#it’s not personal ur country just sounds like my hell

[lavenderhazess]

In vet school learning about animal production and y’all what the hell are you doing in the USA 😅 they teach us (Australians) things like DONT do this this is very bad and then the next slide is ‘the Americans do it tho’

Also you call adrenaline ‘epinephrine’ why

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 26 ramble

the academic victim era continues. i like putting my lil personal bits at the beginning of these i think it humanizes me

ok. i have to pause mid intro song. i just hit my bowl of snap pea crisps and spilled them everywhere and i'm going to tweak

3 of them fell on the floor.. but they're kinda expensive so we don't get to have them very often.. is it worth it..

i ate them i don't care

this has become more about me than the episode i'm gonna unpause it now

we're so back

celia at work core!! she dgaf!!!

MEET HELEN. pls don't be a tory in this universe pls pls pls pls. i didn't fw human helen at all i am less excited than i was about basira but also basira was one of my all time favs forever

hiii aliceeee <333

magnusing is so me tbh if you think about it

so does alice's voice have a slight hint of that effect they use for chester and norris to anyone else or.. like she sounds computer-y and i don't know if it's just the microphone or something real

"take protection" "jesus christ!" "LIKE A BIG KNIFE OR SOMETHING" CRYING. see my mind didn't go there sam so what's up with that sam huh sam

the hell does celia have in her workbag wtf. queen what. it's the trauma "are you sure that thing is legal?" LMFAOOOOOO

ok i don't like you saying nauseas because i'm on TWO medications that make me nauseas and i just ate pls don't be gross

DAMN. i was gonna be like JARED? HOPWORTH? but it's jared 'smith.' gerard jared is kind of like michael

P.E. teachers creep me out but probably because the only one my high school has ever officially had got fired my freshman year for spanking girls in the locker room and they never actually replaced him they just had various sports coaches take over

yea this is freaking me out already i don't like it

oh that's so sad the dad fucking died poor kid omg

wtf was he possessed by the soul of cross country. what is the horror here. ohh running for his life ok thanks

oh so the horror isn't mr jared it's what happens to him i guess. sorry man i shouldn't have called you creepy

this is just how my friends describe morning cross country practice

yeah so i was right to quit cross country in 5th grade then!!! running IS the horror!!!!

NOT THE TAPE RECORDER WTFFFFF IS THIS ERROR. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ARCHIVIST.............................................................................................................................................................................................

AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT AT AT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

we were right guyss it's an archivist...

IT SAID ARCHIVIST ALICE YES LOCK IN QUEEN LOCK IN SHE'S SOOOOOOOO HEHEHE SHE'S SO SMART I'M IN LOVE WITH U

yes alice connect those dots!!! connect them babe!!!!! i'm scared though to be honest with you

SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE KNOWS DUMBASS. PLEASE LISTEN TO HER OR I'M WRITING ANOTHER HATE POST ABOUT YOU. oh thank you sam i don't hate you

HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED hey helen

has celia shut down. oh my god she sounds really scared. probably because helen tried to eat her in another universe.

CELIA'S SO SCARED HONEYYYYYYY. wait now she's bringing up the magnus institute LMAOO

bloody big basement lmao it's where they keep the bodies

at least 20 years? it burned down 20 years ago? who's reaching out after it burned what

HELEN'S LAUGH MADE ME JUMP LMFAOOOOO HELP

SAM MEETING JACK???? SAM MEETING JACK??????? THEY'RE SO CUTE WTF OMG ur baby's a tory HAHA

celia you are being watched honeyyy you are you need to connect some dots. alice style. obsessed with her.

calling her baby goblin after that baby episode that celia was mentioned by name in hello. hello.

ok sam let's go no longer being as selfish thanks sam.

awe that's adorable i actually think he's been really nice lately holy shit.

LMAOOO WHY DID WE GET AN AUDIBLE KISS ON EPISODE 26 I THOUGHT THEY DIDN'T LIKE THOSE

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have so many ideas but none of them can be put into words, all I can do is just wheeze as they come along🤣

Also remember how wordy and flowery Teyvat speech/dialogue is? ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE---

Reader can understand the basic speech which is why they are so blunt (I love this idea so much 🤣) and can piece together an idea what the person is talking about.

*insert random person talking about a commission with a long ass backstory*

Traveller & Co.: *understands completely and making plans to retrieve said commission*

C!Reader: (They said they had a cart.... a bunch of hilichurls appeared... dancing?.... they want us to dance fight the hilichurls???? Dance off???)

Actual story->The person's cart got ambushed by a group of hilichurls and taunted them by dancing around it.

....... it doesnt always translate well

Also imagine Reader heaeing random names and overthinks it as a word instead of a name.

Example: Pantalone means pants in Philippine English (sorry not sorry Pantalone)

Tsaritsa??? Oh do they speak russian there??? - reader

Capitano -> captain in some countries

(I once mistake Sandrone as Sandalone and I just went "... ehh??? Standalone? Sandalone as in Sand Alone???? Sandal (Flip flops)????

Oh wait its Sandrone" ".... as in Sand and Drone??--)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM ANON MY BELOVED 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜✨️✨️

Gif is me writing u anything ever:

AHFLALA FERRRALLL I STG I ALSO THOUGHT ABT THIS!! WHY U COULD ALSO BE BLUNT BC U ONLY GOT THE BASICS 💀 RIP

Man theyre written language looks so scary to learn, kinda like when I looked into trying to learn Mandarin/Japanese (and even Korean), the letters r just inherently so different i was so intimidated

And u dont even read it like left -> right like English

Omg i tried to reply to a arabic comment on my art post once, and i felt so acommplished when i finally was able to type "اشكرك (thanks)" but like, i had to put it on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TEXT BOX, LIKE ALIGN IT TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HOW U KNOW ENGLISH IS INHERENTLY ALIGNED LEFT, IT WAS SO TRIPPY-

Going thru genshin life only understanding minimal words of anything anyone says is honestly how i feel like ive been playing Genshin LMAO

Those analysis videos/lore are saving a bitch's life out here

PANTALONE IS ALSO RLLY CLOSE TO SPANISH FOR PANTS I KNOW WHAT U MEANNN LOL

UR ENDLESS CONFUSION FOR SANDRONE PLEASE ANON U DIDNT EVEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST CORRECTION IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSEEE 😂😭 SAME THO

That would literally be you in genshin tho, like i could easily see it being like, back to back misunderstandings 😭😭

Like u think u got it right (Oh so his name is Rex Lapis, wait what? Morax? Ok his name is Morax...?? What??? Zhongli??? WHO IS THIS MAN-)

.

JFC first they gotta have a whole different language (like u saw in game)

And ON TOP OF THAT THEY CAN TALK FOR 10 MIN STRAIGHT ABT THE WEATHER OR SOME SHIT??

No... just, no.

U quickly decide u like what little bits of language u could pick up so far, which just results in,

U guessed it, simple speech and short fragmented sentences (or broken Teyvatian)

U cant even bring urself to care when u give half the characters a heart attack and send the rest into laughing fits

No fucks given, they wanna make this extra hard on u by being wordy on top of a new language,

Yeah u dont care what comes out of ur mouth anymore

Also, since everybody is raised in Teyvat very few ppl dont know the language, which once again brings us back to ancient/older deities/creatures who have a more simplistic version/outdated version of modern language

.

Omg getting stuff mistranslated bc u cant understand it all/only keywords sounds like hell but also rlly funny

Traveler/Paimon: "Alright, yes, all is well. We will accept this comission, and depart soon."

You: "...they want us to?? Dance fight?? Hilichurls...???"

Traveler just stares at u half in pity, half trying to hide their amused smile, Paimon is giggling

The commissioner is shook bc a supposed ancient creature?? Just accepted?? Their simple commission?? And u think they want u to dance battle???

.

PLEASE U MISTRANSLATE THE HARBINGERS NAMES RIGHT TO THEIR FACES

Signora: "You shall rue the day you crossed the Fatui mortals!"

You: "Lady we don't care, just fight us."

(Signora just means 'Lady')

Signora: *offended gasp*

Traveler/Paimon trying to stifle laughter

Raiden Shogun jaw dropped a little

.

Pantalone: "What a pleasure to finally meet you traveler, and thine wonderful companions!" *little bastard smile*

You: "And it was awful to meet you, Pants."

Pantalone: 😶😧😡 "Pants?! HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN GIVE ME THE MOST BASE RESPECT, AFTER I GREETED THEE SO KINDLY-"

.

Oh its so funny, everytime you talk about Childe you always phrase it like he's an actual child bc u thought everyone was just calling him a little kid for some reason (u dont know how Teyvat ages work, he could be for all you know!)

Not very long, but Vine Boom anon your brain >>>>

Ur ideas r so on point, i love them sm

That makes perfect sense why u could be talking blunt too, like an in world explanation really

For you, all the desserts🥰 🤲🍪🍨🍰🍮🧋🍦🍡

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[thswrtchdthng]

your first mistake was giving me the green light on rambling about ultrakill

THE LORE OF ULTRAKILL HEAVILY SUMMARIZED:

mankind is dead. blood is fuel. hell is full.

THE LORE OF ULTRAKILL ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS SUMMARIZED (still very summarized and i might get some things wrong):

during ww1, various countries involved began developing machines that ran on blood. each new machine created was meant to be stronger than the last one. in the end, this led to the creation of the earthmover by japan, which was an absolutely giant machine. so large that people started living on top of them. before the war ended, only one machine was created, though it never got a chance to fulfill its purpose of defeating the earthmover: this machine was called v1, and its unique ability was to heal upon contact with blood from any source. when the war was over, a different version of v1, named v2, was created for the purpose of keeping peace. these are v1 and v2.

now, eventually, humanity discovered an entrence to hell. don't question it. also hell is a living organism.

then, somehow, humanity died. all of it. everyone was dead. and all that remained were the machines they'd created.

in ultrakill, a first-person shooter video game, you play as v1, and your goal is simple: blood. you just want more blood. and you are in hell. so you start ultrakilling everybody. it's also based on dante's inferno, so that's fun.

in the post i made, i said alice is like v2 to me. this is mostly because v2 is an important character, but not a very powerful boss fight, and alice is a very lore-relevant character, but not very high up on the corporate ladder. but also because v2's purpose was to maintain peace and order, but she didn't get to fulfill that purpose. everyone died. v2 is, even though she never admits or acknowledges it, very possibly the only machine with the capacity to truly miss humanity. idk why, but that reminds me a lot of alice dyer. make of that what you will.

now. the other character i mentioned is THE FERRYMAN. THIS GIRL->

basically ferrymen are sinners from the layer of wrath deemed worthy of redemption by heaven. they're tasked with carrying passengers through the afterlife. another fun bit of ferryman lore is that they all tear their skin off from shame, but heaven grants them a holy cloth to cover their faces. pretty simple, yeah? but this one looks a bit bored. probably because she was promised she could go to heaven if she carried enough passengers, but...no more passengers are coming through. because humanity is dead.

the ferryman is considered a slightly more difficult boss fight, or maybe just one slightly later in the game than both v2 fights (you fight v2 twice), but you can actually literally just. pay her to leave. toss some coins at her and you can literally just skip the fight.

i can't articulate why she reminds me of lena but. she does.

so anyways all of this and i haven't even gotten to gabriel. there is so much lore. there's an excellent video explaining all of it that i can send a link to if i've caught ur interest with this.

oh also a lot of people ship v2 and the ferryman.

oh also neither of them canonically go by she/her pronouns but it's a very very common headcanon, and i'm pretty sure hakita (the developer) gave a shout out to the she/her v2 headcanon specifically at some point.

I LOVE ULTRAKILL I THINK ULTRAKILL IS REALLY COOL!!!!!

okokok. several thoughts.

this seems so fucking cool????????? to the point that I might play it when I can get it

thoughts on shipping v1 and v2? cause from what you've said they sound quite shippable to me

if hell is a living organism, is it like,,,,consenting?? to be entered????? does it have a personality?????? that might just be my conceptum tendencies but,,,,,is hell like a character in itself (sort of)?? (the question here is can I romance hell or not, and does hell enjoy being entered)

if it's based on Dante's Inferno I already know I'm going to like it

v2 sounds extremely huggable. can I hug her?

and you're right that 'being the only one with the ability to miss humanity' gives Alice vibes for some reason

ferrymen sound so sad to me. can I hug them? and give them a little skincare?

the ferryman concretely is hot. is that alright to say? she sounds very interesting to talk to (do ferrymen talk? does anyone here talk?)

well everyone you've mentioned so far is hot to me tbh

who's gabriel? please please please send me that link I wanna know about them now. I've always had a complicated relationship with every archangel gabriel based thing/character (I have very passionate feelings towards biblical gabriel for some reason) so I'll probably love them

but yeah ultrakill sounds pretty cool! I'll probably look more into it in the future

[lilacs-world]

I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

[daisyvisions]

Hey daisyyy! I was the one who requested that one haknyeon smut (whatever you say) AND I SUPER LOVE IT ALFKVJALDKCKAL 😔😔😭😭 AND IN MAVERICK!AU? U WANT ME DEAD?JK HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm glad u enjoyed writing it as much as i love reading it (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

After reading it, a scenario pops up in my mind 🤭 while hak and reader was getting nasty 😩 u know in the battlefield(?) idk what to call it hahaskfjsksk there's cctv EVERYWHERE and just imagine sangyeon or maybe hyunjae as a staff or head of the mvk org and they happen to look at the cctv monitor lakfjfjsk seeing the both of u getting it, he cant help but touch himself 😔 i'll leave the rest to ur imagination 😆

askjdnaskjnd WHY WOULD YOU INCLUDE THAT 😩 (for the sake of the fic I wrote I'll make it sangyeon since hyunjae 💀 at the beginning)

Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), mentions of male masturbation & being pleasured from sex, mentions of violence (killing)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

Can you imagine? Sangyeon's been your classmate since forever. Both of you were on good terms and he was the most reliable person to anyone, hell that's the very reason why he even got elected class president.

Just like you however, he didn't expect that this whole gov't / maverick set-up would end up having him kill his own friends and peers.

What everyone didn't know about Sangyeon tho was that he's the son of one of the biggest conglomerates in the country (yeah his family is pretty good at laying low)

But when the maverick organization read his profile and found out, they HAD to keep him alive (bcos his dad was involved in the scheme somehow and if they killed his only heir, they're in deep shit)

so yeah, they let him play the game. Then they decided to pull him out in the middle of it just to be safe. It broke your heart honestly when you heard his name bring mentioned through the PA system "Lee Sangyeon, eliminated."

and it broke his heart, watching all the people he used to know be killed through the CCTVs.

He was really anxious in his seat honestly, every time he saw you through the monitors. He just wanted you to stay alive til the very end (mainly because he's got a fat crush on you for a long time).

There were so many instances where he almost bumped into you, but he would go the other way or when he saw another classmate almost get to you, he would distract them. He made sure nothing happened to you.

You can imagine how pissed off he was when he was pulled out of the game in the middle, having you left to fend for yourself.

So when he saw Haknyeon tackle you down to the floor through one of the CCTVs in the room, his heart nearly exploded out of his chest.

But when he saw what Haknyeon did to you after nearly killing you, an all fours with your ass up, your desperate face trying to keep quiet but your eyes rolling back from the pleasure, the cum just gushing out of your tight hole... well let's just say he couldn't help but touch himself thinking that was him giving you all that pleasure. The beautiful sounds of your muffled moans echoing through the screen.

And maybe once you've escaped... if he manages to pull some strings... he could show you what he's capable of too

[hypnoneghoul]

Fellow disabled guy here too from a different place!! For me personally (since healthcare is very... ehhh. here) i actually really enjoy seeing different places have good healthcare. It gives me hope that maybe other places will too and like makes me happy that other people dont have to deal with shit healthcare

Like hell yeah! U go get those pain killers! Feel better king!

Its almost... nice? To have represention of good things too? Its refreshing

Pls dont worry ab stuff like that, technically any post feels like its subjected to different opinions, and i dont think that one was harmful. Plus now i know more countries with a good health system :) always good to take note of those. Plus u were just posting about ur day its rlly not that srs 😭 (again though, its okay to feel that way, but @ anon maybe dont write it in a way that sounded like you wanted to start drama, im sure hyp here wouldve been more than glad to discuss it w u a more civil manner, privately even 😭)

Anyways sorry if alot of that was repetitive, im not too good with wording things out in my head but i hope the point gets across

you worded it very well, thank you so much for saying this. this is what my friends said too and yeah at no point I wanted to brag. thank you <3

[fairycosmos]

i love you chloe i do, and i think you're very aware of the privileges you have been afforded (being white, living in a relatively secure country, food and shelter) but let's be real living under capitalism in this political landscape and the nhs doing fuckall to help people with their mental health issues and in general the cost of living crisis..... it's okay to say you're not doing well even if you have some of your basic needs met idk if this sounds rude but to me it's honestly no surprise most of us are not doing well... look around us, how could we be doing well given the circumstances of modern life. and even if you were well situated and doing well, there's also the grappling with imperalism and neo-colonialism, plus the exploitation in the workforce happening in our own countries right in front of our eyes

dw it doesn't sound rude at all!! and like ur objectively right, there's no point in playing the pain olympics with my own struggles - i rarely used to do it. i used to think: well the shit im going through is still rough so i don't need to factor in that other people have it worse when considering my own trauma. but the older i get the more it sinks in that compared to most human existences the world has ever seen, mine has been a generally comfortable and uneventful one despite the grief. ive always had food and water and a home and an education and modern conveniences and (relative) freedom a day decent physical health and certain privileges, and they're such important things that have always just been right there for me to access, out of pure luck, not even bc i am more deserving of them than those who have no access to these necessities - and i still never feel good. i still lose my mind all the time and cry basically every day and can't manage to overcome my own pain and loss and mental illness and contempt for the way society is set up. sometimes i just think to myself, if spirits are somehow real, they must look at me and see the weakest most pitiful creature ever lmfao. whew anyway i do completely get and understand your point, and i agree, despite my complicated personal emotions on the topic. i know the present moment has its own legitimate and terrible challenges, and they just seem to get worse by the day, and we probably really r in a special kind of hell when it comes to the progression of late stage capitalism. and just because our urgent needs are currently being met (and who knows how long we can keep that up, like you said, cost of living crisis etc...), doesn't mean our emotional ones are, which can still be debilitating. thats what i would tell anyone else struggling with this feeling, so i get you. i don't know, it's just so hard to cope sometimes. it's so bizarre to feel utterly depressed and slightly lucky at the same time. anyway, thank you for being a friend and a validating voice that i needed to hear. i really appreciate it. love u love u love u ❤️

[theoutlawfaleena]

I want to share with the class / your blog my very chaotic Zombie Apocalypse Call of Duty (Modern Warfare 2) AU, featuring my self-insert because I love Ghost/Soap/König 🫶

Alright, the overall plot is just surviving the apocalypse and getting to know each other Ig.

The backstory however is just as bland (I'm writing for the thoughts to get out of my head and not to publish a novel 😫). The 141 were sent a signal which located the US, but before they could track the cords or smth the signal vanished. Landing in the US, everything felt uncomfortable and no human being could be seen.

At some point they run into my self-insert who is chronically ill because I've never seen a chronically ill character in an apocalypse before?? (The way he gets his meds is really convenient, there's like aid stations near Canada and Mexico because the zombies are only affecting the US and the other countries don't want to interfere with that. I'm also European, so just in case anyone questions the aid station.) But yea my self-insert has that extra luck to be here.

They obviously ask him whats going on and he thinks they're joking at first and when he actually tells them about the apocalypse they think he's joking and I'm not that far into writing yet 🥲 but they end up creating a new team and just survive

The way I would introduce König is by going the traumatized route and making a quest gone wrong and his entire team dies or smth. Though when he joins the 141 / The Survival Group 141 he gets to be the sniper (as I doubt anyone would continue to follow the rules / law once they realize how serious the apocalypse actually is) and that lifts his mood despite his dead team 😵‍💫

To explain the lackluster writing, I'm doing this for fun and fun only. Never in Hell will this publish into a novel in case someone wants to complain about this 🫠

Oh I forgot the zombies themselves: The Virus is a mix of the one from The Last of Us (fungus) and Left 4 Dead (flu). So its like a fungus / mould that makes infected feel as if they have the flue before turning into aggressive cannibals. I'm aware this is very much copied from these two games but idc, the reason for the infection is pretty smart so I'll use it as well

WH -- HOLD ON WHOA. WOWIE WOW WOW ANON THIS SOUNDS COOL AS HELL !??)/?:/

i'm a bit of a sucker for apocalypse aus and urs sounds AMAZING to be just smthn living in ur head omg,, i know u said u didn't wanna write it BUT if u ever change ur mind..... 👀 i gotta be the first person to know 😌

[itsjustfire4]

Marauders as things my friends and I have said.. again (pt. 3)

Sirius: blonde/neg 🙄

Peter: I'M BLONDE?

Sirius: Get well soon

———————————————————————

Peter: what is the gay pirates hell is going on?

———————————————————————

Sirius: what the fuck no gay peopel in bro squad

James: bro homie pal home slice i would never do such non sock behavoir believe me

———————————————————————

James: *panicking over reading something wrong his crush sent him*

Sirius: Tell him you have dyslexia hoes love that

———————————————————————

Sirius: all the great punks be gay with their homies

———————————————————————

Sirius: Man I wanna paint my nails black again but like- i cant do my right hand! If only there was some attractive-person-soon-to-be-my-partner to do it for me! *dramatic sigh*

———————————————————————

Remus: I don’t wanna cry rn I have homework to do!

———————————————————————

*Peter & Sirius plying Mc*

Peter: Hey i found you’re favorite in thing!

Sirius: DICK?!

Peter: Coal?

Sirius: CREEPER AWW MAN

———————————————————————

Remus: Wait can you curse a penis?

———————————————————————

Remus: Why is the past day have i been confessed to by 3 people

James: my boy has bitches

———————————————————————

Remus: do you think i chose to be homosexual??????

Sirius: isn’t homosexuality a choice?

Remus: you’re right, thank you for bringing me to the light of jesus.. quite the light it is

———————————————————————

*Peter finds Remus’s address and threatens to come over*

Remus: IM NOT EVEN HOME ITS JUST MY DOG

Peter: bout to postcard ur dog <3

———————————————————————

Remus: also i’m not in toe of country town so i can be gay again

———————————————————————

Sirius: yay pears woo🍐🍐🍐

i love pears🍐🍐🍐

pears woo🍐🍐🍐

i love pears they the best fruit out there wooo🍐🍐🍐

James: pee

Sirius: i can't keep pretending Prongs i have something really serious to tell you but you have to promise this won't change our friendship

James: ok whats up

Sirius: i dicking hate pears

James: disgraceful

our friendship is over

i hate you

Sirius: Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name. But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume. Although you have indeed been called. You have all been called here. Into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach. But you will never find them, none of you will. This is where your story ends.And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you. Although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well, I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors: Be still and give up your spirits, they don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours. And then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest. For you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.

[ilostyou]

anon confession and advice please!! so i was dating this girl we met on okc and both deleted it after we moved to talking on discord and we went on 4 dates and really enjoyed time with each other and even had plans to go out again! then my discord account got hacked after that major password leak (i use the same password everywhere learnt my lesson 😭) and i never got to restore my account because i’d just moved countries a few months ago and couldn’t access my otp on the phone number i signed up from (literally worst case scenario 🤡) and the fuck of it all is that we never exchanged any other contact info other than discord 🥲 i literally tried to search for her online for months but it came to no avail and i feel like shit because she probably thinks i fucking ghosted her!!! this was last august. it’s been 6 months now and i was on instagram earlier today and you know how instagram has that creepy people suggested for you feature that comes up in between posts and it has the weirdest selection of accounts and people it thinks you have some connection to and ur like how do you even know i know this person?? HER ACCOUNT SHOWED UP and now like- i have a way to contact her again but what the hell am i even supposed to say after half a year of accidentally ghosting her?! i really want to talk to her again and clear things up even if it doesn’t go anywhere now at least for closure but like this is so… or maybe it’s better to just leave it.. ugh idk what to do :(

omg??? i mean. i think if you have your expectations managed and you genuinely just wanna clear the air then maybe that’s a really solid opportunity for you to be able to?! it sounds like something really did happen that stopped you guys from keeping up and that’s exactly what you can tell her no matter how wild lol

[burnedbyshoto]

a nurses job

— Bakugou breaks his arms and as a nurse, you have the responsibility to make sure that he is comfortable, even when he needs to use the bathroom.

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pairing: pro hero!bakugou katsuki x nurse fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, prohero!bakugou, golden showers/water sports/piss kink, degradation (giving), dirty talk, lusting/pining, handjobs

word count: 5,050

a/n: so, I was going to make this a piss in ur mouth and pussy type of fic, but I kept seeing all those beautiful bakugou piss arts where he’s with a nurse.... so this is inspired and brought upon by all the water sports bakugou x nurse art ive seen for three months.

kinktober day 21 main kink: piss | kinktober masterlist

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You’re not quite sure what persuaded you into wanting to become a nurse as a child.

Maybe it was because your quirk (when you hum at an A flat, everyone within 5 meters experiences accelerated healing properties) was useless for Pro Hero work, so you realized early on that being a Pro Hero was a distant dream. Maybe it was because medical staff were still hailed as everyday heroes despite being in a world with people who could perform extraordinary achievements. It started as a small obsession to prove to the soon to be jobless, dream broken, and graduated failures of the hero course high schools that you had done more than them. That you, unlike them, were recognized as a hero. 

You were decent with math and science, so you strove for medical school. But with the horrendous costs of schooling, your then living situation, and your dislike of unneeded and unwanted competitive stress, you deterred toward the nursing pathway. It was a pathway where you really found yourself, or at least, you thought so.

Empathy, emotion, and the need to see people come out of a hospital better than when they entered was something that grew on you quickly and obviously. Your earliest clinical rounds often left you with swollen, tired feet from walking around for restless hours, but with a smile on your face that was irreplicable. With every semester in school, you got better, connected better with your patients. Your feet still ache after long shifts, and sometimes your smile is hollow and broken, and if you look closely, you could see dried tears and puffy eyelids, but you wouldn’t ever regret this decision to become a nurse.

At twenty-five, newly graduated from nursing school, already working full time at the best hospital in Japan, while studying for your degree to eventually become a nurse practitioner. You loved your job quite a lot. They had placed you immediately within their Post-OP, ICU, and recovery wings, and even though you were somewhat new, you were celebrating a year of working in a few weeks, you already had some… more than familiar faces.

“Well, Ground Zero-san, I guess you owe me a drink because unless my eyes are deceiving me, it looks like both your arms are broken, no?” you hum, your grin bright and wide, not even attempting to hide it’s glee as your high profile patient sat seething on the hospital bed. “It’s been, what? Two weeks since you last showed up here? You getting old?”

“Oh, would you shut the fuck up, you shitty ass nurse?!” Bakugou snarled, his arms obviously trying to tense and move against the large casts that envelope him. “The fuck would you expect to happen when facing off with a quirk that’s specifically meant to break people’s arms?!”

“Deku didn’t break any arms,” you point out with a soft laugh, eyes still scanning and reading through his charts to check his medical needs and medicine prescribed by the attending and when he should be taking them. “A bit weird that only half of the Wonder Duo was indescribably injured, no?”

A loud snarl ripped from Bakugou’s throat, and you stifled your own laughter as you raised your eyesight to look him straight in his raging eyes.

“I took that damn nerds hits because he’s broken his arms so many fucking times he’ll be forced to amputate them if he breaks them again!” Bakugou’s eyes were near white in his anger, but the intensity of his emotions was heavily diminished by the fact that his arms were strapped to his chest in thick, round bandages.

“You can admit you care for him,” you chide, ignoring his ‘like hell I do!’ Placing the chart down and walking to his IV drip, you checked to see if anything he was hooked to required any changes or whatnot. “Besides, this is not the first time I’ve seen you in here! It was quite surprising to see Ground Zero on bedrest on my first ever shift here.”

That much was true.

You had been working at Tokyo Hospital for nearly nine months now. Within the nine months, you saw a lot of heroes; that much was true. Your quirk was versatile as a nurse, and you were bright, young, very good at your job, and definitely a beautiful individual. So, when you were assigned to be working most of your days healing heroes because they were the backbone of the country, it didn’t quite catch you by surprise. It was a common assignment you had as a nursing student too.

You just didn’t expect the head nurse of the floor to assign one of your five rooms to be holding none other than Ground Zero, a.k.a Bakugou Katsuki.

Of course, you weren’t an idiot. You had known about the explosion hero since high school! You had sat in front of your TV in high school, attempting to do your homework while watching the rather intensive first-year battles. He had done well in every stage, placing within the top three each time and even winning the game! You had cringed at the awards ceremony but had been horrified at the news of his kidnapping. 

But after that, with the rising tensions of the villain world upon the dying world left behind by All Might, you had forgotten him for a moment. As time went on, and finally, a new support system was brought forth, Ground Zero, much like his quirk entailed, exploded onto the scene alongside Deku and a few other young heroes.

So, sure, you expected to maybe one day run into the ash-blond hero, but you didn’t expect it to happen on day one.

All things considered, the two of you got along rather well.

His... strong personality did make you wary of him at first, taking his near verbal barrage until you, very flusteredly he will argue, told him to ‘shut up, you butthole!’

You were horrified at your lack of professionalism, and Bakugou had gone silent as he stared at you in silence.

“Did you just call me a butthole?” he echoed, his face full of emotions you could not read. You felt on the verge of panicking, unsure if he was going to potentially tell on you! The sounds of a barking laughter rang in your ear, and you looked up to see his grinning, much more relaxed form. “Are you some shitty preschooler?!”

Thus began a working relationship of sorts between you and Bakugou.

He was an asshole, and you tried your best to not let him talk you off a cliff. It didn’t take very long for you to find out what made him tick surprisingly enough, and you used that to your advantage. The best way to tease him right now was by reminding him that he had been hospitalized more times than Deku, who apparently had held the record for the number of hospitalizations between him and his friends.

“Are you going to mention that shit first meeting every time we talk?!” Bakugou barked, his eyes narrowed as he turned his head away from you.

“After you admit you care deeply for all your friends!” you chirp back, stepping away from his IV drip, satisfied by what you saw. “Well, you look good for now. I’ll be checking up on you every ten to fifteen minutes since you can’t press the button until we can get those casts off! Did ya need anything before I go check on my other patients?”

“Open the damn window; it’s stuffy in here,” Bakugou grumbled, his face finally facing you again. 

“Of course,” you smile cheekily, your eyes squinting with your broad grin. “It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy!”

Standing at the side of the bed, you stretched over Bakugou to grab the edge of the window and slide it open. Through your stance, you were entirely aware of how this looked, how this felt. Your breasts centimeters from Bakugou’s face, your eyes never once breaking from the window to feign your innocence as you finally pull away. Even with scrubs on, you could feel his hot, sharp breathes expelling through your clothes, his ears tinging just the smallest bit red as you smile.

“Anything else?” you asked sweetly, failing to hide your impish grin.

“Put the water cup close by,” he grunted, eyes staring at the liter of water at his side table. Well, he wouldn’t be able to use his arms until just before he was set to be discharged, so moving the water closer was a good idea.

Nodding, you grabbed a nearby cup, filling it three-quarters of a way full before placing it onto the feeding table and dragging it near his mouth, a bendy straw already secured into the cup. You watched as he shot forward, putting the plastic straw into his mouth and beginning to drink the cold water. His eyes were back on yours, deceivingly cold had you already not been an expert on his personality.

With one final soft chuckle, you waved at Bakugou as you headed out, a cheerful smile on your face as he continued to drink his water.

“See ya in a few!”

Well, you guess there was one more important detail about your relationship with Bakugou Katsuki. For the past five months, you have been doing everything in your power to seduce him — to get him to admit that he wanted you too.

You knew the ethics and the morals behind falling for a patient of yours, much less a high profile patient at that. You knew that if your little crush was ever found out, you would most definitely be moved from his room. You were also damningly aware that you should have brought up your initial feelings for the explosion hero to your admin the moment it arose. But the thought and the way you were always so happy to be around him eventually overruled your logic. Five months ago, you had stayed at the hospital until nearly three am, talking with a severely concussed Bakugou. You were stationed for an overnight round with the task of making sure that he didn’t fall asleep. And for the first time in your time knowing Bakugou, the two of you somehow clicked into place, and when he was discharged the next morning — the nurse who had a quirk to rid of concussions finally arriving — he had thanked you.

It was so benign, so incredibly simple, yet the way the golden sunshine illuminated his blond hair and made his red eyes shine like a ruby, you found your own tired body feeling heated and warm. He wasn’t such a lousy conversationalist, and you had already enjoyed all your interactions together, yet it still caught you off guard to feel your heart pounding in your throat as he pulled on his jacket and left.

So after coming to terms with your sudden infatuation for the stubborn hero, you began to express your desires and feelings for him without having to say it. For all that he was worth and all that he expressed himself to be extremely observant, Bakugou Katsuki still had no idea that you liked him.

Unfortunately, your scrub nurse uniform wasn’t precisely seductive. The light blue of the breathable, sterile uniform was about as unsexy as uniforms got. But that never stopped you from leaning in too close when doing what Bakugou demanded of you. It didn’t prevent you from accidentally dropping papers in front of him and bending over to show off the curves of your ass.

There had never been a time such as this one where you hated that the old, ‘sexy’ nurse outfits were no longer up to standard and banned from use. How you would have loved to be wearing gartered held stockings just to accidentally flash to Bakugou. But, you suppose that it’s alright. Even though your feelings and ambitions to get the Pro Hero to like you as much as you did him, you never tried to push it.

For now, you were just an asshole tease.

You carried out the rest of your rounds in peace, your pager sitting comfortably in your pocket, unused, unneeded for now. The rest of your four patients were doing well for now.

One was asleep, most likely due to the medicine coursing through his veins, but his vitals remained unchanged.

Another was in the process of getting ready to be discharged, her family there to help her in leaving.

The third was eating his dinner, eyes concentrated on a poker game on the TV as he asked you to help fluff his pillow.

The last was busy with a physical therapist, her forehead slick with sweat as she attempted to sit up from her chair.

All in all, they were all doing fine, and you were back to the beginning, back to Bakugou’s room.

You entered his closed room door to be greeted by an empty bed. Your eyes widened immediately, the initial wave of pure horror flashing through you that by some freak accident, some murderous villain had kidnapped the injured hero straight from the hospital bed. 

“Ground Zero-san?!” you called out, a pitched voice of concern frilling your voice as you stumbled through the room. Your eyes were frantically searching the room, fingers feeling the lingering warmth of his body on the bed and your eyes noticing the empty water cup on his table still. The sheets of his bed haphazardly thrown off as if in a struggle.

Your fingers wound around the panic button, your ears straining to hear any sort of sign of Bakugou still being here.

A gritted teeth snarl was muffled from the attached bathroom, and you froze, unable to move as you felt the untouched button in your hands turn as light as a feather. You approached the bathroom door with soft footsteps, the smile on your face, unable to be stopped as you pulled the door open.

The sight you happened upon was something that made your lips curl into a wider smirk as the hospital clothed-clad hero absolutely struggled with his lack of functioning hands and arms to pull down his pants. Something he couldn’t do himself because the socks and slippers on his feet kept him from even attempting to tug his pants off with his toes.

In his struggle, undoubtedly miserable attempt to get his pants and underwear off his waist, Bakugou seemed ignorant to your arrival. His back still towards you, his head tilted down in his struggle as he twisted and pulled at practically nothing.

And as you watched him struggle, you couldn’t help but let your eyes drink in his form that stood tall before you. Most occurrences where you found yourself face to face with Bakugou, he was always tucked in a bed (except that time you realized your feeling for him), whether it was because he needed to be or because he was forced to be. So seeing him in his full height, seeing how despite your size, you were still only at his shoulder, made your eyelashes flutter.

He was tall, so deliciously tall, you wanted to climb onto a chair to see if he would be taller even with that added height. And oh how the flimsy material of his hospital outfit was stretched then against the taut muscles of his back. They flexed and shifted with his aggravation, and the only thought on your mind was to rake your fingers against the tempting muscle and skin.

“Shitty. fucking. villain!” he hissed angrily, sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he still struggled to do what nature called him for. 

But you couldn’t help it; the flexing muscles of his back, the lower tenor of his voice, and the way he seemed ridiculously larger than life at the moment tipped your restraint over. Your ability to hold back crashing through you like a tsunami wave, drowning you until you found your hand tethered to the tight spot at the center of his spine, your hushed words drifting to his ear like sweet, warm honey.

“You need any help here, Ground Zero-san?” you asked, your voice just loud enough to have your hot breath fanning against his sweaty exposed neck. You could feel him twitch in your hold, his body stiffening as he whipped his head around to look at you, red eyes wild, wide, and dark.

“Don’t ya know how to fucking knock?!” he snapped, his body flushed at being caught in the bathroom, unable to shed his clothes. He doesn’t move from your touch, and that small detail makes you warm, knowing that he wasn’t entirely repulsed by your touch. 

“You were missing from your bed, and I called your name,” you smile despite his angry glare. “I know you are susceptible to hear loss, but I thought you were still in the clear.”

“I ain’t fucking deaf,” Bakugou growled, his face twisted with a frown. “And that still doesn’t explain why the hell you’re here!”

“Oh, were you not just completely struggling earlier?” you feign shock, the grin on your face unstoppable at the embarrassed scowl that sets on his face. You step even closer to him so that your torso is perpendicular to his side. Your hand still gently touching his muscled back, and your free hand gently pressing to his own abdomen, the feeling of his flexed muscles, making you dizzy as you peer down at the white toilet. “Is there a villain in the toilet? I didn’t think that was possible!”

“Of fucking course not, there’s not a shitty villain in the toilet.” Bakugou flushed, his body entirely trapped by you, but he made no play to escape.

“Oh, so did you need help?”

Bakugou stares at you, his mind whirling a kilometer a second as he contemplates his next course of action. The both of you know he needs help, and still, the both of you are aware that his ability to ask of that from you is slim to none given he couldn’t even wait for you to return to his room.

“Tch,” he clicks his tongue angrily, annoyed, completely fed up. His eyes rolling to the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge you as his head nods once. “Help me, shitass nurse.”

“Of course!” you chirp, your eyes finding his hooded ones.

You give him one last warm, sweet smile before the hand on his torso lightly drags down his stomach, soft in its unashamed way of feeling him up. Your head tilted as your fingers hooked into the tight waistband of his pants and pulled it down, the heat of your palm accidentally dragging itself over the imprint of his cock behind his boxers.

The slight, flustered choking noise at the back of his throat didn’t go ignored by you, but rather but aside for later. Your eyes flashing up to see his red eyes wide, his cheeks so lightly dusted with pink as you managed to pull down his boxers too. 

“There!” you exclaim, your eyes closing in your grin before you turn your attention back down to his exposed dick. 

Immediately, you had to hold back a noise of pure want and lust at the sight of him. He was long, undoubtedly eight inches, definitely more. Although you couldn’t tell how thick, you knew his dick would fill your palm without a struggle. The trimmed, dark blond pubes and the protruding veins are what did it for you, your tongue poking out for a millisecond to wet your lips as you stared at his dark pink head.

“Stop staring at it!” Bakugou hissed, clearly embarrassed if the slight voice crack said anything about it. 

You looked back up at him, fake confusion swimming in your eyes as you tilted your head. “It’s only a penis. I see millions of these all the time.”

“Yeah, but it’s fucking weird!”

A soft laugh escaped your lips, your eyes rolling softly as you sighed in retreat, “Fine, fine, let's pee big boy and get you in bed.”

With your dominant hand, you grabbed his dick with a soft grip, pleasure simmering through you at the confirmation of the thick dick in your palm. But it seemed you weren’t the only one who thought that for the moment you tried to steer his dick toward the toilet to assist in aim, Bakugou hissed loudly. His flesh twitching to life in your warm, soft hand as it began to grow upward.

You didn’t say anything; your jaw remained as tight and closed as your vocal box despite the egging need to tease him and celebrate his apparent approval of your touch. So, eventually, in a voice that defied the nervous energy coursing through your veins, you asked: “Didn’t you need to pee?”

Bakugou let out a throaty, guttural groan, his anger hissing between his teeth as his dick twitched again in your hold, growing longer and harder still.

“I can’t take a damn piss with a hard-on, you idiot!” he roared despite the strawberry red blush on his cheeks. You admired the way he was still fighting for control of an upper hand here despite — clearly — not having any.

“Oh, haha! Silly me!” you laugh, your hand shifting against his length, your warm palm getting closer to the base of his cock.

“W-What are you doing?!” Bakugou spluttered, your soft butterfly touches sending him through a loop he clearly wasn’t expecting. “You could just wait for it to die!” 

“It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy,” you repeat your words, your hold on his dick growing firmer and harder just as his cock continued to do. “You clearly need to pee, and there’s no telling when your cock will go down.”

“I’LL MAKE IT GO DOWN!” Bakugou yells, but the usual sharpness to his tone has deflated, diminished to nothing but whining embarrassed yell. You look up at his clenched jaw and how a pretty pink glows on his cheeks, and you’re mesmerized.

Looking back down at his growing cock that warms your hand immensely, you hum, slightly twisting your hand around his length. Bakugou shudders, a whine hidden in his throat as you open your own mouth.

“Do you want me to stop?” you question, your eyes fluttering up to look at his clouded red ones. “Do you not need or want me?”

That was a double-headed question if Bakugou ever heard one. He looked at your glossy lips, the way they were pouted, so ready to be kissed, to be claimed, and that delirious look of want and need in your eyes. And he knows better; he knows that this is not the place, not the time to act on emotions like this. The need to pee sits heavily on his lower belly, just like the need to cum makes him twitch and pace uncomfortably. God fucking damn his broken to smithereens arms.

But you already know this, of course, you do. But you also know how stubborn he can be, how anal he can be about the littlest thing. So with no answer, you weaken your grip, making him think that you’re ready to leave, and he falls right into the trap.

“Make it fucking q-quick,” his voice cracks, the embarrassment nearly tangible as you nod your head firmly, your fist tightening around his cock.

Your warm fingers pressed onto his length, beginning at a slow leisurely pace, your eyes glued onto his face, detailing how he reacts to every small flick of your wrist, every little difference of grip in his hands. Your strokes began to grow larger, your fingertips tracing the bulging veins on his cock, your eyes hypnotized by the way his face pinches in his pleasure, the blush on his cheeks, the way the hot pants expelling from his mouth curl warmly in your lower belly.

“Y-You do this with all your shitty patients?” Bakugou growls, but it sounds weak, too blurred and slurred with his increasing pleasure.

Your fingernails drag against the underneath of his cock, tracing the incredibly sensitive skin until he’s slowly thrusting his hips into your fist. “Only the hot ones,” you tease, your thumb pressing against the tip of his beading tip, the warm pre-cum slick and spreading quickly against his flushed tip.

“You’re fucking disgusting,” Bakugou continues, his head tipping backward, exposing the slenderness of his neck that begs for your teeth to sink into. “Just needed to take a fucking piss.”

“Nervous, you’ll pee all over me, and I won’t want to suck your dick?” you ask, your fingers brushing near his scrotum, eyes blazing dangerously at the sight of his gasping, jaw-dropping face. His hips rut forward, leaking cock dripping with his pre-cum, and you giggle softly, fisting him faster, spreading the pre-cum against his heated sex.

Your fingers run against his throbbing length, your palm tight and hot against his cock, the veins you drag across searing against your flesh, ingraining itself onto your skin and memory forever. Despite it all, the obvious near tangible horror Bakugou has on the thought of pissing on you, he continues to fuck into your fist. 

“Damn bitch like you would probably l-like it if I pissed on you,” Bakugou pants, his casted arms twitching at his chest. His head tilted away from you, but his eyes burning into you, the red eyes hot as fire against your skin. “You want me to piss on you? Make you my bitch.”

The words burn against your skin, your teeth biting onto your lower lip as you meet his gaze. You’ve never considered it before, never thought you’d be into it. As a nurse, you’ve been around piss, shit, and vomit, and while you had grown unfazed by it, you never considered the prospect of a man pissing on you. But you thought of it, of Bakugou standing above you, free from his casts, hands on his cock as he smirks down at you with golden liquid spraying from his cock, soaking you where you lay. 

You shudder, pleasant chills running down your spine as you stare into his eyes yet again. 

“And if I do?” you ask, fingers rolling the head of his cock between your forefinger and thumb, relishing in the way that he snarls low in his throat. “What’re you gonna do about that, Ground Zero-san? You gonna piss all over your bitch after you get out of here.”

“You want me to piss on you here?” he asks, his voice snappish, strained, his hips drilling harder into your hand that was quickly speeding up. A battle of power and speed between the both of you as he looms over you, face flushed, pink, and lips demanding to be kissed. “Wouldn’t be surprised if you do.”

“Why’s that?” you breathe, his lips tantalizingly close to yours, a breath away as your hand grips and tightens even more around the base of his cock, causing a pained-pleasured hiss to rip from behind his teeth as he looks at you.

“Don’t act like your shitty ass hasn’t been trying to seduce me every time I show up,” Bakugou gruffs, his hips continuing a drilling rhythm into your fist, his body no longer shy or embarrassed.

“So you noticed but never said anything?” you counter, your fingers shifting over to his swollen, hot balls. You fondle them, tugging at their weight gently, taking in the way his eyes roll to the back of his head and the way his teeth tear into his lip. “Coward.”

“Hah?! Who the fuck—”

You can’t help yourself anymore, your mouth coming to slam against his in a piercing, searing kiss. He moans into the kiss, and you gasp back, tongues clashing together, teeth knocking into each other as awkward, nearing uncomfortable kisses are exchanged. His sweet scent of caramel wafts into your nose, and his grunts and groans are addicting, entirely enthusiastic noises that send your own thighs clenching shut to quiet the heated need in between your thighs.

Your hand increases in its speed, his whines and groans so pretty and piercing into you. 

“How fucking gross,” you laugh into his mouth, the slicked heat of his precum lathering your palm until soft noises of your fisting hand begin to fill the sterile bathroom. “You’re a child, wanting to piss on things that you shouldn’t. You came to the bathroom and got a hard-on instead of pissing, Bakugou, aren’t you embarrassed.”

“Y-Y/l/n,” he hissed, his jaw falling slack against your mouth. His hips are drilling into you faster and faster, the throbbing of his cock, the growing, thick scent of his caramel sweat filling the room and your senses. “F-Fuck!”

“Such a dirty, childish pro hero,” you smile your tongue curling into his mouth and dragging against the roof of his mouth as he shudders helplessly against you. “Cum already, Bakugou, cum and piss over yourself like some small brat.”

He shudders, and you find your mouth leaving his own as you stare down, spurting white ropes of cum pour from his tip, completely covering the toilet seat with his sticky white cum. And you watch as soon as his body collapses onto you, entirely spent from the orgasm, yellow piss streaming from his tip.

The toilet fills with his cum and piss, and you grin once his balls and bladder are completely drained. His cock limp and weak in your hand as you hum, your quirk activating and causing the exhausted Pro Hero to recompose himself so that he wasn’t entirely weak against you. 

“Such a good patient,” you coo, pulling up Bakugou’s boxers and hospital pants without a second's thought. Patting his butt gently, you watched as his still exhausted red eyes stared at you. You walked over to the sink, washing your hands so that you could continue to finish the rest of your shift.

“Don’t think this is over, shitty nurse.”

You look at him over your shoulder, your fingers curling under the warm water as you grin.

“I expect to be fucked and pissed on next time,” you counter, your smirk devastating and sending a fire right back to Bakugou’s groin. “No freebies anymore.”

[levisgirll]

hi mina! i'm back again to make a request for you because you write so wonderfully i can't-! it's okay if you don't want to write it tho :D

may i ask for some prince jean headcanons/scenario? maybe something like the reader is his maid or modist, and he's kinda in love :D (this is just an idea, feel free to modify, i trust in your magical writing skills!)

sorry for this messy request and thanks! take breaks and care sweetie <3

𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐲 (𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐊𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐔)

text: omg HII ANTI <3 I’m glad ur back with another request and I would happily write this for you cutie c; thank you for also finding my work nice ahh this really makes me happy that someone out there likes my writing and ideas djkjsk 🥺❤️❤️ okay but this is such a cute idea- its my first time writing a royal au so i hope it turned out okay and u liked it :,) make sure to also take care of yourself too bae 😌✨ okay I decided to make the reader a strong willed bodyguard instead of a maid cause I had some ideas for that instead so I hope that's alright 😭

synopsis: y/n has started to work for the kirstein royal family and due to their many great skills, abilities, attention to detail, and great self defense training, y/n was hired and trusted to be prince jean’s personal bodyguard! They have always admired prince jean and how handsome he is, later did they know not only y/n is developing feelings for jean but so does he, and he falls in love with y/n instantly! Although, something happens along the way....

fluff, lil bit mention of blood/knife, royal au ♡ —

Erwin has hired you to join the Kirstein royal family army, after two years training to be a solider to defend the country against the Jaegerists which were a rebel faction that wanted Eren to be the next king instead and to create a ‘New Jaeger Empire’. Also, wanting to protect the prince, which was one of your goals. You really admired prince Jean of how affectionate, kind, honest, and straightforward he is, you wanted to stay and be loyal to him.

Everything changes though when you graduated from the military training with your friends Connie and Sasha. Erwin had suddenly made you prince Jean’s personal bodyguard. “With your great skills y/n, and how loyal and strong you are, I think you will be a perfect choice to have the role as his personal bodyguard!”

You stood there, shocked, and your eyes were wide open. “M-Me Commander?....Of course! I would be honored to!” You will finally see jean, and be by his side! The thought of that would make your cheeks go red...it’s cause you are loyal to him right?

Erwin escorted you and took you to Prince jean who you spotted was sitting on the dinner table hall. “Erwin...! Huh? Who’s that?” Jean was quick to notice your presence, and he was quite taken aback with your presence.

“Your new personal bodyguard Prince Jean. With how bad the situation is going, you never know who will come and attack you. So, Y/N here is going to be by your side and make sure they protect you. If you also ever need anything, you can ask Y/N.” Erwin patted on your back and you went forward and saluted to Jean. “A-At your service Prince Jean!”

“O-Oh...alright then, whatever.” He got up and walked past you both, leaving the dinning hall, you could have sworn you saw his cheeks went a bit red. “He is usually like this at the beginning, but he seems to like you!”

As the days passed, you and Prince Jean actually got along pretty well which made your bond stronger. He seemed to be the kind of person who wouldn't care from the outside, but you realized he cared about everyone and when it came to you...he would always ask if you are doing well. Things seemed to be fine at the moment, for now.

“Young master! You have a meeting with the chairman at Trost District soon.” You said as you were next to Jean, catching up with his pace. “Okay, let's get going then!” He gave you a grin which made you blush, as the both of you approached the carriage, he went ahead and opened the door for you! “Well, are you getting in or not?” You felt all eyes on you, and heard some gasps. ‘It should be the other way around!’ you thought as you got inside while feeling so embarrassed.

You were both alone sitting down in the carriage and you could feel Jean’s eyes all over you, “Young mas-” you were stunned when he held your hands and you looked at his eyes that was searching your gaze. “Don't call me that when we are alone....Didn’t I tell you that?” You couldn't hold it, you were a blushing mess now!

“Okay...J-Jean, why did you do that? People will get the wrong idea..” Lately, Jean has been very affectionate towards you, although you had to admit you had a crush on him, but you could never say that to him.

“So? Y/N...I don't care what others think about us, I care about what you think instead.” He started to caress your hands while still looking at your eyes, “M-Me?” He nodded, waiting for your answer but you pushed away gently and looked away. “Well, it’s my duty...to protect you and serve you.” You tried to change the subject while still looking outside the window, but....you noticed something off? Where is this carriage heading too?

“No! Y/N that’s not it...I meant I...” He came closer to you, too close to your face while he was blushing madly, you touched his chest to try and push him back a bit, and you felt his heart beat like crazy. Is he...nervous?

“Jean. Not now I-” As you tried to finish what you were trying to say, the carriage stopped suddenly which made you and Jean fall. “What the hell?” He yelled out and looked at you immediately, full of concern. “Are you okay?”

“Young master stay inside!” Before he could stop you, you open the carriage door and stepped out, while shutting it tight. You brought your sword out and examined the area and situation. ‘The carriage man is gone...we are in the woods...and I sense someone, but who?!’

“Come out, whoever you are...or perhaps you are a Jaegerist?” As soon as you said that, a sword was seen to be thrown out at you and you quickly stopped it by slashing it to hit on the other direction with your long strong sword.

“Hmph, you seem to be smart.” You head turned quick to the direction where you heard the voice. You saw a middle aged man with a tousled auburn hair “And? Who the fuck is asking?” You pointed your sword at him with a stoic expression, showing him no fear. “It’s Floch, and if you could do me a favor how about you just leave and let me deal with the Prince okay?”

You let out a chuckle, then gave him a death glare. “Make me.”

“Fuck, you are stubborn, let me just finish you off!! Don't you get it? This crappy prince doesn't deserve to be the next king to rule us!! It should be Eren!” He yelled out and brought out a knife and charged at you, you put your sword away and decide to do hand-to-hand combat on him. You took your stance and when he was near you, Y/N pushed the knife down and then quickly did the grappling technique, which took him down completely.

“Young Master! Call the headquarters for backup, we were tricked and put in a trap!” You said as you were trying to hold on to Floch, not letting him escape. “O-On it!”

“It’s quiet....too quiet no way this guy came alon-” You looked up and you saw someone charging at you with their sword, she was fast and you quickly got up and brought your sword to stop her attack for defense.

‘F-Fuck...that was close.’ You backed away and looked at the carriage, ‘He needs to be safe...’  you wondered and started to worry.

“About fucking time Mikasa!” Floch shouted out as he rubbed his hands which you held on tightly earlier. “Wait...I know you! Ackerman right? It's a privilege to meet you.” Mikasa Ackerman, she was one of the Ackerman that stood behind and did not serve the Kirstein royal family, but instead stood by Eren’s side and believed in him.

“And your Y/N, the strong bodyguard. Please step aside.” She sounded very serious and looked strong. The rumors were true, she did neglect the royal family and went with the Jaegerists rebel group.

‘Ha...who would have known this mission would be a complete disaster!’ You thought and as you were preparing to attack, until Jean came out of the carriage with his sword and pointed at them. “Don't Hurt Y/N!!”

Your eyes widened as you turned your head to look at him. “Young Master! What the hell are you doing? Don’t come out and run away!”

“B-But...” Jean stuttered and looked at you, he did not want to leave you behind and run like a coward, leaving behind....the most important person to him that he cared about the most. “No! I promised to protect you, so ru-” Being distracted by Jean, everything now seem to have stopped for you and there was a pitch silence. You looked in front of you and felt what seemed like a dagger stabbed towards your side waist, blood was dripping and the one who stabbed you was Floch!

“Floch...! Why?! That was not part of the plan!” Mikasa yelled out, and what seemed to be shocked by his action. Everything was going too quickly for you, you placed your hand on his shoulder and shoved him away which made him fall back. You gripped your waist and yelled out, “I-If it’s meant to protect the Prince...Then come at me!”

You heard lot’s of horses approaching and you finally spotted Erwin’s squad who finally came for backup. You noticed Levi by Erwin’s side and as soon as he saw you bleeding, he got provoked and got off from his horse and charged at Mikasa. “An Ackerman with an Ackerman, Hm? Traitor, let me deal with you.”

You let out a sigh, now knowing the Prince is safe and Levi and Erwin’s squad was here to help you guys out. Jean ran towards you and held on to you as you fell down on your knees “Y-Y/N!!”

“Why....Why didn’t you run away?” You said softly and trying to stay conscious, Jean quickly placed his hand on your cheek while the other arm was used to hold your body, “Cause I care about you Damnit!”

You gave him a weak smile and held on his hand that was placed on your cheek, “Did I do...my best to serve you?” Was all you could say and you slowly passed out due to the blood loss you had and you heard Jean's voice drifted slowly.

After a couple of hours have passed, you woke up what seemed to be in a hospital, and you were wrapped around bandages. You moved a bit which made you wince at the pain from your side abdomen.

“Don’t move around! You are still injured and you haven’t healed yet.” A girl with long beautiful blonde hair said, full of concern in her tone as she came closer to you and checked up on you. Her large blue eyes were examining your injury to see if the wound was closed up. “A-And you are?”

“I’m Historia! A nurse who is looking after you. Doctor Hanji told me to stay by your side until you wake up.” She said with a big smile and she looked like an angel to you.

“W-Where is the Prince! Is he okay?!” You said all worried and started to panic. “Haha, Don't worry! He is fine, thanks to you protecting him! He told me to notify him when you wake up but I think you need to rest a bit longer.”

You let out a sigh, ‘At least he is fine...but I want to see him.’ You wondered and looked outside the window to let your thoughts run around your mind as you slowly closed your eyes to rest.

“Y/N...Hey Y/N wake up.” You felt a rub against your shoulders and you opened your eyes to see Prince Jean looking down at you with a relief escaping his mouth. “I’m glad you are looking fine, but are you doing okay?”

You slowly got up which Jean held on your arm for support, “Y-Yea, thanks for stopping by...Jean.” You were blushing at how he suddenly started to caress your arm, then up your shoulders. He went in closer and gave you a tight hug around your shoulders. “Damn it! I thought I was gonna lose you today, that’s it...I'm not backing away with this anymore.” He pulled back, and was looking at your face. “J-Jean...What do you mea-”

“Y/N, I love you. I loved you ever since I first saw you coming and you were always by my side, but in a way that made me feel calm, good and I felt your warmth all the time it would make me fall for you even more everyday...Being with you feels right to me!” He stopped talking and looked away, he was clearly embarrassed on what he just said, the prince was confessing to you and he was finally saying that he was falling in love with you!

You were shocked, was he actually saying this all? Was the Prince actually confessing to you? You couldn't help yourself but smile to what he said and you finally held his hands, “I...I feel the same way too!” You let out now a big smile and tears started to form on your eyes, you felt so happy and so did he.

He looked behind to make sure the door was closed and then looked back at you who was now approaching your face closely and he started to give you a passionate kiss, you held on his hands while he was holding your face, lifting it up and he kept on kissing you. The night had a nice cold breeze and the window was slightly open which made the wind come in and that made your hair flow slowly as you both continued to kiss slowly and gently.

Jean pulled back and you both were breathing heavily, by the looks of it, you could tell you were Jean’s first kiss. He wanted to kiss you again and again, “I’m now love sick cause of you.”

The night went out so peacefully and you both enjoyed each others company while holding hands and caressing each others cheeks when talking about various topics and he went on explaining how brave and strong you were today when you stood up and fought against Floch and Mikasa. He found your confidence very attractive. He felt like a lucky man to have you by his side and he promised you that after he becomes king he would make you his.

𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 : Usually in the evenings, he would sneak into your place because he begged that he wanted to see you and stay at your place for a couple of hours to cuddle and kiss you. It was his favorite place in the world cause it was just y/n and him, alone. “Okay Jean, you have to go now!” You said blushing at how clingy Jean was towards you, hugging your waist. “Please just another 5 minutes babe, besides come on it’s just you and me tonight.” Jean would say playfully while he would give you a soft kiss on your scar that was on your waist ♥

okay but this was a really fun royal au I wrote up and I'm kinda glad how the first time I'm writing it went well! thanks anti for the request again and I hope you liked it <3 and if anyone else did please then leave a like or a reblog! it would mean a lot c:

[sakurology]

I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?

Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺

NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke

Nsfw below da cut g

gn!reader focus in this hoe

A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious

He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y

He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.

Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.

Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith @tsumue @disasteren @hoe4abbacchio @sillykittt @ukaisbaby

[my-terrible-life]

I wanted to say some things about the Arabic used in Community.

I'm not sure what the point the point of this post is but I just wanted to get the thoughts out of my head because they've been there ever since I first watched Community like a million years ago and found out one of the main characters is half Arab.

Long post I'm sorry!!

So in Community Abed is Polish Palestinian. My very first thoughts on this, so long ago, was huh what an unusual name! Because it is. Abed is not a common Arab name at all, it's pretty weird actually. The name itself means "Worshipper" which I guess should fit in with the ~theme~ of Arab Muslim names but it doesn't because in Arabic it sounds incomplete.

Boys names that follow the "theme" of Worship tend to be 2-parters, the Worship part and then the What part. What is he worshipping? God obviously, but God in Islam has many names and many descriptions, so the trend is 'pick one of the names/descriptors and put it right after the word that means worship' so we end up with names like Abdullah (for example). Abdullah in Arabic is a 2 word name, it is Abd then Allah, combined it means worshipper of Allah. We can have a name like Abdulrahman, which is a 2 word name that is Abd then Al Rahman, which combined means worshipper of the most merciful. The list can go on and on and they all mostly follow that pattern: Abd + God's name. That's the convention and that's what male Arabic Muslim names have followed for hundreds of years. So Abed alone is pretty odd, but not impossible I guess.

Now the writers could have consulted with an Arab at any point, there's Arabs literally everywhere in America, but okay it was during the time when casual racism was still something the audience didn't know we could be very vocal about, or that's how I think about it anyway.

Danny Pudi himself is not Arab so I don't think he could have accurately weighed in on this but again I don't know what it was like working as a brown actor on US television at the time. (We'll get back to Danny Pudi later)

Nevertheless, the initial oddness of Abed's name aside, I grew used to it and grew to really like the character. He's one of my 3 favorites ❤ and I don't have to repeat why he's awesome and how his stories are not stereotypes etc etc.

But the eps were his Arabic heritage and language come up were beefed. Hard.

You can split Arabic up into 2 umbrellas I guess: Standard Arabic called Fus'ha, and the common tongue or dialect of the specific Arab country you're in/writing about.

Most of us know and understand Standard Arabic because it's taught in schools and it is the language of the Qur'an so we learn it. It's also the language used for subtitles in film and TV, as well as any formal/official document, and when presidents give speeches in foreign countries so the instant translators can do their jobs without having to learn more than 1 Arabic dialect.

But here's a very big point guys... no one Speaks in Standard Arabic. As beautiful and flowery and vast as it can be we just don't use it like That.

Think of it like your everyday English you speak vs. Shakespearian English. No one talks like that unless they're on stage or they're trying to be funny.

So, it was very obvious when Abed and his Dad were talking that they put the script into Google translate and just went with that. They could have asked an Arab 🤦‍♀️ any Arab! There's so many of us everywhere just grab one off the street like a madman and ask 'em, they'll tell you. We Love correcting wrong Arabic 😂

Anyway, they had Abed speak in Standard Arabic.... cringe kingdom thanks... but Abed is Palestinian, which means his dialog should have been in Palestinian Arabic and that's hella different. (Now I'm personally Egyptian and while I would be able to understand Palestinian very well I would not be able to re-write his lines to reflect the dialect accurately, so I won't)

Of course their pronunciation was incredibly off as neither actor who play Abed or Gubi (weird name) are Arabs or speak Arabic. It just made me cringe so hard.

Now let's briefly talk about those yellow subtitles Community used for Abed and his Dad in that episode where they're fighting about Abed taking film classes... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ yeah, not pretty, not only did just use Google translate, it was also unedited. I remember back then Google translate was still being filled up with vocabulary and different possible translations so for Arabic sometimes we'd get a very literal translation that made a whole sentence wrong. And boy did they mess that up!

The line was "The wrong person just left" and the translation was "الشخص الخطأ يسار" which is literally "the wrong person left", well what's wrong with that? Oh just that they used Left as in the direction.... the wrong person LEFT (direcrion) as in ur left hand as in let's go left instead of right 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ never mind that the entire phrase would not be translated that way to begin with but that they couldn't even bother to just double check their translation

Oh you guys know who sounded like they actually knew Arabic??? Abra! Her pronunciation was correct. Even if her lines were still in Standard Arabic her pronunciation and delivery showed she knew Arabic. (Another note on the name... I don't know what the hell Abra is, that's not an Arabic name I'm sorry) (neither is Gubi)

The last thing I wanna mention is from the Christmas ep, where Jeff gets in a fight, and Abed comes to their gathering with a dish from his culture, and he says "It's a traditional Muslim dish".....okay, Danny Pudi is not Arabic okay but he is Muslim and he should know there is no such thing as a Muslim dish, but fine okay maybe he couldn't say anything whatever who cares...

There is no such thing as a Muslim dish, or Muslim food. Or even Arab food, that doesn't exist... it should have been "it's a traditional Palestinian dish".

The Arab World is 22 countries, each very different from each other in culture, customs, food, language, whatever you can think of. We have similarities, we understand each other, we have a shitton of shared history but we are not a monolith.

Back to the Language aspect

Arabic is hard, Standard or otherwise, but especially Standard. The sounds you'd need to be able to make Arabic happen have to be trained into your mouth and throat, and it takes a long time. (I was lucky to grow up with it, not knowing the struggle, and major respect to those who want and try to learn it, whatever variation of it)

I was just spewing my frustrations here about a couple scenes and I'm glad there weren't any more tbh.

but I do hope this helps anyone who was curious about Abed's language.

Anyone writing about Abed or characters like Abed, I hope this can give a hint into what to research.

Also it's not pronounced Nadeer (with the emphasis on the second part) it's Naader (with emphasis on the first part)

Thanks for reading through this!

[tsukishumai]

May I request 30 from fluff with Hinata? 💕💕 I love him soo much🥺

I, too, love Hinata so much :( ty for the request, bb!

Send me a prompt + ur fav character here :)

30. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.

Word count: 800+

A/N: I hope u like it, anon! 🥺

You were lounging around on the couch in your living room, enjoying a rare day off and attempting to catch up on some much needed rest, when you hear the incessant buzzing of your phone from somewhere in your apartment.

You pat your hands along your blanket, grumbling a little when you were unable to find your phone. You look around for the small device, wondering where the hell you had left it when you spotted it vibrating along the kitchen counter. Quickly, you threw the blanket off your legs, wincing a little at the sudden cold as you ran over to answer the call before you missed it.

“Hello?” You answered without checking who was ringing you.

It took a moment for the call to connect, the silence on the other end abruptly shifting into loud chatter and thumping music in between crinkling static.

“Hello?” You say one more time.

“Y/N?”

Your name came out slightly muffled, but your heart skipped a beat at the voice calling out your name.

“Shoyo?”

“Yaaayy, you answered,” he slurred into the receiver, “I was worried you’d be asleep.”

“Shoyo, it’s,” you pull back your phone to check the time, “three in the afternoon here. Why would I be asleep?”

“Aw, man,” he groaned out, and you could already imagine the way he must be stomping his foot in the ground, “I forgot you were in Japan.”

You giggled at his comment, extremely amused at the drunken call you were getting in the middle of the day. You did a little mental calculation; it must be about 3 am in Brazil.

“What’s up? Why’d you call?” You were grinning as you spoke, making your way back to your spot on the couch.

“Can’t I just call my best friend?! Maybe I missed you or something,” He whined, and you ignore the way your heart fluttered, hearing a crowd in the background chanting ‘shots, shots, shots!’. You stay silent as you hear Hinata cheer back something in Portuguese, your face practically cringing as you listen to him gulp down whatever liquid was handed to him.

“Sounds like you’re having fun,” you commented, imagining what it would be like to be in Brazil, standing next to him and raising a shot glass in celebration.

“Izz Heitor’s birthday,” Hinata managed to buzz out, and the background music began to fade away as Hinata made his way out of the crowded bar. “Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing, really,” you say, grabbing the remote from the table and absentmindedly flipping through the movies on Netflix, “It’s my day off, so I’m just chilling at home.”

Hinata sighed out wistfully, “Man, wish I waz there.”

You scoffed a little. “What do you mean? You’re out partying in Brazil. That’s way better than being stuck at home with me. “

“Sayz who?” Hinata retorted, “I’ll fight them.”

You laughed at his response, grabbing a pillow from the other end of the couch and holding it against your chest, “Well, for what it’s worth, maybe i missed you too... or something.”

At this, Hinata chuckled, letting out a low hum and you visualize him closing his eyes. “Want you in Brazil instead of Japan. S’not the same. People are different here. S‘different here.”

You smile sadly, fiddling with the corners of the pillow, biting your lip as you responded, “There are lots of nice people in Brazil. Maybe you’d find them if you weren’t outside, talking to me.”

“I’ve met lotsa people,” he defended himself, “I got friends! Pedro finally started talking to me!”

You snicker, recalling all the times Hinata had complained about his aloof roommate. “Well congrats! You got friends! Why don’t you go find yourself a girlfriend?”

“Huh?!” Hinata sounded extremely offended, “Why would I do that?”

“Why not?” You question, twisting the corners of your blanket into knots, “Don’t you wanna find love in Brazil?”

“Pfft, what do you mean?” Hinata was barely comprehensible at this point, but you still heard every word clearly, “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. I already found love, itzzin Japan. Duh.”

You stayed silent, goosebumps raising all along the expanse of your skin as you listened to Hinata chortle like he just said the funniest joke.

“Love in Brazil,” Hinata repeated, breathing out a final chuckle, “You saythe funniest things, Y/N-chan.”

It was funny, really. You had so many chances to confess to him before he left for Brazil, but something always held you back. With Hinata on track to leave the country, you figured there was no point in pursuing a person you would never be able to catch up to. He had created such amazing opportunities for himself, and you couldn’t help but feel you would only ever weigh him down.

But now, at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon, Hinata Shoyo called from a foreign country, and drunkenly told you all the things you’ve ever wanted to say to him.

“I love you, too, you know.”

And even from 10,000 miles away, he was still the one giving you courage.

“You better tell me that again when I get back,” Hinata threatened, and you bursted out laughing.

“I will.”