#kinda at the point where i need to just sit down and map some stuff out

[lisa-and-shadow]

My thoughts on Starfield:

First of all, I do really enjoy the game for all of its flaws. Just want to get that out of the way first.

It is, from toe to tip, a Bethesda game. For better or worse. It definitely has a very Fallout-esque flavor. As a big fan of Obsidian's The Outer Worlds, I can't help but compare the two and they are similar in a lot of ways. We are definitely having cowboy times in space doodoo do doo. That's not a bad thing though. I think it's easy to see influences from all sorts of sci-fi sources throughout the game. We've got space miners on asteroids, rag-tag space pirates, slick corpos, uptight military leaders, and the aforementioned independent minded space cowboys. Pick a trope from a popular title and it's in there. We've even got space drugs made from fish!

Technical downsides? Menu upon menus within loadscreens within menus. It's fairly quick, but it just takes you out of the action. So you wanna fly to another planet? Sit in the pilot's seat. Tiny unskippable scene of you sitting down. Menu to take off pops up. Cinematic cut scene of you taking off plays. Now you're in orbit. You might have a random encounter in orbit, peaceful or hostile. (Some really fun ones.) Open your main menu. Go to the star map. Find the star system you want to travel to and select it. Click Jump. Cutscene of your ship doing a FTL jump to that system. Load screen. Now you're in orbit in the new system. Open that menu back up to scan the planet and find a landing site. Etc etc.

ORRRRR you can pick a planet you've already been to, or from your quest log, and just fast travel there from the main menu and never fly in space at all. ??? Aside from kinda defeating the point, you have skill points to level up how much cargo your ship can carry that requires you to make FTL jumps. And BY GOD will you need cargo space.

The game does not explain things well. I guess Todd was tired of hearing about how Skyrim was too "hand holdy" because this game doesn't tell you shit. Once I played for a while I figured things out or I just looked them up online. I also watched a couple of Gameranx videos before I started playing. (I 💜Jake Baldino and Falcon.) That helped tremendously.

Speaking of not telling you things... there are NO city maps. The cities are huge with lots of buildings and shops you can explore and people you can interact with. Good luck memorizing them, bitch. (You'll get used to them eventually, honestly. But I'd kill for a map.) Planets have a surface map but it will only show you a very condensed local area with specific landmarks highlighted on a blank blue background.

There's a lot of really funny stuff in the game that has made me LOL and I want to shout out the writers. Just kooky jokes and silly encounters. Had a pilot hail me to make a Uranus joke. Dead. Had another ship invite on board to party. Very fun.

I personally have not encountered any major bugs to speak of. I thought I did on my first mission but I was in the wrong place bc the game didn't tell me where to go bc fuck maps. I did lose some weapons bc of bugged weapon racks on a ship I got but they weren't anything special. I haven't seen any floating mammoths or anything.

The leveling system is not my favorite. There are a ton of things to potentially put points into from pistol damage to carry weight to how well your ship steers. When you put a point into a trait it unlocks a "challenge". For example, I put a point in security, so until I unlock 5 locks I don't get the bonus from that point. Then once you complete the challenge, the bonus is activated and the next level of that perk is available to unlock. The problem is for some of the combat perks, you're going to be making pistol kills (or whatever) that aren't counting towards your perk bc you don't have a point to unlock the next level. Or maybe you forgot to go into that menu 30 minutes ago, or didn't realize that perk was done. Bethesda said they were trying to keep players from getting too OP and having too many perk points but damn. It sucks bc base building is also limited by perks.

Base building! Ok so this is a mash-up of Fallout 4 and No Man's Sky sort of... kind of. Apparently your main objective is to place bases on planets to harvest valuable resources like Helium-3. Considering that I already have more companions than I do places to put them, I was looking for a place to assign these folks so they'd stop pestering me on my dang ship. You can build bases right from the get go, but certain things are blocked off until you have a couple of perks unlocked. I always need more perk points. Ugh.

There are 4 companions you can romance. I immediately started flirting with the cowboy single dad. He looked boring before the game came out, but I'm 100% a sucker. He has a southern accent and a raspy voice and calls his daughter "gumdrop". He's like a 15% himbo. One of his voice lines after I looted a corpse was, "To the victor go the spoils... Did I say that right?" Shut your mouth and kiss me. AND! His baby mama is NOT dead. I won't spoil it, but it is refreshing as fuck!!

Yes, I did unlock the Adoring Fan from Oblivion and add him to my crew. How could I not?? He's everything you could possibly imagine and more. 11/10

Heller 💜

I'm a ways into the main story but these are my take aways without any real spoilers. It's fun. It really is. I'm a loot gremlin and Beth outdid themselves with the lootables on this one. So yeah. I like it. It's pretty much what I expected.

[theworldvsyoshiko]

Anyway, now that the mechs are taken care of, here's the new side of the settlement. Still under construction, but it's functional now.

Kinda going from south to north, we've got:

The temple. The staked-out spot on that green to the east will be a shuttle landing pad, for outsiders to visit. The bedrooms to the west will eventually probably be for prisoners, but right now they're mostly guest rooms. And Trav is crashing in one so he stops sleeping on the fucking bathroom floor.

The living area. Does that dining room have multiple gold-embossed tables? Yes, of course. After building those first four bedrooms I decided that actually, a brick floor bedroom sounds like it'd suck, so the new ones get carpet. I'll probably upgrade them later. The big currently-empty building to the east will be the new hospital eventually, and past that will be most of the guest rooms. Trying to put all the stuff that visitors beeline toward right by the (future) landing pad.

The rec... the word 'room' no longer fits. This is a rec complex. A rec complex, with silver fences and golden pillars outside, containing 3 individual Extremely Impressive rec rooms and 1 Very Impressive, that's so big that I ended up having to build around a nearby geothermal geyser. ... which worked out anyway, because it does take a hell of a lot of power to keep all of this cool. I have just about exhausted the components on this map already, and that's with buying a ton.

Clockwise from the top, we've got:

the room with all the electronic nerd shit

bathrooms and the geothermal generator (staff only)

the gym feat. swimming pool made out of solid silver. It'll have more stuff later, but I need to get the materials first.

casino. With a classy live music setup, because I find that when you have two masterwork harps, the question of 'so where do I put the two masterwork harps?' comes up a lot.

the club, because after dancing you probably wanna get in a golden hot tub or sit down and have a drink.

Putting more bathrooms outside of the rec complex is an ongoing project (I am going, of course, to make toilets out of jade, so they need a suitable spot) so right now a lot of people end up going in there just to piss.

Now that it's mostly finished, the next goals are:

get the new hospital up and running

build 8 or so guest rooms to the east of the hospital.

get the shuttle pad up and running.

build some actual defenses, for real this time. The settlement shouldn't need to expand much past this point, which has been one of the obstacles so far. Now that it's stopped growing, I can at least wall off parts of it to cut down on the potential angles for people to invade.

convert the old rec room to a gene lab. Not actually sure what I wanna do with genetic engineering? A lot of that is usually combat stuff, which is less of a concern here. But I might as well.

replace these packed dirt roads with some nice stone. Which will take an absolutely ludicrous amount of time and materials, but that's what the Dancing Flock is all about. Each one of those packed dirt tiles is -1 beauty, and that cannot stand.

[misty-zzz]

Chapter 3, Broken titan AU

Mwhehehe,

ok so the original version of this chapter wouldnt load and stufff...

urm

kinda glad, bc the og version was kinda bad... 😔

☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️☀️☁️

“I’m thinking wublin island, with all the supernatural stuff going on there, possibly they could have an answer.” Tootoo isn’t exactly sure where to go, but this was one of the first things that came to mind. “Wublin island is a little whiles always, should take an hour and an half or so.” Hoola gets back on the skyship, and pulls out a map. Figuring out where on this doughnut like planet this island is. “Alrighty!” She places the map back into its place. “You guys can board the ship now!” She gestures. Tootoo and Fiddlement enter the ship. They venture to the inside of the ship. It had a nice interior. Mostly filled with decor from each seasonal events. From left to right, on the left wall there were hammocks for the crew to sleep in. The center had tables, with a kitchen in the back. And at the right, there’s a wall filled with photos. Some being places the ship has been, and some pictures of monsters. Fiddlement flies up to a hammock. “These aren’t the most comfortable…” they complain. “Hammocks aren’t comfortable most of the time.” Tootoo agrees. Hoola walk down the stairs. “The photo wall is pretty cool, huh?” She walks towards the photos. Tootoo nods, they both head towards the wall aswell. “Here’s an old one,” Hoola pulls off a photo. “The first and only time I’ve been to wublin island!” The photo had 5 distinct monsters. Hoola sticks it back on the wall. They both stare at the image a little longer. “I’ve got to get this ship off the ground!” She heads back up the stairs. “Wait, do you have any papers and pencils anywhere?” Tootoo wanted to know. “I’ll bring some when I come back down!” She continues up. “I want to look at the pictures!” Fiddlement suggests. “There’s plant island! Oh, and Fairie!” The shipped seemed to lift, they were on their way to wublin island. Upon searching through the images some more, they were to able to find one of the whole pomily, with a little Tootoo! She cringed at seeing a younger version of herself, Fiddlement thought it was a cute photo. They turn around to see Hoola walking down. “Got the your stuff!” She places the papers and pens on a nearby table. “I’ll stay down here with you guys for now.” She sits down. The two sit on the bench across them. Tootoo inspects Hoola, realizing she never whore the bandanna and goggles ever before. “Where did you get the bandanna and goggles from?” She asks. “These? I got them during summer song this year! The epic wubbox on air island gave them to me, saying I might need these for my travels!” Hoola answers. “They look good on you!” Tootoo smiles. Tootoo goes ahead and starts drawing. She decides to draw her beloved original character, Delta. The half hoo-man half dragon. Trying out new poses to draw her in. “Delta, huh? What’s her backstory, I don’t know too much about her.” Says Hoola. Tootoo looks at Fiddlement. They know Delta by heart, and were ready to dump this whole backstory to her, even if they didn’t have much. “Well…” they spoke at the same time. “Delta was a dragon, she was well liked with in the community. But due to a curse she was transformed to a half dragon half hoo-man!” Explains Tootoo. “She was kicked out of cities and villages, because she was just so different, and is trying to get revenge!” Continues Fiddlement. “But that’s all I’ve thought of so far, still got a bunch to think about.” Tootoo shrugs. Eventually Hoola went back up, Tootoo continued to draw. Fiddlement and Tootoo kept on think of ideas of how to expand Delta’s storyline. At a point, the two decide to go upstairs. They were out of the polar night of light island, strange for Tootoo and Fiddlement. Hoola was above at the control center, driving the ship. “Hello!” She noticed the two. Tootoo waves. Hoola climbs down to talk with them. “What ya need?” She asks. “I dunno,” Tootoo responds. “Well, we got about 20 minutes left.”

“Alright!” Fiddlement looks off, watching at waves below. Hoola joins them, so does Tootoo. “It’s pretty, huh?” Fiddlement looks at both of them. “Yeah,” responds Hoola. “It’s pretty pretty,” laughs Tootoo. “I wonder what caused this,” wonders Fiddlement. “I hope to find out! Maybe there’s some magic put into this.” Theorizes Tootoo “Besides the mythicals, the pure magicals had some magic. But they’ve been long extinct. So I wonder if the mythicals had something to do with this.” Says Hoola. After talk for awhile, they spot it, “Is that the island?” Fiddlement tilts towards the dark teal island. Hoola takes out the map, “I believe so!” Tootoo was ready, what ever this mystery was, she was ready to solve it!

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

What to expect when you go in for top surgery.

Note that this is how it went for me specifically. I did my surgery through the Cleveland Clinic (main campus). If you want info on the Dr, PM me and I'll give you his info (highly recommend him). If you want info on how to get scheduled for top surgery/the recovery after the hospital/how I prepared for it just send an ask or PM me.

Without further ado, this is how it all went down for me the day of the surgery:

-arrive at hospital at 5am. Make sure you look up which building to go to before hand. Most places are big and kinda like a maze. Maps are your friends.

-wait in a long line to get all checked in then sit in the waiting area till you're called. I went with my mom. She held all my things for me. I wasn't allowed to take anything in with me.

-I went to a large room that had lots of beds all seperated by curtains. I was given a robe and a bag. I put all my clothes into the bag and put on the robe. Felt really weird cuz it opened in the back.

-had to pee in a cup too.

-once I was changed I sat on the bed and just relaxed. From there it was just a lot of waiting. They're gonna ask you you're name and date of birth more times then you can count. Every time they talk to you I swear.

-one nurse came in and gave me an IV in my hand. -10/10 review. I hated that IV. I didn't have any pain after my surgery except for the stupid IV. That thing felt like it was constantly pinching me and I couldn't do anything about it.

-no idea how long I sat there but it was really boring since I didn't have my phone. I wanna say it was between 30-60 minutes? They let my mom come in and talk to me a bit before it was time to wheel me away. They put me on a different bed and I got pushed through hallway after hallway after hallway. I wasn't kidding when I said this place was like a maze.

-sat outside the surgery room for a good long while too. Just laying in the bed. I was positioned at a wall and I just watched a janitor sweep for a while before they were finally ready for me.

-the operating room was bigger than I expected. Lots of stuff along the walls and a very skinny table in the center of the room. There were about 4 people in the room. The main Dr who I had all my prior appointments with introduced himself again and the everyone else in the room. One guy was the anesthesiologist who was in charge of making sure I was safe while they put me under. There was a student there who was there to watch and learn. She was very nice. And then an assistant I believe? I don't remember exactly.

-the Dr walked me through the surgery again, confirming everything we had discussed in my appointments. He also made some marks on my chest while I was sitting up to help him later when he needed to align stuff to make it look good. Asked if I had any questions.

-he asked if I was ready. I said yes. They put me under. I didn't feel the anesthetics. I kinda just... Blinked. And after that blink everyone was in a different spot and my chest felt tight. If you've ever worn a lifejacket that's nice and snug it was like that. I could breath fine, it was just tight.

-I couldn't really move right away with the exception of my head. I mostly just felt confused. Otherwise I was fine. The assistant asked how I felt and I said good. Then the Dr walked over and told me how everything went well. There was no issues. They asked if I had any questions again.

-the next part was kinda hard. I had to get back into the wheely bed so I could be moved. But you can't put up with your arms. So it was a weird sorta scoot over to from the table to the bed. Then I was wheeled away again.

-i went back to the large room with the curtains again where I was given shaved ice to eat. The said I'd have to wait there till they get an actual room open for me. I wasn't allowed to get out of the bed and the IV had to stay in till the next morning.

-at this point it was about 10am according to the clock in the room. I just sat there listening to all the monitors going. There were a lotta beds with a lotta noises. They had a blood pressure machine on my arm that would randomly squeeze to check my blood pressure throughout the day. I kinda just went in and outta sleep from there on.

-I wasn't in any pain. I was just very very very very tired. I talked to the nurses. After a while they gave me some crackers because it was taking a really long time to find me a room. I guess there was some sorta issue going on. It was only supposed to take a few hours but I ended up waiting till almost 5pm. Which really wasn't that bad since I was mostly just sleeping. It just sucked that I didn't have my phone.

-I also wasn't allowed to get up to use the restroom yet. I wasn't allowed up till I moved to an actual room. And I had to go really bad around 2pm. Ended up having to use on of those bed toilets. I had to pick my self up enough for them to slid it under me, and then move it afterwards. Not a fun experience, but not as terrible as you think.

-they finally secured the room and wheeled me away. Once in the room I had to do that weird scoot again to get onto the new bed. This bed had a remote that let me rise and lower it, along with a TV with cable. I had a little table that came over the bed so I could eat. It was very nice.

-my mom was finally allowed in and her, the nurse, and I all talked about what was next. I got a water bottle with straw to drink. And after that I was given applesauce. Since I successfully got all that down they let my mom go buy me some real food and I got to eat dinner.

-I had to spend the night at the hospital with my mom picking me up in the morning. If I needed to use the bathroom I had to call for a nurse. They'd help me get to the bathroom. I had to go in what was called a "hat." Which is basically just a plastic bowl they put in the toilet bowl to catch everything. They have to check your urine for stuff. It's just like using the bathroom normally you just don't flush.

-after a while my mom left to go home. I played on my phone and watched TV. The IV was the only thing that was frustrating. It hurt my hand and makes you have to pee a LOT. Expect to make lots of trips.

-in the morning the assistant and student came in to see how I was doing. They undid the bandages to make sure it was all good. Then redid it.

-I finally got the IV out of my hand!!!!

-my mom showed up and we got some paperwork.

-they put me in a wheelchair and I rode that to the car.

-went home for the rest of my recovery.

[i-am-beckyu]

Ok—

Tell me about:

Just out of reach, but never out of sight!!

What sorta ramble do you have for it?

:0000 you want me to ramble about my au? 🥹

Okay okay so I’ve had to take a break from writing atm because I’ve been so busy after the move it’s nuts so Jornos chapter 2 still needs a lil rewrite but we’ll get there. So real question now is what do I wanna share?

Okay so random headcanon. As it’s said Tommy is an orphan boi. His birth parents abandoned him were for two reasons.

They recognise something was wrong about Tommy and deem him different (just like everyone else) and

They’re outie borrowers and he’s extra dead weight.

They don’t know that where they leave him is near a colony tho and Imma say that they are eaten by a bird later ^v^ Tommy’s parents also weren’t sizeshifters themselves. One of their ancestors was and the gene skips every few generations.

Now you’ve probably notice I’m really playing into the borrower trope for this Au. I really like that whole: what’s this? And what’s that? Wait you use this for what? Scenes and I think it’s really funny! Tommy is constantly learning about new stuff. So when it is eventually revealed that he’s a size shifter, Tommy just explodes with question upon question about anything and everything he can think of.

It gets to the point that Techno gets Tommy a children’s book of objects to teach Tommy what things are (as well as improve his reading) and they’ll just sit in the living room playing like eye spy for Tommy to find out what things are called with his book.

This also ties in a bit in with family outings sbi go on. Because Tommys only ever really seen the world as gigantic for most of his life, he’s absolutely shocked to see just how big the world is! He’s shown a map of the world and finds it very difficult to comprehend just how big it is. Wilbur loves explaining stuff like that to him and will take him out all the time! He takes him to the Zoo a lot to show him the animals! He adores seeing his baby brothers face light up upon seeing every animal. Although he thinks it’s funny when Tommy dubs every animal Clementine…

Cooking with Phil though is an absolute favourite for Tommy. For a long time he wouldn’t eat very much because he didn’t want to be a nuisance and was stuck in the borrower mentality of take what you need, (which was like nothing in Tommys mind) but when Phil got him to settle down and eat properly, he wanted to learn how to cook too! Baking cookies is def his fav recipe to make. Not for the sugar rush or anything tho….

Yeah so these are kinda just post reveal headcanon so because idk what to share on the actual story without giving it away but hope you liked em! Thanks for asking and have some lollipops to show my appreciation 🍭🍭🍭🍭

[colorguardsweetheartblurrsgirl]

Hey...Been a while (My Bad)

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Holidays everyone!!! I know I'm late to the party, life's been kinda CRAZY BUSY Drama and stuff happened. Didn't have time to breath. I did want to post art for the Holidays, art I originally planned for last year. Didn't work out, Wil make eventually, as I love the plan still I set out to make last year and want to still create it. But some new stuff in life that effects schedule was new to me and the exhaustion it brought I wasn't used to. Things seem a bit better so I'm hoping to get back in the swing of it. Starting classes for a month soon so I will have a little less chaos and more time to work on art and stuff hopefully when that happens. (We'll see, prayers all the same)

So, been working on 1st Few chapters, cleaning up. Wanted to know for if you guys wanted me to post favorite lines on occasion. I know I've talked about it before... But maybe set a schedule of every other week or something to share. Like maybe share first lines? Let me know! #stry

~~~

In the meantime, while art has been slower, I have still been working on story bits (so much so I've had days I've tired myself out and wanted to work on other things. But I still have the drive for it. I just give myself occasional break cause you know you don't want something to be a chore when creating. It was more working on some chapters technical stuff which was the chore as it sometimes is. Seems more so when you have it pretty set in stone but have to fix little things that are annoying). I've also been dreadfully stretching out writing out the full outline, I have a form of it in my document (and a terribly built early version from the early days of this fix revolving around the first several chapters events).... However, due to having it fully thought out now I'm at the point I'm hammering nearly 24/7 in my head that while I want to work on art or more story writing I need to sit down and do this. As a visual and do it learner I know for me I need to more so get several printed paper laid out and write in order the outline (not timeline, but that to eventually I've got a very old draft from the early days of the timeline as well. But I need to work on that after too)... So yeah... Just something I'm procrastinating on that despite having the Outline fully or "mostly" fully embodied for the 3-6 books (with all that happens in books 3 or what likely is 5 & 6 I realize it could end up becoming 7 books, but I'm trying to not say that just yet)... But yeah, i have the main things figured out and mostly all events of Book 1 & 2 (most likely it will be Books 1-4 figured out) all the major events have long been in stone for all the books it's just the puzzle pieces of where certain things go and the figuring out battles that is the main thing of the later books not fully visualized ubt story beats are already in stone for the later ends I just realize some may be added to help flesh things out in the later books. Yeah, some reason the one piece of this story that's a chore is getting myself to sit down and do the outline, money isn't a issue at the moment. Though i have some house work that is why some things have been stalled. It's just one of those funny bits I can't get myself to do, despite creating continually for it...

So yeah, really part of me stalling has been trying to get myself to sit down and do what I need to do as a writer instead of relying on the road map in my head (cause I don't want to mess up). That said, lately due to a family member who has connections wanting to read the first few chapters. I've been really working on getting the first five chapters and the Overture (I decided due to length and as it fit better for the story the Prologue is more called the Overture) as I make many references to songs and other reasons. Just like the epilogue (which I long have written and last year I reworked and rewrote, I told my mom what the epilogue entails without reading it to her, as she doesn't want to read any of it till it's created my parents and larger family have been heavily supportive including my friends of me finally setting out to write my first original series... But she literally cried when I told her the ending and the epilogue which I call Before Curtain Bows (and something else that is a stage reference, i grew up on the stage so it's kinda fits to call these such for me and how the story is titled literally spelling out story I kinda pay homage to how they used to be told as if on stage).

Anyways, I know I said I wouldn't do any more long updates. BUt I felt since it's been a while I would. I hope to post more art stuff soon. Unrelated to what I was working on for a while (also to my friend waiting for the birthday gift, I decided to hold it till this birthday so you'll see it in a few months which allows me to work on it a bit more along with other things since it became slightly bigger then I expected it to be while working on it on and off).

Also with the "Recent Business" in my life, it kinda recently inspired me to make just a short, non scheduled Henry Stickmin Collection short random comic with the characters of THSC in a similar place and shenanigans inspired by my experiences in said place. I'll give you more info in the Update 0.5 comic I hope to post and get finished soon. Like I said was to busy to work on anything. But hope to get some of this up soon. I also have a update to my last post where I outlined it and added more details so I'll be posting that (I wanted to see if I can use my scanner but that rooms blocked off by boxes right now gotta figure out a way to navigate it to do so).

Anyways, that's all from me on updates....

Here's a sketch from the 0.5 Update to prove I'm doing stuff other then technical stuff on the novel portion.

THIS WILL BE DIGITILIZED LATER... just rough sketch dump from back when I made this little idea.

[felikatze]

ok wait sitting on the arval stuff more (three hopes spoilers riu dni)

also i havent done the arval paralogue bcuz like. on god i'm not replaying this game rn cuz i will get burnout so bad

also this was the recruit byleth route on azure gleam so. again i am NOT replaying immediatly because i like the game but i also like myself.

ok ok so i think arval eventually betraying shez was set up really well actually.

the game does a good slowburn job of setting up that at some point shez just doesn't care abt defeating byleth anymore.

shez and arval initially are united in purpose, partners in destiny, but when shez joins one of the houses and becomes an important commander in a war, their personal revenge starts appearing insignificant to them and is eventually outweighed by their newfound trust and love for their friends.

additionally as they realize the connection arval and their power holds to those who slither in the dark, they grow afraid of their own power. the power they got from arval.

in azure gleam (and other routes similarly, probably) their fear grows so intense after unveiling how much tragedy those who slither brought into their friends' lives that they ask dimitri to strike them down should they ever turn their blade against their friends.

and, yknow, shez themself wouldnt just kill their friends willy-nilly. "if i ever turn my blade on you" actually means "if arval ever turns my blade on you." by making this request they acknowledge the possibility arval would do this.

whereas shez's drive for revenge fades, arval's only intensifies. arval's wrath drives a further wedge between them and shez, who starts to feel horror at arval's intent.

arval likely regained some degree of their memory when byleth went sothis mode, as seen by how fucking mad they got even before truly becoming epimenides again.

so like yeah this plot development was well-foreshadowed. and i think the map where you fight shez slaps. absolutely banger moment.

howeverrrrr. after that. i can accept epimenides banishing the three lords to the shadow realm as a cost-cutting measure because every route needs to resolve the arval plot and it would be hard to justify doing it differently three times so whatever. have a convergence point i dont care.

BUT. arval accepts becoming epimenides as their destiny. "i was always meant to become you," they say. but like? shez doesn't? shez never seems to acknowledge that the arval they know is gone. this is why i expected arval to show up again! bcuz. shez doesnr accept that they are the one who killed arval.

throughout the endgame they will still occasionally reference arval as their friend and like. pretend talk to arval in a more "if you could see me now" type of way but

epimenides makes it pretty clear that they (epimenides refers to themself as a man so did arval legit just forget their own gender? arval has so much transgender swag) don't really value shez and them calling shez their partner in destiny just felt like mockery to be honest. like oh you're not doing what i want so i'm gonna take over your body against your will you peon fuck you. that's the vibe on epimenides.

and then you gotta ask yourself how much arval actually valued shez for them to just become epimenides without a fight? without hesitation? cuz yknow typically in stories like this the power of friendship will snap whoever out of it which is what happens to shez but not to arval. arval just accepts what they've become and they die for it. the end. fin.

again!!! arval accepts this!! shez doesn't! it's such a weird dissonance. ig it's kinda subversive that power of friendship doesn't actually save arval but it still feels like a rugpull.

also suuuuper bad taste in my mouth from the azure gleam ending where like. thales and epimenides and all those slither guys talk about purifying the world from beasts right? reclaiming their rightful home above the surface by killing sothis? and at the end rhea says that she will purify the land by killing those who slither in the dark.

so it's like. both sides r the same. and the implication that sothis is the one who banished the agarthans to shamballah or wherever to let humans live in fodlan instead is. eh. everyone is the hero of their own story ig.

maybe i just dont know enough abt fe3h deeplore (<- has only played blue lions routes bcuz replaying academy phase gave him burnout and he hasnt picked three houses up since)

anyway this is just my experience. and my opinion

tldr: tho arval's betrayal is set-up really good and the first half of it is epic the actual fight against epimenides feels lacking because of how differently shez and arval feel about the situation with no attempt by the narrative to reconcile this dissonance.

[wintergrew]

you are an absolute God at worldbuilding. Share us your tips !! <3

Omg I definitely don't know about that, but thank you so much for the compliment 😭

I presume you are referring to my SoT stuff, in which case.....

To start, I based it heavily off of the European Middle Ages. With HUGE liberties because it's still a fantasy world, but I am a history nerd and my background is political science, so I was really interested in grounding it in that, culturally and politically. The Thief and Mage are very political because... I'm very political

Before I started writing (though largely out of pure interest), I watched countless hours of YouTube documentaries I could find, watched more informational videos on things like historical fashion (which i already did, but specific that era), read A Brief History of Life in the Middle Ages by Martyn Whittock, and listened to three The Great Courses lectures on The Early/High/Late Middle Ages by Philip Daileader.

A lot of it was for fun because I'm a nerd, but I picked and chose what I wanted for my version of Zaron. Keep the concept of serfdom in farming, the village and city structures, and random daily life things. Take inspiration but change things like the way feudalist structures and manors work. Cut Christianity (or blatant equivalent like in Dragon Age) and therefore a lot of the church and religious orders that were a huge, huge aspect of the era.

Research also had me stumble upon the year 536. That alone greatly shaped the landscape and setting of The Mage.

Kupa is mostly inspired by Great Britain. However places like Neunbruck are aesthetically me stealing from the Bavarian/Swiss Alps aesthetic (and not necessarily middle ages) while the Southern Kingdom is basically Malta because...I think both of them are really pretty. Aesthetically, the Dark Kingdom takes from Romania and Iceland. It's more aesthetic than me doing deep research though. Like, literally just "damn this small island county is gorgeous, I need it for my story" and working around that. I also did some (but admittedly far less) research into Celts (especially the Picts) and Germanic Tribes of Antiquity for Barbarians.

The game KOTOR was a big inspiration, and by extension as is all of Star Wars. I looked up how to write magic systems and saw a lot of advice on avoiding "soft" magic systems...but did a soft magic system anyway. Admittedly, I should have had stricter rules and guidelines on how magic can be used and it probably is one of the weaker/inconsistent aspects where I was basically was just "it's like the Force". Recent chapters hopefully show why I went that vague route but....Either way, I wish I did make myself a formal guide to magic at the start, so maybe don't be like me and please do that.

I realize now after writing this I've mostly talked on and on about myself and this might not be helpful at all. But i guess a takeaway is:

Do research! You don't have to use everything, but it can really be huge inspiration. If you're writing space scifi, watch space documentaries. If you're writing about the 19th century, look up various fiction and nonfiction about the era. Research the history of and consume media about vampires/werewolves/whatever you're focusing on. You don't have to be as insane as me, though.

Other unrelated media also helps. Songs/Playlists, franchises, art, stories you like. Read and consume as much as you can and absorb what you like.

A lot of it is subconscious daydreaming to me. So listening to stuff in the background I'm kinda just "oh wouldn't it be cool if xx?" instead of sitting down and intentionally mapping things out before i have an idea. Story bibles and outlines help after to organize my thoughts, but I don't force myself to stick to them 100%. I had the central story and plot points to The Assassin long before I had the whole second act of The Mage figured out.

Not sure if this is helpful and it might actually showcase how messy my worldbuilding truly is fhghhh but thanks again

[a-pink-beau]

FFXIV Write 2024 #11 - Surrogate

Summary: Little ten year old Beau learns about the world outside Ul'dah.

Content Warnings: None

Spoilers: None. set pre-ARR

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Note: This is basically a sequel to Prompt #2: Horizon, so reading that will fill you in on stuff happening here]

“Mhm! And then it sets in the…”

“West?” Beau unconfidently answers. “Yup!” Anna says with a cheer and a nod. They look down at the map laid out over both of their laps. Anna places a finger on a symbol on the map that looks strange to Beau. “And this here, is called a compass- well there are two kinds of compass, the one on maps, and then a different thing that adventures hold. But they both do the same thing; they show you which way is north.” She slides her finger to the marker on the compass indicating North. Beau tilts her head.

“But doesn’t the sun already do that? Why do you need a compass?” Anna takes a moment to prepare her response. She was still getting used to being a teacher.

“Because using the sun for direction can be hard sometimes. Like when you're in a forest as thick as the ones in Gridania, or when it’s directly above you, or when it’s night.” Beau makes a face.

“People explore when it’s night outside? That sounds scary. How do they see?”

“Yup. I mean- your first time exploring was at night, wasn’t it?” Anna says with a smile.

“Oh, right. I guess, yeah.”

“And how did you see then?” Anna quizzes. Beau tilts her head again.

“I… I don’t know. I just could.” Beau sulks, having failed to answer one of Anna’s questions.

“The moon, Ar’beunti. The moon was full that night,” Anna remanises, thinking back to that night a couple months ago.

“The moon makes light? I thought it just glowed.”

“Mhm! Well- kinda. And it does it some nights better than others though.” Beau puts a hand to her chin as she thinks.

“Does the moon rise from the…www” Beau looks to Anna to see if she’s on the right track. Anna tilts her head as if to suggest to change course. “www- East like the sun?”

“I don’t think so. The moon does its own thing.”

“Then how do people get around when the sun isn’t there? And when they don’t have a compass?”

“I think sailors use the stars.”

“The stars? But there are so many of them!”

“Yep! It’s because there are so many that people can use them- kinda like this map!” Anna gives the map a little shake. “The stars don’t move like the sun and moon, so people remember where certain ones are and that tells them which way to go.”

“Stars are hard to see though, wouldn’t sailors make mistakes?” Anna's mouth smiles, but her eyes are sad. Happy to be here to teach Beau, sad that there was this much Beau didn’t know of the outside world.

“The stars are much easier to see when you’re not in a city.”

“How does that make sense? It’s easier to see things when it’s light out.” Beau says, frustrated. Anna sets a hand on Beau’s. Beau knows now that when Anna does that, she’s doing something she shouldn’t, but it was hard to tell at times what she was doing that was wrong. Beau guesses it’s because she’s raising her voice? Beau takes a deep breath. 

“It’s because of the light the stars are hard to see. They are easier to see when it’s dark out. Kinda like a campfire is easier to see in the dark.”

“A…campfire?” Beau asks. Anna fails to hide the surprise in her face for that one. Beau turns her face away, embarrassed. Anna lets out an empathetic sigh, then regains her composure. She rolls up the map and sets it aside. She stands up and offers Beau a hand, Beau stands up with her. Together they hop up on the ledge they’d been sitting on and look through the window into Beau’s home. Anna points to the stove.

“That stove is kinda like a fancy campfire. Have you seen the inside of it when your momma is cooking something?”

“Mmm… kinda. Only for a moment or so. She puts wood in there sometimes.”

“Yeah! A campfire is the inside of the stove, only… without the stove… part.” Anna scrunches her face as reviews that last sentence. “Adventures will make campfires at night to cook their food, boil their water, or just to be warm.”

“Campfire does all of that without the stove part?” The utility of such a thing sounded like magic to Beau.

“Mhm! There are lots of different ways to make a campfire too. And depending where you are in the world, it can be harder or easier.”

“What places are harder?” Beau asks.

“Oh, here, let me show you!” The girls sit back down on the ledge and Anna picks up the map.

“Um… Anna?” Anna pauses, map in hand.

“Yeah, Beau?” Beau fidgets with her fingers a moment as she works up the courage.

“Could I open the map this time?” Anna blinks as she takes in Beau’s words.

“Of course!” She hands the map over to Beau. “You gotta be gentle with it though. Maps can rip easy and are expensive! And this one is my papa’s.”

“Oh-okay.” Beau takes a deep breath as she slowly unrolls the map and lays it back across both of their laps. Beau looks to Anna for approval. Anna nods her head with a smile.

“You did it!” Beau fights a losing battle to keep a smile from growing onto her face. Anna smiles at seeing Beau smile. She turns her eyes to the map and starts to scan it. “Here we are. That’s Thanalan. It’s really dry here, so campfires are easy most of the time. The hard part can be finding the wood for the fire.”

“I thought we were in Ul’dah?” Beau tilts her head again.

“We’re in Ul’dah, and Ul’dah is in Thanalan.” Anna replies. Beau scratches her head. Anna slides her finger up and to the right. “And here is the Black Shroud, and inside the Black Shroud is Gridania. It’s another city, like Ul’dah, but different. Here wood is really easy to find, but it’s harder to burn it a lot of the time because it can be very wet, or the wood is too healthy.” Beau places a finger on the lettering for the strange new city.

“How is Grii-daaan-ia like Ul’dah but not like Ul’dah?” Beau has lost interest in campfires.

“Um… It’s big like Ul’dah, has lots of people like Ul’dah, but the walls aren’t as big, and it’s a lot more green than Ul’dah.”

“It has smaller walls? Do bad things get inside more?”

“I don’t think so. I think my papa says Gridania has other ways of being safe.”

“Have you not been there?”

“No. But my papa has.”

“Your papa has been to lots of places, hasn't he?”

“Mhm! One day when I'm older he says I can go with him!”

“Wow… wish my dad would let me go with him..”

“Your dad just goes to the mines though, right?”

“Yeah, but it's better than nothing.”

There is silence between the two of them. Anna watches Beau look around the map, squinting her eyes.

“...Any chance you might be able to sneak out again?” Anna asks.

“No, they make me sleep in their bed now. They're worried someone will ‘break in’ again to take me.” Beau says solemnly, not looking away from the map. 

“That's what they think happened?”

“Yeah… even if I told them what really happened I don’t think they’d believe me… that I chose to sneak out… that I can choose to do something on my own…” Beau's eyes start to look tired, as though they were much older than they are.

“But you're a person.” Anna looks to where Beau's finger is on the map, only to find it's pointing somewhere random, as though Beau isn't truly paying attention to the map anymore.

“Yeah…and I think that's scary to them…”

“...Beau?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you wanna hug?”

“Why?” Anna takes in all she’s learned of Beau over the last few months, and recognises that this is a genuine question, not her being dismissive.”

“To help you feel better?”

“Oh… okay.”

Anna wraps her arms around Beau. Sandwiching the map between them. Beau carefully puts her arms around Anna. Anna squeezes her tight.

“Anna, you're gonna wrinkle the map,” Beau warns.

“This is more important.” Anna squeezes all the tighter. Beau feels Anna’s arms around her. This feels nice, nicer than her mom or dad's hugs. 

Beau rests her head on Anna’s.

Huh, is this what it's supposed to feel like?

[firefromthegodspro]

Final Game Jam Dev Log: It seems we have reached... an end

Greetings, greetings, fair Tumblr. Tis I, local crackpot wizard Fire. It's currently 2:30 in the morning, and as I type this part of the post, Messier Mystes' prototype is uploading to Itch.io for submission into the Jam!

It's admittedly not... great, I did run out of time to get it to a point I wanted. But it is at the very least functional. Lacking cutscenes, balance, and quality. But functional.

Safe to say, this is the farthest I've gotten on a creative project not meant for a class, so I'm both relieved I managed to finish something (I am literally that one Jimmy Neutron villain IRL), and disappointed I couldn't even polish the vertical slice I made.

So before we talk about the bad, let's talk about the good!

I've literally never made a game before, so just the fact I did this is an accomplishment to me. Like genuinely. I was given RPG Maker MV in high school as a gift, and I've never been able to sit down and release something playable, so this was insanely satisfying! Even if I don't win anything or I get bad reviews, I'm just happy to be here.

Additionally, as scuffed as my Timetable system is, the fact I managed to make a semi-functional one abusing If/Else statements, Common Events, and Variables makes me proud. I problem solved, and while it is basic I think it's somewhat creative for my first foray into the engine.

Now onto the "what I'm disappointed about" section.

I am extremely disappointed that I didn't budget my time well at all. I really should've either chosen a smaller scope, or focused hard on a vertical slice, but I didn't manage to. It led to me cutting a lot of corners in the final hour, and I'm unhappy with it. It kinda sucks to me I didn't manage to even implement music or cutscenes properly, but its whatever.

Enjoy this Rouxls Kaard gif as a line break.

SO! What are my plans for the future?

Well, near future, I'm taking a couple days and binging both FGO and Tsukihime. I managed to NP2 Arc on the Anniversary banner, so I feel obligated to consume her route in the VN as quickly as possible. I haven't exactly been only game devving, but I do wanna take a couple days and let my creative juices refill.

I'm bone dry, man!

Secondly, in the slightly less-near future, I need to focus on my novel. I've let Quest for the Sacred Sword fall by the wayside, and I wanna get more progress put into that before I hop back onto Messier.

But never fear! My middling Dev Blogs and game development talents will return.

In terms of what's in store for the future, obviously things like adding cutscenes... adding the Social Link-type mechanic, and all of that is on the docket. But I also need to redesign my dungeons to meet my initial vision for them. Additionally, while I might stick with the ad hoc bootleg Timekeeping system, I definitely want to refine it a bit more if I don't outright replace it.

I also need to seriously overhaul my spell list. I have a perfectly fine basic outline, but as I implemented it I realized I forgot to focus on where the spells would fall in the level tree...

Yeah, again, I've never really done this before.

So revamping that is a must.

I also need to improve my map designs. I have some pretty basic ones, but improvements can always be made, and I want to make them.

That all being said, I'll still be posting here, just not Game Dev stuff. Probably more random thoughts, novel updates, or random garbage essays I come up with about my hyper fixations. The Wordpress (with a total of 1 post) is going to go silent for now, and will return when important updates exist. I'm still going to be working on Messier slowly in the background, but I won't really talk about it until I have something significant to show off.

Whelp, as of this line its just shy of 2:50 and I have to be up at 8 for work. The game's uploaded and submitted by now, so I'm going to go crash.

Walking the path of heaven to rule over everything.

-Fire

[2dkapsddr]

March 27th, 2024 - Arcaea, SDVX EG, CHUNITHM, DDR A3, IIDX 31

GOOD MORNING!! back with some more early morning arcaea, where i grinded for a bit and finally unlocked Aleph-0!

i still had a bunch of stamina after that (as you can see in the top left corner of the image above), so i continued the map to try and get that last warped shard. i focused on uppers to maximize my steps as well, and BOY HOWDY were they insane!! i should've toggled my PTT back on since i can't lose it unless i get an AA or below anyways, but yeah look at all this stuff!!! an EX+ on Ikazuchi and eden FTR-10, then an EX and immediately following it up with an EX+ on GENOCIDER FTR-10+, and then a slight upscore on XTREME FTR-10!

today i went thrifting with my mom to find an outfit for my toya cosplay for sakuracon, so conversely i took a break from arcaea (kinda) while i looked for clothes and compiled my outfit. on the initial way there however, i jconsumed a bit of stamina and got a sightread full recall on Aleph-0 FTR-10! my first 10 FR (somehow)! as well as a PM on Maze No.9 FTR-8+ :]

after we finished thrifting and got pretty much everything for the outfit, i got dropped off to eat and then GAME at round 1!!! continued to practice and hone my at SDVX (not really, i'm kinda just hyperfocused on getting coral VF right now), and so with it kinda came a few upscores! (i really need to learn how to warm up in these games...)

i went over to grind iidx as well for the event, but i also found an abandoned credit of chunithm and decided to get some extra training on it by picking World Vanquisher... which i felt i did really bad at, but still got an S rank somehow...

after that, i went to play iidx for real this time and... kinda also sucked at it! at this point, i really wasn't satisfied with my skill and felt like giving up. urgh... fortunately though, braving through this feeling and continuing to play despite it allows me to reach that potential i felt was missing!

switched over to play the last of the triple tribe games, and surprisingly the last one i needed for the last event song... DDR!!! i didn't take many score photos as there were many i wanted to run back and was mostly on a quest to reclaim my 15 and 16 clear lamps (which I did!), but i got this sick first try FC on Euphoric Fragmentation!!!

took a break to let others play a few sets while i grinded an arcaea map, and i eventually was forced by the map's restriction to get a PM on felys (final remix) FTR-9!!!! ...with barely any audio besides the tapping of my thumbs!!

after that, i went right back to DDR to finish the job and get that last set in for the triple tribe event, which -- turns out the set with the Euphoric Fragmentation FC did it -- and i finally got Ambivalent Vermilia!!! very fun but extremely exhausting charts on both Difficult and Expert hellyeah!! that's not the point of this next image though, which is actually focused on the extra/galaxy stage i'm about to show off... an FC on BLUE FOG, SILVER BULLET EDP-15!!! MY FIRST EVER DOUBLES FC!!! UPSCORED FROM A FAIL ON FLARE V!!!

one last ddr score cutoff to mention this really funny coincidence at round 1. so you know how i was playing SDVX earlier as if everything was normal? well, everything was still very much normal. except, in the time that i played, something weird changed with the sdvx cab. or should i say... CABS!!! i was sitting down and taking my public-arcade-mandated break from DDR when i looked over to the right at the SDVX cab to see how it was doing. i think i wanted to play a set maybe? i forgot, but what i saw wasn't someone playing on the cab. it wasn't even the cab staying on and playing its attract screen!

no, what i saw was one cab with a black, offline screen and, to my shock and surprise, ANOTHER CAB NEXT TO IT. this cab with its wooden panel for a screen was being worked on by several team mechanics as they moved everything around to make way for it. but no joke i thought i was hallucinating from my exhaustion when i saw it. unbelievable, it finally happened...

i tried waiting around for the cab to come online, but the card reader wasn't working for some reason so it was only the first cab that came back online and got played. regardless, i finally met a ddr local again for the first time in a while and played a few awesome sets with her, even getting a new 14 PFC from the new touhou pack!!! (as well as trying the inhuman challenge charts that came with the back, how the hell does o4ma have 6p on trance dance anarchy???)

whew, this post took forever to write, but it's over now thankfully!! for March 28th (today, as of when i'm writing this), it'll mostly be arcaea and proseka, but tomorrow is a huge day... as i'm finally going to Sakuracon in my thrifted Toya cosplay and playing ALL THE RHYTHM GAMES I CAN FIND!!! WOOOOO!!! Until then, see you next time on the dance floor!!

[cryptidfuckery]

the problem w writing is that i have to keep so much of it inside my me so that i can stay focused and motivated

the other problem with writing is that all i wanna fucking do it rant about my ideas

[emsylcatac]

This may seem random but I’m honestly curious how the Dupain-Cheng apartment is planned. I’m not knowledgeable about French apartments, all I know is the basic and famous architectures there. So there’s 3 floors (bakery, possibly the parents’ room, living/kitchen/dining/possibly t&b) and an attic with a balcony? I’m asking for reference because I’m confused and everything in the MLB universe is kinda exaggerated when it comes to scale. TY 🙏

Heeeyaaa!! Sorry this has been sitting here for a whiiiile because I knew it would take a lot of time for me to answer, so I've been working on it bits by bits when I could.

But somehow it seems pretty much of an issue on tumblr today so anyway let's finish to break it down now 😂 (beware that I'm not a Parisian architect so it's a lot of deductions from what I know about Parisian apartments in general and personal researches, I could be wrong in my interpretation & analysis of it)

So as you're saying, there are three floors including the attic, plus the ground floor (side-note btw but sorry it may seem confusing but I'm talking using UK English, meaning what Americans call "first floor" is "ground floor" in UK Eng, so the "second floor" for Americans is the "first floor" here, etc. It's easier for me cause that's what we do in my language too; I'll also use both the 'flat' and 'apartment' appellations cause I'm lazy and never pay attention to which one I use rip, language coherence has left the window, my old English teacher wouldn't be proud)

It's pretty common for bakers to live above their bakery in France, though not all do.

By the way, for your information, the Dupain-Cheng Bakery which here is situated in Place des Vosges, was heavily inspired by the Boris Lumé Boulangerie that is located in the 18e arrondissement, in Montmartre:

Also for your information, this is what the bakery they got their inspiration from looks like (I took a trip there with my friend google map and tried to screenshot the whole building - it's bigger than the Dupain Cheng's house since it has more floors and I doubt the bakers live in it all, but I wanted to check how far their inspiration went but it seemed it stopped at the shopfront + the global looking-aspect of the building; I also checked the roof and no balcony there). But yeah the building looks very typical-Parisian block of flats.

It's pretty common in Paris to have one or more flats per floor, so you'd have a common staircase in a building and each floor can be split into two, three flats with doors and doorbells and stuffs.

What always struck me was the staircase of the Dupain Cheng's house to access the different floors: they look exactly like a common and shared staircase between a few residents of a flats block. We see a blue staircase with doors on each floor having doorbells and such. There's even a little stickers above the doorbell to indicate the name of the flat's resident.

My best guess here is that they own what used to be a block of flats with different residents, and that they reorganised it into one same house (the Dupain-Cheng, or the people who owned the bakery before them, or even before, etc. The point is that at some point, these apartments have been converted into one and the same so the owner of the bakery owns it all).

(undercut for the rest cause it's starting to get long):

Know that flats in Paris can have very different size, even in one same block of flats! Some can be 12m^2, some 30m^2, etc.

In Troublemaker, Marinette tells Jagged that the restroom is upstairs. Which considering the arrangement of their house is super vague and not informative at all. We also know that there are two doors with bells on the 1st floor (2nd for Americans). So my guess is that on the first floor, one flat was converted into the parents' room, and the other into the bathroom (for which you'd need to use a different door than the parents' room one, and as I said above, that could be smaller than the room for the parents' bedroom).

(Not the best screenshot but yeah we see 2 doors from what were 2 different flats in this, and that could easily be for the parents's bedroom and for the bathroom, one or the other. It's also possible that the parents have their private bathroom too).

We know they come inside the house from the bakery, though there could be a side-door somewhere because when the bakery is closed it'd make sense to use another entrance, and if they want to go to the living-room & kitchen (which we know is on the 2nd floor - 3rd for you Americans - thanks to episodes like Weredad and such), they will ring that bell (as we saw happening in Stormy Weather, Kung Food, Weredad, etc.).

This 2nd floor is organised as such, according to the concept art I found here:

So you have both the kitchen and the living room in one place which is something that is done more and more nowadays as an "open space" type of thing. Their table to eat - they can't have a big feast there clearly aha. The main entrance door is behind the couch, from the point of view we're in on the 2nd picture. And we can see the stairs leading to Marinette's bedroom, which do look like they've been added afterwards as a reorganisation.

Marinette's room clearly is in the attic arranged into a room, and her balcony probably wasn't one but I think some work happened so it could be converted into one - just the fact that she has to go out through a window indicates that imo. Especially since said window is pretty high up and you can only access it thanks to the fact that they made a mezzanine for Marinette's bed. Plus I've looked it up and you don't find these kind of balconies much in Paris - there are roof balconies but they rarely look like Marinette's.

Again, picture of her room that give a good idea of how it's organised that I found here on which we see the trapdoor, the desk under her mezzanine for her bed and the window giving access to the balcony:

(notice that she also has a sink, which give an access point to water which isn't common in a bedroom - so it probably used to be something else before that required an access for water, like a bathroom for instance).

We don't see the little bed with umbrella from here but it's where we're situated when looking at this picture. I found also good models of her room here if you want to have a look.

As for the balcony, here it is:

So yeah the fact that it's above the attic next to the chimneys + the uneasy access is what's making me wondering if it wasn't added afterwards, and that before the roof was kinda looking like the one next to it separated by the chimneys!

Here I'm done haha, I hope I answered what you were looking for as best as I could! 😊 again I don't pretend to know the exact truth of how it's done but this breakdown seems logical to me - at least I'm pretty sure of an old apartment block converted into one same house!

Have a nice day! ☀︎

[dourpeep]

i have even more ideas now...

what about like the moment you open up about your relationship with kazuxiao the fans who were already seeing that happen were celebrating and on both of y'alls insta or something is where you announce and it's like a picture of all 3 of you chilling together or something

and then when they finally appear on a variety show they're just questioned throughly and they talk about how you guys meet and what they like about you

ok but the moments where you just feel sort of insecure since being an idol is hard and you're technically dating your seniors and you're just hit by the antis who are against yourself relationship so you lock yourself in your room in your dorm by yourself to cope. your roommate (can be whoever) contacts them both and they immediately come over and come in and offer soft kisses and soft murmurs of reassurance that they'll never leave you and that everything's gonna be ok.

side note i can see xiao just being a whole meme without realizing?? for like variety shows he's just known for his dead pan expression and then i can see him being so competitive on shows like running man..mans ripping tags left and right, while kazuhas just hiding in a weird spot or something

kazuha on the other hand i can see him being a troll, he likes to mess around with the hosts of the show and manages to mess up some of their plans, he also likes messing with his group members, where xiao likes to say that kazuha looks innocent but is a part of the devil line with venti

onto albedo i can see him like answering questions in his vlive and fans realize that a lot of his songs are more romantic and sort of pining?? and they're asking where the motivation is from. he answers that it's just something that he saw recently so he felt motivated (it wasn't the fact that he had realized that he was 100% in love with you)

but like all of this mans inspiration comes from you, he's had multiple songs dedicated to you before your relationship was even open to the public, and when your relationship finally does, it just clicks for fans and it suddenly makes sense, your ship name trends worldwide for the day

but how you and albedo met, i can see both of you guys being in the industry already and you guys are sort of know each other but it was for a one time off collab with other artists involved so you didn't really talk with each other. like i said before albedos a solo artist while i can see you being a part of a popular group already. but then both of your companies decided to do another collab and especially picked you two since you guys already worked on a collab before.

at first it was like awkward since albedos really socially awkward but then things click when you guys start writing the song together. everything just matches so well?? and you guys just compliment each other?? and that's when you learn of albedo just staying at the studio so late so you often bring food. this leads to you guys getting closer and albedo even stops his work just to talk to you more. when your song comes out and everyone is waiting for the stage, there's just so much tension?? but the good kinda and everyone is awed by the song and the vocals coming from you and albedo.

i can also see the both of you guys appearing on variety shows together too, like appearing on a show where you two travel to another place and experience the culture there, with albedo being your tour guide and showing you all the famous places (one of the many times where fans were awed by his research and knowledge) and then if you guys were to appear together again after you guys reveal your relationship, a lot of the times they show idols as they wake up, they'll see you and albedo being clingy af to each other.

on another side note, albedos totally a troll on variety shows, he likes messing around with the hosts and other contestants since a lot of the time he's not really interested in the show itself, it's more for publicity. however, when he first appeared on a show with you fans noticed that he actually seemed interested for once and that's where your ship name started.

albedos totally a golden child tho, he's like basically perfect in everything so a lot of the times variety shows don't catch him slipping, however the one time that he did was when you were mentioned, the clip of with his ears bright red was trending for a couple of days :)

GIVING ME SO MUCH GOOD FOOD THANK YOU ANON

I think that this covers everything hehehe so I won't add to-

wait wait I put it all under the cut b/c it's a lot again-

Okay okay but like for the 'announcement' picture, what if it's like those photo booth pics (but like each picture you need to scroll through like on Insta) where it's cute and wholesome! The three of you are having fun wearing some silly glasses or hats, doing peace signs or finger hearts....and the very last photo is the three of you sharing a kiss- or, at least trying to.

It's sweet, a little silly, and most of your fans take it really well! After all, they can see the chemistry that you share and can't deny that the three of you would have a good relationship.

As for the insecurities of dating your seniors, Kazuha and Xiao are quick to knock back any of those worries. They love you so, so much and hate the fact that something like that makes you doubt for a single second. If anyone ever tries to bring it up, you know that they're going to immediately quip back.

Naturally, you're roomed with Venven :D He's technically an up-and-coming after he stopped doing idol stuff for a few years, so not only does he know the ropes, but he's also one of your biggest fans and biggest supports (outside of Kazuha and Xiao).

Though he's silly and light-hearted, he's quick to recognize when things are serious and need handling.

So as soon as he sees that you're not doing so great or if he notices the comments on your posts are going in a bad direction, he speed dials Xiao and the two of your boyfriends are right at the door in under 15.

Not only are they fast about it, but they have all your favorite snacks, a movie or two, some popcorn, and a ton of love and affection because they'll be damned if their love is going to be affected by some asshole's comments about their love life! What do they know anyway??

Actually this all could work too if Kazuha and Xiao are part of 4NEMO-

Hmmm

That'd cause so much more ruckus- not only is half of one of the most popular idol groups are taken, but by the same person??? And each other??? Man, that's wack.

BUT THE GAMESHOWS

Xiao would most certainly be super intense with those. He just can't help it--competition drives his blood and makes something snap in him. He's dead serious about doing well, regardless of the game. I actually have never watched said game shows, but--

Like...he's out for blood. No one is safe. Not even you or Kazuha if you're on opposing teams, though he'll be a bit more gentle. Maybe even with the hint of a smile while you have an expression of utter shock at the fact that he's just so fast-

Or if it's not a game show and instead you're doing some sort of idol group activity with a few others to get to know each other?

Someone suggests ping pong and, knowing how competitive Xiao gets, he's pitted up against Tartaglia and man. That's scary. There's no doubt that someone would clip the video and make it into an overly-dramatic retelling complete with music.

Hilarious.

As for Kazuha! He'd be a bit of a mish mosh! He enjoys poking fun at others, and he's so sly! Those poor hosts don't realize that he's goading them on, but sure enough--he is. Who knew that his charming smile and mild-mannered attitude could be so devastating?

But even then, he's mostly wholesome! There's a lot of little clips, mostly of your doing, of him in a 'kiss the chef' apron getting caught off guard while cooking something up. The videos aren't great because you're giggling while recording and he ends up placing the ladle down calmly before wrapping you up in his arms. Half the video ends up being the two of you laughing and joking while it's pointed at a weird angle towards the counter.

Sometimes it'll point just right and you'll get a half-blurred view of Xiao sitting at the kitchen island with his reading glasses perched on his nose and book forgotten. He tends to get up and join in for a few smooches before reminding Kazuha of the food that's still cooking.

--

Albedo!! He absolutely is the golden child. He's fantastic handling things under pressure in a cool, calm manner. Handsome, charismatic, incredibly smart--man's hit all the stops and just keeps going.

It's not until it comes out that the two of you are together that his cool façade (hardly one, though) falters and at the mere mention of you, he'll go soft. There's a tenderness in his eyes, a small smile on his lips, and his blush? Absolutely adorable. How can anyone object when he's obviously so in love with you?

And the idea you mentioned with the two of you traveling and experiencing stuff together sounds so cute (':

He particularly enjoys exploring new cuisine, so expect him to feed you some food from his plate-

There's also a few times where you two have gotten lost in the new places, more because you're both so busy taking in the sights to realize you've taken five wrong turns- But then you make it into a whole adventure, foregoing the map and deciding to wander around. What better way to discover and learn about somewhere than getting lost and wandering?

You find quite a few hidden gems this way since otherwise you'd be hitting more popular areas!

Wait- do they really show idols waking up???

Ahh regardless, Albedo's definitely a cuddler. He loves it, can't get enough of it. It's not often that he gets a good night's rest, but with you it seems like he's fully recharged and ready for the day! It's cute too because it doesn't matter--big spoon or little spoon, you on his chest or him resting on yours. Even a few times with you facing each other with your hands intertwined.

I also agree that Albedo would mess with the game show's hosts and contestants. Not only would he, but he'd be entirely smug about it (after all, we need to have that #smugbedo going on).

No doubt, there's been times where the cameras even focus/zoom in on him where he's sitting because he's got that smirk on his face.

[harrieatthemet]

Mustache

He has never been keen on sharing. 

And Gemma’s mere existence, as well as the small indent on her left thumb she swears is a scar (though Harry vehemently denies it is), is living proof. 

Mr Ducky was his favorite bath time companion for a good bulk of his childhood. There were even times he’d carry it around with him in the house tied to a string like a pet, one of Anne’s fondest memories and favorite stories to tell whenever she found the opportunity. 

Maybe it was Gemma’s own fault; she was only six at the time and was foolishly under the impression that the stupid rubber toy was at anyone’s disposal, which is what led her to try and situate the duck in her backpack as she geared up for school. 

It’s also what led her to tears because Harry caught her on the way out the front door, Mr Ducky in tow, and he instinctively sunk his teeth right into the side of her hand in protest. And, okay fine, he may have bit down a little harder than he should have, but the overall message he was sending came across very clear. Gemma never touched anything he owned again for a very, very, long time; and eventually went on to tell everyone in her class she had a vampire as a brother. 

“What do we think of this little number,” your hip jut, innocent as it was, just now became a permanent memory in Harry’s brain, “too much, like.. revealing?”

You like nice in red; devilish, even, and in the best way possible. There’s nothing revealing about the dress at all. Somehow, though, he finds himself perched squeamishly at the foot of your bed in complete fucking anguish. In theory, no, the dress is not too much. It’s the perfect ensemble and flatters you so well he feels like whoever made the dress conjured it up with you specifically in mind. 

And no, it’s not too much, for literally anyone else except him. How is such a modest dress enough for him to think you up the way he is right now; bent over in front of him with your hair wrapped tightly up in his palm while that dress lays in a sloppy ball by his feet. 

“Would be nice with nude shoes,” he mules, “like, those sandals y’ave, yeah?” 

The way your eyes light up, that same way they always do when your mind starts to move at light’s speed as you start assembling a million different ideas into one, is enough to tug a grin onto his mouth. 

He didn’t really want to agree to this. When you texted first to ask he ignored it, that way you’d have just carried on without him and he could blame a busy schedule or an overrun nap on his delayed response time. It’s much easier to blame a missed text for no response. Of course it’s not in your nature to send a text, and he knew that already. So it came a son surprise when he was bombarded by 4 phone calls. By the fifth one he had picked up, succumbing to you and just the flat out unfulfilled urge he had to hear your voice at the other end of the phone.

“Seriously Harry,” your voice is like fucking honey, sweet and sullen like it always is, and he’s in euphoria listening to it as you poke your earring through the lobe of your left ear, “it’s just, y’know I don’t- I’m nervous and I appreciate you helping me do something as stupid as picking a dress.” 

“S’not stupid,” he reassures, “y’know I just like spending time with yeh, since y’so busy ’n stuff.”

Which is true. That’s the only thing that got him over here; and he rescheduled a zoom call just to sit in your bedroom for all of twenty minutes. Not one part of him regretted it, either.

“I’m busy?” You tease, “coming from the A lister who’s in London, than LA, than New York, London again, oh, than LA again oh, then ‘sorry love, m’in Tokyo.’”

Also true, he knows that, which is why he’s snickering at fault in response to your harmless teasing. He wouldn’t say it now, mainly because he doesn’t want to make it weird, but regardless of where he falls on the map he somehow still finds a way to fit you in. He’s never minded doing it, either. 

Twenty minutes isn’t enough. Maybe another twenty more could be a sufficient amount. That’s almost an hour, right? Forty minutes is almost a full hour with you and he’d love to get even that much. Or twenty more hours, even, would be that much better. It’s better for him to think of getting more time with you than to let his thoughts wander and remind him of where you’re getting ready to go off to. 

A date. It’s why he was so hesitant to come here. It’s hard enough as it is being a prisoner to his own thoughts, being around you and not getting to interact with you the way he actually wants; kiss you the way he wants, touch you the way he wants, hold you and talk to you the way he wants. Adding a new element to the mix, another man getting access to you the way he wants, well that’s just mental warfare. 

You don’t know anything about though. And thank God, because if you could get a peak into his thoughts and see just a preview of what he thinks he almost knows for sure you’d ice him out in a heartbeat. He’s got a soft spot for you, nonetheless, which is why he swallowed the massive-sized lump in his throat when you told him you needed help on an outfit for a date and b lined it over to your place.

“Who’s this guy, anyways.” He chimes, following you similar to that of a lost puppy as you start heading towards the staircase, “Like, wha’s he look like ’n stuff.”

Immediately after he asks he wishes he hadn’t. The way that pesky fucking lump reappears when you wiggle your eyebrows in response, stuffing your hand into your leather purse in an attempt to fish out your phone. A simple response like ‘handsome’ or ‘he’s a nice guy’ would’ve sufficed for him. Seriously, that’s all he needed. What he didn’t need was an entire fucking slideshow of an above average looking guy. And he had a cool mustache, to boot, which really pissed Harry off for some reason. 

“Should probably shave,” he squints his eyes at the photo you’ve got propped right in front of his face, trying his hardest to act like he isn’t so fucking jealous of that mustache, “kinda looks like a squirrel on his top lip."

“If I didn’t know you so well,” you tut teasingly, “I’d think you’re a dick.”

“You know me so well and still don’t think that?” 

He likes the way your laugh sounds, and it makes him happy that he said something amusing enough to drag it out of you. And the toothy smile you pair with it practically knocks the wind right out of him. Everything you do seems to wow him, corny as it sounds. It makes him feel so at ease, and the butterflies he gets each time gets him reminiscing to the days where he was just a kid and had the worlds biggest crush on the girl who sat three rows ahead of him in grade school. He’s giddy and he doesn’t want you to leave for this date. 

For a second he thinks about doing something elaborate; breaking his foot or faking an illness so that you literally have no choice but to hang back and look after him. That’s selfish though, and honestly just crazy and super fucked up, so he opts out of that. But he doesn’t want you to go so bad he seriously considers it, especially as you start sorting through the downstairs closet to find a coat that doesn’t clash with your shoes. 

He could just be honest. He could just tell you that he doesn’t want you to go, solely because he’s absolutely infatuated with you and for every hour he’s awake and functioning you manage to consume every thought he has. He could just be an adult and tell you he’s got feelings for you that very much surpass a platonic, friendly demeanor. That might be a better way into persuading you to stay back with him than breaking his fucking foot. 

“Ok now wait a minute,” he chokes, and there’s a painful twang that strikes his gut when you frown, “gotta tell y’somethin’.” 

“What,” you groan, and he swears he would rather die right now than do anything else, “it’s the shoes, right? They make my calves look like I’m a running back don’t they?” 

He wants to laugh but he thinks if he opens his mouth he would projectile vomit everywhere. But the thought occurs to him that if he does that than it would be an excellent excuse for you to skip the date. Though, of course, he runs the risk of grossing you out and absolutely humiliating himself all in one go of it. 

So he shakes his head no. In fact he loves the shoes, and they make your ankles look slender and really compliment your legs quite nicely. Still, he’s scrambling to string together a coherent sentence because his brain is working a lot faster than the muscles in his mouth are and it feels like someone just super glued his lips shut.

“Speak now or forever hold your peace,” you tease, and the cheeky wink you shoot him over your shoulder just edges him even more if that’s possible at this point, “Styles.”

“I don’t want y’to go on this date, (Y/N).” 

He’s well aware that he blurted that out in a way that he really, really, wish he hadn’t. Now the air in the room is stale and heavy, dense too, like someone just sucked all the air out and left the two of you here with nothing to inhale but words and unspecified tension. 

And he’s starting to get more anxious as your playful manner dissipates. He can tell your puzzled not just be the demeanor of your face, but by the stance of your body because your letting shoulders hang the way you do when you’re a little uncomfortable. 

“Oh,” you breath, and his chest starts sinking inward, “okay, I just- well why not? Do I not.. like, do I look bad or something?”

“No,” he coos, and he feels like the worlds biggest asshole when you start to frown, “No y’don’t- Christ, (Y/N) y’look amazing. Y’always look so fuckin’ amazing. It’s just-”

“What,” you huff, “than what is it, than? Why wouldn’t you want me to go?”

He’s really done it now. The proper thing to do would’ve just been to let you go, walk out with you and watch you drive off before he headed home himself. The proper thing to do would’ve been for him to just go home and think about you on a date with someone other than himself, curled up in a ball watching a Friends episode he’s already seen four times while he felt sorry for himself. But that’s not what happened, and what he should’ve done was just broke the fucking foot like he initially thought to do. That would’ve been less agonizing than this. 

“Because,” he’s frustrated now, not with you but really just himself, “I should be taking y’out. M’absolutely in love with yeh, (Y/N), and I don’t have a cool mustache but I could take y’out on a date, ’n I want to so bad.” 

There’s still that dense energy looming in the room, and his gut now too as he feels it winding up tightly in an anxious bundle of knots and twists. You’re not saying anything and the only thing he notices is that you’re breathing is vaguely staggered and your clutching onto that purse in your hand like he’s about to snatch it and run off. God, he should’ve just broken the foot!

“Please don’t go out wit him,” and now, his voice is small, “think it might kill me.”

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Omg I love all your drabbles they are so amazing and brilliant I can’t believe you do that for free! What a blessing you are!! I was wondering whether there would be a part four to the vacation au and if not could you do maybe more jealous Cassian but in your lawyer au I’m obsessed but honestly anything you write has me happy!

This is so sweet I am so glad you’re loving the drabbles! I did a second part to the vacation AU a couple days ago so I’m going to go with Jealous Cassian in the lawyer AU. I already *kind* of did this but I’ve been doing jealousy light lately and this time we are cranking it up to 100. This one is kinda long and pretty angsty and I think I definitely need to smoosh all these lawyer drabbles into a mini story that follows Nessian from meeting while studying for the bar exam and then through snippets of their careers so maybe that’s what I’ll do next.

Actually facing Nesta in court was an extreme rarity. All of her non pro Bono work was strictly solicitor. Drafting contracts and negotiating deals in different chic board rooms with little glass bottles of Perrier and complimentary latte carts trolling the halls.

Nesta thought that she didn’t want to litigate. She thought that people didn’t like her and because of that she was a bad advocate. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Watching Nesta fight for something that she believed in, truly believed in, was the closest thing to a religious experience Cassian had ever known.

“And I would urge you to consider in your decision, your honour, the fact that even if it should apply in this case, the very law my learned friend is attempting to uphold is currently under review by the Supreme Court and may soon be overturned on the basis of being unconstitutional as well as unconscionable.” Nesta took a pregnant pause.

“If that happens. If this law is overturned, as you well know, it will not be retroactively helpful to my client. My client who was born here. My client who grew up in Queens. My client who can draw you a map of which bodegas has the best coffee vs the best sandwiches and their proximity to the nearest train, and if that doesn’t qualify her as an American, and a New Yorker, then I don’t know what does.” The judge smiled a little at that. It was a calculated risk, the emotional appeal. But Judge Miluski was already on Nesta’s side and she was a born and bread New Yorker and she had the rare distinction of being a member of the judiciary with a sense of humour. “If this law is overturned, which we both know is highly likely, then my client will be sent to another country, a country she has never even been to, not because she did anything wrong, but because this trial happened a few weeks too-”

Nesta trailed off, eyes caught at the quietly opening gallery door. A man stepped in. Tall and thin and… greasy. Hair slicked back with so much product Cassian didn’t think he’d feel it if he hit him on the head with a hammer. Which he desperately wanted to do. That brutish, violent, raised in foster homes in Harlem side of him that even a legal education and a closet full of Armani suits could never quite polish out of him lit on fire at the sight of this creep. This asshole who was wearing fucking asics with his $4000 suit. And no tie. Top three buttons of a pinstripe white shirt unbuttoned. What a fucking rube.

Except that this guy. THIS fucking guy, made Nesta lose her train of thought. This guy who walked into court late and had yet to drag his eyes up from Nesta’s ass, had distracted her. Caused her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and smile a little. This shy, light, cutesy little smile that absolutely did not belong on Nesta Archeron’s face.

When Nesta smiled it was a sly, knowing, victorious thing that curled across her lips and set Cassian’s heart hammering in his chest.

This… this was insanity.

The man smirked, deep and arrogant, as he stood at the back of the courtroom, hands slid into his pockets. Not even respectful enough of the proceedings to sit down.

Nesta gathered herself quickly. The whole mess over in under 20 seconds, but Cassian noticed it. Even as Nesta went on and cited the law and the competing jurisprudence and the ethics and the constitution, he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was that little smile.

Cassian said his final piece, the judge ruled, as they both knew she would, in Nesta’s favor, and it was all over.

Nesta didn’t even gloat like she usually would have. She just stuck her hand out, the absolute picture of professionalism, and shook his.

“Good working with you, Counseler.” She said, as if he hadn’t pulled her around the side of a building and pushed her body up against a brick wall the other day, moulding her into him as they fought over this case. Discussed their future. Their passions.

She’d rejected his invitation to dinner, but she always did. It was a part of the game. A game that Cassian was determined to win.

“Who’s the tech bro?” The sneakers with the suit and the unbuttoned shirt and the general shitty attitude all pointed to that being the only reasonable profession.

“Babe,” the slimy man in question pushed past the swinging waist high half door that separated the gallery and the space where counsel’s desks sat. “Let’s go.” He wrapped and arm too tightly around Nesta’s waist and pulled on her a little.

Cassian curled his fists into his palms so hard his nails bit imprints into the skin of his palms. Babe? Telling her when to leave? The pulling? No.

“I’m Cassian.” He held out his hand. “ADA. What firm do you work for? Haven’t seen you around.”

“Tomas.” The man scoffed, “And I’m not a lawyer. Not interested in all that gibberish you’re type is always spewing. Sounds like pure nonsense to me. I’m a tech investor.”

Yeah. That sounded about right. No actual skills. Not an engineer or developer or even a business manager. Just an idiot with a trust fund throwing money at whatever looked cool.

“Well, Tomas. Do you know why they call that big exam full of all that gibberish you hate the bar exam?” The weasel just raised his eyebrows. “It’s because once you pass it, then you are an attorney. And allowed to cross past this BAR.” Cassian pushed Tomas back out the little half door again. “Which separates the civilians in the gallery from the lawyers making their cases. So maybe learn how to show a little respect.” Cassian scoffed, flicking his eyes to Nesta, “In a few different areas of your life.”

“What the fuck, bro?” Tomas rolled his eyes. “This is why I fucking hate going to your lawyer parties and shit. Jackasses like this.”

“Tomas, please.” Nesta placed a hand on his chest, Cassian tensed, and that seemed to calm Tomas down. Not Nesta’s touch, but another man’s jealousy.

“Why don’t you bring the car around. I have to work out a court date for another matter with Cassian but I’ll be right out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Tomas glared, keeping eye contact with Cassian as he kissed Nesta’s cheek, hand travelling too far down her back. “Hurry though.”

“Of course.” Nesta smiled that same tiny little smile that made her look like a doll on a shelf and Cassian wanted to scream.

“What the fuck are you doing with a piece of shit like that?” Cassian minced no words as he turned to face Nesta.

“Excuse me?”

“Pretty straight forward question, Nes.”

“You… you don’t know him. He’s not like that once you get to know him.”

“Sure he’s not,” Cassian scoffed.

“What is your problem?”

“My problem is that your boyfriend, who I’ve never heard of or seen before today despite knowing you for years, had a chance to see you in court. Had a chance to watch you all fired up and passionate and brilliant and instead he walked in late, stared at your ass instead of listening to what you were saying, and then shoved his way up here and pulled at you to leave like you were some kind of toy he didn’t mind tearing the arm off of.”

Nesta blinked. Huffed out a breath. “We’ve been on again off again for a while. That’s why you haven’t seen him before. And he just doesn’t like lawyer stuff that’s why he’s like that in here ok? Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So you’re dating someone who not only doesn’t recognize how brilliant you are but won’t even let you talk about your job?” That was wrong. That was so wrong. That was… why Nesta was so intense with him. Why she debated and fought and talked for hours. Because she couldnt do it at home.

“Why do you even care, Cassian? Let’s just set a date and-”

“Fuck you, Nesta.” Her jaw fell open. “Fuck you for even asking me that. You know why I care. You can’t play dumb with me like I assume you do with him.”

“You don’t know anything about my relationship!” Nesta defended a little too vehemently.

“I know you can’t yell at him about his take on immigration laws,” Cassian stepped closer to her. “I know you can’t get a little tipsy off your favorite Malbec and go on a rambling tirade about the corrupt judiciary and your twenty three- or twenty five depending on the night- reasons why voting for judges completely undermines the integrity of the legal system.”

The was almost no space between them as Cassian looked down, gently set his hand under Nesta’s chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Burning with anger and passion and barely concealed desire. “I know that he didn’t understand why you were crying when RBG died. Because he doesn’t care about how appointing Supreme Court judges works or what that meant for the future of the court. And because I know that you weren’t with him that night. You were with me. Just like election night in 2016. And the Kavanaugh trials. And when the travel ban came into effect. You found me. Because I get it, and I care about your thoughts on all of those things. I’m devastated by them too. You were with me, Nes. And don’t you dare pretend that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does,” Nesta let her cheek sink into his palm. “It means everything Cassian, but…”

“But we fight,” he smiled. “We bicker and yell and cross ideologies and disagree on all the little things. But not the big things, Nes. Never on the big things. We disagree on how to change the world, not what we want to change in it. Isn’t that what matters?”

Nesta swallowed. “I can’t risk losing you.” She said quietly. “I need you. For all of those reasons, I need you to be in my life and if we… I hurt the people I love, Cassian. So if I let myself love you, I would only hurt you. And I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

“So you date him.” Realization was an arrow sailing into Cassian’s chest. “Because you won’t hurt him. Because you could never actually love him.”

Nesta swallowed. “See? See how awful I am?”

Cassian moved his hand to her back, pulled her into his chest. “Go,” he whispered. “Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here. And I’ll be waiting for you to realize that I’m not going anywhere. That I can take it. Whatever you want to throw at me, I can take it, Nes.”