Good Dad Paz ficbit pt 2
bc apparently i am doing a writing now, part one here
what is tone? what is pacing? what is the star wars timeline and how the fuck does the tribe fit into it???
don’t look at me, i don’t know her! watch me handwave everything about paz’s backstory instead
also it’s canon that mandalorians monologue at babies now, i don’t make the rules
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Mandalore was inhabitable.
Well, Mandalore was either inhabitable or Din had seriously fucked up, because almost as soon as Paz landed, he was nearly bowled over by a full-grown Alamite flying at his face. The Alamite was followed by a hoverpram carrying Din's child, who wore a distressed expression and no environmental protection whatsoever.
The N-1 was nearby but Din himself was nowhere to be seen, which meant that he probably had, in fact, fucked up.
Paz quickly stepped over the body, no longer quite so concerned with his helmet's pressurization as the pram bumped against his knees. He crouched down and reached out to cradle the foundling's head in his palm, feeling downturned ears trembling against his hand.
"It's okay, little one," he said gently. "Where is your father?"
A tiny hand curled around one of his fingers. The other hand pointed toward the cave entrance Paz had originally been going toward, the child looking there before turning back to Paz with expectant hope.
"You know the way?"
"Leh!"
"Alright then."
Paz scooped the foundling up in one arm, settling him in the crook of his elbow as he pulled out the heavy-duty blaster that hung from his hip. His assault cannon was still slung over his back, and he would put the kid back into the pram if he needed to, but it was hard to offer comfort from a distance.
Small claws tapped against his cuirass and the child cooed softly, laying his head against the beskar. He seemed settled by the familiar sound, so Paz made sure he was secure against his chest before heading in the direction the little hand was pointing. The cave was less a cave and more just a jagged opening between chunks of trinitite, which followed a path down toward the ruins of Sundari.
Paz remembered - very distantly - traveling to the city when he was a child. It was long before the Night of a Thousand Tears, and nearly a year before the civil war that would fracture their people better than the Empire ever could.
He'd been just old enough to notice, even then, how different his group was from the other Mandalorians they encountered. Only guards and soldiers - of which they saw many, followed suspiciously as they were from touchdown to takeoff - donned armor. The rest of the population in Sundari wore soft clothes and no helmets at all, extraordinarily scandalous but also apparently so normal to them that it was Paz's group that was being stared at.
It had been his first foray off of Concordia; he hadn't enjoyed it. Neither had the other children, all recently sworn to the Creed and taken to proudly record their names in the Registers. By the end of the trip, they'd all trudged back aboard the transport quiet and huddled together, eager to leave Mandalore and return to the proper, familiar ways of the Tribe.
"You know," he mused as they descended into the city, "I was once a foundling, too."
"Brr?"
"Yes, like you and your father," he agreed. "But I was found at a younger age, and adopted into one of the lesser branches of Clan Vizsla."
It wasn't as though Paz had expected Sundari to be in good condition, but the city was even less than a wreck. Only the vaguest sense of civilization could be found in the ruins, in the rusting panes of durasteel and the beskar skeletons of buildings. If - when - he retrieved his sorry excuse of a brother, they would have to see if any of the scraps were good enough to bring back to the Armorer.
His adoptive parents would probably have called the idea of picking through the city's beskar bones sacrilegious, but Paz always had found himself to be more of a practical sort.
"Bah!"
"Yes, alright."
Paz obediently headed in the direction the child pointed, absently bouncing him in his arm as the hoverpram followed behind them. If his memory of Sundari's map was correct, they were definitely not going in the direction of the Civic Center - which was on par for Din's navigation skills, really.
Paz tilted his head down to look into big brown eyes.
"Do not," he ordered, "Turn out like your dad."
The child cooed.
Then he smacked Paz in the face and giggled.
Clearly, a lost cause.
They made their way down a large tunnel that might once have been part of the sewer system, an irony that was not lost on Paz in the least, and had to deal with a few more Alamites. The glimpses of sunlight visible through the collapsed dome disappeared into darkness as they went deeper. When the tunnel began lightening up again with the warm flickers of lamp and firelight, he slowed to a halt, the child a knot of tension in his arm.
"Brr," the child whined, insistent but quiet, pointing to the curve in the tunnel ahead. Paz knelt down and helped him clamber back into the pram.
"I'll go get your father," he said softly, wrapping the blankets around the kid's small body, pulling them over his head. "You stay here where it's safe, alright? Stay in there and don't come out until one of us comes to get you."
The child whined again, sinking down into the blankets with his ears lowered unhappily. Paz ran a gentle hand over his head before standing back up, waiting for the pram's shell to snap shut before holstering his heavy pistol and pulling the assault cannon from his back.
He pushed the pram behind an outcropping of rock and strode forward with a sharp grin.
It was a good day for someone else to die.
[pt 3]
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what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.
or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!
and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes
and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you
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