#it’s interesting to me that most of the music I like the most and that’s the most memorable in terms of nostalgia and all rhag are songs

[heybiji]

In reference to the last ask you posted! Do you mind going over your tips on role-playing as that active-type character and/or digging up the thread of conversation it seems the original asker was referring to? I'm so interested in your experience role-playing for both prep in possibly joining a game someday and also bc it sounds like such good character creation and general writing advice!!!! I tried checking you blog but didnt turn up anything that touched pn it more (No worries if not though!)

Sorry for this late response!

My advice is make characters that create opportunities for story.

Reacting to a story is fun! Reacting to a character is fun! But if you're always reacting then you're creating opportunity for other characters to react, so sometimes you gotta Act to let the other characters and the story React.

To do this, characters should all want something. And not something vague (like "to be happy"), it should be something more tangible, more specific, and everything else can stem from there. It'll guide your character naturally. It's their Motivation.

More under the cut (or skip to the end for more standard advice)

For example, my dnd character Dandelion wanted more than anything to go home. "Going home" meant a lot of things, yeah it means being happy, it means he wants to be with his family, it means he wants to be loved, it means he wants to feel safe, it means he wants to belong somewhere, but the tangible idea is "go home."

Because I knew this is what he wanted most of all it guided all his actions, and his actions for better or for worse all made sense because of it (and I made it clear that was what he wanted "on-screen" on multiple occasions). So anything that involved the idea of getting home would activate him, and he'd also deeply empathize with anyone and anything else away from home/away from family. Giving him one strong, clear motivation instantly made him an active participant in the story. This made him active with other characters too, any mention of home, any mention of family, any idea of not belonging, it drew him toward them.

(as a DM now this is also what I need more than anything, what's your hook? how can I tempt you? how can I make your character move forward? how can I make your character react? also characters that create opportunity for story take a LOT of work off the DM's shoulders in my experience, it shows you're engaged and it feels less like dragging a cat around on a leash haha like "are you enjoying this? do you want this? i don't know! please give me something!")

my more standard advice?

Be a good listener

Be present (in the moment)

Be curious

Be the biggest fan of all the characters

Put your story on-screen frequently, give people the opportunity to react to it and join in on it (this can be as simple as "my character's body language changes at the mention of 'home')

Create opportunities for the other characters to have their story on-screen (ask them questions! if you know what the character's buttons are and it makes sense in the moment, press them! listen to what they're saying, pay attention to what they're doing, and react to it)

Interact with the world! Interact with each other! And make these things mean something to your character!

Your character should make mistakes. Mistakes create opportunity for everyone.

If there's a genre, or theme, play toward them earnestly.

The more you RP, the better you'll get at it! It's a process and that's okay!

my little tip for knowing whether your character is Active vs Reactive: if the story were a musical, do they have an I Want song? do they have multiple moments for songs within the narrative? have they shared a duet with another character? do their songs change, evolve? songs happen for important moments in a musical so if you're not contributing to important moments, it may mean you're reacting more than you're acting. which is fine if you're playing a game solo and are granted access to the narrative by virtue of being the designated main character, but because RPing is collaborative storytelling, everyone should be doing their part!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Raven! I just had a quick question because I was hoping to clear up some confusion for me.

In book 5, when getting ready to audition for the VDC and the actual audition, I interpreted it as us just helping and being moral support for ADeuce. However, with some of the things I’ve seen, we, the MC, might’ve auditioned? Bc I really hope not lol I have no musical talent and would be so embarrassed I know I’m a bad singer I don’t need Vil the Queen telling me

Thanks! Have a good night/day :>

Good question! I went back into the game to check and… well, it’s more complicated than you might think! Let’s go through it all.

So beginning in 5-4, you first learn about the VDC/SDC. Grim expresses his excitement: “I want in on this competition!�� In Japanese, you’ll notice that Grim uses “ore-sama” which is an uppity way to refer to oneself in the singular. Here, Grim is talking about his own intent to join the competition both in English and In Japanese.

Now let’s jump ahead to 5-9. This is the part where Adeuce and Grim are practicing their dance moves on the basketball court. After witnessing how bad they are, the player is granted two dialogue options, one of which makes use of the word “we”. This could imply that Yuu is practicing dancing with Adeuce and Grim. Important to note, however, is that the Japanese version includes no such subjects and could be interpreted as not including Yuu because of this.

Also!! Jamil comments on the dancing abilities of the other boys in both EN and JP, but not on Yuu at all.

In 5-11, Jamil asks if “you” have applied for the audition yet. In JP, Jamil uses the phrase “kimi-tachi”, which is closer to “you all” (ie more than one person). He does not make specific reference to Yuu, nor does he single them out with the “you”.

Then in 5-12, Adeuce, Grim, and Yuu approach Rook to sign up for VDC/SDC auditions. Rook announces their personal details and then tells them "Since you have informed me of your intent, you do not need to fill out any paperwork". In Japanese, the subject "you" is not present, but the implication is that he's referring to at least Ace, Deuce, and Grim as a group. There's not much here to implicate that Yuu is also signing up.

When the actual audition happens in 5-16, Rook announces that Ace, Deuce, Grim and Yuu "may enter". This could imply that Yuu is there for moral support or that they, too, are auditioning.

In 5-18, a little while after the auditions, Yuu has a dialogue choice: “Did we flunk?” The use of “we” here could imply Yuu auditioned, or it could refer to their group of friends + their efforts to cheer them on. It should be noted that JP lacks pronouns in these same options, so it’s unclear whether or not Yuu is referring to themselves and/or the group.

5-20 perhaps gives us the most definitive answer. Grim gets annoyed that he was summoned despite not being accepted into the NRC Tribe. More specifically, he points out that he and Yuu were left out of the conversation. Grim then says “Why’d you call us over when we already flunked out?” Given that every other student present has been accepted, the use of “we” here HAS to refer to Grim and Yuu. In JP, Grim uses the term “ore-sama tachi”, which makes a plural or group of people. So here, both EN and JP are very clear and agree with each other; they seem to suggest Yuu auditioned and failed.

It's very easy to miss this if you aren't paying close attention! (I overlooked it myself, www) I wonder if the writing was intentionally vague or dragged its feet up to part 20 because a lot of details surrounding Yuu are left vague to allow for as much or as little player projection as they like. That way, people who have no interest in it can imagine just sitting out while the people who are interested can imagine performing their heart out. I know that there's some fan art of individual people's Yuusonas auditioning, but the majority of the fandom seems to be satisfied with Yuu fulfilling more of a support/cheerleader or managerial role for book 5.

Interestingly, Yuu failing the auditions here can support a line that Azul says in book 3 when they're negotiating the terms for a deal (in 3-10). He states that Yuu is "not gifted with a beautiful voice [...]" but doesn't remark on their dancing abilities. So... Yuu might have been mediocre at the singing part of the audition?

Ace, Deuce, and even Grim seem to have improved a bit thanks to Jamil's coaching earlier in book 5, but since Jamil did not comment on Yuu... er, maybe Yuu didn't see a little improvement and so didn't get accepted into the tribe? Not sure why Grim wasn't either, especially since Vil was convinced by Rook to go for "unpolished" gems to make himself shine even brighter; maybe cuz he's a lil' cat and would steal all the attention/j)

[ripleylove]

Double The Trouble.

requested by @shes2real saying: take your time!! i’m in no rush 🫶🏽 but how abt the reader & jey getting caught having sex in the locker room by either roman or jimmy?

pairing (s): jey uso x fem reader x jimmy uso.

genre: pure smut with a little bit of plot so MDNI!!!!

summary: after the twins won the tag team belt,you congratulated jey,and jimmy decided to join on the fun.

warnings: smut!!! threesome,making out,oral,fingering and protected p in v. i think its all?

A/N: im feeding yall with smut content lately!! stay tuned for more tjd and rhea content!!! <3

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

As your boyfriend Jey and his twin brother Jimmy won the tag team championship match,you couldn't help but jump on your feet from happiness.

Finally,all the sacrifices they made to obtain the title paid off,and you couldn't wait to celebrate with them.

After their theme music hit again,they ran backstage to meet their friends and,most of all,to meet you.

They both fancied you,but,since you were dating Jey,Jimmy didn't want to betray his brother,and kept his interest for you a secret.

When the twins arrived in the locker room you were waiting in,you jumped in their arms with a smile that almost reached your ears.

"Congrats,guys! I'm so proud of you, can't believe I can finally call you champs!" You hugged each of them tightly,the both of them happily reciprocating the affection.

"Sorry to leave y'all alone,but I gotta meet some friends of mine,you gon' be alright,uce?" Jimmy admitted,carefully laying his newly obtained title belt on the couch in the little locker room.

"We gon' be okay,uce. Feel free to have fun,bro." Jey answered smiling,while patting his twin's muscular shoulder.

Jimmy nodded,and happily left the room,leaving you and your boyfriend alone.

You immediately pecked his lips,wrapping your arms around his sweaty neck.

He didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss,your tongues fighting for dominance.

Jey groaned as you started moving your hips against his crotch, his hands squeezing your love handles to take control.

"You want me to touch you,ma? C'mon,tell me what you want." He teasingly whispered against your neck,kissing and marking your sensitive skin.

You sighed with pleasure,trying to find the words you wanted while thoughts of Jey clouded your mind.

"I need you,please" You desperately begged,and Jey smirked.

"And,where do you want me,mama? Mhm?"

His hands roamed on your breasts,kneading them in his fingers while watching you become red.

"Please,Jey,I need you inside me. Please." You admitted as your aching core was searching for relief and Jey finally gave it to you.

He picked you up in his arms,laying you down on the couch with him on top.

He passionately kissed your flushed lips,while still touching your breasts.

His kisses trailed down to your neck,then to your nipples,where he kissed and sucked.

Your high moans were shameless,not caring about whoever could hear them,only caring about the pleasure your boyfriend was giving you.

As he continued sucking on your buds,you could hear the locker room door open,revealing an awkward and embarrassed Jimmy.

"Oh,uce,we were just waiting for you." Jey said,and both you and Jimmy looked at Jey with a confused look.

"Watchu mean?" Jimmy asked,trying to not get hard at the sight of you naked on the couch.

"You wanna join? I'ma share just fo' you,uce." Jey asked,and Jimmy looked conflicted.

"Does y/n want to do it?" Jimmy asked,his eyes looking over you to search for confirmation or declination.

You eagerly nodded,and Jimmy didn't waste time to come over the both of you and hurriedly kiss you.

His kisses felt like heaven while he planted kisses on your jawline,making chills run down your spine.

Jey removed his belt and completely got free from his baggy jeans and his calvin klein underwear,making his veiny cock stand on his belly.

"You wan' suck it,mama?" He asked knowingly,already aligning his tip to your lips.

You almost instantly started to give cat licks on his tip as sinful sounds came out of his throat.

Jimmy started to kiss on your belly,and his hands were exploring your soft body.

He slowly slid down to your aching core,spreading your other lips with his digits,admiring your honey-like wetness.

"So wet for us,ma? And we haven't even started." Jimmy said with a chuckle,but you couldn't respond since his tongue started lapping on your clit.

You breathlessly moaned,and it sounded like music to the twins' ears.

You felt like you were in paradise: giving head to your boyfriend while his brother was eating you out; a wet dream scenario.

Jimmy was hungrily making out with your pussy,not missing any of your juices,and he slowly slipped in your hole two of his fingers.

The vibrations of your moans on his dick caused Jey to let out a series of beautifully high moans,starting to reach his climax.

"Oh,Jimmy." You moaned,slowly sliding your hands in his fluffy hair,pulling him closer to your pussy.

"Oh,god. I think I'm gonna- I'm gonna-" Your sentence was interrupted by your own sinful sounds,reaching your high on Jimmy's fingers.

You clenched magnificently around Jimmy's fingers,and his dick hardened even more.

Jey also came,loads of cum going down your throat,and you automatically swallowed.

You were already exausted, but you know it didn't end here.

Jimmy pulled out a condom,and you couldn't wait for what was next.

Jimmy gently kissed your red lips, while sliding his long and big dick inside of you.

You screamed for the pleasure,his cock stretching out your velvety walls.

Your pleads only came out as broken sobs,wanting more.

And Jimmy gave it to you.

He fucked you in an animalistic pace, one you never tried before.

And,when Jey started to quickly massage your clit,you saw stars.

Your back arched as you squirted,and your body completely fell limp on the soft cushions of the couch.

"You did so good,baby. We're so proud of you,ma. So so proud of you." Jey caressed you cheeks while Jimmy helped you getting dressed again,mindful of you being sore and tired.

And,after your wild session with the twins,you went home with the both of them,falling asleep from the tiredness in the car on the way home.

taglist: @stellakiddsblog @bibibi-tchx @p-mp @thegalacticnacho091

[olsenmyolsen]

Hi lovely!! To answer your question about what I’d like to see in the future, first of all I just want to say that I am so so deeply glad you’ve started writing and sharing your work with us, I just think you are so so so good at writing and extremely original with each concept you come up with!! I get SO excited every time I see you’ve posted something!! Personally, my favorite fics to read are female reader with either Wanda or Natasha, or with wandanat. Hands down my most favorite fic you’ve written and that I find myself thinking about frequently is, ‘you have me for the night,’ like it is seriously mindblowingly amazing as a concept and the way you executed it!😍

My other favorites you have so kindly created and shared with us to enjoy include ‘ups and downs,’ I just can’t get over how fantastic your writing is and how funny and enthralling this story is. ‘Taste,’ simply had me in a chokehold with how hot it was and all the pining and sexual tension! Your vampire reader stories and ‘inspiration,’ are also some of my personal favorites from you.

I think I personally really like stories that have some pining and build up which you write soooo deliciously well.

I would also eat it up if you ever had any interest in a female reader and Wanda or wandanat fic with reader being a new avenger and a werewolf who discovers that Wanda (or wandanat) is her mate when she joins the team. Maybe Wanda (or wandanat) even doesn’t like reader much or doesn’t trust her when she joins so it’s like an enemies to lovers, lots of pining kind of situation.

To whoever requested this mooooonths ago, I am so so so so sorry it took me this long to complete it. I honestly started and deleted writing it like five different times. I just couldn't find the right plot in my head. But hopefully, you enjoy this <3 And I truly apologize if you're upset with some liberties I took and changed.

After Midnight

master list . maroon master list . dark master list

Yes loosely based on the Chappell Roan song :)

Monster AU (Female Werewolf Reader X Monster Hunters WandaNat)

Summary: For some time now, Wanda has had visions of you. She doesn't know who you are, but when her senses lead her and her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, to a club, they end up learning more about the world than they thought they knew.

Word Count: 2.6K

Content: Crowded Places, Monsters, References to Sex, Teeth, Biting, Lust

You danced in a dress that you wanted forever with red lipstick painted on your lips.

The poppy music swirled around you and through the club, as you drank and made quick friends with girls you knew wouldn't remember your name the next day.

Only the fact that your teeth sunk into their neck.

And the cry of pleasure that followed.

Regardless, with a smile, you danced and drank (as if you could even get drunk) and waited for the woman you had been dreaming of for the last few months.

A woman you knew belonged to you.

A woman who, like you, had been dreaming of someone she felt connected to.

You.

"Wanda, are you sure this is it?" Natasha Romanoff asked of her partner Wanda Maximoff as they arrived outside the club The Full Moon.

To say Natasha was annoyed would be an understatement. Her girlfriend Wanda had been having these dreams of an ethereal animalistic woman for months.

Wanda was open and honest about what she would see. Natasha almost wishes she wasn't.

Almost.

And yes, Natasha knew what she was experiencing was jealousy, but when her girlfriend says she "feels a connection" to this mysterious person, how else was she supposed to feel?

So, as the two of them entered the club, they both had their sights set on finding you. Whoever you were.

The second the pair of Monster Hunters enter the club, the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Your sense going off. Yet, through the bodies of people in the club, you can't locate them as quickly.

Especially in your human form.

With a sigh, you give your empty glass to a hammered girl with big boobs and glasses as you leave the dance floor.

You hope to find the two monster hunters faster this way.

However, across the club, as the rainbow lights bounce off everything around Wanda and Natasha, they also sense something is off. Wanda gives Natasha a quizzical look after they order their drinks.

A purple cocktail for Wanda and a beer for Natasha.

"You sense it?" Wanda asks. Natasha nods as her eyes are already scanning what she can see. "A monster on this side of town? This late into the month? I don't know." Natasha replied to Wanda, who picked up her cocktail seconds after it was delivered.

Wanda also looks around the spacious room. "See anything?" She asks Natasha, who shakes her head. The two of them are experts in their field. They should be able to snuff out who or what is breaking the laws set before them, but they can't.

On top of that, they're off the clock.

Natasha turns back to the bar and takes a sip of her beer. Wanda looks at her girlfriend. "Let's just focus back on finding this mysterious person and figure out why I'm drawn to them."

Once again, that option isn't as thrilling to Natasha, but she follows along. She loves Wanda and knows how much this means to her. "Okay." She says, grabbing Wanda's hand and following her to the dance floor.

You move from your sat postion at a table far too close to a speaker as you watch the way a redhead follows another woman hand in hand into the crowd of drunks on the lit-up floor.

"Gotcha." You whisper spotting the off the clock Monster Hunters silhouetted in black. You smile, knowing you like to have fun with these people regardless, but it is far too late into the night for them to do anything.

After Midnight.

In the middle of a sea of people, Natasha and Wanda slowly start to lose themselves to the indie pop hits of today, but just as Wanda goes to finish off her cocktail, she gasps. Natasha immediately notices and comes to her side. "What is it?"

A vision plays out in Wanda's head—a vision you also see.

You smirk as the vision dissapears in your mind. You finally figured out what these visions mean.

"What is it?" Natasha asks as Wansa looks up and around the place. "She's here." Natasha looks as well but stops when Wanda gestures towards you, making your way through the crowd.

Natasha freezes as she looks over you. You're, of course, gorgeous (something maybe Wanda didn't fully explain), and you're wearing a red dress that hugs your curves beautifully.

Natasha looks from you to Wanda, whose mouth is slightly apart, in awe. "It's you," Wanda says, making you tilt your head with a smirk.

"Aside from my visions... Where do I know her from?" You question yourself before you stand in front of the pretty pair of faces looking at you. "Hi!" You say it with a sultry tone, making Natasha blatantly roll her eyes. Something you find amusing. Something Wanda ignores as she brings her body closer to you. "Hi." She says it with a soft, almost too-quiet tone.

"So you're from my vision." You cut to the chase as you bring your body closer to the brunette. Ignoring the glares from the redhead. "And you're from mine," Wanda replies.

Natasha huffs as she interrupts the eye fucking going on. "Okay. Yes. You have dreams about one another. What does that mean?" Natasha not so subtly moves in between you and the brunette. You look from the girl with the soft expression to the one with raging red hair. "And you are?" You say, biting back a smirk.

Natasha hates your attitude, forcing herself to narrow her eyes. She thinks you're lucky she's using all her strength not to fight you right now. "I'm Natasha Romanoff. I'm this one girlfriend." She says, pointing back to the brunette.

You smile. "Girlfriend?" You ask, questioning the other woman, who nods. "I'm Wanda. Wanda Maximoff." She extends her hand and raises her voice above the club music. You gingerly take her hand and shake it. The action sends a jolt of electricity through the two of you. Making you smile even wider.

"What?" Natasha asks as she sees the look on your face.

"It's just you two don't know why you've been having these visions, do you?" Each person shakes their head at you. "Well... there's no easy way to say this." You look around. Maybe the middle of the dance floor isn't the best place. "Follow me." You say to them, not caring if Natasha wants to follow or not.

You knew Wanda would.

You paid off the bouncer to the VIP area and closed the door to a private room. "Oh, come on." Natasha groans, seeing the bed in the middle of the room. "I didn't know The Full Moon was this kind of place." Wanda quietly held in a laugh as her girlfriend squeezes her hand. Annoyed. "It's not like that, I promise." You say, gesturing between you and Natasha, ignoring the comment about the bed as you move in front of the girlfriends.

It was just there for people to have a good time consensually.

As you look from one face to the other, it clicks for you.

However, just to be sure, you lightly sniff the air in the room, and your senses instantly alert you to the presence of two Monster Hunters.

The ones in front of you. 

You can't help but shake your head and smirk.

Of course.

"You two don't seem to know much about this place." You say to Natasha mainly. She rolls her eyes again. "Look, just tell us the real reason we're here." You put your hands up in a fake surrender and walk over the bed. Sitting down on it before moving back ever so slightly. Your covered breasts and long tan legs perfectly make Wanda want more.

"Wanda is my mate." You come right out and say it, knowing it would throw the two of them for a loop.

Also laughing knowing that they're Monster Hunters. They weren't supposed to be able to mate with said Monsters.

Wanda stares at you wide-eyed as if she can't believe what she just heard. Even if it was the truth and not that far from unbelievable.

She has witches blood in her after all.

Natasha, on the other hand, can't fathom it. She laughs like it's a big prank and steps closer to you. "Mate? Yeah right. Okay. Quit messing around around. Tell us the real reason."

You squint your eyes at Natasha and lie down on the bed. Sighing. "That is the real reason." Natasha opens and closes her mouth before stumbling to say: "Only Monsters can have mates." Natasha looks at you and slowly backs up. Grabbing a stunned Wanda, the two of them move away from the bed. "If it's true, then you're a Monster. That's why we sensed something. It was you!"

You lift your head up slightly. "First correction. Monsters aren't the only ones who can have mates. And secondly, do I look like a monster to you?"

"I th-"

"I was asking Wanda." Natasha closes her mouth and looks at her girlfriend. Her gaze on the person on the bed. You. "I.. I don't think you look like a Monster."

"Wanda!" Natasha says, unable to believe what Wanda was saying. Or trying to say. "I'm a beauty, Nat. What can I say." You smirk before looking at Natasha and winking. 

Even before tonight, she was having trouble coming up with reasons to be here, but now she's really struggling.

Natasha looks from Wanda to you once more. "What are you?"

"Wanda's mate. Now I don't know-"

"What are you really!?" Natasha asks, not wanting to hear any more about you and HER girlfriend. "Tasha." Wanda quietly says as she pulls on Nat's hand.

Wanda understands Natasha's frustrations and anger, but to Wanda, you were attractive, and Wanda did want to know more. Being rude wasn't going to solve anything.

You slowly pull yourself up and off the bed. Standing several feet away from the two. "I'm a Werewolf." You say, a tad quieter than you had been all night.

Something Natasha and Wanda picked up on.

"How do we know you're not lying?" Natasha asks, looking for more answers. "Aren't the visions enough?" You reply, almost annoyed. Natasha shakes her head. "Prove what you are."

You roll your eyes and take steps closer to Wanda and Natasha. Neither woman moving away. They're intrigued. You lift your upper lip up so the Monster Hunters can see a large canine tooth form before going away.

"The closer it gets to a full moon, the harder it becomes to control my human form."

Silence rests between everyone.

"Funny name for a bar then, no?" Wanda breaks the tension with a joke that makes you laugh. A sound Wanda giggles at.

Natasha squeezes Wanda's hand and does her best not to smile as she looks at you. "So now what?"

"Well, you're not taking me in. I'll tell you that." You look from the green shimmer in Wanda's eyes. "We won't," Wanda says without missing a beat.

Natasha sighs. "We weren't going to anyways. It's after hours and... and now the situation's complicated."

Truthfully, Natasha didn't care if she saw you ever again. But the more Wanda hung around you, the harder it was to pull her back.

"You know..." Natasha speaks up. "We came here tonight with one goal in mind. To see who Wanda was sharing visions with. But now that she's supposedly your mate and all that... What happens?" Natasha swallows and looks from Wanda to you and back. "Because I'm not losing Wanda to you. Not tonight." Natasha shakes her head as her eyes sting. But she sniffles and holds back the tears.

The thought of Wanda not being with her is eating away at her.

"You don't have to lose Wanda." You smirked as you brought your body closer and closer to Wanda. Her soft eyes going from her girlfriend to you.

She doesn't want to lose Natasha either.

"You know..." You lift your hand, making Natasha step forward, but she stops when she sees you push some hair from Wanda's face. "Us Monsters or Werewolf's aren't like Seahorses." Wanda tilts her head as she lays your hand on her cheek, bringing your eyes to Natasha. "Mating doesn't end with one person. It's normal and what usually happens, but... it doesn't have to be."

You bring your gaze back to Wanda as she looks from you to Natasha. Both of them understand your words. "You wouldn't lose her, Natasha."

You're honest and surprisingly caring. At least that's what Natasha thinks of you now.

"What are you doing now?" Natasha asks as you lean forward and look at Wanda's skin—especially the beautiful place on her neck.

Wanda can sense what you're thinking. "She wants to bite me." Natasha widens her eyes and goes to push you away, but you quickly grab her arm and twist it.

Your true strength coming through.

"I'm trying to be a good, good girl." You let go of Natasha, making her huff and stand in between you and Wanda. "I'm sorry I just love a little drama."

"We should get going," Natasha speaks to you as her eyes never leave yours. Yet she doesn't move. The second she gives you makes your mouth work faster than your brain. "I'm feeling kinda freaky." You raise a playful eyebrow. "Maybe it's the moonlight. Maybe it's something else. The club lights?" You shrug and step closer to Natasha.

Wanda watches as your eyes travel to Nat's smooth skin.

"I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend, if you don't mind."

Natasha opens her mouth to argue, but Wanda stops her. "She's not talking to you," Wanda says as Nat looks back at you, wearing a widening grin. "M-me?" Natasha asks you.

And since walking into the club, the chip on Natasha's shoulder melts away. Wanda walks up behind her girlfriend, wraps her arms around her, and kisses her cheek. "We could never lose each other."

Yet Natasha still can't process what you're asking.

You nod as she stares at you. "You, Natasha." Wanda brings her lips up to Natasha's ears. "It's okay." You nod as your ears pick up Wanda's words. "And then Wanda."

"And then Wanda-" Natasha gets cut off as you invade her space and take her face in your hands. Your callous fingers move down Natasha's cheek as your aggressive kiss slows into one of passion.

This is what I wanted. This is what I like.

When you pull away, your lips are darker. Natasha stands stunned before bringing her fingers to her lips. Touching where you just were. "Yo-you just kissed me.?" She speaks, making you blush. "We can do more than that." You offer with a laugh.

Wanda, with her eyes dark, can read your mind as your kiss with Natasha opens up the connection between the three of you.

She knows you're not joking about the offer.

"Wanda..." Natasha turned her attention to Wanda as her girlfriend looked over her fondly. Lovingly. Natasha can see Wanda isn't upset by what just happened. Making Natasha's brain scramble for an answer.

A solution to the chaos of tonight.

"It'll be okay." Wanda steps forward and gives a quick peck. She can even taste you on Nat's pretty pink lips.

"B-but now... now what?" Natasha asks as she can't even think. You make your presence known again as you gently bring your hands to Natasha's. "We belong together. We make it real. I want to make this real." Natasha watches you for a moment in silence before your hands leave hers and grab Wanda's hair.

Moving it over her shoulder.

Exposing her neck.

This wasn't right.

And yet. Natasha can't help but move closer. Her mind being made up with each step. Natasha holds Wanda as you open your mouth.

However, it wasn't until the three of you were in the middle of the dance floor once again that you put your canine teeth in the side of her neck.

A scream of pleasure left her, and after midnight, that night, the three of you became more.

dividers by @/benkeibear

[hippolotamus]

okay im very curious about witch!eddie and familiar!buck 👀 pretty please if you don't mind :)

Zesty! I do not mind at all. In fact, for you, the world if you so desire it 💖

also asked by @wikiangela @daffi-990 @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming

official title: the darkest fairytale (named after a line from Gabrielle Aplin's song Salvation)

the premise:

AU contains a mix of magical and non magical beings who coexist peacefully. Parents don’t have to be magical to produce a magical child. No schools like Hogwarts but it is the responsibility of the parents to teach or provide a mentor. 

Witch!Eddie: born to magical parents. Learns most of what he knows from Abuela because his parents are too busy being... well, Them. Marries Shannon when she conceives Christopher. Pretty much canon except magical. 

The Wars are a period of fighting between the magical and non magical. Eddie doesn’t like using his magic after he comes home. 

Christopher: magic but his abilities don’t present when he’s younger. Eddie tries to teach him but it’s not as effective as he thinks it should be at first (he’s wrong of course. It’s more to do with Shannon being gone)

Buck: Born to non-magical parents. Maddie and Buck both have magic but Daniel didn’t. Maddie was forbidden from telling Buck about his magical abilities. He figures out he has them by accident when he gets upset and transforms into a cat one day as a teenager after Maddie announces she's leaving with Doug.

The time period is somewhat ambiguous. It's somehow modern and not, and the story itself has tried to convince me it should lean into the Fantasy genre. We'll see.

A snippet (occurs just before teenage Eddie and Evan meet for the first time):

Evan is- well, he’s a lot of things right now. Scared. Confused. Pissed off. Cornered. Not human. Maddie isn’t around, having moved to Boston six weeks ago, and their parents are worse than ever. If that wasn’t all bad enough, he’s stuck as a goddamn cat.  It’s not the first time, but the whole transitioning phenomenon is still new enough that he hasn’t figured out the trigger – or how to turn back. The first change was about four months ago, right around the time Maddie said she was moving away with… well, with him.  One moment he was himself, a thirteen year old boy, angrily pacing back and forth, repeatedly listening to Welcome to My Life on his Discman. The next, his headphones were in a heap with the CD player and his clothes. The music became overwhelmingly loud and he assumed the volume got bumped when it fell. Until he saw himself in the mirror and realized the reason was because he didn’t have ordinary hearing anymore. Because he had four legs, paws, black fur and a tail.   The dark coloring is helpful for hiding, the way he spends most of his time until he changes back. Staying tucked away is his most useful asset because otherwise all he can do is helplessly meow or hiss. No surprise that apparently not a single soul can understand him. And, at the moment, that’s a big fucking problem.

npt some beloveds who've shown interest (it's been a really long time since I've done anything with this WIP so my apologies if I incorrectly tagged you or did not) @diazsdimples @tizniz @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @bi-buckrights

@slightlyobsessedwitheverything @loveyouanyway @elvensorceress @spotsandsocks

@monsterrae1 @thekristen999 @bidisasterevankinard

[saintofdaggers]

movie recs for Saw fans

Saw is a really unique franchise, for better or for worse, so finding movies with a similar aesthetic, theme or storytelling style is hard unless you're willing to dig into the really cheap ripoffs. well, I've been collecting movies that kind of helped the Saw craving, and here's my totally subjective rec list you can use as a reference point if you want to

The Collector and The Collection by Marcus Dunstan: these were written and directed by the guys who wrote Saw IV and beyond, so you're in good (?) hands here. the visuals and traps are distinctly Saw, and the second movie is giving Saw 3D if that movie drank a bunch of Red Bulls. make of that sentence what you will

Hard by John Huckert: an obscure thriller where a closeted detective has a cat and mouse pursuit with a serial killer targeting young gay men. very grimy, unflinchingly bleak and nihilistic. WARNING: this movie goes to some extremely unpleasant and upsetting places, so watch at your own risk

Pig by Rozz Williams: an art house short film where a guy in a pig mask tortures a young man in a desert. and that's it. this is pretty dreamlike and surreal and doesn't have much narrative substance, but I find it interesting to contemplate and it made me flinch more than a few times

Mindhunters: a bunch of FBI profilers in training get trapped on an empty island with a serial killer. this movie is completely ridiculous, but it gets pretty fun once the hilariously elaborate cartoon deaths start happening

X-Cross: Japanese action horror that's basically Fatal Frame doing Saw. weird editing, nonlinear storytelling, cool women, very ugly color grading. also a leg-cutting murder cult. hell yeah

Se7en by David Fincher: investigation, obsession, a dark urban environment, a serial killer with a weird method. it's considered a classic for a reason

the Broken short film by Nine Inch Nails: this is a music video that feels like a snuff film. it's disgusting, brutal, made me feel gross, and I gave it 5 stars on Letterboxd

Cure by Kiyoshi Kurosawa: think Se7en, but even colder and more mysterious.

Haze by Shinya Tsukamoto: this is one of the most claustrophobic things ever put to film. has some completely unbearable sound effects, but it's Shinya Tsukamoto, so that's kind of a given

Like Minds: an unhinged weird thriller about a psychologist trying to untangle the mystery of a high school boy's murder. very homoerotic, very weirdly structured and not exactly well-written, but the unreliable narrator gives a lot of food for thought

The Vanishing (Spoorloos): a man gets obsessed with finding his girlfriend, who disappeared mysteriously on a trip. this is one of the most chilling movies I've ever seen, with a genuinely terrifying character and an ending that took me days to get over

Cube: a bunch of strangers get mysteriously stuck in a labyrinthine structure full of lethal traps. it really gives Saw II but with a nice little sci-fi twist

Hostel and Hostel Part II: as an Eastern European, I fucking loathe Hostel and think it's very ignorant and xenophobic. however, the comparisons to Saw are pretty much inevitable, so watch it if you want and form your own conclusions (I haven't seen the second one, but I've heard it's quite good if you're into this vibe)

feel free to add your own recs to this post!

[ganondoodle]

I honestly find it impressive how totk managed to fuck up so bad as a sequel. But truth be told, good gameplay aside, botw already was a whole lot of nothing as far as story and lore were concerned. I just feel like amnesiac Link going out into the world to save some voice is not a good premise, even though botw Zelda has an interesting personality. Idk, I guess botw felt like an experiment that was supposed to pay off in totk, but totk being a disappointment makes botw kind of feel like a waste of time as well

yes and no to that (in my opinion .. just gonna add that to be sure)

what hooked me in botw was less the story that was told and more what was implied, bc it seemed to imply so much, there was so much design that felt intentional- like an introduction to a world with subtle hints towards much much more that would be perfect to dive deeply into in an expansion or second part- just like you said

i personally am a sucker for big environments with enviromental storytelling more than direct dialog in your face- it might be a small detail to some but for me the choice of music, or how little and broken there was really spoke to me (in part bc i am very noise sensitive, id gladly spent hours in botws hyrule field, but id want to get out of twilight princesses hyrule field bc it would get unbearable to me after a while)

but mainly .. it was the world, botw made me feel like no other game has before, it felt so real to me, that this is a world with deep history, most of which unknown, so much mystery and things that existed with no explicit explanation (like man do i love botws dragons ...... and i will not forgive what totk did to them lore wise)-- like with the ancient shiekah especially, they were, or seemed, so drenched in lore you can only guess but yet it felt so intentional, or how calamtiy ganon was this strange being like a force of nature and the gerudo having had no king in so long it was basically forgotten it was ever a thing?? so much to speculate and think about, so much you could do with all those things; you probably didnt aim to get this kind of talk from me but when i talk i talk unfortunately, and botw is my second favorite zelda game (grinding my teeth to dust trying to ignore what totk did to its lore)

if you look at just whats told to you, botw isnt that special either (though at least coherent in itself lol) but its the world and design and mystery that got to me, that i care about so much, care that got almost utterly destroyed by totk bc it made me realize that there .. might have been no intention behind anything, it didnt mean anything actually

its a thing that hurts me so much to know, to think about, that totk cannot be separated from botw, they cheapen each other, people think its just botw+extra, when imo its more like .. botw again but worse, or them saying that botw was jsut a tech demo to the grand game that is totk (i couldnt disagree more to that wtf, totk is more of a tech demo for ultrahand tbh)

i cant even decide whats worse to me, the fact that botw isnt gonna get that deep lore dive in a second part that got me so excited like i never was before after the first trailer, that everything i cared about in it isnt gonna have a follow up ever, the knowledge that there might be no intention and no meaning behind anything in their games, that the next games might be like that too, that its inseperable from totk in the worst way, or that they only damage each other, botw functions better on its own than totk does, but together it worsens both

(i basically just said what you said in long form .. sorry- though i do feel more positively about the amnesia thing in botw, theres tragedy and emotional weight in it and helps immensely to let you and link explore the world like for the first time- plus its a drawback to an otherwise pretty overpowered piece of tech/magic- unlike some other things in a certain other game)

[melancholy-marionette]

Lovestarved (otome/josei jam) penultimate week progress

Sooo, it's getting to that part of a game jam where I start to panic cos I realise it's the penultimate week and there's still heaps of stuff to do x3 Thankfully, I have the majority of things working in the previewer at least! I was away from home last Thursday - this Monday, but was back to running tests on the main game as soon as I got home. Everything seems to work as it should when testing the full demo without changing MC's name & selecting she/her pronouns, but I still need to run a full test with a name change & they/them pronouns to make sure I didn't mess something up there x3 I didn't want to go right into that though after finishing my first demo playthrough test, so I started working on some video backgrounds for alternate title screens + some stuff to go in the extras section :3 It took me most of the day, but I finally managed to make a working version of a music player that has unlockable tracks, haha. I know it's not exactly the most exciting feature in the world, but it's something I've wanted to implement in my projects for a looooong time, and just haven't been able to either due to a lack of time to work on it, or lack of knowledge to know how! In all my past projects that feature music players, as a compromise, I've just locked the entire player behind a condition such as reaching a specific ending or completing the whole game. Then, once the player is unlocked, the entire soundtrack can be played regardless of whether or not you've actually encountered all the tracks while playing. It's one of those small things that's always really bothered me, haha. But in Lovetarved, you will be able to access the music player after reaching any ending or the end of the demo + individual tracks will become unlocked as you hear them while progressing through the game :3 The only thing that sucks is that I'm relatively content with the layout of the buttons for the demo, but I know it won't be able to stay like that for the full game because there are more tracks to add xD The demo will feature 18 (possibly 19, depending on whether I decide to include a certain track or not) tracks from the OST I made, but there are at least another 6 tracks that need to be added to the player in the full version >.<

Anyways, I'm gonna shut up because it's probably not particularly interesting to read me rambling about this sorta thing xD and also, there's still so much testing left to do T_T

[seoul-bros]

Muse - an exploration of love

It now seems clear that Face and Muse were recorded in parallel, overlapping and intertwining. It's a situation which creates a thread of connection between the two albums.

It's largely the same production team as FACE with Jimin again participating in writing most of the tracks on the album. He has also turned his hand to producing on Rebirth and Interlude: Showtime.

Track 1: Rebirth

The first track seems connected to and leading on naturally from Set Me Free Part 2. Thinking back to the end of the MV where Jimin's clothes change from black to white, from leather to softer materials and his gaze is at last peaceful and penetrating, it all seeks to communicate release, reemergence and renewal.

Rebirth therefore is the moment beyond, when Jimin determines to embrace life and love again. It could be a declaration of intent to start telling the story of Muse.

Track 2: Interlude: Showtime

Which would make Showtime, the first step to embracing that new found freedom. It's an Interlude sure, but I keep getting a very theatrical image in my head, very bold, very Cabaret (if you're in London, I recommend you see the show).

Track 3: Smeraldo Garden Marching Band (feat. Loco)

We will get to hear Smeraldo Garden Marching Band in less than a week (aggggghhhhhhhh i'm not ready ......but at the same time so so ready). The track description says it "draws inspiration from a marching band, blending hip-hop elements with the big band sound characterized by a large-scale orchestra, creating an upbeat, lively rhythm and dynamic atmosphere." This gives me a stepping up, stepping out kind of feel.

Given the focus on The Beatles and St Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band during Face era and the involvement of Nick Lee in Set Me Free Part 2, I'm expecting more big brass and a full sound which Jimin seems to be drawn to - brass and choirs all the way baby.

I'd also expect to see some choreography here something like On but that might be asking too much.

South Korean rapper Loco is the featured artist. Looking through his back catalogue one of his most successful songs featured RM's long time collaborator Colde. It'll be interesting to see how their voices and styles combine here.

Track 4: Slow Dance (feat. Sofia Carson)

With Slow Dance, the seduction really begins. Arcades are Matt Thomson and Max Lynedoch Graham, a British electronic music production duo who we saw in the studio with Jimin in 2022 along with Gabriel Brandes and Alex Karlsson. Now we know what they were doing there.

Also involved in this one is Like Crazy co-writer BLVSH. Oh yes this bodes very well for this track.

So we're thinking EDM, maybe with a Latin feel. Sofia Carson has a unique voice which I think will pair well with Jimin and she has also been known to sing in Spanish and we know after SoWooZoo that Jimin is not adverse to that.

Track 5: Be Mine

Be Mine is still a bit of a mystery to me, given its placement on the album it would suggest that Jimin has found the objective of his affections and wants to solidify the attraction into something more. Will it be a ballad? The production is giving no clues and I haven't seen any credits yet. However, some eagle eyes on TwiX spotted a Be Mine reference from ID: Chaos.

Track 6: Who

This is the main track and the production team includes Jon Beillon who worked on last year's summer smash Seven so we can expect some focus on elements for commercial success.

There are more echos of ID:Chaos with he colour scheme for Who matching that from the Freedom shoot. It would be nice to think that Who reflects that particular sentiment i.e. this is who I am and knowing this has set me free to live and love as I choose.

Track 7: Closer Than This

We round out with Closer Than This which given its position on the album and the way it was previously released solidifies the message, this is me until we meet again. Our love is strong enough to weather the storm of this enforced separation. It is a message for the fans but also for the BTS members.

Post Date: 21/06/2024

[unknowngirl-kittymartini19]

Honeybee pt. 1, Joel Miller x Beatrice

Heyy guys, this is my first story ever, i’m excited to share it with you and please let me know if you like it, if you think i should change some stuff or if you find some grammatical errors or something, english isn’t my first language but i do try to keep my writing as grammatically accurate as possible. Also i’d like to note that i’ve never seen tlou and this story has nothing to do with that storyline I just stole Joel to be the love interest because Pedro Pascal is hot. <3

part 2:

”Honey, if you don’t wake up right now you’ll miss your flight.”

I heard my mothers voice come quietly from downstairs, i checked the old alarm clock that I found in our attic, it makes a slight buzz noise whenever i pay attention to it, 8:01.

fuck, the flight’s leaving in 2 hours and i’ve done absolutely nothing,

I start to get up and notice how the rain outside is making a tiny puddle onto my floor, right under my slightly open window.

———————

We arrive at the airport just in time,

whoever decided that you should go to airports 3 hours ahead of time can go to hell.

”Beatrice, honey, please call me the second you land and- and when you find your host family at the airport, a- and also when you get to their house, just keep me on the line at all-”

My mother stammers on but I cut her off.

”Mom, it’ll be fine, I’ll text you when i find them, okay?”

I say to her, as i pull her into a hug trying hide the fact that my eyes have begun to tear up.

”I’ll miss you honey, just have fun. I had the most fun when i was an Au Pair in America, you’ll have a great time baby”

My mom says into my hair while hugging me tight, her cashmere blouse smelling of Chanel N.5 and my tears.

————————

”Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying with us from London to Texas, we hope you had a great flight and we wish you a nice trip!”

The pilot announces as the plane wheels hit the ground, I can already feel the Texas heat through the windows and I instantly begin to regret wearing my thickest, sweatiest Levi’s and a huge hoodie from Brandy Melville.

I walk around near the exit area filled with people holding signs and ”Welcome home” banners, I look around until my eyes land on possibly one of the hottest men I’ve ever seen, he has to be way older than me, he’s got salt and pepper hair and a stubble on his chin, his clothes look rustic and I’d bet a 100 bucks that he had just come from a ”Hottest cowboys ever” convention, my eyes land on the sign he’s holding ”Beatrice Anderson”

Oh my god, he’s here to pick me up,

my heartrate begins to rise and my legs feel more and more like jelly as I walk over to him.

”Hi!”

I say while smiling awkwardly.

”Are ya Beatrice?”

He asks in the most charming accent I’ve ever heard, I swear his voice couldn’t get any sweeter.

”Uhh.. yeah, who are you, I mean, I- not to be rude I just thought my host family would pick me up.”

God could I sound more like an idiot.

”Yeah, well they were real busy, I’m Joel, I help ’em around the farm sometimes”

He smiles, and I can almost feel my knees giving out.

We walk over to his truck, it’s red and looks like something you’d see on the side of the road just waiting for a scrap yard worker to pick it up, Im suddenly very aware of my heavy, sweaty clothes and decide to just take off my hoodie, who cares if I just have a white lacey top underneath, it’s like a 100 degrees.

”Just hand me your bags and you can go sit!”

Joel yells from the other side of the truck, where his keys were just hanging on from the drivers side door.

He walks over to me and I swear his eyes went up and down and lingered a bit too long on my top, but whatever, I might just be tired and delusional from being on the plane.

The car ride wasn’t too bad, we didn’t talk much, he just played some of his music, I actually knew one song, I used to listen to it every night back when I was sixteen,

”Sultans Of Swing”. At one point as he went on to change gears, his hand grazed the side of my thigh, i dont think he even noticed but my face was red the rest of the ride.

————————

The car stops in front of a beautiful white farmhouse, I look out the car window and see horses, a field, and a red, old looking barn. I see a woman and a man standing in front of the front door, but oddly, no children. We get out of the truck and Joel hands me my bags

”Jus’ head on up, the Smiths are a real nice couple”

He says to me through a slight smirk and his dark brown eyes stay fixed on mine.

”Uhh yeah, thanks for the ride.”

I say to him while taking my bags from him, our hands touch and he pulls away.

”I hope I’ll see ya around, Honeybee.”

He says in a low voice as he gets back in his truck, I didn’t even have time to process the new nickname when I saw my host family running down the driveway.

”Hey! Oh how was your flight, we’re so sorry that we couldn’t pick you up ourselves, hope Joel wasn’t too mean to you.”

The woman says, laughing after the last sentence.

”I’m Mary and this is my husband Luke!”

The husband, Luke, extends his hand out for me to shake.

”It’s nice to meet you, I’m Beatrice, the trip here was fine and Joel was really nice actually.”

I say through a smile.

They lead me up the beautiful mid ceuntry wooden stairs up to my bedroom, it was a simple bedroom with a white and blue floral wallpaper, a big wooden bed in the middle of the room, a wooden coffee table next to the bed, and a vintage looking dresser in the corner. The evening sun was shining nicely through the open window and the white curtains were flowing lightly as I set my bags down and tried to feel at home.

————————

I learned the next morning at breakfast, that I wasn’t here to be an Au Pair for their children, they lived alone, I was here to take care of their house and farm while they were at work.

”So we’re leaving soon, don’t worry, Joel will help you get started and if you have any questions he’ll be happy to help you”

Mr. Smith says to me.

Oh my god I’m seeing Joel again today,

I try to focus on eating breakfast, I look out the huge dining room window and there he is, wearing old jeans, a dirty white T-shirt and brown cowboy boots, he turns around and faces directly at the window, I turn my head away from the window and pray to god that he didn’t see me staring.

————————————————————————

If you want more parts please let me know because I love writing and wanna make more parts but if no one likes my writing i wontt

[fireflyatlast]

As promised: Rite Here Rite Now Review

Spoiler free above the cut, spoilers WILL be under the cut. (Word count: 1110)

Wow wow wow. In simple terms, RHRN was incredible. The recordings were edited very well, the crowd was great, the vocals were amazing as always, and the long-awaited continuation of the chapters was very satisfying.

As a newer fan (really started listening right when Re-Imperatour was ending) I unfortunately never got the chance to ever see any shows live. However, despite my newer status, I have made Ghost a key part of my interests. (ask any of my lovely irl friends, they've had the misfortune of hearing my rants.) I've watched countless interviews and old rituals in order to make up for lost time, but never have I felt more immersed in any Ghost media than I did when I saw the KIA shows on the big screen. It didn't feel like I was in row G seat 12 of my "local" mall's Regal Cinema, it felt like I was right there in LA.

The opening 5 minutes as Square Hammer plays softly in the background was great. Because there wasn't much going on on the screen, everyone in the theater that I was in was softly humming or singing to themselves quietly (Side note: I was worried that people would be super disruptive as the movie was going on, and I was really happy to not have those worries realized. My theater was respectful for the most part, and the only time anyone sang was during that five-minutes of not much.) It felt very nice to belong amongst such a nice community irl. As an introverted neurodivergent, sometimes I struggle to find places or people welcoming or sharing my interests. So being in a theater full of people who love the same thing as me, as much as me, was such a nice feeling.

The cinematography during the entirety of RHRN was great, with my personal favorite segment being Con Clavi Con Dio. The editing was really nice for the most part, and I love the development Cardi was given throughout the movie. I feel my one gripe with the filming is that while we did get great perspective shots on the ghouls, we didn't get much of their personalities. And yes, I get that technically they are just hired musicians and not the main focus by any means, I think it just would have been nice to see more than just a handful of clips of them interacting with each other or Papa.

All in all, RHRN was a wonderful experience and I strongly suggest any Ghost fan out there gives it a watch.

And now its time for my more story-based review. Spoilers under the cut!!

Again, wow. I was pretty excited to finally get some more of the chapters, I'm a big fan of anything that has "lore" even if it doesn't need it, so I definitely owe the chapters a thanks for really getting me into Ghost.

I was thrilled to find that we finally had a true conformation of Cardi's parents. I had always theorized that while Nihil was Copia's father, Copia had come from an affair with the audience members in the Kiss the Go-Goat music video, and that Imperator was Copia's adoptive mother after Nihil's abandonment of him. It's good to know I was wrong rather than not I guess.

Something I also enjoyed was the constant foreshadowing of Sister's death. It wasn't very subtle, but its definitely something I only connected the dots to at the end. Whenever we saw Sister, we saw pills. Lots and lots of pills. I had originally brushed this off as a background joke, but once Cardi reads her note, I realized that the pills were for her unnamed "condition." I think going into it, all of us knew someone would die, I just personally thought that someone would be Copia, not Sister.

That after-credit scene was amazing too. I loved Cardi's new outfit, and the conformation that yes, there will have to be another papa. Which obviously, yes, of course there has to be a new papa, but now, it just feels so much more real. Speaking of the new papa I WISH WE COULD HAVE SEEN HIM AAH! I get cliffhangers, but he was RIGHT THERE!

I'm excited for the next era and the next papa, the next costume of the ghouls. I have a theory though. I see a lot of people being stressed about the changing of the ghoul costumes with the new era, but I think we have one more cycle with the Impera masks. I've noticed that each mask and costume stays the same for two cycles. Opus to Infestissumam, the only thing that changed was the costumes becoming more remnant of Catholic ministry-wear. From Meliora to Prequelle, the masks stayed mostly the same, now with an added more feminine looking mask and more "suit like" outfits over religious attire. I definitely think we have one more era with the Impera masks, but different costumes. Also speaking of the ghouls one of them talked!! I think it was Mountain, but honestly I have a shit memory and it could have been anyone.

Onto my focus on who Cardi actually is. I am so happy we finally got more of a look into his mind now that he is papa. I feel like his personality when he was Cardinal was very timid and awkward, however I never thought he would stay that way at all. I like that he's way more confident now, to the point that he's questioning the higher authority of the ministry and their ways. I love that this confidence is partly just a mask to keep his fears of death hidden. I think his fears manifesting as an angry, questioning personality gives him a lot more depth than if he just gained confidence through his performances, which obviously happened too, don't get me wrong.

The last thing I want to discuss is the credit song, "The Future is a Foreign Land." First off, loved it. It was great musically, and the uncertainty in the lyrics fit very well with all of our uncertainty about the next cycle. Second off, I can't be the only one who think it sounds very similar to Subvision. I personally love Subvision, and even if its only for that one song, I'm super glad that style was revived for Ghost.

In conclusion, I love the developments made in RHRN, and I am more than excited for whatever is next. I think my brain will have to marinate on what I saw a bit more, maybe then I'll have some actual theories.

[jennilah]

hi there!

please do share your thoughts on canon vs non canon (TO YOU) scenes from saw if you feel like it

this seems like a fun topic to explore 👁

i was thinking about this all day im gonna hella ramble too much

to reiterate and expand on what i kinda said in that post's tags: im genuinely cautious when it comes to the canonicity of deleted scenes and script changes for most things because, well, things dont get included in the final product for a reason sometimes.

trust me i know about deleted scenes. ive had months of work erased from existence because of deleted scenes. and sometimes it really was for the best

and im equally if not more skeptical of things like.. lore coming from outside sources. if its not in the original media, its questionable. film novelizations, game adaptions, spin-off comics, all that stuff is usually written by some third party with little to no input from the real writers. unless it gets some serious seal of approval and that shit actually gets referenced in the next film, then im like "ok im listening." Otherwise, i shrug it all off as maybe-canon side adventures until contradicted

THAT SAID

sometimessss those nuggets of lore or characterization from deleted scenes/iffy canon off-shoot material are sick af so we just kind of adopt it anyway!!! we all do it!!!

ALSO

FUCKIN. The goddamn Saw franchise makes me insane with the different cuts of each film so we basically choose our favorite canon already. so. its a bit loosey goosey here sometimes

ok first of all i KNOW im gonna forget things so imma just kind of list and describe what i can remember off the top of my head. i dont actually have things like the scripts memorized i only know some moments that get passed around between us little freaks like drugs

like this one

i dont care if this doesnt happen on-screen in Saw IV, it happens in my heart

and this little bit of characterization from all 3 goofballs here despite us not really seeing much of it in the film:

Strahm being a butthead just interrupting Perez and Hoffman having a nice little talk because he hates his ass so much

Hoffman being more of the annoying little flirt that i know he is in my heart

Perez being charmed by him, the two of them having a cute little bonding moment as acquaintances for a moment there, and then STRAHM AGAIN being a butthead

i love them. i LOVE THEM

its very important to me that Perez kind of liked Hoffman. it makes his betrayal hurt so much more

this whole moment. i love this. ough. as much as i loved this scene already, in my head i pretend the scene played out like this....

falls onto his ass

angel of death

my fucking goodness

also, i cant list off everything because theres so much its a little depressing, but there's a lot going on in the Saw 3D script that is tragically cool. they really leaned into Hoffman going off the deep end and i enjoyed that. and how grisly his scar was originally supposed to be, and the symbolism with his declining mental state. and his interactions with Lawrence being a little more fleshed out. its just kind of neat. i think the film would have been a bit stronger if they stuck closer to a few of their earlier ideas

edit: OH MY GOD HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT DELETED FILMED SCENES LIKE THE ROCKSTAR MOMENT. THAT HAPPENED OK U CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. and amanda is 100% haunted by what she did to Adam

and as for spin-offs that are absolutely not canon, this description of Hoffman from the video game from Tapp's POV is intriguing.

i love annoying and weird colleague Hoffman but i also really enjoy the idea of shy and weird colleague Hoffman.

also, boring cop Hoffman who wont bend the rules? that is so much more interesting than the hashtag brutality moment.

too bad this game is like. well. yknow. not very good. i dont think thats a controversial statement

but you know what IS good?

Saw the Musical

thats canon to me. no notes

[jesncin]

Hi I love you guys' work. I know I already sent in an ask before, but I'm also a queer Indonesian creator who loves animated stories and musicals. And plans to make her own animated indie musical show on YouTube. Which is queer and based on space. And the main character is plus sized, queer, and has a non binary love interest. I wanted to ask since Indonesia is still really homophobic, how do you deal with being a queer Indonesian creator making queer content while your country is extremely homophobic. Because I often feel scared to do so because of what the government might think. Sorry for randomly asking this btw

Hello there! That sounds like a very ambitious project! Best of luck to you, I'm all for more queer space adventures.

So I'm sure to a lot of queer Indonesians looking at the work I'm doing, they're thinking "how the heck are jesncin doing all that and being so loud about it" haha. At least so far (who knows what the future holds now that my book is out) I've managed to create queer Indonesian art online for years (including smaller published work) and had very little homophobic pushback. Which I know I'm very lucky with- I've lost a lot of peers to bigoted locals and hate campaigns. It's a mix of strategies and contingencies I keep to foster as safe a space as I can.

It's a common practice among queer Indonesian activists to speak predominantly in english, something I already do because of my language barrier. Most locals don't bother interacting with an account speaking in english- weaponizing their language barrier haha. I stuck to western spaces early on, but because I drew a lot of blatantly queer Indonesian art- queer Indonesians (diaspora or otherwise) naturally flocked to my stuff. The audience filters itself. I don't interact with local discourse at all. I also stayed away from visibility events (on twidder like #artIDN or #ArtistsofIndonesia or even #tetapbangga for Malaysians) until I felt comfortable with the community I fostered to join in. It's common especially for queer tags to be monitored by bigots looking for people to pick on. Speaking of which, block and don't interact with them. Don't give into the temptation of replying to bigots because it just gives them more ammo. Their goal is to exhaust you so you lock your account and "can't spread your agenda" or whatever.

I purposefully wanted to publish my stories through an American publisher for a lot of reasons, but it certainly helps that Lunar Boy can be out and proud out there where it can't get to be in Indonesia. I notice queer authors here tend to publish either online or internationally with an independent publisher too. Still- you'd be surprised how much the local queer community is enthusiastically ready to support you. Because of the state of Indonesia as it is, everything is handled more "under the radar" for the sake of safety. My personal biggest fear is starting another moral panic incident- but the many queer Indonesian communities I've been in have their own strict rules and precautions to keep members safe. They're worried about that too, but they want to help you succeed! Once my book released, the Indonesian queer community had my back and even helped me with some author events and exclusive meetups. At least for me, it was instrumental to be connected to the local community.

That's where I am for now. I created Lunar Boy while being closeted the entire time. I've erased my queer publications from my resume when applying to author events locally. There's always some kind of assimilation that happens in the process. I'll always be scared of pushback or sparking another moral panic incident. But that's the risk this kind of representation is, isn't it? I had no one else to look up to. No other queer Indonesian graphic novelist making explicitly queer Indonesian stories. It was an isolating experience making this book. But now that I'm here, the next person who comes along won't be alone. And seeing the people who've connected to Lunar Boy, especially other queer Indonesians from all around the world, makes it so worth it.

[twopoppies]

Would you have a rolling stone subscription or any of your followers please? https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/american-idol-lgbtq-contestants-1235027350/

It doesn't seem to be behind any sort of paywall for me, but I tend tp be cautious when reposting entire articles because blogs have been taken down for it before. Here's most of the worst of it, though. DM me if you want more and can't access it.

Travis wasn’t aware that he couldn’t carry a tune until his audition aired on TV a year later, in January 2006. Seated in the living room of the same halfway-house counselor who had driven him to the audition, he thought to himself, “God, I do suck.” But the realization was too late. His phone was already being blitzed with calls, first check-ins from friends and family members and then requests for interviews with People and Us Weekly. Soon after, Travis says the LGBTQ+ advocacy group GLAAD (which did not respond to a request for comment on this story) telephoned with the offer of taking action against Idol on his behalf. He thought to himself, “What the fuck did I just do?”

The public reaction to Travis’ off-key rendition of Whitney Houston’s 1993 single “Queen of the Night” is perhaps most succinctly summed up by the title of a YouTube video of the tryout: “American Idol Audition Boy or Girl.” Travis wore bell-bottom jeans in a feminine cut and a white tank top to his audition, pulling his wavy blonde hair behind his ears. Simon Cowell, infamously the harshest critic among the show’s original trio of judges, appeared horrified by the sight of Travis, his mouth agape. After Randy Jackson, the panel’s swing vote, kicked things off by asking the contestant to say “something interesting” about himself, Cowell asked, “That’s necessary, is it?” Cowell proceeded to stop Travis in the middle of his performance, which he called “confused.”

Travis has come a long way since Idol. After pivoting to a successful career in gay porn under the name Kirk Cummings, he retired from the adult entertainment industry and now works as a dog groomer, a profession he finds peaceful. But even 19 years later, he finds the footage of his audition tough to watch. As he left the studio in tears, editors added the theme music to The Crying Game, the 1992 film that uses the sight of a trans woman’s body to shock viewers. Today, Travis presents as male and uses masculine pronouns, but at the time of his audition, he had hoped to someday transition. He even had his new name picked out: Kelly. When he was incarcerated, others would try to dissuade him from pursuing a future as a trans person by telling him that it’s a “really hard life,” and Idol seemed to prove them all right. 

“I thought, ‘Wow, if this is how my life’s going to be, then I don’t want any part of it,’” he says. “My experience is not the normal experience of a trans person, but because I had chosen to be on a television show, I saw the worst of it.”

Open cruelty is no longer part of the Idol brand, now that the show is in its second run on ABC after Fox canceled the long-running program in 2015. The series, like much of contemporary reality TV, now trades on positivity, and the annual tradition of airing bad auditions has long been discontinued. But during the height of its popularity in the 2000s, schadenfreude was a major part of the show’s appeal. While launching the careers of instant household names like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, Idol was also the show where tens of millions of viewers watched Cowell tell Season Three contestant Heather Piccinini that she’s “ugly” when she sings and belittle Season Five’s Crystal Parizanski for overtanning; he even pulled Parizanski’s mother into the room to humiliate the contestant further. The show’s June 2002 premiere, in which Cowell advised a young woman to sue her vocal coach, made it clear what Idol would be selling.

That feed-them-to-the-lions approach made Idol the number-one program on TV six years running, the longest stretch at the top in broadcast history — but the show tended to prey on its most vulnerable contestants, perhaps unwittingly. Idol producers were forced to issue an apology after Cowell compared Season Six hopeful Kenneth Briggs, who has facial malformations due to Aarskog Syndrome, to a “bush baby.” Season Five’s Paula Goodspeed took her own life outside judge Paula Abdul’s home in 2008 after Cowell criticized the contestant’s metal braces following a performance of the Creedence Clearwater Revival/Ike and Tina Turner standard “Proud Mary.” Goodspeed was reportedly an obsessive stalker who changed her given name in tribute to Abdul, and the contest judge publicly criticized Idol’s producers for not doing more to protect her, saying she alerted them to Goodspeed’s behavior prior to the audition. (A spokesperson for the show did not comment on Abdul’s accusation at the time.)

Among those most targeted by Idol’s alleged abuses were anyone who was outside of the norm, as defined by the extremely narrow standards of Bush-era popular culture. This often included contestants who were experiencing mental health issues, individuals with disabilities, people of color, and plus-size singers like the late Mandisa Huntley, the Season Five contestant of whom Cowell infamously asked: “Do we have a bigger stage this year?” But Idol enjoyed a particularly contentious relationship with the queer contestants who hoped that the series would offer their big break into an unforgiving industry, many of whom had only started to come to an understanding of their LGBTQ+ identities. In another exchange condemned by GLAAD, Cowell told Travis’ fellow Season Five hopeful Charles Berry, who now is an out gay man, to shave off his beard and “wear a dress,” saying that he would make a “great female impersonator.”

Keith Beukelaer, whom Cowell famously called “the worst singer in the world,” knew immediately after his Season Two audition that it would end up being broadcast. “It’s something that I don’t know if I ever fully recovered from,” he says. “I remember it as if it was yesterday.” A devoted Madonna fan, he performed “Like a Virgin” in a green mock-turtleneck sweater, gyrating his body in sync with the song’s suggestive lyrics. Beukelaer has come to understand himself as having Asperger’s Syndrome, although he didn’t have the language for it at the time, and he came out as gay a few years after appearing on the program. He still struggles with the notoriety that his brief appearance on Idol brought, the decades of mockery that followed six minutes of air time.

Cowell did not return multiple requests for comment for this story. Neither did Jackson, longtime host Ryan Seacrest, or Idol creator Simon Fuller — who based the show off his own U.K. series Pop Idol, which aired from 2001 to 2003. But a source close to the production, who requested not to be named in this story, defended the show by affirming that “every single person who came on Idol, whatever their race, color, creed, or sexual preferences, was placed squarely in the firing line for Simon’s barbed critiques.”

[...]

What was a queer paradise for some, however, was a nightmare for others. Of those who spoke on the record, many say that Idol effectively forced them into the closet, and they believe it’s because the show was fearful that an openly queer contestant would alienate the show’s largely conservative viewership.

[...]

There was no rule saying that queer contestants couldn’t discuss their personal lives, but some singers say that Idol made it clear that some things were best kept secret. R.J. Helton, who uses they/them pronouns, went back into the closet and started dating a woman before they auditioned for Idol’s first season, hoping to make their family happy. Helton’s parents always envisioned that they would become a pastor or a Christian music artist, and when Helton’s boy band, the Soul Focus, went their separate ways, competing on Idol felt like a logical next step. Having recently broken things off with their fiancée, not wanting to live a lie, Helton began seeing their Idol stand-in during the season. Although they kept the romance a secret from producers, Helton says the other contestants knew. “None of them cared,” they say. “It was the first time that I felt accepted by a group of people.”

Idol producers never found out about the relationship, but the stakes were nonetheless made clear when executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, the show’s most influential creative voice, pulled Helton aside after seeing them exchange a friendly peck on the cheek with a male member of the crew. “Listen, we love you,” Helton says the producer told them. “We think you’re great, but let’s continue on the sweet side, with the Christian boy thing.” In their on-camera interviews and stage performances, Helton says they tried to tone down their natural ebullience, “butching it up” and staying as quiet as possible. A team of publicists, they recall, followed Helton everywhere “because they didn’t want me to break character.” 

In an email to Rolling Stone, Lythgoe asserts that he “never stopped any contestant from coming out” and says he “never would have done so.” “I did work with a number of individuals who, sadly, were struggling with issues around coming out, and I provided feedback that was very common at the time: that they should let their talent do the talking and not allow others to denigrate them based on their personal lives,” he says. “If anyone was hurt by my advice on those issues, I can only apologize, but I only ever wanted to help and support the wonderful young people who competed on the first seasons of Idol, several of whom, tragically, were torn between a desire to live their truth openly and a great fear about how they would be treated on returning home by their families, by their communities, and even by God.”

Helton, now with the clarity of hindsight, wishes they’d had the confidence to present their full self to America. After being dropped from their record label following a 2006 interview in which they came out as gay, Helton recently came to the realization of their nonbinary identity. “I know it was a different generation, but there are parts of me that think: ‘If I could have worn a gorgeous evening gown with a full beard, I could have won,’” Helton says. When producers would tap them on the shoulder to remind them, “Hey, we don’t talk about this,” it made Helton scared of losing the only affirmation they’d ever had. “As a young person, that really plays with your psyche, especially when you’re not used to the spotlight, loads of fans, or the money. You just do what you’re told. I don’t know if that’s selling your soul to the devil, but it did feel like that. They lifted me up, put me on a pedestal, and told me that the pedestal will only be there as long as I play this part.”

Helton’s fellow Season One cast member Jim Verraros has spent years in therapy working to unlearn many of the unfortunate lessons he says Idol taught him, namely that it wasn’t OK to be himself. That education began with the Pygmalion-esque makeover given to the show’s aspiring superstars: Idol immediately traded in his nerdy aesthetic — wiry glasses and jean jackets with the collar popped — for a generic rock look, sleeveless vests with leather cuff bracelets. He got contacts, lowered his voice half an octave, and put away what he calls the “theatrical and stage part of me that comes also from having deaf parents and being expressive.” “It comes at a cost,” he says. “When you’re told that you aren’t enough — or that this version of you doesn’t work — you spend a big part of your life taking parts away from you so that you can achieve those dreams.”

Although Verraros made the Top 10 of his season, he struggled with the role created for him, and the miscasting of a nebbishy gay Midwestern boy as a conservative-friendly heartthrob led to friction with the show’s creative team. Former co-host Brian Dunkleman, who emceed Idol’s first season alongside Ryan Seacrest, says he overheard Cowell and Randy Jackson discussing plans to directly target Verraros, hoping to get a strong reaction out of him that they could film. “We’re gonna nail Jim,” he recalls the judges saying as they were having coffee in an Idol break room. Cowell tended to reserve his harshest critiques of the show’s inaugural cast for Verraros, and following that discussion, he told the contestant live on air, “I think if you win this competition, we would have failed.”

Idol did get the emotional reaction it sought from Verraros in a scene that ultimately landed on the cutting-room floor. Prior to the announcement of the season’s Top 10 finalists, Dunkleman says that Cowell informed the contestants they would be using the “judges’ veto” to oust one of them from the show. “Jim, you’re out of the competition,” Cowell told Verraros, prompting the young singer to burst into tears. (That’s when Dunkleman recalls that Lythgoe came over and instructed everyone to sing a modified version of the Monkees’ “Daydream Believer” to brighten Verraros’ spirits. “Cheer up, sleepy Jim,” fellow contestants sang together in unison.) For reasons that are unclear, Lythgoe opted to backtrack on the judges’ decision, Dunkleman says, allowing Verraros to move forward to the next round after all. “Later that night, I was at dinner and I got a pretty frantic message from Nigel saying, ‘Look, there’s been a change. Jim is back in the competition. Just please don’t tell anybody about anything that happened today,’” Dunkleman remembers. “And then the next night he made the Top 10.”

Those incidents, Dunkleman adds, played a major role in his decision to part ways with Idol, calling the program “evil.” He also recalls that a judging panel needed to be refilmed so Cowell could call Helton a “loser” instead of a “monkey.” “That’s what it was,” he says of Idol. “It was about how mean they were. It was about how shocking this was and how much they were making fun of these singers.” He isn’t sure, though, why the show singled Helton and Verraros out in particular. “Is it conscious targeting or is it subconscious? That kind of undertone, maybe they weren’t even aware of it.”

[...]

AMERICAN IDOL often strained to fit queer contestants into an instantly recognizable mold that producers could market for the widest possible audience. Simon Cowell declared that he would quit the program if Sanjaya Malakar, an affable Season Six hopeful with a perpetual smile, won the competition. Malakar, who is half Bengali and performed with the Hawaii Children’s Theater during his time living in Kauai, was unlike any singer the show had ever seen. He was earnest and goofy, striding up to the judges’ table to dance with Paula Abdul during a performance of Irving Berlin’s “Cheek to Cheek.” He also straddled the lines of gender, flat-ironing his chameleonic locks for a winsome cover of John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World To Change.” After weeks of all but begging viewers to vote Malakar off the show, Cowell commented regarding the latter song: “Maybe it’s your hair that’s keeping you in. I don’t know.”

Malakar came out as bisexual many years after Idol was over, finding himself after taking a job at a karaoke bar in New York where he found freedom in anonymity. What was hardest for Malakar to navigate, he says, was not the constant scrutiny from Idol’s judges but the vitriolic reaction from fans. A MySpace blogger vowed to stop eating until Malakar was sent home, although the contestant outlasted the hunger strike, which ceased after 16 days. The website Vote for the Worst, which urged fans to subvert the Idol system by keeping on its quirkiest and most divisive contestants, took up Malakar as a personal cause.

Looking back, Malakar believes that it’s the ambiguity of how he presented that bothered people so much. The judges and viewers just couldn’t figure him out because, as a 17-year-old kid who hadn’t graduated high school yet, he hadn’t figured himself out. “There was no way to really understand how to define me,” he says. “They didn’t know what culture I was. They didn’t know what sexuality I was. They didn’t know what genre I was. I was this anomaly that made people uncomfortable.”

The queer singers who had the most painful time being reshaped by the Idol system were those who stood out the most, whether they were flamboyant and over-the-top in their performance style, like Malakar, or their gender presentation skewed toward the effeminate. Season Eight runner-up Adam Lambert — who declined to speak for this story, citing his shooting schedule for The Voice Australia, on which he is a judge — has said that queer contestants who didn’t have the ability to hide were used by Idol as “comic relief.” “Anytime someone came on the show that was perceived to be gay or it was obvious enough that they were gay, they were a joke,” he remarked to the British music magazine NME in a 2018 interview. He added: “To be fair, some of them weren’t great singers, but there were a couple of really good singers that came on. And they weren’t taken seriously.”

To illustrate his point, Lambert noted the example of Adore Delano from Seasons Six and Seven, who would later contend on the reality competition show RuPaul’s Drag Race. Delano declined to participate in this story, but in a 2023 Instagram video publicly announcing her transition, she said that she went back into the closet to compete on Idol. Appearing on the show led her to suppress her transness in order to present herself as “something that was so uncomfortable,” she recalled. And yet her effervescent femininity couldn’t be contained: During her second appearance on Idol, she performed a sassy rendition of “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley that Cowell deemed “hideous” and “verging on the grotesque.” Delano was ultimately eliminated from the Top 16 after a performance of Soft Cell’s queer anthem “Tainted Love” that Cowell declared “absolutely useless.” She dyed her silky hair purple for the number.

Like Delano, Atlas Marshall auditioned for Idol twice, making it to the Top 36 in Season Eight and then trying out again for Season 16. Both experiences were extremely fraught. Following a performance of Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” during her first appearance on the show, Cowell looked at Marshall and remarked, “I think you probably would.” Even as a guileless 18-year-old with frosted emo bangs and angel-bite piercings, Marshall realized it was a “loaded comment.” “The joke around that song is that it’s about anal sex,” she says. After the audience booed Cowell’s remark, Ryan Seacrest, then the show’s sole emcee, invited Marshall to come sit on the judge’s lap, but Paula Abdul intervened and beckoned the contestant to rest on hers instead. Marshall was voted off Idol the next day.

[...] Marshall’s mother, who recently passed away, was a lesbian, and she raised her child in a queer household where it was OK to be “open, flamboyant, and fabulous,” as Marshall recalls. Being taught by Idol that the outside world might mock the parts of herself she was taught to embrace was a rude awakening. “For so long, there was a lot of shame around it,” she says of her first Idol experience. “I felt gross. I didn’t like myself.”

[...]

While the team behind Idol’s current iteration did not offer a comment on the record, the source close to the Fox production contests the idea that the show stopped contestants from expressing their most authentic selves, while adding that “coming out might have damaged certain contestants’ chances for success.” “No one ever prevented anyone from doing so, but there was often a sense — right or wrong — that it would be better if the American public’s vote was based more on their judgment about the performers’ talent rather than their sexual orientations,” the source says.

[...]

Although it would feel convenient to point the finger solely at Idol, the show at its peak reflected America’s culture as much as it defined it. When the series premiered in 2002, polling from Gallup showed that 43 percent of the U.S. populace still thought homosexuality should be illegal; Lawrence v. Texas, the Supreme Court ruling that struck down sodomy laws in the 14 states where gay sex was still illegal, wouldn’t be issued for another year. A majority of Americans wouldn’t support the right of same-sex couples to marry until 2011, during Idol’s tenth season on the air. That was also, coincidentally, the first season not to feature either Paula Abdul or Simon Cowell on the judges panel. Abdul, hailed by sources as a major supporter of queer contestants behind the scenes, parted ways with the program after Season Eight. Cowell left the following year to launch the U.S. spinoff of The X Factor, the British singing competition he created in 2004.

[...]

For all the troubles that some queer contestants say they had on the show, many argue that Idol’s missteps paled in comparison to how cruelly they were treated by the rest of the media, the music industry, and even America at large. Idol voters eliminated Season Seven’s David Hernandez the week after an Associated Press story revealed that he had previously worked as a dancer at a Arizona strip club that catered to a “mostly male” clientele. By that time, photos that allegedly showed Hernandez bartending at a gay nightclub had already been published on Vote for the Worst, although Hernandez says the pictures weren’t even of him. He says that Idol was already well aware of his work history by the time the reports surfaced, as he disclosed the information in the extensive questionnaire the show required contestants to complete; spanning over 100 pages in length, it also asked singers to name their past sexual and romantic partners.

[...]

The media persecution of queer Idol contestants was so de rigueur during the show’s imperial era that few even questioned it. Jim Verraros’ coming out in 2002 prompted a two-page spread in the Globe, a U.S. supermarket tabloid, asking: “Who’s Next?” Chatter surrounding Adam Lambert’s sexuality made the New York Times after photos circulated of the singer, eyes covered in makeup and glitter all over his face, locking lips with another man. Following the Season Two finale, Clay Aiken says that the first question that he was ever asked by a reporter was: “Are you gay?” He wouldn’t formally come out until a 2008 People magazine cover story coinciding with the birth of his son, and for years, he says, confirmation of his sexual orientation “was the only thing that anybody in the press wanted” from him. “I never did an interview where somebody was not trying to ask me if I was gay,” he says, later adding: “Everybody wanted to be the one who got it.”

Aiken says that speculation regarding his sexuality reached such a fever pitch that, for a time, he stopped leaving his house. Even then, there was no hiding from it: “If I heard anybody setting up a gay joke on a sitcom or a late-night show, I held my breath because I knew my name was coming. Eighty percent of the time I was right.” The topic was a frequent punchline of late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, who frequently booked Aiken to appear on his show, and comedian Kathy Griffin spent a full 15 minutes discussing Aiken’s sexuality in a 2005 stand-up special on Bravo. “I do find him to allegedly be the gayest man in the free world,” she said in the routine, calling him “Gayken” to hearty applause from the crowd. Even two years after he had actually come out, a Season Eight episode of Family Guy saw Stewie, during a parody of Family Feud, being asked to name a “popular fruit” and responding: “Clay Aiken.” “I laugh at them now,” he says of the jokes, noting that he calls Griffin a friend. “I find them hilarious now, but at the time, it hurt a lot.”

Full article here

[anniflamma]

HEY ! okay so this is rlly random but i was wondering if u had any book .. well really any piece of media that has to do with ur interests and the ships you like? ik u get stuff from the bible and etc but i need more content of Jonathan and David , you have me invested.  😭

Heheh! You have come to the right place!

First of all, the book that truly put me in a chokehold is The Prince's Psalm by Eric Shaw Quinn.

I was hooked and read it in less than a week. I think it's really well written in both storytelling and character development.

Then we have Beloved King: A Queer Bible Musical by J. Sylvan. Right now, there is only a demo with 6 songs. But I'm really eager for it to get a full release one day.

Then we have the opera David et Jonathas by Charpentier! I know it's an opera, but seriously, it's really good, and I'm gonna be honest, the song when Jonathan dies made me ugly cry. It's an opera, so they play heavily on the tropes. Jonathan plays the almost feminine damsel and David is the hero. Saul is the over protective/paranoid father role.

I do have a much detailed review of these 3 adaptations from my Rating the most gayest King David adaptions. The other movies - adaptations there are for the memes.

Then we have books that I haven't read but want to: The Secret Chord by Geraldine Brooks and How Are the Mighty Fallen by Thomas Burnett Swann. I know that How Are the Mighty Fallen portrays David and Jonathan's relationship as romantic, but I'm not so sure about The Secret Chord. In case you are interested, you could take a look?

I also recommend non-fiction works such as Jacob's Wound: Homoerotic Narrative in the Literature of Ancient Israel by Theodore W. Jennings Jr. This book focuses on ancient Canaanite culture and narrative storytelling, explaining why David and Jonathan would be considered queer in that time. It's really interesting and provides some key details. The author mostly talks about the dynamics between David/Jonathan, Samuel/Saul, and Elisha/Elijah. But he also discusses Joseph and his gender nonconformity, as well as Ruth/Naomi.

And this is kind of non-David/Jonathan related, but I do really recommend the podcast It's in the Book: A Queer Bible Podcast. It's by the same person who's making the Beloved King musical. It has only 2 seasons and covers only Genesis, but gosh… I learned so much about queer themes in the Bible that, well, nobody really talks about. Like God having a womb, or Rebecca being called a twink 20 times, or the idea that Joseph and Dinah's souls were switched in the womb, explaining why Joseph is very feminine presenting. It's genuinely a really good podcast.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.