#it’s that one cat meme if y’all can’t tell | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amazingmsme · 7 months

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We absolutely want your version of events please and thank you

Thank you, y’all never fail to enable me, I love it

Warnings for mildly disturbing content, but if you saw Hey, Melissa you already know what you’re in for. & if not, then I guess warnings for kidnapping, torture, dub-con, & pet play (yeah this is one of the weirder nightmare time episodes)

So yeah, just so y’all know what you’re getting into

So when Melissa sees that Paul’s not really interested in her, she sets her sights on an easier target: Ted. She plays along with his flirting & invites him over with plans of keeping him

He takes her to dinner & while he’s in the bathroom, she drugs him to make things easier on herself. She strips him like we see in the episode & I feel like for the first time that he wakes up, he’s just tied up with a leash instead of in the cage. At first he thinks this is just some very kinky & abrupt foreplay, but the way she’s talking so sternly & seriously lets him know that it’s more serious than he thought. He starts apologizing for everything he’s said & done to her & she just keeps shushing him & telling him to “stop barking”

Replace the taser with a shock collar to keep him in line. & instead of, um, that fucked up shit she did to his fingers, she took a sharpie or some paint & drew on the paw beans. She was especially cruel when she got to his feet, ignoring his begging & cooing at him like the “cute puppy he is” & just kept asking if he had ticklish paws

If she catches him walking around, trying to use his hands, or other “human stuff” she uses the shock collar

From there, it’s a lot of the same stuff with keeping him locked up & feeding him dog food

Melissa finally manages to trick Paul into coming over & she manages to knock him out & put a collar on him & everything. Paul still remembers that she likes cats & meows trying to be set free, but really it doesn’t change too much. He still gets the bean treatment because this version isn’t painful. Since he’s a cat, I feel like she’d also draw whiskers

It took a few days for Ted to find where she hid his phone, but he had a ton of missed calls & texts from Peter asking where the fuck he is & he’s already got a missing person case for him (not that they give a shit, this is Hatchetfield, people go missing every day!) but he calls him & tries to explain what happened. Peter is freaking out & says he’s gonna call the police & Ted tells him not to because then it’ll end up in the papers & all over the news & “he’d rather be dead in some chick’s apartment than the laughing stalk of Hatchetfield” & says he’ll make it out on his own “when the time is right” whatever the hell that means

Peter is worrying himself to death & his friends are just laughing it up making jokes & memes at every opportunity

It’s all fun & games until Richie’s uncle goes missing SHUT UP GUYS IT’S NOT FUNNY!

Melissa still invites her friends over to play with her new “pets” & this time they tie them up to make sure they can’t get away (they have plans & they know they’ll get too squirmy)

& yeah Ted’s Ted so he kinda wants to see where this is going because hey, this many girls have never wanted him at once! But on the other hand paw, Melissa is fucking crazy & he wants to escape with Paul, he just wants these girls to have some fun first

The girls are so fucking teasy it’s unreal, & they brought some tools to help them like those fluffy cat toys, (keeping with the theme I see) makeup brushes, feathers, electric toothbrushes, etc. to keep the fun going!

It starts out slow & simple enough with the girls cooing & stroking them. Paul is scrunching up & trying hard not to giggle, but Ted doesn’t have the same luck because of course where do they fucking go first? His belly

Ted holds out for as long as he can, but their touches are light & they have long nails & it’s just so much harder than it looks! & once they get one laughing the others wanna hear Paul break down & they get him to crack when they bring out the feathers

When Paul giggles they’re like “awww listen to the kitty purr!” & while they tickle Ted’s stomach & he undoubtedly thrashes around, they tease him like he’s a dog shaking his leg & just ask repeatedly “aww you poor thing, does that tickle? Did we find your tickle spot?”

They play around with the different tools they brought & all the while just baby them like they’re cute little sensitive pets. & trust me, they take their time & they make sure to make their teases as flustering as possible. Melissa even has “muzzles” gags for when they get “too loud”

The girls eventually get bored & watch a movie or something & end up falling asleep. In their earlier excitement, Melissa didn’t latch the ton of locks on the front door, & they managed to escape

When they finally get back to work, they’re both SO jumpy around Melissa is hilarious. & they’re both trying to warn Bill & he doesn’t believe them at all because she just seems like such a sweet, normal, innocent girl!

& like I said, I’m a paulkins truther, so in my version Paul doesn’t come crawling back to be her poor little meow meow. Ted might tho, he’s gotta think it over first

#asks #anon ask #nightmare time headcanons #tgwdlm headcanons #hatchetfield headcanon #melissa #ted spankoffski #paul matthews #nightmare time #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

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fryingpan1234567 · 2 years

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That Hermitcraft hero AU list I promised

yeah. here you go (:

edit: no art for y’all lol if you saw the original post congrats, but if you happened to have aphantasia or are just not good at visualizing, sorry! no art, it doesn’t go over well lmao

happy reading!

Impulse: SV

powers: electricity + thunder

info: he’s really good with press lol he usually goes on missions with kids because they all love him- during the day, the iDimpy factory ‘bought’ the Hermit Compound and ‘converted it to a chocolate factory’ and Impulse runs it lol (dw it’s still for superheroes, the bottom couple levels were just edited a bit HE MAKES REALLY GOOD CANDY)

appearance: MR. IMPULSE AS WILLY WONKA MY BELOVED (his super suit is metal like Iron Man and has a glowing yellow i in the middle)

Zed: Worm Man

powers: sheep [: (NO HIS NAME DOESN’T MAKE SENSE IT’S FOR THE MEME)

info: fs a mad scientist- he teaches middle school science during the day XD

appearance: blond, blue eyes, ram horns that he tells his students is just a headband, lab coat + goggles even when not in the lab lol- his super suit is just. Worm Man. you know

Tango: Blaze

powers: fire + can change back and forth between super form and civilian

info: he’s super funny lol

appearance: yellow hair that looks like fire (it is actually on fire in super form), red eyes, sharp teeth in super form, if you’ve seen @lunarcrown ‘s Tango art that’s the fit style I’m thinking for the super suit

Keralis: Cyclopes

powers: siren Keralis my beloved

info: he loves kids but has kind of a spooky look to him- don’t worry, they warm up to him eventually and even call him Papa K!!

appearance: larger than average eyes but is otherwise basically normal lol his super fit is just like Aquaman style yk lots of scales

Bdubs: Apollo

powers: photokinesis

info: shreepy boi, moss hoodie, short (don’t tell him)

appearance: floofy brown hair held back w/ a red bandana, Latino, super fit is just a Greek chiton lol (he’s glowing bright enough you can’t even see him most of the time)

Ren: Red King

powers: werewolf

info: he can control which form and how he acts in said forms pretty much always- scary wolf hulk for bad guys and fluffy puppy for kids

appearance: in human form he has ears and a tail :DD

• Doc: 77

powers: let’s imagine a cross between the Hulk, the Winter Soldier, and a creeper

info: he is very good at fighting (: he’s cyborg and has green in super form

appearance: literally like seven feet tall

Scar: the Wizard

powers: telekinesis, magic

info: he is actually disabled, he just uses telekinesis to walk around as a super lol (HE HAS A MASSIVE MAGIC CAT THAT HE DISGUISES AS A NORMAL ONE DURING THE DAY)

appearance: covered in scars (obvi), bright green eyes, suit is Hot Guy fit

Cub: Bear

powers: Vex wings, skulk

info: he’s very friendly, but his super state is, uh… possessed. by the Deep Dark. I’m sure it’s fine

appearance: dark curly hair, galaxy eyes in super form but otherwise normal blue, super fit is just him covered in skulk- I’m thinking Venom vibes (SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS CONCEPT)

Grian: Evo

powers: BIGASS PARROT WINGS (and advanced sight)

info: pesky bird boy lmao he does the Jurassic Park claw tap thing when he’s hunting + on stealth missions

appearance: yeah he’s got bird feet lol he doesn’t leave the compound very much bc he can’t really disguise or lie about that

Pearl: Moth

powers: moth wings + antennae

info: she is in fact an alien but it’s okay she’s very nice unless she’s hunting with her dogs

appearance: again wings and antennae, brown hair with lighter streaks, purple eyes, super fit is like Storm/ Starfire

Gem: Dawn

powers: fire but in sunset yellow/ orange/ red/ purple colors lol

info: she’s actually descended from Gaelic royalty lmao

appearance: deer horns, orange hair which in super form turns to a fire ombré like Starfire, suit has pink honeycomb patterns

• Cleo: Medusa

powers: necromancy and turning people to stone (:

info: she died in Ancient Greece and rose as a zombie after Hades, who fell in love with her, granted her “life”. she is immortal

appearance: a zombie lol (but a hot one I promise you) with orange snakes for hair

Stress: Monster

powers: flower queennn

info: she doesn’t like dark/ stealth missions as much, but she’s all for patrol whenever

appearance: always has a flower crown for some reason?? eyes glow pink when she uses her powers and the suit is like that one fanart of Isabella from Encanto as Spider-Man

Iskall: Doom

powers: lmao they’re just a cyborg

info: a very nice person, they just can’t seem to say hello correctly

appearance: brown hair, cyber eye, tol, they pretty much wear the suit everywhere and tells people it’s cosplay and they’re their own biggest fan

Etho: Kitsune

powers: snow/ ice/ illusion mist

info: he may have accidentally adopted the New York Governer lmao whoops (he hates kids except for this one)

appearance: white hair, mask to cover scars, one red eye damaged by redstone, really tall, white fox ears and nine tails in super form

xB: Crafted

powers: Black Widow style with a big white wolf (he and Jellie get along I promise)

info: we love him but he’s an antisocial dork

appearance: black hair, blue eyes, literally just. a guy. he’s a guy. he wears fins behind his ears so people think he’s more dangerous lol

Hypno: Memorizd

powers: memory wipe + telepathy

info: he’s the main one who deals with civilians lol especially if they saw something they weren’t supposed to

appearance: aaaalways wears the black bandana over their hair, tol, emo /j- the suit is like a ninja

Wels: the Knight

powers: lmao he’s a knight idk what to tell you

info: he’s a knight with standard knight principles, but he’s chill about it. he likes theater but makes fun of the fact that he likes theater lol

appearance: blond, blue eyes, tol, he fights in a modern-looking suit of armor that keeps most of its medieval design

• Jevin: Slimer

powers: slime boi (like Frozone x Honey Lemon but slime yk)

info: he’s in the same boat as Grian- there’s really no disguising being made entirely of slime

appearance: teal slime lol (it runs in the family) supposedly he’s got a way to turn more human-looking but he hasn’t quite figured it out yet

Xisuma: Void

powers: time, space, and interdimensional portals!!

info: he and his twin are the leaders of their own groups, and they’re actually from another dimension and can’t breathe oxygen

appearance: that’s why he always wears a helmet! it’s his bones suit :DD

False

powers: superstrength, but she doesn’t use it very often

info: she’s like the Hermits’ resident suit maker that’s what she does lol

appearance: blonde choppy hair held back with welding goggles, brown eyes, covered in freckles

Mumbo

powers: none unless you count exceptional redstone skills

info: tech guy!! when someone busts something, they go straight to Mumbo

appearance: black hair, mustache (because of course), tol??, suit. always. Mumbo what

Joe

powers: none

info: the medic, because lord knows they need one

appearance: green hair lol

Beef

powers: none, but he’s really good with knives

info: he makes the food and potions, but the Hermits keep telling him not to wear that bloodstained apron around everywhere. it’s suspicious

appearance: again with the apron, and he’s scarily buff. kids are scared of him but he’s very nice really

~~~~~

Impulse had known for a very long time that he wasn’t exactly… normal.

Which isn’t a bad thing! But, the static shock people got when they touched him while he didn’t feel a thing, storms brewing when he had less-than-ideal days, and really mostly the fact that his phone never died when he held it- the charge almost seemed to be going up- all that did not seem ordinary.

So when he was recruited for a hero team because everyone at his school had apparently reported his strangeness, he wasn’t exactly surprised. But he was definitely ready to make a difference.

So Zed was some kind of sheep/ human hybrid. Did that make life a lot more difficult? In some ways, yes, but mostly no.

See, he had really good hearing. And he never had to worry about riding his skateboard, because his balance was always perfect and his skull was uncrackable. Plus he can jump like five feet on solid ground, which is pretty sick.

But people still thought he was weird. They all knew he’d grow up to be a hero… or a villain. So there was always a thin line of separation from the rest of the world, like they wanted to treat him like a fragile thing that could potentially attempt to end the world in the near future.

He would never, of course. But the only place he could really find contentment was with the Hermits.

Tango had discovered his powers in a… less pleasant manner.

Basically all he remembered was yelling. It was scary, he was seven years old, and… something just broke.

Then there was fire.

His parents, as far from that title as they were, did not make it out. Somehow, he managed to escape unscathed. Physically, anyways.

Foster care was pretty lame, but it was better than his old home life. Still, the only people he views as family are his team.

Keralis had loved singing for as long as he could remember. Especially because everyone loved to listen!

His mother had come from the sea, and his father was a fisherman. Keralis liked that his parents were sort of like a fairy tale. His mother taught him how to sing when he was young, but especially to control what he sang. She said he could really hurt people, and while at the time he didn’t know what that meant, he went along with it.

Until one day at a summer camp, they had a screaming contest (they were middle schoolers, don’t question it). Every window in the camp shattered, and six kids had to go home with ruptured eardrums.

He was immediately handed over to the American Hero Monitoring compound. There, he met X and Bdubs, and they didn’t mind his voice. Plus his parents visited on weekends! The only thing he loves more than singing is being a hero.

Bdubs and his brother had learned early on that not everyone likes heroes.

Maybe they shouldn’t have shown people that the two of them could play catch with a ball made of actual light, because they were then immediately accused of witchcraft. Witchcraft, really? Is this the sixteenth century?

Their family was forced to move to New York, and the AHM got ahold of both boys not long after. Because they bragged once, to a bunch of classmates in a small-town school that they’d been going to their entire lives. Bdubs opted to be a hero; show people that he can be good, but Puncenge wasn’t quite ready to forgive them all. He promised he wouldn’t ever use his powers for bad, but when he broke out of the compound with X’s twin, Bdubs didn’t go with.

The rest of the Hermits would probably kill him if they found out he was still in contact with one of America’s biggest supervillains.

There was a famous werewolf cryptid in Britain, and a lot of people were after him.

The original Hermit Initiative Program, with only Keralis, Xisuma, Tango, and Bdubs- well, their first mission was to capture him. Luckily, it wasn’t all that difficult.

See, Ren was not a monster. Most of the time he lived in town and was just… a normal dude. On the days where he was too sore or lazy to put a hat on and hide his tail somewhere inconvenient, he just let people believe he was a furry, because he couldn’t give less of a fuck.

So tracking down a guy with literal wolf ears and a tail wasn’t difficult, especially when he wasn’t doing much to hide. Ren was more than happy to get away from the hunters and to a place where he could just live and be normal.

Doc was the result of several government experiments- none of them good.

When scientists had discovered a new species of what looked like furry green things that walked on three legs and looked sad all the time, they figured whatever it was should be kept hidden from the public.

Especially after one of them blew a crater in the side of a mountain and killed three people.

A recently convicted scientist himself was selected to be, uh… tested on. It was a lot of blood and pain, but hey, that’s not a bad exchange for immortality and infinite explosive material.

Scar lost mobility in his legs thanks to a particularly risky mission in his rookie days- he got every civilian out, but there was definitely a cost.

It’s okay though!! His telekinesis allows him to move freely when he’s super-ing, and he has a big magical cat to keep him company at home. He was more than thrilled when there was an offer extended to him to be a Hermit, although he found it funny that it took them so long to locate him (a disabled person could never be a hero! *cough* Daredevil haters *cough*)

Cub was a scientist who… may have flown a little too close to the sun. See, he wanted powers, and he was successfully able to give himself wings! Unfortunately for him, he was too curious to stop there.

See, he’d found something called skulk deep, deep underground, in a buried city he and his team were excavating. Something big and very, very loud kept killing them whenever they took more than a few steps in, though, so the site was declared off-limits to everyone.

But Cub snuck in by himself, all the way to the center of the city. There was a portal there, and when he stepped through it… well, he either met God or Satan. Either way, now he’s basically Venom but with a much better color scheme, and he can no longer die! The only catch is that he’s a little bit possessed when using his powers, but the Hermits are there to look out for him.

Grian learned how to hunt very quickly and very suddenly, on the day superheroes were made illegal around the world.

Because, well, the best of the best were after him.

A bird boy! And a pesky one at that! Who used to be a hero! Everyone wanted to get their hands on Evo, and unfortunately, Grian was forced into hiding. Not that it was difficult- he had wings and razor sharp talons, so it wasn’t like anyone non-super could really get to him, but that didn’t stop people from trying.

He’s all for staying in the Hermit compound all day. It means he can lay out pranks while all the normal people are at work.

So maybe Pearl was born in Area 51. That didn’t exactly make her an alien. Maybe. Probably.

Listen. She has wings and antennae, plus a big pretty spaceship DNA-encoded to her, but did that mean she wasn’t from Earth? Of course not! There are plenty of weird people there. Plus, her ancestors were worshiped by the people of Sanctuary. It’s like… fine.

She’s happy to be a hero, of course. When she got an in on the most prestigious hero group in America (Australia was totally dominated by some clown who looked like a gingerbread man), she was absolutely all in. Hermits are better than some lazer beam, anyways.

When Gem transitioned, she didn’t think it would come with fire powers. But hey, bonus.

She kept her antlers, but she actually liked that part. Her people didn’t see her as any less of a princess or priestess, if anything they loved her more for bringing that kind of power to their city, Dawn, which she took for her hero alias.

She had two groups she was a part of, actually, plus with the business of being Gaelic royalty to a group of people previously thought to be extinct, she had a full schedule. But she of course wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Cleo lived in Locri, Italy, way back in Ancient Greek times. She loved her patron goddess, Persephone, and didn’t actually mind Hades. She worked in the city’s mausoleum and crypt, so she got used to death pretty quick.

Well, Hades took a particular interest in her. Not that he could do anything, of course, she was a priestess of both him and his wife. But he harbored a crush of sorts all the way through her life.

She did die. She was mortal, after all. But she was so gorgeous, Hades couldn’t bear that loss, so… he granted her eternal ‘life’. She was green and missing a few pieces and was messily sewn together, plus her fiery orange hair had turned to snakes like Medusa’s, but she walked the earth again.

She never died again. She can’t, which makes her the ideal hero, although she won’t hesitate to paralyze you for a comment about her hourglass shape-

Honestly, Stress didn’t even want to be a hero, mostly. She owned a flower shop and she’d gotten there with the help of exactly zero men, and she didn’t have an interest in changing the world or anything.

Only problem- she had superpowers, and they were sort of hard to contain. Whenever she got antsy, cacti started to grow out of her carpet under her feet, and after getting those stupid invisible thorns stuck between her toes one too many times, she decided to get out and do things with her powers.

The Hermits were happy to have her, and she’s happy to report that she and the other girls are almost their own little team within the big group- and they’re fine-tuned to perfection.

Iskall’s modifications were actually their choice. There was an offer by some mysterious guy in a suit to be rich and powerful beyond belief, and since they were sick of living on the street, they took it.

So they ripped an arm and an eye out. Was it worth it? Definitely.

No one makes fun of them anymore, for being NB or anything else, and they did pay them a lot. The only catch was singing onto a government sanctioned hero organization, and they were happy to go with their girlfriend to the Hermits. She slapped them for being an idiot and allowing themself to be experimented on, but she was happy to have them along.

If you don’t know what a Kitsune is, it’s a Japanese mythical creature that has two forms: fox and human (usually female). They’re kind of like sirens, and they’re absolutely stunning, but very manipulative and usually malicious.

Etho picked the name for the fact that he’s like half fox lol not that he’s evil; his ears and nine tails match the color of his hair. He is in fact immortal, but he doesn’t find that out until someone tries to off him and it just… doesn’t work. He can scar and be wounded, yeah, but death can never catch him.

There are a number of ways to become an assassin. Maybe you were raised since you were a kid. Maybe you were drafted by the government to cut back your sentence Suicide Squad-style. xB signed on in high school for extra credit.

Yeah, his history teacher was secretly a hitman, and students could sign a contract of silence to go on missions for extra credit. Sounds sketch, but it wasn’t terrible. He learned how to kill a man in over a hundred ways just with his hands and didn’t have to learn a thing about the Cold War through all of high school.

He decided just killing people was sort of immoral… although mostly that if he got good enough heroes would start to notice him. He figured if he couldn’t outrun them, he’d better join. And it was a good thing he did- he got his car-sized dog because of it.

Hypno was the most popular kid in his school for one reason: he had control over people’s memories. When someone asked him to make their teacher forget a due date, it magically happened. If an admin found out and tried to stop him, he wiped that as well.

Maybe he got a little carried away. He panicked one day and used it on his parents, only he put in too much effort in his lack of control, and… next thing he knew they were asking who he was and why he was in their house.

He hid from the AHM for as long as he could, thinking he’d be arrested. When they finally did track him down, they agreed to not throw him in a cell on one condition: join the Hermits. Honestly, not a bad deal.

In high school, Wels was… a huge nerd.

Yeah, he was on the varsity football team. But all his real passion went into theater and larping.

He and his twin brother, who was in the same boat, were exploring an abandoned excavation site behind their house one night, when the floor caved and they fell into the depths of what looked like an old buried building.

There were voices. The boys were knighted by ghosts and gifted unbreakable suits of armor. They left that site and had to pretend like everything was normal and fine with their lives. It came with a dope sword though, so who’s complaining?

Being made entirely of slime was cool because you couldn’t really be injured, but not as great because of how plain weird that made you.

Jevin and his cousin Charlie, who was also a hero, were in fact made of slime, as is their whole family. It’s just a weird gene that no one will specify on, but Jev doesn’t really mind.

The thing is, he’s resistant/ immune to pretty much everything. Extreme temperatures just sort of make him slower, and everything else goes through him or gets stuck in him. Not all that convenient, but it’s a nice perk when saving people. He doesn’t have to worry about himself.

Xisuma and his twin are the most powerful beings to ever exist.

Both of them can open portals through space, time, and other dimensions. They’re the only recorded people with that kind of power, ever. It makes them good leaders, but when one is constantly trying to destroy the world while the other is always trying to stop that from happening, scales balance out. If they were on the same side, there would be zero crime anywhere. Ever.

False started her business building little robots to make people’s lives easier, like a Roomba modified for carpet or a drone that pathfinds from your fridge to your living room to deliver drinks, and then it evolved from there.

When it started to get a bit too big to handle, that’s when she conveniently met Mumbo.

The two of them had been working on something highly illegal- a weaponized drone in the shape of a person to be piloted around like a dummy hero- when Evo and Medusa fell right through their warehouse roof, singed around the edges and badly hurt.

Mumbo and False’s service was so highly rated, the Hermits decided to officially adopt them into their team.

Joe and Beef share a kitchen/ lab, which is a good thing, because they’re kind of in the same field. Beef makes potions and food, and Joe is the healer. They’ve always been Hermits, as in assigned by the AHM always.

When various Hermits come in to steal food Beef usually throws either the nearest piece of fruit or a knife, whichever is closest to his hand. Everyone knows you don’t touch the cookies until you have express permission.

And Joe has patched up so many burns, bullet wounds, and stabs, that stitches are literally a no-brainer and he can be watching a movie in the background without a problem. It’s much more fun when heroes are made legal again so he can actually repair real damage made by supervillains.

The Hermits love them, don’t worry, no matter how many needles or knives are pointed their way.

~~~~~

so! there you go! please, PLEASE ask me to write stuff for this au, because I’m more than happy to do any hero scenario you can think of! if you want a villain list I’m sure that can be achieved, and although they’re mostly just Helsmits, it’s a fun concept.

so you know, think up a mission and send it my way. I’m so ready. what did you think?

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galacticscrotum · 1 year

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Hello!

I don’t really like introducing myself.

I get stressed out trying to capture the essence of who I am in a reasonable amount of words. I’m far too complex for that. Not in a “I’m so complicated and cool and mysterious” way, but more of a “I literally don’t even fully have a grasp on my own existence” way.

So instead of trying to summarize my personality, I’ll just list some random things I’d like you to know if you follow me :) (If it’s too long to read, I put key info in bold)

My name is Em, it’s nice to meet you!

I’ve rotated around the sun 22 times. No wonder I’m dizzy.

I am autistic and have ADHD and CPTSD. All three conditions are intrinsically linked for me, I cannot fully relate to any of the conditions on their own without the other two.

I have several symptoms of BPD (abandonment issues go brrrrr)

I never want to speak over people with higher support needs so please (respectfully) tell me if something I say is incorrect or offensive.

Autism and neurodivergence are huge special interests of mine! (Comorbidities hellooo)

I have a ridiculous and sarcastic sense of humor. I’m a goose that is rather silly.

Communicating requires a lot of my energy, so I don’t like any criticism on how I do it, like how often I punctuate or what words I use. I’m doing my best to get my thoughts from my internal realm to the outside world.

I love to learn about anarchy and communism. Even more, I love learning about and imagining better ways of life outside of any common ideologies.

I am fucking queer as fucking shit.

My pronouns are they/them. she/he are okay too

I edit this post a lot.

I love you and I want to be your friend :)

I use :) a lot and I will not stop :)

I love The Sims 4! (I have three of the expansion packs, city living, cottage living, and cats and dogs, and I do use cheats, and I have wicked whims because tiddies)

I am half Slavic/Balkan and that’s important to me because I was disconnected and removed from my culture when I was 5. (Other half is boring western European white American). Began to reconnect with my culture when I turned 18.

Learning languages is sooo fun for me! Def a big special interest. I’m semi-fluent in Spanish, and have little knowledge of: Portuguese, Mandarin, Serbian, Russian, Hungarian, toki pona (this one is so fucking cool to me).

I love music and sharing recommendations! I used to play several instruments including viola, violin, cello, guitar, and piano. Viola is forever my main instrument. Haven’t played in a while though.

Music genres I like: reggaeton, Afrobeats, house/techno/EDM, 2000-2010s pop, Serbian folk/pop, Mexican/Chicano rap, Spanish guitar, punk rock, Falling in Reverse (genre of its own tbh).

I’m very interested in the origins of humanity, early human migration, language evolution, and related topics.

I like to sew and embroider :)

I’m not religious. I have been finding my own spirituality with Mother Earth and I love it. I like learning about others’ beliefs. I don’t care what your religion is, I’ll accept you as long as you’re not in my DNI list :)

As a queer, neurodivergent, mentally ill person, I will reclaim slurs if I choose to. If that offends you, block me. I’m not here to cater to your sensitivities, I’m here to freely express myself. The language is not being used towards you, you’re just being a cop.

Anonymous asks are now OFF because y’all can’t fucking behave 🙄

DNI: under 18, homophobes, transphobes, racists, bigots, bootlickers, ableists, misogynists, porn blogs, general assholes (I LOVE BLOCKING YOU BITCHES!!!!)

If you’re under 18 and want to interact just DNI with any of my posts labeled nsfw/mdni.

Thanks for reading :) Always open to questions! And memes. The more absurd the better.

#introducing myself #intro post #introduction #introductory post #introduction post #self introduction #autism spectrum #autism #autistic women #autistic #i am just a result of the universe taking lsd and hallucinating that it exploded and became alive #audhd #actually autistic #actually audhd

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hiddenwashington · 1 year

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we are the april fools

welcome to the brain cell of the admin team working! we love a good bit so, here is a compilation of our bullshit for your memeing pleasure. enjoy!

**tw for nsfw, drug mention, alcohol mention, swearing

‘ fuck off you fucking gremlin ’

‘ mister mistoffelees is my cat boyfriend ’

‘ one is a kink, one is a crime ’

‘ i live for chaos you gotta feed me ’

‘ i’ll continue being an asshole for your amusement ’

‘ i’m ready, bring on the anxiety ’

‘ hey bro, what the fuck ’

‘ we’ll scar ourselves for valentines day ’

‘ and then she wrote me a novel about his cocaine addiction ’

‘ sponsored by ritz cheese crackers, absolute shit ’

‘ you have no legacy, your legacy is to be disappointed all the time ’

‘ you’re like some sad soccer mom that came for the wine instead of your kids soccer game ’

‘ karen can choke i would never forget the sangria ’

‘ your moms dead, i’m your problem now ’

‘ it is i, the mullet of your dreams ’

‘ you cannot mention pornhub! this is why you’re not hr ’

‘ i’m on the clock to knock your lights out ’

‘ i’m livin la tiddy loca ’

‘ she was hot, i don’t know what to tell you ’

‘ righting the world and the economy one karen at a time ’

‘ you can fight my brain and my anxiety sis we’re having ✨a terrible time✨ ’

‘ i’m on it drag that bitch to denny’s i’ll take her ass out ’

‘ can god stop vibe checking me ’

‘ today i learned that cocaine could be an antidepressant if the government weren’t cowards ’

‘ i had five shots of espresso, even god can’t stop me ’

‘ ted bundy is up first i will square up ’

‘ one day i will have the pleasure of going to hell and murdering freud ’

‘ i will not face consequences for my actions. you can not make me ’

‘ i can accept that i have a flaw or two. that’s it though, just two ’

‘ i know you try very hard, but you are very stupid ’

‘ let’s go straight, a thing we’ve never said before in this groupchat ’

‘ you better be ready to sleep with moth man - hi dad! ’

‘ that’s like the saddest uwu i’ve heard in my life ’

‘ i just want the thrill of rejecting a god ’

‘ you really think you could take on the kool-aid man and take no damage??? ’

‘ i don’t have a foot fetish, i’m just autistic ’

‘ i haven’t even learned multiplication, how am i supposed to know what a pyramid scheme is? ’

‘ do i look sexy while dying? ’

‘ have you been watching too much youtube? ’

‘ fucking ipad kids, man ’

‘ i can be sane about this i promise but not today ’

‘ i’m a catch and i can also sleep with a younger man ’

‘ how do you milk an oat ’

‘ fuck my dad ’

‘ sometimes you just need to start swinging ’

‘ i just watched a cat girl walk out of thin air in a starbucks ’

‘ isn’t that that furry thing people are into ’

‘ i’m gonna go on The Google and see if i can figure anything out ’

‘ am i high too? ’

‘ fuck off bambi ’

‘ since there was no warning and i make the rules here ’

‘ you’ll go where i say you’ll go ’

‘ does a - mother fucker ’

‘ gonna play chase the emo ’

‘ we love biting dilfs….? ’

‘ optimistic nihilism, right? none of us matter ’

‘ it’s kinda cringe to be kidnapped ’

‘ you rolled a 5, stfu this rabbit’s coming to brand you ’

‘ is he immune to KNIVES?? ’

‘ alright – now to kill this dad ’

‘ if you think garfield is going to stand against me in court, you’re out of your fucking mind ’

‘ no offense but you have like no mom vibes ’

‘ i think i got threatened by a furry ’

‘ speak of the cat lady and she shall appear ’

**shotguns frappuccino** ‘ there’s many ways to drink a drink ’

‘ these hands are magic, baby ’

‘ are you saying naruto is jesus?? ’

‘ your pride is going to get us killed ’

‘ you look like you could fit under a bush ’

‘ y’all test me… ’

‘ it’s your reward for being a dumb bitch ’

‘ i am SO GLAD you didn’t get vored by a cloud ’

‘ did you get so high/drunk you circled back to sober? ’

‘ try to crowd surf the third graders! ’

‘ some things are better off unknown , the phrase will haunt me but… ’

‘ we’ve summoned satanic tennessee ’

‘ what’s a chakra? i didn’t bring anything with me ’

‘ hey lady, did you give me crack ? ’

‘ there are no nutrients in my body, only spite! ’

‘ i’m here to be fun and cute! not smart! ’

‘ i don’t joke about setting timers ’

‘ eggs aren’t meat... yet ’

‘ this is being run by a bisexual maniac ’

‘ maybe nessie’s lonely, maybe nessie needs to get laid! ’

‘ biting is my kink ‘

‘ don’t worry, i will slowly eat away at you until you are a husk of a person ’

#meme day #long post tw #featuring the hits from two dnd campaigns and nightmare comments in the admin discord

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eastwoof · 2 years

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Joisey Boisey: Local Homestead Edition

Hi again everyone. Mod Spit here. Uhhhh, guess who has two thumbs and ended up seeing Jersey Boys again? This guy! So, in honor of the complete and utter bullshit I did last time as a means of filler, here’s my ramblings on a local production of Jersey Boys.

Friendly disclaimer like last time: Please know all these silly comments are said with as much love as humanly possible. I respect all these actors and the hard work they put into performing this show each night. Any seemingly negative opinions/commentary are in no way meant to bash the actors as they do not reflect their actual talents and abilities. So without further ado…

Pre-Show:

I dressed up for this event. Why did I do this.

And by that, I mean I walked in with a red blazer and tie because I wanted to be immersed. IMMERSED, I tell you.

Also wow, they’re gonna perform on a stage that I did community theater on. That’s crazy.

Oh my god the set is so cool. (I wonder how they’re gonna do the lamppost.)

Edit: There was no lamppost :(

Why do people bring their little children to this show they’re going to start calling you an asshole

Act I:

OH MY GODDD.

“CES SOIRÉES-LA” WAS SO SEXY AND BRIGHT. I WAS HOOKED FROM THE START. AMEN

For a local theater, the set is really, really good!! For example, there’s no giant screen agressively telling me the season (nor a gregariously big lamppost), but wow. Top tier professional production.

Tommy is the most stereotypical Italian man I have ever seen. I want him to spit on me and murder me with a spoon. Please.

He’s also the tallest out of the four of them?? Which is something I didn’t expect to enjoy as much as I do.

Frankie is so bubbly and animated!! He’s so cute. AND he’s tiny!! I love him.

But oh my god please,, stay still,, a bit sir. You’re sweating so much. Sir. You must be so tired. SIR. CALM DOWN--

It also seems to be causing a bit of strain on his voice. I hope he’s okay :(

On the bright side his guy liner is 😩👌

BOB IS SUCH A COCKY AND CONFIDENT PIECE OF SHIT. THEY REALLY SAID “FUCK UWU BOB. HE’S TALENTED AND A HOE AND HE KNOWS IT.”

Also his tone? So smooth. I wish my skin was that smooth. “Cry for Me” was so hot. When I pray, that’s the voice I wish I had.

NICK. OH MY GOD. A GOOD NICK. I... I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. I’M-- HAVE I DIED?

His comedic timing? Magnificent. Do I pity him? No. Do I want him to step on me? Absolutely. Does he beat Mark Edwards though? I’m sorry, but no. (The day someone changes my mind about Mr. Edwards, I’ll make a whole separate post, and the world will probably implode. Despite that, I prefer this Nick a million times more than Blonde British Massi™️.)

“I Go Ape” was so awkwardly funny for absolutely no reason. I love it. Hank went, “..HAHA YEAH!” as he handed everyone the suit jackets.

Gyp’s mic tape came off during “My Mother’s Eyes,” and I loved watching it dangle from his face during his aggressive sobbing.

“AN ANGEL CRIED”. HAL TOOK THE OPTION UP AT THE END. AND. ALSO. DURING “OH WHAT A NIGHT”. WHAT. THE HELL. HOW IS HIS VOICE NOT BROKEN. IS HE OKAY? HE IS SO GOOD. MURDER ME.

Loraine’s actress is very cute. I’ll update y’all.

Act II:

They all did their own special pose during the beginning of “Big Man…” and tbh I thought I was watching an anime opening.

OKAY. I LOVE NICK. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. aaaAAAAAHHHH—

HIS MONOLOGUE. It gave me secondhand embarrassment in the best way possible. Everyone’s trying to talk about the IMPORTANT MATTER, and he’s over here WHINING about Tommy being a little BITCH.

His monologue just gets increasingly louder until he shouts “TEN YEARS.” then he pauses and delicately plops into his chair to sit all politely. He looks like the cat meme. It’s so goofy.

Also, Nick being on the brink of tears when he mentions how he can’t see hotel soap.

The audience loudly groaned once Tommy said “half a mil,” and it made my heart happy.

Bob was the only one with a toilet during the jail scene, so seeing everyone dramatically draped over their chairs while he’s all scrunched up on the can was hilarious.

Okay, so Frankie being a hyperactive beyblade was definitely necessary here. He needs a place to put all that energy. HE RAN WITH IT.

“Beggin’” had sexy spins. “C’mon Marianne”? Exquisite. But then he starts doing whole ballet turns during “Working My Way…”??? Like, okay, Nutcracker and Swan Lake. I see you.

Bob’s smirk when he says, “What makes you think they liked you before?” 🥴✨💕

LORAINE. SHE IS SO CUTE. AND INCREDIBLE. I usually don’t pay as much attention as I should to her character, but this time my eyes were practically GLUED to her. Her leaving Frankie broke my heart into pieces. She deserves the world.

Oh, and sickness is cured. They all enunciate so hard, that they’re constantly spitting like camels. I love theater.

And now, the cast:

Frankie Valli: Ben Bogen

Tommy DeVito: Alec Michael Ryan

Nick Massi: Matthew Amira

Bob Gaudio: Michael Notardonato

Joe Pesci: Gianni Palmarini

Barry Belson: David Lamarr

Gyp DeCarlo: Peter McClung

Lorraine: Madeline Canfield

Mary Delgado: Abigail Sparrow

Francine: Hannah Jane

Norm Waxman: Rhys Williams

Bob Crewe: Aidan Cole

Hank Majewski: Jack Baylis

#jersey boys #musicals #musical theater #musical #frankie valli #bob gaudio #tommy devito #nick massi #mod spit

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hoperays-song · 1 year

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Things Gooseless Did During Their Finals Weeks

(Because my school is bloody insane and my finals are over like two weeks instead of one. It’s like they want us to get ulcers.)

-----------------------------------

1. Spammed their english professor with literary memes.

2. Wrote frog comics on the bottom of the paragraph response forms in environmental science.

3. Somehow slept for 17 hours straight immediately after my first Friday exam... I typically have insomnia, I pretty sure my family thought I was going into a coma.

4. Got compared to Hunter from The Owl House because of my eye bags twice in one day.

5. Pulled a few all nighters to turn in late assignments that even my professors forgot I had. I still barely passed but hey, I passed.

6. Had a sensory overload and a migraine attack because I wasn’t allowed headphones in the silent testing lab. And no I wasn’t allowed to wear them after either. Yay.

7. Had to write the sentence, “Asian carp have invaded Lake Eerie”, on previously mentioned environmental science final and immediately thought about that one news dude who made everyone believe aliens were invading.

8. Wrote three essays about warrior cats books. :)

9. Put fun facts in my answer book when I got bored and didn’t know how to respond to the prompt... So for every prompt.

10. Bashed my art history professor on those essay response forms by listing everything I argued with him about all year. If you can’t tell, I’m petty apparently.

11. Drew a truly awful self portrait. Like next level horrible. :)

12. Wrote commentary on every question on my English (second) exam. Like actual running commentary on the questions. My teacher just sighed when she saw it (she laughed though, glared at me, but laughed while grading it).

13. Cried four times in one day. That was fun.

14. Found out that banana pudding has layers?!?!?! And is actually vanilla pudding with bananas?!?!?

15. Binged the whole of Netflix’s Queen Charlotte solely for the annoyed gay butlers trying to parent trap their bosses.

16. Found three of said professors emails and now have a way to get in touch with them after graduation (NEXT WEEK!!!!), because they honestly know waaaayyyyy too much about my life for me not to at this point.

17. Correctly guessed how many questions I would get right on my mathematics final (80% baby).

18. Baked four whole trays of cookies to give to my professors as an end of year gift. I was a horrible student. They deserve at least cookies.

19. Started planning out a tattoo for me to get. :)

20. Wrote two thousand more words of the continuation fic as well as started on a few short ones for a different fandom and the warriors au.

21. Took a very unplanned hiatus (still not back, sorry y’all).

22. Watched a total of twenty hours of movie and tv show analysis videos within three days.

23. Reached one year in one of my recovery programs and three months in another!!!!!!!!

24. Had to say goodbye to my friends and my daughter since now I won’t be in school with them next year (still in contact with several of them, daughter including, just can’t see her in person due to me moving). It sucked.

25. Worked on more character backstories that will be coming soon. Hopefully. As in once I get off hiatus, expect like four angsty backstories.

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alyosiuscreightonward · 2 years

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Dear Diary,

I saw this meme and I burst out laughing. Sincerely I did. First off, I don’t want to get into snogging (kissing) for several reasons and I’m sticking to it.

I’m not into this kissing thing because it is way too intimate and I’d only do this if I had paper (wedding license and/or last Will & Testament). I also feel that it’s too much like a porn. Always kissing and making all kinds of weird noises. I’m sure “we’ve” been in place where we picked up someone in a bar and blah blah blah. Gross. Tipsy, sloshed or drunk. I don’t want to be in a situation where I taste the liquor and or cigarettes or learn that you had, like Marilyn Monroe once said, “…onions for lunch and garlic for dinner…” Whether you have that “Million Dollar Dazzledent Smile” or not, I’m not going to kiss you as a result of foreplay. Nope.

Secondly, I don’t want to know that their tongue is flailing about in my mouth and you’re going to find out exactly how much dental work I’ve done. A couple of crowns, a root canal etc. Gick. Wait a second, is that a partial, a bridge or a denture? Fucking nasty.

Thirdly, I don’t think I want to feel or taste anything like how furry your tongue is or is that just what I think it is? A piece of food? Dental floss? YIKES!! A pubic hair!! I know I’m going to far with my imagination but c’mon y’all. Or even the absolute worst thing I’ve ever heard from a dearly departed friend, he burped loudly and he then quipped, “Ugh. Gross. Burping up cum all day.” The mere thought of this I shudder in disbelief and disgust. Apparently he had been trolling Glory Holes.

Lastly, as a former sex worker, I would have kissed you all over but the thought of a mouth and tongue having been in a place and now I’m kissing you with all that? Gick. I’ve seen videos where people do that and I’m like no fucking way is that happening. As I’m writing this, I’m clenching. The worst. My fertile imagination. Gick. The very thought of vomiting a little bit in my mouth. I’d feign interest in one of those Hollywood kisses or something else such as a European kiss. Something like I don’t actually physically touch you. Now I’m going to accept a good bone crushing hug. Snuggle. Nuzzle. Spooning. I’m in. Two tongues going at it like two epees in a fencing match? Sorry. No. I can’t do that. Hold up now. If was a kiss from Bad Bunny, okay but definitely not like the kind of kiss that Madonna and Britney Spears. Gick. All that tongue lashing and bodily fluids. 🤮🤢🤮 NOPE! Not happening. After a long while, I’d be able to get the negotiations started and consider detente. I’m not sorry about this. It’s just the way I feel about kissing. Though you may chastise me for being the recipient of dog or cat licks and or preening, you do that. G’head and go on a tangent about Zoonosis etc., but I’m not going to kiss you if tongues are involved. I’m not sorry. It’s just the way I feel. Now you have the option to get into it and you can tell me how wonderful it is and all that rot, but I’m staying over here and you can’t change my mind.

#dear diary #i wrote this for me #lgbtq #bipolar depression #inside my mind #my words #my writing #no your not the only one #pity party #ramblings #reality stranger than fiction #self love #vomiting #wnq writers #writers on tumblr

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arcanadreams · 3 years

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That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?)

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~”

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams.

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that.

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way.

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism.

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?”

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on.

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process.

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care.

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet.

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention.

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram.

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place.

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly.

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

#IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINALLY WRITTEN THIS #obey me #my writing #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #posts

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haitanic · 3 years

Text

Poly Relationship With KamiShin

I adore the idea of being in a relationship with these two, I just think it would be so good and I love them both so much. This ended up being way longer than I had planned but I could have kept going so I’ll probably write more like this.

Masterlist

SFW above the cut, NSFW below

SFW

Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence? (the boys being protective of you/defending you)

This relationship would just be one big meme

You and Kaminari clowning together

You and Shinsou laughing at Kaminari’s dumbassery

Until it goes to far and you realize he’s going to hurt himself and you both frantically go “nOooO DeNKi!!!”

Pranks

These two are in a prank war and you are on both teams

So it’s basically just you messing with both of them

They’d pull pranks on you too but it would always be really little silly things, never to the extent they’d do to each other

Neither of these men sleep

Please god make them go to bed

I mean if you’re someone who also stays up all night then oh god this is just a disaster, the three of you will never sleep

If you’re someone who goes to bed at a reasonable time please drag them with you

I don’t think it would be hard to drag them to bed honestly, they’re both way to soft

Like if they were gaming together but you wanted to go to bed, they’d try to say they were going to keep gaming but the second you say please and ask them to come cuddle you the controllers are on the table and they’re crashing into bed with you (simps)

They literally can’t say no to you

With anything, literally anything you want is yours

These men adore you and want to take care of you

Truly just two men that I hc as drinking there respect juice

But it’s more than that, like more than respect, it’s adoration

I think when they get into a relationship with someone the feelings are strong, to share themselves with someone like that they’d have to love and trust them so much

They’d spoil the shit out of you, but you better do the same for them

And when I say spoil I don’t mean spend a bunch of money, just bring them little things and do cute things

Like bring Shinsou coffee and Denki snacks

Give Denki a $1 Pikachu sticker and tell him it reminds you of him

Show your love with memes, they will cry, you’re too perfect

Send Denki silly memes and go “dis u?” he’ll love you so muchand think its so cute

Send Shinsou cute, lovey, cat memes, like meme of a little kitten with a sappy message over it

They’re both definitely very teasing S/Os, like you’d all just be making fun of each other constantly but it’s with LOVE

Consensual bullying

But they’d never comment on something you’re actually insecure about, they know what’s too far and they’d never go there

(If you’re like me and someone who likes to be affectionately teasing with S/Os and friends please make sure you have boundaries established and you know what is ok to tease about and what actually hurts, communication y’all, ok back to your regularly scheduled programming)

I’m gonna be honest, y’all would eat so much takeout, neither of them can cook for shit

actually that’s a lie, Shinsou can cook, he just doesn’t want to

If you can cook and enjoy it please make them meal at least a few times a week

Please teach them healthy habits

Make them go to bed, make them go outside, force feed them veggies and water please just take care of them because they don’t know how to

I mean don’t force them. like please don’t try to change them, but express your concern about their unhealthy habits and try to help if that makes sense

Ok but they are so protective, anyone who tries to mess with you better be prepared to catch hands

They’d both be so goofy with you but if anyone tries to mess with you they are stone faced in a second and ready to rock someone's shit

You are perfect to them and they won’t let anyone say otherwise

Oh and if someone said something about the three of you being together, god help them

Actually don’t, no one help them, they deserve it, not sorry

The cuddles are IMMACULATE

The positions are always changing but it’s always so good

You in the middle either with both of their heads on your chest or facing one and being a little spoon to the other

Shinsou in the middle with both you and Kaminari resting your heads on his chest, you and Kami would be holding hands and you’d all just alternate giving each other little pecks

Kaminari in the middle facing Shinsou with you big spooning him... yes please

You all just want to make sure you’re all happy, it would be so supportive and goofy and just happiness

This relationship feels like sunshine

NSFW BELOW THE CUT. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. 18+.

NSFW

Warnings: dom/sub themes, degradation and praise kinks, sadomasochism and pain kinks, vouryerism, overstim/edging, literally just fucking flithy y’all

Please note that the things I headcannon only apply if it’s something you consent to.

oof

oh god

This is gonna be nasty

But so good

I’ve seen different people say different things but my personal opinion is that Shinsou is a dom (a hard one) and Kaminari is a switch

And yes, Shinsou calls you both his kittens, you cannot change my mind, I don’t care

So there’s a few different ways I see things going

So if both you and Kaminari are feeling like bottoms then Shinsou will gladly dom you both at the same time

Shinsou definitely has a vouyer kink so he would instruct you and Kaminari on what to do to each other while he jut watched his kittens play (stop that felt so filthy to type aaaa)

Once you were both completely worn out then he’d finally step in and have his way with you both

Like I said, he is a hard dom, definitely sadistic

Honestly he’d use telling you and Denki what to do to each other as a punishment, making you overstim or edge each other till neither of you can take anymore and are begging and/or crying

Then he’d come fuck you both into the mattress

This man is going to completely and utterly demolish you (if you’re ok with that of course)

He’d be praising you both but in a way that feels so dirty, he’d degrade you both a bit with words but I think it would mostly be praise, the degrading/humiliating part is what he does to you/makes you do to each other

He’d definitely be pretty rough with both of you (always only if you consent), he’d be manhandling you guys, just throwing you around, pulling hair, choking, a little slapping if you’re up for it (I definitely think Denki is just saying)

But don’t get me wrong, he also knows how to take care of his kittens

Like he can be so soft and giving with you as well, when the situation calls for soft sex this man will give you that and he will give it so good

Just the most gentle, loving praises and soft holds and eye contact and love

Ok, next situation Shinsou and Kaminari both wanting to dom you

ok wait cause there’s actually two ways that could go, if Kaminari is feeling switchy but leaning towards dom then it would be kinda similar to the first situation, with Shinsou telling him what to do to you but he’d just be more dom with it himself and he’d still let Shinsou dom him a bit but not full on, like they’re both domming you but Shinsou takes the lead

Ok but if Kaminari is feeling full dom then god help you

I hope you have the day of tomorrow

Because Kaminari as a dom is also one sadistic mother fucker

I absolutely headcannon Kaminari as being hard and sadistic when he’s domming (I mean he’s a little fucking masochist when hes a bottom)

But yeah if it’s something you’re ok with then these men are going to destroy you

I really can’t stress how ruthless they are when they’re domming together

You’re going to get whiplash from these two because one of them is degrading the shit out of you while the other is telling you the kindest praise

“Look at you, such a filthy little whore for us to use”, “You’re so beautiful, doing so good for us baby”

But you never know which ones going to say what and they’re constantly switching roles

Yeah you’re about to get your shit rocked, there’s no other way to say it

Honestly you’re going to be barely conscious by the time they’re finally done

Alright, last variation is you and Shinsou domming Kaminari

Pretty similar to when he’s domming you with Kaminari but y’all switch places

Just demolishing little subby baby Denki

I talk about how much of a little subby baby he is in my nsfw hcs for him

As much of a sadist as he is when he’s domming completely switches to masochism when he’s a sub

He will cry and beg and he loves it, he will literally beg you two to hurt him like a whiny little boy

Baby just wants to be completely destroyed and fucked out

Gee, can you tell I’m a switch

Regardless of how it goes down the sex would honestly be so good because both of them are very giving partners

I mean don’t get me wrong, they’re gonna tease the shit out of you, but they’re both very focused on making sure all three of you feel amazing

The aftercare, oh god the aftercare

Always so cute and sweet

Doesn’t matter who topped and bottomed

Cuddles and words of affirmation for all of you, just all three of you giving and getting love

If any of you are in subspace or roughed up or out of it or whatever then whoever isn’t will give you everything you need whether that's a hot drink or a nice bath or some lotion or whatever

You all just take such good care of each other because this is a relationship built on mutual love, adoration, and respect

This got a little out of hand, much longer than I thought it was going to be, my bad.

#shinkami #kamishin #shinsou x reader x kaminari #shinsou smut #shinsou hcs #shinsou imagine #kaminari smut #kaminari hcs #kaminari imagine #poly bnha #bnha hcs #bnha smut

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mohluskiepedard · 4 years

Text

Rating ATLA Characters literally only from what I’ve seen in fandom

or: posts that probably shouldn’t be on my writeblr except I don’t have a sideblog

the context here is it’s half midnight and I have never seen ATLA except I have opinions now apparently so here we go whoop de do-

I’m also not actually rating them like numerically that’s too much work i’m just stating opinions I know I’m a fraud

AANG

- A child? - A son? - he is Baby. but also. he has had It Rough - would make the updog joke - has unspeakable power or smth and everyone says he’s better than the Korra girl who comes after him but honestly tastes like sexism to me - doesn’t kill people because he’s like twelve, right? he’s like twelve so he refuses to kill people - I stan honestly - less twelve year olds should kill people - Some people say his name WRONG and they are BAD but i don’t actually know what the right way or the wrong way is so. have fun w that yall - lived in peace unTIL THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED

KATARA

- She is also like twelve??? - Is everyone here twelve - Cortana?? Katana?? Catbug?? - She has good hair, - Her mother is dead??? her mother is dead n she has a brother but she cares about her mother being dead WAY more than him (or apparently the entire fandom??) - Badass - She seems soft. good. sweet - she’s a water breather or whatever??? her brother is NOT but he is a meme - I love her

SOKKA

- NGL looks like a fuckboy - The meme brother! does not do the water things, but he has an aXe??? - dates BAMF lady - ngl until I talked to my ATLA watching friend I thought he canonically dated Zuko - kinda mad he doesn’t - I haven’t actually seen anything about him except like. in zuko ship posts and also Suki appreciation posts - joined the white lotus not-a-cult by accident??? - dark ATLA tumblr show me more Sokka posts - is his name prounounced the same way as Soccer or isn’t it I need to know - HIS FIRST GIRLFRIEND TURNED INTO THE MOON - (AND THAT’S ROUGH, BUDDY) - He and Suki are a good ship, but also, Sokka Has Two Hands

SUKI

- the BAMF herself - she says STOP in that photo but also to sexism - Rlly all I see of her in fanon is abt her teaching Sokka to drink his respect women juice and I appreciate her doing that but also it’s sad she never gets talked about outside of what she did for a man - I hope she has other badass moments w/o him it would suck if she didn’t - she is NOT the girlfriend who turned into the moon, she is the one who didn’t - I don’t know much else about her ATLA Fandom y’all should appreciate her more

ZUKO

- Look at him... my son... - He has a good redemption arc - he and his sister are evil lesbian and redeemed gay guy??? - has a straight canon ship but should’ve been with Sokka this boy is gay - I Want To Protect Him - That’s literally it - he has a cool uncle and his dad sucks - people ship him with Katara and I Do Not Get It that’s his sister in law except not really - “We don’t trust Zuko’s change of heart” [the next day] “so Zuko is my closest friend now,�� - His dad was like “fuck up the avatar to prove your worth to me” and Aang was like “counter argument you already have worth and we should fuck up your dad” and I think that’s beautiful - he becomes the fire man and he’s very good at it - Zuko for President 2020 - in the words of myself, half an hour ago: “ I was like "that kid with the burn on his face seems like a sad but then happy mlm who needs found family" and I was RIGHT” - took too long to find a happy picture of him :( Zuko rights NOW please - His mother’s story got compared to an OC of mine and all I can say is oh no and they deserve better based on that alone - I have had Zuko for five minutes but if anything else happens to him I will kill everyone in this throne room and then myself

TOPH

- She is badass but like also will murder you while laughing maniacally? - for some reason reminds me of Nott from Critical Role, another show I Have Not Seen - Is blind but gets more out of making jokes abt being blind than she would from being able to see - “Sight is just a cheap tactic to make weak benders stronger!!!” - Literally the opposite of Aang and has killed many people?? - She Can Tell When You’re Lying. But I do not know how and Am simply mildly threatened by this - Therapist: Toph’s ability to know if you’re lying isn’t real and can’t hurt you. Toph’s ability to know if I’m lying: - She and Zuko.... buddies??? - if not they should be - tiny sad boy needs friends like toph

AZULA

- Evil Lesbian Culture - [BDG Voice] You committed a war crime! Oopsie! - took be gay do crime too literally - her and Zuko have accurate sibling writin except instead of “you ever want to murder your sibling for breathing in the same space as you,” being a Joke Azula took it seriously - okay but with a name like azula she should be the blue bender this ANNOYS me she should NOT be red bender - AZULa - AZUL - IT MEANS BLUE - She was half of y’alls gay awakenings and it SHOWS - Should have maybe been redeemed too??? Jury is out no one knows - Was she gay for Ty Lee or wasn’t she I can’t tell how much of that Audio is a joke - IS SHE ALSO TWELVE??? IS EVERYONE HERE TWELVE?? IS THIS TWELVE YEAR OLD COMITTING ATROCITIES?

UNCLE IROH

- A Good Man - Finally, Some Good Fucking [Adult Figures] - he has the tea. literally and figuratively - Ozai is like “and I will permanently disfigure my son and throw him out” and Iroh is like “What The Fuck, Ozai,” thus voicing the entire audience’s thoughts - Literally the only adult in this that I trust - I? I love him. this is all I have to say. my love for him is unending. Some1 protect this man from all harm - he’s Zuko’s uncle (and also Azula ig) but he does not seem related to Ozai. is it just a theme in this family that one sibling is chill and one sibling commits horrendous atrocities against your fellow human beings or - something happened to his son???? :((((( I Don’t Want Him To Have Suffered Like This

OZAI

- A BAD MAN - Uh Oh (stinky) - THE WORST OF THE MEN - I do not like him - Bastard man. nasty. committed war crimes and then went “but what if - get this - i also abused my son,” - I would like him to Not Be Like This - by Like This I mean present and alive - :/

TY LEE

- She’s NOT the There Is No War In Ba Sing Se lady and I don’t know why i thought she WAS but until I looked up her photo I thought that was her - She looks like a sweetheart tho - I hope nothing bad happens to her???? - talks about auras??? or smth??? let her vibe - She would talk animatedly to me about warrior cats if she was in my year seven class and I was sat alone and I would understand none of it but appreciate her anyway - if azula bullies her I’ll be :( at Azula and Azula will not care because she has Mommy Issues and therefore is slightly unhinged - She seems like that one kid with no trauma vibing at the edge of [every other kid having trauma] and not really getting it but trying her best - Is she also twelve?????? She maybe looks twelve

CABBAGE MAN

- HIS CABBAGES - fulfills my favourite trope: ordinary person repeatedly has life disrupted by the inconveniences of relying on actual children to save the world - probably has a campaign post canon for letting trained adults fix the worlds’ problems in the future - or sets up the Very First Cabbage Insurance Company - look at him. he loves his cabbages so much. you go you funky lil cabbage man

ALSO THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES MOMO

- LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO GOOD - small. fluffy. big ears - Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty: his Momoness - a Good Boy...

APPA

- he looks so soft... - he can fly but he just does it by??? vibing through the air?? motionless??? iconic - I saw that one post about mishearing it as Abba and thinking he was Aang’s dad and he looks like he would be a good stand in dad ngl - he’s so LORGE - a chonky boy - love him

that is everyone I have heard of it and if I left someone out it’s a sign that y’all should talk about em more bc I have no clue they exist put more ATLA On my Dash ig I’ll do Legend of Korra ig maybe apparently that one has canon wlw and i love me some canon wlw

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liyazaki · 3 years

Text

🍒🌸 Cherry Magic Ask Game 🌸🍒

I don't know how we got to the last rewatch day so fast, but here we are 😩 I figured we'd finish with a little CM ask game- thank you Orthy for letting me steal questions from your ATOTS ask game!

1. Favorite character

Adachi by far- i.e. possibly BL’s bestest baby gay/anxious wreck with a heart of gold.

2. Character you relate to the most

As an also confidently-queer dancer with a giant soft spot for cats- Minato.

3. Favorite quote from the series

Is it weird that the first quote that comes to mind isn’t an actual quote at all, but from a sushishort’s video? “Hello God- it’s me, Adachi. First of all- WHAT THE FUCK.” If that doesn’t sum up the show, I don’t know what does 🤣

4. Favorite moment in the show

The elevator doors just rattling the hell out of Adachi, as if he wasn’t already rattled enough. Sends me EVERY time.

5. A character you think is underrated

Rokkaku- sure, he’s a little obnoxious, but he’s also the show’s resident Pikachu (forever thanks to @smittenskitten for that!).

6. Which character would you absolutely be friends with

I’d be hanging out with Minato & enjoying Tsuge’s chaotic energy by extension.

7. The moment that you fell in love with the show

The moment on the street in episode one with the extreme closeup on Adachi’s face when he realizes what’s happening to him- well done humor, in MY BL?! It’s more likely than you think!

8. Top so-soft-it-might-be-illegal moment

Adachi’s confession- I was so proud of him! And Kurosawa’s reaction- GET OUT; I can’t.

9. Favorite hands-are-for-the-gays moment

The scarf scene 🧣

10. Favorite Kurosawa making heart eyes moment

I’m gonna cheat at my own game and say rather than heart eyes, it was Kurosawa’s FIRE eyes at Rokkaku when he wiped Adachi’s face.

11. Favorite Adachi x Kurosawa moment (i.e. when they invented tenderness)?

Besides the confession & the finale, I loved them being at home and domestic in episode 10. Enjoying coffee at home in loungewear is basically my love language, so I’m biased.

12. Favorite friendship moment

Fujisaki telling Adachi she’s going to ask for his help ALL the time moving forward, and seeing how carefree and comfortable Adachi was in that moment- OWWW.

13. Favorite overall episode

10.

14. Top LMAO moment

Again- that damn elevator!

15. A moment you could live without

Tsuge was more than a little extra for my taste- can’t choose one moment.

16. One thing you’d change about the show

The KISS- or lack thereof.

17. Someone you got to know because of the show or someone whose posts/works you enjoyed seeing in the tags

I always loved @sushishorts content, but now they get to enjoy me directly screaming my adoration at them. Not to victim blame, but maybe try not being so funny 24/7?

18. Describe the show in 3 words

BL anti-depressant (not quite 3 but I stand by it).

19. One moment from CM that always stays with you

The rooftop ending: declarations, matrimonial pens, friendship AND fireworks? C’mon.

I’m going to tag a bunch (probably not all- if I missed you, it wasn’t intentional) of peeps who have been posting during the rewatch. BUT- if you’ve been following the rewatch at all, consider yourself tagged (insert usual only-if-you-want disclaimer here).

@smittenskitten @spicychipsdemon @sushishorts @kaonoppakao @laowen @cherrymaho @surii @pink-akuma-watching-in-queer @saranghae-hoe @ninasaysmanythings @morathicain @mel-loves-kdramas @pastacritter @omarandjohnny @meteorjam

edit: I swear I tagged you but it didn't take?! @incandescentflower

THANK YOU to everyone who participated in the CM Rewatch! I missed out on the show when it first premiered, and it’s been SO nice to experience it again with you all. The creations, text posts, memes, fanfics and edits y’all have shared over the past 12 days? The creativity, unique perspectives and TALENT on display? Just, wow. It’s been a blast, friends 🍒

#cmrewatch #cherry magic #cherry magic!#cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい #cherry magic ask game #my text post

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utilitycaster · 3 years

Text

about to go do things with my sister but before I reblog all I can while riding in a car until I acknowledge how carsick I am please enjoy the unedited (but for a few notes about fic/wizard tracker) doc I kept from approximately 6 am this morning (beginning of Trent Fight) until about half an hour ago because my other sister with whom I watched until midnight was behind me in her watch so I had NO ONE with whom to share my terrible shitpost thoughts

Uk’otoa in the pond is like...don’t threaten me with a good time

Fluffernutter?

Adele Dazeem’s Horrid Wilting, no less

YES YES THE OTHER WIZARDS ARE OUT

Veth you need to let Caleb/Astrid go like. Come on girl.

Well I got my Wulf answer…

YES PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT SWORDS TO A WIZARD FIGHT

Fjord now down to wizard HP levels

The dispels and the fluffernutter/collar series...impeccable. Every moment.

I can’t tell if this is rodeo or wrestling

Oh okay rodeo

Stone cold veth

Device? Activated. Collar? Adhered. Mouth? STOPPED. (trent ikithon is forcibly ejected from the narrative)

Take that object away he still sucks

Fjord: Violence is always the second answer. The first answer is respecting other people’s wishes. But violence fucking slaps.

All deep thoughts on Astrid and Wulf to be saved for like. Real meta and not this. That said...how fitting that Wulf is like, mostly just like “I would like to not be here”. I relate to this.

Can’t wait to get online and see all the memes of Astrid, Eadwulf, and Kingsley in the cars from that slightly problematic TV show from the Emo musician guy.

Forgot that Melora gives her greatest powers only to her most raw fucking servants.

“You do not, under any circumstances, gotta hand it to him”

Jester is now just providing Essek’s dress-up closet and like. Bless her.

BINGO (if Ludinus counts as a mention and if not whatever it’s the finale I do what I want sorry Gena)

I love Cad in max passive-aggressiveness mode and also just aggressiveness mode

Okay Kingsley and the whip is actually a good pairing, I’m into it.

Awww everyone hugging Cad…

Cad: I’m off the grid bitch!

Look what you’ve done for me. I have anxiety. (no but really, beautiful scene but also the image of Essek slipping out from a group hug by floating up will make me laugh for like. A month.)

EMPATHIZE

Trent being fed oatmeal by fey cats...effervescent

Let’s go to Nicodranas and party with old people!

Yussa experiences shame!

Yussa: Wizards love you. Fuck everyone else. Let’s party.

Oh my god i want to be drunk on a roof with my friends staring at the moon...Jester and Fjord you are RUINING ME

Can’t believe the cast made a Mallrats reference after last week when, no shade, NONE OF Y’ALL ACKNOWLEDGED IT

Jester’s strength is 100% for hugging, canon

Fuck you all I’m shipping Marius/Kingsley now and you can’t do anything about it

FOR I AM A PIRATE KING(SLEY) (you are! Hurrah for the pirate king!) (Pirates of Penzance AU? probably not)

SYPHILIS BANDITS

I love you Orly

Unrelated but has anyone else seen the Chris Fleming video about boston bros holding beer cans in their giant hands

YUDALA MY BELOVED

Okay real bingo, Ludinus has shown up and also knows which way the wind is blowing huh, fucking opportunist. And he’s not stupid...he knows that means “you’re next, bitch” from Caleb

GASLIGHTERS DELENDA EST

(making my way)

Immortal weasel fuck yeah

“There’s still so much of exandria to fuck with”

Where’s that bit about only children and Keyleth and “it’s definitely my fault that the dragon destroyed the city” because Fjord my guy

Love that Vandran is being beset by “shitty monkeys” like this is what you get for not talking about your feelings

Vandran, who dated Avantika: Jester is...a lot

“Be my Yeza”...top Exandrian pop single

If you talk super fast you can fit it all in a message because it’s only one word. It’s just science.

My worst trait is that like, on the one hand I would love to see certain tropes subverted, like, why not do the questionable science. But on the other it’s pretty much always the right idea not to and I love seeing people be like “I want this more than anything and also I cannot know if it will destroy me, I have something now that I can’t risk ruining”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #long post #mighty nein

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scandeniall · 4 years

Text

story of us

pairing: suna x reader

the story of ur relationship <3; alternatively (more) dating sunarin headcanons but this time is somewhat of an order and talks good and bad 2K+ worth lol

a/n: i had more planned but half of these have been sitting in my notes for months and its kinda fucking long already bc he lives rent free!!!

warnings: uh the usual aged up (in ur 20s time skip type beat), language, yeah

Meeting

Now when y’all met suna was not looking to love at all. That man was just living his life and so where you. The two of you pretty much meet through komori. You’re a friend and it’s his birthday so him and a few of his friends go out for drinks bc why not. Young hot pretty financially stable v-ball players. Nah no ones there for any type of hookups literally just there celebrating a great guy.

They rent out a section at a relatively nice bar tbh. Not the cheapest and you can actually hear conversation. But also not a super expensive one where the patrons are middle aged with jazz music and the occasional track to relive “youth.” Komori’s a sweetie and will come outside to get you when you text that you’re there. You’ve met washio and ofc sakusa Before so you greet them casually then you turn and there’s Suna and a few others you haven’t met.

That greeting isn’t anything special I promise. Just “hey I’m so and so” and vice versa. It’s one of those meetings where you just think “he’s cute” but it’s such a fleeting thought. Y’all don’t even really talk that first night tbh. At the next practice Suna mentions offhandedly that he didn’t know komori was dating someone and komori is like: huh? Yeah sorry. I love (Y/N) and all but were just friends. Suna just shrugs not really caring to be honest until Komori just asks what did he think of you.

“Don’t really remember much man. Seemed cool though” he didn’t think he’d really see you again. Yeah you were close enough to have been at Komori’s birthday but if that was his first time ever meeting you, he figured you weren’t from around there are present very much. Yeah he was wrong.

Suddenly you were on Komori’s snap story more often, or maybe he’d just been noticing more. Too bad he couldn’t even remember your name 💀. Then it turned into you occasionally popping up where he was. He’d been told your name at least 5 times already but wouldn’t remember it the next day. Whenever he’d see you again he’d get a strained look like: “what is this mf name again” just laugh and tell him again bby.

That changed at some random house party by another mutual friend you two apparently had? You two were the only people just around the fire pit trying to catch some warmth in the chilly night. He’s probably just on his phone head bobbing his head to the muffled music from inside. And you’re just like “remember my name yet?” All jokingly. This sparks the tiniest bit of interest in him and he lets out a low chuckle and just admits “not at all.” I also feel like this is the first time he really looks at you and he’s like 🤨, wait you’re actually kinda cute.

That night y’all just kinda talk and vibe. The conversation comes easy as you two jump back and forth from talking about the music playing to sneakers which he brings up to stuff that you like. He’s actually really easy to talk to. So easy that u can forget about him not remembering your name despite meeting several times. You mention that you’d hung around komori before while they were gaming and that he seemed pretty cool. That leads him to asking “how do you know him anyways?”

“I used to date Sakusa”

Mentally he’s just like— ‘yeah I’m not getting involved in this. Time to go.’ Until you just start laughing.

“I’m kidding. He’s not really my type. We met after being paired together for a project in school.”

The two of you spend quite a bit of time just talking that night until you are joined again by some friends and it’s deadass like y’all weren’t just talking for almost an hour straight.

Getting Together

The process of getting together is like a cat and mouse game. You two start getting closer than friends and then something happens and you’re not talking for weeks. Whether it be life just getting busy, and then someone ending up on some random tinder date or so be it. Definitely one of those things were somehow someway y’all end up just hanging on one of your couches watching a movie. At some point there’s definitely a hint of sexual tension but neither of y’all act on it (later on you find on his finsta that he used to post several “i wont you 😔” memes Folks can’t tell if hes joking or not (hes not))

You probably gotta tell that man you like him so if that ain’t you I’m sorry. Y’all not dating 😹. It’s something casual, y’all going to pick up some snacks for a movie night and why this mf keep looking at you out the side of his eyes instead of the road. You def texting the groupchat asking if you should confess. They tell you to boss up and just do it baby.

You literally end up confessing in that parking lot. Like right when he shuts the car off and starts swinging his keys on his finger and you kinda just blurt “I like you. Like like you.” He just kinda nods before his eyes widen. “Wait are you fr?” Like no you’re joking tf. It gets a lil awkward so you just go to get out the car and he’s like “I like like you too.”

I definitely don’t think either of you ever officially asked the other out it’s just at some point the understanding that you two are a couple. Like when you’re hanging out just you two hes more touchy, and then y’all start kissing and holding hands at some point. Then when you’re with friends he almost exclusively sits next to you and your friends notice the whispers in one another’s ears at the loud bar that seem just a hint too intimate for ppl who are just friends. Then y’all start arriving and leaving places together and people just at some point get the message (it’s later confirmed by you tweeting some shit like: I hate Rin why is that mf my boyfriend)

As far as anniversaries y’all draw straws to pick a day in the ballpark of the time y’all both think you became official. That’s the day you stick with even if it’s not true.

Relationship Flaws

A fault in the relationship is sunas kinda poor communication when it comes to things that matter. How he feels. Arguments. Love sure as hell don’t come east with anyone but when your partner won’t let you in? Yeah that’s like hell. That’s something you struggle with. And then on your end, it’s the impatience with him not letting you in. You try to wrongfully rush it.

There’s definitely been arguments that stem from him just being upset about something unrelated to the relationship then coming to you for comfort without actually telling you what’s wrong. He kinda just wants to lay with his head on his chest but at some point that’s not enough. Y’all are in a relationship and should be able to talk about your bad days too.

You’re not innocent in this issue either because sometimes it comes off too pushy. Yes it’s from a place of care but sometimes that silent comfort is necessary. The walls will break in due time and y’all both know that deep in the back of your minds But then there’s a part that’s like— yeah we can’t let this become the norm

“Rin, can you please talk to me”

He will have literally told you “whatever” and that he “can’t deal with this rn” several times as he just shrugs and is like yeah “I’m gonna just go home. I’ll text you later” with an awkward ass pat on your shoulder if it really ruined his mood. If he’s leaving before he gets super upset and uncomfortable just some half assed kiss in your cheek

Another thing is I feel like he could be passive aggressive and let’s be real other folks doing it causes you to do it to. Y’all probably drag eachother on your finstas where you can both see it lol

But when it comes to making up he cracks first and apologizes when he started it. Or as y’all get more comfy with communication. If it’s not anything major he’ll just hit you with a text like “I’m bored come hang”

More Relationship Things

I feel like he love/hates driving. Likes the ride not always driving though. So if you ever proposed a late night drive he’d be down (if you offer to drive). He does let y’all take his car though. He reclines the seat pretty far back. Alternates between just closing his eyes vibing w/ the music or kinda just looking at you (he the type of bf that makes u nervous no matter how long y’all been together)The way he looks at you makes you nervous cause that man is fine as hell and you can just feel his eyes on you.

He films you on Snapchat and sends the video to you like “you look hot”

If he’s not ‘resting his eyes’ he’s mumbling along to the music because he has the aux. if y’all music tastes are different he occasionally throws in something you really like bc he likes how you perk up at one of your fav songs

Moving on. Y’all dap eachother up after s3x because it’s “modern romance” (boy stfu). You two came up with a sex playlist together and it’s on both of your phones. Sometimes one of you will add a troll song that the other doesn’t know and put it in the lineup. (Stole my heart by 1D has definitely played before and you were practically in tears laughing at his reaction. That was one of those songs he was like ‘yeah alright i think we’re done).

At some point you two develop your own handshake and it’s cute. Whenever either of you have to travel without the other that’s always the last thing you do before you leave eachother. There’s vids of your friends daring y’all to do your elaborate ass handshake drunk and doesn’t matter what’s in your system, you both know it like the back of your hand.

I think he values quality time a lot so there’s so many nights where you’re both just chilling in his room just doing your own things. He could just be at his desk watching some game highlights and you’re just doing hw on his bed with your own earbuds in work all spread out and he’s content. He’s also attentive so if he calculates that you’ve been working too long he’ll just take ur earbud like “hey let’s go get something to eat.”

People definitely think he’s the lazy one in the relationship but it’s 100% not true. Like stated above, he’s very attentive and can pretty much gauge how you’re feeling in the blink of an eye. He knows when you need alone time but won’t go without reassuring you that he’s here whenever you’re ready. When you do just need him he’s there without a second thought. If you’re more touchy he’ll have your head in his lap his arm running up and down your as you tell him what’s wrong. He knows when to joke about a minor inconvenience and over the course of your relationship knows when to cut the jokes and be serious with you.

He’d never admit it but he knows your coffee order by heart (he keeps up his image my asking wtf do you get everytime. Just let him LOL). He the type to peek at what you plan on wearing and ‘accidentally’ color coordinate then pull some shit like “why are you copying me”

Y’all def shit talk together. See someone doing something completely out of pocket in public— straight to ur phones you go (pack it up shade room). To the public it just looks like you aren’t paying any attention to one another on your dates but y’all are. Just over the phone so u don’t piss off ur target 😌

Y’all are very comfy in your relationship that you just say stuff. Y’all don’t even think.

“Rin, what if i crashed us in this car rn 😹”

“Do it. Might be fun”

When you two finally move in together it’s almost like how your relationship starts. Slowly more and more spares of stuff for you end up at his. He does sorta make the move near the end of your lease and is just like “you’re here more than me anyways.” (hes nervous but swears he’s not. Bby you’re literally shaking). Him moving you in is like hell. This mf takes sooooo long to help with boxes. Picks up 1 then sits for like 15 minutes. You ask for help the first few times and he’s just like “I got you” while continuing to scroll his phone.

Sleepy Shoulder kisses in the mornings. Only form a greeting you get but it’s ok

this is like my 100th dating suna hc and im still going this is SICK. it was so hard to not drop old refs bc i still believe in them 100% yes i do!!!!

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu imagine #suna imagines #hq imagines #haikyuu headcanons

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