#it’s feeling homesick hours boys

[queers-gambit]

Opening Night and Open Hearts

prompt: opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

word count: 9.8k+

note: i think i give enough background for you guys to feel as if you don't need to read any other relating works, but i linked the fics that could be read as a small series (maybe?) also let author be lonely in peace

warnings: reader nicknamed Peach, established relationship, cursing, spoilers, fluff, angst, relationship angst, hurt and comfort, Carmy still (desperately) needs a nap, depiction of physical illness, boys are dumb and emotions are hard, reader-insert, depiction of toxic family, OC Carmy that grovels a lot, not edited!

⚠️ season two, episode ten spoilers

not necessary to read, but other relating works with Peach:

Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant

God's Plan part two: Two to Tango

Neon Sticky Notes

"Hi, yes, I can hear you - sorry about that, I was just making note of your reservation," you spoke smoothly into the phone, trying not to ogle your boyfriend wrapped in only a clean blue towel. "So, that's a party of four for Monsieur Claude Badeaux - all right, that's so lovely. I'm obligated to remind everyone that tonight's opening is a fine dining experience and the proper, corresponding dress code is being asked for. Are there any allergies I should make note of for your party?"

"Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy," you were told.

"All right, that's noted and highlighted: Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy. If there's anything else I could help you with?"

"Non," he chuckled. "I was surprised to see your invitation to this evening, though, mon cher. It's been so long, yes?"

"Well, it was my pleasure to extend the offer, we're ecstatic by your reservation," you chuckled. "We'll see you tonight, Monsieur, and should you need anything before then, you may call this number again."

You said your parting words in French, smiling at Carmy when you hung up and dropped your work phone. "Did I hear that correct?" Your lover asked with a broad grin, "Was that...?"

"Senior marketing advisor at The Washington Post?" You filled in for him. "Uh, yeah, I think it was, but you know me - I could be wrong."

"You invited someone from The Washington Post to the opening tonight?"

"Is that okay?" You asked, standing from the bed after making note in your datebook. "You look kinda - I don't know, shocked?"

"I-I am," he blinked at you, watching you gather his pristine clothing to hang on the closet door. "But in a good way - I can't believe you did this," he chuckled, wiping his mouth. "I mean - holy shit, Peaches."

You offered a toothy grin, "Figured I could pull a few of my own strings to help get the word out about your love-child."

This made Carmy snicker, "Hey, now. Tonight's important, don't make fun."

"I know," you nodded, leading him back into the bathroom to view your hair products. "Which is why I invited some important people and some not-so important people. I know this is serious, Carmy," you smiled at him, hoping to convey your support, "and I wanted to help in whatever way I could."

"You being there tonight is more than I could ask for," he chuckled, helping you onto the small bathroom counter. You squirted a bit of hair product in your hand, watching him flinch back a little, "Uh, I just don't want my hair greasy, Peach, you know? Not a good look and I'll sweat it out in the kitchen."

"I feel like I should be offended by you having no trust in me," you teased, insisting, "I know whatcha need, baby, lemme help."

Carmy smiled softly and held still, letting you run your hands through his curls to push everything back and away from his forehead in a stylish but manageable "do". There was a silent, serene moment as you and Carmy just existed together in a mundane space, his big, sad eyes watching your face as you worked. He wondered, "Think tonight's gonna be okay?"

"I think tonight's gonna be more than okay," you assured softly. "I think tonight's gonna go better than you're anticipating."

He sighed and planted his hands on either side of you, suddenly dropping his gaze. "I, uh... Sugar invited Mom t'tonight..."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"Sugar and I are still friends outside of us dating, Carmy," you smiled patiently, slowing your hands so you more toyed with his curls; pushing some strands behind his ears. "She needs someone as much as you do and I don't mind."

"But isn't that what Pete's for?"

"Yes, but you know, Pete's Pete."

Carmy snorted, "Yeah, yeah, good point."

"I don't know if she'll show up tonight, Bear, but whether she does or doesn't, it won't matter - you're not doing this for her. This is for you, Carmy, tonight's about The Bear opening - it's about you and this incredible, amazing thing you've done. Okay?" You caressed both his cheeks in your hands so he could only look at you directly. "If she shows, that's great," you whispered with a soft smile as your thumbs swept the apples of his cheeks, "and if she doesn't, it won't make tonight any less special. That, I can promise."

Carmy's forehead met yours, both pausing to breathe together; peace always a fleeting feeling as of late and being something you both capitalized on. You brought him in closer for an embrace, his face burying in your neck as your arms snaked around his to keep him as close as possible. His arms were tight around your waist, legs spread to accommodate him; both needing the feel of being close before that night's inevitable stressful event.

"Wow, well, don't you look all pretty! Wow, Peach," Pete greeted you when you scurried to the table with your friend in tow. "Oh, hi there!"

"Pete, this is my best friend, Danielle, and Dani, this is Pete, Sugar's husband."

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," your friend greeted, the two instantly chattering as they both just blew past their introductions to instantly compliment one another's clothes. You smirked, knowing they'd get along famously, and looked around the brand new, packed restaurant.

"Hey, there she is, my pretty girl," Richie greeted smoothly, approaching your standing form to slide his hand around your shoulders.

"Hi, Cousin," you beamed, offering him a hug in greeting. "The place looks fantastic - it's so - I mean - just wow, Richie," you complimented. "You guys did such an amazing job. I need to tell Fak, too, this is - you guys should be so proud, it looks incredible. Hardly can believe what it was before this."

"It really is something, huh?" He grinned. "Hey, Pete," he nodded.

"Hey, Richie."

"And you must be the famous, the fabulous Miss Danielle?"

"That's me," your friend grinned. "You're Richie, right? Carmy's cousin who's not really a cousin but is as good as blood?"

"Yes, ma'am, the very same," he nodded with pride. "We've some drinks coming your way in just a moment, but I need to borrow Peach for just one second."

"Why do they call her Peach?" Dani asked, but Richie was leading you away as Pete was heard answering,

"Oh, because she mastered this peach cobbler with Carmy's mom, Donna, and she started the nickname..."

"What's wrong?" You asked softly with a smile as to not give the illusion to others that you were worried. "What can I do to help?"

"No, no, nothing too bad, you were just requested by the Frenchie-French guy."

"Oh, right, that's right, yeah, I can help with that," you sighed gently, smiling as you approached the table. Greeting the two men and women was easy, Richie impressed by your connections in the professional world. Tonight, The Washington Post didn't just dine with them - no, it was also the director of social media for three luxury, designer brands: Jean-Paul.

Yes, the man was so elusive that he just went by Jean-Paul. Fuck a last name!

Either way, it impressed Richie to hear the introductions. The two women were executives in their own companies, names Richie didn't catch because he was busy taking note of the way Mr. Frenchie-French was basically eye fucking you in front of them all.

"Well," Richie smiled stiffly, "tonight's incredibly special for us. In fact, uh, Y/N's boyfriend is the owner and head chef."

"Really?" Frenchie-French perked his brows, shifting his gaze over to you. "You always had a soft spots for chefs, non? For those who were versed in the culinary arts?"

"Well, mostly I appreciated a man in the kitchen simply because I burn water and would probably unintentionally starve myself," you teased easily, deflecting the man's subtle dig. "I'm actually here with family tonight, so, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight - I know I'm biased when I say the food is exceptional, but I look forward to your own opinions."

"We will talk later, mon cher, I am sure there will be plenty to discuss," the Frenchman promised, kissing the back of your hand as you let Richie lead you away by your free hand.

You released a long sigh, muttering, "Bring them a bottle of real champagne, please, Richie, I had a few bottles imported just for them. Listen closely," you lowered your voice as you both paused on the side of the dining room, "bring them a bowl of thin sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar and pop the cork at their table - it's impressive for whatever reason."

Richie pecked your temple and gave you a tight squeeze, "I got it all covered, girly. You all right? Look like you're gonna be sick?"

"Just men being men grosses me out, I guess," you sighed with a small shrug. "He's always had a thing for me, I figured I'd use that to get him here tonight - Carmy's work speaks for itself, but maybe he'd be inclined to publish an article or two for us if I play nice."

Richie paused you a few feet from your table, complimenting, "I hope Carmy knows he doesn't deserve you, Peach."

"You said years ago neither of us did," you smirked gently. "Said I wasn't relationship material, right? Remember?"

"I was wrong," he nodded. "I even said y'all would never be serious, but..." He scoffed to himself, "I've never seen that boy so crazy about anyone in his life. You've really changed him, Peach. I don't really know how to thank you."

"You can start by buttering up those flirty Frenchmen," you teased, giving his cheek a peck.

"On it," he winked, parting from your side.

Inside the kitchen some twenty minutes later, Richie approached Carmy, directing his attention, "Cousin?"

"Yo."

"Peach is on 17 with Pete."

"Okay."

"Go say hi."

"Yeah, eventually," Carmy nodded absently, never halting his work.

"Eventually?" Richie repeated with distain, something in his stomach twisting.

"Where the fuck is Josh!?" Carmy called into the kitchen, another chef echoing his concerns.

"Yo!" Richie barked as calmly as he could, "Just go say hi to your girl, Cousin."

"Yo, I'll go when I have a minute," Carmy deflected strongly. "I'm in the fuckin' shit, leave me the fuck alone."

"What? I'm saying - "

"I'll get there when I can get there!"

"I'm saying!"

"What?" Carmy barked.

"She's got important fucking people in that dining room, man," Richie scoffed, hands held up in defense. "Just for your ungrateful ass! Maybe the least you can do is go say fuckin' hi - even if you're fuckin' busy. She knows that, it'd be a nice gesture - or whatever fuckin' shit - I don't know! She's your girl!"

"Yeah! Exactly!" Carmy barked. "She's my fuckin' girl, she knows the fuckin' drill, I'll go say fuckin' hi when I get the fuckin' chance, Richie! Fuck's sake! Always tryna meddle and shit!"

"Jesus, fuck," Richie sighed, turning out of the kitchen with his hands waving Carmy off in defeat.

You were none the wiser, entertained by Pete and Dani's gabbing as Sugar was in-and-out, dealing with all the little things going wrong. These little things came to her in the form of notes left at the table subtly for her to go solve, you wanting to help but being shot down every time. Eventually, Carmy was approaching your table with a tray of food, shocking you slightly.

"Hey, Peach," He greeted softly, lowering the tray to balance on the table and lean over to kiss your cheek. "You look gorgeous, baby, wow," he complimented in a whisper, offering another quick kiss.

"Thank you, Chef," you smiled brightly, touching his forearm in a sign of affection. "What's all this you've got for us?"

He hummed and explained what he set on the table in front of you guys; eyes alight and cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen. He poured whatever sauce came with the main dish, smiling at Dani, nodding to Pete, then looking to you.

"I'll check on you later, all right, baby?" He mumbled, watching you nod. "I gotta get back," he whispered, "but thank you for being here, my pretty girl."

"No where else I'd rather be, Cream," you rushed, letting his lips find yours briefly.

"Stick around after, would you? When we close, just... Don't leave yet."

"Yes, Chef," you whispered against his lips with a grin. He gave one single more kiss before pulling away to stand upright.

"Enjoy," he bid the table before walking away.

"So, like," Dani trailed after making sure Carmy was out of earshot, "when's the wedding? 'Cause that might've been the cutest thing I've seen. I mean, opening night, he's cooking, but paused to come serve us? Serve you? And he's so soft with you, kissin' you, bein' all cute," she pouted dramatically. "I want a reason to wear a maid of honor dress, please."

"Hey, hey, chill on us. There's no wedding," you sighed with a small laugh, trying to play off how the subject made your stomach twist. "We haven't really talked about it, you know? No biggie."

"What?" She sputtered. "Wait, hang on. Y'all have been together - like - a stupid, ridiculous amount of time. The fuck you mean you haven't talked about it? What are y'all doing, just ignoring the elephant in the room?"

You shrugged lightly, "I don't know, we know if we ever got married, it'd be to each other, but that's really it. We know we want to be together, we know we want to marry each other, but there's been no serious conversation about it."

"Uh, does that sound right to you?" Dani asked Pete.

He shook his head as you all took dainty bites of food to savor the flavors (and save Sugar some). "When I knew with Natalie, I didn't hesitate."

"Well, Carmy isn't like you, Pete," you defended. "He's got a lot on his plate, too, you know?"

"You've said that since Mikey," Dani frowned, her voice quiet.

"With good reason, don't you think? Carmy's just - he's just going through a lot right now and it's a challenge, you know?"

"No, it's more like Carmy's got the emotional intelligence of a fucking teaspoon!"

"Hey," you snapped, "that's not his fault, he doesn't know much better, so watch your mouth."

"He does with you, like... He knows better when he's with you, when it comes to you, Peach," Pete offered softly. "Look, maybe Danielle has a point - it is a little weird. I mean, you guys have been together, what? Six, almost seven years? Creeping up on a decade of just dating - that's a long time. And didn't you guys do that weird little half-dating thing for two years before making it official? Don't you think that's enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and then, you know? Actually marry them? Or at least ask them?"

"Sure, maybe to other people, but Carmy and I have never been conventional, so, I don't see why we need to start now."

Danielle scoffed, "Look, God love Carmy and everything, but you're just wasting time now. He needs to either commit or let you find someone who can actually love you like you deserve."

"Oh, and Carmy doesn't?"

"Wasn't all that long ago that you two took a break 'cause he called you clingy - and some other unsavory terms," Danielle shrugged. "Doesn't really sound like someone who loves you unconditionally - the way you should be loved."

You sighed and sat back in your chair, "I appreciate the insight, but Carm and I are fine. Okay? We've got years under our belts, we don't want to fuck up what obviously works for us so chill out on the questions, okay? I don't have answers to them."

Danielle and Pete shared a look before the man got up to excuse himself to the restroom. You and Dani finished your meals before sipping your wine, waiting for Pete, but Dani sighed, "This lady's been staring in here for, like, ten minutes already. It's freezing, doesn't she want to come in?"

"Hmm? What're you - ?"

"This lady on the street," your friend pointed over her shoulder towards the window her back was now turned to.

When you peaked out, you gasped lightly when you saw Donna Berzatto smoking a cigarette. "Oh, shit!" You stood from your seat, rushing, "Okay, so, uh, yeah - just - can you just sit here for a second? I have to go handle that."

"Who is it?" Dani wondered earnestly.

"I got it, Peach," Pete told you, passing by the table swiftly with a hand patting your shoulder to keep you at your table.

"What the hell's happening?" Dani asked. "Who is that?"

"Nothing, no one, it's okay, I think that's someone we know, just, uh, hang on a second? We'll be right back."

"Sure," she nodded in confusion, watching you get from your seat and follow Pete out the door onto the blistering cold sidewalk.

"Hey, Mama Donna," you greeted happily, arms crossing over your chest to protect from the wind. "Have you been inside yet? We saved you a seat and all, but isn't this - just wow?" You grinned, trying to encourage her to say anything about her children's hard work.

"Oh, no, no, not you, too, Peach, why are you here?" She groaned lightly, looking upset and close to tears.

"I'm here 'cause of Carmy? I-It's opening night, yeah?" You offered in confusion. "Why? What's wrong, Mama D?" You worried, glancing at an emotional Pete.

"No, it's just, I can't come in, I can't, just no," she backed away, only now making you notice the way Pete cried. "I'm so sorry, Peach, honey, but I was never here. Okay? I-I'll call them later, I swear, I promise, I'll call them - but I-I-I wasn't here. Okay? You can't tell them I was here. I'm so sorry."

"Donna, don't do this," you begged, head shaking. "Don't, please. Just come in with Pete and I - just sit there for a bit. Just come in and see what your kids have done - Donna, it's so beautiful. You'd be so proud, but you should really see it for yourself - "

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not tonight, no, I'm sorry, I can't," she deflected in a rambling mumble, turning and hustling down the sidewalk with her head shaking like a Etch-A-Sketch.

You rounded on Pete, "What the hell was that? Pete, what just happened?"

"Um, I-I don't - I didn't mean to."

"Pete? What didn't you mean?"

"She didn't tell her mom about the baby," he rushed, tears falling. "Nat didn't tell Donna, Peach, and I think I just did - I think I just fucked up and told her."

"Oh, no... No, Pete, you didn't."

"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!"

"No, I know you didn't mean to, honey," you rushed, opening your arms to bring him in for a tight hug. "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pete."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, too, Peach."

"For what?"

"That... We fell in love with Berzattos and this is our new normal now, right?" He sniffled.

You half-smiled, "Yeah, something like that. But it's okay. See, where Donna's afraid to give her love, neither of us are. Sugar and Carm deserve that from us, right? To be authentic and just love them?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"And that's all we gotta do... Is love them, Pete."

"God knows where else they'd get it," he huffed, wiping his face. "Hey, um, I'll be in, in a second - I just need a minute alone, I think, in the cold."

"Take all the time you need," you agreed.

"We're not - we're not telling them about this, right?"

You sighed, "No, I don't think so - at least right now. It might hurt them more, you know? To know Donna was here, but never came in. That she ran away... Again. It'll hurt, they deserve to be happy about tonight."

Pete nodded rapidly, looking like he was gonna burst into tears. Instead of going back inside, you just moved to Pete's side and stood there; producing a cigarette, lighting it, offering Pete a drag that he turned down, and the both of you just standing silently; one smoking, one crying, both processing.

"Wow, look at these gorgeous ladies! By far the baddest in the whole place! Yeah, man!" Fak teased as he approached you and Danielle after closing the The Bear officially. "What a privilege to have you both dine with us this evening! Ugh, truly an honor to see you both here," he praised comically, evening giving a small bow that his brother mimicked.

Your eyes rolled, "You're laying it on really thick when I already tipped you." He snickered with Theo. "Hey, seriously, though, tonight was incredible. I mean, it was all so beautiful, you should all be so proud."

"Oh, we are," Neil giggled, his brother hanging off his shoulders.

"Good," you teased. "Uh, is now an okay time to go back and see him? Kinda wanna offer my compliments to the chef directly, you know?"

"No," Fak answered instantly, "uh, well, probably not the best time."

"Yeah, probably not," Theodore echoed.

"I can sense you two ramping up to something," you sighed, "so, I'm gonna ask you skip all that and tell me what's wrong. Why can't I go see my boyfriend? He just had an incredibly successful opening night, I kinda wanna kiss him if you don't mind."

"Um, well, h-he didn't want you to worry, so, he said not t'tell you, but, uh... Yeah, no, Carmy's, like, locked in the walk-in freezer. Han Solo style."

"What?"

"Locked in the walk-in," Fak nodded rapidly, "yeah, no, the handle - like, the whole handle came off. He's locked in, Peach..."

"Oh, my fucking God," you breathed. "Are you saying he - he missed opening night? Neil!"

"Yeah, kinda... Well, sorta - I mean, technically, but - "

"Oh, Jesus," you breezed past them all.

"Mmm-mmm, the fridge guy's name is Terry," Tina corrected Carmy, flinching a little when he slapped the other side of the metal door he was locked behind.

"See, th-tha-that's what I'm talking about!" Carmy raged. "I'm so fucking distracted, and for what? For fucking what? 'Cause of a girl?" He chuckled ruefully to himself.

"Nuh-uh, don't do that, Carmy," Tina scolded. "That's not no girl, that's your girl, that's Peach - you don't lash out at her, baby."

"Yo, maybe - maybe I'm just not built for this. Right? Maybe that's okay! Maybe that just is. She'd be better off, Tina... I'm just - I'm not built for this."

But what Carmy didn't hear was Sydney asking Tina to cover her at the front because she needed to step out the back, get some air; Tina accepting and telling Carm to hang on a moment. Something he missed. While Tina took Syd's spot, Syd rushed outside, and you slipped in the kitchen door; Carmy being surrounded by shitty ripped tape and an entire side full of the flowers he had brought in for tonight - for you. It was a haunting reminder; something suffocating.

When you got to the walk-in, you were prepared to call out for Carmy, but he started speaking from within, halting any word on your tongue.

"I wasn't here b-because I was looking a-a-at fucking engagement rings when the fridge guy fuckin' called," Carmy ranted, your heart stalling in your chest. "Right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna get married? Commit to this relationship? Be h-her fucking husband or some shit? Have a fucking wife? I'm a fucking - I'm a fuckin' psycho!" He laughed a little, the tears springing to your eyes as his words disarmed your heart and emotional dam. "That's why! That's why I'm good at what I do! That's how I operate! I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could - I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and I - and I had fuckin' cell reception, and Peach and I just had our own routine! We didn't need this extra bullshit, and now..."

You just listened, leaning on the freezer's door, tears silently leaking down your cheeks as you had the horrendous realization that you were what now slowed Carmy down. You were what currently stood in his way, when this whole time, you thought you were helping; making things easier; supporting him. No... No, his words rattled your heart to accept that you were now the bane; the object of his ire. You and your relationship was what was wrong and was causing Carmy hurt and professional complications.

Something you never wanted to contribute towards. You both always said if this relationship got to be too hard, you'd walk away. Better to feel anger than resentment; and now, you knew you had to walk away else risk that resentment fester.

Carmy started up again, "I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment, I don't need to be someone's 'to have and to hold'. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment, nor for someone to have and hold me... And I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this fucking feels." You were ready to open your mouth, but he finished by nailing the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, "It's just a complete waste of fuckin' time - entertaining what I know I shouldn't. Being in this relationship, trying to give what I don't have, wasting everyone's time."

You took your chance, speaking through your tears, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carmen."

"Peach?" Carmy rasped from behind the door, sounding more alert than he had before. "Baby? Hey, hey, Peaches? That you? Peach - hey. Hey," he sounded desperate as you backed away from the door, a fist pounding into the metal, "hey, no, Y/N? Y/N!" The seriousness settled over you both, Carmen understanding you heard a lot more than ever intended and once those words are out there, there's no getting them back. "Y/N, baby? Hey, no, no, Y/N - listen to me - hey, no, no! I-I didn't know you were there, baby, okay? No, Y/N, please - tell me you're there now, let me explain." He paused. "Let me explain! Please! C'mon, baby, please, let me fucking explain - tell me you're still there! Y/N? Y/N!"

You sniffled and walked away, feeling smaller than you ever had in your life. You barely noticed when the kitchen door opened, not until a figured dressed in black stopped you. "Peach? Hey, hey," Richie halted you - taking note of the tears. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay - who fuckin' did it?"

You just stared at Richie for a long moment, opening your mouth twice before sighing and smiling sadly. "I never wanted to be what got in his way," you whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, Richie."

"Peaches, hey, what's - "

But you reached up to kiss his cheek, "Tonight was so beautiful, Cousin, and I'm so fucking proud of you all. Thank you for everything - not just tonight, Richie, but everything you do." You smiled again, whispering, "Take care of him. Okay? He'll need you."

"What're you talking about? What's going on? Where are you going? Hey, where are you going, Peach, please?"

"Have a good night, Richie, I love you," you whispered, leaving out the kitchen door as quickly as you could. "Hey," you sniffled, approaching Dani with the Fak Brothers, "can we go now, please?"

"Are you okay?" Dani worried in shock.

"I'd really like to go, Dani, please," you rushed, throwing your coat on and smiling at the Brothers as if your heart wasn't in pieces. "Thanks again for tonight, you guys, it was magical."

"Peach? Wait, hey, are you okay, baby? What just happened?" Neil worried, watching you snatch Dani's hand, but pause when screaming was heard from the kitchen. Everyone stared at the door, Neil muttering, "The fuck are they...?"

"Now, Dani, please," you whimpered to your friend, who wasted no time in escorting you out of The Bear. The moment you were outside, you burst into sobs, Dani grunting a little as she lead you down a side alley to lean you on a brick wall and beg you to breathe normally.

"What the hell just happened? Hey, honey, you need to breathe," she smoothed hair off your face - but it was like you were drowning in the air with the way you gasped and gaped and panted and whimpered and choked yourself.

"I-I-I-I think - I think w-we're done, I think we're done, I think - oh, fuck - I think we just broke up," you sobbed, hands on your knees. "Oh, my God, Dani," you whimpered, "I-I think - I think we're done, Danielle, oh, my fucking God. I-I heard things tonight that I just - I can't not know, anymore! He said - fuck! He was just so candid, he didn't know I was there so h-he was sayin' things I have t-to now confront - and I really didn't fucking want to! He just - he doesn't want to really marry me, D, and-and-and he was apparently looking a-a-a-at rings - fucking engagement rings! But then he said that w-was the issue - he missed the fridge guy's call 'cause he was looking at fucking rings for me and this is why he missed opening night - 'cause the fucking fridge broke! Oh, my God, Danielle, i-i-it's my fault, it's my fucking fault, he missed the most important night of his life and it's my fault - "

You were cut off by your stomach lurching, emptying your insides onto the pavement. The delicious appetizer, the tantalizing main course, Marcus' fresh baked bread that was delightfully soft on the inside yet baked crisp on the outside, and every bit of the sweetened dessert - all wasted on Chicago bricks.

"Okay, okay, ah, shit, just get it out, babe, there you go," Danielle held your hair, catching you in a suffocating hug once you were done puking. "I've got you, babe, I've got you. You're okay, no, hey, this isn't your fault. I've got you, come on. I think we need pints of ice cream and the saltiest pretzels we can find," she pushed some hair from your sticky forehead, pouting dramatically, "maybe some Pepto? Few Saltines and ginger ale? C'mon, we're going back to mine, there's a good girl," she coaxed you from the ground and away from the wall, "c'mon, you're stronger than this. There's my girl, here we go, just one foot in front of the other - together, with me, just like that."

You sobbed, not knowing that Sydney and her father stood listening just a few feet away behind a set of dumpsters.

The moment the freezer's door was open and Carmy was free, he was sprinting around the kitchen to grab his coat, leave Neil in charge of closing, and racing out the door as the Fak Brothers yelled at him for hurting your feelings.

"Hey, hey, hey, Chef! Carmy, wait!" Sydney chased him outside.

"No time!"

"Wait! She went with her friend!"

Carmy came to a tripping halt, catching himself before he hit the pavement before whirling around to approach her, "What?"

"Her friend? She was with some girl tonight?"

"Yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, um, that's - yeah, that's Danielle," Carmy nodded. "Her best friend, yeah, they were here tonight, sitting with Pete and Sugar."

"Listen, Carmy, I heard them when they left the restaurant... Peach was really upset, like, more upset than I've ever heard, saying you two broke up? Or something? She cried so hard, Carm, she actually threw up, it sounded like she was in genuine distress. I-I didn't know if I should've intervened, but her friend was with her and helping."

"Shit - fuck - Goddamnit," he seethed. "All right, thank you - "

"I doubt they went to your place, I think I heard her friend saying they were going to her apartment."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, I know where Dani lives, thanks Syd!" Carmy bid, sprinting in the other direction - never bothering with the public bus system, just running into the night. Sydney was left to sigh on the sidewalk, Neil and Theo joining her before Richie followed - all watching Carmy disappear down the sidewalk.

"He's a fucking idiot," Richie shook his head.

"What the hell even happened?" Syd asked.

"Carmy mouthed off in the walk-in, Peach heard it all," Richie supplied. "You know the dumbass was gonna propose tonight?"

"What?" Syd blinked in shock.

"Yeah," Neil tacked on, "we had a whole plan and everything. Candles, soft music, flowers - there's a bunch of flower bouquets in the walk-in."

"I'm sure that was hard for Carm to look at," Syd sympathized.

"Doesn't excuse whatever he said," Richie snapped. "She looked devastated."

"She cried so hard, she threw up in the alley," Syd frowned.

"How do you know?" Neil asked.

"I heard her," the other chef frowned. "My dad and I - we actually both heard her."

"Jesus fuck," Richie seethed.

"I mean... Should we still set up?" Theo wondered to his brother. "What if they kiss and make up, like always? Carmy might still wanna go through with the proposal, right? You know?"

"Maybe," Neil trailed, looking at Richie.

"I don't fucking know," he sighed, hands on his hips.

"She thinks they broke up, I imagine whatever she heard was pretty nasty," Sydney frowned. "Think they'll really make up tonight?"

"Let's hope," Richie sighed. "That fuckin' idiot isn't gonna find anyone better than Peach. Fuck," he looked around the city street. "All right, fuck it, fine, let's fucking set up. Not like the jackass deserves it, but let's do it for Peach."

Neil and his brother grinned at each other, turning to hustle back into The Bear - leaving Sydney and Richie on the street. No words were exchanged, just silent shakes of their heads before they followed the Faks with the intention to help set up for a proposal nobody even knew if would still happen.

The cold night burned Carmy's lungs, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of suffocation he felt earlier when listening to one of your voicemails while trapped.

Your words were sweet as pie, as they usually were; a voicemail left when you were still at work, but feeling so excited to see him that night that you just had to call him. You reminded him of the adoration and love you held for him, relaying how proud you felt - and that you knew Mikey would be, too. You were always doing that, reassuring Carmy; and maybe that's why he felt so freaked out, he wasn't used to it. Even after almost 7 years together, he just wasn't used to what he didn't know he deserved.

Because Carmy didn't think he deserved anything remotely close to love, understanding, compassion, patience, and / or reassurance.

He had sobbed out loud as he locked his phone, not having the heart to delete your message. He often never did - he liked listening to your voice on long, hard nights; it brought him peace when the world felt too loud. He also kept whatever little notes you left for him, even going as far as to get a few of your hand-drawn hearts tattooed on his forearm. One for each anniversary you've shared together. He realized he never wanted to be without you and all his doubts and fear was him projecting his own incompetence towards this relationship; so, he locked his phone, he didn't delete your message.

The moment the fridge door had been opened, Carmy was out of there, shot off like a Roman Candle - your words of love and understanding still ringing in his ears as he was freed. He needed to apologize, and he needed to apologize right fucking now.

The whole run to Danielle's apartment, Carmy wasn't sure what to say to you; mulling over different ideas in his head. He tried to plan his speech, but the only thing he could think of was how much he loved you and that the ring in his pocket weighed a hundred pounds.

He pounded at Danielle's door. Carmy paced slightly as he waited, knocking frantically, and surely waking the neighbors - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to you, something he was desperate to accomplish. When the door opened, your friend offered a stale look and shook her head, "Nope."

"Dani, please," he halted the closing door, "it's all a misunderstanding, I swear to God, please, just - let me try to fix this. Please, okay? I-I need her - I fucking need her and I have to fix this 'cause she's all that matters, okay? So, let me talk to her - please. Please, Danielle!"

"Yeah? The only thing?"

"More than anyone, more than anything - more than The fucking Bear, I swear to fucking God, Danielle! Just - Just one chance, please. I-I don't know how it all got so fucked, but please, I have to try - "

"Whatever you said in that freezer, Carmen, fucking gutted her, you hear me?" Dani stood in her doorway protectively. "Should've had your ass frozen for the hurt you caused her. How the fuck do you intend on making this right? Huh? It's been almost a fucking decade, dude, if you're seriously still afraid of commitment, just fuck off and leave her alone. Let her walk away 'cause I promise, there's a line of dudes who would love to put a ring on her loyal-ass finger - "

"Please, let me fix this," Carmy begged, sounding close to tears. "I need her, Danielle, please."

"It's okay, D," a voice whispered from behind Danielle, and when she turned, you were revealed - jacket and purse in hand, looking completely exhausted, drained, and disheveled. "I'm just tired, Dani, but we have to talk about this... So, I'll go home with him and call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You sure?"

"It's a decent walk, gives us too much time to talk," you shrugged, refusing to meet Carmy's bloodshot eyes. "Thanks for tonight, sorry I was such a mess," you whispered, hugging your best friend since pre-school.

"Girl, don't you ever apologize to me. But hey, look, I don't know, you were just drowning in your tears, like, five minutes ago. Sure you really wanna go? You can stay here as long as you'd like, girl, fuck him."

"Better to work it out now than later, I guess," you whispered, letting her kiss your cheek and see you guys out.

"She calls me cryin', Carmen, I'll kick your ass," She threatened as you moved down the apartment's hall. You might've snickered just a little, but the amusement was wiped clean when you rounded the corner and came up to the elevators.

Now that it was just you two, it was dreadfully awkward.

"Baby - "

"Just - don't talk for right now, Carmen," you sighed, shaking your head. "I'm still digesting all you said."

He frowned when you walked onto the elevator without a single emotion on your face, following you, and when on the ground floor, moved out to head home. It was quiet, it was awkward; only the sounds of traffic filling the space between you as you walked.

"Listen," he started with a long sigh, "you came in at the worst time, Peach, heard some shit you shouldn't have that I-I didn't even mean. I was just," he paused, sighing, "really angry and frustrated, fucking running my mouth 'cause I didn't know what else to do."

"Sounded like I came in at the best time since you're not very forthcoming with emotions. So, hearing your confession put a lot in perspective for me, Carm."

"I was just angry, Peach," he frowned, hands deep in his pockets. "Felt like I was self sabotaging myself, I wasn't sure what else to feel. So, I just lashed out. I didn't mean it, but I just felt like being angry... So fucking angry, baby, I just - I didn't know what else to feel."

"I don't know if I can be with someone like that," you whispered. "Someone who throws our relationship under the bus when he's angry, someone who's first line of defense is apparently to blame the relationship he's been in for over half a decade with the same girl. Someone you've known your whole life..."

"Peach - "

"If it's that easy for you to just disregard us, I don't think we should continue this."

Carmy took a breath and reached out to pull you to a stop. He dug in his pocket for a moment, then showed you the black velvet jewelry box. "I was gonna propose tonight, when everyone was gone," he explained when you took the box to open gingerly. "I think because that was on my mind already, something I was more than nervous to actually do, you're right, it did become my first line of defense to blame us - not just you, baby, but us. You and me... Mostly me, though," he chuckled sadly. "You're this perfect, sweet angel who just loves me out loud when I don't deserve it, and I'm... I'm just me," he sighed, eyes reddening. "And I know I'm never gonna be enough for you, I think I started to get in my head about if you said no. How I missed the call from Terry about the fridge 'cause I was picking out an engagement ring that you didn't even want, that you rejected - rejected me; and in turn, I missed opening night, and it all just - it got to a boiling point. Look, Peach, it's never been a secret that I don't think I deserve you... But I wanted to be the man that could at least give you an honest try of my best. You've stuck by me the past seven years when you should've ran for the hills, and I knew I wanted us for life years ago - but everything was still so up in the air. So confusing. So fucked up. I figured, after opening tonight, if things went t'plan, I could propose - prove to you that we're on our feet and there weren't any rugs to be pulled."

"What if things didn't go to plan?" You whispered.

"We're kinda living it now," he admitted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But even if tonight was all a total failure, I know I might've still done it because it's you, Peach. It's you... I've known for years you're who I want, I just never knew how to do this - to move us forward. You're my first relationship, hopefully my only relationship, and I just didn't know how to advance us. I think when things got real for me, my insecurities crept in, and I just reacted - I didn't think."

"We always said when this wasn't healthy or when this wasn't good for us anymore, we'd walk away," you reminded. "That we'd rather be sad or angry about a breakup instead of letting resentment fester from being together."

"It's still good for me, Peach, we're still good," he whispered, stepping closer. "Is it still good for you? Or did I lose you completely tonight?"

"I don't know, Carmy, you've been lashing out a lot lately. At me specifically."

"And with The Bear now open, I-I should be okay. You know? Back to normal?"

You chuckled dryly, "I see, back to your high walls? Emotional constipation?"

"Then maybe not normal," he corrected, "because I just needed to get us here, to tonight, to opening, and then show you that it's over. Show you that part of our lives is over and we only have more adventures to look forward to. Not ones like this, though," he gestured up the street, your eyes cutting over and realizing you were back at The Bear.

"Do you really think you're a psycho?"

He chuckled, "After tonight? Yeah, pretty convinced... Plus, I, uh, I saw in the freezer the way we're labeling things - and got angry about it. Angry about the way we were tearing tape and labeling things. It was so fucking stupid, but I just - I felt so crazy. I still do, I still feel like my head doesn't make sense and I'm a bit, you know... Crazy."

You nodded slowly, "Then how can you promise me this kinda shit won't happen again?"

"I don't think I can, but I can make you the promise that I am working on it; trying to identify when I feel reactive, trying to calm that down. I'm trying, Peach, I really am - it's just... Taking a lot of time," he sighed sadly. "And I know you don't have any more left to give me."

"I've already given you this many years," you reminded softly, "I think I could spare another or two if it meant you getting your shit together, that you get better, stop feeling so crazy."

"I don't deserve anymore time - "

"I think you need to step back and reevaluate what it means to be deserving because you always say that. That you don't deserve something - even as simple as time. Everyone deserves time and opportunity to figure shit out, Carmy, and you're no exception."

He nodded, "I'm... Trying." He took a long, deep breath, "I'm, uh... Going to meetings, you know, like, uh, Al-Anon and whatever."

"That's good, they're there to help," you nodded, stepping closer to take his hands in yours after closing the ring box and stuffing it back in his pocket. "Now, I think you need to do something."

"Anything, Peach."

"Take my hand, bring me back to The Bear, and go about your plan."

He froze in shock, blinking at you in earnest, "You really mean that?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No, ma'am, and I think that scares me more."

"You'd rather break up? 'Cause at this point, Carm, we either move forward with this engagement and fucking work our shit out, or we break up. It's been almost a decade. It's your choice, you're the one who was saying he couldn't be someone's husband, that he didn't need to provide anyone nor have them provide you with anything. So, you tell me what you want to do - because all I know is that I love you, I want you for life, but not if you're going to resent me and regret moving our relationship forward. I don't need to get married, Carmy, but you can't keep jerking me around like you have been. So... Make a decision based on what you want - based on what's best for you. Not what's best for us, but put yourself first right now, Carmy, and make a decision about what you want."

With a nod of his head, Carmy cleared his throat and offered you his hand. When he felt you lock your fingers with his, he glanced up and down the street, then lead you across it. Up the sidewalk and to the front door of The illuminating Bear, he paused to produce his keys and then lead you inside.

The lights were dim, but a flip of the switch brightly lit up the newly constructed restaurant. He seemed nervous at your cool demeanor, watching you shed your coat and set your purse down; but his hand took yours again and lead you further into the place. He seemed nervous, but once in the kitchen, it was almost like Carmy's stress melted away.

"I was... I had this plan," he explained softly, leaning on one of the work stations with both hands in yours to keep you in front of him. "I have all these candles, right? Was gonna distract you in here," he looked around the fluorescent lighting, "while Richie, Fak, Tina, and the others set everything up. We'd hang in here after the place was closed down, you know, show you around the completed kitchen. And really casually, I'd ask if you were ready to go, so, we'd go out the front, and we'd walk right into the candlelight..."

"Yeah?" He nodded, thumbs running over your hands as he pushed off the counter. "Don't deviate from your plan now..."

Carmy smirked, "Wanna hear the boring kitchen stuff?"

"Of course, I do."

So, he lead you around in a tour of the kitchen; showing off the new office space that he invited you to take advantage of whenever you wanted. The sleek appliances were shown off, the vast fridges, freezers, new cutlery, state-of-the-art dishwashers. Everything, he showed you, knowing you helped him pick a lot of it out - it was still nice to see it all come together finally.

And then, slowly, he lead you out of the kitchen, but to your honest shock, the dining room was covered in lit candles and different bouquets of thick, gorgeous floral arrangements. "Oh, holy shit," you breathed, Carmy hiding his confusion much better than you.

You came to a slow halt in the middle of the room, the lights out and only leaving the candles to provide an ambiance. "I had this whole speech planned, too," Carmy told you softly. "Remind you of the day we met, how you saved me from those jackass bullies - remember?"

You smiled softly, emotions swirling in your chest, "First day of first grade, you had a Buzz Lightyear backpack and some kids were picking on you 'cause of it."

"And what did you do?"

You felt bashful remembering, but humored him by answering, "Pushed their faces in the mud at recess and made them apologize."

"You've been my best friend since that day," he nodded, bringing you in a few steps closer. "And when we got to high school, my feelings changed. You weren't just my best friend, but the girl I was madly in love with... Took me a couple years to buck up the courage to ask you out officially, though."

"Sure took your sweet time," you whispered with a smile, "but all good things to those who wait, right?"

"And I think you've waited long enough for a man to be who you deserve," he frowned. "All these years - it's been you at my side. You even - fuck - you even came over to Amsterdam for a bit because I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely. Sad, maybe even a little homesick. But you just - you just showed up like it was the most common thing in the world."

You chuckled through your tears, "Yeah, we had some good times on that boat, didn't we?"

He nodded with a softening smile, pushing hair from your face and behind your ear; pausing to hold your cheek carefully. "And when we came back stateside... You were still the only constant presence in my life. You were my family without blood, and I knew after that Christmas that you'd forever be my other half, and I'd spend my life conveying how grateful I am for you. I just - I never knew how to put it into words until now."

"What changed?"

"Realizing that I wanted to marry you years ago - and I should've. I know I shouldn't have drug my feet with us, delay our inevitable, because honestly? I couldn't see my life without you in it and I knew I needed you with me forever. Peach," he frowned, reaching for your other cheek, "we agreed when this wasn't healthy, we'd walk away - I remember that. But I need you to know, I'll never fucking regret you. I'll never resent you. You've been unwaveringly supportive and loving and... And I've been the luckiest man to experience it all. But now," he pushed himself a step closer so he was hovered over your lips, "I know that you deserve someone just as present in this relationship as you are. I knew once The Bear was done, I was done - I was done beating this bush around and wasting time. I knew what I needed to do because the idea of you not being in my life anymore terrifies me more than anything. I don't remember life without you, Peach, and I don't ever want to know what it's like. So," he cleared his throat, "here, in the restaurant I so desperately wanted to give up on so many times, but you always stopped me, I wanted to make this official. I wanted it to be here to show you that the past year of our turmoil - it's fucking over, Peach. We did it," he whispered, "and now, the next and only thing I want to focus on is us."

Carmy readjusted you both for a little bit of space, holding your left hand tightly as he lowered himself to a single knee; looking up at you with those big, wide, sad blue eyes that were growing redder by the passing second. The candlelight created a romantic atmosphere that cocooned you both in a warm embrace, the flowers around you projecting their floral scent.

"So, I need to ask you something real important, baby," he whispered, his throat bobbing to restrain his emotion that clawed up his throat, "because if I don't, I don't think I could breathe again." He cleared his throat, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to present to you officially. "Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N... My sweetest Peach, I've loved you almost my entire life, you're my best friend, my most loyal and sweetest confidant. You make me want to be a man better than I was yesterday and never before have I ever seriously considered marriage - until you. Now? Now, I can't get the idea out of my head, so, my sweet girl," he took another breath, the tears in his eyes swelling and slowly dripping down his cheeks as you slowly got on your knees in front of him, "I need to ask you... W-Would you do me the honor? Of being my wife?"

"Carmen."

He grinned at you, both with tears down your cheeks. "Will you marry me, Y/N? I can't see my life without you in it, so... I want this, I want you for life. Y/N, will you marry me?" He paused, adding a meek little, "Please?" at the end.

With a deep breath, you slowly reached for his cheeks in a soft caress to wipe his tears; both just staring at one another for a good few moments before a face-splitting grin nearly cracked your lips. "Yes," you finally answered, "yeah, yes, yes, of course, I'll marry you, Carmen, yes!"

"Oh, thank fuckin' God," he laughed, letting you lunge forward to knock him backward in a hug - missing the candles arranged in a small circle for you two to stand in. Carmy laughed loudly, happily, giving you a tight squeeze as he mused, "Had my heart beatin' outta my chest for a second there, Peach."

"Oh, please," you laughed, "after all this time, you really thought I'd say no?"

He shrugged meekly, "Thought my most recent fuck-ups would've added to any reasons you might have to say no."

"Oh, spare me - you're my best friend, Carmy, you know I couldn't ever say no to you. Not without puking in nervousness."

"Can we maybe not talk about puke when we just got engaged?"

You laughed and nodded, "Fine, fine, fine, then put the ring on, please."

You presented your left manicured hand, watching Carmy almost giddily removed the band from the box, took a slow, deep breath, and then, the most beautiful ring was being slid onto your finger in an official show of your engagement. Of your undying love. Of your commitment, promises, and future together.

"YEAH!" An array of varying cheers and hollers of support and excitement rang out around you; startling both you and Carmy to look up. Richie, Sydney, Tina, Neil, Theo, Pete, and Sugar all hung in the bathroom's alcove - watching with splitting grins and cheering in celebration.

There was no time to question them as Richie lead the charge over; helping you to your feet for a giant, bear hug before gushing over your engagement ring. Neil and Theo popped one of the authentic bottles of champagne, pouring different flutes for those present.

"Calm down," Natalie scolded Richie lightly, "and move out the way, I want to hug my engaged bestie!"

You squealed with Sugar when her arms wrapped around you tightly, Rich moving on to congratulate Carmy - who apologized for his angry words earlier and thanked them for still setting things up. Richie promised it was for you, not Carmy, but still hugged the little shit with a laugh - indicating he was just joking.

"Let me see!" Natalie grinned, examining the ring Carmy chose and squealing again. "Oh, my God! Oh, it's so pretty! Oh, shit - sisters!" She gasped, holding your hands tightly, "We're going to be sisters - like, officially!"

"Sisters in law, but yeah, cupcake," you beamed at her, wiping your tears and giggling. "I can't - this just doesn't feel real," you told her softly, looking the few feet over to see Carmy with the lads as Sydney stood with you and Sugar. "Him proposing? I genuinely thought it wouldn't happen," you tried to laugh your nerves off, looking at your ring and fiddling with it.

"Yeah, right," Sydney laughed. "I haven't been around that long and even I knew this was gonna happen."

"Oh, please, she's right," Natalie grinned when you went to retaliate, "he first started talking about how he wanted to marry you when he was, like, 15. This has been the longest thing coming."

"Thank you guys for helping," you whispered with a smile. "It's all so beautiful."

"Happy to help for a good cause," Syd smiled, complimenting your ring as Neil called for a toast. Everyone was given flutes of champagne, Carmy's arm wrapping around your waist as each friend gave their own little speech, congratulating you both before the alcohol was being drained.

"Uh, and where are you two going?" Sugar asked about an hour later with a small giggle when Carmy wrapped an arm around your neck after helping you into your coat again.

"Gotta celebrate alone with my fiancé," he smirked, "later, guys! Don't forget to lock up!"

"Carmen!" You scolded with a small laugh, gaping at him.

"What? They got this," Carmy chuckled. "Thanks, you guys, see you tomorrow!"

"We can help clean," you told him as he lead you out of the restaurant.

"Nah, we've got bigger plans," he smirked at you. "Got plenty t'celebrate, yeah? Ever fucked as fiancés before?"

"No - but I hear it's some crazy sex," you whispered, locking your arms around his waist to stay close. Neither of you cared about the bus at this hour, opting to walk home in the cold - not that you felt it. Your love burned brighter than the cold biting your skin.

requesting rules and masterlist

The Bear masterlist

[moonstruckme]

ok i have a request/idea: gf reader on tour supporting bf rockstar!sirius but she starts to feel homesick being on the road for so long <33333 just feel like sirius would be so comforting and caring

I feel the same babe! Thank you for requesting <3

rockstar!Sirius x fem!reader ♡ 1.4k words

Even after months on tour, you don’t understand why rockstars need to smoke indoors. You’ve found a corner of refuge in the stranger’s house, siphoning fresh air from an open window, but you feel for James, grinning and bearing it while he talks to another band that performed tonight and makes nice with groupies while showing off pictures of his girlfriend back home. 

Part of you is still a bit awestruck that you get to go to these things, another part equally mystified at how routine it’s come to feel. During the first several nights of the tour, you’d been endlessly dazzled by the wealth you were suddenly surrounded with, the vibrancy of the people around you, the novelty of it all. The world had suddenly become so much larger, and everywhere you and the boys went everyone wanted to talk to them, buy you all drinks, invite you to parties and afterparties and after-afterparties. 

Sirius bears it beautifully, like this was always his destiny—in a lot of ways, you imagine it was—but sometimes when the two of you are alone he’ll confess to still feeling giddy that he and his friends have made it this big. You wonder if it’ll ever feel normal for him, the hugeness of it. You can tell by now that it never will for you. 

You’re still very impressed by the glamor of touring, you still have a good time on these nights out, but lately you’ve started to feel the distance between where you are and your real life. It’s almost as if before you could feel something invisible connecting you to home and, somewhere along on the road, it severed without you noticing. Now it just feels like a phantom limb, and when you try to recall the scent of you and Sirius’ kitchen or mime the way you have to jimmy your key to unlock the front door, you can’t manage it. 

You’re still thinking of the scent of your kitchen when it sidles up next to you. 

“You smell like garlic,” you tell Sirius, not without fondness. 

“God, it’s that potent, is it?” Your boyfriend’s tone speaks to a chagrin entirely unlike him, and he corroborates its falsity by caging you in his arms and touching his cheek to yours. You don’t mind, as he knew you wouldn’t. “I was given a choice, gorgeous, and I took a gamble.” 

“Mm. What was that?” 

“Do you want to get out of here?” 

You turn in his arms, tangling your fingers behind his back so you’re holding him as he is you. People start to give you a bit of berth, as one does for couples at parties, and selfishly you enjoy it. 

Touring is non-stop motion, a blur of people and places and sounds, and you miss the slow, quiet moments you and Sirius used to have more of. You’re with him all the time, but it doesn’t always feel like it. It hardly feels like you’re with yourself. Not his fault, not anyone’s, but not ideal. 

“It’s hardly one,” you say. 

“Which means” —he drops his lips to your eyebrow, speaking loudly to be heard over the music but just soft enough to have goosebumps skittering down your arms— “the fast food places will be closing in an hour. Fancy some grease, my love?” 

You tilt your chin up, pecking him on the lips. Truly, you don’t mind the garlic as much as you suppose you ought to. “Sure, let’s go.” 

Getting to the door is a melee, several people stopping you to try and pull Sirius back into conversation or ask if you’re going to the next party and such-and-such’s place in a couple hours, but when you do make it out the noise deadens and the air tastes clean. 

It’s a pleasant night, just cool enough to raise the hair on your arms and refresh your energy. Somewhere above you, the moon is hidden behind clouds, but still it’s bright enough that it casts a silvery glow in the areas not lit by streetlights. 

You make it a few paces down the block before Sirius is fisting his hand in the material of your shirt, spinning you around to face him. 

“Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?” 

Only thrice between the hotel and when he went on stage. “No.” 

“Liar,” he says lovingly, leaning in to give you a kiss. 

You expect from his mood for it to be hot and indelicate, and you’d hardly have complained, but he closes his lips around yours softly. His hand loosens on your front, coasting upwards to cup your cheek, sweet and savoring. 

“Garlic knots,” he says as he pulls back. 

You’re unjustifiably breathless. “Hm?” 

“That was the choice I had to make. One of Ricky’s friends heated up garlic knots, and I wagered you’d prefer kissing someone who tasted like garlic over someone who tasted like cigarettes.” 

“It’s not just someone.” You grin at him, turning and taking his hand to keep walking. “I’ll always prefer kissing you. I would’ve done it either way, you know.” 

You can hear Sirius’ smile in his voice, your favorite sound. “Yeah, but I chose right, didn’t I?” 

“You did,” you confirm, and he gives your hand a triumphant squeeze. “I have no idea where I’m going, by the way. I don’t know why I took the lead.” 

He hums. “Do you ever think you might have one of those honing instincts? Like, the way bees are to their hive, that’s how you are with fast food. My honeybee,” he says it drawn out and extra saccharine, knowing you’ll hate it, and laughs when you let go of his hand and make to walk away from him. 

Sirius grabs for your hand back, tugging you close enough to get his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. You don’t put up much resistance. 

“You’re spot on, sweetheart,” he says. “I clocked a McDonald’s just a few streets down when we were driving here.” 

A buzz of excitement goes through you. “Why are you so keen on McDonald’s all of a sudden?” Sirius is as happy with fast food as the rest of you, but you know he’s been enjoying the lavish meals the boys’ new manager pays for and having room service sent up at your hotel. “We can always have that at home.” 

“You’ve been talking about milkshakes for a couple of days now,” he says, “and you’re getting quiet. I recognize that mood. I missed home last summer, too.” 

“Really?” This is the boys' first big tour—they’ve already been on a shorter, less grandiose one you hadn’t come along for—but it’s hard for you to picture Sirius ever not enjoying it. He’s not someone who sets down roots, and with the way he talks about where he grew up you’ve never thought of him as getting particularly nostalgic for any sort of place. “I figured you’d feel most at home wherever James and Remus are.” 

“Yeah, but we’d left you behind. I was torn in two, gorgeous.” Sirius’ tone is doing that weird thing where it’s teasing but not. You can hear the sincerity lining his words. He mashes a kiss into the side of your head. “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?” 

“Because.” You take his hand where it’s draped over your shoulder, your fingertips dancing in between his own. “It’s not the sort of mood I’d like to give into if I can help it, and I’d rather be here with you than at home anyways, so it’s pointless. There was nothing you could do, baby.” 

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” Sirius gives your fingers a playful squeeze. “You should always assume there’s something I can do, haven’t we been over this? Right now, I can get my girl a milkshake and some fries, and then I was thinking we could go find a park to eat them.” 

That sounds so unbelievably nice. You turn your head to smile at him, and find he’s already looking at you with a similar expression.

“And if more things come up that would make you feel better, I can try to make those happen. How does that sound, lovely girl?” 

You steal a kiss to his cheek, but Sirius doesn’t let you get away with just that, stopping to hold you in place so he can peck you properly on the lips. The neon sign of the McDonalds is close enough now to cast you in its glow. 

“You woo me more every day, do you know that?” 

“Yes, well,” says Sirius, wrapping his arm around you again to lead you the rest of the way, “I do have to prove myself better than home somehow, don’t I?”

[cheeseceli]

Their s/o is a songwriter

Pairing: idol Ot8!skz × songwriter Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, headcanon, idol!au

Request: so what if skz finding out their partner is a song writer / composer? bonus points if the skz members also found out that they wrote their favourite song :>

Warnings: reader is implied to write for Kpop most of the time, not proofread.

A/n: as a songwriter, I appreciate this request a whole lot lmao. Thank you for requesting, I hope you like it!

Bang Chan

Honestly, I think this is something he would find out before dating you

Man knows everyone in the whole entertainment industry

Ofc he knows who you are

If anything, the way you both got to know each other more was through working together to make a stray kids song

Overall, I think he would love to have a partner in the industry

Even if you never get to be on stage

Simply because you understand him more than other people do

You know how music is essential and demanding at the same time

Your job probably makes him feel more connected to you

He likes to joke that you're the newest member of 3Racha

Always sends you songs he made your you to listen

And wants you to do the same

You can send him an audio at 1AM and bro will listen to it right away, ready to give you his opinion and advice (and praise)

Lee Know

Poor stray kids and stay

They will be listening to the songs you worked on nonstop

He just happens to be your biggest supporter 🤷🏻‍♀️

Has a whole 10 hours playlist with all of your work

Knows every lyric even if they aren't Korean

And he also enjoys dancing to it very much

Even if the song doesn't have a choreo, he likes to make up his own by listening to what you did

Probably invented a few trends with your songs because of it lmao

He also listens to it a lot when he's on tour

Even if it's not your voice that he's listening to, it's still you somewhat

He just wants to feel close to you

Asks you to sing or play the songs you produced

Might or might not have a small compilation of audios of you singing when he's way too homesick

(And if you wrote his favourite song, he would definitely have an audio of you singing it)

Changbin

Sees you as a very big inspiration

The amount of times he listened to one of your songs so he could get out of creative block is crazy

If anything, he probably already saw you as a role model before even getting to personally know you

Imagine the seo changbin fan boying you

If you write for other K-pop groups/soloists, he's probably trying to make references of what you wrote in his own rap

Fans always think he's talking about a certain idol or something but he really is just trying to include you in his work😭

And he would beg to have at least one stray kids song cowrote by you

Like literally begging

He needs to have one small Collab with you at least once

And will get a little pouty every time you can't work with skz because you're with another group at the moment

Hyunjin

Loves to have songwriting dates with you

Usually releases the songs you both write (with your permission ofc) as a skz-recorder

Stays are starting to wonder who is that composer/songwriter who is behind every single song Hyunjin is in lmao

I remember he said that one of his goals for 2024 was to produce more

So he will 100% seek your advice and even ask for some particular lessons at times

And he is always a little bit shy when he's about to show you what he's been working on

Because he feels like you are THE songwriter

And you're also his partner so like

Your opinion is a very big deal

And he's also so excited when you let him listen to a preview of your newest work

Is always awestruck

(Any song of yours would be his favourite lmao, and the best part of it is that he means it)

Han

He would LOVE to have a partner in the industry

Or just connected to art somehow, even if it's just a hobbie

I mean, look at his lyrics

Bro inhales and exhales art

The fact that you understand this side of him and even share this interest is so what he needed

He's also very very helpful when you need to write songs

I see late night dates in the studio

Even when any of you is far away for whatever reason

It can be 2am in Korea, he will be on his phone more than willing to listen to you brainstorm

Brainstorming with Han would be very fun overall lmao

It's either going to be the most sentimental thing to ever exist or it's going to be complete nonsense lmao

Oh and he would also make a lot of references to things you wrote

And would be so so so so happy if you ever made a reference to a work of his

Felix

I remember he said once that if he wasn't an idol, he would like to be a professional songwriter

So the fact that YOU are a songwriter/producer

He kinda loves you a little bit too much

One thing he loves is to understand your thought process

If you ever let him see your notes,he will try his best to understand every little thing

Even if it's only words with no correlation all over the page

He loves to know how your mind works

And he wants to know where the inspiration comes from!

(If it's from him he will never shut up about it)

Loves to know the stories behind each one of your works

He feels like he gets to know you a little more every time he listens to something that is yours

Is always covering one of your songs on lives

Seungmin

Literally everything you could've asked for, both in the dating aspects and in professional aspects

He makes sure you never overwork but will never restrain you from your work

Like, he knows that sometimes the inspiration comes at 2AM. He won't shut off your notebook, he'll be up with you and guarantee you don't stress

And he's your most honest critic

If you need help with rhymes, structure, chords or whatever, he is there

(After dating him you rarely browse anything at Google anymore, seungmin always understands the specific vibes you want)

And if you are a songwriter/ composer who doesn't know how to sing (that's me criticising myself) he always volunteers to make the demo for your songs

As I said, everything you could've ever asked for in a partner and coworker

I.N

Now this one

The moment he discovered he was begging to see some of your work

It's crazy how many of your songs were included in the playlist he has of songs that remind him of you😭

Talk about soulmates

I also believe that he would love to help you with songs

Give him one chance and this man is already with a notebook open trying to come up with the best verse ever

But he really likes to hear you brainstorm as well

Just you in your comfort zone really makes him admire you

And he loves how he can feel closer to you

Just reading the lyrics you wrote ou listening to the beat you produced makes him feel like he is meeting you for the first time again

Always having a new impression of you

Will also sing any demos you want him to!

Masterlist | you'll probably like: if skz wrote a song for you

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Taglist: @yuyubeans

[lipglossanon]

Warm My Heart

Puppy!Leon S. Kennedy x fem!reader (one shot)

paid request from anonymous; thank you so much again!! I’m happy you liked it! 💜

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, hybrid AU, jealous Leon, kissing, dirty talk, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampies, multiple orgasms, knotting, shower sex

Proofread ✍️

Word count: 1990

Your best friend finally moved out on her own. She now owns a small house in a quiet little neighborhood, but truthfully, it’s only a few doors down from her parents (so not too much of a change of pace). She insists you visit one Saturday, wanting to celebrate her new digs as well as introduce you to the new hybrid her parents gifted her as a housewarming present. 

She’s seen pics of you with Leon and it must’ve made some kind of impression. To be fair, he is super cute. You definitely got lucky when you opted to adopt him at the spur of the moment. When Saturday finally arrives, Leon pouts and pleads to go with you— whining about missing you, his big blue eyes teary and beseeching.

“I’ll only be gone for a few hours,” you promise, petting his soft, fuzzy ears, “and if you’re really good, I’ll give you a little treat when I get back home.”

His tail wags a bit even as his ears droop, “I’ll be good, miss owner. Please don’t stay gone too long.”

“I’ll try not to,” you kiss his forehead, and he licks a wet stripe up your cheek as he bids you goodbye at the door.

You have a pleasant enough time at your friend’s house; her bunny hybrid is sweet and playful, but extremely shy. She cuddles against you on the sofa for a bit before scampering off to her room. It makes you miss Leon just that much more. Feeling a little homesick, you say goodbye to your friend (promising you’ll visit again soon) and head home. 

Leon’s been such a good boy lately that you’re not too worried about coming home to a messy house. Parking in the driveway, you can see his silhouette at the window before the curtain falls shut, and you smile, knowing he’ll be at the entryway as soon as you go inside. Swinging open the front door, Leon bounces on the balls of his feet, wagging tail a blur behind him. 

After you shut and lock the door, he’s all over you, scenting you all over. He suddenly freezes and growls low in his throat. 

“Why do you smell different?”

He presses his nose against your arm, dragging his face down your side, before kneeling in front of you and sniffing across your hip. 

“You probably smell that little bunny hybrid from earlier,” your tone gentle, hoping to negate any extreme jealousy, “she sat next to me on the couch.”

“Miss owner,” his hands grasp the hem of your skirt, bunching it as he slides his hands up your thighs, “it’s really rude to come home smelling like someone else.”

“Leon,” you gasp, stumbling back against the front door as he nuzzles against your panty clad mound. 

“Gotta make sure you know who you belong to, miss owner,” he laps at your cunt through the fabric, making you buck your hips. 

Pulling away, he lifts you over his shoulder and carries you all the way back into your room. Tossing you down onto the bed, he paws at your clothes until he’s able to pull them all off, leaving you totally nude for his hungry gaze.

“So pretty,” he pants, his tail thumping against the bed. “You smell so good, can’t wait to lick you up.”

He shuffles around to remove his own clothes before sitting between your spread thighs. Precum drools from the tip of his cock, falling in sticky strings down his shaft onto the bedspread. It makes your mouth water, but he doesn’t give you time to stare. Leon lays flat on his stomach, burying his face into your drippy pussy. 

“Oh, god,” you mewl, your hands reaching down to tangle in his soft hair, being careful not to hurt his ears. 

A hot, wet tongue flutters into your pussy drawing your attention down to the soaking wet mess between your thighs. Leon groans and flattens his tongue to lick a stripe up your cunt to suck your pudgy clit. 

“This pussy tastes like mine,” he huffs out, blue eyes looking up at you. “I own it, don’t I, miss owner?”

When you don’t answer, he bites your leg with a low snarl. Keening, you tug his hair a little harder. 

“Yes, yes, Leon, s’your pussy,” you moan, arching your hips towards his mouth. 

He gently nips your swollen bud and kisses down your soaked pussy lips to tongue fuck your hole. His hands come up and pin your hips to the bed as he devours your cunt, groaning and growling as he thrusts his tongue in and out of your pussy. Slick and spit run down your skin to pool underneath your ass. 

“Cum all over my tongue,” he uses one hand to pull the hood of your clit back, “so I can give you my puppy knot, breed you nice and full.”

He licks and kisses your exposed bundle of nerves until your thighs tremble. Slick drips from your hole nonstop as he suckles your clit into his mouth, tongue hot and slippery against the bud until your body jerks, orgasm whiting out your senses. 

“Good owner,” he says excitedly, “now I’m gonna cum all over you so you’ll smell like me.”

“What?” You slur out, pussy still throbbing. 

“You’ll see, pretty owner,” he grunts, shoving your thighs up over his hips as he jerks his cock. 

He presses the drooling head against your abdomen and strokes himself off, shclick schlick schlick echoing in your ears. Whining, he aims his cock up and shoots thick stripes of cum all across your stomach and breasts. You moan loudly. The hot sticky feeling of his cum coating your skin sends fresh arousal leaking from your cunt. 

“Don’t worry, I’m still hard for you,” he drags his cock down to rut against your slit, “won’t pop my knot til I’m inside your tight pussy.”

Mewling, you claw at the sheets as Leon notches the fat head of his cock at your hole and teasingly slips the first few inches in before pulling out. 

“Oh, please, Leon,” tossing your head back, you roll your hips, seeking more from him, “please.”

“So pretty, miss owner,” he hums low in his throat, pressing his cock inside your snug pussy, “you’re so perfect, and you’re all mine. Say it, and I’ll give you my fat puppy knot.”

“Give it to me, Leon, please,” you whine. “I’m all yours, promise. You’re my only sweet boy.”

He whimpers, hips jumping as he fucks into you sloppily, “Oh, miss owner.”

He bottoms out quickly, cock thick and heavy inside your fluttering walls. Your cunt squeezes and clamps down around his dick, making him grind against you. His tip grazes your cervix, and you wail, the pain melding into pleasure that makes your eyes water. Leon pulls all the way out before bullying himself back into your squelching hole, grunting as his balls smack against your ass. 

“So good, so tight,” he chuffs, ears perked and tail drumming against your legs, “gonna give you my pups, gonna knot you over and over.”

Leon leans forward and licks across your mouth, leaving a trail of spit. 

“Hold your tongue out,” he growls, his pupils blown wide. 

Your tongue lolls out of your mouth, and he laps at it, dripping saliva all over your chest. 

“Lick mine,” he murmurs before going back to pressing your tongues together. 

You whine, pussy leaking slick all over his cock while you and Leon lick each other's tongues, making a complete mess of your lips and chins. The spit that drips onto your chest makes your blood run hot. He pulls back to grab your wrists with one hand and hold them above your head. 

“Mmm, always so sweet, miss owner,” he grins, rocking forward and making you writhe on his cock.

“Feels so good,” you gasp out, eyes fluttering when he grinds across the spongy spot at the front of your cunt. 

Leon pulls out suddenly, and you cry at the loss of heat and pressure. He flips you over onto your stomach, making you yelp at the new change. Grabbing your hips, he angles your ass up higher before plunging his cock back inside your chubby cunt. 

“Leon, fuck, s’too deep,” you whine, drool slipping from your lips as your mouth drops open.

“Means it’s a good angle for my knot to take,” he groans, humping harder and faster, “my owner’s the best, got the best pussy, gonna keep you on my knot all the time.”

“Leon,” you moan, “I promise I’m all yours.”

Your breasts, sticky with cum, drag against the sheets as Leon’s thrusts jostle you across the bed.

“You’re squeezing me so tight.”

He drops forward and cages in your body, nuzzling against your neck and shoulders. Leon slips a hand underneath you, spreading open your pussy lips to flick and rub your swollen clit. He circles it over and over until that tight band of arousal in your core snaps. Crying out, you press back against him, legs shaking as he fucks you through your orgasm. 

“Fuck, ‘m gonna stuff you full, creampie this pretty pussy,” he groans, thrusting into you deeper. 

With every rock of his hips, you can feel the swell of his knot pushing against your hole, teasing you with the promise of Leon’s thick load. He nips and bites at your shoulders, hand softly rubbing your clit to make your pussy flutter and milk his cock. He pounds into your cunt a few more times before his knot finally pops—he shoves it into your soft walls, locking you two together. Hot, thick cum shoots out, painting your cervix white while Leon howls softly. 

“It’s so much,” you whisper, voice cracking. 

He grinds against you as he keeps spurting rope after rope inside your dripping pussy. 

“My pretty owner’s full of my sticky puppy cum,” he chuffs against your ear. “Once my knot goes down, I’m gonna stuff you full all over again.”

“Leon,” you mewl, pussy throbbing. 

His fingers continue to rub and tease your clit until a second orgasm washes over you, racking your body with pleasure as you squeeze around his dick like a vice. You sink into your bed and he follows you down, licking and kissing everywhere he can reach. 

True to his word, Leon keeps you on his knot for the rest of the day. Once it goes down the first time, he rearranges you until you're bent over the bed, pounding into your pussy until your legs practically give out. The third time, he helps you to the shower, but instead of washing you, he wraps your legs around his waist and knots you against the shower wall. 

His mouth latches onto your nipples, and he brings you off by just suckling the stiff buds as he pumps your knotted pussy full of cum. Once you beg him for a break, he relents. Helps wash you off once his knot deflates and slips from your hole, cum and slick dripping in thick globs down your thighs. He eagerly licks it up and eats it out of your pussy.

“Taste just like me,” he pants happily, wet tail slinging water as the shower head rains down on you both. 

“I’m too sensitive,” you plead with him, “let me rest, please, Leon. Be a good boy and let me rest.”

He hums happily, blinking water from his eyes as he looks adoringly up at you, “Alright, miss owner. She sure is swollen and wet.”

He runs a featherlight touch across your pussy making your thighs jump. Standing back up, he pulls you into a hug, kissing your cheek. 

“I’ll getcha cleaned up,” he murmurs. 

He helps you finish up in the shower before guiding you to his room since your sheets are totally trashed. Laying you down on his bed, you drift off with Leon snuggling next to you. 

[zeroeightzeroone]

homesick - han jisung

love collection

genre: hurt/comfort

pairings: fem!reader (infp) x idol!han jisung (istp)

warnings: none?

wc ~3.7k | moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

you miss your boyfriend–you miss him a lot.

how could you not?

all you have wanted to do for the past couple of weeks is throw your arms around jisung and hold him close. you want to keep your boyfriend so tightly against your chest that you're encapsulated by the warmth radiating off his body, the warmth that never fails to comfort you, resting your head against his chest to listen to how his heart beats in tandem with your own. you miss the physical closeness with jisung.

stray kids has been on tour since late april this year, and the last leg of the tour is expected to end early april next year. while that's quite a long time for the boys to be away, they'd be back in asia in late july and on a break until the tour kicks back up in early september. it's currently the beginning of july.

thankfully, you weren't taking any summer courses. through the grace of whatever higher power there is up there, you managed to convince your boss to let you work remotely so you could join jisung and the boys for two weeks during the japanese leg of their tour back at the beginning of june.

you loved watching jisung perform. seeing him firsthand from the crowd, in his element when he's on stage, performing his art and perfecting his craft, makes your heart lurch; you fall for the man all over again, watching him up there. seeing it firsthand is completely different from watching videos of him–you can feel the energy radiating off him when he's up there.

at the end of those two weeks, you and the boys ended up in the same place: the airport. you were boarding a plane back to seoul, and they were boarding a plane to their first tour stop in america. due to the influx of reporters and fans waiting at narita international airport, your goodbyes to the boys and their staff had to be in the hotel, inside your rooms, hours before checkout time.

knock, knock, knock.

"come in!" you call whoever is on the other side of the door; if it's any of the boys, then they will be accompanied by jisung, who has the extra room key for your room.

you grunt in a squatting position as you move your luggage from laying on the ground, on its back, to standing upright on its wheels. you hear the keycard machine beep from the other side of the door in confirmation as you're hunched over, wheeling your luggage up against the wall before standing up straight and rubbing your palms against your jeans. you watch as the front door opens to reveal the eight boys, jisung in front, holding the keycard to your hotel room. behind them, the managers and some guards come into the room with them, but the bodyguards stay outside.

"y/n!" felix whines with a pout as he pushes forward, running to you and enveloping you in his arms, "fly safe, okay?"

you pat the freckled boy's back appreciatively as you nod.

"make sure you text ji when you land, okay?"

"i will, but you guys will still be in the air when he gets that message."

felix pulls away, his hands on your shoulders as he looks at you, "still, it's the thought that counts." you smile and giggle at felix, who moves aside for the next couple of members to say their goodbyes to you.

your exchanges with jeongin, minho and changbin are on the shorter side; brief hugs with jeongin and changbin, who thank you for coming to support them in concert, meanwhile minho gives you a half hug and pats your head as he bids you farewell, thanking you for taking two weeks out of the many months jisung will spend talking about how much he'll miss you.

meanwhile, hyunjin, chan and seungmin's hugs last a little longer when you're swayed around a little bit and told to be safe, get a lot of rest on the plane and not miss them too much. chan lets you know that if there is any other time you're going to be free when they're on tour, let them know, and they'll arrange everything for you–from the plane tickets to where you're staying–anything at all.

seungmin, the member you're closest to after your boyfriend, whispers in your ear quietly to ensure it's kept between the two of you: "i know you're going to ask me to take care of jisung for you, so don't worry about that. don't worry about hannie; we all got him."

the reassurance brings a smile to your face, and your grip on seungmin gets tighter in appreciation. the boy sways your bodies back and forth, patting your back when you separate. when he pulls away, he steps aside to reveal your boyfriend standing there with a pout, his big, brown eyes glossy as tears build up at his waterline. you have to bite your lip to keep from sobbing.

you were already feeling on the verge of tears when felix came rushing in and pulled you into a hug. chan's words about arranging anything and everything if you're free, then seungmin assuring you that they'll look out for your boyfriend while on tour and now, here's your boyfriend, your hannie, your jisung, looking at you with teary eyes.

you open your arms and jisung runs into them, prompting you to take a step back at the sudden impact, but jisung's tight grip around your waist protects you from any chance of falling backward. jisung buries his face in the crook of your neck while your arms are wrapped around his neck, your chin resting on his shoulder as your eyes are squeezed shut. your grip on each other is tight, knowing that once either of you lets go, the next time you'll be in each other's arms is in two months.

jisung lets a choked whimper slip out that he tries to hide with a cough. you smack his back gently, "ya!"

you clear your throat, trying your best to stay composed and stern as you utter the next words.

"if you cry, i'm going to cry too!" your voice cracks and trembles as you speak.

"i'm not crying," he denies. though his voice is muffled from his head buried in the crook of your neck, you can clearly hear that it's softer than usual, shaky, and uneasy.

you let out a pained laugh, "liar." the tears flow down your cheeks as you hold him even tighter.

"i'm not lying!" jisung continues to deny. he lifts his head up from your neck, and you stand there, still in each other's arms, looking at each other, "see."

what you see is how jisung's cheeks are flushed, wet with tears that probably fell and landed on the fabric of the hoodie you're wearing, his lashes clumped together with tears as he tries to keep his lips pursed together when they're trembling and threatening to go back to that pout. on the other hand, your tears are freely falling as you stare up at your boyfriend through your fluttering lids, mouth opening and closing as you breathe heavily through your pouted lips, cheeks also flushed and damp. you smack his chest.

"what?" he whines.

you open your mouth to laugh at him, but instead, a sob comes out. you fall back into his arms and bury your face into his chest as you cry.

"look who's crying now," jisung retorts as his arms move around your body again, holding you close. one hand rests on the small of your back while the other caresses your hair.

"yeah, the both of you," minho teases and jisung glares at the boy, but the older one just smiles back.

the rest of the boys watch the exchange between you and jisung with a slight ache in their chests as they remember how hard it was to say goodbye to their friends and family before leaving. chan looks around and he gathers everyone to leave, wanting to give you and jisung a minute alone to say your goodbyes before the driver takes you to the airport.

pulling away, jisung moves his hands to your face and brushes your hair back, some strands sticking to your skin because of tears as you hiccup. even when your hair is out of your face, he continues to stroke your hair back while the other hand is on your cheek, gently caressing the skin with the pad of his thumb. the two of you stare up at each other, sniffling.

"i love you," jisung whispers, his voice hoarse from crying.

you nod, sniffling and hiccuping in return, "i love you too."

jisung smiles down at you, "hey, i'll be back before you know it."

your eyelids flutter as you blink quickly, and your hands play with the back of the sweatshirt jisung is wearing.

"i'll text you everyday," he reminds, "i'll call you as much as i can, and as much our schedules and the time zones allow for."

you sigh shakily, "i'm gonna miss you so much."

"i'm going to miss you so much too, my love," jisung brushes your hair back again, "god, i wish i could just take you with me. two months away from you? that's too long."

you snicker, nodding in agreement, "i do too. but hey, i'll get to see so many videos of you taken by stay, doing your thing on stage."

your boyfriend smiles, gazing down at you lovingly.

"i'm so proud of you. look at you," you sigh, lips curled up in a smile, "my boyfriend is going on a world tour."

"do you know what that means?" you tilt your head in confusion, "souvenirs from every stop that remind me of you!"

since he left, both of you have been sending texts daily and video calls whenever your schedules permit it and when the time zones line up enough so it isn't too early or too late for either of you.

sometimes your calls only prompt you to miss jisung even more, wishing he was next to you and that his voice wasn't just coming through a device while he's on the other side of the world, but the distance also means you continue to long for the day jisung comes home. you know his parents long for that day as well, his mother sending you texts every couple of days asking when you're free so you can go out together. as jisung likes to put it–spending time with her future daughter-in-law.

however, as the number of days away from jisung increases, the number of days before jisung returns also decreases. with that in mind, you try to stay positive and look forward to the day he comes home.

now that the boys are in america, they've been quite busy rehearsing, checking and then rechecking their formations and any technical details that could go wrong during the concerts, the process repeating at each venue as they sync up their equipment with the new venues. their team organizing and making sure everything is okay with the venue and other organizers. as a result, jisung has been too busy to call late at night as he passes out the moment he's in his hotel room from the venue, then waking up a couple hours later to hop on a flight to the next destination.

he sends you texts here and there throughout his day, sending random photos of himself and the members during rehearsals or before and after the show. on jisung's end, he sent a text over when he landed early in the morning, saying he could probably hop on a call quickly when he gets to the hotel, seeing as they're going to be in inglewood for a little over a week for two shows instead of one. you were about to leave work when the message came through. going home for the evening when the message reminded you of your phone call with jisung's mother.

"hello, eomeonim (mother-in-law)," you greet when the line connects.

"y/n, myeoneuri (daughter-in-law)," she speaks into the phone, her tone sweet as usual. she doesn't say anything for a moment before speaking, "is this a bad time? you don't sound like you're at home?"

"ah, sorry eomeonim," you apologize, "i just got off the bus, but i'm on the way home now. but don't worry, i can talk if you need me."

"ah okay, i won't keep you too long then, myeoneuri," she assures before continuing, "have you spoken to jisung on the phone recently?"

you hum as you think, "I think it's been a couple of days since our last phone call; why? is he okay?"

you hear jisung's mother sigh on the other end of the line, "i'm a little worried, if i'm honest," you hum in acknowledgment and she continues, "he sounded quite down on our phone call yesterday and the day before. he told me not to worry when i asked… i know this might be a lot, but would you mind talking to him? if it's you, he'll open up more–at least, he'll have talked about what's on his mind."

"yeah, yeah, of course," you agree, "i'll see if we can call tonight, and i'll check up on him, see how he's doing, eomeonim. don't worry too much, i'm sure ji is okay!"

she chuckles on the other end, "ah, you sound just like him, y/n. don't tell him i sent you!"

you laugh in response to her rushed addition at the end of her statement: "i won't say anything," she sighs in relief, "was there anything else you were curious about?"

she hums, "nothing else, thank you so much, myeoneuri. i'll see you on the weekend, okay? come over whenever you want! the door is always open for you!"

your cheeks flush in embarrassment as you smile, "thank you, i'll see you in a couple of days. bye eomeonim!"

"goodbye, myeoneuri! get home safely. i love you," she bids her farewells, which you exchange right back with her before she hangs up the call.

thinking back to that conversation, you wonder what worried jisung's mother about him; was it how he spoke? his tone? the words he used? was he quite active in the conversation, or did he seem more passive? you wonder what exactly she meant by jisung sounding quite down, but you guess you'll figure it out when he calls you in the morning.

it's around eight in the morning when your phone rings from the bedside table. yunjin should already be awake and ready for work, so the ringer volume doesn't wake anyone up except you. you roll around, feeling around the bedside table for the device. you accept his call quickly and place the phone to your ear.

a deep yawn leaves your lips before you say, "ji baby?"

you hear him hum in acknowledgment on the other end before he replies, "yeah, baby, it's me." a sleepy smile forms on your lips at the sound of his voice. " did I wake you?"

you groan softly as you flick the lamp on, the sudden brightness causing you to squint, "yes but i don't mind. i just wanna hear your voice. are you back at the hotel now?"

"yeah, we got back a while ago. i just wanted to be ready for bed before calling; this way i can fall asleep while you're on the line," jisung explains, and you feel your cheeks heat up at his sentiments.

he continues to talk about what they did today. you're gradually more awake and more attentive as the minutes pass, so eventually, you realize what jisung's mother was referring to when it sounded like he's been down. jisung is speaking monotone, his voice softer, and when he speaks, it sounds like his mind is elsewhere.

when he's finished, you decide to segway into that conversation, "how are you feeling?"

he pauses for a moment, taken aback before he shrugs, "i'm tired, it's been a long day of rehearsal. what about you? how are you feeling?"

"i'm doing good, i'm hearing your voice, so i'm doing great," you answer quickly before he tries to shift the conversation to you, "are you physically tired or?"

jisung is lying in bed as he speaks to you, looking up at the ceiling and thinking of his replies, "yeah. dancing and all."

"emotionally?"

"emotionally?" he repeats to which you confirm, "i mean… i'm okay–better now since i'm hearing your voice after a couple of days… it's been a busy last couple of days."

you nod, running a hand through your tangled hair as you listen to jisung on the other end. his tone is still distracted as his words graze over how he's feeling, avoiding delving deeper into it. realizing that maybe he isn't ready to delve deeper into his emotions, you allow him to shift the conversation to your life and what you've been up to while he's been on tour–asking you how work has been and if anything new has occurred. you answer jisung honestly; there is nothing new at work as it's the same job you've had since getting into university; the only new events would be the lunch you have on the weekend with jisung's mother, aunt and grandmother.

the latter part of your updates brings a smile to jisung's lips, his heart warming at the thought of the most important women in his life spending quality time together. but at the same time, hearing your updates about your life back at home, no matter how small you think they are or if they're the same things that always happen, has jisung's chest aching in a completely different way.

"ji?" you call, not hearing anything coming from his end, "did you fall asleep?" you pause to listen, to survey whether or not you hear soft snores or heavy breathing that indicate that he is indeed asleep.

instead, jisung responds after a couple of moments, "i'm still here. i'm awake."

"are you okay?" you wonder, "if you're tired then i can go–"

"no, don't go," he quickly interrupts, "sorry."

"don't apologize, i just wanna make sure you're okay," you reassure, and you hear him hum in acknowledgment.

"i miss you," he declares softly, his voice solemn as he speaks.

"i miss you too, ji," you sigh, instinctively clutching the pillow closer to your chest.

the boy on the other end ponders for a moment before continuing, "i miss you a lot. i don't really know how to explain it," jisung blinks up at the ceiling, "i miss you all the time, but when we get back to the hotel or when i'm not performing, i miss you even more."

jisung's eyebrows knit in frustration as he continues to explain himself.

"i love being on stage, i love performing," he states, "i can't explain how i feel when i'm performing either, but… there's a feeling of contentment or fullness? i don't know… i just know i love to be up there. but…"

"but?" you encourage him to continue as his words trail off.

"but when i get back to the hotel, or when it's all over, i feel tired: the adrenaline doesn't last as long as it usually does. but even though i'm tired, it's hard to fall asleep."

you aren't sure where to place jisung's words, unsure if you've ever felt the way he's been feeling lately, uncertain if you can relate, but at the least, you want to understand and reassure him that you're there.

"there's a feeling of emptiness that kinda just sits there when i'm not on stage," his voice is softer when he says the word 'emptiness' like it's a fragile word, one he's unsure of, "i wasn't sure what it was before but listening to you talk started to help me realize what caused the emptiness."

"something i said helped you realize?" you repeat for clarification.

"yeah, listening to you talk about home, work, the local cafes, the conversations you have with my mom–just everything about your life at home," jisung lists, "i'm feeling homesick."

your lips part in awe when the last word leaves his mouth, the singular word allowing you to reconceptualize what he said previously and gain a greater understanding.

"i tried my best to distract myself and rehearse more to combat those feelings of emptiness but nothing seemed to work; it just stuck there. listening to you helped combat some of my homesickness but…"

"but it's still there," you finish his sentence, and he agrees with a sigh.

"i love being onstage, i feel so alive when i'm up there," now, when jisung speaks, his tone is clearer, and his thoughts are clearer, the way he's speaking signalling that instead of being lost in his own thoughts he's got both feet on the ground and he's working through them, "but i miss home so much. god… i miss you so damn much."

you smile sadly when you hear him sniffle.

"i miss my bed at the dorms, the air fryer at the dorms that we don't even use. i miss the smell of your laundry detergent and shampoo, i miss being in your arms, and you playing with my hair. i miss being at home."

jisung cries softly as he speaks, sniffling and continuing to list off the things that he misses at home. it brings tears to your eyes; using your comforter to dab the tears off your face.

"hey…" you call into the phone, "would it help if i sent little voice messages throughout the day so you could hear my voice? i can send pictures of things you love here too? just a couple more weeks, and you'll be here, and i'll hold you so tightly you get sick of me."

"i'll never be sick of being in your arms," he remarks, "and if it isn't too much, i would love that, all of it." jisung smiles at your suggestions, appreciative of you and your ideas to help him combat his homesickness until he's back in seoul.

"i'll try my best."

"baby?" he coos, prompting a soft response from you, "do you think we can video call? i wanna see your face before i sleep. can you stay until i fall asleep?"

your cheeks heat up from your boyfriend's suggestion, and your heart feels giddy at seeing his face for a couple of minutes before he falls asleep. " of course, baby."

[eightballspins]

(〃ω〃) soul reuniting with his streamer bf

pairing : soul (p1harmony) x male reader

warnings: none :)) oh wait, reader is japanese - speaks japanese and a lil korean - but other than that theres no physical description being described so i hope it still is relatable (he had to b japanese for the plot ‼️)

rating : just fluffy pining and subtle (not so subtle) clingyness from shota <3 abrupt ending (?) a lil bit, sawrryyy

-> pt. 1 , maybe a short series because i feel this is just too cute + i feel like this was written rlly messy so pls excuse that and just look at how cute soul is pls.

wc : 4.1k+

the two of you met way before he even became a trainee and stayed close throughout his whole journey. being one of the few people he kept close from his hometown, he is always eager to talk to you and catch up — even if you guys are now very far from each other.

while he pursued his dream of becoming an idol, you were working towards your own, which was to become a popular streamer. with how oversaturated the market is, it took you quite a while to make a name for yourself. luckily, you had a strong support system in shota and the loved ones surrounding you. and all the hard work and effort you put into this dream eventually paid off, in two years time you were a well known name in the gaming community, not just in japan, but internationally.

shota liked tuning into your streams whenever he could, playing them around the dorm and watching them at full volume as he was entranced completely by you. the members wondered why he would be so invested in your streams, beginning to recognize your face from how often shota would watch, but did not know how deep your relationship with the boy was.

he kept his love life a secret from everyone, including the members, to play it safe. he was still young and even though he knew how much he loved you, he doubted he would be able to convince those around him how serious this relationship was for him and they’d just end up forcing a break up to happen between you two. he knew he could trust the members to not be completely doubtful of his relationship, but he still didn’t really see a rush in telling them.

meanwhile, since they thought that he was just watching some random dude streaming, they didn’t pester him about it, noticing that you were japanese and immediately marking it up to shota finding some sort of comfort to his homesickness.

“sho, guess what?”

he immediately made a face at the question, making you laugh at his suspicions.

“what?” he asked, wondering what had you so smiley. naturally, it made him smile in return, ear to ear with his eyes crinkling at the ends.

you didn’t say anything, instead showing him the plane ticket that was in your hand, as well as the passport that was accompanying it. he leaned forward to the phone screen, eyes comically blowing wide as he physically jumped into the air.

“oh my god!” he exclaimed in english, making his members snap their head in his direction at the sudden screech. he began giggling like a kid, running in place to physically get out all of his emotions of excitement and anticipation. “are you serious? are you really coming?!”

the members looked at each other in confusion, wondering if any of them could translate what he was saying from japanese to korean. then they watched in even more confusion with the way he threw himself into his room and shutting the door behind him rather excitedly.

“yep! my flight is in thirty minutes, i’ll be there in, hm, 3 or 4 hours?” you grinned, trying to be mindful of your volume as people were beginning to stare at you for your excited whispers to your phone.

“[name]! you’re really coming?!” he repeated again, throwing himself onto his bed and hugging one of the stuffed plushies you had bought him. “are you really coming?”

“yes, shota! why else would i be at the airport?” you laughed, spinning the camera around to show your surroundings, “i think i might have to hang up soon though, the people are starting to whisper about me,”

“no, no, stay on the phone until your plane leaves! promise, i’ll be quiet,” he pleads, looking at you with nothing but adoration and love, hugging the plushie tight as he imagined it were you instead. well, it would be in a couple of hours, which he found to be unbelievable.

“hm, ok, ok, until the plane leaves then,” you agree, nodding and internally cooing at how cute your boyfriend is, “what should we do when i get there?”

“eat! eat!” he chants, “then shopping? we have to get you some souvenirs. wait, how long are you going to be staying? do you already have a hotel? maybe the managers will let me have you stay in the dorm-”

his rambles continued on beyond that, the words leaving his lips before he could realize. but you simply let him go on, smiling at the animated expressions he was using while he talked and how audibly excited he was at your surprise visit.

“no, no, don’t, i already have a hotel booked, it should be pretty close to your dorm…if i was understanding the directions correctly when i booked,” you commented, crossing your fingers for shota to see, “my korean still isn’t the best, but i’ve been studying for a long time,”

“it’s probably better than mine,” he comforts, making you frown at his comment. he raises his hand in defense, swiftly apologizing for the slight self-deprecation.

“i’ll be there for about a month? i didn’t know your exact schedule, so i wanted to stay for a while in case it overlapped-”

“we already finished promoting for our recent song, so we don’t really have anything scheduled — besides morning and afternoon practices and lessons,” shota explained truthfully, grin widening as he realized he’d actually get to spend a lot of time with you.

“then, that’s perfe-”

you were cut off as there was an announcement made for you flight, making it known that boarding was beginning. shota frowned at the news, but reminded himself he’d finally get to see you in person in a few hours.

“i’ll see you soon, sho! promise the time will go by like this,” you snapped your fingers, making shota anxiously-excitedly toy with the soft fabric of the plushie.

“bye, i love you,” he says quickly, waving his hand towards the camera.

“i love you too, shota, i can’t wait to see you again!”

a blush is present on both of your faces at the farewell, but thankfully the camera doesn’t properly pick it up. you hang up after a couple seconds of waving bye, making shota turn onto his bed with a dreamlike look on his face.

in a split second, he’s turning over onto his stomach and making all sorts of noises into the thick mattress below him and ruining the neatness of his sheets as he flails around in bed. he thinks about how this would be the first time in about six years you two would see each other. and he gets all flustered at the idea, wondering how you have changed — how he’s changed and how you would react to it.

you’ve talked almost every single night since he’s left japan, but facetimes and phone calls can’t compare to the real thing. and he now feels nervous, butterflies in his stomach as he continues kicking into the bed.

“soul? what are you doing?” jongseob asked, peering into the room with a confused look on his face.

he stills in his actions, looking up from the pillow at his close friend and weakly replying, “boyfriend is coming.”

jongseob blinks several times before repeating what soul said, in a loud, shocked tone, “your what?!”

“boyfriend,” shota says, enunciating the syllables, “is coming. here. now.”

“what?! since when did you have a boyfriend?!”

“a what?!”

now the other members are barging into the room and surrounding soul, who’s still in a panic over how you’ll react to seeing him in person for the first time. keeho takes a seat next to him, placing both of his hands on his shoulders, “repeat what you told jongseob,”

getting tired of the entire interviewing process, shota speaks in a clear, definitive tone, “my boyfriend from japan is coming here, now. he’s on a flight, now!”

there’s silence that falls over everyone, taking in the words.

“well, that’s good, right?” keeho tries looking at the positive side, refusing to question shota further on why he never said anything about having a relationship, instead choosing to be comforting rather than demanding.

“no — well, yeah it is, it is! but what if he doesn’t like me anymore?” shota whispers, feeling himself grow more self conscious as he realizes what he had just said to his members.

“okay well, since we know nothing about him since it’s our first time hearing of him-” jiung slaps keeho on the back of the head, making the leader clear his throat and reword his sentence, “well, we don’t know much about him, but i’m sure him coming all the way here for you is a clear sign that he still likes you, shota,”

he remains silent, fiddling with the rings adorning his fingers. the others watch on, anxious and too shocked to really say anything else. so he shoots up from his bed, grabs his towel, and rushes to the bathroom to shower and freshen up, and also clear his thoughts.

in the newfound silence of the bedroom, they all look at each other.

“shota has a boyfriend?” intak repeats, still not believing the news, “why didn’t he tell us?”

keeho shrugs, that question being the main thing on his mind. he wonders if soul was burdening himself with such a secret for a long time and frowns as he thinks about how there might be more that he’s hiding.

“well, let’s not question him too much about it, if this guy is on a flight right now, that means that he’s gonna be here in a couple of hours. just, pretend that everything is normal, alright?” keeho advises them all, motioning for them to leave the room to give shota privacy when he gets out of the shower.

after the flight that was a little over three hours long, you finally touched ground in south korea. you felt both giddy and nervous over being reunited with your boyfriend after so long, but tried to not focus on the nerves too much. after going through airport security and securing your luggage, you opened an app on your phone, about to call for a taxi to take you to your hotel, but a shadow standing in front of you distracted you.

looking up in confusion, your furrowed brows became relaxed the moment you recognized who it was. it took a couple of seconds considering they were wearing a beanie that covered their hair and a mask.

but you could easily recognize shota’s eyes from a mile away.

he was standing in front of you with a bouqet of flowers proudly in front of him, as well as a plushie keychain of sorts also attached to the bouqet.

“sho-chan!” you cried out, pulling him into a hug immediately, which he reciprocated in a second. the flowers were crushed in between the both of your chests, but neither of you minded. he rocked the two of you back and forth, the mask on his face covering his grin, as he breathed in your scent. “why are you here? what if you get caught?”

“i needed to see you,” he whispered, still holding you so tight it was borderline suffocating. his arms were around your waist as his hands went up and down your back, fingers slightly digging into the fabric of your clothes. as if he were grabbing for you, trying to understand that you really were in front of him.

this wasn’t one of his dreams.

“i missed you so much,” you said, smiling into his chest as he kept running his hands up and down your back. you tried pulling away, but he was pretty adamant in keeping you against him. it took pinching his side with laughter before he could release you. and even then, he still had his arm around your shoulder to keep you close. “so, what are you do-”

“[name]-san! welcome to korea!”

it was a sudden exclamation of pretty off-sounding japanese. you looked behind shota and saw five heavily disguised individuals holding a sign reading the words they had just said, as well as one of them holding flowers.

“what is going on?” you ask, voice breaking into laughter at the awkward scene.

“my members, they wanted to come so that they could say hello to you,” shota explained quickly, “i just told them today, that you were my boyfriend, so i think they were really excited…they seem more excited than i do,”

you watched shota’s reaction carefully, to see if there was any hint of how they took the news, but he was just relaxed and embarrassed of their activities, not at all spiteful or hurt. so you simply smiled, taking his hand in yours and walking forward.

“thank you so much for the warm greeting,” you bow in thanks, taking the flowers from theo, and looking at each of them, “we can just speak in korean, by the way, no need for japanese,”

“yeah, they don’t speak it well anyway, so i doubt you’d be able to understand anything they said,” shota teases in his mother tongue, making you smack him on the chest as a way of scolding him for being so mischievous. but he only smiles wider, grabbing your hand in his and swinging it back and forth. “should we go?”

the rest of the members watch his comfortabilty with you, fond smiles on their faces, before nodding and agreeing that they should leave the airport before someone notices them. shota makes sure to stay close, holding you tight with a grin that he can’t wipe off of his face the entire time.

”so, [name], how did you and soul meet?” keeho asked, closing the door behind him as everyone was settled into the van. you sat at the window seat, shota next to you and jongseob on his other side. the remaining four were sitting in front of you, being able to look at you directly with the way the van’s seats were positioned.

“me and shota have known each other before he even came to korea for training,” you explained carefully, trying to keep the vocabulary simple so you didn’t confuse yourself, “childhood friends,”

“so when did you two starts dating?”

you look at shota, trying to remember the exact amount of time. he giggled quielty, deciding to answer, “i asked him to be my boyfriend a couple of months after our debut,”

the members tried fighting off the look of surprise on their faces, but it was hard when the news was so ground breaking. since debut, soul had been successful in keeping his relationship with you hidden.

“wait — hold on,” intak clapped his hands, pointing a finger at you with shock painted across his face. keeho smacked his pointing finger down in a second, glaring at the third youngest for his behavior, “i know you! i know your face!”

you became bashful, nodding your head at the man’s exclamation.

“wait, intak how do you know him?” jiung asked, confused even more, along with the rest of the members.

out of nowhere, theo was next to shout out, “oh! i know you too! this is crazy!” he said, looking at you and soul with wide eyes, “you never told us he was the one you always watch,”

“guys, what are you talking about?” keeho asked, making theo and intak both shout at the same time: “the streamer soul is always watching!”

shota covers his face in embarassment of his members’ antics while jiung, jongseob, and keeho all make sounds of realization.

“you’re so cool!” keeho says suddenly, also putting two and two together, “me and soul were watching you together one day, you’re really good at game. how did i not recognize you?” the last part was rhetorical, of course, but you simply shook your head in bashfulness.

“wait, this is so cool, soul’s dating him!” jongseob said, grinning ear to ear as he slaps shota’s shoulder several times. then he looks at you with a kind smile, “i watch your streams sometimes, you’re really cool!”

“huh? since when?” soul asked, hearing that piece of news for the first time.

“since i started playing honkai, he’s got good builds,” jongseob shrugs, looking at you with a kind smile, “wow, you look different in person, in a good way!”

shota rolls his eyes at jongseob’s compliment, but you thank him with a genuine smile and nod of your head.

“that’s really nice of you guys, i didn’t know shota would be watching it that frequently,” you said, feeling shy at the fact that these guys have probably all seen you look your worst on streams where you didn’t really care for your appearance.

”he watches you allll the time,” intak adds on, “always on his phone watching you!”

“and with no headphones, it’s at full volume too,” jiung says, briefly scowling at soul before sweetly smiling at you, “i guess he was just so proud that he wanted everyone in the dorm to know,”

shota waves his hand and makes noises to tell them to shut up, but their exposing of him doesn’t end there. they keep telling more and more about his behavior whenever he watched your streams, the entire car ride consisted of that while shota tried getting them to stop.

but you took each thing they said to you with a genuine smile and thankful nod. you were internally relieved that they were all very accepting and not even paying any mind to the fact that you and shota were both boys dating, just treating your relationship like any other — which you appreciated.

the entire car ride was light hearted and full of laughter, plus shota making embarrassed noises whenever they exposed him of his very down bad behavior that they were also piecing together. whenever shota would get particularly embarrassed, he’d hide into your shoulder and whine audibly enough to the point they also began teasing him for that.

finally, the van arrived to their dorm and they quickly explained, “let’s just eat dinner first before you go to your hotel room,” and they all seemed too excited to deny, since you thought that it would have been too burdensome. but with the way they were so eagerly guiding you to the building made you feel too welcomed to refuse.

“we tried cleaning up before you came, so if there’s any mess, please excuse it,” keeho says softly, looking a bit embarassed, but you just shake your head and tell him it was fine. shota is still lingering incredibly close, standing behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist.

“we bought a mix of korean and japanese food, so hopefully you find something you like,” jiung says, motioning for you to take a seat across from him and smiling excitedly at the sight of the food, “everything looks really delicious. i want to try the curry,”

“it smells very good, too,” you comment, the aroma of all the food surrounding you all. they all agreed with moans of pleasure, excited to finally dig in and soon, they were all grabbing their own pair of chopsticks and grabbing pieces of the food.

shota grabbed at least one piece of everything for you, excitedly watching you react to each thing you tasted. his dark eyes were seemingly permanently resting in a crescent position and his cheeks were always raised high due to his smile.

“is it yummy?” he asked after feeding you a spoonful of spicy tofu stew. you nodded with sounds of approval at the food, making the other member chuckle in agreement.

“here, try this one,” shota repeats, holding a piece of an unknown dish to your mouth. his hand is resting underneath it in case he needs to catch it. opening his mouth as he feeds you, eagerly awaiting your reaction once again.

he did this with every dish that was on the table, grinning happily and shaking your hands together every time you enjoyed it. jiung had to physically restrain himself from showing any sign of giddiness at how adorable the two of you were.

“so, what do you have planned while you’re in seoul?” keeho kindly asked.

soul was eagerly waiting for your response wanting to get any hint of anything that the two of you could be doing for the entire month you were together. trying to ignore his adorable eyes planted on you, you looked directly at keeho, “i have a lot of things i want to do and see, like the traditional villages and stuff, but also the other tourist spots…i’ve never been to korea before so i’ll be happy to see anything! i do have some stuff planned with shota, but, i can’t spoil them,”

the boys all nodded in understanding, looking pleased at the information.

“well, if you ever need anything, we’ll all be here for you,”

you thanked them for being so kind and that was the wrap up of your meal. shota was quick in pulling you away, the others not minding that he was skipping out on cleaning up since he was so visibly excited to be with you. he carried you into his shared room with jongseob by your waist, falling onto the mattress with a satisfied sigh.

despite not seeing you for so long, the level of comfortability was not at all forgotten. his awareness of his skin against yours was enough to make him crave it more, burying his head into your neck and tightening his hold around your waist. you laughed at the ticklish sensation, feeling his smile press against your skin.

you rolled over a couple of times until you were in a comfortable position. shota moved up to sit against the wall, letting you sit on his lap with your legs on either side of his, and resting his hands in yours, holding on tight.

“i can’t believe you’re really here,” he sighs, eyes blown wide as he takes the sight of you in, “i missed you so much, [name], you wouldn’t believe it,” his voice is quiet and soft, as if he wants these words to only exist in this moment alone.

his hand gently moves to rest on your cheek and your scared that he’d feel just how hot your skin was from the close proximity and his heartfelt words. but he can only smile at you so fondly, the cool feeling of his rings against your skin calming your racing heart (to an extent).

“always wanted to go back home to you,” he whispers, his other arm moving to wrap around your waist. he leans forward, making your chests meet at the sudden closeness, as well as vice grip around your middle half making you forcefully press against him.

“i missed you too, shota,” it’s soft, but he catches it and he smiles ear to ear at the confession.

“can i kiss you?”

it takes a couple of seconds to process what exactly he had said, but when it finally does click all you can manage is a nod. it’d be your first kiss together, but there wouldn’t be any more perfect of a time than now to have one. reunited after years of being apart, forcing a long distance relationship that you both knew would have sparse amounts of support.

his eyes are trained on yours, until he eventually flutters his eyes shut and leans in for the softest kiss in the world. he squeezes you closer, practically melting into you as he tries so hard to keep your lips on his for as long as possible.

when the two of you have to pull away, he’s already grinning ear to ear with a healthy blush on his face.

“i love you so much, [name],” he gently says.

it’s the easiest thing in the world to reply back, “i love you too, shota,”

┆pt. 2 would probably be more centered around how reader being a streamer acc impacts the plot lmao (like random ass ppl recognizing him on the street - which i think would b rlly funny)

[merilaurecus]

Companions reactions to Modern!Tav speaking their native language

So consider isekai Tav whose mother tongue isn't English/common. So once when they think they're alone they speak to themselves in that tongue to ease the thinking process or just because of homesickness, until they realise someone was within earshot.

Gale

He know several languages himself because of his education, but your language is nothing like he's heard before

Stays quiet for a moment just to listen to it before making known he was there

"There's... how many languages?!"

Loves it and wants to learn more, especially if using your language makes up for your homesickness a bit (he knows the feeling well enough to be compassionate about it)

Will ask you to tell stories even if he can't understand it. He's just amused.

The grammar and orthography also fall under his umbrella of interests, happily listens to it even if it's complicated (like my first language is polish so dude would pass out within half of an hour of my ass doing its best to explain grammar)

Will also tell you about the languages he knows (calishite, netherse and so on)

You exchange your educational experience which turns into one big chat about education in your worlds

The vocabulary, the dialects, the jargon – this man needs to know it all. It's your time to yap about something and he'll absorb it all

If you know any other language(s) you've got a ton of approval from him for sure. Yes, he'll ask you to speak those as well.

He'll remember some phrases like greetings to help you with your homesickness

Astarion

He's an elf, so knows two languages since he was a little elfling

Actually surprised and curious when he first hears you speak it to yourself

Keeps it to himself but stays within earshot for a longer moment than he'd like to admit

Asks you about that the morning after in his poshy manner, but you can tell you've got his attention (and this time it isn't about your neck)

Asks about languages back in your world, and when you say you actually know more than one (or even two) his elven ass is amused, though he'll do his best to hide it behind his usual mask

Won't ask about learning anything unless he's comfortable enough around you (give our traumatized boi time)

You'll hear him speaking elven to himself after you've told him it was because of homesickness (he'll try to remember a part of himself from before he was turned)

Actually inspired by you (once again he won't admit it unless you're close or he's comfy around you)

Once he fell asleep (k, got into his elven trance) listening to you telling yourself some story in your language but won't tell you (unless?)

If you get comfortable around each other he'll teach you a bit of elven

Alternatively to the above Shadowheart may know some simple elven phrases or words (like "friend" or something similar) and you surprising him with that gets you his approval, even if he'll be silent about it at first

Karlach

She's soo confused at first

Thrilled after you tell her that's your native language and that you actually know other language than common

Asks you for stories, then the slurs and swear words

Loves to hear it even if she doesn't get a thing

You know other languages?! She loves it. Will tell you sometimes she wishes she had the patience for the books

Understands if it's because of homesickness and won't mind if you mumble something not quite understandable under your breath

In few days she'll swear like a native or like Gale, she'll at least try to greet you in your mother tongue (she won't do it as smoothly as the wizard but she gets credit for trying, she's so sweet doing this)

Wyll

Much like Karlach

Curious and surprised to hear it, amused you know more than one language

He canonically said he picked up gith swear words so he'll pick up yours as well

Him and Mama K. will know best ones in no time

He respects your ability to learn new languages, he's much better with a blade than the books (unless it's mermaid smut)

Also understands your homesickness and if you're speaking to yourself in other language than common will leave you to yourself (unless you switch to common and say if there was anything important about your quests)

Will gently ask if there's a story you can tell too, even if he can't understand. Anything that makes you feel better

Lae'zel

Does her best not to show interest or worse yet, curiousity

Is visibly surprised though

She also comes from a culture with a different language and you both sometimes lack words in common

You don't speak much about that but you help each other find exact words you've been wanting to use

None of you will admit it, it's a silent agreement

If you get comfortable enough around each other you'll exchange your vocabulary a little bit along with the homesickness

If you know more than two languages she'll be a tiny little bit impressed, but won't hesitate to say it's useless here (you kinda agree and didn't expect more from her)

Sometimes her tongue will slip and she'll swear in your language (and roll her eyes like in the gif above if confronted about it)

You'll do the same the other time, though shamelessly

Shadowheart

Heard you talking to yourself but couldn't make it out

Focuses her hearing on your words but she can't even name the language

"W-what are you saying?"

You were startled at first but you calmly explain you got homesick and needed something to connect you with your home, even if it's a stupid chat with yourself or f.x. Scratch

You tell her about your language and where it is from

She understands but is also in awe because of variety of tongues in your world

She knows a bit of elven, but that's probably it

Happily listens to any language you know and any story (even if she can't make a thing out of it). Our girl just doesn't remember much and if there's someone with bigger story she'll listen.

Bonus track

Imagine using the tadpole to let companions understand your mother tongue!!! Bet that Gale's sage ass would be elated to not only hear but UNDERSTAND the whole ass language from the other world. The others wouldn't be as amused but Gale? He'd be so freaking happy I can't –

(yes I'm a feral Gale girlie, why?)

[sluttygallavich]

Galladrabbles: homesick

This week's @galladrabbles is based on the prompt "homesick" from @sickness-health-all-that-shit. <3

I think a lot of people are going the angsty route this week, so here's some slightly smuttier fair to break up the ouchies.

_________________________

“Are you close, baby?”

It’s been three days and Mickey feels sick with need. 

“Please, Ian . . . I can’t do it again . . . please . . .” He holds onto the base of his cock for dear life. He’s right there, Ian’s voice through the phone bringing him to the edge and back for over an hour.

“Aren’t you going to answer the door, Mick?”

“What—?” He hadn’t even noticed. “No, please, just—  need to come so bad. I’ve been good, I’ve—”

This time the sharp knock on the motel door is impossible to miss.

“Be a good boy then and come answer the door.”

[lovelyjj]

Heyyy, I’ve come to ask for your words again, can we do a JJ finding out you write poetry about him?? I write poetry and was wonderin, thanks in advance!!!

💜 anon

Poetry

jj maybank x reader

wc: 937

a/n: one of the poems I found on pinterest creds to the original here is the link

It was no secret that you and JJ were close. The two of you were the perfect pair. You were always together. What started off as a friendship quickly turned into a romantic relationship.

You and JJ practically lived together. You had a couple drawers in his room at John Bs. You were always over there spending time with JJ. You liked your little routine. You went to work at a coffee shop a couple mornings a week.

Then you went to the château to meet up with JJ. You would do everything together. You’d go on rides on his dirt bike, swimming in the marsh, going out on the boat, drinking in the hot tub, the list was endless.

This particular evening you were in the hot tub with the pogues. You were drinking and laughing and enjoying each others company. It was times like these you found yourself grateful for having such great friends.

JJ pulled you onto his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder. He wasn’t really listening to the conversation at all. He was distracted with your body pressed against his.

“So how are things with you and Pope,” you asked Kiara who was right next to you.

“It’s good it’s just kinda weird since we’ve been friends for so long and now that we’re together it’s like how do we do this. But i like him a lot,” Kiara whispered.

“That’s good,” you responded.

“You and JJ seem as great as ever.” Kiara commented.

You nestled into JJ’s touch, “Yeah we are.”

“I’m happy for you” Kiara replied.

You talked with your friends while enjoying the warm water. When you were finished in the hot tub you went inside the château.

—————

The next morning you left the château early to go to work. JJ was bummed because he loved waking up with you. Eventually a couple hours later JJ woke up.

JJ decided to get up and get ready for the day. He was looking for a certain shirt that you happen to wear to bed and go home in. He was looking everywhere. He even looked in your drawers.

He sorted through your clothes in the drawer. He lifted up your clothes and that’s when he found a notebook. Now JJ wasn’t one to go through and look at your private things but he wondered what a notebook hidden under clothes would have in it.

JJ opened it to the first page and what he saw shocked him. It was a poem.

he is like sunshine

filling me up with joy

he is my sunshine boy

Then he flipped to the next page, another poem.

I think i found the love of my life

i think i might one day be his wife

when he kisses me I feel alive

when he holds me is when I think we thrive

He flipped the the next page after that.

blonde locks blue eyes

tan skin pink lips

he looks like a dream

Another page.

I’ve tasted your lips,

your skin

and never realized

I was deprived.

Your kiss, your touch

that awakens my soul,

making me want more.

I didn’t know

I would crave you so much.

I never realized

I was even homesick,

until

I found you.

The notebook was filled with poetry about him. He was filled with warmth. He couldn’t believe you wrote love poems about him. JJ thought that was one of the nicest and sweetest thing anybody has ever done for him.

JJ thought you were a skilled writer. Your poetry was perfect. He almost cried he was so moved by your beautiful writing. JJ made a mental note to bring this up to you when he sees you next.

——————

A few days later you were on your way to the château. You missed JJ even though it’s only been a few days. The plan was to just hang out and watch movies nothing special.

John B was in the kitchen when you walked in.

“Hey John B,” you greeted.

“Hey Y/N, JJ is in his room,” he stated.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

You made your way to JJ’s room excited to see the man of your dreams. You knocked on his door and he said to come in.

“Hi Jayj,” you exclaimed.

“Hi sweetheart,” JJ got up from his bed and gave you a hug.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and when you pulled away from the hug you gave him a kiss on the mouth.

“Mhhmmm, missed you mama,” JJ hummed after the kiss.

“I missed you too,” you replied.

“I wanted to ask you something,” JJ requested.

“Yeah sure shoot.”

“Um I found this journal, and and it’s filled with poems. I just i never knew you were a poet.” JJ explained.

“You were never supposed to see those,” your hand hit your head.

“I’m glad I did, I can’t believe you wrote those things about me.”

“Well you’re my muse my inspiration, you’re the air that I breathe,” you expressed.

“Oh my love, I love you so much. I hope you know that. I’m flattered. You should be a writer.”

“I love you too. And hey maybe I will but I’m shy and scared to put my work out there.”

“You never know.”

“You’re right who knows,” you threw your hands up.

Then you launched yourself at JJ and tackled him to the bed and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“You make writing poetry so easy because every time I look in your eyes I see a world of possibilities.”

[jeankirsteinsgirl]

Omg I’m ovulating and I need Jean right now 🥸could you pls write something about country boy Jean and a shy reader 🙈 I just know he is so charming, low key kinda cocky, and drives a pickup truck 😿😋

Your wish is my command

Save a horse Ride a...

WC: 5.5K (i promise its worth it)

Summary: city girl reader comes home to her family far and sees Cowboy Jean

CW: finger-sucking, cunnilingus, creampie, slut, good girl, princess, sweetheart, Jean has a huge cock, slight dumbification, slight degradation, doggy, spanking. NSFW MDNI 18+!!!

It’s been a few months since you’ve been home but you’ve really been missing the small back-roads town you grew up in. Growing up, generally, no one really left your home town so it was rather unusual for you to take a job in a big city a few hours out. No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself you knew in your soul you longed for the sound of the crickets at night under the full moon, the one diner in town with the absolute best burgers and shakes, the smell of your family’s farm wafting through your open window at night, and how much brighter the stars shined under the wide country sky. 

You missed it more than you cared to admit, so coming back home to work on the farm for two months this summer didn’t sound too bad. Your mom posed the idea one night when you were ranting to her about the stress of your “big city job” over the phone and she suggested you were just homesick and needed to take some time off, get back to your roots, and she was right. So here you were driving down the interstate through miles of nothing on either side in your fancy new car that dramatically contrasted with the dusty environment around you. You knew you’d hear a bunch of grief from your friends and family about how you dressed now and the loss of your sweet southern accent but you were prepared. Pulling into the long gravel driveway of your family's farm just on the outside of what was actually considered “town” you saw your dog run down from the front door to excitedly greet you. You walked out slamming your car door and slinging your bag over your shoulder before smothering your best friend with pets and kisses “Wish you’d do that to me sweetheart” came from a low raspy voice behind you in that signature cocky southern tone, you didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. Of course, it was him, your father's favorite farm hand, Jean. How could you forget that he’d be here? 

You and Jean had a long history, and by history you mean the ongoing phenomenon of you secretly pining after him for years as he worked for your dad and him constantly flirting with every woman he laid his eyes on. He was very popular around town, especially among the girls. When you were home you’d always see Jean dragging back a different girl to his cabin next to the horse stables and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, deep down feeling just a twinge of hurt that it wasn’t you. 

You just rolled your eyes and stood up, walking towards the front door of the big white house you grew up in “C’mon darling, I don’t even get a proper greeting?” He said smirking while leaning his right arm against your car “I’ll see you later when I go to help out with the stables Jean..” you replied in a mildly annoyed tone promptly reaching the door of your house and slamming it shut behind you. You were already stressed out about your job the last thing you needed to be stressed about was Jean fucking Kirstein. 

You walked up the rickety old stairs stained with splotches of paint, dirt, and who knows what else before reaching your room, the first one on the right, unfortunately with a perfect view of Jean’s cabin through your big, open window. You quickly shut your curtains and turned away from the view. You were not doing that. Not again. You didn’t need to know who Jean was gonna bring home tonight and cry into your pillow like you were 16 again.

 So you unloaded your things onto your bed and walked back downstairs to your mom who had already prepared a huge lunch for you. She insisted working in the city with such a stressful job had made you far too skinny and you needed to “put some meat back on those bones” so she sat you down at the round dining table in the corner of the kitchen and placed a cornucopia of your favorite foods from when you were little, her famous southern mac n cheese, a few tenders of fried chicken, some green beans for vitamins, and of course a slice of apple pie complete with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream and a coke. “I’m never gonna eat all of this mama” you giggled looking down at the absolute feast laid in front of you, god you’d been here for maybe 15 minutes and your slight accent had already made a comeback. “Well baby whatever you don’t finish we’ll have for dinner how ‘bout that hm?” She said sweetly stroking your arm “Saw you talking to Jean out there. Such a sweet boy, that one. I know your father likes him a whole lot.” You laughed softly to yourself at your mother’s comment of Jean being a “sweet boy” not wanting to get into an unnecessary argument, all you asked in response was where your father was, considering it was strange he hadn’t greeted you in one of his famous bear hugs yet. You were informed he went into a town a few towns over to pick up some more cows for the farm and wouldn’t be back for about three days. Three whole days you will have to work on the farm with just Jean, without the presence of your father as a buffer. Great. 

You scarfed down the delicious meal your sweet mother so graciously prepared for you, maybe she was right, you hadn’t been eating enough. You put what was left over in your oversized fridge and thanked her once again for welcoming you back with such open arms. You did the dishes and took your dog for a run, trying to put off your farm responsibilities until tomorrow mainly for one reason in particular. Unluckily for you the path you took on the run winded through Jean’s smoking spot when he was in-between tasks, how could you forget that? 

“Hey, princess why don’t you take a break and sit with me, hm? Got an extra cigarette just for those pretty lips.” He exhaled, smoke ghosting over his lips as he patted the spot next to him with his large hand. As much as your heart longed to find some semblance of affection in Jean’s flirtation you knew you weren’t special, he flirted with every breathing female who crossed his path, and playing into that would only hurt your feelings more in the long run. So no you would not smoke with him, you had things to do, none of them being Jean Kirstein. 

“Don’t smoke anymore, ‘ts bad for you, you know.” You remarked annoyingly trying to come off completely disinterested in his advances. “Oh, I see, the big city’s turned you into a good girl huh?” he teased taking another long drag, god he looked so good like this. All sweaty from working outside all day, tan with a slight sunburn across his nose dotting just a few freckles, his hair pushed back. “I’m not about to take advice from someone with a mullet” you scoffed and continued your walk as he protested behind you, it was hard to walk away from the opportunity to sit with him but you had to do it. You couldn’t run the risk of being any more captivated by him than you already were. 

After you returned from your walk and had been sulking in your childhood room a few hours later the time had come, like a doomsday countdown your mom stalked your door and asked why you hadn’t been out to see the horses yet. “They miss you a whole lot honey, don't know why you’re leaving 'em all high and dry like this.” She said with a slight tone of disappointment. She was right, it had been forever since you’d been in the stables and you couldn’t let Jean keep you from the horses forever, besides that wasn't fair to them. You’d just have to tough it out. Who knows maybe he’ll be somewhere else when you decided to go check up on them and perform your chores. 

You agreed with your mom and sighed as you pulled your body away from the soft comfort of your warm bed. It was boiling hot out so you needed to change it if you were going to be doing any actual work. You threw on a tank top and pair of old cut-offs you’d cut from jeans when you were 17. You looked pretty good you weren’t gonna lie to yourself. You headed downstairs out the front door and into the stables. Luckily it appeared the only living thing inside was the horses. You breathed a sigh of relief as you greeted each of them, pressing soft kisses to their noses and scratching the special spot they like behind their ears. You noticed at least two of them needed a bath, god does Jean even do anything around here besides antagonize you? 

You set your hat on a fence post and led one of the horses out into an open area where she could be bathed. You grabbed the hose and went to work scrubbing her silky mane and making sure to get her hooves as well. While you were diligently working on the task before you, Jean returned from wherever he was previously causing trouble. You caught him out of the corner of your eye just outside the big open doors of the stables talking to a tall blonde girl. “Yeah baby ‘ll see you later tonight all right,” he said in that sly seductive tone as he pushed some of her fried blonde hair behind her ear, and even worse you could see his large calloused hand resting on her ass. God you wanted to disappear right then and there, why did you have to be subjected to Jean’s promiscuous affairs? You pretended not to notice and continued working a brush through the black main of the horse in front of you “Can you believe him” you whispered to her “You probably can I guess, you must see it all the time” you said as you began to work little braids in the freshly brushed out mane. “Hey Princess picking up my slack huh” his voice came from the open doors as he stomped his way towards the other horse that needed to be bathed. “Not really, I’m just doing what needs to be done around here. Someone has to.” You scoffed in response to his obnoxious comment, how could you be so into him when he’s so aggravating?

You couldn’t stop thinking about his hand on that girl’s ass and his promise of seeing her later tonight, the look of lust behind his pretty amber eyes. Why couldn’t that be you? It’s not like his standards were high and you weren't ugly… why had he never chosen you. “What you thinking about over there pretty girl?” he said “Nothing just trying to get my work done so I can go back home” you replied nonchalantly not wanting him to see behind your facade. So you finally got your work done and succeeded in avoiding Jean for the rest of the night. You kept your promise to your sweet mom and ate your leftovers with her at the dining table before heading up to your bathroom for a hot shower. As you soaped up your body you thought of his hands, how they would feel against your soft skin, what his lips would feel like against yours, then you thought of her. About how he’s probably bottoming out in her as you were showering and the thought made you shiver. You could always check… He left his curtains open all the time, you could see what he was doing right now. No that’s pathetic. You're not 16 anymore. You quickly finished your body and wrapped yourself in a warm towel before walking back down the hall to your room to get dressed for the night. You finished up your nighttime routine, brushed out the long locks of your thick hair, and threw on a big comfy shirt you kept from one of your past boyfriends.

Walking to your bed to scroll through your phone for a little bit the curtains blew open from the movement of the air and you could briefly see into Jean’s window. You didn’t turn around, for about 5 minutes that is. You couldn’t stand not knowing what he was doing. You had to know if he kept his promise of meeting that girl, so you slowly walked over to your window and took the thin fabric of the curtain between your fingers, carefully moving it to the side.

Your fears were confirmed when you looked straight into his bedroom and saw his slender fingers digging into the hips of some girl with a terrible fake tan. Her face was contorted in pleasure and you could even hear them as Jean was making her scream around him due to their proximity. You saw his face too, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration and little strands of his brown hair making their way into his eyes, a red tint across his cheeks from exertion and a slight glimmer of sweat against his skin. You shouldn’t be watching this, this is a private moment between Jean and whoever his girl of the night was, but you couldn’t help yourself. The way his hips snapped up into her with delicious fervor just had your mind wandering about how that would feel if it was you instead. His abs contracting with each thrust had your hands wandering down the hem of your cotton panties as you sat back on the edge of your bed. Your eyes were glued to him the entire time as you slowly played with the wetness pooling between your legs, dipping your fingers inside yourself imagining they were his. You felt yourself getting closer and closer to orgasm as your breathing grew deeper and more labored. His grunts and groans were music to your ears as you felt yourself slipping over the edge. You called out his name as you let go, your body shaking with pleasure.

Your eyebrows now too were furrowed in pleasure as you watched him please the girl bouncing on top of him, You briefly shut your eyes as you got closer to your approaching high, imagining he was thrusting into you, whispering nasty things about how good you were for him. You wanted him- no you needed him so badly. As you came on your delicate fingers you opened your eyes to the pornographic scene displayed through your window, and whether you imagined it or not you could've sworn for just a second that Jean’s eyes were on you, watching your body heave up and down at the pleasure you gave yourself. But just as soon as it happened it was gone, he was whispering dirty inaudible things to the girl below him, you weren’t sure if he spotted you watching him at all. 

No, he didn’t, it was just your imagination, you decided. Jean’s never been in your room, he doesn’t know you have a view of his house from your window so why would he look in your direction at all? It just doesn't make sense.

Having found comfort in your conclusion that Jean had not caught you touching yourself for him while he fucked another girl, you quickly washed your hands and tucked yourself in for the night, dreading having to see him tomorrow. You lay in the dark and thought about the situation. You wondered if you should confront him or just pretend it never happened. Your heart raced as you tried to decide what to do.

Unfortunately, the sun rose the next morning, bringing about a new challenge of having to face Jean after the last night. You slept in for as long as you could, hoping to burn the daylight and not face him any sooner than was absolutely necessary. Your mom, however, knocked on your door around 10:30 to make sure you were feeling okay, as it was unusual for you to sleep in on the farm, thus beginning what would be a painstakingly long day. You ate a quick breakfast of microwaved oatmeal, you figured if you had to face him, it would be better to get it over with, kindly declining your mother's invitation for a home-cooked breakfast. You made your way back upstairs and threw on your uniform of a tank top, hat, and jean shorts before slowly walking towards the barn to begin your tasks for the day. Surprisingly Jean wasn’t in the barn when you arrived and instead were two new farmhands your dad recently hired from town. Teenage boys, looking for a little extra money on the side. This happened occasionally when the farm was under a little more stress than usual. You just tipped your hat to them and went on with your work as they did theirs. 

You were lugging bales of hay into a pile in the corner when you finally heard him arrive. The sound of his old pickup truck sputtering to a stop could be spotted from a million miles away. He stepped out and into the barn and surprisingly, he barely spoke to you all day. No sarcastic comments, no flirting, just a “Scuse me” every now and then when he’d accidentally bump into you.

It was nearing the end of the day which had gone at a surprisingly fast rate without being taunted by Jean. You were wrapping up your chores and started to say your goodbyes to the farm hands when he walked up to you. “Hey princess wanna come back and have a drink with me on my porch, we gotta lotta catching up to do. Wanna talk to you before you run off again.” He said in a more sincere, but slightly arrogant manner, a tone of mystery to his voice. You decided you’d have to talk to him at some point and after last night you’d have to get over your stupid little schoolgirl crush on him. You figured actually having a conversation would be good exposure therapy to get a head start on getting over him. 

So you followed in his large footsteps back to his rusty old truck he’s used to pick up countless girls and sat down in the front. He pulled out of the driveway of the stables and it was a quick 3-minute drive back to his house. The drive was quiet and the expression on Jean’s face was one you hadn’t seen in all your years of knowing him. It looked like there was a marble rolling around in his head. What was he thinking about? God, what you would do to find out. He stepped out of his old truck and swung open your door for you, what seemed like a sincerely nice action, very out of character for the Jean Kirstein you knew. You quietly followed him up the wooden stairs to a set of old dilapidated rocking chairs on his front porch. He motioned for you to take a seat, and he sat in the chair next to you. You both sat in silence as if he was waiting for you to say something. You braced yourself for whatever it was he wanted to talk about.

As you sat he flung open the screen door to his house and returned a minute later with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He poured two drinks and handed you one. He held his glass up and said, "Cheers." You clinked glasses and sipped your drink, still anxious about not knowing what was on his mind. He leaned back, drink in one hand and the other behind his head as he rocked back in his chair. Suddenly the realization of what was happening hit you, what do you even say to him Do you know I’ve liked you for 5 years? Why were you banging that trashy blonde girl last night? Did you see me touching myself for you? Your thoughts wandered everywhere except acceptable conversation topics. You opened your mouth to try to say something, but nothing came out. You simply stared at him, unable to process the situation and all the emotions running through you, eyes focused on his piercing amber gaze.

"Missed having you 'round here princess," he said nonchalantly as he rocked back in his chair, seemingly lightening the mood. He felt the tension too and wanted to make you more comfortable. You swallowed the lump in your throat and found your voice again. You managed a small smile and replied, "Missed being here I guess." You shrugged and looked up at the ceiling before swallowing a large sip of the whiskey, hoping it would give you a little liquid courage. "Big city girl now huh? Not used to being back on the farm." He chuckled and you could feel the tension dissipate slightly, yet still uncomfortable. The question had been stirring in your brain all day. Had he seen you? Is that what he wanted to talk about? He handed you the bottle and you both sat in a brief silence, watching the fire flicker in the lanterns lighting up the doorway. "I'm still me Jean, just been gone a while that's all…” you trailed off awkwardly “Still know my way around the farm." He smiled and you felt an overwhelming sense of relief wash over you. You smiled back, grateful for the reminder that you were still the same person underneath it all. "Seems like you forgot your manners, sweetheart." He chuckled as he stretched his arms over his head, revealing the little trail of hair hiding just above the hem of his jeans as you tried not to stare for too long. 

Taken aback, you tried to understand what he meant had you said something? “Well I don’t think I’m the one who’s been rude lately Jean, you barely looked at me all day. Might’ve said all of three words.” You said with furrowed brows, your voice trailed off sounding a little angrier than intended, accidentally letting your frustration out. “Oh yeah? And why do you think that is princess?” he said a small smirk forming on his face as he sipped his whiskey. “I dunno” you whispered under your breath as you looked down at the floor to avoid his intense glare, feeling your heart speed up. “Didn’t your daddy ever tell you it’s rude to look in people’s windows” and with that your heart stopped, your hands grew clammy and you couldn’t swallow the lump in your throat. 

He knew. Fuck. Of course, he knew. That’s what this is all about. “Jean I-” you started to say before he cut you off. “Don’t apologize, princess, you think I haven't seen you staring at me, hm? Watching me workin’ out in the sun probably getting all nice and wet for me.” “I’ve been watching you too sweetheart, walking around in those tight little shorts basically beggin’ me to fuck you right there.” He said nonchalantly as if he was just asking how your day was, sipping his drink.

Were you dreaming or did Jean Kirstein, your father's favorite employee, just say he wants to fuck you. You didn’t know how to respond so you simply stuttered out what came to your mind first “B-but that girl th- the blonde one-” you said shakily, not having looked up at Jean once since the conversation took this turn.

He stood up from his creaky chair until all you could see were his muddy boots next to yours. He grabbed your face gently with his tough, calloused fingers to make you look up at him “Wanted to put on a good show for ya. ‘Was thinking about your pretty little body under me the whole time. You know how cruel you are wearing those tiny ass tank tops, showing your tits off to all the farmhands? Know how many times I’ve thought about you wiggling under me, hm? I don't give a fuck about any girl I bring back, how could I when I'm thinking of you the whole time?"

With that, as you were about to respond Jean yanked you up to stand beneath him, smoothly catching your lips in a sloppy wet kiss. The taste of whiskey on his tongue made it all the more intoxicating, the way his hands roamed your body. You couldn’t help but moan into the kiss as his tongue explored your mouth, teeth lightly grabbing your bottom lip between them. 

Without saying anything Jean lead you into his house straight to his bedroom and sat you down on his creaky bed, towering over you. He removed your clothing painstakingly slowly as his lips ghosted your neck before taking in the view below him “Even more fuckin’ sexy than I imagined” You could see him growing hard against his jeans as you tugged at his waistband “N-need you Jean, need you so bad” was all you managed to whine out. As he removed his dirty work clothes before you your eyes wandered over his toned muscles, your mind roaming a million different places from his fingers inside you to his huge cock. 

You reached for his thick cock, pretty pink tip absolutely dripping with precum but he tsked “Uh uh baby, I’m here for you, alright? Now why don't you show me how you play with yourself for me, hm?” He whispered in your ear, chill bumps racing down your spine as a vibrant red blush crossed your face. The thought of touching yourself for Jean made you both extremely embarrassed and extremely turned on 

“C’mon princess you weren’t too shy last night now were you?” He said as his teeth lightly scraped the sweet spot on your neck making you let out a soft moan. You simply shook your head and leaned back against his pillows. You took your bottom lip in between your teeth and slowly lowered your dainty fingers down to your core, you could feel your pussy already dripping down your soft inner thighs as Jean’s gaze stayed locked on you. You began rubbing slow circles on your needy clit as you looked up at him “This what you do when you make yourself cum for me?” Jean asked, his signature cocky tone returning. You nodded and started to dip one of your small fingers into your aching pussy softly whining out “Jean..” “Yeah what do you think about baby, hm?” he said inquisitively, watching every movement of your hand on your messy pussy, making him harder than he thought possible. “Think about y-your hands and how they’d feel, s-so big and strong-” you whimpered out as you added a second finger to your sopping cunt. “Yeah just my fingers, princess?” He asked cockily, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear you say it. “N-no, think about your cock too a-and your mouth…” you trailed off, voice getting quieter as you felt a familiar knot begin to build in your stomach. 

“Mhm and what about my mouth?” The thought of you getting yourself off to him turned Jean on so much and he needed more, needed to know exactly what you thought about. “Y-your tongue, all over my pussy a-and sucking on my clit-” you were cut off as your orgasm ripped through you, overcoming you like waves crashing on a beach, eyes squinted shut. you were accustomed to making yourself cum fast due to your very little free time. 

Jean saw you unravel beneath him, mouth slightly agape as your juices pooled around your small fingers. As you pulled them out Jean replaced them with his rough thumb, rubbing lazy circles on your over-sensitive clit. You wined out and dug your fingers into his muscular back as he touched you “If you can’t take this baby, how are you gonna take my cock?” He chuckled as he squeezed one of his long slender fingers into your tight cunt. “So fucking wet for me…” he said pulling his fingers out and spreading them in front of you to showcase your wetness before sliding them into your mouth “Be a good girl and taste yourself for me m’kay?” He said eyes filled with lust as you sucked his long fingers deeper into your mouth, swirling your tongue around them as you tasted the tangy stickiness of your cum. 

“Such a good fuckin’ slut for me aren’t you?” He said as he removed his fingers, shoving them back into your pussy harshly making you gasp “Probably thought about this a million times huh, me having my fucking way with you. ‘M gonna fuck you like the slut you are, always teasin’ me when I’m at work” your pussy clenched at his words and he chuckled “yeah you like that don’t you? Like me calling you a fuckin’ slut” You nodded as he removed his fingers and moved your hands to your knees “Hold these pretty legs open for me while I eat this pussy okay baby?” He said in a commanding tone before using his ring and middle fingers to spread your pussy open for him “So fuckin pink and wet for me god, this is the prettiest fuckin pussy I’ve ever seen” he said before lowering his mouth onto your swollen clit, tongue doing figure eights all over your dripping pussy. You could feel his scruff against your skin as his hair tickled your soft thighs “Taste so sweet for me baby, said you want me to suck on your clit right?” He asked making direct eye contact with you as you nodded, he removed his mouth from your desperate pussy before saying “Good girls use their words, sweetheart" with a deviant smile “Y-yes Jean I w-want your tongue on my clit” you said, embarrassed at how he had you sprawled out in front of him, already willing to do whatever he wanted. “That’s a good girl” he smiled before attaching his mouth back on your sensitive pussy, sucking and lapping at you like he was never going to eat again. It felt so good you couldn’t control yourself as his skilled tongue ran over you, tears forming in your eyes, knees shaking as his name rolled off your tongue like a mantra.

Before you knew it you were cumming all over his face “Yeah there you go princess, give me all of it, want all of your fuckin’ cum” he said as his tongue continued to assault your swollen clit, riding out your orgasm until he was completely satisfied. You looked so fucked out beneath him and he hadn’t even given you his cock yet, but you needed it, you craved it. Needed the way you knew it would stretch out your tight walls. “Turn over for me baby,” he said placing a soft kiss on your cheek, wiping away a stray tear that has fallen on your flushed face as a result of your earth-shattering orgasm. You turned your body over onto your elbows, chest flat against the bed and round ass in the air as you heard Jean stroke his cock a few times. “Been thinking about fuckin’ this tight little pussy for so long baby” he said as he caressed the soft skin of your ass before pressing a harsh slap into the skin, seeing it turn red for him. “You want my cock, huh?” he asked cockily as he spanked you again. “P-please Jean I need your cock” you managed to whine out “I can tell baby, your pussy is just fucking dripping down your thighs onto my sheets, making such a fucking mess.” He chuckled as you moaned at his words, dragging his aching pink tip up and down your wet slit just to tease you. "P-please Jean, I need it-" you begged before he slapped his fat tip against your clit making you whimper. "You need it huh? Beg me, baby, beg for my cock." He smirked as you bucked your hips backward hoping to feel him enter you "Please Jean, please, fuck I need your cock so bad, wanna feel it stretch me out, please please please." You whined pathetically under him before he harshly thrust his painfully hard thick cock into your aching pussy, molding you around him. You screamed as he bottomed out in you immediately, making you take every inch “C’mon baby, weren't you just beggin' for this? Take it like the good little slut you are.” he said as his hips picked up their rhythm, snapping his long cock into your tight cunt, tight balls hitting your clit with every thrust making you go absolutely brain dead for him. You loved the way he stretched you out, his thick cock bullying his way into your tight pussy had you screaming for him so loud you were sure the neighbors could hear.

“So. Fucking. Tight.” He said punctuating each word with a thrust rougher than the last “Wish you could see this tight pussy creaming all over my cock” he said, eyes focused on the white ring forming at his base from both your cum and his. “Fuck, not gonna last long with you squeezing me like this princess,” he said, spanking your ass, making you moan into his sheets. “J-jean ‘m gonna..” “I know baby, I can feel that tight pussy squeezing ‘round me” he replied squeezing his eyes shut from the pleasure, going faster as his thrusts got sloppier. You came quickly at his increased speed, releasing your juices all over his cock. This turned him on more than he thought was possible 

“Fuck ‘m gonna stuff you with my cum okay? Gonne cum deep inside this pretty pussy” You didn’t reply as you were completely fucked out, soon he released deep inside you, balls tightening as he pumped every last drop of his hot sticky cum inside you. You could feel his warm seed paint the inside of your walls white so deep inside you. He fucked his cum deep inside you, riding out his orgasm before pulling out to watch it drip down your thighs. “So pretty for me,” he said turning you back over onto your back before placing a soft, romantic kiss on your lips. “You gotta stop wearing those little shorts ‘round here okay? Makes me fuckin’ sick seeing the other guys stare at you like that.” “Oh you jealous?” you giggled, feeling a happy warm feeling at the thought of Jean being possessive “Damn right I’m jealous. From now on I’m the only one that gets to see that ass okay?” He said as he pulled you closer onto his warm chest, wrapping his strong arm around you. You could smell the strong scent of his masculine cologne and closed your eyes next to him “Mhm” you nodded as you started to drift off to sleep. Jean didn’t usually let his hookups sleepover, he knew you would be more than that. 

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Celebrating Ramadan With Ace and Deuce

Platonic Ace x muslim!fem!reader x Deuce

Masterlist

First of all these boys would be so accommodating with you if you’re a muslim

They’d try to learn as much as they could about your religion either from you or asking a few Scarabian students.

They’d even ask the Scarabian students for things like lunar calendars or tasbihs or travelling prayer mats in case you need one 

They do their best to make sure you’re comfortable if you’re the type that has issues being too close with the opposite gender, always making sure to keep a respectable distance between you and ensuring that the rest of the student body do the same

If you want to pray, they’d just wordlessly use their bags as your sutrah and basically be your bodyguards until you’re done 

Also, for the hijabi girlies, they’d be so respectful. If your hair starts to show they’d avert their eyes quicker than you could blink and inform you. If anyone bothers you or looks at you in a way that you’re not comfortable with, they’d be decked onto the floor in a flash.

You bet they would have a few spare hijab pins or carry an extra shawl in case of emergencies 

Anyway, back to Ramadan

So when you tell them about fasting, they’d first get all shocked. Poor Deuce is besides himself thinking that you’ll be starving yourself for a whole month before you elaborate on how it’s just from sunrise to sunset and then explain the spiritual significance for it. 

Not going to lie, these guys are so the type to be like “you can’t even drink water?? 🙃”

They’re both super proud of you and are just in constant awe of your strength 

I feel like they’d want to do it with you as a show of unity, and to help you with your homesickness, but since they’re both athletes (especially with Deuce being in such a high stamina/adrenaline sport like Track and Field), you suggest that they start with half fasts to ease themselves into it

(also props to everyone that still works out during fasting hours - you’re all incredible and absolute superheroes. My mum goes to the gym practically every morning and I’m still amazed every time.)

Also, when you’re doing your make up fasts to compensate for the ones you missed due to mother nature, you bet they’ll be right by your side fasting with you

I bet Deuce would feel genuinely offended if someone ate in front of you. Like he’d just stare at someone as if they’re smuggling contraband instead of just munching on their sandwich.

They make sure to do as much as you can so you could rest as much as possible. They set the table for iftar and suhoor (they even get up before you and wake you up), and do the cleaning up whilst you go to pray

Food usually comes from Sam’s shop or Trey (I don’t remember how they were during the culinary crucible but I really wouldn’t want those two in my kitchen before iftar whilst I’m fasting)

They’re always carrying your bag/things and practically never leave your side. Ramshackle is practically their second home at this point.

They love to learn more about your practices, especially traditions that you would do back home and you feel so loved to share that with them. You even teach them arabic (which ends with you getting a stern talking to from Jamil when Ace practices your lessons during basketball club)

Having a henna night with them would be so fun, just listening to nasheeds as you apply henna to both yourself and your best friends (who would take it so seriously and make such a noticeable effort to stay completely still until it dries and it’s both endearing and hilarious)

Okay but one time my sister fell asleep on her hand with henna on it and she woke up the next morning with a faded orange matching pattern on her cheek and that totally happens to Ace

They would totally (with Scarabia’s help) decorate Ramshackle with lights and lanterns to make it all festive

Just the two of them acting as your family in this strange new world 💛

[obscurechris]

“i haven’t even started yet” - chris sturniolo

bsf chris sturniolo x bsf fem reader

in which she can’t seem to fall asleep but tries to in the company of her best friend, yet he has other things in mind

cw: smut, foreplay, switch chris, oral sex, overstimulation

———————————————————————

after a long day out of many with my best friends, they decide to let me sleep over for one last night, as much as i insisted on finally driving back home. as nick and matt go off to their own rooms to sleep, chris sets up the pullout couch and throws a pillow and blanket on top of it, preparing it for me.

"let me know if you need anything. don't be afraid to bother me," he smiles warmly.

"okay," i chuckle and he makes his way down the stairs, letting me know he's finally in his room once i hear the click shut of his door.

i get on my phone and scroll through tiktok as i normally do every night. i keep tossing and turning, however, not able to find a comfortable position. after about half an hour, which had felt like hours to me, i finally get up to use the bathroom. i don’t even need to use it, i just realize i’m too scared to go bother chris, so i sit back down on the thin, springy mattress and sigh. it takes me a few minutes of staring at the wall i could barely see in the pitch blackness of the room to build up the courage, and i finally start walking down the stairs toward chris's room with a nervous groan.

i gently place my forehead against his cold wooden door, soft enough for him not to hear. i take a deep breath, bringing my balled up fist to the wood and knocking lightly. chris's already raspy voice comes through, making my heart skip a beat.

"come in."

the sound of ruffling is heard, his bedsheets being tampered with just before i open the door. there he lays with his sheets only covering half of his body, his bare stomach and chest exposed as he's leaned back against his inclined pillow. one arm is behind his head and the other is gripped around his phone, propped up on his stomach. the light from his screen casts a brightness on his face, and he finally looks up at the slight squeak of his door.

"hey, what's up?" he questions in a playful tone as he tries to figure out the expression on my face.

"well..." i anxiously scratch the back of my neck, "see, the pullout's fine, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's a bit uncomfy...well i'm a bit uncomfy-" i sigh once again, taking a moment to gather my thoughts and not sound like an idiot. "i can't sleep."

the boy was being patient with me, letting me finish my thought despite my little mistakes. i almost miss the way one corner of his mouth subtly lifts into a tiny smirk that's barely there once i finish talking.

"are you hot? is the living room too cold for you? i can turn the ac down."

"uh, no. everything was fine. i just didn't feel right, you know?"

"homesick?" the boy was trying his absolute hardest to understand me.

"i don't know, chris." my voice comes out weak and like i had hit rock bottom.

he turns off his phone and sets it aside as he looks down at his covered legs to think, puckering his lips to the side. i can clearly tell he has thoughts running through his mind, but he pushes them away in the moment.

"would you mind sleeping here with me?" he looks back up into my eyes, filled with hope.

"no," i shake my head, "do you have a sleeping bag or something?"

he laughs at my question and i stand at the doorway still, starting to feel a little embarrassed.

"get in here," he chuckles and lifts the covers, and i hesitantly walk over after closing the door behind me, my eyes almost widening at the unexpected sight of him in only boxers.

my back faces him as i tuck my legs into the sheets and flip the cover over my shoulder. almost being pressed up against my bigger best friend is making it hard to even try to fall asleep, and the vibrant red hue of his led lights strung across the ceiling aren't helping one bit. as if on cue, chris's arm gently finds its way onto my stomach, slowly snaking its way up until his hand stops right below my right boob, his thumb resting on the crease. my tank top is so thin, i’m sure he is aware of the goosebumps rippling across my skin.

in order to finally find a comfortable position, i wiggle my body in an attempt to smooth out the wrinkles of my clothes and the sheets underneath me. my wriggling causes my ass to press up against the thing directly behind it, and i only figure out what had happened once a low grunt sounds out from behind me.

chris's arm tightens around my torso and the tiny hairs on my stomach raise. i stop moving in fear, realizing i’m fucked as my ass is literally against his hardening dick. he tries to suppress his heavier breathing and places his forehead against the back of my head. i have a hard time controlling my own breathing as well, hating to admit to myself that i’m getting turned on by my best friend.

chris softly moves his hips forward and back, his bulge rubbing against me to give himself some sort of sexual relief. my hand grips onto his wrist and i finally catch his rhythm, swiveling my hips in a circular motion against his dick and causing his bulge to grow. with his dick rubbing against my barely clothed pussy, my thong begins to soak up and my insides start to feel like they're igniting.

a soft and uncontrollable moan escapes my lips, letting chris know i’m catching onto his drift. his hand slides up a bit further, cupping my right breast and caressing it. i feel my hair being combed back through the boy's fingers away from my neck, then the sudden wetness of his lips on the side of my neck and i stretch my head deeper into the pillow to give him more to work with. he leaves a streak of kisses down, forming a line onto my shoulder, moving the thin strap of my top out of the way onto my arm. his kisses press firmly and slowly, marking my skin and sending little shocks throughout my body. my energy shifts, and i roll onto my other side, facing him with a lustful smile. his arm rests on top of my side once again, and his fingers spread out on my warm back.

our eyes bore deep into each other's, our breathing patterns synchronizing with one another's as we feel the warm breeze of each breath on our lips. i push his tousled hair out of his face and watch how his eyes dart back and forth over my own face, not even inches apart.

“what are you waiting for? kiss me.”

his eyes flick down to my lips, not being able to stop himself from inching forward until our lips finally collide. my stomach bursts with butterflies as he instantly kisses back, like he's been waiting a million years for this moment.

my leg latches around chris's hip, and his hand presses into my ass, kneading at it like dough. his thumb breaks the seal of my booty shorts, slipping it up as he grabs a handful of my cheek and toys with it.

he takes ahold of my upper lip and i focus on his bottom lip, and all that can be heard is the little squeak after our lips separate, only to go back in again for more. chris hungrily kisses me and my teeth lightly clasp onto his bottom lip, gently pulling it and letting it go, making it snap right back and turning another switch on in the boy. he leans back into my lips capturing them once again and his soft, swollen lips leave sloppy kisses on mine as his hand finds its way around my throat where he grips lightly. he finally gets himself to stop and pull away, despite not wanting to break our little seal. our breathing is uncontrollable and heavy, and chris brings his hand up, resting it on my jaw as his thumb brushes against my bottom lip.

"you sure about this?" his whisper sends a chill down my back.

"never been more sure." my breathless whisper is kept short as i attach my lips back onto his, not giving him any time to process anything.

as soon as our lips meet again, he tries to get a taste of all he can of me. i can’t get enough of the euphoric feeling of our skin burning into each other's. once his mouth opens again, i slip my tongue through the crevice, our tongues swirling around as our lips enclose on each other's from time to time.

he watches me in awe as i pull back, his hooded eyes filled with more lust than i had brought to the table. he dips his head down, his lips finding their way to the front of my neck, leaving kisses down the ridge. my head tilts back, giving him better access to my soft skin. once he travels down to my chest, he grabs the bottom of my tank top and lifts it above my head, throwing it somewhere across the room. he stares down at my naked chest, affected by the sight of such perfect tits. immediately, his mouth engulfs a nipple and he switches between flicking his tongue back and forth and sucking on the hard bud, creating a pattern. my hands grip onto patches of his thick hair, tugging it lightly as my core starts to ache.

he raises up off of the mattress, pulling me right under him while he towers above. my legs wrap around his waist and his cold chain touches my chest as he lowers his upper body closer to mine again. chris's mouth suctions onto my sternum, dark circles being left behind to turn purple. he travels down my stomach, leaving wet stamps across my delicate skin until he teases at my core. the heat of his wet marks turn to cold, and my skin is spotted with goosebumps once again.

he lifts my hips up in order to slide my damp shorts down my legs, and discarded along with my shirt. his rough thumb comes into contact with my soaked panties, feeling the slick carve of my heat. as soon as he pulls the covering of my thong to the side, a shiver rolls through his body at the sight of my dripping pussy, all ready for him.

“a simple kiss is all it took? i haven’t even started yet and you’re already this wet for me.”

chris doesn't waste much time, gazing up into my eyes while he brings his head down and presses his tongue onto my clit. my head shoots back, already sensitive from craving his touch. my hips instinctively roll up and down, feeling his tongue flat on my folds. he begins to twirl his tongue around each and every fold and his stubble tickles my inner thighs causing my hands to fly to his soft hair. his deep stare hasn't once shifted, being even more turned on by the sight of me writhing in front of him. he places his tongue flat once again to let me do my thing and i take over, grinding on his face to further pleasure myself. he holds my hips down, stopping my motions while he licks my juices clean. once his face comes up, i can see the shimmer of my juices all over his chin and nose in the colored light, and the glimmer on his lips as his tongue swipes some away.

“can’t let you finish that quickly, can i?”

chris comes closer to my face, a wide smile stretching across his own as he observes my curious features. a deep, throaty chuckle sounds out as he finally connects our lips again, letting me taste myself on his lips and tongue. i can't get enough, enjoying the tangy taste of myself and the feeling of his addictive swollen lips on mine. i can’t help but let a moan slip through, our lips vibrating and chris releasing a low groan of his own. as he pulls away, a string of our mixed saliva stretches and flings onto my lip, where he swipes it away with the rough tip of his thumb.

"how do you taste?" his smirk grows as he waits for my answer.

"good, but i bet you’d taste better."

chris's smirk falters, his chest beginning to heave as his eyes dart back and forth between mine. i hook my fingers around the straps of my thong, pulling it off of my legs and throwing it into the distance. he kneels there in complete shock, surprised with and heavily turned on by my sudden boldness. i bend over in front of him, my fingers grazing over the stretchy waistband of his calvin's. before pulling the band down, i leave a gentle kiss on his happy trail. the smooth material is then slid down his thighs, his full hard length springing out close to my face. our previous grinding and making out had caused a drop of precum to form at his tip, and my tongue swipes at the drop, making the boy's dick twitch and his body lightly jerks. just the lightest grasp of his shaft with my hand makes his body break out in goosebumps and the little hairs on his skin raise.

i tease him, lightly tugging at his full length and looking up to see his eyes glued to my hand, his mouth open ajar, and his chest stuttering. my deep stare stays on his face, intently waiting for his eyes to snap to mine, which they do seconds later. my eyes are hooded, my seductive look making his breathing more intense and more audible. my eye contact just a few seconds longer could make an accidental whimper sound out from deep in his throat. he looks away just in time as my stroking pace quickens and his dick starts feeling warm and tingly again, like static buzzing through.

i lift his shaft, placing kisses along his underside and feeling the hot, hard ridge with my soft lips. i pull back to see the growth i have created, smiling like a fool knowing he's so hard just from me. i go back in and kiss his delicate tip a few times, but his croaked voice through clenched teeth stops me.

"stop being such a tease..."

i slip my hand into his and pull him to the head of the bed, where he lays his back against his pillow, his facial expressions changing and the pounding of his heartbeat against his chest intensifying. a hand makes its way back onto his solid dick while my other hand rests on the side of his thigh near his hip.

i press my tongue against his tip and let my mouth slide down his length, a quick exhale being let out from deep in his throat. i move my head back and forth, gliding along his dick in a steady pace as my hand twists up and down simultaneously. i feel the rigid vein along his underside with my tongue and slide up to stimulate his tip by swirling my tongue around it, until he lightly grabs ahold of the roots of my hair and slowly pushes my head down his shaft in impatience. i lightly gag and he groans, feeling my mouth vibrate against his desperate cock. he holds himself up on one elbow as his other hand guides my head up and down, being gentle as i suck.

“you feel so good with your pretty lips around my dick,” his coarse, raspy voice comes through.

the feeling of my tongue and the warmth of my mouth causes deep, throaty moans to emanate through the air. as if he can’t take the slow motion, his other hand grips onto the side of my head and he begins softly thrusting up into my mouth. his hips roll up and down, his chest stuttering. his head has fallen back against the pillow, and i look up to see the pleasured look on his face, his jaw hanging ajar and his eyes squeezed shut. his hips buck in a broken pattern, his dick beginning to twitch against my tongue.

“i’m so close,” he nearly whispers with the little energy he has in his breathy voice.

his thighs lightly shake and i moan against his dick, sending vibrations through it and causing him to let out a choppy string of curses. with his pleasured outcries and the slip of my name from his lips, he finally comes undone and he shoots spurts of cum down the back of my throat. his mouth has formed into an ‘o’ and his fingers lose their grip on my hair. the rings around his eyes are dark and his body and hair are drenched in sweat, his skin glistening in the red light. his breathing is quick and heavy, and i can tell in his eyes he wants to do unimaginable things to me in this moment.

“don’t start something you can’t finish,” his lust-filled eyes bore deep into mine.

a smirk lifts the corner of my mouth, and i teasingly bite my lip.

“i haven’t even started yet.”

my lips wrap around his length again, bobbing my head at a faster pace than before. his hands ball fists into the sheets, his knuckles turning paper white. his jaw falls slack once again, still not over his high. his face contorts in pain and pleasure and his thighs shake the more i work on his dick. his moans are involuntary at this point, his tip hitting the back of my throat causing the ball in his stomach to burst one more time. as he finishes on my tongue, he rides out his second high with the light thrusts of his hips. i pull my head back and swallow, wiping the spit from the sides of my mouth.

i lick my lips as i look at the expression on his face, being turned on by the state he’s in. my core starts to tingle again, knowing i’ve made him feel so good he can’t contain his groans and help the twitching of his muscles. i’ve finished the job where he needed it the most, and now i need the job done where i’m craving it the most.

[nothingsure27]

🍃Unplanned Journey🍃

Pairing: Park Sunghoon as father, fluff🍬 _________________________________ {WARNING NOTE, TEASER} Previous chapters⤵

01 💐

02 🎐

03 🌹

Chap: 04⛲

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

On the weekend, Sunghoon was alone at his apartment with his Siwoon, who was now cooing and babbling in his crib.

Sunghoon was sitting on the edge of his bed, feeling a mixture of exhaustion and affection as he watched his son play with his feet.

As he watched Siwoon, Sunghoon's mind started to wander, thinking about his parents and their complicated relationship.

His mother's constant visits and taking care of Siwoon had become a secret between them, and his father remained blissfully unaware of the situation

Sunghoon had always had a complicated relationship with his father, who had never been very present or understanding in his life.

He knew that telling his father about his mother visiting and taking care of siwoon would only lead to a heated argument and more stress than he could handle at the moment.

So instead, he kept the secret to himself, letting his mother visit and help raise her grandson while his father remained blissfully ignorant.

It wasn't the ideal arrangement, but it was the best he could manage in his situation

As Siwoon began to fuss, signaling he was hungry, Sunghoon got up and picked him up, cradling him in his arms.

He walked over to the kitchen and prepared a bottle of formula, feeling a pang of homesickness as he remembered his mother's cooking.

As he sat in a chair and fed Siwoon, he couldn't help but wonder what his life would have been like if he had never gotten his ex-girlfriend pregnant.

Would he still be in high school, with no responsibilities other than homework and exams? Would he be carefree and enjoying his youth, like all teenagers should be

He shook his head, banishing those thoughts from his mind.

There was no point in dwelling on what could have been.

as he looked down at Siwoon's face, his little lips making sucking noises as he drank the formula,

taking in his tiny face and innocent eyes, he couldn't help but feel a surge of love and protectivenes

he knew that he wouldn't trade his son for anything in the world.

Despite all the challenges and responsibilities, he loved Siwoon more than anything, and he was determined to be the best father he could be, no matter how hard it was.

a beautiful baby boy who depended on him.

He had to be strong and responsible, even if it meant sacrificing his own youth dreams and aspirations.

The doorbell rang, startling Sunghoon out of his thoughts. He looked at the door, feeling a mixture of curiosity and worry. Who could it be at this hour?

He opened the door, letting her in.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" he asked, feeling a mixture of and relief.

She smiled at him, her eyes softening as she looked at Siwoon.

"I just came to check on you and the baby," she said, walking into the apartment. "And to bring you some groceries."

Sunghoon groaned,

"Ah, You don't have to keep doing this, you know," he said, closing the door behind her. "I can take care of myself"

His mother snorted, giving him a knowing look.

"Oh, really? Is that why the place is a mess and your fridge is practically empty?"

sunghoon just shrugged off

"How is dad & yeji??" Sunghoon asked.

"They're doing well, you know yeji is superb desperate to meet siwoon in person"

Sunghoon chuckled.

"I told her after her exam is over I will take her over"

He nodded.

After a few hours, Sunghoon's mother was ready to leave, having finished tidying up the apartment and cooking a meal for Sunghoon and Siwoon.

"There, all done," she said, looking around at the clean and organized apartment. "You're all set for a few days."

Sunghoon smiled weakly, feeling grateful but also a little overwhelmed.

"Thanks, Mom, but you don't have to do these cleaning you know.. I can do it my own not so hard you can just do cook some food for me"

She gave him a warm smile, her eyes soft. "I know, but I wanted to. You're my son, and I want to help you any way I can."

Sunghoon felt a pang of guilt and gratitude at the same time.

Here she was, going out of her way to help him and Siwoon, even though she knew how his father would react if he found out

"But Mom," he said, feeling the need to speak up.

"You know Dad won't be happy if he finds out about this. He'll get mad, like he always does.

His mother dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand. "Don't worry about your father," she said. "I'll deal with him."

"& I don't care. You and Siwoon are my priority, and if your father can't see that, then that's his problem."

Sunghoon felt his heart swell with emotion. Despite their rocky relationship, his mother's love and support were unwavering.

He didn't know how he'd manage without her.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Mom,"

he said, feeling a lump in his throat.

"You've been the only one who's been here for me and Siwoon, even though it's hard and Dad doesn't approve."

His mother cupped his face in her hands, her eyes filled with love and determination.

"I will always be here for you, no matter what. You and Siwoon are my family, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you're both happy and safe."

"And You're stronger than you give yourself credit for,hoon," she said. "You're doing an amazing job with Siwoon, and I'm proud of you. Don't ever forget that."

Sunghoon felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"I love you, Mom," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "Thank you for everything."

She pulled him into a tight hug, holding him close.

"I love you more hoonie, You're stronger than you think, don't ever forget that."

As they pulled away, she looked at him with a stern but loving expression.

"Now, you need to take care of yourself and that little one. Don't forget to eat and sleep, okay?"

Sunghoon chuckled, feeling like a scolded child. "Yes, Mom, I will. I promise."

She smiled, visibly relieved.

"Good. And if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call me, okay? I'm always here for you, no matter what."

"I will, Mom," he assured her, feeling a sense of security in her presence.

"Thank you again for everything."

She gave him one last hug and a kiss on the forehead before grabbing her purse and heading towards the door.

She paused at the door and turned back to look at him.

"Welcome love, Take care of yourself and siwoon okay?"

"you too" Sunghoon said, smiling at her. "We'll be fine, don't worry."

"Do concentrate on your upcoming exams hoon"

"Okay okay, bye mom"

"I'll be back next week, okay? Bye"

his mother left the apartment, leaving Sunghoon alone once again with Siwoon. He closed the door behind her, feeling a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude.

He walked over to Siwoon, who was now asleep in his crib, and looked down at his peaceful face.

"It's just you and me now, little man,

" he whispered, feeling a swell of emotion.

He sat down on the couch, feeling the weight of everything that had happened in the past few months crashing down on him. He was still a teenager,

Who is in collage now, but he was also a father now.

It was a lot to handle, and some days it felt overwhelming.

But as he looked at Siwoon's peaceful sleeping face, he knew that he had made the right decision.

This little boy was his responsibility, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he grew up happy and healthy.

He grabbed a pillow and lay down on the couch, feeling the exhaustion take over.

He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Siwoon's steady breathing, feeling a strange sense of comfort in the familiar sound.

With a deep sigh, he drifted off to sleep, ready to face whatever came next.

his son's steady breathing serving as a soothing lullaby.

_________TIME SKIP__________

Sunghoon was just waking up from his nap when he heard the doorbell ring. He got up from the couch, feeling groggy and disoriented, and went to answer the door.

He opened the door, expecting to see his mother returning for some reason, but instead, he found himself face to face with his ex-girlfriend.

For a moment, he didn't know what to say or do. He hadn't seen her in months, and her sudden appearance took him by surprise.

His eye frown Before he could say anything, she stepped forward and kissed him, planting a firm kiss on his lips.

Sunghoon froze for a moment, feeling a rush of emotions coursing through his body. Confusion, anger, love, and longing all mixed together in a churning whirlpool, making it hard to think clearly.

He pulled back from the kiss, trying to catch his breath.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, his voice coming out harsher than he intended.

His ex-girlfriend, seemingly unfazed by his reaction, simply looked at him with a mixture of determination and vulnerability in her eyes.

"I needed to see you," she said simply, her voice soft yet firm.

Sunghoon felt a pang of conflicting emotions at her words.

On one hand, he was still angry and hurt by the way she had left him, but on the other hand, he couldn't deny the fact that he still loved her.

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

"Why now? Why after all these months?" he asked, feeling a wave of frustration and confusion wash over him.

She took a step closer, closing the distance between them.

"I've missed you," she said, reaching out and touching his face, her fingers brushing against his skin gently.

"I've missed you so much, Sunghoon."

His heart clenched at her words, the longing he had been trying to ignore for months rushing forward with full force.

He wanted to push her away, to protect himself from the pain, but he found himself unable to move, caught in her gaze.

"You can't just show up here and expect everything to go back to the way it was,"

he said, his voice betraying his warring emotions.

"It's been months, and I've moved on."

She let out a quiet, humorless laugh.

"Have you, really? Then why do you look at me like that, like you're seeing me for the first time all over again?"

she asked, her fingers tracing his jaw gently.

Sunghoon felt a shiver run down his spine at her touch.

God, how could she still have such an effect on him? He wanted to deny it, to push her away and assert that he had indeed moved on, but he couldn't force the words out.

"Even if I haven't, it doesn't matter,"

he said, his voice thick with emotion.

"You left, remember? You chose to walk away and leave me behind. I can't just forgive and forget that easily

She stepped closer still, her body just inches away from his, her eyes locking onto his.

"I know," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "But, Sunghoon. I love you, and I miss you."

The words hit him like a punch to the gut, reigniting the fire of love and longing he had tried so hard to extinguish.

He wanted to believe her, to embrace her and hold her tightly, but the fear of being hurt again held him back.

he could feel the heat of her body so close to his but the pain of her leaving was still fresh in his memory.

He took a step back, distancing himself physically from her, even though everything inside him screamed to close the space between them.

"You can't just come back here and say those things," he said, his voice shaky.

"I've been through hell, trying to pick up the pieces you left behind. It's not fair."

She took another step closer, their bodies almost touching now.

"I know it's not fair," she said, her hand coming up to rest on his chest, right above his heart.

"But I want to fix it, Sunghoon. I want to make it right. Please, give me another chance."

He could feel the heat radiating from her, the way her touch sent sparks of electricity through his body.

Part of him wanted to push her away, to protect himself from the pain she had caused, but the other part wanted nothing more than to hold her close and never let go.

He took a shuddering breath, his resolve weakening by the second.

"And what if you change your mind again? What if you leave me again?"

She shook her head, looking up at him.

"I won't. I won't leave you again, I promise. , i know what I want now. I want you, Sunghoon. Only you."

"God, I've missed you so much,"

he mumbled, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Her scent, familiar and intoxicating, surrounded him,

"I missed you too," she whispered, her arms wrapping around his middle,

He lifted his head, looking down at her. Her eyes were filled with a mixture of remorse and hope, and it tore at his heart.

"Why did you do it?" he asked, his voice rough with emotion.

"Why did you leave me?"

"I was scared of us, of what we had. We're so young, and I didn't know how to handle it."

"I thought leaving would be easier than dealing with it."

Sunghoon held her close, feeling the weight of her words sink in.

"You left because you were scared?"

he asked, his voice laced with both frustration and empathy.

"So you just ran away instead of dealing with it together?"

His girlfriend nodded, more tears falling down her cheeks.

"I know it was cowardly,"

she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know and I'm so sorry, and I hurt the person I love most in this world."

🌃-

As night fell, Sunghoon found himself lying in bed with his ex-girlfriend snuggled up next to him.

Despite his mixed feelings, he couldn't deny the comfort of having her there, her body pressed against his.

She had showered and was now wearing one of his old T-shirts, her hair damp and messy. Her eyes were closed, but he could tell that she wasn't asleep, her breathing too rhythmic to be genuine.

He lay there, staring up at the ceiling, his mind racing. The events of the day had been overwhelming, to say the least.

Seeing her again, hearing her confession of love, and feeling conflicted about all of it was taking a toll on him.

He glanced down at her, the soft moonlight streaming in through the window highlighting her features.

She looked so peaceful, her expression devoid of the tension and fear he had seen in her earlier.

He lay there, staring up at the ceiling, his mind racing.

The events of the day had been overwhelming, to say the least.

Seeing her again, hearing her confession of love, and feeling conflicted about all of it was taking a toll on him.

he was pattin on her back gently as they cuddle her head on his chest

He glanced down at her, the soft moonlight streaming in through the window highlighting her features.

She looked so peaceful, her expression devoid of the tension and fear he had seen in her earlier.

Just as Sunghoon was lost in thought, the sound of a baby's cry broke the silence. Siwoon, who had been fast asleep in his crib, was now crying loudly, his tiny voice filling the room.

Sunghoon sat up, suddenly alert.

"I need to go check on him."

Sunghoon tensed instantly, a pang of worry and guilt hitting him.

He glanced down at his girlfriend, who had opened her eyes at the sound of the crying. She looked at him, annoyance etched on her face.

Sunghoon, shifting to get out of bed. Before he could get up fully, however, his girlfriend's hand shot out and grabbed his arm.

"Can't you just leave him be for a bit?" she said, her voice sharp.

"He'll stop crying eventually."

looked at her, his eyes widening at her words.

"What? Do you mean?" he asked, disbelief and anger seeping into his voice.

She shrugged, letting go of his arm.

"It's not like he's in danger. He's probably just hungry or needs a diaper change. He'll stop crying on his own."

Sunghoon couldn't believe what he was hearing. "That's not the point,"

he said, trying to keep his voice level. "He's our baby. He's crying because he needs something,"

She rolled her eyes, sitting up in bed.

"You're letting him manipulate you. Babies cry all the time, and they don't always need something. You're just spoiling him by catering to every one of his whims."

"He is our son..-" sunghoon said wiry disbelief and firm

His girlfriend huffed, looking at him with annoyance. "I know, i know he's our son," she said.

"But he needs to learn that he can't always have everything he wants right away. You can't just drop everything the moment he cries. He'll never learn to soothe himself if you keep babying him like this."

Sunghoon shook his head, feeling his frustration mounting. "He's a baby," he repeated, his voice firmer now.

"He's not trying to manipulate me. He's crying because he needs something, and it's my responsibility as his parent to take care of him. You can't expect me to just ignore his cries, no matter how much you don't want to deal with it."

"Hoonie I'm his mother too" she pout seem like she is holding back her irritation

"If you're his mother, then act like it!" Sunghoon retorted, his voice rising.

"You can't just come back after months of being gone and suddenly decide how I should raise our son. I've been taking care of him for months on my own, and I've done a damn good job of it."

She looked taken aback by his outburst, but her irritation quickly turned to anger.

"What do you want me to do, then?" she snapped.

"I'm here now, aren't I? I'm trying to be a part of his life again, and you're treating me like the enemy."

"I don't know!" Sunghoon exclaimed, his voice strained.

"I don't know what I want you to do. Just stop telling me how to raise my son, for one. And don't expect me to just forget that you left us, that you disappeared without a word for months."

"You don't think I regret that?"

she said, her voice rising in volume to match his.

"I do, okay? I know I made a mistake, but I'm here now, trying to make things right. But you're not making it easy with your constant judgement and blame."

"And do you think it's easy for me?" he retorted.

"You left me alone to raise our son without any support or help. Do you know how hard that's been? I've been trying to balance being a parent, going to school, and working a job to make ends meet, all on my own. And now you show up and demand that I just forget all of that and trust you unquestioningly?"

She controlled her anger and irritation & soften.

"hoonie I'm sorry I regret it already pls.. and you can't change the fact I gave him birth I'm still his mother the mother or your child" she make an lip pout

Sunghoon clenched his jaw, feeling torn between anger and a hint of sympathy. He knew she had a point, but he also couldn't just forget the pain she had caused him.

"I know you're his mother," he said, his voice stern.

"But being a parent is more than just giving birth to a child. It's about being there for them day in and day out, through good times and bad. And you weren't there."

She looked down, avoiding his gaze.

"I know I wasn't," she said quietly.

"But I'm here now. Can't you just give me a chance to prove that I can be a good mother? I love our son, Hoonie. You have to believe me."

"I want to believe you,"

he said, his voice softer now.

"But it's not going to be easy. It's going to take time, and it's going to take effort on your part to prove to me that you're actually here to stay and be a real parent to our son.

Sunghoon watched as his girlfriend got up and walked over to the crib, picking up their crying baby. For a moment, he thought she was actually going to try to soothe the infant.

However, to his surprise, the baby's cries grew even more intense as soon as he was in his mother's arms.

The baby seemed to realize that she was not who he wanted or recognized.

She tried to rock the baby gently, shushing it and making soft noises, but Siwoon only cried louder.

His little fists clenched tightly, and his tiny face scrunched up in distress.

Frustration flashed across his girlfriend's face, but she quickly masked it with a forced smile, trying to soothe the crying infant.

"Shhh, it's okay," she cooed, rocking the baby gently in her arms. "Mommy's here, shhh."

But the baby's cries continued, growing even more loud and shrill.

It was clear that he wasn't comforted by his mother's touch. He wanted his father, his familiar presence and scent.

Sunghoon watched, as his girlfriend grew more and more visibly irritated with the baby's refusal to calm down.

She tried everything, rocking him, singing to him, even offering her breast, but nothing seemed to work.

It was clear that the baby was not calming down, and her forced attempts at soothing him were only making him more upset.

"Why won't he stop crying?" she said, her voice strained.

"I'm holding him just like you do. Why won't he stop?"

Sunghoon sighed, standing up and walking over to them.

"He's used to me," he explained, gently taking the baby from her.

"He knows my scent and my voice. Give him a minute, and he'll calm down."

He held the baby against his chest, and instantly the infant's cries began to subside.

The baby buried his face in the crook of Sunghoon's neck, seeking comfort and security in his father's arms.

The baby, now calm in his father's arms, stared up at Sunghoon with wide, innocent doe eyes.

His small face was still red from crying, and he clutched at Sunghoon's collar with tiny fists.

"Shhh," Sunghoon whispered, rubbing the baby's back soothingly.

"It's okay, buddy papa'is here."

The baby's grip on his collar didn't loosen, and he continued to look up at Sunghoon with those big, innocent eyes, as if seeking reassurance and comfort.

Sunghoon felt a pang of emotions seeing the baby so reliant on him. It reminded him of the bond they had formed,

the countless nights spent soothing him back to sleep and the endless diaper changes and feedings. He was all the baby knew as a caregiver, and that reality weighed heavily on his heart.

"Da-da! " the baby mumbled gripping with his father tshirt.

Sunghoon felt his heart melt a little looking at his son.

"He's calming down,"

he said, directing his words towards his girlfriend, who had retreated back to the bed.

"He just needs time to get used to you. He's only ever known me until now."

His girlfriend nodded, but the irritation was still evident on her face.

"I didn't think it would be this hard,

"she said, her voice laced with frustration.

"I thought he'd recognize his mother."

Sunghoon sighed, shifting the baby in his arms.

"He's a baby," he reminded her.

"He doesn't understand the concept of 'mother' or 'father' yet. He just knows who feeds him and takes care of him, ado with whom embrace he felt safe shield that's been me for the past months"

"But he should still recognize me," she protested.

"I carried him for nine months, for God's sake. I'm literally his mother."

"Yes, you're his mother," Sunghoon agreed.

"But that doesn't mean he's going to automatically recognize you as such. You've been gone for months, and he has no idea who you are. You need to give him time to get used to you."

But his girlfriend remained unconvinced.

"How long is that going to take?" she asked.

"I can't just sit around for weeks trying to win his affection. I have a life too, you know."

Sunghoon felt a pang of irritation at her words.

"This isn't about winning his affection like a game," he said, his voice firm.

"This is about being a present parent and building a genuine bond with your child. It takes time and patience, not just a few hours of forcing yourself on him when he doesn't want you."

His girlfriend huffed, crossing her arms.

"I don't even understand why he's crying so loudly anyway. He's just a baby, he doesn't understand the concept of abandonment. He'll be fine once I spend enough time with him."

Sunghoon felt a wave of anger rise up within him at her dismissive attitude.

"Are you serious?" he said, his voice rising.

"You think just because he's a baby, he doesn't feel anything? He hasn't seen you for months, and now you expect him to just forget all that and accept you back without question?"

"Oh, hoon pls pls stop with lecture like you are 30, you're a teen parent we both are "

Sunghoon clenched his jaw, fighting to keep his temper in check.

"We both may be a teen parent," he said, his voice strained.

"But I've been taking care of our son on my own for months while you were gone."

"I've learned a lot about parenting in that time, and I know that he needs more than just your sudden presence to feel secure."

His girlfriend rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, you're the model parent now, I get it. You've been playing the responsible adult while I was gone."

" But you don't get to lecture me like this is all my fault."

Sunghoon took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "I'm not lecturing you,"

he said, his voice still firm.

"I'm just trying to make you see that our son needs more than just your physical presence."

"He needs your time, your attention, your love. He needs to know that you're here to stay and that you're not just going to disappear again."

"And how am I supposed to do that when he won't even look at me without crying?" she asked, frustration clear in her voice.

"How am I supposed to show him love when he's being so difficult?"

Sunghoon knew that she had a point. The baby's refusal to accept her was making things difficult for her, but he also knew that it wasn't the baby's fault.

"You have to be patient," he said, his voice softer now.

"You can't force him to love you. You have to earn his trust and affection gradually."

Sunghoon watched as her expression shifted, a sly smile forming on her lips.

"Okay, okay," she said, her voice sultry. "We'll talk about this later. Right now, I need your touch. I've been craving you for months, hoonie. Come here."

°☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆°

_______________TO BE CONTINUED

(I didn't recheck so unsee my mistakes in grammar spelling I hope you guys enjoyed the first one chap look forward for more. Do note & reblog🍃 & let me know your opinion pls what do you think about his ex''s unannounced return? :' ()

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

Consequences | Two

Word Count: 6.2k~ | Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, dark, medieval-canon sexism, heavy dub-con/noncon, mean Aemond, manipulation, abusing power, gore, blood, violence, major angst, oral (m receiving), fingering, oral sex (f receiving), Aemond being a possessive horny weirdo with a power complex

Series Masterlist  ​​

Hedi had noticed her praying more often, with soft tears in her eyes.

 But no matter how much Hedi asked her what was wrong, the little maidservant would shake her head and insist that she was merely homesick having sent a few copper coins to her siblings.

 In the room she shared with her fellow maidservant, Alanna, who luckily worked quite the opposite shift to her, she would sit on the stool before the pale of water, scrubbing at her skin to wash herself. Trying to rid her mind of the experience altogether. The taste of his spend on her tongue. The uncomfortable prod of his cock at the back of her throat. The way his voice sent a jolt of both fear and a thrill through her. It made her question everything about herself. That perhaps she didn’t know herself as well as she thought. And it was this fact that disturbed her the most.

 That she was beginning to lose touch of herself.

 She’d not said a word to anyone. And when she attended to him in the mornings as she usually did, she tried to make herself as small as possible, hoping that if she hugged her arms around herself tight enough, she might actually begin to disappear. Prince Aemond had almost pretended as if nothing had happened, with his usual one word answers, faint hums and lack of presence in his chambers.

 The little maidservant wondered if she had done something to irk him, or if he had not enjoyed the experience and wished not to repeat it. Secretly, she hoped so. Hoped that he would lose interest and slowly slip into the old habits, ignoring her completely. Then she could go about her life, picking and cleaning up the royal Prince’s mess, and hers into the bargain as well. She thought that royals such as him do not think about the messes they make.

 In that way they are like children.

 She wondered if anyone, in Prince Aemond’s life, had ever told him no.

 It was doubtful.

 Perhaps that was why he felt entitled to torment her in the way he had. Perhaps it was the effect of privilege in the pursuit of pleasure.

 It was a morning like any other and she dressed in silence, careful not to wake her fellow colleague whom she shared a bed with. Alanna was a night owl, through and through, but it did not mean she was not exhausted after performing her night shift duties and when she had come back in the early hours, it was like a prod for the other little maidservant to wake for her morning duties.

 Who she saw in the looking glass looked very much like her, but didn’t feel like her.

 The weather was pleasant enough, warm with a cool breeze as she carried Prince Aemond’s breakfast tray, a heavy bubble in her gut at the thought of seeing him again.

 She’d turned at the call of her name. The young boy who served alongside the staff rushed up to her carrying a scroll.

 “What is it?”

 “Message from your family, miss” the boy’s voice broke as he spoke, he could not have been older than three and ten and still had that nervous wide look about him.

 The little maidservant swallowed nervously and gestured for him to read it. She recognised him as the son of one of the staff, almost born for the role of being a hasty little messenger, and thus he was taught to read. Perhaps a benefit of his sex and his environment.

 The letter read:

Your pestilent brother and sister are well, but their stomach’s are never full and the boy in particular has almost completely cleaned out the pantry. I will, for the love I had for your mother and father, continue to look after them, however I must request three additional copper coins per week to fund their insatiable appetite. Otherwise I shall be forced to send the little beggars on their way to earn their own coin, the young girl is certainly old enough.

 The maidservant delivered a large sigh, an uncomfortable weight that was already on her shoulders was becoming heavier the more the boy read on.

 “Thank you” she nodded to dismiss the young boy, only allowing herself to breathe a shuddered breath once she was alone. She told herself to not panic, to not cry and that everything would be alright in the end. But there was a small piece of her inside that allowed herself to be a child again, wanting the comfort of a mother and father. She wondered how she would be able to come up with 3 additional copper coins a week and still be able to feed and clothe herself.

 Steadying her breath to keep herself from becoming emotional, she knocked twice and was allowed to enter when she once again heard the muffled tone of his voice.

Tray on the nightstand. Draw the curtains. Tie them back. She kept going over what she was going to do in her head, eyes downcast the entire time, not wanting to look at him.

 And yet in her peripheral she saw him rise from his bed as she tied the curtains back

 Her heart lurched into her chest when she saw his arms hook underneath hers to lean against the windowsill in front of her, and then when his bare chest had nudged against her back. She felt as if she could not make a sound and so she didn’t even acknowledge it at first, screwing her eyes shut to draw in a shaky breath. Aemond had smirked behind her, knowing what her reaction would be and his finger once again came to the little curl at the side of her head that perpetually made itself free of her braids.

 “My little maidservant is shy today” he said lowly, pressing his form tighter against her back, thinking about how if he bucked his hips just a little, his hard arousal would prod against her dress-clad backside.

 He looked down as she purposefully did not look back at him. He watched the way her lips were slightly parted, as if so afraid that she had to breathe through her mouth, albeit quietly. He chuckled at the effect he seemed to have on his little maidservant, smoothing his finger over her hair, then her neck, which he can tell made her shudder slightly.

 “Tell me, sweet girl, do you still taste it…” he whispers in the shell of her ear, looking down he can see the shadow of her skin beneath her dress, but it becomes too dark to truly see anything. He allowed himself to wonder what her bare form would look like.

 Would she have small, well-rounded breasts, easily fit into his palms. How he thought he'd grip them so tight he wouldn't let go, intent on making her at least whimper at the pleasurable pain.

 Would she have a smooth curve to her hips, the line leading down to her cunny, to where he imagined that little patch of hair would welcome him.

 Would she have supple thighs, ones he could leave bruises and marks all over. Perhaps even a bit of blood. The thought of smearing blood over her skin thrilled him more than he thought.

 He remembers how she'd told him she'd not been with a man. Would she bleed so nicely for him, once he'd taken her maidenhead, be good and muffle her little whimpers of discomfort into the pillow. Or rather, he wondered if he'd quite like to hear them, while curling his fingers around her throat and squeezing tightly.

 It was getting harder to breathe for Aemond. And unbeknownst to him, it was increasingly so for her as well. Frozen in absolute fear.

 “...do you still feel my cock in your throat, hm?”

 Yes, she thought, with a shameful twist of her stomach. She could still feel his hands holding her face, forcing her to take him as deep as he wanted, still feel every thrust of his hips against her, his fist tightening in her hair, tugging.

 He released one of his hands on the windowsill to rest on her waist, making her inhale sharply. He’d not touched her intimately, only solicited the use of her mouth on him that one time. Aemond felt the movement of her ribs beneath her dress with her breathing, as if he’s just realised she was a living, breathing person before him.

 “Have you touched yourself, sweet girl” he asks.

 She managed to gather all the courage she has inside her and cleared her throat, “I…am not sure what you mean, your grace”

 Fucking cock tease, Aemond thought. But she had really not known at all what he’d meant. Of course she had touched herself, to bathe herself, to brush her hair?

 “I mean…” he starts, his large hands moving to gather her skirts in his fist. And this time she did shudder when the air hit her legs, skin that outside the boundaries of her own bedroom, should never be seen, “...have you touched your little cunt for pleasure”

 She clenches her fists when his palm runs up the side of her thigh. It’s so wrong. So, so wrong for him to touch her like this.

 Aemond breathes hot against her neck at the feeling of her soft skin. Just like how he'd imagined it. The curve of her hip, so feminine and squeezable in his hand. He thought of the way he would grab at them to fuck her, for leverage, using her body the way he sees fit. And now that he'd done so with her mouth, he thought of the rest of her little holes and how they would squeeze him too.

 “Bought yourself to peak with your fingers…”

 She could cry. She thought she’d lost his interest. Thought she might be free of it. Calm down, is all she kept trying to tell herself. She counted in her head, trying to ground herself.

 He squeezes her hip tightly when she doesn’t respond, “Answer me now, or I will not be so nice”

 “A few times” she admits, voice thick with tears, “a few times, your grace…”

 But never to peak, she thought, embarrassed.

 She spoke like she may have been in trouble for it and dreaded what he might do now that she’s given her answer.

 “Hm” she chuckles, giving the skin of her hip one firm squeeze, one that is so tight in his palm it almost makes her whimper in pain. He lets her skirts fall as he moves away from her, looking much pleased with himself, smirking like he knows a secret.

 “Go now” he orders, still with that gravelly authority but ever so slightly softer, now that he'd been thinking of her cunt. But the softer tone does nothing to calm her and if it were possible, she guards herself even more, keeping her eyes to the ground. She doesn’t even look back when he says, “I shall see you tonight, sweet girl”

 She did not want to know what that meant, if it meant anything at all.

 Aemond watched as she left, scared completely out of her senses.

 Good, he thought. He loved that terror-stricken look in her eyes, the sharp taking in of breath when she was trying not to cry in his presence. He’d remembered wiping her tears away when he’d fucked her mouth so ruthlessly in search of his own pleasure, the way the slickness of it had smeared across her face. Aemond found that he wanted to know what she tasted like, every single bit of her. She would be so sweet…his virtuous little maidservant. He had to make sure she was entirely his, so that she knew nothing else but him.

 Young women like her are so helpless in the hands of amorous men.

 Whatever words were said to them, whatever touch and manipulation on their bodies seemed like love to them, the poor, silly little things.

 He would make sure that whatever words, whatever touch inflicted to his little maidservant would be sweet, delightful torture.

All the while she was dismissed until the evening, she busied herself with such menial tasks such as helping the others with the laundry for the day. It was nice to get outside, free from the suffocating confines of the Keep, even if it was just for a moment. The hallways now served to remind her of him, dreading the moment she would be walking down them and he would round the corner, with that predatory gaze he always gave her.

 It was a calm day, so she revelled in the lovely breeze for a moment, allowing herself to be happy.

 There was some relief in the idle chatter of the other maidservants, as she scrubbed the white bed linen against the washboard, her sleeves turned up to prevent from getting wet.

 “I hear the Princess Rhaenyra very well may be returning to King’s Landing soon”

 Freiya was a little younger than the others and as such, had a wandering imagination, a large mouth and a bit appetite for gossip. So it was no wonder she’d already managed to receive the latest even if it was barely early afternoon.

 The other, who went by Mari, also probably short for something but she would never tell anyone, rolled her eyes at the younger woman. Mari was one and twenty, but her mind was mature beyond her years.

 “You must not believe everything you hear, your ears will fall off one day, you little tyrant”

 Freiya pulled an offended frown, “No! I heard such news right from the source, while I was attending to the Queen. She said herself that the Princess will return to contest some…birthright or something like that”

 The little maidservant raised her head and gave Mari an amused look, “You should not be listening to them while you attend to them”

 “You get away with it if you pretend you’re not listening at all” Freiya snaps back with a mischievous smirk, “the Queen is understandably not thrilled with their arrival”

 Mari huffed a laugh, “Neither are the Princes”

 “Why is that?” she asks with a confused lilt of her head,

 Despite being younger, Freiya talks over Mari when she’s about to open her mouth. Such a carefree little thing, it made her laugh. She cared not about such hierarchies.

 “Supposedly they are here for the little Prince Lucerys’ ‘right’ to Driftmark”

 Mari wrinkles her nose in distaste, “Prince Lucerys? The…”

 “Exactly” Freiya responds,

 “What on earth are you two talking about?” she asks, completely lost.

 Mari sighs, “Prince Lucerys is the one who took Prince Aemond’s eye all those years ago, both merely children” she explains, folding the damp cloth in her arms, “the Queen was so distressed for her son, she barely allowed him from her sight”

 For a very split second, something akin to sympathy washes over the little maidservant. But then underneath that is another feeling still. Something questioning.

 “When are they to arrive?”

 “Allegedly, within a few days” Freiya responds excitedly, ecstatic to receive some drama in her no doubt monotonous maidservant life.

 For a man who had been so wronged in his past, with such a traumatic past, to turn into the person he was today. Someone who could be cruel, taking the little power she had in her own life into his own, greedy for more. She had done nothing to him but merely exist and attend to him, as was her job. And she wracked her brain about it. What had she done to incite such cruelty in him, if anything at all? What harm could she do to him in her position, that he had not done to her a million times over.

 With her heart weighing heavy in her chest, after scrubbing the living daylights out of the linen, she carried the dirty water back with Freiya, chatting idly. She was good company, she had to admit, even if she was obsessed with the inner workings of the royal’s lives. As melancholic as the little maidservant felt, she let out perhaps her first genuine laugh when Freiya ‘accidentally’ bumped some of the water over the front of her dress. She’d given the young girl a friendly swat and told the little tyrant to scarper.

 If what Freiya and Mari had said was true, there was a possibility that his typical Targaryen temper could possibly become worse. Perhaps irreparably so.

  She waited in his chambers until it was impossibly dark. Later than usual, Aemond eventually returned, in a much more sour mood than this morning.

 She’d knelt in front of the fire, placing more wood on it to heat the room in the cold that had captured it now that the sun had gone down. Was this how it was to be now? In the morning, he was one person, not burdened by the mood of others and his own not dependent on what had happened during the day. And at night, after the weight of his day had weighed heavy on his tired soul, his desire for release, of any kind, was insatiable.

 “Your grace” she greeted with a bowed head, her soft, fearful voice barely carried above the crackling of the flames. Quite the opposite of the other night, while he was still angry, he let the door shut softly behind him. She just stared at his legs as they made their way towards her, and a flash of her pushing against his legs, in an attempt to push him away from her zips through her head. He was so much larger than her, she thought. It would take no effort on his side at all to subdue her.

 She notices how he stands before her, fists clenched white.

 “My little maidservant does not meet my eye today” he says with a hint of irritation to his tone, “Why”

 She swallows nervously, trying desperately to regain her breath “Apologies, your grace.Just some problems at home that are of no matter”

 When he remains still and quiet, she worries for a moment that she’s overshared, spoken too much and that depending on what mood he’s in, she might have set him off.

 “What problems” he asks, and despite him asking, she gets the impression from his tone of voice that he is completely and utterly unbothered about the reason and just wants to hear her speak. She looks up to meet his eye and immediately wishes she hadn’t. His gaze is cold, uncaring, dark, like she is an annoyance.

 “My…siblings, your grace. I am required to send them more coin, to pay for their support…” she replies nervously, insistent that she has shared too much information and that he very much does not care. She sees this, because his cold expression does not change.

 His eyes roam her face, seeing the discomfort there at her situation. But he cannot find it within himself to care. All he cares to remember is how her smooth hip felt that very morning, how hard he had squeezed it, how he had dreamt for his fingernails to create little indents in her soft skin.

 “You do not smile in my presence” he says simply.

 At this, her lips part in shock. What did he mean? And also, what reason would she have to smile in his presence while attending to him?

 “Pardon me, your grace?” she says in a quiet voice, immediately sucking in air as he steps closer to her. Her feet didn’t move from their spot.

 “With the other maidservants, you smile so widely and yet in my presence…” he hums, his finger reaching out to twirl the little piece of hair at the side of her face once more, as if obsessed with it, “...I believe you fear me, sweet girl”

She could say nothing but try and keep her breath steady. He was right, he frightened her. But what woman would not be frightened at the way he leered at her, kept her in his sights firm and unyielding.

 Only a woman who would want it, she thought.

 “But no matter,” he says, his hand trailing to her the buttons of her dress at the top of her chest. Undoing the first…then the second…”I will have your fear if I can have nothing else” he smirks only slightly.

 Her brain was all over the place. He said it with such conviction. Uncaring if she had wanted any of it or not. She could feel her stomach bubbling in her gut, feeling as if she might either cry or vomit. Aemond could not help but smirk at her efforts to keep herself calm, and failing miserably. His hand barely floated over her chest, over her clothed nipple and she’d flinched only slightly, with a slight inhale of her sweet, hot breath.

 He had seen how she had smiled with her fellow maidservant, the way her dimples had shown on the upper apples of her cheeks, the pink that coloured them when she laughed. He had seen the way the little cock tease had water splashed down her front, turning her dress completely dark and sodden. Aemond would not be able to rid his mind of the image of her hardened nipples beneath the fabric for days, weeks, months to come.

 “Sit” he gestured to the end of the large bed, while Aemond stalked to the fireplace for a moment.

 She gathered her skirts in her shaking hands and sat herself down, closing her eyes to catch her breath, feeling as if the walls were closing in, and that the air was becoming difficult to breathe.

 When Aemond turned around, his eyepatch had been discarded and he was shucking off his leather doublet, with the cream undershirt the only thing beneath it. He walked with such purpose towards her, until his tall, broad form was completely staring and looming over hers. His sapphire eye caught the light of the fire and at this moment, he looked almost possessed.

 “I do not want your hair up when you are in my chambers”

 There was a beat of silence, timed by the beating of her heart.

“Well?”

 The intensity of his voice seemed to wake her from the impregnable fear for just a moment, and her shaking hands reached up for her hair again, quicker about her movements than she had been the previous time he’d aske-no, demanded for her to do so. It was wrong firstly to have her hair loose in his presence, but if anyone

 “Look at me”

 With her hair now falling in their waves down her back, she barely has time to look up before his large hand flies to her jaw,  fingers squeezing painfully at her cheekbones, almost bruisingly. He pulls at her face slightly upwards and towards him. Aemond revells in the shocked and doe-eyed expression on her face and the way her skin blossoms pink under his firm, hard touch. His lips are drawn into a tight line, as if getting angrier by the second, and in his grasp he felt her tremble.

 “Did you enjoy my cock in your throat” he says, his thumb drawing across her bottom lip, only slightly dipping inside into the warm embrace of her little mouth. He can see that she’s too shocked to say anything, her pupils shaking.

 “Did you enjoy swallowing my spend…” he goes on, his thumb pressing against the wet muscle of her tongue, emphasising where his spend had been before he had demanded her to swallow it.

 If he dipped beneath her skirts, would she bet as wet as her mouth? Accepting his digit so willingly.

 “I think you did, sweet girl”

Did I?

 He collects the wetness of her mouth on his thumb, still grasping her face tightly. When she briefly looked down, she saw how hard he was beneath his breeches and the memory of how he had felt in her mouth, heavy and hot. As well as how he’d tasted. At this she feels her gut tighten.

 He pulls his thumb out her mouth, again, smearing the wetness over her lips and then her face as he grips her tightly once more.

 “Do you like this job, sweet girl” he asked and her heart froze in fear.

 “Yes, your grace” she whispered back,

 “Then you will do as I say if you wish to keep it”

 He quite forcefully pushes her back, making her support her torso on her elbows, looking over to the bed with parted lips when Aemond kneels on the floor, his eye forever on her face as he rucks up her skirts. It’s here she realises what he may intend to do and goes to shut her legs tight against each other.

 “Are you going to be a good little maidservant and be quiet?”

 She nods, voice failing her. Not that she would trust it to be steady at the moment.

 If it were possible, his mood flattened completely. Aemond growls and hooks both his hands under her thighs and pulls her closer to him, his fingers digging into her bare, soft skin.

 “Your grace, I-” she starts. Aemond glares right at her, forcefully parting her thighs and painfully squeezing the meat of her legs, emitting a whimper from her.

 “What did I fucking say about being quiet” he snarls, hooking his fingers into her smallclothes and ripping them down her legs. She would shut her legs tightly if Aemond were not so strongly holding them apart, and she feels her heart going fast when she feels his hot breath on the juncture of her thigh. His tongue runs over the line there, inhaling deeply the heady scent of her sex, which he has no doubt is seeping with arousal.

 “Stay still while I taste you, sweet…sweet girl”

 He dips between her thighs and sees her bare cunny before him. It was just as he’d imagined it, the luscious hair framing it just for him was waiting there, his thumb ran over her lips, parting them to brush his thumb over her clit. She was wet. So wet. Her slick aided his movements and when he’d brushed over her swollen bundle of nerves, she’d released a shuddered breath, tensing up somewhat. Aemond was tempted to reprimand her, but now faced with her perfect cunt right before him, ready for his taking, he cannot find it within himself to care.

 He dives in, flattening his tongue against her sex and he feels her body jolt beneath his hold, fingers curling into her hips.

 “Mm…” he hums. She tasted so sweet for him, the intoxicating taste of her arousal flooded his tongue, waking his nerves and something deep, dark and ancient within. His eye opened somewhat to look up at her, being so good and quiet for him and he smirked against her cunt, quickening his motions when he saw that she’d laid back, keeping her hand over her mouth to obey him. Aemond watched as her chest and body writhed with each movement of his wet muscle against her clit, her other hand fisted the bedsheets and he could faintly hear her whimpering behind her hand.

 Aemond pushed her legs further apart, granting his tongue access to her wet and waiting entrance, he dipped inside, using it to fuck her repeatedly. The only sound in his otherwise quiet chambers was slapping of his mouth against her cunt, lapping up her juices with a new vigour. He thought, the longer he continued, the more addicted he would become to it. He wanted to have this sweet cunt for all his meals; it gave him life and sustenance.

 But it wasn’t enough.

 His little maidservant was not letting go of herself enough. He could not bring her to peak like this.

 He wanted her climax on his tongue, like she had his.

 Aemond moves his tongue out of her, running up slowly to her bundle of nerves and sucks eagerly, giving her a new, deeper sensation in her gut that makes her hips buck against his face against her will. A new sound floods out her mouth against her hand that has Aemond’s ears perked up and his lips turn up into a smirk. He briefly breaks his contact with her to pull her hand from her face, pinning it by her wrist to the bed harshly.

 “I want to hear you when I make you peak”

 Her eyes are shut tightly, but Aemond doesn’t wait for an answer and goes right back in, licking and sucking her clit, one hand forever at her thigh to keep her open for him. He can feel her body trembling beneath him and the little sounds of her breath as she tries to keep it under control, and now that her hand is not muffling her sounds, he drinks in the various whimpers and tiny, tiny moans with renewed purpose.

 She lets out halfway between a choked whimper and moan when Aemond mercilessly thrusts one finger into her, he moans against her sex at the tightness of her, and how she would feel when she was finally wrapped around his cock. How she’d squeeze him as he used her body for himself and milk him for his spend when her cunt convulsed with the force of her climax.

 Aemond moved his head side to side against her sex, licking every bit of her he could as her moans had become louder. Stray tears ran down her face at the foreign feeling. It was strange and slightly unpleasant, as she’d never put anything inside her before. But his finger crooked up inside her slightly, rubbing against somewhere she never knew existed and it gave her the urge to move her hips, searching for something.

 Uncaring if she was ready, Aemond hastened all his movements and inserted a second, stretching her little cunny with his long, thick digits. He thought she would need to be prepared, for when he would eventually have his cock inside of her.

 It would hurt. It would be painful.

 And it was this that excited him the most.

 As he fucked her with his fingers, focussing his tongue on her clit quickly, he noted the way her body began to spasm in his grip. She was close, just that bit more.

 He loved it when her pink lips parted to give him a quiet moan. It was like praise. And when he concentrated the pads of his fingers against that rough spot within her, her back began to move off the bed, her breath coming in hurried pants. Her tears joined the rest, sliding down her face at the absurdity of the feeling she was having. What was this? Was this pleasure? What everyone else sought so much? It didn’t feel entirely pleasurable, she thought. But there was something deep, dark about the way it was being drawn from her that set shame heavy in her.

 “Come on, sweet girl…” Aemond murmurs against her, “come on”

 He keeps his mouth on her the entire time, body wracked with painful pleasure. So much so that even her voice doesn’t manage to form coherently and her mouth is slack open, frozen in place as the warmth floods her body against her will.

 “That’s it…” he coos, all while his tongue earnestly laps up every single bit of her climax from her, drinking it down like the air he breathes. Aemond can’t help but smile, now that he’s tasted her, seen what she looks like when she comes apart. He can’t not have her and fully intends to have her little cunny at his disposal. One hand dips beneath his breeches, to pump himself, feeling that he did not need much friction to climax himself.

 Her body slumps against the mattress, limbs now entirely limp and feeling both warm and empty at the same time. She eventually cracks her eyes open when Aemond delivers one more warm, stripe upwards, collecting what little is left of her. She looks up to the ceiling, to the canopy and realises her vision is fogged with tears and her hand comes up to wipe at them, now being able to feel the wetness of them against her cheeks.

 Aemond had travelled up her body, still furiously stroking his cock, aching for completion.

 “Do not let it go to waste” he ordered, holding his manhood close to her mouth as he fisted it furiously, fingers once again running through her hair to grip harshly as he pulled at the back of her head.

 Without warning, he shoves his cock into her mouth, prodding the back of her throat and moaning loudly when she splutters around it, having not been prepared. She could smell his musky scent, now even more amplified from his efforts on her previously and it completely flooded her senses. Not a second later, was the familiar flood of his spend into her mouth as he softly thrusted into her, wanting to prolong his friction.

 He took one long breath and pulled his cock from her mouth. But her eyes were firmly shut, whimpering as she swallowed the thick, bitter substance. Again.

 She had a strange thought. That there may have been more spend than food in her belly. And it rattled her beyond comprehension.

 Why am I crying, she thought, having not felt them even come. Her body felt strange, like she was on the outside looking in at herself and she wondered how pathetic she must look. She wondered how other people would look at her if they saw what trouble she’d gotten herself into. What other people thought…

 …it frightened her.

 Regaining her strength, she finally sits up, looking around bleary-eyed to see Aemond, on the other side of the room, already seated in his armchair with a cup of wine in one hand, watching the flames of the fire in front of him. She could see from this angle that his lips and the skin around it was glistening and his other hand was at his lips, smearing whatever wetness was there more over them. She wondered how long she had been laid there.

 In the soft light of the fire, he almost looked handsome. She thought that he, Aemond Targaryen, would be remembered as a skilled swordsman, rider of the largest dragon in the world, Prince of the Seven Kingdoms. History books would record him for centuries to come, on his skills, his wit, his fearsome victories.

 And she…

 …She who had been owned first by her father. And now owed her life to servitude under him. She had always been owned and perhaps always would be. Any husband would own her as well as her money and her children, doomed by the determination of her sex to perform the duties of them for the rest of her life.

 History would not remember her. It would scarcely even know she existed in the first place. Even her own name would not even be remembered by those she worked alongside, she feared. Those she called her friends.

 Forgotten. Replaceable.

 Gathering her breath and wiping her face, she’s unable to control the soft pants of her weak cries and pulls her dress back over herself. Aemond turns, but does not look at her straight on.

 “Leave” he orders flatly.

 She would be shocked, if it hadn’t already happened before. So she took shakily to her feet, feeling entirely degraded and empty within, despite the hum of pleasure still present inside. He didn’t say anything else as she struggled out of the door, her hair still loose around her shoulders.

 It was only when she was in the lit safety of the hallway that she finally allows herself to comprehend what happened and a few more fat tears make their way down her face and her neck.

 Am I his maidservant, or his whore.

Maidservant.

 Whore.

 Whore.

 The way back to the staff quarters was long and wracked with quiet sobs.

 She’d brushed Hedi’s shoulder as she walked past and Hedi had looked wide-eyed at her, as if only just recognising her with her hair down. Hedi’s face immediately fell into a sombre, sorrowful one,

 “Child, what is wrong?” she says, cupping her face in both her hands and looking over her for any sign of injury. She simply shook her head and hastily wiped her cheeks til they were red,

 “I am just tired, please Hedi I-”

 Hedi pressed a hand to her forehead, acting very much like a mother, despite the age gap being small between them, but she found no fever there and she was only very warm from all her crying.

 “Why is your hair down, child?” she asks hesitantly, her eyes darting about her face in search of a clue. Hedi had noticed. Her loose hair, her two undone buttons, the shake of her hands.

 “Please, I just need sleep” she insisted unconvincingly, tearing herself from Hedi’s grasp to wander through the halls to her own quarters, intent on scrubbing herself raw once again with the brush. Desperately trying to erase any memory of touch.

 Hedi had watched her disappear, the other few maidservants followed with their looks, cementing their thoughts in their sour expression.

 “Whore”

General Aemond Taglist: @risefallrise​ @valeskafics​​

Consequences Taglist: @iiamthehybrid @manitskatrina @dahlias-and-marigolds @okfashionista @the-common-cowgirl @toodlesxcuddles  @darkenchantress @magnificentdelusionr   @tinykryptonitewerewolf @tssf-imagines @mandiiblanche @xdeath-soulx  @daemonlover @iiamthehybrid​ @thedamewithabook​ @hiatuswhore​ @apollonshootafar​ @ladymarg0t​ 

*Bold means I couldn’t tag, DM me if you wanna be removed besties

[xo-cod]

chef!reader and taste tester!price

sorry for taking ages, babe i hope this was what you wanted ♡

price loves everything you make, has a hard time saying anything bad because it doesn't feel right

even if you actively encourage his criticisms, he struggles to say anything bad because your food is amazing

"is this for me? it looks so good, sweetheart!"

compliments and more compliments, he's just so thankful for you :")

he's so proud of you, always liking the reviews on google that people have left you

and always critiquing the bad ones, sending them a gentle threat to remove it <3

it's been so long since someone earmed up his heart having spent the better parts of his years surrounded with guns and wars, its so nice to be somewhere far away from it for a few hours

the rest of the boys get curious why their captain is always so eager to get off work in the evening and they stalked him to your place, his face lighting up in a gentle smile when he caught sight of you

all three of them absolutely flabbergasted when he kissed you, they didn't think their captain had in him

so now your lil restaurant/cafe now welcomes another three members of the task force

price's eye twitching when they invade your space, trying to shove them out

"that's enough, out you three go. scram lads"

but you chuckling and assuring it's quite all right if they stay. johnny's eyes sparkling, gaz grinning and ghost smirking at price's muttering under his breath

you'll usually find them all seated after a long mission, your food reminds them of home and they're all incredibly homesick for it <3

price helping you clean up, no matter how much you tell him to sit back down and rest

"that's enough, pretty. i'm helping you whether you like or not"

if you're washing the dishes, he's helping dry and place them away

if you're the one clearnibg away the work surfaces, he's already disinfecting them for you

bought you the cutest apron with a matching hat because you deserve to feel spoilt all the time !!

and also your establishment is price's little safe place. the moment he comes through your doors, work is left back there and he's just john with you <3

he always goes home with a full sated stomach and you always go home to him showing his appreciation for you <33 ;)

[qoqurt]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ MIDNIGHT FICTION

summary a late night spent between daisy and her lovers. ( wc : 1.5k )

cw for brief mentions of insomnia and homesickness

pairing ethan edwards + luke hughes x fem!oc daisy ahn

this one shot is very loosely based on ‘midnight fiction’ by illit, so please give it a listen while you read!

au masterlist | about daisy | about daisy + her lovers

october 23rd, 2022

daisy was restless. any attempt at sleep seemed to be futile, as she grabbed her phone and read the time as 1:29am. laying flat on her back against the mattress, daisy stared up at the ceiling upon the multitude of glow in the dark stars plastered on it — courtesy of david and yujin. she turns her head to the side, taking notice of the way her lovers are fast asleep next to her.

while she usually takes the centre of their snuggle, it’s luke who’s in the middle this time; as a result of feeling drained from a long day. she can’t blame him either — midterms are just around the corner — and that coupled with arduous practice days makes for an exhausted pair of boyfriends. ethan’s arm is draped over luke’s stomach as he sleeps on his back, the pair of them breathing in tandem as soft snores escape their lips. she’s not sure why it is she can’t fall asleep. when the boys are over, she’s usually one of the first to clock out, but it seems that it’s just one of those nights.

sleepless nights weren’t uncommon for daisy — her insomnia at an all time high since she’s been in michigan — but she’s been getting better at dealing with homesickness despite it. it’s gotten easier with luke and ethan around.

without waking her lovers up, daisy slips out of the covers; feeling fortunate she decided to let ethan have the wall side of her bed. she looks over her shoulder once as she quietly pads towards the door, ensuring the guys are still fast asleep before she slips out the door of her bedroom, quietly shutting it behind her.

as she stands in the hybrid between a kitchen and living room, she weighs her options out. she could finish up the physiology work she had due on monday, but she didn’t think her brain was cognitive enough to focus on schoolwork at this hour. she’d thought about calling sunghoon, but knew he was busy with work. yujin would definitely pick up if she called, but ultimately daisy discarded the idea of phoning someone at all — not really in the mood to talk over the phone at one in the morning.

realistically, the play is to attempt to go back to bed, but she’s already committed herself to finding methods to do that. she’d run out of melatonin and forgot to grab more, so that was out of the question.

which is what led to where daisy was now; sporting luke’s michigan hoodie as she hunched over the microwave, milk in her favourite mug spinning inside. warm milk and honey — or fairy milk, as her mother called it — was daisy’s go to sleep remedy back home, her mother making it on nights like these.

though, as she’s watching the mug spin, the soft hum of the microwave seems to distract her from the sound of her bedroom door opening again and footfall approaching her. she only snapped out of her stupor as she felt a pair of arms circle around her middle, pulling her into the broad chest of her perpetrator. it startled her briefly, but she seemed to calm after hearing luke’s drowsy voice.

“woke up ‘cause you weren’t in bed. can’t sleep?” despite the grogginess in his voice, his tone isn’t accusatory nor jaded. he’s simply making a statement. daisy melts into his hold, his warm body comforting as it encircles her and consumes her entirely. luke was no stranger to daisy’s sleeping problems; having known her for nearly a decade and then some. to him, loving daisy was as easy as breathing, and with ethan in the mix, he found that the three of them came naturally.

daisy could only nod, not trusting her voice as she turned to face him. “mm. yeah, ‘m sorry lukey, didn’t mean to wake you.” she murmurs, as luke cranes his head down to press a feather light kiss to the crown of daisy’s head, the hairs in that area becoming a little more disheveled than they already were. even if daisy wasn’t the most affectionate between the three of them, she always relished in the touch of her partners. “don’t sweat it, daf. only noticed when i woke up to get the water on your bedside table. what’re you making?” he asks.

“fairy milk.” she answered, as luke hums in understanding. pulling away for a brief moment, he lets daisy take the now steaming mug out of the microwave, watching with endearment as she uses the sleeves of his sweater to shield her hands away from the biting heat of the porcelain mug, placing it on the counter as she adds the honey and vanilla into it. the pair of them move to the kitchen table, sitting across from one another whilst daisy mixes her concoction. she watches as luke sits in front of her, her brows furrowing as he watches her sip from her mug.

“what?” he pipes up, resting his head against his forearms on the surface of the table.

daisy puts her mug down on the coaster, her expression carrying hesitation as she picks her next words. “you don’t have to stay up with me, luke. i feel bad. you’re tired.” she points out, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. she’s expecting him to nod in agreement and head back to bed, but she’s almost surprised to see him shrug in reply. “so? you didn’t think i was gonna leave you here to wallow in your lonesome, did you?” he teases, and daisy’s astonished that her boyfriend can be so sassy even when he’s half asleep.

she’s about to make a snarky retort, but the sound of ethan’s sleepy voice carries through the apartment, temporarily stopping any train of thought daisy once had. “why’d you guys leave?” he whines out, taking the seat next to daisy, leaning his head against her shoulder as her head instinctively moves to rest against his for a brief moment in acknowledgement. she sits up again as she takes a sip of her milk. “daffy couldn’t sleep. was just keeping her company.” he says, reaching over to take her hand across the table, wanting to feel her touch as well in the same way ethan’s cuddled up to her.

“i didn’t wanna wake either of you.” daisy quips back, squinting at the pair of them. “don’t wanna bother you guys when you’re both exhausted.”

“counter argument,” ethan begins, sounding a little more awake now. “you should wake us up when you’re feeling restless.” luke simply nods in agreement.

“me personally, as much as i love my sleep, i’d rather know when you’re not able to sleep. plus, it’s our free day tomorrow. meaning, we can sleep in.” luke adds on, the prospect of being able to sleep in well into the afternoon sounding nothing but enticing to all three of them. even if they’re all early birds. daisy wants to protest, but she can’t find it in her to do so; only making a sound of fulmination as ethan and luke both take turns sipping from her mug. “parasites, the both of you.” she chides, taking her mug out of ethan’s grasp, the latter smacking a kiss to her cheek.

“yeah, but you love us.” ethan points out, using his free hand to poke daisy in the cheek. while she lets out an indignant huff, she doesn’t disagree with him either. it’s true, after all. loving luke and ethan was second nature to daisy, and even if she didn’t admit it often, she was wrapped around their fingers. they’d somehow managed to worm their way into her glass heart, even going as far as creating a protective layer over it. she always wondered what she’d done to deserve love like theirs, but learned to accept it in time (with the help of luke and ethan’s eager words of encouragement.)

the next hour is filled with lulled conversation, the trio having migrated to the couch sometime during it. they’re watching cartoons on the tv, and as luke is about to ask for daisy’s opinion on his and ethan’s most recent debate, he’s met with the sight of his girlfriend dozing off, her eyelids droopy as she fights the drowsiness. it makes the pair of them feel incredibly warm and awfully fond as ethan scoops her into his arms in one fell swoop, carrying her back to her bedroom as luke follows behind, shutting the door on their way in.

with familiarity, ethan gently deposits daisy in the middle now, taking his original spot by the wall as luke takes daisy’s original position. the pair of them circle around her as she relishes in their warmth, savouring their gentle goodnight kisses. “thanks for staying up with me.” she mumbles, the exhaustion sinking deeper into her bones as it becomes harder and harder for daisy to stay up. as she drifts off, she can faintly hear them whisper their ‘goodnights’ and ‘i love yous’.

super fun fact daisy keeps a nightlight on her bedside table — it’s miffy shaped!

note from mei i hope you guys liked that!! this is probably my first proper one shot here and i’m happy it gets to be about these three. i also take requests for x reader one shots, so please feel free to send in asks and requests!

pookie tags : @wintfleur @iceflwers @winterbarnesblog @lovings4turn