#just. the horrific way men treat women. god

[criticalrolo]

ever have the kind of day where it’s just. The Crushing Weight Of Sexism and the Horrors of Moving Through The World as a Woman are really getting to you

[visenyaism]

hello hello . seeing as ur the adwd scholar around here. what exactly is the connection between the varamyr prologue and theon describing the dead girls + women that were hunted by ramsay as coming back as the dogs. is there even a connection. i apologise but thank u for reading this if u do <3

hell yeah there is! at least to me. So both of those are elements of what I would consider to be the central theme of a dance with dragons: the idea that the distinction between what is Right and what is Abomination is not a hard binary, but a gently sloping path that pulls you in. The boundary between the correct and the abject has dissolved because of everything that has happened in the series. (the spiral-shaped tragedy!!! the narrative bringing you around exactly back where you started and the only thing that is different is that YOU are worse!!) It’s almost winter. the world is not alive and not dead yet, but some grey clinging-on stage.

the book’s treatment of cannibalism is a big example of this: when we look at it on the outside, it’s this extreme abject societal taboo, it’s a line we do NOT cross. but for the characters in the narrative, it’s not. It’s just the thousandth moral concession that they’ve had to make to justify their own survival. The horror is in looking up and realizing that not only are you doing things that you would have sworn off as abominable, but that there was never a line to cross at all for you: it always felt justifiable. The boundary between the abject and the just is completely dissolved by circumstance.

Likewise, the boundary between what is a person and what is an animal in adwd is also just gone. We see a little bit of that with the cannibalism theme and Euron last book declaring that “men are meat.” At the start of his arc, Reek is somewhere in between a human and an animal, made that way through extreme dehumanization and violence. So I think the thing with Ramsay naming his dogs after the woman he killed is that it’s an example of the extent to which he dehumanized them. They were always just sport for him, and now they have to be sport forever because all that’s left of them after he has ripped them apart mind and body is that act of carnage. Even after they are gone, they are not at peace because through naming his gods after them Ramsay owns them forever.

I think the parallel with Varamyr is that he contextualizes his skinchanging as an act of domination, obliterating an animal’s mind in order to own its body. Which is why it is so extremely horrific when he tries to skinchange into a person. we find out he was already treating women like that, using his animals as a violent threat in order to assault them, because the important part to understand is that his violent dehumanization is not the crossing of any kind of threshold but just an extension of who he already was. Like Ramsay and his dogs, it’s a horror story about how there is no boundary between man and meat for him anymore.

TLDR: the entirety of a dance with dragons is about the collapse of the distinction between human and thing at the end of the world, which is what both of those orbit around.

[absolutelyinlove]

just really fascinating how hannah is never allowed to team with the people she asks for and she gets asked to sit out events more often than men who avg top 10 to make it “easier to balance the teams” but she’s only played in 4 events (3 canon) and has an avg placement of 15th. really fascinating how whenever scott has a player he needs to “nerf” he uses low-ranking women and afab participants as fodder instead of putting them on teams where they’ll actually get a chance to improve and feel like they stand a chance. Really fascinating how when there’s a woman or afab participant who is too consistently good at the game to be used as a “nerf” teammate suddenly she’s just way too hard to balance so she’s left on the waitlist for 2 years and then even after getting into the event she can’t be expected to play every event she signs up for. surely it’s all just a coincidence! really really fascinating how hannah has spoken multiple times about how horrifically she’s treated by the mcc community just for. being a woman who is competitive and dares to care about her individual performance and tina openly talked about how demotivating it felt to be put on 10th-place-expected teams every time she signed up instead of ever having a chance to improve. and how the community REFUSED to hold jojo to the same standards as equally-well-performing men and demanded she prove herself a million times over before being allowed to be put in the same category as her male peers. but the people in charge who have the power to fix all of this see no issue with the way teams are constructed whatsoever. surely there’s no pattern!

a “for fun event” but one single participant has full control over who is and isn’t allowed to play and who is and isn’t allowed to be with the people they request to team with and instead of focusing on creating evenly matched teams the priority is ensuring no one wins TOO much. because god forbid the event be predictable. if only that was already possible because (most of) the games are already designed to prioritize a variety of different skills and therefore theoretically any given team could always win/lose. if only that was the entire point of a competitive tournament. if only someone involved would point out what an unnecessary waste of energy and cause for needless discourse and toxicity it is to make “team balancing” your end-all-be-all priority so that any and all criticism would stop being brushed off as “people complaining on twitter”. but i guess we’re just supposed to pretend all of this is necessary to keep the event “fun”. right

[sh1-n0bu]

Ayo heard you want horny brainrots well I (🦝) have been summoned.

I don't know what your preferences are. Men, women, both, neither but personally I would fuck just about anything that is off age and willing so that being said

I absolutely adore Beidou. She is so fucking hot. She's powerful, strong willed, breathtakingly gorgeous and overall just step on me, captain I am actually begging. On top of that, she wields a claymore, the back amd shoulder muscle she must have? On God?? Yes, MA'AM.

Realistically she probably has a bunch of scars and a sun tan and overall I think Beidou might be the hottest woman in all of Genshin. Genshin has many hot women but no one surpasses her. My queen. My goddess. My love. My main since day ONE. (that's a lie but she was in fact the forst character I pulled)

Alright I'm going to take my brain and wring it out like a wet towel to give you some more asks. Cya in the next one

✿ 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 ♡︎

characters: beidou x gn! reader

warnings: fluff, angst, there will be nsfw but it’s not as wild as my other posts, both reader and beidou are switch, cute domestic shits, kazuha being y’alls adopted son (kinda)

notes: 🦝anon, my beloved, i have already made it clear that i’m a raging bisexual so yes, women♥️. women, men, sexy human look alike puppets with god and inferiority complex, idc gimme them all! went with head cannons format with this one i hope you don’t mind. also i’m so sorry my beloved 🦝 anon, i took so long to answer😭😭

aahhh yes beidou

i’m pretty sure everyone took one look at her and went “i’m sat”

and yes 🦝 anon she would have the muscles, sun tan i mean come on she stays out in the sea for as long as she wants, scars and damn did i mention muscles whew it’s getting hot in here

absolutely would spoil tf out of you

jewels, foods, all kinds of trinkets from the places she’s been to before

and if you were to talk it out with her and won’t get seasick easily, she won’t hesitate to ask you to come with her on her ship alongside the crux

after basically adopting kazuha, you two would almost become his pseudo parents in a sense

beidou is the fun carefree mom while you are the parent that frets over him as if he’s a baby

and everytime she sees you scolding kazuha over the smallest of things such as scratching his pretty face she won’t hesitate to tease you in all kinds of ways

general nicknames would be “darling” “your highness”(teasingly) “my treasure”

“[NAME]! MY TREASURE! GUESS WHO CLAPPED THE BIG NOBUSHI GUYS’ ASSES BAREHANDED!”

“OH MY ARCHONS BEIDOU YOU’RE BLEEDING!!!”

if you were to ever kiss her scars or wounds while treating her she would just melt

“ahaha… oh darling, what did i ever do to deserve you?”

due to her past of being hated by the village she was taken in, sometimes beidou would have a very horrific and detailed nightmares or thoughts of you leaving her because she is ‘cursed’

would hate to burden you but will gently stir you awake to ask for cuddles and kisses

“i-i’m sorry, treasure. i-i just… please? hold me?”

please don’t degrade her even as a joke

since you’re someone so dear to her heart, even if she were to laugh it off as a joke on the outside, she would be thinking all sorts of bad thoughts on the inside

i feel like she would give the best hugs and piggyback rides

if you’re both walking around and you’re getting tired or wounded, she won’t hesitate to squat down in front you or carry you bridal style

is so so incredibly gentle with you

she knows she’s strong, she knows she’s powerful i mean she struck down haishan, the leviathan while visionless

and due to that knowledge she’s afraid she might accidentally hurt you in some way, even when she knows you’re not some fragile doll

i can’t really see her being a sub honestly

i feel like she would be either a switch or a soft dom

is into face-sitting and i cannot stress this enough

whether it’s you sitting on her face with your juices gushing and squelching, your legs trembling to hold yourself up she won’t stop until she’s satisfied

“shh it’s okay darlin’ you’re doing sooo good. come on sit on my face, i wouldn’t mind and you know that”

or her sitting on your face as she grinds her slicky pussy into your mouth while moaning and calling you a good girl/boy as she grips your hair

it doesn’t matter which one it is, she’ll take it

will overstimulate you but in the gentlest way you get what i’m saying?

“aww there there. come on you can cum again. you can cum again right darlin’? yes you can treasure. come on cum for me. you can do it”

or it’s you absolutely worshipping every inch of her body

“haaangg~ oh yes, that’s it. keep mmggff! keep going. ah yeah, you’re making me feel so good treasure~”

sex with her would generally be very soft, slow and filled with praises

aftercare would be you two cuddling together after cleaning each other up and just talking of small topics like today’s weather, the next destination, which destination to go to next etc etc

just,,,, beidou🥹🫶

[solarmagickstar]

Not super into Jessie Gender, but I watched their video on "how we talk about trans men" and I've gotta say it was disappointing asf.

As a trans masc/guy I feel like I can't really have an opinion? Like for me it's like I'm too scared to be angry, like if I am it's just gonna be thrown back at me like "oh it must be those testosterone hormones coming out" or "well of course your all angry your a man" like men can't be sensitive at all or something? It's almost always said in a way to "give me euphoria" cause that's how we're supposed to treat men.

At times it really feels like we're being pushed out of queer spaces because we'll if your a guy you wouldn't wanna be a part of the marginalised group ya know cause "we're escaping to get to privilege" right?

I don't feel like our experience with gender is allowed to be expressed openly and we're absolutely not allowed to be GNC. And honestly the same could probably be said for GNC trans fems too, I don't see a lot of them either.

I feel like in Jessie gender's video they kinda didn't *actually* wanna sit with what they said originally? Like when it came to the Barbie movie I wanted to participate in the conversation of girl hood and how that's still relevant to me and how it's shaped me as the person I am today, how much I enjoyed the Ken dolls experience and how they played with masculine fashion in a way I hadn't seen in a while. But honestly I felt like well this movies for the girls so I probably shouldn't say anything.

Sometimes I wonder if we partially do this to ourselves because a lot of us keep to ourselves and don't really wanna be seen half the time. I haven't talked to the trans masc I knew since we all left Facebook, it's so lonely out here and the more I look for trans content the more I see trans fems and basically only white trans masc (with like maybe 2 poc ones but is that really all we get?) It makes me feel like I don't exist. The only places I can see poc trans masc viking or existing is on sites run by a variety of trans people or is run by a trans masc person living free.

When I see that I think, thank god your fucking real. Thank god I see someone like me thriving and existing out there.

I wanna see more of y'all, like actually see y'all, I feel like I'm fading away as more and more content keeps talking about how bad trans fems (oh and non binary but let's not define what you mean or who you're talking about we just throw them in there cause let's be more inclusive right? But only to you? Great) but the amount of trauma that's in the trans masc community is horrific and is not talked about or addressed at all.

In men's spaces there's not room for queer most of the time, so to find a place to belong and essentially get told my issues aren't as important or that trans fems ("and nonbinary" cause again you're lying to yourself by saying this even if your non-binary) then you're fundamentally missing out on our lives. I don't even feel like we have enough data on us because even the trans masc get lumped in with nonbinary or GNC like that's just fucking normal.

I remember a study was out on trans masc and GNC women about how often all of us deal with sexual assault and it's the closest I've seen and it wasn't even good findings it was depressing. I wish I could find it again. But again that study put us with GNC (pretty sure it was cis) women!

Please not this is coming from someone who's been SA'd pre and post coming out as trans. Did you know some people see us as a way to see if they're gay or bi? Like experiment on us, get us drunk and tell us we should just take it because "well you're supposed to be a man right?" We can't even get to these conversations yet and I'm worried we never will.

Do we even exist? Are we allowed to voice our opinions? Are we allowed to be mad? Are we allowed to be upset with our community? Can we do our own studies? Should we be more visible? I'm scared to, I don't wanna show my face I'm a very private person, but do I need to address that? Is that a bad thing? Is it perpetuated by my environment?

I don't know and honestly I just wanna see more variety of trans masc people, I'm scared we're just gonna stay under the radar and continue to deal with the bullshit we always have.

Ps. Jessie gender 100% did the I have a trans masc friend, no matter how much they said "I'm not doing that" they literally were doing it and there was almost no self reflection on that at all. This wasn't really the video I think they thought it was cause all it did was tell me they don't talk to us very often and that at this point I've just seen heart reacts to comments on their video's comments and not any actual responses to what anyone's said on there. It'll be a process I get it but this video was not good at all and I feel like any trans masc who's getting excited about being seen by a bigish YouTuber is like me desperate for anything validation cause that's kinda how starved we are out here tbh.

[shesnake]

just saw s2, & totally agree w u that the show doesn't know it but it's really abt white women being the devil. i like how it challenged fate/George's love for sarah coming out as an entitlement to her, but at the same time, i wonder what it's trying to say about who is right & who is selfish. like if we'd & sarah are supposed to be right, then what does that mean for everyone else? obvs the ending of s2 leaves a lot of potential answers to that, but i worry that maybe the apolitical and/or colourblind approach to the use of time travel by some european imperial org, like u said it's an extension of colonial supremacy. but with the framing of wes & sarah (even greta?) as the correct white women worries me a bit, how do u feel on this front? also: so sad there wasn't more homoerotic shiv & george situations :((((

god yes!!! what george did to young bryson is of course horrible but what's crazy about it to me is that he will never come back from that in wes/sarah's eyes and it will always be used against him to shut him out in the same way shiv is shut out for being "too dedicated" in the way that archie is only ever trusted enough to follow orders but never make any real decisions (it's so crazy when you think about the chain of recruitment where archie is shiv's protegee and then george in turn becomes archie's basically.. they all sponsor each other. then wes funnily enough breaks the chain with george letting sarah in)... they are treated as irrational and never allowed to go further up the ladder and Know Who They're Working For meanwhile wes and eventually sarah are ice cold and just as if not more horrific in scale. wes has her partner (husband?) assassinated and watches her son be tortured/beaten, both of whom are black men of course, and does nothing. she won't look at janet's baby before wiping him from existence, and orders the death of her daughter later on. over all the different loops of operation midnight she only ever puts ross, eric, and greta in charge, which is odd considering shiv is so loyal and competent. wes is the only character that's closest to a villain.

joe barton is a white guy and I feel it is likely that this is written "colourblind" and the racialised subtext is most probably unintentional. which I don't mind tbh because just as a poc watching this I'm not going to ignore how interestingly it turned out regardless of intent. I made that post about tlp and colonial supremacy back when s1 came out and it looked like it was going to be them (the west) vs the chinese government I'm soo glad they shifted angle off that and went internal

[evilwickedme]

Hi there I would like to say I’m interested in the deadpool homophobia rant

hi there! many thanks to you

so the "deadpool homophobia rant" is... a little complicated. I'll try to keep it short because God knows I talk about Wade too much as it is on this hellsite. the point, before we go into literally any detail, is that the writing surrounding deadpool's sexuality is deeply problematic, both in its representation and its consequences in-narrative to him as a person, but I'll try to just focus on the facts.

we all know that deadpool is omni/pan, right? wrong. well, not wrong. just not... quite as solidly canon as we'd like. this is the only reference the actual word gets in canon:

this is from the posehn & duggan 2012 run (my beloved), although don't ask me to hunt down the specific issue, please, that sounds like a nightmare. suffice it to say that it's from the letter section at the end of one of the issues and that it's the only time I can find the actual word referenced anywhere with regards to our boy. you may remember that it was confirmed at some point - yeah, in a since deleted tweet. despite being attracted to anything from aliens to death herself, wade is not allowed to go past plausible deniability when it comes to heterosexuality.

that doesn't mean that wade doesn't express attraction to men, because he does, and often.

(from deadpool team up #887)

(from an early issue of spider-man/deadpool. 2, I think. maybe 3)

(from the daniel way 2008 run, again, don't make me dig up an issue please, but it's the one where he teams up with spider-man to defeat hit-monkey)

(there's also a few panels floating around online where he expresses attraction to cable but I don't have those saved on my laptop. I remember seeing one where wade fantasizes about rubbing sun screen on cable's back? but again, do not have those saved.)

anyway, the point is, wade absolutely gets to express attraction to men, and constantly. but only at his own expense. only when the joke will land. only when he gets to immediately say "no homo". only because he's already quirky and weird and insane, so of course he's also attracted to men, he's not all there, after all.

I'll try not to let this cross over to a connected but wholly separate rant about the ableism in his writing, but it's all connected, at the end of the day.

and it would be one thing if deadpool wasn't a relationship guy. but, although he's absolutely terrible at it, deadpool makes stab after stab at monogamy - always with women. he's a sleezeball, really. constantly asking women out, super and non-super, whether they're in any way interested or not. posehn & duggan pull back from this a little, and instead have him get married to shiklah, in a special issue dedicated to "every time deadpool has gotten married" (or at least thought he did). they got a bunch of previous deadpool writers and artists to contribue to the issue. somehow every single marriage was to a woman, even if she was literally an alien. bc deadpool's attraction to a woman is a tragedy, but at least it's a story; wade's attraction to a man is a joke. his one "relationship" with a man is with madcap, who abuses him from inside his head. they call it "falling in love":

(from deadpool annual #1, from uh... 2013? 2014?)

... but madcap's nothing but horrifically abusive towards wade when they're "together" (as in fused together with madcap playing the role of "white box") and the first arc in the 2015 duggan run is madcap deliberately fucking up deadpool's life because he won't take him back. not exactly a positive canon relationship. shiklah treats wade better.

deadpool also likes to dress in a typical feminine or gay coded fashion, and it's constantly questioned or made fun of by the people around him:

(from the deadpool musical issue)

(I actually had to google this one, I don't know where it's from for sure but it's pre-2012 (cause... boxes) and I'm pretty sure it's from cable & deadpool. no idea beyond that what issue or anything)

we see a constant, then, of deadpool expressing attraction to men and his gnc presentation, and yet the narrative never respects him for it. it plays it for laughs, plays the plausible deniability card, and despite wade himself seemingly being comfortable with his sexuality it is never presented as a good thing or even a neutral thing. deadpool's sexuality shines through despite what seems to be the writers actively fighting against it. and it doesn't have to be this way. nobody made them write him as pan in the first place, although, yes, I'd be sad if he wasn't, and more importantly, nobody made anyone write his pansexuality like this. it's in the movies too, to a lesser extent. it's frustrating and exhausting and it's deeply homophobic.

I love wade. he deserves better.

[magnoliamyrrh]

if liberal western feminists spend even half as much time talking about the patriarchy and misogyny as they do endlessly whining and complaining about evil bitch women with their evil bitch feminism and """misandry""" and mens poor hurt feelings, we might actually get somewhere lmao

wake the hell up. snap out of your female socialization which has taught you to always put everyone and particularly men above yourself. we are an opressed group. i don't think ya'll actually understand and fully process that. we are an opressed group. the male dominant class has been responsable for the instatement of the patriarchy for thousands of years. in many places, globally. thousands. the patriatchy isnt this abstact thing which "benefits noone" and "harms everyone equally" it is systemic opression which benefits the male class much more than it harms them, which is why it still exists.

it is responsible for our enslavement. our psychological and physical and sexual and otherwise enslavement. generations upon generations of women before us whove lived their lives as little more than slaves to men, serving them, giving their lives up for men. the patriarchy benefits noone? you think the male elite getting free household labour, free emotional labour, getting to take advantage of the woman's ability to birth - force women in so many parts of the world into marriages and child marriage - raping girl-brides to death and forcing women and girls to give birth until they die - and then having the balls to create patrilinial lines and lay claim to children and kill female infants, benefits no one? you think males declaring themselves supreme over us and treating us worse than their farm animals benefits no one?

they are responsible for the vast majority of rapes, of pedophilic crimes, of wars, of serial killers, of domestic abuse. they regularly rape children, like, globally, and the male created system barely keeps them responsable if it doesnt outright allow it. they are responsible for your ancestors and your own torment. sex trafficking is worse than ever now. there is an international sex slave trade which is worth billions upon billions every year. this is the fault of men, and most of them dont give a single shit. they have globally, through their patriarchy, lead to the physical torture of women and girls to brand them as lesser - foot binding in china, female genital mutialation which originated in egypt and spread. being just two well known and absolutely horrific ones.

they have turned us into property. they have taken our humanity. we barely gained basic fucking rights in most of the world barely generations ago. they have treated us as their slaves. they have treated us worse than animals.

when a male rapes it is not an individual act. rape is a weapon of the male elite to keep us all in line. as is domestic abuse. as are a whole lot of other things. wake up.

snap out of it. stop coddling your opressors. this is the "not all white people" of feminism. stop it. it doesnt fucking matter, mens hurt feelings arent a damn priority. women are the only opressed class which coddles our opressors this much, its fucking insane and pathetic frankly. we have severe god damn issues on this planet that are affecting half of the damn population. the only way were getting out of this is with each other. stop defending them with more vigor than they ever defend you, and start defending your sisters. snap out of it.

[all-seeing-ifer]

Wait I really like ats s5 it has some banger episodes, why don’t you like it?

oh man. season 5.

so, in theory, there's a lot about season 5 that I should like. I think it reinvents the show in an interesting way and I love the themes of never stopping fighting even in the face of the knowledge that the good guys are never going to truly win and that the deck is always going to be stacked against them. the fucking dialogue between gunn and anne in the finale? "I'd get this truck packed before the new stuff gets here"? holy SHIT it is so good!!!

I totally get why people like season 5 I do think it genuinely has a lot going for it BUT you DID ask so I will now be presenting Isabel's List of Varyingly Serious/Petty Beefs With Angel Season Five. In No Particular Order:

Spike's a good addition to the show and god knows angel season 5 does more interesting stuff with him than buffy season 7 ever did but it is fucking insane to me how much focus and development he gets while gunn fred and lorne, who have been mainstays of the show since like season 2, continue to get absolute jack shit to do

just generally let's be honest. anyone who isn't a white guy this season is fucked. harmony gets no development despite being granted main cast status illyria gets nothing to do despite being set up as a super duper important addition to the cast I don't even know what they were fucking thinking with eve. etc.

THEY FRIDGED CORDY AND FRED WITHIN THREE EPISODES OF EACH OTHER. AND AT NO POINT DID ANYONE IN THE WRITERS' ROOM THINK THAT MAYBE THE FACT THAT THEY WERE WERE STARTING TO RUN OUT OF WOMEN WAS PERHAPS A PROBLEM

speaking of cordy my best girl of all time, I know people love you're welcome but i'm sorry i remain deeply ambivalent about that fucking thing. like yes it's nice that the cordy we know and love gets to come back for one last hurrah but also the episode basically never treats her like a person with feelings of her own and instead she's just there to motivate angel and then die so he can be sad about it. i can't believe it only took 40 minutes to set feminism back 4000 years

also sorry but did they really think you're welcome was going to be enough to make up for what they did to her in season 4? have you seen season 4? one episode where cordy looks hot and has her tits out and swordfights will NOT undo the damage that has been done

and then they proceed to set feminism back even further by just refusing to acknowledge the existence of their show's secondary protagonist for the basically the rest of the season and also fridging fred in an arguably even more horrific way three episodes later so wesley can be sad and so they can introduce a new character who does nothing

like seriously nothing makes me more rabid in season 5 than the scene in power play where the characters all vote on if they're gonna go through with their suicide mission against the circle of the black thorn and it's just all the men voting on it bc illyria's been incapictated bc I guess in angel season 5 women don't get to have agency even when they're literal godlike demon lords

on the subject of the illyria plotline i fucking hate how gunn gets treated. like sorry all the men on this show (sans lorne. unproblematic king) have done awful shit why does gunn get singled out as having done something uniquely horrible just for a shady business deal he couldn't possibly have known the consequences of. like we know why but still

and on the subject of gunn.... the fact that they wrote a storyline implying that the only way for the only black main character in the show to become smart and capable is for him to have his brain magically altered and NO ONE in the writers room was like HM MAYBE THIS IS A BAD LOOK ACTUALLY. christ i would feel way better about the whole "gunn feels like he's just the muscle" conflict if the show more consistently came down on the side that players does where gunn does actually have way more to offer than being the muscle but has just come to see himself as just The Guy Who Fights. but unfortunately they spend at least as much time writing gunn as Actually Just The Muscle. usually to make wesley look better (i promise i'm not bitter about it)

and perhaps i'd be less annoyed about all this if gunn also got literally anything else to do this season but this is truly all he gets until not fade away

which i guess is still better than fred? like fred just dies. that's it

guys i don't think we shit on the girl in question enough. like it's bad. it's really bad. i'm so glad we're currently in the shit talking lies my parents told me renaissance but can we also start bringing that same energy for this piece of shit

nina's an art student so i hate her by default (<- guy who went to art school <- i am allowed to say this)

despite spike being intended to serve as a replacement for cordy they just straight up don't give him relationships with any of the characters other than angel (and fred for like. one episode) and it results in him just feeling incredibly out of place

just in general actually it feels like the writers kind of stopped caring about any of the character relationships aside from angel and spike and fred/wesley (which they only care about bc it's a reason for wesley to be sad anyway)

the pacing is a nightmare and i do not give a shit about the circle of the black thorn. sorry

and just as a disclaimer i would like to acknowledge that like. ats was always fairly shitty about race and gender this isn't unique to s5 but MAN does it feel like season 5 in particular is just. saying the quiet part out loud constantly every episode

anyway thank you for giving me free rein to just bitch about angel season 5 for an extended period of time this was fun. still i'm honestly glad that you enjoy it like really truly I wish that were me

[catboyclarity]

top five tropes/themes that people keep fucking up when they try to write about them

5. Women who are evil. I really just want a Hannibal or a Griffith that is a woman but most of the time people can only do “lolllll girlboss! She’s evil silly!” or “this evil slut/mommy needs to be humiliated” or “this poor, sad misguided woman is misguided” or all three at once. I need her to have agency and I need her horrible actions to be treated with the appropriate narrative weight* and I need her to be centered the way evil men archetypes are and treated with respect and no redemption arc Please.

4. Love triangles. Nobody understands what can be good about them. I, an aromantic, am the only one who understands bc I can see that a good one is about choosing who you want to be in the future and not which boy is more is more kissable. Please. Please.

3. Monsterfucking/romance. If you are filleting all of the danger out of the monster and now your monster boyfriend is just a nice guy with fangs I feel you have fundamentally misunderstood the assignment**

2. PTSD. Stop fucking giving it to characters just so you can use flashbacks for narrative exposition and then the character is completely fine after despite having an extremely intense flashback, also did you know you can have characters with PTSD without doing a Teachable Moment about PTSD?

1. Abuse. The whole thing. You are all so fucking stupid god bless.

*this is because the horrific and the grotesque is what draws me to that sort of character. If it’s like Ohhh but is all ok no big deal I don’t get my fix

**see above footnote about the horrific and the grotesque

[missfingers]

ok i don't know much about yakuza but i gotta know for the choose violence ask game: 3, 8, 11, 16, 22, 24? (you can also do these about another fandom instead if you want, i just chose yakuza bc those are ur little guys)

HI AUSTIIINNN. forgive me this will get long

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

ohh my god theres been so many. but okay i will specifically pull up an example from the server i run. no screenshots cause the conversation was way too long but essentially yakuza has a massive misogyny problem with its female characters (of which there are. barely any). the conversation was specifically about the hostess mechanic, which is this minigame that appears in almost every game where you go to a hostess club and have a date there (a hostess club if ur unaware is basically softcore sex work its paying a woman to talk to you at a club). ofc nothing wrong with hostessing but people were specifically talking about how it was Kind Of Creepy that all the protags are like.... 40+ and all the hostesses / other female love interests are a lot younger.

and then this guy came in saying something along the lines of... if you criticise the way hostesses are objectified in yakuza then actually you hate women and sex workers and youre saying its not a real career .....? NO ONE WAS SAYING THAT. it was really one of those situations where the person was acting like these fictional female characters have their own agency to do sex work and flirt with older men ignoring completely the Old Men Writing The Series. they are not real people making their own decisions these are women written by men. it was bizarre. this guy also eventually said that if you criticise panty shots in anime youre racist or something because "japanese culture is like that" okay.

already answered 8 here! <3

just realised i completely got switched up on numbers and i already answered 11 and thought it was 10, so my answer for 11 is here but i will also answer 10 for @kasugas since i fucking. didnt.

10. worst part of fanon

majima woobification. and the worst part is its in the games now too like they straight up woobified him in kiwami and i cant STAND IITTTT. hes literally a yakuza boss he violently beats up his men he canonically married an 18 year old and hit her when she aborted their fetus hes not a good guy and i love when canon shows that. but then fanon is just like solely fucking majima everywhere characterisation of ooo hes just a silly little faggot who loves kiryu and kiryu hates him <333 (even though kiryu. does not. and finds his antics hilarious in every other game. and treats him as his closest friend.) and also the uncle majima stuff....... i like thinking about his relationship with haruka as much as the next guy but when people just. slap them together with no consideration to the fact he KIDNAPPED HER. AT 10 YEARS OLD. like dude shes going to be traumatised you cant just Ignore that for the sake of giving her two dads?

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

oh i fucking know. i KNOW why they like it and the answer is theyre uncreative yaoi loving freaks but so much nishitani content is just him acting like some borderline rapey daddydom and its soooooo Eugh. they make majima into this uwu baby who doesnt want any of his advances until the relationship is literally liek something out of a fucking yaoi where he "really wants it deep down but hes going to act like he doesnt so its going to feel so uncomfortable and hes going to get borderline assaulted". the entire appeal of nishimaji to me is that nishitani is literally so down horrifically bad for majima and majima actually likes him back even if he thinks hes weird as shit. theyre both insane for each other.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ok im going to sound deranged here but his relationship with mirei. thats the 18 year old i mentioned. a lot of people choose to ignore he did that and like.... i get it its very uncomfortable to accept your favourite dude would prey on a kid like that but like. i feel like it does a disservice to his character to ignore that? it shows how he perpetuates the cycle of abuse and its so incredibly interesting to me but so many people just say "he wouldnt do that!!!!" when like.... yes he would. im sorry but he would.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

fuckig hell idk theres so much horrible yakuza discourse. ig its relevant rn but like whenever anyone genuinely critiques how fandom acts (misogyny, racism, woobifying a genuinely morally reprehensible character, ableism, just anything) and then the people who do this shit get all up in arms about it and act like its pointless infighting when its... genuine shit that makes a community unsafe

[teaveetamer]

The things about anyone who sides with Edelgard is fine actually (tm) interesting and I agree I remember seeing a Twitter post about what a bad character Monica was and the reply was "She actually has a lot of depth and plot relevance because she’s a lesbian. Hope that helps" That doesn't make her a better character? These are the same people who dislike the other simp characters right? They even said it's an insult to compare her to Faye. Why because it's Edelgard she simps for?

God “she’s a lesbian so she must be a good character” gives me the same vibes as “this story is deep because a girl got sexually assaulted” vibes (ETA: See the edit below for further explanation on this one). Like for some people that’s where the whole depth begins and ends. It’s mere existence within the narrative is somehow enough, no need to justify its existence with actually good writing or sensitive handling or meaningful integration into the narrative.

She is fundamentally exactly 0% different from the Faye archetype. Her simping for a girl over a guy does not make her somehow deeper than that. And why should it? Being a lesbian isn’t some deep or profound experience in itself. It’s literally basic biographical information about who you like to kiss/bang. The interesting parts are how it informs your world view and the person it makes you. Which, and I cannot stress this enough, is given exactly zero focus in Monica’s story. So no, it does not make her interesting or better than the other Fayes.

ETA, since it might be unclear why I'm making this comparison in the OP:

It’s the same principle to me: predominately straight, predominantly cisgendered, predominantly men co-opting the experiences of women/queer people under the false impression that it creates narrative depth, while refusing to understand or portray those narratives in a way that is meaningful or relatable to the people they presume to be representing.

I suppose I could have used something different, but SA was simply on my brain because I watch quite a lot of horror games (happy October!), and sexual assault is a very common theme in the genre. It’s frequently treated as a writing crutch, the “easy button” to portray a horrific experience (since naturally all decent people are horrified by it) but it doesn’t say anything. It’s there to create shock value rather than to be a meaningful exploration of women’s experiences with sexual violence or the culture that helps perpetuate it, and thus its use in story or in argument winds up coming off as cheap. The women who experience it in these games are often portrayed as if that is the ONLY thing about their experience that matters, and you are often given no further detail beyond their name (sometimes not even that) and the fact that they were assaulted. It’s incredibly uncomfortable and dehumanizing to hear the meta-message: “The important thing about this character is the fact that they’ve been assaulted. Nothing else, just that. When you are assaulted, there is nothing meaningful about you aside from your experience with assault and thus we feel no need to engage with your experience further.” Not to mention it can have very sexist undertones, but that can be a story for another post.

(Note that I am not saying all portrayal of SA in media is like this. But you can usually tell when a writer is attempting to approach a subject with sensitivity and grace and when a writer is leaning on it as an emergency writing crutch. I’m also not implying that only women experience SA, however in the horror genre this type of writing is disproportionately applied to female characters and is often very gendered).

Similarly, being queer is frequently treated as a meaningful character trait in itself with no need to explore further or engage meaningfully with the experiences of queer people. It can come off as tokenism and dehumanizing to be told the meta-message: “The important thing about this character is the fact that they’re queer. Nothing else, just that. When you are queer, there is nothing meaningful about you aside from who you love and/or who you bang and thus we feel no need to engage with your experience further.” I shouldn’t have to say this, but queer people are complete human beings with a depth of experience and being reduced down to our sexuality, by people who frequently do not look like us I might add, is certainly something. Heterosexual people are never treated as if their experience starts and ends with their sexuality, and I simply believe we deserve the same respect. And being queer should not be treated as a shield against character criticism. Being queer does not make you better or worse than anyone else.

[This part in response to someone claiming that the statement in question in the anon was a joke]

And I’m sorry, but I can’t know whether someone is joking when they say stuff like “being a lesbian gives you depth” on the internet. I don’t know if they’re gay, straight, man, woman, enby, cis, trans, or anything else. It’s not as if every person who says that kind of thing is joking. So I’m approaching it with a serious tone, because even if this particular person is joking and is the kind of person who understands the queer experience, this is still a mentality that is often found in media representation of queer folk and it does warrant discussion from that perspective.

[vtori73]

I'm so FUCKING tired of you all, I SWEAR to god like... how the fuck does it it make sense to say trans masc/men have privilege over trans women? HOW DOES ONE TRANS GROUP, BASING ONLY ON GENDER, MARGINALIZE ANOTHER??? TRANS men are TRANS... LOOK, look at me, repeat it with me please... TRANS! They don't HAVE privilege over fucking anyone UNLESS we start taking into account other identities they may hold which then, yes, ALL white trans people HAVE privilege... YES, ALL OF THEM!

Like... y'all need to stop falling for white trans people's bullshit, I've seen plenty of TRANS WOC point out that white trans women co-opt this narrative of being the most oppressed by using stats and info about violence against trans women to quiet ANY criticism of them & such when these stats and info are mostly what trans WOC face! (Yes, white trans women are still marginalized for being trans but AREN'T for being white).

Not to mention y'all seem to be okay with ignoring the issues trans men actually face in order to keep making a specific queer group into the boogyman/bad guy. Like, trans men have the highest rates of suicide, with trans woman & nonbinary individuals tied for second. Also, the fact that violence trans men face gets erased often, we know this happens with trans women so we shouldn't be surprised at ALL that this would happen to trans men especially considered trans men in general ARE often erased and treated as just tomboys or empowering women who broke gender roles!

Trans men face erasure, belittlement/ infantalization and fetishization, some of these aren't unique to just Trans Men BUT what is unique is how this sort of treatment is also hugely encouraged by other queer people to partake in and spread.

And what I find interesting about this is how this seems eerily similar to how bi women are treated by other queer people and while I'm not smart enough or knowledgeable enough to fully dissect this while doing it justice... what i WILL say is that this at least continues to prove that a lot of intercommunity bigotry is nothing but recycled talking points that get slapped onto the next acceptable target so these specific queers have an acceptable punching bag to take out their frustrations onto and not be seen as bad people for it! I mean, look at how Asexual people were treated (and still are, it's just not AS easy to find) a LOT of that rhetoric used against them ALSO sounded like old recycled biphobia.

Sorry, but I also think it's hilarious (in a haha wow y'all are not slick at all kind of way) that y'all just refuse to be critical and only decide to use intersectionality when it is convenient for y'all. I mean, some of y'all still refuse to acknowledge MOC are marginalized (yes, in general) even though we've just recently seen the horrific shit Palestinian men and boys have had to face and YET... we still have people continue to dehumanize them by refusing to acknowledge that they are victims too, only ever mentioning the women and children there and would rather continue to believe they are all evil, violent, rapists and oppressors even though that's just what white supremacy wants you to believe, and you do! Congrats.

I would feel sorry for you if I had a legit reason to but I don't, so I won't, lol! The only exception I will make is for kids who don't know any better BUT even then I'm not arguing with children, if you can't be mature and realize you may not have all the info or know all that you could about x queer topic & thus should be willing to hear queer adults out who HAVE done research, have experience, etc, then you aren't owed our time or patience. For ANY adults however... GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER and stop being henchpeople to the white allocisheteropatriarcy.

[yostresswritinggirl]

Alatus' Weakness

Even the strongest, mightiest men carry with them their ultimate weakness. And when it is under the wrong hands, their power won't be enough to prevent them from crumbling... What is it? What was it that the Evil God took hold of that forced him to serve his evil deeds for years?

Pairings -> Alatus x Reader (Xiao)

Word Count -> 1350

Themes -> You won't find happiness here.

Series -> #SojournerSpecials (600 Followers Event)

Warnings -> This is punishment for Xiao forcing me to whale for him. As well as the Oceanid anons. (EDIT: THIS HAS MADE PEOPLE CRY, PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

The Yaksha of the wind dances in fluid whirlwinds as the breeze makes its rounds over the plains, his lightness barely wrinkles the green grass underneath his uncovered feet as the robes he dons flutters behind him.

It was so beautiful, he looked so ethereal.

And when his spear finally settles in a sharp swing, the force manifests into harmless gusts that sweeps the pasture for a second before straightening up again. Alatus had always been an agile dancer. And everyone in the village knows of this.

He offers a slight bow and a smile upon your loud clapping, so giddy of the exclusive performance that you were lucky to witness. It was a treasure that every local wishes to see beyond the battles he fights. Men and women alike yet out of them all it was you who was graced with this blessing.

"Beautiful as always, Alatus!" Your wide smile was infectious and his grin grows the closer he comes to you, arms finding its way around your waist and across your back in a soft hug. The giddiness continues as you turned into a giggly mess from his special affection, reciprocating with a tackle of a hug.

"Did you miss me that much?" He was answered by wordless nuzzles to his chest, making him chuckle and pull you closer.

Alatus was a great and powerful spear dancer, and he had been protecting the village you two reside in ever since. Gods and beings trekked the world commonly and it was too dangerous even for stationary communities. More so for those who lack the Vision to fight in the first place.

He was one, if not the only one capable enough to protect everyone. And many times he would go beyond the parameter to exterminate threats before they became an issue. Most of the time he disappears for a while during this expedition and then return triumphant as the village people greet him and praise him for his hardwork.

But at the end of the day, he settles down in your quiet home where he engulfs you protectively in his arms. There you two would exchange your tales during the span of his expedition, and he would indulge you in a showcase of his dances as compensation for his absence. The highlight of your day.

"There seems to be higher activity in the surrounding territories regarding monsters and Gods," he introduces the topic as he picks up the nian gao with wooden chopsticks, munching the soft treat as you poured a cup of tea to match the snack. "The other villages are asking me to patrol their parameters for a few days to at least clear some of them."

"There's been disturbances around here too," you worriedly chewed at your own snack as you two sat by the veranda of your home, watching the whole of the village from your spot over the cliff. This must be one of the reasons he liked staying here too, an easy access and overseer to the whole area for his duties.

Alatus hums in agreement but continues eating. The way he chews his meal was a telltale sign that there's a worry gnawing at the back of his head. And you had the same worry, except much lighter than his.

The growing tension between the Gods of Teyvat spurs on more turmoil at the news of Celestia's sudden challenge over the archons. And with such offers and desperation, powerless humans and villages had been wiped recently courtesy of the war.

It was a matter that didn't really bother him nor the village, but somehow it came back to him tenfold in multitudes of worry. He has a gut feeling. But Alatus cannot make himself turn away from the pleas of the people that call his name for saving grace.

"Come home soon," your smile snapped him back to reality upon knowing that he wouldn't just leave the other villages behind.

Yet when he left, there was still a gnawing anxiety at the bottom of his stomach.

Alatus for once... had lost his grace for in his hand his spear shakes in unspeakable fear. In front of him beyond the cliff's edge is the blazing ruins of a village he protected for years, day and night diligently. Monsters and men ravaged what's left and he tries to push away the guilt of ignoring them when he rushed immediately to his home.

To where his home should be.

"Alatus," the towering figure turned around to face him and his pupils dilated at the image, muscles flexing to dash when its hand raises in a motion to stop him, tutting mockingly at the warning. "Ah, ah, you wouldn't want them to die like this, would you?"

The being of pure evil had your unconscious form in its arms, a fight evident on your bruised and cut form as blood trickles from your forehead to the earth beneath. And on your head, the source of the wound, is a crown of thorns. He fights the urge to cry and vomit at the state you were in, at the state he could have prevented if he'd just STAYED.

"Please," his broken voice ghosted a smile on the God's face, "Please leave them alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Alatus' heart sinks at the refusal with his gaze unfocusing at the difference in power. "After all, they're the one I wanted in the first place, everyone else is just collateral damage."

From that point forward, to preserve the little life force you have, Alatus was under the grasp of the evil god. Under his command he razes the villages he once protected, eating the dreams of the humans that only wish to live in peace. His hands of grace grips his spear with the stains of blood as he kneels in front of the evil God, its name he didn't bother to remember anymore at this point.

It smirks at him while over its hand floats a cube only a few inches bigger. Your cell, where you're cooped up with only a glow of deep blue indicating your existence within it. When he misbehaves he hears cries of agony from it, when he does very satisfactory he even gets to hold it but only that.

The years of painful service had wiped off his smile and most of his memories. Alatus had already forgotten your voice and your face at this point, only the humans and beings he had killed comes to his memories.

Soon after, he has only known the cube to hold something dear to him, a weakness that is a precious one he could not risk. When he tries to remember, he's reminded of a vague visage and a sweet taste on his tongue. If he could cry now he would. It was one of the only good things in his mind now even tho its details continue to ebb away with his horrific deeds.

And finally, like a light that shines through the canopy of the overhead trees, a being mighty enough to contend his evil master comes down to end his suffering.

Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon, the one the evil god desperately tries to overthrow died in his hands.

It is done, all of it. No more innocent blood should stain his hands. "The cube this god possessed is a cell." What should he do now? There was no other place to come back to, maybe the You that resides in the cube had any ideas, to start over. That sounds like a good idea.

"Alatus, was it?" His head slowly picks up from the blank stare it had on the ground.

"Yes, Rex Lapis?"

"Do you know of the one who resides within this cube?" There was a hesitance in Rex Lapis' voice that passed through him.

"They are someone that I know."

"It seems... that human... has perished 200 years ago in this cell."

Alatus, like that last day in a ruined village, had lost his grace when he collapses to the ground. His weakness and his hope both gone.

Seems to me my writing has been short lately

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @kookieyachi @struggljng @bunniesrorange @anormalguyreader

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I know you’ve talked about how all the Cullen pairings are eventually going to implode - glad someone said it - but I was wondering if you wanted to talk a little bit about what you think Meyer INTENDED with the pairings - tropes and whatnot? And what you think would have to change in her narrative to make what was intended what we actually saw on the page? Or — what do you think each cullens’ Perfect Spouse would actually look like?

Anon is referring to this post.

And well, you've certainly given me quite the challenge.

Some Musing Ramblings Before We Begin

Sort of like asking me to make Dramione work, I'm not sure I'm the person to ask this. Anyone who reads my work knows that... well, that's a lie, every story I secretly write is a love story. But it's not Twilight in any way shape or form.

Twilight simply isn't a story I would set out to write. This isn't a good thing or a bad thing, it just is, which means that asking me to make Twilight work the way Meyer intended is probably not your best bet.

But I'll try regardless, it's what we're here for.

Bella/Edward

Meyer intended Bella Swan and Edward Cullen to be the best and brightest of all the pairings in Twilight. They have the love and devotion of Carlisle and Esme, the physicality and sexual attraction of Rosalie and Emmett, and are such a grand love that even depressed Marcus takes note. This is the love story that drives the entire series.

Edward is an improvement upon Carlisle, a Carlisle with even better control, and the most beautiful man you ever did see. He's also a gentleman, a man of his time and from an era where chivalry was alive and men courted women. Bella is one of those disturbingly altruistic people who makes you feel bad about yourself just by being in the same room. She's incredibly selfless, kind, and also quite brave.

Together, despite their ups and downs and the many obstacles in their way, they're disgustingly perfect.

However, that's not what we get. On Edward's end he's... Edward about loving Bella. On Bella's end, she has no idea who Edward even is but she does know he's beautiful and special.

And to get what Meyer actually wanted... Christ, Anon, I'll try.

So, the first problem, if Edward was truly a good person then Twilight would never happen.

Edward would have his first day of Biology, miraculously maintain control, and flee to Alaska as he does in canon. However, he would not return. Edward in canon returns due to his budding obsession as well as his wounded pride, in fleeing Forks he feels he has lost to Bella. When Carlisle later points out that a girl's life is on the line, that Edward is foolishly endangering this girl solely for his ego, Edward refuses to acknowledge this.

A good man would never have returned from Alaska, the Cullens would have moved in short order, and Bella may or may not have died in a parking lot or in Port Angeles.

That said, what if Bella is not, in fact, Edward's singer? Then there's not this constant debate of him eating her or his creepy, budding, obsession with his personal brand of heroin.

Well, the trouble with that is that Edward would then never notice her. Even were Edward not a colossal dismissive dick, required per this ask, Bella is one mortal out of many and someone he shouldn't grow close to. Associating with her just exposes her to unnecessary danger from him and his family. Edward is a guest in our world, nothing more, and a kind Edward might chit chat with her in Biology but even if he had a growing crush he'd keep his distance.

As he tried and failed to do in canon, actually.

Basically, change Edward alone, and it's not enough. The Edward Meyer wanted would never get together with Bella. At least, not without a lot of AU-sauce.

But let's look at Bella for a moment. Bella's character also has to be entirely stripped down. The Bella of the books is extremely depressed and her infatuation with Edward is fueled in part because of this. Edward's obsession with her gives her worth.

Obviously, in this new and improved edition of Twilight, Bella can't use either Edward or Jacob for validation. She has to be able to stand on her own two legs. If she does use either for validation, then the relationship must come to an end, as she and her significant other realize just what it is Bella's doing.

The trouble is, what does this not-depressed Bella have to fall in love with? Yes, Edward's beautiful, and that certainly goes a long way, but in canon he's a dick. Bella even thinks to herself that he's a complete dick (even when he's trying to be charming). Luckily for Edward she later decides that this is cryptic and therefore appealing.

Well, in AU land, Edward might be so damn charming that Bella likes him anyway but we come back to Edward keeping her at a polite distance.

So, what we need is a terrifying villain. Let's call him Angelus (though per Twilight this would probably be James). Angelus is a vampire that will force Edward's hand. For whatever reason, he decides to torment and ruin Bella's life, ending the hunt in either eating her or turning her into his bride. Angelus' existence forces Bella to be in the know and for Edward to have to take extreme action.

The pair become closer, grow through undoubtedly horrific trauma, and through said trauma Bella understands not only the pros of being a vampire but the terrifying cons.

Basically, it'd be this story. Just replace the name "Carlisle" with Edward and "Edward" with James.

Alice/Jasper

Alice and Jasper are supposed to have this ineffable, mystic, connection where they're together because... Alice saw them together. And in a way, that's true, but it's supposed to be a thing of beauty, soulmates if there ever were any, and instead it's this dumpster fire with nothing holding them together.

This one's easier in a way, well, sort of. Alice would have to be a completely different character and we'd have to see a lot more of Jasper.

Alice has a bad habit of treating those around her, even those she loves, as chess pieces. She'll put them in significant danger, court their misery, so long as it gets her the future she wants.

And she's extremely controlling.

Right away in the opening of Midnight Sun we see this and how it affects her and Jasper's relationship. The novel opens with Alice hovering, scanning the future for Japser fucking up, while Jasper just sits there in misery. Due to her obsession on making sure Jasper doesn't eat students, she actually misses Edward's plan to massacre Biology and his many plans to eat Bella Swan.

Even if she wasn't, this isn't good for anyone to live with. Jasper has very little concept of free will, whatever happens to him, whatever he'll do, Alice tells him and the worst possible option is always on the table.

For Jasper/Alice to work either Alice's gift needs to go (and that's... sort of all Alice is) or she has to tell no one any vision ever unless under extreme circumstances.

Which would be devastating for Alice. Rather than this mostly well-adjusted, perky, girl, Alice would be crippled by her gift. The weight of the world, everyone's free will, rests on her shoulders and she has to constantly avoid temptation to simply pick everyone's future for them.

Without the attitude Alice has in canon, I think she'd go mad with such a gift, or else be consumed by the responsibility of it.

Then we get to the mess that is Jasper. Jasper's complicated, and I don't want to get into it here, but his love story would have to be... too large to be put to the side like that. The redemption he'd need is not one that can be shoved into a few paragraphs told to Bella, it's frankly the kind of story that would drive an ordinary story.

So we'd have to see a lot of Jasper and Nouveau Alice. Which, of course, detracts from Bella/Edward which is the main point of the story.

Honestly, I take it back, there's no salvaging this relationship. They would have to be completely different people to the point where they're entirely different characters wearing nametags 'Alice' and 'Jasper'. Alice couldn't have her gift, which informs her entire character, and we'd have to see way too much of Jasper who is ultimately a tertiary character.

Carlisle/Esme

Thoughts on Carlisle/Esme.

Carlisle and Esme is a very 'spiritual' relationship per Meyer. They're... mom-bot and dad-bot. Alright, fine, they're the perfect parents with this deep love for each other and a very parental bond with Edward especially. It's the relationship Edward admires the most in his paired off family.

I don't even know how to fix this one.

Again, they'd have to be such different people. The trouble with Esme and Carlisle is that they share no values and are plagued by massive miscommunication. The Carlisle who is perfect for Esme... No, wait, this Carlisle is perfect for her, but that's because she's in Esme Land.

The Carlisle that would be perfect for a grounded Esme is not the one that exists. She'd want someone who would always put the family first, who would treasure her above all other things, that's not Carlisle.

Carlisle, similarly, would want someone that truly shares his ideals. That's not Esme.

So, we're back to nametag land, because one or both have to completely change for this to work. (Not to mention that Esme's probably not supposed to be Esme).

So, I've got nothing for this.

Rosalie/Emmett

I actually think these two are what Meyer intended. They love each other but are mostly held together by attraction. They're a very physical couple and good for the most part but inherently lesser than Bella/Edward.

Sure, I'd argue that they're the most put together couple in the house, but I think they're meant to have flaws. They work well together, but every other relationship in the Cullens has to be a step up or at least have something more to it.

Something Edward and Bella can be better than.

Conclusion

Dear god. Did I only manage to somewhat address Bella/Edward? Was that it? This was worse than I thought.

[chyanxrene]

One More Drink

♡ Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Y/N

♡ Summary: Y/N and Draco have a one night stand, however things are not as straightforward as they seem (I’m not sure how to describe this one)

♡ Warnings: Pure smut, female receiving (anything else let me know)

Working as a healer was Y/N's dream ever since she studied at Hogwarts. The countless hours she put into her studying did not go unnoticed. So when she left Hogwarts two years ago she was immediately offered a high position in St. Mungo's.

Her efforts in the war were appreciated by many. She wasn't fully trained, nor did she know what she was doing when she was presented with injured wizards. But she tried, her ambition, the way she tried her hardest to not let a single soul die beneath her touch was admired by almost everyone.

So for the past two years, every Friday at 8PM. After she had finished her evening shift, she headed down to her local bar. Although she was a strong individual, her mind was haunted by the blood, the injuries, and it only followed her when she went to work.

So Friday was her day, her day to drown out the horrific images, her day to let loose, because she deserved it.

She liked being alone, she enjoyed her own company. The war changed everyone, she barely spoke with her friends from Hogwarts. They all lived their own lives, the thought of them only forced her to remember everything that had happened.

So here she was, alone in her local bar. It was her second drink of the night, the alcohol yet to mix into her blood. This week had been long, gruesome and tiring, she wanted something stronger. Something to provide her with temporary amnesia.

She flicked her hand up, signalling the bartender over. This bartender was new, he was young, slightly shaky. She was sure he was overwhelmed with the amount of people in the bar.

He sent her a weak smile, sweat dripping off the tip of his nose. He rubbed it off with his forearm and immediately had apologetic eyes, Y/N couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"I'll have another Martini please" Y/N smiled, she bit the olive off the toothpick and shoved it back into her glass.

"Right away" the bartender rushed, he was sloppy with his work. Loud men, flirty women all called him in unison, wanting his attention. Craving their own taste of poison.

Y/N looked around from her bar stool, the place was rammed. There were no empty chairs, no spare tables, bodies were everywhere. This only heated up the small bar, Y/N pushed her jacket down, settling it on her lap as she waited for her drink.

She fiddled with her fingers, she would enjoy some company right now. Perhaps she should start bringing her friends, or find a lover.

She shook her head at the thoughts, men were too complicated. She didn't have time for them, besides, she was picky when it came to the opposite sex.

After a few moments her drink arrived in front of her, except there were no olives. She thought to complain, but the poor boy was already under pressure. She didn't want to add any more, she swung the drink back effortlessly.

This was the drink that done it, the gin burned her throat, she could feel the alcohol swim through her veins. Her stomach fluttered, even though her jacket had come off, she had heated up again.

Y/N went to request another drink, but something else had been placed in front of her.

Brown liquid gold in a shot glass— fire whiskey. She smirked to herself, every Friday an unknown admirer purchased her a single shot of fire whiskey.

Was she really hot, or did she just want to take off her jacket so her admirer could see her bare skin. Y/N didn't know, some parts of her wanted to find out who it was. Other parts of her wanted to keep on playing their little game.

It must've been someone from Hogwarts— in the Muggle world they done shots of Vodka, tequila even rum— never fire whiskey.

She held the drink to her lips, pressing them on the rim. Her nostrils burned, smelling the strong smell of the alcohol. She counted to three before swallowing the contents of the shot glass.

Her mind was full of memories in Hogwarts, the times that her and her friends would sneak fire whiskey into a party. Drinking after exams, before quidditch games and after, any excuse for a good time— fire whiskey was there.

Her heart warmed, that's it, she had to know who was sending her these drinks, every Friday for two years straight— she had to know.

Whoever it was, they were smart. Friday was always the busiest day, so no matter how hard Y/N tried to look for the unknown person, her mind was always cloudy by that time. So she would give up, plus the bartender would never tell her who it was.

A light bulb went off in her head, she then realised— this was a new bartender.

She called him over, he ran to her. His face was red, he looked like he was on the verge of passing out.

"Who sent this drink?" She asked, her voice was laced with excitement.

"I— I don't know."

"You must know— he obviously told you— what did he look like?"

"Oh— yes right— white hair— he's tall, wearing all black."

"Thank you" Y/N smiled, she rose from her chair. She was going to find him, whoever it was.

She checked, table after table, there was no sign of this white haired man. She almost gave up, wanting to return to her seat. She internally screamed seeing it was now occupied.

She spun around ready to head to the exit, her face then collided with a hard chest.

"Looking for me?" The male spoke.

Y/N frowned, she pushed back, raising her head. She had seen him before, she knew who he was but she couldn't pin point where she knew him from.

God he was beautiful, his face was carved sharply, his eyes a stormy grey colour. He was powerful, just by his stance, his skin was clean, like porcelain, there wasn't a scratch on it.

"I— uh-"

"Would you like to sit down? You're welcome to sit on my table" he spoke again, his voice was deep, it almost went straight to Y/N's core.

She couldn't speak, she was in awe at this beautiful man.

"If I'd had known that you were going to react like this then I would've made myself known sooner" he chuckled.

His hand wrapped around her wrist, his cold fingertips snapped her out of the trance. Before she knew what he was doing, he dragged her back to his table. It was in the corner, dim lit, her eyes went to where the bar was, she realised he had a clear view of her.

He was watching her all this time.

"I— do I know you?" She asked, her eyes met his, she was intimidated by his strong gaze.

"I don't know, do you?" He responded, picking up his drink and raising it to his lips.

"You look familiar" Y/N mumbled, watching him, his pink tongue fell out and licked the rim of his glass before he sipped on the contents.

Her breath hitched in her throat, he knew that, he had been watching her for so long.

He set his glass down and turned his body so that their knees were touching, "we went to school together."

"Hogwarts?" Y/N frowned.

He hummed, conjuring more fire whiskey from the tip of his wand. Y/N looked around to see if anyone had watched but luckily no one did.

Then she realised who he was, the annoying, pompous asshole that got underneath everyone's skin.

"Malfoy" she grimaced.

"Huh, you were eye fucking me less than two minutes ago— now you're saying my name like you hate me Y/L/N."

"Piss off— I was not— you've just changed— that's all."

"In a good way I'm guessing" he smirked, his fingers tapped the table below him. She couldn't help but stare at his long fingers, decorated with silver expensive rings.

She let out a breath, the fire whiskey had clearly taken over her body and her mind, "very good."

Draco was taken aback by her response, she had always been bold. But after the war, everyone had lost their spark, it seemed she hadn't which only enticed him more.

"So, Malfoy, you've been watching me all this time, buying me drinks— what's the catch?" She laughed, she picked up his drink and sipped a little of it. Some escaped from the corner of her mouth, due to her rushing to swallow the drink.

His finger reached out, collecting the fallen liquid. He brushed it against her bottom lip, letting it sit there before he pushed his wet finger into his own mouth.

Y/N sat there with her mouth open, her thoughts ran wild. Imagining what Malfoy would be like in bed, he was an arrogant bastard, so he must have something to show for it.

She could faintly remember him in school, however all her memories of him were negative. Him bullying the golden Trio, treating girls like toys. She had despised him, she couldn't remember him in the war— or if he was even there.

"There's no catch" he said, bringing her back to reality.

"I find that hard to believe, there's always a catch with you Malfoy."

"Call me Draco— darling."

Y/N hadn't noticed that her thong had became wet, only when she shifted from leg to leg. She felt the cool breeze travel up her skirt and right onto her underwear. She unknowingly had a blush painted across her face, which Draco had noticed.

"Everything alright?" He whispered, he leaned closer to her, his strong scent overpowering her nostrils. His hand found her knee and rested it there, Y/N secretly hoped he would move his hand further.

"I— I'm fine, it's just hot in here" Y/N nervously laughed.

"You seem flustered Y/N" Draco said in a hushed tone, he leaned even closer to her, his breath now hot against her ear.

"I'm— I'm just hot Draco" she lifted his glass to her mouth, drinking slowly, trying to avoid his eyes.

"Mmm, are you wet too?"

Y/N choked on the drink, liquid flew out of her mouth landing on the table. She didn't expect him to come out with that, how did he know, was it that obvious?

Draco picked up a piece of tissue and dried the table, "I'll take that as a yes."

She was embarrassed, more than embarrassed. She wanted to run out of the bar and never return, but she couldn't. His pull was strong, that's what kept her there.

"No— I'm not."

"I think you're lying darling."

His hand had moved to her thigh, massaging it with his hand. Her skin quickly covered in goosebumps, he left a light kiss on her cheek and pried her thighs open as they were firmly shut from her crossing them.

Draco looked in her eyes to see if there was any sign of protest, but there wasn't, her eyes were full of lust and want.

"I think," Draco paused, his index finger drew circles up her inner thigh, edging closer and closer to her wet thong.

His mouth was brushing her ear, "you should let me, clean this little mess you made."

His finger dragged along the centre of her thong, an almost inaudible groan escaped past his pink lips. Y/N's hand grabbed onto his forearm, holding it in place.

She whimpered feeling his finger slip underneath her thong, he ran his finger up and down, collecting her arousal on his finger.

He stilled and looked at her, Draco had never seen a prettier sight. He was going to enjoy this thoroughly, "would you let me do that?"

Y/N had forgotten that he had asked a question, all she could focus on was his slender finger touching her ever so carefully.

"Hmm? Answer me love, would you like that— would you like me to clean this up?" He whispered, circling her clit slowly, his eyes stared into the side of her face. Waiting for an answer, he knew she was in a trance.

He removed his finger, hoping that would force her to answer his question.

Y/N's mouth ran dry, she couldn't remember the last time she had been touched like this. She wanted to say in Hogwarts but everything before the war was fuzzy to her.

"Yes" she managed to whisper.

He nodded, he downed his drink and leaned back into the chair. Y/N frowned, looking at him, she thought he was going to move out of the way so she could exit the booth.

But he just sat there, he ran his tongue over his teeth, smirking slightly whilst he watched her.

"Ladies first."

"But you're in the way."

"I'm a gentleman, ladies first Y/N" he said, his bottom lip was caught in between his teeth as he watched her scramble and collect her belongings.

She stood up, praying silently to herself, do not fall over him. He widened his legs and allowed her to step over one of them until she was standing in between his legs.

She almost fell but he caught her by her waist, she looked down at him. His eyes were already on hers, they are dark, he looked at her like she was his prey.

"Careful love," his eyes wandered down her body until they reached her ass. His tongue ran across his lips, moistening them before he moved his hand off her waist.

Y/N managed to climb out of the booth safely, without falling on him again. She threw her coat on and waited for him to stand up, he immediately towered over her.

His hand fell to the small of her back and guided her through the sweaty bodies. He didn't need to push anyone out of the way, his presence alone made people stand to the side.

Once they had reached the empty street he held out his hand for her to take. She knew where this was going, she always hated apparating but it was the fastest way to transport to places.

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the wave of nausea run through her system. Apparating and alcohol were not a good pairing, she knew not to make this mistake again.

Finally back on two feet she waited for her body to regain its normal composure. She looked at her surroundings, a simple flat. It was modern but with dark accents to it, typical for a Slytherin she thought to herself.

The kitchen was attached to the lounge, a nice open space. Y/N wondered if he lived by himself. It was a large flat, the floor to floor windows overlooked the streets of central London. I guess he still had money even after the war.

Y/N placed her bag on the floor and stood by the window, watching the river Thames in the background, then glancing to the busy streets, full of life.

Draco stood next to her, watching everywhere she was watching.

"It's nice isn't it?" Draco said, Y/N hummed and leaned against the window. She was no longer watching the view, she was watching him. The way his eyes glowed against the moons natural light.

She couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach, his hand cupped the side of her face. His thumb brushed up and down her cheek before he leaned in and kissed her.

She welcomed his mouth with hers, instantly deepening the kiss with her tongue. Draco let out a groan, he waited two years to get her like this. He didn't know how much longer he could wait.

Y/N's arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to her. He bent down picking her up by the back of her thighs, their mouths never disconnected.

Each second the kiss became more desperate, full of hunger and need. Both of them needed this, for two complete different reasons, but neither of them knew what the others were.

Draco managed to set Y/N on top of the island in his kitchen. His hands ran up her sides, brushing past her breasts and then back down to her thighs.

Y/N tried to get his shirt off, only managing to tear the top three buttons before giving up. She instead put her fingers through his hair, tugging on his neatly gelled hair, making it a now disheveled.

She swallowed his groans in her mouth, allowing him to push her legs open, which he settled between. He removed his mouth, Y/N was catching her breath, gasping heavily.

Draco made his way down her collar bone, sucking and biting at the spot which he knew would drive her crazy.

She whimpered, feeling him lick her pulse and then bite on it gently.

"God, Draco."

He let out a laugh and pulled her legs to the edge of the table so she was sitting half on it. She fell backwards waiting for him to touch her.

Her skirt had been bunched up around her waist, Draco pushed her thighs apart, he could see everything now. Her wet underwear, so flimsy, he was almost angered seeing her wear something so skimpy to a bar full of perverted men.

But he pushed his thoughts aside and kissed along her inner thighs. Wet kisses scorched her sensitive skin, she could still feel each kiss even when his mouth had left the area.

She was in a state of bliss, her thoughts and senses were overpowered by pleasure.

"Draco" she moaned, feeling him lick a long stripe up her pussy. The friction between his wet tongue and lace underwear caused her to jolt forward.

His finger curled underneath her underwear, he pulled it down her legs, throwing it on the ground carelessly.

His face was now centimetres away from her aching pussy. If she moved closer his mouth would be touching it, but she waited for him.

He sucked in a breath, the heat from his mouth fanned against her bare pussy. Sending chills down her spine which was already cold against the marble slab beneath her.

Draco could've said a thousand words, but he bit his tongue. He didn't want to make her feel weird or uncomfortable, so he kept his thoughts to himself.

His middle finger entered her without warning, Draco shut his eyes feeling her pussy clench the single finger. He let out a breath, eyes peering up at the beautiful witch in front of him.

She was still, frozen, only her chest heaving up and down. Draco was unsure if she was okay, but the way her pussy tightened around his finger showed that she was still with him.

He pushed it in and out a few times, testing her tightness, he wanted nothing more than to replace his finger with his cock, but he would wait.

"More" Y/N managed to squeak out.

He abided with her command and added a second finger. He would do anything she asked him to do at this moment.

He used a scissoring motion, stretching her, preparing her for his cock, which he knew he had to do. After watching her countless nights, he was fully aware that she hadn't had anyone since Hogwarts.

He wanted her to be ready for when she took his cock, he didn't want her to feel an ounce of pain. Only pleasure, and he wanted to be the one that gave it to her. The only one, to give it to her.

Y/N couldn't breathe, she hadn't felt like this in a long time. She couldn't even make herself cum, she was close, the teasing from the bar and now this.

"You look so beautiful Y/N— do you like that? Do you like feeling my fingers stretch your— tight little pussy?" Draco groaned, she didn't respond, only clenching her pussy again as a somewhat answer.

"God— I can't wait to feel you around my cock."

Draco latched his mouth onto her clit, sucking on it gently. His fingers were fucking her quickly, never losing there pace even when she gripped his hair tightly.

The wet noises made Draco hard. It was painful, he didn't know how to contain himself anymore. He wanted to be inside her now, he needed it— more than anything.

But her pleasure came first, always.

She was close, her low screams partnered with her squirming beneath his touch made Draco fully aware. He moved his fingers and replaced it with his tongue— finally tasting her.

He lapped up her arousal, savouring the taste. His fingers rubbed harshly on her clit as he prodded his tongue in and out of her.

She suddenly stilled and screamed his name, followed by multiple curse words. The orgasm washed over her, but Draco never stopped. He continued licking her until she was clean before he raised his head again.

His mouth shiny, covered in her cum. He licked his lips, humming at her taste.

Y/N's head fell back onto the table, she let out a shaky breath and sat up. She watched as he palmed his cock through his neatly ironed trousers.

His movements were slow, Y/N couldn't help but become aroused again. He was teasing her, he undone his belt slowly and unzipped his trousers. All while maintaining eye contact with her.

The room was filled with heavy breaths, Y/N couldn't wait to see what he had to offer. Never in a million years did she think she would fuck Draco Malfoy. But here she was, silently begging for him to do so.

His trousers were pushed down first, leaving him in his black boxers. They hardly disguised his erection, the tip was peaking out of the top, a wet patch surrounded it.

"You want this?" He smirked, rubbing his cock through his boxers. He squeezed the base and ran his hand up to the tip, groaning at his own pleasure. Y/N felt jealous, utterly jealous.

Y/N nodded quickly, licking her lips. He laughed, pushing his boxers down to his ankles.

A gasp tumbled out of her mouth, his cock stood up, reaching his belly button. It was hard, it looked like it was causing him pain.

How was she going to take that when she hadn't had sex in so long. Thank God she was a healer, she laughed to herself.

He pulled her to the edge again, "I'll stop if it hurts."

Y/N rolled her eyes, "just fuck me Draco."

He shook his head, lining his tip up with her entrance. He didn't enter just yet, he ran the tip up and down her pussy, nudging her clit with it a few times.

She chewed on her bottom lip, watching him closely. He just stared between them, sweat was trickling down his temple. He gulped heavily and closed his eyes.

"Draco?"

"Wait" he mumbled, he pushed inside of her, a strained groan coming from his throat.

Her pussy hugged him so tightly. He didn't know if he could ever pull out, or if he even wanted to.

Draco's hand went to her throat and held onto it tightly. He composed himself before pulling out and thrusting into her again, he tested a few different paces before deciding which one to go with.

He knew he wouldn't last long, so he went with short deep thrusts. That's what Y/N received, short, deep, delicious thrusts.

His hand was tight around her throat, making it hard for her to even breath— let alone moan. Draco's eyes were fixated on where the two were connecting.

"Fuck— your cunt is so— fucking tight" he grunted. His hips moved faster, and his hand only clasped tighter.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. The coil in Y/N's stomach was about to snap again. When she closed her eyes she saw stars, her head was fuzzy, she felt disoriented.

"You're taking me so well— just like you us-"

He was cut off by a loud moan, Draco moved his hand from her neck, his thumb circled her clit leisurely. He watched her come undone for him, and that's all he ever wanted.

Y/N choked as her second orgasm bulldozed through her body. The way her pussy clenched around Draco forced him to come to an early orgasm.

It hit him unexpectedly, that had never happened before.

The two tried to regain their breaths. Draco was still inside her, currently too unstable to pull out. Y/N was desperately trying to get her normal vision back.

After a few minutes they were able to find a sense of normality. Draco raised his head, watching as Y/N gave him a lazy smile— no— a freshly fucked smile.

He pulled out of her, resulting in a wince escaping from her mouth. She sat up slowly, waiting for him to help her down from the island.

Y/N asked where the bathroom was, which Draco directed her to. She was weak, unstable, she needed help from him to find her way there. She felt uncomfortable, usually she would leave, but something about Draco made her want to stay.

But she couldn't, she didn't have time for men. After she cleaned herself up there was an awkward silence. Neither of the pair knew what to do.

Draco offered her to stay over but she refused. He put on a light smile, brushing off her rejection. But deep down the pang in his heart made him want to disappear.

"Goodnight Draco" Y/N whispered, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Goodnight darling" he smiled.

He watched as she disappeared into the night. Hoping she would turn around and say she wanted to stay but she never.

Draco shut his flat door, he sighed in content, knowing he was one step closer to being reunited with his lost love. One day he would tell her everything that had happened, why he had to obliviate her.

But for now, he would just buy her one more drink.