#it's a colour that i generally associate as 'not mine'

[sisaloofafump]

Not beating the allegations <- immediately becomes attached to purple-themed comic characters

[djuvlipen]

The other day I was getting drinks with a couple of (female) coworkers of mine (not really coworkers, it's just that we're all working/volunteering in the same association), and we were talking about how one of the little Romani girls I help with school work was being made fun of by her relatives because she likes sports and plays football with friends (they call her "manly" and "unladylike"). So I, being a bit tipsy, kind of started rambling about how sexist Romani culture is (both my coworkers know I'm Sinti). I started talking about how Romani girls are raised from day 1 to prioritize men before our own lives and interests, that it is true that Romani culture is more conservative and more overtly sexist than my country's majority culture.

And then these two white women replied saying I was generalizing, I couldn't speak for all Roma, that what I'm saying doesn't apply to every Romani family, that some Roma aren't sexist. That I couldn't say Romani culture was generally more conservative because every culture is sexist, so Roma can't be more sexist than Gadje.

There's that thing among white feminists where they are so scared of being called racist that they'd rather speak over minority women, argue with a point I wasn't even trying to make in the first place, and ignore the issues Romani women and girls face because of the sexism we face from our culture as well as from white society. White feminists would rather ally with men of colour and ignore the struggles women of colour face, because it's not as rewarding to ally themselves with us; they are too scared of what antiracist men would think if they actually supported women of colour against both sexism and racism. Anyway, it was a very frustrating interaction

[quixtrix]

the significance of blue - a somewhat analysis on the lost temple cult

the heretic katana skin jus got shown to the general public and the detail that stands out to me the most is the fact that katana's horns are dyed blue. teal blue is the colour motif of the church of the lost eye, and the fact that they go as far as to make members dye their horns for this blue is very interesting! let's get into why I think they do this and more about the church of the true eye :P

for starters, i am an art history nerd, i'm going into uni for an art history related major, and took an art history class. these are my credentials before you tell me im insane (but also i am overanalysing phighting rn so maybe i am insane). pls dont like. kill me for overanalysing actually i jus really like doing this kinda thing lol dont read if you dont wanna hear me yapping

with that being said, in history, blue has been historically associated with wealth and religion. this is due to the fact that blue, specifically cobalt blue, is difficult to mine, and because a deep rich blue such as cobalt blue doesn't have an easy alternative for the colour. the standard of ur for exactly is a symbol of wealth because of the amount of blue that it uses.

on the religion side, or at least in abrahamic religions (i cannot currently remember if hinduism or buddhism treasures blue like that), blue is associated with heaven. obviously because the sky is blue and what not, but also because it represents the spirit of god. this may also be because of the aforementioned difficulty of acquiring blue, but religious figures and buildings use blue a lot, enhancing the association with blue and religion.

this all fits in line with the lost temple, which 1. is a place of wealth 2. the largest religious organisation we've seen in phighting. blue fits them, analysis done and dusted.

wrong. i woulda let this slide if we didn't establish that dying your horns is a way to express oneself in phighting.

look at all the members for me real quick, look at their horns.

yeah i included dollmaker mainly bc it said on the wiki shes in the cult. shes not apart of this analysis tho sorry dollmaker fans.

all various shades of blue! specifically teal and dark blue. whether it be dye or not, it's something noteworthy.

i wanna point out that it's said that medkit and katana both share the same shade of teal. yknow what else that medkit and katana share that's related to the church?

only mention of biological family on med's side btw. also, since he was born with teal horns its smth of note.

and then katana has a brother. this is literally in dialogue.

yknow what's a big thing in the church of the true eye? family. their whole schtick is being a whole big family. honestly, katana might not even have a biological brother if my assumption on how the cult's rankings work.

basically, the highest figure we know in the cult, whether he be the head of it or jus a real high ranking figure, is referred to as 'the father.'

it's not a stretch to assume that the hierarchy within the cult is based off of a family. those who are the lowest are referred to as the acolytes (i assume they are the lowest because the broker refers to them as a whole and not individuals), those who are higher may possibly referred to with more traditional family titles such as 'brother' or 'sister' or even possibly 'mother.' it would make sense given the fact that they're literally big on the family thing. why would you call the whole thing family if you won't do the silly culty thing with the brother and sister thing within the cult do you hate love and joy and fun??? (obviously matches are a different thing entirely, but i feel like outside of the phighters we see, the reputation of being a cult family as opposed to jus some weird ass cult obviously had to come from somewhere. besides, reserving titles such as brother and sister for higher ranking officials would show significance).

i highlight the fact that katana and medkit have the same shade of teal because colour is so significant in the cult. broker, medkit, and katana look to have similar uniforms in terms of build and colour, with katanas being kinda an inverse of broker's. they all seem to work underneath scythe as well, with scythe in a white uniform and more gold, appearing to be more wealthy and have influence in the cult. while she also has teal horns, it's darker than katana and medkit's, and i don't have enough information to gather what that darker shade of teal could really mean.

but regardless, teal horns in the context of the church of the true eye can possibly mean literal familial connection. that's one possibility. we're going through possibilities of the meanings of the colours right now. i say this because medkit would have most likely been fucked if he didn't have the familial connection to the church because from what we've seen, going to another faction is not a real welcome thing to do. and then katana's horns are clearly dyed that specific teal, when he hasn't dyed his horns red at all. he could have had them dyed like broker's darker blue, but they're not.

teal horns could also jus be a cult thing and broker's jus being the lil weirdo he is. but i jus can't let go of the fact that medkit's horns and katana's horns are basically the same colour. it's been bothering me. it's why im here yapping right now. honestly i wish i could also explain why dollmaker or scythe has tealish horns as well, (with the lil bits on both of their horns sticking out!) but i jus don't have enough info on dollmaker.

anyways, since i'm already talking about katana's and medkit's horns, let's talk about that little gold ring on both of their horns.

horn decoration has mostly been seen as, once again, expression, but historically irl jewellery has a lot of significance culturally and religiously. first thing that comes to mind is the stretching of the ear lobes, which is associated with status and religion (think the buddha.) within the world of phighting, we rarely if ever see jewellery on horns outside of the cult. honestly i jus assumed that medkit was cunty but with the large gold piece on heretic katana's horn, it has to have more significance.

also. why are they on the same side. i know that the right side and the left side have meanings within abrahamic religions (eg. muslims not using their left hands to eat or drink because of the devil, 'the right hand of the father' being because the right hand of god is metaphor for his omnipotence) but i don't have enough info for the ring. it could mean that you were accepted as more than an acolyte within the cult, or again, the family tie, but there's jus nothing at the time of writing this that i can figure out. it's a bit frustrating. it could jus mean they're wealthy though

anyways, i think that's all my thoughts on the church of the true eye. i actually have a small idea on who the deity the church worships, but also i feel like that's like theorising who's the in universe jesus christ (because the church unironically can be compared to christianity. i might make another yap sesh on that.) so i didn't go into it in here lol. tell me all ur thoughts nd feelings on this, my askbox is open :P

[blueishspace]

Last Life with divine domains

Part 1: Rules and Domains.

Rules:

Last Life mechanics but everyone has an origin that assigns them a divine domain with powers and abilities.

Lizzie, Mumbo and Pearl will have completely randomized domains... for the other players they will have a domain that is connected in some way to the one they had in this version of Third Life.

For example In Third Life Scott's domain was Ice, possible domains for him could be: winter (as the season of ice), snow biomes, water (as ice is just a state of water) or crystals (as ice is a crystal)... I put these in a wheel and randomly choose one.

Possible Domains

In here are the possible domains they could have gotten. In [] is their 3rd Life domain.

BdoubleO - [Light] - Day, Sun, Colour, Lamps & torches.

BigB - [Weaving and Armor] - Protection, Warmth, Farm animals, Fate (as weaving is associated with it).

Cleo - [Stagnation] - Change (as opposite), Swamps (as biome of stagnation), Stone (as considered immutable).

Etho - [Darkness] - Night, Shadows, Depths, The Void, Mist, Secrets, Mobs.

Impulse - [Iron & Gold] - Ores & Caves, Copper & Amethyst, Redstone, Diamonds, Tools.

Grian - [Memory & Knowledge] - Perception, Wisdom, Books, Truth, Sight.

Jimmy - [Forests] - Jungles, Swamps, Deserts, Mountains, Snow biomes ecc (as all other biomes), Wilderness, Wood work, Nature.

Joel - [Ground] - Sand, Stone, Plains & Fields, Mountains, Caves, Nature, Compost, Agricolture, Earth.

Martyn - [Justice & Punishment] - Goverment, Law & Rules, Execution, Revenge, Power.

Ren - [Pain & Sorrow] - Regret, Desolation & Loneliness, Grief, Fear.

Scar - [Paths & Roads] - Travel, Merchants and Commerce, Connection, Rivers (as water roads).

Scott - [Ice]. - Winter, Water, Crystals.

Skizz - [Wither & Decay] - Destruction, Death, Poison, Regeneration & Rebirth.

Tango - [Coal & Flame.] - Fire & Forge, The Nether, The Hearth & Campfires, Energy.

Domains

And this is the list with the chosen domains including the new players.

BdoubleO - Day.

BigB - Farm animals.

Cleo - Change.

Etho - Mist.

Impulse - Diamonds.

Grian - Sight. (Wow, the randomizer is a watcher Grian truther)

Jimmy - Wilderness.

Joel - Mountains.

Lizzie - Storms.

Martyn - Law & Rules.

Mumbo - War. (Poor Mumbo)

Pearl - Spring. (Persephone and Pearl both start with P)

Ren - Fear.

Scar - Connections.

Scott - Winter.

Skizz - Poison.

Tango - The Hearth & Campfires.

Powers

BdoubleO - Permanent +1 level of Smite and Bane of Arthropods. I Resistance II during the day. Nearby spiders are pacified. Zombies and Skeletons don't spawn within 70 blocks from him. Ability 1 reverts a targeted zombie villager or witch into a normal villager. Ability 2 blesses another player with Resistance II during the day. Shifting deactivates the 70 block radius no mobs zone.

BigB - Looting II against passive mobs. Breeding mobs generate 2 children. Trown eggs deal punch damage. Van ride horses and pigs without befriending them and without saddles. Ability 1 summons 5 passive random mobs. Ability 2 turns passive mobs against specific targets. When shifting baby animals instantly become adults.

Cleo - Passive Regeneration I. Passive Speed I. x10 random tick speed in a 30 block radius from them. Negative potions effects last 50% less. Ability 1 rapidly drains targets hunger and armor durability. Every 10 minutes ability 2 turns a targeted block to a different random block. Shifting causes their name to change colour.

Etho - Passive Speed II. Name is invisible even when not shifted. Resistance to fire and lava damage. Semi-transparent. Ability 1 gives a target the blindness effect. Ability 2 sets everyone's render distance to 0. When shifting players closer then 10 blocks have their render view set to 0.

Impulse - Resistance I and Regen I when wearing diamonds. Haste II when using diamond tools. x2 diamonds when mining ore. Villagers trade with diamonds instead of emeralds. Ability 1 creates diamond spikes in a 3 block radius. Ability 2 turns the player into diamond (Protection IV) for 3 seconds. Shifting near a player will steal part of the diamonds they might have in their inventory.

Grian - Health is shown on top of entities. Passive Night vision. Sees exclamation marks on top of trapped chests and tnt minecarts. At the start of each session he knows how many boogeyman are active, not who, just how many. Ability 1 turns wood, grass and leaves invisible for a few seconds. Ability 2 gives Invisibility for a few seconds. Shifting gives access to a mini map.

Jimmy - Regen II when touching leaves, flowers, ferns, or tall grass. Untamed Wolves and Foxes closer then 5 blocks are tamed automatically. Tall grass and ferns have a small chance of dropping loot when harvested. When hit spawns 2 bees to defend him. Ability 1 bonemeals a large area without needing bonemeal. Ability 2 turns wolves tamed by other players into Jimmy's pets. Invisible when hiding (shifting) on trees or in tall grass.

Joel - Speed I and Strenght I while in extreme hills and mountain biomes. Passive Feather falling II. Additional Resistance at very high altitudes. Bigger reach. Ability 1 creates a rock wall to stop entities. Ability 2 creates a rock platform that raises the user. Shifting gives additional extra reach.

Lizzie - Permanent Jump Boost III and Feather Falling I. 5% chance of summoning lightning when hitting enemies. Resistance I and Regen I during rain and storms. Immunity to fire, blast and lightning damage. Ability 1 summons rain or storm weather. Ability 2 pushes entities far away. When shifting becomes a lightning rod.

Martyn - Protection II against players with more or equal number of lives. Isn't forced to leave his alliance once red. Access to a list of every life trade. Strenght I against Boogeymen. Ability 1: At the beginning session Martyn is given 5 rules to choose from, the rule chosen is applied for the whole session. Ability 2 summons an iron golem against mobs. When shifting has a chance of blocking hits.

Mumbo - Passive +1 level of Efficiency and +2 levels of Sharpness when using weapons. Passive +1 levels of protection on armor. Defending with a shield has a 20% counter attack chance. When shooting arrows a marker will point where the arrow will hit. Ability 1 gives Strenght II and Speed II but decreases Health (like a weird barbarian rage). Ability 2 is just a dash, makes up for it by having very short cool down. Shifting reduces damage taken.

Pearl - Permanent Speed I and Jump Boost I. Regen II while nearby flowers or on moss. No hunger loss while under the sun (photosyntesis). Can eat flowers and get a random positive effect for a few seconds. Ability 1 creates roots under targets causing them to fall. Ability 2 sprays pollen at enemy giving them random negative effects. Shifting bonemeals nearby blocks.

Ren - Strenght II during the night and in light levels of 0. Endermen and creepers are scared away. Speed I when running after an entity. Access to a mob noises soundboard. Ability 1 freezes entites in fear for a few seconds. Ability 2 gives Blindness and Nausea to a target. Gives Nausea to nearby entities when shifting.

Scar - Speed I on path blocks. Faster when riding Horses and boats. Protection II when near other players. +4 max health (2 hearts). Ability 1: At the beginning of every Scar chooses two players, they will share health for the whole session (if he links himself with another player they will also have 2 extra hearts). Ability 2: Every session Scar can gift a life without losing one of his own (any other life gifted will cause him to lose one though). Shifting gives Regeneration I to himself AND nearby entities.

Scott - Resistance to fire and blast damage. Passive Frost Walker and much in the same way Lava becomes obsidian. Regen II when standing on snow or ice. Snowballs thrown do as much damage as a punch. Ability 1 trows a barrage of snowballs like a machine gun. Ability 2: Once a session can change a 64x64 area into a snow plains biome... Shifting toggles off The Frost Walker effect.

Skizz - Immunity to Poison, Hunger and Wither damage. Rotten flesh gives 3 extra hunger. 20% of poisoning entities. 20% of giving Nausea to entities. Ability 1 trows a lingering poison potion. Ability 2 summons a cave spider. Shifting gives Nausea to nearby entities.

Tango - Resistance to fire and blast damage. Strenght I and Regen II when near campfires. Permanent Night vision. Can eat coal and wood to gain hunger. Ability 1 heals either himself or another entity. Ability 2 trows a burning ember at a target. Shifting causes smoke to appear but causes any attacker to a catch on fire.

Consequences for permadeath

Permadeath influences the domains assigned negatively.

BdoubleO - Day lasts half as long.

BigB - Chickens, sheeps, pigs and cows are stuck at half an heart and don't drop loot.

Cleo - Slower regeneration.

Etho - -50% render distance.

Impulse - -50% durability to diamond gear.

Grian - -50% render distance.

Jimmy - All leaves blocks disappear, Nausea in forests or taiga biomes.

Joel - Grass turns into course dirt, Slowness I when touching course dirt.

Lizzie - Weather is set to rain forever.

Martyn - Red lives lose 2 max health.

Mumbo - Weapons deal less damage and Armor protects less.

Pearl - All flowers are replaced by wither roses.

Ren - Nights last twice as long and are darker

Scar - Life trading stops working.

Scott - Snow and ice disappear, Weakness I when in cold biomes.

Skizz - All mobs have a chance of inflicting poison.

Tango - Campfires, torches and lanterns stop working

Third Life

Next Part

(hi @shortystack75 and @easily-distracted-by-fandom I started the sequel)

[borninwinter81]

Nature-goth(?) jacket

I thrifted this jacket recently, and although it isnt my usual black I absolutely love it. Olive green is one of my favourite colours (I love green in general TBH).

Because of the colour I had the idea to make it nature themed, but I also want to try and keep it "on brand" as a friend of mine puts it, with a dark thread running through the nature vibe. Is this what the young folks call goblincore? Dark cottagecore? Something like that anyway.

Autumn is my favourite season and I thought the associated colour palette of browns, oranges, yellows and greens could work really well for this. I had a piece of quilting fabric that was made up of panels of pumpkins (which of course make most people think of Halloween) and leaves, so I cut one of those out to put on the back. It's very big, but if I get any other large back patches in the future I'll probably overlap them onto it.

On the front all I have for now is this Ulver patch which I made with iron-on printer transfer paper. I love Ulver and this album (Shadows of the Sun) has the Stag as its artwork which gives the nature connection, but the music whilst not goth is very dark and the lyrics are all themed around death and loss.

Finally, a pigeon patch by Katie Whittle. No particular reason for this one except that I like pigeons 😁

I don't have anything else to go on it yet, but my ideas for future things to add include mushrooms, frogs and toads, turtles, octopi, moths, creepy crawlies and so on. Further posts will happen as I update it!

[that-ari-blogger]

One Last Hurrah (I'm Not That Girl (Reprise), As Long As You're Mine)

Those who are familiar with my blog will know that I don't particularly agree with the concept of genre. I think it is restrictive, and the dynamicism of storytelling makes it less important for writers than the general public is aware for.

Wicked backs up my claim, I think. The opening number is a booming epic that Glinda switches to a more quiet tragedy, at which point the first act becomes a love story set in a boarding school. The second act mirrors this, slightly, crashing in with a full scale war that Glinda again pushes back to a love story. That same love story and love triangle then takes precedent in act two. Until it abruptly doesn't.

As Long As You're Mine is the finale of the romance arc of this story, and it centres around enjoying the life you have before change takes effect. Although, the romance is a love triangle, Elphaba and Fiyero get a song, but Glinda? Where does her romance end?

With Elphaba. The love story of this musical ends with Glinda thinking of Elphaba.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, Dead Poet Society)

"Don't wish, don't start Wishing only wounds the heart There's a girl I know He loves her so I'm not that girl"

Well gee, this looks familiar.

This is an interesting case of thematic association. Because on it's own, I'm Not That Girl (Reprise) isn't really that important or interesting. It's a nice melody about unrequited love, which is heartfelt and everything, but not really saying much.

But the word's "on it's own" are doing a lot of heavy lifting in that paragraph. This song is the reprise of an earlier number by the same name, and that means all of the meaning from that song gets carried over to this, and it gets to give its own take on those themes, which is interesting.

In the internet world of oversimplification and memes, one will probably come across the idea that teachers overanalyse things. The "the curtains are blue because he likes the colour blue" joke. The weird thing is, this joke is correct, but it misses the point entirely.

Yes, overanalysing media is exactly what folks like me do. Technically, you don't need to engage with anything more than the baseline of what you have been shown. If your takeaway from blue curtains is that the owner likes the colour blue, go for it, nobody is stopping you, and that is perfectly reasonable. The key, is that that approach is not inherently more or less valuable than an overanalytical one.

I will wager that blue curtains will evoke a certain emotion in you. Maybe they are a deep blue, like the night just before dawn, giving you a tired, more chill vibe. Maybe they are much lighter, like the sky, giving a more youthful atmosphere. Or maybe they do not match with the rest of the room at all, to comedic or unsettling effect.

The point I am making is that subtext exists, and you don't have to dwell on it, but its a vital part of how communication works. It's also usually a majour factor in engagement. So, at the very least, acknowledging it will help you understand why you do or don't like certain stories.

Once again, I turn to PBS's Wicked In Concert and recommend the versions of these songs from that. This version of I'm Not That Girl (Reprise) is sung by Gabrielle Ruiz, and is really good.

For the moment, however, I'd like to conduct a thought experiment. Imagine that Wicked is actually happening. This is a world where people spontaneously break into song and this isn't weird.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to make up a song once, let alone mimic a song that you were not present for?

In universe, there is only two ways Glinda would know this song. Either she overheard Elphaba pining, or Elphaba sang it to her. Take that as you will.

Exiting that thought experiment and back into overanalysing things because it is fun. I have another post about I'm Not That Girl and it's thematic implications (link), so check that out if it interests you, it will form a background for what I am saying here.

Essentially, I'm Not That Girl is the Jolene of musical theatre. It is a song about resignation, but it's core idea is this: Elphaba doesn't think of herself as beautiful or deserving of love. The person she associates with those qualities is Glinda herself. The song is essentially a biromantic heartbreak, when both of Elphaba's love interests love each other, and she can't bring herself to break that for either of them. That is the meaning ascribed to this song and these notes.

Now, Glinda sings the same melody, and it is suddenly flipped. She realises she has been outplayed in the romance game, but she can't bring herself to break it apart for either Fiyero, or Elphaba. The audience doesn't need to hear the same song again, just the highlight reel to let them know that these same emotions are being felt.

The song then cuts off, and is replaced by a much more active, much more passionate number, As Long As You're Mine. The meaning of which has been summed up best by my flatmate. "Reject society, bonk in a hedge".

That is kind of the entire point of this song, though, isn't it? Living in the moment in total freedom. It is proof that Elphaba isn't crazy, that there are others who see her dream, and that even if this goes wrong, the story will end with her happy.

Full disclaimer, I am asexual, so I cannot comment on the more intimate subtext of this song. I am aware it is happening, but I would rather stay away from the specific thematic significance of that, if that is ok.

The transition of this song comes through that repeated low note. It is hammered, like a war drum, and it drives home that urgency and collision of the two plots. This is the moment in which the musical goes from a romance to an epic, and that rhythm is a threat of what is to come.

Although it is notable that the swaying melodies of Elphaba and Fiyero overpower this drum, their love holding off the inevitable. Specifically, the instrument hitting the note changes from a piano to what my, admittedly lacking, musical knowledge thinks is a bass guitar. (Music scholars, please correct me on any of this). That change means that the heavy beat becomes distorted and stretched, as if time is stretching out.

"And just for this moment As long as you're mine I've lost all resistance And crossed some borderline. And if it turns out It's over too fast I'll make every last moment last As long as you're mine."

Would you look at that, there is even explicit lines in the song about stretching time out and seizing the day. Carpe Diem.

Dead Poet Society is one of the greatest films ever made, and that isn't just my Robin Williams bias speaking. Despite some elements that haven't aged well, the film is truly heart wrenching and has a meaning pretty similar to As Long As You're Mine.

As a side note, this film has a lot more similarities to Wicked than you think. It's about challenging unjust rules, and forging your own path. It's a film about personal freedom, essentially. Although it ends less than happily. It also has about the same amount of queer subtext as Wicked.

In any case, the central thematic of "Carpe diem, seize the day" tells its characters and its students to take life as it is, and live it to the fullest. It is about making the most out of limited time. Quite a lot like As Long As You're Mine.

The ending of Dead Poet Society is a tragedy. It ends with the death of a student and the loss of the teacher's job. But it also ends with hope. Things change in Dead Poet Society. The Latin teacher shifts up his lesson, the boys actually learn, and the "Oh captain, my captain" scene is synonymous with looking at the past and making the future better because of, and in spite of it.

That's a familiar ending, isn't it. The main character dies, and the people in their life resolve to make the world better because of the life they lived. In Wicked, the death isn't permanent, because this is a gospel and no main character in a gospel can ever stay dead for more than a few days.

That motif of making time last is reflected in the music as well. Each stanza has a squash and stretch thing going on with the formation. The triplet brings the three notes within together and plays them faster than is normal, making them feel like they are stumbling over each other, falling forwards, until that held note at the end evens out the pace. Things are moving quickly, but it is a conscious decision. to slow down.

Those held notes also create a feeling of clarity in the music. Once again, music knowledge ain't my forte, but to me, this seems like it is working in a similar fashion to key frame animation. Each held note is the crux of the phrase, and the rest is just making up the difference.

Which means that there is a neat little progression going on here. The first phrase, "kiss me too fiercely" contains two, a B flat on "fierce" and an octave fall to another B flat on "ly", as Elphaba tries to fly away, but is brought back down. Then there is the F on "tight", and the E flat on the latter third of "believing", before the stanza links back to B flat for "tonight".

This, according to google, forms a B flat chord with a suspended fourth, which loops back on itself to form a stable, self-enclosed sentence that descends to keep itself together.

The second phrase operates within the same notes but changes the inflection slightly.

That last note creates an upward inflection to prepare the audience for the chorus, rising into it to set up a crashing theme of power and freedom that... doesn't arrive yet.

Instead, we get the same notes repeated, mostly. It's a quiet moment, an E flat that rises to an F for "borderline", then to a high C for "fast", before resolving back to F and then down to a lower C.

Ok music scholars help me with this please. The sheet music that I have found for this song (link) claims the second part of "fast" is a C flat, which my piano app tells me doesn't exist. Any clarification on this would be really nice.

In short, this is understated, and this isn't the first time we've heard an understated first chorus in a Wicked love song, is it? That's how the first chorus of Defying Gravity sits, before Glinda joins Elphaba and pushes her to new confidence.

Which leads me back to my point. Elphaba relies on other people, she needs Fiyero to comfort her, but also to prove she is right. That's the moment she is cherishing.

When Fiyero joins in, he literally makes the song more hopeful by changing the key signature from E flat majour to C majour. He is more graceful and easy with this. He is the rock that Elphaba is anchored to and that supports her.

As such, that final chorus looks like this:

"Just for this moment. As long as you're mine. Come be how you want to, and see how bright we shine. Borrow the moonlight, until it is through. And know I'll be here holding you. as long as you're mine."

Freedom. Come be how you want to, I'll be there to support you. This is a musical about dreams and reality colliding, and this song is the victory lap of things going well. One small dream has become real, that being the desire for love. And if one is possible, what else can Elphaba do?

On a related note, if Fiyero is the rock that grounds and supports her, what might happen if he is taken away?

FINAL THOUGHTS

Bear with me. Chord analysis is new to me, so if that was completely false, please let me know. As a behind the curtain thing, this blog exists as a place for my hyper fixations to breathe, but also to help me learn more about this whole analytical thing. So, any advice from people who are more knowledgeable than me would be greatly appreciated.

You may note that I didn't talk that much about Fiyero, and there is a reason for that. Honestly, I don't think Fiyero's character in the second act of this musical is that interesting. I'm sure there is lots to talk about with him, but to me, he has been reduced to "love interest for the main character", which I find less captivating as "jock on the verge of an existential breakdown". That's just my opinion.

Next week, I will be looking at No Good Deed, the first true clash of dreams and reality, and Elphaba's breaking point. So stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[dateless-bar]

I'm glad there's finally an ENG dubbed version! I thought it might be easier for people to watch the video that way.

The video is dubbed in English with English subtitles. If you want to hear my Chinese dub, you can find another version on my YouTube page.

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In this video, I explore the colour meanings of Ultramarines over the past 40 years from the perspective of art history and paint colour changes.

Part.1 The First Citadel Colour Blue and before that

The blue of the Ultramarines is arguably one of the most famous and iconic colours in WH40k. Some players, when asked the broad question, "What's your favourite colour?" will specifically answer: Macragge Blue. For those new to WH painting, it's one of the first colours they'll encounter. However, for more seasoned painting enthusiasts, the history of this colour in model painting is much longer and richer.

The CC Paints we use today—often referred to as GW paints—are, broadly speaking, already in their fifth generation.

Part.2 Blue in Art History

The term "Ultramarine" we use today is made up of "Ultra" and "marine." In WH publishing from 40 years ago, the term "Ultra-marine" often appeared in contrast to "Space-marine." However, in art history, this combination of words means "blue that comes from across the sea." During the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, this exceptionally rare colour was only obtainable from quarries in what is now Afghanistan. The difficulty in mining, grinding, purifying, and mixing the pigment further increased its value, making it considered an extremely rare and precious pigment at the time.

Part.3 The Human Perception of Blue

Language and ideology influence our perception and recognition of colours to a certain extent, while human neurological organs have not changed that drastically.

This may also mean that 30 millennia from now, the colours that ordinary humans who have not been genetically modified will be able to see will be no different from what we see today, but the perception of colour and culture may change over these years.

Part.4 The Blue after That...

Perceptions subtly influence creative expression. The design of the Ultramarines corresponds to the post-medieval era’s association with blue. Despite its harsh origin, "blue blood" now colloquially refers to noble lineage. "True blue," originating from Scottish history, signifies loyalty and steadfastness. In courtly literature-influenced wedding customs, blue accessories are seen as symbols of honour and honesty. Even "blue laws," referring to strict regulations, echo the Ultramarines' disciplined and serious demeanour. In novels featuring the Ultramarines, they are depicted as possessing unwavering will, unyielding loyalty, and fighting for honour. The colour blue in creative use and public perception has long intertwined with this familiar legion.

For more on this, check out the video : )

[squidslugs-art]

anybody else up completely redesigning the cast of one of their stories to make it original and not a pokemon universe based one

no? just me? shame

(tawny | nutmeg | hibiscus sarsaparilla | firecracker | stripes clawin | glare | arkea)

thoughts and philosphys behind their design changes and such below the cut!

tawny: borderline unchanged! besides a little bit of change to his ear markings and removal of all plusle association. and thank god because fuck those plus tails man. but his design is so strong i couldnt really change a whole lot - thank you 2020 wheat for making such a good design!

tawnys scars however got a HEAVY redesign them make them look more intense. those lame scratches from before did not come from a dragon. added a bit more spread out to his neck too for a big bite mark across the back of his neck. i kept his usual trouble with opening that eye over because i think its iconic and much more interesting than just keeping it closed or removing it

also he limps now. he broke his leg in the attack too and didnt rest it properly so it didnt heal properly. i decided against giving that a visual indicator because i dont think it would really have one logically - this isnt a cinderpelt situation, he broke it by landing at a poor angle and then didnt let it heal properly, so it wouldnt really be scratched up or be twisted in any way.

nutmeg/lewis: a name change to match some new lore about rabbits (naming them after stuff they'd know about instead of human names) and also because as much as i liked the name lewis, it felt very strange having it stand out as the super different name in the family

otherwise? also borderline unchanged besides a few new and recoloured markings to make them a little more unique from his brother. they arent twins or anything man. nothing else to say about it really, hes literally the same guy as before basically.

hibiscus: a complete design overhaul, although using the philosphy of her old design; she still looks like shes related to her kids without looking like a carbon copy like the old design. i wanted her to appear as Parent with only a few shared traits with her kids instead of all of them. you can see what they inherited from her and what they didnt instead of them being borderline clones of hibiscus

i leaned heavier into the pinks and making her lighter than her children (sunnyside warren is mostly dark coated rabbits, so shes on the lighter side for them) and i tried to inspire a bit of a flower motif with her face marking, relating back to her name. i wanted to actually make her look a bit like the flower in general

continues to be the only character in shattered glass with an accessory! i couldnt remove it. its iconic. and i made her future scars a little more obvious on her, although the design pictured is where she is early-story

sarsaparilla/elsa: a name change again for the reasons spoken of in nutmegs section, and also because of the unfortunate frozen association. i did not name them (they are from a very old rp and was the child of a character who was not mine)

a COMPLETE overhaul pretty much, going from poochyena to a jackalope of all things, making them the only fantasy animal in the story, although jackalopes are not regarded as such in universe (instead being considered a rare mutation of normal rabbits and are treated like and called rabbits). i thought it was fun as it makes their role as the soothsayer of the warren more standout in their design by giving them a very unique trait. im sure this special treatment given to them because of it implies nothing.

this was because becoming a xenofiction story, the implication of going 1-1 with their pokemon species and making them a wolf of some sort felt... contridictary with their role, so i completely overhauled them from a young-ish wolf to a elderly jackalope, old and wise and full of wisdom and future visions, for sure. i managed to keep a little bit of that old design intact with their markings and colours though, as a little nod to poochyena my friend poochyena

firecracker/jenga: so the backstory around sunnyside warren, the home of all of the rabbits we've seen so far, is that they struck a deal with stoats that moved into the area to stop them from hunting them. these stoats are firecrackers parents.

previously a mightyena/braxian hybrid, i wanted to go a completely different route for jenga. i dont know why i gravitated to the stoat family, it just slotted in... perfectly. they had been slated to have been a childhood friend of tawny and nutmeg before drawing away after nutmegs death and ultimately going missing entirely, i felt like slotting them into the role of the future guardian of the warren kept the reason for them to interact with the siblings since theyre of similar age while providing inheritant conflict that would keep them further apart when they get a bit older despite their shared experiences.

so! a changed name for a new stoat name custom (named after more human concepts) and basically the exact same colours with a different set of markings to give that firecracker name good reason. i think they came out SUPER solid and cute i love it sooo much

fun fact: i initially planned for it to have the black as a base with white and orange markings, but after colouring the rabbits first i realized that white would look nice as a contrast against the darker coats of the warren, and i think that was a good call.

stripes: OH BOY. the hardest of all the designs in here to figure out. ve was the only one i hadnt settled on a species on when i started sketching these about a month ago and i still didnt until about a week ago - i initially planned on vem being a pegasus, and playing around with the exact design of pegasi in the universe (they were going to be quite bulky and designed for mountain environments, and their wings were going to be more for gliding than flying), but in the end i felt this didnt suit xem, even if this meant ditching the wings from their design for reasons ill get into in arkeas section

i knew i wanted her to be big, and i didnt want to make xem a predator of some sort, so i was kind of stuck with either monkey, marsupial or large herbivore. i am NOT drawing a monkey and i couldnt think of a marsupial that really fit vem, so after much messing around i settled on mountain goat.

xer colours stayed effectly the same, but i converted their "stripes" into sort of a patched classic tabby cat appearance. im not really sure why i did that, honestly i just thought of it randomly and thought it looked good. ve didnt have many markings before so i just started throwing stuff around until something stuck. some early concepts leaned more pink and orange calico markings or doing a cloud theme.

also, a missing leg, because i realized lately that i have a habit of making all my disabled characters anthro animals that fly who have a flight-related disability. while a fun idea to play with (coming up with the way flight aids would work, the ways a flight disability would effect someone in a flight-based society, etc), pegasus!stripes had this instead of the leg at the time, and then i realized my trend and wanted to make it something that was more grounded in real disabilities instead of making them all based in traits we, as humans, dont have.

CLAWIN: ohh. clawin clawin clawin. im so glad i went for a redesign angle on this story purely for him - i love minun, its one of my favourite pokemon, but that yellow looked so FUCK UGLY on him man. this design i did in one take, and i nailed it i think. its such a huge glow up im so proud of how it came out

first, his eyes, which i consider one of his most important traits - i kept over his weird heterochromia, although instead of giving him an unexplained blank red eye (leftover from when clawin was evil and the reincarnation of a dead character), i gave him a broken iris. coming from a concussion he had earlier in life, his vision is blurry in that eye as a result. its a fun way to keep his "strange looking" red eye while it having a reason to exist. not that i minded him having a random evil looking red eye, but i think its more fun to base it in realism.

i especially am fond of making him a hare instead of a rabbit, making him tower above most of the rest of the cast and giving me the option of making the guy ive always written as being very limited in his expressions (its probably autism now instead of being emotionally repressed) a little more creepy factor by leaning into hares really freaky eyes. not seriously or wahtever, but i think it gets weird when he stares at you for too long.

in general tawny and clawin are meant to contrast eachother as characters, and i wanted to match that design-wise too, which i think i finally succeeded with here. tawny being soft, round and sweet looking and clawin being long, lanky and a little scary looking, despite tawny being full of hate and clawin being nice to a fault.

GLARE: just like stripes, just a complete overhaul for them. again, 1-1-ing an umbreon, especially for the character who is romantically involved with clawin, felt strange for their dynamic. i ended up landing on a flying fox for him instead, since it still kept the 1-1 in concept (being a flying fox instead of just a fox) and its a lot more fun to get a little more out there with the species, especially in a story of mostly rabbits. i can see them being awkward going forward in terms of anatomy and interacting with other characters as a result, but i think it was a good choice and made glare, one of the less inspired designs in the cast before, far more visually interesting

i ended up keeping the umbreon yellow around though, although with a leaning into a heavier purple for the base and some new markings. i think it came out really nice in the end, although i did basically make up the markings on the fly instead of keeping any of their old ones (but they were just a normal umbreon, so...)

i did, for some reason, go the lineless fur effect, especially around the mane, something that i spring for occassionally to give "puffball fuzzy" as the texture im going for. i basically did this on vibes too. this whole design was just kind of winging it to completely remake glare from the ground up with little to no reference to their old design really.

ARKEA: ohhh boy. arkeas previous design was as equally as uninspired as glares and i think got thrown out EVEN MORE than glares too. at least glare shares yellow in common in umbreon. you wouldnt guess what pokemon arkea was before if you didnt know already (its an eevee)

i threw everything out but the kitchen sink and decided to add the only BIG carnivore of the series - a komodo dragon! a total overhaul from the previous design, which is what i wanted, with colours and markings inspired by chinese water dragons to finally give them the unique look theyve deserved for YEARS. being the """villain""" figure (not really but thats spoilers), i wanted to make them all big and imposing to contrast on them kind of being a bit pathetic, as the guy whos going around kidnapping and abusing people because they want the rabbit to kill a guy for them and/or teach them how to kill that guy.

being rebuilt from the ground up meant that theres no major philosphy behind their redesign to the new one though - i literally just made a whole new character with 0 relation outside of name really. i picked green because they were the last one i coloured and green was the colour i didnt use at all for the rest of the cast, so i just rolled with it, and thats pretty much it.

anyway if you read this far: thank you for listening to my horrible ramblings, feel free to send any questions you might have about my freaks to my main blog @squidslugs, and let it be known that the flower images i used as background are selected for a reason and if you can figure out what they are they might tell you a little bit about said character. WINK.

[aty-art-blog]

Broomquet birthday Ace Trappola flowers meaning💐

I think the bouquet meaning of Ace might be a huge clue on his character development in chapter 7. Ily Ace💗

-Light pink roses convey a sense of comfort, femininity and grace. The pale pink color is commonly used to show gratitude for loved ones and sympathy for those who lost a loved one. 

Represents: Femininity, grace

Conveys feelings of: Comfort, gratitude, sympathy

When to use: Thank-yous, hardships, loss

(I can see this fitting for Yuu going back to it's word, and sympathy for diasomnia guys if Lilia goes away,,)

-Medium pink roses can be used to show appreciation for important people in your life. With their more vibrant color, they can also convey a sense of joy and celebration for special occasions.

Represents: Joy

Conveys feelings of: Appreciation, happiness

When to use: Thank-yous, congratulations

-The main meaning of lilac roses is life.

This rose variety is associated with eternity and long life. Generally speaking, the meaning behind the lilac rose is considered positive and symbolizes not just life, but also happiness, quality of life and health.

(Since there's only one lillac rose in the bouquet, I guess it could means also to live the only one life we have(?)

-Red gerbera flowers have a meaning of unconscious love or to be fully immersed and surrounded by love.

(I'M CRYING)

Also dark pink gerbera means "gratitude"

-Red dahlias are symbols of strength and power, perfect for sending to someone whenever they could use a little extra strength. For example, if they're unwell or about to go to a job interview. Red flowers in general tend to symbolise love and passion, and this is also true of red dahlias.

Red Dahlia flower symbolizes strength and power that we want to give to the person who is receiving this flower. Color red in general symbolizes love and passion, but it can also be a symbol of power, strength and importance. We gift red Dahlias to people we care about and who we want to see rising up from the ashes. They are very important to us and we want to see them succeed in all areas of life. You can gift red Dahlias to your partner or a friend who is going through some difficult moments in life. Bouquet of red Dahlias is going to send a clear message of support and love that can’t be better expressed by any other flower.

-Rose campion: The genus name, used by Theophrastus from the Greek work lychnos which means “lamp”, is thought to refer to the use of the woolly leaves as lamp wicks in ancient times. The common name of rose campion supposedly comes from the use of its flowers to make garlands for athletic champions.

(This makes me guess that whatever we will be facing in chapter 7 we will succeed I guess(?)

-Red sage flower: This Scarlet sage plant is known for its spiky, striking flowers. As with most red flowers, red sage flower meaning is closely linked to passion and adoration. Traditionally associated with romance, desire and young love. Its vibrant red blossoms are said to symbolize forever mine feeling. In some cultures, they are also believed to expel negative energy, purify body and soul and usher in good fortune.

-Hypericum Berries derives its name from a Greek word that means: “Resembling Heather”. Since this plant is known for its healing properties to fight depression and calm anxiety, it is can be associated with good health.

-Rowan berries: The colour red was considered to be the best colour for fighting evil, and so the rowan's bright red berries have been associated with magic and witches. 

If you are interested in more content I just got a Twitter page: https://twitter.com/Athy_tehehe?t=h3zCmGpl4d2d4cuA1bxBzw&s=09

[gorseflowers]

feel like i really should make a post about primitivism in yellowjackets given how much of my dissertation was about primitivism in art, which is a different area but its the same principal like its the creation of a romantic ideal of the primitive usually from the misinterpreted imagery/beliefs of a marginalised culture and the idealisation of that ideal as better/purer than the present state

much like how primitivist painters lifted imagery from cultures they were interested in without caring about the context/meaning/importance of the imagery to those cultures, it feels like yellowjackets is doing the same with the wilderness ritual stuff like the animal mask parade symbolic burial nat walked in on in the present, the ash anointing smoke smudging thing lottie was doing before nat and travis went out hunting in the 90s, it seems like theyve taken generically recognisable “wicca shit” as nat put it, that the audience will immediately understand as “primitive” and therefore associate with a level of mystery and power that’s accentuated by the lack of context or tangible link to anything explicable.

and i get that, at least in the 90s plotline, it kind of has to be generic wicca shit because the girls are literally making it up and assigning meanings to the materials they have available like ash and blood, but to have this ~mysterious primal power~ coming from the only character with indigenous heritage is like. really transparently primitivist in the most original sense. its the idea that there’s gotta be something ~cool/mysterious/spooky/powerful~ about this culture thats ~soooo connected to nature/primal states of self~ that always leads to white europeans (like myself full disclosure, im white/scottish) strip mining that culture for this sense of the primitive. its not about that actual culture or those actual people, its about what a white audience reads into it and what they want to see it as.

obviously the second season has only just started so they could well be setting up to subvert what theyve been doing so far, but two things are making me think thats not gonna be the case -- the way the mysterious ambiguous and supernatural elements of the plot are directly linked to the two main characters of colour (which has been discussed in more depth by other ppl), and the way that the wilderness itself is framed as a category of place that diametrically opposes “civilisation” without considering the concrete reality of the location in Real Life Canada which has a Real Life Indigenous Population who go completely unmentioned so far. its definitely indicative of how the writers want to frame “the wilderness” as some kind of other-place devoid of humanity that they have pointedly ignored the people who originally inhabited/still do inhabit other areas of that landscape. potentially also because the realities of modern (or 90s-modern) indigenous people dont fit the primitivist romantic ideal.

once again i am white/european so despite having studied like the art context of this im really not Qualified and i’d be greatly obliged for anyone else’s input. also this isnt totally slagging off the show i do enjoy it i just feel like they could be really doing better here. anyway!

[babywitchofthesouth]

Full Moon Spellwork 🌕

4 June 2023 - Full moon in Scorpio

3:41pm–4:02pm

4 June 2023 - Full moon in Sagittarius

4:03pm-on

Spell for a brighter path for romance

What you need:

Jasmine incense

Candle

Perfume

Lovers tarot card

Pink marker

Small paper

What to do:

Cleanse your space with the incense

Place the tarot card in front of you

Light the candle

Write "love is mine" on the paper

Place it underneath the perfume bottle

State all affirmations set at the new moon

Tap the candle with wet fingers to stop the flame

Keep the paper under the perfume on your shelf

Every time you use the perfume, repeat "love is mine"

—

Spell for improving confidence and social skills

What you need:

Sage incense 

Candle

Gold jewellery

Strength tarot card

Orange marker

Small paper

What to do:

Cleanse your space with the incense

Place the tarot card in front of you

Light the candle

Hold your jewellery tightly

State all affirmations set at the new moon

Draw a star on the paper

Place the jewellery back in a jewellery box with the paper

Tap the candle with wet fingers to stop the flame

Wear the jewellery every time you need a confidence boost

—————————————

Here’s the explanation for fellow baby witches

The Full Moon is a lunar phase associated with using your power and energy and sealing intentions that were set on the New Moon, and that we have been actively working towards during the Waxing Moon.

It is around this time that indications of my intentions should start to show (and let me tell you—they're showing. I have a date next week. I also haven't experienced my usual heart palpitations when I'm in a situation that usually gives me social anxiety. I'm still working on my communication skills though).

However, these intentions won't be fully manifested until the next time the Full Moon is in the same sign the New Moon was in when i set these intentions (which is generally around 6 months).

The Full Moon is strongest in the three days leading up to it or on the Full Moon exact. I performed these two spells on the exact date of the Full Moon at night.

You can view the affirmations I used in these spells here. For each spell I used whichever correspondences I had available to support my intentions. Jasmine can be used for love and attraction, Sage is a general cleanser to remove negative energy that may be hanging over me. I only had an unscented pillar candle, so that's what I went with. I wanted to use a physical object that could be a reminder of my affirmations, so I used my favourite perfume right now, and a necklace my closest friend gifted me. I used tarot cards that supported my intentions too, being The Lovers (for obvious reasons) and Strength for inner courage and bravery. I used colour correspondences with markers I had available, but I was originally going to use red and yellow. Finally, I used the phrase 'love is mine' as a short reminder of all of my affirmations, and a star because I literally could not think of a short appropriate phrase.

I've unfortunately packed away everything I tend to use for spell work since I'm moving houses next week, so for spellwork, I'm having to make do with what I've got, which is very little. Not even a single crystal. The only reason I have incense is because I didn't tape that box shut yet. But it's no issue, because with witchcraft you use what you have. I generally am a maximalist though so it was a little weird for me.

Check out the other parts of this series!

Part 1 - Intentions. First post

Part 2 - Actions. Last post

Part 3 - Spellwork. Current post

Part 4 - TBA

[definitelynotshouting]

todays been good but i have nothing to do 😭😭 also ur the reason im obsessed with fragile bird so thank u for that/pos 👍👍👍

WLXNADNENDKENDKNDKD CITY AND COLOUR HOURS,,,, MY BAND THATS MY FUCKING BAND‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ if u would like smth to do u should listen to the rest of their discography bc it is SO GOOD....... this is shameless propaganda i will peddle city and colour til the day i die but if u want a good primer for his Range™ go listen to Northern Wind, then Difficult Love, A Little Mercy, and Murderer. And if you're still interested after that......

Personal favorites of mine: We Found Each Other in the Dark, Silver and Gold, aforementioned Northern Wind and Murderer, Astronaut, and The Love Still Held Me Near

Songs i associate heavily with Scarian: Young Lovers, Fucked It Up, Wasted Love, and Lover Come Back

And as a bonus, just a general encapsulation of 3rd Life to me: Mountain of Madness

alright theres your homework get to listening i need the scarian army to be just as obsessed with City and Colour as it is with The Crane Wives, it would fix me i just know it /JOKE

[spooniechef]

Emergency Calories - Potato Salad (0-1 spoon)

I've been largely out of spoons lately, with weather changes, unexpected absences at work and resulting overtime, and all associated pain flares making most things difficult to impossible. I'm feeling better at the moment, so the next few posts are going to involve how I've survived the last few weeks. Because aches or no aches, we still need to eat, and UberEats is too damn expensive for all the time (especially with gluten intolerances).

Now, I've spent a good portion of my adult life fucking up potato salad. Somehow, I thought it was just ... potatoes, mayonnaise, done. Except ... not quite, apparently, because the mayonnaise would always seem to separate and it was never quite right. So I eventually started looking up recipes to find the common thread that makes other people's potato salad work when mine didn't. Took a good bit of searching, but I finally found it: vinegar. Or lemon juice - something acidic, anyway. As well as adding a certain amount of tart zinginess to the potato salad, it also seems to keep the mayonnaise creamy and smooth even when refrigeraged a few days. So while I got recipes from a lot of sources, I've never strictly used any of them, preferring to figure out the best way to do it by guess and by gosh so I can just thow everything together without thinking about it too much. So I'll give a basic overview and some notes for potential additions to jazz it up a bit. The great thing about potato salad is its versatility. Plus, potatoes are relatively cheap.

Here's what you'll need:

~2lbs (or 1kg-ish) potatoes

~1 cup mayonnaise

~1-2 tablespoons vinegar

Additions to taste (see notes)

The easiest way to do this in terms of potatoes is use baby new potatoes, cut into quarters. If you're doing anything larger, you probably want cubes about an inch square. Making sure the pieces are of uniform size is helpful. And I don't know how it is in other countries, but if you're in the UK, get more potatoes than you think you'll need. Our produce has been shit lately, and it's pretty standard to have to cut away bits of yick or just throw whole potatoes away.

Here's what you do:

Chop your potatoes and put them in to boil. Once boiled to reasonable softness (not mashable-soft, but not too firm either), drain and leave to cool and dry.

In a separate bowl, add the mayonnaise, vinegar, and whatever else you're putting into the dressing.

Add potatoes and fold until everything is fully covered.

Serve immediately and/or put in the fridge for later.

As I say, these are largely approximates because I measure it all by eye at the moment. It's pretty easy to get the hang of. Basically you want just enough vinegar to not have the mayonnaise swimming but enough to suit your tastes. And obviously you can jazz it up to suit you - here's some things that have been suggested in various recipes or just sound nice:

Hard-boiled egg

Crispy bacon bits

Dijon mustard

Chunks of dill pickle

Herbs and spices in general (paprika is usually suggested, as are chives, and obviously salt and pepper to taste, but I like adding onion salt, garlic pepper, and a little bit of celery salt)

Onions (I prefer green onions/scallions, but thin-sliced red onion can add some nice colour)

Honestly, play around with it, because potato salad is wonderfully versatile. Googling for recipes showed me that there are as many potato salad recipes as there are people, so I just left it at the absolute basics as a sort of a blank canvas to experiment on.

Potato salad lasts about five days in the fridge, and can be a meal in itself if done right, so it's great for a source of emergency calories. Enjoy!

(Oh, and side note: if you are gluten intolerant, do not try this as pasta salad. I tried to make pasta salad by the same principles and the dressing was fine but gluten-free pasta is disgusting cold. Even the good kind of gluten-free pasta. Sorry, fellow gluten-intolerants; we're going to have to stick with potatoes.)

[greypetrel]

Hello hello ^^ For the Writers would you ever ask game: would you ever have two different characters associated with the same symbolism?

Hi there! :D Thanks for asking, this is so interesting and I apologize because it's long but... You tapped on something I'm pretty much obsessed with, LOL.

So.

In general no. My main drive for stories are characters. I may have some similarities between them all, but I like to fool myself in thinking I can differentiate them. Symbols help me shaping each character, and differentiate them better, so I'll try and choose different symbols for each of them.

Some may share a little part of symbolism in terms of aesthetic, but I tend to change the acception, because no animal, plant or colour has just one meaning, and it's interesting, some times, to play on that as well (I love symbolism and exploring why different people came up with different interpretations of the same thing, I won't stay here to fangirl because I could but yeah.)

e.g.: Aisling has Elfroot in her symbolism... Which looks like Ivy that's a symbol I associate with Seren, the main character of an original comic of mine. Aesthetically, they're similar, but... For Aisling, it's connected to DA lore: it's for healing and soothing, it's a medicinal plant, the unassuming thing that will make your health potion. For Seren, who's a bacchae, it's linked to its symbolism in Greek Mythology, where it's linked with Dionysus as a symbol of resilience, fertility and survival.

The same symbol, in the same acception, for two different characters? Eh, no. But the same symbol declined in two different acception, and paired with others to clarify? Heck yes.

(I may and I will translate characters from one universe to another. I used to roleplay characters from my stories in online rpg play-by-chat to get to know them better, and switch them around to a different environment. It's the same character tho, in a different context.)

Tis the ask

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Pac, Mike, Felps, and Cellbit's friendship bracelets from the xcom2 au (messed up the knots so Cellbit's is a bit loose oops, and Felps is a few beads short double oops). Order of the engraved beads moves about a bit but eh. Not sure if I'm going to take apart the Pac e Mike bracelets to make the necklace or count the beads out and do it without the engravings - we'll see. Also if I have enough shiny ones. And maybe better pictures when its light out.

Felps - red, pink, grey (shirt and the stone mined in his square. Some shinies for ores. Not that he mines a square in this au but I still associate him with it). Engraved bead is red.

Cellbit - red, black, other dark beads (edgy, occasional glitter). Engraved bead is black

Mike - green, pink, little bit of blue. (Specifically the blue beads are either shiny or glittery. It's Pac.) Engraved bead is green.

Pac - blue, yellow, little bit of green. (Specifically the green beads are either shiny or glittery. It's Mike.) Engraved bead is blue.

The specific beads used for the engraved beads weren't used generally, though ones of very very similar colour sometimes were. And clipped Pac e Mike looped through each other because like vibes.

[fluffyydumplings]

Empty Canvases

Gone - Part 8

Summary: Tae’s dreams were nothing but a tunnel with no ending - dark, bleak and empty.. Yoongi made him smile, you opened his eyes to light.. the world and everyone in it made him cry.. Through this abandoned tunnel that now has a torch shining its way and an ending to reach - he runs to it - with joy.. To the sparkly eyed fool who follows him around everywhere and anywhere..

Word Count: 5.3k

Genre: painter!taehyung x reader x yoongi (one-sided love) / third-wheeling / painter!taehyung x painter!oc (male) / moving on!au / heartbreak!au / best friends!au

Warning: judgemental parents / unrealistic expectations / generational trauma / unsupportive parents / toxic relationships / fear

A/N: @hobateas This series has come so far and so much time has passed.. In fact, a whole year has passed since I posted the first chapter.. It’s funny how time passes by so quickly - it goes by every time I blink or think..

There’s a surprise that drops after this chapter though.. So, look forward to that! Summer Break starts soon for me, so yeah… I can finally focus on the things I have intended to finish ever since that of last year.. Birthday projects and lingering requests.. Fics, series.. Ahhhhh!! I’m so excited!!!! (Oh- how things have changed since I’ve written this note)

I find myself unable to finish the very last chapter of this beautiful story.. I have found myself half way through only, and that is where I have decided as of today to end this wonderful piece of mine.. Albeit, incomplete - I will leave the rest to your imagination

Series Masterlist

Moodboard

Previous chapter

Aged Nine ↴

‘Taehyungiee.. Do you know what this is, sweetheart?’

‘Paint..’ in a tiny voice, confusion sprinkling the edges of his fingers he answers to his aunt’s query.

‘Mhmm.. It is.. Isn’t it simply, wonderful though?’

‘I don’t know, aunty.. It’s just paint.’

‘Is that what your mummy said?’

‘Yeah,’ he nods hesitantly.

‘Always the no-funner.. Isn’t it, your mummy?’

‘Yeah,’ he agrees whole-heartedly..

‘Do you see that whale over there, Tae?’ she points at a canvas littered with blue and purple strokes.

To little Taehyung, it was the most beautiful picture he has ever seen.. (He hasn’t seen much besides the white walls of his bedroom and the soulless designs that coats his entire home in his mother’s so-called “chic” - his bad, “sheik.”)

And that’s how he fell in love.. Fast, fully, quick and painfully.. The same way he fell and falls in love with anything and everything..

‘Do you like it?’

Did he like it? She had no need to throw such unthinkable questions his way.. He didn't just like it, he loved it.. He was amazed, enthralled, enchanted, captivated.. Whatever magical feeling a nine-year-old could sheath into words.

‘Woahh, it’s.. Woahh,’ he beamed as paint splattered onto a piece of paper.

To him, it was more than a piece of paper.. It was the truest form of his childish thoughts finally let free and given the freedom to explore beyond its iron cage. It gave him joy, and he gladly tugged onto it.

He felt like a young harry potter who just got a hold on his very own wand for the first time.. He felt like a sparkle-eyed Matilda who no longer had to sneak around just to get his hands on a single book..

He felt free

________________________________________

Aged Seventeen ↴

Paint.. Strokes of white, blue and violet that clings onto the empty surface of his heart.. Like that of the canvas a road away from him - devoid of colour. It bubbles, coagulates.. and evaporates into puddles of putrid green..

His eyes are but two blobs of dust that coats the edges of your window, his head is nothing but a swirl of cream that drips off of the sides of your cup.. He is nothing but an empty canvas. And even with the piece of stolen chalk in his hands and this wretched piece of torn paper placed atop of the table in front of him, he can’t seem to associate with anything but empty canvases.. Because he’s so devoid of colour, he forgot how to draw inside of lines..

‘Kim Taehyung!’

However, there was one man (and only one) that brought rainbows and collisions of mess-stricken fireworks to his dull life.

‘Taehyung-ah!’

At the sound of that ever so hauntingly beautiful voice and that loving smile that was so easy to absorb - almost like that of an iv being injected into the blue of his veins. He smiles - a tragic tale in the making.. sunflowers slowly wilting into strokes of mustard yellow and dirt brown.

‘Hyung!! You have finally decided to glance my way,’ the most he’s ever been near the latter, and the most he has ever spoken to him..

It would be a lie if Taehyung said his cheeks were an unusual shade of cotton candy pink due to the continuous waves of heat that have been coming and going the past few weeks. It would be a lie if Taehyung said the man before him wasn’t the reason to why he was two seconds from hiccuping like a fool who forgot to fill up his bottle of water for the morning run.

‘We can be friends.’

That’s it.. Taehyung must be dreaming! After months of pinning over the sculptor, he’s finally got a chance at seeing those skilled fingers up close and to get a glimpse into that brilliant mind of his.

Isn’t that exciting? Tae’s heard plenty if not a bucket of glaze worth of praise for the soft bundle of wool of a human!

From what he knows, Yoongi sculpted the town’s fountain out of his bare hands.. And that fountain is stunning! He means it!

Perfectly rounded in shape, dips and curves perfectly to form mind-bending patterns, the flowers that bundle at the center! Oh, and the pretty lights (Tae doubts Yoongi did that, but it‘s still a dazzling piece of art if he doesn’t mind saying so himself)

Tae likes blubbering nonsense.. But, can you stop him? When he’s full of so much love.

‘Reallly?’

‘Yes.’

Sugar, spice and everything nice.. Running across a field of rainbow lollipops and popping star candy!!! He truly must be dreaming!

‘Taehyung, let me be honest with you. I came here because of Y/N.’

‘Oh..’ he wears his heart on his sleeve, and right now - there is no sleeve.. There is no heart- there is no-

‘She likes you. Will you do me a favour, and go out with her?’

A strange offer from a man he’s never spoken too.. Did Tae call Yoongi a sweetheart earlier, because at the moment he’s an absolute asshole.. So much, Tae squints his eyes tight and considers spraying either pepper spray or bear spray in the evil man’s seeing globes.

‘So, you’re not here because you want to be friends?’

Betrayal lines the opening of his throat, bitter bile rising to fill the spaces of his loveless heart..

‘No..’ ‘You can think ab-’

‘I’ll do it.’

Tae has a thing for bastards.. It’s showing, and he hates it.. It isn’t his fault his over-bearing, emotionally-unavailable, and self-absorbed stick figures for parents has lowered his standards to a negative 7.. The child in him is screaming to get approval from this unsatiable being.. The child in him is screaming ‘there must be something beautiful behind those ever-lasting grimaces.’

In his parents, never.. In Yoongi, maybe..

‘Tomorrow, 4 pm. Cafe Bonsai.’

A- a- ha- ha- ha-..

Step number one: Get to know this Y/N girl

Step number two: Ask her shit about Yoongi

Step number three: Ask her to help me

Step number four: Yoongi, conquered!

‘Do you prefer sandwiches or burgers?’

‘Burgers..’

‘Ah, me too!’

‘Cats or dogs?’

‘Cats!’ ‘Cats!’

‘Ahhhh!’

Like how we warm ourselves up after a rainy day, or how we dodge from falling stones - knowing of how it will harm us.. Certain things just come naturally to us. Like snow in winter and ripe grapes in summer. Like moisture on cold glass and

The sky is an awful shade of grey, facing it.. One would know.. You don’t have to tell Taehyung.. He already knows..

That he was in big trouble when it came to you.

________________________________________

Aged Eighteen ↴

He felt free.. until he didn’t-

*on the phone*

‘Aren’t you going to show me what you painted the other day, Tae?’

‘Come on, Y/niee,’ in a sleepy voice he smiles as he flutters around on his matress.

‘You know I don’t show my work to just anyone.’

‘Do I have to pay up, Sir?’

‘Now now.. I’m expensive.’

‘Not as expensive as Yoongi’s sculpting rate.’

‘Not as expensive as that, but still more than a high school student could ever afford.’

‘But enough for his best friend to afford?’

‘Maybe..’

‘I’m hanging-’

‘Come over tomorrow, I’ll give you a peak!’

‘Okay, painter.. Hanging up for real now, sweet dreams..’

Sweet? That was when the monsters creeped in, crawling through his bedroom door and dragging him off of his sleep.

The red one pulls at his feet: ‘Aren’t you afraid, Tae?’

The blue one pokes at his undefined cheeks: ‘Too happy.. more than you deserve, isn’t it- Kim.’

The purple one hovers above him: ‘You’re not supposed to be doing any of this, child.’

*crash*

*boom*

*bam*

*puff*

C̷̨̯̫͛̂͐̉̄̎͆͛̚͠r̴̳̘̅̈͆̃͆̈́̓̇͠a̷̪̟̩̗͊͊̅͐͜s̷̘͓͎̓̀̄̀͗̀h̵̨̩̫̯̕ ̷̛̛̤̆̉̍̽͛͒͘

̶̨̱̹͔̈́ͅ

̸̞̳̰̍͆̏͌͘͘̚͠

̵̗̘̳̗̤̪̬̬̑͌̕͜

̶͚͉̥͚̠̤̥͌

̵̧̞͖͈̻̮̓̏̈́͗B̵̫͎̩̥̯͍̲̊̍̎͝ą̷̧̼̦͖̗̯̮̓͊ḿ̴̫̩̻̲̙̭͖̄̄̍̀͜ ̵̼̭̗͕͊͆͋́͠͝

̷̨͓͔͇̯̘͇̋B̷̜̖̘̙͔̜͚͉̿̀̉̚ơ̶̖͐͛͌̒o̷̒̄̓͆̌̅͗͜͝͠m̵̛͚͖̹̖͖̞͕̲͎̉͐̾̆̀̍̀̈́ ̸͎͊͗̆ ̸̹͉͕̥͓̥̄̓̾̕ ̷̧̛̯̗̭͎̳͚̃̅̃̓͑́̚͝ ̵̛̮̝̲̦̫̦͔̜̑̐̀̀̂̑̽̑͝B̴͇̻̪̭̥̭͍̊̄͐à̷̧̠͇͇͉̘͉̱̍͗̈͛̃͘̕͘m̵̥͎̣̜͍͇̏͑̏̃̆̿

̴̪͖̓͒͠

̷̮͔͍̬͎͓̯̫͂̀ͅP̵̨̖͙̯̞̩̪͔͑̉̽̃̒͜u̸̺̺͖̽f̵̘̰̟͊̐́͊͐̿͝ͅf̷̢̛͕̘̻͙̙̙̓̓̃͌͑̿͋̈́

̴̻͍̖͛̄̔̀̽̊̾̕̚͝

̴̨̝̟̗͙̦̾̕͝ ̵͉̘͉͚̝̟̉̏͜͝ ̵̭̳͚̬̮̯̦̔͑̑̓̊ ̷̦̞̮͓̲̳͎͙̖̎̈́̋͌ͅ ̷̻̱̮̼͂ ̶̡͉̟͓͙̀̓̀̌Ḣ̴̨̧̱͉̳̰̇̽̉̈́͊̄̍ų̴̰͕̥̹̘̥̮̣̫̂͌͂͂͝ḟ̸̧̥̘̘̬̳͉̣̹̘̇͗̂̏̇f̴̙͈̀͐͂̈́̃͆͝

̷͕̼̍̾

̵͕́̉̄B̴̡̮̙̯̤͔̩̺̍ͅổ̶̤͙̝̩̲̠̝͓̒̏ö̷̝͚͓̜̼͙̦́̉́̀͂͛̿̀͜͝ö̵̦͎͔̟͇̲̱̿̈̉̋̾̓m̵̛̳̯̤̞͔̳̰̆̄̚!̷̩̖̹̖̮̊̃͗͛

‘Huh.. huh.. huh..’ sweat coats his honeyed skin, clinging onto it like tar on rugged walls.

Like bits of newspaper being placed onto cardboard with watered-down glue, it sticks.. it bleeds.. and it feeds..

It caves in, and his hands trail down the side of his headboard.. It trickles, and his feet relax to the beat of death..

‘This- This-’

The sound of rummaging, throwing and tossing painting red into the thunder’s thrumming blue..

Like a fool dressed in clown pants and bunny ears, he makes his way downstairs - to the noise that haunts his world - his peaceful world of birds and badly bred tigers.

‘Mom?’

‘Oh, Tae.. I was trying to find my plates.’ ‘And I happen to run into this,’ she snaps a brush in half with her feet as she kicks furiously at the mess she made.

‘You know.. My plates! The ones with the sakura flowers! The ones I bought from Japan! I was going to use it! Your dad’s coming home today!!! His plane arrives this afternoon!’

He ignores his mother’s complains.. He burries his head into the ground, dirt slowly burrying him to utter oblivion.

‘Those brushes?

‘Ah!! Your stupid aunt must have accidentally left them here! It’s okay I’ll throw them away!! Stupid bitch!’ she throws a flat-tipped brush across the kitchen floor - and along with it, she throws her son’s dreams away.

‘It’s the prettiest set of plates we have!’

And those are the only set of brushes Tae’s got..

He wants to weep.. But, he doesn't..

He wants to scream and throw one of her plates out the window, but he doesn't..

He doesn't do anything at all..

‘Give me the brushes, Tae.’

Even as she throws his brushes away..

‘Here.. The last one..’

He tucks it into the front pocket of his pants.

‘Now.. Where did I keep those plates of mine?’ with grey sticking out of her hair, she smiles at him.

He simply stares..

‘Aghhhh!! There they are!!!!’

‘Now!! Tae, how has your business classes been going!!’

‘Fine..’

‘Huh?’ putting the white-tinted box down, she looks back at him - expectations whirling in her eyes.

‘They’re going fine.’

He does not want to disappoint her( for as much as she has disappointed him over the years) he loves his mother with all of his heart.

‘That’s good to hear, Tae.’

She would pluck the world out for him.. But, she’ll never come to understand his love for rainbow tainted hands.. lead tarnished tables or the colour blue. That’s the way the universe works. Sometimes, we simply won't be able to understand someone.. despite how much hard we try to.. and how much we love or care for them. That’s just the way the universe works.

‘And then you’ll take up business management.. You’ll do wonderfully well. Won’t you? Our Tae..

He does not want to disappoint her, even if he tastes salt all over his mouth - and the image of his brushes stuffed in black garbage bags has his chest tight and his lungs submerged and brimming with sea water. He does not feel like a fish out of water, after all, for as long as he has lived.. He has known that this is where he belongs..(what he has been told, at least) He’s a little fish whose gills have been stripped off of him, and now he’s heaving for oxygen.. Desperately washing onto shore.. Desperately swimming towards his dreams that bubble with false hope..

‘Mom, what time is it?’

The clock inside of him was ticking..

Tick tok.. Tick tok..

He had to keep a straight face, he couldn’t let his mother know of his precious yet unrequited love for painting.. She would ransack through his room, pull out the stack of cheap paint brushes he had hidden under his bed and that big tool box filled with canisters of expensive paint that he used his birthday money saved up over the years for.

She would stare at him and question how her son ended up like this.. Striving for a passion that would cause him to starve.

‘Oh Tae..’ she would, with a tragic pair of eyes, pitty him with grace.

Oh, son.. I would never allow you to fill your stomach with the dirt beneath my feet. You will make people polish your shoes clean and everyone will be underneath your feet. I will make sure of it. Her eyes would scream..

She would look at him with horror, regretting the days she let her sister (his aunt) come by. She would phone her and scream: ‘What did you tell my son, you unfilial wench!’

And then she’ll phone his father: ‘Tae-Hoon.. Our son..’

‘It’s probably just a phase of his.. You know, children..’ he would reply, busy chugging down his second expresso shot of the day (it was 8 am).

‘Tae.. How about we find you a better hobby? Like- like- skiing? Ughh- like- basketball.. Just- not painting..’

She does not say it, but he knows why.. It has been imprinted into his head ever since he accidentally overheard his parents and grandparents talking over dinner at the ripe age of fourteen.

‘We thought she would be over it..’

‘It was our fault.. We kept on going: good job! good job! She is our child of course, your sister.. Compliments get into children’s heads. I mean, painting as a hobby is different from pursuing it as a career. One keeps you fed, the other doesn't.’

They were afraid, he’d end up like her..

________________________________________

Aged Twenty ↴

Worry grazed his face.. This must be a misunderstanding of some sort, isn’t it? The tickets.. He-

*rings*

To describe the look on his face.. One would have to go to paintings such as “Ophelia” after the well-known play: Hamlet by that of William Shakespeare. The sorrows of picking flowers and drowning in a river not as bitter as the betrayal and confusion that deforms the frame of both of their faces. Perhaps the same way Ophelia fell deep into sorrow upon realising of what Hamlet has done, Taehyung’s heart froze at what only his mother could have done.

The difference between the two though.. Is what a forensic pathologist might describe as one being too horrible to take in: a person with a bullet lodged in their forehead, and the trace of gun powder in their dominant hand. The other being too perfect to be true: a person with inflamed lungs (a sign of being drowned to death) and flesh discovered close to the hyponychium of their finger, wedged in between the tiny opening of their nails. For it wasn’t betrayal that froze Taehyung’s heart to shock.. No- Infact, his frozen heart has thawed.

‘I divorced your father today. It almost feels as though I’m some helpless trophy wife in one of those over-dramatic tv shows who do anything and everything to please their husbands. I was.’

‘I don’t think I’ll be talking to your grandparents anymore.. They’ve been feeding me too much-.. Prejudice.. Ah, forget it.. Bullshit.. They fed me bullshit.’

‘He he..’ ‘Tae?’

He was sobbing, dressed in a badly-stained shirt and joggers that were way too loose for him in the corner of his apartment’s bathroom. Afraid his roommate would hear him, he sucks his tears in.. Or was it his breath?

‘Tae. Are you crying, son?’

‘Hiccups..’

‘I’m assuming you got the tickets today. I put in a little word with the director at the Paris University of Arts..’ she smiles to herself ‘Ah ah ah.. I didn't bribe them. I know you would hate me for that, son. I showed them an artwork of yours.. Y/N emailed it to me.. I’m sorry if you feel like I’m invading your-’

‘And- I’m *sobs* sorry for cutting you off, mom. But, thank you.. Thank you..’

To say his life turned around that day would be an understatement and to say it changed his life completely would be an overstatement. As he sat down and Seoul blurred from his vision and all he could see was clouds. And eventually nothing as the flight attendant had requested for him to slide his window’s blind up. He relishes in a very important turning point of his life, but smiles fondly at how much hasn’t changed so far.

He was still the same Tae who found paint as nothing but pigment then eventually thought of it as his everything (his mother, you and Yoongi included in that label).. He was still the same boy he cried over his broken and trashed brushes.. He was that, yet so much more.. So much has changed, yet nothing has changed.. Deep in thought, he doesn't think it makes much sense.. Years later, he still thinks that it all does not make much sense..

There are a multitude of topics he could ponder upon, but.. Kim Taehyung decided that with a cup of orange juice in his hand, 6.2 miles off of ground and with his long legs crouched to fit the space provided.. That he wanted to be a little schmaltzy and overly sentimental - even if he gets a few glances from the old lady-

‘Ajumeoni.. (term used for a woman who is of old age)’

‘I’m only thirty-eight!’

The lady with the scarf.. His bad..

‘Can I please have more orange juice, please?’

That’s got to clear his mind!

‘Me too..’

‘Huh?’

His eyes sparkle.. A shade of brown that Tae would find delight in mixing colours to match and using his brush to blend at just so the light reflects onto it the same way it did in reality.

The softness of his face, the valley that is his nose, the plushness of his lips.. He was the kind of beauty that made Taehyung wainted to learn how to draw humans.

Sketch be sketch, step by step.. Line by line.. Only three people have made him want to delve in the art of portraying the features of a living, breathing and speaking being onto paper. Yoongi, You.. and now.. This stranger..

A beauty that won’t nudge you into a speechless bubble of amazement.. A beauty that won’t cause you stumble on your steps.. Solely, a beauty that you know deep somewhere in your heart that it would never do you wrong.. A beauty-

‘Orange juice..’

He hopes he doesn't get caught starring..

‘Oh-... Two,’ he clarified by putting two of his fingers up.

‘Jiwon..’

‘Huh?!’

That startles him, but the dripping of orange liquid in a disposable plastic cup calms him down.. Almost like chasing a panic attack away with the neverending sound of the piano.

‘My name.’

‘Oh-’

At moments like this, Tae questions more and more how on earth, he became his high school’s heartthrob.. He was loaded, good-looking (although he doesn't quite agree-agree).. In that department, he did fit into the stereotypical image of what a heartthrob supposedly is - at least according to all the dramas he has watched because he was bored and had nothing to do after finishing his assignments. He never attended any parties, never played with hearts or was never truly friends with anyone but Yoongi and You (Namjoon and Jin coming a very close second)..

He was always and still is a meek little boy who spoke a few words and wouldn’t hurt a butterfly.. In all the dramas he’s watched, he narrowed himself down as being the quiet kid who no one paid attention to.

He was-

Oh- Did people perhaps confuse his aloofness to being a cold demeanour that he held up.. meant to make him look cool? Oh- But all he wanted was to make friends?

Tae pouts, finding fault in his distant glances.. Probably scaring all of his potential friends away.. Then again, he did approach his Yoongi Hyung.. He’ll video call you both once he arrives at his dorm. It’s been bothering him for a while now.

‘Tae.. Oh my.. You can’t keep on falling into this hole of self-despair and deprivation. You’re not alice.. You know, when I first met Yoongi.. He was ready to dig holes in my face. But, I was ready to be his friend.’

‘Not true!’ the cat-eyed man rebutes.

‘Aish.. Hush, yoons.. Anyways, what I was trying to say was - you’re one of the sweetest and most easily approachable people I have ever met. It’s their fault, not yours.. They could have at least tried.. It just goes to show that they aren't worth even a millisecond of your precious time.’

‘After all, you’re our bread winner aren’t you?’

‘Aiii.. Stop teasing him. He might explode, Y/N..’

‘He could be blushing as we speak right now.’

‘Not!’

‘Blushing or not.. Anyhow, anywho.. Did you arrive well, Tae?’

‘I did..’

‘Unpacked yet?’

‘Nope.. Keeping that for tomorrow.. Too tired right now..’

‘Are you going to eat out continuously while you’re here?’

Easels fixed in place, loose screws jammed into inconvenient corners.. And badly chiseled wood.. The ocean was a fleeting yet consistent entity. Like how mother birds spoon-feed their youngs - Taehyung was like a baby bird with wings yet ready to fly with. With the illusion of his mother’s arms lifting him up in the sky, he felt as though he could fly to the sun.

His wings do serve a purpose now. But, if he were to fly too high - he would plummet to the ground. For even after they have transitioned from being melty wax to a solid rock of some sort - it will take time for peat to turn into coal.. and it takes a miracle for carbon to turn into diamonds..

Taehyung strives in being whatever is the best form of his self. He doesn't have to have diamond wings.. nor does he have to fly to the sun. He seeks joy in the most mundane and seemingly ordinary things in life. He doesn't have to fly high, being slightly above ground level and blending in with the rest of the world is more than enough to make him happy.

It sounds bad when he says it out-loud. But- Taehyung finds joy in being boring and simple.. Life doesn't have to have so much sparkle in it for it to be interesting - he thinks.

Then again, simple and boring can mean so many different things. To the post office man by the the bakery, it could mean sitting down all day and withering away just for someone to tap on his shoulder and tell him: ‘Can I mail this?’ To the cat living down the alley to what would now be Tae’s second home, it could mean eating tuna out of a can and making it safely under the fence when it rains. Sometimes, simple and boring can be beautiful. Sometimes, simple and boring is far more marvellous than exciting and fresh could ever be. The world is weird in that sense. We humans, are weird in that sense.

‘Tae?’

‘Maybe...’

‘Aigoo, honey.. Just mail him food. The kid’s shit at taking care of himself..’

‘Yoons.. What did we talk about letting him and independence.’

‘But-’

‘No buts no coconuts.. You love him, so do I. But, he’s no kid. He can take care of himself. We’re the same age for goodness sake.’

‘Tae.. Are you still there?’ you tap on the edges of your phone.

‘Yes,’ he answers, taking tentative sips out of the hot chocolate he got from the cafe next door.

‘Tae.. What did you have for dinner tonight?’

‘French onion soup..’

‘Man, Yoongi.. He’s already one of them.. We didn’t have to worry about him after all,’ you mutter outside of speaker length, knowing very well that Tae could still hear you loud and clear.

‘It was nice.. But, I feel like I’m going to miss Korean food so damn much.. Actually, I think.. I’m already missing it.’

‘Oh no, Tae.. do they not have any Korean restaurants there?’

‘Nope.. not even one..’

And that was exactly how his time passed by - one month of video calls turning into twelve months of video calls in the flick of an eye. As Tae’s canvases continue to be filled with all sorts of wonders, and as the stories he narrate with paint solidifies and dries into completion.. So does his loneliness.. It thrives, splashes onto him, and feeds off of him - wax pretending to be paint on the soft of his fingers..

‘Ya! Kim Taehyung! The project is due this Tuesday.. Are you not going to come over and help me..’

‘Shit- It’s tomorrow? Why didn't you tell me?. Shit- How are we going to finish on time?

‘Calm down, man.. I already did a shit load of work.. Just come over and help touch up the finishing details.’

‘Okay.. I will.. You still should have told me though. I would have helped.’

‘I did! Check your emails!’

‘Man.. Who uses emails in this day and age.’

‘Hey.. Are you calling me old, Kim?

‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.. Either way, let’s finish this project once and for all.’

Park Jiwon.. His name had a ring to it, almost like gold flowing in a stream of shadows. Tae would never admit it, he still refuses to. But, if he were to turn a blind eye to his inner monologue and listen to his “Tae Tae” senses. Alright! He’ll say it! Square up and confess to his sins!

When he hears the name: “Park Jiwon,” he might or might not accidentally break into a big-ass smile. Like- the ones where his eyes crinkle a little too much to the point where they appear as two sparkling orbs of daisies floating in the air - the sparkly kind, if daisies sparkled at all. They do have a shimmer-like reflevtion to them when he paints the flowers, to be fair.

Anyhow- What he means is.. The mention of Jiwon’s name alone has Taehyung smiling like he has just eaten the best spoonfool of the best Paella he has ever had in his entire life. Which is a once in a life time reoccurrence, since he lived in Spain and frequented Valencia like crazy during summer breaks back when he was in his teenage years. Therefore, the best paella he would ever have was one he already had and would probably never have again. Unless- he decides to visit his penpal: “Jinhyeon,” when Christmas break comes around.

Anyhow- In short and in conclusion.. Tae’s a hopeless romantic (but you can’t really blame the poor boy.. Can you?)

If you laid eyes on Park Jiwon for a few seconds, you would feel the same.. Tae was mesmerised by his beauty and voice on the plane, and when he volunteered to explain the idea behind what post-impressionism was on that odd January afternoon. Tae fell feet first and right into a pool filled with strawberry whipped cream. Oh, the baby bear harnessed a itty bitty crush on Jiwon alright. He would never admit to it, but.. He did.. Sunshine Comfort Boy was about 99% of what his heart was. The 1% left being a lack of common sense.

‘You know, I’m not the biggest fan of portraits... Right?’

‘I know.. I know... That’s why I never pestered you on that much,’ Jiwon sits on the slightly broken-down stool, nonchalant to Tae’s banter.

‘It’s because.. I’ve never been really all that good at it.’

That brings his pencil’s movement to a stop, the trees outside rustling to an abrupt halt as his head turned to meet Tae - who sits idly on another stool, closely parallel to him.

‘You get better with practice.. I know people say that all of the time. But, trust me on this one.. Some people just move a little faster than others do.. We don’t always remain at the corner of the wall though, we eventually move up the steps.. We do get better.. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.’

A silence that trimmed through the air like wild fire in a patch of grass. There eyes met, not a romantic glance - but one that ends up with two different outcomes.

Jiwon that laughs to his heart’s content

And Tae who makes a face of disgust, the reason behind the latter’s glee..

‘Ha ha ha..’

‘What?!’ he’s utterly confused.. Why was this man child laughing like the world just ended and he was behind it all?

‘Ha ha ha. Just look at your face!’ he infers to the window before them.

‘Pp- hmm.. Hee ha ha ha..’ he snorts and bursts into a fit of laughter.

When did Kim Taehyung harness such stern expressions?. Ever so solemn.. A sentiment he has never seen on his own face before. He would know. He’s Kim Taehyung.

‘Told you so..’

Smiles... Smiles.. He smiles..

‘You were just being.. A tad bit too corny. It felt like I was listening to one of those inspirational speeches on ted talk.’

‘Kim.. Don’t be so emo.’

‘Modern words.’

‘For modern kids.’

‘We’re adults.’

‘Modern adults.’

‘Those two words together don't make sense,’ Tae speaks with confidence in himself.

‘A.. What a juxtaposition expert you are.’

‘For your information, I got good grades in “language” for as long as I have remembered.’

‘Should have went down the poet route instead then, Kim.’

There it is again, those sparkly eyes of his.. The one's that has Taehyung a speechless shade of yellow. A blinding shade that brings unknowing joy to him and his sorry head.

‘Words just have never spoken to me the same way paint did.. You know? Otherwise, I would have been a poet by now.’

‘I’m glad you didn’t go down that route..’ ‘You’re too cocky to be poetic.. If I were to read anything you say, I would probably burst out laughing. Because- like- There’s no way this idiot means any of what he wrote.

‘Idiot?’

‘What?! Did I lie?’

‘I have a hard time believing idiots over what they say..’

‘Well.. I guess, it takes one to know another..’

‘That’s.. That’s.. That’s very mean of you!’

________________________________________

Aged twenty One ↴

‘Are you going to keep on following me?’ Tae sighs, even though deep down he doesn't mind one bit.

‘I’m not following you.. I’m simply walking next to you.’

‘That’s the same thing..’

‘Different concepts..’

‘You never seem to agree with me, don’t you.. Ji?’

Strolls along the riverside, hasty steps up mountains to see the sunrise, mouthfuls of rice cake soup warming you up through the cold.

A life through rose-coloured lens.. The plummeting of magnolia petals..

If Tae were to pick a colour… shade.. or hue to describe his life, he would pick grey.. Not because his life is sad or not worth seeing in colour. Because that’s where it has always stood. A centimetre away from darkness and light.

In a good way. In a way where he can bathe in the benefits of both, without having to always mope in one for the other to be left behind.

‘I only learn from the best.’

‘H- hmm..’ a sigh of disbelief that Taehyung fails to hold back (like many others he has failed to hold back), ‘Who?’

‘You..’

‘Ho ho! For saying that, you owe me a snicker,’ before his next words are said he retreats backwards and...

‘It’s only right.. You called me the best,’ he snickers..

A snicker for a snicker.. It’s only right!

‘Catch me if you can!’

He runs.. He runs in all his silly glory, looking like one would expect him to look. A twenty-year-old man brimming in the joys of his newly found freedom, in the middle of an ocean of youth and the things that come along with growing older.

‘Ha! I’ve got you!’

Maybe in a way, in that very desolate campus of their’s.. As Jiwon playfully tugs onto the seams of Tae’s sweater, along with it came the unwinding threads of his heart.

And as the threads of your heart unwind, you don’t realise it has come undone until the first abrupt beat of your heart resonates across dribbles of muddy water on the ground. Because unlike the laces of your shoes, you can’t see those loose pieces of thread.. Only when you fall and trip, do you realise they are there.