#it’s hard to keep up with my recovery when my health isn’t at its best for whatever reason

[vertigo-starlight]

i will respect my body no matter how many changes it goes through, i will treat it with kindness no matter how it looks, i will make sure it’s nourished no matter how sick it is, i will take care of it no matter how i feel in it

[aceofwhump]

Howdy, Ace! I hope you're well. Do you have any fic recs for panic attacks? I'm not fussed about the fandom really. Thank you so much!

Oh my god I love panic attack fics so much. I've read sooooo many of them. Okay here are some of my favorites:

(9-1-1 Fox) you never said i wouldn't go through it (just that i wouldn't be alone) by jcp_sob_rjl_lmep Summary: Buck woke up abruptly, staring at the ceiling, hands already clutching his chest. His heart pounded and his lungs heaved for air. What was it that Coma Hen had told him? That maybe his panic attack hadn’t been a panic attack at all, but his real body going through something? Buck was pretty sure this one was a real panic attack. aka, Buck wakes up from a nightmare and needs to know Bobby is alive.

(Ted Lasso) Bird by Bird by ExuberantOcean Summary: The stress of Nate's betrayal and the press over his mental health causes Ted to have a panic attack while with the Diamond Dogs. They help him through it.

(Cursed) Scents and Sensibility by SuperLizard Summary: Chapter one: panic attack, vomiting

(9-1-1 Lone Star) Backfire by annaslibrary Summary: Tumblr prompt: Hey could you maybe write something where T.K. has a panic attack at the station and no one can calm him down but Carlos and his dad please.

(Graceland) Panic by petersnotkingyet Summary: Bates wakes up in the middle of the night and finds Mike having a panic attack. Bromance ensues

(Hawaii Five-0) hold me tight (or not at all) by icoulddothisallday Summary: Danny has panic attacks. Steve finds out

(MCU Tony Stark) Hydrophobia by Majinie Summary: Tony is fine with water. Really, truly, honestly. He can drink, bathe, shower, everything. There is no problem. He's fine. Tony is fine and Clint is an asshole. Or, how Clint triggers a panic attack in front of the whole team and tries to pick up the pieces afterwards.

(Lucifer) Deal by hearmerory Summary: Chloe didn't spend five years being best friends with the Devil just to let him go back to Hell. But recovery? Relationships? These are not things Lucifer has ever found easy. In the weeks after Lucifer's return from Hell, he and the humans, angels and demons who surround him find out how long, hard and traumatic those roads can be.

(Lucifer) Se Permaneço ou Me Desfaço by RushAndTomatoJuice Summary: When she'd suggested a trip to her mom's cabin for Christmas, Chloe hadn't expected the snow to undo the Devil.

(Lucifer) Take Me To Church by SilverWolf7 Sumary: Lucifer finds out the meaning of the word 'trigger' when on a short errand with Dan. He does not like it, or his reactions, at all.

(Lucifer) now i wake up by your side by JuliaRose12 Summary: “Sweetheart,” Chloe continues as she slowly drops to her knees in front of him. “Lucifer, you’re hyperventilating.” She reaches forward and lays a hand over his thigh. It takes everything in Lucifer not to push her away. Maybe the conversations they seem to keep having, about how Chloe feels safer with him than with anyone she’s ever known, about how she isn’t afraid to face danger if it means keeping her family safe, are starting to sink in. Lucifer looks up at the exact moment that Trixie steps towards him, and it’s like waking from the nightmare all over again. or, Lucifer has a nightmare that triggers his fear that Chloe and Trixie aren't safe around him. Like always, Chloe brings him back.

(9-1-1 Fox) The Future is Brighter than any Flashback by SilvertonguedClotpole Summary: "No dramatics" Bobby had made them promise- this would be a perfectly happy and fun BBQ that the entire crew was in desperate need of- and so, of course, something had to go and happen, right?! How could a simple handmade 'gift from the heart' from Chris end with Buck spiraling in Bobby's arms in the middle of Athena's back yard? With memories and insecurities that he had hidden away drowning him like the tsunami had tried to and the weight of losing Chris, and nearly Maddie, and Eddie finally taking its toll.

(9-1-1 Fox) Swimming Against the Tide by Scribbles97 Summary: The 118 get a call to a water park. Everything is fine until someone turns on the wave pool. The wave pool that Buck is still in.

(Downton Abbey) Same Sad You by angryessays Summary: "Thomas discovers that leaving service and moving to sunny California doesn’t cure his latent depression. He feels increasingly worse, thinking he’s letting Guy down or that he misled Guy. Guy is super patient and helps Thomas get back on his feet." (angryessays)

(Leverage) but don't you shake alone by tragicallynerdy Summary: Trapped in a collapsed building, an injured Eliot and panicking Hardison do what they can to keep each other alive, safe, and whole.

(Bridgerton) Don't let it show by LemonSquash Summary: The moment after Anthony Bridgerton heroically carries Kate back to the manor after her accident falling off the horse. Where Anthony Bridgerton runs out of the room, but this time Benedict follows him.

(MCU Loki) did you see the fear in my heart? by unintentionallyangsty Summary: During their first winter on Midgard, Thor drags Loki into a nearby town to, following Bruce's suggestion, see how the Midgardians decorate for the holidays.  Loki is less than thrilled by the development (and by the idea of celebrating a Midgardian holiday, in the first place), and things reach a breaking point when he finds himself in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers.  All but one, that is. 

(MCU Loki) looking in their eyes (when they're down); by unintentionallyangsty Summary: Mobius makes a small error in judgement, and Loki encounters an unanticipated trigger as a result. (Or; Loki needs more comfort than he is willing to admit, following a particularly difficult field mission, and Mobius is more than willing to assist).

(Lucifer) F Is For Falling by SK_Kasai Summary: "Never fear asking a question, urchin." He said after a while of uncomfortable silence, awkwardly clasping her hand in his ridiculously larger one, "Never to me, especially." "But what if I make you sad?" She asked, brow furrowing, "I really don't want you to get sad, Lucifer. You're already sad enough." "Sad?!!" He repeated, scoffing, "The devil doesn't get sad, urchin. Really, now, where do you even get these outlandish ideas?" She regarded him, unamused, still trying to decide if she should ask that question of hers. "I won't be sad." He sighed, curiousity burning, urging him to know what the bloody question had to be, "I give you my word." She sighed again, before closing her eyes and nodding. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Lucifer went for a laugh, the horrible pick-up line version of her question flashing in the back of his mind. But he failed. Tremendously.

(Shazam Billy Batson) little and broken (but still good) by MashpotatoeQueen Summary: Billy Batson finds himself alone in a crowd after losing Rosa in the quickly moving bustle, and everything is fine, really, really. It's fine. Except that it's not. It's not, because there's a little voice in his brain that goes, 'Oh no, not again,' even though that's perfectly irrational and obviously not the case here. Obviously. (He maybe sort of panics. Just a little.)

(The Witcher) an incessant burning 1derspark Summary: “Jaskier,” Geralt prompted after a while. “Can you look at me?” He shook his head and hoped that his mumbled "no" would be heard. Geralt sighed but didn’t try to move him. His hand was running a comforting trail up and down Jaskier’s back. Eventually, he spoke again. “Yen, she told me some things, but I didn’t realize…” He trailed off, and Jaskier could hear him swallow. A click of guilt in the throat. He reached over to Jaskier’s arm. When he didn’t startle or protest Geralt took his arm. He rubbed a gentle finger over the wax burn. It was a barely-there thing, nothing to get all riled up about. But even having his arm exposed made Jaskier want to crawl into a hole. (Or Jaskier’s newfound aversion to fire, and the comfort he deserves.)

(Downton Abbey) And suddenly there was a new door… MemberOfTheFates Summary: Post movie: A series of fortunate unfortunate events leads to Mr. Bates’ early retirement and Lord Grantham being in dire need of a new valet, at the same time at which Richard has to quit his job in London. Thomas really needs help realizing that he is and ever will be an important part of Downton Abbey. Fortunately, there are many people who want to see him happy and who will go to great lengths to achieve that. Will the Downton staff and family accept who he really is, when it is right in front of their eyes? And will the constant risk, his relationship brings endanger everything he fought for? OR the one where each and every person in Downton Abbey learns how much it takes to care about Thomas Barrow.

[redrobin-detective]

Ben 10 lore that exists in my heart regardless of canon

- Ben’s personality in his mid-late teens is a mix of his Alien Force and Omniverse self. On the surface, he’s very cheerful and kind even if he is a bit of arrogant showoff. He makes jokes and plays around and acts as if he isn’t bothered by the things in his life. Those who know him best understand a good portion of his outward confidence and cockiness is just a facade to cover up his insecurities and to project the ideal, effortless hero. While sometimes seen as immature, most beings know Ben 10 means business as he takes his unofficial job and people’s safety very seriously. He’s clever, adaptable, charismatic and empathetic which makes him a formidable opponent and a loyal friend. Doesn’t open up easily but if you get to him, he become so dearly attached. 

- Drinks smoothies so much for several reasons. Comfort food go brrr, reminds him of the good easy times with him Gwen and Kev. It’s also a light but generally nutritous food to give him energy for heroing. Anything too heavy and he’ll be puking (both from physical and emotional stress). Though he jokes about his mom’s health foods, his are a crazy concoction of add in proteins and vitamins/minerals bc he knows he’ll out and out collapse without it. (Still has on occasion bc boy still doesn’t eat right/enough)

- While Fame is exciting for him at first he soon begins to detest it. Not the fans, no, he can’t bring himself to hate the people who look up to him. But he hates the constant attention, that he can’t walk outside without being mobbed. the only place he feels safe is his hometown where most people are so used to him and his weirdness that they don’t react much anymore. Takes to wearing a cape and face shield when going out anywhere so he can actually get things done without being recognized and mobbed.

- Part of the reason Bellwood isn’t concerned with Ben is partially because ben’s been weird and alien for as long as they can remember but also many don’t realize how famous/powerful he is. Yeah that’s just Ben Tennyson over there, sometimes he turns into funny creatures- wait what do you MEAN he’s the savior of the universe?? He cried over a spilled smoothie the other day.

- Does mostly online schooling by the time he’s 15. At first he tries to do half day things to maintain something of a normal life but it quickly becomes overwhelming and dangerous him/the school. Finishes his GED early but the Plumbers and Azmuth make him take additional college level and alien courses to prepare him for his future role. Ben gripes but really does love learning all these things, especially on his terms (ADHD and stress + the public school system do not always go hand in hand). He’s a quick learner when he deems the information important and is made accessible to his learning needs.

- Ben definitely has ADHD speaking of which, it was nearly uncontrollable as a child bc his free-spirited parents didn’t believe in medicating. Ben convinced them he needed it and after some trial and error, found meds that worked. As he became more involved in heroics/growing up he had to change his medicine regimen (resulting in him being a bit more off the rails in OV) and needed antidepressants and therapy to manage it better. As an adult he has a whole litany of coping mechanisms (good and bad yes) and regularly checks in with his therapist and doctors to keep things under control. 

- Has a complicated relationship with his necrofriggian children. Considers himself their mother and worries after them. They too feel a connection to their parent despite this being unusual for their species. A few visit (some more than others) while they grow while others maintain distance. Ben never breathes a word of them to the media for fear of them being targeted. Still he keeps an eye on them and ensures all 14 mature to adulthood (another rarity for the species). Checks in every now and again with the ones who don’t want to see him and those that do. Two join the Plumbers and Ben is both proud and worried. His youngest becomes partners with Rook Ben.

- Just in general loves kids, they’re his favorite fans and while he’ll grumble at pushy adult fans he always smiles and kneels down for the little ones. Not so secretly wanted to have children of his own but knew it was a risk overall and used a lot of that energy with mentoring and teaching. Eventually had Kenny later in life (late 30s-40s) and was over the moon, becoming such a loving and doing parent or as much as he could be with his hectic schedule. 

- Omnitrix can’t come off, never has at any point since it first latched onto Ben’s arm. Azmuth tried and failed to get the device off, doesn’t let Ben know for many years as he feared the consequences. The watch loves and protects Ben even beyond it’s programming making him much more durable to damage and releasing energy charges when he’s threatened. Not even removing Ben’s arm would separate them. They’re stuck for life.

- Ben does have Anodite heritage but the Omnitrix actively suppresses it and uses the built up energy to power the transformations which is why ben is mostly unaffected by what should cause a massive energy drain on him. Theoretically if Ben learned to harness and safely use his Mana at an early age like Gwen he would have been fine but letting it build up without safe outlet meant activation would have killed him. Omnitrix Ben, however, went his whole life not knowing of his latent abilities and how the watch saved his life.

- Ben’s eyes get more green and glowy as time passes from the Omnitrix. At first they think its a trick of the light but by the time he’s an adult his eyes are pretty much glow in the dark. His veins light up too after long stretches of using the Omnitrix. Its vaguely unsettling to people who aren’t used to Ben.

- Max and the Earth Plumbers work so, so hard to keep teen Ben on Earth when half the universe is blowing up their comm lines asking for The Ben 10 to help with whatever problem of the day. Ben himself doesn’t quite understand when he’s younger the prestige and expectations on his shoulders. Max throws up a million and one roadblocks so Ben can live as normal a life as possible while he still can. Still, while doing that he Still overloads Ben with expectations and responsibilities on earth and beyond. He becomes a soldier again with Ben as their greatest weapon. He never forgave himself of losing sight of his grandson underneath the hero esp after Ben’s breakdown. 

- Rook partnership with Ben ends not long after Omniverse with his promotion to Magister. Ben tries to play it cool but the thought of another loved one/teammate leaving his tears him apart. Max revealing that Ben most likely wouldn’t get a new Plumber assigned partner since he’s almost an adult and won’t need it and Rook accidentally missing their last smoothie run due to a scheduling mishap causes Ben to snap and have the nervous breakdown that had been building for almost a decade. He completely loses it for a little while and needs to take an extended leave of absence from school and heroics that lasts about a year. Spends time recovering both on Earth and Galvan Prime, does some diplomatic training, learns about aliens, actually confronts the stress and loneliness of his life. He comes out the other side stronger but still fragile and exhausted.

- Ben’s above mentioned breakdown brings him closer to all his friends who didn’t quite realize the extent of Ben’s burden. Rook had been under the impression Ben didn’t like him all that much so the knowledge that his departure was the final straw for friend/hero’s collapse was shocking. Ben and Azmuth also become closer, the Galvan becoming fiercely protective of the boy seeing as his Earth family didn’t do well to keep him safe. It takes years for him to get over his anger at Max for putting so much on his grandchild. Ben makes more friends, in and out of the hero business, finally gets a therapist and gets some of his burdens eased a bit. It’s not a sure fire fix and Ben has several smaller breakdowns the rest of his life but its something.

- Azmuth was straight up suicidal before he met Ben for the first time. Ben gave him back hope for the universe and his ability to create items for peace not weapons. The boy infuriates him, frightens him, frustrates him but Azmuth cannot deny in his heart of hearts that he loves Ben dearly. He’s very upset at Ben’s breakdown and doesn’t know how to handle the worst of the initail outbursts. Azmuth talks Ben down from a suicide attempt. He reaches out to Ben that he Too felt overwhelmed by pressure, thought himself only good for war. Ben’s arrival in his life saved him and now he will do the same for Ben. It’s the first positive step forward in Ben’s recovery.

- For no other reason than I like it, Azmuth primarily refers to Ben as Benjamin (mostly to annoy the kid but he likes the way it sounds too) and Ben in softer, more serious moments. 

- Professor Paradox continues to flit in and out of Ben’s life. He says its because Ben is the most equipped to handle universal peril (true) but he’s also just very fond of the boy. Ben, existing in so many forms and having such importance also exists a beat outside of normal reality which Paradox identifies with. Ben is naturally attuned to time related problems because of this (instantly IDing Spanner as from the future before being told later deducing him to be his unborn son). Plus Ben named him, way back when. He’s just drawn to Ben.

- Adult Ben, while being seen as an impressively skilled fighter and champion, really has his strength as a universal diplomat of sorts. Based out of Earth, he helps mediate and defuse conflicts, advocate against tyranny and overall preserve peace and balance. He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes and sometimes is forced to become violent (and yes kill) but overall is regarded as a peacekeeper, something younger ben simply couldn’t understand. 

- Gwen gets her degree and primarily does work with advocacy and teaching about magic/alien culture. While she and Ben are still close, there’s a bit of a frustrated divide in that she isn’t helping him share the burden of the universe. Gwen never wanted to be a hero and has enough worth to not shackle herself to a job that’ll burn her out. Ben loves heroing but gives too much of himself away trying to fix everything. They get into screaming arguments that it wouldn’t be so bad out there if she just helped him but she refuses to budge and says he shouldn’t make himself do so much. They always make up and thy still are each other’s closest relationships.

- Ben marries Kai in a political move, Kai is Asexual and Ben Aromantic. They didn’t love each other but they got on well enough and Ben was really feeling the stress of carrying the hero burden so Kai also being involved made him feel like he wasn’t alone. Both were also so tired of the universe constantly asking about their love life and said ‘fuck it we’re married leave us alone’. Gwen was always mad about it feeling Ben deserved better but the two of them were happy with it. They had separate rooms, mostly separate lives but they became strong friends and supports with their strictly platonic marriage. They had Ken via Invitro in an incubator and were loving if extremely busy parents. 

- Also from the moment he appeared, Ben knew that Spanner was his future son, Kenny. He played ignorant and then was kind of deliberately teasing him in future encounters. He knew the rules of time and didn’t want to disrupt things further even if he was angry and worried as heck about why Ken felt the need to time travel. When future Ben catches up in the timeline, Kenny gets SUCH a lecture. 

- Ben isn’t quite immortal but he’s also not entirely human anymore either. The Omnitrix not only keeps him safe from most harm but it lightens the effect of aging. Ben 10 is active many, many years when most humans would have been forced to retire. He’s not sure how long the watch will keep him alive and it terrifies him. Gwen too is functionally immortal however she ages like a normal human, then when her natural death came, shed her skin and became a fulltime Anodite. So in the end, it was her and Ben together wondering which of them will die first. Gwen has trouble retaining her humanity as pure energy and swears she’ll let herself fizzle out when Ben goes. When that’ll be however...

[weelittleweasley]

Amnesia (p2) | Draco x Reader

If you have not read part one, you can find it here!!

Prompt: After proper diagnosis and treatment, your Healer informs you that your amnesia has effected your most recent memories. These memories include your life as a upperclassman at Hogwarts, your knowledge and skills, and arguable the most important thing to you: your relationship with Draco. When Draco hears of your condition, he is overwhelmed and scared to say the least. You two are now strangers. What happens in Part Two of this multipart series?

Warnings: memory loss, nightmares, PTSD, anxiety, mentions of death

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: This part is a slow burn, but just trust me. Shit will hit the fan soon.

This story is not about romanticizing mental health issues. These are serious conditions and this story is not meant to romanticize or fantasize these topics. It’s used as a vessel to convey a different story. That being said, please take care of yourself and sending everyone lots of love. Thank you for coming back for part two :) 

Flashbacks told in italics!

Draco watched you from the window that saw into your hospital room, his nerves and terror eating away inside of him. How was he supposed to keep calm when the love of his life almost died days ago and now does not remember a single detail of their relationship? He ran his hands through his matted platinum blonde hair before covering his face and letting out a sigh that was full of mixed emotions. He was going to fall apart in seconds if it were for your Healer passing by, so he could ask him questions about your recovery.

“So her memory is gone?” he frantically asks, pleading that the answer is no. That would just mean so much time and love and energy that you both had put into this relationship was being washed down the drain. 

The Healer places a firm, yet reassuring hand on Draco’s shoulder. “Not gone,” he speaks as Draco lets out a breath he was holding. “Temporarily lost you can say. Her memories can come back to her in random spurts or all at once. The brain is very complicated and everyone reacts differently. It could take anywhere from two days to two weeks for her to remember. There are rare cases, but it is possible, that it could be a few months for her to recover,” the Healer tells Draco as Draco swallows hard.

If it was going to take you months to remember your relationship with Draco, the boy would go mad. He needed you to remember who he was and what your relationship was like so you could both move on and live the life you had planned when you were students at Hogwarts weeks before. Draco dreamt of what it would be like when you two finally got away from the chaos. He pictured you two settling down somewhere remote, in a cottage somewhere in the countryside, maybe out of England. He pictured you having a lot of land, somewhere you could both enjoy nature and its scenic views. He imagined you with your beaming smile in one of your favorite sundresses, laying in the grass, reading a book whilst you laid your head in his lap. He would stroke your hair and watching you crinkle your nose as you laughed at something he said, him relishing in the regality of your beauty. He felt unworthy to look at something so rare and so beautifully genuine. 

Draco snaps back into reality from his daydream and speaks, “Are you sure there isn’t a charm or spell of some sort that you could use to jog her memory? Do muggles have something that you could possibly use?” Draco was desperate for an answer, a sign, a solution, something.

The Healer just smiles lightly and shakes his head. “If there was, my boy, we would have used it,” he tells him. “I’m sorry you two are going through this. I can imagine it is hard for you, but just imagine how difficult it is for her. The best thing you can do for her right now is be there for her. When she remembers, I have no doubt that your relationship will be stronger than ever.”

-------

And so Draco was there for you. Even though visitor’s hours were over, Draco stayed in the waiting room in case anything happened. Not even your parents did this. Your parents went home and told you they would be back in the morning, confident that you were in good hands with the Healers. Draco could never be too sure. You could remember him overnight and desperately need him. You could remember something about Hogwarts and need answers, to which he would be right at your side. So in the waiting room he stayed, waiting in case you needed anything. 

The ex-Slytherin prince was exhausted to say the least. He hadn’t slept since the battle, too afraid to close his eyes and see what his mind conjured. He feared he would see the eyes of his father, burning into him full of anger and disgust; his only child, his only son, betraying the family to run off with some girl. Draco feared he would see the eyes of the Dark Lord although he was dead, he feared he would find his way into Draco’s mind and into his dreams. Draco didn’t even want to think about if he saw his mother in his dreams. How he abandoned her, leaving her alone to her own devices. Worst of all, Draco knew that in his nightmares he would see you, getting hurt, pulled away from him as he clawed at his father to let him go. Draco knew he would see your limp body, bloody and frail as they carried you away to a medic. He couldn’t face his dreams; they were far too scarier than his reality.

Exhaustion pulsated throughout your body before your heavy eyelids fell, you immediately falling asleep with the help of the pain potion given to you. Today was overwhelming for you; too much has happened for your brain to process adequately. You were relieved to see your parents and Ron and Hermione, but now your diagnosis and this whole Draco situation just made things worse than you had expected. How could you just forget a whole relationship with someone that had lasted almost two years? It just didn’t seem or feel real.

You were peacefully asleep, but that’s when your dreams started for the night. Although your body was at peace, your mind raced. In your dreams, you saw flashes of fire, the screams of people echoing in the halls. Stones and rubble were all around you, bodies, dead and alive, all around. Panic entered your veins as you felt your heart sink. You’re running as fast as your legs can allow you. The taste of iron is in your mouth as you scream, your lungs burning and hot tears running down your face. You’re screaming for someone, but the words don’t come out. It’s just a scream. Chaos is growing around you as see people who you once knew die before you in the matter of seconds. Somehow you cannot control yourself in your dream as you try to run over to your friends in need, but your legs are planted. You have become stone. You see Ron from across the hall and you want to run to him, knowing that he’ll keep you safe. He’ll protect you from whatever was happening. 

But before you can run to Ron, your body pulls you in the opposite direction. You want to call out for Ron, but his name doesn’t come out. Instead, your screaming something else, but you can’t make out what. Before you can even register where you are going, you look above you and see a large boulder, making its way down to crash down on you. 

And that’s when you scream. The sound is rippling through your body as you sit up straight in your bed, eyes darting open. You stop screaming when you realize it was all a dream, a nightmare rather. Why did it all feel real? The pain in your head is creeping back up as your brain throbs as you catch your breath. Your heart is beating through your chest as sweat slowly drips down your temples. Hot and cold flashes ripple through your body as you clinch onto the white hospital sheets for dear life. Frantically, you look around the room to see if anyone was around you to come to your rescue. Were your parents still here? Ron? Anyone?

In that instant, the door flings open and there was the boy you were supposed to be in love with, his blonde hair pushed in front of his face, a panicked look in his eyes.

When Draco heard the scream, he knew it was you in an instant. He could recognize your voice easily, whether it was in joy or in pain. Draco knew you better than he knew himself. His heart sunk to his stomach at your cry and he leaped to his feet. The worst thoughts came to his mind, thinking that something awful had happened to you. Did someone come into your room and try to attack you? Was he not dead? Was it his father? 

Before he could answer any of these questions, he had practically knocked the door down just to see you sitting up straight in bed, your face covered in panic, horror, and sadness. The sight was gut wrenching. Draco wanted to run to your side, pepper your face in kisses, stroke your hair with his fingers, and tell you that he was right beside you and going nowhere; he would be there to protect you. But instead of doing so, in fear of frightening you more in your vulnerable moment, he just makes his presence known.

“Are you alright?” he asks, gently and slowly, still half standing in the doorway, half in the room in case you asked him to leave.

You take a look at the boy in front of you and wondered why he was still here in the first place. It was the middle of the night; not even your parents were here. Why did a boy you barely knew decide to stay here overnight? You don’t entertain the thought any further. “Bad dream,” you simply tell him, rubbing your eyes. 

Draco understood, there was no need to ask you any further questions. He knew that you needed time and space. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm you further.

Out of curiosity, you ask him, “What are you still doing here? It’s late.”

Draco sighs, “Uh, I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. That if you needed anything someone would be here for you. Besides, I don’t have anywhere to go...” he trails off the last sentence sadly. He ran away from his mother, there was no home for Draco right now. He was alone. And without you? He was more alone than ever before.

You both look at each other for a few moments, breathing the moment in through your nose and out of your mouths. You took the time to really take a good look at Draco. He looked exhausted; heavy bags under his eyes that pulled all the way down to the tops of his cheekbones. His hair flopped lazily in front of his face. As sad as he looked, there was something almost angelic about him in this moment. The medic lights that flickered over his head dully almost made a halo above his head as he stared upon you with the most loving, sad expression you have ever seen. You could see how a previous version of yourself fell in love. He was undeniably handsome and there was something that was absolutely magnetic about him. You wanted to be around him for some reason. 

Draco interrupts your thoughts, “I’ll be just outside if you need me.” 

He tries to slither out of the door before you stop him, not even register what you are saying until the words fall out of your mouth.

“Stay with me,” you call to him, rather than asking him like you would have preferred. 

He stops dead in his tracks and turns to you, a confused expression on his face. Did you remember him? Was this your way of telling him? 

You inhale, “I just don’t want to be alone.” It was true, you didn’t want to be alone again with you and your nightmares in fear it would attack again when you closed your eyes. “My dreams are scary,” you confess. “They seem real.”

In that moment Draco knew that the dreams you were having weren’t really dreams; they were flashbacks. He had them too when he closed his eyes. Draco knew exactly what you saw and there was no need to explain. He was just happy that you asked him to stay with you. “Of course,” he gives you a small smile, preventing a larger one from appearing on his tired face.

Draco slowly closes the door behind him before making his way to the chair near your bedside. He sits in the chair slowly and offers you a small smile. You return one to him with a small sigh. You wanted to go to sleep, but also were afraid of what you would see again. Would you dream of the same thing again? Or something worse? Would this happen all the time? 

You watch the ceiling for a few moments before speaking to Draco, “I’m afraid of closing my eyes.” You turn to him to watch his reaction and he gives you a sympathetic look.

“I am, too,” he confesses. “I see old memories that replay in my head. Horrible things. Things I did, things I bore witness to, things I tried to stop...” he looks at you sadly. It was like you both understood where the other came from. There was an unspeakable understanding that just reassured the other that they were not alone. Although you don’t remember much of Malfoy besides the limited encounters with him, you can’t help but feel bad for him. He had obviously been fighting something and you wished that it would leave him alone. “Did you want to talk about what you saw?” he asked you. You shook your head and he gave you a smile. “That’s alright. You should try and fall asleep at least. You are in recovery from a nasty injury, let’s not forget that,” he teases as you smile. He loved your smile. 

You lay back a little further in your bed relaxing. “Malfoy?” you ask as Draco’s ears perk up to his name being dropped from your lips. “Were we in love?” you ask, surprising him and yourself. But if you were going to remember the boy, you had to know if you loved him. 

Draco thought to himself, Were we in love? As much as I breathe. But he doesn’t say that. “We were,” he smiles lightly at the memory when you would look at him with love glistening in your eyes, brushing his hair with your fingers as he would pull you in close by your hips, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. The boy loved you with every fiber in his being. “Madly,” he adds with a laugh. 

As he says that, your curiosity peaks. You two must have had a beautiful relationship if he claimed you were madly in love. That was not a light statement. Without further consideration, you ask him, “Can you tell me the story? Of how we fell in love?” Draco’s eyes widen when he looks at you. “It’ll help jog my memory...I also just want to know,” you tease, making him laugh. His laugh made goosebumps appear on your forearms.

Where to start, Draco thinks. He could tell you about the story of the moment he knew that he wanted to make you his, your first date, when he asked you to be his girlfriend, the moment he told you that he loved you for the first time. There were so many good memories that he had of the two of you, it was hard to choose just one. “How about this,” he proposes, “I’ll start wherever you don’t remember. With each day, I’ll tell you a new story.”

His proposition made you smile. It seemed promising. “How do I know I’ll see you every day for a new story?” you ask, raising your brows.

Your expression made Draco smile. That teasing little smile that played on your lips was one he was so fond of. “I’ll make sure of it. That’s a promise,” he tells you. “Pinky promise.” He sticks out his left pinky finger as you loop yours with his, squeezing it. Instinctively, you kiss your thumb and Draco does the same. Your eyes widen, shocked that he did the same thing as you. You would kiss your thumb after a pinky promise ever since you were a child with your mum. As if he read your thoughts, Draco said, “I remember a lot of things, (Y/N). We also used to do that a lot.”

His words bring a smile to your face as you let go and giggle at the boy in the chair. “Alright, let me think,” you state. You scan your memory for what you remember of Draco. You remember meeting him that first night you arrived to Hogwarts when he made fun of you of being friends with Ron, you remember him teasing you in your charms class because you came to class with bedhead, running late, you remember sitting next to him at the Triwizard Tournament and stomping on his foot when he said he wished the dragon got Harry, you remember when Umbridge busted you and your friends for learning defensive magic and Draco being the first person you saw when you exited the room of requirement. “The last thing I remember was when Umbridge busted Harry and all of us for learning defensive magic behind her back. You were there and you made a comment at me. I remember being mad about it and you stood a smirked at me,” you push his arm.

Draco laughs, “Sounds about right.” You roll your eyes, turning your body gently to face Draco before he began the story. Draco had to stop himself from getting distracted at the way you looked at him, excitement in your eyes as he started his story. Your wispy pieces of hair floated over your head like a fuzzy halo, his heart fluttered at the sight. Merlin, I love you, he thought to himself. “Alright, let’s see,” he starts.

After being busted by Umbridge, you were under high surveillance. Not much to do for fun around Hogwarts anymore. No more gatherings after a certain time, no common room study sessions, the library closed after a particular hour, and not to mention boys and girls had to be separated by 8 feet. How was anyone supposed to have fun outside of academia anymore? Even Hermione belly ached about how bored she was. 

You should have expected your secret meetings to have been busted. When you heard that Umbridge had rodeoed a select few students to be on a watch patrol, you knew that their leader, Draco Malfoy, would go to the ends of the Earth if it meant busting Harry Potter. You wondered if the boy really found joy in being a dickhead to people. Although the conversations you had with Draco were limited, you could tell that some of it was a show that he put on for his other Slytherin friends. It’s like they expected him to be an arse before they even met him. Regardless, the point was that Draco was always blunt and rude around you and his company was not your preferred company.

In the library, there you were, sat at a small table during your off period, scribbling some answers down to some last minute Potions homework that you knew if you didn’t get done, Snape would have your head on a silver plate. As you scribble down your answers in a frantic fury, you don’t even notice Malfoy enter the library, his sightline going straight to you. He smiled when he saw you sitting at the table, immersed in your work, hands pulling at your own hair gently. You were a sight for sore eyes. Draco always took notice of you at Hogwarts, he just never made a move because you never left the damned Gryffindor common room. 

You didn’t even notice Draco in front of you until he hovered above you, startling you. “Merlin, Malfoy,” you jump. “What do you want? And stay eight feet away, you git. I don’t need to get into more trouble with Umbridge. You have already done enough damage,” you sneer at him.

Draco thought it was adorable when you were cross. “I came to ask you out,” he simply states. He doesn’t explain himself further. He just sits beside you at the table in the library, a smug grin on his face like you said yes to his proposition.

“What makes you think that I would want to go out with someone like you,” venom drips from your cherry flavored lips as Draco smirks. Your words did nothing to him. Oh, how that would change very quickly. “You’ve been nothing but cruel to me and my friends and now, all of a sudden you want to ask me on a date? You’re out of your bloody mind.” You continue to finish your Potions homework before Draco plucks the textbook from underneath you.

Before you can protest to his actions, he speaks, “Someone like me? And what would that be? Handsome, charming, intelligent, and funny? Sounds like a real bore,” he jokes. Merlin, he had a big head. “Not to mention, this hasn’t come all of a sudden. I’ve had my eyes on you for a while, (Y/L/N). I just haven’t mustered up the courage to ask you out properly. So here I am,” he leans on his elbow on the table, a shit eating grin on his face that you would love to smack off. “I need an answer, darling. Or else Professor Snape’s homework will just have to wait...”

You roll your eyes, “The answer you’re looking for is not the one you desire. Besides, even if I said yes, what would we even do? It’s not like we have any freedom here. We’re under constant watch.”

Draco laughs at your naiveté. “I thought you were brighter than this, (Y/L/N). I have my tricks. You can get away with a lot when you’re a Malfoy,” he pushes a strand of hair out of your face as he said this, you slapping it away as he does so. “Play nice,” he teases. “Your homework is on the line.”

Anger bubbled in your stomach, but for some reason his argument seemed to be compelling. What did he have planned? “What exactly are you thinking of doing, Malfoy?” you lean in, teasing him further as he smiles, thinking he’s won. Instead, you just pluck your textbook back from his hands, smiling as you do so. You beat him at his own game. This just made the boy more enthralled with you. 

“Ah, that’s for me to know and you to find out, darling,” he speaks. “So, I take it you’re interested?” he asks, wiggling his brows.

You really hated to admit that you were interested in his offer, curiosity getting the best of you, as it usually did. You huff, brush your hair to one side. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t,” you admit, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth. This was so unlike you.

Draco let a chuckle escape from his lips. “Brilliant. 7pm. Stay in the Gryffindor common room. I’ll come to you. I’ll see you then, kitten,” he purrs, leaving just as quickly as he came.

As Draco wraps up the story, you stare in disbelief. “There was no way I fell for that line,” you tell him, sitting up from your position in your hospital bed. “I really said yes to that cheese ball line?”

“How could you not?” he retorts. “I’m suave,” he jokes, making you laugh as you threw your head back. The sight of you laughing was enough to melt every single one of Draco’s fears. The way your nose crinkled as you laugh, your eyes squeezed shut, melodious laughter falling from your parted lips. “You’re beautiful when you laugh,” he tells you, unable to hold back his thoughts. That was Draco’s weakness. He could never lie to you. He always told you what he was thinking. It was his best quality and yet his downfall. 

His compliment makes you blush and look away from him. You weren’t uncomfortable from the comment, but you were just taken aback. Draco was someone who you barely remembered, yet you had such visceral reactions when you were with him. He brought you confusion and comfort that was oddly satisfying. You decide to change the subject. “So tell me about our first date. What did you end up doing that was so spectacular that make me stay?” you ask through a large yawn.

Draco smiles as you cover your mouth, you were obviously exhausted. “I said one story a day, you sneak,” he smiles at you. “Besides, I don’t think you would be awake for the most of it. You look exhausted. I think you should get some rest,” he rises from the chair. He was right. You were even more exhausted than you were before. You pull the covers back over your body, cuddling into the thin sheets. Draco watches as you get settled in your bed, gently smiling at how you pulled the sheet all the way up to your chin like you always did before bed. He remembers how you would always sneak into his bed at Hogwarts; you always preferred his silk sheets to your cotton ones. “Sweet dreams, (Y/N).”

The platinum blonde boy walks to the door before a thought intrudes your mind. What was the harm in speaking it? “Draco?” you call his name cautiously. He turns around to face you, eyebrows raised. You slowly pull the sheets open. “Do you wanna sleep next to me?” you ask slowly, treading lightly. You gave him the offer mostly because you felt bad about him having to sleep in a hospital waiting room until morning. Those chairs were wildly uncomfortable and no one should be forced to sleep there by themselves. But there was part of you that wanted Draco with you. There was an aura about him that reminded you of home. The way he could make you smile with just a dumb sentence was comforting. He felt familiar; like you could remember some pieces of him. Maybe if he stayed with you tonight, all the memories would come back. Maybe his touch would awaken something in you.

At the offer, Draco wanted to scream yes and climb into bed with you, snuggled next to your side, breathing in your all too familiar scent. But he didn’t want to overwhelm you. He had to tread lightly, make sure that you were comfortable. “Are you sure?” he asks, genuinely wanting to know if that was alright. “I can just stay in the waiting room, it really is no problem.”

You shake your head. “I’m positive...I want you to stay with me,” you tell him. “I could be rushing it or I could be crazy, but I think that maybe you staying with me might be helpful...for my memory.”

How could Draco argue with that logic? He smiled and closed the door, trying to hide his excitement. He took off his patent leather shoes and peeling off his blazer, getting himself comfortable before climbing next to you in bed. The hospital bed was arguable just as uncomfortable as the waiting room chairs in Draco’s opinion, but you in bed with him made it all better. Draco slid one arm carefully around your shoulder as to not disturb any painful areas. Although the gesture should have been romantic or comforting, it just felt awkward. 

You both just laid there for a moment, awkwardly laying before you give in to his touch, resting your head on his chest. Within an instant, the two of you let out a breath that you were holding in, melting into each other’s touch. This position of you resting on his chest, hearing his heartbeat made something inside you click. It did feel familiar. Something about it was familiar. 

The two of you don’t speak any words to each other. You both lay there, waiting for the other to say something. But no one says anything. What is there to be said? You allow yourself to slowly fall asleep to the slow drum of Draco’s heartbeat in your ear through his chest as Draco follows only after you are sound asleep. He knew that he could sleep once you were.

-----

As you drift back off into sleep, another dream kicks back in. This one not nearly as horrifying as the last. In fact, it was quite endearing. You aren’t at Hogwarts. You’re somewhere else. Someone’s home. It’s not yours, that’s for sure. The house was smaller, but had a large winding staircase. It isn’t until you hear multiple voices in your head that you instantly recognize where you are. It was undeniably the Burrow. Weasley’s. A smile forms on your face when you recognize your surroundings. 

In this dream of a memory, it’s Christmas time. Molly Weasley in the kitchen, cooking, something delicious smelling of sage and rosemary. Fred and George are in the backyard, building what looks like a fort of some kind, their efforts failing miserably when Ginny runs into the fort, causing it to fall down. A giggle escapes your lips.

You walk further around the house and recognize it more and more with every step. The Weasley home felt like a second home to you. So much so that Molly knew how to cook your eggs and knew the difference between yours and Ginny’s uniforms and Arthur had put a coat hanger in the side hall for you when you were over. You were here almost as often as your own childhood home. Your parents travelled a lot for work and you spent Christmas at Burrow maybe two or three times. This year was undeniably when you were in year four with Ron. You know it to be so because of Ron’s horrid haircut that you teased him about that whole year. 

As if one cue, Ron appears and pulls you to the other room and suddenly you are on the couch, a mug of hot chocolate in your hands. Ron is telling you about a prank that George had planted in Percy’s room for when he came home. You have the feeling of undeniable joy in your chest and your cheeks hurt from smiling. Have you ever had this feeling before? The two of you were laughing at the other and expressing your joy and excitement for the holiday, focusing on the company of the other. You loved spending Christmas with the Weasleys because you knew that you would have more time to bond with Ron. Ron was your first friend at Hogwarts and he was the one who introduced you to Hermione and Harry. Ron was the one to push you to go after what you wanted. Ron was your best friend and other half. Undeniably. 

In this dream, Ron looks at you in your eyes with a cheeky grin on his face and says, “I am so glad you’re here for Christmas. It makes things so much better.” He pulls you into a tight hug and kisses your forehead. “I love you.”

Before you can process the words, you speak out, “I love you more, Weasley.”

Your eyes shoot open and you slowly sit up. You were all kinds of confused. Ron Weasley? He was your best friend, sure, but the feeling you got during the dream was not one that a best friend should have. Your face was flushed, cheeks a bright shade of red. Were you blushing? Your heart beat was racing and your mouth was dry. The image of Ron smiling at you, his arm around your shoulder sticks out in your mind. Him saying I love you plays on repeat like a broken record. What was happening? This went against everything you knew and what people told you you were supposed to feel? Ron wasn’t your boyfriend; Draco was. 

Draco.

You look next to you to see Draco still peacefully asleep, lips parting that allowed light snores to escape. His arm was still draped around your figure which you once found comforting, but now you found alarming. Careful not to wake him up, you peel his arm from around you and onto his lap. His touch now was now foreign. How did this all take a 360 within a few hours?

Casting the thoughts out of your brain, you turn over to the other side of the small bed, back to Draco, trying to fall back asleep, hoping that Draco didn’t notice the change of position. You let your heavy eyelids bring you to sleep, but unbeknownst to you, Draco does notice that you are no longer peacefully asleep on his chest. But he doesn’t say anything. Disappointed, he just takes note of it and closes his eyes, but he can’t fall asleep.

-------

The morning light streams in just as quickly as it left and gently wakes you up. The light hurts your head and makes you wince in pain, softly clutching your head. You sit up slowly and rub your eyes with the heel of your free hand, trying to rid the sleep from your eyes. As you let your eyes focus again, you see Draco is sitting in the chair beside your bed like he was like night, trying his shoes. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he smiles at you. You let out a groggy morning. “The Healer left you another pain potion for this morning. He said to take it as soon as you wake up and then you are good to be discharged and go home,” Draco reports.

The thought of going home made you excited, but nervous. Home was always nice and being your parents at a time like this was definitely something you needed. However, your childhood home didn’t feel like much of a home after your time at Hogwarts, especially since your parents were always traveling and were rarely home even on holidays. If anything, home meant going back to Hogwarts or alternatively going back to the Burrow with the Weasleys...

Shaking your head, you return yourself to the current conversation. “Sounds great,” you smile and take the pain potion from off the nightstand, drinking from the small vile, contorting your face in disgust after, the fowl taste lingering on your tongue. Draco laughs as you do so. “I hate the taste,” you blush, wiping your mouth. “Are my parents here to pick me up?” you ask Draco.

“I’m not sure,” he says. “I can check with the Healer and see if your parents called or not. If not, I can always take you home. I have no problem seeing that you get back safely,” he offers with a gentle smile as you nod. “Great,” he breathes out. “Let me check for you.”

Draco moves to the door and opens it up only to reveal Ron Weasley standing there, fresh eyed and with a small smile on his face that fades when his eyes land on Draco’s. “Weasley,” Draco greets. “I was just going to grab the Healer. (Y/N)’s been discharged.��

Ron shakes his head, “I know. I’m here to pick her up.” Ron glances to you and smiles before sending you a wink. Your heart stops in your chest and your eyes widen. Something that was a friendly gesture between you and Ron now has new meaning after last night’s dream/memory. What was going on?

Interrupting your thoughts, Draco looks to Ron and says, “You’re picking up, (Y/N)? Where are her parents?”

“Is there a problem with me picking (Y/N) up? I’m her best mate after all. Plus, her parents asked me if I could whilst they dealt with preparing her room and treatments for her arrival home,” Ron pushes past Draco and straight to you. “Morning, darling. I have fresh clothes for you and your mum is making breakfast for you back at your house. Ready?”

You look back and forth between Ron and Draco and the tension between the two is palpable. You thought that Draco and Harry had problems? This was another level. “Um, yeah, I guess so,” you reply to Ron while looking at Draco who shakes his head, understanding completely. Your parents had sent Ron for you. You didn’t need Draco. Draco just gives you a small smile before walking to the door. “Wait, Draco,” you call for him like you did last night. “I’ll see you again, right? You owe me a story,” you gently smile.

Draco lets a pink hue reach his cheeks. “You’ll see me again, darling. I promise,” he tells you. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says, this directed toward Ron this time. “Until then, love,” he winks at you before walking out of the room and down the hospital corridor.

Of course, Draco wished he could be the one taking you home from the hospital. He wanted to be with you every step of the way on your recovery. Draco wanted to hold your hand and guide you through every bump in the road. But if this is what you wanted, he had to respect that. He would have his time. He was sure of it. You would come around.

Meanwhile, you changed in the bathroom into the fresh clothes Ron had brought with him. The soft cotton of your clothes made you sigh in relief, it was so much better than that itchy hospital gown. You emerge from the bathroom, straightening out your hoodie before breathing out, “Let’s go home.”

“Brilliant,” Ron beams, guiding you out of the room, his hand on the small of your back. The action makes you gasp a little bit, but you eventually relax and calm yourself down. It’s a friendly thing, (Y/N). Merlin.

The two of you exit in the hospital, leaving behind all of your fears and worries, ready to face whatever obstacle with a newfound confidence. As you climb into the car, Ron starts it and drives away from the hospital, the radio playing whatever muggle music the channel had to offer. The car ride is mostly quiet except for a few exchanges, but that’s when you notice Ron isn’t taking you back to your childhood home. Rather, you are going somewhere else.

“Ronald Weasley,” you furrow your brows. “This isn’t the way home to my parent’s house...where are you taking me?”

Ron doesn’t hide the cheeky grin from his face. “We’re going home alright,” he laughs. “Just my house.”

The Burrow. Merlin, help you.

[pa-panda-heroes]

Is it alright to request Bakugo, Todoroki, & Kirishima finding out that their usually well put together s/o secretly smokes (only to cope with stressful stuff like a rough home life) but now that she’s with them she tries to quit but then a bad mission happens & they walk in as she’s shakily holding a cig? Happy ending pls. Sorry if it’s complicated recovery isn’t linear & ive been feeling bad just thinking abt going back to it.

Sweetheart, please don’t apologize! I understand, okay? No judgements whatsoever. I’m really sorry you’ve not been feeling well, but keep fighting, love. You can do it!! You got this!! I’m so proud of you for taking this giant step for your health <3 and so are the boys :> I put it under a cut because it’s long ^^

Katsuki, Shouto, and Eijirou with a s/o who’s trying to quit smoking (Scenarios)

Warning: slight mentions of relapse, smoking

Katsuki:

He knew. He knew you’d had a particularly bad day handling an awful situation - the kind of job any hero (maybe even Katsuki himself) would pass off onto a rookie so as to avoid having to deal with it. He knew you’d been trying your hardest to quit smoking. He knew you only picked it up as a way to cope. He knew it was hard. He knew it all. He was right there with you.

Yet it didn’t break his heart any less when he got home from his own hero shift to see you trembling and holding your head with both hands, an unlit cigarette nestled between your shaky fingers. A lighter lay on the coffee table in front of you, seemingly forgotten but not really. Your sniffling was loud, and it pained Katsuki to hear it, as if with each sniffle the hand around his heart squeezed tighter and tighter.

“Y/n.” He doesn’t say or do much else, and neither do you. It’s quiet, save for your sniffling and occasional hiccups. Katsuki sighs, not out of frustration, not out of pity, and certainly not out of anger. Well, maybe there was a hint of anger, but it was not aimed at you. It was aimed at whosoever pushed the put-together, organized you to this habit which was giving you a run for its money. Quietly, he moves to sit next your trembling form, wrapped in the plush blanket you got him for his birthday last year. It smelled like him. No smoke, no ashes. Him.

“Just take deep breaths,” he says quietly, afraid to spook you, as he slowly brings up his arm to wrap around your shoulders and bring you close. You’re rigid. Stiff. And so unlike yourself. “Don’t feel bad, y/n. Stuff like this... it’s hard. There’s no such thing as perfection when it comes to recovery. No one gets it right on the first try.” It’s hard, rewiring your brain not to crave a certain substance, or anything else, really. Katsuki hasn’t dealt with this firsthand, but as a hero he’s seen enough to know no one gets it right on the first try; sometimes people slip up.

“People slip up. And that’s fine,” he continued softly. “They just need to push themselves back up and fight back even harder. I’m so fucking proud of you, alright? And you - you’re tough as hell, you know that?” He stops, as if to gauge your reaction. And react you do. You bury your head in his chest, dropping your hands to your lap without a word. Saying something is too much right now. The cigarette is still between your fingers, but Katsuki gently takes it from you and tosses it onto the table.

“Maybe you don’t realize it, but you are.” Katsuki pats your shoulder furthest from him, leaning down to whisper at you. “You’d have to be, to put up with me and my bullshit,” he jokes with a pinch to your cheek, and finally you chuckle with a wee grin. “No, seriously! I always leave the toilet seat up, I scream at the TV, I never put my laundry right into the hamper, and I always forget to wash dishes... I’m kinda hard to live with.”

“You also kick in your sleep,” you quip with a giggle, voice tiny and meek yet full of love and spunk.

“Ah hell, do I? See, the list goes on and on.”

You shake your head wistfully, your grin growing by the second, but then it leaves you for something sweeter, something quieter. “Thank you for helping me quit, Katsuki.” The gentle lilt in your voice is music to his ears, though he wouldn’t outright admit it.

He huffs at you playfully. “Aw, shaddup. With everything you put up with from me, I’d say we’re even.” He almost seems bashful at your thanking him. Maybe he is.

“No, not quite. You also walk around naked at the worst possible times.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry.”

You turn to look up at him, eyes gleaming - and not from tears. “My friend really didn’t need to see you walking around in your All Might boxers.”

He shrugs it off. “She should’ve knocked. And you shouldn’t have bought them as a gag gift, babe.” Katsuki flicks your nose gently, leaving you to you wrinkle it and recoil from him.

“Jerk!”

Shouto:

Damn paperwork.

His back hurt, his eyes burned, and his wrist was currently cramping.

Yet it was better than everything you dealt with on patrol earlier. He wasn’t sure how you made it back in one piece like you did.

With a yawn he decided that’s it, a break is most certainly due. So he’d go looking for you, maybe even just five minutes together would make him a new man. But he couldn’t find you. Oh. Shouto wasn’t panicked by any means, but he was in a hurry to find you. He knew if even after one relapse, no matter how short-lived, you would beat yourself up about it better than you do villains. Even if there was no need to. Relapse happens sometimes.

Finally, he found you in the alleyway behind the agency. And he found the cigarette. It was lit, snug between your lips and slowly developing ash. Your hand was so shaky, Shouto was worried something was medically wrong for a second before he realized himself. He called out to you, a hand reached out as he approached. You jumped in your skin, head jerking his way, one lone tear trail on your cheek. “Y/n, please put that out.”

You wipe your nose with the back of your hand unceremoniously, but it didn’t bother him. “I’m sorry,” you breathe. “It’s just- it’s hard. I feel like I’m trying to put myself back together, but I’m missing a piece. Does that make sense?”

Shouto looks at you gently. “It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to me,” he says clearly. “As long as you understand it and talk about what you’re feeling, I’m happy. Why don’t you tell me more about what you’re feeling right now? It helped last time.”

“Overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed as fuck.” You suck in a breath and bring your fingers to your lips to pick at them rather than take a drag.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. Being a hero is hard work.” He’s being supportive. He understands; he’s a hero, too.

“With everything at home when I started... and being a hero...” your voice breaks, “pushing one down for the sake of the other and trying to hold myself together and quit... it sucks, Shouto.”

Your love’s eyebrows pull upward with worry. “I’m sorry, love. You always do your best, you do so well.”

You glance at him with tears in your eyes before dropping the cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with a drawn out sigh. That... actually felt nice. It hurt, too, but it was nice.

“I know I’ve said this before, but I want you to talk to me when you’re craving, okay?” Shouto’s hands grab yours, thumbs rubbing the back of your hand soothingly and slowly. “It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing. I want you to talk to me. I want to help.”

You nod quickly, unable to form words as tears well up and your lips fight against you to grimace. You wipe at your eyes with your free hand, sniffling all the while. You choke out a quiet “thank you,” and swallow thickly, only for Shouto to lean toward you and plant a kiss to your forehead before pulling you in for a warm hug in the cool alley.

“Dont thank me,” he whispers, squeezing you tight for emphasis. “It’s only natural I want to help you. I love you. All of you. No matter what.”

You nestle your cheek to his shoulder. “Even if I fuck up?”

“Are you kidding? Of course, y/n. I’ll always be so proud of you for fighting on.”

Eijirou:

“Hey, y/n-“

You blink at him, cigarette between your lips and lighter in your shaky hand. Your eyes are puffy and your cheeks are red. The flame of the lighter licked the cigarette but did not light it, and then suddenly died out as you pulled your thumb off the plate below the wheel. You reached up and closed the window of the bathroom before sitting back down on the side of the tub with your hands in your lap. “Please don’t be mad...”

The grin he wore just before he saw the cigarette faded. “Hey, I’m not mad.”

“I had a really bad day and... I dunno.” You looked down at your hands and the lighter and cigarette within them. “I just needed one. Just one. To deal with it.”

“But...” He hesitated, worried he’d come off too chiding. “Remember? ‘Just one’ turns into two, then three...”

You nod. “I know, I know, but...” Your sniffle hits his ears and it’s hard to hear.

“I’m not mad, or trying to be mean... I’m just worried.” Eijirou scratches the back of his head almost awkwardly. “Why don’t we go for a walk, yeah? Get some fresh air, too?”

You didn’t feel like it, but agree anyway. Eijirou doesn’t take you anywhere in particular, just walking and turning here and there when he felt like it, your hand in his all the while. You’re quiet the entire time, but he speaks enough for the both of you, talking about everything he sees or whatever a certain sight seems to remind him of. His hand squeezes yours every so often, as if to remind you that you don’t need to say anything, as long as you let him do this, let him distract you, let him help you - how ever you want to word it.

But suddenly he stops and turns to you, red eyes bright and gleaming. “Can I ask something selfish of you?” It’s sudden and unlike him to ask something like this.

You’re taken aback, but nod anyway.

“Any time you get the urge, any time you catch yourself reaching for a cigarette, will you promise me you’ll get out and take a walk?” Eijirou’s voice is quiet and soothing, yet you pick up concern. “Or just get up and walk around if you’d rather not go out. Please? Even if I’m not around...?”

You smile at him, his expression immediately relaxing upon seeing it. “Promise.”

“Good! I don’t know how well distraction would work, but maybe it’ll help.” He shrugs and continues walking again, pulling you with him. He had a point. Some fresh air did feel nice, and hearing the birds chirping as you walked by a small park was relaxing. That, mixed with the warm and kind hand of your lover, seemed to wash away the awful day you’d experienced. It was so soothing, you wondered why you hadn’t thought of this sooner.

With a sweet sigh, the tension in your shoulders dies downs an you relax, finally, for the first time in a while. This was Eijirou’s doing, certainly. This walk would only be half as pleasant without him, but you promised. Push comes to shove, you could go out for a coffee or snack break on your walk to keep yourself occupied.

“Hey, Eijirou.”

His hand squeezes yours before he turns to look at you. “Hm?”

“Thank you.”

He gives you a toothy, closed-eye grin. “O’ course, sweetheart!”

[earnmysong]

won’t you pick the pieces up (don’t let me keep on walking on broken glass) [for my dearest @pasmonblog​! an entirely overboard fulfillment of winterwitch; kiss by a campfire; *vague references to wandavision, the first episode of falcon and the winter soldier, and schitt’s creek*]

Part II of my Wanda-centric series i’ll have a cup of tea (and tell you of my dreaming)

and what if i could live like this - but not forever and what if you could move the needle to a more forgiving song and what if this was never really broken all along but - for tonight - i'm sleeping with my television on

television | jack's mannequin

...

There's a story here, there’s always a story. This story starts with the good doctor’s helpful suggestion that a machine that cycles through soothing sounds might help with the nightmares. You know, the ones Bucky doesn’t have? Actually, she recommends an app he can download, but his phone needs to age a couple decades to be able to support the damn thing.

He's standing at the check-out of Atlantic Avenue’s Best Buy with three different types, already planning to chuck every single one in the garbage. A tropical rainforest is going to work miracles that the city’s constantly blaring siren soundtrack can’t? 

A hand reaches from behind to tap one of his boxes, as a pleasant lilt he can almost place warns: ‘If you leave this running all night, it dies after a week.’

‘Thanks. You use either of these?’ He turns, holding the two that are still contenders out to his informant. And grinning like an idiot because he recognizes her. Her hair and her affect are both less fiery than they’d been when he’d met her in Wakanda - her messy bun’s edging toward brown and her eyes have painful memories crammed behind them. But her expression’s warm, slightly guilty, when she shakes her head. 

‘I have this’ - Wanda touches number two - ‘but it’s still in the box.’ He wants to ask if she’s okay, if there’s an ass that needs kicking – not that he’s supposed to engage in that extracurricular anymore, and she sure as shit can take care of herself; he’s caught the news coverage, though – but she keeps going. ‘My therapist tells me this only hinders my recovery, but - ’ She shrugs, passes him a plastic case with what looks like a family and a misspelled curse on its front ‘- I love it. It’s comforting.’

‘Has to work better than whatever crap I was about to buy.’

‘I think so. You're welcome to judge for yourself. I’m happy to start at the beginning again.’

They trade numbers on the sidewalk out front, he brings lattes to her apartment two nights later, and David drives out of town in Roland’s truck as the sun rises.

…

Wanda's totally right, the doc lectures him about media immersion simply blocking his negative thoughts rather than eliminating them. He smiles serenely at her, says ‘But I have two whole friends now! Aren’t you excited?’ and leaves Wanda a voicemail on his walk home: ‘Whenever we do season two, food’s on me. Mental health should not, actually, be entertainment-dependent and Raynor’s not any happier about our combined coping skills than your guy.’

He knows she’s got class at Fordham until seven-thirty, but she’ll call when she gets out.

…

They finish the series right as the semester’s ending. 

He hen-pecks his way through Wanda’s dictation of the final paragraph of her unit plan for her Educational Methods class. 

[She'd started crying so hard at David’s ‘I am continuously impressed by you’ compliment to Alexis that there was no way in hell she could see her screen and he’d been afraid her laptop might end up with water damage, erasing all of her efforts in a flash.]

Once she’s hiccupped one last citation at him and he’s saved her paper in four different places, he glances over at her. ‘The doc’s still bugging me about finding more sustainable sleep aids. She fails to understand the medicinal properties of the Rose family. And I basically filibustered her ass on the subject last week. Nothing.’ Wanda laughs through her tears. ‘Anyway. I'm thinking of trying out the up close and personal version of ambient noise. You want to come camping this weekend?’

Wanda’s nose scrunches in disgust and her head slides from side to side, answering for her on its own. But what she offers next is a surprise: ‘I'm only coming because you can’t afford to lose any other limbs, and I can’t say that won’t happen if you’re alone.’

‘We’ll start another show as soon as we get back,’ he promises.

…

Camping blows. 

Which, judging by Wanda’s expression underneath her soggy hood, is a secret that she really wants to let him in on. Like he isn’t already fully aware. 

The fire’s somehow soldiering on despite the downpour, but they’ve got maybe five minutes before it gutters. ‘Should we admit defeat? Stay city couch commandos forever?’ 

Wanda’s entire being lights up at his suggestion, and she’d probably take flight right now if he wasn’t around. ‘Thank you’ she says instead, leaning over to frame his face between her wet palms and pressing her mouth to his. 

‘Molniya, if you were dying to go home that badly, all you had to do was say so. I can take a hint,” he tells her after they’ve spent several minutes otherwise occupied.

‘That, sir - ’ she smirks ‘ - was for everything but this brilliant disaster of yours.’

And she might levitate a little on the way to the car. 

Also on AO3: HERE!

[dropintomanga]

On a Major Loss in the Anime Community in 2020

I was browsing through Twitter today and I found out from a thread that it has been 7 months since the U.S. anime community lost one of its most important voices, Zac Bertschy, a highly-respected editor for Anime News Network. While he’s gained his share of non-fans due to his opinions, Zac has inspired an amazing number of anime fans to do more with their fandom. 

There was something in the Twitter thread I read that was eye-opening and somewhat humbling. To give some context, the thread was from Justin Sevakis, one of the founders of Anime News Network and one of Zac’s closest friends.

Justin spoke about how Zac was going through what appeared to be a heavy alcohol relapse. Zac was struggling with alcoholism for a long time. Although I never knew him personally, I followed Zac on Twitter and he was candid about issues like depression. I kind of felt like I could relate to Zac in some way as I struggled with self-hatred for such a long time until 2017. I saw him in person at Crunchyroll Expo 2017 when I was there. So I was alarmed to hear that Zac died back in May this year.

As you can see from the thread, grief is complicated as Zac ended up hurting those who were closest to him in terrible ways, including Justin, before he died. I’m not going to say things like “Oh, he should have been stronger” because drug/alcohol addiction is a problem where being strong isn’t going to solve its menacing and complex nature. I wish more people understood how vicious the cycle is for someone who feels like they can’t get any better and those who feel like they can’t help them.

I dislike how alcohol is pushed as a “medicine” and stress reliever to deal with psychological problems. However, I know we have a really tough problem with how to talk about addiction. It’s either we blame the victim and/or the support system for not trying hard enough or making good choices. Addiction treatment isn’t perfect either. 

I also remember a quote I learned from a mental health advocate on recovery, “It’s not your fault, but it’s also your responsibility.” You may have been dealt a shitty hand in life and no one should give you crap for that. However, at some point, people can only deal with so much. There are things you can control and taking ownership of your actions empowers you in a way where you can say “I’ll take back my life, not you” to any substance use disorder/mental health condition.

I want more people to feel empowered by accepting responsibility for doing things that hurt the ones they love. Being responsible is a sign of autonomy. It’s a sign that you can fight back in some way. It’s a sign of hope. It’s a sign that you won’t let your ailment completely own you. I want support systems to be taught how to give life to their loved ones suffering through addiction and/or mental illness by preaching responsibility in a compassionate way.

I know this is a random post and long after the death happened, but as someone’s who once hated himself for 15 years and reading more about the circumstances that may have led to Zac’s death, I can’t help but feel extremely sad. I’m sorry for everyone involved. You never fully become 100% again when you have a chronic problem. Treatment is usually forever. 

But I think accepting that it’s a lifelong journey to recovery is a big first step to making reasonable changes to help you get better. I wish that society actually helps addicts that do want to get better in a way that doesn’t shame them. And I want addicts to know that if their loved ones enforce boundaries, they’re trying to make sure they’re in the best shape to appropriately help when needed. They’re trying to keep the perspective on the problem, not the person who has it.

I personally think it’s nice to see Zac have a lot of meaningful impact on people and I think it’s terrible that he hurt the people he loved and who supported him before he died. But like some anime/manga series with complex characters show, human beings are both beautiful and ugly.

All I know is that 2020 has been an awful year for everyone and I hope we can use the lessons learned from this year to better encourage people in recovery  next year and beyond (that doesn’t turn into enabling) because we’re going to have a lot of psychological distress incoming.

I wish I got a chance to talk to Zac years ago when I saw him. I think we would have some lively discussion about life and society’s ills. Right now, I’ll just channel that regret and continue to fight the real enemy that Zac lost to - self-hatred and society’s insistence on it - for as long as I live.

This my last post for 2020. I hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday season. Next year is going to be an important one for all of us, so let’s get ready for it. I’ll see you then!

[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 8 Finale Review/Remix: The Final Word

The finale is here, and oh sweet fucking hell we were not ready for all that it brought us. These are the notes the series is leaving us on for the next 6 months, and the majority of them are not good feelings to dwell on for half a year. Let’s try and dissect them a little bit and hope the pain is a little less painful, okay?

Before even addressing the episode content I want to talk about the disclaimer and the episode description. Mental health is incredibly important, and if you are having issues or highly stressful or dangerous thoughts, there is no shame in seeking professional help or confiding in your loved ones so they know what you’re dealing with. The content presented within this chapter can be highly upsetting to some people, and it addresses themes of suicide and death worse than we have seen thus far. If you or a loved one are having suicidal thoughts, Rooster Teeth provides a number you can call for helpful resources and people. The episode description also features a line lifted straight from this Volume’s intro song “sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall”. Wouldn’t you know it, that’s the part of the theme that plays when Team RWBY falls through the ice and into the ominous underwater clutches of Grimm arms. With Yang being the one who falls first and farthest. How symbolic. 

We start off strong and stressful, fading in on the still dissolving Monstra to see Salem is still reforming herself. She’s not done yet, but it looks like it’s getting close... Going to a different powerhouse with white hair, Winter is fighting hard against Ironwood but not really gaining any ground. He keeps blocking her attacks with his cannon, and worse still he keeps trying to explain why he’s right. He shouldn’t be blamed for any of this because he’s been sacrificing so much for the mission. Except, as she points out, he hasn’t. He’s sacrificed a lot of other people or made them sacrifice everything for him and on his orders. He hasn’t actually sacrificed anything himself, because his ego won’t allow it. He thinks he’s too important to actually give up his own life even if it means saving anyone else. Cuz that’s not what this is about. He says he’s doing what’s best for Remnant but it’s really what’s best for him and his image and his confidence, such as shutting down major commerce routes and destroying half of the Kingdom just because it was lower income neighborhoods full of commoners. But might makes right in this fight, and Ironwood is currently smacking Winter around with his might so it’s an uphill battle for justice.

Speaking of uphill battles, we go back through the portals to see the continuation of Maiden Bowl 2021 as Cinder keeps blasting Penny around before Weiss comes in on a Lancer summon to save her friend and fellow Atlesian. In a very brief shift from the action Jaune reminds Nora their top priority is evacuating the civilians, so that’s our clue that they probably won’t be jumping into the fight any time soon. Back on the Lancer, Penny tells Weiss that since Cinder wants the Maiden power she can act as bait and lure the Fall Maiden away so the others can safely get away. Weiss doesn’t like that idea, but before they can think of an alternative the summon is shot down and they land hard on the main crossroads of the paths before the gate into Vacuo. Neither of their Aura’s are broken, but they do need a moment to get back on their feet as Cinder lands between them and their escape. Penny is the first back up, and stands between her foe and her friend pleading for the madwoman’s undivided attention so the Staff doesn’t get snatched and Weiss isn’t killed in this moment of recovery. But Cinder’s eyes are bigger than her stomach and she wants every bit of power and importance before her. Before she can swoop in to destroy all she sees and claim all she wants... Cinder gets double boot kicked in the face by Blake. The interruption gives Cinder momentary pause and in that time the Faunus pleadingly kicks her silver haired teammate back into high gear. That’s a whole lot of flowery language when I could just say “After she swoops in and kicks Cinder in the face, Blake tells Weiss to get up”, but this is my last review for months and I wanna give you your money’s worth. Weiss runs off to go help elsewhere, while Blake and Penny engage with Cinder.

But we don’t have time to see how that fight goes right now, because we have to turn our attention to the sky. Even though he was the one to crash through the windshield and attack her, Qrow wants to talk Harriet down and not fight. He tries to explain and apologize for his culpability in Clover’s death, but she really doesn’t want to hear that name right now. She actually gets so mad that he’s trying to talk her down that she cuts the ropes holding down the bomb and slams her fists on the floor of the ship so it’ll tilt back and the bomb will fall out onto the city below. Qrow leaps into the path of the sliding bomb and tries to stop it, which just infuriates Harriet more cuz he just keeps interfering. But the interference doesn’t stop there, because Vine grabs the back of the airship and we see he’s being held sturdily to the roof of Robyn’s airship by Elm. We can assume Marrow is inside recovering from tanking an explosion, but Hare’s fellow Ace Ops have fully changed their tune and don’t want her to finish this mission. She screams at them for making this all the more difficult for her, but they’re doing this out of kindness. As possibly the smartest yet most obvious thing she’s said all Volume, Elm admits that YES, the Ace Ops are friends and care about each other outside of the professional sense. And as a friend, Elm doesn’t want her to risk her life for a dumb act of cruelty from a bitter man. Before Hare can fully process this news and express her regrets, the bomb slips further towards the open door and Qrow gets pushed aside with a dismayed cry. In a last act of desperation that I had a hard time understanding at first, he pulls out Clover’s lucky pin and seems to pray to it. I thought he was about to throw it in the path of the bomb so it would get wedged and damage the pin beyond repair for the sake of stopping its momentum. But no, he was just hoping for a little of Clover’s good luck to have rubbed off on the pin. And as if from beyond the grave, some luck does come to them. The bomb stops moving just as it’s teetering towards the edge, and they all breath a sigh of relief... before Watts remotely activates the countdown anyway because he’s a bastard.

Back in the in-between dimension, Ruby is still trying to subdue Neo and is being flawlessly countered at every turn. Neo practically looks bored by all this, just waiting for Ruby to get tired out so she can kill her. Ruby gets knocked down but before Neo can cut through the last of her Aura for the kill Weiss skates in on her glyphs and delivers a proverbial one-two punch of attacking with Myrtenaster and the Staff of Creation. Neo blocks the first but the second knocks her backwards into a portal. Seeing this from a distance frustrates Cinder as she continues to rather easily hold off Penny and Blake, so easily in fact that she knocks Blake off the ledge with a single blast and Penny has to fly off and save her. Weiss helps Ruby back to her feet and encourages her to keep fighting for the sake of avenging Yang/ surviving so her loss wasn’t in vain. The two of them being in close proximity is just what Cinder was hoping for though, and she creates a hot spot beneath them set to explode and send them flying. I’m really not sure what else to call it, but she does it fairly frequently so you know what I’m referring to. Looks like a glyph but it’s just fire. Weiss notices the danger first, and shoves Ruby out of the way while handing her the Staff in the same motion. By the time Ruby realizes she’s being saved, Weiss has already been knocked into the air... and falls back down on the same platform. Thank goodness for small miracles, though it does take out all of Weiss’ Aura so she won’t be able to save herself with glyphs if anything else happens. Ruby doesn’t have time to help her partner because Neo comes charging back in and reengages her attack, and now it’s harder to defend because she can only handle Crescent Rose with one hand now that she’s carrying the Staff with the other. Ruby is sent flying onto a pathway while losing the Staff to Neo, and Crescent Rose fully falls over the edge and leaves her disarmed.

From one speedster panicking in the face of danger to another, we go back to the airships and you better get a tissue ready. Qrow has discovered the autopilot is forcibly engaged and they can’t undo that, so he says their safest bet is abandoning ship and trying to get out of the blast radius. Harriet has gone full depressive breakdown and says the countdown is too far along for them to flee in time, so they’re all doomed and it’s her own damn fault. I would certainly agree, but it’s hard to try and hold that against her right now. Elm and Vine share a look before Vine leaps aboard and carefully lifts Harriet off the ship and into Elm’s arms. He looks at the bomb, then he looks at his own hands, and we realizes what he’s planning at the same time Elm does. Well, maybe she realized it when they shared that look, but it certainly sinks in now. He insists that he can and will because it’ll mean his dear friends will be safe. Harriet breaks down in tearful screams and has to be dragged inside, while Qrow shares a look with Vine and jumps out to fly away. Maybe he was trying to say “We appreciate this sacrifice, thank you for choosing the right side, Clover would be proud of you for looking out for the team like this”, who’s to say? I’d certainly like to think so because that would be a very meaningful goodbye. Vine spreads his arms and brings his palms back together in front of him in a very zen pose, presumably as he gathers and focuses his Aura. Then he sends out eight energy tendrils that spread out and become an Aura bubble around the airship, and we see it keep flying for a few more seconds while we pan back to get the view from the rest of the Ace Ops and the birds. BOOM, the bubble is stretched in several places by the force of the explosion, then it dissolves and releases heavy smoke. The bomb has gone off, the ship is gone, and Vine has died. But no one down in Mantle was affected, and the other 3 Ace Ops are okay if not heavily depressed by this new loss. He was a hero.

Speaking of heroes doing bold things, Neo came down onto the path Ruby is on and the young huntresses has been pushed back to the edge trying to get some distance from her. She tells the little psycho “I hope it was worth it”, and raises her arms as if surrendering to her fate. When Neo takes the bait and lunges at her, Ruby falls backwards over the edge and swoops back around with her semblance to shove her foe over the edge, though Neo does manage to hold onto the edge and avoid plummeting to her presumed death. Before Ruby can catch the Staff Neo threw in the air, Cinder blasts her in the back with fire and wipes out her Aura. The force of the attack also knocks her over the edge as well, where she is able to grab onto Neo’s legs. Cinder kicks the Staff into the air and catches it, then looks over the edge at the two hanging on for dear life. You’d be forgiven for assuming she’ll reach down and save Neo since she just apologized to her last episode, but instead she stretches her arm further down and takes the Lamp from her. Cinder is unmatched in her ability to hold a grudge, and Neo threatened to leave her to face Salem’s wrath over the loss of the Lamp over text two episodes back. She makes the backstabbing official by kicking Hush (Neo’s parasol in case you forgot the name they’ve never actually said in canon) over the edge and telling her now ex-partner “You never should have threatened me”. Ruby seems to be charging her silver eyes, but before she can do anything Cinder tells her she should have never been born and bashes Neo’s gripping fingers with the blunt end of the Staff. Both young women fall helplessly, but Cinder’s attention is drawn by Penny flying in carrying Blake since the two of them yell their friend’s name in dismay. Cinder sends a fireball at them but Blake gets thrown ahead while Penny takes the hit. Blake grabs Ruby out of the air and throws Gambol Shroud up to anchor into a path and let them swing to safety, but Neo is not saved and disappears into the void offscreen. The save works and it seems like they’ll be safe... but Cinder shoots a fireball that cuts the ribbon. Both Blake and Ruby fall into the the void and disappear, leaving a very upset Penny. If anyone is more anguished than her it’s Weiss, who grabs Gambol Shroud and shoots Cinder, her hands trembling and eyes welling with tears. The bullets do very little damage but it gets Cinder’s attention. 

Jaune and Nora meet up in front of the gate into Vacuo, and he instructs her to go through and get them backup for this fight. They part with determined smiles, but our hearts sink with the knowledge that the Vacuo portal is one way so Nora won’t be able to accomplish this last mission for him. Her self doubts are gonna take a real serious plummet from this. Stupid well played dramatic irony... Cinder is knocking Weiss around and mocks her for being the last one standing by implying she let the others die to save herself because she’s a selfish Schnee only looking out for herself. We know damn well that’s the farthest thing from the truth and Cinder has never cared enough to understand the bonds of Weiss’ friendships. As many have pointed out, this is a tragic departure from the promise Ruby made at the start of Volume 6 that Team RWBY wouldn’t leave Weiss side for even a second while they were in Atlas. But she’s still not alone because Penny blocks a beam of fire heading for Weiss and Jaune glides in to slam Cinder with his shield and use the gravity Dust to knock her back even more. As Penny points out, Cinder knows nothing of friends and we can clearly see Weiss still has some to stand with her. And stand they do, Weiss now dual wielding her own sword as well as Blake’s. Before Cinder can try to triumph in the face of these seemingly stacked odds, her Grimm arm starts convulsing and she screams with pain. The heroes share a confused look, but Cinder soon settles down and smirks with the realization of what this means. Salem has fully reformed, which gives Cinder new confidence that she puts to good use with a shockwave of fire to knock the good guys back a few paces. She tosses fiery glass swords at Jaune and Wiess but Penny deflects both of them and flies right at Cinder, who counters with a fiery kick to the ground. Whether Penny diverts the row of fire in front of her to spread to her sides instead or Cinder intentionally made the V shape to make dividers between the three heroes is unknown, but before anyone can react to this new obstacle Penny is stabbed in the chest by Cinder’s Grimm claws. The poor girl really has been made flesh and blood, because her wounds are bleeding while Cinder starts draining the Maiden power from her. Between the Amity fight and this encounter, I have to wonder what percentage of the powers have gone to Cinder by this point vs how much Penny still has... As her vision starts to blur and she falls onto her back, Penny sees Weiss charge in to attack Cinder and stop her from continuing to absorb Penny’s power and then Jaune come kneel over her and start healing her. He saved Weiss from a similar wound and this time he’s starting the process far more promptly, there are very good odds he could save Penny. But the problem here is time, Cinder isn’t going to let him complete the job and Weiss is sorely outmatched. She does see an alternative, but it’s heart shattering to hear from her. Jaune can kill her here and now and let her decide who will be in her final thoughts. They can’t risk Cinder stealing the Winter Maiden powers as well as having both relics, so ending Penny’s life quickly is unfortunately necessary. Penny begs him to trust her on this and let her choose how she dies since she didn’t get the opportunity to choose many things about how she lived. She obeyed her father’s wishes, followed Ironwood’s orders, went along with her friends’ plans, etc. Some of those times were good and she was glad she did what she did. But choice is the attribute of one of the relics for a reason, it’s a key part of humanity, and with her last moments she wants to express hers.

We cut back for brief moments a couple times during this very tense moment to see Winter’s fight with Ironwood juxtaposed with her sister’s losing struggle with Cinder, and the audience is meant to wonder which of the Schnee sisters Penny might be about to bestow the upper hand to in the form of Maiden power. Or she could think of Ruby and the power would go to her as proof she and the others didn’t die, or it could go to Nora because of the moments they shared discussing finding your whole self? We literally won’t know until she’s dead, and I’m not rushing to get to that point. Jaune looks at his own hesitant reflection in his sword, and for the first time it really seems to sink in that this is a sharpened steel weapon with lethal capabilities. It always seemed like the least impressive weapon in a world of giant scythes and wrist mounted shotguns, but we fear its blade more than anything in this moment. Weiss seems about to be killed, having had Gambol Shroud knocked from her hand into the abyss, when Cinder is distracted by Jaune screaming and weeping as we see both tear drops and blood drops fall to the floor by Penny’s lifeless body. The argument has been made that this was a bad move from a narrative standpoint, that he was only the one to get the kill or Penny only died so Jaune could get more angst and importance in the story, and various other points that add up to a lot of dislike for the character. I can’t even accurately articulate the argument because I give so little credit to its accuracy or plausibility. I even want to say, though there’s no way to back it up and its just me giving a little benefit of the doubt to theatrics, that he only made such a ruckus after the kill because he knew it would spare Weiss for a few moments longer. Cinder is going to see Penny dead and know the powers are not hers so she’ll go ballistic on Jaune for taking that away from her, and the heat will be off Weiss. Speaking of bad beatings, Winter gets pistol whipped and is about to lose too. But with the dripping of the blood soaked sword, the screen goes white and we see Penny hopping on the balls on her feet waiting for someone to arrive in this empty white void. They do, and she greets them with one last “SALUTATIONS!~” that made me cry even remembering. The one she has chosen to inherit her power is Winter, and when she finds out she’s here because she was the one in Penny’s last thoughts it seems to break her heart. But Penny would have it no other way, it was supposed to go to Winter anyway, she was the one who intervened and made things complicated. Winter disagrees with that though, Penny has proven far more worthy of these powers than an blindly obedient soldier like her. Penny was always more human where it counted and Winter was the machine, but Penny takes her hands and assures her she was plenty human enough by being a good friend. The powers start to go from one woman to the other and Winter tries to say that she’ll always remember Penny after she’s gone, or at least I assume that’s the heartfelt sentiment she’s going for, but our sweet redhead reminds her of her own words when Fria died. She won’t be gone, she’ll be a part of Winter now. That makes Winter feel a little better, and Penny gives her a smile as she fades away. Penny Polendina was a very cheerful girl, and she died happy in the knowledge she helped so many who will call her friend.

Winter reawakens on the floor of the Vault with Ironwood saying she’s finally reached the destiny he chose for her, as if this will suddenly make him a good person or convince her to change her allegiances back to him. She staggers to her feet and rises in a whirlwind of blue snow, Jimmy realizing all too late he might actually have miscalculated and be in danger now. I really love her defiant response to him, but I feel like it could have been a little more powerful with a small addition. Observe. “You chose nothing. This was a gift... from my best friend.” Either way, he realizes he now has an even stronger Winter Maiden as his enemy and tries to take her down with his greek fire cannon, but she creates a shield of ice that reflects the blast back at him. From the horrified expression he makes and the power we saw this weapon have against mortal man, I fully expected this to be Ironwood’s death. Hoisted by his own petard, no one to blame but himself for this fate. He could have not attacked her and he’d be fine, he could have decided to stop anywhere along this path and been spared. Defeated by someone literally made stronger with the power of friendship and trust, while he has been paranoid and severing bonds all this time. But no... he lives cuz it was a weakened blast after the redirect, or he still had his Aura to protect him, or whatever logic you want to use. Regardless, he’s down for the count right now and Winter flies away to deal with more important problems. He’s been removed from power and is only a major threat in his own mind, she doesn’t care anymore. As could have been expected, Cinder is outraged over what Jaune has done and attacks him rather than finishing off Weiss. He knocks her flying tackle back with his shield but she rebounds with a sword swipe he meets in kind. Blood stained steel meets tempered glass, and the steel loses. Jaune’s sword, a family heirloom from the Great War that he reforged after losing Pyrrha, is broken in half by Cinder’s attack and he is left at her mercy. The mad Fall Maiden demands to know who and where the power of Winter has gone to, and receives her answer in the worst way she could have hoped for: an icy blue blast to the head. Whether that was ice or specially colored fire or lightning is unknown, but it gets Cinder’s anger and attention. She was probably really hoping the strongest and smartest of Ironwood’s elite wouldn’t get the power to match her on a magical level, but she’s too determined and cocksure to stop her assault now and the two do battle in the air. Winter uses both magic and summons to deal with Cinder, but while the latter ends up dropping the Staff in the scuffle it still seems like an even match for the moment. Cinder sees Weiss and Jaune staggering towards the exit and decides to choose some easier targets for extra emotional damage. By the time Winter can realize the danger her sister is in, it’s too late and the two sword wielders are blasted by another of Cinder’s eruption blasts. Jaune skids across the path and loses his Aura, but Weiss is tossed over the side entirely and Winter isn’t fast enough. Weiss falls into the void, the last of Team RWBY dead and gone for all we know. 

I want to deeply praise Elizabeth Maxwell for her performance as Winter, both in the series as a whole and for this episode especially. She shows so many emotions so strongly and believably, and you can tell she’s putting heart and soul into it. Nowhere do I feel that more clearly than in this moment where Winter cries out for Weiss with so much despair and regret. She flies back up and collapses onto the path in tears, her reaction speaking volumes to Jaune. Cinder retrieves the Staff and Winter is ready to raise hell in revenge, but before anyone can attack Salem’s scream can be heard echoing through every portal in the place. Cinder realizes she needs to return to her mistress’s side so she can’t try and finish the job, while Jaune has to tell Winter repeatedly that they need to get to safety now so she just swears recompense later down the line. Winter flies to Vacuo while Fall goes back into the falling Atlas, and once she’s through all the portals and pathways start disappearing. Jaune tries his best to make it to the Vacuo gate in time, but he’s been cursed by the animators with a slow run cycle. Or he’s just really exhausted and weighed down by armor and weapons, who’s to say? Winter realizes she’s taken the lead too late and disappears into Vacuo just as she tries to turn around and reach out for Jaune. He dives the last couple feet to get through as the ground dissolves below his feet, but the last way out evaporates between his fingertips. Jaune Arc is the last one in the central location, and the last to fall into the void. On the other side Nora is futilely pounding on the portal trying to go back through and save her leader, while Em Ren and Oscar are putting up a valiant but outclassed fight against the Ravagers (the bat Grimm) and the small scorpion-like Sulfur Fish. Fun fact, those ones were the winning design submission from a contest last year. Before the teens and the crowd they’re protecting can get overwhelmed, a gale force wind blows the Grimm back. All eyes turn to see Winter float above the crowd as the magic door disappears behind her, including the eyes of her surviving family members. Thank goodness there was a portal available for Willow Whitley and Klein, though the look they all share makes it clear they realize Weiss did not make it. Rather than break down, Winter turns her sadness to rage and charges at the returning Grimm swarm.

We cut back to Atlas where much to my annoyance Ironwood has regained consciousness to see Cinder descending the Vault stairs with the relics in tow. But she won’t be winning the award for dramatic entrances, because Salem flies down the elevator shaft as a cloud of black smoke like a scene out of Harry Potter. She swirls around Cinder once or twice before reforming before her. And Cinder starts doing what she does best, lies out her ass to save her own skin. She claims Team RWBY used the last question for Jinn and then Neo killed Ruby while thousands were able to survive the fall of Atlas and make it to Vacuo, and that she had to make the conscious choice to let the Winter Maiden escape at the cost of all their allies so she could secure the relics for her mistress. Let me remind you what really happened. CINDER used the last question, CINDER killed Ruby and Neo out of petty revenge, CINDER killed the last Winter Maiden but couldn’t get the powers out of her or stop the stronger new one, and CINDER let thousands escape into Vacuo because she was too busy going for Penny and the relics. Oh, and Team RWBY and Neo aren’t actually dead, spoilers. So if any of those lies are revealed CINDER is going to pay a hefty price for her selfish deception. But for the moment Salem seems to believe her or at least lets it slide because she does have two relics now, and Cinder had the humility to say she was sorry. I like that Ironwood also hears the tale of Team RWBY heroically sacrificing themselves to stop the villains and actually having the nerve to give their own lives rather than the lives of others, unlike him. And, they saved so so so many more people than he did, and he was trying to arrest and foil them all this time. Perhaps now he’s a little humbled and realizes he’s not the hero of Atlas anymore. There will be no more Atlas and RWBY are the saviors of its survivors. As the two wicked women depart the Vault, Salem asks her acolyte what she made to replace what Team RWBY had created. Through another half truth Cinder reveals to us she locked Watts in the Atlas central command room and created a large fire. He roasted her savagely on an emotional level, so she literally roasted him alive with the biggest flames magic could afford. Cinder, Tyrian, and Mercury are now the only members of Salem’s inner circle. Wonder if she’ll recruit more in Vacuo to compensate? Ironwood grabs his pistol and is about to shoot at Cinder, but she turns and tells him this is checkmate and he’s too scared to pull the trigger. He knows he’d lose and even now he doesn’t want that disgrace. So instead he’ll lie here as Atlas crashes into Mantle and becomes flooded by a sudden influx of sea water. Cinder and Salem observe from the air as Atlas becomes Atlantis, while Qrow tries to get in contact with either of his nieces over comms aboard the ship with Robyn and the surviving Ace Ops... and comes up empty. Cinder’s declaration that this is Checkmate for the villains is actually the last audible dialogue, anything Qrow tried to say being silent with only music playing. It’s a depressing and somber note, and that’s where our Volume ends.

But there is more to say, of course. First of all, let me wipe away these tears and try to articulate how good the song for the end credits is.... It’s called Friend, and for the first time it is a song sung from Penny’s perspective. It sounds absolutely sweet and magical, like you’re peacefully flying through a cloudless starry sky, and she sings about how glad she was to have true friends like Team RWBY, especially one like Ruby. Even if her life was difficult sometimes, she’s very happy because it was as wonderful as a wish upon a star come true. I cannot lie, I start crying every five seconds as I try to write this. It’s probably going to be my favorite track on the soundtrack this summer. With the conclusion of the Volume I want to say how much I appreciate every bit of work every member of the RWBY cast and crew put into this season and this show. I cannot wait to see what wonderful things they do next.

Hark! There is one final scene! A mysterious tropical island with a massive tree in the center and strange hexagonal shapes in the sand, and just beyond the reach of the tide lies wedged in that sand... Crescent Rose. Team RWBY and the others are alive, but we’ll have to wait 5 months to find out where they have found themselves. My money is on a magical godly realm where we might learn more about the creation of Remnant. Until then, enjoy the last of my memes and any other shitposts!

[justforbooks]

Why do we read? The wealth of genres available suggests that some of us read for comfort, escapism, knowledge, or to improve ourselves. Whilst these are all perfectly valid reasons, it’s also worth thinking about reading about themes, perspectives, and societies that go beyond our own comfort zones.

During the Covid-19 pandemic, it has been estimated by the proofreading service, Global English Editing, that 35% of the people in the world have read more books than usual this year.

With normality disrupted, is it no wonder we have turned to books more? Books can give us all sorts of benefits, but when thinking about our reading habits during a pandemic, it is worth looking at this from a mental health perspective.

The Benefits of Reading — But Why It Should Also Challenge Us

Reading can force us to be mindful, take us away from the blaring digital world that we have become more reliant on, and force us into the present by talking one page at a time. “Bibliotherapy” is a relatively new form of reading therapy being used in clinics, libraries, and schools to promote recovery in people with mental health difficulties in some places in the world.

With these mental health benefits in mind, it is one explanation for why so many of us have taken to reading during the pandemic. But reading to improve our mental health can also be coupled with challenging and educating ourselves. Reading fiction is one of the best ways to do this. Not only are you benefiting from its natural escapism, but in many cases, fiction forces you to put yourself within the shoes of others.

A central theme with my reading habits in 2020 was choosing books that challenged me. In this respect — the books that follow have forced me to go beyond what’s comfortable — as I have learnt about different issues experienced by characters I wouldn’t necessarily encounter in my daily life.

Each has changed my perspective on a range of issues — highlighting why it’s important to read books that challenge us.

An American Marriage, Tayari Jones

Literary fiction

Celestial and Roy are a newlywed couple — for a brief moment — they indulge in the feeling of being married and the excitement of spending the rest of their lives together. Until one incident changes everything. Roy is wrongly accused of a crime he didn’t commit and is sent to jail for the rape of a woman.

“Much of life is timing and circumstance, I see that now.”

Whilst in jail, Roy desperately tries to keep his new marriage alive, whilst sending Celestial letters and hoping for a better future. But Celestial cannot continue to live her life waiting for theirs to start. In many ways, it is a story about relationships and love but heavily tainted by the blatant racism that lays at the heart of the American criminal justice system and how it has the power to alter lives.

Why Did it Challenge Me?

Reading this as a white woman, made me realise this situation would never happen to me. Reading from the point of view of Roy, a black man, wrongly convicted for a crime he didn’t commit purely on the grounds of his race and circumstance — was a learning experience for me.

I grew up in a considerably white town. Until fairly recently, I knew very little about racism and how it perpetuates the very systems that we typically view as ‘just.’ Therefore, reading about these types of experiences that I wouldn’t usually be exposed to in my life, was essential for me.

“Twelve years is what they gave him. We would be forty-three years old when he was released. I couldn’t even imagine myself at such an age. Roy understood that twelve years was an eternity because he sobbed right there on the defendants’ table. His knees gave way, and he fell into his chair, The judge paused and demanded that Roy bear this news on his feet. He stood again and cried, not like a baby, but in the way that only a grown man can cry, from the bottom of his feet through his torso and finally through his mouth…”

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell

Political fiction

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists was written during the early twentieth century and tells the story of a group of Edwardian workers. Owen, the outspoken socialist, makes it his mission to persuade and educate the rest of the group on the importance of a fairer society. He tries to make them realise the extent of their exploitation and how little it achieves — but he is always fighting an uphill battle.

In many ways, this book could be regarded as a socialist manifesto. But in others, it is far more than that. Through Owen, as readers, we learn that poverty is not about misconceptions such as laziness, but is more often than not, a political choice.

It’s rhetoric surrounding the workplace, and the unskilled versus the skilled worker highlights how we still undervalue certain people in society. Nurses and cleaners make up the groundwork of our society; however, they are still persistently underpaid. Throughout the novel, Owen makes a case for a redistribution of wealth, workplace rights and an overhaul of the capitalist system which in his eyes, is responsible for the vicious cycle of poverty they find themselves in.

“Every man who is not helping to bring about a better state of affairs for the future is helping to perpetuate the present misery and is, therefore, the enemy of his own children.”

Despite being written long ago, it contains an essential insight into the reality of working-class, Edwardian poverty, poor workplace conditions, and poverty workers' experience to keep themselves alive. Of course, it is inherently political, but it also teaches readers about human and societal values. Such as fairness, equality, and decency.

Why Did it Challenge Me?

Despite it being set during a very different time, it made me re-evaluate all the problems within our own society whether that’s the persistent gender pay gap, poor sick pay, or people not being eligible for financial help during the Covid crisis when they’ve had to stay at home during lockdowns.

Above all, the descriptive scenes of the workplace — most notably — one in which a young boy, Bert, who is told off for trying to light a fire to keep himself warm — made me realise how brutal and hard work manual labour jobs in the Edwardian period were — and how little rights they had.

Such A Fun Age

Fiction

Emira is a young black woman, living in Philidelphia and trying to find her feet. She works as a babysitter for a middle-class, white blogger who thinks she’s all clued up on race. Through the perspective of Emira, the novel deals with the casual forms of racism and microaggressions that many of us (particularly white people) may not usually notice in our day to day lives.

“Emira had met several “Mrs. Chamberlains” before. They were all rich and overly nice and particularly lovely to the people that served them. Emira knew that Mrs. Chamberlain wanted a friendship, but she also knew that Mrs. Chamberlain would never display the same efforts of kindness with her friends as she did with Emira: “accidentally” ordering two salads and offering one to Emira, or sending her home with a bag filled with frozen dinners and soups.”

Switching between Emira’s perspective, and Alix’s, the blogger, Such a Fun Age is a poignant, comical and revealing portrayal of the present world and the half-hearted ways in which white people commonly approach the subject of race. Alix thinks she is all clued up on what it’s like to be a black woman, as she has plenty of black friends, and after all, employs a young black woman.

Stephanie Hayes, writing in The Atlantic, sums her character up brilliantly in stating that the novel, “satirizes the white pursuit of wokeness.” Furthermore, this switching between two completely different characters means,

“Alix’s myopia isn’t lost on Emira. Writing from the younger woman’s point of view, Reid renders white people whose eagerness to shed their blinkers results in fumbling attempts to identify with black people — as much to burnish their own images as to genuinely connect with others.”

Why Did It Challenge Me?

It made me realise that some of the ways I used to approach talking about race — were wrong. By reading about Emria’s experience with her boss, Alix, I was exposed to the realities of casual racism. Something, as a white woman, I am have never experienced myself. This is obviously something I will never understand, but after reading this, I feel more aware and educated about it.

Reading this forced me into the perspective of Emira, a character living completely outside my own bubble. It opened my mind up to how the daily lives of others can be so different. Most of all, it forced me to stop and think.

Keep the Aspidistra Flying, George Orwell

Political fiction

This book encapsulates the dilemma that many young, recent graduates like myself, have to deal with. Do you strive to embark on a career that’s safe and stable, or pursue something you love, even if it takes longer and involves many more hurdles along the way? Gordon, the protagonist, has a safe job at an advertising firm; however, he gives this all up to work in a bookshop, for a slither of his previous salary.

After leaping into the unknown, he tries to stand against the capitalist society he feels he is forced into. Deliberately quitting a good job, and living below the poverty line, Gordon thinks he is making a robust, political stand. He tells the reader how he hates money and how this rampant need fuels every part of our society.

However, Gordon eventually realises the errors of his ways — as he learns his actions aren’t realistic because they aren’t encouraging a change to the system.

“The mistake you make, don’t you see, is in thinking one can live in a corrupt society without being corrupt oneself. After all, what do you achieve by refusing to make money? You’re trying to behave as though one could stand right outside our economic system. But one can’t. One’s got to change the system, or one changes nothing.”

Why Did It Challenge Me?

In this current job climate, it was a reminder that at the moment, no industry is ‘safe’ and that there is no such thing as a ‘proper’ job. Those jobs such as advertising, marketing, retail and hospitality — that we were always taught—were secure and ripped apart during the pandemic. It made me think about my own plans and perceptions of the job market.

Additionally, Gordon’s inherent dislike of money and the capitalist world reignited my desire for a more minimalist outlook and society. After all, money is never the route of all happiness.

Reading fiction is an enjoyable form of escapism, but it can also teach us a lot about other peoples’ lives, and challenge our own ideas and values. We can often become comfortable living in our own bubbles and reading the same books we have always turned to.

But reading fiction can help challenge our own comfort and promote a more diverse world view — when dealing with subjects such as race, society and culture. By reading fiction, we get to be inside the minds and live inside others' shoes we may never encounter in real life. Thus, it’s a form of stepping outside that comfort bubble, a form of social education, and a way of understanding people.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Final Review: Not terrible but not entirely laudable either...

*sigh* Where do I start?

Well, one thing I’m pretty sure of is that COVID definitely affected production somehow. By that, I don’t just mean the show needing to go on hiatus, resulting in a shorter run compared to previous seasons. I’m also talking about any possible changes that might’ve been made to the original narrative, if there was one.

Much like how Suite’s story had to be altered in the wake of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami disaster, I believe Heal underwent a similar treatment in response to the pandemic becoming more widespread as 2020 went on.

Especially since it dealt with health and nature, HealPre is probably the season that has come the closest in relevancy to real life events.

Frankly, that can be quite scary because this virus was and is still a fucking nightmare on a massive global scale. From that view, I can understand why the writers/producers would be concerned of the anime hitting too near home. At least for their main demographic’s (children) sake, maybe they were compelled to shift to something lighter and less edgier so that the kids could find some comfort and enjoyment in the midst of the world’s current crisis.

So I can’t fault Toei for that, if that’s really the case. Going through a pandemic is terrifying, infuriating and exhausting and UGH. We could use something that can help ease our worries or momentarily distract us even a little bit. 

Though would it have killed them to dedicate one episode to the importance of wearing a mask or washing hands? (-_- ;;)

HOWEVER! Seeing as I am not a fragile child, I’ve still got several (oho~) criticisms to air out before I put this season behind me. This review isn’t particularly scathing but...there is a lot of discontent so you’ve been forewarned.

But first, let’s tediously review what structure means in Precure.

We all know that there are certain things that will forever (?) remain fixed in the series formula.

The plot is always going to be “magical girls fight evil doers threatening to ruin the world”.

There are plot points to indicate story progression but in reality, are put there to correspond with toy releases which are usually marked by these five: introductions, first power up, midseason Cure, second power up, and build-up to the climax + finale.

There is usually a specific message (a theme) to be told with every season and motifs (narrative tools) to aid in getting that across. For HealPre, the theme is “living is fighting” and its motifs are “health” and “nature”.

I left out “animals” b/c 1) it didn’t hold as much significance as the other two did, 2) animals are part of nature anyway and 3) let’s be real, it’s just a synonym for “mascots” which we already get every year. :P

Right. I’m probably forgetting something but for the most part, these are immovable pillars of Precure.

Story, on the other hand, has more variables you can work with.

Story is how you tell the plot, how you convey the message.

Precure, as a tv series, is unarguably carried by its main stars, the Cures. So it only makes sense that a huge percentage of a season’s success owes itself to how much of an impact its characters had on the audience as well as how effective their individual story arcs were as sub-plots tying back to the bigger picture (the message/theme).

Ideally, these arcs would shine the brightest in the filler episodes, where the plot  (“good guys vs. bad guys”) is less of a focus so there is more space for personal development and growth.

Also, not all character arcs have to be directly related to the plot but they ought to be written well in order to support the overarching message (the theme).

Now, has HealPre done that? Has each girl’s story demonstrated a good example of what “living is fighting” means?

...nnnnnnyyeeee... look, even I can’t give a straightforward answer on that because while technically they did, by virtue of Nodoka’s observance in ep 44 recounting it as such, there’s also actually not enough to make it feel substantial from a viewer’s standpoint.

At least, that’s what I thought while watching HealPre.

With the exception of Nodoka’s, there was a lot of saying but not much doing to convincingly back the other girls’ arcs up. The fillers themselves were very weak, loosely composed in relation to the motifs and, if I may be so blunt, downright boring that if Nodoka didn’t phrase those episodes as things that counted towards the theme, I probably would put up more of a fight on disagreeing. so shoot me, I’m soft for her :P

And I know that sounds confusing right now but I will elaborate as I continue.

Before that though, to be utterly fair, some seasons keep their respective themes shrouded in vagueness until they’re given a more concrete form in words around the finale. So it’s not like we can do much except make educated guesses on what they really are. Most of the time, we’re just measuring everything against our perception of a standard in the fog. Or maybe that’s just me?

Nevertheless, you can just tell, y’know? By simply watching and observing the whole show, you can tell if the characterization, the development, and the outcome (essentially the content given) really live up to what the season claims is endgame.

So let’s go through that first then. The characters, starting with our lead Cure...

Nodoka being the only Cure in her team to have an arc deserving of the praise “exceptional” should come as a surprise to no one.

She was the most solid in terms of direction on how her story was going to proceed. Out of all the girls, her journey had the greatest connection to the subject “health”, repeatedly delved into it every time the spotlight was on her and fulfilled everything it seemed to promise from her debut in episode 1.

Her struggles on the road to recovery from a long-term illness and the strength she’s drawn from that traumatizing experience as well as her time as Precure did more than establish her as the strongest character in HealPre.

She has also rose to become one of the most memorable Pink Cures in the entire franchise (personally, I rank her in the top 5).

And it’s not hard to see why she’s earned such high regard in a lot of fans’ hearts.

The writers clearly worked a lot on her character composition to the point where she can pretty much embody the theme of “living is fighting” all on her own.

She came into HealPre fresh out of the hospital and full of earnest desire to make the most of her newfound freedom but she also wasn’t without knowledge on what hardship is. From there, she only got stronger, even when she was stumbling and trying to figure things out along the way. She grew more fortified in her beliefs on what it means to be truly live a healthy life.

She bravely defied the ones who attempted to take advantage of her and twist her cause against her. And she learned that taking care of herself is equally as important as wanting others to be safe from harm.

It was never about winning or coming out on top. It was about protecting a fundamental yet precious truth. That one thing any decent human being should never have to concede: the right to live well.

Honestly, Nodoka is absolutely inspiring all around, as a fictional character, a heroine and a normal everyday person.

Everything about her arc went satisfyingly right like it was meant to and the best thing is, we don’t need to question it because we saw how it all happened with our very own eyes.

I sincerely wished I could say the same for the others but sadly, they were just too flawed.

And Pegitan can throw flippers with me all day if he wants but as undeniable as the above statements are about Chiyu, her arc failed to leap over the increasingly mounting disappointment I had with every episode that’s been assigned solely to her.

Two of which weren’t even about Chiyu. One centered on Pegitan’s admiration for his partner and the other focused on her brother, Touji. Which, while nice to give to supporting/secondary characters, is a fat waste of valuable screentime and not what I’m here for.

It also didn’t help that the conflict of her arc (the indecision over choosing between two dreams) started really late in the game and was resolved so quickly within two episodes. There was no time for me to get invested into it, there was no powerful sense of conviction like how Go!Pri or Hugtto handled theirs and really, it just felt like Chiyu was only following what the script dictated for her rather than genuinely awakening to her own competitive passion towards track and field.

It was almost like it didn’t matter. Almost as if the writers procrastinated in thinking up something worthwhile to further her development...but then settled on grabbing an old idea off the shelf without refining it to suit Chiyu when they ran out of time.

This happened similarly with Minami in Go!Pri and Elena in StarPre, both of whom left me angry at how their arcs were executed. Yet theirs don’t compare to how pissed off I am about Chiyu’s. Because while Minami’s took a while to arrive, it wasn’t done poorly and linked back to Go!Pri’s theme well enough. And while Elena’s was over crammed last minute, at least it was unique to her character and had lots of potential ways to play out if they actually started it earlier on in StarPre.

Chiyu’s arc is like a discount version of the former with hardly any of the intriguing qualities of the latter. Sure, she had two early episodes that laid out the two most important aspects of her life (her family inn and her dedication to her sport) but after that, they weren’t brought up again until we were only weeks away from the ending. Y’know, just to fill up episode slots and meet the minimal requirement of saying they did give Chiyu some issue to resolve. 

It was not engaging at all.

Furthermore, the fact that her arc had very little to no relation with either “health” or “nature” hurt my appreciation of her character somewhat. I just...don’t think her kind of story really matches with the central topics of HealPre?

...but maybe I’m being bitter about this all wrong and that’s screwing up my rational thinking on this matter.

Because Chiyu’s arc is valid under the logic of the overall theme, I would never say it isn’t. And again, character arcs don’t have to be close to the plot nor is it necessary to employ the “suffering builds character” method to make them interesting.

Chiyu always does her best every day. That’s sufficient argument on why her story does fit within the frame of HealPre’s premise.

Guess I’ll just have to wrangle my resistance into acceptance somehow.

...still, her arc could’ve been done so much better than what we were given. Chiyu at least deserved that much.

Next, Hinata.

Since the beginning, I knew she was gonna be runner-up to Nodoka for having the (for lack of better term atm) “best” arc because it was heavily implied that she has ADHD and therefore, immediately checked off the “health” trait. She was even more obvious about it than Nozomi was.

Difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity, impulsiveness. Hinata didn’t just display all those signs, she also showed how hard it was for her to deal with the downsides to them on a regular basis.

She kept apologizing and put herself down excessively for inconveniencing her friends even though they never blamed her for her condition. Got them annoyed a few times, yes, but didn’t stop them from staying friends with her and definitely didn’t make them hate her either.

Everybody was understanding of Hinata...except Hinata because she always took her failures to heart and considered quitting several times to avoid the crushing dejection of making mistakes over and over again.

She got better, though, and no one could have summed it up more heartwarmingly than Nyatoran with the encouraging words he gave her at the conclusion of her arc. 

But it still feels like there’s a huge chunk of development missing between the start and finish. Or rather, it seemed like all of it occurred offscreen and we were only informed later that it did in fact, happen.

To recap, iirc, Hinata had around 5 episodes that focused on her (ep 9, 13, 23, 35 and 40). Ep 18 doesn’t count because that was a Nyatoran-centric filler more than anything.

Ep 9 and 13 did their jobs of introducing and highlighting the details of Hinata’s troubles while also suggesting she will eventually learn to overcome her insecurities. The ones after, though? They pushed those issues to the backseat.

In Ep 23, she had to share the (uneven) spotlight with Asumi. Hinata’s improvements were briefly mentioned but the majority of the ep went to teaching Asumi what “cute” meant and how to get along with puppies. I mean, I get that Asumi recently joined the group and bonding with her was mandatory by tradition. But since each Cure only gets a limited number of eps to herself, it would’ve been more beneficial for Hinata if she didn’t have to split screentime with someone else’s growth schedule.

Ep 35 is slightly better but not by a whole lot. Sure, Natasha was able to reconcile with Elizabeth which was very sweet and heck, it was the goal for that episode. But again, nothing was really done or addressed about Hinata’s main conflict. She tossed it back with the rest of her homework to deal with later. ahaha, a TroPre hint

Then ep 40 came to formally close the curtains on her story and apparently, Hinata screwed up lots of times since...whenever but she picked herself up every time after and kept on trying. Awesome. So WHY didn’t we get to see that? 

I’m not asking for the impossible here. I’m not asking for Hinata to be cured or anything miraculous like that. There is treatment available for ADHD but it is not curable.

Also, forcing Hinata to find a way to get better at studying, the thing she struggles with the most, is not the solution either because that would only make her more stressed and anxious over her own disorder.

What I want is to see how she moved from wailing “I can’t do it! I don’t wanna! I’m so scared of failing so why bother?!” to determinedly declaring “So what if I failed 1 or 100 times? So what if I fail another 1000 times? What matters is that I don’t let that stop me!”

That confidence is not something that can be built up overnight. It’s gradual and it takes numerous tries to reach from where Hinata was to where Hinata is now.

Telling me she grew emotionally stronger can only allow me to believe so much. I need to actually witness the changes as well.

If it weren’t for that, Hinata’s arc would have been a lot more impressive. Shame.

Finally............... Asumi.

Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi... *sighs & drums fingers*

...she has no arc, ok? Seriously, what story is there to speak of, much less write a hefty analysis on?

A spirit born for the sake of Latte who just went along with the Precure ride because Latte didn’t want to abandon her duty. She made friends with those who aren’t Latte, extended her knowledge and understanding and gained valuable human experience during her stay on Earth. But ultimately, she will always define her entire existence around a puppy. 

Nothing is more important than this puppy.

...... to be honest, Asumi not having a storyline isn’t what bothers me. It’s her lack of depth that does.

Hell, even the giant burger she ate had more depth than she did!

Oh, Asumi does have a personality alright. She’s consistently and unfailingly polite, utterly devoted to her raison d’être and in crucial moments, gives pearls of wisdom when the girls are in a pinch. She’s good.

But if that’s all she is, then she’s also painfully dull.

She has nothing to contribute to the discussion of health or nature, despite being created through an element of the Earth so you’d think she’d have an opinion of her own. At least worry about the planet that gave life to her as much as she frets over Latte all the time. But nope.

She shares the exact same face as Teatine’s past Precure partner so you’d think we’d explore that connection to see if it would influence or affect her in any way. But nope.

90% of the time, her role was just being Latte’s constant, fawning satellite.

Not only did that irritate the hell out of me but it just reinforced my stance that this type of character is one of the worst you can ever insert into any narrative.

Because if someone keeps reiterating how much they’re obsessed with this one thing and seldom talks about anything else without bringing their obsession into it... then what’s so special about them on their own?

You’ve practically surrendered the different qualities you could have had for worship of something else. That’s not a fair trade-in.

Asumi’s character is so packed with Latte-related stuff that there’s not much space left for anything that can be considered uniquely Asumi.

I mean, maybe it’s because I can never see myself or any normal person comfortable with living like that.

Living for the sake of being together with the one you love? Okay. But living with your whole universe revolving around that one thing? Making most if not all decisions based on this one thing?

No. That’s absolutely crazy, alright? Nobody with a healthy amount of awareness and self-worth would live like that.

And you can counter that Asumi’s just born like that. That she can’t help her origins because Teatine’s wish to protect her daughter is essentially what brought Asumi into existence so of course, her biggest concern would be Latte. At least, she wasn’t forced into it, right? As long as Asumi chose of her own will to follow Latte, it should be fine, right?

You can even use the fact that Asumi isn’t human. That she’s a spirit and we shouldn’t apply our human standards too strictly to her.

Yea, but those are feeble defenses in the face of her being a good main character, a good main heroine. 

There are many ways to make a decent MC. The way Asumi was written proves she certainly does not possess traits that can classify her as true protagonist material. A protagonist has to be more than one amplified feature, which Asumi is not.

For the record, I don’t hate Asumi (she’s not interesting enough to generate a feeling that intense). I'm just severely let down because even if I don’t end up loving the midseason Cure for whatever reason, I can usually count on them to bring something intriguing to the table to dissect and analyze. At least I should find something to care about them.

Didn’t happen with her. :(

Oh god, I’ve been working on this post for days now and I’ve got a headache and with the baton pass happening in less than a few hours as I type this, I just really need to get it done and over with so please forgive me for speeding up through the rest, I’ll try to keep it as coherent as possible. NYARGH! (@_@ ;;)

Mascots.

Would you be surprised to hear that I’m not surprised that they were actually written very well?

Like I said early on, I suspected the return of fairy partnerships were going to improve the mascots’ significance in the story and, well, I was right. 

This time, they didn’t just fill in the usual expectations of relaying exposition, serving as the Cures’ transformation devices and looking cute for the merchandise. The Healing Animals had to make progress on their own training to become doctors as well.

And they did through their relationships with their human partners.

It was a refreshing take on the mascot aspect of the series because the friendships felt really symbiotic. When the trainees arrived on Earth, they relied on the girls to help them perform their jobs as well as provide them with shelter, food, the occasional peptalk about their trainee status, etc.

Then as the story continued and they got to know each other better, the mascots were able to return the favor by giving support when the Cures needed it. Rabirin when Nodoka was frightened and confused about how to deal with Daruizen, Pegitan when Chiyu was having trouble choosing between two dreams and Nyatoran who made sure to always lift Hinata’s spirits up when she got upset at herself.

In short, they achieved their objectives of learning what it means to be good doctors by being there for their friends! How wonderful! :D

My memory for Latte is hazy, unfortunately, since she’s coddled by everyone all the time (can’t blame them, she’s friggin’ adorable! <3) but I’ll never forget how she stood firm on the battlefield to see things through, to fight for the Earth like she promised her mother. She started out so babie but showed us all there was enormous bravery behind her cute face and ugh, we should all be very proud of her! <3

The only major issues I had about the mascots were these:

1) Too many irrelevant fillers went to them. They only needed a maximum of two for their entire mascot group.

2) Latte kept getting sick even after she acquired a Precure partner of her own. I was hoping it wouldn’t hurt her as much as it did before Asumi arrived or that she would build up a stronger immunity but noooo, they insisted on torturing the poor pupper! T_T

Villains + Finale Battle

Not a lot needs to be said for the first part. We’ve had mediocre antagonists before. HealPre’s just happened to be extra annoying as they were despicable. 

Which is worse because jerks you can just leave in the trash but assholes won’t stop harassing you unless you pummel them into their graves, set fire to their corpses and leave no trace of them behind! >:(

Y’all know who I’m talking about. Opinions on him continue to vary depending on who you talk to and if they’re avid fans of his face or not but whatever. The son of a bitch served his purpose and is dead now. That’s all that matters to me.

Anyway, the King was flat like his two lesser generals. He was neither intimidating nor distinguished enough in the brand of evil to really make us think of him as a serious threat and because of that, it ended up making the boss fight look like any run of the mill boss fight.

I know, they tried so hard with all that shiny animation but it just didn’t have that glorious sense of vindication that previous seasons (or ep 42) gave and I blame it all on this Rumiko Takahashi reject.

Also, this strategy was pretty useless?

They built it up like Earth was gonna sacrifice herself and die or something (she wouldn’t and even if she came close, deus ex machina would’ve kicked in to prevent that and COVID-induced caution too I guess). 

But there were no signs of pain (well, that’s a relief) after absorbing Shindoi-ne and they really pissed King Byogen off more than they did any damage with the absorbed byo-gen power.

...so yea, this tactic was just to kill some time and budget, nothing more. Meh.

By the way, did Asumi eject Shindoi-ne’s pathogen out of her body yet or did they just leave it in there to bounce around until it eventually dissolves on its own?

Because that’s eww. I mean, it’s obviously not gonna hurt Asumi they can both relate on hyperfocusing their affection for someone so maybe the compatibility helps :P but still, ewwwww.

Fillers + Underused Motifs

In hindsight, perhaps HealPre didn’t exactly promise the content we I wanted about “health” and “nature” if their objective was to teach that any manner of “fighting” can count towards “living”.

......but fuck you Toei, you’re still cowards! >:/

Fillers will be fillers but it’s always better to try and make some of them as meaningful as possible. And they wasted the opportunity to inform an impressionable audience (during a very crucial period of our time, I must add) on a lot of things related to the HealPre’s motifs. Especially about the environment which for some ridiculous reason, they chose not to touch on for the main stretch of the overall story.

Proper hygiene, good diet plan and sleeping habits, regular exercise (already done by the girls a few times but could use another example), meditation, counseling/therapy (especially for mental health!), etc.

Real life pollution, climate change/global warming (IMPORTANT!!), deforestation, preservation vs conservation, endangered species, recycling, volunteering to clean up your community, etc.

These just came off the top of my head but yes, there’s more and no, I’m not saying that the writers need to cover all of them in extreme detail or replace the slice-of-life episodes.

But they should be able to mesh both serious and light-hearted together in harmony somehow. Like those fillers where the mascots saw people cleaning up littering at the park or that interaction with that arborist who taught them about wild animals and trees when the group went to visit a lake.

For health, maybe let the girls visit patients with chronic illness in the hospital or have them converse with a medical professional on some matter. Particularly if it’s got something to do with mental illness because stigma in Japan on those who are afflicted with such conditions is still prevalent and has caused a number of sad and shocking tragedies that could have otherwise been avoided if people didn’t have such outdated, judgmental mindsets.

That last part might be too dark for a children’s anime but there’s a lot more out there that is doable.

Do that without reducing it into a footnote, Toei. It is so necessary for your target audience to be aware of these issues at the age they are now. You have an almost 20-year old franchise to serve as a very effective platform. Make better use of it if you truly care about the message you’re conveying through your show!

Also, what the fuck.

The last episode was a mess. Why are you only mentioning this now when the season is already over?

This should’ve been brought up months ago!

All the things we could’ve seen the Cures done to protect the Earth without magic.

The excuse of “I didn’t know humans were so horrible!” is a shit one because everybody knows humans are deplorable trash when it comes to abusing the Earth. All the more reason why you have to persistently drill it into people’s heads that they should not be like those who don’t care or choose not to care.

One crack episode isn’t going to cut that.

God, I so want to unsee this ep just so I don’t have to end HealPre on a more sour note than it already was. *big aggrieved sigh*

Lastly (and this really is the end of my long ranting, I promise), the missing undisclosed lore.

There are few Precure seasons without a past lore of its own in the recent years. Is it a wonder, though?

Lore is mysterious and fascinating. If it involves a past Precure, even more so.

Sometimes fans might just hang onto a show because they’re curious about what happened before the main story. We’d never get the full tale of those adventures but at least, it’s fun to imagine the “prequel”.

Also, past Precure are just badass. Fact.

Strangely enough, we didn’t get that for Heal. All we know is that she was called “Fuu” and was very close to Teatine. 

Hmm. Probably one of those changes caused by COVID interference cuz I can’t imagine the writers choosing not to tell her past in the original draft.

With all that finally off my chest, I’m ready to part ways with you girls until the next All Stars (Nodoka, I’m gonna miss you so much! T_T)

HealPre wasn’t the worst and it was nowhere near the best that it had the potential to be. But it’s passable. At least for those who loved it even with its flaws, I’m genuinely glad it was good for you.

For those who are thinking about picking it up (although why you would read this spoilery post before watching, I have no idea), if you’re looking for a standard magical girl anime to enjoy casually, then this is a safe pick. If you really want to invest your attention and heart into it, though? Then perhaps it would be in your interest to ask someone who saw it already to help you filter out the episodes that are worth watching. You don’t need to worry about the rest, they’re inconsequential. :P

Ok then! Thanks for reading as always, brave souls who have reached this point. 

Stay healthy and safe out there and I’ll see you at the beach next week! Tropic underwater paradise here we coooooommmmmeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDD

[b4imgonee]

recovery.

please read + reblog this, you never know who it might help.

i’m sure recovery is something that many people struggling with eating disorders know about, something that possibly seems out of reach. I have struggled with an ed for years, and this is my story on recovery. + mindset changes.

i’d like to start by saying that i am not actively in recovery that wasn’t forced upon me by anyone except myself - unlike my ed. 

for years struggling with an ed on and off, after multiple failed attempts of restriction, you start to ask yourself the same question each time, “am i ever going to recover?” every time i binged after fasting or restricting, i told myself, “oh if i keep going like this, imma recover lmaooooo ahahahha!!” no. i made the mistake of thinking that my binges every night somehow counted as recovery, even though i haven’t binged for about a year now. every time i ate a normal meal with family, i told myself again, oh this is recovery because i’m not going to throw it up or i because im actually eating it.  

it was only after i realized that i was borderline abusing laxatives because i couldn’t go to the bathroom properly and even riding a bike for 10 minutes got hard for me, that was when it hit me - this isn’t going to get me absolutely anywhere. 

i would wake up everyday, weigh myself praying that the scale would show a smaller number than yesterday, weighing my food and counting every single calorie. (as a lot of people here do.) i realized that i was literally insane.

YOU CAN’T HATE YOURSELF INTO BEING HEALTHY. YOUR BODY IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. - Linda Sun

these words changed my outlook on my health as a whole, i realized that true health isn’t about the number on the scale, but about what i felt like both emotionally and physically because of what i was putting into my body instead of what i WASN’T. i realized that health isn’t a number. the scale deceives us. you could be a kg up the morning after you restricted so hard and hate yourself even more, and not eat at all -  but that 1kg might’ve been water. WATER. you’d now let 1kg of water magically decided your whole day’s meal plan for you, which would be basically nothing.

exercise is something i started taking into account as well. i started doing workouts that made me properly sweat, and that made me feel so relaxed after i finished, i felt like i was drifting in a cloud. i also rewarded myself after every workout i did, whether it was my favorite meal (still keeping it healthy) or it was one of my favorite snacks. 

i eat 3 meals a day now, do a chloe ting video every other day, and either go on a fast walk or a bike ride. I also do 16:8 (fast for 16 hours, eat for 8).

by healthy eating, i in no way shape or form mean plain low calorie food like 1 egg, or a few cucumbers, or something below my calorie deficit. - i mean real healthy food, food that makes your body happy. know that without a balanced diet, first of all, you’ll become constipated, and start abusing laxatives (which then may lead to laxative dependency - you will not be able to shit without them ever again.), number 2, you’ll become malnourished, headaches, weak knees, hair falling out, brittle nails, etc. the moment you realize that no matter how much you restrict, even if you loose the weight, it will all come back the moment you start eating like a human being again. your body is your best friend, why are you poisoning it? 

eat because it fuels your body, your mind, your mood. not because you’ll die if you don’t. don’t make food your enemy, i personally think junk food is unnecessary, but when the food is healthy, it is your best friend. your body naturally needs healthy fats such as avocado and oils to function, as well as healthy carbs. you can have a bag of chips that will make you full for about 20 minutes and your body will scream for nutrients, or you can have a huge salad that will keep you full for hours and your body will thank you. you could have a black coffee that your practically vomiting up because you hate its bitterness, or even skip breakfast because “it’s not important”, OR you could have a bowl of oatmeal with almonds, apples, prunes and cinnamon that would taste sweet and would genuinely fill you up for the whole day, which would not only kick start your metabolism but also keep you full for hours. or an avocado toast on rye bread. once again, healthy fats and fibers. you literally cannot gain weight from eating clean and healthy and exercising. 

love your body, it is the only one you have. do what makes you happy in the moment. not whats going to make you happy in the unseen future. if you eat healthy and exercise, your body will thank you.

my dms are always open if anyone ever needs to talk! take care of yourself. <3 :)

[danwhobrowses]

Why ‘The Karate Kid Part II’ Deserves More Respect

So guess what film I finished watching today? Of course, the Karate Kid franchise is considered iconic mainly for its first entry; Wax on Wax off, Skeleton fights, Sweep the Leg and the Crane Kick all cemented its legacy that allowed Cobra Kai to also be such a success. But imagine my shock when the approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes for Part II is 45% - 21% lower than the Jaden Smith ‘The Karate Kung Fu Kid’ version (and Part III is scored 15%, which is also super harsh but hard to debate outside of the magnificence of Terry Silver). Originally this was just gonna be a general post of how much I enjoyed retreading Part II, but upon seeing that score I had to give it my ‘Deserves More Respect’ posts.

It is an off-chance, but if you haven’t watched this film there will be spoilers within, I encourage you to watch it before reading, and maybe watch it again if you have so it’s fresh in the mind

Let’s start with a controversial point shall we? There are several parts where Part II is actually better than the original. Now I know! There’s a lot about the original which is iconic, but nostalgia does blind you to other shortcomings and while it’s easy to sell the first part because of its mystique, a sequel has the added pressure of rising above and developing on old and new themes set by the predecessor. The Premise In case you decided against refreshing your memory. Karate Kid Part II starts with a recap of Part I, a bit of content that was meant to be Part I’s final scene (in the script, not for filming) and then a timeskip. Ali with an i is gone - brutally dumping Daniel for some Football Player before Senior Prom and after crashing his car, Daniel’s mother is in Fresno for work and Miyagi has received a letter from his home Okinawa in news of his father’s fading health. The stage is set for Daniel and the audience to learn more about the iconic Mr. Miyagi and the life he left behind. Okay, so there is bad in this film Part II deserves respect, but it’s not perfect. It definitely gets messy near the end with Daniel’s antagonist Chozen, he mainly took beats from Johnny Lawrence in physically confronting Daniel when he could with a bunch of no-named goons and he fought pretty similarly to Johnny in catch counters and leg strikes. The opening recap did take a lot of time too, while the ending remained somewhat abrupt having just beaten up Chozen to embrace Kumiko (who had a delayed recovery after being punched once). While not bad, a fair amount of retreaded content felt like downgrades of the original; Chozen and Sato lacked the charisma of Johnny and Kreese, the crane kick was far more impressive than the drum technique and the Tournament setting was grander than the O-Bon festival. But, there are Iconic Moments in this film too Part I may have the Crane Kick and the Skeletons and the Training and Sweep the Leg. But people may forget that Part II had awesome moments too.

Like Daniel chopping through 6 Sheets of Ice! If that isn’t one hell of a power play I don’t know what is. It is a moment genuinely impressive in and outside of the 80s cheese universe of Karate Kid, and it gets referenced in Season 2 of Cobra Kai.

Also referenced in Season 2 is Miyagi vs Kreese. While this is the intended ending for Part I, it certainly acted better at the start of Part II, especially given that is foreshadows the situation Daniel finds himself in at the end of the movie. This moment is equally iconic as it completely encapsulates the character of both senseis - Kreese the confident brute brought to a sniveling mouse when size and power failed him and Miyagi the cool-headed and vastly more intelligent fighter still with the cheeky prankster lightness to him as he honks the scared shitless Kreese on the nose. Perfect.

While I did want to cite the Tea Ceremony as well I think the more iconic moment for Part II had to be Miyagi chopping the log during the storm. The storm itself is a very well-done scene which unmasks several characters in the face of adversity. True tension, worry and stakes are sold as the village are in danger of the cruel whims of nature, an act which is all too real for Sato when the house he’s in collapses on him in the calm before his scheduled deathmatch with Miyagi. Not only is this again some great foreshadowing by the rule of three (Daniel asking if Miyagi can chop a log like Sato is doing with a banner and then Miyagi and Sato meeting and seeing Sato fail to chop a log) it proves a pivotal point where Sato turns from aggrieved antagonist to repenting ally. A great show of power and friendship as Miyagi metaphorically breaks the rift between their friendship that weighs Sato down. Okay, we hear you, but how is it better? I do have to preface that I do still love Part I, I have to because in pointing out where Part II is better I have to pick at Part I’s faults. While the ending is messy Part II definitely has much better pacing, until the skeletons scene Part I doesn’t really pick up because it has to set up, Part II while it does recap doesn’t need to worry about it. Giving Miyagi the main plot was definitely Part II’s strongest suit. Part I profited from Miyagi being the ‘mysterious old teacher’ but learning a lot more about his humanity and history was engrossing and it allowed positive development for Miyagi and Daniel, especially their bond as a surrogate father and son when Daniel personally goes out of his way to support Miyagi on a very personal matter. The main characters maintain their charm as well, still a lovely array of life lessons in Part II more than just finding balance, Miyagi teaches Daniel through words and action on taking time to breathe, to refocus when imbalanced, to forgive rather than to harbour hate, mercy, selflessness and humbleness

“never put passion before principle. Even if win, you lose.” - Mr. Miyagi

The scenes involving Miyagi and his father were some of the most deep and emotive of the series up until Cobra Kai, some still haven’t been topped such as Miyagi’s dad’s first words to his son or when Daniel talked about when his father died.  And say what you will about Chozen, he does have a lot of Johnny vibes but a lot of the character we believed was Johnny due to nostalgia goggles was more fitting of Chozen’s manner. The story did a great job in making sure Chozen was always an asshole, at times Johnny did at least display honour and grace but Chozen was always sore about stuff and quick to claim dishonour even when he was in the wrong. Contrary to Johnny it’s more about his family than it is about a girl, which allowed a lot more freedom in the plot. Whether you felt Elizabeth Shue’s Ali with an i was prettier than Tamlyn Tomita’s Kumiko is up to personal preference, but the messy-haired Kumiko definitely had a slightly improved presence in Part II than Ali did, with actual focus on her own feelings outside of attraction to Daniel, her ambition to become a dancer directly linking to the O-Bon Festival - which in turn related to the Drum technique - as well as the delicately beautiful Tea Ceremony scene and actually contributing to the final fight (granted Ali wouldn’t be allowed to). Also Daniel didn’t try to eat her face which is a general improvement to the romantic subplot, extra applause has to go to Tomita here too because this was legitimately her first role - Shue had her second so that’s impressive too - and both women had good careers going forward. The increased stakes definitely worked in the favour of Part II as well, as sequel culture is forced to do, but by moving to Okinawa (actually filmed in Hawaii) we opened the door to better suit Miyagi’s world while keeping Daniel the fish out of water. I can’t speak too much for appropriation because there is still kinda some ‘white saviour’ undertones but I didn’t feel like Japan was treated negatively in this light, its culture of the O-Bon Festival and the Tea Ceremony was treated with the utmost respect and explained without pandering, the flute music had definitely stepped up its game for the soundtrack as did the imagery. Can also appreciate that Daniel does go for the Crane kick when fighting Chozen but is parried. Added hat tip has to go to costuming too. A lot of costumes would have to have distinct Kamon such as Sato’s twin fish and Miyagi’s bonsai on a lot of their clothing

Between Sato and Miyagi the colours of their clothes often code their emotions towards each other, with Sato usually in grey and Miyagi in white or cream, when Sato and Miyagi prepare for death they are in black and when Sato wants forgiveness he moves to a lighter shade. While Part I also used black and white to differ Johnny and Daniel, Part II put Chozen and Daniel in the more Japanese-themed Red and Blue. While both men wear red, blue and whites at time, Chozen’s clothes almost devolve from the white he debuts in as his darker side comes out before flat out embracing yellow after his chance to prove his honour in the storm is refused (and he’s in white then), while Daniel often moves to Red or red tones even in his blue shirt. Kumiko also moves from white to blue, sometimes even purple, in set up to the final fight to have the primary colours stand out in the colourful crowd of the O-Bon festival, but even in the blue Kumiko had red to pair her connection with Daniel. Also her Yukata at the festival is just stunning, the Great Wave off Kanagawa print is a nice touch.

Anything else we should know? It might not be much else about the film itself I can tell you, but I do appreciate something I’m starting to call ‘The Rocky Connection’ when it comes to Karate Kid. Like Part I’s ‘You’re the Best (Around)’ was shortlisted for Rocky III, Part II’s song ‘Glory of Love’ was shortlisted for Rocky IV’s theme, losing to ‘Hearts on Fire’, Bill Conti also chose to score this film instead of Rocky IV. I like to pair this with Daniel’s Rocky-esque character, he has that same kind of swagger but a lot more naive and childlike. Martin Kove also gets a nod because those bleeding hands were legit, he had an accident on-set and the footage was kept for the final cut. Tamlyn Tomita wasn’t the only film debut for Part II, B.D. Wong of...well, several famous roles including but not limited to Shang in the animated Mulan, Dr. Wu in the Jurassic Park franchise, Hugo Strange in Gotham and many more, also had his debut here in a minor speaking role when he’s handing out flyers for the dance party to Kumiko and Daniel before the Ice Chopping Scene. So, why does it deserve respect A film that adds to a beloved character in a respectful fashion without having really any god awful moments does not deserve a 4.5/10 rating. It may not have as emphatic an ending or as great a villain but it has a captivating plot and a good pace, better stakes and much more emotionally driven and responsive scenes. A lot of effort and dedication went into this film to explore new dimensions of the main characters in a fashion which was enjoyable and at times heartwarming. And characters are given human moments, even Miyagi confesses himself not to be perfect and it keeps each character grounded. Even to this day parts of Part II are remembered fondly rather than the campness that Part III had outside of Terry Silver and his magnificent ponytail, the fondness also continues to reflect in Cobra Kai with homages and fan theories of Daniel going to Okinawa again and even re-encountering Chozen. Not to mention it grossed $113m on a $13m budget and got nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar (losing to Top Gun) Part II was a good and enjoyable film which deserves far more credit than to be rated this low, for that it deserves respect.

[mysticgalaxie]

After Dr. Randolph Bell broke it off with Quovadis, and he assumed that all would be fine, after the dust settled. He couldn't have been more wrong.

Chapter 4

Word count: 1,567

View on wattpad:https://www.wattpad.com/story/251464169?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=MysticGalaxie&wp_originator=zNsC0o3vkOy%2BG9YT7%2BMfwk1HBv30p1EeGuO3%2B1mmcFRmflErd3pE2IXnJDzOBNyI0dQ2vCO4l5rdkUQJ6ZGeJmwwlQsQWwDeZ%2Fpb4k8ixiU6lksWOomEAQFkJMYi%2Fmso

It seemed like forever. The moments had dragged on ever since Conrad had entered that bathroom a few hours ago. Every second seemed to be 5 years, yet every hour seemed to fly by. Nothing was making sense right now. Conrad thought about everything as the cold, bitter rain forced him into an alert state. He shivered yet he payed it no attention - his physical health didn't matter right now, his mental did.

He stayed focused, not even noticing that Kit had stepped outside. However, she stayed under the cover, staying out of the rain. "Conrad!" She called, hoping to get his attention without having to get into the rain herself.

This caused Conrad to break out of his state, and he then turned towards her. She just looked upset, and the more Conrad examined her he could tell she had been crying recently. Randolph is her best friend, in all fairness.

She just sighed. "Come on, get out of the rain.. You'll catch a cold." She spoke, her almost mothering instincts had taken control.

Conrad didn't wish to upset her anymore so he stepped under the overhang with her. "I just... Needed a clear head. The rain helped but i guess i got carried away." Conrad spoke, running his hand through his hair, which was dripping wet. Kit only sighed, sniffling a bit.

"I get it, trust me... I just don't want anything to happen to you, even a minor cold can ruin your day..." She said, voice wavering a bit. Conrad could tell she was only trying to hold it together while he was around.

"Kit. You don't have to try and be strong around me. We are all taking this pretty hard. You don't need to try to protect me, if that's what you're worried about." He spoke honestly.

Kit just looked down, shivering from the cold breeze a bit herself. "I know. It just makes me feel better to help somebody else since i can't really help Randolph or myself... If that even makes any sense at all..." She mumbled.

Conrad just nodded sympathetically. "It does. Come on, lets get inside. Its cold and i need to dry off." Conrad spoke, holding his hand out for her to take. After a quick breather, Kit took his hand and they walked into the hospital again.

As they walked past the cafeteria, Conrad spotted Devon and Aj. He noticed they were talking, but he couldn't really read either of their expressions. He chose to keep walking until he got to the elevator, knowing he needed to dry off before he even attempted doing anything else. Kit only followed, wanting to go up to recovery to check on Randolph.

Meanwhile, in the cafeteria Devon and Aj had gotten a coffee and sat down at a table. Both of the men were silent, sipping on their coffees with occasional sighs. That was, until Aj broke the almost unbearable silence. "So. I know maybe now isn't the best time but we don't have anything else to do, so we should talk. Especially about earlier." Aj spoke, trying to spark up a conversation even if it was a hard one to have.

Devon sipped his coffee as he stared down at the table. "What do you want me to say?" He snappily responded, without even really thinking about it, but instantly he regretted it. "Sorry- sorry." He spoke, correcting himself for being rude. Aj just nodded politely, letting Devon speak his mind.

"I don't know how to feel. I used to not like Randolph, but he changed. He started to come around us more, make logical decisions that i can actually respect- I think we all started to accept him in our little circle, clique or whatever you want to call it. Not only that but I feel like we should have KNOWN. Like- like if we just were a little more observant nothing would have happened. Maybe he wouldn't be on deaths door right now." Devon spoke honestly, pouring everything out.

Aj just nodded, being more than willing to play the role of therapist for the moment. He could tell Devon needed it. After hearing everything Devon had to say, Aj began to speak in response.

"I understand. Randolph and I tend to argue a lot when it comes to the medical field, but lately he's been making changes which only makes this harder. Not only that, but your guilt is clouding over you. It is normal, but not reasonable. There is nothing you could have done differently, we all chose the location cooperatively and we all thought it would be fine. You are not to blame, and neither are we. Gordon page is to blame." Aj spoke, using his words of wisdom.

Devon just seemed to listen to everything, trying to actually take in what he said and meant. Devon just sighed and looked down. "Tell me honestly you don't feel guilty either. Even a bit. Regretful even?" He asked softly, though his tone held a slight edge to it.

Aj just froze for a brief moment. He knew lying to Devon wouldn't get him anywhere and Devon could probably call his bluff. He just crossed his arms a bit before responding. "We all do. In situations of trauma it happens. Everybody does it and i won't lie to you and say I'm not thinking over every detail. I just know that feeling like it's my fault won't get me anywhere." Aj admitted.

Devon looked up at him, and he only nodded. "Yeah, okay." He replied shortly, before they both fell into uncomfortable silence.

-

Conrad, who was now mostly dry, walked back to Nic and Mina. Nic was just staring at her hands as Mina watched the T.v. News was all over what happened at that bar, and Mina had kind of zoned out listening to the reporter. Conrad tried his best to ignore it as he walked over to Nic, sitting on the opposite side of her as Mina.

Kit was also now on the floor, and she went straight towards the rooms. Conrad watched her go before he placed his full attention on Nic. He gently took her hand, kissing it like a prince would a princess.

She wiped any remaining tears away with her free hand as she looked back at Conrad. She obviously wasn't okay but she was trying to be. "Hey... Are you okay?" She asked gently, but Conrad didn't answer her question.

"No. Its not all about me. Nic, talk to me. I want to make sure you're okay. You can't let yourself fall apart in favor of trying to help others." He tried to persuade, Nic only looked up at him for a moment, before connecting their lips. It was much needed.

Conrad kissed her back gently, trying his best to pour all of his built up tension into it. Nic did the same, gently touching Conrad's face as she pulled away with the faintest of smiles. That definitely helped.

She went to speak, before somebody stepped onto the floor. It was Grayson. He looked panicked. His mother was behind him, but she didn't seem nearly as concerned as Grayson was. Conrad stood up, and before he could speak, Grayson did. "Where is he?? What happened??" He spoke quickly.

Conrad walked over to him and hugged him tight, he knew Grayson really cared about Randolph. "Kid... Come here, sit down with me for a minute." Conrad tried to coax him over. Grayson just slowly nodded, following Conrad over to the seats.

Grayson sat down then, and Conrad sat beside him. Nic stood up and went to the bathroom quickly. Mina let her go, but she kept her eyes in the direction of the bathroom.

Conrad took a deep breath, looking at Grayson. Seeing how panicked he was only made this harder. Conrad swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he started to speak.

"Grayson... He was stabbed. He went into surgery a bit ago. They did their best to repair the damage but... He's in critical condition. If he makes it through tonight, he'll be in a bad condition for awhile..." He slowly answered. He wasn't gonna sugarcoat it.

Grayson froze for a minute, as if he physically couldn't process what Conrad had just told him. Conrad knew the feeling so he just stayed quiet for the moment, and let him process it all. Grayson didn't know what to say, so he just managed to ask, "C-Can I see him...?"

Conrad just slowly nodded. He stood up and lead Grayson to Randolph's room. He was still unconscious, hooked to machines. His pulse was steady, and his breathing was even. He seemed... Oddly peaceful. Kit was in the room, tears running down her face.

As Grayson tried to choke down his own soft sobs, he turned to Conrad and hugged him, burying his face into his chest as he started to cry. Conrad just held him through it, knowing this wasn't easy, especially since Grayson began getting close with Randolph in the recent months.

Conrad found his mentality falling, as he watched every one around him struggle. Nobody seemed to be doing okay. It was undeniably hard, and he knew he wasn't alone. He sighed as Kit looked over to him, her tear stained face only hurting Conrad worse. He really hoped Randolph would be okay - for everyone's sake.

[scripttorture]

Sorry for the multiple asks. In Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom's parents were tortured to what I assume is catatonia by the cruciatus curse. Is this a realistic portrayal of the effects of torture, or does it involve some degree of magical handwaving? If realistic, then would you mind suggesting some avenues, both grounded in reality and more fantastical, by which their condition may be helped?

So I had a long answer written out for this and then it got eaten and I’d deleted my backup (both of them) and don’t you just despise technology sometimes? Join me as I scream into the void.

 Once more, from the top-

 No need to apologise for multiple asks. They are in fact encouraged. I’d rather you looked for answers to your questions then assumed you already know the answer. Thank you for coming to me. Thank you for taking an interest. It really does mean a lot to me to see people engaging with the subject. :)

 It’s been a long time since I read Harry Potter. From what I can remember I don’t think the books handled torture survivors well.

 I think this particular portrayal landed smack bang in ‘torture makes victims passive’. It was also pretty explicitly using that misconception about torture survivors being unable to live full, happy lives or make any kind of recovery.

 You could make the argument that these are magical, rather then the effects of torture. But I don’t think Rowling did any work to show that was the case. From what I can remember the stuff that’s actually in the books just suggests the curse causes pain and… that’s it.

 Which doesn’t stop you from trying to make a bad portrayal better.

 @scriptshrink is the mental health professional in the family and may disagree. From what I can remember I don’t think the description of the Longbottoms in the books was exactly catatonia. It seemed more like a combination of catatonia and late stage dementia to me.

 Which creates a bit of a problem for a narrative arc if you want to treat these characters in a more realistic way. Because catatonia is easily treated now with drugs and late stage dementia is… there’s basically no effective treatment. There are things patients can be given to slow the progression of dementia but what they’ve lost is gone. (I’ve spent quite a long time around people with various forms of dementia and I’m going to cite experience as my source there).

 The reason that’s an issue for a narrative is that there really isn’t a middle ground between ‘take this pill to recover’ and ‘there is no treatment at all’. And that’s not on you, it’s on the source material.

 So, suggestion time: I do have a few different ideas depending on what you want from a recovery arc and how you want to characterise Wizard culture in your story.

 Let’s assume that (like catatonia) this fugue state survivors of the curse are in is easily treatable. What happens when you take it away? When survivors are present, not dissociating and remember what happened to them?

 Well suddenly you get confronted with an actual torture survivor with all the loud, messy, complex mental health problems that implies.

 And if you don’t know a lot about mental health? Then it looks like you went from someone who is calm and ‘at peace’ to someone who is incredibly distressed and obviously in pain. It also means you went from someone biddable and ‘easy to handle/care for’ to someone who is exponentially less likely to put up with shit. Someone who demands explanations, cries hysterically, has panic attacks or flashbacks.

 With that sort of big visceral difference- A culture that doesn’t know how to deal with mental illness might well decide survivors are ‘better off’ in that fugue state.

 Because it would probably be easier to take care of a quiet, unemotional drone then to deal with trying to help someone with severe, complex mental health problems.

 With that kind of cultural background the dementia-like state might actually be the result of the treatment survivors are given. Because they’re ‘better off this way’.

 This would give you a much more traditional recovery arc in your story but by its nature demands a narrative discussion of how mentally ill people are treated by society. Which may not be something you want in the story.

 The other main suggestion I had was to treat this fugue state and this unrealistic depiction of memory loss as if it’s part of the curse itself.

 The cruciatus curse is supposed to be designed to cause the maximum amount of pain, so why not factor lasting generational pain into that? Stripping away important, foundational memories with longer use of the curse seems like it could be an additional terror tactic.

 ‘It doesn’t matter if they survive. It doesn’t matter if you rescue them. You’ll never get them back.’

 In that kind of scenario you’d probably end up with a different recovery arc, one that’s as much about magic as mental health. And I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing when you’re explicitly dealing with something magical.

 If you wanted a plot line involving some kind of magical quest this would be a really good fit. I think it would also work well with a more… straight forwardly heroic story? There’d be less of the cultural and moral arguments that are naturally brought up if you’re talking about cultural attitudes to different medical treatments. It would also be a good pick if you want to lean into the intelligence/research skills of some of the canon characters: a combination of cleverness and compassion resulting in a breakthrough that saves the day.

 I’ll finish off with a short general discussion about writing torture survivors realistically and writing them in fantasy.

 I’ve got a post on the common long term symptoms of torture here. And I’ve got a post on what memory problems look like in survivors here.

 We don’t have a way to predict symptoms. Different individual survivors get different sets of symptoms and we’re not sure why. Because of that variation I think that it’s best to treat symptoms as a writing choice.

 Pick symptoms based on what you think adds to the story and creates interesting narrative opportunities. If a symptom emphasises the themes in your story, creates good opportunities to show the readers something about the characters or makes for interesting conflict then it’s a good choice. Conversely if a particular symptom doesn’t appeal to you or you don’t want to write it for any reason, feel free to choose something different.

 I stress realism and writing survivors realistically. I don’t do that because I think fiction ‘must’ be realistic. I do it because the ways we choose to break with reality matter.

 And right now most of the ways we choose to be unrealistic tacitly support/condone torture.

 The majority of the time that’s not the author’s intention. I certainly don’t think it was Rowling’s intention here. (I’ll admit I haven’t been keeping up with her string of controversies but I don’t think active support for torture was ever among them.)

 But these tropes keep getting repeated. Partly because finding accurate information on torture is hard. It’s difficult to search for. It often costs money. A lot of it just isn’t translated (I’m actually saving up to get a bunch of core texts translated into English when the plague is over.) And oh boy do not get me started on the lack of inter-disciplinary communication because I will go off like an unplanned quench of an NMR’s super magnets.

 These are issues that hamper academic researchers to a huge degree. It’s no wonder they impact non-specialists trying to make sense of this mess.

 Having said all of that: I think that we should make space for metaphor and fantastical elements in our fiction.

 The issue is passing off tropes that are unrealistic and harmful as if they’re fact.

 I have significant issues with portraying torture survivors as passive objects. I think it really hampers general understanding of torture and ethical treatment of survivors today. It encourages people to think that real survivors are ‘faking it’ because they don’t look like the passive objects we see portrayed in fiction.

 That said, if a story explicitly states that what it’s doing is magical and unrealistic, it should be less of an issue.

 I do not think that’s what Rowling did in this particular portrayal. I think she presented a curse that the audience was supposed to read as only causing extreme pain and she linked that to the idea of pain turning people into passive objects. You can remove the magic from this scenario and it’s unmistakably torture apologia.

 But I can imagine alternatives where a fantasy story could separate these things out. It would be hard work and require a lot more focus on the curse itself.

 Say you have a fantasy story that takes one of the non-Western approaches to ideas about human souls. Particularly the idea that our memories and experience constitute a separate spiritual part of ourselves.

 Magic that stole and imprisoned that portion of someone would, by the logic of the magic system, create something a little like this catatonia/late-stage-dementia symptom set Rowling presents. And I think if that was presented, divorced from ideas about pain and what suffering ‘should’ do to people- Well it’s no longer really talking about torture. It’s talking about a fantastical scenario.

 We’re not really used to thinking through the implications of where we break with reality. But it does get easier with practice.

 I hope that helps. :)

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[hopeswriting]

FANDOM: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

EVENT: Flufftober 2020 

PROMPT: Breakfast in Bed

AUTHOR: @hopeswriting​

RATING: G

PAIRING: Adult!Verde & Adult!Fon

SUMMARY:

Verde is sick and Fon brings him his breakfast in bed to be nice.

WORDS: 915 (BONUS: 1502)

*

Fon releases a burst of Storm flames through Verde’s room, then two more before he takes a step in. He’s not fool enough to think he disabled every devices set up by Verde though, but it’ll have to do.

He puts the tray on the bedside table, and turns on the lamp.

Verde is hidden under the blanket, doesn’t move, breathes evenly as if sleeping. Fon kicks the bed.

“Don’t make me knock you out to actually get you to sleep. Hand them over.”

Verde plays dead. Fon flares his flames and he bursts out of the blanket, his skin pale, his stubble unkempt, with dark bags under his eyes, and his hair in a total disarray.

He throws his phone at him.

“The others too.”

Verde rummages under the blanket and throws a couple of more phones, gives up two laptops from under the pillows, and a third one from a secret place in the headboard.

“Your watch too.”

Verde glares at him throughout the whole process of throwing his watch at him, aiming for it to go straight through his skull if the force—and the flames—he used is anything to go by.

Fon rolls his eyes.

He fries the devices one by one with his flames, and slips in the bed. He releases one last burst of Storm flames through the mattress and the bed frame to disable the last of hidden devices.

“Be glad I'm leaving you your glasses. And speaking of them, you didn’t even take them off. How much of an idiot do you think I am?”

“A lifetime wouldn’t be enough for me to answer you.”

Fon plays deaf out of the sheer generosity of his heart. He picks up the tray, and holds it still on his lap the time for Verde to settle against the headboard too.

“How do you feel today?”

“Perfectly fine. And I have things to do, so I would like it if you could release me already.”

“You’re sick. Science told us that, or are you going to deny it? Here, try some bread.”

Verde slaps the slice of bread from his hands. “And whose fault is that? Who’s the idiot who infected me?”

“Yes, because you live such a healthy life Verde. I can’t possibly imagine how else you could have gotten sick.”

“I’m the smartest man in the world.” Fon slumps against the headboard and starts munching on the bread. “I could single-handedly bring society into a new age, a society you’re part of, but here I am.”

“Single-handedly? That’s quite rude to all your fellows competent scientists.”

“You’re right, actually. They might even contribute more than me, as I’m certain they’re not being forcefully bed-ridden as we’re talking.”

“Are you going to just keep talking?” Fon holds a spoonful to his mouth. “Here, try some soup then. I don’t want you to go on a coughing fit on me again.”

Verde drinks his soup obediently, and oh, he does plan to keep talking then? God forbid.

“Where’s Reborn when you need him?”

“On a job.”

“Where’s Luce? She can’t possibly agree with this.”

Fon scoffs. “Luce can’t save you now. She said she won’t take a step in the mansion again before we’re all proven to be in perfect health.”

Verde grumbles, and mumbles, and mutters, kicking his feet—kicking Fon’s feet, and on purpose, Fon is sure.

He slumps against him, rests his head on his shoulder, so obviously sick Fon can’t believe they managed to debate on the fact so many times already.

“You’re all incompetent.”

“For the record, Viper proposed to attach you to the bed until you’re healed, and I’m the only one who stood against that. So you might want to show some gratefulness sometimes soon.”

“You’re all incompetent, brainless, primitive, and a total waste of space.”

“You want some yogurt?”

“You’re all so incompetent, brainless, primitive, and a total waste of space, and—”

Fon shoves the spoonful of yogurt into his mouth. Verde spits it out right back on the tray.

Fon musters all the patience he can.

Was it him that also stood against Lal when she proposed to daze him in Rain flames? What an unwise man he was then.

“This is disgusting Verde.”

“That was incredibly rude. I was talking.”

Fon smiles, with teeth. “I’m listening.”

“Well, as I was saying, you’re all so incompetent, brainless, primitive, and a total waste of space, and I hate you all.” He pushes his glasses back up his nose, smirking smugly. “That’s all.”

Fon crushes the spoon in his fist, stabs it in the tray. He grabs his chin.

“You listen to me well. You will play nice with me from now on, or I will stop playing nice with you and make this whole recovery so much worse than you could imagine. You’ll never be afraid of anything more than falling sick ever again, because every time you’ll catch the symptoms I’ll come haunt you in your dreams like the most frightening omen of death.” He leans his forehead against his, and brushes their noses together tenderly. “Rightfully so. Did we understand each other?”

Verde blinks slowly, a sharp focus shining in his green eyes. “Interesting. I feel unreasonably turned on right now.”

Fon raises his eyebrow. “What’s so unreasonable about that?” He headbutts him lightly, and settles against the headboard again so Verde can rest his head back on his shoulder. “Now be reasonable and finish your soup sagely.”

*

BONUS:

I headcanon Fon as a sweetheart at heart who can and will go feral if needed, but let’s go with just Feral!Fon instead.

That’s just who he is at his core, his default state, just completely feral, Take No Shit and Give No Fuck, very indulgent to his every desire, 24/7.

Now of course he learned all about being mannered, and harmless/trustworthy looking, and sweet, and restrained because it is needed for the job sometimes, and he can play the part flawlessly, but even then sometimes he just can’t bother.

Just… No, You Live In A Society And I Intend To Break Every Last One Of Its Rules!Fon, you know?

Fon being an actual Storm à la Gokudera, but so much worse (or so much better I guess, depending on how you see it asdfgh).

And so when he meets with the other Arcobaleno, he kind of just sets the tone for all their future interactions.

------

He meets with the Arcobaleno at the meeting of the Chosen Seven, and his vibes instantly rub Reborn’s, Verde’s, Lal’s and Luce’s the wrong way.

On the other hand Skull and Viper decide to love him, and it’s the birth of such a chaotic trio, Reborn can only be jealous and admiring.

(And he can’t help but side with them whenever it’s time to face consequences, because he just can’t let such a harbinger of chaos being censored.)

------

Reborn takes one look at Fon and immediately feels so deeply offended and challenged. “I can see you’re a little shit who likes to be a pain in the ass with the people you care about, but this is my role and there can be only one of us.”

Fon takes one look at Reborn and goes “We could have been such a wonderful team, but I can see you like to be the only one in control and I don’t like being told what to do, so you will have to go down.”

It’s not even an hour in the mansion on their first day, and Fon tries to rip Reborn’s smirk off of his face, and pluck his smug black eyes, and cut off his sliver tongued all with his bare hands, because “No, sorry, I’m Take No Shit Give No Fuck!Fon, so you’ll just have to be your insufferable self with someone else.”

It’s their first fight of many more to come.

------

Luce has none of their bullshit. She is pregnant, and she can’t believe she even needs to point it out because “Hello, can’t you see this big belly of mine? You will behave or god help you.”

She straight up uses her flames on them to daze them whenever they’re about to lash out on each other too much.

Not in a way where she’s forcing her flames on them or crossing boundaries of course, but just enough they don’t want to risk losing their own limbs if they were to power through her flames.

And when she really can give no fuck either, she just straight up… fakes some kind of help-my-pregnancy-is-going-wrong induced attack.

She just collapses on the ground, wailing, her arms tight around her belly, fake tears rolling on her face, begging like she’s being murdered in the worst of way.

The others are losing their mind other this because “What if one day it’s for real??? And what if we’re too late because we wasted time thinking it wasn’t?????? You can’t keep doing this, we’re begging you to stop.”

And Luce looks them straight in the eye and goes “Well maybe it’s time for you to act like adults who are actually adulting like they should.”

And then they all laugh because “What kind of unrealistic demand is that? Woah, you’re so hilarious Luce, who knew.”

(They just start doing it behind Luce’s back like little kids being naughty and not wanting their parents to catch them.)

------

Skull takes absolutely none of their shits either and it puzzles them all because “Uhmm, excuse you? You’re a civilian?? And we’re literally the Strongest people in the world???”

And he’s like “What, like it’s hard???”

(And it really doesn’t look like it’s hard for him, and it makes them lose their mind like nothing else ever did.)

Now Skull isn’t BAMF in this, and didn’t learn to use his flames in any significant way before meeting them, but he simply has the highest amount of flames and can go on for the longest time.

(And he’s actually very high on the list of the ones whose flames have the most raw power.)

Skull just retreats in what he calls his Cocoon whenever they want to try anything.

He surrounds himself with thick, dense (and powerful) amount of Cloud flames—the others swear they could actually cut like butter—, and chills in the middle of it until they tire themselves trying to push through.

(And then when they grow out of their urge to bully/take advantage of their “weakest” link, and they actual have a healthy relationship with him, he uses his Cocoon to avoid any consequences whenever he messes with them.)

Fon loves trying to break through his Cocoon. Fon is the best at trying to break through his Cocoon. Fon gets worryingly better and better at trying to break through his Cocoon.

Skull asks for proper flames trying from Viper and Lal because hell no, he doesn’t want to find out what will happen once Fon actually breaks through.

------

Verde never regretted his intelligence more than now he has to be around these people because of it.

And it’s actually saying all that needs to be said because he actually never regretted his intelligence even once in his life before.

He takes it upon himself to be the bigger person, and just ignores them and lets them to their devices. He fully expects the favor to be returned.

The favor is not returned.

Mostly because the others always want him to help them with their new childish plan of the day, or playing referee, or tacking side.

But also they’d be simply heartbroken to have to play favorites, and so they simply have to mess with him too.

And even then Verde takes it and bears with it because he’s the Smartest Man in the World, and he has other things of utmost importance to do, thank you very much.

But he’s just a man at the end of the day, and always snap at them eventually.

It’s always the most interesting weeks to live in the mansion when he does.

------

Lal just wants some predictability in this godforsaken house. She wants to have landmarks, a routine to fall back to.

Is that too much to ask? Apparently. Is it going to stop her? It will not.

If the others aren’t willing to cooperate with her, she simply will make them do it anyway. This is a treat.

She falls in a master-and-their-pet type of relationship with them, and the others find it funny because “What, you want to train us? Good luck with that.”

It’s a lot less funny when they go “Hold on, this isn’t right, is it actually working???”

Lal finds it cute they bothered doubting her skills to begin with. One of her jobs is literally to teach people to look death in the eye and tell it to fuck off, but they thought they??? were??? going to be a challenge????

She thinks the fuck not.<3

Her team ups with Luce or Verde (or both) are feared by the others.

------

Viper is there for the sheer chaos of it all. It would be Reborn’s role but he’s too busy competing with Fon, so it’s Viper’s instead.

They’re in it for the blackmail and information gathering too. Nothing like people lashing out when you want them to be their most open selves.<3

But they’re not neutral at all, on the contrary. They’re the wild card.

Some days they want the brand of chaos that will specifically piss off Reborn, so they team up with Fon and Skull.

Some days they want the brand of chaos that will piss off everyone else but them, so they team up with Reborn.

Some days they want a brand of chaos that is organized, so they team up with Lal and Luce.

Some days they don’t want to deal with any kind of chaos at all, so they team up with Verde.

The others treat them cautiously in this regard, and they love it. They love it even more when they dig a knife in their back and abruptly switch sides lol.

They absolutely do favorites too. (Fon/Skull and, surprisingly, Verde.)

------

And you know, I’m a big Polyamory!Arcobaleno shipper but I strongly feel in this one they’re just strongly and intimately platonic.

Just, you know, Arcobaleno as Family. The Arcobaleno bonding together by giving each other the childhood they never had.

And maybe they don’t deserve it, but I love them so much so they need to have this anyway.<3

*

This verse was a lot of fun to flesh out a bit! If it spoke to you too, maybe we can talk together about this? I’d love to!

Thank you for reading! Any and all review are appreciated ^^.

[mortviolette]

Catra The Historian

Based on the characters developed for TV by Noelle Stevenson and owned by DreamWorks

Concept originally by sunnylildragun on tumblr

Written by MortViolette

Prologue

 It has been 6 months sense the defeat of Horde Prime and all Etheria is well on its way to recovery. The Fright Zone now known as New Sorpion is ruled by Scorpia, who along with Perfuma helped the former Horde soldiers and clones settle into a more positive and healthy life. Entrapta had taken Hordak back to Dryl, promising to keep a close eye on him. The two learning from and experimenting with the remaining Horde tech. Glimmer had remained Queen but had appointed Micah as her advisor. Meaning he ran the daily operations whilst she kept the official title. Adora had insisted Catra move into her room immediately after arriving at Bright Moon. Adora still planned to go off into space eventually but she was first and foremost Etheria’s protector and knew she and the best friend squad needed to postpone their plans for at least a year or two. Bow had been busy assisting Glimmer and had not visited his dads in a while. Once things calm down the BFS decide to join Bow in visiting Lance and George at their recently repaired home in the whispering woods.

Chapter 1

As they enter Bow’s parents are quick to greet everyone. Lance holding a tray of snacks with an excited look in his eyes. Catra stands a bit behind Adora. She has gotten used to meeting new people at this point, but its still strange.  Her mismatched eyes wondering around her surroundings. Its more books and artifacts than Catra had ever seen. The Horde was selective with its teaching of history. The bullet points primarily consisting of Hordak rules and princesses suck. Beyond that the former Horde soldiers knew extraordinarily little about Etheria and its vastly complicated backstory. A loud voice startles Catra a bit as her fur stands up. Lance having snapped her out of her thoughts. “And you must be Catra correct?” The man smiles, greeting the visitor. It is definitely Bows dad; she thinks. Attempting to reply. “I see where Bow gets his sunny disposition” She says with a playful level of snark. Both Lance and George Laugh. Lance especially finding it amusing. “Bow wasn’t kidding, you are as sharp as you are cute” He smiles warmly. Catra looking at him then at Bow with a death glare. “Stop telling people I’m cute!” She shouts, her tail shooting straight up as Adora and Glimmer join in on the laughter. She cannot help but smile a little at the sight of Adora laughing a slight blush forming on her cheeks. George cuts in threw the laughter. He has a more serious tone than Lance. A familiar commanding presence to it that Catra finds oddly comforting. Reminding her of old force captains she grew up around. “Well any friend of Bows is a part of this family. Whether they like the attention or not” He gives Catra a wink. Then gestures for everyone to follow as Lance chimes in cheerfully. “Lets all enjoy some snacks! I’m sure you’re all hungry from your trip, plus we have so many new discoveries to tell you about! Oh, and Bow, you must tell us more about what you and Glimmer have been up to lately.” He smirks. Bow blushes looking at him embarrassed. “Lance!” Catra cannot help but giggle seeing him flustered for once. Enjoying the irony.

 After about an hour of conversation on their couches. Catra stands up, stretching a little. She decides to explore the house for awhile while. Only Adora notices, the rest very distracted by their current conversation. Adora stops her, grabbing her hand gently but firmly. “Is everything ok?” She sounded so caring. Catra could never get used to having so many people worry about her. She nods, thinking before speaking. “I just wanna look around. This place seems-I don’t know, neat” She mumbles over her words. Adora smiles wide, that stupid, dorky, lovable smile. Catra hadn’t shown much interest in anything outside of fighting and winning.  When they had become comfortable at Bright Moon the BFS had tried to get Catra some hobbies, interests to keep her mind occupied. Perfuma having said it would help her adjust to her new normal and being bored and sitting around the room 24/7 wasn’t exactly great for her mental health. But nothing seemed to interest her. So Adora cannot help but be encouraging about this sudden interest. “OK, whatever you want babe” Catra sticks out her tongue to dodge the embarrassment her girlfriend is putting her threw. “Ok weirdo” She heads to the second floor for a bit of privacy. Looking at the seemingly endless rows of books. Its almost a bit intimidating. She looks curiously around, grabbing a few books and flipping threw them. She squints her eyes to focus, a habit she picked up from the few times she’s had to read during her time in the Horde. Its difficult but she manages to read a few random chapters and get the gist of it. But she feels a prominent headache forming from the effort. She sighs, starting to put the books back looking a bit frustrated. When she suddenly hears the familiar voice of Lance. “Have an interest in history Catra?” She looks a bit startled, calming her fur as she looks at him. “No, just bored of y- “She stops herself, taking a breath as Perfuma’s words of kindness and speaking your truth repeat in her head. She speaks again more calmly. “Maybe a little. We never learned about it in the Horde.” Lance looks on the verge of tears, causing Catra to look concerned, worried she did something. His tone is devastated. “You never learned history?! What a terrible thing! History is a wonderful world of stories and discovery. We have dedicated our life to it. A life devoid of a knowledge of history is simply something a cannot allow.” Before Catra knows it, several books are being placed in her hand. Nearly causing her to fall over. “Now this is just the basics to get you started, brief history of Etheria volumes one threw ten! But if you ever decide you want to learn more our home is always open to a fellow lover of history!” He smiles warmly at her, a warmth to him that Catra has never seen in a parental figure. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him about her difficulty reading and simply nods and attempts a smile. “Thank you, um you’re really nice” The two of them head back down the stairs. Catra gets a thumbs up from Adora, the rest of them surprised at the pile of books their friend is now carrying.  After awhile they all head home, Adora insisting on carrying the books for Catra. Although she doesn’t mind watching the show of strength. Enjoying the walk home, Catra having refused to be teleported home.

        Chapter 2

It was time for the meeting of the princess alliance, a weekly event that primarily consisted of pleasantries, followed by import information and closing in hours of upbeat conversation and genuine friendship. During the tail end of this particular meeting, Adora finds herself uncharacteristically alone in her chair. Catra had gotten in the habit of either sitting on the arm of her chair or more often than not sitting directly on Adora’s lap. Refusing to be away from her and occasionally chiming in with useful advice or ideas (She had been a Horde general for some time) which were often appreciated when they didn’t involve too high a dose of snark. But today Catra had decided not to attend, claiming she was going to read the books Lance had given her. Ever the supportive girlfriend Adora did not fight her on the idea. Despite knowing she would miss her presence, more worried about the feline being alone then her own feelings. Adora takes her mind of it by chatting with everyone. However, Adora was not the only one to notice the absence. Scorpia who was rarely hesitant to speak up, looked to Adora asking curiously. “Hey Adora, why isn’t Catra with you?” She says in an upbeat but equally concerned voice. Glimmer speaks up “Ya she’s never not attended a meeting. Did something happen?” Adora watches as the whole room turns their attention to her. She speaks confidently but slightly nervous at the attention. “She’s uh, reading” Scorpia looks shocked, mouth agape as she starts to lough a bit. No malice in it, simply finding playful humor in the idea. “Catra? Is reading? She never reads, even when she had to do paperwork for the Horde, she just had me or somebody else do it. Wow times change” She smiles looking pleased at the idea. Entrapta takes the opportunity to speak up, speaking quickly and excitedly as usual. “Come to think of it, I had noticed Catra would never read the blueprints or data I collected. I always assumed she just didn’t care about the way I did my research simply that it yielded results. But maybe there was more going on!” She says excitedly as if Catra is a fun science experiment. Glimmer who had been listening to the two of them intently turns to Adora. Speaking curiously but with a hint of concern. “Well Adora. You’ve known her longer than anybody. Can Catra read?” Adora takes a minute to think, her forehead creasing as she summons every memory of Catra she can. After a few moments she speaks, almost shocked. “Honestly, I can’t remember a time I saw her read. I guess I never thought about it” She rubs her neck, embarrassed that she might not have known an important detail about her childhood friend turned girlfriend. Glimmer speaks up, grabbing Bow, Adora, Scorpia and Entrapta. “OK, then let’s settle this!” Poof, pink sparkles of magic surround them and they are suddenly right outside Adora and Catra’s shared room. Entrapta attempts to rush in but Bow stops her, whispering. “Wait, let Adora check first” Entrapta lets out a restrained sigh as Adora leans the door open ever so slightly, trying so hard not to alert her girlfriend. With one eye Adora can see Melog, sitting at the foot of the bed, then she looks to the bed seeing books strewn about. Then seeing Catra who is sitting cross legged, holding a book right in front of her face and squinting. Annoyed sounds coming from inside. Suddenly, the doors swing open behind Adora, Glimmer striding passed her as she walks to Catra, who has jolted off the bed, fur standing up as she hides behind it hissing. “What the hell Sparkles?!” Glimmer ignores her reaction and speaks firmly. “Catra do you not know how to read?” Catra, who is still looking up from behind the bed grumbles at Glimmer, seeing the others following behind her. “Of course, I can read! How dumb do you think I am?!” Adora looks concerned at Catra, not intending to ambush her like this, but willing to go along with it if they get to the bottom of the issue. “Catra please, its us. Nobody is going to judge you.” Adora says as calmly and comforting as she can. Catra just ducks behind the bed, hissing again.

Entrapta walks over and grabs her from the bed, Catra hissing and struggling a little as she is bound. Meanwhile Glimmer grabs one of the books off the bed and opens it, putting it in Catra’s face. “Then prove it. Read one sentence from this book and we leave you alone.” Catra grumbles, looking grumpy as she says annoyed. “Fine!” She looks at the book squinting her eyes as she leans her head closer. “The Etherian P-princesses have b-been in, in- ugh that’s enough see I can read now let go!” Entrapta turns around adjusting her grip as she pulls down her goggles, examining Catra’s eyes. “Fascinating! It seems that along with heterochromia you seem to suffer from an undiagnosed problem with your vison” Catra yells angrily. “English please!” Glimmer puts down the book, looking at Catra sternly but caringly. “It means you need glasses Catra.” Entrapta lets Catra go but before she can get her bearings Scorpia rushes in grabbing her in a big hug. “Oh, you poor thing! To think you’ve been unable to read all this time and we never knew” Catra has a look of murder on her face but takes a deep breath. Channeling all her self-control as she speaks calmly “Scorpia, would you please put me down?” Scorpia quickly lets her go. “Right! Personal space” Glimmer gestures for everyone except Adora to leave, giving her a warm look before closing the door behind her. Catra sits on the bed, looking at the floor. Adora walks over, sitting down and wrapping an arm around her, gently rubbing her arm. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Catra looks away, then sighs before muttering quietly. “Because I was embarrassed” Adora just smiles, placing her other hand on Catra’s cheek as she lifts her head to face her own. “You don’t need to be embarrassed Catra. We aren’t in the Horde anymore; you don’t have to hide weakness. Its ok to need something.” She softly caresses her cheek, tears starting to form around her mismatched eyes. She speaks in a slightly broken voice, filled with sadness. “I just hid it for so long and eventually I just didn’t think I could tell anyone. I, I was afraid you would be mad at me for keeping it from you” Adora’s heart breaks hearing her say that. The thought of her girlfriend ever thinking she could be mad at her over such a thing tearing at her. Adora wipes some of Catra’s tears away and pulls her close tell their foreheads are touching. She speaks softly but firmly. “Catra I will never be mad at you for needing something. Yes, I’m upset you didn’t tell me. But I’m more worried that you would rather hide this from me then come clean.  You need to tell me things and damnit we are getting you glasses because you clearly want to read those books”, she kisses her forehead, pulling back a bit as she looks at her. Catra takes a second, then speaks up. “I’m sorry I-I wouldn’t keep anything else from you I promise” Adora pulls her into a tight hug, placing her chin on her head, gently rubbing the back of Catra’s head.

 About a week later Catra along with the BFS go to get her glasses. After professionals check her eyes to confirm Entrapta’s impromptu diagnosis, they begin the process of picking them out. Glimmer and Bow seem adamant about having her try on a million different ones, much to Catra’s annoyance. Eventually Catra settees on a round pair, claiming to have chosen them at random because she was sick of looking. It wasn’t because Adora said she looked cute in them. Totally not that.

     Chapter 3

Over the last few weeks Catra has been diving deep into the books gifted to her. It took her awhile to adjust to the glasses and reading at a good pace. But after a day of reading she was off to the races. In just two weeks she had read each copy twice, filling them with countless sticky notes and highlights, even working up the courage to ask to barrow a few books Bow had with him, quickly finishing them as well. Everyday when Adora comes home Catra can hardly resist the urge to talk about what she has read, a brightness in her eyes and excitement in her voice that makes Adora smile wide every time. She is also crazy smart, Adora comes to realize. She knew the love of her life was clever but like wow, Adora barely understands half the things she talks about but what she does understand is extremely complicated. Catra seems especially interested in old wars and rulers, recounting several chapters on old battles won by wit or leaders overthrown threw clever plotting. When Bow happens to mention one night at dinner that his dads have several detailed books and artifacts on wars and even combat styles and weapons. Catra cannot help but light up and let out a cheerful purr at the idea. Catra is reminded by Bow of Lance’s offer for her to visit sometime, knowing they would love the company. Catra is hesitant to leave Adora’s side for long and she knows Adora is far too busy to visit with her for any long stretch of time. She says she will think about it, choosing to table the idea for now.

A few days later during a meditation session with Perfuma, the princess can tell something is bothering the feline. Her body struggling more than usual to relax. She speaks as she always does, extremely calmly and positively, still in her pose. “What’s troubling you Catra?” Catra groans a bit, it can be annoying how Perfuma always seems to see right threw her. “Its nothing” Perfuma lets out a light chuckle. “If it were nothing you would be able to relax instead of thinking about it. Remember Catra, holding in emotions only hurts you. Breath deeply and speak your truth” Catra sighs, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, then exhaling as she speaks calmly. “I’ve been thinking about leaving for a while. Bow’s dads offered to let me visit and well- “She takes another deep breath, then lets it out. “I can’t decide what to do” Perfuma nods, thinking for a moment. “You want to go, to learn about history. But you’re afraid to leave Adora for so long.” Yet again Perfuma saw right into what she was thinking. Catra opening her eyes and looking at Melog who is currently chasing a nearby butterfly. “We haven’t been away for any longer than 24 hours sense the heart.” Perfuma keeps her eyes closed, nodding at Catra. “It’s a big step for the both of you, to be afraid or nervous about change is perfectly normal Catra. But I know you want this, you yourself have gone on about everything you’ve learned with such joy during our meditation” She giggles, opening her eyes to look at Catra, pulling her attention back to Perfuma. “Your friends will still be here when you return, Adora will still be here when you return. You need to go where your heart leads you. If that means leaving Your love Adora briefly, to explore a love of history. You should take that choice to heart and really ask yourself. Will you regret not doing it?” Catra looks to the floor, the closes her eyes and repeats her breathing exercise a few times. After about a minute she speaks calm with a flare of determination in her voice. “Yes” Perfuma smiles. “Yes what?” Catra responds confidently. “Yes, I will regret not doing it. I-I really want to do it.” Catra feels a hand touch her shoulder, opening her eyes to see Perfuma looking down at her, big smile on her face. “Then you need to talk to Adora” They conclude their session, Perfuma always insisting on hugging Catra before she leaves. She waves and hops on Melog, headed out of Plumeria and back to Bright Moon. Back to Adora, a mix of nerves and excitement at the conversation and events about to come.

The other chapters are still pending. Just wanted to see what everybody thought so far. =3 

@sunnylildragun