#last two days until our apps close (:

[foldingfittedsheets]

When deciding who to work for there is a sliding scale of employers that goes from lil mom and pop shops up to corporate monoliths. I have worked at both ends of the spectrum and I can pretty definitively say that tiny businesses are hands down the most insane employers.

The sweet spot is a place that has like 10-20 stores; that’s the best possible work environment. They’ll be polished enough to have protocols that make work structured, but not so bogged down with bureaucracy that nothing can ever get done.

This story is not from that sweet spot. This story is from my time working at Oil and Vinegar. Now, like many little franchise stores, the idea was solid. There was on tap imported olive oil and vinegar and it was really delicious. Top shelf. Unfortunately, each location was like the Wild West because owners varied wildly.

My owner was the human embodiment of Mr. Krabbs. His eyes were just constant dollar signs. Throughout my training he informed me of the price of every single piece of equipment I touched and how much it cost to replace it.

He had cameras set up to watch us, and an app on his phone to access the live feed. He’d call us to ask what we were doing when he’d just checked a camera to make sure we were being honest.

Now, the trouble was he had two locations. His location further south did amazing. It was way more centrally located and got three times the foot traffic. The one I worked in was in the snottiest mall possible in Arizona and consequently the rent was through the roof.

It was not going well for my store. We didn’t get as much traffic, so there was only so much I could do in a day. I could dust, sweep, and wait for customers. I read a lot and was frank when he called to interrogate me. I always asked for additional tasks but he never had any. What could I do to prop up a failing business?

But this man was convinced there was some Secret Reason that the store I was in was doing worse. He crunched numbers, looked at staff, and eventually hit upon the most insane possible solution.

We used too much toilet paper.

We were probably stealing toilet paper! Bleeding him dry one single ply square at a time! How dare we need to use the bathroom?! His south location used half as much toilet paper as we did, we must be thieving little monsters!!!!

Friends. The south location was populated entirely by men. My location had three people on staff who had to sit to pee. It was so blindly transparently the source of the discrepancy but this man was convinced we were making off with toilet paper to bankrupt him.

So he implemented what he believed to be an entirely reasonable response to this base treachery. We were allowed to have one roll of toilet paper. At any given time, one roll was permitted to us. This was so transparently unhinged that we protested but he insisted. If we were low on toilet paper we needed to call him to drop off a roll that he brought from his home. Smiling jovially, he assured us he lived so close by that it would be no problem!

When we needed to call him often for more he started tearing his hair out. What were we using toilet paper for?! Why wasn’t his genius plan to stop our scandalous waste working??!

Finally, the manager, the only man on staff had to pull the owner aside and be like, “Look, man, their bladders are smaller. They need to wipe every time they pee. They need to pee even more on their period. Is this really the hill you want to die on?”

Yes. It was. The manager was fired unrelated reasons and denounced as a traitor. The toilet paper ration lasted until I quit and probably until the store closed six months later.

[wileys-russo]

forget me not (2) II l.williamson

part one forget me not (2) II l.williamson

"mum i need to go."

"leah no-" but her mums words were cut off as the blonde clicked end call, fingers flying against her screen until she found your contact, call after call declined until it stopped ringing all together.

she then moved to texting, sending message after message until the 'do not disturb' notification popped up and her stomach heaved, you never put your phone on do not disturb.

her guilt peaked even higher noticing all of the messages above those she'd sent to you in a panic, clearly prior to your graduation and worrying about her whereabouts.

(8) iMessages from; lover girl 💐 hey baby i just arrived, you were dead to the world when i left (shock x) i'm kind of nervous! they just handed out our caps and gowns, its feeling really real now. what if i fall over when i'm walking up?? someone just put that thought in my head and now it won't go away 🥲🥲 i can't wait to just look out and see your pretty face, you can always ground me even without trying💘💘💘 *three missed calls* less just called me, she's leaving soon so i hope you're up and showering! i know you're not the best texter in the morning anyway grumpy 🫶🏻 we have to switch our phones off and leave them in our bags now babe but i'll see you in a little while. still so nervous ah! your support means everything, i love you leah 🩵

even though leah knew you were upset, the fact you hadn't made any attempts to call or message her after her no show only solidified it further for her, the blonde selfishly sort of wishing you had to ease her guilt even just a little.

"fuck!" the girl swore as she threw her phone on the passenger seat, burying her face in her hands with a deep and prolonged exhale. "okay think leah, think." she mumbled to herself, fists balling and rubbing against her eyes until she saw stars, head thumping back against the headrest.

grabbing her phone again she winced seeing the multitude of other missed calls, from alessia, your mum, your aunt, your best friend, all worrying that something had happened to her for her not to show up, the sweet messages from your mum checking in if she was okay hitting her in the stomach in a different sort of way.

"alessia!" she realized, quickly hitting call on the girls contact, feeling like an idiot for not even noticing her friends absence and putting two and two together, this was a brand new low.

"come on!" leah grunted, calling the younger girl easily six times and each one going right to voicemail, finger hovering over your mums contact before abandoning that idea with a shake of her head.

"shit." leah swore again checking your location and noticing you'd stopped sharing with her, biting down on her bottom lip as her knee bounced and her fingers drummed against the wheel wracking her brain for anything.

"fuck me leah where did she say the celebration was afterwards?" the footballer mumbled to herself, eyes squeezing close as she tried to think back, unable to even remember you mentioning your graduation in the last few days, another nail in the coffin of realizing she had been an awful girlfriend to put it lightly.

a sudden spark of hope she grabbed her phone again, clicking into instagram and huffing when both you and alessia hadn't posted anything, searching up several of your friends and families accounts finding the same wall of silence in her way.

growing even more desperate leah clicked into an app she checked maybe once a year, only keeping her facebook active for the sake of her childhood friends.

"thank you aunty gillian, thank you!" leah whispered as a quick scroll of her feed showed your godmother had posted some pictures from the graduation and the post ceremony celebrations, a quick zoom confirming the restaurants name on a menu on the table.

without another seconds hesitation she was putting the address into maps, car roaring to life as she peeled out of the colney carpark at top speed, flying across town and swearing loudly as she seemed to hit every red light in all of london.

"williamson." she barked to the valet as she screamed to a halt in front of the hotel where the restaurant was, throwing the keys at the young boy who didn't even have time to say a word before she was pushing through the double doors and bursting inside.

"m'am im really sorry you can't-" the hostess tried to stop leah as she barreled past, ignoring her completely and hurrying into the restaurant. it didn't take her long to find your closest friends and family on a big table in the corner, alessia spotting her before anyone else did and eyes widening.

though as leah came to a screaming halt in front of them, the table falling quiet as they took her in, still clad in an arsenal tracksuit with wet hair and frantic eyes looking as you would have said had you been present, a hot mess.

"no auntie ava its alright, i'll handle it." alessia murmured to your mum as leah shrank under the scrutiny and harsh glares from your friends and family, nobody impressed with her no show even if they didn't know the full story.

"you need to leave, right now." alessia warned, grabbing the blonde by her bicep and pulling her away from the table, around the corner and out of view. "less please i can-" leah started as the younger girl held up a hand.

"i don't care leah. i've just gotten her to calm down after she's just spent twenty minutes crying in the bathroom after her big day!" alessia warned, leah taken aback by the venom in her teammates tone, the girl normally so sweet butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

but there was one thing your cousin didn't mess about with, and that was family.

"she cried?" leah deflated, voice barely above as whisper as the taller girl nodded. "yes leah she cried several times, she's heartbroken that her girlfriend didn't show up for her graduation. but rather chose to go to the same training we have four or five times a week, she saw on instagram." alessia growled, poking accusingly at leahs shoulder.

"nope." alessia held up a hand again as leah opened her mouth to pour out another excuse or hurried apology.

"i told you leah, i don't care. she deserves to enjoy the rest of her day, you've ruined enough and done more damage than you can apologize for in the two minutes you've got to leave before i let my brothers escort you outside." alessia warned seriously, jaw clenched and still gripping harshly onto leahs arm.

"but less-" "leah, go."

but right as your girlfriend was ready to get on her knees and beg alessia to get her even one minute of your attention, you came stumbling around the corner in search of your cousin.

"baby-" leah started, falling quiet with a hiss as alessia sharply pinched her and moved to put her body in between the two of you like your own personal security guard.

"you have some nerve!" you laughed, leah frowning at the slur in your voice and the way alessia hurried to catch your swaying body, shooting the older blonde a filthy glare over her shoulder as she steadied you and mumbled something in your ear.

"no i know. i'm done crying over her!" you responded, leah swallowing hard as her knees buckled with how much anger was ablaze in your eyes as your gaze moved back toward her.

"you're a little late." you mocked with a pout, voice dripping with sarcasm as your eyes burned holes in your girlfriends head, trained on her like lasers.

"bubba please if you just-" "don't leah, don't call me that." all the anger seemed to deflate out of your voice at that, the obvious hurt and betrayal in it wrapping around leahs heart and squeezing tight like a fist.

"i don't want to hear the excuses, or the apologies, i don't even want to look at you leah. i have never been so let down or dissapointed, hurt, angry, sad." you listed off every emotion which was wracking your body, pausing for a moment and swaying a little leaning into alessia more.

"i have been there for you, for everything leah. i was there by your side every day when you did your acl, through the rehab and recovery good times and bad. i didn't leave when you yelled, when you snapped, when you hurled insults just for helping because i knew you were hurting and you weren't lashing out at me." you shook your head as leah felt sick to her stomach.

"i was there for you during the world cup. i stayed in england to be there for you, watching my own cousin playing the tournament and living out her dream through a phone screen, not daring to mention the games because i knew you were devastated to miss it." you paused to swallow the tears which brimmed at your eyes.

"i have put up with a lot of shit leah, dismissed a lot of things because i love you. but this...this isn't something i can sweep under the rug and excuse because you're hurting and i want to support you. today i needed you, i needed you to support me and you couldn't even do that." you whispered, wishing you had another drink in hand for a spike of liquid courage which was bleeding rapidly out of the open wounds your girlfriends actions slashed you with.

clearing your throat you continued, tilting your chin up a little higher. "less already took me past our place and i grabbed a bag of stuff, i'm moving in with her for awhile. i don't want to see you, hear from you, nothing, until i am ready leah. i never thought you of all people were capable of hurting me like this, now please go." with that you turned around, stumbling slightly but catching yourself with a sharp inhale and marching back off to the table.

"no. leah you heard her, you need to leave." alessia's hands pressed against her chest as she tried to follow after you.

"like i said, you can go on your own terms leah, or i'll get my brothers." your cousin warned seriously, leahs mouth opening and closing before she gave in with a nod, turning and walking away.

~

"its another one for you!" you looked away from the football match your cousin was currently forcing you to watch, alessia appearing seconds after the bell had rung with another bunch of flowers as you got up with a sigh.

"she's consistent, you've gotta give her that." alessia shook her head as you took the flowers from her, perching herself on the arm of the lounge as your eyes scanned over the card.

"we look like we own a florist shop." your cousin commented, eyes roaming over the countless bunches of flowers littering the living and dining rooms.

"i've texted her telling her to stop!" you shook your head placing down the bunch with a deep seeded sigh, dragging your hands down your face. "what are you thinking?" your cousin asked knowingly as you wandered back toward the lounge, collapsing into it as she spun around on the arm to face you.

"i don't know." you exhaled honestly, face buried in your hands as alessia kicked you gently, looking down with a raised eyebrow. "its been two weeks and i miss her." you admitted honestly, sitting up with a slight grunt.

"but i'm also still really hurt and upset and there isn't an excuse under the sun she could make that would help that go away." you added on, grabbing a throw cushion and pushing your face into it with a scream.

"would you consider hearing her out anyway?" alessia asked, playing devils advocate as you looked back up with another sigh. "yes? no? maybe?" you groaned, laying back down on the lounge in a world of indecision.

"sounds like you want to. but you're a little scared of what that might mean? just hear her out, it doesn't mean you have to go running right back into her arms but it'll mean you're not sitting here wondering what it is she has to say." your cousin read you like a book with a small smile. "i hate that you're always right." you shook your head as alessia chuckled.

"just looking out for my little piccoli ravioli!" your cousin cooed, a grunt leaving your body as she dove on top of you, pinching your cheeks and shaking your head side to side before rolling off of you.

"you know i can very easily smother you in your sleep russo."

none the less you took her advice, reaching out to your girlfriend? ex girlfriend? you weren't even sure what the two of you were at this point given you'd had practically no contact for the last fortnight.

which is how you found yourself a few days later taking a deep breath, hand on the door to the coffee shop you'd agreed to meet up with her at, steadying yourself with a nod before you pushed it open.

you spotted her right away, her eyes trained on the door and hand raising to wave you over the very moment you stepped inside. "i got your usual, sorry the ice melted a little...i was early." leah started with a slight blush as you sat down, pushing the iced latte across the table.

"thanks." you gave her a small smile, taking a sip as an awkward silence settled between you two. "should i start? is that okay?" leah blurted out suddenly, knee bouncing nervously as you nodded and she exhaled shakily.

"i'm not going to waste your time making excuses or apologizing over and over or grovelling." leah started as you quirked an eyebrow and sipped at your drink, curious where she was going with this.

"i'm just going to be honest instead, get right to the point. baby i was a selfish blind asshole, to say the least. i took you for granted. i did not support you even a tenth as much as you did for me. i don't deserve you, i don't deserve a second chance." leah paused, meeting your eyes for a moment as you nodded for her to continue.

"i forgot about your graduation, i didn't care enough to remember despite all the little hints you left me that you shouldn't have even needed to. theres no nice way to say it, theres no excuses for it, no lies. i didn't prioritize you, i didn't respect you or your achievements or put your needs above my own when thats all you've ever done for me." leah sighed, fiddling nervously with her hands in her lap.

"i was so blinded by the joy of being back on the pitch, kicking a ball, being with the girls again. all i was focused on was making the roster for camp, returning back to glory and my captaincy and playing full games for arsenal again." leah admitted, neck and ears flushing hot with embarrassment.

"but nothing, not football not arsenal, not anything, should ever take priority over me being a good supportive life partner and girlfriend. you were right you have put up with so much from me, done so much for me, pushed aside your feelings and your problems to put mine first, and i couldn't even do that for a day when you've done it since the moment we got together." leah continued, shaking her head disappointed with herself.

"love there isn't enough apologies in the world that i can ever say to make up for it. obviously i am incredibly sorry, but you deserve better than words you deserve evidence and action and commitment." you were taken by surprise as leah suddenly stood.

"if you will please please please just come with me for a quick drive i have something for you." she hesitated for a moment before offering you her hand, a confused and skeptical frown on your face as you sized her up.

"its not more flowers, is it?" that caused a small smile to make its way onto the blondes face as she shook her head.

"no, no more flowers."

~

"seriously? leah this is all very weird." you shook your head as she pulled up outside your shared home, a place you'd not stepped foot in for just as long as you hadn't seen your girlfriend for, holding out a blindfold.

"i know i know i know. and i'm sure you don't right now which is completely valid, but i need you to just trust me and put this on." leah bit her bottom lip sheepishly as you sighed, giving her a hard look before snatching it out of her hand.

"no! i've got it." you smacked away her hand which tried to help, tying it up yourself as your heart rate sped up the moment your world was plunged into darkness.

"can i grab your hands? please?" you heard the car door open and flinched a little, nodding slowly as you felt leahs warm hands interlock with your own, pulling you up to your feet as the car door closed behind you.

"step, step, rock, puddle, another step, three more steps, gate." leah announced each reason for moving you, your frown deepening as you realised she was leading you around the side and toward the backyard, ears straining and senses heightened trying to work out what was going on.

"leah!" you huffed as you tripped and almost fell, strong hands steadying you as the blonde winced. "sorry...one more step."

"okay, i'm taking the blindfold off now." leah sighed shakily, and you felt her hands trembling slightly as they fumbled around clumsily with the knot on the back of the blindfold.

but persisting she finally got it, wincing as it slipped away and the sunlight struck you in the face. but that was nothing compared to how high you jumped at the large yell which sounded next, your hand coming to cover your mouth.

"happy graduation!"

"what? this is..." you trailed off, all of your friends and family and colleagues gathered around the backyard, fairy lights strung up in trees and a long table splitting the yard in half decked out with flowers and food and candles.

you tensed as leah grabbed your hands again, moving to stand in front of you with a smile. "i know i ruined your special day by not showing up for you. but you deserve to have your achievements celebrated in a way even half as big and special as you are, and everyone who knows you and loves you agrees, and they're here to show that to you." leah explained softly, another cheer ringing out from the crowd in your backyard as you both looked across with a laugh.

"you organised this?" you asked as leah nodded, letting go of your hands. "i'm not asking you to move back in tonight and forgive me right away. but i hope this is a step in the right direction to me showing you that you mean more to me than anything in the world, and i was such a fucking idiot to take that for granted." leah promised sincerely as your features softened.

"thank you." you caught her off guard by pulling her into a hug, admittedly melting into her taller form as you held one another tightly, your guests all turning back into their own conversations as music started up and chatter floated through the air.

"you're very very welcome. now go and be celebrated!" the blonde pulled away and gently pushed you toward the crowd, smile on her face as you nodded, turning and stepping toward your parents first who cheered and handed you a flute of champagne.

"did you know about all of this?" you tugged your cousin aside around an hour later once you'd made your rounds greeting and chatting with everyone, the sun setting as leah was busy setting up the catering she'd organised for dinner, lia by her side helping out as a fair few of the arsenal girls hung about, good friends with you through both leah and alessia.

"who do you think helped her grovel for forgiveness with the whole family?" alessia smiled knowingly, sipping at her drink. "the whole family?" you asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise as your cousin nodded.

"mhm, had me gather everyone at your mums place and she stood in front of them all delivering a speech about how much of an idiot she is and how much you mean to her, and how first and foremost she wanted to make up for ruining your day, even if it didn't mean you'd take her back." alessia explained as you glanced at leah over her shoulder, a small smile curling into your lips at the way she helped your nephew dish up his food, chattering away to him and pulling silly faces making him giggle.

"was it brutal?" you asked with a chuckle, alessia wincing. "horribly horribly awkward. nonna ripped into her, then your mum, then my mum, then your brother, then my brothers, then-" alessia recounted as you cut her off with a laugh.

"okay okay i get it, we have a very tight knit family who clearly have my back." you smiled with a shake of your head. "we do. but they all agreed to come, and that when she's not being an insensitive stupid idiot leah is crazy about you." alessia spoke a little more softly.

"go talk to her." your cousin kissed your cheek, slipping her drink into your hand and taking your empty one, pushing at your back encouragingly as you sighed and let your feet lead you over to her.

"hey, can we talk?" you asked, leah practically dropping the plate of food in her hand with a nod, hurrying after you as you made your way up the back steps and inside, wanting a little more privacy than your backyard full of friends and family provided.

"is this all okay? is it too much? did i do too much? less warned me not to go overboard and i know i said no more flowers but obviously theres flowers here and i got catering from your favorite restaurant and it took me days and days to get everyone to agree to come and then-" tired of her rambling you leaned in, pressing your lips against her own and effectively silencing her.

"i-okay." leah blinked in shock as you pulled away, a small smile of amusement on your face. "first of all, this is very very sweet leah, its perfect." you assured with a firm nod, leah visibly sagging in relief.

"second of all...i want to come home, tonight." you held up a hand as the blonde perked up and opened her mouth, snapping it right closed. "this doesn't fix everything leah, i'm still hurt and its going to take time for me to trust you properly again" you warned as the defender nodded eagerly.

"but we can't work on things unless we're together, and i have missed you." you admitted quietly, the words scary to confess but knowing you needed to be honest. "i've missed you so much, like...so so much." leah breathed out shakily making you smile.

"but promise me one thing?" your hands came to cup her face as she nodded.

"no more apology flowers leah for like...a long time." you grinned as leah let out a laugh of surprise, hands falling to your hips and drawing your body into hers, eyes searching you face as you nodded knowing what they were looking for, her lips sweetly pressing a few times against yours.

"i promise."

[kjupchurch-xx]

Conflicting Feelings Part Six

As the morning sunset swept through my hotel room's balcony view, I felt Hugh begin stirring in his sleep, "G'day, gorgeous." He said sleepily as I felt him start stretching. 

I smiled, "Good morning, sexy." I purred, leaning up to peck his lips before moving out of the bed towards the bathroom to turn on the shower. 

Today was going to be bittersweet. I was going back home today, my stay in LA had come to an end. It was time for me to head back to the East Coast, to the beautiful, busy town of New York City. Hugh was in LA for the filming of the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie, so I'd be going back to NYC solo. Truth be told, I missed my condo in New York, but I knew I'd miss my favorite Aussie even more. 

Now that things are beginning to happen, the thought of leaving breaks my heart. I didn't realize I was reacting to my thoughts until his voice interrupted the thoughts racing through my brain. I felt two arms snake around me, "What's wrong, my love?" He asked softly. 

I sniffled, quickly wiping a fallen tear from my cheek, "I'm leaving today to go back home." I said as my voice trembled. 

He frowned, "Today?" He asked, making sure he heard me correctly. I nodded, staying silent, trying to control my flooding emotions. "Do you have to go back home today?" He asked. 

I sighed, "I paid for a round trip, so my flight's already booked. I can't get a refund and I can't afford to lose the money." 

He kissed my forehead, "I'll take care of it." He said simply. 

I looked at him, shaking my head. "I can't let you do that." 

He smiled, "I want to and I can." pecking my lips again. 

I rolled my eyes, "I don't want you doing that. I paid for first class and that's not cheap." 

He chuckled, "You do realize I make millions, right love? I'm making $20 million from Deadpool. I can assure you a first class plane ticket will not break me."

I shrugged, "And I'm staying where?" 

He looked at his phone, "With Noldsy and Blake, and of course me. You have to babysit their kids from time to time, but it's not that bad." He chuckled.  

I looked at him, "You seriously want me to cancel my flight?" I asked, grabbing my phone. 

He pouted, "I would be heartbroken if you didn't." 

I smiled, "And Ryan and Blake are okay with this?" I questioned. 

He rolled his eyes, "C'mon, you know Ryan and Blake love you." 

I sighed, "Okay, if you insist..." I logged onto my app and canceled my flight, luckily receiving a 50% refund for a last minute cancellation from the flight insurance I'd purchased when I first paid for the ticket. "It's cancelled." I said, throwing my phone down, pulling him into the shower with me. 

As we washed off he spoke, "We'll drop your rental car off when we head out. We can take mine back to Ryan and Blake's." 

I nodded, "Okay, but I need to make a stop and get some more clothes. I packed for five days and I'm not wearing the same outfits for another week." 

He kissed my forehead, while rinsing my hair out, "We can do that." 

After our shower and packing up the hotel room, we parted ways to drop off my rental car, Hugh following close behind me in his. 

Hugh's POV:  

As I followed close behind her, I was overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the course of knowing her. We'd met each other in 2020 when she starred as an extra on a show I was working on. I had very little interaction with her on the show, but backstage was a different story. She approached me and told me how she was starstruck to work with Wolverine, which made me laugh. 

She was only 22 years old when I met her, I was 51, turning 52. She was an attractive young woman. She was funny, she was intelligent and she was humble. I thought nothing about her until we'd cut up on set and spent hours talking. She had a boyfriend and I had a wife at home, not to mention I like older women. We'd remained friends until she came to my rescue when my father died. That's when things went wild for me. Several things took place that her pride will not allow her to talk about, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. 

When I arrived back to NYC and to Deb, I separated myself from her. COVID made it easier. I kept trying to block the feelings out because I knew they were wrong. I forced myself to focus on Deb, and Deb only, but that only made us grow further apart in our marriage. 

While in England, not only did I walk in on her changing and saw her breasts, there was one night she had too much to drink and confessed many things to me that she has no memory of. She talked about her difficult upbringing, she talked about her failed relationships, but she doesn't have any recollection of admitting to me that she loved me and dreamed that one day I'd be hers. Or how if my marriage ever ends, she was claiming me for herself. That night, I'd had a few drinks myself and we shared a kiss. 

I thought about how after I walked in on her, she'd became what I'd imagine when I'd wank off. I'd imagine how perfect her breasts were, how I wanted to run my hands down every curve on her body as I fucked her, and how her pussy would taste, or how tight it would be around my fingers. I thought about how much I'd want to pleasure her and make her orgasm so much that she couldn't function anymore. Just the thought of her made my dick throb.

But, it was more than just sex with her. She was genuinely my favorite human being, besides my children and of course, Ryan Reynolds. She was there for me during one of the hardest times of my life. She keeps me grounded and focused on the bigger picture, even if I struggle to see it. I'd spent 20 years thinking I was with the love of my life, until I realized I didn't know the meaning of it when she came to England that night. 

Main Reader's POV: 

As we arrived at the drop-off for the rental car, I quickly returned the keys, heading back outside only to be bombarded by photographers. They photographed Hugh, me, us in the car together, etc as they asked if we were an item. 

"They're fucking relentless, jesus christ." I mumbled. 

He chuckled, "You act like you haven't had the press bother you." 

I giggled, "Not to that extent. That was different."

He reached over grabbing my hand, interlocking it with his, bringing it to his lips, placing a small kiss on my knuckles, "Did you want to get clothes now?" 

I blushed, shaking my head, "Let's get to Ryan's first. Let them calm down and then we'll go." I said regarding the photographers. 

He chuckled, "Okay, we can do that." 

The drive to Ryan's wasn't long. It was full of Hugh singing along to songs on the radio. He had a beautiful voice and hearing it on screen was nothing compared to hearing it in person. About 5 minutes later, we arrived at Ryan's place. Ryan and Blake weren't home. Ryan was filming scenes and Blake was promoting her new movie. The kids were with a nanny since Nanny Hugh had been MIA all weekend. 

As we walked in and made it to the bedroom Hugh was staying in, he ran his fingers through his beard, "I've gotta shave this." He said to himself. 

I smirked, "Can I help?" 

He giggled, "Can you do the Wolverine shave? It has to be perfect for the film." 

I shrugged, "It can't be too hard to shave mutton chops."

"Shawn will kill me if you fuck this up." He laughed, handing me a set of clippers. 

I giggled, grabbing them. "I won't fuck this up. Do you know how in love with Logan I was as a child?" 

He playfully rolled his eyes, "Don't say it like that. It makes me feel old and it's making me feel weird. You know I was 32 or 33 when I filmed that."

I shrugged, "I was 4 when it was released." 

He cringed, "God, stop. Let's talk about something else." 

I chuckled as I began shaving the infamous mutton chops, "I love making you uncomfortable." I said playfully. 

He looked up at me, "I'm not giving you a reaction while you're shaving my face, but I've noticed." 

As I finished up showing him my kick ass skills as a barber, we heard a voice downstairs, "Oh, Hugh! Where you at big fella?! It's your favorite Canadian. A little birdie called the media just told me you're with a hot little number. Is she here?" 

We quickly jumped at the sound of his voice, looking at one another, making a run for the door to meet him downstairs.  Ryan looked at us, still wearing the Deadpool suit, "Ah, there she is. Hot little number, this is my humble abode" He chuckled as he swayed his arms around showing me his living room. 

"Why are you in your suit, mate? They actually let you bring Deadpool's suit home?" Hugh asked, smirking, knowing Ryan was instructed to not leave set with the suit. 

Ryan smirked, "Sir, I will have you know, I stole this suit." 

I joked, "Levy is going to beat you."

Ryan laughed, "He can try, but no one can beat me in this suit, darling." 

I rolled my eyes, "Mutton Chops! Look at you." He exclaimed at Hugh, noticing the freshly shaved face. 

Hugh laughed as Ryan's face got serious, "Seriously though, I have a question for you." He said, pointing towards me. 

"And that is?" I asked, furrowing my brows. 

Ryan looked at Hugh and I, "We're rounding up people to play the Deadpool variants. Blake is Lady Deadpool, but there's another female one. Do you want to do it?" He asked. 

I gasped, "Are you serious?" my eyes widened. 

He smirked, "As a heart attack, sister. Plus, I figured it would give Hughy here more time to spend with you."  

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Summer Breeze 8

Warnings: age gap (reader is 22, Andrew is mid 40s), dad’s friend, Andy being Andrew, other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

You leave your dad as the doctor goes through some tests with him. You sit out in the hall and stare at the panted brick. It’s so bad. He looks so vacant. He recognises you but he didn’t even remember the cottage. It took him a while to pick out Andy and he just called him the new neighbour. 

Your chest feels constricted and your head pounds each time you catch yourself holding your breath. A gentle weight on your leg startles you. You didn’t even realise Andy was sitting right there with you. 

“You okay?” He asks. You’re getting tired of that question. You’re not. 

“Yeah, uh,” you shake your head and swallow, “I... should call the insurance. The nurse mentioned something about it.” 

“Sure, sure, well, we can go grab your phone and I already gave all your dad’s info at the desk. His wallet’s in the room.” 

“Okay, yeah, I... need all that.” 

You’re just moving through the motions. Those walls are maddening. It’s all you’ve seen for the last day, almost two. You’re going to go crazy from the noise of alarms and call bells and beeping and whirring and everything. 

When you have your dad’s wallet and your phone, you leave Andy. It’s as good an excuse to have some space as it is to actually do something useful. You sit outside on the curb and breathe in the open air. It doesn’t taste like sanitizer and latex. It’s refreshing but chilling. 

You dial out to the number on the back of your father’s insurance card and smooth out the first night’s invoice. You wait on hold, the droning music itchy in your ears. When at last an agent picks up, you answer their questions. 

“Mm, yes, I see here the hospital submitted the claim. The admitting paper work is here on file,” the agent says, “it says the patient had a blood alcohol content above the legal limit. Some sort of motorized vehicle accident?” 

“A jet-ski, yeah,” you answer, blinking as acid brews in your stomach. 

“Right, right, so reviewing everything, the details we got from the healthcare provider and yourself, the cost of the room will be covered up to sixty percent and any diagnostics and testing do not qualify for coverage.” 

“What?” You puff out, “that doesn’t make sense. He has insurance.” 

“His insurance doesn’t cover injuries sustained under the influence of intoxicating substances. It’s typical insurance policy. You can access the terms under his account number through our app. If you have an email, I would be happy to forward a copy--” 

“No, no, this can’t--” You press your palm to your forehead as panic swirls in your chest and chokes you, “how... how are we going to pay for all this?” 

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, I wish I had an answer for that, but I can only speak on eligibility--” 

“I know,” you cut off sharply, “I know. I’m not—I'm sorry, I’m upset. Thank you. Thanks. I... have a good day.” 

You hang up and have to keep from throwing the phone. God, you always knew your dad’s drinking would get him hurt and now it’s going to bankrupt him. You nearly keel over at the thought of your tuition washing down the drain. It’s a selfish concern but you have three years behind you, you’re so close to the finish line. 

Who cares about a degree. You can’t lose your dad. You rub your eyes until they stop tingling and get up. You tamp down your distress and head inside. 

You approach your father’s room and find Andy waiting outside. He sits up as you near. He gives a tight-lipped expression, somewhere between a frown and a smile. You fold up the bill and and your dad’s wallet and clutch it against your phone. 

“Everything okay?” He asks. 

You’re so tired. You blow out between your lips. He’s done enough. He doesn’t need to worry about this. 

“Yeah, uh, yeah, just sitting on hold forever,” you grumble. “How’s dad?” 

“I think he’s doing alright. They said they need to do a bit more. Do some scans. X-rays, MRI, stuff like that. He’s going to be here for a while.” 

“Oh, I... makes sense,” your lips trembles and you make it stop. Each night is more money. You tuck the wallet and phone into your pocket. “I’m going to check on him.” 

“Okay, want me to come?” 

“No,” you say abruptly. “No, I just... want a moment.” 

“Sure, sweetheart, whatever you need.” 

You go inside the room and find your dad with his eyes closed. You stop beside his bead and stare. The large bandage around his head reminds you of the damage done. Damage that likely can’t be undone. 

“What’re you staring at?” He opens his eyes. 

You give a start and cough, “sorry, dad, I... I was checking on you.” 

���You look like crap,” he says in his blunt way. That makes you laugh. “Andy says you been chasing your tail all around.” 

“I... I’m worried.” 

“I hit my noggin, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry, I’ll have you back in time for prom.” 

You shy away as if you’ve been slapped. You search his face. He’s not kidding. 

“Dad, I... I finished high school three years ago.” 

His face slackens and fear ripples over him, “three years?” 

You touch his arm, “it’s okay. The doctor said it will take you some time to get back to normal.” 

“Mmm,” he hums, “yeah, I don’t feel very normal.” 

You’re quiet. What can you say? You’re as scared as he looks. 

“You gotta go,” he says suddenly, “get some sleep.” 

“What? No, I’ll stay and sleep here.” 

“On the floor? Nah, don’t be dumb,” he looks towards the door. You follow his gaze and find Andy watching, “Andy, you take her and make her get some sleep. You can come back tomorrow, kiddo.” 

“But--” 

“Now don’t be stubborn. You get that from me,” he points at you but his hand is weak and shaky. “’sides, I’m tired.” 

“No problem, Doug,” Andy says as he breaks the threshold, “we all need to rest up, huh?” 

You look between them and hide your chagrin. You don’t appreciate Andy listening in like that. You’re sure he’s just concerned but his help is starting to turn suffocating. 

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

16: Slow It Down

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers (👀)

Warnings: imposter syndrome, someone you loved made a little comeback

a/n: HELLO!!!!! How is everyone going??? I don't know if this is a good chapter, i kinda feel that it's a filler one, but I needed to write it and post it to take this out and continue with the story

if you want to play a game and ask things about Dafne

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Charles Leclerc is a good lover. He knows how to soothe my worries, taking care of me in ways that make me feel cherished. At night, he wraps his arms around me, his hands warm against my belly. His soft kisses trail along my skin, each one a tender reminder of his love. As he holds me close, whispering sweet nothings, I feel a deep connection that goes beyond the physical.

He shows me every minute of the day what our future can look like.

And still, my mind was playing me tricks.

The day we announced the pregnancy, the internet went crazy. Not only because of the pregnancy itself, but because of what it meant: my retirement. None of us wanted to see our socials, deciding to erase the apps from our phones and focus on the present, focus on the last days he had to spend here before he had to leave to get ready for the new season. We barely got out of the property, not going to the village in case more paparazzi were around to take pictures of us. 

"Are you sure you don’t want to come?" he murmured, lying next to me and resting his head near my belly. "The hotel's got a pretty nice spa. You could treat yourself all day."

“I know, I know…” I sighed, brushing his hair. “It's just… I hate going to the snow”

“Oh? Why?” he frowned, looking up at me, rubbing my belly softly.

“You don't remember?” I asked, surprised. 

“No? What happened?” he frowned, sitting on the bed next to me, moving to wrap his arms around me. 

“O-oh” I smile weakly, taking a deep breath. “In my second year in Haas, Mick and I decided to go to a training camp in the snow. Everything was going fine until one day our trainers suggested we take a walk outside. And those stupid ones apparently didn't know how to read maps, nor the weather radar. Well, they made us get lost and we were caught in the middle of a snow storm. We were out all night, frozen because of the snow. I had a pneumonia for a few days”

“Oh shit” he gasped softly. “I… I didn't know about it. How come you never told me?”

“Because at that time I hated your guts? And I thought you knew it, we were in the news” I laughed. “It was funny, actually. But after that I only go to the snow if I know I'll go just to have fun throwing snowballs and then going back to a safe place”

I nodded, letting go a long sigh and she held.me close to his chest. He rubbed my back softly, and I could hear his heartbeat, going fast.

“Say it” I sighed, rubbing his chest.

“During that time…” he sighed, and I closed my eyes, biting my lip. “You were with Mick when that happened?”

I sighed, swallowing thickly. He remembers… He remembers what I told him the morning after we woke up in that hotel room. 

“Yeah” I sighed. “But we never dated. We were only friends with benefits. We…”

“Yeah, I understand” he sighed, nodding. His chin was on top of my head and I could feel the slow movement of his head. “You two were teammates in Formula 2, both in the Ferrari Academy. Spending time together leads to other things”

“Are you jealous?” I teased him, trying to erase the sudden tension that was in the air.

“He knew about my feelings towards you, Dafne” he whispered. “Jealousy is not the world. It would be betrayal, maybe” 

“Oh…” I sighed. 

“Mick and I share a few things” he sighed, playing with my hair. “I lost my father, and he feels like that too, even if his is not dead. We know what it is to not have our fathers in the garage supporting us. And it made us be friends, somehow. But… Yeah, maybe that's why he distanced himself, cutting ties”

“I'm so sorry, Charles” I mumbled, looking up at him. “I… I never knew. We only did it to erase the tension and stress of the races…”

“Hey, you really don't have to explain it. I understand it, I promise” he smiled weakly, but I just shook my head and cupped his cheeks. “Dafne…”

“It was because of me that you lost a friend” I sighed.

“The past is the past, Daf” he smiled weakly. “Now I have you. And I'm happy with that”

I smiled weakly, leaning closer to him and pressing my lips on his. 

There was a little voice in my head, reminding me of everything he has done. A voice that tells me every sad thing, all the times he made me cry. A voice that reminds me that I'm not the only one that he had in his bed. A voice that counted slowly, reviving in my mind all the girls he had brought to the races.

“Remember how he humiliated you at your first win” a voice says. “How he called you a whore in front of everyone. You shouldn't trust him, he ruined you”

I tried to push away that voice, not listen to it. I tried to forget everything, to look at the present and think about the future. 

“I have to get my suitcase ready” he groaned, but still kissed me deeply. 

“You can do it while I make dinner” I whisper, moving closer to him, sitting on his lap. 

“Yeah? What do you have in mind now?” he whispered, holding my hips. 

“Taking care of my man” I smiled, feeling the little jump of my heart when I said those words.

“Your man?” he chuckled, looking into my eyes.

“I-I mean… Yeah?” I swallowed thickly. “I… Well, we… We are together, right?”

He smiled and nodded, kissing my lips again, showing me all the feelings he has deeply in his heart. 

“Of course we are” he whispered against my lips. “What I wrote in my post was real, Dafne. I always wanted you”

I looked at him with a smile, feeling my heart melt slowly. 

But again, that voice creeped into my thoughts, sounding like nails scratching on a chalkboard. I hugged him, hiding my face into his neck before he could even see how my smile got weaker. 

“He might say that he always wanted you, but he still had many models in his bed” it said, with an evil smile. “Who knows, maybe he never changed. Maybe he still talks with those girls”

I hugged him tightly, closing my eyes and trying to think about his touch. As I watched Charles, a mix of emotions churned inside me. I wanted to trust him, to believe in the love he professed, especially with our baby on the way. But doubt lingered, like a shadow I couldn't shake. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that we were in this together. For the baby’s sake, I needed to find a way to trust him.

I sighed, pressing soft kisses on his neck, biting his skin softly and hearing him moan softly. 

“Of course, mark him. Make sure the girls he brings to his bed know that he is taken” that voice laughed, making me feel shivers. “He's a cheater. A cheater. A cheater”

I pulled away, gasping softly, blinking slowly. Charles looked at me frowning his eyes, holding my hips. He was confused, just like me.

“I… I forgot I had to feed Athena” I said quickly, moving away from his lap and getting out of the bed. 

“W-what?” he frowned.

“I had… I have to give Athena a pill” I lied. “I… Yeah”

I swallowed thickly, walking out of the room and calling my cat, somehow praying to be alone for some seconds.

I walked downstairs, standing in the middle of the living room. I took a deep breath, then another, then another. 

I have to trust Charles. We were going to start again, we are going to raise a child together. He said he loved me since he was a kid, since the first time he saw me. 

“That's not true” the voice smirked. “He's playing with you. Don't trust him”

I took a deep breath, gasping, trying to get away from that spiral of negative thoughts, of that impostor syndrome trying to come back to my mind.

“Dafne?” Charles frowned, making me swallow thickly and turn around slowly. “Love, what's wrong?”

I swallowed thickly, hearing the way he called me, watching his worried eyes scan my body. He walked towards me, placing his hands on my shoulders and moving them to hold my hands, squeezing them softly.

“I…” I sighed, closing my eyes when I felt his hand on my cheek, making me lean on his touch. “I just…”

He sighed, nodding slowly. I swallowed thickly, trying to read his face, his mind. 

“Dafne” he sighed, smiling weakly.

“It's just… I want to be ready. I want to be ready to be with you. But I don't know if I am…”

“Oh, love…” he sighed, nodding. “L-look, I… I didn't want to rush things. I told you I was going to wait for you and I was talking seriously”

“I know” I whisper, nodding. “I don't want you to think that I don't trust you. It's…”

“You need to think. Alone” he sighed. “Okay”

“Okay?” I mumble, feeling scared. “W-what do you mean?”

“A week” he smiled weakly, bringing my hands to his lips. “I'll be in the training camp for a week. And you have a week to be alone, to think, to relax, to have time for yourself. It's partly my fault, I was attached to your hip this last month and maybe that's what rushed this situation”

“But…” I mumble. “Charlie…”

“My love” he smiled softly, making my heart melt. “This last month was the best month of my life, and I know we can work as an amazing couple. I love you, I really do. And I know you are working on it and I will wait patiently to hear you say those words too. A week is nothing, right?”

"He'll cheat on you," the voice in my head insisted, relentless and cruel. It echoed with every doubt, every insecurity, each word like a dagger. I tried to silence it, to focus on the love I felt, but the fear lingered.

“Yeah” I sighed.

I bite my lip and hug him tightly, breathing in his scent. His clothes smell like the fabric softener I use on the laundry, his skin smells like the shower gel of my bathroom. He smells like home.

“Help me make my suitcase” he whispered, kissing my neck. 

“Hhmm” I hummed softly, closing my eyes and leaning on him. “Sure”

He held my hand tightly, walking upstairs and going to his bedroom, one he barely has been using since he started sleeping in my bed every night.

I sat on the bed, smiling softly when I saw Athena jumping on it to lay next to me. Charles grabbed his suitcase and opened it on the bed, chuckling when my cat jumped inside of it to get comfortable.

I followed Charles with my eyes, watching him fold his clothes and place them in the suitcase. And somehow, that made my chest ache and my eyes water. Something about this made me realize that every week will be like this: watching him pack a suitcase and go to races, while I had to stay here and be pregnant and alone. 

“Are you okay?” he frowned, looking at me with worry, probably when he saw the tear that rolled down my cheek. “Dafne, hey…”

“Y-yeah, yeah” I swallowed thickly, rubbing my eyes. “Don't worry”

“Talk to me, come on” he whispered, sitting in front of me and holding my hand.

“No, it's stupid” I sighed, looking down at my belly, rubbing it. “I feel… I feel that my life is going to be like this for the next few months”

“How?” he smiled weakly.

“Watching you make a suitcase to go to the races while I have to stay here” I sighed.

“You can come to the races, Daf” he sighed. 

“There will come a point when I'll have to stop” I sighed. “I'll get bigger, my legs and back will hurt, doctors say that is not safe for me or the baby…”

He clenched his jaw and looked at me, placing a hand on my belly and rubbing it softly.

“Our baby will come in June” he whispered. “And I will be either in Canada or Austria. I… There has to be a way… I want to be in the last months with you, Dafne…”

“Charles…” I sighed holding his hand.  “Fred is annoyed enough with us… I can't let you get into more problems because of this. I can't let you lose your job…”

“If he dares to fire me then that's his problem” he laughed. “There are more teams that are dying to have me with them”

“But Ferrari…”

“Ferrari is my dream, yeah” he nodded. “But if they don't respect my family, why do I have to respect them? If Fred gets angry because I ask him for a few weeks to be with my family, then I can tell every media how he acted”

I looked at him, swallowing thickly. How can he be so calm with this? How can he be smiling like this?

“Don't trust him. He will abandon you. He will leave you for a model”

I closed my eyes, biting my lip and taking a deep breath. 

I have to stop it, I have to stop that voice full of venom.

Alone, again.

Just me, my cat and the silence. 

The day Charles left, he woke me up with kisses all over my body, whispered sweet words in my ear and my belly, promising to come back.

That morning, I saw him leave with my car, letting me keep his big car in case I needed it for other things. 

That was three days ago. Three days I spent alone in the house, playing the piano, walking around the field, observing my own belly moving slightly with soft kicks and recording it.

Everytime I stand in front of a mirror I look at myself, scanning my body with my eyes, taking mental notes of how much it has changed. How much my breasts grew, how my belly is getting round, how swallowed my ankles look.

Charles keeps saying I'm the most beautiful woman he ever saw in his life. 

“How many girls might have heard the same? He's prince charming, he flirts with all of them with sweet words”

I closed my eyes tightly, groaning. 

At this point, I'm going crazy, paranoid.

A week. A week to think. To be alone. Literally alone.

My sisters listened to me, and with my recommendation, they found a place in the F1 Academy, ready to help young female promises of the sport. And now, thanks to that, they are busy working and getting ready for the upcoming season.

My parents, both of them working. My dad, traveling around the world thanks to his career as a pianist, and my mom working as a CEO in Monaco.

Sometimes I asked myself how my life would have been if I followed their steps, if my sisters and I followed their steps. I could have been a musician like my dad, since he always said that I had the talent for it. And my sisters, if they didn't follow me into my career, would have been working with my mom.

But now the one that is jobless is me, the one that inspired them to study something that could help me. The one that changed the path of our lives.

“Stupid. Stupid Dafne”

The basement of the house was warm, thanks to the sun that lights the living room. I looked at the kitchen, smiling softly when I fixed my eyes into the pictures that decorated the fridge, the first scanner we have of our baby, and the envelope that keeps the gender.

We didn't talk about a gender reveal again. He said he was going to talk with his brothers and his mom, but never talked about when we could make it. 

“He doesn't want to do it, idiot”

“Stop” I groaned.

I heard her laugh. That laugh, my laugh. That laugh from when I didn't know I was pregnant. When I was happy, when I was untouchable. 

I need to breathe. I need to get out of this house.

I had my breakfast out of the house, sitting on the couch and looking at the landscape, bringing memories into my mind.

I was happy back then, without worries, without trust issues. I knew what I wanted and how I wanted it. I didn't have to worry about guys, about dating someone, about him being loyal or not. 

I was free. Free to do whatever I wanted.

And now, with 27 years, I am everything I didn't want to be. Pregnant, with trust issues, not knowing if I can trust the man I share a bed with.

“How pathetic” the voice, the old me, scoffed. “Look at you. That's what happens when you get your walls down. Stupid Dafne”

I closed my eyes tightly, taking a deep breath, shaking my head trying to avoid that devil in my shoulder.

I sighed, grabbing my phone and looking at all the messages, all the calls.

My friends called a few times. My mom, my sisters and my dad called too. Charles sent a picture of the views from his hotel room. 

Sebastian sent a text. 

“Everything would have been better if you stayed with him” she scoffed. “Sebastian was loyal, he never cheated. He even said he would buy a house with you. He would have done more things than Charles”

I swallowed thickly, reading the texts, trying to not answer them. 

“I am loyal. Loyal to Charles. To the father of my kid” I said to myself, repeating it like a mantra, trying to fight that inner voice.

“Fuck” I gasped when I noticed I was calling him, panicking when he answered.

“Yes, go with him” the voice laughed. 

“Dafne?” 

“S-Sebastian” I mumbled, swallowing thickly. “I… I didn't want to call, I'm sorry”

“No, it's… It's okay” he sighed. “How are you? I mean… How's the pregnancy going?”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, laying on the couch and rubbing my belly.

“Yeah… Good” I sighed. “We saw the baby the other day for the first time”

“You know the gender?” he asked, making me bite my lip.

“No, no… not yet”

“Oh, okay” he sighed.

“Seb…” I whisper. “I… God, I don't even know why I'm calling you. I'm going crazy”

“Why? Hey, talk to me” he sighed. 

“It's just… I'm trying” I sighed. “This month he has been staying in my house, and at the start I only wanted to put a pillow on his face while he was sleeping. But now…”

“Now you are giving up” he sighed. “Look… When he came to the hospital the day you had the crash, he looked really bad. He was panicking, Dafne. He was so scared of losing you and he was ready to fight whoever took you out of the race. He probably did it before going to the hospital”

“He wouldn't do that…” I sighed.

“He would” he laughed. “He would do anything to have your attention. God, he was even ready to fight me because I didn't let him get in your room! That man is head over heels for you, so what's the problem?”

“The problem is that I have this annoying voice that keeps repeating to me that he will cheat” I whispered. “That he won't be loyal, that he's just playing to keep me out of Ferrari”

“Did he do something to make you think that?”

“N-no… I guess” I sighed.

“Then? That's the imposter syndrome, Dafne” he said. “You can't accept your own happiness, even if it's with someone that hurt you? That man loves you. Just… Trust him. Trust Charles”

“Im trying” I sighed. 

“Look, Dafne. I really appreciate you. You have been someone I cared for so much and for a moment I saw a chance for us. But he is your endgame. He always was” he sighed. “You two are meant to be together, no matter how many times you argue or fight. You two will find a way to be together”

“Seb…”

“Just trust him” he sighed. “Let your heart work for once. Give your heart the control of your decisions and stop making your brain work. I'm sure everything will be okay”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and feeling little tears.

“I don't regret meeting you” I whisper. “I don't regret the time I had with you…”

“Me neither, Dafne. But he is what you need” he said, making my heart break a little. “I wish you everything good. Goodbye, Dafne”

I closed my eyes hearing the beeping, biting my lip.

Why can't I enjoy the present? Why is the past torturing me?

The day was warm. February started with a sunny day and birds flying around.

Today Charles was coming back home.

After some days of internal battle, I called him, trying to explain to him how I was feeling, trying to put words to my thoughts, opening my heart for him.

“I just… I'm so tired” I smiled weakly, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. “You are giving me all that love, all that time and space… And the only thing I'm thinking about is if this is temporal. There's like a voice in my head making me doubt every move you made, making me remember everything you did to me”

“You know I never wanted to…” he sighed, and I could see the disappointment on his face. 

“I’m losing control, Charles” I whisper. “I don't know who I am anymore. And this changes that happened so fast…”

“It's making you take steps back” he nodded. “Please, don't push me away…”

I looked at him, taking a deep breath. His mind was working, I could tell because he was chewing his lip nervously and sighing.

“I want my life back, Charles” I whispered. “I want my confidence. I'm looking in the mirror and I can't find myself anymore. I'm tired all the time, my feet hurts and my back too”

“My love…” he smiled softly, and again, the way he called me made my heart melt. “You are pregnant. Carrying a baby. Our baby. And I know this is happening right in the best moment of your career, that none of us are ready for this”

“We are not” I sighed, shaking my head.

“But we are working on it” he smiled. “Dafne, you are a strong woman. The strongest I ever met. You never let anyone step on you, what changed now?”

“That I'm letting my guard down, Charles” I sighed. “That the woman that loved to tease everyone, to joke and play was just a mask”

“But the little girl I fell in love with wasn't like that” he said. “The little girl was honest, and passionate about what she loved. She never gave up when something didn't work how she wanted”

“Well, I can't find her anymore” I whispered. “I feel that I'm drowning. And I'm so pathetic, because I started to feel this way right when we were okay, kinda. I let you lead me through this new life and now that I'm alone I feel that I'm going to lose control of everything”

“Dafne, take a breath, hm?” he smiled weakly, taking a deep breath. He laid his back on the head board, with a pillow on his back. “Breathe with me”

“I'm trying…” I sighed, closing my eyes.

“I'm going to tell you what we are going to do next, okay?” he said softly. “Tomorrow morning I'm leaving the camp. I'll go to Monaco because I want to cut my hair and my mom will do it. After that I'm going to go by plane to the nearest airport from the village”

“What about my car?” I smiled weakly. 

“Your car looks so good near my car” he chuckled softly. “So in that way you can try my new car and come to pick me up to the airport”

“Charles…” I sighed, shaking my head. 

“Let me talk, silly” he laughed. “Anyway, what I was saying… Ah, yeah. Well, I want you to go to the village this afternoon with the envelope of the gender”

“What?” I gasped.

“You heard” he smiled, winking at me. “I want you to go to that cake shop you always talked about and give them that paper. And when tomorrow we come back, we are going to stop in the shop and pick up the cake, bring it back home and then have our own gender reveal”

“But what about our families and friends?” I frowned confused.

“We can do that another day” he smiled. “But I can't wait anymore, Dafne. I couldn't stop thinking about that damn yellow envelope in the fridge door, about wanting to know the gender of our child…I even bought baby onesies here, you know? Oh, and one of those things the babies suck”

“A dummy” I smiled.

“Yeah, that” he chuckled. “And a beanie with ears”

“Oh Charles…” I smiled softly.

“Tomorrow we are going to have a date, okay?” he smiled. “So I want you to dress pretty with blue or pink, I'll do the same. You'll come to pick me up and we are going to find out together if we are having a little Charles or a little Dafne, yeah?”

I blushed, and somehow the panic that filled my veins for the last few days started to disappear.

“Idiot” I laughed softly.

“You can have all the fears you want, love” he smiled. “I'll be with you to help you go through them. I'll be the lifesaver you need to not drown”

“I don't deserve you” I sighed.

“No, Dafne. I don't deserve you” he sighed, smiling weakly. “After everything I have done… But I'm trying my best, I'm trying my best to redeem myself”

“You are doing a good job” I nodded.

The pink floral dress still fitted me. Thank God it was elastic on the chest.

Yesterday, after I ended the call with Charles, I did what he asked me, going to the village to leave the envelope to the baker and agreeing to go pick it up the next day.

Charles was landing soon in the Florence airport, only an hour away from the village.

I had everything ready, my bag was ready on top of the table. I cleaned the table from the backyard before getting ready.

Everything was looking good. I was less stressed.

“Athena, I'm leaving!” I said to my cat, hoping she would come before I leave. “Come on, you've been hiding all morning”

When I woke up this morning, I didn't see her. Normally she's sleeping in my bed or in Charles’. But she wasn't there.

“Thena!” I frowned calling her, walking around.

This is not good, the house was suddenly too silent.

“Thena, baby, where are you?” I called her again and again. “It's not funny, I really have to go pick up Charles”

 No answer.

“Fine, sleep all you want” I sighed. “I'll come back soon”

I grabbed my bag and the keys of the car, walking out after looking back. 

But there was something that wasn't right. Something, call it instinct, was telling me that there was something wrong.

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[peterman-spideyparker]

Brief-ish, unsolicited thoughts about the Moon Boys

Not proofread, written on my phone on the fly, posted on the app so if it looks wonky that’s why

Let’s start with our sweet sweet Steven.

He’s such a sweet and doting boyfriend.

Kisses morning, noon, and night.

Steven loves to cook for you. Every dish is exquisite and full of flavor, and packed with love.

At least once a week, you visit him at the museum for lunch. On nice days, you eat lunch on the museum steps. When there’s gloomy London weather, he’ll sneak you into a closed exhibit or the storage room to enjoy some private time.

One thing he loves the most is when you’re at home and you both sit on the couch and read. His hand is always laced with yours, kissing your knuckles and cuddling in close.

In terms of sexy time, I think Steven’s favorite position might be doggy style. Don’t get me wrong, he does enjoy missionary. But doggy style allows him to have a certain kind of control that he lacks at work—and that he sometimes feels that he lacks within the system. He always feels like he has a say in his relationship with you, but doggy style . . . doggy style is control for him. You’re at his mercy on all fours, and how fast you get your pleasure is solely due to his actions.

Sometimes, he’ll mix it up by holding your arms behind your back while he keeps you upright, and other times he’ll push you down so your face is in the pillows and your ass is in the air, acting as his only real focal point.

He’s also been known for a swift spank here and there, but he can’t help it. He really loves your butt.

After, there’s a lot of snuggles. Either big spoon/little spoon where you’re the little spoon and he’s pressing kisses all over your shoulder and neck and wherever else he can reach without moving too much, or if it’s face to face with foreheads resting together, limbs tangled, and the whispering of sweet nothings mixed with kisses, he’s a gentleman through and through when it comes to taking care of you.

And now Marc. This poor man needs all the snuggles.

He didn’t want to date you. Like at all. He would try his best to keep you away, but he always found himself drawn to you.

One day, he bit the bullet and asked you out for some coffee. It’s coffee—what’s the worst that could happen. Famous last words.

By the time you drank half of your drink, he was smitten, and by the end of your respective cups, he knew he was in love.

He waited nearly a week after that date until he texted you.

“She’s not gonna respond, Spector,” he grumbles ten seconds after clicking send, rubbing his hands down his face.

You respond an hour later, and Marc is mortified to look at his phone, but feels like he can breathe again when he reads your message.

“Sorry, I was giving a presentation at work! Dinner sounds great. How about Thursday?”

He’s truly flabbergasted. You said yes.

The night of the date, he gets to the restaurant early, twiddling his thumbs and wringing his hands as he stands across the street, watching if you actually come. Panic washes over him when he sees you get to the restaurant, getting a table for two in the patio area. He knows the second that he crosses the street and sits across from you, he’s done. He’d be yours forever.

Time moves fast while he works up the nerve to cross the street, and he jumps out of his skin when he feels his phone vibrate.

“Hey,” he breathes shakily.

“Hey,” you mimic. “You know, I can see you standing across the street. I have this whole time. Marc, if you didn’t want to—.”

“That’s not it,” he interrupts. He can’t let you think like that. “I’m just . . . It sounds ridiculous.” He lets out a deep breath. “I’m nervous.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” you reassure him softly as you turn and look at him in the eyes from across the street. “But I can tell you from many years of experience of being nervous and anxious—the best way to stop being nervous is to just do the thing freaking you out. It has to happen eventually, and if you keep building it up in your head, it’ll only get worse.”

He lets out a shallow breath, hanging up and jogging across the street to you.

When it comes to sex, I feel Marc has two positions he really prefers—missionary, and lotus.

Marc is a man that like control, but he also takes great comfort in predictability, which is what these positions offer for him: they both allow him to be as close as possible to you, he can change little motions in his hips to make it rougher or gentler for you, he can go deep, and most importantly, he can see your face. He can see every last iota of pleasure on your features, he can kiss you over and over, and you ground him, reminding him you’re here with him and that everything is okay.

He always marks up your neck one way or another. Sometimes it’s lingering wet kisses, other times it’s red marks that fade, and more often than not, little purple hickies on the column of your neck that remain for long after the sex has stopped.

You’ve come to find that Marc likes a little pain while you’re being intimate. Not much, but a scratch of your nails through his hair, on his back, or on his arms turns him into putty in your hands.

Cuddles are mandatory aftercare for Marc. You keep him present and remind him that even if he’s feeling low, you’re there for him.

More often than not, it’s face to face cuddles, his head resting on your chest so he can listen to your heart while you play with his curls.

And just like with aftercare cuddles, Marc will always wake up early the next day to make you breakfast in bed. It’s nothing grand—truly, sometimes it’s toaster waffles and a cup of coffee—but you absolutely love it.

Now to Jake.

He’s attracted to you as soon as he meets you, but he chose to stay deep within the headspace until he knew you weren’t gonna leave or hurt Marc or Steven.

He doesn’t stick around for more than fifteen minutes when he does eventually come out, but you’re warm and kind to him.

“You must be Jake,” you hum with a soft smile. “I’m happy to finally meet you.”

Jake just nods, leaning back and drinking his spiked coffee and watching you go about your morning as you read the paper.

One day, Jake is fronting when he comes home after a rough mission. He sees you on the couch, looking lonely and less vibrant and, well, looking less you than you usually do.

He takes off his jacket and hat, putting it on the stand by the door. Jake moves over to where you are on the couch, sitting down next to you, and carefully wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to rest on him.

You both don’t know what to do at first, both stiff and nervous, but when you shimmy down on the couch to get comfortable on him, he breathes a sigh of relief. Jake tilts his head and rests his cheek on the top of your head.

The romance between you two is slow, but it’s strong. And once the fuse is lit, there’s no stopping it.

The first time Jake kisses you, he’s nervous, but as soon as his lips meet yours, he knows with every ounce of his body that you’re the only person outside of the system that he could ever love.

The kiss turns into a make out session, and that make out session results in both of your clothes being shed all over the apartment and you trapped between his body and the mattress.

You two spin around in a litany of positions, but Jake loves it when you’re on top, hands on his chest, riding him like an award-winning equestrian front and back.

His hands grip your hips not to guide you or control you, but as a firm, silent encouragement for your actions.

Jake praises you in Spanish all through your lovemaking, calling you every pet name in the book: “corazón”, “hermosa”, “amore”, and so many others. His fluency and the lit of his pitch goes right to your core, only making the sex more incredible.

After both of you are spent, Jake kisses your cheek and neck, moving to the bathroom to get a cool damp cloth to cool down your burning skin and cleaning you up between your legs.

Jake tosses the towel into the nearby bathroom, somehow getting it to rest and hang over the side of the tub.

He rests on his side as he watches you lie on your back, looking up at him and lacing your fingers together and talking about anything that comes to mind before you fall asleep in his arms.

[phoenixs-fandoms-and-writings]

Will You Go Out With Me?

Fandom: Kick-Ass

Pairing: Dave Lizewski/Fem!Reader

Plot: You and Dave are hanging out at his place when he asks you out. However he doesn't so much as ask as blurt the question out.

Notes: I don’t own Kick-Ass or Dave Lizewski.

I do not give permission to anyone to repost or translate any of my stories. I also do not give anyone permission to feed my stories through AI or to be posted to any third party website or app. If anyone sees any of my work posted anywhere but here or my AO3 (simplyreflected), then it has been posted without permission.

Read on AO3 here.

After you’d both finished your classes for the day, you and your best friend, Dave, hung out at his place. You were so happy to be eating pizza with your best friend, both of you enjoying each other's company as you watched a movie both of you loved. After you both finished eating the pizza, he moved the box to the side of the bed, saying that he’d take it out after the movie finished.

The two of you had been close for a long time. Sometimes people thought the two of you were a couple, not that you cared. You loved Dave so much.

It was at that moment, you felt his fingers curl around yours, until he was holding your hand. It was such a nice feeling. You liked how his hand felt in yours.

You couldn’t help it when you blurted out, “Will you go out with me?”

Your eyes widened as you realised what you had asked, and just as quickly, you blurted out, “no, don’t worry about it. I swear we’re good as friends, but you’re so cute and amazing and I love you-”

You were cut off when you felt Dave squeeze your hand and sit up before cupping your cheek with his other hand, “I would love to go out with you.” He smiled shyly as his cheeks reddened.

You leaned forward and kissed him, hopefully letting him feel how much you want to be with him. You smiled into the kiss before you pulled away, smiling from ear to ear. He wrapped his arm around your back and pulled you down to him. You leaned on his chest as the two of you lay there enjoying the feeling of being close to each other.

When you finally managed to regain your breath, you looked into his beautiful and very expressive blue eyes, as you told him, “you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” He started to open his mouth to say something, but you carried on, “I don’t know when it happened, but I know that for the last year at least, that I’ve had a crush on you. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by asking you out, but I wanted to on a few occasions.”

“Does this make you my girlfriend?”

“I’d like that, if that’s what you want.”

“That is definitely what I want,” he whispered. He leaned forward and placed his hand on your cheek. “Is this ok?”

You nodded. “Yeah, Dave. It definitely is.”

He leaned forward and you met him halfway, where the two of you shared a first kiss that was just as sweet as he was to you.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Thinking about Us... | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Thinking about You part two <3 Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook Word Count: 2.1k~ Author’s note: The proposal requested by @jeonsrv hope you like it! Read Thinking about You for more context~

'Finally' I say to myself dragging out the last syllable feeling so thankful to be home. I pull out my phone to see how far the ride that I had scheduled is from the airport and before I can even open the app I receive a text from you. 

'Hey handsome I hope you're not working too hard. I'm going out for a girls day with some of my friends so I'll probably be busy until later on tonight but I just wanted you to know that I miss you and I love you and I can't wait for you to come home x'

I can't help but smile at how adorable you are and I send a quick response telling you to be safe and have fun.

'I'll be home before you know it love! I love you and miss you too' I finish and see the notification pop up that my ride is here. 

Opening the door to our home I'm greeted by the feeling of Bam almost tackling me to the floor. "Hi buddy hi! Yes I know I missed you too? Mommy isn't home right?" I question him like I expect him to give me an answer. "Good, because you've gotta help me game plan so we can figure out how to ask mommy to marry me" I say smiling at the thought of being able to truly call you mine. "Mr. and Mrs. Jeon Jungkook, has a nice ring to it doesn't it?" I say to him as I start to walk over to our bedroom. 

"Okay Bam" I say sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You got any ideas" to which he just responds with a tilt of his head. "Yeah me too" I say feeling a bit nervous at the fact that I don't have anything planned yet. "I want to do it tonight because if I have to hold onto this ring any longer she might end up seeing it you know?" he watches and listens even though I know he has absolutely no idea what I'm saying.

"You know you're a really good listener right?" I say getting up and walking over to get the ring. "You wanna see the ring Bam?" I say and pull it out to show him. He sniffs it a few times and looks up at me with clear confusion as to what he's supposed to do with it. "Do you think mommy is gonna like the ring? Huh? What do you think?" I say starting to baby him and get down on the floor to wrestle around with him knowing that he loves it. 

After playing with Bam for a bit I decide to sit down and really plan this out. You would think I would've thought of this a long time ago but I guess I've been so focused on trying to figure out how to get the ring home that I couldn't think of anything else. I flop back down onto the bed, wracking my brain for things that you might like. 'Maybe a trip to the coast? Nah, too far. A walk in the park? No, too simple. An expensive meal? Too extravagant' I say to myself.

I know you, I know that you prefer life being more simple and that you're not a huge fan of the glitz and the glamor. I want to do this right though, you deserve to have a beautiful, well thought out proposal. I close my eyes for a second to think and before I'm even able to take a deep breath I hear my phone start to ring.

"Hello?" I answer curious to see who this unknown number might be. 

"Hey, JK!"

"Oh it's you, who's phone are you calling from?" I question my best friend Jimin.

"What kind of greeting is that? To answer your question I'm calling from my work phone, my other one... well that's not important now. What is important is the fact that you still haven't told me what you're doing for the proposal. Did you get the ring already?" he questions like the nosy and inquisitive person that he is. 

"Yes hyung I got the ring but now that I have it I feel like I'm drawing a blank. I have been so focused on just getting the ring that I didn't give myself time to think about how to propose" I admit. "You got any ideas?" I question cringing at the fact that I'm asking him for help. 

"Well how about a family get together or something? Or like a picnic, or maybe a nature walk! You know, take her up to the mountains to see a beautiful view and then ask her there" he says listing off some new ideas. 

"No I don't think she would like anything like that, she hates hiking and we would be all sweaty, gross and tired. I don't think that's how she would like to remember our proposal" I say laughing at his creative but not so fun ideas.

"Well what does she like? What did you guys do on your first date? That might give you an idea, like what made her want to say yes to a second date?" he offers up and I have to take a second to pause and reflect back on that time when we were so young. 

3 years ago...

"I'm telling you man I think she's super into you! She saw us hanging out at my parent's house last weekend and the next time she saw me she came straight up to ask me about you. I told her that I could set you two up and you should've seen the way her eyes lit up like I promise she's into you. Plus she and Jina have been friends for ages and she's a really cool girl. I think you guys would be really good together" he finishes and I can hear the muffled sounds of another voice and then someone else comes to the phone. 

"Jungkook hey it's Jina, she really really likes you and I know you're a good guy and I wouldn't trust her with anyone else. That being said if you hurt her I swea-" she gets cut off by what I can assume is Jimin ripping the phone out of her hand.

"Yeah yeah we know Jina just go tell he to get ready for their date tomorrow" he says brushing her off and I can hear her run out of his room after what I can assume is her slapping Jimin upside the head. "Aish this girl" he mumbles before coming back to me.

"I never said I would take her out" I say with an amused tone knowing that I am in fact taking her out since I had planned to ask her a while ago anyways. 

"Whatever just pick her up from her house tomorrow at 6 okay? I'll text you her address" I agree and we end the phone call there and I can't help but smile not only at their sibling antics but also at the fact that I'll be able to see you again. 

Flashback over 

Coming back to my current conversation with Jimin I tell him all the details that I can remember from our first date and he helps me plan everything out.

"You really think this is gonna work? Do you think she'll say yes?" I question since I can't help but start to doubt myself as the time gets closer. 

"She loves you Jungkook, more than you know. I'm sure she'll say yes" he says hoping to reassure me. 

"Okay well I guess here goes nothing. Thanks for your help hyung" I say bidding him adieu.

"Anytime, let me know how things go alright?" I agree and we end the call there. 

After making a few calls and also asking Jina to help me convince you to come home early, I make my way to Lotte World. I set up some clues and instructions all through out the apartment so I hope you'll take the bait. Ones that said things such as 'Come and find me at the place that started the first day to our forever' as well as a outfit that I labeled with 'Wear me' that is similar to the outfit you wore when we first met on that summer night. You looked so gorgeous and so kind that something in me knew I needed to get to know you. Call me a hopeless romantic but I think I knew deep down that you would be the woman I would marry someday. I just hope that you feel the same way about me. 

I sent a quick text to Jina to tell you to talk to the people at the front gates and to give them your name so they can give you your ticket along with the note reading 'Where I first held your hand in mine is where you will seek and soon my love you will find...'

I wait around near the ice skating rink and soon feel butterflies in my stomach as I see you start to walk my way, still not having seen me. You look just as beautiful as you did 3 years ago, I don't know how I got so lucky finding a woman like you that understands me and listens to me and helps me become a better man. I just hope that I can continue to be that man that always betters himself so I can be worthy of your love and trust. 

Walking up from behind I place my hands over your eyes and whisper "Guess who?" You play into it and list off a few of your favorite actors and idols until I finally get sick of making you guess and place my hands on your hips and spin you around towards me and press a chaste kiss on your lips. 

"God I missed you" I say just loud enough for you to hear. "Me too, so so much. Why didn't you tell me you were coming home when we were on the phone last night?" you say with a slight tilt of your head. "Because I wanted to surprise you! Did it work?" I say giving you my best bunny smile. "Yes of course you did! I thought I was going to have to wait a few more days but I'm thankful you're home, safe and sound" you say cupping one of my cheeks and I lean into your touch and place a kiss on your wrist. "So what's all of this for?" you say laughing at the whole charade I put you though. "I told you I had a surprise for you didn't I?" I say laughing at your slightly confused face. Why do you have to look so adorable all the time? I swear you'll be the death of me some day. 

"Your surprise was to recreate our first date?" you say blushing a bit at the thought. "I know I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with you lately and I feel terrible about it, so I wanted to take us back to the night we truly met and spent time with each other. Growing up hasn't been easy for us and juggling my career has been a struggle in itself but I just want to remind you that you are so so loved by me. You are the closest person to my heart and I couldn't imagine anyone else that I would want to spend my life with. It's you, it's always been you and it always will be you. So..." I start and get down on one knee. I see both of your hands go to cover your mouth, surprised and I hope excited for this moment. "will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" I say and pull out the ring while my eyes start to gloss over with tears. I see you nod your head up and down a few times before responding "Yes, oh my God yes! Yes Jungkook a thousand times yes!" You say and come down to my level and kiss me with all that you've got while tears stream down your cheeks. 

We break apart for a moment and stand up so I can place the ring on your finger and we're soon startled as the crowd of people around us starts to cheer. "Does this mean I get to call you Mrs. Jeon now?" I say with a smile, "Slow down tiger we've gotta wait until the I do's for that" you say and give me a sweet but short lived kiss. "Well I do, Do you?" I say lighting up at the smile on your face. "I do".

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for sending a cash app request for gas without making it clear beforehand that I wanted help paying for gas?

So, I (F20) drove two of my friends, A (NB21), and B (M22) to our friend C's party because I'm the only one out of the three of us who can drive and has a car. C lives pretty far out so the time to pick up A and B and then drive to C's place is an hour and a half. We got to the party at 2, I wanted to leave around 8, but we left close to 1 AM. (Tbf I wasn't pushy about the time because I didn't want to keep my friends from having fun.) and I didn't get home until almost 3 AM. I also used up half a tank of gas which is all I had

Last night I started really going through it and partially out of frustration I sent each friend a Cash app request for $10 to help me cover gas. I didn't tell them that I wanted them to pay me gas money before.

Then I got the following texts from A: "Do you know what a conversation is?" and "Did you send the gas money request to the wrong person. And actually mean to send that to someone you already had a discussion about it w/?"

And I understand that it might've been a dick move to just send the request without warning but at the same time I don't think I was being unreasonable by asking them to cover less than a quarter of a tank after I spent 3 hours driving them around and stayed out and extra 5 hours so they could have fun with our friends.

I apologized for sending the request without warning and they sent the $10, but they've been ignoring me the rest of the day

What are these acronyms?

[giuliettagaltieri]

Doctor's Order

Pairing: Surgeon!Eren x Nurse!Reader

Synopsis: You could not make your crush on Dr. Eren Jaeger any more obvious. And even though you can tolerate his usual cold demeanor, you also know when to draw the line.

Warning: Unrequited love, cursing, angst, operation procedure, mentions of blood.

Word Count: 1792

1 of 3

The operating room department of Paradis Medical Centre is never boring with you around.

Your sweet wit and jolly personality just about brighten anyone's day, except for Dr. Eren Jaeger who seems to be eternally tortured by a cause unknown to you.  He is immune to your charms, which makes you like him even more.

“I need the chart of patient Bozado.”  A deep voice speaks behind the nurses’ station.  Your back immediately straightens up and a blinding smile makes its way to your lips.

“Good morning, Doc!”  You scan through the charts until you find the one that he needs, you hand the metallic clipboard to Eren with another one of your smiles.

Your coworkers no longer bat an eye when you skip around the counter to sit next to him on a table nearby.  The man, still not acknowledging you as he scans through the patient’s chart.  Ulou Bozado, this is his third time having his tongue stitched after a severe tongue laceration, they would need to find better interventions for that man.

“Are you busy this afternoon?���  You ask sweetly, your face resting on your palms as you stare at him with your wide, expecting eyes.

“Yes.”  He says without much hesitation.

“A new café just opened in the lobby.  We should totally go.”

 Eren’s tired eyes land on you and he sighs.  “I have a conference.”

You giggle.  “The one with Doctor Smith?  It’s not until seven in the evening.”

His eyes narrowed at you, suspicious as to how you found out.

“So later then?  After our shift?”  You beam.

“What did I just tell you?”  He asks while scanning the chart again.

“Oh, come on.  Ren-”

He clicks his tongue.  “That’s Doctor Jaeger to you.”

Some of the other nurses and doctors in the station glance at you, waiting and watching how you’ll react to this.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise at his tone but a sly smile makes its way to your lips.  “As your possible wife in the near future, shouldn’t I have the right to call you by your name?”

He releases a long exasperated breath, he’s done dealing with your bullshit for today.  Eren signs an order he just wrote in the chart and slams it close, he shoves it to you and gets up to leave without sparing you a reply.

The other staff in the room go about their previous tasks as if nothing happened.  Well, this is an everyday occurrence, of course they got used to it.

“So, later then?”  You laugh while watching him retreat to the Doctors’ lounge.

“Call me when the patient’s being rolled in.  Until then, I’d like nothing but silence from you.”  And he slams the door close, making you shake your head while laughing.  He’s so fun to tease.

“You sure are playing with fire, Y/N.”  Historia comments with a slight shiver. 

You swat the air as if to dismiss her fear.  “He’s just pretending to be an apathetic asshole but he’s actually really nice.”  You put the chart back while Historia follows you around fiddling with her scrubs that are identical to yours.  “Last week, he did an operation free of charge.”

Her eyes widened.  “For that kid that was in a vehicular accident?”

Nodding, you grab your phone.  “Was just avoiding an old man who crossed the road.  Poor kid.”  You sighed.  “Anyway, what would you like me to get for you?”

She squealed.  “I forgot!  You’ll be leaving for your trip tomorrow.”

You press your fingers to her lips to silence her.  “Historia!”

“Oh.”  She stifled her giggles.  “Sorry.”

“I don’t wanna jinx this into a toxic shift.”

 She rolls her eyes playfully.  “But how bad could it be?  Two-week vacation?  Are you kidding me?” 

You laugh as you open your note app.  “Now, tell me what you want.”

As it turns out, you did jinx yourself.

The operation with patient Bozado went swiftly but then ER made a call two hours before your shift ends.  They’re bringing in a patient who was in a vehicular accident and her seatbelt just about crushed her spleen.

You almost bump into Eren on your way to the operating theater.  And he sends a sharp glare at you.

You listen to the endorsement of the ER nurse as you scrub in and drop instruments into the sterile field.  The circulating nurse is busy trying to make a call outside the theater.  They’re trying to reach the on-call surgeons but nobody’s picking up.

They have Eren here.  A highly qualified general surgeon.  Why would they contact other people?

The anesthesiologist comes in to sedate the patient as you finish preparing the instruments in a manner that Eren preferred. 

When he comes in, you notice a strained expression on his face.

“Where’s the assistant surgeon?  The interns?”  He asks.

“It’s just you today, Doc.”  The anesthesiologist says.

You hand him a towel and he dries his hands thoroughly and flings the towel to the side with much force that makes you glance at him.

“The fuck are you staring around for?”  He snaps loudly, gaining the room’s attention to you. 

You serve him the gown, apologizing profusely.  Your hands quiver when you open the gloves for him and in haste to serve it to him, your hands slip and the sterile glove drops to the floor.

“If you mess up in my theater one more time-”

“I won’t, I-I’m sorry.”  You say with your eyes turning glassy.

The circulating nurse drops a new pair of gloves in the field and you carefully offer it to Eren.  He adjusts it on his hands and he watches the patient carefully as they prep her abdomen.

“Begin initial count.”  Eren tells you.  The circulating nurse stands a few feet away from you with a clipboard and you start counting off the number of sponges, instruments, and needles.

“Excuse me, Doctor Jaeger, Doctor Pyxis, and the rest of the surgical team.  The initial counting of sponges, instruments, and needles is complete.”  You say.

“Vitals?”  He asks the anesthesiologist, Dr. Dot Pyxis.

“Stable.”  The anes responds while glancing at you and you give him a reassuring smile.  “You can start now, Doctor Jaeger.”

You quickly pull the mayo table and you stand next to Eren.

“Scalpel.”  He says without looking at you.

The blade holder clatters softly against the kidney basin and you hand it to him.  You watch him crack his neck after taking a deep breath through the mask and he presses the tip of the blade against the patient’s skin.  You quickly grab a surgical sponge.

“Sponge.” 

You put it on Eren’s waiting hand and he wipes at the blood that seeps out.

“Cautery.” 

You give it to him.

The operation continues and you watch Eren trying to locate the ruptured part of the spleen.  You glance at him when he clicks his tongue, just as a small spray of blood stains your gown. 

“Hemo-” 

But you were already passing him the hemostat.  Eren quickly clamps the vessel.

“Irrigation.”  You push the plunger of the syringe to squirt out fluid in the abdominal cavity and you carefully refill the syringe with the same sterile solution.

“Am I supposed to work blindly here?”  Eren’s voice booms as he glares at you.

You freeze and your wide eyes, now full of fear, stare back at him.

“Suction!”  He says loudly and you immediately hand him the suction tip.

He yanks it from you and you bow your head in shame.  You bite your lips hard enough that you taste tangy copper but you blink the tears away.  You refuse to cry in front of him.

The operation ends after a few more outbursts from Eren.

After the patient is rolled to the post anesthesia care unit, you linger around in the theater to clean up, and so you’ll have an excuse not to come to the station where Eren is definitely writing the report in the patient’s chart.

“What an asshole, amiright?”  the anesthesiologist drawls to you as he bounces a leg while sitting on a chair in the corner.

You only smile at him politely, refusing to confirm his words.

“He definitely shouldn’t have done that to you.”  He says more seriously now.  “Even if she was his friend.”

Your hands pause and you look at him.

“Patient Ackerman is his friend?”

He nods.  “Back in med school, or even before that.”  He stands to stretch.  “Well, I’ll be off now.  You better bring me souvenirs from that trip of yours.”

You stare off into the swinging doors, the silence of the empty theater rings on your ears.

That explains his behaviour. 

The law says that he was not supposed to operate on immediate family and friends. 

Or was it about something else.

You clean up the sterile instruments along with the orderly.  He keeps glancing at you, but you deliberately chose not to meet his eyes as you know exactly what he wanted to ask, and you refuse to be the subject of their pity.

On your way back to the nurses’ station, you take a glance inside the post anesthesia care unit or PACU as you call it.

And a single glance inside has you ashamed of your actions.

It seems like Dr. Jaeger and apparently Dr. Ackerman, not just patient Ackerman, share something deeper than friendship.

You pursued a man who is in a relationship.

Eren was slumped on the chair next to her.  His hair is disheveled and his face rests on his hands.  He looks equally distraught as he is exhausted.

The cardiac monitor beeps and he stands abruptly to see what went wrong.

He lets out a breath of relief when she stabilizes once more.

Your eyes sting with tears.  You do not understand why you are so upset with yourself.  Was it for letting him lash out on you, or was it for pining for him when he is already head over heels for someone.

You choke back your tears and head to the station.  Historia is already waiting for you.  Her eyes looked angry but she was so gentle in handing you your stuff. 

You thanked her when she gave you the procedure sheet which needed your signature. 

You sniffled and quickly cleared your throat.

“I’ll see you in two weeks.”  You smile at her.

“That’s it!”  She says loudly just before grabbing hold of your hands over the counter.  “You go enjoy that trip, you hear me?  You have to enjoy it so hard that you’ll forget that he even existed!”

The other nurses cheer and some of the other surgeons nod at you.

You glance in the direction of the PACU.

Damn right you’re gonna enjoy this trip.

Doctor's Order • Progress Notes • Care Plan

[whisperofsong]

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Female Reader

Summary: Bob is willing to rearrange plans when you fall ill on your birthday.

Note: I was inspired to write this piece because today is my birthday and I’m sick.  As my mom told me, we all have our own methods for providing ourselves with comfort and writing about beloved Bob does just that for me💛  Thank you for supporting my writing!

____________________________________________

When your eyes flutter open on the day of your birthday, you instantly recognize that something is wrong.  Your throat feels tight and when you fetch a glass of water in an attempt to soothe it, it’s akin to swallowing shards of glass.  You wince and your shoulders slump because this can only mean one thing: you’re sick.  On your birthday.  

Fortunately, you had taken the day off from work ahead of time, so you don’t have to worry about that. Nevertheless, you’re disappointed because today is supposed to be a jubilant one; one that entails relaxation and celebration.  Not a day that includes being confined to your bed and feeling miserable.  As you return to your bedroom, you notice a folded note sitting on your nightstand.  It reads, Happy Birthday, Y/N.  I wish I could stay at home with you, but I guess I’ll have to settle for spending this evening with you.  I love you and can’t wait to celebrate the special woman you are.  Love, Bob.

You release a defeated sigh because although it’s your day, Bob is even more excited about it than you.  He’s been discussing it for months, hinting at several surprises, but never giving away too much despite your frequent pestering for information.  Now the day is ruined and the irony of it all is that you’re the one who ruined your own birthday.  

After forcing some food into your system, you get dressed and drive to urgent care.  While it’s only fifteen minutes away, the drive feels endless as achiness settles into your legs.  An hour later, you leave the facility with a positive result for strep throat and a prescription for potent antibiotics.  The line at the pharmacy is lengthy, so you couldn’t be more relieved when it’s finally your turn and your prescription is filled within ten minutes.

Once you arrive home and have taken your first dose of the antibiotics, you consider texting Bob, but decide against it.  Bob is a devoted and doting boyfriend, always seeking ways to console, encourage, and support you.  However, news like this will likely consume him for the remainder of the day, meaning that it could serve as a major distraction at work.  The last thing you want is for Bob’s focus to be compromised, resulting in a trip to the emergency room.  Instead, you decide to nestle under your plush comforter and close your eyes for a little while.

When you wake up, your eyes widen at the realization that you slept for almost four hours. You likely would have slept longer if it weren’t for your clammy skin and the persistent achiness in your lower half. You rifle through the tiny closet in your bathroom until you locate the thermometer, which reveals you have a fever of 101.6.  Yikes. You take some medicine, hoping that it will reduce your fever before Bob returns because you don’t want him to see you in this state.  You look and feel awful.

You try to pass the time by scrolling on various social media apps on your phone and reading a couple of magazines, but your body betrays you as your eyes grow heavy. While you try to fight it, determined to stay awake, you eventually lose the battle and succumb to slumber.  You dream of dinner with Bob, holding hands as you each enjoy a glass of wine, laughing about things only the two of you would understand.  Visions of you two stealing kisses in his truck, his arm securely wrapped around your shoulder while you slightly tug on the hair at his nape, dance in your mind. The dream is perfect and feels so real that you’re somewhat startled when you’re awoken by the closing of the front door.

“Where’s the birthday girl?”  Bob’s exuberant voice echoes through the house and your heart aches at the sound of it. You want to respond, but are incapable of projecting your voice and don’t want to strain it.

“Y/N?” Bob calls once more before you hear the thumping of his feet on the carpeted stairs as he makes his way to your shared bedroom.  His smile immediately falls upon seeing you in bed, looking ashen and depleted.

“What’s wrong?” He approaches you and positions himself on the edge of the bed, laying his hand atop yours that is hidden by the comforter.

You hoist yourself up and wince at how much effort it takes to do so.  The concern reflected in his eyes only increases, thereby causing you to feel worse.  “I didn’t feel well when I woke up this morning, so I went to urgent care and found out I have strep throat.  I picked up the medicine for it, but don’t feel a difference yet.  I also have a fever.”

“Oh, baby.  I’m so sorry.”  Bob sits forward and gingerly cups your cheek in his warm, wide palm.  “What do you need?  A drink?  A cool washcloth to bring your temperature down?  I can make you soup if you’re hun-“

Your sudden flow of tears interrupts Bob’s endearing rambling.  “Baby, why you are crying?” he asks in a voice laced with genuine concern.

You shake your head, your melancholia constricting your throat, making it challenging to speak. You turn your head because you’re embarrassed to be this emotional, especially when he’s being so kind.  However, Bob will have none of it.  You feel his fingertips upon your chin as he says, “Please look at me, Y/N.  You can tell me anything.”  When you finally look at him, you’re met with reassuring eyes, eyes that want what’s best for you.

“I feel so badly, Bob. We’ve both been looking forward to this for months and-“  Snot trickles from your nose, but before you can get a tissue, Bob is ahead of you as he returns with the entire box and holds one out for you with an understanding smile.  You give him an appreciative one and blow your nose before continuing.  “You’ve been especially enthusiastic about celebrating this birthday with me as it’s our first time celebrating as boyfriend and girlfriend and I can’t help but feel…”  You momentarily drift off, reluctant to say the last part aloud.

“Can’t help but feel what?” he prompts.

A sigh escapes you and although you’re tempted to avoid making eye contact with him, you force yourself to meet his gaze.  “I can’t help but feel that I ruined it.  I ruined my own birthday.  I ruined our first opportunity to celebrate it as a couple.  Worst of all, I ruined it for you.”  You sniffle a few times and wipe away the stray tears that begin to travel down your face.

Bob gently takes both of your hands in his own.  “First of all, you haven’t ruined anything.  It’s not your fault you’re sick.  Second of all, today isn’t about me.  Yes, I had some things planned, but plans are bound to change.  That’s part of life.  All this means is that I get to celebrate my best girl another time, on a day that she’s feeling up for it.”

“You’re not…upset with me?”

“Gosh no,” he exhales. “I’m upset for you because you deserve a day that reminds you of the beautiful, intelligent, loving, and special woman that you are to me and so many others that are privileged to be in your life.”

You squeeze his hands and he returns the gesture while his eyes are fixated on you.  “Now, how about some chicken noodle soup?”

“Yes, please,” you reply in a grateful voice.  He presses a lingering kiss on your warm forehead.  “Coming right up,” he answers.

A half hour later, Bob is carrying a tray into your bedroom, the steam from the bowl on it permeating the air.  It also contains a tall glass of water with a bendy straw.  He must notice you eyeing it because he explains, “I figured it may be easier to sip with a straw.”  He carefully places the tray on top of you and folds the napkin on your lap.

“Wait…is this homemade chicken noodle soup?” you ask.

“It is.  You can have the canned stuff any other day of the year, but your birthday calls for something more festive.”

“Thank you, Bob. You’re so thoughtful,” you tell him as you caress his cheek, adoringly staring at the man who owns a significant piece of your heart.

“Anything for my girl.”  He scoops some of the soup with a spoon and feeds you.  You would normally protest such a thing, but realize that while Bob is doing this to comfort you, it also comforts him to know that he’s able to take care of you in a small way.  Therefore, you refuse to deny him of such a thing.  The soup soothes your throat and tastes just as wonderful as it did the last time Bob made it for the two of you.  

Once you finish your soup and Bob takes everything downstairs, he climbs into bed beside you and pulls you to his chest.  He buries his face into your neck and peppers it with slow, tender kisses that cause your entire body to relax while ensconced in his arms.  You turn your head and whisper, “You’re so good to me, Bob.”

“How can I not be?” he asks.  “You’re so good to me.”  He begins to lean down to kiss you on the lips, but you rest your palm on his chest to prevent him from going further.  

“What are you doing? You’re going to get yourself sick.”

“And deprive myself of kissing you?  I’ll gladly take the risk, Y/N.”

Despite being ill, his lips on yours feel right.  If someone had told you weeks ago that this is how you would be spending your anticipated birthday, you would have been forlorn.  However, as you bask in the safety and happiness of your boyfriend’s arms, disappointment is a foreign feeling because you can’t imagine a love greater than this.

 @bradshawsbaby @gretagerwigsmuse @roosterforme @luminousnotmatter @bobfloydsbabe @sebsxphia @mothdruid @dhwanishah09 @ghxst-heart @rhettabbotts

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

To you he's a menace to society, he's my little princess though. I'm back and here to serve more ideas of my favorite mean bbg 💗💗

Ok ok so I know this is based on the fic I sended, but can you imagine tan's wife being just so sassy? Walking up to this well known and feared leader, hand on our hip, smug smile, not a care in the world and saving our boys. And we always win because I said so.

Which brings me to my next point, acting. (I'm not obsessed with this idea at all haha) Now, this is silly but hear me out, since in the movie, the prince is a diesel because of her acting and how she bluffs, what if reader is arguing she's also a diesel because of her great acting skills. All I know for sure is that Lem would be so pissed at what we just said.

I hc that Tan doesn't spend much time on the internet, so when we send him "I'll see you at 14:37 :)" don't expect him to know. Lem would be like "you fucking dumbass" and having to explain what it means. (1437 = i love you forever)

Casual dom with Tan?? Pulling you by the waist so thar on the sidewalk you're further from the cars. Giving you his jacket because you "forgot" yours at home (he secretly loves it) scolding you when you don't eat and holding your chin up to make you look at him

This one is self indulgent but, wearing heels all day and you're legs hurt so he offers you a piggy back ride back home :((

Last one, I think he's kind of hesitant to open up at first but as time went by, and you two get married, what do you think will change in your relationship?

OK LAST ONE FR THIS TIME I'm feeling a little mischievous, giving him an attitude? 😱😱 shocking but,, how will he react? Please share thoughts ☺️

Also,, that text conversation ?? Delicious, thank you for the food ma'am. A while back, when I send one of these ideas asks (idk how to call them) I mentioned how it'll be like to be in a groupchat with these two and the fake sms app is exactly what I had in mind. Now that I saw the post, I wanted to ask if you could do something similar but I'm aware it's probably a lot of hassle so it's okay if you don't want to !! Sorry for any spelling mistakes!!  💺 anon

I love wearing sunglasses bcs no one will know what you're looking at haha. I say as I'm obviously staring at Tan's chest

hii!! ofc ofc, please enlighten me with ideas of our cute wholesome angel😩!!

1. like a protective mama bear 😌 always looking out for our little princesses. and yes to winning bc that’s the only way tbh

2. 😭😭😭 yes!! would kinda imagine as a femme fatale just bc it’s badass, and she would have many skills- acting one of them!! like someone you watch in a movie, and you’re like she’s fucking cool

3. yes!! feel like he’s a bit old in that department - he’s not really ‘up to date’. tbh I didn’t I know what that meant either until I read your last line😭 I feel like Lems the opposite of tan with the internet, he just knows things

4. ARFFGH LOVE IT!! he’s very chivalrous bc I say so! he NEVER lets you walk on the outside of the pavement!! always holds the/ your bags !! holds you close if you’re both out at night!! makes you food if you haven’t eaten!! makes you drinks- big acts of service kinda guy🫠😌 MAYBE… he doesn’t need a jacket but always brings one bc he knows you’ll get cold :((

5. so cute !!! especially if you went on a date!!

6. he’s a tough nut to crack!! dare I say a little difficult to love at times😶 I think he just needs lots of genuine reassurance and support to get you both past that first barrier. also he probs tries to push you away. but once you’re comfortable with each other and had a lot of time to learn from one another, he’ll be a great partner!! as most people, he gets more comfortable with time, so he’ll start to annoy you and wind you up for fun. maybe might argue more as time goes on, but they’re not that serious, nor are they petty, just standard ones

7. he knows how to shut you up, that’s all im gonna say

8. ugh you’re so welcome, love feeding my children😌 yes yes ofc!! just need to figure out how to that (bc it’s 3 people) I send messages to my ipad and respond that way😭 so if I find away to make a group chat as such, I’ll definitely let you know

9. he’s got such a pretty chest🥹

[tortoisebore]

what would remus contact name for sirius be and vice versa?

this is just…..,me projecting. and i got carried away and it’s so long. you’ve been warned

i think sirius is an emoji girlie and remus’ contact name would be “💞🥰✨🫶🤭 baby 💖🥺💞💫🫣” or some random nickname/pet name that changes once a week that he comes up with while drunk & remus pretends to hate but actually enjoys.

idk like one time they were leaving a new years eve party & sirius got smashed & had to be bodily removed from the vicinity and taken home, and eventually remus just let him go piggy back bc they were getting absolutely nowhere fast & sirius was so giddy ab being carried by his big tall bf that he launched into the most horrific 20-minute rendition of just the “he’ll be a strong man” bit of “i can make you a man” from rocky horror which like…..definitely didn’t fit the occasion & remus very much bitched ab being compared to rocky. and when they woke up hungover the next day remus was like “thank god he was too plastered to remember that” but then sirius rolled over & snuggled up real close & pressed his nose to remus’ neck all sweet and said so so softly “he’ll be a stroooong maaaaan” and remus is like oh god oh fuck oh no please but it’s too late, and then next thing he knows his name in sirius’ phone for the next week is “😈💪👅strooong maaan🥵❤️‍🔥🤭” until he thinks of something new

but the contact photo always stays the same & it’s a grainy black & white pic of sirius practically climbing on top of remus in a photo booth & kissing his cheek all cute & it’s been sirius’ favorite pic of them for like two years bc remus is smiling so so big & it makes his little heart melt every time he sees it

i think remus would use emojis very sparingly all around and almost always only with sirius, so his name in remus’ phone would be something sweet and simple like “Sirius 💕” or just “S ♥️” but sirius steals his phone often to take selfies as a gift & change his contact name, so sometimes remus opens their text thread & finds that sirius’ name is “light of my life💖💞♥️❤️‍🔥💕” or “✨💫my most beautiful and perfect love ✨💫”

half the time the name is too long to be completely visible in imessage, so one day he goes to text sirius ab meeting for lunch and finds “❤️‍🔥🔥🥵hot & sexy bf who loves me so so much & wants me so bad & needs me to fuck him on our…” and the rest is cut off. he just laughs it off bc he’s a good sport and as always he goes to check his camera roll bc sirius always leaves selfies behind when he does this but he opens the app to find about twenty incredibly salacious photos and two videos waiting and he has to put his phone down for a solid three minutes, then just sends sirius a text that says “i fucking hate you” and sirius immediately knows what it is so he goes “👹👅😈❤️‍🔥” and then remus says “come home for lunch” and that’s that

but remus’ contact photo for sirius is a picture sirius took of them at the park last summer when out of nowhere he’d said “oh my god remus come here look how pretty the lighting is” & then took about four hundred pictures of them lying under a tree. they left the park with mild sunburns and a bigger icloud storage subscription on remus’ phone

[baileys-3]

NEW CHAPTER ONLINE on AO3 - Chapter 13

Sneak Peak after the link

Due to some unforeseen events, one evening when they don’t see each other suddenly turns into three.

The next day, Lucy spends the evening with her Aunt Amy and Tamara as planned. Whenever she visits, they enjoy cooking traditional dishes from their homeland together. It always makes Lucy feel connected to her roots, and she loves cooking with her aunt. Since Tamara has been living with her, she has also caught the cooking bug on these evenings. And the three of them always have a lot of fun chopping, preparing, frying, and everything else that goes with it. The evening is usually the highlight of the month for her; this time, though, she has to make an effort to enjoy it, and she really does try. But she can't help but think about Tim and how much she misses him. The butterflies in her stomach keep fluttering just at the thought of him.

She's only seen him briefly several times at the station today since they're both trying to keep extra distance from each other during work hours so that no one gets the idea that something could be going on. And that doesn't make it any easier to carve out time to talk while on the clock. They do share some glances, though.

And a hell of a lot of messages. By Tim's standards, he has always been very modest when it comes to texting or generally making social contact on their phones. She receives the first message shortly after six in the morning. She sees it after her alarm has gone off. She disappears into the bathroom for a moment and then switches on her phone, yawning while she reads the message.

Tim: Don't forget my coffee and donuts ☕️🍩😏

He even used emojis. Which probably took him a few minutes to find in the first place. Because Tim isn't the emoji -using type.

They write several messages back and forth until she enters the locker room at the station and then puts her phone away. They see each other briefly at roll call, where she learns that the two men arrested had nothing to do with the dead body in the rented car. However, some weapons and a lot of extremist material were found in the house, so both will probably spend a long time behind bars. The search for the perpetrator continues, and more background interviews are scheduled for the day. But thankfully, these only last until lunchtime. After that, she can go back on patrol as usual.

In the meantime, Tim is called to a few locations as a supervisor but never to one where Lucy is. Their lunch times don't synch up either, so they don't see each other at the food trucks. But that doesn't stop Tim from exchanging several messages with Lucy during lunch with Aaron, which earns him one or more sideway glances from his go-fer. Not that Aaron knows who he's texting with, but he can see that he's not just checking his results and statistics app. Because he types too much for that. At least Aaron knows when to keep quiet and doesn't ask any more questions.

The afternoon is pretty uneventful. Lucy is called out on several small calls, which consist more of assistance than actual police work. Assistance is still an essential part of police work, and it's also one that she always particularly enjoys. The afternoon ends up being pretty quiet. So when she gets back to the station, Lucy sends a text to Tim…

Lucy: Going to have a shower, and then I’m heading home. Is there a chance we can meet?

His reply comes almost immediately.

Tim: Just got back to the station. I've got some paperwork to do. Text me when you're done. We can meet in the garage at your car.

Half an hour later, she arrives at the underground garage, freshly showered, only to find Tim, still in uniform, leaning against her car. As she comes close enough, he pulls her around the corner and behind a small post that she didn't even know existed until now. Then he pushes her against the wall and kisses her passionately until she gets dizzy. Tim seems to have some weakness in pushing her against walls, which suits her. Because she clearly has a weakness for being pushed against walls by Tim. They don't have much time because they are still in the LAPD underground parking lot, and someone could walk by at any moment, even if they are somewhat concealed. Their few minutes consist of kissing and whispering snippets of conversation so that nobody who walks by hears them. Lucy has to admit that she gets a little adrenaline rush from this private meeting and realizes for the first time what it means to date in secret. She finds it exciting that their relationship is a secret between them, something that only belongs to the two of them.

[justanotherblonde]

it's sasodei week 2024!

i have precisely one thing to contribute, but ffs it's not done yet grr!! maybe we can blame my dog... she demanded i come play with her no less than nine times (i kept track) as i wrote this post (she does this by shouting at me then humping my leg to show me who's boss, sometimes pulling on my sweater sleeve with her sharp li'l teefs, beagles, man, i tell ya...) 🐶

anyway!! here's a TEASER of my Day 3 Band/Rockstar/Idol AU story ahhhhh!!! it's not even titled yet!!!!! i don't even really know what the tags will be! and i haven't had time to make a header image!! 😫

but this i know, oh this i know:

Sasori is first chair cello of the Sunagakure Philharmonic

He has a dirty little secret hobby: listening to metal (among other genres that are definitely not classical)

One of the bands he listens to is called C4

Guess who's the lead singer???

Yes, you guessed it, it's Deidara, singer/song-writer, perhaps much more...

In this AU, everybody lives!! Well... okay fine, Sasori's parents still didn't make it, i'm sorry

But that means two important things: Third Kazekage is alive! And there are a LOT of Uchiha running around.

There's more, a lot more, but you'll have to wait until i steal more minutes and hours from my dog and my work! but i'll give it to ya, come hell or high water! or wildfires, earthquakes, debilitating PM 2.5 ratings, or uh... dare i say... another pandemic??? FEAR NOT!

if you want to wait for the full thing to drop to read, i've left the teaser excerpt below the cut.

a million thanks to @sasodeiweek for hosting this event and encouraging us SasoDei creators to flex our creative muscles! loving all the contributions so far!

and without further ado...

Rehearsal ran circles round Sasori’s ears. The music followed him always, all hours.

Chapter 1

Rehearsal ran circles round Sasori’s ears. The music followed him always, all hours.

The fine, agile fingers of his left hand twitched; his right hand swayed side to side, marking the strokes of his bow. Eyes half-closed, his feet kept time on the pavement as he walked. It was Haydn this week, Cello Concerto No. 1 in C major. A weighty yet familiar responsibility for Sasori, first chair cello of the Sunagakure Philharmonic.

He sighed. Rehearsal had wrapped half an hour ago. He was on his way home, and tomorrow was a rest day. He didn’t need to torture himself like this. 

The headphones around his neck were a comforting weight, as friendly and intimate as the straps of his cello case on his shoulders. He flipped them over his ears and dug in his coat pocket for his phone. Scrolling through the saved playlists on his music app, he skipped all of the classical “homework” and went straight for his guilty pleasures: dance-pop, glam-rock, musicals… and heavy metal. 

No one at work knew about his low, low tastes.

Well, the Third had known. 

Sasori gritted his teeth, biting back unbidden memories. Now he definitely needed to blast his brain clean with some noise. 

Something heavy.

Something loud.

Something to transport him far away from the sand-scraped streets of Sunagakure.

His thumb landed on the album he was looking for.

Art is an EXPLOSION by C4. Track 1: “Light It Up.”

From that first haunting guitar chord, the tension Sasori held in his chest and face dispersed. He rode that twisting whine down, down… someplace dark and cool, far beneath the earth. As the barreling drums built to a crescendo, he held his breath—wait for it!—

A million years, through timeless stone I’m damned to walk this path alone This darkness, all I’ve ever known…

The lead singer had a deep, melodic voice. He molded each word of the verse carefully, tenderly, as if he were embarking on a ballad… then WHAM!

Cymbals crashed; the roaring chorus caught the last two notes of an electrifying riff like a surfer hopping a wave:

Light it up! Hey, light it up! Strike a match and light it up! My fuse is short, ’m ready to blow, Crush the ceiling down to the floor!

Not in a million years would Sasori admit out loud to anyone that he listened to C4, especially not now that the public were actually aware of their existence. The metal band had catapulted to fame last year with their single “Burn Down All the Discos,” but Sasori had been listening to them well before that. Three years ago, his music app had recommended him a track from Art is an EXPLOSION—C4’s debut album—based on his eclectic streaming history. 

If the first song Sasori had heard by C4 had been anything but “Artist,” he’d probably never have given them a chance: their usual sound was, on the surface, sloppy, and most of the lyrics were childish boasts. “Look at me!” their vocalist seemed to say in every song. 

But “Artist” was different. It was, inexplicably, an up-tempo perversion of Vivaldi’s Winter Largo in F Minor, lamenting how hard it was to live for art’s sake when the world ran on money and heroic virtue. Listeners without classical training would be unable to appreciate or likely even identify the subtleties of what had been done with the classical score, but the first time he heard it, Sasori had been riveted. Vivaldi’s rhythmic harpsichord had been replaced with a softly tapped snare drum; a mournful electric guitar carried the melody when it wasn’t sung. 

Curiosity piqued, Sasori had investigated the rest of the album, and found similar nods to classical music throughout the tracks, much harder to notice than the adapted Vivaldi, drowned as they were in a thunderstorm of electric guitar and percussion. C4 were more than just a metal band: they experimented with typical traits of the genre and also drew from pop rock, classical music, even musical theatre to create a sound unlike anything Sasori had ever heard. They broke all the rules and they did it with glee.

One day—a rest day—home alone and bored, Sasori had looked up the band online. It surprised him to learn that the lead singer had been only sixteen when the band was formed. That powerful voice certainly didn’t sound like it belonged to a teenager. But the band’s website was light on biographical information, and Sasori hadn’t felt like digging deeper. An overwhelming amount of fan sites and social media accounts had sprung up since “Burn Down All the Discos” and C4’s world tour. Bored as he was that day, Sasori wasn’t about to use his precious free time to obsess over some flash-in-the-pan rock band, especially one fronted by a kid.

And yet, he still listened to them.

“Artist” often competed for the position of most frequently-played song on his app, but only when he was feeling particularly moody. 

It crossed his mind that he ought to check if C4 had come out with anything new lately—the app usually sent a message when artists he’d followed released new music. Pausing to wait for a traffic light, he dug for his phone again.

Lo and behold, a new album had dropped not three days ago.

Beauty of a Moment, it was called. The cover art featured the Venus de Milo... mid-explosion.

Sasori chuckled under his breath. “He really does fancy himself an artist, doesn’t he…” 

What a fool. Popular music was not art. Rock music was not art. It came and went, but the classics stayed. For centuries. Forever.

It was the one thing Sasori and the Third had always agreed on, despite all of their differences. 

Speaking of which… 

...

[sjsmith56]

The Fae Elements, Part 1 - Courtship

Summary: The appearance of a mysterious man at Sage’s father’s funeral has her intrigued. When he shows up at her law office and invites her for dinner her curiosity pushes her to accept the invitation.

Length: 6.1 K

Characters: James Barnes, OFC (named but not described other than 31 years of age), assorted other minor characters.

Warnings: I’m not really much into the fae world of literature so this story may not follow traditional fae lore or plots. I have borrowed from other mythologies to build this world. If you’re into fae fiction please forgive me if it doesn’t meet those expectations.

Author notes: The AI image of James Barnes was created by the author using Microsoft Copilot app, in Designer mode. This first part sets the stage for the fae king to appear, realize the importance of the OFC, and to begin the courtship. Although he appears to take no for an answer, it’s not as straightforward as that as the next parts will show. A fae king has a reason for everything he does.

⭐️ 🌕 ☀️

All things have a beginning and an ending. We’re born, we live then we die. It is inevitable for all living things. It didn’t make it any less hard to bear while Matthew Hawthorne, beloved husband and my dear father was being laid to rest in a shady spot of Forest Green Cemetery, on a cool day in the middle of April. Two years of fighting cancer had taken its toll on the family but especially on my mother, Fern, who had nursed him until it was too much even for her. Now he was gone, and she was widowed, after 42 years of marriage, at the relatively young age of 63.

It was me, Sage, their only daughter, and the youngest, who first saw the incredibly beautiful but strange man watching from the edge of the mourners, standing under one of the oldest trees in the cemetery, a gnarled oak rumoured to be hundreds of years old. The man, wearing a dark but expensive suit had long, dark hair that was distinctive, but seemed as if he had always worn his hair this way. That, combined with the strong shape of his jaw, sharp cheekbones and muscular build gave him an aura that was both compelling and mysterious. His deep blue grey eyes were fixed firmly on my mother who had yet to see him. Neither, apparently, had my two older brothers.

I kept watching him surreptitiously until he switched his gaze to me briefly, making me look away in confusion at how his notice made me feel. Perhaps I was staring at him too much in a way that felt too bold. But there was no judgement evident in how he looked at me; rather, it seemed he was surprised and maybe a little intrigued by my interest in him. As the minister finished his closing remarks and our family said goodbye to Dad before the casket was lowered into the ground, I risked another glimpse at the man, who once again, focused his attention on my mother. The other mourners came forward paying their respects to her, and she accepted their words with the grace she had always displayed in both her personal and public lives.

Suddenly the man was there, next in line to speak to Mom, who gasped when she saw him.

“Buck,” she whispered. “How did you know?”

“I do pay attention to the world,” he replied, in a voice that sounded like the softest rainfall. “It was far too long since I last saw you both. He was good to you.”

It was said as a statement, not a question.

“Yes, he made me happy,” she replied. “I’ll miss him, terribly.”

“Of course you will,” he replied. “He was everything to you.”

Then Mom did the strangest thing, touching his bearded cheek with her palm, in a way so gentle that it startled me. I looked at my brothers, but it felt like no one else could see the familiar yet reserved way he accepted her touch. I almost felt ashamed for being witness to something so soft and private. He bent down and kissed her tenderly on the cheek, whispering in her ear so quietly that only she heard. Yet I swear that I heard a sound like the flutter of an unfolding wing as he hugged her. A brief vision of her being enclosed in the gentle embrace of a set of giant wings flashed in my mind as Mom smiled and nodded her head to his words.

“I will miss you,” she whispered back. “Thank you for being here.”

He stepped back then turned to look at me with eyes that felt like they were centuries old. Again, I felt I was being assessed. Perhaps he saw things in me that I was unaware of, even in the space of those few seconds. For a brief moment I could smell the rich fertile petrichor scent of a forest after a rainfall, clean and full of the promise of life.

“You’ve grown since I last saw you,” he said, in that soft voice again, offering me his hand. His gaze was steady on me. “You also appear to have your mother’s gift. Perhaps I will see you again.”

With those words now spoken, he released my hand, leaving us to return to his spot under the oak tree. Other things caught our attention then and when I looked once more at the spot, the man was gone.

“Who was he?” I asked my mother.

“Hmm?” Mom looked at me blankly. “Who was who, dear?”

“The stranger with the long hair,” I replied. “He was watching from under that old oak tree.”

Mom shook her head. “Sage, I don’t know who you’re talking about. We have to get back for the reception.”

I turned to my closest brother to ask if he knew where the man was, and he looked at me strangely.

“What man?”

I wasn’t about to go through that again, so I let it rest and attended to our guests at the reception, receiving more condolences. It was late when I finally arrived home and parked my car in the underground parking of the apartment building, I lived in. On the elevator up, I slipped my shoes off, rubbing my feet with my hand as it was the world’s slowest elevator and my feet hurt after spending the whole day in those awful heels. Holding the shoes in my hand as I walked down the hallway, I dropped them on the carpet outside my door and fished out my keys, sliding them in the lock, then wearily picked up the shoes only to drop them again on the floor in the entryway. Immediately, I could smell that scent of the forest again and I turned on the light, stepping warily into my living room.

“Hello? Is anyone here?”

I felt stupid for asking it, as an intruder wouldn’t answer. That’s when I saw it, an orchid, a pale pink lady slipper, at least that’s what came up on the image search after I took its picture with my phone. Planted in a small pot that was filled with moss, it sat on the coffee table. A small card was next to it, written in the most beautiful writing I had ever seen, saying to take good care of it. It was unsigned but somehow, I knew it had been left there by the mysterious man, an assumption based on the forest smell still lingering in my home. The orchid was unexpected, unsettling, and unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life, but I wasn’t afraid. After seeing how gentle and kind he was with my mother somehow, I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me. So, what did he want?

In the month after the funeral my brothers and I helped my mother with the necessities of settling our father’s estate. He had a will, leaving almost everything to her, except for some disbursements to the grandchildren, my brother’s kids, as I had never married. Each of us children received a part of his legacy, enough that we could clear debts, live better, or just invest for the future. We went through his personal things, taking pieces of his life that meant something to us. I took some flannel shirts to wear when I went camping as it was something I did with my father often, and some photography books showcasing the natural wonders of the world. In many ways my love of the outdoors came from him, as he showed me how precious life was. After all of us kids made our choices, Mom chose her favourites, packed everything else up and gave it to charity. Slowly, we got used to living without my dad around, although the grief we all felt clung to us in varying intensities, some days bearable, other days overwhelming.

I had never been in love, not the type of love that my parents had, something deep and trusting. Perhaps in wanting that kind of love I wasn’t too forgiving of perceived slights. That wasn’t to say that I hadn’t been hurt because I had, several times. But at least, I never had to go through a divorce, having never loved anyone enough to marry them. It led me to believe that I was destined to be the maiden aunt that people always talked about in hushed tones. Most people had at least one such person in their family; either a sorry individual who insinuated themself into the lives of their siblings because their own life was so lonely; or someone who gave every indication of living a free and easy life, unencumbered by the obligations of spouse or children. Since I had an intense job as an environmental lawyer, in a law firm working for various environmental organizations in the never-ending battle of protecting the environment against corporate interests, it was a trade-off that I was willing to make. But a part of me still longed for the gentle touch of at least a caring lover, one who could see past the façade of what I was and instead see the real me.

After a particularly gruelling preliminary appearance in court trying to stop a mining company from polluting a watershed that fed into one of the national parks, I went back to my office to finish some paperwork. Our secretary looked up at me as I entered the reception area.

“You have a visitor, Sage,” she said, motioning to one of the seats across from her. “A Mr. James Barnes.”

I turned to see the man, startled that it was actually Buck, the man who knew my mother, sitting there in his expensive suit, calmly reading an environmental magazine. I could feel my heart beating in my ears but pulled myself together.

“Mr. Barnes?” He looked up and once more those blue grey eyes pierced my soul. “Please, come with me.”

He stood up effortlessly, reminding me of a dancer in how he moved, as if he walked without impacting the surface below him. It was graceful, sensual, and just the physical act of moving sent a waft of that forest scent my way. I was self-conscious as I walked ahead of him, wondering if he was looking at me, at how I moved. When I opened my office door, I stepped aside to let him in first, but he refused so I went in ahead of him and went around to my chair, while he sat in the armchair across from me. For a moment my mouth went dry, and I couldn’t say anything, but he spoke first, in that soft voice that soothed me like a gentle rainfall.

“I apologize for my sudden appearance at your office,” he said. “I was in Washington for a hearing on some applications to drill for oil in the national parks, when I heard your name being mentioned. Since it’s been a little while since I last saw you, I thought we could get reacquainted.”

“I didn’t know you knew my name,” I replied. “Mom never introduced us.”

“That’s true,” he admitted, “but I did meet you several times as you grew up. It was also in the obituary of your father, and on the program at the funeral. It appears we have a common interest in protecting the environment.”

“When did we meet?”

“Several times when your parents took your family camping.” He smiled slightly as if the memories were good ones. “I’m fond of the outdoors. I think the last time I saw you was when you and your family went camping in the Adirondacks on one of your family weekends together. You were swimming so I doubt you noticed me.”

Considering how young he looked I could honestly say I didn’t as he must have been a teenager himself. Before I could ask him more, he spoke.

“I am with Gaia Life. Perhaps you’ve heard of us? It’s named after the Greek goddess of Earth, who was the mother of all life.”

I had heard of them, supposedly funded by a secretive billionaire who wished to remain anonymous. Considering the mystery behind Buck, or James Barnes as my secretary called him, it seemed fitting that he worked for Gaia Life.

“So, what is your name, exactly? Mom called you Buck, but my secretary called you James Barnes.”

“Both,” he said. “To my friends I am Buck, but to the public I use my given name. Gaia Life is my organization, my reason to exist; my contribution to saving the world.”

“You’re the founder?” I almost choked. He was one of the richest people in the world and he sought me out. He was sitting right across from me. “I thought he was an anonymous billionaire, someone older, trying to make himself look good with an environmental angle.”

“I am him, except I’ve only been involved in environmental issues. The making money out of it has been more fortunate than designed.” He grinned. “Not many people make the connection but I’m older than I look. I have … good genes, I guess. For the most part, I live a pretty reclusive life attending to the workings of Gaia Life, but I manage to come to Washington when I’m needed.”

“So, what do you want me for?” I stammered as he made me feel all flustered inside. “I mean, what can I do for you?”

“Would you go for dinner with me? I want to catch up on what your family has been up to.”

My mouth was dry again and I felt warm, too warm. His gaze was level, betraying nothing. It was just a request, nothing more, right?

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I replied.

“Why?”

“I don’t know you.”

He smiled again. “You just don’t remember meeting me. You’re Sage Hawthorne, 31, one of the best environmental lawyers around. I know you work hard and that you’re passionate about your career which is more of a vocation. I know you’re not married, because there was no spouse listed on the program of your father’s funeral and you haven’t dismissed my request for dinner with the information that you’re involved with anyone. I know we have more in common than you think. It will be in a public restaurant, and you can come on your own, leave when you want. Please, indulge a fellow environmentalist and have dinner with me.”

It was a little unsettling that he knew so much about me, considering there was little known about the elusive James Barnes. In fact, I don’t think there were even any pictures of him. The man was a mystery, virtually non-existent in a public sense. Yet, he showed up at my office and my mother knew him, apparently very well … until she didn’t.

“How do you know my mother?”

“I’ll tell you at dinner.” He smiled that enigmatic smile once more. “I knew your father as well. I respected him very much.” His gaze on me was direct and even though I knew I should be listening to my brain in keeping him at arm's length there was something about him that was … intriguing. “I’m no danger to you, Sage. Your secretary has seen me and has my name and contact information as she very professionally vetted me when I showed up here. I just want to have dinner with you.”

That refreshing forest scent was prevalent, and I couldn’t help but breathe it in. It felt like I was transported to the humid environment of a temperate rain forest, like the ones on the west coast; a clean and earthy scent, it seemed full of life and mystery.

“Alright. Where and what time?”

Barnes reached inside his suit and pulled out a business card. Borrowing a pen from my desk he wrote the name and address of the restaurant, Ardian, and the time on the back. It was the same handwriting as the card that came with the orchid, meaning he or someone working for him, had been in my apartment. I should have been angry, or at least concerned, but all I could think about was seeing this through. Then he stood up and offered me his hand. I went to shake his but instead he raised my hand to his lips, kissing it gently. Slowly, I pulled it away, lost in the sensation of his lips on my skin.

“Until later,” he said, then he left; quickly, quietly, taking the scent of the forest with him.

I was aroused, almost literally. When I started thinking about being with him, I couldn’t get the image of him hovering over me out of my head. Especially when my hand reached up and undid a tie holding his long hair back, allowing his tresses to flow over his shoulders like the sensual waterfall I knew it would be. With that vision playing on repeat in my head, I struggled to get through the paperwork before finally finishing. I had two hours before the time I was meeting Buck to get ready.

Much of that time was spent going through my closet to find the right dress to wear. Black was too severe, metallic was too fake, anything in a pastel was too summery and frivolous. I wanted to be taken seriously, not just as a woman, but as someone with a profession and a mind of her own. Then I saw it, a Diane von Furstenberg dress that I recently found in a resale shop, never worn, as it still had the tag on it. It’s presence there had surprised me and after trying it on I bought it. It hugged my curves in the right places, showed just enough cleavage to prove I wasn’t a prude, and the shade of green complimented my coloring. I put it on, smoothing it out over my body as I looked in the mirror, my hand going to the silver necklace with a tree pendant I always wore. Yes, I felt pretty in it, but I also felt empowered, and something told me that James Barnes liked empowered women. With that necklace around my neck, and small white gold hoops in my ears, I slipped on my nude heels then grabbed my purse and jacket.

The doorman hailed a cab for me, and I gave the driver the address of the restaurant. I had never heard of it before and wasn’t sure what to expect but when the car pulled up to it, I was mildly surprised. It was visibly exclusive, but not in a way that exuded wealth or excess, as it was tucked into a small building that seemed dwarfed by the towers around it. Its simple red brick façade was broken by a door and single large window that displayed a cozy ambience inside. Entering, I stood at the entrance, waiting to be greeted. A woman in black came out from the back, smiling kindly at me.

“I’m meeting James Barnes here for dinner.”

“Yes, Ms. Hawthorne, he told us to expect you,” she replied. “He’s been delayed but if you don’t mind waiting at the table, we can provide you with a drink.”

She led me past the other booths, as there were no tables in the open space. Glancing at the other people already there was strange in that many of the patrons reminded me of Buck. Handsome men, all with faces that seemed to come out of a model’s catalog, except I couldn’t even begin to guess their ages. Their dates, some men and some women, were just as beautiful, but in a natural way as if they came into their beauty on their own, and not with the intervention of a surgeon. Their gazes seemed to assess me as I passed, almost like I was being presented to a waiting court. Some of them nodded their heads subtly, as if acknowledging my presence. It was a little unnerving. We went through a door at the back into a conservatory. Filled with plants I noticed several species of orchids, including the same one that ended up in my apartment. Their scent filled the air with a perfume that was exotic. The golden glow from several candle-lit lanterns provided the only illumination, giving it a sense of intimacy. The woman stopped at the only table in the space, holding the chair for me.

“May I get you a glass of wine, Ms. Hawthorne?” she asked.

“White, any kind, please,” I answered.

She disappeared and I was left on my own for a moment to take in this small oasis. Returning quickly with a glass, she placed it on the table, then left me alone again. Nervously, I picked it up and took a sip, savouring the taste. Truly, I had never tasted any wine like it. Although it reminded me of a Chardonnay it’s floral notes indicated it was something else, something I liked.

“My apologies for being late,” said a voice as Buck entered the conservatory. I began to stand, but he put his hand out to stay my movement, slipping into the chair next to me. “Even I’m not immune to a flat tire. Is that the Viognier that you’re drinking?” I shrugged. “It’s a good choice. We own a vineyard in southern France that produces it. It’s all organic, no pesticides or artificial fertilizers of any kind. I think I’ll start with the same.”

The server came out and he gestured to my glass. She nodded, left, coming back quickly with a glass for him. He picked his up then waited for me to do the same.

“Here’s to the beginning of a friendship,” he said. For a moment, it seemed he wanted to say more but he smiled and sipped the wine instead. “I like your dress. It’s a Diane von Furstenberg, isn’t it? One of her signature wrap dresses. Beautiful colour on you and it goes well with your necklace.”

His words flattered me, more than I was willing to admit. A man that knew designers? It was making me feel a little floaty, with the romantic atmosphere, the impressive wine, and the total attention of this beautiful man in front of me. I almost forgot this was supposed to be a platonic dinner then the server came out with a salad for each of us and I realized I hadn’t ordered. With some confusion, I looked at him.

“Oh, it’s a set menu,” he said. “Vegetarian mostly, although we occasionally provide alternative protein if they’re from a sustainable and cruelty-free source.” My mouth must have been hanging open because he looked apologetic again. “I’m sorry, Gaia Life owns this restaurant. Most of our … staff eat here when they’re in Washington. When they’re not we charge exorbitant prices to the politicians we occasionally allow here, who want to court the environmental lobby. If we can’t change their mind, we make them pay one way or another.”

The salad was good, as far as salads go. So was the entrée, a pasta with a wild mushroom sauce that was unlike anything I had ever tasted. A thought came to me as our dishes were cleared and we waited for dessert.

“I’m in the environmental lobby.” We made eye contact. “But I’ve never heard of this place before tonight.”

He nodded. “That’s not unusual. It’s a special place, really. Something to remind us of what’s important.”

“You say us as if you’re something different,” I stated. His look bored into me. “Are you?”

Picking his glass up, he sipped the wine again. “If I said yes, do you promise to stay until I’ve told you everything?”

“As long as you start with how you knew my parents.”

He tilted his head. “That’s not the beginning though. Perhaps, I should start at the beginning.”

It looked like I was going to have to sit through something that was important to him. I nodded and he smiled, then said nothing. A moment later, dessert came out, a vegan chocolate cake with icing that I wanted to take home with me to have at two o’clock in the morning with a glass of milk. I must have said it out loud because Buck laughed, seemingly amused by my declaration. When our dishes were cleared, he looked at the server meaningfully.

“We’d like privacy now, Maria, please.” She nodded and we were finally alone. He breathed in, then out, and picked up my hand, seeming to inspect it. His touch was again gentle and somewhat sensuous. “I guess I could tell you how I know your parents, since you asked so nicely. I first met Fern when she was 21 years old, and on her honeymoon camping trip with your father, Matthew. I fell in love with both of them quickly, but they had already given their heart, body and soul to each other, and there really wasn’t room for me as well.” Wait, he met them 42 years ago? I wanted to ask for clarification, but he put his hand up and kept going. “Still, we became platonic friends and if anything had happened to your father when they were younger, I would have been there to comfort her. Their love stood the test of time, until your father moved on.” He hesitated for a moment. “Your mother will choose to move on with him soon.”

“She’s going to die? How do you know this?”

Buck’s face was sad for a moment. “All things die as all things have their time. Some have longer, some shorter. Humans, mortals have shorter. I have longer.”

Okay, that was cryptic.

“What are you? Please, don’t say vampire.”

I meant it facetiously, but he laughed heartily; a sound so joyous that it sounded like he really needed it. Then he became serious. “I'm part of something much older, more primal, bound to nature by bloodline and time.”

He stopped to gauge my reaction to his declaration. It should have shocked me, but my parents were quite the free spirits in many ways. We grew up being read all sorts of stories that had mythical and magical creatures in them; Minotaurs, fairies, elves, and the like. They were as much a part of my world as human fictional characters were. Except, I think that Buck was something more. When I didn’t get up and run out of the restaurant he continued.

“The forests in this world are all part of my home. I am the king of them, for they are part of the Earth. Those who you passed in the restaurant are some of my princes and their consorts, who can be mortal. One of them was one of my children. In real life and literature, I have been called a demon, or a spirit but we call ourselves fae. We are more than mortal but less than gods. I am the forest, and every forest on the planet is my responsibility but I fight a losing battle and when the last one burns, I’ll fade away. I will have failed because in our greatest time of need, I was unable to find a queen.”

The last part was said with such painful harshness that I saw the sadness laid bare within him. His pain and loneliness were suddenly evident in his voice and his eyes. After all the small but remarkable things I had witnessed connected to him in our short acquaintance I realized he had been preparing me to hear his story. In many ways we fought the same thing only he felt like it was his fault the environment was under assault while I knew it was the fault of others. Tentatively, I reached for his hand, then stopped. He faced me, with darkened eyes, a longing evident on his face.

“What happened to the last one? Why do you need one?”

“Even though I have been here on this earth for a long time I still have only so much time before I move on,” he replied. “My last queen moved on as the pain of what was happening to our kind pierced her soul. You see, not just any mortal woman can join with the one who is king. She must be one descended from the first woman, at least the first one according to most religions and beliefs.”

“Eve?” I asked.

“No, Lilith is what she is most commonly known as.” Buck sipped his wine. “She was before the Eve of Genesis and left the first mortal man who was written about, because he didn’t see her as his equal. He wished to control her as he wished to control nature and rule over it, not with it. Since then, the mortal men who write down the laws of many religions and belief systems have belittled and demonized her. We embraced her as our equal, as we were there before the religions, before the beliefs were ever written down. We just were. They called us evil because we saw the preservation of the natural world as more important than the comforts of ourselves, realizing that you didn’t have to sacrifice one to acquire the other. Although we were powerful our kind weren’t aggressive and we found it necessary to either retreat into nature, or to live as men do, hiding our true appearance. The female descendants of Lilith, had to hide themselves even more, taking mortal men as protectors and mates, which shortened the lifespan of their descendants. At various times they were hunted as evil. The history of this country has its own time darkened with the stain of their spilled blood.”

“Are you talking about Salem?” I watched his face closely as the pain flew over his face again.

“Yes, but every area populated by those who coveted wealth and influence had the madness. Even when refuge was found in certain communities once they came under attack we were forced to leave.” His voice was low and his eyes darkened, as if he had his own memories of the times. “They saw my kind as demons, servants of the dark one, when they were truly the ones with the darkness within. Even now their greed rules them, blinds them to the damage they cause. We are the guardians of the forests, the protectors of nature, and are not meant to serve alone. We’re meant to have a mate with us. But I’ve been alone for so long. My last mate, Daere, lost a sister to the madness, and it broke her. She faded away and I’ve been alone since, hiding my true self because most would see it in another less favourable light. Although I have searched for another queen, many of the current descendants of Lilith are unaware of the power that resides in them, or they choose to deny it, as they’ve been taught it is wicked and unnatural.”

“What do you really look like?”

I was intrigued by what Buck was telling me and although I had an idea in my head I wanted to know if the expectation met reality.

“Not entirely human,” was all he said. “But not as frightening as we have been portrayed in literature and religious texts.”

“Did my parents ever see you as you really are?”

“They did and were not frightened,” he answered. “But they were very open-minded and receptive to something different than them. Even though we didn’t see each other often, every time we did our reunion was full of joy. I watched you and your brothers grow into the people you’ve become now but it wasn’t until you saw me at your father’s funeral that I realized you had the gift, as I kept myself hidden to all there except your mother. You shouldn’t have noticed me, but you did. You have the blood of Lilith running in you.”

“She didn’t remember you,” I said. “After you whispered in Mom’s ear then left, I asked her about you, and she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about.”

He breathed out audibly then appeared somewhat sad and resigned. “I took myself out of her memories. It’s better that way. Her memories should only be of Matthew as she prepares to move on.”

It seemed like an admission of his love for them that he wanted her to think only of my father as she approached her final times. Which still left the question of why he sought me out. It was obvious but I wanted to hear it from his lips.

“What do you want of me?”

The words came out of my throat as my hand ached to touch his cheek. Almost as if he knew what I had just thought he picked my hand up, leaned into it as he placed it on his cheek, then he pressed his lips into my wrist.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” he said, in little more than a whisper. He looked so vulnerable in the soft glow of the lanterns, the flicker of the candles sending shadows over his face. “I seek a queen, from the bloodline of Lilith, who is unattached to any other man. I wish to court you, in the hopes that you’ll agree to becoming my mate. I tell you this truthfully so that you know I have no hidden agenda, no desire to conquer you or control you. In exchange, I will give you extended life, longer than other humans, eternal youth while we are together, children who should reap the benefits of both of our bloodlines, and an opportunity to help heal this world of the damage done to it by greed and ignorance.”

Everything Buck offered to me was valuable, and desirable but there was one thing he didn’t say, and I pulled away. He knew immediately what I desired above all else and smiled apologetically.

“I can’t offer you love,” he said truthfully. “I have loved several mortal women in my lifetime and remember each one with great tenderness but also great sadness. Every time I have to say farewell to one of them, as they move on to the next realm, a piece of me goes with them. After Daere, I grieved for a long time and although I eventually accepted that I had to seek a new mate, I hoped not to find one, not wanting to hurt like that again. I should have faded away myself after a time, but I didn’t. If your mother hadn’t been married already, I would have courted her, but finding her too late just reinforced my belief that perhaps I was already too old for this world.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, and I truly was. “I’ve never been in love with any man, not enough to marry one. Still, I’ve been hurt, and I just feel that if it’s not possible to feel love for me, then the relationship is not a true one, not like my parents had. That’s what I’ve been holding out for, and I can’t compromise now, not when you want a commitment for so long.”

He sat back, clearly not expecting this response, as the disappointment was evident on his face. I did feel bad, but it was not something I was willing to work around. If he wanted a marriage that was also a partnership it would have to have an emotional component to it. It would be a lie, otherwise.

“Well,” he finally said, a grim smile on his face. “You are a woman of strong convictions. I admire that about you.”

“You don’t have to take my memories away,” I said. “I will not betray your trust and tell anyone a word of what you’ve told me.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, standing up and offering me his hand. He clasped my hand with both of his. “My sharing of information with you was freely given but your promise of discretion is greatly appreciated. May I offer you a ride home?”

“No, I’ll take a taxi. May I split the bill?”

Buck’s smile was amused and genuine. “No, I invited you as my guest. Thank you for coming, Ms. Hawthorne.”

The formality of his farewell was a little unexpected but, in a way, it was an acknowledgement that a barrier was in place between us. He helped me on with my jacket and watched while I left the conservatory. As I walked through the restaurant there was silence as the people who had been there when I arrived watched me leave. The woman who greeted me when I got there, handed me a small box, a piece of the chocolate cake, then opened the door for me as I stepped out onto the sidewalk. With my hand raised I hailed a taxi and went home, certain that I would never see James Barnes again.

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