#it's still the working class background mentality tho

[vimbry]

stumbles out of the paypal window covered in blood

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck, family & alcoholism

Collection of thoughts and speculation on Chil’s upbringing, his dynamic with his family and how alcoholism ties into it all. If you want the groundwork info on Chil’s background I recommend my masterpost on his family, here beyond a summary of the facts it’s really just me speculating from the crumbs we get of his parents and siblings, how it’s all affected him and in turn affected his own wife and kids etc etc.

There’s nothing more I’d like on mother’s day than to speculate about Chilchuck’s maladaptive attachment style. I’m fascinated by how distant everyone is and how much he’s been devoted to them all despite having been so absent. Intergenerational trauma get over here

Actually it’ll be easier if I make a rundown here too, it’s just stuff I reiterate from my masterpost tho.

Tiny table of contents: 1- rundown: family facts 2- rundown: alcoholism 3- dad 4- parenting 5- daughters 6- wife

^ Every time his dad gets mentioned. His mom never gets mentioned. His siblings I think are only ever mentioned in this extra, and then there are more ambiguous relatives cameos.

We know is hometown isn’t Kahka Brud, but we’re not sure wether he moved there upon getting his own house (presumably around when he got married at 13), or if it’s only after his wife when he rented out his place to relatives then rented the place in Kahka Brud.

If he rented it out to relatives, maybe that meant it was in his hometown? Especially if he and his siblings are "almost strangers" so presumably he doesn’t really keep in touch with his family. And I mean, he hasn’t seen his wife or daughter in 4 years so you can imagine how he’s like with his more distant family…

Additionally half-foots and Chil are very coded to be from an impoverished opressed working class people. So that’s the context.

I’ll say that I mentioned intergenerational trauma at the beginning, and I def think the distrust of elves is part of that, but here I want to focus on the interpersonal effects rather.

Copy pasting my masterpost thoughts overall: Chilchuck is hinted to have had a rather dysfunctional family himself (alcoholic father, distant siblings, etc). So he doesn’t really have the best model on how to raise someone and such. I imagine it was a sort of neglectful home situation, where the kids are encouraged to be independent. If they didn’t have to work or help around much, then a free range parenting sort of thing.

We do see how the family has full and warm feasts, where someone cleans his mouth with a rag, so it’s not like he didn’t have caring people or had a tragic childhood though! I don’t remember if it’s explicitely stated but he’s heavily implied to having grown up poor, as most half-foots, and I just think it’s the hardened hardworking family type of childhood where just like he does with others, they instilled somewhat harsh life lessons in him, which in turn encourages him to indulge in the simple pleasures of life like alcohol and sex, or at least women’s beauty and crass jokes. We do see he seems more optimistic when he’s younger in flashbacks, so a bunch of his harsh view on the world is still likely learned and earned rather than taught.

I still think he inherited many flawed views from how his father acted, like his attitude about excessive drinking not being a big deal, it being worth it. That work hard play hard, enjoy life die young mentality he has, shown mostly in the “alcohol” section of his Adventurer’s Bible profile, could very well be partly a result of the general poverty half-foot communities are that he grew in as well, like how he doesn’t hope for things to be as best as they could be and contends with good enough.  As far as I remember, his mother is never mentioned, but I doubt it implies she was out of the picture. She was probably a regular sort of mother that took care of the home and was still around when his father died, not unlike how Chil’s wife was implied to be a housewife. It looks like there’s a good age gap between one sibling to the next, that could be interesting to speculate about too. Mostly though I think it’s big family because it’s just sorta what happens when you regularly have sex and you don’t have contraception, being poor often makes family planning harder for various reasons and leads to more children.

Alcoholism context rundown:

Good Chilchuck analysis baseline here. Alcohol seems to be his main stress reliever/coping mechanism, especially for how emotionally constipated he is, and his job is being stressed about his party’s safety. Then he also mentions as a changeling that having his senses dulled feels relaxing to him, further confirming alcohol, as a drug that dulls senses, is something that he likes for the intoxication aspect and feels it’s relaxing. Alcohol also acts as a hunger suppressant, so it for sure has played a role in his dieting and unhealthy eating/diet habits, especially since he shows the instinct to drink to soothe hunger, all of that about how going hungry for 3 days used to feel manageable. Chil dieting info compiled here.

Chilchuck is at his most effortlessly cheerful when drunk or drinking. Compilation of every time he was drunk here.

And to be clear, a cheerful drunk is still a drunk. He literally will drink anytime he gets the opportunity to even if he’s aware overdrinking leads to health problems and death. Like canonically. He does NOT see how drinking should be a problem and does not seek to show restraint with it.

Dad of the dad

Marcille and Chilchuck having a talk on how losing a dad be like "You lost your dad young too…? I know how it is, it must have hit you hard…" "No not really tbh. Do you want lasagna or chicken for dinner?" <- either genuinely doesn’t feel much about his dad’s death or has 10 layers of repression, idk which is worse

I think Chil not making a big deal out of his dad’s death, not having worries in following into his footsteps that way in the least, is super interesting.

As a buddy @saccharineomens puts it: " I kinda imagine chilchuck and his dad didn't have a bad relationship, but in general chilchuck is so blase about drinking (he sees it as a delightful time, a wonderful thing! he wouldn't mind dying doing something he loved!) that he's not very upset about his dad's passing? like "yeah, he died, but i was already an adult, he was an adult, he made his choices, i make my choices, it's cool" " And I’ll nitpick that we don’t know how old he was when his dad died, I always assumed it was pretty early since Chil left home when he got married, and like I’ve gone into he doesn’t seem to be the keep in touch type. It’s on the table though, and he could have learned about it through letter if nothing else and that contributes to the "meh" reaction.

And that is very Chilchuck, the whole "we made our choices, it is how it is, he died doing something he loved", and you can totally believe that that’s the crux of it, but I do think the nonchalance hints at the family overall being distant and not only the siblings, that there’s dysfunctional shenanigans going on in there more than just… Healthy coping and having moved on.

I wonder when Chil first drank… And I wonder how he came to realize he liked alcohol a lot. His father probably gave him sips… Or he stole them

No because, with how disaffected he is about his father and siblings I could definitely see him having started to kind of numb himself/dissociate with the help of alcohol in that home environment that felt so… Either devoid of feelings or too messy to get attached. I can totally see his family being one that encourages dealing with feelings by bottling them up.

Because too… We saw him have a family/community feast of some sort presumably when he was a kid, in that chapter cover, so it’s not like there’s no warmth or sense of family at all, but then like… What went wrong? If as I theorize that girl with short black hair in that panel is his future wife, since she’s his childhood friend and all, what if his family/home life was always kind of cold and distant, even when gathered and cheery or despite those occasions? So then it’s like, at the family gatherings, she’s the most important person there to him, the one he actually connects to the most, the warmest presence he has…….. Someone he jokes around with that feels on the same speed as him, that doesn’t have the same connotations as everyone else present, a bit of a haven, someone different, a breath of fresh hair and a regained sense of childhood… Spitballing of course of course

I feel like they had a pretty big family and they were poor and such so there were always chores to be done etc, so their household might have operated like a mini busiess of sorts where everyone’s too busy, always has this and that to do and the mother asks them to go do tasks. I used to think it might be more of a neglect situation, where the kids are expected to provide for themselves and so cook their own meals and whatnot, both parents distant, but I don’t think so with the feast illustration. Chil at the beginning of canon used to see eating as a practical thing more than anything, you have to eat to live but don’t eat much or your weight will make your job more dangerous, might as well skip meals and have beer instead, etc etc. So the thought that he doesn’t know how to cook all that well despite this speculated background where he cooked for himself and keeps cooking minimalistic, since he does tell Senshi he taught him about cooking, is fair, but still… There could definitely be a situation where his older siblings were pushed into a parental role too, where they helped with the food and raising the younger siblings etc etc. As mentioned, the age gap between siblings may play into the dynamic as well. But on this front I have less ideas…

So yes my general take on Chil’s family is that everyone was too busy to emotionally connect as much as is normal, the parenting leaving things to be desired with alcoholism and emotional neglect.

Fathering

And I think that’s especially interesting considering he hasn’t been keeping in touch with his daughters either. It’s "they’re independent now" and that’s kinda it. His daughters haven’t sent him letters or visited him or tried to make him talk to their mom again. It does feel like with his own parents and siblings to me, where people are almost strangers, where relationships grow apart and everyone shrugs and goes ‘that’s how things are’. Is it that everyone including all his daughters gave up on trying to keep in touch, or is it that they all went "well divorced or not he’s absent, this is our normal tbh", and which is worse?

So yes, I think his relationship with his daughters is probably similar to his relationship with his parents, sort of hands off. Chil's dad was probably not a good dad but probably not quite a bad dad. A definitive He Was There, to quote another friend heh

Imo the thing with Chil is that he was pretty absent bc of work travels to dungeon dive, right. He’s working hard to provide for his family but in the process he’s not spending much time with them, slowly making a gap grow between him and them as they drift apart and change as people. He’s a career dad who never realized spending time with his family was more important and threw his pager into the ocean— But also here’s the thing!! You want to say being his family is more important, but money is arguably more important! They’re poor, they don’t have the privilege of free time as much. Sure he’s not there, but he is providing for them what they need to keep living and growing healthily. Similarly, you want to say Chil should stop doing harsh dieting for weight management, but, he has a point, maybe starving is still preferable than dying in traps. Of course the ideal would be to change jobs, but again, life is a struggle and that’s not always an option.

^ Truly the classic "if you don’t listen to me, your parent, a cryptid is gonna kidnap you!" international experience………

He is so so so the "What? My way of parenting is kinda bad? But my father raised me like that, and look how great I turned out!" <- emotionally dysfunctional…….. "Pshhh what do you mean having an alcoholic parent negatively affects you? My father was an alcoholic too and look at me"  🤡

All of it was behavior normalized to him. And listen, I’m saying this but not as like, shirking of his part in it. This isn’t a teen or young adult, he’s middle aged, he’s become the one giving and not receiving the generational trauma. He’s chosen to never think deeper on the topic.

And like, he himself is so indifferent to his father and what their relationship was like, of course he wouldn’t notice if a parenting choice wasn’t great for his daughters. He doesn’t have a relationship with his dad, he’s not (at least not consciously) traumatized by him, so from his perspective it’s mission success! He got raised decent enough 👍⭐️ Except he doesn’t realize that like, not particularly caring if he died is sign of a problem between them in itself… And this even as he remains somewhat of an important figure in his life, especially since that’s who he sees on the other side of the life river in the ghost chapter. It’s implicitly the biggest instance of loss through death Chilchuck has in his life I think.

But despite it all he obviously does love his family a lot, right. So I do believe that like, while he has imperfect standards when it comes to parenting he still tries to be better than his dad was, that even if it’s necessary that he has a lot of long work travels, he spends time with them. And there’s sort of this dissonance that he’s both "it doesn’t matter wether i’m here or not, they’ll live, they’re tough girls. Oh they didn’t like my scolding earlier? It’s just how kids are" dismissive and "I love them so much and I want them to have a good life. I want to do my best by them" devoted and so so caring. And like that’s why he works so damn hard, he does it for them, but also that’s why the girls grew up with an absentee father and aughhhh AUGHHHH the unsolvable dilemma of it all Chilchuck in Dunmeshi truly represents like, the harshness of reality & the world and how sometimes things will just suck no matter what, and then of course balancing that with Marcille in their shared arc where she tacks on "And despite that there is beauty everywhere even in the small and menial things, despite that your flawed relationships and dreams are still worth fighting for" ie giving reconciling with his wife a shot, etc.

All that said I think the very strict "you’re gonna grow up to have a stable job by god, young miss" attitude, those strong work ethics he highly values and focuses on and no doubt tried to instill in is own kids, is something he somewhat inherited from his own upbringing and parents.

In my masterpost bit on his parenting, I said I don’t think he’d do any kind of corporeal punishment, but. I do wonder about spanking aftee all. It can be so so easy to rationalize it… Sigh

Daughter pov

Again, my general interpretations for the daughters are written in my masterpost. I think Patti knows her father the least and is the one least worried about jobs and stability and least settled down as a result. Flertom is the more social one who I imagine tended to be the one worried about her parents’ couple and their emotions the most. And Meijack… Ohh Meijack.

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it and still you stand next to your mother just as quiet and just as stoic during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight out of mind

Thinking of those posts about how kids never forget and during the "draw your family!" things at school, some of the kids draw their working parents seperate from the rest of them...

Absent father and when he’s at home you get the crumbs of him that you get and you’re grateful for it and that’s that <333

She doesn’t know how much he loves them bc he hasn’t showed them in a long time </3

The horror of drunk Chil in my fics is often about what in this state he can’t do rather than what he could do, how someone who’s as proud of his skills and work ethics as he is has truly changed, not comprehending how he could become so sloppy or how he could allow himself to get like this, marred the values he preaches above all else. It’s in the way that he fumbles with doorknobs, that he could never lockpick a door if you were to lock it, and it both being your salvation and bringing you extreme distress at the thought of it all. His footsteps usually featherlight now sound heavy as stone, like a troll’s.

You know the thing that gets me so bad with alcoholism angst is when people describe the drunk person as a stranger. Often making a metaphor that they’re monsters, have some monster they shapeshift into uncontrollably once in a while, as a way to split the unreconciliable halves of the person sober and drunk in your vision of them……. It gets me soooo bad Little Puckpatti growing up on tales of trolls kidnapping disobedient kids and replacing them with doubles so no one even knows they’re gone… Coming face to face with a drunk Chilchuck that roams the halls of the house with heavy steps in the night, because she wanted to go drink a glass of water, too thirsty to sleep………..

And this is where I reveal that I wrote a fic about just that!! Trolls that thump and tiptoe through the night Mei @ Chil, You made me of stone and still every day you wear me down and chip away at me bit by bit

In the end notes I describe my takes and interpretations: With Mei I tried to give the sense of a kid who sacrifices some parts of childhood to feel closer to her parent, like not playing games to spend more time with him no matter how empty, or wanting to be worthy in his eyes. With Fler, since she was the one in canon to take in their mother and write Chil a letter explaining the situation, I feel like she’s always been the one most involved and aware of the problems in their family. The one most there to emotionally support or to understand what the vibes in a room meant. Puckpatti I think knows her father the least, since with time I think Chilchuck was more and more away from work and more and more cynical like the flashbacks of younger him dungeon diving. I think because of her not minding unstable odd jobs that she’s the most passive, that she’s the most go with the flow. I do also love when Mei is the one most aware of her parents’ flaws and most critical as the eldest, but not in this fic. Meijack grows up to never touch a drop of alcohol, what people joke is the one difference between her and her father. Flertom drinks, too much sometimes, but she considers drinking should be a social activity rather than a habit. Puckpatti only drinks on special occasions when she has the chance.

They already don’t have that much time together because of his work, I wonder how big of a percentage the amount of memories the daughters have of him are when he’s not himself truly… How they kinda reconcile it all. It’s their normal. 

And the thing that’s gutting too, is that Chil always looks so so much more open, relaxed, cheerful and happier when drunk than he usually is. He doesn't know how to get his defenses down without alcohol

"you're all that's good"

Because we do see how he truly used to not be so closed off and bitter. But distrust and fearing for betrayals from both coworkers and then his wife aka the person who’s supposed to be closest to him (he doesn’t even have close family besides his daughters. Does he even have close friends) turned him into what he is now. He was so cheerful!! Happy and trusting and optimistic.

He leaves and she left

God there’s the whole ‘wife leaving him’ trauma too is the thing… It had to have fucked him up so bad like no wonder he got paranoid and decided not to open up to ANYONE like. He never saw it coming is the scariest thing. He didn’t expect her to just up and leave. He didn’t see the warning signs. He won’t know if it’s coming this time either.

….. But then also, why he didn’t reach out to her (besides hurt) was because it was a petty silence treatment, like "oh she left without saying a word? Fine well I won’t reach out to her either" <- man who is so not fine and collected about it. It’s been FOUR YEARSSSSSSS I wonder if he always was like… "This week she’s gonna send a letter. … Ok fine, this month she’s gonna crack. … Within the year she’ll come crawling back." and it’s a bit why it was allowed to go on for this long unchecked like… Why he still considers her his wife even though functionally she’s more of an ex by that point after 4 years.

I can never stop thinking about him and his wife they’re fucking crazyyy. Him not reaching out to her started as a silent treatment from frustration. She never reached out to him either, she just up and left, didn’t even leave or send one last letter she’s just gone and has left this all behind, the house and everything in it. It’s been 4 years but he still considers her his wife and considers themselves only "estranged", "due to circumstances we haven’t seen each other in years". His face in the panel he said this is interesting too, trying to be casual but defensive and exasperated, already dreading the judgement and questions. He moved out of his house to rent a place in Kahka Brud instead. How much of him not reaching out was avoidance… Guilt, frustration, sadness, confusion, just procrastinating and dread and fear of a rejection more concrete, or something else… Maybe realizing he doesn’t miss her as much as he should, not enough to chase after her or try to get her back, just resigning himself to it… Is he a bad husband, is he a bad person? Should they reconcile?

Not seeing it coming… It’s half trust, that this person who’s so dear to you could never just up and leave and hurt you like that, half entitlement, thinking that she would never think of leaving, and third it’s blinding himself to the warning signs, not wanting to believe or acknowledge them. Because like, there WERE some, he said she "suddenly fell into a bad mood on the way back [from the outing]" and I don’t think he’s too dumb to be aware that something was off, he literally just dismissed it and then went surprised pikachu face when it turned out things were indeed off.

Part of it is definitely, how do you even react if your wife walks out on you without warning. If it happened to me I think that I wouldn’t reach out for a while either, wait for them to reach out to me first, give them space. As I put it in one of my marchil wips, "I respect your right to be rid of me too much to try and shackle you to me if you want to leave". Inaction is easier than admitting he’s scared to check and find out that the worst case scenario is true. It’s been years and he still hasn’t worked it out why she left. Do you think that’s on purpose. That he doesnt want to know for sure. It’s so so so scary to try and do anything about it

He said he didn’t reach out right away when she left because he was petty and wanted to give her the silence treatment back. Ok but is it that he blames her for their marriage falling apart or does he blame himself and he’s just misdirecting the conflicted feelings? Did he not reach out because a part of him was too scared to know why she left or if she would refuse to come back? Did he just think that she’d come back on her own, and things would get fixed while still staying unsaid and unconfronted like they always have, the first month, then the next and the next, until it was a year in and it sunk in that oh, maybe she wasn’t coming back?

He seems genuine here when he says that he was angry about it and gave her the silent treatment, but it is an habit of his to lie to make himself look worse instead of showing vulnerability, so who knows.

He is so so scared of being affected by relationships. Same thing with his compulsive habit to disguise his worry for anger. It’s why he doesn’t want people to have expectations of him, "I’m a coward I’m selfish", because then they can’t be disappointed, they can’t be surprised if he bites, they can’t leave when you lose what they’ve been staying for.

He has avoidant tendencies too. Every time there’s an interpersonal issue he just accepts it’s out of his control immediately. He’s passive when it comes to relationship problems, just like with coworkers, relationships are a ticking time bomb to him, and he just wants to be left out of it and come out unscathed. It comes back to his pessimism. He doesn’t think that like, things could be better. According to him life is tough and cruel, you accept your lot in life and make the best out of it and that’s it. If people are scummy you don’t whine about how unfair it is, you close yourself off and work to not be taken advantage of again and adapt. So then with his wife, when Marcille is like "Have you tried… Talking?" it’s such a crazy idea that it might work at all, that he could have the power to fix things… And that’s why it’s such a big deal when he goes "Alright I’ll try… I don’t know if it’ll go as well as in the stories, but I’ll try". That CRUMB of allowing himself to be hopeful is so huge

Honestly for the longest time I misread this bit, I thought she left in the night like how Marcille framed it, but no she left after he left for work. She left after he left again.

The way it’s told, it really sounds like Chilchuck just came home from work, stayed probably a couple of days in which they went to that outing together, then left for work again right away/soon after and it’s like. Was that outing the most special thing you guys did together. You came home from like a month of work, you had one outing where she ended up having a bad time, y’all didn’t talk about it further and then you left for another couple of weeks. Are you kidding me

Your married life is waiting for your husband to come home, spending mediocre time together, being shut down when you voice discontentment, and things being left unaddressed before he leaves again.

She left when he was gone for work, but did she leave the day of, or did she flip flop on it and took a while before working up the strength to leave? Was she waiting to see if he’d say anything before leaving and when he didn’t that was the last straw?

Chilchuck trying to prove a point that half-foots can make it out there, trying to rely more on himself because that’s the only person he can trust. His wife feeling like he's leaving her behind (because he does. over and over and over and over.) This guy just keeps throwing himself into work because he thinks it's what's best for everyone. Hey sir neglecting emotional needs can be kinda detrimental to everyone involved, I think you might wanna know that ^ quotes courtesy of @soappox

And to come back to alcoholism for a bit, alcoholism is alcoholism, and someone asked why I thought that a Chilchuck with depression would drink and cope through alcohol, since drinking seems to be something cheerful to him. It does puzzle me a bit but it’s worth going over, so… I don’t think him using drinking as a coping mechanism is far fetched at all. Cheerful drunks that are alcoholic still can absolutely use alcohol in ways like that. If something makes you happier, or even just more numb which translates to you feeling more free etc etc, then I definitely think it tracks that he’d keep drinking. Like personally I do think he’d drink a lot after his wife left him, and in rough patches like that. Depression -> not wanting to have to think, the days are blurring together and you either don’t want to be conscious or you want to feel something etc etc -> drinking for the alcohol. Alcoholics tend to be, well, dependent on alcohol. If something bad happens etc they’re usually more likely to go harder on it rather than stop. We can debate on when and why Chilchuck first started to drink but it’s straight up his favorite food now and it’s deeply ingrained in his life, in his favorite outings and activities and priorities and moods and meals. A CHEERFUL DRUNK IS STILL A DRUNK!!! They drink to get happy not drink because they are happy, though obviously the two can have overlap.

Chil represses sooo much. His solution to interpersonal conflict and feelings is just don’t think about it and dull your feelings & senses to everything ✨ I love him. I need to kill him with hammers Like the other day I was thinking about an AU where he might have ran away from his neglectful home or something, but then I remembered he deals with everything including his family by dulling his feelings and senses to things 🫠 He wouldn’t leave

I’d say he doesn’t look troubled by loss through death, moreso loss through mistakes. His nightmare is his daughters dying yes, but moreso them being killed, there’s an axe in the wall etc, it’s about having failed to protect them.

If he can’t fuck something up or if he’s already fucked it up there’s this pacifying sense that he can’t have the rug pulled from under him, because that’s what having connections is, having a wife isn’t an insurance it’s a rug waiting to be pulled. And his brand is sort of Flawed Mr Mistakes Man so he’s kinda been having to cope lol. I do think he throws himself into workaholism, because it’s sort of the only way to live he knows, making yourself capable and useful and spending his days working like that, less time to think, too tired to think. Senses dulled, senses that are usually too sharp, cutting with clarity that he prefers ignoring and avoiding. Work is something he doesn’t have to feel through, something that gives him pride and self-esteem, something through all the danger and life or death risk feels safer, emotionally. No one taught him how to deal with things another way, it’s always been suck it up and work.

Conclusion

Stop smoking we love you and we don’t want you to die

No drinking will not externalize your feelings no it won’t vent them out well please Chilchuck ple-ea-ease…….

</3 They should invent an alcoholism that doesn’t make you dysfunctional and hard to be around

^ Drunk, by The Living Tombstone

I’ve been thinking about enneagrams and Chil is 6w7 highkey. Becomes 3 when stressed, a little 8 but it’s more that he wants security so much that he becomes paranoid rather than having the core of an 8 y’know. I haven’t dug into it for quotes yet but this paper goes hard if you’re curious.

Dropping my relevant Spotify playlists here bc why not: Chilchuck & his wife, marchil angst

[bonesandthebees]

still thinking about the qsmp lighting strike one shot...

learning sign language makes you realise just how isolating it is to cant hear properly and its just so nice to see phil signing even when hes not speaking directly to tallulah and even tho she has a hearing aid and could hear him this close

richas having a prosthetic leg and being carried a lot and the other kids understanding that and not complaining about not being carried too which is something youd except to see with kids

and the kids choosing to speak mostly with sign too and richas having to learn with his leg and finding little bonuses like hiding lock picks, its so interesting and cool to see, just representation man, yk

and just the way such a short story is packed with happy little language things in general is sweet, hearing your own language after some time is always such a good feeling, cant imagine not hearing it for so long

or while the parents are communicating in english they still talk to the kids in their languages so they nurture their native languages and dont forget

and you nailed character voices and personalities so well, like you clearly worked on every character to figure them out and its so cool to see basically literally the qsmp characters in this story

the bagi and cellbit moment was a cherry on top, made me so emotional I love them

the possible/implied parallel to crimeboys/wil and tallulah was so hopeful

all in all such a sweet little story, 10/10 I cried

aaaa thank you so much this makes me so happy to hear how much you enjoyed it

yes exactly, a lot of hearing people, even well meaning ones, don't seem to realize how much hoh/deaf people have to struggle with feeling isolated. even if a hoh/deaf person can read lips, can hear a bit, has hearing aids, or even has a cochlear implant that doesn't mean they talking to people is easy. there's issues with background noise or not having people facing you when they speak or sometimes you just don't have the energy that day to put your everything into focusing on what other people are saying. I'm a hearing person but this was a common thing I heard about my Deaf teachers in my ASL classes when we learned about Deaf culture and audism. also, while of course I'm in no way trying to say my experiences are similar to that of a hoh/deaf person, I have an audio processing disorder so hearing is something I struggle with a LOT, specifically when it comes to communicating with others. if there's a lot of background noise, even if I'm standing right next to someone I might only catch ~60% of what they say and I have to use context to guess the rest. it's unbelievably frustrating at times.

so I figured that since q!phil is already so accommodating and aware of tallulah's 'asthma' in canon, I thought it just made sense that in an au where she's hoh he would be very attentive and would make sure to sign to her regularly so she won't miss out on what's going on.

richas babyyyy <33 when they're walking for long periods of time like that I figured it just made sense for the adults to want to take the strain off of richarlyson's leg by carrying him, but also I just thought the mental image of richas sitting on cellbit's shoulders was too cute not to include. benefits of having six parents is there's always someone around to carry you lol. also I thought of the lockpick thing and it was too funny not to mention. richas would 100% hide random things in his prosthetic if it had a compartment for that.

I had the rest of the kid prefer signing to talking for two main reasons: one, I thought it would be the way to interpret all of them using signs in canon to talk while tallulah is the only one who has hearing aids. and two, when you grow up in a world where being too loud means death, wouldn't you learn not talking is better? it's sad but I thought it made sense :(

the language stuff in general was so fun to play with. although it's definitely nervewracking to try and write in languages I don't know, I think it just feels more natural for the parents to speak to their kids in their first languages even when they're around english speakers. idk I just went off vibes for those bits and really enjoyed it. and then cellbit and bagi's entire Big convo I felt had to be in portuguese given how serious the subject matter was so of course they'd both have it in their first language, and I'm so grateful for the help I got with the portuguese there.

i've had several people tell me I nailed the character voices in lightning strike and that makes me SO happy because I was trying so hard. some of the members are easier for me to write (phil I'm used to obviously, cellbit idk why I just kind of get how he talks and don't have to think too hard) but then for others I put a lot of effort into making sure they sounded right (etoiles was the one I had to focus on the most because he has such a distinct way of talking but he's also so fun to write, bagi I've watched a lot of clips of recently so I had her voice but I still wanted to make sure I nailed her, and tina like etoiles has a fairly distinctive way of speaking so I thought over her lines a lot too)

I came up with the idea to parallel wilbur trying to find tommy and then wilbur coming back to tallulah with cellbit and bagi finding each other again after all these years while I was writing it and I was very happy with how that whole bit turned out :)

i'm so glad you enjoyed ty for this it made me smile a lot <33

[bluedalahorse]

Hey! I love your YR analysis posts, thank you so much for sharing your ideas with us! :) I'd love to hear your opinion on what you think happens in August's mind that allows him to look beyond Sara's class background when date her, given his obsession with defining himself by his status social standing. Thank you!

Hi! Thanks for reading my analysis; I’m glad you like it! I’ve been dreaming of answering an ask like yours for a long time, so I’m glad you popped up in my inbox. As it happens, I have a shorter answer and then a much longer answer prepared.

So, the first part of my thesis here is that August’s attraction isn’t rational. Feelings kinda happen however they’re going to happen, and people try to rationalize those feelings and make them make sense and fit into the frames they have for relationships. You are right to notice that August has to get past some mental blocks to get to the place where he sees Sara as a dating prospect at all. But once he gets there, he rationalizes her presence in his life using frames he understands.

Now, August doesn’t necessarily see status as something he has to earn. He sees it as something he already has and is owed more of, and as something with ideals he strives to live up to. Nonetheless, as much as August clings to his status to give himself a sense of stability in the wake of family trauma, his status is constantly in jeopardy throughout both seasons. This is what makes his behavior so erratic, and why he lashes out at others.

My (potentially controversial?) sargust theory is that Sara and August are attracted to one another from the earliest episodes of season 1, even if they don’t understand that as true at first. August’s understanding of his attraction to Sara changes over time, the same way his sense of security in his status changes. How he responds to Sara is tied together with how he responds to his perceived power in any given moment.

We often think of the ruling class as being tied to old, outdated traditions, and to some extent, that is true. But from my experience of working in proximity to people of considerable privilege, one of the ways they express that privilege is in how and when they move goalposts to fulfill their desires. Those who are privileged claim the power to write the rules, but also the power to decide what the few rare exceptions to those rules are. By the time August recognizes that he’s fallen in love with Sara and is willing to commit to her, he’s also decided to rationalize her as one of those exceptions.

It’s a little easier to see the evolution of his thoughts when you break his interactions with Sara down by half-season. Luckily, I had a meta started focused on what I see as the timeline of their relationship, so I was able to take what I’d already written and modify it to answer this ask. I’m putting this behind a cut, because it’s SUPER long. But hopefully it shows the shifts in his thinking and the ways he eventually ties Sara to his philosophy of exceptionalism. Feel free to read on if you’re curious…

(Content warning for most August topics, especially in this case toxic relationship dynamics and class-based sexual harassment.)

Intro: Framing Attraction

Before we start, we have to recognize some things about the nature of attraction. First, it’s important to realize that not everyone feels attraction in the same way or at the same pace. Wilhelm and Simon fall for one another pretty quickly, to the point where Simon makes an unambiguous move on Wilhelm at the end of 1.2. For all that Simon and Wilhelm still have a lot to understand about their feelings, Sara and August are both less in touch with their feelings and what they would want out of a relationship. In Sara’s case, we see her asking a lot of questions to the other girls that shows understanding her own feelings isn’t always easy for her. (I imagine one of the ways her AuDHD manifests is alexithymia, which, haha I relate tho.) August, meanwhile, spends so much time in cycles of self-denial and self-punishment that he’s gotten used to ignoring his own needs, whether that’s emotional needs or even needs around things like food and not over-exercising his body. As a result, what occurs between Sara and August is paced and dealt with in dialogue a little bit differently than the Wilmon stuff, but it’s just as dramatic.

Second, and less comfortably, we have to acknowledge that attraction is not always accompanied by purity of intentions or emotions, and that a person’s understanding of their own attractions can be influenced by outside social structures. As a result of these structures and systems, attraction can also be expressed in ways that are laced with disdain. (Patriarchy, for instance, gives heterosexual men an abundance of sexist language and tropes to draw on when describing or addressing women, even women they’re attracted to.) Hence August calling Sara a “freak” and berating her early on in the study hall scene. This is not to agree with the idea that A Little Boy Pulls On A Little Girl’s Pigtails Because He Secretly Likes Her, because that is a dangerous and harmful idea and I don’t subscribe to it. Rather, I want to examine how societally-influenced biases shape our ability to process and act on our feelings in a healthy way.

Sara and August sit at an intersection of class, gender, and neurotype that influences how they react to one another and initially prevents them from seeing one another as potential partners. Consider that an overwhelming amount of Western history and culture includes men who harass women into relationships, spouses complaining about one another, working class women getting taken advantage of by upper class men, and just general… *waves at all of that.* As much as we want to believe we’re now in the era of the emotionally honest softboy, these sexist, classist, and ableist influences are still very much with us, and we still see the kind of nonsense that’s out there nowadays radicalizing young men into crap behaviors toward women. We don’t have to be resigned to this in our own society, but we do have to acknowledge it and how it influences August. I mean, August can’t even express his attraction to Felice without being gross and offensive about it, and she’s of his class and therefore someone his biases nudge him to see as “marriage material” at first. So how is he supposed to recognize what he’s feeling about Sara and reframe it in a healthy way?

For what it’s worth, we can see how Wilhelm’s societal programming impacts his relationship with Simon, too. It’s not just the sexual orientation stuff, but the class stuff. We can see the little moments where Wilhelm starts to drift into “we can just hook up and have it be a secret forever.” We see how he tries to make things happen with Felice (and that’s additionally nuanced, because he and Felice are also performing Gender as Hillerska defines it.) The part where Wilhelm denies being with Simon in the video on live TV is really the apex of that kind of class-based thinking, that would let him just kind of have Simon be a secret guy on the side. 

Wilhelm however, unlike August, is much more willing to actively question his biases from the beginning of the series. He protests against being at Hillerska in the first place because he doesn’t want to be surrounded by people who parrot the ideas he was raised with and validate him on everything. Wilhelm wants his views challenged, even when he is periodically tempted to slide back into the habits of the upper classes. August wants his views reinforced, because he clings to his class status and social hierarchy as something that makes him feel grounded, and that’s always slipping away from him in a way it isn’t for Wilhelm. August eventually does push past his biases and see his attraction to Sara for what it is, but things go to hell again when he tries to assimilate her into his class-bound cultural norms.

1.1-1.3: August and Sara discover each other’s existence

In the first three episodes, August isn’t trying to assert his status by pursuing Sara. Instead, he’s pursuing Felice, who he insists that he wants to marry. (Marriage is, after all, a way to keep the noble classes going.) Still, there’s little hints about his future with Sara that we should be watching for, it’s just that neither Sara nor August quite knows the vibes they are putting out just yet.

I want to start by pointing out a moment of foreshadowing during the party scene in 1.1. August is giving Wilhelm his “we could murder someone and get away with it” speech which ends in the question of “who wants to be ordinary?” The Eriksson siblings enter the party right then, and the camera cuts over to Simon and Sara together. We’re following Wilhelm’s gaze at this point, and the camera is showing us his attraction to Simon, what with the way the way Simon is surrounded by colored light, all glow sticks and casual clothes and charisma. (I love this moment because it’s an immediate visual rebuke to August’s philosophy of exceptionalism and special-ordinary dichotomy; the special can be found within the ordinary, and there is so much beauty there.) We’re in Wilhelm’s head and being pulled along into his attraction to Simon. At the same time, August is shadowing Wilhelm the same way that Sara shadows Simon. From the start, we are being primed to see these two relationships as parallel. The camera isn’t quite ready to hint at full-fledged attraction yet, but it’s telling you to get ready for that attraction to develop and track it throughout the season.

In 1.2 and 1.3 we have moments of uncomfortable subtext. Consider the moment in 1.2 where August slides up to Sara and casually asks if maybe, could he please try some of her ADHD medication?

(Crap, I saved this but I forgot who made it. If someone tells me, I’ll credit them in an edit.)

I wouldn’t call their vibe consciously flirty or anything; that’s not quite what’s happening here. Sara’s initially buried in her book the way I am when a guy tries to talk to me on the metro. (She can be feeling attraction but still find the attention unwanted, which is important to mention. These things are complicated.) Still… there is a Vibe on August’s part. I say there is a Vibe because of how Simon reacts when he sees the conversation happening. Immediately Simon rolls in and plays the protective brother and is very never talk to my sister again. Which is about the 50 mg of Vyvanse, yes. But I find it hard to believe that this is not also about August potentially hitting on Sara, and Simon being worried about that.

As for 1.3, one place where there might be subtext about Sara’s feelings is the whole to-do over lunch tables. August is gatekeeping the Erikssons’ access to lunch as a way of flexing his power, and each Eriksson reacts in a way that’s quite telling. Simon is incensed, and uses it as the springboard for a (very justified) rant. Linda isn’t bothered; she is so cheerily sure it’s all just a misunderstanding and of course they’re going to be served in a minute. Sara… is quiet and withdrawn in a way that suggests she might be embarrassed by both her brother and her mother. Simon is unwilling to accept the rules while Linda doesn’t understand them. Sara’s worked so hard to learn the social rules and fit in, and here are her family members flagrantly ignoring the rules! In front of people! In front of… a person she might be developing a crush on, but knows she “shouldn’t” be? It’s not quite there until you think about it in retrospect, but that’s why Young Royals has so much rewatch value.

To be fair, both of these scenes are operating very much in the realm of subtext rather than text (and neither of them portrays a healthy sargust power dynamic.) It’s comparatively rare to encounter a heterosexual pairing who can’t quite find the words or social structures to articulate what they are, while the same-sex pairing they’re paralleled to knows very much that they care for one another. Wilhelm may struggle to label himself, but he understands that he desires Simon. Meanwhile, August is quick to claim a label and perform heterosexuality as a political stance, but doesn’t understand how nuanced and unexpected his desires can be.

I will also remind you that August and Rousseau are the same character, and that instead of giving us an overt, literal, absolutely excruciating Sara-August-Felice love triangle, Lisa dives into the horse subtext instead. A lot of what is under-the-surface in the early part of season 1 is expressed through the horse stuff!

1.4-1.6: Realization and Recognition

The second half of season 1 marks more of a transitional period in the sargust relationship. At this point, the subtext from before is rapidly beginning to surface in the text, and Sara and August are learning more about one another and trying to make sense of what they’re feeling about each other. There’s always been a vibe hanging between them, but now is really where they start to get pulled into one another’s orbit. At first, this looks like it’s going to conform to a toxic patriarchal paradigm, but that paradigm gets twisted a bit at the end of season 1.

Naturally the first scene that marks this shift is the one in 1.4 where August looking for Felice in the stables and encounters Sara instead. August’s immediate response to finding Sara alone is to try and sexually harass information out of her, which… is definitely uncomfortable again. We’ve got to acknowledge that in order to unpack this scene.

I’ve seen a lot of people argue that the stables scene is where Sara’s attraction begins, and I’m not sure if I agree with that. Sara’s inexperienced when it comes to relationships, but I don’t think she’s so pure and naive that August’s cocky performance is what sweeps her off her feet and makes her fall for him. We also know she isn’t taking what he says at face value, because one of the questions she asks him is what he really wants. Instead, it makes infinitely more sense to me that Sara’s already been attracted to August for a few weeks and is still kind of wondering what those butterfly feelings are in her stomach, and now here’s this extra bizarre social interaction (with added kissing that Sara doesn’t consent to but may have wanted under different circumstances) for her to hang those feelings on.

On August’s end… man. Why must this boy be such a can of emotional worms? I do wonder how much something is shifting in his head as he begins to hit on Sara. Most of those shifts are happening for him subconsciously. Maybe what he’s settling on in 1.4 is that, it’s fun to flirt with Sara to assert his social dominance that way, but at that point in the narrative he doesn’t think she counts as a long-term relationship/marriage material kinda girl the way Felice does.

Here I think it’s important to remember for that for most of Western history, wealthy upper class men weren’t shamed for pursuing women of lower classes on the side of their married relationships. (Sometimes these side relationships were more or less consensual relationships with mistresses, but other times men were just taking advantage of women who worked for them, and consent was impossible.) I’m not saying that August is thinking consciously about Sara being “available” for temporary amusement because she’s working class, but I am saying that’s the historical tradition of toxic masculinity that he’s been raised in. He does not expect to be caught and dumped for kissing Sara, because unconsciously he’s absorbed the upper class patriarchal programming that doesn’t even identify this behavior as cheating. It’s just a “fun” way to get the information he wants. (Ugh.)

Tl;dr it’s important to view August hitting on Sara in the stables not as August leaning awayfrom his upper class status, but rather as him trying to assert it. Yes, he does try to get Felice into a committed relationship with him to assert his status and masculinity, but now that he’s in a committed relationship with her he doesn’t feel any more secure in his status. So now he’s pulled Sara into his whole social class deal as well. (Ugh. UGH.)

That isn’t, thankfully, where August stays. 1.6 marks another key shift in his mindset toward Sara, because it’s where August sees a genuine connection between them for the first time. When Sara goes to confront August about why he leaked the video of Simon and Wilhelm, he corners her and offers to give her whatever she wants. Sara confesses her secret desire—to be a boarder at Hillerska and become one of its elite students. August’s reaction is fascinating, because there’s almost a quality of relief to it. Part of that, of course, is because he can easily buy her off. But I think it’s also because he’s finally not alone. It’s worth remembering that August has spent most of season 1 worrying about paying his tuition and the possibility that he might get kicked out of school. As Erik tells us before he dies, August made Hillerska his entire personality as a way of dealing with the grief over his father’s suicide. Sara, who is using Hillerska to escape her own family trauma, feels similarly about it as a space where she can feel more agency, and now she’s worried that her mother will pull her out of school.

(On Sara’s part, August’s behavior has become increasingly erratic over the course of the last few episodes, and I think she’s drawn to the idea that he might need help. I covered a little of this when I talked about Sara being the special horse girl who wants to tame the troubled horse, but we also see this come out in her friendship with Felice. She wants to help Felice when they first meet! Not to mention, one of the big things Sara gets in trouble for is revealing people’s secrets. If you think about it, August has revealed the biggest secret of the series by leaking the video about Simon and Wilhelm. As pissed as Sara is on Simon’s behalf—and people forget how pissed she is, in 1.6—she also understands what it’s like to have let a secret out and regretted it. Sara’s doing rationalizing of her own.)

I don’t know how much of that runs through August’s head in an obvious or logical way, but in his gut, he’s feeling this jolt of recognition. Sara feels it too. Sara sees him, and he sees her. The magnetic pull has finally brought them together, and when she kisses him, he kisses back. We’d be rooting for these kids as they found a genuine connection, if they weren’t also covering up a horrendous and harmful crime. Sigh! And know we know we’re in for some drama in season 2…

2.1-2.3: Liminal Companionship

Season 2 begins with both Sara and August in an in-between state, where neither of them quite fits into the world they’ve been placed in. Sara’s gotten her coveted boarder’s scholarship to Hillerska, but is rapidly becoming disillusioned with the amount of wealth her dorm mates take for granted. August, meanwhile, hasn’t had to leave school after all, but is convinced he could lose his status and freedom at any minute if anyone finds out he leaked the video. They don’t really discuss this directly, but it’s clear they feel more comfortable around one another because each of them has seen a side of the other the rest of the world isn’t aware of. Moreover, given the amount of discomfort each of them is feeling at the beginning of the season, it’s understandable that Sara and August would seek out one another’s company more deliberately.

It’s in this in-between space, where August feels like he’s lost so much of his Hillerska identity, that he finally starts to recognize that Sara is someone who can hold emotional space for him. At the same time, he goes back and forth between wanting to be vulnerable with her and keeping her at a distance. He breaks down and panics in front of her, causing her to teach him deep breathing, but then runs away after. He seems to like Sara, but he’s cautious about getting too close.

Sara and August’s physical relationship is also in a liminal state at this point in season 2, somewhere between an unexpected platonic friendship and a blossoming romance. Not that anyone should have to define a relationship if they don’t want to, but it’s almost humorous to me how you have this period between 1.6 and 2.3 where Sara and August keep touching and kissing and even grinding on one another and they just… keep acting like it’s happening for the first time. Like. Do we maybe want to communicate about that? No? Yes? Omg you kids are such teenagers, stop.

Sara takes the physical lead most of the time, which is a change from the aggressive predatory gender roles we see August performing in 1.4. I don’t think August is more passive because he isn’t interested (we see the way he lifts Sara up onto his desk in 1.6, and the way he laughs to himself after Sara leaves his room in 2.2.) I personally think this is more about August’s tendency to punish himself. His establishing shots in 2.1 are all about self-punishment and self-denial—the grueling exercise, the infamous bites of kale. We also see him refusing to fight for himself when Wilhelm starts maneuvering him out of his Hillerska positions. August is starting to give up in a big way, and at first he holds Sara at arms’ length because he isn’t letting himself indulge in anything that could bring him actual joy.

For that reason, we don’t really see a reciprocal ebb and flow develop between Sara and August until 2.3, when they finally more consciously choose to do relationshippy things and decide to have sex for the first time. One thing that really stands out to me in this scene is that August is so sure he’s doomed. He is genuinely convinced at this point that the palace is going to send him to jail and brand him a criminal for life. And now that he’s lower than he’s ever been at any point in the series, he’s weirdly somehow gained the ability to show compassion for himself. This is also the episode where he throws his pills aside and pats Rousseau (his narrative shadow) on the nose. If August is doomed anyway, and he’s about to lose everything, well, why not give in to his developing feelings for the girl who likes him back even if she knows he made a terrible decision? Maybe he thinks it’s his one chance to be with her.

I don’t know if August expects that he’ll fall hard for Sara. The reality is, by the time they’re together, he already has fallen for her. Suddenly, she’s a person he’ll fight to keep in his life. Suddenly, August doesn’t want to give up anymore.

2.4-2.6: Whose Cinderella fantasy?

The first time I watched season two, I wondered if August was going to approach Sara differently after his meeting at the palace. There was always the possibility that his (alleged) new security in life would influence him to cast her aside and go back to pursuing upper class girls. Instead what we see is that August is just as devoted to Sara as before—even more devoted, in fact. He invites her to the dance so they can debut together as a public couple. He sets up his room with candles and champagne and waits for her and there’s almost marriage proposal vibes about the whole thing and we all die of second-hand embarrassment when Sara texts to say she’s changed plans. August and Sara argue at the Valentine’s dance, causing August to backslide and start scheming again, but the minute she shows up and cries at his door about losing Rousseau, he takes her in and comforts her. He buys her the horse. He refuses to snitch on her in the field when Wilhelm has a gun pointed at his chest.

Anyway. We know August has very deep feelings for Sara, and it’d be easy to say his feelings run deep enough that he no longer cares that she isn’t high class. And his feelings do run that deep. But there’s another component too, when you think about how August is envisioning his future, and how Sara is part of that future. He’s happy to have her listen in on his phone call about the ten-year plan because he sees her as part of the ten-year plan.

After August’s meeting at the palace, he no longer sees himself as the heir to Årnäs, but rather as a prince in line for the Swedish throne. A noble is supposed to serve and protect the king by making an advantageous marriage and having sons—August explains this much in 1.4 when he’s talking to Wilhelm about the Society—but the king (in August’s fantasies at least) is ultimately at the top of the hierarchy and can bend the rules to suit his will. So August marrying who he wants is really an expression of kingly power, in August’s mind. Of course he can rewrite the rules for himself and marry Sara and make her his queen. He almost says exactly that out loud, when he promises never to hurt her and frames it as a royal oath. And while August and Sara never discuss having children, I’m sure August assumes it will happen someday. (That weirdo probably has names picked out and everything.) That means he’ll be able to fulfill one of the most important duties of kingship (especially in an era where a king’s powers are mostly symbolic) which is producing an heir and keeping the monarchy going.

Anyway, I actually do think that between Sara and August, it’s not Sara who’s caught up in the Cinderella fantasy—it’s August. He really wants to be the prince who rescues her from her ordinary life of drudgery and makes her dreams come true. Why? Because August loathes himself and can’t sit with his own flaws, and it’s more comfortable to imagine himself as Sara’s princely hero than as the guy who leaked the video. And he and Sara are soulmates, in August’s mind. He sees her ambition, and sees himself in it, and he wants to reward it. I don’t think that’s something he could see himself doing as the heir to Årnäs, but maybe it’s something he can do as heir to the throne.

Implicitly I think there’s an element of competition with Wilhelm, too. Sara and August’s fight at the Valentine’s dance brings that subtext bubbling to the surface. Sara is concerned about being in a public relationship with her a royal when she saw what happened to her brother after being outed. August replies, bitterly, that he isn’t Wilhelm, and accuses Sara of just wanting sex.

It’s worth unpacking this. As viewers, we know exactly how devoted Wilhelm is to Simon. But from August’s point of view, all he sees is Wilhelm disavowing Simon on live TV and not standing by him. Keep in mind, too, that the rumors of Wille and Felice’s hookup are traveling around the school at that time, and yet Felice and Wille are not attending the dance together, probably signaling to August that either a) Wilhelm treated Felice like a conquest and then pushed her aside, or b) Felice is a gold digger who took advantage of Wilhelm for her own gain. From August’s perspective, what he’s thinking is, he’ll be more committed and mature than Wilhelm. He will be a good partner. He’s not afraid of being seen with his Eriksson sibling, who he absolutely intends to take to the dance properly and stand in posed graduation photos with and probably marry someday. August is keeping score, and he also believes in his own hype. He’s infuriated that Sara can’t see how he’s different than Wilhelm. That’s why the moment he and Sara are back in each other’s arms in 2.5, he immediately leans toward rhetoric about making her his queen and staying with her long-term. I do think he genuinely means this, but we also can’t ignore that he sees himself as better than Wilhelm for it. He’ll do an unexpected fairy tale romance of his own and he’ll do it better than Wilhelm ever did, dammit!

Now if you’re very clever (and yes, this is me trying to channel the gravitas of Abigail Thorn) you’ll notice how actively ignorant and irrational August is being. He’s constructing a narrative about his relationship with Sara that ignores their rocky beginnings. To some extent, August doesn’t have a full picture of what’s going on in Wilhelm’s head, and he’s also assuming he’ll have a lot more free will as king than would actually be true. (We see this in another way, when he tells Jan-Olof he has some ideas about how to modify the Jubilee Day speech, and gets stopped from doing so.) But it still doesn’t stop August from dreaming about being able to write the rules for himself.

Well, of course August is actively ignorant. Systems of oppression thrive on the active ignorance of those at the top. That’s exactly what allows people in August’s position to think well of themselves and genuinely see themselves as good people (who occasionally make mistakes) rather than people running a system that perpetuates wealth disparities and patriarchy and inequality.

Conclusion: The Privileges of Inconsistency and Ignorance

To sum up: I genuinely do think that August is attracted to Sara from almost the beginning of the show. At first, his warped worldview causes him to ignore or lash out at or objectify her, and overall fail to treat her with respect. When it looks like he might lose all of his power, he does have a brief window where he can see her as a fellow human being who makes him feel less alone, and discovers his feelings for her in a new light. As soon as he’s spared by the royal court, however, he becomes consumed by the fantasy of being king and rewriting the rules to make Sara his queen. Being able to cast her in that role would go against convention, but it would also be the ultimate expression of his power and agency. Other people would still have to follow the rules, but August would get to break them, because the king gets to make the rules and be the authority on everything. This isn’t, of course, what Sara wants—but part of August’s hamartia is that he assumes he and Sara are on the same page.

Maybe this isn’t a popular opinion, but it’s upsetting to me that Sara and August didn’t get to connect under different circumstances. When they work together, they work. But by god do they need some therapy and a social revolution to boot. I 99% agree with (I believe) missbolt’s post on Sara and August, where she talks about them fulfilling a deep need in one another. The one place I disagree (possibly in a very nitpicky way that isn’t really disagreement) is that I do think August sees real ambition/struggle to survive in Sara, and I do think Sara sees real vulnerability/loneliness in August. These traits are real and not illusions. Because Young Royals emphasizes choices over “innate” moral personality traits, however, what Sara and August don’t foresee in each other is the choices and sacrifices the other is willing to make. Sara is willing to put aside her ambitions to try and make things right with her brother, while August shoves away his vulnerability to try and prove to himself that he’s worthy of power within a system that’s content to just use him and toss him aside when he isn’t useful anymore.

Neither Sara nor August really expects the other to make these decisions, and that’s what drives them apart. Sara’s choice will hopefully save her and allow her to reconnect with community; August’s choice will only further isolate him and drive him toward destruction if he doesn’t check himself and change course. August could stop this cycle of self-harm if he stopped subscribing the aristocratic ideals of masculinity, but he hasn’t yet. How infuriating! The amount of sleep I have lost over this fictional character’s terrible decisions, let me tell you.

(It kills me how gendered Sara and August’s sacrifices are, too. Sometimes I just think about it and I want to scream. But I can also appreciate the well-written tragedy of it all.)

I will also say that this reading of the characters influences my reading of the show at large. It’s part of why I’m not personally in favor of the monarchy sticking around and a Prince Consort Simon future. (I get why it appeals to other people and can read others’ fics based around that, but it’s not my personal preference.) It’s also why I can’t find hotness in the idea of Wilhelm being a sort of sexy masc dom prince who orders people around and pulls strings to make things more convenient for his precious Simon. August already exists in the narrative as a cautionary tale against that kind of power dynamic! There’s more to be said here about the way you can look at August’s choices compared to Wilhelm’s, and how they are foils to one another. Ultimately, there is danger in trying to rewrite an oppressive system in accordance with one’s individual whims, even when a person imagines something as noble as romantic love as being what motivates them.

Once upon a time, I was leaving @heliza24 a comment on the Heart and Homeland draft she sent me, and I said this:

“The road to democracy is letting aristocratic boys embrace their submissive tendencies.”

And… maybe I was being a little bit facetious. But on a symbolic level I think what I meant was, Wilhelm and August both have to envision themselves in new positions, possibly even as part of a new system, if they want to do right by the people they love. Moreover, they need to think beyond the people they love, and consider the impact of their power has on the world at large. They need to learn humility, to listen, and to manage their emotions. So far, it’s Wilhelm who’s succeeding in that kind of growth, and he doesn’t win that victory by trusting in his love for Simon alone. Instead, as I pointed out in my justice meta, Wilhelm needs therapy and community and the willingness to self-examine in order to move forward. He learns to stop focusing on winning Simon’s love like it’s a prize, and focus more on being the kind of person Simon would choose to be in a relationship with, while still acknowledging that ultimately the choice is Simon’s.

Will August eventually be able learn the same lessons? Only season 3 can tell for sure. I kind of hope he can figure it out eventually, against all odds, if only so he can one day heal from his trauma. He also has to radically accept that he caused harm toward Simon, Wilhelm, and others. If August wants to get there, he’s going to have to stop subscribing to the philosophy of exceptionalism, and instead start valuing the special within the ordinary.

[rainyfestivalsweets]

3/9/24

I survived the funeral and all the peopling it required.

Here is my food for today. I did get a couple dog walks in, but no real "cardio". I felt drained so I took a nap. Got up and finished my book: Waisted by Randy Susan Meyers

Book summary: 7 women of mixed backgrounds go to a weight loss mansion. They realize they are getting fed amphetamines and that the film makers are working on a different project than they are told.

Kinda like the show, The Biggest Loser but book form, with an ending that ends with most women being thinner but focusing on body positivity.

I got this book because it leapt out at my the 1 time I was in my local library because they just changed their hours to close at 7 pm instead of 5 pm. For Cripes sake...it was my major pet peeve because I moved back here 5 fucking years ago and could never use the library.

So what are my thoughts? Rambling thoughts from a lonely, socially isolated person in search of connection and meaning that isn't caustic or traumatic:

I understand that thin privilege exists. The way people treat me now is different than how people treated me 120 pounds heavier. I have the same heart. I care about people very deeply, still. I just look better because I am eating less and moving more.... Yada Yada Yada.

I was lucky enough to not have a mom that criticized my body, but my dad did- constantly. His sisters were between 100-120 pounds. I hit that by 7th grade! That is also close to when the dieting started for me.

In 9th grade I was about 135-140 when I had a leg injury that didn't heal. I gained almost 20 pounds in a couple months and I never got it off after that.

By my junior year I was in the 170's. He tried to manipulate my weight class and had me eat more all summer only to realize that we couldn't jump weight classes like that so I had to crash diet from 210 to 176 in like 3 weeks. It was torture.

After that I spent some time focused on other things in High school that I had never gotten to do before.

By sophmore year of college I was 210 or higher. 220 by the time I started dating. After I got a sit down job I spiked to 240 and it was impossible to get below that for the most part, even with some severe dieting and regular exercise.

And over the year, working a desk job, you gain if your output and input don't align... as mine obviously didn't. I was eating too much. I dealt with a partner who was a diet saboteur and I did a lot of stress related emotional eating (job shit).

But realistically I was also unable to maintain a calorie deficit in a sustainable way. So the diet culture mentally that didn't help me were things like the "last meal" concept.... because the "diet starts tomorrow." "I'm on vacation" & "Cheat" meals were also bad ones. Being in party mode and over drinking was another terrible one. I would drink 4+ cocktails and eventually eat a fuckton of greasy food to cover it up... (and often puke in the process. Like I said OVERDRINKING). Using exercise to offset overeating was another one. I may think of more later.... but also having lots of junky foods in the house and going out to eat constantly didn't help.

I feel like I am doing good on my current trajectory. Healthier and healthier every day. I am super excited for this process to end tho.... it is starting to feel like "Will it ever end?"

I had some vegetables and a half sandwich at the funeral luncheon also. But here is from the lunch at a sushi/Ramen place on...

I mentioned I took a nap right? And I am about to cook dinner.

[sweatforged]

silas. • bodyclaim. • headcanons. • isms. • prompts.

pedro pascal, homosexual, male + he/him, fighter «—◦—→ well met, silas rivera! the godling born child of kratos. it’s been 45 years and now they have answered the song in their veins. can he change the course of history with their loyalty, protectiveness, + strong will? or will their stubbornness, callousness, short temper hinder them? only time will tell before this godling’s name is sung into myth and legend!

BASIC INFO

full name — Silas Rivera age — forty-five (december 7th) gender — cis male, (he/ him/ his pronouns) orientation — homosexual occupation — musician, us army, mma fighter + champion, musician hero ;) deity connection — kratos  class — fighter weapon — tba clothing style / armor — jeans + flannel & layers, so many layers / tba

PHYSICAL INFO

face claim — Pedro Pascal hair — brown / eyes — brown height — five foot & eleven inches build — kinda like a T, broad af shoulders, semi-muscled torso, slutty waist (it be thin ok), everything else is yum scars — a faint one across the bridge of his nose, cut underneath his left eye, many many small ones littered across his body tattoos — notes in the back of his neck (he was grounded forever for getting it) like so, wolf on the inside of his left arm like so, front right thigh like so piercings — ears special characteristics — generally quiet, comes off a little distracted sometimes, will snark without reason, some dare calling him grumpy sexual preference— sorry y'all, this boy's a bottom sub (he thinks he's a switch but he's really not(in bed anyway). don't tell him tho.)

PERSONALITY

alignment — chaotic good positive traits — protective, caring, strong-willed, loyal negative traits — short-tempered, stubborn, callous, grumpy hobbies — training, music, kendo/kenjutsu, cooking, enjoying the quiet

MEDICAL INFO

mental — ptsd physical — when he was younger, he got his shoulder dislocated and his older half-sister thought she could pop it back in. she didn’t and broke his shoulder. he couldn't work for months, nor could he use the bow for even longer, now he can’t lift his right arm as high as the left one still, but only few know phobias — claustrophobia, pisantrophia eyesight — 20/20 although avrae tends to disagree dominant hand — left hand drug use — nop alcohol use — no !! diet — healthy, balanced. always makes his own food so he knows what's in it.

BACKGROUND

birthplace — new haven, CT parents — Marin Rivera (mother), Sarah Rivera (step-mother) & Haruhito Shindo (step-father) & Kratos (biological parent). siblings — older sister, Luisa Rivera (she be mortal) pets — floof, stray cat coming by the gym, died in a car crash right outside education — high school drop-out notable skills — krav maga, can wear cowboy hats with anything, can sing, has a mean left hook

BIO

Marin Rivera had everything in life one could wish for. She was born the youngest daughter of a wealthy family, her father dealing with property and her mother a former goddess of ballet. Money - for her, would never be an issue, but money wasn't what Marin craved more than anything in the world. It also wasn't top class education or how many horses she could own, no. What she truly desired was love. Only she wasn't meant to ever find it.

She fell for a man she couldn't have, a man who knew of her desperation and the many digits on her bank account and he saw his chance. His marriage would be a secret for at least two years of their relationship, his wife hidden away downtown, sated and distracted with money he got from naive Marin who saw the world through rose-tinted glasses.

Up until the day she wound up pregnant with a child. Before she could explain, he packed his bags and ran. It wasn't his! But she found out about his wife the day before and believe it or not - heartbreak and alcohol was never a good combination. A beautiful - if rough around the edges stranger approached her and she gave herself to him willingly, if only to forget about the pain for a night.

Silverspoon or not, Marin had only recently turned nineteen, had barely seen the world or found her way in it - too busy chasing a man who clearly was poison for her. So when she came back home, bags packed and head hung low, she was ... well, not quite welcome and yet her parents were grateful she gave them the option to hide her away. If she wanted a chance at a proper husband, she couldn't bring a little boy or girl into this life. No way.

When Silas was born, Marin .. still hoped. She hoped to raise him as her own, given she had lost everything to protect the little boy she held in her arms, but it wasn't going to be her son for long. She was sent abroad to study only a few days later and Silas was raised the youngest Rivera offspring. A miracle, given the age of his "mother". With Marin's bad decisions running in his blood, Silas was watched quite closely. A strong, strict hand would surely do the trick, right?

It didn't.

At first it did, indeed. He grew up with everything onee could possibly want. He pointed at a horse, they got him a horse. He pointed at a man on TV playing the guitar... they got him lessons. It wasn't like Silas missed anything... nothing materialistic anyway. He was signed up for language courses before he could walk and for the longest time .. he did well. When it was still all games and fun. Children's brains are spectacular, aren't they? But the older he grew, the worse it got. Diagnosed with ADHD at the age of six, one would think his parents went easier on him. They did not. Don't let the child get bored, they said. And they didn't.

His father brought in even more for him to learn. Inspired by his own heritage, he felt it useful that Silas was taught in the art of archery, japanese sword fighting and the like. Due to an infinite lack of talent when it came to tea and calligraphy, he was spared in that regard at least. All that set aside, both parents had been raised with a very clear set of rules themselves. Anything less than perfect is a failed opportunity to prove your worth.

All that pressure did not bring forth the expected rewards, in fact - they witnessed the opposite, both in school and at home. He failed time and time again. Far from a social butterfly, Silas ... struggled in school and found himself more enemies than friends, in a way - without trying. Too rich, too spoiled, too slow, too stupid. Silas was a many things, clearly. And at home, he would be ridiculed and lectured on his shortcomings.

They were lucky Silas lasted as many years as he did before he snapped, because no child could thrive under that amount of pressure. When he did snap, he was in school. P.E. was his least favorite time of the day despite him being fitter than every single kid in school simply because there wasn't a single day he didn't break anything. He tried not to. It just .. happened. And then one of the other boys laughed... it wasn't even that he was embarrassed.. it just.. he was tired of it all. He was tired of not belonging, he was tired of scrutinizing eyes on him twenty-four-seven, he was tired of working as hard as he could and still failing.

That kid never laughed at Silas again. In fact, nobody did. Not after the boy spent a month at the hospital, mostly unconscious. The outrage at home... unbearable. But for the first time in his life... he felt content. It lasted a few mere minutes, but he remembered. Sure, music got him to almost that feeling, it did, but it wasn't exactly the same. He'd ... felt peace. And so he chased it. Plenty of kids at school to experiment with. Many of them eager to fight him. Rich kid schools, worse than public in that regard. Most kids were trapped in their family's shadow and knew they needed to perform or else..

And oh, he found that feeling again. And again. Every time his fist connected with a body, every time his knuckles found bone to crack, he felt alive. School was far from happy, but a generous donation had the majority of teachers look away. Or maybe they just didn't care.

Highschool went the exact same way, only Silas was slowly growing into himself. Taller, still incredibly thin, which was the reason he was underestimated regularly, only to then surprise everybody. Silas was convinced people were either born smart or strong; he was definitely the latter, so school was .. a necessity he barely managed, only he never meant to go much further than graduation.

At 19, Silas found out a twisted version of the truth. Marin .. was dead. To him, she was a sister he never met, the one his parents always spoke about, but a guest at the funeral mentioned something he couldn't forget and when he brought it up with his parents, they told him Marin didn't want a child and they never knew the father.

That explained so much. Not even his parents wanted him. His life ... a lie. All of it. That night, Silas grabbed his guitar, packed a bag and ran. Nobody would see him for a long time, but his issues never subsided. Even the US army struggled to contain him, because just like before .. he found plenty of potential victims among those who didn't know to keep their opinions to themselves when he was around. Though he got lucky and found a sponsor among the corporals, one who seemed to be ready to help. Come what may.

Anger management therapy in combination with meditation and straining daily workout sessions seemed to do the trick for a while. Order and guidance instead of pressure seemed .. to work and while beating up punching bags wasn't quite the same thrill, it .. was okay. He even found time for music again.

And then it wasn't okay and he .. had to leave. Again. But this time he wasn't alone. Corporal went with him (and brought his daughter). They built a life for themselves in New Haven, Silas was working as a cleaner at the local gym and Corporal got into the mayor's office, sure to work his way up the ranks quickly. A few months later, first relapse. It should've cost him his job, but .. it didn't. Instead it granted him a new opportunity. Even though it would ultimately cost him his family.

He was battle-trained, had spent the majority of his life training so becoming an MMA fighter sure.. sounded like a great opportunity even though he was too old to properly get into it, they said. Silas didn't care. One, because he knew he could and two, because he didn't care about prizes, the knowledge that he could thrive in doing the one thing he was truly good at.. that was all he needed.

When he won his first title only a few years later, nobody could believe it, really. And then he held it. Year after year. The Lion - as they called him, stood strong. Silas was growing older and he was getting closer and closer to that age, at which point he was considered too old to contest, even though he felt fine and stronger than ever, the constant training sure wearing down his body's reserves, but ... his will remained unbroken and his performance unbeaten. Rules and regulations were merciless. He held several titles until he retired and returned to the gym in teeny tiny little New Haven, which felt ...lacking after he'd seen the world, so he once again packed his bags, grabbed his guitar and moved to Los Angeles.

Part of him regretted the choice he made. Fame for family. But at the end of the day he knew it'd been for the best. They were better off without him, surely. Being single wasn't so bad either. Being somewhat famous ... surely helped potential hookups look past his lack of social ... affinity. It also helped pushing his career as a musician up to the point of semi-regular income with little gigs and a few released albums. Life was .. going.

That was until he found out the truth.

The actual truth.

Obvious choice, wasn't it? He had nothing to lose.

[gendervapor14]

gen's work in progress list!

here's a little list of every story i have that's either posted but incomplete, a rough draft, or even just a little concept! it is loosely organized by priority. feel free to poke me about any of these. sometimes i need a kick to the pants to get them going. i'll try and keep it updated too!! 👍

also there are spicy themes in here so minors, DNI. thank you

titles listed in large font, italicized, and underlined, are fics that are posted on ao3! titles that are just italicized are confirmed, working titles for a rough draft. titles that are neither italicized nor underlined are still in the conceptual/early development stage. it's likely the ratings, warnings, genres, etc may change as i continue to work on them. more than happy to talk about any of these tho, regardless of their status! 💕

last updated: 11/26/23

CURRENT PROJECTS

two fights for freedom

rating: M warnings: graphic depictions of violence category: F/M, gen status: ~10 chapters posted, updates every week, ~35 chapters, ~70k-100k words tags: canon divergent, fix-it, everybody lives, pre-arlong park, angst with a happy ending, angst and feels, fluff and humor, hurt/comfort, suggestive themes, sexual tension, limes (yes i'm bringing limes back), eventual smut, romance, slow burn, arguing, financial issues, broken bones, references to depression, alcoholism, mental health issues, canon backstory, mentioned doflamingo, non-canon backstory (giving bell-mere a backstory), found family, medical inaccuracies, blood and injury, trafalgar d. water law is a little shit, developing friendships, past child abuse, nightmares, more tags to be added later (?) characters: rosinante, bell-mere, law, nami, nojiko, genzo, arlong relationships: rosinante x bell-mere summary: freedom for one means adventure. exploring all the world has to offer, while avoiding the occasional haunting. freedom for another almost costs an arm and two daughters. a home, a village. perhaps freedom is best sought back-to-back. {a cora and bell-mère lives au} wip notes: got like 80% of this mapped out so despite my busy schedule, i'm pulling this out of the woodworks! XD thank opla arlong park for giving me a kick in the pants

speechless

rating: E warnings: none category: M/M status: ~11k words, oneshot, complete, not posted genre/cw: modern au, romance, parties, awkward meetings, hidden scars, angst & feels, hurt/comfort, smut, gender dysphoria, trans croc, lgbt+ themes, first time characters: crocodile, rosinante, donquixote parents, doflamingo relationships: crocodile x rosinante, past rosinante x bell-mere conceptual summary: at a christmas party gone sour, crocodile decides to put an end to his hiding. wip notes: my desire for soft crocorosi led to this story. hopefully i'll have it ready for christmas!!

a lesson on co-parenting

rating: E warnings: none category: F/F status: drafts of 2/3 chapters written genre/cw: modern au, nanny au?, miscommunication, humor, drama, suggestive themes, smut, moral conflict characters: sora (oc), bell-mere, rosinante, law, nami, nojiko relationships: sora x bell-mere, background rosinante x crocodile conceptual summary: sora is hired as a nanny for a busy, catastrophic family. what she assumed to be an easy, generous gig turns into disaster when the matriarch openly flirts and coaxes her into bed. wip notes: i started writing this ages ago on a whim and i do intend to finish it, but i got stuck on the smut XD as soon as i finish that tho, the fic is done!

ON THE BACKBURNER

trans corabelle fic

rating: M warnings: creator chose not to use archive warnings category: F/M, M/M, gen status: 75% of the first chapter drafted, will probably be ~12 chapters genres/cw: modern au, childhood friends, class struggles, angst, gender/sexuality, bullying, suicidal thoughts/actions, toxic relationships, hospitalizations, infidelity, child custody mayhem, ftm rosinante, mtf bell-mere, drama & romance, implied sexual content characters: rosinante, doflamingo, donquixote parents, bell-mere, crocodile, law relationships: rosinante x crocodile, rosinante x bell-mere endgame conceptual summary: sometimes you have to crawl through hell to reach your happy ending. wip notes: this has become the recent brainworm. i chip away at it when i have the energy. it's gonna be fucked up, hopefully.

lost in walmart

rating: gen warnings: none category: gen, F/M status: purely conceptual genres/cw: modern au, humor, fluff, domestic bliss characters: rosinante, law, nami, nojiko, bell-mere relationships: background rosinante x bell-mere conceptual summary: bell-mere drops off rosinante and the kids at a walmart while she runs some errands elsewhere. rosinante ends up losing all the kids and struggles to relocate them before bell-mere gets back. wip notes: this idea came to me from the heavens. i'll work on it once the nanny fic is finished 👍

all that glitters

rating: M warnings: graphic depictions of violence category: gen, F/M...? status: purely conceptual genres/cw: canon divergent, donquixotes never left mariejois, angst & feels, moral dilemmas, slavery, humor? but more of a dark humor, not sure about romance/smut yet characters: bell-mere, rosinante, doflamingo, donquixote parents relationships: either none, or bell-mere x rosinante conceptual summary: what if instead of accepting death on cocoyashi, arlong sells bell-mere into slavery for a taste of irony? bell-mere would accept - she can easily escape and get back to her kids while still complying with arlong's demands. meanwhile, the donquixotes granted their youngest son his own manor. doflamingo decides the best kind of housewarming gift for his beloved brother is a pretty young slave who can keep the place tidy and prepare some meals for him. if only that gift was a bit more cooperative. wip notes: YEAH so this idea rotted my brain pretty fast once i thought of it. and i pitched the idea to a few friends, expecting to have it get shot down, but they encouraged it so, i will be writing it at some point. it'll likely be multiple chapters, and there are a lot of story holes, so i'll have to iron those out first.

sublime > perish

rating: M warnings: graphic depictions of violence, major character death category: gen status: rough draft of chapter one finished? chapter two almost finished genres/cw: canon-plausible, backstory, steampunk, angst characters: gladius, oc parents, doflamingo (at the very end) conceptual summary: “Life on this island guarantees a fatality rate of one-hundred percent. You’ve defied those odds so far. Are you willing to keep risking your life for this measly place? Or would you rather have this entire world in the palm of your hands?” This was not a difficult choice to make. If only it was. wip notes: backstory fic for gladius! put this down for a while to tackle the rarepair event in feburary, and i really need to get back to it!! 😅

the heart of art

rating: gen warnings: none category: gen status: a few little paragraphs 😔 genres/cw: modern AU, fluff, humor, slice of life, artist cora AU characters: rosinante, law conceptual summary: maybe he had no gross motor control, but if there was one thing rosinante was a master with, it was art. wip notes: i promised @flashily i would write this story ages ago and i have absolutely no excuse as to why it isn't finished yet. i am so sorry. it is up here on my list!! see!! i will get to it, i swear!! 😭😭

all bark and no bite - part II

rating: E warnings: none category: M/M, gen status: purely conceptual genres/cw: modern AU, humor, suspicions, fluff, romance, smut? characters: rosinante, crocodile, bell-mere, potentially law, nami and nojiko, but idk yet relationships: rosinante x crocodile conceptual summary: crocodile invites rosinante on one of his trips overseas. rosinante sees it as the perfect oppertunity to get his second wind and dive into his dark secrets. wip notes: received overwhelming positive feedback on the first part of this, so i've started planning a second part. but idk when i'll get around to it! i need to do a lot more plotting.

sticky fingers

rating: E warnings: none category: multi, gen status: purely conceptual genres/cw: modern au, humor, smutty but nothing you can bite your teeth into, sex toys, heists, scheming, financial issues characters: bell-mere, rosinante, various background characters relationships: bell-mere x various background characters conceptual summary: bell-mere is hankering for a reliable, human-free source of fun, but the price of sex toys is far too exorbitant for her wallet. her solution? hook up with as many rich people as she can to pocket their best toys on the way out. wip notes: i was researching sex toys for ANOTHER fic and i couldn't help but notice the prices?? i was like "christ, bell-mere could never afford these" and then i got me thinking of her sitting on a thrown of stolen sex toys with a dildo crown. and i thought. i should write that.

donut miss your chance!

rating: T warnings: none! category: M/M, gen status: one chapter posted on ao3, 5300 words genres/cw: modern AU, fluff, humor, slice of life, blind date, awkward date, anxiety, reference to selective mutism characters: rosinante, bell-mère, katakuri relationships: rosinante x katakuri summary: bell-mère sets rosinante up with "a cute baker." a 7'2" punk-goth behemoth is not exactly what rosinante had in mind. wip notes: planning at least one more chapter for this! (but probably more) i'll get around to it after i find the time to watch WCI 👍

nami sewing

rating: gen warnings: none category: gen status: purely conceptual genres/cw: canon compliant, flashbacks, nostalgia, character study, canon-typical violence, blood and injury, angst & feels characters: nami, bell-mere, arlong, strawhats pirates conceptual summary: nami remembers her mother teaching her how to sew. wip notes: sometimes when i look at my hands, i see my grandmother's hands when she would teach me how to sew as a child. i wonder if, even though they weren't related by blood, nami sees her mother's hands in her own when she sews.

rainstorm

rating: E warnings: major character death...? category: F/M, gen status: a few ficlets half-completed genres/cw: angst, romance, canon compliant, smut, humor, tension characters: rosinante, sora (oc), possibly sengoku & tsuru relationships: rosinante x sora conceptual summary: a ficlet collection for sorazon. wip notes: basically a dumping pile of scenes i scrapped or wrote in a sad, sappy stupor.

physical therapy au?

rating: M warnings: none category: F/M status: purely conceptual genres/cw: modern au, physical hurt/comfort, rehabilitation, injury, humor, awkward sexual situations, awkward flirting, mutual pining, dating, romance, secret relationship characters: rosinante, sora (oc) relationships: rosinante x sora conceptual summary: sora gets assigned a "highly-temperamental" case of a very injured marine vet. after expecting an irritable, violent older person, sora is thrown off when her patient turns out to be a kind-hearted young man. wip notes: this story is like a little bug nibbling at the back of my brain. i might bump it up after i grab lunch with a friend who is an occupational therapist. miiiight just annoy her with 100+ questions XD

babysitting

rating: T warnings: none! category: gen status: one chapter posted on ao3, 2,737 words genres/cw: humor, domestic fluff? as domestic as the donquixote family gets at least, canon-compliant, dark humor characters: gladius, dellinger, doflamingo summary: “What’s the matter, Gladius, are you afraid of little Dellinger?” “Horrified, sir.” wip notes: i posted this ages ago and got a few comments kindly requesting the second chapter so. yes. it is coming. i have a loose plan. gladius is going to end up taking dellinger to that grocery store. the grocery store will not remain standing by the end of the story 👍

corazón de oro

rating: gen warnings: none! category: gen status: complete, oneshot, 2,785 words genres/cw: hurt/comfort, grief/mourning, nightmares, canon-compliant characters: rosinante, law summary: “Love, it’s…kind of like a leap of faith. You take your dive, you give them your heart. And you can only hope they’ll catch it when you land.” worth clarifying, not a ship wip notes: adding another chapter soon! i have this idea in mind revolving around this idea of rosi and law discussing religion 👀 (outside of my field of expertise tho, so i may take a bit with this one)

dofladile story

rating: M warnings: none category: M/M status: one and a half chapters of rough draft written, but idk where i'm going with it genres/cw: canon-plausible, humor, angst, maybe light smut? idk characters: doflamingo, crocodile relationships: doflamingo x crocodile conceptual summary: somehow, doflamingo convinced crocodile to take a visit over to dressrosa. his lovely guest is not as lovely as he was anticipating. wip notes: i'll go through phases of working on this and adding like, 1000 or so words at a time, and then i'll take a huge break. they're both very difficult for me to write in a canon-plausible setting. so much thinking.

band au?

rating: ??? warnings: none category: ??? status: purely conceptual genres/cw: modern au, band au, uhhh. sex and drugs i dunno characters: rosinante, bell-mere, smoker, hina, others. probably relationships: ??? conceptual summary: ??? wip notes: SORRY i have nothing for this other than a band (the four listed characters) and a few lyrics in a little notes document on my phone. might turn this into more of an art project than a story. yet to be determined.

01746 sequel

rating: M warnings: graphic depictions of violence category: gen, M/M, F/M status: fragment of the first chapter written, mostly conceptual genres/cw: canon plausible, angst, mental health issues, alcoholism, pirates are evil, especially doflamingo, dark themes, unhealthy relationships characters: doflamingo, donquixote family, crocodile, sora? (oc) viola conceptual summary: the death of the heart left a gap for many. some filled that hole with shovels and dirt. others used lead. wip notes: uh, yeah, pretty much the label on the can. picks up directly where 01746 left off. doflamingo is making his way towards dressrosa, trying to pick up the pieces. idk if sora's going to be in this. if she is, i think she might join baroque works. we'll see. this one's going to require a boatload of planning, so i'll get around to it next century.

make sure you check out my #gensbthb tag too, for details on upcoming projects for the bad things happens bingo event. i write those very randomly so there's no saying when another will pop up.

[sneepity-snoop-snorpity-sneep]

I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON HOW AMERICAN SOCIETY HANDLES MENTAL DISABILITY AND I HAVE DECIDED TO talk about it to myself on my blog at moderate volume

THOUGHT NUMBER 1!!

OK so i’m pretty sure anyone who’s thought about it knows that the medical community (and other industries connected to it, like the insurance dudes), don’t consider brain-malfunction conditions to be on the same tier as other forms of healthcare, and give less priority to funding those departments, which means even if you HAVE got a bunch of medical professionals in those disciplines who DO take that ish seriously, they’ve got immediate barriers between them and the folks needing their services. which sucks.

that one i don’t have an immediate fix for, cuz i don’t think there IS an immediate fix, especially with how many more people are needing mental health treatments/evaluations these days. but you know what COULD have a nice big drastic impact on how people as a whole see mental health AND ALSO how large of a burden untreated mental health problems put on american society??

MAKE. ANNUAL. MENTAL HEALTH. EVALUATIONS. A. NORMAL. THING!!

like what parents are supposed to do with their kids and dr appointments is at least once a year, hop in the car or on the bus, and take their kid to get a physical! thats a totally normal thing people do, the idea being “even if there wasn’t anything obviously wrong before the appointment, its just a good way to keep an eye on our children’s health and catch problems sooner if a serious one does turn up!

well folks, that idea of monitoring one’s health preventing a lot of problems from becoming problems in the first place would also work with any and all forms of neurodivergency!! like how many people who struggle with a brain illness struggle mostly due to the fact that they weren’t prepared for it!? i’m totally projecting here btw, cuz guess what happened to me even though i WAS tested as a kid!! this exact issue right here!

obviously, a lot of mental illnesses specifically can’t be counted on to show up when you're still in childhood, where once a problem is revealed its the adults around you who are supposed to take care of you and make sure you’re getting what you need. BUT!!! but but but but BUT

if you DID come down with a condition as an adult, but you’d already been somewhat familiarized with what symptoms WERE IN FACT symptoms, and common treatments/solutions for said symptoms, due to having regular psychiatric checkups with a dr throughout childhood?

well, odds seems pretty good that you’d be much better prepared for that condition if/when it did come along, and it would probably take less time to notice it too!

say nothing of the fact that this would do a lot to de-stigmatize mental health, cuz if u arrange ur healthcare system so it is No Longer Assuming That Neurotypicality Is The Norm, then EVERYONE’S got that knowledge too, and even for the people who haven’t got a form of neurodivergence and never will -  them having a similar stockpile of background knowledge and awareness of mental health as those who do have a condition will do a ton to remove the obstacles in the way of effective society-wide treatment of brain illnesses (both on the stigma side of things, and on the practical symptom-treating side)

THOUGHT NUMBER 2!!

so this party-popper of thought was specifically inspired by a post i saw but can’t find (NVM I FOUND IT :D) that listed neurotypical traits in a similar manner as autistic traits tend to be talked about - i chuckled at it and then went like hey, what if tho, what if that could actually have some practical applications?

specifically, what if that exact premise was used as a the foundation of a unit in health classes in public schools?

like i know that even if you get a health curriculum and teacher that does a fairly good job of talking about what they’re required/allowed to talk about, there just isn’t enough time given to go into detail about a lot of important shit, and in the classes i got at least, neurodivergency vs. neurotypical-ness was one of the things not discussed (most of the ones i got focused on healthy relationships, which they did a good-but-not-great job on)

but if you had even just a couple lectures where the teachers first explain what each one is, give a few examples of neurodivergent conditions, and then follow it up with a talk outlining the neurotypical traits and explaining why/how they’re neurotypical traits?? it could definitely have a similar effect as the theoretical benefits to Thought #1

it would potentially re-frame the lack-of-condition that is being neurotypical - like i feel like the way people see it as ‘normal’ and while i get how that’s the impression people end up with, i think that’s a bad way to try and categorize the different ways the human brain functions - cuz what does normal even mean??? it doesn’t really describe anything except that ‘this person doesn’t seem to have anything going on with their behavior, they must be normal’ which. uh. hi there high-functioning folks, how y’all doing on this fine fall afternoon?

like if i’d been made aware that a lot of the stuff i did that i knew was what made me ‘weird’ were actually full-on SYMPTOMS that i actually shared with a ton of other people!? lemme tell you, it would’ve made a BIG difference in how much i measured the scope my problems based on ‘i’m weird though, so this is to be expected’

 Even (or maybe especially) though i didn’t actually know anybody personally with the same conditions, because hey! i didn’t know many people personally who also had asthma, but i never developed any hangups around how that affected my physical needs. why would I??! i’d already met a bunch of doctors about it, gotten an inhalor for it, and knew it was a Condition and that i was far from the only kid who had it. there wasn’t any empty space in my knowledge that i was left to fill with my own assumptions, that if i was so perpetually inadequate it must just be a trait i had and there wasn’t any point in trying to logic my way out of that burden

it doesn’t seem like it would be particularly difficult to close that knowledge gap when it comes to how people look at mental illness and neurodivergency, even just by explaining what’s really going into being allistic, neurotypical, or ‘normal’ would go a long way towards dispelling the idea that people have absolute control over their brains and behavior, as well as just being a great way to get folks with undiagnosed going-ons in their grey matter to shake off any assumptions they’ve made about how they should look at themselves for not being normal

ok yeah, having lectures where u explain how a person is neurotypical the same way you’d explain how someone is neurodivergent won’t help people with brain conditions know which one they’ve got or what to do about it - but i feel like the greater gain here is disrupting the idea that being neurotypical or ‘normal’ is something that awards merit or pride.

no one who’s not-neurodivergent got that way because of something they personally achieved or did. it wasn’t a reward they received from the universe for being a Certified Good Boi, they got lucky! they didn’t do anything to personally earn a brain that functions and on the flip side of that, starting out with a brain that functions isn’t actually some form of magical protection from losing that functionality if ur good luck runs out - a lot of forms of neurodivergence aren’t ones you’re born with after all.

and even the ones that ARE, same logic applies!! autism, adhd, and other conditions aren’t metaphorical coal in ur stocking for being naughty, they just are. nobody gets a say in what stats they have at birth!! (honestly the control we have even under our own agency and mobility isn’t that influential on our circumstances a lot of the time)

basically i feel like u want to start regularly introducing the idea that the perception of ‘normal’ is coming out of very measurable things in people’s brains. A perception which really just seems like another lazy way of assuming that those who have a functioning brain won’t ever have to worry about losing that, like it’s an inherent trait to you as a person or something - newflash! it ain’t. your mind, personality, and behavior are not magical airy-fairy things detached from measurable factors, their roots are all held within your brain, and your brain is an organ which can get sick or damaged. Not only that, but since its a very complex organ to boot, it doesn’t take a very big change to cause big differences in functionality!!

like yeah in theory it would be great if you could explain the difficulties people with disabilities face to those with no personal stake in that, and have them have sufficient empathy to consider that as something that matters. And although I’m sure there ARE folks out there capable of that, there’s also a lot of folks out there who will let you down BIG TIME on that front, so i think another tactic to use when trying to combat ableism would be to start requiring curriculums that gives all the folks across the board a nice big sip of

[splintered-emotions]

I posted 10,596 times in 2022

That's 8,343 more posts than 2021!

51 posts created (0%)

10,545 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/dingdongyouarewrong

@beenovel

@shurisneakers

@merisscatteredbooknook

@blueberryrock

I tagged 3,883 of my posts in 2022

#star wars - 447 posts

#that fanart tho - 395 posts

#marvel - 365 posts

#dsmp - 336 posts

#words - 236 posts

#lotr - 219 posts

#tiktok - 185 posts

#stranger things - 183 posts

#amazing art - 143 posts

#fic rec - 115 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#and the admin wouldn’t fucking switch them out of that class despite the toll it was taking on their mental health free time and other class

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

French Onion, Broccoli Cheddar, and Pho soup :)

French Onion - Who is your favorite author(s)?

there's honestly so many so i'm just gonna name a few:

@jackdaw-kraai with his wonderful Guides

@irndad and the tasm!peter fics

@yellow-feathered-faerie who i really must work on that Mandis fic with eventually

chancecraz on ao3 and their time travel star wars fics

and of course, you

Broccoli Cheddar - What was your inspiration for this wip

this is honestly an odd inspiration but i had an absolutely terrible math teacher last year who used to give the most difficult tests and during winter break, while i was cramming for the 3 tests we had in the three weeks after it, i convinced my mom to rewatch the hobbit with me, and a few days later, at like 1 in the morning, i just started typing up Transported and here we are

Pho - Describe your ideal writing set up

i think i'd have to say like music (probably The Amazing Devil because it makes my brain go brr) playing in the background, my laptop charged and not trying to burst into flames, discord open on the side to share snippets and just talk, and me actually having the time to sit down and write without any interruptions

13 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#4

Hello! If Lotr/The Hobbit requests are open, I hope it's alright that I request one ;-;

Could you please do something about a Reader who was Merry and Pippin's best friend when they were really little kids but they left Middle Earth somehow. But now that they're adults, she gets back to the Shire and now she's a kickass blacksmith who is still really witty and comforting with them and it's a really sweet and wholesome reunion? You can either do Polyamory or Merry x Reader if that's not your thing. I think Merry would be the most likely to get a crush on a human blacksmith reader with big muscles because he strikes me as the kinda guy who'd like Tomboys

I also have this hilarious idea of, since the Reader is human, Pippin finds out that she became an adult at 18 and he's so jealous because she's officially an adult and he's not lmao. Thanks so so much, I hope you're doing well hun! Keep being awesome!!

okay i finally finished it! this may have taken a slightly different route than you were expecting but i hope you like it regardless!

As I looked upon them for the first time in what seemed like a decade, our time spent together in my childhood and their tweens came rushing back, almost flashing before my eyes. The summers spent stealing from Old Farmer Maggot and hanging out at various hobbit parties that I clearly wasn’t invited to were reminiscent of a much different time.

It had been prior to I had been apprenticed to the only blacksmith near Hobbiton and Merry was forced off to visit some relatives or another for months on end, leaving us with no time to see each other, let alone act upon the last things that we said to each other. Although it sometimes seemed like it had been just yesterday when our relationship began to split from the almost something that it had become, but given the new signs of maturity on his face and the burn scars on my hands, it was clear it had been far longer than either of us expected.

Pippin stood next to his cousin, looking between the two of us as we refused to say anything while we took in the differences in each other’s appearance. I had certainly changed far more than Merry, given the fact that blacksmithing required a lot of strength, far more than I had had last time I had seen either of them. The buff female blacksmith had very little similarities to the teenage girl that had never worked a day in her life.

I suppose if I had known how much muscle I would have to build up to truly become good at making even the simple things that hobbits nearby required, I would have thought twice before deciding on this. But now wasn’t the time to rethink the decisions that I had made for my life. Now, I needed to figure out how to begin a conversation with a figure from my not too distant past.

“So,” I said, not entirely thinking through the rest of my sentence just yet. “Have fun with the Tooks?” Oh fuck that was terrible. I was a fool and I would never speak again.

“Yes.” Thank the Valar, he was just as awkward as I was. “And how is your apprenticeship going?”

I could almost see the wince as he finished speaking. We had to break this ridiculous tension somehow. There had to be some way to talk beyond just standing here awkwardly as Pippin looked on. “I kinda finished that a couple summers ago. My master passed on the shop to me once I was done and left to apparently go adventuring. Imagine a 60 year old man going across Arda in search of adventure. Although I suppose with Bilbo, you don’t really have to.”

He seemed more at ease with this topic, immediately replying, “I’m not convinced he truly went. The Mad Baggins was apparently quite tame before he left the Shire.”

“I don’t believe that. That pipeweed smoking hobbit would have jumped at the chance to do it. Although his stories did speak of some hesitation.”

“A Took could never pass up the chance,” interjected Pippin. “I guarantee that any one of our cousins would enjoy it.”

“But Bilbo isn’t a Took. He’s a Baggins. Baggins never do things like that,” stated Merry.

“I thought he was half Took. So there would have been an equal chance of doing it.” I took a breath before saying, “Either way, I assume you didn’t come here to discuss whether or not BIlbo actually bested Smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamities. What did you need?”

The sudden change in topic seemed to lower the energy in the room, but I could see Lobelia Sackville Baggins coming closer so I needed it to look like I was running a “proper establishment” before she decided to enter. This decision wasn’t driven by a sense of urgency, but rather an urge to escape a lecture before she hands me her frying pan to be fixed again after banging on Bilbo’s door again for an hour.

Pippin started, “Oh! I believe that—”

“Frodo asked us to stop by to inquire after a frying pan that was sent to be mended a few days ago. Would you perhaps have it currently ready?” That was oddly stiff in its phrasing. Did he think I was trying to get him out of the shop? Or did he know that Lobelia, the bane of my existence, was approaching?

“I think it’s back here somewhere. Although I think I need another day to fully work on it.” Okay, this was my chance. I could ask. After years of not seeing him, we could finally have a chance at what we had both wanted. “I needed to take a couple days off for my birthday a week ago and the new responsibilities that have been dumped on me have been ridiculous. They don’t tell you that when you legally become an adult, but anyways, I could meet up with you sometime tomorrow to drop it off. If you wanted to do so of course.”

“Sure, but—”

“You’re an adult?” Pippin asked. “But I’m older than you and I’m still a tween.”

“You’d hate being an adult. You have to do taxes and stuff and you can’t just spend the entire day hanging out with friends.”

“Yes, but it’s about the principle of the matter. I am 5 years older than you and yet I’m not even of age.”

“That’s your loss for being born a hobbit. I however can do adult things and buy a pint without my cousin chaperoning me.”

“Regardless,” Merry interjected. “I believe that I shall be free at around noon tomorrow, so would you like to meet under the party tree?”

“Uh, yes of course. I’ll have it done by tomorrow. As long as Lobelia doesn’t have anything new to bring me.”

“Good then. Well I suppose we shall continue this fruitful discussion tomorrow.” At Pippin’s newly open mouth, he continued, “Alone.”

“Yes. Now shoo. She’s coming in and I don’t want to have to pretend like I’m just a blacksmith in front of you too.”

“We will be back!”

See the full post

21 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

#3

i fucking watched the new doctor strange movie and i'm so close to just rambling about the bits of marvel that i hate and the reasons why

24 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

#2

Can I get “that dance, that they did today? it kinda reminded me of when we…” with a pairing of you choice 🥺?

Also makes sure to eat and drink water 🔫

okay so this ended up being a tasm!peter parker x gn!reader fic because i had an Idea so here. also it's kinda implied desi!reader, but it can really be read any way.

also you better do the same 🔫

the link to the dance which i mention is here

Finals were over. My bed was calling my name as I walked back from the horrid chem exam that had caused far too many all-nighteres in an attempt to memorize all of the ions and their charges as well as the formulas that we had learnt only a couple weeks ago.

But now, I could sleep for as long as I wanted until I had to start packing everything. Which was not until tomorrow because the dorms were supposed to be cleared out by next Friday. That left at least 18 hours that I could use to conk out if I wanted to wake up by about 9am tomorrow.

Unfortunately, or perhaps very fortunately, my plan was thrown away as soon as I saw Peter sitting on the stairs in front of the building, playing on his phone. “Did your ethics final finish up early? I thought you were supposed to be out by 4 at the earliest.”

“Kenobi cancelled it. Something about his nephew getting sick.”

“Well that leaves plenty of time for our must watch movie marathon we had planned a couple weeks ago.”

“Wasn’t that supposed to be during packing? So then if it gets far too cheesy, we could distract ourselves with loading up some of the boxes?”

“Yes, but I found out one of the ones I used to watch with my friends recently came back onto Netflix. And because I couldn’t find it literally anywhere else without having to pay an extravagant amount of money for one movie, we’re going to enjoy the experience of this movie without the need for literally anything else. Other than snacks.”

“Of course we would have snacks. Why was that ever in question?”

“With your appetite, it never should be.”

“Hey, you know that’s because of the spider bite.”

“Like you didn’t come over to my house and eat half of my snacks alongside your own when we were in middle school.”

“Well, sixth period P.E. for all three years causes a person to get a bit hungry after school.”

“And that doesn’t explain the time that we went to Build-A-Bear and you told me you wanted to eat a bear.”

“That was something I told you in confidence and something that I didn’t expect you to almost yell in front of your dorm.”

“Everyone deserves to know that you looked at a Gollum plushie and went, ‘That looks like it would be a good snack.’” “Were you like this before your chem final?” he asked. “Because I could have sworn the person I fell asleep next to was not out to kill me.”

“I was a different person then,” I stated while leading him into the building. “I cannot be expected to treat someone who decided to sit out here in 90 degree heat for 3 hours while I took my final nicely.”

He gasped dramatically, playing it up despite the fact that some of my neighbors were coming out to see what havoc we were causing today. “I have helped you study for countless tests and quizzes and even stayed up with you until 4am last night and this is how I am thanked? I shudder to call myself your boyfriend with such poor treatment.”

The Bridgerton marathon shortly before finals kicked into full swing seemed to have done something to him. But honestly, as long as we didn’t get another complaint regarding our arguments prior to the time that we made it upstairs, it would be fine. “And what do you say to the hours that I spent reviewing vocabulary with you for a final you didn’t even take?”

“I thought I had the final until I went to Kenobi’s room and saw the note posted on his door. And when I went to text you, I saw that your final had already started and decided against trying to distract you.”

“Well you should have distracted me anyways. Why wouldn’t I have wanted a text from you? After all, it wasn’t like that final was particularly important, I would have passed the class either way. Plus, you’re far more important than some stupid chem final that is only vaguely relevant to my degree.”

“I’m sure Windu would agree with that assessment.”

“Windu has a stick up his ass. Which I can finally say in front of other people because I’m finally out of that fucking class.” It still hadn’t entirely hit me that the school year was finally over, but the fact that I could hang out with Peter without needing to study or work on a project was beginning to cement it.

“True. I’m not looking forward to when I have to take him next year for organic.” He took a second before continuing, “Are we ever going to unlock your door or are you planning on watching it out here?”

“Right, that. I barely even noticed that we were here.” Which was surprising, however, this could easily be blamed on the sleep deprivation and the Peter’s distracting presence.

See the full post

27 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

so why is my heart broke?

tasm!peter parker x reader

warnings: angst, cursing (as always), and i think that's it

summary: you almost got hurt because of a fight between Spider-Man and the villain of the week. now Peter's trying to stop it from happening again

“I’m breaking up with you.”

“What?”

“I can’t keep putting you in danger like this,” Peter said.

“That doesn’t mean you break up with me, you dumbass.” You took a look at his face before continuing. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“Of course, I’m serious. I can’t see you get hurt again and again because I’m Spider-Man.”

“I get hurt once because I was somewhere the fight got to, and somehow this is what it results in? No, Peter, I refuse.”

“You can’t refuse,” he states, albeit with some confusion. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Peter Motherfucker Parker, I refuse to let you break up with me.”

“I refuse to let you refuse to let me break up with you.”

“I wasn’t even involved in the fight before the villain of the week fucking crashed into the cafe I was picking up coffee from. How could this have resulted from you being Spider-Man? If anyone else was fighting them, the same thing would have happened.”

“Everyone who I have loved while being Spider-Man has been hurt by this, and I refuse to let you be a victim of the Parker curse.”

“I will stay right here beside you to show you that there is no such thing. There is simply the fact that I love you Peter Parker, and I will not leave your side.”

“And it is because of that that I can’t let you stay. I can’t see you get hurt.”

“Well this is hurting me. I’m in love with you and you just want me to leave? I can’t Peter. I can’t see you getting banged up on TV and know that I can’t do anything to help. I can’t leave you.”

“But you should.”

“When has that ever decided what I was going to do? What we were going to do? Fuck what I should do,” I exclaimed.

“I can’t lose you. No matter how much this would hurt both of us, it would never compare to the pain of losing you.”

“And the same applies to you. Do you think I would be okay knowing that you had, that you had died out there, fighting an alien or some shit? I can barely handle the idea of breaking up with you and yet you want me to live knowing that you are out there risking your life every day without anyone on your side? No one there to patch you up when you get hurt? No one who knows what you’re going through every time you show up with bruises and cuts?”

“And what would happen to me if you weren’t there because of me? Because I can’t live without knowing that you were safe. No matter how difficult it is to leave you, there’s no option here where you’re safe. There’s never been one as soon as you chose me.”

“And I’m going to keep choosing you. I am always going to choose you, Peter. Despite all the dangers and slightly insane ideas, I love you.”

That seemed to cause the last remaining bits of fight left in him to dissipate. “I love you too. Despite your stubbornness.”

“Hey, I think that it’s warranted right now. You were about to lose the best thing in your life because you got scared of something that wasn’t your fault. Someone had to do something about it,” You retorted.

“I’m glad someone did.”

108 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[b0mblover]

jeeze

(im gonna ramble abt hawaii part ii loptson)

hhgghh originally i had planned it to only take amybe a month or two but now im starting to rethink it bc i just /cant/

ive uh, mentally been going back and fourth with my emotions, and uh honestly, my mental health has been kinda poor lately so if i keep trying to do this when i dont have any real soild idea (as usual) its only gonna make me worse off,

i cant really say how i want this irl time wise to go (months etc) bc well, my drawing isnt really consistent, but as of right now im thinking around 1-2 a month?

tho yk, i could wake up tmrw and have all the motivation in the world or absolutely none!

i still really fucking am having brainrot abt it and i dont /plan/ on abandoning the idea (tho yk how that goes) but i also really dont wanna get burntout,

(as of posting) i actually have a good bit to do irl, collage shit, i have to choose new classes today, i have to get my school portfolio done, i have to get my art portfolio done (which is purely me with no help, its gonna suck) i really cant give off alot of info esp on public but its more than likely by 11:30 am today my father is gonna be out of a job, I STILL NEED TO BRUSH MY DAMN TEETH 😭😭 how have i forgotten its almost 10-

i dont wanna put art on the backburner for multiple reasons but uh, ill probably have to slow up my pace at least for a little bit,

on a slightly different note;

i just cannot figure out what to draw ;-;

i really was having alot of fun with the hand tef sheet tbh but uh, yk, i actually like doing more than that (it bothers me if i dont draw something “proper”) i uh know im not really a background artist in the slightest but i had an idea and i might just go with it for the time being, or something? hhhhh i dont really know

ig i shouldnt force it, it doesnt ever work out when i do anyways

hhgh sorry not sorry for the ramble, this just wouldve made no sense on my main

[rededgerp]

Congratulations Tina! You've been accepted as your first choice of Thomas Doherty (Greyson Mendes)! Please send in the account within the next 24 hours!

✖ ABOUT YOU

↳ Name: Tina

↳ Pronouns: She / her

↳ Age: 29

↳ Activity: I will be on every day or every second day (that's only if I am working 3 days in the row).

✖ ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER

↳ Celebrity Desired: Thomas Doherty

↳ Second Celebrity: Hero Fiennes or Noah Centineo.

↳ Character Name: Greyson Mendes

↳ Character’s Pronouns: He / him

↳ Occupation: Tattoo artist

↳ Birthday: 2nd of December

↳ Background: Greyson was born in Barcelona and lived there for a few years. Then his parents decided to move to England, where Grey was actually growing up. He liked to live there, despite of the weather, at least when he was younger. He was good in school even tho he wasn't really ambitious. Grey was showing his perfecionism even when he was a teenger. He was very talented for the arts and music, so he always knew he will do something close to that.

When he was in school, he used to go to the classes of singing and he knows how to play piano and guitar. Although Grey liked the music and playing the instruments, it was more of his mother wish then his own. His mum was always dreaming about being a famous singer or pianist, which wasn't Greyson's dream at all. He was still attending the classes and played in the school as well as long as it will make his mum happy.

Greyson really grew up being very close to both of his parents, as well as his brother Lucius and sister Norah. His childhood and school days were more than happy and he couldn't ever ask for more. Despite of that, Grey did have drug problem as well as alcohol problem. It happened because of people who were hanging out with him and he just didn't want to be different. That really disappoint his parents in a way, although they are still there for him.

He never went to rehab, but he stopped it as it wasn't doing any good for him. Then he decided to attend the classes to become a professional tattoo artist. As he was very talented in arts, he found it very easy and he loves to do tattoos. His mum thought he would go on a music path, but Greyson really thought this is the best decision for him.

He moved to California 5 years ago, together with his brother and sister. He is now planning to open his own tattoo shop and live his life to a fullest. The job is going great, but his love life is a kind of a mess. Before he moved, he was in a long relationship with a guy who hurt him a lot. That is why Grey doesn't want to get involved with anyone, unless it is a friendship.

↳ Para:

“Are you ready?” Still half asleep, Grey could hear the voice of his sister in front of his door. Sometimes he wished she wouldn't be awake so early. Although he loved her to bits, she would drive him mental some of the days. Taking a look on his phone, he could saw it was only 6 am.

“Ready for what? It is like 6 am.” He mumbled to her, as loud as he possibly could. Her laughter was loud enough, even if he was asleep it would surely wake him up. He knew this was a big step tho. Every part of him was telling him he is being only a coward. That didn't matter really - what other choice did he have? He suffered enough anyway.

“You know it's a go time! Come on, hurry up.” She answered to him with happy voice, which almost made him forgot how miserable he actually was. Maybe this would be a good change. If not good, it's definitely a necessary one..

↳ Anything Else? If you wish to ship anyone with Grey straight away, feel free to message me. :)

[2-cute-4-school]

𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚖𝚜

requested by anonie:  hi if you’re taking requests could you do an NCT Dream reaction to you crying while studying for exams because you’re stressed? thank you !

Mark Lee

my boi understands the STRESS

he debuted like 6 times and he has more comebacks and schedules than he can count bby is so overworked sometimes  °(ಗдಗ。)

i think you’re probably each other’s safe places

whenever mark catches sight of you he just buries himself in your arms and all his stress and worries melt away as he breathes in your familiar scent (.づ◡﹏◡)づ.

your hugs? his best medicine

so when he finds you trying to muffle your cries in your hands, hunched over open textbooks, a mess of pens and littered papers around you

his heart breaks just a lil (*>_<*)

why didn’t you come to him?? or at least call him??? don’t you trust him?? is he part of the reason of your tears???? what if-

“mark?” ༶ඬ༝ඬ༶

but as your meek voice calls for him he decides that questions can wait

you are his one and only priority

he dashes to your side and engulfs you in his arms─=≡Σ(づ￣ ³￣)づ

“it’s okay baby, you’ll be fine, i’m here, i’m with you”

you just hide your face in his chest and allow yourself to break into sobs that wrench mark’s poor lil heart while mark caresses your back and head

“just let it all out baby, i’m right here, i’ll always be here”(๑´•д • `๑)

he keeps murmuring comforting words as you slowly run out of tears

once you calm down enough to explain the reason of your breakdown to him, he just presses a kiss to your forehead ლ(´﹏`ლ)

“how about you take a rest for tonight and we’ll talk tomorrow and i’ll find a way to help you through this, hm? does that sound good?”

you make him promise he’ll stay with you for this night he has no objections (ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

he ends up playing his guitar for you with your head on his lap asfdsfksf until you fall asleep and then spoons you after tucking you in

his softness for you doesn’t prevent him from having a serious discussion with you to make sure you know you can always come to him for anything and then ends up helping you study might end up asking for help as well _(T-T*)

Huang Renjun

this boi seems really chill while at home

so i’d say that he mostly minds his business if you’re busy with school work like he’s probably in a corner painting or sumthin’ the lil artsy fairy that he is (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

he does check up on you from time to time to make sure that you’re... you know... alive and breathing?? lol fun times huh

but still, silent comfort IS your love language ∩(︶▽︶)∩

so he kinda assumes that you ALREADY know he’s there for you at any time anywhere in any way you may ever need him

so when he hears a muffled sob from behind the door you’re studying in?

his heart BREAKS ꒰๑˃͈꒳˂͈๑꒱ﾉ*ﾞ̥

but he also doesn’t want to stress you out even more or scare you so he slowly enters the room to find you hunched over your desk

he hesitates for a moment as his chest just clenches in hurt while he watches your shoulders shake with muffled whimpers ˓˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎)

so he walks up to you and lays a gentle hand on your shoulder

he waited for a moment to make sure that you’re comfortable with his presence in such vulnerable moments

and the he just ENGULFS you in a firm embrace and you FINALLY get the chance to ground yourself as you let out all of the pent up frustration in the arms of the person you trust the most (๑◕︵◕๑)

he just pats your head and you bury your face in his chest and you just ✨melt✨ into each other

i don’t think he’d say much tbh (´°ω°`)

there’s a silent mutual understanding that all you need right now is someone- him to lean on when you’re too tired to hold yourself upright

as you start calming down he presses a kiss to your head before speaking softly but firmly

“you’re taking a break, come on let’s eat and then we can have a lazy evening for once” ε-(‘ﾍ´○)┓

“but-”

“oh we can finally try out the fluffy blanket we bought together last week”

he AIN’T TAKING NO FOR ANSWER!!! (￣ω￣)

you spend the evening wrapped up in each other under your blanket with a forgotten movie playing in the background while renjun hums a lullaby’s tune in your ear

Lee Jeno

he has a sixth sense for you

you can’t get away WITH ANYTHING ¯\_༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽_/¯

you stub a toe: aw frick-

jeno, thousands of km away in the middle of rolling his hips into another dimension during practice: something’s wrong ಠ_ಠ

so i think he might notice even before you that you’re kinda breaching your limit

but ba(r)bie isn’t sure how to approach you without offending you since you’re kinda irritable because of the stress ofc he doesn’t blame you

so if he fails to stop you before your breakdown he’s gonna blame himself for sure tho so make sure to reassure him once you’re stable he’s gonna keep a VERY watchful eye over you ( ◉  〜 ◉ ) 

he’s 100% READY to be there for you!!!!!

he has fluffy blankets, your favourite sweets and snacks, your preferred take out place on speed dial in case you’re hungry AND your comfort show prepared  (•̀o•́)ง

what he isn’t prepared tho?

his OWN heart cracking at the sight of your pain and exhaustion (ಗдಗ) 

he LITERALLY CAN’T stop the small whine building up in his chest as he strides over to your side for support

so when you wrap yourself around him like a lil koala, trembling in his hold and muttering through tears that it’s just too much-

his ULTIMATE protectiveness kicks in FULL MODE (ಢ⊱ಢ ｡)

he just scoops you up and burrito wraps you into the gigantic mound of blankets already prepared for you while pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead i promised i’d make it his trademark so here ;)

he *dashes* to bring over all of the snacks AND is already on the phone if you decided you wanted something to eat

basically bf jeno didn’t come to play ║ * ರ Ĺ̯ ರ * ║

spends the rest of the night literally PAMPERING you in anything you need

and most importantly... LOTS OF KITHES AND CUDDLES!!!!( *¯ ³¯*)♡

his baby deserves a chill and lovely night and he’s gonna provide exactly that and the absolute best for you :<

also jeno will gather all of his remaining braincells to help you the next of the day he really seems a smart kid in my opinion

Lee Donghyuck

hyuck is a LOVELY person don’t get me wrong (๑♡⌓♡๑)

but he’s also a tease so he might unintentionally push you to your limits with a few remarks

poor babe really didn’t realize you were going through it

so just imagine his panic once you just burst into tears after what should have been a harmless teasing from him (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

“ba-babe? what happened, did i go too far?? i’m so sorry my love, i just-”

he keeps on rambling and you just cry even harder cuz come on hyuck is just such a thoughtful boyfriend

“i’m really sorry y/n, please don’t cry, i’ll do ANYTHING-” ٩(´Д` ;)۶

you try to explain to him that he’s not at fault for your breakdown

obviously it’s not really comprehensible but it’s enough for hyuck to understand once he hears the words ‘stress’ and ‘exhausted’

he simply embraces you as tight as he can and reassures you that humans have their own limits (っ⇀⑃↼)っ

and that taking a break doesn’t invalidate your hard work and dedication

he understands how overworking can affect a person so he knows how to handle the situation

he proposes taking a hot bath once you’ve calmed down and he adds extra bubbles and a really nice smelling body wash (╯✧∇✧)╯

and after that- YOU’RE ON BED REST!! no excuses

if you protest? you wouldn’t dare

stops you with kisses all over your face before fully shutting you up with a soft but firm kiss on your lips o┤*｀3´*├o

you spend the entire rest of the day restrained in his hugs

you really scared him so he became a lil lot clingy 

need to go to the bathroom? he INSISTS to piggyback you there since ‘you need all the rest you can possibly get’ (∪｡∪)｡｡｡

but i reckon you can’t complain since you have the chance to spend some quality time with your also busy boyfriend

my boy will also go to the ends of the world in order to help you the next day to study whether that means burning his own brain or gathering half of nct and his manager to get everything done in time (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

Na Jaemin

it’s literally NO SURPRISE when i say that he’s PROTECTIVEx1000000 of his loved ones (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

so why would you even bother to hide anything from him??

it’s LITERALLY no use

he’s a very very doting person and he keeps tabs on you no matter what, sometimes even uncounciously

and if he’s not there physically? NO PROBLEM!!

texts and calls between he two of you are a very common occurence bubs just wants to make sure you’re well and happy (˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

so unless you’re a top class at acting, good luck in trying to play off your stress and tiredness

but let’s say that due to busy schedules and different timetables it somehow gets past him

babe will be so heartbroken (๑´•д • `๑)

his worry topples over as he freezes in your doorway for a moment at the sight of your defeated form and tear-stained papers

BUT he does a good job in keeping his composure because he can’t risk letting his emotions get the best of him when you need him ( •̀ω•́ )

so he just trudges up to you and SMOTHERS you in the tightest hug possible, tucking your head in his shoulder so you could cry freely hidden away from the rest of the world

he coos a few words here and there, encouragements, compliments, reassurement that ‘you’re more than enough, you just need to take a moment to relax and breathe’ ✧˖°ˈ·*ε-(๑˃́ε˂̀๑ )

otherwise, he’ll leave the talk for the next day when you’re rested both physically AND mentally 

after you calm down he helps you put away all your school work you wouldn’t dare oppose him on this for the rest of the day

we all know what’s coming up i’m sorry

COMFORT FOOD!!!! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

he seats you on a kitchen stool while he cooks whatever you need at the moment, anything his baby wants

honestly he just adapts to whatever you need atm

cuddles in silence? works for him!! wanna ramble? there to listen!! want netflix and chill??? absolutely!!!!

Zhong Chenle

sooo from what i’ve gathered he’s not exactly emotional???

but also have you seen this absolute cutie when jisung was crying at the dream show?? babe was trying so hard to comfort his bff but he also seemed uh.. a bit awkward a bit? in a cute way tho!! (๑⁍᷄౪⁍᷅๑)

but i do think he’ll falter once he catches sight of your state!!!!

so many mental debates too!! (๑′°︿°๑)

‘they’re hunched over, did they fall asleep? wait shaking?? is it cold in here????... fuck no was that a sob?? do i... do i go over to comfort them? but how like do i hug or do i talk or..? what if they break up with me??? shit what have i done recently?? i washed the dishes, i cleaned the dog poop, i took out the trash.. it can’t be this’

my boy is going through THE CRISIS OF HIS LIFE (≖ლ≖๑ )

so he reluctantly walks up to you determined to help

but when he reaches you? *brain fart*

ends up patting your head and rubbing your back, but his touch manages to ground you without overwhelming you even further (っ⇀⑃↼)っ

if you end up pulling him into a hug tho, he won’t hesitate to hold you

while comforting you he finally notices your open notebooks filled with messy writing

he feels weirdly relieved that you’re not breaking up with him and neither is it something *tragic*  •(◐﹏◐)•

he’ll let you cry it out before he asks if you’d like some help with your school work he asked fans to send their maths homework so he must be a nerd enough to be able to help you too

but you’re probably too drained（×ω×）  to do anything so you two just settle for a cuddle session under a mountain of blankets

and daegal therapy!!!!!Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ who probably loves you more than chenle and he ends up whining jokingly about it

chenle will probably focus on lifting up your mood with jokes and stories and he’d do anything to cheer you up

he might try to spoil you too 

and he’s not letting you refuse the ton of food he orders since ‘you deserve to fill up your batteries’ ~~旦_(-ω-｀｡)

i’m sorry for your tummies after the ammount of sweets you shared

Park Jisung

ah nct’s certified crybaby(lovingly)

might just start crying with you because if you cry he cries too 

i honestly see him a bit panicky in a delicate situation like this once where he has to deal with *emotions* (｡´>д<)っ彡☆

so he watches from a safe distance at first

literally jisung.exe has shut down

but then poor kid starts feeling guilty about just watching you suffer without helping and comforting you but he’s kinda scared that he’s only gonna make it worse (●’Д’●)

‘come on park jisung think!!! what would-... what WOULD JAEMIN DO!!’

*cue lighbulb going off above his head*

cue calling jaemin and getting scolded for being on the phone with him instead of being by your side but still giving his precious baby advice

jisung probably comes up with a speech before approaching you he’s nervous okay? ┌༼ σ ‸ σ ༽┐

he lays a hand on your head, gently caressing you and just as he takes a breath to start his speech, you just look up to him with THE kicked puppy eyes ༼ つ ◕ ‸ ◕ ༽つ and jisung is A GONER꒰ლ✘ㅿ✘ლ꒱ 

he MELTS into a puddle of uwus and just leans into you, opting for silent comfort and that’s how he found out that cuddles>>>>>>words

he kinda babbles a little while holding you words are hard ya know

he kinda rambles after you calm down too so now you have to calm him down you’re both messes but you’re cute so

so what is the most efficient way to shut him up? peck his lips!!!!

and as he melts into your hold he remembers that ‘wait!! i’m the one supposed to comfort them!!!!’ (•̀o•́)ง

so he throws his nerves out the window for a moment and just cups his entire world your face in his hands and pecks your all over your face

you end up watching some compilations with kitties or something on both your phones untill your batteries die so then you switch to another device gen z behaviour 

he also probably gets a call from jaemin too and you figure out that your puss of a boyfriend had to call his friend in order to help you

so you give him that look <(｀^´)>

let’s say he’s taking you out for brunch the next day AND helping you with your school work 

[kisafavi-17]

Jack:

- football star

- quarterback

- friends with newsies in middle school

- HELLA TALL

- openly bisexual

- he/him

- seems scary but is really nice

- had a small fling with sarah

- RED BULLLL

- average student

- creator of blog

- junior in high school

- just turned 17 in february

- teachers love him

- massive flirt

- loves horror movies and will put them on to have background noise

- HIS REAL NAME IS JACKSON BUT CALL HIM THAT AND HE WILL END YOU

- lives with medda

David:

- straight A+

- honor roll gate kid

- taking 5 AP classes

- gay and on the ace spectrum

- major social anxiety

- new kid

- met jack first

- closeted/didn’t know

- tutor to most newsies

- has a older sister sarah (by 1 year) and younger brother les (10 years old)

- he/they?

- editor of the blog (once joined)

- mentally ill

- scared of spot

- sophomore taking junior classes

- 15 years

- reads romantic novels to understand women

- has feminine products on him at all times

- FEMINIST

- has sensory issues

Race:

- pothead

- always has nic of some kind

- TRAUMAAAAAA

- always horny

- flirts with all

- attracted to few

- very openly gay

- gets bullied a lot

- on-scene reporter for the school news blog

- barely passing

- he/they/she (doesn’t care really)

- swears A LOT

- met spot in 4th grade

- sophomore (got held back a year) 16 years old

- is down for anything

- lives with jack at medda’s

- is the meme lord

- does. not. sleep. (or sleeps all the time no in between)

- has dyslexia and reads wattpad or redit

Spot:

- either really rich or really poor

* Rich:

- daddy’s money

- old family friends with jack

- arranges interviews with people for the blog

- on baseball team

- picks on boys

- REFUSES TO MAKE FUN OF GIRLS

- lowkey feminist

- internalized homophobia

- drives a porsche… a BRIGHT RED porsche

- he/him (says nor/mal like a douche tho)

- HELLA DEPRESSED

- takes “performance enhancing” pills

- secretly hangs out with the newsies

- junior but really young

- david is his tutor

- lowkey really dumb

- refuses to read anything. ever

- IS NOT FUCKING SHORT!!!

- he’s like 5’10 (says hes 6’0 tho)

- real name is thomas

* Poor:

- TRAUMATIZED AFFFFF

- wears zip-up hoodies with black skinny jeans

- beat up black vans

- emo

- also a really young junior

- hot topic is his ✨home✨

- everyone is scared of him

- the “quiet kid”

- he/him

- closeted bi pref men

- race is his only friend

- occasionally smokes weed

- oldest sibling of 3 (twins one of each. 5th grade)

- has a job no one knows about

- works as a waiter at a dinner an hour from school

- IS. NOT. SHORT.

- HE. IS. LIKE. 5’11.

- gets into fights and never looses

- secretly simping for race

- protects the newsies

- writes anonymous articles for blog

- ✨black eyeliner✨

- always has painted fingernails

- B+ average

- real name is sean

Sarah:

- book worm

- LESBIAN

- she/they

- loves the book worms

- reads anything and everything

- does photography for school blog

- definitely does theater/choir

- owns wattpad

- writes on wattpad

- definitely simping for fictional characters

- has tried a vape once

- lightweight

- tall

- like 5’8.5

- mamma mia fangirl

- loves DC movies

- has every girl/boy crushing over her

- therapist friend

- always has everything you need somehow

- met jack at a party

- doesn’t allow ANYONE to pick on david along with jack

- cottage gore ascetic

- loves disney

- drives a blue subaru

- is on the high school dance team

- hates the term “UwU”

- is a 16 year old junior

Blink:

- on football team

- still has eyepatch but no one cares

- gayyyy

- dating mush

- PDA

- funny af

- is a really old sophomore

- 16 years old (a january baby)

- camera man for race for blog

- besties are bumlets, mush, and jack

- only one without family trauma

- has twin sister

- has the funniest laugh ever

- volunteers at homeless shelters

- cinnamon roll🥺

- real name is dylan

- hornyyyyy

- has smexy pics on snap

- harry potter fan

- griffindor

- TWITTER WARS

- starts beef for no reason

- watches horror to freak mush out

- it works

Mush:

- hates horror movies

- is dating blink

- is on the wrestling and dance team

- people tease him for being on the dance team

- 15 year olds sophomore

- wants to be a veterinarian

- owns a chicken for some reason

- no one knows how he got a chicken

- chickens name is Kentucky (hehe)

- is a cinnamon roll 🥺

- body dysmorphia

- has eating disorder

- nicknamed sunshine (brought to you by blink)

- has braces

- has mainly girl friends and everyone thinks he’s dating them

- he/him

- pansexual

- civil rights activist

- hates when blink gets hurt

- is a crackhead some times

- is a vegetarian

- works lighting for blog interviews and reports

- PDA is not his thing but he doesn’t mind it

- BOTTOM WHO LOOKS LIKE A TOP

- people think he’s a crybaby when in reality, he rarely cries

- loves disneyland and disney in general

- friends with everyone

- is the matchmaker

- cuddle bug with blink

- mostly C’s and B’s on his report card

- real name is aaron (hehe)

- is a romantic so… mush

Bumlets:

- emo vibes

- on dance team

- is secretly good at soccer

- gamer boi

- has only been in one long term relationship

- is broken hearted

- keeps to himself

- they/he

- pansexual

- had a crush on blink for a bit

- has crushed on every newsie at least once

- is pretty chill

- 15 year old sophomore

- currently single

- taking AP classes with david

- is like really smart

- reads AO3

- doesn’t like wattpad

- plays CoD and halo

- rages when he games

- LOVES GRILLED CHEESE

- scary dog privilege (owns a pit bull)

- pit bulls name is kiara

- knows how to ballroom dance

- romantic boi

- doesn’t open up easily

- knows how mush got his chicken

- friends with poor spot

- is a writer for blog because he can actually spell

- real name is lucas

- has depression hence “bumlets”

- surprisingly really strong

- ✨flexible✨

Skittery:

- one of the oldest newsies (terms of joining)

- only talks to bumlets and jack

- doesn’t like david to much

- has a RBF

- is 16 (turns 17 in august)

- is a junior

- smokes cigarettes

- doesn’t have social media

- is on the varsity water polo team

- ✨rings galore✨

- tries to be cool

- has 2 cats

- cats are cheesy and monica

- has an older brother in college

- works at 7 11

- is not looking for a relationship

- he/him

- straight ally

- tried being gay but didn’t work out

- drinks white wine

- always stressed

- decent student

- A- average

- friends with all the coaches

- headphones are his lifesaver

- is a very numb human

- always has cold skin for some reason

- even in like 100 degree weather he is still cold to the touch

- had facebook then deleted it because hack found his account and spammed it

- historical fiction type of dude

- is the one who finds all of the info to give to writers/reporters for blog

- loves bumlets dog

- drives a toyota prius

- real name is jefferson

- no one but jack knows how he got the name skittery

Crutchie:

- was in a car accident

- real name is charles

- has social anxiety and dyslexia

- should get picked on but jack doesn’t let that happen

- soft boi

- technically isn’t a newsie but shows up to the meetings

- is a emotional support teddy bear

- is the assistant director for the school plays

- best friends are jack, sarah, and mush

- only has instagram

- terrified of heights

- occasionally sleeps over at meddas

- adults love this child

- they/them

- gay

- loves disney

- knows the entire hunchback of notre dame movie by heart

- is 14 years old

- freshman. the only freshman newsie

- child of the group

- goes to all of his friends game or competitions to cheer them on

- is really short

- like REALLY SHORT

- says “rawr” a lot

Medda:

- jack and races mother

- (A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS WITH GENTLE HANDS AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTERRRR IMMA SURVIVOR)

- is a voice actress

- has been in disney films

- “if you’re going to drink id rather you do it in the house” mentality

- hates the idea of nicotine

- on the PTA

- has annual passes to disneyland

- loves all the newsies

- wants to adopt poor spot

- is in her late 30s to early 40s

- she/her

- straight… kind of

- she says she’s straight but by definition she’s pan

- civil rights activist

- has an ACAB sticker on her car

- PRIDE FLAGS EVERYWHERE

- if the sexuality/gender exists in the lgbtq+ community, she has their flag

- likes gardening

- will never use the wrong pronouns

- doesn’t really eat at chain restaurants

- not afraid to kill someone who hurts one of the newsies

- i’m serious

- she’s tried

- ….

Les:

- in 5th grade; 10

- friends with poor spots siblings

- is friends with the newsies

- loves medda

- is like another crutchie without the trauma/depression/anxiety/etc.

- asks david if him and jack are dating

- he knew david was 💅 before david did

- loves it when one or all of the newsies picks him up from school

- everyone loves him

- got picked on for having a “looser brother”

- spot (both poor and rich) picked him up one time with david. said “if you have a problem with les, you got a problem with me!”

- les was never bothered again

- gets lifted onto the guy’s shoulders all the fricking time

- loves feeling tall

- wants to play football like jack

- is very smart

- is ridiculously fast

- he has the fastest mile time in the whole grade

- teachers pet

- doesn’t have many friends his age

- brags about the newsies to his classmates

[star-lemonade]

Private Video (1/2)

A.C.E Donghun x Reader

Cw: smut, asmr

Rating: R

Word count: 3.2k

Not betaed. thanks to @silent5tar for reading it ahead of release <3

“I heard your channel is doing well.”

Sujin smiled over the edge of her mug. She had never really understood the appeal of ASMR, but she still supported your endeavors.

“Yes, it is. Next month I will invite you to dinner.”

“Oh, so you really make some money?”

Sujin raised one eyebrow. A look that fit her face well. Even in situations like this her words never came out accusatory.

“Not really, but I can take my best friend out for dinner anyways.”

She smiled as the waitress came with your cakes. No, the youtube channel did not really make money, if you consider the cost of the microphone and filming equipment but it was a good pass time. The feedback from people in the comments felt good too.

“Ah! I remembered something.”

Sujin leaned forward as if people in the cafe would pay attention to your conversation. Of course no one was looking at you.

“Do you remember Donghun?”

Yes, you did remember him. Donghun was Sujin’s ex-boyfriend’s friend. Well, friend is maybe said too much. They had attended some of the same classes and Donghun had hung out with him, and by extension you, sometimes.

“I do. What’s with him?”

“He asked for your number.”

That was surprising. You had talked a few times but mostly you had been there for Sujin, to spend time with her. Why did he want your number now?

“Okay. Why tho?”

She shrugged. At least she had not just given out your number to anyone who asked. A bit more information would have been though.

“No idea.”

You thought about it. Technically you knew him so it was not like you would give your number to a stranger and if you did not like where the conversation was going you could still block him.

“Okay, give him my number then.”

A few days later Donghun asked you to meet him for coffee. The place was in a particularly hip part of town. Every coffee shop here was the picturesque backdrop for some influencer’s instagram post.

You entered the shop and looked around. Donghun was nowhere to be seen. You got yourself a coffee and sat down. The place was cozy with its assorted armchairs and low tables. It would be perfect to come here and read a book. It was not too loud either at the moment at least. You sank into the soft cushions. The armchair felt like a lot of people had previously sat in it. The seat had sunken in the middle but it was still okay. A shadow appeared in your periphery.

“Hi, how have you been?”

A soft voice asked from the side and you jerked up. Donghun had arrived. His dark brown hair fell into his eyes as he smiled, looking down at you. He took off his jacket and hung it over the armchair opposite you. The jeans and plain black sweater looked stylish on him.

“I’m good thanks for asking.”

“Good to hear. I will just get a coffee too.”

He joined the queue for the counter. The coffee shop was not very full at the moment, most people just got a drink to go and left again. Donghun looked different from the last time you had seen him. His hair was longer and dyed a warm shade of brown. The small piercing in the side of his nose was new too. It gave him an even more soft, pretty feeling. He looked like one of those instagram influencers that you followed for their cozy aesthetics and beautiful faces. You wondered if he had a public instagram account and if yes, how many followers did he have. I would follow him. You made a mental note to look for his account later.

He returned with a mug of coffee and sank into the soft armchair.

“So, why did you want to meet me?”

“Ah, yes it’s been a while.”

He looked down at his mug that he held in his hands. Several delicate metal rings decorated his fingers. You could also see a bracelet peek from under his sleeves.

“I have seen your videos and I love your channel.”

“Oh, so you are a fan.”

Your tone was teasing and Donghun smiled.

“I guess so.”

Not a lot of people you knew had much interest in what you did on your channel. Most had never even seen an ASMR video. Sujin had watched some when you started but it was not something that she needed in her life.

“What are your favorite videos then?”

Let’s see if he really watched them or not. You had not done that many videos over the past year or so, maybe 30 videos, but you had enjoyed making them. He leaned forward a bit as he spoke.

“I really liked the one with the lid sounds. Those containers from lush sound really good.”

You nodded.

“Oh and the long one. I listen to it while working.”

Ah yes. The long one. The 3 hour monstrosity had taken forever to edit together. You had made some mistakes and it delayed the whole schedule you had set for yourself. It felt good to hear that your work was appreciated.

“There is actually something I wanted to ask.”

He leaned forward and met your eyes.

“I would love to try it too. Recording a video I mean. Would that be okay with you? Maybe you can publish it, if it’s good?”

So this was his ulterior motive. It made sense. The equipment was pretty pricey so, if you do not know, whether or not you really like recording, it would be better to try first with someone else’s microphones.There was no harm in letting him play around. You seized him up. Donghun would look good on camera, you were sure of that. Personally you only showed your face very few times. It was enough to have good sound and nice close ups of the objects. One thing about him stood up to you the most.

“I think I have an idea for your video already.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, how is next Saturday for you?”

You set up your filming equipment in the small living room. Well, more like the room had become a set and had ceased to be a living room. You had built a soundproof box out of plywood and sound absorbing foam. While it was technically removable, most days you just let it stand there. It was simply too bothersome to move it elsewhere.

Donghun arrived on time. He rang the bell and you let him in. Just as you had told him, he wore an off white sweater. There were some colors that had to be avoided when filming videos, because they did not look as good on camera. The background in the sound proof box was black so this would make him stand out.

“Hi, can I offer you something to drink?”

“A cup of tea, if you have it.”

While you made tea for both of you, Donghun inspected the set. A chair was surrounded by three walls of sound foam. The camera and the microphone were plugged in to your computer and ready to go.

“Here.”

“Thanks.”

He sat down on the chair as there was no other place for him to sit that was not the floor. He blew on his tea.

“So, what have you planned for me.”

“Have you ever seen a hand sounds video?”

These kinds of ASMR videos featured a person rubbing their hand together in different ways. You enjoyed listening to them a lot and while you would have loved to make one yourself, the thought of having people look at you hands that closely made you uncomfortable. Okay, maybe they were doing that already but it would be even more intense.

“Oh. Yes, I have. You think I will be good at that?”

“You have nice hands, so…”

Now that you had said that out loud it seemed a bit odd. As if this was something inappropriate. It implied that you had looked at him. He held up his hands and inspected them. Pretend like that wasn’t awkward. He nodded.

“So, when do we start?”

You closed the blinds on the windows and began to adjust the lighting. Donghun looked really good. His skin had a healthy tone and the long hair, freshly washed, shone in the lights. He had rolled up his sleeves, but you wondered if taking the sweater off would be better.

You gave him a monitor - some earbuds - so he could hear himself while recording. He started to test the microphone and looked surprised at the sound. You could not hear the sound of the microphone but it was okay. You would watch the recording a bit later. Donghun rubbed his fingers together and experimented with speeds. His hands were graceful and you could not help yourself but stare. Even if it was disguised as monitoring the recording.

“Can you come over I wanna try something”

You walked over to him, wondering what it was. He took your hand and pushed the sleeve of your shirt up. While close to the microphone, he ran his palm over your arm. A shiver ran down your spine. His hands were a bit more on the soft side and the way he rubbed your arm, even if unintended, put you on edge. It had been some time since you had had a partner and this felt almost too intimate.

Thankfully Donghun did not notice the effect he had on you because he was focused on the sound only he could hear. You controlled your breathing as it would be audible on the recording. Please stop being so handsome. The faint smell of shampoo and freshly washed clothes tickled your nose. It made your stomach drop.

Okay, but is it possible that I am developing a crush on Donghun right now? That was totally possible. You had always found him kind of attractive, but you had never spent that much time together.

“Are you okay?”

His voice was soft, only audible because it was so quiet. It brought you back to the present.

“Yes...yes! Sorry I…”

You cut yourself off. Don’t mumble. His fingers pressed lightly against the palm of your hand. Almost like holding hands but not quite. He got up, not letting go.

“Can we take a break?”

“Sure.”

You were very aware how close he was and of his fingers gently holding your hand. His eyes were a warm shade of brown that reminded you of chocolate.

“Let’s go then.”

A trip to the coffee place around the corner gave you a bit of time to sort your thoughts. Maybe you should ask Donghun if he was looking for a girlfriend. If he was, you could ask him out. There was no point in denying you felt something for him. Now, the only question that remained was, how could you ask subtly about his relationship status. You could not bring yourself to just ask. What if you made it awkward? What if he laughed in your face? No, you wanted to do it, indirectly. You would come up with something.

After you drank your coffees, you returned to the apartment. Donghun recorded for about two hours. You would have to cut some parts where a truck drove by or where the neighbors talked too loudly but it had looked good.

“Awesome, you did a good job!”

It was true you really liked the video and sounds you had recorded. You set the earphones down and looked up at Donghun.

“Is it really okay if I upload this?”

From a legal standpoint you could not simply upload someone else’s face to your Youtube channel. So you had to ask.

“Yes!”

He beamed as he put on his jacket. You did not want him to leave but could not think of a reason to make him stay. Donghun must be tired. Sitting in the chair for so long was surprisingly exhausting. You knew that from experience.

“Awesome.”

You saw him to the door. Donghun standing in your door was something you would like to see again. When he came back that was.

“It was fun recording today! Thank you for letting me do this.”

His smile was a ray of warm sunlight.

“No problem. I had fun.”

He stood in your door and buried his hands in the pockets of his pants. I bet the hair feels as soft as it looks. It looked like he wanted to say something, probably goodbye. The time was now.

“Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?”

He looked a bit surprised but a smile appeared on his face.

“Yes, I would like that.”

“Good.”

Your heart had skipped a beat when he had said that. Hopefully it would not be too long before you met again.

“See you around.”

The video with the title “Hand sounds with my friend” was a big success. Comments and likes poured in all day. One of the most upvoted ones read:

“I loved the part you did together. Can we get a part two? 😘”

The thought of Donghun running his hands along your skin was dangerous. It had felt so good. It had been two weeks since you had filmed the video but the memory was still vivid in your mind. The tickling of his fingertips brushing over your arm. The warmth of his hands and the smell of his hair were still there. You wanted to run your hands through the soft hair, wondering how it would feel. His head would tilt up and he would look up at you with those sparkling eyes. Maybe he would kiss your hands. Kiss your arm. Kiss your lips.

Your phone vibrated and you jerked from your daydream.

“Hey, do you wanna get dinner tonight?”

Donghun. As if your thoughts had summoned him…

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

Was this a date? You did not want to ask if this was a date or not. No need to make things awkward.

About 20 minutes before you had to leave for your maybe date, you stood before your wardrobe and weighed your options. The nice dress may signal your interest but could also be perceived as overkill for a casual date with a friend. Wearing a simple jeans and sweater or cardigan combo might seem too much like you were not interested and saw this more as a “friends going out to eat” situation.

You put on the dress. It showed way more cleavage than you remembered. You did not feel comfortable enough to wear it today. Jeans and cardigan it was. As fast as possible you changed.

In order to relieve some nervousness you went to the bathroom and started putting on makeup in record time. Usually you were too lazy to put on makeup but in situations like now it felt like armour. Whatever may happen today at least you looked your best.

The worry you had had about a look overkill dissipated, when you saw Donghun. He wore black suit pants, a white dress shirt and a cream colored blazer. A black silk shawl was tied like a ribbon around his neck instead of a tie. Your dress would have looked down right shabby next this. Donghun looked absolutely stunning.

“Hi!”

“Hello!”

He smiled a small smile. It made your heart jump.

You opened the glass door and entered. The restaurant was not very fancy and Donghun seemed out of place. One of the tables in the back was free and he walked towards it with unwavering steps.

He sat down and you took the chair opposite. You busied yourself with choosing something to eat. The laminated pages of the menu made your fingers even more sweaty. It’s not necessary to be this nervous. Calm down. But look at him! Is he playing a prince in a drama or something. Who shows up to a dinner with a friend looking like that?

It was true, he looked extra good today. The only logical reason seemed to be that he saw this as a date. Maybe it was a good idea to signal your interest.

“I really like your outfit.”

He looked down as if to check what exactly he was wearing.

“Ah, yes. Thanks. I was taking photos with some friends earlier.”

“Oh.”

You did not realize that you had said that out loud until he gave you a questioning look. Pretending to be suddenly very interested in the menu you looked down and hoping your blush was not visible.

The waiter took your orders and left. You still felt awkward and avoided looking at him by looking around the room. Some of the older men at the other table were clearly talking about Donghun. He, however, was not bothered by the way people looked at him. In general it seemed like not a lot could dampen his confidence. One time you had hung out with Sujin, her ex and some more friends, you had played some game. Your recollection of the night was not very good but the result of the game - or was it a dare? - was that Donghun had to put on one of Sujin’s crop tops. He wore it for the rest of the night even when you went to a club. Now that you thought about it, this was actually something you admired about him.

“I don’t think i have asked, but what do you do for a living?”

Donghun had mentioned working but you did not remember what it was that he did. As it turned he worked as a system administrator at a company not too far away. On the side he had an instagram account with a few ten thousand followers. Not a huge following but definitely something. You pulled out your phone and searched for his account.

“I will stalk your account later.”

“But don’t like all the old posts or people will notice.”

Eyes sparkled mischievously and you laughed. The few photos you had seen looked exactly how you had expected. All of them had a hard to describe coziness to them. Like the one of Donghun sitting in bed with a mug.

“How have you been doing?”

The food had arrived and you felt more relaxed around Donghun. He obviously did not think this was a date so there was no pressure on you to look your best. It was a bit disappointing but also a relief. You talked about your work and how you thought about changing jobs.

“Would you quit if your channel was making enough money?”

“hmm.”

You had thought about that before but reality was complicated.

“Right now i’m just doing it for fun but if it was a matter of paying the bills, I don’t think it would be as fun.”

Donghun nodded.

“It’s not very stable.”

“That too.”

If your channel did very well and you quit your shitty, but stable job, you would have to worry more about what videos would do well instead of enjoying what you do.

“Ah, speaking of the channel, I wanted to ask you something.”

Donghun looked up from his plate.

“The video we recorded did really well and people asked for another. Would you like to make another video with me?”

[penny4yathoughts]

Resending it here :)

Inspired (prompted?) by the ask from your other blog about heterophobia and your answer. How do you think, is the situation with misogyny and misandry same?

The heterophobia post can be found here.

Just some quick definitions:

Misogyny: prejudice against women

Misandry: prejudice against men.

Now. This is strictly gonna be focused on personal knowledge and will be USA centered. I can't really speak for other countries.

But it feels like misogyny is more systemic, cultural, and social. Meanwhile misandry is more social and semi cultural.

I doubt anyone is gonna deny that historically there has been lots of systemic shit against women, their rights, and their autonomy. While there has been lots of steps forward in that regard there are still systematic structures in place that work against women. This kinda stuff is things like abortion, birth control, childcare custody, citizen ship for immigrants, paternity leave, etc.

On top of that we're still working on the cultural aspects of misogyny. Ie. Gender roles and ingrained assumptions. These tie into the more social things such as not getting a job because they think you're going to quit to have a family or you're too "hormonal," being accused of being on your period cuz you're upset, being considered weak, being forced to grow up sooner than male peers (this one has more stuff that factors into it tho), being more emotionally available, being forced to dress a certain way not for your classmates sake but because your male teachers might be distracted by you... A literal child. Not to mention the sexual assault numbers that are just down right disgusting. Plus the gross double edged blade where being a virgin is bad and not being a virgin is bad.

As for misandry, there are some laws in place that are pretty shitty. For example, longer prison sentences. We do as a society tend to physically punish men more harshly I feel like. But overall, most misandry cases are social or cultural. That's where toxic masculinity comes into play. It's completely true when people talk about growing up constantly being told not to cry and to man up causes them to hold in emotions making it hard to regulate them as adults. And women get the opposite side of things where they're told to use all their emotions for others well being-- be nurturing even at the cost of your own mental health. There's more examples too (such as not being taken seriously for sexual assault or demestic abuse), but they're easy enough to research. This post is going to be long enough as is.

^^^^ all of that said. These are cultural trends and ideas. Not everyone buys into them and a lot of people understand that they just don't make any sense in the first place. But that doesn't stop them from affecting people and even if you are aware of these things, you often still buy into them at least a little. This is because you were raised in a society with these ideas and you have to work against society to avoid them, which isn't always possible.

The biggest problem I find when trying to talk about all these issues with people is people not really willing to listen to either side. It's either "the world sucks for men" or the "world sucks for women." And if you try to talk about men people assume you hate women. If you talk about women people assume you hate men. And then you get a lotta hypocrisy.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen a man say "not all men" up until it's their daughter hitting puberty than it's "all men just want in your pants." Like if you want your kid to have a healthy view of men maybe instead of telling her to avoid any man cuz he's evil, teach her the red flags to look out for. Same for your son. Shitty people are everywhere. We should be teaching kids how to spot those red flags in anyone.

People just want an enemy. A group to fight against. Rather than actually looking at the truth. Shitty people are in every group. And odds are you're related to one of them. Stopping sexism against any gender isn't gonna be solved by telling someone all men are evil or all women are bitches. But people just don't seem to want to accept that the world isnt black and white. Especially since the two operate in different ways and need to be addressed differently with different audiences in mind.

You aren't going to solve domestic abuse against men and raise awareness of it the same way you're going to promote issues relating to women's autonomy. Honestly, you wouldn't even approach men's domestic abuse the same way as women's domestic abuse. Since people view the two so differently they'll need to be approached differently. The solutions aren't black and white either (tho they are tied to each other. Get women more autonomy and don't make them have to give so much emotional labor and it'll be easier for men to be independent emotionally. But you still gotta figure out the best way to do that).

Problems and solutions can't be condensed down into a perfect Twitter post that'll give you a buncha "woke" points. They need actual research and thought put into them by people who are willing to cooperate, work together, and actually look at all the angles since sexism has a lot of intersectionality tied to it (class, race, age, etc.). These things can't be treated like easy to digest sentences of who is right and who is wrong. And a big problem so the lack of people with different backgrounds and experiences running not just the government but also activists groups. On top of people online just trying to pin everyone against everyone.

Hope all of that makes sense. Let me know if you have any other questions. This post is already really long. But I'd be willing to talk in more detail.

[ao3feed-bakusquad]

Liar Liar

Liar Liar by Sweederose13

The old hag, His mother, didn't love him. He still didn't know if She knew that.

Words: 7406, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of My (Kiri)Bakugou One Shots, Drabbles, Ect.

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Bakugou Mitsuki, Bakugou Masaru, Kirishima Eijirou, Kirishima Eijirou's Parents, Ashido Mina, Ashido Mina's Parents, Kaminari Denki, Kaminari Denki's Mother, Various Characters, Class 1-A, Class 1-A (Background), Todoroki Shouto (background), Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight (mentioned), Yagi Toshinori | All Might (Mentioned), Minor Characters, other characters not tagged, Midoriya Izuku, Inko Midoriya (Mentioned)

Relationships: Bakugou Masaru/Bakugou Mitsuki, Bakugou Katsuki & Kirishima Eijirou, Ashido Mina & Bakugou Katsuki & Kaminari Denki & Kirishima Eijirou & Sero Hanta, Bakugou Katsuki & Class 1-A, implied relationships, Minor or Background Relationship(s)

Additional Tags: Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Bakugou Mitsuki's Bad Parenting, Bakugou Masaru's Bad Parenting, Emotional neglect, Verbal Abuse, Physical Abuse, Kirishima Eijirou is a Good Friend, Protective Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki Has Issues, unspecified mental health issues, Uhh basically he has trauma and it manifest as what my best guess is OCD?, Bakugou Katsuki has OCD, Angst, Angst with a Happy? Ending, Bakugou Katsuki is done with this shit, Get Bakugou Katsuki good role models 2021, Cleaning as a coping mechanism, Bakugou Katsuki has PTSD, Bakugou Katsuki doesn't realize theres something wrong, Bakugou Katsuki is under the impression this is normal, It absolutely is not, Jumping around in the time line, Kirishima Eijirou Knows somethings up, Implied Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijioru, Dadzawa, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Class 1 A is CONCERNED, Bakugou Katsuki-centric, Bakusquad Shenanigans, Bakugou Katsuki Apologizes, Bakugou Katsuki apologizes to Midoriya Izuku, on a rooftop, but for once there's no need to be worried about that, Midoriya Izuku is a Good Friend, Worried Midoriya Inko, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, I probably won't add them tho, Basically, Kicked out of his home, False Accusations, Accusations of drug use, mentioned drug use, in like one line?, Abusive Bakugou Mitsuki, I could have ordered these tags better, The Bakusquad isn't allowed to cook, Bakugou Katsuki tutors the Bakusquad, No beta we die like the cheap kazoos we are, not really edited either, spelling and grammar mistakes, Non-Linear Narrative

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30679328