that focus on something you love), treat yourself with the respect you deserve and spread that kindness to others. You have a big heart and it’s okay to show that!

Aphrodite warns that you must work on balancing your emotions as to not overwhelm yourself. It seems as though you feel very deeply and you must understand that this is not a bad thing. You can be a wonderful friend for those around you but just as important, you can be a wonderful person for yourself. Work on your confidence and the way it takes over your outlook on life in general. It’s important that you understand your very wide emotional range and how to make sure that it is balanced rather than tipping in one direction and then suddenly the next. Take a moment to calm yourself, speak to yourself, understand and accept what it is that your soul yearns for. A fun exercise that could definitely help with this is not just the standard mediation but taking a small amount of time out each day to just ground yourself and reflect on where you are in life and how you want to keep moving towards your future.

From a connection with Aphrodite you actually gain a lot of incredibly important life lessons. Lessons that you don’t seem to except from this connection. Aphrodite is going to help you build up some of that confidence and self-worth which is incredibly important for you. Patience, understanding and belief are all big themes here. Something rather interesting is that Aphrodite seems eager to encourage and help you understand your passions, interests and skills. You have so much potential and with the help of this connection, you will start sharpening your skills without even noticing until you are able to face the world with your head held high. There is so much within you and this connection will just bring out the best in you. This is definitely a positive and encouraged path for you to take.

To begin a connection with Persephone a clean slate and new perspective are both encouraged. Don’t let any sort of previous ideas of what this connection could be like linger and don’t compare it to anything else. It’s important that you realise how different things truly are. Instead of letting things play out in your head before they happen, just trust the process. Persephone also encourages you to get creative and work on sharing your talents with others, no matter what that entails for you. It’s time for you to take charge and open up to not just those around you but to open up to yourself! Take this as a transition period where you are able to truly start discovering yourself and where you’re headed. Look towards the future, not the past.

Persephone warns that you are going to have to deal with responsibility and understand that sometimes not everything in life is fair. There are always multiple sides to a story. However, you must learn to be more confident in your own voice and opinions. Take some time to yourself to reflect on who you are as a person and what you believe in. Instead of allowing these things to all swamp you at once, take a breath and focus on one thing at a time. You may be an overly ambitious person who is prone to ignoring warning signs that results in you slightly neglecting caring for your headspace because of this (even if it’s something you haven’t noticed). It’s important that this changes. You can still have as many hopes and dreams as you’d like, but don’t feel the need to put everything on a timer. Live your life organically! Slow down and don’t rush things. You can achieve what you want but you need to ground yourself first. Ask yourself what you truly value and what you want for your life; what do you want to be more involved in, for example. It’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out right now and it’s okay if you don’t have yourself completely figured out yet. There is a long journey ahead of you and as long as you take time to care for yourself, all will be well.

From a connection with Persephone there is an emphasis on celebration and coming together with those around you. This connection brings such a fresh slate for you and that might be something you feel like you need. If you follow your intuition you will be lead down the right path and experience such joyous occasions. New opportunities in life, new faces in your life, and a new successful outlook on your life and where it’s potentially headed. You may find that you actually enjoy these new events and such more than you initially think you will. You may be holding onto the past (subconsciously or otherwise) and whilst it is nice to reflect on the past from time to time, it’s important that it doesn’t lead to you being almost afraid of what’s ahead of you. It seems as though a weight is lifted off your shoulders during this connection and there is just an overwhelming sensation of pure joyous freedom. This looks like an excellent connection.

To begin a connection with Thanatos, look at the opportunities that already surround you. Chase what you want. Let go of whatever is holding you back and start listening to your inner curiosity and intuition in general. Follow your heart and let it lead you to wondrous places. Of course there will always be difficulties and “road-blocks” in life but if you truly trust in yourself and the world, everything will work out for you in this regard. This connection seems quite focused on you embracing that deeper and more vulnerable side of yourself but also diving into your psyche and taking time to understand and learn from previous experiences as well as current ones. Wisdom is also a big thing here and it seems as though working together, this is something that you will not only gain but learn to love pursuing. You may find yourself interested in psychological subjects that you may not have been previously.

Thanatos warns not to become too focused on any struggles that you may have and not to be too harsh on yourself. Look at where you are and compare it to where you were. You are making progress even when it doesn’t feel like it. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in negative emotions or you may become stuck in this zone leaving you stagnate. Give yourself proper time to rest and make sure you’re keeping up with your needs but keep going! You are passionate and strong and deep down you know that. Use this to your advantage and you will find the light that you’re looking for. Don’t give up and don’t give in! Realise that you are a multifaceted human with strengths and weaknesses. It’s okay to accept that and to embrace it. You will find that with this more understanding mindset, you end up getting things done in a much brighter way than previously.

From a connection with Thanatos, you may actually find yourself at a little bit of a crossroads. It’s important that you don’t just let this happen and refuse to move past it. Thanatos is showing you how to trust your intuition and yourself in general. There are no wrong answers in life. If you personally feel as though you are not ready for this kind of thing in your life right now, maybe hold back on pursuing this connection. However, do not think that this is a negative sign! Rather, it is actually just a push out of your comfort zone and you will be ready at one stage or another, it’s completely up to you when you feel this time is right. It may seem a little scary at first but the universe believes in you.

Extra Card Pulled:

The deities recognise the balance that is needed in your life. They also encourage you to start connecting with others more and using your natural empathy to help people in any way you possibly can. You are generous and honest and this shows and is greatly appreciated by all. Keep shining your light; for both yourself and for others.

Notes:

Pull towards the past (left side)

Love and War

Leaving a negative mindset behind

Allowing indulgence

Togetherness

A particular gemstone that has emotional significance?

Self belief

Patience

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quicktelling-blog · 5 years

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Amira’s Vanished Hustle, Perceptions of Missed Opportunities, and What Everyone Should Consider About the Story So Far

[deep dive under the cut]

Some messages I got over the weekend were along the lines of: “No Damira again on Friday whew you must be heartbroken huh?” But, y’all, I wasn’t surprised. And to be completely honest, my reaction on Friday was very different from the ones I saw in the tag. Yeah, I was super happy for the adorable Amira and I was also side-eying the glaring absence of Carlos’s besties at his own housewarming -- but my main thought after the clip was: “LOL OH SHIT HERE WE GO.” Because in my mind Friday was an ENORMOUS RED FLAG that the only substantial thing left to do in Amira’s story arc is the cute Bon Voyage party to send her off on her dream trip. Even before this big POV shift happened, Druck hadn’t given us any reason to expect much more than that in her remaining plot, and I’ll elaborate on that here.

I don’t wanna jump to the conclusion that Druck can’t possibly stick the landing, because hey, they might! We have no clear idea what will happen between now and the final goodbye party, so maybe good things are coming that will subvert all of our worst imaginings! But I feel like this is a hinge point in the season to do a little reassessing of expectations... and to come clean about one big reason why I’ve mostly spoken superficially about this season up until now.

The very first red flag, for me, was when I realized Druck was planning to basically pretend Amira never had a job. That oversight might not seem like a big deal to most, and it’s not like her job was the first thing Druck ever made disappear unceremoniously (remember when Leonie and Sara had other close girl friends? lol) but to me it was a signal that my expectations for Amira’s story (based on her previous strong characterization) had maybe been too high. And I immediately felt a bit cheated.

Amira was already so fleshed out coming into her season. She was demanding, quick-witted, and nurturing. She was fiercely protective of her friends, and even more fiercely ambitious, with a willingness to work harder than anyone to get ahead in life. She was sunny but tough-shelled, with a well-established resistance to trusting any men. And, loving her as much as I do, I felt strongly that she deserved to have plenty of brand new story elements that reflected all those things. To have her own story shaped around her, rather than she herself being reshaped to fit Sana’s story.

But then it was finally her turn to shine, in a Summer season, when it would make perfect sense for her to be on a job grind to earn cash for her trip, and... she’s not working? Huh? She managed to work all through a tough school year, but not her free summer vacation? Why? Because of Druck’s low budget? Because they lacked cohesion in the writing process? Some combination of the two? Yikes. Who knows. But suddenly, nonsensically, they had flushed away the perfect framing to showcase her work ethic, her daily perseverance, and her varied interactions (good and bad) with lots of strange customers around Berlin.

It felt like a bad omen to me somehow. Which wasn’t a great mindset to start the season with. And that was the beginning of me trying very, very hard not to be confused and salty about every little thing I began to perceive as missed opportunities to give Amira a new kind of substance in her story.

For example: While David, Matteo, and Sam began having fun off-screen, working on an bold alien movie, Amira inexplicably had no involvement. She kinda scoffed at the idea when it came up on-screen, then immediately lost interest in the conversation because her man was texting. Fair enough, right? That scene was moving her story forward while generously giving a little shoutout to the meta insta storyline, right? The problem is: the off-screen story ended up seeming much more interesting than watching Amira chilling on her own texting a bunch, and we weren’t even given a reason for her to not be part of it after the whole crew was invited to join in. Imagine if we had followed her onto a shitty little makeshift movie set and seen her reacting to the chaos and strangeness of it. Imagine her finding a resourceful solution to a production hiccup or mediating a creative disagreement while trying to hide her own inner turmoil from her friends. And imagine her having an extremely important conversation with David (and/or Matteo and/or Sam) about the film’s deeper themes of alienation and otherness that they can both sadly relate to.

That’s just one weirdly specific scenario, but there are sooo many other ways I fantasized about Amira bonding with her friends (particularly the ones who aren’t cishet white kids or brand new characters). Talking with one or more of them about what it means to be dangerously marginalized, or to be afraid of letting someone get close to you, or to feel torn in two different directions in life. Maybe something like that could still happen before the season ends, but I’m not counting on it. And I think the time has passed for it to have the biggest impact. It could’ve been amazing (and really narratively useful!) if it happened before the resolution of Amira’s brief conflicts with Kiki, Erva, and Mohammed. We saw a lot of scenes with her looking angry and sad, but we weren’t really privy to much of her thought process during all that reflection, so it felt uncomfortably unearned when problems she once saw as insurmountable were shortly waved aside. I would’ve really appreciated even a short conversation with some good change-of-heart exposition.

And while other people were cheering about all the controversial Sana season conflicts being blessedly truncated or completely stripped away, the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking: “Okay, awesome, but what are they gonna replace that storyline with? Nothing?” And, for the most part, that seemed to be true.

But the problem clearly wasn’t limited to a shortage of well-integrated story threads with Amira at their center. It was arguably also a failure to capitalize on the stories they did use. Instead of getting to watch the emotional fight with her mother about punching someone, and witnessing Amira faced with the threat of losing Australia, we only heard about the drama afterward. Just like we only heard about her family’s religious holiday together. Just like we only got a few texts between Amira and Jonas about the refugee event. And just like how, as I sat typing this, Amira’s mother re-blessed the trip off-screen. On and on goes the list of examples of this unfortunate tell-don’t-show approach, and I’m sure a lot of it can be attributed to low budget and tricky cast scheduling, but the time limit excuse probably doesn’t apply if Amira’s main plot really has been efficiently pared down to 7 episodes.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to reserve final judgment on the season until the credits roll, and there are plenty of good things to say about it in the meantime. Yes, it’s been lovely to see so many gorgeous shots of Tua praying, and boxing, and expressing everything from attraction to anguish to helpless rage. Yes, she and Hassan both did some really strong work selling the magnetic pull between their characters, even in the face of (what I consider to be) an underdeveloped narrative that didn’t totally sell me on the relationship overall. Yes, it was wonderful to have some aesthetically pleasing scenes of the girl squad loving and supporting each other, even if they mostly talked about boys the way Amira hoped they wouldn’t. And obviously just having a story about a strong, kind, devoted hijabi girl is vitally important visibility. So I really haven’t wanted to say anything negative in the face of all that...

... but now I have to say: if you’re feeling cheated and mad about the POV shift, then take some time to consider what else specifically you think should’ve happened to Amira before we entered this resolution phase of her story. It seemed like most people were perfectly happy for her to not face any complex conflict, and not have any lingering hardship to dramatically and triumphantly overcome. Every obstacle getting a relatively swift and easy solution felt underbaked to me, but it was a big relief and source of praise for most people in the tags right up until Amira disappeared from clips. So: in hindsight, how would you have added not just length, but also more compelling drama and greater social impact to her story, so that the extra length felt well-used? It’s really worth thinking and talking about that, even if you’re hesitant to voice any criticism of Amira’s part of the story (even after the season ends, and even if it’s totally constructive) -- because thinking and talking about it is how we’ll get that kind of richer, fuller story in the future.

#druck #amira thalia mahmood #representation #storytelling #amira baby i love you and you deserve the world okay #that's been at the core of my issues all season

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rakuyokoyo · 5 years

Text

Heroes:Rising Notes - Deku and Kacchan

My BNHA story, TBE, is currently on hold. However, I am planning on releasing a Heroes:Rising oneshot on FanFiction.net with my OC incorporated in it.

It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve last seen the movie but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it so I’m going to write a series of notes + reviews on Tumblr, as well as an eventual oneshot (story acronym will be T:B).

[MAJOR SPOILERS—this post will spoil the entire movie!]

I don’t ship BakuDeku in BNHA (or any other pair except KamiJiro) but Heroes:Rising will definitely be a treat for those who do and for those like me who simply love their rivalry.

—

[Climax Transcript] (note: I’ve never learned Japanese so the translations may not be 100% accurate).

B: Bakugo, D: Deku, YB: Younger Bakugo, YD: Younger Deku, N: Nine

B: “This will be the end of your dreams.” D: “That’s fine. There’s no other choice. And even if it’s All Might, he would say that it’s okay [to pass down One for All] if it’s you. ...If it’s you, who shared the secret with me... if it’s you who’s always admired the same person as me... if it’s you—”

YB: “All Might really is cool!” YD: “He’s a really... cool hero!”

YB: “No matter how bad of a pinch, in the end he always—” B: “—I will win!” YD: “No matter how many people are in need of help... with a smile—” D: “I will save!”

N: “Don’t make me laugh!” D: “Detroit... smash!” N: “What... what is that power?! Don’t stand in my path!” D: “Let’s go, Kacchan!” B: “Huh? Don’t order me around!”

[Fight continues]

D: “This will be my final... my final... SMASH!”

D: Goodbye... One for All... thank you.

This is pretty bare-boned considering the sakuga, pacing, and soundtrack makes these lines quite epic, but I really wanted to break down the first few lines as well as Deku’s last inner monologue.

—

‘Deku’ and ‘Kacchan’: There’s been a lot of rumours on Twitter/Tumblr on what Bakugo says to Deku with some of it blown way out of proportion or just simply untrue (though I have heard that the novelization of the script may be more BakuDeku heavy. I do have the book with me but there’s no furigana, so I unfortunately can’t translate it).

But the first line that Bakugo says, “This will be the end of your dreams” really got to me in the theatre. I may be self-projecting, but I think it’s a line that’s both accurately culminated their relationship thus far as well as an acknowledgement of Deku by Bakugo.

I absolutely love the latter simply because he’s one of the most consistently-written characters I’ve seen in anime who’s not just a mindless, senseless jerk, which makes his growth very organic and fun to watch.

What’s significant about that line is that if he really doesn’t care about Deku (and objectively speaking, there really hasn’t been a lot of moments in the canon where he’s shown to care for Deku’s wellbeing—only a gritty rivalry), he wouldn’t care about the fact that he got One for All.

I’m not quite sure if Bakugo’s ever expressed his desire to get One for All, but I’d argue that he wouldn’t want it because he wants to surpass All Might, which is something that the non-canon character, Tokuda Taneo, also echoed in the recap episode of Season Four. Basically, Bakugo is the type of person to say ‘I don’t need your stupid power because I’m going to be the best hero with my strength alone’. The voice actors of Midoriya and Bakugo have also noted that their fight at the end of Season Three was due to a series of ‘why’ questions from Bakugo: why was I the one who ended All Might? Why am I now chasing the back of someone who was always behind me? Was the way that I admired All Might wrong? (I will be writing a separate note on this episode in the future).

But what changed with the line “This will be the end of your dreams” is that there’s a lot of hidden nuance behind it. This is solely my opinion, but in the movie it felt like Bakugo was (1) acknowledging Deku as his rival, (2) feeling sorry that his dream has ended in this manner, (3) pitying him instead of absolute loathing, like he usually does.

The reason why I believe this to be true is because the first half of the movie opens up a lot with Bakugo watching Deku and really seeing what he’s like as a person who aims to ‘save to win’. He eavesdrops on a conversation between Deku and Katsuma (the little boy), a scene that does a really good job portraying the type of person that the hero Deku is. He’s empathetic, patient, understanding, and kind to someone that Bakugo can get irritated by, and this impatience is almost fatal later when Bakugo almost hangs up on Mahoro when the villains attack, thinking it’s another prank. Basically, the first part of the movie does a good job showing both the audience and Bakugo what sort of person Deku really is.

That line is basically saying ‘I may not like you, but I’ve seen you grow up next to me. I know how much you wanted this and how hard you’ve worked for it—that’s why you’re my rival, no matter how much I despise you. But this isn’t how I want to see your dream end.’

There’s no love lost between the two but just that one line made me positive that Bakugo was fully willing to work with Deku (something he’s either always refused to do or has done so extremely begrudgingly) not simply because Nine was too powerful, but because the entire premise of the movie and Deku’s decision to end his dream just to save Katsuma has once again shown that his once Quirkless, crybaby of a childhood friend really is a hero that he must acknowledge as well.

He knows this wasn’t an easy decision to make and one done out of pure desperation, but the interesting thing is that he asks this question after the power has already been transferred.

As if to ask, ‘Do you really think I can have this, even if it means that your dream will end?’

More surprising to me was how quickly and affirmatively Deku is willing to pass OfA to him. Over the series, he’s said multiple times of how unlikeable Bakugo can be, but he was the person who he respected the most growing up, because Bakugo was someone great that was always near him, unlike All Might.

“If it’s you, I trust that you’ll be able to recognize both our dreams.”

Deku doesn’t even give Bakugo a chance to hesitate, quickly listing out all the reasons why he was willing to hand down One for All—and his dream—to his childhood friend.

I don’t think the movie showed a lot of new sides for Deku, but that one line from Bakugo really made me feel that he cared for his childhood friend in an unexpected or different way than other typical shonen rivalries. It’s different from Kageyama/Hinata’s in Haikyuu!!, or the brother-like relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, or the one between Asta and Yuno in Black Clover, where both sides acknowledge their strengths even if others don’t.

Deku has fought so hard for so long, chasing something impossible despite all odds and actually gained the opportunity to realize his dreams. He’s gone through every roadblock, none of which were easy or handed to him, and deep down, I think Bakugo’s always acknowledged this. But I think it’s only from this fight that can really see that he needs Deku.

All Might told them that they will become the greatest heroes if they can both win to save, and save to win. I’m not sure about Deku, but the ‘save to win’ part probably never registered in Bakugo until he began to see Midoriya as a true rival.

But now, with this seemingly endless fight, Bakugo is about to witness his other half—as a friend, a rival, and as heroes—take his final stand. But unlike Kamino, he can fight with the person that he respects this time, rather than just watching from afar like he had to with All Might.

—

Heroes:Rising was emotional for me for many different reasons, but this line really got to me (although I will once again say that I may just be projecting my own feelings). The rivalry between Midoriya and Bakugo has always been filled with so much conflicting feelings such as envy, pride, antipathy, fear, admiration, and rejection (All Might, chapter 63), but this fight felt like those emotions could now culminate into one of pity, acknowledgement, rivalry, trust, equals, and acceptance. Which made the fight even more bittersweet for me.

Thanks for reading this stupidly long post—it’s been on my mind for days now and I just had to spit it out somewhere. I don’t know if I could even call them ‘friends’, but I really love watching their relationship grow in unexpected ways.

My next note will be on Kamino vs. Heroes:Rising.

#bnha #mha #deku #bakugou #bakugo #heroesrising #movie #tbenotes #tbe #hrnotes #bakudeku #midoriya #kacchan

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thetoffeefox · 5 years

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17 Vergil. Spicy is fine

Anon I’m glad you said spicy is because you know how in media they show characters using a salt or pepper shaker and the lid pops off so they get this giant pile of salt or pepper? Well, that what I sort of did with your request, one minute I’m adding some spice then bam! The lid popped off, and I found myself unable to stop. I hope it isn’t too spicy for ya!

Prompt 17. “Stop it! It tickles!” Vergil X Reader

WARNING: 18+ (Depictions of sex)

Normally anyone who dared to poke fun or mess with Vergil would get a glare that would tell them that if they valued their life they would cease and desist immediately. You, however, were an exception. No matter how much you poked and prodded him he would never glare at you the way he would with his brother and son. He would, however, glare at you in aggravation and annoyance and you would back off knowing that putting him in too much of a bad mood would be hell for all of you. Sometimes you couldn’t help yourself, like right now for example. It was for all tense and purpose a classic lazy Sunday afternoon. Dante was out on a job that appeared to be one that would take a few good days to complete. This left the shop to only you and Vergil. So taking advantage of it you decided because of the insane summer heat to walk around in nothing but a pair of underwear and one of Vergil’s button-up shirts. Was this how you were poking and prodding him? No. It took a lot more than you walking around the shop half naked to entice him into explicit activities, but he didn’t mind looking when given the opportunity. He was a legs man after all and boy did you have legs. Your way of picking on him was sitting on the other end of the couch he was on and pressing your foot against his leg repeatedly. He showed no response, most likely thinking that it would be one of those days where you would give up easily. Ha! As if you would give up, not when it had been so long since you last pestered him. Not to mention he had been reading his book all day and not once spared a single glance at you or given you an ounce of attention today. It was rude. Huffing you set your foot on his shoulder and that is when he looks at you. It’s the general, stop that right now look. All you could do was give him the biggest shit-eating grin he has probably ever witnessed since knowing you. Surely he would get the hint, he would realize that all you want him to do is pay attention to you. Even if it was just for five….minutes. His nose was back in the book and you felt yourself inhale deeply in frustration. This man!! The nerve of him! Your eyebrow twitches as you move both legs onto his arms and the roughness of it is enough to send the book to the floor. You watch it tumble and then cock your head to the side as you look at it. A snicker turned into a giggle comes from you as his eyebrow twitches. It wasn’t enough for you though cause you then nudge his side hard enough to make him move repeatedly. What happens next makes a pit drop in your stomach, fast as lighting his hand clamps down on your ankle. His gaze is intense and there is a spark in it that you hardly ever see, because it’s a side he only show exclusively to you when he knows there is no risk of the others seeing.

“You dare attack the eldest son of Sparda?” He states a wicked grin coming to his features.

A yelp leaves you as he effortlessly pulls you closer to him and a scream of laughter leaves you as his hands dig into your sides running along and squeezing them. Trying your best to roll over and get away from him was in vain. “Stop it! It tickles.” You cry out trying to push his hands away from you, but it doesn’t work. Nor does trying to squirm and writhe away from him for his demonic strength keeps you exactly where he wants you. Underneath you and at his absolute mercy. Vergil stops only for a moment to speak.

“I didn’t hear you.” He purrs getting closer to your face making your eyes widen.

“Uncle, uncle! Mercy please dear god please!” You shout tensing up.

“I’m not sure that’s good enough…” Vergil’s voice turns into a husky whisper as his lips brush against your ear making you shudder.

The grip on your sides move down slowly to your hips before his tongue lightly runs along the shell of your ear. The sensation makes you gasp before a low moan rattles your throat. The mood has shifted so quick and it was very hard to keep up with it at first but now, now you are used to such things with the man hovering over you right now. Need pools in your stomach and a burning makes itself present in your core. Whining you arch your hips into his before they’re roughly pinned to the couch. There was just something about his rough and domineering nature with sex that could instantly have you like putty in his hands. He could work you up so quick that it was almost ridiculous. As his lips moves down your neck, your head lulls to the side as your arousal grows. Within a few more minutes he has you panting and there is an unmistakable wetness that has gone through your underwear. The smell of it is tantalising to the man above you. Vergil restrains himself though, wanting to tease you endlessly. After all it’s only fair to pay you back for interrupting his reading. Even though he is taking his time it doesn’t stop him from ripping open his button-up shirt that looks so damn good on you. The buttons of it clattering and clacking on the hard wood floor. A low almost inaudible groan leaves him when he realizes you’re wearing nothing underneath it. How in gods name did he not notice that sooner? Your whimpers fill the room as you try your best to move your hips desperate for friction. Looking down, he sees your very damp underwear; you were so wet that even your inner thighs were glistening with your arousal. The confliction of where he should start swirls in him for a moment because the desire to taste you was just too great. His eyes never leave yours as he shifts down to your clothed entrance. They don’t leave yours even when his tongue slowly goes up your thigh. “Vergil please,” Is all you can whimper out as your hands grip onto his shoulders. Smirking he lets out a huff before deciding to clamp down on your still covered core tasting your slick through your underwear. The way the fabric brushes against your clit over and over had you uncontrollably bucking and jerking your hips.

It was an unfamiliar and pleasant feeling but it wasn’t enough. Your hands find purchase in his hair yanking it but also gripping it in a manner to press your core against his mouth. He continues his teasing assault, and it has you begging him to give you more. Begging him to give you skin on skin contact, but he doesn’t he merely looks up at you. His pupils blown and wide in hunger and lust. “Vergil! Vergil...I’m going to….” You gasp and you're just about to fall right over the edge when he withdraws his mouth from you. Eyes going wide you can’t help but look at him blinking in shock. Denying you your orgasm was something you never thought he would do, and it was a very dirty trick on his part. Evidently your displeasure was clearly written on your face. “Oh, so only you are allowed to tease?” He asks his eyes darkening even more. With the whine that leaves you, it should embarrass you. You should be ashamed at how desperate and needy it sounded but all you could focus on right now was some way having him give you your release. Vergil doesn’t let up though, and this torture continues on and off for what feels like forever. Each time he goes back to your core refusing to remove your underwear and denying you each and every orgasm you would have. It even went as far as him using the button-up shirt you were wearing to restrain your hands behind your back. It left you truly at his mercy and will. The frustration was proving to be almost too much as tears run down your face.

“What do you want [y/n]? Hmm?” A cocky tone is the only thing clear in his voice.

“Fuck me, please Vergil dear god fuck me, please!” You exclaim almost uncertain it will work and if it doesn’t you don’t know what will.

Finally he seems content with your begging for you are rolled onto your stomach before he literally rip your soaked panties from your body. The cool air on your slick makes you shiver as you hear him undoing his belt and pants. He doesn’t have time to remove his clothing; he wants you and he wants you now! When he enters you it isn’t gentle, it’s rough and most likely if you weren’t a dripping mess right now it would have felt slightly uncomfortable. However, it felt amazing to finally have his cock going deeper and deeper inside of you stretching your walls and filling you in a way you’ve never experienced with anyone else. His thrusts are erratic and uncoordinated because of the denying of his own pleasure to get back at you for your teasing. In the end though he finds a pace and rhythm that sends you reeling and crying out his name. It’s the only thing you can cry out and you aren’t sure if it’s coherent. Even when he is holding you against him by just your hair with your back flush against his chest, all you can feel is the pleasure he has been denying you this whole time building up more and more. He receives no warning of your release the only indicator he gets is your walls gripping tightly onto his length before you cum all around him. His name a strangled cry on your lips. Vergil’s own release follows a few more thrusts later and the feeling of his seed being released deep inside of you makes you gasp and shudder at the warm feeling. You have long since slumped over from exhaustion your face pressed to the leather of the couch. Sweat causing wisps of hair to cling to your face as your whole body shakes from your panting. After pulling out of you Vergil removes the shirt from your wrists allowing them to fall to your sides. Your shoulders would be sore tomorrow, in fact you were sure all of you would be sore tomorrow.

“What did you learn from all this?” He asks his voice somewhat raspy from trying to catch his breath

“That my boyfriend can give me the greatest fuck if provoked.” You respond using the last bit of your strength to turn and give him the cheekiest grin you can manage.

#Did you say spice was fine?#Because oh boy here is some (a lot) of it #Is it hot in here or just me?#Drabble challenge #Vergil #vergil x reader #devil may cry #DMC #devil may cry 5 #post devil may cry 5

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lovebunnie · 5 years

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fr the poem questions: all of them >: )c

jared... only for you...

the tyger – are you a taker of calculated risks or do you enjoy playing with fire? would you rather ask for permission or forgiveness?

i am a major rule follower, i am not at all adventurous and i like to stay in my comfort zone. my life is a mix of staying true to my comfort zone and doing what I feel is right, first instinct.

i carry your heart with me – do you believe in fate? what’s your secret to living a good life?

i tend to not believe in fate, it tends to make people not take responsibility for their actions and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth; predestination takes away humility from us. and i wouldnt say that im currently living a good life, its getting there but more often then not i would not describe my days as ‘happy’, more so just another day. but to make a day not outwardly bad, i firmly believe in having a really good breakfast in the morning and taking a shower at night. both of those really make my days better.

i wandered lonely as a cloud – what does nature mean to you? where do you feel most at peace?

nature for me is what comes to us instinctively and what we turn to for comfort in trying times. i feel the most at peace either at summer camp or in my bedroom with my cat :3

blackberrying – what were your early years like? do you miss being a child?

my early years were very happy, i was a very happy and funloving child. it was a time where i wasnt told about any of my family drama so i lived in blissful ignorance. i definitely miss being a child, all the way up to about 7th grade. its just been downhill from 8th grade and on.

ode to a nightingale – how do you feel about your own mortality? do you believe in life after death?

my mortality is something of a burden i carry with me everyday, a reminder that every minute is precious and this is the only life i get, i have one shot to not fuck it up. i dont believe in the afterlife, the concept of death is something that if i think too hard about then itll fuck me up.

hope is the thing with feathers – what gives you hope? what would you tell your 10-year-old self?

hope comes from those news stories about good news, like charity donation goals being hit and remembered anniversaries and flower bouquets in public, there is good in the world and sometimes its hard to find but its always there. to my 10 year old self, i would tell her to not hold too tightly to those around you, and that life constantly changes so dont get too attached or comfortable because itll prevent you from growing in the future.

the road not taken – do you find it hard to make decisions? what regrets do you have?

its really hard to make decisions because i always assume that my ideas are wrong or bad so if someone else takes the lead, i cant be blamed. as far as regrets, i wish that in my past, i just put myself out there more. i couldve spent highschool actively seeking for possibilities instead of sulking and wishing they came to me. they dont ever, you have to find them.

still i rise – what's your relationship with yourself like? what are your best qualities?

i have a bad relationship to myself; if i admire one trait about myself, the other traits must be less than. for example, if i think i look nice one day, then i remember abt my grades or my writing and how much i hate both of those. i can never be fully at peace, it will never be enough to sate my psyche. my ‘best’ qualities depend on the day, right now i think i have nice eyelashes.

howl – can you express yourself freely? do you feel smothered by societal norms?

i struggle everyday to be my genuine self. its not so much societal norms but my own mind; i want to look nice but i dont want to attract too much attention. i want to be remembered but not for how good my ass looks or whatever. my biggest fear is that people see me as something desirable but only sexually so i want to dress how i feel but i cant because im terrified of the gaze of men on my campus.

the raven – are you in touch with your feelings? how would you describe the relationship between emotions & rationality?

im extremely in touch with my feelings. i can acknowledge when i am angry or sad or happy, even if i dont know why. i allow myself to feel my feelings and then let them pass, i hate bottling those things up. between emotions and rationality, i use my emotions 9 times out of 10. i ask myself, ‘what do i want?’ and the first thing i come up with, i know is what i truly want to do.

sonnet 116 – how do you define love? what qualities do you look for in a significant other?

i think love is everything; its the warmth of hanging out with familiar people, its when people remember facts about you, its a meaningful hug and its ‘this reminded me of you’. its different for everyone but i feel love in everything i do. in a significant other, the biggest thing is being able to make me laugh, if youre funny than im sold.

to autumn – what's your favorite season and why? what cherished memories do you associate with that season?

my favorite season is winter because it has lots of holiday warmth, good food, pleasant childhood memories, and comfortable clothing. also i love snow. i have very vivid memories of a blizzard in maryland when i was 11(?) years old, my neighbor tied a sled to the back of his ATV and dragged us around the cul de sac, it was so much fun!!

the waste land – do you like big cities? if you could choose any place on earth, where would you settle down?

i love big cities, they evoke so many feelings of love and the atmosphere being surrounded by people makes me so happy! if i could live anywhere, i think it would be san francisco, i love the city and the weather and the public transportation!!

o captain! my captain! – what are your aspirations in life? what motivates you?

in life, i want to give a tedtalk. i would also love to publish a book but i dont like what i write so if i ever did, id end up hating the book anyway in a year or so. i want to teach people the joy of public speaking and i want to give kids the joys i had given to me by my teacher when i was their age. my motivation comes from, this has to be done and if no one else will do it, it might as well be me. i have the passion and everything else will follow after that.

she walks in beauty – what's your aesthetic? how would you describe the relationship between inner goodness & outer beauty?

id describe my aesthetic as lovecore, i love the color pink and red and hearts and flowers and teddy bears and dresses and sparkles and valentines day and i love everything stereotypically ‘cute’. and i feel there is no outer beauty without inner goodness, if someone has bad intentions or a rotten core, their outward appearance will reflect.

one art – how do you deal with loss? do you write diary entries, poetry or prose?

thankfully i have not had to go through tremendous loss in my life but when i feel an emotional loss or general low point, i tend to move towards art, aimless doodling to take my mind off of situations. it centers me.

work, sometimes – how does your favorite weather make you feel? what is happiness to you?

my favorite weather makes me feel SO happy, all smiley and giddy and like things are going to be okay, just for one day, i will make this a good one. happiness to me is comfort and joy, its something that makes you laugh until your sides hurt and its art that you look at and feel. happiness isnt a huge moment, its little moments scattered throughout the days.

acquainted with the night – do you think there's such thing as the right time? what’s your outlook on the world?

no, i dont like to set things off for the thought of there being a right and wrong time. time isnt real and we only have so long on earth so there is no time but the present. go get that tattoo, ask them out, eat that snack. my outlook on the world is that there is a lot of bad shit but there is also a lot of good shit you will never see but it important nonetheless. you cant change the world in a day so you might as well take it one day at a time, working everyday to make it as good as possible.

if – do you daydream a lot? are you volatile, or do you stay calm when conflicts arise?

i love to day dream, it helps me determine what i really want and its a lovely distraction when the goings get tough. i try to avoid conflicts in every situation possible but if i were pushed, id either accept my mistake and apologize and work towards a better future; or i would tell the other person how im feeling and what i can do to help them feel better.

what would i give? – do you cry often? if you could change anything about your past, what would it be?

things make me sad but rarely enough to cry, things more so tend to weigh me down then break me. i let the sadness take me however it sees fit. and if thats to cry, so be it. if i could change anything about my past, i would just say that you will only get this chance to start over in a new state once, the years will go by quick so to TAKE OPPORTUNITIES WHEN THEY SHOW THEM SELF TO YOU!!!!!!

#adoration #rockcandey #stan tag #this took so long

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sydstarot · 5 years

Text

Pick A Card Reading!!

Advice for your future via me and some tarot cards I've read for you.

These are going to be pretty simple how’re-the-next-couple-weeks-gonna-go-for-me reading. Please pick the color you gravitate towards the most... or whichever color is closest to the color of your shirt. Either way it’s fate. If you pick one and it seems wrong you can pick another one, it’s technically illegal but no one is gonna call the police on you.

Also, take everything with a grain of salt because I am both a teenager and funny.

Readings under the cut!

Red:

Nine of cups- You did it!!! Wow. I’m so proud of you. :’)

Seven of pentacles- You’re a hard worker and it pays off! Maybe you’re getting good grades or gettin dat money but either way, it’s because of your methodical work. Something that’s important to remember is that you’ve got to keep up your work if you want to keep succeeding like this. One good harvest doesn’t set you for life babe, don’t get cocky.

Queen of pentacles- This is you, even if you’re not a woman. The queen of pentacles is just someone who’s good at their job! They work hard to do that and shouldn’t take anything from people who say they aren’t trying hard enough.

Hey so, Red, you’ve maybe (definitely) got a problem with belittling the amount of work you do. So, jot that down. You’re doing amazing sweetie. My advice to you is to just keep it up. Your routine is good and doesn’t let people tell you you’re boring because of it or any other stuff. Work on the things that you care about and you’ll be happy and do well.

Blue:

The star- So y’know how in the bible or whatever they followed that star to find Jesus? This is basically that but Jesus is happiness and the star is your desire. Just do what makes you happy my man and things will go well.

Three of cups- Again: things will go well. I get that you’re anxious about them... not doing that, and I totally understand. But stuff is going to be great. You probably went to homecoming or another party, and it went well no matter how awkward you think you were.. Your next few weeks seem like a nice time.

Eight of swords- You know how I said that you’re anxious. This is how I knew that. You’re overthinking things. Just take a step back and look at what you want and think about it logically. Notice how this girl has a blindfold on and has a bajillion swords around her. Those represent your worries, babe. Which is relatable but not helpful. Take off the blindfold and look at those swords and you’ll realize they’re like... made of plastic or something.

So, my overall advice for you, Blue, is to stop worrying so darn much. If you keep this up you’re going to ruin your own fun. Everything will be fine if you stop listening to your stupid anxiety-ridden instincts. These next few weeks are gonna be great.

Green:

Three of wands- So you’re project is gonna continue to go well, but you gotta keep planning. Never know what's around the corner.

The hanging man- Okay so this isn’t a bad card but it does mean that something kinda sucky might happen these next couple weeks. It’s okay though because you’re going to learn something from it.

Death- So, you’re gonna die. I guess the thing you learned from that bad situation was the nature of the afterlife. Just kidding. Death doesn’t mean death. You’re going to be starting a new chapter in your life, probably due to the perspective you gained from the rut you were in.

Green, my smart babe, my blue-yellow mix, take some time to consider how you feel about the things that are going on around you. Things are going well, but maybe not in the way you want them to. My advice is to do some self-reflection and ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Your next few weeks are gonna go good, they just might be different than you thought they would. Keep this in mind! Things aren’t going bad, they’re just going different.

Yellow:

Five of cups- Hey so are you in a fight with your friends? Because I’m feeling some conflict. Maybe someone stopped talking to you suddenly or you left your friend group for reasons you can’t explain, but either way, it’s making people sad.

The hermit- You don’t mind being on your own, maybe you thrive on it or you’re used to it. Either way, this conflict has left you feeling lonely. Use this as an opportunity to think.

Two of wands- Okay so you’re gonna patch up this conflict. That’s nice. I was hoping there’d be a happy ending for you mostly because I don’t like being a bummer but also because you deserve it. In order to patch things up though, you’re gonna have to make some compromises... which –I can tell, you aren’t a big fan of those- but it’ll be worth it.

Yellow, you’re one of my favorite types of people. My advice for your next couple of weeks? Pay attention to your friends. Sometimes you focus on yourself a bit too much and that’s okay! It makes you a very self-aware person, which is nice but sometimes your friends need more attention. If listening to your friends doesn’t work, don’t worry. They just need some time alone. Just be there and be ready to make some compromises. Everything will work out.

Grey:

The fool- I love this card because I get to tell people they’re being dumb. That’s not at all what the card means but I can have my fun. Really this means that even though you’re sometimes seen as an idiot you’re really not. You’ve got depth. You’re a fully realized creation. You just like to have fun, don’t let people get you down for it. Listen to your inner child baby, get excited instead of anxious.

The Empress- I'm! So! Proud! Of! You! For! This! Character! Growth! You’re gonna have some epiphanies and it’s gonna be so good.

The sun- Like I said, it’s going to be good. You’re not totally at peace with yourself yet but you’re getting there, and progress is progress no matter what. Just try not to backslide. You’ve got a lot going on and I know it's kind of overwhelming but as long as you keep yourself and others in mind while going through this it’ll all turn up roses.

Grey, ma boy, you’re so cool. My advice to you is to just keep an open mind and give yourself time to self-reflect. We both know your brain can turn into a mine-field if you don’t give yourself time to think things through and no one really needs that right now, least of all you. But yeah. Your next couple of weeks are gonna be peachy-keen.

So this has been Readings With Sydney. Hope you enjoyed it or just got some good advice.

#free reading #tarot #tarot reading #pick a card #pick a card reading #colors #me #syd's readings

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quintessence-sentimentalist · 5 years

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Unpopular opinion here, but I don't like comic-Will because 95% of her character is just being jealous that Matt said "Hi" to another girl or something just as stupid as well as arcs 3 & 4 being dedicated to her getting mad at Matt while not listening not listening to his side of the story and trying to play the victim for the drama that she herself caused. Comic-Matt deserved better than whinny, bratty, comic-Will. But TV-Will & Matt? Yes♥ I totally ship it it's one of the things the show fixed

[Give me excuses to ramble about cartoon Will/Matt]

Oh goodness, anon, let me just say that this was a really really good prompt for me to dig into comics Will/Matt, to the point where I wrote like 1300 words about their relationship across the first seven issues alone. But we’re not going to get into that here because that deserves its own in-depth focus another time, and my passionate blathering about cartoon WxM got REALLY long.

To briefly address the comics, though: I agree that an inordinate amount of Will’s characterization went towards letting her emotions rule her actions, which impacted areas of her life even outside of Matt (most notably, her relationship with her mom). And you’d think that after the first time there’s a big blow-up from acting on her jealousy and possessiveness, Will would take a look at the consequences and learn from the experience. Jumping to conclusions and taking those misconceptions out on Matt and the other party involved only puts her own relationships with said people on the line; subtly gathering more substantial information or just flat-out asking what she wants to know is much less risky.

But that’s the problem: we get about three instances of Will’s jealousy rearing its head, damaging multiple relationships (mainly hers with Matt), and her sitting in the ruins stumped over what went wrong, all before the two of them are ever an official couple by issue #40. That’s like the equivalent of rehashing the same exact conflict between a will-they-won’t-they TV ship every damn season; even then, those types of narratives probably shake things up more than W.i.t.c.h. did with this ship’s issues (like maybe it’s the other half of the ship who’s dating someone else compared to the previous season). It’s annoying as hell, and frankly disrespectful to the characters because they never get a chance to learn from their mistakes and grow.

So I’m just going to caveat your original point: comics Matt and Will both deserved better. Matt (Original Recipe Matt, at least—New Power Matt is a different, unrelated, terrible story) should have had the opportunity to really think about his relationship with Will, and whether it’s worth trying to preserve it and maintain interest in her when she so frequently cycles between liking him and inexplicably freezing him out/blowing up in his face. He’s had his own indiscretions—going all cold-shoulder on Will after hearing about her on a motorcycle with another guy (Caleb) and then seeing her being friendly with Eric—so Matt isn’t entirely blameless either, but in comparison to Will it’s a one-time offense.

Will, on the other hand, deserved to recognize that her behavior is unacceptable and work to break that habit of reacting without evidence or thought on the consequences. She deserved to be able to mature in that area of her life, to own up to her past mistakes and put considerable effort into being better. Even though things work out for the two of them (at least for a time) after 40 issues of excruciating conflicts, we never actually get the notion that Will has sincerely apologized and acknowledged that her prior actions were inexcusable.

But I’m going to curb the comics discussion on that note, because we’re here to chat animated Will and Matt! And what they deserve is all the love because they’re incredibly underrated for being one of the primary canon ships and, as you said, are a vast improvement over their counterparts on paper.

Listen. I rarely truly ship anything—in most media, I might like certain pairings over others, or think a canon couple is cute, but I don’t have super deep feelings about them. But animated Will/Matt? They’ve been the epitome of an OTP for me for about 13 years, and very few other pairings have matched them in terms of emotional impact.

If we’re being honest, I actually think these two are the entire reason why I’m so attached to the animated series. Their development is really painless and fun in comparison to the comics, and the drama they face actually makes them an infinitely stronger couple in the end. Much as I’d love to, I’m not going to go through their development episode by episode because otherwise we’d be here much too long, and I have to have some material left for future gushing over these two. But it’s still going to get long.

What I love about WxM in the animated series, especially in the pre-reveal and pre-relationship early days, is how they seem to be comfortable with and equally attracted to each other. With the comics, in a lot of ways Matt felt like a much more distant character than he was meant to be perceived as. Our introduction to him in the first issue features him playing guitar on stage for a throng of students, with Will admiring him from afar, and that’s still how it feels to me throughout the early development of their relationship. We constantly get Will’s inner thoughts about Matt and her romantic interest in him is clear, but we don’t get a peek into Matt’s head until the second arc (and it’s rare even after that) and his romantic interest in Will just kind of… appears. He asks her out via a letter off-page, without any real build-up on his end, and doesn’t really voice his feelings about her to anyone until much later on.

With their animated counterparts, it’s clear from the very beginning that they’re mutually interested in each other. Matt’s first (non-speaking) appearance in “Happy Birthday, Will” has him approaching a blushing Will as the Guardians return to the party and smiling as he takes her hand to lead her inside. We don’t know if this is the first time they’ve met or if they’re already acquaintances, but this is a really cute first scene to set the stage for this couple.

“Divide and Conquer” is probably my favorite season 1 episode because of these two, which is interesting because their subplot is driven by Will’s jealousy, which I so abhor in the comics. But this time it’s not totally unfounded, because Sandra is a veritable romantic rival if she gets her way. It’s not really clear if Matt is interested in Sandra or if he’s just genuinely being kind to the new girl, but what is clear is that he’s already smitten with Will (he blushes so hard and whips his head away so fast when she catches him looking at her in class—that’s way more than we got directly from comics Matt by that point in the series). Animated Will doesn’t stew over Sandra and Matt’s potential attraction until it boils over and ruins relationships—she basically agrees to a duel to win Matt’s hand a seat on the bus with Matt, even as he frantically tries to defuse the situation before realizing it’s a lost cause. The episode ends on a happier note than the comic versions of this plot, with Sandra exposed as a fraud and Matt and Will growing closer.

(Speaking of Will’s jealousy, jumping ahead to season 2 and “V is for Victory” for a moment, because this was another improvement on such a tired, negative comic plot. Will is still jealous when Mandy comes around and does see the error of her ways after she sabotages Mandy, but the cartoon takes it one step further and actually has her learn a greater lesson from acting on her jealousy—“A victory at any cost is no victory at all, not if you lose yourself in the process.” Comics Will never really had a similarly enlightening realization when it came to Matt and how her behavior was affecting her personally.)

“Walk This Way” isn’t heavy on their relationship, but shows that they’re equally comfortable with each other—and by that, I mean they are both absolute dorks who get embarrassingly tongue-tied around each other, and it is adorable. This isn’t like their early comic days, with Will pining like crazy and Matt seeming distant by comparison. Hell, even in the concert scene at the end of the episode, Matt spies Will in the crowd and pulls her on stage to dance with him as he plays. I think that’s the best analogy for comparing their pre-reveal relationships in paper and screen form: rather than comic Will yearning for Matt from the crowd, their cartoon counterparts are on the same level and are dancing with somebody who loves them.

Which brings me to the next thing I love about them, specifically post-reveal and during their relationship: they are so damn supportive of each other, especially Matt with Will. Once Matt runs through the portal in “The Stolen Heart” and finds out exactly what the Guardians are facing, he’s all-in on their mission, wanting to fight in any way he can. It doesn’t come off as a desire for glory or even an attempt to protect Will (that’s more how she gets about Matt putting himself in danger)—Matt just wants to be useful and be there to back the Guardians up when they need help, and maybe try to shake a little insecurity about not being good enough for his badass warrior girlfriend. Will is opposed to the idea of Matt on the battlefield at first precisely because she wants to keep him, the civilian, safe and out of danger, but once she learns about his fight training and reasons for doing so she accepts it, though promises that he’s more than enough even if he doesn’t fight.

But the pièce de resistance for this point? That comes in “Z is for Zenith,” in their final moment together before the battle ahead. This is the first time in a long time that Will specifically tells Matt not to join the Guardians in battle, because he’s needed elsewhere to keep the rest of the city safe. Matt knows that it’s necessary, but he doesn’t want to leave Will when this is shaping up to be their deadliest battle yet. Which gives us one of the greatest OTP lines I’ve ever heard: “If this all goes south, I’m gonna be beside you.”

(Excuse me while I lie on the floor and pterodactyl screech through my tears.)

This has gotten waaaaay too long already, but I’m going to wrap it up with one final reason why I adore cartoon Will/Matt so much, and it’s the fact that they’ve literally saved each other’s souls. The Shagon arc is the other reason why I love the animated series so much, partially because it provided an intriguing twist on both Shagon and Matt, and because it really pushed Will to her limits. I once submitted a question to Greg Weisman asking why he decided to go this route with these characters, and he noted that part of the reason was to give Will “the maximum amount of turbulence”; that was certainly the case. “M is for Mercy” and “S is for Self” are two of my favorite episodes of the entire animated series, because we see exactly how terrifying Will can be when someone she loves is in immediate danger and the culprit is deliberately taunting her. It also makes for an interesting duality, having the enemy who thrives on her hatred be the inner demon of the boy she loves; the moment Will realizes this, that hatred immediately dissipates and she calls out to Matt, giving him the opening he needs to get free for good. The ending of “Zenith” is such a perfect parallel, with Matt’s voice being the thing to guide Will (and help her guide the other Guardians) out of nothingness and back to her humanity. Add all of this together, and you have an epic romance on your hands.

Ending this on that note because this was so stream-of-consciousness-y and ugh I adore them so much.

#quintessence-sentimentalist rambles #otp: guardian x regent #otp: always a sucker for doomed romance #I have been working on this response since last night and now my feels have increased tenfold

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