#it's letting us express ourselves in every meaning of the word

[sayitaliano]

Something I've been thinking about these days is that, as language learners, we want to immediately be able to express ourselves in our target language as we do in our native language, but we forget how long it took us to reach this knowledge of our own language too.

When I was a child, I for sure wasn't able to think or understand certain complex Italian words and therefore they weren't part of my vocabulary even if I happened to hear them/read them and ask for their meaning (I couldn't always retain them, also because I didn't had the chance to really use them). But even if I had to express a concept that needed that word, I could still make myself understood by using more and simpler words that meant the same. Or a simpler grammar structure I was sure of.

Even in school, teachers use simple words, and the same simpler words are used in our books. They grow in difficulty as we grow, learn and make experiences too. And more than on words, primary school teachers focus on grammar. That boring annoying grammar (sic!). But that's at the base of our speech, and of every language imo. If we know the words but not how to use them/build a sentence with them correctly, it's only a waste of time imo. And I'm not talking about idiomatic uses or mild differences in connotations, as that too will come with time unless we come across something as we go and can retain it. I'm talking about words like (using my native language here but works for all) "astruso", "gaglioffo", "lapalissiano" or "pleonastico". Unless you're C1/2 in Italian, you shouldn't worry if you can't remember them, even if you came across them. Heck, not even some Italians really know their meanings and for sure we don't use them that much in our everyday talk, so why worry about learning them immediately? Let them go, retain what you really need to make yourself understood in case you found yourself here and eg. needed help or to buy something, or wanted to tell/ask something to someone: doing that with simple words and sentences you are really sure of, or even kind of, it's still better and more comfortable than using unknown words/difficult grammar and risking to be misunderstood.

To make it short: learning the basic/most common words is actually helping me practice my target language's grammar more comfortably, so that I can move onto adding more complex stuff anytime I feel I can. And it's honestly less stressing.

[eshieslovemaze]

what we left behind... | jungkook

summary: nothing lasts forever. everything comes to an end. so does your relationship with him.

pairing: jungkook × reader

genre: angst, hurt-no-comfort

word count: 2.2k+

warnings/includes: arguments, a relationship falling apart, eventual breakup, crying, mentions of depression

❤️‍🩹🍂

jungkook and you have been each other's everything for years. your relationship began to bloom in the late years of high school, and blossomed into something truly beautiful by your mid-twenties. your love story was one that your friends both appreciated and envied — two souls who found their way to one another through events aligned by the universe. but life has a way of changing things, and somewhere along the path, you started to drift apart.

it started subtly. you would come home late from your work, too exhausted with your new responsibilities as a high ranked professional to spend your time together. jungkook, overwhelmed with his own workload, would bury himself in his tasks to avoid the palpitating tension at home that only seemed to grow. conversations that used to flow effortlessly between you two became stilted, awkward, and i dare say, suffocating. the little things you once loved and adored about each other became sources of irritation and arguments.

one night, the tension finally boiled over. you fought about something very trivial —who forgot to buy milk, or who left the lights on, and it had escalated into something much darker and irreversible.

"jungkook, why do you always do this? you just shut down, and i feel like i'm talking to a wall! it's like you don't even want to talk with me anymore!" you snapped, your voice shaking with frustration, mind weighed down and haywire from the turn of events between you two.

jungkook's jaw clenched as he tried to keep his temper in check. "and you think i enjoy this? i can’t even remember the last time we had a conversation that didn’t end in a fight!"

"maybe if you actually listened—" you start, but he doesn't let you finish.

"i do listen! but all i hear is how i'm never good enough for you anymore," his voice rose, sharp and cold like a dagger.

you froze, the weight of his words seeping in like water through a sponge. the anger that had fueled you suddenly turned into something else — pain, guilt, and a deep sadness that you didn’t know how to express. "jungkook, you know... that’s not what i mean. i just—"

"just what, y/n? just wish you were with someone else? someone who didn’t disappoint you all the time? someone who isn't me?" his words seemed to bring out every negative emotion within you, his own chest heaved with each laboured breath, struggling to keep his temper in check.

"that’s not fair!" you cried out, your voice breaking. tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them back, telling yourself it's not the time, refusing to let them fall. "i never said that, i would never say that!"

"you didn’t have to," jungkook's voice was cold, distant. the warmth that once filled his eyes when he looked at you was all gone, replaced by a dull resignation, something that you tried to ignore to not break down. "maybe… maybe we’re just fooling ourselves, thinking we can keep doing this, when we both know we can't." he ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots in frustration.

you stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. "what are you saying? y-you don't mean it, right?" your nostrils flared, eyes blazing with a mixture of rage, guilt, and most importantly, hurt.

jungkook looked away, unable to meet your gaze. "i don’t know what i’m saying. i just— i don’t know how to fix, or do this," he points his index to you and then himself, "anymore."

the room fell into a heavy silence, the weight of your unspoken words pressing down. you felt a tear slip down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away. "maybe we just need some time, some space," you whispered, though you weren't sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

"yeah," jungkook simply replied, his voice devoid of any emotion as he looked away from your eyes. "maybe."

you didn’t speak again that night, both retreating into your own corners of the house like strangers living under the same roof. as the days turned into weeks, the once-familiar spaces felt increasingly empty. awkwardly polite exchanges, forced smiles, and a palpable tension hung heavy in the air, a constant reminder of the distance that had grown between you in an unalterable way.

then came the afternoon that would be the turning point of everything. you had suggested that you both go to the café where you had your first date, desparately hoping that a walk down memory lane would rekindle the spark you two have misplaced, and take things back to where they were. jungkook agreed, though he wasn’t really sure if he believed it would help.

the café was just as you remembered from your high school days —warm, cozy, with the same old jukebox in the corner playing soft tunes. you sat at your usual table, the one by the window, but the atmosphere was different now. the once comforting familiarity of the place only highlighted how much had changed between the two of you, igniting the tension instead of bringing back the lost warmth.

both of you forced a small talk, urging yourselves to pretend things were just fine when in all reality, they weren't. The tautness between you was palpable and growing, the uncomfortable silence between your words louder than ever.

you finally broke, your voice trembling as you spoke, "jungkook… do you remember how we used to dream about the future? about us together forever? how we talked about travelling, starting a family, growing old together?" you gulped, supressing the trembling emotions in your throat.

jungkook nodded, his throat tightening, "of course, i do. i remember."

"what happened to us?" your voice finally cracked, your eyes searching his for answers that neither of you had. "when did we stop being… us? when did things change from what they were?"

he looked at you, his own heart aching at the sight of your pain. "i don’t know, really," he admitted, his eyes dimming. "i don’t know when we lost each other. to the point that we let the rough patches take control of everything to the point of no return."

your eyes brimmed with tears, and this time, you couldn’t find it in you to hold them back. "i don’t want to lose you, jungkook. i love you. that... that never changed."

"i love you too, y/n. i know it," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, choked with bitter feelings from the situation you both are in. "but maybe… maybe love isn’t enough for us anymore. neither of us are happy..." he weakly trails off.

you felt your heart shatter to dust at his words. you wanted to argue, to deny, to fight for the both of you. but deep down, you knew he was right. you both had been trying to hold on to something that was already gone, lost forever.

you finished your beverages in silence, buying time as both your minds wheeled to weigh the situation. when the twilight pink of the sky darkens with clouds, mirroring your thoughts, you two decide to leave. you two walk to the car, the rain that had started moments ago now falling steadily around you.

you drove back to your shared apartment in silence, neither of you knowing what to say. as you two entered the confinements of your shared home — if it even was a home anymore, you spoke up after finding your voice. "what now, jungkook?"

jungkook glanced at you for a moment before looking away, his chest tight with heavy, bitter feelings. "it's time. we will keep hurting ourselves if this goes on. we need to break up."

you looked up at him, your eyes full of pain, sadness, and regret, "i'll always love you, kook."

"and i'll always love you too, y/n," he replied, his eyes softening with melancholy as he gulped. "but… it’s time to let go."

you nodded, tears streaming down your cheeks as you closed your eyes. you couldn't stop yourself as you leaned in and gave him a final, lingering kiss — a goodbye wrapped in the echo of what you both left behind. he pulled you close, deepening the kiss as you both tasted the saltiness of your tears through the kiss.

as you parted, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, a final farewell. your heart ached with every item he placed into his suitcase, each one a piece of your shared life. the rain outside fell in sync with your tears, and you could only stand there, rooted to the spot. he gave you one last, lingering look before walking out the door, out of the world that you both dreamt of growing old in together, leaving it behind forever.

in the next few months, you went through the pits of regret and depression, wheeling your mind to replay every event during your togetherness and calculate what went wrong, when it went all downhill. you cried for days, mourning for what you two left behind. you made yourself a workaholic to stop yourself from spiralling, cooping yourself at your workplace till odd hours to avoid the memories that would rush back when you would step in your once shared home.

but you knew you couldn't grieve forever; you had to move on. slowly, you began having proper meals and taking care of yourself, gradually starting to change the decor of the apartment — as if to bury all the memories. with a heavy heart, you took down all the frames with pictures of two of you, safely placing them in a box and tucking it away in a corner under the bed. it was hard to let go of all those years of memories, but you did it for your own sake, knowing it would have been worse if you two stayed together. when the one-year mark of the break up hit, you believed that you had moved on, no longer caught up in the past. yes, you felt nostalgic at times, but you finally moved on.

you walked into the upscale downtown gallery, eyes sweeping across the room filled with art lovers and collectors. you weren’t here for the art, though; you had arrived tonight to support a friend who was showcasing her paintings for the first time. as you navigated through the crowd while admiring the art pieces on display, your steps faltered, your breath catching in your throat.

there, across the room, was jungkook.

he looked different — slightly older, more polished in a tailored suit, his hair a little longer than you had remembered, his jawline looking slightly angular. your eyes then fell to the woman beside him, laughing at something he said, her hand resting easily on his arm. she looked stunning, so much that a pang of envy shot through you; for now occupying the place you once had.

your heart tightened at the sight. it had been a year since that rainy night, a year since you had gone your separate ways, but seeing him now stirred that all-too-familiar ache in your chest. he looked happy — content in a way you hadn’t seen far too long.

for a moment, you considered turning around, slipping out before he could notice you. but before you could decide, jungkook's eyes caught yours across the room.

at that moment, everything else faded away. the crowd, the noise, the art — all of it blurred into the background as your eyes locked. but the once fiery connection between you was all gone, leaving only a cold, distant recognition in its place.

jungkook's smile slowly dropped, his expression unreadable. you felt a wave of emotions crash over you — nostalgia, regret, a tinge of longing — but most of all, you felt the cold sting of reality. you were no longer the jungkook and you who had shared dreams and whispered secrets in the dark; now you were just two people who had once been in love, but not anymore.

the woman beside jungkook nudged him, drawing his attention back to her. he offered her a small smile and leaned in to whisper something in her ear. a pang of jealousy flared up inside you, but you quickly pushed it down, reminding yourself that you were no longer a part of each other’s lives.

taking a deep breath, you turned away, forcing yourself to walk in the opposite direction. you mingled with the other guests, engaging in polite conversations, but your mind was miles away. the image of jungkook lingered in your mind, and you couldn’t stop replaying the way he had looked at you — like a stranger from a vague memory.

the evening passed in a blur, and as you left the gallery, you couldn’t resist glancing over your shoulder one last time. jungkook was still there, smiling with the woman who now held his attention, his form turned away from you — both literally and figuratively.

as you stepped out into the cool night air, you realized that the chapter of your life with jungkook had truly closed. you had become what you never thought you could — strangers passing by in the night, each on separate paths, separate lives.

with each step away, you finally allowed yourself to let go of the last remnants of what you left behind, embracing the unknown future ahead, no longer haunted by the ghost of your past love.

— copyright: © @eshieslovemaze 0924.

[kittenintheden]

I've had a fair few people ask me how I write dialogue, and other than touting the sort-of-dismissive-feeling "I've had a lot of practice and have been doing this a long time" comment I usually make, here are a few quick tips for improving dialogue writing.

1) Listen to people talk. Like. This sounds very "no fuckin duh." But I don't mean casually overhearing conversations. I mean if you have a character with a specific background, then get some headphones and find video/audio of someone you envision them speaking like, close your eyes, and simply listen. Full immersion. Let the cadence of their voice and the vocabulary they use wash over you. Absorb it.

2) Read some screenplays and start listening to dialogue like a writer. Screenplays are a good source because film/television often relies heavily on dialogue to communicate character. The lines are intentional, they're economic, they convey ideas in a way that most of us wouldn't be able to come up with off the cuff. Consider the different ways lines can be delivered and how that can change their entire meaning.

3) Everyone has vocal tics. We all have certain ways of speaking. It's where regional accents and slang come from and it's how we express a specific image of ourselves. People SPEAK differently. Uptalk, vocal fry, pauses for emphasis, laughing to lighten the heaviness of the words, certain turns of phrase, mumbling, showmanship, whatever. Train your ear to clock those things and figure out how to use them to bring out character personality.

4) Check out some improv. If you have an improv group in your area, check them out! There's also tons of improv content online. If you're ever like "how did someone come up with that absolute fucking BANGER of a line just off the top of their head???" The answer is 1) they probably didn't just think of it, and 2) they've practiced rapid-fire back and forth, often with a comedic bent.

5) Read out loud. If you're ever like "what would a real person sound like saying this," you have the answer. Say it yourself, in the way you envision them saying it, and see where it sounds clunky and can be smoothed out. Is there a way for you to convey emphasis where it's needed?

6) Dialogue tags do in fact matter. Every once in a while you'll see the advice that you should NEVER use dialogue tags besides "says/said" because "the dialogue should speak for itself." It's mostly bullshit. Don't use them for the sake of adding a different tag to every line of dialogue, but the WAY people say things can change the meaning of the words. So use them intentionally.

7) PRACTICE. Look. I fuckin know lol. But this advice always stands. Any creative expression requires practice to improve. It's incredibly rare to have a "natural" talent for anything. So just keep on keeping on. You're doing great. And you will continue to improve.

[edenfenixblogs]

Let’s put some numbers to Jewish fear right now.

In news that I’m sure will thrill all antisemites, it would take startlingly little effort to foment widespread violence against us and cause another genocide of the Jewish people.

I have had many fellow Jews express to me how overwhelming it is to see the rising antisemitism. I have seen many Jews express fear at being drowned out of public, online, and IRL spaces due to dangerously violent vitriol.

I have also seen people who claim to advocate for Palestine—especially western leftists—openly mock Jews who express this fear.

Finally, I and my fellow Jews have often expressed that, while we wholeheartedly support Palestinian freedom and self determination, it is exhausting to have to say so repeatedly, especially when we are trying to advocate for ourselves. This is not due to any latent or widespread hatred of Muslims, Arabs, or Palestinians. It is because we are an extremely maligned and marginalized minority that is fighting to be heard against strong, hostile forces that at best wish we’d shut up and at worst want us eradicated from the planet.

There is a disconnect about how much harm people can do to Jews by spreading antisemitism and refusing to dismantle their own internalized antisemitism—and everyone has internalized antisemitism. It is one of the oldest forms of prejudice in the world and is found in almost every single culture. It is as, if not more, pervasive than white privilege. Yes. You read that right. And if asked to elaborate, I will provide numbers on that to the best of my ability. For the purposes of this post, however, I want to focus on the global distribution of religious groups only.

Specifically, this disconnect is between Jews who are fully aware and feel the affects of this damage and goyim who simply do not comprehend our marginalization.

To help, let’s put some numbers to this. In this post, I’ll be using the Pew Research Center’s survey and findings on the Global Religious Landscape. This is the most recent data from a reputable source that I could find which surveyed every world religion at the same time. While the Jewish population has grown slightly in the intervening years, so have most (if not all) other religious populations around the globe. I wanted to use figures measured at the same time to avoid bias for or against any religious group.

For the purposes of this post, I will not be discussing folk religions or other religions. This is not because they are not important. This is because they are not a monolith and individual folk religions and other religions may have even fewer adherents per religion than Judaism. I am currently only focusing on religions and religious groups who have more adherents than Judaism.

In descending order of adherents, there number of people in the world belonging to these groups:

2,200,000,000 (2.2 Billion) Christians

1,600,000,000 (1.6 Billion) Muslims

1,100,000,000 (1.1 Billion) Religiously unaffiliated people

1,000,000,000 (1 Billion) Hindus

500,000,000 (500 Million) Buddhists

14,000,000 (14 Million) Jews

Reduced to the simplest fractions there are:

1100 Christians for every 7 Jews

800 Muslims for every 7 Jews

550 Religiously unaffiliated people for every 7 Jews

500 Hindus for every 7 Jews

250 Buddhists for every 7 Jews

Combined, there are 6,400,000,000 non-Jewish people in religions or religious groups (including religiously unaffiliated people).

This means that for every 7 Jews there are 3200 people in religious groups who outnumber us.

Jews are 0.2 % of the global population.

When we tell you that hate is dangerous, it is because…

It would only take 0.21% of 6.4 Billion people to hate us in order to completely overwhelm and outnumber every single Jewish person on the planet. In other words, only 67.2 out of every 3200 people.

And given how violent and aggressive people have become toward us in recent weeks, that doesn’t seem far off.

No, most Christians, Muslims, Atheists/Agnostics, Hindus, and Buddhists do NOT hate Jews.

But if even 0.21% of them do hate us, Jews are at a legitimate and terrifying risk of ethnic cleansing and genocide.

It is not possible for Jews alone to fight this rising tide of hate. There simply aren’t enough of us. And many of us are too scared to tell you the truth: if you don’t vocally and repeatedly stand up for Jews (and not just the ones you agree with) you will be complicit in the genocide that follows. Police your own communities.

Nobody acting in good faith is asking you to abandon Palestinians or their fight for self determination and equality in their homeland. All we are asking is for you to learn about antisemitism, deconstruct it in yourself, and loudly condemn it when it occurs in front of you. We are asking you to comfort us and not run away when we are scared or even angry at you. Because a lot of us are angry with you, because we are extremely scared right now and many of you are not helping us. Many of you are actively and carelessly spreading dogwhistles that further the global rise in hatred against us.

You can support Palestine AND avoid Islamophobia WITHOUT making antisemitism worse. But you can’t stop antisemitism by staying silent in the face of it. And if you don’t speak up, you will get us killed. Silence, in this case, is quite literally violence.

Many of us have armed guards posted at our synagogues and schools and community centers because of this. I certainly had times where my synagogue and school had to have armed security for our safety.

The only reason more of us haven’t died already is because we have millennia of experience in confronting this kind of hatred and guarding against it.

But in pure numbers, if you don’t speak up for us now, we don’t have a chance at survival without support.

So, what can you do, specifically?:

* Make a stand or public statement about condemning antisemitism without mentioning another group. Acknowledge Jewish fear, pain, and current danger without contextualizing it in someone else’s. It could literally be something as simple as “Antisemitism is bad. There’s never a reason for it. I won’t tolerate it in presence in real life or online.” If you cannot bring yourself to publicly make this statement, you should have a serious look at yourself to understand why you can’t.

* Learn about the six universal features of antisemitism and the many, various dog whistles affecting the global Jewish community

* Do not welcome people who espouse rhetoric that includes any features from the above bullet point in your community unless you are able to educate them and eliminate that behavior.

* Check in on your Jewish friends, regularly and repeatedly. Do not wait for them to reach out to you. They are scared of you. Even if you don’t have the emotional space to have conversations about antisemitism. Just send a message once in a while, unprompted, “Jfyi, antisemitism still sucks. I support you.”

* Redirect conversations about which “side” is “right” to how to attain peace. Do this by saying that this line of argument is not conducive to peace, and link to a well-respected organization not widely accused of either antisemitism or Islamophobia that is devoted to achieving a peaceful resolution, increasing education, or providing humanitarian aid to relevant affected groups—including Jews, Israelis, Palestinians, Muslims, and Arabs. You can find over 160 such organizations at the Alliance for Middle East Peace https://www.allmep.org/

* Look to support experienced groups without widespread and verifiable claims of prejudice against either Jews or Muslims or Arabs or Palestinians. Many of these organizations can also be found at the AllMEP link above. Avoid groups on the shit list as well as unproductive and harmful movements.

* Do not default to western methods of political demonstration. Specifically, protests are not useful in attaining peace in western nations at this time. Israelis and Palestinians can and should protest to the best of their abilities in Israel and Palestine so as to pressure their own governments. However, protests in western nations have proven to be poorly regulated and to further the spread of bigoted rhetoric and violence against Jews, Muslims, Arabs, and Palestinians. Furthermore, there are nearly as many Palestinians in the world as there are Jews. It is extremely easy and common for the voices of bad actors and bigots on all sides to completely drown out Jewish and Palestinian voices and concerns at these events.

* Spend more time listening and learning than speaking and acting. Anyone who tells you this conflict is simple is someone who is lying to you. Take the time to learn the ways in which your actions and words can get people hurt before joining the fray.

* Stop demonizing Zionism as a concept, even if you disagree with it. Understand that it is a philosophy with many different movements that often conflict with each other. The Zionism practiced by Netanyahu and the Likud party is NOT representative of most Zionists or interpretations of Zionism. It is an extremist form of Zionism known as Revisionist Zionism.

* Don’t deny Jewish indigeneity to the levant. It doesn’t help Palestine and hurts Jews by erasing our physical and cultural history as well as erasing the Jews who remained in Israel even through widespread diaspora.

* KEEP THE HOLOCAUST OUT OF YOUR MOUTH

Things That Are Always OK

* Denouncing Antisemitism loudly and publicly

* Denouncing Islamophobia loudly and publicly

* Telling your Jewish and Muslim and Arab friends you support them and won't abandon them

* Elevating the work of respected, widely accepted people and organizations devoted to attaining peace for all, rather than just one group of people.

* Develop media literacy

* Understand what aspects of the current western leftist movements Jews are criticizing, rather than assuming our criticisms are motivated by hatred for Palestine or Palestinians.

* Expressing sorrow for civilian deaths regardless of religion or nationality.

* When you are not Jewish and you share a post about antisemitism from a Jewish person, please say you’re a goy. This isn’t because you’re not welcome to share. This is because it is indescribably comforting to know we aren’t just talking amongst ourselves and screaming into the void. Let us know you are supportive of us. It doesn’t mean that you or we hate Palestine or Palestinians or that we oppose their full and equal rights in our shared homeland.

[strangespector]

You Said You’d Be Here

Summary: Conflicting schedules, a broken promise and physical altercation that leads to disaster

Words: 1013

TW: Slight violence that happens by accident. Nothing major, but you have been warned.

Falling in love with Jenna Ortega was like stepping into a dream. I met her at a small meet and greet session for her book launch, in a dimly lit café. We hit it off immediately, our chemistry undeniable. The early days of our relationship were filled with laughter, late-night conversations, and stolen kisses. Jenna was everything I had ever wanted—talented, kind, and full of life.

However, as her fame grew, so did the demands on her time. She was constantly traveling, recording, and performing. The time we once had for each other dwindled, replaced by hurried phone calls and fleeting text messages. I tried to be supportive, understanding that this was her dream, but it was hard not to feel left behind.

Our first big fight happened after she missed my birthday. She had promised she would be there, but a last-minute opportunity to perform at a high-profile event came up, and she couldn’t turn it down. I spent the evening alone, my heart aching with disappointment. When she called to apologize, I couldn’t hide my hurt.

“You said you’d be here, Jenna,” I said, my voice trembling. “I know your career is important, but so is our relationship.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, sounding exhausted. “I didn’t want to miss it, but you know how important this performance was.”

“It feels like I’m not a priority anymore,” I confessed. “Like I’m always coming second to your career.”

Her silence spoke volumes, and I knew then that things would only get harder.

The fights became more frequent. I resented her growing fame and the way it seemed to pull her further away from me. She, in turn, felt trapped between her love for me and her passion for her career. The tension between us grew unbearable, and we found ourselves arguing over the smallest things.

One night, after a particularly heated argument, things escalated to a level I never imagined. Jenna had just returned from a press tour, and I had planned a special dinner to welcome her back. She arrived late, visibly tired and irritable. When I tried to express my feelings, she snapped.

“You don’t understand!” she yelled, her eyes flashing with frustration. “I’m doing this for us, for our future!”

I tried to stay calm, but my own frustration was bubbling up. “It doesn’t feel like it! It feels like you’re doing it for yourself, and I’m just an afterthought!”

Jenna’s face twisted in anger. Without warning, she grabbed a heavy candle holder from the table and hurled it at me. I barely had time to react, and it struck me on the forehead. Pain exploded through my skull, and I stumbled back, feeling something warm and wet trickle down my face. Blood.

Jenna's face immediately changed from anger to horror. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice shaking as she rushed toward me. “I didn’t mean to—”

I held up a hand to stop her, my vision blurring. “Just... just stay away from me,” I managed to say, my voice cracking. I couldn’t look at her. The betrayal, the physical pain, and the emotional wound were too much to bear.

I went to the bathroom, dabbing at the cut with a wet towel, trying to stop the bleeding. Jenna stood at the door, tears streaming down her face. “Please, let me help,” she pleaded.

I shook my head, unable to meet her eyes. “No, Jenna. This... this is too much. I need to go.”

Her sobs followed me as I left the house, my heart breaking with every step. The realization that our love had turned toxic was undeniable. I knew then that we couldn’t continue like this. The break turned into a breakup, and just like that, our relationship was over. The heartache was overwhelming, and for weeks, I struggled to move on.

But time, as it always does, began to heal my wounds. I started focusing on myself, rediscovering passions and hobbies I had neglected. Slowly, I began to find joy in the little things again. It was during this time that I met Sabrina Carpenter.

Sabrina was different from Jenna in so many ways. She was grounded, attentive, and genuinely interested in spending time together. We connected on a deeper level, our relationship built on mutual respect and understanding. Sabrina helped me realize that while Jenna had been a significant part of my life, she wasn’t the only source of happiness.

One evening, as Sabrina and I sat on the porch watching the sunset, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I had loved and lost, but I had also grown and found love again. Jenna would always hold a special place in my heart, but I knew now that moving on was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Years later, I ran into Jenna at a charity event. She looked as stunning as ever, her presence still magnetic. We exchanged pleasantries, and it wasn’t long before the conversation turned personal.

“I’ve missed you,” she admitted, her eyes filled with regret. “I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone. I wish things had turned out differently between us.”

I felt a pang of sadness, but also a sense of closure. “We both had to follow our own paths,” I said gently. “I’ll always cherish the time we had, but I’ve moved on. I’m happy now.”

Jenna nodded, a bittersweet smile on her lips. “I’m glad you found happiness. You deserve it.”

As Sabrina joined me, her presence a comforting reminder of the life I had built, I introduced her to Jenna. There was no jealousy, no lingering heartache—just a sense of acceptance and peace. We had all grown in our own ways, and while our paths had diverged, they had led us to where we were meant to be.

Sabrina turned to me and smiled, her eyes filled with warmth. “You know, I’m really glad we found each other,” she said softly.

“Me too,” I replied, squeezing her hand. “Me too.”

[forbebeandjam]

Kiss & Makeup | Bada Lee x Fem Reader | Fluff

Summary: You’re tired of chasing after her but she doesn’t want to give you up.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: mild cursing and make out.

A/N: Currently thinking about a part 2 smut for this one. What do you guys think?

"Wait! Bada wait!" You yelled as you chased after her. Your short legs were unable to catch up to her as she walked down the hall.

"Bada! Shit!" You said as she shut the door to the hideout. You never understood Bada. She hired you as her personal makeup artist three years ago and her attitude suddenly changed in the last few days.

You had to stay next to her throughout the filming of Street Woman Fighter 2 and it was draining.

Due to this, you knew about all of her deepest and darkest secrets. You knew that the relationship with her boyfriend was slowly crumbling away and maybe that's why her mood was changing.

Maybe that was the reason why she has been so mean and angry towards you. Because she knew she couldn't take it out on anyone else. And to be fully honest, you were tired of it.

Every time during touch-ups, she would be on her phone talking, or more like shouting, with her boyfriend about something. Whether it was about time, skills, cheating, or whatever other stupid things, you would hear it all.

So you had just come back from an agonizing fight. You had a pounding headache and you hadn't finished touching up her makeup since she decided to storm off. You sighed and leaned on the wall.

"Bada giving you a hard time again?" You heard a voice and your head snapped to where it came from. There you found Redy leaning against the wall as well with a sweet smile.

You were destined to have the same path but you gave up dancing for your family and you don't regret it since you always had Redy next to you to support your career and goals.

"Yeah. I don't blame her but I'm tired. I can't keep running around trying to get her ready for the camera if she doesn't let me," you said trying to fix up the makeup bag you had on your hand.

"Give her some time. Maybe she's just stressed," Redy said as she helped you put your things in order.

"But everyone here is stressed and not everyone treats me like that. I even do Jam's makeup sometimes and they are under more pressure but they are always nice. BEBE is nice to me as well so I just don't get why she's such an ass," you said causing Redy to chuckle.

"We all express ourselves differently. Is there something you do when she's feeling this way that might trigger her?" She asked.

"No... well... I try to get her mind off things by explaining what I'm doing and showing her the products but that doesn't change the fact that she's rude," you said.

"Ah~ I get it. I think she-"

"Y/N, can you come to touch up my makeup now?" You heard Bada's voice filled with sadness.

"Well, I have to go but I'll see you around," Redy said quickly getting up and walking away. You sighed and hung the bag around your shoulder to walk towards her.

You walked into the hideout and started patting away on her face using your brushes to accentuate her eyes and lips. You added a shadow to her beauty mark to make it pop and carefully curled her lashes with a hot wooden stick.

Suddenly you felt her grab your arm. You panicked thinking you had burned her.

"I'm sorry! Did I burn you? let me see," you panicked looking for aloe gel but she shook her head as she stood up.

"Why are you so quiet today?" She said with her raspy voice.

"Well, I just figured you weren't feeling well so for once I decided to give you some silence. I am also not feeling too well," you said.

"How come you were so chatty with Redy? You even called me an asshole. So, what is it?" Bada asked once more not letting go of your hand.

You dropped the brush as you felt her grip tightened around your wrist.

"Bada, let go. Now I have to wash and disinfect the brush," just as you were about to bend down to pick up the brush, she managed to pull you back up and pull you into her chest.

"Why are you so indifferent towards me?" She said.

"I'm not! Im just tired, okay?" You said as you pulled your wrist away and picked up the brush. You began to gather your things but paused in the process.

Maybe it was time to open up to her. Maybe it was time you told her how you really felt about her.

"I'm tired of always listening to your fights with your boyfriend. I'm tired of having to pick up the pieces. I am tired of having to deal with your attitude when you fight with him. I'm tired of chasing after you. I always have. In middle and high school, when we danced in the same crew, even when I graduated beauty school, I chose to be around you and I'm tired, Bada. I don't deserve this," you said as you closed your bag and swung it over your shoulder.

"I broke up with him," she said and you froze in your spot.

"Why are you telling me this?" You said as you looked through your bag for your car keys.

"You said you've been chasing me and I have to admit that I have been running away. I have been too scared and blind to see that through all my struggles you were right next to me. And you were right. I have been an asshole to you, and no matter how many times I push you away to not hurt you, you are still here. Why?" She asked this time. You felt her walking closer to you.

"Bada, let's not do this right now. you have to be on in fifty minutes and I really don't want you to be distracted," you said swallowing the true words you wanted to say.

She didn't say anything else and you made your way to your car. You knew she wouldn't follow you and you didn't expect her to. You planned to quit which was not your best option. You had no experience outside of being Bada's makeup artist and you were sure she wouldn't vouch for you if you found a new job.

Your thoughts were that she probably enjoyed having you behind her like a lost puppy. Or maybe she really liked your company but whatever it was, you didn't think your heart could take it any longer.

You couldn't believe that after all of these years, she had been so blind to your feelings. To the crazy love you have for her. How could she not see it after fighting your way through beauty school just to be her personal makeup artist?

You bit your lip as the tears threatened to escape your eyes. You couldn't cry. You refused to let anyone see you cry. You started your car and as you were about to drive, you saw a figure stand right in front of your car making you abruptly hit the brakes.

"What is wrong with you!?" You shouted as you honked at the dark figure before you. Suddenly they got in your car and took their hood. It was Bada.

"What are you doing!? I could've killed you. You need to be on that stage!" You said as you hit her arm.

"I don't go on yet. I have thirty minutes but I can't let you go like this. Don't walk away from me. I can't go onstage without you. I need you," she said as she gripped your arm. Her voice was filled with sincerity and her eyes were as teary as yours a few moments ago.

"What about what I need? It's hard enough having to deal with your nagging and attitude. You're never there for me," you said.

"Then let me be. Let me show you that I can be there for you. Let's start over again. Please stay," she said. You couldn't handle it. You were scared she was just messing with you again and the moment you gave in would all be the same.

"Bada don't do that," your last words come out as a sigh. You still refused to face her.

"Do what?" She said softly and you sighed once more in frustration. Turned to her harshly.

"Don't give me false hope. You will never see me the way I have seen you for all these years, Bada and it hurts, okay? It hurts to know that you will never love me the way I love-" Your words were cut short when she grabbed your head and planted her lips on yours.

A million thoughts and emotions rush through your body, making it difficult for you to process what is happening. Your heart was pounding fast and you were scared she might be able to hear it.

But that all went away.

It melted away when she moved her lips. You melted into her arms and moved your lips in sync with hers. Her tongue ran through your bottom lip asking for access that you gladly granted.

Your tongues massaged each other and you finally decided to break the kiss as you gasped for air. She connected your foreheads with her not letting go of your face. You could see a small tear escape her eye.

You two shared a moment of stillness when she suddenly kissed your cheek. She placed a soft peck on your nose, your forehead, your chin, and then your lips.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for making you suffer like this. I'm sorry I made you cry and tried to push you away. I'm sorry I used you for my own selfish reasons but... I can't live without you. Don't leave. I can't go on that stage without you," she had you in a warm embrace by this time and you were speechless.

"I have always loved you but I thought my life would only affect your career path. Then you came back to me and I was heartbroken when I saw you look at me dance with a wide smile on your face. I knew how much you wanted to be on stage with me. Please let me love you," she said not letting go of you.

Your soft sobs began to fill the car and she just held you tightly until your cries died down. She slowly broke away from the hug to ensure you were okay.

"Am I dreaming?" You said as you sniffled making her chuckle.

"It's all real. See? It's real," she said as she grabbed your hands and placed them on her face while she kissed them.

"Can you please stay?" She asked one more time. You felt a heavy weight lift off your shoulders. A huge smile was painted across your face and she kissed your tear-stained cheeks.

"I'll stay," you said and a warm smile adorned her face. You two shared a moment till a loud knock interrupted the silence.

"Bada, we need to go now. Share your lovey-dovey moment later!" Tatter said immediately when you rolled down your window.

The three of you quickly rushed to the stage and you tried to fix Bada's smudged lips and your own eye makeup.

That night you saw Bada shine on the stage like never before. Her charisma and smile were radiating and her energy was through the roof all because of you, defeating the opposing team.

After Daniel announced the winner, she blew a kiss at you not caring if there were fans or cameras around. She was finally the happiest she could ever be and she was determined to make you the happier you could ever be, by her side.

Thank you for reading and let me know if want a part 2🩵

[caputvulpinum]

this might seem dumb and i promise im being genuine here. im just kind of fucking stupid and i would appreciate a little reassurance if you have the time

am i a bad person for not being able to reclaim queer?

i have a lot of trauma with the word and people using it for me without my consent is really triggering. my abusers used it and other words as slurs while they were hurting me. ive been trying really hard to get over it, i promise, but when it's used against me i still like... have panic attacks and flashbacks. other people using it for themselves doesn't do that to me, it's just when it's used toward me.

does not being comfortable with it being used on me make me a TERF? in the past people have taken "please don't call me queer" as "nobody should ever use that word" and even though im trans, theyve told me it's TERFy not to use it? i absolutely support other people reclaiming it and i really am trying to get over myself, but the panic attacks keep happening and now i'm paranoid that im a bad person for not being able to use it

I think the biggest frustration I have with this whole thing is that a narrative has been created where people would tell you yes, Anon, that you are a TERF and so on. And that's just not the case.

Even beyond the fact that words mean things and TERF doesn't just mean "transphobia on tumblr", the fact is that there are always going to be people whose experiences with a word will never be able to be reconciled. I've said throughout this whole thing: Every word we have ever had for ourselves is a slur, because they have all, always, been used as slurs against us.

And what I mean with that is not just "So fighting against queer as a term is therefore transphobic for this and other reasons".

What I also mean is "We need to be aware that there will never be a perfect word. There will never be a word which has been harmless. There is no point in trying to invent new terminologies to escape ongoing oppression, because those terminologies will just be used against us in the same way all others are."

Anon, you aren't a bad person for having traumatic experiences with being called a slur. The idea of that is ridiculous, and I'm as sorry you've been made to feel that way as I am angry at the people who said that to you. Barely better than your traumatizers if at all, all of them.

But I want you to also hear what I am telling you. You have faced experiences which were traumatic for you. This word is one which is a weapon that can always be used against you, right now, and it will never miss its mark. Traumas do not exist in a vacuum: you can't let it keep festering in you.

Because it's like I kept saying as well...if you allow your oppressors to have the language that can harm you, they will use it. Queer is a word you can't use for yourself right now. That's okay. You are not a bad person for that. But traumas can't go untreated. I'd recommend looking into mental health resources for LGBTQ+ people in your area. Therapy works. At its most basic level, therapy would give you the vocabulary you need to express how this is a trauma of yours, and might even be vocabulary which better helps you understand why it remains so harmful for you. I hope for your sake that you can one day make a decision for yourself on this word that isn't being controlled on a traumatic level for you, even if the decision you make is "I still don't like it for me". Hell, especially if that's the decision you make. What matters, Anon, is that you decide what words you want for yourself, and not the people who traumatized you deciding for you.

[hyukaslvr]

strong enough | J. Jungkook (3)

<series masterlist

pairing: Jungkook x (f) reader

genre/tags: idol! Jungkook, idol! reader, idiot exes to lovers, slow burn ; k-drama feels (our beloved summer but not at the same time), angst, drama, fluff, smut

warnings: foul/explicit language, alcohol consumption, unhealthy coping mechanisms, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters, panic attacks, reader is harsh towards Jungkook, Jungkook is a meanie!, mentions of old abuse (major trigger warning!!), talk about blood and wounds

w.c: TBD

series summary: you and Jungkook have too many personal problems, during and after your relationship and it keeps getting brought up. you both had tried multiple times to ignore the fact you were both struggling mentally and physically due to your workplace, but you always run back to each other. maybe one day, one day you'll get back to each other, with all your problems handled, maybe not. all you want is for him to shine like he always does, all he wants is you.

a/n at very bottom!

To my love, my forever. You will soon find out the reason why I am the way am I. Give me some time, my love, I will express everything and more to you. Soon, you’ll have everything once I am able to love and care for myself the way I want to do to you. You deserve everything and more than what I could ever give you, and I will be there for you always. I may never give you this, I may never allow you to read this. But just know, you mean so much to me. Even if I’m a pain in the ass, or if I piss you off, you will always be the person who helped me want to change for the better. I know it may seem like i’m leaving you behind, but pushing you away is the best way for me and you to be able to find ourselves. Once we are settled and ready, I will never let you go, ever again. Mark my words, use them against me, but I know that once you let me in, I’ll never leave your side ever again. You’re my one and only, forever. You are my future, my light, the person who drags me to be right. You mean so much to me and more. But for now, let me go to become the one that deserves your love and wellbeing. Take care of yourself, Jungkook, you will do many good things in life, with or without me.

“i think you should give it to him,” one of your members slur out, making your already wobbly head tilt up to her as she hiccups for the 5th time that same hour, you sighed and your head pounded as your squinted tightly to look at her, “seriously! i think he would want closure that way,”

Jungkook definitely did. he knew that when you wrote letters, you meant every little thing. he knew something happened between you and your ex, his name is like a slap in the face to you, and he could always notice.

his hands started to shake as he continued to read your note, he didn’t know how you came all the way to his house just to ring the door bell and drop it off. he was even shocked to notice his name in your handwriting on the top of the note. he wasn’t mad about it, he was just so, so sad. his eyes burned as another drop fell onto his lap. Jungkook knew it was for the best, but why does it hurt so bad and why does he feel like he’ll never get better while you do?

Jungkook didn’t want to think that way, but he did. he always did, he hurts to see you go but hurts even more to see you shine without him. he kept all your little notes in a box, he was really considering giving it back to you since it was at some of your most vulnerable times. he wouldn’t want to keep these just in case he snoops through them, like he’s doing right now as he was putting the other note in there along with the tons of others.

one of them wrote a song that you made about him, him never leaving you and the way you love him. it breaks his heart more, knowing that you’re no longer around, and that he just keeps fucking up.

when you wake up the next morning, your hungover member told you about a box she found outside the door step with your name on it, your ears ring as you stand in front of the box sitting on your bed, biting the inside of your cheek because this was Jungkook’s box. it had a polaroid of the two of you with shots in your hands on his balcony last summer. it was his favorite picture of you both and wanted to keep it with all the letters you even written him.

you pace around your room for like and hour, biting your lip and running your hand through your hair to calm yourself down. it finally felt like you guys were officially over, no matter how many times you’ve broken up. when you opened it finally, there was a new one, one you definitely didn’t write. you don’t even remember going to his house and giving him the one you were gonna keep for your sake.

it was Jungkook’s hand writing, you knew it from the back of your palm, literally as you have a tattoo that he gave you himself. it read,

forever

and looking at it makes you sick. you felt like crap anytime you thought of him, what you had put him through, all the stuff he doesn’t know about you. you knew him so well, but did he actually even know you, truly? it made you want to cry, the tears lining your waterline and you fight the urge.

you give yourself time before opening up his letter, preparing yourself for the worst or to cry. when you start reading it, you felt like he was there with you. it felt as if he was pacing around your room, looking you dead in the eyes and telling you everything you’ve been wanting to hear, but at the wrong time.

I miss you a lot, I know I say that a lot, but it’s true. I’m glad you wrote me this, I’m glad you’re trying to find ways to open up to me, I’m glad you love me. You are my everything, I want what’s best for you, and if it’s not me then so be it. You deserve the whole fucking world, and I hope you know I tried so hard to give it to you. Maybe, in the long run, we can be happy together. Maybe we can be able to know each other truly, I always wanted to. I believe in right person, wrong time, because you’ll forever be my person, even if i’m not in the picture. I love you, ______, I always will.

you wanted to sob, you didn’t even know what to do. you had dropped the note off not expecting anything back, but getting everything back? even a letter from him, confessing how much he loves and cares for you. you didn’t know how to feel, if it was closure or not. to you, yours was supposed to be. his, his was a love letter, you’ll never let go of it.

you had one more promotion for you group, and you had to prepare in so many ways. you had to practice tons, and practing handling your emotions until you’re a zombie to what you truly feel, you couldn’t handle being around Jungkook for long. it’s crazy, how much you used to look at him thinking you’d never do anything to hurt him, yet you’re over here making him suffer because you are in your head. it tears at the deepest parts of you, and it makes you feel so much at once.

so when it came to the event, you felt your knees lock when you saw him sitting with his team. he looked breathtaking, and it sucks that you can’t look at him for long before you cry because he looks too good. Jungkook always looked good, but whenever you wanted to ignore him, it’s like he knows and wants to look that fine. you gulp hard because walking to over your assigned seats, a couple seats back behind them but at an angle to a way that you can see every part of Jungkook, his hands and thighs especially.

ones that put you through hell, sent you to another universe is what he would of said and has said before, smoking off your balcony as you sat on his lap with your legs shaking trying to not fall off. he laughed as he smacked your thighs, watching them shake more as you practically whine in soreness.

he took another puff off his cig before putting it down on his designated ash tray, but even knowing you didn’t smoke, he kissed you hard, forcing the hot smoke into your mouth and through your pipes, allowing him to do anything to you because you were obsessed with everything he did.

“fucked you out, huh, princess?” he said against your ear as he gave you a second to breathe, making you almost choke as his hand started to move down and between your thighs, giving them a squeeze before going deep between them to touch you where you shook the most.

let’s just say, the memory had your legs close tightly together. the thought of how much have gave you that night, it made you miss him even more for just taking care of you like he said he would. you could feel it starting to stick against your skin, immediately wanting to go to the bathroom.

you thought you were stable enough to walk down the stairs in front of all the idols and fans including, instead you almost dropped face first into the steps instead someone’s hand wrapped around your waist and around the inside of your thigh, gripping it hard as they held you from falling to your death infront of thousands of people.

“your shoes too big for you, baby?”

you really thought you were going crazy, that his presence was just teasing you. but as your eyes dragged themselves down to the hand around the inside of your thigh, you weren’t going crazy. the tattoos proving who the man really was and how his thumb was very close to your throbbing clit. you shivered before quicking bowing at him once you leave his grip and speed walking towards the exit.

the moment you got alone in a hallway, you looked around before pulling out your phone to text your leader where you were going to be, the bathroom, before you hear a door open behind you. you go to put your phone away, but a tight grip around your waist turns you towards the person, your phone falling on to the floor and your mouth to open up, perfect for the attacker to kiss you hard.

another hand grabs your hair and you immediately knew who it was based on the way he was holding you. he knew, and knew it was because of him. that’s all your thought about when his lips were softly against yours, until you felt his hands creeping up. he just knew how to distract you from the facts and knows how to get you to enjoy his attack.

“can we talk soon, princess?” he whispers lowly in your ear once he pulls away from your now desperate lips trying to reach his. you whimper at the nickname, one that just rolls off his tongue in such a degrading way, he grabs your chin softly, turning your face to face him. his eyes invited yours, and the longer you looked into them, the more you felt entranced by him.

“talk about what?” you sighed into his hold, which he notices and gives you your favorite smile in the whole world. it hard to ignore his hands gripping your waist, your hands clinging onto his dress shirt as he holds you, you didn’t expect to be in this position.

“we will talk later tonight, i’ll pick you up?”

“how, with what car-”

“i’ll figure it out, anything for you,” he presses his forehead against yours, making your eyes squeeze shut as he lets out a little chuckle because of your reaction to his proximity being so close to you, you could almost feel his breath against your lips. “you know i’ll do whatever i need to do to see you, i will figure out a way to see you later tonight, bunny, i promise,” he kisses your nose softly before letting you go without your even realizing he picked up your phone for you, a smile across his face as you nodded your head for him.

Jungkook didn’t give you a time, or a place to when he was going to pick you up. before you left the event, you had asked him what he was planning on doing with you and he just told you that you’ll have to wait and find out. Jungkook knew how to make you worry about what could happen. what should you even wear? is he taking me somewhere to eat? it’s kinda late for that-

doink

something just hit your window as you were pulling your pants up, you almost tripped in shock but managed to pull them up and fix yourself before going to your window. there he was, the man of your dreams, the love of your life, standing down there searching for more rocks to toss at your window.

you cracked your dorm room window open, not even wanting to question how he managed to get over the brick wall to get into the dorms, and he smiles when he sees your head peaking from the bottom of the window. he pats his hands on his thighs while you watch him with curiosity.

“get down here bunny, we have a lot to do tonight,” he stood up straight, hands put in his pockets as he stared off at you. you would of jumped right there into his arms after that nickname, you almost whined before nodding your head like an idiot and shutting your window.

you managed to sneak out, grabbed your shoes at the front and headed out from the back blind spot and running to where Jungkook stood, his hands tucked in his pockets to stay warm. his left arm raised so you could wrap your arm around it, a habit of the both of you. you just ignored the bad feelings and wrapped your arm around his, feeling his arm tighten around yours as you both started to walk to the car.

“you gonna tell me where we’re going, Jeon?” you tilt your head, your left knee against his center console as your left side rested on his passenger seat. his hand slid up to your knee, leaving you in shock as he gripped it in warning.

“stop asking questions, baby,” he tapped his finger on your knee, not even bothering to look your way. you huffed as you closed your eyes, trying to ignore his thumb moving against your thigh now, his hand resting against it too.

“Jungkook, you know we can be doing this again. i know you remember what happened last time,” you warned, your head felt like it was spinning, none of this felt real. Jungkook bit his lip ring in thought, he just wanted to talk to you and apologize. he always wants to talk to you even if he’s been rude.

“______, what do you think i’m going to do to you tonight?” he spoke deeply, it sent waves through your spine, and down to your poor kitty. it’s crazy, what this big eyed man can do to you with only his hand on your thigh while he speaks to you like your his.

“i- i don’t know, what are you asking me? i’m just confused why you’re doing this-”

“what do you want me to do to you tonight, baby? is there something else bothering you that only i can fix?” his hand rubs your inner thigh, occasionally softly squeezing the skin closest to where you needed help the most. “i’ll do whatever you want me to do to you, you just have to speak up, darling. is that okay? can you do that for me, princess?”

you almost moaned, gasping at his eagerness to help you with whatever you want, and you knew he meant that. “Jungkook, we can’t be doing thing again, as much as we want to-”

“fuck that and fuck no contact, we were doing good as fuck the last time we were friends. can we not be friends, baby?”

“that’s why! you keep calling me my favorites, you can’t do that to me..” you whined, you wanted to hide away as he giggled at how you whined. when the car slowly starts to come to a stop, you got reminded that the whole time you were talking to him, getting teased by him, he was driving. “Jungkook… where are we?”

“let me help you out and show you,” he smiled, and you just knew that you had to trust him, why? because he’s Jeon Jungkook, why wouldn’t you trust the love of your life?

when he open your door, hand already reaching for his as he helped you out of the car, the smell of salt hit your face in a whiff, making you smile at the moment you had at this beach with Jungkook. but why here? why did he want to talk here?

you didn’t trust your voice, watching his open his back door to grab a blanket and cigs, which you thought he quit, with a lighter and a flashlight. you didn’t say a word as you hugged onto his arm as he walked to a specific place, your guys place. the place where he gave you head for the very first time, you found sand up there for at least a day after that.

“do you trust me, sugar?” Jungkook asked you, tugging you to sit next to him on the blanket over the cold sand at the dark lonely beach. it’s like he knew what you were worried about, could you trust him again? it’s not like he broke your trust, it’s about you trusting yourself around him. if anything besides talking happens tonight, and you guys become exactly what you were afraid of becoming, you won’t know what to do with yourself.

it’s a bit selfish you thought, as his hand rested against your shoulder as you snuggled against his neck, breathing in only Jungkook and a little bit of salt. you loved this, but it couldn’t get any farther than this. just small, and slight, touches and sometimes kisses, only at certain times. the sound of the waves crashing tingled your ears, debating if you should listen to his heartbeat or not.

“do you know why i want you out here with me tonight, baby?” his voice vibrated your cheek as he spoke, his fingers gliding against the thin fabric of your long sleeved shirt. you hummed, you felt him swallow before you moved your head to face him.

“i wouldn’t have asked you that a million times in the car, Jungkook,” he smiles when your eyes finally reach his. he used to ask you, what did you see when you looked into his eyes? you usually just laughed it off or ignored the question, but now you think you know the questions answer. Home. in other words, Jungkook was your confort, the one you would go to, the one who makes you feel the safest, the one who keeps you feeling warm. Jungkook was your favorite.

Jungkook leans in, you can almost feel his breath against the wind, you almost forget where you are when you look deeply into his eyes. he leans so close to you that you could almost kiss him. you feel his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer- and closer to him, until your hovering above him.

you looked down at him, his hand sliding down your waist and on to your thigh to swing your leg over his body. he’s got you now, almost spread wide for him as his eyes glazed your entire body, making your shiver.

“let’s that about why you were so wet when i caught you from eating shit in front of everyone today, huh? or maybe… why you’re so wet right now, was it from the car ride? you just couldn’t wait, hm? baby?” he smacked your thigh, and you almost whimper at his words, “sit down on me, love. you know you want to. i’ll do anything you want me to, just let me in this one or more times and you won’t regret it this time,”

oh boy, you were in for a ride. baby, princess, sugar, darling, bunny, love. hearing that one burned, deeply in two places. your poor heart as you feel his hands grip your sides, and your poor throbbing cunt that it about to get slammed onto his hard on resting below you. either or, you know you’re safe and whatever happens can be dealt with. why? because you’re with Jeon Jungkook, why wouldn’t it be fine?

a/n: holy shit, this took forever and i sincerely apologize!! i love how this episode turned out and i will give you guys a slight warning! spicy scenes are coming up and I’m not backing down from this. it will be the dirtiest, most greatest- yeah! anyways, thank you for your patience, i love you all🥹

taglist: @loumin908 @heartjiminie @cuntessaiii @parkinglot-nights @minsoa97kor @jkgirlfr @lavendersugarplum @gaebestie @whoa-jo @kp0pficdump @yunholuv @skzthinker @shwkoqp18 @veemegatron @kaiparkerwifes @alextgef @nerdycheol @nightappple @nlr1606 @chl0buggy

if your tag isn’t gray, please fix your settings so i can tag you next time love!

[dumbasswithapen]

can we just listen to Disabled people when they say what accommodations they need??? Like it really isn’t that hard to just take someone’s word on what is best for their own body! Whether it’s more or less or different than what you deem they need it really isn’t your place to say!!!

Sometimes, people need more than they show! Especially if they’re used to being in pain all the time, then they won’t always display that discomfort.

Sometimes the accommodations someone needs are different than what you assume. A friend who struggles with noise sensitivity may ask for you to turn on a different type of music, instead of turning it down, and if that is what they express they need you don’t have to say “oh no I can just turn it down!” and ignore them saying that that isn’t necessary because your idea of noise sensitivity is different than their own experiences and needs.

And sometimes people need less than you try to provide! Or simply don’t want that accommodation at the time! And here’s the crazy part: this applies even if what they say to do could hurt them. Obviously this isn’t a rule for every situation*, but for some it absolutely is. If your friend wants to tag along for, say, a hike, and they have joint pain it isn’t your place to add in “oh no but they can’t do [the hike]! They’ll be in pain! We have to do something else to accommodate them!” If that person expressed a desire to go, especially if offered other options prior that wouldn’t hurt them, let them live. Let them do the thing that puts them in pain, because Disabled people don’t always want to be shoved into a little box of safety. Absolutely sometimes they do, and some might always want to, but if they don’t, then let them make their own choices for their body. Just as anyone else does. You go out and get drunk, even if it gives you a hangover. You go skating even if you’re shit at it and scratch up your knees a bunch. Just because someone is Disabled doesn’t mean that they can’t do the same thing and do that fun thing that hurts them.

I don’t know if I’m displaying my point how I want, so here’s my own example: I am allergic to the cold. Anything below 60 degrees (f) I get hives. Any water cooler than a fucking warm shower I get hives. My joints don’t do great when it’s cold out. This does not mean that when I say I want to go swimming, you can say “oh but you can’t you’ll get hives!” Or “no you can’t do that you’ll be in pain!” Because. I know that. I know that. I know my Disability better than anyone else can, and I can ask for accommodations I need. I am not a child to be wrapped in bubble wrap so I don’t get hurt. My body is my body and I can do with it what I want, and face the consequences. Likewise, just because I said I wanted to go swimming doesn’t mean that when I don’t want to go out and muck around in the snow it is anyone’s right to say “oh but you wanted to swim earlier, so obviously it isn’t that bad for you!” Or “oh it’s fine it’s not that cold! Just wear a sweater!” Because at that time I need and want different accommodations and that should be listened to and considered accordingly, as far as it can be in that situation.

Seriously. Just listen to us. We are in our own bodies. We know ourselves. It really isn’t that hard

*a situation where this point would be null is, for example, a situation where the person has been peer pressured into doing something, or one where you know the person well and know that the endurance of pain is a self-harming behavior

[shitsndgiggs]

A/N: IT’S FINALLY HERE!

Part 1

SECOND CHANCES (Part 2) - KENAN YILDIZ

In which Kenan tries to make up for his mistakes

Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

A year had passed since that horrible day, and life with Kenan had transformed in unimaginable ways.

The icy barrier that once separated us melted, giving way to a warmth and connection I had never anticipated.

What started as an arranged marriage filled with resentment and coldness had blossomed into something genuine and beautiful.

Today marked our first anniversary, a milestone that felt surreal given the turbulent beginnings of our relationship. The thought made me smile as I got ready for the evening Kenan had planned.

He had been acting secretive all week, dropping hints about a surprise but refusing to give any details.

His excitement was endearing, and it warmed my heart to see how much effort he was putting into making this day special.

I slipped into the dress he had chosen for me—a stunning, deep blue gown that complemented my fair skin and dark hair. Just as I finished getting ready, I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Y/N, are you almost ready?" Kenan's voice was tinged with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

"Yes, just a moment," I replied, giving myself one last look in the mirror before opening the door.

Kenan stood there, looking incredibly handsome in a tailored suit. His eyes widened when he saw me, and a proud, admiring smile spread across his face. "You look beautiful," he said softly, offering his hand.

"Thank you," I replied, taking his hand and stepping out into the hallway. "You look very handsome yourself."

He led me downstairs, and I was stunned to see the living room transformed. Candles filled the space, casting a warm, romantic glow.

A table was set with a lavish dinner, and soft music played in the background, creating an intimate atmosphere.

"Kenan, this is amazing," I said, touched by the effort he had put into the evening.

"I'm glad you like it," he said, a hint of shyness in his voice. "I wanted tonight to be special. To show you how much I appreciate you giving us a second chance."

I squeezed his hand reassuringly. "You've shown me every day. This is just the icing on the cake."

We sat down to dinner, and the conversation flowed easily. We talked about our favorite memories from the past year, laughing at the silly moments and sharing our hopes for the future.

It was a far cry from the tense, uncomfortable silences that used to fill our home.

After dinner, Kenan stood up and offered his hand again. "May I have this dance?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with affection.

I smiled and took his hand, letting him lead me to the center of the room. He pulled me close, and we swayed to the music, lost in the moment.

As we danced, I felt a sense of peace and happiness that I hadn't felt in a long time.

"Y/N," Kenan whispered, his voice filled with emotion. "I want you to know how much you mean to me. I know I hurt you, and I can't change the past, but I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

I looked up at him, my heart swelling with love. "Kenan, you've already done so much. I see the effort you put in every day, and it means the world to me. I love you."

He leaned down and kissed me gently, his lips soft and warm against mine. "I love you too," he whispered against my lips. "More than I ever thought possible."

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter and tender moments. As the night came to an end, we found ourselves sitting on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. Kenan looked at me, his expression serious.

"Y/N, there's something I've been wanting to ask you," he said, taking my hand in his. "I know our marriage started under difficult circumstances, but I want to renew our vows. I want to make new promises to you, ones that come from my heart, not obligation."

Tears welled up in my eyes at his words. "Kenan, I'd love that. Renewing our vows would mean the world to me."

He smiled, pulling me closer. "Thank you, Y/N. For everything. For giving us a chance."

We sat there in comfortable silence, savoring the moment. Our journey had been far from easy, but it had brought us to this place of love and understanding.

And for the first time, I felt truly hopeful about our future together.

[maxknightley]

confession: i still don't understand what tme/tma js and i dont understand the google definitions because im kinda dumb, so i dont understand the arguments ): i feel like its too late to ask. it means transmysongony exempt right? i just. i dont get what that meabs!!

broadly speaking, TMA - or "transmisogyny affected" - means "amab transgender and nonbinary people." i.e., people who are the "intended target" of transmisogyny in the same way that Jewish people are targeted by antisemitism or gay people writ large are targeted by homophobia.

TME - "transmisogyny exempt" - is basically Everyone Else, including cis people as well as AFAB trans/nonbinary people.

the idea of the construction is to describe the ways in which transfems are harmed by cis people & "TME" trans people as well. but I have a few problems with this language:

I think it's absurd to describe cis men as "exempt from transmisogyny" because a major purpose of transmisogyny is to socially discipline GNC cis boys and men. as a thought exercise, I like to point out that I could have had the exact same experiences as a child/teenager, but if I hadn't transitioned, I would have magically ceased to be "affected by transmisogyny". I think this is Fucking Stupid because a large part of my childhood was defined by transmisogyny I didn't even know was transmisogyny yet.

we already had perfectly good language for what "tma" is intended to represent. namely, transfem. idiots and jerks misusing that language, describing themselves as "afab transfem" or whatever the hell, doesn't matter to me when 1. people are going to play silly little word games with literally any terminology marginalized people use to describe our experiences, and 2. the replacement terminology is actively worse at describing things.

whenever people use "TME" they're usually referring specifically to other people in the trans community, making it a transparent - and, imo, Worse - replacement for "afab." just say "afab" or "transmasc." let's be honest with ourselves.

while I think the ability to describe transmisogyny is necessary in order to express what it's like to be transfem, I feel that people often treat transmisogyny as if it's a separate construct that happens to intersect with other forms of transphobia and sexism. and I think this is silly, because transmisogyny is sexism is homophobia. they're all parts of a self-reinforcing structure and cannot be properly understood until we accept that you don't slay the hydra by continually cutting off its heads

I'm an extremely spiteful person. Every time I see a post that's based on the idea that Everyone Who Dislikes This Is Transmasc, or that Transgender Women Aren't "Allowed" To Be Butch And Therefore Don't Exist At All, my anger gauge fills up a little more. someday it will hit its maximum and I will be able to unleash my ultimate. that or I'll have a stress-induced heart attack

[peachhcs]

hughes brothers just seeing sam and will acting all couply and seeing how much the two are really in love

watching their baby sister fall in love

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

summary: the hughes brothers realize their baby sister finally found the guy for her + watch her fall in love

2.4k words

this request was so cutie and i enjoyed writing it :) pls send it anymore requests you guys have for samy and will!

au masterlist

for some reason, the hughes brothers never saw their baby sister's relationship with will coming except luke who was the one still around as the feelings grew and the relationship developed—of course he picked up on all of the signs the younger smith sibling gave samy. him and will were almost the same age, so the teenage pining was all too familiar to the middle hughes.

quinn and jack on the other hand? oh forget about them knowing until the summer they came home after samy finished up her senior year. with them being away for most of the year, they missed every single gaze, touch, and stolen glances between the teenagers as the year went on. plus, luke's not one to talk about his crushes in general, so why would he mention anything about his sister's love life to the two older siblings?

the entire relationship left all three of them speechless when it finally happened. watching samy and will interact at the draft in nashville was the brothers' first indication something was happening. they looked way too close than usual considering will's always been attached to luke or jack growing up. he'd just naturally gravitate towards the boys as they grew up in the summer months together pushing each other off the dock, having diving competitions, and playing hockey in the driveway. neither jack nor luke noticed will slowly attaching himself to their sister instead as the years went on.

when samy and will's first date came a month later, the boys were skeptical. of course they knew will and how he was the sweetest soul on the planet—it was their older brother instincts kicking in. samy was their baby sister and it took a certain guy to be the right one for her and neither of the brothers wanted her to get hurt. sure, will was family, but that didn't mean he couldn't fuck something up.

their teasing was relentless before they let the young couple leave, but really it was all a tactic to see how well will held up under this new dynamic.

"can you guys shut up?" samy eyed luke standing against the wall before glancing at their mom for help.

"what? we're just saying. mom never let us go out to ann arbor by ourselves when we were yoyr age," jack piped in from the couch. will stood beside samy in a nervous mess, unaware of the brothers (mostly jack and luke) eyeing him down.

"guys, just cool it, okay? let your sister be," jim stepped in because he was probably the only one that could shut jack and luke up. the boys shut their mouths after that and samy dragged will out of the house before anymore comments could be made.

"seriously?" ellen eyed her boys.

"what? we gotta poke fun at her too," luke defended.

"you were gonna give will a nervous breakdown," the older woman rolled her eyes.

"it's nothing he hasn't heard before. just gotta make sure he's up to our standards for our sister," jack shrugged.

they were still up when samy came back through the door at around 10:30. they all perked up when she walked into the kitchen with the biggest smile on her lips.

"someone's smiley," jack commented.

"maybe it's too early to say this, but i really think it's gonna work out between us. at least, i really hope it does," samy gushed, a lovesick expression on her features that her brothers had never seen before.

her words turned a gear in their brains. they've never heard her talk about a guy like that before nor had they seen a look like that on her face after she came back from a date. that stuck out to them and for a split second, they thought that maybe will was the right guy for her. maybe.

the start of the new school year had the hughes siblings breaking up until summer again. samy headed off to umich for her first semester, luke flew out to jersey with jack to really begin his rookie year, and quinn headed back out west to vancouver—a captaincy in his near future. with the brothers not there, they didn't see the development of will and samy's new relationship. yes, the siblings were close, but there were some things they didn't talk about in detail with one another. one of them being their relationships and love life.

anytime the youngest hughes was on facetime with her brothers, she only briefly mentioned will and they also never really asked. when summer quickly came back around and the gang reunited, they were still skeptical of will. was he really the guy for samy? was he becoming like every other jerk hockey player the boys knew all too well because well, they were once that guy too.

their relationship was approaching one year and the brothers finally got to see and understand that yes, will was the perfect guy for their sister.

lazy lake days were everyone's favorites because people went and did their own thing whether it was nap all day, tan, or just mess around. luke immersed himself with a conversation with some of his old umich friends. ethan and mark yapped on and on about their hockey season while luke chimed in with details from his rookie year. the boy missed being in michigan everyday, but he was glad he could reconnect with everyone during the summer months for a few weeks.

after awhile, luke needed to go inside to get a new drink. he nodded to some of his brother's friends on his way up the yard before sliding the glass doors open. relief filled his body as the cold ac air hit his skin and cooled him down from the burning 90 degree temperatures outside. he was about to head back outside until voices caught his attention in the living room.

he shuffled that way, not quite recognizing who was talking until he saw the faces. luke met samy and will's friends a few times, but he didn't know them that well. two boys stood by the couch snickering to one another with their phone cameras out. luke raised his eyebrow, trying to peer over them to see what had their attention.

he finally spotted his sister and will curled up on the couch together. samy's head was tucked into the crook of will's neck while his own head laid atop hers. her legs were thrown over his lap and his arm draped over her shoulders. seeing them in that position was still so foreign to the middle hughes.

"gonna have a whole album by the time summer's over," luke was pretty sure his name was ryan. ryan showed him the photo album on his phone titled smitty's so whippedwhich made luke laugh.

"god, they were so insufferable over the phone and even worse in person," gabe teased.

"will was always calling samy like at any chance he got. pretty sure we tried throwing will's phone out the window one time because he wouldn't stop calling her," ryan snickered.

luke's expression settled a bit the more he stared at his sister and will. it almost softened for a second thinking about will constantly calling her to hear her voice. that wasn't something a jerky hockey player did, luke thought in his head.

"they were annoying, but it was cute i suppose. never seen smitty act like this before, it's kind of nice seeing a different side of him," gabe added with a tiny smile.

the boys' words left luke thinking. he thought back to when samy came home after their first date last year and the look on her face he'd never seen before. hearing about will's change too made the hughes brother think maybe will wasn't like every other guy.

later that day, luke crowded around the kitchen island with quinn and jack as the three discussed when they wanted to go golfing and if they wanted to invite anyone. samy shuffled into the kitchen, sleep laced in her eyes still with will right behind her.

"morning," luke laughed a little seeing his sister.

"morning," the girl grumbled back obviously not in the mood for any teasing.

"heard you two had a pretty sound nap," jack chuckled.

"yeah, it was really nice actually. thanks for asking," samy's voice dripped with sarcasm towards her brother.

"jeez, someone's grumpy," the older brunette laughed which made quinn and luke chuckle too. all samy did was give him the middle finger as she bent down to pick up the bottle cap she dropped.

instinctively, will wrapped his hand around the counter edge so samy wouldn't hit her head when she came back up. the gesture went unnoticed by samy since it was in will's second nature to just do that, but the brothers saw it very clearly. they saw how will didn't even think when he did it, he just did.

neither of them mentioned it when they left, but all three of them thought about the gesture for awhile after.

jack wasn't good at falling asleep. his parents liked calling him the night owl in the family since they could never put him down for bed. he'd just jump right back up, his energy bursting to get out.

the middle hughes tiptoed around the guys asleep on air mattresses scattered across the house. he thought maybe some food could make him sleepy, so he started searching the fridge for a snack.

the guy didn't notice samy and will until he let his gaze drift to the backyard while he cut up some apples. his eyes stopped on the gently swinging hammock on the deck and the two people inside. he immediately recognized samy's frizzy curls—very much taking after luke with that gene.

jack wasn't meaning to be creepy, but he crept a bit closer to the back doors to get a better look. will's arm was draped around her shoulder and samy's head was on his chest. he could hear their faint voices through the door and small giggles at whatever they were talking about.

the older brunette smiled to himself briefly before a few tears edged their way to jack's eyes. seeing his sister in love was not something he thought would make him emotional, but after watching her grow up, it all felt bittersweet in jack's mind.

he was always the one samy would go to first after luke if she needed something. he was closer to her age and while she didn't think quinn couldn't give advice, he was six years older. jack and luke were and have always been samy's go to's. jack was emotional in the fact that his baby sister finally found someone who sat in a hammock with her late at night to look at the stars—especially someone she already knew so well.

he left them be after he cut up his apples, retreating back to his room where he'd go to sleep knowing samy was in the right hands.

water guns were most definitely the worst investment for the lake house. the hockey boys went crazy with them full and armed like they were going to squirt anyone who walked by them. somehow, some of the guys and the girls managed to get themselves into a mini water gun fight.

gabe and ryan teamed up against samy and hannah originally. their squealing caught the attention of some of the other guys who quickly ran to join gabe and ryan against the girls. rutger aided in throwing water balloons at them while mark and moldy chased them with water buckets. poor samy and hannah were severely out numbered.

"hey! you can't run forever!" moldy yelled as he chased after the youngest hughes with an entire bucket of water.

"i can and i will!" samy yelled back at him. the brothers found it amusing and endearing that a lot of their friends saw samy as their own little sister they could constantly tease.

will walked onto the deck where samy immediately ran to him as a shield. the blonde grew confused before he saw nick with the largest water bucket he'd ever seen.

"hey, woah. you can't dump that on me," will said as he held his arm out, shielding samy from the impending water.

"i will if you don't move so i can get samy," moldy laughed.

"i'm not a part of this, so technically, i'm a safe spot," will tried negotiating.

"i'm not sure it works like that, smitty. she runs to you, you're on her side," nick shrugged, smirking still.

"get her!" mark yelled as he ran towards the deck with his own water bucket. nick took that as a signal he could dump his water.

samy screamed as will quickly shoved her out of the way and took the hit as two buckets of water drenched him from head to toe. the boys broke out into laughter while samy stared in disbelief that her boyfriend was now dripping wet and she was perfectly dry.

"oh shit. i'm sorry will," the girl couldn't hold her giggles as she covered her mouth.

the blonde shook his hair out like a dog before breaking a tiny smile. "you're taking the hit next time," he mumbled, placing a chaste kiss to her lips.

quinn, jack, and luke had watched the entire interaction from where they sat together at their fire pit. the three of them were laughing watching poor will get soaked for samy.

"he's so whipped if he just took two buckets of water for her," jack mumbled with a smile.

luke and quinn looked his way. it was the first time one of them had ever said something about samy and will to one another since their entire relationship started.

"they're cute. makes me miss being a teenager in love," quinn muttered. "plus, i've never seen her so happy before nor have i seen will so happy either," the oldest hughes added.

their eyes flicked back towards the couple where will was now trying to dry himself off.

"it's a good look for them, isn't it?" luke said after a moment.

"she's happy. like really happy," jack nodded.

"i think he really cares about her. he's definitely sticking around," luke said.

"i mean wasn't he already? he's like family," jack laughed making quinn laugh too.

"i'm just happy she's found someone. i totally saw it coming by the way, so you all owe me still," luke muttered and the brothers rolled their eyes.

[plutosunshine]

How to improve your self-esteem?

Venus in the houses

Venus is our self-esteem and values. The house Venus sits in can show us hints on how to help ourselves to build healthy strong self-esteem. Let’s go!

Venus in the 1st house

Of course, the main key here is your appearance. I don’t mean that you must be always gorgeous and pretty. However, it is very important for you to feel that you fit at least your standards. Hair and make-up play a big role. You feel more confident when you like your look. NB!! Not others, but you! Also, your self-esteem grows when you socialize and show your identity in group settings. Don’t hide all the gorgeous talents you have! You MUST show them to the world. Be assertive when it is necessary because achieving goals and being the best is the number one key to your self-confidence. One more thing: aesthetics. Since Venus is in the first house, which makes this planet rising, that means that the qualities of Venus are important to express as well. Aesthetics, art, beautiful things, music, poetry, acting, and everything where you can show your talents. Also, although the first house is ME and my identity, Venus requires peace and balance. It is not easy, but you have to find a balance between showing yourself and being on the same wavelength as others.

Venus in the 2nd house

Here Venus is in its own house. Meaning that the themes of this house are emphasized. Your self-esteem improves when you feel safe and all is set: you have a nice place to live, you have a good salary, and your surroundings are harmonious. Defining your values helps to gain self-confidence. It is totally okay to express your material desires. They make your self-esteem improve. This is the essence of the 2nd house. Save money to have a backup but don’t be strict with yourself. If you really want something, just get it! The key to your self-esteem is your well-being. When you are fed well, dressed well, and generally feel good, you are confident. Any aesthetic activity that makes you feel calm and satisfied is good. Art and other creative areas also may help you because it develops your sense of beauty and allows you to express your talents.

Venus in the 3rd house

Your self-esteem is growing when you feel that you are an interesting companion. The worst nightmare is when people call you boring. That is why sometimes you are trying too hard to attract attention. However, it is only because of your insecurities. I think the key here is to allow yourself to be outgoing and funny personality which you are. Express your interest in communication and exploration. Your self-esteem improves when you feel knowledgeable. You need to constantly receive and share some interesting information. Also, learning something will increase your self-esteem as well. It can be anything: from cooking to science. You just need new knowledge to feel your self-worth and it is okay because it is the way your Venus feels at home. Don’t be afraid to show your knowledge, and make new friends and connections. Also, writing is very good for you. For example, you can express your feelings on paper. It might help you to build a strong relationship with yourself.

Venus in the 4th house

Your self-esteem improves when you are in touch with your emotions and your subconscious needs are met. It is very important not to suppress emotions and feelings. Also, helping and understanding make you feel needed. Sometimes it is not so good thing to seek this feeling, but for Venus in the 4th house supporting and helping someone is beneficial. Every field and place where you can express your ability to FEEL will be useful. For example, psychology, astrology, volunteering, etc. Also, as you know, the 4th house = home. Meaning that you MUST have your own safe place to restore your energy resources. Decorating and cleaning are helpful for your Venus because on a subconscious level you perceive this home as welcoming and safe.

Venus in the 5th house

One word — self-expression. As simple as that, your self-esteem improves when you express yourself and your talents. If you don’t show your creativity, it will grow inside you and turn into poison. So it is so important to express that! Even if you think that the idea is stupid, please just try! Because it is not only about the result but also about the process. Also, showing others your warm and generous side will help your Venus a lot. Be yourself and don’t hide even weird and unusual sides of you because it is still you. Love yourself and respect your desires, enjoy life, and be optimistic about the world! Also, your self-esteem improves when you are the best at something. It shouldn’t be something great, it can be just a little thing that is only yours.

Venus in the 6th house

Your self-esteem improves when you build your plans and fulfill them. Yes, the 6th house here is all about working on yourself. You feel fulfilled when you follow your own rules and routines. It makes you feel like everything is in its place. Sometimes others find your little habits weird but it is who you are. Also, healthy nutrition and sport will make you feel more confident. Being healthy and put together improves your self-esteem. In addition, helping others helps you as well! The 6th house is all about service and when you help someone you feel fulfillment. It is just your essence so don’t hide it!

Venus in the 7th house

Venus here is in its own house but this placement is kind of tricky. Sometimes your self-esteem depends on your partner and you can’t find solid ground for your own personality. It can be so frustrating that you may feel even empty without a partner. However, this situation is not healthy because Venus and the 7th house are all about balance. Yes, Venus in the 7th house screams PARTNERSHIP, but you need to find balance. Give and take equally, respect each other and find harmony in this relationship. This is the main lesson for Venus in the 7th house. Your self-esteem improves when you and your partner find balance and peace in your relationship.

Venus in the 8th house

The 8th house is all about transformations so sometimes having Venus in the 8th house feels unbearable. Your self-esteem transforms constantly. Sometimes you almost don’t feel it but sometimes it breaks your heart. However, it is the essence of this placement. You need to transform yourself and the perception of your values. Life will give you a lot of critical situations that will test your values and self-confidence. Yes, this is not an easy placement to have, but this tough experience makes your self-esteem unbreakable and solid and you become wise and unstoppable.

Venus in the 9th house

Your self-esteem improves when you get new experience and share it with others. It is so important for you to explore the world and build your own philosophy in life. You need to dig deep into the definition of the word «freedom». Your self-esteem improves when you feel no pressure and when you can do whatever you want with your life. Advice-giving is so good for your Venus. You have a lot to share with others so do that! Also, any kind of exploration of other cultures is good, whether it be a new language or travel. Your self-esteem improves when you can help others using your own experience. That is why you would be a great couch!

Venus in the 10th house

Your self-esteem improves when you are the best of the best in your field. You need respect and admiration from others. However, it is important to mention the difference between dependence on someone's opinion and deserved admiration for hard work. The second case is about Venus in the 10th house. Your self-esteem improves when you work hard on your goal and it doesn’t matter how big it is. You just need to build a plan and follow it until your goal is reached. Your self-esteem NEEDS to have a goal. It can be something small but also don’t shy away from big ones!

Venus in the 11th house

Your self-esteem grows when you are not afraid to express your authentic self and show your weird sides to the world. It is extremely important not to think about the opinion of others when it comes to your self-expression and creativity. Sometimes your ideas may seem strange but it is where the real innovation lies! Your self-esteem improves when you feel that your life is fully yours and you can do whatever you want. Also, like-minded people give you confidence because you know that you are not the only one. In addition, participation in some social activities helps your Venus to feel better. For example, charity or fighting for someone's rights.

Venus in the 12th house

Your self-esteem improves when you can express your deep emotions through creativity. Whether it be music or theatre, you need to find a way to free your endless feelings. It can be something small! Also, your self-esteem improves when you help those who are in need. However, be careful! Your sweet soul sometimes doesn’t understand when people take advantage of you. Everything must be in balance. Also, you need to find a field where you can use your empathic gifts to help others. For example, psychology, astrology, therapy, etc.

[witchthewriter]

𝑨𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒚 𝑳𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔!

So, I’ve decided to create indepth posts about astrology; the signs/placements, planets, and houses. I have a short overview here. Everyone has a whole birth chart, here's a free site that I use and trust (don't go on co-astrology it's full of stereotypes and misinformation.)

Find the first lesson here. 

Second Lesson: 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 🌙

Your Moon sign represents the deepest, most inner side of ourselves. It’s our inner world and it is very uncommon to see that side of someone. That’s why as a child you may show those traits more than when you’re an adult - as you age, you can hide that side of yourself. 

Our Moon aspect is how we show comfort, how we display emotions and who we are when we are alone. It's our instincts, how we react to situations, our sense of security. The Moon is linked to the mother and child, it represents our inner mother and our inner child.

  So, unlike the signs in their Sun placement - they are a bit different in your Moon sign. 

Moon in Fire signs: Attention, adventures, a partner or friends who care as much as you do

Moon in Earth signs: Work, routine, stability

Moon in Air signs: Intellectual stimulation, new things, social interaction

Moon in Water signs: Alone time, caretaking

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑅𝑎𝑚

With an Aries Moon, this means that the planet, Mars, rules your inner self. It means you’re direct, quick to action, impulsive, and bold. You may tend to be impatient. Nothing is done quick enough. They make for fiercely protective parents and impassioned activists. 

Gets bored easily 

Emotional issues take precedence

Take things very personally, and they deal with problems by facing them right away

Moon in Aries folk experience difficult childhoods

Never have to ask them how they feel - they’ll let you know clearly and sometimes ... eractically. 

The difference between an Aries Sun and an Aries Moon is that Moon in Aries will rebel just for the sake of it. They’re a lot more active and have a desire to have new experiences. An Aries Sun is much more restrained in their expressions and emotions. 

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝐵𝑢𝑙𝑙

With a Taurus Moon, they feel with their senses and are pretty much rooted in their ways. Those with this moon placement typically have a stereotypical homemaker kind of mother figure. It should be noted that Taurus Moon’s are usually not the gambling type, they prefer to protect themselves and their finances by being overly cautious. 

Generally very romantic

Once they have made a commitment, they’re persevering

They make great teachers

Often the mediators of a group

The difference between a Taurus Sun and a Taurus Moon is that there’s a soft, graceful, and refined quality to the Taurus Moon that isn't seen in the Taurus Sun, who embodies the archetype of the Bull much more readily. 

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑇𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑠

With a Gemini Moon, a person is witty, open-minded and highly imaginative. Generally, they have a million and one projects going. With a finger in every pie, they have a desire to keep on creating; since they have so many ideas. The mother in the lives of those with a Gemini moon is usually childlike or stunted in some way that makes her more of an older sister than a traditional mother.

Nervousness and worry are common traits 

In their families, Lunar Geminis often take on the role of organizing get-togethers

They are at their best when they have plenty of things to do beyond routine

This placement almost always have a way with words

The difference between a Gemini Sun and a Gemini Moon is that the Sun is more sociable, and has a want to be around others. While the latter (just as intellectual) cares about what is underneath. 

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑏

With a Cancer Moon, they seek out security and familiarity in all they do. This aspect remembers a lot; like walking libraries. Not ones for small talk, or in other words, ‘surface-level interactions’, this placement prefer deeper connections and therefore the company of only their inner circle. 

Moon in Cancer suggests a mother or maternal figure that experienced extreme and ever-changing emotions. The moon in Cancer child learned early to adapt to these shifting emotional energies and developed the desire to make it better through their own efforts. 

The Moon is “at home” in the sign of Cancer, as the Moon is the natural ruler of the sign.

Nostalgic; they over idealize the past

They feel valuable when they are able to assist

The difference between a Cancer Sun and a Cancer Moon is that the Cancer energy is shown more readily in Cancer Moons’. This is due to the planet being in the sign that it rules. A person will have exaggerated traits of nurturing, caring, intuitive etc. 

𝐋𝐞𝐨 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝐿𝑖𝑜𝑛

With a Leo Moon, they have a natural charisma without the need of being loud. They feel most at home in the company of greatness and finery. The mother figure for those with natal moon in Leo is a kind of grande dame who either failed to give her striving children the attention they needed or was overbearing and a bit of a “Dance Mom,” pushing them towards success in the hopes the shine of it would lend them some spotlight.

Although they are romantic, giving and kind, there’s a bit of an “all press is good press” mentality to those with this moon

Sometimes they just need some encouragement

Very proud, and they are rarely happy to follow orders

The difference between a Leo Sun and a Leo Moon is that the Sun placement is much more outgoing, flamboyant and in need of the spotlight. Another way of looking at it is that the male lion is the Leo Sun and the female lion is the Leo Moon. 

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛

With a Virgo Moon, they feel most content when they’ve straightened out all the details of everyday life. Their key trait is being a worrier, normally striving for order, cleanliness, service to others and efficiency. The maternal figure was likely traditional with a scoured kitchen floor and the pervasive energy of wanting more from her children than they were able to deliver.

Virgo curiosity shows up big time with this position of the Moon

Plagued by perfection

Feelings get in the way of work, so they would prefer to repress them

The difference between a Virgo Sun and a Virgo Moon is that the Virgo Sun wants to be the stereotypical Virgo but fails to meet them. While a Virgo Moon cannot do anything but those stereotypes (or traits, if you prefer that term). Hence, the sun sign strives to exhibit its qualities, it often falls short. The moon, on the other hand, can't help but exhibit the full force of its sign.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑆𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑠

With a Libra Moon, you’re very alluring and attractive. You’re quite flirtacious, and feel the most safe when you’re wanted. Although, you can be highly flexible, you’re also very indecisive. There’s this belief that Libra Moons have that what is good must be beautiful and what is beautiful must be good

They feel safe and secure when they are in a partnership

Big people-pleasers 

Strive for validation

Gracious? Yes. Direct? Never.

The difference between a Libra Sun and a Libra Moon is that Libra Suns have the desire for big social groups, while Libra Moons are more interested in focusing on one romantic relationship. Another big difference is that Libra Moons have an innate need for fairness and charm more so than the Suns, but they rarely display it. 

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑆𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑝𝑖𝑜𝑛

With a Scorpio Moon, you are love someone who will challenge you so that you may understand yourself better. In other words, you like when those that are trustworthy come to you with honesty. Hence, Scorpio Moons seek out emotional intensity. 

The maternal figure for those with this placement was likely an unwilling mother who suffered her own heavy losses and serious sorrows. Though she may have cared for her child, the child sensed and internalized being somehow unwanted.

Have a strong fear of betrayal

They are unlikely to forget a kindness or forgive an insult

Scorpio Moons want all or nothing

The difference between a Scorpio Sun and a Scorpio Moon is that while the former wants to come across as powerful, the latter needs to know they are.  As well as this, Scorpio Moons are more guarded in their self-expression than the Scorpio Sun. So, people aren’t usually aware that Scorpio Moons desire such power. 

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝐴𝑟𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑟

With a Sagittarius Moon, you have an inner restlessness and a grand desire for independence. This aspect wants to discover the boundaries between the known and the undiscovered. 

The mother for this moon was likely a lifelong learner who sought enlightenment in spite of — and because of — trying life conditions. So important was self-discovery to this momma that she may have been somewhat absent mentally or physically.

They have a need for personal freedom and space

Natural storytellers

There’s a bit of a teacher in this placement, and definitely a helpful spirit

No matter the incident, trauma or horrific event, Sag Moons seek the silver lining

The difference between a Sagittarius Sun and a Sagittarius Moon is that Sag Sun’s are into philosophizing about the meanings of life, while Sag Moons want to go out and experience the meaning of life. They want to find out for themselves, rather than read and talk about it. 

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑆𝑒𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑎𝑡

With a Capricorn Moon, this aspect is often seen as unfeeling, however, they have big emotions just like every other sign. But they hate letting people see that side of themselves. Not much for taking risks in life, Lunar Capricorns look for safety and security in most everything they do. They desire to build something of enduring value.

The mother in the lives of those with natal moon in Capricorn was a bit of a perfectionist with little patience for the learning through failure modality of children. As a result, people with this placement develop adult sensibilities and self-discipline very early on.

Being useful and productive are basic needs for Cap Moons

They have a hard time asking for help or human tenderness as they were raised not to expect it

Need to feel worthwhile in the real world

The difference between a Capricorn Sun and a Capricorn Moon is that even though they both strive for prominence, Cap Suns aren’t shy about showing it. They’re open and forthcoming. Comparatively, Cap Moons are more guarded and cautious in their expressions. 

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑊𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟-𝐵𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑟

With an Aquarius Moon, they tend to make brilliant friends, allies and activists. They make a point of never leaving anyone out, and will fight for the rights of others. They crusade for equality. This aspect is the domain of oddballs and anarchists.

The mother figure related to this lunar placement was a combination of erratic flakiness and progressive thinking. She likely fared better with teenagers she could talk to rather then-toddlers she was responsible for.

They are lifetime students of human nature

Unpredictable yet charming 

They are intellectuals who want to dismantle harmful or limiting social structures

The difference between an Aquarius Sun and an Aquarius Moon is most obvious when they’re confronted with an emotional person; Aquarius Moons tend to shun the emotion and avoids it at all costs. Aqua Moons will provide a wise solution, while Aqua Suns are still awkward with emotional people - they are more likely to relate emotionally. Show empathy and/or sympathy. 

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 | 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝐹𝑖𝑠𝘩

With a Pisces Moon, they are often seen as ‘dreamy’ or ... ‘spaced out,’ however, they are much mre intune with the world around them then people realise. People often perceive this aspect to be weak, though they don’t undertand that it is acceptance, rather than weakness. 

The mother for those with this moon was one of two extreme archetypes: either a martyr/saint who did all for all, or a wounded bird that required a certain degree of caretaking from her own children.

They desire to nurture and to be nurtured 

Pisces Moons put themselves in the role of rescuer

They can easily feel the emotions and trauma of others

The difference between a Pisces Sun and a Pisces Moon is that the latter doesn’t wear their stereotypes like Pisces Suns do. Pisces Moons are less obvious, yet it’s deeper and more powerful. 

[lazyyogi]

Escape the Reactivity Trap

How to Overthrow Your Conditioning with Playfulness

The movement of daily life within human society unfolds as call-and-response playing out in various circumstances. Something happens and we react.

Most people believe that freedom and happiness means exerting specific control over our circumstances. In other words, getting what we want. Ultimately, however, all circumstances are temporary and limited. The happiness and freedom they offer, therefore, are just as temporary and limited.

We don't have full control over the events and circumstances of our lives. We have the right to put in any kind of effort to influence them but there is no right or guarantee to specific results.

If you genuinely want to experience happiness and freedom, then paying attention to the play of call-and-response is essential. Being at ease, lively, and clever in all situations from the moment you wake up to when you go to sleep becomes a path to authentic happiness and freedom. Our way of living and engaging with the world is an expression of the endless and, perhaps, divine reality within and beyond us.

Sound good? Let's talk about it pragmatically.

The key to making this shift lies in understanding the difference between a reaction and a response.

A reaction occurs when a person's conditioning triggers an action or viewpoint. Our conditioning is influenced by various factors such as preferences, judgments, imprints, identities, and past experiences. Often, we are only partially aware of these elements and focus more on the end result—the reaction itself.

Essentially, a reaction is the re-activation of past thoughts, perspectives, decisions, and beliefs, albeit adapted slightly to suit the present moment. It represents our conditioned self, limiting our freedom and making our choices predictable and trite.

On the other hand, a response is the flowering of freedom.

There are two ways to describe a response. The first description is perhaps the most relatable; I will call it the mindful response.

The mindful response is when a reaction unfolds within our awareness. The mindful part is that we are able to breathe and find the space to hear the wisdom of a reaction without believing or buying into it. This not only provides self-insight but it also allows the reaction's emotional charge to mature or release, depending on the circumstances. Then our matured and liberated emotion admixes with self-insight, synthesizing a response that is not limited by our past programming.

The mindful response is what it looks like to practice mindfulness in our daily life. Something happens and instead of acting out a reaction in the same old way, you allow the reaction to flow through you. Without the reaction's flustering influence, fresh insights blossom.

The second description is the playful response. Here, we encounter situations that would typically trigger a reaction, but instead, we remain unaffected. As we progress in spiritual practice, meditation, and self-work, we outgrow our triggers and conditioned responses. We discover the freedom to be as we are, crisply alive here and now, and our responses then arise from a non-conceptual intelligence that radiates from and through every cell in our body.

In this way, we can enjoy the play of our human experiences.

Breaking it down further, there are several key differences between a reaction and a response.

Identification: A reaction is tied to our deep conditioning, making us instinctively identify with it. As a result, we become defensive and threatened when our reactions are questioned. In contrast, a response is not viewed as a part of ourselves but rather as a creative output arising from the moment. This allows us to remain open to alternative views and change our understanding.

Timing: Reactions are instantaneous and reflexive, guiding us in situations that require quick action. On the other hand, a response grows from the internal alchemy of a momentary pause, enabling us to craft a thoughtful and bespoke reply.

Sophistication: Reactions are primitive and tend to be among the dumbest of possible replies to this moment. They sacrifice nuance in exchange for less processing and therefore increased speed. A response, however, combines self-awareness with non-judgmental insight, resulting in a more refined and wise approach.

How someone reacts does not define who they truly are as a living being. It merely reflects the conditioning they carry. Understanding this, we realize that a reaction is not more authentic than a response; quite the opposite.

Coming from an older and more primitive version of the world, dominated by fight-or-flight decision-making for survival, reactions continue to propagate in our modern era. From polarizing news media to viral videos, the lowest common denominator continues to dull the flavor of reality.

Given this knowledge, how would you choose to live?

LY

[viviennevermillion]

Sharing a tent with him ♡

author's notes: set during vargas camp. unfortunately i never found a full translation of the second one so if anything here contradicts canon, just roll with it. spontaneously writing this at 10pm after vowing i'm gonna go to bed early today so i can go to work earlier. oops. also picsart gold is making me go off with the headers so I'm making these for literally every character because i have no life. contains: malleus draconia x gn!fae!reader, cuddling warnings: none

Malleus, as always, is happy to go on a trip outside of Night Raven College; especially if he gets to share the experience with you and in this case Lilia as well. To be honest, you weren't exactly excited about spending your days in the woods near the creepy dwarf mine, engaging in sports and camping activities; but the presence of a certain fae prince made you look forward to it at least a little.

That feeling only multiplied when Vargas announced the students would be sharing tents in groups of 2-3 people and Kalim and Cater excitedly asked Lilia to have a Pop Music Club sleepover. "I'm sorry you two, but I think I'll have to decline. I'm sure Malleus-" "I'll share a tent with Malleus", you blurted out and the dragon fairy raised an eyebrow at you but immediately shot you an amused grin. "You seem quite eager", Malleus put his hands on his hips and smiled at you, "very well. I'll allow it. Just be sure you won't be frightened halfway through." You could tell he was joking and Lilia chuckled at Malleus's obvious excitement about the matter.

Malleus absolutely adored the fact that you wanted to be close to him and spend time with him; that you even felt comfortable enough to fall asleep around him. He sucked up every piece of evidence for that like a sponge, already craving the next instance of you expressing how much you valued him as a companion.

You let out a long sigh after Malleus broke the tent pole for the third time by hitting it too hard with the hammer. "Here let me be so courteous as to help you", you teased and put the pole into the ground, firmly hitting it with the hammer a few times until you felt that it was firmly stuck in the ground. "So, what do we do now?", Malleus seemed at a loss, trying to inspect the instructions on the information sheet Vargas had given you, "why do they explain these things in pictures? Why not put words too? I have no idea what this means." You could see him pouting and took the sheet from him with a laugh. "Be glad you'll never have to put furniture together yourself because that's just like this but worse", you sighed and inspected the pieces for the tent, "okay so....uh....I think this big thingy goes onto the pole and then we....uh-" You tried building the tent and helplessly watched the pole tip over and your "tent" sink to the ground. "You know, on second thought, maybe we should just sit down and wait until Vargas does it himself", you gestured awkwardly and sat down on a tree trunk.

"Oh but we are supposed to do it ourselves. After all we won't be able to understand the feelings of humans once they experience the joys of camping after all the hard work it takes to prepare it", Malleus smiled. "You're too eager for your own good", you took a deep breath. "You were the one who wanted to share a tent with me so badly", he grinned and it was clear he was relishing in the fact that you hadn't hesitated even a second to suggest pairing up with him for this trip. "You're making me sound desperate", you shook your head in disappointment and Malleus chuckled, reaching out his hand to you.

"I'm sure this is going to turn out to be quite pleasant if we commit to it. Once we're finished with our work we can be proud of the result. It might not be perfect but it'll be ours and we can share it for the next few days like a temporary home for just the two of us-" His words made your heart flutter and you took his hand and got up. "How could I say no when you put it like that?", you sighed and continued trying to build the tent.

You enjoyed a nice evening with Malleus and the other students; grilling marshmallows over the campfire and listening to the others talking about experiences they had with camping so far. There were fireflies surrounding you, nothing too unusual for being around Malleus, and the atmosphere was a peaceful one that made both of you feel happy and content.

The two of you were the last ones at the campfire, watching the embers as well as the stars above. You rested your head on Malleus's shoulder as a shooting star passed the night sky. Malleus leaned his head against yours and closed his eyes, a peaceful smile on his face as well. Malleus put out the fire and the two of you went to bed, turned to each other in your sleeping bags.

You watched curiously as Malleus pulled out something from his backpack. It was an enchanted lamp, shaped like a rose. Small, soft lights were dancing across the petals, bouncing off the ceiling of the tent. "These are quite popular in Briar Valley. I thought you might like it, so I brought it along", he smiled and put it somewhere where both of you could look at it. The conversation about the lamp evolved into a quiet talk about Briar Valley; Malleus telling you all sorts of stories about his homeland and mentioning a variety of places he was going to show you if you wanted to visit. He spoke with fondness until both of your words had turned to mere whispers.

If you don't pull the good old "I'm so cold" trick to try and be closer to him, he definitely will.

Malleus was amused at how almost dramatic you were about it. "It's so icy in this tent... I'm going to freeze to death....whatever shall I do?", you sighed with a sorrowful expression on your face and Malleus looked at you seriously. "I could make a fire to warm-" "GOD NO", you gestured wildly as you felt Malleus's fire magic manifesting within the tent. He put the flame out just as fast as it had appeared. He seemed to ponder the predicament further, then smirking at you. "Of course...you could always come closer if you dare", he teased, "I won't mind." "You don't have to tell me that", you smirked back.

That was how you ended up snuggled against Malleus in his sleeping bag, your own sleeping bag long discarded to the side. You had your head rested on his chest and your arms wrapped tightly around him. "This is a strange feeling....but not unpleasant. I like it", Malleus mused and absentmindedly started drawing circles on your shoulders, "although something tells me you had intended for this all along." He smiled as you confirmed his suspicion, a little flustered from the fact that he had seen through you. "There's no need to shy away from me", he clarified, "you need only ask. I don't mind being close to you." He breathed out and closed his eyes, leaning his cheek against your forehead.

The two of you remained silent for a while, until you weren't even sure if he was still awake. "Malleus?", you whispered; a quiet "hmm?" signaling that he wasn't asleep. You hesitated for a moment, your fingertips running up and down his arm. "I just wanted to say...", you took a deep breath, "I've really grown to treasure your presence in my life... You've become very important to me and being around you....well....makes me happy. I'm glad to have met you. I hope you know that." You could hear Malleus's heart beating faster against your ear and you felt him trying to pull you even closer.

"That means quite a lot to me", he whispered back, his lips grazing your forehead as he spoke, making you wish he'd just press a kiss to your skin already, "I feel the same about you. Thank you for being part of my life." You squeezed him gently in your embrace, making him smile.

You remained silent for a few moments, thinking about what you should say next. "You know.... I've spent all my life going from place to place; meeting all kinds of people and experiencing the brief but meaningful moments that life among humans had to offer, but I never really stuck around anywhere. There was nothing that I felt could capture my interest forever; just a century even. The people I met were just as fleeting as my time spent with them. I never had any reason to settle down", you whispered and took his hand into yours, running your thumb across his soft skin, "but now that I've met Lilia, Silver, Sebek and especially you, for the first time I'm certain I want to stay. Do you think there might be place for me in Briar Valley?"

Malleus was awestruck, his eyes widening with every word you spoke. Surprise made him incapable of even replying for a minute. His heart fluttered and there was a feeling of warmth and love in his chest that he didn't even know he craved this much but that henever wanted to miss out on again. You really wanted to stay...with him...as if it was the most self-evident thing possible.

Malleus's expression turned into a soft smile eventually and he squeezed your hand back. "I'm sure that could be arranged", he whispered with an adoration in his voice that was hard not to pick up on, "got anything in mind already?" You closed your eyes, focusing on his chest rising and falling and the soft sound of his breathing. You knew what you wanted. But you didn't dare say it yet. "We'll see." Malleus nodded. Perhaps you could be a guard. Or an attendant. Or an advisor. Or perhaps...the idea he undoubtedly liked the most: You could stand at his side, watching over the country alongside him; forever united in the love you felt for one another.

"Yes. We'll see", he confirmed and wrapped his arms tighter around you; the dreams you two shared remaining unspoken for now. But Malleus knew just as well as you did where he wanted to take the bond you had. Just say the word and I'm yours, he thought, falling asleep with you in his arms and a peaceful smile on his face.