#knowing damn well I won't be able to write them or finish them

[madamedramatics]

A scenario where Shepard jokes with Vega, saying she's practically Garrus' wife now after she promotes him to her XO during the war, resulting in them unintentionally spending a lot more time together.

The joke goes over Vega's head, and he goes to congratulate Garrus personally. Garrus is confused, and Vega promises to keep the "secret marriage" a secret. Garrus now has to figure out how in the hell he accidentally proposed to and married a human and how is he supposed to tell his dad he missed the unplanned wedding and the ceremonial meeting of his fiancé. He was almost 30, but this was going to get him grounded for at least another 30 years or maybe even life.

Was he supposed to get his new wife a gift? Where they supposed to get matching tattoos like Turians? He could've sworn he read somewhere that humans consummated their vows the same way Turians do. Where did he go wrong dammit!?

He adores the idea of Shepard being his wife and loves knowing that she was so excited that she even told Vega about it. He just now has to figure out how he married her in the first place without her knowing he doesn't know. Because then she'll think he never wanted to marry her, and that is NOT the case. Maybe Tali will know? No way. She'd just call him a bosh'tet. Wrex will also call him a professional idiot. Liara won't judge, but he's sure she still hasn't gotten over her crush on the Commander, and he doesn't want to rub his new marriage in her face. Maybe Joker will tell him if he promises him the new fornax issue.

Garrus has had his fair share of giving his dad a pseudo aneurysm, but this one was going to send him into cardiac arrest for sure when he finds out his son married a woman the family didn't even meet. He needs a drink...after he finishes bribing Edi to scrub away everything she just heard him say out loud.

Garrus doesn't know that Vega is the galaxy's worst secret keeper, telling Shepard he's keeping the secret marriage a secret unwilling to let Shepard convince him that she's actually not married yet. She goes to see Garrus to have a good laugh about Vega's idiocy but walks into Garrus telling Edi he will use Shepard's override if she doesn't get rid of something.

Garrus is absolutely mortified and gives the cheesiest greeting to his "wife." She assumes Vega already brought the joke to Garrus but she's not overlooking him trying to be suspicious with Edi. He recovers, mentioning it was for his sesrch history for a gift he wanted to get her. He did intend to get her a gift so the phrase wasn't a complete lie...

She jokes about it and calls him her husband. Garrus, the realist he is, does not take this as a joke. She leaves him to his vices, and Garrus is now in a full-blown panic. He needs to understand what he did, and he needs to know now.

(If my brain gets any more random ideas, I'll at least finish and provide a resolution to this concept, lol. Feel free to offer your own ending)

[tulpanya]

five more minutes, please!

includes : (mouthwashing) anya, curly, daisuke, swansea.

summary : you fall asleep on them, will they have the heart to wake you?

warnings : gn! reader. curly carries reader around (trust, this man is a gym bro, no matter what he will be carrying your ass).

ANYA

You were helping Anya study for one of her upcoming exams, flashcards in hand and your head in her lap. "Correct~" You coo, eyelids growing heavy as you flip through the cards- each of which answered correctly by Anya. It isn't until she misses one that you find a small break for yourself. Eyes falling shut, Anya writes down notes furiously, clacking away at her laptop.

It's a nice moment, the ambience has your breathing slowly evening out until you've fallen asleep on her lap. "Okay, I won't miss that one next time," She mumbles, "What's the next-" She tenses up upon seeing your sleeping form. When did you fall asleep? She glances at the time on her computer and her eyes nearly bug out of her head- when did it get so late?!

Closing her laptop, Anya hesitantly begins to trace the curves of your face, a small smile forming on her lips. It wasn't rare to see you asleep before her, but it was still a moment she cherished. She wondered how long it would take for her legs to start to tingle from falling asleep, and she wonders if when that times come, will she be able to wake you?

Well, when you wake up, you're still on her lap at the dining table. Anya's head tilted back as she lets out soft snores, causing you to bite back some laughter. Of course she couldn't wake you, that would be like committing a grave sin!

CURLY

"I'm tired," You grumble, Curly in response just nods his head, muttering quiet 'i know, i know's as he tries not to speed home. "Will you carry me inside?" He glances over at you- and when he sees you're serious he chuckles.

"Yeah," He grins as he pulls into the driveway, "Just close your eyes, I'll get you." With a giddy grin, you close your eyes and await your knight in shining armor. He's quiet as he opens the car door, and even quieter as he picks you up and carries you inside your shared home. He goes so far as to carry you to the bed- but as he's about to put you down, he's notice you've already began to drool on his shoulder.

"Didn't realize I was so comfy," He teases, even though you can't hear. "Well, should I hold on to you a little longer?" Only your even breathing is heard. Indulging himself, he carries you for a little while longer wondering how you haven't woken up yet.

It's then, as you nuzzle into shoulder with a sweet smile, that Curly realizes he would never let you down again if he could help it. (After an hour his arms start to go a little numb so he finally puts you down bc he doesn't want to accidentally drop you)

DAISUKE

"Movie night!" Daisuke cheered, nearly spilling popcorn everywhere as he jumped over the couch to sit next to you, smiling from ear to ear. "Are you ready to be scared~" He wiggled his brows, selecting the movie you two were going to watch- a horror movie that just came out.

"Speak for yourself," You scoff, getting cozy under the blankets as Daisuke presses play on the movie. It's not even forty minutes into the movie before you start to yawn, your eyelids feeling heavy. The only time you really jump is when Daisuke yelps from some scary scene on the screen.

"This movie is pretty intense, isn't i-" Before he can finish his sentence, your head is hitting his shoulder. His eyes widen, thinking you're trying to scare him, but when he realizes you fell asleep he relaxes a bit. "Jeez, you're no fun..." He mumbles, shaking his head at you- how could fall asleep during movie night!? But... You did look rather cute... Nervously he glances away from your face.

Why did you have to look so damn cute? Daisuke glances back at your face, no longer paying attention to the movie. Your soft little snores makes his heart do more flips that the scary scenes on screen. "Hey... You really asleep?" He asks, waiting for a reply. When you don't respond (because you're asleep), he lets out a shaky breath. "I... I like you... Just so you know..." He whispers his confession to you, and when you don't react (because, again, you're sleeping), he turns back to the movie.

"Anyway, this is a dumb movie- you can pick the movie next time." He talks aloud, deciding to turn off the movie and (try to) fall asleep as well, unable to wake you up or move you off him.

SWANSEA

"I told you it was a dumb idea to take the train," Swansea grumbles as he boards the last train, which is late, with you. You roll your eyes as you listen to him continue to mumble out complaints. Finding a seat in an emptier section, Swansea finally stops yapping.

"Got that out of your system?" You ask, and it's his turn to roll his eyes. You snicker, resting your head against his shoulder. "At least admit you had fun today, won't you?" He sighs, glancing down at you.

"Yeah, I had fun." He says, albeit begrudgingly. With that, silence washes over you both. It's not long before the exhaustion of the fun day starts to hit you, and you think it'll be fine if you just close your eyes for a little bit- until you're skipping through dreamland. Swansea notices almost immediately that you've fallen asleep, and frowns.

"Seriously?" He tries to shake you awake, but you don't budge. Sighing, he awkwardly adjusts himself so that you're more comfortable. "Just don't blame me if ya wake up with a crick in the neck, 'kay?" He lets you sleep until it's your stop- he loves you, but not enough to let you sleep 'til the end of the line.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

[nightlyrequiem]

Pretty pretty please can you do a jealous Valeria x pillow princess reader <3333 love your writing btw, keeps me sane.

I indeed can!

Glad you like my writing <3 Because I also like my writing and if no one else did, it might be a little embarrasing

I think pillow princesses get too much hate. Justice for pillow princesses

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Slightly Toxic Valeria, Strap-ons, Jealous Valeria, Aftercare, Established relationship

Pillow Princess

The doors to Valeria's villa slam open.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" She snarls, dragging you inside by your arm. "Giving eyes to everyone in the room, practically begging that short bitch to bend you over the table!" You don't take her words that seriously. She's been neglecting you for weeks and you were fed up with it. So you decided to provoke her. If she wouldn't give you attention, you'd force her to.

Valeria is an incredibly territorial woman. One who guards what she owns with a jealous vigor. Her money, her drugs, her territory, and you. Unlike those other things, you are capable of walking away on your own and you've done well to remind her of that fact. Valeria talks angrily and you drown her out. Letting her pull you around as she takes off her shoes. 

"You're ungrateful." She spits. All worked up. She turns to look at you, pupils blown out. "You want other people? Is that it? Because you know damn well you won't have it as good with them as you have it with me." She snaps.

You sigh.

"You're acting crazy." You tell her.

Valeria whips her head up, glowering at you. "I'm acting crazy." She repeats, voice going dangerously flat. She storms up to and grips your arm painfully. She pulls you into the bedroom and throws you onto the bed. "I'll fuck that thought out of you." She growls. Reaching under your dress to yank down your panties. You press your face into the sheets to hide the giddy smile on your lips. Valeria doesn't even bother to undress as she straps on the harness. The cool metal of her rings presses into your skin as she grabs your hips and pushes into you. You press back against that delicious stretch, hands fisting the sheets.

You happily let her vent out her frustrations using your body. Happy to finally be getting some attention.

"You think that girl you were talking to could make you feel this way?" She snaps. Slamming her hips into yours for emphasis. You sigh laxly. Valeria grabs the back of your neck and leans down, deepening the angle inside of you. "Answer me." She  murmurs warningly.

"No." You gasp out.

"No what?" She asks.

"No, she wouldn't be able to make me feel this way." You say, arching your back for her.

Valeria strokes your neck.

"Good girl." She coos. Going at a gentler pace. She holds your hips and grinds into you in just the perfect way. 

"Say you're sorry." She demands.

"I'm sorry, Valeria." You say. Valeria rubs her hands over your hips and lower back approvingly.

"Yeah. I know you are mi amor." She sighs. "Do you think you deserve to finish?" 

You nod.

Valeria puts a hand on your back and presses you into the mattress. Doing all the work and encouraging you to enjoy it. Valeria languidly thrusts into you. Letting that stress and jealousy bleed out of her with each thrust of her hips. You lay your head down and close your eyes. Focusing on that hot feeling in your lower abdomen. Slowly building until your pushed over the edge. 

Valeria, attuned to your body enough to tell you came, doesn't stop.

"You can give me a few more." She murmurs. She pulls out and flips you onto your back. Crawling on top of you and resuming her slow pace, using your shoulders as an anchor. She rocks into you, stopping your hand when it starts towards your clit. Instead, she does that for you. Rubbing torturous circles as she fucks you lovingly.

You cum again. Then for a third time. By the fourth time you're sweaty and squirming. 

"One more, amor." She tells you. Holding your legs down and dragging her silicone cock in and out of you. You don't think you have it in you but Valeria as always manages to pull one from you with expert use of the tools at her disposal. She slowly pulls out, aware of your sensitivity and admires the creamy ring around the base.

She kisses your forehead before taking off the harness and setting it down to be cleaned later. She grabs a rag and cleans you. Appreciating the sight of your tired body. Feeling proud that she did this to you. She crawls into bed and lays down with her arm under her head. You curl up beside her. Content that you finally got her attention.

[xomakara]

Sweat and Seduction

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | You're a yoga instructor that teaches yoga and well-being. When the girls in your class get distracted by Yeosang, a regular gym client, you can't help but fall for him too.

PAIRING | Yeosang x Reader

GENRE/CONTENT/WARNINGS | gymrat!Yeosang, yogateacher!Reader, non-idol au, smut (with some plot), consensual sex, vaginal sex (wrap it up y’all!), oral sex, dirty talk

RATING | Mature, Explicit, 18+, NSFW, MDNI

LENGTH | 4,119 words

TAGLIST |  @yeostinys

NETWORKS |  @cromernet (reuploaded so only tagging nets that haven't reblogged it yet)

AUTHOR’S NOTE | Took me a bit to write this so I hope it turns out well. I hope you all like, comment, reblog since it would mean the world to me.

ATEEZ Main Masterlist

Here's the original request:

“Girl, look at him.”

“Oh my god, he’s so hot.”

“You think he’s single?”

You looked at the man that the girls from your yoga class were oogling over. He was wearing a tight fitting black muscle tank with gray sweatpants. You knew who he was because every other day they made some sort of comment about how good looking he was or how great his body was. The one that really caught your attention was when one girl said ‘I want to lick his abs all day long.’

Not that you don't blame her. You had thoughts like that about him too.

Kang Yeosang was a regular at your gym and you’d often see him about three or four times a week. He’d always work out at the same time and leave at the same time. Some days he would bring his equally attractive friends with him but most days it was just him. His beautiful face and rock hard body really stood out amongst the rest of the guys there. Most of the guys in the gym usually dressed up a bit but Yeosang stuck to more basic workout wear which really highlighted his features.

A lot of women probably felt the same way you did about him, wanting to be close to him and feel the strength he exuded. It wasn’t an easy task for him though, being a muscular hunk in a fitness center where everyone has good looks and muscles.

You always noticed him.

He noticed you too.

So when the girls started acting like little teenage girls and asking if he was single, you couldn’t help but overhear them as you finished stretching after your yoga class. You waved as some of the women in your class, happily married or taken, went on their way while the clearly single ones lingered around trying to get a glimpse of Yeosang again.

You walked up to the front desk and leaned against the counter to look at your friend who was finishing up checking in a client. Ari, your friend, shook her head as she looked at the girls that were still waiting for Yeosang to come back.

"Looks like they're at it again." She muttered.

You shrugged, "I'm already used to it. They did that when they saw Seonghwa a few weeks ago. Now he comes and works out at night only."

Ari laughed. "I don't blame him. The girls in your yoga class are horny as fuck."

You laughed. "Only the single ones."

"What about you?" Ari asked, a teasing smile on her face.

"What about me?"

"Aren't you horny for him too?" Ari nudged you. "I see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him."

"Pfft. He's just a regular here. Of course, we're going to look at each other. I teach classes here, remember?" You scoffed.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Ari said. "He's so damn handsome. Just imagine if he wanted to… explore those muscles with you. Wouldn't you be down?"

"I mean..." You paused for a moment before answering. "Maybe... If he came on to me then sure, why not? But until then..."

Ari grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. "Do you think you'd be able to turn him down?"

"With a face and body like that..." You bit your bottom lip. "Hell no. I'll take whatever I can get."

Ari laughed. "Well good luck my friend. You'll tell me all about it, won't you?"

You grinned. "Yeah, yeah. You have my word."

You watched as Ari chased out your students since your class was over. It wasn't time for you to leave the gym yet, so you were helping some of the staff disinfect equipment and do last minute cleaning. While you were wiping the handle of the dumbbells, Yeosang came walking towards you.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up and goosebumps spread across your arms as he walked closer to you. His body language seemed casual, but you could tell something was different about him today. There was something else behind his eyes, like he was determined.

“Ms Y/N?” You heard his deep voice call out your name and you couldn’t help but shiver at the sound of it. You slowly turned your head and found yourself staring into his dark chocolate brown eyes.

“Yes?” You replied, suddenly feeling very nervous. What was wrong with you? This guy is just another normal customer at the gym!

“By chance, do you have any openings in your yoga class?” Yeosang asked. “Preferably anything at night or with your married students because I’m worried that the single girls in your morning class would jump me.”

“Sure. Come by tomorrow afternoon after my last class. We’ll discuss the details then.” You smiled at him.

Yeosang nodded and flashed you a dazzling smile before heading off to work out somewhere else in the gym.

Ari was by your side in an instant. "Ohhhhhh, did I see you talk to Mr Hunk? What did he say? Did he ask you out?"

You shook your head. "He wants to take one of my classes. That's it."

"Ouuuuu." Ari nudged you. "You'll tell me all about it, right?"

"Yes. Definitely." You laughed. "Now go help somebody else. I've got work to do."

As you continued working, you kept thinking about Yeosang and the possibility of teaching him. Not many men had this much confidence to approach you directly without being creepy. That coupled with his physical appearance meant that he would likely have no problem doing yoga poses during the class and showing off his rock hard body.

His muscles and stamina could easily rival yours.

And maybe you’d get a good workout in yourself along the way.

The next day, after your yoga class, you had an idea. You were curious if Yeosang was the type of man who could keep up with you or not.

"Hey Yeosang, do you mind sticking around for a few minutes after class?" You asked, watching him carefully. "I need someone to try out a new pose with."

Yeosang looked at you curiously. "Sure, no problem. I'll be here."

"Great. Thank you."

After everyone left the room, you pulled Yeosang into the back to discuss the details of him joining your class. You explained to him that you needed a male volunteer so you could have him try out the different poses and make sure that it was suitable for both genders. He agreed and the two of you walked back to the front of the gym.

"Are you ready to try some of these poses?" You asked him.

Yeosang smirked and nodded.

"Okay, let's start with a simple one." You said, getting into a position and waiting for him to copy it.

Yeosang followed your lead, mirroring you. His eyes never left yours, making you blush slightly.

"Alright, now try the next one." You told him, demonstrating the pose.

Yeosang took a step forward and reached down, placing one hand on the floor. Then he placed his other hand next to his foot.

"Perfect." You praised him, smiling widely.

Yeosang stayed there for a moment before lifting his head up and staring into your eyes once more. He moved forward, his lips inches away from yours. Your breath hitched and you swallowed nervously.

"How did I do?" He asked quietly, his breath ghosting over your skin.

"Good job." You whispered.

"Thanks." He mumbled. "What's next?"

You gulped, your mouth suddenly dry. "Um... let's try something harder."

Yeosang nodded, keeping eye contact.

You led him through the rest of the poses, taking your time with each one. Yeosang watched intently, making sure to follow every direction. You tried not to stare at his body too much, but it was difficult not to.

His shirt clung to him tightly, emphasizing his broad shoulders and muscular chest. The sleeves of his shirt stretched tightly across his biceps, showing off their impressive size. He wore loose fitting black track pants that hung low on his hips.

After the last pose, Yeosang sat down beside you. You glanced over at him, seeing him wipe the sweat from his forehead.

"Well done. You've got a natural talent." You complimented him, trying to act normal despite the butterflies in your stomach.

"Thanks." Yeosang said, a faint smirk playing on his lips.

"It's getting late. Why don't we call it a day?" You suggested, standing up.

"Okay." He replied, standing up as well.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

As soon as Yeosang walked away, you let out a heavy sigh.

Holy shit.

You didn't expect him to be so fucking attractive.

It took a lot of self control not to stare at his ass while he walked away. You wanted to touch him so badly.

Your heart rate was racing and you could feel heat spreading throughout your body. You couldn't stop thinking about his beautiful face.

His lips.

His strong jawline.

His muscular arms.

You were absolutely smitten with him.

And you had no idea how to deal with it.

The next day, you met up with Ari to talk about the situation.

"Oh my god." She gasped when you told her what happened. "So you're gonna start teaching him every night? That's amazing! Are you excited?"

"Yeah, but I don't know if I can handle it." You groaned, covering your face with your hands.

"Why not? What happened?" Ari asked, her brows furrowed.

"He's so fucking hot." You whined, leaning forward and placing your head on the table.

Ari giggled. "Everyone in the whole gym knows he’s hot.”

"I know, but it's different. I've never had a guy affect me like this before." You sighed, shaking your head. "I can't focus on anything else when he's around."

"Maybe it's because he's a new student?" Ari suggested. “I mean sure he’s a regular gym rat but he’s new to yoga, isn’t he?”

"Maybe." You mumbled.

"Look, just take it easy. Don't overthink it. Just enjoy teaching him yoga. It'll be fun!" Ari assured you.

You nodded, sighing.

"Alright! Class is done for the day!" You called out to your class, waving goodbye to them as they exited the studio. "Good job everyone!"

Some of your students left quickly, wanting to get home to spend time with their family. Others stayed behind to chat. You welcomed them to stay and socialize a little longer but your mind kept drifting to Kang Yeosang.

It had been a few weeks and while most people enjoyed learning yoga and meditation, Yeosang seemed to take pleasure in challenging himself. At least that’s what you assumed seeing the way he worked so hard during your classes. He’d push himself to the limit and beyond. Whether it was practicing his leg stretches and balance or using light weights to challenge his core strength, Yeosang took your class seriously and tried to better himself.

Seeing someone appreciate your teaching like that always brought a sense of pride and happiness to you.

“It feels so good to stretch and loosen up after sitting at the computer all day.” A girl in her early twenties said as she stretched out her legs. “I swear it makes my back hurt less.”

You chuckled and nodded. “I totally agree. You should come to my evening class next week. Would you be interested?”

The woman nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! You’re so amazing Ms. Y/N. I love coming to your classes.”

Another woman came over to you and clasped your shoulder. “Your students seem to adore you. How long have you been teaching?”

“This will be my fifth year actually.” You replied. “Why do you ask?”

She smiled and gently squeezed your shoulder. “You deserve a big promotion or raise or something. Teaching others is your calling and you make us all feel so special.”

“Thank you.” You blushed.

“You’ve got such a positive aura around you and your presence seems to make everything so peaceful. You must have some kind of magic powers or something.” The woman giggled.

The compliments were nice to hear. Even as a young adult, you could understand how people responded to you. You didn’t consider yourself special, especially compared to the yoga teachers you’ve met throughout the years. However, the fact that people related to you made you happy. Your job isn’t exactly a typical 9-to-5 office job either.

Working in a school was fine for the first two years but then you became bored of having to sit through endless meetings and pointless lectures about students and parents. It was only when you began teaching yoga classes and participating in the training of new instructors that you found meaning in your life again. Seeing the transformation of people that first come to class as a total stranger and end up leaving a few hours later as a happier, calmer person was priceless. Being part of someone’s journey to becoming healthy and mentally stable was truly rewarding. You waved as the remaining students left the studio.

"Ms Y/N."

That deep voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked up and found a familiar pair of brown eyes staring back at you.

Your heart stopped.

Your mind immediately went blank. All you could focus on was that one word that you'd heard from his mouth.

You turn to look at Yeosang, the black muscle tank he wore hugging his body tightly, revealing every bulging muscle and ripple of toned skin. His perfectly sculpted abs were visible through the fabric and even his skin tone appeared darker against the stark dark material. His slightly messy hair covered his forehead, framing his face.

Everything about him screamed sexy and you instantly felt a stirring in your pants. As if you weren’t aroused enough already from having to stare at him throughout the entire class. You cleared your throat awkwardly, looking away as you mumbled, “Ah, Yeosang.”

Yeosang couldn't help but run his eyes over your body and even though he had just finished a grueling workout session, he was still dripping with sweat. Your outfit clung to your curves and his gaze lingered at the jade green crop top that exposed a sliver of cleavage and hugged your chest. The yoga pants you were wearing were form fitting, showing off your perfect ass.

There was no doubt that Yeosang knew exactly how fucking hot you looked.

"That was a great class," he says, his voice deep and smooth as velvet. "You have a real talent for teaching."

You feel yourself blushing even more deeply, pleased by the compliment. "Thank you," you reply, your voice a little hoarse. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"I especially liked the way you emphasized the connection between the body and mind," he continues, stepping closer. "It's a very sensual approach."

Your heart is pounding in your chest as you feel the heat radiating from his body. "Well, yoga is all about exploring and embracing our senses," you respond, your voice steady, although your insides are quivering with anticipation.

Yeosang's smile widens, and he leans in closer, his breath tickling your ear. "I think you're right," he whispers. "And I'd love to explore more of those senses with you."

Your breath catches in your throat as you place your hand on his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart under your palm. "I think that can be arranged," you murmur, your voice low and inviting.

Without another word, Yeosang takes your hand and leads you out of the gym, his fingers gently entwining with yours. The touch of his skin against yours sends sparks racing through your body, and you can feel your nipples hardening, pressing against your sports bra.

He takes you to his place, a cozy apartment just a short walk away. As soon as the door closes behind you, he presses you against it, his lips crushing yours in a passionate kiss. You moan into his mouth, your hands roaming over his broad chest and down his strong back.

He breaks the kiss, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your jawline and down your neck. "Let me worship your body," he whispers, his warm breath fanning over your sensitive skin. "Let me show you how much I've wanted this."

You nod, unable to form words as you're overcome with desire. Yeosang kneels before you, his strong hands sliding up your thighs, lifting your legs and wrapping them around his waist. His lips find the sensitive spot just behind your knee, and he kisses and nuzzles the delicate skin, sending shivers up your spine.

His fingers skirt the hem of your yoga pants, and with slow, deliberate movements, he peels them down your legs, exposing your bare pussy. You gasp as the cool air washes over your heated skin, and your eyes close as you feel his hot breath on your most intimate place.

Then, his tongue, wet and warm, laps at your clit, sending shocks of pleasure through your body. He teases the sensitive bud, circling and flicking it with the tip of his tongue, driving you wild. His fingers find your hole, and he slides one long digit inside, curling it to find that sweet spot that has you crying out.

You clutch at his shoulders, your fingers digging into his strong flesh as he works his magic on your pussy. With each stroke of his tongue and finger, your pleasure builds, coiling tighter and tighter in your core. You can feel the orgasm building, a tidal wave of sensation ready to crash over you.

"Come for me, baby," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. "Let me taste your sweet cum."

At his words, your climax hits, washing over you like a tsunami. You cry out his name as you shudder and tremble, your juices flooding his waiting mouth. He licks you clean, savoring every last drop.

After your release has passed, you sag against the door, breathless and satisfied. You gaze up at Yeosang, a smile playing on your swollen lips. "That was..." you trail off, unable to find the right word. "Incredible."

"Let's not stop there," he murmurs, taking your hand and guiding you through the apartment. He leads you to a bedroom where a queen sized bed sits in the corner. The comforter is smooth and inviting, the perfect contrast to the solid wood bed frame.

Yeosang kisses you once more, deep and tender, tasting of your juices and his own spicy scent. With deft fingers, he tugs your sports bra up, setting your breasts free. His lips find your nipples, sucking and teasing the hardened peaks as his hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and valley.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he breathes, pulling you flush against him so that you can feel his hardness pressing against your thigh. "I want to see all of you. Every single inch."

You oblige, stepping out of his grasp to remove the last bits of clothing on your body. You feel no shame or hesitation, only pure, primal desire. Yeosang looks like he wants to devour you whole.

Once you're fully nude before him, Yeosang begins removing his clothes as well. It takes everything in you not to whimper at the sight of his hard cock springing free, bobbing heavily between his legs. Your core aches with need, and you step toward him, wrapping your hand around his thick length.

Yeosang groans, his head falling back as you stroke him. You take the opportunity to place hungry kisses along his neck and collarbone, before trailing down to his muscular chest. Your tongue darts out, flicking his nipple, and he shudders in response.

"God, baby, you're driving me wild," he murmurs, gripping your hips and pulling you even closer.

"I want you," you whisper, your eyes shining with desire. "I want to feel you inside me."

With gentle but eager hands, he lifts you, pressing you against the mattress, your legs wrapped around his waist. Slowly, teasingly, he guides himself into you, filling you inch by inch. You moan loudly, your head falling back as you feel him stretch and fill you.

"So fucking tight and wet for me," Yeosang groans, rolling his hips, the movement sending delicious sensations coursing through your veins. "So fucking perfect."

You move with him, matching his rhythm, each thrust sending sparks of ecstasy through your body. You grip his strong shoulders, holding on for dear life as your passion grows. Your voices ring through the air, a mixture of moans and cries as the pleasure mounts.

Your toes begin to curl, your muscles beginning to tighten as your release grows ever closer. "Fuck, Yeosang," you gasp.

"Yes, baby," he growls, thrusting deeper, hitting that sweet spot inside you.

"Harder," you pleaded, your nails digging into his shoulders.

His hands find your ass cheeks, squeezing roughly, his hips smashing into yours, taking him even deeper than ever before. "You sure? You want more?"

"Oh god, yes," you whimpered, your eyes rolling back as his cock drags across that sensitive spot again.

With another sharp thrust, you can feel your release building within you, white-hot and desperate. Yeosang can feel your walls tightening around him, and his movements become almost frantic, driving the both of you closer to the edge.

"Y/N, you're so fucking good," he moans, his voice low and deep. "You like it when I fuck you like this? You like the way my cock fills you, stretches you?"

"Oh god, Yeosang, yes!" you cry, the filthy words spilling from his lips driving your pleasure higher than ever.

Yeosang grips your ass tighter, his fingers sinking into your flesh, as he picks up the pace. With each powerful thrust, he hits the deepest parts of you, sending waves of unadulterated ecstasy rushing through your body.

"That's right," he groans. "Come for me, Y/N. Come all over my cock."

"Oh, Yeosang...oh, fuck...I'm gonna...I'm..." Your words trail off into a loud cry as you feel your orgasm wash over you like a tidal wave. Pleasure crashes through every inch of your being, rippling through your core and leaving you weak and trembling.

Yeosang can feel your pulsing walls tightening around his throbbing cock, and it's more than he can bear. With a few last, savage thrusts, he finds his release, his hot seed shooting inside you, filling you completely. His hips stutter to a stop as his release washes through him, and he collapses on top of you, spent and utterly satisfied.

The two of you lay there in each other's arms, breathing ragged and hearts racing. For several moments, there is nothing but blissful silence. Finally, Yeosang speaks, breaking the tranquil stillness of the room.

"Y/N..." he trails off, shaking his head as a small, wondering laugh leaves his lips. "That was unbelievable."

You laugh along with him, feeling light-hearted and joyful. "You were pretty unbelievable yourself," you murmur, snuggling closer into him, breathing in the heady, masculine scent that lingers on his skin. "But honestly," you continue, smiling up at him, "I think I've got you beat. There's nothing like sex after yoga."

He raises an eyebrow. "No?" he says teasingly.

You shake your head, giggling as his fingertips trace idle patterns on your naked back. "Nope," you reply, your tone mischievous. "Nothing beats that feeling of relaxation, that deep satisfaction and contentment, knowing your body is now completely in tune with itself."

"That sounds pretty intense," he muses, nuzzling your neck, the warmth of his breath sending tingles along your spine. "And you know what? I can get down with intense. How do you feel now, after...all that?" he asks, his gaze meeting yours, full of heat and curiosity.

You pretend to consider, your brows furrowing in thought, before a wicked grin curls your lips. "Pretty damn incredible."

A pleased hum rumbles in his throat and a devilish twinkle appears in his eyes. "I guess I'll have to start coming to your class more often then," he murmurs, bending to capture your lips with his.

Your kiss is gentle and lingering, filled with emotion and understanding. After a few moments, you reluctantly pull back. "You sure about that? Might give everyone the wrong impression."

"Let them look." He smiles, kissing you deeply.

His warmth envelops your naked form as he wraps his arm around your back, his other hand settling over your breast, giving it a playful squeeze.

With your bodies tangled together, limbs entwined, you forget all about the outside world and lose yourselves in each other's company. You drift off to sleep, safe and comforted in Yeosang's embrace.

[jjkamochoso]

Hihi!! You probably have a lot of requests, so if you're too busy, no worries! I was just wondering if you could do a little fluff oneshot with Sanemi where the reader is sick and he can't kiss, hug, or be near them. I love your past Sanemi fluffs so much, he holds my heart in a chokehold. Again, if you can't write it, that's okay, thank you so much, and I love your writings 💚💚💚

Hi anon!! Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m so happy you’ve liked my past works!!🥰❤️ your request is absolutely adorable😭😭 as someone who always gets sick, this request was perfect for me and brought me comfort so I hope it does the same for you!! Wishing you good health for the rest of the year!!!

Also, just for future reference, I will NEVER be too busy for your guys' requests!! It may take me a while to get to them, but they will never be ignored!! You're all too precious to me for that🥰

Save Me from My Sickness

Fluff

Sanemi Shinazugawa x sick!gn!reader

Warnings: cussing, mentions of cold/flu symptoms (snot, nausea, vomiting [not detailed], etc.)

You knew you were sick from the moment you opened your eyes and took your first conscious breath of the morning.

Tried to take your first conscious breath of the morning, that is.

Your throat burned with the rage of a thousand dragons; it felt like you were swallowing hot coals. Breathing out of your nose was no better with the way both nostrils were almost completely blocked. You groaned, throwing yourself into a nasty coughing fit.

"Are you alright in there? It sounds like a damn infirmary," Sanemi teased from the other room. Unable to answer, you fought for breath while mucus rattled somewhere in your chest.

"I was joking, you don't have to give me the silent treatment," your boyfriend scoffed, sliding the door open to your bedroom. His demeanor completely changed when he got a good look at you: eyes rimmed with red, nose dripping with snot, fighting for your life on the futon. Sanemi practically ran out of the room to fetch fresh water for you as you desperately needed a drink to calm your throat. When he returned, you had finally been able to catch your breath. You gulped down the cup he poured for you.

"Hey, hey, slow down, it's not goin' anywhere," he said, rubbing a hand on your back. You finished the water, silently crying at the way the liquid only further irritated your throat.

"You look like shit," he commented, earning a nasty glare from you as you blew your nose.

"I think I'm sick," you proclaimed, scooting your body away from him. His purple eyes watched you with curiosity.

"I know you're sick," he retorted. "Even Himejima could see that. Why are you moving away from me like I'm the one with germs?"

"Because," you chided, "I can't get you sick. You're a Hashira. People need you, Sanemi."

"You need me right now."

"I'll survive. They won't."

Sanemi let out a sound reminiscent of a growl. "I hate that you're right. I can't just leave you here by yourself, though. You probably would die."

You rolled your eyes, smiling slightly. "Go train like usual. I'll rest up here. I'm sure I'll be back on the mend in no time."

Sanemi hesitantly stood, his inner voice at war with itself. On one hand, you had a point. The Corps couldn't afford to have him out of commission with whatever nasty virus you were currently hosting. On the other, how could he be expected to go about his day without getting his coveted good morning kiss from you?

"I'll come check on you in a few hours. Just... don't die on me, okay?"

You knew he was only half joking.

"Okay."

You started coughing again, your throat unhappy with usage. Lying back down with a groan, you snuggled under your blankets as Sanemi watched on, his heart panging with uneasiness. He knew of too many good people taken by illness; he be damned if you were next.

"Rest well, y/n," he whispered, his voice softer than he thought himself capable of. His words hung in the air of the stale room rife with sickness. Feeling overwhelmed and at a loss of what to do, Sanemi took your advice and went back to his daily routine.

Your absence was painfully obvious to the Wind Hashira. Though you weren't a demon slayer, you often helped with his training and, over time, became a staple in his success. Without you, Sanemi's training grounds were an absolute mess and almost impossible to use.

He had only been outside for an hour before the whole place looked like a tornado had run through it. Frustrated with his lack of progress and his lack of you, Sanemi decided to check in on you and make sure you were still alive. He walked into the bedroom and his heart began to pound against his scarred chest. You were awake but you were a shivering mess. Your teeth chattered against one another as you huddled under your thin blanket, looking like you were about to keel over any moment.

"C-could you get-t me another b-blanket, please?" you asked, your voice raspy.

"Of course," he nodded, rounding up every spare blanket you two had. He approached you, soft textiles in hand, but you signaled him to stop.

"Don't get any closer. You can just throw them to me."

Sanemi scoffed. "I'm not hitting you in the face with blankets no matter how much I want to sometimes. Let me at least wrap you up."

You tried to argue but you had no energy left. He worked quickly, tucking you in to ensure no warm air would escape. As he backed away, satisfied with his work, he noticed a thin sheen of sweat covering your forehead. Despite your protests, he leaned over and touched the back of his hand to your head.

You definitely had a fever.

Sanemi pulled his hand away as if he had gotten burned. Without a word, he found a washcloth and soaked it in cold water, gingerly laying it across your forehead. He noticed your shoulders relax with the sensation of coolness as it was attempting to lower your body heat. He thought back to his childhood, trying to remember what else his mom used to do for him and his siblings when they fell ill.

He stood from his previous kneeling position. "I'm going to make some soup. Yell if you need me."

"No really, you don't have to do all this for me. I feel bad enough."

Sanemi didn't say a word; he didn't have to. His deadly glare made your mouth clamp shut.

"I know, you wouldn't do it if you didn't want to," you said meekly after a moment of silence.

"And you're damn right I want to," he replied, leaving you to rest by yourself once more.

You woke up a few hours later to the delicious smell of soup wafting through the mansion. Sanemi came in, a steaming bowl in his hands. He set it down next to you, watching you with his arms crossed as you stubbornly hoisted yourself up so that he wouldn't come near you.

"I can help, you know," he snarked.

"Diseases are spread through close contact, you know," you snarked back, earning an eye roll from the man. He didn't move from his spot the entire time you slurped down your first meal of the day, thanking whatever gods were out there that you hadn't lost your appetite. When you were done he cleared your dish and came back into your room, not wanting you to be left alone for too long. Apparently, he was the one left alone--you were nowhere to be seen. Panic set in as he called out your name, wondering where you could've gone in such a short time and in your condition. His question was answered when he saw you on your knees, bent over with your head facing the toilet.

"C'mon, my cooking isn't that bad," he said, trying to lighten the mood. He wasn't prepared to see your tear stained cheeks as you looked up at him, your mouth trembling.

"Sanemi, I really don't feel good. You need to leave before I puke."

He was taken aback. "Leave you here by yourself? No way."

You let out a soft whimper as you settled on the bathroom floor. "But this is really gross. I'm really gross."

More tears began to fall, leaving glistening trails down your face. There was no way Sanemi could keep his distance from you now. You needed someone to comfort you and he was the only one that could provide you with the sense of security you so desperately needed. He wasted no time, scooping you into his arms and holding you tight as you cried. He didn't let go, even when you really did throw up, not wanting you to feel like you had to go through this alone. He tenderly wiped your face of leftover drool, showing a more nurturing side of him that he forgot he had.

But he'd never forget about it when it came to you.

"I'm sorry you've had to take care of me," you sniffled between coughs, trying not to cry again. "I'm a complete mess."

"Your mess is the only one I don't mind cleaning," he replied easily, keeping your frame held snug against his chest.

"Why?"

"Because." Sanemi paused before continuing. "Because I love you. And that means I'd do anything for you. I want to be by your side always, even if that means I have to listen to mucus filled coughs and soup being puked into a toilet."

"You're such a romantic, Shinazugawa," you said, blowing your nose into a tissue.

Sanemi procured another tissue for you from his pocket, discarding your old one. "Only for you, dumbass."

TAGLIST: @kana-daydreams

[badmilkk]

Srry for sending asks I just think ur cool. What do u think of catcher in the rye? Obviously u liked it cuz ur drawing for it but I've been debating reading it n need that extra push so was there anything specific you liked abt it that you'd tell someone else abt to get them into it

omg omg YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES READ IT NOW. NOW!!!!! It makes me very excited that people write these kinds of things to me aaaa.

{btw, thank you very much for the other message from before, I love peanuts, it's quite a compliment to me ❤️}

Well, I don't know if you have read the synopsis or have heard one or another urban legend, but I assure you that there is nothing better than reading it because it is nothing like what they paint it to you. It is a wonderful book that is written with a tremendous sense of reality, without reservations, without censorship. Warning that it may be somewhat depressing but there are parts that will make you laugh a lot too. It is a book that leads you to reflect on life, makes you think of the path you want to choose in it. Holden is all teenagers and, some adults too, who are lost in life and feel misunderstood. It will help you feel less alone too. I highly recommend it, it's one of my favorites. Once you start, you won't be able to stop. It is an easy and addictive read. When I read the first sentence I knew I was going to like it and damn, I did. Also, to know why it is called The Catcher in the Rye you need to read it... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??

If in the end you decide to read it or you finish it or even if you finish it halfway, it doesn't matter, write to me again!!! I would like to know what you decide to do in the end and your opinion <)

[g-glitchy-v2]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ EYYYYY lemme get ur attention w a smol Horror sans 🙏

(I already post this little art/sketch on my main account, i know, but i couldn't find any other silly drawing that i made about original sanses so i had to add this 😞 But i might change this with something else (if i draw, of course-) Anyways now read the shits i write down here :D (If you want, of course 🎉🦕🔥💥🐬)

──── ୨୧ ────

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Posted this in my main acc too, but i want thiz thing to be here too- SOOOO— Im Glitchy. Glitchy, G-Glitchy, Glitxhy, or maybe even G. My pronouns are She/Her. And im a minor, but i wont tell my age here cuz i don't want to💥 I may act childish or smth, but not sure. Just know i can't be serious about anything(but still can be in some spesific topics). Im a god damn lifeless artist that almost draws smth everyday and i can't stop- English isn't my native language, but no i also don't use translate 7/24, so sometimes i may make some grammar issues- but you'll probably see them bc i type so fast and sometimes don't realize i made a mistake.

~

I've been in this shitty but also awesome Undertale fandom for a pretty long time. There's lots of things i love and hate about this damn fan base, but that's not the topic rn- Soooo, since i've been in this fandom, OF COURSE I ALSO MADE AU'S- actually, i made a whole new multiverse- Idk how i did this when people out here struggling to make a proper au- Let's say my creativity might get crazy sometimes- Anyways- So basically i have a multiverse, and im currently working on reference sheets. BUT IT'S TAKING TOO LONNGGGGGGG- cuz instead of only drawing Sanses, i also draw all the monsters(if the au has them) detailed so it's taking more longer. I also have lots of shits happening in my life and sadly i don't have a supportive family so it's taking too long to finish my drawings sometimes. Like i said, currently im working on reference sheets. So i'll be focused on making them, which means i won't be drawing normal drawings etc. regularly. This account is only for reference sheets, cuz it would be so messy if i post all the references and arts in only one account- I'll post my arts in my main acc, but maybe post some arts in here too, just not too sure.

~

About my au's, or multiverse, well, it's not big as the original one, of course, but i have a main au, and side au's. The main one is UnderNova, and since it's the main au, the multiverse is called "UnderNova". The side au's are basically;

- MemoryTale

- MemorySwap

- DarkTale

- UnderGlitch (Yeah they already got the Glitchtale name dang it 😞)

- BeatsTale

- SplashTale

- UnderTime

- FairyTale (And FairyTale au's)

- FairySwap

- FairyFell

- FairyShift

- SwapFairy

(I also have a Royal au, Halloween au and Shattered Mirror Verse(SMV) au :D)

—

Im not sure if there's already some au's with these names, im too bad at giving names to au's- but i don't think it would affect anything since this is a seperated multiverse. Im not gonna talk about the whole lore here, cuz it's too hard to explain one without putting another one in since all of them are connected in a way, and im getting distracted so easly so im not really able to keep the topic in my hands. But y'all will learn it in the reference sheets so no problem :D

~

SOOOO, i already finished the reference sheets of MemoryTale, but since it was my first time doing a reference sheet, they kinda look a bit bad- I think MemorySwap references looks more better ngl- After MemorySwap, there's DarkTale, UnderGlitch, BeatsTale, SplasTale and UnderTime, and these au's have small amount of monsters, so i don't think it'll take too long to finish them. FairyTale/FairyTale au's monsters gonna have pretty different desings since it wouldn't hurt to make small changes. Even though UnderNova is the main au, there's lots of things like new animal/plant types, some important buildings, mystic items, zones, a book where i'll draw the important characters that was in UnderNova's history, and a whole map- And i'll have to draw these all- There's also multiple Sanses in this au, so OF COURSE IT'S GONNA TAKE TOO LONG- Which is why i left UnderNova to final. It's gonna be a final boss for me- And im cooked-

~

Anyways! It's all i wanted to say for now ig- this was kinda like a introduction thing- I might post this on my main acc too- If you're insterested, idk- do whatever you want ig- UnderTale fans were starving for smth new so I'LL BE YOUR SAVIOR🗣🔥 I hope people likes my multiverse, cuz i already made too many things and i can't just put these all to trash ;^; Btw, sorry if there's any grammar mistakes in this LONG shi, normally i would check but im too lazy for it rn- But i'll probably edit this again and again so it doesn't matters much ig- 🎉

_

-> About MemoryTale :D

-> About MemorySwap :D

(Gonna add the other ones later-)

Finished ones Currently working on

- MemoryTale - DarkTale (WIP)

- MemorySwap

_

Kinda got bored sooo i think i'll use here to write what im currently doing so y'all can know what's im working on– (I hope i won't forget to update- (WEEEEEEEEE I love making the texts colorful🎉)

_

Currently working on | The ones left

-> Soul(Sans) -> BC! Papyrus

(Unable to continue -> DT! Frisk

due some problems)

_

My main acc: @g-glitc-hyy

──── ୨୧ ────

[adventuringblind]

Flowers in your throat

Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Genre: Angst

Summary: the problems of unrequited love

Warnings: hanahaki disease, blood, coughing

Notes: idk what this is... Does anybody wanna spam my inbox with things to write over break? Logan is on the list, but I'm blanking on ideas for the boy T_T

Masterlist

Flowers. Beautiful things that each have their own meanings. One that even color plays into.

Beautiful amd deadly things, these Flowers. She can't even stomache the sight of them anymore. Not when they are the source of her current misery.

A misery she has yet to understand. Is one not enough for her? Will Lando hate her for loving more then just him? Is she really that greedy?

Her driving had suffered because of her lack of focus. She's coughing over the radio now and her engineer has started to notice. Her trainer even more so with how sick she looks.

She doesn't want Lando to find her like this. Maybe she doesn't even like Oscar and this is because of the loving looks and gentle touch he's been sharing with her boyfriend. Is she jealous? In a way yes, but she wants that from both of them. She coughs up another petal at the thought.

Hopefully Lando isn't awake. She'd been on the floor of the Hilton bathroom for at least an hour now. Her mind running through all her options. How she might be able to fix this.

Death is the easiest option in the long run. The surgery would hurt Lando as she would struggle with any kind of love afterwards. Oscar loving her back is another, but again, how would Lando react?

She'd yet to even open up to him about the idea of polyamoury. To scared from past encounters and getting hurt. Easier just to ignore anything else. The words of her last partner rings through her ears. 'It's either one or the other' but never both. How can she have such a love for two people to the point it's killing her?

The door creaks open. She panics and tries to hide from Lando's worried gaze. He still ends up on the floor with her.

"Please talk to me."

"I can't. You're going to leave me."

"Whatever this is, we'll figure it out, okay? But we can't even begin to work on it if I have no idea what's going on." And he's right. For as chaotic as he is, Lando has always wanted to work through things together.

"I'm not - well - before I start I should say I love you dearly with every fiber of my being."

"Is this a break up?"

"No!" She shouts a little to loudly and quickly. Lando looks a bit startled but calms we he sees just how panicked she is. "I don't want us to break up - I just know that you won't want me anymore."

The thoughts of Lando leaving her flood her mind. Having to watch him and Oscar be teammates while she watches from afar. Her body wracks with coughs again as another petal comes up, pretty but splatters in red.

"Is that-?"

"Hanahaki, unrequited love."

"But I do love you so then..." He takes a moments to process. "It's not me is it?"

"My parents always told me my heart was to big." She inhales shakily. "It's Oscar."

"Since when? How long do we have before-" He doesn't finish the sentence.

"A have a few months left maximum. I'm already two months in."

"Silverstone."

"I'd already been fond of him before that but watching the two of you smile together like that." Tears slip past her eyes as she tries to stop the burning in her chest. "I'm so sorry and I understand if you leave. It's not like you signed up for this."

"I'm not leaving you. I don't care who else you love as long as I'm here with you. Plus, it's Oscar, I'd be lying if I said I don't have any feelings for him." Lando Admits with a shrug.

"Really?"

"I know you love me, too much, probably. If this is what loving you means then I'll be here every damn step."

She throws herself into Lando's arms, curling into the warmth of his body. And for the first time on two months, she cries in relief.

~~~~~

On the other side of things, Oscar isn't fairing any better. The constant scratch of his throat has started in August. Over the summer break when he had to bare witness to Lando and his girlfriends pictures.

He couldn't tell who he was more jealous of, or if he was jealous at all. Both, he was jealous of both because he wants to be with both of them. It's illogical, he thinks, that he should want two partners so desperately. They are committed to each other, why would they want him as well?

Lando is once again on the podium his female counterpart part there to congratulate him. Eyes shining as they smile at each other. The itch in his throat is to much. It burns in his chest as his lungs try to fight for air.

He runs back to the garage after getting weighed. Just in time to collapse onto the floor of his driver's room. Petals fall from his lips. Beautiful and soaking in red fluid.

He's still struggling to breathe when his door flys open. Logan amd Liam swim in his vision and ears. They drag him off the floor and get him upright again.

They clean him op and sit with him until Kim comes to get him for debrief. The older male looks horribly concerned. Lando also looks at him with something he can't pinpoint while sitting through the meeting. It's enough to make his chest burn again just knowing Lando is even looking at him.

Logan and Liam come knocking at his door that night. They want answers and rightfully so. He tells them, coughing on the bathroom floor while doing so.

"Have you talked to them?"

"No, why would they want me Lo?"

Liam hands him more water and pratically forces him to drink it. "Have you seen the way they look at you?"

And no, he hasn't, only how people say he himself looks helplessly in love.

How would they look at him now? In disgust? Maybe pity?

Shame he may never find out.

~~~~~

Another hard race. Las Vegas had messed them all up in some way shape or form. She couldn't breathe knowing Lando had crashed to hard. She coughed an entire petal up during the yellow flags just thinking about how he must be feeling.

She's been coughing up whole flowers recently. Tonight was no exception. Lando, despite being on heavy painkillers, was desperately trying to help her through a few larger ones.

She was barely eating anymore. Couldn't breathe. Her teammate had even noticed the drastic change in her appearance. Max and Christian had both been on her case. Third seemed so far away now as Lando tries to get water down her throat.

"I don't want you to die."

"And I don't want to live without love."

Lando manages to pull himself off the floor to answer the door. Mumbling about how it's probably Jon making sure he's alright.

She can hear the familiar voices of Oscar and Logan through the thin walls.

Oscar sounds rough. She blames it on the long race he had. He'd looked so tired coming out of the car, hands running through his hair.

Her lungs burn again. It's more so this time. Her entire body is on fire. She can't even cough properly and wails as she has to pull out whatever is in her throat.

A stem. One with thorns.

Lando is frantically pleading with Oscar and Logan for something. Oscar is also coughing. Enough that is worsens her own.

She coughs again. Another stem feels like it's tearing her open from the inside. She wails at the stinging pain. Panic overcomes her as it seems to never end.

The door swings open. Lando and Logan drag in a coughing Oscar.

He's in the same boat as her. He's been suffering this whole time.

"Logan who is it?! Please, I need to know." Lando is begging now. The sight of what's happening can't be helping his nerves.

"It's you two, both of you I think. He didn't say exactly."

She tunes out anything else. It's them. He is feeling this because of them. She coughs up the rest of the stem and the burning starts to fade.

But then the exhaustion hits. She wants to tell Oscar everything. Enough so he doesn't have to cough up thorns like herself.

She passes out before she can.

~~~~~

Oscar wakes up in bed. One that definitely isn't his own. He tries to sit up, but his body is depleted still. Noticeably, his lungs feel lighter then they have in months. The ache in his chest has lessened, but his love for the two is still there. If this isn't the work of a surgery then-

He sits up frantically, searching for something. Someone, more like. A hand on his shoulder pushes him back down.

"Relax, we're still here." It's Lando and his partner is on the other side of Oscar. She's dead asleep and rightfully so after what he witnessed her cough up.

"Where's Logan?"

"Asleep on the couch. He didn't want to leave you."

"And you - do you and her - are we?" His words are broken. He can't think properly.

"Caught feeling a while ago, mate. Her before I realized myself. She loves hard, enough to cough up flowers, apparently." Lando crawls into the space between Oscar and the female. Oscar, in his sleepy haze, latches onto Lando. He feels better being apart of whatever cuddle pile this is.

He falls back to sleep so easily. Only to be woken up later by a few frantic coughs. Lando is immediately trying to get the female out of bed and to the sink. She claims she's fine and it's confirmed by the lack of petals.

"It's from what the thorns did." Her voice sounds wrecked. Oscar tries to get up to help only to be pushed back again by Logan. Curse his exhaustion.

The American gets everyone water. Oscar is grateful for it as it soothes his still sore throat.

"So does this mean you three are going to be together then?" Logan raises an eyebrow.

"If either of them say no after this, I'm throwing hands. After the hell they've put me through I will force them to cuddle if need be."

[sonnet009games]

I just finished reading the new chapter - a tiny bit late for once since I was busy with stuff - and damn... I'm actually sitting here and legit crying.

I know you won't be able to respond to it for a few more days for spoiler reasons but...

Yeah, it was such an awesome chapter. I love how it was as expected when it comes to the detective, and that the appartment - in the case of mine - became even more empty and sterile than before. And it was just so... incredibly emotional to just see that spark of life come back in the morning, at the end of the chapter.

Also, I really enjoyed the gorta fight! AND the fact I managed to deduce who was the culprit, even if I didn't know the full truth about what was happening. It was the fact Flea mentionned he disappeared right when HE came into the picture that tipped me off! But back to the fight, it was really cool to see that with time, the detective DOES become better at fighting demons. And that "oh shit" moment with the blood? Brilliant. The slight moment of delay between the "well that's a hunger demon for you" and "DAMN we know just WHAT are the effects of incubus blood" was perfection!

The whole tone of the chapter was so so bleak, especially with a detective who feels so extremely guilty and is so openly depressed about the whole thing. I guess the tone is quite different for a detective who betrayed Flea, but mine didn't so it was just plain awkward but without "true reason" (well, obviously there are a lot of reasons for the awkwardness, but neither Flea nor my detective did anything bad per se).

One thing that amuses me to no end is to imagine the sheer shit Ted is going to give the detective when he learns about Flea actually moving in. I'm sure he'll go feral over it with the teasing. Though I imagine he'll be happy too.

Oh by the way, I have a question this time - a proper one, not only gushing over the new content! It's a bit of a random one though, not directly related to this chapter's content (I don't mind waiting for the moment you can actually post this though). So, we know incubi and succubi are called different words depending on gender. But so far, it seems it isn't the case for the other demon types we've met. Now, obviously I imagine from a writing PoV you just did it that way because these are demons we know and "it's like that" in reality. But I wonder if in the setting of your IF, some other demon types are called different names based on gender, or is it exclusively an incubus/succubus thing. Yeah, it's the most random of questions, I know!

Anyway, just thank you for this chapter (and this whole IF, really)! I can't even begin to describe just how many emotions each chapter brings me. It's without any doubts one of my favorite IF - and even one of my favorite games I've ever played!

I was thinking about tropes I really love and if/how I might be able to fit them into the game, and ‘sex pollen’ was right up there on the list. I’m glad I got to use a variation on one of my favourites. ^_^

As for your question: You’re right that having incubi/succubi separated by gender was an out-of-universe choice based on the recognisability of the terms. In-universe, sex demons (all demons, in fact) are on a broad gender spectrum that will at times defy binary classification.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful messages and kind words! <3

[mishmosh-chaos]

|| Vampire Academy Oneshot/Fanfiction ||

Characters: Dimitri Belikov x reader

Word count: 5k + (yes yes, I know it's long!)

Warnings: beside some swearing, I believe there is non, but feel free to correct me!

A/N: Hello, hello! 👋 Ok, I have no idea if anyone will read this, but oh well, here I am nonetheless. Just some info first: you don't know me, but I write, on both my main blog and this side blog, too. I love the VA books, and reading them again recently brought me here. I watched the movie long time ago, but the seria, nope, and I won't. Also, I absolutely adore Rose and Dimitri duo, they are perfect one for another! And even though I sometimes do write "original character's stuff, it is not the case here, so feel free to skip this, no hard feelings! Oh, and as I suck with titles, I left that blank, too! 😅

All right, that's it I guess. To whoever might read this, hope you'll enjoy it. And please, as english is not my main language, don't mind any mistake you might stumble upon!

You stood near the desk in the small office where all guardian business took care of. Guardian Alberta Petrov was sitting behind the desk, and as she finished signing your papers, she stand up streching her hand towards you „All done! It is a pleasure to have you with us, Guardian Y/N.“

You shake her hand back „The pleasure is mine! It's been a long time since I was last involved in something similar, I hope I won't dissapoint you.“

Alberta regards you respectfully „Well, despite your sudden leave of absence, considering your exceptional status and who your reference is, I doubt that.“ You couldn't help a chuckle escape you, knowing exactly who she was speaking of.

Leaning down you pick up your bags, Alberta handing you your room key. You were almost through the doors when she calls back „Guardian Y/N, one more thing.“

You stop and turn to look at her a little intrigued „Yes?“

„I know your classes don't start till Monday, and I know you just got here, but I'm sure that neither our novices, nor their instructor would mind some special education.“

A smile creep on your lips „I absolutely agree with you.“

Alberta nods in respond, her face shoving she was glad you understood her intention „You will find him at the training area. His next class begins in an hour.“

~

As you made your way across St. Vladimir's courtyard to the traing area excitement started to fill you. But it wasn't only that you felt. How long was it since you last saw him?

Two damn long! your own voice answered in your mind as if chastising you. You knew that voice was right, but you try to dismiss that acusatory feeling away. You had a damn good reason for you absence! At least that's what you thought.

Entering the training area, it didn't take you long to find the right hall. Even though he was with his back to you, you would recognize him anytime, anywhere.

Silently leaning on the door fram and watching him, you couldn't help but smile. His serious voice and tough demeanor, as he walked around his students correcting their mistakes as they sparred, was something you admired him for. He took his role very serious, his experience was vast and they were all very lucky to have him as their instructor.

You waited patiently to reveal your presence, and when once again he chastised his trainees on some mistake, you decide it is time „You know, Guardian Belikov, I have a feeling you have trouble reaching your students.“

Everyone stopped to look at you as you finished speaking, their faces not able to hide astonishment at the fact you just had the courage to question their instructor. But your focus was on him, and even though it lasted just a second and nobody else probably noticed, his body language betrayed him, your smile only growing bigger. I can still surprise him! you thought amused, watching as he finally turns to face you.

Dimitri's attention was now fully directed at you, and damn, those gorgeous dark eyes of his were staring so intensely at you, you began to think how this might not be your greatest idea. But it was too late to back up now.

Dimitri stayed silent, the novices exchanging glances between you two, but you didn't need to look directly at any of them to know they were anxious and excited to find out what was going on here.

„Is that so?“ he finally say not moving from his spot, to all around surely sounding unphased by your previous statement. But you knew him so well, noticing the same excitement on his face as his novices had. He read right through you, that excitement mixing with curiosity to see how you'll continue this charade on.

„It definitely looks so.“ you shrug casually before adding with a touch of dissapointment „Which is a shame, as I was convinced it would be worth my time to chek this particular class out.“

You knew he vasn't taking your words to heart, and now your eyes flashed excitedly as he took a few steps towards you „And how would you try to do that yourself, if you don't mind sharing your wisdon with us, miss...“

„Guardian,“ you quickly correct detaching from the door frame and moving toward him „and perhaps, a live demonstration would be a better way for your students to learn something?“

You come to a standstill a few steps away from him, tilting your head slightly to the side, your eyes firmly fixed on him the entire time, and you barely kept a straight face as you heard gasps escape the novices around you „If, ofcourse, you don't find my proposition too...challenging.“

Being this close to him sent shivers through your body. You forgot how god-like and gorgeous Dimitri was, his intoxicating smell wrapping around you like a spell, you fought hard to keep yourself focused.

With his face now completely hidden from the novices around you, you saw a smile form on his lips before his body tensed, and it seemed he was moving with that godly speed of his as he leaped towards you in an atempt to catch you off guard. And he almost did succeed. Almost.

You barely had time to evade his blow, quickly composing yourelfs, your combat instincts kicking in. He was now facing the novices but his eyes never left you. „Lesson one,“ he says amusement clear in his voice „never let your guard down.“

What followed then was a show and a half! You both had eyes only for one another, unbothered of what was happening around you. And you didn't go easy on eachother, with each move as if trying to challenge eachother more, not worrying at all how each hit you did manage to land might definitely leave  a mark.

You were both that good, moving gracefully and with such finess around the hall, not giving much thought how those around you stared in admiration and awe. And you certainly didn't notice the crowd gathering at the door trying to see the spectacle that was happening inside.

You honestly didn't know how much time passed, and oh boy, you were sure you could go on for hours more like this. But a voice suddenly brought you to a stop as a furious guy managed to push himself through the crowd at the door „Belikov! What in the hell is going on here?!“

Dimitri and you both stopped in a flash turning towards the door. You were both breathing heavy from the fight, but in a matter of seconds he was composed and back in that obidient guardian mode of his „My apologies, Guardian Alto. We were just showing the novices some...moves.“

You shake your head and chuckle. It amazed you how easy it was for him to quickly find the right words to any sittuaition. Alto's eyes finally turn to you, and his stare didn't seem that friendly at the moment „And who might you be?“

Dimitri look at you and you both smile, an understanding passing between you. You nod to him and he turns back to Hans, that smile still on his face „This is Guardian Y/N, our new instructor. And a very dear friend of mine.“

~

The crowd finally cleared, after some more formal introduction to a few guardians and smiles from excited novices as they said their goodbyes, leaving Dimitri and you alone at last.

„You should have informed me about your arrival.“ he pass you a bottle of water before sliding down the wall to sit next to you.

„No way!“ you exclime „Did you see how your students gazed at you with admiration? And not only them.“

Dimitri laugh with full force „You're wrong here – it certainly wasn't me who they were admireing.“

Shifting your body slightly to look better at him you teas „I'm sorry, but is that – is that a hint of jelousy I sense here?“

He laughs again, this time shaking his head „You haven't changed a bit. I should have expected something like this from you.“

„Of course you should have!“ you laugh „It wasn't that long we last saw eachother for you to forget my love of making a grand entrance.“

Now it was his time to turn and look at you, and dear gods, those gorgeous eyes of his regarded you with so much emotions behind them, and you clearly recognized sorrow, even if he tried to hide it. You curse inside, scolding yourself instantly.

A year. Almost a whole year passed since you last saw eachother, and you realized just now, as he gazed  at you that it pained him just as much as it did you.

With a sigh he turns his head from you, his gaze now fixed on the window in front of him. „I won't push you to talk,“ he starts after a moment, and you were grateful he broke the silence that started to get uncomfortable. „I know you will when you're ready. But I will say one thing –„ his eyes were now back on you and he once more smile with his whole face „I am really happy you're here, Y/N“

~

Dimitri still had some classes left for the day, but he informed you he cleared his schedule for the weekend to show you around and so you could catch up, wich made you happy. And, honestly after this little show of yours, you wouldn't mind a shower and some rest.

After the shower you put on your sleeping shirt and shorts and get into bed. But sleep refused to come as Dimitri's words slip into your mind. And you knew he was right – the topic of your sudden leave of absence will eventually be discussed, and it actually scared you. Will you be able to finally tell him the truth?

You knew Dimitri since you were kids, growing up in the same place. He was two years older, but you clicked from the first time you saw eachother, spending all of your free time together. He was always there for you, ready to go through fire if needed to save you from anything, or any one. Not that you needed it much, but when you think back now, most of the times he was there to save you from yourself and your crazy ideas. And you were there for him, too, in the same way.

You both shared a dream to become guardians, and doing all that, side by side with him, was the best time of your life. And that was when things started to get complicated, at least for you. Because, somewhere along the line, you fell in love with him. Hard. And you knew that was going to be a big problem.

You always knew how much Dimitri wanted to become a guardian. There was so much passion in him whenever you two talked about it, even as kids. You wanted to become one, too, there was no doubt about that. But the way he spoke about it, it was astounding.

And you were affraid to say anything to him about your feelings. And how could you?! His long wishful dream was coming to life, and who were you to tell him about your feelings and sway that in any possible way? Sure, times have changed, and Dhampirs getting together wasn't something that was that much looked upon with rejection and disapproval, and honestly, you had no knowledge of what Dimitri's thoughts were on that subject, as you never really talked about it.

And beside, it didn't matter, as you were positive he didn't feel anything even slightly remotely close to what you did. But what you were most afraid of was, that if you did mention anything to him, you would loose your best friend, the other half of your soul, for sure. And you certainly didn't want that, no matter how much it pained you.

So you did the only thing that seemed logical to you at that moment – you left.

Well, you didn't leave the guardians all together, you just kinda took a break from it, going back home under some lame excuse. Dimitri didn't believe your excuse at that time, neither. And it got pretty heated between you the day before you left, shattering your heart to pieces. Because, at the end, he didn't try to stop you from leaving, like really try, and that was the moment where you were quite sure there was no chance that he felt anything even remotely similar as you.

You did keep in touch in the time of your absence, you were best friends after all, not mentioning your departure once, but you haven't saw eachother till today.

So, why did you decide to come back all of a sudden? Well, you believed with all your heart that it didn't matter any more, that your feelings for him weren't there anymore, and you just really wanted your best friend back in your life. So when you heard the position for an instructor opened up at St. Vladimir's, you applied and hoped for the best.

And so, here you were, back to doing what you always dreamed of, and best of all, you had your best friend back. But seeing Dimitri today didn't result with only feelings of happines. Those other feelings, the ones that made your heart beet faster just by knowing he was somewhere close by, came crushing down on you like a wrecking ball making you realize that, no matter how much time you try to spend away from him, can't change the fact you were still very much in love with him.

You curse inside again turning on your side and pulling the covers over your head as if that will somehow magically dispers all your troubles away. With a heavy sigh you shake your head and close your eyes, hoping sleep will come to you afterall.

Damn it, Y/N, what on earth did you get yourself into again!

~

Eventually, sleep did come to you, even if it did last only for a few hours. That still didn't numb your senses, your guardian instincts kicking in the moment there was a knock at your door.

Jumping out of the bed you squint for a moment, the light from the sun hitting your eyes through the window. Another knock came, and you walk to the doors only to be met with Dimitri's inquiring look. Seeing his face, you tense „Crap, what time is it?“

„It depends,„ he starts amusement clear in his voice „if you want breakfast, I would advise you change into something...different. And fast.“

„Meet you downstairs in five!“ you answer hastily, practically slamming the doors to his face and quickly start to undress moving towards your small wardrobe. Three minutes later and all dressed up, you rush outside jumping two-three steps at the time, reaching Dimitri with a grin „Lead the way!“

Dimitri chuckles as he push open the doors leading out from guardian housing for you to pass „You really took my warning seriously.“

„Well, breakfast is the most important meal!“ you reply and turn your head to look at him with an ever bigger grin then before „And I'm really hungry.“

He gives you a quick amused glance, nodding his head in greeting to a few guardians passing you „You are always hungry.“

„Hey, that's not true!“ you protest getting a laugh out of him in response „If you say so.“

Ooh, that beautiful laugh of his, you forgot how enchanting it sounds. And you missed it deeply.

You reach a building where you supposed the cantina was, Dimitri once more opening to doors for you. The place was pretty big, but most of the tables were vacant by now. He told you to choose where you want to sit and left to get some food.

You were seriously worrying if there was anything left to eat, considering the time, as you weren't exaggerating when you said you were hungry. You were starving!

So when Dimitri joined you lowering a tray full of muffins, croissants and pancakes on the table, along with two glases of freshly squeezed orange juice and two cups of coffee you couldn't hide your surprise „I don't remeber food being THIS good in places like this.“

„You remember correct.“ He replies making your eyes reluclanty peel away from all that delicious food to him. A small smile start to grow on his lips and he leans over the table towards you like he was about to reveal some very hush-hush-top-secret  to you, and very itrigued you do the same „But with the right connections, you can change that.“

You couldn't help but laugh, your laughter echoing around almost empty cantina, making those rare few people still there curiously turn towards you. You shake your head and grab one of the muffins „Dear gods, you have GOT to share those connections with me!“

„Oh, I do?“ he questions with a chuckle leaning back in his chair, watching you take a big bite of your muffin, the soft juicy texture melting in your mouth „Absolutely, it's what friends do. Especially best friends.“

„Do best friends also leave without good reason?“

His words were like ice cold water splashed in your face. You knew this conversation was bound to happen, but he said he wouldn't push you to talk. So why, why was he doing it?

„Dimitri, please, can't we- can't we just leave this for later?“ You didn't dare to look at him, your eyes numbly staring at the half eaten muffin in front of you, its sweet taste now slowly being replaced with a bitter one. „You said you would let it be untill I'm ready to talk about it, you said you won't push it, so please – I beg you, just let it be for now.“

„True, I did say so.“ he begins, and you had trouble reading what he was feeling from his voice alone, but you still dared not to look at him. „It's just – I don't understand.“ Now you clearly could decipher frustration in his voice, but there was also sadness, worry and desperation in it, which only made your heart squeez more. „I couldn't understant it then, and I still don't to this day. So why did you do it?“

You close your eyes affraid that if you slip and look at him, you will break down and cry. Why couldn't he waited at least one day, just one day for you to enjoy spending time with your best friend like it used to be, before it all turns to dust and your life once more gets filled with misery and pain.

You almost jump in your chair when you feel his warm hand gently lowering on yours „Y/N, why won't you talk to me?“

Opening your eyes, you finally get the courage to look at him. And, oh saints, those dark eyes once again stared at you with so much care and worry behind them, you were wondering how your heart was still beating through all the pain you felt.

You knew it was pointless to drag this any longer, it was only a torture for both of you. And even though you were aware that in a moment you would hurt even more, it was time to come clean.

„Ah, Dimitri, there you are!“ a womans voice suddenly reach you and pull you out of your thoughts, and it took you a moment to realized who it belonged to. Alberta was walking towards your table, and as she joined you, you also just then noticed Dimitri's hand wasn't resting on yours any longer. And that kinda sting you for some reason.

„I am very sorry to interupt you.“ Alberta was glancing between you two, apparently not noticing the tension that was radiating from both. Her eyes rest on you now „I'm sure you two had plans, but I'm affraid Guardian Y/N, I have to borrow Dimitri for a while.“

As you sat there pondering weather Alberta's interrupting you was a good thing or not, Dimitri speaking brought you back to focus „That is no problem at all.“

He was looking at her now, and was already begining to stan up ready to leave, which send another sting to you. Was he that eager to get away from you?

„No need to apologize,“ you begin your stare shooting daggers at Dimitri. Two can play this game, my friend!

„We both know how Dimitri takes his obligations seriously. And our little chit chat can certainly wait for a while longer.“

This got him to look at you, but you quickly turn to alberta flashing her your most wide smile „And please, call me Y/N. No need to be so formal, as far as I'm concerned.“

Alberta nod and smile back „I agree. And once again, I really am sorry for this.“ She turns her look to Dimitri „If you're ready?“

Dimitri's gaze was still fixed on you, and you notice him reluclantly turn to her and nod „Let's go.“

When they moved away a bit, you let a shaky but relieved breath out, grateful this was over. But not a heartbeat later your whole body tense as you feel Dimitri sneak behind you leaning down to your ear, his warm breath on your neck sending both goosebumps and shivers through you „This is far from over.“

Damn!

~

As it turned out, Dimitri was occupied for the rest of the day. That left you to explore and get acquainted with St. Vladimir's place by your self. But unfortunately, it also meant it left you alone with your thoughts, too. And as the day was moving closer to its end, you began to lose that courage you had at breakfast more and more.

As you were still on human schedule, you were glad that there weren't so many people as you walked around. You were definitely not in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment, although you did run into Alberta at one point, who informed you about Dimitri and offered to show you around instead. As politely possible you rejected her offer, which didn't seem to bother her, but you did use this opportunity to ask of her a permission to go to a nearby town tomorrow morning for some personal supplies. After it, you did some more exploring, grabbed something to eat and went back to your room as more and more studens and guardians began to emerge around ready to star with their day.

In the morning you learned from the guardina on duty at the main gates that Alberta arranged for you to take one of the cars from the academy. It would be a pain in the butt to get to the nearest town without it, so you were very grateful for it. You should definitely buy that woman something as a way of thanking her for all she'd done for you since you arrived.

The almost two hours long drive was revitalizing on you. It was late spring, and the scenery along the way was kinda serene. You rolled both windows down, letting the soft wind carry the sweet scent of flowers and trees in bloom through the car.

When you reached the town, it didn't take you long to find the only shopping mall there, and you did your supplies run pretty fast. You decided to eat here too, not really having a rushing desire to get back to the academy. And, lets be honest here, a chance to run into Dimitri.

Sipping the coffee after your meal you obsereved the passerbys and their carefree faces. And you envied them on it, knowing what awaits you once you get back. You dreded it, but you knew you had to face Dimitri and tell him the truth, you couldn't keep going on like this. And maybe, when you finally do get everything off of your chest, you can begin to heal and eventually move on. Maybe.

And noticing the time, with a heavy sight you leave some money on the table, gather your stuff and start walking back to the car. It was time to get this over once and for all.

It was almost completely dark when you parked the car back at academy's garage. Taking your stuff you hand the car key to the guardian in charge there and head out. The voices around you became louder as more and more students of both Guardians and Morois left the comforts of their rooms and went on to begin their day.

You head towards the guardian office in search of Alberta, but she wasn't in at the momen, so you leave a little package on her table and grab a paper to write a note expressing your thanks to her. Leaving the building you barely made a few steps when you sense someone approaching you.

„That's where you've been all day? Shopping“ Dimitri say glancing at the bags in your hand.

„Why so surprised?“ you ask back, your question coming out a bit more frustrating than you actually meant to.

„Because I know you,“ he reply and sigh before continuing „and judging by your current mood, I could even dare to imply that you were doing it also as a method to avoid me for the day.“

„Is that so? Huh, what, you read minds now, too?“ you snap back, and almost run full force at Dimitri who suddenly appears in front of you not trying to hide annoyance from his face „All right, Y/N, enough is enough! What is going on with you?!“

„Oh I don't know, why don't you tell me, as you seem to think you know everything!“

You were almost yelling now, your raising voice starting to attract curious glances from the ones passing you by. Dimitri noticed it, too, so he grabs you by the arm, and not very gently, leading you towards the guardian training building.

Ushering you inside, he finally lets go of your arm striding over to the desk to turn on the small lamp. Facing you, he leans on it crossing his arms infront of him „All righ, now talk!“

„Fine.“ You start, dropping the bags you were still holding on the floor mimicking his arm crossing gesture „What would you like to talk about? About my shopping trip some more perhaps? Or how my drive to the town went? Or maybe-„

„Stop playing dumb, Y/N!“ he interrupts you, and you actually wince from the harsh tone of his voice. It always seemed impossible for Dimitri to lose his composure. Things would have to get really, really bad for him to snap like this, and you had no idea what to expect next.

„Damn it, Y/N,“ he starts again now moving from the desk, pacing back and forth in front of it „I don't get it! I don't get what's going on here, what's going on with you! You've been on edge from the moment you came here, and for the love of it all, I can't understand why! But I'm starting to think how it definitely have something to do with me! So tell me!“ he stops pacing to look at you, his eyes begging you for the answer „What have I done to deserve this kind of behaviour from you?!“

„It's what you didn't do!“ you yell back instantly, your words clearly taking him aback.

„It's what you didn't do that's the problem here.“ you repeat again after a moment of silence, almost whispering it, crumbling to the floor, wondering when the tears started to come out of your eyes.

There is and old japanese legend that says crying is how your eyes speak when your heart is too broken for words. And that's how you felt right now, like your heart was breaking into million pieces, the pain running so deep, your broken heart unabeling you to form the wright words.

But you had to try, you had to! You reached the point of no return, and you owed it to him, to both of you, to stop this charade from going on any longer. What happens next is entirely in fates hands.

And you had no clue how to even begin explaining this, so you blurt out the first thing that did come to you „I love you, Dimitri. And I don't mean it like a brotherly love. I love –  I'm in love with you, so much that I had to run away from you how much it pained me. I tried to fight it, I so much wanted for it to not be true. I spent almost a year trying to convince myself that I was wrong, that I was delusional, that my feelings weren't real.

And it was working, I swear it was! I was victorious! I beat the odds, dispersing those feelings away. I thought of you again as my best friend, only as my best friend. And I knew, I knew with all my heart everything will be all right again.“

Moment ago you had trouble finding the right words, and now they just kept pouring out. You still couldn't, dared to look at his face, afraid that if you do, those words would just stop. So you focus on your clasped hands, and take a deep breath before continuing.

„But I was wrong, so very wrong. When I saw you yesterday, I was so happy. I missed you so much, that just the knowledge of you being somewhere close by was euphoric to me. But at the same time, all those feelings I was so sure were gone came crushing down on me like a wave, and I was fighting so damn hard again to keep my head above the waters surface.

And I know, believe me, I know it's wrong, I know that. And I know I should have been stronger, I should have fought harder to defeat it, and gods, I will, I will fight it, I promise! I will be victorius again, this time for good! I just wish that – I hope that you knowing all this now won't make you push me out of your life completely. Because I know you don't feel the same, and thats all right, it really is, but I just – I just don't want to lose my best friend, I don't. I can't.“

And that was it – the words left you, you said what was weighing on your soul. And honestly, you didn't feel any better than before. You felt defeated. Because, how on earth could this have even a remote chance of ending up in a good way.

The tension that filled the room was terrifying, the silence around you only making it worse. So when you noticed Dimitri's slow steps coming towards you, a voice inside of your mind screamed and begged for you to get up and run. But you couldn't. You were frozen in place, praying silently for the hard floor beneth you to open up and swallow you.

The lamp on the desk might be small, but the shadow it casted as Dimitri was almost in front of you was intimidating, so you grit your teeth, bracing yourself for the worst.

So when Dimitri stopped to kneel in front of you, his warm hands cupping your cheeks and moving your head so you could look at him you thought you were dreaming. Once again, there was so many emotions behind his eyes, and you didn't know what to think of it.

„What, you read minds now, too?“ he finally say, chuckling a moment later, probably at the very dumbfounded look on your face. You wanted to speak, to ask him what was going on here, but the words got stuck in your throath. Screaming silently at yourself to get a grip, it took you a while to finally becom coherent enough to form any words „What?“

Being sure he had your full attention now, he moves his hands from your face, but only so he could take a hold of yours "What I mean is, I really wish you told me all of this a year ago."

"Why?" you question back quickly averting your eyes away "So you could reject me sooner and finally be done with me?"

"No, Y/N" he answers you, his voice so sweet, you were sure you never heard him sound like this before, and it only got sweeter as he spoke again "so I could tell you the feelings are mutual."

If before you had a really dumbfounded look on your face, you could not possibly imagine how you looked now. Did you hear him correctly? Or were you lost somewhere so deep in your mind imagining all of this, playing a scenario of how you wished for things to unfold.

"Please, Dimitri," you finally start sounding so tired "please, don't do this to me. Don't lie, don't go and say something you don't really mean just for my sake. Don't toy with my heart like this because - because it can't possibly survive any more pain."

Dimitri's gentle fingers touch your chin and he turns your head towards him, his eyes staring so intensely at you "I have never lied to you before, and I have no intention to start now, neither."

You always believed, no, you were absolutely, one hundred percent positive there was no way, not even a slightes possibility for anything, or anyone, to catch Dimitri off guard. So when you suddenly leapt at him throwing your hands around his neck and crushing your lips so fiercly on his, you were genuinely surprised your action resulted in his back coliding with the floor with a loud thud.

But just as quickly his composure was back, his arms wrapping around you pulling you closer and deepening the kiss, with every passing heartbeat a blissful sensation spreading all over your body. It was mesmerizing. It was magic.

And in that moment, while your bodies ached to get even closer, a realization hit you - it was happening, this was really happening! Dimitri love you, he really do love you.

You wanted to stay like this forever, still somewhat afraid that if you break the kiss, the spell around you would break, too.

Reluclantly, you break the kiss gasping for air, but his strong arms were still holding you firmly, giving you just enough room to move your head slightly, resting your forehead on his. Still not quite believing what was happening you chuckle as a thought suddenly comes back to you "What happened with your lesson number one?"

Dimitri laughs fully at your words"Hmh, I don't know. But it seems like I have trouble with more than just not reaching to my students."

Now it was your turn to laugh "It really seems so. You should definitely do something about that."

"Mhm, I agree. Perhaps I'm in need of another live demonstration."

One of his hands move from your back to your head, his fingers tangling in your hair and pushing gently towards him for another kiss. While the first one was full of hunger and longing, this kiss was soft and sweet, full of love.

A moment later he breaks the kiss to look at you "You know, as much as I don't mind being like this sprawled on the floor, I have a proposition for you."

"You do?" you question back hazily keeping your eyes closed, just enjoying being like this with him "And what do you propose?"

"I was thinking, perhaps it would be better if we continue this somewhere more...comfortable?"

In a flash, your eyes were open, and you jump to your feet leaving poor Dimitri looking at you with confusion as the meaning of his words finally come to understanding. With a mischievous grin and look full of desire you grab his hand and pull him to a stand "Your room, or mine?"

[fantasyheroine]

Written in the Stars - Chapter 7

Pairings: Astarion x Tav

Rating: Explicit

Summary: For months Astarion and Tav have been growing closer and both of them would consider the other a good friend at this point. But is friendship really what either of them truly want? One night has the potential to change their relationship forever. Will the two of them be able to overcome the hurdles a new romance throws their way while they navigate the impending threat of the Netherbrain? Or will past trauma's come back to haunt them permanently? Get swept up in this whirlwind of passion, love, and fear as the characters of Baldur's Gate 3 take on the Cult of the Absolute.

Playlist for the fic

Read on AO3

Beta Read By: @thespookypumpkinwitch

Banner Created By: @rahuratna

Tag List: @rahuratna

Previous - Next

Chapter 7: Unsteady, Unsure

Word Count: 4,572

Warnings: Angst, References to SA, Past Trauma, PTSD, Self-Hate, Insecurities, Implied Smut

Song: Haunted - Taylor Swift

A/N: Apologies for the shorter chapter. I had to split what I had planned into separate parts because things were looking like they would get too long. Chapter 8 will be a much longer one. As a heads up, Chapter 8 is going to take around two-three weeks to come out as I am going to a convention to meet Neil Newbon this coming weekend and I plan to edit what I have written so far as well. So that means my writing time is going to be reduced for about a week or so. I promise I won't hold you all in suspense for too long though and that we will be done with angst for a while as we move into the next segment of seven chapters.

Astarion worked both of them through their orgasms. His hips never stilled until he had gone completely soft and Tav was a quivering mess beneath him. As he slipped out of her sex he rolled off her body, landing on his back by her side. His chest was heaving, his breaths coming in quick pants. Rosy lips were parted in a breathless smile as his mind fought to catch up with what had just happened. His eyes focused on the stars shining down between tree leaves. Tav loved him. She had always loved him. He felt foolish for never having realized it. But now? All was out in the open. They loved each other and she had given herself to him entirely. Her heart, her trust, her body. Her body… By the Gods was that sex incredible. She had taken him better than anyone ever had, like she was made to fit him and only him. The ways in which their bodies had so perfectly molded together felt unreal. She had moved and bent exactly how he wanted her to, never giving any resistance when he’d pulled her against him in different ways, in different positions. How she had reacted to him, clenching and spasming, gasping and moaning; the memory would be seared into his mind for life. Eyes closed and he thanked the heavens for her. Thanked her enhanced flexibility and stable strength. Thanked the way she had let him take her in the dirt without a single complaint about the mess. Hells, he was doomed. An airy, soprano giggle brought him out of his reverie and he looked at the woman who had just blown his mind.

“You know, that’s twice now you’ve kissed me out of the blue.”

Teasing Astarion came naturally. It was the foundation that their friendship had been built on. Quips and jokes made lightheartedly at the other’s expense. If he thought she wasn’t going to point out the irony of him having kissed her twice when she was least expecting it simply because they had just finished having sex, he clearly didn't know her. The opportunity was just too good to pass up. Honestly what had he even been thinking, sneaking up on her while she was swinging an axe. He was damn lucky she had memorized him otherwise he could have very well ended up putting those dodging skills of his to use. The silly, lovesick fool. But she'd be lying if she said the games the two of them played didn't bring her an electric thrill. She loved how they always kept each other on their toes. Pushing limits, testing restraints. Fuck was it fun. And now here they were. At the apex of all that endless teasing. She would never dare admit it to him, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. The start to this new thing between them. It promised a romance full of lighthearted joy. As her giggles faded she kept smiling at the sky, pleasantly content at how the day had ended. Slowly, her head lolled towards him, his perfect mouth curling up into a mischievous smirk.

Leave it to her to tease him at a time like this. It wasn’t his fault she was so damn kissable. Deniably irresistible. Had she really expected anything less than a heated make out session in the woods? Tav was brilliant in so many ways but by the Gods was she dumb when it came to interpreting his meanings at times. All dinner he had been fucking her with his eyes. Imagining all the different ways he could take her and make her scream. He thought he’d been obvious. And yet still she was surprised when he had followed her. Sweet, oblivious Tav. He would kiss her every second of the day if he could. Planned kisses, surprise kisses. Kisses to her forehead, kisses to her cheeks. Every morning he’d sweep her into his arms and pull her knuckles to his lips; only if she’d let him. He grinned.

“Give me your permission, little lover, and I’ll keep doing it.”

Her bright laugh echoed through the forest. Nocturnal birds fluttered and nighttime critters crept closer to chance a peek at the noise. She rolled to her side, booping him on the nose.

“Tempting, but knowing you, you’d take advantage of that privilege at all of the most inappropriate of times.”

She wasn’t wrong. If he had her indisputable approval, he would kiss her whenever the Hells he felt like it, even if the time was arguably an inconvenient one. A pale hand shot out to grab her wrist as her hand tried to retreat. He gave the tips of her fingers a quick nip. A playfully curled lip exposed that fang that loved to make itself known when he smiled.

“Isn’t that what makes it fun?”

Tav’s beautiful face leaned close to his as she licked her lips. Her voice dropped into one of silky seduction.

“I think I’d rather find other ways to make our companions blush.”

Sparks ignited in his eyes at the implication and his fingers squeezed as he grabbed at her chin and cheek, tilting her head to the side sharply. He analyzed the teasing smirk dancing on her lips and the way her eyes had narrowed to impish slits. He grasped her face tighter, pulling her lips a fraction closer to him.

“You cheeky thing.”

Tav’s grin turned more devilish and she wiggled her eyebrows with a wink before puckering her lips in a mock kiss. He barked a loud laugh, letting her go to instead scoot back and admire her cocky confidence. It took a brave woman to toy with a creature such as him. Especially one who wouldn’t say no to devouring her a second time. But like always she trusted him unwaveringly. And as much as he would have loved to go for a second round he didn’t break that trust. Elbows kept him propped as he leaned back to watch her. Rolling onto her back once more, she stretched. As her arms reached wide to the side, her back arched pushing her chest into the air. The expanse of her neck became completely exposed as her head tilted back and he could see the pulse of her heart. Watching her bend, the silhouette of her frame against the backdrop of the mist riddled, darkened woods created a sort of magical mysticism to her image. She was a huntress. A goddess. A wild fey queen that he’d happily kneel for… She was gorgeous… Inexplicably gorgeous. He’d want for nothing if he managed to make her entirely his. She could very easily change his world. 

Red traced the shape of her body as she came down from her stretch and sat up. The definition of her muscles showed her blatant strength but with a subtlety that maintained her feminine figure. Full breasts, toned stomach, slender waist. Her skin glimmered, flawlessly smooth, save for the abundance of scars littering it. There wasn’t a single beauty mark in sight. No moles or freckles besides the small smattering across her nose and that sole tattoo. Black ink winding up the curve of her hip to the planes of her iliac region like a vine. She looked like she was carved from gold. Soft in places, yes, but finely detailed and immeasurably precious. She was a treasure most sacred, one that bandits could only hope to try and steal, and he wasn’t lost on how blessed he was to be allowed to gaze upon her naked form. When she finally looked at him again his mouth curved at the edges into a warm smile and his arms opened encouragingly while he lowered himself to the ground.

“Come on, love.”

The way in which Tav’s eyebrows immediately furrowed had him getting concerned. She didn’t make a move to come closer to him and his throat clenched. Why wasn’t she coming closer to him? Fear rose up in his chest, clawing with nails shaped like his master’s. Had he made a mistake in his interpretation of the night? In his interpretation of her words? She looked so confused right now. Perhaps he hadn’t made his intentions clear.

“Come lie with me Tav.”

Still she sat frozen. Anxiety made its way to his tongue and his mask slipped back on. He didn’t mean to scoff. Didn’t mean to default to sarcasm. But her hesitation was hurting him more than he’d like to admit.

“Oh don’t look so shocked, darling. We did just confess our undying love for each other did we not? I’d be a bad lover if I didn’t at the very least indulge in a cuddle.”

The switch broke Tav out of her temporary flashback within seconds. NO. She wouldn’t think about him. Not now. Not when everything with Astarion was so close to being right. He wouldn’t haunt her any longer. She was better. She had moved on. Healed. It had been eighty five years since then. Sixty since she’d stopped trying. Forty since she’d vanished. It was better now. It had to be. Astarion wasn’t… He wouldn’t… It was safe. It was okay. She’d be okay. *I’ll be ok.* When her eyes focused on him again the look he was giving her made her flinch. One second Astarion had been smiling at her with tenderness and now his expression had morphed into the sardonic one he liked to throw up whenever he was feeling vulnerable. Her mind whirled. She stared at him while he sneered at her. It wasn’t like she had meant to hesitate, to frown at his offer of cuddling but he wasn’t the only one with a past. Wasn’t the only one who wished they could forget things they never would. She hadn’t been expecting his offer. It wasn’t something that she had ever been given before. Tenderness after sex. She had honestly been fully expecting him to get dressed, bid her goodnight, and then leave her in the woods. The fact that he was willing to stay, wanted to stay, was extremely confusing. Did he expect more from her? Had she not been good enough?

His arms were still outstretched but they were dipping. His confusion was evident. Guilt tore at her heart. She didn’t want to hurt him. He was new to this whole thing. Relationships, sharing feelings, opening up. Hells, he had even given her a heartfelt confession before having sex with her. But this wouldn’t have been the first time someone had lied about loving her. And yet, he had sounded so honest. Treated her with such care. There had been an actual connection between them when he’d fucked her. It hadn’t been just sex. It couldn’t have been. I felt too different. Too raw. So real… He was still looking at her confused. Pained. She could see his confidence waning. He had opened up to her. Offered her comfort and love. And all she had given him was hesitation. *Shit.* Of course she had fucked this up. She always fucked things like this up. And now he was defensive again. His walls were returning. All because of her stupid trauma. He had gone out on a limb and shown her a different side of him today. One made of pillows and fluff. Softness and fairy tales. He had given her a snippet of the romance she helplessly craved; and what she had given him was more of the same. She was a fuck up. A hopeless fuck up. She didn’t deserve him. She didn’t deserve anyone.

Their staring stalemate stretched on. Desperately she tried to tame the hurt of her past. If she could just let go. Let him in. His Adam's apple bobbed with his every nervous swallow, his eyes shifted to the side before focusing back on her. She couldn’t watch him. Watch the hurt she had caused wash over his face. His posture was dropping, his arms slowly lowering. Before he could fully put them down, she launched herself closer; begging with her eyes for him to not retract his offer. She couldn’t lose this! Not this! Not him! *Please! Please don’t! I want this! I promise I want this!* Warily his arms opened back up and this time she didn’t hesitate, nestling herself into his strong hold and placing her head on his chest. The pounding of her heart in her ears was deafening and she cringed because she knew that he could hear it. Why couldn’t she just open up to him like he was trying to open up to her? The weight of her secrets, all those things she had refused to say, refused to share, they ate at her conscience. She could trust him, couldn’t she? Astarion wouldn’t break her. Not like he had. No. She couldn’t. Not now. Not when their relationship was still balanced on the edge of something precarious. Maybe one day she’d tell Astarion. Let it all come spilling out. A day when they had been together long enough. A day when she knew without a doubt he wouldn’t hurt her. Maybe then she’d tell him. But for now she would push it down. Cage all of those unspoken things back up in her chest and focus on taking care of him.

Astarion’s relief was immediate as Tav finally folded against his body. She hadn’t left. She was still here, laying in his arms. He had been so worried she was going to get up and walk away. That her hesitation had meant he’d been wrong. That she didn’t love him. That she’d lied. That she was only after sex. He wanted to trust her. Trust that she wasn’t like that, but so many people had only ever wanted him for his body. Lusted after his sexual appeal and not given a second thought to anything more once they had received what they’d wanted. His mind conveniently forgot how adamantly Tav had refused to use him, denied sleeping with him without it meaning something more. The frenzy of memories swirling like a storm caused him to not remember that detail. Instead he recalled all the times he’d been told he was nothing. How many times had Cazador told him he was only worth the sex he could provide? That he was simply a pretty face meant to entertain? His assumption surrounding her hesitation had been instinctual, and now as she lay next to him his mind froze. The storm swelled. Thunder crashed. The disgust he was used to hit him like a thrown brick. Suddenly the feel of her skin pressed against his was no longer pleasurable. It felt like a cage. A reminder of his enslavement and all the times he’d been forced to seduce. Forced to perform the act of sex and then hold his marks before leaving them in the night as they slept. The sound of their screams as he left the room and Cazador took his place haunted his mind. It was all he could hear right now. Those horrible, terrified screams. The woods faded away and he was back in a lavish four poster bed, holding his latest victim knowing that soon they would be dead. Drained dry while he was sent back out on the streets to find another poor soul to lead to their death. Another body to add to his endless list.

Tav smothered her issues as she felt Astarion spiraling. His body had gone ice cold, colder than she had ever felt him, his breathing had completely stopped. His nails dug marks into her shoulders where he held onto her and she wasn’t sure if she should pull away or if moving would make things worse. So she stayed unnaturally still. It wasn’t fully clear as to what horror he was currently reliving, but the hunter in her knew when someone was experiencing pure fear. Her own emotions spiked, that guilt eating at her doing its best to make her unravel with him. But giving into it would help no one. She had to salvage things before she lost him all over again. Before this thing ended before it ever got the chance to begin. She needed him. She loved him. And despite all her reservations, all of her fears, she knew she had to bring him back. The darkness that could consume him was one she was far too familiar with and she couldn’t let him fall into it. Not like she had. The quiet melody began to encapsulate them. The lullaby nearly inaudible as she hummed against his shaking chest. She didn’t want to startle him but she also didn’t want him becoming lost. Music had always been her safe haven. The one thing that never failed to calm her down. Now she hoped that it could do the same for him. As the crickets joined in on her song providing their soothing orchestra to the lull of her hymn, she prayed that her voice could bring him back from the edge.

It took many minutes before Astarion’s body relaxed. Her music faded at the first indication that he was returning to himself and she let the insects take over the song. Soon enough he was breathing again. He wasn’t fully with her yet but it was a start. She didn’t touch him. Didn’t stroke his arm or rub his back. Not once did she move even though her hands were twitching from the stillness. But shifting could make him stray. It could scare him away. The last thing she wanted was to frighten him in his current state. The slightest hint of warmth returned to his skin and at his next shaky sigh she whispered into his chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Goosebumps erupted along his flesh at the feel of her breath on his pecs. His ears flattened against his skull and he screwed his eyes shut trying to vanish the images still playing in his mind.

“No.”

Talking would make things worse. It would make the memories more concrete. Plus then she would know. Know all the horrible things he had done. All the blood that coated his hands. All the people he’d killed. She’d hate him. He didn’t belong with her. Not even if she was only using him. He was a monster. A being of pure evil. And she was a hero. Someone who by all rights should slay him. Put him back in the grave he’d crawled his way out of. He was beyond unworthy of her. So beyond unfit to be her partner. To stand by her side. She was so kind, so caring. Her heart was made of the gold she’d been sculpted from. It was good and honest and he was a lier. A manipulator. A seducer and a thief. He had stolen her heart without ever having earned the right to. But she loved him. Sworn she loved him. Loved who he was. Another puff of her air against his skin had him taking a deep breath. This was Tav. A woman so confident in herself and the company she kept that it left no room for argument on who was good and who was bad. Her words had not been untrue. She had only ever told him the truth. He could trust her. Like she trusted him. This was real, wasn’t it? 

He took a moment to consider the risks of showing her his weaknesses. The self-doubt. The self-hate. The horrors he had wrought and the ones he had endured. She wouldn’t leave him. She wouldn’t. That wasn’t like her and he knew her. She wouldn’t shun him simply because the touch of her skin brought back bad memories. No. She was strong and surefooted. Confident and brave. But he was broken. Tainted. Eventually she would come to her senses and leave him. Any smart person would. Perhaps it was best to end things between them before anything ever began. It would save him the heartbreak, save her the struggle. But if there was one thing Astarion was, it was selfish. And he wanted her. Badly. So despite his fears, the worry and the pain, he gave her the best explanation he currently could, not wanting to forgo the chance of what they could have. What they could be.

“Bad memories is all. I’m fine now.”

Tav continued to not move. She didn’t push him to share. She never pushed. But she knew that fine was a lie. Fine was always a lie. She was intimately acquainted with the falsified assurance of being fine. Still, if he didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t press. Her head remained on his chest and faintly she wished she could hear his heart. That the organ within didn’t lie dead. It could have told her what to do. Tell her if his nervousness had subsided. If she could hug him. But such was the curse of Vampirism. Forced to live a life without life. His voice echoed around them as he attempted to joke with her. Like things were ok. Like they weren’t both breaking.

“You’re as stiff as a board.”

Her mumbled apology felt forced. Even to her ears she could hear how far away it seemed.

“Sorry.”

If he was attempting humor that meant he was ok now, right? She could move? She could touch him? Carefully she tried wrapping her arms around his torso but retracted her limbs when he once again froze.

Astarion cursed his bodily reaction, hating how even miles away Cazador still had him enslaved. She clearly didn’t trust that she could touch him. Or maybe she simply didn’t want to touch him. That damaged part of himself started to second guess her intentions. Maybe she was disgusted by him, disgusted by his past. At how many people he had slept with. At how much he'd been soiled. Maybe she thought he was unfit for intimacy and was pitying his attempts at aftercare. It’s not like he was currently doing a good job at it. He’d frozen up too many times to count at this point. His thoughts went back to how she had hesitated when he’d offered to cuddle her. Perhaps she was forcing herself to do this for his sake.

“Is this… not what you wanted?”

Tav balked at the question. How did she answer that? How did she tell him that cuddling was something that had never been offered to her before? How could she even begin to explain her past? Explain the man that had used and abused her? The only man she had slept with. The only man before him that she had ever loved. He would judge her. Devalue her. He would never see her the same way again. She hadn’t shared much with anyone about who she’d been before getting abducted but they all knew that she was young for an Elf. If she told Astarion about how inexperienced she actually was there was no doubt that he’d laugh at her. No. She’d keep that information to herself. She was good enough in bed to not arise suspicion. He had made sure of that. Made sure she was good enough for him each and every night they were together. Astarion would never know.

“This is fine.”

Gods, it was fine. Just fine. Nothing good ever came from something being fine. He regretted ever offering up this embrace in the first place. Clearly neither of them wanted it anymore. So why was he still holding her? Why couldn’t he let go? She interrupted his thoughts with a vulnerable whisper.

“I’m just nervous… It’s been a long time since I’ve done this.”

‘Since I’ve ever done this’, is what she wanted to say. But the words wouldn’t come. Too much vulnerability at once would be bad for her. Admitting she was nervous was hard enough. It was too soon to spill the truth. The whole of it. His mind was already eating at him, his own past hard enough to sift through. He didn’t need the added burden of hers.

Astarion’s worry stricken expression slackened and he glanced down at Tav for the first time since she had crawled into his arms. He wondered what she meant by her words. What ‘this’ was she referring to? Cuddling? Sex? Or perhaps a relationship. Either way he wouldn’t question her. It was clear she was struggling to share whatever was plaguing her. As much as he wanted to know, she never pushed him when he wasn’t ready to talk, so he wouldn’t pressure her. Still he felt somewhat soothed by her admission. His weight shifted so that he lay on his side. Her body moved with his as she repositioned herself as well and he tucked her head back into his chest placing his chin on top of messy copper waves. A sigh managed to shutter its way out of him. As awful as those memories had been, this felt nice. She remained stiff and clumsily he patted her back in an attempt to ease her worry. He wanted to comfort her as she so often comforted him. As inexperienced as the action made him feel it did the trick in getting her to soften. Her body went languid and he relaxed his arm around her waist. She did not hold him back, instead opting to slide her hands between their bodies to rest on his upper abdomen, but that was ok. He wasn’t sure if he could handle being embraced in return. He wondered if she had done it for him. Out of mindfulness of those sensitive, untouched parts of his psyche that caused his body to react poorly. But there was every chance she had done it for her. A way to keep whatever was running through her mind at bay. He kissed the top of her head, sighing at how quickly the atmosphere had changed to something tenuous.

Tav let her eyes close as she tried to focus on the feeling of being held. Astarion was being a sweetheart. Offering her what little comfort he could as he struggled himself, kindly refraining from asking questions. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep this up. Keep hiding the parts of herself that hurt. If they wanted this relationship to be something worth holding onto they’d both have to reveal their cards. All of them. Gingerly, she placed a kiss above his undead heart.

“I love you.”

His face buried deeper into her hair as he tried to hold back the fear those words brought to the surface. That she didn’t actually love him. That she shouldn't. That he didn't deserve her. But he didn’t say any of it, because somehow, despite everything, this was exactly where he wanted to be.

“I love you too.”

For the first time Tav let herself enjoy the hold of another person and soon her breathing lulled into a slow pull of air. With every inhale she breathed in the scent of the man she loved more than anything in the world. The man who she hoped would love her just as much, forever. Bergamot and rosemary wrapped around her senses like a python around its prey, and she kissed him again before letting herself fall into a deep trance. Nightmares haunted their memories as the two rested but with it came the blossoming hope of a real love.

[ink-and-dagger]

Heyyy Inky!!! Guess who it is! (jk) It's me Galaxy!! I've written the DWM song!!! And recorded it! It's called 'One Drink'. (hehe) It's not done professionally in any way, shape or form, but it's certainly finished. It's just a demo of me singing (badly-ish, ignore my baby voice gah I sound like a twelve year old) with a guitar backing, but I do imagine that if I ever do record this, it will be with more instruments than just guitar. 😅 I really really really really hope you like it. Really. Think of it as a love letter from me to you for writing DWM, because it really has been a major part of my life <3 This link will take you to the audio recording (it's on a google drive. Copy and paste it into your browser!): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QWXoZ8yZHFXhCAlHE4OZURTQGXzL9tlU/view?usp=sharing And I WAS gonna include a link to a google doc with the lyrics on it... but tumblr's being fussy and won't let me insert it. So, I've decided to just put the lyrics at the bottom of this ask, which is gonna make it very long but oh well. Shit happens. Also, if the audio recording link doesn't work - please please please tell me. I'll figure out another way to send it!

Anyway, the recording is accessible for anyone to copy into their preferred browser to listen to (if it works), so if any other DWM fans see this feel free to listen/read! Again, I hope you like it, Inky. Love you and everything you do <3 - Galaxy P.S. Inky, I would love love love to know every single one of your thoughts on lyrics as well if that's possible!

One Drink - Lyrics. A DWM song <3

Saint was a sinner

And he was feared by almost everyone

He was a ruthless killer 

A devil, modern to our time. 

She, oh she wasn’t perfect 

But compared to him; an angel from our sky.

Astrid. Always searching for her horizon

But it seemed like something she could never find.

She shared a drink with him one night

Apparently she’s the only one that would 

He pulled the bottle off the shelf, his inhibitions down you can tell

There’s something he’s suppressed

And the walls began to fall

I guess opposites attract after all

One drink that started it all x3

They, oh they weren’t perfect

They would fight all the time like you and I

One fight, got a little too consuming 

The pain was a knife through her heart 

He thought he jinxed them

He thought this one was a little too far gone

Their only saving grace was the rose tattoo upon her waist 

A symbol that in time they’d be alright

And the walls began to fall

I guess opposites attract after all

One drink that started it all x 6

Saint was a sinner

But she found her horizon in his eyes 

GALAXYYYY

I'm squeezing you so tight that you'll need to visit a chiropractor to straighten you back out again. I absolutely love this and i'm so honoured that my story inspired you to create a whole ass SONG?! Thank you so so much.

Also what are you on about singing badly? You've got a great voice! Really pure and folksy - it suits the style of song so well, especially with a solo guitar. Can totally picture you singing this song at nighttime sitting by a campfire with the local townspeople hanging off your every word. Also it's so damn catchy - I was already singing the chorus to myself after just the first listen (I may have listened to it 10 or 20 times since hehe)

Here's a one click link for anyone who wants to listen to Galaxy's amazing song!

And I LOVE all the lyrics! They convey the core essence of Silco and Astrid's characters and story so effectively. That's some serious skill my friend. You did in 200 words what it took me over 138k words to do lmfao.

I started to attempt to write out all my thoughts on the lyrics in this post but I had so many thoughts that it quickly proved too crazy to format on tumblr. SO, I put them in a google doc instead lmfao. You should be able to see my comments on the highlighted text but tell me if not.

Thank you again, truly from the bottom of my heart.

[traumfressers-den]

Ok, so I indulged a little and wrote a kiss prompt for myself and a friend because I absolutely adore the surprisingly great chemistry between Qirilissk and Adrasta and because @faewrenbird's girl deserves some love as well 💞

Kiss prompt #18 "as encouragement" from this post -> Send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss!

Qirilissk's eyes flicker towards Adrasta's.

“What's wrong?”, he asks without pausing his work on her make-up.

Adrasta sighs but tries her best to stay still and not move too much. “Nervous”, is all she says, but Qirilissk knows its far more than just that.

Adrasta isn't just nervous about her date with Yvssek – she's terrified of breaking the fragile, shaky connection the two of them cultivated and build over the many excruciatingly long years they've known each other.

Knows that she's afraid of breaking its trust or pushing things too far too fast; forcing it to recoil and become defensive. Making Yvssek retreat and close up; refusing any more attempts of Adrasta to get closer. To help.

Qirilissk huffs and shakes his head. He doesn't know what she sees in Yvssek. It is stubborn and arrogant beyond words; its ego taller than the biggest skyscraper and its manners are literally non-existent.

… it does look good, though, Qirilissk has to admit. And if it wasn't for Yvssek's sour personality, he might even be interested himself. But as it is, Qirilissk is more than happy to pass this one and let Adrasta have it all for herself.

He hums. “Whatever would you be nervous about?”, he asks and makes a show of looking her up and down. “You are gorgeous. Pretty face, sweet little smile, bright eyes. The best hair in the entire damn city. A body to literally die for – with all the right curves in all the right places. Perfect proportions. Smart and kind and able to stand your ground, if need be. Snarky, at times. Who would say no to you?”

Qirilissk sees a faint blush appearing on her cheeks and a smile tugging on her dark lips, but her eyes turn doubtful. “It did take Yvssek years to agree to a date”, she reminds him and Qirilissk rolls his eyes.

“Yes”, he says. “Because it's an idiot.”

Adrasta snorts at that; letting out one of those lovely little snickering laughs of hers. “It is not”, she disagrees and looks like she wants to go on and start another one of her lovesick speeches about how cool and smart and handsome Yvssek is, but Qirilissk cuts her short. He doesn't have the patience for that right now.

“It very much is or the two of you would already be married and have a horde of ugly, filthy little children screaming and running after you”, he says and makes her laugh again. Which earns him a slap to the shoulder.

“Don't be ridiculous”, Adrasta chides playfully. “I can't marry Yvssek. What about you?”

“I can be the secret love affair you meet on dark, rainy nights in disgusting little motels out of town when Yvssek is having another broody episode”, he easily plays along. He smirks when he gets a sudden idea. “Or the secret lover of the both of you. Wouldn't that be fun?~”

Adrasta looks like she's about to laugh again, but instead grows silent and thoughtful. Tilts her head to the side and furrows her brows. “ … I don't think Yvssek is ready for something like that.”

Qirilissk sighs dramatically. “Yeah. Like I said. It's an idiot.”

Now that, however does make Adrasta snort again, and paints a little smile onto Qirilissk's face as well.

He finishes her make-up, gives her hair a few last touches and then stands back to examine his work. Gives a nod because its flawless. As always.

He steps back and claps his hands together. “There. All done. Now even someone as stupid and blind as Yvssek won't be able to resist you tonight.”

The blush returns to Adrasta's cheeks and she turns to get a look at herself in the mirror. There is a little gasp and before Qirilissk knows it, he's pulled into a warm, grateful hug.

“Thank you so much for helping me out!”, Adrasta says close to his ear and his smile grows. He returns the hug and pulls her close; holding her flush and safe against his chest.

“Always, angel” he says and presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. “And now go get that stubborn prick!”

Adrasta laughs again and Qirilissk is once again reminded just why he loves this woman so damn much.

[quinndominion]

Thought I was going to make another rant-y ramble about scene staging, but I figured it out before I finished typing.

Anyway...Terrific fun seeing your scenes come to life exactly the way you envisioned them. Terribly frustrating when it feels like you've forgotten how to do basic stuff, elicit some very basic poses - like, hold your hand out, sir! No, more. Out thataway. Please?

Look, see, like this, Sylvia Marie did it, why can't you? (which, of course, means why can't I...remember how to do such a little thing?)

But this is why I always like to keep SimPE open while playing. (Standard warning, you know what your computer can and can't handle, blah, blah, blah. And if you don't load it first, obviously, and fully load in the game files, you won't be able to do a damn thing with it while the game is using them and you, of course, can't edit cc files that are in use. But if, like me, you've got multiple cc setups and test hoods and wip stuff it comes in handy when you're too lazy to quit the game just to check something.) I double-checked my 'undies ad' posebox and turns out I did, actually, make that overlay. Oops. But, frustration allayed!

Wrong hand, anyway. But that wasn't the point.

Serviceable as is, I guess.

But it looks even more awkward from this angle and that's the one where you can see what he can't see yet as he's looking for his daughter.

Ooh, maybe Adele's prop box, sans prop? I'll check! Too many newer poseboxes, I'm forgetting the virtues of the golden oldies! Otherwise, I have found something that should work but it means exiting and reloading the game. And she may or may not hold her pose on reload.

The positioning itself I can recreate easily enough, but she is well off her lot (get it..."well" *snerk*) and therein lies the hassle. I'd have to learn new tricks (all over again) to make that a simpler process. And, uh, no. I need, literally, 3-5 more pics. Then all I've got to do is finish the write-up and wrestle with the html formatting. So, tomorrow maybe, or more likely the day after since it's Christmas.

Apparently, some things have changed in the past few years, but not DW's post editor - which I hate, love everything else, no plans to shop around for a new home, but hate the tiny post creation window that you can't expand in visual edit mode - you know, the one you need to see, it's in the name - but can drag out in html mode, like being able to see the alphanumeric wall-o-text in a bigger window is at all useful to me! They render all visual line breaks exclusively with code now so even if you space it out to be able to see what you're doing with the html, if you click over to visual mode to see that it looks right and click back, they've smushed it back into one big block of text. Why...oh, why? That's not really the new hassle, but I'm tired of rambling. Suffice it to say that my workaround no longer works straight copy-paste. Even when I remember to add all the extra <br /> breaks. Still have to fiddle with it in their tiny post window where they nevertheless render the pictures full-size so I can only see half of what I'm doing without side-scrolling back and forth. Okay, now rant really over.

How do I know this? Well, I celebrated my bday last Monday by actually posting a chapter. No linky, I'll get to that...eventually, but it's there on my Dreamwidth if you wanna read it. Or you can wait til I'm finished wrangling with the rest of Act One and feel like making proper posts with links and stuff. Doubt anyone's read this far into a ramble post to warrant adding links anyway. 😃😃😃

[kairiscorner]

Can u write a headcanon of a gabriel ohara x stark reader where she has a machine that goes to different dimensions and she meets gabriel in his dimension and they fall in love

OH YES !!!!! i love that what, gabri is the sunshine to reader's grump storm (*´ω｀*)

gabriel o'hara x stark!fem!reader headcanons

if you had tony's personality, i think gabri would've been scared of you at first 😭 blown away at first by how beautiful you are, but when he finds out you're a no-nonsense sarcastic genius, he not only falls harder for you, but calls you 'ma'am' out of fear and respect.

he found the fact you could hop from one dimension to another EXTREMELY INTERESTING, though when you would explain it to him, all he did was smile widely like a dork and stare at you while you spoke.

"you're so pretty when you talk." "were you not listening to a thing i said?" "i was listening... to the way your lips moved... how your eyes fluttered while you blinked, and you–" "that's enough." "w-wait, please, keep talking!"

he's always your right hand man, and when you need something, before you could even finish what you were gonna say, gabri's got you covered already and hands you the tool or machine you need.

he loves teasing you, like all the time. he teases how you'll be grumpy if you don't learn how to lighten up.

"how do you suppose i do that when i'm busy all the damn time." "well, that's why you have me! see, smiling's not hard!" "it is when you have nothing to smile about." "do compliments make you smile?" "it's just empty flattery, i smile as a formality." "that can't be right, you'll look older than you really are if you keep frowning!" "i'll cryogenically freeze myself, there." "but then... i won't be able to spend the rest of my days with you." "who said i wanted to spend them with you?" "okay, ouch, hermosa, alright :("

he says sorry to those you accidentally offend or piss off with your snarky attitude, he's the only thing keeping you from getting assassinated or screwed over by your business partners who might become your enemies one day 😭

he scolds you sometimes for not taking care of yourself, and when you snap at him, tell him you never ask him to care, he just replies to you that he knows you never asked, but he chooses to care about you.

you'd've started falling for him after a long while, seeing him ceaselessly care for you and help you out better than any machine you've ever created and any person you've ever hired. and though gabri fell for you first... you definitely fell harder.

he gets all excited when you tell him to come with you to other dimensions for help, even if it isn't for leisure or hanging out with him, he'll do anything to spend the day with you.

when gabri gets all relieved after you come back to him after a dangerous mission, he gets all nervous, stuttering and stammering about how worried you've made him, and all you do to get him to calm down is hold him close and kiss his lips.

he makes you food when you're too busy with work, he hates seeing you go another hour without eating or drinking water.

he insists you go to bed and actually have a decent, reasonable sleep schedule.

"nena, lights out." "just a few more minutes, i'll finish up here soon, gabe." "ay, no more working, please, you've been here all day. i'll take over for you." "no." "fine, then at least come with me to bed?" "i'll sleep when i'm dead." "...please?" he wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your cheek as he pleads you to come to bed :>

tags !! @binibinileonara @ophanimgold

[thatfrailsoul]

– That frail soul

just some thoughts

( picture → pinterest )

When I was little, my grandmother always checked my homework before allowing me to put away the books. And if there was a mistake... Oh boy. She would pass the next hour erasing the superficial layer of the paper with a razor, in the spot where the mistake was, colouring slightly the now more white spot, so it is not so noticeable, and then writing the words correctly on her own, imitating my hand and ways

I've never really understood why she did it, but I knew that it was important to her, so I never said anything. She was doing it on her own after all, it didn't require any additional "work" from me, so why should've I cared when I was only able to think about my favorite cartoon that would've started soon...

But my professor... She always knew what my grandmother was doing. And every single time she looked at my homework, she whispered in fear that I will never know how to make my own mistakes and learn from them.

As I grew up I never thought about it again. I still managed to make my own mistakes. And I always, fortunately, learned from them. But I always did so silently, on my own, hidden away, without even realising what I was getting used to do.

In the safety of my room, in my sleepless nights passed on studying and trying again and again whatever I wasn't able to do. Or at the back of my mind, where no one could see me remembering, analysing, my every action or word that came out of my mouth... I was slowly but surely learning to hide my progress, my mistakes, my wanders or misunderstandings, never allowing others too see them, and erasing everything that wasn't aligned with the current image that I chose for myself. Imitating so damn well the hysterical need of my grandmother to correct my homework, hiding those little but still imperfections. Just to make me seem perfect in the eyes of someone else.

I grew up and started tearing out the pages when I didn't write aesthetically enough or made too many mistakes as I was drawing, supposedly having fun. I started to feel the need of a whole new journal or notebook if I had a new interest, even if I never finished the previous one. I deleted all my photos from the socials just because I found a different style...

Discovering, trying and experimenting was never a problem for me. But it was, in my subconscious, simply a disaster to have something out there that remained of that older style, idea, passion or version of me. That others could see that change, that lack of coherence and perfect balance in who I am.

But is it really so bad? If someone understands that I've changed? Is it so horrible if someone sees the process, the how, the steps that I made as I was growing and finding my true self or how to express myself? Are my older desires, passions and ways that much worse than the newer ones? Or are they still and always a part of me and my story, and should be at least respected and remembered rather than completely erased? Are they, perhaps, the ones that really make it so worth it, to be here and to be who I am?

I feel so different, so new in the way I'm starting to perceive my own self and this world as I'm changing once again... As I feel this inevitable itch of starting completely from scratch and hide away that older part of me in favour of a new one... But I will gently force myself to slow down and let go a little this time. I will allow my new self to bloom right here, next to the other versions of me, not in their place, not instead of them. Because they might not be so perfect, or fitting now for the person that I feel to be... But they still are me. A me who did her best. And deserves to be remembered and celebrated for all that she was able to learn or discover about herself and the way she wants to carry and present herself, instead of being shamed for the way she did it.

I will allow this change, even if it won't be a completely perfect new beginning, but just a continuation of my growth, redemption to my mistakes... Because even done this way, it is still more than fine and I can equally feel confident and proud.

All of this just to share this sudden realisation. And the little but important bit of courage that I found in not deleting anything, but to just embrace my new self.

And as I will learn to not hide those hard-earned steps that I made to arrive here, I hope that you will find and give some love to the older versions of you too. That you will spend a moment to appreciate them, the ones that helped you to become the beautiful person that you are now. The mistakes, the delusions, the failures, the bad things and the ones that still follow you around. No matter at which age, how, or in which area of your life... I hope that you will choose to leave them here. Not as a reminder of how much you suffered or perhaps hurt others, how "worse" you were... But as the one of how far you've come in understanding it and changing. Learning so much more about this life and your own self.

_