#its a horrible feeling cause i could no longer enjoy the series even without the author being a shitty person

[echo-stimmingrose]

I so desperately want to be this big multi-fandom person but I've been hyperfixated on the same thing for two years (PJO) and before that was a five year long hyperfixation for a series I don't post or read about anymore cause it makes me feel icky. Also getting into new fandoms makes me nervous cause I don't know how the people in the fandom are gonna be and I won't know anything about it going in, and it's always a fandom that's been around for years and I feel weird about joining it so late. It can also just be incredibly overwhelming, I so desperately want to be a marvel fan but the sheer amount of media there is to consume just makes me panic.

[folkloreguk]

French Class [6]

A/N: You guys might want to whack out your love song playlist for this one…I cried writing this BYE I'm posting this from my grave!!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, ANGST, smut

words: ~ 3.8 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @yeostars, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek

You: can I come over? I kind of need u

H/N: you need me huh…you’re lucky I’m home alone

It always starts differently. Some other question, or a subtle message of telling him you’re bored, or a flat-out confession of being horny. The ending is always the same. You, naked in his bed. You just had to get there, and things were easy when you were already on his dorm’s doorstep.

The moment he had opened the door, you had fistfuls of his hair between your fingers and attacked his mouth in a feverish kiss. He made a noise between a laugh and surprise but reacted quickly. His lips parted right away, letting you in, and you tasted mint from the chewing gum he liked so much.

“Let me- at least- close the door,” he mumbled. “Jeez, what’s gotten into you today?”

You stepped aside and mirrored his grin. He was acting surprised, but the way he instantly locked your lips after he had shut the door told you he was enjoying this as much as you were. You ran your hands down his torso and along the side of his thighs. His happy hum only poured oil into the fire, and you saw no reason as to why you should have kept your clothes on any longer. In minutes, in the middle of heated kisses and clumsy chuckles, your clothes were discarded, and you were left in your underwear. You stumbled into his bedroom in a tangle of arms and legs and heads barely pulling apart.

“Will you tell me about the date you had today or are we skipping over that part?” he asked, as he pushed you down by the shoulders onto his bed. You groaned a little, not even knowing where to start.

“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked. Only a few nights ago you had consoled him after his failed date, now the roles were reversed.

“That’s one way to put it,” you said. He was climbing on top of you now, and the weight of him between your thighs still did the same things to you it had done the first time. There was one of his random playlists playing quietly from the speakers, but you were both too occupied to even consider switching the music off. You weren’t in the mood for a chat, not when he was biting and sucking bruises into your chest, pushing aside your bra just enough. But you knew he wasn’t going to let it go this easily.

“Tell me about it or I won’t take one more piece of clothing off your body,” he threatened. You shot him an are-you-serious-look while he only blinked at you innocently, like he was awaiting your response.

“Fine,” you groaned. “But hurry, now.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, before unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Go ahead, I expect a story.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, but when he sucked on your nipple all of a sudden, and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud ever so perfectly, your eyes moved to the back of your head involuntarily. And, before he could complain, you started to retell today’s events.

“Alright. First of all, he acted all gentleman-y. Pulling back my chair at the restaurant, letting me have a look at the menu first, letting me order first, asking me if I was okay with our seats because they were in the sunshine, or whether he should have requested we get a different in the shade table, blah, blah, blah.”

With the lewd noises he was making, kissing your chest and fumbling with your breasts, you almost wondered whether he was paying attention to you at all.

“I’m waiting for the plot twist,” he chuckled. “If he had been this great, you wouldn’t be in my bed right now, would you?” He was now on his way to your lower regions. Your breaths came out shaky when he gripped your hips with familiar fingertips and placed a few kisses there, right above the material of your underwear. Nonetheless, you had to continue your story.

“Oh, it’s coming,” you said. “Because I suspect, the only reason he was acting that way was to compensate. For the fact that he was an hour late.”

He stifled a laugh, and you slapped his head playfully. “It’s not funny! I stood outside that restaurant on a busy street like an idiot for an hour. During exam season!”

“I wonder, if studying is so special to you- ,” he said. He tugged on your underwear, and you barely cared about his words when you were already imagining his mouth on your pussy. “Why aren’t you at home right now, doing just that?”

“Too frustrated,” you groaned, spreading your legs, practically inviting him in. “You don’t get it. That was only the beginning of the date. It gets worse.”

“Oh, damn,” he laughed, and you were going to slap him again. Harder, this time. But his tongue kitten-licked over your clit and you didn’t dare interrupt him further.

“First of all, he turned out to be boring. An economics major. And look, I’m not generalizing, I’ve met some cool economics majors. But when I said I never really understood the whole thing with inflation and deflation, I wasn’t asking for him to explain it to me. I know what it means, I just meant to say money is the root of all evil,” you said, little moans slipping inbetween your sentences. He laughed whilst sipping on your clit. You couldn’t be mad at his laughing anymore. In fact, at the sound of his chuckles, your own lips curled into a smile, too. God, he was so good with his tongue.

“But turns out he loved money. Like it was the sole reason he was doing anything. When he showed me his gold watch I almost yawned,” you continued.

“Dating a rich guy can have its upsides too, though,” he said, but you knew he was joking. He was running the tips of his fingers over your core, and you whimpered at how badly you wanted him to put them inside of you. You loved watching him, loved feeling his hair tickle the side of your thighs and having his free hand laying on top of your hipbone. The familiarity of it all, his little habits, made your heart heavy, so full of emotion, all of a sudden. But you had to snap out of it.

“Not this guy. He kept saying these lowkey sexist things I won’t repeat now. It’ll only make me mad again. He was one of those who thought money would buy him a girlfriend. And I was really trying to see the good in him…only there was none,” you said.

“Alright, I’m starting to understand why you needed some cheering up,” he said. “Good thing you’re at the right place. I know just the thing.”

At this, he slid his digits into you. You hummed and dropped your head into the plush pillow. Slowly, you exhaled, happy you finally got to relax after being so upset. But of course, he had to interrupt. Again.

“Did I say you could stop? Was that the end of the story?” he said. How did he expect you to form a coherent sentence? He fingered you gently, but the slowness of it all only drove you crazier. You felt every tiny sensation, every new bit of you he touched.

“No,” you sulked. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Go on, then,” he encouraged you, grinning because he was proud of your reaction he had caused.

“Fuck- okay. He was super shitty to the waiter. I’m talking about criticizing everything. This man had the audacity to complain about the food. I’m not a food critic, but I swear the food was amazing, there was nothing to fault at all,” you said, and then whined when he switched from licking your clit to sucking it between his teeth. You knew he was doing this on purpose. To make speaking harder for you.

“Oh my god, H/N. Wait, let me finish this. Not only was he horrible to the waiter in person, but he also made fun of the waiter’s appearance behind his back. And all along he expected me to find him funny. I used to think he had a sense of humor but not after today. Blech.”

“At least you got a free dinner?” he said, and without awaiting your answer, went back to work. Your head was spinning in pleasure, and you could only laugh sarcastically at his suggestion.

“Yeah. And after that train wreck of a date, he really thought he’d get to stick his tongue down my throat,” you said.

“Did he at least ask permission?” asked the boy between your legs.

“Mhm…but I told him I don’t do that on the first date,” you said. “Safe to say there won’t be another date, though.”

He looked up now, laughing more than before. You grinned, mainly because the sight of him was so cute. He folded his hands on your belly and put his face down onto your skin to giggle. In no way could you be upset or urge him to keep giving you head. In fact, you had forgotten about all of that for a while, as he seemed to enjoy your misfortune a little too wildly. You should have been hungry, eager to have the half-naked boy inside of you. Yet, you laughed at the way his breaths tickled your stomach and when he finally made eye contact, it was a wholly different sort of hunger which overcame you. Instead of the heat he usually made you feel, it was a comfortable warmth that was in your chest. It reminded you of a bonfire or of drinking your favorite hot drink on a cool autumn day.

“I want to watch you come,” he said, casually. “Were you close?”

You were so lost in his trustworthy, dreamy eyes, you almost forgot to reply. Quickly, you nodded and hummed.

“I would have already come, had you not pestered me to tell you all the details of my date,” you said. The way his cheeks beamed when he smiled made you feel as if your insides were turning into mush.

“I’m sorry. I’m your friend, aren’t I allowed to ask how your day went?” he asked.

“Of course you are,” you said. The word ‘friend’ echoed off every wall in your head until you wished you could have deleted it from the dictionary.

“I’ll make sure it feels extra good now,” he said, kissing your stomach. You shivered as you watched his gentle lips move lower, to your hips and the insides of your thighs. The touch felt like butterfly wings on your skin, and the tardiness of it made you impatient. When his tongue came in contact with your clit again, you sucked in a breath of surprise.

He tried to start slowly, but then you gripped his hair tightly, and carefully pushed him further. It was something you did often, a way to tell him you wanted more without having to use words. After all this time, he understood perfectly. Your clit was between his lips and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pleasure. It felt incredible, creating a funny sensation in the pit of your stomach. His fingers grazed over your slit until you were whimpering and shifting your hips, trying to make him hurry.

One of his digits slid into you easily, curling against your sweet spot, and it hit you only now how much you had missed him between your legs since he had stopped a few minutes ago. It made you feel as though you were suddenly overwhelmed with all of him, but you were willing to let the heat crash over you if it meant you could be close to him.

“Am I making it up to you now?” he asked as he pulled away merely for a breath. “I’ll turn your day into a good one after all.”

In a different tone his words would have sounded like the exact thing one would have expected to hear from a fuckboy in the bedroom. He could have boasted and bragged endlessly about how great he was with his tongue and fingers – he would have been right – but he didn’t mean it like that. You could tell from the uprightness and the authenticity in his voice that he really was doing his best because he wanted to make you feel better and turn your day around. Because you were special to him. Or so you desperately hoped.

Your legs wrapped around his shoulders as if you were trapping him between your thighs. But he was right there, and he would gladly stay for so much longer, and to say it puzzled you was an understatement. The boy who belonged to everybody, who was known by all of the campus, was treating you like you were royalty, and not the other way around. You moaned, his name inevitably falling from your lips. He added another finger and the slightest stretch made you lose your mind for a split second.

“That guy could have never made you feel this good, could he?” he suddenly asked. Your initial response was a helpless whine. You had been so close, and his talking had interrupted the otherworldly bliss for a moment.

“No, never,” you then whimpered shortly. ‘No’ was such a tiny word. It could barely encapsule what you truly meant to say. Which was that it would have never even gotten that far. That other guys couldn’t even have you at all. They didn’t get their turn to try and beat him. Not as of lately, at least. That you didn’t so much as dare to think about sleeping with other guys. That even before you had gone on the date, you had known it wouldn’t lead to anything. No guy could let you develop an interest on him in the same way the boy between your legs had done it. No other would be able to kidnap your brain like that. H/N was always there. Even when it was only you and your sex toys, you would automatically pretend it was him getting you off. You were so far gone that it was embarrassing how long it had taken you to admit it to yourself. But it was a colossal thing to confess to him, and you would never do that. Rejection would hurt a billion times more than whatever it was you two had now.

Your heart was racing as you closed your eyes. You had been so lost in thought, it was wondrous you hadn’t fallen yet. But you were right on the edge, making your breaths come out like puffs and a string of moans and swears sound from your lips. He too had stopped talking, concentrating on the task at hand, and judging by the way your back arched he was doing one hell of a good job.

“Oh my god- “ you whimpered. “I’m so close, H/N.”

This time he didn’t reply, which was for the best. Only a few seconds passed until you started to quiver and whine beneath him. You were going to outer space behind your eyelids as your high rushed through you. Your fingers curled and tightened in his locks while your legs clenched around his head. He was quick to pull your thighs apart again, still not being finished. For long seconds you swam in pleasure, with nothing on your mind but bursting stars. He was heaven, knowing precisely how far he could take it until you were too sensitive to take any more.

When you were at that point, he finally pulled away and looked up at your crumpled form. There was a lazy smile playing in the corner of your lips and your vision was hazy after having had your eyes closed for a while. He climbed up your body until his chest was against yours so he could really look at you.

“I get all of this without ever having been on a single date with you? I’m so lucky,” he said. You only smiled at him, at a loss for words. What were you to say? The two of you were clearly past the awkward dating stage already.

“I’m lucky you let me come over all the time,” you said. “I would have expected the campus fuckboy to be busier. To not have an empty spot in his bed every night.”

“Ah, shut up,” he said. “I’d rather have you here than a girl I don’t know at all. Look, I’m really tired so I don’t know how this will go…but can I?” He was on his knees, a tent visible in his boxers. With a questioning look, he was tugging them down his legs now.

“Of course,” you said. As you watched him roll on a condom, your ears perked up. Did that song have to come on shuffle just now? The coziest, most romantic love song you adored so much? You knew if you looked him in the eyes you’d be done for. But there wasn’t anywhere else to look when he settled between your legs and held up his weight with his forearms. His eyes were deep enough for you to get lost within a second. Distracting yourself was impossible. The one last thing you could do was to reach between the two of you and guide his length into you.

The song’s chorus came on, you looked at him once again, and suddenly you were all his. You didn’t need to tell him so. He thrust gently, almost carefully, like he had never done it with you. Your heart hammered against your ribcage so vivaciously, you wondered whether it had turned autonomous and was now trying to jump out of your body, onto his skin and through it, so it could nestle next to his own heart.

Neither of you spoke. Yet, there had never been so much chemistry, such a heavy amount of uncommunicated emotions between the two of you. You were ready to hang on his every word, should he decide to speak up. In your head rampaged a billion sentiments you needed him to know, but there was no option to express them adequately. Perhaps there were simply no words in the English language to declare your feelings for him.

Small whimpers and moans left your lips only for him to hear. Sometimes he moved a little quicker, gifting you with the most perfect sounds he could make. And to know you were the cause for it sent you into overdrive. His mouth was right above yours. If you lifted your head slightly, you could have kissed his sweet, sweet lips. But you were so afraid. What would he think? You had never kissed him during sex. Not softly, like you wanted it so terribly.

Even worse, you craved so much more than that. You wanted to pull him in, envelope his mouth in your own, crawl over the edge of his lips and reside in his chest for safety. Because that’s what he was. Comfort. Reassurance. Home. How foolish you had been, pretending this little fling would lead to nothing more. You really had told yourself this would work. No feelings. Just fun. You couldn’t deny having fun with him. He was the best company you had ever known, and he had become your most precious friend quickly. It was as if you had only been waiting for the silly, flirty boy to sit across from you in the library and make weak advances towards you.

The love song tuned out slowly, replaced by something more sensual and sinful. In accordance with the new background noise, he gripped your hips a little meaner and went faster. You barely noticed how his breathing had sped up as he was getting closer to his orgasm. A trance had overcome you, transfixing you on his godlike features and how much it hurt to know you couldn’t call him yours. In your head you were made for each other. They always said to date your best friend, didn’t they? You could try to turn back time, go back to your first meeting place, at the party. See if things would turn out different. But you knew they wouldn’t. As much as your fear tried to suppress it – you would take the same path again, stumbling head-first into his arms and letting him into your life like a crashing wave of laughter and heart-crushing conversations.

Now you reflected in despair, how he had taken your heart in a storm, without having to try too hard. And worst of all, you were okay with it. Your heart was secure with him, you thought. The feelings yearned to be spoken out loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You feel so good,” he said. “Always, so fucking good.”

He snapped his hips against yours, burying his cock deep inside of you and all you could muster was a hum of agreement. This is what you got for keeping him at arms-length from the beginning. Wasn’t it you who had challenged him to be friends and only that? Perhaps you would be okay, so long as no one else called him theirs either. You could go on like this, letting him use you for sexual relief and making him laugh when he needed it. Gladly, you would take the pain of not being allowed to love him with your whole being if it meant you could see him whenever you wanted. Exposing those silly emotions would wreck your friendship and you wouldn’t let it happen.

He grunted and only then, when he lowered his head into the crook of your neck and moaned your name, you realized he was reaching his high. Softly, you cradled his head in your hands, as if it was the last time you could hold him like this. When he put his forehead against yours, he had his eyes closed and his chest was moving steadier than before.

“You’re the best,” he whispered. “Stay the night?”

Should you have gone home, and missed him all night? Would you have regretted saying no while you curled up in bed with no Cheshire-cat-grin-boy to hold? Or were you to remain in his bed, and pray you would survive the torture of not speaking your mind? His skin radiated the most wonderful warmth and you wanted to trace his lips with your eyes until you fell asleep. That’s how quickly it was decided.

“Okay,” you answered.

[mrslilyrogers]

All I have to do is Dream Part 3

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Telepath! Reader (X-men reader)

Summary: It’s been five years since the snap. You and Steve are stuck at an impasse. You want a family, he doesn’t. He says he’s moved on but has he really? With your doubts growing, you consider risking his trust and use your powers on him to get your answers once and for all.

Author’s notes: This is late and not as long as I hoped it would be but hope you all enjoy! There might be one more part left to this series and maybe an epilogue. 

Eight voicemails and twelve messages. Eight voicemails and twelve messages from the person you wanted to talk to the most. Everyday for the past few weeks since you left, he called. And everyday your hands itched to reach out and call back but you stopped yourself. 

“I love her!” 

His voice echoed in your head. Enough was enough. Your fingers kneaded your temples, trying to alleviate the headache forming there. It didn’t help that there was a dark gnawing feeling in your gut, something was wrong. You knew it. A sixth sense, if you will. It happened the first time your powers manifested. You had been eight then, in front of the television with your dad when suddenly, your heart started to beat faster, your breaths coming in short pants, and your forehead dotted in sweats; a strong sense of foreboding crept under your skin and ever since then, life had never been the same. 

That night, you slept in a restless slumber; trapped under a heavy spell while you watched your father as a young boy. You had no idea how you knew the man who carried you over his shoulders, who seemed so strong and indestructible to your child’s eyes, was this same little boy you watched. You couldn’t understand it, you were dreaming but it was so real. Every detail as crisp as if you had been there and witnessed it. It wasn’t long before it all changed, everything before you cast in a darker shade, the people around you in black, sliding apologetic glances towards the somber boy standing in between his grandparents. You started to break out in a cold sweat, you were at a funeral. The boy’s parents, your father’s parents, just died. You ran, screaming, your heart racing, trying to find a way to get out. You couldn’t stay here, you couldn’t. But the more frantic you became, the more everything jumbled, bringing out his worst fears and nightmares and all you could do was scream, helpless and trapped. 

Oddly enough, that was how you felt now. Despite leaving Steve for the sake of the both of you, you were trapped, helpless to the niggling thought at the back of your mind that something was about to go horribly wrong. You tried to remember everything Xavier Institute has taught you, you were a telepath and with it came a natural intuition you couldn’t ignore. A heightened sense of empathy and awareness. 

You understood people even when they barely gave you a chance to be understood. You still remembered all those times people ran away from you. Those you considered your closest friends, even your teachers, treated you as if you were the plague. Their thoughts filled with dread and terror while you desperately tried to explain yourself but the more agitated you became, the more you lost control. It gave you no other choice but to distance yourself from them, getting homeschooled and keeping to yourself as much as you could. Your father tried his best, you knew he did but he could never look at you the same way. You didn’t have to get into his head to hear his cries at night, worrying and wondering where he went wrong.

It wasn’t long before Professor X found you and invited you to join his school for the gifted. School for the gifted. There was a time you couldn’t say that without a roll to your eyes, how could it have been a gift when all it ever caused you was sorrow? The day it was finally time for you to leave the only home you’ve ever known, your father’s relief was palpable in the air. He never gave voice to it and instead promised to visit as often as he could but even then, you knew he wouldn’t have been able to keep up. He visited you less and less as time went on until your relationship was reduced to a couple of phone calls barely lasting five minutes long. 

That was why you learned never to get too close. You owed to the X-Men who you were today. They had given you a place to call home, somewhere to belong to. For all the years you spent at the institute, they were nothing but kind to you, encouraging you, helping you hone your abilities and to cope with the loss of your former life. They gave you a fresh start, a new family and it should’ve been enough and in some ways, it is. But there was always a part of yourself you couldn’t give no matter how hard you tried and so the moment you could leave, you left. You wandered on your own, occasionally coming back to visit and catch up before leaving again, never planting any roots. That was the way you wanted it, that way you could never get hurt. 

Until Steve.

He instantly broke down your defenses and what was supposed to be a one-timer mission turned longer than you would’ve ever dreamed. You would’ve been lying if you said you didn’t stay with the Avengers because of him. The truth was as much as staying with them was fulfilling, there was a part of him that called out to you. You understood him, a man out of his time. Out of place. All you’ve ever felt your whole life. His loneliness drew you to him like a moth to a flame. He never showed it, too proud to admit it to himself but you knew it the instant you met him. He was untethered, burdened to continue on in a world he didn’t belong in. Your heart ached for him, for a man so lost that he only ever felt alive when he was at war. You tried to help him see the world with color again. “Ironic, coming from you,” you thought to yourself. But the more time you spent with him, the more your cynicism chipped away bit by bit until you became closer to the person you were before your abilities. Free to dream and love as you should’ve been. It was as if you needed him as much as he needed you. 

“Would you like a refill for that, honey?” the kindly old waitress asked, jerking you out of your reverie, her wrinkled face etched into a pitying smile. You shook your head and gave her your thanks, the dread in your chest intensifying once more. 

Look at where you are now, back to square one. 

You huffed at the tiny voice inside your head. She was right. Here you were, sat on a dingy couch at a diner in the middle of nowhere running from the people you loved the most. You looked at your phone again, the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach screaming at you to do something. You should at least call Nat, you thought to yourself. You’d been planning to call her anyway even though you always chickened out. That seemed the safest thing to do for your sanity, make sure they were alright then you’d be on your merry way again. It was the only way to calm your racing heart, to get rid of that sense of foreboding creeping up at you and pulling you down. You could just be anxious, right? Guilt and shame of leaving plaguing you before you could truly move on. After that phone call, everything will be put back to rights. You’ll feel better, you keep telling yourself. Only your mind wouldn’t listen. 

The ringing on the other end of the line kept you on edge and when Nat’s worried voice greeted you, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. 

“Y/N! Where the hell have you been? Steve has been looking everywhere for you! Do you know how worried we’ve been?”

You could hear the hurt in her tone and your heart broke at how you’d left things with your friend, completely forgetting about how she’d react when you impulsively decided to run away. But they were safe. At least, they were safe. Tears pricked at your eyes, you had no idea just how desperate you’ve become to hear her voice on the line, to know that nothing had happened in your absence and the stress of these past few weeks have just been taking its toll.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Nat--” you broke off, your voice cracking from trying not to cry. 

“I shouldn’t have left the way I did but it was just too much, I had to leave. I couldn’t stay, not after everything that happened,” you continued, sniffing through it, willing yourself not to break down to your best friend on the phone in the middle of a busy diner.

“I know, sweetie. Steve told me all about it.” She sighed, sounding tired, before continuing, “You know I will never pick any sides right? I’ll support whatever you decide.” 

“Thanks, Nat. I knew you would, I never doubted you. It’s just… it’s been a lot to take in and I can’t… I don’t know how to face him if…” you trailed off, not having the courage to continue what you knew all along. It was one thing to admit it to yourself but another to say it out loud to another person. It made it more real. More final. You picked at the hem of your shirt, shaking your head. It was as if Nat knew what you were thinking, she gave another sigh on the other end of the line.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it now. But Y/N, he really does love you. He hasn’t been the same since you left and--” she immediately cut herself off as if she was about to say something she shouldn’t. You didn’t miss her sharp intake of breath before she continued, “You should really talk to him, Y/N.” 

“Nat, what’s going on? Are you guys alright?”

You felt goosebumps on your flesh. Rubbing your free hand on your thigh, you tried to calm your racing nerves.

“No, no, we’re fine. Don’t worry--” she replied instantaneously, reassuring you but before she could continue, you cut her off, relief washing over you. 

“Good. That’s good. Cause for a while there, I thought you were gonna say something crazy. I’ve just been having this weird feeling that something big is going to happen. But I’m probably just being anxious. Sorry, what were you saying?” 

“You really do have that scary clairvoyant thing going on sometimes,” you heard her laugh at you, teasing, but before you could say anything else, she turned serious, 

“Y/N, we’re gonna try to bring everyone back,” her voice was filled with hope and determination that it made you pause, your brain struggling to keep up. 

What? Did you hear her right? 

She started to explain their plan but your mind was already spinning. You immediately left the booth, slapping a ten dollar bill on the table. Your frantic steps heading into the direction of your car parked outside.

“Nat, Nat, hold on. What do you mean you’re leaving? Traveling through time? Is that even possible?” You slammed the door on your car, your voice hushed as if scared to even wonder, heart beating rapidly in your chest. 

If she really meant what you think she meant then they were all going to risk their lives for an attempt to bring everyone back. But who knew if it would even work? What if they got lost? What if they never came back? You didn’t give yourself a moment to hope. This was too dangerous. Too quick and impulsive. You needed to talk to Steve.

Before Nat could reply, you heard him call her in the background, his voice authoritative and resolute. They were ready. They were going to leave now. 

“Nat, let me talk to him,” you heard yourself say without preamble. There was no need to think it through, it didn’t matter if he hated you, if he wanted nothing to do with you, you just had to talk to him. 

“Who’s that?” You could hear him ask in the background, his voice far, his footsteps approaching. 

The moment he realized who was on the other line, the moment he saw your picture flash on his friend’s screen, his hand shot out frantically for it, scared you’d leave before he even got a chance to hear your voice. 

“Y/N?” he asked softly, worried you might suddenly end the call. You could almost see the look on his face, eyebrows furrowed, eyes searching and concerned. 

“Steve,” All the emotions you felt carried out in a single name. Regret, shame, longing. That was all it took before you broke down into tears. If you hadn’t called Nat, if you had let even one more day pass by, your last fight could’ve been the last time you ever saw him. 

“Is everything alright? What happened? Are you okay?” he was suddenly alert, voice booming with concern and just a little bit of panic. 

“No, I’m fine, I’m fine. Nat told me everything. Are you leaving already? What’s going on?” you managed to choke out, trying to regain as much composure as you can. You heard him let out a sigh of relief on the other end. 

“Oh, doll. Don’t worry about us. It’ll be alright. We’ve got it under control, I promise,” he sounded so sure of himself, his voice so soothing, almost as if he were caressing your back like he usually does to reassure you. You heard his footsteps again and the closing of a door, you assumed he looked for a place more private, quiet. This time, you wouldn’t easily let up. 

“You can’t promise that, Steve. Let me come with you,” you pleaded, exasperation in your tone. You surprised even yourself, your hands already frantically moving to drive.  You had no idea what came over you, had no idea what you were even really getting into. All you knew was that no matter where you stood in your relationship, you’ve been through so much together, you couldn’t let him face this alone. 

“No. Absolutely not. It’s too dangerous, Y/N. Just stay where you are and I’ll come find you when all this is over,” his voice brooked no argument. You could already tell how he looked like, his head shaking vehemently, feet braced apart, eyes flashing with determination. 

“Steve--” you started, voice rising in return but he immediately cut you off. 

“Y/N, listen to me. I don’t have much time but please, just this once, promise me you’ll stay where you are. Keep yourself safe until I come find you--”

“No way am I--” you spoke over him, your patience wearing thin, panic rising in your throat. 

“Y/N, let me finish. Doll, I don’t have much time. We’ve already ran simulations and this works. We’re gonna get them all back but I can’t do that if I think you’re in trouble so please, baby, just promise me you’ll stay put. It’ll only be a minute for you. Just stay where you are, please. I can’t lose you, love.” his voice verged on desperation, making you pause. 

“I know I’ve said some things I can’t take back and god, do I fucking regret them every single day since you left but I love you. And if this fails and I don’t come back, I need to know you’re at least safe. I need you to promise me that,”

“Steve, don’t… don’t talk like that,” you shook your head, not acknowledging what he was saying. This was unfair. Steve was never one to be pessimistic, he never showed any vulnerability before a mission and the fact that he did now made your heart ache. He had one goal and one goal only, he wanted to right what he perceived to be his wrong. He was going into this fully prepared to give his life to get everyone back. But for you, the stakes were too high. Who knew the dangers of what the past held? What if something happens that would keep him there? 

“Love, please. We’re leaving soon,”

You let out a huge breath. “Just promise me you’ll be back?” 

You could almost hear the smile on his face, could almost see his shoulders sag with relief. 

“Then promise me, you’d stop driving while on the phone,” he joked, trying to make light of the situation. He knew how you could get when you excessively worried about him. He didn’t even realize how much he loved it until now that your fussing was reduced to a phone call. 

“Steve, I mean it,” you warned seriously. 

“When have I ever backed down from a fight? And this is just an extraction mission. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise,” his voice sounded so calming, you almost believed it. 

Despite his downplaying, you knew the risks. Time travel? Who could even say they’ve thought this would be possible even in their wildest dreams?

“I’ve gotta go, sweetheart. I love you. I’ll come to you as soon as all this is over,” you heard the scuffle of feet in the background, heard F.R.I.D.A.Y calling out to him, and suddenly, you didn’t have enough time. You had so much to say, so much to apologize for.

“Steve, wait--” you started desperately, ready to beg for forgiveness. 

“Don’t.” he cut you off quickly as if already knowing the direction you were heading in. 

“There’s no need, doll. I love you, we’ll make this work. I promise, I’ll do everything I can to make it work,”

He sounded so sincere, so forgiving that it made your lips tremble into a soft smile.

“I love you too, Steve. I’ll see you guys in a minute,” you replied, trying to sound as lighthearted as you could when you heard Nat scream it to you in the background. You didn’t want to psyche him out with your worry. This was the mission of his lifetime, everyone depended on him. 

You tried to ignore the heavy feeling in your gut, the fear crawling up your veins. 

Something is about to go wrong. 

Steve chuckled, finally feeling a weight being lifted off his chest, finally able to hope again. This was the future he looked forward to. 

“We’ll see you in a minute, baby,”  

You hoped to God you would. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author’s notes: This was tough to write since everything happens through a phone call. I tried to capture the tension of the situation through that and hope I did. As always, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! 

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Seven. Cooties, Discall, and Flirting

warnings: swearing, also I used the word “flirt” so many times it no longer holds meaning so beware word count: 4k 

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: putting it up here this time!!!! i liked this chap so i hope you do too!!!!! if you didn’t see the missing dms from part 3 (which are now actually in part 3), bugsy agreed to a minecraft date with dream in exchange for karl touring her on his smp!! anyway, enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**********

The frosty air bit at Y/n's skin as she hurriedly shut the car door behind her, starting up her car in an attempt to find warmth as quickly as possible. "Why do I live here?" she asked through chattered teeth, causing Naomi to laugh.

"It's not that cold!"

"I don't know how you're okay with this."

"Do you want me to drive? You're so stiff you'll crash,” Naomi offered as she looked at Y/n.

"I'm fine, I just need to warm up for a second," Y/n assured as she rubbed her hands together in front of the heater.

Naomi giggled and took her hands, rubbing them to help heat them up.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Now hurry up, I have a work meeting in like 30 minutes."

"What?" she gasped, quickly putting her gloves back on. "Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have spent so much time looking at Christmas decorations!"

"I'm just kidding. But Karl will be mad if he has to wait for his food any longer."

"You're seriously the worst." She smacked Naomi's arm and started driving, much less panicked than a few moments prior.

"You love me."

"Whatever. How's your internship going by the way?"

Naomi sighed. "Good. It's really hard to be motivated to go since it's unpaid but it's the last thing I need to graduate so I have to do it."

"But you enjoy it, right? I mean it's what you want to do."

"Yeah, no, I love it. I just wish I was getting paid so I didn't have to work at the grocery store too. I wish I could get paid to play video games like you."

Y/n deflated slightly. She hated when people put it like that, it made her sound like it wasn't a real job but it was challenging in its own way. "I'll teach you how to pvp and you'll be on your way to the top."

"Maybe then I could actually meet George myself instead of waiting around for you to do it."

"Wait!" Y/n gasped. "Did I not... did I not tell you about the other night?"

"Uh... I guess not? What happened?"

Y/n squealed. "Dude! Make a Discord account right now. Get your phone out and make one."

"Why? What is that?"

"It's the thing we all use to voice call during streams and in private and stuff. Come on!" Y/n used her right hand to urge Naomi to grab her phone. "George said you can't have his number but you can have his Discord."

"Wait, really??" Naomi gasped. "Wait, what does that mean!? I can talk to him on it!?"

Y/n laughed. "Yes, yes! You can text or voice call or even video call but I don't suggest that right away. Don't scare him away."

"He really said he'd add me back? Wait, when did you talk to him about me?"

"On Dream's stream. After the movie, I went and talked to them for a few hours."

"Is that why I heard you giggling at four in the morning?"

Y/n felt her cheeks heat up. "Okay, well, that was just with Dream. George and Sapnap left the call around one and two."

"Date."

"Sounds to me like someone doesn't want GeorgeNotFound's Discord..."

Y/n saw Naomi cower shyly. "Sorry. Please give it to me."

"I don't know it off the top of my head, silly. So be nice for the rest of the car ride and I'll get it when we get home."

"Is Karl meeting us at our apartment or his?"

"Ours. Can you tell him we're almost there?"

"I don't know if I have the strength to... talk to someone who's such good friends with... my love..." Naomi started with a dramatic sigh, "it just reminds me of the pain I go through daily... without him..."

"If that were true, you couldn't talk to me. I'm also good friends with Mr. Not Found."

Naomi threw her head to glare at Y/n, who just laughed. "Come on, text Karl. Please. His food will get cold."

Y/n watched as Naomi typed away on her phone. Soon, the two pulled up to their apartment complex and headed upstairs. Y/n turned the corner and walked down the hall to see Karl standing at their front door.

"KARL JACOBS! WE HAVE FOOD!"

He looked up quickly from his phone and beamed at them. "My heroes!"

"What are you doing outside, silly?" Y/n asked. "Don't you have a key?"

"Naomi made me give it back after I pulled that prank on you guys last month," he explained as Y/n unlocked the door.

"Well deserved. I still find glitter everywhere."

Y/n set the food on the counter and the other two crowded around. "Thank you, mother, for lunch," Karl joked and kissed her cheek loudly, his love language of physical touch jumping out of him. Y/n grimaced playfully as she wiped her cheek on her shoulder.

"GROSS!!! COOTIES!"

Karl pouted. "I thought we were best fwends, Y/n . Best fwends don't have cooties."

"You do. You're a boy."

Y/n's phone lit up as Karl started going on a joking rant about how Y/n  always is so mean to his affections and he can't help wanting to show his friends he loves them and how she's so mean and, "Y/n you're not even listening to my complaints how are we supposed to be best friends when you're too busy talking to your boyfriend all the time and—"

"Boyfriend?" Y/n looked up quickly, worried he had seen the text from Peter that she just read. He was still trying to convince her to talk to him even after she bluntly told him no and why.

Karl walked over to the couch with his food and sat next to Naomi. "I was just joking... why, is there someone?" he giggled. "Dreeeaam maybe?"

Y/n shook her head, and her lack of defensiveness made Naomi and Karl look at each other. Normally she turned bright red and stumbled over her words when they joked about anyone being her boyfriend, but she was stone cold silent as her phone continued to illuminate her face.

"Y/n... What's up?" Naomi asked. "Is it Peter again?"

"Peter?" Karl's eyebrows raised and his food almost fell out of his mouth. "He's been texting you?"

Y/n sighed, locking her phone and sliding it in her pocket before finally joining her friends on the couch. "It's nothing."

"No, it's not."

"He wants to talk," Y/n mumbled.

"What?" Karl asked genuinely.

"I said he wants to talk."

Karl just stared for a few moments before looking at Naomi, who nodded, then back at Y/n. "You're not going to, right? Right? You've got to be kidding me, Y/n, he's a selfish dick and he's just going to keep hurting you. Why do you keep giving him the benefit of the doubt when he's proven time and time again that he's nothing but a fuc—"

"Karl!" Y/n interrupted. "I'm obviously not going to talk to him."

Karl's face flushed, probably embarrassed that he had assumed the worst and ranted. He sighed, exasperated. "Why don't you just block him already?"

Y/n shrugged. "He's harmless now that I don't let his words get to me."

"I'm just glad you finally decided not to meet up with him," Naomi said.

Y/n  shrugged like it was an obvious choice, but deep down she couldn't help but think about the exact reason she had come to that decision. Besides all the pain he had caused her, how could she consider getting back together with her ex when she finds herself giddy about talking to someone else over Discord? Simple: she couldn't. The possibility of liking Dream briefly crossed her mind, and she knew that in the few weeks she had talked to him, the faceless man she had never met in real life made her feel better about herself than her ex-boyfriend ever did in the two years they dated. She wasn't sure quite what that meant, but she knew it was something.

"Can I have George's Dis...call or whatever it's called now? Please?"

Y/n laughed at the failed attempt at remembering the name of the application and pulled out her phone, directing Naomi on where to add friends and listing off his name and hashtag. Naomi then gave Y/n her name so she could tell George who to add back. "There, now leave me alone about George for the rest of your life."

Naomi giggled giddily before going to her room, eyes glued to her phone for the moment he would add her back.

"I'm sorry for being so bossy when it comes to Peter," Karl muttered.

Y/n shrugged and cuddled into the couch, hugging a pillow to her stomach. "I get that he was awful, but you have to trust me to know what to do."

"I do! I promise I trust you but..." Karl paused to groan, "but he just makes my blood boil. I've never hated anyone in my life but I would love to slice his head off if I ever got the chance."

"Thank you for being protective, but I promise I can handle myself."

Karl looked at her sadly. "Why did you stay with him for so long? Even after he cheated on you and said all those horrible things?"

She shrugged shamefully. "I had no one else."

"You had me and Naomi! Y/n, you've never been alone."

"That's not what I mean, Karl. I love you guys so much but it's not the same as dating someone, you know?"

"I guess..." he sighed. "But wouldn't you rather be alone than with someone who's so possessive you're afraid to tell him about your real job?"

Y/n dropped her shoulders. He had a point. She really shouldn't have stayed with Peter as long as she did. He was scary. "Yeah."

A scream from the other room snapped them out of their serious conversation. "HE ADDED ME BACK!"

Y/n laughed and Karl shook his head. "Poor George. He's about to regret so much," she predicted.

"Noooo... I'm sure he and Naomi will get along great," Karl argued. "They'll be friends at least."

"Maybe. Hey, any updates about cameragirl?"

Karl blushed immediately and Y/n smiled.

"Is that a yes??"

"I... may have... finally spoken to her. Y/n, she's so cute. Like, she's so nice and I want to protect her from everything."

"What did you guys talk about?!" Y/n gasped, sitting up quickly.

"You're going to be so disappointed in me..."

"Did you talk about Sonic the Hedgehog again? Karl, I swear—"

"No! But I only said like two words."

"What two words?"

"Um, I said hi, and then she asked how I was and I said good."

"KARL!"

"I know!" he said as he buried his face in his hoodie sleeves. "I'm the worst! I don't know how to talk to her! She's so cute!!!"

Y/n laughed endearingly and pulled his hands away. "My offer still stands, I'll teach you how to flirt if you want."

"No, I still don't believe that you can actually flirt."

"I totally can, but fine. Ask Naomi to help you if you don't trust me. She'd teach you if you want." Y/n looked down at her phone as it lit up with notifications from Twitter.

As if he knew by the smile on her face who it was, Karl challenged, "Flirt with Dream to prove you can."

"I have nothing to prove to you," Y/n mumbled, standing up. "But he wants to call me so I'm going to my room. You're welcome to stay here or go home since Naomi's still in her room too."

"Mkay," Karl said. "I'll just stay here for now. Thanks again for the food."

"No problem, dude." Y/n disappeared to her room and opened Discord on her computer, waiting for Dream to call her. She answered when he finally did.

"Hi, Dream," she smiled into her headset.

"Hi, Bug. What are you up to?"

"Nothing. I was just explaining to Karl how good I am at flirting because he doesn't believe that I'm good."

"I don't either."

"What?" she laughed. "Why does no one think I can? Have you seen all the thirsty people flirting with me on Twitter? You included."

"Yeah, but you hardly flirt back. You just insult us."

"I can flirt when I want to."

"Prove it."

"...I don't want to."

"Why? Because you can only flirt with your boyfriend?"

"Are you trying to get me to admit I have a secret lover?"

"Yes."

"Well too bad, I don't."

"Interesting... so you," he paused, careful with his words, "so you decided... not to listen to whats-his-face?"

"Mhm," she hummed, not trusting her voice to stay steady. Why was she nervous? She crossed her fingers hoping that he wouldn't ask how or why she came to that conclusion. She didn't have a lie ready to hide the fact that it might have something to do with Dream.

"Then there's no reason you can't flirt with me."

Y/n sighed dramatically but still smiled. "Why did you call me? Just to make fun of my flirting abilities?"

"No, I called because I'm bored."

"Wow, so I'm just a backup when GeorgeNotFound and Sapnap are busy?"

"Actually, I called you before I tried either of them."

"Interesting..." she mocked him and he scoffed.

"Stop changing the subject and flirt with me!!! Give me your best pickup line!! Why won't you?"

"How about because I reserve flirting for people who deserve it?"

"Oh, it's that good, huh? You have to be on a VIP list to be flirted with by you?"

"Yeah," she laughed, completely joking. "It's life-changing."

"How do I get on that list?"

"Why do you want me to flirt with you so bad, you weirdo?"

"Because you said it's life-changing! And because I just don't believe that you're good at flirting."

"Why? What about me screams that I'm an awkward mess?"

"Everything!" he laughed. "Every time I've witnessed anyone flirt with you you just get all embarrassed and change the subject. Or on Twitter when we flirt with you, you almost always just reject us outright. People like that aren't smooth."

"Fine. I'll flirt with you, Dream. Not now but when you least expect it and it'll leave you so speechless that you'll never question me again."

"Good. I'm excited."

She snorted lightly and shook her head. "You're ridiculous."

"Oh, hey, you know how I said Sapnap, George, and I wanted to do a big hangout thing with everyone?"

"Yes! Is it happening??"

"Yeah! We still don't know exactly when but George mentioned he thinks New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are stupid holidays so we want to get everyone together in person for that to prove it's a great holiday."

"I mean... I'm kinda with George on this one," Y/n agreed.

"What?! How? It's the start of a New Year! It's an excuse to kiss someone and you start the year with all your friends and loved ones and-"

"It's literally just another day. The only thing that changes is people accidentally put the wrong year when they write dates down for the first month."

Dream laughed. "That's stupid. No. It's a good holiday."

"Whatever. You'll just have to prove to me that it's good."

"I will."

"And the thing you said about having an excuse to kiss someone is stupid. If you wanna kiss someone, just kiss them."

"That easy, huh?"

"Yes."

Dream hummed thoughtfully, a mischievously playful tone to it that made Y/n change the subject slightly to spare her heart from beating too hard.

"So he's coming for New Years'?"

"Okay, yeah, so he doesn't know exactly what date but we're trying to get as many of our friends as we can to come so we have to plan around everyone. Also obviously you and Karl and Naomi are invited."

"Oh, Naomi too? Good, because I think they're talking to each other right now."

"They are," Dream laughed. "George texted me when she added him and he panicked because he doesn't know how to talk to girls."

"What?!" Y/n gasped in offense. "That's his and my thing! Why didn't he text me panicking??"

"He said he was going to text you but since it's your friend he felt awkward."

She grunted. "Fine. I guess that makes sense. Except, I know her better than anyone so I'd be waaay more helpful than you."

"You saying I don't know how to talk to girls?"

"I mean, you've used so many pickup lines on me on Twitter and I'm still not wowed, so yeah, I'd say you aren't as smooth as you'd like to think."

"Bug! What?! I'm totally good at talking to girls," Dream tried to defend, pulling excuses out of his ass. "I just haven't used my best tactics because you're easier to scare away than most. As I said, you can't dish it or take it so I have to use special moves."

"They still haven't worked." The quick beating of her heart and shaking of her hands informed her that that was a lie. Every time he replied to her tweets, the painful grin on her face proved it was a big, fat lie. Maybe she was a little impressed at his "special moves" but she wasn't going to ever admit that to him.

"Whatever, you liar. Anyway, we were thinking of renting a cabin on a lake or something like that for everyone to stay in."

"Oh! Yes, that sounds so fun! I love lake houses so much."

"Good. I'm gonna talk to George and the other brits and see if that's doable. It's gonna happen. I promise. I'm tired of not seeing my friends."

"Wait, how many people are you guys thinking? I'm still nervous about showing people my face..."

"It's a rough list but basically Sapnap, George, Quackity, Karl, Wilbur, Niki, um, Tubbo, Tommy, who else.... I think that's it right now. We'll make sure you know them and are comfortable with them so you don't feel pressured to show strangers who you are."

She nodded to herself. "Okay. I could also just not come if I'm not comfortable with someone—"

"What?!" he asked loudly, genuinely surprised. "Wha— no. We just wouldn't invite them."

"But—"

"I'd way rather have you there than anyone else. Hell, I'd kick George or Sapnap out if you didn't want to show them your face."

"Wait, really?"

"No pressure but I really want you to come and I want to make sure your comfortable."

"What if I don't want to show you my face?"

There was a long pause and Y/n knew he was trying to control his voice so she didn't know he was disappointed or slightly offended. "I mean... I don't know. I guess I... wouldn't go."

Her heart cracked at the sadness in his voice.

"I really don't want you to be pressured into—"

"Dream," she said. "It's okay. I'm probably most comfortable with meeting you over anyone else."

"Really?"

She didn't trust her voice not to sound too sappy and giddy. She didn't trust it a lot when she was around Dream. "Mhm."

"I'm glad," he said happily but softly. "It will be fun. Also, give me your phone number."

"So forward of you, Dream."

"Shut up, I wanna make a group chat."

Y/n laughed and told him her number. "I'm really excited now, Dream! I haven't hung out with people in so long and it sounds like a fun little vacation."

Dream laughed at her excitement. "I just want to hug the shit out of George."

It was Y/n's turn to laugh loudly. "Have you met him in real life yet?"

"No."

"I doubt he'll even let you touch him. He doesn't seem touchy."

"I don't think he is but I don't care. I am very touchy so he won't have a choice but to hug me."

"Ugh, another touchy person. Gross."

"Are you not?"

"Not really. Karl is the touchiest person I have ever met so he's kinda rubbed off on me a little over the years I think, but in general no."

"Oh, yeah, he's already threatened to kiss all of us as soon as we meet," Dream said with a laugh.

"Best to just let it happen. He pouted earlier because I wiped my cheek after he kissed it."

"That doesn't sound like something someone who can flirt would do."

"Because I'm not flirting with Karl!" Y/n groaned but a laugh was behind her words. "What is with you guys?"

"You just can't be on Karl and my level of flirting if we don't see it! Can't be in the gang if you don't show us your skill."

"Just you wait, Dream. You'll see."

"Wait, what about our Minecraft date?"

"What about it?"

"When we do that, you have to flirt with me!"

"No, I don't," she protested with a loud laugh.

"Um, I'm pretty sure it's very rude to not sweet-talk your date. You have to flirt with me then."

Y/n giggled. "Oh yeah? And what if I don't?" She hadn't meant for her voice to come out laced with something suggestive, but if Dream noticed, he thankfully didn't show it.

"Well, we'll just have to keep going on dates until you do."

"Pretty sure forcing someone on dates is illegal, buddy."

Dream laughed. "You agreed to it!!"

"I agreed to the first one," she corrected. "I agreed to one date in exchange for you letting Karl tour me around your server. One."

"Don't worry." Unlike Y/n's, Dream's voice was purposefully laced with something suggestive as he told her, "after our date, it won't take much for you to agree to more."

"Oh whatever," she scoffed, trying to cool her face down with her icy hands. Even they were no match for the heat on her cheeks. "When are we doing this stupid thing anyway?"

"Ah, the smooth talking has begun, I see."

"Dreeeamm..." she whined, growing increasingly tired of the butterflies in her stomach. Why did she suddenly feel so nervous around him? It's not sudden, she told herself.

Dream's cute laugh interrupted her thoughts. "What about tomorrow?"

"I'm streaming Among Us tomorrow."

He groaned. "You never make time for me."

"I cannot stand you," she joked, laughs slipping through her annoyed voice and blowing her cover. "You're the one who said you were too busy to join my lobby. So really you don't make time for me."

"No, no, no," he protested. "I'd make time for one-on-one time with you, just not a game where I hardly get to talk to you."

"Oh my gosh." She rolled her eyes. "How did you turn this around to sound cute again."

"Aw, Bug, you think I'm cute?"

"You ruined it by asking. What are you doing tomorrow anyway?"

"I have to finish a plug-in by tomorrow night so George and I can test it. There's still a lot to fix so it'll probably will take all day."

"Oooh," she cooed. "What's it do?"

"It changes the world every time we take damage," he explained with a hint of pride in his voice.

"What the! That sounds awesome!"

"Thanks," he said shyly, proudness gone now that he was being complimented. "Anyway, George is really busy next week so we have to test it tomorrow night so we can record the next day."

"You probably should finish it then."

"Or you could cancel your stream and we could go on a date."

"Dream!" She laughed. "No! How about next week. Between you editing the video you record, we go on a Minecraft date. How's Thursday?"

"I guess I could fit you into my schedule..."

"I hate you."

His cheeky grin could be heard through his stupid words. "Keep telling yourself that."

PREVIOUS | NEXT

A/N: *sniff* *sniff* yall smell a hater in those twitter screenshots?? hmmm..... 

taglist: OPEN (At the time) (if your blog is in bold, i couldnt tag you, so check your settings so that blogs that dont follow you can tag you!!)  @hydrate-tion​ @loraleiix​ @tinaswagbd​ @charsdummb​ @smileyyuta​ @1ghoste1​ @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge​ @queestionmark​ @carnations-red​ @letsloveimagines​ @the-fictionwriters-hairdo​ @boiled-onionrings​ @a-cryptic​ @fee-btheweeb​ @erwinss​ @just-a-stan​ @axths​ @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad​ @sometimeseverythingsucks​ @powerpuffyn​ @itshaileyn​ @millavalntyne​ @automaticcomputerpaper​ @nikkineeky​ @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ @sprucekot​ @jabby16​ @mae-musicbitch​ @hungoverhellhound​ @dreamyteam​ @kuroo-icedtea​ @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot​ @fangeekkk​ @haseulreturns​ @queenwastaken​ @peteysgf​ @losingvienna​ @bi-narystars​ @zero-nightshade​ @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime​ @youhyakuya​ @danny-devitowo​ @clubfairy​ @loser-keiji​ @oi-itsemily​ @alm334​ @katastrophe-kam @wreny24​ ​ @unicornblood4ever @brendalopez99 @spacecluster @justonemoreepisode199 @strawbrinkofdeath @aha-red​ 

[atlabeth]

transferred part twelve - atla smau

masterlist | part eleven | part thirteen

this takes place about 2 weeks after the last chapter

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well. 

wc: 3.6k 

a/n: i’ve been writing bits and pieces of this since the start of this series so. enjoy. that’s all im gonna say lmao 

warning(s): cursing, mentions of familial death, mentions of abuse, some angst but also some fluff. this is kind of a heavy chapter because both zuko and y/n talk about their past, but there is fluff at the end. 

~~~~~~~~

You pushed your hair out of your face and tried to blink the sleep out of your eyes, catching a glimpse of the time on the corner of your laptop. 

3:23 AM. 

You should’ve been asleep a long time ago, but all of your professors had decided to schedule tests in the same week so it was one of many, many late nights you had had lately. You thought that they would cool down because midterms were coming up, but BSSU professors kept proving you wrong. Late nights like these were becoming a regular occasion, and right now you just needed a break. 

The tea dates with Zuko were the only things keeping you sane. But could you even call them dates? 

It was the two of you, together, sitting and talking over tea for hours, and they were happening multiple times a week. In fact, you and him had gotten tea together exactly 9 times in the past two weeks — and that wasn’t even counting all the talking during your shared shifts. 

Katara, Suki, and Toph told you that they were dates, you wanted them to be dates, but there was a part of you that was so incredibly scared that you were wrong — that moving past that bridge would ruin the friendship that you cherished so much with Zuko — that you kept things solely platonic. No matter how much you wanted to kiss him every time he gave you that smile. 

But thinking about the complicated relationship you had found yourself entangled in with Zuko wasn’t a break, no matter how many times you had pondered over it before falling asleep in the wee hours of the night. 

You closed your laptop and grabbed your jacket that had been carelessly tossed on a stool at the kitchen island, making sure to sneak out of the apartment as quietly as you could. You opted to work in the living room, choosing to camp out on the sofa whenever you had to stay up as late as this, just so you wouldn’t wake up Sokka. Your brother had no idea how much you did for him. 

The cool breeze hitting your face and the shining stars in the sky were a welcome change of scenery from the lifelessness that was your apartment at night and your computer screen that you were sure was going to cause you eye issues later in life with how bright it was. 

You took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling the crisp night air, and started to walk. You were sure you looked like a mess. You were wearing some flannel pajama pants, a BSSU tank top, tennis shoes, and Zuko’s jacket.  He had never asked for it back after that night at the party, and when you had showed up to one of your hangouts wearing it, he told you that you could keep it — “it looks better on you anyways” — so you did. 

There was something calming about the atmosphere. You knew that a lot of women were anxious about going out at night, especially alone, but that was why you had taken self defense classes. Being friends with Suki was a self defense class in its own, and it was very much appreciated. You allowed yourself to get lost in your thoughts, trying to give yourself the break that you deserved, when the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. 

“You know, it’s not safe to be out alone at this hour.” 

You let out a scream at the unexpected voice and whirled around, your fists already up to defend yourself. When you saw who it was, you laughed, completely shocked, and hit your hands against your legs, trying to calm your rapidly beating heart. 

“Holy shit, Zuko, you can’t just sneak up on someone like that!” you wheezed. You had no doubt that he only had good intentions, but for a second you thought someone was going to try and kill you. You had to admit, the scare was worth it to see the mix of horror and embarrassment on Zuko’s face.

“I’m so sorry!” His hands were held up placatingly in front of him and he let out a nervous laugh as well, but it did nothing to cover up the wide eyes he stared at you with. “I am so sorry, I didn’t even think about that. I- I was just up studying too, and I heard you leaving so I thought you could use some company- I swear, I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything!” 

You shook your head but couldn’t stop the smile on your lips, gesturing for him to come closer while you caught your breath. “It’s fine. Come on, walk with me.”

He fell into step beside you and the two of you walked in silence for a while, the only disruptions being the occasional car that drove by. It was eerily quiet, but with Zuko, it was nice. 

“So-”

“So-” 

Both of you laughed when you each interrupted the other, and when you motioned for Zuko to go first he shook his head. You paused for a moment, the question on the tip of your tongue, before you decided to take the plunge. 

“I’ve been wondering since I got here; how did you end up as friends with—” You gestured around with your hands. “—this whole crew? It’s kind of a weird combination of people, so I guess I just wanna know how you became a part of it.” 

Zuko sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing your eyes to widen a little bit as a stammered apology came out. “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to-” He gave you a tight smile and shook his head. 

“No, it’s fine. You should know about my life if— if we’re going to keep living together.” He knew the moment he met you, the moment he agreed to let you live with all of them, that he would have to explain his past to you. Hell, your siblings might have already told you some of it — he could only hope you’d still want to be his friend after he was done. 

“”I.. I wasn’t the best person in the past. I was a horrible person actually, and I consider myself extremely lucky that I was given so many chances to change. I hurt people. Bullied people. Got into fights just because I could. I was just- horrible is the only way to describe it. But your siblings, Toph, Aang? They were all people that decided to give me one of those chances, and they’re a huge reason that I am who I am today.” Zuko spoke slowly, and you could tell that this was something he didn’t open up to many people about. You smiled softly at him and nodded, letting him know that he could go on. 

“I don’t know how much you know about my father, but he’s the CEO of our family company. He’s been this huge presence in the business world for as long as I can remember, and he’s responsible for all the wealth and fame that our family has today. And when I was younger, I idolized him. I thought he was the greatest man in the world, that he could do no wrong, and I just followed him blindly. He was the most important person in my life, but.. I was nothing to him.” 

“He didn’t care about his friends, or- or his family, he only cared about power. My mother left when I was young, we haven’t heard a word from her since, and- and I don’t even know if he cared. My father would do whatever it took to become as powerful as he could, and that meant—” Zuko’s voice was getting louder and he cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. There was a certain hollowness behind his eyes, and it tore you to pieces. “That meant hurting anyone that went against him. Including his children.”  

“I have a sister, Azula. She’s a prodigy in every sense of the word, and my father used it, used her. She was clearly his favorite, and it drove me insane. I mean, I did everything for his approval, but he only cared about Azula. We had a good relationship when we were younger, but my father molded her into the kind of person he wanted her to be, and— and I was jealous of her. He used that against us, purposefully staked the fire of our competition, one that I thought I could somehow win. But we had both already lost the second we started fighting against each other.” 

“It took me a long time to realize that.. that he was abusing us. I mean, he gave me this scar all because I spoke out of turn, and— and I still thought that I could earn his favor, that he deserved to earn my favor! He threw me out of the house when I was thirteen, and I went to live with my uncle. It took an even longer time, but with his help, and the support of your siblings and their friends, I was able to break the cycle. I was horrible to them at first, all of them, and I hated my father for what he did, but it was probably the thing that saved me.”  “And Azula.. leaving her will always be my biggest regret. My biggest mistake. I should’ve forced her to come with me when I was kicked out, I should’ve done something sooner, because maybe she wouldn’t have turned out the way she did.” He swallowed hard, his voice strained. “I came back for her once I was stable, and I helped her get out. I helped her get a therapist. It’s been a long process, but she’s getting better every day. But not a day goes by where I don’t think about what I could’ve done to help her more.”

You instinctively reached out for Zuko’s hand, and to your surprise, he took it without question. You gave his hand a small squeeze and led him over to a nearby bench — without realizing it, the two of you had entered a public park that was near the complex. When you sat down together, you moved so that one of your legs was crossed in front of you and the other was hanging down so you could face him. 

“Zuko.. I am so, so sorry. I don’t think any amount of apologies will be able to get how I feel across, but.. you didn’t deserve to go through that. No one deserves to go through that.” You took both of his hands, thankful for the warmth they provided. “Listen to me. Are you listening to me?” 

He gave a pained smile and nodded. “Yes, Y/N. I’m listening to you.” 

“You are not who you were in middle school. You are not who you were in high school. Okay? Your father is a horrible man, and you wouldn’t have done any of those things if it wasn’t for him. What you did when you were younger wasn’t okay, but the fact that you have so much remorse for it today proves that you’re a good person. Zuko, you are a good person, one of the best men that I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve only known you for a few months.” 

You were subconsciously rubbing calming circles into the back of his hands —  hands that were still holding yours — while you talked, but it was all Zuko could think about.  “I know you feel guilty about leaving your sister, but you did what you had to do to get out. You came back for her, and you’ve helped her get better. She’s grateful for it, Zuko, I know that much.” 

“Everyone else has forgiven you,” you murmured, staring deep into the fire he held in his eyes. “You deserve to forgive yourself.”

The silence that passed while you gazed into each other’s eyes felt like it lasted an eternity, when really it was only about a minute. Zuko was the first to break it, clearing his throat and looking everywhere but at you as his words tumbled out. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you at once.”

“It’s okay, Zuko, really. I understand; sometimes you just need to talk to somebody. You don’t know how much it means to me that you trusted me with all of that. And.. if we’re still baring our souls to each other, then I guess I have some things that you should know as well.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek; were you really about to tell Zuko about what happened? Most people knew that your mother was dead — killed in a drunk driving accident when you were ten — but you had never told anyone, not even your father or your siblings, about the full effect it had on you. But his eyes told you more than he ever could, and in that moment you knew it would be okay. You could trust him with something you had never trusted anyone else with.

“I’m sure you know that my mother died when I was young.” He nodded and you swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in your throat. “It was.. hard. Really hard, on all of us. It was just so unexpected that we didn’t know what to do. We didn’t really have any money to spare, so my dad had to keep working, and I had to take care of Sokka and Katara. I was only eleven, but I basically had to take over the ‘mom’ role. Our grandmother came down to take care of us so we wouldn’t just be a bunch of kids living on our own, but even with her and Katara’s help, it was still hard. Sokka and Katara had to grow up much faster than they should’ve, even though I tried to shield them as much as I could.” 

“It was.. a lot. I won’t lie to you, it was a lot. Maybe too much.” A mirthless laugh hung in the air and you had to blink back the tears threatening to spring. “My mother was.. amazing. She was the only one who truly got me, you know? She was just this— this beautiful spirit in the world, and she brought light wherever she went. And when she died, it left this.. huge, gaping hole in my heart, one that I’m still trying to fill. I- I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fill it. I thought as I got older it would be easier, but i-it’s not. The three of us joke around by calling Katara mom because of how she is, and they sometimes do it to me, and I know that’s all they are, jokes, but some part of it still hurts.” 

You were rambling now, spilling your soul to Zuko, going into the most mundane details that you had never told anyone. You had taken away the dam that had been holding back the waters of your emotions for so long, and now Zuko was going to drown in them. But you couldn’t stop.

“It’s the reason why I didn’t drive for so long. I didn’t want to, I was terrified of it because of what happened to my mother, but someone needed to be able to take Sokka and Katara around. And- and as I got older, and I started going to parties and people started drinking, I never did. I couldn’t, I was always the designated driver, because I couldn’t leave that in someone else’s hands. I had to be in control, because if I let someone go, then it was like I was killing my mother all over again, and it’s the reason why I always have to be the one driving—” 

You paused to take a deep breath, and as you looked down at your hands, you realized they were shaking. Not just your hands, but your entire body. What the hell were you doing? You let out a tearful laugh, covering your mouth with one hand and shaking your head. “God, I am so sorry, I— I don’t know what got into me.”

Zuko’s eyes never left yours, his own glassy, and he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. Like you said, it helps to tell someone. A-and— I know how you feel, what it’s like feeling like you have to give up the world for your siblings. But you have to take care of yourself too. You’re not just what you can give to other people. You are your own person.”

He was thankful that you trusted him enough to tell you something like this about yourself, something that your own blood didn’t even know, but it also made him realize that you had always trusted him. 

Your point about driving. You liked to be in control so that if something did go wrong, there wouldn’t be any thoughts of what you could’ve done. If something happened, it was because of you and only you. And on your first day of classes, and many trips since, you had let him drive. It was something so small, so insignificant to anyone, but to you it was a sign of trust. 

You trusted him. 

“You’re shivering.” Your voice snapped Zuko back to reality and he shrugged, the smallest smile playing on his lips. 

“I wouldn’t be if someone had given me my jacket back,” he joked. You elbowed him in the chest and stood up, holding out your hand for him to take to help him up as well. Zuko took it and you ignored the butterflies that erupted, setting a steady pace as the two of you walked. 

“We should get back to the apartment. It’s late, and you need to sleep,” you chided. 

“You have bags the size of baseballs under your eyes. I think you need sleep just as much as I do.” 

“I’m special,” you shot back with a grin.

Yeah, you are, Zuko thought. 

The walk back to the apartment was shrouded in comfortable silence and intertwined hands, something that neither of you made any move to change.

~~~~~~~~

Soon enough you had gotten back to your rooms — such a small apartment meant that they were right next to each other — and as you turned on your heel to face him, a shy smile played on your lips. “Thank you. For, uh- coming after me. For listening to me.” 

“Of course,” he nodded. The two of you stood in silence for a while, and then Zuko reached out his hand. Your breath caught in your throat as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and the close proximity combined with the surprisingly intimate act caused your cheeks to heat up once more. It was like you were caught in a trance.

Your gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips for just a moment, and you could’ve sworn that he did the same. The air between the two of you was crackling with unseen electricity, and before you could question yourself you were leaning forward. 

You felt him lean in as well as your eyes fluttered shut, and his lips ghosted over yours. Your eyes snapped open and you stared at him, your lips slightly parted in disbelief — he just kissed you. Zuko just kissed you. It was like time had stopped — and then it all came crashing down. His lips came back to yours with an intense fervor, cupping your face in his hands to get as close to you as possible.

It was bliss in the purest sense. You reciprocated immediately, tangling a hand in his dark hair, letting out a soft gasp as your back hit the wall. Despite how many times you had imagined this moment, nothing could compare to the real thing. It was passionate but gentle all the same, and the warmth that spread through your whole body was familiar — it was Zuko. 

Your mind was a jumbled mess. It was split a million different ways; one part suddenly very worried about how your hair looked, one hoping that Sokka and Aang couldn’t hear you, another that didn’t care, but most of them were just screaming about how oh my god you were kissing Zuko.

You knew your whole face was flushed when you finally pulled away, and the warmth of his lips lingered as the two of you stared at each other, breathing slightly labored. You tentatively reached out your hand and softly, carefully traced your finger over a part of his scar. He flinched at the contact instinctively, but you felt him relax and even lean into your touch. It meant more than you could ever say, especially knowing what you knew now. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you murmured, your touch impossibly soft against the cracked skin of his scar. “And you’re stronger than anyone knows. Than you know.” 

You kissed him again, shorter and sweeter than the first but just as tender, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips against yours as he returned it. You smiled at him and pushed your door open behind you, equal parts nervous and exhilarated about what just happened. “Goodnight, Zuko,” you whispered, shining eyes never leaving his until you closed the door.  

As soon as you were in your room you turned around and leaned against the door, smiling to yourself like an idiot. Your hand ghosted over your cheek, the spot where his hands had been, and you sighed dreamily. You had no idea how you were going to be able to finish studying. 

This was definitely more than a small crush. 

~~~~~~~~~~

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also i am so sorry i suck at writing kiss scenes dont roast me please

[lululawrence]

hello!! i was wondering if u had a werewolf tag for fics? i would search it but not sure how to use tumblr that well :)) if not do u have recs? LOVE U HAVE A NICE DAY<333

hi babes! i don't have one here... damn that's a fucking great idea. hahaha i'm HORRIBLY unorganized when it comes to tags for fics on tumblr. i mostly use ao3 for the organization of fics. so! that said, i defo DO have recs for you!

you didn't specify pairing, which makes me smile because i get to rec rare pairs in addition to larry and hope you read them hehe okay, here we go!

He Carries The Key by me (8k, NR, niall/louis) - this fic is the only one of mine i'll include, okay? promise haha but it is also one i wrote for wordplay just a week or two ago and it's werewolves and a pack fic and i just had a lot of fun. very soft. much fluff. many feels. i hope you enjoy. lol

There's Fur Everywhere by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (4k, G, Harry/Louis) - this is a 5 times fic, and it's HYSTERICAL. it feels slightly spoilery for me to even be including it on this list, but also... it's still fucking hilarious. emmu is queen of the crack fic that makes you feel all the soft and wonderful things, and she doesn't disappoint with this one.

I Hear Them Calling for You by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic is... not for everyone. like at all. please please please read the tags and the summary and if you don't like it or it makes you uncomfortable, then close right out of it. as for ME i loved what she explored with it, all the emotions and the story and worldbuilding of it all. i thought it was fantastic and incredibly interesting. it is A/B/O, pack fic with claiming and... yeah. it's amazing.

Campus Creatures by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything and @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (25k, E, Harry/Louis) - werewolves! vampires! fae! university! frat houses! science research positions being vied for! enemies to lovers! like... not sure what more you could ASK for, but there's also a fuck ton of humor and nudity and sexual tension and... it's just a lot of fun. can't go wrong, really. haha

From What I've Tasted of Desire by @evilovesyou / 4ureyesonly28 (72k, T, Harry/Louis) - okay so i'm including this one even though like... harry and louis aren't werewolves. but it's a twilight au, so there ARE werewolves and i'm ASSUMING you know twilight and therefore know that means you know they're pretty involved and... that's true for this fic too. ahha for real, though, i love evi's writing and this fic was one of my first introductions to it and it was a fun read, so i wanted to include it in case it had enough of the werewolf flair to entice you haha

Compete Against the Stars by @daggerandrose / amomentoflove (31k, M, Harry/Louis) - omg okay so this one is like ANGSTY AF and i FUCKING LOVE IT because it's one of those fics that you HOPE you have figured out, and you probably do, but also there's SO many twists and turns to it all that you just have NO idea how it's all gonna work out and omg are they gonna just ruin it all for themselves by being stupid and ahhhhh the tension of just FIGURING OUT HOW THEY GET IT ALL TO WORK OUT!!! and of course it does. hahaha but HOW??? this is a RIDE and in my mind feels like a longer fic than 31k in the best of ways, they did an amazing job of packing a LOT of world building and storytelling into those 31k.

the straight for your heart (wolfpack au) series by foreverkneeld and foundfamilyvevo (96k, T/G, Multiple or No pairings including Niall/Louis, Zayn/Liam, OT5, and Shawn/Niall) - This series is the ultimate hurt/comfort and healing pack fic series omg. it was recommended to me when i was in a super hard time and my anxiety was so bad i couldn't focus on anything. These short fics that all focused so much on healing and found family were exactly what i needed. so so soft, so lovely. I still haven't read them all because i'm saving them for when i need them. they're glorious.

when the air ran out and we both started running wild by darlingjustdont (48k, M, Nick/Louis) - OMG OKAY LISTEN THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVS. a tomlinshaw werewolf pack fic?! ahhhhhhhhh i was SO happy when i discovered this one. louis is alpha of the pack and things are... shaky, shall we say. there's a lot going on that he's worried about and then he meets nick and it's kind of enemies to lovers? okay, more than kind of. but omg the FEELS. SO. MANY. FEELS. but also danger and a;lsdgkhas;ldfkja just please read this and rave with me because i don't have many i can talk about this one with and i LOVE IT.

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx (185k, M, Harry/Louis) - i had no idea this fic was so long hahahaha wow ANYWAY louis is human, but he's always been close with harry and therefore basically a part of his pack. but then one day harry leaves and louis kind of accidentally becomes the pack alpha. even though he's human. but there's SO much more to it. there's just sooooo much with the friendship and the pack bond as well as the danger and trying to figure out what the hell is going on... it's just a LOT and one of those epic fics that i still think about even though i read it...a year and a half ago i guess. but it's amazing and i highly recommend it if the word count doesn't scare you away haha

Canyon Moon by @eeveelou / delsicle (41k, E, Harry/Louis) - this is a lion king au, made a/b/o werewolves! i really enjoyed this one a lot, actually, because i could absolutely see the parallels, but also the way it was adapted made it so it wasn't always obvious how it would all play out. it was a really interesting and cool world building as well.

The Truth I Can't Explain (Smoke and Mirrors) by @fallinglikethis / FallingLikeThis (9k, M, Harry/Louis) - ohhhhh this one is SO cool cause it's by tabby so she made it incredibly fun and fascinating to try to figure out. there's magic and mages and werewolves and feuds and they're basically on the eve of battle and holy cow it's just SO cool.

One Touch Is Never Enough by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (4k, E, Harry/Louis) - once again lauren delivers and there's just so much i keep giggling about with this because it is SO fun. there's a lot that louis is dealing with in this fic hahaha and the way she writes it all is so funny. the poor man just wants a fucking massage! lololol it's lighthearted, humorous, and basically filled with fluff, crack, and smut. hahaha

Knot Safe For Work by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - a;sldkgha;lfdkjas listen i forgot about this fic until i found it in my bookmarks for werewolves because jenna writes so many fucking amazing fics that when i think of werewolves, i think of at least two others first, but i could NOT do this rec without this fic because now that i remember it exists i am going to have to go and read it again! hahaha harry's a werewolf, louis is a wizard, there's knotting dildos and table sex and... just read it. lolol

Saving's What I Need by @jaerie / jaerie (17k, M, Harry/Louis) - writer louis is out for a drive one day and he hits a dog. THIS POOR DOG! he takes it to the vet and tries his best to take care of it... but things are not as they seem. because yeah, harry is defo not a dog. lollllll this fic was hilarious and sweet and omg there's just so much to love about it. there were so many more emotions in it than i expected. loooove!

Out of the Wild by @jaerie / jaerie (22k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic has such fun world building, which is actually a huge strength of jenna's fics and you'll hear me rave about it with all 50 of her fics that will end up on this rec list (not really 50, but ya know lol). louis is a fairly wild and undomesticated wolf and harry's from the city and they end up as roommates during the x factor process. oh my word this fic is so fun because of all the challenges they're going through PLUS the wolf side of things and just... the way they work together and navigate it all as well as falling for each other is pure gold.

Out With The Old, In With The New by, you guessed it, @jaerie / jaerie (7k, E, Harry/Louis) - listen, just. this one is smutty as hell and it's gonna take you some places that some people will be uncomfortable with, which is totally valid and fair. please be sure to read the tags and make your decision on whether or not to read accordingly, but also know that its written in a super interesting way that is also pretty amazing if you do decide to give it a shot. lol

Instincts by @marastarfar / StarFar ( 100k so far - it's a WIP!, T, Harry/Louis) - omg listen. i LOVE mara's fics so much and when this first posted it was a one shot little thing that was FASCINATING. i loved it! and then i was happily surprised when i learned more was added to it. and then it was turned into a wip and omg i am so far behind now but i trust mara with my life because i love everything i've read by them and what i've read of this so far is INCREDIBLE so just. yeah. lollll

There's a Power in What You Do by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (7k, T, Harry/Louis) - i just read my comment i left on this one and it was just mainly me begging for time stamps because there wasn't any way for her to improve upon the perfection of this fic (nesting! softness! even a silly comment in her endnotes to perfectly cap it all!), but i still wanted to remain in the story just a bit longer and learn more about them. hahaha anyway, those time stamps aren't happening, but this fic is still complete perfection.

amaryllis by @hattalove / hattalove (147k, E, Harry/Louis) - for a long time this was thought of as THE werewolf fic. if anyone was talking about a werewolf fic, it was probably this one. is that still the case? probably. i'm not sure. ANYWAY. there's a REASON it was THE werewolf fic and that's because this is amazing. it sucks you in and you feel like you're truly a part of the action. it's filled with the vibe of found family and wanting to figure out what happened while also adjusting to your new life and just... so many feelings. so much angst. SO fantastically epic.

[myhockeyworld87]

Bubble Wrapped - Part 14

Word Count: 3,417

POV: Reader

Warnings: Same as always, Language, Smut, NSFW, Please see the note in the Masterlist

Teams: Bruins, Caps, Flyers, Lightning, Pens, Jackets, Canes, Islanders

Notes: Well, here we are onto another part of Bubble Wrapped. When we last left this story, our reader had just had a magical date with Matt Barzal. Will she stick with him of go looking for someone new to hook up. So I’m hoping the wrap this story up in a couple more parts. As always feedback is greatly appreciated and wanted…hahaha! Luv ya all!! Happy Reading to all! Also sorry for posting this late. I’ll queue for tomorrow afternoon as well.

As soon as you said goodbye to Mat, you checked on how things were going at the hotel. Tomorrow would be another hectic day as the Canes would be moving out and the Islanders moving in, and you wanted to make sure everything was in order. By the time you got up to the suite, both Dougie and Svech were already upstairs in their room, though you found Joel over at the bar pouring himself a dram of one the most expensive whiskeys you had.

 “Don’t worry, you can bill me or I’ll have a bottle shipped here to replace it,” he said before taking a healthy swallow of the strong spirit.

 “I’m not worried about it. Pour me one if you don’t mind.”

 “Really? Never took you for a whiskey girl.”

 “My father taught me to appreciate it,” you told him taking the glass he offered, then sipping the amber liquid. “And well, this is something that should be appreciated. Sorry about the game.”

 “I’m not sure you are.”

 “And what does that mean exactly?”

 Joel eyed you suspiciously. “Please after that little scene downstairs. I’m sure you’ll be happy to be rid of us.”

 You knew that he had seen you with Mat. That he was taking it like this stunned you, for honestly, you thought Svech would be more of a problem than Joel. Taking a deep breath and exhaling it, you attempted to explain. “I’m not sure what you want me to say, Joel. We never promised anything or talked about anything more after that one night.”

 “I didn’t think we had to,” he said rather harshly, and you gave him a look of warning to keep it down knowing that Dougie and Svech were upstairs. “When you share something like we did, it sort of speaks for itself.”

 “Apparently, it doesn’t.” The look of hurt on his face sent a horrible twist in your gut. “I’m sorry Joel. I didn’t think that it was anything more than just a one-time thing for you.”

 He downed the rest of his whiskey, his fingers almost white as he gripped the crystal. “I guess that’s all it was for you.” You knew you’d been playing a dangerous game with these men. Which is why when you were with Mat tonight, you thought you needed to end it. This bubble would be over soon, and you knew you had some decisions to make.

 “I don’t know what you want me to say. You never asked me out. Mat did. It’s as simple as that.” You knew that really wasn’t a valid explanation but it was all you had. “Maybe if this,” you said motioning between the two of you. “Happened at a different time or a different place, but it didn’t.”

 His shoulders sagged and you could see the defeat not only from the game but you as well, in his eyes. “And now I’m leaving in the morning.”

 “Unfortunately, you are.”

 He released the glass, and moved from behind the bar, walking so that only inches separated the two of you. “Well, if you ever change your mind, let me know.” He grabbed your waist and hauled you close to his body before his lips came down on yours. The kiss was hard and punishing, one meant to leave a lasting impression and it did. There was part of you that just wanted to melt into him, but then you pushed him back, knowing that it wasn’t right when you had feelings for another. Well more than one person actually, and to throw someone else in the mix wasn’t right. “Goodbye, (Y/N).” With that he headed upstairs, leaving you to wonder if you’d ever see him again.

 You grabbed the glass of whiskey and downed the rest of its contents. The taste of the expensive alcohol lost on you. You stood by the bar wondering how the hell you’d gotten yourself in this predicament. For years you’d watched the bachelor or bachelorette wondering how their feelings could be so torn between two people in so little time. Now, you found yourself with that same dilemma. Your heart was already torn by three men and now it ached for Joel, though not in the same way it did for the other guys. You headed to your room, locking the door behind you. The last thing you needed was Svech coming to your door in the middle of the night.

 Sleep came easily, and by the time you woke in the morning the men were all packed and ready to go. You bid them all farewell, noting a hint of sadness in both Joel and Andrei, though you pushed it away and went on with your day. By the afternoon, thoughts of the Canes were starting to dwindle as you worked towards moving the New York based team into the hotel. You saw Mat wink at you, as room assignments were given, and butterflies started to churn in your stomach.

 They had a game that night, so you didn’t expect to see Mat at all. The knock on your door that evening was a surprise, and you barreled down the stairs to answer it. “Do you always answer the door in nothing but a t-shirt?” Mat asked.

 “Um…No. I actually forgot this was all I had on. I was just getting ready for bed, but I can go change.”

 “No. Don’t. I wasn’t complaining,” he told you as he finally stepped inside, and kissed your cheek. “Hope it’s not too late?”

 “It’s not.” It was then that you realized your hair was thrown up in a messy bun and you had absolutely not one drop of makeup on your face. “I’m just surprised you’re here after moving in and playing tonight. I thought you’d be exhausted.”

 Mat simply shrugged. “Not really, kind of keyed up from the win. Did you watch?”

 You had of course, but you were also watching the Stars and Tyler, or at least you had been until Mat knocked on your door. “Of course, you played well.” He had even though he didn’t score.

 “Thanks, I didn’t mean to bug you,” he told you glancing around the suite and taking everything in. “I just wanted to stop by and see you for a minute. You know…now that I’m in the building and all.”

 The two of you were standing at the door still somewhat awkwardly. Why did this man make you so nervous all of the sudden? “You’re not bugging. Did you want to stay for a while?”

 Mat had his hands in his pockets, almost as if he was trying to keep them from pulling off what little clothes you had on. “I’d like that.”

 “Have a seat. I’m just going to run upstairs, turn off the tv, and uh….” You motioned down to your attire or lack thereof. Mat stopped you though, right as you made a move to leave.

 “Seriously (Y/N), don’t change.” His hands went to your hips and he drew your body close to his. “You look sexy as hell like this, and that’s me telling you the truth. I’m not trying to make a move or something. We can just cuddle on the couch for a bit.”

 Your arms looped around his neck, enjoying the feel of his thick muscles there. “Ok.” You kissed him then, just sweet and tenderly, half hoping that it would turn into more, but Mat pulled away before that could happen and led you to the couch. He pulled you down onto his lap, curling your body into his.

 “I thought about this all day.” He confessed.

 “Did you?”

 “Mmmhmm.” His large hands began to caress your skin and you felt yourself melting into him. “So, what were you watching.”

 “I just had whatever game was on.”

 “Oh, watching the competition huh? Should I be worried?”

 “Maybe a little,” you teased though only partly considering you did have feelings for Tyler.

 “Oh, ok,” he scoffed a little. “Hand me the remote and let me see who my competition is.” It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you found yourself giving him the control to turn on the game.  The Stars were playing Calgary that night, in what appeared to be their final game of the series if the score was any indication. “Tell me you’re not talking to Tkachuk?” Mat seemed almost offended at the idea.

 “He’s a little young for me.” Matthew Tkachuk was older than Svech, though not by much. Had the opportunity ever presented itself you may have fallen in bed with the curly-haired forward, but couldn’t see anything lasting with him.

 “He’s not that much younger than me, but I like that he’s not on your radar. So, let me see who else do we have here.” You could see him watching each line change and knew that you needed to deter him before he guessed Tyler and you’d end up giving yourself away. “Is it Hanifin? He’s a year younger than me I think.” You grabbed the remote and clicked off the television. “Hey, what’d you do that for?”

 “Because I’m not going to spend all night having you guess about someone that isn’t here in this room with me.” You threaded your fingers through the longer locks at the nape of his neck. “Especially when we could be doing so many other things.” You pulled his mouth down on yours, kissing him hard and letting him know what you really wanted now that he was here.

 Mat read your cue perfectly. His tongue swept in and took control, ravaging your mouth and stealing you of your senses. He cupped both of your cheeks, practically fusing your lips to his in a breath-stealing kiss. The two of you stayed like that for some time, neither of you making a move to take it any further, but then you felt his hand slide down to your neck and over your back. The move was subtle and gentle, and Mat’s warm hand on your back had you leaning in even closer to his body; wanting and needing more. Before you knew it, you found yourself shifting, so that you straddled his hips.

 Mat’s hands stole under the hem of your shirt, to cup the globes of your ass, and a gasp left your lips causing the two of you to break apart. “I promised myself I wouldn’t take things this far tonight,” Mat whispered, his breathing harsh.

 “That’s a pretty big promise to make without even consulting me,” you teased, peppering him with kisses.

 “I just don’t want you to think that I’m only here for sex.” The look on his face, had you pulling back. “I meant what I said last night when I told you I want more.”

 You sat back on your haunches, still straddling him and feeling his erection growing. “I know Mat. Look, I can’t promise you anything…” His wounded puppy dog eyes were slowly killing you. “Yet. I still need time to think.”

 “I understand.” You weren’t entirely sure he did, for he looked like a lost puppy.

 “I can make you one promise though.” You tilted his chin up, which had fallen down in dejection moments ago. “While we’re here in Toronto, I won’t be with anyone else but you.”

 The sadness in his eyes left, replaced by a sparkle of hope. “That’s all I can ask.” Mat kissed you then, his tongue invading your mouth, swirling with yours. This time when his hands went to the hem of your shirt they didn’t stop until he had it off of your body, leaving you clad in nothing but a lacy thong. “God, you’re beautiful.” His hands glided up your sides until they reached the undersides of your breasts. He cupped them both, squeezing and kneading the flesh in his hands, as your back arched into his palms. Mathew’s lips traveled down your collarbone, only stopping once he had one nipple between them. You moaned into the room, clutching at his scalp as he sucked and nibbled on the little peak.

 Your hips started to rock back and forth against Mat’s, feeling his erection grow against you. “Where’s the bedroom?” Mat hissed out lifting both of your bodies off the sofa. Your legs wrapped around him instinctively. “I’m not taking you on some couch again.”

 You softly chuckled at him. “Upstairs, on the right.” He was taking the stairs two at a time as if you weighed no more than a feather. You clutched at his neck dropping kisses to his face and collarbone along the way. Once he entered your bedroom, he slammed the door shut. “No one else is here…” You meant to tell him that there was no need to shut the door, but then he pinned you against it, his hips thrusting into yours and you moaned out.

 Mat kissed you long and hard, stealing your breath away. You could feel yourself growing wet with desire as your tongues mated together, mimicking what your bodies wanted to do. Mat finally pulled away, his eyes darting around the room in search of the bed. Once he located it, he carried you over to it, laying you down gently while his body hovered over yours. “You’re so damn beautiful.” You reached for him then, bringing his lips to yours, just needing to kiss him again. Mat’s kisses were intoxicating. They made you feel as if they were only meant for kissing you and damn if that didn’t feel amazing. But then they were gone, though still on your body making their way down to your breasts, before continuing on to your core.

 He slid your panties off and spread your legs, as he dropped kisses all around your pussy, evading that one place you yearned to have him kiss. Mat stripped off his shirt before kneeling in front of you and sliding you to the edge, so he could work his way up your inner thigh. You leaned up on your elbows watching, as a smirk crossed his face; a devilish grin transforming him into a kid that had been caught opening his Christmas presents early, right before his lips found your clit. “Ooohh,” you moaned out, your head falling back and your arms trembling with an effort to hold your upper body up, as his mouth did unholy things to you.

 “You like that baby?” Mat asked and you could feel him grinning against your cunt. His tongue flattened against you before you could answer and all you could do to reward him was moan out his name. You fell back against the bed, your hands clutching at the bedsheets, as he pushed his tongue deep inside you.

 “Fuck,” you hissed out, one hand threading into his locks and encouraging him to continue. His tongue was like magic, as he licked and sucked at your core. You couldn’t help your hips lifting up into him, as sensation after sensation started to rip through your body. Mat held you down with one strong arm across your midsection, still working his mouth over you. Pressure from his splayed hand on your mons rocketed through your body and you thought you were going to explode then and there, but then Mat dipped his finger inside you, only in to his first knuckle while he lapped at your clit. You were teetering on the edge, ready to break at any second but Mat wasn’t ready for that just yet. He removed his finger, coated with your wetness, and spread it all over your pussy.

 “You’re so damn wet, baby. Do you know what that does to me? How hard it makes me.” Fuck you loved it when he said things like this. His finger dipped back inside, this time all the way and you groaned out at how good it made you feel. He pumped it in and out of you a few times before adding another. “You’re so tight. Gotta get you ready for my cock, baby.” God, you wanted it. You wanted him to just thrust his dick inside you and fuck you for the rest of your time in the bubble. Maybe it was your hips thrusting into his hand or maybe Mat was just taking pity on you, but the next thing you knew his tongue was back on your clit and you were shattering beneath him. Your pussy convulsing around his fingers as they worked you through your orgasm.

 Mat gave you a second to recover, ridding himself of the rest of his clothes as you caught your breath. When you finally did, you made your way up the bed a little more, Mat chasing you as he hovered over your body. He kissed you, as you sunk back against the pillows; tasting yourself on his lips. His cock nudged at your entrance, and you bent your knees to give him easier access into you. Mat took his time sliding into you, letting you feel every inch of his cock. When he was buried balls deep inside you, he moaned into your mouth, loving how your pussy clenched around him. You hooked one of your legs around his hips so that he pressed even deeper into your core, only then did he release your lips. “Are you trying to kill me?” All you could do was grin up at him before he flexed his hips and started to move. You were lost then, floating on a cloud that pushed you closer to that slice of heaven that seemed to only be found when he was inside you.

 The two of you moved as one, and all that could be heard in your bedroom was the sound of your bodies coming together mixed with your moans. Mat couldn’t control himself, he knew he was close to climaxing inside you, yet he pushed himself to bring you to that brink with him; driving into you with a force he knew that would bring you pleasure. When he couldn’t take it any longer, he wedged his hand between your bodies and rubbed your clit, with the right amount of pressure that drove you wild. That was all it took. Your back arched, your legs trembled, and your pussy quivered around him as the orgasm hit you. At the first sign of you cumming, Mat was done, so far gone in his own climax he couldn’t think straight.

 His body still shivered from the force of the orgasm, as he rolled to his side taking you with him. You laid there staring into his eyes as he gazed back at you. “Can you stay or do you need to go back to your room?”

 “Oh, I can stay, as long as you want me.” His hand was idly stroking your hair as you drew lazy circles on his chest, so content and at peace just being there with him.

 “Of course, I want you to stay.” There was nothing you wanted more than to lay just like this in his arms for the rest of the night and into tomorrow. You felt him get a bit more comfortable, shifting you ever so slightly so that your head was now on his chest where you could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

 “Well, then it looks like you got me.” You didn’t need to look at him to see the smile on his face. It was the same one that graced yours.

 As you lay there listening to Mat’s heartbeat you could feel yourself drifting off. “We should set the alarm,” you mumbled. “My phone is on the nightstand.” Mat grabbed it and went to hand it to you, but you were too sated to be bothered. “Just set it for whatever time you need up at.”

 Mat looked at the phone then and noticed the two missed calls and a voicemail there, both from the same number. He looked down at you resting on his chest, almost asleep. He should tell you, he really should, but then that ugly green-eyed monster reared its head and he found himself deleting both the calls. He waited until you were in a deep enough sleep before listening to the voicemail. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself. Mat now knew Tyler was his competition and there was no way he was going to let him win this game, even if it meant he had to play a little dirty.  

[jamie-leah]

War of Wolves (18)

Season 1

Episode 18 - Revelations 

Bucky x Reader 

Summary: You have been on the streets for the past two years, ever since your accident that left you with the ability to tell if someone is lying. You work as an informant for the white wolf and his mob but you had never met him…until you overhear a phone call that leads you to saving his life. Now he wants you to work for him. Its an offer you couldn’t refuse…right?

Word count: 2966

Warnings: Violence, Car crash, blood, swearing 

A/N: This takes place seconds after the end of the last episode. The format is going to change a little bit after this one so enjoy! 

I also wanted to make a special shoutout to @marvelouscatharsis for making amazing fan art for this series! I loved it and I feel incredible to have inspired it and to know you all enjoy the series this much!xox 

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As Sam drives off, the only light comes from the half moon in the sky. You stare off where the cars had been, and you feel Bucky watching you until he speaks softly, “you made the right call”. 

Your eyes stay fixed to the distance, “did I?”. 

Bucky moves to stand in front of you. He uses his flesh hand to tilt your head up by your chin, “if you hadn’t done what you did something horrible would have happened tonight. Steve is just scared and not thinking straight”. 

You nod as your eyes finally meet his. He speaks again, softly in the night, “we’ll figure everything out when things calm down. But right now, I want to know if you’re okay?”. 

Your eyes automatically start darting away from his, “yeah, I’m fine”. He continues to stare at you, his hand still holding your chin. When your eyes can no longer avoid his gaze you crack, “I’m just scared Buck. I just have this dread in the pit of my stomach and I feel like I brought this all on you, that this is all my fault”. 

Bucky frowns, confused, “how is any of this your fault?”. 

You take in a shaky breath, “you didn’t have a problem with Isaac until I came along”. 

Bucky’s hand slides to cup your cheek, “none of this is your fault Doll. You don’t control what other people do and I have plenty of enemies out there. Something like this would be happening with or without you here by my side. The only difference now, is that I have one more person to fight for. One more person to protect and I have one more person that has my back”. 

You study his face before saying, “I love you James”. 

Bucky smiles before leaning down to connect with your lips. He gives a deep but quick kiss before murmuring, “I love you too Doll”. 

When he pulls back you feel cold and disappointed, but you knew you still had things to do. Bucky gets his phone out, “I’ll call two guys to come to the end of the dirt road. I don’t want them to see the house, so I’ll go take care of the bodies and hand them off to the guys to take care of while you and I go and check on Peggy”. 

You nod as you make your way back to the house, “what do you want me to do now?”. 

He steers you over to Steve and Peggy’s car, “stay here, I’ll go get the keys and you can wait for me in the car”. 

“I can help-“, you start to protest. 

But he cuts you off, “no. It won’t take me long. Stay here, let me go get the keys”. 

Bucky runs off into the house but is only gone for a second before coming back with the keys. He waits for you to get in the car before going back into the house. 

Twenty minutes later Bucky is dragging two bodies wrapped in tarp towards the car. He throws them into the boot and then throws his ruined suit jacket in the back. He gets into the driver’s side and rolls up his shirt sleeves before turning the car on. 

As he travels down the dirt road his hand rests briefly on your leg and you give him a grateful smile, even as the dread in your stomach grows. 

When he gets towards the end, there is a car waiting. Bucky talks to them briefly before they make light work of moving the bodies to their car. They drive off in the opposite direction to you. 

The road is dark and empty, and you were happy to be heading back home to see Peggy. It was only twenty minutes down the road, but five minutes in as you drive into the middle of the intersection you finally notice a road block. 

There are three cars in a row stopping you from progressing. The dread in your stomach turns to icy fear as Bucky quickly throws the car into reverse. Only Bucky never gets the chance to get the car moving as a van ploughs into the side of the car. 

The van hits you with such force that the car flips and slides until it rolls down a small embankment until it finally stops upside down. 

Adrenaline is coursing through your body as blood starts rushing to your head. You can feel panic brewing in your chest as you move your head around. Your seatbelt is keeping you strapped in, so your movement is limited but you manage to look to your side and see Bucky unmoving.

The panic increases, clawing at your throat as your hands reach for the belt. You try to unclip it but its not working as you use your strangled voice, “Bucky? Bucky?! You need to wake up”. 

You start pulling frantically at your seat belt but to no avail, “Bucky! Please wake up”. 

You think you can hear voices further away, so you leave your belt and reach over to Bucky. You shake his as best as you can until you finally hear a groan. Relief floods you hard and fast at hearing him make a noise and you feel a tear slide down your face and fall to the floor. 

After that Bucky comes around quick. He looks over to you, “Y/N, you okay?”. You nod, your voice still coming out strangled, “but I can’t get my seatbelt off Buck”. 

He reaches for his and yanks it out with his metal hand. He braces himself from falling and then kicks his door open, “its okay, I’ll come and get you out now, don’t panic, I’m here”. 

You watch him get out and try to keep your breathing even. Its not long before he rips the door away and half climbs back in on your side. His flesh arm braces you as his metal one yanks your seatbelt out.

The voices are much closer now as Bucky helps you crawl out. When you stand you notice blood trickling down Bucky’s face steadily from the top of his head. He starts to pull you towards the treeline, to try and run, but he stumbles. You catch him just about, but he stumbles again and this time you both fall to your knees. You see the men come around the car now and you know its over. 

You hear Bucky slur, “run”. 

You just shake your head as you take your jacket off and press it to his head, “I’d never leave you Buck”. 

His half-lidded eyes look at you, “please run for me Y/N”. 

You just give him a sad smile until a guy grabs your arm and yanks you away. To your surprise Bucky moves fast, throwing a punch before you even blink. The guy falls to the floor and Bucky catches you, both hands on your upper arms.

You stare at each other for a few seconds before more men come. You’re ripped away from Bucky again and there’s too many for him to handle on his own, especially in his current state. He holds his own until someone tasers him. 

Bucky drops, convulsing on the floor. Despite his being on the floor the guy still carries on and you scream at him, “stop it! Please!”. You struggle violently until you hear him. 

Isaac’s voice cuts the air, “enough. Get him in the car”. 

You want to throw up when Isaac steps in front of you. Pure hatred distorts your features as you look at him and his sick smile, “Y/N, nice to see you again. Should we go somewhere for a chat?”.

They put you and Bucky in separate cars. They also put a bag over your head which did not help your breathing. 

You think it was about an hour later when the car stopped, and someone dragged you out of the car. The only reason you went along with it is because they had Bucky, and you weren’t going to leave him. 

You felt the air change when you entered a building. You were finding it hard to keep up with whoever was pulling you along as your body ached from the crash. The man keeps pulling you no matter how many times you nearly fall, until you eventually get thrown into a chair. 

Your hands and feet are immediately tied causing your joints to ache. When you’re secure to the chair, the bag gets whipped off your head. 

You find it hard to see at first, your eyes watering at the brightness of the room. When they start adjusting you notice you’re in a warehouse, one that looks similar to Bucky’s where he takes people to interrogate. 

The next thing you notice is Bucky in the chair opposite you. He’s tied down too, except they used metal chains to keep him in place. His head is hanging forward, obviously still unconscious. 

It doesn’t take long for Isaac to make his appearance. He walks in smug and sure. You would give anything to claw his eyes out. 

His voice echoes in the big space, “Y/N, I’m so glad you could join me, I hope the drive was okay?”. 

You barely contain your hatred, “fuck off Isaac”. 

He shakes his head as he approaches, “I’ve been nothing but nice to you and you talk to me like this? We’ll see if you change your tune soon”. 

Your heart squeezes painfully as he walks over to Bucky. Isaac takes a syringe out of his jacket pocket and injects the contents into his neck. You try to keep the panic out of your voice, “what did you just do?”. 

Isaac steps back and looks at you, “its only a little something to wake him up. This won’t be as satisfying if he’s unconscious”. His words create a knot in your stomach.

It doesn’t take long for Bucky to come back to the land of the conscious. He lifts his head slowly and you watch him take in the scene before his eyes land on you. You give him the smallest of smiles and you see his jaw clench before staring daggers at Isaac. 

Isaac just smiles at Bucky until Bucky speaks, his voice hoarse, “what do you want?”. 

Isaac studies him, “did you gather much information on me Mr Barnes?”. 

Bucky remains quiet, obviously not wanting to give anything away, so Isaac speaks again, “I’m assuming not and if you did, none of it was the right information”. 

“What are you getting at?”, Bucky practically spits the words at him. 

Isaac shifts his gaze to you now. His lingering eyes making the knot in your stomach tighten, “you still don’t remember do you?”. 

You look at him confused, “remember what?”. 

Isaac walks closer to you and you see Bucky strain slightly in the corner of your eye. Isaac speaks again, watching your expressions closely, “your accident. I can’t believe neither of you figured it out yet. I was there”. 

You just became more confused and by the looks of it, Bucky was confused too. Isaac just laughs and carries on, “I orchestrated the whole thing. I planned the crash. Of course, you wouldn’t know that, but I was there that day. I was the first person you saw…well after you saw your mother dead next to you”. 

You didn’t know how to process what he was saying, nothing was making sense. You were grateful that Bucky asked the questions for you, “why? Why Y/N? It doesn’t make sense”. 

Despite Bucky being the one to ask the question, Isaac never takes his eyes off you, “I was a doctor a long time ago, until I lost my licence. I did research that allowed me to discover that certain people in the world have very specific different DNA profiles. I won’t bore you with the science, it would be wasted on you, but essentially if something were to happen that allowed that gene to evolve that person could unlock aspects of the brain that no human can do in tandem to their other parts of the brain”. 

Your mind was racing, and you were close to throwing up, but you managed to hear Bucky ask, “how did you know Y/N had different DNA? And how the hell did you know causing an accident would work?”. 

Isaac still spoke to you, “I discovered this when I was still a doctor. I had access to databases that allowed me to obtain blood samples of people I suspected that had these different DNA profiles. Y/N was on the list and I kept the list after I lost my licence. As for the crash, I had taken a few people to experiment on trying to unlock the gene myself, but it never worked. They all died. I thought a traumatic head injury might do the trick”. 

The anger in Bucky’s voice rang loud and clear, “you caused a crash as an experiment and just hoped that Y/N wouldn’t die?”. 

Isaac runs a finger down the side of your face. You jerk away from it, “don’t touch me”. 

You hear the chains around Bucky shift. Isaac just tuts, “don’t be like that. I gave you a gift”. 

You couldn’t help the way your voice raised in anger at him, “a gift? What part of it was meant to be a gift? The fact you killed my mother? The fact you made me homeless? Or perhaps the PTSD?”. 

Isaac grabs your chin, but you move out of his grasp only for him to grab your face roughly. He speaks low, venom lacing his words, “don’t pretend like I did you anything less than a favour. Your mother was dying, and she was ruining your life”. 

He lets you go and steps back. You spit at his shoes, “you ever talk about my mother like that again and I’ll do more than spit at you”. 

The fury on his face was hard to miss as he made a move towards you, but Bucky’s voice stopped him, “you touch her again and I swear to every god that exists I will kill you”. 

Isaac turns to face him this time with a chuckle, “I don’t think so Mr Barnes. Before I take Y/N away to carry out some tests, I’ll be making sure to kill you”. 

Your eyes flick from Bucky to Isaac as Isaac pulls out another syringe. He moves towards Bucky, “how does it feel to know that you lost White Wolf?”. 

Before Isaac can get any closer you shout, “wait! Please stop. If you promise to let Bucky go, I’ll go with you willingly. I’ll make it easier for you take me wherever you want. But if you kill him, I’ll fight you every step of the way”. 

Bucky was looking at you with alarm on his face, but you ignored him instead staring at Isaac as he turned your offer around in his head. Isaac nodded slowly, “I suppose that wouldn’t be too terrible…excuse me for a moment”. 

Once Isaac leaves the room Bucky starts speaking to you, “what are you doing?”. 

You give him a small smile, “saving your ass…again”. 

Bucky shakes his head, “you can’t seriously be thinking about going with him for me?”. 

You’re surprised when your voice comes out steady, like you knew what you were doing, “Buck, even if I fought him, I would never get away. Look how many men he has here, and he could knock me out if he wanted and take me wherever he wanted…he’s taking me whether we like it or not, at least this way I get to save you in the process and you may even find me”. 

“I will find you”, his eyes burn with promise. He drops his head, “this is all my fault, I should have protected you better-“. 

You cut him off, “no. Don’t do that. None of this is your fault, we didn’t know any of this would happen. So, stop thinking like that, you need to keep your head clear. No matter what happens it wasn’t your fault and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. I love you”. 

He finally gives you a ghost of a smile, “say it again”. 

You smile back, “I love you Bucky Barnes”. 

“I love you too”, his voice is thick with emotion and it broke your heart. 

You never got to say anything else as Isaac walks back into the room. He’s carrying a different syringe and you narrow your eyes at him, “what are you doing?”. 

Isaac walks over to Bucky, “don’t worry, its just something to knock him out while we leave”. 

You can see that it takes everything Bucky has not to resist it, but he also knows this is the only plan we have. After Isaac injects Bucky, it takes less than ten seconds for his head to fall forward again. 

Isaac turns to you, “and then there were two”. 

You pay him no attention as you commit Bucky to memory. Isaac unties you and starts leading you from the room when you say, “I told you to let him go, that doesn’t mean leave him here chained”. 

You watch him roll his eyes and he pull on your upper arm harder, “I’ll get one of my men to untie him. We have places to be”. 

You don’t detect the lie so let it go as you try and keep up with Isaac. He ends up shoving you into the back of the car before pulling you by your hair. The sudden movement causes you to cry out as he exposes your neck. 

You feel the sting of the needle and the darkness claiming you before you fall sideways on the backseat.

WoW Taglist: @a-really-bi-girl @crazyblonde124 @summerwelsh @scuzmunkie @loving-life-my-way @pequenaguaxinim @paranoid-borderline-insane @lilsonbucky @somanyfandomsblog @broco8 @inquisitor-selvala @mad-red @k-n-e @rinkashirikitateku @duhh-danielly @boundtomyfate @kalesrebellion @booktease21 @whatinthyworld @flyingbabyunicornnamedangel @asapkyndall @yaszx @amoredashley @aveatquevale- @putinovertime @melimelbean @valsworldofcreativity @lokilokilokilokilokilokilo-blog1 @vesper852 

[kae-karo]

fic writer interview!

i saw @prince-liest do this and thus i will take ur 'tagging anyone who wants to do this' seriously lmaoooo (also hi btw hope ur well!!! 💜💜)

How many works do you have on AO3?

ahaha,,,,,159 lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

fdsjkkjlsfdklj as of today, 2,089,769

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

only three fsdjkldslfkj the phandom (dan&phil), bnha, and genshin!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

chosen (x) - zhongchi (genshin)

to love (and be loved in return) (x) - kaeluc (genshin)

little bird (x) - dabihawks (bnha)

feet don't touch the ground (x) - xiaoven (genshin)

i knew you were fire (x) - dabihawks (bnha)

honestly none of that surprises me except that little bird is still up there, although i think i owe that to sif (@the-final-sif) for sharing it around the time it got posted since it was partly inspired by her raptor stress grip post!!

the rest are all chaptered fics, which is mostly what i expected to be in the top 5 lmao

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes!!! always!!!! no matter what u comment, i will respond!!! and if i don't, it's probably cause ao3 didn't notify me properly or i didn't see it in my inbox or something

as for why, it's mostly to do with like...i know how hard it can be for some people to comment, even just a bunch of heart emojis or a 'i loved this!' or something short and simple? and it means a lot to me that ppl are going out of their way to say something nice, no matter how small, and it's really really important to me to acknowledge that

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

hmm,,,,,this is a hard one, cause for a very long time, my policy was that my fic would always have a happy ending? and for a long time, that was true!! but the dabihawks interaction (during the raid) broke me, and from an emotional standpoint, i think freeing icarus (x) is probably the one that has the angstiest ending of the two or so that i wrote in that time?

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

u know i really haven't written any crossovers? it's normally not my thing cause my brain typically focuses on a single thing and doesn't really have the capacity to think about more than that, so i end up writing just au-style or fusion-style (shoutout to that one bnha but it was scooby doo fic i wrote - x)

i don't think i'd be opposed to writing a crossover but i'd have to be SUPER inspired by the idea and both fandoms lmao

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha yes, i have. the only straight up hate i've received was on a kaeluc fic (surprisingly not because it was kaeluc, but bc i was 'mistreating' kaeya in the fic) - to be entirely fair, the commenter pointed out something that i hadn't realized myself, and it led to a second piece of the story that helped me tie up some loose ends, but...let's just say they weren't very kind about their feelings lmao

other than that, i had someone very upset because i didn't tag which character was bottoming in a fic (valid if that bugs u!) and they read through most of it before getting to the smut (and said that they enjoyed everything up to that point) then said they were 'disgusted' by it. i have opinions on that and a few other comments they made, but i will keep them to myself lmao

and beyond that, just a few ppl on my xiaoven fic saying that they were unhappy about the background kaeluc (which is tagged lmao) - really no hate whatsoever til genshin, honestly, which is...very hmmmm :) lmao

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yep!!! mostly vanilla or vanilla-adjacent lmao i'm not super into heavy kink, although i know if epi reads this she's gonna call me out for being a monsterfucker bc of my dragon!zhongli smut :) lmaoooo but really i tend to write pretty vanilla smut! i also prefer to avoid any noncon/dubcon or hate sex or anything particularly angsty, just not my jam to write!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

hmm i don't think so? although i don't heavily monitor ao3 (or wattpad/ffn), so i can't really say that for sure lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! i've had a few fics translated to russian (little bird is one of them!) which is very sweet and i hope that anyone who prefers to read in russian has been enjoying those fics!!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

alksdfjklsdf only once, and it's deadass how me and rose got together. we decided to co-write a podcast au fic for the phandom (x) and ended up flirting via google docs asldkfjkldsfj

What’s your all time favourite ship?

what a horrible question, making me choose between my children like this!!!! sdlfkjdskf tbh i'm not sure i have a real answer bc it changes as i go? and 'favorite' is so vague,,,,,favorite to read? to write about? to think about? asdklfjkjsdfk i really don't know if i have an answer, but i'll maybe say kaeluc for now lmao

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

well first and foremost, with only 2 exceptions, i never post a fic unless it's done. i tend to follow wherever my passion leads my brain, so i'm notorious for jumping around between stories and taking breaks from long fic and returning later on to finish them, and i know that i would not do well under the pressure of posting something unfinished and trying to finish it in a timely manner

that said, many wips sit in my google doc folder, but one is Well Known as the one that has followed me through both the phandom and bnha (rose keeps asking who i'm gonna switch the chars to in genshin, but i think it suits bakudeku too well to do that) - only the lonely survive. it sits at like 36k in my wip folder, and i adore the story dearly and i want very much to finish it, but it never makes it quite to the forefront of my motivation, and so it rarely if ever gets worked on...i hate the idea of 'never' finishing it, but it's unfortunately quite likely that i won't 😭😭😭

What are your writing strengths?

emotion!!! and immersion!!! it's my goal in a fic to make it as immersive as possible and saturated with emotion to help convey that feeling of being in the place of the pov character, and i think i do it pretty well. also just bc i feel a little obligated to say it - another strength is actually sitting down and putting words down. i know that's a struggle for a lot of writers and i often get,,,,lovingly bullied? i guess? lmao for being able to bash out a few k in a day most days

What are your writing weaknesses?

this isn't so much a weakness i guess but i am basically incapable of treating crack fic as crack. if i have a cracky idea, it will, without a doubt, end up turning into a Perfectly Serious fic somehow (notable 'crack treated so seriously that it's no longer crack' fics include: todoroki doing the freeze-the-ocean thing from frozen 2, 'shmigaraki', todo and denki get together bc of vine references, the league sells feet pics, shiggy and natsu own a nightclub/bakery, scooby doo but make it bnha, and dabi getting his ears pierced at claire's)

but in all seriousness, i think my main weakness is that i often get comfortable? and i'm not one to typically push myself forcefully out of my comfort zone when it comes to stories that i come up with on my own, which often means that ideas inspired by discussions with others are what prompt me to branch out and try new things?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think, like anything, it has its place? there are certainly stories where it makes sense to do that and even adds depth to a story, although i personally am not exceptionally comfortable enough with other languages (except maybe asl) to do that in fic myself without the assistance of someone very comfortable with that language lmao

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the phandom! not really my jam to write rpf anymore but it definitely got me started and i'm really grateful for my time writing there, as everyone was super supportive and kind, and it was really a perfect place for a beginner to get comfortable and practice

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

again, forcing me to choose between my children...i really don't know that i can pick one fic bc they all exist in such wildly different spaces? i poured my worldbuilding soul into the king of disaster series (mainly dabihawks - x), exile (dan and phil - x) was my first massively long fic, our hearts are heavy burdens we shouldn't have to bear alone (chayea - x) is probably my favorite character/character dynamic study, i'm exceptionally proud of the smut in chosen (zhongchi - x), the list goes on and on and on lmao like. i could probably list half my fics as favorites in some regard dsflkjdfsjkl

anyway, tyty bellamy for putting this on my dash so i could do it as well!!

tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this, i have so many writer friends slkdjfjklsdf but please please tag me if u do it so i can read urs!!! 💜💜💜

[smuttyjenos]

The Heartbreak Series

A Short Overview of Mark’s Love-life Throughout the Years

Mark-centric AU

Pairings: markhyuck, markten, yumark, renmark, jenmark, lumark, and side!johnten

word count: 3.4k+ words

written in bullet form cus I'm a lazy shit

unbetaed so read at your own risk lmao

very self-indulgent; i.e., I just really wanted to hurt Mark... sorry Mark

suggestive themes. contains swearing and mentions of alcohol, drugs, sex, and cigarettes. reader discretion is advised!

—————————————————————————————

MARKHYUCK - “The timing wasn’t right”

Mark didn’t hate Donghyuck when they first met; he just didn’t get him

Where Mark was quiet, respectful, and peace-loving Donghyuck was loud, brash, and always spoke what was on his mind without any regard to anyone’s feelings

But somehow everyone loved Hyuck and Mark couldn’t understand why

Until he took the time to properly get to know him

That was when he realized how irresistibly magnetic he was

He was funny in a crass way

And was horribly honest (for better or for worse)

He knew the best ways to rile people up but somehow always smiled his way out of any fight

And god was his smile beautiful

He made you want to be his friend with a single look

But understanding this didn’t mean understanding his own feelings (especially as a supposedly “straight” Catholic boy), so nothing truly develops between Mark and Hyuck aside from a weirdly tense friendship

Where Mark was constantly craving his attention

And Hyuck was constantly torn between giving it to him or staying away for his own sanity

They move away from each other after high school and end up in different universities so they don’t hear from each other again until years later

MARKTEN - “the mentor”

Mark was in his first year of college when he realized he might not actually be straight after all

Being away from his Catholic parents and being exposed to other types of people really helped broaden his horizons

But meeting Ten was the turning point

They kissed during a game of Truth or Dare and the next thing Mark knew was that Ten was bringing him home to his bed

The morning after a confusing but terribly pleasurable fiasco, Ten was laughing at Mark's naivety because

(1) he hadn’t left like most guys do after a one night stand and;

(2) Mark was a cuddler when he was drunk off his ass

A literal octopus that pouted and whined and unconsciously sucked hickies unto exposed pieces of skin he could reach overnight

Mark tries to make sense of what happened

He thought that he and Ten HAD to be a thing now after what they had done (and they had done a lot)

Mark doesn’t really understand yet the concept of a one night stand

Ten explains to him that they don’t have to date or be exclusive (Ten just doesn’t roll that way)

They can just keep things casual between them

But poor Mark just looked so lost

So Ten takes him under his wing

Ten spends the next few months helping Mark explore his sexuality

They try different positions and different roles and even have a few threesomes with Ten’s more regular hookup: Johnny

Ten goes to great lengths to teach Mark about the wonders of hookup culture and one night stands and bars with sexy drunk men and sex full of passion but without any of the strings attached

He does all this before sending him off into the world like a chick leaving the nest

But Ten is still Mark’s favorite go-to for a long time

He just never had a chance with Ten

Not really

Especially not with Johnny always around

YUMARK - “the first heartbreak”

Yuta was Mark’s first boyfriend

He was known around the school as the problem-kid in Johnny’s year because he had skipped and flunked so many classes, has repeated his 3rd year twice

He was also notorious for his black-painted nails, devil-may-care attitude, and smoking on school grounds

He was the type of boy your parents warned you to stay away from

And he was also Ten’s go-to supply for happy pills and alcohol whenever he hosted parties at Johnny's frat house

Mark had known about him for a while

Had heard about him from all his seniors and even his batchmates

But they first meet at Ten’s graduation party when Mark was in his 2nd Year

By then Mark had been well-taught and fully immersed in hookup culture and he wanted to try his hand on someone different like Yuta

He let the older boy take him to his dorm room which smelled of weed and cheap beer

This isn't really what Mark would call attractive

But somehow spending the night with Yuta made Mark crave more than was deemed healthy

Even Ten wanted him to stay away from Yuta after hearing he had slept with him

But something about his aura made Mark fall to his knees

So they spend a few more nights together wrapped up in each other’s embrace

Yuta showed Mark things that Ten didn’t dare (and that was saying something as Ten was quite kinky himself)

Mark would probably never disclose to anyone the kind of shit he and Yuta regularly got around to doing

But one of their tamer endeavors, and one that they particularly enjoyed doing, was fucking raw while they were high or drunk

During this time their inhibitions would be completely thrown out the window and their fucking would often border on dangerous

Like fucking on the windowsill with the window wide open

Despite living on the 3rd floor

On one of those blurry nights where their vision was hazy with smoke and their throats burned from liquor, Mark blurted out that he had fallen in love with Yuta

Yuta didn't exactly reply

But he pulled him into a kiss and they didn’t speak of it again

They spent most of their free time together making out, fucking, or chilling at Yuta’s dorm with bongs and Japanese horror movies after that

They skipped classes to go on long drives to the countryside where they’d happily fuck in (and occasionally on) the car

Mark picked up smoking as a habit after having been given the task of carrying around Yuta’s lighter and lighting his cigarettes for him

The hefty metal had ‘N.YUTA’ messily carved into its body with a box cutter

And carrying it around made Mark feel useful, powerful, and gave him a sense of purpose

But he didn’t realize how dependent he was becoming or how much of his life he was slowly ruining

Mark lived in this toxic relationship believing Yuta needed him

Yuta told him that he needed him

When in reality it was actually Mark who needed him to feel alive

One day the relationship took a nosedive when Mark finds Yuta cheating on him with Winwin

Mark had never known what rage felt like until that moment

Mark cried angry tears

And he threw the metal light out the window, shattering the glass and causing Winwin to wince at the probable cost of the damage

Yuta tried to apologize but ultimately they decided that the relationship had already died months ago

They weren’t good or healthy for each other

And this was apparently just an incident waiting to happen

So they broke things off without another word

Mark has long since forgiven Yuta but only because it was in his nature to do so

But despite having uttered the words “I forgive you” he still feels the sting of heartache every time he sees Yuta and Winwin together

Because he couldn’t deny that Winwin made Yuta better than he ever could

RENMARK - “the one that got away”

Renjun was unique and enigmatic in many ways

He was smart, funny, artistic, and had a great personality, but was closed off and always kept his guard up

He made Mark want to use big words he otherwise would never use on a daily basis (like Abstentious, Deleterious, and Grandiose) simply because it made him smile

And Mark really loved his smile

Renjun would tease him for it, saying Mark probably didn't even know half the words he spewed out

But Mark could handle a few hundred blows to his ego if it meant Renjun would look at him for a few seconds longer

Following his relationship with Yuta, however, Mark just couldn’t find it in himself to ask the damn boy out

Renjun wasn’t an overly affectionate person and was stingy with skinship

But that made it all sweeter when he would lean against Mark while laughing his loud, full-bellied laugh at something Mark had said

Mark avoided smoking around Renjun because he had said once that he didn’t enjoy the smell

And he had associated cigars to his absent father

So regardless of the heavy withdrawals he experienced, Mark eventually quit smoking altogether because Renjun was less likely to recoil from a hug if he smelled more like sweat than if he smelled of burnt nicotine

Mark thought that maybe this was Renjun making him better (the same way Winwin had made Yuta better)

This made Mark think "Ah yes, he's the one"

But he wasn’t

He knew he wasn’t because of one night where Mark invited Renjun to his dorm to watch a movie over some beer and popcorn

They watched Love, Rosie, because Renjun wanted something cheesy to cringe to

They weren’t cringing though

Instead, they had the lights dimmed and the movie set to a low volume as they seriously talked about what could’ve happened if Rosie and Alex had just confessed to each other sooner

Hearing Renjun’s thoughts made Mark want to confess his love for him sooner too

And it was a little deeper into the night when Mark was on his 5th bottle and Renjun was on his 3rd that Mark found himself staring at Renjun’s side profile

He allowed himself this moment to trace the boy’s features

From the soft curve of his eyebrow down to his dainty ears and his perfectly carved out jaw that was hidden underneath a smooth expanse of unblemished skin

When Mark looked up again, Renjun was staring back

A moment passed where Mark’s heart felt like it was trying to jump out of his chest

And then he was leaning in and kissing Renjun on the lips

It wasn’t rough or passionate

It was slow and all-encompassing

All sighs and deep breathes before a gentle brush of parted lips

Renjun ended up on Mark’s lap, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes closed like he was scared to know if this was real or not

But he knew it was real because he was holding unto Mark’s shoulders for dear life while Mark held him gently by the waist

Renjun sleeps over at Mark’s that night but they didn’t go beyond soft kisses and lips against smooth skin

Mark thought it was perfect

But when Mark wakes up the next day, Renjun had left him a note on his bedside table that said

“Please, let’s not talk about last night.”

So they don’t

Because when they meet again, Jaemin was all wide smiles and sparkling teeth

“I finally got the courage to ask Renjun out, and he said yes!”

Mark tries his best to forget about his crush on Renjun because he still wanted him around and because he couldn’t ruin his friendship with Jaemin

Even if he couldn’t rest his hand on his lower back or press gentle kisses on his forehead, having him around was enough

Mark tells himself that this is enough

Seeing Renjun happy, even if it was in the arms of another, is enough

Renjun’s presence and his friendship is enough

It was Mark that wasn’t enough

MARKJEN - “the rebound”

Mark wasn’t enough for Renjun and Jeno wasn’t enough for Jaemin even when they both gave their all for the other

Mark still avoided smoking around Renjun but without the boy teetering him down his withdrawals became too hard to resist

So he allowed himself a butt or two whenever he was out, drinking his sorrows away with Jeno

Jaemin and Renjun’s relationship became their common denominator and they decided, after multiple bottles of whiskey and gin, that they should fall into bed with one another

Sex with Jeno was surprisingly rough and fast-paced

There was no love there; just calloused hands on his body and teeth marking his tanned skin

And a battle for dominance which Jeno was surprisingly unwilling to relinquish

After having been emotionally used by Jaemin for years, something snapped in Jeno that made him refuse to bend over for anyone ever again

And Mark, after having Renjun take everything he could give, was happy to let Jeno take the reigns and give it to him harder than anyone else ever did

They didn’t fall in love with one another

They never shared gentle kisses or whispered sweet things to one another

But between them bloomed a strong friendship that helped patch the emptiness in their hearts and anchored them back to the ground all the way until graduation

MARKHYUCK (2) - “it was you all along”

Of all the people Mark thought he’d meet on the bus, he didn’t expect Donghyuck to drop unto his lap (quite literally) during his commute home

After suffering multiple heartaches throughout his years in college, Mark thought himself too old to believe in fate or soulmates

He instead believed in the art that is hooking up with strangers he would meet at bars (Ten liked to call it “going back to his roots”)

(Not that Ten had any right to speak when he and Johnny were getting hitched in two month’s time)

But meeting Hyuck had him thinking that maybe fate wasn’t all just a can of baloneys

Even after Donghyuck had quite literally fallen unto Mark’s lap, he still had the audacity to get mad at the older boy for sitting in that particular seat that he could’ve fallen into without incident

And Mark could barely believe his ears at the words

Donghyuck was still just as brash and rude as he was when they were in high school

But the mischief in his eyes was aged, more mature, and less childish

Clearly, he's seen and experienced things and grown up a little

Even if it wasn't obvious

Perhaps they shared a few experiences between them?

Mark didn't have time to ponder on this as he was completely stunned to silence

Mark got up from his seat and offered it to the angry boy, who wasn’t really all that angry to begin with because he didn't know what else to do

Donghyuck was hesitant but he eventually sat down on the chair that Mark offered

It was the wrong decision though as Mark decided to stay rooted to his spot, right beside the seat, a little rigid and causing Hyuck some intense discomfort

Mark stared down at Donghyuck who was getting red from all the attention

After barking out a “what?” Mark asked the first thing that was on his mind

“Do you want to get some coffee with me?”

Of course, Donghyuck was taken aback

But the guilt of having stolen Mark’s seat and STILL acting rude despite all of that made Hyuck turn away with a blush high on his cheeks and a silent “sure” falling from his lips

The silent 'sure' that made a smile blossom on Mark’s face so Donghyuck didn’t really mind (to him, Mark was still as handsome as he remembered)

They stop by the first Starbucks they see and sit down to catch up

Mark finds out that Hyuck had just started working at the same company he and Johnny worked at

Donghyuck was also scheduled to move into the same apartment complex Mark lived in–albeit on a higher floor

Something pleasant wriggled inside Mark at the knowledge that he could potentially be spending more time with Hyuck depending on what department he'll be working in

He was pretty fucking convinced that it was fate paying him back for all the years of heartache he endured

Mark quickly offers Donghyuck his assistance for the move but the younger of the two quickly rejects, telling him that he was plenty capable of doing it on his own

Mark wanted to argue further but he feared it would scare Hyuck away, so he let it be and simply settled with buying the boy jjajangmyeon to celebrate getting his own place

They quickly become close friends after that and Mark takes Hyuck as his + 1 for Johnny and Ten's wedding

Mark decides that slow and steady was a good move for him and Hyuck

But what he didn’t anticipate happening was Donghyuck meeting Jeno at the wedding and seemingly becoming infatuated with the other boy

Mark was starting to think that life was a bit too unfair to him as he watched Hyuck and Jeno become fast friends

He wanted to scream and retaliate

And tell Jeno to stick to his lane as he was already flirting with Jisung anyway

But instead, Mark runs away wanting to spare himself another heartache

And Hyuck was left to stand there, baffled by Mark's sudden inattention

LUMARK - “it’s not me, it’s him.”

In a desperate attempt to forget about Hyuck, Mark starts sleeping around once again and meets Lucas

He was a boy his age who he likened to a giant puppy

A puppy he definitely shouldn't have met at a gay bar because he was much too kind for his own good

Lucas is as sweet to him as life is cruel

On the first night they met, Lucas had bought him a drink, danced with him on the dance floor, patted his back while he hurled into a toilet from drinking too hard, and then let him cry on his shoulder after bringing him back home (supposedly to make out so more but that didn't exactly go as planned)

A week later and Mark finds himself getting picked up after work every single day

He walks him home, regularly takes him out for dinner dates, and even asks him if he wanted to move in after his lease was up

All within a month of dating him

Once again Mark finds himself thinking that maybe Lucas is the one even if he knows very well that he didn't deserve the giant puppy

He couldn’t deny, however, that the relationship fell short

Lucas was very kind about this and asked Mark if maybe there was someone else

Technically there wasn’t

But really... there was

Because Mark couldn’t get the thought of Donghyuck out of his head

Mark blurts this out one night but hastily explains to Lucas that nothing is going in between him and Hyuck

Mark could never cheat on anyone after suffering so badly with Yuta

And Mark hasn't really been out to see a lot of his friends since he met Lucas (mostly to avoid Hyuck) so he didn't really have the time to cheat on him

He will just try harder to love Lucas as much as Lucas loved him is what Mark says

But all Lucas says in response is “I am not Donghyuck, and that's okay."

MARKHYUCK (3) - “say yes”

After the relatively peaceful breakup with Lucas (who agrees that they should at least remain friends), Mark is once again alone in the world

Mark and Donghyuck still work for the same company and still go home to the same apartment complex

But where Mark used to have Lucas pick him up and walk him home, he now had no one to spare him the uncomfortable small talk that Hyuck has insisted they have

“What happened to Lucas?”

“We broke up.”

“Oh.”

“What happened to Jeno?”

“He’s with Jisung.”

“Oh!”

Mark was clearly taken aback as he knew Jeno used to flirt with Jisung long before he even met Hyuck

Shouldn’t having them hang out make Donghyuck uncomfortable?

Just like before, Mark was deeply baffled by Hyuck’s behavior

“Is he not crushing on Jisung anymore?”

“He’s literally head over heels in love with him.”

“Then why’d you let them hang out?”

An uncomfortable silence envelops them that causes Mark to look up at Hyuck properly

“... cus they’re dating?”

Mark was confused by this

It’s true he hadn’t been with his friends in a while, completely focusing on Lucas and avoiding Donghyuck

But he couldn’t have possibly missed something this big

“I thought you and Jeno were dating? You two became so close after the wedding.”

This time it was Donghyuck who gave Mark a confused look (although his was laced with anger)

“Mark Lee you can’t be that fucking stupid! I was asking him to help me ask you out.”

A whirlwind of emotions washed over Mark as he stared at the angry boy in front of him

He found it more and more difficult to do anything BUT stare at Donghyuck; he just had that effect on him

He stared so hard that he didn’t realize they had reached their stop and that Donghyuck was getting off the bus

Mark allowed his body to move on autopilot as he helplessly followed Hyuck into their apartment building

As if he was watching his life pass by like a movie, Mark watched as Hyuck pressed (slammed) the button for his floor for him and allowed himself to be pushed out of the elevator when he had reached his supposed destination

But instead of walking to his apartment, Mark turned back around to the closed elevator and stared some more

When the elevator doors opened again to reveal one of his startled neighbors, Mark suddenly snaps out of his trance-like stupor

What the fuck was he doing out here?

As the moments before suddenly rush back to him, Mark makes a move for the elevator (even getting slammed between the doors as it was closing) to go to Hyuck’s apartment

He bangs on the door loudly, not bothering to put down his suitcase that was undoubtedly scuffing the wooden door

Donghyuck flings the door open angrily to yell at Mark but is instead cut off by the older boy’s voice

“What do you mean ask me out?”

Hyuck stared at Mark in disbelief for a moment before attempting to close the door on his face

Much to his delight and Donghyuck's anger, Mark’s reflexes were much faster than either of them knew and he easily pushes himself into the room to simply ask again

“Hyuck, what do you mean ask me out? You were going to ask me out?”

“Yes you big oaf, I was going to ask you out! But your stupidly small brain encased in that big forehead of yours decided to date Lucas before I even had the chance.”

Mark bites back a smile but ultimately fails as he backs Haechan further into the apartment

“Ask me now.”

“What?”

“Ask me out now.”

At this point, Donghyuck looks downright murderous but Mark pays him no heed as he keeps smiling down at Hyuck

“I’m not asking you out anymore, Mark Lee.”

“Then I’ll ask you.”

“No you won’t, I’ll say no.”

“Go out with me, Donghyuck.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to anymore!”

“Please?”

Hyuck stared up at the soft, pleading look on Mark’s face and feels himself crumble for a moment

So he turns away from temptation, a scowl deepening the lines on his face

Mark only follows his gaze and smiles back at Hyuck

He could see the younger boy's resolve breakaway but he also knew that Hyuck was a stubborn bitch

So finally, in a last-ditch attempt to get what he hoped will make them both happy, Mark decides to take Donghyuck’s hands in his and looks directly into his eyes

“I know I was a dick, Hyuck.. but please give me one more chance? Go out with me...”

Hyuck seemed like he was at a loss for words

The last of his dignity and his inflated ego had been chipped away and he felt like he was suddenly laid bare in front of Mark

Completely and 100% at his mercy

So instead of dignifying Mark’s begging with a response, he looks away once more and gives him a curt nod

The small affirmation, however, lights up Mark’s face and he hurriedly throws his arms around Hyuck and pulls him into a tight hug before spinning him around once (completely ignoring the shrieking it caused)

When Mark pulls away, Donghyuck's face is flushed red and he's scowling at him once more

But that didn’t dim Mark's smile at all

Instead, he asks Hyuck if he could kiss him

And Donghyuck, of course, says yes

[omgrachwrites]

Tell a Tale of You and Me - Chapter Thirteen

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You knew that making a bet with Sirius Black was like making a deal with the devil but you just couldn’t help yourself. You had never been a heavenly woman.

Warnings: angst, fluff, pining

Words: 2527

Disclaimer: These gifs don’t belong to me!

A/N: How are we on chapter thirteen already?! I think I said this in my last post but I’m going to be writing a Remus fic that will connect to this one, I want to make these fics into a little series. My Remus fic will still be a reader insert but she’ll just have a proper name otherwise it will be so confusing with loads of Y/N’s running around so I hope that’s okay! I hope you guys enjoy this part and please let me know what you think and if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

Chapter Thirteen

Everyone – absolutely everyone – knew that Sirius and Y/N were at odds with one another, even if Sirius and Y/N didn’t know them personally; random people somehow knew that something was going on. Even the first years who had never spoken a word to either of them knew that something bad was happening because they’d watch Sirius joke and grin with his friends in the castle corridors, only for his grin to drop a moment later.

Whereas, McGonagall knew that something was wrong because Sirius had been unusually quiet in her class and he no longer exchanged wistful looks with Y/N from across the classroom. McGonagall missed his bold personality and even his incessant annoying pranks. She hoped that he’d be back to his usual self soon.

Sirius chewed his lip as he fiddled with the fanged Frisbee he was holding, scowling down at it when he felt it bite him and he slammed it right back onto the shelf in a huff. He didn’t think that he wanted it after all, “what did that poor Frisbee ever do to you Pads?” Peter smirked and Sirius narrowed his stormy eyes at his friend before turning to speak to James.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does Lily hate my guts right now?” Sirius didn’t want to cause a rift in his best mate’s relationship. He didn’t want to screw anything else up; he just wanted a quiet year from now on.

James sighed as he turned away from the display of nose biting teacups, “she doesn’t hate you mate, I think that she’s just disappointed,” Sirius winced, on second thought he would rather it if Lily hated our guts, “you have to understand Pads, Lily and Y/N have been best friends since our very first day at Hogwarts. Remember how inseparable they were by Halloween? She’d pick Y/N over anybody. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it too much; the boys and I are all on your side. You don’t have to work things out before you’re ready.”

Sirius looked up at the rest of his friends to see if they were of a same mind as James, Remus chewed his lip and immediately walked up to the counter to buy his items. Though, Remus needn’t bother trying to hide it, Sirius knew that Remus disapproved of the way he’d handled things.

However, Peter piped up which surprised Sirius, “yeah, we are on your side, Y/N could have at least told you about the fact she wanted to date your brother.”

It still caused Sirius a painful pang when he thought about Y/N – his Y/N – with Regulus. He looked outside, out of the rain streaked window, biting his lip when Lily and Y/N walked out of Honeydukes, munching on their sweets. Sirius wondered how sweet Y/N’s lips were with the sugar that was undeniably coating them.

“Be honest,” he started, turning back to his friends, “do you think that Reg and Y/N are properly going out?” he almost didn’t want to know the answer. But, he supposed that he couldn’t feel any worse than he already did.

James and Peter exchanged nervous looks, “well, I think if they were properly and seriously going out then they’d be walking down the corridor holding hands and they’d be snogging in The Great Hall like Lily and I do,” James chuckled before he got serious and he rested his hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “I know that I said that you didn’t have to work things out before you were ready but maybe you just need to shelve your pride and tell her how you really feel before she does get with Regulus for real. The problem is that you two are way too stubborn.”

Sirius rolled his eyes as he groaned internally, he didn’t want to lose his pride but he also knew that James was right. In these sorts of situations he was always right. The boys paid for their Zonkos’ products before they left the warm shop to join Y/N and Lily in the rainy country lane. Sirius made sure to keep a couple of paces behind.

A couple of days later, Sirius walked across the wet muddy lawn after dinner to meet James, he looked up with a groan at the dark sky that was threatening to pour down again and the air stank of wet grass. With the last two Quidditch matches looming James had become more frantic with his Quidditch practises; he wanted to win the Quidditch cup one last time. James had started scheduling them in the evening now as well as keeping his usual morning practises.

Sirius nodded in greeting as he noticed that James was walking up the hill, he was spattered with mud and Y/N was at his side, they both looked miserable. When Y/N looked up and saw Sirius, her eyes turned hard and cold and she brushed past James without saying goodbye to him. Sirius opened his mouth to say something to the pretty girl but she was already long gone. He turned back to James and saw that his usual warm and kind eyes were angry, “what’s the matter?”

James huffed angrily before prodding Sirius in the chest hard, “you need to make things right with Y/N, and soon. Because I need my amazing seeker back,” he grimaced at Sirius before storming ahead, leaving Sirius in the mud, he was utterly speechless.

Thankfully, by the time that Sirius had got himself up to the warm and mercifully dry common room, James seemed to have calmed down, he wondered whether it had something to do with Lily running her fingers through James’ hair. James gave Sirius an apologetic look as Sirius sank into the plush couch next to him, “sorry mate, practise has been so bad lately and I’m just so frustrated, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“It’s fine, honestly. I think you were right to have a go,” Sirius smiled, he wasn’t going to hold a grudge against his best friend because of one stupid comment said in a moment of anger.

Later on that evening, the marauders were finally getting to work on that dreaded Potions essay that was due in the morning; however, Remus had already completed it somehow. Peter was going on about asking Evelyn out properly, she had gone to The Yule Ball with him in the end, “like what if she rejects me? James, did you ever feel this way before asking Lily out?”

Before James could reply, Sirius interjected loudly, “I wouldn’t if I were you Wormtail, when you show your feelings to someone, you only get stabbed in the back,” he didn’t know what made him say it, maybe his feelings had been bottled up inside him for too long.

A hushing silence fell over the common room as Gryffindor students looked between Y/N and Sirius as they waited for Y/N’s answer. It seemed like the whole room was holding its breath. Y/N glanced up from where she was sitting with Alice and she blinked with a confused expression etched upon her face. In a matter of seconds her face warped from an expression of polite confusion to an expression of rage as she angrily threw her quill down on her parchment, splotching ink everywhere. Sirius half expected to see steam billowing from her ears.

“Oh, would you just stop it? So what, your feelings got hurt, mine have too! But why do you have to make everything so much worse? Would you like to know why I took Regulus to The Yule Ball and why I’ve been spending so much time with him?”

“Enlighten me, Y/L/N,” Sirius smirked as he raised an eyebrow as he leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head. He couldn’t wait to hear her explanation.

“Y/N, don’t do this, think about who’s watching,” Lily warned but Y/N didn’t abide by her words.

“No Lily! He wants to know so I’ll tell him,” she narrowed her eyes as she walked over to stand before him and Sirius waited with bated breath, “your hag of a mother and my mum – the traitor – have taken it upon themselves to set me and Regulus up. For marriage, and you know what your mum is like when things don’t go her way, she’ll make my family’s life a living hell. The wedding is scheduled for Midsummer which is why I’ve been spending so much time with your brother. I don’t want to hate my future husband Sirius. What else do you expect me to do? I’m doing the best that I can,” her voice broke and those beautiful blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

Sirius felt his stomach lurch unpleasantly as his eyes stung, he felt completely awful; he’d made such a huge mistake. He should have known that something else was going on, he should have just been an adult and asked her. The last thing he wanted was for Y/N to become his sister in law. Not when he was completely crazy about her. He knew that he owed her a massive apology, he’d said some really awful things, they both had.

“Y/N, I,” he sighed, at a loss for words. What could he possible say other than he was sorry? Y/N sniffled and looked away from him.

“Good talk Sirius,” she mumbled before crossing the room and she climbed out of the portrait hole. Sirius couldn’t let her go like this; he quickly stood up, not caring that the majority of Gryffindor were watching this scene unfold. He had to go after her to let her know how sorry he was. He had to let her know that he didn’t mean all those horrible things that he’d said.

However, Lily’s words stopped him before he could reach the portrait hole, “Sirius don’t, I’m sorry but I think that it’s too late.”

————————————–

You grinned happily as Alice positively gushed about her boyfriend Frank, they could compete against James and Lily for Hogwarts’ cutest couple. It was very clear that Alice was very much in love and you knew that they would go the distance. At first, Alice wouldn’t talk about her happy love life because she didn’t want to upset you but you had quickly explained to her that it was absolutely fine. You didn’t want her to censor the conversation purely for your benefit.

Despite everything that had occurred over the last few days you were feeling pretty happy and positive. It was a beautiful day sunny day and you had managed to ignore Sirius – and how beautiful he looked with slightly shorter hair. He knew the truth now and you thought that he knew how you felt; the ball was in his court now so you hadn’t worried about it too much.

You checked the time on your watch and saw that there was about twenty more minutes of lunchtime left, if you were going to help Remus then it needed to be now, “I’ll see you guys later, okay?” you grinned, feeling pretty excited.

“Bye Y/N,” Lily pulled you into a warm hug and Alice blew you a kiss.

“See you later honey.”

You smiled at your friends and wandered over to the Slytherin table, “hey, Reg?” you smiled sweetly as he greeted you with a kiss on your cheek; he was so adorable, “have you seen Morgana?”

He frowned at your question and you ignored how much he looked like Sirus when he did that, “I think she said she was going to the library. Why do you want to know Y/N?” he narrowed his eyes suspiciously and you laughed.

“Don’t look at me like that, I only want to talk to her,” you offered him a small wave and an apologetic smile as you hurried off in the direction of the library.

You navigated the extremely busy library with some difficulty and you smiled, with the amount of people in this one room it was surely pissing Madam Pince off. That thought made you happy. Eventually, you found Morgana at the back of the library with her head stuck in a book, you nervously approached her table. You didn’t know how she was going to react when she saw you, “Morgana?”

At the sound of her name she looked up and quirked a beautifully arched eyebrow, “Y/N. What do you want?” she drawled and rolled her eyes as she closed her book and she gestured for you to sit down in the free seat.

“We need to talk about Remus,” you said as you sat down, at the mention of Remus’ name, her whole demeanour changed. Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink colour as she looked at the table before looking up at you almost shyly. It was a good look for her.

“What about him?”

“I need to know how you feel about him,” you started, your protective instincts kicking in, “he’s my best friend, he’s been there for me and I’ve been there for him. He likes you and I really don’t want to see him get hurt.”

Morgana sighed and chewed her lip as she fiddled with her fingers, “Y/N, I know that you don’t like me and you have every reason to be suspicious of me. I have a hard time truly opening up to people but with Remus, it’s just so easy, he makes it so easy. He’s been so amazing, so patient when I did nothing but push him away. It’s so different being with him, different in a good way. It feels more than sex; I want it to be more than sex. He makes me want to be a better person Y/N, I would never hurt him, please believe me. But there’s something you don’t know, and I’m not sure that I deserve him,” she seemed so sincere and you were glad to see this side of her.

She was incredibly human and you couldn’t help but believe her, Remus usually had a good judgement of people, “if you’re not going to hurt him then I’ll say that you more than deserve him. I believe you Morgana, why don’t you ask him out?” you liked playing cupid, it was fun.

Morgana looked away from you and wrapped her arms around herself, “oh, I couldn’t,” she hesitated before looking at you warily, “you’re going out with Regulus right? Would you be interested in a double date?”

You didn’t bother to properly correct her about Regulus, “yes, if that would make you more comfortable,” you sighed wondering whether you were playing with fire.

“Thanks Y/N,” she smiled.

After your talk with Morgana you made your way to Potions and grinned at Remus but before you could tell him the good news you noticed that Sirius was gazing at you. His stormy grey eyes were wary and vulnerable, and when he spoke to you it was in a civilised tone that you hadn’t heard in so long.

“Y/N, I think that we need to talk.”

You nodded at him, this was either going to be a very good thing or a very bad thing, “yes I suppose that we do.”

————————————– 

@approved-by-dentists​ @thefuturelawyer​ @a-miserable-hufflepunk​ @firelordmillie​ @seriouslysiriuss​ @sleep-i-ness​ @play-morezeppelin​ @pregnant-piggy​ @sleepingalaska​ @smiithys​ @blisfvll​ @rexorangecouny​ @findzelda​ @wangmangagavroche​ @the-moon-and-the-book​ @hxrgreeves​ @ghostofstudentspast​ @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon​ @my-unique-mind​ @im-an-angel-of-the-lord-you-ass​ @acciovisio​ @obsessedwithrandomthings​ @kashishwrites​

[rainydaydream-gal18]

Cal Kestis x Reader (Continued 3)

 (Author’s Note: I know the game’s been out for a while, but just in case, there is a SLIGHT SPOILER for the game at the end of this fic, if you’re concerned about that. 

ALSO while this is a continuation of a Cal Kestis series, it most certainly can be read on its own as a one-shot.

Ugh, he’s so beautiful.  That is all, thank you.)

   It was a seemingly endless downpour.  You watched the onslaught of raindrops through a viewport, relishing the comfort of the Mantis.  It was warm, and you had the lights switched off in your quarters to better observe the weather in your cozy state tucked in under a blanket.

   Even from another level of the ship, you could hear Greez and Cere conversing in the kitchen.  Greez was irritated as he hadn’t had his morning caf yet.  He was usually very easily irritated, though.  Cere was a calmer presence; strong, yet she reigned in that strength.  Still, her need for caf was also becoming more apparent as the conversation progressed.

   You spared a glance at the small work table in the corner of your room.  A mess of metal and spare lightsaber parts you’d collected on your journey rested there, with a crystal sitting in the very middle.  The project you had undertaken was to build a second saber, one to wield in addition to the one you already built some time ago.  You’d advanced very quickly in training with Cal, and with his and Cere’s approval, you made the decision to start training techniques with two sabers.

   You shifted on your bunk to lay on one side and look out the viewport again.  The rain was coming down even harder now, and it pounded against the side of the Mantis in a more intense, yet soothing rhythm.  You shut your eyes and enjoyed the sound.

   A warmth filled you, alerting you of the presence of a member of the Mantis crew that you’d become even closer to than you had to any of the others, though you loved them all like family.  His footsteps sounded outside the door, and there was a knock.

   “Come in,” you called, smiling.  The door slid open, and Cal strolled in.

   “Good morning,” he greeted, sitting on the edge of your bunk.  The mattress dipped, and you were pulled in his direction.  “Wonderful weather we’re having.”

   You grinned as he kissed your hand.  He had become more open to touch in general since you became a couple.  Normally he refrained from contact with others because of his ability to read the past and people’s emotions, and he wasn’t crazy about others being able to read him as well.  But with you, he had opened up, and you with him.

   “It is wonderful weather,” you agreed.  “For staying in.”

   Cal raised a brow.  “You mean, staying in after training is over for the day.”

   You sighed.  “Really?  You want me to train in that?”

   “You don’t want to run around in that?  Splash in puddles, feel the drops on your skin, and maybe even get a romantic kiss in the rain?”

   “See, when you put it that way, it does sound more appealing.  I know we’ve got to train, but I guess I’m just so cozy.  Give me a few and I’ll be ready.”

   “Don’t be long,” he teased, his hand lingering on yours for a minute as he stood to his feet.  He flashed a grin and left, the door sliding shut after his exit.  You fell back onto the pillow, groaning.

   “I’m so tired, but he’s so cute.”

- - - - -

   There you stood in the pouring rain, hair and clothes already soaked despite only being outside for a few minutes.  You activated your lightsaber, listening to the sizzling and hissing as raindrops hit the lazer blade.

   “Alright, first blocking technique.  Let’s go.”  Cal activated his saber as well and waited for the cue that you were ready.  When you nodded, he sped towards you, bringing the glowing blade down towards you.  You immediately raise yours to block, and the clash emitted a loud whoosh and hiss.  “Very good,” Cal congratulated.  Without warning, he pulled the blade back and went in for a strike to the side.  Your reflexes kicked in, and you turned your wrists to angle your saber down to catch Cal’s in an effective block.  Both blades flashed and crackled at the contact.

   You smirked.  “Thought you could catch me off-guard?”

   “No, I knew you’d catch it, or else I wouldn’t have swung.”

   “Good point.”

   Feeling particularly energetic, you pulled your lightsaber away and got into an attack stance.  Cal eyed you before doing the same.

   You’d never dueled him before, and considering the experience he had, you figured that you wouldn’t win.  It was just something new; a different approach to training.

   “Sure about this?” he questioned, brows raised.

   “Yes, very sure.”  

   And then you went for the first strike.

   Despite your close connection with Cal, you found it relatively easy to put that away and focus on the duel at hand.  He was strong and fast, but so were you.  Every time his lightsaber swung your way, you blocked it with ease and managed to maneuver into a counter-strike.  The rain had softened the dirt beneath to create mud that splattered everywhere and caused your boots and to slide.  Cal’s boots and pants were caked in mud too, but he didn’t let it phase him.

   The dance of skill and reflex was concluded with the final locking of your lightsaber blades, the two of you face-to-face.  The lightsabers reflected in his eyes beautifully, setting them aglow.

   “This isn’t exactly the kiss in the rain you lured me out here with,” you said, “but I have to admit, this was worth it.”

   Cal laughed, and the sound made you smile. 

   Then, everything changed.  He was suddenly dressed in dark armor, and his eyes were a frightening yellow.  They no no longer gazed back with the playful glint of competition, but were clouded with fear and anger instead.  The rest of his face was cold, expressionless.

   “Cal?” you cried, pushing against the lightsaber forcefully to send him back a few feet.  To be safe, you ran to put some more distance between you.

   “__________!” He called, and you halted in place.  When you turned around, he was himself again in his usual training clothes, soaked to the bone from the rain.  He had deactivated his lightsaber and held his empty hands up slightly.  “What’s wrong?”

   Even though the perceived danger was gone, your heart was still thumping loudly and your muscles itched to run.  It took a minute or so before you could approach him again, and when you did, you were unsure of what to say.  He gazed at you questioningly with lips pressed together in concern as you put your lightsaber away.

   Finally, you spoke up. “Cal, are you okay?”

   Confusion flashed in his eyes, but he replied calmly.  “You’re asking me if I’m okay?  I’m wondering if you’re alright, _________.  One minute, you were fine, and in the next instant you were running from me like I’d done something horrible.”

   “I saw something.  I know that fear isn’t the jedi way, but it scared me.”

   He took a step closer, but still kept a distance.  “What did you see?”

   “You…. but you weren’t yourself. There was darkness...”

   His expression hardened for a moment as he thought this over.  "When I looked at you," he said, "I was remembering the last time I was in a lightsaber duel, and I was haunted by the version of myself that I could be."

   "The dark side?"

   "Yes." He took another step, extending his hand in your direction with apologetic eyes.  "I'm so sorry you had to see that.  You and I are so in sync now, and I guess when the memory crossed my mind, it transferred to you."

   You took his hand, brushing your thumb over his knuckles.  "I'm sorry too.  I know that could never be you.  It just felt so real, and I got startled."

   “It’s okay.”  He took in a breath and leaned forward to press his forehead against yours.  “It’s over.  Because we got rid of that holocron, it’s a future that we don’t ever have to worry about.”

   “Yeah,” you sighed in relief.

- - - - -

   After you had changed out of your rain-soaked training gear, you were sitting comfortably in the kitchen booth while Cal made you a cup of (favorite hot drink).  Cere had gone to her quarters, and Greez had stepped outside to observe the weather from under the wing of the Mantis.

   Cal slid into the booth beside you, handing you the warm beverage, and wrapping an arm around your shoulder.  The rain still poured on the exterior of the ship, creating the soothing sound you heard as you sipped your drink.

   “Thank you,” you said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.  He cupped your face to keep you from pulling away, and he kissed your lips.

   “Your kiss in the rain,” he murmured.

   You pecked his chin playfully.  “Sorry, but we’re not in the rain.”  

   “Technically, we’re in a ship which is in the rain.”

   You hummed in thought.  “That’s a bit of a stretch, but I’ll let it slide.”

   You ran a hand through his hair and pressed another kiss to his cheek, lips, and nose as he smiled warmly.  With training out of the way and your technical kiss in the rain, you were ready for a cozy afternoon in with a holovid and a cuddle.

[thepeacetea]

Broken Angels Ch.3

Hi guys! Wow, i cant believe I’m on chapter 3 already! Thank you all for soooo much for all your likes, comments, and reblogs. Your support has been phenomenal! I really couldn’t have done it without you guys.  I am really happy you all like the story! I just want to do a quick shout out to @particularlygeeky for encouraging me to post this. Anyway i tried to tag everyone who asked and if I missed you I am really sorry. Just send me a message and l’ll get you the next chapter. Again, if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, let me know. Anyway, hope ya’ll enjoy! Peace!

“What’s got you into such a bad mood?”

The Wayne family were, for once, all home relaxing in one of the sitting rooms. Bruce, Dick, and Tim were discussing some aspect of Wayne Enterprises, Jason was channel surfing, while Damian had sunk into the couch with an irritated frown etched on his face. They had all noticed the change in the youngest but had refrained from asking earlier, but everyone was curious as to what had happened. No one was surprised when Jason had asked the question. Turning his glare at Jason did nothing to the older boy, all it did was make him raise a brow, waiting for an answer.

“Today was an annoyance.”

“Ha, when isn’t a day an annoyance to you? Naw, something else happened that ticked you off more normal.” Jason stated, popping a handful of candy into his mouth.

Damian would never understand how someone who acted so tough and violent could eat anything that colourful and full of sugar. Jason had been like that for as long as he had known him, and according to Dick, even longer.

“So, what happened?” Jason prodded again, grabbing another handful of candy.

Growling , Damian’s mind returned to early that day.

He was running late. He was never late. But there had to be an accident at the main intersection that backed up traffic, causing him to have to take a rather lengthy detour. Racing through the halls, he made it through the door just as the bell rang. The teacher, Mr. Spinale wasn’t there yet, which Damian thanked whatever god was out there. But that didn’t mean the rest of the class didn’t notice.

“I never thought I would live to see the day that the Damian Wayne would be late!” Claude shouted, shooting up from his seat.

Claude was . . . interesting. He was a loud mouth boy, who, no matter how blatantly Damian had ignored or told him off, kept coming back to tease him. By all fronts, Claude was a very likable person and had multiple friends. But he seemed to enjoy courting danger if his hobby of riling up the Ice Prince was any indication.

“And here I thought you were incapable of arriving before the bell rings.” Damian shot back, taking his seat. A series of ‘ooohhhs’ followed as Claude just laughed it off.

Before the anyone could say anything else, Mr. Spinale came in followed by fifteen other people, fourteen of them students. They were all chatting in French, but they all seemed to be enraptured by a story one of the girls was telling. Subconsciously, Damian’s mind assessed them and labeled them all as non-threats.

“Class, as you all should know, our school is hosting an exchange program with multiple international schools. Each school sent a class to represent them for three month.” Mr. Spinale stated. Damian could vaguely remember it being announced. It had been a contest or something with the best schools of other countries or something like that. Damian had never payed attention to it. “These students represent Collège Françoise Dupont of Paris, France. I expect you All to make them feel welcome” He instructed the class, casting Damian a meaningful look before turning to the exchange class. For a second, Damian saw confusion flash through Mr. Spinale’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Ms. Bustier. I was informed there was fifteen students. There’s only fourteen here.”

It was slight, but Damian caught the shift in the new class. They all looked as if they had tasted something bitter. The rest of his classmates didn’t seem to notice it, not that they noticed anything, but their reaction to the mention of said missing classmate intrigued him. Usually, a class would be worried if one of their own were missing. Or at least that’s what he had been told.

“We do, but the last one, Marinette, was sick today, so we left her at the hotel. But she should be here tomorrow or the day after.” The red headed teacher, Bustier, said. She had on a cheerful smile that didn’t sit right with Damian. As if she hiding something, or at the very lest wasn’t telling the whole truth.

Apparently Mr. Spinale felt the same way if the near unnoticeable narrowing of his eyes were any indication, but he just nodded once before directing the new students to sit down. It was no surprise to Damian when they grouped together, nor when a small argument broke out over who would sit with story girl.

As classes wore on, Damian watch in mild amusement as the two classes tried to interact. Key word was tried. Majority of the new class knew only basic English, while his classmates were mediocre in French. He ignored all attempts of conversation from the exchange class, sending them away with a bored glare or by immersing himself in a book. But while he didn’t talk with them, he did take the time to study them. Most of them were nothing special, nothing he would concern himself with, with the exception of one student. The one who had been the center of attention when they came in. The one who appeared to be everyone’s favorite. He quickly learned she was Italian, and a compulsive liar, if you could call her stories such. He listened as she fed her classmates story after story with so many names being dropped that he was honestly shocked that they believed them. No one, and he means no one who was anyone, would ever drop as many names as this girl was. In all honesty, he was disgusted at the sight.

Another thing he noticed was that the girl, was that she seemed hellbent on cozying up and charming anyone she deemed important or could possibly be influential in the class. So when she set her sights on him, Damian knew what he could expect. With what she thought to be an attractive sway on her hips, she sauntered up to him. Latching onto his arm, she introduced herself as Lila and began to spew a horrible lie of knowing the Wayne family, his family, and had the audacity to say that she was an honorary member of the family, practically being adopted by the boys themselves. So Damian did what he did best.

“I don’t care who you are, or who you think you know. But if you don’t remove yourself from my arm and my vicinity, then you’ll have a lot more to worry about then what rip-off brand you’ll be wearing tomorrow. Besides,” Damian said, barely casting a glance in her direction. “I don’t affiliated myself with someone as . . . tacky as yourself.” A slight sneer made its way to his face as he forcefully removed his arm from her grasp.

He had spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. Majority of the students who knew him simple shrugged before returning to their previous occupations. Some gave the girl pitying looks, but it wasn’t a new occurrence. They had lost count of how many girls had tried to cozy up with the Ice Prince only to end up burnt.

 For five, long seconds, Lila did nothing. It was as his words had frozen her. In that time, Damian watched as a flurry of emotions flash though her olive green eyes, eyes that reminded him of a snake. Shock, embarrassment, anger, confusion, where a few he could decipher before they settled on anger.

Almost instantly, her whole face changed as tears sprang to life, hurrying down her face before she let out one of the fakest sobs Damian had ever heard. This seemed to spur her class out of their stupor and rushing to her side as the snake started spouting out more lies in French.

“Hey! Why did you say that? She was . . . trying to be nice!” A dark, bi-spectacle redhead demanded, her thick French accent made her broken English harder to understand.

“Then she should learn about personal space.” With that final piece of advice, Damian grabbed his bag and strode out of the room, an aggravated scowl etching its way on his face for the rest of the day.

The rest of the day proceeded in the same fashion. The next three months were going to be very, very long.

“She actually said that!”

Damian shot Jason a glare that promised painful retaliation as said brother laughed. His other brothers where no help as they tried, miserably, to hid their amusement. Bruce was just shaking his head at the boys antics. Alfred had the smallest smile playing on his face, one that if you looked to long made you question if it was there at all.

“I hate you all.” Damian muttered, glaring at the lot of them

“I’m sorry, it’s just. Wow. I almost wish I could see that for myself, and I am all out of candy. I’ll be right back.” Jason said, jumping off the couch and disappearing around the corner.

“How does he eat so much of that stuff?”

“We have no idea. Oh, turn on the news. They’re suppose to cover that crash at the intersection.” Tim said.

“ . . .  As many of you know, the intersection on Main and Boulevard was closed this morning due to what could have been, a fatal collision. At 8:15 this morning, a young girl was near struck by a speeding Toyota Tundra. If it wasn’t for the quick thinking of Police Commissioner James Gordon, it would have been a fatal collision. We have had dozens of videos submitted showing before, during, and after the near incident.”

The image was then cut to a shaky video taken from a phone, show Commissioner Gordon bolting for a very tiny girl who was frozen in the path of the oncoming truck. The video showed Gordon tackling the girl. The view fell to the ground as the cameraman ran out into the street, catching Gordon yelling at the crowd while barking orders into his comm. It showed the girl had launched herself at Gordon with a heart wrenching cry. Gordon’s shocked face as he held the breaking girl, stroking her hair in a effort to calm her.

“As you can see, the civilian wasn’t injured in the crash, but some other footage showed something interesting.”

Another video appeared. This time, the sound was muffled but the footage was clear. It showed Gordon still holding the girl as someone was talking to her. As she turned her head, the camera caught a full view of her face. The frame froze, giving viewer a clear picture of her wide eyes dilated with panic, the swollen right side of her face, with a hand print displayed for all to see.

The sound of glass shattering snapped the entire family’s attention away from the news as the anchorman continued to talk. Their eyes landed on Jason, who stood frozen in the doorway, shattered glass mixed with candy lay scattered around him. Damian was about to snap at him when he saw the look on his brother’s face. Complete, utter shock and fear was etched on Jason’s face.

“Nettie?”

  @mystery-5-5 @captainmac6 @you-will-never-know-how-I-think @mochineko @sonif50 @zalladane @thebananathatwrites @schrodingers25 @kuroko26 @miraculousbelladonna @souleaterlicestein @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @ijustwannabecanadian @ellerahs @ranger-paladinikoe @xxmadamjinxx @derpingrainbow @sassy-spocko@vixen-uchiha @mjisntme @iggy-of-fans @violentbisexualprophecywriter @valeks-princess @crazylittlemunchkin @redscarlet95  @alexzandria-747 @ayuchan07  @whomthefyck @rhub4rb @constancetruggle @rikku052 @kurogaya913 @shizukiryuu @spicybelladonna @zazzlejazzle @luciferge @mewwitch @emotionalsupportginger @grunklestantheman @my-name-is-michell @northernbluetongue 

[megalony]

A mother’s love- Part 2

Here is the second part of my new King! Ben Hardy series which I hope everyone will enjoy, thank you all for the lovely feedback so far.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog​

Series taglist: @onceuponadetectivedemigod​

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) lost their first baby but now they have a baby boy together, an heir to the throne. But life is far from easy when (Y/n)’s mental health starts to take a bad turn.

Enjoy.

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When (Y/n) managed to gain the energy to open her sore eyes, it took longer than it should have for her mind to come back around and work out where she was and what was happening. It felt like there was a storm raging in (Y/n)'s head and the mist was far from beginning to clear. All her limbs felt like they were bars of gold that were unwilling to comply with her demands and move.

Tears began to well in (Y/n)'s blurring eyes when she couldn't move an inch, feeling like she was about to sink further into the mattress until she disappeared forever. Maybe that’s what she wanted, to disappear into nothing, something in the back of her mind was telling her that disappearing would be better than waking up. But as her blurring eyes tried to look at her surroundings, (Y/n) saw that she was in her room that was lit with cascading lights of orange and pale yellow coming from the gap between the curtains.

Memories and voices swirled around in her head like they were stuck in a washing machine until (Y/n) could do nothing but cry at the events she was remembering that brought her here.

(Y/n) had wanted a baby so badly after losing her first, she had a desperate yearning to hold her baby in her arms and feel them moving and wriggling and smiling up at her or just to see their beautiful eyes open. But now that she had gotten what she wished for, (Y/n) didn't know if it was truly what she wanted. She didn't know if she was ready to be a mother when she couldn't find the emotions she wanted to possess towards her baby. She couldn't be a mother if she felt repulsion towards the baby that had caused her so much pain.

Her breathing quickened in pace when she felt a familiar hand rubbing up and down her arm but as soon as her eyes were staring up at Ben, hundreds more tears flooded her face and a broken sound escaped her lips.

She didn't exactly know why she was crying. Maybe it was because she could still feel the pain surging through her, maybe it was the thoughts that were making her feel like a horrible person. Or maybe it was the fact that whatever sedative had been pushed into her veins was making her feel like she was paralysed with no control over her thoughts or her body.

Whatever the reason was, (Y/n) couldn't stop the tears from falling, especially when she felt Ben's hand brushing against her face, his thumb swiping away the tears as best he could.

"Shh, it's okay baby, you're okay." Ben continued to run his hand over her cheek until (Y/n) seemed to find the ability to move. Her hands flailed around at her sides but her movements were slower than normal, most probably due to the sedative still not out of her system yet. When it became clear that (Y/n) was trying to move and push herself up, Ben took the initiative and carefully wrapped his arms around her frame. He effortlessly lifted her up until she was sat upright, leaning against the pillows that she sank into as they moulded around her frame.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes as (Y/n) tried to gather her bearings and gain control over her own body again. But the more control she seemed to gain, the worse she started to feel. Her head was swimming, her body felt groggy and odd and her frame was starting to shake. The moment her hands and arms seemed to shake and jerk worse, (Y/n) enclosed her arms against her chest, her wide eyes full of confusion and pain which made Ben bite down on his lip to stop himself from crying too.

"It's just the medicine wearing out, baby, it won't last long." Ben inched a bit closer to (Y/n) before he moved his arms, waiting for her to tell him that it was okay to hold her. When (Y/n) found the ability to nod, Ben swooped in and wrapped his arms around her, relieved she wasn't pushing him away.

(Y/n) didn't know what time it was but it looked like it was sometime in the early morning, but that didn't tell (Y/n) if she had only been asleep for a few hours or if she'd possibly been out for over a day. But when she took note that Ben was wearing the same wrinkled white button up shirt as he had when she'd been in labour, she guessed it had been a mere few hours of sleep she'd gotten.

They stayed wrapped up like that for over ten minutes before (Y/n) felt the shaking gradually subsiding enough that she felt somewhat calmer and more in control. (Y/n) felt her chest slowly calming down rather than heaving from shock and pain and she pulled just a little bit out of Ben's comforting embrace so she could look up at her husband.

(Y/n) tried to force herself to smile but before she could even get the courage to form a smile, her eyes welled up with more tears and pain. She watched the confusion pooling in Ben's eyes and the worry on his face when he noticed (Y/n)'s sudden change in expression. But when her lips fell at the corners and her breathing started to stutter, he couldn't tell whether she was in some kind of pain or if something had suddenly dawned on her. Ben froze in his place, having no time to ask her what was wrong before (Y/n) was reaching her lightly trembling hand to the side of his face, and it suddenly dawned on Ben what was wrong.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." (Y/n) could hardly speak through the tears and how dry her throat was causing her to croak. She remembered thrashing her arms out at Ben last night but she didn't realise she'd gone as far as to hurt him.

Ben had a cut on his jaw and a small bruise on his cheek that was barely visible but it was an eyesore to (Y/n) now she knew she'd done that. (Y/n) would never intentionally hurt Ben but she had been in so much pain that she could hardly remember last night.

Reaching his hand up, Ben placed his hand over (Y/n)'s as he managed to smile. He knew that (Y/n) didn't mean to hurt him and he would never hold it against her, she had been in so much pain and he knew sedating (Y/n) wasn't the right thing to do. He should have tried harder to calm (Y/n) down but she had been making herself worse so he thought it was the best thing to do.

"It's fine, sweetheart, it wasn't your fault... I shouldn't have let him sedate you." Ben turned his head to kiss the palm of (Y/n)'s hand, thankful she seemed to calm down rather quickly.

As angry and confused as (Y/n) had felt last night, she knew even though sedating her had made her feel groggy and awful right now, it had been the right thing to do. She had been in distress and (Y/n) didn't know if she would have been able to fall asleep without some kind of medication to help her.

Turning his head, Ben glanced his eyes over to the foot of the bed when he heard their baby boy quietly gurgling. For the past seven hours that (Y/n) had been asleep, Ben had been switching between keeping watch over their baby boy and keeping an eye on (Y/n). It had started to worry him when she didn't move a muscle because Ben knew (Y/n) always tossed and turned in her sleep, he usually ended up waking with (Y/n) sprawled on top of him or with her limbs entangled with his.

When the doctor gave their boy some medication it seemed to send him to sleep for a little while but he kept stirring and seeing him wriggling and waking up made Ben feel relief.

Slowly untangling himself from (Y/n), Ben pressed a tender kiss to her forehead before he moved to check on their boy, seeing if he was awake or not. Reaching into the cot, Ben carefully picked the newborn up and held him to his chest. Ben didn't think he was ever going to get used to this feeling when he could still clearly remember what it felt like to hold his baby who didn't wriggle or move or even open his eyes.

Ben perched back down on the bed, crossing one leg under the other before he turned to look at (Y/n) with a gentle smile.

"Do you want to hold him?" Ben moved his arms closer to (Y/n) but his smile faded from his lips when (Y/n) shook her head instantly. She didn't even seem to debate the question, she clearly didn't want him right now but what made Ben's heart shatter was how (Y/n) wasn't even looking at him.

She hadn't seen their baby boy, she didn't know if he had small tufts of hair or not, she didn't know what colour eyes he had, how big or small he was, she wasn't willing to even glance over at him. Ben's head leaned to the side as a sorrowful expression took over his face when (Y/n) closed her eyes and burrowed her head into the pillow as she slowly laid down.

(Y/n) didn't want to hold him, she didn't want to feel that different weight in her arms that would undoubtedly be moving this time rather than being a dead weight that she remembered. She didn't want to look at him because she had the image of her other baby engraved into her mind. If she stared at their boy for too long she feared she would forget what their first baby looked like and she couldn't have that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A small but rather nervous smile worked its way onto Ben's features when his eyes focused on (Y/n). He brought his hand to his mouth, biting down on his thumb like he was trying to obscure his smile or stop himself from smiling too widely and give away the reason why he was smiling.

Trying to keep his breathing slow and even, Ben approached the bed that (Y/n) was sitting on and moved to sit beside her. He kept a small membrane of space between them out of precaution but he continued to stay silent, watching the scene unfold before his eyes. Needless to say, when (Y/n) wouldn't hold or even look at their baby it rung alarm bells in Ben's mind. Considering when they lost their first baby, (Y/n) had almost fought with the midwife to hold her baby and refused to let him go.

But it had now been two days since their baby had been born and this was the first time Ben had seen (Y/n) holding their boy for so long. She held him for the first time yesterday afternoon and seemed to smile before putting him down, not saying a word. She went back to pick him up a few more times throughout the evening but not for too long.

"How do you feel?" Ben reached a cautious hand over to rub up and down her lower back as he leaned against the pillows, gently resting his head on her shoulder when she didn't pull away from him.

"A bit better, I think." (Y/n) found that it felt a bit easier to smile now than yesterday where it took a lot of energy to force herself to smile when she held her baby.

She still felt exhausted, in pain, confused and weak with no energy but she was much better than she had been for the past two days. (Y/n) had to keep putting their boy down yesterday because she couldn't stop herself from imagining how much of a dead weight he felt and she kept having to stop herself from pressing her finger to his neck to check his pulse. It felt too familiar, too much like she was slipping back into the past when their boy wasn't screaming at her.

But he was calmer today, he was settled and Ben had given him some of the medicine the doctor left so he wouldn't be feeling any pain from his broken bone. (Y/n) could hold him better when he wasn't screaming, she felt more relaxed and when he wriggled it made her feel so much relief.

"Good, are you hungry? You haven't eaten anything yet." Ben pressed his lips to her shoulder, begging for her to say she was the slightest bit hungry because for the past two days (Y/n) had only been having drinks of juice and no food.

"Not really... I- I might get some fruit or something in a little while." (Y/n) knew eating would make her feel more awake and give her some energy but she was too tired and her appetite had disappeared since labour started. But she was in a much more elated mood right now so she might try and force herself to eat a little food in a while.

Ben hummed against her skin, focusing his eyes on their baby boy who was almost back to sleep in (Y/n)'s arms.

"Can we call him James?" (Y/n)'s sudden question surprised Ben and caused him to pick his head up from her shoulder so he could look at her properly. Names had been discussed a lot during the pregnancy but nothing had been decided and no name in particular had been put on a shortlist. Ben had thought about a few names but he didn't want to talk about that yet until (Y/n) felt better.

He noticed her tone seemed rather placid like she was indifferent about the subject or that it wasn't much of a big deal but he brushed off the thought and concentrated on how much better (Y/n) seemed to be feeling today.

"I think that's a good choice." Ben brushed his finger over James' cheek whilst he let the name sink in.

Choosing a name wasn't easy because any name they chose had to be a name that came from the royal line, such as Henry or Charlie (Charles) or Victoria or Mary, something traditional that people would agree with. James was certainly a traditional name and it was one (Y/n) could agree with. She couldn't dare to pick Charlie because although it was a good name for a kid, the thought of his proper name being Charles put her right off.

When they had their first boy the thought of a name slipped from Ben's mind for a while because he'd been rendered thoughtless from learning their baby was stillborn. He couldn't think of naming him when he knew he wasn't going to breathe or grow up or even open his eyes. But a name had been pressing on (Y/n)'s mind and she wanted to call him Finn, after a good friend.

Ben's mother had dared to tell (Y/n) that Finn wasn't traditional and therefore it couldn't be chosen but she soon backed down when (Y/n) angrily cried that he was dead and therefore wouldn't take the precious throne so a traditional name didn't matter. No one else disagreed about the name when it was for a deceased child.

(Y/n) smiled lightly as she adjusted James in her arms but her smile couldn't reach her eyes or her heart.

James had the left sleeve of his onesie safety pinned to his chest to keep his arm in place so he didn't disturb his broken bone and that was catching her attention. He came into the world screaming like his pain was worse than her own and he demanded the attention he didn't deserve. (Y/n) had heard the maids and even her parents whispering about 'the poor baby' and how he had 'suffered' but they didn't know the meaning of the word. James had it easy as far as (Y/n) was concerned, he was the one who decided to move when he shouldn't have and he got himself stuck, that was his own fault so he deserved what came to him.

The doctor had to hurt (Y/n) in order to get James into the world and all he got was a broken bone for his own trouble. (Y/n) was the one who felt like she'd been stabbed over a hundred times and had to have the doctor messing around twisting and turning the baby that had gotten stuck. She was the one who started bleeding badly because of James' ignorance.

Now everyone was just going to see James' pain and fuss over him without realising what a nuisance he had been to (Y/n).

There was a part of (Y/n) that was also wondering why James couldn't have been a girl. If he had been a girl then (Y/n) could have felt a bit better, a bit easier in herself. If she had a girl when everyone was hoping and expecting for a boy it would have made her smile in their faces. Everyone had told her how she needed to produce an heir and they meant a boy, but if she had a girl their heads would have turned in distaste, they would have been annoyed and (Y/n) could have laughed and felt proud to have a future Queen rather than a King.

(Y/n) went through all of that pain and turmoil just to give everyone what they had been wanting when they didn't deserve it. All of those spectators, the members of the council and her own family made her feel worthless and like she was only good for having a child and she gave them the boy they wanted.

(Y/n) was brought out of her sinking thoughts when there was a knock at the door that caused a shiver to run down her spine. For the past two days the only person who had been able to enter the room other than Ben was the doctor. (Y/n) didn't want to see anyone else, not even allowing any of the maids to come into the room at all.

Her eyes darted to look at Ben like she was begging for him to tell them to go away but both their eyes drifted to look back to the door when it slowly opened and Ben's mother peeked her head around the door.

"Hello dears, can I come in?"

A sigh passed through (Y/n)'s lips before she dully nodded, trying very hard to refrain from rolling her eyes. She could hardly say no when she had pushed everyone out for the past two days. Normally by the second day at the latest, the royal couple would go and let a few pictures be taken of them and the newborn. But (Y/n) had been far too ill to do so and she wouldn't let anyone take James out of the room despite not wanting to hold him.

When Anne walked into the room and perched down on the bed near to (Y/n) her eyes seemed to light up as a smile formed on her lips when she peeked over to look at her first grandchild. There was no doubt that she was pleased it was a boy but if she spoke those views Ben knew well enough that (Y/n) would force his mother out of the room at once.

"Oh, he's beautiful! How is he, not in any pain I hope?" She brushed her fingers over the small ash coloured tufts of hair on top of his head but her words made (Y/n)'s smile fall from her lips.

(Y/n) was in pain.

"No, he's fine." (Y/n) kept her eyes on James, not seeing the worry pooling in Ben's eyes when he looked over at her. He'd been with her long enough to know when something was wrong and he knew it was to do with James but all he could think of was that (Y/n) didn't know how to cope when they'd ended up with no child last time around. This was hardly going to be smooth sailing for either of them.

"Oh good, come on let me hold him."

Something stabbed at (Y/n)'s heart when those words registered in her ears but she didn't know why. She was hardly one to want to hold James for very long right now but the thought of someone other than Ben holding and tending to him felt like someone was prodding at her heart.

(Y/n) held her breath in her lungs for as long as he could manage when she settled James into Anne's arms before recoiling her arms to her chest. Why did it feel so wrong to give him to someone else just for a few minutes when she didn't feel attached to him? Surely it was a good thing to let someone else have James for now?

Barely a minute had passed since Anne took James into her arms but Ben could clearly see that it was causing some kind of distress for (Y/n). The way she was subconsciously scratching at her shoulder and neck was like she was trying to gain back some kind of control over herself or telling herself she had to be calm when she didn't feel like it. Saying nothing, Ben moved his hand until his fingers were entwining with (Y/n)'s to stop her from scratching when she got dangerously close to breaking the skin.

"We've decided to call him James." Ben smiled over at his mother, watching as she looked up from the newborn to smile at the couple, clearly it was a name she could agree with.

"Oh, that is a nice name, fitting for a little prince." (Y/n) leaned her head to the side at Anne's words, focusing her vision on James to try and calm herself down but it wasn't working. She didn't think he looked like a James, no child looked like they suited their name but she hoped he would grow into the name. "I think it's much better than... oh what was it-"

"Finn." The word passed through gritted teeth before (Y/n) tore her hand from Ben's. If it was up to her there would be no guidelines about what they could or couldn't call their children just because it didn't sound posh enough. Finn wasn't a posh name but (Y/n) didn't like the snobbish, high class names, she'd rather have something down to Earth that she knew she liked. She wanted to pick something that sounded nice, not that sounded wealthy.

"Mother, please don't do start that now." Ben's tone was warning his mother that she was treading on thin ice and he hardly sounded kind.

"I only meant that-"

"Can you go now?" (Y/n) chipped in before she suddenly leaned forward and took James from her arms without asking or giving her a chance to realise what was going on. (Y/n) shushed James when he whimpered at the sudden movement and she rocked him in the crook of her arm, desperate for him not to start crying or she would have to hand him over to Ben. She couldn't deal with his cries right now.

(Y/n) refused to look over at Anne, she kept her focus solely on the baby in her arms, nor did she care to listen to whatever Anne said before Ben urged her to go. He saw no point in letting his mother stay and distress (Y/n) when she still wasn't very well. She was holding and tending to James and that was a vast improvement, Ben didn't want his mother to jeopardise that.

Moving her hand, (Y/n) gently brushed her thumb over James' arm that was pinned to his chest to try and make him feel more comfortable. But when he began to whimper, a sigh left her lips before she brushed her thumb over his cheek to try and calm him down. Why was he starting to cry? He was on pain medication for his injury but (Y/n) wasn't. No one had offered her any pain relief for her broken body or her tattered mind and soul, she was stuck in her pain but James was given the relief because he was the little baby prince.

'You don't know what pain is.'

[appleseverywhere]

Back To You

Hey everyone! I made a quick angsty fic of Winter and Qrow and wanted to share it with you all. Honestly, it was supposed to be a one-shot, but I figured that maybe I could continue it part by part. It’s based off a song so I hope you all enjoy!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13636107/1/Back-To-You https://archiveofourown.org/works/25129234

Took you like a shot Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening Let a couple years water down how I'm feeling about you

The evening was much colder around this time in Atlas. The snow had begun to fall weeks ago, covering the roads of both Mantle and Atlas. With the temperature getting lower, the council had already instructed for the activation of more fire dust to keep the citizens warm. The kingdom was known for its freezing degrees all year round, but nights such as this were bound to make the winds far more cold-hearted.

Just like how she always saw herself.

Winter didn't realize just how cold it was until she realized she had walked too far away from any thermal generators within the city. The path she had been walking looked almost deserted, if not for the Atlesian knights she saw stationed nearby. The road she had been walking on long disappeared in the snow, her boots crunching with each step she took.

She hadn't known just where she was headed until she found herself at a bar at the edge of the kingdom. It wasn't like any of the lowly bars that she would see in Mantle, but it wasn't as high-class as the ones she was forced to go to in the center of Atlas.

Thanks to the coat she had decided to wear, her uniform was kept hidden from common eyes. Her hair, though still a very striking feature of her Schnee heritage, wasn't given much attention by the locals inside, though she thought it was because she had hidden it in her hood.

Finding a secluded booth in the corner, she decided to settle in, pulling down her hood. A waitress approached her, providing her a small menu full of alcoholic drinks.

Never in her life did she see herself taking a drop of alcohol after what she went through growing up with an alcoholic mother that neglected her and her siblings. But now, she didn't seem to control her actions upon ordering a glass of whiskey.

As the drink gets placed in front of her, she racks her brain for the reason that she had ended up here in the first place.

Qrow's arrival with several students from Beacon, her own sister included, was much of a surprise to her as it was for him.

She saw the look on his face when he laid eyes on her upon their arrival as they made their way to the General's office. She hadn't expected to see him after the fall of Beacon, more so, discuss with him matters about ancient relics, magical maidens, and Salem.

She forced herself to keep her face straight as she had always trained herself to do. Leading them to the office at the time, she could feel his stare on her back, almost sending shivers down her spine, but pushed the thought aside.

After their discussion in the office, they had all been dismissed, with the students being toured around the academy by Penny, and she and Qrow being left to discuss other matters with the General. Much of their talk involved avoiding his glances and pursing her lips hard when not spoken to, hiding any evidence of her emotions.

"That will be all for now, Qrow. Winter will lead you to your room. Since the students have their own dorm rooms, you'll be staying within the officer's quarters," Ironwood says, not at all noticing the tension that had formed between the two.

"Yes, sir," Winter says as she stands for her seat, arms pressing behind her back as she walks to the door, waiting for Qrow to follow her. It unnerved her to have to spend time with him alone, even if it was just to guide him to his room.

Their footsteps resounded against the large hallways of the academy, her steps being more distinct than his as her heels clicked against the polished tiles. The halls were empty, school no longer in session for the evening while students rested in the rooms. Despite being the only sound they heard, she could hear her heart pounding in her ears with each step, and it only made her more eager to be done with his presence.

All she had wanted at that moment was to bring him to his room, bid him a good night, and leave without another word.

Too many thoughts were creeping their way into her mind, and she wanted nothing more than to get rid of them. It proved to be a difficult task with Qrow being only a foot away from her, the warmth of his skin almost taunting her cold demeanor.

He had been quiet the whole way to his quarters, but she knew better.

His mind was going wild, and the way his eyes lasted a second longer when he looked at her gave him away.

He wanted to talk, she knew because she felt just the same. It didn't take any form of magic to sense that there was a lot of tension going on. Unlike him though, she knew better than to act on the voices screaming at her in her head, words that caused her heart to clench and ache.

Their mannerisms had yet to change.

He was an obnoxious prick in her opinion. Boisterous. Loud. Annoying.

She was an uptight spoiled brat in his. Overly reserved. Robotic. Monotonous.

They were opposites of the other, something in the world that was never meant to meet or clash.

Neither had the intention to get to know the other, knowing it would only bring further frustration. It was the reason why every time they met, it had always involved a fight, with swords clashing loudly. There dislike for each other becoming a prominent feature in the aftermath of their duels.

That was how it went on for years, until one day, it wasn't.

It started with their usual bickering.

Him annoying her constantly.

Her nagging him endlessly.

It should've played out just the same as their previous endeavors. This time, he had been annoying her about being an Ice Queen. Emotionless. It frustrated her to no end even though she knew that deep down, that was exactly how she raised herself to be.

Out of habit, she had wanted to prove him wrong. She wanted to show him that she wasn't just some heartless person.

She wanted at least one person in her life to think that she wasn't just some military tool and an ex-heiress to a cruel company.

She found him in a bar after that, clearly annoyed about his remarks that she demanded to have another duel outside. He whined to her that some people were already sleeping as the night had already fallen for the day. Her narrowed eyes met his own smug ones as he offered her a drink, telling her to loosen up.

Taking it as a challenge, she had accepted.

She instantly regretted it upon the first sip, almost spitting it back out in disgust as the bitter taste flowed down her throat.

She remembered her mother and her horrible habit and wondered how she could tolerate such drinks.

He laughed at the time, surprised that she had taken up his offer, and was further surprised that she had a few more glasses before finally noticing just how much the alcohol was getting to her.

He found the slurring of her words adorable and the way she laughed was something he thought he would never get tired of hearing. She asked him to stand up with her, looking up at him and noticing how he was a head taller than her without her heels. He laughed, and she didn't stop the smile from spreading on her face.

Her smile caught him by surprise, captivating him at that moment.

She was beautiful, he thought.

He asked the bartender for water, making sure she drank a lot to sober her up before deciding that it would be alright for them to finally leave.

He led her back to the hotel she had been staying in during her visit to Vale, and she decided that she didn't want to just tell him a good night.

Before he could comprehend what she meant, she pulled him down for a kiss, letting out whatever emotion she hadn't released in the years they had known each other. She kept him in place, standing on her tiptoes to reach his height, her arms snaking around his shoulders to pull him to her. He, on the other hand, was stunned. His eyes went wide as she reached up to meet his lips, his hands frozen at his sides.

She retracted her lips slightly, a feeling of disappointment washing over her. She didn't know if she was disappointed in herself for being vulnerable, or in Qrow for not returning what she had apparently felt. Before she could pull away completely, his arm slicked around her waist to keep her in place. A hand cupped her cheek as she felt Qrow's lips on her own.

Her heart fluttered at the new feeling, an unusual sensation setting in her stomach as she kissed him back with fervor.

Their treatment of each other had changed since then, still having the occasional bickering and dueling, only to apologize to the other at the end of the day, accompanied by a series of kisses and heightened touches each time.

Despite their actions, no one had suspected anything.

Before her last visit to Vale and before the fall of Beacon, it had been much different.

It had been the same banters, nuisances, bickering, dueling, and comfort. That night, Winter had admitted that she wouldn't be back in Vale for possibly over a year, with Atlas changing their protocols and she being in charge of the new safety measures of the kingdom.

After getting used to each other's presence every month for years, it was going to be difficult to keep up whatever it was that they had. Winter, being the first to realize it, tried to ask what it was that was happening to them in the first place. Qrow had no answer for her.

She was leaving the following morning, and she had planned to give him a simple kiss farewell.

Instead, she found herself being unable to let him go.

Before either of them could comprehend what was happening, they found themselves in his apartment, making their way to his bedroom in a heated mess. Their clothes had gotten lost on the way as they isolated their minds to the feelings that took over.

His skin was warm compared to her own, she noticed, as he caressed each curve of her body. His fingertips danced on her smooth skin as she let her hands dig themselves behind his shoulders. Her fingertips tangled themselves in his hair, becoming consumed with an incredible sensation. She relished in the pleasure he gave her, and she kissed him hungrily in return.

She tried her best to memorize every detail of him, the feel of her body on hers, the way he spoke her name, the callousness of his hands entangled in her own. She wanted it all to last, but she knew that it wouldn't.

Instead, she let herself drown in him, knowing all too well what the morning would bring.

He awoke to the empty space of her absence, leaving only her scent in his sheets as proof that the night before had all been real. He tugged on the pillow she laid on, her scent of lavender and vanilla tainting its covers. He hugged it tight before feeling his emotions crash on him. Tears prickled his eyes as he let them flow, staining the space she was supposed to be in.

They hadn't talked after that night, although on some nights, he found himself staring at the call button of his scroll with her number lighting up the screen, not having the courage to talk to her. Back in Atlas, she had also found herself staring at a blank message, never knowing what she wanted to say to him.

After the year had passed, she returned to Vale, her purpose to ensure the safety of the Vytal Festival in Beacon Academy.

While apart, he resumed his drunk and obnoxious ways, while she hardened herself further with her training. It was just as if they had returned to their old ways.

Once he saw her again, he taunted her.

Her eyes narrowed, knowing well that he had gotten himself drunk once again. She had told him once how much she hated it and noticed how he significantly lessened his intake after her lecture.

Here he was once again... like it never happened.

Another duel played out before them, for everyone in Beacon to see.

She released her rage at his teasing, never aiming to harm him but was eager to show him just how angry she had become.

And he knew. But continued to tease her anyway

Being called to the headmaster's office with him in the same room was nerve-wracking, and for her to be dismissed with him winking at her leave just fueled her rage.

They hadn't spoken during her visit, and that's when she felt like everything from the year before was one huge mistake.

With the fall of Beacon, she was terrified.

She had no knowledge if he survived or not, and there was no way of finding out if he did with the destruction of Vale's CCT tower.

She could only pray to the Gods that he was alive.

Now here he was.

Walking so close to her that she almost felt his touch on her arm.

It burned her.

She was grateful that they were approaching the quarters, so she could dismiss him and leave for her peace.

She could sense his looks from the periphery of her eye but did nothing to acknowledge it. His eyes were pleading, knowing that it would have been a good time to finally talk after the year they've had. They were alone, and she cursed at the fact.

As they arrived in front of his door, she turned to leave. He grabbed her arm, and as she turned her head questioningly, she saw the desperation in his eyes.

"Winter..." he breathed out in a whisper.

A breath slipped her lips as she kept her trained eyes forward.

She was always better at keeping her thoughts to herself, and he was always better at displaying affection.

He just made everything difficult.

Which was why she found herself pressed up against the door of his room, his mouth melding with her own in a sweet dance.

Her fingers slid their way to his hair, tugging at it lightly as she pulled him into her, encouraging his actions. He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her to him as if she was the most precious treasure in the world. One of his hands found her own, intertwining their fingers as he pinned them against the door. She gasped, catching her breath before returning to his lips.

This wasn't how it should be.

She wouldn't let herself make the same mistake.

"Qrow..." she says in between their kisses.

She knew she no longer had the willpower to stop him, which was why for once, she had to plead.

He caught the tone of her voice and stopped, blinking once, before realizing the situation they had gotten themselves in once again. He stepped back before rubbing the back of his neck, not knowing what to say.

"I-I don't think now is a good time," she whispers more to herself than to him.

He could only nod, not wanting to force her.

Before she could step out of his room, he asks, "When?"

She knew that they had much to talk about, but she was too vulnerable to do it now.

"Soon," was all she said before she closed his door and walked away, grabbing her coat in her room, before making her way out of the academy and finding herself in the local bar.

She sipped her drink, letting the bitterness sink in, just like her own emotions.

She sighed before taking another sip, hoping to wash everything away.

[jenonctcity]

Chances - Part 6

Na Jaemin/Huang Renjun – Fluff/Angst

Ex-husband!Jaemin/Husband!Renjun

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: None.

Request: Requested by anon – Your past with Jaemin, the pregnancy, the divorce, and how you meet and marry Renjun.

A/N: Just in case this is confusing for anyone, this is part of the Chances series. It does go with the current story of Chances and is going to be set out like a timeline of the events that happened before the series took place. However, it can be read as a standalone piece or like a prequel. But I would recommend checking out the other parts of this series if you get confused. Hope you enjoy!

 Meeting Jaemin:

University was kicking your ass. Between your daily classes and your demanding job at a restaurant, you were left feeling tired and emotionally drained. You didn’t have a choice but to carry on though, money being tight and your education costing you far too much money to skip any nugget of information they were willing to provide you. You had little to no social life, the only person you really interacted with was with your roommate, who herself wasn’t much of a talker. Loneliness consumed you at all the wrong times, it mostly happened late at night after a shift at the restaurant. You’d tuck yourself into bed and let out a sigh, wishing you could cross the room and nudge your roommate awake for a chat. But you didn’t know the girl well enough to do that and you were almost certain it would make her dislike you.

The day you tripped down a couple of steps at university from not paying attention to your feet as much as someone as tired as you were should have, was the day that changed your life. Your wrist was causing agony to throb through your nerves, all your pain receptors on red alert and forcing you to call in sick to work to head to the emergency room. It was absolutely heaving with people of all ages due to it being a Friday evening. There were only 3 seats left available and you weighed up your options as you studied the people, they were situated next to. A drunk couple who both had similar cuts on their foreheads, you could only assume they’d done something highly dumb to end up with those injuries. An old man who was slouching into the free seat next to him as he started dozed off, his eyes dark underneath like he hadn’t slept in weeks. He looked like he tried to fight off sleep until he started to have a coughing fit, sitting up straight and coughing into his hands. And finally, a young man who had bleached blonde hair dyed a light pink, dressed from head to toe in a black adidas tracksuit, his arms folded across his chest and his knee jittering as he waited. You were unaware what he was waiting to be seen for as you couldn’t see any physical injuries on him, but as you looked between all three options again, you decided he was the lucky winner.

You quickly approached him, hugging your wrist to your chest as you cleared your throat, gaining his attention as he looked up at you.

“Is this seat taken?” You asked, smiling weakly at him.

“No, go ahead.” He copied your smile, watching you for a moment as you sat beside him. You looked around the emergency room, trying to find something remotely entertaining to watch, also regretting that you didn’t bring the book you’d been trying to finish for the past 2 months with you. “What did you do to your wrist? Or is it your hand?” You heard the boy ask you, his voice deep and his tone was warm.

“I er…tripped down some stairs.” You looked at him and laughed softly. “Not my finest moment.” You winced as you jostled your wrist by accident when you moved it to your lap instead of cradling it to your chest. “What are you in here for? You don’t look like you did something dumb and injured yourself.” You tried to joke with him, this being your only form of entertainment. The longer you looked at the handsome boy the more you became self-conscious of you what you assumed was your messy state. You hadn’t actually seen your reflection since you’d left your dorm that morning, but you presumed your hair had gotten messier, and your mascara had smudged from the tears you’d shed upon your unexpected meeting with the hard ground.

“Oh no I’m not here for me, I’m just here as support.” He flashed you a wide smile, motioning to the boy sitting beside him whose eyes were swollen shut. “Dummy over here forgot about his hay fever allergies and went running through a field of flowers like Bambi on crack.” He sniggered when his friend reached out to hit him but missed due to his lack of eyesight. Merely swiping at the air and just missing someone as they walked past.

“Hey! just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I can’t hear, you ass.” His friend whined, folding his arms over his chest like a disgruntled child. You giggled at the two of them, your eyes feeling crusty from the dried tears when your smile reached your eyes.

“Pipe down Jeno, you’re lucky I brought you here and didn’t just leave you to blindly make your way here after you drank my banana milk.” Jeno didn’t reply, only sinking further into his seat as he sulked. Jaemin turned his head back to you and smiled again, his eyes raking over the span of your face and he couldn’t help but think about how naturally beautiful you looked. Even if you did have smudged eye makeup and needed to comb your hair. “What’s your name?”

“(Y/N).”

“Nice to meet you (Y/N), I’d shake your hand, but I kind of can’t right now.” He smiled warmly when his attempt of a joke made you giggle.

“Maybe some other time.” You didn’t realise what your words insinuated even after you’d said them. But he noticed straight away, nodding his head eagerly.

“I hope so…I’m Jaemin.”

 The Pregnancy:

Your relationship with Jaemin had been going strong for the past 7 years. In that time, you’d both finished your education and secured jobs that were not only financially stable, but also gave you good amounts of time to be together, unlike the jobs you both held back when you first met and started dating. On your five-year anniversary, Jaemin had popped the question to you and within a year you were named Mrs Na.  You also both agreed to move out of your cosy – Jaemin would call it cramped, but you preferred cosy – apartment, and move into one with more room for your family to grow. It started off with the two of you getting a hamster, which Jaemin wanted to name Megatron Fire Blaze, but you shot that idea down with a death stare and the hamster ended up being named Tony.

A few months after your seven-year anniversary you’d dropped the pregnancy bomb onto Jaemin. He was thrilled and wasn’t too proud to admit he bawled his eyes out like teenage girl watching a sad movie about a tragic love story. Your pregnancy was going smoothly apart from the tiny feet that would aggressively kick your insides every now and then. You were also certain your baby was learning to tap dance and using your bladder as its dance floor, also, the uncomfortable and inconvenient need to pee was starting to drive you insane.

“What do you think of the name Sooyoung for if it’s a girl?” Jaemin asked, neither of you facing each other as you laid with your back pressed to his chest in the bed. The turned down sound of a movie neither of you were paying attention to on the television acted as background noise as you both focussed more on your conversation. Despite both of you having your eyes trained onto the movie, neither of you could tell someone what was going on with the storyline if asked.

“Hmm…no I’m not feeling it.” You sighed in annoyance, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands. “Our baby is never going to have a name at this rate, I just don’t like any names anyone is suggesting!” Jaemin remained silent for a moment, not being able to see much of your face from the angle he was laying at.

“You’re not going to cry are you…?” He was still learning to deal with the crazy ways your hormones would affect your moods. It still baffled him how one second you could be laughing at a funny post you’d seen on twitter and then the next you were crying about how you couldn’t reach the remote for the tv without getting up from the comfort of the sofa. He would often think back to the time Jeno commented on how your hair looked really full and colourful during your pregnancy and instead of taking it as a compliment you’d started crying in Jaemin’s arms, stating how horrible your hair must look normally and how you were just going to shave it off. Jeno had paled and immediately tried to backtrack on his words. The poor boy feeling the wrath of your pregnancy hormones. He tried not to laugh at the memory when you were around, just in case you asked him why he was laughing.

“No…” You bottom lip wobbled as you tried to hold it together, willing the tears to go away.

“What about…Joohyun? Seulgi?” You elbowed Jaemin in the ribs gently, causing him to groan as you turned to face him with your eyebrows pulling into a scowl.

“Now you’re just naming the members of Red Velvet!” He looked like a deer caught in the headlights as you caught onto his idea.

“Sorry!” He paused as he racked his brains, his lips pouting as his thoughts ran wild. “I like Mihyun.”

“Mihyun…” The name rolled off your tongue nicely as you repeated it again and again before concluding. “I love it, if our baby is a girl its Mihyun.” You smiled warmly, snuggling into Jaemin’s hold as much as you could with your big bump in the way. You both remained quiet for a while before Jaemin piped up.

“If it’s a boy, he shall be named Optimus Prime.”

“We are not naming our baby after a transformer!!!”

 The Divorce:

Na Mihyun was born on the 3rd of August. You and Jaemin had never felt more overjoyed and filled with love as what you did when you held the tiny infant in your arms for the first time. The second Jaemin heard the shrill cries of his daughter, the tears he couldn’t keep in rolled down his cheeks from pent up emotions popping like an overfilled balloon. Neither one of you could wait to take home the little life that was a symbol of your love for one another. However, things started to go sour within weeks.

The first argument was caused from Jaemin going out late with a few of his work friends. It didn’t bother you that he was going out and having fun, what bothered you was the text he sent you at 11pm that read ‘Will be another hour, don’t wait up’ after he’d promised you he’d be in before 11. It sent a spark of irritation amongst your body, but you tried to ignore it, knowing he had every right to go out and have some fun after being cooped up at home for the past few months with you. The hour passed and there was still no sign of Jaemin. After another half an hour you decided to call him, but he didn’t answer. Anxiety acted like a flood around you as the thought of him being hurt raided your mind, and the stress of being a new mother on your own and losing your husband began to make you sink in the pool on anxiety. You drowned in the feeling and it brought on a panic attack. You thanked god that Mihyun hadn’t woken up during that time, not knowing if you could have coped. He stumbled into the apartment at 4am, waking up your new-born and the anger pent up inside you. You gave him the silent treatment for a day before a big argument blew up, harsh words exchanged between you.

More arguments ensued throughout the next couple of months. Arguments over petty things, and you found that the two of you would argue for the sake of arguing at times. Leading to Jaemin spending most nights sleeping on the sofa, a hostile air between the two of you. You were miserable. And you didn’t want to feel like that when you should be enjoying your baby girl’s life. You didn’t want Jaemin feeling that way either. With the headspace you were in, you didn’t think there was any other options other than to go your separate ways.

“Jaemin, I need to talk to you.” You’d cornered him in the kitchen where you’d just come from your bedroom after putting Mihyun down for her afternoon nap.

“About what?” You longed for the days when his tone was soft, bringing comfort to you when you needed it the most. You’d already had a disagreement that morning, so his tone was unfriendly towards you. He turned to look at you from where he was making a sandwich on the kitchen counter, furrowing his eyebrows at your face as you silently cried. You heart breaking at the words you were about to drop on him.

“I can’t do this anymore…what happened to us? We hardly ever act like a loving couple anymore Jaemin and we can’t agree on anything anymore. I don’t want to fight every day; I just want a peaceful life with my daughter.” You gulped, starting to sob as you shook your head. His stomach sank, unease settling in the pit of his gut as he knew what you were about to say. “I want a divorce.”

“(Y/N) no…please we can work on this!” He abandoned his half-made sandwich, feeling numb and not knowing what to do other than to beg you to stay with him. “Baby don’t leave me.” He rushed to you, trying to take your hands in his own but you snatched them away, shaking your head and taking a step back.

“No…please just pack your things and go.”

“But I still love you…” He whispered, his voice cracking as a sob left his lips. You sighed, turning your back to him.

“Go.”

 Meeting Renjun:

Your divorce went through a lot quicker than you expected, and within a few months you were back to being a Miss. Life as a single mother was surprisingly easier than you thought, but that was probably because Mihyun was only just half a year old and had only just mastered the art of sitting up on her own. She had started to teeth also, which meant many sleepless nights for you, but you didn’t care because she was your only priority. You knew times would get tougher as she got older, but you couldn’t worry about it until it happened. After you and Jaemin separated, you both decided neither of you should keep the apartment, and you both moved into your own apartments. So even after living your new home for a month, you were still in the midst of decorating the place to your standards, loving that no one could tell you what you could and couldn’t put up on the walls. You did miss Jaemin, but you didn’t dwell on the feeling, knowing it wasn’t mentally healthy for you to live in the past when you had a whole fresh start ahead of you.

The apartment building you moved into was a new build, so all the apartments were slowly getting filled up with residents. All morning you could hear scuffling noises coming from the previously empty apartment next-door, so you assumed someone now occupied the living space. You went on with your day as you normally would, entertaining Mihyun as she tried to crawl around. In the end you put her in her walker, letting her cruise around the apartment to her own free will. You were engrossed in a silly tv programme that made little to no sense when a knock echoed through the halls.

“One Second!” You called out as you rose from the sofa, noting that Mihyun was fine in her walker. “You going to follow mumma?” You giggled when she grinned at you with her new front teeth, waddling after you in the confines of her walker. You smiled when you opened the door, met with an attractive man who looked to be around your own age. He had dark brown hair with matching brown eyes, his smile warm as he bowed to you.

“Hello! I just moved in next door, so I thought I’d come introduce myself.” He motioned his head towards his apartment as he spoke. “My name is Renjun.” He held his hand out to you and you quickly shook his hand with a smile. You detected an accent as he spoke Korean but couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was.

“I’m (Y/N), its nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, is it just you living here?” You noticed his glance at your hand, missing the slight raise of his eyebrows when he saw no wedding ring on your finger.

“No actually, I have this little terror living here too.” You opened the door wider to reveal your daughter, still sat in her walker and staring up at Renjun with wide curious eyes.

“Oh look at you!” He gasped, crouching down to her height and admiring the beauty of the baby. “What’s her name?”

“Mihyun.” You smiled in pride as you watched him coo over your child.

“Hi princess, aren’t you beautiful?” He chuckled when she pointed a hand at him and starting to giggle at him.

“She already likes you.” You folded your arms across your chest and leaned against the doorframe.

“I’m glad I have her approval.” He looked up at you with a soft smile, standing back up to his full height. “Well if you need anything then you know where I live.” He nodded his head at you, his eyes lingering on your face. You blushed, bowing to him.

“Thank you, same to you too.” You said your goodbyes and he headed back to his apartment. “Did you like him my little pickle?” You plucked Mihyun out of her walker to hold her to your chest. “He was nice wasn’t he?”

 Marrying Renjun:

A month after you’d met Renjun for the first time, he’d asked you out on a date. You hadn’t told Jaemin when he’d come to pick up Mihyun for the night, not wanting him to get upset about you moving on so quickly. At first you were hesitant whether to go on a date at all, but you didn’t want to let the opportunity of dating someone as lovely and kind as Renjun pass up. So, you took the plunge, went on a date with Renjun, and had an amazing night that you’d never forget. When Renjun proposed to you on your one-year anniversary, you took a week to give him your answer. Hesitant at first about marriage purely for the purpose that you’d already been married once and that hadn’t worked out. But after some deep thought and a long conversation with Jaemin about what went wrong in your marriage to him, you said yes. 10 months later you walked down the aisle and married Renjun, labelling him as the love of your life in your wedding vows. You didn’t know this, but Jaemin winced when he heard you say that. He went to your wedding despite the ache it caused in his heart, only going to show his support to you and not wanting gossip going around about his absence if he didn’t go.

You also moved apartments again. Renjun and you both moving into another apartment that was slightly bigger with the hopes of expanding your family at some point. Although you didn’t like that someone else now had a say in what you decorated the apartment with. Mihyun loved having Renjun living with you, him spoiling her with everything she wanted as soon as she told him her wanted it. He was good at acting like a father, but he knew he’d never take her own fathers place, which he didn’t want to do. But he loved her like she was his own flesh and blood, and he’d do anything for her. You hoped that this marriage was the start to your dream life, but you treasured everything you had with Jaemin. The highs and lows taught you things and gave you an experience that you’d never forget.